#like not because im Trying to wear stuff even though it feels wrong. more like i can't figure out what would feel right
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unnonexistence · 5 months ago
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does anyone else have a weird fashion mismatch between what they think they like and what they actually like wearing?? half my style icons wear, like, waistcoats and wool trousers, but i'm usually at my most comfortable dressed like a bug type pokemon trainer. or a camp counselor.
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atrirose · 9 months ago
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𝒥 : PLACES THEY LOVE TO KISS — enha
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はい bf!enha x f!r . . . 🍵 warning. kissing duh ! + FLUFF ★ seiu msg: wanna get back on to writing stuff soon in the mean time enjoy this! rbs/feedbacks are appreciated
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— HEESEUNG LEE
heeseung loves kissing your neck because he knows it gets you hot and bothered, he loves the sudden shocked squeak you let out when he random kisses your neck, he came behind you, gracing his cold lips on your neck “AH what’s wrong with you seung” you turned towards him, your hand on the place he kissed “my lips are cold, i ate ice cream” he said pulling you back “so?”
“so i gotta warm them up” he said as he bit ur neck lightly, kissing it, his breath leaving tingling feels down your spine, something about neck kisses just makes you feel light headed “i know you love it princess” he whispered, his hands roaming around your body as he blabbers like a loser.
— JAY PARK
jay loves kissing your lips, though it very common but for him it is special, he love the feeling of his lips against yours, especially after you put on lipgloss or lipstick “jayyyy i just put it on, look it’s all smeared and on your lips too” you said frustrated as you try to fix your lipstick, “it’s a nice colour i like it on you” he said snaking his hands again around your waist as he turns you around “doesn’t give you an excuse to ruin it, and we have to go or else we will be late to the party” you said resisting his touch as he leaned over again.
“doesn’t matter” he said as his lips moved against yours, his hands around you waist, him teasing your lips by lightly nipping on it, your hands in his hair tousling it.
“we got stuck in the traffic sorry” he said to his friend as you shot him glares, did i forget to tell you that he loves kissing you when you are mad at him? works like a charm, all the anger goes poof.
— JAKE SIM
jake loves to nom on your cheeks , he says it’s like bread. he loves to peck your cheeks at any given moment, or just have his face smooshed by yours, if he could he could live under your skin. jake likes to bite your cheeks while pecking them despite being warned a hundred times to not, but how can you resist his puppy eyes.
sometimes he get this kissing aggression towards you where he just keep on kissing and giggling as you try to escape him “jake too much” you say as he kissed you all over your face, “not enough” he said as he continues smooching your cheeks, biting them “nom, you taste like strawberries” jake hugs you as he calms down, cuddling you.
— SUNGHOON PARK
he loves collarbone kisses, loves to randomly feather kisses around your collarbone while cuddling, exact reason that despite being so tall he like you be a small spoon most of the times, likes to be a princess “hoon it tickles” you said as he pressed kisses, he loves when you wear off shoulder as he gives him easy excess but if not then he just pulls the piece of clothing you are wearing to expose your collarbone, now that has gotten him in trouble when he accidentally rip your clothing’s neckline but that obviously never stopped him.
“i will get you more mmm” he said as he kept kissing you, he loves to inhale the soft and mild scent of your perfume.
— SUNOO KIM
loves to kiss your forehead, to appreciate even the smallest of things you do for him, while that’s very sweet of him and you love it with all your heart, there are times when he likes to annoy you by kissing you after applying your lip tint so now you have kiss mark on your forehead, or kissing it and then telling how small you are.
towers over you sometimes so you look up at him and he can kiss your forehead.
“i got nice scores this time” you told sunoo as he smiles and kisses you forehead “im proud of you love”
— JUNGWON YANG
he likes to kiss your nose, just a little boop to make you laugh, you talking about your day? oh he is so in love, boop, you are cooking? he is drawn in by your beauty, boop, you are just laying around? you look so cute, he can’t believe you are his, boop.
“why do you like kissing my nose so much” he looks at you as he smiles, eyes closing like a cat as he kisses your nose “because you are cute” it’s a way he expresses his love, it’s his way of saying he treasures you and a simple expression of his limitless love for you
— RIKI NISHIMURA
he loves to bury his face in your neck after a long day and kiss your shoulders, just like sunghoon he loves when you wear off shoulder dress or else he just pulls on them, but lucky for him you wear his oversized hoodies all the time so it’s easy to gain excess, sometimes it’s hard to express who he feels, or how much he loves you so he just kisses your shoulder and hope you understand his attempt to say ‘i love you’s’.
“what’s wrong baby” you asked as you played with hair as he buried his face in the crook of your neck “just tired” he said nuzzling “aww poor baby” you said as you kissed his head “you better not tell how act with you” he warned you still kissing your shoulders.
“like a baby? AHH-” your giggles turned into sudden shock as he bites you “oh that left a mark” you smacked him with a pillow as he laughed and dodged it “not tired anymore huh?” you said pouting moving away from him just to get pulled back to his lap “i am” he pecked you “meanie” he snicked at your pouty lips before kissing it.
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norikuna · 2 months ago
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GREEDY — gojo satoru minors dni
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prologue. → pretty, prodigal, and teasing. how far can you push your former teacher before he snaps? gojo's about this 🤏 close from releasing a hollow purple on the world.
pairing. gojo satoru x afab!reader
warnings+. màstúrbation (m.) and rough sèx, creaḿpie. some angst/doubt. angsty love confession before gojo póunds reader into the mattress. incorrect use of reversed curse technique. arguments and stuff. description of injuries. def mean!gojo a bit and he's got vampire tendencies.
reader is of legal age (implied to be 19-20) and gojo is 28 so age gap!romance. obsessed!gojo and popular girl!reader trope. gojo is absolutely a mess in this, and reader is described as wearing short skirts, and wearing makeup.
rather questionable ethics and dynamics (teacher/former student) but rest assured its clear that his feelings are pretty recent. reader has him twirled and whipped around her fingers. reader is also def a baddie and ambiguously bi.
word count. 8.7k words im mad actually. this was meant to be headcanons song inspiration. greedy — tate mcrae
a/n. this is was gonna be from reader's pov but i thought it would be more fun from gojo's 🙂‍↔️
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mp3. i see you eyeing me down, but you'll never know much past my name. or how i'm running this room, but i'm still half your age. yeah, you're looking at me like i'm some sweet escape 😛
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gojo satoru was not a weak man, no. he knew that he was an anomaly of nature, an unstoppable power that could reduce enemies to dust and make entire clans crumble with nothing more than a flick of his wrists.
so how was it, that when it came to you, his resolve was paper-thin?
every time your open gaze met his, every time you brushed past him, every time your presence filled the space around his infinity, gojo felt something inside him unravel. his breath would be caught in his chest, leaving his pulse to quicken and suddenly, all that strength and control would slip through his fingers.
gojo cursed himself for this, you see. he had never been one to lose control, but he was not quite sure when his entire body has started to betray him.
but no, fuck that, and he did his utter best to run his focus back onto the lesson at hand. unfortunately, the lesson at hand was with you. standing in front of him, arms slightly raised, palms out, and raising your brow as boredom passed over your face.
gojo cleared his throat, "your stance is good, but your cursed energy is all over the place. focus, breathe. centre yourself is what i'm saying," he instructed, but the words felt hollow as they passed through his lips.
unfairly, you're weren't the problem. he was. and now this was getting ridiculous. you had graduated not two, three years past? it would have been a disservice to still call you his student, but even as a mentee, you were still under his tutelage. and as recent as this immature infatuation was, this felt wrong.
but now you were frowning, starting to waver and the sharp, staccato tap of your heeled boot punctuated the wooden floor, click, click!
gojo looked to the sky, briefly, if to pray for patience and a calm of some sorts. he stepped forwards towards you, placing a hand on your waist to guide you into a better stance, and trying to ignore the way your skin felt warm underneath his fingers.
focus.
"don't let your body twist like that when you utilise your own cursed energy. keep it straight, balanced," he muttered, adjusting your posture slightly, hand on your spine — the heel of his palm pressing into a dent. a deity from the sky must have struck him with a cursed arrow, for his whole body was on fire.
because there you were, standing right in front of him, so close that gojo could feel the soft heat of your breath, the faint scent of a sweet perfume wafting off your skin, vanilla?
"you're not focused," gojo grimaced, though he wasn't sure if the rebuke was at himself, or at you — whose eyes widened briefly, and gojo tried not to recognise the curiosity and challenge that flashed across your face.
look at how she's staring at me. and gojo felt utterly ridiculous, and exposed, she knows. but instead of pulling away, you shifted ever so slightly towards him, your body arching as the barest brush of your breasts against his forearm had heat pulling through his body.
would you taste as sweet as you smelt? would you lean more into him if he asked?
he cleared his throat, "okay. relax, not every stance or position works for an individual. perhaps, you'll be able to focus better like this," and with his hand still on your waist, he pulled you into a swift spin. one that left your back pressed against the hard planes of the chest, and you facing the other wall.
you hummed, this time not in the way he wanted. your lips were lightly parted, and there was that soft sheen of gloss catching the light, making your lips look impossibly soft. gojo caught himself staring, wandering what it would be like to press his own mouth to yours, and whether you would squeal or moan.
still, if there was anything that gojo was good at, it was deflecting like a champ, "i think you're distracted," he laughed, low and amused, "is something making you lose focus?"
you tilted your head, and gojo didn't miss (nor did his heart or groin) that your gaze flickered to his mouth for the briefest second before meeting his eyes again, feigning innocence, "don't tell me you're underestimating me, sensei. because i'd hate to think you can't keep up?"
gojo bit back a grin at the obvious bait, "careful," brushing strands of white hair that had fallen into his face away, "if you get too cocky, you tend to miss danger. you start to ignore things that should be noticed."
your voice dropped to a droll whisper, eyes glinting, "you think i don't notice things? i'm aware of plenty."
gojo forced himself to focus, to ignore the way that your lashes flutter with unshakable composure. trying to regain control, or some semblance of mind, he started counting each individual lash painted dark with mascara, lingering on the outermost curls that framed your sharp eyes.
after a beat, he forced himself to break eye contact, "alright," he said, stepping back with a casual shrug that he hoped conveyed just how nonchalant he was, "we’ll call it a day here and continue training tomorrow."
"backing out already?" you teased, leaning in just a little, making him tense at the closeness.
gojo chuckled, feigning nonchalance. "for your sake. you may be powerful, but you have to pace yourself."
you shrugged, nodding, "i'm going out anyway this evening," you said, hopping back a step before bending down to gather your things. gojo politely averted his gaze, his heart hammering from your previous proximity, and desperately hoping to avoid a...reaction, that would be quite inconvenient, as wide and loose as his martial pants were. like a fuckin' school boy with a crush. gross.
but as you slung your pastel bag over your shoulder and straightened up, he couldn't help a quick glance, catching the small, coy glimmer in your eyes as you turned to leave.
gojo sighed, pulling up his blindfold once more, "have fun," he half-heartedly offered, but you were already out the door.
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the corridors were now empty, the clang of metal and chatter now silent, replaced with a quiet hum of the air conditioning. gojo wiped his face with the towel wrapped around his neck, the damp fabric clinging to his skin and the muscles in his arms and chest still warm from the intensity of training. his arms and chest glistened, the muscles warm and taut as he stretched, rolling his shoulders back with a low groan. exhaustion settled into him like a weight, each movement of his tired, bare torso slow and deliberate.
"oh, you're still here, sensei?"
gojo's eyes snapped open, drawn to the sound of your inquisitive voice. you stood in the doorway, framed by the dim light from the hallway, and he immediately felt a rush of heat flood his chest.
well, fuck, now his mouth was dry. clearly, your previous iteration of 'going out' was a bit more glamorous than you had led on, and he was certain his wandering eyes betrayed him as it flickered over your figure. it took a titan's strength to keep his eyes from trailing down your long legs, the way your dress hugged the swell of your chest, or over your glistening neck. there was a faint shimmer, a glitter of some sort? it coated your skin, and gojo wanted to lick it off with his tongue.
what? no. who said that?
he swallowed hard, forcing himself to keep his composure.
you scowled at his reaction, clearly mistaking his silence for distaste. "what? i did say i was going somewhere," you retorted, your tone sharp but amused. "i’m more than allowed to leave the campus grounds.”
"of course,” he replied, voice outstandingly steady but his mind still trailing after every curve, every detail that made you look...well...dangerous in the best way, "don't let me stop you. who's the lucky guy?"
you arched a brow, folding your arms over your chest, and now, gojo really did have to look away and pretend that he was busy with retying a dark piece of cloth over his eyes, "who said it was a guy?"
gojo thickly swallowed, wondering if he'd just made a colossal blunder with no return, "that's not what i meant." the words 'my bad' stuck in his throat as you laughed and sighed.
"joking, sorry. it's a guy, this time." now you were fiddling with your long nails, with a satisfying clack as they ran across each other.
"i hope he shows you a great time then," he offered, half-hearted, blasé.
you took a step into the room, and gojo didn't even need six eyes to know that your eyes were raking over his chest, "i'm sure he will," all sweetness and sugar, "i've been training so hard, i deserve it, don't i?"
the words hit him harder than he expected, and he had to remind himself — she's not yours, satoru. but that didn't stop the gruff irritation bubbling up.
"a real man should be taking you out on a date like this,” he said, his voice a bit too rough for his liking. "not some guy who’s probably just looking for a good time."
you scoffed lightly, rolling your eyes. "are you saying that there's someone else out there who can do a better job?" your tone was playful, but there was a challenge in it — an edge that made his heart skip once more, "sadly, there just aren't many who've handled me well."
he ignored your immature, faux pout, and ran a hand through damp, icy hair — ignoring how his temper flared, rearing its ugly head.
was this all on purpose? to toy with him?
"you want to be handled, sweetheart?" gojo's voice dropped a little lower, indulging your teasing, "i've seen you lose focus easily, you could easily break."
your lips creased up, painted a tempting shade of dried-blood red (what the fuck was wrong with him? was he now just a horny vampire?) as you purred, "i'd need some help testing out that theory." your expression was open just enough for him to see the tiniest flicker of something in your eyes — something that told him you were enjoying this far more than you should.
an invitation of sorts, he wondered. did you want him to move? to make a move? it wasn’t a secret that you had always been a popular student practically a legend, rumours swirling around you like wildfire — whispers of broken hearts and sweetened smiles that could captivate anyone in your path. he had never paid attention of course, gossip always ran wild among students and he discouraged such whispers of who-did-what, for a grade 1 curse would never indulge such behaviour before they would get torn to shreds.
and even now, long after graduation as you worked around your old alma mater, men and women — everyone swooned at the chance to speak with you, and yet, here you were, playing this dangerous game with him.
gojo scowled, trying to push past the desire building inside him, the urge to have you underneath him, right on this mat in the training room. "well, don’t hang around too long," he said, his tone sharp as a blade. "i’m sure your date is waiting. go have a good time."
invitation declined. the morally right thing to do. right?
he didn’t need to look to see the small sneer that curled at the corner of your lips, or the way it turned into a fleeting expression of annoyance. he could hear the click of your heels echo down the hallway as you sashayed out.
what the everlasting fuck was wrong with him?
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lo and behold, the great gojo satoru often found himself alone in his own private rooms. for 'the strongest' rarely had time to accommodate some other forms of company.
and frankly, he had no desire to do so now regardless. not when the echoes of your clicking heels still reverberated in his mind. the silence that echoed around him was heavy, suffocating and he was sure he looked erratic.
gojo ran a hand over his face, trying to shake the thought of you. but it was useless. his body was still on fire, the heat of jealousy smouldering in his chest, coiling in his gut like something alive, something dangerous. he had walked to the nearest chair and collapsed into it, his legs splayed wide apart as his shoulders slumped under the soft, amber glow of the setting sun that streamed through the windows. the sorcerer let his head fall back against the chair, eyes closed.
how absolutely ridiculous, he thought, running his fingers through his tousled hair. no, he just couldn't stop it. couldn't stop thinking about how badly he wanted you. wanted you to want him too. and now, with the way you’d left, with that knowing smile on your lips, all he could imagine was the man you were with now, the man who’d be holding the door open for you, who’d be pulling out your chair, whoever the hell he was.
maybe even a casual, non-sorcerer. some random guy that you had indulged because he was no threat. but he wouldn't be able to touch you, not in the way that you demanded. the man would laugh at your jokes, brush his hand against yours, but wouldn't be able to let a real smile bubble from your lips like satoru could.
and what would that man do next?
would he try to take you back to his place? some small poorly-lit apartment where he'd try to kiss you, to claim your lips without even pulling away for air. would you kiss him back, curling into his frame?
before gojo's even registered what he's doing, his own hand has found his hard cock. despite the tattle of assistance, and dreamy-eyed mongers, pleasure is rare for him. relief, even less so. his schedule just doesn't allow it, and so he oft find himself chasing some distant contentment like this, alone in his rooms.
but he squeezes at the wide hilt, at his base, pulling his hands up, upwards as his brows furrow under blindfold, and he tugs the offending fabric off, away from him, as laden balls smack against his wrist.
maybe the man would then trail his lips down your neck, maybe he'd try to slowly sink his teeth into delicate flesh, leaving blooming purple marks that wouldn't fade, not when gojo saw you tomorrow.
he's running his curled hand up towards the fat mushroom tip, almost glowing pink with heat and pre-cum that's leaving his hand slicked with faint moisture, "shit, that's it."
then what? he can imagine your teasing smile as you decide to take your pleasure as you see fit. how you'd suddenly push this faceless man off, and move so you're straddling him, letting his hands wander around the curve of your hips, digging into plush flesh.
now he's starting to pant, open-mouthed, "ah - fuck! wish i had you here, right here." gojo must be a madman, breathing out to the empty, open air.
but in his mind's eye, you're reaching behind your back to undo the zipper on your outstandingly tight dress, giving the faceless man a coy smile as you push the fabric of your dress down, letting your plentiful tits spill out and against the man's chest.
his wrist is moving faster now, and there's a cramp starting to build up as he pistons his hand over his stretched shaft, and one arm is thrown over his face — the soft hairs on his thick forearm tickling his face as he tries not to gasp or whine too loudly, but he's bucking his ups now, pretending that it's not his hand that he's spilling into, but your tight cunt. and later, he shudders and tenses up, with apologies whispered into the air, "look, look - shit, i'm sorry - i'm sorry. couldn't help it, fuck." and gojo's bitten his lips so hard that he's certain he's drawn blood, vibrant red blooming on pale, creamy skin.
and a lamp had exploded as he came. damn, he'd have to replace that.
you don't deserve someone like him, no. not when he's sitting here, absolutely filthy with thick, white seed entirely over his tense abdominal muscles and stiff hand. not when he's trying to catch his breath after imagining how snug your pussy would feel around him, and how you'd beg for him to give it to you harder.
you didn't deserve someone so messed up with guilt, with mistakes, with the kind of weight that made him too much for anyone, let alone someone like you. didn't you deserve better than a tortured man who couldn't control himself, better than an overzealous mentor who was supposed to keep his distance, to do what was right.
but that didn’t stop his thoughts from swirling, as he separated damp, thick thighs from the smooth surface of the chair, reaching for a tissue. he couldn’t help it. and it made him feel like a damn fool.
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the meeting room buzzed with tension, voices rising in sharp, clipped exchanges — some angry, some demanding and others clueless and questioning. gojo had woken up in a foul mood that morning, with some ill-gotten storm brewing beneath his chest. perhaps it was the thoughts of you that lingered from the night before, a gnawing jealously that left him feeling too tight in the stiffness of the uniform dress pants.
but he had forced himself to be dragged through this meeting, plastering a snarky light-hearted grin over his face as he leaned against the wall, letting the higher-ups argue themselves into oblivion.
amidst the storm of words, gojo's focus was nowhere near the mission being discussed. no, his attention was fixated entirely on you. you stood at the far end of the table, eyes flashing with ire as you tore into some pompous old fool who’d dared question your power. the others in the room shifted uncomfortably, deferring to you, as they often did, despite your youth. you had that rare combination of presence and bite that made people recoil back when you sunk your teeth into them, and this was not a knot gojo was interested in unraveling.
kojiro, one of the bumbling administrators, had turned his babbling attention to gojo, "you're still planning to face that curse head-on, gojo-san?" the poor man is wringing his hands at gojo's flat look (made all the more unreadable through a blindfold, satoru would wager), "don't you think it would be well - unwise? instead of expending your time and energy on one cursed spirit, you could handle five lesser ones. efficiency, you see."
gojo's gaze briefly flickers back to you, standing with your arms crossed as one hand fiddles with the end of your braid as your petal-pink lips scowl at some other official with words that don't fit his stature. your other hands keeps reaching around your neck, adjusting a plaid scarf over and over, like you're desparate to hide something under the fabric . well, fuck that.
"i'm aware of the risks," gojo turns his attention back to the matter, "but no one here has time for hesitation. if the curse is special grade, don't you at least think that delaying with lead to more destruction?"
"is it really the cursed spirit you’re worried about, takumi-san?" you asked, your voice low, the kind of voice that could make someone forget their own name.
gojo's gaze snapped to you from under the blindfold, but you weren’t looking at him, not even speaking at him. instead, you were locking eyes with one of the other sorcerers — takumi, a grade two with a shaggy mop of golden hair, one who had been a student alongside you and hardly subtle in his admiration for you.
gojo tries to hide a scoff at how takumi's eyes are wandering over you, ignoring the newpapers that have been flattened on the meeting table, with bold inked letters reading doom-portents such as 'unexplained explosion, 4 dead and 12 injured."
time and place, man.
"you don't think i can handle this mission. if you're worried about me, just say so," takumi's now leaning into you, even as gojo tries to train his ear on kojiro's economic-obsessed babble instead.
gojo can see your eyes flicker to the dastardly newspapers as well, clearly curling your lips at the dour news and takami's disastrous attempt at getting his hands under your skirt. but he also knows that sharp glint in your eyes, the one when you toy with those around you, to pull them in without ever committing to anything. clearly, you've decided to indulge this game.
"takumi," and you draw out the younger man's name, "shouldn't you bring more strength to the table? of course, i'm worried about a friend getting hurt. but even if you were stronger, or the strongest, a special grade curse could do some real damage."
and your eyes have flicked right towards gojo, raking over his frame leaning against the pale cream walls. he's glad for the blindfold, so you can't see how he scowls and furrows his thin brows at you, at your blatant hopes for a reaction from him. were you so unobservant that you did not know how much you bothered him?
the pointed sharpness in your words made takumi pause, and for just a moment, gojo could see the man’s grin falter. it was clear that you weren’t impressed by his attention, you had no need for his slimy attempts.
there was no mistake about it — this wasn’t just a flirtation. this was a game you played, and gojo was not only aware of it; he was caught in it. he tries not to feel irrationally angry, fuck, so much of his life revolves around his work, his job and now he can't even do that properly without feeling like you're using your long nails to dangle something in front of him, wanting to snap his teeth out and snatch it.
so you wanted him to see this. you wanted to claim that you could unravel the strongest sorcerer from the heavens to the earth below, to make him lose his composure. gojo feels as if there is crackling ozone in the air, and wonders dimly if the weather forecast predicted a rain storm for later today.
takumi, sensing the shift, finally backed off with a huff, but not before giving all around him a lingering look, as if it was their fault that you weren't interested.
"enough distractions," kojiro's interjected, raking a finger through a beard streaked with gray, and he's shooting a pointed look at you, snapping rose-pink gum, and takumi, shuffling with his hands in his pockets. "we're here to discuss the mission, not flirt." and then, he's off mumbling something about how this was why he hated having younger sorcerers join the meeting rooms.
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his ire only grew. gojo stood with his back against the wall, outside the meeting room, once everyone had left with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. you stood in front of him, your eyes flashing with anger, your chest rising and falling with each sharp breath.
"absolutely not," gojo stood his ground firmly, "no-one will let you go on this mission."
you stomped on the floor, once as your heels snapped an echo, "they will if you say so."
gojo stuffs his hands in his pockets, "who said that i would also allow you?"
you scoffed, folding your arms across your chest, mimicking his previous stance but with a clear defiance in your posture. "and why the hell not? i'm more than capable of handling it. it's my fucking choice, and how can extra help hurt?"
"enough!" gojo snapped, feeling a tense pain in between his eyes, "it's too dangerous. and you're too young -"
"too young!" you've interrupted him, "i'm not some helpless child, sensei. i'm a grade 1 sorcerer! one of the best, i don't need to be treated like i can't handle a mission."
"grade 1. not special-grade."
his eyes narrowed, his jaw tight. gojo could see the fury in your eyes, but there was something else there, something deeper, a vulnerability that he had seen before in students, some desire to prove themselves and be heaped with praise. he knew you were good, better than most — hell, better than many of the adults he’d seen. but this cursed spirit was unlike anything you’d faced before. and yet, here you were, challenging him, pushing him, daring him to stop you.
"you don’t get it," he muttered, the words slipping from his mouth before he could stop them. "you think you’re invincible, but you’re not. you're too reckless."
"reckless!" now you had taken a step towards him, narrowing the space between you both. your eyes were fierce now, but there was something else in them — a spark of hurt that made his chest tighten, and gojo began to wander where this would start spiral. "i’m not reckless. i know exactly what i’m doing. the only reckless thing here is you thinking you have the right to control my every move."
"i'm the one in charge here," he said, his voice hoarse, the words coming out sharper than he intended. "and i'm telling you now, you’re not going. you’re not ready for this. don't involve the higher-ups in this."
you were so close now, just inches apart. his eyes flicked to your lips, with the arch of a blooming flower kissed by the sun, for a brief moment, and then back up to your face, where anger and frustration mixed with something else — a challenge.
"maybe that’s the problem," you said, your voice quieter now, but still holding an edge. "you think i'm still some child who needs you to tell me what to do. maybe you just don’t want me to outshine you."
the words are ridiculous, and he can see by the mild quiver as your throat bobs that you don't mean what you say. it takes a rare type of courage to tell the first person in four hundred years to be born with limitless and six eyes, that he could be outshined. but satoru doesn't say a word to rebuke your obvious and false bait.
your body is so close now that gojo could feel the heat of your skin, your breath brushing against his. he could smell the faint sweetness of vanilla again in the air mingled with fresh, crisp apples, could see the subtle shine of your lip gloss catching the light. it was a testament to his spirit, he thinks, that he did not lean in straight away and touch his mouth to yours in this scenario that certainly did not warrant it.
"you want me to stop you that badly?" he hissed, his voice a mix of frustration and something darker, that had not yet snapped. "is that what this is? a game? a way for you to get my attention? to see how far you can push me before i do snap?"
now he's got your tongue, and your expression has flickered for a brief moment before schooling into an impassive mask, and gojo briefly wanders if he's crossed an awful line and misinterpreted everything. if they're gonna stick a white dunce hat on his head and parade him through the streets of outer tokyo for being an assuming fool.
but then you've stepped even closer, your breath coming faster, the weight of your chest almost pressed against his, and gojo doesn't move and he's briefly aware that he's let his infinity down.
"partly, you know it's not just about you though. i do want to go on this mission, but -" you tilt your head and look right up at him, and the older man's head starts to reel from the fact that he was right all along, "i do want to see how far you can go before you snap."
his heart pounded, and for a moment, everything went still. all the tension, all the heat, the anger, and the desire — everything seemed to converge in the space between you. gojo's hand twitched, aching to touch you, but he held himself back, his muscles straining with the effort.
"stop,” he rasped, barely able to get the word out. "you don’t know what you’re doing, or what you're asking for."
he's never felt quite like this before, breathless as if the air has been punched out of his lungs. all gojo could think was how much he wanted to pull you closer, to kiss you until there was nothing left between you.
but he couldn’t.
he puts his hands on your shoulders, fingers digging into the expensive fabric of your top, and gently pushes you away.
"my decision is final. don't make this harder than this, you're forbidden from the mission."
how sick and twisted, that you've fled with embarrassed tears pricking at your eyes, and he's stuck with a raging erection.
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well, he had seen worse. but it didn't make this curse any less vicious. it was ancient, he could presume, and maddening. its cursed energy was warping the night air like a violent storm. but again, not the worst thing that he had encountered in his twenty-eight years, and with the right timing, he'd been able to calculate every strike and counter.
but then he saw you.
at first, he thought it was a blur — a trick of the light. but then, there you were, standing at the edge of the pavement, your figure framed by the chaotic crackle of cursed energy. fuck your stubborn nature.
this is not what is meant to happen. gojo's heart has skipped a beat, and he's not sure what he's more furious with. you, for defying his concern for your safety. or himself, for getting so distracted in. a battle.
"what the fuck is wrong with you?"
yes, he knows you're good. good enough to move with precision against a special-grade curse, your stance instantly and suspiciously better than the other day in the training rooms. it's only through his six eyes that gojo has been able to keep a track of your movements as your jujutsu is able to dodge the creature's brutal force.
impressive. but reckless.
and that never lasts.
you had moved to cast your own cursed technique, but the curse was intelligent enough to anticipate it. with a sudden lash of its tail, the creature swung its power straight at you, knocking you off balance. you stumbled, your footing lost, and before you could react, a flash of dark energy slicing across your shoulder.
a scream had torn from your lips as you fell to the ground, blood spurting from the deep cut.
and briefly, just for a flicker of time, gojo sees a dark-haired man in violet robes leaning against a brick wall, with his shoulder torn off, 'at least curse me one last time.'
blood rushing in his ears, before he even realised it, he was on top of you, his body hovering over yours, his jujutsu flaring as he shoved the cursed spirit back with a brutal force that made the earth tremble, an exorcism that will not take long. he kneeled beside you, his breath ragged, eyes locked on the wound on your shoulder. the blood was already soaking your clothes, darkening the fabric as you winced, your breath shallow and unsteady.
"you —” gojo isn't sure if his hand isn't shaking from how irate he is, "what the hell were you thinking? fuck, don't move."
your eyes were unfocused for a moment, but when they snapped to him, there was defiance there — even in this moment (get a grip!), as you gritted your teeth against the pain.
"save it, it's fine," you spat, your voice weak but vexed, "that bitch is still there."
"what did i tell you! what did i say would happen?" he cursed under his breath, focusing his reversed cursed technique as he tried to heal you, but the moment felt like an eternity as bright red blood moved too fast for him to seize it.
an assassin's blade in his throat, his arteries giving way and bubbling out and up.
now you don't answer, your eyes fluttering closed for a brief second. gojo's gaze darted to the cursed spirit, which was now advancing again, enraged by the interruption.
it won’t touch you again.
he stood, pulling you away from him, your body slumping slightly out of his arms. he could feel the heat of your blood soaking through his sleeve, but he had no time to dwell on it. the curse roared in fury, and gojo's infinity flared up around him again, a shield of pure energy blocking its path.
"stay down,” he growled, and all he received was a weak, "fuck, you think that's funny?"
it's only later when he's pulling you back up, that he realises that his reversed cursed energy has done enough to stem the bleeding, but not enough to leave you unharmed as your breath is shallow, your face taking on a more sickly pallor.
"don’t you ever — ever —do that again," he snarled, his voice raw and he wonders when something (or someone) has ever undone him so much. but the anger in his voice doesn't carry to his touch as he gently cupped your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek, tracing the lines of your jaw.
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the sterile walls of your room did nothing to soften the tension in gojo's chest as he stood by your bed, his eyes tracing the curve of your sullen form beneath the sheets. your shoulder was bandaged, with red seeping slowly through the white strips.
"you really are unbelievable," he snapped, his voice sharp as he paced around the room, every step heavy with frustration. "i told you it was too dangerous. i told you not to fucking go."
you lay there, your eyes half-closed, as though you weren’t even listening, but the twitching frown on your lips is sign enough that you're not as sorry. his fingers flexed at his sides, itching to do something — anything — to release the tension building in him.
"are you even listening to me?" he know he sounds bitter, over-reactionary, angry as he moved towards the edge of your bed.
you blinked slowly, your gaze still infuriatingly calm, "i'm fine, now. save the lecture."
he doesn't want to start sputtering so he settles for crossing his arms over his chest, but your voice breaks the silence again.
"you know i want to be a special grade sorcerer, right?"
gojo only looks down, not wanting to indulge an excuse and he studies the tight grip of his knuckles on his slender fingers, "well, i don't know why. the pay isn't that good." it's a weak attempt at a joke, but you're smiling.
"i was told i could only become one if i was the one to exorcise that special grade."
"by who? the higher-ups?" and you nod, wincing as you do.
what a fucking surprise. the way that the jujutsu world works is no surprise to gojo by now, having been surrounded by it his entire life. but the harshness of their reality still shocks him, old and doddering officials who cling to their silk robes are prone to sending out younger sorcerers (those who are still green, barely out of school) to do their dirty work for them, and the cemetery outside of jujutsu tech is ever growing.
he ground his teeth together, his chest tightening as he stared down at you. the bandages, the damp skin, the stillness of your body — it made him want to tear something apart. "fine! if they were giving you a hard time, why didn't you just come to me then?" he repeated harshly.
"would you go ask someone to help you, for something like this? if you were asked to prove yourself?"
gojo runs his tongue behind his teeth, "i'm the strongest, princess. i don't need to ask for help."
you groan, turning your head away from him, but a faint smile dances upon your lips.
he inhales sharply, his fingers digging into the edge of the bed. "you think this is a joke?"
"all four limbs are attached and i'm living and breathing. okay, so fine. my bad. i won't do it again. will you stop snapping at me now, at everything -" and gojo wonders if there's really some hurt colouring your voice, "what's going on?"
the words slip out, rough and unrestrained. "what’s going on is that you’re driving me insane. you act like this doesn’t matter, like i can just stand by and let you throw yourself into danger like it’s nothing — like you don’t matter — but you do. you do matter."
his chest was heaving now, his hands shaking as he reached out and grabbed your wrist. his thumb brushed over your pulse, the tiny fluttering beneath your skin driving him wild. "i can’t — i can’t just stand there and watch you get hurt," he continued, his voice hoarse. "you don’t get to do whatever you want without consequences, damn it. you don’t get to make me feel this way, and then pretend like it doesn’t matter."
for a moment, there was silence. gojo's pulse was hammering in his ears, his body coiled with the intensity of everything he was trying to say. everything he was trying not to say. everything he wanted to act upon.
and then, with a slow, almost lazy smile, you turned towards him, "i didn't know the great gojo satoru was like this. who would have thought?"
his breath hitched in his throat. gojo wanted to say something, to snap at you again, to maintain that distance — but the truth was that the distance between the two of you had disappeared these past few weeks. his chest tightened, his hands trembling as they slid to your face, fingers tracing the line of your jaw, and he relished how your facade almost cracked and you lightly shivered.
at least, he hoped you were shivering because of his touch. and not, like, a fever building up from your injuries.
fuck it.
and then, before he could stop himself, gojo was leaning down, his lips crashing into yours with all the force he could muster, desparate and hungry and that frustration and fear that he had been holding onto. his hand cupped the back of your neck, pulling you towards him with a force that made your breath catch, as you responded with a soft gasp.
had he misstepped? no, for you kissed him back, tentatively at first, as if you were testing the waters, but then building up to a sudden urgency that mirrored his own. your hands slid to his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as you pushed yourself closer to him, before crying out.
"ah! fuck, my shoulder."
small beads of blood surfaced where your collarbone met your shoulder, each one glistening like tiny rubies against your warm skin. they gathered slowly, delicate droplets that clung to you before tracing faint, uneven lines downward. the red stood out, vivid and fresh, dotting your skin in a stark, almost mesmorising gojo as they welled up and began to trick in thin, crimson trails.
"stay still," gojo rasped, his voice low and rough as he leaned in, pressing closer. his mouth met the fresh blood pooling on your skin, tongue tracing over the small rivulets that had seeped from beneath the bandage.
he lingered, almost savouring the taste, his eyes darkening as the sharp tang of iron lingered on his tongue, smacking his lips slightly as he drew back, gaze fixed intently on you, on your heavy breathing as he stole away another kiss from you.
gojo's lips left yours briefly, his breath ragged as he stared down at you, his eyes wild underneath the blindfold, gasping as your nails reached up to hook the fabric down so his hair loosened, falling around his face.
you were staring back at him, breathless and wide-eyed, and in that moment, gojo knew — he couldn’t stay away from you. no matter how much he tried.
your lips were soft, so soft, but there was fire behind the way you kissed him back, your hands landing on his chest, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt. he groaned, deep in his throat, and his fingers threaded into your hair, pulling you closer.
his mouth moved urgently over yours as he shifted to stand beside the bed, his body hovering over you, every muscle tense, straining with the desire that he had tried so hard to ignore. gojo just couldn't think about anything else.
and your lips broke apart only briefly, and you let out a soft laugh, that damn, dangerous laugh of yours. "you're greedy, you know that."
his chest heaved, and his heart pounded in his ears, and blood was now pounding to his nether regions. he wasn’t sure if it was the previous anger or the ache between his ribs, but he couldn’t stop himself as he threaded his fingers through your soft hair, "i am greedy. greedy for you. only you - mmph! shit!"
you had run your long, painted nails (with the little painted charms on the end) down his neck before pressing them, hard enough to cause a sharp sting.
"you wanted to put me through hell," he whispered harshly, and his lips brushed against your ear as he spoke, "until i realised i liked it. until i realised i wanted you, all of you."
his hands moved down to your waist, squeezing gently as his lips found the tender spot beneath your ear, trailing kisses there, letting his teeth sink in, to see small bruises appear. gojo's breath was ragged as he fought to keep control, and something deeper inside of him roared with the need to claim you completely.
"you’re mine," he growled against your skin, the words hot and possessive. "i don't care what happens. you’re mine now."
you tilted your head, still smiling, but this time there was something different in your eyes — something that burned with the same intensity. "if i'm yours, what are you going to do about it? hmm, satoru?"
and that final thread, that last remnant of honour that he had been nurturing and holding onto, snapped.
"is this what you want, princess?" he draws out the nickname, letting it roll off his tongue, as you suddenly inhale sharply. his hands are all over you now, large hands exploring and kneading at your torso, and before he can even let you blink, they're under your top.
he's pressing his hot mouth to your sternum, wet and open-mouthed, and he wonders what sort of effect you have on him. what force in the world leave him panting like this, desparate as his hands find their way behind your back, to unclip whatever's holding your tits in place — just so he can reach back and run his palms over your hard nipples, flicking them and rolling them in between his fingers.
and faintly, in the back of his mind, he's aware that his reversed cursed technique must be working overtime, because suddenly you're rolling forward into him with no care in the world for your previously injured shoulder, as your own hands trail down the front of body, right over his bulge.
but he slaps your hand away, pressing you flat against the mattress, "fuck, not yet. you think i'm just going to let you get away with all this," and as you mewl a soft yes, followed by a please, he rolls his eyes, "wait. behave and i'll give you what you want."
and then, softer, "need to make sure you're ready first."
his arms are caging both sides of your head, and he's got one hand on the headboard (although, you will marvel at the burnt imprint that he's left, later) and the other is tearing your top off, just so he can lean down and let his canines press into the soft fat of your chest, so he can slip a pointed nipple into his mouth and tug it, ever so gently.
but gojo needs to continue lower, and his hand squeezes at the waistband of your short skirt, snapping the elastic twice as you heave your bare chest, "please, please, satoru!"
it's heaven down here for him, and gojo's dizzy at how outstandingly wet you are, with just a single swipe of his fingers in the soft, damp fabric of your underwear.
your clear, sticky arousal clung to his fingers, stretching in thin, glistening threads as he spread your thighs apart, knocking your knees to either side so he could slot himself in between them. your slick shimmered slightly under the light, translucent and tacky and he just couldn't help himself, bringing them up to his mouth to slowly taste.
"shit, princess. you taste so good, can't believe this is what i've been missing out on."
he's playing an instrument, he thinks. gliding his fingers along sodden folds, twirling his index finger past a thick wad of skin and pressing right over your clit in hot, tight circles that have you bucking your hips, "hnngh, right - ah, right there 'toru!"
'toru.
as a reward, he plunges his middle finger straight into your gaping heat, your tight wall of ringed muscles that had been fluttering in light pulses for his attention. fuck, he almost reaches his own climax by feeling how you squirm and writhe, moan and mewl as he starts pushing his finger in, and then out.
in, and then out. in, once more. and out, again. and then, another finger.
his fingers sank into your soft, damp pussy — which yielded easily enough with a soft pssh! as the digits pressed in. gojo pulled his hand back out from your thighs, enjoying the tight resistance and suction as your cunt has resisted being empty once more, leaving a cool moistness on his skin.
but now your hands gently cup his face, and he isn't sure how to not crumble with how you look at him, eyes wide and glossy, "wan' more, want your cock, 'toru."
now, gojo feels as though he's truly ascended, gone onto some higher plane of existence. because how can he resist when your hands are weakly pawing at his belt, at his waistband and he's letting you pull his thick shaft out.
it's hot, and already weeping angry tears of pre-cum, and he just loves how your eyes widen at the sheer size and girth.
"yeah, princess was sooo brave earlier, wasn't she? wanted my cock, ah! shit - did she?" and he's letting the wide tip lay heavy against your clit, knocking it once, and then twice, through your heavenly folds.
you've reached a leg up, and around his waist, pulling him closer and gojo has to pierce his lip with his teeth to not let out a gutteral groan from his cock sliding through the your folds, "i don't - don't care, i really don't fucking care if it's too big. just put it in now, m' so wet, i'm wet enough."
your babble is endearing, and he marvels at how easily he has you cock-drunk without even being in you right now. he jostles further, until the tip is right at your flittering entrance, pressing forward and slipping through the heated, slick gummy texture in a way that has the strongest's head spinning.
"easy, princess. oh fuck, you're too tight. way too tight, i'm gonna -" and gojo inhales, steadying himself, as the wet heat enveloped him as he moved, each slide through the soft walls of your pussy leaving him acutely aware of every inch, the warmth coating him further until your slick was dampening the white, stray hairs of his groin.
he pulls your lips close again, one hand coming up to gently cradle your head, and his fingers weaving slowly through your hair.
"you're so deep in me, 'toru! so - hnngh," and your words are cut off by a staccato thrust of his hips, and your teeth clack around a moan that gojo gladly swallows.
"hey, i'm right here. i've got you, yeah? got you so good, just hold onto me."
and he keeps a steady pace, plunging into molten silk, with a sensation so intense and so enveloping that it left him breathless, with a rush of heat that made his head spin.
he's toying with your tits, pressing his face into the shadow that lies between your mounds, and gojo's certain that he could die a happy man like this, exactly like this.
he realises that the faint laugh is coming from him, so distant is he in his pussy-drunk reverie, that he realises he must look and sound like a madman, "pretty pussy is so tight, so fucking tight. haah, i think i'm gonna have to fill you up, gorgeous?" and he must be blathering, "want me to fill you up? shit- want me to stuff... ah! stuff you so full of cum that we just hafta stay in this bed all day then?"
he had his fingers now moving in circles over your throbbing clit, exerting a gentle pressure that had you so beautifully keening and bucking your hips up, jolting right into his pelvis. and gojo bit back as a groan as his heavy balls started to smack, and smack! over and over again, right onto your dampened skin.
"she must be close right, pretty little pussy must be almost tired now," and gojo's now slapping your clit, lifting three fingers up and bringing them down with enough force to not harm you, but make you jolt, "she. must. be. so. close." and each word is punctuated by the slippery spank of his fingers bouncing right off your mound.
"makes me want to have you - you and her," and gojo's revelling in the slick of your pussy, now throwing his head back without shame.
and when your walls start to flutter, when you start writhing in his grasp, pressed right against his chest with your legs knocked back as far as they reach on other side of his broad frame, he feels himself unravel. feels the rhythmic quake of your tight cunt literally milk him dry, letting pools of thick, white seed plug within you, and he almost shakes and tears up himself, at the idea of claiming you like this.
later, he has you resting against his chest and the knot in his chest, that nasty plague that sent him afoul has disappeared, and gojo feels as though he's about to start purring, from the feeling of your nails trailing little shapes over his skin (little hearts, perhaps?) and how soft your hair feels under his own hands. he can't resist himself from pressing his lips softly to your forehead, "happy?"
you laugh, a genuine, soft sound that erupts from your chest as you press your bare body into him, "you have no idea."
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tan1shere · 2 months ago
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Heyyyyyyy could YOU please PLEASE do one where Billie tells the reader how to touch herself, while Billie is on tour?!!?
Call Me
Billie Eilish x female reader !
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A/n: coming righttttt up, hope you like it 😊
Warnings: smut, phone sex ?? Masterbating - think thats it !
Masterlist
It was lonely here all alone. Finding little jobs and activities to do to fill in time. Whenever you weren't working, yourself. Your girlfriend, Billie was currently on her HMHAS tour. And you haven't seen her in days. Truth be told you missed her like crazy. Her presence. Her voice. Her touch..
Which led to the next feeling you missed. Ovulation was no joke. And you were currently facing the feral-ness of it. Even more so that she isn't here. You had been frustrated all day. And you only now realize why. You needed to touch yourself, you had to relieve this pent up tension. So as the night comes along you get into your warm, comfortable bed. Checking the time. Billie usually calls around this time.
You figure shes sleeping, she had been extra tired lately. You go to slide your hand down into your shorts, about to touch yourself. When you do, but stopping. Things aren't the same. You wanted her touch. You try to continue but nothing was feeling good right now. That caused more frustration to bubble inside you. Deciding to just sleep it away. And hope tomorrow was normal.
Next day rolls around and you still have the same feeling. Frustration and horniness. Not a great combination, the day felt longer because of it. It was a bit earlier when you got home, but thankfully Billie didn't have a show today. So she was hopefully going to answer when you call. You couldn't take it anymore you needed her help. And you needed it desperately.
You go to lay on the bed, grabbing your phone and dialing her number. She answers in seconds, causing you to grow nervous. In all the years of being with her, phone sex was the one thing you've yet to do. So ofcourse you were nervous. Would she even help you, would this be odd? "Hi baby." You hear her say, cheerfully. You smile to yourself. "Hello!" You try your hardest to not jump into things, going to try give her some hints.
"How was your day?" She then asks. You sigh, ever so lightly. "A little frustrating, good to be home though. How about yours?" - "Mine was pretty boring I've just been preparing for tomorrow's show and chilling. Why was yours frustrating my love?" You think for a moment. "Just some work and other little things, some of which I just can't fix by myself.." - "I'm sorry, anything I can do to help at all?" Yes. Phone fuck me. Was all you wanted to say but you had to play things cool. Even if your body was heating up at the thought of this happening.
"Not that I can think of, just wanted to hear your voice I missed you." She smiles to herself. "I miss you too babe." There was a small pause, you were contemplating on how you'd do this. When a small idea pops into your head. You missed her voice so much, and it sounds like you had just woke her up from a nap. Her voice was slightly raspy, a bit of her tiredness peeking through.
"Did anything else happen today?" You then ask, getting comfortable on the bed. Moving your hands just above the waistband of your underwear. You had decided to get straight into your sleepwear, just a loose night gown. Wanting to feel good as all you've been wearing lately are big t-shirts to bed. You wanted to feel hot, make this moment more sensual. "Not too much if im honest, just got my outfit for tomorrow, did some other things. Just boring stuff really." You hum in reply, moving your hand in your underwear as she speaks.
Was this wrong? It felt a little like that. Your face heats up what're you even doing. But you get pulled from your thoughts when you hear your name. "Hello? Y/n, baby. You still there?" The name made you bite your lip. "Y-yeah sorry." She chuckles. "You didn't answer my question love." "Oh, oops. What was it?" She smiles to herself again, finding you cute. Except what you were doing was far from cute and downright filthy. "I asked you how shark had been, he's behaving right?" Your hand moves lower, trying to stay focused on the conversation and her voice. "Y-yeah he's been good." You let out a quiet sigh but she hears it. "Everything ok?"
You get nervous again, how were you even going to manage this. "I'm fine.." You needed her to keep talking, and thankfully she does. "Ok, Im sure if it's anything youre just tired. I was going to talk to you about when I get back, we have a dinner with Finn on the Friday. Just thought I'd remind you incase you forgot." Your finger had been in you, slowly moving the whole time she was talking. And when you don't reply she gets more confused. "Baby, what're you doing you seem distracted." You holt your movements, trying to think of an excuse but why? You wanted to call her and ask.
Ask her to talk to you, help you. So why were you so damn nervous. "Talk to me baby." God sake her voice was so hot even when she wasn't intentionally trying. You bite your lip again trying to stop any noise that was about to escape. Mustering up some sort of strength to reply. "I'm f-fine." Was all you managed to respond with. Billie sits there in thought, when she hears another sigh. Was she catching on? She needed to be sure. "I miss you, so. So much." She was playing with fire. You don't respond again, having your eyes shut as you try to give yourself pleasure.
When it's not working you let out another sigh followed by a tiny whine. She hears that loud and clear, smirking to herself. She knew good and well what you were doing. "Can't wait to see you in a few days, get to kiss you. Hold you. Touch.. you." She chose her words evily. But she didn't stop there. A breath was to be heard. Followed by a frustrated sigh. "Let me help, baby. You sound annoyed." Another small whine left you, at the fact she was right and just overall the way she was speaking to you.
Your brows knit together, giving in and letting her. She knows now, there's no point in staying silent. "It's no good, I miss you. Your hands." She coos. "I know baby, I know. I'm just so good at touching my girl huh?" Your head rests back. "So good." You breath into the speaker. "Your fingers still inside?" You reply with a hum. "Move em." So you do just that, slowly at first. "Move your thumb, touch your clit for me." You do that, touching it then moving your thumb in a circle motion.
Everything was so still and quiet she could hear your wetness and God it was driving her nuts, she wanted to be there. To see it, to feel it. "That's it." She says encouragingly, hearing your noises as you speed up on both tactics. She could just imagine it, you touching yourself just to her speaking. "Was baby doing this the whole time I was talking?" She then says. Your cheeks grow red with heat. "I- uhm." She lets out an evil chuckle, sending tingles straight to your pussy. It was such a hot chuckle. But then again, anything she did right now was 10x hotter. "You're such a filthy girl huh?" You bite your lip yet again.
Feeling more pleasure than you had been. "Please keep talking please." You begged. Voice so needy. "Plunge deeper for me, know you can. Imagine my fingers. How deep they go. Imagine your thumb is my tongue as I swirl it around your throbbing clit." Your back arches at the thought, you needed it more than anything. "Need you so bad." A louder moan was to be heard. The fact this woman is just talking to you and you almost coat the sheets in your nectar. She felt all the power in this moment. "Go faster for me - that's a good girl." She finishes as she hears the squelching increase. Your breaths and moans mingle into one as you get closer.
"Mmm, fuck I'm so so close. Please." She laughs yet again. "So cute, still asking to cum even when I'm miles away. So incredibly good, aren't you?" Your head lulls back into the pillows again, feeling the knot almost snap. "Fuck, Billie." - "Faster baby, rub your clit. Wanna hear you squirt." Just those words alone send both of those sensations out of you, having you leak and squirt all at once. Your breath being uneven as your eyes roll back. "Good, girl. That's what I like to hear."
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withlove-xixi · 4 months ago
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— LAIOS NSFW THOUGHTS: laios x reader
ᥫ cw: nsfw, petplay, dom/sub, praise ★ laios appeals to me w the many possible sexual exploits he could be into #tbh — MINORS DNI! —
im sorry, i cant get it off my head .. he'd ... be really into petplay i think. he wouldn't be too ashamed of it too, in fact he's be pretty eager about it. he'd be on all fours and you could already see the imaginary tail eagerly wagging from behind him, and its endearing really. laios would love it if you pet his head or scratched his belly or even just combing through his hair. he wouldn't be against wearing a collar or some ears and a tail to complete the look (though i don't think he'd like being caged or leashed so much. something about feeling constricted too much freaks him out)
he's got that dog in him, what can he say?
oh he would absolutely melt too with praise. anything to let him know he's doing a good job, that you're feeling as good as he is. he loves it, before anything, it's reassurance, a sign to keep going or to change his pace/angle. he knows he's not the best at reading people, so something as simple as telling him how good it feels is enough to keep him going and going. though, immediately after reassurance, it's the unexplainable twist in his gut when you tell him these things. he just loves being called a good boy. argue what you want about if he'd growl or if he's whimper because the correct answer is he'd do both. i dont think he's particularly noisy in bed, but definitely he will make noise and when he does it's so obvious because he's just so loud. it's a bit jarring sometimes because he could be almost silent, save for deep breaths and pants, and suddenly a canine-like growl or whimper would escape his lips.
i like to think he's more or less quiet because he's just too focused on the act. any noise that slips out is simply primal response, written in laios' dna to respond so instinctively.
he's like petnames too! he finds a certain intimacy in the act. he loves calling you by them too, though they're quite unorthodox, things like "my wildflower" or "cheesecake" (since it's his favorite food!) he's definitely tried to call you by a monster's name ... and as sweet as the sentiment was, it wasn't something that lasted too long.
ohhh and back to petplay, laios loves being called "puppy". it's cute and honestly, he kind of is one, is he not?
i think laios can be a bit too excited sometimes too. it's easy for him to get carried away with things he wants to try or do, so you'd have to repeatedly ground him back to what's happening or what's reasonable. though it's not always a verbal cue. you could kiss him gently or pat his arm and he'd get the message, he'd slow down and give you time to breathe and stuff.
idk i think laios is a really sweet guy. similar to my falin nsfw thoughts, as much as he wants to try these new things, it's more out of curiosity and comes from a certain air of innocence. a lot of those things are new therefore something he must try lol. its endearing, it really is. but like his sister, i think he can be a bit timid about it. if he mulls it over too much, he'd end up shyly asking you about it, if it were something you were comfortable with or something you wanted to try. otherwise, he'd be asking you pretty directly, something straight to the point and along the lines of "i want to do this". that being said, i think laios could easily be coerced into trying things. you dont even need to bat your lashes or plead, if you play your cards right, you could instantly spark his curiosity and get him ready to take of his clothes.
oh but laios .. wouldnt be the best at aftercare. dont get me wrong, he tries his best, but somehow he feels a bit lost on what to do. on instinct he goes on autopilot, picking up clothes from the ground, handing you yours, getting dressed and preparing to sleep. but something sweet he does is talk to you though he'd do that regardless of sex. just something short and sweet before you go to bed, in a way, its his way of showing his love and care for you. he listens to what you have to say, he tells you something in return and then its off to bed with you both. it's nice especially if you two have finished doing something nasty, it's a slice of domesticity after something that feels so carnal and it's truly heartwarming.
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dumbslvtforethan · 1 year ago
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first kiss w non gf ethan landry!!
❝ one of your girls ethan landry
-- summary: you bring the shy dorky guy to a frat party .
946 words
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𐙚 mdni!! ↓↓ 𐙚༘⋆ೀೀ
EVER SINCE YOU'VE JOINED ECON ethan has been observing you from afar. ethan was really hot, and quite a lot of girls had a secret crush on him, but behind that pretty face, ethan was just another shy dorky guy, who'd no one would suspect of anything bad because he was so shy and dorky. and despite the attention, ethan never even had his first kiss, he was waiting for it to be with you. you never really payed that much attention to him, but after your teacher paired you up for a project, you really got to know him. "so what do you wanna do first?" said ethan, nervously. you two had agreed to do the project on your house, so on top of his nervousness of even speaking to you, there was the amusement of being at his crushes bedroom. "i dont know, how about you search for key words while i do the flyer?" you said. after you two being really awkward for a while, you actually found ethan really funny and nice to talk to. and after thet forced interaction because of the project, you two became really good friends. and ethan actually agreed to go to a halloween frat party together. you two agreed to go as ghostfaces together, which was quite ironic considering all of ethan's friends accused him of being one, even though he wasn't. "hey im here, where are you?" you texted ethan when you arrived at the party. ethan was so nervous he couldn' even drive properly. it was the first frat party he would go to, let's just say, ethan wasn't much of a party person. when ethan arrived he felt so out of place, there were people making out, drinking, smoking, things ethan never did. "im in the kitchen" he texted you. a few minutes later you found him. you were wearing a black tube dress, fishnets, a ghostface mask stuck on your upper thigh and a pair of black boots, you looked gorgeous in ethan's vision.
"hey, i missed you" you said, hugging him. ethan didn't even have time to respond when you said "c'mon lets dance" dragging him to the dance floor. the party was crowded, and as mentioned previously, despite not being popular, ethan had a lot of secret admires, sometimes he would open up his locker and and a bunch of letter would fall on his lap, love letters to be exact. you and him were at the dance floor, the amount of girls who would look at him was too much. even you started to notice. and ethan started to get uncomfortable. "hey are you okay?" you asked ethan, worried. he shook his head in response. you grabbed his hand and led him to the nearest bathroom.
"whats wrong?" you asked him, before locking the door shut. "i feel so out of place Y/N" he said, tears filling his eyes. you got on your knees to look in the eyes of the boy who was sitting in the toilet with his head down. "look, i know you're not used to this kind of stuff but i can help you." you said "its not that. sure im not used to these kind of places but its just i feel so-" he said "lost?" you interrupted him. he nodded. "how? i mean those girls were looking at you with hungry eyes out there ethan." you said, trying to comfort him. "but i dont want any of those girls Y/N, i want someone that cares about me, someone who i can feel safe with, not just some one night stand." he said, no looking at you in the eyes. "i want someone like-" he said, before pausing regretting him words. "someone like you." he said, taking every drop of courage in his body to say that. you grabbed his cheeks and leaned in slowly, kissing him on the lips. he looked shocked, and that concerned you because you thought that you did something wrong or that he simply just didn't like the kiss. "im sorry, i have no idea what came into me" you said, getting up and grabbing the door handle of the bathroom. you were about to open the door when he grabbed your waist spinning you and kissing you one more time. "im sorry if i looked like i didn't like it, trust me, that's what i've wanted for months now but-" he said "its just...that was my first kiss" he said, stuttering. now the one in shock was you, you would've never expected that a hot guy like him who gets that much attention never got kissed until that moment. "what?" you said, in complete shock. "i know, just, lets not come back out there, i dont want anymore girls looking at me Y/N, you are the only one that i want." he said.
"what if there was a way to make them go away?" you said, an idea popping in your head. "c'mon" you said,  grabbing his hand and one again, dragging him to the dance floor. "just trust me okay?" you whispered in his ear. you grabbed his hand and put it on your waist. you pulled his head closer to yours, french kissing him. you were expecting him to be a horrible kisser, considering that a few minutes ago he had his first kiss, but you honestly wouldn't care. the thing you weren't expecting was that he was actually a great kisser, like amazing kisser. "you are an amazing kisser, im kinda surprised not gonna lie" you said, shocked for the second time of the night. "i watch porn so.." he confessed. "ethan!" you said, laughing.
@jchampionsgf on tumblr
A/N: this is my first request ever so thank you sm for requesting! i've been on here for not a lot of time and im already receiving sm love so tysm! i've never written subby ethan before so sorry if its not that good but hope you enjoy.
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year2000electronics · 3 months ago
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I desire to see a post ABT the uhhhh book of Bill changing for everyone lmao
I desire to see your take on it
IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A LOT. before TBOB released i was ruminating on what ford's version of the book looked like, and i guess you could say i was proven wrong?
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ford says his is "mostly" extremely complex riddles. you could easily take that as like 99% of the book, but i think back to the missing journal pages and how ford frequently lets his shame bury his past. and i feel like theres just enough wiggle room here to imagine more stuff. other stuff.
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im not sure if i agree with this totally, coming back to it, just because we see in TBOB that bill HATES to admit he was wrong or even vulnerable, but i guess i could see it as a bait, or a goad? idk i just like the idea that little parts of the book of bill of bill trying to play on him and ford's old relationship and his ego.
can you imagine if ford's version of the book of bill claimed to be the "only TRUE version, the others are just fakes"? because youre just that special, stanford. only you can see past all of my empty threats. only you can see the true bill. (saying this as another lie, of course)
i think a similar logic probably also applies to the other pines', because each of them take a moment to give a more broad, jokey overview of what their book looks like ("a guide to everyone whos ever had a crush on you", "a guide to winning the lottery every time" etc.) but i believe its definitely just a simplification to prove that TBOB is different for everyone and you could guess whats in there yourself in fanon!
i guess what id be most interested to see is stanley's. bill is literally FUMING at stanley so hard. im not sure he could get it together to ACTUALLY try to trick him.
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judging by the energy of bill's thisisnotawebsite posts about stan and the wheel of shame image (looking at this image literally hurts so bad btw.) i feel like he would be going for the throat a LOT. trying to wear stan down by heckling him and attacking his weak points (and also definitely projecting onto him) and once hes worn down, perhaps the end of the book would have bill offering for him to do "the first worthwhile thing in his life"
I DUNNO THOUGH! endless ways to speculate. truly endless
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0mystic · 6 months ago
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Toxic Werwolf Ex.Bf X Gn. Reader
Decided to get back into writing but more into stuff that I’m into because I think im like maybe semi decent… idk you guys tell me
Tw: Toxic relationships, Blood mention, Nsfw mention, Drinking, slight yandere themes.? Think that’s about it
You had been broken up with your ex for awhile. It wasn’t a shocker to most he treated you like trash and and made it his goal to bully you in front of his pack mates at all time, that paired with the fact that anyone around you could see you were unhappy with the relationship people were just counting down the days till you guys broke up.
Which lead you to where you were right now wearing your skimpiest outfit your friends could shove you into and sitting at this bad with your friends. Don’t get it wrong you were all for the free drinks this cute harpy was providing you with but it just didn’t feel the same. With a bit more encouragement from your friends you find your grinding up against him in a secluded corner.
You were laughing a bit your body feeling light with the alcohol in your system. You turn to face him your arms draping over his shoulder feeling his hands roam over the nice landscape of your ass. Feeling a bit more confident you let go and decide to have some fun you deserve that much at least. You mange your pull his head down placing a soft kiss on his lips. He smiles a bit before diving back into the kiss.
Maybe you were absorbed in the kiss or maybe it was the alcohol but you didn’t hear the step until he was behind you. You jump at the sudden feeling of a hand on you wrists a hand you know all to well. You turn not at all surprised to see your Ex looking as pissed as ever. The smell of alcohol came of him in waves; you scrunched your nose a bit attempting ti pull your arm back.
“Well looked what we have here, should have known a slut like you would take the first chance available to whore yourself out” he leered looking down at you through clenched teeth. You looked to him more specifically his canines looking just as sharp as ever, you could almost feel a phantom pain on your neck just looking at them.
The harpy standing behind you decided to finally intervene with a a leisurely tone he spoke “woah hey man, let’s not call people names now” he reached over and attempted to remove his hand from you only for a deep snarl to be released from your Ex’s throat. “Shut it bird brain this has nothing to do with you why don’t I go give you something shiny and you go fuck off” he growled squeezing his hand around you tighter his nails breaking into your skin a bit.
You let out a whimper as you move to squirm out of his grasp only for him to let out a warning growl. Refocusing in you. “Why don’t you just fucking come back already, you had your fun already whatever stupid shit you’re upset over right now I’m sorry now let’s go” he spoke in a low tone. “I’m done with you, you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for” you seethed wrenching your arm out of his grasp and cradling it towards your chest.
“You heard them knot head why don’t you just go chase a ball or better yet your tail” the harpy mocked pulling you closer to them as they went to inspect your wound muttering out soft words as the use feather light touches to check. You stand there almost in a peaceful state at care the harpy was showing you completely forgetting about the werewolf.
Until he lounged at the the harpy, pouncing and and holding down the male as he thrashed around trying to get the upper hand. All while your your Ex smiled in an almost sadistic way feeling the way the harpy blood cover his hands. Once he felt as though he had his fill he stood up turning towards you with a glint in his eye.
“Oh cmon don’t tell me your scared” he spoke as you backed up a bit looking up to him in fear. “You were speaking in such a righteous manner just a second ago where’d that go” he smirked look down at you. “Poor poor little mate I’ll excuse you this time maybe you just don’t know your place yet” he quickly threw your frozen form over his shoulder placing a quick seat over your ass as he walked out the bar.
“Don’t worry we have all night for you ti get just where your place is”
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How was that I literally haven’t like written written in what feels like ages so this was fun. I have tons of thoughts so I would be open to doing more of this they all need names though I do have some appearance ideas for both of them though and ummm yah that’s all I guess toon in for more ^^
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braxlrose · 2 years ago
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Hi!!! A new fan of tokio hotel here and I was wondering if you could write some dating headcannons for gustav for a gem reader whose also in a band? Much love btw <3
I've been looking through the requests and finding georg and gustav stuff so yall can get some more so here we go!!
dating gustav
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cw: mentions of sex, cockwarming, kissing, oral (f and m recieving), etc.
✮ he's the type of guy who holds the side of your waist while walking down the street. not for possessiveness or any of that shit, just because he likes it and it makes you feel safe. He also knows the sidewalk rule. keep that in mind ladies.
✮ even though gustav is a fantastic cook now, he mostly just made stuff from boxes in the 2000s. but yall would always make stuff together.
✮ when you're on your period, he always makes you stuff. especially milkshakes. he's got a signature one, which is just vanilla ice cream, peanut butter and bananas. but it tastes amazing, and gustav always puts so much love into it.
✮ he gives you backrubs, and footrubs, brushes your hair and brings a heating pad for you. im telling you guys, he's literally the perfect bf.
✮ when yall finish a song on stage he comes up behind you and gives you hugs and kisses. and the fans eat. it. up.
✮ but if he's not wearing a shirt and he comes up behind you, he's gets you all sweaty. I just love you so much I can't help it. he says. but let's be fr. he's just a little shit. we still love him though.
✮ he tries to teach you how to play the drums, he sits you on his lap and holds your hands and wrists to show you what to do. and he rests his chin on your shoulder which he ends up breathing in your ear. totally doesn't make you clench your thighs and get wetter and wetter every single. but mans also gets soooo annoyed when you're doing something wrong 😭
✮ cockwarming while teaching you how to play drums is a must. i don't remember who wrote it, but I swear I remember reading it somewhere. @bored0writer edit: THIS IS WHO WROTE IT AND ITS AMAZING OMG
✮ like I had said in my last post, gustav is a soft dom. disagree w/ me all you want, but it's true.
✮ after concert cock sucking is so good. you both love it so much. you have adrenaline running through your veins and it feels so good.
✮ he has the softest lips in the entire world, it's insane. so kissing him is so nice.
✮ he takes you on the cutest dates. whether you two are going out to dinner, to a movie, or just staying at the hotel rooms, they're always amazing.
✮ he's also got super soft hair which is amazing to run your hands through when making out or fucking.
✮ he'll lay between your thighs for hours after teasing and leaving hickies on your thighs.
✮ he likes to hold down your thighs when he's eating you out and fucking you with his tongue because it gives him better control and he likes that. a lot.
✮ whenever you try and rut against his face while he's going down on you, he'll slap your cunt as many times as he wants until you learn your lesson (if you're into that).
✮ and on the other side, he's a big sub too. always moaning and groaning and whining and wriggling underneath you as you pump and suck on his cock. ironic huh. he's so sweet and whiny. and he's totally got a mommy kink. big time mommy kink.
✮ loves it when you ride his thigh. thinks you look so sexy.
✮ if you play the guitar, you'll try and teach him how to play too but he'll end up complaining how his fingers hurt. poor baby :(
✮ you two always share hotel rooms and stay up watching movies together
✮ I STAND BY THIS. he is the best cuddler to exist. he's so soft and squishy, and since he's got some chub on his stomach, he's so nice to cuddle with.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed!! TY for all the requests
tag list:
@burntb4bydoll
@hearts4kaulitz
@saumspam
@spelaelamela
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magicalgirlsirin · 11 months ago
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hi rly enjoyed ur post on elysian realm! ik ur a new fan (i am too) but i heard that before retcon, elysia was a lot more morally gray. would you happen to know how exactly?? im rly curious bc i think it would be a severe improvement obviously. we deserve complex women who do wrongs
So when I say retcon in relation to the elyrealm arc it's less so "things they changed because of the story evolving and wanting to expand previously established events" and more "things they straight up forgot about in service of making Elysia a herrscher". It's not like hi3 is a stranger to retcons though?
For example, Durandal being the "original" Kiana is a retcon. The fact that our Kiana was a clone remained the same, but it's clear from older story stuff (iirc it's Everlasting Memory/Theresa's chronicle set?; second eruption manga doesn't focus on the Kiana part) that Durandal wasn't originally there. Otto refers to Kiana as K-423, and that Theresa needs to retrieve her, which implies that Theresa knows it's not Siegfried and Cecilia's kid, but her distress remains the same. The later game retcon by Thus Spoke Apocalypse is that OG!Kiana and Siegfried were going to go retrieve K-423, but OG!Kiana ended up injured and so Siegfried only left with K-423. And if you're confused then so am I because the details don't really super line up with the presentation, but it's like, fine, because at the end of the day the current writing intention and trajectory is for Durandal and Kiana to be sisters, and to both be Siegfried's daughters.
Anyways, for Elysia, a lot of her retcons occur in a very rapid pace from the first realm chapter set to Elysium Everlasting. Like I mentioned in my last post, the herrscher reveal is nonsense just going off of basic information like the fact she received MANTIS surgery like all the other Flame Chasers. However, there are other plot threads that are completely dropped for the sake of making Elysia a very special good girl who you should love because she's so nice and never did anything bad.
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[About Betrayal 1 - Chapter 2]
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[About Betrayal 2 - Chapter 2]
Elysia the traitor plot is something I was, well not hopeful for (a friend had already warned me that the game wouldn't do anything interesting with it] but I still ended up mulling it over a lot because it was such an interesting hinge piece for her initial presentation.
What stands out to me is the phrasing. Kevin says she never endangered humanity even if she was a traitor. Kevin says that Elysia made a decision. This implies agency, like Elysia was actively choosing to do something dangerous for the sake of the Flame Chasers. However, if Elysia was a herrscher from the beginning, then none of this makes sense. She doesn't choose to be a herrscher if she was one from the beginning, so why even make it seem like her betrayal was her choice at all?
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[Traitor - Chapter 1]
It doesn't stop there though. Mobius' active disdain implies that whatever choice Elysia made, it was enough to make Mobius of all people consider her a lost cause. Mobius, who body mods and injects honkai energy into anyone with a pulse (hyperbole) to try and make humanity last just the slightest bit longer.
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[Traitor - Chapter 1]
Mobius wants us to doubt Elysia's intentions. If you go through all their shared information, you'll find that the worst Elysia really does is just... coerce Mobi to wear pink dresses, and while that is obnoxious, it wouldn't warrant utter contempt for Elysia as a person.
There's actually a lot of stray text that implies there's something wrong about Elysia's existence, which I guess in generous terms could be interpreted as setup for the herrscher reveal? But it just feels like it's just there to add to the mystery that won't go anywhere.
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[The Blind Spot - Recollection]
This right here nags at me. Deeply so. Elysia isn't so much a character as much as she is just a concept, the idea of a story that could be told. Not even in the canon-compliant weird endgame hook meta-textual breakout in Transcending Finality about the power of stories... Although, there's a way to introduce it here and tie it to Elysia to give some semblance of connectivity.
I went this long without actually giving my thoughts on how to make Elysia's writing good though. Disclaimer for clarity sake I know not everyone will agree with the changes I want to make and I'm also not claiming to be a more skilled writer than anyone in the hi3 team, they're all people with enough talent to be employed by the company.
That out of the way.
This isn't so much about making Elysia morally grey as much as it is about giving her an emotional core, because right now she's pretty hollow. Rather than a pristine girl who never did anything wrong, I'd rather cast her as a romantic, tragic heroine who would move heaven and fate just to seem noble.
Elysia was born human. Maybe she loved stories, and how they transported her to far off places, far far far away from the tiny town she was growing up in. When she was old enough, she traveled the world. Honkai descends. Because she was a globe trotter she ended up connected to many people, and was given the chance to join the MOTH organization. She gets MANTIS surgery. As the number of soon-to-be Flame Chasers grow, discussion begins about if the strength of the soldiers is enough.
'Maybe, if I had power comparable to a herrscher, we could fight with less casualties.'
She doesn't say this out loud, of course. It's a dangerous thought, a line that shouldn't be crossed. But she's curious. She breaks into Mobius' lab [Miss Pink Spy - Pristine Memory] to find the information she wants. Mobius figures out her intentions and warns Elysia off. It's not even in consideration, so keep whatever plan you have in mind off the table before you do something irreversible.
Mobius thought that Elysia gave up on the plan after the seventh erruption. The haunted look behind Kevin's eyes, the sadness creasing Elysia's face, all of it makes it seem like a simple consideration forgotten by the sands of time.
Elysia doesn't have a discipline. She told Dr. Mei it wasn't needed since her combat performance was well above standard margins anyways. (She is on par with Kevin in strength, after all.) At least, we all thought she didn't. A deal is made with Aponia.
Aponia, Aponia, apostle of fate, I offer you my 'humanity' to become a 'story'.
Elysia cannot receive any more disciplines. The target has to be "human". Elysia as a story, unchanging, pristine, capable of remaining as she is without blemish, can reach out and become a herrscher while remaining herself. She's desperate. She wants to help. She reaches into the deep, the start of the universe, and gathers the power. She names it Origin, since it's something she found at the source.
She's a herrscher.
Herrschers are an enemy of humanity.
Kevin runs her through with Shamash.
Elysia is still herself though, talking like she would as usual.
-Oh Kevin, I wanted to know if your tears would freeze, but I was hoping it wouldn't be like this. They're so warm, though. Thank you for crying for me.
-I see no herrscher here, just... the flame chaser, bearing the signet of ego.
The Elysian Realm keeps a secret. Aponia keeps it, the fact that Elysia gave up her humanity. The final banquet? A polite way to refer to Elysia's own demise.
It's sad, isn't it? That strength she wanted to give fell right through her fingers. Her own undoing, the desperate plan of a foolish girl who wanted to be a hero, but only ending up as a villain to oppose. It's so much more meaningful, then, that Elysia's gift, the power of sapience, is kept on to the next cycle of humanity. Held again, the power of ego, of humans, to someone with a kind heart to move beyond the past she's trapped in. Thank you, Raiden Mei, for carrying on the ideals of the thirteen trailblazers, the moths who chase the flame.
so anyways yeah i think elysia couldve been interesting whos to say
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since you're the most qualified person i know regarding dumas, i wanted to know your take on the bbc's The Musketeers (2014). i had a weird obsession with it a few years ago. how well (or not) does it hold up in every aspect (except for the main title track which is above any and all reproach)?
hmmm after long reflection this is difficult to answer because even tho i do in fact like the show, the only specific things i have to say ab it are negative, and i feel that doesnt fully reflect my opinion. i think the best way to summarize it is the show doesnt do anything as good as the books, so when i try to analyze it im just thinking "couldve been better" but i do admire their honesty in saying its "inspired by the characters" instead "based on the books" or whatevey. anway ill try to hit some more specific points:
they did my boy rochefort soooooo dirty!!! why did they slander him like that hes a very cool chill guy in the books and him and d'art have such a cute lil friendship in vaa, whyyy did they make him such a horrible little creeper #notmyroachie also what is adaptations repeated fixation on eyepatches? he literally doesnt have one
i dont feel as strongly ab the grimaud slander bc that change is funny as heck. he bears zero resemblence to book!grimaud but if book!grimaud decided to hunt athos for sport i would support him. tho i do think if they wanted to make him a villain they shouldve made it /him/ as a villain, not just some guy w the same name. or even commit to the bit and do an evil lackey squad. also its a tv show they had time to include more of the side charcters from the book [such as the lackeys] but didnt?? like this applies to others but im a lackey stan so i think of them first. its interesting how a lot of modern adaptations tend to minimize or erase servant characters when in some classic lit [particularly these] they are major side characters
ryan gage as louis 13 slayed immensely. he did not have to bring that much to his performance but he did and it was amazing
costume design was mid at best, and made all the worse by louis and the occasional side character wearing stuff thats actually in the vicinity of 1630s so that i see them and think "why not everyone?" i will say that they tended to have internal consistancy with each other so there is that going for it, but i absolutley HATED how the mouskos literally never changed clothes. like they got new fits in s3 but then they never changed out of those? a single cloth doublet im begging d'art got MARRIED in that crusty leather fit even tho his gf is literally a seamstress its horrible
calzone brought up that pretty much every woman in the show gets victimized at some point, which, yeah and it kinda makes the feminist monets feel a lil performative. also they fell into some of my milady adapting pet peeves: massive stat debuffs, made her sad ab athos, over-reliance on pop culture femme fatale tropes rather than her actual canon, etc. that one ep where perdita weeks showed up as a grifter/assassin and i just sat there and thought "that shouldve been milady. also people who think s3 was bad bc theyre butthurt ab milathos are wrong and stupid. s3 was bad bc of spiderman 3 syndrome [too many villains making it unfocused]
very uneven amounts of screentime for the mouskos? i swear half of the episodes were aramis-centric and maybe 2 overall were d'art-centric? make that make sense. actually fr what WAS the shows obsession w aramis, esp when they got rid of his more complicated and interesting book traits. hes barely even catholic in this, much less slutty and evil. all les inseperables were a lil ooc but i expect that in adaptations to an extent [tho i do feel they lost some of the charm of how wildly different they are from eachother in the books] the casting itself was pretty good though and i feel cabrera couldve done a good aramis if they had given him better writing to work with [also: hilarious how aramis spends most of the show in a committed monogamous situationship while /athos/ of all people has the three weed smoking girlfriends]
absolutely comical how much a bbc production went out of its way to avoid any of the england related plots from the novels. what, worried about even the slightest potential of portraying england less than favourably? tbh aside from dumas' funny narratorial comments england gets a pretty fair shake in the books, so excluding buckingham etc. in favour of making up plots ab spain is just silly.
absolutely loved that one time they went to the morgue to investigate a case they shouldve done that more it was funny. i think the show was at its best when it was having silly goofy moods [athos' "funeral"? peak]
uhh i think thats it for specifics, if there was something you had in mind you can ask and i probably do have a thought ab it that i just like forgot lol. anyway solid 6/10 ive seen it multiple times and am open to watching it again, like you said bangin theme song
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hughiecampbelle · 4 months ago
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first and foremost, i wish you a speedy recovery! congrats with 10k <3
preferences: the boys series, any character you want. i usually gravitate towards men and morally questionable characters, but everything is up to you :)
1. physical: im 21, 5'5, slim, no tattoos, black short hair, i have glasses and i usually wear casual dark clothes, like really not flashy at all. really like going around with a backpack full of stuff for every occasion
2. personality: im agender asexual. basically im trying to logically analyze everything around me, so i end up being 'i told you so' person with negative eq. but really, im told im pretty kind to the people around me. i like interacting with my friends but i get tired quickly from it, so i self isolate a lot. i have a negative worldview. i'm prone to anger and control it poorly. i dont have grand goals in life, no ambitious, i dont strive for more because i dont care, im really only attached to life through the people whom i idolize and if anyone opposes me, my ideals and especially people special to me, i defend them relentlessly, im really only stubborn about them. and well, since my main interest is russian politics, i am really passionate towards russian opposition, so the hate towards the government, violence, dictatorship, censorship, apolitical people who dont care etc etc applies.
3. hobbies: consuming/analyzing new information on anything that interests me at the given moment; linguistics, computer games, drawing, writing, cooking, birdwatching, joking.
4. favorites: book – solaris by stanislaw lem; movie – tenet (2020); game – deus ex mankind divided; song – vertigo by edwin rosen. i like sci fi a lot
thanks in advance ☃️
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You're the only person in Butcher's life who can tell him "I told you so". Coming from anyone else, it would set him off. He'd come back at them with quips and jokes and even some harsh words, but when you're the one saying it, all he can say is "I know, love". You're the one who keeps him (mostly) level headed
Despite the both of you being stubborn, you agree on a lot of things, especially when it comes to Vought/Homelander. The both of you would do anything to stop them. Anything. Your Russian opposition bleeds into an opposition towards Vought and Supes in general. It might not always be the best thing for everyone, but if it's the right way to take them down, you're willing to do it
Butcher loves that you like analyzing new information. You're the best on the team for catching things no one else did, seeing the smallest obscurities and inconsistencies in Vought's story. You're always finding something they could have missed. Your attention to detail is what's gotten them out of trouble on more than a few occasions
He appreciates your commitment to the people you love. He's been fighting this fight, first for Becca, then Ryan, now you. You're linked together through love and appreciation and understanding that you're committed to one another no matter what. Though he doesn't always feel deserving of it, you make sure he knows you'd never leave him. You'd never turn on him
Butcher was never really good with words, so he's pretty amazed by your writing. When he does try to talk things through, it all comes out wrong. It's jumbled and cynical and taken the wrong way. The fact that you can make your words malleable and work right and also sound pretty blows him away. Even his compliments come out wonky, but you've been together long enough to know what he's trying to say, what means
I hope you like it my love!!!! Xoxoxo💜💜💜💜💜
Want to request a ship?
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ozymoron · 9 months ago
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tell me a bit about sophia (i mean if u want) im interested
gladly. i love talking about her
shes a 20 something year old german trans woman living in nz. shes 5'10" (somewhere around like 177.80cm) and a lesbian. she uses she/her pronouns but is fine with being called a guy or people using he/him for her as long as she know they believe her when she says shes a woman (like they dont mean it in a transphobic way). she has a deep voice and a german accent i havent really got much of the worldbuilding down yet but i do have most of her personality down. also her story takes place in some vague year between 2000 and now
shes kinda a huge loser like in the sense that she spends most of her time just sorta sitting around at home drinking beer and smoking while listening to industrial and hardcore and metal and shit (shes almost definitely depressed but im yet to explore that side of her lmao). she drinks and drives, shes incredibly wreckless. she kinda doesnt care that much about others but more in a way where shes just kinda always in her own head only thinking about herself and what she wants but when it comes to the people close to her shes incredibly protective like a guard dog. she acts like kinda a silly idiot around her loved ones but as soon as someone even looks at any of them wrong, shes fully ready to kill them. she clings onto her friends and stuff like theyre the last thing she has left. less in a desperate kinda codependent way and more in a "i could not live without you i will protect you with all i have trust me please stick around and keep me in your life i will make my existence worth your while" kind of way
shes a wannabe badass but also just is a badass. like she acts all cold and stoic but laid back, i guess in a way trying to seem all mysterious and cool but mostly just comes off like a bit of a jackass (cause she kinda is a bit of a jackass but she means well. sometimes.) i havent got to this part of the worldbuilding so i dont have an explanation for why she is this way but im planning that theres something she has to fight against or something like that. i have a bit of a vague idea of what i want but no specifics but she has a side to her where like shes actually kinda badass. she wears a wolf mask and carries around this baseball bat which the tip is like covered in nails and shit. im planning she gets covered in blood often because women covered in blood is awesome. im planning a theme with the group of characters she hangs out with where they all wear some kind of animal mask and each have their own weapon which like reflects their personality and whatnot
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she works in a fast food restaurant which i feel like explains a lot about her
she mostly wears the mask to hide her identity but also to just hide her face in general. shes not insecure about how she looks but more just worried about what other people think of her. shes on hrt but she wants to keep her body hair cause she likes her body hair which includes her facial hair though she does regularly shave it cause she knows it gets her misgendered. she also wears a spiked collar and sometimes a leash (if shes not wearing a leash shes wearing some kind of bondage harness thing) both to continue the whole wolf dog thing shes got going on and also for sexual reasons of course
she has a romance thing going on with another oc of mine called blair (the name is a placeholder im so bad at picking names). blairs tiger/big cat coded shes more of the happy-go-lucky chaotic type. sophia goes incredibly soft for her like the whole trying to be a stoic badass thing completely drops around her she would sacrifice herself in a heartbeat if it meant blair was kept alive and safe which worries the fuck out of blair cause half the time she does not need to sacrifice herself but she puts herself in danger for blair often times for no reason cause she believes its what she needs to do to keep her safe. like her life is meaningless without blair so she'd rather be the one to die than live without blair. which like yeah theres a flaw in her logic cause like if she dies shes still without blair and now blairs sad but yknow. maybe she'll figure that out someday not sure tho shes a little stupid
idk what else to write so ill just add little tiny things i added to her for fun her favourite movie is evil dead 2 (this is me projecting onto her), she moans when she pees, she would give everything to be a werewolf, she had her drivers license taken from her she still drives tho. she shouldnt but she does, she hates beer but drinks it anyways. i think she doesnt know theres other kinds of alcohol. no idea how she doesnt know maybe she just hates herself and wants to drink shit that tastes bad for fun,
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shes all i have left im going crazy
i also have a playlist for her if anyone besides me cares i care so fucking deeply. also my tag for her i feel also illustrates her personality well
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mrs-nate-humphrey · 1 year ago
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i hope I’m not bothering you by asking but i was just wondering about if they didn’t forget that dan and jenny were siblings in s3 (but still without changing the actual plot of the season tho, so like extra scenes) how do you think they would interact and scenes w/ them would be like? because i’m literally thinking about any time they ever interacted in s3 and the only two i can think of are a) in the episode of everyone trying to stop jenny from losing her virginity (which is weird) dan talks to jenny for two seconds before going over to vanessa and b) dan punching ch*ck (which was v satisfying to watch but like, any scene of them actually talking beforehand would’ve been great, thanks)
hiii you're not bothering me at all! i'm a bit late to respond to this because of like, medical reasons (all good now!) but i did want to respond to this eventually. i feel like i have already said something about the humphrey sibs but it's genuinely been so long that i barely remember what i said.
disclaimer that it is fuck o' clock in the morning so im not sure how coherent this ask is, also disclaimer that i havent watched gg in a while so i may be a lil out of touch.
trusting my mutuals to respond if anything i said makes no sense though kldfhgfdkl y'all know who you are you are the real ones
i think it'd be complicated but interesting if the humphrey sibs were there for each other consistently, because s3 is features queen jenny, and dan & vanessa being closer-than-before in uni, so i think there is some amount of distance in both their lives in terms of like. wondering why the other is doing whatever it is that they're doing. they're not both in high school any more, hell, they don't even live together any more, and dan for the first time in his life is a popular kid! jenny seems to be on top of the social hierarchy but of course nothing comes without a price! so there's like an inherent newness to both their situations which is unrelatable to the other. like however much dan wants to help jenny, or jenny wants to understand dan, they're both living thru stuff the other hasn't been through & so on. theyre in different eras of their lives, etc etc.
which isn't to say that they can't support each other, but it is to say that what that support would look like would be messy and confusing, i feel. they would have to actively learn how to be there for each other, or whatever else. there would be a learning period and also a "oh, you're not actually happy? i thought you were finally thriving what's wrong" kind of thing from dan @ jenny, possibly. because s3 is sad like that, it's a good time for dan (mostly??) and a horrible time for jenny.
i do think dan would not be okay with the way everyone is being oddly sexual towards jenny re: her virginity but like we see in 1x05 where he tells her off in front of her friends for wearing a dress that he compares to a cocktail napkin, sometimes he just .... does not realise that he is doing more harm than good/being misogynistic, etc. but as an anon once pointed out on here to me, comparing s1 dan to s3 dan isn't fair, because by the time we reach s3 dan HAS grown a lot as a character, and i honestly headcanon him to be far more feminist & thoughtful in how he treats the women in his life at that stage, compared to s1. so while i DO think he would take serious offense at how everyone treats jenny, i don't think he would fight for her in an obvious, confrontational way?
like. vanessa would. vanessa would literally SAY "what are you doing this is weird and invasive and creepy" but dan is non-confrontational to a fault. i do think he would like... do something about it in some other way, best case scenario talk about it to serenate alone, later, and tell them off, worst case scenario, classic gossip girl revenge plot where he gets them to break up or something silly like that. idk. don't look at me.
another thing that i think would be important / interesting is like. examining how all these relationships interact keeping the sibling bond in mind. because there was sooo much serena vs jenny tension in s3 and i feel it would've been interesting to actively explore how that was impacting both eric AND dan.
from an extra scenes perspective, i think honestly there would be? should be? conflict AND support. jenny's whole thing this season is that she is lashing out at her support system, isolating, trying to prove a point to the people around her. dan, as her big brother, is going to be extra protective probably, maybe even in ways that bristle her and piss her off. but at the end of the day, dan will drop anything & everything to be there for jenny (this is literally what we see of him in the pilot, in 1x01, so i think it's a foundational aspect of his character) so i think even if she tries to get him to fuck off, he will always love her & be there for her. unlike rufus humphrey, which im stil salty about.
oh, and that too. that's something i think about a lot. dan is caught in a strange space where his dad is civil to him but shitty to jenny, and... how does he navigate that? so much of jenny's behaviour in s3 makes sense to me when we look at the things she went thru in s1 and s2. so, for an interesting humphrey sibs arc i think the cumulative effect of all that keeping in mind how dan was / where he was at different points in jenny's story? and vice versa? those are things that can be layered and emphasized on to add more depth.
so yeah, sibling fights, sibling reconciliation, "what the fuck are you doing with your life" followed by "im sorry i did/said that, it was out of line for me" and maybe some gg schemery of taking down girls who are mean to jenny or getting georgie to leave dan alone together.
hope this answers it !I i am aware it is all over the place, hehe. whoops.
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rjschoicesstuff · 3 months ago
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ok i am curious about rex and i think you might've mentioned it before: how has her gender developed throughout their story, especially in meeting imtura and other orcs, etc? how was their gender perceived with humans vs later on and how did it affect her :3
OOO fun question, thank u!! I ended up rambling really bad but feel kinda bad answering an ask with a wall of text, so I'll give the tl;dr and put the rest under the cut hhaha
I'm not gonna interchange pronouns for the whole thing like I usually do for Rex LOL cause it's easier 4 me and also she wouldnt gaf
Rex was raised as a boy cause her adoptive parents couldn't tell if she was a boy or a girl when she was found. (I hc that all orcs have the same primary sex characteristics) Rex is made aware of this as a child but doesn't really have her 'oh wait im not just a guy im also a girl' moment when she starts being mistaken for a girl sometimes in her mid teens, after she started growing out her hair and wearing make-up and stuff because she liked it on her girlfriends.
Rex only really told those she's close to, but it's no secret either, she's just very indifferent about what pronouns and stuff people use for her so if people catch on that's nice, but if they don't it's whatever.
The only thing Rex is really 'strict' about is that she's Kade's brother and not his sister.
In Riverbend she never really changed her presentation, a mix of being hesitant to do this and just not really feeling the need to.
I'm still figuring out what I want my take on orcs to be like + feel like I need to replay the books first because I want to keep canon stuff in mind too, but don't think Rex is necessarily gonna change her perception on her gender identity once she interacts more with other orcs. But idk for sure yet! Because she does want to learn all about the culture and this will impact her and in the end gender is cultural too. (but also it's a thing that Rex does feel like an outcast among the orcs and doesn't fully fit into their culture + just generally lots of complicated feelings)
Things that do kinda apply tho: Imtura and Tyril are her first romantic relationships she had since figuring out her identity and there's something affirming about the way her relationships with them are vs the relationships she had with humans in Riverbend.
And also through Imtura + in shops on Flotilla she gets the chance to try on more feminine clothes that fit her frame and that way she gets to figure out her style more and does start branching out with clothes.
Because of the whole 'male orcs can get pregnant too'-thing I imagine the orcs all have like basically the same genitals and the difference between male and female orcs are secondary sex characteristics + some subtle differences that are present from birth (like horn color or something?). And humans aren’t widely educated on how to determine the sex of young orcs. (And even get it wrong often for adult orcs if they don’t present in a way that makes it easy to tell for humans)
When Rex and Kade were found, there were no other orcs that lived in Riverbend and so Rex’ parents just guessed she was a boy and decided to raise her like that. I imagine humans also just kinda view orcs as inherently more masculine so I think the thought process was also sorta like a boy would fit better or make her feel a little less like an outcast in the future? It was always sorta approached as like ‘Rex might feel differently in the future though’, and was sat down at around age 10 by her adoptive mom and was basically told ‘This is what we did when we found you but you get to decide what you are + the way your body changes the coming years might not match what you expect based off other boys’ and Rex was like ‘Ok.. I'm gonna throw big rocks into the lake now.’ (This feels so funny because it feels v like   modern accepting mom but I just didn’t really wanna go with anything like    she was also forced into being a manly man or whatever and it doesn’t feel v out of place because people seem chill with queer relationships in universe too)
As a child Rex was ‘a typical boy’ in a lot of ways, but she also really enjoyed playing with dolls and taking up feminine roles when playing pretend with other kids and stuff like that. 
I think due to being an orc she was at times perceived as more masculine than she really is? Like orcs just possessing a lot of qualities that are considered masculine by humans. (Like I always imagine a lot of humans would consider Imtura masculine while other orcs think she's pretty feminine) Rex never cared about being perceived as a man, like she’s just indifferent about it. Never like  let anything hold her back because it would make her seem effeminate or something like that. She also always felt more similar to tomboys than to boys.
When Rex went thru puberty and started getting a lot bigger she got real popular with The Girls and some boys in the village (attention she enjoyed lol). I think partly inspired by her girlfriends she also started experimenting more with her appearance, growing her hair out, wearing make-up and wearing jewelry whenever she wasn’t working. 
I think especially once she had long hair travelers passing through town would sometimes mistake her for a woman rather than a guy like everyone in town. Which she found she didn’t mind, she actually liked it. Felt important tho she doesn’t really understand why. Thinks it over for a while and basically decides to tell those closest to her that she figured out that she enjoys being referred to as a woman but also that she’s pretty indifferent about it all so like ‘do with that info what you want’. 
She insists that she’s still Kade’s brother tho, like she doesn’t want that to change. Kade often introduces her to new people like ‘This is my brother, her name is Rex.’ Rex doesn’t like turning it into a big deal or having a whole convo about gender, she’s always like  'dw about it, just be respectful'. She didn’t really start dressing differently after ‘coming out’. Genuinely doesn’t care about how people gender her or whatever, all that was important to her was that those closest to her knew. 
So that’s where she’s at when the story starts, like I’m not sure if it really ended up changing much after. I think Imtura (and Tyril) influenced it more in a way of like, Rex experiencing her first relationships after figuring herself out more + having relationships where she wasn’t expected to be ‘the man’ or whatever. And I think there was something affirming about that I guess? But also that feels like kinda one of those things where gender and being an orc intersect or sth?
I still haven’t really made up my mind about the whole orcs + gender stuff, especially because I’m planning to replay the series soon and will catch up with the lore then lol. I wish I had more to say haha 😭.
I was gonna start rambling about my ideas n shit so far but then I started rly derailing because it’s not really about Rex anymore, so I’ll leave it for another post, perhaps once I’ve replayed the books. Like when I try rn I find myself going back n forth a lot like ‘oh but that makes no sense, why would they do this or that? why would they be like that though..’ 
I honestly don’t think it’ll change anything for Rex though, like she’s already done all the self discovery when it comes to gender when she lived in Riverbend (tho I definitely think it would've been interesting if it hadn't been that way LOL but yeah). And it’s more gonna be like   general culture stuff that’s gonna have her feel all sorts of ways (identity crisis, disappointment that she still feels like an outcast, shame that she’s an orc but feels like she doesn’t know how to be an orc, the whole ‘human in an orc body’-thing but also healing + connecting to people she’s biologically related to who can tell her about her mom)
I think through Imtura letting her try on clothes + in shops on Flotilla Rex gets to try on more feminine clothes that fit her frame for the first time ever and that’s how she starts figuring out/expanding her style more. Like I always imagined her mom offering to make her a dress, but Rex declining because she’s not sure if she’ll like it and then all that time and fabric would’ve been wasted. I think Rex especially loves dresses and stuff for like special occasions, like the circumstances aside, she’s excited to dress up for that ball in undermount and there’s definitely something gender affirming about it.
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genericpuff · 2 years ago
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To me the problem with lore olympus and rachel is that she keeps the fan feedback too close to her chest, yes it does "affect her because she's very sensitive" which is smth rachel has said before in interviews and stuff, but the problem is that if u let fan opinions get in the way of ur work maybe u should set boundaries with the way u interact with fan content OF UR OWN WORK.
Im not sure if im explaining myself correctly, but the way rachel somehow always tries to prove criticism wrong and has slowly started ignoring the foundations she previously set is making everything just so flat and boring. She doesnt work with what we've already read but trying to somehow "fix" things that are sometimes not clear on the get go.
For example, u (and a lot of people) complained about how demeter explicitly said she always put persephone in white (when persephone has willingly been wearing that color through the entire series). Meanwhile, i remember having read a post from loreolympians on instagram (iirc) analyzing perse's change of color scheme during s2.
The problem with these things is that rachel has most likely been engaging with these fans who take for granted that she plans everything out or that everything has a deep meaning (which to a sense you should do, because having faith in the author is usually how to go about analyzing storytelling), and somehow it's become a strange echochamber and it results in these weird, very blatantly written to be noticed, details or moments htat try to be smart but are just flat bc rachel doesnt give any effort to anything else aand prefers telling rather than showing so she can feel like a good author when fans obviously point these out
Jdhdjd these are just my two cents and sorry for the long rant but yeah basically rachel should separate herself from the fandom and try to write more objectively and focusing on the narrative instead of taking every little criticism of her comic so personally
Honestly, I can get being a little squeamish around criticism, shit I've had analysis stuff on my work that's consisted of praise and it's still sometimes a little overwhelming to read (I've got a big one in my asks right now that took me like 10 minutes to get thru because I had to keep taking breathers and I still need to actually share it LMAO it's not even criticism! it's just got so much in it, ahfdsaklg)
When it comes to criticism, I still get a little "aw man" sometimes. I recently got feedback from Pyrrhic & Victoria on my Reaper redraws and even though I'm pals with them and know they aren't gonna be harsh, it's still an incredibly vulnerable position to put oneself in. Especially when it's projects that you hold very close to your sense of self.
RS has definitely taken it a little too far in tying LO to herself as a person. Criticism of the comic = criticism of her , and her fanbase seems to view this the same way, that if someone doesn't like the comic, that has to automatically say something about them as consumers when... it really doesn't. If anything their reactions to criticism say way more about them as people than the criticism existing lmao
What's more upsetting and simultaneously eye-rolling is the fact that Rachel goes out of her way to look for things to be upset about. On multiple occasions now over the past 4-5 years, she's snuck into groups containing criticism, attempted to strongarm power away from moderators so she could have criticism removed, and basically just ruined her own day over other people's opinions whether or not they were meant to be read by her.
It's why I stand by the fact that people shouldn't be directly messaging RS with criticism or hate because that would just be unsolicited cruelty. While she should be more open to criticism, that doesn't mean she needs to open the floodgates on her DM's because there are plenty of places for criticism to exist outside of her peripheral. But she keeps turning her head to look at it. Like, she'll throw a hissy fit over criticism that wasn't even really directly aimed at her, just meant for the sake of discussion. And that's where I'd really honestly wish she could just get a grip.
Like, I'm sure there's criticism of Rekindled out there already. Shit, I've had other projects from yeeears ago that ended up being made fun of outside of where I posted it. It sucked, but going out and actively looking for it for the purpose of erasing it from existence wasn't going to make me a better creator nor was it going to benefit me as a person.
It's a shitty reality, but the bigger you grow as a creator, the more you will have to separate yourself from your audience. You don't have to stonewall them completely, many people follow these works for the creators themselves, but you're not entitled to everyone's friendship and praise, and if the criticism really bugs you that much, then fucking work on the thing they're criticizing, don't double down on it or try to control how your audience consumes your content.
It's why it drives me so nuts when RS does infiltrate these groups because it's an incredible invasion of privacy as well as the creator-reader relationship. Q&A's, panels, and personal socials are where you go to interact with the creator. A creator sneaking into a Discord group or subreddit or FB group with the intent of "listening in" would be equivalent to J.K. Rowling showing up in person to a book club meeting. It's just disrespectful to your audience and makes you look like a huge asshole. Have some grace and for once, I'll tell Rachel and her fanbase to take their own advice - if you don't like it, don't read it.
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