#like no thats the part where ur supposed to say what happens. i dont know what having different predicted exon numbers means please

[homophyte]

most of the time i feel pretty competent when i read papers but occasionally i am left the pathetic brainless jocktype going " Uh in English Four Eyes "

[naina285]

Admitting that I want love and a love so consuming but just from the other side (cuz thats always the safer option isn't? But whoever (imagine hypothetically) loves me (a lil bit delusional isn't?) , can always trust me , that I can guarantee.I will love but not show, cuz thats too risky and dangerous.)

It feels rather shameful to confess that I want love too. I want someone to be by side and tell me whatever I do , I do it for people from a place of good intentions and I want people to see that cuz whoever does a good deed always makes sacrifices and suffers for fucks sake. I did it with a true heart and when I need u, u r supposed to repay back to the person who had ur back isnt? But no they ofc wont do that. I did not be there for u just so that I could get the same thing back in return but I had a true heart and very pure and good intentions. Where the fuck are ur intentions? Just absolutely nothing.Fuck this world. Sometimes u gotta be a people pleaser I guess. I mean I am not a people's pleaser and try to stay out of poeple and just form connections that are deep but not too deep. But I do lie on the spectrum of people pleasing atleast mildly I think. Sometimes u gotta do that slightly, to preserve a bond with a person and just being too independent, arrogant ,self reliant is just gonna make u have no connects and make u seem like an outcast. Sometimes the connections are not unconditional. Thats the sad part. Its fucking rare.

People do whatever the fuck they want and I gotta deal with it. Like its kinda not definite. Like their actions are hurtful but not too hurtful cuz that was expected out of people being that way so its not shocking.So I dont really know the limits and where to draw the line. Addressing how hurt I feel is just not gonna solve the issue cuz at this point the understanding that we have in this bond is perfectly synced. They know exactly what makes me happy and sad cuz I know abt theirs too. So at this point just stating the obvious seems useless. Dont want to waste my already drained energy. I dont like forgiving people. I fucking hate it with all my soul. But I fucking have to act nonchalant abt it , like it doesnt bother and doesnt faze me at all. I let it slip away and I tell myself it isnt really a big deal. It the fuck is. But I just downplay it for the welfaree of everyone and I dont really like drama cuz that doesnt solve anything. So I just have to take everything in . Gotta be the bigger person who forgives. The person who has got a big heart. Fuck that. I want to be a person who has no heart. But I do own one unfortunately.

This is all about my friendships btw. Not the best out there. Manageable for the time being. Quite economical I would say. Just does the job u know. Would I want to be friends with them like for a long time after uni? Not really. I expect the bare minimum from them which is basically nothing and still they manage to hurt me so like fuck it. I like them but hate them too.

Friendships weren't like this when I was a kid or even a teen. Adulting just changes everything isnt. U see the true colours of people. Everything happens in a friendship other than actually focusing on the friendship aspect.

Ok going back to how I want a person (my Baymax to be specific) that someone tells me that what I feel is valid and I am not being overdramatic or too sentimental. I know seeking external validation is just gonna bring disappointment but like alas. Look what cynicism does to a girl.

[borathae]

ok finally doing this after a nap

Chapter 3

What is wrong with me *me 24/7, ALSO YES WHAT WAS ALL THAT???

Ever since you set foot into this estate, your brain went into a total frenzy YES EXACTLY AND it seems like she can remember hmmm

Why does everything here look so ancient? YOU NEED TO READ FANFICS to learn to live (except we dont get lucky yn parts just the unlucky embarrassing parts but thank god we aint dying every 5 chapter like yn)

You remember drinking one glass of wine. the said glass of wine:

It is totally normal to forget your date’s name after sleeping in his guestroom never been on a date, but i forgot someone's name after sitting next to them all day and realized after class while talking to bestie and had to wait till attendance next day -_-

ok the door is still locked. he told her to keep them locked and she did, but opened it for a sec and locked it again during the night. and the entire teleporting happened. this is a bit confusing hmmm. like opening it for a sec caused the change, but she locked it again. then how did they get her inside again? the bruise is there so it means it was real. the lock must have some magic and opening it during night causes it to go away?? i will think later lol

Did you punch your own throat in your sleep oof

Why did he know where to look exactly it wasnt a dream babe

istg im about to bitch slap this bitchless dude (TAE I LOVE U DONT TAKE IT TO THE HEART)

You should take better care of your belongings Kim Taehyung damn

He creeps me out honestly speaking all of them are creepy, yoongi is 10% less

just like that all your worries are wiped away like magic. like magic or with magic 👀👀(were u silent or silenced)

your knees are buckling like crazy THIS WILL BREAK ME THIS IS GONNA BREAK ME

Okay not going to lie, this was kind of cool you know whats more cooler??? jimin feeding his cycle 😂 THAT REMINDS ME OF JIN RIDING THE CYCLE HANDS FREE *fans myself

You snort, “so very humble.” ikr sOoOo HuMbLe

hmm usually you see cats sitting on horses, chilling. yoongles must be a rare kitty

Tell me again, why are you studying?” seriously dude must be bored as fuck to study, or started to forget cuz its beeen toooo looong

hold on what if some old being makes some theories and is "killed/disappeared" and later, with a different identity, studies his own theories in college 😭 and continues with it lol

It earned you a scholarship, it clearly must be well written.” or was it something to bring her to them??? 👀 *sus

The entrance exam stole my sanity from me. Even after a week of completing it I still felt jittery.” what type of students go there? what type of university is that? very weird

sunlight was just too bright for his eyes, DONT BE AN UNCULTURED SWINE, THATS WHEN UR SUPPOSED TO TWITCH AND SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

Emma left, she won’t come back again EMMA DIED FOR SURE OOF

It was a clean and painless end whats that supposed to mean mr.dracula?

Taehyung was a man of such humour ikr him in interviews 😭

Taehyung knew such peculiar stories about places and that doesnt seem weird???

the rain part was soo cute it could me giggling and listening too still with you

wow the honesty was cool, though there is many secrets, some parts feels really raw.

we are both pick-me girls then BAHAHA PLS *starts playing pd48 pick me

they are so cute im gonna die

(the way i started slightly mad at tae and then ended up simping, sighs)

THEY ARE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER DATE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

i cant wait for 2seokkook's pov and her talking to them woohoo

i love how smoothly its written, like everything just flows nicely, the scenes and dialogues, its like those nice cozy well directed movies that you watch with pillows and blanket and rested face, body and mind

its only been 3 chapters, obviously the suspense wouldnt make me grip my pillow yet but its already made me clutch my blanket/pearls lol

jjdafjs it took me so long to figure out how the wine pic happened HAHAHA this is such a funny idea help fjadjfs 😭😂

What is wrong with me *me 24/7, ALSO YES WHAT WAS ALL THAT???

ISTFG WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS ESTATE???

Ever since you set foot into this estate, your brain went into a total frenzy YES EXACTLY AND it seems like she can remember hmmm

like the suspicion is growiinnggg

Why does everything here look so ancient? YOU NEED TO READ FANFICS to learn to live (except we dont get lucky yn parts just the unlucky embarrassing parts but thank god we aint dying every 5 chapter like yn)

it doesn't make sense to you yet probably but I wanna be SA!OC so bad jfasdjf

It is totally normal to forget your date’s name after sleeping in his guestroom never been on a date, but i forgot someone's name after sitting next to them all day and realized after class while talking to bestie and had to wait till attendance next day -_-

girliepop me all the time, I forget names so easily (the same with song titles FAFAJDS like I kid you not I even forgot BTS song titles sometimes like it's so bad)

ok the door is still locked. he told her to keep them locked and she did, but opened it for a sec and locked it again during the night. and the entire teleporting happened. this is a bit confusing hmmm. like opening it for a sec caused the change, but she locked it again. then how did they get her inside again? the bruise is there so it means it was real. the lock must have some magic and opening it during night causes it to go away?? i will think later lol

hmhmhmhm interesting theory indeed mhmhmmh or perhaps 👀 someone made her lock the door again and then think everything was just a dream 👀 mhmhmhm

You should take better care of your belongings Kim Taehyung damn

"belongings" LIKE THE ICK

He creeps me out honestly speaking all of them are creepy, yoongi is 10% less

JFJADSJF YES jhfahsdhf I agree fjadjfa

just like that all your worries are wiped away like magic. like magic or with magic 👀👀(were u silent or silenced)

INDEED LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER???

Okay not going to lie, this was kind of cool you know whats more cooler??? jimin feeding his cycle 😂 THAT REMINDS ME OF JIN RIDING THE CYCLE HANDS FREE *fans myself

omg hahahaha this scene 😭😭 he is such a goof I love him 😭😭 Seokjin is honestly so hot I need to inhale him

hmm usually you see cats sitting on horses, chilling. yoongles must be a rare kitty

*cries* he is indeed a kitty

Tell me again, why are you studying?” seriously dude must be bored as fuck to study, or started to forget cuz its beeen toooo looong

LMOAOAO FOR REAL LIKE FADHF couldn't be mE FJASDJF

hold on what if some old being makes some theories and is "killed/disappeared" and later, with a different identity, studies his own theories in college 😭 and continues with it lol

👀 interesting ohohooh

It earned you a scholarship, it clearly must be well written.” or was it something to bring her to them??? 👀 *sus

OOOOOH IMAGINEEEEE 👀👀

The entrance exam stole my sanity from me. Even after a week of completing it I still felt jittery.” what type of students go there? what type of university is that? very weird

IT IS INDEED VERY WEIRD ALL OF IT 👀

sunlight was just too bright for his eyes, DONT BE AN UNCULTURED SWINE, THATS WHEN UR SUPPOSED TO TWITCH AND SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

lmaoaooaoao in her defence I have really sensitive eyes too and can barely stay in the sun without my eyes ACHING jfadsjfj so it IS possible

Emma left, she won’t come back again EMMA DIED FOR SURE OOF

👀 mhmhmhmmh

It was a clean and painless end whats that supposed to mean mr.dracula?

LIKE HELLO WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER????

Taehyung was a man of such humour ikr him in interviews 😭

I love him 😭😭

Taehyung knew such peculiar stories about places and that doesnt seem weird???

kfadjsfasj she is just here for a good time not a long time lmaooa

wow the honesty was cool, though there is many secrets, some parts feels really raw. they are so cute im gonna die (the way i started slightly mad at tae and then ended up simping, sighs) THEY ARE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER DATE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

fjadjfjad I love how you switched instnatly JFJADSJF THIS IS SO ME WHEN SANGUIS TAE FJADSJFJ

i love how smoothly its written, like everything just flows nicely, the scenes and dialogues, its like those nice cozy well directed movies that you watch with pillows and blanket and rested face, body and mind. its only been 3 chapters, obviously the suspense wouldnt make me grip my pillow yet but its already made me clutch my blanket/pearls lol

gaaah thank youuu <3 I'm so happy that you're having such a good time with it heheheh istfg I love reading your comments, they're so awesome heheheh 🥺😭💜💜

[mysticarts]

Hi! It's me again lol.

I can wanna show you my old concept idea backstory my lmk oc Ren if you remember her, my mind can't really decide whether I should bring it back or make a new one from scratch, or either combine them making something.. Something.

Old concept:

•Ren wasn't originally a shape-shifter demon, instead a created child of LBD, basically a puppet. Imagine Genshin impact where Ei creates sacaramouche. their species is the same as her mother.

•Ren has a negative relationship towards LBD, make sense because LBD is quite obsessed making the world perfect and as any means using your child like a weapon doesn't make their relationship look healthy at all.

•She wasn't supposed to be a girl but a boy. However they still go by the pronouns of he/They.

• Ren's original name is Xuefei but since I dont know any Chinese name and I am outright scared I might anger lietrally anyone here, so I scrapped it..

•Personality? I kinda base him as the opposite as Mk since his supposed to be the one will directly find a way to kill Mk. (Ho boy my old oc seems so brutal-)

•Speaking of Opposites, there's an confusing idea I did where Fei (That's I'll be calling him now. Aka the old Ren.) Is related to Mk, dunno what old me was thinking but I am recalling because LBD founded some strands of Mk and just did random magic and le behold my oc began existing.

•after Fei left from LBD cruel treatment towards him, I felt this is lazy so his backstory is inspired by Wanderer from genshin impact.. I have nothing to say other than I don't like this concept very much.. Well half of it.

Current Concept: (It's still in draft)

•I scraped everything about Ruifei and changed them entirely to what they are in present. Ren remains a villian but I guess chaotic neutral.

•Ren's personality is now based on Rocky from Lackadaisy and Double Trouble from She-ra. Trouble maker but less reckless unlike Rocky.. (*cough* I may not have too included Furina form GI, yk being flamboyant and overconfident-)

•Again Ren is a shape-shifter demon, with having ability to create illusions and mind controlling. Although they can't fully do mind controlling very much.

•Ren's used to be a human her former name was Genji Hua, she lives in a poor family and not so good village. Due to a plague happening she died and became a ghost/spirit wandering the world centuries.

•In short she wasn't able to go to celestial, and uh may have strike a deal with LBD wanting to be alive just so she could see her family again.

•I have another confusing concept where Ren aka Genji is LBD's puppet who ran away, eventually becoming a shape-shifter demon. And yes they have fully white hair in her true form hence why she activate a glamour.

•Yin and Jin does not know the whole preordeal of Ren between LBD only Ren's fear of coldness, I forgot to mention but their scared of coldness due to being trapped In LBD's prescene there stuck somewhere a room that's ridiculously cold, being stucked too with blue strings attached their bodies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thats all you can comment a feedback what you think, take your time though for answering this.

Have a good day/Night ^^

first off, im really thankful that ur comfortable telling me this!

I say, since both of these concepts are pretty well made, to mix up certain ones together.

For example, keep that Ren/Genji made a deal with the LBD to be human again, but keep her still young so when her family dies, LBD becomes a mother figure and turns Ren into a weapon.

To put it in short: take the best parts you like of each concept, and put them together!

[thatbitchsimone]

I love you I love you

Thank you thank you

It’s a long story of circle of abuse, I used to save her from my father hitting her and few years later I had to save myself from both of them hitting me

I truly believe she’s evil, not what she does to me but to others also, she beats and humiliates not only me but the maids too, the other siblings are not beaten, the brother sometimes rarely but he’s her worshipper so i don’t think he minds.

I will get a job soon but I don’t think I can move out, it’s not very common here you know, and my father is like a influential guy, but hopefully when I earn my own money and cut her off I’ll be happy, we have a big house so living separately is possible.

I found out something today and it made me sick to my stomach, I have my whole life faced disgusting men, but turns out my brother is also one of them, he is after all my fathers and mothers son. he is an Andrew tate fanboy btw so you can guess his entire personality by that lolllllll.

I am so sorry this is alot of stuff to hear on a site where you are supposed to have fun, I am sending you apology hugs, take care 🫂❤️

Btw have you read the bell jar by Sylvia plath? It’s so depressing it’s taking me months to finish HAHAHAH

that is fucking awful and yes, i dont even believe in the whole concept of evil (i was raised without religion in a completely secular country + im very into psychology so good vs evil is not part of my worldview lol) but some behaviors even i just have to describe as evil and ur mom fits that pretty well like abusing ur own children is fucking evil. i have empathy for her to some extent since her behavior is clearly the result of her being abused herself like u said but it gets clouded by the absolute disgust and hatred and rage i feel for her for letting herself become the abuser herself and keeping the circle of abuse going by passing it on to her children. its one thing to not have the strength or power to stop ur husband from abusing ur kids, but straight up joining in on the abuse is a whole other level of disgusting and im so sorry u have to experience this.

but i do have to say that u seem like a genuinely good person like i really feel like u have so much kindness and love in ur heart and u seem like a very strong, sensible and intelligent girl and i get a strong feeling that the cycle of abuse is gonna end with u (as in, u wont be carrying it on and u will break free from it and if u have kids in the future u will be a good and loving mom to them) and i just wanna acknowledge that bc thats amazing and inspiring and i admire u so much like i just have so much admiration for u right now like u are everything u are the moment u are the vibe

anyway, glad to hear that u at least live in a big house so that u can at the very least have some space from her even tho u live together. i get that its not as easy or simple as some ppl think to ”just move out” especially if u live in a very family oriented culture where its not the norm to do so on top of it all so i think the best thing to do currently is to just kind of try to stay out of her way and honestly just not even listen to the bullshit she says bc her insults are kinda meaningless tbh bc lets be real, if u were skinny she would just use something else to criticize u for. she just wants to put u down in any way she can no matter what u look like. u could probably look like a damn supermodel or movie star and she would still find something to pick on and put u down for, bc she has issues. shes disturbed. her words are empty and her opinions on u are just completely irrelevant. why should u care if a deranged abusive sadist doesnt ”approve” of ur body and size? this woman thinks its ok to mentally torment everyone around her, even HER OWN CHILDREN that she just so happens to not just verbally and emotionally abuse but straight up physically abuse. shes a child abuser. actual scum of the earth. like honestly next time she says something about ur body or calls u fat or whatever this psychopath likes to call u just remind urself that this woman is actually disturbed and sick in the head like shes literally a terrible human being lol who the fuck is she to criticize anyone like ok so u got a little extra meat on ur bones meanwhile she is a deranged sadistic child abuser. like girl whatever flaw u may have is nothing compared to the flaws she has like u are so far above her in every way that actually matters like ur literally so much better than her in every way like shes actually pathetic.

sorry about ur brother btw. seems like us women can never catch a break from these male parasites that are crawling around everywhere these days. they just keep getting worse and worse now with all the andrew tate shit brainwashing them. thank god we women have each others backs in this vile current climate. sisterhood is so important, especially now with all this crazy shit going around.

and yes ofc ive read the bell jar! read it for the first time when i was 16 and have reread it a few times since then. its one of those books that deeply resonates with nearly every woman who reads it even now generations later like its truly timeless in that way thats why its so good

[ahaura]

yellowjackets s2e4 lb

WHAT IS GOING ON i dont remember that clip from the last ep but it's fine

taissa repressed/separated the part of herself so much that its turned into a completely Other Self

DID HER SLEEPWALKING TAKE HER TO VAN?

is it just me or is it simply the link im using or does the themesong sound... more sinister...?

apex predator (survivalist cannibal) shauna shipman is HERE

once again... a comedy<3

FRODO AND MISTY BESTIE TIME?

"it's pretty rare for a friend to so relentlessly have your back" ok so i have theories. 1) he actually is just a weirdo who is also on misty's wavelength 2) fed 3) cult member (unlikely) 4) forest-sent (unlikely but it'd be interesting)

i REALLY want misty to have a fellow morally dubious and hilarious bestest best friend but i ALSO know that we are in a tv show where things have to happen. so. im enjoying it while i can.

IS IT STARTING? ARE THEY FINALLY TURNING ON COACH BEN BECAUSE HE DID NOT PARTAKE IN THE RITUALISTIC FOREST-INDUCED CANNIBALISM EVENT OF EATING JACKIE'S CORPSE? LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO

"a contest" oh boy

its happeninggggg the splintering the division fairytale vs "logic" putting saint lottie of new jersey on the spot lets GO

cult convo in the carrrrr

every time a character takes their eyes off the road when theyre drying i think of that one time when frodo says "get off the road!" in fotr except it's "keep your eyes on the road" <3

oh lottie....

lottie speaks and all i hear is therapy voice like she DOES know what to say and how to think about things but only in the way that does not threaten the frame of mind she was forced into likeeeee god there's a lottie underneath it all just like there's a shauna underneath it all under the layers of bullshit and time they're still under there lottie pleeeeaaaase

THE RITUAL OF PREPARATION.... I NEED A MINUTE...

is that snow in the line of lottie's scar.... like the snow in the carving on the tree...

also tho if u think about it i DO get it like nat refusing to take the blessing bec she thinks its stupid and it doesnt work and the others believing that it means shes not doing EVERYTHING she can to feed them i get that i can see it...

"im a millionaire its on youtube" JASDSDKSAJFKDS?????

shes touching the mouse... if you hear yelling in the distance thats my mom saying "mice carrie DISEASES"

lottie getting tetanus so the group can eat... <3

NAT IS SO FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

LISAAAAAAAAA

oh lisa...

ok i do want to say. first and foremost. it is entirely possible do feel numb when they got on medication and im not going to discount that. HOWEVER. in my PERSONAL experience with depression, therapy, and medication... a lot of the times that "numb" is experiencing "stable" like you're not feeling the super highs and super lows anymore you've tapered off and entered a more... normal? ??? range of emotions im getting sleepy so i cant remember the name of it but my therapist has described tolerance and vibrations and whatever and when youre in a Downtrend you are depressed but when you're Activated (angry, worried, anxious, etc.) you're Doing things and the goal is not to seesaw as much so violently into both ends but find a safe middle ground where you're supposed to be able to manage ur emotions well. idk what's going on w lisa i cant speak to her specifics or anything but like . im fairly sure that the idea that medication "numbs" you and turns you into a zombie is not as common as media portrays? if not entirely misrepresented or a misconception? i could be totally wrong in that and am only speaking from personal experience so take that as you will

DID SHAUNA REALLY JUST ADMIT TO KILLING ADAM TO HER KID? THE SAME KID WHO SNITCHED ON HER? LMAOOOOOOOOOOO WE'VE STARTED THE COUNTDOWN BABEYYYYYY (maybe) (we'll havet o see)

"hes not a bad person hes just a bad criminal" LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RIP JEFF FOUND DEAD IN NEW JERSEY

"i promise i wont tell anyone my mom murdered someone" im sure this will have no future ramfications atall <3 ever <3

oh im a fan of lisa its official im not letting her go.

NAT GOING OFF ON LISA'S MOM LET'S GO LET'S FUCKIN GGO

NAT PUT THE FISH IN HER MOUTH TO STEAL IT FROM THE MOM AND GAVE IT BACK TO LISA IM SCREEECHINGGGGG SHES CRAZYYYYYYY

mari caring more about the rules of the game more than not starving... eye see... also the moose may be a false hope/trap set by the forest but who knows<3

A PLANE? THE PLANE?

LEONARD????? THE BEAR??????

IS IT A VISION OR??????

GIRL SOMETHING IS WRONG!

GIRL WTF

WTF

WTF

WTF

is this the woods telling nat she should have taken the blessing...

jeff is right one (1) time youre really NOT supposed to let your kid know you killed people

im fairly certain thats not how youre supposed to treat hypothermia but what do i know. and what do they know too for that matter

lotttieeee...

WHOO---?

JAVI????????????????????????

VAN!!!!!!

well that was fun. i hope i can get some caps out of this ep if i can get around 2 it.<3

[eidolonightmare]

will make an acc soon when i can !!!! you use so kmany big words ur like a wizard casting spells . i like the last one the most , i dont know how to read with rhythm but it still sounds cool . i can imagine the few like music ppls i like singing it :3 very talented !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i will most definately have you help me learn french in the future idf we are friends !!!!!! also THANBK YOU for the list i will take them thru out the night and let you know what i get :DDDDD i love quizzes tysm !!!!!!!! see for me i think i could listen to it and (maybe) read it well but NOT write and not speak ?? that goes for all languages tho

THE LAST TIME I WAS ACTIVE IN YANBLR WAS 2022 (I THINK) WHERE I HAD MY OWN ACC AND THEN SUMMER OF THIS YEAR WHEN I JUST KINDA LURKED LMAO , I WAS TOO SCARED TO MAKE POSTS BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OF POPULAR USERS I DONT LIKE AND I DIDNT WANT TO RUN INTO THEM OR THEIR MUTUALS , now i dont care AS MUCH but i still dont like a couple of them tbh

and i have no idea when i graduate . like none uhm .... im also homeschooled (/neg) so that will definitely contribute to if im even like able to . iiiiiiiiii have a slight feeling i might end up dropping out once i am seventeen sdjekjrfr but its okay . will live my house dog dream ^___________^

and i took computer science and i failed it ! so LMAO , U HAVE MY CONGRATS . my neocities is also bland-ish because i REFUSE to use iframes , FUCK that .

and yes i am currently replaying pkmn legends . this might sound silly but ive never finished a pkmn game . tbh story based games bore the hell out of me JDNFIJSRFIERK I CANT STAND TO PLAY THEM . THERYE FUN TO WATCH BUT BESIDES THAT BLEGH

i dooooont have much else to say tbh :P am very sleepy and tired and i doooont really like the tumblor ask system FNWEJFKWJRFK , u can msg me if you want /nf BUT THAT MIGHT BE AWKWARD ???? i dunno dude my social skills are comparable to like . i dont want to say an ant because ants have like tons of interactions but like . i dunno maybe a worm ........ do worms ,,, are worms talkative ? i mean im talkative i just dont know what the fuck im saying . also i think thats kinda funny because i am LITERALLY a dog and yet i have no idea how to interact with anyone or anything , but that is okay , im like one of those dogs who have their like "person" i guess . idk what the fuck im talking about dude .

anyway uhm YEAH feel free 2 msg me if u want but you dont have to because i ammmm not sure if it is an appropriate time to ask so . uhh u do what YOU want yes . yes . OKAY BYE BYE TAKIUNG UR QUIZZES - ALEX THE THE THE MAN BOY DOG WOLF CANINE IDFK MAN

sorry if this response is kinda dry i am Tired. but i wanted to respond.

alright awesome!! heheheh thank you i suppose. thank you! ^_^ i'm glad you liked it!!!

hehehe yippee awesome...!! great great i'm excited to see what you get. i hope you have fun taking them! yeah i get that. that happens to me, too. i think you just have to practice more when that happens honestly... and get more input so you feel more comfortable.

ahh yeah i get that lmfao. one of my friend's exes is on here and i have an ex on here so i'm trying to avoid them and their friends... lmfao. and another person i don't like. real.

oohhh yeah. i wouldn't recommend dropping out if it's possible for you to not because that's going to make things harder for you in the future but i won't judge you if you do or anything. because school is really hard T_T. dog house dream!!

fair tbh!!! some parts of that class were rly hard for me so i understand why that might happen T_T. also real. i just can't figure out how to make it look cooler; maybe i'll work on it some more.

yay awesome. also that's totally fair.

okie that's alright!! i'll message you then ^_^ hehe that's fair. i think i understand what you mean though idk how to describe it either, lmfao.

alright :D i shall message you. yippee taking my quizzes!! ^_^

[historixally-accurate]

hee hoo its late at night but im still awake so im repsonding teehee. youre probably gonna see this during breakfast, so. good morning! ohaiyo早安 selamat pagi <3

YOURE A NATURAL ENGLISH A1er?!?!?!? god damn but also lowkey me too LOL. i dont remember much from when i was still wriitng narrative/discursive essays, but i found it easier than others for the most part. holy yap. ill gladly listen to you yap too its only an equivalent exchange...we're both a bit insane for men halfway across the world who love to go fast in a video game.

your primary school sounds like a nightmare. goddamn. i guess my prisch was also pretty pressurising, but from the sounds of yours, suddenyl i think it wasnt that bad after all... psle huh, crazy times. seems so long ago help now i feel old. i hope youre gonna be okay in your current school :,) the sg school system really doesnt let up, but its really, really important to know that youre never alone!

thanks for the compliment about marker mediums, though i dont think its actually that bad unless you have markers that are seriously in need of rescucitation. like on their last legs. unfortunately i cant send a picture of that kazuha because going anon removes the image sending feature, so maybe someday in the future. once i work up the courage to actually talk to you under my handle >_>

OH WOW you really have a hbg themed phone thats so cool u_u i agree with your family, thats swag as hell. the slingshot feinberg quote sent me for absolutely no reason, im shaking w laughter rn and frantically trying to suppress it so i dont wake my family. send help😭😭 and youre so real for the daily usage of the word "mongey". its only NOT invaded my daily speech because im purposely avoiding thinking about it...if i bury myself in doing sports surely the bigbigmongey brainrot wont get me smile (no this isnt copium wdym) this is ignoring the fact that without thinking i keep saying "what the sigma" and "what the skibidi" unironically btw. both my friends and i know im cooked as fuck

i actually did NOT know there was an upcoming BAC stream. im like a fake ahh fan... ill do my best to be there but uh. my duties arent over, despite it being the hols. this sucks :^(

mad respect to you, actually playing the game you watch. my lazy ass would NOT get off my ass enough to do this ever smh. im sure getting knocked off by a piglin is a pain every speedrunner can relate to . same goes from hitting the cope. except for me, if that shit ever happens im skipping the cope and striaght up hitting the bong. for SG legal reasons this is a JOKE! MOH please dont find me

hey you take lit too ? aura level just went up dawg. youve just caught a fat lit lover right here. im a guilty guilty poetry lover. sorry i just love both poetry and prose it makes me go WidePeepoHappy

lowkey though if you ever decide to take a HBG members legs may i suggest mr lewis fulham ive heard him being desrcibed as a birch tree so that means hes tall right. ill even aid and abet! im sure he wouldnt miss a few cm

bro did NOT just do the clash royale laugh at me😒😒my friends keep telling me im firmly chaotic evil. like damn where is the democracy bros didnt even give me a chance to squeak out a fart before straight up attacking my reputation😟 they my opps frfr

i get it when you say you get pressed cause whenever things dont go as theyre supposed to i inwardly get more and more tilted LMAOOO dw ur not the only one.

i would loooove to watch hbg do more sports related content because i find it hilarious that the one time at twitchcon (?) during poundy's football match there were SO MANY INJURIES... tf you mean couri broke his mf elbow in a sport supposedly restricted to legs. as a sportsperson i really do love playing sports wahaha <3

i cant tell if youre serious about liking amath but damn if you like amath thats really good smile :) much more formula based but overall more predictable.

question for today... what made you decide talkingmime was your favourite hbg member? kinda curious and wanted to give you a reason to yap more about him . feel free to type out a response the lnegth of the mekong river, i promise ill read it i love to read (maybe that why im such a good lurker LMAO). personally im still undecided on who my favouirte member is, but since ive talked so much about mr condiment cringe man 21custard i guess ill just say i like him cause of his goofy ahh humour and memes. im just a sucker for people with good vibes/dryass humour/an entire arsenal of your mom jokes. dont ask about tgat last one. im currently trying to know tekniik better and im falling victim to more deez nuts and your mom jokes than ive ever experienced before. i love it btw

holy yap i think ive talked too much.....never trust anything you say after 9pm....i think they were right the demons got to me. namely my unhealthy terminal obession with fart jokes. same to you, hope you have a beautiful mongey pyun pyun morning <3 always happy to give you an essay response. arigato for readin ;)

-sgmcsr anon

hi anon!!! sorry for the late response, I just got sick and I WAS SLEEPING FOR HALF THE DAY TODAY. let's get cracking

about my amazing spectacular skibidi English, yes! natural English a1-er ^_^ well actually it was only up till like eoys where I got my first DEVASTATING B3, but apart from that, I've been doin good for English. call me. idk Shakespeare. idk. ALSO SHARING OF YAP.. whenever you gain the courage to ask on main, I'll gladly yap with you... I'm online literally 24/7 now that I've got nothing to do with my life, so it'll be nice to speak with someone in the same timezone and who has the same interests that I do.

about my primary school, yeah it was a little bit of a nightmare academically. coming to think of it, because of all I experienced, it doesn't seem that bad because I experienced it. but on paper it's terrible. wow. anyway, not to be trauma dumpy or unskibidi ^_^ struggling to make friends in my current school, and MOE's school system is unrelentless as always, but ball it we fuck, I am okay.

about marker mediums.. I see... that's really cool.. yeah, all my markers are like. dried up and I haven't bothered to go buy new ones or ask for new ones </3 I'd love to see the weed smoking kazuha one day... very excited

about my skibidi HBG wallpaper. I feel like my layout is hella cramped, but its what I have to work with because. I don't know how to organise my phone. maybe I'll sit down one day and figure out how to make it cooler </3 also, very mongeyful, very beautiful. I am filled with mongey joy. ome

not sure if it's obvious, but fein has also cultivated my usage of the word 'skibidi' specifically?? it's very obvious because I say it every 5 seconds :') and because of one specific mime clip, fulham has influenced me to say the word 'peculiar' very very often 😭😭😭 like instead of calling someone weird, I'll say 'dude! you're soooo peculiar.' yeah, I'm a little normal!

bout the upcoming BAC stream, yeahhh I don't blame you... mime released that fact like. a couple streams ago, and even then nobody knew he was live except for like. 20 people? so i dont think it's just you who doesn't know, dw! I'm just caught in the loop :3 besides, it's on either November 22nd or 23rd, and it'll take at least 24 hours, so don't worry about not catching it for at least a little ^_^

about my. haha. very terrible learning of how to speedrun. despite getting all the help I could ever want to speedrun, I'm still absolutely terrible at it, and I can never find the motivation to do so </3 I'd love to be better and gain more confidence or motivation.. I just don't know how to do that. also, fuck hoglins, suck it pigs >:(

ALSO. FUCKING FART JOKES?? I'm drawing the line...anon... you are behind bars now........ STAY AWAY!!!!! (/j please stay they're funny) as someone who's purely true neutral, I have no comment and will nod my head, saying 'normal ass Tuesday in singapore'

about which HBG members people.. fuck it you get the point I'm tired of this format. yeah! Singaporeans and their short fuses, it is so normal and I am no exception </3 it's awesome tho, I can keep boundaries as someone who says yes too much 😎 hell eyah

HBG FOOTBALL. couriway breaking his arm, silver r runs spraining his ankle and tapl harvey also. straining his ankle iirc??? that shit was so chaotic. IF YOU WANT HBG PLAYING LIKE. FOOTBALL. THE MINECRAFT KIND. here's a feinbergfunny/feinberg rocks video. enjoy.

I haven't done too much amath, but. ohhh it's so. clear cut?? it's very inchresting. I think it's not terrible so far... but I can't say for myself </3 must keep grinding forward and see

GOLDS DAILY DOUBLE.. why is mime my favourite HBG member.. and how did I come to that conclusion... man, it's been like 2 months.. I think it's cuz i watched the silverrrunsfunny video about HoN? and it's a lot of mime n silverr clips... the 5 minutes that they were trapped doing parkour in a cubby hole tryna get the last easter egg made me extremely intrigued like.. who is this MIME GUY... he's so peculiar... and then I finish the video, and see talkingmimefunny recommended!! I watched all his videos. and I got hooked. SO FAST. ended up finding people who also like him, and found out he did BAC, and. the rest is history. or historix. haha. Hahaha. I like mime because of how smart and organised he is, I also like how he take initiative in a lot of events that he's participating in together with friends. I also like people who are snarky and have a very interesting voice but you didn't hear this from me. at all. aaanyway, apart from mime, I also really like nEmerald and fein? I like emerald because he reminds me of lifesteal cc mapic, which drew my attention to him. he's also really silly. and I'm a sucker for people who have green as their colour pallete. feinberg.. he's just. silly. and he's feinberg man I don't know what else to say bout that 🤷

Holy yap. happy 11pm! NEVER UTTER THE WORDS 'HAVE A BEAUTIFUL MONGEY PYUN PYUN MORNING' EVER AGAIN. I CRIED. SO HARD. it's fucking hilarious. I'll start using that with my friends. anyway, as always, have a skibidi-tastic, mega ultra kawaii, animefied morning if you see this, and an alpha, rizz master night if you're seeing this at night and you stay up.

here's your daily mime doodle :)

[awrkive]

Hi bby now that this story has come to an end I can once again praise you for your master mind you are so amazing the way you come through every single time crazyyyyy i love you for this and i love the tlp couple so muchjjdh also crazyyyyy I GENUINELY HOPE EVERYBODY FINDS THIS TYPE OF LOVE ik its highly unlikely but ladies and gentlemen and nonbinaries please dont settle for less find a love that heals u udhhshsshfjfj i love love so much but im also a little scared of it ngl anyways i wanted to ask;

i remember when u posted part 2 there was supposed to be a smut scene. Now that the story has ended can you tell us what was the story line that changed? I suppose

ps now that this story has ended and youre taking a break I will also take a break and delete tumblr and I’ll see u soon bc i aint forgetting my nb couple i miss them and i’ll miss u so take care of urself drink water and take breaks i know uni is hard been there done that but dont pressure yourself for anything! Not even homework! If you need a break then take it pls pls pls i swear you will power through once its over or atleast i hope u do bc that what happened to me or maybe its the fact that im a last year and i take my vitamins so i have found the energy to work hehe

Thats for my rant going to take a good nights sleep now xoxo

HELLO YOU sweet human angel ): !!!! i will enjoy my break as u wish!!

you are so REAL!! everybody deserves the kind of love that gives you peace just like tlp jk and oc 🥹 i wish it was easy and that it happens to everybody frequently but unfortunately it doesnt 😭 needless to say, i put all my Jelusions in this part and im glad you guys loved it!

as for ur question, the smut scene that was omitted from part 2 was actually the shower scene with jk in the earlier part of part 3. tlp finale was supposed to start with the scene where oc was at her sisters and jins place – so yeh, it doesnt really have a significant change for the entire plot! i just cut it out bcs tlp 2 was getting too long! (i say as tlp 3 reached 40k OWBDOSJWODJ)

[cheban-png]

People dont act like people anymore

First time doin this on my puter woah, lawl. Anyways, not so fun topic that i want to put into the world but have no one to share it with--so why not on my shiny new and very public Tumblr acc?

Hi im Chebe, and i was a bit of a hermit for a couple years. Maybe it was the npd, or the adhd, or the pandemic, or the bullying, or something else but I was REALLY against the idea of making any friends for a couple years and became pretty isolated. I got to the point where i was only talking to like 3 people max that werent family for extended periods of time. fFr the last year however, ive been working, and thats really pulled me out of my shell. I made a new years resolution that id put myself out there and meet people again--and as i learn to make friends again, im remembering some of the reasons i was so opposed to it in the first place.

(This next part is situations that happened to me and extremely close friends, but for simplicity and privacy ill speak as if all the stories are my own.) One of my biggest things is that something weird and fucked up happened the second 2019 ended and everyone became absolutely insufferable. I cant even describe it but everyone around me both in school at the time and online became like. hyper sensitive but also evil at the same time. I have never seen a human so disgustingly manipulative while sugar coating their language with over/misused tone tags and faux medical speak at the same time. WHERE DID YOU PPL LEARN TO ACT LIKE THIS LMAOO. how you abliest and an ally at the same time dog. whatever thats not what this is about, that was one tiny vague example ^_^

Anyways the actual biggest thing is probably oversharing. no one gets to know each other anymore and it creates rlly weird unnatural relationships that humans arent supposed to experience. in my bios, i try to only share things you know by a first, in person interation with me. Im biracial (black/white), im trans (strictly he/him), im fat and you may call me Chebe or Angel. i even feel weird saying i have npd/adhd. im sharing because its relevent. man this is getting too long,,

an extremely common thing that happens to me is ppl STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET will send me these chunky paragraphs that follow the same format; "You/your art/your fashion inspires me so much, how do i copy this exactly?". Everythiung that makes me ME was developed over the course of my entire life??? what do you mean??? just the other day i got, "Whats ur style called??! i cant seem to find anything that 'perfectly' fits the way you are." and that was fucking horrifying. This was a stranger ive never ever seen the face/name/voice of. like can you guys even wrap your head around what an insane and invasive thing to say that is? i get shit like that ALL the time.

Dude i. im people. im human. I have lived a life and i am built up of microscopic fragments of all my experiences. im not a pinterest board or an influencer selling the ~aesthetic~ that is my life. Im a real human being and i am the way that i am because??? THATS JUST HOW I AM NATURAL:LY!!!!! i am like this becuase i LIKE being this way!!!!

and dont be ignorant, im scemo and find inspiration everywhere i go just like everyone else, but it is so deranged to dm a stranger and go "you are so amazing.... how do i clone everything that makes you unique and human"

this is NOT about gatekeeping or whatyeverthafuck i need you people to realize im SCARED and these are tiny instances in my life that make me worry about my future because some of you bitches are DOPPLEGANGERS (/silly /lh)

[ellabsprincess]

oh god ok im back to catch up on whats happening. this is a LONG one so im gonna try and put it like the messages (lets say pink is me and they are purple) and i got so bold i held my breath everytime i sent something i had butterflies 😭

you will make me twirl my hair n giggle istg oo good i like doing that to ppl, its fun to watch 😽 ur just making it worse STOPPPP 😭 hmm no 🥰 i like making people flustered [name] i did tell you i was a flirty person well you are succeeding i know why do you think im continuing with it oh my god id stop if it wasn’t working [reply to oh my god] you alright there? mhm sure what you don’t believe me no i completely believe you and thats where i don’t believe you 🥰 but anyways now what do you mean by that? are you trying to distract me by any chance hmmmm hmmm? depends depends? on what do tell i dont think i will 🥰 i could say something so gay and you havent been? no i most definitely have i can tell what more do you expect from me honestly im tempted rn are you suddenly nervous now? oh shush ykw fine ill say it just because of that [reply to i dont think i will🥰] i could easily make you 😽 happy? very good we’re so gay is that such a bad thing? no not at all good [they send a pic of them and their cat] that is the cutest pic ever only bc hes in it oh well i guess the cats cute ig 🙄 oh shush but i really dont think you want me to. do you? thats true good i started something here and honestly im proud of it and what would that be? well [reply to but i really dont think you want me to. do you?] whatever’s going on here? oh? using my own shit against me, smartass (THIS GOT ME SO BAD) what can i say? i guess i am a smartass [after talking abt their cats they ended up sending a pic of themselves] pretty pretty ahhh whehejdhd thank youu no need to thank me <33 yes there is hm? there is a need to thank you and why would that be because your being sweet to me nice giving me a compliment therefor how can i not? stop omg okay 😭🫶🏻 that was so sweet wtf i dont think you really want me to stop shush you aren’t supposed to know that part oh? shsushshshhs i switch up so fast its crazy contrary to what im saying, you make me nervous. in a good way oh? nnonooo shshhshshd my tummy doing flips bold of you to admit [name] well, did you not like me saying it? you know i did

AND AND AND WE WENT TO SLEEP BUT OMG THIS IS SO LONG SORRY also they they find this i will kms

-autistic loser anon

I FEEL SO HONORED THAT IM A WITNESS TO ALL OF THIS OMG

also the effort you put into this post omg you're so cute!!

ALSO YALL ARE HARDCORE FLIRTING OMG JUST LIKE PROPOSE AT THIS POINT AHHHHHHHHHH

the little "oh" I WOULD BE SHAKING

[celestie0]

can i just first say this is sincerely one of the best things thats ever happened to me in my time on this app 🤣 tysm for this, i was hoping an actual engineer and/or physicist would find this post and im so enthralled rn

I am coming in here as a Professional Engineer who works with fluid flow all day and won't be distracted by imagining Gojo's girthy, throbbing member pulsing inside me as I feel his warm... What was I saying?

i literally screamed at this lmfao thx for matching the humor in ur peer review i cld cry

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE UNTIL RN THAT L ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE LENGTH OF VAGINAL CANAL ITS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE FROM HIS URETHRA omg i gasped. i feel like how i used to feel leaving lecture halls in college thinking i slayed tf outta my physics exams n then the score comes back 44%🧍🏻‍♀️🤣 also tyvm for drawing over my diagram i am so greatly honored by this

omggg p1 is also supposed to be pressure at urethra n not vaginal entrance bc thats where the fluid is cumming from🧍🏻‍♀️………..this is why i stuck to bio LMAO im so humbled rn 🤣🤣 also godbless articles w the value in the title 🙇🏻‍♀️

engineer reblog op, are u insinuating that gojo uses his infinity to block cervix bruising action LMFAOOO 🤣🤣 i seriously can’t w this rn (also thats a pretty dope form of birth control)

i’m a little lost on the explanation regarding his intrusion of the vagina canal 🤔 i had to draw it to understand i think this is what you mean:

i just tried to look up what a laplace transform is n saw the integral n felt like crying🧍🏻‍♀️but i was curious ab it n why you said it’s applicable here and hmm are u referring to how gojo’s infinity does not act as an actual physical barrier as gege has stated in jjk, therefore there is no true “length” we can approximate here if he uses his infinity? i notice in this article that explains how there is this Se^-a0t aspect:

(i havent taken calculus in over four yrs if im so wrong ab this pls excuse me lmaooo) but is this part of the equation related to t (as some variable in a function based on the context?) as it approaches infinity (aka in this case his thrusts as he approaches his infinity barrier within this vagina canal)? idk what the actual correct variable is to assign for t haha or if that’s even something to assign here

but in the case mentioned in that article with t approaching infinity, plugging that in would look like this i believe:

and then graphed:

again i’ve absolutely no fucking clue if any of this is right 🤣 BUT IF THIS IS WHAT YOU MEANT FOR USE OF THAT LAPLACE TRANSFORM THING THEN…….😨 i am so mind boggled by this. beyond simple use of infinity to restrict impregnation/cervical injury within the vaginal canal, i am so intrigued by the math behind his infinity technique in general!!! i also wonder, he mentions that people get slower as they get closer to him, might that imply the y-axis is some unit of distance? since as x approaches infinity and y approaches this bound value dashed line (lol i think there’s a name for it i cant remember rn tho) the values of y become increasingly smaller which would match what gojo stated 🤔 again i’m so fearful i’m talkin out my ass rn i feel so vulnerable 🤣 i was a bio/biochem major so i didn’t take much maths/physics but i’m very intrigued by this rn. also dont know if this is what u were referring to in the first place either lmao

Tragically, this leaves a whole 1.25" of your sex un-railed, but you'll live in the modern sense and die in the Victorian Poetry sense.

I CANT BELIEVE I GET TO READ THIS REBLOG FOR FREE LMFAO

also you’re tellin me the ideal lovemaking bpm matches the ideal bpm for cpr? 😭 so i can save someone’s life to “stayin alive” by the bee gees but i can also rock someone’s world to it too?

haha 5% as in for significance? (im so haunted by p values thats all that came to mind) BUT OK IM ALL ONBOARD W NEGLECTING STUFF

ouuu thank u for bringing up the linear speed to cross sectional area stuff i was rly confused ab that haha but also i think the reason i turned it into volume was i just made the wild assumption that it takes him one minute to cum 🤣 so mls per min -> how much he cums but thats a stretch n also doesn’t make much sense biologically either for a lot of reasons lol

YAAAAY OUR WOMBS ARE COMPLIANT WITH OHIO STATE ENGINEERING STANDARDS 👏🏼 GIVE IT UP FOR MOTHER NATURE

ok this is way too fucking long, i just wanted to dump my thoughts, pls do not feel as though u need to respond to this, dear engineer reblog op. you’ve made my entire week regardless.

also, to answer quinny’s question here

@quinnyundertow

i think possibly “putputput” is most correct.

ALR PEACE OUT ✌🏼

- ellie professionalgojobrainrotloser42069

what is the flow rate of gojo’s sperm? 🤔

😈 😈 😈 ALRIGHT LET’S FIND OUT

shoutout to m00tie @quinnyundertow since u said there's nothing that turns you on more than hearing how mobile a man's flagella are. this one's for you bb.

alright, first off, because his cum is confirmed to be both incompressible fluid as well as move with laminar flow, these attributes satisfy the conditions of pouiseulle’s law:

i had to do a little bit of research to determine if it was laminar or turbulent flow, and apparently sperm travels with both stokes & laminar flow, which is pretty interesting, and also moves in a sinusoidal propagating wave, likely due to the movements/shape of the flagella

note: microscopic sperm travel & ejaculate fluid travel are two very different things, but i can’t solve for anything microscopic here so we’re just gonna go for the ejaculate fluid only

anyways, to use pouiseulle’s law, let’s first determine our variables, and make sure we get the units right as well! always draw a diagram w all the variables:

now, let’s identify the variables:

1. radius (r) of tube -> this refers to the pipe/tube, therefore in this case, the vaginal canal. now since gojo has decided to creampie, we can assume that the radius of the vaginal canal will be equivalent to the radius of his girth as he is stretching you out. gege told me the diameter of his big fat schlong is approximately 3 inch girth, therefore the radius = 3/2 = 1.5 inches

2. ΔP refers to change in pressure gradient, in this case i’ve decided to have P1 as pressure at vaginal canal opening, and P2 as pressure at the end where the cervix is. therefore, ΔP = (P1 - P2) for the equation. i know you’ve got that gorilla grip coochie, esp when the world’s strongest sorcerer is fuckin you SENSELESS, but all things considered this is a very difficult parameter to measure, therefore i found this article to help out with this:

we’re going to assume “contraction pressure” (at the vaginal canal opening) is P1, due to gojo’s intrusion. and we’re going to assume “pressure at rest” is P2 at the end near the cervix (he’s pulled out a lil bit ok this makes things easier for me)

kPa are the units that we want for ΔP in this case, therefore it’s a simple calculation:

ΔP = P1 - P2 = 41.8 kPa - 26.8 kPa = 15 kPa

3. the last variable we need to account for here is L, which is the length of the PIPE HE’S LAYIN INSIDE OF YOU (jk it’s just length of ur coochie). now, i imagine this man is a generous lover, and he’s alr made you cum a few before he stuck it inside, so with arousal, the vaginal canal length has likely increased to about 5 inches (moreso 4.75in based on avg values in research but he stretched you in even more during the sexing!!) therefore L = 5 in

4. the other two values are just constants:

π = pi 3.1415 (imma just use pi function in calc)

η = this is viscosity of a fluid. based on this research article, the viscosity of human semen is approximately 9.35 cps. we want these units in kPa•s (remember that your units need to match the units of the other variables), so we need to use density of sperm (1.043 g/ml) to convert the factor (i just used chatgpt lol) but the conversion factor is pretty similar therefore we will just plug in something close to 9.35 kPa•s (true value is a little smaller)

ALRIGHT WONDERFUL! WE HAVE DETERMINED ALL OF OUR VARIABLES :) NOW WE JUST NEED TO PLUG IT INTO OUR EQUATION/DIAGRAM:

*note: mind the units! (shown in blue) there are lots of variations on how flow rate can be shown w the units, so u wanna be careful that they match

YAAAAY!! so the flow rate (Q) of gojo’s cum is approximately 0.63787 in^3/sec ☺️💕

use a quick converter online, and we can make it into liters per minute -> 0.02214 l/min. convert this to milliliters -> 22.14 mls

which means that, in one of gojo’s average cumshots, he cums 22.14 mls of ejaculate !!! :0 sheesh that’s a lot!!

but how does this value compare to other men? research varies, but on average, men ejaculate between 1-10mls per orgasm, therefore the world’s strongest sorcerer cums more than TWICE the worldwide average!!

and one final calculation shows us that when he finishes, it’s at about 0.369 mls per second :) that's fuckin fast!!!

thank you for cumming to my ted talk!! byee

alr ellie out ✌🏼😖 (i have sm brainrot)

[spaceyflowerswriting]

hi I'm back again, I requested the vin jin study date one and it was the best piece of literature I've read. It was so good that I wanna request another vin jin one cause I'm down so bad. This time could it be a scenario with him but he shows his eyes to the reader?

p.s. dont forget to take care of yourself ❤

connection (vin jin x reader)

details: soft oneshot, gender neutral reader written in 2nd pov, general canon au, you and vin jin are dating

summary: your boyfriend decides to finally reveal what's under his sunglasses to you.

a/n: thank u for requesting anon <33 thats rlly high praise,, im happy u liked that one so much T_T 💘 i hope this works for u, and i hope ur taking care of urself too :]

×

Vin Jin NEVER made plans. Things just happened and he rolled along with it, or he would make things happen, and whatever happened would happen. He just wasn't the careful kind of guy, and often he acted without thinking.

For once, though, he made a plan. A plan revolving around something very important to him, one that needed much consideration and steps to take. He even did it without any help! Yes, maybe some advice from his smarter friend Mary would've been helpful, but he wanted to be as genuine as possible so he chose to do things in his own unique, messy way.

That was part of his charm--according to you, anyway--and he wanted to utilize it specifically because this plan involved revealing a secret to you. What better way to go about it could there be?

~

"Vin Jin, where are we going?"

"It's a secret!" He turned to make sure your eyes were still closed. It was really hard to see with his sunglasses and the darkness of night, but with enough staring, he could kind of see that your eyes were still closed. He smiled triumphantly and faced forward again to continue leading you by hand.

"Why? So secret you can't even show your lover the way to get there?"

"Can't you let me be romantic for once?"

"Pardon?" You wheezed and Vin Jin turned a little red.

He cleared his throat and attempted to defend himself. "Didn't this exact thing happen in the K-drama you were watching with Mary the other day? You were talking about how sweet it was." He turned a little more red when he remembered walking by and almost blurting out about how cringey and cheesy the scene was until you stated your opinion on it.

His response only elicited more laughter out of you. "Vin Jin, you are so cute."

"Man, shut up," he muttered, "I regret doing this."

"And yet you're still walking~"

"Because--" Vin Jin's small annoyance was quickly replaced with excitement at the sight ahead of him. "We're here!" He started sprinting and you yelped.

"Can I open my eyes now?! You're gonna make me trip!"

"Yes, whatever, c'mon!" His hand still held tightly onto yours as he ran until he felt he was at an appropriate distance to the small lake. He took a deep breath of the fresh air in the open space and then looked behind himself at you.

Walking forward to stand by his side, you looked around and asked, "This is where you wanted to bring me?"

You didn't sound as awed as he hoped you would and frowned a little. "Why? Is this place not cool?"

"You brought me here before to have a picnic."

"I did?" Vin Jin scrambled to find a memory of this and turned red once more when he did. "Fuck."

How lame. This was supposed to be a heartwarming moment where you say, "Wow, you brought me to a place personal to you?" and he was supposed to reply, "Yeah, because you're my number one, babe." Actually didn't that happen the first time he did bring you here?

He tried to brush his scenario aside when you started laughing. Again.

"Never change, Vin." He huffed when he felt you press your lips against his cheek.

"You know I won't. Now let's sit." He started to sit down and practically dragged you along.

"What are we doing?" You hurried to sit with your legs crossed.

Vin Jin let go of your hand to snap with both of his fingers. "We're going to stargaze." He grinned at your amused expression.

"Okay, I'm ready when you are."

"But first..." Here comes his plan. "Uh." Vin Jin had never so intensely felt the pain of "easier said than done" until now. "I need to take off my sunglasses, y'know? Can't stargaze if you can't see shit."

He tried to watch your expression to see how he could proceed. All you did was widen your eyes. It seemed like you were going to say something so he waited, but it only resulted in an awkward pause.

"So... uh... yeah, gonna take off my sunglasses," he eventually continued, slowly bringing his hands up to his shades. "Don't mind me."

Yup. This was his plan. Be as casual as possible; because he knew if he tried to take himself seriously, he would only trip over himself and possibly end up clamming up.

This way he could also not pressure you with his anxieties. He knew it wouldn't be right to tell you, "I'm going to show you my fucked up eye and if you scream or make a single disgusted reaction I am going to dig a hole and live in it for the rest of my life," no matter how much he wanted to say it.

If you wanted to break up with him because of his eye, so be it. He didn't want to lose you no matter what, but if you left because of an "ugly" part of him, he knew you wouldn't be worth it anyway. No loving person would leave their partner for something like a physical trait considered unusual.

Well... that's what he was trying to tell himself.

Vin Jin gulped, growing frustrated that he couldn't stop his shaky hands. Your eyes still on him didn't help. At this point, he had his hands on the sides of his sunglasses but was just holding them there.

Nearly a whole uncomfortable minute passed before you spoke. "Sorry, do you... want me to look away?"

The gentleness in your voice combined with the sincere look of concern on your face was the last push Vin Jin needed. He took a steady breath before replying, "Nah, it's good." He didn't let you say anything more in case it would've stopped him from what he was about to do, so he just quickly took his sunglasses off and set them aside.

Immediately he looked away from you out of instinct and cursed at himself before trying to casually lay down on the grassy floor. He glanced at you to see you looking away as well. If only he could see your expression.

He crossed his arms behind his head while you laid down next to him.

It was silent again. The mood was too tense for a peaceful activity like stargazing.

"I walked into this, I better damn finish it."

Vin Jin slowly turned his head towards you. He tried to start a conversation, but only opened his mouth to close it. He knit his brows as he let a few more seconds of silence pass before relaxing his facial features and saying, "It's way easier to stargaze in the countryside."

"Yeah, I'd imagine. All these city lights are ruining stargazing." You replied lightly, chuckling even, but you appeared as tense as the mood. Your eyes were focusing intently on the sky above; as if looking back at Vin Jin would cost you your life. It honestly made him feel bad for how sensitive he had been in the past about trying to hide his eyes, but at the same time was glad you were so respectful of his boundaries.

"Right?" He continued to stare at you, hoping he would not have to prompt you to look at him. "I wanna take you there one day. Not where I'm from, but somewhere in the countryside."

"I'd love that."

A soft smile formed on his lips. "There's also a lot more space in the countryside. Less people plus less streets and places to navigate. I think it'd be nice to run around there with you."

"Mhm. I'm guessing that's why you like this place so much. Does it remind you of the countryside?"

"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the city, but it's nice not having to worry about running into something every five seconds."

"Hm, well, maybe that has to do with the sunglasses you wear?" The way you were easing into the conversation made Vin Jin give himself an internal pat on the back.

"I got you and Mary to help me navigate around, don't I?"

"Can't do that for the rest of our lives, you know," you chuckled again.

"No choice, you're both stuck with me until the day I die."

"Guess I can't complain then. I signed up for this after all."

"Yes, you did."

The talking continued as topics and bantering bounced back and forth between the two of you. A few minutes in, Vin Jin turned away from you to admire the stars with you. He knew he was "chickening out," but tried to convince himself this was part of his plan to be casual. He did say he wouldn't force you to do anything.

~

It finally happened, albeit an accident.

While telling you an embarrassing childhood story about Mary, Vin Jin and you had turned to look at each other as he was saying, "She got all mad and looked at me like this--"

He was pretty sure your eyes widened at the same time as his. He froze up, his brain yelling at him to hurry and put his sunglasses back on, but he did his best to ignore it and tried to finish his story.

"Uh." The words were caught in his throat. "She..."

You were staring. There was no look of disgust. No look of fear. Only simple curiosity and surprise. Dare he say... entranced? As if you were observing an artpiece and trying to figure out its meaning, rather than looking at a freak.

Suddenly the fear Vin Jin was feeling was replaced by him getting flustered. He couldn't stop himself from turning away and that was when you seemed to have realized you were staring.

"I-I'm so sorry!" A waterfall of words spilled from your mouth, but mostly apologies. You tried to explain yourself but could barely form a sentence. It would have been cute if you didn't sound so panicked.

Vin Jin said your name, which got you to become silent, and then, "It's fine."

"It's--it's fine?" you repeated, now sounding confused.

"Yeah." Vin Jin forced himself to turn back to look at you. You were looking away once again. Now that you finally got a look at his eyes, he decided to be less indirect. "What's wrong?" He plastered on his iconic grin, playing dumb. "You never seen someone's eyes before? Weirdo."

"I... but... you..."

Turning to lay on his side, Vin Jin put his elbow out so he could prop his head up with his hand. "But what? You can turn back around, I don't care." Despite his confident tone, he was still physically shaking a little but he just hoped you wouldn't notice if you looked back.

"Vin..." Your voice softened. Still, you did not yet turn. "I don't understand. Why are you suddenly okay with showing me your eyes?"

"Ah, fuck." Time to get serious, he supposed.

Vin Jin sighed. "I just think it's about time I show you. I can't imagine never getting to see you properly for the rest of my life 'cause of my darkened shades."

You took a few seconds to process his words. "Aren't they an insecurity of yours, though? I'm just confused about why you're so carefree about them now."

"That's..." Vin Jin swallowed whatever pride he still had at the moment. "Because I figured it was the best way to go about it for me. There was no way in hell I was gonna sit down with you and seriously talk to you about an insecurity." He tried to crack a joke to ease his nerves. "Besides, how awkward would that be, right?"

"Huh." The silence that passed made Vin Jin beg you to say literally anything at all--internally, of course. "Are you absolutely sure it's okay for me to look at your eyes?"

"Yes. I think it's like..." Vin Jin wished he was better with his words. "A sign of trust, you know? And I trust you, a lot."

"I see." He watched as your body tensed up and then finally, you turned back around. The immediate eye contact made him tense up with you.

It happened again.

You had the same look full of love as you always did for him. There was just other emotions tossed in, but nothing bad.

This second time was a confirmation of sorts for Vin Jin that you viewed him the same. He didn't become a monster to you, he was only just your boyfriend. A human with an unordinary eye. And you still loved him.

Relief washed over him.

"May I ask what happened...?" you carefully questioned.

"Polycoria," he said, "is the name of the condition. I, uh, I'll tell you more about it another day. Probably." Nervously smiling, he moved back to lay down on his back and look at the stars. "This was. A lot." He spoke through gritted teeth, cringing at his every word and feeling like he was a sweaty mess. "I don't have anymore... um. Vulnerability to share. I'm done today."

Whatever emotion was running through him was indescribable, but just like how you looked at him, it wasn't bad so that was something.

Thankfully, your melody of laughter came along and soothed his soul. "Alright, that's understandable, Vin." You also turned away, joining him to stargaze. "Thanks for sharing this part of you with me. I'll make sure to take good care of it."

Vin Jin wondered how he ever scored someone as kind as you. If he wasn't overwhelmed with emotions before, he was now. All he felt like he could do was grab your hand and say, "I love you."

You hummed, rubbing his thumb with yours. "I love you, too."

His heart practically exploded. He was also starting to feel a little dumb. How could he have ever doubted you? Why did he take this long to show you his eyes when he knew you would still love him the same?

Ah, it didn't matter. That was done and over with now.

Vin Jin smiled at the sparkly stars above. Until he remembered he should finish his story about Mary, so he turned back to you and continued. He stared at you lovingly as the conversation carried on and felt glad he pushed himself for this moment.

Tomorrow morning would be the first time he would properly get to see you with sunlight shining on your skin, without his sunglasses in the way.

[boysareouttonight]

listen if u think about it macdennis is tragic in a way. u just wanna buy some weed in high school and then when u realize u just met ur best friend and hanging out with him is the best part of ur day and u know what this is u fucking know it bc u dont feel this way with any girl but hes not into boys he'd be disgusted and probably cut off ties with u if u ever brought this up so u just push all ur feelings deep inside u then u come back from college and decide to move in with him bc u wanna spend every second with him and thats what u do and u become codependent u have the most fun when u're with him no one makes u feel like this he makes u laugh and then gives u the most warming smile in return bc he likes to see u happy hes the fucking love of ur life and no one in this entire world would understand u better than him its like u two are living in ur own bubble that no one can pop until ur sister calls u married couple and then like woah hold on ppl are starting to notice this wasnt supposed to happen but u cant stay away from him its not the same when hes not around so u go back to keep doing what u've been doing all those years bc u two are straight right everyone knows this and u're fine with what u two have u would rather have him like this than not have him at all, u already share a life together but things are starting to change its getting more obvious than hes gay he tries to kiss u once but thats all this is i mean who would not be physically attracted to u and hes too deep into his religious trauma to ever come out even tho everyone knows. and then he comes out. u're so proud of him and alongside this feeling theres also anger and jealously bc how dare he. how dare he ruin what u have how dare he take this weight off of him while u're not there yet how are u gonna keep having that relationship if now this has another implication, this is too real. and then a few weeks later theres stupid valentine's day that u fucking hate bc it reminds u of how no one is gonna truly love u or want to be with u if not in a sexual way and u just want that day to be over until u have the biggest realization. that ur best friend doesn't only wanna hook up with u. hes in love with u. he gives u unconditional love even if he thinks u dont love him back. he doesnt care bc for him loving is so easy its like second nature hes not ashamed of it and he doesn't care if the other person feels the same. u break down bc where was all this when u were teenagers why couldn't he have done this sooner why did it have to be now. u love him so much that u cant handle it and then u skip town thinking things are gonna get better and u're gonna forget him but u miss him too much. and then u come back but u're angry. angry that macs acceptance is trying to speak to a part of urself and make u confront feelings that u wanna burry deep inside u. angry that hes so open to love. that he seems so light now like he never was before. so u push him away and at the same time brings him closer and more depended on u bc the more u push him away the more clingy he becomes bc he would do anything for u and u love when he takes care of u he makes u feel safe and u wonder every day what it would feel like to be in his arms and to kiss him and to hold his hand and to wake up next to him. hes ur best friend ur roommate ur life partner ur business partner but u cant. u wouldn't know how to do this u wouldn't know how to love and to let urself be loved u need to remain in control. it hurts every time u scream at him and he gives u the sad puppy eyes he all he wants is to make u happy but u don't know how to act in any other way and then quarantine comes and u're forced to spend more time with him and its almost like old times just the two of u having fun together in ur own bubble without any worry or guilt and u want this back and ur sister says 'maybe u should get a boyfriend' and it hits u that mac isn't yours anymore he never was and soon enough hes gonna move on with someone else bc hes ready and u're not.

[yatsugareboyf]

Poe x female reader

Confession and dating headcannons plz

sorry this took a while heres loml poe

confession and dating hcs with edgar allan poe

yknow that trope where

he writes a bunch of love letters but he doesnt end up sending them?

yeah thats him . thats poe w you

like all his letters would range from short poems to full on essays and even debated on writing a novel where he can guide you

but he just trashes all the ideas bcs he thinks you wouldn't like it :((

but he asks ranpo for help and ranpo is like, "bitch u better send her one rn or else she'll find all of them and u wouldn't want that"

so he puts himself together and makes this moderately long letter (he still thinks its not enough for someone like you)

and asks ranpo to leave it at ur desk when u get to work (assuming u work for the ada)

no bcs when he says its not enough hes lying

that letter had you SOBBING

like atsushi thought u got a death threat or smthn 😭

u had to step out of the office to collect urself and ranpo is just laughing his ass off

ofc u were so touched so u had to send a letter back to poe

(ranpo does not like where this is going)

so there was this time where u and poe were just sending letters to each other via ranpo

one day he had enough and instead of bringing your letter to poe he literally dragged you to poe

so now u and poe are sitting across each other, awkwardly looking anywhere but each other despite shamelessly flirting in letters

when poe was abt to speak, karl beat him to it and started circling around you and sniffing you

u were abt to PANIC like THIS IS KARL

but then he jumps up to your head and lays down there 

which causes u and poe to laugh a bit

“excuse my karl, y/n, i think hes very fond of you”

“well i hope hes not the only one whos fond of me”

so now u two just talk and flirt for a bit and u didnt notice the time

"oh, poe-kun, its getting a bit late. we should do this another time?"

"definitely! uhm, how can i contact you?"

so yeah u exchanged numbers

he definitely jumped around w joy for a bit

so u guys went on more and more dates and u got to know each other more and

fr ranpo is the best thing that happened to the 2 of u bcs if he didnt step in yall would just stay labeless forever

"so what are you two supposed to be?" - ranpo, who let himself join ur bakery date

"what do u mean ranpo-san?" - u, who is currently sharing your already tiny seat w ranpo

"like, r yall dating or?"

"d-dating? i mean-" - poe, who's going insane

"yeah? are we not...?" - u, who's being smothered by ranpo's crumbs

"oh... i guess we are" - poe, whos exploding on the inside

ok skipping the awkward parts yall r actually chill

its more of a shared silences and small talk kind of relationship

u dont have to say much for poe to understand and vice versa and you're both content with that

some may not believe y'all when u say yall r a couple bcs both of u arent rlly that affectionate (physically)

which initially got to poe's head

so he tried to like, awkwardly put his arm around u in public or kiss your forehead

u like the affection but u know poe isnt rlly into pda or a lot of physical affection anyway so u told him that he should express his love in his own way rather than what appeals to others

and ofc, his way is through writing!

honestly i love handwritten letters notes and even poems and he'd deliver that always

probably even makes those "open this letter when ure sad" type of gifts?

yeah. Yeah

for poe, he likes to have quality time with you

and even if earlier i said he doesn't rlly like physical affection, he does appreciate it every once in a while

cuddles and being in each other's arms isnt that often, but often enough that u dont rlly get deprived of it

poe enjoys baking with you (even if ranpo literally comes out of nowhere to eat them)

omg yall probably r plant parents

like tending to plants in his enormous garden

I FORGOT POE IS RICH THIS MF IS GONNA SPOIL U subtly

like u spare one long glance at a necklace book its on ur desk w a pretty note

u smiled at a cute piece of furniture? bam its in ur room w a cute letter

u wanted to get new cosmetics? tada hes taking u shopping and slips a little paper in the bag

hes a very observant lover and he knows when u want/need something most of the time

aaaa i love him actually

[luv-beam]

live reaction things 😋:

- HELP ME SUNWOO IS STILL A MENACE SKFNKENF also the lowkey 4th wall break w reader's obsession w kpop and streamers (me too bestie, me too) - oh, btw interesting kind of unrelated question, but i noticed that u write in present tense!! it's just been awhile since i've been properly exposed to it, and i appreciate the way u do it consistently, as well as using past tense in the proper places 💔 sorry some grammar things like that bug me all the time, so i just had to say THANK U !!! OH MY GOD i was supposed to ask if u preferred past or present tense more?? - okok so changmin just latched onto reader's arm and i had a little fuzzy thing happen to me cuz my mom does something like that to me too and it always makes me feel good, like its such a little thing but theres so much affection stored in the gesture - the way i imagined jacob's intro in slow-mo 😃🤧

Changmin hugs you and puts his whole weight on you, making your pace slower. “I’m just flattered that you think about me all the time.”

- i. i cried he's so cute he can hang off me all the damn time idc - AHHH the motif of linked arms throughout the first part so far :') - totally understand that existential crisis feeling 😔 i know i prob am yet to know everything as a rising second year, but sometimes we have to make sacrifices in order to get to where we need or do what we want - i am in fact envisioning this entire thing like a movie/tv show and it is fantabulous (jacob has just said the byline line and the next bit abt reading love from a poet's pov but when u experience it for urself, it turns out to be slightly different, like ur very own experience, ofc) - "bitch say something" ME 💀

Jacob laughs as he takes out his laptop and says, “I get it. Sometimes, it gets hard to really tell whether you like a friend because you see them as a potential partner or you like what’s familiar.”

- looks EMPHATICALLY in changmins direction - i love moonbae so much 😔 they WOULD be the type to take a younger student under their wing and :') - love u twice is playing and changmin just drank too much for yn and im SAD - JACOB MINI VAN MAN???? - wah, its nice to see that they still try to hang out w one amother despite their busy schedules. i feel like the older i am, the less im inclined to hang out w people. i feel like the slightest bit of work or interaction tires me out, and so i dont really hang out w people as much as i used to. some days i do crave having this kind of connection w a group of friends tho. i just love how u wrote them, not like the all's-well kind of group, but they have their own things but they never fail to think of the others, if that makes sense - OMG AN INVITE TO THE DAMCE STUDIO 😃 i feel like something ALWAYS happens in the dance studio - NO DIGGITY MONI DO U WANT ME TO DIE.

“I’m glad to be here, you know?” You lean your head on his shoulder. “I like to know that as we grow in the things we like to do, we’ll always be there to witness each other reach heights we used to dream of.

- this bit and the paragraphs afterward gave me literal shivers, the good kind ofc. something speaks so loudly abt being there to see the people u love get to achieve what they've been chasing after. i LOVE quiet moments of reflection like this that characters experience - reminding each other that they deserve so much and the very best ☹️ - yn appealing to changmins physical touch love language sends me into orbit, im so... im so T-T - listening to baby blue by luke hemmings, vibe-alicious tune that feels oh-so right as they lie beside each other and bask in the other's presence. thats what i want. - DOKYEOM !!! my beloved slice of sunshine - not me realizing i've prob been spelling cruella de vil's name wrong this whole time 💀💀

“Can you stop smacking me?”

- respectfully, no 😁😋 hehe - OMG YNS DOING HIS MAKEUP??? A DREAM SCENARIO OF MINE??? this has to be fan service moni i cant handle this im not antifragile - EXCUSE ME. IM TELLING U THAT MY JAW IS ON THE MOTHERFUCKING FLOOR UR SAYING THAT MASTERFUL MOMENT OF TENSION AND "say no and i wont" WAS A MFKING DREAM??KENDKSNDKDMDK MONI. MONI U CANT DO THIS TO ME U SIMPLY CANNOT I AM NOSNDKEJDKE

FINAL THOUGHTS: lmao so i was actually reading this in bed right and then blr decided to be absolute ass and now i'm out of bed to type this out on my computer TT BUT IT'S WORTH IT!! moni, omg, this was so beautiful like,,, i imagine a lot of things like a movie, but this felt so REAL, like everything was so organic and reader and changmin's relationship, as well as everyone else's, was so beautifully done. this whole thing just felt so warm and comforting to me, like idek how to explain it, but it put me at ease? if that makes sense? anyways, very much looking forward to the second part and to see just how screwed changmin is :D

[part one] of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going) ➵ ji changmin

non-idol!ji changmin x reader, slight non-idol!jacob bae x reader

you and changmin have been best friends since high school, having seen each other at their best and worst. now in your second year of university, you are given the opportunity to work with the unattainable 5th-year you have had a crush on since—jacob bae. with your best friend on the receiving end of your rambles, you could only hope for something to come out of your time working with jacob. that is until changmin decides he wants something more out of his relationship with you.

genre/warnings ➵ friends to lovers, slow burn, so much FLUFF, afab reader (they/them pronouns), drinking, expect a lot of sentimental talks and bantering between changmin and reader, a lot of publication talk (sorry i am a writer), sunwoo is a shithead (and a terrible wingman), slight chanhee x hyunjae (very minimal though), you used to have a crush on sunwoo by the way and now your friends like to laugh about it, sweet angel jacob with his SIGNATURE SMILE!!!, also he may not be unattainable after all???, changmin and reader are so lucky to have each other, slight suggestive dream at the end

word count ➵ 18.8k words (currently... more words to come once i write the 2nd part)

parts ➵ [part two coming soon]

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @winterchimez

a/n ➵ i am so glad to finally have this baby out!! i worked on this a few days after i published my sunwoo fic so :DD was debating whether this would be a changmin or jacob fic but the stars just pointed and my kyu <3 this is very slow burn so i hope you guys will stick with me all throughout! and please be kind if i fail to deliver the 2nd part asap </3 i have other writer duties </3 i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this.

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

There is something frightening that comes with growing up. First, you come into the world with hands too small to carry anything and a mind unable to grasp anything. And no matter how many years you continue on, you never know what to expect from a fickle thing called life. It is as if you impart on a dangerous journey; your knees get wounded; your eyes get tired; your heart gets bruised. Yet, there must be something in the end that makes all the injuries worth it.

The universe had many instances to give you reasons to believe that all the ups and downs you go through are worth it. Instead, you are given three demons that crashed into your feeble life—you cannot seem to get rid of them even if you tried.

“Y/N-ah!” A boy you have grown too familiar with over the years calls out to you while you were exiting the stuffy classroom filled with unknown faces.

You roll your eyes and shake your head. “Sunwoo, have you not gotten tired of me? Can’t last a few hours without me?”

“Yah! I’m only here because you owe me.”

Kim Sunwoo—the reason why you have not known peace since… forever. You got to know him back in grade school where you shared the unfortunate fate of being classmates throughout the years. The shy boy was consistently your seatmate which forced you two to interact. What became casual seatmates turned into best friends that would stick together for every break time.

Somehow, you and Sunwoo have stuck together like glue since then. As the years went by, you have been present for every soccer tournament while he has been present for every competition. And somehow, you found yourselves in high school still joined at the hip. Your friendship has contradicted the popular belief of “losing your grade school friends when you enter high school.” You wish you knew how your friendship continued to survive in college waters.

“I owe you? Doesn’t the favor I asked from you make up for the one you asked from me then?” You frown as you walk with him.

Sunwoo nudges you and says, “That is not what we agreed on.”

“You are literally going off on your own terms, be for real.”

“C’mon Y/N! Don’t you love your best friend of 12 years?”

You give him a side-eye. “I cannot believe you are trying to play that card right now.”

“I always play that card.” Sunwoo shrugs, smirking as he walks with you. “I mean, I wouldn’t like to play the old crush card.”

You gasp at his statement and smack him. “I told you that in secret, you little shit!”

“See! So treat me now!”

Since you two grew up together, it was inevitable for you to harbor some form of infatuation towards the one boy you found yourself sticking with. It was an embarrassing period in your life considering how weird it is to think of Sunwoo under that light now. Thankfully, you got over that crush once you found yourself getting into K-Pop idols and streamers.

“You are so frustrating, Sunwoo.” You rest your back on the wall. “Can’t I just treat you another day? I do not have enough money to buy us both food.”

Sunwoo takes his spot beside you as he stares at the closed door opposite you two. “Fine! But don’t forget.”

“You always seem to make it a point to remind me.” You roll your eyes as he nudges you once more.

“Hey, I’m just trying to get back what I was promised. I mean, do you know the lengths I had to go to somehow get Ja–”

You place your hand on his mouth before he could say more. “Yah, Kim Sunwoo! You cannot be saying that shit out loud,” you whisper in the last sentence.

He grabs your hand and pushes it off his face. “I’m just saying! I’m not trying to spill your secret for everyone to hear. Do you have no faith in me?”

“You’re really asking me that?” You furrow your eyebrows.

“... Point taken.” Sunwoo gives a sheepish smile. “But it was hard to make it all work! You should be glad that I’m good friends with your little publication team.”

Before you could comment, you notice the door swing open as university students make their way out. You pushed your iPad down into your bag as you stood beside Sunwoo. 

“Yah, Changmin!” Sunwoo calls out as he raises his hand. As you tiptoe, you notice the boy who you have grown to love and hate all throughout high school. Once he catches sight of you two, he smiles and makes his way to you.

“Yay! You guys did wait for me,” Changmin says as he quickly stores his glasses away.

“Of course we did. You would scold us if we didn’t,” you say as you roll your eyes.

Sunwoo laughs. “Nice one, Y/N.” He gives you a high-five.

“Hey! You would get mad if I didn’t wait for you.” Changmin shakes his head as he latches onto your arm.

You chuckle and say, “Yeah, I would.”

Ji Changmin—what could you say about this one? Despite the chaos he brings to your world, he seems to be the one person you could handle in big doses. You love Sunwoo but the guy will not get off your ass.

Thanks to Sunwoo, you met Changmin in high school. When Sunwoo decided to look into other extra-curricular activities, he found himself falling in love with dance. And dance brought him to Changmin. The two shared a love for dancing as they found themselves on the dance team representing your school. With all the times Sunwoo and Changmin got along, Sunwoo felt it was only best to bring you and Changmin together.

It is funny to remember how you two first met. At first, you thought you and Changmin would just be friendly—only interacting if Sunwoo planned something among you three.

At first, you did not feel particularly happy about hanging out with Changmin. When you say this, you can only imagine the way people would react. Everyone seemed to love him just at first glance. You though… you were terrified of the guy. Maybe it is because there were not enough instances for you to get to know each other. It did not help that he was two years above you.

Sunwoo seemed to be the glue to keep your friend group of three together. However, it was only when you first joined your high school’s publication team that you got to see Changmin without Sunwoo. It came as a surprise to you then—seeing one of the best dancers in your high school do something that is not dance (minus studying, of course).

At first, you two were awkward as you worked without Sunwoo there to be his usual self. However, the more instances you worked one-on-one with Changmin, the more you realized that there is nothing to be afraid of. With his photos and your writings, you two became an unstoppable team in the publication.

You could remember when Sunwoo first noticed the change in dynamics between you and Changmin. What started off as jigsaw puzzle pieces that did not fit together turned into peas in a pod. Though you never expected that Changmin’s bantering with you could be worse than Sunwoo’s.

“Changmin, you never hold onto me,” Sunwoo says as he glares at you two.

“Because every time I do, you run away from me,” Changmin throws back as he shakes his head. “And Y/N never gets sick of me from holding onto them.”

The three of you started to walk side-by-side. “Where’s Chanhee?” Changmin asks.

“He said to meet him in the ramen place across the athletics building,” you answer as you try to fish out your phone from your pocket. You look down at your phone and send a message to Chanhee as your two friends talk.

y/n: we are on the way xP nyuging 🐧: okie! i got us a table already nyuging 🐧: don’t forget we need to work on the small businesses coverage after y/n: yessir! i’m free after we eat nyuging 🐧: are u fr? man, i have lit class right after the interviews nyuging 🐧: with mr. choi 😭 y/n: NOOOOOOOOO who tf am i gonna stay with nyuging 🐧: not my problem xP nyuging 🐧: you could actually stay with mr. bae 💗😍 y/n: STFUUUU

You groan over Chanhee’s message. “Why?” Changmin looks over at you.

“Chanhee can’t stay with me after we finish up the interviews, and I have to wait for my meeting around 5 PM.”

Changmin sighs and says, “Sucks to be you.”

“Nice one, Changmin.” Sunwoo laughs as he high-fives Changmin.

“Yah! Changmin, you don’t want to stay with me?”

“I have other important things to handle.”

You glare at Changmin and shrug his hand off your arm. “I’m not offering to drive you around anymore. Get used to walking.”

“Yah, I’m just joking!” He jokes around and attempts to grab onto your arm once more.

Sunwoo whines. “Why don’t you bother to ask me?”

“Because I know you’re going to use that time to bother me about how I still owe you.” All he could do was giggle.

“Don’t worry, I’ll stay with you because I know you can’t survive without me.” Changmin smiles as he brings you closer to his side.

You side-eye the boy who manages to rile you up even more than Sunwoo can (maybe it is because you are used to Sunwoo’s antics). “You are so annoying.”

“Yah! Keep that shit up and I’m actually going to ditch you.”

“HEY! Don’t say that! Please, you know I’m never going to get any work done if I’m left alone.”

Changmin scoffs. “Exactly. That is why you need me.” You roll your eyes over his words.

It seems to always be like this with Changmin—sometimes warm, oftentimes cold to you. You did not mind the dynamic you had with him. If anything, it felt perfect since you learned to see how he shows his appreciation towards you without outright saying it. Regardless of the banter, you always find yourself being more sentimental with him compared to your other friends.

Before you could say anything, you hear someone call out your name. “Y/N!” As you whip your head in the direction of where the sound came from, you see the guy of your dreams. Jacob Bae—the unattainable 5th-year in your publication.

The first time you met Jacob was when you got accepted into your university’s publication. Being the only fresh recruit in the Features staff, your editor, Moon Kevin, decided it would be best to get you acquainted with the small crew. Jacob was a senior when you first got to meet him.

Despite usually being terrified of those who were a few years older than you, there was something about him that made you feel at ease. Whether it was his smile or his soft-spoken tone, you always found yourself smiling over the thought of him. Although you never got the opportunity to work with him, you can only hope it would change this year considering your staff was short on manpower.

Your mouth goes dry as you freeze in your place. “Oh my god.”

“Oh no, please act cool,” Sunwoo mumbles as Jacob makes his way to you three.

Changmin nudges him and says, “You know they will not act cool.” Before more words could be shared, Jacob arrives in front of you with that soft smile that never fails to make your insides all mushy.

“Hey, Y/N!” The way he says your name almost has your knees go weak.

A beat of silence passes. You did not know what to say to the senior you had the biggest crush on. It is only when Changmin nudges you that snaps you out of your trance.

“Ah, Jacob! It’s so nice to see you. W-where are you headed?” You squeak out as you give an awkward smile.

“I’m headed to meet with Kevin. I have an article to cram so he’s going to make some edits while I write.”

You gasp and say, “Oh god, good luck. I feel like I’d be too pressured to write anything.”

“Thankfully I’m used to it.” Jacob takes a look at Sunwoo and Changmin. “Hi, I’m Jacob. I’m on the same staff as Y/N.”

Once he puts his hand out, Sunwoo immediately grabs and shakes it. “It’s nice to meet you, Jacob hyung. I’m Sunwoo. I’m also friends with Kevin hyung.”

“Ah, you’re Sunwoo! Yes, Kevin has mentioned you.” Jacob gives a sheepish smile before he takes a look at Changmin. “And you are, Changmin?”

Changmin’s eyes go wide, shocked at Jacob knowing his name. “Yes, that’s me. How did you know?”

Jacob chuckles. “I know it because I have some friends from the Sports staff who cover a lot of stories about the dance troupe that you and Sunwoo are part of. Also, I’ve heard Y/N and Chanhee talk about you.”

Changmin smiles at you and pretends to hold his heart. “You talk about me? Awe, you two really cannot live without me.” You only elbow his side so that he could stop embarrassing you in front of Jacob.

“Anyway, it’s so nice to see you again.” You smile once more at him.

Jacob giggles and says, “Good luck with your coverage of small businesses. I wish I could’ve worked on that with you. I’ll see you later at the meeting?” You only nod to which he smiles.

“Bye Y/N!” And with that, Jacob walked away from you, leaving you with a heart so mushy.

“You seriously need to get better at making your feelings less obvious,” Changmin breaks the mood which only has you elbow him once more.

“You were literally embarrassing me in front of him!” You quietly exclaim as you three continue to walk to the restaurant.

Changmin hugs you and puts his whole weight on you, making your pace slower. “I’m just flattered that you think about me all the time.”

“You know damn well that Chanhee and I are complaining about you.”

Sunwoo laughs and says, “I can’t believe I’m the safe one here.”

“Yah, you are in no way safe. Tell him, Y/N.” Changmin attempts to argue as he stops hugging you (though his arm remains linked with yours).

You sigh and say, “Sadly, he is. I’m used to Sunwoo’s antics and I don’t spend as much time as I used to with Mr. Popular. You, however… I am getting sick of you. Chanhee is too.” Changmin gasps at your words.

“Yeah, I’m ditching you.”

“Changmin, I’m just joking! Please don’t leave me alone.”

It is 2:23 PM. You were with Chanhee as you were wrapping up your interview with the owner of the restaurant, Mr. Lim. The small business has a cozy feel whose dishes focus on the fusion of Korean and Filipino food.

“Thank you so much for letting me interview you!” You and Chanhee bow down to Mr. Lim.

He only shakes his head and hands out a small bag of thin butter cookies. “Please, it’s my pleasure. I look forward to reading that article! Enjoy these lengua de gato.”

“Ah, thank you so much!” Chanhee smiles. “We’ll make sure to visit you again, Mr. Lim!”

As you bid your farewells, you two made your way out of the restaurant. You and Chanhee walked while looking down at the notes and pictures taken.

“How are your pictures?” You ask as you peer over Chanhee’s shoulder to look at the viewfinder.

Chanhee lets out a hum as he scrolls through the photos he took. “I just need to do some minimal edits, but everything looks pretty good. Is your recording good?”

You nod at him as you play a snippet of the recording to him. “It sounds clear. I just hope that it doesn’t get corrupted like last time.”

“God, I remember when your recording got corrupted—in your first coverage too!”

You groan as you quickly stash away your phone and notes. “Don’t even remind me! I felt so bad because you were working with me too. Do you even know how embarrassed I was?”

“Of course I did. I could literally see the anxiety ooze from you when you were still a first-year student.”

You met your third devil, Choi Chanhee, in the publication. Although he is part of the Photos staff, you had the opportunity to work closely with him during your very first coverage for the university’s paper.

You remember it clear as day—you were tasked to cover the rise of artificial intelligence programs, specifically on the benefits and harm of these in the academe. He accompanied you to your interview with one of the professors since he was tasked to take pictures. However, your recording got corrupted and you were left with minimal notes. That is when you first learned the importance of taking note of everything.

Chanhee has been the nicest one out of the three devils you know. So far, you were always paired with him for all of your coverages. With so much time being spent together, you formally introduced him to your two best friends who seem to bully him in the same way they do with you. It helped that he is in the same batch as Changmin. Now, your friend group has expanded to four.

“I swear, I remember how much I cried to Kevin that day because I felt so bad,” you admit as you shake your head at the memory.

You two continue to walk until you finally arrive at Morning Roasters—the cafe you seem to frequent with Chanhee. He introduced you to this cafe when you had to cram an article on drag queens who studied at your university for June. 

“Why don’t you find a table and I’ll get our drinks?” Chanhee asks as he grabs his wallet. You nod and take a look around the packed cafe. It seemed as if every table was taken. However, when your eyes land on a familiar boy who was focused on his laptop, you could only smile.

“Changmin-ah!” You exclaim as you make your way to him.

When he looks up from his work, he rolls his eyes at the sight of you. “See, I told you I would stay with you.”

You take a seat beside him and lean your head on his shoulder. “Thanks. You know I wouldn’t have gotten any work done if I was left alone.”

He only hums as he continues to type away. “How was the interview? Did it go well?”

“Yeah, the owner is really nice. He gave us a bag of cookies,” you say as you place it on the table.

“Mr. Lim is nice. We should really eat there one day.”

Changmin stops typing and grabs the bag of cookies. As he attempts to open it, you elbow his side which he yelps at. “You’re not even going to ask if you can have some?” You scold him as you lift your head up from his shoulder.

“Can I have?”

You only roll your eyes. “Whatever, go.”

“The only reason he does that is because you react that way,” Chanhee says as he appears in front of you two with a cup of iced matcha for you and peach iced tea for himself.

“That’s true,” Changmin says before he finally grabs himself a cookie. As he takes a bite of it, he lets out a small moan at the taste. “Hey, you need to try this.”

Curious over Changmin’s reaction, you and Chanhee grab yourselves a piece and take a bite. “Oh shit, that’s good,” You say as you take one more bite of the milk cookie.

Chanhee takes a look at the time. “Oh shit, I need to go! I’ll see you in the meeting later!”

Before you and Changmin could say bye, Chanhee was already out of the cafe.

“Well, time to get to work,” Changmin says as you open your laptop.

As you peer over at Changmin’s screen, you notice that his screen was opened to a site you have not seen in a while.

“Oh my god, is that our high school publication?”

Changmin hums and says, “Yeah, I was just looking at some of my old photos. It’s crazy because I look at them and I feel a part of myself cringe. Like, why is it so bad?”

You laugh as you open the document that had your draft. “You would think that being accepted into your high school’s publication meant that you were a good writer or photographer. I feel like I have learned so much more now than I did then.”

The reality is that you only continue to learn—to grow in the work that you do. While growth may never be linear, it is a journey. Although Changmin found himself giving up on photography, you never let yourself give up on writing. But you two understood that he only wanted to invest more time into another hobby turned passion. 

For a moment, it is silent between you two. As you continue to type away, you notice that Changmin is still looking at his old articles. When you take a look at his face, you see that he is deep in thought.

“Hey, what’s up?” You ask which breaks him out of his trance.

“Sorry, I was just… thinking.”

“You want to share?”

For a moment, Changmin does not reply. It is usual for him to not want to share his sentiments. You never held it against him, but there are times when you wished he would feel safer to open up to you. You remember how easy it is for him to hide what he is going through.

“I… I was just thinking about how I managed to balance dance, the publication, and my studies back in high school. Now, I feel like I barely have time to keep up with dance or my work.” You only hum at his words.

“I think I just miss photography but not to the point where I would join the publication again. I don’t have the time anymore, but I do miss it, you know?” Changmin asks to which you nod.

“Yeah. I never realized how much time I had back in high school. Now, I feel like I’m drowning in… everything, really. I can only imagine it seems harder for you because you have the thesis to worry about.”

Changmin groans and says, “Oh god, why did you have to remind me!” He rubs his eyes. “I am literally suffering from this alone! At least I don’t need to deal with crap groupmates.”

You only laugh as you type away. “Well, you could still do some free-lancing while you’re working as a preschool teacher.”

“That is if I graduate on time,” Changmin purses his lips as he finally exits his old articles and looks at his thesis.

You nudge his shoulder. “Hey, I believe you can. And if you can’t, you’ll be fine. It’s normal.”

Changmin takes a good look at you as you continue to add some new information to your draft. “Yeah. Thanks, Y/N.” You only smile at him before you two decide to go back to work.

It is 7:32 PM. You were exhausted from your meeting with the Features staff and some people from the Photos staff (though it was still nice to see Jacob). Kevin spent a lot of the time going through what story pitches could be pursued for the rest of the first semester. Your brain felt exhausted from it all. However, there was something good that came from the meeting.

“Y/N, you will be working with Jacob on the coverage of K-Pop student idols here at our university.” You immediately look up at Kevin whose eyes are still focused on the iPad. “You two will also work on drinking culture amongst students and hustle org work lifestyle. Chanhee will be your assigned Photos staffer, as always.”

Your eyes land on Chanhee who has a small smile as he looks down at his camera. For a moment, you are scared to look at Jacob.

“Me? Really?”

Kevin hums as he finally looks up from his iPad. “Yeah. Since we’re short-staffed, I thought it would be good to just have some more collaboration articles to streamline all the work.”

You take this chance to look over at Jacob who seemed to be looking at you already, that godforsaken smile on his face. Your heart does somersaults at the idea of him looking at you without even noticing.

“Y/N?”

You snap out of your daze and finally give Kevin a nod. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

He smiles at you and says, “Well, that settles it. Jacob and Y/N will work on those three pitches while Seungcheol and Yunjin on the beauty standards and Halloween culture coverages. Lastly, Chaeyeon will work on the polyamory pitch.”

As everyone agrees with the assigned pitches, Chanhee nudges you. “Jacob hasn’t stopped looking at you.” Once he whispers those words, you feel your eyes drift over to Jacob who still had his eyes set on you.

You had no idea how you managed to get through that meeting without freaking out over that new piece of information. It sounded weird when you phrase it that way, but you are no better than a high schooler in love whenever you were thinking about him.

“That meeting felt a little too long,” Chanhee groans as he stretches his back.

You two were seated by the benches near the athletics center, admiring the starry sky. “I know. Kevin is stressed though so I can understand that he really wants to fix everything.”

With your staff smaller than last year, the Features staff could only pursue a few pitches. For Kevin, he cares about the well-being of each member which is why it made sense for him to have a meeting to ensure everyone was alright with their assigned workload.

“At least you’re gonna work with Mr. Bae,” Chanhee teases you which makes you elbow his side.

“Chanhee! Be quiet.”

Chanhee whines. “Oh come on! Don’t you want to talk about it?”

“I do but not here!”

“You’re so boring.” You only glare at him for a moment before you tilt your head back and close your eyes.

For a moment, you wanted to let yourself rest. It is until you feel someone tap your shoulder. “Chanhee, can’t you just–”

“Hi, Y/N.” Your eyes snap open as you see Jacob looking over you.

You quickly sit up straight and say, “Ah, Jacob! It’s so nice to see you.”

“Yeah. Are you waiting for Sunwoo and Changmin?”

Chanhee nods. “Yeah, I think they’re just wrapping up.”

Jacob hums for a moment as he looks at the athletics center that is still lit up. “I’m also waiting for my friend. I don’t know if you guys know him but it’s Juyeon.”

“Of course, we know Juyeon hyung. He’s just as good as Changmin when it comes to dance,” Chanhee answers.

Jacob chuckles and says, “Kevin, Juyeon, some other friends, and I are supposed to be catching dinner. What about you guys?”

“Same here.” You scratch your arm. “But also because I’m going to be dropping them off at their place.”

“Oh, you drive? That’s cool.” You nod as you look down at your lap, shy over Jacob’s words.

Chanhee scoots further away from you. “Jacob hyung, do you want to take a seat?”

“Oh, thank you!” He says as he quickly moves to take a seat beside you. You feel yourself hold your breath over the distance between you two. You hated that you felt this way about this guy. 

“Y/N-ah.” You look up from your lap and look over at the guy beside you. “I don’t think I ever got to tell you this but I’m excited to work with you. I’ve seen your articles from last year and they’re really good.”

You cannot help the smile (or blush) that creeps up on your face. “Please, I am so honored to work with you. I mean, I’ve seen your byline how many times on articles I really loved reading.”

Jacob softly nudges your shoulder. “I’m glad that we’ll have our bylines beside each other.”

As a writer, you felt yourself die inside. You have heard poets speak of love in a way you could never utter. Yet, hearing Jacob say a phrase just as simple as that had you reimagining what love should be.

For a moment, you do not know what to say. Your eyes remain on him as he continues to look at students finally making their way out of the athletics center. You notice Chanhee peering over and mouthing the words “Bitch, say something.”

Before you could say anything, you hear someone call out your name. “Y/N! Chanhee!” You whip your head to see Sunwoo running up to you guys with Changmin following behind.

“You would not–oh? Jacob hyung? It’s so nice to see you,” Sunwoo says as he tongues his cheek.

Changmin’s eyes widened at the sight of you and Jacob seated side-by-side. “Ah, Jacob hyung! Hello again.”

“Hi again. I’m just waiting for Juyeon actually.”

“Oh, he was just with us,” Changmin says as he looks back only to see Juyeon running to you four.

Juyeon pants and says, “Sorry! I just had to handle something real quick.”

Jacob gets off the bench and stands beside him. “First off, this is Juyeon. Juyeon, this is Chanhee and Y/N. They’re both from the school’s newspaper also.”

Juyeon’s eyes go wide. “Oh, you’re Y/N! Jacob hyung has mention–” Jacob quickly elbows him before he could say more to which he yelps. You feel your eyes go wide at the information.

“Ow! Jacob hyung, you didn’t need to hit me,” Juyeon complains as he rubs his side.

“Anyway, it’s nice to see you guys. Y/N, I’ll see you soon,” Jacob gives his signature smile before he walks off with Juyeon.

For a moment, you stay seated on the bench as Changmin, Chanhee, and Sunwoo look at each other.

“Did Juyeon just say… what I think he just said?” Sunwoo finally speaks out.

“Yah!” Chanhee smacks your arm. “Did you hear him?! Jacob has talked about you!”

You cannot help but smile at the events that just played out. “Ah, look at that smile,” Changmin says as he shakes his head.

Sunwoo chuckles as he grabs your arm. “C’mon, let’s talk about what happened over dinner.”

It has been a few days since you first got paired with Jacob. You still cannot believe that the only reason that you finally get to work with him is that Sunwoo somehow spilled your secret to the one person you only hoped would never find out.

“What do you mean you told him?! Are you serious?!” You reacted as you stood up from your seat with your hands planted on the table.

“In my defense, Kevin hyung somehow connected the dots and would not believe me every time I denied it,” Sunwoo says as he raises his hands in defense.

After a long day, your friend group found themselves in Changmin and Chanhee’s place with boxes of Chinese takeout in each person’s hands. While you were talking about the events that transpired during the meeting, you noticed guilt prominent on Sunwoo’s face.

“Sunwoo! I only asked you to invite Kevin and Jacob to Eric’s next party, whenever that may be,” You groan as you find yourself collapsing back into your seat.

You feel someone bring your head to their shoulder as they rub on your arm. “You had one job. How could you have possibly fucked it up?” Chanhee asks as he shakes his head.

“Oh c’mon! I really tried to convince Kevin to bring Jacob to Eric’s Halloween party. I think it’s because he knows I don’t know Jacob at all. And he knows I’m best friends with you! Won’t you cut me some slack?” Sunwoo pouts as he tries to reach out for your hand.

You only scowl at him and cross your arms. “I am never asking you to be a wingman for me. I should’ve just gone to Changmin or Chanhee for this.”

“There’s no way Kevin didn’t connect the dots earlier with how you act around his best friend,” Changmin jokes after he takes a slurp of his black bean noodles.

You frown at him as you raise your head from Chanhee’s shoulder. “Be so for real right now. There’s no way he noticed because it’s not like I interact with him enough for Kevin to even see if I have a crush on him.” You nudge Chanhee which causes him to choke on his noodles. “Back me up here.”

“Are you kidding me?” Chanhee coughs out before he wipes his mouth. “I was literally eating.”

“Just back me up!”

He rolls his eyes. “Sure, I guess.”

Changmin smiles at Chanhee’s words. “See! Clearly, Kevin noticed.”

“Chanhee just said he agrees with me!”

“I really don’t. I just want to eat my noodles,” Chanhee says, which causes you to smack his arm.

You groan and say, “You all suck. Even Eric is nicer to me and we barely interact.”

“Yeah, but you love us.” Changmin winks at you. “You can’t survive without us three.”

You only scowl since he was pointing out the truth.

Now that you know that Kevin is aware of your silly crush on Jacob, you have been on edge. You were afraid that he might have told Jacob since it seemed like something he would want to mention. That is why you were with Changmin as you anxiously waited for the arrival of the one 5th-year student who seemed to make you hyperaware of your own actions.

“I’m so scared.”

“You’ll be fine.”

You groan as you keep staring at the door. Currently, you and Changmin were at the university’s outdoor area with enough picnic tables for a hundred students. Although you two had your laptops out, only one was clearly focused on their work (clearly, it was not you).

“Changmin!” You exclaim as you finally reach out to the guy beside you, gripping his arm. “Do you think Kevin told him?”

Changmin rips his eyes away from his thesis document and gives you a good look. “Yes.” Once you let out a whine, he only laughs as his eyes set back on the unfinished document. “You will be fine! All you need to do is act natural… if you can.” As he mutters those last words, you smack his arm.

“Oh god, what if he just ditches on the meeting?”

“You are seriously overthinking this.”

“I mean, I would ditch a meeting if I found out someone younger had a crazy crush on me.”

Changmin looks at you and gives you a frown. “Are you really that unprofessional? Do you really think Jacob hyung would be that unprofessional?”

“No, but he could still surprise me,” you say as you look at your opened document that showed your possible list of interviewees for the K-Pop idol students coverage.

Changmin scoffs and says, “Yeah, just give him the benefit of the doubt. Also, I could never imagine anyone younger having a crush on you—let alone anyone liking you that way.”

You gasp and shove Changmin to the side. “Ji Changmin! How could you say that!”

“What? It’s true though!” You only frown at his words and look back at your document.

“Yah, leave now. I hate talking to you.”

“I’m just joking!” He hugs you. “Those who don’t think of you as someone crush-worthy are just blind.” You only hum as you continue to type away. “Though, it would still be weird to even imagine it.”

“Yah!” You shove his arms away as he only laughs.

You sigh as you look at him and back to your document. “I can’t believe I have put up with you for 5 years.”

“Yeah, remember when you used to like Sunwoo?” You shove him once more which only has him erupt into giggles.

“What? It’s just funny to think about,” Changmin admits, which makes you roll your eyes.

“You used to like Sunwoo?” Both yours and Changmin’s heads whip up to see a confused Jacob.

Your lips part open. “J-jacob! We didn’t notice you got here.”

Jacob chuckles as he scratches the back of his head. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. It’s just that while walking to you two, I overheard that part of the conversation.” He then takes a seat across from you two.

“Oh.” You scratch your arm. “It’s nothing like that. It was just a small crush then because we grew up together. But when I look back at it, it’s just so silly! Like, me liking Sunwoo? So weird, am I right?” You elbow Changmin which only has him yelp. “Right, Changmin?” As you look at him, you give him a smile that only says “Say something.”

“Y-yeah, it was a weak moment for them. It’s something the group laughs about because they got over it so quickly,” He says as he smiles at the guy older than him.

Jacob laughs as he takes out his laptop and says, “I get it. Sometimes, it gets hard to really tell whether you like a friend because you see them as a potential partner or you like what’s familiar.”

For a moment, you process his words. “Yeah… that’s exactly it.” You nod.

Jacob is right. When it comes to liking a friend, the reason behind it tends to get confusing—the line between a potential partner and just someone familiar tends to get blurred. When you looked back at your strong and short-lived crush on Sunwoo, you realized that you never got a good understanding of whether those feelings were as genuine as you thought they would be.

He hums as he opens his laptop to the document you share with him. “Anyway, it’s nice to see you. Also you, Changmin.”

“Yeah.” Changmin closes his laptop and puts it in his bag. “I’ll head out since I’ve got a meeting to attend to.”

“Oh, I see! It was still nice to see you,” Jacob says with a smile so precious; you wish you could capture it.

Changmin smiles back at him before giving you one final look. “Just call me when you’re done, okay?” You nod at him to which he gives you a squeeze on the shoulder and a wink.

With that, he left your table. You watched him walk away with a little bounce on his feet. As you look back at the person in front of you, you realize that you are now alone with Jacob.

“Are you ready to work?” As soon as you nod, he gives you that all-knowing smile that speaks a thousand comforting words. 

It is 6:38 PM when Sunwoo decides to barge into your room. It has been three days since you had your meeting with Jacob. Other than work, not much happened (though you still keep replaying his smile in your head). You are lying down on your bed with Changmin as you watch Lee Youngji’s No Prepare with Bibi.

“Let’s go to Mingyu’s party!” You and Changmin pay no attention to him as you continue to watch the video.

Sunwoo groans as he flops down on your bed and says, “C’mon! We haven’t partied in ages. Don’t you guys miss it?”

“No,” Changmin scoffs, which makes him smack Changmin’s leg.

“Y/N? Don’t you want to drink?” He looks at you with glassy eyes and a pout. You only flip him off which makes him whine. “Ah, c’mon! Chanhee said he’d go if you two would. Why don’t you guys want to drink?”

You start to groan and pause the video. “Sunwoo, can’t I watch my girlfriend Bibi in peace with Changmin?”

“No.”

“Sunwoo, I would love to but…” You tap your iPad screen to look at the time. “... I have to study for my test tomorrow. I cannot risk getting a hangover.”

“Then just don’t drink a lot!”

“You know that’s impossible,” Changmin mutters, which makes you smack his arm. “I’m just pointing out the obvious!”

You sit up and say, “Yeah, well… ugh, you’re right. I actually can’t go.”

“Oh, come on! What if we watch over you?” Sunwoo attempts to convince you.

You turn your head to look at Changmin who was already staring at you. “What do you think?”

“Why do you only ask Changmin?”

“Because I know I can’t trust you to watch over me.” You look back once more at Changmin who was deep in thought.

“Fine.” Changmin sighs as he sits up. “I’ll take care of Y/N.”

“Ah, thank you, Changmin!” Sunwoo exclaims as he hugs him.

“Yah, get your hands off me!”

The four of you arrived at Mingyu’s friend group’s shared house at 8:34 PM. The place was filled with students of different years; some you recognized while others were a mystery.

Since the three boys always hung out at your place, they already had some pieces of clothing stored in the corner of your room. All four of you were dressed up in casual clothing adorned with different accessories.

“Okay, we all have to agree that we're leaving together. That means no one is left behind nor does anyone just decide to leave early without our knowledge,” Chanhee says as he points at you and Sunwoo.

You sigh and nod. “We leave at 12:30 AM. And no Sunwoo, we aren’t leaving later than that.” Sunwoo only pouts. “I actually have a class to attend that I cannot cut.”

“Yeah, yeah. C’mon, let’s go!” He exclaims as he drags Chanhee into the house.

You frown as the two disappear from your sight. Changmin links arms with you which makes you look at him. “You’ll take care of me, right?” He only smiles and drags you into the house.

As the two of you were walking, he would greet people he would recognize. It was only when you finally reached the kitchen area that you were pushed to sit down on one of the stools. You watch his back as he mixes up a drink for you.

“Y/N, I’m going to limit you to drinking like… three drinks maybe,” Changmin says as he finally turns to look at you with two red cups in his hands.

As he hands you his mixed concoction, you sniff it. “What is this?”

“Something fruity… like you.” You only roll your eyes as you finally take a sip.

The tanginess of orange and the sweetness of strawberries filled your mouth. “Woah, it tastes like fruit punch. When did you learn to make this one?”

“I’ve made this for you before.” Changmin takes a sip from his cup. “I think you were just too drunk to remember it.”

You frown at him as you take another sip. “I have no idea why I’m here. Man, I should be studying for my test.”

“To be fair, you made me study with you before we started watching Youngji’s video.” Changmin looks through the snack table and grabs some chips for him to munch on. “And you seem to know your shit pretty well. You’ll be fine.”

“That’s true,” You say as you down your drink.

“You finished your drink already?!”

You give a guilty smile as you hand your cup to Changmin. “It was good.”

“Y/N, you’re supposed to drink slowly! You’ll get drunk if you drink way too fast.”

“No way, that shit tastes like juice.”

Changmin groans and says, “Y/N, that has like how many different alcoholic drinks in that cup. There’s like tequila, vodka, and other shit.”

You gasp as he finds something to put in your cup. “Jesus, Changmin! I thought you were going to take care of me.”

“Yeah, but I thought I could trust you enough to at least handle it yourself also. God, drink some water.” Changmin hands you a cup now full of water.

Once you down the cup, you throw the cup away.

“Yo, Changmin!” You hear someone call out your best friend’s name. Changmin sighs as he looks at you.

“You can go to that, I’ll be fine here,” You say with a smile.

“Remember, only three drinks, okay?” Once you nod, Changmin pats your head and makes his way out of the kitchen.

You sat alone as you looked over the snacks in front of you. You were not the type of person to mope around, and you did not want to force your friends to keep you company. With people coming in and out of the kitchen, you decide to grab your phone and look through Twitter to pass the time.

That is until you hear someone call out your name. “Y/N!” When you look up, you are surprised to see Kevin making his way toward you. It is only when he gets closer that you notice the cute 5th-year student trailing behind him.

“Oh! Kevin… and Jacob? It’s so nice to see you here,” you say as you quickly put your phone away. It is not that you did not expect to see Kevin and Jacob—scratch that, it is exactly that. You were not expecting to see your editor and your crush at a party where you were left to your own devices.

“Hey! Why is my favorite writer all alone?” Kevin asks with a pout.

Jacob makes his way to the stool beside you and takes a seat. “Hi,” he says with that familiar smile that still gives you butterflies.

“Ah, I came here with Chanhee, Changmin, and Sunwoo. They just have other friends they’re talking to so it’s fine,” you say as you scratch your arm.

Kevin grabs some fries and pops them into his mouth. “Damn, well don’t you worry. Both Jacob and I are here to keep our favorite 2nd-year some company.”

The best thing about Jacob and Kevin is that they never once made you feel excluded. In the work you do and all social gatherings that the members of the publication are invited to, they always seem to look out for you. Although you may not know the people they were planning to meet at this party, they still chose to stay with you.

“But first, let’s take some shots!” Kevin exclaims which only has Jacob groan.

“Kevin, the last time you did shots you were blackout drunk. Do you not have class tomorrow?”

“I actually do not! My professor decided to cancel class so I am free to drink!” Kevin smiles as he looks through the selection of liquors. “Will you drink with me, Y/N? Since Jacob is the designated driver.”

For a moment, you look back and forth between Jacob and Kevin. You knew that you would be in big trouble if you drank too much. That is why Changmin could not get mad at you if you drank in moderation.

“Yeah, fuck it. I’m not a lightweight.”

What turned into one shot turned into four shots and two cups (you think) of Jacob’s specialty cocktails. If you were not feeling the buzz then, you were definitely feeling it now. It helped that the alcohol was giving you enough confidence to talk to Jacob freely.

“Damn Y/N, you really know how to handle your liquor,” Kevin points out as he takes a sip from his drink prepared by Jacob.

“Jacob, you know how to prepare drinks for someone who does not usually attend parties,” you say with a small giggle following.

He smiles as he takes a sip from his cup of apple juice and says, “I think I could look into bartending if my degree in Korean Language and Literature fails to get me a job.”

“Hey! I still think you could look into singing,” Kevin says as he nudges Jacob.

You feel your eyes widen at the new piece of information. “You sing?” As you start to notice Jacob’s cheeks get tinted pink, you cannot help but hear your heartbeat in your ears.

“Yeah.” Jacob scratches the back of his head. “I’ve been doing it since high school.”

“You write and sing? Jesus, you got everything,” you say as you eat some chips.

“And he’s pretty good at basketball.” You gasp at this newfound information. “That’s what I’m saying!”

Jacob rolls his eyes as he playfully shoves Kevin. “I don’t have everything. I barely know how to dance.”

“Okay, but you could learn!” Kevin bounces his shoulders up and down. “I believe you could be an idol if you wanted.”

“You could have been a perfect interviewee for the K-Pop idol students coverage we’re doing.”

Jacob laughs at what you say and shakes his head. “Yeah, but I like what I do now.”

Kevin sighs as he wraps his arm around Jacob’s shoulder. “You are too humble for this world. You’re like an angel—not everyone will be blessed to have witnessed you.”

“That’s actually… so true. Wait, you kind of cooked with that,” you say which only has Kevin laugh.

“Right? God, I am such a writer.”

Before you could say anymore, you feel someone grab onto your shoulder. When you look behind you, you see Changmin with a disappointed look. “How much did you have?”

You take a moment to process his words which only makes him grab onto your face. “Y/N.” He scolds as he feels how hot your cheeks are from the alcohol.

“I swear, I’m okay,” You say as you clutch his hands that rested on your cheeks.

“How much did you drink?”

“C’mon, Changmin. I swear–”

“How much?”

You sigh as you move your hands back down to your lap. “Like… 2 more drinks.”

“In the time I was gone?!”

“Hey, Y/N said they were fine, right?” Kevin attempts to step in.

You nod which makes Changmin finally let go of your face. “Yeah, I’m okay. I swear.”

He only sighs as he sets his hands on his hips. “You sure?” Once you nod, he finally lets it go.

“Sorry, it’s just that I was in charge of taking care of Y/N but Juyeon and some other people from the dance team called for me. Hi again, Kevin and Jacob hyung.” He smiles at the two.

Jacob smiles and says, “It’s fine, you’re only looking out for them.”

Before more could be said, you hear someone call out your names. “Y/N-ah! Changmin-ah! Come here!”

As you look to where the sound came from, you can see a tipsy Sunwoo waving his arms at you from the living room. “Bring Jacob hyung and Kevin hyung too.”

“Is… he okay?” Jacob asks as he stands up straight.

You get off your stool and say, “I don’t know.”

Before you decide to leave the kitchen, you reach out for Changmin’s hand and drag him out. The four of you make your way past the busy crowd until you finally see Sunwoo, Chanhee, Juyeon, and some other people you did not recognize. At the coffee table, you see different cups and bottles. Yet, there is one particular cup that catches your eye—one filled with whatever you can imagine.

“We’re testing each other’s loyalty.” As soon as Chanhee says that, Changmin groans.

“Are you serious?”

Sunwoo smiles as he wraps his arm around Changmin’s shoulders. “It’ll be fun! Kevin, Jacob, Juyeon, and Hyunjae are in one team while we are in the other!”

“Wait, but I can’t drink. I’m driving,” Jacob says, which only has Kevin laughing.

“Don’t worry, you’ll just be the last.”

In the loyalty game, you are split into two teams. If your team loses playing rock, paper, or scissors, you all have to drink one shared cup of whatever alcohol concoction the other team made. The real test of loyalty lies in how much your team is willing to drink before forcing the last person in line to drink the rest.

Whenever you four played this game, there was always a shithead (usually Sunwoo) who would drink as little as possible so that the remaining members would drink more. You could not get mad at Sunwoo for usually doing such; it sounds like something you would do too. However, with you having a test tomorrow, you really did not want to risk anything.

“Are we really doing this?” You ask as Sunwoo pushes you and Changmin to his side.

Sunwoo only nods as both he and Chanhee have their hands out. “C’mon, we need to decide the order.”

While the other team was busy deciding their order, you four were playing amongst themselves. Despite what you wanted, the universe had its own plans—the order was Chanhee, Sunwoo, Changmin, and lastly, you.

“Oh, c’mon! Sunwoo, your ass better drink,” you exclaim as you groan.

“Has your order been decided?” Hyunjae, someone you only met right before the game, asks which has you four falling in line.

The other team was ordered by Kevin, Juyeon, Hyunjae, and Jacob. As everyone let out their hums of approval, the game began. You were not paying attention to how the game was playing out as you were up in your thoughts. It is only until you come face-to-face with Jacob’s angelic face (though you do not miss that he had his hand out).

“W-what? You guys lost?!” You exclaimed as you looked at the three devils you always seem to be teamed with.

Sunwoo scratches the back of his head and says, “I believe in you?”

“Your tone makes it sound like you don’t!”

“If it helps, you have a good chance of beating me. I usually suck at these,” Jacob says with a smile.

Somehow, you allow yourself to be fooled by that smile. You block out every sound as you continue to be entranced by his features. That is why when you play the game, you do not realize that you played paper while he played scissors.

Jacob’s team cheered as they grabbed onto him. As the opposing team cheered, your team was left disappointed. You all looked back and forth between each other and the singular cup that rested on the table.

“Bottoms up!” Kevin exclaims which has Chanhee pick up the cup.

He gives you three a good look before he takes a big gulp of the drink. With only ¼ of the drink left, he hands it to Sunwoo who only has a sly smirk on his face.

“Sunwoo, don’t you dare.”

Somehow, the universe made sure to give you one shithead that you would have to endure for the rest of your life. It had to be a shithead that you could never imagine life without. Why did that shithead have to be Sunwoo?

Sunwoo only took a small sip from the cup and handed it to Changmin, earning laughs from the opposing team. Although you could hear Chanhee scolding him, it clearly did not matter to him. You and Changmin give a good look at each other.

“Hey, I can handle it,” You say as you try to tug on his arm.

You do not know how many drinks Changmin already had, but you knew that your friend could not handle his alcohol as much as you could. Still, he chose to ignore your protests as he looked back at everyone.

He tipped the cup back and downed more than he could clearly handle. “Wow, Changmin-ah!” The others cheered. You were only left with barely a dribble of alcohol as he finally handed you the cup. Although everyone was happy with how much he drank, you were worried.

“Changmin, you are so strong,” Kevin says as he pats his shoulders.

You notice the way Changmin wobbles in place. “Ah, come on,” you say as you force him and yourself to take a seat on the couch.

“You didn’t have to drink that much,” you scolded him as you signal Chanhee to get some water for the both of you while the others seemed off in their own worlds.

“It’s fine. I didn’t want you to drink too much because you have a test tomorrow,” he says as he leans his head on your shoulder.

Changmin would always spend his time looking out for you even if you did not ask. It has always been like that since you first became friends with him. Somehow, you were always under the care of your best friend. 

You sigh as you rub your hand on his shoulder. “Yeah, but you could have left a little for me. I know you are worse with alcohol than I am.”

Chanhee arrives with two cups of water. “C’mon, drink up.”

You grab your cup and quickly drink it up before setting it down on the table. You grab Changmin’s cup from Chanhee and try to nudge the boy beside you.

“Hey, you need to drink some water,” you say, which makes Changmin finally grab the cup and finish as much as he can.

You nudged him once more to finish the whole cup of water to which he listened. “Good. You need to drink water after how much you’ve drank.”

Chanhee sighs at the sight of his two friends who were sprawled on the couch and said, “Sunwoo, I think it’s time we go.”

“W-what? Why?” Sunwoo whines as he takes a seat beside his drunk friends.

“I’m tipsy and your friend here is fucking drunk,” you say as you point to Changmin whose head was on your shoulder and eyes were getting droopy.

Sunwoo frowns for a moment. “Fine, let’s go.” He attempts to stand up with the help of Chanhee.

“Hey.” You nudge as you whisper to Changmin. “Let’s go home, okay?”

He looks up and stares into your eyes for a moment. And suddenly he erupts into giggles.

“Y/N-ah, your face is so funny.”

You roll your eyes at what he says and nudge him off your shoulder. As he whines, you help him off the couch. His arm wraps around your shoulder as he slouches beside you.

“Hey, let me help,” Jacob says as he helps hold up Changmin.

“Ah, thank you.”

The three of you slowly make your way out of the house and see Sunwoo and Chanhee standing by the sidewalk. You only notice that Kevin followed as soon as he spoke. “Hey, do you and your friends need a ride back to your place?”

“Oh, you don’t have to! We were just going to get an Uber,” you attempt to reassure them.

Jacob shakes his head and says, “No, it’s fine! I think it would be safer for you also.”

You bite your lip as you look at Chanhee. All he does is give you a shrug as he continues to nurse Sunwoo. As soon as you sigh, you decide to give in to your editor’s offer.

“Thank you, Kevin and Jacob. I’m sorry about this. Please let Chanhee and I pay you back for this.”

“It’s fine! It’s nice to see you and your friends,” Jacob says with a smile.

As your group makes its way to Jacob’s car, you notice that his car is big enough to carry at most eight people. Sunwoo and Chahee got in the third row of the car, you and Changmin got in the second row, and Kevin sat in the shotgun. Once Jacob turned on the ignition, you told him the address of Changmin and Chanhee’s place.

The ride was mostly quiet with the occasional grunts from Sunwoo. Changmin was fast asleep on your shoulder as you stared out the window.

Usually, the roles would have been reserved—Changmin would spend most of his time taking care of your drunk ass. Yet, to see him go to such lengths to make sure you do not miss your test warms your heart.

It is 11:35 AM. You were on your way back to Changmin and Chanhee’s place to check up on the three boys. Thankfully, your test was not too hard. You knew that if you studied a little harder, you could have aced it.

As soon as you arrived at their place, you knocked on the door only to be greeted by Chanhee who was pretty alive. “Hey, how are they?” You ask as you step in and remove your shoes to put aside.

“Sunwoo is fine. Changmin, however, is dying. I think he’s just been in bed,” he says as he closes the door behind you.

You quickly make your way to Changmin’s room and open the door to only see him still in bed with squinted eyes. As you pout at the sight, you quietly make your way to the bed and sit down beside him. Due to the sudden action, his eyes snap open which has you show him a guilty smile.

“Hey, Changmin-ah.” You set your hand on his leg and lightly rub it up and down. “Are you okay?”

It takes a moment for him to process your words. As soon as he lets out a groan, you only chuckle.

“I got you something.” You look through your bag and pull out a bottle of hangover cure before dropping it to the floor. “I know you usually drink this before drinking, but I think it would still help you now.”

Changmin only hums one more as his eyes start to get droopy. 

“C’mon, drink this before you go back to sleep,” You say as you scoot closer to him.

You helped him sit up straight and opened the bottle for him. Although Changmin grabbed it, you helped make sure he would finish it before placing it on the bedside table. He started to lie back down on the bed, dragging you along.

“Hey.” You try to move only for him to wrap his arms around you and nuzzle his face into your neck. “Changmin, I–”

Changmin only shushes you. For a moment, you two remain like that. He always seems to cling to you whenever he can. In your time knowing him, you have always noticed that he likes physical touch more than your other two friends. It never bothered you. If anything, it felt nice to know that there would always be someone who would want to cling to you—if he needed to do so, you always found yourself allowing it.

“Changmin-ah, we have practice,” Sunwoo says as he enters the room to see you two cozied up.

As he takes in the sight, he only frowns. “Is he still dead?”

You frown back and whisper, “You guys have dance practice? We should have never gone out drinking, the fuck.”

“To be fair, I was not expecting him to drink that much.” Despite Sunwoo’s attempts to defend himself, you only flip him off.

You look at the guy sleeping next to you, feeling his breath against the side of your neck. The thing with Changmin is that he hates missing practice. There have been instances where he would get a fever and be extremely guilty for missing it.

As you sigh, you look back at Sunwoo who only had a guilty smile plastered on his face. “Let him sleep in. He’s not in the state to practice right now.”

“Y/N, you know he’s going to be mad if he misses out on practice.”

“Well, let him be mad.” You frown. “He can be mad at me for all I care. Let him rest, I already feel bad that he’s like this because of us.” With that, Sunwoo nods and leaves the room.

It is 7:43 PM. You and Jacob finished interviewing Song Yuqi, a member of (G)I-DLE‎. Your next and last interview for your assigned coverage would be four days from now with Choi Yeonjun of TXT. 

“Ah, what a day!” You exclaim as you made your way out of the classroom you were interviewing Yuqi in. Jacob and Chanhee trailed behind you with slouched shoulders.

Chanhee only sighs as he looks through the photos he took. “Tell me about it.”

“Nice work, you two. I can’t believe it’s this late already.” Jacob takes a look at the time. “What do you guys have planned now?”

“I’m actually going to hang out with Hyunjae hyung.”

You gasp at Chanhee’s words and smack his arm. “How come I didn’t know about this?!”

“To be fair, not much has happened. We just exchanged numbers at the party,” he mumbles the last sentence. “Which is why I need to go. I’ll see you guys for Yeonjun’s interview!”

With that, you were left alone with Jacob.

“Care to walk with me?” You give him a smile and nod. As the two of you walked, a comfortable silence came. Throughout your time working with Jacob, you felt happy to be with him whether you two were talking about nothing or everything.

“So, how are you? How’s Changmin and Sunwoo?” You laugh at Jacob’s question.

It has been a week since you went to Mingyu’s party—a week since Changmin took care of you. Throughout the week, you have not been able to spend time with him and Sunwoo due to the press cycle work. Chanhee could easily see them since he lives with Changmin.

At first, you were fine with it since it meant you were spending more time with Jacob (with Chanhee joining every once in a while). You got to learn more about him outside of the image you created in your head.

He has always loved to sing and play basketball since he was young. However, it was only in high school that he obtained this newfound love for Korean literature. The more he ventured into the topic, the more he felt happy with pursuing it as his course.

What surprised you is that he never planned to write for the university’s newspaper. Despite being one of the best writers you know in the publication (not an overstatement), he only applied because Kevin dragged him to do so. You never knew that their friendship went way back since high school.

As the days went by, you started to miss your other best friends. You texted them occasionally in the group chat but not much was said other than reasons why you could not meet up with them. Your time with Jacob sadly could not make up for the fact that you missed hanging out with your best friends.

“They’re okay. I haven’t been hanging out with them that much since the party because of the work we do,” you admit.

Jacob pouts and says, “I can only imagine since they do have practice also. That’s why I find it hard to hang out with Juyeon as well.”

You only sigh as you two make your way out of the building. “Yeah, I just miss seeing them. I know they have been stressed about the upcoming competition also so it doesn’t help that we’re just busy.”

“Yeah, it’s funny how even if we're all in the same university, it’s still hard to find time to hang out.”

Jacob is right. With your friend group coming from different courses, years, and extracurricular activities, it does get hard to find time to meet. Despite fixing your schedules to make sure that you all would have lunch together, some obligations seem to get in the way.

Yet, you four always made it work. No matter how different your schedules may be or how different your priorities are, your friend group always found its way back to each other.

Before you could say more, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Once you take it out, you notice a message from Changmin.

qramzi 🐿️: are you free rn? qramzi 🐿️: if you are, come to the dance studio

“You should go to him.” You look up only to see Jacob smiling at you.

You pout and ask, “How did you know it was from one of them?”

“Just a feeling.” He hums as he looks at the athletics center from afar. “Also, you kind of have this certain smile every time you talk to your friends—it’s nice to see.”

You cannot hide the blush that starts to creep onto your face. It never dawned on you that Jacob has observed you enough to notice such a small detail. As soon as his smile got bigger, you were certain that he noticed how flustered you were.

“I’ll see you a few days from now. Thanks, Jacob.” And with that, you were off to the athletics center.

The moment you got into the center, you could hear the faint sounds of “No Diggity” by Blackstreet from afar. You walked to the source until you arrived in front of the door leading to the main dance studio. As soon as you swung it open, you could see your best friend in the middle of a dance routine.

Changmin was dressed up in jogging pants and a white shirt that was starting to cling onto his torso. You could notice the light shine on his skin, glistening from sweat. Only time could tell how long he has been practicing. 

The moment he spots you through the mirror, he quickly halts his movements and runs toward you. “Y/N-ah!” He barely gives you time to enter the studio and wraps his arms around you.

“Changmin! You’re sweaty!” You complain as he continues to hold onto you. As you closed the doors behind you, he finally let go of you with a big smile on his face. “You get so happy to see me. Maybe I should just avoid seeing you,” you joke only for him to roll his eyes.

“Don’t even try. You know damn well you can’t survive without seeing me too.”

You only smile as you follow him back to the spot where he was practicing. He reached out for his phone to pause the music while you sat on the ground to lean your back against the mirror.

“So, is there any reason you called me here?”

Changmin shrugs as he wipes the sweat off his forehead. “Just missed you, that’s all.”

“Be for real right now.”

“Fine. I need a ride back home.” You roll your eyes as Changmin starts to beg you.

“C’mon! You know how hard it is to find a ride back at this time, especially at our university.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Just buy me dinner at least.”

Changmin frowns and asks, “You haven’t eaten?” Once you nod, he shakes his head and grabs his phone before taking a seat beside you. “You really need to eat.” He passes you his phone. “How do you even survive your meetings with an empty stomach?”

“To be fair, I had a late lunch.”

“And what exactly did you eat for your late lunch?”

“Well…” You give a sheepish smile. “Some yogurt.”

“Exactly what I thought. Whatever, just order something for the both of us.”

“That was good,” you say as you rest your hand on your belly.

Changmin is seated across from you with a frown on his face. “Really? I wasn’t able to tell since you practically devoured my food.”

“Hey! You were the one who offered your food to me!”

Changmin laughs and ruffles your hair. “I’m just kidding.” You frown and attempt to fix the mess he created.

“You have a competition, right? At the end of the semester?”

“Yeah.” Changmin sighs as he looks down at his phone. “It’s happening around late November so that it doesn’t coincide with finals season.”

You decide to ask him the golden question. “How is it so far?”

For a moment, Changmin does not respond. He lets his head loll backward and stares up at the ceiling. Before you could say anything more, he started to speak.

“It’s a lot, really. I think it’s sinking in that this will probably be the last competition I participate in since I’m planning to choreograph one of the performances for the year-end concert.” He looks back at you. “I just… want it to be perfect, you know?”

You have always known Changmin to be a perfectionist. Since your time working with him in the publication, he has always been particular about the work he puts out. Sunwoo has also shared his experience with the perfectionist when it came to dancing (and it was not a pleasant experience). Though, you understood where he came from.

“I want my last performance to be something I am proud of…” He takes a deep breath. “Because I know I won’t have another opportunity to dance again.”

As he says those words, you reach out to his hand that rests on his lap and hold onto it. He looks down at your intertwined fingers and shows a small smile at the sight. 

“I understand where this is coming from. I don’t even think it has fully sunk in that you’re graduating already,” you admit as you bite the inside of your cheek.

Changmin chuckles and jokes, “Don’t think you’ll survive without me?”

“Yeah,” you answer without letting a beat pass.

It is true. No matter how independent you made yourself out to be, you knew how much you relied on your friends—most especially Changmin. You have gone so long in your life with your best friends at your side that you never let yourself imagine a life without them.

“It’s almost like when you first graduated high school; I remember I couldn’t stop crying after you graduated.” Changmin laughs at the memory you mention. “You remember that, right?”

“Of course I do. I remember I was comforting you and Sunwoo on the day I was finally free from high school.”

You smile as you look back down at your hand that held him. “It’s just silly to recall. I mean, it already seemed like Sunwoo was set on going to the same university as you—just not me.”

“But you’re here now.”

And you nod as you look back at his eyes. “Yeah, I am.”

Changmin moves to take a seat beside you. With his hand still latched onto yours, he draws circles on the back of your hand.

“I’m glad to be here, you know?” You lean your head on his shoulder. “I like to know that as we grow in the things we like to do, we’ll always be there to witness each other reach heights we used to dream of.”

It is silent for a moment. All you could hear was Changmin’s breathing in sync with yours. You let your eyes close for a minute, happy enough to just be in that moment with your pillar of strength—your very own reason to keep going.

“I’m glad you’re here, too.”

“Ah, thank you so much again for having this interview with us!” You bow with Jacob and Chanhee to express your gratitude to Yeonjun. The four of you have officially wrapped the last interview for the coverage of K-Pop student idols. With Yuqi’s and Yeonjun’s experiences, the three of you got to learn the joys and struggles that come with such a life.

“No, thank you! It was nice to talk about my experience,” he says with a smile. “I’ll be heading out. It’s nice to see you again, Chanhee hyung.” Chanhee gives him a wave before he bids farewell and leaves the room. You sigh happily as you look down at the notes you took.

“Chanhee, you know him?” Jacob asks to which he nods.

“Yeah, I’ve had some classes with him. Not much interaction but he’s alright.”

You nod as you flip through your notes. “He’s cute.”

“Yah!” Chanhee smacks your arm only to make you laugh. “You know how risky it is to pursue an idol?!”

“I’m just saying! Jeez, I’m not going to marry him or anything. I’ll just check the group out,” you whisper those last words which causes him to shake his head.

“Whatever, I can’t stop your ass,” he admits defeat as he stands up from his seat and slings his messenger bag on his shoulder. “Y/N, I’ll catch you later at our place, right?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Thanks, again! I’ll see you two for the next coverage.” With that, Chanhee was off.

Once again, you were left alone with Jacob.

“Hey, Y/N?” Your eyes shoot up to Jacob who was already off his chair. “Do you… want to grab lunch with me?”

“I’m sorry?” You could not believe the words that left his mouth.

“I mean, if you’re busy it’s fine!” Jacob scratches the back of his head. “It’s just that it’s about to be lunchtime.”

You cannot help but smile. Never would you have ever expected to have lunch with your crush—let alone be asked by him too. If there was a way to talk to your younger self, you would talk about this moment.

“Y-yeah! I’m free.” You close your notepad and shove it in your bag. “We definitely can.”

Jacob smiles as soon as you get off your seat. “Great! Do you like pho?”

Once you nod, his smile gets bigger. You do not think you will ever get over that smile.

It is 8:23 PM. You and Changmin were seated on his bed as you stared at the homework on your laptop for your Biology class due tomorrow. Although you were a HUMSS student, you had to take general subjects as it was required in the curriculum.

Despite having the choice to pick amongst the different natural science courses offered, you had the unfortunate fate of being left with Human Biology (you did not even know they offered it to non-STEM students) as the only option. You were usually decent with basic science, but you could not understand anything complex. That is why you were glad to have a friend who was well-versed in it.

“Jesus, which professor did you end up with?” Changmin asks as he skims through the worksheet full of questions you barely understood.

“Mr. Hwang.”

“You got him?!” He exclaims with his eyebrows shooting up. “Even I managed to avoid him because of all the reviews he got.”

You roll your eyes and let yourself plop back on his bed. “I know, and I hate him. It just sucks because his schedule fits my timetable perfectly so I thought it would be fine.”

Changmin clicks his tongue against his teeth and says, “Well, your problem now.”

“I know!” You sit back up and frown at your friend who was reading through your homework. “It was impossible to be transferred to another class because the other classes were clashing with my major classes.”

He nudges your shoulder and says, “At least you have me to help you out.”

Somehow, it took only two hours for you two (mostly Changmin) to accomplish your homework. During that time, it was mostly productive with you getting side-tracked by your phone. It helped that he took his time explaining each question rather than leaving you in the dark.

“You know, you’re a very good teacher,” you point out as you finally submit your work through the online portal.

“What do you expect? I mean, I’m hoping to be a preschool teacher,” Changmin says as he stretches his back.

“I don’t know.” You finally open up another document that had your draft for your first coverage with Jacob. “It’s just nice to experience it first-hand.”

Changmin takes a peek at your screen and pouts at the sight. “More work?” You only hum as you go through Kevin’s comments, approving most edits.

“You’re still working with Jacob, right?” As soon as a smile starts to creep in, he gasps. “How is it?”

“It’s fun!” You shrug as you type on your keyboard to answer some comments your editor has and attempt to reflect it on your second draft. “He’s really reliable, so I’m happy that I’m working with him.”

He smirks. “And?”

“Well…” You bit on the inside of your cheek in an attempt to stop the smile from getting any bigger. “He asked me out to lunch.”

As soon as you reveal that piece of information, he smiles. “That’s great.”

“Yeah, it’s not much.”  You shrug. “I mean, it seemed convenient to just eat together then.”

“Hey, it’s still something,” he says, which makes you feel at ease.

Your best friend is well aware of your very barren love life. If anything, you two were in the same boat. Although you always find yourself jumping from one crush to another, he has never found himself entertaining anyone who was interested.

It is funny—you two are opposites that stick together. While you ramble about all your short-lived crushes, he always listened as if it were the morning radio. However, your crushes never progressed past the infatuation stage. That is why when you share with him your adventures with Jacob, it felt like this was turning out differently from other puppy loves.

You sigh and decide to abandon your work. “He’s a very sweet guy.”

“I’m glad he is. You only deserve sweet ones,” Changmin says, which makes you pout.

“And thank you for always reminding me that.”

It is true—he has always made sure to remind you that you only deserve happiness. No matter how many one-sided crushes, terrible professors, or mental hurdles you faced, he liked to remind you that there is something at the end worth fighting for.

“What about you? Do you have anyone you like or just find interesting?” You decide to finally ask your best friend.

He shakes his head and says, “Nope. I’m so busy with dance and thesis.”

You could only laugh in disbelief. “I’m not asking if you’re planning to date anyone! You really don’t find anyone cute?”

“Ask me again after the competition.” He shrugs before letting himself lie down on his bed. “Right now, there’s no one.”

With your work now abandoned, you let yourself lie down beside him. The two of you stared up at the ceiling as you let silence come between you. You could only hear Changmin’s breathing. Once you rolled onto your side, you let your eyes fall on your best friend.

In that period, you let yourself really take in his appearance; his eyebags have gotten heavier; his shoulders seemed tense; his eyes were on the border of closing. You always knew that your best friend has been tired from his academics and dance, but now was the only time you started to see how it was affecting him physically.

“Hey,” you speak up which has him turning his head to face you. Before you could say anything more, your hand reaches out for his. “I’ll always be here for you. You know that, right?”

He gives you a soft smile and intertwines his fingers with yours. Instead of saying anything, he rolls on his side. And with his eyes closed, he brings your linked hands close to where his heart is.

It has been weeks since you and Jacob wrapped up your first coverage together. Surprisingly, you two had minimal edits—almost like a clean close. Kevin seemed happy with the work you two delivered.

“Excellent read! I can’t believe you managed to interview Yeonjun and Yuqi for this,” your editor says as he scans through the article once more. “Plus, Chanhee’s photos and videos are good. Nice call, by the way. I think the videos will help in garnering more attention.”

Kevin quickly switches windows and plays a video of Yeonjun’s interview. “Who did you get from the video editing team to work on this?”

“I worked on it mostly, but Heejin helped in some segments I didn’t know how to execute,” Chanhee answers as he proudly watches his work on Kevin’s screen.

Jacob watches the video in awe and says, “Woah, this is nice. Did you know about this, Y/N?”

“Yup!” You nod as you smile at the three. “Chanhee was showing it to me throughout his editing process. It’s cool to see it come to life.”

You have always known your best friend to be well-versed in photography and video editing. When he initially pitched the idea to you, you wondered why he wanted to do it himself when you had a small staff capable of handling it. However, the process to ring them in would only take too long. Chanhee’s persistence is both a present and a threat—he always found himself pushing limits which could ultimately lead him to his downfall or success.

“God,” Kevin says with a happy sigh. “You three are almost like the perfect team! I’m looking forward to the other coverages. Once the two coverages are done, I will for sure treat you three to some food.” The three of you could only smile at his praise and promise.

Now, it is 9:34 PM. The most anticipated party of the year has finally come—Sohn Eric’s Halloween Extravaganza. Despite him being the same year as you and Sunwoo, everyone agreed that he knew how to party. Last year, you two along with Changmin got hammered while Chanhee was left to take care of you three.

At that same party, you made friends with other members of the publication who were not part of the Features staff while Sunwoo was busy making out with someone from the volleyball team. While Changmin was busy hanging out with people from his dance team and playing drinking games, Chanhee was out talking to someone from the soccer team. It seemed that everyone was happy with what they gained from the party.

Now, you and Sunwoo are seated on the couch at Changmin and Chanhee’s place all dressed up in costume. While you chose to go as Howl Jenkins Pendragon from Howl’s Moving Castle, Sunwoo opted to go as a soccer player.

“Your costume is so generic,” you point out as you look at him from head to toe.

Sunwoo frowns. “I’m sorry that I chose to not weeb out like you.”

As he plays with the soccer ball in his hand, you decide to ask him a question. “Where did you even find the jersey?”

All he does is point to the back of his shirt which has the last name “Lee” and the number ten. “I asked Dokyeom hyung and he had an old jersey that I could borrow.”

You furrow your eyebrows, confused to hear that name leave his mouth. “Since when were you and Dokyeom friends?”

“Since that one party where we played the loyalty game,” he says with a smirk. “C’mon Y/N, didn’t you say I was Mr. Popular?”

You could only roll your eyes at the way he flatters himself. “God, you are so annoying. And also so boring. I can’t believe you chose to dress up as your old sport just because you want to make out with someone.”

Your best friend shrugs with a smirk still resting on his lips. “Or go up to the fourth base with someone.” As soon as he says those words, you scrunch your face up in disgust.

“Changmin! Chanhee! Please save me from this fucktard!” Sunwoo shoves your arm which only makes you laugh. You spot Chanhee finally leaving his room all dressed up in a blue jumpsuit and goggles sitting on the top of his head.

“Ah, you did end up going with Pororo!” You exclaim with a smile on your face.

Chanhee spins around in place to show you two his whole fit. “Does it look nice?” He asks with a shy smile on his face.

“Yeah! It suits you,” Sunwoo says, which allows Chanhee to feel relieved.

“Where’s Changmin? It’s almost 10 PM!” You say as you stand up from the couch. Chanhee only shrugs as he takes a seat beside Sunwoo. “I don’t know what’s taking him this long.” You sigh and walk towards the door of Changmin’s room.

“Changmin!” You knock on his door. “We’re waiting for you.”

No response. With a frown on your face, you swing the door open. As you step into the room, you notice that everything has been tidied up in his room, no sign of him getting ready. You tilt your head at the sight, clearly confused.

“What the fuck? Chanhee, he’s not even here!” Before you could do any more, you felt someone grab onto your shoulder with a menacing whisper following right after. 

“Peekaboo.”

As soon as you hear those words, you screech. “What the fuck!” You spin around only to reveal that the sinister voice belonged to Changmin whose smile was bigger than ever. As you take in his costume of blue overalls, red wig, and a lazy attempt at stitches on his face, you notice a creepy doll tucked in his arm.

“Yah, Ji Changmin!” You whine as you let yourself take a seat on his bed with your hand clutching your chest.

He only laughs as he parades his doll around. “You’re still such a scaredy cat.”

You frown and say, “You’re so mean! You know how much I hate stuff like this!”

Both Chanhee and Sunwoo quickly enter the room to see the mess Changmin has created. “Yah, you know Y/N hates this more than me and Sunwoo,” Chanhee says as he shakes his head.

“When did you even get that doll?”

“First off, his name is Chucky. And I got him a few days ago! I’m so glad he arrived on time,” Changmin answers Sunwoo’s question and plays with his doll once more.

Chanhee sighs and grabs your hand to pull you off the bed. “C’mon, it’s almost 10 PM. We should head to Eric’s place already.”

The perpetrator quickly links his free arm with yours and pouts. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I was expecting to scare Sunwoo but you came in!”

“What do you mean you were trying to scare me?!”

Changmin scowls at Sunwoo and says, “This isn’t about you.”

You roll your eyes. “It’s fine. I guess you wanted to have your fun before you have to take care of our asses.” Once you see the confusion on Changmin’s face, you cannot help but smile.

“What do you mean I have to take care of you guys?”

Chanhee giggles and says, “That’s what we agreed on last time, remember? You take care of us while Sunwoo, Y/N, and I drink our hearts out.”

It takes Changmin a moment to recall the said conversation which happened a month ago. As soon as the memory hits him, he groans. “Really?”

You shrug, clearly happy with how the events are playing out. “Think of it as your way of saying sorry to me.” He only sighs, knowing he could not argue.

The four of you finally arrived at Eric’s place which was bustling with more people than expected. You could only guess that word about last year’s party got around. From what you could see, some people came in different costumes. In a sea of generic costumes such as nurses and firefighters, you were happy to spot cool costumes like Sanrio or video game characters.

“Well, I’m headed off to find Eric,” Sunwoo says.

“I’ll join you.” Chanhee says before he takes a look at you and Changmin. “Don’t forget, we leave at the latest 1 AM. Don’t separate, okay?”

As soon as you two nod, Sunwoo and Chanhee make a beeline toward wherever Eric may be. You cling to Changmin’s arm as he leads you two to the kitchen. What you do not expect to see is your editor and crush there.

Kevin was dressed up in a black and white leopard print and makeup which you could only guess as Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmatians. However, nothing could have prepared you for Jacob’s outfit. He wore a volleyball uniform and an orange wig with a volleyball by his hip. You have always been a big fan of Haikyuu, so to see Jacob dressed up as one of your favorite characters made your heart flutter.

“Oh, Kevin and Jacob hyung!” Changmin exclaims, which grabs their attention.

“Y/N and Changmin! It’s so nice to see you,” Kevin says with a smile on his face.

“Ah, Cruella de Vil and Hinata?”

“Yeah! Not a lot of people could figure out who I dressed up as. Everyone loves Jacob’s costume though,” he answers your best friend.

“You’re Howl, right? And Changmin is Chucky because of the doll.” Jacob asks which finally has you snap out of your trance.

Changmin smiles as he tries to show off his doll and answers, “Yeah! Do you like him?”

“He’s… something!” Kevin says which only makes you laugh.

“If it helps, I hate that doll.” In an attempt to agree with your editor, you earn a nudge from Changmin.

“Hey! He’s our kid,” he complains with a pout on his lips. You only ignore his comment and drag him to take a seat with you on the stools.

Since Jacob and Kevin were wrapped up in their conversation, you took this as an opportunity to quietly ask Changmin something. “You don’t want to hang out with your friends from the dance team?”

He shakes his head and says, “I’m fine here with you.” You let yourself smile at him before he could find a way for you two to squeeze into Jacob and Kevin’s conversation.

While the four of you talked over some drinks specially made by Jacob, you were pleasantly surprised to see Eric come in a baseball uniform. “Hey, guys!”

“Eric! It’s nice to see you,” You greet the party host.

“Why are you guys just here?” Eric quickly grabs a bottle of beer. “You don’t want to dance or play some party games?”

“We’ll probably join the crowd in a little bit,” Kevin says as he wraps his arm around Eric’s shoulder. “Also, coming in your baseball uniform? You’re so generic.”

“Hey! It was the only thing I had since I was busy organizing this party,” Eric attempts to defend himself.

Jacob chuckles and says, “Well, it’s a nice party.”

“Thank you!”

“Have you seen Sunwoo and Chanhee?” Changmin decides to ask the host.

“Oh, yeah! I saw them just a few minutes ago.” Eric chuckles. “Sunwoo’s busy trying to rizz up someone from the swimming team.”

Your face scrunches up in disgust as you lean your head on Changmin’s shoulder. “What about Chanhee?”

“I think he’s just with Hyunjae hyung.”

“Ah, I see,” you say with a smirk as your best friend and Kevin giggle.

It takes a few seconds before the dots connect in Jacob’s head. “Is something going on between Chanhee and Hyunjae?” He asks with a gasp. 

“Yeah! Haven’t you noticed that Hyunjae hyung is always with him?”

Jacob ponders over his best friend’s question for a moment. “Huh, that makes sense.”

“They’re actually so cute, but I actually don’t think anything is going to happen,” Eric says after he takes a sip of his beer.

Changmin hums and agrees, “Based on what I talked about with Chanhee, it looks like they’re just friends.”

“You don’t think it’ll turn into something more?” Kevin asks with a pout on his lips.

“It would get messy, don’t you think? Since your friend groups are slowly getting close.”

You sigh and answer Eric’s question with, “Honestly, whatever makes the two happy. I think they’ll manage to figure it out.”

“Feelings are weird.” Once Changmin says those words, you could only hum in agreement. You felt like you did not know enough to comment on whatever Chanhee and Hyunjae have going on. All that mattered to you is that your friends were happy and safe at all times.

“Hey, Changmin hyung!” Someone you could only recognize to be Lee Chan, Changmin’s teammate in the dance team, enters the kitchen with a cup in his hands. “Oh, hi Eric! Well, I just wanted to call my lovely friend to play some beer pong with us. You guys are free to join us!”

“Oh, I’ll join!” Eric quickly says before he makes his way out of the kitchen.

As you lift your head from Changmin’s shoulder, your best friend frowns at Chan. “Wait, I can’t drink that much. I’m taking care of Y/N and like… the others.”

You shake your head and nudge him. “It’s fine,” you reassure him.

He shakes his head firmly and says, “We have a buddy system, remember? Plus, I don’t want to ditch you.” 

“Then they can join us!” Chan attempts to convince him further. “If it helps, we’re playing with people outside of the dance team.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll probably just hang with those from the publication.” You smile at Chan and take a look at Changmin. “What if I just meet you two hours from now? We can meet here.” Changmin bites the inside of his cheek as he contemplates.

“Uhm, we’ll also stay with Y/N,” Jacob chimes in. As your head whips in his direction, you could see his signature smile. You would think that working with him for a few weeks would give you time to get used to his smile. And yet, you still found yourself melting at the view.

“Yeah!” You look back at your best friend. “I promise that I won’t drink too much without you.” It takes a moment before Changmin decides to give in to Chan’s request. Before he could stand up from his seat, you reach out for his doll. “Let me take care of our child.”

He cannot help but smile before he hands his Chucky doll to you. “I won’t forget you calling him that.” With that, he followed Chan out of the kitchen.

You sigh and hold the Chucky doll close to you, combing through its hair. “Do you know where News and Social Media are staying? Maybe we can stay with Seungkwan and Yeji?”

“I spotted them by the pool area. It’s actually in the same area Changmin is playing beer pong,” Kevin says, which has you standing up from your seat.

“Why don’t you guys go ahead? I’ll just meet you there,” you say as your eyes looked through the drinks.

And there comes Jacob with his sweet smile. “I’ll wait for you. Kevin, we can just meet you there.”

For a moment, you could notice Kevin snickering but he quickly covers it up by saying, “Sure.” As soon as he makes his way out of the kitchen, you give your crush a shy smile.

“Do you mind mixing me another drink?”

Jacob chuckles as he grabs the cup from you. “It’s fine, I don’t mind if it’s you.”

You do not know what to make of his comment, slightly blushing as he creates another great concoction. You decided to stand beside him and lean against the counter so that you could get a good look at whatever he was making you. In the cup, he poured two different liquors and cranberry juice.

“Can I… ask something?” He decides to ask you as he hands you back your cup.

You raise your eyebrows before you take a sip of the drink. “Oh, it’s good!” He smiles at your comment. “Yeah, of course! Ask whatever.”

Jacob takes a moment to think over his words. “I don’t really know how to ask it.”

You laugh and say, “Jacob, aren’t you a writer?”

“Yeah! But sometimes, words are weird.”

“Just say it to me straight. I think it would make it easier for us both,” you reassure him before you drink.

“Are you and Changmin dating?” As soon as those words leave his mouth, you choke on your drink.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” He quickly grabs some tissue and wipes your chin as you cough.

As you grab the tissue from his hand, you set down your cup on the counter. “S-sorry! I didn’t expect that.”

“That’s why I said I didn’t know how to phrase it right.” He pouts as you wave your hand at him to signal that it was alright.

“No, your question is fine!” You cough out before taking a deep breath. “Why would you think that?”

Jacob scratches the back of his neck and says, “I just thought so based on tonight’s event. I suspected something was going on between you two that one night I gave you guys a ride home. I was just thinking that tonight might have confirmed my suspicion.” You tilt your head over his words.

All throughout your friendship with Changmin, no one has ever thought of you two in a relationship. In every interaction and time spent with him, you have always thought it was normal. Sure, you do acknowledge that you spend more time with him than you do with Sunwoo and Chanhee, but it never meant that you two were together.

“We aren’t,” you start off with a smile. “We’re just very close, that’s all. I am very much single.”

Jacob nods with a relieved smile on his face. “Alright, that’s good to know.”

Before you could process his words, he spoke. “C’mon, let’s meet with the others.”

Over the hours, you have been half-focused on the conversation going on between your friends from the publication. Your mind was still trying to wrap around the fact that Jacob would think that way—you cannot even believe he seemed relieved to hear you are single.

While most of your group sat in a circle on foldable chairs, some had to stay standing up. Despite being deep in thought, you were somewhat hyperaware every time Jacob was looking at you from where he stood. Never did you ever expect the 5th-year student to show some interest towards you. 

That is why you never noticed someone grab your shoulder. You jump in your seat and take a look behind you to see Changmin with a concerned look on his face. “Hey, are you okay?” He whispers only for you to hear.

You nod and quickly get off your seat. “Hi, I’ll come back.” As soon as you bid farewell to the group, you grab Changmin’s arm and make your way to somewhere far from Jacob.

Once you two arrive at a relatively quiet corner of the backyard, you take a seat down by the porch. With a worried expression on his face, he takes a seat beside you and grabs the doll from you. 

“What’s up?”

You place your hands on the bottom half of your face and take a deep breath. “You would not believe what Jacob said to me.”

“You’re scaring me,” he says, which only makes you laugh as you shake your head.

“No, it’s just funny! But also, so many thoughts are being thunk right now.”

“Okay, what?” He asks with furrowed eyebrows. Clearly, the suspense was starting to kill him.

You bite the inside of your cheek. “He just asked if I was single!” The way Changmin’s eyebrows shoot up is a sight you could only laugh at.

“Are you serious?” He asks, shocked by your news.

“I know!” You squeal as you smack his arm. “Well, he did ask if you and I were dating–”

“He asked WHAT?!” Your best friend shouts which attracts some looks.

You smack his arm and give an apologetic smile to those who looked over at you two. Once you look back at him, you could see the expression on his face—something you could describe as shock and disgust mixed together. With the way his eyebrows are furrowed as he moves slightly away, you could tell he was taken aback by what you revealed.

“Oh, yeah! It was so weird.” You shake your head before you take a peek at where your friends were (thankfully, Jacob was preoccupied with whatever conversation was going on). You look back at Changmin and say, “I remember even choking on my drink just because he asked. But anyway, that’s beside the point–”

“Why would he think that?”

You roll your eyes as your best friend continues to cut you off. “Honestly, I don’t really know. I mean, he explained but it didn’t make sense.” He looks you up and down with a frown on his face.

“Hey! It can’t be that bad to date me!” You exclaim as you smack his arm once more.

“I’m just thinking that it would be weird for us to date!”

You roll your eyes and say, “Obviously. It’s even weirder to think I had a crush on Sunwoo then.” Before Changmin could say more, you say, “Jacob just thought so with how close we are, but I made it perfectly clear that I am single. And here’s the kicker.”

Your best friend only signals you to continue with what you are saying. “He said he was glad to know that,” you finally say as you smack his arm, earning a groan from him.

“Can you stop smacking me?”

You ignore his request as you remember the events. “I’ve never had a crush actually show some type of interest towards me. It’s so surreal.” You let yourself lean back on your hands so that you could look up at the sky.

With your eyes looking up to the starry night, you smile as you let out a happy sigh. Despite being in your second year of college, you never really had that much experience with romance aside from occasional one-sided crushes (whether with you as the apple of someone’s eye or the idea of someone plaguing your mind). That is why when Jacob shares such words, you cannot help but feel so much warmth spread throughout your body.

“I’m glad, though.” You look at your best friend who has a small smile on his face. “I’m glad that what you have is going somewhere,” he says which only makes you grin.

It is during these moments that you remember how long you and Changmin have been friends. From achievements to heartbreaks, you both have been there for each other to witness it all. In the greatest and lowest moments, the two of you always found solace in each other.

Changmin looked at himself in the mirror—all dressed up in black (from blazer to trousers) with a pair of sunglasses and chains to accessorize his whole look. He took a deep breath as he spun around.

The day of the competition has finally come. The team spent many weeks practicing the same routine in hopes to secure that trophy. After all the late nights and injuries he had to endure, he could not believe that he was to participate in his final competition.

Since he figured out to walk all on his own, dance came to him naturally like breathing comes instinctively for all. His love for dance has only grown with him throughout the years. For Changmin, there was never a possible reality where he does not fall in love with dance. Yet, with graduation dawning, it seemed like he would have to entertain that idea whether he liked it or not.

With him being deep in thought, he does not hear you enter the room. “Woah!” He snaps out of his trance once you whistle while taking in his appearance. “You look good!”

He cannot hold his smile. “Thanks. I realized this is your first time seeing me in my outfit.” He makes his way back to his bed and takes a seat.

“Yeah! You never sent me the pictures,” you say with a pout. “But I’m kind of glad. I was shocked to see how nice you looked.”

“Are you saying I don’t look good all the time?”

You frown at your best friend. “Of course, you don’t, weirdo.” Changmin could only roll his eyes while you set your small sling bag beside him.

“Thank you for offering to do my makeup,” he says as you start to take out your small cosmetics bag full of essentials for his look.

“Don’t even worry about it. I mean, I have always wanted to do your makeup before.” You adjust the position of his floor lamp to make sure it was facing him. “Sunwoo cannot stay still when I put makeup on him.”

Changmin chuckles as he looks at you retrieve different tubes. “Thankfully, I have some extra concealer that should suit your skin tone,” you mutter as you squeeze out some product onto the back of your hand.

“Anyway, how are you?” You rest your right knee on the bed as your fingers start to do the work. “Are you still nervous?”

He hums for a moment. “I am, but I’m trying to focus on just leaving the competition on a good note.”

You nod as you cover up any dark spots and circles. “That’s good. How’s your thesis going so far?” As soon as you ask that, he groans.

“Don’t even remind me.”

You cannot help but giggle as you blend out the product. “Isn’t your thesis adviser Ms. Lee? I heard she’s good.” You look through your bag and reach out for your eyeshadow palette full of neutral colors and its proper brush.

“She’s great, really. It’s just that I may have underestimated the difficulty of my chosen topic.” He sighs as he watches you open up the palette. “I hope she knocked some sense into me.”

“Or, she just had faith in you,” you point out as you pick up some light brown eyeshadow with your brush. “You’re very smart, you know? I’m pretty sure she just wants you to get some recognition for your thesis.”

He only huffs as you carefully color his eyelids. Once you were done, you set the tools aside and grabbed an eyelash curler for him to use. As you hand the contraption to him, he frowns.

“Do you really trust me with that?”

“Yeah because I don’t know how to use it.”

“I think you’d be more scared if I was the one doing it on you,” you try to reason only for him to hand it back to you.

“Just do it.”

You groan and place the curler right on his eyelashes. “Don’t move, okay? I’m scared to rip your eyelashes out.”

“W-wait!” Changmin pushes your hand away with a frown on his face. “You can’t just say that. Now, I’m scared!”

You sigh as you rest your free hand on your hip and say, “Well, what do you want? I’m letting you do it.” He sighs for a moment before signaling you to continue. “Exactly.” You proceed with what you need to do.

“And… there!” You smile as you set the contraption aside. “That wasn’t too bad. Now, I need to do your mascara.”

You open the tube and take out the wand. “I need to sit down for this, okay?” As soon as you ask, he nods.

“Yeah, that’s no prob–wait!” He cuts himself off as you suddenly lift your other leg to rest on the bed as well.

Now, your knees were practically caging Changmin. As he takes a look down, he could see your legs pressing on the outer side of his thighs. For a moment, he cannot breathe.

This felt different. In this position, he felt his mind buzzing. Sure, he has always found himself linking arms with you or even snuggling up your side. But to see you straddling him only had him at your mercy. 

Once you took a seat on his lap, he could feel himself getting dizzy. To feel your heat on his lap made him feel like he was back in high school—he could hear his heartbeat ring in his ears. There was barely any distance between you two as your face slowly got closer to his. Changmin could only hope you do not notice how red his ears are.

“Hey,” you whisper as you look into his eyes, taking a small peek down at his lips for a brief second. “Just relax, I don’t want to poke your eyes in the process.” He could feel your breath cast over his lips as you set your free hand on his shoulder.

First coat. His eyes were focused on your lips.

Second coat. You lick your lips as you focus on trying to not ruin your work.

Third coat. Changmin tries to swallow his anxiety down

Fourth coat. You let your eyes trail back down to his lips.

Fifth coat. He finds himself moving his face closer to yours, his eyes flickering down to your lips.

And something possesses him—his hands find themselves on your hips to hold you steady in place. Your breath hitches at the action, and you finally notice how close his face is to yours.

“Changmin,” you whisper his name so sweet. For him, it felt like he has never heard you say his name so gently.

“Say no and I won’t,” he finds himself saying as he lets himself finally look up into your eyes.

And before he could get a reply, he found his eyes opening to the white ceiling. Covered in sweat, he feels himself breathe heavily at his dream. There was no other way to say this—he was utterly fucked.

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