#like no one saying “yes im sad but it coheres” or anything so like

[roughentumble]

(ofmd spoilers picked up thru osmosis from the dash) you know i gotta say, killing izzy was probably the wrong choice for the funny pirate show, considering i follow an izzy stan, an izzy anti, and people just here for funny gay pirates generally, and i've yet to see a happy response to the reveal

[elliespeach]

i'll be home soon | ellie williams angst

an. this is very short, around 800 words, and very angsty. this is a remake of one of my older fics from 2016 because i can't bring myself to write anything else i am at a road block im sorry if this is not that great but i wanted to give yall something!

warnings: ellie death, blood and gore, all around sad vibes

ellie rolled over, heaving the dead clicker off of her body. she groaned as she did, the pain in her stomach overcoming her and she looked down to examine it. any bite mark she could survive, but she wasn’t immune from being ripped apart. her stomach was badly wounded, the clicker had taken a chunk out of her abdomen leaving it jagged and gushing blood. ellie tried using her hands to cover her injury but it kept bleeding profusely and she cursed herself for letting this happen. 

she knew she didn’t have a lot of time, that she would bleed out before anyone could come and rescue her. she had patrolled alone today, the section she was assigned to was an easy one but the clicker jumped her and her efforts to save herself only prolonged her inevitable fate. her backpack only a few feet away began to utter muffled words, but she could recognize your voice anywhere. 

dragging herself to the backpack she shuffled through it for the radio and was able to make out the last few of your words. “...ellie can you check in?” your voice so clear through the radio almost made all the pain go away. ellie’s world stopped and for a moment she forgot her predicament, the only thing in the world that truly comforted her was you. 

ellie breathed your name into it with a weak smile on her face, she rolled onto her back, the radio gripped in her hand. “i’m fine, don’t worry about me.” she spoke, using every ounce of energy to sound coherent but in reality her world was shifting and her vision was going fuzzy. 

“are you almost done? we have a date tonight you know and it’s getting late,” you joked into the radio from jackson. you weren’t on patrol today, taking the day off to do some chores around the house you and ellie shared. you liked it this way, although you wished ellie wouldn’t go out so often. 

“y-yes baby, i know about our date,” ellie contemplated her words, holding in her bloody coughs to keep you from worrying. ellie didn’t want the last time you spoke to be frantic, she knew no matter how fast anyone got here, she was a goner. “i’m – i’m gonna be home real soon, okay?” 

“are you okay? you sound weir–”

“do you remember our first date?” ellie laughed into the radio, her stomach was on fire but she concentrated hard on the memory. “we snuck into the abandoned building in town–” 

“and we made a fort,” you recalled, smiling at the small radio in your hands. oblivious to your girlfriend’s distraction tactic. “what did you call it again?” 

“castle fort,” ellie chuckled at the name and you did too, making her smile. “we should go back there someday.” 

“yeah, we should.” you leaned back in your chair, your eyes wandering to the clock in front of you. “when did you say you’ll be back, i miss youuu.” 

“i'll be home soon, baby i promise. i’ll make it to our date, don't you worry,” she paused, the gaping hole in her stomach begging to be treated. she bit down on her lip to keep from groaning in pain. “can you wear that pretty dress i like? the floral one?” 

“ellie, were just watching a movie.” you rebutted, twirling a pen around your fingers. “speaking of, maria spoiled it for me so don’t get attached to the blonde kid.” 

“i told you maria s-spoils everything, and i know, but you look so beautiful in it,” ellie begged, “please? for me?” 

you sighed into the radio and ellie imagined you smiling at the compliment as you always did. “if it makes you happy, sure babe. i’ll wear it but we need to actually watch the movie.” 

“you got it, pretty girl.” ellie’s pain reduced to a numbed stinging and her mind was beginning to feel foggy. she felt tired, so tired and she fought to keep her eyes open as they began to well up at the idea of never seeing you again. 

“go finish what you gotta do, i’ll talk to you when you get back.” your voice sounded so angelic over the static in the radio and ellie had to use all her strength to respond. 

“okay, i love you. i love you so much,” she breathed out,still holding back her tears, the pain was almost gone now and her vision was going black. 

“i love you,” your words rang in ellie’s ears as the radio fell from her hands and landed in the blood that had pooled around her. her mind was repeating the phrase as her eyes closed, feeling the tiredness melt away until she felt nothing anymore. her last thought was of you, all smiley and bubbly wearing that dress she loved so much. 

[socialc1imb]

for your forgetten four au, when vio was killed how did they first react? did they suspect murder and try to find a culprit or were they too in shock to be thinking about that? was he still conscious when they got to him and was able to say anything before he died or was he already gone by then? has anyone gone into his room since? will there ever be a chance for him to become himself again?! aghh!!! so many questions!! i still want to know exactly what happened that night!!! who killed him and why!!!!! im obsessed!!! (also wouldnt it be crazy if blue was able to teach redead vio sign language like who knows it might work? maybe?!! or he might be too far gone to really create coherent messages... thats so sad!!! he must be so lonely not being able to talk to them even if his brain doesnt fully work anymore :(!!!

sorry if im being overwhelming!!! im just super invested in this & excited to see more!!!

oh boy, this is going to be a long post, I think! ;3 (no worries, lol, I love the questions!) Also, I'm not going to answer every single one because I wanna cover them in comic form later on, so keep an eye out!

The fact that Vio screamed when he died gave away the fact that someone had done this to him. They probably suspected murder as soon as the realization of what just happened set in, and after doing a little more investigating (seeing the shattered mirror, the glass being used as the weapon etc etc a lot of boring crime scene things), they were able to confirm that he was killed.

Since he was killed, they've been in his room only a handful of times, but since his funeral it's been left mostly untouched. They went in to clean up the glass and make it presentable, but everything else is practically the exact same as Vio left it.

There's nothing saying that Vio will be able to be brought back, but there's also nothing saying he can't. They hold out hope, whatever little of it they have left. They'll try as hard as they can to see if it's even possible.

Vio... is hard to explain. Because, yes, it's him, that's the real Vio who has returned, but he seems to be more of an echo of the real person, doing things here and there reminiscent of when he was alive. It's not that he can't communicate, it's almost as if he just... doesn't need to communicate in the same way as the others. He tends to observe and follow rather than give input. Basically, whether or not Vio is really Vio is up to your interpretation. Maybe it really is him, but maybe he's only a shell of what he once was. It depends on how you read the story.

[indigayghost]

Ok im not even try to make this coherent I'm not on the state of mind to write beautiful things but i do need to talk about this because I feel like my body is exploding

Just..... Just..........everythinf that happened........

We've been with these vampires for five years, we know who they are, we know what they love, we've seen them in their lowest and in their highest

The talk when they're in the cages, yes they were trying to appease the Guide but they weren't lying in the slightest

Yeah they are beings full of love and yet they make themselves look tough and uncaring and this season reaaaaally talked about it

We see the vampires caring for each other more than ever this season, we see them fighting for each other, saving each other, giving up their life for each other

We see Laszlo giving everything he has trying to fix Guillermo, we see him failing and failing again and ultimately giving up but "I'm not giving up on you"

We see Nadja fighting blood and nail to save Guillermo! He's theirs! Nobody can take him away!

We see them helping Guillermo out, we see them teaching him how to be a vampire

And when the baron wants to kill him, we see them begging please let him go

We see Nandor saying I know you better than anyone and we brush it off and then

And then we see that he is right. He knows Guillermo better than anyone. He's been knowing him since the beginning. Guillermo is a kind soul. He's a warrior. He would kill and die for me, but he won't kill for himself.

We see Guillermo struggling with this for quite some time. I mean, I'm in the killer Guillermo gang, but textually every single time he killed he did it for someone else.

He loves so so much and he would do anything for the people he loves, but he won't take someone's life for his on benefit, that's to much for him.

And Nandor knew that. Nandor knows him. Nandor said it to him two seasons ago and we thought well he was talking about himself and he is! But he's talking about Guillermo too.

Because Guillermo is too kind, he was always too kind, and vampirism is a curse

We see Guillermo saying I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to hurt you and we see Nandor hurting

We see him talking to Patton Oswald and he says

Killing a friend would be the worst thing in the world and he means it

And he doesn't kill Guillermo, and he would never kill him

We see the vampires one by one visiting Guillermo, the same vampires who said well if one of us die we just paint them off of our lives

We see Laszlo legitimately sad, he feels so bad, he feels guilty, he feels like he didn't do enough and auuuuurgh that's so abrrrrrrrbrrbebbrbrbrb and he says I know you since you were a little familiar

And the thing the thing is

Nandor and Laszlo are being two sides of this thing

In one side we have Laszlo who completely loves to be a vampire. He was turned by the woman he loves, he didn't lose anything, eternal life is a joy for him, he was alone before, and now he isn't

And then we have Nandor, who lost everything. And sometimes is easy to forget and say Nandor is just a big dumb boy, but he is so so old and he is so so wise. Eternal life took everything from Nandor, he lost his family, his people, he lost his language, and for almost a millenia he wandered alone and we see this, we see this desperately lonely vampire try again and again to get someone, anyone, to be with him forever and we thought ough he's so dumb that person is right there!

But then! He isn't! Because he knows Guillermo better than anyone and he knows Guillermo will be unhappy and he knows he can't persue Guillermo because he loves guillermo and Guillermo loves him and Guillermo will do everything for the people he loves so maybe maybe if he asks Guillermo will turn into a vampire and he will be eternally unhappy and that's something Nandor won't be able to do because he cares too much about Guillermo, because he knows Guillermo better than anyone, and he will prefer to be alone forever than to hurt Guillermo like that

And he makes all those things, he prepared a whole cerimony for Guillermo, he did all of this knowing knowing that if he shut his mouth he could keep Guillermo forever, some time Guillermo would get used to it, but he can't see him unhappy, so he prepares everything knowing Guillermo would chose to be human and knowing he was signing up for loneliness and he does it anyway because he loves guillermo and he would do anything for Guillermo the same way Guillermo does for him and he is so kind the whole time, there is a understanding in Nandor's eyes there that we never saw, there's such a sad sad feeling of mourn there because he is killing what he ever wanted but he's doing it for Guillermo

And yeah there was a little bit of his jealous speaking there when he jumped for the stake to kill Derek, but there's also a really sweet gesture. Killing Derek will make Guillermo happy and even so Guillermo can't do it, because it was his choice, it was his fault, and he can't hurt Derek, and Nandor steps in and say I'll break the most sacred vampire rule for you, for your happiness, even if it means losing mine

And then laszlo helping Guillermo afterwards? I'm so so ready to see them next season

Also Nadja saying if I knew you wouldn't kill Guillermo I would've told you to do it already and get over it is such the statement! This is what they do! They care deeply about each other but they pretend they don't!

Anyway, I loved the finale, I think there's some really deep themes we can play with in fics. I understand how some may feel quite unhappy with it and honestly yeah I'm a bit too, I love to see unhinged Guillermo and I really wanted to see him accepting his fate as a munderer but well, I guess we can't really have everything

I'm really curious of how they'll handle this the next season, maybe we'll see Guillermo doing other things, searching for a new dream or whatever. Bwcause now he will really need to accept the real reason why he stayed with the vampires, he can't run away from it, we can't run away from it and the showrunners can't really run away from it too, this is a question I think will be the grand arc of the next season and well, until there we have plenty of time for thousands of angsty fanfics

[j2zara]

YAAAAAAY EHEH I GET TO SEND YOU A BUNCH OF ASKS 💖💖💖💖💖(<- these ones are just me being excited)

💖📥👀📊🍰🌝💻🧠

HIIIII SORRY THIS TOOK ALL DAY im so exhausted which is why i feel like my answers are not the best but here u go

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

Argh…. Ngl i sent this one to more than one person in the circle of perverts bc I want to force ppl to say nice things abt themselves and now i gotta do the same thing. I feel like my answer before this year would’ve been my dialogue!!!!!!! Like. I do think i’m good at that. It’s hard to even say that because I feel like when I do enjoy a good quip and i feel like whenever i reread my original stuff im like “oh. I’m so marvel brained”. I don’t think dialogue is my strength in cloneverse tho.  At least. I don’t think it stands out. But otherwise that’s what i would land on.

Maybe it’s bc i’ve been in a very sorry for myself slump lately bc my current wip is giving me such a struggle but i don’t even know. Before now and my latest wip driving me crazy I would’ve said. Maybe coherence or theming? Like i don’t even know if thats a thing i CAN say like is it possible to be good at themes? Sorry im being so hard on myself rn I think if i were to look at my writing i would say i think it’s halfway decent but i don’t know the answer to the question…

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

Oh this is an interesting one. For such a long time the answer would’ve been my old Talentswap fic for DR, tbh it always was like. Surprising and honestly kinda nice to get like a random comment of someone being like ‘hey i just discovered this! Sad its not updating but i really enjoyed it!” something like that. And I think b/c it was multichap it was very interesting and different when ppl were reading Almost for sure.

My secret weird answer is IYWD. Like. I’m at peace with the fact that its practically dead and nobody is gonna find it again i guess but a small part of me still considers it my favorite thing i’ve done in a long time so nobody does comment anymore but. That would be the thing i secretly kinda want. I’ll take literally anything tho obviously i love anybody that ever comments on anything.

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

I have a Love is Blind au for a fandom I’m not gonna mention. Idk i might’ve mentioned it somewhere but eh. Its like ten chapters but only the first 5-ish are done i’m kinda 

And i’ve talked abt this this isn’t really a. Like. Oh I’m hiding this forever thing but. I have a DR Togakure hookup fic that’s written like. To take place during a naegiri wedding like in the post first game canon. And it is one of my favorite things i’ve ever written even tho it is smut, ngl my friends have been trying to convince me to post it and i might but im genuinely terrified nobody is gonna read it and im gonna be. Sad about it

📊 Current number of WIPs

Lol um… lj3porter fic. I’m two sentences into twelfth night coded j2 wooing Jace for Porter fic. Unfinished creeper Jace + j2porter fic…  a Jace topping Zara zarajaceporter fic. A fic that is in the IYWD verse that’s like a prequel that’s normal SB related. And if we could old fandoms I have semi abandoned talent swap (the ch 3.3 doc is like 10k lmao). Love is blind au.

If we’re counting original projects. My fantasy pseudo taming retelling. Horror comedy / locked room mystery called Date / Die. I have a. Sports romance (don’t look at me). And my weird lofty rom com thing that is this decade spanning story and used to be abt a “platonic” romance but idk I was like. They’re best friends they’re the most important ppl in the world to each other and they like having sex does that make this a normal romance. Maybe. Maybe not.

So ten. Yikes.

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

This is such a weird pull b/c i haven’t read it in years but Wing Man is a Bokuaka fic thats one of my fav of all time that makes me so happy idk its so like. Sweet and tbh i feel bad i never commented on it i really should bc they deserve to know i still think about it. but i just don’t reread fic all that often even my favs.

Actually that’s a lie i just remembered! I’ll cite something recent and i’m a little shy to cite something from the circle of perverts but also this is completely sincere i know i jokingly call @innskeep bambi’s LJ3 fic the perfect piece of fiction all the time but i do reread it… I just like them. I think it’s really cute and i like my little guys…  I love getting J3’s pov so much like i genuinely think its so comforting and special…

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

I won’t lie I have a total DurDawn soft spot so like. I do think it wouldn’t fun to write something small for them. Also fucking hilarious as zukkacore that I’ve never written zukka and like. In my heart I would like too but they’re almost too precious for that? It’s hard to explain. Actually another answer might be for Mailee I actually think Mailee is soooooo underrated as a ship bc they have so much potential to be good for each other that wasn’t able to foster under azula’s thumb so I like that slightly toxic edge 

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

I do a little bit of research but honestly not at much as i should. Last super deep dive i did was on the different filipino mythologies and history throughout the different regions bc ithink that subject is so interesting. but that has nothing to do with the sb circle that was for my own stuff. Lately I had to look up a little bit of elvish for something sb related lol. im such a fake fan of LOTR i love it but i’ve never actually read the books

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

A few! I’ve talked abt Jace hireling au I think that would be fun. And I joke abt Clone gamechanger au all the time and I SAID I wanted to try and make it work so like. Maybe. I’d love to try clone gamechanger au i think its funny and cute and i wanna do something indulgent.I feel like i’m forgetting something. Jess has real estate in j2porter vegas roleplay so i kinda wanna try maybe doing J2porter 50s housewife roleplay as a sort of sequel? I still like the idea of doing a You’ve Got Mail Shop Around the Corning fic. And. I feel so so so so indulgent wanting to write LJ3 stuff but like i just like them. I don’t know what i would wann write for them but i just like them

[ijwrff]

Hi, i was wondering if i could request a Natemare x reader with the prompts:

Angst:

8

19

20

Fluff:

6

7

10

11

18

19

21

22

24

I understand if its too much or something but i was thinking, Mare gets into a bad place mentally or something happens to the reader (or both?) and starts questioning if the reader (femme pronouns please) actually loves him but she shows that she does and they fall back together after some mutual pining? (Im a sucker for mutual pining and just falling so completely in love with someone) ty ty ^-^

Also protective and cuddly Mare has my WHOLE entire heart, hes so PRECIOUS

Ty ty ^-^

~ ^-^ anon

So there were a lot of prompts here XD I couldn't figure out how to get Mare to say them ALL so some of them, you say to him. Prompts are also super out of order, to form a more coherent story. I have also bolded all the quotes so you know when and where those prompts are :3

Thank you so much for requesting, I'm sorry it took so long to get around to >.> But I hope it was worth the wait!

Tw; angst and some swearing but it all turns into fluff

For some reason…Mare was acting differently. You’d been together for months, and were friends for even longer before that. You couldn’t explain it, but he seemed…empty. He smiled, yes. But it never reached his eyes. When you would go in for a hug, he’d stop you. He wouldn’t even kiss you! That was the biggest key in that something was horribly wrong. 

He was who knows where, and you were sitting at home trying to think of what to do. It had been a couple days since you saw him, and not so much as a text. You’d been hiding away in your home, wondering if you did something wrong. You wanted to help him if he was struggling, but you couldn’t if he didn’t tell you why he’s been so distraught. 

Deciding to send a text, you made up your mind and took a few minutes to figure out what you wanted to say. ‘Hey Mare…you know you can tell me anything right? Are you okay? It’s been days…I’m worried about you.” It was simple, but maybe he was just stressed? You hoped he’d be alright, but if anything you wanted to be there for him. 

Throughout the day, you sent him a couple more texts. All met with silence. Something was definitely up, and you were determined to get to the bottom of it. Even after a few calls, you were met with nothing each time. One last time ‘If you’re busy that’s fine…but I know something’s wrong. Please talk to me?” You almost wanted to cry, not out of your own sadness. But out of love. Because the one who had your heart was going through something big and you didn’t know what. 

Your phone buzzed, and you quickly checked to see it was Mare. However…it wasn’t his usual dorky or even flirty self. He usually sent you paragraphs at a time, and several messages at once. This one was short and cold. 

‘Stop texting me.’ 

You were baffled. Thoughts flooded and you worried about every possible thing that could be wrong. Did you do something? Something to make him this upset? But…everything was so good a couple days ago. Before he practically ghosted you out of nowhere. This was so random, you couldn’t even think of anything that might have made him upset. It was only more worrisome. 

‘You make it sound like I don’t care…But I love you.” Was the response you sent. Maybe your words would help him, and make him realize you’d always be there for him. His response was instant. As if he’d been waiting to say those words. 

‘No you don’t! Stop the fucking mind games!’ 

This time you really did cry. He was being so harsh, but why? A deep breath and you stopped your tears. Crying wouldn’t help in this situation. You had to get to the bottom of this. If you could help even a tiny bit, it’d be worth it. 

‘Come over. Talk to me. We need to figure this out.’ Was what you sent. You didn’t know if he’d read it. Given how cruel his words sounded, you half believed he was completely done with you. You didn’t want to think that way, but your overthinking brain couldn’t come up with other possibilities. Just thinking of the worst scenario. 

However only moments later, a familiar wave of smoke passed through your room’s door. Then Mare was standing in front of you with an expression on his face that can’t be described as anything but hateful. It made you recoil back, but you knew sometimes he needed some tough love. So you tried to look tougher than you felt. 

“Well? What?” He almost growled, but he reeled himself back a bit. “What do you want?” There was venom laced in his words, and you started to become even more confused. 

“What’s wrong? You’re being hateful and I don’t understand why…if I did something wrong please tell me.” Your eyes were filled with concern, but that only seemed to make him angrier. 

He started to reach out, but he stopped himself. “It sucks because as much as I want to hate you…” He looked away, and went from looking angry to defeated. He looked at you after several seconds and finished, “I can’t.” He approached you this time, and pulled you close. 

He buried his face in your neck and sighed. “No one’s ever made me feel this way before…” He pulled back and put his forehead against yours. His look was finally back to something aside from anger. “It…scares me.” Mare confessed, and wrapped his arms around you. “Everyone expects so little from me and thinks I’m worthless, but you make me want to prove them different. Show them they’re wrong.” 

You hugged him, and kissed his nose. He did the adorable thing he always did, and wiggled his nose a bit at the action. “You already are so much bigger than the people who say you’re less…you’re kind, you care about the world and the people in it. Well…most of them.” You winked to try and lighten the mood and he let out a chuckle. 

He looked terrified after he laughed and he pulled back. “I…I shouldn’t have said all that. Shit…SHIT!” Mare wasn’t used to opening up about insecurities in any way, and a lot of people would believe he didn’t have any. You knew different, you always have. “I…have to go.” He turned around, but you reached out faster and grabbed his hand. 

“Stay…please?” It almost sounded like a whine, but you didn’t care. You needed him here with you. “I missed you…I want to talk. Help you figure out anything you can. And let you know I’m here for you no matter what. Anything you’re going through…we’ll get through…together.” When he turned back towards you he was met with the kind smile he loved to see on your face. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” He tried to hide it, but tears welled up in his eyes. “I can’t provide for you like I want to…I’m practically useless to you. You should expect better from me, and you deserve that but I…can’t help it.” Without even realizing it, he squeezed your hand back tightly. He was so scared to let you go. “I don’t deserve to love you.” 

You tilted your head, and smiled at him, guiding him to look into your eyes. “Why can’t you love me with no strings attached?” He looked shocked and you continued, “Without expectations. Without guilt, or worry, or insecurities. If I say I love you…and you love me…fuck the world. We have each other. Forget all the bad shit they say about you, and listen to your heart.” You gained a small bashful smile, “If your heart wants me then that’s all that matters.” 

He looked away again, only to be guided back to you, “There’s better people out there…I love you so fucking much, but I don’t get how you can love me. I can’t offer anything-” Mare started when you cut him off. 

“I don’t care. I love you and only you.” You held both his hands, and looked at him with determination in your eyes. “I don’t believe that there’s better people. You think you don’t offer me anything? Happiness. Something most important to almost everyone out there. You make me happy. More than anyone else in the world.” At his soft gaze, you smiled. It was the kind of smile that made him want to smile too. 

So he did, and he responded in a whisper, “I’ll never get tired of seeing you. Everything you do…I love it. You’re my everything. My world.” He meant every word, he felt almost silly for having such a mental spiral, knowing it could have been prevented had he just got over his pride and talked with you. He should have known better, but it seemed like his fatigue was starting to show. 

He sighed, and looked away from you briefly only to return his gaze. Mare almost shuffled in his spot, and decided to pull you into that deep and warm hug that he always did. Without meaning to at all, he yawned into your shoulder. You did notice him looking tired, but figured whatever was bothering him was keeping him awake. Now that you knew, you giggled softly and pulled back. He whined, and pouted at you once he could see your face. 

“Tired?” It was technically a question, but sounded a whole lot more like a statement. “Haven’t been able to sleep?” You looked at him sympathetically and cradled his cheek with your hand and rubbed under his eyes where the dark bags had formed. It was impossible to hide your worry, but it was far overshadowed by the care and love that was directed right at this man you loved. 

He leaned into your hand, and nuzzled it lightly as he shut his eyes. “I…sleep better when you’re in my arms.” It was a confession of sorts, and you knew it could be terrifying to say. Sometimes he was scared to make confessions that would make him look “weak” when he was already being vulnerable. 

You weren’t going to make him ever feel bad for confiding in you, so you grabbed his hand and led him towards the bedroom. He followed, and you wordlessly laid down with Mare. He pulled the blankets over you both, and let out an adorable yawn. He snuggled in close to you, and you heard him let out a big sigh of contentment. “I can’t believe…you actually want me.” It wasn’t in a negative or sad tone, he was just making a statement at this point. 

“Mare…you’re all I’ve ever wanted. I’ll be here for and with you, through everything. I mean it.” You leaned more against him, and pressed kisses across his arms as they wrapped around you. “I’ll prove it to you…over time. But for now…you need some sleep.” You giggled, as you held each other as close as you possibly could. 

It wasn’t long before you were almost asleep, yourself. It was just so comforting to be in his arms again. Though after a moment, he leaned close to your ear and whispered, “Thank you for never giving up on me.” You weren’t sure if he was intending to say that while you were awake or not, but it didn’t matter. Either way, you heard it. 

“I won’t give up on you. Not for a million years.” 

@serenitydusk @nerdqueenkat @thattiredanimator1t0mblr @viciouslyyearning

[checkers-dance]

hi oomf. i come to talk abt The Music. usually i would have sent something the moment i got done listening to it but i was fighting for my life (migraine 😔) but its another day and i've had more time to rlly digest the songs so at least my thoughts can be more coherent.

as a whole, i enjoyed myself a lot! it was very fun to listen to. there's something INSANE about hearing sh*wnu again. like wowwww i forgot how much i liked his voice??? it was such a joy, i think i ended up rlly latching to his lines. but hy*ngwon did rlly good too, i actually think his breathy tone (dunno how to describe it) was a rlly great fit for some of these songs, it was very neat. i feel like the entire ep sounded exactly like what i would expect from a unit with these two... idk but something about it just felt so natural. so i had a lot of fun! if i have any complaints, is that i wish it was a little longer... i RLLY could use a couple more songs, especially from hy*ngwon. as for more specific thoughts love me a little was reaaaally good, and i think it was the objective best choice as a title track so i'm glad they went with it. the chorus was SOOO good, its been stuck in my head all day. and the last part of the song was also sooo great, it had a rlly strong conclusion i feel. its rlly rlly cool to see hy*ngwon making title tracks, i reaaally hope he gets a chance to do it again. love therapy was not a fave but it had some rlly strong parts... i love love love the part where it's just hy*ngwon talk singing, it scratches such an itch for me. and that one high note by sh*wnu.... shaking throwing up /pos. roll with me was SO.... i think its my favorite. listen.... its the fucking piano... I KNOW IM SO PREDICTABLE BUT WELL.... it had a really fun darker vibe to it that i actually wasnt expecting, so i was very pleasantly surprised. and GODDD THAT PRECHORUS... TRULY A BANGER. play me was very cute, but i dont have too much to say about it. it was very fun but not a fav yknow. and lastly slow dance was SO fun and cute, its rlly romantic sounding and another personal fav. there's just something abt it. SO YES I HAD FUN... which is to be expected, i feel like its been a while since i've truly had anything negative to say abt anything mx releases which is sooo brainwashed of me but yknow 😔 ALSO i actually rlly dig the vibe of the cover. album covers in kpop are literally just text and a background, its getting so boring sjsbdbsbd yes this is still rlly simple but it has style to it yknow

outside of the music, the music video had some really cool shots, esp during the later half. but i was honestly kinda underwhelmed idkkkkk... I KNOW I SHOULDNT TRUST THEIR CONCEPT PHOTOS BUT LISTEN... THAT ONE VID THEY RELEASED WITH THE WEIRD ASS CREEPYPASTA VIBE?? they are literally just fucking with me at this point 😭

THERE MIGHT BE SOME TYPOS HERE BUT IM SLEEPY... I CANT BE BOTHERED TO CHECK IM SORRY

NO BUT IT'S ACTUALLY SO SAD THAT THEY HAD NONE OF THE VIBES FROM THE CREEPYPASTA MV......I was ready to sit here theorizing the meaning behind the tree and the lab thing and the beaker AND NONE OF IT SHOWED UP.....this is truly so sad. And yeah, the mv was cool but it didn't scratch the itch the preview video gave me 😭😭😭

Ik what u mean abt the breathy tone tho, hy*ngwon rlly does pull it off so well. And is it a coincidence roll w me is a fave of urs bc his breathy tone rlly is showed off there 🧐🧐. I liked roll w me, and yeah it def has a darker vibe

I agree w u abt play w me and slow dance so there's not much to say there

I actually rlly liked love therapy, minus the chorus which was just alright (BUT IT GETS STUCK IN MY HEAD OK...). The synth was simply too sexy. Also the fact that the song starts out w "I need some therapy" is so funny. This could've been the mx version of vixx's "lalala I need therapy" song. If the chorus was stronger I think this song would be a fave

Omg hy*ngwon composed the title track? Good for him. And yeah, the chorus is super catchy, and the build up to it is so good. Also the guitar at the end was SO good (<- extremely predictable for me). I was just listening to it again and I caught the subtle saxophone and IT SLAPPED......

[lanshappycorner]

i was rlly hoping that id have coherent things to say over your akuta and akushio threads on twt but i fucken dont have anything except just incoherent screaming and keysmashes /pos running through my head everytime i reread them so im just settling on just to say, one? HANDSHAKING YOU AT MACH SPEEDS I ALSO WANT TO AKUTA BREAKDOWN IN FRONT OF DAY2 BC CMON!!!! (side b tls arent complete but ive been spoiled a bit) but god the amt of breaking points (which i all favorited on eitori as i read along the tls bc why not) i was SO sure wouldve shown akuta outwardly disheartened and then DIDNT happen was just, felt like a damn chekovs breakdown in this instance, just WAITING for the shoe to drop, (which it does seem to, eventually, and im waiting to get absolutely WRECKED once tls for that moment drop) i absolutely love the way you break down akutas incapability of showing vulnerability as a whole bc of this just. notion that if he "breaks character" he'll just. lose the ppl that he has in his life? im bad at verbalizing my thoughts but everything on ur thread just had me pointing like YES, YES EXACTLY!!! i think. like looking back a lot of ppl in the game comment "wow nothing rlly brings akuta down!!! im glad!!" and it just makes me want to hit a wall, i am so so SO sad that hes able to hide this so well??? or at least, just, in a way that ppl around him just go "oh he'll bounce back, this is good ol' akuta, i dont need to worry too much"???? and the specific mention of his um vocal tics? vocal quirks? makes me want to revisit said chapters where his voice does that bc its such an interesting thing that i did notice but cld again never articulate, and how he always leaves- no, rather he tries to get away from people once he gets dejected and loses that rasp in voice and, adopting This into the belief system, him being on the verge of crying (which is such a thought that breaks my damn heart so bad) i remember reading the tl for akutas novel and just feeling my heart absolutely Crumble at the way his thoughts were running once the whole jig was up with sayochan "as long as no one gets hurt, its whatever" and like WHAT ABOUT YOU!!! YOU GOT HURT FROM THIS!!! (and im so so so glad that day2 and the whole of HAMAhouse was angry on his behalf n went to cheer him up and just, good god kid you have ppl who love you they wont leave if you show some vulnerability i promise, fuck) this isnt short anymore i apologize, ,, (1/?)

HELLO ANON THANK U FOR THE ASK THIS MADE ME VERY HAPPY !!!!!!!🫶🫶🫶 I've been stewing over what to say so it took me a while to reply but . Yeah

ANYWAY SO if you have not yet read side B you are in for a ride ....some of the things he says about himself will have u screaming crying throwing up fr (spoilers i guess but one thing he straight up says is that he's (or rather, his existence is) a nuisance . so thats great <3) he made me audibly gasp in horror.......it probably hits different too because throughout the story he has kept his cool and insists that things don't bother him so when the dam breaks...ohhh...💀💀

(Also speaking of his voice I went back and replayed that chapter where he's in the theater dressed as a crab and you can kinda see that in his voice again😭 and also his usual coping mechanism happens when the mc suggests they wait a while longer for more ppl to show up and he just jokes that his butt hurts from sitting, but his laugh was really weak like he was completely trying to play it off😭 He also somewhat drops the usual raspiness in his voice when he starts to ramble right before the movie but it's not because he's sad but because he's genuinely excited to talk which makes me so 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺)

BUT SAME THOUGH . HIS NOVEL MADE ME FROWN SO HARD.....he downplays a lot of his own emotions in favor of other people's feelings and he doesn't express his own anger....I'm so glad the ppl in HAMA House are there to support him😭 I hope one day he learns he can be more vulnerable with them because they all care for him and would never abandon him😭😭)

as for the Akushio thread!! I have to agree that their appearances do betray how you'd expect them to be, as with a lot of day2 tbh !! Like a lot of their 1st impressions don't line up with how they actually are/think (i would talk abt it but if I did we'd be here all day so that's for another time💀)

I can't say for sure but I feel like u might be onto smth abt Akuta twisting a lot of stuff ppl say into compliments. Like as long as it's not straight up an insult, he can appreciate that ppl r taking time to talk to him I think

(I agree I hope he gets to talk to taichi although that might be because I'm biased as a taichi akuta oshi)

OOO OKAY so I think that if Ushio ever confessed I think. I think it would break Akuta's brain for a second😭 probably because it's Ushio of all people like rly??? USHIO?? but also he might find himself doubting it for a moment he might think that it was a joke but also he knows Ushio wouldn't joke about that ....so he might have to take some time to himself to think abt this, and he might need Ushio to like. Talk to him in depth abt how he feels abt him😭 (speaking of which I've kinda had an idea similar to an akushio confession but not rly ?? bouncing around in my head for a while now so mayhaps I will draw that sometime...)

NO YEAH IM OBSESSED....Akuta going to Ushio for affection is so cute (although I'm pretty sure he goes in expecting that Ushio would not agree💀) ....I hope one day Akuta goes to Ushio for affection again and Ushio actually does it and this freaks Akuta out so bad he gets really red and nosebleeds or smth idk

Anyway to answer the last part of ur ask, don't worry this isn't imposing or anything I love talking abt my blorbos<3 there's very few ppl who like this ship and stuff anyway so I rly appreciate it, ty for the nice ask anon!🫶🫶

[creepycrawliesinyourwalls]

rambling; online diary

i truely believe i can do heroin and not be addicted. i've been on dilaudid before, ive gotten high off my ass on weed, i took some vyvanse to see how itd go, and ultimately it was boring. being high is kinda boring. i complain about not having my cart, sure. but being so fr rn i do it for show. no one would ever believe me in a million years, but it is genuinely for show.

i have a hard time defining myself as a person, given the disorders i have. anything and everything that i could add to myself to humanize myself is a positive, never a negative. humanity is by definition flawed and faulty, if i have a flaw im more easily humanized.

im also incapable of being perfect, though if i wasn't abused to the point of my brain never fully forming a cohesive personality, i'm sure id be a prodigy. if my brain genetically disabled, i'd be top of my class, 4.0 gpa with honors.

with dissociative identity disorder, autism, adhd, bipolar 1, ptsd, clinical depression, arfid, and probably some sort of personality disorder, its hard to care about anything at all. these are only the mental and neurological disorders and defects, too.

inherently i was given the worst hand i could have gotten in birth. my potential is wasted, trapped inside this failure of a body. i could have been so much more. my face is somewhat conventionally attractive, so theres a win.

im confident that without my memory issues, joint pain, and depression i could be a full blown doctor. i have to settle for marketing, because my gpa currently is too low to get into engineering. i wanted to do mathematics for awhile to get into finance or something. i wanted to do geology bc my special interest is rocks, but i don't want to work for an oil company.

if i am not constantly improving with my life in any aspects, if i am stagnant for a stretch of time, i consider it a failure.

i do not have a personality, at least nothing coherent and consistent. some people say im loud, some say im shy. sweet, mean, smart, dumb, its all contradictory traits.

i consider myself better then most of the people i choose to be friends with. a good lot of them (danny, chloe, viktor) will probably never go to college. kaden might go, but im sure she'd just party the whole time. alix is maybe the only one who i'd even consider on my level, since he's aiming for law and finds debates enjoyable. he has the drive and determination to do well in life, and is at the very least takes steps to get where he wanted to get.

chloe wanted to get into medicine and be a doctor. she is chronically disabled and was failing half of he classes. from disabled to disabled person, there is no way in hell you are making it that far. id be surprised if she made it past 25, honestly. she viewed mental hospitals as a vacation, even excluding the morals on that view, its incorrect. she believed she wasn't addicted to her medication, and that it actually helped her. she never even tried.

i am beginning to become fond of alix, though. i hope my headmates realize how much better his is compared to others. taylor and vee are already fond of him, which is a good sign.

we seem to be improving our depression symptoms and dissociative amnesia, and we joined a cbt program to further along process after being voluntarily admitted to a psychiatric facility. (yes, we did ask to go. we were going to kill ourselves as soon as we were alone, we needed immediate help.) i want to work on breaking down our gatekeepers resolve, and get us to a place where we can work on final fusion. i would also like to address our npd traits, but our therapist wouldnt believe us, so ill have to work on that myself.

we haven't been practicing our religion as much as we used too, its kind of sad. we send a prayer up to apollo occasionally, and he usually answers. but otherwise we havent done any spell work. its sucks to admit it, and god to i want to delete this paragraph but i need to work on vulnerability to create and foster friendships that are mutually beneficial.

ive never seen the point of online friends, i think the concept is pointless. i've tried doing it, and everytime we ended up ghosting them. the effort did not match the spoils. if im going to have friends, i need them to invest in me before i invest in them. it can be materially, emotionally, or physically. as long as i gain benefits, you will too.

[palant1r]

THATS MORE THAN ONE LIKE IM ELABORATING

So. Soichiro operates off a "means justify the ends" mentality. "But Andy," you might say, "Soichiro does some WILD shit that's justified by ends! Like driving the bus into the TV station or putting cameras in his family's house!" Yes, well, here's the thing. "Means justify the ends" doesn't actually tell you anything about what "means" someone finds moral. And what you have to remember is that Soichiro is a cop. To him, a justifiable "means" is one that falls within his authority as police chief or is ordered by a higher authority, like L. This dude's gonna follow The Law. This is why he's perfectly happy to chain his son up for 50 days because L's cool with it but won't even touch a gun when he's not technically allowed to. The one exception to this is killing: that is a means that Soichiro will not utilize even when it falls within his authority as police chief or is ordered to do so.

Then there's Light as Kira, the most ends-justify-means motherfucker of all time. (This is of course not absolute — the idea of some people "deserving" to die is very deontological) He'll do literally anything to achieve his perfect world, and won't even see it as a necessary evil, but as an action made retroactively morally neutral by the end it's in service of. While Soichiro won't kill even in extreme circumstances, Light sees killing as the ultimate good because it's the only way he can achieve his desirable end. So it looks like he has opposite ideals from his father. But he has the same moral lodestone: The Law. We clown a lot on tumblr dot com about how Light should have just killed billionaires, but there's a fundamental reason he didn't. Light defines "good" or "bad" people by the standards of The Law. That's why he targets criminals: because, while he believes that The Law is being inadequately enforced, he believes that it is stigmatizing and rewarding the right things.

Soichiro's view of law and morality is that only established legal authority can dictate what actions are right and wrong to take, and those who have that authority have more ethical discretion than those who don't. Kira's view of law and morality is that the most desirable end is one that would be achieved by an absolutist application of the aims of those with established legal authority. While their methods are different, the two ultimately worship the same god, so to speak. And that puts them completely out of touch with any actually coherent moral ideology.

...For the most part.

See, Soichiro's exception is his rule against killing. It doesn't fit into his overall Cop Personality, but it's a conviction he won't compromise for anything. And, in the end, it's this conviction that takes Kira down — by leaving Mello alive, he ensures Light's defeat.

And Light's exception comes up when he loses his memories. Like his father, he refuses to hold a gun because it's illegal, but his means-justify-ends mindset goes far beyond Soichiro's. He refuses to manipulate Misa even when it would serve the investigation and even when L directly orders him to. He won't commit an action he views as morally questionable even for the most useful and moral of ends, even if that action is just like. Dating a woman. Contrast that with Soichiro, who was willing to make his own son think he was about to be killed by his father.

It's kinda sad when you think about it. Without the Death Note, Light clearly absorbed his father's moral code, but is even more principled and thoughtful about it. And then he gets the power to kill and his whole moral compass is turned on its head, only supporting Soichiro's argument that the power to kill is what's truly evil.

And it's also revealing how Kira defines a "good world" by the absence of evil, not the presence of good. He uses "good people" as a rhetorical device and goal, but promoting goodness never really factors into his decisions. The only way he can see to encourage virtue is to punish vice. It's quite fitting that a world ruled by Cop Shit is a world where punishment is the only way that's even entertained to improve things.

This, incidentally, is why Matsuda was never going to side with Light in the end. When he opens up about being able to understand Kira, he specifically says "to the weak and earnest, the world is definitely becoming a better place to live" and "I can also understand the feeling of those people who look upon Kira as being their savior." Light, I think, thought that this meant Matsuda was ideologically aligned with him, because Light fooled himself into thinking he was doing all the Kira shit for the sake of "good" people. But he wasn't. He betrayed the good people that were closest to him for the sake of his ends, and that is why Matsuda shot him instead of the others.

dont mind me just thinking about how soichiro and light have the same moral code but flipped on its head. thinking about how, without his memories, light seems to have the same fundamental ideals as his father but is actually way more principled than soichiro is. thinking about how theyre both so, so unbearably Cop about it

[satansbastards]

haiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! ur unwitness protection program thoughts. hand them over

okay get ready im about to launch them at you at mach 10

I don't have much in the way of who the individual members are because we just don't have much to go off of. Will hasn't really told us anything about them besides the fact that the group existed. (my brain just isn't letting me come up with ideas without at least SOME prior information)

I'm trying to go back through all the rolled episodes to see if I missed anything so current thoughts are based solely off of what I've been told and shown through the show itself.

Read more here cause I have a whole ass essay. Sorry not sorry.

Obv major spoilers for Prime Defenders and friends I have so many sad thoughts. Might post more after these ones but this is all the stuff that's been most on my mind about the UPP

We know Deadwood has issues with people going missing, whether or not those dissapearances are paranormal in nature or not. Who's to say? I wanna believe that while the group originally formed as a general way to investigate the spooky stuff going on around town, it ended off as a group of kids trying to find these poor souls who went missing.

I feel like they all absolutely could see spirits and monsters like William said, but in the sense of like, only being able to see out of the corners of their eyes. He mentioned everything being fuzzy and just out of sight, and I've seen stuff like that in like, John Dies at the End where average people can really only see otherworldly stuff from their peripheral vision.

William either had the best vision of the group or was just the best at investigating. Because I DO remember that in the rolled after the session zero Charlie mentioned that William had been out with his whole group and was the only one who saw the light of the wisp and ran off.

Aside from investigating missing people, he's also mentioned that they did investigate abandoned buildings and whatnot. I feel like UPP was trying to figure out just what exactly these monsters and spirits even were. Think like Gravity Falls with those journals cataloging the various creatures around the town. (this is also where the pacific northwest vibes I used to get for Deadwood before you mentioned how much better the Midwest would fit had come from.)

Give me the William Wisp monster manual Charlie you and I both know he would have made one.

Last big thing regarding the group is less of a coherent thought and more of a genuine question I have. How did they split up? I know William left because he felt he was a danger but! Did the UPP split up on good or bad terms with William?

We haven't gotten any sort of confirmation about whether or not they still keep in contact. Nothing, no texts, emails, calls. Not a single thing. Is this by William's choice or did his friends cut contact because they were afraid of him?

His parents likely have next to no knowledge about the supernatural but his friends DID. Are these thoughts William has had about whether or not he's even a person, even still himself, coming directly from him? To an extent I'd still say yes, but a very sinking feeling in my gut tells me he's had a very similar converstion before. With his old friends.

Did they ever talk to him about everything? Did they just not accept that he even COULD be William? They know people go missing a lot and don't come back. They likely knew that William also went missing, if Charlie is still sticking to his original draft for his origin.

How long was Will missing, had they given him up for dead and when he came back they assumed he wasn't the same William they knew? Did the monsters coming after Will only confirm those suspicions?

Did they ever even find a body or did William just "myseriously" reappear some time later? I can't say I even fully blame them for not trusting that if that was the case. As much as it hurts to think about, they were all scared kids and it's really hard to trust your friend who's been missing for god knows how long returning like nothing had happened. In Deadwood? With all these other monsters?

I can be upset about this possibility all I want but at the end of the day, I can see it happening. And understand where they're coming from. I just really wanna know what Will's current relationship with his old friends is. :(

That's all I've got at the moment! Feel free to rant about my thoughts and correct me on anything I misrembered or maybe stuff that was mentioned in the Rolled episodes cause I haven't fully gone through those yet! Thanks for letting me rant about this I love this so much.

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[ffeynn]

How- how did I just discover your blog? I really like the pale blue aesthetic! Anyways, if it's okay, can I ask for the marine bio club taking their shy fem s/o out on an aquarium date please? Thank u! (and mayhaps a first kiss too pls)

「 aquarium date + first kiss with a shy!s/o: marine bio club 」

a/n: ahh thank you for liking the pale blue and also requesting!! and ofc ofc i love them, i hope i at least can make you smile with this! and the words are around 1.8k if im not wrong but still! im sorry that it gets shorter toward the end anonn

pairings: shinkai kanata, hakaze kaoru, kanzaki souma x shy!reader (seperate)

↬ there wasn’t much of a crowd the day you and kanata went to your aquarium date. maybe even the universe wanted for you two to be off in your own little world, not like the both of you haven’t done so. shinkai was the one who asked you out on a date shortly after you were officially announced as a couple.

☆ walking along the entrance of the aquarium, your eyes immediately brightened up in amusement. it’s been a long time since you visited an aquarium so to have kanata bring you here is perfect. “the aquarium looks nice right? looking at the fish heals me.” he said. you nodded in response, excitement awaits you the more you stepped into the place. all of a sudden, a hand holds out toward your direction.

“h-huh?” by his sudden gesture, you find yourself quite flustered. but not wanting to let kanata wait, you timidly placed your hand over him. he intertwined it with a smile flashed at you. “hehe, now we won’t lose each other.” with that said, you walked to your first exhibition, holding hands with your blue haired boyfriend.

↬ watching how his eyes lit up, the way his mouth curved upward by bits, how he interacts with the marine life inside the humongous tank and how they responded to him so naturally, having your first date at an aquarium truly is the perfect way to start off your relationship.

☆ although that doesn’t mean you’re the only one who feels this. kanata loves how amazed you’re at each marine life you saw, how intently you listened to his words about some fishes and also the way you giggle happily because a guppy swimmed to you from your calls. it would be nice if he can take a picture of you right now, sadly his phone is now being repaired.

well it’s alright then, kanata will just save this sight of you in his mind, he’ll make sure he keeps it well. the sight of you waving at his sea friends with a warm smile on your face, blue shades of lighting surrounding you was more than enough for him to never let himself forget this moment.

↬ it’s a shame that you were already nearing the end of the aquarium, your pace had gotten slower as you lightly swinged your hand which was intertwined with kanata’s. the blue haired stopped on his track, pointing to a flapjack octopus, “that’s flapjack octopus, cute right?” he remembered some days before that you wanted to see said octopus in real life. kanata is glad you seemed to forget that their sweet first date is coming to an end, he doesn’t want to see you sad anymore.

☆ your eyes widened slightly at the rare sight of the octopus, you were so excited to be able to see it for the first time. he lets go of your hand and told you to go up closer, you were such a mysterious being, in a lovely way. for him now, seeing you happy is the best view than seeing any other sea friends of his happy!

while kanata too, doesn’t know where his impulse came from but he took a glance at you. without any warnings, he leaned in straight without hesitation until his lips met yours. you frozened up at your place, obviously startled by it. remember how earlier you said you were quite flustered? now you’re beyond flustered.

“ka- kanata.. you..” poor you, too surprised to even say a coherent sentence. you didn’t make an effort to hide the growing shades of roses on your cheek.

“did you.. not like it? maybe that was too sudden.. I’m sorry.” if it wasn’t for the fact that you can easily notice changes on his expression, no one would know that he feels guilty and gloomy for his love gesture just now.

you panicked at your sad lover and his misunderstanding, “wait kanata no! I, I like it very much!” the moment you realized what you just blurted out, you were sure your face was akin to a tomato.

kanata cracked a smile on his face as he replied to your words of assurement, “ehe, I like it very much too.” oh dear, he’s too dangerous for your poor and timid heart. except you won’t mind him making your heart palpitates out of love.

↬ when he heard that you’ve been wanting to go to aquarium, kaoru was quick to plan a perfect aquarium date in his mind. he was so eager to make you think this was one of the best date you’ve ever gone to but at the same time he’s panicking. sure, kaoru has gone on a few dates at the aquarium but this is you! he’s going on an aquarium date with you! he wants to make it more special!

☆ you looked at your watch and wondered if ever your lover will come to the date. did he suddenly have work to do? just when you were about to call him, a rushed footsteps could be heard from afar.

“soー sorry.. I was too caught upー” he stopped his words the moment you caressed his back as a way to tell him to calm down. before he explains whatever reason it was for his late arrival, you told him to catch his breath first. besides, the mini bouquet he’s gripping seems to give out the answer.

↬ you took out your phone to take a selfie of you and the scenery of the marine life swimming around. despite being shy to ask kaoru to be in the selfie along with you, you asked him, “hey kaoru, do you want to take a selfie together?”

☆ without any thinking made, kaoru took your request positively. happily if I must point it out. he bent himself down to fit into your camera, the close proximity maybe did make your ears red. it’ll be nice if kaoru didn’t see your reddening ears. “one.. two..” and on the count of three, you clicked the button.

you thought the picture would probably look nice if it weren't for the fact that kaoru suddenly kissed your cheek when your finger clicked the button. now the only thing you’re thinking of is how red you must be from the abrupt kiss. in some way, kaoru is thankful that you’re hiding your face from him or you would’ve seen just how he’s more flustered even if he’s the one who initiates it.

↬ around the exit for the aquarium, there was a souvenirs shop. kaoru took a plushie of a sea animal that he remembered you saying is your favorite and rushed to you who’s waiting outside the shop after he paid for it.

☆ he took a few seconds before calling out to you, let the guy soften down when he saw you pat the small bouquet he bought for you. if you’re going to smile that way whenever he gives you a small bouquet then kaoru is willing to do it everyday.

and if your smile gets as cheerful and happy as this, if your eyes will brighten up more than ever akin to a star, then he will buy you lots and lots of plushies. a gift from kaoru to you; so that he’ll always be in your mind. just like you never leaving his. so out of the spur of the moment, he asked if he can kiss you. you looked up to meet his eyes and before kaoru could say anything about his question to not let you feel uncomfortable, you answered with a yes. take the lead kaoru, your s/o is letting you kiss him.

kaoru probably had created many different scenarios of your first kiss but outside of an aquarium souvenir shop is not one of them. vacant of people around them, you took this rare chance to put away your things, hold kaoru’s forearms, tiptoe on your feet and left a 5 seconds kiss on his lips. after constantly being on the teased side, seeing your boyfriend so flustered with love was fun. the kiss felt sweet too. not like you were any better. this was the first time you’ve ever done that.

↬ how do you go to an aquarium date? usually in an aquarium, souma will just walk around, admiring and studying the marine life inside the tank. but what if you thought that was boring? this is a date, while he’s content with just walking around with you beside him, talking about all the sea lifes.. what about you? and despite him being embarrassed, he lowered his pride and asked for help from the people around him. (his akatsuki senpais gives really good advice! as expected of them!)

☆ at the first place, when you caught hints of souma worrying over if you’ll feel content with just walking around with him, you almost snorted. really, what was he mulling about, just knowing that you’re going to be with him is enough to make a bashful smile up your face. now that you and him are dating, you really wish he would know that and you’ll tell him that during your awaited aquarium date.

fast-forward to when the two of you were already inside the date location. just before you and souma started venturing into the place full of sea lifes, you found yourself holding your breath when you asked the purple haired, “do you.. want to hold hands?” souma wants to hold hands with you too! he wants even if he was inexperienced with affections. and he would never wish to see you disappointed.

for the greater, we’ll just feign ignorance to the growing blush on the both of you.

↬ you were doing exactly what he thought would make you feel bored but the joyous expression you have says otherwise. souma glanced at his hand which hasn’t left yours since then, your hand in his was perfect. like it was meant to be holding one another. the nervousness he felt while starting his day today was subdued by the time you’ve spent with him.

☆ “um.. souma?” he responded to your call almost immediately with a voice that seemed more warm than before. you turned your head toward him and looked straight in his light purple eyes, “you see, it doesn’t matter where or how, as long as I’m with you, I’ll always be happy with that.”

ending your words, you instantly looked elsewhere. souma never expected you to mutter those words to him, he appreciates you for that. you were right and that fact goes the same way with him. souma also loves how shy you become after saying those kinds of things, it makes his heart swell with adoration. the hand holding yours was tightening his hold yet it feels more calm.

↬ somewhere in the aquarium, tucked from public’s eyes, souma with his face covered in pretty red was still in disbelief. your lover being in such a situation, it helps soothe your own bashfulness too.

☆ with souma, he always makes sure to have your consent first before doing anything. that goes the same with kisses, more precisely a first kiss. he was surprised with himself too from his own little selfish request but there was this urge to lay a kiss on your lips. “may.. I kiss you?” he said, requested, asked, whatever it is, the only answer you’ll give will never change.

and again, somewhere in the aquarium, tucked from public’s eyes, souma cupped your cheek with one hand and leaned in. the process was slow, he looked into your eyes with his face dusted of rose shades. the kiss also felt long despite lasting for a quick 3 seconds.

[bound-writings]

Hey hey! I was wondering if you could make some amane/hanako fluffy relationship head canons 👀

omg yes sure im sorry youve have to wait like a year for this im sorryyy also i have ur other request i pwomise ill do it soon 🥺❤️

Hanako Relationship HCS

Hanako is just,, the best boyfriend ever... He is just a wholesome ghost who just craves affection from his loved one. Hanako will always be initiating affection at you in a relationship. He’s all over you, a part of him is always touching a part of you. Whether it’s hand holding or pinky linking, he’s always near to you, as if he’s bound to you. One of his favorite pastimes is making you blush, so expect frequent surprise  He likes to squish your cheeks too, it’s adorable to him when he sees your lips all pursed up, furrowed eyebrows and flushed cheeks as you try to get him off you. If you turn the tables on him and squish his cheeks, well, prepare for the most cutest sight you’ll ever see in your whole life. Hanako gets very embarrassed and red when you show affection to him first. Not that he minds, of course, he’s just like “wow I actually have an amazing lover who actually wants to love and kiss me despite me a flipping ghost.” He won’t comment on your affection until a bit later, right now he’s too flustered to say any coherent words. He will most definitely tease you about it though. Ah yes, there is also a lot of teasing in this relationship. No worries, it’s just harmless fun though! He’ll tone it down if you’re uncomfortable.

When I say Hanako is attached to you, I mean it. Even during class, this boy is there with you because apparently he has nothing better to do. So be prepared for people to see you talking to thin air for a while. If you try to shoo him away, he’ll act like he’s hurt by your oh so cruel words and just hug you tighter. Another thing, Hanako loves back hugs!! There’s nothing more satisfying than him squeezing you, his face buried in the crook of your neck, and he wordlessly cherishes your existence. The part he loves the best, however, is when you back hug him! Sneak up on his boy and hug him and he’ll be like putty in your hands. How he loves when your chest presses up against his back, wisps of your hair caressing his body, and your warm breath tickling his neck. It just makes him completely melt in your arms… but don’t call him out on it, at least not later. If you mention it while you’re holding him, he’d snap out of his daze and immediately realize what’s happening, and try to break free from your grasp, all in all ruining the moment. So if you want some wholesome moments… just stay quiet for a bit. He also likes to put his hat on you, especially when you’re feeling down (he just thinks it’s mega cute seeing you wear his clothes.)

Hanako trusts you A LOT. He has never let anyone this close to him, not when he was alive and not now. Well, that’s until he met you. You are someone who he can confide in and not feel like he’s being a nuisance. Whenever he has flashbacks from when he was alive, you’re the first person he would go to for comfort. Even though he doesn’t tell you the full story, he still loves you. He just wants to protect you from his painful past and his brother. Call him “Amane” and he might cry harder and hold you for hours.

Hanako is quite comfortable with PDA. He will probably rub it in Yashiro’s face that he’s literally dead and can still get dates, leading to Kou trying to fight Hanako. You name it, he’s holding your hand, arm around your waist, quick pecks on your cheek around anyone and everyone. Now, he does get a little bit nervous whenever you initiate PDA because he knows he can get a bit blushy and therefore doesn’t want people like Kou blackmailing him for “acting like a schoolgirl in love.” There’s also a lot of pet names! Hanako’s vocabulary ranges quite far, but his favorite and most used names always tend to deal with food. He likes to call you honey, sweet, and sugar in particular and actually anything that makes you flush. Once he called you donut with the most affection he could muster but you got offended because like?? Who calls their partner a donut?? He got all embarrassed and had to explain that you looked as delectable as a donut and tasted as sweet as one. And he left apologetically because he felt kind of stupid but you were like?? Wow that was kind of romantic actually..

DONUTS. Teaching Hanako to make donuts is one of my favorite little headcanon. You were like?? Hanako-kun?? How do you love donuts so much but you have no clue how to make them? So now you took it upon yourself to teach your beloved ghost boyfriend how to make his favorite sweet treat! Now, it’s going to have to be a time where barely anyone is around because you don’t want people to see you screaming and laughing by yourself. Hanako will need a lot of supervision in the kitchen (thankfully he isn’t as bad as Teru.) Hanako is more interested in watching you make the donuts and then him eating them so you’re going to have to discipline this boy. Of course, he comes around and he actually has a good time with you! His favorite part is when he gets to lick the spoon with the frosting. He will also 100 percent throw flour on you which escalates into a full-blown fight and ends up with both of you looking like actual ghosts with how white you are. You’re going to have to hold Hanako down because when it is time to clean up, he’s going to try and escape so don’t let that happen unless you want to be stuck cleaning by yourself. LET HIM FEEL YOUR PAIN WHEN YOU HAVE TO CLEAN HIS TOILETS.

Soon enough Hanako tries to make donuts for you, trying to return the favor (because.. he loves you 👉👈🥺.) He doesn’t even know how he managed to stay in the home economics room for so long without anyone noticing the chaos that’s going on in there. When he finishes the donuts… well they can’t even be called donuts because he messed them up so badly. And so he’s standing there, covered in dough and flour feeling quite sad because the donuts were meant for you and he failed miserably. Now, time to get rid of the evidence before you could come and see - too late… The door slammed open and you immediately winced at the state of the room, trying to fan the burnt smell out of the air. Ah, shit.

“Hanako-kun?! What the heck were you doing in here?”

Hanako rubbed the back of his head awkwardly making a peace sign with his fingers. “Just.. just cooking up some donuts like how you taught me to, (Name)-chan!”

“...I didn’t teach you to make a mess! What were you even thinking… what if someone came in and saw things floating in mid-air!” You hurried over to the ghost with a towel in hand. “If you wanted some donuts, you could have asked me to make-” pausing midsentence, you squinted at the bag on the table. Scrawled on brown paper bag read “For (Name)-chan.”

Noticing your attention at the table, he quickly stepped in front of your line of view with a nervous grin. “Let’s clean up now (Name)-chan~” 

But your attention was directed at the slightly burnt donuts on a plate. Hanako hadn’t made donuts to satisfy himself, he made them to show his gratitude to you! You felt touched as your heart pattered against your chest. You reached towards the burnt donuts.

“W-wah?! (Name)-chan, don’t eat that!”

You munched on the treat. It was burnt, but still had the lingering taste of sweetness, and most important, Hanako’s love. Hanako’s jaw dropped as he grabbed both of your hands.

“(Name-chan), why would you eat that?! It’s horrible and burnt, and all messed up!”

You shook your head, smiling at him while you licked the crumbs off your fingers. “It’s actually not too bad, Hanako-kun. Actually quite scrumptious for being burnt! You just need to learn to bake for a shorter amount of time and you’ll be a master at donut making in no time! Here, have a taste!”

You smashed your lips onto his. Hanako could taste the burnt donut on your lips, but all he cared about was that you were kissing him. Letting go of your wrists, instead he snaked his hands up and intertwined his fingers with yours.

Don’t doubt the wholesomeness of Hanako, he’ll have you busting uwus all day bro. Precious ghost bb most be protected.

[hanniiesuckle17]

Love > Shame

A/n: im hoping i got the request right! Hope you all enjoy! (this is not thoroughly edited srryyyyy) also like frick ^^this video his vlog is the most boyfriend thing ever

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: cussing, partial nudity

Requested by: @ann0325441904​

Tag List: @distrikt9​ @mini-meanhoe​ @poeticallyspaghetti​ @hanstagrams​ @desertofdessert​ @yangomangos​ @hoes4hoseok​

Summary: Sometimes timing isn’t the best. With tensions high at work for Jisung and your time of the month really kicking you in the ass, a fight breaks out between you and your boyfriend leaving you completely alone in a country far away from your old family and friends. Misunderstood problems turn to jealous and catty fights. Is there any way the two of you can come back together?

Genre: romance, angst, fluff

◈

Pain shot through my abdomen. It was like someone was sticking eight thousand needles into my stomach repeatedly for the sole purpose of fucking with me. Fuck womanhood. The pain meds I took earlier were doing nothing to help. This was putting me in a terrible mood. 

The sound of shower running floated from behind the closed door of the adjoining bathroom. My longtime boyfriend, Jisung, lay just beyond it. It was easily one o’clock in the morning, but I always waited up for Jisung to return home from practice. He had also come home in a rather sour mood. 

Deciding that the leggings I was wearing were far too constricting to sleep in with cramps, I got up and waddled my way over to our big closet. Jisung and I both had enough clothes each to fill an entire apartment so when we were apartment hunting, a big closet was a must. 

I threw the pants in the hamper and grabbed one of Jisung’s t-shirts from his side of the closet. The soft black fabric fell around my thighs. Why Jisung bought shirts four times than his actual size was still a mystery to me. The pressure on my stomach lessened but still remained. 

The door opened to reveal a shirtless Jisung emerging from the bathroom. A pair of gray sweatpants hung low on his hips, the fabric making a swishing sound as he walked. It was clear he was still upset. Jisung roughly towel dried his hair, rubbing the cloth over his dark locks. “You still upset, babe?” I asked looking over at him. It took all my willpower not to snap out the words. He shook his head and looked over at me with a pointed glance. “You wanna talk about it?” 

Again, Jisung shook his head. “Ji, it’s not healthy to keep this bottled up. I think you might feel better if you would talk about it.” An aggravated sigh left his lips and he laid back on the bed. 

“Y/n. I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about it.” 

It was hard to watch Jisung so upset. I walked over and laid next to him, trying to ignore the agonizing pain. My fingers traced random patterns against his stomach. The action usually calmed him down. However, he simply turned his head away from me tossing the towel somewhere else in the room. “Jisung, its not good to go to bed angry-”

“Babe, just leave me alone and stop being such a clingy bitch.”

I froze, hand hovering over his stomach. Silence hung heavy in the air. It seemed Jisung had no intention of taking back what he said. He didn’t even seem like he regretted it. “Excuse me?” I said sitting up in disbelief. 

I felt like screaming. Crying. Throwing everything in this room at Jisung’s little pimple head until it popped. “What?” He said rolling his eyes. Wet black hair hung in front of his vision. 

“Did you just....”

“Just get over it. I want to go to bed.”

“Get...over it?” I scoffed getting up from the bed. 

“Yes. You’re overreacting. Just get over it.” I shook my head in disbelief. This was not the Jisung that I knew. This was not the Jisung I was in love with. The boy who ran in the rain with me just to capture the perfect kiss on our first date. The boy who sent me love notes every day for two months until I agreed to go out with him. The one who stayed with me when my aunt died and I was too heartbroken to leave the bedroom since I couldn’t fly home for the funeral. The one who never went to sleep until he told me how much he loved me whether I was awake to hear it or not. 

“Look I get you’ve had a shitty day. But I’m not just someone you can push around Jisung. You know that.”

He sat up, clearly annoyed. “I’m not pushing you around!”

“You called me a bitch!”

“Well, you’re kind of acting like one!”

“Well, you’re kind of acting like an asshole.” Jisung rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the bed. Anger started to bubble up in my chest. “What the fuck, Ji?” 

“Look- I don’t owe you anything okay! All I wanted to do was come home and get to sleep. I don’t want to deal with all your nagging.” 

“Jisung I care about you. I love you! I’m just trying to help.”

Nothing seemed to make it better. Eventually, I stopped trying to be the good guy. I stopped trying to keep my voice quiet. If he was going to yell at me, then I would yell back. He couldn’t just walk all over me. My emotions broke loose along with the rest of hell. 

“I WORK ALL DAY! ALL YOU DO IS SIT ON YOUR ASS AT HOME ON YOUR COMPUTER. I’M TRYING TO PROVIDE FOR THE TWO OF US Y/N!” 

“SIT ON MY ASS? I’M TRYING TO GRADUATE JISUNG!”

“Listen I can’t deal with you anymore.” He said turning his back on me and looking out the window. The muscles in his back were tight and tense. “Just fuck off, Y/n.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. The pain in my stomach was just making me even angrier. “That’s it. Get out.” Jisung turned around in shock. He started stuttering and trying to form a coherent sentence. “You heard what I said. Out.” My finger pointed to the door furthering my stance on the situation.

“Y/n-”

“Get out, Jisung! Go sleep at the dorms.”

He started gathering his things, tugging on a random hoodie and slipping on some socks from the dresser. “This is is exactly what I was talking about.” He mumbled. Jisung stood up, clearly pissed off. He started towards the bedroom door but stopped and turned back until he was standing right in front of me. His wet hair was covered by a beanie, pushing it all in front of his eyes. “You know what, Y/n? Call me when you decide to stop being such a heartless bitch.” 

My hand flew across his cheek before I could even think. What surprised me...what hurt me....was that I didn’t regret it. Jisung stood in front of me, shocked, his eyes looked hurt. His doe eyes which I loved so much always told me what he was thinking. But, as they stared back at me, I didn’t recognize them. 

“I hate you...”

He sighed seeing a tear leak onto my cheek. His long fingers wrapped around my wrist, but I pulled away before he could get to close. His cheek was starting to turn red from when I hit him. “No...you don’t.” I looked away not wanting him to see me cry. Of course, he knew I was lying. There was nothing he didn’t know about me.

“I should....I should hate you...” He made no effort to reach out to me again. In all honesty, I didn’t know if I wanted him to right now. I wanted to push him away, but I also want him to hold me until everything was okay again. “Just go.”

After a moment, he nodded and I followed him to the front door. He picked up his keys and walked out into the hall, leaving me standing in the doorway. He turned back to me, like he was going to say something else, but stopped when he looked into my eyes. 

“Don’t call me,” I said, the last tear falling down my cheek as I shut the door.

◈

Two weeks had passed. It looked like Jisung and I were on a break. Whether it was temporary or for good I didn’t know. My hand brushed over Jisung’s side of the bed. The sheets were cold. They were never cold. Sunlight streamed in through the large glass window in our bedroom. Well...it wasn’t really ‘ours’ anymore. I sat up waiting for arms to pull me back down under the covers. Arms that never reached out. 

Mornings like these were usually spent in Jisung’s arms staring out at the skyline trying to convince him that he did indeed have to go to work. Lazy kisses, sleepy whispers even though no one else was in the room but us. There were no calls. No texts. Not even a fucking post on Instagram. Nothing. 

All my friends were back home. I was alone in Seoul. No one but Jisung. There was a knock at the front door. Dragging myself out of the queen size bed, my feet trudged over the wood floor in the apartment. I looked through the peephole only to find a huge stuffed bear looking back at me. 

“The fuck...” I mumbled. My fingers switched open the locks and opened the door. The teddy bear moved aside to reveal a face that made me burst into tears. “DANNY!” I screamed wrapping my arms around him.  

Daniel had been my friend practically since birth. We grew up next door to each other. Our parents even bathed us together. Daniel hugged me tight spinning me around in the hallway. It felt so good to see him again.

I would not have made it through high school in my home country if Danny hadn’t been with me. I had missed him so much. As most old friends did, we had dated for about six months in senior year but decided we were better off as we were before. Daniel was a sight for sore eyes.

“How are you here?” I asked cupping his face.

He smiled down at me. Even though he hadn’t had a growth spurt since the ninth grade it seemed he had sprouted another five inches. “I’ve been planning to surprise you! With finals coming up I knew you’d be busy, so I came down so we could party beforehand.” He ruffled my hair and moved past me into the apartment. “So, where is he? I want to meet the man officially!” 

Daniel looked around the quiet apartment before turning back to me expectantly. Jisung. He was looking for Jisung. Just the thought of him made me sad. Danny’s smile fell seeing my expression. “Y/n, what’s wrong?” He brought me further into the apartment and closed the door. “Did I say something?” 

I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair. “Do you want some tea?” Looking for anything to distract me I moved to the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove. Before I could turn the switch, a hand came over mine.

“Y/n, did something happen with you and Jisung?” 

He sighed watching me nod. The silence only lasted a moment before Daniel pulled me into another warm hug. The feeling of his arms around me was comforting, but not fulfilling. There was something missing about the way he hugged me. 

My hair. Every time Jisung hugged me, one of his hands would always hold my head to his chest. His fingers would stroke my hair, lingering at the base of my neck. It was a small thing. A very Jisung thing. But, a small thing I missed none the less. I felt empty without his fingers threading through my hair.

“You know what we should do?” I hummed in response as he pulled away, keeping his hands on my shoulders. “Let’s go drinking!” Daniel was always dragging me on wild adventures. He could never sit still. That’s probably why we never worked out. While I loved a good adventure, sometimes I wanted to just sit with a good book, or just lie in bed listening to the rain. 

“Fine. But, you’re paying.” He cheered and rushed off to go change and I found myself doing the same. Hopefully, I could get Jisung off of my mind.

◈

My eyes looked across the room from over the rim of a martini glass. The heels of my shoes lay firmly hooked over the bottom of the bar stool. “What happened anyway?” Daniel said over the thumping music. He sat next to me at the bar of the nightclub we were in, taking a swig from an overpriced bottle of beer. 

A sigh floated past my lips. My fingers traced the base of the elegant glass. “We got into a stupid fight. I regret almost everything. If I wasn’t on my fucking period I probably wouldn’t have acted so rashly. It wasn’t all my fault though. He’s the one who called me a ‘heartless bitch’.” Daniel spit out the beer he was currently drinking. 

“He what?!” 

“He was just angry.”

“That’s no excuse.” 

I sighed, rubbing my temples. “If it helps I did slap him.” Daniel let loose a little smile and took another sip from his drink. “He had a really bad day. He wouldn’t talk to me. I was just trying to help.” I watched Daniel’s brows furrow. The base of his beer bottle was rolling around the bar top as he thought. 

“Do you remember in sophomore year, I had just gotten into a massive fight with my parent about school and I wouldn’t tell you anything about it.”

“Yeah. It pissed me off. You clearly needed to vent. You ended up punching Marty Finch in anger the next day.” 

Daniel laughed before turning towards me again, eyes serious. “Well, I was too ashamed to talk to you about it. Then, I mean. You were always much better than me in school. I didn’t want you to think less of me because I was having so much trouble with something so simple.” I stared into the clear liquid in my glass. “What I’m saying is...he may have felt like you would have seen him as less of a man if he told you how he was feeling at the time.” 

Daniel reached over and took my hand in his, laying it on the bartop. “He still didn’t have to call me a bitch though,” I said with a sad smile on my lips. 

“Yeah, no. That was a fucking asshole move.” My friend glanced down at my now empty drink. “Another gin martini, dry.” He said to the bartender, who removed my empty glass. Daniel scanned my face. It was hard to hide the depressing way I was feeling. “You really miss him don’t you?”

I nodded, looking away from him and out into the club. “I really do. Danny, I miss him so fucking mu-” I froze. I must be imagining things. My eyes must be lying to me because there was no way I was looking at Jisung sitting on the other side of the club. His arm was draped around a girl with dyed hair. Her hand was squeezing his thigh as he whispered something in his ear. His eyes met mine.

There was a flash of something. Sadness? Guilt? Longing? But, it disappeared before I could question it. Daniel followed my gaze, tapping his finger against the back of my hand. “What’s up? Who is that?” Anger started to boil in the pit of my stomach. Maybe not anger. Anger wasn’t a good word. It hurt more than it made me angry. Jealousy. Jealousy is what was eating away at my insides as his hand played with her hair. 

Danny looked over at the man who used to be mine with a curious gaze. “Jisung,” I whispered, turning back and downing the new martini in one gulp. The alcohol burned the back of my throat distracting me from the stabbing pain in my heart. 

Daniel started to get up, fury in his eyes burning like white hot flames. My hand stopped him from doing something he would later probably not regret at all. “Y/n- are you kidding right now? I’m gonna kill him!”

“Danny, stop. Let’s just go.” 

I took his hand in mine and dragged him away from the bar. The air around me felt heavy. Like I was up on a mountain. Pushing away the pain in my chest I dragged my friend away from the club, not feeling the pair of doe eyes on my back. 

◈

The drone of the television played through the apartment. It was raining outside. It had been raining since the night of the club about four days ago. Daniel sat on my couch, my legs across his lap. A half empty bottle of wine sat on the coffee table and a fully drained one lay next to it. Much alcohol had been consumed in the past few days between the two of us. Daniel; to make me feel better. Me; to forget about the hurt I felt in my chest. 

A light buzz was hovering in my brain as I took another sip from my wine glass. “I know that now is probably not the time,” Daniel said, changing topics. “But, I had a question to ask you about Marin.” 

Marin was Daniel’s girlfriend. She was quite possibly the sweetest person I had ever met. Daniel was lucky to have her. “Oh no. What did you do? You didn’t run here to escape from your fuck up did you? Danny, she’ll kill me! I like being alive!” He laughed patting my leg a few times.

“No. Don’t worry. I wanted your advice.” 

“Hit me with it, baby,” I said drinking the rest of my glass dry. 

Daniel set the glass on the table, turning to me. “Is two and a half years too soon?” I pouted my lips and looked out the window. The view was still immaculate without Jisung next to me. It just felt...lonely even with Danny here. 

“Too soon for what?”

He sighed, that familiar cheeky grin popping onto his cheeks. “I want to ask Marin to marry me.” 

“GET OUT OF TOWN!” I screamed. He laughed when I started squealing. My hands slapped at his shoulder. My little Danny was going to get married. 

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I came to Seoul to ask for your advice. And also to ask if you’ll be my ‘best man’ of sorts.” 

“Are you kidding? Of course, I will!” I jumped up from the couch and poured us both more wine. “Have you asked her dad?” He nodded taking a sip of the sweet alcohol. 

“So you think I should do it?”

“Fuck yeah, I think you should do it!” I stared at Daniel with a smile on my face. I could remember when he had gotten his long-legged ass stuck in a baby swing at the park for three hours before we had to find a pair of bolt cutters and run off with the swing. “I cannot believe you are getting married! My little Danny!”  I said leaning over and wrapping my arms around his neck, carefully making sure not to spill my wine. 

The sound of the front door opening had me pulling away from my friend. My eyes widened as Jisung stepped through the door, keys in hand. His stare moved from me to Daniel then zeroed in on my hand still on his neck. 

“Jisung-” I shot up on my feet setting the wine on the table. 

He scoffed closing the door, shoving the keys in his back pocket. “Don’t let me interrupt your date. I just came to get some things.” Jisung’s voice sounded like music to my ears despite its cold tone. He wore a pair of old ripped pair of black jeans I hadn’t seen since we started dating and a baggy white shirt. His usual noir beanie covering his dark hair. 

Daniel awkwardly tapped on his wine glass and watched as Jisung traveled into the bedroom. He looked and me before nudging his head towards the door. I mouthed a few choice words to him which resulted in a silent argument. 

“One of us is going to go in there, and if I do he’s walking out with a black eye and some missing teeth.”

“Oh please. You know he could kick your ass with his hands tied behind his back,” I whispered. 

“Why can’t you date less athletic people? I’d like to be able to defend your honor.” He started pushing me towards the bedroom with his foot. He groaned when I resisted. “Y/n, it’s obvious you're miserable without him and he doesn’t look too happy either.”

Taking a long deep breath, I turned towards the open doorway. My whole body went numb as I took the short steps into the room. Jisung stood at our closet, a bag open on the bed. His head turned hearing the door close behind me. 

“Don’t worry. I’m just getting some clothes. I didn’t think you’d be here.” He tossed a hoodie into the bag, not meeting my eyes. I watched him pack for a moment. He clearly felt uncomfortable under my stare. “I’m going to be out of your hair soon. You don’t have to watch me like a hawk.”

“Don’t leave,” 

His movements stopped, his back away from me towards the closet. An almost perfect replication of the night he left. His fingers twitched as if he was debating putting back the shirt in his hands. 

“I’m a little tipsy, but I’m sober enough to know that if you walk out that door....I’m going to lose you forever.” 

My eyes searched for any sign for me to continue, but his face stayed hidden from me. Jisung dropped his head but stayed silent. I watched his fingers tighten over the fabric in his hand. 

My hand reached out, afraid to touch him, but longing to feel him again. His head turned feeling the brush of my palm on his arm. “Jisung,” He sighed hearing his name. “Please don’t leave.”

Jisung turned around, looking down at me. “I saw you.” He whispered. I saw tears pricking at the edge of his eyes. “I saw you. At the club. You were with the guy in there. I saw you walk in together.” He searched my eyes for something I did not know. 

“So did I; I saw the girl.” He sighed, head falling into his hands. “Did you-...God I can’t even say it.” He winced when I tried to laugh through the awkwardness. “If you did-...we were technically on a break so... I have no right to be mad at you.”

“Even if I did, I would feel terrible if you weren’t.” 

Jisung looked at me with sincerity. “You didn’t sleep with her?” He shook his head, staring down at me. Just one look into his big doe eyes told me he was telling the truth. 

“She kissed me after you left, but I stopped her.” I couldn’t help the smile slipping onto my face. Jisung nodded towards the door before speaking again. “Is that your new boyfriend?” 

“Danny? Hell no. He’s my best friend from back home. He came to visit.” 

“Oh, thank God,” Jisung said in one breath. His hands reached for my cheeks smashing his lips against mine. My fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt tugging him closer to me. Jisung kissed me as if he was afraid I would disappear the moment he let go of me. His lips danced against mine, desperate to be with me again. I pulled away resting my forehead against his.

“Well...I mean technically...we dated in senior year, but that was a long time ago.” 

He nodded, fingers threading through my hair as his lips returned to mine. I was just as hungry for him as he was for me. He smiled feeling me push him backward, without breaking our kiss. He laughed quietly when I moved him into the open closet instead of a wall. Jisung straightened himself up before taking control and pinning me up against the doorframe. 

“Wait,” He said breaking the kiss, smiling as I chased after his lips. “Didn’t you say you lost your virginity your senior year.” He asked looking into my eyes, brows furrowed.

“Umm...shhhh. This is about us, yeah?” 

Before he could say anything else about Daniel, I kissed him again tugging off his beanie and running my fingers through his soft locks. He broke away and nuzzled his face in my neck, arms wrapped tightly around my waist. “I’m so sorry, baby. I was a total ass. I should never have said those things.” 

“No, I’m sorry. I regret everything that happened. My emotions were all wack because of my period.”

“Well...I did deserve that slap.” 

“Maybe a little.”

“Hey!” He laughed, letting me know he wasn’t really offended. My thumb brushed over his cheek as I looked up into his eyes. “Y/n, I’m so sorry. I was too ashamed about what had happened that day to talk about it and I took it out on you. Can you forgive me?”

Leaning up, I kissed him gently savoring every moment. “Jisung, I love you. You never have to be ashamed to tell me anything. I love you unconditionally. Even when you leave coffee mugs all over the house. Even when you forget to pick up groceries when I ask you eight times in an hour.” He laughed resting his forehead against mine. “My love for you is greater than any mistake you could make or problem you have.”

“You are so cheesy.”

“You love it.” 

“I love you,” 

Jisung tilted his head, leaning down for another kiss. This one was slower, more careful. A knock on the door pulled us apart. Danny stood in the entryway, drinking from his wine glass. “So I’m assuming you will need a plus one on the wedding invite?” He said with a smile. 

“Jisung?” He closed his eyes and smiled hearing his name from my lips. “Would you go to a wedding with me?” He nodded, kissing me on the cheek. 

“Would love to, baby.” 

Daniel walked over and reached over to shake Jisung’s hand. “Nice to finally meet you,” He said with his goofy, lopsided grin. Jisung warily looked him up and down but smiled and shook his hand. “You want to be a groomsman?”

“Depends. Did you fuck the love of my life when you were eighteen?”

“JISUNG!”

“WHAT?”

◈

Requests are open my lovelies! Just send an ask!

Masterlist

[cassyapper]

jotaro kujo song analysis: “eight” by sleeping at last

i could not figure out what the fuck to title this for a long time. please forgive me ik it’s awkward but it’s the best i got

anyway the song “eight” by sleeping at last made me mentally ill so let’s get into why <3

here’s a link to the song: https://youtu.be/obi4KCh6eHQ

here’s a link to the lyrics i referenced: https://genius.com/Sleeping-at-last-eight-lyrics

be warned there are part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6 spoilers in this

with that let’s begin.

“I remember the minute;/it was like a switch was flipped --/i was just a kid who grew up strong enough/to pick this armor up,/and suddenly it fit” Lengthy first line to start this on i know but cutting it up didn’t make sense so please forgive me… Alright let’s get to the meat of this hm? This line is about when jotaro first manifested star platinum. “I remember the minute, it was like a switch was flipped” fits perfectly with how suddenly and obviously star platinum became known to its user, as jotaro first manifests it when he’s in the middle of a fight, a fight star platinum ends very quickly and brutally. The “i was just a kid who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up” is about jotaro having the willpower to control a stand such as star platinum and not get ill over it. He “grew up strong enough to pick this armor up”, this armor being star platinum (which, yes, star platinum is armor more than a weapon because its strength is used to protect. This is stated explicitly in the jin hashimoto song “star platinum” which was written specifically with jotaro/star platinum in mind, as the title suggests). It also shows how young jotaro was re the “kid” description; he was only 17, the youngest jojo up to that point. the “and suddenly it fit” also mixes with how suddenly star platinum manifested, particularly how jotaro gained passable control over it very quickly

“God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…/I was little, I was weak, I was perfectly naive,/and I grew up too quick.” Another long line im sorry it just doesnt make sense to cut it up 😭 Anyway this is part 6 jotaro reflecting on his past self, PARTICULARLY part 3 jotaro, which explains the “god, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…” segment “I was little, i was weak, i was perfectly naive” is kinda gold coming from part 6 jotaro cause end of part 3 jotaro is canonically when he’s at his strongest but i dont think part 6 jotaro is talking about star platinum in this line. He’s talking about jotaro being tactless and rude and pushing away his loved aways in a disillusioned attempt to keep them safe. By part 6, jotaro has to have known his coping mechanism of self-imposed isolation wasnt fair to his loved ones/himself and it clearly didnt WORK as evidenced by jolyne’s situation, so he’s cursing his younger self for it here. Hence, the calling of part 3 jotaro “little, weak, perfectly naive.” part 3 jotaro starts making the bed that part 6 jotaro ends up having to lay in and he hates him for it. The “and I grew up too quick” part is jotaro acknowledging his trauma. Even before part 3 started jotaro clearly had issues and they just kept building and building and building from part 3 and on. Combined with his self-imposed isolation, jotaro had to grow up quick to survive, and this line is part 6 jotaro reflecting on that

“Now you won’t see all that i have to lose,/all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it.” Remember the self-imposed isolation i mentioned in the last line? This line is about why jotaro does that. He hates being vulnerable. He hates relying on others. We only see him comfortable trusting others to take care of things ONCE the entire series, during the steely dan arc, when he believes in kakyoin’s abilities to keep joseph safe and get the lovers out of him safely. ONCE out of the four parts he’s featured in, out of the three he’s prominent in. jotaro does this, as i previously mentioned, out of a disillusioned attempt to keep those he loves safe, hence the “now you won’t see all that i have to lose” line. This behavior is solidified in jotaro at the end of stardust crusaders, when the two final times he tried to trust that others would handle it resulted in the deaths of over of half those he cared the most about (he may have gotten joseph back, but don’t forget that joseph did actually die). Thus, this decisive night ties into the “all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” line. He’s lost loved ones but he won’t lose them again, not in the same way at least. Ironically, the self-imposed isolation only puts his loved ones and himself in danger, but i can get into that later.

“I won’t let you in, i swore never again --/i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” This line kinda ties back with what i was mentioning in the last line, but it hones it a bit more on jotaro’s complete denial of being vulnerable rather than how he acts to ensure he isnt such. “I wont let you in, i swore never again” is a direct tie-in for how jotaro feels after stardust crusaders; he is never going to get as close to anyone or anything the way he was close to the crusaders ever again. Nothing is ever going to matter to him the same way and he is going to make sure of that, as the “swore never again” implies, because he is certain, at least at first, that this will keep others safe. The “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” part goes into how selfish and arrogant jotaro’s mentality is. Don’t get me wrong, jotaro’s self-imposed isolation can be seen as selfless, especially because the main driving force behind it is to keep others safe -- but it’s not the only force driving it. Like i said, jotaro doesn’t want to be vulnerable, and to be sure he doesnt feel that way, he needs to ensure he won’t be hurt. Can’t be sad when people die if you were never close to them, right? So as much as it is to protect others, he also is protecting himself by closing off from others. It’s also arrogant of jotaro to assume he is the deciding factor of who lives and dies, that he gets to choose/manipulate the cycle of life and death by deciding on if he opens up to others. Jotaro had this mentality of being a “deciding factor” shoved into his head during the journey to egypt, and that kinda warps his worldview as a result; everything must be his fault. Things go bad surely because he let them somehow. And it’s not jotaro’s fault he’s ill in the head like this but it is still arrogant, and the “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” line attests to this.

“I want to break these bones until theyre better/i want to break them right and feel alive” Oh jotaro you have the shittiest fuckign coping mechanisms Alright. “I want to break these bones until theyre better” ties into jotaro throwing himself into dangerous situations alone. He’s just so so damn convinced he can handle everything himself -- bc again, he is led to believe he is the deciding factor of life and death -- he just has to try. If things go wrong, it’s bc he didn’t try hard enough, hence the “break these bones until theyre better”; jotaro will hurt himself and will be convinced he deserved it until he “learns” how to be perfect like he’s “supposed” to be. But being perfect isnt something you can learn, you mentally ill motherfucker jotaro. anyway “I want to break them right and feel alive” ties into the fact jotaro would rather break his body over and over and over rather than tell his loved ones he cares. The only right way to be hurt to him is taking a hit that was meant for those he loves. Jotaro is very much a man of action rather than a man of word, and this line is about his rather unique way of acting (that is, getting beat the fuck up over and over) Basically jotaro can’t tell the people he loves that he, well, loves them, unless he is literally dying. Examples of what i mean: jotaro preferred going on a perilous, 50-day journey to just telling holly he loved her; jotaro preferred getting beat over the head with a rock in the lovers arc rather than risk hurting joseph; jotaro preferred to literally get blown up by sheer heart attack rather than tell koichi to his face he is a good kid; jotaro stepped knowingly into a trap for jolyne and had to literally believe he was in fact saying his last words before he uttered “i’ve always cherished you.”

“You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong --/my healing needed more than time” Oh my GODDDddDDDdcdd im sobbing as i type jotaro your head is so so damn ill Okay so i see him spitting this line towards joseph. Let me explain Joseph would no doubt pick up on jotaro’s ptsd and he’ll do his best to console jotaro over the deaths of their friends. But see joseph is ALSO an ill in the head idiot whose idea of therapy is electroshock and who calls ptsd “shell shock”. So all he can offer to jotaro is “youll feel better in time” because that was kinda true for him; he managed to move on in time. What joseph fails to realize is what made him feel better was not time, but the support of those remaining in his life (lisa lisa, suziq, erina, smokey). But jotaro listens and tries to give it time but the thing with jotaro is he just gets worse and worse as time wears on because he deliberately cut himself off from anyone who could console him (as well as got continually traumatized throughout his life), so time never helped but actually made things worse. Thus jotaro spitting “you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong, my healing needed more than time”. In terms of timeline, probably happens right after part 5 jotaro stares longingly at the crusaders picture

“When i see fragile things, helpless things, broken things/i see the familiar” Im sorry every new line i start to analyze i begin crying so im just letting you all know incase the coherency takes a dip (as if this was coherent in the first place lmfao) Anyway so this line in relation to Jotaro is about how he projects HARD on the new generation. We see this w his interactions w josuke and koichi, the “fragile things” (there is no way he didnt see koichi as a filler for kakyoin im sorry. Also he just wants josuke safe with his friends like how he wished he was safe with his own friends as a teenager), how he was wary of giorno, “the helpless things” (jotaro is scared he’ll be similar to his dad, just like jotaro is similar enough to dio to share the same stand power…), and his interactions w jolyne, “the broken things” (angry teen in a prison? Come now). 

“I was little, i was weak, i was perfect too/now i’m a broken mirror” Throwback to the second line. Once again part 6 jotaro is reflecting but the difference here is that part 3 was when jotaro was last unashamedly happy, but more than that, part 3 jotaro was on his way to healing before everything went to shit. like i mentioned earlier, jotaro only relies on someone else completely once, and that happens in part 3. Jotaro is finally able to trust in someone else’s capabilities, which is what he needed to do before he could allow anyone to help him with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Hence, why part 6 jotaro would describe him as “perfect”; because he would’ve been perfect enough if he could just trust in others like that again But as the line suggests, that went wrong. Jotaro is now a “broken mirror,” which alludes to the fact that while he projects onto the kids, the kids (the ones that know him at least) project onto him as well, especially jolyne, because in part 6 she finally figures out her dad’s thought processes, as she is experiencing those patterns of thinking too. Jotaro is a role model for them in the sense of “see him? Do the opposite of what he did” KJ;DNJ;DN;SN

“But i can’t let you see all that i have to lose/all that i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” Same meaning as before mostly but the repetition is important me thinks because it mimics jotaro like frantically trying to remind himself why he must be distant when all he wanted to do was go home to jolyne and be her father

“I can’t let you in --/ i swore never again,/ i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” This means roughly the same thing as the previous line that’s similar to this, but the “i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” is less about jotaro’s selfishness/arrogance and more about how he believes enemies will use his loved ones against him and how goddamn, it would work, it would work so well because jotaro loves so, so damn much It’s a shame distancing himself didn’t work the way he wanted it to and ended up making his loved ones even more vulnerable than they would have been otherwise

“I’m standing guard,/i’m falling apart/and all i want to do is to trust you” (Begins screaming and doesn’t stop) okay so this line is about jotaro and jolyne during the beginning of stone ocean “Im standing guard” alludes to the fact that jotaro is still desperately trying to appear distant and uninterested even as he attempts to break his fucking daughter out of prison “I’m falling apart” ties into jotaro failing miserably at remaining cold towards jolyne, how he eventually caves in and tells her he loves her in addition to taking a literal bullet for her, using time stop to ensure he can make it to her to do so. and also this line ties into how he is literally physically shot and how his memories and stand are taken from him “And all i want to do is to trust you” is directed towards jolyne of course. God his whole “i’ve always cherished you” ties in with this line; like i mentioned earlier, jotaro by part 6 knows his self-imposed isolation is useless, but old habits die hard and also he was in very deep by the time he accepted there was no reason to go in the first place at all. So he doesn’t know how to change, he doesn’t know how to trust jolyne, it’d been 20ish years since he last trusted someone completely, but god he wants to. He wants to trust her. It’s all he wants to do hence this line

“Show me how to lay my sword down/for long enough to let you through” So continuing from the last line, jotaro just wants to let jolyne in. he wants to learn how to do that. I think this line is actually directed towards his younger self; 17 year old jotaro managed to let in a person once, after all (more than one person in fact, but all the crusaders). This would also make more sense w my interpretation of how part 6 jotaro calls part 3 jotaro “perfect” in this regard Essentially it’s jotaro thumbing through his memories to figure out how his past self gathered the security to trust in someone else wholeheartedly...which makes the fact that pucci steals his memories particularly fucked up in this context

“Here i am, pry me open/what do you want to know?” Another line directed toward jolyne. “Here i am, pry me open” refers to how after jotaro tells jolyne he cherishes her, all cards are on the table. He’s shown vulnerability, might as well go full throttle. So, he’s willing to talk to jolyne for the first time ever, especially because she’s a stand user now “What do you want to know?” ties into jotaro being willing to open up, but also the fact that jolyne doesnt really know her dad ):

“I’m just a kid who grew up scared enough/to hold the door shut/and bury my innocence” Hhnghg begins wailing this line is again about post-egypt jotaro. A lot of jotaro’s like...emotional maturation (and even some physical) occurred during the trip to egypt and immediately afterward. he’s in pain and desperately trying to rationalize a way he can be in control of never letting something like what happened in egypt happen again, hence the “im just a kid who grew up scared enough” “To hold the door shut” refers to how jotaro cut off other people, even the people who used to know him very well, like joseph and polnareff and holly “And bury my innocence” i mentioned this in another line but this bit also refers to how jotaro had to grow up quickly to survive, considering his self-imposed isolation and his life path of chasing down dio’s remnants

“But here’s a map, here’s a shovel/here’s my Achilles’ heel” This line is SUPPOSED to be directed toward jolyne but inadvertently it is also directed toward pucci. When jotaro says fuck it and gives up on his pretense of disinterest in jolyne, finally letting her know he loves her, he’s finally building the frame of a bridge to jolyne; he’s ready to do what he’s wanted to for so long, no matter how vulnerable it makes him, and that is to be jolyne’s father. However, pucci takes note of this; he knows to aim for jolyne in the final battle because of jotaro’s earlier actions when he tries breaking jolyne out of prison. It really is a shame how the narrative keeps fucking enforcing jotaro’s shitty self-imposed isolation

“I’m all in, palms out, i’m at your mercy now and i’m ready to begin/i am strong, i am strong, i am strong enough to let you in” Hmm i imagine this line being when jotaro meets back up with jolyne after he gets his memory disk back. The first thing he does is hug her and cradle her close to him, showing off to the world, right in front of pucci, how much his daughter means to him. But jotaro, at least for the moment, is not scared to be vulnerable anymore. Ever since he decided to give up his cold facade, he was ready to let jolyne in, and he finally has the chance to do that at least a little right before the final battle, which is what this line is about

“I’ll shake the ground with all my might/i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” Final battle in stone ocean,,, What the “i’ll shake the ground will all my might” line refers to is jotaro’s willingness to use star platinum the world during the battle. He’s ready to go all in to save the world, and most importantly, save jolyne, even if he has to use the source of his greatest trauma to do it. Jotaro’s a key player and he knows it, has known it for a long time, and this time he’s going to use that for his happy ending. And well, as i mentioned in the last line, jotaro’s done with the self-isolation and throws himself into the role of jolyne’s father, at least as much as he has the right to throw himself into. This is mostly what the “i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” line refers to

“For the innocent, for the vulnerable/i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” More stone ocean final battle. The “innocent and vulnerable” jotaro is showing up for are jolyne, namely, but also hermes and emporio, and beyond that, the world. Jotaro understands how serious this is and he’s always been a force meant for protection, so he is here to do just that, which is what the “i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” line refers to. Jotaro doesnt believe he’s a good person -- and he might not be, in the grand scheme of things -- but he does fight for what he believes is right, he always has, he mentions this way back in stardust crusaders during his fight with kakyoin. He’s never going to let injustice stand, especially not when he knows he’s such a key player

“And i’ll give all i have, i’ll give my blood, give my sweat --/an ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” This line actually applies to all the “final battles” jotaro has been involved in; part 3, part 4, and part 6. Jotaro, as i mentioned in the last line, has a strong sense of justice and is a force that first and foremost tries to protect, which the “i’ll give all i have, i’’l give my blood, give my sweat” part of this line refers to. Jotaro gives his all, has given his all, to rid the world of dio’s influence, he ruined his entire fucking life to do so, and this line gives credence to that. “An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” refers to jotaro mourning all the what-ifs in his life, which are all tied with how the outcomes of these final battles go. If part 3 didnt end the way it did, jotaro would know how to trust still, he wouldve been happy even, maybe he wouldnt have had to sacrifice the rest of his life to dio; if part 4 didn’t end the way it did, maybe jotaro couldve gone home to his daughter, maybe he couldve been a bit of a better dad (this is because kids were involved in part 4 even if they didn’t try to because stand users attract stand users, and jotaro couldnt risk doing that to his daughter, so he ends up never coming home); and now for part 6, jotaro hopes that if it ends just a little better than the previous two, jotaro could at least died a satisfying death of sacrificing himself for jolyne, or maybe even got a chance to try mending his relationship with jolyne if they both survive

“I’m shattered porcelain, glued back together again” So this line speaks to both physical and emotional states Jotaro was physically “shattered porcelain” when he lost his stand and memory and also was shot, and he was “glued back together again” when he got medical attention and jolyne got back his disks Jotaro was emotionally “shattered porcelain” due to the fact he couldnt trust anyone completely since he was 17 goddamn years old but he’s “glued back together again” in the sense he’s ready to finally, finally try and be vulnerable in order to save his relationship with jolyne

“Invincible like i’ve never been” This line hurts so fucking much because i believe jotaro was optimistic, all things considered, at the beginning of the final fight in stone ocean. After all, he knows he’s an important figure in all this, he has his stand disk and memories back, he and jolyne and the others have a plan, and he has a future he wants to fight for in addition to the world’s continued functioning So he feels “invincible” like he’s never felt before because not even during the part 3 final battle with dio did he have the hope for the future he has now. But then. Then pucci brings out the knives. And the man who could control time never had enough in the end. He dies and cant even save jolyne with his death. The world ends. He failed. I think this is perfectly represented with how suddenly the song ends. It just perfectly encapsulates the tragedy that is jotaro kujo and i cant stop fucking thinking about it

thanks for reading all this if you did. jotaro kujo makes me feel mentally ill