#like maybe stop talking….and then i don’t like i already overthink everything i say LET ME MAKE LIFE EASIER ON MYSELF BUT NOOOOO

[merevide]

me trying to convince myself to not be clingy or weird or strange or offputting or odd or delusional or myself or

[secretlocket]

chris helps sunshine!reader prepare for her christmas party.

“…kid's tryna take his sweater off again."

the sound of your boyfriend's voice halts your overthinking, the worrisome thoughts that were invading your mind pushed back as you make your way over to him and pretzel, your puppy, who's still not thrilled about the christmas sweater you put on him.

you stand there watching as chris gently grabs pretzel’s paws, preventing him from scratching off the sweater once more. the puppy lets out a low whine, his small tail thumping on the floor in protest.

"he’s really not a fan of that sweater, huh?" chris jokes lightly, still trying to keep a hold of the squirming puppy.

“maybe i should’ve gone with the plain one instead of this snowflake monstrosity,” you mutter, adjusting pretzel’s sweater while he wriggles dramatically beneath your hands.

chris chuckles, leaning against the couch as he watches him fuss. “nah, i think it’s cute. but, you know, if you’re this stressed about the kid and his clothes, maybe we should talk about the party instead.”

that’s all it takes to send you spiraling. “oh my god, don’t even get me started on the party!” you groan, standing up and starting to pace. “chris, i’m so nervous i feel like i’m gonna throw up. what if nobody shows up? like, what if nobody comes and i’m just standing here, with all this food and decorations, completely humiliated? i’ll never live it down. never.”

chris watches you with a small smile tugging at his lips, though his eyes are soft with understanding. “hey—” he says, stepping in front of you and gently placing his hands on your shoulders, halting your pacing. “that’s not gonna happen.”

you stop and look at him, your face still scrunched with worry. “you don’t know that,” you mutter, your voice small.

“yeah, i do,” he insists, his tone calm but firm. “y’know why? because i’ll be here. so will nick and matt. they wouldn’t miss it. and your friends? they’re definitely coming, too. you’ve been talking about this party for weeks—they’re not just gonna bail. everyone is looking forward to it.”

“yeah, okay, but what if—”

“nope,” he interrupts, squeezing your shoulders lightly. “no ‘what ifs.’ even if somehow the guest list shrinks to just me and my brothers—which it won’t—you’d still have the three of us here eating all your snacks and hyping you up. honestly, that’s already a solid party right there.”

despite yourself, you let out a small laugh, shaking your head. “you’re ridiculous.”

“ridiculously right,” he counters, grinning now. “listen, babe, everyone loves you. they’re not coming to judge your decorations or your food. they’re coming because they want to hang out with you. and i’ll be here the whole time, making sure you’re having as much fun as they are.”

you pause, his words lingering in the air, and let them settle in. deep down, you know he’s right—he’s always right when it comes to things like this.

“i hate when you do that,” you say softly, the corners of your mouth twitching upward.

“do what?” chris grins knowingly. he’s like the perfect mix between a gremlin and a guardian angel.

“make me feel better about things i’ve already spent hours freaking out over,” you reply, shaking your head. “it’s like you’re always two steps ahead of me, waiting to remind me that i’m overthinking everything.”

he shrugs, his hands still resting lightly on your arms. “mmm, s’not that hard. i just know you. you’re always so focused on making sure everyone else is happy that you forget to let yourself enjoy it, too.” chris also a chronic overthinker himself, that’s why it’s so easy for him to catch you whenever you’re slipping off the edge.

your chest tightens, but not in the way it did earlier. this time, it’s warmth spreading through you—a reminder of how lucky you are to have him in your life. “you’re always looking out for me,” you say softly, meeting his eyes. “i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

chris tilts his head, his expression softening. “you’d be fine, yn. you’re strong, even when you don’t feel like it. but i’m glad i get to be here, y’know? to remind you of that.”

you reach up, placing your hand over his, and give it a gentle squeeze. “i don’t say it enough, but… thank you. for everything. for just…being you.”

he leans in, pressing a quick kiss to your temple, his grin returning. “anytime. now, let’s finish decorating this place and getting the snacks ready. i don’t know about you, but i am not impressed by the lack of pepsi in your fridge. that shit needs to be fixed, like, immediately. we can actually have some stuff doordashed if you don’t feel like going out? or i can finish decorating while you run out…”

you laugh, and for the first time all day, it feels like the stress is finally melting away. chris always has a way of doing that—of reminding you to breathe, to focus on what matters, and to not let your own happiness get lost in the shuffle.

but unfortunately, while you two were distracted earlier, pretzel found himself having a bit too much fun messing around with the ornaments, a specific one catching his eye—a red, sparkling, biscuit shaped one.

the sound of frantic rustling from the living room catches both your attention, and you whip around to see pretzel once again yanking on one of the branches like it’s a game of tug of war.

“hey—hey!” chris yelps, trying to get the small puppy to back down, but it’s no use. with one last triumphant tug, the tree gives a mighty sway before toppling over, ornaments scattering everywhere.

messages from brie 🗯️ : …wanted to write a cute lil christmas blurb but something tells me that this is well over 100 words—my bad !! just wanted to get a feel for these two with au & test out my writing after having such a looooooong break from it. anyways i hope you all enjoy this !! was very fun to work on <3

✷ tags : @sugrhigh @et6rnalsun @eternaldecisions @sirenedeslily @freshloveee @nickssidewitch

[viranellee]

you'd never guess (i'd never know)

synopsis: the only thing eddie roundtree likes about billy dunne is his younger sister.

warnings: smut, dirty talk, swearing, unprotected sex (reader is on the pill, but it's never mentioned)

a/n: the lack of eddie smut on here is appalling

⁠ ♡

“Where are you going?”

Frozen in your tracks, you slowly turn around and meet Eddie’s still sleepy but inquisitive gaze, and as his eyes look you over from head to toe, it morphs into a distinctive shade of lustful. You allow yourself the liberty to admire him as he does the same to you - unguarded and vulnerable in his half-awake state, the nest of tangled light brown hair on top of his head, his naked body painted with love bites underneath the white hotel sheets.

You want to kiss him.

“Sweetheart, c’mon. Come ‘ere.” He tries coaxing you, but you know the rules by now. No matter how sweet the temptation is, no matter the things his deep, husky morning voice does to your insides, no matter the way your heart threatens to beat out of your chest everytime you lay eyes on him, you need to be unfailingly secretive about this, whatever it is, between you two. Otherwise the deadly tornado of a man your brother Billy is will turn it into ruin with a single flick of his hand.

Even still, it seems that you’re the only one rightfully worried.

"Eds, I have to leave, you know this.”

Something hardens in his gaze for a moment, but it quickly slips away. It pains you to watch it. You lean down to kiss his cheek in an attempt to make him feel better, but he turns his head around, capturing your lips with his. You gasp and instinctively fist your hands into his hair as he rearranges you to sit on his lap. There’s something desperate about the way he holds you and kisses you this particular morning and it sets everything in you on fire. You moan into his kiss despite your brain screaming at you to get the fuck up and leave before anybody finds out you’re not in your room. Eddie seems to sense your overthinking, as he usually does, and slips his cold hands underneath your blouse, letting his long fingers trace your spine, trying to soothe you.

"Focus on me. Don’t think about anything else.” Eddie instructs and you suddenly feel lighter.

You kiss him again, a silent thanks for bringing you back to the present, and it’s his turn to moan as he presses you down on his hard-on.

"A couple of kisses and I’m already rock hard like a fuckin’ teenager. Jesus, the things you do to me.” He mutters, more to himself than you, but the words still manage to leave their impact on your nether regions.

“Eddie, Eddie…” you pant as his mouth begins to place greedy kisses down your neck. “We’re…we’re going to be late for breakfast.”

He laughs against your skin and you swear you’ve never felt something so good.

“I’m already having my breakfast, sweetheart, and it’s much better than the shit they serve down there.”

Fuck.

---

“Anyone got any idea where Eddie and my sister are?” Graham asks his friends, in the midst of swallowing his piece of omelet.   

Warren shrugs.

“Eddie’s probably still sleeping. I mean, when has he ever shown up for breakfast on time? Let the guy get some sleep, man.” 

Graham nods a couple of times, deeming the explanation logical. It doesn't stop him from thinking about the person left out from it.

"Yeah, sure," he starts "but my sister always shows up. I...I don't know, maybe she slept in this time, but maybe I should go up and check." 

Karen suddenly pipes in from her place next to Graham, putting her hand on his thigh. 

"Don't. For we all know, she's just sleeping in." She says, looking at Warren from across the table pointedly, who takes the hint and nods reassuringly at Graham. "And you know how she gets when someone wakes her up. Let her rest." 

"But what if she's hungry when she wakes up?" 

Karen sighs, closing her eyes for a couple of seconds. Warren inhales sharply, a tell-tale sign of him holding in his laughter. 

"Graham. She isn't an infant. I'm sure your sister is fully capable of getting breakfast for herself." She says, but he still doesn't look entirely convinced.

"Yeah, but I don't want her to be alone." Graham pauses. "I don't want her to feel lonely, y'know." 

"Hey, chill man. She and Eddie wake up around the same time anyway, they usually get breakfast together, don't they? I really don't think there's anything to worry about." Warren adds, as he takes the last bite of his P&J sandwich. 

Graham silently leans back in his chair and Karen takes the opportunity to change the subject.

"Anyway, uh, how's Lisa, Warren?" 

KAREN SIRKO: I knew she and Eddie were fucking from the moment I saw them together. 

WARREN ROJAS: For the record, I had no idea they were fucking. 

GRAHAM DUNNE: [sighs] Can we not talk about this, please? 

---

"Yeah, just like that. Fuck, you look so good bouncing on my cock like that." 

You don't know how long you two have been going at it. What you do know, however, is that Eddie Roundtree, the insatiable sex maniac, has already put you through five different positions and this is the sixth one.

"Eddie, I…I don't think I can..." You start saying as you feel your strength leaving your body, but he knows. He always knows. 

He tightens his hold on your hips and drags you up and down his cock and you have to physically put a hand over your mouth when he hits that spot inside of you. 

"Found it, huh?" He comments, with that goddamn cocky glint in his eye and you would have normally rolled your eyes at him if it weren't for the fact that they were already rolling towards the back of your head. 

"Shut...up!" You pant, and he smirks. As soon as you see that smirk, you involuntarily tighten around him. Eddie groans when he feels it and you lean down to kiss his Adam's apple, and then - him. He cups the back of your neck with one large hand and you shiver.

"I'm, I'm close. Eddie, fuck!" You barely manage to stutter out and he goes even faster, the sounds of skin slapping against skin echoing throughout the room. He presses a sweet kiss to your collarbone and immediately goes back to whispering filthy things into your ear.

"Cum for me, love. Cum on my cock." He urges, breathless, something swimming in his eyes you've never seen before, and you do just that. 

You think you might have screamed. You don't know. All you remember is Eddie.

You hide your face in his shoulder, sensitive and exhausted - he cums shortly after, your name on his lips like a prayer. You sigh when you feel him soften inside of you. He falls back on the pillows and you fall along with him, head on his chest and his hand playing with your hair. 

It's comfortably silent after that, so silent in fact, that for a second you think Eddie might have fallen asleep. You tilt your head upwards to place a kiss on his jawline, but you find him already staring back at you, an uncharacteristically contemplative look on his gorgeous face. 

"What?" You question, growing increasingly worried. 

This is it, you think, this is when he ends things. 

My worst fear is coming true.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: Y'know, I've played in front of hundreds of thousands of people. I know what anxiety feels like. But laying in that bed with her, looking at her, was the most nervous I'd ever felt in my entire life. 

"I…" He begins and closes his mouth, as if carefully choosing his words, but doing nothing to ease the pit in your stomach. "Well..." 

You stand up upright, a typical "Dunne frown", as he liked calling it, on your face. 

He should look me in the eyes, at the very fucking least. 

"Oh, is this what you're doing now? Fucking me one last time before you reject me? You've had your fun, is that it?" 

Y/N ROUNDTREE: I do admit that I... misjudged the situation. But when you've been with assholes in the past, sometimes you come to conclusions a bit too quickly. 

Eddie's face scrunches up into a mixture of shock, confusion and slight sadness.

"What?" He asks so loudly that it makes you feel embarrassed. "What in the actual fuck are you on about? Why would you even think that? Sweetheart, I was going to say I love you."  

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: I'll never forget the look on her face, swear to God. [laughs] 

"What?" You parrot back, just as loudly. It takes a beat or two for the words to sink in.  When they do, you start laughing like you've never heard anything funnier. 

Eddie simply looks at you like you've grown two heads. 

"Oh, Eds. Please don't lie to me like this." You cover your face with your hands.

Suddenly, your hands are being gently pulled away - he's staring at you so softly you think you might die. You might have actually died and this is your heaven. It certainly feels like it. 

He whispers your name and you whisper his back. 

"I love you." He says, cupping your cheeks,  and keeps repeating it as if trying to get it through your head. 

"Eddie…" you breathe against his lips. He pulls your bottom lip down with his thumb, pupils dilated like you're his new favorite drug. You might actually be. "Eddie, I lo-"

"SOUNDCHECK IS IN 30 MINUTES, ROUNDTREE, GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE DAMN BED!"  

Fuck.

---

EDDIE ROUNDTREE: She might not have told me she loved me that day, but - [shows wedding ring] - I know. I know.

⁠♡

[ilovehugslikealotalot]

Nine-ing Armor

(not my gif)

sum: Rebecca meets her ‘Shite in Nine-ing Armor’

WARNING: Rupert doesn’t own West Ham, WestHamplayer!r, confessions, r is kinda like Jamie, gay panic, injuries, blood

Rebecca didn’t see this coming, at all.

She sat in her office, barely getting work done due to a certain West Ham player in her mind. Ever since the clubs have agreed to have a women’s league, Rebecca was beyond ecstatic. Now, she just wanted it to go away, she wanted you to go away. Not because she didn’t like you, no, it was the complete opposite.

The way your legs were so perfectly muscular, your arms looked like you could sweep her of her feet even though you were shorter than her. She would’ve loved if your skilled hands just made their way down to her-

“Rebecca!” Keeley screeched, barging into the office with a big scowl, Rebecca jumped, snapping out of her thoughts, “Yes?”

“What the hell is this?!” The woman growled, stomping over to the other blonde desk in fury. Rebecca raised her brow, a signal for the woman to explain, Keeley let out another growl, placing her phone on Rebecca’s fancy glass desk.

It was a text.

Y/n 😉 Hey Keeley! I was wondering if you could tell Rebecca that ‘y/n’s sorry if she’s upset you in anyway’? I want her to know that I meant it but, she doesn’t have to reciprocate it. Thanks! Have a good day :) It was you. After a few weeks of going out, getting to know each other more, you finally caved. You told Rebecca your true feelings during brunch. You really thought she would feel the same after everything but, you thought wrong. Next thing you knew, she was sprinting out the door of the food establishment, leaving you enough to cover the bill. At least she had the decency to do that. She left you, in the middle of brunch, alone, looking ridiculous in the sundress you specifically wore to impress the older woman. You felt horrible. You should’ve just left it alone, how could a woman as fabulous and stunning as Rebecca Welton even consider wanting you? What could you offer her that she didn’t already have?

Rebecca’s face dropped. This could not be happening. She already made a complete fool of herself the first time she met you. Blabbering about anything just to get you to look at her. It wasn’t her fault, there was something about you that made her lose her confidence and melt like a puddle of ice.

Now, she’s made a fool of you. All because she can’t talk properly around you. After you’d confessed her feelings, Rebecca began panicking. She wasn’t ready, at least that’s what she told herself.

She couldn’t talk to you without breaking down, your presence was enough to make her want to tell you her darkest secrets.

Keeley frowned, rounding her best friend’s desk, she would knock some sense into the woman just like she had many times before. “Look, it’s clear you are madly in love with her, why can’t you just say that?” Keeley said, her hands placed on Rebecca’s shoulders. The older blonde shrugged, “Because I’ll hurt her Keeley, I know I will. It’s better that I do it now.” The club owner pushed away opening her laptop once more and typing, Keeley knew better than to meddle in this little affair but, she read the message out loud, hoping Rebecca would listen.

“You and her are worth the chance, you’ll never know if to don’t even try it with her. Screw the press, you said it yourself.” Without another word the younger woman left. Leaving a conflicted Rebecca alone in her self pity. She wondered if this is how you felt. Alone and betrayed.

It was hours until the game between West Ham and Richmond. Yet, Rebecca could feel her heart lurching. Even if the game hadn’t started yet, she knew that the West Ham women’s team was in the building. It made her overthinking every turn and step she took as she walked around. She didn’t know where she was going or what she was looking for, just mindlessly wandering. Maybe she even hoped to see you.

That was when she had stopped in front of the guest lockeroom that she had realized, she was drawn to you. Peeking through the window, she heard footsteps behind her. “Hello, Rebecca Welton is it? We met at the Club Conference a few weeks ago” A voice said, the blonde woman turned around to see the owner of West Ham, the better, new one. Rebecca smiled, “Ah, Diana! What a pleasure, I hope your team have brought their A game.”

The two engaged polite conversation, Rebecca found Diana way more pleasant than some of the owners. It was nice not being the only woman anymore. The lockeroom door burst open, and out came the women all energized. Rebecca didn’t care who won of lost tonight, she just needed to talk to you.

You exited the lockeroom with your team, they hyped you up as you unzipped your hoodie revealing the number 9, flaunting it around. The team sang the ‘We All Follow the West Ham’ chant with pride, Rebecca looked over at you. The twinkle in her eyes was noticeable, even Diana saw it. “You love her, don’t you…?” The woman said softly, crossing her arms as she winked at Rebecca. The blonde woman felt her voice would betray her, settling for a nod instead.

——

The game was exciting, in the first half the score was Richmond 1, West Ham 3. Every time someone would try to get passed you, the effortless moving of your feet managed to swipe the ball. You had this grin all game, it pissed Richmond off badly. Even the players who were benched. It was no surprise that fans had began to compare your mannerisms to Jaime.

The way you had provoked one of the players and acting like it wasn’t your fault, hands up in the air with this smirk.

It turned Rebecca on, especially when the Jumbotron would zoom into you. Man, you looked so good in your kit.

During halftime, no matter how much the Richmond coaches didn’t want to, they had to press that big red button they really didn’t want at first. Their biggest weapon was their player named, Maria Sheridan. The woman was a darn good player, as Lasso would put it.

She just had too much attitude, it would’ve been the best to bench her until she got her act right. That was when Roy realized her attitude combined with yours might make it easier to win.

“It looks like, for the first time in two games, Roy Kent has decided to sub in Sheridan” One of the announcers said in disbelief, the other smirked, “This is going to be one explosive end. We already know how Sheridan and Y/l/n get along.”

They were in fact correct, Maria had stopped you from making 2 goals now, it was ticking you off and everyone knew it.

“She’s really hot in that kit, Rebecca” Keeley nudged the other blonde woman on the arm, she just sighed, “She’s angry because of what happened, I mean look at her on that field!” Rebecca gestured to the Jumbotron that had caught you bending your water bottle in half as the refs called a time out.

You aggressively spat out the clear liquid, throwing the plastic bottle onto a chair. Sheridan was gonna pay, you wanted to get another goal, the score was now even. The team didn’t want to lose, not when they were all so close. The whistle let out its shrill cry and the pitch was back into action.

You were close, so close to the goal, that was when you heard the loud pounding of feet. You tired, even when your body ached, you still ran, just when she had tackled you to the ground, your skin sliding against the turf and your head slamming into her shoe, you had kicked it.

You whimpered as you lay on the ground, you could hear the gasps of the spectators then cheering. You would be embarrassed later, not knowing why they were cheering. The buzzer rang through the stadium as you grasped your shoulder. It hurt from catching you after the impact.

You didn’t realize the red substance oozing out of your head. You noticed Sheridan had gotten up and propped up your head, she was screaming something at you but you couldn’t make it out. It was so loud and…why were the lights so bright?

You could feel the rumbling of feet, you grasped your head wondering why it hurt so badly. You could feel the thick wet liquid on your palm…oh.

Now you smelt the irony substance, it was sickening, you hated blood.

The medical team had brought you to the infirmary, checking you over. By then you had a sense of what happened, hoping nothing was broken, if anything was, you didn’t feel it.

They gave you some pain medication, cleaned up the burn and the small gash on your head. There was a bruise on your shoulder where you had landed. Lucky you.

Maria walked in with an apologetic look, “I’m sorry, y’know for being like that on the field, you alright?” She asked, softly sitting down next to you as you caught your breath. “It was a footing accident and I’m sorry, if it make you feel any better you’ve ruined my new boots” she laughed softly. You shook your head, you knew it was, someone her level wouldn’t mess up that badly, not if she completely lost her brain. “I thought I should tell you, your girlfriend went complete psycho on me but, I deserve it.” You raised a brow, “What girlfriend?”

“Uh, Rebecca?”

Oh, right. Your cheeks heated up quickly, rivaling the color of dried blood on your hands. Noticing it, you got up to wash the blood off. Maria watched you, “She wants to see you, she’s out there having a mental breakdown, weeping about how she’s stupid for something. You want her to come in here?” The Richmond player would make a good friend, maybe some day the both of you could get passed your differences.

Nodding, you sent her a smile, “You’re not all bad, Sheridan.” The other woman smirked, “Don’t get all sappy on me, still have to beat you during the championships.” She left without another word, missing your shocked expression.

That means you had made it in…

You felt overly happy with yourself, scrubbing off the rest of the blood on your face. “Darling?” Rebecca called out, her voice was always like honey, softer than silk.

“Why’d you do it? Run out on me like that.” You asked, trying to get the blood from under your finger nails. You heard her sigh, “I was scared, I haven’t loved somebody this much since…I don’t even know how long.” She chuckled bitterly, coming up behind you she stopped a little bit out of arms reach. “I understand if you don’t want me but, I can’t promise you that I’ll stop loving you.”

With a shaky breath, you shut the water off turning to her, “I do want you, Rebecca. That’s what makes it so hard to be mad at you, just promise me something” You turned to her, not expecting the tears stains and smudged mascara. She really had been crying, her face was a little red too. “Don’t let the media define you, you’re worth more than all of the diamonds on this world and more…”

“I promise.” She sniffled, looking at you with hurt eyes, she’d struggled a lot in her life. You could tell from how she carries herself. “Then I forgive you, stupid idiot…” You smiled, walking up to her and smashing your lips onto hers.

“You’re a real shite, you know that?” Rebecca laughed, pulling you closer as she wiped the new formed tears, except now, they were happy tears.

———

This was in my drafts as well, I thought I’d release when I had time! This was one of my very first fics that I’ve written! I drafted it for revision and never released it, hope you like it!

Not proofread :)

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 80

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe: Military School

Words: 5K

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Saturday, April 16; 5:30 PM - Porto Airport.

Here we are, in Porto. I can hardly believe it. I mean, I'm from Portugal, but I've never been here. It's always been a city I've wanted to visit, and here I am. Lucy smiles at me to reassure me.

"Are you ready?"

"As if I had a choice."

She laughs softly and steals a kiss. She's lucky I love her madly. In a few minutes, we're going to get off the plane and meet her parents. Despite her teasing, I can tell Lucy's been nervous since yesterday. She gave me a little rundown of what to expect, and honestly, I have no idea how to act.

"I love you. Don't forget that."

"I know."

We exchange a smile, and we walk hand in hand down the disembarkation corridor. My hands are sweaty. There are people all around us. When we reach the hall, I let Lucy take the lead in looking for them, as I've never seen them. All I know is that her father is really tall and her mother have white hair.

"I see them! Are you coming?"

"I'm right behind you."

She guides me while I keep looking around for them. I finally smile when I see Alexia running toward us. I barely have time to let go of my girlfriend’s hand to catch her in my arms.

"You’re finally here!"

I let out a sigh. I had forgotten they arrived before us. That’s great news.

"Hey. I’m so relieved to see you."

"Me too! I have so much to tell you."

"Really? Did you have a good week?"

I almost forgot she spent the week with Jenni and her sister. I imagine she has lots to share.

"It couldn’t have been better. And you? You look like you got some sun."

"A little, yes," I giggle.

I glance over her shoulder to see Lucy standing next to her parents and Jenni. I smile especially when I see her in the arms of a woman I assume to be her mother based on her appearance.

"You’ve already talked to them, I guess?" I ask Ale.

"Yeah. Your mother-in-law is a bit... I don’t know. Intimidating? She’s something else."

"Thanks, Ale. That’s really reassuring," I mock.

"Sorry," she laughs. "Just giving you a heads-up."

I nod. Anyway, Lucy already warned me that her mother would be the one to intimidate me the most with her cold demeanor. In a way, it reminds me of Lucy when we first met. She was the same, so I guess it’s not insurmountable.

"Her dad, on the other hand, is adorable. He hasn���t stopped chatting with us."

I glance at him. Once again, Lucy warned me not to judge by appearances. He reminds me of my dad, but even more impressive.

"That’s something, at least."

"Come on, I’ll go with you through this tough moment. We’ll chat later."

I nod. I can’t run away forever. Alexia links her arm with mine to guide me. I let her. I’d rather do that than have time to overthink. Lucy smiles immediately when she sees us. Ale lets go of me when my girlfriend reaches out her hand. I take it and don’t hesitate to snuggle against her.

"Mom, Dad, this is Ona, my girlfriend. Ona, this is Diane , my mother , and Kim, my father."

"Hello," I say timidly. "I’m happy to finally meet you."

"And we are too. Lucy has told us a lot about you. Don’t be shy around us. We’re glad Lucy’s brought someone home."

"Well, that puts a lot of pressure on me."

The words slipped out, but they seem to amuse her father, who catches me off guard with a hug that tenses me up. Lucy smiles with amusement beside me. Maybe this trip won’t be as bad as I feared. Well, except for her mother, who has been staring at me the whole time. Lucy’s father saves me from having to approach her by suggesting we hurry home. Lucy kisses my temple, wrapping her arm around my shoulders as we walk.

"You’re doing great, honey," she whispers. "You’re perfect. Just keep being yourself, and everything will be fine."

Her words give me the strength I need for what’s ahead. The non-interaction with her mother bothers me a bit, but I suppose I’ll have to get used to it for now. Lucy said not to expect much from her at first.

"You all must be starving," her father says as we head toward the exit after collecting our bags.

"Oh, yes, you’re not kidding," Jenni replies. "I’ll be glad when we’re home."

"You’ll have to wait a bit. We invited your parents for dinner tonight. We thought it’d bring back good memories."

"What a great idea. Are we having a barbecue?"

"Of course. You’ll help me grill the meat."

"Gladly!"

It seems like everyone’s looking forward to tonight. I really hope everything goes well.

Saturday, April 16; 7:30 PM - Bronze House.

Lucy loved my house, but she didn’t do too badly with hers either. It’s a small house with a lovely, well-kept garden. Like me, they live away from the city, in a very friendly neighborhood. It’s peaceful. You can’t hear anything, even though we’re outside sipping a drink for now. The Dads and Jenni are handling the grilling. Jenni looks a lot like her dad. The mothers are, to my relief, inside preparing salads. I have some breathing room and, more importantly, an escape from my mother-in-law’s watchful eyes. She won’t stop. I feel like she’s scrutinizing my every move. It’s very unsettling. Thankfully, Alexia keeps me relaxed with casual conversation.

"I need to use the bathroom before we sit down," I tell Lucy. "Can you show me where it is?"

"I’ll come with you."

"Oh no, you don’t have to. Just tell me."

"Sweetheart, I’m coming with you," she insists. "We’ll be back in ten minutes," she tells Ale.

"No problem, I’ll check in on the others in the meantime."

She winks at me as we walk into the house. Lucy takes me upstairs, which feels strange at the moment. But then she opens the door to the bathroom, right next to her bedroom. At least now I know I won’t have trouble finding it if I need to during the night.

"Thanks."

"Is everything okay, love?" she asks, stopping me with her question.

"Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t it be?"

"Well, you’re not as cheerful as when we left Lisbon."

"Well… your mother is quite the character, but I’ll be fine."

She chuckles softly, sliding her hands around my waist.

"I know, I’m sorry if she’s making you uncomfortable."

"Oh no, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, and honestly, she’s not making me that uncomfortable. I haven’t even spoken to her yet."

"You’re right," she sighs. "I know she likes to observe before acting, but she’s never been this intense. I’ll say something to her eventually."

"No! Please don’t, Lucy. I don’t want her to think I’m playing the victim or anything."

She sighs heavily. I cup her cheek, and she looks up at me.

"And then what? I’m not going to let her create tension between you two during this trip."

"Well, I don’t know… Maybe she’s waiting for me to approach her? Maybe I should make the first move. What do you think?"

"I’m not sure you’re ready to—"

"Ready for what?" I interrupt. "I think I’ve been through enough to handle a conversation with your mom, Lucia."

"That’s not what I meant," she sighs.

She averts her gaze, clearly thinking it over. I can tell she’s nervous. Either she’s hiding something serious, or she doesn’t think I can handle her mother.

"Okay… If you feel like facing her, go ahead. She’ll appreciate the gesture."

"Thank you."

I smile and kiss her gently.

"Can I use the bathroom now? »

"Yes," she laughed. "I'll wait for you."

She let go of me, and I hurried to take care of what I needed to do. I washed my hands and came back out. Lucy was leaning against the door, looking deep in thought. I stood in front of her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Hey, how are you?"

She shrugged.

"I don’t know. It’s always strange coming back here."

"I can see that. We're far from peace and quiet, huh?"

"Yeah," she chuckled.

I gently stroked her hair, full of love.

"Do you want to talk?"

"No, it's fine."

"Okay... You know I love you, right?"

A small smile formed on her lips.

"Yeah, it seems like it..." she replied playfully.

"You think that’s funny, huh?" I asked, pulling away a little.

"Just a bit."

A small gasp escaped me when she flipped the roles. I found myself pressed against the wall, speechless as she kissed me softly. I kissed her back with growing desire.

"You’ll never love me as much as I love you," she teased.

"Wrong. I already love you more than you love me."

"No, I don't think so," she teased back.

"Girls! We're ready to eat!" Ale called from the stairs.

"Well, duty calls, it seems."

"Yeah, convenient for you."

"I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let’s go fill our stomachs instead of arguing over a debate that, in my opinion, has no possible outcome."

I chuckled softly.

"You're just afraid to lose, that's all."

"Are you done yet? I might start thinking you’re doubting my feelings."

She stepped back, crossing her arms. She was truly adorable when she pretended to sulk. Usually, it was me in that position. I tilted my head, smiling.

"Are you kidding? After our nights at the beach, there's no way I could ever doubt your feelings."

I moved closer to her again, pressing our bodies together. Her hand gliding over my hip caught me off guard, and once again, she had me pinned against the wall. My breath was short, but I let her kiss me once more, tenderly. I felt myself surrender more and more, and I loved it. I had developed an unshakable trust in her. Last week had truly been paradise. For the first time in a long while, I felt like I had fully found myself again. We were in perfect harmony, and nothing made me happier than knowing we’d be living together permanently in just a few weeks. I snapped back to reality when Lucy started to venture a little too far along my neck.

"Lucia," I whispered.

That didn’t seem to stop her, but a pinch on her butt certainly did the trick.

"Hey!" she protested.

"You made me wait for nights last week because we were under my grandfather's roof. Don’t think you’re going to get away with it any easier here."

"And what, exactly? Want me to find us a beach?" she teased.

"You’re ridiculous," I giggled. "We almost got caught more than once last night, remember?"

"Oh, come on, it was kind of fun, wasn’t it?" she teased, letting her hand wander under my shirt.

"Sure, but you weren’t the one half undressed when it happened."

"True," she laughed.

I gave in to her lips one last time. That’s when we were interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing. I panicked a little but relaxed when I saw Ale standing there.

"So, this is what you've been up to this whole time? We’ve all been waiting for you."

"Sorry about that," Lucy laughed. "We’re coming."

"I hope so!"

She turned around without checking if we were following. I was ready to go, but Lucy held me back one more time. I thought we were done.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Forget about all that for now. Don’t worry about my mom tonight. Focus on me, okay? I want us to have a good evening for our first night here. Can you do that for me?"

I took a deep breath but nodded.

"Okay," I murmured. "I’ll try."

"Thank you. I love you, don’t forget that."

I smiled as she kissed me one last time. Now it was time to keep my promise. I just hoped her mom wouldn’t traumatize me.

Sunday, April 17th, 08:30 AM - Bronze House

I groaned as I felt movement beside me. I reached out to place my arm over Lucy’s body, but I realized she wasn’t lying down anymore.

"What are you doing?" I mumbled.

"Shhh, go back to sleep."

"Where are you going?" I grumbled, blinking as she tried to get out of bed.

"I can't sleep anymore. Jenni texted me. We’re going for a run."

I sighed contentedly as she stroked my head. It felt so good. I closed my eyes again.

"You're leaving me alone?"

"We’re just doing a quick loop around the neighborhood. You won’t have to leave here without me, okay?"

"Hmm..."

I heard her words, but I was too tired to process them. Lucy chuckled at my response.

"I love you. See you soon."

I felt her lips against mine. I let out another small groan as she finally got out of bed. I wasn’t able to stop her, but instead, I slid over to her side of the bed, hugging her pillow to me. On the one hand, I hated that she left me alone for her morning runs, but on the other, I loved being able to enjoy her side of the bed in her absence. Without fully realizing it, I drifted back to sleep.

Sunday, April 17th, 09:00 AM - Bronze House

I stretched out in the big bed, realizing I was alone. I vaguely remembered why, thanks to Lucy’s departure. I sighed and reached for my phone. It was still early for me, but I could hear movement in the house. There was noise coming from downstairs. I didn’t know when Lucy had left, but I didn’t particularly feel like waiting for her up here. Knowing Alexia, she was probably still sleeping. She loved to sleep in as much as I did. Or, maybe she had gone with the others. That was a possibility too. I waited for a while, but eventually decided to get out of bed. It was ridiculous to stay there, and with a bit of luck, Lucy’s dad would be downstairs. I took the time to get dressed and make the bed before heading to the bathroom next to the room. I brushed my teeth and fixed my hair before heading downstairs. After all, I was at my in-laws’ house, and the least I could do was look presentable. My feet led me to the kitchen after I noticed the living room was empty. I instantly regretted leaving the bed when I saw that the only person there was Lucy’s mother, who had, of course, already spotted me.

"Good morning," I said, a bit awkwardly.

"Good morning, Ona."

"How are you? Is there anything I can help you with?"

The woman smiled. That was a first. I hadn’t received a smile from her yet. I’d had a pleasant evening yesterday, but I’d had to ignore her to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

"Lucy told us that you don’t particularly like cooking. Maybe you could set the table, if you remember where the silverware is."

I blushed furiously. Lucy had really told them that? We were going to need to have a little talk.

"Y-yes, of course," I stammered.

We’d put the dishwasher away last night, so I remembered perfectly where everything was. I moved toward the kitchen to start looking for the plates.

"So, she was right?" Lucy’s mother asked.

I swallowed hard. Had she painted me as some sort of failure to her parents? I felt embarrassed by the answer I was about to give.

"Yes, it's true. I never really took the time to learn how to cook, but I do help Lucy from time to time since we moved in together. Well, on weekends, at least," I added, unsure of how much she actually knew.

I prefer to stay honest. It’s not by lying that I will gain her sympathy. She doesn’t respond, so I step forward to the table to set down four plates.

“Are you planning to take care of my daughter?”

The question catches me off guard. She stopped what she was doing to look me straight in the eye. I realize she’ll probably judge my answer if it’s not what she expects.

“I understand you might feel uncomfortable with my behavior,” she continues. “But you have to understand, I only have one child. It’s my duty to know if she’s in good hands.”

I take a deep breath. In a way, I’m glad she started the conversation. I would have never had the courage to do it myself. Besides, the question was simple. I just needed to answer from the heart.

“I love your daughter, so of course, I’m going to take care of her. She’s my priority.”

“You love her, huh? So, you’re not with her out of interest?”

“What—what? No!” I reply, offended. “Lucy has given me so much, and I have genuine feelings for her. I would never use her.”

“Really? So there’s no ulterior motive? Not even a financial one?”

I laugh bitterly. This woman is something else. What does she think? I can see that my attitude doesn’t please her, but I can’t help it. I close my eyes for a moment, clench my fists, and collect myself.

“No, none at all,” I reply more harshly than I intended. “If you know so much, I imagine Lucy has also told you about my father’s death... So you should know I inherited everything from him. Even his house in Lisbon, so you can understand that I’m not in need financially.”

I don’t like that she’s doubting our love so much. Plus, forcing me to talk about my father—that’s the last straw. Unexpectedly, her eyes soften, which is rather disconcerting. Up until now, she’s only looked at me with judgment and coldness.

“I did hear about that tragedy. My condolences. I’m also sorry for attacking you like this, but I’m still Lucy’s mother, and I have to protect her. She’s been through enough, but you seem to be good for her.”

Her words make my heart skip a beat. What does she mean by “been through enough”? Is she referring to her relationship with Keira? I don’t know why, but since what Lucy told me last week and how she’s been acting since we got here, I have doubts that it’s just that. Something else must have happened here too.

“I observed you a lot last night. I can see that you make my daughter happy, and after this conversation, you seem like a remarkable young woman. Know that Lucy needs support, even though she’ll never admit it.”

I struggle to hide my surprise. Until now, I never noticed that Lucy needed support. On the contrary, she’s always the one who’s supported me.

“Don’t look so surprised. You’re already supporting her without even realizing it, so keep it up. The only thing I’ll ask of you is to never betray her or break her heart.”

I blink several times. Am I to understand that she’s finally giving me her approval? It touches me in a way, considering the person standing in front of me. I blush despite myself and nod.

“Absolutely not, ma’am. I wouldn’t even think of it. I love her far too much to do something like that. I fully intend to keep Lucy by my side forever.”

She nods calmly, with a small smile.

“Good. I’m trusting you with my daughter, then. Take care of her. And you can call me Diane from now on.”

A weight lifts off my shoulders at those words. The conversation is going well.

“Welcome to the family, Ona.”

Definitely going well. Her words warm my heart. She’s clearly offering me recognition. I smile gently.

“Thank you... Diane.”

“Do you like pancakes?”

“Oh yes, especially Lucy’s,” I admit enthusiastically.

“Well, you’ll have to settle for mine today. But they shouldn’t be much different from my daughter’s since I’m the one who taught her.”

I smile softly and nod. I continue setting the table, and when I’m done, I hear the front door slam. My girlfriend’s laughter and Jenni’s echo in the hallway before they appear in the room.

“Hello!” she says cheerfully.

Her expression shifts to surprise when she sees me here. She wasn’t expecting it. After all, she asked me to wait upstairs. But that was out of the question for me. I wanted to take the opportunity to talk with her mother, and now that’s done.

“Hey,” I greet them.

“Oh, you came downstairs after all.”

“You told her to wait upstairs?” her mother scolds. “I wasn’t going to eat her.”

“Oh, with you, who knows,” Lucy laughs before coming over to hug me. I let myself relax until I catch a whiff of her scent. I grimace and try to push her away, but she holds on tighter.

“You stink,” I point out.

“What? You don’t like my natural scent?” she teases.

“Yes, but definitely not your sweat.”

She laughs before kissing me. Her lips carry me away every time. It’s as if I melt in her arms.

“Everything okay? She didn’t torture you too much?”

“No,” I giggle. “Everything went fine.”

She nods, glancing briefly at her mother, who doesn’t seem concerned about us.

“Are you and your girlfriend staying for breakfast, Jenni?” she asks instead.

“No, I’m heading home. I’m expected there, and I need a shower too.”

“Great idea,” Lucy comments. “We’ll take one as well. See you this afternoon?”

“Yeah, we’ll text to figure something out.”

“Okay, sounds good.”

“See you later.”

She turns around and leaves as if it’s nothing. Something tells me she feels right at home here. She seems very comfortable and well-accepted by my girlfriend’s family. Lucy catches my attention by kissing my cheek.

“Are you done here? Will you join me?”

“Oh, um…”

I blush. I think I understood what she meant earlier when she said “we” to Jenni. I glance at her mother for some sort of approval. She doesn’t seem to care. She’s not even looking at us. I turn back to Lucy, who has a mischievous expression.

“We can’t do that,” I say softly so only she can hear.

“Come on. No one’s upstairs, and we can talk about what happened while I was gone.”

She teases me, playing with the hem of my t-shirt. I shake my head, but Lucy isn’t giving up.

“Mom, will you call us when it’s ready?”

“Yes, go ahead. We’ll call you when it’s time.”

“Perfect, thanks.”

Lucy grabs my hand and leads me upstairs before I have a chance to understand what’s happening. I hardly recognize her. She’s never been this persistent. We arrive upstairs, and she guides me into the family bathroom.

“You’re exaggerating. We can’t do this here.”

"We're not going to do anything. I just want to take a shower with you. Is that too much to ask?"

She tilts her head while teasing the back of my bra under my t-shirt. I roll my eyes but smile nonetheless. She seems to really want this moment, so I give in.

"Just a quick shower, but don’t say I didn’t warn you."

"Thank you, my love. I’ll go get some clothes. You get the towels ready."

She gives me a quick kiss before disappearing into her bedroom. A pretty spacious room, by the way. It’s about the size of our room in Manchester, with fairly neutral colors. Actually, it resembles her apartment’s style a lot—minimalistic, but very pretty and harmonious. I listen to her and go in search of the towels. This room has a bathtub, a shower, and some storage cabinets. I hope she doesn’t get any ideas when she sees the bath... She's been quite playful these past few days. I jump when arms suddenly wrap around me from behind. I didn’t even have time to look before she’s already here.

"Haven’t you taken your clothes off yet?" she whispers.

"I was waiting for you. And honestly, I haven’t even found the towels."

I turn around to face her and also to check if the door is locked, which it is.

"Did you lock it?"

"Of course. Now, undress."

She kicks things off by stripping off her clothes, letting them fall to the floor. Unlike her, I plan on putting mine back on, so I fold them neatly. Meanwhile, she turns on the water and checks the temperature. I feel happy to be getting more comfortable around her. She makes me feel wanted. It's been a long time since I’ve felt that way.

"So, where are the towels?" I ask.

"Right here, look."

She points to a cabinet right next to the shower. I grab two for later. When I turn around, Lucy already has her hand on my waist.

"You're really eager today," I giggle. "What’s going on with you?"

"I don’t know. I just want to spend time with you."

"Quick, remember," I say as she pulls me under the water.

"Promise," she laughs. "Just a shower," she murmurs against my lips.

I smile as she kisses me, closing the door behind her. We try to share the water jets as best as we can. The space is smaller than anything we’ve been in before. Lucy keeps her promise and just focuses on washing me. She takes her time, lost in thought. I know she enjoys doing it, so I don’t say anything. I like it too. The way she looks at me makes me feel like a wonder of the world. It’s so crazy, considering how much I dislike my body.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"Of course," she says, smiling softly. "I’m with you, so everything’s fine."

She says that, but I can tell something’s bothering her. She kisses me, so I stay quiet. I rinse off once she’s done. Now it’s my turn to pamper her. I start with her hair. I smile when I see her close her eyes. Looks like someone really needed this. I understand better why she insisted on having me with her. I take advantage of the moment to kiss her shoulder.

"Don’t start if you want me to stay calm," she mumbles.

"Oh, but you will stay calm. It’s my turn to take care of you."

"Really, hmm?"

She sighs in contentment as I give her a scalp massage. I start to wonder if she’s simply letting go...

"Yes. I know how to do it, and you seem to need it."

"You’re right."

I smile. It’s rare for her to admit things like this, especially so easily. That must mean it’s true.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I whisper.

"No."

"Ladies, dinner will be ready soon," comes the distinct voice of Lucy’s father, interrupting us.

"We’d better hurry up," my girlfriend advises.

"Okay..."

I let it go for now. She really doesn’t seem to want to talk. I get the sense I’m not the only one who’d prefer to escape the past... I finish washing her quickly so we can get out. The last thing I want is to upset Lucy’s parents, even if everything seems to have settled down.

[security-chief-odo]

The Fake Dating Job - Chapter 5

Eliot Spencer x Reader

Previous chapter

Word count: ~2900

Summary: Feelings come out and things get steamy

Warning: smut, if you don’t like it, stop reading once they leave the bathroom and just treat that as a fade to black

• • •

As soon as you make it through the door of your hotel room, you close the door and lean against it, breathing a deep sigh of relief. The tension and embarrassment are no longer as overwhelming now that you’re back alone with Eliot.

The wedding was beautiful but after that ordeal, you’re happy to have a moment to relax, the unearthed feelings have cast a hopefully temporary somber feeling over your evening. You kick off your heels and are about to head to the bathroom to get changed and ready for bed when Eliot reaches out and lightly grabs your wrist, turning you to face him.

In a voice softer than you knew he could speak, he asks, “Hey, do you wanna talk about it?”

“Which part?” you say, deflecting a little, hoping maybe he wouldn’t push it.

“Whichever part has you overthinking everything again.”

You roll your eyes, but know better than to deny it because he will pry further if that’s what it takes. He can be real fucking persistent when something matters to him, and this clearly does, so you cave.

You feel a couple tears escaping as you recap the dreadful conversation with Eliot, and as soon as you’ve said your piece, he pulls you in for a tight hug. Slowly the beat of his heart is the only sound you can hear, then it becomes the only thing you can think. You finally begin to calm yourself fully when he whispers “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, you didn’t say any of that to me.”

“No, I didn’t, but I was here to protect you from his bullshit and I didn’t, and that is on me.”

“It’s fine Eliot.” you pull out of his hug, upset that he feels guilty about any of this.

“It isn’t, not when he hurt you like that.”

“He didn’t say anything I haven’t heard before, nothing I didn’t already know.”

“Now what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Look, he was wrong to say it like that, but he wasn’t wrong about some of the stuff he said. Love isn’t exactly in my future.” You shrug and a troubled look overtakes Eliot’s face as you continue, “Nobody has ever really been into me since him, not for anything serious at least. I know some of it is just the nature of our work, but that doesn’t mean he’s wrong. Even if I could let someone in more, I doubt anyone would want me.”

Eliot shakes his head and reaches for your hand to hold in his as he talks. The warmth of his touch has you almost ready to break into tears again, there’s a vulnerability to this moment that is overwhelming. “Darlin’ anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Even at a moment like this he is always a perfect fucking gentleman. You wished you believed him but you haven’t really been with anyone since James, and he was the best you could do before your baggage got heavier with the weight of what you’ve done with the Leverage team. You’ve helped so many people but it’s hard not to become jaded by seeing so many innocent people get hurt in the first place. It seems so unlikely that you can do better now.

You can’t bring yourself to look him in the eyes, so you’re eyes are glued to the floor as you mumble, “Not really, but you’re sweet for saying it”

Eliot steps towards you and grabs your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes, “I’m not just sayin’ it sweetheart. I know it’s true. You are a brilliant, funny, impossibly kind, absolutely drop-dead gorgeous woman. I may never get to actually have you, but you deserve better than that piece of shit.”

As soon as those words leave Eliot’s mouth he sees the gears turning in your head and realizes what he just admitted. Once the words fully process in your mind you ask, “What do you mean by that?”

Hell, the cat’s already out of the bag, what’s the point in trying to lie now? You may never feel the same but maybe this will at least convince you that you aren’t just loveable, but you are loved. He lets out a deep sigh and lets the words practically spill out, “I mean that I love you, and not just as a friend or a part of the team. I’m in love with you. I know you don’t feel the same, and that’s okay. Even if nothing ever happens between us again, this weekend cemented the way I feel. If you need me to give you space after this, I can ask Nate to avoid partnering us up for a while or –”

“You don’t have to do that,” you assure him, your thoughts running at about a mile a minute.

“It’s ok, I just want to make sure you’re comfortable and I know things could be weird between us for a while. I just want to keep our friendship, which is why I didn’t say anything until now, and I didn’t really mean to say anything tonight but –”

“Eliot.” You say firmly to get his attention, “Shut the fuck up.”

He cocks his head, confused by this response before you step forward, wrapping an arm around his neck and the other hand resting lightly on his chest. Closing the last remaining distance between you, you capture his lips in yours for a brief kiss.

He still looks confused, though far less upset when you pull away, “I love you too idiot.”

He stands before you in stunned silence, the dots slowly connecting in his brain. Now it’s Eliot’s turn to initiate, and he does so eagerly, placing a hand on your waist and pulling your body flush against his own. His other hand tangles itself in your hair, pulling you into a deep, insistent kiss. This one is far less tender than the last as you both are desperate to feel, taste and touch every millimeter you’ve been missing out on.

You pull away and rest your forehead against his and just breathe. After spending all weekend stressed about him finding out, this moment almost doesn’t feel real. You can’t resist savoring this moment that you’ve dreamed of all this time.

Eliot is the first to break contact, “We’ll hopefully have plenty of time for more of that soon, but let’s get ready for bed.”

You groan but begrudgingly follow him to the bathroom. You each work through your nightly routines at the double vanity in the bathroom. Eliot begins with taking off his suit jacket and tie. He rolls up the sleeves of his shirt and undoes the top couple of buttons. You would be lying if you said you weren’t watching him about as much as you were actually getting ready for bed.

Your makeup is off and you’ve brushed your teeth and are now slowly pulling each bobby pin from your hair. Glancing up, you notice Eliot is done with his own routine and is now attentively watching your hands deftly undo the intricate updo.

“Just gonna stand there and watch?” you tease.

He rolls his eyes and comes up behind you to help. “Well I was enjoying the show sweetheart.” He winks at you in the mirror. He frees the last bobby pin from your hair and lays it among the others on the countertop, but he doesn’t move away. In the mirror, you see the way his eyes have softened as he runs his fingers through your hair to check for any bobby pins he may have missed. Or at least that’s the excuse he gives himself for this decision.

His fingers lightly graze the back of your neck as he unclasps your necklace, gingerly placing it on the counter as well. His hands return to the top of your shoulders and glide down to the zipper of your dress. His eyes meet yours in the mirror and he looks up cautiously, “May I?”

You find yourself stuck somewhere between anxious and excited as you eagerly nod your head.

With your permission, he slowly slides the zipper down your back and slides the straps of your dress off of your shoulders. Eliot’s eyes remain locked on yours in the mirror as he softly kisses up your shoulder and up towards your neck. He relishes every slight reaction he observes. This man will be the death of you.

Growing impatient, you slide the dress the rest of the way off, leaving it pooled around your ankles as you are left in just your bra and panties. His eyes trace your body and you can finally see just what kind of effect you have on him as his breath hitches and his eyes darken.

You relax into his warm touch, not breaking eye contact for as long as you can tolerate but your patience wears thin. You turn to face him and pull him to you, you press your lips to his and he quickly reciprocates. At this moment it feels like every interaction you’ve had with Eliot, every thought you’ve had of how this exact scenario might play out were just puzzle pieces that fell perfectly into place to make this perfect image of the two of you, finally together. Nothing has ever felt this right.

He lifts you up to sit on the counter and you feel perfectly at home in his hands. He tangles his hand softly through your hair, gently tilting your head to deepen the kiss. The understated confidence of this small act was practically intoxicating.

Eliot softly bites at your bottom lip, making you moan softly against his mouth. You feel his other hand tighten its grip on your waist at the sound. You pull away from his lips and say his name.You clearly have his undivided attention as he looks at you wantonly. You continue, “I need you.”

He raises his eyebrows teasingly and winks. “Yes ma’am.” And with that he lifts you, wrapping your legs around his hips and he carries you to the bed. Plopping you down onto the bed, he admires you as he stands at the foot of the bed. “God, you’re beautiful, sweetheart.”

Your cheeks flush at the compliment because there’s something about the way he says it that makes you believe it, without even a moment of doubt. You sit up and begin to undo the buttons of his shirt, “I think it’s only fair that I get to see some of you.”

“Oh that’s what this is about? Fairness?” he jokes.

You nod your head enthusiastically, “Absolutely, why? Are you saying I have ulterior motives?”

This earns you a deep belly laugh as he shrugs his shirt off his shoulders. “You know what, baby? I think you just might.”

Eliot lightly pushes your shoulder to get you to lay down and he climbs over you, caging you in. He slowly kisses down your neck as one of his hands snakes its way up your side and rests against your breast, lightly cupping it. You let out a breathy moan and arch lightly into his touch. You’ve wanted this for so long.

He moves his arm behind you to the clasp of your bra. “May I?”

“Yes,” you nod and bite your lip nervously as he expertly unclasps your bra. He watches you attentively as you slide the bra down your arms, discarding it somewhere you can’t be bothered to make note of at the moment. He slides his thigh up between your legs and pulls you to sit in his lap, straddling his thigh.

His hands tightly grip your hips and you rock against his clothed thigh as he kisses you. You can feel his muscles tense beneath you as you grind against him. Eliot trails kisses down your jaw and neck, slowly making his way downward until you feel his lips graze your nipple. Something between a whine and a moan escapes your lips. He roughly runs his tongue over your nipple, then gently nips at it, relishing in your reaction as you buck your hips at the sudden sensation.

He toys with your other nipple, rolling it between his fingers. The sensation shoots straight to your core as you grind your clit against his thigh..He lifts you off of him, depositing you on the bed.He leans over you and captures your lips in his before peppering kisses down your neck, then chest, then belly. He sinks to the floor and pulls you by your thighs to the edge of the bed.

You tangle your hands in his hair as he teasingly kisses your inner thigh, his hot breath against your skin sending a shudder up your spine. He stares up at you, taking in your reaction as he bites lightly at your inner thigh. You arch your back, driving your pussy closer to his face. “Eliot!” you whine.

“Yes, dear?” he says with an amused grin.

“Stop being such a fucking tease and touch me already.” He doesn’t need to be told twice, at least not for the latter half of that statement. He is nowhere near done teasing you. Notwhen it makes you this needy. He pulls your underwear down your legs. He chuckles when your head goes back as he begins to lap at your folds.

He braces your thighs with his strong arms to hold you still. He continues exploring you with his tongue, sometimes delicately rolling his tongue over you and others, desperately lapping at your needy sex. He takes in each breath as he finally gets to learn what actually makes you tick instead of just dreaming about it.

He releases his grip on one thigh and gingerly glides his hand up your inner thigh, smirking as he feels you squirm against him. You whine unintelligibly when his fingers graze your clit.

He pulls away, “What is it sweetheart?”

Hearing the pet name makes you melt. “Please.”

“Please what?” You look at him pleadingly but he doesn’t budge, quite clearly enjoying toying with you as he continues to just barely brush against your clit. “If you want somethin’ sweetheart, you’re gonna have to ask.”

“Please make me cum.” Without a word he buries his face between your legs once again, practically feasting on your juices. His thumb works diligently against your clit and you can feel the pressure building.

Your legs shake as he works you closer and closer to that edge. “Don’t stop Eliot.” And he wouldn’t dream of it. His eyes are fixed on your face as his tongue teases your entrance. Your hands tangle tightly into his hair as you come undone against his lips.He works you through your orgasm as he soaks in every little sound you make, committing them to memory.

You scoot back up the bed and he follows, wrapping his arms around you. You kiss him gently before asking, “Your turn?”

“You don’t have to.” He says, voice laced with concern.

“I know, I want to.”

And for some reason, that turns him on almost as much as everything else that’s happened so far. You flip the two of you over, and he gladly lets you. He unbuckles his belt and slides his pants and underwear off. You roll the bead of precum leaking out over the head with your thumb before lowering your body and taking him into your mouth.

You bob your head up and down his cock, sometimes licking a stripe along the vein on the underside. Before long his breath hitches in his throat and he groans your name, bringing you to a halt. “I’m not gonna last much longer if you keep that up.”

You take the hint and eagerly grind against his cock before letting him slide into you, slowly as you stretch around him. You both are audibly getting more worked up as you rock against each other.

“I’m close,” he sighs, straining to hold back his orgasm. He rubs your clit and before long you are both barely keeping it together. “Cum with me sweetheart?”

You nod, as your second orgasm of the night washes over you. You feel him twitch inside you as you both ride out the high. You collapse next to Eliot and just breathe together for several moments. “That was amazing, Eliot.”

“It was perfect.” he nods, before lethargically getting up and getting a warm wash cloth to clean you both up. “You’re so beautiful.” he mumbles clearly tired but still eager to admire you.

When he comes to bed he pulls you to him and you feel your eyes go droopy with the steady sound of his heart lulling you towards sleep. “We waited far too long to do that.”

His soft laugh rumbles beneath you, “Then we have a lot of making up to do.” He kisses the top of your head and adds, “but not tonight. We still have brunch with your family in the morning.”

You groan playfully as you cuddle up against Eliot and fall fast asleep in the warmth of his embrace.

• • •

Note: Sorry for the 3 months it took to get this out. I got engaged, gave been wedding planning, got a dog, and accidentally picked up an extra job lmao

Thanks for reading! Lmk if you want to join the taglist

Taglist: @mini-kunoichi @javicstories @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky @being-worthy @xkell-bellx @imaginecrushes @sleeplessskeleton @fablesrose @unholyhuntress @wonderlandfandomkingdom @fictional-hooman

[emma23]

The philosophy of laughter:

Jonathan levy x reader

————————————————————————

It was a cold evening when Jonathan first noticed it—the rare, almost mythical sight of you smiling. For months, your expression had been as unreadable as one of his philosophy texts. Always distant, always composed, rarely showing any emotion that hinted at what was going on behind those thoughtful eyes. But tonight was different.

The two of you sat across from each other in his living room, surrounded by books and an unfinished bottle of wine. The conversation had started out, as it always did, in comfortable silence—Jonathan nervously sipping his glass, trying to come up with the perfect intellectual comment to impress you.

“So, what do you think about Kierkegaard’s idea that life can only be understood backward but must be lived forward?” Jonathan asked, almost reflexively, his mind always wandering back to existentialism.

You raised an eyebrow. “That’s deep,” you said flatly, taking another sip of wine. “But I think you’ve already lived enough backward.”

He blinked, caught off-guard. “What do you mean by that?”

You leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms. “You live in your head too much, Jonathan. You analyze everything like it’s some philosophical puzzle. Maybe it’s time you tried living forward for once.”

The corners of your lips twitched upward, and for the first time, Jonathan saw something he had never expected—an actual smile.

He stared, dumbfounded. “You’re smiling?”

You shrugged nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal. “Maybe you’re finally saying something interesting.”

Jonathan let out a short, awkward laugh, still trying to process the moment. “I’ve said a lot of interesting things! I talk about Kant, Hegel, Nietzsche…”

“Yeah, and half the time, you sound like you’re rehearsing for a TED Talk.” You chuckled, and Jonathan’s eyes widened. You were laughing.

“Wait, wait,” he stammered, leaning forward in his seat. “What’s happening here? Did I say something funny? Are you…are you actually enjoying this?”

Your grin grew wider as you took another sip of wine. “Maybe.”

Jonathan blinked rapidly, clearly not used to this. “I don’t understand. You’re always so… guarded. So distant.”

You tilted your head, studying him for a moment. “Maybe I’ve been waiting for you to stop overthinking everything and just be… you.”

He frowned, looking genuinely puzzled. “I am being me.”

“Are you?” you countered, leaning closer, your eyes narrowing playfully. “Because the ‘you’ I’ve seen so far seems more concerned with quoting dead philosophers than living in the moment.”

Jonathan opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. He was completely flustered, unsure of what to say next. This was new territory for him. Uncharted, emotional waters. His brain, so used to dissecting abstract ideas, was now grappling with something much more immediate—and much more terrifying.

“So, what do I do now?” he asked, his voice small, as if afraid of the answer.

You smiled again, this time a little softer. “You could start by asking me how I’m doing, rather than what I think about Descartes.”

Jonathan blinked again, then nodded, as if he’d just received the most profound piece of wisdom. “Right. Right, of course. How… are you?”

You laughed again, louder this time, and it was like music to his ears. Jonathan couldn’t help but laugh too, the sound awkward and nervous, but genuine nonetheless.

“I’m fine, Jonathan,” you said, still chuckling. “I’m fine.”

The moment hung in the air between you both, and for once, Jonathan wasn’t thinking. He wasn’t overanalyzing or quoting philosophers. He was just… there. With you. And it felt strangely liberating.

“So,” he said after a long pause, a small smile of his own forming. “Do you want to, uh, stay a little longer?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Are you inviting me to philosophize some more?”

Jonathan blushed, shaking his head. “No. No more philosophy. Just… us.”

Your smile softened, and you leaned in closer, your face inches from his. “Good. Because I think we’ve had enough intellectual debate for one night.”

And before Jonathan could overthink it—before he could dive into some internal monologue about the ethics of desire or the nature of human connection—you kissed him. It was slow, tentative at first, like testing the waters of a deep, unknown ocean. But then, as Jonathan responded, the kiss deepened, and all the tension, all the unspoken feelings that had been simmering between you two for months, finally broke free.

Jonathan’s hands slid around your waist, pulling you closer, and you let yourself fall into him, the heat between you growing as your lips moved in sync. It was a kiss filled with longing and release, with years of unsaid words and pent-up emotions.

When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless, staring at each other in stunned silence.

“Well,” you said, smirking, “that wasn’t so complicated, was it?”

Jonathan laughed—really laughed, a deep, genuine sound that you had never heard from him before. “No,” he agreed, shaking his head. “No, it wasn’t.”

You grinned, resting your forehead against his. “Maybe there’s hope for you yet, Professor Levy.”

Jonathan’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Maybe there’s hope for us.”

Later that night, after you’d moved to the couch and things had gotten… a little more intense, Jonathan was lying beside you, his arm draped over your waist, his mind still spinning from the turn the evening had taken.

He looked down at you, his eyes soft, a small smile playing on his lips. “You’re really good at this, you know.”

“At what?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Making me question everything I thought I knew.”

You snorted. “Isn’t that your job?”

He laughed, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Yeah, but it’s nice to be on the other side for once.”

You chuckled, snuggling closer to him. “Well, if you ever need a break from overanalyzing everything, I’m here.”

Jonathan smiled, his heart full in a way it hadn’t been for a long time. For once, he wasn’t thinking about what came next. He wasn’t worrying about whether he was doing the right thing or making the right choice. He was just… happy. Content. With you.

And in that moment, he realized that maybe, just maybe, life didn’t have to be as complicated as he always made it out to be.

[bbykento]

I’ll make it up to you - gojo x gn! reader

wc. 1.1k | NOT proofread

contents! angst to fluff, comfort, gojo calls you clingy, neglect, cute nicknames, he does everything to make your anger gone, crying, overthinking, negative thoughts, praise.

you missed gojo so bad.

right now, you were just watching a movie or whatever you could do to occupy yourself. while gojo is out there hanging out with his friends, it’s been awhile since they’ve seen each other. you thought this wouldn’t change anything in your daily life.

but after a few weeks, it’s all he’s been doing. he’s always outside with his friends, barely acknowledging your presence. you get that it’s been quite awhile, but you’ve been feeling neglected.

You weren’t clingy whatsoever (maybe you were) but you missed him so bad. every damn time he came home he’d either be too tired and sleep right away or he’d play video games… with his friends again.

it was the same process all over again. you were getting tired, you were already having a rough week. you needed your boyfriend…

at the moment, it was currently 12:59 am. Where the fuck was your boyfriend?? you decided to text him, worried about his being.

You

baby, where are you? it’s 1 am already, you okay?

baby?

baby?

can you come home already? its kinda late

baby answer me

you were worried, he usually came home from their hangout by 7 pm or even earlier. though why was he taking longer? yes he’s the strongest he can take care of himself yeah yeah but it was your boyfriend. finally after a few minutes (it took 30 minutes) before he responded.

Gojo

js out w my bros dw

wow. he finally responded, in like one of the worst ways ever. he would usually reassure you sweetly that he’s okay and he’d be back quickly in 50+ messages, whenever he’d went out longer than usual. but this? its not him. it was a dry response, maybe someone took his phone?

You

when r u coming home?

baby?

Gojo

can you like stop?

stop being so clingy it’s annoying

im just hanging out w my bros

and im not gonna come home till for a little while

the reason why i hung out with them was to escape your clingy ass

so stfu for a moment

.

.

.

… what the fuck? im clingy? when im just worrying about your wellbeing?? you already had a bad day and just wanna cuddle with your boyfriend but he adds to the stress.

like the petty person you are, you take your things and leave his apartment with teary eyes. if he calls you clingy, might as well distance yourself from him. nobody to wake him up, take care of his drunken state, cook him breakfast, and all that.

….

a week passes by and not a single sign from him. he didn’t bother to text you, call you, go to your apartment, whatsoever. you guys don’t usually fight, and when you do it doesn’t last this long. he would always be to go to you first and apologize.

you were overthinking, maybe you were a burden to him? was he cheating on you? will he break up with you? negative thoughts clouded your mind as you cry your heart out and cuddle your pillow.

before suddenly, a ding comes from your door. was that finally gojo? was he here to apologize and comfort me? you fixed yourself before opening the door, the moment you opened the door it all answered your questions.

Oh. it was just a delivery man…..with a bouquet but instead it was filled with money shaped into flowers, a cute basket filled to the brim with your favorite snacks and food. Till you realize the “delivery man” had snow-white hair..

“gojo..?”

“baby..I’m sorry please? I know it’s not enough but fuck.. im sorry, im sorry…can we talk?” he looks up, finally letting you see his eyes. he looked, tired. and so did you.

“okay…” you say. you were glad he was back, you missed his touch, his face, his everything.

he gets inside and you close the door behind him. when he lands the items on a table, he suddenly hugs you.

“Baby i’m sorry I don’t know what i fucking said I didn’t mean any of that you know that right? please im sorry ill make it up to you… I just- I just..”

“Baby calm down, we’ll talk about it after you collect all your thoughts.”

he nods in agreement, before he nuzzles his head deeper into your neck taking in your scent. oh how he missed you, how bad he fucked up to the. point you guys haven’t interacted each other for a week.

“I’m sorry… I was just in a bad mood after my friends made a joke about hitting on you… I poured my anger on you, nothing was your fault. It’s all mine.. please forgive me baby I’ll do anything to make up to you..” he started to kiss your neck.

God did you want to cry again.

“don’t you know how much that hurt me?” tears started to roll down your cheeks.

“I know baby.. it’s all my fault blame it on me. I’ve been neglecting my cute and beautiful baby.. you don’t deserve it please don’t cry..” he wipes your tears and cups your face before kissing you all over your face

“Please just don’t do that ever again..” you hug him tightly. you were so happy and sad at the same time. after all those overthinking… his reassurance was what you needed the most.

“Of course, my love. please remember I don’t find you clingy or annoying, even if you were clingy I love every second of it. I love every bit of you. please don’t stop loving me like that, im an asshole fuck me. im sorry you had to deal with this asshole but this asshole loves you very much.” with every sentence, he gave a kiss on your face.

“I love how you make me breakfast everyday, the way you wake me up so sweetly, the way you text me to see how I’m doing, how you clean my clothes for me when I’m too tired, draw doodles on my chest with your fingers when im asleep, kiss me and put a blanket over me when you see me shiver, I love all of you and the things you do.” he continued.

He kisses you long and deep. you couldn’t stop the ecstatic feeling in you when he said all of those words. oh did you love him so much, and so did he.

Safe to say, you guys spent the night in each other’s arms. he spoiled you a lot the very next day, or rather for the past few weeks.

note: this would’ve been better if I havent fucking accidentally exited the draft without saving the work in progress 🫠 AAAAA

[whatdoidosatoru]

Sleeping In

PART 3 of The Only Exception

- part 1 - part 2 - part 4 - ao3

pairing: Keisuke Baji x OC (reader)

wc: 4.6k

tags: smut, fluff, no use of y/n, some back story (talk of cheating etc..), oral sex (m and f receiving), this chapter is actually pretty mild, sorry :)

summary: after another night of shenanigans with Keisuke, he cleared his schedule to spend a day with me

music:

Absolutely (Story About a Girl) - Nine Days

The Great Escape - Boys Like Girls

Coffee at Midnight - Stand Atlantic

Always - Panic! At The Disco

Church - Fall Out Boy

Sarah Smiles - Panic! At The Disco

Memories Of A Broken Heart - Crown The Empire

Sleeping In - All Time Low

Always - blink-182

MDNI! 18+ ONLY!

I rolled over after what seemed to be a very short nap to find Keisuke with a very focused face holding a book from beside my bed.

“Everything okay?” I seemed to have snapped him out of his focus.

“Oh, yeah, this is just a bit weird."

I chuckled, “Yeah, it’s quite different. One of the main themes is reinvention of oneself and writing one’s own story. Meaning, in storytelling, you can reshape your life and constantly move from one self to the other and so on. If you want, you can borrow it, I’ve read it twice already.” He put the book away and slid back down to meet me for a kiss. 

“Maybe later, I like the person I am with you now.” He pushed my hair out of my face.

“Uhh so,” I started, clearing my throat, “What was that ‘all mine’ business?”

His face turned serious, “Did you not like it? I’m sorry if it was too much…”

“No, no, it’s not that,” I quickly stopped him, “I was just wondering what that meant to you.”

“I thought it seemed kind of obvious?”

“Let’s pretend it’s not and I’d like you to clarify.”

With a sharp inhale I stared at his face. I couldn’t say I hadn’t thought about it. There’s a certain satisfaction in fantasising about a relationship with a person you’ve only seen in a public space once and couldn’t forget their face. But this was different, he was really here, physically and emotionally, asking me to trust him and let him in.

He sat up and I followed, both completely naked and vulnerable.

"I want to be with you. I want you to be mine and nobody else’s. I really like you, to the point that I don’t know how I survived those 28 hours between leaving and seeing you again, having the confirmation that I was just overthinking things. I want to be the only person to do these things with you. I want to take you out on dates and then come back home with you and hold you until we fall asleep,” he shook his head, breaking eye contact, “and now that I said all this I really hope you feel somewhat the same because if you don’t I might just lose my mind.”

 All I could hear was a faraway voice in my head, repeating a mantra that had kept me from living my life the way I was supposed to.

You’re so obsessed with me and naive, no wonder I could sneak around and bed a different girl every night and still come back to you to take me in. Are you so stupid that you can’t see that we have been over for months now? I just kept you around so your cunt can be useful to me.

Keisuke sighed, reaching to touch my face. “Then I guess I’ll have to try harder to get to know you,” he said with a smile, “I’m not giving up on you, Yuna. I know we’re going to be good together, I can just feel it in my bones. Whatever I can do to help you see it, I’ll do it.”

“Keisuke…” his eyes locked onto mine.

“...I’m not sure you thought this through enough. You don’t really know me, you don’t know what a mess my head is in. I want to say yes and it felt right saying I was yours, but I’m afraid we’d rush into it and ruin everything.”

“Can we just watch something first?” I asked.

“Can you be naked while we watch?” His mouth showed a devilish grin.

“Pervert.” I playfully smacked his shoulder, then leaned over to kiss his soft lips, digging my hand into his hair, now in a very loose ponytail. He bit my lower lip, took out the hair bobble, and shook his hair out. I got up to position my laptop on the desk so we could see the screen and put on one of my favourite series.

~ 

When I got back to bed, Keisuke wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head,

“I’m still going to call you mine until you tell me to fuck off.” I didn’t think that could ever be an option.

Mai Darling, 21:33

i’m going to sleep, getting up early to finish my research paper so you can get spicy wherever

just please don’t do it in the kitchen

i don’t want your sex particles in my food

Yunaaaaasty, 21:34

good night my darling i hope we dont wake you later <3

Mai Darling, 21:34

you’d better not or i’ll rip your boyfriend’s dick off :D

Yunaaaaasty, 21:34

:’(

Mai Darling, 21:35

thought so, good night and stay safe lovebirds <3

Huh. Boyfriend.

Something about the notion felt safe and comforting. But that was just a recipe to get hurt again. Especially after last time…

~

“I’ll be out late, don’t wait up,” the voice on the other end of the line said. My heart sank, this had been happening for months now, we never saw each other, apart from him sneaking through my window in the dead of night, waking me up for a quick fuck and then passing out, disappearing before I woke up. Whenever I wanted to bring up the fact that we didn’t spend time together anymore, that I was losing interest in him because we didn’t even talk, he’d wave it off. “I told you I was busy, what more do you want from me?” 

Mai had told me to break it off with him, he wasn’t worth crying over, he didn’t care about me, and I’d find someone who would actually make an effort with me. “Don’t be dumb, Yuna, he’s a little weasel. He’s always seemed a little bit off to me, and you can’t even deny it! You only started liking him because it felt good being with a bad boy at the time. Who knows what he’s actually doing,” Mai would warn me to break things off with him on a daily basis, but I didn’t want to give up on him. I believed I could get him back to how he was before he started to pull away from me. Nobody prepared me for what I’d actually see when I decided to follow him out that night. 

~

“Good morning, sweetheart,” I rolled over and saw Keisuke, already awake, smiling at me from the other side of the bed.

“Mmmmornn.” I definitely couldn’t be accused of being a morning person.

Keisuke chuckled, “I don’t think I know that language, but I’m going to assume you need a couple more minutes of quiet to wake up.” He pulled me closer into his chest so I took a deep breath and inhaled his scent. 

I opened one eye as if to sneakily look at him. I couldn’t get enough of him. I could smell him, but I needed to see him, touch him, taste him. Quickly forming a thought in my mind, I managed to wake myself up for my hand to start venturing lower along his body. He quickly caught on and gave me a naughty smile,

“I take it you’re awake now, hmm?” I replied with a kiss, my hand reaching its destination and making him moan into my mouth. 

My hand wrapped around his cock and started slowly pumping it. As I did that, his hips started rolling into me. His moans turned into groans and soft grunts so I decided to switch my approach. Lowering myself to his crotch, his eyes turned hungrier, his noises needier. I took his length into my mouth, eliciting a long moan from his perfectly soft lips. His hips started thrusting upwards, but only slightly, like he couldn’t help himself.

I moaned at the taste of him, sending him into another long moan from the vibrations on his sensitive tip. I bobbed my head up and down, licking along the shaft and wetting it with my spit. His hands were gripping the sheets and his eyes were squeezed shut, taking in all of the sensations. While one of my hands was on the length of his shaft I couldn’t fit into my mouth, I brought the other to my clit, slowly rubbing circles around it and using the sensation to moan around Keisuke’s cock.

He moved one of his hands behind his head and the other to grab my hair into a makeshift ponytail. I looked up and locked eyes with him.

“You look so pretty with-ah fuck-your lips around my cock I could watch you-ah-suck me forever.” He noticed where my other hand was. “Ah, I see. You enjoying yourself?” He smirked with amusement, gripping my hair tighter and pushing me to take more of him in while I sucked in my cheeks to squeeze him tighter. Now he set the pace and very soon he started moaning louder. I rubbed myself quicker now, incredibly turned on by his using my mouth how he wanted.

“Can I come into your mouth?” I could barely hear him through his panting and I had no way of replying as he was still fucking my face so I removed the hand from my clit and gave him a thumbs-up. He laughed, but quickly returned to moaning and cursing under his breath.

“Fuck your mouth is incredible I could do this all day. Good girl you’re taking me so well. Are you ready? Fuck I can’t hold on any longer-” With another tug of my hair and a loud moan he spilt down my throat and my fingers slowed down, not quite willing to stop. I flipped over onto my back and looked up at him, showing him my empty mouth. He smiled and leaned in for a kiss then dragged me back up and kissed down my front to get to where my fingers were teasing my pussy. 

Flashing his canines he went straight in to devour my needy clit and puffy lips. I let out a cry as he pushed two fingers inside of me, immediately hooking them upwards to make me arch my back in pleasure. He removed his tongue only to instruct me to grip his hair, to which I obliged right away, desperate for more friction.

As he licked lazy circles around my sensitive clit I pulled him in closer, kind of afraid he might suffocate, but he just attacked with more fervour, making me moan even louder than before,

“Yes-ah-Keisuke please I’m almost there,” I needed him so terribly and he chuckled, sending vibrations to my core, almost finishing me. 

“Cum on my tongue, pretty girl, I want to taste how good I made you feel.”

That sentence alone sent a wave of pleasure over me, I arched my back and cried out his name while he was slowing down to ease me down to earth. Once again, he wiped his face and licked my slick off, savouring every drop of me before helping me up and embracing me into a tight hug. I was enveloped in his scent, sweetness with a hint of citrus, and it felt like all my stress and overthinking just melted away.

He pulled away after a kiss on my forehead, grinned, and went to put his clothes on.

“I’m guessing you don’t have classes today?” I went to look for something to wear in my wardrobe.

“No, I have Mondays off from university and work, you?” Now that he was, sadly, dressed, he peered out of the bedroom to check if Mai was still home.

“I already messaged work I’m not coming in today.”

With that I stopped in my tracks. Was this because of me? Am I preventing him from going? Wait, does he want to stay in with me?

“Oh how come?” Somehow I managed to sound cool, calm, and collected…I hoped.

“If I hadn’t, I’d have to leave you in bed around seven to get home and get my things to make it. I’d decided I’d much rather spend time with you, if that’s okay with you, of course.” My heart skipped. I felt the biggest grin forming on my face and his face lighting up when he saw it.

“Of course, um, it’s my turn to cook today so I’ll need to pop into the shop to get a couple of things and Mai will be home around 2 and out by 3. Do you want to give me a hand cooking? You don’t have to, of course, but if you want to that would be cool. Also I have to let her know you’ll be with us, do you have any allergies or something you don’t like to eat?” I felt myself rambling and holy fuck I needed to shut up, but he was still grinning at me as if he’d love nothing more than listen to me ramble. 

“You’re so cute. I eat everything and I’ll definitely help and give it my best to not burn down the building.” He made his way to the bathroom and I followed, my hair was in dire need of brushing.

~

Yunaaaaasty, 10:12

my darling keeper of my very own sanity, for lunch we’re making you your favourite <3

Mai Darling, 10:13

My lady, whomstever doth thou meansth whensth thou saysth we?

Yunaaaaasty, 10:14

you’re giving me an aneurysm 

keisuke is staying here for a bit :| hope thats okay with you pls dont be mad mai

Mai Darling, 10:14

as long as my peppers are done and you haven’t fucked in the kitchen i’m fine 

he really likes spending time in our flat huh

don’t take it the wrong way i really don’t mind, i’m just…noticing things

Yunaaaaasty, 10:16

noticing things, my queen?

Mai Darling, 10:16

don’t you worry your pretty little head with that ;) you have enough worries in there for all of us

i’m just saying he’s trying to spend time with you i think that’s cute

continue with my lunch now, servants!

Yunaaaaasty, 10:17

certainly, your highness *bows, scrapes ground with head, disintegrates into ground*

~

On our way to the shop, I noticed Keisuke battling with himself whether or not reach for my hand so I made it easier for him by entangling our fingers and smiling at him. He stopped in the middle of his sentence, as if shocked by my action, and continued with a slight stammer.

On the way back he decided to take my hand himself, but he was reduced to giggles when I used his hand to drag him closer to me and kiss his cheek. It felt good being out with him, being seen and not hidden like some kind of a shameful secret. Maybe it wouldn’t be catastrophic, being with Keisuke. 

“Have I told you how pretty you are?” I interrupted his thoughts, he snapped his head towards me and opened and closed his mouth a couple of times as if unsure how to start.

“I…I mean you said something like that when we met, but uhhh where’s this coming from?”

“I was just thinking out loud. I like being seen with you. Like this,” I lifted our hands, fingers threaded together, “and not feeling like you’re ashamed of me or whatever.”

“What? Has this happened to you before? Because if someone was ashamed to be seen with you, then they’re a moron of epic proportions.” He brought my hand to his lips and gave it a soft kiss, “If we were together, I’d shout it from the rooftops. I’d become so insufferable that everybody would roll their eyes whenever I mention you.” He was so ecstatic about it that I just had to giggle at him.

Back in the kitchen, I put on my apron adorned with Mai’s and my faces - it had been a birthday present from her not long after we moved in together. Keisuke rolled up his sleeves and started chopping red and orange peppers while I seasoned chicken and popped it into the oven. He had already diced the onion because I mentioned nothing stopped from me crying when I did it. When we threw it all into the pan, I got the seasoning out and Keisuke just stared at me from the other end of the kitchen.

“What is it?” I said with a smile.

“Being here and doing mundane things with you feels so natural.”

I couldn’t help but imagine a reality where this was the norm. Walking together, holding hands, cooking lunch, just existing in the same room and talking. I grabbed my wooden spoon and mixed the peppers and onion, adding herbs and garlic. I took out a tablespoon to taste it and grabbed a spoonful for Keisuke to try. He nodded approvingly,

“This is that dish you said you make often? Fucking incredible.” I grinned, put the cooked rice into the pot and mixed it all together.

By the time the chicken was finished in the oven, Mai barged in, groaning and throwing her bag on the chair before face-planting the couch.

“I hate her so muuuuuuch! She knows I don’t read and she still won’t cut me some slack when it comes to assigned reading. I don’t know how many times I have to spell it out for her that I’m fucking D - Y - L - S - E - X - Y - C!”

I had to smack Keisuke’s chest to stop him from snickering.

“My darling,” I went to check on her, “you do know that’s not how you spell dyslexic, right?”

She lifted her head off the pillow and blew a strand of hair out of her face, “Well that’s how I spell it.”

I patted her head and motioned her to come to the kitchen where I plated up our food and brought it to the table with Keisuke’s help. 

“And is your brother older or younger than you?” I wondered.

After we finished lunch, Mai grumbled away into her bedroom and got ready for work while Keisuke and I washed up and put away leftover rice. We still had a good few hours before he had to go home to make dinner for him and his brother so I suggested we go for a walk.

This time holding hands felt natural, and every time we passed someone I knew I didn’t feel like I had to let go and hide. He told me about his coursework, how he had always known he wanted to be a vet, about his favourite things, and his childhood friends. 

“Well, he’s not actually my brother, but he may as well be. We’ve been friends since we were in school. Funny story, actually,” He chuckled to himself, “He wanted to bully me but I ended up saving him from getting beaten up. You’re gonna have to meet him one day soon.”

I stopped in my tracks. He wanted to introduce me to his best friend/brother?

“No, not at all. I’m actually looking forward to meeting him.”

He looked at me, worry in his face, “Something wrong?”

I shook my head, trying not to show I was tearing up,

“You’re so weird, did you know?” He pulled me closer for a kiss. In public? In front of people!

Our kiss got broken up by a bicycle bell so we fled out of the way and just kept walking around. When we passed my university building I pointed it out.

“Looks like a prison, sorry,” Keisuke noted.

“Sometimes it feels like one, too. I need to get something from the library though, wanna come with?” He joined me inside, perusing the shelves of different sections in the library, while I went to the linguistics section to get a massive tome I needed for my next paper. On the way back home he offered to carry it for me when he saw the sheer size of the book. 

“Not gonna lie, Kei, you look really hot with a book in your hand.” His raised eyebrow made me giggle.

“Kei? I like that. I’ll start carrying a book with me at all times.” His hair was shining in the sun and I was overwhelmed by the need to run my fingers through it. Get it together, Yuna. 

I ended up recounting how I had met Mai, how she essentially ‘adopted’ me when she realised I was revising for the same midterm she had to take and she could listen to me revise instead of suffering through her own notes. Then we very quickly became best friends and I asked her if she wanted to move in with me since I had a free room in my flat.

“You own the place then?” Keisuke asked. This story always made me sad.

“Yeah, it was my grandma’s, but she died just before I started university and she left it to me, fully paid off, and she left me a savings account for my tuition. Technically I’m only working to cover my spending money and pay for food.” He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and caressed my cheek.

“Sorry to hear about your grandma.” I smiled at him, now approaching the front door. 

As I was struggling to find the apartment key in the sea of keychains, Keisuke started nibbling on my neck, “Hmm this feels kind of familiar, don’t you think?”

I hurried with the keys and pulled him behind me, heading straight into my room and starting to take off my clothes. His mouth was pulled into a devilish grin, canines poking out, making him look like a vampire, and he took his shirt off before pulling his hair back and attacking my neck again.

~

While we were lying entangled I couldn’t help but overthink the situation. I could feel myself digging the hole of obsession deeper by the minute, which is something I had told myself wouldn’t happen again. But, that said, this didn’t feel like last time.

Keisuke opened his eyes and nearly startled me when he spoke. “You look sad.”

Last time I jumped into a relationship without weighing out my options, just because I liked the look of him and he charmed me into thinking he’d stay like he had been that first week. Then I ended up spending six months constantly wondering where he was, and, on the rare occasions he actually spent time with me, being hidden from the eyes of anyone else.

We’d never held hands or hugged in public. He’d never introduced me to his friends or family. Then he’d said he was just keeping me around for sex and my whole self-worth collapsed. 

Not a question. I didn’t want to bother him with my problems, but it was like he had a sixth sense for it.

“Did you forget what I said to you last night? I want to be with you, and that means taking on a portion of your sadness as well as making you cum daily. Let me help you.”

His usual goofiness is gone, replaced by a serious tone, seeing directly into my soul with his intense eyes. He moved one hand to my hip and started caressing me. 

“I was just overthinking things. I know, I know, when do I not?” With a sigh, I continued.

“I wasn’t allowed to express myself in the last relationship. I’m still trying to learn how to communicate with a partner because I didn’t get that before. That’s why I’m so conflicted because I was drawn to you from the start, but the past experience says it only leads to a catastrophe.” I felt the need to shut my mouth immediately. I’d said too much and laid out my emotions too soon.

My mind was racing, but I’d decided. “I think it’s too soon to say, but there’s another Emo Nite event in 11 days and that might be a good day to decide.” 

Keisuke touched my face, looking deep into my eyes.

“Funny you said that, I also felt drawn to you when I first saw you. I was rude to you to try and stop myself from acting on that feeling, but it clearly didn’t work.” He gestured at us lying in each other’s arms. “But I’m glad this happened because now I can show you how a real man treats his partner. What the actual fuck was this guy’s problem? You’re so smart, kind, funny, and interesting, I can’t wait to hear every next word from your mouth. I really hope you give me a chance to show you how serious I am about all of it.”

“Sounds like a date. Gives me time to talk to my friends and get them to come with me again. Apparently they had a decent time after I left.” 

“Does that mean I could meet them then?”

He leaned in to kiss me and chuckled, “Sweetheart, you’re meeting them way sooner than that.”

~

With a million kisses to go and no firm plan on when we’ll see each other next, I saw him to the door and said goodbye. It hadn’t been five minutes before I got a message from him.

Keisuke, 18:32

I can smell you on my clothes. It’s making me smile in public. c:

Yuna🖤💙, 18:33

thats funny because we spent most of the time with no clothes on

but i can smell you on my pillow and im just gonna sit here and snuggle it for a while

Keisuke, 18:33

That’s probably the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.

Please keep it up.

I’ll give you my hoodie or something next time.

Yuna🖤💙, 18:34

PROMISE?!

Keisuke, 18:34

Woah eager beaver C;

Yeah of course. Seeing you in my clothes might send me to a hospital, but I bet it would be worth it. c;

Yuna🖤💙, 18:35

if you get a heart attack whos gonna eat me out until i cry from overstimulation??????

Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 18:36

Hey I’m hospitalised, not dead!

Yuna🖤💙,18:36

youre ridiculous. let me know when you get home safe <3

Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 18:37

How cute, she’s worried about me c;

~

Yuna-chan, 19:03

i spent the past 22 hours with him 

hes sooooo not like any asshole from before

like

he held my hand when we walked

he kissed me in front of the library?!?!?!!?

he asks me stuff about me

chat is this real??? 

Hana-chan, 19:05

Dibs on picking bridesmaid dresses :)

Seriously though Yuna Im so happy for you

He sounds really nice

I expect an in-depth report on Sunday :D

And I want to see both of you at the event next Friday ;)

Yuna-chan, 19:10

thank you hana i couldnt have done this without you

seriously

[1 image attachment]

HE TOOK A POLAROID OF ME FROM THE FRIDGE!

Hana-chan, 19:12

Thank fuck it wasn’t a pair of panties hahah

That’s kinda cute ngl

You have one of him he has one of you.

Yuna-chan, 19:15

i’m smiling uncontrollably ??????? can’t stop send help

btw you got homework done for tomorrow?

~

After a few more hours of general upkeep of the apartment, texting with Hana and Keisuke, and sniffing the pillow whenever I walked into my bedroom, Mai arrived home from work and headed straight into the kitchen for leftovers. We sat at the kitchen table, catching up, when she pulled out a bag of popcorn from her bag, along with a couple of pots full of nacho cheese dip.

With a grin, we switched to the living room and put on our favourite show to rewatch, snacking on the loot from the cinema. 

[angeliqueiguess]

Crushing Hard, Lifting Heavy (Pt. 2)

w.count: 2.6k

pairing: gymtrainer! jeno x afab!reader

genre: little fic (based on this requested moodboard)

tags: swearing, suggestive, Mark being a douche and Haechan being annoying (srry), Jeno & reader falling for each other before the date lol, Reader's bff being funny, snarky comments, sarcasm, fem reader but it doesnt specify how she looks like.

As Y/n left the gym and slid into her car, she mentally kicked herself for making a fool of herself.

"How do you just leave without giving him your number?" she said, turning the key to start the engine. She sat there for a moment, staring at the gym entrance, replaying everything that had just happened.

"Well… at least I gave it to him, right?" she muttered softly, glancing at her phone resting on the passenger seat beside her gym bag. But as the scene replayed in her mind, embarrassment crept up her neck, setting her cheeks on fire.

The drive home didn’t offer much relief—her thoughts were racing. If she was this anxious now, how on earth was she going to survive Friday at six? Wait, it was at six, right? Yeah… six. She shook her head, trying to stop the spiral.

When she finally got home, her pet greeted her with an explosion of excitement.

"Hey, baby! Did you miss me?" she cooed, her voice soft and playful as she closed the door behind her. "Are you hungry? Hmm? Wanna eat?" she continued in that silly voice reserved only for her pet—no one else could ever hear her talk like this.

After feeding him, she sighed and stretched. Her muscles ached from the day’s workout, which had been way more intense than she’d expected. A shower first, then food. That was the plan.

"I swear, Sora, he just came up to me and asked," Y/n said shyly, setting her phone on the counter as she stirred the food she was cooking. She was on a video call with her friend, who was far too curious to let the conversation slide.

"Oh. My. God!" Sora exclaimed dramatically. "This is the kind of story you tell your grandkids!" Y/n chuckled, shaking her head as she reached for some seasoning.

"Ugh, shut up!" she said with a grin. "For a second, I seriously thought he was messing with me." Sora scoffed.

"Mess with you? Girl, have you seen yourself?" Y/n rolled her eyes, and Sora was quick to pounce. "Don’t even try it—I saw that eye roll!" Sora teased, making Y/n laugh as she leaned on the counter, resting her face in her hands.

"It’s not that big of a deal," Y/n sighed. "I mean, he asked me out, but he’s way too good-looking for this to go smoothly. There’s gotta be a catch." Every few moments, she stirred the food to keep it from burning.

"Maybe," Sora said, "but the point is—he asked. Don’t overthink it." Y/n opened her mouth to respond, but Sora cut her off. "Come on, Y/n! You showed me pictures of this guy. He’s delicious." Y/n burst out laughing, quickly clapping a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound.

"Stop it, Sora!" she scolded, half-embarrassed, shaking her head.

"I’m just saying!" Sora said, pausing for effect. "If I were in your shoes, I’d already have his babies—and you know it." Y/n gave her a look, one that said everything without words.

"I’m not doing that. I mean, I thought about it, but I’ll never actually do it. I promise," Sora said holding up her hands in deffense. "Look, if it all goes south, just stop going to that gym. Not like you need it, queen." Y/n sighed, her thoughts circling back.

"I don’t know. He’s just so nice—always smiling when he helps me with stuff... I feel so dumb sometimes, like my brain goes haywire whenever he’s around. And I start stuttering, too." Sora gave her a knowing look, as if to say, Girl, you’ve already fallen.

"Y/n L/n, listen to me," Sora said, clutching her chest theatrically. "You’re caught. Hook, line, and sinker, my friend."

"Maybe…" Y/n admitted with a soft sigh. "But seriously, there’s got to be something off about him. He’s just too perfect."

Without missing a beat, Sora asked, "What if he’s got a small dick?" Y/n choked on the food she was taste-testing, coughing violently.

"You—!" she wheezed, clutching her chest as she struggled to breathe.

"Are you okay?! Should I call an ambulance?" Sora asked, holding her phone closer in concern. Y/n kept coughing, waving her hand to signal she was fine.

"You’re… an idiot, Sora," she managed between gasps, finally catching her breath.

"Well, excuse me! I was ready to drive over there and save your life!"

"Trust me, if I’d actually choked, I’d already be dead," Y/n said dryly, seeing the amused yet scandalized expression on her friend’s face.

"Don’t even joke about that! You’re not dying—not without getting a good look at your trainer’s package first," Sora teased.

Y/n shook her head, biting back a grin. "You’re impossible. Now, if you don’t mind, my food is ready, and I’d really like to eat it while it’s still hot."

"Alright, enjoy your meal, girl!" Sora said cheerfully before ending the call. Y/n placed her phone on the counter, smiling to herself.

And then, the last thing she expected happened. Well, it wasn’t that she feared it exactly, but she definitely wasn’t prepared for it to occur at that moment. ''Damn, I cook too well'' She murmured to herself with a satisfied smile as she unlocked the screen.

“Jeno Gym” — 2 messages.

Her heart skipped a beat. She swallowed quickly and accidentally tapped the notification, opening the chat instantly. "Great… now he’s going to think I’m desperate," she thought, a mix of frustration and nerves washing over her.

There were two voice messages. She adjusted the volume, took a deep breath, and with a slight tremble in her finger, pressed the first one.

“Hey, hi... sorry for the late hour, it’s Jeno, your trainer,” he said, ending with a light laugh. Y/n felt a rush of heat flood her cheeks. She abruptly paused the audio and let out a nervous sigh, glancing at her dog, Junni, who was watching her with curiosity, his tail wagging excitedly.

''Don’t look at me like that, Junni… This is not the best time for judgment'' she muttered under her breath, lowering her head for a moment. Gathering her courage, she pressed play on the audio again, ready to face whatever came next.

“I wanted to know where you’d like to go on Friday... I know it’s still a few days away, and maybe I’m moving too fast, sorry.”

The first message ended, and without giving her time to process it, the next one started.

“But no pressure, okay?” Jeno added in a relaxed tone. “I hope you have a lovely night. Text me whenever you want, no rush, you decide.”

When Jeno’s voice faded, Y/n dropped the phone onto the counter as if it were burning hot. The sigh that escaped her this time was deeper, almost resigned. She looked at Junni, who was still there, wagging his tail with enthusiasm, as if everything were perfectly under control.

''Your auntie was right, Junni... I’m completely lost ''She admitted, surrendering to the chaos that Jeno had stirred in her mind. She buried her face in her hands, as if that could somehow slow the racing of her heart.

This is it; there’s no turning back now, she thought to herself.

On the other side of the city, Jeno was in his apartment, nervously drumming his fingers against his knee. He felt an urge to punch the wall every time he thought about the voice messages he had sent.

''God... did I sound too stupid?'' He said, slumped in a corner of the couch. His phone sat on the table across the room like a ticking bomb. He couldn't even bring himself to look at it. The embarrassment coursed through him.

“What if she doesn’t reply? What if she says yes and then regrets it? What if she just stands me up?” The thoughts spiraled endlessly. He wanted to get up, but each time he tried to walk toward the phone, he froze in place.

“What if she thinks I’m just some desperate guy who’s never been out with a woman?” he asked himself quietly, feeling anxiety tighten around his chest. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.

Finally, he sprang to his feet.

''Fuck it... It’s now or never.'' He crossed the room with determination, even though his heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might burst out of his chest. When he reached the phone, he picked it up, seeing her name on the screen: Y/n. He exhaled slowly, a nervous smile creeping onto his face. It wasn’t just one message... it was three voice notes.

He mentally prepared himself and, refusing to be intimidated any longer, opened the chat.

''Come on, Jeno, grow a fucking pair...'' He whispered to himself, trying to boost his courage. He tapped the first audio, and Y/n's voice filled the room.

“Hey, Jeno...”

Immediately, he paused the message. The phone trembled in his hands, as if he needed it to breathe. ''Breathe, damn it...'' He muttered under his breath, and hit play again.

“Um, honestly, I’d prefer if you chose the place... You seem like someone with good taste, haha.” Hearing her laughter felt like a celestial choir erupted in his head. He closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the sound. But the moment was short-lived; in the background, he heard a bark that jolted him back to reality. He frowned, confused, but soon understood.

In the next audio, Y/n continued with a soothing tone.

“And don’t worry, you didn’t sound rushed at all.” Jeno felt his chest lighten, a smile breaking across his face involuntarily. He could hear her gently scolding something.

“Junni, stop it.”

That little detail made him smile even more. Not only did he like her, but he also found her pet adorable. As the last audio began to play, Jeno felt like he could listen to her voice on repeat for the rest of his life.

“So Friday is your turn... Next time, it’s my turn, okay?” The air caught in his throat.

''Wait... what the fuck?'' —he whispered, incredulous.

He rewound the message to make sure he hadn’t imagined it.

“Next time, it’s my turn, okay?”

Jeno froze for a few seconds, trying to process it. Another date? Was she really saying she wanted there to be a next time? His stomach flipped with excitement. Euphoric, he scrambled for the right words to reply. He had to respond quickly... but without sounding too eager.

''Come on, Jeno, think!'' —he told himself quietly, rubbing his hands together. Finally, he pressed the button to record a voice message.

''Okay, perfect! See you tomorrow at the gym... Good morning!'' With a huge smile, he sent the message. But that smile faded in an instant. As soon as he heard the audio he had just sent, he brought a hand to his face in horror.

''God... I fucked it up!!'' He tried to delete the message, but it was too late: Y/n had already heard it. Now all he could do was wait.

Ping! A text.

´´Hahahaha, that was funny! Anyways, see you tomorrow <3''

''A heart, she sent me a heart'' He said out loud plopping down in the sofa with an ear-to-ear smile.

The following days passed by normally… well, normal for everyone else except them. For Y/n and Jeno, those days were anything but easy. They weren’t torturous in a bad way, but the anxiety was overwhelming. Both of them were bundles of nerves leading up to the date. They barely managed to talk to each other, and when they did, the words seemed to get stuck in their throats. Y/n kept losing count during her sets, and Jeno got constant scoldings from Mark for zoning out.

“Hey! Focus!” Mark snapped at him, irritated. “Stop drooling over your girlfriend and go help Haechan with the leg press. He won’t shut up about it.” Jeno rolled his eyes and sighed as he walked past Mark.

“I wish she was,” he muttered under his breath. Mark let out a mocking laugh.

“You? Not even in your next life.” His gaze stayed locked on Y/n as he spoke. Jeno turned, fists clenched, ready to fire back, but Haechan’s loud whining interrupted him.

“Jeno! Help me, please!” Haechan called out dramatically, clutching his back like he was in real pain.

“You’re so annoying,” Jeno grumbled, shaking his head as he walked over to him. “This isn’t even that heavy. You work here, idiot—aren’t you supposed to be strong enough for this?” Jeno grunted as he practically moved the press on his own, doing most of the heavy lifting.

“Thanks, man,” Haechan said, grinning. Jeno barely nodded, but as he glanced up, his heart sank—Y/n was talking to Mark. His legs moved on instinct, but just as he was about to head over, Haechan’s arm blocked his way. “Bro, chill… There are people here,” Haechan warned in a low voice.

“Fuck the gym,” Jeno muttered, pushing Haechan’s arm aside. He wasn’t planning to cause a scene; he just wanted to eavesdrop on whatever conversation was happening.

Feigning that he was adjusting a machine, Jeno leaned closer, ears straining to catch their words.

“So, got any plans for tomorrow night?” Mark asked casually, though the tone grated on Jeno’s nerves. His jaw tightened.

“Yes, I do,” Y/n answered confidently, her tone calm and collected—so different from the knot twisting in Jeno’s stomach.

“Care to share who the lucky guy is?” Mark teased, that smug grin plastered on his face. “Or girl… Anyone would be lucky to have you.” Jeno’s grip on the dumbbell tightened. Was Mark seriously treating her like some kind of prize? He couldn’t take it anymore. With a subtle shift, Jeno moved a weight just enough to make a loud clink, enough to grab their attention without looking obvious.

Both Y/n and Mark glanced toward the sound.

“Yes,” Y/n said, still facing Mark, before turning her gaze toward Jeno. “I’m going out with Jeno.”

She smiled at him, and Jeno, caught off guard, managed to smile back—though it felt more like his brain had short-circuited. For a moment, he swore he saw Mark’s jaw drop. And savored every second of it.

The day had finally arrived. Y/n didn’t show up at the gym, but Jeno wasn’t too worried—she’d already texted him:

"Jeno, I’m skipping the gym today. Don’t miss me, lol."

It had been three hours since the message, and Jeno was still in a good mood, practically walking on air. The excitement for what the night had in store kept his nerves at bay.

''So, she ditched you, huh?'' Haechan teased, draping a heavy arm over Jeno’s shoulder. Without missing a beat, Jeno shrugged off his friend’s arm with a casual roll of his shoulder, pretending it didn’t faze him.

''Nah'' He replied coolly, shrugging. ''She said she’s getting ready for tonight. You know… girl stuff. You wouldn’t understand.'' He threw in a nonchalant wave and made his way toward one of the machines, though his heart was pounding beneath the surface. Of course, Haechan trailed behind, sticking to him like a shadow.

''Mark told me she’s going out with you tonight. Thought he was joking, to be honest.'' Haechan smirked, that signature teasing grin on full display.

Jeno snorted softly, shaking his head with a smug grin of his own. ''Oh really? '' He said, raising an eyebrow without giving much away.

He didn’t bother saying anything else, knowing full well that feeding Haechan’s curiosity would only make things worse. Instead, he shot him a quick look that said, "You can keep wondering," and walked off, leaving Haechan behind this time.

His thoughts were already far ahead—on tonight, and only on her.

Jeno clocked out of work at exactly 4:00 PM, which meant he'd be home by 4:20. A quick shower, a little time to get ready, and by 6:00, he’d be at Y/n’s door—right on time. He had chosen a restaurant that hit the sweet spot: not too expensive, but not too casual either. It was a place he knew well, with a reservation already secured. Everything was set. There was nothing left to stress about. As he started the car, he fired off a message to Y/n, telling her a bit about his day and letting her know he’d text when he was outside. With the message sent, he tossed his phone onto the passenger seat and focused on getting home in one piece.

Meanwhile, Y/n was on the verge of a meltdown. She had absolutely no clue what to wear. In a moment of desperation, she’d even tried to get Junni, to help her decide—holding up two different outfits and waiting for some kind of sign. But Junni just stayed curled up in his bed, completely uninterested in the existential crisis of someone with rent to pay.

“Thanks for nothing, Junni,” she muttered, half-frustrated, half-defeated, giving him a light scratch behind the ears. He barely flicked his tail in response.

With a heavy sigh, she slumped down on the couch, still wrapped in towels—one twisted around her damp hair and another around her body. She’d only just stepped out of the shower when Jeno’s text popped up on her phone.

And that’s when it hit her—she didn’t have an outfit planned. How did I forget this?! Panic started bubbling to the surface, making her chest feel tight.

prev//next

Angelique's note: Heeeey, it's me! And with an update! Sorry for making it so long (the next chapters will be filled with a lot of things, iykyk) Anyhow, here is the part two of this Jeno fic! I hope everyone enjoyed it and let me know what you think in the ask box (i truly love answering your yapping <3) As always, every type of interaction will be welcome and don't forget to eat and to stay hydrated. Love yaaaaa.

Taglist: @thegracerammy (let me know if you would like to be tagged in the next chapter <3)

[disciplinedselfrya]

A talk about success and failure

Story time!!!

This summer (in 2024), I took a pretty important exam. In my country, students prepare for this for an entire year with the teachers’ help, studying subjects such as my native language, English etc. - and, of course, math.

The thing is….the exam itself wasn’t that difficult. The real challenge was our confidence, our mindset - something no one had prepared us for. Well, no one except our math teacher.

I remember how, few weeks before the exam, he stopped mid-lesson and said:

“Don’t you dare imagine yourselves failing. If you think about failing, you will fail. You studied hard for this exam and so, everything will be fine.”

And I was like GOSHWHYHASNOBODYTOLDMETHISINMYLIFE???

This memory came to me while I was watching a video on reframing your mindset. The creator was talking about how we need “to prepare for success, not for failure”. And yeah…yk, I don’t think this topic is discussed about enough.

We all have goals, right?

Maybe yours is to lose weight, save up, move to Florida or open your own café. Whatever tour goal is, I bet you are nervous about it. Why am I so sure? Because everyone feels nervous or anxious about their dreams. IT IS NORMAL. We overthink cause we care about our dreams and want them to become reality.

But, in this process, you are harming yourself. Ever heard of self-sabotage, huh?

So, let me ask you: how are you going to give your best if you’re constantly picturing yourself failing or messing up? How are you going to succeed when you’ve already decided that failure is the only option?

Here comes the tricky part: I am not saying you should visualize or think about your success either. Why? Because if you get too lost in fantasies, you might forget to put in the real work. When you convince yourself you already have that dream body, career, or bank account…you stop working for it. I’ve been there too. (God forbid how any times I wanted to write a book and I took my scenarios so far that by the end of the night I would have lost my idea while thinking about my future “best-sellers”)

What really matters is being present and doing the work. It’s okay to admit you haven’t reached your goal yet. It’s okay to wake up and say, “Alright, let’s try one more time.” Being realistic, grounded and confident that your efforts will pay off is the best mentality when facing a challenge.

Remember: train for success. Believe for your success. Work for your success. Failure doesn’t exist.

Keep going! Rya

[tmntxthings]

Time to Realize

author’s note: it’s been awhile since I wrote anything for dear raphala so here we are c: it’s a drabble

warnings: angst (duh 💀), cursing, heartbreak, very short, hurt no comfort

word association: pining, obsession, toxic relationships, overthinking, emotional breakdown, judgment, love, fake love, realization, false hope, endless cycles, scapegoat, fools-in-love

song: “ Stuck On You ” by Giveon

—————————————————————————

How long had the two of you been together now? Raphael despite himself, smiled. Just at the mere thought of the beginning. The moment he met you. Was his happiest moment. It had been three years now. Three! His longest relationship…his only relationship.

He couldn’t picture it any other way. And maybe that was the problem. Raph always found a way to pin the blame on himself. Not you. You were perfect. At least you had been. It took three years to realize that no one could ever be. Perfect that is.

Raph hadn’t realized his relationship with you wasn’t normal. It wasn’t healthy. Mikey had been giving him warnings. Trying to drop hints subtly that real partners wouldn’t hide a relationship for this long… but he was used to hiding. So maybe it was his fault… it didn’t exactly help that he was something ‘other’ to you. To your family. To your friends. To humans.

But the excuse was an old one that Mikey kept saying over and over. “Mutants have been out of the shadows for years now Raph…” and Raph knew that. But he was a fool! He tried to bring it up, but he couldn’t rush you. He couldn’t be the reason to bring tears to your eyes. So at the first sign of your irritation, or uncomfortable stance, he dropped it.

And it never got resolved. He never met anyone important to you, though he knew what they all looked like. You showed him pictures! Those little things weren’t victories in Mikey’s eyes.

So he decided it was better to stop talking about his relationship with Mikey, much to his little brother’s dismay. Raph was fine.. he was! He had been. Until you started coming around less. Until you stopped texting him back regularly. He threw himself into hero work, and usually it did the trick. To distract him.

Maybe if he worked long enough, he wouldn’t check the phone long enough for you to reply back. He’d wait as long as it would take.

He wanted your attention. Back to the way it was when you first met him. When you were just as love-struck. Just as smitten. Now it seemed like he was the only one holding on. But then there were those nights, where you came down to the lair and depended on him. For him to be your rock. He could ground you like no other, maybe because he was always reassuring he would always be there for you.

Even though it wasn’t reciprocated. Those nights fed into his false reality. That everything was right. That you loved him and needed him. But it was the farthest thing from the truth. And you had told him so not too long after that.

“Raph, I’ve been seeing someone else.”

It had shattered him.

Like his plastron had caved in.

His knees would’ve gone to the floor if he hadn’t already been sitting on his bed. Where you had led him. Just moments earlier you had sat him there, kissed him, laid with him. And now you were leaving and explaining why.

“W-what?” He had needed more than just that. And you gave him the bare minimum. “I just don’t love you like I used to… and I don’t think a human and a mutant could ever really work… you know?”

No he didn’t.

April got along just fine with her yokai girlfriend.

But he just nodded along. Because it hurt too much to say anything else. To fight this. When he knew he would be the only one fighting for the two of you anyway.

Why did he even want that?

He didn’t really know.

He knew you were bad for him.

Especially when you came back a week later. Not sober. Tears running down your face as you pleaded to be let in. For him to forgive you. Because you had missed him.

That was all it took for Raph. Just seeing you again had him opening his arms, drawing you in, petting a hand through your hair. Shushing you, not wanting you to sob or cry any longer. “I’m here angel, right here. Ain’t goin’ anywhere, I never left ‘kay?”

The feeling of you against him had been a light balm. That had faded when he woke up the next morning. Because even when you had nodded into his plastron. Shuddering and whimpering, you had left without saying anything.

He was wronged by you, again and again. And he willingly let it happen. Because it felt right with you. Like that was his purpose in life…

And he knew he was just clinging at this point. Grasping at straws. It wasn’t even rational. Raphael realized he was a turtle who did not like change. He didn’t want to ever let you go. And all you had to do was tempt him. And he would go to you on all fours. You were his angel, no matter how you treated him. No matter how many times you left him.

He loved you. So much. Too much. But he couldn’t say it aloud. His brothers would judge him too harshly. And maybe this wasn’t even love anymore. Maybe he just wished it was.

It was far from love. He was stuck on you. Something he couldn’t control. Something he couldn’t quit. So he’d wait for you to come around again.

[fischerbees]

Bite Me!

click to help palestine before reading

[word count: 3544]

X. From Out of the Light

“With all due respect,” Kai touched his chest before surveying everyone gathered with a sharp stare, “I'd much rather swim in the Boiling Sea than go back to that place.” Eyebrows furrowing, jaw moving as he bit on his tongue, he crossed his arms. 

Trying to keep the discussion calm before Kai would get a chance to flash his temper some more, Cole added, “Yeah… I have to agree with Kai, I don't really feel like going back there.” Maybe he shone the lamp right into his own face himself, he liked to believe the saying was right and Kai could serve as his candlestick.

Lloyd sighed. “Fine, you two can stay here with Wu. I guess it's better to have some ninja on standby while we're away.” Waving towards the others, he continued, “The rest of us will take the Bounty, then, and go check if there's more behind the forest than just the Echo Canyons.”

“I don't get what the fuss is about? Isn't it good that all we need is a little nap to recover from those injuries? Do we really need to worry about this?” While Cole was glad Kai asked those questions for him, the edge of his tone made him wonder. Sure, he wants everyone to drop this as soon as possible but why does Kai? Surely, there was no way it meant…

Kai shuffled under his gaze, so he decided to return his attention to the plan-making. Maybe he will get a chance later today.

“… For all we know there might be something more behind it, something more going on inside your bodies we are not aware of.”

“I’m feeling fine.” Kai squinted over them all. “Maybe we're giving this more attention than necessary.” Only Cole’s eyes were skipped over.

“Uh, Kai?” But whatever Jay wanted to bring up was immediately shot down with another one of Kai's flaming looks.

“Look, there's nothing bad about being vigilant. We don't need more trouble hiding right under our noses.” Lloyd's words made the fire starter shut up but nothing stopped him from keeping up the barricade made of salt.

“Can’t we just go tomorrow morning? I don't wanna search the forest when it gets dark,” Jay said, receiving reassurance from Nya in the form of a pat on the shoulder and a, “Come on, don’t worry. We'll be fast enough. Plus we were supposed to check out the florists in town tomorrow, remember?”

“If you say so…”

“Great.” Lloyd slapped his hands together. “Let’s go get ready. Nya, Pix, start up the Bounty, will ya?”

At first, Lloyd trailed after the group as they dispersed, chasing their tasks. But seeing as Jay hung behind, he decided to follow his example. Especially when he heard Kai’s voice.

“Just leave it already, jackass, or next time it will be me doing some experiments and trust me, they won’t be for the good of science.”

“Come on, did you seriously not talk? I don’t think you should just ignore it. Not in our world. You know none of us judge you and especially not Cole.”

“You’re overthinking it. Like you overthink everything. Just… lay off of me, will you?”

“Kai–”

“Fuck. Off. ¿Comprendes? Or do you need it on a fucking paper?”

Years of practice told him when to leave to avoid getting caught. Not that they would spell out the essence of their argument just because, plus he had other duties. While preparing for the trip, Lloyd kept going over his internal list of everything he knew, and over  ideas on how to learn more. The accustomed growl of the awoken ship made this easier.

Cole eyed the departing Bounty, absent-mindedly nibbling at the skin around his nails. Despite the dancing sun in the sky, his mind was overcast with doubts. No matter what, he found himself unable to take a deep breath. If they discover the same conclusion he came to, then perhaps they would also bring some solutions, no?

Then again, it would mean he was indeed…

Squeezing his eyes shut, Cole spun around inside his head the wish for everything to go back to normal. No. It couldn’t be happening again. Why was he not allowed to stay comfortable in his own skin?

Not to mention what it would bring to the table for the rest of the team if they do not happen to stumble upon a miraculous solution.

A hand landed on his shoulder, the light grip hiding great strength. The air told him who made him company before he even got the chance to speak. Cole let his hand drop, although his finger pads kept circling one another.

“Cole.” Master Wu regarded him down his nose. “Why don’t you join me for brief training while Kai prepares something to eat?”

An opportunity to avoid his thoughts fell right into his lap, of course he jumped right for it. So he nodded and went along.

__________________________________________

“If we split into two groups, we can cover both sides at once, thereby save some time.” Lloyd separated the two parts of the forest on the map they projected at the bridge. Everyone nodded along and that was all he needed. Proceed.

“Let’s do that. How about–”

“Jay and I go now and you three cover the bigger part since there’s more of you and two thirds of the group are nindroids? I was thinking the exact same thing!”

Jay protested as he ushered him down on the deck. Nya went after them, not outright frowning but there was the familiar wrinkle between her brows as she tried to understand Lloyd’s intentions.

“What’s wrong with you, man?” Jay whined, shaking his arm off.

“You’ve got this guys. We’ll meet at the library, ok?” And before Jay could complain further, Lloyd had both of them plummeting towards the green surface, their hair flapping, the air wailing.

Once they landed amongst the pines, Jay dusted himself off and shot Lloyd a dirty look.

“What did I do to you?”

“Nothing.” Lloyd shrugged, turning in the direction of their destination. “Let’s not waste time and take a look around.” Behind him, Jay huffed and they were on their way.

The silence of their surroundings was a stark contrast to the wind howling and motor rumbling aboard the Bounty. Akin to diving underwater, the place had its own ambience. Forests kept quiet, yet for some reason Lloyd felt the hair on the nape of his neck stand up.

Green eyes surveyed the area. The trees, bushes, grass, all stood still, as if the place held its breath. As if it had gotten caught stalking them and now tried to pretend it wasn’t there at all. In such a place, thousands of eyes could watch them without them knowing, he should not worry about it.

Few rays of sunshine managed to fight their way through the thick canopy, casting small areas in golden light. Grass lay down as they walked, branches swayed as they pushed them out of their faces.

It should have been normal, not unsettling. His determination to find answers did nothing but feed the absurd paranoia. He wanted to find something amiss, so he assumed the wrongness everywhere. How helpful.

The undergrowth hissed and cracked against their trampling but they had no other option than to create their own path. Besides that and their breathing, Lloyd could hear Jay hum some song.

“Pretty silent in here, huh?” Lloyd spoke. Not solely to distract himself, also to introduce his other wonders. “I guess we’re farther from the river than I anticipated.”

“It’s a forest, Lloyd. Don’t you know what a forest is? It’s a dam. For water, for sounds… It’s literally used as soundproofing.”

“I understand, Jay. Boy, you sound stressed.”

“I’m not. It was just a stupid comment.” His insult was left behind among the wooded crowd.

“Does it, by any chance, have anything to do with Kai? Just guessing.” Something snapped, the green rustled as Jay ran to catch up. Lloyd had no issue keeping eye contact, Jay did. No way his dedication to the task at hand was this strong.

“No. Why would it have anything to do with Kai? You’re the one who literally pushed me off the Bounty before you even let Nya suggest her idea.”

“You two spend enough time together as it is, you’re gonna be fine.”

“It was rude,” Jay muttered, looking up into the treetops. Lloyd clicked his tongue.

“What’s going on between you and Kai?”

“Nothing! What would be going on between me and Kai? We literally just talked about Nya, my yang, remember? Nothing going on between me and Kai…”

While Lloyd stopped in his tracks, Jay continued a few steps before pausing himself. He looked around some more, then he turned to face Lloyd.

“You two were at each other’s throats more than usual recently,” the green ninja stated. “Kai’s keeping something for us and judging from your words, it isn’t his unfortunate lovelife.” He stopped closer, height adding to his respect in this case. “So, I ask, what is going on with you guys?”

Underneath his gaze, Jay rolled his eyes, grumbled something, looked around, and crossed his arms until he looked back at Lloyd.

“He doesn’t want me to talk about it.”

“Jay…”

“He doesn’t like it.”

“Jay.”

“You will tell on me.”

The green ninja stood still, not moving an inch as he waited for Jay to break. He could count down by watching his face.

Finally, the lightning elemental groaned.

“That night, you know, when we think Cole must’ve gotten in trouble, before the day we found him, that night I found Kai in the hall. He looked awful, muttered some weird things… He kept insisting about some danger or whatever. It looked like some sort of panic attack, I don’t know. Honestly, he made me worry myself, he sounded dead serious.”

“And you think it’s somehow related to what happened to Cole?”

Jay took a breath. Unusually calm and rigid. He turned around and continued their observational walk. Urging him to reply, Lloyd kept their distance to a minimum.

“Did you notice there’s a lot of conifers?”

“Walker.”

“I mean, when I found him, he was banging on Cole’s door, calling for him. Whatever it was, it had something to do with Cole. And, I mean, several hours later we find him— It’s not totally whack to get to that conclusion.”

“So I assume you tried to get him to talk about it?”

“To Cole? Yep. ‘Cause whether it was about the past or present, I thought they should discuss it, no? It’s been tough. But guess what, now there’s just more tension between them! Fun! This is all so… fun.”

Humming, Lloyd focused on assembling his thoughts rather than investigating the forest. Not that they found anything outright strange since they arrived. Then again, it also took a while when they were looking through the woods back home.

The coincidence of those events was undeniable but who was to say this was the first time? As much as Lloyd hated it, Kai was exceptionally good at keeping things to himself.

Perhaps not precognition… People claimed to have a weird feeling when their loved-ones were in danger. A sense of foreboding before they learn someone died.

Stranger things had happened to them and Kai and Cole were close, it would not be too much of a reach to assume a part of Kai manifested this foreboding in a panic attack. Especially considering Cole’s overall condition worsened over the course of a few weeks, it could’ve…

“Greenie.”

“What?”

“The conifers. There’s quite a bunch of them.”

“Yeah, you mentioned.” And considering Kai’s latest agitation, there must have been a lot on his mind. Less than a year had passed.

“It is pretty quiet.”

“You just gave me a speech about that.”

Without any warning, Jay froze, resulting in Lloyd bumping into him. All the hair in his face made him hold back a sneeze. Time to push aside the speculations.

“Did you see something?” Lloyd did not hesitate to look around, hand hovering over the hilt of his kukri.

“More like I didn’t.”

His eyes asked the question for him when they met Jay’s.

“The conifers, Lloyd. And the quiet. Didn’t you notice it?”

“It was precisely what I talked about the moment we got here and you made me sound like an idiot. And what is your deal with the conifers, are you allergic or something?”

“Squirrels feed on cones, Lloyd, and it leaves a mess. Jeez, you’re acting like you’ve never been in a forest before. Did you notice any mess? Any chewed cones? Any at all?”

“The undergrowth is kind of thick…”

“The cones are untouched, is what I’m saying.”

“And that’s weird because…”

“Have you seen a forest without squirrels? ‘Cause I definitely didn’t. Which probably means something ate them all and a long time ago too. Also, where are the bugs? Everything crawls on me whenever we’re in a forest!”

Lloyd turned around to get a proper view, this time focusing on the trunks of the trees. He kept wondering about the silence, although woods were well-known as quiet places. Animals kept away from paths and from people disrupting the peace. Not that they had any paths with human stench to avoid.

“I don’t see any claw marks. Did you notice any huge claw marks?”

“Nope.”

Despite his answer, Lloyd pulled out the kukri and resumed walking. The chains of Jay’s nunchucks jingled.

However, birds’ songs used to reach their ears in other woods. His eyes glazed over the branches above their heads. The sun reached through, yet somehow the canopy felt more isolating, keeping them locked away from the sky and racing air. They did not dive into the sea, they dove into a jar of honey at the back of the cupboard.

They should do their job right, however, Lloyd would much rather hurry to meet the rest.

“We should reach the library anytime soon, keep an eye out.”

“That’s what we were supposed to be doing, yeah.”

__________________________________________

“Balance, Cole, requires concentration.”

“I am concentrated.” Cole huffed under the unsteady weight, only to suck in his breath when he felt the stick he stood on wobble. Wu's training practices had become too abstract to his liking. He preferred the straight-forwardness of battle – no riddles or metaphors, just pure muscle exertion and strategy.

Landing punches and counting reps worked like a lullaby for his mind, an entrance to the zone. Balancing cups of water a few metres in the air did not. He could not tune out any of the distracting elements all around when the ground kept calling for him.

“And improvement requires honesty.”

“I’m starting to get the impression this could've been said over a cup of tea, Master Wu.”

“You would willingly accept that offer, then?”

Cole readjusted his grip on the plank, an excuse to aim his eyes elsewhere than the ones of his master. Despite that, he still felt the piercing look keep him in place.

“Sometimes I think we have a terrible influence on you.”

“Certainly. You’re not the only ones being taught useful lessons.” His voice quivered under the hint of humour.

Sighing, Cole's eyes wandered around his view. Behind the walls stretched forests—pierced by mountains and patched by fields—to nearest cities and villages. The view from their home has always been impressive when the sky was clear. But something about the sight that day seemed sharper. Faraway details stood out more than usual. The blur of distance cleared off like fog dissipating.

This time his breath faltered for a different reason than his frail footing and so Cole unfocused his eyes on command instead. Maybe the sun shone brighter today.

The high-altitude balancing or the cups were not what made him stay. Frankly, what else would he do? Where else would he go? Kai worked in the kitchen and disobeying Wu would just give him unnecessary trouble. Had he left with the others, the forest would get a chance to tease him further with its dangerous secrets.

Something about the place felt wrong. Something palpable but shrouded in mystery. When he occasionally managed to close his eyes at night, the growling canine’s luminescent glare revisited him.

“You seem to have been quite… preoccupied, lately. Both you and Kai.”

“Yeah, well. It's been kind of… messy.”

“With how much you've relied on each other for support, I must say I'm surprised with your recent lack of communication.”

“We’re like a pendulum, I reckon. It's not always easy. It'll work out, I’m sure, if that's what you're worried about.”

Wu studied him from under the brim of his hat, fingers absently smoothening his long, white beard. Single hairs reflecting sunlights as they shifted under the touch. Cole redirected his gaze to the blue sky. No details in the sky, just the safety of an endless field of blue.

“You’ve used my life lessons in battle before, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt if you took your experience from fighting to the personal issues.”

“Do you have anything specific in mind, Master Wu?”

“Concentration. It is crucial to remain concentrated when you want to achieve something. How do you expect your dispute to ‘work out’ if neither of you pay enough mind to it? You can't expect it to sizzle out on its own. You have to want to fix it and you have to be honest about it. You can’t expect your enemies to yield without any effort, Cole.”

“Are you mad we're dampening the mood again? I've been trying to get him to talk, you know?”

“Have you, Cole?”

That made his eyes abandon the safety of the sky and focus on the master's. They weren't as dark as the ones of his brother; they were clouded over like a misty night. Cole could see his own reflection despite the distance. He gave off the impression of a circus act in progress. He might’ve as well worn the huge clown shoes; he felt just as out of place.

“I’ve been,” he argued, only for his voice to drown out midway.

“As I said, you two seem distracted. There's more weight to your shoulders. You’re lacking the needed determination.”

His feet lacked steady ground beneath; his hands lacked freedom, yet he chose to entertain Wu. In a way, it worked in his favour, maybe the opportunity to fidget would be overly revealing, although Wu always knew more than he let on nevertheless. At least it gave him some sense of direction rather than the aimlessness of rotating through his frequented spots around the monastery.

“What’s the matter, Cole?”

He mulled the words around in his mind first. How much can he say without uncovering the elephant whatsoever?

“Sometimes… I wonder why all the evil we encounter has to exist, Wu.” He scratched at the wood. “Don’t get me wrong, I love a good fight, but does it always have to threaten our very existence?”

“Is this about what you and Kai went through recently?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they came back to tell us they were some sort of ancient wolves with an ancient grudge who want to conquer all sixteen realms, to be honest,” Cole muttered, eyes dropping. Maybe he could sweep later to clear the courtyard and his mind. Did no one notice the mess or was it just laziness?

“As unfortunate as it is, evil will always find its way into our lives. That’s the balance of life, of our very existence. Light and dark, evil and good; one cannot exist without the other.”

“No, I— I do understand that. Creation, destruction… But does evil always have to mark us for good?”

“Cole, do you know how diamonds are made?”

Scoffing–somehow back in school, apparently–Cole replied, “Pressure on the coal. That would be a terrible pun even for Kai.”

Wu ignored his remark. “The difficult times, Cole, they shape us into who we are. You could never reach your full potential if you weren’t challenged.”

“Iron sharpens iron,” the ninja murmured. His eyes closed as the memory brought more bitter taste to his tongue.

“You have to remember, Cole, that the grim times can make the joyous ones shine all the brighter.” Wu lowered his staff, holding onto it with both hands.

“Light can be overshadowed, though.”

“However, shadow can be lit up.”

Before Cole could process the words and decide whether or not to debate them, the door slid open. He winced, sending the cups tumbling down towards the courtyard and Wu dodged them in one, swift move. Kai watched the strange rain, words stuck in his throat, Cole watched Kai, heart pounding as he almost joined the cups. Wu considered the mess with an unreadable expression.

Kai’s eyes met his, he blinked, then he announced, “The food’s ready,” and retreated inside.

Jumping down, Cole assured Wu he would clean up the mess. He readjusted his grip on the, now vacant, plank under his master’s gaze.

“If you happen to crave some tea, your company is always welcome, Cole.”

“Sure, yeah.” Cole occupied himself by pushing one of the cups towards him using the plank. “I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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[novemberdevils]

very lonely. maybe i need to do more with that... how do I stop you from teasing me? But like please spoil more I beg you, jack makes me wants to study him because from my pov-meaning me and therapist friend over analysing everything- it feels that he is lonely in the way that doesn’t simply disappear when you are around loved ones because you spent a lot of time being set aside whether it was by choice or not but it make him cautious to every time he feels safe or at “home” as he will be waiting for the I guess carpet to be swept from underneath him because nothing could last for him you know??, also this is me making you overthink even more but I have no idea if you mentioned it and I somehow I completely overlooked it but did jack come up with any of the other drivers or did he go a completely different route? I feel if he did go a different route it would make his outcastness even more because it would mean no one really understands what he has gone through they only know what jack decides to tell.

Honestly poor carlos for dealing with nicojack because no matter how much he tries to guess what the fuck is going on with them he will never get it right because come on how can he thinks that they are fucking, chocking, and taking pictures of each other after having sex??, somehow being gentle with yourself is always harder and being yourself biggest critic can be really damaging but it’s nearly impossible to be gentle when you feel that you don’t deserve or want that gentleness even when it’s what you actually need, ohh ok thanks for explaining the luke and nico it makes more sense than nico being in his room; but both of them thinking that oh jack must come to his room but then they both find each other but not jack hilarious if you ask me, maybe that will be a scene i write from nico's perspective and put on tumblr actually... PLEASE DO IT 🙏 YOU CANNOT SAY THIS AND NOT DO IT, jack and luke are not even in the same genre of books let alone being on the same page they need a therapist and just talk, don't worry the liar will be revealed in monaco. i've already written the scene I LOVE YOU.

Tbh I don’t want this fic to end so the scene running away and writing itself makes me happy but I don’t think it makes you as happy, I need to know who was lying and why NOW or I might day, Yeah. the creative writing to aviation major pipeline doesn't exist i created it hey high five for going the pipeline that don’t exists mine is from computer science to forensic anthropology, also you being in aviation is insane like that must be some cool degree that you get to have not my forensic anthropology and digging around in dirt, yayy for them unlocking a new space hopefully next it would be buying a house together-too much?-.

But instead of saying anything sane or normal, Jack opens his mouth and says, “I wanna cash in.”

Nico barely looks at him. “What?”

“I want a picture of you like this,” Jack says. It sounds completely ridiculous now that he’s said it all out loud, but— “You owe me. From Imola.”

For a moment, Nico just blinks at him. Then, “Where’s your phone?” HOW DARE YOU!!!! I need more please please please get the chapter out now like this was the perfect snippet because it doesn’t give us anything major except for the pic so we will want to read more and see what lead to this I hate you.

i cannot remember what game this was about but i hope they didn’t fumble!! I too cannot remember what game it was but I remember they didn’t fumble it; it was maybe against the blues?? I have no clue, yeah jack is, as always, on the struggle bus me and him both but he has a nico and I don’t so im judging him for thinking bad, I feel this what makes jack more complex the fact he determines his worth over what he achieved so if he feels he didn’t meet the impossible expectations he set for himself he will not feel worthy of the love he gets, honestly i have also forgotten if jack told anyone about what carlos said in shanghai look I reread a couple of scenes last few days and I believe this was the first time he says carlos was the one who said that to him, and the thing with the quinn nico parallel with the control is that both of them meant it in different situations-nico the sex and quinn with general life- but jack still doesn’t believe either of them even when one proved that he was the one in control he still doesn’t believe that, also please yap about the playlist I need your thoughts about every song.

STOP BEING VAGUELY MEAN!!! You break my heart every time you tease, jack being noo nico is so nice to me he is the best but as soon as nico is in front of me and he doesn’t cater to every whim jack has he becomes the meanest person ever; nico I would say poor you but you were the one who chose to deal with the brattiness that is jack, the draisaitl and nico fight is quite literally everything for me so thanks for including it, unforch i do kind of like mclaren I unfortunately will have to inform you we should stop yapping to each other this is a betrayal I cannot handle or forgive, it’s evil as hell! It hurts as hell but sure you can use evil, omg please commission it I will chip in or give you ideas!!,  (which involved a notebook and a pen, it was getting serious in the campus library) you and me both a coworker of mine was telling me the other day like wow filling out reports even on your break I was not filling out reports.

No like sometimes a fic is so good but then you reach a smut section and it would be just bad smut and then you can’t continue it but yours ranks top three in the best smut I have ever read so you absolutely knocked out of the park, also you writers scare me because what do you mean you have these masterpiece laying around when I can’t even comment without commenting major crimes against the English language??? A round of applause because you 100% deserve it, ha ha. Images. the snippet i posted the other day references the cashing in thing but it arguably brings more questions than answers. point is he cashes in in the next chapter so Soon you will discover yeah I hate you, im glad that asking when the next chapter comes out doesn’t annoy you but please do take care of yourself I might be annoying you about the chapter but please always priority yourself, I can’t believe that we are already have reached Spain like I know there is still so many rounds left but im already experiencing withdrawal symptoms, I will be not so patiently waiting for the chapter!! 2/2

i will never stop teasing re: i am evil. so yeah jack is a very lonely guy. shoutout to the shit from pre-spain i just posted where he’s insistent that nico can’t be his friend because then he’s be his only friend… womp. and i have totally not mentioned it because i am a dumb who didn’t outline this fic lmao but. ? it’s Very much established that he was in karting with nico but nico is older so he went through the cars series faster — jack did come up through the standard f1 ladder (he’s an f3 & f2 champion, and in my head those are consecutive) but i never really specified who on the grid he raced against in those series… mathematically he should’ve come up around the same time as drysdale and holtz so let’s call that canon 😁 neither of them were ever FDA drivers so jack likely gave few fucks about them. also implied that it’s only jamie’s second year in f1 and it is jack’s. fourth. wait have i ever explicitly given the timeline or is it all implicit my bad don’t ask me what team jamie drove for in his rookie season i have no fucking idea. this is what i get for not planning anything

feeder series tangent aside. actually no. jack was too busy still giving a fuck about nico even when he wasn’t directly competing against him because he is a Crazy person. jack doesn’t even know what his f2 teammate is up to lmao like he didn’t care about anything except winning and getting an f1 drive. and did i ever imply that nico skipped f2. i cannot remember how max-coded i made the guy 😭 he won an f3 championship as established in ch5. jack you are a crazy person

carlos is actually fed up to the max even if he doesn’t know Exactly what anything is to be fed up with. he probably assumes some racing conspiracy shit not. crazy sex. the friend thing from the new chapter definitely threw carlos for a loop but he is highkey being a cartoon villain about it 😭 and yeah i love imagining nico coming into jack’s room and luke is just sitting there like wtf are you doing in here. i should write that scene. i know i’ve said i might. and. maybe. probably. there is a likelihood. don’t let me forget about that because literally i always remember i said i was going to write a scene from nico’s pov but i can never remember which scene i said. and it’s that one. so

MY BEAUTIFUL PIPELINE. i keep getting crazy emails and i’m like wtf have i gotten myself into. $25 fine if i don’t wear my id badge when required… like don’t you know i am coming from a major where you sit in a conference room with the worst people in the world and criticize each other. the switch up is insane lowkey

if i ever post a snippet i will post an evil snippet just know that 😈😈😈 now that the chapter is out i hope you liked the scene lol it’s one i’ve had cooking up in my brain for like a month and a half. maybe minus the taking a picture part. but like. the whole Concept of it. sometimes smut scenes can be. emotionally symbolic. is that the term i want? like. yknow. the taking control thing. and then. the spain one. uhh do with that what you will

yayyy glad they didn’t fumble Mystery Game! and so true jack puts a lot a lot of weight on his accomplishments, not to keep yapping about ch5 but in my defense it was like the only thing i looked at yesterday — he fr believes that not at minimum getting on the podium after his shit pit stop is as good as losing. like dawg. calm down. and thank you for the confirmation on the shanghai thing lmao i was pretty sure i had only implied that someone had said something mean to him. at this point, will jack ever refer to carlos as carlos again 😭 he’s been sainz for like ever. and on the control parallel — my beloved — nico does also mean in general life but him choosing to establish that thought during a sex thing was definitely. a choice. but he is very adamant in telling jack that he wants to know what he thinks, he wants jack to say and do what he wants without stopping to be concerned about how it will be received, but jack obviously sucks at that. either way he does not believe he is in control ever at any point in time. and i have admittedly started the unnecessary song analysis google doc so the thoughts are coming!

i will never stop being mean… nico has his reasons. lots of them. Ha. ha ha. and vouch on all the stuff about bad smut ruining a good fic 😭 like i hate to be that guy… but i have sooo many fic opinions oopsies. i’m glad you enjoy the scenes i write though thank you! and i have been writing for years and years and years so i did my time writing god awful smut, i have officially graduated to being. not terrible 😁

[andivmg]

do you ever see yourself going back to being a content creator?

(warning: accidental trauma dump ahead)

get out of my walls

i was JUST talking to my bf about this last night. i think about it a lot tbh. i’ve talked about it here a few times already but if i did go back to content creation it would be more vlog type stuff. like on some mai pham shit yk? it just makes me so nervous bro idk.

like idek how to describe it but the thing that’s holding me back the most i think is like social anxiety but make it online. i got so much hate and so many people being so mean and judgemental towards me that i now assume anything i post or anything i’m in will garner negativity. like i cannot even begin to explain to y’all how bad it is. i overthink everything i post, on instagram, on here… that’s why i rarely post on tiktok anymore like i can’t even really look at any video or picture without finding at least 10 immediate flaws wether it be in my appearance, how i’m talking, what i’m saying, literally if there is even one minuscule thing off, i will notice and not post.

the only post this doesn’t apply to is my anni post w danny bc there are some pictures there that i don’t look my best in but i was happy in the moment and that’s why it went up.

i think it’s easier for me to rant and post on here because i don’t actually have to speak. That comes with its own set of issues though. For example, you guys can’t tell my tone when i’m speaking, or the cadence of my voice. You can’t see my facial expressions, which sucks because i think i’m such an expressive person. i fr talk with my whole body, arms, face, everything. Obviously none of that translates here which i feel creates a disconnect between me (poster) and you (reader). I think i find comfort in that distance though. It’s almost like when you go through a really bad breakup and say you’re never letting people close enough to hurt you that way again. It’s like that for me.

So maybe one day i’ll return to making my own content and posting again. It’s definitely something i want to do. I’m just scared right now. And i don’t know when i’ll stop being scared.

[canirove]

Professor Rice | Chapter 7

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Masterlist

Veronica’s POV

I was definitely overthinking my outfit but not as much as I was overthinking everything that happened at the gym.

The reason why I was so upset with Declan was that he went from always finding an excuse to talk to me, to almost avoiding me. I hadn’t done anything wrong, had I? No, I hadn’t.

But then, today happened. He almost sounded desperate to talk to me. And he looked so sad when apologizing to me. I shouldn’t care, I shouldn’t care... but I do.

I ended up wearing a dress I had forgotten I owned, and left my hair down so it could dry with a natural curl. And yes, I put on some of Jo’s perfume. Sue me!

I got to the cafe ten minutes early, but Declan was already waiting at the door. Well, someone’s eager to talk.

“Hey.”

“Hi” he said, looking up from his phone. “You’re early.”

“You’re earlier” I laughed.

“Yeah, well... should we go inside?”

“Sure.”

He opened the door for me and we ordered our coffees. Once we sat at the table, I noticed Declan seemed to be lost in thought. I had to be the one who broke the ice.

“So, you wanted to talk?”

“I did, yeah. Again, I’m sorry if my behaviour hurt you. I didn’t want that to happen.”

“Thanks. But that was my fault, you did nothing wrong.”

He looked at me surprised. “Why would it be your fault?”

“Well” I blushed. “I just got upset because my professor paid more attention to me than to the others, and then one day he didn’t. It’s so silly. I’m not a child anymore.”

“I had to, Veronica.” I could see how defeated he looked, and I just wanted to hug him. But I didn’t, because I was not supposed to do that.

We kept on drinking our coffees in silence until he spoke again.

“You know what it looks like, right? A young professor who spends a lot of time with one of the students…”

“That’s why you cut me off all of a sudden? So people wouldn’t think there was something going on between us?”

He finally looked me in the eyes and nodded.

“Well” I continued. “You could have told me. I know it was my fault, so I would have done things differently or…”

“Your fault?” he laughed. “It was me who kept on approaching you. What were you supposed to do? Stop attending my class?”

I… didn’t know what to say. So I let him continue. “Maddison came to talk to me and she casually mentioned how much I was helping you and I freaked out. I could get in trouble, yeah. But I’m the one who is in a position of power. I’m likely to just get a slap on the wrist while you might lose your scholarship. And I’d never forgiven myself if that happened.”

Wow, that’s a lot deeper than what I expected.

“I... um, I don’t know what to say, to be honest. I’m not sure I fully understand what you’re trying to tell me” I said to him. Is he telling me that he likes me? Or is it me who wants to believe he’s saying that?

“I like you.” Well, that clarifies it. “A lot. And I shouldn't but... here we are.”

I could only stare at him. Was this really happening?

“I…”

“And, I mean, of course, I want to spend time with you. You are the person I want to spend time with the most. But don’t tell Mason, he gets jealous easily.”

What? “Yeah, I won’t.”

Why couldn’t I read his face right now? He looked sad, excited and terrified all at once.

“Feel free to run away now” he said. “I know how creepy this is. But please, don’t quit my class. Don’t let my foolishness affect your life. I won’t bother you during class, and I’ll be fair about grading your work.”

“I won’t quit your class. And it’s not creepy.” Well, maybe a little, but we won’t tell him that. “And, I mean, I was upset about you not talking to me because I also like you and I…”

“You do?” he cut me off. Why did he look so surprised? Didn’t he have mirrors at home?

“I mean, half of the class probably had a crush on you, but I got to talk to you and I felt... I don’t know, like I knew you. And I was always looking forward to hearing you calling my name after class. And when you didn’t I... I didn’t know how to feel.”

His phone started beeping. A lot. “Sorry, that’s Mason. He wants to know how everything is going.”

“Do you tell each other everything or something?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” When he saw my face, he quickly added “Well, not everything... everything. But we’ve been best friends our entire life so we just worry about each other.”

“Jo and I are the same” I said with a smile.

“So, how much does she hate me for hurting you? Should I run if I see her?”

“Well…” I laughed. “You’re not her favourite person, no.”

It was then that he held my hand, and I was pretty sure even my toes blushed.

“What can I do to earn her forgiveness?” he said, looking at my face with the softest look I’ve ever seen on him. How can those eyes be even real? “And yours?”

Kiss me? Marry me? Have my children?

“Being honest and not playing with my feelings sounds like a good starting point.”

Also...kiss me? Too soon? Ok.