#like obviously connor only child / eldest son

[pynkhues]

how do you think the roy kids were in college? shiv’s dancing in 3x07, connor not seeing logan for multiple years, kendall the “king” of the lampoon, and roman being sent to military school all give such bizarre setups for their college years

I mean, y’know. Messy, on all fronts, hahaha.

Interestingly, Kendall’s the only one we actually know for a fact went to college at all (and did postgrad at that), but I do suspect all four of them went with varying degrees of success and levels of study. In a lot of ways, I feel like it probably contributed to the divide between them that’s being emphasised this season – the one that positions Kendall and Shiv as the unabused overachievers, and Roman and Connor as the abused and neglected underachievers – it’s a bullshit perception obviously, and one that only really seems to be felt fully by Kendall and Shiv.

After all, Roman and Connor aren’t underachievers, at least no more than the rest of them, and Kendall and Shiv aren’t unabused, but I do think this divide has contributed to the ways that they likely navigated the college experience.

Kendall & Shiv

With the way Kendall and Shiv seem to view each other as intellectual equals (I always find it kind of fascinating that their attacks of each other usually boil down to Kendall’s addiction and mental health and Shiv’s gender and inexperience in business as opposed to attacks on intelligence, which they both level at Roman and Connor), I do feel they probably have similar degrees of education, which makes me think that Shiv did postgrad too. I think she would’ve deliberately not gone to Harvard, since Kendall went there, but I do think she would’ve gone to an on-par Ivy League school, and I do think it’s pretty likely that she did political science given her career trajectory at the start of the show and her academic political knowledge in 3.06.

In a lot of ways, I do think Kendall and Shiv are mirrors of each other, so I do think they probably engaged similarly at school. I think they both probably partied harder than they should’ve, that they coasted on their assumed intelligence as the ‘smart’ siblings until they fucked something up and the shame of that likely had them either working hard or cheating, and I think they both did a lot of extra curriculars to pad their resume. I don’t think either of them would know what to do in a team sport, but we know Kendall worked in distribution for the Lampoon (one of my favourite jokes on this show will always be him equating working operationally for it as meaning he was default funny), and I imagine Shiv would’ve scoffed at that and differentiated herself by working like - - editorial at Yale Daily News or something. Something she thought their dad would respect (which I actually do think he would’ve liked, but I don’t think he would’ve respected, because at the end of the day, he’s never respected any of his children, but especially not Shiv).

I think they both probably had messy college hook ups and experimented more than they’d ever actually admit, and I think they’d both absolutely feel they were the little prince and little princess of their respective campuses. Something to front annoyance at, but secretly relish in the security and familiarity of, and - - yeah. I think college probably felt safe for both of them. Far enough away from their father to feel like they had freedom, while still close enough to feel protected (and leashed), and I think they both probably did well enough to enjoy coming home for their gold stars and their pats on the head, just as I think they both probably spun out when they realised Logan was never going to be the father who gave gold stars or pats on the head (if they just do better though, y’know, maybe - - )

Connor

I’ve looong had the headcanon that Connor went but never graduated.

I kinda feel like he would’ve bounced around a bit? If he was 15 when Kendall was born, and if Logan had snatched him back up at that point (which I do kinda suspect he would have), he was likely in college when Roman and Shiv were born. I can see him potentially trying to stay closer to the family as a result of that, especially if he had already bonded with Kendall who would’ve been, what? Three? When he went to college? So he might’ve started off at a university in England, or been content to be away in the States during the semesters (especially if his mother was still alive), but spent holidays home with the Roy side of the family.

In that sense, I could see him at somewhere like UCLA? Connor would’ve been in college in the early 1980s, and I think he would’ve been into the college lifestyle of chill parties and a bit of activism here and there, depending on who he liked, and following bands around, but I also think he was a traumatised young man who was torn between feeling like an usurped heir to an empire and a boy forcibly separated from both parents desperately trying to establish himself in an expanding family back home. The fact of that alone I think means his perspective was off, and without the family unit the golden trio find in each other and him, he would’ve been an 18, 19, 20-year-old man trying to figure himself out with siblings so young strangers likely mistook them for his children.

I don’t know how likely it actually would be, but I will say that I kind of like the idea that Connor’s the only one of the four of them who’s kind of good at team sport? He canonically horse rides, so maybe he does polo, haha, but I also kind of like this idea that maybe for a hot minute he was good at football? I like the idea that maybe he briefly was good enough at something Logan valued to form a bond over, and that it maybe fell apart as he was never quite good enough, because god, isn’t that just Connor’s life story?

Roman

In terms of college, I actually find Roman the hardest to pin down? I do think he graduated, just because I don’t think he could’ve handled that level of disappointment from his dad if he hadn’t, but I don’t think he did postgrad. I think he probably went to an Ivy still though? Insider and Wall Street Journal tell me that Brown and Dartmouth are usually ranked lowest of the Ivy’s, so I kinda think he probably went to one of those.

I actually think he probably worked harder than Kendall and Shiv did, at least in his first year there, and maybe even performed better in some classes, but that it wasn’t treated as such because the school ‘wasn’t as good’ and because he was already relegated to the fuck up son slot with Connor, so he just thought fuck it and coasted enough to graduate. I think he probably experimented with the idea of experimenting – that he flirted with people across spectrums and got close to having sex with a few of them (maybe even did with one or two), but that the experiences were uncomfortable enough for him that he never really lost himself to them like Kendall and Shiv did.

I think he made fast friendships that didn’t last, and that was probably because he was torn between his dad and school and I imagine he at this point was also starting to really face the realities of having a brother who was an addict (everything about 1.07 makes me think Roman’s experienced a Kendall overdose before, and timeline-wise, I imagine that would’ve been likely around his college days), his dad and Kendall being two factors he’s canonically protective of when it comes to outsiders, so likely impacted his ability to form friendships and relationships with others.

Yeah, he probably had a token girlfriend or two to save face, but I think in many ways, college probably felt like being sent away again for him as a result of military school (or, well, not military school, given St. Andrews had stopped being one and was instead just an outdoorsy boarding school by the time Roman would’ve gone, and the show’s attention to detail feels too specific for that to not be relevant) in a way that it didn’t for Kendall and Shiv. I don’t think he felt like the prince of his campus, I think he probably tried to get through and do well long enough to get home and give his father something that would make him happy. When he experienced the same dismissal Kendall and Shiv did though, I don’t think he spun out, I just think he probably expected it.

I don’t know though! What do you guys think?

[justinefrischmanngf]

this has been said but i think there's something so sharply painful about the way that 4x03 lets the "kids" lay everything bare. it lets the kids be kids. grief and fear of impending grief turns you into a child again and i think that all four of them are so so much this. obviously i spend most of my days thinking about kendall, but his "i love you. i can't forgive you. but it's okay and i love you" is so achingly telling of every time he has probably said i love you in the past, it's so Eldest Child Tries To Make Everything Alright ("it's okay and i love you") but also this is his one and only chance to actually say what he has been wanting to say for years ("i can't forgive you"). it's what he's been trying to do for the past three seasons, he's been trying to pull away from logan, to allow himself not to forgive logan and still love him. and now he knows. it's come to the finish line and he can verbalise it. but he's still making things okay because he's the eldest and that's his job. and connor "i never got the chance to make him proud of me" is how connor being an eldest sibling shows up, because he had to fight to prove that his dad was his dad at all, he needed that extra step to prove himself that he was just as worthy a son as kendall and roman, because he is the eldest and should've been the pride and joy and wanted to be the pride and joy. shiv obviously calls logan "daddy" and her voice goes so so soft and breaks so so much and i think it's so interesting that in this season we've seen her really truly hurt and vulnerable twice and isn't this her position in the family always? because you just know that she built herself up to never show hurt or fear or pain because she's the girl and so now, in this scene, we see her before that, we see her needing a parent. and roman i mean his absolute refusal to believe it, his absolute denial of everything, "you're a very good dad", he's a kid who is trying to ignore the fact that his father is a fucking horrible man by focusing on his siblings, focusing on the fact that he must be a very good dad because what else could he be? he's a "monster" but he's roman's dad and he's successful so what else could he be but a very good dad? and it's such an obvious point, but i do think it is just so stark, the way that we see all of them in the most vulnerable way possible and of course, this is always them, they are always operating from these positions and we know it, but with logan's death they are allowed to be so visible about it and it's just like yeah. at the end of the day, a parent has died and they are the children who love him, left to grieve.

[avaalons]

Chris Evans Fic: Might Actually Be Perfect

I’m on a fluff roll! I need to get back in to angsty head space to finish one of my WIPs but for now, here’s another instalment of the Chris Evans and Model!You, based on a request from @msgem. Hope you enjoy!

***

It was bedtime in the Evans household and that meant story time. With four kids aged seven and under, finding a story that suited the full range of sons and daughters was a struggle, as was the timing.

Story time needed to be early enough for two (almost three, Chris reminded himself) year old Connor and this caused some not-very-well-hidden disdain on the part of seven year old Mason, who was the oldest and beginning to think that meant he was entitled to certain privileges beyond having a bed time half an hour later than his two younger sisters: Grace, five and Freya, three.

‘Dad, I’m too old for story time now. I’m seven! And it’s way too early for me anyway, my bed time is way later now!’ Mason’s dramatic stance was almost laughable as he stood in the doorway of your bedroom, feet apart, arms crossed defiantly across his chest. He was so like you it wasn’t even funny.

You had Connor curled up on your lap, your legs covered by the bed sheets. Your two baby girls were snuggled in next to you, awaiting their story. Chris was in the playroom and nursery next door, selecting this evening’s book but clearly also listening to Mason’s argument about story time.

You were about to intervene when you heard Chris’ calm voice drift into the hall.

’D'ya know what buddy? You’re totally right. You are way too old for story time now so you better just go ahead to your room, tuck yourself in and we’ll see you tomorrow. I think that’s what all grown up seven year olds do, isn’t that right, Mom?’

He addressed the last question to you as he appeared next to Mason in the doorway, two books in hand. You played along, realising Chris’ attempt at reverse psychology.

‘Your dad’s right Mase, you’re just too grown up for us now. So goodnight sweetheart, see you in the morning.’

Chris placed a hand gently on his shoulder, ‘I know your bedtime isn’t for another hour yet but if you can’t come to story time anymore, you better just go sit in your room until it’s half past seven.’

Mason was clearly at a loss, not expecting this sudden turn of events, as he glanced between the two of you before sloping off in the direction of his room. You and Chris shared a knowing smile as Chris approached the bed.

‘Right then, for those of us that aren’t too old for story time, our choices tonight are The Gruffalo or Room on the Broom!’

Gracie immediately shouted, ‘Room on the Broom!’

‘The Gruffalo, The Gruffalo!’ Freya insisted.

‘Oh dear, it seems we have a stale mate. Does our youngest audience member have a preference?’ Chris directed his gaze over to you and the toddler curled up against your chest.

‘I think Connor’s too tired out to mind hugely,’ you offered.

‘I’ve got an idea, Daddy,’ Grace spoke out, voice slightly muffled by the sheets tucked around her mouth.

‘Go on then baby girl, hit me with it,’ Chris stood with his arms outstretched, waiting for her reply. He was always so animated and such a showman with the kids, and they loved him for it.

‘Tell us the story of how you and Mommy met!’

Upon hearing this, Freya made her agreement known, chanting away until Grace joined in with her.

'Oh, you’ve heard this story hundreds of times!’

'But it’s our favourite. Please Dad, please?

Chris looked at you with his eyebrows raised in question, 'You happy to hear this story one more time?’

'Of course,’ you smiled back. The version Chris told was a little embellished here and there to up the entertainment factor for the kids but you still liked listening to it, to the way he told it.

'Oh, it’s a shame Mason isn’t here,’ Chris spoke deliberately loudly so that his voice would carry across the hall, 'Because I know he loves the story of how Mom and Dad met.’

Knowing the seed had been planted, he got into the bed you shared at the opposite side, sandwiching the girls between you.

'Okay kids, this is the story of how your mother and I met for the very first time,’ Chris began. Grace tucked herself into his side, one hundred percent the daddy’s girl and the complete mirror image of him. If Mason was all you, Grace was entirely Chris. 'And it’s a story with a very happy ending because obviously it led to all of you-’

Just then a shadow appeared at the door as a small creak of a floorboard was heard in the hall. Mason. You seized the opportunity as you held your younger son to you.

'Mason, honey, you don’t need to stand out there. Come in and join us. You can help tell the story. You’ve obviously heard it the most, being the oldest.’

A small head appeared from around the doorway, 'Only because it’s this story though. I’m too old for Room on the Broom.’

You bit back a chuckle and one look at Chris’ tense jaw told you he was having to do the same. He shifted towards you on the bed, creating a space at the side of him on the mattress.

'Here you go dude, there’s room for you here,’ Chris told him, patting the space. Mason sloped over, contrite, and hopped under the covers, not pushing Chris’ arm away when he tucked it around him.

'So, where was I?’

Grace was the first to remind him, 'It has a happy ending!’

'Ah yes, we know the ending, because this is the ending, all of us right here.’

'It didn’t start as well though, did it Dad?’ Mason spoke out from Chris’ right hand side, desperate to be involved after almost losing out on story time altogether.

'Nope, it certainly did not. And why was that Mason?’

'Because mom hated dad when they first met!’ Your eldest began giggling uncontrollably, which set off Gracie and Freya as well.

Chris looked over at you, grinning, clearly remembering those early days over a decade ago now. Back then, you hadn’t even been sure if it was possible to love this deeply at all, having never had experience of it. But that all changed as Chris slowly but surely began to win you over.

'She did, unfortunately,’ Chris continued in a stage whisper, 'Mainly because she’d already decided what I must be like without even getting to know me first.’

'Hey!’ You protested, using your free hand to stroke Freya’s wavy hair back from her face as she lay sleepily against the pillow, 'In my defence, you were a super annoying boy.’

'All boys are annoying, aren’t they mom?’ Gracie said from Chris’ side.

'That’s my girl,’ Chris agreed, proudly, 'Boys are annoying and you can just keep thinking that until you’re at least thirty. But I was actually thirty five at the time, so, technically, not a boy.’

'Sorry, let me be more specific. A thirty five year old man child,’ you quipped back.

'Okay, okay, let’s just say that I had some trouble growing up, unlike Mason here,’ Chris poked his son gently in the ribs, making him giggle at the tickle.

'So what did you do to annoy Mom, Dad?’ Mason was impatient to get back on track.

So Chris told, again, the story of how you met at a big work party in LA, and he thought instantly that you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He saw you from across the room and it was like time stopped, he no longer saw anyone else, just you (you rolled your eyes with a smile at that, remembering how drunk he had been that night). Chris continued to describe how nervous he had been to approach you and how he’d hovered around as you chatted and laughed with other people and waited for a chance to introduce himself. He had taken note of what you were drinking so he could order you the same (an orange soda in this kids version, obviously, a Tequila Sunrise in the real version) and when he finally managed to cut in, he tripped over someone’s foot in the crowd and split the orange soda (Tequila Sunrise) all down your blush pink red carpet dress.

The kids all gasped at this, even though they knew it by heart.

'Oh Dad, how embarrassing,’ Mason piped up, sounding much older than this seven years.

'I know dude, I wasn’t always as dashing and charming as I am now. Luckily, you don’t seem to have inherited my meatball characteristics.’

'Nah, I’m pretty cool,’ Mason grinned cheekily.

'Yeah, yeah, careful that head doesn’t get too big to get out the door,’ Chris warned him in his good natured way.

'Next Daddy, next!’ Freya demanded.

'Okay sweetheart, what happened next? Let me think… so there was your mom with orange soda all down her dress and there was me wanting the ground to just open up and swallow me whole and she just looked at me, in shock at first, and I was paralysed with embarrassment. And eventually, she just snapped, 'Nice to meet you too!’ And then she disappeared into the crowd towards the bathrooms and I never saw her again,’ he finished with a grin, knowing what would come next.

'Daaaaaaddddd, that’s such a lie! How could we all be here now if you never saw her again?’ Grace giggled.

'Oh, of course, I was forgetting the most important part…’

And he continued to say how, months later, you had met by chance at a Patriots game (Chris and all the kids cheered) and Chris had been surprised to see you, both in the stadium and in Boston in general. But he knew it was a sign. And even though you were there with another guy (the kids all joined in a chorus of 'Booooooooo!’ at this, turning the story into a real pantomime), he just knew that this was his chance to make you see that he was actually fairly decent. It turned out that the other guy was just your friend’s older brother and that you weren’t seeing anyone.

'So I swept her off her feet!’ Chris finished triumphantly and you scoffed loudly.

'Hardly!’

'Well no, but I did get her and her friends some better seats near me and Uncle Scott and bought her a hot dog and fries at halftime.’

'And did you forgive him, Mom?’ Mason asked, peering over Chris’ chest.

'I did, just about. The Pats lost that day and he was so sad, I took pity on him, so when he asked how long I was in Boston for and would I like to go to dinner the next night, I couldn’t say no.’

'That’s right kids, you’re all sat here right now because your mom agreed to go on a pity date with me.’

'What’s a pity?’ Freya asked quietly.

'It’s when you feel so bad for someone, you do something nice for them even though you really don’t want to,’ Chris explained, patiently.

Freya’s eyes went wide, 'Mom, you didn’t want to be boyfriends and girlfriends with dad??’

'It wasn’t too much longer after that I did sweetheart, don’t worry. The night after, your dad came and picked me up, brought me some flowers, and took me to a really, really fancy restaurant. He was wearing a gorgeous suit that made him look really handsome and he’d booked a whole room just for us.’

'I was trying to impress her,’ Chris continued, 'But when we got the menus, neither of us seemed to be able to decide on what we wanted and when I was looking at your mom, she actually scrunched her nose up at something, like it was really horrible, and I knew then I’d made a mistake.’

***

Chris had looked at you across the table and decided to go with a joke, 'Man, I can’t seem to find the burger section anywhere.’

You remembered feeling so relieved. Everything on the menu sounded ridiculous, some of it downright disgusting, and the prices! As unsure as you were about Chris, you were fairly certain he was going to foot the bill of this little outing and you didn’t want him spending all that for you to push your food around your plate and get hammered on expensive wine because you had nothing in your stomach.

You had laughed nervously, not wanting to put a dampener on something he’d obviously gone to some effort to pull off, but he’d leant forward and whispered to you across the table, 'Come on, let’s go. I know a place.’

You had grabbed your clutch bag while he threw some bills on the table to cover the wine and the inconvenience and placed your hand in his when he offered it to you. Exhilarated, you dashed through the restaurant as the maitre d’ was showing a couple to a table and ran to the end of the block, pausing around the corner to catch your breath and laugh.

He’d laughed even more when he looked at you and saw that you’d plucked the bottle of wine from the ice bucket on the way out.

'What?! It was expensive! I wasn’t going to just leave it sitting there!’

'I think… I think you might actually be perfect.’

***

'So then we took our expensive lemonade and went to the best burger place in the city.'

'And your dad knew the owner of the restaurant and the building so he let us sit up on his roof and we did, on a blanket in our best clothes, eating our burgers and drinking lemonade out of two paper cups.’

'We could see all the lights of Boston and it was beautiful but still not as breathtaking as your mom.’

You looked at each other in affectionate silence for a moment, now with years of love between you but remembering that night when he’d kissed you gently, reverently on a blanket on a roof under the night sky of Boston, before glancing down and seeing that every single one of your four children were fast asleep.

Chris indicated towards them with his head and you nodded in silent agreement, no words needed for your communication. Chris scooped Mason up to take him to his room while you carefully shimmied off the mattress with Connor, carrying him to the nursery and laying him down gently. You checked the monitor was on and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, running a feather light finger down his warm cheek. Your baby boy was going to be three soon and barely even a baby anymore.

Back in the bedroom, Chris was gingerly picking up Grace and you reached for Freya. You tiptoed in silent convoy to the room they shared and lay them in their respective beds, switching on their glowing night light and taking turns to kiss them goodnight and tuck them in. Chris headed to the nursery to wish his youngest sweet dreams and you went to Mason’s room.

Leaning over, you brushed his mop of hair back from his forehead and kissed him on the exposed skin. He stirred slightly and his eyes flickered.

'Shh baby, it’s only me saying goodnight. Go back to sleep.’

He reached his arms up to wrap around your neck and spoke in a muffled, sleep-ridden voice.

'I’m really glad you gave dad a chance.’

You chuckled quietly, 'Me too, sweetheart. He’s a pretty good dad, isn’t he?’

'Yeah, and you’re the best mom. Love you.’

With that, his arms dropped to the bed and he fell into slumber.

'Love you too, my baby boy,’ you whispered, feeling your eyes well with… you weren’t sure what exactly. A combination of love, nostalgia, sadness that time was passing so quickly but also hope for a wonderful future.

With one last press of your lips to his forehead, you arose and softly stepped out of the room, leaving the door ajar the way he liked. Chris was leaning against the bannister of the stairs, greeting you with his lop sided smile but it quickly fell when he saw your watery eyes.

'Hey baby, what’s wrong?’ Concern dropped from his voice and he stepped towards you to gather you into his arms.

'Oh, I don’t know,’ you huffed against his chest, 'they’re just growing up so fast but they’re so great.’

You felt his chest rumble with a soft chuckle, 'I know sweetheart, we really did okay, didn’t we?’

'More than okay. I’m just being silly. Something about story time got me all emotional.’

You pulled back to swipe at your eyes but Chris was there already, brushing away the few tears that had escaped with gentle thumbs as you continued:

'Do you think it will always be like this? I just… sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.’

'Well, we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs but we’ve managed so far. Don’t forget we’ve got to get four kids through their teenage years yet and if Mason now is anything to go by, we’re in for a hell of a ride.’

You barked out laugh through your subsiding sniffles, 'God help us.’

'There doesn’t always have to be a shoe, you know. Or a catch. We just… are who we are,’ Chris shrugged with a smile.

You smiled back, giving his face a good once over with your gaze, savouring the moment. Feeling that familiar gathering of heat low in your belly, you placed your hands on his shoulders, still strong and hard under your touch even though he was well into his forties now, and leant forwards to speak lowly in his ear.

'And could who we are right now be a husband carrying his wife to their bed to make slow, delicious love all night?’ You pulled back so he could see your face and then shrugged nonchalantly, 'Or at least for an hour, because you know, kids and sleep.’

You were so close you could see his pupils dilate as he spoke in rough voice, 'I think that can probably be arranged.’

And with that, he threw you over his shoulder, swatted you lightly on the ass as you tried to swallow down your surprised giggle, and carried you to your bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him with his foot.