#like lin singing every part of non stop

[pardonmydelays]

i need all hamildemos on spotify. like rn

[lawssword]

No one asked but heres an itemized list of the little things I love about hamilton that you cant get from the soundtrack alone

The spinning stage (it just offers really cool visuals)

The fact that King Greorge III is still exiting the stage at the start of Right Hand Man.

The way Eliza leans over Angelica on the spiny stage while singing about Hamilton's letters

Philip Schuyler's reaction to the little dance thing Hamilton is doing after he gives his blessing in Helpless

The way Eliza's hair is done it's just so cute

The only time the spiny stage moves counter clockwise is the "rewind" part of Satisfied.

The way Laurens, Lafayette, and mulegen are dancing right before Burr enters in Story Of Tonight (Reprise)

The entire ensemble. Every single one of them, especially the girl with the fluffy chunk of hair that hangs over her eyes/forehead.

The way the ensemble is very still during singles like Wait For It and other really serious parts when they're very active in the rest of the musical.

Seriously the girl in ensemble with the fluffy hair, (she was the bullet in Stay Alive and during Burr and Hamiltons Duel) anyway I want to marry her.

The ensemble carried this entire show and that's why ALL of their arms are so defined.

The fact that Eliza is visibly pregnant in That Would Be Enough (I didn't notice this when i saw the musical live in Seattle back in 2018 tbh I'm not sure if they even did that in that particular showing it wasnt the original cast)

The use of the upper stage thing that shit is dope af

THE WAY ARRON BURR JUMPS UP ON THE RAILING IN GUNS AND SHIPS

The way the ensemble takes the letter Washington wrote to Hamilton in Guns and Ships

Can someone please get the fluffy hair girls name I tried looking and I cannot find her

The fact that Daveed Diggs and Athony Ramos just let their hair down after Act One and theyre different characters, while they just keep taking stuff off Okieriete Onaodowan's head.

The way everyon is standing on something at the end of The Battle of Yorktown. Even the ensemble

I FOUND THE FLUFFY HAIR GIRL HER NAME IS ARIANA DEBOSE AND I LOVE HER

The entire stage tech in Hamilton (must have lost their minds trying to deal with this shit and they deserve everything in the world. )

The fact that Burr and Hamilton are the only ones on stage in Dear Theodosia.

The transition to Lauren's Interlude

The way Hamilton's smile disintegrates after he finds out what happened to Lauren's

The visible frustration on Burrs face everytime he talks about Hamilton's accomplishments

Burr's face in all of Non-Stop

Hamiltoms little footsteps in the "I was chosen for the constitutional convention" part

The fact that they just use a board in Non-Stop as a desk when they have actual desks in every other part of the show.

The way Hamilton smiles at Washington in Non-Stop when he says "Let's Go"

The fact that Thomas Jefferson is in a pink velvet suit.

The fact that Lin-Manuel Miranda got Daveed Diggs to agree to wear that suit.

The way Daveed Diggs portrays Jafferson is just, absolutely superb

The fact that Madison catches Jeffersons Mic drop in Cabinet Battle #1 (ik the stage crew would have killed the director over that if it hit the ground)

The fact that Eliza is beat boxing for Philip in Take A Break

Burr dancing in The Room Where It Happens

The table cloth yank in The Room Where is Happens. Leslie give me your secrets how did you not fall??

Seriously the Hamilton cast likes to stand on tables

"YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND-" As Hamilton jumps in cabinet battle #2

The way Madison taps his chest when he says "Which I wrote" in Washington on your side

The way Burr, Madison, and Jefferson kick their feet in "SOUTHERNMOTHERFUCKINGDEMOCRATICREPUBLICANS"

The ensemble, again

Why is Washington the only one with a mic on his ear

Hand quotations King George does with "country" in I Know Him

The way King George looks at Ariana DeBose then says "John Adams"

King George just vibing in The Adam's Administration

Hamilton dropping a stack of papers in The Adam's Administration

This list is getting long so expect a part 2

[serceleste]

hamilton thoughts part 1

Now that I’ve watched the Hamilton film 4 times and listened to the soundtrack more times than I can count (let’s just say I can sing the entirety of Alexander Hamilton, Wait For It, Hurricane, and Burn unprompted with no music in the shower - and perhaps more?? I’m not sure, I’m definitely close at least on Satisfied - and I can sing along with most of it lol), here’s an unorganized list of things I love!

Everything about Lin because I love him.

I love the whole cast tbh. I would marry all of them. I definitely have a crush on all of them.

When I watched it the first time I was surprised by how much I recognized, given that I had never so much as listened to the soundtrack, but it felt like every other line I was like, “that’s from Hamilton??” “If it takes fighting a war for us to meet it will have been worth it.” “I’m a trust fund, baby, you can trust me.” “Raise a glass to the four of us, tomorrow there’ll be more of us.” “I love my sister more than anything in this life, I will choose her happiness over mine every time.” “My mother was a genius, my father commanded respect, when they died they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect.” “What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.” Etc, etc etc. The writing is so clever and beautiful and emotional, I love it.

The way Hamilton pouts and poutily says “okay” when Burr tells him to sit down and then immediately jumps back up again “one more thing-” in Non-Stop.

The crescendo and then the pause before that last “wait for it” (in Wait For It, obviously, lol).

Everything Jonathan Groff does as King George is gold but I’m gonna list a bunch of specifics anyway lol, starting with that walk.

And the way he shimmies his shoulders.

How he says “everybody” so menacingly and then goes back into the “da da da”.

When he stamps his foot and it turns blue!

His bouncy dancing at the side of the stage!

Then he does that drop during The Reynolds Pamphlet lmao.

Also I love when he and Washington share the stage for a moment, the way they eye each other and edge around.

“John Adams?!” I died. That ensemble member is adorable. (I am drawing a blank on her name, I’m sorry, I know she’s the one who will be in the new West Side Story!) I also love how she jumps to put the seat right under his butt when he gets mad.

The recurring theme in Act 2 of dragging John Adams is hilarious.

“Hamilton wrote the other 51!” Leslie’s passion is A+++.

“I think your pants look hot.” and Hercules flips his coat back and shows off his thigh. <3

“Laurens, I like you a lot.” They are in love and no one can make me think any different. Lin did it on purpose! Bi Hamilton FTW.

Plus, you know, the letter about Laurens’ death is soul-crushing. Hamilton’s face, I need help. *gross sobbing*

I also love that in the background of that scene you can see Lafayette and Mulligan on the upper level reading their letters.

Or how during Stay Alive, Eliza is up on the balcony presumably writing/about to write the letter to Washington asking for Hamilton to be sent home. There are genuinely cool things done with the letters and the way the performers are arranged, like that part, or in Guns and Ships, the way the letter gets from Washington to Hamilton.

Plus the way Eliza literally burns a letter during Burn.

It’s so simple in comparison to most of the rest of the play but I love the staging of Dear Theodosia, that it’s Burr and Hamilton seated side by side but separate, and the changing lighting. Lighting isn’t something I generally notice but they do some neat things in Hamilton.

The way the ensemble holds a board beneath Hamilton to act as a table for him to write at in Non-Stop is so neat, the way it builds into the physicality of him always moving.

Hamilton absolutely wants Washington to be his daddy, I’m sorry but he does. He wants those glorious thighs and he wants to kneel down and - okay, I’ll stop. :D

Jefferson even says “daddy’s calling”. I rest my case. (Yes, okay, I know it’s probably meant more as a nod to the illegitimate son rumors but let me have this.)

Hamilton and Angelica have an emotional affair through punctuation, I can’t. The comma is legit in the official lyrics!

Their whole meeting of like minds, mutual pining thing does a lot for me. Plus combined with the angle that Angelica is half too socially conscious to let herself have Hamilton and half too loving of her sister to have him when Eliza wants him.

I had too many things so I’m going to split it up, lmao.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

[avatarstories]

izumi’s birthday part three:  sources of wisdom

The next morning, breakfast with the family is awkward. Izumi was a few moments late, having had to stop by the royal seamstress to have the last adjustments fitted for party outfit finished. By the time she arrived at breakfast, everyone was seated, and the only empty chair was between her father and Bumi. Bumi’s stony expression made her want to just be swallowed up by the floor. Maybe she could go find Druk and convince him to eat her. She gives Bumi a sad smile, and he rolls his eyes with a noticeable exhale. Izumi takes her seat quietly trying her hardest to give him as much space as possible. 

“Are we going to talk about how Izumi and Bumi are making the air in the room extremely uncomfortable?” Kya says. “Lover’s quarrel?” she jokes. 

“Fuck off, Kya” Bumi mutters, looking down at the table in front of him. Kya is across from him and leans in trying to get his attention. 

“Excuse me?” she says with a joking lilt in her voice. 

Bumi doesn’t say anything. Instead, he throws his tea at Kya and storms out of the dining room. Everyone is silent but all eyes are on Izumi. Having managed to stop the tea from hitting her, Kya bends it back into a cup. 

“Well, Happy Birthday, Izumi! What an exciting way to start the day,” Kya deadpans. Zuko looks at Izumi with a concerned expression. Azula looks ready to go to murder. Toph and Lin have their eyebrows raised and are taking a big sips of their mango juices. Tenzin hangs his head and focuses intently at his rice. Izumi notices Katara giving Aang a look that says go after him and when he doesn’t move she shakes her head. 

“This looks like a job for a wise old man like me,” Iroh says, pushing his chair back so that he can stand up. 

“General Iroh, it’s really ok, Aang can take care of it,” Katara says. 

“Uh, I kinda agree with General Iroh,” Aang replies sheepishly. 

If looks could kill, the ice in Katara’s eyes would have Aang pinned to the wall. “You are unbelievable,” she says quietly, though the anger and disappointment in her tone are unmistakable. She follows Bumi out the door 

“Looks like Twinkletoes is in the polar bear doghouse,” Toph says. Aang groans and then goes after Katara and Bumi.

“Care to enlighten us, Izumi?” Azula asks. 

“Not really,” she mutters. “I’m going to the training yard,” she announces quietly, and she walks out the door. 

Azula looks between Zuko and Iroh “I would go after her, but I was planning to go boss some staff around to make sure her party is perfect, which I think now needs to be even more perfect,” she says. 

“I will see what is bothering our dear Izumi,” Iroh says pushing out his chair once again. He and Azula leave the room. 

“Man,” Lin says “I thought mom and I would be the ones to start drama.” At that, Sokka laughs so hard he snorts, and Suki punches him in the side for it. ————————————————————————————————— 

Izumi is moving through advanced katas when Iroh finds her.

“I have told you before, forms practiced in anger are like tea steeped in unclean water, dear Izumi.” 

She finishes the form sending an arc of a flame towards the stone wall with an audibly annoyed exhale. 

“Now, are you going to tell me what is wrong or should I guess? Kya suggested a -” 

“IM NOT DATING BUMI! CAN EVERYONE STOP THINKING THAT!” 

Iroh chuckles. “Everyone used to think the same of your father and Katara when they were yours and Bumi’s ages. When people share a special bond others cannot help but wonder. But of course I did not come here to talk about your father’s youthful affections. It appears you and Bumi are experiencing a strain. Care to inform your old grandfather so he can help you?” 

“We had a misunderstanding.” 

“I know that I am old, Izumi, but I am not blind.” 

“Bumi was telling me about some issues in their family between him and his dad, and I basically told him that he should be lucky not to have the weight of a legacy on his shoulders.” 

“So your problem stems from your fear of your future,” Iroh affirms. “Rightfully so on an occasion as momentous as your 17th birthday, but Izumi, you are a kind, gentle, and fair minded young woman, and your father is a picture of health, what has brought about this anxiety?” 

Izumi crosses her arms and says nothing. 

“Izumi?” 

“I overheard some of the noblewomen talking about a curse on the Fire Ladies.” 

“And what is this curse?” 

“That Fire Ladies who die in childbirth give rise to evil Fire Lords. The spirits make them pay the ultimate price for what they bring into the world.”

Iroh takes in her words. “And so you have applied this to your own birth?” Izumi nods.

“You’re young yet Izumi, but I think you will find that destiny is what you make of it,” he says. “You and your father are the descendants of Sozin and Azulon, but you’re also the descendants of Avatar Roku on your grandmother’s side. There’s light and dark in you, and you will have to chose what nature you will allow to flourish. But knowing you, I would largely place my bets on the light side. And,” he takes a pause, “you can always seek to redeem yourself for your faults. I tried to break through the walls of Ba Sing Se, and then I took it back from the Fire Nation. Your father chased Aang halfway across the world, and now they are best friends. Azula was one of the most terrifying people in existence -” 

“She still is.” 

He chuckles. “Yes, she still is. But the original fire bending masters deemed her worthy of regaining her power when she lost it and repented, and they even gifted her a dragon egg as they did to your father,” he explains. 

“Your father’s legacy was to end a war. Yours will be the equally important one of maintaining peace,” Iroh says. “Now, maybe you should go practice that and make your amends with Master Bumi. I am off to make some tea.” 

“What if he won’t speak to me,” she asks. 

“Well then your partner dance in front of the court later on at your party will be terribly uncomfortable!” he says walking back inside. ——————————————————————————————————— Bumi does not really know where he is walking to, and he just follows the direction that instinct takes him. He can hear his parents behind him, but he does not stop. 

“Bumi please,” Katara calls. 

He groans and walks faster. In this instance, he was incredibly pleased with himself because he still remembers some of the secret passageways in the palace that Izumi had showed him as children when they would play hide and explode with Izumi’s Aunt Kiyi and Aunt Azula, so he ducked into one that he knew was coming and hears his parents run right passed. It was slightly dark inside, which made perfect sense considering that usually only firebenders used these hallways and had no need for any other light. 

Bumi went off memory and kept his right hand on the wall. If he had to figure this out like a maze in order to get out, that’s what he would do. After about ten minutes in the dark, he feels a variation in the stone that tells him he’s found a door. If he remembers correctly, this one will let him out by the portrait gallery. However, when he opens the door, he’s stopped by a piece of furniture. 

“Huh?” he hears someone ask, and soon the furniture is being shoved out of the way and the door opens and bright light blinds him, and Azula is standing in front of him.

She stares him up and down. “I would offer to help you but I will warn you first that if you ruin Izumi’s birthday, not even the fact that your father is the Avatar will save you from me.” 

Bumi remains frozen, unsure what to do. 

“Well don’t just sit there,” she says, raising a brow. He stumbles into what he realizes to be Azula’s office. 

“If you are avoiding your parents who ran after you when you caused quite the commotion at breakfast, then my office would definitely be the best place to hide. Push that back into place,” she commands gesturing to the small table she had just moved. 

Bumi has not spent much time alone with Azula. Whenever he would visit the Fire Nation, he and Izumi were attached at the hip. Every summer when Kya would go to the Southern Water Tribe and his dad and Tenzin would go to an Air Temple, Bumi would get dropped off in the Fire Nation for a few months of sword training with Master Piandao. After Piandao passed away, Zuko offered to continue training him since Sokka was busy trying to get Republic City up and running. In all that time, he’d never really gotten to know Azula. From what Izumi had told him, Azula was Zuko’s right hand. She lead his small council and sat in on meetings when he was away on diplomatic trips, which made her an extremely powerful person. 

He looks around her office. It’s clean and tidy. There is a small ink portrait of Izumi on the wall to the right of Azula's desk, and vases of Fire Lilies around the room. 

Azula studies him while he looks around the room. “Should I ask what’s bothering you or should we pretend this exchange never happened?”

“Whatever you prefer,” he replies. 

“I prefer to be well informed.” 

“Izumi and I had a fight.” 

“I gleaned that,” she says flatly. There’s a pause. “Izumi hates celebrating her birthday. She tells us every year it makes her feel guilty, but the 17th birthday of the Heir Apparent is a rite of passage in the Fire Nation.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Traditionally, it’s when the Crown Prince, or in Izumi’s case, Princess, starts sitting on the small council and has to take up a stronger political role than just kissing babies and doing well in school… it’s seen as the last day of childhood.”  

Oh Bumi thinks. “That’s why she’s so stressed.” 

“Most likely a factor.” 

“She never mentioned it.” 

“Well, you know Izumi. Unless it’s Zuko, getting her to tell you what’s wrong is like pulling teeth. She is like you in that regard.” Bumi looks puzzled. “I read people very well,” she says in reply to his reaction. There’s a pause as she regards him. “I do not imagine it is easy to be a non-bender in a family like yours.” 

“Man, you really don’t hold back.” 

She offers him a half smile. “I understand the fear of being a disappointment too. When I was 12 I was so scared of failure and what would happen if I disappointed my father. It was not even two years by the time I self destructed.” 

“I’m not going to self destruct,” he mutters. 

“Then you might need some help carrying that weight on your shoulders around.” 

He is quiet for a minute. “What if there’s no one to help me?” 

 She glances down at a small ink drawing of her mother, Zuko, and herself  that sits on her desk. “From my experience,  you can often find help in very unexpected places, but you have to be open to being helped.” 

AN: you cannot convince me Azula didn’t get a redemption arc and a lot of healing and become a strange source of wisdom. you just can’t. azula redemptions are a peak of feminist literature. 

I imagine redeemed Azula serves Zuko in a position similar to the hand of the king from GoT. 

[servinglemonade]

HAMILTON ON DISNEY+

BEWARE: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR HAMILTON ON DISNEY+

Hi everyone! I’m back with a very exciting post that I thought I would not be writing for a very long time. My review of the filmed Hamilton Production on Broadway with the OBC!! After the unexpected announcement that the Hamilton film would find it’s home on Disney+ instead of being released in theaters in 2021, I was ecstatic. I could not believe it! I have been listening to the album with the OBC for years now. I never get tired of it, it always puts a smile on my face and the occasional comfort whenever I need it. I have watched Hamilton four times now and I just love it so much. So let’s go...

Overall reaction

Even after watching four times now, my reaction is still the same. I truly believe that it is a brilliant masterpiece. That is high praise for sure, but Hamilton deserves it. I will never forget experiencing it for the first time on July 3rd. I was blown away and could not take my eyes off the screen. It was exhilarating to finally see this, after listening to it for years. It is the little details that you do not get to experience when listening to the album that I loved the most. So overall, I was blown away by it and exceeded all of my expectations.

Film 

I have never seen a filmed stage musical, so I do not have a reference. However, I thought this was beautifully filmed. It showed the whole stage when it was needed and zoomed in on the actors when necessary. It was an intimate experience. You get the best seat in the house, so to speak.

Cast

I already knew the cast was phenomenal due to listening to the cast album. Seeing them perform all the songs was even better than I expected! Here is an itemized list (hehe) of all the cast members, because they all deserve a chance to shine! Special shout-out to all the ensemble members, without them the show would just not be complete!

Lin-Manuel Miranda as Alexander Hamilton Favorite performance: Hurricane (so beautifully staged!!)

The man, the myth, the legend! I am a huge fan of Lin and his work (even beyond Hamilton)! I thought his Hamilton was great and very funny at times. The emotion in his performance was really good! Lin wrote this whole thing!! It all came from his mind, which is incredible in and of itself. 

Phillipa Soo as Eliza Hamilton Favorite performance: Burn (iconic)

Phillipa is so talented. She has an amazing voice and pair that with her amazing performance and it is practically perfect. Her acting and singing during the final song, Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story, was so emotional. It had me crying all the three times I have seen it. 

Leslie Odom Jr. as Aaron Burr Favorite performance: Wait For It (this is one of the songs that made me a Hamilton fan)

Leslie Odom Jr. is one of the most talented people ever. He is so amazing on that stage. Everybody always said that The Room Where It Happens is a true masterpiece and I always liked the song, but it was not my favorite. Seeing Leslie and the Ensemble cast perform it, WOW! Incredible. Leslie is the perfect Burr and had me crying and laughing many times.

Renée Elise Goldsberry as Angelica Schuyler Favorite performance: Satisfied (what else?!)

I always found Renée’s voice so damn powerful in Satisfied, which made me love the song more. Seeing Satisfied performed was magical and I will never get over how amazing that song is and how perfect Renée performs it. She is a true powerhouse whenever she shows up and confirmed that Angelica is one of my favorites in the show.

Daveed Diggs as Marquis de Lafayette/Thomas Jefferson Favorite performance: What’d I Miss (this was hard)

Daveed Diggs. Daveed Diggs. Daveed Diggs. Oh my gosh, he was even more perfect than I thought. Daveed is one of the cast members everyone always raved about and now I know why! If I had to describe his performance, I would say it is electric. He just immediately captures your attention. For both Lafayette and Jefferson!  

Christopher Jackson as George Washington Favorite performance: One Last Time (this was so powerful)

The first time Chris emerges on the stage as Washington, you are just immediately drawn to him (at least I was haha). He just has a very powerful presence. Especially in Right Hand Man, his entrance is EVERYTHING! History Has Its Eyes On You has always been one of my favorites on the soundtrack and it was even better seeing it. However, his moment is One Last Time. It is truly a defining moment of the entire show.

Okieriete “Oak” Onaodowan as Hercules Mulligan/James Madison Favorite performance: Yorktown (his part is so good)

Oak has some fantastic moments in the show! His Hercules Mulligan is so great and full of energy. As I said, his part in Yorktown gets me so hyped! I loved James Madison’s parts with Jefferson, they had awesome energy together. Another fave Madison line is in The Election of 1800. The first line is Jefferson saying if they can get back to Politics since a lot of drama and sad stuff happened in the past few songs and Madison is like uhh, please with a soft voice because he has been crying. So funny and relatable!

Anthony Ramos as John Laurens/Philip Hamilton Favorite Performance: Blow Us All Away (funny in the beginning and ends so sadly)

I enjoyed Anthony Ramos’ performance quite a bit! He was great in conveying emotions as both Laurens and Phillip, with both roles having quite emotional endings. I was shocked to find out there was a part just before Non-Stop that showed Hamilton learning about Laurens’ death, that was so sad and Anthony Ramos did it so beautifully. I was very impressed by him and I cannot wait to see him in In The Heights!

Jasmine Cephas Jones as Peggy Schuyler/Maria Reynolds Favorite performance: Say No To This (her vocals are so great here)

Peggy and Maria might not be the biggest roles in the show but Jasmine slays in both of them! Especially as Maria, her vocals in Say No To This are even better than on the cast album. She was amazing!

Jonathan Groff as King George III Favorite performance: I Know Him (Jonathan’s performance makes this song work so well)

Jonathan was funny on the album but when you see the performance with it, it just completes it! He was phenomenal, and I loved that he showed up during some other songs as well, for example in The Reynolds Pamphlet, absolutely hilarious! I also enjoyed his little announcement at the beginning, where he said Enjoy MY show, that was a neat thing to include here!

Favorite Musical Numbers

Okay, so these are all my favorite performance, taking into consideration the song itself, staging, choreography, and production. I love how seeing the show made me love songs that were not my favorites before! So here they are in a non-particular order:

My Shot 

So powerful, I think I almost jumped off the couch at the end because I was so hyped!

The Schuyler Sister

Even better than I thought it would be! From the use of the rotating stage, the performances, and choreography.

Farmer Refuted

This was the one song I always skipped on the album, however, seeing it here makes me lol every time! It’s great.

You’ll Be Back, What Comes Next?, and I Know Him

Give me all the King George content, soooo funny, I just love these moments in the show!

Helpless and Satisfied

Satisfied is still my favorite of the two, however it was breathtaking seeing how well the two are connected. Especially Satisfied, first the toast, then rewinding to see Helpless from Angelica’s perspective, and lastly coming back to the toast. I just thought it was stunning to see! The staging here is phenomenal.

Wait For It

The song that made me love Hamilton. Seeing Leslie performing it, made me love it, even more. He is so talented and amazing here. I had goosebumps. Even though the staging and production for this number are simple, it just makes it even better because you can just focus on Burr!

Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down)

Every time I watch it and Yorktown ends, I always shake my head in awe. It such a powerful moment in the show and it just makes me very hyped (especially Mulligan’s part). SO good.

Non-Stop

I know I keep talking about how great the staging is, but I feel like the staging from Satisfied, Non-Stop, and another one is the best ones in the show. The ending of Non-Stop on the stage with all the characters standing above Hamilton, stairs being moved from one side to the other all so seamlessly... *chef’s kiss*

Cabinet Battle #1 and #2

The energy between Hamilton and Jefferson here is so good, and I love they look into the audience and make them a part of it. Lin and Daveed just nail these songs!

The Room Where It Happens

Two things: LESLIE and THE CHOREOGRAPHY. That is all.

Washington On Your Side

I just really started loving this song after seeing the show. I also loved the beginning of the song where Burr joins Jefferson on stage, starts singing and Jefferson is just standing there confused thinking: “Where did you come from all of a sudden?” This is Chris’ moment in the show, he just conveys so much emotion in every line. 

One Last Time

This is Chris’ moment in the show, he just conveys so much emotion in every line. 

Hurricane

I just love this song and the use of the rotating stage here is excellent, same goes for the lighting.

The World Was Wide Enough

Seeing this for the first time was so emotional, the part where only Lin is singing and you onlyhear his voice... Pfff, amazing! Also how Leslie ends the song, WOW! 

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

The way I sobbed during this... I just thought it was a beautiful ending for the show itself.

Okay, that was a long one! But I love talking about Hamilton and if you read the whole post, I guess you like reading about it! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! What were your favorite moments from the show?

Have a festive day and stay safe! 

XO 

Yenai

[thecasperanfamily]

Hisirdoux "theatre kid adjacent" casperan tries to convince his son to audition for the school musical

Operative word being “tries.” 

Lin’s singing voice is the one thing he is weirdly shy about, so there is absolutely no way he’s getting on stage and belting out showtunes in front of a room full of strangers. At least, not without somebody forcing him. 

Enter Douxie, who is trying his darndest to do this Parenting Thing right. And every parenting book/advice column he managed to pay attention to all said you have to push your children to go beyond their comfort zones and do things they don’t want to. Zoe doesn’t really understand how forcing Lin to sing in front of people is going to help him grow as a person, but since she can’t foresee any irreversible damage resulting from this, she lets Douxie take charge here. 

Lin’s answer to Douxie’s nonchalant suggestion that the boy audition for the school musical is a scandalized look and a “You’re kidding, right?” 

“...No, I think it might be a good idea,” Douxie replies, choosing his words very carefully. “It’s something you’ve never tried before, and you know you’re already good at singing. The worst that could happen if you get in is you find out you don’t enjoy it and--”

“No.” Lin doesn’t even let him finish. “Absolutely not. I refuse.” 

“...I’m not giving you that choice, Lin,” Douxie says, keeping his voice gentle. Don’t be afraid to put your foot down. Be loving, but firm. He’d read that somewhere. Might as well try it here. 

“And if I don’t do it anyways?” Lin challenges.

“Then I’ll drag you down to that auditorium myself.”

“That’s not--!”

“Conversation’s over, buddy. You’re going, and that’s final.” 

The next day finds Lin being forcefully shoved onto the stage for auditions. If looks could kill, Douxie would be dead six times over. Lin glares daggers at him as Ms. Janeth (still teaching drama after all these years, bless her heart) calls him forward. 

“Mr. Casperan. Well this is a surprise...but then talent is often found in the most unexpected of places. What part are you auditioning for?” 

“Shrek,” he replies in a deadpan voice. Douxie is horrified for a split second--Lin can be mouthy sometimes, but he’s never flat-out disrespected any of his teachers before--until it suddenly occurs to him to actually bother reading the posters up in the auditorium. 

It’s Shrek the Musical. 

Oh my gods, he’s never going to forgive me, Douxie realizes, letting his head drop into his hands and clutching his bangs. Lin thumbs through the script in his hand, still glowering at his father, before looking down, clearing his throat, opening his mouth...

...and letting out the most horrendous sound Douxie has ever heard in his long, long life. Doux has been in the music industry for a long time, and trust me, he’s heard a lot of wannabes in his time, but he couldn’t even begin to describe the armrest-gripping, ear-bleeding, torturous nature of Lin’s singing during that audition. For his part, Lin looks totally calm, like this is perfectly normal. And that’s when Douxie notices the gentle thrum of magic in the air--Lin is intentionally distorting his voice with his magic. Douxie should be absolutely furious, but he’s starting to realize that Lin failing this audition would probably be better for their relationship at this point. 

For some bizarre reason, Ms. Janeth lets Lin get through the whole verse without trying to stop him. Lin finishes and looks up, face passive, though Douxie knows his son well enough to see the smug glint in his eyes. Janeth is gazing up at Lin thoughtfully, the tips of her fingers pressed together. There is a disturbing, almost manic look on her face.

“...Mr. Casperan,” she begins, leaning forward. “I can tell you right here and now that you will not get the part you auditioned for.” Lin isn’t even trying to look disappointed, and Douxie starts to breathe a sigh of relief. “...But I can tell you,” Ms. Janeth continues. “that such comedic exaggeration and ear-piercing discordance is exactly the kind of artistic direction I would like to take with the character of Donkey. I’m not really supposed to tell you this, but I project a very high likelihood that your name will be on the cast list when we post it next Monday.” 

You’ve never seen such vitriol fury mingled with bitter disappointment as Lin stalks off of that stage. 

“...Uh...listen, buddy,” Douxie ventures as they’re walking home, desperate to break the deafening silence between them. “If I’d known what the musical was, I would’ve waited until--”

“Don’t talk to me,” Lin bites out, quickening his pace. 

Lin’s name was indeed on the cast list. As Donkey. The day before rehearsals started, Zoe had to call him in sick--said he’d come down with a bad case of laryngitis. Douxie was well aware that there was nothing wrong with Lin apart from the silencing spell he’d very obviously cast on himself, but he decided not to push it. Donkey was played by the understudy, and Lin escaped the ordeal mostly unscathed.

Even so, to this day, that’s the one thing Lin has never forgiven his father for. 

Okay, I know you probably weren’t expecting an answer this long, but @dreamsarelikedragonflies pitched this idea to me and I just had to do it. Thank you so much for the ask, Non, this was immensely fun. ✨

[ao3feed-larry]

there ain’t nothin’ common ‘bout us

by angelica_barnes

In the end, their love story is the simplest one there is. Despite how messy and complicated the plot may be, drama and heartbreak hidden around every corner, their story is simple. It was when it began, and it remains so.

Their story, quite simply, goes like this: five boys meet.

They fall in love.

  or,

  The world ends, and suddenly Harry, Niall, Zayn, Liam, and Louis are alone in a haunted house in the middle of nowhere.

Words: 13631, Chapters: 1/5, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of there ain’t nothin’ common ‘bout us

Fandoms: One Direction (Band)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Multi

Characters: Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Taylor Swift, Eleanor Calder, Ed Sheeran, Perrie Edwards, Gigi Hadid, Danielle Peazer, Sophia Smith, Simon Cowell, and an elephant

Relationships: Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson (past), Zayn Malik/Liam Payne (past), Niall Horan/Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson (brief), Niall Horan/Zayn Malik, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles, Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Harry Styles, Niall Horan/Liam Payne, Niall Horan/Harry Styles, Niall Horan/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles & Taylor Swift, One Direction (Ensemble) & Taylor Swift, Zayn Malik & Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran/Taylor Swift, Eleanor Calder & Louis Tomlinson, Taylor Swift & Louis Tomlinson, Perrie Edwards & Gigi Hadid & Zayn Malik, Liam Payne & Danielle Peazer & Sophia Smith, Niall Horan & Ed Sheeran, Ed Sheeran & Harry Styles

Additional Tags: they're all asexual (sex-neutral/positive), why because i'm ace and starved for representation that's why, also because it fit the narrative but that's not important, see this is what happens when, i read Pride & Prejudice, listen to Taylor Swift’s “folklore”, and watch 1D crack videos all in one day, also "Canada" by Lauv & Alessia Cara and "Common" by ZAYN can be blamed for this, their sanity is questionable in this, ATTENTION EVERYBODY:, if you’re ever sad, just imagine Louis singing "The Principal" by Melanie Martinez to Simon Cowell onstage, or Zayn singing "I Don't Need Your Love" from SIX to the boys and Simon Cowell, WARNING: i have no idea how record players work so just work with me here okay, think the house from "Knives Out" but taller and more chaotic, I DO NOT CONDONE THIS IDIOTIC BEHAVIOR BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVE A MENTAL OR PHYSICAL DISORDER SEEK HELP FROM MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, DESPITE WHAT BAD Y/A FILMS WANT YOU TO THINK LOVE DOES NOT CURE ALL, BE SAFE AND HEALTHY KIDS, take care of yourselves, this was supposed to be a 20k quick write, to get out all my feelings during my one direction relapse, and instead it turned into this, there’s a strong possibility i may’ve accidentally made Louis schizophrenic, no you don’t understand, i just wanted an excuse to write the boys wearing soft grey sweaters that are too big for them, watch as i overload you with symbolism and details (PAY ATTENTION), this is gay, i edit my own shit and die like a genderfluid legend, somebody please read this, i poured my entire life into this story for six months and if nobody reads it i WILL cry, some of the relationships in this are pretty unhealthy for awhile, But they get better, because communication is important and actually happens, what a shock, I know, i am going to put you through hell with this story, SO, ya know, apologies in advance, Implied/Referenced Acephobia, Internalized Acephobia, this was supposed to be funny, It is not, that, Louis eats messily because I said so, he stuffs his pancakes in his mouth until he’s got chipmunk cheeks, crying crying crying, and then some more crying, oh my lin there’s so much crying, Unconventional Relationship, Complicated Relationships, you have no fucking idea how proud of this i am, i mean i'm a little ashamed, because this is the first book i've ever written, and it's about one fucking direction, but whatever ya know love is love, alternatively titled: i relapsed hard into my one direction obsession, except i have since evolved as a writer, because i started writing these when i was twelve and they were 5k max, and now i’m sixteen and i have this shit on my hands, I’m sorry, i apologize for all of this, my bad - Freeform, this is apparently the kind of fucking shit i write now, I am so sorry, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, it's just 2020, Angst with a (Realistic) Happy Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, i swear to you this was supposed to be a funny story, i don’t know what happened, why do all of my characters always end up being certifiably insane, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Getting Back Together, Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Introspection, Reflection, Fluff and Angst, Domestic, Families of Choice, Unconventional Families, Magic, Magical Realism, yeah i really just came for everyone’s souls here, forgive me for stealing your livelihood, i didn’t mean to destroy you, also my bad if i gave any of you existential crises, it was mostly an accident, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Post-Zayn One Direction, Zayn Malik Leaves One Direction, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Suicide, Bulimia, Anorexia, Schizophrenia, Drug Addiction, Drug Withdrawal, Panic Attacks, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Overdosing, i promise there's actually fluff in here, there's a lot of fluff in here, it's just always just a little bit sad, fuck this has so many tags, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Author Regrets Everything, Regret, Guilt, Abuse, Unhealthy Relationships, Fame, okay i'll stop now i'm sorry bye, please please please somebody enjoy this, or at least parts of it, also there's a lot of soulmates and ghosts, a fuckton of introspection that i should probably apologize for, but am really not all that sorry about, okay i'm really done now promise

via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' https://ift.tt/3nbKyj5

[hamanuelton]

my favorite parts of hamilton:

- “I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory.”

- every time Leslie Odom Jr. as aaron burr begins another part with “how did a bastard, orphan-“ or like in that same way ‘cause he doesn’t always start it that way but you know what I mean

- the way Leslie Odom Jr. as My Boi Burr™️ says “well, the world got around, they said, ‘this kid is insane, man!’”

- also when Leslie Odom Jr. as A. Burr says

“WHAT’S YOUR NAME, MAN?!”

- “our man saw his future drip-dripping down the drain, a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain”

- “Alexander Hamilton. My name is Alexander Hamilton. And there’s a million things I haven’t done, but just you wait, just you wait...”

- background “just you wait, just you wait”’s as hammy’s putting on a new jacket and ensemble is praising nyc

- “and me? i’m the damn fool that shot him.”

- “Burr, sir” + the continuation of this all throughout

- “If you talk you’re gonna get shot” / FORESHADOWING WOOOEEEEWOOOOO

- “i’m John Laurens in the place to be”

- Lafayette’s fuckinf accent

- “BRRRAH! BRRAAAH! HERCULES MULLIGAN UP IN IT LOVIN IT”

- “if you stand for nothing, Burr, what’ll you fall for”

- “‘Onarchy?”

- hey, yo, i’m just like my country, i’m young, scrappy, and hungry—

- the way Odom Leslie Jr. as The Hamburrglar™️ says ‘shot’ and they all take a shot

- this ⤵️

- Hammy getting //flustered// about friendship

- WHEN ARE THESE COLONIES GONNA RISE UP

- Angelica’s face when Burr is tryna tell her bout herself and she shows him up and ships him out

- Act 1: 6. Farmer Refuted

- honorable mention: “my dog speaks more eloquently than thee!" "but strangely, your mange is the same." "is he in jersey?”

- King George pouting

- Jonathan Groff’s overarticulation of each syllable as King George is a work of art

- “♪ Da-da-da-dat-da-dat-da-da-da-dai-ah-da! ♪ Da-da-da-da-dai-ah-da! ♪

- “Everybody! —“

- “We keep meeting.”

- “i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory. when’s it gonna get me? in my sleep? seven feet ahead of me?”

- “See, I never thought I’d live past twenty.”

- “this is not a moment, it’s the movement”

- “I’m laughin’ in the face of casualties and sorrow, for the first time, I’m thinkin’ past tomorrow!”

- “dying is easy, young man, living is harder!”

- “i’m being honest. i’m working with a third of what our Congress promised.”

- “you need all the help you can get. i have some friends. Laurens, Mulligan, Marquis de Lafayette, okay, what else?” — “we’ll need some spies on the inside, some king’s men who might let some things slide.”

- “watch this obnoxious, arrogant, loudmouth bother be seated at the right hand of the father.”

- “Martha Washington named her feral tomcat after him” — “That’s true.”

- “Yo, if your marry a sister, you’re rich, son!” — “Is it a question of ‘if’, Burr, or which one?” and then the little ‘hey’ ‘hey’ thing they do gets me every time

- literally the use of yo throughout the production fucking gets me every single fucking time

- “i’m writin’ a letter nightly. now my life gets better, every letter that you write me. — THE PURE UNBRIDLED SENSE OF FORESHADOWING IN “laughin’ at my sister, cuz she wants to form a harem” — ft. “i’m just sayin’, if you really loved me, you would share him!”

- the irony in “Eliza, i don’t have a dollar to my name”, you’ll be on the $10 bill, my man

- top-notch brain

- Angelica TRIED TO TAKE A BITE OF ME

- the way Anthony Ramos as John Laurens says “alright, alright. that’s what i’m talkin’ about!” and also the face that he makes

- hunger-pang frame

- “You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied.” — “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. You forget yourself.” — “You’re like me. I’m never satisfied.” — “Is that right?” — “I have never been satisfied.” — “My name is Angelica Schuyler.” — “Alexander Hamilton.” — “Where’s your fam’ly from?” — “Unimportant. There’s a million things I haven’t done but just you wait, just you wait...”

- tbh the way ‘Schuyler’ is spelled is oddly satisfying to me

- honestly just the way LMM says Alexander Hamilton+/ my name is Alexander Hamilton, and there’s a million things i haven’t done, ‘just you wait, just you wait...’ throughout the production

- “i’m the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in new york city is insidious”

- “You are the worst, Burr.”

- Act 1: 12. The Story of Tonight (Reprise)

- “love doesn’t discriminate, between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes”

- “love doesn’t discriminate, between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes and we keep living anyway. we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes. and if there’s a reason i’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died—“

- “Chick-a-plao!”

- the way they say ‘raise a glass’ is both elegant and (appropriately) reverent

- “i go back to new york and my apprenticeship” — i shouted MY BOI HERCULES MULLIGAN UP IN IT LOVIN IT DID NOT JUST SAY THAT, IF HE ACTUALLY LEFT AND ISN’T JUST UNDERCOVER OR SOME SHIT IMMA WRITE LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER

- the minute General Charles Les came into the picture i hated him so hard, even though his literal first word was ‘Whee!!!!’, though i can appreciate the sentiment and what LMM was tryna do there

- “Washington cannot be left to his devices indescisive, from crisis to crisis” — sweet baby jesus that alliteration, and jon rua totally pulled it off (i hate General Charles Lee not the person who played him, i can also appreciate the fact that as an actor it takes a lot of talent to be able to make you hate a character so easily, also shoutout to Jonathan Groff as King Georgey-Boy™️, Sydney James Harcourt as james reynolds, and the general way LMM somehow made me fed up/turn on Alexander with the whole scene with him and Maria Reynolds — and not only that but somehow redeemed himself to me which is easier said than done for characters and people alike.. i’ve been hurt too much to play like that.

- Act 1: 15. Ten Duel Commandments

- honorable mention: “if you don’t reach peace, that’s alright. time to get some pistols and a doctor on site. you pay him in advance, you treat him with civility. you have him turn around so he can have deniability.”

- Act 1: 17. That Would Be Enough

- honorable mention: the melody that LMM went with for that turn of phraseis a truly beautiful thing

- “Immigrants:” — “We get the job done.”

- THE FACT THAT MY MAIN MAN HERCULE MULLIGAN WAS ON THE INSIDE NOT ONLY DID I CALL IT BUT DAMN HE REALLY GOT THAT GOOD HOT TRIBUTE HE DESERVED

- “To my brother’s a revolutionary covenant! I’m runnin’ with the sons of liberty and I am lovin’ it! See, that’s what happens when you up against the ruffians. We’re in the shit now, somebody gotta shovel it! Hercules Mulligan, I need no introduction, when you knock me down I get the fuck back up again!”

- Act 1: 21. What Comes Next

- honorable mention: “i’m so blue” — the little squat that Groffsauce does as the light turns blue really got to me

- Act 1: 22. Dear Theodosia

- Leslie Odom Jr.’s voice is so ding dang delightfully airy

- honorable mention: “You have my eyes. You have your mother’s name. When you came into the world, you cried and it broke my heart.”

- Act 1: 23. Non-Stop

- as someone with siblings i can appreciate that they’re bickering like that’s just what they are

- “I was chosen for the constitutional convention! *squeal*”

- “Burr, we studied and we fought and we killed for the notion of a nation we now get to build. For once in your life, take a stand with pride. I don’t understand how you stand to the side.”

- Act 2: 1. What’d I Miss?

- honorable mention: “But the sun comes up and the world still spins.”

- Act 2: 2. Cabinet Battle #1

- honorable mention: “DOIN’ WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS YOU DO IN MONTICELLO!”

- tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

- “Daddy, daddy, look.... My name is Philip. I am a poet. I wrote this poem just to show it. And I just turned nine. You can write rhymes but you can’t write mine.” - “What!” - “I practice French and play piano with my mother.” — “Uh-huh!” — “I have a sister but I want a little brother.” — “Okay!” — “My daddy’s trying to start America’s bank. Un deux trois quatre cinq!” — “Bravo!” — “Hey, our kid is pretty great.”

- as much as i hate Act 2: 4. Say No To This (because for some reason i though Alexander Hamilton was better than that) Jasmine Cephas Jones sings in it is like a hot knife through butter — namely; “My husband’s doin’ me wrong beatin’ me, cheatin’ me, mistreatin’ me...”... I guess maybe I understand it ‘cause damn Jasmine Cephas Jones is so ding dang pretty and ding dang talented and wow what a remarkable person

- the way that Lin says “And her body’s saying, ‘hell, yes’ is um.. 😓

- “You see, that was my wife you decided to” — “Fuuuu—“

- Act 2: 5. The Room Where It Happens

- honorable mention: “Bros.”

- “Talk less. Smile more.” LMM being a dramatic bastard

- Act 2: 6. Schuyler Defeated

- Act 2: 7. Cabinet Battle #2

- “revolution is messy but now is the time to stand."

- honorable mention: “Ooh!!”

- “We signed a treaty with a King whose head is now in a basket. Would you like to take it out and ask it? ‘Should we honor our treaty, King Louis’ head?’ ‘Uh... do whatever you want, I’m super dead.’”

- Thomas Jefferson all like “but sir do we not fight for freedom” MY BAD SIR YOU ARE A SLAVE-OWNER HOW ABOUT YOU NOT

- mentioning Lafayette because apparently LMM has no problem with breaking the fourth wall

- “Daddy’s calling.”

- “I’m in the cabinet. I am complicit in watching him grabbin’ at power and kiss it. If Washington isn’t gon’ listen to disciplined dissidents, this is the difference. This kid is out!”

- “Southern motherfuckin’ Democratic-Republicans!”

- “The emperor has no clothes.”

- “Sir, I don’t know what you heard but whatever it is Jefferson started it.” — “Thomas Jefferson resigned this morning.” — “You’re kidding.” — “I need a favor.” — “Whatever you say, sir, Jefferson will pay for his behavior.” — “I’ll use the press. I’ll write under a pseudonym, you’ll see what I can do to him—“ — “Yes! He resigned you can finally speak your mind!” — “Ha. Good luck defeating you, sir.” - “I’m sorry, what?”

- Act 2: 10. I Know Him

- “—Vice President.” — “— No more Mr. Nice President.”

- “Sit down, John, you fat motherf—“

- Act 2: 12. We Know

- honorable mention: “You see that was my wife you decided to—“ — “WHAT—“

- Act 2: 13. Hurricane

- Act 2: 14. The Reynolds Pamphlet

- honorable mention: *DEEP VOICE* “DAMN”

- Act 2: 15. Burn

- i’ll be the first to say i wasn’t a huge fan of Eliza at first aside from Phillipa Soo’s killer voice

- this gave me a lot of respect for her

- honorable mention: “You have married an Icarus. He has flown too close to the sun.”

- Act 2: 16. Blow Us All Away

- i would like to point out that tweet where someone @‘s LMM about not mentioning Philip’s hot and he responds “I’M FAIRLY F**CKING SURE I DID”, y’know ⤵️

- “The ladies say my brain’s not where the resemblance stops.”

- “God, you’re a fox.”

- Act 2: 17. Stay Alive (Reprise)

- The ‘I know, I know. Shh.’ and the full circle back to his mom teaching him french on the piano really got to me for the beautiful artistry in it but also damn them feels

- Act 2: 18. It’s Quiet Uptown

- “I spend hours in the garden. I walk alone to the store and it’s quiet uptown. I never liked the quiet before. I take the children to church on Sunday, a sign of the cross at the door, and I pray. That never used to happen before.”

- “Philip, you would like it uptown. It’s quiet uptown.”

- “You knock me out, I fall apart.”

- “Eliza, do you like it uptown? It’s quiet uptown.”

- “There are moments that the words don’t reach. There is suffering too terrible to name. You hold your child as tight as you can and push away the unimaginable. The moments when you’re in so deep it feels easier to just swim down.”

- “There are moments that the words don’t reach. There is a grace too powerful to name. We push away what we can never understand. We push away the unimaginable.”

- “Can you imagine?”

- Act 2: 19. The Election of 1800

- honorable mention: “And they say I’m a Francophile: at least they know I know where France is!”

- “You used to work on the same staff” — “Whaaaat.”

- “Honestly, it’s kind of draining.” — “Burr...” — “Sir!” — “Is there anything you wouldn’t do?” — “No. I’m chasing what I want. And you know what?” — “What?” — “I learned that from you.” / this moment made the blow that he voted for Jefferson like a damn hole in my chest and i actually really felt for Burr. i get Hammy’s reluctance, i think if anything he was hoping voting for Jefferson would give Burr the chance to have experience as VP and then the next election he might vote for him then depending

- Act 2: 20. Your Obedient Servant

- A. Burr

- A. Ham

- “I just need to write something down.” / really resonated as one of the last things they showed him doing before going off to the duel, his life really was writing and that was the perfect way to say that in a very subtle sort of way. i really appreciate it artistically, whether it was intentionally so or not.

- Act 2: 22. The World Was Wide Enough

- okay but first of all i would like to comment on the fact that Ariana DeBose PLAYS THE GODDAMN BULLET, I JUST

- THE FACT THAT THE BULLET HAS A PART

- “This man will not make an orphan of my daughter.” / this made me really sympathize with Burr, as well as when he tries to go towards Hamilton (at least in the play but I sincerely hope that was historically accurate) / but also that fact that Theodosia Burr was lost at sea at 29 makes me sad because Hamilton’s life was taken to give her one and then she just up and disappears in a freak accident

- Act 2: 23. Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

- the orphanage got to me

- i loved that he (LMM) didn’t end it with himself or anything

- he let Phillipa Soo tear my heart out

- it killed me but i died quite happily

- and really what more could you ask for.

[sunkissedchild5]

Helpless {Lams} Part 1

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Summary: Alex, a mute high school student, finishes his senior year at Lin-Manuel Miranda High School. He ends up meeting John Laurens, a sweet boy who manages to make Alex feel safe. But love doesn't always come easily. It becomes clear to them very soon that Helpless has more than one definition.

Warning: Suicide

———-

Alex's POV

Alex has always liked the idea of snow. He's also always liked the idea of living in 'the big city'. However, now that he's actually walking through the snow covered streets of New York, he decided that snow is evil, and the 'big city' looks threatening after sunset.

He kicked a rock out of his path on his way to his cousins. I can take care of myself, he thought angrily. By the time he got inside the house, it was dark out.

"Where were you?!" Peter yelled. Alex was startled. He just went for a walk, and he really wasn't gone for long at all. Why was he so upset?

Peter ushered him inside, checking him over for injuries of any sort. "I go to use the restroom for five minutes and you're nowhere to be seen! I was about to call the cops!" he ranted.

I'm sorry, Alex signed, shaking slightly. I just went for a walk.

Peter deflated, seeing that he was scaring the boy. "Well," he said, walking into the kitchen, "the next time you decide to go on a walk, please, please, please, tell me first. You almost gave me a heart attack."

I will, he signed, taking a seat at the table.

"Here," said Peter, "dinners ready." He served Alex and himself a plate then took a seat.

Thanks, signed Alex.

"I know that this isn't an ideal situation for you, and that you would much rather be back in Nevis right now, but I want you to feel comfortable here. Maybe even say a few words every now and then?"

Alex shoved some food in his mouth and avoided eye contact. He hasn't spoken in years, and he definitely wasn't about to start speaking now.

Peter sighed and pushed his food around his plate with his fork. "I remember when I would go to visit y'all each summer when you were little. You were so happy and energetic. You would sing non-stop for hours on end. Why'd you stop, Alex?" He said.

Alex shrugged and looked down at his plate. Peter wouldn't understand. He wasn't there. Peter sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He stood up and put their dirty plates in the sink, before heading to his room with a simple 'goodnight'.

Alex stood up and went to his own room and lied down to go to sleep.

——————timeskip———————

He was lying in bed with his mom, deathly sick. You could smell their vomit on the sheets. His brother James was taking care of them, nursing them back to health.

Alex's mother was singing to him weakly, trying to comfort him. 'U-un, deux, t-trois, quatre, cinq, s-six, sept, huit, n-neuf,' she sang. Her voice was getting quieter and quieter. She was losing strength quickly.

'U-un, d-deux, t-trois, quatre, c-cinq, s-six, s—' she couldn't even make it to ten. She was gone. Alex held onto his mom, sobbing harshly. Why do they always have to leave?

Alex shot up in bed, breathing heavily. He wiped the tears from his eyes and shook away the memory of that night.

7:30 am. That leaves him with thirty minutes to get ready for his first day of school. He threw on some fresh clothes and brushed his teeth before going to the kitchen to eat a bowl of cereal. Once he was done, he grabbed his backpack and walked out the front door.

Crap. Peters car was still in the driveway. He was late for work. Alex dropped left backpack on the driveway, and ran inside.

He knocked hurriedly on his cousins bedroom door. No answer. He knocked harder. Still no answer. If this is some kind of 'master plan' to get me to speak, Alex thought, It's not going to work. He turned the knob, and opened the door.

********TRIGGER WARNING*******

There was Peter, hanging from a rope with a chair slightly off to his side. Alex froze at the sight, not believing his eyes. Memories overwhelmed him and he fell to the floor in tears.

A man shoving him against the wall and punching him in the gut. His mother stood powerless off to the side while he cried.

Watching his mom slowly get weaker and weaker while he healed. While he lived.

Being trapped underneath a fallen roof, while his brother was drowned by the rising waters.

Alex stood up and ran out of the house and to the neighbors. He pounded on their door until a man came out looking startled. Alex tried to say something. Anything. But he couldn't even get out a simple 'help'. He was too choked up.

He grabbed the man by the wrist and rushed him into the house and to Peter's room, gesturing wildly. The man gasped in shock before pulling out his phone and calling for help.

Alex watched as they covered Peter's body in a white sheet. They said that he was gone before Alex had even woken up.

Alex spent that night at a nearby boys home. His last thought before falling asleep was, 'Why do they always leave?'

——————-timeskip——————

That next morning, a social worker found Alex some foster parents. Their names were Martha and George Washington, and they were the closest available foster parents who knew sign language.

The ride to their house was silent. When they got inside, Mr. Washington showed Alex to his room so that he could unpack. He put all of his clothes in the drawers and placed his stuffed lion, Lin, neatly on the bed. Eventually, he was called down to eat lunch.

While they ate, Mr. Washington told Alex about the new school he would be going to. "There are these boys in your grade called John, Hercules, and Lafayette," he explained, "They're very friendly with everyone, and will probably try to befriend you immediately. They can be a bit overwhelming, but they mean well."

Alex nodded, not really listening. He continued to push his food around his plate. "Son, you need to eat," said Mr. Washington.

Don't call me son, Alex signed. He grudgingly took a bite of his food before pushing his plate to the center of the table.

"I know that you've been through a lot these past few days," the man said tiredly, "but we need you to cooperate with us so that we can help you. Son���"

I'm not your son, Alex signed, tears already forming in his eyes as he got worked up.

"I understand that your hurt and upset," Washington said. No he doesn't, Alex thought, he wouldn't understand unless all of it happened to him.

"And you have every right to be," he continued, "I just want you to know, son—"

CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME!, Alex signed aggressively, standing up from his seat. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at the shocked faces of Mr. & Mrs. Washington. He ran his hand through his hair before signing weakly, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight.

He ran upstairs while holding in tears, only letting them out once the door was closed. Everything's moving too fast, he thought, I just need everything to slow down. He laid on the bed and held Lin, the only thing of his that survived the hurricane, to his chest while he sobbed.

A knock on the door startled him from his thoughts. "Alex?" A female voice said. Mrs. Washington. "We just want you to know that if you ever need to talk, we're here, okay? Sleep well."

Alex only relaxed when he heard her footsteps fade away. He didn't trust these people. They're practically strangers. His only comfort that night was the hope that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow would be better.

[the-a-word-2214]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

The Singer

Anthony Ramos x OC

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Here’s the finale! Thanks to @charming-charlie ing-charlie for writing this one. I’ll probably write more series in the future but I think I might take a little break after this one. If anyone ever wants to collaborate on anything in future, feel free to message me! I’m always open to new ideas.

902 words

Chapter 8: We’ll be alright

It was quite a few months and Scarlett didn’t hear anything from the stalker after that weird message. The media seemed to die down on their relationship for a while, but then it picked back up again when news that Hamilton was going to be accessible on a well-known streaming site. All the sudden, everyone had interviews and press to do, Anthony included. He did several promos at the apartment, often talking about his experience and what life was like when he was on Broadway. He shared stories and secrets from the show to several different talk shows, including MTV News, E Network, and TMZ. He spoke with Kelly Clarkson, Jimmy Fallon, and Josh Horowitz as well.

Scarlett would end up listening to some of his interviews, but soon, he started repeating the same stories and sharing the same memories. It seemed as though the talk shows used the same questions over and over. How Anthony was getting through it with a smile on was amazing to Scarlett. She felt like she would be annoyed by the constant repetition of questions and comments. He spoke with Renee and Leslie, reminiscing on their time from the show. He laughed at the dumbest jokes but Scarlett could tell he was enjoying himself. She watched him from the doorframe. He was in a room all by himself, sitting on their couch. A bookshelf of trickets and junk was behind him. While it wasn’t the most ideal background, it worked. Then again, there wasn’t any other room that could provide Anthony with the privacy he wanted and needed when participating in the interviews. The Hamilton virtual press tour lasted two, maybe three days of just non-stop talking and answering questions. Anthony took breaks to eat and sleep, but then he was back at it and doing his thing. Scarlett had to admire that. There was finally a break in between interviews and Anthony shut his laptop. He rubbed his eyes from exhaustion and let out a sigh of relief. His mouth was hurting from constantly being stretched into a smile. His voice was slight hoarse because he just finished singing Alexander Hamilton for a fan on John Krasinski’s show, Some Good News. He didn’t warm up beforehand and was feeling the aftereffects of improper throat care. He pushed the laptop off to the side and stood up. His legs were falling asleep from his laptop being in his lap. His balance was a bit wobbly as he walked out of the room and into the kitchen. Scarlett was there, at the table, on her own computer. She could not help but read reviews and blog posts about the Hamilton film being released online. “Look at all of the new fans you are getting,” Scarlett said with a smile when she saw her slightly disheveled boyfriend approach her. She was proud of Anthony and the journey he experienced.

The reviews were glowing. Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, and YouTube were all alight with new posts, videos, and memes about people enjoying the movie. Lin had warned both Scarlett and Anthony about the surefire online chaos that was going to explode. Anthony took it all in stride and Scarlett could see that he was very happy. Hamilton was a huge part of his life and he wasn’t going to dismiss that. He could use the opportunity to plug his latest album or movie role, like some of his co-stars were doing, but he wasn’t. Instead, he was trying to keep every interview strictly about Hamilton and his overall performance on and off stage during that time. He grabbed the laptop from Scarlett and looked at her screen. She had several tabs open, each leading to a different website that had something about the Broadway film. Reaching over, he grabbed Scarlett’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “You know you’re the best fan there is, right?” he asked her with a smile. Her support really helped him be the man he was today, and he owed a lot of his success to her. In fact, he mentioned her in a few interviews to prove it. “I’m your number one fan,” Scarlett replied while closing her laptop shut. She squeezed his hand tightly within her own and leaned over the table to give him a quick, unsuspecting kiss. Her phone as blowing up, but it was from the original cast of Hamilton. Lin created a group chat to discuss the interviews and press timeline. She loved reading how each cast member was handling themselves during this time. Anthony was very active on it, mostly making fun of Oak and Daveed though. Last Scarlett remembered, Daveed’s background during his interviews was a huge conversation in the group text.

They were going to be alright. She knew that. Their relationship was up and down but they somehow always emerged victorious and stronger than ever. She had no idea where they would go from here, but she was excited to find out. “I don’t need anyone else but you,” Anthony said against her lips. At that moment, all was well. They were okay. It wasn’t a life Scarlett thought she was going to be living but she could not see herself being anywhere else. With Anthony Ramos by her side, she felt unstoppable, and she was so excited to see where their journey was going to lead. The future looked bright for both of them.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

[egg-and-koji]

“Shadows of a Legacy” A LoK Re-Write - Ch 1

KORRA

“I’m the Avatar, you gotta deal with it!” 

Those were Korra's first words to the White Lotus when they came to investigate the claims of the new Avatar being reborn at the Southern Water Tribe. Sure it might have been a bit cocky but at age six she could already bend earth, water, and fire; although she wasn’t able to bend more than a short puff of flames and levitate a few stones, she did have a good grasp on waterbending thanks to father, Tonraq. 

The previous Avatar, Aang, tasked the Order of the White Lotus with safeguarding the next Avatar until they’d master all four elements. Little did Korra know she’d be locked away with almost no freedom at a compound the order built miles from her home village. Not even her mother, Senna could get the White Lotus assigned to her daughter's care to loosen their grip on said freedom. Korra was grateful, however, to at least have her parents there; she may have still been in the South, but their presence made it feel more like home. 

And since her father was her original waterbending teacher and she accepted his advice openly, it was decided there was no point in anyone replacing him. Korra was tasked with learning the more spiritual and medicinal aspects of waterbending from Master Katara. However, those lessons weren’t very long. In part to Korra lacking any sort of spiritual connection and to Katara’s...withdrawal from the world. 

During her years in training, Korra learned from the best earthbending and firebending masters. Many of them claimed she lacked restraint and discipline. They cited much like Master Katara that she would not become a fully realized Avatar until she mastered the spiritual aspect of the title as well. And yet, she continued to beat every task they expected of her, mastering three of the four elements at seventeen. 

Korra’s hopes of being free of her prison were shattered when her airbending teacher, Master Tenzin, had to, unfortunately, postpone her training. 

Which is why she took matters into her own hands and left the compound for Republic City. She had always heard stories from the fishermen coming back to the tribe after selling their hauls at the city’s port. They said the city had a glow you can see from miles and miles away. 

 And it was breathtaking! The light, the sounds. She’d never seen buildings so tall. They pierced the sky and she swears some of them never stopped growing. The streets were crowded with all kinds of Satomobiles and vendors and all types of people. She figured most who came to the city would abandon their roots, but she couldn’t believe the number of people wearing clothes inspired by the styles of their nations. Everything about the city was amazing and she found herself… a bit disheartened; Master Tenzin and The White Lotus had made it seem like the city was dangerous, but Korra hadn’t run into anything questionable yet.

She did get scolded out by a food vendor when she had no money to pay for a snack-in but her defense, Korra always had someone else take care of that. Then, she met her first homeless guy in the park, and surprisingly, he wasn’t the only one. He explained that it wasn’t unusual for people to live out on the streets. And there she thought everyone in the city was “living it up”. Then was when she met her first Equalist; an anti bender protesting in the park. How easily he got her riled up!

Korra paid him little mind and thought, ‘Whatever people like him are entitled to their stupidity. If you aren’t born a bender than that’s too bad.’

She continued her tour of the city. Momentarily struck by the distinct neighborhoods representing the three major nations. Little Ba Sing Se was not at all that “little” and the Arctic Heights were almost like home, except those buildings were made of white stone to look like ice instead. She wondered if it snowed in the city. 

When she got to the Fire Nation neighborhood, she honestly thought it was going to be “fierier”; at least with a better fitting name than Wuzho Village. But one could understand why the city decided against it. 

Even though Avatar Aang and his friends stopped Fire Lord Ozai and ended The Hundred Year War, the rest of the world needed time to recover and rebuild. After more than 50 years, some people were still mistrustful of Fire Nation citizens, more so firebenders. 

Still, some progress between the populations was being made as Korra met two brothers from a multicultural family; Bolin and Mako; an earthbender and a firebender. Bolin, she decided she could very easily get along with. His brother was in her thoughts, ‘a giant whale-walrus dick’. 

But that was before she stopped a group of thugs from harassing an older man’s business. ‘Listen, you can’t be the Avatar if you’re not ready to give an Avatar beat down’. After that, Bolin invited her to see one of their pro-bending games. 

And the criminals? Yes, she took care of them, but...might have been a bit too aggressive in the process. 

Which ended up with her destroying some prosperity…

And then getting arrested for it…

And almost being sent back to the South Pole…

But thankfully, Councilman Tenzin changed his mind. Korra thanked him profusely and expressed her excitement to begin her airbending training...until he said she had to make her first public appearance as the Avatar. 

And as best as she could remember, The White Lotus did not teach her “public speaking for Avatars.”

170AG - The Next Day

Korra barely ate dinner; not feeling quite herself.  A shame too as Tenzin’s wife made wonderful smelling food; vegetable seaweed wraps, sweet red bean buns, tofu curry. Hmm, I might have to sneak out for fish once in a while. But her stomach probably couldn't have handled any food then. Not unless she wanted it coming back up. She didn’t talk much either, as much as Tenzin’s youngest daughter, Ikki, pestered Korra with a million questions?

“Can you really eat a whole whale?  How does your house not melt if you have a fire in them? Do you have any siblings? Do you turn into a block of ice if you take a bath?”

“Uh, I dunno,” Korra shrugged. A few half-eaten pieces of food lingered on her plate that she pushes around with chopsticks then excused herself from the table early. Her heavy fur boots shuffled along with her steps as she walked out the main building to the female dormitory. The air acolytes bowed to as she passed before continuing on their way. 

Korra chews on her dry bottom lip. Give me someone to fight any day, have me talk in front of a crowd, and well…

She's careful with the sliding door to her room, and changes out of her clothes then flops onto the bed. A knock softly rattles the door to her guest room, pulling her out of worrying thoughts.

“Korra?” Tenzin’s voice comes through the paper panels, “I came to see if you’re alright, you left dinner rather early.”

She jumps up and goes to the door. “Uh, yeah all good,” she says, sliding and leaning on the frame. “Just, uh, wanted to get extra sleep,  ya know ... for the meetings and interviews tomorrow.”

She does her best to appear calm and collected. Her new mentor eyes her suspiciously; aging bluish-grey eyes searching for signs of doubt. “There’s no shame in being anxious to speak to the media. Although, I strongly recommend you stick to the notes we’ve written for you.”

“Oh come on, I’m pretty sure they’ll want to hear what I as the Avatar have to say instead of what somebody else thinks I should say.” She says with a flourish of her wrist.

“Given your  eventful  introduction to the city,” his greying bushy eyebrow arched as he spoke, “It’s in your best interest to gain the peoples’ trust.”

 “Pft,  who doesn’t trust the  Avatar ?”

Tenzin sighs, “As I’m sure you’re now aware that the situation between benders and non-benders has escalated in the past few years. The rise of the Equalists only serves to fan the flames.”

Eh, he does have a point. Remembering the protestor and his crowd at the park makes her veins boil. She grumbles, “Yeah, I know.”

Tenzin’s concern is clear on his face. He places a hand on her shoulder and gives a reassuring pat. She chews on her lip again. Sometimes I forget this whole anti-bender thing has him all worked up. Sure, I'm the reincarnation of Avatar Aang, but...Tenzin's his son; that pressure can’t be easy to deal with.’

She clicks her tongue and gives him a crooked grin, “I’ll do my best.”

With Korra’s confidence, Tenzin relaxes, looking a few years younger. He bows his head and turns to leave.

She throws herself back on the bed. Okay Republic City, let’s see what you got!

The next morning, a crowd of news reporters gathers on the steps of City Hall waiting for Korra to come out. Her polar bear-dog, Naga sticks her head through the open window in Tenzin’s office. The building has a strict “no animals allowed” rule. That’s seal crap. Her eyes follow Korra as she paces. Naga’s ears twitch occasionally and when Korra turns to face her, her tongue flops out the side of her jaws making Korra chuckle. She scratches behind her best friend’s ears, “Oh, to be a polar bear-dog and not have a care in the world.” 

Tenzin and the Republic City Police Chief, Lin Beifong are talking to a few White Lotus sentries out in the hallway. Apparently, they are working with the police to increase security in case any anti-bender protestors show up to disrupt the event. Korra grumbles and leans closer to Naga, “I say let them, I’d be more than happy to prove them wrong on any of their arguments!”

The door opens and Tenzin comes in. “They’re ready for us Korra.”

Korra gently nudges Naga to pull her head back from the window, “I’ll see you outside girl.”

Lights flash as Korra and her escorts walk out of the building. 

“Avatar! Avatar over here!” Several reports shout immediately.

Korra holds her arm over her eyes to block out more flashing lights. Being disoriented isn’t how I planned to make my big debut. Through her hazy vision, she can make out a podium with several microphones strapped around the edge set up at the top of the building’s main steps. 

Tenzin walks up and raises his hands, calming the buzz from the anxious crowd. “Good morning to you all. As I’m sure you’ve heard, the new Avatar has recently arrived in Republic City. We’ve gathered you all to hear her public announcement and to put to rest any... troubling  headlines that may be circulating.” Then he motions for her to step up and moves back to her right. Naga and the chief are at her left. 

Tenzin left the notes for her at the podium. She clears her throat before speaking, “Hello... I'm Korra, your new Avatar.”

More cameras flash and the barrage of questions come flying in faster than she can answer. 

“Avatar, does this mean you've moved to Republic City?” One asks.

“Er, well sort of-”

“Were you trying to send a message to the Triads yesterday?” Another interrupts.

“I thought that was pretty obvious-”

Then another, “Will you be fighting crime or the anti-bending revolution or both?”

“Both?”

“Will you be working with Chief Beifong and the police?”

Korra visibly cringes and whispers to herself. “Not unless I have to…”

She grips the podium, feeling Tenzin’s stress and Chief Beifong’s disapproval. Hoping to backtrack, she flips through the cards. The reporters continue their pressure. “I-uh am honored...to-” She gives up on that card and picks another. Then another. None of these sound like me.

Ugh, forget it!

She takes a deep breath, “Uh, yes, I am definitely here to stay, but honestly... I don't exactly have a plan yet. “See I'm still in training... but-"

Quite murmurs spread through the crowd. Korra continues, deciding on brutal honesty, “look... all I know is Avatar Aang meant for this city to be the center of peace and balance in the world, and I believe we can make his dream a reality. I look forward to serving you! I am so happy to be here. Thank you Republic City!”

Tenzin cuts off any more questions and ushers her away quickly. When they're in his office he pinches the bridge of his nose and says, “I’m not sure why I expected you to stick to the cues.”

“Eh,” Korra shrugs, “I thought I’d wing it. Isn’t that how Aang sort of dealt with things sometimes?”

“I suppose,” he gives it some thought, “but he did have trusted friends and allies for help.”

She bawls her fists to crack her knuckles, “Well, looks like I’m just gonna have to make a new team. And I think I know the first two members.”

[booksfoodmusic-minion]

So I saw Hamilton today and I have some Thoughts.

Hamilton was by far the tallest!!! (6foot4)

Lafayette/Jefferson was the smallest! It was hilarious!!

Eliza came up to Hamilton's shoulder, it was adorable

"I've seen wonders great and small" - gestured from Hamilton to Lafayette!

I may have bought a shot glass with "I am not throwing away my shot" on it.... I don't do shots - I bought it purely for the pun!

Speaking of that - they did shots while singing!!!!

King George was the best - on the last "ever" of You'll Be Back he held it on and held up a finger to the orchestra as to go "nope wait for me, I'm the most important one here" - as a UK audience it was hilarious and everyone laughed

Also extra posh English accent...yeah just down one notch of the enaunciation down and yup proper Southern English accent......oof

He stuck around for the Reynolds Pamphlet????? That was great

Okay the guy who played Jefferson was amazing just wow like 5 foot of pure sass!

Soooo many actors of colour!!!

The projection of everyone!!!!! Sweet Jesus!!!! So. Freaking. Loud!!! Without compromising on tone! So good! After every solo you go wow this was the best ever AND THEN THE NEXT ONE HITS YOU! Phenomenal

Also the orchestra don't get enough credit

THERE WAS A CIRCULAR MOVING SPINNING STAGE USED OOF SO GOOD

When Angelica leaves for London in Non Stop, she is moved away on the outer circle, while Eliza is brought closer to Hamilton by the same one taking her sister away

The rotating stage was alsoused so well for all of the duels!

Just all the choreography. Wow. It blew me away!!

During the battle sections, the gunfire was loud enough to feel in your chest but not too loud it hurt 10/10 excellent combo

Lafayette singing in a French accent? Singing is so hard in an accent it was so good!

Parts of the stage moved???? During non-stop???? Did not expect and it was amazing! Not the middle, but part of the balcony bit!

The Lauren's Interlude. Ouch. The way he sings in between the spoken lines - just ouch

All of the stage placing! Where everyone stood! And how they all moved in relation to others!

Did I mention Lafayette/Jefferson???

I actually got to hear some of the lyrics I'd been getting wrong!!!

They had actual microphones for the Cabinet Battles? And had Jefferson do an actual mic drop??? (With Madison to catch it lol) and I swear Hamilton had been hiding his up his sleeve or something because I was looking for it and it suddenly appeared!

The use of chairs to dance with when moving??? Spectacular

Jefferson guestured for the audience to cheer during "What'd I miss"

Eliza was beatboxing during Philip's little rap!!! It was adorable!!

The use of an actor for the bullet is inspired

Use of silence was so effective, especially during Burn and World Was Wide Enough when Hamilton is going off about "no beat or melody" that whole section was amazing and heartbreaking

Lin Manuel Miranda is a lyrics GENIUS. Genius I tell you!!

During Farmer Refuted, he actually put his paper in front of Hamilton's face to try and stop him talking

Wait for it was incredible

The lighting was amazing!!! The way it used squared in Room where it happened and circles when the stage was rotating and it changed to blue after the lyric "I'm so blue" from King George? Stunning

Guns and Ships rap - it's incredible anyway but seeing it live is amazing

It was so easy to see which character was saying what! Instead of just guessing and getting it wrong!

Ahhh the harmonies in person - the end of Yorktown 😍😍😍

People couldn't stop clapping at every opportunity even when you could see the actors trying to move on

Burr looked so smug during the Election of 1800 and his face when it was ripped away - only bested by Jefferson's celebratory dance/wiggle

I cry during Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story on a good day but after such an outstanding performance I couldn't stop myself

Literally the best show, it deserves all of the hype

The very end where they push Eliza forward and the lights go down to just the spotlight on her..... I cried

I had goosebumps the entire time and couldn't stop smiling!!!!

The atmosphere in the theatre was great, it was completely full and everyone was so excited to be there, such a great day

Standing ovation - and so well deserved!

[notbecauseofvictories]

Hey there! First of all, your philly pics are dope. never stop w those. secondly, you’ll probably have already received at least 10 iterations of this ask, but as I can’t find one in your ask tag I guess I’ll just go along and message you. Three (or five, or whatever, you decide) favorite ships and why? I adore angst and I’m super 👀 to know your list

The….problem is that I don’t technically have singular ships I like? Both because I’m an avowed rarepair and multi-shipper and because I tend to have specific character dynamics I like, and then hone in those dynamics in the things I watch like a Type™-seeking missile.

So with that in mind:

1. I’m Just A Girl, Standing In Front Of A Monster, Asking It To Love Her (Because I Am Also Monstrous)

The Ur-ship. My One True Love. Every single story where there is a girl on the fringes of her world and a decidedly non-human thing that loves her, I am there. With bells on. Possibly also carrying sparklers and singing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.” I’m very near unreasonable when it comes to this trope, and my ability to determine objective quality and respond appropriately takes a sharpish nosedive as soon as you introduce it.

It comes in lots of different flavors, from the original (Beauty and the Beast, Tam Lin, even Bluebeard, though that’s a different ending) to the Gothic (Jane Eyre and Rochester were the only goths at their respective high schools and bonded over reading Anne Rice, fight me) to the supernatural (Dracula, Phantom of the Opera, our post-modern vampire craze) and all the way up to filmic (Edward Scissorhands, The Shape of Water, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir). I can opine at great length as to the many and varied reasons we continue to tell these stories, but honestly? I just love them. 

Examples: I’ve already brought up a lot of my favorites, so I’m going to leave you with a scene that was deeply formative and refuses to be sorted into any other category. You know in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, when after a whole movie of back-and-forth seduction, Elizabeth kisses Jack Sparrow and at the same moment, chains him to the mast with the intent to leave him for dead? 

He grins and hisses, “Pirate,” like he’s glad about it, that’s she’s a monster like him, and short of the scene in The Shape of Water where Eliza talks about how The Asset doesn’t see her as deficient……that’s the most clear and straightforward expression of what I’m talking about here.

2. Signs He Likes You More Than The Disembodied Ideal You Represent, Page Seven

Listen. Catholicism and the medieval High Romance of the chivalric code got me when I was positively formative, I’m always going to be weak for loving a person who is also some shining ideal that you hope to attain but can never touch. (Bonus points if you can and even do attain it, but don’t realize that, because self-loathing.) There’s just something about the King and the Knight, the Queen and Thief, the Saint and Sinner, the Devil and Johnny the Angel that’s always going to get me exactly where I live.  

I also love it because of the way one character’s relationship to the person can be complicated by the ideal; the more the lover has to grapple with their concept of chivalry, the kingdom, morality, heaven or hell, the more interesting the relationship itself gets. And c’mon, who doesn’t want to make out with the embodied concept of morality?

Examples: Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot (and its various permutations), Mordred/Galahad, Han/Leia, T’Challa/W’Kabi, Cyrano/Christian/Roxane, also Eleanor/Michael from The Good Place has found its way to this and it’s personally devastating to me sorry

3. Defying Gravity Explanation

The thing about emotions is that they are terrible, and complicated, and no language humanity has managed to invent encompasses them completely. Consequently, I’m a sucker for a dynamic that simply defies any attempt to inscribe it with words, and so can only be shown through the gestures and unspoken intimacy of the people who are part of it. Siblings that overshoot the reasonable ambit of brotherly love, friends whose investment in one another’s lives is weird when considered from the outside, enemies who “hate” each other but mostly “think about each other all the time and remember one another’s birthdays and maybe sometimes sit on the edge of a roof somewhere and talk about personal philosophies and then lay awake that night thinking about kissing each other.” That’s the kind of stuff I mean. 

I do not think that each of us only gets One Person (that’s ridiculous) but I understand the appeal. And intimacy so profound it overwhelms language, and becomes something unique to the people inside it? I love that, as a concept, as a story.

And of course, just. Truly, uniquely, devastatingly epic amounts of pining. No matter what.

Examples: T’Challa/Erik, Luke/Leia, Anakin/Obi-wan, Rei/Tak, etc.

[serceleste]

hamilton thoughts part 3

Part 3 of stuff I love and/or was thinking about!

The tablecloth trick in The Room Where It Happens!!! It’s so sick. I showed my little brother a gif because he hasn’t watched it yet and he was amazed.

Also I love the “click boom”s, and the way Leslie finishes it. His energy during that whole number is perfection.

Shout-out to the way Lin moves during “wait for it, wait for it, wait”.

At the beginning of The Election of 1800, when Jefferson is all “can we get back to politics”, Madison is crying, omg.

I love Burr’s fist pump thing when he’s campaigning and the dude is like “you could grab a beer with him”. 

The chaos in Non-Stop, and the way it all comes together at the end, “history has its eyes on you, I am not throwing away my shot, I am Alexander Hamilton, Hamilton, just you wait -  I am not throwing away my shot!” I have so much love. The way essentially everyone in the cast is singing their own separate part at the same time takes so much skill, seriously, respect.

Philip’s poem and Eliza beat-boxing is so funny actually watching it. Also the way he hugs Hamilton and runs off with his hands up.

The rotating stage!!!

And the moving staircase!

“When you knock me down I get the fuck back up again!” :D I sing it so loud in my car, lmao.

Also “southern motherfucking democratic republicans!”

Burr’s delayed reaction in the choreo for that is amazing, the way it showcases that he’s always, well, in his own words, waiting to see which way the wind will blow.

I’m glad if Lin could only keep one fuck in the film that he kept the one he did (“that was my wife you decided to - fuuuuuuuuuuu-”) because it’s so fucking funny, but yeah, I sing the others so loud with the soundtrack, lol.

I love Burn so goddamn much. Phillipa fills it with so much anger and loss and just pure FEELING.

I also love watching That Would Be Enough because you can literally see Hamilton falling in love with Eliza. Not just affection and appreciation for her status, but LOVE, the way he clearly never accepts that it IS enough just to be alive with her and their children, but that he believes it’s enough for her, that HE is enough for her. It’s so beautiful.

And I love that the musical ends with Eliza, with Eliza telling Hamilton’s story and making use of her time and doing what she thinks he would have wanted, but that she’s telling her own story, and what she did, and that it’s their story. It’s like through celebrating her husband she gets her own moment, and she deserves to be celebrated for all she did, too.

Lin’s cocky grin as he declares “that’s true!” about the tomcat gives me life.

His “oh shit” when Burr says his mistress is married to a British officer! It kills me.

Every time Jefferson goes “whaaaaaaaaat” or “say what”. <3

I love Hamilton and Burr’s entire relationship, that they’re never quite on the same page at the same time as to whether they’re friends and what they mean for each other and to each other, but that they’re definitely tied together. “We keep meeting,” indeed.

And there’s so many great little moments of them being easy together, like in The Story of Tonight (Reprise), or the start of The Room Where It Happens. Plus the idea that they don’t quite seem to agree when things are personal and when they aren’t, in the way that Hamilton is so offended when Burr ousts Philip Schuyler, or Burr thinking Hamilton endorsing Jefferson was the ultimate stab in the back.

Speaking of The Story of Tonight (Reprise), I love all of it, from the revolutionaries thrusting their hips at Hamilton to Hercules’ kissy face to Burr. <3

Also in the original The Story of Tonight, IIRC Hamilton and Laurens go off with their arms around each other after the others have left. <333

Shout out to all the lingering looks and touches Hamilton and Laurens share while I’m thinking about it!

Guns and Ships!!! LAFAYETTE!!!

There are so many neat things done with repeating lyrics, I get shivers, tbh.

I mean, Hamilton’s whole thing with “I am not throwing away my shot” and how it’s essentially his guiding force in life, and then in the end HE THROWS AWAY HIS SHOT. HE CHOOSES TO AIM AT THE SKY INSTEAD OF AT BURR AND MAYBE THAT WILL BE HIS LEGACY. I fucking love this musical.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

[je-mappelle-sloppy-tomato]

THIS. I'm autistic and I have ADHD so I have very intense interests, and theatre happens to be one of my special interests. I can't tell you how many times I've been made fun of for it and it's really not cool. It's ableist. How is not liking theatre kids ableist, you may ask? Well allow me to explain: When you think of theatre kids, what comes to mind? Chances are, it's constant singing, memorization of tons of musicals, founding father facts, etc. These are all signs if nueridivergency. Not every theatre kid is nuerodivergent of course, but the ones who get bullied all the time? We're nuerodivergent. You ever seen one of those tiktoks that's like "You didn't get bullied for being a theatre kid, you got bullied for singing Hamilton all the time" ? Now let's think about traits of ADHD and autism. Here's a few common ones: 1. Intense interests (obsessed with theatre) 2. Echolalia/repeating words, sounds, phrases, etc. (Acting out and singing musicals/plays) 3. A lot of knowledge about a subject (knowing everything about Alexander Hamilton, henry VIII six ex wives, knowing tons of theatre trivia, etc.) That's just three of them. There are so many more. When you make fun if theatre kids, you're not just making fun of theatre kids in general which is bad enough- you're making fun of the nuerodivergent ones in particular and you are an ableist fuck. :)

And before anyone says "wE'rE nOt AbLeIsT hAmIlToN fAnS dEsErVe To Be BuLlIeD bEcAuSe ThEy'Re RaCiSt" have you SEEN the Hamilton cast???? The vast majority of them are people of color. They have said yes most of the founding fathers were indeed racist fucks but Hamilton itself isn't because, in the words of Lin-Manuel Miranda, "It's a story if America then told by America now". Can you imagine what thomas jefferson would think of a black actor playing him? He'd be pissed! It's like a giant fuck you for being racist! Do you know how hard it is for POC in the theatre industry? How racist casting is? And how many POC have made their debut in Hamilton? Hamilton has changed theatre for the better because it ACTUALLY CASTS PEOPLE WHO AREN'T WHITE. Everyone I've seen call Hamilton ravist has been white, yet most of the cast are people of color.

Stop listening to nuerotypicals opinions of nuerodivergents and start listening to real nuerodivergents. Stop listening to white peoples opinions on POC and start listening to the people who are actually POC. Go look up what the non-white Hamilton cast members have to say about Hamilton! Listen to them instead of random white people who don't know what they're talking about! I'm white, but everything I've said on this topic has come straight from the people of color who are or were part of the cast and crew of Hamilton, because guess what? Before learning about it from POC I knew nothing about it and it would not have been my place to tell my ignorant opinion on it! It's still not my place to give ignorant opinions on something that has nothing to do with me, just like it's not neurotypical's place to give uneducated opinions on neurodivergencies, which is why I didn't put anything I wasn't sure about here- everything I said about the Hamilton stuff was something I learned from a person of color, and I am simply spreading that knowledge, and I reccommend learning from them yourself if you're white as well rather than trying to talk on it uneducated. Same with you neurodivergents- listen to what us neurodivergents say- and tell it to other people to correct their ableist bullshit!

Hating on theatre kids just because they're theatre kids is not cool and is kinda cringe, especially if there's a high possibility at least one of the audio you used on tik tok is from a musical.

Sincerely,

a theatre kid who is sick to be picked on because of a harmless interest.

[tenecity]

zhangjun

was listening to the sam willows; for love and just suddenly had the urge to write so welp here you go.

for love, by the sam willows

masterlist

zikun: 1 2

cr.@aestheticninepercent for being an amazing BUB AGAIN

❝ too many nights spent home alone, with your laughter in the air ❞       

Zhangjing and Yanjun. Yanjun and Zhangjing. It always been like this. Yanjun and Zhangjing, Zhangjing and Yanjun. Inseparable.    

At first, they just bickered a lot.

“Zhangjing, what’s that you’re eating?”

“....” Zhangjing just glares at Yanjun. “Oh come on! You’re supposed to be my best friend. Don’t tell the staff about this, pretty please? I will give you half of the noodles, I promise.” Zhangjing says as he pleads, eyelashes fluttering ridiculously, hugging his cup noodles tightly to his chest. Yanjun rolls his eyes and pretends to brush him off, but in reality, the pumping of his heart at how long Zhangjing’s eyelashes are and how absolutely endearing the other boy is, causes a flush to spread across Yanjun’s pale cheeks.

Yanjun tells lame jokes, Zhangjing laughs at me. That’s how it works i don’t make the rules. Soon enough, things go the other way round, and Zhangjing becomes pretty much the only reason why Yanjun would laugh hard and high pitched, especially when Zhangjing does something really stupid. For example, walking into a pole.

“Yanjun, stop laughing! Come comfort me.” The elder pouts as he winces when his hand comes into contact with the bruised spot. Yanjun only chuckles and laughs, telling the rest of the Nine Percent members, and Banana trainees (by text) how idiotic the boy is.

Zhangjing, also finds himself generally happier and uncontrollably smiling when around the boy, as compared to when he was with the other members. The edges of his mouth twitch as he tries (but fails) to look at Yanjun sternly as the younger waves a Harry Potter wand at him. He ends up grinning, lips pulling into a cheshire grin, laughing till his voice changes pitch.

However, the closer they get, the more Zhangjing finds himself worrying.

“Yanjun, you were, and still are sick, you had a fever just this morning. Why do you have to over exert yourself and ask a bloody heavy child like Fan Chengcheng to sit on your back while you were doing push ups?” Zhangjing is practically glowering with anger right now, hands on his hips, eyes dark as they flash anger. His heart had ached so much, when he saw beads of cold sweat forming on Yanjun’s forehead as he did the push ups, looking significantly paler than he was 5 minutes before.

“I can’t give up my perfect, handsome image, all just because I’m sick!” Yanjun tries to lift up the atmosphere but to no avail. Zhangjing’s expression only darkens. “Are you kidding me right now Lin Yanjun? Don’t you know your limits?” The boy was so angry that he pushed Yanjun, causing the Taiwanese’s legs to hit against the bed and plop down on the soft mattress. Zhangjing points  his finger as he jabs at Yanjun’s muscular chest. “Know your limits. Stop hurting yourself. You come first.” The last parts come out as a whisper and colour paints Zhangjing’s cheeks as he realises what he just said. 

His chocolate brown eyes travel from his finger to Yanjun’s umber brown ones. They stare back at Zhangjing’s irises with such intensity, that Zhangjing almost reels back, but is stopped by a hand at his elbow. Yanjun’s lips form a smirk and his voice is low and smooth, sending shivers down Zhangjing’s spine. “Is You Zhangjing, who never cared about anything besides singing and food, concerned about me?” “Shut up, Lin Yanjun.”

Still smirking, Yanjun continues taunting. “So I come first?” His eyes challenge Zhangjing’s own eyes and the elder doesn’t back down.

“So you care-”

“Just shut up Lin Yanjun.”

Before he knows it, Zhangjing’s lips are on his, soft, sweet and biteable. A soft whimper escapes the elder’s mouth as Yanjun does just that. Sparks fly at every contact they make, at every corner of their mouths, at every swipe of a tongue. Yanjun feels light headed, whether from the fever or the expert mouth of Zhangjing’s, he doesn’t know. At that, he quickly pulls away.

“Zhangjing, are you stupid? You’re going to get sick like this.” Yanjun fusses as he quickly gets up and pours Zhangjing a glass of water and passes the flushed Malaysian vitamin Cs. A wicked smile makes it way to Zhangjing’s face. He pouts and shakes his head, refusing to eat the vitamin Cs. “Zhangjing, you’re not five. Hurry and eat it, my hand’s tired.”

“I’ll eat it if you feed it to me with your mouth.” Yanjun rolls his eyes as he blushes. He never thought Zhangjing can be so open about his thoughts.

That’s how the rest of Nine Percent found them, kissing, laughing, trying hard to not spit out the vitamin C.

That’s how it’s been like ever since. Late night kisses, midnight make out sessions, caresses, touches, physical contact. But Yanjun never said a single “I love you” or confirmed with Zhangjing that they were in a relationship. Zhangjing never spoke a word about it either, because he didn’t find it necessary. He was fine with how they were, somewhere in between best friends and lovers, with some strings attached. His heart lurches every time Yanjun brushes his fingers over his, every time he catches Yanjun staring at him, every time Yanjun’s dimples appear.

But it just wasn’t enough for Zhangjing. He is greedy. He admits it. He wants Yanjun, he wants the whole world know this beautiful boy was his, nobody else’s. He wanted to tell Yanjun how much he loved him, not just for his pretty face or perfect body, but for his upbeat, firm, solid personality. He longed to whisper love songs to Yanjun instead of sweet nothings that meant absolutely nothing.

But he knows Yanjun is a completely non committal person. He doesn’t commit to relationships. He likes the idea that he has someone, but there is no full commitment. “Burden” he had once told Zhangjing. That was how he felt about relationships. His girlfriends had never lasted more than a month. His incessant flirting was evidence for that. He would flirt with anyone, even a dustbin for god’s sake, and everyone flushes under his words, everyone wants Yanjun’s attention and the boy gives out his affections freely.

Zhangjing can’t help but feel a sour taste in his mouth as he sees Yanjun shamelessly flirt with Xukun, completely oblivious to a glowering Ziyi and a Zhangjing whose eyes are sending him daggers.

He can’t do this anymore. It is either he has all of Yanjun, or none of it. Having something that is half-hearted, incomplete, is too painful. This push and pull game, this constant insecure feeling, this fear; Zhangjing’s heart and mind can only take this much. This is too much. 

Maybe because he love Yanjun so much, maybe it is because he wants Yanjun to love him back equally, that his heart is at the verge of breaking, because he knows the possibility of that happening is a naught. He can’t afford an emotional breakdown. He is terrible at faking happiness; his fans would know something is wrong and create chaos about it.

No, he needs to break it off now. It’s now or never.

Zhangjing goes to bed early, his breath hitching when the bed finally dips down and a body is clinging onto his small frame. 

“Zhangjing…” the whispers causes Zhangjing to bite back a whimper. Hot breath fans across the nape of his neck and he shivers at that mere gesture. No, if Yanjun has so much control of him, even a single breath can send Zhangjing to his knees, then no, Zhangjing can’t continue this. He can’t lose control over himself, he can’t lose control to someone who is likely to be temporary.

Lips are sucking along his pale neck, the chapped texture grazing over the skin, causing the hairs to stand. Yanjun’s hands roam under Zhangjing’s t-shirt, like how they do every night. Only, tonight, it’s going to be different.

“Yanjun, stop.” His voice is too weak, Zhangjing mentally scolds himself. Yanjun misinterprets it as a silent plea for more, so his lips sink down on the milky white skin, marring the flesh.

“Yanjun, I said stop.” Tears almost choke him. But Yanjun doesn’t stop, completely misinterpreting anything and he shifts, allowing his lips to trace the obvious collarbones of Zhangjing’s.

It wasn’t until he want back to give Zhangjing’s lips a peck does he taste salty water droplets and realises Zhangjing’s silent cries.

“Zhangjing, what’s-”

“I said stop.” The elder pulls himself up to a sitting position, swinging his feet over the bed.

“Let’s stop this.”

Yanjun knows exactly what Zhangjing is talking about, and he’s confused. He refuses to believe it. So he asks softly, as if, perhaps, telling Zhangjing to stop joking around. “Stop what?”

Zhangjing’s eyes glisten with tears as he looks back at Yanjun, his brows furrowed and hurt, pain and anguish is spelt on his face.

Yanjun doesn’t receive an answer.

Zhangjing slept outside that night. All the members knew about it. But they daren’t ask about it, when they saw the pained expression on Zhangjing’s face and Yanjun’s lips set in a thin line during breakfast.

That’s why Nongnong had agreed immediately, without questioning, to move into Zhangjing’s previous room.

“What are you doing here?” The sharp words make Nongnong flinch. God, he hates being in between couples, but he sucks it up because his mother is sad, for tian’s sake.

“Zhangjing asked me to change rooms with him.”

“He doesn’t get to bloody choose.” Yanjun’s voice raises a notch and he stomps out of the room, pounding hard on Xiao Gui’s room’s door. “You Zhangjing! You don’t just get to change rooms like this.”

His hand is raised to send down another pound when the person he wants to see steps out. “Zhangjing-”

“Yanjun, go back to your room.” The boy is surprisingly calm and unfazed by the glare Yanjun is sending him.

“You Zhangjing-” Yanjun’s eyes are shining with warning but Zhangjing can see right through hin. He sees a boy, a child, tears running down his face. Why, why, why? Breathe, Zhangjing, breathe.

“Lin Yanjun, go back to your room.” The leader stands right behind Yanjun, pulling the upset boy away from the trembling Malaysian.

Zhangjing takes in a deep breath. No, don’t give in.

The room feels empty. Too empty. Nongnong’s things fill the space, but it is still empty. There is no Zhangjing’s laughter bouncing off the walls, no whimpers ringing in his ears, no one to cuddle with during the night, no one to tell lame jokes to, no one to scold, no one to tease, no one to whine to,

no one to love.

Yanjun is an oblivious idiot. He never knew that he loved Zhangjing. He thought the sweet, aching feeling at the pit of his stomach whenever his eyes traced the Malaysian’s soft features that were bathed in morning light, was just because he ate something wrong. He thought the hiccup he felt when Zhangjing brushed hands with him was because he was thirsty. He thought that having his eyes glued onto Zhangjing, noticing every single thing about him was normal amongst friends. Apparently not.

He never knew until it all became so damn obvious.

“Hi, may I take your order?”

“Yes, um, one caffe latte, one caffe mocha, one double shot espresso, um,” Yanjun squints at the list. “Ziyi, what’s this that you wrote?” Ziyi glances over and then, with a soft smile of his face, recites it like he learnt it by heart. “Iced hazelnut macchiato, more ice, double hazelnut syrup.” Yanjun raises his eyebrow. “It’s Xukun’s order.” Yanjun nods knowingly. Of course Ziyi would know Xukun’s order. “Any more, sirs?”

“Yes. One doppio espresso mocha, Grande, with extra chocolate and extra milk foam. That’s all. Thank you.” He takes the receipt and walks to the next counter to get his drinks. It’s Ziyi’s turn to raise his eyebrows. “Didn’t know you were a specific kind of guy, Yanjun.” Yanjun shrugs, replying nonchalantly. “Oh, it’s not for me, it’s for-” The name dies on his lips. OH. Oh. oh.

Ziyi knows Xukun’s coffee order.

Only lovers would know each other’s coffee orders.

And Yanjun knows a certain someone’s coffee order.

The realisation is like a hit in the gut.

Yanjun tries to ignore the pain but it’s a bit hard to pretend that his heart is not being wrenched out of his chest when he sees Zhangjing throwing his head back in laughter; laughter not for his jokes, but for someone else’s.

Nights feel emptier and emptier. The soft snores of Nongnong don’t compare to the small puffs of breaths Zhangjing gives when he is in deep sleep. Yanjun stares at the moon lit ceiling. He used to stare at that ceiling with Zhangjing in his arms.

But the side of his bed that once belonged to Zhangjing is cold and empty.

Nothing seems fun anymore, nothing seems to have a purpose. He watches helplessly as Zhangjing gets carried bridal style by Nongnong. His heartstring are about to snap. He listlessly practices, listlessly answers interview questions, listlessly participate in group activities. It’s not just the pain, it’s the lack of sleep too. How many nights did he spend reminiscing how Zhangjing’s lips felt like? How many nights did he spend recalling all the times Zhangjing laughed and it was like the sweetest melody to his ears? How many nights did he spend thinking about the times he still had Zhangjing? Past tense, past tense, past tense.

And now he is left with nothing, because Zhangjing was avoiding him like the plague, barely sparing him a glance.

❝ how many nights has he spent alone, with Zhangjing’s laughter left in the air, 

like a fond distant memory?❞

❝ if it hurts bleed it out on this guitar ❞

Everyone in the group could feel the shift in dynamics. But no one said a word about it. That’s life isn’t it, people come and go, move and shift, constantly never in the same place.

But Zhangjing doesn’t want Yanjun to just come and go, move and shift, constantly never by his side. Yanjun is not a passerby, Yanjun was supposed to stay.

Why did he let go?

He had thought maybe, just maybe, Yanjun would come running to him, apologises spilling out from his mouth, kissing him, whispering “I love you”. But none of that happened. Yanjun just went on with life, the same nonchalant expression, as if unfazed by the recent events, like they didn’t matter at all.

Was he not worth something, for Yanjun to do something about the situation?

He poured his heart out to the ever listening leader and Xukun’s hands rub Zhangjing’s back as he sobs, waves of sadness crashing on his body. “Zhangjing, Zhangjing, hey, listen to me. Do you want Yanjun or not?”

Zhangjing looks at Xukun, slightly distorted. Of course he wants Yanjun.

“Then why did you let him go?”

Everyone in the group could feel the shift in dynamics. But no one said a word about it. That’s life isn’t it, people come and go, move and shift, constantly never in the same place.

But Yanjun doesn’t want Zhangjing to just come and go, move and shift, constantly never by his side. Zhangjing is not a passerby, Zhangjing was supposed to stay.

What happened?

Did he not give enough?

He poured his heart out to the ever listening leader and Xukun’s hands rub Yanjun’s back as he sobs, waves of sadness crashing on his body. “Yanjun, Yanjun, hey, listen to me. Do you want Zhangjing or not?”

Yanjun looks at Xukun, slightly distorted. Of course he wants Zhangjing.

“Then why aren’t you doing anything about it?”

So he’s going to do something about it. If he doesn’t do anything to get Zhangjing back, he will regret it, forever.

So he practicing, playing the guitar, strumming as he drowns himself in the lyrics of ‘You exist in my song’.

“你 就 这样 出现 在 我 的 世界 里，带给 我 惊喜，情不自已

(you appeared in my world as you did, bringing me a pleasant surprise, that I couldn’t resist.)

可是 你 偏 又 这样，在 我 不知不觉 中

(but you had to be like this, without me knowing,)

悄悄 的 消失， 从 我 的 世界 里，没有 音讯，剩下 的 只是 回忆” 

(you quietly disappeared, from my world, without a word leaving behind only my memories)

Muffled crying can be heard at the doorway and Yanjun whips around, only to see a glimpse of Zhangjing.

He runs after the smaller boy, like his life depends on it, hot tears evaporating as the cold wind cuts his face.

“Zhangjing, Zhangjing, wait.” Yanjun is almost breathless as he crashes into Zhangjing, spinning the Malaysian around, lips ghosting over the other’s, hot breath fanning the flushed cheeks of the elder.

“I love you.”

See, Yanjun. Was it that hard to say those three words?