#worst fashion advice ever is Just Be Yourself. who is myself??

[unnonexistence]

does anyone else have a weird fashion mismatch between what they think they like and what they actually like wearing?? half my style icons wear, like, waistcoats and wool trousers, but i'm usually at my most comfortable dressed like a bug type pokemon trainer. or a camp counselor.

[cup-of-starlight-waters]

things i was taught by my mother or learned for myself

always cut your nails wet: they are softer while wet, so less prone to splitting and also less likely to make gross noises. best time is after a shower or bath; failing that, after doing dishes, or soaking for five minutes in a bowl of warm water.

recipes don’t always scale proportionally: the clearest example of this is rice; the more rice you have, the less water you need to add. I don’t know why, but suspect it has to do with how much water boils into steam vs how much gets absorbed by the rice. Similarly, if you double a dressing recipe, you might want to cut back on the salt or spice. if you add protein to a dish to feed more people, you might not want to add carbs in proportion—or vice versa. if you are adapting a recipe to serve more or less people, you might want to do a quick search or ask someone’s advice

you are allowed to change recipes: this can be scary if you are just beginning cooking, but so many recipes can be adapted very easily. Don’t like chicken? use pork or beef in stead. out of pink beans? substitute black beans or chickpeas. it might taste different, but it probably won’t taste bad. pasta sauce taste super acidic? put in honey or sugar or chopped carrots next time. if you actually need to reduce the acidity and not the taste, a little bit of baking soda. want a vegetable with your pasta? throw in some chopped carrots or spinach. once you’ve followed enough recipes, you’ll get a sense for the basic cooking processes, and you can start trying new things—the worst that will happen is probably one night of not-so-great food, but more than likely you’ll develop several variations of a favorite recipe you can swap between depending on your mood or what you have in the pantry.

don’t leave hair in the shower: if you have long hair, it sheds, and if you leave shed hair in the shower it will slip down the drain and over time form a nasty clump that will slow or even clog your drain. it’s also very rude if you share a shower with anyone else. if touching your own hair grosses you out, grab some toilet paper or a paper towel and use it to wipe up your hair (this also works if you share a shower with someone who doesn’t clean up their hair).

learn how to do easy things for yourself: my mother tells me to never have the mechanics change the cabin air filter in the car when i get my oil changed, because we can buy them cheap online and it takes five minutes and no special tools to do. i don’t have enough interest in cars or time and energy to do more complicated processes, but this is something that takes five minutes and saves me around $20 every time. if something is difficult or time consuming or better if done by an expert, then go ahead and get it done professionally. but there are a lot of things that are very easy to do yourself if you take the time to look up how.

politeness goes a long way: smiling and saying hello and goodbye to people you work or share community with. asking for advice. asking if someone has the time to help you, and saying thank you even if they don’t. saying thank you. offering to help. giving sincere compliments, not because you want anything but simply because you think it’s true. these things establish that you acknowledge and respect and see the people around you, and the more you do it the better you’ll get at it. and when you do that, people are more likely to acknowledge and respect and see you in return.

don’t mix cleaning chemicals: the big bad, deadly, never ever ever mix together is bleach and ammonia, but in general you shouldn’t mix anything if you don’t know exactly what’s in them whether or not they will react in a harmful fashion. it’s usually safe to dilute chemicals with water, and wearing gloves and a mask can protect you if the cleaning solution is caustic or gives off fumes. you’re probably better off using something milder, though. a mild disinfectant for the bathroom and hot soapy water for everything else is sufficient.

use a separate towel for your face: ideally, you should wash bed linens and towels in hot water regularly, but your face is particularly vulnerable to acne and infections. don’t use the same towel to wipe both your face and your butt. get a hand towel that you use specifically and only for drying your face when it’s clean. if you can’t find the time or energy to wash your bedding regularly, buy extra pillowcases and swap those out instead.

buy clothes that fit (that you like): this one is hard, for so many reasons. clothes are expensive; it can be hard to find good fitting clothes for certain body types; it can be hard to let go of clothes you’ve had for a long time; it can feel shameful to have to pull a particular size off the rack, because our culture sucks. but you will be more comfortable if your clothes aren’t too tight (or too big), and if they don’t have holes in them. if money is an issue, go to thrift stores or charity bins, or (and this can be hard) ask if anyone you know has hand me downs. if you are younger, a lot of people get rid of clothes when they graduate college and pack up their dorm rooms. on the other side of things, if you’ve been wearing hand me downs and up for grabs clothing most of your life and now you have more financial flexibility then you did before, you are allowed to spend money on clothes that you know you’ll wear a lot. don’t buy something that doesn’t fit quite right just because it’s a bargain; chances are you won’t wear it as much because it’s uncomfy. if you have a hard time letting go of a piece of clothing that doesn’t fit anymore or is falling apart, consider repurposing it: make it into a pillow or blanket. cut out a favorite graphic print and stitch it onto a new shirt. give it to someone you know will love it as much as you did. try to find a replacement—sometimes it takes time. my favourite, comfiest underwear style got discontinued by the brand five years ago. i have worn my last pairs to their limit, and only just found a new brand/style that works for me. every time i had to toss a pair because it had holes felt awful because even holey they were more comfortable than the in-between-styles, but now that i’ve found my new style all the old ones must go. out with the old-that-wasn’t-working and in with the new-and-unfamiliar-but-functional!

this is how you cut a melon: - wash with soapy water, because of Germs - put on a cutting board with a rim (to catch the juices) so that the stem and end of the melon point to your left and right - get a garbage bowl or a bag for scraps - use a long knife to bisect the melon, forming two hemispheres with the stem on one half and the melon end on the other - use a large metal spoon to scrape out all the seeds and any soft flesh from each melon half into the trash can or garbage bowl - take one half, place it cut side down on the cutting board, and carefully slide the knife horizontally through the top inch or so of the melon. you should be able to see the flesh or the melon - use a knife (should be long but skinny, so there is some flex to it) and cut off the melon rind one slice at a time, by cutting from the top of the melon to the cutting board, curving the knife path to follow the curve of the melon - rotate the melon half and repeat, until the rind has been completely removed and only the flesh of the melon can be seen - slice or dice the melon half according to your preference - repeat on the other melon half, or cover in cling wrap and refrigerate for another day or two - enjoy delicious melon

reblog with your own things you have been taught, or don’t; enjoy delicious melon, or delicious something else; live and learn new things, or teach the things you’ve learned to someone else

[jittyjames]

for the fanfic writer asks!!

3, 11, 13, 19, 20, 24, 33, 39 (bc your fics drive me insane and i need more of your incredible works), 42, 45, 69 and 74!!!

sorry that i put loads, just choose whatever ones you want to answer out of the ones i’ve asked <3

YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO ANSWER THEM ALL BESTIE

3- ok so my process is basically non-existent, but i'll walk you through it anyway. so i'll have an idea for a scene literally at any point. sometimes it can be a single sentence or sometimes it can be a vague concept, but i always write it down. if i have my phone it's almost always going in my notes app. from there, i just kind of expand on the idea as it develops when i get back to my laptop. i tend to write the exciting and important scenes first in a very rough fashion, and then go back to fill in the blanks. then i go back and polish by combing over it for grammar mistakes and adding a few more details. that's pretty much it!

11- OOO! i'll do three for hamilton and three for jcs to appease both sides

FAV HAMILTON FICS AT THE MOMENT ARE a more perfect union by holograms (thanks to crys for introducing me to THIS), the monticello furlough by michelle_a_emerlind, and death of a nation by cyanspica

THEN HONORABLE MENTIONS!! LITERALLY ANYTHING BY YOU, CECE, AND XEN. I EAT THOSE UP EVERY. GODDAMN. TIME.

FAV JCS FICS AT THE MOMENT ARE obviously the incomparable ruined ambition series by @solarflicker (which i literally trip over myself to go read every time i get the email that it's been updated), picking up the palm fronds by onetrueobligation, and the cup that can't be filled by @ohsoldier (literally the good omens/jcs crossover of my dreams)

SO MANY MORE TOO!! BOTH FANDOMS ARE FILLED WITH SO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE! GO SUPPORT YOUR FANFIC WRITERS PEOPLE. FANFIC WRITERS AND FANARTISTS ARE THE ONES WHO KEEP FANDOM ALIVE.

13- "write for yourself, your dick, and your six closest friends." SHARED BY @fireballdance

19- my most used rating tag is mature, my most tagged ship is hamilton/laurens, my most tagged character is hamilton (obv lol), and my most used additional tag is hurt/comfort

20- i use a lot of rain imagery i think. actually i use a lot of weather imagery bc i'm annoyinggg. and then ofc i use aspects of my trauma in most of my fics (even ones you wouldn't suspect) but no one really would pick up on that since y'all don't know, but themes of abuse are certainly littered through out. obviously biblical imagery, too. i can't think of any phrases, SO IF YOU KNOW OF SOME THAT YOU NOTICED I'VE USED A LOT LEMME KNOW.

24- the worst advice i've ever gotten is if you're stuck, delete everything and start over. absolutely not. you can start over, but i wouldn't ever delete anything. even if i don't use lines in one fic, i can always recycle and put it somewhere else. NEVER DELETE. YOU'LL REGRET IT. TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

33- YES I WANT TO BE PUBLISHED. i have so many original novel ideas and i want to write southern gothic literature so badly. i doubt it will ever happen but that's the dream. i would also really like to write my own plays :))) but for now, i'm sticking to universes and characters i'm already familiar with

39- OOOO I HAVE SO MANY WIPS BC OF WHUMPTOBER (currently have a little bit over 30k words written 👀👀 and that's not even counting the kink stuff BUT I'M NOT GOING INTO THAT WITH YOU BC YOU ARE A MINOR) BUT LEMME PICK ONE I THINK YOU'LL LIKE

Philip’s forehead burned under his hand.  Alexander felt something in his chest and stomach plummet to what seemed like hell. He remembered the feeling of this. He remembered how hot his mother’s flesh had seared as she shivered against him, her arms wrapped tight and secure as she hummed shakily to him. He remembered how she soothed her hand over his hair as she whispered te quiero over and over.   He remembered her going still and cold. 

42- THE LAST FIC I READ WAS calm you and anoint you (envy) by a_trick_or_two_with_lepers AND ABSOLUTELY. I LOVE IT. GO READ IT RIGHT NOW.

45- I OBVIOUSLY WANT TO BREAK MY READERS' HEARTS. IT IS MY LIFE'S MISSION. I NEED Y'ALL ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH MY FICS

69- hmmm i'm always embarrassed when i post smut but i'm not really embarrassed that it exists. and the fics i were embarrassed about have long been deleted from the internet SO NOT REALLY ANY OF THEM I GUESS

74- if it's a fic posted in an obscure musical fandom about trauma and has my long-winded ass writing style, it's probably me :)

THANKS FOR THE ASK I HAD A LOT OF FUN ANSWERING THEMMM. ILYYY MWAH 💙

[thelonesomequeen]

I now think Chris and Alba’s relationship is transactional in the way you say, in the old-fashioned sense of her wanting to marry “up” and him fulfilling that long-ago-mentioned dream of having a wife who stays at home and who he takes care of. The relationship isn’t fake, but it seems unbalanced and icky for sure. Her showing up at his premiere (after skipping a bunch of her own events) in a LBD all done up and holding his stuff for him while he walks the carpet really had the air of “wife quietly supporting her husband while he works.”

I don’t think I’d put myself in this position unless I was married or at least engaged. So, I hope it works out for her because she’ll have to rebuild what she didn’t capitalize on if he happens to meet someone else. She’s just a girlfriend at this point and no matter what a man tries to sell you, you secure the bag first.

The best piece of advice I was given from older women when I started dating and got engaged is “always look out for you and protect you. No one will ever care for you the way you care for yourself. Enjoy the good times in relationships, hope they pan out well, but always be prepared to survive the worst” 🦎

[lost-in-the-80s]

You Don’t Want My Love - Chapter 6

Pairing: Duff McKagan x reader

Words: 3,286k

Summary: Guns n Roses hires a new tour assistant, but nobody thought that Duff would fall for her.

In This Chapter: It’s time for Duff to tell this story

A/N: This chapter will be a Duff's pov. His thoughts will be in italics.

Tag list: @roger-taylors-car​ @ladieswttda​ @teasid​ @metalheartofgold​ @slashscowboyboots​ @ginny-rose-sixx​ @rumoured-whispers​ @vinylvintage​ @metalupyourash​ add yourself to my tag list :)

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We stopped for a second, looking at each other. 

Reaching forward, I put a lock of her hair behind her ear.

She's so beautiful! I wonder how her lips would taste like…

I licked my lips at the thought. 

Control yourself, Duff! My conscience yelled at me.

“Y/N.” Tom’s voice broke the moment, making me roll my eyes internally. “Are you coming?” He pointed to the elevator.

What a good time to talk, Tom! 

“Yeah, just a sec.” 

She looked back at me with a small smile. “Good night, Duff.”

Fuck it! 

I leaned down, kissing her cheek lightly. Her perfume filled my nostrils making it hard to move away from her. “Good night, Y/N.” I finally breathed out, seeing her walk away.

God, I'm so fucked!

"God you're so slow" Axl passed by me, rolling his eyes. 

"What do you mean?" I furred my eyebrows, following him.

"Ask her out already." Izzy said, entering the second elevator with us and pressing our floor's button.

"As if it was a simple thing!" I leaned against the mirror on the wall. "You remember how she reacted the last time one of you idiots decided to give a little push" I made fake quotation marks with my fingers.

"Let's just say it was the wrong way to do that." Izzy glared at Axl, who looked away from the mirror in which he was fixing his hair.

"What!? I was using the opportunity!" 

"Yeah, and it worked so well…" Izzy said sarcastically.

"At least I tried! What did you do?"

"What did I do? I was the one who convinced her that he wasn't an asshole! Remember?" Izzy crossed his arms, leaning against the metal wall.

"Okay, take it easy. You're acting like a married couple!" I turned around, looking at myself in the mirror and throwing my jacket over my shoulders. 

The doors opened and we started walking down the corridor. 

"See you guys tomorrow." I said, listening to their responses before entering my room.

"Ah, shit!" Sitting at the edge of my bed, I ran my hands through my face. 

Kicking off my boots and throwing the jacket on an armchair I laid in bed, gazing at the ceiling with just the city lights illuminating the place.

"How did I get myself to this point?" Lighting up a cigarette, I took a long drag.

I knew the answer. And the answer was that there wasn't an answer. It just happened.

I still remember the first time I saw her. She entered the dressing room in a light pink skirt and a white blouse. Her eyes were slightly widened, as if she needed them fully open to be able to understand what to do.

Gosh, she looked like an angel. Completely different from what I had expected.

When the label called saying that they had got someone that wouldn't get distracted by us, I thought they would send an old lady, not someone pretty like her.

Later on that day, I entered the room and she was there alone, complaining about something in a low voice, causing a smile to appear on my lips.

She started stuttering and I thought that it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

There was just something about her. The way she talked and her facial expressions, they just captured my attention all the time.

Whenever I heard her voice I would stop and pay attention, because I wanted to learn more about her. She fascinated me, but I couldn't tell why.

Well, that was just the first week. Then she and Steven talked one day on the bus, it was casual, and I was listening of course. He asked what she was reading about and  she started telling him these airplane accident stories, and at that moment, listening to her voice, I knew, I had fallen for her.

During the first weeks, I didn't know how to make conversation. She was from a completely different world and I didn't want to scare her away or look dumb.

She seemed just too perfect and I was afraid that my interests wouldn't be enough to entertain her.

But then Izzy happened. He was always the quiet one, which means he had a lot of time to pay attention to the others, and he surely noticed the way I was acting.

"You look like a psycho." He said before drinking from his beer. We were backstage and she was on the opposite side of the room, making a list of what we needed her to buy.

"I can't help it." I puffed some smoke.

"Is it that bad?" 

"You have no idea, Stradlin." I turned around, getting a plastic glass and filling it with vodka.

"Talk to her then." He turned his head back, facing me.

"Easier said than done." 

"Come on, man! You're not shy!"

"It's just that…. Fuck…. Look at her!" I turned around, pointing at her with my glass. "She's not like us."

"So what?"

"I can't fucking sit in front of her and say 'are you into motorcicles?' I fucking know she's not! I wouldn't be able to hold the conversation."

"Well, then ask about something that you know she's into." He put his glass on the table. "She's always drawing or reading something.. ask her about those. Tom said she graduated in fashion, ask for fashion advice or some shit."

"You know what, you're right!" I placed my glass with the cig on the table, seeing that she was leaving the room.

Walking fastly, I found her in the corridor. "Mind if I go with you?" 

She jumped a little, startled by my presence. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." 

"It's fine." She smiled and I forgot what I had apologized for.

"Are you sure you want to come along? I'm just going to Walmart. It's going to be boring." 

"Nah, it's not going to be boring," I started walking, leading us towards the exiting door. "Plus, I'm a professional shopping cart driver." 

That was the first time I got to spend time alone with her, and it made me even more sure about what I was feeling.

After that, I started trying to talk to her every day. I'd ask about what she was listening to, what she was drawing and things like that. When there wasn't anything to ask about, I'd ask her about her favorite griffs and listen to her talking for lots of minutes, even though I wouldn't be able to remember any of that. 

She was sweet and dreaming. God how I love the way her eyes always sparkle when she talks about something she loves.

She was delicate and light. Always in a good mood, always trying to be serious and have a firm grip on us, and falling miserably after a few minutes. She was too nice to be strict with anyone.

But I knew she was out of reach. She would never be interested in someone like me. And every day I wanted to get away from her and detoxify myself from her presence in my mind. But then I'd wake up to her voice and I'd forget completely about those plans.

It was becoming hard to move on with the basic tasks. I'd think of her before going to bed and I'd wake up doing the same. I'd try to stay with her the most I could and when she was away I would be thinking if she missed me in the way I missed her.

And then it became too much to hold. Izzy thought I was just interested in her, but he could never imagine that was loving that chick.

So I decided to talk to someone. I needed someone that wouldn't judge me and that could be nice to me in this situation. So I talked to Steven. And that was the worst decision I've ever made.

The next day, all the guys knew about it, and that's when this fucked up plans about putting the two of us together started.

I didn't need their help. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to ask her out, but I was waiting for a good moment. I'd ask her to go out for dinner or something natural, something that wouldn't scare her away.

But of course, nobody thought in the same way as I. 

I still remember that day by the pool. Steven had come up with the idea, and we all agreed. I remember that I didn't think much of it, but that was until I saw her in a bikini.

I tried my hardest not to stare. I knew I'd make her uncomfortable if she noticed my gaze. But damn, that was hard to ignore.

I was thinking that that was one of the best days of my life. Not because we were the most requested song on the radio, but because she hugged me.

That was the first time she touched me. Our skins touched and I couldn't help but feel that that's how they were meant to be.

The afternoon arrived and we went for a walk through the city. That city was so fucking boring! Even the record shops were lame, and I was so afraid and she'd think it was boring too and would decide to go back to the hotel.

So when I saw that car/bike rental shop, I grabbed the opportunity with my two hands

To feel her pressed against my back, her arms circling my waist… man! I couldn't even put into words how I was feeling.

But just like everything good lasts for little, she wasn't feeling well, and we went back to the hotel.

A part of me was concerned about her wellbeing. But another part had the impression that her headache was just an excuse, that she had hated spending the afternoon with me and just wanted to stay away from me.

Then my amazing friends came with the brilliant idea of throwing a party. I knew that was the worst idea ever, but if that would mean that I could see her again that day, then I was down for it.

That could've been a magical night. But I drank too much and had to stay away so I wouldn't say some stupid shit to her.

The room was full of women, but I could just look at her. The way she danced to that stupid ABBA song made my heartache and I yelled at myself internally not to approach her.

And then came that truth or dare game. I still don't know who came up with that, but I hate that person!

Axl, just like always, couldn't hold himself, so he dared her to kiss me. Ahh, how I hate that moment!

I remember the way she looked at me, and how startled she seemed when she realized I was looking at her. How uncomfortable she felt and how her cheeks grew red with embarrassment.

If I was sober, I would've punched Axl.

But a small part of me had hope. Hope that she'd say yes, we would kiss and I'd ask her to go on a date with me.

And then she answered, I still remember how sober her voice was when she said that she couldn't.

Couldn't. That's a funny word. When you can't do something, it's because someone or something is stopping you from doing that. And nobody was doing that.

Don't. That's what she should've used. She didn't want to do that. And it broke me. She didn't want me. 

And I don't know why I got so surprised. That was obvious. I had been feeding a fake hope for months, but deep down I knew that it wouldn't ever happen.

And then everything became numb. I didn't hear the music, nor what they were saying. I just saw her throwing her shoes at someone and leaving, but I didn't have the energy to go after her and apologize for my friends.

So I just got up, getting another bottle of vodka and allowing myself to drink until I could forget about the reason why I was drinking.

The night went in a blur. I just remember parts of it. A chick paying Tommy Lee a blow job during the truth or dare. Someone hitting a chandelier and Izzy taking a photo of me with it. Me yelling for everyone to leave the room at 4 am.

The next morning I woke up with a terrible hangover. Looking to my side there was someone. She had the same hair color as Y/N and for a brief second, I thought that she had come back to the party and we had finally got together. But then I saw it wasn't her, it was a groupie.

She woke up and I asked her to get dressed and leave. I tried to be calm, but I know that was rude on my part. But fuck, if I saw that chick there for much longer I'd start yelling at me. Y/N has always said about how she wouldn't be into a guy who sleeps with a different woman every night.

But what was the meaning of feeling guilty for that? Sleeping with groupies or not, she'd never want me. 

So I decided to recover from my hangover. Searching inside the bedroom I found another vodka bottle and I allowed the burning sensation in my throat to distract myself from her.

I couldn't even look at her that day. Every time I heard her voice or saw those eyes I remembered that she didn't want me, and it made me feel ten times worse.

And then that stupid dude came around. Checking her up and down and looking at her all the time.

It made my blood boil.

I wanted so bad to get up, push him against a wall and start beating the shit out of him. But I couldn't, so I just found more vodka, but nothing seemed to distract me anymore.

They could be the perfect couple, I could tell that. The type who has 2 children and lived in Bel Air. Just the thought of the two of them together made me clench my fists.

He announced he was leaving, and I thought I'd have some relief, but he had to ask her to accompany him.

I wanted to stay cool. I wanted to stay in the dressing room and get ready for the gig, but I couldn't control myself anymore, and when I realized I was opening the exiting door.

The two of them were talking, I heard him asking her out and only God knows what I wanted to do to him at that moment.

I told him she couldn't. I wanted him to tell me that I didn't talk for her or some shit like that. I wanted him to give me a reason to punch him. But he decided to be polite.

He left and she asked me why I had talked to him like that, and it drove me wild. She was defending him? In front of me? 

I can still picture the way her eyes lost their shine and how she dropped her shoulders at my words. I hated myself for making her feeling like that. But I was too drunk to think straight, so I just left.

I stopped talking to her after that. I was too upset, and I didn't want her looking at me like that again, it would just make me hate myself even more. So I kept my distance.

During the first weeks of the pause, I refused to go out. I just sat inside my new house, drinking and missing her.

But Slash was a good friend. He showed up telling me how pathetic I looked. Making me go out and live a little.

I opened up with him.

"I'm feeling like shit, man!" I said before drinking from a beer bottle. We had gone to The Rainbow.

"You need to start thinking dude! Y/N is not the type of chick you'll get in a truth or dare game…"

"You say as if that was my idea." I glared at him.

"What I'm trying to say is… she's different. She's not around you 'cause you're in a band. Just be nice to her and then ask her out for some romantic shit." He gestured with his hands.

"You talk as it was simple," I finished the bottle, placing it on the counter. "and even if it was, she probably hates me now anyway."

"Bullshit!"

"No. I mean it, man! You don't know the way she looked at me that day. I hurt her." 

"Hey raise that head!" Slash said, making me look from the counter to his face. "She's into you, you just need to show her that you're nice again."

"Oh yeah, of course, she's into me." I said sarcastically.

"You're really stupid, aren't you?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "You need to pay attention to the way she acts around you, you're the only one that makes her get clumsy and shy."

He drank from his bottle. "Plus, she looks at you in the same you look at her." 

Those words got stuck in my head. He was right, I had never seen her nervous around the others. Maybe she was into me. 

But still, I had fucked things up that afternoon.

That day I decided that I'd be my best version to her when we got back from the pause. I wanted her to see how I'd be with her if we were dating, and maybe, if she thought I was good enough, she'd give me a chance.

No pressure, no "plans". I wanted it to go natural, as smooth as it could be.

My guilt for the way I talked to her got twice as big when Izzy told me they had met and that she thought it was her fault.

How could she think she had any fault for me being an ass? Dude! I don't deserve this girl. But still, I wanted her.

Thank God Izzy was a good friend. Managing to make her feel calm and even see my asshole attitude as something from the moment.

After that, I was anxious about returning to the tour. I couldn't wait for a chance to be close to her and listen to her cute accent.

And then I saw her, I was at the airport with the boys, she was far away, but it was enough to make my heart miss a beat.

She was even prettier than before. She clearly enjoyed the pause and I just wished I had been there to enjoy it with her.

Asking her for a hug was a bold move, but I had to try, and it was worth it. 

Smelling her perfume and feeling her hugging me put me in such a calm state that for the first time, I didn't freak out about being on a plane.

And now I had lost the perfect opportunity to kiss her, all thanks to Tom.

Maybe it wasn't the most romantic way to do that, but I could feel that tension, the same tension that was created when we hugged before. As if the two of us were finally back home.

Looking to the side I checked the time, 3 am. Fuck. I had been thinking about her for hours now. 

Getting up, I stripped off my clothes, getting under the covers. I could still feel her skin pressed against my lips if I concentrated enough, and it was enough to send me to sleep, wishing that tomorrow we could spend more time together.

[justcourttee]

And They Were Roommates-Pt 8

Marinette didn’t know what to think. The Damian she met two weeks ago had disappeared, and in his place was the charming man she had grown to love over the past three years. It made her doubt everything she thought she knew about their relationship.

The first night had been hard. She woke several times in tears to the point that her pillowcase was soaked through. She could hear his level breathing from outside her door, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to face him.

The second night was worse. Night terrors began to set in and she found herself reaching out for company, even if it was his. She met him on the couch and curled into his side like she did a hundred times before with Chloe and Adrien. He seemed to understand as he didn’t push her to talk, only let her use him for comfort.

By the third night, she was able to have a conversation with him, longer than the awkward five minutes they had managed the other day. He finally opened up about his family, even telling her his real last name, Wayne.

“Why go by Al Ghul then?”

“Most people here Wayne and think money and favors, it’s unpleasant and draining. If I want a fresh start, I use my mother’s name, but it eventually falls through and I have to move all over again.”

“But why run from your family so often? I’d do anything to see mine one more time.”

Her eyes teared up, but she shook her head quickly, trying to stop before they really started. Damian studied her for a moment before offering her a small smile.

“They’ve always been very overwhelming. I went from high expectations with my mother to even higher expectations from my father. He wanted me to unlearn everything she had taught me and became angry and disappointed when I didn’t head in his every direction.”

He paused, noticing the tears still lingering on her eyelashes. Gently, he reached forward, brushing them away.

“Mother was to obey or be killed, which sounds terrible, but someone I liked better in a sense. At least I knew that any disappointment would be dealt with directly, nothing less. Father was angry, taking his anger out indirectly through comments and tough training, but the disappointment was worse. He’d compare me to his other kids, all adopted nonetheless, but it didn’t matter. He held them with high respect and praised them often.”

“That-” Marinette paused, unsure if she wanted to continue, but his smile was inviting her to speak her mind. “That sounds awful. Expectations are supposed to be set by yourself, not your parents. They’re just supposed to be there for support and the occasional guidance.”

“Is that how your parents were?”

Marinette bit her lip, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

“I’m sorry Angel, I wasn’t sure if you were ready to talk yet. I won’t bring it up again until you say you’re ready.”

“No,”she shook her head, much to his surprise. “I need this.”

Taking a deep breath, Marinette dove in, taking several small pauses to wipe away her tears.

“My parents were so supportive of everything I ever did. I tried sports when I was younger and while I wasn’t bad, it wasn’t my passion. My mother bought me an art set when I turned nine and it was like magic. All of a sudden, the world was whatever I wanted it to be. When I turned eleven, I discovered designing. I mentioned it once to them and when I came home from school, there was a dressing mannequin and a sewing machine sitting in my room.”

Her eyes glazed over as she stared at her hands in her lap. It seemed like such a distant memory at this point. His hand reached into her sight, moving toward her’s.

“May I?”

She nodded as she watched him intertwine their fingers. He waited patiently for her to continue, rubbing small circles into the back of her hand using his thumb.

“I was so happy with them. When I first was given the scholarship offer for Metropolis University, I didn’t know what to think. Chloe’s mother offered me a mentee spot if I traveled overseas, seeing as the flight to New York was only an hour from here. My parents knew what it meant for my possible future in the fashion industry, and to them, it was a no brainer. It was hard seeing them only for the breaks and then even harder when Professor Brookes offered me a spot in her workfield.”

“Your parents sound amazing. The way I grew up was- unconventional to say the least. I can’t even imagine where I would be today if I had that kind of support.”

A small smile stretched across Marinette’s face as her eyes rose to meet his.

“You sound like Chloe and Adrien.”

“They were close to your parents as well?”

“Adrien grew up in a very unconventional lifestyle as well. His mother disappeared when he was 12, leaving his father a broken man. He distanced himself from Adrien, only communicating with him when business was involved. Adrien tried to come out to him when we turned 16, but he scorned him, telling him he was confused and that he either dropped the subject or Gabriel would deal with it himself.”

Damian frowned, his eyebrow furrowing at her words.

“That’s ridiculous, his father could be runner up to my mother for worst parent of the year.”

“Yeah, Gabriel sucks. He still does. My parents allowed him to crash at my house that night, and every night after that they insisted he came over for dinner. They talked him through his teenage years, offering him advice and unconditional love. It was exactly what he needed to go public about his sexuality, my parents on either side of him at the press conference, offering support where they could. There was nothing his father could do at the point; if he spoke out, he would be seen as homophobic. Adrien held my parents on such a high pedestal after that.”

“And what about Chloe?”

Marinette shook her head, a small laugh escaping, shocking the two of them.

“Chloe used to be a terror when we were younger, but to be fair, she was being enabled at every turn. Her mother was a workaholic, never around and her father was a corrupt politician. She bullied me alot.”

Damina raised his eyebrow, but Marinette simply waved him off.

“I know what you’re thinking. It’s what everyone said when I offered to be her roommate in college. ‘How can I be her friend after that?’ It’s simple. When we were 14, she really fell off the deep end. She helped Gabriel do some very terrible things out of her feelings of anger and loneliness. Everyone resented her for it, and even her own parents turned their backs on her. Instead of offering her help, they left her even lonelier than before.”

Marinette leaned forward, picking up a picture frame from the table. Leaning over, she allowed Damian to take a closer look. The picture depicted a happy family. Marinette’s parents in the back with Marinette and the two blondes in front of them. The moment frozen as everyone was caught mid laugh at some unseen humor.

“Chloe fell into a depressive state and one night, my mother found her on our doorstep, tears pouring down her eyes. My parents brought her inside, wrapped her in a large blanket and offered her a mug of hot cocoa. They knew who she was, they knew what she had done, but they could never leave her outside, they could never leave a child alone. She apologized for everything, telling me how her therapy helped her realize how terrible she was when we were younger. She was genuine.”

“How could you tell?”

Marinette pulled the picture close to her chest, a tear slipping from her eye.

“Chloe was a lot of things, but she never lied to me. She always believed in what she was saying, no matter how crazy it was. That night was a new beginning. It was rocky at first, but between myself and Adrien, we helped her back onto her feet. Pretty soon, she joined family dinners too. We did it every night for two years and I can’t tell you how much joy it brought to everyone, especially my parents. The one thing they loved more than each other, was loving others.”

A few more tears slipped out before she could stop them. It felt like she ripped off a bandaid she forgot was there. She knew her friends needed to know, Damian’s grim stare confirmed he was thinking the same thing. But it was too much. It was still too raw and the emotions swimming in her head from their deaths and from Damian’s confession. She couldn’t help them through their grief. Not yet.

“Marinette, I could tell them if you would like.”

She shook her head as she closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing again.

“It’s something I should do. I just need one more night.”

He nodded in understanding, not pushing the matter anymore, something she was grateful for. Marinette sat down the picture and picked up the pen beside it. She handed it to Damian before settling back into the couch.

“Could you draw me something?”

“What would you like me to draw?”

Marinette shook her head, leaning in his direction.

“Anything.”

And so he began, sketching on his wrist, his eyes occasionally glancing over at hers as she watched her own wrist intently. He watched her eyes start to flutter shut only to fly open as she fought the exhaustion. But it was a losing battle as she finally fell into his side, soft breaths escaping her parted lips. He placed the finishing touches before capping the pen, tossing it gently to the coffee table.

“Goodnight Angel.”

He reached over to the lamp, pulling the string hard, plunging them into darkness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   Marinette sat up abruptly to the sound of the banging on her door. Her first instinct was to reach into the drawer under the coffee table, pulling out a small pink container. She stood to move closer as a second round of banging commenced. Her eyes darted back to the couch where Damian had sat last night.  

It was empty, a small piece of paper on the coffee table promised her that he would return soon. Creeping towards the peephole, Marinette took a cautious look, only to find it covered by whoever was outside. With a deep breath, Marinette flung open the door, raising the pink container to her defense.

Her would be assailant fell to the ground, grabbing his eyes as he let out a string of curses that would’ve expelled him from any school he could’ve ever attended. She looked up to find two more startled figures, both had their hands held in a surrender position. Marinette lowered her defense, her eyes narrowing at the two men.

“Who are you?”

“She really pepper sprayed me! You guys promised it would just aggravate Demon Spawn, you didn’t tell me I would be assaulted!”

The man on the ground sat up, still rubbing his bloodshot eyes, tears pouring down his face.

“I’ll ask you one more time, and just to be clear, you give me anything other than an answer to my question and I don’t need the pepper spray to kick your sorry asses. Who. Are. You?”

Two of them shared a panicked look, neither daring to move to help the third man up.

“Well you see sunshine, you are not who we were expecting either, in fact-”

The man with the bloodshot eyes rose only to be slammed into the wall by the girl. Marinette gripped his arm tightly behind his back, pushing his front side further into the concrete wall. Leaning all of her weight into him, she ignored his cries to ‘tap out’, her glare demanding a better answer from the remaining two.

The smaller one nudged the taller guy forward, neither looking eager to talk.

“Well you see, it’s a funny story really-”

“I’m losing my patience.” Marinette pulled her hostage’s arm further back, causing another string of curses.

“It’s just that-”

“They’re my idiot brothers.”

Marinette turned her head to see Damian standing behind them, an amused expression evident on his face. He was holding a tray with two coffees in them, a bag from Marinette’s favorite bakery in his other hand.

Horrified, Marinette let go of the man, allowing him to drop to the ground, rubbing his shoulder as he scooted away from her.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. It’s just between the banging on the door and then covering the peephole, I just assumed the worst. Please, come in, I’m so sorry.”

Marinette repeatedly apologized as she moved to help her poor victim up off the ground. 

“Don’t offer him help habibti, you’re too generous. Leave him on the ground.”

She shook her head, gently gripping the man’s good arm as she helped him to his feet. He moved quickly out of her grasp, his expression a mixture between weary and respect.

Damian stepped in front of her, his glare causing each man to fold in on themselves, none expect the man from the ground even dared to meet his eyes.

“Besides, you were asking the wrong question. It doesn’t matter who they are, it only matters what they’re doing here and how soon can they leave?”

Tag List:

@damianette-is-life @ladybug-182 @fusser90 @thestressmademedoit @dast218 @thezestywalru @jardimazul @olynix @dorkus-minimus @xahriia @kris-pines04 @urbanpineapplefarmer @moonlightstar64 @itsmeevie01 @little-lady-bird @alexandriamw @lozzybowe @emmdaenovice @loysydark @toodaloo-kangaroo @jessigurl-design @aegyobutpsycho2 @stark-morgoona @tis-i-beanbandit @rebecarojas07 @abrx2002 @ash-amg @loveswifi @heaven428 @dreamykitty25 @marinettepotterandplagg @smolplantmum @clumsy-owl-4178 @books-and-left-behind-journals @joejoejodee @iloontjeboontje @maybemanymuffins @zalladane @mysupporthyperfixations 

[silenceofthecookies]

Black Clover matchup for @nakunakunomi

Matchup for me :D No gender preferences I am a biromantic ace. 

Your age: 24 

Your general appearance - most striking features, your fashion style, etc.

Answer: Chubby mermaid lol. Long curly hair almost all the way down my back. Red at the moment, but I’ve had all colors of the rainbow. Ears pierced multiple times and a septum ring whenever I leave the house. My general style is comfy alternative, loads of black, boots and ripped jeans but baggy shirts and sweaters. I don’t like drawing much attention to my chest because my boobs are a very prominent feature. Hourglass figure with extra minutes: so there’s boobs and ass but also a tummy and such. I have dimples when I laugh and a whole bunch of moles over my body. I like a killer liner and mascara but don’t necessary wear makeup every day. I like 4 tattoos and waiting for that fifth one. 

Your MBTI, western zodiac chart, etc.

Answer: INFP (mediator), Scorpio sun, Libra moon, Pisces ascending. Year of the rat. I’d say my MBTI type is pretty accurate and while I don’t have many of the bitchy traits often assigned to Scorpios, I do have some of the passion towards things I care about and a generally jealous and stubborn personality. 

Your personality, how you perceive yourself and how people around you perceive you.*

Your hobbies, interests, life goals etc.*

Answer: Stubbornness and some jealousy (that is always internalized) are my worst traits. I lack self-esteem and confidence and get anxious in new situations. Once I am around people I trust I blossom open and become more giggly (lame jokes and such) my humor is about 50% puns and 50% sarcasm. I am quick-witted with ‘mean’ remarks but I will never intend to offend or cause harm to anyone. Tough exterior comes with a soft interior. I tend to overthink and worry a lot and will usually put a friend’s needs above mine. I often have people coming to me for advice or to help them calm down. I will be honest in the softest way possible, even if the things I need to say aren’t necessarily nice. I want my friends to flourish. I get easily distracted by cute things and can really enjoy beautiful sights, nice food, good company… i am heavily introverted but I do need the handful of people I care about to flourish myself.

I accumulate facts and know loads of small things about a lot of things. I like adding in fun facts every now and then but sometimes I come across as a know-it-all and then I will get really self-conscious about it. I either talk up a storm nonstop or turn into myself and get really really quiet. 

Your favorites, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, fears.*

Answer: anything creative: reading and writing, drawing (although I’m terrible at it), pixel art. Singing, making music, playing instruments, DIYing things. I am quite good with makeup and wigs, and I cosplay but the sewing I still struggle with. I love acting and gaming as well although I don’t spend that much time on them.

I am super heavily interested in true crime, cases, and the psychology of murderers and such. I tend to get overexcited talking about such cases, never celebrating violence, but just being very fascinated by what a human brain can do. I also just really love riddles, mysteries, and solving them.

I’d love to become a teacher or a professional dog trainer. I love animals more than I love people and if I could work with dogs every day of my life that’d be amazing. An unrealistic goal would be to sing for a living, or do musicals. But I don’t think that’s ever gonna happen. 

Any additional info you would like to share, fun facts, etc.

Answer: food! Mainly Asian dishes (from all of Asia) and pastas. I love cooking and experimenting in the kitchen and trying out new things to taste. I’m vegetarian but not vegan and I will try everything that’s not meat or fish at least once! I love all kinds of animals, not only your average pets. I will also go pet the cows, and in the zoo you’ll have to drag me away by my ankles from the reptilians and the aquarium. I am fascinated by them and I love them. I love plants and flowers, and if you’d let me be, Id have a small jungle in my house with all kinds of plants and animals. I just love taking care of them, talking to them…

I dislike arrogant people, people who are rude against serving staff. I dislike impoliteness and laziness in the sense that other people are suffering from your lack of work. If I am in a group project I will never procrastinate because it can drag the whole group down, it’s okay to be lazy if it only impacts yourself.

I am afraid of loneliness and the fact that everyone I know just pretends to like me while talking behind my back and secretly hating me. I am not easily startled by monsters, animals, and such, but I do get a little paranoid if I have to walk in the street in the middle of the night. (a side effect from the true-crime consumption) 

Answer: I think I added most things in the other walls of text (sorry they are so long). But when it comes to relationship and goals around that there are these things that I think are most important: 

Love language is mostly quality time and words of affirmation, and that’s what I like too, as well as soft PDA and affections: cuddles, kisses, hand holding… I like spending time together, and even more so I like actually doing things together: sharing hobbies, going out, dates, dinners, walks, adventures, travels… all the things! :hellmo: 

Patience, because I have some anxiety issues as well as fear of commitment. I will definitely need some reassurance. Also consent is the sexiest thing in the world, and that’s coming from an ace person.

Honesty, liars are out. I have a lot of trouble trusting again once there has been a breach of trust. White lies for surprises and such is one thing, but any intentional lying in order to avoid confrontation is an absolute dealbreaker. 

I match you with...

Dorothy Unsworth!

Despite her being asleep a lot of the time, Dorothy notices more than she lets on. She can see straight through the front someone is putting up and see what they are really feeling. This really helps in letting her support you, who is always supporting others. She’ll remind you that sometimes you need to take a break or that you need to focus on yourself instead of others. With her infectious smile and her own absurd sense of humour, she’ll do her best to cheer you up, or at least to distract you from whatever is bothering you.

Dorothy is very patient and has no rush with any relationship. Everything has its own time and waiting for that time to come it part of the fun, right? She’s also very understanding of your anxiety and is able to adjust her energy to the situation, keeping it low when you need comfort and reassurance, and going straight back to high when you’re feeling better and just want to have some fun.

Dorothy may seem very cute and girly, but she is interested in true crime as much as you are. The gruesome details of a case are not wasted on her and she will gladly talk with you about these cases. In her time as a magic knight she has seen her own fair share of true crime as well and she will gladly share anything that’s not confidential or dangerous.

Her love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. Not a day will go by where Dorothy won’t hug you from behind, kiss you between your shoulder blades and tell you she loves you. She loves loving you and making you feel loved. When she’s in love, keeping her lover safe, emotionally and physically, is her number one priority. She won’t give you even a second to doubt her love for you whenever you’re together. She’s very conscious of your boundaries and makes sure to not cross them.

Not a single lie will leave her mouth, unless as a joke, which will be very clear when she tells it. She is a knight, an enforcer of justice and peace, and lies are not in her book. Teasing, however, very much is, though she prefers to tease you with truths instead of with jokes. If there’s truth to the teasing, it’s just that much more effective.

You want this small strong captain to be putty in your hands? Cook for her, or cook with her. Dorothy greatly enjoys the good things in life and food is definitely on her list of good things. Her preference is mostly sweets, but she knows she needs to eat healthy food as well and she’s not picky when it comes to her dinner. The only need she has is that it tastes good, and that’s something you with your amazing culinary skills can definitely provide!

[hi-rubi]

hi Rubi this is 👁 anon!! I sent you an ask off anon but I figured I’d send you another and try to say something else. I read another person’s ask that said your writing balances toxicity and redemption well, and I have to say I really agree with that. I love that you don’t shy away from having your characters do shitty things and then having them suffer through the consequences of said things. I think that’s a really mature way of exploring and handling certain darker topics, and it does show that deep down you believe (or want to believe) that people can change and evolve and be better, whether for themselves or for love etc! it’s been something I think about a lot - the way that in your stories, no one is inherently unlovable; characters who believe that eventually realize their own worth, and they learn to fight for themselves.

(sorry this is gonna get long and I hope this doesn’t count as trauma-dumping?) recently I kinda took a step back from a friendship I had with my ex-crush: I really liked him, he didn’t like me that way, and it was hard on both of us? like we changed. we were best friends for a few months and he’d be the first person I talked to when I woke and the last I talked to before I slept. at some point he called me his best friend and deliberately made time to talk to me (like he worked on his class work beforehand so he could message me during class). and when he got a lot more distant I actually would just wrestle with myself and the feelings of loneliness and rejection. I once wrote you a very rambly long anon that I’m slightly ashamed about (bc I really shouldn’t have trauma-dumped in your inbox), but anyway... I realized there were some key differences between us (funnily enough the dispute was about the Mineta update; I was like “omg not Mineta” and he was like “these people suck for looking for representation in the wrong places”) and then I realized... this wasn’t good for me. I tried to not love him (and I will say I’m not in love with him anymore for sure) but it always hurts when you’re the one that’s more invested, right? not his fault that he’s not as invested though bc we don’t owe each other anything. so yeah I’m just taking steps back to not be so dependent on him (bc it’s draining to the both of us)! (it’s kinda sad that I’d been writing in my journal since April about how sad I’d felt about him distancing himself, and that it’s taken Four Months for me to actually stand up for myself and say what I wanted to say, but at least it’s done now! that’s something to be proud of, right? I never used to stand up to people I loved. I’d internalize everything, and then my self-esteem would just sink lower and lower. I’m glad that while this guy wasn’t It for me, at least he’s decent enough and cares about my feelings.)

anyway this long rant is just for me to say that reading your fics has been cathartic for me. the first time I read your fics (I think the rich boy Shoto one), I was sobbing by the time I read to part 5. I felt really lonely and I was wishing he would love me. but like slowly as I kept reading and kept thinking and evaluating, I realized I don’t need /him/ to love me. and sure I’m not perfect and I might have some of my own kinds of toxicity, but that doesn’t mean I’m not worth loving! I’m still working hard to love myself. I’m learning to be compassionate with myself while not giving myself excuses for toxic behavior (eg passive-aggressiveness, overthinking, etc).

I just wanted to tell you that you are a beautiful person (both in and out!!). I could tell this not just from what you write, but from how you interact with the people in your inbox, whether anonymous or not. you have such a big heart, and you pour so much of yourself into your writing. I can see how it’s been both cathartic and perhaps a little destructive to keep ruminating on certain scenarios you’ve dealt with. but also I’m so glad for you that you’re starting to see more hope and light, and hopefully you’re starting to need this coping mechanism less. you are wonderful, not just in what you give others, but in what you are.

when I was looking for MHA smut in the tumblr tag I wasn’t expecting to feel all of this and to experience this change. thank you for that. know that in your journey, there are people who are rooting for you!! love, 👁 anon

p.s. I read your ask about New York and I hope you feel a little more at home now!! you sound like an amazing person to be friends with. even though I’m nowhere near New York (I’m moving from my country to the UK which is still far from NYC), I hope someday I’ll be able to befriend someone like you! and I hope you enjoy the city and the friendships and the drinking and all of it 💜 take care Rubi! known you are loved. the stars cast their love on you.

Ohhhhh my gosh. Eye anon I have so many thoughts putting under cut.

I literally went through the exact same thing. That guy was the reason I wrote half my pieces. Like, scumbag bakusquad and all these other works were about HIM. I know SO WELL how you must feel right now. It is the worst, most painful fucking feeling in the world. The only reason I got over that guy was literally because I went on Wellbutrin (an antidepressant), and I realized my fixation with him (and other guys/things in the past) was quite literally because of my mental illness.

Please, please, please, PLEASE cut him off entirely. I think you mentioned you took a step back from your friendship; I want you to stop reaching out and messaging him completely. You don't have to take my advice, but if I could go back in time and tell myself something, it would be this:

Romanticize your life. Start working out and eating healthy. Get to a point where you feel good about your body. Switch up your fashion and wear shit you'd never normally wear. Experiment with makeup. Meet and talk to as many new people as you can. Go to new places in your city, whether it's a cool new library 30 minutes away or a pretty flower exhibit at the arboretum. Fall deeply in love with your friends and your family. If I were to write a story about you: you are literally a kind, beautiful main character who is moving to the new UK for a fresh start after being hurt in the past, and learns to love herself and others in the process.

Above all, never, ever get upset with yourself for falling for someone. You are an amazing person full of so much love, and he was someone you chose to bless with your emotions. But you probably love so many other things around you- your friends, the crisp air when you go on 7 AM morning runs, the nice lady who compliments your skirt at the store....... he is not unique. He's just one lucky person that got to experience your feelings.

You see how when you romanticize your life and paint yourself as the main character of your narrative, it helps shift everything into perspective? That is what helped me get over him. While my medication did most of the heavy lifting, that mentality just changed the game for me. I hope that you can internalize that, too. It takes a ton of work but I believe in you, and I want to hear updates on how beautiful your life is!! I would also recommend writing it all in a journal/online diary of some sort.

Whoa. You brought up.... SUCH an incredible point. "I can see how it’s been both cathartic and perhaps a little destructive to keep ruminating on certain scenarios you’ve dealt with." You're so right, it was destructive. I was always so absorbed in the cathartic part of it that I was always confused why I felt so destroyed afterwards. I literally wrote that quote doc on my "romanticization" document. There's something so beautiful and poetic about that line.

Thank you so, so much for sending this in. Your incredibly sweet words made me reread this message so many times and also save it. I really really appreciate you being here and I'm so happy I met you <3 Sorry this answer was SO long but eye anon I just.......... I'm just hugging you so hard right now. It feels like I'm talking to myself from the past and I just want you to know that I know what you're going through, and you will persevere.

[fyexo]

EXO's Kai Talks Independence, Motivation And His Incredible Career

There’s the saying that you’ve made it into the upper echelons of fame when you achieve single-name status. Monikers like Beyoncé, Ariana Grande, and Billie Eilish ring a bell for they’ve relentlessly dominated not just the music charts, but pop culture, fashion and news in general. Then there’s also Kai. The 26-year-old main dancer of popular K-pop boy group EXO and a member of global K-pop boyband SuperM, beloved for his powerful moves, and experimental style — read: crop tops — that challenges the traditional markers of masculinity.

Today, it’s clear that the space Kai inhabits has only gotten bigger since his debut eight years ago, most recently wearing the hat of Gucci’s first-ever Korean male global ambassador — dismantling cultural boundaries and parlaying the mononym, Kai, beyond the K-Pop realm. In this cover interview, the superstar chats candidly about going global, being independent, and why he felt like he needed an Instagram account.

Some time ago you revealed the results of your personality test on Instagram live. With regard to the question “Have you wondered about your existence?”, you answered that you have.

I think I have always thought about the question, “Why was I born?”. Also, I often wonder about questions like, “Why am I not born as someone else but as me; is the world I see through my eyes different from another person’s point of view?”

You revealed that you have an INFJ personality type based on the MBTI — it seems quite accurate.

I don’t really remember my result, so I plan to take it again. My family has taken it too, and after seeing my mum’s result I thought it seemed like a very credible test [laughs]. My mum is a dreamer. Even before I debuted, she said, “You like to dress up, and because I brought you up in that way you are definitely going to have something to do with fashion brands in the future.” Naturally, when I became a Gucci ambassador, she was ecstatic.

Your Instagram feed’s theme is filled with “EXO”, “family” and “Gucci”.

I created my account in 2018 when I was having a shoot with ELLE for Gucci’s Cruise show. I’ve always known that social media was important, but I really felt that even more when a lot of celebrities asked for my account during the show.

You participated in the filming of a global eyewear campaign that was revealed not too long ago in the Amoeba Music store in Los Angeles. Was it a special experience for you as a musician?

Of course, it was supposed to be closed down and so the fact that I managed to take pictures and create memories of that historical place made me feel happy and blessed. The production crew were all non-Koreans, and the atmosphere at the location was different as well so it was all very nerve-racking. I felt like I had gone back in time to when I first debuted.

Even Kai gets nervous. Have you had any other similar experiences when a location you liked disappeared or closed down?

The old SM building I grew up in when I was a trainee and formed so many memories [at] just recently underwent some remodeling works. The rooftop and a few other spaces where I spent so much of my time have all disappeared. Those were places that meant so much to me, so with the new changes made, I was able to actually realise how much time has passed.

There are many people with a good [sense of] style. [Your] outstanding point is that when you try out different styles, it doesn’t seem foreign [to you].

I think that cool and pretty things can be captured easily but capturing a specific concept — in terms of fashion — can be a difficult feat. I use that mentality as an excuse to try out different styles of fashion that I would not have dared to in my daily life, such as the reggae hairstyle that I did in Growl, or the short crop jacket that I wore during my promotions for Obsession. I think two weeks is more than enough to prepare and try out new things [laughs].

You have made appearances in variety programmes such as Knowing Brothers and Radio Star last year. Were these experiences enjoyable?

Thanks to the humorous moments that came about, I actually received many offers from other shows. However, I was worried that the Kai that I portray on stage could be hindered by my different sides shown on TV, and that it might be difficult for anyone to focus on my performances due to the drastic differences.

I can’t not mention SuperM’s group promotions. Three different groups under SM came together to form this sub-unit, as part of a project!

When EXO went on our American tours, we experienced that culturally, races and traditions had been blurred. I could feel that there was less of a “line” separating us. I was able to approach fans more easily; I don’t think there’s a limit to K-Pop. I don’t need to deliberately mention the [global] success of Parasite. The fact that I became the global ambassador of Gucci eyewear proves that race does not matter at all, but it’s more about one’s talents and charisma.

Personally, I felt the progress of K-Pop after watching the safety briefing videos that SuperM and BoA shot together for Korean Airlines.

I am too shy to watch it, but I did receive a lot of video stills of myself from my friends and they didn’t look good at all. They keep sending me parts where I look bad [laughs].

Due to your performances and dancing, I think the pressure on the stage is incredible.

Usually I don’t have much worries, stress, or even anger, but it’s different right before going up on stage. I get so stressed to the point it can be tiring. Honestly, waking up at six in the morning with hardly any sleep just to pre-record our performances for music shows — it sounds impossible. I’m only able to show 20 per cent of my all and that is really sad. Last year was such a busy year, I hardly had any time to recharge myself nor did I feel I was ready to stand on stage, but the show still had to go on. I was not fully satisfied with the performances as a dancer, but it just has to be endured.

What are the reasons that you are able to carry on despite all the difficulties?

The contentment after I get things done, and the comfort that I was able to pull through. On the other hand, I think the sincerity I feel towards everything I do and the constant ambition to do things better is a huge motivation and a relief when I accomplish it. If I don’t feel this way, it will mean that this work no longer means as much as it did to me in the past. Showing my fans the best version of myself, and the comfort and happiness I feel when I’m contented with my performance or work, is really important to me. In the past I couldn’t even sleep after making one mistake, but I sleep really well now [laughs].

And dancing is still something you enjoy?

I’ve been dancing for almost 20 years now. I can’t not dance. Even when I was young, I’d dance everywhere and anywhere, to the extent my mum said, “Stop dancing, it’s embarrassing.”

It’s well known that you have some really special and tight relationships with a few people around you. Do you get any inspiration from their advice, or from their influence?

I’m not the type to ask for advice from anyone first. Even when I ask what’s the better of two choices, I already have an answer [that I’ve] decided on in my mind. I’ve always felt that I needed to be independent; to [think for myself] when I decide, in order to be able to say that it is “mine”.

So, you’re a man of few words around people.

If they want me to be. If necessary, I will say good things, but more [so] the realistic point of view. I always think of the worst possible situation before saying anything [when giving advice], so those who know me well will not ask me trivial questions. When things go south or important decisions to be made, they will look for me. As for myself, I humbly listen to criticism or harsh words.

“Sexy” and “beautiful” are words that you probably hear a lot, but your fans call you “cute”. Which sides of yourself do you think are cute?

None! Even if I have thought of myself as cute, I won’t say it or admit it [laughs].

There are many people who idolise you as they see you as an iconic person. Does [the phrase] “a symbolic beauty of youth” or any other nicknames that you carry, feel a little too exaggerated?

Everyone views me differently, so I can’t say that it’s burdensome or exaggerated. Instead, I’m thankful. I don’t want to think of these nicknames or titles consciously as I live my life. Like, “Oh since they call me this, I should try to behave a little more as such”. I only want to show my true self without having other considerations — always.

What do you consider to be beautiful?

Definitely cool clothes, sculptures, drawings and paintings. When I look at some really good-looking people, I feel that that is beauty too. But personally, I think that true beauty lies in moments. Past memories and ordinary moments that when you look back, [you] realise that what you felt back then was more beautiful and precious than any other happiness that you’ve experienced.

A line from the drama The Miracle We Met pops into my mind — “Memory isnot [just] a record of time, but [is always]accompanied by emotions. That’s something surprising we never expect.”

Good memories always bring back rushing emotions, regardless of when you look back at it. That is really beautiful, and that is why I really love watching movies with film static noise, as it seems like I’m looking into someone’s memories.

Your name Jong (鍾) comes from“iron drum bell” and In (仁) comes from “benevolent”. Your grandfather named you that, which means to be as benevolent as the person who rings the morning bell. Throughout your life, have you ever thought about the meaning behind your name?

Hmmm, firstly, I’m not a morning person [laughs], but hitting the bell at dawn means to be of use to someone and to [have] more initiative, so I do want to live up to that and inspire others. Perhaps I could already be doing just that, I’m not sure.

I’m sure you’ve garnered plenty of praise for your dance techniques, but the shoot today focused quite a bit on your looks too. Which feature of yours do you like?

I do like to think that I have my own attractive features, like my small ears or a round bear like nose which most would say is so-so — but I still like them. If I really had to choose, it would be my chin and eyebrows for now. I think these two features make up 80 per cent of my defining look.

What does family mean to you?

Family is family. There may be no one in the world who will be completely on my side, but my family will still accept me as I am. I grew up happily with two siblings, and so if I were to have a family of my own, I always thought three kids would be just nice. But now when I look at my sister struggling with childcare, I realised it’s definitely not something to think lightly of. My family members are also my seniors (sunbae) in life.

Your eight-year anniversary is coming up soon, and you’ve probably been through many hardships. Do you think it is necessary for a person to go through pain to mature?

Looking back now, not all hardships have changed my nature; I personally don’t see the need for a person to go through change and pain in order to mature. But you know there is going to be a tough time for everyone at least once in their lifetime, and it’s not so bad a thing to be positive and think of precious things to get through it. Most importantly, just because you’re going through something difficult doesn’t mean you should hate yourself or be hard on yourself, because the most precious thing in the world is yourself.

Some may look at you and think that you’ve got it all. In spite of this, is there still anything that you wish to have, and is there a further goal you have in mind?

Before my debut, I had a lot of ambitions but the Kai I am today doesn’t have anything else I could wish for. I don’t think the place I am today is my final station but even if it is, I would be okay with that. Even if my debut was the end, I am proud of the life I’ve led, and I would be super proud of whatever I do. I am able to say this confidently because I learnt that the more fixated I am on something, the less happy I am. I learnt that it is better to focus on and enjoy the present; to enjoy doing what you do.

What type of person do you hope to be to your loved ones?

There is only one thing I wish for and that is for them to always be by my side no matter what decisions I make. Likewise, I will do the same.

SOURCE: Elle Singapore June 2020

[tswiftdaily]

TAYLOR SWIFT: 30 THINGS I LEARNED BEFORE TURNING 30

According to my birth certificate, I turn 30 this year. It's weird because part of me still feels 18 and part of me feels 283, but the actual age I currently am is 29. I've heard people say that your thirties are "the most fun!" So I'll definitely keep you posted on my findings on that when I know. But until then, I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned before reaching 30, because it's 2019 and sharing is caring.

ONE: I learned to block some of the noise. Social media can be great, but it can also inundate your brain with images of what you aren’t, how you’re failing, or who is in a cooler locale than you at any given moment. One thing I do to lessen this weird insecurity laser beam is to turn off comments. Yes, I keep comments off on my posts. That way, I’m showing my friends and fans updates on my life, but I’m training my brain to not need the validation of someone telling me I look . I’m also blocking out anyone who might feel the need to tell me to “go die in a hole ho” while I’m having my coffee at nine in the morning. I think it’s healthy for your self-esteem to need less internet praise to appease it, especially when three comments down you could unwittingly see someone telling you that you look like a weasel that got hit by a truck and stitched back together by a drunk taxidermist. An actual comment I received once.

TWO: Being sweet to everyone all the time can get you into a lot of trouble. While it may be born from having been raised to be a polite young lady, this can contribute to some of your life’s worst regrets if someone takes advantage of this trait in you. Grow a backbone, trust your gut, and know when to strike back. Be like a snake—only bite if someone steps on you.

THREE: Trying and failing and trying again and failing again is normal. It may not feel normal to me because all of my trials and failures are blown out of proportion and turned into a spectator sport by tabloid takedown culture (you had to give me one moment of bitterness, come on). BUT THAT SAID, it’s good to mess up and learn from it and take risks. It’s especially good to do this in your twenties because we are searching. That’s GOOD. We’ll always be searching but never as intensely as when our brains are still developing at such a rapid pace. No, this is not an excuse to text your ex right now. That’s not what I said. Or do it, whatever, maybe you’ll learn from it. Then you’ll probably forget what you learned and do it again.... But it’s fine; do you, you’re searching. 

FOUR: I learned to stop hating every ounce of fat on my body. I worked hard to retrain my brain that a little extra weight means curves, shinier hair, and more energy. I think a lot of us push the boundaries of dieting, but taking it too far can be really dangerous. There is no quick fix. I work on accepting my body every day.

FIVE: Banish the drama. You only have so much room in your life and so much energy to give to those in it. Be discerning. If someone in your life is hurting you, draining you, or causing you pain in a way that feels unresolvable, blocking their number isn’t cruel. It’s just a simple setting on your phone that will eliminate drama if you so choose to use it.

SIX: I’ve learned that society is constantly sending very loud messages to women that exhibiting the physical signs of aging is the worst thing that can happen to us. These messages tell women that we aren’t allowed to age. It’s an impossible standard to meet, and I’ve been loving how outspoken Jameela Jamil has been on this subject. Reading her words feels like hearing a voice of reason amongst all these loud messages out there telling women we’re supposed to defy gravity, time, and everything natural in order to achieve this bizarre goal of everlasting youth that isn’t even remotely required of men.

SEVEN: My biggest fear. After the Manchester Arena bombing and the Vegas concert shooting, I was completely terrified to go on tour this time because I didn’t know how we were going to keep 3 million fans safe over seven months. There was a tremendous amount of planning, expense, and effort put into keeping my fans safe. My fear of violence has continued into my personal life. I carry QuikClot army grade bandage dressing, which is for gunshot or stab wounds. Websites and tabloids have taken it upon themselves to post every home address I’ve ever had online. You get enough stalkers trying to break into your house and you kind of start prepping for bad things. Every day I try to remind myself of the good in the world, the love I’ve witnessed and the faith I have in humanity. We have to live bravely in order to truly feel alive, and that means not being ruled by our greatest fears.

EIGHT: I learned not to let outside opinions establish the value I place on my own life choices. For too long, the projected opinions of strangers affected how I viewed my relationships. Whether it was the general internet consensus of who would be right for me, or what they thought was “couples goals” based on a picture I posted on Instagram. That stuff isn’t real. For an approval seeker like me, it was an important lesson for me to learn to have my OWN value system of what I actually want.

NINE: I learned how to make some easy cocktails like Pimm’s cups, Aperol spritzes, Old-Fashioneds, and Mojitos because…2016.

TEN: I’ve always cooked a LOT, but I found three recipes I know I’ll be making at dinner parties for life: Ina Garten’s Real Meatballs and Spaghetti (I just use packaged bread crumbs and only ground beef for meat), Nigella Lawson’s Mughlai Chicken, and Jamie Oliver’s Chicken Fajitas with Molé Sauce. Getting a garlic crusher is a whole game changer. I also learned how to immediately calculate Celsius to Fahrenheit in my head. (Which is what I’m pretty sure the internet would call a “weird flex.”)

ELEVEN: Recently I discovered Command tape, and I definitely would have fewer holes in my walls if I’d hung things that way all along. This is not an ad. I just really love Command tape.

TWELVE: Apologizing when you have hurt someone who really matters to you takes nothing away from you. Even if it was unintentional, it’s so easy to just apologize and move on. Try not to say “I’m sorry, but...” and make excuses for yourself. Learn how to make a sincere apology, and you can avoid breaking down the trust in your friendships and relationships.

THIRTEEN: It’s my opinion that in cases of sexual assault, I believe the victim. Coming forward is an agonizing thing to go through. I know because my sexual assault trial was a demoralizing, awful experience. I believe victims because I know firsthand about the shame and stigma that comes with raising your hand and saying “This happened to me.” It’s something no one would choose for themselves. We speak up because we have to, and out of fear that it could happen to someone else if we don’t.

FOURTEEN: When tragedy strikes someone you know in a way you’ve never dealt with before, it’s okay to say that you don’t know what to say. Sometimes just saying you’re so sorry is all someone wants to hear. It’s okay to not have any helpful advice to give them; you don’t have all the answers. However, it’s not okay to disappear from their life in their darkest hour. Your support is all someone needs when they’re at their lowest point. Even if you can’t really help the situation, it’s nice for them to know that you would if you could.

FIFTEEN: Vitamins make me feel so much better! I take L-theanine, which is a natural supplement to help with stress and anxiety. I also take magnesium for muscle health and energy.

SIXTEEN: Before you jump in headfirst, maybe, I don’t know...get to know someone! All that glitters isn’t gold, and first impressions actually aren’t everything. It’s impressive when someone can charm people instantly and own the room, but what I know now to be more valuable about a person is not their charming routine upon meeting them (I call it a “solid first 15”), but the layers of a person you discover in time. Are they honest, self-aware, and slyly funny at the moments you least expect it? Do they show up for you when you need them? Do they still love you after they’ve seen you broken? Or after they’ve walked in on you having a full conversation with your cats as if they’re people? These are things a first impression could never convey. 

SEVENTEEN: After my teen years and early twenties of sleeping in my makeup and occasionally using a Sharpie as eyeliner (DO NOT DO IT), I felt like I needed to start being nicer to my skin. I now moisturize my face every night and put on body lotion after I shower, not just in the winter, but all year round, because, why can’t I be soft during all the seasons?!

EIGHTEEN: Realizing childhood scars and working on rectifying them. For example, never being popular as a kid was always an insecurity for me. Even as an adult, I still have recurring flashbacks of sitting at lunch tables alone or hiding in a bathroom stall, or trying to make a new friend and being laughed at. In my twenties I found myself surrounded by girls who wanted to be my friend. So I shouted it from the rooftops, posted pictures, and celebrated my newfound acceptance into a sisterhood, without realizing that other people might still feel the way I did when I felt so alone. It’s important to address our long-standing issues before we turn into the living embodiment of them.

NINETEEN: Playing mind games is for the chase. In a real relationship or friendship, you’re shooting yourself in the foot if you don’t tell the other person how you feel, and what could be done to fix it. No one is a mind reader. If someone really loves you, they want you to verbalize how you feel. This is real life, not chess.

TWENTY: Learning the difference between lifelong friendships and situationships. Something about “we’re in our young twenties!” hurls people together into groups that can feel like your chosen family. And maybe they will be for the rest of your life. Or maybe they’ll just be your comrades for an important phase, but not forever. It’s sad but sometimes when you grow, you outgrow relationships. You may leave behind friendships along the way, but you’ll always keep the memories.

TWENTY-ONE: Fashion is all about playful experimentation. If you don’t look back at pictures of some of your old looks and cringe, you’re doing it wrong. See: Bleachella.

TWENTY-TWO: How to fight fair with the ones you love. Chances are you’re not trying to hurt the person you love and they aren’t trying to hurt you. If you can wind the tension of an argument down to a conversation about where the other person is coming from, there’s a greater chance you can remove the shame of losing a fight for one of you and the ego boost of the one who “won” the fight. I know a couple who, in the thick of a fight, say “Hey, same team.” Find a way to defuse the anger that can spiral out of control and make you lose sight of the good things you two have built. They don’t give out awards for winning the most fights in your relationship. They just give out divorce papers.

TWENTY-THREE: I learned that I have friends and fans in my life who don’t care if I’m #canceled. They were there in the worst times and they’re here now. The fans and their care for me, my well-being, and my music were the ones who pulled me through. The most emotional part of the Reputation Stadium Tour for me was knowing I was looking out at the faces of the people who helped me get back up. I’ll never forget the ones who stuck around.

TWENTY-FOUR: I’ve had to learn how to handle serious illness in my family. Both of my parents have had cancer, and my mom is now fighting her battle with it again. It’s taught me that there are real problems and then there’s everything else. My mom’s cancer is a real problem. I used to be so anxious about daily ups and downs. I give all of my worry, stress, and prayers to real problems now.

TWENTY-FIVE: I remember people asking me, “What are you gonna write about if you ever get happy?” There’s a common misconception that artists have to be miserable in order to make good art, that art and suffering go hand in hand. I’m really grateful to have learned this isn’t true. Finding happiness and inspiration at the same time has been really cool.

TWENTY-SIX: I make countdowns for things I’m excited about. When I’ve gone through dark, low times, I’ve always found a tiny bit of relief and hope in getting a countdown app (they’re free) and adding things I’m looking forward to. Even if they’re not big holidays or anything, it’s good to look toward the future. Sometimes we can get overwhelmed in the now, and it’s good to get some perspective that life will always go on, to better things.

TWENTY-SEVEN: I learned that disarming someone’s petty bullying can be as simple as learning to laugh. In my experience, I’ve come to see that bullies want to be feared and taken seriously. A few years ago, someone started an online hate campaign by calling me a snake on the internet. The fact that so many people jumped on board with it led me to feeling lower than I’ve ever felt in my life, but I can’t tell you how hard I had to keep from laughing every time my 63-foot inflatable cobra named Karyn appeared onstage in front of 60,000 screaming fans. It’s the Stadium Tour equivalent of responding to a troll’s hateful Instagram comment with “lol.” It would be nice if we could get an apology from people who bully us, but maybe all I’ll ever get is the satisfaction of knowing I could survive it, and thrive in spite of it.

TWENTY-EIGHT: I’m finding my voice in terms of politics. I took a lot of time educating myself on the political system and the branches of government that are signing off on bills that affect our day-to-day life. I saw so many issues that put our most vulnerable citizens at risk, and felt like I had to speak up to try and help make a change. Only as someone approaching 30 did I feel informed enough to speak about it to my 114 million followers. Invoking racism and provoking fear through thinly veiled messaging is not what I want from our leaders, and I realized that it actually is my responsibility to use my influence against that disgusting rhetoric. I’m going to do more to help. We have a big race coming up next year.

TWENTY-NINE: I learned that your hair can completely change texture. From birth, I had the curliest hair and now it is STRAIGHT. It’s the straight hair I wished for every day in junior high. But just as I was coming to terms with loving my curls, they’ve left me. Please pray for their safe return.

THIRTY: My mom always tells me that when I was a little kid, she never had to punish me for misbehaving because I would punish myself even worse. I’d lock myself in my room and couldn’t forgive myself, as a five-year-old. I realized that I do the same thing now when I feel I’ve made a mistake, whether it’s self-imposed exile or silencing myself and isolating. I’ve come to a realization that I need to be able to forgive myself for making the wrong choice, trusting the wrong person, or figuratively falling on my face in front of everyone. Step into the daylight and let it go.

ELLE

[bytheangell]

If Yesterday’s Too Heavy, Put It Down (4/5)

(Read on AO3)

Lorenzo isn’t proud of the fact that he’s resorted to seeking relationship advice from Magnus Bane of all people, but honestly, he doesn’t have anywhere better to turn. Magnus is also involved with a Shadowhunter, with a mortal, so it makes sense that he’s who Lorenzo should seek out regarding this particular matter of the heart.

Or maybe he won’t, Lorenzo thinks with immediate concern judging by the look of pure incredulity Magnus gives him at the doorway.

Except he’s desperate, so instead of changing his mind Lorenzo waits in the silence that follows his request. Then, in a show of how truly desperate he is, Lorenzo swallows thickly and takes a deep breath before reluctantly adding a grudging, “Please?”

At that Magnus seems to realize the importance of whatever he needs to discuss and moves back from the doorframe, opening it wide to allow Lorenzo plenty of room to enter.

“Thank you,” Lorenzo says. Instead of waiting for Magnus or situating himself at the table or the chairs in the living area, Lorenzo makes a beeline for the drink cart in the corner. “May I?”

“Of course,” Magnus says, eyeing him with a raised eyebrow. “Pour two.”

Lorenzo makes two of his signature Old Fashions, walking one over to Magnus who waits for him on the sofa now. Magnus takes a sip from his glass and pulls a face, looking up at Lorenzo with concern now.

“Starting the conversation with a drink this strong, should I be concerned?” Magnus asks.

Lorenzo huffs out a derisive laugh. “Not for yourself.”

“Are you alright?” Magnus asks in turn, and Lorenzo is surprised to hear a tone of actual concern behind the words. Maybe it’s the fact that Lorenzo’s fingernails haven’t stopped tapping on the side of his glass, or that his leg bounces anxiously in front of him. Maybe it’s the way his eyes dart around the room and land anywhere but on the very man he came here to speak with.

“Yes. No. I don’t know,” Lorenzo sighs, taking a seat opposite Magnus. “How do you deal with Lightwood’s mortality?”

Magnus nearly spits out the sip of drink he just took. “What?”

“Apologies. That was rather abrupt, wasn’t it?” Lorenzo has the decency to look apologetic. “But the two of you are married, so clearly this is something you’ve dealt with. How?”

“Lorenzo, you’ve lived long enough to know there isn’t any good way to handle the inevitable deaths of people we grow close to,” Magnus says slowly.

“Yes, I know, but I’ve never... Andrew is the first…” Lorenzo frowns. “He’s the first mortal I’ve been with for anything more than the occasional tryst, and I’m not sure I’m cut out for this.”

There. He said it. He doesn’t feel particularly good about it, but it’s the reason he’s here and he might as well be as honest as possible if he’s going to get anything out of Magnus on the subject.

“Oh,” Magnus says quietly. “I see.”

Lorenzo downs a generous portion of his drink and sinks back further into the chair.

“What brought this on all of a sudden?” Magnus asks.

“If I’m being honest, it isn’t all that sudden. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. Things between Andrew and myself are going well. Really well. But every once and a while Andrew will bring up my immortality and ask a question about it, then get evasive and change the subject.” Lorenzo watches something shift in Magnus’ expression at that but he doesn’t interrupt. “I know we need to discuss it properly, but…”

Lorenzo allows his words to trail off again. Normally speaking is not a problem for him - he always has the most eloquent words to express himself, never shying away from the truth. But now he doubts himself. He knows what he wants, but he’s afraid he can’t handle the weight of it.

It’s the heart of everything: the future. The possibility of Andrew eventually resenting Lorenzo’s inability to grow old with him enough to leave him, or Lorenzo growing tired of Andrew as he ages, or the idea of both of them remaining very much in love for the rest of Andrew’s life until he dies and Lorenzo is helpless to do anything but watch. There’s no winning. There’s no happy ending.

“How do you do it? How do you stay, knowing the inevitable heartache the future will bring?”

“You stay because it’s worth it. The love, while you have it, is worth the loss you know you’ll suffer later,” Magnus says. He makes it sound so simple, like the decision is getting waffles over pancakes for breakfast instead of choosing to spend the rest of someone’s life with them while they grow old and die before your eyes while you can do nothing to stop it.

“I want to believe that,” Lorenzo says. “But past experience tells me otherwise.”

He knows that’s a defeatist, generalized stance to take, but he can’t help it. There’s a reason most of his past relationships were on the brief side and he knows how selfish that reason is. What he and Andrew have… it’s real. At least, Lorenzo thinks it is. It’s more real than anything he’s ever felt before and, quite frankly, that terrifies him.

“Underhill isn’t your past,” Magnus points out.”You can’t make decisions about him based on other people.”

“Not other people,” Lorenzo corrects. “Me. I’m not like you, Magnus. When things get too difficult I leave and start over. It’s what I’ve always done. I don’t know if I can stomach watching the resentment grow in his eyes the longer I stay youthful and he grows old... I don’t know if I can stay and watch someone I love die.”

Magnus’ eyes widen a bit at that. “Do you? Love him?”

Lorenzo hadn’t noticed the choice of words until Magnus pointed it out, and when he did he froze. He hadn’t said it before now, not to Andrew, not to anyone… but he’d thought it. He’d been thinking it for a while now, and that’s most of the reason why he’s here.

Maybe this is what he really needed to admit to himself before he could start to deal with anything that follows.

“Perhaps,” he relents, not fooling Magnus or himself with his sudden backtracking.

“Then talk to him,” Magnus says. “Bring this up with him, not me. Maybe he won’t want you to watch him grow old and you’ll both agree to end things in a few years. Or maybe… maybe he’ll have an alternative you didn’t consider.” There’s something definitely suggestive in Magnus’ tone now, but if his words allude to something Lorenzo doesn’t know what. “You might claim you don’t trust yourself not to run but I don’t think that’s true. I think if you truly love him you’ll stay, no matter how hard it gets.”

Magnus’ belief in him catches Lorenzo off guard. He doesn’t know what he expected when he showed up - a bit of perspective, maybe? Or perhaps he came to Magnus expecting him to agree that he’s right to expect the worst of himself, which obviously didn’t happen.

“Yes, well, I suppose we’ll have to wait and see about that,” Lorenzo says. “I should get going,” he adds abruptly. There’s no use drawing this out - he’s said his piece, Magnus gave his advice, and it looks like he has a lot of thinking to do.

“Listen…” Magnus starts but hesitates. Lorenzo looks back expectantly, watching a flurry of conflicting emotions cross his features. It’s a long enough pause that Lorenzo wonders if he’ll say anything at all before he finally says, “I think both of you have what it takes to make this work. You just have to trust each other.”

“You can’t repeat any of this, Magnus. Promise me,” Lorenzo adds, suddenly cursing the fact that he didn’t make that clear from the start. It isn’t like him to lay himself bear like this, to show such vulnerability to someone who could very easily turn around and use it against him. He could tell Lightwood, and Lightwood would tell Andrew, and Lorenzo simply can’t have that.

Magnus looks like he might argue at first but finally nods. “Alright. But I think you should talk to Underhill. This isn’t a decision you should make for both of you, and I think he might surprise you if you give him the chance.”

Lorenzo feels like there’s something Magnus isn’t telling him, but he doesn’t ask. He has enough on his mind without adding more questions he isn’t sure he wants the answer to just then.

“Thank you for the advice, Magnus,” Lorenzo says as he makes his way to the door to see himself out.

“I hope it all works out, Lorenzo,” Magnus says before the door closes and Lorenzo stands alone in the hallway.

Me too, he thinks, pulling out his phone to glance at Andrew’s name in his contact list. He looks at it for several long seconds in consideration before shutting off the screen and putting the phone back in his pocket.

He needs to sleep on this. He’ll talk with Andrew in the morning.

[antigenius]

Howdy lovely! I am 5’6 straight female who loves sleeping. If I didn’t have to get for school I would but I do and I am a pretty diligent student. I’m open minded to anything as long as there is some line of direction. I’m a very corny person with the worst jokes imaginable and I love making people smile. Despite that I always voice my insecurities and place to much pressure on myself and think I’m shitty at everything. I am a very caring person and I give my friends 1/2

Good advice but never to take my own. I go to ridiculous feats to lose weight that aren’t healthy because I don’t think I look the greatest. I can be alone with my thought for to long because I am pessimistic but I lie to myself and say that I’m being honest with how I am. I can’t take a compliment and I just feel worthless at times. But when it boils down to it I love to draw, song and cook (mostly self taught) Lazy days are my favorite and cuddling is nice too. Thanks bb❤️🥰

Agh!! So sorry this is so late! But here we are, finally! I hope you like this!

I think you would be good with…

Mirio!

You seem to me as someone who would cause curiosity in Mirio with your horrible jokes and lovely attitude. You guys would hit it off and honestly have such a good time together.

Mirio would be able to help you with lifting the pressure you put on yourself. Just like you, he has his own insecurities, but he laughs them off. He’ll probably brush this off onto you, but I know there’ll be times where you’ll both just sit down and talk about what’s worrying you. You’ll be just talking about every worry you have while he plays with your hair, his strong arms wrapped around your waist.

Mirio is the best cheerleader! He’d try his best to lift your self-esteem, and he’s so patient, taking each step to confidence with you. Going on dates, lord have mercy. He’d use every cheesy pick-up line to make you laugh and blush. That is, if manages to stop blushing himself at how gorgeous you are. I canon that in front of his lover, he’s the most flustered thing ever, and he’d just drink in your ethereal aura and whisper “You look beautiful, sweetheart.”

Please cook for him. Mans doesn’t care whatever it is or how it tastes, Mirio just adores the thought of his s/o wearing a cute apron and cooking him a pancake. It makes his heart swell with joy.

I also feel like you’d get on well with Nejire and Tamaki! Nejire seems like someone who you’d be pretty friendly with, and I think you could reach Tamaki on a more empathetic level. I also think Nejire would be someone who would help turn your self-doubt into confidence given her love for fashion/beauty, so she’d always reassure you that your figure is PERFECT! She’ll go shopping with you and get you a dress that’ll make Mirio’s jaw drop onto the floor.

I think it’s amazing that you’re open-minded, because I know Mirio would want to take you to a waterfall, up mountains, to a coffee shop, go-karting, anything and everything that sounds romantic or fun, you’ll find yourselves going there on a date.

A date with Mirio

“Wake up, Sunshine!”

It was a gorgeous Sunday morning, perfect for sleeping in and being lazy. You were having a dream about the most delicious food you’ve smelt in your life. It was about to go into your mouth when Mirio decided to wake you up.

Your eyes open lazily, hazed irises glancing over to the clock.

Seven am.

It was too fucking early for this.

You close back your eyes, hoping that if you thought about it hard enough, that you’d be sent back to your wonderful dream. Those glorious fries would still be there and you’d be able to drink that thick milkshake you ordered. There was a shuffle in the bedsheets beside you, you could feel his body hovering above yours.

“Not waking up?”

He trailed his fingers along your back, tracing your spine delicately. The feeling sends shudders up your spine, you writhe at his touch. He laughs.

“Come on, I’ll make breakfast!”

An enticing thought indeed, it almost made you want to get up. Enthusiasm on almost.

“Mirio, it’s only seven.” You yawn, tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth. “Wake me up in like five hours.”

“It’d by time for lunch by then!”

“Yeah, that’s the point.”

He sighs, you could practically see the lopsided smile on his face behind your eyelids.

“So you’re gonna be like that huh?”

You felt his weight lift from the bed, footsteps sounding farther and farther away. You felt a little guilty at not getting up, but your fuzzy mind was desperate to get back into dreamland that you knock out straight-away. The fries you remembered seeing smelled even better than before. The milkshake you dreamed of had hardly any condensation on the glass that contained it. You take a fry, about to taste the aromatic sea-salt that was sprinkled oh so delicately upon the chips. You breathe in deeply, imagining the sea. The waves crash around you, the briny sea air flooding your nostrils. You could even feel the sea spray its water on your fa-

You splutter, waking up from your peaceful slumber to Mirio spraying you with water. When you glare at him, he gives you his heartwarming smile.

“I had no choice! Your waffles would get cold!”

Your ears perk at the mention of food, immediately sitting up. “Waffles? Uh, next time just say so!”

“Well, you were so stubborn I couldn’t really-“

You throw yourself at him, interrupting him mid-sentence. It knocks the air out of his lungs, but he embraces you all the same.

“I love you-”

He was about to reply, but you speak again.

“-for making me waffles.”

You laugh as he huffs playfully, poking your side.

“Jokingggg!~” You kiss his cheek. “I love you even without the waffles.”

Those three words roll off your tongue quite nicely at this point. It would be weird if they didn’t, given that you guys had been together for about four years now. You both graduated from high school recently, if you could call about two years recent. Both of you started college together, renting out an apartment with Nejire and Tamaki. Life was fun, but since your quirk wasn’t exactly needed in the hero field and Mirio was… Mirio, you both had the apartment to yourselves as the other two went on patrols or missions. At first, Mirio kept making you go on hikes or just doing something outside. You obliged, knowing how much he was itching to be somewhere else but lazing about at home, but after a while, even with Mirio’s peppy attitude cheering you on, you got exhausted. You were not one to go for long treks in nature parks or walking up mountains with a heavy ass backpack, you just wanted to stay home and practice some anatomy (you still haven’t got a hang on hands just yet).

You never really complained, but Mirio already knew you were tired. The activities would become fortnightly instead of weekly, then monthly, which you minded a lot less. You didn’t even notice it at first, but it was quite considerate of your boyfriend to put your desires first before his. Thing was though, it always made you feel a little guilty.

Thus, you tried to put your all when the days for those walks came.

You stretch your arms to the ceiling, hearing your back crack at the movement. Splashing a bit of water onto your face to wake up, you make your way to the kitchen, the tantalising smell of hot waffles making your mouth water. A scoop of vanilla ice-cream sat upon the fluffy delight, the cold dessert melting into the little squares. Though you liked nothing more than a good waffle, you push the ice cream off the waffle, eating it with only bits of ice-cream. You didn’t need to put any weight after all.

Mirio observed this, a frown sitting on his lips.

“Hey, we’re going for quite a bit,” he places a hand on the small of your back, a soft kiss planted on your head, “I put that ice-cream so you’d have enough sugar to get you through it.”

You scoff, smirking. “What, you think I’m that weak?”

He arches an eyebrow, amusement glinting in his eyes for a small moment. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

A sigh leaves you. “It’s fine Miri. Just take my ice-cream will you?” You smile. “I don’t want it to go to waste.”

Not one to say no to the sugary treat, he takes a small bit of your scoop.

“There, eat the rest, or I’ll feed you it.”

Your cheeks flush. “Th-that’s-“

A spoonful of vanilla ice-cream gets pushed into your mouth, startling you. The creamy substance dribbles a little down your chin as you reluctantly swallow. Wiping your mouth with a tissue, Mirio grins.

“Want me to continue?”

Even though you could feel your whole face turning crimson red, you couldn’t say you didn’t like being fed. It reminded you of the times when you cooked lunch or dinner, and you asked him to taste test. You’d hold a spoon or fork to his lips, and the joy he got from your cooking made your whole day ten times better. You wondered if that’s what he was feeling right now.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

So for a while, Mirio was spoon-feeding you your breakfast. You took over after a minute or so though, finding the whole thing really embarrassing.

With your stomach full and your sugar buzz coming in, you got up to do the dishes while Mirio checked everything was locked before the both of you left for your walk.

Today, you were going for a stroll through Kyoto’s botanical garden. It was quite a contrast to your normal hikes, but Mirio saw you drawing flowers in your notebook the other day. The goofy dork took that as a sign to take you to a place with an absolute myriad of references blooming everywhere.

You hum quietly as you wash the plates, head bobbing to an imaginary beat. You hear Mirio’s feet pad against the tatami floors, getting closer and closer until your felt his strong arms around your waist, nose tickling the crook of your neck.

“Thanks for being wonderful.” He mumbles, pressing a kiss to your jaw. You laugh.

“I’m not even doing anything. If anything, I should be thanking you.”

He scrunches his eyebrows together. “That isn’t true. You work hard, you come with me on all these walks even though I know you’d rather not, but I selfishly make you go, you make sure I’m laughing when I feel down, there’s so much you do for me sunshine.”

You open your mouth to talk back, but he presses his lips to yours, silencing you.

“You’re wonderful. Absolutely and gorgeously wonderful. If you ever think different, I’ll make sure to tell you whenever I get the chance,” he kisses you again, “and that chance so happens to be right now.”

Your heart thumps against your ribcage. The universe really blessed you with this one. It takes you almost everything to not just sob with gratitude.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, sunshine.”

[dreamcatcherjiah]

MONO: UHGOOD

Words: 1.054

Pairing: no specific pairing, but Namjoon shows up

Genre: angst(ish), it's mono, so you get me

A/N: this little drabble was written in the first few days of this quarantine and I still had fresh the idea of studying in the library non-stop... good old days xD

Alone in the library so late at night, when all the students and teachers had left, that was your natural element. After all you were all you ever needed and would ever need. You had learnt that lesson fairly early on, in those days right after you entered college, when — while everyone tried to help you— they did nothing more than pointing in different directions and give unhelpful advice. And then you found the library. A bit too big, a bit too noisy, a bit too crowded. But in that room, yes, there was every man for himself, and no one seemed to care when you cried out of frustration and nerves.

Because to you indifference was nothing. Silence didn’t matter. It was reaching and not grasping. Working yourself to the bone only to achieve mediocre results. That little cut was the one who stung the most. Those moments when you were your worst enemy, when you fell down and instead of getting up, you merely rubbed salt in the wound, trampled yourself; “Do you only amount to this?” How was it that giving your two hundred percent at everything you did, you ended up, yet again, beating yourself up under the light of the library fluorescents. “You need to do so much better.” And don’t you know that. You were your worst enemy, your biggest source of pressure and negativity, and yet you couldn’t do better. It was only your mind screaming at you “if you are gonna be defeated, might as well die,” its voice piercing you through with such a certainty that your head dropped on you open book and you just breathed, in and out. “You have to win,” that voice told you, “no matter what, winning is what matters.” But how to win when what you want to is to say I give up, I’ve had enough.

A noise gets you out of your head, and you see how a couple of tables down the corridor, another student drops his head into his book and starts weeping. Is that the image you give off? Such defeated being, such sad image he was portraying. His hands gripped his hair, pulling softly but continuously as if trying to keep himself from slipping, trying to keep himself awake and in the moment. His table was filled with books, much in a similar fashion to yours, his laptop showing several research pages at the same time and varied pens scattered from his left to his right to the floor. He was the image of an overworked student and you just couldn’t stay put. Picking up your stuff, you moved to the spot next to him, picking up the red pen that had fallen to the floor in some moment between him arriving and you noticing him. There was something about going through the same kind of situations that somehow made people closer, and weren’t you just in the same situation?

“I won’t pretend to know what you are going through,” you said in a whisper when he noticed you sitting next to him and looked at you puzzled, “but I am here if you wanna take a break and go for coffee or something.”

Still looking at you, he bit the inside of his cheek to try and keep the tears at bay while contemplating your offer. Finally, he closed his laptop, picked up his phone and stood up. Following his silent invitation, you followed him and left the library, looking for one of the many coffee machines placed in the building. 

Once both of you had each a cup of coffee, you went out into the street and sat down in one of the benches close to the parking. He was still not speaking, but only seeing his eyes glistening while he was looking at the moon told you that he was feeling better.

“Not being able to reach my objectives frustrates me,” he finally said, looking intensely down into his cup of coffee. His acceptance of the silence finally over, you were happy enough to embrace it and give him time to get his thoughts in order. “No matter how much I study, how much I prepare, how many productive hours I spend in that damn chair in the library, I can’t pass that exam…” 

His shoulders slumped forward and you could practically see the same thoughts that plagued your head earlier that evening going through his through his black hoodie. Far from interrupting him, you gripped your cup tighter and turned your whole body towards his; his brows were furrowed and the muscle on his jaw kept coming up and down, his frustration obvious to you, but so was the fight that was going on inside of his head not to give up to those thoughts.

“I keep telling myself that if I study just a little bit harder, just a little bit longer, something in my brain will click and I will suddenly understand that last question I keep getting wrong, that I will remember that definition when it comes up in the test.  If there is something I’m not willing to do is to give up on myself…”

You knew what words were going to come out of his mouth and you couldn’t stop your own from moving and saying the same he was saying, at the same time.

“I can do this.”

Looking at each other, you both smirked, sharing the same joke. Finishing your coffees, you stood up and, putting the small doubts in your minds to rest, you went back inside to put in some more hours. You were lonely by yourselves anyway, and this way, when you thought you couldn’t go on any longer, you could stand up, go for coffee together and come back. There wasn’t a guaranty that you would reach your goals, the same as there wasn’t one before you met, but now you understood what the other was going through, because you experienced the same hardships. One day, when you passed that exam or aced that presentation, when you got that job or that promotion, you would look back and all of this would seem so stupid and so easy. But for now you were happy to share the burden with him, who had the same weight on his shoulders.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #279

“she could kill you with a wink of her eye.”

Have you ever met a guy for coffee? No, I don’t like coffee. Do you feed your leftovers to your dogs? I don’t currently have any dogs, but when I did, it was very rare and (almost) only if he wasn’t begging for it. The only exception was chicken nuggets; Teddy loved him some chicken nuggets, holy shit. That and peanut butter he would always get so excited about. What tricks does your pet do? Neither my cat nor obviously my snake know any tricks. Do you believe in psychics? No. When you hear the name “Ginger” what do you think of? Jason’s fatass beagle. I wonder how she is a lot, she was a darling. What is the worst damage that your car has seen? N/A What was the last thing that annoyed you? Probably my chronic boredom. :’) How would your parents react if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant)? Both would be extremely confused seeing as I’m not with a guy and absolutely do not want kids. Have you ever had a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend’s mom or dad? Nope. Are you afraid of frogs? No, they’re Good. How would you react if a complete stranger complimented you? It depends on the compliment and how it’s delivered. If you sound genuine and it’s not creepy, it’s honestly really flattering and sweet, though I get really shy. Who was the last person to make you cry? Myself, technically, thinking too much about he who I shouldn’t, y’know. Do you have Facebook? I do. How would you react if you found out your crush had a terminal disease? God, I don’t want to think about this. I’d be absolutely crushed. Do you eat applesauce? I don’t go out of my way to get some, but sure, I like applesauce. What was the last pill you took for? It was one of my mood stabilizers. Are you in the hospital a lot? No, thankfully. What is your dentist’s first name, if you know it? I have no clue. Have you ever walked on the beach at night? Yes. Does your mother have any sisters? One. Do you read poetry/make it? I don’t really read it anymore, but once in five blue moons I’ll write one if I’m really inspired. Have you ever had braces? Yes, for way too long because we couldn’t afford to take them off. I think it’s why one of my bottom front teeth is angled back a bit. Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? My parents are divorced and I live(d) with my mom. Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere else? To Mom, yes. My sisters and I were going to visit Dad and it was just easier back then to make something else up. Are you afraid of lifts? Elevators? Yes. Not terribly, but I’m not a fan. Who did you last talk to in person? Is that person attractive? My “other mom” Tobey; she brought me some groceries while Mom’s away. She’s Mom’s age though so no, I’m not attracted to her. She’s like family. Have you ever had a deep, personal conversation with a stranger? I mean, isn’t that therapy at first? lmao Let’s talk about the person you had your first kiss with. Do you still talk to that person? If so, do you still like them? Would you kiss them again? No; no, I like his memory; I fucking hope not. How many times have you cried over the person you love/like? A couple times. When was the last time you wanted to cry, but didn’t, because you didn’t want to show that you were upset? Why? I’m really not sure. What are three things that are guaranteed to make you smile, or put you in a good mood? Going on a car ride with me in shotgun to blare my music; seeing Mark laugh oh my FUCKING god; and seeing meerkats being cute. What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? Nothing. What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? My first teletherapy appointment. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? Chicken of some sort is very, very common. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? Ummm… good question. I know I have done this recently, I just can’t remember it… Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else’s dreams? Jason is practically a staple. Mom is there a lot. And sure, doesn’t everyone? Instead of flat earth, what do you think of the simulated earth theory, that we’re basically all just a giant computer program or virtual reality? I think it’s possible, there really is some convincing evidence, but I lean more towards not believing it. What worries you most about your future? What the fuck I’m doing with my life. What is something you do to feel better when you’re scared? Deep breathing. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? Mom, and sure. When was the last time you shared a secret with someone, and how did they react? I’m not sure. Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it? Give. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? OH MY GOD, SUDDEN MEMORY. There was this book we read in elementary school about this kid who made everything he touched turn to chocolate and it was fuckin wild. Do you prefer to watch movies or tv alone or with other people? Is there anything you refuse to watch alone? Oh, absolutely with someone. Y’all know I don’t enjoy TV that much anyway. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I’m watching the VOD on-and-off of a WoW streamer I like. Who taught you the most valuable lesson in life and what was that lesson? Jason. Don’t let anyone but yourself become your main source of happiness and worth. Have you got perfect vision? Hell no. I’ve got glasses for a good reason. What colour is the door to your house? White. Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? Snake. <3 Are you a good liar (tell the truth this time)? Yes. Do you like the smell of a barbecue or bonfire? Yeah, even though I hate barbecue itself. Do you think rainbows are pretty or overrated? Who the fuck thinks they’re “overrated”??? Rainbows are gorgeous. I think we can all agree on that. Are you more skeptical or gullible? Skeptical. How often do you drink sodas or fizzy drinks? LOLOL I DO NOT WANT TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION. Has anyone ever called you apathetic or unemotional? Considering I’m the polar opposite, no. Prefer being in control in a team environment, helping out, or taking orders? Help out. Do you like carrot cake? GIRL yes. Do you view animals as being just as important as people? Why or why not? Yes, because we have no greater right than them to be here. Hell, they’re probably more deserving with humanity’s selfishness. I’m aware as a meat eater there’s some hypocrisy here, buuut still in my heart I see them as just as valuable. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? She made an absolutely infuriating, false assumption of my mother. Is there a situation or person you haven’t been able to get over/forgive? I’ve forgiven him. Forgetting’s a different story. What are you like during arguments? Regardless of the topic or severity, I will absolutely be fumbling over my words, stuttering, and find eye contact difficult. It’s definitely not rare that I’ll be crying. Where do you like to be kissed? WELL this depends on the mood y’know. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel? I dunno, both can be very hard. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? It’s petty and I’d rather not give it the time of day. But I still am kind of angry, though I shouldn’t be. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? Why is this so oddly specific lol. But anyway, Mom, and that I love her. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? The one I trust the most. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them one hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or why not? No, because she was miserable. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? I don’t know. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? Sara. Her friendship means a fucking lot to me. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? Yesterday to my mom. Are you old fashioned? HA, definitely not. Have you ever gone up to a car thinking it was yours and tried to get in it? Oh my god yes. What’s your most irrational fear? There are plenty of them that I have. Whale sharks lmao. Musicals: yay or nay? I can’t help it, they’re always cheesy to me. Do you play the games on MySpace/Facebook? No. When was the last time you were sunburnt? A few years ago when I went to the beach with Colleen and her fam. It was actually to the point of being sun poisoning. No words for how painful that shit was. How many times have you re-pierced a piercing yourself? Never have, never would. I’m trusting a professional with that. What’s your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne, of course. :’) How often do you pray? Never. Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yeah. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collarbone? I already have one but am getting it covered with something else eventually. It just doesn’t really apply to me. Do you wake up cranky? Not usually; I’m usually in my best mood in the morning. Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? No. Who was the last person to hold your hand? I don’t recall. What do you miss most about your ex? Define which ex. Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Yeah. Do you and your last ex hate each other? We’re best friends lmao. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes. Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Absolutely typing on the computer. I make typos while texting too much. Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? Probably. Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yes If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? Nooooo no no. Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? I’ve heard small stories about past relationships. Do you know anyone that’s gotten an abortion before? Yes. Have you ever been arrested? No. Who’s the last person that gave you roses? Tyler. Who’s the last guy you texted? My dad. What about the last girl? Sara. When was your first real relationship? From age 15 to 19-ish. Have you ever cried over an ex? I have PTSD stemming from one of them so guess lmao. Do you ever think about your ex and cry? ^ Have you ever cussed someone out? I remember one occasion at my sister’s stupid fucking ex. What’s the most trouble you’ve ever gotten in with your parents? Hm, not sure. Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? No. Do you have a lot of secrets? Not really. Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend? No. Have you ever told someone’s deep, dark secret? No. “Your secret it safe with me” is something I’m hardcore about. Have you ever pushed someone into a pool? I don’t think so, no. Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what’s in it? No. Have you ever you shop lifted? No. What state (or country) do you live in? North Carolina. Are you listening to music right now? Yes; 3TEETH's cover of "Pumped Up Kicks." I have fallen in LOVE with them. What is your newest favorite website? I don’t think I’ve really had a “new” favorite website in like eons. Do you have embarrassing memories of stupid things you've done? You have no fucking idea. I still remember things that embarrassed me in pre-k. What was the last thing you cooked on the stove? Scrambled eggs, I’m sure. What color Christmas tree do you want when you have a house someday? BLACK. BLACK WITH FAUX SNOW. How fucking gorgeous would that be??? Have you ever had to use an epi pen? No. Do you know the names of 3 of your neighbors? No. I only know the name of one. What was the last thing you cooked that you burnt or cooked for too long? I’m unsure. If you could have a car in any color, which color would you choose? ANY color? Pink. What was the last grocery store you shopped at? Walmart. What was the last type of milk you drank? 2%. Do you plan to vote in the next election? Yes. I believe silence speaks for the evil in situations like this, and I’m done doing that. Thooouuugh I gotta educate myself on the candidates… What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing. What is the last thing you charged? My laptop. Who was the last person to upload a picture with you in it? I don’t know, been a long time. Do you like peas? NOOOOOOOOO. It’s funny, according to Mom, I loooved peas as a baby, but now I’m just like… can’t relate. Do you ever wear sleep masks when you sleep or shower caps when you shower? No. Which friend are you most similar to? Sara and I are very similar. Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say? Well Sara is many states away so like,,,, we can’t unless I wanna buy a plane ticket lmao. If it was Jason, I pretty much know I’d say yes like a fucking idiot. If it was Girt, it’d be a yeah, we haven’t hung out in forever. Do you have alcohol in your house? No. Have you or anyone you know been to rehab? I’m sure someone has. Have you ever swung on a tire swing? I think I have at least once. What’s a discontinued product you wish they still made? Damn, I know there are some, but they’re not coming to me. Have you ever been involved in Facebook drama? Yes. Actually told a motherfucker off a few days back that claimed there was “something wrong” with Breonna Taylor and her death was justifiable. I. Went. The fuck. Off. Then everyone joined in. :D Do you have anything against women who choose to be stay-at-home-mothers? No?????? The fuck?????????? Have you ever kissed someone with a beard? Not a lengthy one. What gaming consoles do you own? PS2, Wii, GameBoy Advance, Nintendo DS Lite, my laptop, and uhhh I think that’s it. Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? Well, mentally sick. Do you know any lesbian couples? Yes. Did your parents monitor your internet usage when you were a teen? Yes. Well, Mom did. Is there anything in the USB key slots in your computer/laptop? Yes, the thing that communicates with my wireless mouse. What advertisements are on your screen at the moment? None. Was there ever a time when you felt absolutely terrified? If so, why? I can’t describe how terrified I was the night of the breakup. It felt so unreal, and I was so certain my life was over. Then there was an occasion where my dad picked my sister and me up from school and he was in an AWFUL mood; he was speeding like a motherfucker and running red lights. I absolutely thought a we were going to get in a wreck or die. Then I have anxiety and have experienced panic attacks, so… guess lmao. Who’s one person who changed how you viewed something? One of the most profound in my life is actually Rhett and Link as well as Hannah Hart. When I started watching GMM, I was actually still homophobic, but gradually I started to ship the fuck out of those angel boys despite it. I started questioning my viewpoint, and finally, on their podcast where Hannah was the guest, telling her personal LGBT story, it just clicked how disgustingly wrong I was. When was the last time you went to a bar? I’ve never been to one. Why did you last see the doctor? I’m going to assume you mean a doctor for physical reasons, in which case I went in to talk about if I qualified for a sleep study regarding my nightmares, only to be told that because my actual doctor was absent, she could do nothing. Sooo Mom and I walked in pretty much just to pay someone to say “wait.” How do you spend the majority of your free time? Something on the computer, I’m sure. Lately, what I’ve been doing most is playing WoW while watching/listening to something. List the cards in your wallet. I don’t care enough to look. Not a lot. What was the last thing to inspire you? Ummm idk. How has COVID affected you? It really hasn’t, other than giving me anxiety regarding my mom as she is in the “of most concern” demographic, if you will. We don’t know if her cancer is gone yet due to the whole emergency trip to NY. But yeah, I personally leave the house like… never, so my daily life hasn’t really had any deviations. What is a comfort show of yours? Hm. I share enough that I’m not a TV person, so I don’t really seek out a show when I need comfort. But I guess if I was sitting there with the remote and I was really down, I’d be happy to find That ‘70s Show. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? As I believe *some* sort of greater intelligence is responsible for the universe, I like to think so. But if not, make your own reason. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of? I’ve been home alone for over a month now and am somehow doing okay, taking care of the house and myself. Animal Crossing , yay or nay? I’ve never played it. Not of my interest in games. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? “Breaks” are bullshit. You’re either together or you’re not.

[bonjourmoncher]

You can contact Hamilton Lindley by: Phone at 254-759-5866 Email at hpl@hamiltonlindley.com And mail at 1020 N. University Parks Drive, Waco, TX 76706

After ten years in Dallas, Hamilton Lindley moved his family of five to the home of the Baylor Bears. Hamilton P Lindley realized the brainwashing of his daughter was complete after she believed that the Baylor Bear mascots hibernate only after “eating all them Longhorns.” If you have the desire to see too many photos of Hamilton Lindley’s family, you can find Hamilton Philip Lindley on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram.

Let’s get straight to the point, shall we?

Busy people can be incredibly difficult to connect with.

You know the drill. You send an email, then you wait. And wait. And wait some more. You get no reply, so you try again. More of the same. Eventually, you give up.

If this sounds familiar, well, you’re not alone. Most men have struggled, at some point in their career, to try to connect with someone who is incredibly busy. Whether it’s a potential employer, a possible mentor, a dream client, or even just to connect with a girl so you can ask her out on a date, contacting a busy person can be very difficult.

Does that mean you give up? Heck no. Often, there is a good reason why busy people are so busy. Namely, it is because they are successful, and they’re successful because they are smart and well-connected and have access to resources or knowledge that might make all the difference in the world to you…if you can just break through.

But if you’re like most men, you’ve struggled with trying to figure out how to go about making that contact. How can you get the person’s attention? What should you say and how do you say it? Where do you even start? Should you follow-up if they ignore you? And new means of communication in the form of social media, Skype, text messaging, and blog commenting has made this issue even more confusing and challenging.

Throughout my career, I’ve tested just about every different approach for contacting busy people. I’ve also spent the past 2+ years reaching out to very busy entrepreneurs and authors to appear as guests on my podcast. I’ve tried techniques that work like a charm and other strategies that are guaranteed to bomb. Below, I include the best of what has worked for me.

Art of Manliness has previously covered how to write an email that will get a response. In this article, however, I want to share more of an overarching approach which can be (and often is) implemented using email, but which is also medium-agnostic. Email is what I’ve used the most and is still an effective vehicle. However, you should also consider other approaches such as face-to-face and social media where appropriate. To contact AoM’s reclusive McKays, you’ll even need to be willing to write a good old-fashioned letter! (Word is if they start getting too much snail mail to handle, they’re going to move to requiring messages by homing pigeon.)

Although it can feel like a daunting task trying to connect with a busy person, the rewards when you succeed can often be game-changing. You just have to be smart about how you make your first move.

Put Yourself in Their Shoes

At the outset, you must understand that busy people get hundreds, if not thousands, of requests for help, aide, or resources every week. Not surprisingly, a large portion of them look and sound exactly the same. “Can you help me?” “Can I pick your brain?” “I’ve got an awesome idea that I know you’re gonna love!”

Don’t kid yourself. You might think your request is incredibly original or immensely valuable to the busy person, but they’ve probably already heard it before (A new app that will make you more productive? NO WAY!) Naturally, they’re going to be a little apprehensive.

Before you even think about reaching out, you need to get your mindset right. Even if you have the best of intentions, and think your request is a relatively minor one, don’t expect an answer. By definition, “busy” people can’t possibly respond to every inquiry. They’re not being rude — they’re just prioritizing. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be as successful as they are.

According to Steve Pavlina, author of Personal Development for Smart People, “If you can accept that busy people must triage in order to be effective and have a life, and you can respect them for setting priorities, you’ll have a much better shot at building a bridge with them.”

Here are 8 tips for contacting a busy person:

1. Try to Connect Before You Ask for Anything

The worst way of contacting a busy person is to ask them for something in your first attempt to connect with them. A much better approach is to reach out and contact the person long before you ever actually ask for anything.

One way to do this is via social media. Look for creative ways to quote, feature, or mention the busy person, by including them in a blog post or article you are writing, and then share it with them afterwards via social media. A single tweet might be all it takes to “grease the wheels” and get the conversation started.

Continue to build the relationship by doing things like sharing their content, promoting them, or simply sending relevant resources their way. To do this, you need to really get to know the busy person and understand what they are working on or could use help with. Be patient and allow the connection to grow organically before you jump in and start asking for favors. Don’t burn the bridge before you build it.

Another frequently overlooked option is to examine your existing network and see if you have any ties back to that person. A friend? Business associate? Anything that can be used to show commonality between you and the other person will help.

“Getting someone else to introduce you is one way to get someone’s attention,” says networking expert Lynne Waymon co-author of Make Your Contacts Count. “Find out who you both have in common and ask ‘Will you introduce me?’”

2. Keep Your Communications Brief

“Just a tip of advice. Never write on both sides of the sheet when you are sending a letter to a busy man.” –Jack London, Letter to Louis Stevens, March 24, 1913

Save your life story for another time. The shorter the message, the more likely you will get a reply. And the busier the person, the more important it is that you not waste their time.

First, always start your correspondence with a relevant subject line that’s clear and to the point. The recipient should be able to quickly tell why they would benefit from opening your message, how they know you, or ideally, both.

“Can you help me?” With what? Your business? Your math homework? There’s about as much value here as in a rubber crutch. You don’t have to be psychic to know that this one is headed straight for the oval file.

“Podcast Appearance to Promote Your New Book” is a much better subject line. By clearly stating what it is you want, and more importantly, how it will benefit the other person, you are much more likely to get your email opened.

Being brief also means excluding anything that isn’t necessary. It’s okay to open with a couple lines of pleasantries about your connection/affinity for the person. “I’m a big fan of what you do and I’ve been reading your magazine for five years now,” or “Seeing your TED talk made me decide to switch my major to biology.” A bit of praise will get your email off on the right start and build rapport. But keep your opening to no more than two sentences.

Keep the main body of your email as succinct as you can as well; aim to make your pitch in five sentences or less. You don’t need to attach your 100-page business plan or a dozen pictures of your prototype before you’ve explained what it is that you actually want. Remember, be respectful of a busy person’s time and wait for the green light before sending follow-up information, if they are open to it.

3. Do Your Research First and Ask Specific Questions

“I do detest being asked general advice, because, in reply, I must do one of two things: (1) Either write two or three books handling the replies or (2) damp the replies by giving only a few short sentences.

What I mean is, any time ask me for particular specific advice, and I shall be only too glad to place myself at your service.

Please remember that I write thousands of letters every year to unknown correspondents. And please remember, (1) that I do not like to write for a living…and that (2) therefore, when I have written all the books that I have written and upon which I work every day, that I am so tired of writing that I’d cut off my fingers and toes in order to avoid writing…

Anyway, please remember that you can call upon me any time for SPECIFIC PARTICULAR advice on any subject.” -Jack London, Letter to Cordie Ingram, April 9, 1913

When you reach out to a busy person, do so with very specific questions in mind. You may only get one shot at this, so you want the questions you ask to offer the most metaphorical bang for your buck; make them questions where you cannot find out the answers anywhere else, and for which you absolutely need the busy person’s unique perspective/connections/input.

So first research the answers to the list of questions you have in mind as rigorously as you can, and see what you can find out from easier-to-access sources. You need to show the busy person you’ve done your homework. Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Workweek, says “It’s amazing how many would-be mentees or beneficiaries ask busier people for answers Google could provide in 20 seconds.” In Ferriss’ words, “That puts you on the banned list.”

Not only should you do research before you reach out to a busy person, you should also try to get going on your project/business before you ask them for help. “Don’t ever ask a busy person to ‘pick their brain’ before you begin working on your project or idea,” says AoM’s own Brett McKay. “Instead, wait until it’s really underway, you’re in the thick of it, and you run into a specific problem.” Advice on starting something is typically plentiful and readily available. So save your “Phone-a-Friend” lifeline for when you’ve done all you can on your own and you’ve reached a wall you can’t figure out how to break through.

What specific question you should ask will vary depending on your situation, so it’s easier to explain what types of questions you should not ask. Typical examples of the types of generic questions you should not ask include:

I don’t know how to get started with ______. What would you recommend I do?

Do you think ____ would apply to my situation?

I’m confused about ______ and I’m not sure why I’m not getting it. Do you have any suggestions?

A better approach than these generic questions is to explain 2 or 3 specific options you are considering and ask for specific feedback on this discrete choice.

When you take this approach, you can “make use of your opportunity and ask better questions about specific topics rather than just peppering someone with general inquires,” says McKay. “The time you land with a busy person is valuable, so use it to ask the highest leverage questions you possibly can.”

4. Make Your Pitch Something to Which They Can Say Yes or No

If the question you have for a busy person regards whether or not they want to work with you on something, make your pitch as clear as possible. In other words, don’t ask an open-ended question like, “Would you like to partner with us somehow?” It’s not the busy person’s job to think of ways you two might team up. It’s your responsibility to come up with a specific proposal. A proposal a busy person can answer with a yes or a no.

5. Show Up in Person

Think for a minute about how many sales calls or how much junk mail you receive in a week. The majority of these items are deleted before they are ever opened. The multitude of requests busy people receive often suffer the same fate.

Now consider what you would do if the person making that same plea was standing right in front of you. Not quite so easy to ignore them now, is it?

Waymon says if there is a particular busy person you want to connect with, you should find out what groups or organizations they are part of and see how you can add value to those groups. Perhaps you can join a committee they are on or offer to help with something they’re passionate about.

“Studies show that it often takes 6 contacts with someone before they know who you are and have you placed in their mental Rolodex,” says Waymon. “So committee work and small group activities are good ways to create that continued contact.”

Being part of the same team can get your foot in the door, but you have to be ready when opportunity strikes. “Always have an agenda. Before the meeting think of three or four things you’d like to find out or know more about. Also, be ready to talk about three or four things you’re excited about — personally or professionally,” says Waymon. “Since people want to do business with people they trust, your overall goal is always to teach people to trust you.”

6. Keep Bringing Value

The chances of getting what you want become exponentially better when you offer something of value. A lot of people struggle with how to find something of “value” to offer, but really the options are limitless.

One of the best ways to provide value to a busy person is by helping them to promote their new book, project, business, or event. You can do this in a variety of ways:

Write an online review on Amazon, Yelp, or other review site.

Feature the busy person in an article on your blog or someone else’s blog.

Offer to introduce the busy person to someone relevant. But be sure to ask first.

Interview the person for your podcast, or if you don’t have a podcast, record a simple interview using a free service like FreeConferenceCall.com and upload it to your blog or SoundCloud (also free). Keep in mind that if your audience is very small, the busy person will likely make a cost benefit analysis and decide that the amount of promotion you can offer is less than the value of their limited time.

Create a Click to Tweet link explaining why you love the particular person’s work and share it with all your friends like this.

Even if you don’t have a blog or podcast, you can record a simple video with the webcam built into your laptop and upload it to YouTube, where millions of people will watch it before going back to watching videos of a cat playing the piano.

Bottom line: Find out what it is they need, or who they want to connect with, and make it happen.

7. Assert Yourself

When you make a request, not only is the message itself important, but so is the tone in which you present it. Michelle Lederman, author of The 11 Laws of Likability, talks about approaching the conversation from what she calls the “middle ground.” You should come off as “not passive, not aggressive, but assertive” says Lederman. Think confident, but not cocky. And definitely not meek.

Lederman also recommends going for the “convenient ask.” Make it as easy as possible for them to say yes to the request. For instance, give the busy person specific dates and times to choose from. Offer to meet them at the location of their choosing. Anything you can do to simplify the request can help.

Finally, Lederman recommends creating a sense of “scarcity.” Create a deadline for a blog post or article so that if the busy person wants to be included, they will need to respond by a particular date in order to make it happen. Having a deadline elicits more responses since these types of requests are harder to push off until later (which usually results in the busy person forgetting to come back to the request).

8. Follow Up (Within Reason)

Now, what do you do if you don’t get a reply? Should you follow up, and if so, how? “I think the secret to building meaningful relationships is following up,” says Jeff Goins, author of The Art of Work. But Goins cautions that you have to be careful how quickly or eagerly you follow up. “If you’re too aggressive, it can hurt you. But if you’re too lax, you can miss an opportunity.”

Goins says he will reach out once, then follow up a week later if he doesn’t have a response yet. If he still hasn’t heard back by then, he will “follow up after another week or two with a ‘hey if I don’t hear back from, I won’t bother you again’ email and then move on.” If Goins is really determined, he says he might try a completely different approach. “I may try another way to build trust with the person, like finding a way to meet them in person, but I won’t try the same way that failed before.”

Brett and Kate McKay have a similar suggestion. They say you should follow up once two weeks after sending the original email, and then 6 months later. “Sometimes the busy person will be in a different phase or season of busyness where their circumstances have changed and they’ll be more receptive to the reach out,” says Brett.

If you want to follow up after a week or two, you can use this script:

Hey George, I just wanted to follow up on my prior email once, in case my previous email got lost in your inbox.

If you aren’t interested, I won’t take offense. If you are interested, let me know. I will send one courtesy follow-up after this email in case the timing right now does not work for you.

-John

By indicating in your message that you are just following up as a courtesy and that the busy person need not respond if they truly are not interested, you are respectful of their time while also balancing the possibility that they really didn’t see your email the prior time around.

Start Contacting Busy People

Remember: busy people aren’t selfish and inconsiderate; I’ve actually found the opposite to be true — that some of the busiest people are actually the most giving types of people. But they also want to be efficient with their time. Remember that the time they give to you is time they sacrifice from working on their own businesses or spending time with their families. So contact them in a way that respects this reality and impinges on their schedule as lightly as possible.

While the entire process may sound intimidating and overly complex, you shouldn’t be intimidated. Like any challenge, connecting with busy people is a skill that you can develop over time. And it’s worth the effort.

“Don’t underestimate your value to someone else,” says Lederman. “There are so many things you can bring to the table that you don’t realize. A little bit of legwork goes a long way.”

[shadowdianne]

Hi Lulu 😘 - 40 Questions: 2, 14, 17, 28, 38 😁

Hello W <3 Let’s see :P

Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Uhm… I probably have thousands of subtropes I haven’t written yet but, truth is, I can’t seem to think of one I’d really love to write about…oh, no, wait. I think I would love to work with the Hanahaki Disease as a trope –you know, the one in where the victim’s lungs get filled with flower petals due to having been struck by one-sided love- I often work with western pairings so the trope hasn’t come up but I would love to study and explore how to make it work.

I believe there was a fic two supernova’s ago maybe that explored the concept in a SQ setting. It was glorious. [And if someone remembers the name of the author or if we are mutuals and you happen to be reading this: hey, you rock]

What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

I tend to stay away from those kind of comments. If the writing advice comes to me I won’t shy away from it or if I’m the one searching for it I will take everything but I don’t usually give much mind to people who try to pontificate just for the lols. In the same vein I don’t think I’m someone who can say that something is a good or bad writing advice without considering that my style and take on writing is not –by any means- universal.

However, I can safely say that anyone who would say that they consider a sex scene written and published in a book from those quotes that we all know about...  yeah, for fuck’s sake, don’t do that xD

Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I tend to write a general draft with some pointers on what do I want for certain scenes to have. Like, for example, for the supernova I finally couldn’t participate in I had several pages on some of the scenes despite not having reached that part yet because I needed to remind myself of the character’s mindset so I could build towards that as organically as possible. Yet, I tend to write in order if I have a clear story I want to write. For what I’m currently writing and since it’s a set of short stories- I’m not keeping track of the timeline in an orderly fashion. But I do have a proper order inside my brain which is the one I follow. In general, being me and writing means I have several tabs on timelines –both in my pc or my brain is doing extra hours xd-

Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

The unfairness on this is making me pick only three xd

Ok,ok… how about this. Imma cheat.

First it would be @delirious-comfort. I love the nuances she writes on her characters, how deep she makes you go into the character’s psyche. One of the things that always made me try to excel at writing angst was her; her ability on seeing what needs to be put in paper so the story is understood. I could listen or read her stories all day. I’ve written quite extensively about this to her previously and I can already sense her eyes on me so I’ll refrain but, heh, you know I know-…

The second would be someone that WAS a fic writer but not anymore. Yet, I remember her times as a fic writer and I’m absolutely enamored with her current work so, fuck it, I’m cheating. I already said that.

This one would be @emmasternerradley, I still need to finish and give her a proper review on a book and I’m an awful human being for not having done this already but, life doesn’t want me to write for the whole purpose of falling in love with a fuck. Which is a shame, screw it all and please give me back my free time. Still, the reason why I do love her style is the worldbuilding, the way she creates the world and the reality within her stories so they are a reflection of the characters themselves. The amount of care and love that goes into that, into creating soft yet palpable lines between world and the ones who inhabit them… made me squeal with joy back when I read her sq stories and still do that to this day whenever I’m able to steal some free time and I read her.

I would also add curvy pragmatist [snorts] in this. And as an addendum you can’t tell me I’m cheating, can you? :P But I would also pick her precisely because of how raw, how open, she makes her characters be. I would probably ask to sit in front of one of her characters and simply take coffee with them while letting them speak. That’s how interesting she makes them for me. And real. And human.

I’m also gonna mention you, W, because I do consider you an amazing writer; the kind of one with razor sharp focus, the kind of one that can see beyond the words and the nonsense and the fodder we writers love to put in a paragraph, while going for the deep dive. Your work reflects your love for storytelling in the same way that it makes it breathless. And I would marry your muse in a fucking heartbeat for that.

I need to mention @stregaomega on this as well. For majorly the same reasons but taken from another angle. She is the one who dreams big, who is grandiose, she is the one who fills and colors and adds and fangirls and it’s so fucking exhilarating simply being close to her while she creates. Just thinking that is making me smile: she has the passion, the energy, the ability, and I would simply sit and listen to her as well, for hours on end. I love that about her and she taught me how to drive my patience, how to say “no, let’s think bigger.” I love her for that. I will always love her for that.

I’m also going to mention two writers I know I have already mentioned a couple of times but I haven’t publicly gush about them. One would be the amazingly great Olivia Janae, writer of the Loudest Silence. I think the reason behind that is obvious: she creates the kind of stories that grip your heart and change the color of  your very insides as they drive you into a very different world while asking for you to trust them. And I would trust my fucking pen to this woman. I admire not only her drive but the way she makes everything so real that I remember myself gasping, full of pain and sorrow and love, while reading “Home”. The second one is someone I’m not entirely sure that I can tag to this day but I remember being very important for a very younger version of me. And while her style is one I’m not seeing myself reflected onto it anymore I think it shaped my perception on what storytelling meant back when I was starting this whole mess of “reader/writer”. That one would be starvinglunatic. I never posted a comment with my penname on her stories, scared and considerably younger as I was. There are some ffnet reviews floating away though, that are mine and I think they still ring true. Their stories resonated because of how they are created, step by step.

And I want to keep on cheating but this is lengthy enough as it is lol

[ @naralanis dear, consider yourself tagged on this as well. For very good and important reasons. Did you add something to the youknowwhat? Because I received a notification but I couldn’t find what it was]

Talk about a review that made your day.

One made by someone I think that don’t have a tumblr so I can’t tag them but still made me smile for days on end. It’s not a single review though but rather the way they made me feel whenever I saw their name on a comment. I’m talking about someone who goes by essvari. I adored how good she was at spotting details, how in-depth she was with such. And, at the times when I was convinced everything would be best as deleted she made me try to keep slightly harder for a slightly longer. So yeah, she, alongside with you, made reviews that kept me on wanting to write.