#like mourning of the concept of an ideal as a gay person the way someone disowned by their family might mourn the family ideal that both | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

stinkbeck · 3 months ago

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my aunt made me realize i’ve been accidentally making friends with all these old man republicans because i grew up with dean winchester and figured we all knew masculinity was a kind of like fun performance. like we all like cherry pie bc it’s like the closeted macho gay guy’s favorite thing. we like brooding and leather and vintage cars because it signifies the inner struggle of gay/not gay with an emphasis on being filial. my fuckin bad!!! all these guys are straight and hate me!!!!

#case closed at least. i used to be like ‘wtf is going ON! how does this keep happening!!!’#like growing up i just assumed patriotism=bad but americana=gay semi-ironic (bc there’s like all these moral/social layers involved) art #like americana for me was like the acknowledgment that there was no good US ideal and it was the sort of tongue-in-cheek mourning of it #through performance which also mimics being closeted/questioning #like mourning of the concept of an ideal as a gay person the way someone disowned by their family might mourn the family ideal that both #doesn’t exist and would be horrifying and unfair #like it’s an acknowledgment that there is no national identity #so any acknowledgment of it is an ironic rebellious way of showing that you understand it doesn’t exist #and there’s also like this earnest component to it too where it’s sort of like ‘hey dad. don’t i look like the perfect son? can’t i come #back now?’ and it’s like both sardonic and earnest #anyway i'm realizing i thought these guys had thought about all that but really they were just bigots lmao #me looking at a guy in an ACDC shirt: whoooaaaa i am LOVING the dedication you have to your gender performance haha doesn't america #just take the light out of your eyes? the chasing of it sure is futile and morally bankrupt huh?

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