#like literally every other day (I kept a calendar) our moms would have slamming doors so hard the whole house rattled screaming fit fights
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it makes me so sad how Raph sets himself on a different level from his brothers when he's having a big protective moment, even in more comedic episodes. I actually had to pause the screen and yell for a minute watching Pizza Puffs when he said "but they're just kids" bc it's like RAPH BABY BOY YOU ARE ONE YEAR OLDER YOU ARE ALSO JUST KIDS. But the worst part is that it's not really something anyone else seems to expect of him, it's something he puts on himself. Like, no one ever tells him he's supposed to fix everything. The boys look to him first because he's the leader, but that also seems to be self appointed. He's way too relatable and it breaks me. Like, I'll be watching and be like "Ah, yeah, big sibling moment. I'm like that, too" and then getting hit with the emotional equivalent of a frying pan bc he SHOULDN'T be as relatable as he is to me. I'm an actual adult and the age difference between me and my brothers are 6 years and 20 years. I just want to wrap this boy in 30 blankets and give him a day off. He makes himself responsible for way more than a teen ever should
#gonna do a lil tag vent don't mind me#shit was pretty rough for me and Doug growing up and I absolutely did the I Am Older I Must Protect thing as well#like literally every other day (I kept a calendar) our moms would have slamming doors so hard the whole house rattled screaming fit fights#and he would hide in my room until they ended#(Love my dad and I don't blame him but he did Jack Shit to help)#so it's like I see myself way too much in Raph#no one ever told me I had to take care of Doug the way I did. I just assumed it was that way and didn't question it until I grew up#honestly I think it's strained our relationship bc now that I DON'T have to protect him and our parents have calmed down I'm not sure how t#to interact with him#shits wack#anyways if you actually read this I'm alright I promise#everything's good now it just hurts to remember sometimes
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