#like obvious death flags aside

[cerasus--flores]

"omg senadina is a second elysia!" girl that's a bad thing

[shaiyasstuff]

side effects may include: marriage, blushing, and one shirtless husband. | zayne

synopsis : You never planned on getting married straight out of college—especially not to a broody, absurdly attractive cardiac surgeon with the emotional range of a paperweight. But one wine-infused chocolate, a half-unbuttoned shirt, and an accidental kiss later, you’re rethinking everything.

content : arranged marriage!au, pure fluff, comedy, writer on crack

The letter in your hand crumples with the weight of betrayal as you wave it in front of your mother’s face like a white flag soaked in passive-aggression. “What is this?”

She barely glances up from her tea. “Your marriage agreement,” she says, taking a sip as if she hadn’t just casually handed your freedom over like a lunchbox.

“Why didn’t I know about this?!” you exclaim, arms flailing like you’re directing traffic in a thunderstorm.

“Because you wouldn’t have agreed,” she replies smoothly, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

Which, apparently, to her, it is.

“Mom, I literally just graduated,” you groan, dragging your hands down your face.

She raises a perfectly plucked brow. “I married your father before I even finished.”

You let out another groan, louder this time, before collapsing face-first onto the designer couch like a Victorian heroine with a Wi-Fi addiction.

It probably doesn’t help that your family owns one of the biggest tech companies in the country.

Wealthy, yes.

Emotionally prepared for an arranged marriage? Absolutely not.

“I don’t even know the guy!” you practically shout, sounding one emotional notch away from launching yourself into a soap opera.

“I do,” your mother says, flipping open her book like this conversation is just background noise. “He’s a very charming young man.”

You grab the nearest pillow and dramatically smother yourself with it. “I’m not doing it,” you declare, voice muffled and full of angst.

“It’s already been decided.”

You fling the pillow aside like it personally betrayed you. “No!”

Somewhere in the distance, a rich person’s violinist probably sighed in sympathy.

“You can’t make me do this!” you cry, pointing an accusatory finger at her like you’re about to cast a spell of teenage rebellion.

“You will move into the new house in a week. Pack your things,” she replies, turning the page of her book without even looking at you, as if she’s ordering takeout instead of destroying your life.

You gape at her. “I’m not going to prison, Mom. I’m just trying to live my mediocre post-grad life in peace!”

She sips her tea. “And now you’ll do it as a married woman. Congratulations.”

You consider packing alright—packing your bags and running to a country where arranged marriages are considered ancient history.

Except, here you were—one week, three tantrums, and a very dramatic attempt to fake your own death later—standing in front of your husband.

Tall. Towering. Probably sculpted by ancient gods who had nothing better to do.

In your new marital home.

You blink up at him, still hoping this was an elaborate prank and Ashton Kutcher was going to leap out from behind a curtain with a camera crew.

No such luck.

Your new husband just stood there, looking like he stepped out of a magazine and into your worst-case scenario.

“I’m Zayne,” he says calmly, like you’re meeting at a networking event and not at the start of your forced domestic partnership.

You stare. Tall, brooding, buttoned-up like he’s allergic to joy.

Of course his name is Zayne—the kind of name that comes with a tragic backstory and an impressive skincare routine.

A shudder runs through you.

You’re married to that?

Somewhere in the background, the universe probably gave you a thumbs-up and whispered, “Good luck, sweetheart.”

You gulp, trying to summon the dignity your pajama-clad soul clearly lacks. “I’m Y/N.”

He nods. Nods. No handshake, no smile, no “Nice to meet you, fellow victim of our parents’ power trip.”

And then—he just turns and walks away.

Walks. Away.

You’re left standing there, blinking like a Wi-Fi signal trying to reconnect.

Married. To a man who treats introductions like optional software updates.

—•

“This is what Mom called charming?” you grumble, side-eyeing the empty hallway like it personally offended you.

You replay the interaction in your head—“I’m Zayne”—and resist the urge to punch a pillow just to feel something.

Naturally, you do what any responsible adult in a forced marriage would do.

You begin a full-scale reconnaissance mission.

Operation? Figure Out Who the Heck I Married.

You start with the basics—tracking his schedule, observing his comings and goings like an underpaid spy in a bad rom-com.

The man has the consistency of a German train schedule, the emotional availability of a stone wall, and the mystery level of a locked diary in a teenager’s room.

You have no idea what he does for work. He leaves in crisp suits and comes home even more pressed. He talks to no one. He reads thick books with no covers. You’ve yet to catch him watching a single cat video.

So, naturally, you conclude he must be a rich heir. Or a prince. Or some exiled monarch trying to lay low until his kingdom is restored.

It helps that he’s unfairly attractive—black hair that falls just right, piercing eyes that could probably see through walls, and a jawline that could cut glass.

Yep. Definitely a prince.

A very emotionally constipated, tragically handsome prince.

“I know you’re there,” he says, voice smooth and unbothered—of course he does, because apparently your espionage skills rank somewhere between amateur squirrel and nosy neighbor.

He doesn’t even look up from his book at first. Just turns a page calmly, as if catching his new wife spying on him is an everyday occurrence.

Then, slowly, he tilts his head and meets your eyes.

Oh no.

That look is lethal—cool, unreadable, and annoyingly attractive. He sets the book down with a soft thud and takes off his glasses like he’s about to lecture you, interrogate you, or casually ruin your life with a single sentence.

“Come in,” he says, and somehow it sounds less like an invitation and more like a challenge.

You briefly consider fleeing the country.

But your legs move anyway.

You let out an awkward laugh, the kind that sounds more like a hiccup caught mid-lie. “I was just… trying to see what you do.”

Zayne arches a brow, amused. “And lurking behind walls was the most effective method?”

You shrug, stepping inside, the door clicking softly shut behind you. “I considered asking. But you don’t exactly give off ‘share your feelings over coffee’ vibes.”

He leans back slightly in his chair, arms folding as he studies you—like you’re a puzzle he didn’t ask for but now can’t resist solving. “And what have you learned from your mission?”

“That you read a lot of intimidating books and might secretly be a prince,” you mutter, eyeing the hardcover he’d set down. “Or an assassin with excellent taste in eyewear.”

That earns you the ghost of a smile. Barely there—but it softens something in his expression.

“You’re not entirely wrong,” he says, and somehow, that doesn’t help.

You step closer, cautiously. “So… what do you do?”

Zayne tilts his head slightly. “Why? Interested now?”

“Trying to decide if I should be impressed… or mildly concerned for my safety.”

He chuckles under his breath—quiet and low, like he’s not used to laughing, but might want to try. “Maybe both.”

And for a moment, just a flicker, the air between you shifts. Less awkward, more curious. Like two strangers on the edge of something not quite comfortable, but not cold either.

“Well,” you say, fiddling with a stray thread on your sleeve, “I figured if I’m going to be married to a mystery man, I should at least get to know the mystery.”

Zayne watches you for a beat longer, then gestures to the seat across from him.

“Then stay,” he says. “Ask your questions properly this time.”

And you do.

You sit down across from him, suddenly hyper-aware of how your knees almost brush beneath the table.

His gaze is steady—too steady—and you gulp like you’ve just asked for his hand in courtship instead of mild information.

“So… what do you do?” you ask, trying to sound casual. It comes out more like a nervous frog asking a favor.

Zayne doesn’t answer right away. He leans back slightly, arms still folded, one brow lifting like he’s debating how much to reveal—or maybe just how much fun he’ll have watching you squirm.

“I’m a cardiac surgeon,” he finally says, voice low and even.

You blink.

“I—what?”

“I operate on hearts,” he says, like he’s talking about changing a lightbulb.

You stare at him. This whole time you thought he was brooding over world domination or writing dark poetry about rain. Heart surgeon was not on your bingo card.

“Wait, seriously? Like… actual hearts? With… scalpels?”

He tilts his head, clearly amused. “Is there another kind?”

Your jaw drops slightly. “Wow. I was prepared for ‘billionaire with a tragic past,’ not Grey’s Anatomy.”

“I assure you, there’s still a tragic past,” he deadpans, and for a second you’re not sure if he’s joking.

He doesn’t elaborate—but something in his eyes flickers. Quiet. Guarded.

You lean back, blinking slowly. “Okay… that’s kind of hot.”

That gets him. His lips twitch, just a little. “Are you flirting with your husband?”

You pretend to examine the ceiling. “I’m just saying, it makes the whole mysterious-silent-guy thing slightly more tolerable.”

He lets out a soft laugh—barely audible, but it’s real.

And suddenly, sitting across from him doesn’t feel so heavy.

He stands up suddenly, the chair sliding back with a soft scrape against the floor. You jolt slightly, halfway through processing his laugh, and blink up at him.

His expression has shifted—still calm, but there’s something else now. A hint of gravity in the way he looks at you.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, catching you off guard. “For the suddenness of all this.”

You sit up straighter, unsure what to say. It’s the first time he’s acknowledged the whole arranged-marriage-against-your-will situation out loud.

Before you can respond, he steps closer, extending a hand—not forceful, just open. “Let me show you why.”

Your heart skips. “Why what?”

“Why our parents thought this could work,” he says, and for the first time, there’s no teasing in his tone—just sincerity. Gentle, but certain.

You stare at his hand. His fingers are long, precise. A surgeon’s hands. Hands that fix hearts.

And here he was, offering them to you.

So, slowly, hesitantly, you place your hand in his.

And just like that, something shifts again. Less awkward. A little warmer. A little more real.

He guides you out to his car—a sleek, polished thing that looks like it probably knows more about taxes than you do. He opens the passenger door for you, which is either chivalrous or unsettling, you’re not sure yet.

You slide in, still trying to wrap your head around this whole situation, when he leans in unexpectedly close—and reaches across you.

Your breath catches.

Then—click—he fastens your seatbelt.

You blink at him, flustered. Not because it was romantic. It wasn’t. It was clinical. Efficient. Like buckling you in was a task on his daily checklist.

Still, your brain short-circuits a little.

“Thanks,” you mumble, confused by how something so unromantic could still make your stomach flutter.

He simply shuts the door and rounds the front of the car, settling into the driver’s seat like he’s done it a hundred times.

You glance over. “So… where are we going?”

He shifts the gear with practiced ease, eyes on the road. “To see my parents.”

You freeze. “Now?”

“Yes.”

“As in—meeting the in-laws now?”

Zayne glances at you, completely calm. “You’re my wife. It’s only natural.”

You groan quietly into your palms. “This day just keeps getting better and better.”

At your dramatic groan, Zayne gives the faintest hint of a smile—so subtle you almost miss it. Just the smallest twitch at the corner of his lips, like your misery is a quiet source of amusement to him.

You narrow your eyes. “Was that a smile?”

“I don’t recall,” he says, cool as ever.

You huff and turn your gaze out the window, resigned to what you assume will be an awkward, overly formal afternoon in a mansion filled with judgmental in-laws and porcelain teacups.

But twenty minutes later, when the car slows to a stop, your sarcasm dies in your throat.

Because this isn’t a mansion.

It’s a cemetery.

Your eyes flick to him, your voice suddenly small. “Zayne…?”

He cuts the engine and unbuckles his seatbelt, his expression unreadable again.

“You said you wanted to know why,” he says, gently. “So I’m showing you.”

And just like that, your earlier words—your groaning, your dramatics, your little internal jokes—feel like they belong to someone else entirely.

Zayne steps out of the car without another word, and you follow, suddenly quiet, your footsteps softer on the gravel. The wind tugs at your sleeves as he leads you up a small hill, the world around you hushed, respectful.

The trees part at the crest, revealing an open clearing.

Two gravestones stand side by side, worn but well-kept, the grass around them neatly trimmed. Fresh flowers rest at their bases—white lilies, carefully arranged.

Your breath catches in your throat.

Zayne slows as he approaches, his hands in his coat pockets. He doesn’t say anything right away, just looks at them for a long moment. When he does speak, his voice is low, quieter than you’ve ever heard it.

“These are my parents.”

Your chest tightens.

You glance at him—his posture still straight, still composed, but there’s something softer now. Something heavy that doesn’t show in his face, but in the silence he carries around it.

“They passed away when I was in my first year of med school,” he says, eyes fixed on the stones. “I visit them every week. I always bring lilies—my mother liked them.”

You stand there beside him, uncertain at first, then quietly fold your arms, the weight of the moment settling on your shoulders.

“I didn’t know,” you murmur.

“I know,” he says, and for once, there’s no edge in his voice. Just truth.

And suddenly, you understand what he meant earlier. Why he said he wanted to show you. Why he apologized.

Because this marriage wasn’t just sudden—it was the first thing in a long time he hadn’t had to face alone.

“My parents made an agreement with yours,” Zayne says, his voice steady as he turns to face you.

There’s no accusation in his tone, no bitterness. Just quiet honesty.

“So in a way,” he continues, meeting your eyes, “we’re both stuck in this predicament. Not just you.”

The word predicament almost makes you laugh—because that’s exactly what it is. A polite, miserable mess you’ve both been handed like a family heirloom no one wanted.

But the way he says it… it’s not cold. It’s not detached.

It’s shared.

For the first time, you see the man behind the silence. Not just the polished stranger with perfect posture and unreadable expressions—but someone who lost his family, who carried grief with clinical grace, who walked into this marriage just as unprepared as you.

You lower your gaze, toeing the earth gently beneath your shoe. “Guess that makes us reluctant allies.”

“Something like that,” he murmurs.

Then, after a pause, he adds, “But I don’t intend to stay strangers with you forever. Not if we’re in this together.”

You feel something small and strange crack open in your chest.

Hope. Maybe. Or just the beginning of something real.

After the quiet moments of prayer—hands clasped, heads bowed, the wind weaving through the stillness—you and Zayne make your way back down the hill in silence. It’s not uncomfortable this time. Just… thoughtful. Like something unspoken has shifted between you.

The ride home is calm, the late afternoon sun casting soft light through the windshield. You glance over at him, watching the way his fingers rest lightly on the steering wheel, the way his profile is bathed in gold.

You hesitate, then ask, voice gentle, “How do you feel about this marriage?”

He doesn’t answer right away. The road stretches ahead, lined with trees and fading light, and you think maybe he won’t answer at all.

But then, a faint smile tugs at the corner of his lips—small, but unmistakable.

“I don’t mind it,” he says, not taking his eyes off the road. “Now that I’ve met you.”

You blink.

It’s not grand or poetic. It’s not a love confession or sweeping gesture. But something about the way he says it—so simple, so sure—makes your heart trip a little in your chest.

You turn back to the window, trying to hide the warmth creeping into your cheeks.

And for the first time, the silence between you feels like something full, not empty.

—•

When you reach home, Zayne unlocks the door with quiet efficiency and steps inside like he’s been doing it for years—even though technically, it’s your first week as reluctant roommates.

He shrugs off his coat and heads straight for the kitchen.

You trail behind him, curious. “What are you doing?”

“Making tea,” he says, already reaching for the kettle.

You arch a brow. “Seriously… did you go to husband-training-school or something?”

He glances at you over his shoulder, eyes just a touch amused. “Is that a thing?”

“It should be,” you say, hopping up onto a stool at the kitchen counter. “You open doors, buckle seatbelts, visit your parents’ graves with fresh flowers, and now you make tea? Either you’re weirdly good at this or you’ve been raised by a very intense etiquette instructor.”

Zayne smirks—an actual smirk this time, not the half-ghost of one. “My mother believed in manners. My father believed in precision.”

You nod sagely. “Ah, so you were raised by royalty.”

He sets two mugs on the counter, then adds, “And I believe in not poisoning my wife with bad tea on day seven of our arranged marriage.”

You lift your hands. “Low bar, but I appreciate it.”

He chuckles quietly as he pours the water, and you watch him, a strange sort of warmth settling in your chest.

Turns out, “reluctant husband” looks a lot like “softly competent tea-making mystery man” when no one’s looking.

You watch him as he carefully stirs the tea, trying to look casual, though there’s an edge to your curiosity. “So, have you got a girlfriend? Before all this…?”

The question hangs in the air, a little awkward, but you can’t help yourself. You’re still trying to figure out who he is outside of this whole marriage thing. You need to know what kind of life he led before it all changed.

Zayne doesn’t answer immediately, his movements slowing for just a moment as if he’s considering the question carefully. His eyes flick to you, then back to the steaming mugs.

“No,” he says after a beat, the word simple but loaded. “I didn’t. Too busy, I suppose.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Too busy for dating? I find that hard to believe.”

He lets out a quiet breath, placing the spoon down with the kind of deliberation that makes you think there’s more behind it. “It’s not that I didn’t have time. I was just… focused on other things.”

“Like saving lives?” you tease, leaning on the counter.

He glances at you, his eyes meeting yours for the briefest moment before he gives a small nod. “Exactly. I never made time for anything else.”

You hum thoughtfully, but there’s something in his voice that makes you stop. Focused on other things. You wonder if that was his way of avoiding other things. Or maybe he just never let anyone close enough.

You catch his gaze again, and this time, there’s a flicker—an unspoken something in the way he holds it. You can’t quite place it, but it’s enough to make your stomach tighten, just slightly.

“Well, now you’ve got me,” you say, trying to keep the tone light. “I guess that makes two of us.”

Zayne’s lips curl into the faintest smile. “Indeed.”

That night, you change into something nice—half-expecting a stiff, high-end restaurant with white tablecloths, six forks, and judgmental lighting.

But when Zayne pulls the car up to a quiet little corner bistro tucked between a flower shop and a bookstore, you blink in surprise.

It’s not fancy. No valet, no sparkling chandeliers, no menus written in French.

It’s… cozy.

Warm lights glow from inside, casting golden puddles on the sidewalk. Through the windows, you spot mismatched chairs, little potted plants on the tables, and the soft flicker of candlelight.

Someone’s playing gentle jazz on a guitar in the corner, and the air smells like garlic and fresh bread.

“This isn’t what I expected,” you murmur as he opens the car door for you.

He raises a brow. “Disappointed?”

You shake your head slowly. “No. Actually… I like it.”

He doesn’t smile, not really—but there’s a flicker in his eyes, like that’s exactly the answer he was hoping for.

Inside, you’re seated at a small table by the window. The waiter greets Zayne like he’s been here before, which surprises you even more. You hadn’t pegged him as the “quiet Italian bistro” type. More like “emotionally distant, espresso-fueled loner.”

But here he is. Ordering your meal with quiet confidence, asking if you want sparkling or still water like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

And somehow, it feels normal.

As you sip your wine and let the warmth of the room settle around you, you realize this whole evening—isn’t part of some obligation or checklist.

He brought you here because he wanted to.

And that realization sits quietly between you, more intimate than candlelight.

“What did you study?” Zayne asks, his tone casual but deliberate.

You pause, fingers tightening slightly around your water glass—not because the question itself is startling, but because he asked it. He, who rarely volunteers anything beyond necessity, is choosing to ask you something personal. Choosing to know you.

And that… that makes your chest feel oddly warm.

“Uhm,” you say, blinking out of your surprise. “I majored in Economics.”

He nods, his gaze steady. “I assume it’s to help your parents, then?”

You smile faintly, setting your glass down. “Yeah. I mean, I was never really pushed into it, but it felt like the logical thing to do. Legacy and all that.”

He hums, clearly understanding. “Pressure has a way of wearing itself like a choice.”

You glance at him, eyebrows raised. “That was poetic.”

He shrugs, unbothered. “It’s true.”

And you find yourself smiling—not the awkward, forced kind you used to wear around him, but a quiet, genuine one.

“Did you always want to be a surgeon?” you ask in return.

He considers for a moment, then says, “No. I wanted to be an architect when I was younger.”

You blink. “Seriously?”

“I liked building things,” he says, eyes flicking to you with a faint glimmer of amusement. “But life had other plans.”

And just like that, you realize you’re not dining with a stranger anymore.

You’re slowly, carefully, getting to know your husband.

You narrow your eyes at him, lips twitching as you lean back in your chair. “You wouldn’t have made a good architect,” you say, your tone teasing.

Zayne glances up from his plate, one brow arching in mock offense. “Oh? And why’s that?”

You shrug, swirling your water like it’s a wine glass. “Too serious. You’d probably design buildings with no windows. Just perfectly symmetrical, intimidating concrete blocks where joy goes to die.”

He huffs a quiet laugh, the corners of his mouth lifting. “I happen to like symmetry.”

“Exactly,” you grin. “You’d build dystopian fortresses and call them modern masterpieces.”

He leans forward slightly, voice lower, a touch playful. “And what would you build? Something inefficient with fairy lights and personality?”

You gasp, hand to your chest. “Yes. And they’d be beloved.”

Zayne smiles, really smiles this time—and for a second, you forget the marriage was arranged. Because god damn, he looks good when he smiles.

—•

Zayne drives you home after dinner, the quiet hum of the engine filling the space between you. The city lights blur softly past the windows, and you catch yourself smiling—again.

Not because of the food.

Not because of the warm, candlelit atmosphere.

But because he smiled at you.

Not a smirk, not a polite twitch of the lips—an actual, honest-to-goodness smile.

And it was for you.

You lean your head against the window, trying to play it cool, but your heart’s doing backflips like it’s auditioning for the Olympics.

Who knew one smile from a broody cardiac surgeon could make you feel like you were in a coming-of-age movie?

When he pulls up to the house and parks, he doesn’t rush out or unbuckle your seatbelt like earlier. He just sits for a moment, hands resting lightly on the steering wheel, glancing at you through the corner of his eye.

“Thank you,” you say softly, turning to him. “For dinner. And… for today.”

His eyes meet yours, steady. “You’re welcome.”

You linger a second longer than necessary, then reach for the door handle.

But before you can step out, he adds quietly, “I’m glad you came.”

Your breath catches, but you manage a soft smile.

“Me too.”

And as you walk up to the front door together, side by side, you realize something strange and terrifying and kind of wonderful:

You might actually be starting to like your husband.

—•

You’re halfway through your bedtime routine—hair tied up, comfy shirt on, emotionally bracing yourself for your nightly existential crisis—when you hear his voice from the living room.

“Y/N. Come sit with me.”

You freeze in the hallway like a startled cat.

Your brain short-circuits.

Come sit with me.

On the couch.

In the living room.

You peek around the corner, and there he is—Zayne, in his neatly rolled-up sleeves, glasses off, looking painfully relaxed and devastatingly unfair with one arm resting along the back of the couch like this is some indie romance movie and not your actual, real-life arranged marriage.

You fight the very real urge to scream.

Because—hello?? Attractive, emotionally reserved doctor asking you to sit beside him in dim lighting?

No. Absolutely not. Husband or not, this is a threat to your mental health and emotional stability.

Still, your feet move traitorously toward him.

You sit at the very edge of the couch, posture stiff, like you’re preparing to be interviewed, not casually sitting with your husband.

He glances at you, amused. “You look tense.”

“I am tense,” you mutter, clutching a throw pillow like it’s a life raft. “This feels like a trap.”

Zayne chuckles under his breath, clearly enjoying your slow descent into chaos. “You’re overthinking.”

“You’re underthinking. Have you seen yourself right now?”

He doesn’t answer—just reaches for the remote and switches on a movie.

And you sit there, slowly melting into the couch, wildly aware of how close he is, and wondering how on earth you’re supposed to survive a husband who smiles at you one moment and invites you to sit with him the next like it’s nothing.

It is very much something.

You shoot up from the couch like you’ve just remembered you left the stove on. “I’m gonna go… look for snacks,” you say, your voice a touch too high-pitched to be innocent.

Zayne turns his head slightly, probably about to say something—maybe to offer help or point out where the cookies are—but you don’t wait. You flee the room with the grace and urgency of someone definitely not running from their feelings.

Out of the corner of your eye, just before you disappear down the hallway, you swear you see it.

A smirk.

That little—

Nope. You’re not thinking about that. You are not spiraling over one stupid, stupid smirk.

You fling open the pantry door with more drama than necessary and scan the shelves like a raccoon on a mission. And then… there it is.

A not-so-suspicious box of chocolate. Sitting there. Unlabeled. Untouched. Almost like it was waiting for you.

Naturally, the logical thing to do is take it.

You snatch it like a gremlin, muttering to yourself, “If this is his secret stash, he shouldn’t have left it where I could find it.”

Because if you’re going to emotionally unravel over a handsome surgeon who asks you to sit with him, you might as well do it with sugar.

You shuffle back into the living room, trying not to look suspicious even though you’re literally holding the loot in both hands.

Zayne glances at the box, one brow lifting ever so slightly.

Without a word, you plop down next to him again—this time slightly closer, because apparently you’re a danger to yourself—and open the lid. You pick one out, hesitate, then hold it out to him.

He looks at it, then at you.

And takes it.

Just like that—without hesitation, without question—like it’s the most natural thing in the world for you to offer him something sweet and for him to accept it.

He pops it in his mouth, casual, like he didn’t just cause your heart to skip a full beat.

You stare at him. “You didn’t even ask what it was.”

He shrugs. “I trust your judgment.”

Great. Now you’re emotionally compromised and flustered.

You quickly shove a chocolate into your own mouth before you say something like “Why are you so attractive when you chew?”

This marriage is going to ruin you.

As the chocolate melts on your tongue, rich and smooth, you frown slightly. There’s something… extra about the flavor. A little too warm. A little too bold.

You squint at the box, lifting it closer to inspect the label. The fancy script mocks you as your eyes land on the fine print.

“Hey, these are infused with—”

You stop mid-sentence, turning to Zayne.

He’s flushed.

Not dramatically—but enough. His ears are a little pink, the tips of his cheeks tinged with color, and he suddenly seems very interested in the pattern on the coffee table.

Your eyes widen.

“Oh my god,” you breathe, holding up the box like a smoking gun. “They’re infused with wine.”

He clears his throat. “Just a little.”

“Zayne.”

“I forgot,” he mutters, and now he won’t meet your eyes.

You blink at him, then at the chocolate, then back at him.

And then you burst into laughter.

“Are you—are you buzzed from one piece of wine chocolate?”

He narrows his eyes at you, but there’s no real heat. “I’m not buzzed.”

“You’re flushed.”

“I run warm.”

You clutch your stomach, giggling. “Oh, this is so going in the mental scrapbook.”

He shakes his head, but you swear you see the corner of his mouth twitch.

And suddenly, the couch doesn’t feel so intimidating. The air between you is warm—not from the chocolate or the wine, but from the quiet, ridiculous comfort of two strangers slowly, awkwardly becoming something more.

But fate, in all its twisted sense of humor, decided to laugh directly in your face.

Because as it turns out, Zayne does not do well with alcohol.

At all.

One wine-infused chocolate later, and he’s leaning back into the couch, flushed like he’s been running laps, and visibly warmer—literally and metaphorically.

You glance over just in time to see him tug at the top button of his shirt.

Then the second.

Then the third.

Your brain short-circuits.

You grip the edge of the sofa like it’s the only thing anchoring you to reality. Do not scream. Do not make a sound. You are strong. You are composed. You are—

He exhales, fingers working at the last button near his collarbone, exposing smooth skin and that maddeningly perfect line of his throat.

“I feel… warm,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you.

You don’t respond. Because you can’t.

You’re too busy having an internal meltdown.

This is not a movie. This is real life.

Real life where your emotionally-reserved, wine-chocolate-flushed husband is currently undoing his shirt on your shared couch like he doesn’t know what it’s doing to your sanity.

You bite your tongue and stare straight ahead.

This marriage is a trap.

This couch is cursed.

And Zayne, evidently, is dangerous in more ways than one.

You try—truly try—to focus on the TV.

You fixate on the screen like it holds the meaning of life, repeating in your head. Not looking. Not thinking. Muscles aren’t real. Buttons are lies. Stay strong.

But then—

You feel it.

A hand around your wrist. Warm. Firm.

You barely have time to register it before you’re turned toward him—face-to-face with all of him.

Half-unbuttoned shirt. Lean muscles. Broad chest. Collarbone on full display like it paid rent to be there. His eyes, slightly glazed but locked onto yours with an intensity that could melt furniture.

Your breath hitches. “Z-Zayne!”

Your voice comes out embarrassingly high-pitched. Like a cartoon character caught in a romantic ambush.

His hand doesn’t let go.

Neither does his gaze.

“You’re really red,” he says, eyes narrowing slightly, as if you’re the one being strange in this situation.

“I’m red?!” you squeak, trying very hard not to look down. Or up. Or anywhere.

He leans just the tiniest bit closer, and his voice drops, slow and low. “Are you feeling warm too?”

You make a noise. Not a word. Just a sound. Because your brain has left the building and taken all coherent thought with it.

This couch is no longer a piece of furniture.

It’s a battlefield.

His grip on your wrist softens, but he doesn’t let go. His thumb brushes lightly—absently—against your skin as he stares at you like he’s trying to memorize your entire existence.

And then, with absolutely no warning, he slurs softly, “You’re really… pretty… you know that?”

Your soul momentarily evacuates your body.

You blink at him. “I—what?”

“You are,” he says, a little slower, a little sleepier, his words curling lazily like they’re wrapped in velvet. “Your face is nice. Your eyes do this… sparkle thing. Like the stars. But not, cliché stars. Like… classy stars.”

You open your mouth to reply, but absolutely nothing intelligent comes out.

Because here is your emotionally closed-off husband—tipsy from a single chocolate, shirt halfway undone, staring at you like you hung the moon and casually comparing your eyes to classy stars.

This has officially become too much.

You grab the throw pillow beside you and bury your face in it with a muffled, “Zayne, you’re drunk.”

He hums, leaning back slightly, satisfied like he’s just confessed something profound.

“I’m married to a pretty girl,” he mumbles, like it’s the best realization he’s had all day.

And you? You are one slurred compliment away from combusting.

You reach out without thinking, hand aiming straight for his cheek—half to ground yourself, half because you want to see if he’s real and not just a hallucination brought on by wine chocolate and emotional confusion.

But before your fingers make contact, he catches your wrist again.

Gently. Firmly.

And then—he tugs.

You let out a surprised gasp as you stumble forward, barely catching yourself with your free hand against his chest. He’s solid. Warm. Way too warm.

Your heart skips, then trips, then sprints like it’s running late for something.

You barely have time to react before he looks up at you—eyes soft, dazed, and entirely sincere—and asks:

“Can I kiss you?”

It’s not breathy or desperate. Not bold or teasing.

He says it like a gentleman asking for a dance. Like he’s asking your permission to step into something delicate. Something real.

Your breath catches. The world stills. The TV hums in the background, forgotten.

You’re close enough to see the way his lashes rest against flushed skin, close enough to feel his breath brush against your lips.

And now, you have a choice to make.

Because despite the chaos, the circumstance, the wine-infused madness of it all—Zayne just asked you so politely to kiss you.

And god help you…

You kind of want him to.

You open your mouth to reply—maybe to say yes, maybe to question your sanity—but the words never make it out.

Because his lips are already on yours.

Gentle. Soft. Careful, like he’s still half-expecting you to pull away. Like he knows he’s toeing a fragile line and doesn’t want to break it.

Your eyes flutter shut as instinct takes over, and the world tilts slightly.

You can barely taste the chocolate on his lips, a hint of sweetness tangled with something warmer, something that makes your heart thrum unevenly in your chest.

Your mind goes fuzzy. Not from the kiss itself, but from the feeling that comes with it—the quiet kind. The kind that settles in your chest like a secret you hadn’t realized you were keeping.

He doesn’t rush it.

His hand stays on your wrist, thumb brushing softly along your skin, as if even now he’s asking—Is this okay? Are you sure?

And you are.

Somewhere between wine-infused chocolates, teasing banter, and the way he said Can I kiss you? like it meant everything—you became sure.

And so you kiss him back.

Somehow—somehow—you’re still suspended there, caught in that precarious space between balance and disaster, one hand on his chest, the other still held by his.

And then his hands slide to your waist.

Slow. Sure. Steady.

He holds you like he’s anchoring you—like if he let go, you might float away.

And that’s when the kiss deepens.

No more polite hesitation, no more softness at the edges. It’s still gentle, yes—but there’s more now. More pressure. More heat. More intention.

Your fingers curl against his shirt, and it takes every last ounce of self-control not to start undoing the buttons he didn’t already conquer earlier. Because God, you can feel the strength in him—lean muscle under your palm, warmth radiating like it was meant for you, and he’s kissing you like he’s waited a long time to do it.

You gasp softly against his mouth, and he swallows the sound like a secret.

Your mind is a whirlwind. Logic? Gone. Restraint? Dangling by a thread.

You are this close to losing all common sense and just undressing him right here on the couch like your sanity isn’t hanging on by a single, wine-infused thread.

But then he pulls back, just slightly, his forehead resting against yours, breath warm and uneven.

And he whispers, barely audible, “You taste sweet.”

You’re going to combust.

This man is going to ruin you.

The world blurs at the edges, warm and hazy like honeyed sunlight through half-closed curtains. His breath still ghosts against your lips, his hands still resting on your waist like they belong there, like you belong there.

You feel weightless. Drunk, not on wine or chocolate, but on him—the warmth of his skin, the way he kissed you like it was something sacred, the way he looked at you like you were something more than a stranger handed to him by fate.

Everything is soft. Glowing. Surreal.

Too perfect.

And then—

Blink.

The warmth fades. The light shifts.

You’re no longer on the couch.

You’re standing, stiff, in a room full of flowers and polished silence, your fingers cold at your sides.

Zayne stands across from you, buttoned-up, composed, unreadable. No wine in his system. No flushed cheeks. No trace of that kiss.

Just a man you’ve never met.

And the moment of your arranged introduction.

Your breath catches, and for a second, you don’t know what’s real.

But you do know one thing.

Whatever just happened—dream, vision, or cruel trick of the mind—it’s already begun.

masterlist

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Now don't throw tomatoes at me but I'm actually really excited to finally see malleus again— I've always loved malleus since we met him in the story, but I'm also sooo curious about what's gonna happen next,, I'm wondering the obvious thing, about whether or not we might get a parralel scenario like what happened with the KoD and silver will have to "slay" malleus or at least be the one to land a killing blow, but I also saw a really interesting post focusing on how magic is a manifestation of dreams and deep desires and imagination,,,, in that case, I may (VERY delusionally) hope that Yuu finally gets to be a major part of the story for once??? Even reading the novels, there HAS to be something bigger for yuu— while the idea of crowley simply being an incompetent airhead is fun and more comfortable, haven't you thought that meybe he pulled them into this world deliberately??

All to say, what if at some point, Yuu somehow manifests magic in a very dire moment ?? You know lol?? Agh idk. I just want yuu to finally make impactful choices but that IS too much to ask, as far as we can see for now,,, (but hey, that part leading up to ace getting is UM, and the convo between him and yuu,,, it *does* give one a sliver of hope, doesn't it? :') )

Don't worry, no tomato throwing here! 😅 I may not care for certain characters, but I’m not going to shame anyone that does. You’re free to think however you want about Malleus!

dbjsvsJcwhj My personal feelings about him aside, I am actually glad he’s finally relevant to the main story again. He’s missed out on so much of his own book OTL In the time he’s been gone, the fandom has been left to speculate about both his and Lilia’s potential death flags. I really doubt Twst will have the balls to kill off one of them, but it would be cool to at least see Silver delivering the final blow to knock some sense into (not necessarily kill) OB Malleus.

Yes, it’s true that Silver states in the recent update that magic was originally considered “a miracle borne of strong desires from the heart.” But 💦 I don’t think that means Yuu would randomly manifest magic in the final fight?? It feels more like a “let’s save the day with the power of friendship” to me, but I could of course be wrong.

I understand being frustrated that Yuu’s participation in the main story seems to fluctuate a lot, with most of their activity being books 3, 4, and segments of 1, 6, and 7. That’s not much, especially considering how long books 6 and 7 are. Sometimes (even in events) it feels like Yuu is barely there, as most dialogue options don’t involve different reactions from the characters. Even Yuu's quest to find a way home is barely addressed or taken seriously until early in book 7. Yuu hasn't gotten "real" development unless you count them realizing their Disney dreams are prophetic in book 5, taking the initiative to save Grim in book 6, and that dialogue option about them being worried they're not contributing + the related convo with Ace in book 7. All very short moments in the grand scheme of things. And honestly, I think that makes sense for the kind of character Yuu is. A blank slate, a self-insert, an outsider that's easy to exposit information to, someone with which to view the story, characters, and world through. Yuu is primarily there to be the POV character, the lenses, the camera that we see Twst through. They're not really meant to be a traditional "main character". It's possible that Twst gives them a slightly bigger role at the very end (especially with what went down in the dream in book 7), but I doubt it will be a huge triumphant moment where they and they alone save the day or deal the final blow in a crazy act of self-sacrifice. Twst has always been a story that puts the NRC boys first, while Yuu is the observer.

I've noticed that the complaint of Yuu not doing a lot in the story comes mainly from English speaking fans?? And I guess that makes sense, given how western culture tends to emphasize independence and standing out. They want Yuu to reflect that. They want to be the ones to make a difference. I don't even remember ever seeing these same comments from the Japanese speaking fans; it's definitely a less common sentiment for them. The Japanese fans seem pretty content with Yuu being an observer and taking on more of a minor or supporting role. Again, this fits in with what I understand of many eastern cultures. They're demurer, not wanting to stand out too much from the crowd and instead prioritizing group harmony. Very interesting cultural difference to note!

It's a common theory (with many variants) that Crowley intentionally summoned Yuu to Twisted Wonderland for his own nefarious motives. People found him pretty sus right away due to how he seems to not put in any real time or effort into investigating a way to send Yuu home. Plus, there's that ominous opening monologue of his to consider. However, I don't think he summoned Yuu because of their (potential) great magical capabilities. The Mirror of Darkness tells us that it doesn't sense a shred of magic in Yuu, and Leona smells zero magic on them (though that could be because it hasn't technically manifested yet, as some fans claim).

The idea is that Yuu is supposed to be plain. They are supposed to be magicless. Why? To humble the NRC students and to show them that asserting yourself violently or with great magical power ISN'T the way to go. To show them value in strategizing (which Yuu does in the prologue by helping Grim aim at the ghosts), of camaraderie. What does it say about the story's themes if Yuu, the person who is supposed to be showing them the worth of mundane things, is suddenly... "secretly ultra-strong, actually”/“just like you guys” (even if it's only a temporary hope-fueled magic)? It might contradict what has already been set up. It also breaks the self-insert appeal of Yuu, since developing magic would also mean Yuu would later have to further develop things like proficiency in magic, best/worst subjects, and an unique magic/signature spell... meaning Yuu HAS to become better "defined", thus losing their blank slate nature. This would surely upset some fans who deeply project onto Yuu, have a Yuusona, etc.

Yuu can still make an impact on the characters and the world--and they have, judging by how much closer the boys are with each other--without having to be The Most Special One or like everyone else. I think it undermines what Yuu has already managed to achieve to say that they haven't made an impactful choice at ANY point in the main story when I believe they definitely have. Yuu made the choice to sign the contract with Azul. Yuu made the choice to approach Malleus. Yuu made the choice to go against Crowley's orders and go retrieve Grim from S.T.Y.X. Yuu made the choice to get Leona’s help with the contracts. Yuu made the choice to stand with Adeuce against Riddle in book 1. Yuu made the choice to let the VDC/SDC tribe train at Ramshackle. Yuu has done a lot, and all without needing to seize the spotlight or to do anything big and flashy. I don't think Yuu needs to be big and flashy. There is pride to be had in simplicity and being humble too. There is pride in representing the 90% of humans in Twisted Wonderland that are ordinary and without magic.

(An aside: so if Yuu wasn’t able to manifest magic in many other extreme instances, does that mean their desire to save Grim in book 6 wasn’t “enough”? That their desire to save Ramshackle, their one and only home in this world, wasn’t “enough”? It implies that Yuu didn’t wish hard enough for these other things they clearly care about and want.)

I think a good way to give Yuu a decent role while staying true to their design as a blank slate would be for Twst to really lean into the whole "beast tamer" aspect that was introduced all the way back in the prologue. This would work well with their deep connection to Grim as well. Assuming that Grim ends up being the final OB... We could easily have the NRC students and staff on the ropes, Malleus at his wit's end after exhausting himself with his own OB, a rampaging Grim about to end it all. And then... one lone figure shakily rises from the rubble and confronts Grim. One human. Magicless, defenseless. A human lost in an unfamiliar world, a human who believes they're useless and don't contribute much. A human who is always in need of being protected by others. But not anymore. This time, it's Yuu's turn to protect what they love--their friends, this world they've come to love, Grim. Ace and Deuce yelling at Yuu to not be stupid, to get back--but Yuu just advances, calling out to Grim and begging him to stop. And maybe it's Yuu's wish that rallies everyone and/or gets OB Grim to hesitate. That's when they can strike. Is that corny? Yeah. Does it sound like the ending to a Disney film? Sure. But it still grants Yuu, a magicless human that is supposed to be there to teach everyone about friendship, cooperation, and humility, their big moment to shine. The best of both worlds, I'd say.

[canonsinthehead]

Yuji/Sukuna/Choso Familiy & Sibling Dynamics Headcanons.

(this is old but imma post it anyway)

BIRTH ORDER & AGE

First, let’s address their birth order. So Choso is born first (obviously) followed by Sukuna and then Yuji. Ironically, they do possess many of the stereotypical personality traits we associate with your birth order:

First Born Choso (Second Parent/Older Sibling Curse): a severe case of “neglected older sibling syndrome”, overachiever/perfectionist/hyper independent, parental figure, difficulty expressing emotions properly, responsible. 25-26 yo.

(Cursed) Black Sheep Middle Child Sukuna: “unloved” child, when I mean black sheep I mean in a VERY bad way, isolated by age since Yuji is too young and Choso too old, independent, Rebellious as fuck, lone wolf, overall red flag, 19-21 yo.

Favorite Maknae/Golden Child Yuji: Obvious favorite child (by parents and siblings), charming, outgoing, creative, social butterfly, often needs reassurance, 15-16yo.

They used to be 5 siblings but the other 2 passed away (Kechizu and Eso), leaving only these 3. Their parents' history is a bit unknown and complicated since they are a reunified family.

Yuji and Sukuna’s dad raised them during their diaper years but that’s all before he passed away. As for their mom, she vanished without a trace, so they don’t remember much of her. Since she was their father’s second wife it didn’t affect as much either. This other mother who birthed Chosos and their two other brothers is also mysterious since they as well don’t know a lot about her either.

They all most of their care under Yuji/Sukuna’s grandad care but the old man couldn’t wait for them to reach the age right age to get out of his house especially Sukuna with all the trouble he caused. Meanwhile Choso was abroad working as a model, but then grandad passed away, he came back to take full responsibility of his only brothers left meanwhile Sukuna who just got released from prison/juvi went his own way.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First Born Second Parent Choso

As I mentioned before Choso has always been the most responsible type, but it is not completely true. When he left the household first, he went on a self-discovery quest. He tried different avenues for his life and made a decent of money as a legit model. Away from his family's eyes and under different stress, he got involved in various types of hard drugs that scarred his eyes permanently.

Grandad’s death motivated him to get clean and get his act together to take of Yuji. The passing of his brothers pained him the most and their grandfather’s death made him feel like he was abandoning Yuji by being away and leaving him alone for his selfish ambitions. He now works 2 jobs, one in data entry and another in graphic design.

He will not mention while being overseas, how he got mixed up with a weird crowd and witnessed darks things. Aside from a satanic cult and people with supernatural abilities, a man named Kenjaku seriously claimed to be Yuji’s mom. What?

Choso spoils Yuji to the fullest. He appreciates how Yuji genuinely looks up to him and respects his quirky/edgy personality and looks. Sukuna will never admit it, but he is envious of their close relationship/bond to the point of being a full-blown hater. Since their toddler days, he did all he could to destroy it while hating being associated with his two brothers.

Cursed Black Sheep Middle Child Sukuna

Well well… it seems like he always was like this vindictive evil ass kid. Since his younger years, he contrasted Yuji’s bubbly and sweet personality with his cruel and harsh tendencies.

Going from hurting kids in pre-school and middle school to beating up twice his height and weight in high school and beyond, he seemed like a typical hyperactive mean little kid, but it evolved into something sinister.

His room is a constant mess. Smells of weed, piles of clothes, and IS THAT A REAL SWORD AND A KNIFE COLLECTION ON THE WALL?!? He hides handguns and military grade snipers under his bed.

As I said, he got tattoos OVERNIGHT, many suspected he joined a gang around the age of 15 yo, the same period when he was hopping from one problematic situation to another. Getting kicked out of high school many times to end up in an alternative school (which he ran away from btw). In reality, he was a gang leader and already made a name for himself with few bodies under his belt.

At 17 yo, he was sent to juvie/prison, during that time nobody knew where he was and what he was doing. Cutting ties with him was not difficult, it almost felt like a relief since he has been exponentially wilding out since Choso left.

“I’m not gonna babysit you, bye.” He told Yuji, Before he vanished without a trace, leaving his younger brother alone behind. It's not like Yuji couldn’t survive without him (not going to happen with Choso constantly sending money from abroad). Their landlord exploited the teenager’s situation and kicked Yuji out of their apartment. Luckily Nanami was there to help….

Sukuna is the type to:

Blast his music with 1000% volume in his trap car windows wide open.

He tried to do a drive-by on Yuji and Megumi

Sneak out of his bedroom by the window

Matter of fact, many people will try to beat up Yuji thinking it’s him. Luckily Megumi is with him and the boy can defend himself

After moving into Nanami’s house, Yuji can live a normal life for a while. but 2-3 years later Sukuna shows up unannounced as if he hasn’t been missing for all this time saying “Yeah, I was in jail.”. nobody can verify this information.

He is by definition the male counterpart of baddies/city girls/bad girls of the world. And attracts them. He would sleep with them. According to rumors and a lot of “He Said, She said” saying he ate some of past his girlfriend’s kids. But always keep in mind he cares NOTHING about ANY women.

You can catch him at your local Travis Scott concert casually engaging in devil worship. Meanwhile Yuji in content forcing Nobara and Megumi to go see Megan Thee Stallion. Luckily Gojo and Todo are fans as well.

Sukuna is somewhere in the rough parts of town in a busted basement apartment with some white haired girl.

How is this man still breathing or standing when you can only see him eat Mcdonalds and Taco Bell.

Nanami raised his voice against him after he tried to sneak up on his wife during the night (You look delicious, come here!). This added to the months of Nanami being on high alert 24/7. He had to add locks to all bedrooms’ doors fearing he would attempt to kill everyone during the “ungodly hours of the night”

Sukuna listens to drill/Trap Rap. The hardcore type (anything adjacent to Baby Khia)

(NSFW) This guy has an unhealthy obsession with Megumi Fushiguro (it’s about to get devious…) he goes on and stalks the boy and pulls on him like;

 “Why don’t you join my gang my sweet little Fushiguro?” “We would make a perfect duo together, forget about my goofy ass brother” “I jerk off thinking about you” “Let me lick your feet”

Yuji got beat up bad the first and only time he asked why does Sukuna wears long pointy acrylic nails.

Sukuna is a proud cop hater; he’ll eat them for lunch.

He also commits armed robbery/home invasion without a mask and STILL not getting caught.

Favorite Maknae Golden Child Yuji

he is the type seriously ate glue as a kid

Was and still is a hardcore otaku especially when it comes to music and dances. His anime impressions are legendary.

Yuji has a weird habit of being extra touchy with the adults he is attached to, especially with hugs and burying his head in their chest. (mainly with Nanami & Choso). Nanami WARNED him not to do it with his wife or he will have to kill him. Himself.

His room is full of posters.

Will eat ANYTHING.

[slashfic-daydreams]

How would you describe Ghost and Lysa's relationship? Any headcanons?

Partners in Crime

Fandom(s): Dorian Slashfic

Character(s): Ghost, Lysa Monroe

Pairing(s): Ghost X Lysa

Writing Style: Headcanons

Genre(s): Fluff, Angst

Warning(s): Manipulation, mention of witchcraft, death from gunshot

Note: Ghost and Lysa, eh? 👀 I'm very intrigued in their relationship in the first place, so I'll give this one a try. I haven't really passed the paywalls, so I'll be going a bit inaccurate here. Anyway, hope you like it! :3c (YIPPEE IT'S FINALLY DONE)

I like to imagine that Ghost and Lysa were very close to each other, constantly hanging out during and after classes.

We all know that he used to have a crush on her, so this is probably where he began to be an absolute simp. (He simps harder for MC, so don't worry.)

Ever since Ghost began hanging out with Lysa, I think he starts to get high marks. It can probably go the other way around. There is no in between.

He probably grew a crush on her because she is mysterious yet enticing. There is something dangerous about the girl, and he loves that. She is hard to get, and he enjoys the thrill of winning her over.

There is a big possibility that Ghost was introduced to a bit of witchcraft by Lysa. I'm not very sure on this one, but I have a feeling that she did at one point.

In one of my thoughts, Ghost might have liked her so much that he ignored some of her red flags, regardless if it was obvious or subtle. If the others warn him, he becomes defensive. (this is rather confirmed in Chapter 30.) Absolutely a fuckin' simp.

He probably tried to flirt and tease her, too, assuming that Lysa doesn't notice his attempts.

Putting aside all of that toxic stuff, the duo often hangs out during the weekends. He often enjoys cooking a warm meal for the both of them, especially if they ran out of snacks.

No matter where they are, these two always find a way to crash out together. These two can never get bored because they are always doing something.

I have a headcanon that Ghost got his alias from Lysa. In many times, the Slasher is often having a difficult time creating original names.

He wears a fox mask because Lysa wore one, too. The only difference is the breed of the fox: Lysa is a marble fox while Ghost is a red fox. They are also confirmed to be a Slasher duo in the past.

Lysa Monroe

His trust issues originated from his crush's betrayal. Ever since that dreadful day, Ghost has learned to keep his guard up, no matter who he is with. He doesn't want history to repeat itself.

Before I begin, let me share my headcanons about Lysa: I think she is the reserved type of person, but she's not a goth. She is just not very fond of talking unless she is with her circle of "friends". She also has this aura that makes people feel like there is something about her—they can't describe it, but they sense she has a secret. Lysa is physically attractive as well, especially for the boys in the university, so she has a lot of admirers. Okay now let's start.

At one point, maybe she did genuinely like Ghost?? Maybe. Maybe not. But it's giving me the vibes that she used to actually like him before it all fades away.

Lysa influenced Ghost on many things such as makeup (I headcanon Ghost wears black eyeshadow), dyeing his hair, and even more horror-related stuff. She may be reserved, but she's definitely got her own interests, too.

Remember when I mentioned that Ghost might have ignored Lysa's red flags? She took advantage of this in order to manipulate Ghost further.

Lysa has always been playing mind games on Ghost, simply disguising it as either oblivion or playful teasing.

Despite using him for her own personal gain, there are some times where she actually likes to have him around. His playful demeanor makes her breathe here and there.

The reason of Lysa's betrayal is because she was done with him, I guess? She probably got what she needed from him to complete her plan. Despite Ghost being a Slasher and playful, she knew that he wasn't dumb. In order to prevent her plan from being ruined, she kills him off. That's just my take.

(The banner used is created by me. Ask for permission first if you wish to use it in your works.)

[itsthestutterforme]

Hey Rebel 1/2 (Alpha!Ari Levinson x omega!reader)

Summary: Ari tags along on one of your missions, nearly jeopardizing it when he catches a whiff of your intoxicating scent.

Notes: GIF is not mine, this is not a beta’d read, A/B/O dynamics, reader is Afro!Latina and a CIA agent, reader is very bratty in this series

**

“I see the target,” you said through comms. The loud bass from the music reverberated in your ribs as you push passed a few people in the club.

The club was a lot more busy than you anticipated which made your mission quite easy for you.

You preferred to work alone on missions but with this particular target was violent and the two of you had history.

He killed your partner and made you watch. He kept you alive to continue the torment of know that your mistake had your partner killed.

Though he wasn’t just your partner, he was boyfriend at the time. His scent was everywhere in your apartment, and when it slowly started to disintegrate in spaces he would hang out the most, you wanted to tear your heart out.

When his clothes stopped smelling him and started smelling like you, you had nothing left of him but memories.

He wasn’t your mate necessarily, but you he made you feel safer than any of your previous boyfriends had.

His death put you in second gear on your missions. Your accuracy increased by 23% and you spent every waking minute in the gun range or in the gym. You were a forced to be reckoned with and quickly became Ethan’s favorite agent.

And Ethan couldn’t have his favorite girl off on a potential murder mission without backup.

So he sent in a newer agent with a promising record in shooting accuracy for support. And he sent in Ari, his other favorite.

If the target made your cover, he was as good as gone. So you put your pride aside and disguised as an exotic dancer.

It was the best chance to get close to the target without immediately getting made.

You tugged at the bottom strap of your solid gold top to alleviate some pressure on your ribs. You were sure they gave you a size smaller than you told them so your breasts are practically spilling out.

The bottom was a measly and thin, it was very obvious that it was made of leotard fabric and tailored it to be a bikini bottom.

You had absolutely no breathing room in this outfit. Every inch of skin on your body that could be visible is shown.

You’re not necessarily used to your sternum tattoo and your thigh tattoos being visible to the naked eye.

Continuing through the crowd, a man slapped your ass as he walked by making you immediately tense.

You looked over your shoulder at him, watching as he drank your figure in. One disgusting man isn’t going to jeopardize your mission, so you continued moving.

The mixed scents of designations with smoke and sweat made you nose blind to anything else so you didn’t bother sniffing.

You made eye contact with the newer agent when he started speaking on coms.

“I count five guards,” he says, pressing and adjusting his Bluetooth in his ear.

A scowl made its way onto your face when you saw a larger man in an all black suit look in the new agent’s direction.

He flagged down another man and they converse for a few paces, sending occasional glances in his direction.

Shit.

“Do me a favor and stop messing with your comms. You’ve been made. Go to the rendezvous point.” You commanded.

“I wasn’t made.” “Fine then I’ll let Tweetledee and Tweetledum take you into the back alley and beat you to a pulp,” you snap.

His eyes widen when the two large men push their way through the crowd and beelined straight for him.

“On it. Sorry.” He rushes out the back door with them hot on his tail.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you rolled your neck around until it cracked. “Maybe you should go easy on the kid,” Ari points out.

“I’m not going to let anyone jeopardize my mission, Romeo.” “Your mission?” you opened your mouth to respond when a man whistled over at you, motioning you to come over once you made eye contact.

“Care to give me a dance, sweetheart?” The man asks, pulling you into his lap and squeezing your waist eagerly.

“Anything you want,” Ari’s gaze darkened when he saw your hips moving sensually to the soft beat of the music.

You threw your head back, your box braids swaying around until the landed on your chest. The man pulled you even closer, scenting the sensitive skin below your ear.

A omega woman approached Ari with a tray full of drinks.

“May I offer you a drink, sir?” She bends down slightly so he could take a drink from his seated position.

“Thanks honey,” he took out his wallet and gave her a twenty for her consideration. Her hand caressed his palm when she gingerly took the bill from his hand.

She moved her hair to the side, exposing her unmarked gland. “I’m not interested,” he takes a sip of his bourbon once the omega moves away from him.

Ari hasn’t had genuine relationship with an omega that wasn’t sexual. He initially fell for the bullshit theory that philosophers create centuries ago about the match made in Heaven.

An alpha and an omega destined to be together by the Alpha Gods.

He quickly realized when he married Rachel that not every omega can spark that special connection.

Just because omegas weren’t easy to find in common society, doesn’t mean they’re all special. Now he’s found himself caught in a marriage because an omega got pregnant

Neither of them have filed for a divorce yet because of the immense amount of paperwork and money that would go into it.

Ari came to terms with the fact that his child spends more time with the babysitter than with her parents.

With him away on missions and Rachel spending every waking minute with her sugar daddy alpha, the kid doesn’t stand a chance at a normal childhood.

And it’s not like anything is going to change any time soon.

Ari was seated in a loveseat across the room for you. He watches you over the rim of his glass, still dancing on the man’s lap.

He tilts his head as he tried to decipher your thigh tattoos from behind.

“I didn’t realize how tatted you were, Juliet.” You rolled your eyes at Ari’s remark and had glanced over the man’s shoulder at the target.

Rumlow. You thought to yourself. The man he was meeting hasn’t up yet, but you needed to prepare yourself for when he does.

Your strategizing was cut short when the man cradled your neck, smoothing a hand over your gland.

You stopped your movements, narrowing your eyes directly into his. The smile slowly fell from his face and a low growl grumbled in your chest.

His hand slowly dropped from your gland and you snapped at him.

“Shit. I’m sorry,” he holds his hands up and you slid off his lap.

“Pig,” you walked away from him and made your way to the bar. You were going to be giving drinks for the rest of the night. Screw the dances.

“Well that wasn’t very nice,” “Fuck you, Romeo.” He smiles against the glass before downing the rest of the bourbon.

Ari couldn’t help but notice the frequent head turning from groups of men when you walk by. Followed by the sniffs in your general direction.

Ari had to admit, you had an interesting scent. Actually, there is no scent initially and no way of telling what designation you were.

The way you carried yourself, you could easily be mistaken for an alpha. But Ari had a sneaky suspicion that you weren’t an alpha.

You were an omega that took the strongest scent blockers he’s even heard.

He’s smelled your original scent before. It was a faint whiff, but he smelled it and he’s been drunk for it ever since.

He made the connect that you scent spikes through the scent blockers when you’re aggravated about something.

Luckily for him, he had a knack for being aggravating. Truth was, Ethan knew you were capable of doing this mission alone.

It was Ari who insisted on tagging along.

But you will never figure that out. Or maybe you will, you’re quite the sharp tool. “We have a long night ahead of us. So let’s just play nice.” Ari suggests.

“Don’t provoke me and maybe I will,”

You continued serving drinks, getting more and more annoyed with every slap on the ass you received.

Ari kept an eye on the door to any new faces turn up and after a while, you realized how quiet your comms have been.

It’s been dead silent for at least five minutes. And Ari never knew when to shut up so you knew something was wrong.

You looked around for Ari only to find him staring at you confusingly. You needed to talk to him but you couldn’t pull him aside.

Otherwise that would break your cover. Letting out a sigh, you set the tray of drinks down at the bar and made your way over to him.

“Follow my lead,” you said to him, putting your hand on his shoulder and sliding into his lap. He keeps his hands by his side as he looked at you attentively.

You held his gaze for a moment before moving your hips against him and rolling your body. “What happened to comms?”

“No idea,” he slowly slides down the seat, his hands gripping the arm rests for dear life.

“Do you know how long they were out?” “No,” he grunts. “Do you think they’re onto us?” “There’s a chance. Are they looking?”

You glanced over his shoulder and saw Rumlow with a dancer giving him a lap dance. He downs his drink and shakes his glass at the bartender.

You felt Ari’s body tense underneath you and you raised a brow at him.

“If you want this to be believable, I need you to touch me.” “I’m trying to be respectful,”

“Please. Don’t pretend like your eyes haven’t been glued to my ass all night, Romeo.” He licks his lips and rested his hands on your thighs.

The second his hand touched your bare thigh, you inhaled sharply. Heat spread from your thighs up your waist and chest, finally resting on your face.

Your mating gland throbbed painfully and you stopped moving against him. His grip on your thighs tightened when you tried to move off of him.

Ari groans as the same burning heat took over him, his gland pulsing at the same rhythm as yours.

Your heart sank in your chest when you made the realization. Your scent was spreading passed the scent blockers.

Ari’s hands move up your back and held you close, dipping his head to inhale your sweet scent of honeysuckle and warm honey.

You let out a fearful growl when the tip of his nose brushes the base of your throat.

Your heart continued to patter in your chest when you made eye contact with the group of betas looking over at you, sniffing in your general direction.

The anxiety caused your scent to spike and you attempted to leave his lap once again but he held you down.

“Let me go,” “If I let you go now, they will swarm you. Just trust me,” he says the last few words slowly, removing his grip from your back.

He takes a few deep breaths, moving your body with each breath. You looked over at the initial group of betas who crinkled their noses and looked away from you.

His husky scent of pine and sandalwood invaded your nose in strong wafts. He was masking your scent with his, staking an unwanted claim. You had matched your breathing to his, bring you out of your anxiousness.

You hadn’t realized you were digging your nails into his dress shirt. Releasing him from your grip, you slid off his lap.

And when you looked over at the target, he was gone. “Mission’s over,” you hugged your arms to your chest and beelined for the changing room before Ari could reach for you again.

He waited for you outside in the car and you had changed back into your black slacks and white blouse.

You had pulled your box braids into a low bun. Sliding into the passenger seat, you tossed your duffel bag in the bag and sent a text to the new agent letting him know you were on your way.

Ari watched you turn your face to look out the window once you send the text. You were actively avoid any interaction with him.

At least before you entertained him with snarky remarks and insults. This was much worse. He reverses out the back alley and onto the highway.

“So are we going to talk about what happened in there?”

“Nothing happened, Levinson.” “Bullshit. You felt something and it scared you.” “No I wasn’t. I was pissed that I missed another chance to take the some of a bitch down.”

“Yeah, sure.” He says skeptically. “Why do you take such strong scent blockers?”

“Because of what happened in there. I’ve always had an intoxicating scent. And it’s gotten me into a lot of trouble as a teenager so I suppress it.”

“It is very intoxicating,” another silence fell over the two of you and Ari looked at you but your gaze remained outside the window.

“You’re really not going to talk about it?” “No. I already have a lot on my plate with work. I don’t need this right now.”

“Our primal instinct doesn’t care about our human duties,” “You sound just like those ancient men in those history books,” you dismiss.

“Look at me,” “No,” “Look at me, omega.” “You’re not my Alpha. You don’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I just want to talk to you.” “There’s nothing to talk about,” “Yes, there is. Stop dismissing everything, Y/N. This is serious.”

And that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

You looked away from the window and said, “How serious is this, Ari? Hm? Is it life or death? Or just some stupid reason for Alphas to have complete control of another living being?”

You poked harshly at his arm and he growled at the tone you used and you emitted a growl low enough to make your chest vibrate.

“Y/N,” he warns. “I am not an omega you can just claim, Ari. If you try, I will make sure to make your life a living hell. So just drop it.”

You held his gaze for a few seconds before returning your gaze back out of the window. Ari made the conclusion like this was nothing like how they described it in the history books.

If you truly was his mate, then how the hell was he going to prove that to you? He had better luck finding a needle in a haystack.

**

Ari wasn’t sure what to do about pursuing you. Your inner omega was aggressive and untamed despite your calm human nature. You were strong for an omega and you made it clear that you had to be earned.

He spent weeks bring your flowers, contacting some of your coworkers to learn your favorite foods and wines. You didn’t trust him at all, but you decided to give him somewhat of a chance.

He took you on a date on horseback. Once he found out you grew up in el campo, he immediately researched the nearest horseback riding stable and booked a session.

He wanted to know as much about you as possible. From you of course, but you’ve been keeping him at arm’s length since you met him.

When he tried to lean in to kiss you after the date, you growled at him and retreated back into your house, leaving him completely dumbfounded on your porch.

You kept him on his toes, which encourages the chase. But Ari’s concern is that you never stop running from him.

That he won’t get the chance to catch you and he’ll lose you forever.

The last thing he had to remember between you was an argument. It was the day before he was set to leave for Ethiopia and wanted to see you before he left.

He would have been gone for weeks at a time and there was no telling when he would be back.

You were pissed because he hid the fact the was married from you. He thought you knew from Ethan but you hadn’t.

He replayed your argument almost daily in his head up until the drive back to your place after the assignment; his face would heat up at the mere thought of it.

“When were you going to tell me? Were you even going to tell me?” “Of course, I was- I thought you already knew.”

You scoffed and turned away from him to walk into your kitchen. “If I knew, I wouldn’t have given you the time of day.”

You took a glass from the cabinet and poured a bourbon on the rocks. “You barely give me the time of day now,”

“Any normal person would have gotten the hint by now and move on,” “Then I guess I’m not a normal person,” you down the drink in one shot, making a face when the burn lingers.

“Ari, I really don’t think this is going to work. You’re married. You obviously married her because you had some sort of connection with her. So focus on repairing things with her instead of starting new with me,”

“No. There was never a connection. I did it out of obligation.” “So.. does that make me an obligation then?”

“I want to be with you, Y/N. We share a connection whether you want to or not. So stop being stubborn for once and allow it to happen.” He snaps.

You met his gaze from across the counter and let out a long breath. “I think you should focus on your mission for tomorrow,” you said after a long pause.

He huffs and presses the palms of his hands against the counter. “Okay,” he said softly and left your house.

You waited for the door to close to lean your head against the wall. He wasn’t going to go away. So that means you have to.

Ari was immediately concerned when he was greeted by a for sale sign in your front yard when he pulled into your driveway.

He left the flower he bought you in the passenger seat and ran up the stairs. The front door was locked so he went around back to check if the sliding glass door was open.

He sighed in relief when the door smoothly slid open. Everything was moved out from the house and your scent has faded out, even in your bedroom.

He bowed his head when he realized that you were gone for nearly as long as he was on assignment.

Where the hell did you go?

He pulls out his phone and clicked on an unsaved number. On the third ring, someone answered.

“Well isn’t this a surprise. How’s it going, sunshine?” Lloyd greets. “Lloyd, I need you to do something to me,” “Name it,”

[acrossthewavesoftime]

top five things YOU have written 🫵🫵 that you're ok with sharing ofc :3

That's a very difficult and interesting question, thank you! :) I don't really know if I can pick five and rate them in a set hierarchy. I like many things I write, shorter and longer, finished and unfinished, so here are 5 that come to mind:

I don't write for it very often, but what I write, I enjoy writing a lot. The early 19th century AU which I came up with for @nordleuchten in which a few generations ago the Stuarts managed to produce some sort of heir, making the Hannovarians bog standard German provincial rulers instead of British monarchs. The man you know as George III and his heir, Prinz Georg stand to inherit the throne as it is expected that the Stuart line will come to an end in their lifetime. Georg is pretty much good old Prinny, who however decides to take drastic measures when he finds that being patronised by his dad as a grown man has become insufferable. He decides to take an alias and join the British navy, because what else cries freedom so much as watching romantic sunsets at sea? In the act of leaving clandestinely, he is caught by one Karoline von Braunschweig, a beloathed cousin acting as his mother's lady-in-waiting. Georg takes to life at sea like a duck to water despite the fact that it turns out to be nothing like what he imagined, and becomes a celebrated hero of the Napoleonic Wars. Hijinks ensue when his cover is blown, his brother Ernst tries to take over the succession, and he realises he doesn't actually loathe Karoline, quite on the contrary, really. Karoline meanwhile has to explain a big belly away, and George sails for a place called Trafalgar... It's all delightfully off and the real George and Caroline would probably disapprove, but sometimes, certain AUs are not meant to be very accurate, just a little silly.

Less silly and as far as my research goes, as close to history as possible, my story on Henry Clinton and Mary Baddeley. I have written so much about the two already, it's almost a novel. I am fascinated by the mutual respect, suppressed affection and surprisingly good documentation there is. Theoretically, their relationship is a communist party meeting worth of red flags; a power dynamic between employer and employee, a substantial age gap, Mary being very much reliant on Clinton's protection from beng sexually harrassed by an officer in her husband's regiment and him falling in love with her while she was pregnant with her husband's child are just the most obvious ones. Regardless of all these things, both, given time, found love. Let's hope I will finish it one day so we can have the big budget adaptation i'm dreaming of ever since learning about the two...

I have a similar thing going for the Graveses, which is a little more light-hearted in that both Mrs and Mr Admiral were two very outspoken people, with Margaret in particular passing judgements on people in her letters worthy of Jane Austen novels. There is some tragedy in that they met at a point in their lives where they both seem to have still been processing the death of a beloved loved one, and both helped raise a child that was not their own. Given their eventful lives, bubbly family and their very loud personalities, however, I think this one writes itself a little easier.

A Stuart AU in which Maria Beatrice d'Este, now Queen of England, has had enough. Identifying, in her mind, her husband's unchanging licentious ways as the reason why God takes all her children from her young, she decides to commit regicide when she realises she is pregnant once more, in order to protect this child at least; because if James is dead, he can no longer commits acts displeasing God, right? The flaws in her logic aside, she makes this last desperate attempt to suffocate James, the husband who has abused her for so long, both physically and mentally, in his sleep with a cushion, but fails as he wakes up. Fleeing England in the middle of the night, Maria Beatrice manages to find a passage to the continent and makes it to The Hague, where the Prince and Princess of Orange now have a political scandal on their hands. What ensues is an intense triangular situation in which everyone is faced with ghosts of the past; Maria Beatrice, who never wanted to get married and have children, is faced by the involuntarily childless Mary who would do everything to be a mother; William by his own conduct towards Mary when they were newly-wed, which he finds himself reminded of by some things Maria Beatrice recounts of her marriage, fearing he may have mistreated Mary, and all three of them by the question of who will one day be James' heir, Mary, or the baby, if it turns out to be a boy, Maria Beatrice is about to have? Includes such memorable scenes as the one in which William feeds a toddler potential pretender a waffle while engineering his ascension to the throne during a council meeting (hey, the waffle-thing at least is based on an event and person during his own childhood, so).

I'm currently writing a little something quite light-hearted featuring Louise de Kérouaille and exploring her perspective on her relationship with Charles II, which I find quite delightful.

If any of you want to know something else about the stories (since I don't post them to AO3), feel free to ask. :)

[thegeminisage]

ok, now that i've watched all of tos (none of the movies yet...) i am going to do the top ten worst and best episodes, according to Me. they are as follows:

WORST EPISODES

10. the savage curtain - idk who thought putting abe lincoln in a cage match with the vulcan version of ghandi against like, ghengis khan and space hitler would be a good idea. but it wasn't. i did like seeing the vulcan father of logic though like "im gonna go sacrifice myself for peace" ok king

9. i, mudd - all of the mudd episodes are bad. he's not charming at all whatsoever. however, this one is better than the other one because uhura gets to pretend to sell out kirk and they're SOOO cute about it. her little giggle when he PICKS HER UP BY HER SHOULDERS and tells her how proud he is. PLEEEEASE

8. charlie x - the entire premise of this episode is that the bad guy is just autistic. and then they make him live on a planet without people because he can't adjust to normal life ???

7. shore leave - obvious racism of this episode aside, the faux-irish jig that played while kirk was being menaced by his extremely unfunny old bully nearly drove me over the edge. we DO love a good mccoy death fakeout tho

6. a piece of the action - if i had any interest in gangster films before this it's all gone now. that being said. i loved when kirk drove the little car. he was so bad at it. he was so happy.

5. mudd's women - like he's literally just selling women?? and the plot twist is that secretly they're ugly?????

4. who mourns for adonias - this is just "what if ALIENS build the pyramids bro" except for the 1960s. nail in the coffin for this one was kirk proudly declaring they didn't needs gods - because they already had the One God, thank you very much!

3. the paradise syndrome - WHY WOULD YOU HAVE NATIVE AMERICANS MISTAKE KIRK FOR GOD. WHY. like i know why but Why. i think the very worst part of this episode was that it had an amnesia plot that would have FUCKED if you had simply removed the people. if there hadn't been people in this it would've been in my top 10 episodes. i think this broke me.

2. the omega glory - this is the same as the last episode except there's no amnesia, and also the "native americans" are white cosplayers who worship the american flag and mistake kirk for god because he can recite the pledge of allegiance yes really. if i had a nickel for every time this happened i'd only have two nickels etc etc at least kirk didn't knock anybody up in this one ig

1. patterns of force - why would you make your two jewish leads wear swastikas and then literally be whipped by nazis. i know he's such a bad person but not even william shatner deserves that. number one worst episode everyone says it's omega glory but it's this one

BEST EPISODES

10. plato's stepchildren - this episode is hard to rank because like it's both good and bad. the torture scenes were genuinely upsetting, especially the ones at the end w/ spock & nurse chapel, because they weren't just violence being inflicted on tied up guys, but they were SUPPOSED to be upsetting, like it was literally the point. and also this episode bears the distinction of THEEE kirk & uhura kiss. literally historic.

9. the trouble with tribbles - i feel like everyone's heard of this but it really is as good as everyone says. sometimes 1960s humor doesn't translate to 2020s humor but it was genuinely hysterical start to finish. also, the distinct trilling sound was so imprinted in my brain i recognized it in the 2009 movie where i had never registered it before.

8. the naked time - aside from the KING SHIT george takei pulled with the fencing this episode also contains the "i am in control of my emotions [sobbing]" moment and kirk & spock LITERALLY having a slapfight. this episode has everything. an absolute masterpiece

7. the empath - i feel like this paired with "the world is hollow and i have touched the sky" really made me a Bones Understander. i feel a little bad about that bc everyone says the characterizations in s3, or actually that the season as a whole, is kinda shaky? but i watched without knowing that and i feel like i Get It now. also, this was the only score i went and relistened to on spotify

6. tholian web - the spock & mccoy episode ever. there's so many things to say about this from the death fakeout to kirk's little space suit but what TRULY got me was the instant and totally nonverbal agreement to lie straight to kirk's face to both preserve personal dignity and troll the shit out of him (while chekov and sulu are like also silently laughing as they listen in no less). what this episode made me realize was that it's a good thing they argue all the time and make kirk play referee because if they were on the same side kirk wouldn't stand a chance. like he'd be finished.

5. the city on the edge of forever - ok, so, this episode made me feel like i was having a mental break. the time travel. spock's little hat. when he watches kirk kiss edith and then goes back into their room to pretend he didn't see anything. mccoy and kirk basically hugging at the end when edith bites it.

4. requiem for methuselah - the first time i watched this i was kinda like :/ because how does kirk fall in love with a woman in FOUR HOURS? that aside the ending scene blew my tits clean off. i paced around my house for like 30 minutes going "what the FUCK was that" because i couldn't simply lie down and sleep after seeing it. rewatching the episode with uh. new context made me like it a little better. but even if it had been garbage the last scene shook me so thoroughly it would still need to be on this list. i'm getting wound up just thinking about it. number one most shocking tos moment.

3. the dagger of the mind - look, i understand that this episode was technically just run-of-the-mill stuff as far as everybody else is concerned but they put james t kirk in a little brainwashing machine. and the machine was shaped like a chair. and it gives people amnesia sometimes. i don't know how i'm expected to behave normally

2. this side of paradise - this is the episode where a flower jizzes on spock and gives him feelings. and look: it's really funny, and there's a lot to love about it. but the ending where kirk hurls verbal abuse at spock for a solid 92 seconds WITHOUT STOPPING followed by: spock beating the shit out of him until he gets his logic back. i have rewatched this perhaps 1,000 times at minimum. what the fuck were they doing

1. conscience of the king - this episode got me into this mess. i don't think i can elaborate further without significant self-incrimination. let's just say what happened was i thought "oh i'll just watch this one tos episode for context for the fanfiction" and one month later i'm writing fic about [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

ok, that's my list. i thought about doing honorable mentions for episodes that had scenes i liked even though the overall episode didn't make it into my top 10. but then i realized that would mean recapping basically the entire series and this post is already too long. i do have to give the pon farr episode a shoutout though because even though so much of it was offputting there was literally a titty window in kirk's shirt. like, it's the pon farr episode. ok NOW i'm done

[bumblehives]

hi tumblr i'm here to give a probably lengthy examination of amane momose from milgram n im gonna talk only about why i think she is a ramcoa / hc - did system as a ramcoa / hc - did system

if it wasn't obvious from that opener, i'm going to talk about ramcoa in an extremely vague fashion, but here's your warning for that either way!!!! if you do not know what a ramcoa / hc - did system is, this is not the place to learn about that!!!! im not going to explain what this is, only why i think amane is part of one!!!! if you want to know more about ramcoa n / or hc - did systems, please look into it on your own, as talking about all of the ins n outs of it would be far too triggering for me myself

ANYWAY WITH THAT ASIDE im using this as my cut - off point so this is where your warning ends n youre getting into my examination / analysis

first point : she is canonically in a cult. while people in cults are not always guaranteed to end up as systems of any kind, much less ramcoa systems, this combined with the way the people in the cult treat her is proof enough that she has endured enough trauma to cause a split in identity.

second point : the music video of "the purge march". in the music video, it opens on a wide, open plain with many children, all of which are holding flags and look identical to her, with one of them in the front, leading them. this alone can be reminiscent of a headspace of sorts or a part of one, especially with the many people in this one space that obviously isn't a part of the real world. of course, in a did system not all of them will end up looking like or identifying with the body at all, but my assumption here is that these are all programmed alters that are meant to behave and seem like amane at all times, only for slightly different programs or purposes. along with this, the one in the front that leads them reminds me of an inner - programmer or higher - up of sorts in a system. the scene where one of the children drops her flag on accident and is immediately reprimanded by the one in the front / in charge feels like an inner - programmer punishing a lower - programmed alter for not behaving or correctly carrying out her program. this is even furthered by her punishment being that of a drowning, while in the real world the punishment she received was likely waterboarding, so it's an inner - programmer using real torture that the body has gone through to further instill programs into the lower alter. along with all of this, immediately after seeing the loss of the cat she had helped, there's a scene that has her real - life counterpart flash into her headspace counterpart, the leader of the march. this seems like a really good allegory for stress - induced or situational switching, where a better - equipped alter fronts to deal with a situation that the alter previously in front wouldn't be able to handle. this often leads to amnesia for the alter that switches out, a subject i will touch on in the next point. immediately after switching, the march leader must realize that the death of the cat means that whoever was responsible has broken one of the cult's main teachings, to not interfere with destiny, as she immediately goes to her home and kills the person responsible ( presumed to be her mother ) for the cats death as punishment for their actions. this is only furthered by the fact that, in the last shot of the music video, it's not the real - world version of amane standing in front of the body, but the march leader.

third point : the music video of "magic". in "magic", the setting is much more bright and happy than that of "the purge march", but since it's not set in the real world, it feels like it could be another part or layer of her headspace. it feels like the amane that we follow here is a direct representation of her in the outside world, while the ones in "the purge march" felt more like clones or alters based off of her while still not being her herself. this could also be a part of headspace created for her so as to not break the illusion of normalcy and happiness that she has over her circumstances, as it's filled with happy anthropomorphic animals and depictions of her gods, who all adore her and guide her in life. these "gods" feel like more programmed alters that were put in place to keep her behavior in line and keep her from doubting the teachings as much, seen through how they all punish her after she helps the cat, but is immediately helped back to her feet and recovered after she seemingly learns her lesson. as opposed to the other music video, the loss of the cat after her punishment actually isn't brought up at all, leading me to think that she has no recollection of the cat having been killed at all, only of her "wrongdoing" and punishment. with this being the case, it's safe to assume that the march leader of the previously mentioned music video is the person that remembers this incident and keeps it as a warning for herself and every other programmed alter, keeping the memory as a sign that they are not to disobey their teachings.

fourth point : the lyrics in "the purge march". of course, all of the lyrics in the song are sung / said with a tone of reverence and formality, similar to a preacher of sorts. these lyrics seem to be sung mostly by the march leader, who speaks of things like repentance, disobeying the rules / being "bad", guilt, and disavowing things of corruption.

now to bring up specific lyrics that i think point to them being a system.

"good morning, ladies and gentlemen! it’s the beginning of a most wonderful day! however, there are blasphemers and silent by-standers, who would have it otherwise. we must not give into them, they are the ones that should be judged. with pure, unsullied body and soul, let us preach all that is true and right!"

this lyric gets me mostly because of the use of "we" and "us" rather than "i" and "me". were it just amane giving herself a pep - talk, the former pronouns would have been used, but it seems to be more of the march leader referring to all of the flag - bearers than anything.

"i disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed. so nary a sound can be uttered a second time, i’ll crush your throat too."

this is presumably sung by the march leader while punishing the flag - bearer ( programmed alter ) that dropped her flag ( failed in carrying out her program ). she references both crushing the eyes of the other as well as crushing her throat, invoking "see no evil" and "speak no evil". this is done while the flag - bearer is sucked into the ground and pulled underwater, all the while the march continues above.

"if you become a bad girl, monsters will come out. this is the magic that stops that from happening!"

this is sung / said by amane herself, and while it is a reference to the higher - ups of the cult, it very much could be a reference to the inner - programmers and other programmed alters of the system. she likely isn't aware of the system itself, but she does know that bad things will happen to her even if the others in the cult don't find out somehow. the "magic" that stops the monsters from coming out would just be avoiding their triggers / cues, which is probably something like purposefully disobeying the rules and other such things.

i could literally go ON n ON about this topic n why amane would be such good representation for a ramcoa / hc - did system, but that's all of the analysis that i have on this subject for now :33 thanks ofr reading if you got this far

[animehouse-moe]

Love reading your post about Vanitas. Thanks for sharing them. I also want to say, love how you wrote the reviews and analysis on anime and manga. Most blog that I know of, when they dislike something, they'll badmouth said anime/manga and that's it. But you wrote in details why you dislike something (not just said negative things about them but also there are the positive things about them).

Because of that, can I ask your thoughts about this? So my mutual and I loved Vanitas, but we cannot agree on the ships. They (my mutual) loved Vanitas/Jeanne and Noe/Domi but I loved Vanitas/Noe. I think it's obvious how Noe loved Vanitas. How about you? Based on the story which ships is more reasonable?

(Okay, I did not know if you agree with non canon shipping or not, if you're anti-shipping, please just ignore this ask. I still loved your blog).

It's all good! I think shipping, in a serious sense, is a central piece to the experience of media! Though that's a whole different conversation.

Spoilers for anime/manga of course.

Being forced to pick, with where we're at in the manga, this is a very very tough decision lol. I'd love to cheat and say I love both for different reasons.

It's really interesting how both ships mirror each though in how they're approached.

Where Vanitas is the initiator with Jeanne, it's the inverse where Noe is the one that pushes forward with Vanitas. Where Vanitas chases Jeanne initially for her hatred, it's Noe that provides the hatred for Vanitas directly. It's a very very interesting thing that's meant to draw the reader in I feel.

Similarly, look at how they've developed. The hatred of Vanitas was the initial catalyst for both, but the resolution of it was totally different. Jeanne's was immediate distaste, but she was unable to keep her distance. Noe on the other hand was closer to, "I don't like you, but I want to stay near you", which resulted in a totally different resolution. Jeanne's was all about showing Vanitas actual love and happiness, while Noe's was focusing on voicing his hatred and distaste for (pieces of) Vanitas.

Then there's the whole blood sucking thing, which is influenced by Noe's ability, but that's also sort of the point in the ship? Like, he's willing to give his blood up to Jeanne all of the time because at that point he considers it a one-sided affair where his feelings aren't in it (aside from the one romantic-y bite after Chloe), but because Noe can see into his memories with his ability he refuses Noe. It's a great piece to show the depth that exists with Vanitas and Noe vs the distance that Vanitas attempts to keep with Jeanne.

Now personally, maybe a bit of a hot take, but I think how they do the relationships, the Noe x Vanitas ship makes more sense because Vanitas is not the one that's initiated it. Vanitas talks about how he cannot love someone that does not hate him earlier on in the series, and while it's not quite true, I think it's an example of how a relationship with Vanitas should be approached, if that makes sense. If Vanitas is the one to initiate it, it's sort of a red flag (though Jeanne can just steamroll those red flags). So, having Noe initiate it puts Vanitas on his back foot and off his game to force him into points like the final episode did.

So, I might say I agree more with Noe x Vanitas? I think it's the better ship in terms of narrative, but I still do love Vanitas x Jeanne a great deal.

However, allow me to present the fresh hell that is my romantic chart for the series.

Death and trauma is a catalyst for romance in this series to almost a disturbing degree, so of course all the romantic affinities are all over the place. Anyways, allow me to begin.

Firstly, we have the line that exists with:

Domi loves -> Noe Loves -> Vanitas <- Jeanne Loves

But this is an odd one off the bat, because most likely, Vanitas does reciprocate the feelings of Noe, but not Jeanne.

Just take a look at the narrative. Vanitas promises to kill Jeanne (which is something that I believe will likely happen), while Noe is the one that is claimed to kill Vanitas in the end. The idea of killing a lover just immediately jumps out at you and continues with the theme of inverse with Noe and Jeanne.

Now, for the pieces that don't line up.

Vanitas doesn't reciprocate Jeanne's love because of her declaration of it. Straightforward and I'd already mentioned it. (though the questionable feelings that remained unaddressed through part 2 of the anime are there, there's just nothing to do with them yet aside from character analysis)

A new one though, which I think is very interesting is Noe's reasoning. Noe can't love Domi, plain and simple. He sees too much Louis in her. He simply can't love Domi because he can't see her.

Domi suffers from a similar issue. She can't see herself, so she loves Noe. He's her anchor in this life, the one thing that can still prove that she is Dominique De Sade, and not the brother that she looked up to.

Let's go further, what about Lucius loving Jeanne? Well, aside from it being a kid crush, I do think it has to do with his need to grow up quickly. He's in a position of power, and despite his ability is always looked down upon. Jeanne is the one that doesn't so of course the young boy loves her.

Speaking of younger characters, there's Mikhail. Despite Vanitas being a sibling, Mikhail sees them in a romantic context, viewing Noe directly as a rival and Vanitas as something to possess. I think in the context they see Noe as stealing their role as sibling, but due to their twisted version of it it comes off in the romantic sense. I really want to see more of Mikhail's character, because their romantic attachment to Vanitas is very interesting in how it plays somewhat similar to Jeanne's. Both see the character as their savior, but similar to when Jeanne first started voicing her romantic feelings, Vanitas treats it with more repulsion than acceptance.

Anyways, that was a bit of a heavy mess so how about a fun ship instead?

I'm a sucker for Roland and Olivier. That Golden Retriever and German Shepherd energy together is just much too fun for me. And the way they trust each other and work together consistently despite how much Olivier complains. It's just so great, and there's so much love from Roland but so much anxiety from Olivier. And they even go out to have little tea dates together and it's just so cute.

But yeah, to sum it up, if I had a gun to my head and was being forced to choose which ship was better, I'd probably say Noe x Vanitas. But on the low, I'm a bit of a sucker for toxic ships as well so Jeanne x Vanitas just gets me.

[moonstone27ls]

Creature Commandos last thoughts

Okay got to finally catch up and see the whole thing. I have thoughts(note not bad lol).... so spoiler warning...

Spoiler....

......

.............

...............................

warning............

......Last warning cause thats just it. Its been 7 eps not a whole 20 or whatever lol....

................................ .......................

.......The show was....

pretty good. As I've stated characters/animation and such were great.

I am glad its getting a second season. As for the finale itself... some thought it was underwhelming...

I think its partially true. Mostly because with the exception of Eric, and I guess maybe Weasel? Maybe.. I dunno Weasel's not my entire fav. I mean I like him more than Eric. But anyways I feel given how each of these characters have such a tragic background, I feel Nina didn't get as much time to shine.

I get it, this was for shock value and to impact us. But given how she's not often give as much time in my opinion. And we finally got her background, her death felt moot.

I did like the small obvious reference to Creature from the Black Lagoon.

I dunno considering how its become clear that while the others were did things... I think? I mean Phosphorus and GI fine. They're vague on what Bride did to get put in jail unless domestic disputes with Eric count as punishment.

But anyways point is Nina literally did NOTHING wrong other than exist. She's not even aggressive like Phosphorus, Weasel or Bride. She was just literally existing and was put into jai. So it felt a bit of a moot/even for a shock that her fight/and death with the Princess was just that.

Am very curious though what Bride's new teammates will be like. The batlady and I'm assuming a Mummy ripoff was shown?Lol love the King Shark cameo, hope he is a recurring character. Maybe Bride can use him to finally scare off Eric. Or at least put him in his place.

Yeah thats my a personal negative that Eric's still kicking. Am I shocked? Nah not really, just kinda hope this isn't going to be a pepe lepew thing were we're forced to watch Bride subjected to stalking. Again don't get me wrong I LIKE David Harbor. But his character is literally a stalker.

Maybe they're playing it off for laughs. But again a STALKER and we can't shrug off and go "Oh they don't know anybetter". The show confirmed it for us, its not fan theories. Eric's been told no. Bride sees him as a stalker. So unless they plan to re-educate him next year, nah I don't really want him around.

Does that mean I'm shipping Bride with anyone? Well aside Nina, not really. I think her literal immortal stalker and his behavior made it clear its hard for Bride to have a relationship. Because he probably scares them/beats them off or literally kills them.

I did like that she and Phosphorus might be developing a friendship. Its not a perfect one, at most Archer/Lana-ish? friendship without the screwing lol.

Anything else... only that I wish I could they could have shown Flag's reaction (if he's conscious) when they revealed Circe was right. It just kinda was PLAINLY obvious this was the truth about the Princess. Why? Well for one thing the theme of giving the monsters humanity more than the people. It felt it was gonna show "oh she's more a monster than the actual monsters"(again not counting Eric 8B).

Though personal thought.. sometimes I wonder if (again considering the royal family is clearly incestous) did the Princess change her hair to get Weasel's trust. Probably not but heh I dunno she did a lot of report/spying on the others.

I also question if Alexei was in on her plans for world domination/murder plot, etc. I think the blonde knight was, you don't spy over a prophecy for nothing 8B.

But whatever don't really care. I do wonder if that country will make a roundabout in future eps. Cause there's always a ripple effect on removing a leader... though technically she wasn't the true leader? So who cares.

Anyways sorry got sidetracked. Point is... personally if I were Waller and if the Bride(I'm assuming she explained off screen) the real thing and Circe being right to Waller and John. ....... I'd smack Flag on the back of the head for being the STUPIDEST agent. For two main reasons, one he let his hormones dictate a mission and thus put them in harms way.

Two, lets put aside the fact Bride is a prisoner/monster, whether I'm suppose to call her an agent or a soldier, I dunno. Gonna pick soldier. As a female soldier, Flag put her in danger by literally running his mouth to Eric and revealed her whereabouts.

I mean yes show/or mission was crunched on time. But still for all that "lets get our facts straight" . He didn't with Bride. If that had been a real female soldier he put her life on the line.

Though I do admit a small maybe note? is I'm surprised neither Waller nor Flag thought to question when was the Professor murdered. They just assumed its Circe. Neither tried to do forensics for timing . Because yea that was clearly where the plan fell apart. Clayface arrived late to murder her.

Anything else... uhh... some on youtube already still think its gonna happen regardless of Bride's actions. Uh.. I don't think so unless they go with several comic tropes. One twin, shocker pft. Clone or Lazarus pit... but don't see that either.

If by some chance they do that "bring back a dead character" trope. i would hope it'd be Nina and not the Princess.

[the-world-annealing]

Aside from all the obvious takeaways as regards predstrogen (it should be allowed to make cartoony hardly-even death threats, ban processes should be more transparent, mass reporting is too easy, the ban system punishes long-running popular blogs specifically, it's just stupid to imply that Every Single Picture on a banned blog ran afoul of community guidelines), I think there's two actually interesting takes to make.

You can have perfectly unbiased and objective standards that will still end up disproportionally targeting oppressed people, simply because stress of online harassment + frustration with moderation for not fixing the online harassment leads to exactly the sort of situation we saw here.

Expecting more moderation, or better moderation, or more transparent moderation to fix harassment slash Get The Nazis Off The Site was never really a reasonable hope (and definitely isn't now). Tumblr lets you make infinite accounts, automated flags don't work, there's no business model that can fund a huge reviewer team, at some point you just have to bite the demoderation bullet and go 'alright, what do we at minimum need to keep the app listed and the gore avoidable'.

Anyway I made a post with a general gist of "either make a site text-only or make it impossible to see things you did not specifically ask for" a bit ago, that feels like it holds up.

[cyberneticatoms]

no way is that MERCURY MIDWINTER..they’re a 32 year-old HUMAN notoriously known for being ARROGANT & RASH but there are some people who have seen them being QUICK-THINKING & DUTY-BOUND. if you ask me, they remind me a lot of being handed a folded flag, the smell of gunpowder, and driving so fast you’re pressed against your seat, but that could just be because they’re considered the TROUBLED, BUT CUTE around town. just keep an eye on them  &  see if their true colors shine through..

↳ 𝚀𝚄𝙸𝙲𝙺 𝙵𝙰𝙲𝚃𝚂

NAME: Mercury Damon Midwinter NICKNAMES: Merc (friends only) DATE OF BIRTH: November 10th (32) HEIGHT: 5'9 AFFILIATION: Skyport Mafia OCCUPATION: Delivery Driver at The Floral Dilemma / Private Driver for the Skyport Mafia FACECLAIM: Taron Egerton

TW: death

↳ 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺𝙶𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳

❖ Mercury was the second born son of a normal middle class family, his older brother was the golden child. He was the accidental baby, chasing after his older brother for attention. Most of the time his parents pushed him aside in favor of his older brother. ❖ His brother though seemed to enjoy having him around, bringing him along despite their parents protests. As he grew older, he started resenting him more and more. Constantly being compared to him, either he met expectations by doing as well or he failed to meet them all together. ❖ Like their father his brother joined the military, moving through the ranks at a rapid pace. The expectation was Mercury would eventually enlist, something he dreaded knowing it just be another way the two would be compared. ❖ He'd started acting out in school, if he wasn't going to be famous like his brother he'd be infamous. His behavior only got worse after his brother died on duty. His parents turned the house practically into a shrine to his brother. ❖ Eventually running away from home, tired of missing his brother and tired over how obvious his parents were about which son they wished they'd lost instead. ❖ It didn't take him long to find himself in DFW, eventually being dragged to the Skyport Mafia after managing to carjack one of the Capo Turbo's cars. ❖ He didn't really have any options other than to join, working under Turbo. Splitting his time between being a proper soldier for the Mafia and annoying the hell out of his new boss. ❖ This is also how he met one of the other soldiers, called Umbra, the two starting off with antagonistic relationship eventually into one of mutual respect. With them nominating him to be the one to watch out for the Underboss' younger sister, having a proper job as a delivery driver. ❖ Essie was sweet and cute, despite how bad of an idea of it was, the two were flirting during their shifts and hanging out outside of work. Conflicted when he realized he had feeling for her and Umbra, eventually confessing first to Umbra. ❖ Which is how he found out the big secret, after Umbra stopped laughing, that they and Essie were one and the same. With the way things were in made more sense to publicly only date Essie, while continuing a platonic work relationship when she was Umbra. ❖ He's fairly happy with how his life ended up, even if he sometimes wonder what his brother would think about it all.

↳ 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝙲

• Has a few cybernetic enhancements, mostly designed to improve his reflexes.

[hamliet]

Warning: Untamed spoilers!

Okay so, I finished the Untamed drama a couple of weeks ago, and I haven’t been able to think of much since. I loved it, but I also have issues with it (it’s probably because I tend to take this stuff wayyy too seriously, which I am sure you can tell by this very long message, lol). I want to read the novel, but I’m worried I will have the same issues and will be frustrated all over again. I came across your Tumblr and I wondered if you might have some insight?

The thing that worries me is the whole moral ambiguity theme and feeling conflicted about Wei Wuxian as a character. I’m kind of embarrassed to say this cause usually I’m the one arguing for more complex, multi-dimensional characters. Irl I’m always telling people to try to see things from someone else’s perspective, to think about the other side. So… I ought to like this… But I guess I was just really enjoying WWX as an uncomplicated hero/underdog, fighting against the man. I loved how self-sacrificing he was, how committed to doing the right thing no matter the cost. That kind of trope really gets me. It made me want to go protest in front of an oil company or something. I really had no clue that he was anything other than a simple good guy, except for Lan Zhan repeatedly warning him about using the black magic—which admittedly was kind of a red flag… (Whenever anyone says “I can control it! This extremely powerful weapon definitely won’t be used for evil!” that’s never a good sign.)

But, black magic aside, when his sister and Jin Zixuan died, I was really thrown off-balance. It really seemed like it was his fault (at least in part). I know the drama tried to blame everything on Jin Guangyao, but I’ve been told in the novel he’s more directly responsible, which honestly didn’t really surprise me, because blaming Jin Guangyao did seem kind of like an afterthought. It didn’t really fit the tone or theme of the story.

The thing is, having him (directly or indirectly) cause the deaths of two important main characters seems to imply that he had made some mistake—that we should be critical of him in some way. Or else, why would that have to happen? I know Chinese authors love angst, but if main characters have to die for the sake of drama, why not have them die at the hands of an obvious villain? The fact that WWX was involved in their deaths makes it seem like he did something wrong. But I didn’t really understand what. What exactly was his tragic flaw? That he was trying too hard to play hero? That he messed around with the dark magic and couldn’t control it? He was too proud, too overconfident? For me, the takeaway wasn’t really clear.  

As I said, I am okay with moral ambiguity. But WWX is different in that what is attractive about him IS his goodness, his selflessness, his willingness to sacrifice everything to do what is right. That’s why I loved him so much. But, by making him morally ambiguous, it kind of takes away from that. It almost seems like the author is criticizing those traits? Are those traits bad? I mean, I guess sometimes they can be. In my own life there are times I have tried to play hero, and as a result have screwed things up. But that seems like a surprising message for a drama like this. Or is it just that life is messy and even when you try to do the right thing sometimes it doesn’t work out? I didn't get the message.

And it was kind of painfully disappointing because I loved WWX so much! For his goodness. I almost feel more ready to forgive Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang for their crimes because, in some way, I don’t hold them to the same moral standard. Their goodness wasn’t what appealed to me about them. I feel like it’s very confusing to have a story all about moral ambiguity in a character who seems to be trying so hard to be good.

And then, when I talked to other Untamed/MDZS fans about this, and asked if the novel is more clear about this stuff than the drama, they were all like: “Oh, WWX is not morally ambiguous! He was just forced into a bad situation by the REAL bad guys! Only people who didn’t know him thought that he was morally ambiguous.”

Which just made me more confused. It’s like, if we are just supposed to love WWX and not feel conflicted at all about his actions, then why have him kill two main characters? And why keep hammering home the theme of moral ambiguity, which the drama did A LOT. (I mean they talked about it many times. It’s even in the lyrics to the song!)

And I was conflicted about WWX after the deaths. I felt like, after Jin Zixuan died, WWX should have realized his mistake for cultivating the black magic and have tried to get rid of it or something. But instead, he just goes back to argue with everyone and defend himself, starting the fight that eventually killed his sister. In the drama, he doesn’t really express regret about any of that, just sadness for what happened. He apologizes to Jin Ling for his comments about him lacking “maternal education,” but he doesn’t apologize for indirectly killing his father. It seems like the creators of the drama don’t really blame him either, and we are just supposed to blame the Jin clan and Jin Guangyao. But again, if we’re not supposed to blame him, why have him seem even partially responsible for those deaths? And why keep mentioning the theme of moral ambiguity?

I’m okay with redemption, but part of redemption is acknowledging that someone did something wrong. It seems like Untamed wants to have a story about redemption without actually recognizing his part in everything. Anyways, I know the drama really fell short in explaining a lot of things that were part of the novel. I wonder if you think the novel will explain everything clearly and all my concerns will turn out to be nothing? Or if the novel is similar enough that I might have the same reaction? I know I should just read it for myself, but it’s really long and I’m scared of disappointment 😅. I also told myself I would wait to read the novel until I deal with some things in real life, because I know that once I start reading I will not be able to think about anything else. As you can see, I am already not thinking about anything else and I should probably just read it, sighhh.

Anyways, thank you so much for kindly reading this very long rant. It is greatly appreciated. ❤❤

Hi! No worries about spoilers, I watched it long ago :D

In short: I think you would like the novel.

See, apparently protagonists aren't really allowed to be that morally complex or gray in the same way they can be in a novel, leading to all sorts of mishandlings and even fumblings of different elements of the adaptation. It comes across as contradictory in the drama because it is contradictory; they're telling you WWX is morally perfect, but he is demonstrably not, and fans of the drama kind of gobbled that up at the expense of the novel's characterization. Which is a shame, because the novel is so much more thematically rich. I mean, I think The Untamed adaptors did the best they could with the circumstances they had, but the novel is so much more complete and thematically tight, if that makes sense. (It's actually one of the few novels in existence that I can say truly milks every drop of potential from every possible character, situation, and theme.)

To kind of demonstrate what's different about the novel, I'll answer some more specific questions below:

why not have them die at the hands of an obvious villain?

So the funny thing is that the premise of the novel is that they are searching for a villain (because society is always searching for a villain), only to realize there is no villain at all. WWX is one of the few characters who truly realizes this in the end and has compassion for JGY. WWX is a good boy.

As I said, I am okay with moral ambiguity. But WWX is different in that what is attractive about him IS his goodness, his selflessness, his willingness to sacrifice everything to do what is right. That’s why I loved him so much

Alas, so this is where I'm going to try to explain that while it might sound like I'm saying the novel might be less appealing to you, I actually don't think it would be!

WWX is a complex character, and admittedly no one in the novel is black or white, good or bad. Yet, the traits of his commitment to doing what he thinks is right, as shown in the show, are still very present. WWX is very pure of heart in the novel; he just also is very human.

Honestly, I'd say that WWX is a perfect idealist in the novel. His ideals are good, too. There just sometimes are not good or right options to choose from because their world is so messed up (society is the real villain, so the villain is simultaneously everyone and no one); sometimes it's levels of wrong to choose from. Also, as an idealist, when his loved ones die because of him (which does happen even more directly in the novel than in the show), he sinks into despair and gives up on everything, even goodness, briefly, which is what leads to the massacre he's known for committing and also his own death. But when he wakes up resurrected as Mo Xuanyu and gets another chance, he's still idealistic and hopeful enough to take it; he's just a little wiser about his limits this time.

His goodness and his love with LWJ (a societally scandalous relationship) offer society a glimmer of hope to change the entire world from monster to human--that's the point of the novel! So if you think of him as a beacon of light, you're in luck.

“Oh, WWX is not morally ambiguous! He was just forced into a bad situation by the REAL bad guys! Only people who didn’t know him thought that he was morally ambiguous.” Which just made me more confused. It’s like, if we are just supposed to love WWX and not feel conflicted at all about his actions, then why have him kill two main characters?

Ex-frickin-actly. You can blame censorship for this!

It seems like Untamed wants to have a story about redemption without actually recognizing his part in everything.

Again, I applaud your point because this is exactly the thematic contradiction that the censorship created. Said contradiction doesn't exist in the novel.

Anyways, if you do end up reading it, I'd love to hear from you!

[acourtofthought]

You know why I'm confident Elain and Lucien are endgame, aside from the obvious. (We know how the mate bond works)

SJM made a conscious decision to change Lucien's mate from Nesta to Elain when she realized how bad those two would be. She decided Elain was BEST AND BETTER SUITED for Lucien and Cassian for Nesta. She wanted them happy. The journey to endgame doesn't matter, she's already said she likes to put her characters through hell before HEA, and let's be real, Cassian and Lucien (more so Lucien) went through HELL, Cassian only suspected Nesta was his mate and could do nothing as she drank herself to oblivion, hurl insults at him and sleep with other men. Lucien knows and has to deal with his own guilt, wondering if maybe he had known sooner he was destined for another that Jesminda would be alive, while also fighting his instincts for Elain. It's all part of Sarah's plan that she literally laid out for us when she mated them, did she not say she'd set up tension? ARE WE NOT TRACKING TOWARDS IT. It's called storytelling, lol. Elain and Lucien jumping into each others arms was never going to be believable, and besides, SJM said one she likes for her FMC to explore before settling. That's literally all Elriel is, a distraction. It wouldn't have been hard for Sarah to make Elriel true mates, even have Mor and Grayson as roadblocks to overcome, but nope.

Elriels can stalk and harass and push their narrative all day, I could care less, I'm not taking their intrepertation of the text serious OVER THE WORDS THAT HAVE COME FROM SARAH HERSELF IN INTERVIEWS. Who we all know included Elucien in headcanon vacations as well, don't recall her saying Elain and Az 🤭🤣

At least Eluciens aren't in SJMs comments leaving death threats and tweeting that they will kill themselves if she doesn't make Elriel endgame, or literally trying to blackmail BB, when HOSAB leaks came out they continued to tweet at BB to confirm Elriel is endgame or they wouldn't stop sharing the leaks online. DESPARATION - if that's the behavior they have to resort to. Also, really proves they know deep down Elriel was a red herring all along and they are desperate for SJM to change her mind, so resorting to threats is all they have. Including bullying and harassing the fandom, I think the truly believe if Elriel is "popular" SJM will think to herself "oh, you know what, let's me prioritize Elriel" please.

This isn't SJM first rodeo with warships, people argued Chaol and Celena would end up together, the Rowan hate was real. Celeana and Chaol had a legit relationship, got to know one another, slept together, and still were not endgame due to the same red flags Elriels has, same with Feyre and Tamlin, you should've seen the Tamlin stans back then. Some are still around and not very nice people, they are bitter. I imagine the same will be said of Elriels, when their ship is confirmed good and dead they will cry fanservice and or become antis. I just hope the fandom ignores them like we do the other antis now. My point, Sarah and her team have been through this before and it didn't matter to her if Tamlin or Chaol stans were hurt, she writes what her heart desires. These are her characters after, she knows the best and in ways we are readers never will, because we aren't in her head.

If they have been nicer, maybe I'd feel sorry for them. I don't after watching for years the harassment and disgusting behavior againts Eluciens.

Also, HAHAHAHAH that SJM introduced a new female character to Azriels story, the mate parallels are real and they hate it so much they villianized a very sweet character, as an Elucien, same shit, new character to hate, Lucien was the villain for years. But Gwynriels have what Elriels want, a real possibility of a mating bond and if that isn't further proof Elriel was never intended as engame, I don't know what is. 😂🤭

And the first time SJM ever started to tease Azriels LI was during ACOSF, funny she never did prior when Elain had been around since book 1. It's almost as if a new character promoted SJM excitment for Azriels story. I wonder who that could be??

Elain will be with her sunshine in the end. ☀️

I'm so sorry for how long it took me to respond. I was slowly moving through anons prior to Elucien week then sort of stopped all together during that week so we could all focus on the prompts. I think a lot of what you said is much of what the Elucien / Gwynriel fandom feels. I do understand why the Elain and Az situation is confusing for some people because they are two pretty major characters and it is strange to introduce him as a LI after Elain finds out she has a mate only to have it fizzle. But SJM hasn't shied away from two guys vying for the same girl when you consider the history between Dorian / Chaol / Aelin, which you touched on. She was willing to get messy and create tension / jealousy between the two males though I don't think she's ever done it in reverse (two females fighting over a male). And though Aelin didn't end up with either, there was a lot of confusion as to who she was going to end up with. So based on that, it's not that strange for Az to be thrown into the Elain / Lucien mix especially when we couldn't have Elucien getting together all the way back in ACOMAF. To me, he's been a red herring, trying to throw us off the "will they / wont' they" track because Elucien is her first couple to be revealed as mates straight away and it doesn't make for very good storytelling to make it obvious they'll end up together. This series has been building for a long time and while I realize her recent books do move things in a certain direction, that doesn't mean the things she's said in the past are always irrelevant. For example, during the same interview she realized Elucien's bond took her by surprise, she also said the moment Nesta and Cassian sat down at the table together, that was it for them. That they were at one another's throats in the best way possible. But ACOFAS and the start of SF didn't really show us that they were "IT" for one another. Nesta chose to sleep with other males over Cassian, he told her to leave the NC, he told her everyone hated her, she refused his gift and told her to leave him alone. None of that mattered because they still ended up together, exactly like SJM told us in 2015 / 2016. So there's no reason to assume with any sort of confidence that Elucien is any different. An author could change her mind yet again but does anyone really see it happening that way? "Nesta and Lucien will be together." "Wait, they would cause one another too much pain so I'm scrapping that idea." "Wow! I never expected that! My character spoke to me and surprised both Lucien and I and Elain is the one for him! While he and Nesta would have made one another's wounds worse, I don't see that happening with Elain and Lucien" "No, no. actually, Lucien shouldn't be with Elain or Nesta. I think Elain will be with Az instead!" I think most times when a ship falls apart for an author it's because someone else makes sense to them. Not a ship falls apart because THAT character makes better sense but that falls apart because a THIRD character makes better sense. I think there is a lot of toxicity from both sides of the fandom but I will say, for the most part, I think Eluciens and Gwynriels have developed certain behaviors as a defense mechanism to E/riels. It's not necessarily the best way to deal with things however I do think people can only take so much before they feel like they need to fight back in some way. At some point, a person can only take so many taunts and being told their stupid, misogynists, abuse apologists, etc. before they do stand up for themselves which the other side likes to then play victim too. I just look forward to the day where we all get confirmation so we can enjoy the series for what it actually is rather than what we imagine it will be.

[rescuefield-a]

Is Neil really that bad for Claire tho?

i... can't tell if this is a crack ask or not lmao so i will give a few reasons anyway:

- first of all neil is even older than chris, and even though he and claire both in their 30s we can assume that neil has been leading the ngo for a whole lot longer than 2011 ( he moved after fbc was disbanded so he was around at least since 2004-2005 ) and had a very unprofessional relationship with claire specifically. i think lure her closer to him was always part of the plan but at some point it was just a somewhat real relationship kept hush from HR ( claire never says he's her boyfriend in front of any of the other terrasave members for instance, but every now and then she says stuff that earn some bombastic side eyes AT IT SHOULD )

- claire undermines his leadership in so many ways and while he never speaks on it he seems kinda annoyed. he pulls her aside in a corner to ask if she has any information on stuff he knows nothing about even though he's the leader of the organization and should have direct contact with washington. even on sejm island with all his little obstacles and shit, claire always comes through and rises above. the fact that he thought he could make deals with alex wesker and walk away with no repercussion already says everything about he's not as cut to be a leader as the people at terrasave thought and the other organizations probably caught on that too

- in the hq party scene claire looks slightly exhausted and miserable, and sure it might just be that the years of fighting are catching up on her but considering her last appearance before this whole ordeal is supposedly infinite darkness, the contrast is so stark. i might be biased on this but i will still blame it on neil lmao

- neil has ALWAYS done weird shit that people let slide in favour of keeping him as their leader. claire herself says that sometimes she doesn't understand him and what he does but he's just like that so yeah, which is bullshit excuse for her pretending not to see all the red flags leading to his betrayal. her judgement was clouded by many factors but ultimately being as close as they were, the fact that she never thought to investigate on him is disappointing ( for her ). at least considering her dating record, you know

- as far as affection and love go, at the end of the day neil was okay with claire dying on that island. or maybe he thought natalia wouldn't have worked and she would have been next. that rises a point of what would have happened next like, was he going to use uroboros and live forever with claire AND alex? he miscalculated everything clearly. the only moment he showed an ounce of affection to her when he tried to reach for her face while transforming just to shove her away ( a direct parallel to CV though steve did it better in my opinion )

- he proves to not know her at all by suggesting for them to rule together while turning into a BOW. claire had already checked out of their relationship the moment she saw alex infect him "as punishment", and after that things only got worse. he tried to kill moira which like, is also a big no no to claire for obvious reasons. claire is not power hungry, and fighting bioterrorism with BOWs is just not something she's interested in. her i love you to death switch apparently turns off so fast when she's not met with the idea of the relationship that lives in her head, we've seen it happen before so again it was naive of neil to even suggest that since she basically almost ended a years long friendship for similar reasons ( but that's a whole other story i think i have given enough reasons lol )