#like peace and love s4 came out years ago but like

[wildlyfreemoon]

i NEED daryl and michonne scenes between season 3 and 4... like wtf do you mean when you just subtly drop they did runs together and show me NONE of it??? two of the best characters being best buds and youre going to dangle it in front of me like a carrot??

[talanashta]

There's Too Many People On This Bed!

For @polyamships September prompt "bedroom" and this prompt for the Four or More Fic-a-thon @fourormore

Rating: T | No CWs | Word Count: 707 | Pairings: Spicy Six Plus Chrissy Polycule Additional Tags: Steve's POV

This is the 1st part in what is going to be a post-S4 series about all of them; I've still got to think of a name for it [edit: the title is "my lonely days are gone". The rest of the series will be tagged with this too]

Once everyone started moving into the house, Steve had done a huge overhaul of most of the living spaces. Max needed a ground-floor, wheelchair-accessible bedroom; the young adults needed enough space to spread out when they didn’t want to be all over each other; and Steve needed a bigger bed in his room.

Well, his room needed a lot of things. The first thing Robin made him do was get rid of the plaid-on-plaid aesthetic he’d had since childhood.

“I picked it out when I was seven, Robs. Seven! Please stop getting on my case about it,” Steve pleaded.

“That means you’ve had thirteen years to change it since, and clearly, you haven’t,” she told him.

So, the wallpaper got torn down and replaced with a nice, neutral, striped wallpaper that promptly got covered in four people’s worth of wall decor. Chrissy and Robin put polaroids and mementos up, Eddie put up a few band posters and hung his guitars, and Steve just put up a mirror. What could he say, he was a simple guy.

The bed got swapped for a king-sized now that they were trying to sleep four people in there. Most days (especially when Eddie was being a bed hog), it was still a tight squeeze, but Steve wouldn’t have it any other way.

He’d spent most of his childhood and teen years in this house feeling lonely, but now it was so full of life, he didn’t get a moment’s peace. The kids were in and out at all hours of the day, all the young adults of the Party lived here, and the older adults would come over every once in a while for barbecues and family dinners and parties.

He’d never felt so loved and cared about. Most nights in their new bed, all four of them would cram in like sardines, protecting each other from the nightmares that came from everything they’d been through.

The bed sharing had started a long time ago as just him and Robin having sleepovers when they could get away with it. They couldn’t bear to be parted for too long. After spring break and Vecna, slowly Eddie and (occasionally, when she could get away from her mother) Chrissy would join them, until, after graduation, both decided to move in full time.

However, sometimes there were snags in the bed sharing. Like tonight, when Steve woke up to the sound of someone trying to open the bedroom door quietly. He blearily opened his eyes and looked to see Argyle standing in the doorway.

“Hey, brochacho,” he whispered to Steve. “Can I join you guys? I’m having a hard time sleeping with Jon and Nancy out of town.”

Steve just nodded at him, pulled Eddie closer to free up the edge of the bed, and went back to sleep.

Only to wake up just a short while later to an elbow in the ribs.

After he rearranged Robin’s limbs to be less jabby, he dozed off again.

Only to wake up again, this time with Eddie half on top of him, and not in a nice snuggly way, in a trying-to-smother-him way.

Okay, so he got Eddie readjusted and fell asleep again.

He gave up after he woke up a third time with Argyle’s hair in his mouth. Wasn’t Eddie between them? He looked for Eddie, only to find him wiggled about halfway down the bed with his face buried in Argyle’s stomach.

Steve let out a deep sigh and slowly maneuvered himself out of bed. He tip-toed across the hall to what Eddie called the Sex Dungeon, but was really just a spare bedroom that they would use to not sexile anyone from their actual bedroom.

There, Steve sprawled out on the bed, limbs askew. He sighed again, this time in relief, and dozed off, enjoying having this much bed space to himself.

And woke up again when Robin flopped herself on top of him.

“Missed you, dingus,” he heard her mutter, already most of the way back to sleep.

Steve just stared at the ceiling for far too long, before giving up on sleep for the night and holding Robin for the last hour or so until it was time to get up.

Read the Next Part in the Series

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

To Be Loved

Summary; Steve loves Nancy, yn loves Steve. Then Billy comes along and feelings are shaken up.

Warnings; Angst, Jealousy, unrequited feelings or are they? Swearing. Fluff. Buckle up, this is a long fic.

This is my first story after my break, please be patient with me while I begin my writing journey once more 💕

I don't give permission for anyone to copy my work.

If you enjoyed this story then please consider leaving a wee like, comment or reblog. ❤️

Billy is alive so not s4 compliant.

When she was very young yn dreamed of a Prince Charming to whisk her away from Hawkins and to live a happy ever after.

Of course, as the years passed she grew disillusioned with the idea and thought them to be childish hopes, even if somewhere deep down she was still waiting for her charming man- she would never admit to it.

Then over a year ago, Steve Harrington came into her life unexpectedly, he was no longer King Steve, he was kinder and sweeter and he became her friend.

They met through Dustin Henderson, she was his babysitter even though he grumbled about being too old to need a babysitter he was a great kid.

The fact that Dustin and Steve became friends and had a brotherly bond warmed her heart.

Seeing him be so sweet with Dustin was one of the reasons she began to fall for Steve.

Not that it mattered because he was head over heels in love with Nancy Wheeler, Nancy who was perfect and could do no wrong, was badass and smart as a whip.

Then came his crush on Robin and then hookups with different girls than his feelings for Nancy came roaring back to the surface and they had started dating again.

That's when she realised that Steve would never notice her the way she wanted him to.

Over the last month, she had begun dating Billy Hargrove. The events over the summer had shown him in a different light, he was still arrogant at times, but he had finally started acting like a decent big brother to Max and apologised for his previous behaviour.

She believed in second chances and decided to give Billy one. If he ruined that chance then there wouldn't be another.

Max knew and she wasn't thrilled about it.

"Billy will break your heart, you know that right? Just because he's stopped being a shithead, for now, doesn't mean it will last forever"

"I know that Max. I'll be careful okay?" this appeased the redhead only slightly.

"Have you told Steve and Robin about Billy? can't wait to be there for that conversation"

Max had her there because no she hadn't told Robin or Steve, especially not Steve. After all, he hated Billy (with very good reason) and vice versa.

"No but I will alright?" Max huffs then eyes her scrutinizingly.

"This has nothing to do with Steve and Nancy, right? The fact that you spent a whole weekend crying in your room when you found out they got back together?"

How did she know... Dustin told her! That little shit!

"It's nothing to do with Steve" she murmurs and looks away from Max. Was her crush that obvious that everyone knew of it?

💕💕

Her shift with Robin was peaceful that night but guilt weighed on her that she hadn't told Robin about Billy.

It turns out that the decision was taken out of her hands that night when Billy picked her up after work for their date.

Robin gaped between the two of them as Billy's arm slipped around her waist.

"Omg Billy is your new boyfriend. I was so sure it was Eddie Munson or someone like that...

"Steve is gonna freak when he finds out, I'm kinda hurt you never told me but woah! Steve is gonna be mad" she said in such a rush that yn told her to take a breath.

Billy rolls his eyes and stamps out a cigarette he was smoking.

"Steve her keeper or something? She doesn't need permission on who to date. Like Steve can talk when he's dating Little Miss priss, Nancy Wheeler" she frowns at Billy who shrugs.

"You coming or not babe?" she nods quickly talking to Robin.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you okay? I was nervous about how you would react. I promise I'll tell Steve" Robin nods but still looks anxious.

"I have a bad feeling about this" Robin grimaces and that warning hangs in the air as she gets in the car with Billy.

❤️❤️

Back to the future was playing at the local cinema but Billy was persuading her to see a Evil Dead.

"Come on babe. I've not seen it yet, kinda had more shit to deal with in the summer" she softens a bit, wishing he would open up about what he went through due to the Mindflayer, was he still having nightmares?

She touches his shoulder and doesn't see Nancy behind them. Nancy's eyes widen and she tries to school her features into a blank expression as Steve joins her with their tickets.

"You okay?" Nancy nods but can't help but sneak another glance at Billy with yn. When did that happen? Steve never mentioned it and she is sure he would considering the fact he hated Billy.

Now one of his best friends was dating the guy... awkward.

It turns out that Steve doesn't know about them dating because the minute he sees Billy and yn together, Billy with his arms around the girl's waist, Steve marches over to them both.

❤️

"What the fuck? You're dating him" as soon as she hears Steves's enraged voice she feels her stomach drop. Shit!

Billy doesn't look fussed one bit.

"Nice to see you too Steve" Steve glares at Billy and looks at her wounded.

"Out of all the guys you could date. You choose him!" Steve's eyes flash at Billy, she is concentrated on Steve and doesn't see the smirk on Billy's face.

"I resent that Harrington. I have plenty to offer a woman, plenty to keep her pleased" she doesn't miss the innuendo in his tone.

"Not helping Billy" she snaps and Nancy tugs Steve's shoulder.

"Let's go, Steve" Steve swallows and looks to her sadly.

"Why didn't you tell me" Billy snorts at this and shrugs.

"Gee man maybe because you act like this?" he motions sarcastically to Steve glaring at him.

"Would you shut the fuck up, Hargrove? I bet you're loving this huh?" Billy smirks.

"She's not yours Steve. She can do what she pleases" The tension grows thicker and she steps in.

"Enough okay. Steve, I'm sorry I didn't tell you okay? I know you hate Billy, and I know he's been an asshole but he's been through shit we can't even imagine" she pauses.

"He needs someone to listen and be there for him". Steve grits his teeth and takes her arm guiding her away from Billy and Nancy.

"He wants to get you into bed yn" she sighs.

"Why can't you trust me, Steve? I know what I'm doing" Steve scowls.

"He's going to hurt you. You don't even see it. You're so naive" she takes a step back and Steve runs his hand through his hair.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that but..." she cuts him off.

"I'm naive. What about you Steve?" he looks confused and she shakes her head.

"You get back with Nancy again! She will hurt you again because she can never decide between you and Jonathan and she will break your heart" his eyes flash annoyed.

"Don't put this on me or bring Nancy into this! We're fine. Nance and I are fine, this is about you and him" he jerks a thumb at Billy, you're blind to his faults"

"Like you aren't with Nancy! She's so perfect to you and the ideal that you never gave anyone else a chance" she blurts out and he scowls.

"I gave other girls a chance but it's Nancy who I belong with".

"Because no one else could compare right?" tears blur her vision and she wipes them away hastily. It's always been the truth but it still makes her heart hurt.

"What's this all about? I'm happy with Nancy so what's the problem?" she stays quiet and buries her feelings away. Like always.

Steve turns the conversation back to Billy.

"You're making a mistake with him yn and you're too stubborn to admit it! Don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart alright!" she glares at him.

"Ditto" she huffs and storms away, Billy chuckles.

"King Steve, you really have a way with women huh?" she tugs on Billy's shirt just wanting to go.

Steve flips him off and goes with Nancy in the opposite direction.

❤️

It had been over a week since her blowout argument with Steve and the silence between the two of them hurt her heart.

She wants to apologise but doesn't know how.

Because it turns out Steve was right, she was naive and she did get hurt by Billy.

Billy who assumed their relationship was casual and they could date other people but not before he spent the days before that rubbing their relationship in Steve's face.

Kissing her whenever Steve was looking, showing up to pick her up from school when Steve was picking up Nancy and Robin.

Flirting with the other senior girls in her class when she wasn't looking...

Shit, she was such a fool.

Steve was on shift with her at Family Video and she tried not to notice the shouting before he came in, the fact him and Nancy were fighting.

Something that was hard to ignore when she saw the devastated look on his face. All she wanted to do was give him a big hug and tell him everything would be okay.

He catches her looking over and slams the VHS tapes into the shelves.

"You can say I told you so" he grumbles and she bites her lip, she doesn't want to fight again.

"I'm not going to say that, you would have to say the same to me anyway," she tells him and shrugs weakly.

Steves eyes flash.

"Did that asshole hurt you?" she shakes her head.

"No, I was stupid to trust him. You were right about that" he moves closer to her and pulls her into a hug.

"I'm sorry. I was a jerk" she relaxes, feeling better than she had been in days.

"I'm sorry too" he rests his head on top of hers.

"God, am I a loser in love or what?" he jokes and she kisses his cheek.

"You and Nancy will work it out" she assures him and he looks unsure.

"You were right. About her and Jonathan. There's always going to be feelings there and I just... It's frustrating you know?" she feels her heart ache for him.

"Steve, you deserve better than constantly feeling like you're not good enough"

"It gets to me. Why am I not enough, it fucking sucks" he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Steve" she takes his hand and he squeezes it. "You're such a good guy, you're sweet and caring and handsome. You deserve to be loved fully, not by half"

He smiles.

"Yeah, know someone who loves me that much?" he teases and she feels flustered and looks away from him.

The truth is threatening to burst out. Steve softens seeing her agonized face.

"Hey. You okay?" she nods and he keeps looking at her with a concerned expression.

"You can tell me" he murmurs and she feels tears spill down her cheek, he wipes the tears away.

"Woah, hey, hey it's okay. Don't cry. What's wrong?" she wipes her eyes hastily.

"I can't... Please drop it, Steve" he keeps staring at her with that sweet expression and it makes her want to spill how she feels so badly but she can't.

"Is this about what I said? About you knowing someone who is in love with me? It's just a silly joke, I know there is no one" he asks confused.

"Yes there is" she whispers and his eyes widen.

"Wait who?" she cringes and wishes a customer, Robin, anyone would come in right now.

"Yn?" he inquires curiously.

"I do" she admits and he stills. Robin does come in at that point and looks between the two of them.

"Oh shit, did you make her upset you dingus" Steve looks to Robin and back at her still stunned.

"You love me?" he whispers and Robin's eyes widen. Embarrassed she rushes out of the store and into her car.

Why the hell did she tell him? What an idiot!

❤️💕

She didn't know what to say to Steve. How could she take back what she said? It was out in the open now and she was cursing herself for saying anything.

He loved Nancy, not her. This would lead to nothing but a broken heart for her.

When she heads into Family Video she notices Nancy is there with Steve, she's trying to talk to him but he refuses to speak to her.

"We broke up for a reason Nance. Just leave me alone alright?"

They broke up? Guilt churns in her stomach that she admitted she loved him. Was that part of the reason?

Not wanting to disturb them she heads into the back and is stunned to see the back door open and Billy sprawled on the floor nursing a beer.

"Uh, does Steve know your here?" Billy snorts.

"When would he notice? he's spent half an hour arguing with Wheeler." she eyes the beer and his tired eyes and feels a tug on her heart.

"I can drive you home if you like?" he swallows and nods.

"Thanks, don't know why I ended up here. Just kinda stumbled in a daze. Woke up from a nap that was full of fucking nightmares and just wanted to forget shit" she rubs his arm soothingly.

"You need a friend, someone to speak to about this who will help you, a therapist" he glares at her then loses the harsh look.

"Would you go with me?" he asks quietly and she nods squeezing his hand.

He gets up and is unsteady on his feet. His eyes are wet and she hugs him.

"What the hell is he doing here?" she hears Steve's voice call out and turns to find him staring at her and Billy.

"He's drunk Steve, I'm going to take him home".

"You lay a finger on her" Steve warns Billy who flips him off.

"Fuck off" she steps between the two of them sensing danger.

"Steve, I'll be fine. Billy, come on" she takes his hand and Steve's eyes darken a little or maybe she was imagining that?

Billy follows her out and sprawls in the backseat.

"Thank you for doing this," he says after a moment and she nods. She couldn't leave him like that.

"It's okay" he groans as he sits up and rubs his head.

"Steve wasn't happy" he comments and she nods, yup. She knows that.

"I couldn't leave you like that, Steve will understand. He's just protective" Billy grins and his blue eye shine mischievously.

"Aw honey. He's out of his mind with jealousy" she gapes then laughs.

"He is not jealous, he'll be back with Nancy sooner or later no doubt" Billy rolls his eyes.

"Like that will last. They aren't meant to be together babe. Anyone can see that"

There's no way she was entertaining that idea. Steve wasn't jealous, there was no way.

"You didn't see his face when we were together babe. Granted he hates me as much as I hate him but this was different. He loves you, even if he doesn't realise it yet"

Her heart is racing but she refuses to let herself hope and concentrates on getting Billy home and in bed which takes a lot longer than planned as Max gives him an earful when they head in.

After calling Robin to explain on the landline, and Robin offering to cover her shift (which she's very grateful for) she helps Billy get into bed where he falls into a deep sleep.

By the end of it, she's exhausted but makes sure Max is okay.

When that is finally done it's past eleven and she heads home.

❤️❤️

There's a light tapping at her window and she wakes in a daze. Someone is outside and she nearly screams out loud until she realises that its Steve.

Sleepily she gets up and opens the window bracing against the chilly air.

"Steve. What are you doing here?" he sits on her bed.

"I got worried when you didn't show up for your shift and wanted to check on you"

"That's sweet. It could have waited until morning though. You could have frozen out there. How did you even get on my roof?"

"Stealthy like a ninja" he teases and it makes her giggle. He bites his lip.

"I wanted to talk about what you said. You told me you loved me" shit. This was the crux of the situation.

Tonight she would be brave and tell him what he wanted to know. Brace for his inevitable rejection.

"I meant it. I know you don't feel the same though, I'm not Nancy" he stands up and reaches out to stroke her cheek.

"We broke up, she still loves Jonathan. I was tired of feeling second best. We are over for good" she gently strokes his hand with her fingers.

"I'm sorry about you and Nancy" he nods.

"About what you said"... oh boy, she was dreading this.

''Look, Steve even if you did feel the same I would just worry I was some sort of second choice or a rebound" he softens.

"You could never ever be a second choice or a rebound sweetheart" she peers up at him.

"You know Billy had some silly idea last night that you were out of your mind with jealousy about me and him"

He moves closer to her and it makes her heart race.

"Doesn't sound silly to me" Wait... what? Steve gazes at her, expression full of tenderness.

"God, you're beautiful and I am an idiot who should have noticed what has been in front of him this whole time" okay she was dreaming right now wasn't she? She pinches herself lightly to be sure.

Okay, not dreaming. Fuck. This was really happening.

"Tell me," he asks her softly and she feels tingles run up and down her body as he takes her hand and presses a delicate kiss on her palm.

"Steve" she can barely breathe as he presses another kiss there.

Their eyes lock and she grins.

"I love you" his lips meet hers and it feels incredible, everything she has ever dreamed about. He presses feather light kisses t her hair.

"I love you, sweetheart. Im sorry I took so long to realise but I plan to make it up to you, show you how much I love you every single day" she beams.

"Every day huh?" he nods and pulls her closer to him, so her body is flush against his.

"Starting right now"

❤️

[prismartist]

the thing is, guillermo's main motivation is not just to become a vampire. it hasn't been for a while. if that were the case, he would've left and served another vampire a long time ago––which he actually did in season 2 with celeste. the only reason that didn't go through is because it turned out she wasn't a vampire.

(by the way, it's not a plothole that nandor let guillermo go off to be turned by celeste even though being turned by someone than your master is bad. guillermo renounced nandor as a master as per celeste's conditions, so at that point she was his master, not nandor)

becoming a vampire is definitely the thing that drives a good amount of his decisions, yes, but it's not the only one that does. the desire to be a vampire is accompanied––and i'd even say overrode––by a desire to be family.

season 2 guillermo was very fickle. his vampire slayer lineage conflicted with his desire to be a vampire, and at the same time you cannot convince me that he didn't contemplate murdering the others several times. s2 guillermo was willing to drop the gang if it meant an easier way to become a vampire.

but i don't think the same could be said of season 5 guillermo. at this point he had made peace between his nature and his want, having used his vampire slaying skills to protect his masters. he had grown even closer to the vampires, and while i wouldn't say he never cared for them, that care has grown enough so that he hasn't attempted to properly leave since the end of season 2.

and more importantly, the other vampires had become closer to him. as he grew to see them as family, they had grown see him as such too. guillermo knows his worth, and his love for them would have only persisted if they also––slowly but surely––showed their love for him. otherwise, he hits the bricks, or tries to; the one time he tries to leave since s2 is at the start of s4, when they left him in a crate for weeks.

what nadja said to him in the motel comes to mind: "at first, i was just using [the little antipaxons] to get rid of my hex. but then it turned out... i really like hanging out with those guys."

guillermo started serving the vampires to become a vampire. but over time, instead of merely being his masters, they became his family. sticking with them became less and less about becoming a vampire, and more and more about being with loved ones.

he voices his regret to ask derek to bite him. "i really don't want to die," he says about nandor hunting him down, "but i'm more afraid of losing the vampires."

i think it's possible he continued to pursue vampirism if only to obtain this newer desire. but even so, vampirism ultimately didn't do anything for guillermo in the grander scheme of things.

guillermo wants to be fully accepted. he wants to be part of the team, an equal. not pushed away or dismissed. he's worried less about this recently, but judging by his looks during the guide's rant about being excluded, he still had his doubts. perhaps being a vampire would achieve that. but it didn't!

when the vampires came to say goodbye at the motel, they didn't do so because they respected him as a vampire. in fact, when they first found out, they just responded with astonishment (laszlo) anger (nadja) or indifference (colin, the guide). and even if he were turned by nandor, i still doubt they would've outwardly respected him.

no, the vampires each went one by one to say goodbye to guillermo because he was already part of the family. all this time, over the years, they saw guillermo as someone worth valuing, because he valued them. they just didn't show it, as vampires do. it had nothing to do with being a vampire. and even after the full transformation, they went back to putting on an indifferent and uncaring facade. being a vampire has no effect over the vampires' feelings towards guillermo.

in the end, vampirism didn't do guillermo any good. he had all he could ever need and want... as a human. except being a vampire. of course. but as a vampire the vampires didn't treat him differently, and if anything he's further excluded because he's too hesitant to kill. at least as a human, it's a given that he's an outsider. it's worse when you're supposed to be the same and you still end up too different

so in the end, it wasn't worth it. and guillermo chooses humanity once more.

do i wish we could've seen more of vamp guillermo, and definitely more of him building up to make that decision to turn back? yes. honestly most of my issue with the finale is the pacing; the latter half seemed like a separate episode on its own, and i kinda felt it needed to be a whole episode in order to stick the landing better. (can we bring back longer seasons please. even just a tiny bit longer, like 12 episodes :() but overall i am greatly fascinated with guillermo's journey, i am so in love with it, and i am looking forward to how he's going to grapple with the changes he went through this season :DD

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Earthly Encounter

Pairing: Q x Counselor Ruby (s/i)

Word Count: 2,797

Warnings: Very light spoilers for Star Trek: TNG S4 E20, none otherwise

AO3 Link

Author's Notes: Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it? It feels very nice to be posting a fic again, to be honest. This is just a cute fluffy story that I started like 3 years ago and abandoned because I didn't like the way it came out. I came back to it recently and kinda wondered what the heck I was thinking. Maybe my self esteem is just better! Either way, this was very fun and very cute to write and to perfect, and I hope you guys enjoy it.

Tag list below the cut. Click here or DM me to be added or removed. Reblogs are all seen and very appreciated!! ❤️

@ava-ships, @bee-ships, @beetleboyfriend, @canongf, @clawfull, @cloudyvoid, @discountwives, @dissonantyote, @edencantstopfallininlove, @final-catboy, @gible-love-nibles, @halsdaisy, @hoppinkiss, @hotrodharts, @hyperionshipping, @iyamifucker, @lex-n-weegie, @little-miss-selfships, @little-shiny-sharpies, @loogi-selfships, @lovebugexe, @mintpecks, @mrs-kelly, @nameless-self-ships, @nerdstreak, @paper-carnation, @patches-and-her-selfships, @reds-self-ships, @rexscanonwife, @ship-trek, @spacestationstorybook, @squips-ship, @tiny-cloud-of-flowers, @toogayforthistoday, @p-i-t-s, @winterworlds, @scroldie

Speckles of dust danced in the beams of light shining through the window of the bookstore that Counselor Ruby Ramirez had found herself in on that peaceful afternoon. She fondly ran her fingers across the spines of the books atop the store’s shelf, remembering all of the journeys she’d been on with those stories as a child. It was no wonder this section was labeled as ���classics;” even though the shelf stretched to the ceiling and was filled to the brim with books, she hadn’t seen a single title that she didn’t recognize. She spotted a favorite novel of hers, and she was quick to pull it off the shelf and flip to the first chapter. She remembered it all so fondly: the prison and the rose bush, the first piece of literary symbolism that had truly taught her to analyze…

“Oh, what have you got there? Something actually worthwhile, I hope.” The sudden voice in her ear made Ruby snap out of focus with a startled jolt, but even as she whipped her head around to look behind her, she already knew exactly whose smug face she was going to see staring down at her.

“Q! I’ve told you a hundred times not to sneak up on me like that,” Ruby exclaimed as she playfully tapped his chest with the book.

“Hmph, you've hardly said that more than fifty times, actually," Q said with an exasperated eye-roll. "Besides, you can't really call it 'sneaking up' if I’ve been standing right beside you this entire time, my dear.”

Ruby let out a sigh and turned her back to her partner, putting her attention on the book she'd picked out as she leaned her weight back against him. “Well, then, that’s a problem, isn't it? The point of coming here was so you could explore some of the culture that humanity has to offer,” she explained, gesturing to the shelves of books surrounding them. “That meant exploring the selection here by yourself, sweetheart, not just staying glued to me the whole time.”

Q knew this already, of course; this was the second of a four-day vacation that the couple had agreed on taking together, albeit one more reluctantly than the other. He still remembered when Ruby excitedly came up with the idea months ago, the way she had been beaming about how much she could show Q about what it's like to be human. Although he had protested to the trip's merit, the reality was that Q would have taken any excuse to be with his beloved in a way that wasn't disturbing her duties, so he hadn't needed too much persuading.

When Ruby had brought the request for shore leave to Captain Picard, she had described it as "less of a vacation, and more of an experiment.” She had explained, “We've seen already that Q has a sliver of humanity, a seed of compassion nestled deep within him. Perhaps all that it needs to blossom is the right kind of earth?"

While the captain didn't quite agree with the scientific basis of the proposal - or appreciate the wordplay - the Enterprise would already be making a rare orbit of Earth for a routine crew exchange. Many aboard the Enterprise would be taking a few days to visit their families, so there was no reason to deny the counselor the same privilege.

Back in the bookstore, Q was still doing his best to convince Ruby that their time would be better spent, well, anywhere. He placed both his hands on her shoulders to hold her steady against him as he dramatically nuzzled his face into her hair. “But darling, you’re the only thing worth any of my attention on this entire dreadful planet,” he whined.

He suddenly dipped her backwards, making Ruby balance on her heels as he leaned down a great deal to place his face right next to her own and speak in a provocative whisper, “What do you say we just forget about all this and head back home now instead? I'll even indulge you with that ‘cuddling’ nonsense that you enjoy so very much.”

Ruby could already feel her cheeks getting warmer as she failed to fight back a flustered grin; even after all the time she’d been with Q, she had to admit that she was far from being immune to his charms. It wasn’t only what he was saying, but also the eloquent cadences of his voice and the way he was able to stare her down with that alluring gaze that made her fall so hard for him in the first place. Luckily, by now she was at least able to save his suggestion for later rather than give in right away, and she leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before replying with a simple, “Very tempting, but no.”

She chose to ignore the way Q rolled his eyes in annoyance for a second time as he pushed her forward again to stand up straight, and instead she showed him the cover of the book in her hands in an attempt to catch his interest. He glanced over the title: The Scarlet Letter. "Look at this, hunny," Ruby said with fondness in her tone, "this was one of the first books I read as a child that sparked my analytical side. I remember the way it made me think about why the author chose to include certain details that might seem pointless, and why the characters would make the choices that they do." She turned her head back up to him and nudged her shoulder against his chest. "It was also the first book that really invested me in romance," she purred with a wink.

Q was not impressed. "It really does sound like a joy, starlight," he huffed sarcastically, "but you have no idea how difficult it is for an omnipotent being like myself to force his imagination to be confined to words on a page."

Ruby had already turned her attention back to the novel at hand. She knew that Q was fond of the sound of his own voice, so allowing him to rant on about the pettiest of inconveniences was the only way he ever felt better about the situation he was in.

Unaware - or just uncaring - that Ruby had turned her attention away, he continued, "Truly, think about it from my perspective. Why would I bother to 'visualize' the events of a novel in my mind, like you lesser beings have to do, when I could simply rewrite reality to bring these events to life? Or better yet, I could probably imagine my own story with a more gripping narrative and satisfying conclusion. In fact, if I may speak honestly, it seems to me that-"

Q's holier-than-thou speech was cut short as he felt a gentle tug on the leg of his trousers, just below the knee. He looked down to see a small child, a boy likely no older than five, staring back up at him with wide hazel eyes. Q grimaced and immediately recoiled his leg, the sudden shift in weight catching Ruby's attention as well. For a moment, there was an intense staredown between the disgusted immortal and the innocent toddler, until at last Q broke the silence and sneered, "Can I help you?"

The child pointed to the top shelf high above his own head. "Can yew get the Robin Hood book for me, mister?" he said politely, a slight lisp to his words as he spoke.

"If I do, will you leave?" Q asked bitterly. The boy's only reply was a thoughtful stare to the side, followed by a smile and enthusiastic nod of his head.

Q hastily located the book on the shelf of the bookcase in front of him, and he didn't hesitate to yank it from the shelving, pinching the very corner of the book between two fingers as he dangled it over the child's head with an outstretched arm, trying to distance himself from the boy as much as possible. "There you are, now please, begone with you."

The boy reached up and took the book into his small hands with a quiet "thank you" as he marveled at the green hardcover and golden cursive lettering. He then looked back up at Q, who had already turned his attention away, hoping for the interaction to be over.

Despite those hopes, the boy suddenly spoke up again. "I like Robin Hood," he lisped.

Q glanced back down with an eyebrow quirked, not even bothering to turn his head as he dryly replied, "Yes, I'm sure you do. Now don't you have somewhere to be?"

The boy shook his head with the same earnest smile on his face, clearly not taking the hint. Before the conversation could continue, though, Ruby - who had been watching this interaction unfold and barely stifling a laugh - stepped forward in front of Q and kneeled down to meet the child's eye level. "You're a fan of Robin Hood, you said?" She asked him with a gentle smile.

The boy gave her another enthusiastic nod and said, “Yeah, my dad tells me the story a lot for bedtime, but he has to go away on a starship, so my mommy said I should read the or… the orange-inal book while he's gone.”

Ruby smiled at his story and adorable mispronunciation. “That's a very good choice. You know, young man,” she said as she reached up behind her to hold onto Q's hand, “my partner Q here is a big fan of Robin Hood too. One time not too long ago, he even made all his friends dress up to act out the story!"

The boy's eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked back up at Q. "Wow, really? Did yew get to be Robin Hood, mister?"

Ruby smiled widely, both because of the boy's reaction and because behind her, she could hear Q faintly saying, "Starlight, what do you think you're doing?" as he recoiled his hand from hers.

But his Starlight wasn't listening; her mischievous side had quickly taken over, and she placed both hands back on her knees as she said with her bottom lip pushed out in an exaggerated pout, "Actually, Q decided to be the big bad Sheriff of Nottingham that taxes all the poor people and makes everyone sad.

"But… that's the guy who Robin Hood fights with," the boy said, staring up at Q curiously. "Why did you wanna be the bad guy, mister Q?"

Ruby turned her head around to meet her partner's eyes. "Yes, why did you want to be the bad guy, Mr. Q?" she parroted the question to him with a cheeky smile.

If all-powerful beings could blush, Q would have been bright red. "Very amusing, Counselor," he huffed, crossing his arms, "but I'm above engaging with this little mindgame of yours. Especially not with this," he gave the small boy a stern glare, "… creature involved."

The boy let out a giggle, making Q arch his eyebrows in shock. It has the audacity to laugh at me?, the immortal brooded in his expansive mind. What could it possibly find so amusing?

"Yew talk funny, mister Q," the child laughed. "I think yew'd be a really funny bad guy."

Ruby chuckled along with him. "Oh, you have no idea, young man."

From around the corner, a soft voice was heard calling out. "Lance? Did you find the book you wanted?" A woman not much older than Ruby stepped forward from behind another aisle of books, and the boy ran to her with his selection brandished above his head.

"Yes, momma! I picked out this Robin Hood book! Mister Q here got it off the shelf for me."

The mother reached down to pick up her child. "Not even gone five minutes and you're already making new friends?"

Q sneered under his breath, "Not quite the word I would use, but-" "That's right!" Ruby addressed the mother, thankful that she hadn't overheard Q's snide remarks. "He's a very sweet boy, he told us all about how he's a big fan of Robin Hood."

"Yep!" The boy beamed proudly. "And, and she said that her partner mister Q played Robin Hood with his friends and, uh, he got to be the Sheriff of Naughty-ham."

"That's Notting-ham," Q enunciated spitefully as he gleaned down at the child. Even if he desperately wanted the interaction to be over, he still would never miss an opportunity to be right about something.

Ruby paid him no mind, in the hopes that the woman would do the same, as she gave both the mother and child a kind grin. "Well, it was lovely to meet you, Lance. I hope you enjoy your book." She took on a tone akin to an ancient English knight as she thumped her a closed hand to her chest theatrically. "Never stop protecting those who can't protect themselves, and fight for justice and truth, just like your Robin Hood."

And unlike Q, she had wanted to say, but she decided that Q had had enough teasing for one day.

Little Lance beamed proudly and copied her motion as he put his own small fist over his chest, clearly taking the words to heart. His mom wore a similar warm grin as she and her son bade the couple farewell and headed toward the checkout counter.

Ruby turned back around to face Q, grinning cheekily up at him as he firmly kept his arms crossed and refused to meet her eye. "That was absolute torture," he groaned, "you know that, right? I'm not sure why I ever agreed to this trip." His partner let out a small laugh at how easy his disposition was to sour, and upon hearing that delightful little giggle of hers that he so dearly adored, he couldn't stop a smile from tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looked back down at her.

She chirped, "I'm sorry, my darling, but you know I can't resist teasing you.” A smirk overtook her face. “Besides, I believe I remember someone very intelligent once saying that one creature's torment is another's delight."

Q's eyebrows shot up in surprise before lowering in satisfaction, a grin snaking its way across his face as he pulled Ruby in close by her hips. If he had to make a list of all of his favorite things about her, the way that she was able to match his wit so effortlessly would easily clear the top three. Q was more than used to looking down on mortals, feeling superior to them, and he was somewhat justified in feeling so; even when encountering creatures cognitive enough to communicate, it was hardly ever that he came across one that didn't immediately bore him. Even with humans, as fascinating as the species itself was, the individuals were hardly worth stopping for. But there were always exceptions, and no exception has seized his attention, gained his respect, and retained his adoration more wholly than his Ruby.

Indifferent to who around may be watching, Q leaned forward and pressed his lips to Ruby's, allowing her to reach up and hold his face as he kissed her slowly and deliberately.

He just barely pulled away to groan against her lips, "I hope you appreciate my generous patience with you in situations like this." Ruby felt a shudder go through her body; as much as she saw and treated Q as an equal, she couldn't deny that, on occasion, she was exhilarated by the power he always had the capability of holding over her. She brushed any growing stimulation aside as she slyly retorted, "Only if you can appreciate me holding back in situations like this."

That comment earned her another kiss, this one much more brief but still holding just as much admiration, before Q stood up fully again. “Well then,” he sighed, “are we done here?”

Ruby chuckled. “Okay, you’ve been very good today. I’ll check out this book, and we can head back home.”

Q watched his partner as she headed toward the counter, an odd - but not unfamiliar - feeling washing over him as he replayed her words in his mind. He’d been very good today. It was still strange to him that such words of affirmation had any effect on him, even if. He’d never needed anyone else’s approval, or encouragement, or affection before meeting Ruby. He still didn’t need it, he supposed; he already knew that he was the most intelligent and powerful being in the universe. But something about hearing those things from her, the confirmation that there was one person who genuinely thought good of him, cared for him, loved him…

It was quite a wonderful feeling.

[hairrington]

Fighting with Fire

Summary: Life has been too hectic to start a relationship, so you're not looking for anything serious. When a fellow bar patron you remember from high school named Steve Harrington re-enters your life, it makes you rethink things.

In which Steve pines/pains for female reader even though she warns him that she's not looking for a relationship. Takes place in S4, P1. CW: substance use, lime. Requested by anon. Based on "Love on the Brain" by Rihanna. Gif credit: raquelsgifs.

Hawkins' best bar is The Stingray. And that's because, and only because, everyone knows they don't check ID's. Everything else about it kind of sucks.

You'd been to the establishment a few times in high school, but it became a go-to spot since you entered sophomore year in college.

The college is two hours away from your hometown of Hawkins - you visit home every two or three weeks, but even though your time at the house is limited now, you still need breaks from your parents. Especially with the way this year is going.

So you come to the dodgy but usually peaceful Stingray, order a beer, listen to the rock playing on the speakers, and give yourself a chance to think, outside of your tiny dorm and outside of your family home. Even with the bar's limited drink choice and sticky floors, it's better than nothing.

It’s Friday night of Spring Break, and instead of partying up at college, you’re burnt out, nursing a beer at the bar. You look down at your drink, turning the glass in your hands as it rests on the counter.

Sophomore year has hit you like a truck. First year was hard enough, but now your classes have gotten ten times more challenging, your new roommate is a nightmare, and you feel like your body has forgotten how to have fun. On top of all that, you keep a happy face around your family so they won't worry about how stressed out you really are.

Here, at The Stingray, you don’t have to pretend. You can just exist. And even though the light beer will do nothing to change your mood or state of mind, it's the experience that calms you down.

Down the bar, a row of seats away, Steve Harrington is sipping on a ginger-ale. It's not because he doesn't want alcohol. It's because he never knows when he's going to have to spring into action. This past week has been a whirlwind. Before this week, life had gotten back to normal after the Starcourt fire, even with some of the group gone to California. His days were predictable.

Not anymore. A creature they'd all called Vecna had caused grotesque murders in Hawkins, reestablishing the citizens' belief in a town-wide curse. He'd just watched Max almost get taken away from them, got attacked by demobats, and gotten some seriously mixed messages from his ex, Nancy.

He, said ex, Robin, and Eddie had just safely escaped the Upside Down via a gate in Eddie's trailer a few hours ago, and he desperately needs time to decompress. So he went home, took a shower, reapplied clean bandages, and made his way over here to finally be alone.

But when he notices you across the bar, sitting in a stool and staring down at your drink, he knows you look familiar.

Steve runs through his memories, then finally settles on what he's been looking for: he knows you from his twelfth grade history class. And you're even prettier than he remembers.

Steve came here to relax - and what better way to do that than to flirt with a pretty girl? Taking his glass of ginger-ale, and hoping you don't notice he's drinking a fizzy soda meant to relieve upset tummies, he slides in the stool kitty-corner from you.

When Steve approaches you, your instinct is to get annoyed. This is your time to be alone. But when you see the familiar handsome face, your knee-jerk reaction is to smile.

"I know you," he says, his voice smooth. You want to play it cool - of course you know him, too. It's Steve Harrington. Good-looking, charming, everybody-likes-him Steve Harrington. You won't give him the satisfaction of showing you remember him, though.

"From school?" you ask, playing clueless.

"Yeah. Steve," he says, unfazed. "You were in my history class."

After giving him your name, you think back to that class you hadn't thought about in two years.

"That class was brutal," you say, remembering the amount of essays you were assigned. It was nothing compared to the ones you were in now - but you didn't want to give him a sob story. At least not this soon into the conversation.

"I think I finished with a C," Steve recalls, ruffling his hair, suddenly self-conscious as you look at him.

"I can't even remember," you say. "Feels like ages ago."

"What are you up to now?" Steve asks. He's hopeful you're like him - still stuck in Hawkins, working a dead-end job.

"I go to State," you answer. Steve swallows hard, dreading having to answer when it's his turn. "Visiting home now and this is where I come to just... take a break from everything."

"Oh," Steve says as embarrassment pangs his chest. "Shit, I don't mean to bother you-"

"You aren't," you answer truthfully and maybe a little to eagerly. He gives you a heart-stopping smile. Yup, he somehow got even hotter since high school.

"So, you're taking a break," he says. "Stressed?"

"Only when I'm awake," you answer. It makes Steve chuckle. He knows about that, too.

"What are you studying?"

You tell him your major and start to vent a bit - about your schedule, your due dates, your lack of sleep. Afterwards, you sigh. So much for no sob story.

"Sorry to unload like that," you say. Steve doesn't care - you're cute and you're talking to him. He's happy.

"In a weird way, it's refreshing," Steve tells you. "I keep hearing about how awesome college is. It gets old."

You smirk, surmising that he must be either working or just living off his parents' dime. You remember that he was wealthy in high school. Probably still is.

"It's not all it's cracked up to be, trust me," you admit. You take a slow pull of your beer.

"You come down often?" Steve asks.

"Maybe twice a month, give or take," you answer. "Although it's been scary around here lately. My parents are one more news story from packing up and moving out of here."

Steve nods, looking down into the bubbles of his drink, thinking back to all he'd seen today. The news stories don't even begin to cover what's really happening in Hawkins.

"I keep hearing stuff about the town being cursed," Steve says. "Makes you wonder why bad things keep hitting us." He doesn't wonder. He knows why. But he's not about to tell a girl at a bar that monsters exist and he fights them sometimes.

"So, how do you spend your time in this terrifying place?" you ask, half-joking.

"I work down at the video store," Steve tells you, eager to change the subject. You, however, are not.

"Do you get to watch movies at work?" you ask with an adorable smile.

"We're not allowed to, but we do when it's slow," he says. This earns another smile from you. "Just finished that Ferris Bueller one."

"That's a good one," you say. "But high school is never like the movies, is it?"

"No shitty history classes, for one," Steve says with a tilt of his head. You laugh, resting your chin in your hands, thinking Steve Harrington could be the perfect distraction.

You spend the next hour talking about movies, music, and where people from high school are now. Steve lives up to the reputation he always had - he's charming and confident and admittedly cool - but he surprises you with his kindness and what a good listener he is. You didn't come here looking for a hook-up, but you think you just found one.

Your beer is long finished and you would've left by now, but the conversation is too good to abandon. The bar, however, starts to get more packed and it gets harder to hear each other.

You compensate by speaking louder and getting closer, which gives you a chance to see up close why Steve was always known for his good looks, when finally you get impatient.

"It's loud in here," you tell him, frustrated enough by the noise to just suggest what you've been thinking about for the past while. "My car's just outside. You wanna just hang out there?"

Steve doesn't need to be asked twice. As he follows you out of the bar, he realizes he hasn't thought about the mess of the Upside Down for over an hour now. You're interesting, sweet, and best of all, fun. He needs fun.

When the two of you settle into the car, parked along the side of the building, there is no more noise to distract you. You look at each other with mirrored smiles. God, he's handsome.

"My ears are still ringing," Steve jokes, mainly just to say something.

"I'm usually out of there by this time," you say. You look at your watch - it's well past 11:00. "I never asked you what you were doing there."

"Same as you," he says. "Needed a breather."

He hopes you don't follow up - thankfully you're too eager to kiss him to do so.

When you lean forward, Steve closes the distance quickly, meeting your lips with his.

Fingers tangle in hair and find their way under shirts, and a few minutes in, you pull back, breathing quickly, to give him a disclaimer you doubt he needs.

"I'm not looking for anything serious, okay?" you say.

"Fine by me," Steve says, eager to get back to kissing you. It's intoxicating for him. He'd been on dates recently, but he hadn't felt connected to anyone like this in a very long time.

He wonders to himself if he even felt connected to Nancy like he does to you after just one conversation.

The windows fog as you two continue to make out, and when it starts to get heated, Steve kissing your neck, lips sucking, you lightly moan.

"This is as far as I take it in a car," you tell him breathily. "And I don't have a place we can go."

"I do," he says, then steels and pulls back. "Shit. I don't." His parents, usually away, are actually home. Just his luck.

You look at each other, knowing what this means. You sigh, grabbing your purse to fish out a pen, and take his palm, realizing just how big his hands are. You ink your phone number onto his skin.

"Call me when you do," you say with a giggle. "I should be getting home."

Steve is dejected. He was having an amazing time with you. But he just smirks, giving you a parting kiss on the cheek, and heads towards his own car, alone.

---

The next night, you're poring over an unbelievably boring textbook in your old bedroom when you hear the phone ring. You let your mom or dad pick it up, but when your mom shouts up the stairs that it's for you, you pick up the receiver resting on your desk.

"Hello?"

"So, you didn't give me a fake number," Steve says on the other end.

"Ah, crap, I meant to," you say. "Muscle memory, though."

Steve lowly chuckles on the other end and it sends butterflies raging in your stomach.

"I got the place to myself," Steve tells you. Admittedly, Steve was elated when his parents left to go over to friends'. He knew they always stayed pretty late and it gave him the perfect opportunity to call the girl who'd be on his mind all day.

"Tonight?" you ask.

"Yeah," he says. "We should be good until around midnight. Maybe later." Excited, you ask for Steve's address and start getting ready right away.

When you pull up to Steve's street, you realize he must have said "the place" because "house" would have been inaccurate. It's a damn mansion.

When he opens the door, he's standing under warm lighting instead of the patchy bar lightbulbs and dark car you'd seen him in. You realize just how bright his smile is, how hazel his eyes are.

"Hey," he says casually. In reality, he's nervous as hell.

"Hi." You step in.

"Did you eat? I could order a pizza," he says.

"I had dinner," you say. He shuts the door behind you.

"Okay, cool," he says. "I got some movies if you want to watch something."

"Sure," you say, knowing over five minutes of whatever film you pick will not be viewed.

Sure enough, you're making out on the couch in a matter of minutes, picking up right where you left off. Steve is good with his lips and even better with his hands, and you revel in the pleasure he gives you.

He asks you your expectations, and when you tell him you don't want to go all the way but do want to get pretty close to it, Steve is more than happy. You two fool around and both of you think you click so well that it feels like you'd done it before - but neither of you mention that to each other.

Shortly after, you're back in the conditions you were in when you first arrived, but much more relaxed. With Steve lying on the couch and you propped up next to him, he looks down at you, running his fingers up and down your arm.

"That was fun," he says, making you giggle.

"I like fun," you reply.

"Me, too," Steve says. "I'm glad I bothered you last night."

"You didn't," you says with a laugh. "You actually took my mind off a lot. And that's hard to do."

"Same for me," he says.

"I know this defeats the purpose," you say. You look up at him, trying to focus on his next words and not on how he smells like the sexiest combination of cologne and hairspray. "But what were you trying to take your mind off of?"

He can't answer honestly, but he can get close.

"Hawkins and all the crazy shit going on," Steve says. "I care about a lot of people around here. I don't want them to get hurt."

Steve thinks about Robin, Dustin, the rest of the kids. You stop for a moment to take his words in.

"That is way more noble than my whining about college," you say. "And now I feel like a brat." Steve laughs, throwing his head back as he puts a warm hand on your shoulder.

"You heading back tomorrow?" he asks.

"Yeah," you say. "Got a group presentation Monday. Then an exam on Wednesday. See, this is why I can't have a boyfriend. I barely have a minute to myself."

You chuckle, but hope you've made yourself clear.

"What's your dorm phone number? So I can call you if your roommate ever stops hogging the phone." You laugh, surprised he remembers that detail from your rant the night before.

"I'll just call you when I'm back in town," you say. It's worrying. Steve calling you back at campus may get into boyfriend territory - territory you just stated that you do not want to travel.

Your answer stings, but Steve tells himself to drill a very important fact into his head before he gets too excited: you're not interested in a relationship. You just said so.

"When will that be?" he asks, immediately regretting the words. That might be too needy.

"Probably in a couple of weeks," you answer. You hope this man isn't getting too attached. You have zero capacity for a boyfriend right now.

"Cool," Steve tries to say smoothly. The two of you restart the movie and don't talk about who should call whom again.

---

The following Wednesday, you get a call from your mother reminding you about your cousin's birthday party that Saturday. A party you completely forgot about. You sigh to yourself, already dreading the drive.

You had meant to ask your best friend from Hawkins to come with you - but she was booked solid at her part-time job that weekend.

You think of Steve. Sweet, charming, fun Steve.

You hesitate before calling him, concerned he'll see this as more than it is - it's just a no-strings attached date. But you figure it's fine.

When Steve answers the phone and realizes it's you, his heart begins to race. It feels traitorous almost - you've said twice now that you're not looking for a boyfriend.

"Sure, that sounds fun," Steve says after you tell him the details.

"You sure?" you say. "Again, this is a tenth birthday party."

Steve laughs. He doesn't want to say it, but he thinks going anywhere with you would be fun.

***

When Saturday rolls around, Steve puts extra attention into how he looks. As he fixes his hairstyle in the mirror, he wonders if he's handsome enough, you'll change your mind on not wanting a boyfriend.

He knows it's ridiculous, and at this point, he's only torturing himself by hanging out with you, but he's never been very good at taking a balanced approach.

Everything has been going wrong - Vecna still hadn't been defeated and the group was just as confused about who he was since everything started. He needed something to take his mind off of things.

You had given him the address, and when knocks on the door and a woman he doesn't know answers, he asks for your name. The house is already a circus - children are screaming and adults are running around - but when the stranger who opened the door points to you, Steve's stomach goes numb.

"Hey!" you say sweetly, walking up to him. He's surprised when you wrap your arms around him, loving the smell of your perfume. "Thank you for coming. My aunt is insane. I need a friend. And a drink."

Steve gives you a forced smile at the word "friend." He's been able to casually date before and have relationships that are solely focused on the physical stuff, but it's never been this hard for him to know it's not going anywhere.

"Turns out they only have apple juice," you say.

"You're telling me there's no booze at this kids' party?"

"I was shocked, too," you joke. He laughs. You take a moment to notice just how nice his smile is.

The very aunt you were just talking about paces by, stopping to intrude as usual.

"You make a very cute couple," you aunt says.

"Again, we're just cute friends," you answer with a shake of your head. "But thank you."

She starts talking with Steve, and he's just as charming as ever, making conversation and asking all the right questions. He's be a great boyfriend in another world for another girl, but not here and not now.

You're inseparable the whole party, and you find out Steve is pretty good with kids. He looks to you a few times to translate what your toddler cousins are saying, but that's really the only support he needs.

After presents and cake, you give Steve a squeeze on the arm and smile.

"You did me a huge favor coming today," you tell him. He gazes into your eyes, unable to comprehend just how beautiful you are.

"It was fun," he says.

"You're just being nice."

"Am not."

"Are you free tonight?" you ask. After a full day of being charmed by Steve, you're eager to be alone with him with less clothes separating you.

"Yes," he answers without thinking.

***

That evening, your parents turn in early, and feeling like you're in high school again, you sneak a boy up to your room.

Steve seems pretty experienced with climbing through windows. This isn't surprising.

You immediately pull him towards you, meeting his lips and hoping he has the same thing in mind as you. He does.

Afterwards, you're lying in your bed with him, his arm wrapped around you, your cheek resting on his warm chest. It was amazing - just as you expected. You trace your fingers down Steve's abdomen, getting amused when he lightly jerks away.

"Ticklish?" you whisper.

"That's private," he says. You stifle a laugh not to wake your parents up. You look up at him, eyes travelling over his face.

"What happened here?" you ask. You had noticed the scar on his jaw before, but didn't want to ask. But Steve was intriguing. And he didn't seem closed off at all.

He can't be honest. He can't tell you it was a Russian soldier pummeling him for information. And if he did, he'd have to make sure you're sticking around. You've made it clear you're not.

"You know that fire that happened at the mall?" he asks. Your heart sinks. "It wasn't easy getting out."

Steve wonders if you can feel his increased heart-rate.

"Oh, my God," you say. "You were there?"

Steve nods, looking into your stunning eyes. He tells himself he better not be falling in love.

"Steve, that's insane," you say, resting your cheek back down on his chest. "I'm so glad you're okay."

If this is how you act with friends, Steve can only daydream about what a good girlfriend you'd be.

He stays until 3 am, whisper-talking with you for hours about anything and everything. Parting from you leaves a hole in his chest. As he quietly makes his way to his car parked down the street, he realizes he's too into you to walk away from this unscathed.

***

Tuesday morning, Steve is driving to work with Robin in the passenger seat. His mind is consumed by you.

He knows if he told you about the reality of his life - the fact that the Upside Down exists and that he's fought monsters both human and unhuman - you'd give him that supportive, caring look he's gotten so used to.

"...to figure it out. What do you think?" Robin asks.

"What?" Steve asks.

"You weren't listening to a word, were you?" she mutters.

"I'm..." Steve sighs. "It's a girl."

"When isn't it?" Robin scoffs.

"This time is different," Steve says. And it is. His recent girl problems seemed so surface-level now. He’s in love with you and he knows continuing to see you will just be torture.

But he knows he'll keep coming back for more.

***

It'd been a full week since you talked to Steve. That night in your bedroom was amazing - but it was very intimate. Romantic. Relationship territory.

Life has been too rough for you to worry about having a boyfriend. You felt you could hardly be your own person, let alone a girlfriend.

But when you've had one of the worst days of your life, you find you'd rather call him than be alone. Your roommate is visiting family a state away, so you call him that Saturday evening to come over.

Steve knows he's being an idiot saying yes, but he agrees to drive all the way up to you, two whole hours, just to kiss and touch you the way he'd only do with a girlfriend, with a girl who is looking for nothing serious with him at all.

He appears at the door with your favorite fast food and a big smile on his face.

"How did you know my favorite?" you ask, sort of amazed.

"I have a memory?" Steve answers with a sweet smile.

You invite him in and eat dinner with him. Steve steals glances of the posters and photos up on your side of the room as you sit at your desk together.

He asks questions about the photos and you answer them, telling Steve who the friends and family captured in the polaroids are. He recognizes some of the people from your cousin's birthday party, and it makes your heart warm with endearment.

"Why was today so bad?" Steve asks. You had vaguely told him on the phone that it was a rough one, but never went into it.

Steve listens as you tell him about the stress of your classes and how you're not sure you'll pass this year. You look so troubled, so stressed, and he wants so badly to take the pain away for you.

When you begin to cry, he pulls you in. Your face is nuzzled in his neck and you smell his familiar, comforting aroma. He lets you cry - just cry - and when you pull away, you see he looks heartbroken.

"I'm sorry," you sniffle.

"Don't be," he says. "I'm here for you."

"Why?" you laugh, wondering what it is about you that keeps him around.

"Because you're... great," he tells you. Perfect is too intense to say, he thinks.

"You drove two hours just to hear me cry and you're not even my boyfriend," you say. The last part comes out harsh. You didn't mean it to.

"What's with the constant reminders?" he asks. Steve's features harden. He knew he'd get hurt.

"I didn't mean..." you sigh. "I thought it was fine with you."

"It was, but..." Steve runs a hand through his hair. "It feels like we do all the relationship stuff without the titles."

"Why are the titles important?" you ask.

"They just are," he answers, frustrated. You're angry. The first night, he told you he was okay with this situation. As if he can read your mind, he speaks again.

"When we met, I didn't know this is what would happen," he says. "But you're right. I'm not your boyfriend."

Yet he's falling for you, tripping into a trap he thought he wouldn't trip into.

You take a deep breath in. You feel like he's seconds away from leaving. You sit across from each other, you on your bed and he on your desk chair in your quiet dorm room. Steve is undeniably the sweetest man you've ever known. But you fear that you can't give him what he wants.

"I'm a shitty girlfriend," you say. "You've seen what a mess my life is right now. I'd do nothing but stress you out."

"The only thing stressing me out is how you don't want to be with me and I can't figure out why."

"I just told you. I suck at relationships."

"So that's an excuse to never try?" he says.

You swallow hard and gaze down at your lap.

"You want me to try?" you ask.

"Obviously!" he exclaims. You meet Steve's hazel eyes and chew on your bottom lip. He's worth it. He's so worth it.

"I'm gonna suck at this," you warn him. His heart blooms at your words.

"Gonna?" he repeats. He smiles widely at you and you smile back. Steve is worth the risk. You know that now. You just wish you saw it sooner.

"You wanna do this?" you ask. "Really?"

"Really," he repeats. Steve kisses you deeply and it feels more vulnerable than all the other kisses you had shared.

You're gonna do this. If anyone is worth the risk, it's Steve Harrington. As he kisses you, he thinks the same about you.

---

Taglist:  @calpurniatypes; @rexorangecouny; @slashersluttt; @baker151910; @ultrunning; @prettyboisteveharrington: @sunflowersturn; @mychemicalsleep; @milkiane; @alicetweven; @daenerystheradnotmad​

[melcecilia14]

Everyone's talking about their problems with Rayllum in s4 but I'm just here wondering why no one is talking about the

Most confusing and stupid conflicts I have witnessed on screen????

Okay so point by point

Humans are evil for using dark magic (which is basically the same morality of eating meat) because they didn't want to starve and die anymore

They got kicked out of their homeland brutally to a crappy barron land (kinda like what the US did to the Indigenous? Or what the British did to the Irish? Love that) where they continue to suffer famines.

The Dragons guard the boarders from the eViL humans and kill anyone who crosses on sight.

When the humans cross over to save thousands of starving people, the dragon king kills the humans' queens even though he doesn't even know what they're there for??

The humans justly retaliate

Somehow this warrants the elves to send assassins to kill ALL OF THE HUMAN LEADERS AND THEIR CHILDREN?

A couple of rando human princes bring the dragon prince back to the queen, and suddenly she's not racist anymore bc love and peace ✌️

Suddenly the humans are zapped with an evil ray and start invading Xadia. They get yeeted and suddenly Xiadia and humans get along again???? Because it was the evil humans the whole time causing the conflict????? Whatever

We find out in season 4 that actuallyyyyyy it was 1 evil guy thats been manipulating everyone behind the scenes and causing conflicts throughout history????????? And also a human girl exposed him thousands of years ago, so was this before or after humans were ethnically cleansed??? Does anyone care about that anymore? Lol

That whole scene was so dumb cause it basically just excuses everything Xadia did and saying "actually it was this 1 guy teehee"

WHAT DOES AARAVOS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING BRUH YOU JUST SHOEHORNED HIM IN CAUSE YOU MADE THE XADIANS TOO EVIL LMFAOOOO

Also love how they gave Claudia an elf bf even though it doesn't make any sense for her character and he serves 0 purpose other than being someone's oc

It drives me nuts how they set up this interesting war, where FOR ONCE the humans are justified, and they're too cowardly to stick to it! And instead frame the conflict they came up with as either a both sides thing or the humans' fault??? Everything they wrote in regards to lore points to the Xadians being jerks but they never treat it that way.

Although I love Aaravos, it's obvious they had to come up with a big bad guy to unite Xadia and the human kingdoms because they didn't know what to do with Xadians being the Big Bad.

TLDR the writers have 0 idea what they're doing and are probably making it up as they go because they don't know how to handle the plotlines they set up.

[my-johnlockficrecs]

Hi. I love your blog. I was wondering what your favourite fic(s) are?

hi sweet anon, thank you so much 🥺💕 i'm so glad you like my blog! and omg, what a difficult question 😂 anyone who's been in any fandom for an extended period of time accrues a lengthy list of favourite fics, and i'm no different. i just know that once i start listing fics, i'll instantly start going "oh and this one, and this, and this, and thi-" for the sake of everyone's sanity, i've limited this list to 15 of my fav fics, in no particular order. if you ask me again some time later, my list would probably be different, because that's just how many excellent fics this fandom has 🤷 (and i'm also just that indecisive 😭)

The Pieces That Fall to Earth by Itsallfine (49k, M)

John and Sherlock have hit rock bottom, but with all their armor stripped away, they can finally speak honestly, seek healing, and find the truths that matter most.

An epistolary post-s4 fix-it fic. Now complete.

Electric Pink Hand Grenade by BeautifulFiction (67k, E)

"If Sherlock's brain is a hard drive, then these attacks are an electro-magnetic pulse." Sherlock Holmes does not do anything by half, not even a migraine. It falls to John to witness one of the greatest minds he has ever known tear itself apart, and he must do his best to help Sherlock pick up the pieces.

lean into a loved body by @simplyclockwork (60k, E)

Still reeling from Afghanistan, John Watson moves to farm country after inheriting his late grandfather’s property. There, he tries to come to terms with his new reality, the work cut out for him, and the failure of his marriage.

To top it all off, his awkward, bee-loving neighbour is kind of a madman.

A Firm Hand by Ellipsical (63k, E)

I started writing this fic in a hotel room in Japan two years ago after asking for prompts on Tumblr. This began as a one-shot for the prompt: Make me. And...I kept writing it. Hahaha, I really should know myself better by now.

I know many are turned off automatically by the Daddy kink tag, and honestly take care of yourselves and have a blessed day, if that's a hard no for you. But I will say that this fic begins as a Daddy kink fic and then transforms into something else. It's mainly an exploration of consent and identity and vulnerability and communication and agency and trust building and and and and.... I'll let the tags speak for the rest of it. This happens through sex. Lots and lots of sex. Some of the sex is kinky, but it is always switchy, switchy sex. Neither character is exclusively a top, neither one is exclusively a bottom, in fact I aim to make you question what those things mean. The Moriarty plot was very tangential to my wanting to write this story, but provides much of the urgency, so take it as you will, squinting from far away, perhaps ;)

Your comments are very important to me. If you enjoy this story, please let me know. I'm sending love and peace to you and yours <3 <3 <3 <3

Ghost Stories by @swissmissing (22k, M)

Sherlock’s parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

In Need of Quiet Affection and Gentle Words by @kinklock (16k, E)

After John’s girlfriend (of sorts) sends him an online sex guide, John finds himself more intrigued by the guide’s author than anything his girlfriend might have had in mind.

The Printer is Jammed by startrekto221b (snowandfire) (40k, G)

John is a disgruntled customer who just wants his money back for a shoddy printer Harry ordered for him off of a catalogue. Sherlock is a bored customer service rep working the summer he has off from Oxford. They are both about to get more than they bargained for.

A Doctor in the House by @kitten-kin (32k, teen)

A replacement for Series 3 Episode 1 of BBC's "Sherlock", because my John would never.

A Brand of Gold by aquabelacqua (12k, M)

What am I doing? he wondered. The answer came back at once: 

Flirting.

He sank deeper into the pillows, let the mist and blur of the wine settle around him, let it shore up his nerves and dim the warning signals that flashed dully in the back of his mind. He let the rest of the disappointment about Lucy and his strange accommodations and about the weekend as a whole fade into obscurity. He let the vital, missing piece snap into place as surely and as cleanly as if it had always been there.

He was flirting with Sherlock Holmes.

five times sherlock holmes lied to john watson (and one time he finally told the truth) by miss_frankenstein (5k, G)

"Something in Wilde’s persecution has touched a nerve in Sherlock – snapped that tenuous thread of hope holding him upright – and it feels as if he has taken to bleeding internally."

Set in "The Abominable Bride" universe, this piece adopts a familiar format to chronicle Sherlock's quiet suffering in the wake of the 1895 Oscar Wilde trials and the particular way they affect his relationship with (and feelings for) John.

The Presbury Letters by Katie (17k, unrated)

Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, and John Watson battle to survive the Great War.  17,000 words. Also as mp3 or m4b audio.

notes: it's a happy ending <3

Full of Grace by Katie (19k, unrated)

Oscar Wilde's incarceration, a wedding celebration for Violet Smith, and a pair of dancing men.

Twelfth Night by Katie (6k, unrated)

A parody of Forsythian schmangst: how to explain to Holmes that he is in fact homosexual, the effects of alcohol on Watson, and things that make ineffective lubricants. Adult humour.

A Quiet Murmuration by cathedral_carver (4k, teen)

//

Just pay me back with one thousand kisses.

//

things fairytales are made of series by @watsonshoneybee (67k, 7 works)

[melmedardasworld]

Travellers, Other Side, and Arcadius, Sirens storylines could’ve been connected

A theory I posted a while ago on reddit and want to share here too.

While we can say what we want about S8, I wanted to share my thoughts and discuss them with you guys. It's been a while since I (re)watched anything past S4, so bear with me.

So Hell is Cade's dimension created by his severe emotional trauma in what is coined 'Hell.' It's been in existence longer than the Other Side. So before that, is it correct to assume that everyone who didn't have Peace went to Cade's dimension. And before him, it was, only one finding Peace? Or maybe something else next to it? (Lazy ass writing to introduce Hell and a equally badly written villain and even weaker motive)

When Qetsiyah created the Other Side, most Supernaturals went here after they died. I say most because Jenna didn't end up there after her death. She went to what is a version of 'Heaven' since she found Peace. Also, Lexi found Peace after the Other Side crumbled. So it seems that by default, no Supernaturals after its creation went to Hell.

Cade would've noticed something was off. He was collecting souls and could freely enter Limbo, and his Sirens were servants in the living world to punish or kill any doomed souls beforehand. Could it be that when his Sirens tried to kill Supernaturals for Cade 2000 years later, he realized another dimension like his or a force (the Anchor Amara) interfered with his need to collect the bad souls and damn them for an eternity? It wouldn't be far-fetched, I think. Cade wouldn't be able to do anything about it since it is another plane he couldn't reach or destroy to claim all those Supernatural creatures. Not until the Other Side began to crumble was he able to do what he did 2000 years before all souls (i’m ignoring him wanting Katherine that badly to hell instead of letting her pass to the Other Side… it was fanservice to me and gave the writers and opening to bring her back).

Putting aside the inconsistencies in writing and if you liked or disliked the later seasons, Cade could have been built up through the Travelers (the most boring storyline ever) and tied to a common goal: destroying the Other Side. It would've made Cade scarier and built him up some more instead of what we've gotten when he died, and it being revelead that Katherine was the one in charge and pulling the strings.

Cade feels he is owed all these bad souls in the Other Side, and the Travelers want to break their curse and destroy all the Magic/Witches except their bloodline. Cade could've, at one point in time, before the Bennett coven sealed Sybil, ordered her and her sister to see what was up the first moment he couldn't take in any Supernatural souls anymore. They find out a Witch (Qetsiyah) created the Other Side and even come across the existence of the force behind it (Amara being the anchor). It gets an adequately fleshed-out backstory about the Psychics, Sirens, heck, even the tiresome Travelers.... most of Cade's negotiations would be done through Sybil and Selene. This would be a powerful alliance and the balance restored for both these parties that had to deal with the consequences.

This is just my rant/take on how these three (bad) storylines could be done better and have some proper buildup around the characters (I hated it so much after Markos and the Travelers were introduced).

Sidenote: it would've been so cool to see what happened to all creatures when they died before Cade came into existence. We know about the concept of Peace when one dies. I love the mystery surrounding it, and they've briefly shown what it looks like in the Originals a few times in TVD when Elena, Damon, and Stefan died at the end of the season. It's their version of a paradise/Peace. Perhaps a similar concept of not finding Peace could've been mentioned or shown. Would that be Limbo or something like some forever space of nothingness? They did say the Other Side was a concept, but it was only for Supernaturals, not humans. Unfortunately, we haven't gotten any lore that would explain this concept. Maybe it is mentioned in Legacies, but I haven't watched the show, and I won't.

[michpat6]

very curious about this world is cruel + you got the world on its knees part 2 👁👁

ooooooo okay! thank you for asking, @mikamoony!

so for "you got the world on its knees (now make it beg)" part 2, I'm just having fun with evil zelink again. plot takes the back-burner and it's little scenes with outsider povs of either link or zelda (or both) destroying things/killing people/living their lives. there's just something so intriguing to me about villains/morally gray characters, which is why I love writing them and all of their intricacies. the "first" part of that story was just an excuse for me to imagine a ruthless zelda who gives no fucks and a link who'll do anything to keep her safe, and now that I have them established part 2 is gonna be just as crazy, though the only thing I've written of it is that assassin bit I shared in a wip wednesday back in February 😅

and then for "this world is cruel (but you are so beautiful)"...it's my eremika brainrot turned up to the max. the original title of the doc before I came up with a title was "seven times eren watched mikasa sleep and one time he woke her up", which is definitely going in the summary once I finish writing it eighty years from now, because it's an "eren is so fucked up I love him" character study disguised as a "mikasa is so pretty" fic. that bit with the ocean I shared on wip wednesday (I think a week ago??) was the first thing I wrote for it, but I have a little something else to share now that s4 part 2 is over and the brainrot is real. I'm putting it under the cut for manga/ending spoilers :)

Eren looks up and-

She’s crying.

(No. No. No no no no no-)

“Mikasa…” Not yet, not yet, not yet- “Why...”

Stall. He has to stall, he has to stall her-

“Why are you crying?”

“…Huh?” she repeats, reaching up to wipe her tears, “I wonder why…I suddenly wasn’t sure I belonged here…”

Fuck, shit, damn it-

“You know,” he stands only to stare down at his feet. “There’s nothing we can do about it now.”

“Huh?” she echoes for a third time, and God she must be so confused but he can help with that, he can-

“The two of us abandoned everything,” he tells her the story he’s practiced for the days, the months, the years it’s taken her to join him on this Path, outside of their cabin in the woods- “Since the day we escaped out here, since the war with Marley ended...it’s been two months. The invasion of Paradis will begin soon. Running away is the only way for anyone to survive. I bet Armin is looking all over for us right now. I..." he falters, licking his lips, and continues, "I couldn’t send Historia to hell and continue that endless slaughter, and I couldn’t destroy all of humanity outside the walls. So why not choose to live the four years I have left in peace and quiet, where nobody else is around, just the two of us?”

Please, he begs her, begs Ymir Fritz’s power inside of him, Please.

Mikasa is staring at him, blinking like she still doesn’t understand, like her blood will make her realize at any moment that this place isn’t-

“Mikasa,” he says, driving the nail into his own coffin, reaching as far as he can into her racing thoughts and implanting a memory—What am I to you? You’re special to me, Eren, more than anyone else. Run away with me, Eren, you only have four years left- “Wasn’t it you who asked me that?”

Mikasa sits, and Mikasa stares, and Eren waits for their long dream to shatter.

[tma-ficrec]

Five All Time Mod Recs

To start off this blog, we decided to submit ourselves to the mortifying ordeal of being known and show y’all our TMA top fic recs!

These are fics of very different premises and categories that stayed with us and soothed our souls. Feel free to ask for more recs (or more specific stuff) because we’re definitely not done. Enjoy!

Mod Ami:

Statement Ends  by @martivist 4k words. Jonmartin. Angst. Post-canon AU. Ending Speculation. Lore speculation. S5 AU.

"Final statement of Jonathan Sims. The Archivist. Statement given… I think it’s June? We haven’t done very well counting time since the days stopped. Summer 2019, call it that. Statement begins.

We’ve found a way to send them back where they came from. All of them."

Forty-some years after the apocalypse abruptly ends, the final acts of Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood come to light.

Mod note: This fic... goddamit this fic. I read it halfway through s5 and I genuinely think this is one of the best endings the show could have had. It hit all the points Jonny made and then some. This fic is pain, yes, but the best kind.

Ninety Feet To Home by @judesstfrancis 33k words. Jonmartin. No Powers AU. Baseball Players AU. Fluff. Pining.

Jon isn’t really Martin Blackwood’s biggest fan. And he knows it’s a him problem, because it’s not like Blackwood is a terrible person or like he loses on purposes just to ruin Jon’s life, but he can’t help it. In his defense, if you were on a hot streak and the same person kept coming in and ruining it for you every single time, you'd harbor a bit of resentment towards them, too.

Mod note: I’m so obsessed with this AU that I broke my vow of not making fanart for TMA and made fanart of it. Yeah. Sue me. It’s the perfect levels of pining, ridiculousness and it brought me (an argentinian whose only baseball reference is the HSM musical number) tremendous joy. As the us-statians would say: home fucking run. ALSO, MARTIN BLACKWOOD IS LATINOOOOO.

Maybe not the stuff of legend by imperfectcircle. 14k words. Jonmartin. Post-canon AU. S5 AU. Ending Speculation. Lore speculation. Angst with a Happy Ending.

Martin forgets slowly at first, and then all at once. One moment he's grasping at memories, desperate without knowing why to retain even a single image of an angry, scarred stranger saying incomprehensible things about eyes, and the next, nothing. He can't even remember what had him so anxious just now. A car alarm, probably, or a dog barking in the distance. He's always startled easily.

Mod note: I still quote it to myself from time to time. ‘’Martin, you ate the megalodon’’ makes me giggle and also terribly sad. This is an excellent way of exploring entities lore, as well as grief and hope. 

the garden of forking paths by @bibliocratic. 49k words. Jonmartin. Post-canon AU. Ending Speculation. Angst with a Happy Ending. Use of Spiral Doors.

Whatever he had predicted might happen, Jon wasn't expecting to survive upon demolishing the Panopticon. He certainly wasn't expecting to be rescued.

Instead, he wakes up in an alternative universe where he's never been the Archivist, and Martin Blackwood doesn't exist.

Martin Blackwood wakes up somewhere else entirely.

Mod note: I’m argentinian and the major element in this story is a Borgues book. OF COURSE IT’S HERE. This fic is an absolute ride and so so so beautiful - multiple universes and Jon and Martin doing the same thing over and over and over again, with hope of finding each other.

Family, Found  by Dribbledscribbles. Gen fic. 9k words. S4 Divergent. Canon Divergence. 

It’s Basira who catches onto it.

The collective shift that seems to come over them when heading in or out of the Institute. Not just the oppressive sensation of being observed, their every move catalogued for the voyeuristic cravings of some unseen Eye(s). That feeling remained with them even when they left the Institute these days, but it was always stronger inside its walls. That wasn’t the change. Nor was it the point.

The point was: making life worse for Jonathan Sims.

Mod note: Do you want to hit the Eye? Do you want all the Entities’s plans to be twarted by the power of found family? Do you want everyone who blamed Jon for everything in S4 to sit down and apologise? This is your fic.

Mod Ebby:

the apple of the eye by  gocrazygostupid. 2.8k words. Fluff. Lore speculation.

TELL ME, ARCHIVIST

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SONG?

i'm not sure. i don't really get the chance to listen to music

if i told you, what would you do with it?

Mod note: I am absolutely weak towards any fic that gives the Entities some form of sentience, no matter what canon said. Especially when these interactions are so surprisingly soft. 

I WOULD PLAY IT

I WOULD LISTEN

in the chillest land and on the strangest sea by  imperfectcircle and raven (singlecrow). 19k words. S4 Divergent. Canon divergence, in the space between 159-160

Jon remembers a statement he read years ago given by a Jesuit priest, who said that the shortest prayer he knew was, just, fuck it, as in fuck it; it's in God's hands. He takes Daisy's hand and trails on after her.

or; hope is a thing with feathers.

Mod note: Everytime I read this fic, I end up at least a little teary eyed. It’s not exactly happy, more bittersweet, considering, but I still love it.

Come Love This World (Come Hate It, Too) by cedarbranch. 3.3k words. Character Study, fluff and angst, spans s1-5. Canon Compliant. 

Jon never liked poetry, until Martin.

Mod note: Yes I am picking fics that personally came for my heart one way or another, not much else to say, besides that “it feels like loving you” haunts me still to this day, in a good way.

i love you, i'm glad i exist by kissyourlocalmoth. 1.7k words. Scottish safehouse period. Fluff.  Established relationship.

Martin was thinking of a poem. It’s name sat on the tip of his tongue, aching to get out. It was a lovely one, too: something about how life felt easy now, at peace; how the small things felt like everything, a poem about… the importance of the little moments. These last few days had been like that, he thought. He couldn’t stop smiling to himself recently, and even Jon teased him about it sometimes, though he was hardly less giddy. He thought of the immense joy the little things brought him now, the mugs of tea they made for each other, how he would lay in their bed late at night staring at the ceiling, his love nestled against his chest, overflowing with so much contentment and fondness he did not know what to make of himself.

Mod note: Short and sweet, it was the first time I read that particular poem, and now it’s forever intertwined in my head with little scenes of jon and martin in the scottish safehouse before 160 happens.

exit wound by autoclaves. 3.1k words. Post-canon AU. Ending speculation.

Suppose there is a house on a hilltop. Suppose there is a story. There is always a story, and every universe is always expanding.

Mod note: I would’ve liked to tag this more, but it would probably spoil the twist it has. Reading back on it, the narration reminds me of the statement from 196, which I find fitting and a funny coincidence, considering. 

[steve0discusses]

S4 Ep 39: Pharaoh Can Fly (Selectively)

Guys, they’re back

Best storyboarder is back, and the visual difference between last episode and this episode is like when your art teacher picks up your charcoal and just fixes everything wrong with your gesture drawings. It’s like...I mean look at this:

I just really love and appreciate how illustrative this storyboarder is. And I say just storyboarder because this had about the same budget as the last episode--there wasn’t that much actual animation as per usual. But, all of the scenes were drawn so well, like panels out of a good manga. They just...they always nail it when they’re at the helm and I don’t know why they’re on Yugioh, but bless this storyboarder.

Plot wise, everyone got pulled into the dragon by gooey tentacles that came out of it’s stomach, don’t think about it.

Meanwhile, all of the minibosses could communicate with them and beg for help, yes, even the same miniboss who may have dressed up like Pegasus and catfished Seto Kaiba.

(keep reading under the cut)

The whole process of getting absorbed into the Orichalcos demon was a whole lot of symbolism and it was...kinda gross. Also kinda sketch. Also, for Kaiba it is a neat little nod to S1 when he had a vision that his brother was absorbed into a dragon mass.

I don’t think that the makers of the show remember S1, but either they just really like goopy dragons, or it’s a coincidence or I dunno, on purpose? Probably a coincidence.

And like I made this joke and realized...what if they actually meant to make that parallel though? This is the America crossover season, and they have referenced America’s love of trickster rabbits before with Pegasus but do they know about Br’er rabbit in Japan? Do they know? It’s a pretty Americana Deep-cut, and I have no idea how common this folktale is outside of the states.

I see anime busting out absorbing goopy masses all the time so I’m gonna assume that there might be a Japanese folklore I don’t know about which uses a similar structure (although I’m also assuming it has an extremely different history and association ((which I won’t be going into because I don’t feel like putting a trigger warning on this recap)).)

And looking at Wikipedia, there’s people that think the original reference to moist, absorbing creatures could have even come from as far as India. Which is...fascinating to how it also developed in Africa, and then the Cherokee also made the same story independently and then it fused together here in the States to make it what was eventually made into a Disney movie that will never be released again--this is just a really old ass story, all in all, possibly like over a thousand years old.

And a FASCINATING google deep dive I won’t go into for obvious reasons but knock yourself out.

Also, lets get distracted for a sec and see how well this storyboarder drew a fitted jacket at that angle. Dear Lord, did they get reference for that or did their brain just already know that those folds would be there? You can even tell that Pharaoh has just a little bit of padding at his shoulders. Ugh. Guys this storyboarder is so freakin good at these little fitted jackets.

So, once Yugi and his friends are absorbed into the mass, where they should have died...and maybe some of them did, but I don’t know if I should add that to the Death Count because like...they could have held their breath in the amount of time they were stuck in there...maybe...Anyway, they are saved by being tossed into the figurative briar patch--by the souls all hanging out in the Leviathan’s stomach--which again makes me wonder...did they pull a folklore on us? Again, I have no idea.

Like a lot of the people in this dragon have been thorns in their side this entire season, they’ve all tried to kill them at one point--all the minibosses, Mai, Pegasus--but now they have decided to team up with Pharaoh (along with the rest of the human race) and offer whatever they can to free them from the grip of the gross dragon mass.

And like, the ending of the folk tale is that the thorny ass briar patch is also where the rabbit lives usually. It hurts everyone else, but the rabbit--the rabbit can deal with it. And likewise, Pharaoh is freakin dead. He’s at home here. He’s surrounded by spirit power, his friends and their friendship power, this is like his zone, and now he’s crazy powerful for it and will be for the rest of the episode.

And like Yami is a very trickster God (especially Season Zero Yami) so like...it does make sense that he would mirror a folk tale based on trickster Gods, even if it is by complete accident.

So Pharaoh imagines everyone’s tears as individual drops in a glass or something--it’s not a literal glass or anything--it’s just there because the only thing actually happening on screen was his hand hanging out of this dragon’s weird puss skin.

And he’s now a fully charged Sonic the Hedgehog and no longer needs Kaiba or Joey at all. Just gonna grab his God card demons and take charge of everything else from here on out.

By first exploding his buddies right the hell out of this lizard and across hundreds of feet of open ocean.

Joey decides to remind Kaiba that he lost the Battle City tournament.

Seto’s roast was actually in the show, PS. He is not super excited to be reminded that Yugi owns every card that he spent 2 seasons failing to get.

And then Pharaoh did something really, really...

...just really really wild.

OH OK.

YEAH JUST TAKE OFF.

GO AHEAD THERE’S NO REASON THIS WOULD BOTHER ME.

I mean he IS super powered right now but like...

Like...WTF?

4 SEASONS. 4 SEASONS I thought this guy was glued to Yugi like Peter Pan’s Shadow and apparently--he can bounce.

Can Pharaoh do this every time Yugi asks Tea out on a date and tries to instead make the ghost in his head do all the work now? Can Pharaoh just be like “NOPE” and then phase out of the house, leaving Yugi to actually do the hard stuff?

It really adds a level of complexity to their relationship if Yugi can get a room.

(If not a room for romance, but at the very least a room to poop in.)

OR has he been able to allow Yugi to wicked poop in peace this whole time, but the show just never felt like telling us because they felt like it wasn’t important (although it is crazy important)?

Either way I am just...floored at this character development.

Yami just let Yugi out of his sight for like...I want to say 8 full minutes. Just incredible amount of trust on Yami’s part. Incredible. Knowing Yugi’s track record, he should have died in those 8 minutes but...he was being babysat by both Kaiba and Joey.

So Yami summons the Gods and they shoot lasers--you kinda expect this sort of thing.

And this is...probably...the real reason why Dartz didn’t bother trying to attack Pharaoh 5,000 years ago.

I can still think it’s because of Bakura but like...this is probably the real reason. It felt pretty chump to just shoot a laser at the bastard. Pharaoh just had to be reminded that this is a thing he can just do. If he felt like it.

Which he never feels like doing, because he’s too busy watching Yugi’s every move, and getting distracted by High School shenanigans.

After this happens, the giant snake falls to the ocean, splitting into just sooooooo many ghosts.

Over 7.8 billion ghosts, if we’re to assume that this is most of the population on Earth.

(thinking the weird-o in the hat is probably a Duel Monsters card? The duel monsters were throwing themselves into the Leviathan at one point so this is probably like a dark magician boy or something...I just don’t get very attached to the monster cards so it was like...whatever. The cards die like constantly so who cares?)

It is a pretty set dressing. Like Christmas lights but...dead people.

We also find out that the lost family of our minibosses Alister and Raphael, have indeed spent the last many years inside the Leviathan stomach, which is pretty tragic. We get a bitter sweet conclusion to Alister and Raphael’s story--although it’s not a full on ending for either character. Their life still hella sucks, they are in therapy for basically forever.

Where is Gurimo?

I don’t know what sort of job or life these two are qualified to have now, but youknow...Marik’s boat probably has jobs available.

Hold up. Can we talk about the windows?

I know absolutely none of you care about this, but I do, not to be picky or condescending to an overworked art team, but because I just want to know what they were trying to aim for.

There’s an iron stained glass style windowpane thing going on and that’s what’s really getting me. Like...I know these guys were technologically advanced, but why did you use this WW2 background? What happened to Ancient Greece that you were doing before?

Like doing a super past with future tech is so cool to me--I love that sort of concept art. That’s going into like Black Panther stuff where you’re referencing the earliest stuff in Africa and then blending it with stuff beyond our science. But Atlantis is a real big shrug and a “listen we ran out of time and had to press print,” and it’s such a shame. It feels less cohesive than even when this show does Egypt.

And yo this show and how it draws ancient Egypt--I feel like I’ve already talked about that. I have a feeling I’m going to talk a lot more about it next season. I’ll get to it when we get to it. I’m hoping that they have more time and budget to actually DO Egypt for once. (I say knowing they won’t)

Like it’s one of those things where this isn’t a history show, like at all, and it’s very much a fantasy. I’m not going to be like those sewing people on youtube that get annoyed because their TV show doesn’t have handsewn stitching in their Victorian bodices they rented from the costume department from an LA discount warehouse. Because, yo, it’s TV, and I can stretch my own imagination because it’s acting. (although I confess, I watch every single one of those videos).

But...the potential, y’all...the potential.

Anyway, Dartz isn’t dead. He was just taking his toot sweet time getting down the steps of his Gazebo.

This is where things get very anime. I get this problem a lot with anime, I really do--and maybe it’s just me. But like...sometimes it feels like anime changes the rules during the boss fight.

That happens a lot, right? Where suddenly the final boss reveals something that like...should have been addressed way earlier? And he’s alive but you don’t get why?

Anyway, Pharaoh reacts by getting maybe way too attached to his newfound independence.

Which like...I can understand Tea forgetting that Yugi is one people that is two people all the time, but the writers as well?

And what’s kind of great about this scene is that Dartz does see Yugi as two people here. He doesn’t look at Yugi, he looks at both. When Pharaoh is like “Leave me, Yugi!” Dartz heard all of that.

Just kind of a neat thing that we finally have a dude that can just...see Pharaoh for what he is, but it probably won’t matter because there’s like only one more episode left of this season.

Anyway, Pharaoh and Dartz have a chat about where evil comes from...and like...it’s some Yugioh lore, all right.

So before the show decides to give us the Genesis on Yugioh and reveal where the evil of the Orichalcos comes from, or if all evil was created by Orichalcos itself (which is IMPLYING stuff about Orichalcos) the snake shuts him the hell up.

As it should. Leave that Pandora’s box freakin closed. That’s going into extended universe of Star Wars books territory (RIP.)

As an aside--pretty sure that Yugi is standing outside that tornado. Maybe it was just the editing of the episode but like...

Yo I’m pretty sure Yugi is just standing there. For the first time, it’s not his nuts getting roasted. Wow. Tables have turned so much since he was dead.

Anyway, here’s the link for new people so you can read these in order

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

There’s only one left! We can do it! We can finish this season in 2020! And actually get back to recapping Full Metal Alchemist! ~~Woooo~~

Oh man that movie better still be on Netflix or I’ll have to buy it lolol.

[hellsbellschime]

Have you heard what Charisma Carpenter and Amber Benson said about Joss Whedon a few hours ago?

Here are the links.

https://twitter.com/AllCharisma/status/1359537746843365381?s=19

https://twitter.com/amber_benson/status/1359555694098190337?s=19

So Charisma Carpenter has come out with a statement about Joss Whedon being emotionally abusive and hostile on sets. It’s on IG and Twitter. I can’t say I’m surprised at this point because I know I’ve heard that her and Joss had issues. But this is also her coming out to support Ray Fisher who was also treated terribly by Joss on Justice League.

Charisma has finally spoken out against Joss Whedon. Like I feel like it was Hollywood's worst kept secret, because everyone knew that something wasn't up with Charisma in S4, then her being written off in S5 and being told through the press, then agreeing to return if she wasn't killed off but then she was. Like it was always an unspoken thing, especially since Charisma said at one point that years past and they've moved on (1)

But I'm glad to see she has officially spoken out against Joss and supports Ray Fisher by doing this, I'm glad to see she's made peace with it as well, she's been able to work through it to see that it's not okay what he did and be able to help others. Though it is sad to read about the extent of what she went through. Cause I think we all assumed it was just S4/S5 of Angel with the pregnancy, but it was during Buffy as well. (2)

I’m sure you’ve seen or gotten a million messages about charisma talking out against joss and her experience on set of btvs/ats, but amber benson retweeted her post and confirmed how toxic it was working with joss and how she’s still dealing with damage from it. I wonder how many other former cast members will speak out about it. Or at least show support to charisma even if they didn’t have the same experience. I’ll be side eyeing a lot of silent cast mates tbh.

Omg charisma carperneter came out today and told about her abuse working with joss whedon so sad this happened to her like wtf. I’m happy she came out and she’s admitted it at her own time

charisma carpenter talking about joss whedon’s abusive behavior on set

https://www.instagram.com/p/CLHjMmghiA9/?igshid=1sm1ui3gsxvn1

I agree that this is like, one of the worst kept secrets in the Buffyverse, but actually hearing it makes me really mad and sad and feel weirdly betrayed. I feel like it’s been obvious that Joss Whedon is an asshole for years, but hearing what she actually has to say about it and to know that it took DECADES for her and other people to feel comfortable coming out and saying that the way he behaved was completely fucked up. It’s really hard because obviously Buffy and Angel were formative shows for me that like, literally inspired the course of life that I chose, and it obviously disgusts me that something I loved so much and someone whose work/performance/character I loved SO MUCH was being abused for that work. Like it’s obviously not news that Joss was doing his fake ally bullshit back then and I always keep in mind that there were plenty of other writers and producers and actors who also made Buffy and Angel what they were, but it just makes me angry because it feels like such a betrayal to fans. I am extremely frustrated and angry that he was basically selling his audience on empowered female characters in a time where that was really rare, and behind the scenes was treating the real women who played these characters like shit.

[aleniksimmer]

Hello..I was meant to create an update post regarding everything in these days. The situation was starting to get better in general but then it crushed and I'm still trying to collect the pieces.

I wasn't able to post or answer cause things were already going shit. As you know, my cat was recovering from chest infection and sudden diarrhea due to the strong antibiotics, only in the last week we are letting her free to go in the garden during the day, but back in the cage at the evening. So that was going well. Then my cousin's dog that lives with us disappeared while he was out in the fields around our house to poop. My aunt and I spent hours walking around the fields at night with fog to look for him. Thankfully he was found by a person on the other side of the river (he walked a lot and was able to not be hit by cars) that contacted her vet who contacted the police due to privacy who contacted my cousin as soon as he was contacting them. We think he has been scared by some loud noises and ran away cause he was disoriented. On top of this my brother broke both of his elbows and needed a cast, now removed cause he is completely heal. That's why I was planning to update, everything was starting to going fine and I was finally able to finish Evelynn.

But then my dog started feeling sick. It looked like a stomachache as usual, she happened to have them during particularly cold days and throwing up during these times was normal. The first day she was feeling sick she was almost normal, she spent more time than usual in her dog house but she was coming out when called and she was eating normally. The second day she was even more inside her house and she looked a little sad, but again this was normal behavior if she was having a stomachache. In the evening she started to throw up, and again, it wasn't news for stomachache, but I still called the vet despite the hour. She said to remove the water and food and see if she's getting better in the morning. I swear I didn't saw blood in the discharge, just a lot of water and some pieces of food she ate. I was thinking it wasn't that bad, we can bring her to the vet in the afternoon, my cat lasted almost a week not being able to eat/drink or stand up, Mandorla was still responsive. She watched me as I was taking care of Ecliss and Stige, she even started looking a little less sad after I removed the water and she stopped throwing up. She was walking around, she was starting to accepting pets better, I petted her a lot, I examined her, I hugged her, I didn't expected to be the last one to stay with her. I thought we could go through this too. And then I woke up with the news she wasn't here anymore. The whole world crashed down. I spent the day in and out of consciousness, I don't remember what I did, I know I took care of my cats but the rest is just a blur, I just remember crying. My mother and brother took her to the vet hospital for the autopsy, they want to know what happened, both the old vet and Stige's one said she might have eaten rat poison, even if my dad assured me no one used it for a long time (we live near a ditch but she shouldn't be able to reach the trap, and I don't think she went near it lately). We're going to get the result Wednesday and I'm afraid, I already feel it's partially my fault, I should have immediately brought her to the vet despite everything, I don't know, I feel like I failed her if it was something preventable, I should have been more careful, I should have paid more attention. I didn't understand the gravity of it and it's eating me inside. My family is mourning on its own way, my mother can't stand me crying so yesterday I spent the day feeling numb and everything came back at night when everyone was sleeping, I fell asleep exhausted due to crying. She's already blaming Stige and me for what happened, even if it has been two months since their last contact. The mood was already tight and this event didn't help. Everyone is dealing with it by themselves and most of the interactions are rough. I guess we just need time passing. The hospital is going to give her back to us so we can properly bury her in our garden, I hope this is going to give everyone at least some peace.

About the update post I was going to make, I'll put it under the cut, if someone doesn't want to read about the situation, they can skip directly to this. Taking care of my cats and creating is the only thing that's able to dull the pain a little for now.

I also wanted to thank all the people who left a message on my last post and contacted me, thank you so much for caring ❤️ I'm not feeling ready for conversations yet, but remember I really appreciate your kind thoughts, they're helping me not feeling alone with my pain.

About my CCs, I published a cyborg chest tattoo the other day, and then finished Evelynn from K/DA popstars (years late). I fixed the dress, but didn't touched the fur or the necklaces because the distortion is caused by uv_1 (body mass sliders) and I don't feel confident enough to edit it better. I hope you're still going to like the set. About the hair, the fringe has the same clipping problems as EA one, so I don't see how I can make it better (I generally trust EA with their vertex and weight paints). I made the glasses without transparency cause in the game and in the MV they're like this (they're obviously floating as any EA glasses). For the hairpin I had to improvise a little cause there wasn't any clear reference in the MV nor in the official 3D model. In any case it's modeled to work with these hair. Now I just need to create the LODs for everything, adjust the maps, create the previews and I can upload it. In the meantime I looked at the new kda designs (baddest and all out). I won't considered the chroma cause first I didn't know what they were (I don't play lol) and second I would need to create a piece for each one due to the normal maps of the tops and I'm not really into it. I decided I would also give a try to the Prestige popstars even if I have to use just the low poly game models and the official art for reference (also, can anyone explain me why they changed Evelynn and Ahri ps prestige design? It's a sincere question, I don't know anything about lol). I also would like to add true damage to the mix but we'll see, I don't even know if I'll follow a specific order. About Seraphine I don't know, like, her design in More is the only one I'll consider but it doesn't inspire me that much, plus her hair would be hell to make them work in TS4. We'll see about this too I guess.

On a general note, I need to edit the names and the CAS thumbnails of Ahri set (and fix some things), so please re-download the set when I update it (I'll let you know).

I hope Ahri and Evelynn look part of the same thing, despite a lot of time passed between their creations. Poses by LucienSims.

About Miraculous, I made the inactive turtle miraculous some time ago, but I don't think I'm going to continue with their set right now due to the current situation. I'm afraid I'm going to ruin my experience, plus we are only having spoilers and you know I don't like it. I hope I'll come back when s4 will start (I still love miraculous, don't get me wrong, I just don't feel like investing in it right now, I'm sorry). On a more "positive" note, my love for kda came back, and villain concept video is giving me strength (I know it's weird, but I really need something to keep me "above the water" these times).

[wakanda-flocka-flame-blog]

The 15x08 episode Preview is the Reason I’m Drunk.

Firstly, I must mention that the episode that airs tonight was written by Bucklemming and directed by Speight, so... get ready for pain and cheap jokes. :)

Alright here’s where we’re starting out. The kitchen.

This scene being shot in the kitchen is so important. This kitchen is regarded as the emotional hub of the Winchester family. It’s been a common place of gathering for the boys and their closest of kin. It served as Castiel’s happy place when he was being used by Lucifer in season 11 episode 18 “Hell’s Angel”. This kitchen was where they mourned the passing of their son, celebrated his return, and fought about how to handle his downfall -- which led to the “break up” between Dean and Castiel. 

Even though the kitchen is just one of many rooms in the bunker, the conversations that happen in this room are usually about the boys’ relationship with each other, the people they love, and the struggles they have with their emotional bonds. From Sam telling Dean he would have let him die if Dean had been the one to undergo the Trials in season 9 episode 13 “The Purge” to Jack asking Castiel why he can’t tell Dean and Sam about Cas’s Empty deal in season 14 episode 8 “Byzantium”. Unlike the strategy-bound plot points they tackle in their war room, the sickeningly violent threats in their dungeon, and the deafeningly long silences in their respective bedrooms, the kitchen is for family. 

The kitchen is the room in the bunker in which Castiel feels the most comfortable. In there, he is pictured seated lethargically or leaning on a table or wall whereas in any other room in the SPN!verse, he stands or sits stiffly at attention for the most part. I

It is also the place where Dean feeds his family. Dean is known to see food as a type of love language; he cooks and eats emotionally. He has been known to consistently prepare meals for and feed Cas who has slowly stopped reminding Dean that angels don’t eat. Like at the end of “Byzantium” when Dean, Sam, Jack, and Cas all shared a burger and a beer after Jack’s rebirth. 

Now, that that’s out of the way, let’s jump into the meat and potatoes of this meta study on the 15x08 midseason finale preview scene.

We open with Castiel sitting on his usual side of the kitchen table brooding, pensive, and alone. Immediately after, Dean appears by the door, peeking in before walking tentatively into the kitchen.

Something intense just happened between Castiel and Michael!Adam.

Cas glances up and they lock eyes for a second. The only time they give each other eye contact for the duration of the scene. Dean immediately heads to the fridge for a beer and opens it. He grabs this beer for show. He doesn’t seem to take a sip from it.

Note: This scene has running for 14 seconds in complete silence. Not even music. Just footsteps and breathing and Dean opening the fridge and popping a beer, so clearly that’s what the show is trying to get us to focus on. ITS QUIET. It’s tense. It’s strange. It sticks out to you as uncomfortable. This is on purpose.

Dean leans in the frame as though he’s standing at the table where he usually sits. The angle is staged in a way where they are both in the shot, but cannot be in focus at the same time.

For most of s15 a table has been between them whenever they were in a scene alone. There is intentional space here. They’re usually standing so close, a Bible couldn’t get through them. Dean has openly told Castiel to back up. This is weird for them, and it speaks volumes. They’re not as close as they used to be.

Dean says the first line, “Maybe you went too far.”

We can safely assume Dean is talking about what just happened with Cas and Michael!Adam, but there’s another strong layer to consider here.

Cas broke it off five episodes ago in season 15 episode 3 “The Rupture”. After that episode, Cas hopped in his car, stopped answering calls, and basically disappeared. He made himself unreachable. 

Hmm. Speaking of going too far...

If anyone has “gone too far” in Dean’s mind, it’s Cas. Remember, y’all, Dean is the type of man to blow up Cas’s phone if he can’t find him. And, if he’s missing Castiel so much so often that he’s doing that, anywhere that isn’t right beside him is too damn far away. I don’t know what went on in the scene with Michael!Adam yet because this is just the preview scene we were given. 

This episode airs tonight. 

Cas does not look at him and eventually grumbles out, “………maybe.”

Cas noticed how loaded Dean’s opening line was. It had a double meaning for them. The only reason they are in the bunker together is because of Michael!Adam, Sam’s wound, and… well, because the plot demands it. They’re refusing to talk about why they’re so upset with each other, and that communication issue is manifesting through one long, continuous, never-ending fight. In past seasons, things get icy when Dean and Cas fight. They’re known to ignore each other, stare coldly in silence, bicker about how hurt they are, talk to each other through their family (Sam and Jack), and throw in a diss whenever they can slide it smoothly into the conversation. All that stuff your Grandma and Grandpa do at the Thanksgiving table after their 60 year anniversary. So, Cas clearly knows what Dean was getting at when he suggests Cas went too far. Because they’re fighting. And they’ve fought off and on for eleven years. Dean stabbed him the second he met him, this behavior is nothing new.  

So, when Dean accuses Castiel, the angel answers, “Maybe.” instead of “you’re right”, which means there’s a fundamental disagreement here. They disagree when it comes to the episode’s textual issue of dealing with Michael!Adam and the subtextual issue of these two refusing to confess something to each other.

All in all, Castiel doesn’t think that he went too far in either situation, especially when it comes to Dean. Dean treated Castiel like a verbal punching bag, so he left and he did some stuff that Dean didn’t like, yeah, but he didn’t go too far. Not from Cas’s perspective. And, so Castiel’s answer to both questions is a passive aggressive “maybe”. Oof.

Dean speaks again, refusing to meet Cas’s eye, “I mean he’s been on lock down for quite a while, you know? Maybe you just, uh…………….. went too fast.”

Being locked in Chuck’s narrative has been like a trap for Dean. This narrative is something he can’t seem to get out of, much like a prison. Not knowing what’s scripted and what isn’t is getting to him. Freedom and free will is the paramount of Dean’s moral compass. But, in this situation, he doesn’t know how to be free, so he’s going through an existential crisis. And when he lashed out, it came from that locked up mentality being forced to do whatever someone else wants for the rest of his life, confined into a box, fighting the same fight over and over again. Dean can’t even trust his own friends, because they’re in this trap too and may be used to hurt him, which they have been before. 

(i.e. Castiel being used by Heaven to hurt/betray him in s4, Castiel being used by Crowley to hurt/betray him in s6, Castiel being used by the Leviathan to hurt/betray him in s7, Castiel being used by Naomi to hurt/betray him in s8, Castiel being used by Metatron to hurt/betray him in s9, Castiel being used by Rowena to hurt/betray him in s10, Castiel being used by Lucifer to hurt/betray him in s11, Castiel being used by fetus!Jack to hurt/betray him in s12...... they need the best counseling money can buy.)

So, when Dean says that he’s been locked up for a while and Castiel went too fast, he means he needed Castiel to stay --  to put up with his attitude for just a little while longer, but Cas...

He went.

Too fast.

After hitting Cas with cruel words in the face of what seemed to be endless, brutal rounds of family tragedy after family tragedy, Cas peaced out. He’s done being treated this way. He wanted to leave, so he left. And when he left….

He left before Dean could figure out the right words to say to make him stay. He left before Dean could take it all back. He left before Dean could fix it.

He went.

Too fast.

That being said, what makes Castiel "Cas” is that he confidently writes his own stories. Dean was who he decided to follow while he lived this chapter of his own angelic life, but if Cas wants to stop following Dean, he can and he will. With barely a moment’s notice. Just like he did with Heaven. Castiel is his own singular being. He is self-sufficient, independent, and strong as a ox. Castiel is a creature of the sky, he can fly far away and it will feel natural to him. But because he is his own man, he will do so when he chooses. Chuck’s involvement in their lives bothers Cas, but not in a way that prohibits him from living his life and being himself.

That is not the case for Dean.

There is another long pause. Cas is waiting for Dean to keep talking. Castiel’s silence is loud, but not striking. Dean looks down at himself like he said too much. In a way he did. He starts again, “What’s he doing now?”

“No idea. He was very distraught.” Cas answers with curt and measured statements, hands folded on the table, hair... flawless.

Cas knows what it means to be imprisoned and trapped. He knows what it means to feel pain. But what he doesn’t understand is why Dean internalizes his pain, lets it boil into toxic emotions of self-hatred, and uses it as an excuse to hurt others -- even as an excuse to hurt Cas. Why Dean would do that… Cas has “no idea.” 

He knows how he wants to be treated by Dean and he now refuses to accept any less. Thing is... Cas hasn’t told Dean how he wants to be treated. He just takes it and frowns. That doesn’t in any way mean he deserves to put up with Dean’s sourpuss attitude, but he is also expecting Dean to read his mind. They’re both at fault for the rift between them.

Dean presses the task at hand, wanting to cut through their fighting and solve the problem, “Yeah, but what exactly did he say?”

Cas, not getting the memo (which is very on brand for him), replies with words Dean has said to him unapologetically, “Leave. Get out. I want you dead.”

Cas looks like he’s about to cry.

There’s a long pause where Dean takes in his answer, knowing Cas is shoving his words back in his face. Dean nods and looks even further away from Castiel. 

Somehow, this can also translate to the dramatic scene that will soon happen between Michael!Adam and Castiel. 

It is important to note that Michael!Adam was the archangel who ran Heaven alongside Chuck for most of existence. He was every angel’s boss, including Castiel’s. There is no doubt that everything in Castiel’s life happened because Michael gave an order, and “Cas of the past” did it without question. Fast forward to 2008, Michael gives the order to rescue his true vessel and Cas fucking falls in love with it. Then, Cas rejects Heaven, teams up with his true vessel to fight him, and tricks him into The Cage for a very. long. time. Mind you, this happened after millions of years of basically being the most powerful being in creation with no enemies that could possibly be a threat. 

I bet Michael hates Cas, and if those two were in a room together, he’d see Cas as a traitor against his own kind -- against him. Without Castiel, he wouldn’t have been locked away. Whatever words Michael!Adam had for Cas couldn’t have been kind. And when Cas said this, he was telling Dean that nothing Michael!Adam said to him cut worse than what Dean had said to him over the last few weeks.

Then, Castiel adds, “We didn’t bond.”

When Cas said the word “bond”, Dean Broke Down. It’s all over his face, his eyes go glassy, he looks up with an emotional blush. He’s clutching that beer like a lifeline. The words hanging here are:

               We [Michael!Adam and I] didn’t bond. But, Dean, you and I did.

The thing about Michael and Adam is that they’re both Dean mirrors. They’re both final results of the two paths that Chuck’s script offered Dean, and they’re both not AT ALL who he is.

In every known universe, Michael is shown as this war hungry, super strong, ultimately immortal sociopath with unfettered power and no regard for humankind or monsters. If the supernatural world and Chuck had gotten their way, Dean would have literally become Michael. A villian. Dean does not consider himself a villian. 

Adam on the other hand is a Dean mirror in a universe where John has little to no influence on his life. Adam is “pure!Dean without John and Sam”, raised by Mary as Mary wanted to be (not a hunter, living an apple pie life). Untouched by the supernatural, Adam’s happiest memories are of his prom and playing at the park with his mom. He liked sports, he dated girls, he planned for college and a career in his future. His life is what Dean missed out on when he was raised by John. Yet, what happened to Adam at the end of his life would have happened to Dean if he wasn’t trained and ready to fight the supernatural (which happened when he was raised by John). If the mortal world and Chuck had gotten another variation of his way, he would have ended up killed and possessed without the proper tools to defend himself from a tragic fate. A victim. Dean does not consider himself a victim.

Neither Michael nor Adam are versions of Dean that Cas could have bonded with, and these are the versions of Dean that Chuck kept pressing into his narrative throughout his life. 

So when Cas said “We [Michael!Adam and I] didn’t bond” he was telling Dean that he always came back to him because he likes Dean for who he is, not for the narrative Chuck forces on his life. He doesn’t follow Dean because he’s the Righteous Man or because he’s Mary Winchester’s son. He follows Dean because they bonded. They have a connection, they’ve fought for each other, they know each other, they have history, they’ve coparented, and it is unlikely anything can break that bond between them.

He doesn’t understand Dean’s self hatred and cruel words which is why he left. Cas has come to a point where he knows Dean is a lil butthead sometimes, but because Dean and Cas are who they are, that connection between them is still there. Their bond hasn’t been severed, and it likely never will be. And a bond like that means that they love each other and will make it through this. But, Dean better not get it TWISTED. Their bond may not be broken, but it’s been beat down and slapped around. He needs to say sorry. Give a hug. Talk it out. Be a grown up.

Dean felt that pain Castiel felt when he heard his words repeated back to him. 

He knows he hasn’t apologized. And everyone (Cas, Sam, Eileen, even the viewers) are waiting for an apology and Dean’s not doing it.

Why is Dean not apologizing?

Why won’t Dean say sorry for the things he said to Cas? Why can’t he find the words? Why is this so hard for him? What is he afraid he’ll accidentally say?

Dean doesn’t respond, so Cas sighs and asks where Sam is.

Relieved to have a break from being confronted with his previous actions, Dean struggles out his next line, but his voice wavers like he’s trying to sound casual even though he’s definitely about to cry. Sam has always been an easy topic for Dean to talk about, and while Cas isn’t done fighting, he still wants to be able talk to Dean while they’re together.

Dean says, “Eileen hit a snag on a case. So… he won’t be gone long.”

LET’S TALK ABOUT KITCHENS TWICE MORE AND WE’RE DONE I PROMISE LOL

Kitchen Point #1: Eileen and Sam are quickly becoming a package deal. Just last episode, they were cooking and flirting and smiling after a long night of having fun together. And, here, we see Dean and Castiel having the complete opposite of a good time in the exact same space. There is a notable mirror between the scenes of “Eileen and Sam in the kitchen” while Dean goes off to let them build up their bond, and “Dean and Cas in the kitchen” while Sam let's them repair their bond.

Kitchen Point #2: The kitchen shakes in a way reminiscent of when their son Jack escaped from the Malak box in season 14 episode 19 “Jack in The Box”. Then the first time kitchen shook, it was the final catalyst to break their family. Mary had just recently been killed, Jack was soulless, Dean and Sam went behind Castiel’s back to lock Jack in the Malak box, and Jack was soon to run away and get murdered. The end result of the previous shaken kitchen was Jack’s murder, Chuck’s reveal, and Dean and Castiel’s split.

Now the kitchen shakes again.

Cas looks at Dean for a second time as the scene closes and gets up pointing out the culprit as he says Michael’s name.

We don’t know if Dean looks back.

We get a harrowing shot of Michael!Adam.

The screen fades to black.

I can’t believe there was so much to read from that one small lil tiny preview scene. Safe to say I’m strapped in for the episode. Bring it on.

Just gotta say, I’ve loved all y’all work for a while :) I wanna be a meta-writer too and finally got to do one :) I will be doing more throughout the final season :) your meta work gives me life :) so glad you are writing too :) 

@amwritingmeta @drsilverfish @naruhearts @mittensmorgul @bluestar86 @tinkdw @legendary-destiel @elizabethrobertajones @dotthings @dimples-of-discontent​

[daisyfornost]

fanfic tag game

I was tagged by @greenapricot, and I feel so honored, not just because she’s wonderful and amazing and I’m in awe of her writing, but also because I’ve never written much myself and recently... almost nothing.

Ao3 name: daisynorbury, which I chose when I got involved in the Tolkien online fandom around 2002. “Norbury” is the Westron name for the old Arnorian capital of Fornost, north of the Shire. When Sherlock s4 happened suddenly that name conveyed something rather different, so I switched the second half to Fornost on tumblr. If it were less of a hassle I’d switch it on Ao3 too, but... hassle. Daisy’s just a nickname.

Number of fics: 18

Fandoms: Inspector Morse (1), which I’m putting first because it’s the only fandom I’m still writing in and even that’s just one, slooow, curatorial-rather-than-creative wip; Lewis (3), Lord of the Rings (7), M*A*S*H (3), Sherlock Holmes - Granada/ACD (3), Being Human UK (1)

1. Fic you spent the most time on: Aulë’s Gift, by far. Everything else took a few months at most. Aulë’s Gift took me 11 goddamn years. Eleven. Years. Which, at the time I finished it, was more than a quarter of my life. And it’s only 54k. I had one novel in me and that’s it. I like it and I’m proud of it, but to this day when I try to read it the formatting makes me CRINGE. Someday I’ll go back and fix it. *sigh*

2. Fic you spent the least time on: Dunno, maybe Lamedon Abandoned (LotR, L/G. 2.8k) but it was so long ago I don’t remember. I also feel like Fair’s The Last Thing It Is (M*A*S*H, gen, 3.1k) came pretty easily and quickly.

3. Longest Fic: Aulë’s Gift by a long shot. (LotR, L/G, 54k) See above.

4. Shortest Fic: Solid Choice (Lewis, Robbie/James, 1099w) because it was designed as a series of double drabbles. And from that experience I learned that I hate a word-count limit. Never again.

5. Most hits: As Yes To If (Sherlock Holmes - Granada/ACD, Holmes/Watson, 3k), probably because it ended up on a few tumblr fic-rec lists shortly after I published it.  Although somewhere along the line, someone miswrote my name on a rec list as “staceynorbury” and that name is still floating around the interwebs. Cracks me up.

6. Most kudos: Again, As Yes To If.

7. Most comment threads: Aulë’s Gift, but most of those are just me and @roselightfairy yelling back and forth at one another. Second-most: Silver Gaze, which is the sequel to As Yes To If. The one where H&W stay at an inn on Dartmoor after the Silver Blaze case. And there was only one bed.

8. Fave Fic you wrote: That’s very hard. Gonna set aside Aulë’s Gift just because there’s so much more of it than everything else that it’s unfair competition. Uh… maybe Hit What’s Pitched? (M*A*S*H, Hawkeye/BJ, 4.3k) Though some of my warm feeling for it is my readers’ reaction to Charles. Everybody loves my Charles. And after re-reading Venus the Bringer of Peace... gosh, I’d forgotten how much thought I put into that one.

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: Venus the Bringer of Peace (Lewis, Robbie/James, 6.1K) is currently two chapters and officially “complete”, but was originally intended to be five (culminating in the night after Falling Darkness, when Robbie and Laura and James all go home together, because of course they do), and I still have a bunch of notes for the last three chapters. I hope to get around to writing them someday. Indeed, sometimes I even open my notes and, like, look at them. (And as mentioned, Aulë’s Gift needs some serious reformatting, but I don’t plan to edit the content. Happy with it as is.) 

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning: I just published the most recent chapter (12: The Infernal Serpent) of my episodic review of Inspector Morse, and I haven’t started working on the next one yet so there’s nothing to share. And beyond that, my muse is pretty much dead. Menopause really axed my brain.

Buuuut… I could open my Venus The Bringer of Peace notes and see what’s there.  *pokepoke*

1. “There are things about me that are... latent. Without you. I can’t find them on my own, and I’ve never found them with anyone but you. You showed me who I can be. I can’t even see that version of me without you to bring it out. You make me more myself. More…  real.”

2. ... James doesn’t notice that Robbie’s returned from the loo until he feels a hand on his shoulder. James looks up, indicates the sleeping Laura with a dip of his head, and mouths “This should be you.” And Robbie misunderstands. He hasn’t been privy to James’ line of thought, and interprets his remark as James saying “It should be you, here, curled up on my shoulder, sleeping.”  And because Robbie is very tired, and wrung out, and freshly grieving the pain and awful injustice of it all, and despite Laura’s trauma and his fervent wish for her to feel safe and loved and held right now, for a second he imagines himself there in her place, and all he can think is “Yes, Christ, yes it should be, please.”  He stares down at James. He can’t make sense of what he just said. He thinks it should be me? He thinks it should... be me? He wants to be holding me? Now? James stares right back. Looking up at him like… like he means it. Like he’s both telling Robbie that he wants to hold him and unashamed of laying himself bare.

Robbie blinks a few times, then feels his hand drift up from James’ shoulder and two fingertips brush his jaw. He can’t seem to stop himself. He swallows, feeling immensely guilty, and whispers, “Ah, lad. She needs you more than I do just now.”’