#like one joke after another i could nooottt

[runningmanfeels]

Somin and her Husbands™

[cruisercrusher]

Dicktiger week day one— birthday 🎂 🎂🎂

Dick was cold when he woke up.

Which was not a new thing. He’d been finding himself getting cold quite frequently in the last few days. March wasn’t exactly known for being the warmest of months, and he and Tiger had been steadily making their way northwards. And, being on the run was kind of just like that.

But he wasn’t cold because of the icy wind outside. Although there was a draft— these cheap motel rooms were far from five star.

The bed itself was cold.

Also not a new thing. Tiger rose early to pray at dawn, every day without fail, and always stayed up after that. Dick always tried to sleep in as much as he could. Rest so thoroughly evaded him at night, after all.

The room was cold. Again, not because of the draft. Dick lifted his head and looked around the small space, and realized he was completely alone.

He jolted, a flash of worry like lightning making him bolt upright. He almost threw himself out of bed and into his gear when halfway through the action he spotted the handwritten note on the bedside table.

Wait here.

Dick frowned. So Tiger had just left with only those instructions, not telling Dick that he was going, when he would be back or what he was doing? They were supposed to be a team. You were supposed to communicate with your teammates.

Look, he knew that Tiger didn’t like working with him. Fine, Dick didn’t need him to like working with him. But they still needed to work together.

He sighed and pushed himself out of bed anyway, knowing he probably wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep after that shot of adrenaline.

First thing Dick did was open up their med kit and dig around, looking for a painkiller. He’d woken up with another headache. It seemed like he was constantly having headaches lately, of various degrees of pain, but he kept smiling through it.

Being on the run was not fun. It never is fun. He could act like he was having fun and make jokes and poke the bear that was Tiger’s temper until he lost a finger all through it, but really, it was not fun. Between the fights and the car chases, and the bouts of banter, in the quiet moments when all they could do is keep running or try and get as much rest as they could before they start running again… everything caught up to him.

Too much had happened in the last… year? Two years? He didn’t know, his grasp on time was slipping— too much had happened that he hadn’t processed and he was paying for it now.

And moments alone were the worst of all.

Suddenly having to go off all his meds all at once because there wasn’t time to pack anything or bring anything with them other than the clothes on their backs did not help either.

Seriously did not help. In fact, Dick felt like shit.

He found a little bottle of pain meds. He shook it. It was mostly empty. He sighed again and took one. Dry. Just to spite himself.

Dick wished Tiger had told him he was going somewhere— he would have asked him to grab some Advil if he got the chance. He’d even have thrown in some puppy dog eyes and a ‘pretty please’.

Luckily, he didn’t actually have to wait that long before the door to their room unlocked from the outside and creaked open.

Tiger walked in, stone faced, but in a way that looked like he was trying hard to keep his expression blank. Even still, there was a slight furrow to his brow, that seemed to stick through his every waking moment. He was holding a box.

“Oh good, you’re awake,” the other spy said upon seeing Dick sitting at the flimsy table. He walked over and set the box down on the table in front of him, then took a step back and folded his arms. “Here.”

Dick looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Is this some sort of prank box? A spring-loaded clown doll isn’t going to jump out at me if I open it, right?”

Tiger scoffed. “Of course not. Just open it.”

So Dick opened it.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, exactly, but it wasn’t a birthday cake.

It was a pretty typical store bought cake, with white icing and red, blue and yellow little fondant balloons decorating the top, around the fancy cursive letters that read ‘joyeux anniversaire’.

He blinked first down at the cake, then up at Tiger, a look of obvious confusion on his face. “Huh?” He said, quite intelligently if you asked him.

“It is a birthday cake.” Tiger grunted. There was a hint of red in his cheeks. He probably wasn’t expecting to have to explain himself.

“Yeah, I can see that.” Dick deadpanned. “But what for?”

Tiger frowned. “It is your birthday.”

Dick blinked again. “It is? Shit, I didn’t even notice the date. Wait, how do you know my birthday?”

“It was in your file. I read it when we first were assigned partners.”

“And you remembered?” Dick smiled, and Tiger blushed harder and looked away. “And you— you got me a cake?”

“It’s customary.” Tiger grumbled. “If you don’t like it—“

“No, no! I do like it! I love it!” Dick looked back down at the cake, then at Tiger again. “I— I mean— you—“

His smile started to crack and crumble as he stammered. “You… care…?”

Tiger frowned as Dick’s whole expression started to dissolve and his eyes went distinctly glassy. Dick quickly started to wipe at the tears that pooled there, though yet to fall. “Sorry— Sorry.” He muttered. “I just— I should say thank you. This is… really nice.”

But for some reason speaking those last few words just made things worse for himself, and Dick turned away with a single, gasping sob, before Tiger could see him fall apart. Why now, he internally lamented, why do I have to have a break down now?

“Uh—“ He heard from behind him, and Dick could easily imagine the confused expression that must be on Tiger’s face. The man wasn’t exactly the emotionally supportive type, that was Dick’s job. He felt bad for making Tiger witness this mess— especially after the other spy went out of his way to do something so nice for him. Tiger didn’t deserve this.

The chair across from him scraped across the floor as Tiger pulled it out from the table, and creaked loudly when he sat down. “Richard,” he said, and Dick turned further away, hiccuping a little. “Are you… okay?”

No. Dick wanted to say. I’m not okay.

(Well if you wanted honesty that’s all you had to sayy I never want to let you down or have you go it’s BETTER OFF THIS WAY for all the dirty looks the photographs your boyfriend took remember when you Broke Your Foot from Jumping Out the Second floor I’m NOOOTTT OOOOKAYYY IM NOT—)

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, I’m fine, Dick also wanted to say. He didn’t know why, but he was always hesitant to tell people when he wasn’t doing alright. He never liked to burden people with his load of shit, especially not when they needed his help more.

But Tiger wouldn’t buy it for a second, and while he may not have been the emotionally supportive type Tiger also didn’t take any bullshit and wouldn’t appreciate Dick just lying to his face like that.

Though Dick was sure that absolutely no one would be convinced if they were in Tiger’s place, watching him cry his eyes out because of a birthday cake, and he tried to tell them nothing was wrong, literally through tears.

“No,” Dick said. “I’m not okay.”

(Well if you wanted honesty that’s all you had to sayy I never want to let you down or have you go it’s BETTER OFF THIS WAY for all the dirty looks the photographs your boyfriend took remember when you Broke Your Foot from Jumping Out the Second floor I’m NOOOTTT OOOOKAYYY IM NOT—)

Okay okay, enough of that.

“I can see that.” Tiger retorted, even though he was the one who asked in the first place. Dick decided to cut the guy some slack. He sniffed, wiped the tracks of tears off his cheeks as his (fucking annoying) crying slowed to a stop. He looked at Tiger over his shoulder.

“I… sorry, it’s just been… a rough year. A rough couple of years, actually.”

He didn’t elaborate any further. He probably didn’t need to. Tiger didn’t prompt him to elaborate. He probably didn’t need to, either. Dick suspected Tiger knew already about (most of) the shit that had made these last few years so rough. Dick didn’t know how Tiger knew, but Tiger had this way of knowing pretty much everything.

Maybe he was secretly a meta. Probably not, but maybe.

Dick turned more fully in his chair to sit in it the right way, except he pulled a foot up onto the seat to tuck his knee into his chest. He looked at the cake again. It looked, in all honesty, pretty good.

He just… wouldn’t think about the calories. He could do that much, pretty simple— eat some cake and not stress about the calories.

And if the sugar made him break out, then whatever. He didn’t care if Tiger saw him in an aesthetically imperfect state. And he knew that Tiger didn’t care about it— they’d been on the run for a hot minute and had only just a few days ago managed to get a hold of some toothbrushes. Tiger’s beard was scragglier than it usually was. Neither of their hygiene or grooming habits were exactly peak at the moment.

Besides, Dick thought with a smirk— despite the lingering wateryness of his eyes—, Tiger was into him regardless of poor hygiene and unwashed clothes, and regardless of how much Tiger insisted he hated him. Dick had caught him practically gazing longingly at his collarbones the other day— his collarbones! Dude was on a whole other level of both repression and desire if he was looking at Dick’s collarbones as opposed to his more popular assets.

But Dick appreciated that. He’d made a comment once on how frustrating it was that everyone was more focused on his ass than anything else about him, and Tiger hadn’t even glanced at his backside since. So he was a man with taste who also respected boundaries.

Also, he got me a birthday cake. He went out of his way to get me a birthday cake. That’s not really something you do for someone you hate. Dick thought, and smiled back up at Tiger, wiping away the last traces of his tears. Tiger eyed him suspiciously.

“What?”

Dick smiled wider. “You like me.”

Tiger coughed suddenly, looking away. He glared down at the floor. “I do not! I told you before, I can’t stand you, and— and I cannot wait until I no longer have to spend even a second in your infuriating presence.”

“Yeah, yeah, blah blah you’re going to kill me someday yada yada. Why’d you get me a cake, then?” Dick teased him.

“It— well—“ Tiger stammered, something that Dick had never ever seen before. “I… wanted… I thought you would like it.” He admitted. Dick’s smile softened.

“I do like it.” He said, “Thank you.”

Then he sniffed, for some reason the tightness in his throat came back and his eyes once more looked suspiciously dewy. Tiger got a slightly constipated look.

“Don’t start crying again. Please.”

Dick laughed. “I won’t, I won’t.” He said, hoping he wouldn’t. “It’s just… been a while since anyone did something so nice for me without an ulterior motive.”

He shot Tiger a look, but it was still teasing. “You haven’t got an ulterior motive, right?” Tiger sighed.

“I wish I did. Now are you going to eat that thing or not?”

“Oh, right.”

Tiger handed him a travel fork from one of their packs, then reached back down into the pack and started rummaging around. Dick wasted no time in plunging the bamboo fork right into the cake, breaking through the icing and pulling away a generous bite of what was revealed to be chocolate cake. Tiger looked back up as Dick brought his fork up to his mouth, and stared at him incredulously, with no small amount of disgust. Dick paused.

“What?”

“You’re just going to… eat the… and not even…” Tiger searched for words. Dick shrugged with a pout.

“It’s my birthday cake, I’ll eat it however I want to.” He pushed the cake box more towards the center of the small, round table. “Want some?”

The other spy looked between Dick, the cake with the one bite taken out of it, the fork in his hand, and back at Dick.

“You can just eat from the other side. I promise you won’t catch any cooties.” Dick offered, nudging the cake forward a little more. Tiger huffed and didn’t say anything, but still took out the other fork and stabbed it almost violently into the side of the cake closest to him. Dick finally ate his bite of cake, grinning around the fork. (Wow, this is good cake.) (Just don’t think about the calories.)

‘Cooties… ridiculous.’ He heard Tiger mutter under his breath. He ate another bite of the cake, his qualms about Dick’s lack of table manners seemingly behind him. “I shouldn’t have done this. If I had known you had forgotten it was your birthday I would have just let the day pass quietly without any fuss.”

“No, you wouldn’t have.” Dick said it like he was teasing, but he and Tiger both now knew it was true. “Hey, you know what would make a great birthday gift?”

Tiger raised an eyebrow at him. “What, the cake wasn’t enough for you?”

“Nope,” Dick smirked. “The only thing that can satisfy me…” he paused for dramatic effect, “is a hug.”

Tiger groaned. “Absolutely not.”

Dick didn’t mean to let his face fall. He meant to brush it off with a laugh, but then his smile slipped and he couldn’t catch it before it was simply gone. Tiger noticed. Dick cringed.

It would be nice if some cake and a little bit of banter were enough to fully lift his spirits, but unfortunately it just wasn’t cutting it.

He was still cold.

Tiger sighed and stood up. Dick looked away, chewing at his lip.

(Yeah, so maybe Tiger did care, but that didn’t necessarily mean he would never exploit Dick’s moments of weakness. He was still a spy, Dick had to remind himself. He was still a spy and everything Bruce ever instilled in him was telling him not to trust him.)

(But he trusted Tiger anyway. So maybe he was an idiot, he didn’t care. He just needed to be not so all encompassingly alone in this world right now.)

Tiger rounded the table so that he was standing next to Dick’s chair, positively towering over him. “Stand up.”

“What?” Dick blinked.

“Stand up.”

Dick stood up. Tiger had been standing so close to his chair that when he did he was nearly chest to chest with the taller man, and Dick felt his heart speed up involuntarily at the proximity.

Almost as soon as Dick was on his feet, Tiger was uncrossing his arms and wrapping them around Dick instead— one arm around his back pulling him close and one hand cupping the back of his neck, and if Dick didn’t know better he’d describe it as tender. Gentle.

Tiger didn’t do tender or gentle.

So how could you explain this, then?

Dick couldn’t see Tiger’s face like this, and he couldn’t even begin to imagine what kind of sour expression he might have right now. Dick didn’t care. Tiger was— Tiger was warm, he was so warm, the heat seeping through Dick’s clothes and skin and all the way down to his bones.

He stifled a gasp and snapped his arms shut around Tiger’s back, clinging way tighter than was called for, but Tiger didn’t say anything.

Everything was going to be okay. Things sucked right now, but Dick wasn’t alone. Tiger was there, and he cared, and that was all Dick needed.

When Dick fell asleep that night, in a different but just as shitty motel room, pressed against Tiger’s side, he was warm.

[im-happy-at-home]

So I just found out that it was recently the anniversary of the release of the masterpiece that is A Day at the Races and so I wanted to share a rant I wrote in the middle of the night, sleep deprived listening to the album. A fair warning: I am incredibly enthusiastic and easy to rile up when I’m tired, plus spelling will probably wrong, as well as grammar. So anyways here is me making a fool of myself on the internet. Notice I get louder and louder as time progresses. 

Anyways, enjoy!

A Day at the Races is so good that my brain cannot compute.

Tie your mother down, with that gong opening and guitar solo is like the beginning of an epic movie or something.

You take my breath away? Eerily beautiful and sad. “I get ever so lonely from time to time” stood out to me so much and omg I cry 

Long Away? Is like? Such an Underrated song? I felt like I was leaving home or something and about to go away on a long journey, both excited about where I’m headed yet sad to leave behind everything. But then it’s also like I’m stuck in a place on my way somewhere longing to get where I wanna be but also go back to where I came from? I’m here, somewhere in between? Nowhere to go? How could a 3 minute 30 second song do this to me???? BRIAN HAROLD WILLAM MAY YOU ARE A GENIUS (author’s note: I don’t think that’s his real full name)

Don’t get me fricking started on Millionaire Waltz. It’s fricking beautiful when the opening has Freddie’s piano playing in one ear and John’s bass playing in the other, then they slowly merge together with the opening lyrics? And like that says a lot about their friendship?? Freddie’s bouncy and flowery and energetic piano and Deaky’s chill but complex bass riff?? Merging together in perfect harmony???? Also Freddie is at his peak here I swear. 

“Do you reMEEEEEEEmmmber?” YOURE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE 

“Coooome baaaack toooooo MEEEEEEE” YOURE DOING EVEN BETTER SWEETIE 

BRIAN LEGIT SNAPPED WHEN HE MADE THIS GUITAR SOLO ITS AMAZING!!! AND ROGERS DRUMMING CHANGES THE WHOLE TONE TOTALLY AND ARGWJQKSOSOEKEJSJ then the fricking WALTZ WITH THE MULTIPLE GUITARS AND RICH BASS AND BOUNCING PIANO KEYS AND THE CYMBAAALS the it slows down with Freddie and his voice and tHEN IT GETS THE FUCK BACK UP IM TIRED OF CENSORING MYSELF THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL TRACK THE HARMONIES ARE MY SEXUALITY I SWEAR I FEEEL LIKEEE A MILLIOOOONAAAIRE 

You and I is a BOP! John really has a way with songs that get stuck in your head for fuckING DAYS “JUST YOOOUUU AND IIII LAUGHTER RINGING IN THE DARKNESS PEOPLE DRINKING TO DAYS GOOONEE BYYYYY” im soft i want a love like this OH GOD THE FEELS

Also, “You know I could never see the futile, you know I could never see where life is leading me, but will we be toGETHER FOREEEVER?” “i don’t know” is such a MOOD. Deaky marry me I love you I wanna be your best friend. 

Then the masterpiece that is SOMEBODY TO LOVE is on next. Of COURSE it is. From one FUCKING banger to the next. Do I even need to emphasize how much I fucking love this song????? The HARMONIES, the PIANO, the BASS, GUITAR SOLO, the CYMBALS, the “SOOOOoooommBOOOOddyyy to LOOOooooOoOoVe,” the Roger SCREECH, then, THEN......

“find me somebody to LOOOVE, find me somebody to LOOOOVVEEE, find me somebody to LOOOOOVE, FIND ME SOMEBODY TO LOOOOVE, SOMEBODY SOMEBODY SOMEBODY SOMEBODY” 

“can annyYBOODDYY FIND MEEEE”

“somebody TOoooooOoooOOOO...”

“LooOOOOOOOoooOoooooVEEEEEEEE”

I fucking love this song. 

Alright here we go with White Man. I have actually never heard this song. Brian’s guitar is killing here. WOAH THE DRUM JUST JUMPING IN ON ME LIKE THAT IM SHIVERING I LEGIT GOT CHILLS OH MY THE DRUMS BANgING IN THEBACKGROUND THE GUITAR RIGHT IN MY EAR THE BASS IS TIGHT FREDDIE IS IN PRIME ROCK AND ROLL MODE HERE and boy this song got too real too fast and I am LIVING FOR IT YOURE KILLING IT BOYS THIS IS A BANGER “WHITE MAN WHITE MAN WHITE MAN WHITE MAN” SMASH THOSE CYMBALSSSSS ROGER YAS Freddie you’re voice and Brian’s guitar is just...music to my ears hehehehe lame joke. BOOM that drum ending though WOOH what a rush

YAAAAAS GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY “I CAN SERENADE AND GENTLY PLAY ON YOUR HEARTSTRINGS BE A VALENTINO JUST FOR YOUUUUU”

“oooooh LOVE oooooh LOVER BooooOOOOY WHAT YOU DOING TONIGHT hEy BoY” 

This song is amazingggggg every single member is able to shine here. Piano, drums, guitar, bass, and all those extra quirks make this song this is so underrated UGH

“Wheeeeeeen I’m nooottt WiiThhhh YOooUuuu THINK OF ME ALWAYS love youuu LOVE YOUuuuuuu”

BEST SONG EVER UGH WHAT AN UNDERRATED BOP 

Drowse. What. A. Song. Roger has never sounded better in my opinion. I can totally get lost in his voice and the instrumentals in the back. Wow. I just feel so at peace

“It’s a fantastic drowse of the afternoooooon suuuuundays” awww yes life makes sense now

“IT AINT EASY FOR A SMALL TIME BOY IT AINT EASY AT ALL” awww Rog my baby

“THINKING IT RIGHT, DOING IT WRONG” roG ME TOO ME TOO I WANNA GIVE YOU A HUG

I think this is one of my favorite songs. With the quiet chatter as the song fades.....what a chaotic yet serene song I just cannot Roger Taylor you are so much more than a car fucker I’m sorry if I ever doubted you THE WORLD IS BLESSED TO HAVE YOU

Awww the final song. What is this? Teo Torriate? This keyboard is sick! 

Oooh my god Freddie!!! “When I’m goooone no need to wonder if I ever think of yoooooouuu” I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU FREDDIE 

Wow this song is —

I had to stop for a while and really listen to the song as a whole. This song is amazing, especially with the references Freddie makes about how when he’s gone, not to forget him and the lessons we have learned. The final part where it seems like a whole crowd is singing along is like for me as if the whole world is singing along and continuing the legacy of Queen. Plus I’m listening to this at midnight dead tired and hearing Freddie say “Close your pretty eyes and be with me” or something along those lines was an almost spiritual experience.This is such a powerful song it’s like Freddie’s singing about not being sad that he is gone and instead celebrate what we’ve gone through together. “Let the candle always burn, let us never loose the lessons we have learned.” I’m not crying my eyes are just sweating. 

Wow. I’m done. I’ve listened to the whole of A Day at the Races. Wow. I just can’t believe how this album isn’t as well known as some of their others. There’s a track for literally everybody, and a lot of these songs have such deep and meaningful lyrics and melodies. I have just reached another level of peace and enlightenment after this album. Queen, you make living life so much better. If this isn’t Queen at their best then I don’t know if I can handle them at their best.

So here’s the end of my sleep deprived rant. I’m sorry if it’s so long, I guess I’m just really passionate at 1 am. If you guys want me to pull another allnighter, let me know what album I should do next. Thanks guys!

I sounded so high and drunk at the same time. Gawd. High on Queen I guess.