#like lmfao this feels like it was written with a male fantasy in mind

[sarenhale]

Looking forward for this "relationship" Carmy has in season 2 of The Bear to end cause it's legit the worst part of the story so far

[hackedmotionsensors]

Hey!! I don't know if you've ever answered this before but how did u discover Tony? Why do you like him so much? Which is your favorite marvel verse? (Also your art is literally heartbreakingly beautiful)

Thank you so much for saying such nice things about my art!!

I don’t think I’ve answered this fully before but I don’t mind answering again!

I always kind of vaguely knew who Iron Man was peripherally because I had a few marvel stuff (comics, posters, watching the cartoons on tv) growing up because I loved the X-men. In the 90s if you were into Marvel dollars to donuts you probably were more into the X-men than any other series. Like I had a poster of random marvel heroes that I bought because it had Wolverine and Storm on it. But it also had Sue Storm and Iron Man. (I think the Thing was on it too or maybe spider-man. Probably spider-man honestly lol)

But I didn’t really get into Iron Man exactly until I started being a fan of RDJ. I was SUPER into Sherlock Holmes (I read all of the collective works in a month and I retained almost none of it bc of ADHD lol) and then the first Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes movie came out and it had RDJ in it so I was like hell yes. Like a lot of people I only knew Downey from his infamous history and being convicted of drug abuse. And my dad liked Ally McBeal so I used to watch him on that show and on SNL and he was ....BAD on SNL lmfao ....errr anyway  

I liked SH a lot and started looking into his other movies. And I missed when Iron Man 1 came out because I was living in Japan but when I moved back the second one came out after SH so it sorta spiraled from there. I’m a capricorn!! When I fixate I fixate HARD lmfao

I like Tony because he is at his core a different kind of hero in a lot of respects. He started out as what would normally be considered a villain. A rich guy who makes weapons. He hasn’t got any actual super powers, like batman, but he’s also not like.....relying on his body (he can’t) to be a power fantasy. His armor gives him that so it was something he built. (He’s still a power fantasy in terms of money but that’s a whole US cultural thing that’s too much to get into right now). He has a weakness and its not something like Kryptonite or being obsessed with his parents dying. His weakness is alcoholism which is something real people have. He has other weaknesses that can be viewed as mental illnesses, PTSD, trauma, never feeling like he’s good enough, being extremely stubborn in thinking that he’s the ONLY ONE who can do something (armor wars/MCU) etc. And when written correctly he can be really moving and tender. Which when comic books are a male dominated viewpoint and written by a lot of straight white dudes that’s not something you see all the time. And in some cases he’s a real punching bag. Like oh my god Vol 3 of Iron man is just him getting the crap beat out of him all the time. Kurt Busiek was like I’m gonna write a great story but Tony’s gonna have broken bones, broken heart, broken head. Get wrecked Iron Man.

And because its Marvel he also has that cheeky “I’m making a joke while punching bad guys thing” which FOR ME is always charming. 

And in terms of MCU ....he smol lol. And Downey is so good at playing those vulnerable points. The MCU is still ultimately fairly vapid bc its still popcorn movies at its core and I love and dislike that in the same breath. But Downey does a really good job of getting those emotional points across even if sometimes you don’t notice them right away. (The sunglasses to hide behind is something I literally only just noticed last night lol)

My favorite marvel universe is Avengers Academy lol I will hold onto that awful game for the rest of my life because its so cute, its so fun, it takes a lot of characters from all over the Marvel Universe, even some no one really thinks about (Union Jack?, Werewolf by Night, Man Thing?? That guy who looks like Manthing but is like a red rocky turd?? I forgot his name) and makes them fun college students. And it was very open about making fun of things like Thanos’s MO in the MCU as being completely nonsensical which it WAS.

And then probably after AvAc I’d say 616 is my favorite bc its the OG. Then maybe....Avengers Assemble bc its a cute cartoon. Then maybe MCU and then Ults which I kinda throw hand in hand since the MCU took a lot of inspo from Ults.

[therainroguebts]

♡︎ This or That Fanfic Edition ♡︎

Tagged by the incredible @janellion​, thank you so much for thinking of me ^~^)/ As always, I will post the original tag for easy copy and paste and then I will edit it to my own liking beneath the cut! You can find Kayla’s answers here.

slow burn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt-comfort or amnesia // fantasy AU or modern AU // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage// high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel or isolated together // neighbors or roommates // sci-fi AU or magic AU // body swap or gender bend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

❇ slow burn or love at first sight.

I... am not a patient person at all ._.) Slow burn fics can be awesome if done right, but most of the time I just get bored. Not to say the fic itself is boring or bad, that’s just how I am with things that are too long. It’s the same with anime! If given the choice, I would choose love at first sight simply because of that.

❇ fake dating or secret dating.

I don’t mind either, to be honest, but I feel like I’ve read and written more secret dating than I have fake dating. I guess there’s just something about trying to keep it a secret!

❇ enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers.

Again, I don’t mind either one, but I feel like best friends to lovers is more likely and much easier to write and read. Enemies to lovers can be very tricky because the whole point of being enemies is to hate each other, so it can be super hard to successfully transition into a loving relationship and, as mentioned above, I don’t have the patience that it would take for this.

❇ oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence.

This one is hard for me to choose. While both are amazing, I’ve found myself thinking about a long-distance fic for a while now, especially in the SMAU since, so I feel drawn to choosing that option.

❇ hurt-comfort or amnesia.

Most of my fics end up being hurt/comfort lol it’s basic and simple and I love that. I’m also not really a fan of amnesia fics. To be honest, I can’t really call any of the few that I have read.

❇ fantasy AU or modern AU.

While I certainly do enjoy fantasy, I feel more at ease with modern, both in writing and reading. My brain isn’t the... sharpest crayon in the pack and fantasy can come with loads of technicalities that my brain struggles to properly grasp. Plus you can relate more to modern!

❇ mutual pining or domestic bliss.

Both, to be honest haha But if I had to choose, I’ve definitely read/written more for mutual pining over domestic bliss. There’s just something so... final about marriage.

❇ smut or fluff.

Now, I enjoy smut. Most people do! But for me, reading/writing smut is more of a fleeting thing. I’ll sometimes get into the mood for some smut, but then I partake and I move on. Meanwhile, I’m always in the mood for fluff!

❇ canon-compliant or fix-it.

I honestly don’t think I can properly choose one of these because, well, in my opinion, all fanfics are technically fix-its while still remaining canon compliant. At least the fics that I write/read are, because they add an extra element that changes the story in ways while keeping it the same at the same time! Does that make sense??

❇ reincarnation or character death.

I avoid character deaths in both writing and reading. Period. But if I had to choose, it would be reincarnation because I have written this before. I’d rather keep avoiding fics about such things, though.

❇ one-shot or multi chapter.

As stated earlier, I have the patience of a flea. Most times, I just want to get in and get out, even with my fics. Reading, I lose interest fast. Writing, I can’t think of a good plot most times to make them keep going. Still, this doesn’t stop me from partaking in either lmfao But you can probably tell this by looking at all of the series that I haven’t finished.

❇ kid fic or road trip fic.

I’m not entirely sure what kid fics are? Is that just fics where the characters are kids?? Since I’m not sure, I’ll just choose road trip fics, which can be a fun read! I’ve personally only written it once or twice, though.

❇ arranged marriage or accidental marriage.

I... I’m sorry... accidental marriage?? How do you accidentally get married?? I am so confused. I don’t like arranged marriages because I think they are unfair but they are good plot armor for fics hehe

❇ high school romance or middle aged romance.

100% no contest. As someone that missed out on the high school experience and mostly watches school anime, I LOVE high school romance. While I have read/written middle aged romance because most people age them up, not feeling comfortable writing for teenagers ._.) Which, for smut I get, but eh.

❇ time travel or isolated together.

Time travel has never been my thing because that requires knowledge of different time periods or the brain power to create future/alternate times. However, I have been wanting to write a quarantine fic recently, partly inspired by #Alive which was a surprisingly good movie (and the English dub was funny).

❇ neighbors or roommates.

As roommates, you have so many more opportunities to make a bond and grow a relationship. This can be a lot harder as neighbors, or maybe I’m just biased because I personally never talk to my neighbors or interact with them or even SEE them most days.

❇ sci-fi AU or magic AU.

As stated above, sci-fi is above my brain’s pay grade lol I don’t understand most of it and it just doesn’t interest me. Now, magic? Love it! Especially if there are magical transforms involved! Though I’m not sure they’d be quite as epic in a fic.

❇ body swap or gender bend.

There’s just something about turning my favorite male characters into females for a short time that I just love. Though I’ve only written for it once or twice and I don’t believe I’ve read anything for it, either haha I just remember seeing these pictures of the Prince of Tennis boys turned into girls in bathing suits and it was just *chefs kiss*

❇ angst or crack.

CRACK. No contest lmfao While angst can be nice and needed to further a plot, I have more than enough angst in my real life and would rather NOT have too much in my fics. Crack can be hard to reach without being labeled simple comedy, in my opinion, but when you get there, it’s just amazing.

❇ apocalyptic or mundane.

I think apocalyptic can be fun in doses, but mundane just seems more... reachable, I guess? Slice of life has always been one of my go-tos because of its simplicity. It’s everyday life and feels more real and obtainable, you know?

Tagging: @kiralushia​ @kyokosasagawa​ @pudding-head-kenma​ @jen-and-jax​ @nekoma-hoe​ @sugaanoya​ @k-eijiakaashi​ & anyone that sees this and thinks it looks fun!

If you do NOT want to be tagged for such things (or if you do), please let me know!

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 38

*inhales*

It’s here. Pray for me.

(Also, this should be pretty obvious, but this is indeed a chapter with a sex scene, so there will be NSFW text so maybe skip this one if you don’t wanna read that kinda stuff)

And Aelin knew if she didn’t get the hell out of this city for an hour or two, she might very well explode again.

I’m out of witty remarks to make about Alien’s piss poor temper at this point. Can you believe hundreds of people died painful and brutal deaths last chapter and all SJM focuses on is Alien’s feefees?

Rolfe and Alien have “edgy” “thrilling” “banter” where they insult one another, blah blah blah, you’re not here for that.

Also Rolfe sold his soul for the map on his hands which resulted in his sister and mother dying. How many nameless characters are gonna be murdered by SJM’s hands to give her main characters something to angst over holy shit.

Aelin rasped, “No. I don’t know what happened. One minute it was us … then she came.” She rubbed at her chest, avoiding the touch of the golden chain against it. Her throat tightened as she took in that spot on [Rowan’s] own chest, right between his pectorals. Where her fist had been aimed.

FJDHFKJAHJDAS OH MY GOD THIS IS THE MALE EQUIVALENT OF SJM BRINGING TOO MUCH FOCUS ON HER FEMALE CHARACTERS BREASTS I AM ACTUALLY CHOKING AKDHFKHAFJKHD

“If I had killed you,” she hissed, but choked on the words, unable to finish the thought, the idea of it.

This book would be a lot better since it would mean less Aelin gushing and less Ratlin being hailed as the best relationship evah

“She enjoyed every rutting second of it. She wanted to see what my power might do, what she could do with my body, with the key.” [Aelin’s] flames burned hotter, shredding through her clothes until they were ash, until she was naked and clothed in only her own fire.

??? i ????? this is not a private beach???? youre a queen what if someone walked in on you naked im?????? im so confused why does she do this???

“How can you be so … fine with this?” Embers sprayed from [Aelin] like a swarm of fireflies.

FHSHJSD THIS FUCKING IMAGERY SJM YOU’RE KILLING ME

Rowan shucked off his boots, tossing them onto the dry sand behind him. “Because I’m the only one arrogant and insane enough to ask Mala Fire- Bringer to let me stay with the woman I love.” [Aelin’s] flames turned to pure gold at the words—at that word. But she said, “Perhaps you’re just the only one arrogant and insane enough to love me.”

Love it when Alien writes my snarks for me. Makes these chapter reviews a whole lot easier!

Aelin let [Rowan] pivot her in the surf and sand to face him fully, let him slide his mouth along her jaw, the curve of her cheekbone, the point of her Fae ear.“These,” he said, nibbling at her earlobe, “have been tempting me for months.”

Oh god here we go

Before we proceed, let’s have a little chat, shall we? SJM’s sex scenes? They fucking suck. This isn’t an erotica novel, therefore sex scenes serve to help us feel the connection between characters, no? I don’t mind sex scenes; I’ve read many before that made me emotional because if they’re well written, they demonstrate how much a couple loves each other.

But SJM fails so hard at sex scenes. Her sex scenes isn’t about the bond between the characters, it’s about her jerking off to fae peen. They’re so hilariously unsexy with the shitty writing and bizarre word choice, and since I don’t like any of her characters, why should I care? Her sex scenes are there solely to trick readers into thinking these books are hot and sexy. But its much easier to show you rather than explain, so.....*sigh* Here we go.

Rowan obliged her silent demand, pressing kisses and soft, growling nips to her throat. “I’ve never taken a woman on a beach,” he purred against her skin, sucking gently on the space between her neck and shoulder. “And look at that—we’re far from any sort of … collateral.”

Am i reading a bad fanfic? Tell me how the characters feel! If i want graphic descriptions of Rowboat fucking Alien, I’d look up fanfics on AO3. Tell me how they feel! Also Rowboat was literally insisting they shouldn’t fuck like animals out in the wilderness at the beginning of the book. Oh, how naive I was back then to the horrors I would endure...

Aelin remembered herself enough to say, “Someone might come looking for us.” Rowan huffed a laugh against her neck. “Something tells me,” he said, his breath skittering along her skin, “you might not mind if we were discovered. If someone saw how thoroughly I plan to worship you.”

JKDSKHDKADHKASJD YOU’RE JUST OKAY WITH SOMEONE POSSIBLY RUINING YOUR SEX BY WALKING BY. LIKE WTF WOULD YOU JUST CONTINUE FUCKING IF SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID WALK BY?? IS THAT WHAT YOU WOULD DO???

His lips crushed into hers, and he said onto her mouth, dropping words more precious than rubies and emeralds and sapphires into her heart, her soul, “I love you. There is no limit to what I can give to you, no time I need. Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you.”

God ok I take it back I don’t need to know how the characters feel. This is just too much. Pro tip, declaration of love are better kept simple and sweet, with all that big mushy stuff left unsaid. Also pro tip, try to find other ways of characters saying they love one another rather than just “I love you”, having them have their own special ways of expressing their loves just makes it more special and interesting to read and tugs on the heartstrings. Having them give huge speeches like this is just too much for me personally and doesn’t make their declarations of love feel special or meaningful

Aelin didn’t know when she started crying, when her body began shaking with the force of it. She had never said such words—to anyone.

Uh, yeah you have? She’s expressed similar love to Chaol in Crown of Midnight, calling him her home and whatnot. Pretty similar declarations of love.

Rowan pulled back, wiping away her tears with his thumbs, one after another. He said softly, barely audible over the crashing waves around them, “Fireheart.” She sniffed back tears. “Buzzard.”

Human brain: They’re disgusting and annoying characters I am not attached to their shitty abusive relationship in the slightest

Monkey brain: special couple nicknames,, pure and soft,,, favorite trope,,,

“You … are so beautiful.” She knew he didn’t just mean the skin and curves and bones. But Aelin still smiled, humming. “I know,” she said

I fucking hate Aelin’s vain ass

“Is it that different? With someone like me.” “I don’t know,” Rowan admitted. Again, his eyes slid along her body, as if he could see through skin to her burning heart beneath. “I’ve never been with… an equal. I’ve never allowed myself to be that unleashed.”

What the fuck?

This is Lyria, Rowan’s former mate. She was a Fae who was pregnant with Rowan’s child when she was killed, meaning she and Rowan had sex. How has Rowan not been with an ‘equal’ before?? Did SJM forget her own character’s backstory?

There’s more unsexy foreplay and Aelin takes off Rowan’s pants.

Rowan had been bred and honed for battle, and every inch of him was pure-blooded warrior.

Oh my god, I cannot wait to see how SJM skirts around actually using the word dick/penis//whatever

Oh, gods. Oh, burning, rutting gods. Rowan knew what he was doing; he really gods-damned did.

Just... this whole chunk. This is epic fantasy. Also ‘gods-damned’ is a dumb word idc what y’all say

Rowan growled his approval, her breast still in his mouth

JESUS ROWAN ARE YOU TRYING TO RIP OFF HER TITTY

A phantom touch, like the northern wind given form, flicked over her bare breast. Aelin burst into flames.

what the fuck I am sh o cke d

Magic foreplay?? This is the level we’re at, folks. Fucking magic foreplay. The same wind magic Rowan used to kill witches he is now using to feel up Aelin’s boobs. Holy shit.

A roaring wind full of ice and snow blasted around them.

I have several questions.

Rowan’s smile was nothing short of wicked as he pulled away to run a broad hand from her throat down to the juncture of her thighs.

lmfao wtf. SJM wants to have graphic sex scenes in her YA series but won’t actually use the correct words for genitalia? Like christ are you sticking to YA rules or not???

So Rowan did, sliding a finger into her as his tongue flicked that one spot, and oh, gods, she was going to explode into starfire—

I don’t think starfire is an actual word. Also I hate these two.

When Rowan was seated deep in her, trembling with restraint as he let her adjust, she lifted her burning hands to his face, wind and ice tumbling and roaring around them, dancing across the waves with ribbons of flame.

HAHAHA I AM DYING HOW IS NOBODY NOTICING ALL THIS FIRE AND ICE AND SHIT JUST EXPLODING ON THE BEACH

Seriously what does the magic add to this scene?? it’s so fucking weird! How are they somehow fucking but also concentrating on doing all this magic??? Like what the actual fuck it just makes no sense

And as his thrusts turned deeper, she dug in her fingers, dragging her nails across his back, claiming him, marking him. His hips slammed home at the blood she drew

WHAT THE FUCK  WHY ARE YOU DRAWING BLOOD?!?! THAT ISNT SEXY THATS AELIN LITERALLY SLICING UP ROWANS BACK WITH HER NAILS WHAT IS HAPPENING

Rowan’s magic went wild, though his mouth on her neck was so careful, even as his canines dragged along her skin.

How is he careful but also dragging his teeth across her neck you can’t have both

Rowan’s own release barreled through him at the sight of it [Aelin climaxing], and he groaned her name so that she remembered it at last, lightning joining wind and ice over the water.

LIGHTNING

L I G H T N I N G

EPIC FANTASY SERIES COMPARED TO THE LIKES OF LOTR AND WE HAVE A MAIN CHARACTER’S CLIMAX SUMMONING LIGHTNING I WANT OFF THIS CRAZY RIDE

Already, she wanted more, already she was calculating how long she’d have to wait. “You once told me that you don’t bite the females of other males.” Rowan stiffened a bit. But she went on coyly, “Does that mean ... you’ll bite your own female, then?”

Aelin has a biting kink confirmed. Listen, I don’t care what kinks people have as long as it’s kept in the bedroom and everyone involved can and has consented, but this is just gross because I despise these two characters and don’t want any more paragraphs about Rowan biting Aelin please spare me

Understanding flashed in those green eyes as he raised his head from her neck to study the spot where those canines had once pierced her skin.

Are you bullshitting me. Are you actually fucking kidding me.

Rowan assaulted Aelin and bit her on the neck, causing her to bleed.. and this is portrayed as sexy? As a romantic moment between them?? What the actual fuck SJM!!! If a guy you were arguing with bit you, you’d knee him in the balls and call the police because he is assaulting you!! WHAT THE FUCK AM I READING HOW IS THIS IN A NOVEL IM DJHAFJKHDJKAFHJK

I’m done and I want this chapter to be over. tl;dr Aelin wants to bite Rowan and this makes him so horny they immediately have sex again.

They moved together, undulating like the sea before them, and when Rowan roared her name again into the star-flecked black, Aelin hoped the gods themselves heard it and knew their days were now numbered.

You’re fucking like animals in the middle of a beach where anyone could see you. Stop trying to make it all ~epic~ and ~most important relationship ever~ like god fucking damnit this Ratty/Aelin ship is literally my worst nightmare. Fuck this book.