#like remember that human chick in the first Avatar movie?

[neonnoir-ao3]

When the joke human AU turns into a crossover AU and then turns into OCs that just happen to look like characters from a piece of media

[levinletlive]

So I Just Watched "Free Guy" Yesterday

Which is a movie I am calling a Ryan Reynolds film rather than a Taika Waititi film because Ryan was just so great in it. I have so many feelings about the movie, I have to talk about it somewhere and y'all are the unlucky sons o' bitches that get to hear it.

First, I have to say that this movie wasn't particularly groundbreaking in any way. It was just a good movie. Not a great movie, not a movie that challenges long-held movie stereotypes, not a movie that is fully awake on social justice, etc. Just a movie that kept me entertained for the majority of its runtime. With entertainment as the goal, it nailed that.

Now, I'm partial to stories of artificial intelligences (the movie AI made me straight up sob). I'm obsessed with stories of creation and the human condition, and A.I. always seem to hit the spot when it comes to exploring those themes. I don't quite like the way it was implemented in the game world; by which I mean, I don't like the way Keys (whom I was excited to see, I hope Steve-From-Stranger-Things gets more roles so I can finally remember what his actual name is) programmed Guy to be a lovelorn weirdo with no social skills who is awakened when he finds his dream girl, a trigger that smacks of Manic-Pixie-Dreamgirl tropes despite Millie not exactly fitting that stereotype. This annoyed me especially because that programming leads Guy to stalk and harass Millie in the game in a way that no woman would enjoy in the real world. Millie, for her part, is written to be apparently completely blind to the real-life dangers that cyberstalking poses for women. Guy sets off so many red flags in this movie it's like he collects them, and the irony is in the statement Guy makes at the bank when he "gifts" the hot-hot-violence-girl (I forget what they named her asset) with agency, which is that most men are awful and choosing to be single is not a bad thing.

It's actually interesting how many times the movie makes a great point about the real world, only to stumble over that point later with its actual progression. It feels like the movie struggled with elements of feminism, which makes me think the writing team did not include a single woman. There's a part in the movie where Buddy just starts feeling up Dude, which is played for laughs, but is a very clear example of sexual harassment and consent violation. It's nice that Dude can just punch people who creep on him, but not all guys who are sexually harassed by other guys have that kind of freedom. It's even weirder that the guy is a security guard, because while the ACAB crowd sort of acknowledges that security guards are often wannabe-cops without the authority, they are just as likely as real cops to abuse the little authority they do have. I have heard some horror stories about women and even kids who were abused by security employees who were on the job, so the choice to include that scene is mind-boggling to me. Plus, Dude's objectification isn't excused by the fact that he was created to be a meathead; he was still created, in the same universe as Guy, with the same software. He's just as much of a person, even if he's a bit differently-abled compared to the others.

So let's talk about some stuff I did like in the movie. I LOVED the diversity of avatars and vehicles and even the weapons. I loved that there were color-changing cars, and that there was a diversity of "skins" for the avatars and the whole city was a jumble of mismatching periods and styles. The freedom of choice and expression that represented to me was wonderful. I play FFXIV, and while there are a lot of people wearing the usual old-timey clothes, you can pick out a lot of people in the background at any given time in their underwear, or in heavy hot pink armor, or with accessories and weapons that glow or have fire effects on them, or wearing cartoonish Moogle masks. You can ride dragons, but you can also ride glowing foxes called Carbuncles, or giant, fat baby chicks, or a car that looks like the fucking Batmobile. There are also mechs and little plane-ships and all manner of other things if you've got the cash to pay for them. I love that. I want that for the real world. I want people to be able to dress how they want and customize their homes and vehicles (safely, ofc) and not be judged or harmed for it. THAT is the future millennials want.

Another thing I liked was Keys's concept of a world with live A.I. that are constantly learning and changing, even when the players are absent. I love the idea of visiting a new world that humans created and just hanging out with the people in it.

However, when Millie told Guy he wasn't "real", that sort of misrepresents what reality actually is. What she meant was that he couldn't exist in her world, even though she could exist in his. Even if he had no intelligence, he would still be "real" for what he was. The world he exists in is still real. Code and machines are real, tangible things; they're not just imagination. They're concrete things that you can see and touch. Just because the virtual world wasn't created the same way ours was (probably; hopefully) doesn't mean it isn't "real". It doesn't cease to exist when you acknowledge it ("I think, therefore I am"). If the definition of personhood is sapience (intellect+empathy), then it doesn't matter whether that sapience is artificial or organic. The physical manifestation of the body is, similarly, not important; we have fleshy bodies full of blood, and A.I. have steely and plastic bodies full of electricity. The game is essentially just hosting Guy's mind; his body is a part of the servers on the bottom floor.

Which reminds me of something that, as a programmer, I had to really squint at in the game. There are a lot of things the movie gets right about programming, but there are a LOT of things it gets hilariously wrong, which isn't really a criticism as much as an observation. It's funny how infuriating a movie that incorporates your field can be, as I'm sure all medical workers well know. A lot of the visual representations of Keys and his partner, the husband from "Ghosts" (US version, whom I also hope to see a lot more of so I can remember his actual name) actually working on the game gives me 90s hacker movie vibes. That may have been at least partially intentional, but there are some points I really tilted my head at; like, the fact that you don't need to include a whole other game's worth of assets in order to steal its engine (there was literally no reason for the paradise game area to be in the new game, that is so much more data than is needed and would bog down the servers if it was just loaded in at all times and running the programming for an entire other environment that nobody was even going to use). Or, the fact that they had to load in a bridge to reach the other game world when a programmer could just remove the barrier with a few key presses. Or the fact that you wouldn't even need to see the paradise game area to prove that your boss (Taika Waititi; I am not sure if he is an actual asshole or just enjoys playing one) stole your game engine; there would literally be code you could view and read and be like "huh, this is identical to the code I wrote". Most of the time when developers get caught with stolen software, it's because the game's programming was leaked and the original authors were able to see with their own face-orbs that the code is a literal, line-for-line copy of what they themselves wrote.

There was a lot of cheese in this film too (not in the literal sense), which isn't necessarily bad, but the moments they chose to use it sort of undercut important emotional responses. When Millie kisses Guy to wake up his A.I. programming (again, very squicky plot point), the visual representation of his choice map was unnecessary and distracting because of how silly it looked. It was a little jarring, even for a movie that takes place in a universe where neon signs and iridescent coin bubbles are bouncing around.

I did like the ending for Taika Waititi's character, Antwan (who is basically the film's equivalent of EA), who made a bunch of stupid decisions in the interest of maximizing profits while alienating his entire consumer base, and then lost everything when the truth got out about his shitty business practices. If only that were more representative of the real world, but it does fill me with warm memories about the downfall of the XBOX One and subsequent firing of its lead developer, who called backwards compatibility "backwards thinking. We need more of that.

We see a lot of stories about the creation of these worlds, but I'd like to see some exploration of them too. I want to see what the relationship is like for these immortal game characters and their tragically mortal creators. I want to see the characters in the game learn about us, lose us and cope with the loss, and welcome new people and get accustomed to that rotation.

Anyway, the thing I liked the most about the movie is that it made me think.

Also!! Jacksepticeye was in the movie! That was very exciting to me, since I'm going through his catalog of LPs right now (I just got through Bloodborne and Elden Ring and I'm now watching God of War). If Markiplier had made even a moment's appearance, Free Guy would have been my de facto favorite movie. Honestly, in spite of not being particularly fabulous in a lot of ways, it's still in my top ten. I love, love, LOVE that they included real Youtubers in the movie. This is the first movie I have ever seen blend Youtubers and famous film actors. There were loads of big-name actors I recognized in the movie apart from Ryan and Taika; the Rock was in it, Jim-from-the-office was in it, Channing Tatum was in it, Hugh Jackman was fucking in it and I didn't even notice (I was fuming that his character wasn't more front-facing; I've been waiting forever to see him do a movie with Reynolds), fucking Chris Evans made a cameo. The actual Alex Trebek was in the Jeopardy scene. Tina Fey was there. And then they also had Pokimane, DanTDM, and LazarBeam (none of whom I watch, but I was still excited to see them) in the movie, which to me means that the mainstream is finally beginning to acknowledge that Youtubers are professional entertainers, writers, and actors on par with their traditional media counterparts, which is an important development for internet culture as those of us who make our living online can attest that the greater culture doesn't take our contributions seriously.

This is especially true for Youtubers, who often have a closer relationship with their fanbase. It feels special to see somebody you've been following for years finally be acknowledged in the mainstream. I wanted to run and tell Seán that I'd seen him in the movie, even though I'm sure he'd never see the message given that he has almost 30 million followers and subscribers on his channel. But like in Markiplier's case, I've been watching Mark since just before FNAF blew up and back then he still had kind of a lot of followers, but not so many that you couldn't touch him. He would read people's comments and reply, and he'd answer direct messages. It was cool to be there during that time, even though I never interacted with him personally. Even today, Mark interacts directly with his subscribers while he's streaming and it's like the touch of God to be acknowledged by somebody you have so much love and respect for. It's awesome to think you could be watching and talking to somebody right now who could be famous all over the world one day. It's cool to think it could even be you someday.

I also love that the name of the movie is a pun. Because Guy is a guy from Free World, but the movie is also about freeing Guy.

Anyway, if you haven't watched it then do so now and if you noticed anything I didn't feel free to point it out! I would love to discuss it more.

[thesffcorner]

Ready Player One Review

Ready Player One is a sci-fi action adventure film directed by Steven Spielberg and adapted from the Ernest Cline eponymous book. It follows Wade Watts, a teenager who lives in near future Earth that is plagued by massive overpopulation and resource crisis, and people spend most, if not all their lives in the virtual reality of the Oasis; a place where you can be anyone and do anything.

Wade is a gunter or a hunter for the easter egg that the Osasis’ creator Halliday has hidden somewhere in the Oasis that grants the entire proprietary rights of the Oasis to the first person who beats the three challenges and gets to the egg. The challenges are hidden in clues connected to Halliday’s life, childhood and most importantly, the pop culture and media Halliday absorbed all his life.

It’s been a long time since I read Ready Player One, and I remember it being one of those books with a cool premise, but an excruciatingly annoying main character, dull romance, and lots of references to stuff I too grew up with, which were the coolest thing when I was like... 15-16 when I read the book. However, as I’ve grown older, more and more things about the book started bothering me; the lack of mention on any media that might have been made for and enjoyed by girls, the poor world-building, the focus on gate-keeping, memorizing and regurgitating pop culture instead of engaging and understanding it, the lack of meaningful consequences for the real world, the weird underlying homophobia and of course the romance. But I’m not here to discuss the book; I’m here to talk about the movie and in my humble opinion it is by far the superior version.

Steven Spielberg, for all his faults as a director knows how to make an entertaining film that will tug at your heartstrings. In many way that’s the message he derives from Halliday’s contest and pushes as front and center here; the whole point of the Oasis is the fun and creativity people exhibit in it, the love and joy of playing games and friendly competition. This is a man who loves film and the art of film-making and takes great joy in bringing this world to life, and it’s apparent from every scene in the film.

From the levitating ballroom, to Mount Doom, to the brief glimpse at Minecraft World, Spielberg makes sure to make the Oasis as grand and impressive as possible, a place where people really would like to spend most of their time. Helped by the technology being advanced enough to allow for tactile feeling with gloves and full body suits, and it was like a less extreme version of the technology in SAO (which isn’t the only comparison I’ll make to that show, just you wait), but the entire look and feel of the technology was so close to what we already have that I had to enjoy it. The VR goggles and helmets, the gloves, the gaming rigs, drones, cameras, tablets; honestly there is no better time to adapt this book than now, when the gaming world is actually undergoing a VR resurgence as the technology becomes more accessible and sophisticated. I was very impressed with Spielberg and his crew for keeping such good tabs on what would be a realistic enhancements to this technology and it made that side of the world building that much more believable.

Spielberg is an excellent visual storyteller, and my favorite example of this is Wade making his way down from his trailer in the Stacks to his van/rig/set up. The way he climbs down from the various stacked vans and trailers was an excellent way to show how these people live, even if I am having a hard time believing the Stacks as a real place. That’s kind of a problem with the world building; the real world doesn’t feel that realistic. How come all these people who live in trailers stacked on top of each other in what is presumably a semi-legal establishment afford or even just get internet that is fast and stable enough to endure the connection that the Oasis would require? Do none of these people have jobs or lives outside of being jacked into the Oasis?

Then there are things about the Oasis that I found kind of unbelievable. This is a place where you can build anything and be anyone; the only limit is the human imagination (since there don’t seem to be any software or hardware restrictions). And yet, not only are people’s avatars the most boring ones possible (like ok, I’ll believe that there would be 7 Master Chiefs, but no one wanted to be Lara Croft? Darth Vader? Any Dark Souls character? A meme?), and even the original designs are so uninspired! Wade’s avatar is literary a half-Naavi, half-anime version of himself, which in fairness fits with his boring personality, but he already has the name Percival; why not give him a knight design? You know like Artorias, or Lothar? 

Artemis’ design is equally boring, a pink anime style pixie And of course, the two Asian characters’ Daito and Sho are a samurai and ninja respectively. The only character design I found both creative and fitting to the character was H, even if she did look like Cratos and an Uruk-Hai had a child.

This lack of creativity applies to the Oasis itself, and while I can’t entirely blame it on Spielberg, it’s still exacerbated by his direction. All the worlds we visit were expected; a big dance club with a gimmick. A race track. You bet your ass that if WB had the rights to Star Wars or Destiny the ending would have been an awesome space battle, but instead we are stuck with the most boring version of Mount Doom. We also don’t get to see many worlds either, because we are following Halliday’s easter egg hunt, which is entirely tied to his life, so there is only so much leeway the filmmakers have to make it creative. 

The challenges are one aspect that I do think were done right. The race was expected, but the trick to winning was really clever and an actual callback to a gaming trick (though Spielberg over-explains it to the point of meaninglessness). The challenge was compared to me to the Clockwork Mansion Level in Dishonored, and while in premise they are similar, RPO doesn’t take advantage of it, and the execution is pedestrian. 

The second challenge is the most involved and creative one, and it was a blast to watch. I won’t spoil anything about it, but just know that it alone is worth the admission price. 

The third challenge is split between the final battle Nolan and Wade’s forces, and the actual challenge; playing a perfect game. Again, I loved the twist and I won’t spoil it; it was creative and made me very emotional as a little bit of history about the development of arcade games. 

Now, let’s talk about this film’s biggest failure; characters and writing. I know a lot of people won’t care about either; they are here to watch how many references can be cramped into a 90 min run-time. I’m not that person; I want to see a good story and Ready Player One is as basic as it gets. 

Wade Watts is the most boring protagonist I have seen since Bella Swan. He has no personality, no charisma and the only reason we follow him instead of ANY of the more interesting characters around him, is because he knows the most about Halliday. I like that the film tries to explain that he not only knows most, but also UNDERSTANDS Halliday the best out of everyone, which is why he can beat the challenges (and a common criticism of book Wade who just... memorizes the most like studying for a test) but this is just another wasted opportunity to explore why Wade and Halliday are so similar and maybe give Wade an actual struggle to deal with social anxiety and difficulty relating to people. 

Instead, he meets a hot avatar of presumably a hot chick and falls in love with her, IMMEDIATELY. I hated this in the book two, and the film does mitigate a lot of the worse aspects of Samantha and Wade’s relationship, but this aspect alone made me cringe. Again, what a missed opportunity to play around with gender and expectations, to maybe make Wade’s foolishness have consequences, or have him face his own prejudices. Instead Art3mis really is just a hot white chick, who they have the gall to give the thinnest of reasons to be sad because she has a FUCKING BIRTHMARK over her eye that looks like smudged make up. This was worse than Gerard Butler Phantom, or Alex Petyfer’s make up in Beastly. 

To make matters worse, Art3mis is so much better, more interesting and developed and has an actual real world reason to want to find Halliday’s egg, other than just wanting to be the very best or whatever Wade’s motivation is. That’s another big problem; he doesn’t have motivation to want to win other than he’s just the main character and he has to. This wasn’t as egregious as in the Lego Movie where Wyldstyle is literary so much better than Benny, but it was close to it. 

The only time the movie gets creative is with H, who is in fact Hellen and she was the best character here, hands down. She is cool, she can mod anything in the game, she drives a sick van, she is scared of horror films... can we just have another Ready Player One but with Hellen as the main character? 

Sho and Daito were interesting, but they do this really weird thing with Daito where... I don’t know if he like... meditates? Because he’s Japanese and that’s what Japanese people do before battle? And of course he knows karate in the real world, why wouldn’t he,... did I mention he’s Japanese? Maybe if you bothered to give him more than 2 lines of dialogue and 1 admittedly cool scene towards the end he wouldn’t be this much of a stereotype. 

And then we get to the villains... oh the villains. 

I just want the record to state, that I frickin love Ben Mendleson. He will play any terrible villain role and make it AMAZING and here is no different. He plays the CEO of IOI, a just.., plain evil corporation who wants control of the Oasis so he can put in ads, loot boxes and micro transactions. As far as stakes are concerned that’s pretty low, but what makes his character hilarious is how far he’s willing to go and break the law to get this. We’re talking hiring a militia to blow up the Stacks and kill Wade’s aunt and hunt down an actual real life resistance to arrest and imprison people there for debt. I... what? 

Nolan’s actual character was fun (I liked that his design was like a weird mix between Lex Luthor and Clark Kent) as he is an older man who has the best rig in the world, but has to write down his password to log in. His sidekick is I-R0k, played by TJ Miller who has all the best and funnies lines and a legitimately cool looking WoW inspired character design. But IOI... I was on board until they started killing people over access to proprietary software! 

Another issue I had with the film was how bad most of the dialogue was. There are entire sections that are just full of exposition that we don’t need. The two worst examples are Wade’s voice over at the start of the film that runs over that great scene I mentioned of him leaving his trailer in the Stacks. Another, even worse one is when he is walking next to the Curator who explains how to access Halliday’s memories after literary saying not even a min ago that WADE KNOWS ALL THIS AND IS THE MOST FREQUENT VISITOR IN THE MUSEUM. 

The twist in the first challenge? I really want to hammer home how bad the writing is in this film, so I’ll spoil it. Skip this paragraph if you care. 

The twist is an old school game thing; when you spawn in a level run in the direction opposite to what you’re facing to find either some hidden loot, or a shortcut, or a bonus. The hint is, Halliday saying why can’t we go back, just once. But then they HAMMER IT HOME by having Halliday say go back in time, go backwards, just once, really fast, like Bill and Ted. Like... we get it!

The problem with that type of referential humor and writing is that it only works if you know how to do it. You make the reference and whoever catches it, catches it. The people who didn’t won’t appreciate it if you explain it to them any more than they would have not knowing, and the people who did catch it and know it will get annoyed that you are treating them like idiots by going see guys? That was a reference! Did you catch it?

I have so much more to say about this movie, but I hope this was enough. I do recommend watching it so you can make up your own mind about it. But I think Film Brain put it best in his review; if you liked the book or just the idea of seeing this movie, go watch it and you will probably love it. If you didn’t... this movie won’t change your mind. 

[tyranttortoise]

Imagine Masterlist for Mobile

SSLL Extras/HC’s: *Separate Masterlist because this one got too long

Quizzes: *Which Skelebae is Perfect for You? (1500 milestone) *Which Skelebae Would Take You to the Bone Zone? (NSFW quiz) *Which Skelebae Would Be Your Cuddle Buddy?  (Valentine’s gift)

Quiz Result Break-downs: * Swapfell Papyrus as a skelebae * Horrortale Sans as a skelebae * Underfell Sans as a skelebae * Underswap Papyrus as a skelebae

Deltarune Imagines/Headcanons: *Sans theory

Outertale: *Interactive reader-insert through the AU (3000 milestone)

Undertale Sans Solo Imagines: * Fridge filled with Spicy Ketchup * Sans the Anatomy Professor   * Sans’s preferences: pajamas vs lingerie  * Making an ass out of your ex  * Spaghetti Spa Day

Undertale Genocide drabbles: * let me disappoint you  *they hate puzzles 

Underfell Sans Solo Imagines: * Lap-sitting and tooth licking  * Bruised boobs just kinda happen  * We maid a bet   * Artistic Nudity   * Choosetale: Dating Sim Go! (500 milestone)   * Stuffed Nightmares (fic-swap)   *i can do math, just subtract the clothes (fic swap)  * Red’s blackbelt S/O flips Edge.   * Whipped cream on his ribs  (RedRobin) * spank you (RedRobin)    * Houseparty Heroes (song fic)

Underfell Papyrus Solo Imagines:  * Fluff/Dating Headcanons  *Walks in on his crush changing  * Slips into speaking informally like Sans   * Icy Roads, Warm Bed

Underswap Sans Solo Imagines:  * Biker!Blueberry // Impressing the biker chick

Underswap Papyrus Solo Imagines: * it’s ok to not be ok   * Stretch gets an x-ray   * Couch cuddles  * Pocky Day (11/11)  * Hanahaki Disease * S/O is insecure about being overweight

Swapfell Brothers Solo Imagines: * Who wants a mutt drooling after them?  (SF!Paps) * Alleyway Confession (Raffle Winner one-shot) (SF!Paps) * HC’s and backstory of the SF!bros  * What kind of bed does SF!Sans have? * drunk off your kiss (SF!Paps as a bartender) *Gyftmas in Swapfell *SF!Sans headcanons *Why the SF bros have more LV than the UF bros

Gaster!Sans Solo Imagines: * Headcanons and BPT notes   * Relationship HC’s   * Handcuffed to a bed  (BadSass G)   * Proposal Time (BadSass G) * Why he stayed��(BadSass G)

Horrortale Skelebros: * A little drabble of personality and backstory exploration   * HT!Sans: *i remember the taste   * Happy birthday!   * HT!Sans and a chubby S/O   * HT!Paps and love bites   * Horrortale Dog Shrine * Horrortale Papyrus/Reader Gyftmas drabble

Horrorswap Skelebros: *General HC’s for HS!Stretch and HS!Blueberry  

Horrorfell Skelebros: * General HC’s for HF!Red and HF!Edge  

Dusttale Headcanons: * LOVE is madness  * Dust!Sans meets Undertale Sans  

Underlust Skelebros: *What would make them want an actual relationship? Oceantale/fell Skelebros: * General HC’s for the AU’s and skelebros   * Oceanfell: A Siren’s Song

Nukatale HC’s/Writing: *Info about the AU (Fallout/Undertale crossover) *Meeting Sans Skeleton (Sans as Nick Valentine)

Obey Me Skeletons: *The skeles as demonic avatars

Extras for Broken Promises and Timelines: * Chapter 11: Underlust Sans   * Why do all the Sans-personalities go for the Reader? * How did Red end up in the Void? * What if she had still been in love with classic Sans?

Zodiac Signs: *Skelebro zodiac (UT/UF/US/SF/Gaster/G!Sans)

SOUL Flowers: *List of SOUL flowers and symbolism for skelebros *Landlady’s SOUL flower

Skelebros’ Thoughts on Each Other: * UT! Sans & Pap’s thoughts on UF!bros and HT!bros

Skelebros and Alcohol: *How much do the skelebros drink?

Skelebros Deal with RESETs: * Waking up from nightmares

Best Friends with the Skelebros: *US/SF Papyrus platonic hc’s *UT/UF Sans platonic hc’s * First time they get a platonic “I love you” (UT/UF/US/SF/HT)

The Skelebros’ Crush Says Some Weird Things: * Crush thinks puns are a sign of intelligence  * Crush mentions that they sleep nude  (UT/US/UF)   * S/O has a party for their cat (UT/UF Sans) * S/O drinks vinegar * S/O says bones are dissolving from excessive soda intake (UT/UF bros) The Skelebros Mistaken as the Grim Reaper: * UT!Sans and UF!Sans wear a black hoodie   * US!Papyrus and SF!Papyrus wear a black hoodie  * UT!Papyrus and UF!Papyrus wear a black hoodie * Turns out, the human’s not afraid of Death

The Skelebros are Comforting:   * Just needed a hug (w/ UT!Sans, UF!Sans, and US!Paps)  * Needed a hug (w/G!Sans) * Drunken insecurities and the almost break-up  * S/O has insomnia (w/UF!Sans and US!Papyrus)    * The S/O is NB and on the brink of a rough day (w/US!Papyrus)   * S/O hides the fact that they’re trans (w/UT!Paps)   * Comforting Cuddles (UT/UF Sans & SF!Paps)   * S/O is nervous about having surgery  (UT/UF/US) *S/O is nervous about having surgery (SF) * Lonely Dialer (UF/US skelebros)   * Skelebros and cuddles (UT/UF/US/SF/HT)   * Encouragement (w/G!Sans)   * The skelebros with an S/O that has cancer (UT/UF)  * Encouragement (w/Papyrus)   * Dealing with a loved one’s declining health (US/UT Paps & UF!Sans)

The Skelebros and X-rays: * Learning the Positions (G!Sans) * Learning the Positions (UF!Sans & US!Paps)    * Skelebros see their S/O’s X-ray (UT/UF/US)

The Skelebros and Dating:   * Confession: Start!   * First Kiss   * First Kiss Bonus with G!Sans * Celebrating the S/O’s birthday   * S/O is polyamorous  * Skelebros submit a match request on tumblr   * Skelebros and pet-names   * Skelebros deal with their S/O’s bestie flirting with their S/O   * S/O is demisexual (w/G!Sans & Gaster)   * How much experience do the skelebros have?   * S/O starts their period (UT/UF bros)   * S/O starts their period (HT!bros) * What does Edge look for in a partner? * S/O enjoys a popsicle (UT/UF/US)   * S/O has a terrible sense of direction (UT/UF/US) * What SOUL traits are the skelebros attracted to? * S/O blurts “I love you” for the first time (Sans personalities) * Skelebros’ crush has feelings for someone else (UT/UF/US/SF) * The Skelebros’ Love Languages (UT/UF Sans, HT!bros) * Which skelebros would be the best kissers for a dominant S/O * The skelebro proposes (UF Sans/ SF Pap)

The Skelebros and Soulmates: *S/O is not the skele’s soulmate (UT/UF/US/SF) *S/O is not the soulmate (retake with  UF Paps/SF Sans) *Frisk as Sans’s soulmate (Classic Frans) *Sanses are soulmates with their bro’s s/o (UT/UF/US/SF)

Family Dinner with the S/O’s Ex: * Family Dinner with the S/O’s Ex (UT/UF/US) * Family Dinner Bonus with SF!bros   * Family Dinner Bonus with Reapertale Sans  * Family Dinner Bonus with Grillby (UT/UF/US/SF)

Accidentally Seen Shirtless/Wardrobe Malfunction: * Skelebros seen shirtless for the first time (UT/US/UF)  * (SF!) Skelebros seen shirtless * Grillby (UT! & UF!) seen shirtless for the first time  * Burgerpants spotted without pants *Gaster!Sans seen shirtless

The Skelebros Enjoy the Surface:  * A few Post-Pacifist Surface HC’s  * First time at a human fair  * UF! Cast at Six Flags     * Skelebros with a massive container or ketchup/mustard   * Skelebros’ favorite flavors of Nicecream  

The Skelebros and Swearing: *The Sanses swear  

The Skelebros and Tattoos: * Their thoughts on their S/O’s Ink

Spending Time at the Skelebros’ House: * Horror Movie Marathon  * S/O twitches in their sleep (UT/US bros) * Watching a movie with crush and a steamy scene appears (UF/US bros)

Holidays with the Skelebros:  * Discovering Halloween Decorations  * Skelebros sexy skeleton costume preferences  * New Years Kiss Tradition (UT/UF/US/SF) * New Years Kiss Tradition (HT/OF)

The S/O is a Badass Saga: * Customer Service and a Broken Nose   * Roller Derby and the Black Eye   * Bonus to Customer Service & Roller Derby (w/Swapfell bros, UF!Grillbz, and Burgerpants)

The S/O is an Alien:  * S/O claims they’re out of this world  * Why didn’t the bros check their SOUL?  * The Alien’s Judgement  * Red gets spacenapped by Yandere!alien ex

The Skelebros deal with the supernatural:  * Their friend’s a physical embodiment of time, death, etc. (w/ US/SF bros & SF!Grillbz)

The S/O has hidden talents:  * The skelebros love their singing

The S/O has an Identical Twin?!: * The skelebros accidentally kiss said twin

Reactions to Someone Flirting with S/O: * UF!Sans, UF!Paps, and UF!Grillby   * SF!Sans and SF!Paps  * UF!Grillby solo

Skelebros & Marriage: * S/O has a pushy mother

Skelebros as Parents: * Discovering the details of childbirth   * Discovering human S/O is Pregnant    * What would a hybrid babybones look like? * Skelebros as dads // Child has a tantrum  * Monster babies/hybrid conception headcanons   * Which skelebros would want kids   * Discovering crush is pregnant with ex’s baby (UT/US Sans, UF/SF Paps)

Grillby Imagines: * UT!Grillby Dating HC’s    * S/O defends Fuku (UT/UF/HT Grillby)  * UF!Grillby/Reader Gyftmas drabble

SOUL headcanons:  * SOUL HC’s   * dual-SOUL trait HC’s 

Imagines/HCs not involving the skelebros: * Gaster HC's    * Expanded Gaster HC’s * Napstablook gets called cute  * Burgerpants HC’s   * Various characters encounter a tortoise   * Self-ship HC’s   * Monsters and socks  

Drabble Prompts: * Empress Alphys Ending of Underswap Interpretation   * UT crew plays Beanboozled   * US!bros and UF!bros play Beanboozled   * Yandere!Route, Starry Date (Frans)   * Napstaton x aerial silk acrobat Reader (raffle winner)

Coffee Thanks: * Frans Coffee Drabble   * G!Sans Coffee   * Axe Coffee   * Skeletons on a Plane (SF!Paps/Reader)

Poly Imagines/HC’s: * Edge/Blueberry/You hc’s * Nyx’s SassyRottenBerryG birthday drabble  * HoneyMustardTortoise hc’s

Fontcest Imagines: * i fell in love with you, not people (SpicyHoney angst meme)  * EdgyBerry (UF!Papyrus/US!Sans) hc’s   * cupid (honeyketchup drabble) * it’d be better if i had music to strip to (kustard)

NSFW Imagines: * S/O’s first time + HCs for the skeles as lovers  *S/O’s first time + sexual HC’s (HT!bros) * How the skeles scale on the BDSM test + kink HC’s  * S/O’s had bad past experiences with sex (UF!Sans, US/SF Paps) *S/O’s had bad past experiences with sex (UT!Sans)   * Heat Cycle headcanons (UT!Sans & Papyrus)   * Heat Cycle headcanons (UF!Sans &Papyrus)  * Heat Cycle headcanons (US!Sans &Papyrus) * Heat Cycle headcanons (SF!Sans&Papyrus + G!Sans) * Heat Cycle headcanons (HT!Sans & Papyrus) * Heat Cycle headcanons (OF!Sans & Papyrus) * light BDSM with UF!Sans (fic swap)   * What the skelebros want to be called during sexy times   * Are the skelebros boob or butt guys?   * UF!Sans discovering his S/O is trans (f to m)   * Gaster and G!Sans: Holes in their hands    * Sans has bad timing (Expanded Holes in their hands ask) * Skelebros and handcuffs * Sans/Reader birthday drabble for Banana * Skeletons in a Friends with Benefits Situation (UT/UF/US/HT/SF) * Mutt recites the periodic table

[uneven-odds]

ASK

annnnd another one from @promisedmistake, you must hate me :D <3 Film/TV Asks 1. Talk about your favorite film of all time (or one of them).  -my favourite film of all the time is The Great Gatsby. I love how they turned the book in this movie. Everything is just soo harmonic. The music, the costumes and the visual effects are brilliant. I also really love that they used new pop music for this old story. Also I really love Leonardo Di Caprio soo. 2. Talk about your favorite tv show of all time (or one of them) . -You don´t want me to talk about my all time favorite tv show because than this post will never end. But I will try to cut it short. Really short. Hannibal is brilliant. The story, the characters, the plot twists, the visual effects, the music...everything is just so damn good timed and beautiful. I also really love the chemistry between Will and Hannibal...like they care about each other so much. And their hate/love relationship is the best. I swear I could watch it the whole damn time. It´s just so perfect. Bryan Fuller and the cast did a really good job. 3. Talk about a movie, or an aspect of one that you think people don’t get or misunderstand. -I think the thing about The Great Gatsby, that he is so full of hope and dreams and that he will do everything to fullfill them is an aspect that many people don´t get. And I think that´s  also the reason why they think the movie is boring. 4. Talk about a film you think is underrated. -I think the movie Deepwater Horizon is underrated. Like it´s soo good and nobody talks about it? It was so interesting to see how everything came together and how this catastrophe happend. I also enjoyed to see how a drilling rig is working. I also really liked how the movie shows how awful and greedy for money humans are. How humans will do everything as long as they can make money from it. And I use the word also really often. 5. Talk about a film you think is overrated. Avatar from James Cameron. I just really don´t like it and I don´t get the hype. Idk. 6. Talk about a show you think is underrated. -I think the Path is underrated. I mean I get it not everybody likes this topic (me included) but it is really good. I was suprised that I liked it this much because the summary sounded boring but here I am in love with this show. (maybe I like it a bit more because of Hugh Bae Dancy). I like how everything is falling apart, the dynamic from this show is also really great and the plot twist are awesome. I really want to watch more rn, but I need to answer this questions first. Also Aaron Paul and Hugh Dancy are fucking awesome. And I love Cal. He is an asshole but I love it. 7. Talk about a show you think is overrated. So this is only my opinion but I don´t get the hype about American Gods?  I mean the first episode was pretty good but after this? For me it was so lame and boring. Nothing surprised me, it was kinda lame, too long and idk. I just don´t liked it.  8. Talk about a movie you love. I already talked about in in 1. 9. Talk about a movie you hate. Ugh..I really hate dirty grandpa? Like wtf was this shit? THAT wasn´t funny. Not even a little bit and the story was also really shit. I don´t even want to talk about it so I will stop here. 10. Talk about a show you love. Just one word and you will know it: Hannibal. 11. Talk about a show you hate.  did this in question 7. 12. Talk about a performance you love.  Leonardo Di Caprio in The Revenant. I loved everything in this performance from him. I had the feeling, that I could feel everything that he felt in this moment.It was just so good. and I really just love him so yeah. 13. Talk about a performance you hate.  I don´t have a performance that I hate.  14. Talk about a character, from film or television, that you relate to a lot?   Will Graham is my spirit animal. Because he is so antisocial af, he hates humans and he loves animals more than humans...this is so me. He is also so sensitive and is overthinking all the time..soo yeah I can relate so much to him.  15. What’s a movie you expected to like/love but ended up disliking? Passengers. I was so excited for this movie and in the end I  was so disappointed 16.   A movie you didn’t expect to like but ended up loving?  A Dog’s Purpose. I cried 3 times and I loved it. 17. A show you loved at first but ended up disliking by the end?   Teen Wolf. It makes me sad, that it got so bad... 18. What was the first movie or show that made you cry?   message in a bottle.  19. What was the last movie you saw in the theater?   A monster calls. 20. What was the last movie or show that made you cry?  Movie: A Dog´s Purpose Show: Hannibal 21. Talk about a specific nightmare that a movie or show gave you.  I don´t have one. Or I can´t remember. 22. What do you think is the funniest movie ever made? White Chicks. I love this movie 23. What do you think is the saddest movie ever made?   Life as a house. 24. What do you think is the scariest movie ever made?   Ugh...Paranormal activity. 25. What do you think is the funniest show ever? (you can pick a specific episode if you want)  I don´t watch funny shows.  26. What do you think is the saddest show ever?   at the moment: 13 reasons why 27. What do you think is the best adaptation of a book? (film or TV)   The Great Gatsby 28. What do you think is the worst adaptation of a book?   The Twillight Series. 29. What do you think is the most well shot film or show?   Game of thrones 30. What’s a movie or show you love but often forget about? Breaking Bad.  

[isaac-not-a-bot]

“Did she call him to make a reservation?”

“Why what’s in your office?”

“When did you take a picture of your daughter for a passport?”

“We keep money in a fucking scarf box! What?”

“Look at the scissors! Why?”

“Hashtag Turkey time!”

“Go on a fishing trip in the middle of winter.”

“HES A FIRE BENDER TOO! RAMI! *Whispering* He is the Avatar! He just needs to throw a rock!”

“There’s only one tent? Why is everyone outside?”

“Yeah, way to go Edward.”

“You’re welcome bro.”

“Who took this picture? Did you print it off at your house?”

“Dramatic. Landscape shots.”

“Aren’t they cold? No. They’re the undead. Never mind.”

“Aww. Undead undying love.”

“They brought matching costumes. At least they’re warm. Like dementors!”

“That’s a lot of red contacts they had to order.”

“Oh the puppies are here! Bark bork!”

“They’re dressed like My Chemical Romance. The black parade on ice!”

“Yeah. She’s MY demon seed.”

“Well look at you. Now she’s an expert? Oh guess not. You’re passed her radius!”

“I can see you fuckin’!”

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT LAUGH?!”

“Oh she has a line! What is that hand? That can’t be her hand!”

“Can you believe?!”

“Yeah this chick she- I don’t understand her role in this.”

“Maggie Grace is on fire!”

“Where’s Jasper?! He could’ve calmed their moods.”

“Look at Renesme just looking at her like,’Mom what are you doing?’”

“So her radius is about 7 ft.”

“That guy is so over everything!”

“Michael Sheen is like,’Keep your vape tricks to yourself.’”

“You know Rami could like cut a hole [in the ice] and they’d all fall in.”

“We were waiting in the trees until there was an appropriate time.”

“WHY YOU SLAPPIN JASPER?!”

“Not gonna show the audience.”

“Away to where? You’re on a fucking lake?”

“Thank you Carlisle. Everyone else keep doing fucking nothing.”

“I don’t remember that happening! Did that happen in the book?!”

“WHAT?! That doesn’t HAPPEN IN THE BOOK EITHER!”

She’s now clutching the blanket and wailing.

“She’s got a weird dog whistle. NO PUPPY! AWOOO! Aww Jacob is so sad HE CANT DO IT!”

“Thank you bender!”

*Wilhelm scream* *laughs*

“Now there’s LAVA?!”

“Dakota Fanning is really upset right now. She’s like bring it. Bring it on.”

“Whose HAND IS THAT? WHOSE HAND IS THAT?”

“Do the thing! OH Gross!”

“Catch me! *Laughs* IS HE THROWING HIS WIFE AT HIM? Yup. Sure did!”

“Oh are you shitting me! That wasn’t even real? I’m done.”

“Who? What?...Why?”

“Poor vlad.”

“Everyone’s alive! Except your sister. And no dogs were harmed in the making of this movie.”

“I WANNA SEE EVERYONE GLITTER RIGHT NOW!”

“Weird. Son in law. Dear old uncle Jacob.”

“So she only had one line in this whole movie?”

“Weird. OH WEIRD! What a great little happy family.”

“But Charlie! Where’s Charlie!”

“Why aren’t they sparkling! They’re in the sun!”

“Remember when you were naked in Italy? Remember when I was human? Edward, you were here for all of that!”

“WHY ARENT THEY SPARKLING?!”

“More credits because we forgot everybody. These are all the ‘non important’ people we couldn’t put in the beginning.”

“You look like Kelly Rippa.”

“That girl got replaced are they gonna still show her?”

“These are like the credits for the whole thing.”

“Remember all these people that weren’t even in the first part gotta throw them back in.”

“CHARLIE! Oooh!”

“I’m Edward Cullen. Waddup.”

“Don’t forget this is Breaking Dawn. And this has been the Twilight saga.”

“Green Day? Fuck really?”

The End.

Things my wife says

During Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2