#like ok i also have to mask and rehearse conversations and want to die when i get a Bad Sensory Experience sooooooo

[g0reoz]

love it when i'm like "oh yeah, things are getting better!!" and then i realize they aren't, i've just been in my room a lot more

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[etcwrites]

Wait for me at your Fingertips

Lancelot Week Day 3

Prompt: earth/space

Rating: Explicit

Status: Ongoing ( 2 / ? )

Summary:

In which Lotor dances, Lance insists and both of them decide to be stubborn. Also! There are sparks and a healthy amount of groping! (Dancing!AU)

AO3 Link    //     Chapter 1: New Event and a Stranger

Chapter 2: Desire and an Acquaintance

Lotor didn’t see Lance for two weeks, not that he kept a score, not that it mattered…

Altea Ballet and Dance Studios was a big place, with at least hundred students and dancers. Without the common goal of a project or a rehearsal, which wouldn’t be present until the choreographers got their plans in order and produced something more than a few scenes; it was only natural to have different practice sessions.

Still, he liked to think it as a sign, a good sign that Lance had finally took the hint and decided to move on to something different.

Something..better…

It wasn’t as if Lotor was self-depreciating in any way but he wasn’t blind either.

He knew he had to keep his head down. He knew he had to work hard or he would never get back on his feet, never land a solo. He was still on thin ice and the only way to solidify his feet was to get Allura by his side and only way to do that was through hard work...

and possibly by not getting involved with other dancers...

no matter how pretty their blue eyes were...

Letting all other thoughts fade from his mind, Lotor exhaled in a measured pace, the studio quiet at lunch hour. Pushing on the player, he let the music fill the room, his mind already following the expected pattern of movement prior to the sequence’s starting point.

This was one of the first pieces finished by the choreographers, probably because it needed too little to be added, when the original was already good.

Closing his eyes he tried to imagine the scene, involuntarily Honevra's figure flashing before his eyes, long legs on pointe, elegantly poised fingers, sunshine and the way her hand fit-

Hearing the queue tone, Lotor raised on his fingertips, his movement a second late but easily compensated with a quicker arm movement as he moved into the next step, his body turning and moving, turning and moving, his leg opening a bit wider with each turn as the music got more upbeat.

At the next exaggerated turn, he controlled his breath, muscles turning taut in concentration as he made a full turn on toes, arms stretched to his sides, fingers poised and leg opening towards the ceiling in a movement designed to look out of control but forced his body to stay sharp, and absolutely on point.

Vaguely Lotor could feel his hair band falling, long hair pooling down his shoulders. He landed on his feet with more speed than needed, compensating with an outward smaller turn on his toes before suddenly stopping, his mind immediately conjuring up an image of a partner to move in synch with the next pattern.

Still on his toes he took a few steps back, his mind counting with the music, before moving forward then turning, his leg opening wide and up, almost touching his fingers before turning and turning across the studio, each movement becoming a smaller echo of the previous one to finally...stop.

He looked back over his shoulder, mind focusing on the faceless partner while he let his arm reach backwards before pulling it quickly and taking another step forward, and –

He was out of the stage.

Taking a few deep breaths, Lotor turned, feet moving towards his water bottle, mind identifying the weak spots in his performance, trying to resolve how to get it better before his brain finally caught up to realize the music had stopped all together.

Raising his head, he was faced with an all too familiar figure.

"Heyy" Lance smiled, leaning against the wall.

At the sight of that disarming smile, Lotor's stomach gave an embarrassing somersault. "No pick-up lines?" He goaded hoping to distract the boy.

Lance's smile only turned into a smug smirk. "Awwww, did you miss them?"

Lotor raised his eyebrows, hoping he looked bored and unimpressed before stopping before the other and taking his towel to wipe away at his neck.

Lance's eyes tracked the movement, gaze slowly taking in his chest, his hands, before finally focusing on his face. "You know there’s a lot where they came from" he continued taking a step forward.

Lotor turned his side to him, desire rising from his stomach but body literally giving the other dancer the cold shoulder. "I appreciate it, " he drawled. "but I think I'll pass"

"Hey!" Lance exclaimed his expression sobering up. "Ok..ok..I think we might have gotten on the wrong foot." His eyes darted downwards, a sudden nervous energy settling into his hands. "Look, uh Lotor- Can I call you Lotor?"

At his neutral look Lance continued. " First, let me just say, that was one of the sickest first contact dances I've ever seen! You- I mean- you would make an amazing Space Emperor!"

Lotor couldn’t help the satisfied smirk on his lips. It was so good to hear that, and to see the wonder in Lance’s eyes.

"Uh.." Lance must have gained some confidence from his expression because he continued faster. "And I just want to gain some experience. I want to dance to this, man. I know it's probably a long shot for me to be chosen for Earth Soldier but I still want to learn!"

Lotor took a sip from his water bottle, expression closing off as he guessed where this conversation was going.

"And I thought it would be good to-"

"No" Lotor cut him off before Lance could finish the sentence. At the crestfallen expression on the other dancer's face he put his bottle down. "Look...Lance" he started, fingers clasping around the edge of his towel and pulling it off his neck. "I think it would be beneficial for you to find another partner."

"But you also need a partner to practice this dance!"

Lotor hid his face by turning his back and moving across the studio to take his hairband of the floor. "I'm doing fine on my own. And you should get someone else to be your pair. I’m sure you can find many who will be willing." Schooling his features into a neutral expression, he turned towards Lance, arms rising up to tie his long hair.  "Besides, I don't need a partner right now, I think it will be a waste of time."

For a few seconds hurt flashed through Lance's eyes, causing Lotor's heart to squeeze painfully but soon a neutral mask had settled over his face.

His voice, on the other hand, did nothing to hide his feelings.

"Ok-uh..that's- that's cool" Lance turned his back to him, a single finger rising to scratch at the back of his neck.  "I understand..well- I-uh.. I guess, I’ll see you around."

Lotor almost opened his mouth to call him back, wishing for a way to comfort him, but just in a few heart beats Lance was out of the studio. Voices of lively dancers fleeted in with his movement, only to die out as the door closed behind him.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Lotor has always been proud of his ability and resolve to move forward. He learned and he adapted, foreseeing difficulties, pushing on and never looking back...

So, he wasn't feeling guilty. He didn't feel guilty! At least not for this…

"How does this feel?" A deep calm voice asked, strong fingers pushing into his tense thigh muscles.

Lotor inhaled and exhaled, trying to return to the moment because physical checks were actually important.

Dwelling on his feelings...not so much.

"Not too bad, " he concluded. "There is a bit of strain but nothing I can't handle."

Without a word the other changed sides, finding and pushing on Lotor's muscles on his right leg this time. Sudden sharp pain shot down his muscles, body jerking before he could control himself.

"You are pushing yourself" the other man stated, pushing his fringe out of his face and sitting on the chair near the examination station.

"It's fine," Lotor breathed tight, waiting for the pain to subside. "I can handle it, Shirogane."

The other gave him an unimpressed look but turned on his chair to pick up a tube from one of the cabinets. "I didn't say you couldn't" he soothed even though his eyes were hard with determination, or maybe it was regret. "But resting your muscles from time to time would actually help"

For a second Lotor felt treacherous guilt trying to make its way up to his heart, chest going tight with the clear concern in Shiro's eyes. He wondered if the man missed dancing, if it pained him to be this close but still unable to reach what he wanted...to see other dancers get close to his mistakes but still find a way to get back on their feet.

Working of the tube Shiro gave him a look. "Anytime you are ready," he teased gesturing towards Lotor's tights, an open, amused expression on his face.

Lotor pushed his lips together, trying to keep a neutral expression. He stepped of the table and without much fuss pulled off his tights, only leaving his briefs before pulling himself on the table once again. The minute his ass touched the cold surface, Shiro pushed him down with his injured arm, before moving to spread the ointment down his right leg.

For a few seconds Lotor's eyes lingered across the scars over Shiro's shoulder, white lines engulfing the area and especially looking striking beside the black sleeveless shirt. Of course, that was before inscrutable pain shot down his leg, effectively distracting him. "Shit!" he breathed.

"No," Shiro commented with a flippant tone. "It’s almost a month worth of rest."

Lotor tried to frown but pain was still there, clawing at his muscles but Shiro didn’t yield, pushing right into his thigh, massaging, kneading and pulling without mercy. Lotor breathed through the pain the best he could, tense fingers pulling at the sides of the table.

"You are pushing yourself too hard" Shiro commented once again, this time his voice softer.

Lotor huffed but before he could reply Shiro had pulled his leg up and over his shoulder, hands going up and fingers digging into his upper thigh. Lotor almost bit his lip with pain. “Nnnghh!...”

"From what I hear, the project is still a work in progress and you are pushing yourself this hard for an unknown."

"I think-" Lotor forced out, his voice tight with agony. "ugh- I think I can do without the commentary."

Not a single muscle in Shiro's face moved, his grip staying the same but still, Lotor felt dissatisfaction diffusing from the man. "Lotor," he called, slowly moving down the leg.

The urge to apologize churned deep in Lotor’s stomach, almost tempting him. Being one of the few people in the studio with whom Lotor could actually have a decent conversation with, he knew he should be more careful not to offend Shiro but-

There was something dangerous about the man and it was not just his murderous fingers. It was-

"You are trying on the Space Emperor's role."

It was his scary and annoying skills in observation.

Lotor forced himself to face Shiro, keeping his eyes direct but soft, unchallenging even when panic and anger burned under his skin, motivating him to lash out. "I am," he agreed, "Is there anything wrong with being ambitious?"

Shiro looked at him in silence for a few seconds before gently placing Lotor's leg on the table. "If this is what you believe you must do, I will understand" Spreading more ointment on his fingers he moved on to Lotor's left leg which was a breeze compared to the other. "However,you don't need it." Kneading the muscles Shiro once again pulled Lotor's leg over his shoulder, fingers pushing in his upper thigh. "If you think you need the solo to prove yourself, to atone...you are mistaken."

This time Lotor couldn’t hold the other's gaze, eyes moving down and to the side, as words cut too deep.

"I know you feel guilty because of what happened with Narti, but-"

"Stop!" Lotor gritted his teeth, turning to Shiro with a fierce glint in his eyes. "I don't need your advice, Shirogane!  I'm not some young doe eyed dancer who has to be coddled. I know what I am doing! And it is not your place-"

"Uhhhhh..."

At the extra voice both of them turned towards the door, only to be greeted by pretty blue eyes. "Is it bad timing? I figured with all the yelli-"

Then suddenly the boy fell quiet, his eyes moving from Lotor's face to his leg which was still thrown over Shiro's shoulder then to Shiro's fingers digging into his upper thigh, dangerously close to his crotch. A pretty blush spread over Lance's cheeks, eyes opening wider.

"Hey, Lance" Shiro greeted easily, fingers massaging and pushing on a tight spot with a healthy portion of vengeance.

Lotor threw his head back, pain then relief spreading down his leg. "Seriously!" he breathed, voice hoarse.

At the door he could almost feel Lance shifting from one leg to another. "I'll come back if-"

"No, it's fine" Shiro said all professional and prim as he carefully put down Lotor's leg, his face staying suspiciously pleasant. "We are done." Then turning to Lotor he gave him a fake smile. "No practice for a full day" he stated, entirely too pleased with Lotor's frown. "If I see you in any way dancing, I will send Holt after you"

Shit...not that.

Giving Shiro an indignant look he swiftly pulled on his tights, and got down the table. "I'll help," he heard at his right but before he could refuse Lance had already taken his arm, ushering him out of the door and down the corridor.

Muscles still quivering from the massage, Lotor let him be, silence slowly unravelling between them. He knew he didn’t have to speak. From what he had seen so far he guessed Lance liked to talk.

"Sooo..." the boy blurted like clockwork, fingers momentarily getting tighter around Lotor's body. "You and Shiro, huh? I gotta say, you sure know how to pick them. I mean...those muscles! Seriously! Take me home and lay me -" Lance must have noticed the way Lotor was looking at him because he faltered, a faint blush covering his cheeks.

"You are certainly imaginative," Lotor commented, a weird hollow feeling of panic churning at his stomach. He wanted to squish it down, wanted to eradicate any and every variation because no, he could not accept being jealous of Shiro nor he could accept his need to have this guy’s attention. "But no, I cannot say my type fits his. For one, I am not a beautiful authoritative dance school owner."

"Shiro has a crush on Allura?!” Lance gasped then made a cute contemplative noise at the back of his throat. “Well, I can't say I blame him, she is gorgeous and I don't say this because she is my friend but yeah..." He trailed off for a few seconds, letting Lotor guide them towards the lockers.

With each step his body started to feel better, stronger even though his heart felt like it was hanging in free fall. He was just about to send Lance to his way when the other curled his fingers around his wrist, body spreading against Lotor's side. "Sooo.." he said again, changing the simple word with his flirtatious tone. “What is your type?"

What?!...

Lotor turned his head to look into those blue eyes, his breath almost hitching at finding Lance's lips so close.

The boy felt nice and warm against him, fingers drawing lazy circles around Lotor's inner arm. A pleasant fuzzy feeling curled around Lotor's heart and with their proximity it took a while before he could remember their previous conversation. Blinking, he inhaled a controlled breath, then with a quick look down at Lance's lips, cleared his throat.

He couldn’t do this…

"I can handle from this point."

Lance only smiled wider and like a shark that smelled blood, pounced. "Ohh I'm sure," he cooed, taking a step forward and pushing their bodies against the wall. His hands moved over Lotor's body, one settling at his hip while the other brushed against his shoulder blades to settle on the wall. "But won't you like me to handle something else as well?" Resting his body on Lotor's he whispered. "I'll let you.."

At the sudden forwardness Lotor's eyes opened up in surprise and before he could control himself, his treacherous breath was hitching, sudden heat burning up his spine.

And he wasn't going to deny it! He wanted to! He wanted to take Lance and drive him against the wall, taking his mouth, pulling his hair, letting fingers explore his skin, hands sneaking under that soft shirt.

Could he though? Should he?  

He almost expected Allura to turn around the corner and yell at them and yet...the corridor stayed quiet, only their loaded breaths mingling, and their eyes linking.

Maybe he could...

Leaning against the wall Lotor couldn’t help the way his lips turned up, a pleased expression settling across his face and tension slowly bleeding out.  "Is that so now? How forward of you, Lance"

Lance looked like he wanted to have him right then and there, eyes turning darker. He got even closer, leaving no space between their bodies as he snuggled against Lotor, a thigh between his legs, chest to chest.

Lotor arched his back, holding on to Lance's bicep, as the hand at his hip got even more daring, slipping down to be splayed over his tailbone.

"You don't know me that well yet, but I can be as forward as you want me to be.”

Feeling Lance's erection against his stomach, his playful voice whispering at his ear, Lotor had to control his breathing before he did something stupid, like moan... "How cheesy" he murmured instead, hips getting restless as desire pooled at his stomach, breaths getting tight with need. His head fell forward, long hair falling and hiding his face from Lance.

"Is this you complaining?" Lance's voice was amused, still playful as he shifted his leg and slowly rubbed his thigh against Lotor's half erect cock.

Pleasure shoot up his spine, fingers getting tight around Lance's arm as he pulled the boy closer, breath turning into a small whimper when their mouths met in a loaded kiss.

Immediately Lance adapted, the hand over the wall cupping Lotor's cheek, cold fingers feeling amazing on his overheated skin while his other hand grew bolder, slipping down Lotor's ass to pull and squeeze.

Lotor jerked, this time a moan slipping, only to be smothered by that intense kiss. His heart beat forcefully, cock turning painfully hard, as Lance’s tongue moved against his, fingers curling into his hair and shifting their grip to turn the kiss even deeper.

Fuck, he thought, legs trembling, fingers digging into Lance's skin. I have to stop…

With short breath Lotor pulled back, cutting off the kiss, the wet noise immediately going to his groin. A moan got stuck at his throat as he turned his head to the side to put some distance. "Lance" he panted, voice wavering.

Lance made an unsatisfied noise at the back of his throat, his mouth immediately moving down Lotor's neck. "No, no, no, no" he chanted against his skin, mouth leaving a burning trail and breaths teasing against sensitive skin.

Lotor shivered, head leaning against the wall and leaving his neck vulnerable to Lance’s kisses.

"You are going to say something negative or worse...logical"  With a vengeance Lance gave a small bite at his collarbone, successfully pulling a shameless whimper from Lotor.

"Don't" he continued, hand dragging down Lotor's chest.

“I can’t-“

It fell from his lips, unrestricted but true.

He couldn’t…he couldn’t take the risk.

Silence filled the space between them, slowly growing as Lance leaned back with a pained sigh, lips and hands dragging against Lotor's skin, almost unwilling to let go.

“I knew you were going to say this…”

A sigh...

“I can't be your practice partner, I can't be your - " Lance moved his fingers between them. Then he fixed his eyes on Lotor. "Anything else I should know about?"

Vaguely Lotor realized when done right, either situation would have been a perfect opportunity get into Allura's good graces. But he didn’t… he didn't want to use Lance like that. For an unfantomable and scary reason he didn’t think he even could.

"Lance," he started, grateful that his voice stayed in control. "Let it go."

He hoped he was not too harsh, though the sad frustrated look on the other's face said otherwise. Pushing himself of the wall, Lotor brushed against Lance to move down the corridor.

He had to do this, he had to keep him away.

But even if that was true, Lotor couldn’t shake the disappointed drop down his stomach, the horrible feeling of panic squeezing at his throat.

It only took two steps for his body to grow cold, Lance's warmth seeping off.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Ok! First of, hold your salvos and just listen, yes?

Lotor wasn't sure if he understood the situation.

It had been two weeks (and four days) since the incident, since he had blatantly rejected those pretty blue eyes, pushed him off and sent him on his way.

Never mind the quick stolen glances, tense silences, awkward meetings in the hallways...

Never mind the uncomfortable churning in his stomach, the warm tingling at the back of his neck…

Never mind the way his mind still lingered, unable to forget that kiss, the warmth of that body, the way those fingers felt against his cheeks…and the heartbroken look on the boy’s face…

Now though...

Lance looked absolutely fine, no nasty glare, no glower, no pout… He was relaxed, hand cocked up on one hip and a new light in his eyes.

Inherently suspicious, Lotor waited, mouth closing and lips turning into a tight line.

So the boy was over it. Then was it about revenge? Reconciliation?...

"I get it, man." Lance said at last, determined and completely accepting with a cute little crease between his brows.

Lotor felt his eyes opening wider.

“You don't want a practice partner, ok. You don't want...anything else. That's fine, it's cool! Let's just...let's just stay friends? There is no harm in that, yes?" By this point, Lance was clearly trying to look carefree but Lotor only needed to look into his eyes to see hope burning.

He swallowed his sigh, same hope burning in his stomach as well, desire squeezing around his heart.

Friends, huh? No harm in staying friends... right?

Lotor barely kept himself from shaking his head. He knew he shouldn't do it... he really shouldn't.

“I guess it can't be too bad" he replied, before he could stop, before he could convince himself that it would be unwise. And although he kept his tone teasing, his heart beat hard in his ribcage.

And just like that Lance was grinning brightly, eyes shining in the afternoon light. "Oh, thank you, your Highness!"

Your Highness?... This boy was ridiculous…

Lotor rewarded him with a small smile, excitement running under his skin. Turning and crouching down to zip his duffle bag, he threw a look over his shoulder. "You are most welcome"

Then rising to his feet, he took in Lance's practice clothes, where sweat had already settled at the corners of his t-shirt, hair looking matted, tousled, and cheeks slightly flushed.

Tempting...

"You shouldn't leave the practice in the middle, your muscles will get cold"

Lance's grin only got wider, his attitude turning flirty in just a few seconds. "Awww, are you worried about me?"

Lotor chose to give him his amusedly unimpressed look. "Just common sense, Lance." Then turning his back to the other dancer, he moved down to the door. "Get back to your practice."

A genuine laugh, then...

“Yes, your Highness!"

Lotor couldn't phantom the sudden change, his innate suspicious mind trying to find a focal point of difference in their interactions to feed this occurrence and coming up empty handed.

But...

…for the first time in two weeks Lotor was able to take in a relaxed breath, warm satisfaction settling into his bones.

For now, he was going to take what he can.

[zed-air]

Pandemic Thoughts

______

Strange times. Strange thoughts. 

Assorted and unstructured. Updated as needed.

- - - - -

2020-04-23

I spent a lifetime in the service industry, and I’m still very emotionally invested in it. A lot of restaurants will not survive the pandemic. Period. Pick a few favourites and support the hell out of them, as regularly as you can, if you want them to still be around a few months from now. Preferably independent ones that enrich your community. 

For those using third-party delivery services to bring you dinner, be aware: for every $10 a restaurant receives through Skip the Dishes sales, $3 of that sale goes to these delivery services (only $7 goes to the eatery). The pub/restaurant where I worked all those years wouldn't have lasted long with those margins. (link)

I've been hammering on about this for a while, and I'll probably continue doing so. If you're in a position to support local independent restaurants, go to the effort of calling them yourself and collecting your own order. Many offer their own delivery service, so use that when needed. Avoid using a third-party service unless necessary.

I still speak to local restauranteurs and pals in the service industry. They concur: these third-party delivery services are not about supporting local eateries. They were primarily useful for supplementing, not replacing, dine-in business. Overall, they are about convenience - and they are now crippling the businesses trapped into using them.

- - - - -

2020-04-27

Before I left the service industry, I fully expected to spend the rest of my life as a publican, performer, and venue operator. Had my fortunes been different and that proved possible, the current situation would have destroyed whatever I had built to this point. This will likewise be the case for countless others worldwide right now, including established successful ones. (link)

I have no idea what will remain after this - when we reach a point that public gatherings are an option again. Will there be anywhere left to gather? Will there be any venues left where performers and audiences can safely meet? Safely rehearse? Safely travel? 

Have I played my last concert? Have we all? Not a clue.

- - - - -

2020-04-28

I chipped a couple teeth some time in the last month. Thanks to PPE mask shortages and general public health concerns, I’m unable to get an appointment with my dentist of 20+ years. As a result, two relatively minor procedures are likely to spiral into major dental issues before they can be addressed. Probably much more expensive ones too. With a persistent jaw ache to keep me company in the interim. 

About two months ago, I wiped-out badly on slippery ground whilst entering my workplace, and I’m pretty certain I either fractured or broke my tailbone in the fall. It’s made sitting fairly painful, and resuming standing agonizing. Only time and avoiding sitting can really help mend it, so I’ve been trying to alternate between walking, sitting, and lying down whenever possible. Two months later, it’s only marginally better. No point bothering trying to get an x-ray these days. Same goes for the non-essential blood work a different doctor requested.

The pandemic is causing major interruptions and interference in many different areas of life, and might cause a variety of completely unrelated health issues in the process. People will die (and have died) just from the massive disruptions all this has caused. Please keep things like this in mind if your primary complaint is being bored at home, or that you’re being oppressed. 

- - - - -

2020-05-19

I was finally able to get into my dentist’s office today to fix my chipped teeth from a few months ago. Spent the appointment listening to a staff meeting with telephone earbuds, and trying to hear how COVID-World is affecting operations. This is modern life now: work from everywhere, go nowhere, remain active whilst being passive (possibly as your skull is drilled out), and do your best not to catch the plague in the process. Tough times, and tight days ahead.

Keeping busy. The weather’s finally stable enough to allow my wife to start working on her new garden. After a long winter and countless weeks delay, this will be very healthful for her. I’m taking any available radio shifts, workshopping various music ideas of my own, mixing songs for The Bolt Actions album when there’s time, and working with my daughter on her remote schooling. We’re also spending a lot of time learning math by playing cribbage, and trying to take walks when the weather’s agreeable. She misses her school friends and teacher. This is a bizarre time to be anybody, but it must be particularly strange to be a child right now.

Temperament-wise, this period hasn’t been as difficult for us as it has been for so many others. I can spend long periods indoors without irritation or issue, but motivation and action are sluggish as inertia reigns. I should be reading books like mad in the evenings, but I don’t remember the last time I felt like picking one up. As time grinds into a homogenous paste, weeks disappear. This has made keeping up with friends and correspondence far tardier than I intended. The atmosphere has been very good at dispelling impulse activity, though. I don’t remember my last drive-through hamburger or vending-machine soda. Nevertheless, it remains troubling to see so many businesses and friends struggling with the very real feeling that they won’t survive these times, and that what will follow might be unrecognizable.

I hope you’re coping ok.

- - - - -

2020-05-28

Keeping occupied during isolation. I’ve been listening to a lot of vinyl records, and I’ve also been enjoying my long-neglected CD collection now that I have the remote radio kit linked to my stereo.

I’m going through recordings at a pretty heavy clip presently. Keeping track of what I’ve listened to is bogging down my phone with photographs and notes. Decided to change how I’m sharing this information. My posts on zedair.net are a bit clunky and overlooked, and I don’t want to bog-down my own personal Instagram profile with music posts. 

So, I’ve started a new Instagram to better document the Zibliothek. Not ideal, but it’ll keep things orderly and more people are likely to see and/or enjoy it there than they do here. It’ll save me some extra cross-posting time too. Feel free to give it a follow if you like album art, books, films, and other cultural artifacts.

- - - - -

2020-08-13

I’ve now been tested twice now for COVID. Negative results both times, I’m relieved to say.

In Edmonton, most folks are being directed to the same facility in Mill Woods on the city’s south side - walking distance from the neighbourhood where I grew up. The building used to be a Grant MacEwan campus, but has since been converted to some kind of Covenant Health facility. The tests occur in the building’s gymnasium.

I keep hearing that the tests are quick, but both times I've gone there have been 400-500 people in a line snaking around a field. Off days, I'm told, but luckily both had beautiful weather. Each time I got inside, I asked if something was amiss to cause such a backup, and the nurses (who are working like crazy just trying to keep up) can only apologize for the delay. I would never give them a hard time about it, but I still don't know why some days there's a quad filled with bodies waiting to enter, and other days where one can get in and out in under 30 mins. 

The first time I went, I had an appointment for 10:30am. Not knowing what to expect, I arrived at 10:30 and found two long lines of people. The left line is for people with appointments. The right line is for drop-in testing. Finding it a bit perplexing, I asked a random person in middle of the left line if she have an appointment, and for when. Like me, her appointment was for 10:30, and she was a good 200 people ahead of my place at the back of the line. I have no idea if the people in front or behind had the same appointment times. You just joined the back of the line regardless of appointment, and waited for everyone before you to finish. I'm not certain what making an appointment actually accomplishes, but it seems to get you access to the faster-moving line once it actually starts moving. The actual time of the appointment seems meaningless. The appointment line was stationary until around 11:15 with zero movement, but then began moving gradually, slow and steady. I didn't notice much movement in the drop-in line. On that occasion, I was finished by 12:15. 

My second test occurred yesterday. The second time, I decided to try the drop-in. Hindsight has taught me that, though this line is much shorter than the appointment line, it moves far slower. I recognized several people from the appointment line who arrived hours after I had, who were tested and leaving before I'd advanced 50 feet. Lesson learned: always make an appointment, but never for earlier than 11:30am.

I seem to be a beacon to people with questions in situations like this. Behind me in the drop-in line was a very talkative, but friendly woman who was about to fly to Egypt with her husband. They required COVID clearance to be allowed to fly. Anyway, after the first hour she bailed to go collect her husband, who'd been waiting in the car due to mobility issues. I promised I'd hold her spot. They parked far away, so it was nearly another hour before they returned to the line. I enjoyed the quiet interim.

Husband didn't seem to like her talking with a strange man, but eventually decided I was harmless and struck up a separate conversation with me. Given that the line was moving super slowly, and that I'm chronically friendly when there's a language barrier, it made for a long slog when he led with "So, do you think this whole Corona hype is a media invention?" Especially when I'd already said that my profession is in radio.

I don't know whether it was a constructive conversation, but we parted friendly, and they will hopefully have clearance to fly to Cairo in a few days time.

[zircnoniumjin-blog]

Love Is Not Over

Genre: fluffy, romance. Characters: Namjoon x you (Nara) You’ll never know till Namjoon fell for Nara.

Bangtan has just finished their last concert tour. After concerts, Bangtan always had time for evaluation with all the staff. After the evaluation was finished, the staffs were ready to go home and so was Bangtan.

“Finally, our concert has ended.” Jimin dropped himself onto the sofa in the waiting room for artists.

The waiting room was big since Bangtan is the most popular artist of the year, they received a special treatment from the staff. The room has: seven dressings table surrounded by lamps, a table full of Bangtan’s favorite snacks and soft drinks, four comfortable sofas, a tv and a bathroom.

“Thank God this is our last day of concert.” Jungkook lied down on the floor and covered his face with a towel.

“I can’t feel my leg. I want a burger and coke.” Taehyung entered the room and kneeled down on his legs.

“Hyung, where are the hyung-line?’ Jungkook asked.

“Hobie hyung is meeting his parents on backstage.” Jimin replied.

“Yoongi hyung has a meeting with his manager.” Taehyung continued after Jimin.

“Haha, it’s weird when you say “his manager”, it’s weird too that I have my personal manager.” Jimin can handle himself from laughing.

“Right! I think since we have a personal manager, each of them can separate us into random variety shows.” Jungkook complained.

“Look, our maknae is complaining now.” Taehyung pointed his finger at Jungkook and laughed.

“It’s awkward to attend the variety shows without our members around me.”

“Don’t be a crybaby.” Taehyung reminded him.

“The luckiest member who got a personal manager is Jin hyung.” Jimin complained with envy.

“Right! Right! And another lucky guy in Bangtan for all these situations is Namjoon hyung!” Taehyung screamed.

“YA! Can you just shut your mouth? I’m trying to sleep!” Angry Yoongi uncovered his body with a sleeping bag.

The maknae line were surprised by Yoongi. Jungkook and Taehyung’s eyes were bulged and they stared at each other and so did Jimin.

“OK, I’m dead.” Taehyung pretended to be dead and closed his eyes.

“Yoongi hyung, you are so thin that I thought that the sleeping bag was empty. Have you eaten anything, do you want me to get something for you?” Jimin tried to be sweet to Yoongi.

“Just shut your mouth.” A short answer from Yoongi and he went back to sleep and covered his body with a sleeping bag.

“Hyung, I think I gotta go.” Jungkook tried to get out of trouble.

“Where are you going Jungkookie.” Jin suddenly came out of the bathroom.

“Now I’m dead.” Jimin followed Taehyung’s way by pretending to die.

“I love you hyung.” Jungkook gave him a bunny smile.

“Bring me 6 cups of ramyun then I will forgive all of you.” Jin commanded.

Jungkook ran out from the waiting room as fast as he could to get some ramyun for Jin.

Suddenly Namjoon entered the room.

“Did you guys see Nara?” Namjoon panicked.

“I thought she was with you.” Jin said.

“Ah by the way, I didn’t see her during the closing of our concert.” Jimin added.

During the concerts, Na Ra was always in the VIP lounge to watch them.

Kim Na Ra - Jin’s personal manager and the lead manager of the vocal line.

Nara - Seokjin’s younger sister.

Nara - Namjoon’s girlfriend.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Jin panicked.

“Her cellphone was off.” Taehyung was busy trying to reach Nara with his cellphone.

“Hyung, did you see Nara?” Suga woke up from his sleep and soon got his cellphone to call his personal manager on loudspeaker.

“Bangtan members please stay at the waiting room, we’re in trouble.” Manager hyung said.

“Shit.” Namjoon did a quick run to make sure Nara was fine and Jin trailed after Namjoon.

“Did I miss something?” Taehyung asked with a confused expression.

A day before the concert. Namjoon’s POV.

“Namjoonie, please pick up our Nara at school.” Jin asked me.

“Why?”

“Because you are her boyfriend.”

“No, I mean Nara usually rides her car to school.” I emphasized.

“I drove her this morning.” Jin couldn’t hide something from me, I could see a restless expression on his face.

“Is there something wrong?” I asked.

“I’m afraid sasaeng fans are threatening her.” These keywords from Jin just made me shocked.

“Nara didn’t tell me.” I said confused.

“Someone did something to her car, the brake was not working but luckily the car only rammed into a tree, and Nara was Ok. I checked the CCTV, it was a girl who did this.”

“Why did the girl do that to Nara?”

“The girl knew about your relationship with Nara, Nara keeps getting threat messages. I think it has been already a week.”

“Why don’t you tell me this earlier?”

“Nara told me to keep it a secret since we’re all busy preparing for our concert.” Jin tried to calm me down.

“You can’t be like this forever, Namjoon-ah. If you keep stay with her, her life will always be in danger.” Yoongi suddenly appeared and told me this non sense.

“Please be nice to your leader, Yoongi-ah. Namjoon is 23 and so is my sister. Let them be in love as they wish.” Jin tried to help me.

“But please don’t do anything reckless, Namjoon. You’ve lost your wallet. I thought you put your photo with her in it and 2 days after that photo spread like a cancer in every social media.” Yoongi emphasized.

“And after that, Nara never had a peacefully life; filled with haters on social media.” Hobie appeared and threw me a big slap with his words.

“Don’t let the maknae line know about this. It could turn worse.” I couldn’t say more than that. I felt it was all my fault.

“But Nara was fine until today, Army knew that Nara is my sister so they can’t hurt her.”

“Namjoon’s sasaeng fans also know about it and see…what happened to her now? Please think twice if you want to do something, Namjoon. I know you love her but love isn’t enough to protect her.” Suga tried to insult me.

“Yoongi hyung, don’t be too harsh on our leader. It’s not his fault. As long as Big Hit did not confirms the rumor, I believe Nara will be ok. We can learn from the past.” Even wise words from Hobie can’t calm me down now.

Then Taehyung came into our meeting room. “Excuse me hyung, we’re all ready to start the rehearsal, what are you guys doing here?” Taehyung asked curiously.

“Nothing Taehyung-ah, let’s do the rehearsal. Come Namjoon.” Jin stood up, handed me his car keys and a brown envelope.

I’m on my way to pick up my baby, Nara. Kim Na Ra.

I don’t know why I fell in love with her so fast. Her brown eyes, her long black hair, her pinky lips, her red converse shoes matching with her blue jeans and her white shirt. Her sweet smiles, smirks, and the way she called me “Ya! Namjoonie” when she got angry with me just make me fell for her more; even her perfectionist ego. This was so frustrating.

I have to call her.

“Where are you?” I asked her.

“School, why?” she replied.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes, wait for me at the parking lot.”

“Your schedule today is dedicated for rehearsal. Are you running away from rehearsal? I won’t forgive you if you.” She scolded me.

“Just wait for me at the parking lot.” I hang up the phone.

Nara entered the car and sat beside me. Her sweet smile was the best smile in the world but I couldn’t give her my smile. I was frustrated.

“Hey, what’s wrong with your face? Why are you frowning like an angry Ryan doll?”

“Not now, Nara.”

“You called me Nara? It means you are angry at me, what happen?”

“Not now, I’ll drive you home.”

“Why home? I should go to the studio for your rehearsal.”

“Not now, Nara.” I tried to avoid the argument.

“Ok, angry Namjoonie.” She still tried to make a joke.

“Oppa, your leader is mad at me. He’s not talking to me anymore. Please help me.” Nara called Jin and put the phone on loudspeaker so I could hear the conversation.

“It’s ok Nara-ya, our leader is just too tired because he keeps on practicing all night long.” Nice answer from Jin to keep our Nara calm.

“Ah oppa you’re not helping at all. I’ll see you then.” Nara hung up the phone but she tried to call her best friend, Taehyung.

“Taehyung-ie is there something wrong with your leader? Or are you doing something stupid today?” she asked with curiousity.

“Ya! Just ask him, I’m busy for rehearsal.” Taehyung hung up the phone.

“Aish! Should I call Jungkookie or Jimin?” she looked at me.

“You can make a call to whomever you want.” I answered.

“Ok I will call Bang PD Nim!”

“It will make you look like a foolish manager.”

“Then why you…ah Jungkookie is calling me.”

“Nara noona, please let me eat lamb skewed with Yoongi hyung.”

“You should keep your throat healthy, our golden maknae Jungkookie.”

“Lamb skewed is not bad for my throat, noona.” Jungkookie would fight for his lamb skewed.

“Not now, Kookie.”

“Ah, ok noona, see you soon.” Everyone knows when those words came out of our Nara, don’t try to start or you will lose.

After Kookie called her, now Jimin did too. Nara always put the phone on loudspeaker so I know what the members said.

“Nara-ya, I got approved by my personal manager to have a free time today from 10 pm to 11 pm, will you be ok with that?” Jimin begged for a free time during our busy schedule.

“Let me check my agenda, Jiminie”

“No problem baby.” Jimin teased her.

“YA! DON’T CALL HER BABY, YOU JIMINIE PABO!” I screamed at him.

“Ah, hyung are you with her? What a beautiful life, having time together while having a busy schedule… I love you, our leader.” Jimin teased me again.

“You can’t have a free time.” I replied.

“Jiminie, your leader is losing his temper. Just obey his order.” Nara teased me with her smirk.

“This is important for me Nara-ya, please let me have my one hour of free time.” Jimin still begged her.

“What are you gonna do with your free time, Jiminie?”

“Meet an old friend near the studio. Just one hour. Please, this is important to me.”

“Ok you can but in one condition, you should have your manager accompany.” My wise Nara said; I love you even more.

“Yea, I love you, see you soon.”

“Wear your mask, black glasses, and your hoodie.” I ordered her.

“You too.” She frowned.

Five minutes until we arrive at the apartment, there was silence among us but suddenly Nara yelled at me.

“Ya! Kim Namjoon.” Impolite words from Nara but I still love her.

“What now?”

“We are on the wrong way.”

“You know I’m bad with direction.” I tried to be cool but she yelled to me again.

“Ya! You should go left, not to the right. Go left then left again then right.” She tried to restrain her laughter.

“Oh.” I kept my cool.

We got out of the car and got into Nara’s apartment. When we entered the apartment, both of us took off our glasses, mask, and hoodie.

“You owe me an explanation, Namjoonie.” She walked towards the sofa.

“I should be the one asking that, here” I gave her the brown envelope. She opened it and looked shocked. I sat on the sofa and she sat beside me.

“How did you get these?” She ripped off our paparazzi photos.

“They got us, should I announce that we’ve been together since six months ago?” I tried to figure a way out.

“Do you realize this will have an impact on your career by increasing the haters, decreasing the amount of fancafe, lowering the number of buyers of your dvd’s, and increasing the number of my haters. I will get killed soon. It’s not only about me or you but the entire Bangtan and our management.” She definitely is serious-talking and mad at me because of my irrational-illogically-stupid mind.

“Should I quick?” I still can’t cleared my mind.

“This is why I keep it hidden from you.”

“Keep it hidden until I’m the last to know. I’m nothing for you.”

“I’m a part of Bangtan’s managers. I still have six managers to figure the way out. Don’t be too childish, Namjoonie.”

“Should I tell it to Bang PD nim?” My stupid question just came out.

“I don’t want your fans to get reminded again by Big hit’s tweet about stopping being rude to Bangtan. They’re not rude at all, they just love you too much.” Her smart logic words made me crazy over her.

“I’m losing my mind because of you.” I gave up, I can’t handle myself anymore.

“Now I believe that love is blind.” Finally, she gave me her smile. The only thing that I need.

I laid my head on her lap. The most comfortable place ever. She gently stroked my hair.

“It’s ok baby, we can face it. You only need to focus on the concert, be healthy and prepare the best speech for the fans, this is what the managers do for their artist, keep the artist comfortable wherever and whenever.” She described it like I’m her crybaby.

She pecked my lips.

“I hate to have a debt on someone.” I teased her.

“What do you mean?” She asked confusingly.

“I’ll pay you back.” I kissed her lips.

“We have 20 minutes, baby.” She said.

“No problem, I’ll make it 10.”

Jin and I chose to run in our separate ways, so we could find her immediately.

I ran so fast to find her. Tried to call someone but no one picked up the phone. Finally after 4 times trying to call him, he picked up.

“Manager hyung, where are you?”

“Stay in the waiting room, I’ll explain to you later.” My manager seemed really to be in a hurry, he hung up the phone.

“Shit.”

I ran onto backstage then I saw a throng, I got a bad feeling for it. I saw my managers were there. I even saw my stylist noona there.

I’m afraid my Nara was there.

I tried to break through the throng.

“Please stay away, we already called the security, just wait for a minute.” A staff told me.

I walked closer, I can see one of our manager’s hand was bleeding.

Then I saw my Nara threaded by a girl with a knife. She saw me and gave me a sign, “Get away from here” by moving her eyes and shaking her head. My stupid brave Nara.

The girl was using the staff’s stuff like clothes and a walkie talkie in her pants pocket. Even she has a nametag “BTS’s staff.” This girl really went too far.

“Let her go, please. Nara noona is our manager, you just mis-understood. Please let her go, I’ll let you meet all the members and have a conversation with them, you’re an army, aren’t you?” Jongkook really begged her and tried to walk closer to the girl.

Jungkook realized that I was there. He gave me a sign. He nodded his head and I just understood what it meant.

I gave a sign to my manager to call the police and gave a sign to another manager to record it as evidence.

“You really love Rap monster, don’t you? Let’s meet him but please put your hands off our Nara” Hobie walked closer to the girl. I knew Hobie was freaking out but for our Nara, we will do everything.

“I’m here, Let her go.” I said. I walked closer to her. She looked at me but still put the knives close to my Nara.

“Put your knives away from our Nara, she did nothing to you.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” She tried to confirm it with me directly.

“I will answer your question if you put your knives away from our Nara.”

She slowly moved her knives away from Nara. I gave my sign to Kookie. I believe in Kookie’s Taekwondo abilities.

Kookie ran into her and made the knives fell from her hand by his taekwondo moves. Hobie took the knives. Kookie try to calm down the girl by grabbing her hand. “It’s ok, I won’t hurt you.” Kookie said.

Moreover, I tried to snatch my Nara by pulling her hand.

Nara really freaked out she hugged me and cried on my shoulder.

“It’s ok Nara. I’m here. I’m here.” I stroked her hair, I have to calm her down.

“Nara! Are you ok?” Jin ran into me, I released my hug from her.

“Thank God that you are ok.” Jin hugged her.

Taehyung and Jimin were coming in with the police and ran to Nara.

Taehyung and Jimin lead Nara to stay away from this throng.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the girl who tried to kill my Nara, I felt like I want to…..Yoongi suddenly came and tried to calm me down by putting his hand on my chest and said “Let me handle this.”

The girl was crying and kept yelling bad words to Nara. Jungkookie tried his best to calm her down and then Yoongi went to her. Holding her hands and talked to her. I’m happy that our members still have cleared minds to face a sasaeng fan.

“Please, protect my sister more than your life.” Jin stood beside me and put his hand on my shoulder.

“I will, hyung. I’m sorry.”

The police left the concert arena with the girl.

I know..

Love is so painful…

But one thing that I believe, my love for her won’t be over…

I may fall down and get hurt but I still run endlessly towards my dreams with Bangtan and her.