#like nobody is going to be able to convince me eddie is a bad partner im sorry i dont see it

[chuuzmii]

I think me and "eddie needs therapy before he can date" truthers will never see eye to eye because we are just contextualizing cannon differently. And thats fine. They see eddie as a bad partner and i just do not see that. I think thats where the disconnect stems from. Everyone is going to look at cannon and see it differently.

[tots-n-chocs]

‘Acrophobia’

Fandom: Venom (movie 2018)

Ship: Symbrock (Eddie/Venom)

Tags: Fluff, Stargazing, These losers are adorable but their banter is hilarious too, Venom tries to work on Eddie’s fear of heights, He goes about it all wrong, But maybe it works out OK in the end, Symbiote cuddles.

AO3 Link: [Here!]

(My other Symbrock fic: ‘Skin-Deep’)

(Please leave a kudos or a comment on the AO3 version if you enjoyed it <3 thanks! Happy Valentines!)

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The stars had never seemed so bright, so close, so... beautiful. Despite the racing of his heart and the shaking in his legs, that much Eddie could admit. But still...

“I- uh- I don’t see why you think that exposing me to heights is gonna get rid of my fear. It’s one of those... those kinds of ‘so you don’t die’ fears. Evolutionary. Y’know?” Eddie squeezed his eyes shut as a cold, fierce gust of wind blew straight through his thin sleeping t-shirt. He shivered more violently, trying to will his legs to move backwards, but Venom had locked them in place at the edge of the building.

I thought this was called Exposure Therapy, a reply rumbled into his mind, with something almost like an internal huff, so you’d learn to ignore your broken human evolution and remember that I would never let you die.

That’s not really how it works! Eddie tried to yell internally, his throat closed with fear.

Venom’s irritation at the situation buzzed in the back of Eddie’s head. Sometimes it was easy to forget that everything the symbiote had learned of humanity was from his previous hosts at the lab, Eddie himself, or the terrible television he watched while Eddie slept. Even when he grasped a concept, he sometimes didn't fully appreciate that there was a deeper meaning, social constructs to consider, or that what applied to one human may not apply to another. He was getting better, but it was so much for an alien to learn in such a short amount of time that he occasionally fucked up. Like right now.

Eddie swallowed thickly and opened his eyes a crack, feeling his stomach clench at the sight of the lights of cars moving around like tiny glowing insects far, far below him. At least Venom had taken them to a roof so high up that nobody would be able to see him standing there on the edge. He didn’t know how he’d have explained ‘no, I don’t want to kill myself, but my symbiote partner who lives inside me thought he could cure my phobia by making me experience my fear in the middle of the night’ to the police.

Is that not a good enough explanation? The deep voice was almost apologetic in tone, and Eddie felt a slightly guilty shifting feeling below his chest. I thought this would help. The show I watched on fears said this would help, Eddie.

His legs moved on their own, retreating him back into the middle of the roof and he let out a relieved breath.

Venom moving his limbs was a sensation he was gradually getting used to; it felt like when he’d wake up with a numb arm because he’d slept on it funny, and he’d move it around to get the blood flowing back into it again, even though he couldn’t feel the sensation itself. (He’d given the same explanation to Anne once when she’d asked how it felt when Venom piloted his body without covering him, but judging by her expression it wasn’t a particularly good analogy.)

Wrong train track again Eddie.

Eddie made an impatient shushing sound, fighting a sudden smile, the familiar jab and reaction from them both tapping into something comfortable and stable that helped to push his pulse-racing fear away. He'd tried to explain the phrase ‘train of thought’ to Venom one lazy afternoon after getting annoyed at himself for letting his mind wonder while he should have been working. Venom had since taken to pointing out when Eddie’s thoughts were ‘on the wrong train track’ – not quite the correct use of the phrase, but he knew what he meant. Didn’t mean he appreciated his easily distracted nature being pointed out all the time.

Eddie shook his head, returning to his symbiote’s confusion.

“I mean, if your fear is- like- spiders or something, I’ve heard that holding them can help, but I don’t think waking up in the middle of the night standing on the edge of a building is quite the same, V.” His voice still ringed with a note of fear, but now that he was away from the ledge, he was feeling considerably calmer.

No reply came, but a guilty shifting fluttered in his chest that made Eddie feel like he’d swallowed butterflies. He coughed lightly in an involuntary response to try and ease the strange sensation and placed his palm over his heart. “The thought was there,” he conceded softly.

Quiet.

Oh, Venom was definitely feeling bad.

Something heavy sat in Eddie’s gut.

He sighed and slowly lowered himself onto the middle of the concrete roof so that he was lying flat on his back, like he did when he was meditating.

What are you doing? Don’t you want to go back?

“Well, yeah, but I figured since we're here now anyway and the sky is so clear we could do a bit of star-gazing or something,” he said sincerely, laying his hands on his stomach. “Besides, I can’t see how high up we are from here. I’ll just pretend we’re on the ground.”

Hm, Venom didn’t sound convinced, you’ve never been interested in stars before. Why would you want to look at them now?

He considered this for a moment before replying with a soft, “Compromise.”

No, he didn’t really want to be high above the city at who-knows-how-late-o’clock, but there they were anyway. The memory of the appreciation and peace Venom had felt when they’d been on top of the network building when they’d first met hummed back to him in echoes. ‘Your world is not so ugly after all’ he’d admitted softly. To an alien that lived amongst the vastness of the universe, heights really must be no big deal. If anything, Venom seemed to like them, especially when it showed off the lights of San Francisco glinting through the darkness like a universe at his feet.

Eddie knew his fear must seem so confusing and unnecessary, especially when it went against everything Venom kept on telling him about catching him and never letting him get hurt. He didn’t want Venom to think that his fear was a result of a lack of trust. He knew his partner would never, ever let him fall without catching him – he had Eddie’s infinite and unshakable trust. But something that ran so deep was hard to just switch off.

A low hum of understanding made the hairs on Eddie’s arms stand on end and he smiled goofily at the sky, letting out a breath of air that was nearly a laugh. Every time they truly came to an understanding with each other it felt like their heart was too big for their chest, pumping life and love love love around their body. Although they were a ‘we’ more than they were ‘Eddie or Venom’ they were still two individual souls in one body – they were bound to disagree and misunderstand each other. They’d had vastly different experiences in life to shape them into who they were. But when those souls were in synchrony with each other, it felt so amazing and so natural that Eddie wondered how he’d ever felt any kind of closeness with a human being.

“You should have just asked, V. Never mind what the TV said. I think that stuff’s bad for you, I should sell it and just buy you a load of books or something.”

The vibrations from Venom’s rumbling laughter ran all the way through Eddie, right into his toes. Empty threats, Eddie. We know how much you love the reruns of your ‘Gilmore Girls’.

Eddie sighed dramatically, though he couldn’t quite push away the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Damn, you got me there. Fine. The TV stays.”

No matter how many times you re-watch it, Lorelai and Luke still won’t get married.

“Oh, owch, you really went there?! Straight for the jugular, man, why would you say that?” Eddie groaned loudly, though he could barely hear himself over laughter so low and continuous it was practically a purr. “I thought we would have this romantic look at the stars together, why would you hurt me in this way.”

“Would never hurt you Eddie.” Venom’s voice was right below his ear, close enough to feel the light touch of teeth against his skin. “We can be romantic.”

Eddie hadn’t even noticed how cold the concrete had been through the thin material of the shirt he slept in until the gritty hard coolness against his back was replaced with something considerably more comfortable, as his whole body was lifted slightly to accommodate the solid, yet strangely soft, warm and impossibly broad chest of Venom. Two thick, huge arms gently wrapped around his middle so that he was now lying on Venom’s chest, encased in his arms. Safe. Loved. Treasured.

Teeth nipped gently at his ear again and Eddie sighed contentedly, letting his whole body relax into the embrace.

It was nice to be physically close like this, plus it took away all the chill of the night-time wind.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Venom was so comfy, and Eddie could feel both his own happiness and a warm, happy glow that wasn’t his. He thought that being able to vaguely grasp Venom’s feelings was a little bit like an ‘emotional echo’. Something that did and didn’t belong to him; the pleasure of being held and the pleasure of doing the holding.

“Your Earth stars are very boring,” Venom declared, making Eddie open his eyes – he’d nearly fallen asleep.

“What?”

“They only shine with a few colours through your toxic atmosphere. And they’re so small.”

Eddie resisted the urge to laugh, always amused by how much Venom resented Earth’s oxygen just because he couldn’t breathe it, and he frowned playfully. “Hey, you leave our stars alone. They do a good job.” He paused and lines creased his forehead as he considered something else the symbiote had said. “Wait…. Stars are only one colour, right? What do you mean, they only shine with a ‘few’?”

“Like this.”

Eddie blinked and yelped. He would probably have fallen off Venom if his strong arms hadn’t been holding him tightly. The sky had been pretty before – distant stars shining with a white light – but now it was absolutely glorious. Greens and pinks sparkled in an ocean of shifting blues, and they were everywhere, the sky was full of them, even thought they were still very distant and very tiny. It was like looking straight into a galaxy from a movie. “Shit,” Eddie breathed in awe, “how…?”

“Made your eyes like mine,” Venom rumbled gently beside Eddie’s ear. It made him shiver and he could feel the toothy grin in response.

“Wow.” Eddie tilted his head a little, his cheek pressing into Venom’s. “Love you, V,” he whispered.

The reply vibrated in his mind, through his whole being, I love you too, Eddie. Always.

He smiled and laughed as Venom’s very wet tongue slid across his chin and up his cheek. “Ew, V!” He squirmed, but Venom only held him tighter, his claws pin-points of pressure at his sides. Amusement bounced between them in their emotional echo space again.

Once Venom’s tongue had retreated, leaving a trail of drool drying on his skin (again), there was a pause while Eddie enjoyed lying in Venom’s arms, and looking at stars he could never even have imagined, until he said, “That cluster of stars looks like a dog. With a wonky leg.”

“Mmm.”

“Seriously? Does everything make you hungry?”

“Those stars look like a lung.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Eddie laughed.

“Hungry, Eddie.”

“Ok, ok, let’s go home.”

With another blink his vision returned to normal. Venom squeezed him even tighter and then retreated under his skin, using tendrils to push Eddie upright gently to his feet.

Without Venom’s bulk holding him close Eddie shivered as the wind cut through his thin clothing again, until black seeped out of his skin and hugged his torso, shielding him from the cold. Whether he was in a humanoid shape or not, the warmth he felt in his chest was the same.

Shall I get us down? Or are we using the lift?

Eddie ran a hand over the shifting, liquid like mass covering him as he glanced back up at the sky. It was starting to look a little lighter on the horizon, was the sun going to rise soon? They needed to get back. He bit his lip as he considered something crazy. His whole body was still thrumming with happiness and contentment.

“Y’know what… maybe your exposure therapy worked… I think I’m going to do what you said last time,” Eddie began.

There was a spike of glee across their bond, and Venom’s form rippled beneath his hand. Last time?

“Yeah. When we were up like this before you said ‘jump’.” Eddie took a huge breath and ran towards the edge of the building, pushing all thoughts of heights and falling and death out of his mind and just let trust and love fill him. “Catch me!” he yelled into the rushing wind as his foot shoved him off the roof, leaping into the void of nothing but air.

Always.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fic: An Internal Affair - Chapter 2 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Leonard Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: Leonard Snart, the CCPD Captain of Internal Affairs, is known as Captain Cold for a very good reason: He hates corrupt cops with a merciless vengeance, and once you’re on his list, you’re in serious trouble.

His next target?

A CCPD lab tech named Barry Allen who’s developed a suspicious habit of disappearing at random intervals.

—————————————————————————————————

It's not that Barry's keeping an eye out for the guy or anything, it's just that -

Okay, he's totally keeping an eye out.

Listen, Barry has never had any luck with dating. Zero. None. Zilch.

In high school he was so renowned for being a weirdo nerd that he barely even tried.

College was a giant series of dating catastrophes interspersed with a handful of friends-with-benefits relationships that were fun but not serious.

After college, if anything, his reputation as a weirdo got even more extreme.

(The supernatural events blog being his first Google hit probably doesn’t help, but how else was he supposed to get submissions to help him gather data on unusual events?)

Yes, he's aware that part of his consistent streak of epic dating fails is his overwhelming love for Iris. A large part of it, even; the people he went out with in an attempt not to think about her were usually able to figure out that he wasn't really present at their dates and dumped him in disgust.

At the time, he’d figured that his crappy love life was a worthwhile sacrifice to make for that one glorious day in the future that Iris would abruptly realize that Barry was everything she never knew she wanted.

But Iris is with Eddie now.

As in, seriously, in a way that’s different from before.

Barry squelches the thought that Eddie somehow swept in while Barry was asleep (in a coma, no less!) and took his girl, because it's not true: Barry never got up the nerve to ask Iris to be his girl, and there was no guarantee that she would've said yes anyway, and now she's with Eddie.

She's been with Eddie for months.

She’s happy with Eddie.

Happy in a way Barry’s never seen her be happy, a glow that lights her up from the inside every time she talks about Eddie, every time they’re together. It’s quieter, in some way, than she’s been with previous boyfriends, more settled, more secure – it’s not the cheerfulness of a new infatuation, but the foundation-deep joy that comes from a relationship that is just rock solid, built on a basis of mutual respect and love.

And the worst part is that, well, Eddie –

Barry likes Eddie.

Eddie’s a good guy. He’s friendly and he’s kind and he’s thoughtful and he’s head-over-heels in love with Iris, willing to do everything and anything just to see her happy. In short, he’s exactly the sort of person Barry would want to see dating his best friend, except for the fact that he’d kind of like to be dating her himself.

God, Barry still can't believe he listened to Joe's advice and confessed his feelings to Iris even after he knew all of the above.

Naturally, of course, with Barry’s luck, Barry managed to pick the worst possible moment for a confession. It seems that, in his advice to Barry to be open and honest with Iris about how Barry felt about her, all those words about how Barry would regret not laying out his feelings at least once to see if she felt the same way, Joe somehow forgot to mention that he was actively in the process of trying to break Eddie and Iris up.

Joe sometimes forgets details like that.

In all fairness, so does Iris; the West family doesn’t fight often, but when they do, it’s both vicious and ruthless and thoroughly and incredibly unkind to any poor outsider who happens to get caught in the middle of the meat grinder.

Usually Barry.

He’s way too familiar with the usual way it goes - Iris making a decision Joe doesn't like, Joe pushing back and insisting she change it, Iris getting angry and refusing, Joe actively trying to sabotage the project and/or guilt trip her into not doing it, Iris blowing up at him, and an eventual resolution where either Iris gives in and gives up on the project or she continues onwards and Joe pretends that he never opposed the idea in the first place and sometimes even that it'd actually been his idea all along.

That's the usual way of things, but sometimes it happens in reverse, too, with Joe making a decision that Iris doesn’t approve of and needing to defend it from Iris’ double-barreled attacks, which also consist of guilt trips and silent treatment and sometimes outright sabotage. In her own way, Iris is just as bull-headed and ruthless as her dad.

Barry loves them both dearly, he has since before they took him in after what happened to his mom and his dad, but the way they fight is easily his least favorite West family trait.

They almost always apologize for putting Barry in the middle of these fights after they’re done – Iris with words and hugs and ice cream, Joe with punches to the shoulder and an offer to buy him his favorite pizza accompanied by the unspoken offer to just forget it ever happened – but for all their apologies, they never exactly stop doing it.

Well, every family is dysfunctional in its own way. This way just happens to be the West family way.

So, you know, it’s not like Barry's not used to it.

Okay, maybe not this particular iteration of it, with Joe trying to order Iris to break up with Eddie, which was an incredibly stupid idea in the first place, and when that didn’t work (obviously), he went off and ordered Eddie to break up with Iris, which was (unsurprisingly) even less successful. And, according to Iris, when that didn’t work, Joe apparently then tried to sabotage their relationship by telling Eddie that he wasn't going to let Eddie do his job as long as he was with Iris because he might get hurt on the job and thus cause Iris pain - thereby subtly positioning Iris to take the blame for any failure of Eddie's career to progress.

To nobody’s surprise, except maybe Joe's, that didn't work any better than the rest of it had – Eddie just told him off and refused to accept such a ridiculous restriction from his senior partner, and naturally he also told Iris about it, and boy, oh, boy, was Iris unhappy when she found out about that.

But that’s not the point.

The point is, that Barry is generally used to this stuff happening.

He just wishes that he’d known that the argument was ongoing before he decided it was the right time to confess his feelings to Iris.

Because, of course, the second he did, she was instantly convinced that he'd taken Joe's side in trying to destroy her relationship with Eddie. He should have realized it was a bad time, but he'd been so busy with the stuff he’d been doing as the Streak that he'd missed the signs of an argument (both on her and on Joe) and, well, yeah.

Suffice to say his confession didn't go as well as he might've hoped.

He got shot down, and hard.

Brutally, brutally hard.

And the worst of it is, Iris is probably right, too.

Not in her (totally unnecessary) implications that he was only confessing now that she finally had a serious relationship with another guy because he was being stupidly possessive (it's not true - he's not Joe!), but in the fact that Barry was wrong to try to interfere.

Eddie's a good guy and he’s good for Iris.

The fact that Barry would kinda-sorta-maybe-definitely prefer that he was the one making Iris happy isn't the point.

The point is, Iris' relationship isn't about Barry.

The point is -

Okay, the point is that he got shot down and then Iris stormed out of Jitters and then he went to get another drink to soothe his aching heart with sugar and then, in his moment of need, he got hit on by the most beautiful man Barry has ever seen.

Listen, Barry's not really big on the whole sign-from-above "when fate closes a door it opens a window" sort of philosophy, but wow.

Barry's not saying that his thus far totally platonic interactions with Len are destiny's consolation prize for nearly fucking up his relationship with Iris (thank god for Caitlin's timely intervention, complete with her totally implausible invention of ‘lightning strike confusion’ and willingness to lie to someone while looking at them straight in the eye, because thanks to that Barry still has a best friend despite - direct quote - 'temporarily imitating an asshole Nice Guy', which, ouch), but, well, if it is, then hell yes Barry is okay with being consoled.

It doesn't make up for his epic failure with Iris, and the slow death of all those dreams he’s been nursing since he was a kid, of course, and Barry's not even sure he's really interested in a relationship right now, given the Streak stuff, much less a relationship with Len who he’s really only met for fifteen minute intervals while on coffee breaks, but all caveats aside -

Okay, for serious, it’s-Leonard-but-please-call-me-Len is just so unbelievably hot.

He’s got these amazing grey-blue eyes and cheekbones that could cut a man and close-cropped salt-and-pepper hair that makes a person want to run their hands over it, and that’s just his face, that’s not even accounting for those broad shoulders and leanly muscled arms and that trim little waist and legs that go on for days, even putting aside the crutch he usually leans on that somehow manages to give the guy a sort of innocent charm that abruptly gets shattered the second he flashes that roguish, mischievous smile of his –

…yeah.

Too long, didn’t read: Len is H-O-T hot.

So, yeah, maybe Barry's kinda keeping an eye out for him every time he goes to Jitters. He's only bumped into Len when he's doing coffee runs alone so far, and he's pretty sure Cisco and Caitlin think he's overstating the sheer hotness factor involved here. He'd love to have an opportunity to point Len out to them now that they're actually here with him for once so they can see that he is 100% not understating the situation here.

Of course, Joe is also meeting them today, since they're discussing one of the new metas on the loose, and if he points Len out to Cisco and Caitlin as "hot coffee guy" then Joe will also see, which - no.

For many, many reasons: no.

Anyway, it doesn't matter, since he doesn't see Len anywhere and when he glances over at his new favorite barista, Kendra, she shakes her head a little to confirm that Len isn't in right now and hasn't been in the last hour.

It's things like that that have earned her that spot as his favorite.

Also the fact that she whispered to Barry that Len was trying to get his attention, because otherwise Barry might have missed it (lost as he was in his own angst) and that right there would have been a tragedy.

"- you listening, Barry?"

"Uh, yeah," Barry lies, jerked out of his daydream. "Yeah, totally."

"Uh-huh," Cisco says, but he's grinning. "Sure you were."

Barry rolls his eyes at him. "What were you saying, then?"

"Just that it's nice to have a week free of new metas for once, that's all. Oh, and then I said something about purple spiders from Mars to see if you were paying attention."

Of course he did.

Cisco's so much fun.

"I wonder if Barry drifting off has anything to do with his abilities," Caitlin muses. "I mean, Barry, you run much faster, and that means your reflexes have to be a lot faster to compensate - maybe you're drifting because you're incorporating information faster..?"

"Oooorrrr maybe I'm just daydreaming," Barry suggests quickly, hoping to stave off another round of testing. Ugh, testing. Though to be fair, he did agree to STAR Labs testing him to try to design ways to help people in exchange for their help with the Streak (what an awful name) stuff...

Of course, other than Caitlin, they've mostly ended up focusing on Speedster (no, that's worse) stuff instead, even Dr. Wells...

On second thought, Barry really hopes "the Flash" will end up sticking as his official superhero name. That sounds pretty cool. Like, comics Flash Gordon kind of cool.

He wishes he could be as cool as Flash Gordon.

"Hey, Joe!" Cisco says, waving, and Barry looks up with a smile.

A smile that quickly fades when he sees the expression on Joe's face, a familiar mulish expression that comes complete with the figurative thundering storm-clouds over his head.

(God, it’s a good thing Joe isn’t a meta.)

"Did something happen?" Barry demands immediately. "Is Iris okay?"

"Is it another meta?" Cisco asks.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, no, don't worry about it," Joe says, waving a hand. "Nothing's up. No new metas, and Iris is fine - though she's still writing that Streak-Flash blog; Barry, didn't I tell you to talk about that with her?"

"I did," Barry says. He has. Both as Barry and as the Streak-now-Flash. "It didn't work."

"Try again," Joe suggests. "I don't want her involved in all this meta business, you know that."

"I know, I know..."

Maybe Barry could hint to her about how he prefers the new nickname while he's at it.

Besides, Iris seems a lot more into the Streak (ugh, he really hates that name) than she is into boring old Barry Allen, so maybe he could...

She's still dating Eddie, though. And damnit, Barry likes Eddie.

It would probably be just as wrong to hit on Iris in his superhero disguise as it would be to do it as Barry.

Ugh, how did getting superpowers make his life so much more complicated?

"Why do you look so pissy, then, if nothing's happening?" Cisco asks.

Joe levels him with a look. "Pissy?"

"I mean, uh -" Cisco stutters, then gives up and takes refuge in his iced coffee, which he's slurping through a straw.

"You know what he means, Joe," Barry says. Joe's not really that annoyed at Cisco for the comment, he just likes to tease; it’s just that when Joe’s in a bad mood, it’s hard to tell when he’s teasing. His eyes don’t crinkle up the way they usually do. "If nothing’s going on, what's got you so angry?"

"Even Cisco and I can tell that you're upset about something," Caitlin points out.

"Nah, it's nothing," Joe says, but he settles into his seat and takes a long sip from the coffee Barry set aside for him. "Just the pest problem we’ve got at work."

"We - do?" Barry says, blinking. He hasn't heard anything like that, and usually they post the vermin notices everywhere. He'll have to prepare his lab – being up in the building’s equivalent to the attic makes him even more vulnerable. "Like, are we talking rats or cockroaches or-?"

Joe starts laughing.

Oh, he was being figurative.

Thanks, Joe. Barry would never have guessed that, given that the CCPD has gotten fumigated at least twice since Barry started working there.

At least his mistake put Joe in a better mood.

"No, no," Joe says, wiping his eyes. "Not that type of pest. Well, maybe; I could see my way to calling it a rat problem. Anyway, no, what I meant was, we've got this crazy new IA guy, Captain Cold -"

"Captain Cold?" Cisco asks. "Wow. Epic name."

"What's IA?" Caitlin asks.

"Internal Affairs," Barry supplies. "Also known as Internal Investigations, sometimes. They investigate complaints made against cops."

"Like I said," Joe says, good mood fading. "It’s a rat problem. These guys go after other cops, good cops, and tear them down over one little mistake, leaving us short-handed and thinking more about sticking to every little rule in the book than about doing our jobs when we should all be focused on dealing with the actual bad guys -"

"That's a little unfair," Barry protests, even though he knows from experience that he's never going to win this particular argument. "There are bad cops out there, Joe, you know that. Remember Dibny?"

"Dibny?" Cisco asks.

Barry can feel himself getting angry all over again, which is stupid, because it's been at least a year or two since the whole thing happened, and yet...

"Ralph Dibny was a cop Barry took a dislike to just when he was first starting out," Joe is explaining. "He wasn't really all that good at his job, so Barry never much liked him, and then Barry caught him taking some shortcuts and reacted badly -"

"Joe!" Barry exclaims. "That's not what happened!"

"What did happen, then?" Caitlin asks.

"Dibny planted evidence," Barry says. The memory of it still makes his hackles go up; he'd been so angry at the time. He still is, actually, but it'd been a brand new type of awful back then. When he'd first joined the force, he'd had such an idealized view of the justice system and of the work cops did in particular: rooting out injustice, stopping crime, finding the truth and freeing the innocently incarcerated, getting bad people off the streets and into rehabilitation programs, the works.

And then along came Dibny, with his smug smirk and his boasting and lust for glory -

"He was investigating a murder, a woman that got stabbed," Barry continues. "He thought the husband did it, everyone thought the husband did it, he was a real scumbag, but unfortunately there was no proof that the guy was involved. At least, there was no proof until Dibny found a knife with the husband's fingerprints on it. The second that happened, of course, he was treated like a hero for finally nailing the guy."

"Let me guess," Cisco said. "Not the real knife?"

"I tested it and it didn't match up," Barry confirms. "Different blade, different handle - there was no way it could've been the murder weapon, and the way Dibny went about the whole thing made it clear that it wasn't an innocent accident. He'd planted it deliberately to try to frame the guy –"

“Given Barry’s history with the whole mom and pop stabbing thing, Barry blew up,” Joe says, shaking his head a little. He hadn’t approved at the time; he’d thought Barry was sticking his nose in where it wasn’t needed, that Barry should have left it to IA to handle, if it was handled at all, but Barry had persisted. “He even testified against Dibny.”

“He deserved it,” Barry says firmly.

“But it did mean that a murderer walked free.”

“We never had solid evidence that Reagan killed his wife,” Barry snaps. “That’s the whole point. Dibny could have been framing an innocent man based on nothing but his own assumption that the guy was guilty. Whether Regan's a murderer is still unknown, but with Dibny we knew beyond any doubt that he broke the law.”

That’d been the moment when Barry realized that freeing his dad wasn’t just a matter of finding the Man in Yellow, but also of proving it. The CCPD had assumed that Barry’s dad had killed his mom because it was the easiest assumption, because they'd never believed Barry's stories of the Man in Yellow, but just because it was easy didn’t mean it was right.

And, yeah, sure, a few of the cops (most of the cops) had given Barry the cold shoulder for a while until Joe had explained the thing with Barry’s dad, replacing at least some of the glares with looks of sympathy (pity, really), and, yeah, maybe some of the friction he still has with a whole bunch of them might be from that rather than from the whole punctuality thing (and, uh, the bad social skills thing, too) that he usually blames it on, but whatever.

Barry’s still sure he did the right thing.

“To be fair, we’re doing a bit of law-breaking ourselves,” Cisco points out. “Being a superhero vigilante isn’t exactly legal, you know.”

"It's not the same," Barry says, but he frowns.

It is different. Isn't it?

“Barry's right. At least we know for sure that the metas we fight against are doing bad things,” Caitlin says. “And it’s not like we can just leave this up to the police: with his powers, Barry’s the only one who can stop them.”

Very true. That helps put Barry's mind at ease.

“The most important thing is to get these guys off the streets so they’re not hurting anyone else,” Joe agrees. “That's why you guys set up the Accelerator prison, right? To keep them from hurting anyone else? That’s a good thing in my book."

"Yeah," Barry says. "And to rehabilitate them."

Well, they maybe haven’t done all that much of that yet, but they're going to – Dr. Wells said –

"Anyway," Joe says, interrupting Barry's train of thought. "This whole thing’s not really a big deal, but it does mean we all need to walk a little more carefully until this Captain Cold guy –”

“God I love that name,” Cisco mutters.

“– gets tired of his most recent vendetta and moves onto harassing a different precinct.”

“Do you know who he’s after now?” Caitlin asks.

“No clue,” Joe says. “That’s why everyone’s got to be careful; this guy has a rep for being going after anyone who gets on his bad side. Doesn't matter how long you've been with the department or how much good you've done, once you're on his shit list, you're going down. He took down fifty guys in one massive sting his very first month in the job -"

“In one month?” Cisco exclaims, clearly impressed. “How?”

“Apparently, before he became Head of IA, he’d been working undercover or something,” Joe says with a shrug. “And while he was spying, he took the time to record some shady exchanges while he was doing it - and then turned them all in.”

“What, all at once?”

“Yeah. From what I hear, this guy got his promotion while still in his hospital bed, then checked out AMA the next day to wheel himself into the DA’s office and drop a pile of fully written case folders on their desks, demanding they investigate all of them at the same time –”

“Wait,” Caitlin says, “if he went straight from the hospital to the DA’s office, where’d he get the folders?”

“That’s not the point. The point is, losing fifty guys at once like that - especially without any consideration as to if there were valid reasons for them to be making those deals - has been killer on everyone’s workload. We’re all going crazy, the streets are under-policed, and does he care? No. He’s nowhere near done yet.”

"Why haven't I heard about this guy?" Barry asks.

Joe gives him a look.

"...what?"

"That would involve actually being in the office sometime, Bar."

"...oh, right. I've been busy."

"With Streak stuff," Joe agrees.

"With Flash stuff, please, Joe," Barry says, pained.

"Seriously," Cisco agrees. "The Flash is a much better name. Have you hinted about calling yourself the Flash to Iris? Her blog is, like, metahuman gossip central; it could probably popularize it -"

Barry starts nodding before he realizes that Joe is glaring.

"- but obviously that's not going to be an issue because she's totally going to stop writing it any day now because it's way too dangerous?" Cisco adds very quickly.

"Why'd you end that with a question," Joe growls.

"Uh, I mean - I - uh -"

Barry starts laughing, and Joe's stern face dissolves into a wry grin.

"Don't let him scare you," Barry advises a very relieved looking Cisco. If Joe wasn't here, he'd add that Iris doesn't listen to anyone anyway, but Joe hasn't entirely accepted that yet, and there's no point in starting a real argument.

Barry prefers to avoid confrontation whenever possible.

Cisco's phone buzzes.

"Oh, hey, guys, Wells has some news for us," he says, reading the text. "Let's head back to STAR Labs."

They all pack up their stuff and start heading out the door while Barry goes and throws out all the trash (he has no idea how he keeps ending up with all the chores, even when he does them at boring old regular speed). He’s just tossed it and turned to start following them when he sees Len come in through the other door, leaning heavily on his crutch as usual.

Barry hesitates, torn between going over to say hello and finding out what news Wells has for them. If it's something relating to another one of the many dangerous metas they suspect are out there, then he has a moral obligation to put that ahead of personal things. But if it’s just more testing, well...

Len sees him and smiles. Not a big smile; Len doesn't do those, just a little lift of his lips and a crinkling of his eyes that makes him look happy to see Barry, and yowza, Barry keeps forgetting how freaking hot Len is. Rather, he remembers, oh does he remember, it’s just that he keeps convincing himself that no one who smiles at him like that could possibly be that hot, and then he sees Len and nope, the guy really is every bit as hot as he'd thought.

Okay, maybe just a quick chat.

He speed-walks (he doesn't dare go faster than that until he's figured out how not to go lightning every time he tries to run) over to Len.

"Uh, hi," he says.

Wow. Uncool, Barry.

"Barry," Len says, still smiling that tiny little smile. "You coming or going?"

"Going, unfortunately," Barry says, and means it. "My friends - we've got a thing -"

"I've got a thing myself, so I wouldn’t be able to stick around anyway," Len says. "But while I have you, maybe you can help me resolve a problem."

"Sure, anything," Barry says.

"I had plans for a business dinner this Friday evening, but the guy in question ended up having to cancel on short notice," Len says, and Barry's heart starts going a mile a minute. "My secretary tells me that the reservations are non-refundable, and rather expensive."

Barry nods mutely. Is Len asking him out?! He's not prepared for this. It's too soon! He hasn't even figured out his position vis-à-vis the Flash and Iris and everything yet?

"Unfortunately, all of my friends are also busy that day," Len continues. "I don't suppose you'd be free to go with me...? Just to get to know each other a bit better, of course; it’s pretty hard to get acquainted via five minute chats over coffee."

"Of course," Barry echoes. So, basically, as friends? He can do friends. He can totally do friends. And from friends...well, he can worry about the rest later. He beams. "Yes, of course. I'd be happy to."

"Excellent," Len drawls, looking pleased. "Meet here and head over around seven? It ain't far, even for me."

"Absolutely!" Barry says, then notices Caitlin lingering by the door, looking for him. "Uh, but for now -"

He lifts a hand in an apologetic wave, and Len dips his head a little, waving back - half "good to see you", half "go on then, I'll catch you another time" - before executing a perfect turn on his crutch to catch the barista just as someone tries to steal his place in line while he's distracted.

Len is so damn cool.

Barry sighs and heads out the door.

"Is that Cool Coffee Guy?" Caitlin, the only one who lingered behind long enough to see their interaction, asks.

"Yeah," Barry says. "That's him."

"Nice."

Barry grins at her. It's good to have friends. "I told you. And it’s Hot Coffee Guy."

Grinning back, she nudges his shoulder a little. "Nuh-uh. That guy might be pretty, but he’s way too cool to be hot. You should go for it."

"Really?" he asks. "Even with the whole, you know, thing?"

"I don't know if you mean your abilities or your crush on Iris, but either way, yes," Caitlin says firmly. She smiles wistfully. "It's important not to let your work become everything to you, no matter how important it is. Ronnie taught me that."

"Don't forget that that lesson applies to you, too," Barry tells her. He's still honored that she chose to share her memories of her late fiancé with him. "C'mon, after we do whatever it is that Wells wants us for today, we'll go out for ice cream, you and me and Cisco." He can't imagine Wells going, no matter how nice the man is. He's a very private person. "How's that sound?"

"Could be nice," Caitlin allows, then smiles mischievously. "But first you have to ask out Cool Coffee Guy. Deal?"

"Deal," Barry says with a smirk. "And now you have no choice but to go get ice cream with us, because Cool Coffee Guy just asked me to go to dinner with him on Friday."

"He did? That's great!"

"Well, as friends," Barry amends.

"Still great," Catilin says, linking arms with him. "Though I'm not sure that entirely counts -"

"Awww, c’mon, Caitlin -"

"But I guess I'll count it anyway," she finishes, smiling. "Now let's catch up with the others."

Barry grins. "In a flash."

[acehotel]

INTERVIEW: Justin Strauss with Róisín Murphy

Irish-born chanteuse Róisín Murphy has spent the past two decades letting her muse call the shots — her career hopscotching between high art and the pop charts. In this episode of Just/Talk, renowned New York City DJ and music producer Justin Strauss chats with the headstrong icon about the past, the present and the high points in between.

Justin Strauss: I found out about Moloko and that was the first time I've heard your name. What were you doing before that? How did joining Moloko come about?

Róisín Murphy: I didn't really have a proper job before that. I was 19 when I started in Moloko. So I just tried a few things out.

JS: Were you interested in music at that point? What were you listening to?

RM: I started going out when I was 14 — there was never any issue getting into gigs when you were a little kid... they always let you go in. Sonic Youth, Butthole Surfers, Jesus and Mary Chain, Sub Pop stuff, Spacemen 3, My Bloody Valentine... they all came through Manchester. I used to go to mad places for a kid. Just mad. If my daughter... I don't want to know if she does what I did. But nothing bad ever happened to me. 

JS: So this is post-Haçienda?

RM: I went to Haçienda as well. It was still going and I went.  A lot of the time Haçienda wasn't me favorite club, though.

JS: Oh really? I never got to go.

RM: For me it didn't sound right in Haçienda. Anyway...

JS: And so had you done any of your own music? Were you writing?

RM: No. I had no idea I was going to do music. I thought I was going to do visual art. I went to Sheffield and did a foundation course in art. I never finished, 'cause I got a record contract at the end of that year with Moloko.

JS: And how did you get involved in Moloko?

RM: When I went to Sheffield I got into the sort of underground party scene. I got a whole different perspective on dance music and a bit more of the fusion, I guess — a sense of where things were connecting. Where electro was connecting with house, and reggae, with hardcore sort of stuff mixed in. And it had that pop-Sheffield vibe to it as well. It was a great education. 

I met [Moloko's] Mark Brydon in a party in Sheffield. He liked my tight sweater and I said yeah. I recorded that song that night.

JS: When “Sing it Back” became a big hit were you prepared for that kind of success? You couldn’t walk into a club, probably anywhere in the world, without it being played and everyone going crazy.

RM: In a way, we were always fighting it. That was a remix and you know it was all compromised in a way. I mean Mark used to call it housewives music. "I'm stuck with the fucking housewife music." It didn't really fit with the rest of Moloko. 

The first Moloko album was like a reaction against house and four-on-the-floor. I suppose trip hop was part of the reaction. Not that we thought we were making trip hop because it didn't exist. But I knew that song needed to be in a club, so I said to the label, "Let's get a remix done." As soon as I heard it, I knew it was a hit.

JS: Todd Terry did a remix?

RM: Yeah, just after his mix of Everything But The Girl’s “Missing,” and the label was like "Yeah, let's get Todd Terry." Very imaginative of them. It cost a fortune. Then Boris Dlugosh sent his incredible version on spec.

JS: Right.

RM: I had to have this massive row with the label. They wanted to put Todd Terry mix as the A side. I mean literally tears, crying like in the street, "This is Going to be huge. I can see myself on Top of the Pops!" And they weren't having it! And they put out the Todd Terry thing as the A side first.

JS: And you got to perform it on Top of the Pops?

RM: Yes. It was amazing. The day before Top of the Pops aired, I went to Harrods to buy myself a diamond ring. I found the ring I wanted to buy, and before I did, I went outside to have a cigarette. These two little Irish traveler girls outside and they said to me, "What are you doing?" I said "Would you believe I'm buying a diamond ring?" "You're not buying a diamond ring!" I said "I am. I'm buying a diamond ring."One said "Are you Irish?" I said "Yeah, yeah, I'm Mickey Murphy's daughter." "Oh, Mickey Murphy! We might know Mickey Murphy." Honestly, right?

JS: Right.

RM: Then they were like, "We don't believe that you're buying this diamond ring." So I brought them in with me into Harrods and I said to the woman at the counter, “I want to try it on." She thought we were going to run off with it or something 'cause of the two little scamps with me. "Honest to God, I’m buying the ring.” When I bought it, they were just like "Wow! How'd you get that money?" I said, “I'm Mickey Murphy's daughter, and I'm a pop star. Watch Top of the Pops tomorrow. I'm on." Can you imagine them watching in their fucking mobile home wherever?

JS: So after all that, then what happens? So you're a pop star now?

RM: I wasn't.

JS: Well, you're on Top of the Pops. The whole country see's you and everyone's watching.

RM: But I just wasn't. I just never became a pop star for whatever reason.

JS: And was that disappointing?

RM: No. I think what I wanted always was for people to respect what I do. Always.

JS: So after a decade, the Moloko breaks up. What happens next?

RM: I had spoken to Matthew Herbert years before about working together, and he kind of wouldn't let it go. He just wouldn't let up. So I said "Alright." I was scared, you know. But he was a perfect person to do it with. Perfect.

JS: Why were you scared?

RM: I'd only done it with my boyfriends before, and I didn't know the alchemy of how I'd done it. I didn't know that I was able to do it.

JS: But it turned out to be —

RM: ...perfect. It was more than me singing on somebody's record. Much, much more. I was the subject of the sound. In a situation where I was unsure of myself, to be going in to work with a producer who found beauty in everything I fucking did. And so it was very liberating in that way, you know. 

I was always a singer who wasn’t really interested in being a singer, you know. I also wanted to be more like a bassline or a rhythm when I sang. Matthew was instrumental in me gathering myself—just me bringing him my things and making sound out of them and out of my body. There was something very mending about it, and nobody else would've been able to bring that. It was perfect.

Then of course, when we gave it to the record company, it wasn't perfect.

JS: They didn't like it?

RM: It wasn't a perfect record. It was the wrong record, they thought. It was the label who'd been with me since I was 19, so it was disappointing.

JS: And what happened?

RM: They dropped me! But after that I signed to EMI, and they spent a fortune on Overpowered.

JS: There wasn't one single producer on that record, right?

RM: No, but I was definitely the boss of that record, right across the whole spectrum of millions of different people who worked on it. It was really amazing, but very expensive.

JS: I bet. Your relationship with producers has always interested me.

RM: Always men. They've always been men so far.

JS: You've never went for a big pop producer. You always go for someone more left field.

RM: When I did Overpowered, that was the big argument with EMI — the only producer they suggested was Calvin Harris. He was just starting out on EMI. And he's fucking good, you know what I mean? So I was like "Yeah, alright. Let's have a go of it." 

It was a session with him and Cathy Dennis — the three of us. And we did two tracks. And everyone in the label convinced that one track was a hit and I hated all of it. I knew I wanted to write with Cathy Dennis because I wanted to do a song like “Can't Get You Out of My Head.” But it was total cheese what we did. It wasn't about it being too pop. It just wasn't that good. You know? And it was a massive, big argument.

JS: But you know what you want.

RM: If you're aiming for "Can’t Get You Out of My Head” and you don't quite hit it, it’s just average. So let's not go with something a bit average. Anyway... he is talented, but he bitched after I didn't use that. 

JS: Calvin Harris?

RM: Yeah, like, "she's so stupid, why does she want to destroy her own career?" I don't want to destroy my own career!" You know the shit I always get from people. Believe me, I was sweating balls over this record. I was arguing with people like fucking Jimmy Douglass. Like, he produced Odyssey! He discovered Timbaland!

JS: And how did your relationship with EMI go after that?

RM: They dropped me. In honesty, they had a massive big shake up right after I put out a record. They fired like 75% of the staff—everyone I worked with. So it was not as simple as I was dropped, but … I moved on.

JS: So what did you make next?

RM: A baby's nest, mainly. I met my partner Sebastiano [Properzi]... did a few bits and pieces here and there.

JS: You made a record of Italian songs?

RM: Yeah, Mi Senti. For that, I brought in Eddie Stevens, who had been my musical director since Moloko, so I've toured all over the world with him. And we always put together the live shows, Me and him. In the meantime, when I've had the babies and everything, he'd gone off and become a producer and produced quite a few really great records. And so I asked him to work on the Mi Senti project as a co-producer, co-writer. 

After that I thought “Jesus! Eddie's fucking great, isn't he?” Then I did two albums back to back with him. That was a nice full circle.

JS: ...and they're great. No two tracks sound the same, but they all totally capture your vibe. 

RM: We were always albums in the old days, weren't we? I mean, that's how we were brought up when we started making music. It was always albums. You make a story.

JS: Tell me about the Block9 project you were involved in.

RM: Well, I went to do this creative retreat in the West Bank. Brian Eno, The Black Madonna and others contributed to the project. We stayed at The Walled Off, Banksy’s hotel project there.

JS: So how was that experience?

RM: It was pretty intense — it was a lot of information over the three days. We had a professor come in to teach us about Arabic music and we went to Jerusalem. We toured Bethlehem and Jerusalem, and a former refugee camp that’s now all kind of apartments built on top of each other.

JS: Had you been to that region before?

RM: I'd been in Israel once. I performed in Tel Aviv, which was great. The culture and the music and the warmth of the people... and the amazingness of The Walled Off itself as well. It was all mind-blowing.

JS: And now you've done a record with Maurice Fulton?

RM: Yeah. It's eight original tracks, coming out on Vinyl Factory as a set of four 12 inches.

JS: And how was working with him?

RM: Maurice is totally uncompromising. It’s the same for me, but I accepted everything he told me. "Okay, no worries. Do it your way." 

If I said to him "Maurice, will you change this and that" and he's already played it out in clubs, I've got no chance at getting anything changed whatsoever. He just goes "No. I've played it last week. And it’s fucking great. You don't know what you're talking about. Shut up." I go "Alright then." 

I've tried to be true to what it is. In that how I put it through to the world. It’s the message. Stay on the message.

[asthmaqueeneddie]

in your hcs about passively suicidal Stan, you mentioned that Richie has similar issues, would you be able to elaborate on those issues?

i will most definitely elaborate for you TRIGGER WARNING// self-harm

-so the main idea of the passively suicidal stan post was that stan wants to die but he’s not trying to kill himself every chance he gets

-richie started off this way when he was younger but around 15-16 his life started to take a turn down a path he didn’t want to travel

-he starts to lose interest in the things he loved a few years ago; he doesn’t do impressions or funny voices as much, he doesn’t want to act

-he’s always been really good in school but he really didn’t care about it, there was a solid week during junior year where he didn’t even bother to show up to french

-and it made eddie furious because what, you think you’re too cool for french class now?

-”no eds, i just don’t care enough about learning french to go. whether i speak the language or not, i’m still the same guy”

-so no one really bothers richie when he gets into those moods. he doesn’t learn until later that he’s got depression and that it’s the reason he doesn’t want to do anything anymore.

-so this is around the time things aren’t going too smoothly with him and eddie anymore. not like they were ever perfect, but they were both in a place where they were happy to be.

-eddie and bill were friends long before eddie ever met richie, so naturally they’re pretty close

-and as eddie and richie grow further apart, eddie starts volunteering at the hospital/richie’s band is the only thing that brings him any semblance of comfort anymore, eddie and bill get closer

-and it drives richie nuts because eddie idolizes bill and always had and now bill and stan are in a rocky place so richie has no idea how much more time he has with eddie

-or with any of the losers, for that matter

-bev moved away a long time ago and her letters are becoming less frequent as the days pass. the last richie heard about her was that she’s got a new boyfriend and that she’s found an interest in fashion. the only person who hears much from her is ben.

-ben doesn’t really know what he’s gonna do in the future but he knows that he, like most of the others, wants to get the hell out of derry. he’s created a poetry club for the school, he spends his free period as a page at the school library, so needless to say he’s busy but he never passes up an opportunity to hang out with his friends

-bill lost his stutter a long time ago and now has found an interest in psychology. he takes an AP course in it and thrives, but it takes up a lot of his time. between schoolwork and playing therapist to eddie, he and stan don’t exactly share the bond they used to. there’s an awkward tension now between him and richie, both boys feel as though their respective partners prefer the other.

-stan’s still as mildly suicidal as ever, but he’s happy. he’s happy because his parents separated after a long and unhappy marriage, happy because he lives with his mom and she doesn’t make him wear a kippah to school anymore, happy because he has both bill and richie by his side at all times and he feels safe. in the middle of all the turmoil in his life richie knows that, if nothing else, he’ll always have stan.

-there’s one night where richie’s alone in his empty house and his mind goes to the bad place. he thinks about all the terrible stuff that’s happened in his life, how unfair all of it is. how it’s all too much. how his friends are slowly abadoning him one by one. 

-he tries calling eddie but his mother says he isn’t home. nobody answers at stan’s house. then he starts to irrationally think that, because none of his lifelines answered the phone, they obviously don’t care about him.

-so he cries for a bit. he tries to sleep, to watch TV, take a shower, anything just to get his mind off his pain. but nothing helps. he then thinks back to bev, her method of coping in her times of trouble. he pops a razor blade out of box underneath the sink and makes his first incision. the sting both on his forearm and in his eyes only fuels him to continue.

-eventually, he wakes up in a room so white that it hurts his eyes. the room is so cold that he begins to shiver, and that’s when he notices he isn’t wearing any pants. he lets his eyes wander around for a bit before they fixate on bev, who is sleepily flipping through a magazine in the chair next to his bed.

-”beverly? what are you doing here?” the words make his throat ache

-”thank god, you’re awake.” she gets up out of the chair and throws her arms around him

-”you ever pull anything like this again and i’ll fucking kill you” her winter-fire hair has grown down to her shoulders.

-as he begins to speak, to ask again what she’s doing back in maine, a familiar small boy in an oversized crewneck comes into his line of sight

-eddie’s shakily holding a cup of coffee as he’s guided into the room by stan, who was equally as pale. as soon as their eyes meet, richie breaks down into tears.

-the memory of what he had done to land him in this position came flooding back like a tsunami, he glances down at the soft gauze wrapped around his wrist and cries harder.

-”i didn’t mean to, i-i was just trying to….i didn’t….i just”

-eddie rushes over to him, shoving his coffee into stan’s unsteady hands

-”it’s okay, rich, just breathe. calm down. what were you trying to do?”

-richie takes some deep breaths and glances around the room, almost all of his friends are surrounding him. half of them are crying.

-”i just wanted to feel something”

-richie is released about two days later. eddie somehow managed to convince richie’s mom to go to the hospital and sign the discharge papers.

-before leaving, bev swears to call more and to write each and every one of them. even if it resulted in a case of carpal tunnel.

-richie makes it his mission to apologize to every single one of his friends for putting them through what he did

-he and bill have a long talk about their friendship and agree to not let boyfriends, no matter if they’re also losers, come between them.

-eddie was slower to forgive than stan (who slept at richie’s for an entire weekend) or ben (who physically walked with richie to and from school every day) because the amount of pain eddie felt when he received the call about richie was insurmountable. eddie established a new ritual in which the two would actually talk about their feelings instead of bottling them up or masking them as passive-aggressive quips.

-the last of the losers to get over the trauma was mike. mike hanlon, contrary to no one’s belief, is the glue that keeps the losers together. he’s the one who calls bev and reminds her that she needs to send a note on bill’s birthday. he’s the one who comforts stan in gym class when he has a panic attack in the locker room. he is the one who remembers the anniversary of georgie’s death and goes to bill’s with McDonald’s and beer. and, above all, mike is the one who found richie bleeding out on the bathroom floor.

-richie approaches him carefully, he rode his bike all the way out to the hanlon’s farm. mike stopped everything he was doing upon seeing richie.

-”you don’t have to apologize”

-”you shouldn’t have had to see that. no one should have to see that or be put through that”

-”well i did, richie. i saw it. i saw you, unconscious on your bathroom floor. i came over to pick you up, you didn’t show up to bill’s like we had planned. your door was unlocked, your bedroom door was open, i stepped in blood. your blood. i called an ambulance, i picked you up off the floor, i rode in the back with you until they carted you away. and it was horrible. i hated every second of it. but i would do it again in a heartbeat. because you’re my friend and if i had let you come anywhere close to death that day, i never would’ve forgiven myself.”

-the speech was followed by lots of hugging, some crying, a whole lot of laughing. 

-richie couldn’t promise to never have bad thoughts. but he could promise never to put his friends through that much pain ever again. 

k so i may have gone a little overboard but that’s my specialty so please don’t hate me okay?