#like on one hand: no 9-1-1 and a fuck ass emotional cliffhanger

[annika-is-scared]

"When you comin' home? Home is where you're supposed to be Turn around, it's not too late, did I hurt you? You live too far away Are you turnin' off your phone again? If I take back my words, would you return to me?"

Ice Slippin - Omar Apollo

[artists-ally]

2024 Book List!

Not that anyone will care about this but I wanted to do it and have fun!! Here is a list of the books I have read so far this year and some of my thoughts!

1. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

This was my favorite book of the Hunger Games trilogy. I haven’t read A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes but I do have it. I started the Hunger Games to cope with the fact that I didn’t have the next book for Throne of Glass, but I still loved it I cant wait to watch the movies!!

2. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

I still to this day have no idea what this ending was and I didn’t like the book enough to try and figure it out. It was alright, didn’t love the ending, and Katiness honestly pissed me off.

3. Heartless by Elsie Silver

Oh my GOD I LOVE THIS BOOK. This is the second book in the Chestnut Springs Series (Flawless, Heartless, Powerless, Reckless, Hopeless) Cade is the standard I have for men now. He is him. I want a grumpy, mid thirties, cowboy to tell me everything’s gonna be okay. Cade and Willa are my lord and saviors.

4. Powerless by Elsie Silver

This is the third book in the Chestnut Springs Series (Flawless, Heartless, Powerless, Reckless, Hopeless) and it was some of the best character development I’ve ever read about. It was fanfuckingtastic. So good, so we’ll thought out and so god damn smutty. Jasper is so 🤭🤭🤭 with his 6’4 tattooed ass.

5. Reckless by Elsie Silver

Theo. Silva. Is. Him. Bullriders are hot. Convince me otherwise. You cannot. Again, some amazing fucking character development form the FMC (Winter Hamilton). I love love love this book. My heart was so happy in the end.

6. Credence by Penelope Douglas

What the actual fuck did I just read. So…. She goes to love with her dads step brother and his two sons in the remote mountains of Colorado. And they get snowed in for the winter. And she’s the only women around. For five months. I’m gonna let y’all figure out the rest. But it has good moments? I think? It was so weird and I’m mad at myself for thinking some of it was hot. It’s fiction, it’s not real. (I’m delusional).

7. Where Broken Wings Fly by J. Rose

This book was outstanding. Fantastic character development and a really good portrayal of PTSD. It’s about a mom and her daughter who escape an arrange, abusive marriage and flee from Mexico to a remote mountain Villingen in England. The cliffhanger at the end made me want to absolutely tear down my house brick for brick to find the answers but I supposed buying the second book will do. It was so good, super smutty, absolutely beautiful.

8. How Does It Feel? By Jeneane O’Riley

What. The. Fuck. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. I AM SO NOT OKAY????? Those last two chapters had some Fourth Wing level plot twists that I had no hope of predicting. I am in shambles rn. Absolutely distressed over this fucking god damn mother fucking book. It’s about a biologist who falls through a faerie portal, onto the crowded prince. They think she’s an assassin sent to kill him, and he puts her through a lot of torture to prove her innocence. NOTHING. AND. I. MEAN. NOTHING. will prepare you for this ending.

9. Hopeless by Elsie Silver

AMAZING. 11/10 Elsie silver kills it ever time. This story is about Beau and Bailey. Arranged fake marriage, enemies to friends to lovers. He’s a medically retired special ops military guy and she’s got the worst last name in town. So cute. So sweet. So spicy. Beau Eaton is the standard I have for men now. He’s everything I need. Love love LOVE

10). One Dark Window by Rachel Ginning

My favorite book of the year. Hands down. I cannot stress how much I LOVED. THIS. FUCKING. BOOK. The main character Elspyth has been infected as a child and now harbors raw, unfiltered magic. It is a crime to use magic without the use of the Providence Cards. There are twelve Cards and they all give you separate abilities (strength, speed, beauty, to control others minds, influence emotions and so on). She had the ability to absorb the magic from these cards and now has one of them living inside her head. She teams up with a band of rebels to reunite the Cards in the deck to lift a deadly mist from their town. It’s insanity. It’s so crazy good idk how NO ONE HAS SAID ANYTHING I HAVE NEVER ONCE SEEN THIS BOOK ON BOOKTOK OR IG AND ITS CONCERNING. easily the best world building I’ve ever read. I finished the book last night and the second one will be here today 😭😭

[dorovahkiin]

SnK chapter 131 - My personal thoughts

- Ramzi and Halil... For me the MVPs of 131. Poor lads. Eren and Ramzi are both very confident and ambitious, but it didn't end well for Ramzi. And I don't think it will end well for Eren either.

- This wasn't Liberio, right? But interesting that a lot of people already escaped (without telling the refugees, what asses)

- Are the warriors' families still alive? I think yes, at least a few of them. If Annie wants to see her dad again they'd have to accidentally meet in Odiha, otherwise I have no clue

- It was nice to see Eren's POV of chapter 123 and to see what was behind that Ramzi memory shard. Well...

- Eren feels sorry - though FELT would be more appropriate. 123 Eren was months before current paths Eren and tbh I'm not sure if paths Eren still feels sorry. He is so different, like a completely new human being. Not to mention he called the humans "animals" last chapter.

- It almost feels like he has two personalities, but I think it's different than Reiner. Eren's "villain" personality was part of him since he was born ("I was born this way"). Imo it's not the result of circumstances, but it has always been there and was forshadowed since his season 1. Circumstances rather trigger it instead of create.

- I used to think Eren is doing this mainly for Paradis and his friends, but I changed my opinion months ago after re-reading chapter 100 and 131 more or less confirmed that there is more behind it:

- Freedom. It's nice that freedom through rumbling was confirmed as "That scenery" because I have guessed that. So no E+H=Y scenery, I doubt there's a second "that scenery" 😂

- Of course part of him is still doing this for Paradis, it's the "good" side inside of him, but I believe the "evil" side of him is doing this for selfish freedom. And now the "evil" side took over completely, therefore his main goal is freedom either at the present, but not at 123 yet!

- We shouldn't forget that the "I'm sorry" parts were flashbacks of 123, not the thoughts of current Eren. Current Eren's thoughts are the kid Eren in Paths imo.

- Age-wise kid Eren looks like himself when he got his titan powers. Ymir also got stuck in Paths with a kid's body, probably the same age as she got her titan powers. Interesting pattern.

- RIP Ramzi and Halil 😞

- OK, what the hell was Ymir doing there? Tbh I first thought she was there physically and is about to get stomped on 🙈 But Isayama drew those white lines through her, so this got to be her as ghost/vision or whatever

- Ramzi is not Eldian, otherwise he would have heard Eren's voice in Paths. But why tf does he see Ymir? Or maybe he doesn't see her at all and she is just watching him? Though it was implied he sees her 🤔

- I don't think Ymir controls Eren. At least I hope not. Ymir being the "end boss" would be underwhelming imo because she was properly introduced pretty late and never spoke a word. She is not as well developed as Eren, actually far away from his level of development! I do think Eren is the "end boss" and Ymir is just watching and sees the consequences of her actions, though I don't know how she feels about it.

- What the fuck, Armin in Paths with Eren? This was a Trost arc parallel when Armin woke Eren up, this will probably have some importance later on

- Let's move on to the AruAni scene: Most of my warrior discord friends will kill me if they see this, but I actually liked the AruAni scene.

- I've never been that much of an AruAni shipper, but I do support and enjoy it. It has been developed since season 1 after all and I was happy about the scene. Congrats to all AruAni fans! Even if my favourite ships are two other pairings I have to admit that AruAni is most probable to become canon at the moment - unless one of them dies.

- AruAni haters used to say Armin only went to Annie to vent, nice that this chapter confirmed that this is bullshit. He just likes Annie, simple as that.

- Bertholdt controlling Armin is bullshit either imo and will hopefully confirmed soon. After all Eren lied about Mikasa being a slave, then I think he also lied about Armin.

- When it comes to Annie's feelings things are more difficult imo... I do think she likes him in a way because she had always acted different around him, but I'm not sure if it's romantic and she probably doesn't know either. Annie is so dumb when it comes to emotions, she is just slowly learning to understand them. I think she tried to push Armin away because she cannot believe someone actually likes her, she doesn't dare to believe, she has such low self esteem. She doesn't really know how it feels to be loved, so she doesn't know how to handle.

- Furthermore the timing was weird because she is worried about her dad, but on the other hand she started the talk in the first place 🤷‍♀️ She took the rare opportunity of them being alone, they don't have much to do on the ship anyway, so it's perfect for talks. Of course she is most worried about her dad, but the Armin situation must be important to her either, otherwise she wouldn't have addressed it to Armin in the first place.

- What I also liked about the scene is that Armin admitted he has done mistakes. Armin and Annie's mistakes are different and not really comparable, but I liked that Armin stepped down from high moral ground. Because I have met some SC fans who say 104th have never done anything wrong, warriors always bad, and this gets annoying sometimes. Because SC are not perfect either. Btw I like both SC and warriors!

- Last page. Wtf is Eren at all 🙈 I think he won't be able to get back to normal human form again. Whether he is asleep or unconscious, his consciousness is obviously inside the kids Paths Eren above the clouds

- It would be crazy if Eren were capable of warging inside birds, but for now this is more or less a crack theory. But on the other hand how was he able to see Falco in that memory shard last chapter? It's so confusing!

- I think Armin will try to wake Eren up, just like in Trost arc. But if anyone is somehow killing Eren, it will be Reiner imo.

- Therfore I'm hoping for a Reiner centred chapter again, or more warrior centred chapters in general, they've been neglected. There is still a lot of talk that has to happen both between the warriors themselves and between warriors and SC. I want to see more emotional talks.

- Eren POV was important, but for me it was not very new, but rather a confirmation of what I already theorised. I hope next chapter (and also next volume!) we switch back to the other characters again

- So my prediction for next chapter: Talk chapter similar to 127 between warriors and SC, maybe also between warriors themselves. I'd like a Reiner focus, but obviously I'm biased 🙈

- I hope the SC will understand Eren's real intention since he no longer does it for Paradis mainly. They are deluded in that matter, but I can't blame them!

- Maybe a Zeke or Floch cliffhanger next chapter? Wtf are they doing? Also will we ever see Historia again (not as flashback) before the final showdown? I hope

- I'd also like more Levi focus again, I need to know his thoughts!

- I'm soo looking forward to the new volume fake preview 😃

- My rate of this chapter: 9/10.

[grlfriends]

revolutionary girl utena review

ep 1-5

the plot is actually kinda different from what I thought ?? in my mind the plot was: utena was a girl in a princess school who each and every princess would be "conquered" (for a lack of better words rn) in a ceremonial duel by a prince who fancied them, maybe she didnt wanna wanna marry anyone or she liked Anthy already but anyway in my mind utena showed up in the ceremony with duel clothing and then, in a very brave tm like-scene, she would openly declare she refused to be conquered by anyone and tbh I'm not even sure how Anthy would come into the plot... but back into what actually happened in the episodes everything so far is very introductory and just showing what mechanics will be explored further down the line I think?? the op is really good too

also every boy so far reminds me so much of knights of the zodiac?? maybe it's just the design I guess...) and nanami can get these hands, jealousy is a disease and she's the sickest person on earth for all I know

dont ask me why bit I just feel like room of mirrors - gfriend has a very well fitting vibe for it but I'm not exactly sure why hm.... 🤔🤔

ep 6-12

ok so why does this school just have random animals around 😐 I could understand the horse but a bull and a kangaroo?? what ...

touga just says the most random dramatic things and then just casually says anyone who believes in friendship is a fool ?? the guy wouldnt last a day in the naruto universe tbh, he kinda irks me in some way but I'm not sure why so I'll live with this strange feeling for a while I guess

↳ okay so watching ep 10 made me especially kinda creeped out, I know I've watched only 10 eps so far but like can he fall downstairs and break a neck or something already ...

also haha what if I watched that bet on it fmv and gave myself a bunch of spoilers would that be funny or what 😍 this is why i cant have nice things yall.... hope my memory goes to shit when sleep so I dont remember about it this week while I finish it

I feel like the main thing on the episodes are parallels, one way or another I always feel like they're setting up parallels and giving me clues for a bigger picture and a deeper plot arc that is still to come and the bet on it fmv just made this impression stronger, also I wanna say it's done in a good way, one that is both mysterious (??) and "honey you've got a big storm coming" at the same time 🤔🤔 much to think about honestly

↳ just saw ep 11 and even though I already knew this was coming sooner or later it still felt like crap seeing utena lose to dick head, at the end of the episode when he says anthy was always just reflecting utena's own wishes for himemiya (in another way bc I dont remenber the exact words) it felt like 😐 bc yes I knew that (the way she was working her thoughts was simply a copy and paste of what utena was saying) at all time I kept those essays about anthy in my head, I dont think theyll be truly relatable to what I'm seeing rn but yeah anthy rights (even though I know you betray/cheat on utena down the line bc of the bet on it fmv but I'm sure you had your own motivation)

↳ saw ep 12 bc I just couldnt handle being in a cliffhanger and yeah it happened what I absolutely thought it would lmao not that it was that difficult to foresee but yeah, I kinda liked how utena did it for her instead of being like "oh I wanna save anthy from touga" and treating her like a damsel in distress (I know that's kinda her position as the rose bride for what I've been told so far and that this is a subject spoken about in many many essays on tumblr but yeah) bc so far she's been treated as a trophy and a way to get something else, for the green haired guy it was a way to see something eternal, for miki it was a way to hold on into his "shining thing" and for touga it seems (so far) like a way to manipulate (just like he does with nanami) and just mark his position as above everyone else as he seems to view himself?? man I might be saying random stuff rn but it kinda does makes sense in my mind with the information I've had to this point

ep 13-25

honestly 😐😐 through 9 whole episodes I felt like they were trying to make the side characters deeper and show their hidden face and motivations but it felt so shallow...... not even actually shallow, just not deep enough that it would make me care about these characters and the fact there was no actual build to showing us why we're getting to know these characters backgrounds was just kinda meh too, didnt really help that all episodes had all the same formula and the same timing just for the developers made in those episodes be forgotten at the end and also just that pink haired guy could be like "ah failure again", it felt like watching the same episode over and over again, it was really tiring and like?? girl help I do not care about these characters at all, I feel like it could have been done well (like the keiko ep in comparison to the furuba chapter that deals with the yuki appreciation (??) club president graduating.... the way this ep was done and setup didn't really bring me any emotions) overall not to my taste and tbh I feel like I could have skipped all those episodes except for maybe the miki and juri one so 😑

all nanami focused episodes are the worst so far, she's so boring and I cant stand now annoying she is, the diary episode?? the cow episode?? the episode when tsuwabiki fuels with utena?? honestly I know they're trying to show me a better and different side of her but it just doesnt!! work!! bc i feel no sympathy for her, my biggest wish rn is her and touga just disappearing and no more filler episodes🗣🗣

I thought akio was utena's prince?? but apparently he's just anthy's brother and like.. I'm do done with his little talks with utena and yadda yadda, I just wanna see their duel is that too much to ask I'm dying over here (if this lenga lenga continues until ep 25 i will be so mad bc why were so many episodes wasted on such boring and and not necessary side characters backstories?? idc about them at all man aaaaaaaaaa)

↳ ep 25 was good finally we got what we deserve boys 😭😭😭😭😭 can utena just beat up akio already I'm tired of his ass, he exhales both "I'm a feminist I even take women studies classes #herstory" and "if she breathes she's a thot" energy also he has 0 style that mullet is simply horrible I bet there's a hairstylist community who considers him a criminal bc like 😐 it is simply so bad (q bit less when it's tied up but when it's all lose jesus Christ)

also touga thinks he's suuuuch a genius, sooo smart like king, I do not care about you at all can you shut the fuck up please and can we tall about the pink haired guy episode?? wack. honestly thought it would be more emotional or something, I binge watched 12 episodes with his ugly haircut face and did not even feel a thing he can choke I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANTHY TAKING A SWORD OUT OF UTENA'S CHEST??? OSCAR WORTHY KINGS❗❗❗and then her lame ass brother being like "oh ho ho idk idk" shut up no one cares no one cares I swear to you no one cares shut uuuuup

ep 25-39

first of all, ep 25 was good but kinda reminded me of the nine episodes (13 until 21) where absolutely nothing interesting happened so I hope I'm wrong also can I just say just seeing the preview of the next episode made me roll my eyes so bad I almsot saw my brain?? bc yeah I'm fucking tired of nanami fosuced episodes she's so annoying oh my god nobody cares about a goddamn egg and much less one coming from her let her die or something pls she's so annoying there's nothing I've learned about her that was not against my own will I'm basically rotting over here 🤒

↳ ep 30 has me thinking Akio has a foot fetish or something 😐 bruh leave utena aloooooone I already know your plans and schemes you're not fooling anyone that's embarrassing for u and also... utena you're not very bright are you.... you start seeing every duelist you face with the same exact car and then when you see akio has the same car you didnt even stop to think about it that 1+1 equals 2 ... girl help yourself 😐

↳ yet again another nanami focused ep 😐😐😐😐😐 even though I do understand her better now I still don't find her particularly enjoyable to watch, call me a woman hater but like. idk she's still a bit annoying to me (but touga is straight up evil and is manipulating her so I feel bad for feeling like that tho.....)

↳ ok last 2 eps to go but listen. I thought the akio duel would have happened much sooner, maybe on ep 33 max but well didn't this age well lmao ngl, it did seem a bit too slow paced for my personal taste but also I feel like there's a certain level of drama that comes with slowing the pace down....

↳ aaaaaa yall I'm kinda 😢😭 over the ending omg........... even though it took the best of me to keep going in some parts I still enjoyed the ending aaaaa I thought i wouldnt really like it bc I just usually dont enjoy this type of ending but stil 😢😢😢😢 wait for me utena 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 girl I cried and then anthy walking in the end god utena and anthy holding hands 😭😭😭😭 akio can suck my dick

there's obviously many things I've missed or that I kinda didnt really pay attendance to so please dont take this serious, I was just writing as I watched the episodes so it's more like a thought compilation than anything, still I can see why there's many essays written about it and why it is held as a masterpiece by so many people

[crumblykookie]

Broken: Part 1

Characters: Eating Disorder!Jimin x Depressed!Reader

Warning: Mentions of depression and eating disorders. Also very angsty.

Word count: About 1.4k.

Summary: You are dating Park Jimin but what happens when you reveal your true feelings. 

You are walking to the BTS dorm. You are rushing to see Jimin because he’s at the dorms alone and you want to see him before they get back. 

You are probably about to make the best and worst decision of your life. It’ll cause you sadness but you know it’s what’s best for you. You need to do this for you and him. 

You are so lost in your thoughts that you barely notice that you’ve arrived. You knock on the door softly. Jimin answers right away with a bright smile. He won’t have that smile in a few minutes.

He sees your solemn expression and knows something is wrong. You’re not normally this serious looking. 

You walk into the dorm and face him right away to get this over with.

You look him in the eyes and with sadness in your voice say, “I think we should break up, Jimin.”

He looks at you with wide eyes in surprise and strains out the words, “Why? Y/N, I thought we were doing so good. We’ve been dating for 9 months.” Afterwards the tears start rolling down his face.

You smile a melancholy smile, and utter, “I’m doing this for both of us Jimin. It’ll be better in the end. As much as I love you, both of our healths are taking a toll.” The tears are streaming down your face, too.”

“What do you mean? I feel perfectly fine when I’m around you,” he responded with a confused expression. 

“Deep down you know that you’re not always fine around me. I can see you developing my bad habits. I can see me developing your, too. And as much as you don’t want to admit it, I have depression and you have an eating disorder! We are both so fucked up!” You yell at him with emotion. He looks at you with fury.

“What the fuck, Y/N! I don’t have an eating disorder and you don’t have depression. We aren’t fucked up. Stop that crazy talk. I love you and you love me. That’s what matters,” he yells back louder than you did.

You just shake your head at him, tears still streaming down. You retorted with, “Well considering last week I was diagnosed with depression, I’d say I have it. And well you may not be diagnosed, I had a friend who went down the same exact path as you. She barely ate and she almost died. You say you eat, but all you do is eat a full meal a day, if that. The rest of the day you ‘snack’.” 

He snapped back at you, “It’s not your body and you’re not an idol. You have no idea the pressure we’re put under. I can do what I want and I know the consequences. You know nothing!” His fists were clenched and that was it.

“You’re right I have no idea what you go through. You say you know the consequences and so do I. And I sure as hell won’t be here to witness those consequences,” you spat right back.

You turned around to leave. Jimin grabs your arm but you push him off of you. You were done with his bullshit.

You’re parting words to him, “Goodbye, Jimin, I hope you have a good life.” He didn’t respond and you left.

The tears were starting to slow down but were still coming. You stand in front of the door for a minute or two to calm down. Once you felt better you start to move. Unfortunately you happen to run into the rest of BTS.

They stared at you and you knew it was because you face was tear stained and eyes puffy. You probably look like a hot mess. 

Hoseok was first to speak up, “What’s wrong, Y/N? Did Jimin hurt you?” You wanted to laugh because he put Jimin as the one who hurt you.

You shook your head side to side. You mumbled out, “No, he didn’t hurt me. We hurt each other.”

They now looked at you like you were crazy. You knew they didn’t understand what you meant when you said you hurt each other.

“Did you break up, Y/N? Why did you?” Namjoon spoke in a quiet voice. You didn’t want to answer those questions but you know you should.

You now moved your head up and down. You managed to croak out, “ It was for the best, guys.” You wanted to say more, but didn’t know if you could without breaking down.

The boys looked at you with distain and disgust. How could you every think that? You knew at that exact moment you weren’t welcome anymore.

You went to push past them to leave, but Yoongi grabs your arm. You turn around and look at him.

He repeats what Namjoon said, “Why did you? Really, why, Y/N?’

“You want to know why. Because we’re both so broken and we need people who are fixers. He deserves so much better than what I can give him. My depressed ass can’t help him. And not that you say it out loud but he has some type of ED. Hell, most of you do,” you scoffed. They looked stunned and couldn’t respond.

You turned around and left before you could here a response. You were just so done with everything. You just wanted to be alone so you went back to your apartment.

You arrived at your apartment. You went inside and sat on the couch, right away. You turned on the TV and just relaxed. You didn’t even notice when you fell asleep.

You woke up the next morning to a kink in your neck and banging on the door. You didn’t feel like getting up so you didn’t. The banging eventually stopped and you looked at the time. It was 10:30 at night. Who could’ve been at your door?

You didn’t care you just wanted a comfy place to sleep so you headed back to your room. You changed into your PJs and climbed into the bed.

You were about to peacefully fall asleep until you realized that you were wearing one of Jimin’s shirts to sleep. You then decided that the next morning you were going to get all of his things together in a box.

The next morning...

You woke up to your alarm blaring at 9:00 in the morning. You had to do some work today. Cleaning out you ex-boyfriends things.

Before doing any of that you go to the kitchen and have breakfast. Just a standard bowl of cereal, nothing special. You finished it in record time. 

Now that you’re done with your breakfast you grab a cardboard box from the kitchen. You get to work.

You start in your room, since that is where most of his stuff in your apartment is. You grab his clothes from your drawers and put them in the box. You also grab his glasses that he always managed to forget at your apartment. You almost start to cry again at the reminiscing. 

You collect the rest of his bits and bobs from around your apartment and put them in the box. The last thing you put in was the key to the dorm. Your finally ready to give this stuff back, well as ready as you will be. Oh, who are you kidding you are no where close to being ready.

Before you left you grabbed another box so you can collect your stuff.

You then leave your apartment and start a journey to the place you never thought you would see again.

You arrive once again with a heavy box in your hands and knock. You knew someone would answer because they had a day off today.

To your surprise a girl you’ve never seen answers the door. 

You guys look at each other and say at the same time, “Who are you?”

Before you could respond you heard a voice in the background yell out, “Babe, who is at the door?” You couldn’t tell who the voice was. You heard footsteps approaching.

You didn’t care who the girl was just as long as those footsteps don’t belong to one person. If they belong to him you might just break even more.

He finally comes into sight and it’s....

A/N: Sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger. I just want to know if you guys would actually be interested in a part 2. 

[godshipsit]

after that meh buckleming mid season finale of course 12x09, written by our showrunner, was... better. i still think there are way too many things they have to deal with in not so many episodes, but that’s supernatural’s trademark so... it is what it is. enjoy my rambling comment on the episode. 

SPOILERS UNDER CUT

first watch, so im sorry for this lol ..  

1. personal opinion: i hate when the army is involved in any capacity in spn. i already thought that the 12x08 cliffhanger was really unwise, and how they solved the whole prison situation kind of confirmed it for me. 

2. i laughed so much at mick trying to convince the american hunters (depicted as barbarians) that they should trust the bmol. i mean, why should they trust your pretty face. 

3. i didn’t laugh when i realized that cas, despite everything, is part of the supernatural.. and the bmol want to eradicate the supernatural. (i called it here, whatever there is to call)

4. CAS IS SO DEVASTATED BC THE WINCHESTERS ARE MISSING IM CRYING ALL MY TEARS

5. i see that mary projects as much as her son, nice to know. sorry ma’am, blame buckleming for the mess of last episode’s, not cas. 

6. the sequence where we see sam and dean in prison, isolated and counting the days, really stressed me wow. 

7. ok let’s leave out the boring stuff and jump to the juicy stuff

8. dean immediately calling cas for help. the brothers trust him with their lives, and that’s a fact. (also dean knows cas’ number by heart, how cute)

9. if cas and mary had called the bmol immediately, this episode wouldn’t exist 

10. jensen voice: in fact, this episode doesn’t exist 

11. i’m sorry for my salty ass

12. either mick and mr ketch want to bang cas, or they’re extremely interested in him... as an angel. which is scary, for many reasons (many reasons = this whole episode)

13. there’s no way they’ve sent the most incompetent soldiers after sam and dean, those two keep resuscitating, i would’ve blown up the entire secret base and forest. (crowley has always been the smart one btw) 

14. SAM SHOOTING THAT GUY’S FEET AND LEAVING HIM THE FIRST AID KIT IS THE PUREST THING EVER I YELLED 

15. (btw can we stop writing these super secret prisons in the middle of nowhere? can this trend die for good?) 

16. so many epic lines .. “we’re the guys who save the world”. i mean, i personally hate them, but they’re great for edits.

17. hey there cas! how handy that the bmol are the supernatural equivalent of james bond. 

18. nobody helps anyone for free lol, what are these guys up to. 

19. “no loose ends” .. shit, mr sketchy and mick shady are definitely up to no good. they’re fancy af tho. 

20. WHY DO THE WINCHESTERS ALWAYS DO STUPID DEALS THAT ALWAYS HAVE THE WORST CONSEQUENCES FOR OTHER PEOPLE WHY WHY WHY 

21. dean looking at cas for the last time bc he’s clearly thinking of sacrificing himself DO NOT TOUCH ME (also, this scene doesn’t exist) 

22. will i ever stop being salty (i love you jensen)

23. ok so... the brothers being arrested and taken to a super secret prison thing was probably a really effective cliffhanger (no), but how could one solve this impossible situation? easy peasy. here comes the deus ex machina, the pinnacle of lazy writing. nah, okay, it can be a valid plot device, but unfortunately here it sacrifices the only recurring woc this show has ever had. the aggravating factor is that her death comes at castiel’s hand, who then goes on to give one of the most emotional, moving, beautiful speeches this show has ever delivered (misha’s acting was the icing on the cake).   dabb literally tossed a hand grenade and hid behind one of the fan favorites delivering a tear-jerking speech. he’s a good writer, so this wasn’t accidental. i think this has to be acknowledged and discussed. 

24. i understand that billie was probably a carver’s “leftover” (that word is ugly, but i can’t think of other english words rn) they didn’t know what to do with, still there’s no reason, at this point, for lucifer to be still alive while billie had to die to fix a lazy cliffhanger. it’s really insensitive, to say the least. IF she’s really dead.

25. which makes me think of the possibility that she’s not really dead. i know that reapers are angels since s9 (thank you buckleming again), but she wasn’t like other reapers, right? maybe she's gonna pull a rowena and come back, angry as fuck. (someone write a fic about this, and i can assure you it will be better than anything we’re getting next this season) 

26. which, of course, is going to be a huge problem for cas. i know this show has huge problems with canon and loose ends, but whether billie is really gone for good or not, she said that if you break a deal made in blood, “there's consequences on a cosmic scale”. maybe this was just a line to justify cas’ actions immediately after and the billie’s killing, but then cas says this: “You made a stupid deal, and I broke it”.  who cares how he broke it, or that billie is gone, he still broke it. 

27. which brings us back to the bmol... because those guys don’t want loose ends. they want to make america safe again. as mick shady says, he wants a world where “no one has to die because of the supernatural”. if cas fucks up on a cosmic scale, shit’s about to come maybe. 

28. i’m not sure how i feel about billie’s death. she was the only threat to sam and dean. i mean, death is dead, god is on their side, i guess even amara now. these guys are potentially immune to death. so, what can threaten them now? i suppose the fear of losing the people they love. which is scary for reasons. 

29. (tw bad thoughts, also implied suicidal behavior) mary deciding to step up and kill herself to save her children wasn’t just maternal instict, if you know what i mean. cas saved her, recklessly breaking a deal that could have consequences on a cosmic scale. cas isn’t in a good place at the moment. cas has clearly stated that he would do anything to keep the winchesters safe. i’m a bit scared for what’s about to come. 

30. YOU MEAN TOO MUCH TO ME. 

31. cas is always gonna save the winchesters, but who’s gonna save cas....? also I LOVE CASTIEL SO MUCH WOW

32. anyway, this episode hurt, but hurt so good. thank you dabb. 

33. but also fuck you for billie.