#like look me in the eyes: wouldnt jason say “id love you even if you was the horse that ate my cousin”
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Today I realised, while describing Jason and Janet to my partner, that the reason I love them is that they are the same kinda ship as Tootsie and Megagirl
#when the southern himbo loves the helper robot#they are the same TO ME#Except their moral alignments are switched. What a day to be alive.#ive been rewatching The Good Place since ive only seen it once and never rewatched it with the context of the ending#and after figuring this out all i could hear is DOWNLOADING NEW EMOTION -- IT IS LOVE when janet begins to get more advanced#like look me in the eyes: wouldnt jason say “id love you even if you was the horse that ate my cousin”#the good place#starkid#starkid starship#starship#jason and janet#jason x janet#jason mendoza#janet good place#tootsie megagirl
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Daminette Rough Layout AU #1
Warning- This is a Salt AU, it contains Lila salt, Adrien Salt, Alya Salt and Class Salt. Some of the Salt is dramatized, pkease read at your own digression.
Note- Changing things up a bit-they are in high school now-Damian 16 and Marinette 15 and juniors, obviously things are different from canon. Gabriel gave up both miraculous after Adrien dies in one of the akuma fights, he has Nooroo and Duusu bring them to the guardian. Marinette helps heal Duusu so that if he is ever used again the holder will not start to die. Soon after Master Fu takes back Adrien's miraculous and names Marinette the guardian.
He doesnt lose his memories but he does pass away a week later. Marinette also deletes her original website and makes and entire new one under MDC designs after Lila threatens to leave bad reviews.(This happens before she meets Damian, right when they are entering high school.)
They met online after Damian got tired of his brothers making fun of him for talking like an old man. He found Marinette on Twitter, (She has a very popular Twitter blog where she Tweets in English and is considered a meme god.) and after reading her tweets decided that she'd be a good teacher.
After reaching out they agreed on how much she'll be paid and a time that works best for both of them. Every Monday & Wednesday the video chat when Damian has his lunch and study period. For Damian it is 12 to 1 pm, and for Marinette it is 7 to 8 pm. After two months Marinette has successfully made Damian her friend, and he has began opening up to her more. Meanwhile Damian begins to mess with his brothers using memes.
Tim to Jason- I will die if I don't get coffee soon.
Damian passing by the kitchen on his phone- Then perish.
Jason-...Did he just?
Tim- Impossible.
_____________
Dick over the coms while on patrol-I really want candy right now.
Damian drops down next to him and pulls a tidepod of of his belt giving it to Dick before continuing on.
Dick-What the fuck...
Tim having seen from a distance-What did Damian give you candy?
Dick- He gave me a tidepod.
Jason-Your shitting me Goldie.
______________
Jason-What are you eating Damian?
Damian taking a bite of a pop tart- Ravioli...
Jason-Im going fucking crazy.
Alfred-Language Master Jason.
They now text each other durning their free time, Marinette loves receiving pictures of Damian's pets and silly pictures of Damian's friend Jon. Damian loves seeing pictures of her newest designs and Paris at night.
Jon is the only person who knows about Marinette and thats because he crashed one of Damian's classes. He gushes over the fact that Damian is talking to his favorite person on Twitter, then full on fanboys a second later when she follows him back on Twitter. Soon after she becomes friends with Jon too, Lila comes back. After two weeks of fighting her she stops after both Damian and Jon point out that if her classmates were really her friends they wouldnt believe someone they just met over her. Marinette stops doing extra things for the class no more free pastries, banners, clothes or anything. She spends majority of her time on school work, her comissions and talking with Damian and Jon.
Madame Bustier at one point asks her to stay after class. She tells her she is disappointed that Marinette is distancing herself form the class so much. Marinette just tells her that she is done, that if she wants a perfect role model then she should use Lila instead and leaves. The next day she tells Madame Bustier she is stepping down as class president, everyone in the class except for Chloe and Marinette vote for Lila. Marinette has had more free time then she has had in a while and is thriving. She is able to take more and more commissions and even allows Jagged and Clara to give other celebrities access to her website. With a push from Jon she also sets up a Twitter and Instagram account under MDC Designs. With in no time everyone is trying to get an MDC original.
At one point she gets a call from Jon asking her how much it would cost for a MDC original for his mom. Marinette smiles softly telling him to just get his moms measurements for her. When he argues she finally agrees to accept payment but gives him a family discount. Jon agrees with a huff, a month later Jon sends her a video of his mom opening his gift.
Lois-Oh Jon love you know you didnt have to get me anything.
Jon-And let Connor out do me this year? No way.
Connor laughing-Oh shut it Jon!
Jon-cone on open it already mom!
Lois lauging before unwrapping the box- Is this? Jon is this a MDC box?
Connor looking at him with wide eyes.
Jon-open it and see!
Clark-So thats why you asked me for her measurements.
Lois pulls a beautiful knee length navy blue pencil dress. It had a classy V neck and flounce bell sleeves Jon is this and MDC original?
Jon-weeell if you look at the inside of the right sleeve your see her signature marking. Thats not all though mom theres another box!
Lois grabs the other box and unwraps it opening it quickly to find a pair of white lace up Oxford pumps with matching navy laces, MDC hand stitched on the back in navy.
Lois-How did you-how did you get MDC originals?
Jon laughing-I'll never tell!
Marinette saves the video on her phone and tells him he wants a photo of her in it for her website. A week later he send her pictures of his mom in the outfit posing with his dad and the next day he send pictures of her posing with Bruce Wayne on the red carpet. She quickly posts them on Instagram and Twitter tagging Lois, Clark, Bruce and Daily Planet.
'I knew Mrs. Lane would make this one of a kind outfit look beautiful! I was happy to make the dress and shoes as a surprise from her son! Mrs. Lane your son has my number, if you ever want another original talk to him! 💋'
Lois immediately responds to her tweet thank her for the amazing gift, while also asking how her son got in contact with MDC.
Marinette- ' 🤫🤫😘😘💋'
Jon-'You'll never know!!'
Lois, with her bosses approval, writes an article joking about the mystery that is MDC at also an interview where she grills her son on how he knows MDC.
Its a blows up and part of Jon's interview becomes a meme. This part;
Jon-Superman, please come save me from my mom!
Marinette being the meme godess she is decides to quote it on Twitter, but she messes up and posts it on MDC desgins.
MDC-Superman, please come save me from these deadlines!
Half an hour later
MDC-That was meant for my personal Twitter...
Now everyone is also talking about MDC memeing.
After talking with the Kwami Marinette decides to tell Damian and Jon about her time as Ladybug, and how she still goes out and patrols to stop muggers. In return one day Damian and Jon flies him and Damian to paris and they finally meet in person and they tell her their own identities. They leave Gotham at 7 am in Gotham and make it to Paris at 3 pm and wait for her outside of her parents bakery. Marinette flips out and practically tackles the both if them in a hug. She pulls them inside happily introducing her parents to her American friends. After they tell her they decide to spend the rest of the day together. Marinette also takes their measurements telling them its for a surprise. Damian tells her that his brothers are obsessed with MDC and how the wouldnt stop hounding Jon when they found out he had gotten in contact with her.
They go out and Marinette shows them Paris while Jon is slowly pushing them together. He is ecstatic when Marinette wraps one of her fingers around Damien's finger and he respond by grabbing and holding her hand. They are all immensly happy until they are passing by a park and notices her class having a party. At first she doesnt care and just shrugs it off, until the class notices them. Alya accuses Marinette of trying to start drama, she rolls her eyes telling Alya she didnt even know about the party and was just showing her friends around. Damian frowns glaring at the class when he feels Marinette hand start to shake and releases her hand wrapping an arm around her waist in support. Jon is also frowning but simply reminds Marinette that they were going out to eat. Marinette nods and begins telling them about the restaurant they were going to while leaning into Damian's side.
They turn leaving the class behind only for Adrien to hurry after them. Adrien tries to convince Marinette to return and spend time with the class saying he missed his friend. Marinette tells him that they arent friends anymore, that friends dont allow lies to be spread about their friends. She takes the boys and they finally make it to the restaurant.
Damian pays refusing to let Marinette or Jon touch the check. They spend the rest of their time at Marinette's house watching movies until they leave at 9pm wishing Marinette goodnight and making it back to Gotham at 3 pm. When they get back to the manor Bruce confronts Damian asking why he got notified that Damian's card had been used in Paris. Thats how Bruce finds out about Marinette.
Bruce- shes been teaching you memes?
Damian-yes.
Bruce-...well at least your making friends.
Damian-dont tell the others, they'll want to meet her and Id rather not be embarrassed
Bruce-I wont say anything until they catch you then.
Around the end of Marinette's junior year Lila accuses Marinette of theft and she is once again expelled. Only this time Marinette gets the school board involved and she is quickly cleared of charges. once again. However she decides not to return to the school tired of their treatment. Instead with the help of Jagged and her parents permission she enrolls at Gotham Academy and doesnt tell Damian to surprise him. Jon does know that way he could help her.
Within the week Marinette is in Gotham in her new penthouse apartment with her new gaurdian, a maid/nanny that Penny had recommended. Her name is Margaery she is in her 60s. The next day Marinette is dropped of at school by Margaery, Jon is already there early and helps her get his schedule and everything. Then they wait for Damian to arrive hiding until the see him open his locker Jon distracts him while Marinette hides behind the locker door. The school is very surprised whe. Damian smiles brightly at seeing her. Within the day she is known around the school as both Sunshine and Gotham's new Goddess.
Soon enough Damian Marinette and Jon are never seen withiut tge other except in classes. Many teachers see Marinette as a blessing classes have been calmer shes always willing to volunteer and shes even started tutoring some of the students. Even though she entered late in the year she starts to help the student council and things were more organized and running smoother. What everyone is really happy about is how she seems to bring out the teen in Damian and encourage him to act his age. The only reason they havent posted about her and Damian's relationship is because Damian made it clear he didnt want his family to know.
He starts calling her Angel and Red Bird. Marinette starts calling him Dove and Birdie. They slowly start going on dates while also making sure to hang out with Jon so he didnt feel left behind. Its the beginning of summer when Marinette gets invited to a Wayne gala by Bruce himself with a little note.
'Miss Dupain-Cheng, I would like to meet the girl that has stolen my youngest's attention. Please do not inform him I invited you, I think it will be quite the surprise for him. -Bruce Wayne
She tells Damian to wear a seafoam green tie because it will bring out his eyes, in a sly way so that they will be matching. She then makes a seafoam green Asymmetrical A-line off the shoulders dress adding layers of tulle that forms teirs and finishes with horsehair hemlines. The MDC signature is stictched on to the second layer of tulle.
The night of the Gala she is dropped off by Margaery and Jon leaves his parents to meet her. She tells him that Damian didnt know either and Bruce wanted to surprise him. Jon starts laughing causing Marinette to dissolve into giggles. This catches Jon's parents eyes and they walk over. Jon wuickly introduces her as one of his best friends. Lois and Marinette quickly hit it off and enter the gala together with Jon and Clark following behind them. After 5 minutes Damian spots them, and discreetly hurries over to them.
Damian-Angel!
Lois and Clark are surprised at the nickname and that Damian is smiling even more surprised when he hugs her and holds her hand gently. They stare into each others eyes for a moment until Lois coughs catching boths attention. Damian greets them as he lets go of Marinette's hand wrapping an arm around her waist as she does the same. They stand talking with each other until Lois spots someone she wants to interview and hurries off with Clark. The three of them share a look before all saying food at once. Jon walks ahead of them as Marinette and Damian follow talking to themselves.
M-'Your father wanted to meet me so Im afraid I will no longer be a secret.'
D-'Of course he did, I was hoping to keep those embarrassments known as my brothers away.'
This causes Marinette to laugh leaning her head on his shoulder.
M-'I am sure they arent that bad.'
They spend a good half hour talking with Jon and eating before Bruce finds them and introduces himself to Marinette. Five minutes later she notices Damian's brothers starring at them in shock. She starts giggling and points it out to Damian who groans. Soon after the boys rush over to interrogate their brother dragging him away from Marinette Jon and Bruce.
While Damian is dealing with them Jagged and Penny both find Marinette. Eventually the boys force Damian to introduce them to Marinette. She hits it off with all of them promising to visit the mansion. Jon convinces Damian to ask Marinette to be his girlfriend. He asks her to dance with him and asks while they are dancing. That night Marinette Damian and Jon leave together for an impromptu sleepover at Marinette's. Margaery picks them up greeting both parents and assuring them that there kids will be safe, and they will be camping out in the living room.
Marinette surprises the boys with handmade pjs once they get to her house and Margaery surprises them with cookies. The next day she goes to the mansion with Damian and gets to know his brothers more piecing together who is who of the Batfamily. At one point Jason insinuates that Marinette couldnt fight so she challenges his to a spar. Jason being cocky holds back and gets his butt kicked, he asks for a rematch and doesnt hold back this time, still gets his butt kicked.
While Damian and Marinette are saying goodbye she jokes about how long its going to take his siblings to realize shes a hero not a civilian. Damian finds it hilarious. When Marinette gets home she tells Margaery that she was going up to the roof to look at the stars for inspiration. Margaery allows her making her take a blanket, hor chocolate and some cookies with her. That night Nightwing lands on her roof and 'startles' causing her to throw her cup at him hitting him in the gut
Robin chuckling-That bitch empty,
Mari and Robin together-Yeet!
Marinette laughs offering him a cookie as Nightwing gets up
Nightwing-Nice throw.
Marinette laughs harder her eyes twinkling.
Mari-Sorry you startled me I must have lost track of time I should head back home now. Have a safe patrol Birdies!
She says before passing other of them leaving the plate of cookies behind for them. Over the summer Marinette and Damian visit her parents for two weeks before returning to Gotham. The rest of the summer is filled with dates between her and Damian the Gotham Gazette is having a field day with them.
They're referred to as the Goddess and the Prince and every date is talked about the next day. When summer is over Marinette Damian and Jon are back for their senior year. Marinette decides to run for student body president and Jon runs as her vice president, they both tease Damian about being the trophy boyfriend and he responds that he is fine with it as long as hes the trophy boyfriend to Marinette. Marinette and Jon win with an almost unanimous vote. It is half way through their senior year when Damian's brothers realize she knows. Bruce and Babs already know. Jason teasingly jokes about Damian outing them to a civilian and Marinette jist goes
Marinette-Jayby(This is her nickname for him), I have beaten you in spars 9 out of 10 times and you still think Im a civilian.
Tim-What?
Marinette sighs before calling Tiki out and transforming. (She has a different outfit. Period. Her hair is pulled into a high ponytail, held by a red ribbon. It has a completely black mask, her top was sleeveless and was a deep red. She had gloves that stopped at her elbows the same deep red but with black poka-dots. Her pants were completely black with a red belt holding her yoyo. Her outfit was finished with red combat boots with black soles.) Everyone is silent as they taken in her outfit.
Damian-God your so beautiful.
Marinette-Aw Dove
Que a sweet kiss where Jason gags jokingly before Tim flips out about her being Ladybug. Marinette jokingly says that he didnt react that way to her being MDC.
Tim-what?
Dick-This time your oulling my leg.
Marinette-You didnt know? I was always giving you guys family discounts.
Tim-Your MDC...my favorite fashion designer is my future sister-in-law. Thats why your commissions always seemed cheaper than others. Im chalant right now.
This causes Dick to burst out laughing.
Dick-Really becuase Im whelmed!
Bruce smiles slightly remembering when his eldest would use to his 'Unwords' all the time.
That night Marinette patrols with them and Gotham gains a new hero LadyBird. With a little shove from Damian and begging from Tim, Marinette begins to grow MDC even more by partnering with Wayne Enterprises. Marinette and Damian are the power couple of the school, they have majority of their classes together both being in AP and Honors classes. As the school president Marinette is notified that during the last quarter of second semester a French class is doing an exchange program at Gotham Academy.
Her and Jon have to escort them around the school the first week. Marinette argues a bit at first.
Mari-I understand that it is important but Jon and I are still heavily working on Prom, Senior's Last Peprally, Senior Awards, Senior vs Freshman Football, Prom King and Queen vote and The Senior trip.
Jon-Mari is right is there anyway we could pick someone else to show them around. There are a few other people in student council that speak French.
They both convince the Principal to allow the Secretary of the Student Council, Candy St.Cloud, to show them around. Marinette, Jon and Damian avoid them, none of Marinette's old class knows Marinette is there until votes for Prom King and Queen pops up and Marinette's name is on the ballet.
Lila bursts into tears claiming her Dami promised her she'd be on the ballet since he goes to that school. They all try to hunt her down and give her shit for booting Lila off. However majority of Gotham academy has noticed their attitude towards Gotham's Goddess and everyone makes sure Marinette is unreachable.
They pretty much only see glimpses of her until Senior's Last Peprally when she and Damian are announced Prom King and Queen. Their boos are covered up by the school's cheers. Marinette and Damian share a quick kiss which causes more cheers as the teachers roll their eyes calling out Pda. Then both her and Jon announce whats going to be happening at the peprally.
At the end of it all the seniors get together for one last class photo in the front is Jon Marinette and Damian. Damian and Marinette are wearing the sashes and crowns and Marinette is in the middle of them. Bustier's class is upset they cant be a part of the picture because they arent actually seniors at the school. The next night is Senior awards the class doesnt go but the trio does.
Marinette and Damian get best couple.
Damian gets the award for best grades.
Jon gets the award for most likely to secede in life.
That night all three are on the news and trending on Twitter when they go out to celebrate at Bat Burger, videos and pictures are posted off Marinette and Jon dying of laughter as Damian cuts his burger with a knife and fork. At the hotel Lila is crying claiming that Damian is cheating in her with Marinette. The class continuously message Marinette even when they get a response saying that the person is not Marinette amd that they've had the number for two months.
The next day at lunch they confront Marinette, they followed Jon to the room the Student council eat lunch in. Que them berating Marinette infront of everyone including the teachers. Marinette just rolls her eyes not wanting to give them the time of day.
Alya-I cant believe you tricked Lila's boyfriend into dating a bully like you!
This causes Jon to launch to her defense, he steps in front of Marinette glaring at the class.
Jon-Lila's boyfriend?? You mean Damian, so Lila was dating Damian first?
Lila-Yes! And Marinette purposely seduced him!
Jon-Really tell me when did you firat meet Damian?
Lila-oh he was so sweet! It was when we were 6 and we met at a gala here in Gotham! A older women was being incredibly mean to me and he stood up for me telling me that he'd have his dad kick her out. We were always meeting up over the summer and started dating at the beginning of senior year!
Jon-Oh so you know Arabic?
Lila-What?
Jon smirking-Well Damian didnt learn English until he was 8, his first language is English. Also you couldn't possibly have met Damian here when he was 6 because Damian didn't come to Gotham until he was 10. When his dad was informed that he had a son. On top of that Damian spends every summer with his family and closest friends. Actually he usually spends a few weeks on my family's farm, this summer he didnt because he went to Paris with Marinette. Also at the beginning of senior year? St. Cloud, when did Damian ask Marinette out.
St. Cloud- Beginning of the summer at Mr. Wayne's first charity gala of the summer, he asked her while they were dancing. It was really cute and Marinette looked amazing in her MDC dress!
Mari-Thank you St. Cloud, I could give you her number if you'd like a dress
Lila runs away embarrassed the class starring at Jon and Marinette in shock.
Alya-who-who do you think you are?!
Mari-Alya do you really not recognize your idols son?
Marinette is disappointed as she introduces them to Jon Kent, after that the teacher finally forces the French class out, while also telling them how kuch trouble they'll be in.
The class starts trying to get on Marinette's good side for the rest of the year but she ignores them. Prom comes and goes and when its finally time for graduation Damian is valedictorian. He gives a fairly inspirational speech and at the end he smirks finishing it with.
Dami-And lastly I would like to thank my eldest brother, without him Id never be able to give this sappy inspirational speech, he is really good at them.
When they throw their caps in the air Damian finds Marinette and dips her pulling her into a deep kiss.
That night while they are all celebrating at the Wayne Mansion Marinette finally lets go of Paris, she decides that her place is in Gotham with Damian.
Lets do a time skip!
Marinette is the top name in Fashion, Damian is Co-Ceo of Wayne enterprises with Tim. They are both married and living in Marinette's penthouse together with Margaery, I am to emotionally invested to kill off her or Alfred even if it is do to age. They visit the mansion almost every day, and family dinners are common.
Jon started going out with St. Cloud and are engaged, he has also taken up the mantle of Superman.
Damian has taken up the mantle of Batman with his Robin, Johnn'i Thomas Grayson-Wayne, Richard and Koriand'r's second child that did not inherit his mothers powers, and his partner Ladybird. That is until Marinette discovers she is pregnant. She surprises the family while they are getting their family portrait redone, with only Kori and the photographer knowing.
All the girls are in chairs with the boys behind them. Seating goes.
Babs, Kate, Selina, Marinette, Kori, Stephanie, and Cass. For a few of the pictures Marinette holds up a sign saying, "Another Wayne is on the way!" Then they hide the sign so they have a regular family portrait.
A few days later when the entire family is gathered to see the photos they are surprised when Bruce stars at them in shock. Alfred and Margaery merly smile offering congratulations, everyone is confused until Bruce turns the picture around.
Damian is looking at the pictures in shock until he jumps up and picks up Marinette spinning her around. Soon everyone is screaming and cheering offering congratulations. While Damian and Marinette hold each other close crying softly.
Mari-Your gonna be a Daddy Dove.
Damian-I love you so much Marinette. So much.
#ml x dc#platonic jonette#lila salt#alya+salt#marinette dupen chang#adrien salt#class salt#daminette#jon and damian#damian al ghul#damian wayne#damimari#maribat#mlb x dc#miraculous ladybug#batman#dc universe#dc comics#jon kent#salt fic#fanfic
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Salt, Tequila, Lemon - Jason Todd x Reader
Please read this intro, thank you very much :
So. I posted this yesterday, but after a bug on the Tumblr app on my phone it got deleted. I’m super bummed out because it had over 200 notes and quite a few feedbacks that I never got to read because it was accidentally deleted...If the people that took the time to comment things on the story could take a bit more time to write a little comment again and give me their feedbacks, and also if the people that liked and reblog could do it once more...i’d appreciate the hell out of you <3. So reposting it (thanks god I always have back ups of all my stories now). Written in twenty minutes during my break at work. Bam. Hope you’ll like it :
Also, since Tumblr’s new guidelines and enforcement of it, I DON’T really appear in searches anymore, so the only way for this story to be seen by others than those who follow me is to reblog it. So if you wanna, you can show your support for my writing by doing just that. Thanks very much. You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives
_________________________________________________
Ok. So. Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Oh, right.
Salt. Tequila. Lemon.
Got it. Licking the back of your hand to make the salt stick to it, you pour yourself a massive shot of “To-Kill-Ya” in your coffee mug, not even caring about the fact that there is still some remnant of your cappuccino from last night in it.
You focus on the sound the liquid makes as it fills your cup. Makes you think about something else. Good. Yup. This was totally gonna help right now.
“Cheers”, you exclaim to yourself, your empty apartment echoing your voice.
Salt.
Wincing. Stingy. Salt on its own is gross.
Tequila.
More wincing. Oh my god, it burns. The coffee that was still at the bottom of the cup is an oddly nice touch.
Lemon.
The last of the Wincing.
You spit the piece of lemon you just bit into in the trash and…miss. The yellow fruit falls with a little flat sound on the floor, and you honestly can’t bother to pick it up. Your apartment is a mess anyway, so you just stare at it angrily and pour yourself another drink.
Salt. Tequila. Lemon.
You gulp the last of the citrus and shiver. Miss the trash again.
Damn. This was good.
Well, actually, it was disgusting.
You didn’t like strong alcohol and what the Hell ?! Why did you leave a bit of coffee in your cup ? Now that the aftertaste was kicking in, it was actually really gross. If the tequila itself didn’t make you wanna throw up, the stale coffee taste nearly did. Oh, and the salt and lemon combination was as awful as ever.
You really didn’t like salt, tequila, or lemon.
But it was still good.
Because thanks to all this immediate awfulness, you could slowly feel yourself drift into “haze land”, and forget about your worries.
Forget that your boyfriend of two years just cheated on you with some random woman you worked with. Woman that, by the way, he met at the Christmas “end of the year” party from you work you invited him to…You gave him free champagne and mise-en-bouche and all your love, and he broke your heart.
It wasn’t your thing, to drink your sorrow away. And it wasn’t your thing either to wallow because of a man…But you genuinely thought he was “the one” (oh what a mistake you would soon realize that was).
He was always so nice, treating you like a princess. He complimented you daily, and never forgot an important date. He was affectionate, not to an annoying point. He was the perfectamount of affectionate. He was a gentleman and seemed to love you and yet, he betrayed you.
If a man like him, that was nothing short but sweet and passionate with you, cheated on you, then did that mean you couldn’t trust anyone ?
Because in your eyes right now, he was perfect. Albeit said eyes were slightly clouded by a a few tequila shots.
You were downing a fourth drink starting to slowly sob when…
There’s very few things that can get you out of a drunk state in seconds.
An extremely cold shower could do the trick, for instance. Brings you back to your senses a bit you know ? You wouldn’t magically be sober, but you’d get a clearer mind. Or someone giving you shocking news ! Or like, an event so incredible that your body just forgets how drunk it is for a minute.
And this event, for you, came at the perfect time.
Right when you were entering your “sad drunk” phase, which was between the “lol alcohol does NOTHING to me” phase where you downed most of your drinks, and the “dancing on the bar’s counter” phase (a few more drinks and you would have a one woman dance party in your living room, acting as if you were on a bar’s counter and that your name was suddenly “Britney”).
Right when you were about to wallow times a thousand, and cry, and yell “whyyyyyyy ?!” to the sky, arms in the air (drama queen).
Years later, looking back on that particular event, you’ll start to realize that Destiny HAS to exist. Because come on, it was just too perfect a timing to be a simple coincidence.
You were about to swallow up your fifth drink, launching yourself head first into the “sad phase” when an ear shattering noise rang all around your apartment.
Broken glass.
It was the sound of broken glass. Heightened to the max by your drunkness. You turned on your stool, and…there he was.
It was a guy. That you were sure of because he had no boobs and too much pecs. And that guy…well that guy just flew right through your window, destroying it. How rude.
There was glass everywhere.
How much did a window cost ? Probably a fortune.
You wondered briefly if you could just use aluminium foil and tape the shit up. There was nothing of value to steal in your apartment anyway, and if aluminium foil could keep meals warm, it definitely worked with a house too right ?
You sobered up quite a bit, but you were also very drunk when this event happened, so your mind was still in that cloudy weird phase where your priorities were…interesting.
You worried more about the broken window at first, than about that guy who just launched through it.
A guy.
Not just any guy.
You saw that guy before.
He was one of those night vigilante your crazy hometown was filled with…RED HOOD !!
“Thick thighs”, is the first thing you thought right after you recognized him (priorities).
The second thing you thought was that you needed another drink, and so you downed what was your fifth one, but with that crazy thing happening ended up being on the same level as if it was a second one. You were tipsy, but not “drunk” anymore.
The third thing that came to your mind was…Is he still alive ?
No cause, he was like, just laying there, on your living room’s floor, not moving.
“…Outch.”
Oh. He spoke.
So he ain’t dead. Good, means you can have another drink then, you don’t need a clear mind to call an ambulance or something.
Oddly enough, in your half-drunk half-sober state, this sounded completely reasonable. Nevermind if Red Hood had some internal bleeding or something. He talked. He was probably fine.
A minute passed, and you just sat there, sipping up your tequila in between taking a pinch of salt and biting into a piece of lemon.
Salt, tequila, lemon. Great remedy against heartbreaks.
Wait, were you heartbroken ? Really ? You couldn’t really recall that fact now. But, yeah…it was the reason why you were drinking right ? Because right now, all you could think about was the fact that this Red hood guy had abs for days…
This unforeseen event sobered you up quite a bit, but the two shots you just took kinda brought you back to the same state than you were before.
Well. Not quite. You were drunk as hell again, but seemed to have avoided the “sad phase”. Instead, Red Hood bursting quite literally through your window took you to another road.
The : “Cool, I got a drinking buddy phase”. Well, taking for granted he didn’t have any internal bleeding and wouldn’t die while biting into a lemon wedge.
“Tough day ?”
You ask him, as he slowly sits up and shakes his head, trying to regain his senses. He looks towards you and seem surprised (or at least you think he is, because he wears a mask so…kinda hard to tell).
************
Jason definitely thought he was alone in this place, because no sane person would just sit there, not saying anything, as someone simply jumped through their window. Nope, most people would just freak out. Scream.
He knows, because it’s not the first time he falls through a window during a night on duty. And every single time it happened, people freaked out. Screamed. Threw stuffs at him, or hid away begging for their life to be spared.
And yet here you were, half a bottle of tequila in front of you, surrounded by lemon wedges you bit into, and table salt all over your hand, just staring at him curiously. And did you just say : “tough day” ?
Well, Jason guessed the empty half of the bottle was why you were so chilled about it all. He sat up, and slowly got back to his feet.
Usually, going through a window meant the end of the night for him. He’d go back to one of his secret stash, patch himself up and get some rest. Most of the time, he fell through windows because someone pushed him or threw him there…Though today, he just embarrassingly missed a step and fell by himself.
Of course, no one would ever now he tripped while jumping from one building to another (you lived on the last floor) and went careening into your home (and life). Nope, the official story would be that he fought a fierce enemy and was thrown into that window. Finding fake villains name was easy, given how truly ridiculous some could be.
Tim and Damian were still after the “Illusive Blue Man” that he totally made up that one time he walked into a poll and had a huge black eye that he couldn’t quite explain…Oh man, he had to stop telling such elaborate lies and just say “I fought with a few guys last night” without more explanation.
But he couldn’t help it. And those kids believed everything he said, it was too tempting…But for now, this wasn’t the issue. Nope.
He did a quick check of his body and knew he wasn’t really hurt (thanks “dad” for the amazing body armor ugh ?), so he was planning on leaving that poor girl’s house and send a mystery check in the mail to pay for the damage (money stolen from a certain Bruce Wayne of course, as if he would pay himself).
Yup. He was just gonna stand up, and go on his way and…somehow, he found himself sitting on the stool opposite side of this mysterious girl, and now she was peppering salt on his hand ?
“Salt”, she says, and she has a cute drunk voice. Jason almost forgets he just went through a window a few minutes ago.
“Tequila”, she continues, downing her drink and pointing at the one she poured him. He doesn’t even care the she poured it in a cereal bowl that she didn’t even seem to have clean…He drunk worst things in worst recipient. He turns away to take off his mask and so that she can’t see his face, and “bottom’s up”.
“Lemon !” she finishes, biting into the sour fruit and spitting it in the direction of the trashcan but missing completely. The lemon wedge goes to lost itself amongst his fallen brothers…
Jason bites into his own lemons, and spits it. Right into the garbage.
There’s a slight pause, where she just stares at the trashcan, and then at Jason, back to the trashcan, and then turns to him again and simply says :
“Wow.”
************
So. This was surreal.
Here you were. In your home. Taking tequila shots. With…Red Hood.
One of Gotham’s night vigilante. The most violent one. But the dude seemed chilled. He was holding his liquor really well.
And now you were talking about your broken heart, telling him the story as if he’d been your friend for years. And he was listening. Intently. And reacting to what you were saying. It had been a LONG time, since you had this kind of talk with anyone, and despite the fact you were drunk, you still noticed how nice it felt to have someone to talk to. Someone that genuinely listened.
“And then he slept with her !” you say angrily.
“Nooooooo !?!”
“Yes, he did ! He slept with…with…what was her name…”
“Nicole. From accounting.”
“Right, Nicole from accounting ! That bitch ! She always just…counts and shit ! And he slept with her ! Nicole from accounting ! Whom he met thanks to me, by the way ! At a partyyyy !! At my wooooork !!”
“What an ass.”
“Right ?! Oh but he had such a good ass though…Quite firm. But whenever he wore jeans, it was super flat.”
“So, not such a good ass in the end then ?”
“I guess not. You have a good ass. Popping right out in this outfit of yours.”
Red Hood chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes you forget that you just said something incredibly embarrassing. His voice is…nice. Deep. Manly. You like it. You wanna make him chuckle some more, so you say, hoping :
“And it looks very firm. Not just quite firm.”
It works. He snorts and it’s very cute. Oh wow. He can be sexy and cute. Full package. You smile a bit dreamily.
For a second, he’s lost in that smile of yours, and there’s a silence installing itself in the room. A comfortable one. That you break :
“Ok. So now, he’s not that perfect anymore ! He got no ass ! Penalty points ! I never notice how un-assed he was before…”
Jason smiles and damn. He’s hot.
Somewhere along the way, he stopped turning his face away from you whenever he took a shot, and just ended up taking his helmet off. He was probably hoping that you’d black out or something, so you wouldn’t remember his face (or he just didn’t care).
In any case, you were pretty sure you never saw him before. His face kinda reminded you of an old memory. Of someone you saw somewhere long ago, when you were a kid…Which wasn’t really a big help right ?
Right. You had no idea who he was. And in your drunken state, probably couldn’t piece anything together anyway. So even if you did know who he could be, you wouldn’t know in the end anyway…Makes perfect sense right ?
What you knew was : he’s hot.
This white streak in his hair did something to you that you couldn’t explain. And that jawline ? You would love to get cut on that bitch. It could actually cut a bitch, you were sure of it. Those blue eyes ? You’ve never seen someone with such blue eyes. And did you mention to yourself how muscular he was ? Because man you only saw guys like this in magazines !
But beyond his handsome features, he seemed like a nice guy. Like he was listening to you, a total stranger. And this realization suddenly raised your guard up.
You also thought that your ex-cheating-boyfriend was a nice guy. And come to think of it, who the hell just barge in someone’s home like that, and actually stay to drink tequila shots ?! Wait but…in your guts…it’s not like with your ex.
You don’t think he’s a nice guy. You know he is.
************
There’s a visible shift in your mood, after this realization. So far, you talked to him about your broken heart freely, and he listened.
Oddly enough, no words that came out of your (perfect) mouth bored him. Jason wasn’t sure wether it was the alcohol or not, but you captivated him.
But in a split second, and without him knowing why, your features changed. You were now frowning. Like an unhappy little kid. It was kinda cute, but he didn’t like it because…why were you frowning ?
He tries to lighten up the mood and says :
“Well here you go. See, you didn’t loose the perfect guy, his ass was flat in jeans. Can’t work with that, can you ? I bet we can find other flaws. Make you realize he actually was a looser.”
Your guard is up, but you can’t help but smile a bit, plus you were frowning just now because you realized you just knew you could trust that total stranger, and it was so weird….
Besides, no harm in indulging this, because you’re pretty sure it’ll make you feel better to try and see the bad side of your ex-boyfriend, not just his good ones. No one was perfect. And so, still a bit careful, you say :
“Well…He never got any of my Tv shows or movie references.”
“Well, here’s a point to take off of his “perfectness”. Doesn’t get pop culture references. Deal breaker.”
“Yeah…Yeah you’re right. It is. He also used to hate when I made jokes. I like puns ya know ? Terrible ones. Well, he was always embarrassed whenever I made them in public.”
“Ashamed of his girlfriend, doesn’t sound very gentlemanly, right ?”
“Yeah. It doesn’t. Maybe he wasn’t such a perfect gentleman…He also used to not want to go out with me if I didn’t wear any make-up and was dressed just casually.”
“What you mean, he never just went out with you ?”
“We only went out on dates. I had to dress up. I could be casual home though…”
“Well goodie, the man let you be yourself when you were home. Big deal. To be honest, sounds like a douchey move.”
“That was kinda douchey…I never cared what he looked like.”
And it’s true. For you, physical appearance wasn’t everything. And sure you thought your ex was hot and all, but only because you liked his personality too. You liked his jokes, you were never ashamed of anything he said.
And right now, sure that stranger that bursted through your window was hot, but the reason you felt like you could tell him things was because he just made you comfortable by his mere aura. Because he gave you such a good vibe.
You never were fully about appearances. It was always just a bonus for you…So it never occurred to you why your ex would only hang out in public with you if you were pampered. Like he used to hate when you just wore hoodies and no make-up, even if you didn’t need make-up to be beautiful.
Comes to think of it, he was very much about appearances…Uh. Interesting. You never realized that before.
You turn to Red Hood, and the look on your face says it all. You’re slowly realizing maybe you didn’t just lost “the one”. The vigilante says :
“Ok, so : no ass, no humor apparently, doesn’t get pop culture references, and was kind of a jerk when it came to going out with you…”
“He did tell me often that I was beautiful though. Including when I just woke up from a night out, and was awful looking.”
“Yeah, but he never went out with you looking like that. He shouldn’t feel ashamed of hanging out with you looking like that. Just like he shouldn’t feel embarrassed when you joke. He can be exasperated, like if you really make bad puns, sure. And he can think it’s unfunny…But embarrassed ? No.”
“I guess…I never thought about it.”
“Well let me tell you, as someone who does not know neither you nor him personally, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Let’s not forget he cheated as well. Like, that’s not something good people do. Especially not with…Nicole from accounting.”
“Nicole from accounting…Yeah. They’re together now though.”
“So ? He should’ve broken up with you if he realized he liked her. That’s the right thing to do. Trust me on that, I put villains behind bars for a living, I know what’s right or wrong.”
“I heard you kill criminals.”
“Used to. I used to kill criminals, I had issues. I’ll tell you one day if you wanna. It’s a real tear jerker story. With clowns and crowbars. And I’m telling you that because I’m drunk, right now. Also, if we want to be specific, I don’t actually make a living out of putting villains behind bars. Like, I don’t get paid or anything…”
Jason finds himself ranting about anything that comes to his mind, and though he hears himself claim it’s because of the alcohol he’s saying all this, he realizes maybe there’s something else making him want to talk.
You. A total stranger he walked upon. Or rather, went-through-the-window upon. Who didn’t freak out when he went through said window. And instead, invited him over to have tequila shots.
Because, according to your grandmother, the best remedy to…basically any problems in life, was “salt, tequila, lemon”.
“She was a wise woman.”
He says, and you turn to him, clearly not understanding what he was talking about.
“Who ?”
“Your grandma. For saying that salt, tequila and lemon was a great remedy against heartbreaks and all.”
“Oh. Yeah. I wouldn’t know, I never met her. She died before I was born.”
“Well what she passed on to your parents is great.”
“What ?”
“Well, that “salt, tequila and lemon” thing, I assume she said that to your mom or dad, and then they said that to you, and then it became your grandma’s advice. Right ?”
“…Nah. It’s an excuse I made up. Whenever I need to justify something, I just say “like my grandma said, ain’t no shame in eating an entire tub of ice cream if you want to”, and then people are just like “oh yeah, cool”, because when you say the word “grandma”, then it gives a perspective to your words ya know ?”
Jason had no idea what you were on about, but he loved it. You seemed to be very smart. And witty. And funny. The hell did that guy cheated on you for ? And why was he ashamed of going out in public with you when you weren’t dressed up ?!
You currently wore “Hello Kitty” pyjamas, had absolutely no make up on, and your hair was a mess, and he thought you looked gorgeous.
“Why are you so nice ?”
Your question takes him by surprise, and for a few seconds he doesn’t register it and just says : “ugh ?”
“To me. Why are you so nice to me ? Is it the alcohol ? Does it make you nice ? Or are you just nice to every stranger ? Every girl you destroy the windows of ? Or are you like my ex ? You seem nice, but then you go off and cheat on your girl simply because you like another girl and you’re too cowardly to break up with your current girl ?”
Jason hiccups slightly, and says :
“No, I’m not nice to any girl I met. I’m actually usually kind of a jerk, too “brutally honest”. But you…I don’t know. You give me good feelings. Oh and here’s to add on his flaws list. “Coward”. Can’t even break up with a girl, has to wait to get caught red-handed and break her heart. Cooooward. Bad flaw. Kind of guy who runs in the face of danger, instead of standing by you.”
It’s probably the fact that he said “you give me good feelings” that spurs this in you. That gives you a new clearer perspective on things.
“My heart wasn’t broken.”
It’s a shock, to you. This realization. This sudden feeling jumping in your face. You���are not heartbroken. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You feel betrayed. You feel a crazy burning anger towards your ex for toying around with you like that. For not having the balls to just break up, after spending two years together.
He was suppose to know you. To be your friend. Things could have turned out better. He could have just come up to you, say the truth, and…You were pretty sure you’d still be friend. Because he really was a great guy.
He really was all the good thing you though about him. He made a mistake, an unforgivable one in your book. But he was a great guy.
He was just…not your great guy. Not anymore at least.
And you realized, there, quite drunk, that…It was ok.
Your heart wasn’t broken.
Your heart wasn’t broken.
Your pride was. Your trust was. But your heart ? …Maybe you weren’t completely in love with him. You were best friends, yes, but love ? Maybe it wasn’t love…
Your heart wasn’t broken.
“My heart isn’t broken.”
You tell Red hood, looking at him right in his wonderful ocean blue eyes. And he looks right back at you, and just nods. Just like that. And then he pours you one last tequila shot.
Because like your grandma would say : “When you make great discovery about yourself…Salt, tequila, lemon”.
************
It took you only a few hours with him to realize that you weren’t in love with your ex, and that was kinda scary. Because this realization didn’t come from nowhere.
Nope.
But when he said that your ex broke your heart, you felt obligated to tell him that no. No your heart wasn’t broken. You were sad and angry, yes, but not heartbroken. For you, in that moment, it was important for this total stranger to know you weren’t actually in love.
Hell, you didn’t even know yourself you weren’t that in love before you talked to him. It just came as a sudden, yet utterly true revelation.
Because, and this wasn’t the alcohol speaking…You felt incredibly attracted to that guy. To Red Hood. Not just because of the white streak in his hair, and the eyes, and smile, and voice, and abs, and thick thighs. That too, sure, but not only…Nope.
Nope. Not because of this.
But because he had a tough day (he said so himself, explaining to you how he went through the window…he was fighting a super-villain when he got flung through your window, tough tough time ahem), and yet he sat with a crazy lady that peppered salt on his hand and practically forced him to take a tequila shot…
Because you could see in his eyes, and felt in your guts that he didn’t have an easy life…and yet he took a break from whatever he was doing to just sit with you and listen to you. He didn’t even make sense, that you trusted those feelings so fiercely. And yet, you did. Because he listened to you.
He saw you were struggling and he stayed. And though you felt you couldn’t trust anyone at that time…You oddly felt like he was ok.
Like he wouldn’t be the kind of guy to cheat, or run in the face of danger, leaving you all alone to fight off demons.
In a few short hours, you fell for this guy more than you ever fell for your ex.
What did that say about you uh ? …That was pretty pathetic…
************
Jason didn’t think that you were pathetic at all.
On the contrary. If he went to seat with you, and drink with you, is because he was instantly mesmerized by you.
And though he didn’t know at first why, now he was sure of it.
It’s because you didn’t freak out. And something told him it wasn’t only because you were a bit drunk (he fell in drunk people’s home before…none reacted like you).
Nope. It was because you were special. He just knew it. Special in every way. Funny. Beautiful. Genuinely listening to him when he was speaking.
He peppered his own problems within your story, as you told him. And you listened. Hell, even referenced a few things he said early on, way later, while you were crazy drunk. You listened.
You gave a total stranger that seemed to have a tough day some salt. And tequila. And lemons.
And then you cared. You asked him a thousand times if he was ok, and he basically had to take off his armor to prove it so (to your eyes’ greatest pleasure…mm mm mm those muscles).
Captivated. He was captivated by you. It was strange, and though he knew it was because you were special, he still was unclear as to why his feelings were that strong.
For someone he just met. And barely knew. And only knew while drunk.
You were just…Special.
************
It was surreal. The all thing.
What started as a night where you planned on wallowing your pain and drinking…ended up changing your life.
And no one could convince you that it wasn’t Fate. Because what were the odds that Red Hood would fall through YOUR window after tripping (yeah you didn’t buy that “fighting super-villains thing” at all) ?
What were the odds of his timing being so perfect, arriving just before you started to cry ? Because there was no doubt in your mind that if he had come a few seconds later, he wouldn’t have stayed.
He would have found a crying mess, and maybe he would have tried to confort you but…You wouldn’t have answered. In your “sad phase”, you only cry and whine. He would have eventually left. And the wonderful talk you’d just have, would never have happened.
But instead. He came right before your lips touch that fatal shot of tequila that would have brought you into the “sad phase”. And took your drunkness down a notch. Rerouted your evening.
You weren’t wallowing anymore, you were ranting.
Sharing your anger and frustration.
And he helped you realize that your ex wasn’t that perfect…That maybe it was just not meant to be…After all, he cheated on you.
Uh. What a shame. You didn’t even know his name…”Red Hood”…
You wished you knew his name.
************
The morning lights were rising, and the bottle of tequila was long gone.��
There were still salt and lemons though. For some reason, you decided to buy the entire grocery store’s stock of lemons.
Red Hood stood up, and said he had to go.
He was nice about it. Said it was a pleasure to have spend the night with you. You both laughed about the innuendos that ensued.
You were exactly on the same page. And he understood all your joke referencing to pop culture…
But it was time for him to go. And he apparently had no intention of telling you his real name. He didn’t hint either at ever coming back to see you again.
And there was that. Just a nice night, spend talking to a genuine friend that you’ll never see again.
A genuine friend that you didn’t even know a few hours before.
Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Maybe not.
And even if you ended up never seeing him again, this evening truly changed your life…At least, it saved you from a heartbreak. Made you realize it wasn’t that.
Though, now, as he climbs out of the window again (he couldn’t possibly use the front door), you feel like the actual heartbreak is starting.
Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Right.
Salt, tequila, lemon…
But the tequila is all gone.
“I’ll send someone to fix that window…Sorry again about that. …Bye.” are his last words, and then he’s out.
And the tequila is all gone.
************
…
…
…
…
Days pass by in a blur.
Salt. Tequila. Lemon.
Ugh. But you don’t want to this time. You don’t want to get drunk to forget.
You don’t want to forget him. And you know it’s ridiculous to get that worked up over a guy you met one night and that will never come back. That you didn’t even know the name of.
This entire night was weird anyway.
Getting drunk with a dangerous night vigilante. Pouring your heart out to him, and him doing the same. The hell were you even thinking ?
Salt. Tequila. Lemon.
That would be a good idea to do this right now, because man…your heart hurt. More than when you discovered your ex sleeping with Nicole. From accounting. But you can’t resolve yourself to drink. To forget. Nope. Instead you…
*Knock knock knock*.
Uh ? You take a quick look at your clock in the kitchen.10 pm. Who the hell is coming at 10 pm ?! It can only be bad news. Especially in Gotham…You peep into the eyehole and…
WHAT ?!
You open your door quickly, and…
“Told you I’d send someone to fix your window.”
It’s him. It’s Red hood. But in…civilian clothes.
His ass doesn’t look flat in jeans.
He’s holding a window wrapped in cardboard, and there’s a toolbox at his feet.
“Yeah, you did…come in.”
************
Jason Todd.
That’s his name. And connections are fast to be made in your brain. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne’s adopted son. That supposedly died…ten years ago.
And is Red Hood now. Oh. It makes sense. Even his little “killing criminals” thing while Batman never killed. You easily put two and two together.
Red Hood. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne.
Wow. Can’t believe you never guessed that before. Of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. He’s got the motive, the means, the excuses…It’s so obvious. And yet, you never realized. And no one else in Gotham ever realized.
Jason Todd.
Now you know his name.
And he’s fixing your window. Nobody ever fixed windows for you before (even those who broke it).
Um. To add to the “perfect man” list : “Handy”.
Jason Todd.
He quickly works the window up, and then he turns to you. While he was working you talked, as if you knew each other for years. Joking around. Like old friends. Like old extremely good and close friends.
It fits. It clicks. It’s natural. You and him, him and you.
Barely knowing each others, and yet knowing each others the best.
Jason. Todd.
He turns to you now, and with a smirk, he says :
“Ya know, my grandma always say that when something good happens to you, you need to celebrate. And I feel like this, right now, you and I, though I have no idea what we’re doing and where it’s going…Well it’s still something to celebrate. And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”
You smile.
Yeah. You don’t know where this thing between you two is going, but you do know that you never met someone who so fully understood you.
And in such a short span of time. And you know you’re not mistaking. It’s a feeling too strong to be a mistake.
He came back to fix your window for god’s sake. And trusted you enough to tell you his actual name. Without a second thought. Which meant everything. Especially since from all the hint he let slip through last time you saw each others, about his father, well…let’s just say telling people his real name wasn’t really something he was used to.
But it just works. It fits. It clicks. It’s not like with your ex, because you don’t think you know it does. It just does. The fact that you say those next few words in perfect sync finishes to convince you :
(“…And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”)
“Salt, tequila, and lemons.”
______________________________________________
I’m so mad the Tumblr app crashed and I deleted the original post...Y’all were great and reblogged the hell out of it ! Which is why it got so many notes in such a short span of times. And feedbacks. I haven’t had that many feedbacks on a story in a long time. So just one last time and I won’t bother you with that again : Please, if you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to reblog it and share it with others. People who don’t follow me can’t really find my stories anymore so...you’re a big help by spreading them. It’s always very encouraging.
And if you got the time, feedbacks are always hella appreciated and always make my day a little brighter <3.
#Jason Todd x Reader#Jason Todd#Jason Todd imagine#Red Hood x Reader#Jaybird#Jay Todd#Jason Peter Todd#Best Robin#Fight me#Red Hood imagine#Red Hood fanfiction#Jason Todd fanfiction#Jason Todd reader insert#Jason Todd deserves more love#Red Hood reader insert#Jason Todd fanfic#Batfam#Batfamily#Batfam x Reader#Batfamily x Reader#Batfam imagine#Batfamily imagine#JASON TODD IS GREAT OK ?!
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I literally love your batfam writing so much, can I request something? Can batsis (biological daughter of Bruce) be adapted after her mum dies and she's obsessed with makeup and loves it so all the boys think she's shallow and conceited? But she's not? Thank you so much
Makeup
Tim flops on the couch beside his eldest brother, “Did yousee her room? She’s got a one of those makeup mirror things. The one with thelights in the mirror and all the drawers. When I walked by, she was filling thewhole thing up with makeup”
“Are you serious? Who needs that much makeup?”
“I don’t think Steph, Cass, and Babs have that much makeupcombined. I mean I know her mom was a model and all, but she must be stupid shallowand obsessed with her looks”
There’s a soft creak as the door open and both boys glanceup to see the newest member of the Wayne household standing awkwardly in thedoorway. “Hi, Alfred said that you two were in here … he said that you guys wouldn’tmind giving me a bit of a tour. I only know where my room and the kitchen is …”
Dick lets out a put-upon sigh and heaves himself off thecouch, “Yeah, come on, I’ll show you around.”
Y/N glances up at him when they’re passing one of the hugebay windows, “You know, you have beautiful cheekbones, they’d be perfect be forsome highlight. And Tim has some beautiful eyelashes, I have to use falsies ormascara to that kind of length. You know I have -”
“Not everyone needs makeup to feel good about themselves,Y/N”
She freezes for a few seconds before catching up to him, “Iknow. I don’t use makeup because I don’t feel good about myself. I use it becauseit makes me confident, it’s like a mask that helps me take on the world. Ienjoy makeup, I don’t need it, Dick.” Her eyes lock with his, “This familyshould know all about mask, right?”
Dick almost chokes out a disbelieving laugh, that’s definitelysomething he’ll need to bring up to Bruce but for now he’ll ignore it. “So, youhave all that different makeup, and spend all that money just because you likeit?”
“I actually get a lot of my makeup for free. I have a YouTubechannel where I teach people how to put on makeup, so different makeupcompanies will sometimes send me their new pallets or supplies for me to testout and review. Mom taught me to be confident in who I am, to love myself andothers based on who they are as a person. I try to help my followers becomeconfident in themselves while I’m teaching them how to do makeup” The older manjust continues to stare at her, “Maybe you shouldn’t judge people on their outwardappearance and try to get to know them first”
Y/N quickly walks the rest of the way down the hall andstraight into her room while Dick slowly makes his way back toward the livingroom where Tim is still sitting. “So how was it? Was she completely airheaded,or could she actually hold a conversation?”
“She actually seems pretty smart, like she had a reason forhaving so much makeup. I guess she uses it all for her YouTube channel, and tohelp other people gain confidence in themselves”
Tim quickly sits up, “Do you know what her YouTube name is?I want to look her up”
“I don’t know, just search her name, it’ll be her mom’s lastname”
Tim types for a minute, “I found her … holy shit, she hasover 8 million followers”
“You’re kidding me. She was telling the truth? Play one ofher videos”
The two boys play a random video from two months ago. Y/Ntalks about how it doesn’t matter how much makeup someone layers on their faceif they’re ugly on the inside it’ll show. She talks about just being confidentin everything you do and in believing in yourself. The boys end up watchingvideo after video. Watching as she does casual day makeup, or night out makeup.How sometimes her mom or friends will appear in the videos and she’ll do theirmakeup as well as her own and the guest will share their own words of wisdom.The last video the two end up watching is the most recent one Y/N had posted,dated for only a few days after her mother had passed away. It isn’t a makeupvideo at all, it talks about loss and figuring out how live life after losingsomeone so important. Y/N talks about Bruce, how her father who she’s never metintends to take her in and adopt her. Finally, it wraps up by saying that shedoesn’t know when she’ll be able to post again, or even if she’ll be able to answeranyone messages.
“Did we completely misjudge her and act like total assholesto a girl who just lost her only parent up until recently? We’ve both lost ourparents and we were total assholes to her just because we assumed she wasshallow and conceited, when really she just likes makeup and uses it to expressherself”
Dick groans, letting his head fall into his hands, “How dowe make this up to her?”
“Maybe we should follow her advice and actually get to knowher. I think … I think we should treat her like a member of the family insteadof like an outsider. We need to talk to Jason and Damian, you know they’ll cometo the same conclusion we did and yeah, Damian’s gotten a little better overthe years, but he still doesn’t have much a filter.”
“You’re right. I have a great idea. We should have a siblingmovie night, then we call all get to know her at the same time and she can getto know us. She won’t feel so alone here afterwards”
“Perfect! Just us tonight, and maybe next week we can getall the girls over here too?” Dick quickly nods his agreement, “I’m going totell Alfred and see if he can whip up some snacks for us. Can you call Jasonand get Damian?”
“Yeah, I got them. I really hope this works. We might havejust ruined our relationship with Y/N because we judged her over her makeup andnot her personality. We should know better, god we’re so stupid” Dick lets outa soft sigh and pulls out his phone, “Let’s just hope she can forgive us”
A voice clears behind them. Both vigilantes whip around,their eyes wide, having not even heard the door open, “You know, I’d forgiveyou a lot quicker if you’d apologize, that’s typically how these things works”
“Y/N, you scared the crap out of me!” Dick lets out a shakybreath, “I’m sorry … We’re sorry for judging you without getting to know you.We’ve known a lot of models and just kinda assumed that you were like all of them.I didn’t mean to judge you, or insult you”
“I understand. I’m a stranger coming into your guys house.You don’t know me, you guys didn’t even know I existed until recently, so ofcourse you’d assume things about me. That doesn’t make it right though, howeverI’m going to forgive you this time. I want to get to know my new brothers, solet’s put this behind us, okay?”
Tim grins, “Thank you. So we were gonna have a movie nighttonight, the four of us guys and you if you want. A way for all of us to get toknow you and for you to get to know us … if you want”
Y/N grins, “I’d love to, that sounds like fun … but we NEEDto have some kettle corn for the movie and some cookies”
Both guys snort, “I thought you were all into the healthy lifestyleand being the best you can be? That’s what your videos said”
“That’s what some of them said, but then I also say that it’sokay to indulge as long as you do it in moderation. So, I’ll be going to the gymtomorrow, but tonight we can watch movies and eat what we want”
“Sounds like a plan, I’ll call Jay and go talk to Damian”
“I’ll go ask Alfred if he can make cookies, you haven’t hadthe chance to try Alfie’s cookies yet, Y/N. They’re amazing!”
#batfamily#batboys#BatFam#Batfamily Headcanon#batfam headcanons#batfam imagine#batfamily imagines#batfamily imagine#dick grayson#dick grayson imagine#Tim Drake#tim drake imagine#reader insert#sister reader#the boys are assholes to the reader#makeup#request#send me asks#batdad#batboys imagine
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Is It True?
AN: i love amazing writers. i love writing amazing pieces. this piece goes out to @icantlivewithyou in celebration of her 800 followers challenge! hope this makes you smile!
prompt “you’re really pregnant?”
pairing: Bruce Wayne x Reader
summery: its a secret!
Masterlist
8 years ago, you were a graduate student...
8 years ago you got an internship with Wayne Enterprises!
8 years ago was the first encounter you ever had with the Batman. he save your life.
not too long after that you had a magical date with your boss Bruce Wayne! this began your magical journey.
6 years later you are at the office and lunch time roles around. you and Bruce would normally go out for lunch at the usual fancy restaurant. you loved your time with Bruce, but today was different you walked into his office and he has a strange look to his eye...
Bruce: “close the door love and come here...”
you close the door and go over to the desk he turns to face you welcoming you into his lap...
YN: “hey baby... are you ready for lunch?”
Bruce: “we are not going to lunch today... we will do dinner instead but right now can i show you something... i feel like i need to confide this to you, we have been together for a while now and im looking forward to many more years with you but not without you knowing my biggest well kept secret...”
YN: “Bruce whatever you have to tell me, i’ll go into it with you. i love you Bruce! you know that! so what is it that you wish to share with me?”
Bruce: “well first we have to get up off this chair... ive already cleared us to go for the rest of the day... think of this as a vacation! a small one where we arent going far but yet we are gonna have traveled the distances...”
you were now very curious... you had no idea what was about to happen... but got up off your boyfriends lap and held his hand as he led you to the wall pannel, he took his other hand and placed it to the wall.
it then spoke...
AI: “good afternoon mr wayne...”
you were amazed that you never knew about this panel being here... but you walked inside with Bruce as he spoke next.
Bruce: “take us to the cave!”
immediately you were both on one crazy roller coaster ride... it was a tunnel system that seemed to go from the top of wayne tower to some underground cavern...
the ride stopped and Bruce once more spoke...
Bruce: “through these doors is a world that no-one but Alfred has known about like ever... now to you i present this my most valuable secret... the entire reason behind the tunnel system. the entire reason behind all my so called late nights at the office or pre-preparations for a gala that is months away... well i never actually ever left the manor.. id be down here working out, training, and monitoring the city... you may exit the doors when your ready...”
you went passed Bruce and the doors opened automatically... you walked out onto a literal rock solid floor, and into a cavern where tech and a bunch of equipment lay around all over the place...
you wandered around a bit before arriving at the main area, or what assumed was the main area for it had a really big computer setup with 6 different screens and one tiny ass keyboard. the computers powered up and revealed a giant bat symbol... thats when it hit you like a freight train.
you turned to Bruce and decided to test your theory make sure it was true...
you went into a low spin kick to which Bruce jumped over. blocking each move you threw at him you had to now think quickly... you decided to pull a Natasha romanov and wrap your legs around his neck flipping him to the ground but he had grabbed your wrist and twisted your arm when you did that.
Bruce got off of you and smiled as he extended his hand to you...
Bruce: “if you wanted to test my skills how was that?”
YN: “you’re batman... why didnt you tell me sooner?”
Bruce could only chuckle as he smiled...
Bruce: “i was afraid of how you would react... had i known you would react that way i would have told you sooner... are you ok love? you look kinda pale?”
you shook your head, truth be told you hadnt been feeling well for a few days now... you just thought you were getting ready for your period... but this morning you had thrown up... you werent sure what was wrong...
YN: “i think i need a doctor...”
Bruce picked you up bridal style, carrying you to the elevator you both emerge in the library of the manor, where Alfred greets both of you...
Alfred: “good heavens, is Miss YN alright?”
Bruce: “Alfred can you get the car and take us to Gotham General... please?”
Alfred: “of course sir...”
Alfred brings the car to the front of the house where you and Bruce now waiting Alfred opens the door helping to get both of you inside before driving reasonably to Gotham General.
upon arrival at the hospital, Bruce had Alfred once more help to get you out of the car... Alfred then went to park the car while Bruce carried you inside. walking inside he was greeted by 2 nurses...
Nurse 1: “how can we help you both tonight?”
Bruce: “my girlfriend is pale and not well we need a check up... run all the necessary tests rule out anything and everything please...”
Nurse 2: “okay sir calm down please... we need a name to process her under...”
Bruce: “Bruce wayne... i help fund this hospital... my girlfriends name is YN... she can barely stand on her own...”
the nurses both led you and Bruce through the secluded doors, to a room secluded and away from prying eyes... Bruce had laid you on the bed, you were not sure yet as to your condition but you had your suspicions...
it was about 5 minutes later when a doctor walked in one of the nurses who had helped you both in here walked in bringing several things with...
Dr. Jason: “Bruce, YN i’m Dr. Jason... i understand that your not feeling well tonight Miss... can you tell me how long you havent been well?”
YN: “its been on and off for the last week or so...”
Dr. Jason relays notes to the nurse and asks the next question...
Dr. Jason: “when was your last period? or do you know when your next period is supposed to arrive?”
you took one small breath before answering...
YN: “its due... as of yesterday...”
Dr. Jason: “let me guess it hasnt arrived yet, has it...?”
you shake your head, Dr. Jason has the nurse bring in an ultrasound cart... Bruce moves to the other side and gives the okay to do whatever necessary not wanting to leave your side...
Dr. Jason: “have you ever had an ultrasound before YN?”
you shoke your head...
Dr. Jason: “okay its very simple, nothing to worry about... now im gonna need access to your abdomen as well as your stomach... so your waist line on your pants is gonna have to go down a bit... i will place some gel on your stomach, then i will use this equipment to through the gel be able to take a peak inside your belly... see if there is anything noticeable...”
the doctor did as he said, placing the gel on made you shiver a bit but Bruce’s touch kept you nice and warm... as Dr. Jason now moved the transducer around on the gel, the nurse was ready to record anything found...
you and Bruce anxiously watched the screen... waiting for answers of any kind to come up... Dr Jason then stopped moving the tansducer, he kinda stayed in one spot for a while... it was then that he knew what the cause was... he had the nurse make a few notes and then sent her out of the room...
Dr. Jason: “it seems congratulations are in order...”
Bruce: “im sorry what do you mean Congratulations are in order...”
Dr Jason: “well it seems YN isnt sick sick after all its just a little bit of morning sickness...”
your eyes widened... before your head collapsed from the shock of the news... you knew full well what the congratulations was for but no one knew how shocked you were till you fainted...
it was 10 minutes later when you woke again to find Bruce filling out paper work, after being told by Dr Jason not to worry too much that you would wake eventually that you fainted from the aftershock of the news...
Bruce’s head swam with the thoughts of being a father, sure something he had thought about but never dreamed would ever happen. a few moments later Bruce looked up as he often did to find you sitting up and stretching slightly...
Bruce: “hey love how are you feeling?”
YN: “is it true?”
Bruce comes over to your side and smiles lovingly at you.
Bruce: “you’re really pregnant?
Bruce gestures to the ultrasound photo sitting beside you on the bed...
YN: “yes i am... i had my suspisions but i wasnt ever gonna admit them to anyone or myself... however, i know we never actually discussed the thought of kids, but believe me when i say i wouldnt be here today if you werent the most amazing man i had ever met...”
Bruce: “i cant even begin to describe how much excitement im holding in right now... i mean we are gonna be parents... its gonna be an honor to raise this child with you...”
Bruce with you holds the photo and then Bruce lifts your shirt to once again expose your belly and he places soft kisses to it, then he comes up to place a longing kiss to your lips... you were now in a happy place...
you finally felt like your life was finally underway...
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Tag 🍟 (Late af)
So ive been tagged again in the 11 questions. I dont mind becuase its fun to do. This time i was tagged by the amazing people that follow, @igniscorde7112 @highladyofthedark and @wingsofanillyrian . Oh and @highladyofthedark thank you for that compliment! Im glad you find this trash pile of a blog amusing. And ummm.... @igniscorde7112 i dont believe thats 11 people... 🤔
Since its 3 different tags and I have nothing better to do, you all are going to get 33 facts you never needed/wanted to know about me.
Ok, let me actually start this.
Rules: always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 more people.
(Do i really have to do the last one? im pretty sure the fandoms and their mothers have already done this tag at this point.)
Please dont judge the questions arent properly numbered. I copy and pasted and im too lazy to fix it.
1. What countries have you visited?
Does Walmart at 3 in the morning count? Because otherwise, ive never been outside of the U.S.
2. What’s your favorite word at the moment?
Ok I have never understood favorite words. I have never had one and anytime anyone asked id just lie and say a word. Buuuut to answer the question i recently learned the word ‘Dullard’ and i find it quite amusing.
3. What is your preferred writing utensil?
It really depends. I prefer pen but pencil makes my handwriting look better. And I hate physically writing things so.. yea.
4. What’s one book that everyone else loved but you didn’t enjoy?
Um.... I dont read super popular books unless i have to for school. So... I dont have this experience. But ive been trying to read ‘Shatter Me’ and ‘Graceling’ for YEARS but i cant get past the first chapter on either. So does that count?
5. Who’s your ultimate BROtp?
like... one? ‘cause i cant choose one. and what series? youre going to have to be more specific with this question unless you want me answering with a ten page essay on them all.
6. Dream job?
Ooo Ive answered this! Im going to go find it and then past it on here............ FOUND IT!
I want to be a performer. I say performer because I would act, or sing, or be a comedian. Anything so I could perform because I love it so damn much. But, this is really cliche, if I’d rather just be a musician. Specifically a singer cause I suck at physical instruments. But any performing arts job would be ok with me.
7. Best advice you have ever received?
Theres a lot more advice I would love to pass on to anyone reading this but I wasnt told it, I had to learn myself in some way. So the one bit of advice I have ever recieved was told to me by my mother when I was 3 and I lived my life by this and I pray I always will. She said “Always ask why”. Ive learned that this doesnt just mean to not settle for one answer but to question everything around you. Question life, death, the earth, science, literature, music, history, everything. History has been especially a huge one for me and Ive learned so much from that. The big thing with this though is that you if you do start applying this to everything is that, 95% of the answers arent going to be found in any school or lecture. You are going to have to go find articles to read and youtube videos to watch and documentaries to listen to.
8. What fictional character would you love to meet?
Iggy from Keeper of the Lost Cities. Or that caterpillar guy from the movie Epic because id want to learn a lot from him.
9. If you could time travel, where would you go?
I wouldnt. I have no desire to fuck up the fragile time lines. But if I had no choice but to chose, Id go to see my future just to make sure.... I made it.
10. Favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
Really depends. If its actually raining, especially if its storming, Ill watch it and put on bomb music or read with the storm. If its drizzling you can find me complaining about my hair that is now just frizzing and turing into an afro.
11. What was the last concert you went to?
5 years ago I went to that awesome Jason Aldean, Luke Bryan, and one other person I forgot, I wanna say Band Perry... But literally 5 minutes before Jason (my favorite singer at the time) came out, my mother got sick and we had to leave. So I saw band perry and half of lukes set.
1. What is your favorite animal?
Sloths. I fucking love them.
2. If you could enter any fictional world, what would it be?
Romina Russells Zodiac or one of the Avatar worlds. The one with elemants or blue people. Im not picky.
3. If you could move to another country, what would it be?
I really wanna live in Scotland. I know thats a horrible choice for my curly af hair but I really want to live their even if its just for a couple of years. I dont even know why.
4. What is your favorite genre of music?
This is like what is your favorite color. Or whos your favorite music artist. Or whats your favorite book. I cant choose!
5. Have you ever broken a bone?
Yes. Multiple.
I really want to go into detail and story but I cant cause they are gross and weird.
6. Who is your favorite author?
nope. nope. NOPE. nOpe. NOpE. NO
7. How long have you been on tumblr?
This... This is an excellent question........................ That I dont know the answer to. I thinks its been 2-3 years but i dont actually know. I applaud anyone that has read this far.
8. When was the last time you cried?
This sounds silly, I know, but im so happy I cant actually remember. My guess would be sometime in may.
9. Would you rather travel in a boat or a plane?
Plane.
10. Cats or dogs or neither?
It really depends. One shits on my bed and the other eats everything. It depends which one is trying to kiss up to me that day.
11. Fanfiction or fan art?
Fanfiction.
1. If you could say something to any fictional character, who would it be and what would you say?
Romina Russells Zodiac Hysan Dax “Will you marry me?”
2. Are you currently reading and/or writing any fan fiction?
No sadly. Im in a reading and writing slump.
3. Favorite book/series?
....that's like picking a favorite child
4. Favorite ship?
Morrigan and Andromache
5. What’s your eye color?
Super dark brown
6. Favorite fictional character?
Hysan Dax
7. If you could choose whatever job you wanted, what would it be?
I've answered this
8. Favorite animal?
Sloth!!!!!
9. A place you have always wanted to go to?
Scotland
10. Summer or winter?
I love the winter and the cold to death because it's great but I mentally and physically do better during the summer
11. Outdoors or indoors?
Depends. Love love love being outside but I hate the bugs. Inside doesn't have bugs. So it depends
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