#like newsflash asshole you’re not the only one here for a scan

[humandisastersquad]

also the fact that my manager said i have to prioritise patients who have been waiting the longest, even if they walked in, over prioritising keeping to appointment times, citing patients who have left bc of the long wait times,,, and like ik all management cares about is More Bums In Seats but like a) not honouring appointment times is for sure gonna make patients not want to come back and b) if they don’t want to wait that long they can make a fucking appointment, even if it’s just later that day bc what else did they expect, waltzing into a crowded, busy X-ray clinic

[liluwuzi]

AU UNIVERSITY | Pt. 1

warntings: alcohol usage and roughhousing | 18+

word count: 1.5k

A/N: Hi, guys. I've been writing for a while, but goooosh, this is my first MHA-ff. Ok, not gonna lie, I did take a few breaks when I did start writing, sooo bare with me. :)

The vibration of the music interfered with the way of the alcohol was moving into your system. Unfortunately, your body wasn’t a stranger to the poison. You were at a frat party with your close friend Ochaco that you’ve known since grade school. A friend of the both of you invited to this party, although you did not see most of your friends including Izuku Midoriya. Izuku was the main person who invited you two to the party. You kindly declined, but he insisted that you should. He wanted his close friends around him when he found out that he made the football team. It was sort of odd that Katsuki Bakugo was a major influence in that decision. You meant to ask him about it, but it always slipped your mind. Ochaco broke you train of thought by tapping you on the shoulder. You, of course, kept moving through the crowd before she tapped again, making you turn around completely.

“What, what’s wrong?” You ask her, feeling a slight discomfort on your back side.

“Have you seen Deku?” Ochaco scanned her bubbly brown eyes around the room before they met with the blue eyes of the stranger that was behind you. “(Y/N)-.”

You felt a little nervous since your friend was acting quite strange. “Well, is he behind me?” You asked, chuckling slightly as you felt two intruding hands around your waist. “Izuku?” The alcohol in your system made you a bit light headed. Normally, you would have probably told your green haired friend off, but you felt comfortable in his arms. You, unconsciously, place your hands on top of the intruders.

“Tsk, tsk. Calling me by the wrong name already, sweets?” The intruder leaned towards the side of you, breathing heavily. “That’s your first mistake, freshmen.”

“You’re not-.” The young man’s hand travelled it’s way to your back side and squeezed your buttocks. You yelped, there was a tingle going down your spin or was it your kitty purring for attention.

Your friend finally came to her senses as soon as she seen that Dabi was about to have his way with you.

“Oh, hey, Dabi. We were just looking for our friend.” Ochaco chuckled nervously, twiddling her fingers behind her back.

The black-haired boy stepped away from you, you turned around to see that it wasn’t your green haired friend, but one of the seniors. The brother of your friend – Shoto Todoroki. You tried to speak, but words wouldn’t come out.

“What are you two doing here? Upperclassmen only.” He grabbed one of the beers that was on the table which was filled with plenty of alcoholic refreshments. “This isn’t a place for girls like you.” Dabi chuckled, opening the refreshment with his teeth before taking a swig.

Izuku did not inform you two that freshmen weren’t invited. This was your first college party after all. Before the both of you could even speak, there was an arm that wrapped around Dabi’s neck. The blonde appeared from the other side of his shoulder, smiling from ear to ear. His golden eyes scanned the two girls’ body and chuckled. Dabi didn’t look too pleased to see him.

“Dabi, are you hogging all of the beautiful ladies from me?” His friend slurred a bit before taking Dabi’s bottle and took a drink from it.

“You’re so annoying.” Dabi glared at the blonde. “Keigo, I’d like drinks without your lips on them.”

The one that he called Keigo smirked once again, which turned into a toothy smile. “Oh, where’s the fun in that, old friend?” Keigo approached the two girls with both of his palms out. “Who were you looking for again?”

You tilted your head a bit, confused by his gestures. You were clearly annoyed by the drunk bird brain. You decided to pour yourself a drink by the station so that you could ease up a bit.

“Izuku Midoriya.” Ochaco answered him, frowning that you’re drinking again. She knew how you got sometimes. Wreckless and fighting, mainly when you were with the infamous bakusquad.

“Oh? The boy with the undercut and green hair?” Keigo nodded, removing his arm around Dabi and directed his thumb behind him. “He’s out in the back. We were back there. Having a little fun.” There goes that smile again, you thought, sipping from the red plastic cup.

Dabi sneered at his friend as they both walked towards the patio. “Come.” He signaled you both to follow the two. You both followed them both outside. You felt the cool breeze against your skin since you were wearing a yellow crop top and a pair of jean shorts. The patio was a nice setting, there was a pool and a couple of patio chairs around it. The moon shined bright along with the pool lights.

Outside, you found a shirtless Katsuki that was laying down in one of the patio chairs. You could tell he was out of it. He had his hand on his head and his beer in the other. You felt your body warming up again, not because of your red cup.

“Deku!” Ochaco arms were now around the greenette’s waist. Izuku cheeks were as red as his swimming trunks. She frowned, pulling back from him. “You smell like beer.”

Keigo laughed, “I mean, their partying with the captain of the football team, what are they supposed to smell like?”

You rolled your eyes at Keigo’s behavior. How could Dabi even be friends with this asshole? They are polar opposites. Speaking of, Dabi was sitting on the other side of the pool with another beer, on his phone.

“You.. know, Ochaco. Don’t call me that in front of people..” Izuku finally returned the hug to his old friend, whispering something in her ear.

A set of eyes were on you, but you kind of just shrugged it off. Drinking the rest of your cup, your body was exploding with an energy of pure ecstasy and Keigo detected it.

“Sooooo, you never told me your name. You’re kind of quiet. You always like this?” He approached you, but this time he wasn’t smiling.

“It’s (y/n). And no, I’m not always this quiet. I am checking out my surroundings so guys don’t try to take advantage of me.” You smile up at the cocky Keigo and he returned that smile.

“(Y/N).. That’s pretty cute.” He ran his hands through your (h/c) hair, intangling his hands into your hair, pushing head forward gently into his chest. “Watch your mouth.” He whispered into your ear. “Then again, I like my girls with a little bit of bite.” Keigo then released you from his grip and laughed. You just glared at him, not sure what to say. You hands curled up into fists, you were ready to risk it all at this moment.

“(Y/N)! I think I’m about to take De-Izuku back to the dorm!” Ochaco’s sweet voice distracted you from your violent thoughts. Keigo was taunting you, he kept his eyes on you for the most part. You sighed, directing your attention to Ochaco and your drunken childhood friend. “Alright, I think I should go too…” You were feeling a bit weird after all.

“Oi…” The crimsoned eyes met with yours. You could feel Katsuki calling out to you. “Why are you even here, nerd?” He narrowed his eyes slightly before standing up from his spot. You noticed he was walking correctly, so he wasn’t that drunk.

“Let’s go.” He commanded, approaching you with that famous walk of his. Katsuki told his captain farewell along with his teammates. He grabbed your hand and made sure that he waited for Deku and Ochaco before heading out of the party with his hand intertwined with yours. This is the first time that Katsuki ever shown this type of emotion towards you.. Emotion because he hardly explains them in words.

“What the hell were you two doing there!?” He was almost yelling at the two girls. Izuku was clearly out of it. Your friend just looked at Katsuki and sighed. You didn’t want to tell him that this was Izuku’s idea, so you took another approach.

“Oh, I’m sorry, dad.” You had a pretty much sarcastic tone. “I wanted to have a little fun besides studying.” You rolled your eyes at the blonde.

“Tch, that was so stupid of you. I saw the whole thing. You were going to risk your college education over a stupid ass brawl.”

You rolled your eyes yet again. Who was KATSUKI BAKUGO lecturing? He was the main one that was getting into fights whenever you all were out at multiple parties.

“Newsflash, asshole! I do what I want!” You were ready to pounce on Katsuki and ready to show him what you were going to do to Keigo.

Katsuki snarled, yanking you towards him as you two walked. He placed his arm under yours so that you wouldn’t snatch away from him.

“You guys are staying with me for tonight and I don’t want to hear shit about it.” The blonde glanced toward Deku and Ochaco before heading towards the apartment buildings.

[invaderdoom78]

Fright Twilight (this is the dumbest title, but I'm going with it)

Peter knew he’d fucked up the moment he had fallen through the trap door that lead down to Jerry's basement lair; especially once he realized that there were no obvious ways of escape in plain sight, no windows to break through, no visible stairs leading back up to the main floor, and no doors with a brightly lit exit sign flashing above it. Maybe if he’d bothered to track down Charley and bring him along as backup the lack of an obvious escape route wouldn’t be as much of a problem as it was now, but the moment he’d learned who had killed his parents the only thing he could think of was avenging them. Grabbing his shotgun and flashlight Peter quickly scanned his surroundings before slowly walking forward, weapon at the ready. Taking a deep breath the hunter stepped into a narrow, barley lit hallway. He’d barely made it halfway down when an arm suddenly reached down from the ceiling, grabbing him by the front of the shirt, and throwing him down the hall into a wall. Crying out in pain Peter grabbed the back of his head, feeling around for any injuries or blood, as Jerry fell from where he had been hiding in the shadows of the ceiling. “My, my look at how you’ve grown” Jerry said, looking Peter up and down “you’ve got your mother's eyes. So tell me. Did you come here to kill me?” There was a pause as he held his arms open in a come at me gesture “well, good luck” Scrambling back up to his feet Peter leveled his shotgun and fired at the vampire several times, missing everytime “you know, I noticed something weird about you” he started slowly walking towards Peter “Stay back!” Peter said, desperately trying to hit the vampire “You smell like a vampire, but you’re mortal. Tell me, did you fuck one of us?” “Fuck off!” Peter growled through gritted teeth, finally managing to hit Jerry in the shoulder “Am I right?” Jerry asked, smirking as he watched Peter tumble backwards off a small drop off Groaning Peter propped himself up on his elbows and looked back up at the vampire as stood at the edge of the stoop, looking down at him, chuckling. “I gave you a chance to live” Jerry said, finally hoping down to where Peter was, still lying on the ground “you screwed it up, so now I’m going to kill you and no one can help you” “Newsflash, asshole” Alec said, he and Jane having appeared out of thin air, standing where Jerry had just been “he has back up” he then used his powers to disable the other vampire “Alec? Jane?” Peter asked, frantically looking from one twin to the other He had seen the two a handful of times before but there was never much conversation that happened between them. Alec would occasionally attempt to have a polite bare bones conversation, but Jane never said anything to him, just looked at him with less and less malice each time they met. While this was happening, Jerry was looking back and forth from Peter to the twins trying to figure out who these two vampires who’d just invaded his territory were and just how the vampire hunter knew them. “Enough” Aro said, having just appeared next to the twins, signaling for Alec to stop With a small smile gracing his face Aro walked up to Peter. “What the hell are you doing here?” Peter asked once Aro was directly in front of him “Getting you out of trouble. As usual” Aro said, holding out his hand for the vampire hunter to take “get up, we’re leaving” “No one is going anywhere” Jerry said as Aro pulled Peter back to his feet “he’s my prey and I am going to suck him dry” Turning around Aro faced Jerry, half standing in front of Peter “This mortal belongs to me and scum like you will never taste his blood” turning to look at Jane and Alec he gave them a small nod “leave him to my people. Let’s go” Since her brother’s powers hadn’t taken full effect yet Jane had decided to use the moment to her advantage watched with a small smile as Jerry fell to the ground in agonising pain. “By the way” Aro said as he and Peter reached the hall that would take them back to the room Peter had fallen through the floor into “I met your friend on the way here” “What friend?” Peter asked, having no idea who he could possibly be talking about “Oh” Aro said as Charley came running down the hall “there he is” “Charlie” Peter asked, looking over the young man “Peter?” Charley asked, lowering his crossbow only to immediately raise it again once he spotted Aro “What are you doing here?” Peter asked, staring at the crossbow “... are you trying to kill this bastard too?” “Yeah” Charley said, glancing over at Aro every other second “is that why you’re here too?” “Yeah” “Looks like Jerry has been a busy vampire” Aro said, in a rather monotone voice Once Alecs powers had finally kicked in, it had numbed the effects of Janes powers enough for Jerry to get back to his feet. “Blah blah blah” Jerry mocked, standing up straight “I’ll die of boredom before any of you even try to kill me” “Then die, motherfucker!” Charley exclaimed, whipping around to use the shotgun he’d had strapped to his back to shoot a hole into the ceiling above them, a bright beam of sunlight shining through “Nice try” Jerry said, after slipping around the beam of light “How about this” Peter said, pulling the steak launcher off of his hip, aiming it right at Jerry’s heart, only to have it backfire when he pulled the trigger “That’s all” Jerry chuckled “lame” “Fuckin’ ebay!” Peter growled through gritted teeth, hitting the side of the barrel in an attempt to unjam it “Uh” Alec said, when Aro rejoined him and his sister “should I…?” Aro raised his hand slightly and shook his head “ok” “I’ve got a plan” Charley said, pulling the ski mask that was attached to his outfit over his head and face “do you have your lighter?” “So that’s what that smell is” Peter said, pulling out his lighter “you ready?” “Yeah” Charley said, adjusting his goggles so they were secure against his face Rolling the flint under his thumb Peter slowly reached for Charlie's pant leg, the flame catching on a pocket flap before quickly spreading across the gasolene soaked clothing. Grabbing and opening the spring snap hook that was attached to his belt, Charley charged at Jerry, tackling him to the ground and clipping the hook onto the vampire’s belt loops. Thus leading to an almost play by play of what had happened in the movie; the flames quickly spreading over the vampires body in his attempt to shake Charley off of him, slaming both of them into as many objects and walls as he could before he found himself dead center in the middle of the beam of sunlight Charley had created earlier, accelerating the burning effect of the fire. Grabbing the steak that he’d hidden in his waistband and used it to stab the vampire in his now exposed heart. Letting out a shrill shriek Jerry seemed to explode as his body turned to ash and Charley was left laying unmoving on the dirt floor. Ripping off his jacket Peter ran over to Charlie, throwing his jacket on top of the young man’s body, using it to smother the remaining flames as Jane joining him at his side curious as to whether or not the other vampire hunter had survived. “Charlie!” Peter exclaimed, pulling the goggles off of Charile’s face “wake up, Charlie” he stated gently slapping the side of the younger mans face “come on!” “Hey, buddy” Charley said weakly, slowly opening his eyes “Impressive” Jane muttered under her breath “You scared me, you little shit” Peter said, before leaning down to kiss Charley causing the twins to look at each other before glancing over at Aro “Oh my” Aro said softly, swallowing the small lump that had formed in his throat

[penzyroamin]

LITERALLY ANY PAIRING BUT DAVEY AS A METICULOUS "I WORK WITH NO ONE EVERYONE DRAGS ME DOWN I'M JUST THAT SMART" ASSASSIN I AM,,,,,, INTERESTED,,,,

i. love. you.

okay so, some quick warnings for mentions of death, poison, and pedophiles. (in the context of them getting killed.) this could have been a lot darker, but im me and therefore didnt write anything graphic. if anyone reads this and finds anything, they’d like me to tag, just say the word and i will!

David could admit that he had a flair for the dramatic. But his choice of career had nothing to do with it– it was just difficult to find work in the current economy.

He could be worse, he could be one of those people who just killed anyone. Sometimes people just fucking deserved to die, and that was why David was doing what he did.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when he heard a loud thump and opened the door, squinting through the crack at the man laying on the ground, then shut the door quietly and made his way out of the house.

Just as he was about to open his car door, checking both directions to make sure that no one was around, someone called after him.

“Wait!”

He whipped around and immediately exhaled upon the realization that whatever asshole decided to interrupt his getaway didn’t seem threatening.

“David Jacobs?” the interrupting asshole said, and, well, that complicated things.

David stared at him for a second, then pointed at the passenger’s seat. “Get in the car.”

Years of being in charge of a little brother apparently made David commanding enough that the guy got into the car in seconds, and David huffed and drove away.

“I’m Jack Kelly,” Mr. Interrupting Asshole said after a while, and David gave him a deadpan look before he turned back to the road.

“I didn’t ask.”

“But you’ll need to know!” Jack said, grinning in a way that let David know he had no clue what he was getting into.

“Why?” David asked, making a sharp turn onto the freeway.

“Plumber says I should be your partner.”

David nearly drove off the road. Of fucking course she was involved.

Jack seemed to sense how David had been caught off guard. “Yeah, she’s a friend of mine. She thinks you could use some help with staying completely off-the-radar.”

David wrinkled his nose. “I’m legally dead.”

“But you’re not subtle.” David scoffed, and out of the corner of his eye he could see Jack raise his eyebrows. “You’re wearing a three piece suit.”

“I’m blending into the upper classes!”

“You always drive the same car.”

“If you think I’m disposing of this car, you’re wrong. If it’s good enough for Bond, it’s good enough for me.”

“Are you really comparing yourself to James Bond?” Jack scoffed, and David was tempted to pull over so he could glare at him without any danger.

“I’m fucking better than Bond. Does Bond get paid good money to kill pedophiles? I think not.”

Jack sighed. “Plumber just said that if you don’t want to be recognized, you’ve got to have someone watching your back.”

Goddamn Katherine. David let her help one time, and then she started dating his sister and trying to get him to meet people. Newsflash– when one legally dies at age nineteen and proceeds to take on twenty-seven fake identities, dating probably isn’t the most brilliant idea for them.

And here she was, trying to give him an unneeded and annoyingly attractive sidekick of sorts. He didn’t need a sidekick.

David bit the inside of his cheek. “This is hard to say.”

“You need me.”

“Not need,” he said, affronted, and Jack grinned.

“You think I’m awesome and you’ll totally let me be your partner.”

“You’re strictly here for convenience purposes,” David corrected. “This does not mean I hate you any less or that I am any less brilliant and capable.”

“Tell that to your burning warehouse.”

David shot a mournful look over his shoulder at what was become a smoking speck on the horizon, surrounded by fire engines. “She was a good hideout.”

Jack pretended to pour out a glass. “So, partner, what’s our next task?”

“Hey, now. You’re a sidekick and strictly a sidekick.”

“I saved your ass. I’m your partner.”

“Sidekick!” David said, and Jack just laughed loudly as the light turned red and David sped forwards, far away from worry.

“So,” Jack said, far too peppy for nine in the morning and surrounded by deadly substances, hopping up onto the counter next to David, “what’re we using?”

David capped the bottle, taking off his goggles. “First off, please wear gloves in here. Second, poison. His wife, who hired us, makes him a drink every evening. It gets slipped in there, he’s out, we sneak the wife and kid out to the aunt’s until the police find the body.”

“Dope. What kind of poison?”

David gave him a critical look. “You have a truly morbid obsession with this.”

“It’s the art of killing awful people, what’s not to love?” David wasn’t quite sure if Jack was kidding, but it was still mildly disturbing. It was how David made a living, but it wasn’t like he was thrilled by the prospect of deadly poison.

“A mix of my own,” he said eventually. “Colorless, odorless, doesn’t dilute anything that it’s put in. After forty-five minutes, basically undetectable, but always deadly.”

Jack tilted his head. “You invented this?” David hummed in affirmation. “Damn.”

“Thank you?”

“You’re like some sorta mad scientist or shit.”

David tried to pretend like he knew whether or not that was a compliment.

“Why do you do this?” Jack asked quietly, and David knew that that conversation would last longer than he would have liked it to. “Besides money,” Jack added, in that mildly haunting way he’d started guessing what David was going to say.

David exhaled slowly, looking up at the stars. They were staying in a campsite in California that night, in between jobs and looking for a nice place to spend the night. David was a city person– he wished that he was able to spend more time in high-up apartments and fancy restaurants– but he liked being where he was. It was quiet, and more peaceful, even with Jack there.

(Especially with Jack there?)

“I guess because there are people that the world would be better off without.”

Neither of them spoke for a while, sitting in silence while the moon advanced across the sky.

“I heard about people who do it for the money or because someone’s different or because they don’t care enough to worry about their effect,” Jack said, spaces between the words sometimes like he was worried about saying the wrong thing. “I never heard about anyone like you.”

“Is that good or bad?” David asked, only slightly joking. Jack turned to look at him, his eyes seeming to scan over and analyze and understand each inch and minute and semblance of David’s being within seconds.

Jack paused. “Good, I think. You… you do things for the right reason.”

They stayed in the position that they were in, inches away from each other and both thinking so hard that their thoughts practically buzzed in the air as if they were electric, until Jack laughed breathlessly and closed the last few inches to kiss him.

“Soooooo,” Sarah said, insufferable even from hundreds of miles away, “is my girlfriend the most brilliant of geniuses ever or what?”

“Your girlfriend,” David said, looking around him at the few people bold enough to brave the heat and move sluggishly around town, “is just as stubborn as you.”

Sarah laughed in that way of hers that was always somewhere between a giggle and a cackle. “That’s how I know that we’re meant to be. It’s a match made in the stars.”

“Sure, Saz.”

He could feel her smiling through the pay phone. “So you totally love him?”

David looked at Jack, who was leaning against the phone booth, smiling widely at David and holding a fresh watermelon from the farmer’s market like it was a child.

“I think I’m going to keep him around.”