#like omg poor neal

[bullet-prooflove]

Hello again! I simply adored the headcanons you came up with for Matthew and Avery's story like omg it's all so good? Such delicious angst and lovely romance! Your backstory for Matthew is incredibly sad, but it also fits his character perfectly. I've always had a similar headcanon that he must've been very poor growing up and has a deep resentment of Neal because of it. His thick NJ accent (I have family from the "poor side" of Jersey and he sounds a lot like them) compared to Neal's upper class way of speaking is a big indicator of that for me. And I love that idea you came up with of the two of them often in each other's orbit by accident, but then Matt starts intentionally creating these "coincidences" for them. That's so cute and funny! I can easily picture it in my mind. I can see Avery snatching up some priceless pieces of art and just when she's about to leave Matt shows up like "I hate to interrupt your grocery shopping sweetheart but I'm afraid you've got too much stuff for the "10 Items or Less" checkout 😉" and then he takes some of the art she had and leaves lol.

And oh my goodness your little scenario of them casing a place as a couple and abruptly sitting down and asking each other how they felt about a particular painting from an emotional standpoint is super sweet I would definitely be the same as Avery and fall in love right then and there lmao.

Also, I saw that you're now writing for THE Daniel LaRusso yaaayyy I'm ridiculously excited! Ralph Macchio was one of my first childhood crushes, and to this day he is still a celebrity crush of mine. And Danny is a delightful character and I especially love how the actors and writers on Cobra Kai have made both him and Johnny evolve as people post the movie canon! So yeah, expect some requests for Danny from me in the future as well as my typical requests for Matt lmao

Anywho, hope you're having a good day/night!

- Kelnon

Hi Kelnon,

I honestly think Matt has real issues with getting in his own way. He hates the vulnerability that comes with being with Avery but craves it at the same time, it’s a constant war for him. He’s been taught it shows weakness, but with her it doesn’t feel like that, it’s almost natural. It fucks with him a little, esp when he starts revealing more about himself.

I think for me the indicator was the distain in which Neal said Blue Collar criminal, like it’s beneath him. Arguably Matt’s the one that has to work harder because he doesn’t have the same opportunities as Neal.

I think for both of them there’s always been an attraction but Avery is usually guarded when it comes to her work life and personal life intermingling so there wasn’t much opportunity to spend time together until he started orchestrating his own meet cutes. I also think he likes to see her a little riled up because it breaks that cold professional persona she’d created, he started to see the real her and he kinda likes it. I imagine that’s how their first time started. He turned up at another one of her heists, stole a bunch of art, they’re arguing/negotiating. She’s berating him, telling him what an asshole he is and he’s like but you kind of like it though don’t you, that I challenge you, I think you like it more than you let on and then he kisses her and it all goes to hell and their fucking amongst the artwork. He wakes up and all of it’s gone, he’s not even mad, he’s just standing there with half naked with the sheets wrapped around his waist smiling because she challenges him a little too.

I do think that Matt has a deeper appreciation for art, we see a little of it throughout the series. He has an appreciation for beautiful things. I feel like maybe as a kid when he needed to escape his home situation, museums were his refuge and that’s how his love started, I feel for him it’s more about the history and feeling the weight of it in each of the items.

I am writing for Danny, I write a small piece involving a hotel bar for him and his lady love. I really like the way they’ve expanded his character and built out him and Johnny. It’s a really well written series.

Feel free to request as much as you want!

[reefer-reelz-n-reviews]

Scream 2 (1997)

Smoking: Splatter

I think I will go up to Scream 3. I need to do some kind of Christmas Movies in December right? Lol

After all this stuff that happened with poor Will Smith, I’m honestly happy to see Jada Pinkett Smith with her death scene at the beginning of this movie. I guess there is a theme with more famous people in the beginning of these movies. I never really thought of it this way.

Love how you know this is the beginning of caller ID 😝

I completely forgot Sarah Michelle Gellar is in this movie. Love me some Buffy!!!! And how Ironic that Matthew Lillard was in the first one, and she is in the second one and they are both in Scooby Doo.

Liev Schreiber, I think he’s a great actor. I really liked him in Salt. He’s good at being bad/creepy.

OMG Portia de Rossi. She is soooo young in this! She’s being her normal semi-bitchy self. Wonder if she had met Ellen yet by this time.

Snack time. Left over cheese fries and spicy cheese curds 🤤

2 for 2! Neve Campbell hits Courtney Cox. Not surprising. She deserves it in both movies.

I love Elise Neal’s definition of FINE. Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. I total agree with that. Any time someone says their fine I imagine Ross from Friends in the episode where he gets drunk on margaritas 🤣

How ironic. SMG has a sorority sister named Dawn just like in Buffy, though that ends up being her real sister, now a sorority sister. But I digress.

Yes, run up the stairs to get away from the killer 🙄 and I just realized in the Scary Movie why Anna Faris throws things down the stairs at the killer, including her grandma 😂 I also think I understand the whole “Strong hand” thing because of David Arquette.

Honestly if I was NC I don’t think I would date anyone after what I went through. At least not for a very long time. Granted Jerry O’Connell is cute and everything. But you know he’s gotta be psycho right?

And I mean Timothy Olyphant always gives me the creeps. No matter what movie he is in.

��� NC completely called Tori Spelling playing her in the movie, it was mentioned in the first one and here she is giving an interview about being in “Stab”. And how funny that David Schwimmer was brought up when CC and DA were both in friends and here, he is mentioned in it lol.

😂 now Jennifer Aniston was brought up. Let’s see if Lisa Kudrow, or either of the Matthews are mentioned next.

Poor Jamie Kennedy. You just had to go and piss off the killer. Now he definitely won’t make it into any of the other movies 😂

How old school that Instant Message looks 🤣

Now we have CC and DA trying to hide from the killer. And not doing a very good job. And sucks that even though they didn’t actually have sex DA gets stabbed yet again. And this time CC gets to watch it.

Of course, the cops that are supposed to keep NC safe make jokes about killing them as far as keeping the location secret and then they die. Like that should be part of the rules with JK. Just saying.

How gross is it to see someone with a pole through their head 🤢

Yes, move ever so slowly when trying to get away from the killer. Typical horror movie.

And surprise surprise, Billy’s mother is part of the dual killers. She leaves her son behind and then all of the sudden she acts like she cares about him after he’s dead, and says this is all out of revenge. Maybe you should have taken your son with you and none of this would have even happened to begin with.

We have the end of the movie. Hope you enjoyed this entry 😊

Toke on! 😶‍🌫️

-RRR

[hilarychuff]

i am not a steddie and so have not searched the fandom to see if this has already been done but if it hasn’t i just want you guys to know that i think you could really enjoy a steddie uptown girls au and a steddie overboard au!!!

consider:

uptown girls molly (brittany murphy) - spoiled orphan princess steve harrington suddenly poor???? what’s that about???? neal (jesse spencer) - hustling musician obviously eddie munson. originally sort of aloof but can’t resist the appeal of music royalty. later catches feelings and has to pull off a grand gesture with a musical performance.  huey (donald faison) - robin, obviously. the cool chill bestie who pulls bitches ingrid (marley shelton) - nancy!! can be a lil uptight but has your back. will give you the kick in the ass you need until you grow up.  ray (dakota fanning) - i want to say dustin but keeping in mind larger casting context i think el is the best choice here. can’t relate to the other kids her age, but desperately wants to, needs to deal with their feelings surrounding their parent in an essentially comatose state tucked away in the library.  roma (heather locklear) - hopper. accepted the parenting role but is honestly kind of absent. needs a wake up call to figure out how to communicate with his daughter bc he’s married to his job. probs does not have an affair with eddie (although dealer’s choice) but maybe has some sort of uhhhhh drug business arrangement idk 

overboard joanna/annie (goldie hawn) - steve it’s short for steven/stephen (???). has some unpleasant wife who mooches off his money and probably wants to kill him a lil. wearing flashy fashion and serving cunt while on his yacht. kind of a brat but also a total homemaker once he learns what an oven is or whatever.  dean (kurt russell) - eddie!! overworked underpaid sexy titties out in a lil tanktop hardworking guy with a flair for the creative. collects lil lost sheep flock of kids but is often not super responsible about it. perfectly happy to be a lil morally flexible and essentially kidnap steve as karmic justice but then also fall in love with him.  the kids - dustin, obviously!!! max another good candidate. honestly why not do just the whole gang??? lucas and mike and will and el. them alternately punking steve super hard in the start and then being like “no don’t take away our steve that’s our mom 🥺” by the end. are they foster kids?? is eddie running some sort of summer camp for them instead of their actual parent??? i let you all take it from here but i trust there’s a good solution  that one mean teacher - principal higgins obvs. judges eddie and gets put in his place by steve.  grant (edward hermann) - could be an oc, could be maybe carol??? you could do nancy if you’re a nancy hater. omg. you could do billy. actually billy would kind of be great here. 

anyway!!!! have at it or please feel free to weigh in lol. and feel free to write!! i love to come up with an au but finding the motivation to write about my own blorbos is hard enough!!

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x19 Sisters

Omg yes!! Favourite episode of the season by far and one of my favourite episodes in general. I am not emotionally ready!! I wanted this for so long! For Zelena to meet Cora and for Zelena, Cora and Regina to be together and for Zelena and Regina to reconcile! I wasn’t even expecting reconciliation on Cora’s part but by God, I love it! It’s all I ever wanted and more! So excited to rewatch now. 

Listen Hades, I like Wicked Hell and all but please don’t give Zelena an ultimatum like that, where it’s her sister or him.

God, I love the Zelena and Regina dynamic! One of my favourites in this show.

I remember I read a fic where Zelena and Regina met when they were kids and became friends. Then this episode came a long and it gave me so much Deja Vu. The writer must have been psychic, coz it was so similar!

I always love Cora’s theme.

Cora has a wand?!

When Henry Sr. said Regina didn’t have any other family with magic, Cora looked like she knew immediately that he was wrong. So, either Zelena displayed magic as a baby in the short time Cora was with her or Cora’s been watching her. Considering Cora knew exactly where to look for her, it may suggest she has been watching her.

I don’t think Belle can here you, Rumple, dude. She’s kinda trapped busy being mentally cooked in a fiery room.

Why are the guards dressed like the Programmers in Spy Kids 3?

Captain of Hearts is back, baby!

Cora watching Zelena like a freaking creep!

Zelena is Jean Grey, confirmed!

What a freaking bastard! I hate Zelena’s dad so much! He’s an evil child abuser and by the looks of it, he’s physically abused her before and probably will again. How could Cora send her back to that monster?! Not that she’s much better herself. 

I still think either Zelena’s father killed Zelena’s adoptive mother in a fit of rage when Zelena was very young, or Cora did out of jealousy after watching them.

Well, at least Cora stopped him from beating Zelena, at least this time. The way her face dropped when she saw him shouting though.

At least Cora tells Zelena that her father’s wrong for making her feel badly for who she is. But is she just manipulating? It’s so hard to tell with her, and that’s one of the things I love about her!

David and James meeting for the first time! Omg, I just want them to get along!!!!

David said he was glad to finally see his twin! What could have been!!

Come on, James. She’s your niece! You could be a great uncle to her! 

It’s kinda weird when you think about it but, because he and David are identical twins, does that mean Emma and Neal have 50 percent of the same DNA as him? 

My girl Zelena could do complicated magic as a kid without any instruction! Powerful bby!

Apparently Zelena is supposed to be 12 here and Regina 10, so they’re 2 years apart!

Zelena was such a pure soul as a kid. She deserved so much better in life! 

Aww! They met as bubbies!

Robin was just about to up and leave the baby with Emma and James.

I really love James and Cruella and their dynamic. I wanna see more of them together! More of them in general!

Ahgffgvhnff!!!! Zelena and Cora meeting!! All I ever wanted!!

Awww! To think, Zelena was probably Regina’s only childhood friend. And Cora took that memory away from them D,:

After all these years, Zelena can finally talk about the thing that hurt her most deeply with her mother!

That’s the thing though. Cora didn’t just give her away. She abandoned her in the woods to die! 

Omg they’re hugging! Aggtfhutdd! I’m gonna cry! Staaap!!

I do think Cora is genuine with what she’s saying. You can see the guilt on her face as Regina sneaks around. 

The intensity!! Freaking love it!

Young Zelena’s: “I promise, I’ll be good!” omg flashbacks to the Stable Boy! This is heartbreaking! Regina and Zelena are trying so desperately to hold onto each other and screaming for each other! I can’t!!

Young Regina: “Don’t worry, Zelena. No matter what she does, we’re sisters, and nothing can change that! I will find you! I promise!” Ugh! My heart! Staaap!

Cora: “My Zelena.” Agggggh!!! My eyes!! The tears!! Help!

Omg they’re holding hands! Staaaaap!!

James! That’s your own niece! God, I forgot he attacked her like that!

David is right. Listen to him James! You’re brothers!  

Cruella: “Jimmy! Jimmy!” omg, I love them! She just wanted them to just leave and head to safety.

James!! Oh, my freaking God, no!! I hate this. I just wanted them to reconcile. Honestly out of everyone who got thrown into the river of souls, this one hurt me the most. I just love what could have been with these twins! I need to read fics of them reconciling or growing up together. I am in pain! David is in pain. That’s still his bro, y’all.

I wanted so much more of James. I freaking love him & just wanted he and David to be the best bros!!

Cora’s like, “Well, sh*t, I’m going to hell.”

Cora: “Just promise me you’ll hold onto each other.” And they do! By s7 they’re freaking besties for life! And it’s the most beautiful relationship development. 

Cora (tearing up): “We never even got to say hello.” My heart!!!!

No! 

Yes, she probably deserves to go to hell, but I love her okay! (Only joking, no one deserves to go to hell. That concept is so messed up & mentally torments both children and adults alike!! But the origins are interesting.) 

Oh, it’s okay! She’s okay, guys! 

Look at her daughters holding hands and watching!

Poor Henry, lol. Stuck with Cora forever.

Zelena: “I’ve waited my whole life to have a mother and now she’s gone.” Regina: “Oh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” They remember their time as kids together! So sweet!

Zelena and Regina are hugging!!!! My life is complete!!!!

Gold: “Zelena, meet my father, this 14-year-old boy.”

Peter Pan, you little sh*t.

Well, this episode absolutely killed me!! I loved it so freaking much!!

[jean----ralphio]

BoB liveblog ep 7

Episode 7: The Breaking Point. YEAH, OF MY FUCKING HEART

I HATE THIS EPISODE. I HATE IT WITH THE FIERY INTENSITY OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS.

00:00 I really don’t wanna do this you guys.

00:38 Can’t we just pretend this episode doesn’t exist?

01:22 OMFG I CAN’T ALL THE SWEET IRL MEN ARE CRYING NOOOO IT HURRRTS

04:05 RICH! Ok I feel a little better. Ahaha, he’s growing a beard. It’s got nothing on the quarantine beard he’s rocking nowadays tho

04:22 That whole scene is hilarious but I’m too distracted by Rich to appreciate it properly

05:18 Horsie

05:30 Hey Fassy

05:57 He’s so obsessed with the Luger, oh Hoob ☹

06:07 Ahhh that second where he looks into the camera and fires ☹ He’s so happy

06:31 IT’S SHIFTY MY ANGEL SON, MY ANGEL CHILD, LOOK AT HIIIIIMMMM!!!! MY BABY! I’M SO HAPPY! THIS IS THE ONLY GOOD PART OF THE EPISODE! HE’S SO HUMBLE AND PERF ILY SHIFTY

06:51 He is such a fucking angel, I swear. “What happened to the horse?” PETA would be pleased you care, baby.

07:01 Look at my son, look at his little angel face

07:27 Buck seems a little better??

07:47 Gold.

“Shut up boys.”

“Shutting up, Sarge.”

But notice my angel is perfectly well-behaved

08:00 “That was no rifle.” Shifty just Knows Things.

“What do you see, Shift?”

“Nobody out there.” HE’S JUST A BOSS SNIPER ANGEL ELF BABY OK

08:15 Oh Hoob

08:43 Oh God

09:03 ROE OMG NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES “Did you think it was a German leg, Hoob?” I MEAN LMAO BUT NO

09:33 Nooooooooooo

09:44 Oh God, the way Buck and Perco are cradling his face ☹

10:04 Husbands, do something, reincarnate him or something

10:32 Oh Dick is shivering aw

10:38 Lip, baby, no, do not cover for than incompetent POS

10:48 The husbands are unimpressed

11:39 Nice gloves tho Dike

11:57 “At present, as per usual, but I’ll clarify that with you at a later time.” No. No. He’s asking now. He needs to know now. Wtf.

12:39 IS THAT RICH??

13:12 RICH! BEARDED RICH!

13:23 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS

13:26 Just gonna pause here a little while, excuse me

13:47 Lip is such a boss. We love you Lip

14:13 Bill’s laugh <3 RICH’S SMILE <333

14:48 Dick omg your flirting, so cute. They are in love.

15:20 Fassy is judging you… that means Alicia Vikander is coming for you…

15:50 Omg Nix knows his husband so well

16:24 Aw, Bill and Babe <3 BROTP

17:33 Bill, sweetie, no, I’m sorry but Buck is not fine!

17:58 Oh God the foreboding. Rich ☹ <3

18:01 WTF is Luz smoking LMAO

18:33 RIIIIICH

19:08 “Well, they had a point. You’re an idiot.” Oh Penk. I’ll miss you Penk.

19:31 UGH GTFO. To be fair the actor does a great job with this role.

20:01 Dike is so random. But it’s nice he’s taking an interest??

21:20 NIX LMAO

21:33 Ugh, Dick. Stop. I know it’s to establish a sense of normalcy and ritual but Come. On. Buddy. Lol I love how Nix is just like LMAO NO I’M NOT GOING. I wish I could just say no when asked to do things by my bosses. We know it’s cos Nix can’t bear to be apart from his husband for so long <3

22:33 Guys, don’t be mean. Fassy, no, come on.

22:53 Wtf are Penk and Rich doing…

23:05 LMAO @ Dick and Sink.

“Got to keep the morale up for the folks back home.”

“Why?”

“Damned if I know.”

Iconic. Valid.

23:34 Lol my Joe/Charlie thought he was gonna get in trouble, but Dad just wanted to nag <3

24:24 Oh Bill <3 “Tied me own boots once last week, all by meself.” <3333 Bill please never change.

24:30 Rich <3333

24:36 Riiiiichhhhhh <3

24:48 Johhny ‘unimpressed’ Martin is already looking unimpressed, new kid, watch out, you’re not off to a great start.

24:56 Rich’s helmet still has bullet holes from the last episode, love the continuity <3

25:07 “You’ll find out, son.” Oh, Alley <3

25:17 Rich is hilarious in this scene, he’s having so much fun <3

25:22 Hey Lieb, I’ve missed you

25:46 Riichhh <3

25:53 OMFG that exchange!

               “How are those nuts, sarge?”

               “Doin fine, Bill, nice of you to ask.”

               Wtf Lip!!

26:05 Bye, Fassy!

26:26 Even when he’s blurred by snow, Speirs is intimidatingly good-looking.

27:01 He’s so polite but so scary

27:23 You’re hot, Speirs, so I automatically trust you. Not sure what that says about me but it’s probably not good tbh

27:57 Joe/Charlie has been back five seconds and he’s already out for blood.

28:58 Hey Lee

30:00 Oh God

31:33 Oh no, Joe/Charlie, my baby ☹

33:39 Bill’s here, baby, it’s OK

34:10 I can’t deal with the hilarity of Babe blocked in by the tree while Joe/Charlie is in such a bad way and being done so dirty

34:56 Oh GOD

35:28 Bill </3

36:11 My thoughts exactly, Luz

36:42 Buck ☹

37:41 “Hey Joe, I told you I’d beat you back to the states.” Bill don’t me laugh while I’m crying. Aw, we’ll miss you <3

37:59 Not really the time but fuck it, I am totally digging Luz’s hair now

38:26 I’m so shook. I’ve watched this series a billion times but it still hurts me. Scene after scene, Joe/Charlie in pain, Buck screaming for a medic, God Neal and Kirk are so good.

39:18 Oh God, Buck

40:00 Rich I love you

40:44 Rich <3 ☹

41:22 Noooooooo </3

41:44 No. No. NO.

41:59 NO. NOPE. CANON NOT ACCEPTED. They’re fine. They’re fine, they’re just off-screen for the rest of the series, chillin with Hoob and Renee on like a nice beach somewhere. Drinking maitais and maragaritas and building sandcastles and shit.

44:00 Hit Malarkey the hardest? NO FUCKING WAY, LIP, HIT ME THE HARDEST, MORE LIKE! But in all seriousness, can you imagine losing your friends, not having a body to bury or time to grieve ugh ☹ </3 OK I concede that Malarkey and I can share the grief 50/50. No wait. 60/40. In favour of me.

45:15 Malark, it’s what Hoob would have wanted. I’d ask him but he’s busy sunbathing and keeping the drinks topped up

46:57 We love you Buck

47:14 Bull <3

47:43 Lieb <333

48:10 Hang on, sweetie, Dad isn’t back yet

48:50 It’s OK, Lip, sweetie, you can do it.

49:38 Lip, listen to me, your Dad’s going to fix everything in about ten, fifteen minutes. And he’ll get you a hot boyfriend in the process. It’s all going to be OK.

50:05 Dick, honey, Dike doesn’t understand a thing you’re saying

50:25 Dike’s like lol who the fuck was that guy?

51:17 Lieb is so blood-thirsty <3

51:23 DON’T STOP RUNNING, IDIOT. NEVER STOP RUNNING! THE REST OF US LEARNT THAT IN THE FIRST EPISODE! GOD!

51:40 WTF ARE YOU DOING, YOU FUCKING WASTE OF OXYGEN

52:09 Poor Lee

52:22 NO, FUCK, OMG

53:14 Don’t send my Lee alone!

53:33 Bull. A cigar. Right now? I like Johnny’s beard, suits him.

54:13 “THEY SHOT ME IN MY ASS, BOYS!” Aw Perco. Iconic.

54:36 Legit one of my fave scenes in the history of television. Dick is just so beside himself and desperate and helpless watching his sons stuck and in so much trouble. He’s in full Dad mode, about to run in there to save his boys. Then, and this is so subtle but it’s my fave bit, HE CUTS OFF SINK. HE IGNORES/SPEAKS OVER SINK. DICK! SPEAKS! OVER! SINK! IN WHAT UNIVERSE WOULD HE EVER DO THAT?! ON WHAT PLANET WOULD HE EVER BE SO DISRESPCTFUL?! THIS ONE, COS HIS SONS NEED HIM NOW AND BEING POLITE AND ADHERRING TO PRINCIPLE AND RANK DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER WHEN EASY IS IN TROUBLE! AND THEN HE CALLS UP OUR BOY SPEIRS. AND SPEIRS IS SO FUCKING GUNG-HO, BOUNCING ABOUT READY TO SLAUGHTER EVERYONE, SO FUCKIN EXCITED!!

And then there’s Nix, lmao, chillin with his binoculars, super relaxed as long as his husband stays safe, tbh.

55:06 Oh that was the new boy, aw

55:12 BOSS BAMF ICONIC WE STAN

55:20 Here you go, Lip, one BF courtesy of your Dad lol

55:48 Oh GOD I MISS RICH

56:24 LMFAO was that the haystack Dike was behind??

57:00 I.C.O.N.I.C.

57:23 “The astounding thing was, that after he hooked up with I company, he came back.” Annnnnd Lip’s in love.

57:49 Aw happy boys

58:09 Noooooo they’ve been through enough! I’VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH THIS EPISODE OK, FUCK!

58:23 Go on, my angel son, you can do it.

58:36 Go, son. I love you.

58:43 Yes. Good boy.

59:26 Aw Bull piggybacking Perco <3

1:00:23 Oh yay! The church scene!

1:00:39 Look at my angel son <3

1:00:48 Hey Lieb

1:00:54 IT’S TAB! HEY TAB!

1:01:09 Babe <3 GRANT <3

1:01:29 Ahahaha Roe, I see you strategically placed yourself where you could stare at Babe 😉

1:01:59 Only 63 men left? Oh </3

1:02:00 Ahh Joe/Charlie <3 Bill <3 We love and miss you

1:02:20 RICH <333333 I LOVE YOU RICH <3333333 GOODBYE RICH <333333333333

1:02:39 Fuck Speirs is hot

1:02:53 The flirting <3 shooting looks at each other aw

1:03:09 Boys, stop checking each other out. You’re literally in a church full of nuns, go somewhere else to expend your sexual tension, jeez.

1:03:41 Flirting via talk of Roman soldiers, I dig it

1:04:28 Oh God, guys, this bit. Other than the propensity of my angel son, compared to usual, this is the only good part of the episode, I am here for the Speirton!

               “You don’t have any idea who I’m talking about, do you?” HIS FACE IS SO SOFT

               “No, Sir.” Lip, sweetie.

               “Hell, it was you, first sergeant.”

Speirs’ is in love right back. And his continued flirting re battlefield commission GOD. The way he looks at Lip… you deserve the hottest guy in the whole show, Lip, proud of you sweetie.

1:06:48 Annnnnd everything fucking hurts.

 To summarise, I am kinda appeased by the glorious glory that is Spierton. Rich and Penk and Hoob and Renee are FINE. THEY JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE OFF-SCREEN. IT’S FINE. I’M FINE ABOUT IT.

[mrs-evadne-cake]

I love your insights of the show! Thoughts on Billy? Do you think in the case he survived, he could have been part of the Party, the Scoops Troop or the Monster Hunting trio? Also, in which family situation would be Max on season 4? The writers will touch the matter she's still living with abusive parents and was left with unsolved feelings overall?

Hi Anon! Thank you so much, that’s really nice to hear!

In order to try to uphold my reputation as a straight shooter I will preface this with the fact that I truly viscerally, despise Billy and consider the idea that you naturally love or should forgive someone for truly horrible behavior on the basis of them being family, or that he was probably secretly a good brother to Max despite literally everything we see being contrary to that to be legitimately concerning.

That said- I DIDN’T hate Billy as a character in S2- I mean, I did hate him obviously because he was repulsive as a human being but I really liked the inclusion of him in the show and he was a great version of the over-the-top brutal-too-old-for-high-school-looking-classic-1980′s -Henry Bowers-style bully (Omg...I just realized...are there Henry Bowers fangirls? You know what, don’t tell me I don’t want to know) and that was awesome . 

And then...S3. Oh, S3 Billy. This is the only time I will ever type these words but... Billy (and the audience in general) deserved better solely because literally everything about the character development was so stunningly lazy. Why is he getting along better with Max? Why does she give a shit about him now? (because they’re family is not being accepted as an answer at this time) Just shrugging and shoving ESSENTIAL character development that fundamentally changes a core relationship dynamic between seasons is insane and then making him a mind-controlled husk of a hive mind instead of a Renfield with some measure of agency makes sure he doesn’t get real development during the season since he’s spending most of it literally not himself. And then to take what could have been really interesting aspects of the character (the complexity of the cyclical nature of abuse, the conundrum it could have been for El if the fact that he was at the very least emotionally abusive to Max and had tried to hurt Lucas had actually been examined instead of brushed under the rug and how she should feel about that as someone that survived horrific abuse from a father figure and very much DOES NOT want to hurt people and if she sees parallels with Kali, more into how the Mind Flayer’s MO is practically Silent Hill-level representative of the psychology of being dominated and the parallels with his father, etc. etc.) and reduce it to ‘Look, he used to be a cute a kid before he was abused. He had a mom!’ which is basically the ‘The sky is blue and water is wet’ lowest common denominator of manipulating sympathy for violent offenders and abusers... 

Lazy.

I’m not even going to get into the fact that his big character moment was basically the ‘Save Martha’ scene from Batman V Superman.

Do you think in the case he survived, he could have been part of the Party, the Scoops Troop or the Monster Hunting trio?

No, in all three cases. He has either beat the ever-loving shit out of or threatened to beat the shit out of one member of all three groups for absolutely no reason. This is a poor basis for a friendship.

I guess at least Robin and Erica don’t know him, though I honestly can’t imagine Robin would be able to spend more than twenty seconds tolerating his hyper-masculine bullshit without wanting to commit homicide. And I won’t even go into why he and Erica obviously wouldn’t get along because Dacre Montgomery will swing down from the rafters to tell me ‘people like that’ just means he hates nerds that wear bandannas.

Also, in which family situation would be Max on season 4? The writers will touch the matter she's still living with abusive parents and was left with unsolved feelings overall?

Hm. I don’t think there’s any evidence that Susan is abusive- passive and complicit in abuse obviously, but not actively abusive and S2 Max seemed to mostly be afraid of Billy, not Neal, which obviously doesn’t mean he never would/will harm her but indicates to me that Billy was singled out in the household. 

I honestly don’t know what we’ll see of Max’s family even though it would make sense to sort of be a big deal that didn’t stop them from shoe-horning her character development in between seasons last time so...

Thanks for the ask Anon! I hope it was satisfying even though I obviously have pretty strong personal takes on this one.

[evans-heaven]

Notes on Defending Jacob ep.4 (for fun lol, also not spoiler free)

This post is gonna be shorter (maybe lol) than the first one cause it's just one episode this time around! Definitely not crying about that 😅

Just a reminder, I'm not a pro and this isn't really a review, but I am shoved rather far up Chris Evans' bum, soooooo that should tell you everything you need to know before you read these notes (or any I make in the future) 🤣😋

Another reminder that I'm not asking anyone to take me seriously. I make these notes because I enjoy doing them.

K I'm done let's get into it!!

I knew the swimming scene was coming in this episode but damn, right off the bat huh? I'm okay with the heart attack tho so no sweat 🤣

Laurie sitting in her car in the parking lot outside the store, immediately I knew why, and I think a lot of us did too. It was so sad to see. Really places us inside the depth of the situation, even if its such a small action, it speaks volumes. Poor thing must have been tired physically and mentally. My heart got torn in two every time I saw her on screen throughout the episode. I just wanna give her a damn hug 😩😭

The juxtaposition of Andy and Laurie's faces during the meeting with Joanna, while subtle, says a helluva lot about how they feel. It was such amazing facial acting. Its clear from their expressions alone, who knows the story is bs and probably will admit it, and who also knows the story is bs, but definitely won't admit it.

The way Jacob and Joanna bounced off of each other as he continued his (bs) story, was intense, and the score added to it. Jacob's rising nerves led to mine doing the same, and I even found myself trying to figure out how he could have told the story better. Joanna's expression, the 'this lie ain't shit' one, was also quite influential. Like, you wanna help this 14 year old kid, but he can't even help himself and shit just keeps piling up.

Andy babe I know thats your kid, you wanna protect and coddle him but the police was the appropriate choice of contact. And clearly theres some deeper shit going down. He didn't call you or anyone else because it's not as it seems.

"Our memories are often less reliable than we think, particularly in moments of stress" PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who immediately thought of Laurie's memory of Jacob at the bowling alley. Like obviously it was a 3 second scene, and it seemed pretty telling, but what if that's only part of it? Or what if shes not remembering it the way it went down? Like, her kid was accused of murder, and what she thinks would make it make sense might be plaguing her and being twisted by her, because of stress and fear.

My immediate reaction to Laurie's rant at Jacob was to yell "I'M SORRY" 😭 legit felt like sis was reading ME the riot act. Stress is just piling up on her and she will not have her kid acting like everything has no reason to be the way it is. Waiting in parking lots for groceries to open is not normal, having all your friends alienate you is not normal, being the talk of the town for negative reasons is not normal. So sit tf down, eat your unseasoned food and stop complaining.

In that one moment, for Andy, everything was okay as he and Jacob sat watching the movie. Until, he realized everything wasn't okay. He just had to remember that his kid, who sat there, care free, laughing at the film, was gonna be on trial for murder. It's as easy to forget as it is to remember. Seeing Andy's face change so subtly, from a smile to worried gaze, broke my heart.

Andy saying 'of course not' when Laurie asked if there was a part of him that thinks he might have done it. Who was he trying to convince?

👏🏽LET👏🏽ME👏🏽TELL👏🏽Y'ALL👏🏽SOME👏🏽THING👏🏽

That acting in the scene where Andy met Matthew? That perfect mix of chill and resolve (for lack of better word) in the way Andy spoke? The 'don't fuck with me' energy that radiated off of him? Where is the Emmy?? WHERE IS IT???

Andy's just getting increasingly desperate and its lowkey unsettling. Idc if hes a snacc, dude is being a little ridiculous and needs to do himself a favor and see things from his wife's perspective. I know it may be hard but I don't even wanna imagine where his denial is gonna take him. Also the protectiveness leading him to burst into his kid's room in a very embarrassing way was...cringe 😅

As much as I wanted Laurie to have felt normal for once since everything went down, even for a fucking hour or two, I lowkey was waiting for some shit to happen in the diner. It just seemed too good to be true. The heartbreak/shock on Laurie's face when she found out was too real.

I'm interested to see Andy's meeting with his dad. I know its gonna be difficult/uncomfortable and the amazing acting I know we're gonna see will convey that really well. Also lowkey some shade from Laurie in that scene, I love 🤣

A few more short notes:

Andy ffs your kid's story sucks for a reason 🤦🏾‍♀️

Needa know the conversation Derek and his mom had with Pam 👀

That food looked hella unseasoned, put some butter on the bread at least lmao

Andy/Chris' laugh 😭🥰

Fuck Neal

Like seriously fuck him

The little guy playing young Andy omg 😭🥺

Fucking white kids oh my gawd y'all think I could ever tell my mother to shut up 😂🙄

That DO YOU HEAR ME with the lack of the "r" in hear...🥴

Some of those images Jacob saw in the therapist's office 😣 I know that was the point but sheesh lol

Who gets a salad with fries lmao is that normal

Did Jacob fold his pizza? Is that also normal?

Reporter lady didn’t deserve those fries smh 🙄

There was a lot of food in this episode 🤣

Jay Kobbs? Really? 🤦🏾‍♀️🤣

Whatever it takes 😭 okay Steve Rogers 😭

Amazing acting from Michelle Dockery in this episode, especially the diner scene.

Amazing acting from Jaeden in the meeting with Joanna.

Amazing acting from Chris Evans no matter the scene (are we surprised? No lol), but especially when he met Matthew.

Thats all for now, see y’all for the next episode <3

[sicklybanjos]

ye oldeee snzfic

okay so i don’t pretend to be a writer now, but damn i was convinced of it in middle school and hs.  i was cleaning out an old computer and found this relic of the past, my (probably) first snzfic from when i was FoUrtEEn and had just come across SFF and wanted to create my ~own~ for a fandom i liked, with a self-insert character ofc lmao.  it’s bad.  it’s cringy.  it’s fecking hilarious (imo). gooood luck, with my avalon high sicfic omg:

Miles went to Wendy's house, like he always did before school.  Usually Wendy was waiting for him on the steps, either reading or editing something for the newspaper.  But today she was no where near the steps.  Miles assumed she was still getting ready, so he went up and rang the doorbell. Mrs. Cross opened the door and welcomed Miles, and then told him, "Sorry Miles, Wendy's sick in bed and she's not coming to school.""Oh and is she exactly taking this news well?" Miles asked.  He knew Wendy could be stubborn at times, and that she wouldn't take something like this easily. Mrs. Cross laughed, "Of course not.  If you want, you can go upstairs and try to talk sense into her.""Okay thank you Mrs. C."  And with that Miles headed up the stairs. Miles heard Wendy before he saw her.  HCISH HCSXU.   He knocked on the door, and strolled into her room.   Wendy was in bed, with a mountain of used tissues in the trashcan next to her.  She looked terrible; her face was pale, except for the slightly flushed cheeks and pink nose.  She sneezed again and blew her nose loudly before she noticed him.   "So Wendy, you're looking peachy.""Shud up Biles.  KHSIXI. TSCHU."  Her voice was hoarse and extremely stuffy.  She blew her nose again, and Miles awkwardly shoved his hands in his pockets. "Do you need me to take your homework home?  I mean Allie and I could, since we're both in your classes.  Well combined that is..."  He trailed off. "Doe I'b goig to school.  Deres a dewspaper beetig ad I have to be dere ad-"Miles cut her off, "Wendy you're crazy.  You're too sick to go; Allie and I'll take your work home.  It's fine, Wen.""But were od a deadlide!  Sobeode has to lead the beetig, ad I'b the editor. It's by job, Biles."  She sneezed several times more and blew her nose harshly. "I'm not letting you go to school, or lead that meeting.""Why dot?  I'b fide, really.""First of all, no you're not.  You're too sick to get out of bed, much less go to school.  Secondly, I can't understand half of the words you say,  since your voice is too scratchy and stuffed up.  And if I can't, then a room of noisy high schoolers definably won't be able to.  Speaking of," He handed her the tissue box, "Blow. Dr. Miles' orders."She did as she was told, and blew her nose for nearly a minute. "Better?"  He asked, smirking. "Sobewhat, I guess." "That's my girl.  And so you don't worry your head off, I'll lead the meeting.  No objections.""But you dod't doe how to lead a dewspaper beetig.  You should cut it short or baybe I should just..."  She began to sit up, looking fazed for a second, then fine again. Miles hollered out, "Mrs. Cross!  Wendy's being ridiculous and trying to get out of bed." Se glared at him, "Whad did you do dat for?" He smirked, "Because your crazy and I need back up.""Wendy sweetie don't be ridiculous, you need rest."  Mrs. Cross came in with a small basket, which contained a large box of tissues, cough drops, cold medicine, and some other things. "Here Miles, can you put this on her side table?"  Handing him the tissue box, "She goes through them like crazy."  "Bob!" Wendy exclaimed. "Relax. Now I'll be downstairs doing the laundry, holler if you need anything." Then she turned to Miles, "You should probably leave in a few minutes to still make it to school. Make sure you wash your hands before you leave, though." Turning back to Wendy, "Get some rest sweetie." And then she left and closed the door halfway. "I should probably head to school, but first, I, Merlin, will lead the newspaper meeting, under the supervision of Lady Wen, via phone." She giggled and then broke it broke into a coughing fit. "Secondly," he started as he headed to the door, "Feel better, Wen. Get some rest, and Allie and I'll bring your work after school, okay?""Fide. Have fud at school. Tell Allie I say hi.  And plead dod't ruid by dewspaper beetig. "  He pointed to the tissue box again, and as she blew her nose they waved each other off. "Geez Miles what took you so long?" Allie exclaimed when he walk/ran to homeroom, a minute before the bell.  "We thought you were gonna be late.  And where's Wendy?" "At home, probably regretting letting me run her precious newspaper meeting."  Seeing his friend's confused look, he added, "She's sick. And by the way, you and I are taking her work home.""Sure and all, but shes actually letting you run the meeting?  How sick is she?" He laughed, "Not on a deathbed if that's what you mean. It's just a flu bug, at least that's what Mrs. C said.""She must really like you to trust you with her precious meeting."  He happily sighed before Allie continued, "Do you actually know how to run a meeting, Miles?""No idea but I'll figure it out. It can't be that hard, can it?  I can take the finished papers to Wendy, and she's already let the staff that I'm running it, and that it'll be cut short, but it can't go too wrong." Miles cleared his throat, "So I um, officially call this meeting to order?"A freshmen raised her hand, "You have no idea what you're doing, do you?""Not a clue.  So what am I supposed to do next?""Take attendance." The younger girl said, pointing to the clipboard next to Miles. "Riiight.  Um Clara?""Here.""Karen?""Present.""Marco?""Here you nitwit.""Righty then.  Wendy's absent, so Lilly?" He continued down the list, and only two people didn't make it. "Okay so now what?" He asked the freshmen girl, Clara. "Well most off us are done with our articles already, and there's no need to pick new topics yet; so the people who are done can turn theirs in to be edited, and anyone else can ask questions." And with that, more than half of the members stood up and handed their papers to Miles, and then left.  Clara was in that line, but volunteered to stay to help guide Miles.  "Next, these people either need to ask a question, rent out a camera, or are just waiting for you to dismiss them." One person had a question about if he could create a poll to answer a question, and Clara nodded a yes, and them the question asker left. "Wendy likes visual aids, if they're usable with the article."Two people needed to rent out the schools cameras, and the other two just needed dismissing.  Afterwards Clara congratulated Miles for not doing too badly, and then told him to let Wendy know that she hopes Wendy feels better soon.   After the meeting, Miles packed up his stuff and Wendy's homework and headed to her house.  When he got there, he knocked on the door, and then went up to Wendy's room.   "Feeling better?" He asked. "Sure I'b fide.  How was the beetig?  Did id rud sboothly?  Did you doe whad to do?  You did't call so I wasd'd sure if you dew whad to do.  Ad- ad- HIXCH TIXCHU ad did adyode turd id deir ardicules? Ad-"He handed her a tissue, "Calm down, Wen.  It went well, most people turned in their articles, and I didn't call because you needed your rest.""But how did you doe whad to do?""One of the freshmen girls, Clara, kinda told me what to do.""Okay well dats be- be-HICHC KIXCHU  TSCHX bedder." Miles frowned.  His girlfriend sounded miserable, and still all she cared about was the newspaper.  "Here Wen," He said as he handed her the tissue box, "I really want you to feel better.""Trusd be, I do doo."  Then she blew her nose twice and added the used tissues to the ever growing mountain of tissues in the trashcan. "Whad did I midd id school?"He handed her another tissue, "Um we just took notes in a lot if classes. You can copy mine when you're better.  Oh!  Mr. Neal announced that next week we'll be learning about the printing press.  I think you'll like that especially." He smiled. "Really?  I cad'd waid!  Hobefully I'll be bedder th- ACHXU thed."  She reached for a tissue, and it was the last one in the box, "Adother box ebpty.  Guess I'll go ged a dew ode."Miles shook his head, "No way.  I'll get one. Be right back."  He went down the hall and asked Mrs. Cross if he could have a tissue box to take to Wendy."She finished the last one?  Oh poor girl, I don't remember the last time she was this sick.""Yeah she sounds so miserable and stuffed up.  When do you think she'll be better by?""Good question, Miles.  Probably sometime next week.  She has the weekend to recover though, and that'll be good for her." He took the tissue box to Wend's room, and when he arrived, she was already fast asleep.  He put the tissue box on her side table, pulled the blankets up to her chin, and went home. The next day Miles went straight to school, since he knew he shouldn't wake Wendy up.  He met Allie before the bell, and they chatted for a bit.  

[4alarmfirecracker]

I've never watched OUAT - Should I watch it? How spooky is it? How gay?

Hey anon ♥ Ok, the answer I’ll always give is YES, YES and again YES. Because Swan Queen is one of my first OTPs (and because they are still a top ship for me). It’s not spooky as I remember it. It’s a family show.

Now it depends of you. Do you want canon ? Well there is three wlw canon ships. One is Mulan x Aurora (Mulan has feelings for Aurora but Aurora doesn’t, or you know the fact that Mulan waited too long and when she was about to say it, Aurora dropped the baby bomb that she had with I can’t remember his name. Eric?)

That face ? Kill me now. Poor Mulan. (Yep I love her and no one hurts my baby)

The other is developed for one episode (or is it more than one ? No idea !) it’s Ruby x Dorothy (yeah it took me 3 seconds to try to find her name back) (tbh I shipped Mulan x Ruby and it would have made more sense (and I think a lot of other people loves Mulan x Ruby more). Hell, even Merida x Mulan x Ruby would have made more sense. Bonus point, Mulan x Dorothy got a fairytale kiss)

Listen my babies Ruby x Mulan

Mulan x Merida

Ok and now the REAL canon ship that was developed during the entirety of the last season … Alice x Robin (Mad archer or Curious archer) (and bonus, it really felt like Alice was the main character of the last season) It’s a great story with a happy ending for them. Honestly I loved the last season and it’s in big part thanks to them (and Regina but let’s be honest all seasons are great thanks to her).

Ok and nowwwwww under the cut because it’s starting to get long … Swan queen = subtext = my love = eye fu*king all the time.

Go under the cut to know more … (How ouat starts = SQ + some problems ouat had + my love for Regina)

So once upon a time starts like this … A little boy called Henry knocks at the door of Emma Swan (blonde one). It’s her son that she gave up when he was born. He wants to bring her back to a town called Storybrook where we meet the mayor … Regina Mills (brunette/black hair). Plot twist … Regina is the adoptive mother of Henry who ran away from home because her mother is “the evil queen” (due to him having a story book with all fairytales in it and believing - truthfully - that all people in this town are part of the book). Now, the entirety of the story revolves around Emma (the main character at the start), Regina (tbh MY main character and the heart of the show + the main character at the end/second part of the serie) and the Swan-Mills family. The producer of the show clearly said ouat was about Emma coming to town and meeting Regina.

Look at that family portrait ! 

Anyway conflict happens between them for the love of Henry Mills (and eventually you know it all works out). Now, Emma is the first one to believe in Regina and her being good. There is magic (their combined magic has the same colors as the Ture Love™ spell. come on !) and everything that I love. Also … Perfect Enemies to lovers trope come on it would have been magistral (we still got the Enemies to Friends trope). At the end you can clearly see that Regina is the one who loves Emma more and Emma distance herself with a guy™. 

Well said Regina ! (that episode was dope !)

The fact with Swan Queen is … the subtext is really heavy and the parallels are numerous. They just … never got canon.

—————————–

NOWWWWW the only downside … 2 guys ! Killian Jones (pirate) and Robin Hood.

I’ll only speak of Captain Hook for all seasons except the last one where, weirdly (or not), I loved him (and also maybe the 3d one where he appears where he makes a good-ish villain that you like to hate?).

But all the other seasons I can’t stand him. He is typically the guy who wants Emma and when she says no to him several times, he pushes again and again until she says yes. He also has other non lovable traits but I won’t expand on it here. I think the only reason some people loved him with Emma was because he was somewhat good looking? And it’s not because he’s with Emma that I don’t like him because I really liked Neal. The fact is, Emma was a strong woman who becomes weak over the seasons because of him (to the point where I didn’t even like what Emma had become … a shadow of her former self).

Now the other one buggers me a little less. Except that the guy had a wife who died I think but who comes back and all that shit. Oh and also the fact that he is “predestined” to be with Regina and is her soulmate or things like that. But you learn about that before they even meet (or at the very beginning) ! Like whattt. It’s forced. And I don’t like being forced.

Now, Killian is just amazing in the last season (for reasons I won’t tell here because it’s really spoilery) I’ll just tell you he is really different and kind and considerate. Everything he wasn’t before.

And one guy I absolutely loved was Daniel ♥ Omg Regina x Daniel give me all the feels. (he is part of Regina’s backstory)

—————————–

Let’s end with some Swan queeeeen

And let’s end with the fact that OUAT, honestly, is the story of Regina and her inner battle. And if you don’t watch ouat for all the reasons above, please watch ouat for Regina you won’t regret it ♥ (+pantsuits+sassyness)

[fandomele]

Omg askthegiantdude! I remember you! as someone else who watched the show from the start and shipped cs from the get go, I totally understand you. After all that bullshit fighting from the crackships and canon via flashback from a short time, I feel so validated that what we saw was correct and cs got their happy ending and was confirmed true love.

Right???? I mean, the show was clearly written that way, framing Killian as The love interest (even when Neal interacted with one of them, the camera panned on the other one) and introducing him in Emma’s episode with all that attention on their relationship and their instant connection.Of course we couldn’t be SURE, you can never trust writers’ fully until you know their plan, so hope was a big concept for us too lol (and being called delusional and homophobic and all those horrible things for shipping a couple that was clearly being written as Something.) So I don’t doubt you felt validated, if you have been here so long too, you have been directly or indirectly bullied as part of our group and it turns out that you not only had the last laugh, but read the show correctly AND had the ship you loved with Emma and Killian being so happy together! I did always love the CS fandom because aside from some people who chose to invade other tags and be disrespectful to real people, as a whole we really did get along a lot, there were some incredibly creative people, amazing gif makers and ff writers, people creating teas and logos, just... so much GOOD came out of it! 

meanwhile I feel so sorry for other fandoms where the crackship’s shippers migrated after becoming even more ‘extreme’ with the years and already started behaving in a disgusting way from the get go only to become worse. It’s ridiculous how IDENTICAL their attacks were, btw, and how the poor people part of those fandoms couldn’t exactly predict what would happen next (but I could as well as other csers). 

still, CS IS true love, they are so happy, they have a daughter, and with how season 7 has been written with them basically not there but some people cursed and far away from them, we can imagine that they also took a step away from people they didn’t actually like and are living the life they always deserved to have, big family ( I don’t mean as in many children, I mean on all sides, friends who feel like family, parents, siblings and all that)  and working together... both of them having love and trust and hope. yes.

[celticheartedfangirl]

25 Fucking Stupid Writing Choices OUAT Made

This post is a snarky response to Adam and Eddy’s little humble brag article that came out today:

http://ew.com/tv/2018/05/14/once-upon-time-crazy-storylines/

This is meant to be snarky and critical and if you don’t like that -- don’t read it.  (MY post, not the link above.)  

Look, I am a OUAT fan an there are many things I love about the show.  But there are many I just DON’T LOVE and I think they’re worth discussing.  If you don’t like criticism, you won’t like this post.  That’s fine.  

Thank you for all the suggestions!  I think I got quite a bit crammed in here.  

Under the cut for length and so as not to upset those who only want to ‘think lovely thoughts’ . . . . . 

25. Here’s a magic doohickey thingy we’ve never heard of before but NOW we’re using this thing.

Look, I’m not gonna list all the MacGuffins this show has used, I’d be here all day and there are worse things they’ve done, and this IS a show about magic after all.  

But there’s also such a thing as overkill.  And there was too much MacGuffin use that we didn’t know about before in this show. It was far too convenient and usually used as a cop out in lieu of – you know – actual STORY TELLING. THAT is my MacGuffin issue.  Don’t use it to replace character development.  We’re not here for that.  

24.  The Lost Boys/The Untold Stories and Other Dropped Plots

So the Lost Boys -- Did they get homes? Did they grow up?  I don’t know!  Do you?  Of course not – we’ll never know!

What about all those Untold Stories folks?  Weren’t there a bunch of them?  Are they still meandering around in Storybrooke?

Edited to add:  Maleficent and Lily.  SO SORRY I forgot to initially include you in this one.  My bad.  You are missed, ladies!  

Edited once more to add:  Poor Gideon.  Both parents dead and his extended family doesn’t give a shit about him.  Or at least I assume so because we don’t know where he is.  The child of Beauty and the Beast -- treated like a disposable plot device.  Nice.

OUAT is great with creating and LOUSY with follow through.  I know there are many others.  But there shouldn’t be.  There shouldn’t be that many dropped plots on this show.  If you’re not going to follow through with a story line, why add the characters AT ALL?  Speaking of that . . .

23.  JFC, how many new characters do we NEED on this show???

Especially since you still haven’t figured out what to do with some of the ones that are CONTRACT PLAYERS on your show!  Hey, didn’t Archie and Ruby used to be those?  (Waves hi to Belle!  Also the Charmings post S4.  More on that later.)

22.  You know – Rumple is Henry’s GRANDFATHER

He is!  Really!  

You’d never fucking KNOW IT, would you?  The erasure of any sort of familial relationship with Henry/Rumple was a damned shame.  And much of that, I believe, was because if they acknowledged THAT, they’d have to mention the character they want us to forget.  More on that later.

21.  The Shattered Sight Hype

Remember what a BIG DEAL the whole Shattered Sight thing was gonna be in S4?  OMG people say what they REALLY FEEL about each other!  It’s gonna be EPIC!!!

And then it – wasn’t. We basically got some Snowing/Evil Queen snark, Henry bitching at Hook, and Belle – well, Belle was asleep – what else is new?  

I think of all the things that were PROMOTED as something amazing for this show – this is the one that was a big old dud and a whole lot of NOTHING.

20.  Belle’s mom/Belle is written out of her own storyline in S6

In Family Business we met Belle’s Mom for about two minutes.  Then she was dead.  And Belle didn’t remember what happened.  And then – we never heard about it again.

I don’t know about you, but I wanted to know what happened there.  Why didn’t Belle remember?  Did Moe get a roofie magic thingy from Arthur?  Did Belle’s mom turn into an ogre and she killed her and blocked it out?

SO MANY possibilities there. But hey – it’s just Belle.  Why write a story for HER?  

In the same regard -- whatever your thoughts are on Rumbelle in S6 (MHO – it was garbage and an OOC shit fest, but that’s just me) – what happened with Gideon – Belle’s SON – was because of HER CHOICE.  Choices have consequences.  And in GOOD WRITING – the person that MADE the choice that caused the mess is supposed to be the person to help CLEAN IT UP.

But apparently – it was a better thing for ZELENA of all people to be the one to do that.  And Emma and Hook too.  Because why the hell not, right?  That makes all the sense.  

Yes, Rumple played his part too in the whole Gideon mess.  And he did get to take part in the resolution.  But that was something they should have done TOGETHER (what a concept!), and overall Belle was just – not part of it.  Even in the last two minutes they sidelined her with a sprained ankle.  Absolutely ridiculous.    Which leads me to . . . .

19.  Belle being sidelined since Season Two.

OUAT brought the lovely Emilie de Ravin onto the show as a regular cast member in Season Two, and had no fucking idea what to do with her character.  So she gets fridged.  She gets stuck in the hospital, left behind while the rest go to Neverland, she’s very fond of naps, she’s forgotten about in Camelot, not cared about while in a sleeping curse because the “heroes” care more about “stopping” her “evil” hubby (see #17) and written out of her own damn storyline in 6B (see #20) – and then she’s dead. (More on that later.)

I love Belle.  I love Rumbelle.  And I will forever be resentful that for the bulk of her time on the show, the character of Belle, one of my fictional heroes, was written as nothing but a plot device.  She deserved so much better.  

18.  The Musical Episode

I mean – if this nonsense (and it WAS nonsense) had moved the story forward, I could maybe – MAYBE – let this one slide.  But it didn’t.  It just rehashed the same shit that we had been talking about for 6 seasons.  And then Hook married Emma and her Stepford Wife conversion therapy was complete.  (More on that later.)  This episode WILL NOT HOLD UP in the future.  Future generations will be “WTF-ing” all over the place with this one, mark my words.  

17.  Rumple is a Hero – no he’s a Villain – No wait he’s a hero, nope a villain, make up your DAMN MIND WRITERS!!!!!

I got whiplash trying to follow the trajectory of Rumple’s story, as many times as they changed his characterization.  He’s a villain – then in 3A he’s a hero.  Then he’s the victim of a molester and kidnapper and show doesn’t address that AT ALL. Oops he’s evil again.  Except now he’s not – his heart is PURE!  He pulled Excalibur out of the rock, he’s a HERO! Nah – he’s dark again.  Bad Rumple!  Oooh now he’s REALLY DARK and his fetus with no brain stem hates him and his wife is living on a boat with his sworn ENEMY while pregnant, so he traps here there (!!!!!) and he’s macking on the Evil Queen . . . come ON.  Enough already.

Rumple is a complex character.  You can’t just flip/flop willy nilly with a complex character.  You have to know how to write them as nuanced, and CONSISTENLY complex but never falling fully into one camp or the other of ‘good’ or ‘evil.’

Rumple is played by Robert Carlyle, one of the best actors around.  And the ONLY saving grace from the horrible writing of this character over the years is the fact that Bobby knew how to play him most of the time – even when the writers didn’t know how to WRITE HIM.  Which was almost ALL the time.  

16.  Hook is a Dark One/Resurrecting Dead Hook/Hook the Gary Stu

I toyed with ranking the dark one higher on the list and as its own thing because really, this reveal caused the biggest MID EPISODE ratings drop in the history of the show up to that point.  Nobody liked it.  Nobody wanted it. And it ended up being a setup to the ‘Save Hook’ trajectory because of COURSE of all the characters in the history of the show, HE was the one that deserved saving THE MOST.  But I think all of these things tie together.  

What this moment did was solidify the fact that Hook was officially a “Stu” character.  He definitely had Gary Stu tendencies up to this point, and was basically an irritant to anyone but CS/Hook fans, but from here on?  That’s pretty much all he was and all he’d ever be until he was replaced (or should I say upgraded?) by his doppelganger.  

I combined the DO/Save Hook/Stu thing because it was in the Underworld that Hook’s full Stu-pification took place.  There wasn’t a line of people he had murdered wanting a word with him – as there SHOULD HAVE BEEN.  

And Hook still got to keep all his murder trinkets when he got resurrected and made out with his girlfriend over Robin’s grave.  What a guy.

15.  Regina/The Evil Queen Stay Split

I’m just saying – wouldn’t it have been better character growth for Regina to have to live with her ‘evil’ half than to split it off?  And no, the ‘heart mixing’ thing doesn’t count.  I get that the whole thing was really fan service to the Outlaw Queen fandom.  But that doesn’t make it good writing.  

14.  The Wish Realm

Oh, I could write a whole post about this (and I may do that at some point) but there are so many damn holes in the whole Wish Realm mess I wouldn’t even know where to start.  But so many things about it just DO NOT line up in a sensible way.  And even if you find one that DOES, it’ll create three things that DON’T line up.  

I’d have bought a ‘parallel universe’ over the ‘wish realm’ stuff.  They could have gone with that and it would have made much more sense. But you know – they wanted dead Belle, dead Baelfire, dead Snowing, no Emma and old Hook so – Wish realm it was. I just got to a point where I didn’t care anymore.  But that doesn’t negate the stupid.  

13.  The Timeline

The timeline in OUAT made sense – and then it didn’t.  And then they just stopped trying.  And I stopped caring.  But for paid, professional writers – just not cool.  DO YOUR JOB!!!!!

12.  Will Scarlett

Do I really need to say any more here?  No? Didn’t think so.  Moving on.  

11.  Neal’s Apartment in New York City

Have you ever been to NYC? Places of residence are at a premium there.  There is no way in hell that an abandoned apartment wouldn’t have been emptied and taken over by a new resident in that much time.  And I’m sorry, but odds are Neal did NOT pre-pay his rent for TWO YEARS out.  

10.  Belle and Hook – Best Friends Forever!*

You know – no woman with a brain in her head would befriend a man who straight up tried to murder her FOUR TIMES.  So, either Belle doesn’t have a brain in her head, or that’s some crap writing right there. (My vote is with the latter if you’re wondering.)

It was bad enough when Belle was just handing over the dagger to “Hook” in S4 (yes, I know it was Rumple but details shmetails, Belle didn’t know that), but a PREGNANT BELLE going to live on a boat with Hook to be ‘safe’ – come on. Who does that?  I get that Adam and Eddy wanted to wave the middle finger at the Rumbelle fandom, but they could have found a way to do that without making Belle look STUPID.  

*Honorable mention to Belle/Zelena being friends which was equally as stupid

9.  Zelena is Marian

Come ON – they pulled that one out of their asses halfway through S4 because they wanted to find a way to bring back Bex.  There was NO INDICATION of that until the reveal.  Because it didn’t EXIST until the reveal.  Ridiculous.  

8.  Making the Charmings Supporting Players

Starting with S4, Snow and David basically became secondary characters.  They had MOMENTS, but overall they were on the backburner and if they left the show at any point – would it have made a difference to ANY of the trajectory they were playing out?  I’d say no.  

I mean – how the hell did that happen?  How do you run out of ideas with the couple that you touted as THE ‘main couple’ after only three seasons?  I don’t get it.  

7.  Golden Queen

Just no.  There was never anything romantic between these two characters.  It was stupid and out of character for both of them.  No.  

6.  Queer baiting 101

If you gender-swapped either Emma or Regina – made one of them a man – they’d be banging by S2 and by the end of the series they’d be married with at least two more kids and three break-ups/reunions between them.  (Hey, I watch soaps, I know how this shit works.)

The chemistry between the actors is there.  They share a kid.  But they’re both women.  And you know – family show -- #nohomo and all.   Sure.  

The writers KNEW that Swan Queen was popular.  Now okay – if ABC didn’t want to go there, fine.  I don’t agree with that, but fine.

But don’t keep freaking queer baiting your fans every chance you get!  It never stopped.  In fact, it got progressively WORSE as the show went on!  That’s just bullshit right there.  Either do it or drop it.  Because what OUAT did with Emma and Regina and the baiting of their fans was just flat out shitty.  

And if that weren’t bad enough, we got the whole queer baiting with Mulan/Aurora, and THEN in S5 we’re handed Dorothy/Ruby as a token olive branch to the LGBT community and then – we never see them again!  

Okay, in S7 they got on the right track with Alice and Robin.  I will give them that.  But after six years of baiting, it kind of rang hollow for many, and rightly so.

5.  Hey, Here’s a Person of Color – Let’s Kill Them!

One of the first warnings I give to any new OUAT is ‘don’t get attached to any POC’ and with good reason. They don’t last long on OUAT.

Now I don’t want to assume or accuse any of the OUAT writers of flat out racism but . . .. . you’ve gotta admit – they don’t have the best track record there.  

It’s especially obvious when they bring on a character that is compelling and portrayed by a charismatic actor that the audience enjoys.  Lancelot, Merlin, and Facilier are the three best examples of that. Okay, so Lance was resurrected but – where’d he go?  Is he still trying to undo dead-Arthur’s roofie on Guinevere?  

And then we have an amazing hero and a compelling villain in Merlin and Facilier, respectively.  Both of these characters – and their actors – were bright spots in the show.  So naturally – they needed to die.  Without their storylines resolved.  

But it was just a coincidence that they weren’t white.  Of course it was.  

4.  The Death of Belle

Yeah, yeah, I know, Beauty was a beautifully written episode and Bobby and Emilie loved it and we got some great moments, blah blah blah . . . . . . but was it NECESSARY?  Did they REALLY NEED to kill off Belle?  You’re telling me that there’s absolutely, positively, not one plausible scenario for S7 wherein Belle is in Hyperion Heights and Rumple can find a way to rid himself of the darkness WITH HER THERE???? Really?  They couldn’t write even one lousy full season of Rumbelle (hello BEAUTY AND THE BEAST) happy and in love with struggles but still beating the darkness in the end?  Really??? There weren’t any options for that scenario AT ALL????  Give me a break.  

3.  The Stepford Swan

Over the course of seven years, many of the OUAT characters suffered with out- of-character moments. It’s not uncommon and I would even venture to say that this happens on occasion on MOST television shows.  But on OUAT, it was a common occurrence from Season Four onward.  And NONE of the characters experienced as much of an out of character de-evolution as Emma Swan.

When we first met Emma Swan she was a badass, intelligent, independent woman.  Yes, she had her issues and her inner demons and we saw her work past those as the series progressed.  

And then . . . . she got a boyfriend.  And he became the center of her universe.  And Emma – changed.  The writers (and Jennifer Morrison) will swear up and down that it was an ‘evolution’ but I’m sorry – a character that starts OUT like this:

Does not END UP like this:

That’s not evolution. That’s a shell of a woman dependent on a man for her self-worth.  That’s NOT who Emma Swan is.  This was THE worst character assassination on the show, and I’d say it’d be up (down?) there in the top 10 (er, bottom 10?) of worst character assassinations in all of television. What a shame.  

2.  Rapists – rapists everywhere!

Once Upon a Time has always been marketed as a family show.  For a family show – there’s sure a heck of a lot of rape in it.  

The first CANON rapist we have is Regina and her 28+ year imprisonment and repeated sexual assault of Graham.  Regina came a long way as a character in the show’s 7-year run – but it would have done great service to her if this had been addressed somehow.  Now, I know that Jamie Dornan is all famous and off making money playing Christian Grey but – you know, in this particular case – I’d have been good with either a recast or at the VERY least an apologetic mention.  But we never got that.

And that’s the problem with every rapey issue on this show – it’s never addressed for what it is. In fact – it’s really not addressed at all.  Hook’s rape jokes in S2 are treated like ‘playful banter’ by the writers, cast, and viewers alike.  Zelena’s ‘Hester the Molester’ stuff with Rumple in S3 doesn’t even warrant a discussion. Hook’s rapey innuendo in the CS movie is also waved off.  Then we have Zelena raping Robin in S4, Arthur magic roofie-ing Guinevere and probably raping her in S5 (Is she still roofied?  Who knows!), and Mother Gothel raping Nook in S7.

That’s a hell of a lot of rape for a “family show.”  And aside from the off-handed comment from Robin about lack of consent with Zelena, none of it is addressed for what it is – RAPE.  

1.  The Death of Baelfire/Neal Cassidy

In Season One there were three main story line arcs driving the series:  Regina’s war with Snow White, Emma as The Savior, and Rumpelstiltskin’s quest to reunite with his son, Baelfire.  All three stories intertwined, and it only made sense that the trajectory of the show would be that in the end, all of these characters would somehow come together, as they all were tied to one character:  Henry.

Unfortunately, the writers made the foolish decision in Season Three to execute one of the main (if not THE main) driving forces on the show.  Baelfire/Neal was connected to all of the aforementioned people, and his loss was a blow to everyone.  At least it should have been. But that’s not what we saw.

Not only was Neal/Baelfire killed off – he was flat out ERASED from the show.  His name from the point of his death on was rarely brought up. We didn’t get to see anyone truly mourn or grieve him.  (Okay Rumple, but BARELY – and anyone who has lost a child understands that it’s quite possibly the deepest type of grief imaginable.  I’m told you never get over it.)  As the show moved forward, you could literally spot the times when the writers made deliberate dialogue choices to avoid saying the name Neal/Baelfire in places where it not only made sense, it was WARRANTED.  

Let’s be REAL here – we all know the “reason” Bae/Neal was written off the show.  I don’t care what the writers say.  I’m not an idiot and neither are you.  And I’m sorry, but if the ONLY WAY you can think of to make a “romance” happen on a show is to kill off a character that would be forever “in the way” of said romance – you’re not a skilled enough writer to be writing a television show for a major network.  I mean – it works in spiteful fanfic (which I am more than guilty of writing).  But for a television show?  The viewers deserve better than that. ��NEAL/BAELFIRE and every character that ever loved him deserved better than that.  

I know I probably missed a bunch but I really did try to hit the highlights and put them in the order they deserved.

Thoughts?  Comments?  If you think I’m missing a tag for this (I’m doing my best) let me know and I’ll add it.  

[killian-whump]

OUAT 3x03: Rewatch Liveblog

Hey guys! It's me again, back with another liveblog of, uh, me watching another episode of Once Upon a Time.

This one is episode 3x03, called "Quite a Common Fairy" - which means, you guessed it, we'll be meeting Tinkerbell in this episode :)

Let's watch, shall we?

...and we return to the dark jungles of Neverland.

Seriously. Why is this arc so damn DARK? It makes for good atmosphere, yes, but lousy GIFs and caps :/

Is there something wrong with me that I find that lantern David's holding kinda... hot? I don't know, it's just... old fashioned and rugged and outdoorsy and... I just find it really aesthetically pleasing, the way he’s holding it.

HAHAHAHAHAHA EMMA JUST TOOK A WET LEAF TO THE FACE

Awwww, Hook got it a second later, but they barely showed it :(

WHY BE IN THE JUNGLE AT ALL IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET US WATCH HOT PEOPLE GET HIT IN THE FACE WITH WET LEAVES D:

"If Pan's camp keeps moving, how are we going to find Henry?" Gooooooood question.

Oh, so I guess that perilous ending of 3x01 with Pan’s ominous “Let’s play!” as the Lost Boys advanced on Henry was a baseless tease, after all. Here’s Henry sleeping peacefully under a tree, not even a bruise on him.

Henry: "I don't like apples." Pan: "Who doesn't like apples?" An excellent question.

"I call it target practice." So menacing, whilst holding a crossbow inches from Henry's face. SO OMINOUS!!!

SURELY THIS WILL BE PERILOUS FOR OUR DEAR HENRY!!!

There’s no way this will be another baseless tease or anything.

Hey, I recognize this castle from the time we were in the middle of bloody damnation and they decided to cut to another scene somewhere in another realm that was nowhere near as exciting and I almost threw my mouse through my monitor.

AKA: Rumple's old place.

Bae, something tells me if dear old dad had something to make a portal with just hanging out in his cabinets, he wouldn't have needed a big convoluted plan to turn Regina into a villain and have her cast a dark curse. Just, you know, spitballing here. Just having some thoughts. Just saying.

Awww... Roland <3 One of the tenets of Once fandom: Roland <3

Hahaha, Snow. "Have you even been listening?"

"I fear such an attempt would end in your death... and more importantly, mine." Another classic Hook line <3

Oh, Emma. You poor soul. "Tinkerbell?!" Hook: "What, you know her?" This shit’s hilarious.

Oh no. Sad Regina flashbacks. Feels incoming... D:

Go ahead, Rumple. Just invite yourself to dinner. Sure.

Rumple: "Roast swan, hehehe! That's amusing. You'll get that later."

OH LOOK, GUYS, IT'S TINKERBELL

"Snow White? That's her name? Even I think that's a bit precious, and mine's Tinkerbell." Haha :)

Regina: "She had my fiance killed." Well, that's not exactly how that happened, but... no, you know what, let's just go with that for now.

Oh, hey Regina, you dropped something...

Nevermind, some creepy woman in the jungle picked it up for you.

HOOK'S HOLDING THE LANTERN NOW

OH SHIT, THERE'S TWO LANTERNS

HOOK AND DAVE ARE BOTH HOLDING LANTERNS

What the hell is wrong with me?

Regina: *catches up* Regina: "Emma! There is another way..." Emma: "Is there?" Regina: "Magic!"

LMAO The way she says it, tho. It's like a late night infomercial salesman: 'It cooks, it cleans, it'll blow your freaking mind - it's magic!'

Someone please tell me that Regina suggesting magic was a meme in the fandom during S3, because if you lot weren't photoshopping her into everything everywhere with "What about MAGIC?!" speech bubbles, then you're all a disappointment to everything ever and I'm never speaking to any of you ever again.

Emma: "Didn't we just go through this?" Yeah, about five times per episode AND IT ONLY GETS FUNNIER

Regina: "You think it's the best plan because your boyfriend came up with it." Emma: "My boyfriend? HOOK?!"

Snow: "She just lost Neal." Regina: "Sorry." I'm just too perceptive for my own good.

Oh, gee. We're back with Pan and Henry. Oh no! Pan's poisoning the arrow! Felix is looking ominous! Henry's in big trouble n-

Oh. Henry's the one who's going to shoot the crossbow. So he's, uh, not in any danger at all, actually. Huh. Okay.

YES. Henry, good move. I mean, it didn't work out so well for you, but turning and firing at Pan really WAS a solid strategy.

Hook's still got the lantern. Oh wait, that's right, there's two of them, so he can always have the lantern.

OMG YOU GUYS, REGINA HAS THE OTHER LANTERN NOW

Seriously. What the hell, self?

Ooooh... Intense Captain Charming scene D:

Oh, fairy time, everybody!!

"You got big for no reason." That's what she said.

Blue: "I will be the judge of what is fairy-like!" SAYS WHO, BITCH

JFC NOW ROBIN HOOD HAS ONE

Was there a sale at the old timey lantern store or something? Does the director of this episode have a fetish for them? Is it maybe a thing after all?

You know, it IS a dick move to ask another dude to risk his son so you can go save yours, Neal.

Oh, shit. You're seriously going to play the "you owe me one because my dad saved your wife's life" card?! Technically, he didn't even SAVE Marian. Robin saved Marian and Rumple decided not to flat-out MURDER him for it. Not quite heroic. I don't think this dude owes you anything.

Emma: "What'd you do to her?" Ahahahahahaha, looks like Emma's perceptive too XD

Regina: "What? Why would you assume I did something?"

This is the best Swan Queen scene ever. I just decided this right now xD

THEIR FACES, LOL

Regina: "Okay. We have a complicated history."

Aww... "What the hell did you do to her?" "What I always do." T_T

Ahhhhh, the man with the lion tattoo...

Why does Tinkerbell run off, though? Haha, that's silly.

NOT AS SILLY AS REGINA RUNNING OFF THOUGH

OKAY, NOW THEY'RE JUST FUCKING WITH ME

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHOT??

Ooooooooh, Tinkerbell's a nasty little fairy... XD

Snow: “It's just a place to sleep.” Emma: “What would you know about that?” Like, have you not paid any attention to the last two seasons of this show, Emma?!

Okay, Hook, honey, you have to stop doing anything and everything, because the way you're sitting on that hammock is making me want to send a nasty little fairy after you.

I blame all these lanterns.

Regina bondage! Yay!

"About time you woke up." Bitch, you're the one who put her to sleep, and that was like, 5 minutes ago.

Regina: "How the hell did you get like this?" Tinkerbell: "I met you."

Regina: "You're a terrible fairy." Tinkerbell: "You didn't go in, did you?" EVERYBODY'S SO PERCEPTIVE IN THIS EPISODE

Pan: "Look at the fun they're having." Ummm... They're throwing knives at the ground. It's not even a target. It's the ground. It's everywhere. YOU CAN'T MISS IT.

Pan: "At one point, I had four boys with missing fingers. Cost of the game. They didn't mind." I mean, I would think they probably DID mind, at least a little...

Okay, follow me for a minute here. Peter Pan would actually make a great life coach. "You were created for a reason... and I can help you find it."

I mean, at least LOOK at it, Henry. Aren’t you even curious?!

Umm. Seriously? That's all it takes for a kid to summon a shadow? "I believe"?

Like, kids would be summoning them left and right on accident. At least have some kind of noun on that shit. "I believe in Neverland" or "I believe the Cubs will win the World Series again before I die." I mean, seriously.

Man, them shadows are creepy ass motherfuckers.

Well, here's a touching Robin and Roland and Mulan scene. Shame that Roland will NEVER SLEEP AT NIGHT AGAIN after seeing that creepy ass nightmare come to life. I mean, aside from the fact that he’s sleeping right now.

Also, wouldn't you at least put him to bed in another room or, at least, under a different window? Those fuckers COME BACK you know. We saw that last season, when they straight up STALKED the Darling family.

Dude. Mulan. Honey. You should've just told Aurora how you feel. I always kinda OT3ed you lot, anyhow. The “Left Behind in the Curse” Bang Train left 28 years ago and you were all on it.

I love how everyone's got their weapons at the ready and Hook just shoulders his sword and looks around non-chalantly, like "lovely weather we're having here in the jungle..."

Mmmm... The looks they give each other... TINKERHOOK LIVES :D

Yeah, there you go. Knew you'd look, kid. I mean, how could you not?!

Hahaha, this is why you have to be careful with drone deliveries. They just drop your packages wherever they want to.

"Welcome home, Baelfire." You're not creepy at all, Felix. "Pan will be so happy to see you." I bet! The only thing that crazy motherfucker likes more than tormenting children and hot pirates is tormenting his own family members.

CS coconut scene <3

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS, ROBIN HOOD HAS THE LION TATTOO

...and that's a wrap!

PEW PEW PEW PEEEEEEEEEEW!!!

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 2X18 - Selfless, Brave, and True

Hey, reader! And WOOD-n’t you know, August is here too!!!!

So while we’re all here together, let’s talk about this episode! Under the cut we go!

Press Release While Mary Margaret goes off on her own in an attempt to come to grips with what she did to Cora and how her deed has affected her, she stumbles upon August, who has hidden himself away from the others and is completely made of wood – ashamed at the actions he has taken in life; and Emma is shocked when Neal invites his fiancée, Tamara, to come to Storybrooke. Meanwhile, before the curse was cast, August is introduced to a man of magic who may be able to prevent him from turning back into wood – but at a steep price. General Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness This is one of those episodes where the events of it are good, but can’t really be picked apart and discussed in specific segments like I usually do (Besides, the “Insights” make up for it this time! XD ). I like both of the stories and their use of character. I’m admittedly a sucker for episodes where a character makes a decision in one part and then ends up on the opposite side of the proverbial equation in the other, and this one was done pretty well! It’s a simple type of character development, but it honestly gets the job done. August is built to be just selfish enough for the episode’s purposes, but his fear of dying was an appropriate choice as to make his cowardice and selfishness never take him over the line of detestability. Additionally, while I take issue with one aspect of it, I think August’s redemption works well through his sacrifice as death was something he feared so much and was capitalized on well enough in the flashback, and his reward is well deserved. In both segments, Tamara works as a twist character and while I get tired sometimes of those overly mysterious characters who dodge most every question like a banana peel in Smash Bros, I think they did a good job in making The Dragon likable enough. If I had to complain about something, I just feel like the twist that makes August change his mind about leaving should’ve been more character based and closer to the theme of being selfless, brave, and true. As it is, it’s just seeing a photograph, and that’s not really all that revolutionary to someone who was content enough to run away earlier despite knowing what Tamara could do. It exposes nothing about his morality. What I would’ve done is have Tamara also take the string from the Dragon. It would’ve tied (GET IT?! TIED XD ) back to who August was and his father. Insights - Stream of Consciousness -Phuket? More like “fuck it.” Aren’t I right August, ya beach bum? XD -”I’m turning into wood.” Given your previous position, I guess the wood that goes around comes around! ;) -David, you sure that snowbells are the best flowers to give Snow to cheer her up? Because she literally just buried her friend with them a few days ago. Maybe you oughta go with tulips or a nice rose, perhaps? -Also, David! You look hoooooot in that shirt! Fuck the sausage and eggs! I’d be content enough with that big slab of meat you call a bicep! ;) -Ooh! I love that bit of indirect tough love advice Emma gives David on Snow’s behalf! It’s a nice callback to their friendship! And it works! AND Snow relays that advice to August later on! -”None of it will matter?” I’m with Snow, David. Shit’s not that easy. -”Please. Give me time.” There might be some in that breakfast he cooked. Just saying. -”She should be here at any minute now.” Neal, give Emma some notice! A text, at least! -”This town is turning into a theme park.” I’m about 1,000,000% sure no one who runs a Disney park is reading my cute little web reviews, but if you are, PLEASE make Storybrooke a theme park or even just a street in Disney World (And then get me free tickets as a thank you for the idea!) -I can NEVER hear Jennifer say “where I’m/you’re from” again without thinking about that fucking blooper! XD -”She’s bringing bagels.” To be honest, I’d be sold here too. New York bagels are objectively the best and I pity every one of you who has never had one. You poor souls! -Mary Margaret: Keeper of the best coping mechanism EVER since 2013 (?) -*August shows up* I’ve heard of Woodsman in this series, but this is ridiculous! -*August fucking stabs himself with a scalpel and is chased* What the fuck did you expect to happen?! -*August gets pulled into the supply closet* August was ready to throw down! And look at his hands. Is that cultural appropriation or did he actually learn how to fight in Phuket? -August is so well sanded! Either Gepetto didn’t get paid NEARLY enough or August did some grooming! -August ships SwanFire! Who knew? ...Besides everyone who paid more attention than me during the original airing of the episode, that is? XD -Tamara brought the fucking goods! Your revealed villainy aside, you’re a fucking champ! No wonder I liked you! -Awww! Henry let Neal keep the book! <3 -Btw, WHERE THE FUCK IS RUMPLE? Unghh. One thing I wish we had more of this season was more Papa Fire moments. I mean, the guy just got his son back AND avoided death. I feel like he should be knocking on Neal’s door every day to talk to him and his absence at this point is really noticeable. I know we see them together in the next episode, but it’s not enough. Yes, Neal still holds a lot of resentment, but in the last scene they were together, they had a moment of kindness and Rumple’s the type to jump on that like a toddler on a trampoline! -Tamara, I know you’re acting, but you’re giving a 10 and you need to pull that back to a 6. Hell, precisely BECAUSE you’re acting, you should pull it back just a touch! -”I have a soft spot for little kids in trouble.” Awwww! </3 -”If I were you, I’d try the fish -- blackened soul.” That was a fucking good one liner! -Damn, Tamara! Give you some ominous music and a glare and suddenly, out goes the cuddly and in goes the scary! -Dragon, don’t dodge the question! Goddd, don’t be one of those annoying types of mysterious characters!! -”Because what he was is what he is.” Blue! THIS is why everyone thinks you’re shady! -Tamara. Do not pull out the giant envelope of cash in public, and then LEAVE it out! Look, I love August, but he’s about as shady as the underside of the branches he was carved out of! -”For someone who spent his entire life running, you should be in better shape.” XD Great quip, Dragon! -”Are you two trying to steal the magic from Storybrooke?” How did you reach that conclusion? I mean, I get that Tamara’s shadier right now than weeping willow by the equator at high noon, but there’s a jump in logic here that I’m missing. Like, as far as you know, she likes magic. She cured her cancer with it! It makes sense when August finds out the truth, but it would only work when he discovers it. -Regina, who the hockey sticks do you think you’re fooling by playing dumb?! -”Mary Margaret. What are you doing? He’s apologizing.” Emma, he literally just told your mother that the thing she’s spent so much time blaming herself for (Possibly from the moment you were born) was orchestrated by him. She’s allowed to be angry. I feel like both you and I would have a harsher reaction if we were in her shoes! -”That wasn’t me.” Jesus, people! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY! YOUR LACK OF ANGER IS MAKING ME ANGRY! I mean, I get that Snow knows she would’ve done the same thing, but she didn’t. Marco did, and that condemnation for it was well warranted. -I DO like how responsible Marco’s being for his actions and the effect that it had on August. That was SO needed! -OMG! THE TASER!!! XD -Damn, I wish we saw what The Dragon’s real form was. -Tamara, you’re a sneaky little asshole, but damnit you have a nice car. -The CGI for this episode must’ve eaten the budget like a kid eats a happy meal. -How the fuck did the Blue Fairy get there so quickly! Hell, maybe you ARE shady! -I actually like that we see that selfish side of Neal in the last flashback. It shows both how the world has changed him AND how the Stiltskin’ cowardice curse has left some bits in him as well. -Tamara! I’m supposed to hate you! Stop being so snuggly! -”I promise I will never lie to you again.” ...I’m sorry, Emma. I’ve gotta do it. *deep breath* Suuuuuuuuuuure, Emma. -”It had started to blacken because of what I did.” ...I guess I’m supposed to believe that she redeemed herself after the Maleficent stuff. -”But it [redemption] cost him [August] everything.” Yeahhh...no. He seriously went from what was probably a pretty miserable life to a fresh start. -I kind of wish Greg and Tamara ended up being recurring villains. We’d get the villain ship I always wanted and they could be curb stomped all the time! XD Arcs - How are These Storylines Progressing? Tamara - Tamara’s shown up! I actually love her first episode as a villain. Yeah, the taser is corny, but if that puts you over the top, then I have to ask just what show you’re watching! But onto the character herself, she’s incredibly intelligent with how she deals with people. Within ten seconds of seeing Neal, she knows how to play him like a fiddle and her time with August in the present shows the insight she’s gained about him in their one encounter. Hell, she sort of won the day, and all without using a hint of magic! Emma lying to Henry - Finally! This arc is over! I gotta say, this was a hard (Albeit well done) arc to watch. It’s never easy seeing your favorite character get antagonized, no matter how justly. That having been said, as there was no reference to the lie before Emma brought it up right before the final apology, I can’t help but wish that it was either brought up once more in this episode or done in the last episode where it had more thematic prominence. Favorite Dynamic Snow and Emma. As I pointed out in my “Insights,” Emma’s motivational speech to David and heard indirectly by Snow is the thing that bounces her back to life and that sentiment carries Snow throughout the rest of the episode. It’s such a small moment but it speaks so well of the bond that the two of them have built up over the seasons. I like the way that Emma inspires Snow, of ony for how funny it is to see her listen to “My Reputation” while shooting arrows for stress relief. And suddenly, the toaster scene makes so much sense... Writer Kalinda Vazquez and Robert Hull are here for their swan song of the season (Try saying THAT five times fast!) and they both do a pretty decent job here. The dialogue, story, and character choices fit well, and while there were some aspects I wish were handled better, they did an amicable job. Rating 8/10. Once again, I don’t find that there was a lot to say about this episode, but it was quite a good one! It was an entertaining watch with a nice new setting for the flashback, and characters that fit together to convey a great story! I found it to be pretty funny at times and it got me excited about what’s to come! And can you really ask for more out of an episode? ...Well, yeah, but it’s good enough! XD ()()()()()()()()() Thank you so much for reading and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales. Sorry this wasn’t a super long or in-depth review, but I can only work with what I’m given. Anyway, if it’s not too much trouble before you go, I’d like to ask you for a little help! A couple of days ago, it was announced that the finale won’t be broken up for the final week of the Season 2 posts, and I want to know if you want me to do two separate reviews, or one mega-ultra-super-chocolatey-magical-sugar-spice-and-everything-nice review! It will be a LONG review, but if you think that these two episodes beLONG together, please let me know so I’ll know what to do when the time comes! You can leave a reply here or send me an ask or send me your thoughts by carrier pigeon. Really, it’s all good!

Next time...whoo. My cotton shirt is making me soooo hot! I’m going to change into something...lacey. ;)

See you all then.

Season 2 Tally (157/220) Writer Tally for Season 2: Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis: (39/60) Jane Espenson (35/50) Andrew Chambliss and Ian Goldberg (31/50) David Goodman (24/30)* Robert Hull (24/30)* Christine Boylan (17/30) Kalinda Vazquez (28/30)* Daniel Thomsen (18/20)* * Indicates that their work for the season is complete Operation Rewatch Archives

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 3x20 Kansas

Aw! Last episode of season 3 with Zel Zel! I’m gonna miss her so much!!  

I really love this episode!  

Poor Snow!

Glinda’s such a biatch. I hate the way she just turns on Zelena when Dorothy comes along.

I’m so mad about Charming’s sword being broken. That’s my favourite sword!

Wait, Zelena broke through Emma’s protection spell I think. Regina said that she’d only be able to do that if her brand of magic was stronger than Emma’s.

Wouldn’t it be better if Emma and Regina went to face Zelena together?

Archie and Henry scene! It’s been so long! There was a time when Archie was Henry’s only friend. Adorable buddies!

Yeah Emma, no way is Henry going with you to New York. He wants to stay in Storybrooke. I’d have like to see Emma have that conversation with Regina and Henry.

It’s so sad that Emma wants to leave Storybrooke when she was perfectly content being there in season 2. I guess Neverland changed her perspective but then and again she was also so sad to be separated from her family in ‘Going Home.’

Zelena to Emma and Hook: “Aww. You two are so adorable.” She’s such a hardcore cs shipper, bless her!

Hey! The Witch of the North is Art from Tower Prep! I love Art! She’s amazing!

How did they know Zelena was brought to Oz by a cyclone?  

I find it so shady that Glinda gave Zelena that necklace. Her and the Blue Fairy would get along.

I wonder if the flashing lights when Snow’s giving birth are because of Zelena or because baby Neal has magic.

I love the way Zelena just walks into the hospital, knocking everyone out with the flick of her wrist.

Look at the lil bubba!

Lol! Poor Whale!

Omg poor Snow and Charming! Being separated from their baby moments after birth again!

Poor Zelena. They were just using her! Is Dorothy even a witch? I don’t think she is!

Dorothy can’t be the sorceress in the prophecy. I could have sworn she didn’t have magic when she met Ruby.

I call bullcrap in Regina being able to do light magic all of a sudden!

What did that water do to Zelena? It must be magic water because otherwise how does she bathe? Or was it all an act for some reason?

Glinda just switches like a shady biatch. One minute she’s seemingly trying to help Zelena, the next she’s praising Dorothy for destroying her!

Follow the yellow brick road!

Zelena just said that Neal was the product of the truest love. Does that mean Snow and Charming have the truest love? I’m down for that!

I wonder, if Zelena has gone back to the time she wanted to, would she have killed her biological father to keep him quiet about Cora’s pregnancy.

You go Zel Zel! Go be a baby again! Be freeee!

My bby broke the laws of magic!!

Weee! Rumple and Zelena be playing bowling with the Charmings!

Regina having light magic just when they needed it is such bullcrap! They chose the easy way out! I do not accept this as canon. It makes me so mad!

Emma’s a big sister! And Charming got a son like Ruth said he always wanted. Not that he doesn’t love Emma equally!

Lol. Rumple dragging Zelena across the floor telekinetically is hilarious!

And Dorothy couldn’t have been the sorceress to unseat the greatest evil because she went home and didn’t take the seat. So, I wonder what the prophecy was really about.

Did Zelena just banish Glinda to another realm without a portal or slippers or anything but her own magic??! That’s powerful stuff! I wonder if she could have banished Rumple to the LWOM like that.

Wait, Rumple just admitted that not everything he did whilst Zelena’s prisoner was always her! But why would he do those things?

Why would Rumple pretend to give Belle the dagger? Just for it to seem romantic or like he trusts her implicitly?

They got their baby back!

I forget how Emma gets her magic back.

Zelena’s fear when she realises Rumple has the dagger! I freaking jumped! My poor baby! Please don’t hurt her Rumple!!

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

You don’t know how much I cried when I thought we’d never see her again!

Why turn her to porcelain?!

I should have known she’d be back when she disappeared in a puff of smoke and triggered the time travel spell. I think I always held out hope!

[makeitagood0neao3]

The timeline bits were perfectly explained omg. And I’m not gonna lie. When I saw Tenet I did not picture Neal as a dark character but now I’m all about it. I think he was the perfect character for this fic, it catches you off guard! He is so dark! Like one of the darkest men I’ve read. Poor Reader never stood a chance.

Time After Time | dark!Neil (Tenet) x reader

summary: it’s tricky when feelings get involved in an organization like tenet.  still, you’ve never been happier than you are with your boyfriend Neil, even if he’s a bit elusive and a very erratic coworker.  for all his secrets, you never expected what he would tell you the day he finally proposed.

word count: 5.5k

warnings:  smut!! (dub con, for extremely complex reasons), almost kinda stockholm syndrome?, yandere/soft!dark neil, breeding kink, confusing time travel stuff

“What are we doing here?” you asked as you looked around the safehouse— like any secret Tenet hideaway, it was sleek but sterile, nestled in a historic neighborhood in southeastern Moscow.  It was sort of how you remembered from the last time you’d been here for work, but somebody had rearranged the living room and changed out the rug.  (Knowing the nature of your business, you were pretty confident you knew why the rug was replaced.)  

Keep reading

[karsata]

I posted 173 times in 2021

18 posts created (10%)

155 posts reblogged (90%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 8.6 posts.

I added 95 tags in 2021

#randl - 16 posts

#pretty - 16 posts

#gmm - 14 posts

#link neal - 10 posts

#art - 9 posts

#personal - 8 posts

#aesthetic - 6 posts

#me - 6 posts

#jacksepticeye - 5 posts

#rhink - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 73 characters

#this is exactly how i’ve imagined giraffes would sound if they could talk

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

TAG PEOPLE YOU WANT TO KNOW BETTER

I would like to give very special thanks to @apparentlynotreallyfinnish and @ultimatenomi for their reasoning of not tagging people and just inviting anyone who's interested to participate, cause it helped me to not feel excluded, as I don't have many close friends here and my insecurities were rising up, when I didn't see anyone tag me, so thank you very much!

Anyway here are my answers:

Relationship status: single

Favorite color: orange, I’m usually very moody and pessimistic, so seeing orange makes me happy as I associate it with sun, positivity and comfort

Pets: I don’t have pets, as my mom is deathly afraid of dogs (also we live in an apartment on 9th floor, so it is not the ideal situation) and allergic to cats, which would have been the 2 possible options to be considered, but I love love my friends cat, so I kinda consider him as my pet.

Favorite food: potatoes and chicken (both in any type and form), this is my comfort food which is again tied to happy memories from my childhood

Coke or Pepsi: none, I usually don’t drink soda, mostly just tea and coffee, or fresh juice, however when I do, it’s either sprite or 7up, I like lemony/limey sodas

Day or night: definitely day, I’m at my most energetic state during the 1st half of the day, after which I just shut down

Chapstick or Lipstick: chapstickes or lip balms, I always have one with me, cause my lips are always dry and peeling off. I also have a wide variety of them (medical and cosmetic ones)

Text or Call: Text but like in online messengers, talking to people on phone just gives me the heebie-jeebies

Last song I listened to: Call Me X - Lil Nas X vs. DMX (Mashup) by oneboredjeu Mashup (cool mashup channel btw)

Favorite band/artist/group: too many to count, I listen to all sorts of music, but I can tell you about my all time favorite song (Bohemian Rhapsody) and the artist I’m currently obsessed with (Corpse husband)

Any hobbies: coloring, scrapbooking, playing guitar, writing..

Anyone is welcome to fill this out if they feel like it!

5 notes • Posted 2021-04-13 08:47:36 GMT

#4

Does anyone know what Jack and Tina were talking about in Korean during yesterday’s Among Us game?

5 notes • Posted 2021-01-06 21:39:21 GMT

#3

omg, what was that with the beef jelly tongue, poor Link nearly choked on it 😳😅

6 notes • Posted 2021-11-15 11:45:15 GMT

#2

I just don’t get it, why does the GMMmore need to be heavily constructed or have a game in it (especially those paddles, as @likestrawberrywhine would say burn them forever) it’s just so much more better when Randl just go off on their own stories and creative rumbles, just let them be, it’s so much more entertaining than learning whether jam and jelly are the same, c’mon Mythical!

43 notes • Posted 2021-06-10 10:47:59 GMT

#1

See the full post

49 notes • Posted 2021-10-19 12:15:52 GMT

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