#like ive never been an 'anime of the week' kind of person but wow i wish fandoms would last a bit longer? am i old????????? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

narwhalandchill · 3 months ago

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anyway tho like. overall (SPOILER FREE!!) natlan first impressions over last week in no particular order for me bc i felt like it sooooo

Firstly: the environments are absolutely insane like. i love the vibrancy they brought into it and the striking distinct sceneries between the three main regions (tho lowkey any water region post-fontaine is... unfortunate for basically feeling like its lacking a layer w/o diving) that rly make them feel unique!! like i havent explored an insane amount but a decent bit nonetheless and i think as much as i Liked fontaine the aboveground environments there just werent that unique which like. kinda couldnt be helped given the geographic inspirations like it was good and v beautiful in its own way but more like. mondstadt premium french steampunk edition if that makes sense. whereas natlan is already striking such a distinct image for itself and thats just great

also loving all the kinds of living creatures going about everywhere like not even accounting for the saurians genshins rly come so far from the early days of barely any non-monster creature anywhere (mondstadt cavalry but no horses moment) and i love all the creatures sm 💕💕 Especially all the surprise chests theyve incorporated into tiny interactions with the animals like it just feels v fresh and immersive. theyve rly nailed the feeling of making the natural environment feel lived in its so nice

the music is also just. knocking it out of the park like ive had to pause on multiple occasions just to listen bc holy shit its good 😭😭😭 and this is also sth i think compares to fontaine bc. i mean as much as of a cringe moment the whole "wow YPC left and now fontaine music is mid its over" tantrum was (ESPECIALLY once remuria dropped like 💀💀💀 that was just gloating . A whole music based region and culture????? ya we get it) buuut. now w natlan. i do have to admit that fontaine does suffer from some of its environmental soundtracks not being as distinctly memorable as previous nations and now natlan as well . obviously fontaine has its shiver-worthy standouts but its interesting that most of those for me are bc of their use in the AQ and that association . whereas natlans been jumpscaring me left and right on the first listen lmao . anyway to be clear the point is not me hating on fontaine music for lacking impact (but never polish or quality) in some tracks just that hoyomix in natlan is delivering some insanely good stuff rn jsjskskskakdkdk

next. SAURIANS. hoyo. Hoyo . WHY DO WE HAVE TO KILL THEM????????!??? HELLO????@?

ITS SO AWFUL I FEEL LIKE A MONSTER 😭😭😭😭😭 like the small ones?????? The whelps WHIMPERING?????? id rather you punched me in the face this is horrible 😭😭 like you rly saw all the complaints about killing the cute sea creatures in fontaine being too cruel and we dont want that and went bet 💀💀💀 why do i have to wear the skin of a baby saurians mom to murder the kids its so. This is terrible why would you do thisss. id rather merk 7848 seals in Fontaine than hurt a single saurian its so badd

But uhhhhh yeah saurians are great, i rly rly love their goofy animations and how much personality each kind exudes theyre just . Lovable shaped and all i just wish they didnt. Make them THE abundant overworld enemy we need for mats 💀💀💀

In all seriousness tho gameplay wise i really like how the saurians kinda bridge the gap between the older 1.x-2.x exploration where it was really mostly just you with your characters not that many exploration mechanics to boost mobility and traversal at all and then the 3.x era and afterwards where there are all forms of assistance from things like the dendro anchors and chenyu vale mechanics and everything bc. as much as the mobility boosts are nice they kinda had the risk of taking you Out of the exploration so it just turns into a zoom around with gadgets mini game ya know???? But i think w the saurians its a lot more balanced bc. youre still playing As a specific character with their own movement and controls not just getting warped from 1 location to another as a hydro bubble and thats rly rly nice. tho i have to say the koholasaur controls are kinda ass compared to the other 2 lmao . like ig its just post fontaine problems where we Already Got flawless underwater movement so its just. not the saurian alone but the water environments themselves just being ehhh without that added... depth (haha) there??

anyway unfortunately tho on a more negative note wrt the characters im still very uhhhh. mixed on the very modern design direction taken for the playable units and the overall lack of cohesion between a lot of them like. yes natlan is its own thing with different tribes and it should stand out but something about it just takes it a bit too far for suspension of disbelief . the three 5.0 characters i think look overall good and work well enough, but then theres designs like chasca and mavuika where its just . Ehhhh.

like chasca in particular (and im sorry in advance for never letting you unsee this either) i havent been able to stop thinking about a comment i saw about how like. her makeup is WAY too detailed and intense for genshins facial models and makes her face look really weird and just kind of like a bratz doll? compared to the rest of the cast like its really this borderline "yassified" parody of a heavy makeup look that just. Doesnt look natural nor fit in with the rest of genshins characters roster and she just looks off its . Weird. like obviously ik theres a lot of v intense hate going on for her design to the point where its actively hurtful to those who like her and idt thats good at all but this is kinda why her model has such issues for me. and the mess of an outfit doesnt help with the uncanny face stuff either lmao

mavuika is more of an outfit problem honestly like. her hair is good the eyes are amazing the color scheme is great & love the sun motifs and her hair accessory but i just. a biker????? Huh? and not even a particularly good looking biker design its literally just a plain bodysuit design without the usual detailing and dangly things to make it look better from the back that theyve usually done w bodysuit type charas (think shenhe) its just this. uncomfortable looking sausage casing of a disaster garment and that zipper is just.... not it 💀💀💀 like. it doesnt look completely awful if i dont actively think about it so its like whatever but i wish she was given sth a bit different. also ffs i hope she doesnt get ACTUAL motorbike animations like the memes are funny yeah but. thats too much for me sorry thats hsr and zzz stuff . like its just. The overt modernity in natlan isnt doing it for me very much 😔😔

But oh well i hope ill warm up to the cast over time. beyond mby chasca its not like i hate-hate the look of anyone to the point where its off putting its just a Bit of a mixed feeling for now. kinich and citlali are easily my favorites from the revealed designs tho and i do actually like xilonen as well (& kachina is baby) . n like to be fair maybe its just not my style this time around - fontaine was Really catering to me personally with the designs there bc i love ruffles and lolita style inspirations and more historical fashion references and uniform-like elements for garments so a lot of designs were just hook line and sinker for me personally lmao . but ig that does make it very fucking predictable that my favorite design in natlans cast so far is Easily capitano even tho he kinda doesnt count bc i just fucking love goth historical military uniform aesthetics so much its embarrassing 😭😭😭 dont ask me how many times ive rewatched The cutscene just to watch the way his garments shift around as he moves at the beginning its...........

iiii dont think im gonna comment on the WQs yet? since its bit of a spoilery territory and im far from done w all of them but ive really liked the ones ive done so far!!! And hmm what else

OH THE REPUTATIONS. So first RIP weekly bounties and requests past max reputation for 150k weekly free mora that was such an unnecessary change hoyo what the fuck.

BUT. i have to say. Absolutely LOVE how the reputations are now distributed among the tribes and how much more lived in the entire nation feels compared to p much. ANY previous one by having multiple settlements and communities that all get their own quests and narratives like. yes its a natlan thing bc it has the 6 tribes but i RLY wish theyll keep some version of this system for snezhnaya too bc like. Especially with the story quest incorporation into the tribal chronicles chain its just??? Such an organic way to tie a playable character INTO their environment and community in a way thats been a major failing in a lot of older SQs before like its just. genius

anyway point being. just Imagine playable tonia happening except theres also some sort of morepesok reputation questline and system like??? Actually featuring the village and its people AND childes entire family fr fr in their own storyline in a voiced capacity?? Please itd be so good 😭😭😭😭

but yeah i love the tribal chronicles approach so much its like the perfect marriage between world quests and story quests and reputation like chef kiss truly. and also new bounty and request QoL is great.

Also no spoilers but man doing the first parts of the scions of the canopy quest.... yeah i was in fucking tears . If you know you know.

aaaand i think thats it for now ??? Overall been having a great time, not pulling for anyone in 5.0 on my main, maybe kinich on my alt but cant guarantee him there . i think ill get xilonen and then mavuika for sure bc obvious archon (unless shes an on fielder HSJSKSOEKDIEI) but the big lookout is still chioris rerun lmao. xilonen and her at the same time would be ideal thanks xx

hope its been fun for yall too o777

#havent been as active in here w the stuff bc im honestly just living in the leaks sub megathread chilling hsjsjsjd #best casual chat place ever buuut ya i think ill make an AQ thoughts and theories post sometime soon as well #i have. both positive and negative feelings abt how it was executed #overall quite strong still just cant help but feel that its a shame there was a bit of sth missing #for it to deliver as fully as it ideally could have #but still a solid foundation and im super excited for 5.1 AQ developments #genshin #rambles

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mazojo · 4 years ago

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Fall 2020 Anime Opinions

Wellp, ignoring my finals and everything burning around me, my coping is ranting about anime so here are my thoughts on some of the fall anime I watched and reccomend from least to favv,

Kami-tachi ni Hirowareta Otoko

EhHHHH i am honestly a bit disappointed on this one as it looked super cute!! The animation and character design is very pretty but ngl, the first ep where they say the boy is kind of like a reincarnated version but not really (I didn't really understand xddd) kinda threw me off a bit lolll. Its fine, just a bit generic for me but I haven't caught up so not sure if it changes. The ending does slap tho!!

Tonikaku Kawaii

I..... Think its boring? ASDFGHJ I mean I feel like everyone really liked this one but like... Its just fluff? Dont get me wrong, I love hand holding as much as the next person but like ??? Nothing really happens? Ngl Ive procrastinated catching up because I feel like I am just counting the minutes for it to finish, but I hope there is more to the story because the animation and characters are adorable!

Magatsu Wahrheit: Zuerst

Again, maybe this may be a thing that I havent played the games but it just feels.... Like I am not understanding the story? Every ep they throw something different at me and just when I am understadnign I am suddenly confused again? ASDFGH I am tempted to play the games thoo because it seems interesting and have seen people saying it doesnt do it justice!

Kamisama ni Natta Hi

Okay okay now we get to the better part, I think this one is really cute!! I think if I were fully caught up this would be higher but from what ive sen its very cute and the story is funny and interesting! From the few ive watched I think this dude is my favorite character even though I know like 3 things about him but isnt he so cUte?? ;w;

Haikyuu (Part 2)

If anyone who knows me is reading this they’ll know I have never been the biggest fan of Haikyuu (thus why it isnt as high as others may place it rippp). I gotta say, I am enjoying this season part more than the otherrr because Kenma and Kuroo’s team is my fav and they've been getting some epss <33 The music slaps as always tho!!

Yuukoku no Moriarty

Look at my boy Watson being a good boi. This one is a weird one for me, maybe ill do a full post on it at some point but its.... good? ASDFGH Like ive read the manga and I am up to date and I still dont know how to feel about it? I dont really know how to describe it but disks give it a watch if you wnjoy detective-ish stories and morally ambiguitY !

Adachi to Shimamura

LoOK at THEM 🤧 I was honestly surprised by how much I enjoyed this one. The first eps I thought this was gonna be generic and what not but I?? really love them?? and its not only about their relationship but also the character depth and feelings and finding someone that understands that and ?? watch it? Also the animation is absolutely stunninggg

Jujutsu Kaisen

To be fair, this top 3 are very tied and were the ones I looked forward to watch every week the mosttt. Jujutsu Kaisen sLAps, the characters, the plot, Megumi, the animation, music, Megumi..... ASDFGHJ I think you catch my drift. Its honestly very entertaining with a great balance of plot and comedy while also having likable characters, it even Meade me take up the manga and m a n the feelings really do be hurting !!! sooo uhHHH Stream Jujutsu Kaisen !

A3! Season Autumn & Winter

N-not me becoming a Banri stan thanks to the anime........ASDFGH jkjk, but wow !!! I was not expecting for it to really hit me like that !!! I mean, this is a personal bias because A3! consumes my every living hour and I know the animation is kinda wonky but still..... The plot and characters and just everything makes up for it in my biased brain OKAy? ASDFGHJ Just........ I love them

Talentless Nana

I CANT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH BUT UHHHH WATCH THIs?? I feel like not many people have liked it or arent watching it but its literally among us with the high school aspect and powers and I just??? really love that?? ASDFGHJ I dont know man but I think the storyline is amazing and it really does hit in all the feelings :)) I would die for the three main and just...... please someone.... watch it.... I need to taLk........

#aadfgh in another ep of me procrastinating my shit #but yea !!!#Amy thoughtss! keep in mind this are moi opinions we may disagree tho thats okeii #anime #fall 2020 #anime recommendation #i am too lazy to tag everything so ill just tag first three lol #Talentless Nana #a3!#jujutsu kaisen

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liberolove · 4 years ago

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Testing the Waters (pt. 1)

Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies

Part: [part one] out of ???

Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader

A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think

Genre: fluff, smut, crack

Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans

even though you decided to stay in your hometown to further your studies, you moved out as soon as you could. your parents were smothering you and you were honestly tired of it. so, you got your own apartment and started to live on your own. everything was fine and easy so far but then you realized how lonely you felt. your friends had moved away to go to other universities, and you were never really good at relationships. the anxiety of not knowing what to do with yourself until classes started was consuming you. to deal with this, you figured you might as well download a dating app.

“Gotta check out all the hot singles in my area, I guess,” you thought.

it had been a while since your last relationship but you were sure you were ready again. or maybe you could try to find something different. maybe some hookups could be enough to help you during this weird adjustment period.

you downloaded the app and added whatever details were needed.

Name: l/n, y/n

Looking for: chat, relationship, hookup, anything

Bio:

it took you about ten minutes to finally decide on what you wanted to add to your bio. finally, you typed out:

Bio: just another single college student looking for genuine human connections. Interests include watching anime, reading nerdy shit, and getting to know you

you were never too good at coming up with bios but this should be good enough for now. time to see what kind of fish you could catch..

not even a minute after uploading a picture of yourself, a new message showed up.

Nishinoya Yuu: hey, beautiful! (;

Y/n: oh hi! how are you?

N: doing better now that I’m talking to youuuu. how about your lovely self?

Y: wow someone is really straightforward. I’m doing pretty well rn thanks. what are you up to?

N: just been bored as fuck on here and then BOOM you showed up (:

Y: lol youre silly. so hows the whole dating scene look like on here? any good ones?

N: nah it sucks honestly. But now you’re here so its a million times better!

Y: oh shush lol. does this site really work? like have you actually met someone from here?

N: uhh i actually havent met anyone yet, but ive had some nice conversations so far! ive still got high hopes

Y: have you been on here for a long time?

N: i just downloaded it like two weeks ago? idk but yeah. im hoping that maybe youll be my first??

Y: your first what? haha be more specific

N: OH sorry!! i didnt mean it like that omg. i meant like my first person to meet off of this app lol

Y: i mean if youre not busy right now, we could meet up for a coffee date or something? (cliche right?)

N: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? like... right now rIGHT NOW?

Y: yeah (: sorry for doing this so fast. you’re just really cute and im bored haha

N: nooooo its fine i swear im just a little shocked. and WOW you think IM CUTE? you should look in the mirror because your gorgeousss *heart eyes emoji*

Y: so its settled? lets meet today at around 1 pm at XXX cafe?

N: yeah! thats not too far from here! i CANT WAIT

Y: same here (:

as soon as you sent that last message you hopped in the shower and started getting ready. you debated whether to put on makeup or not and then eventually decided to do it. you wore that one red dress that greatly accentuated your butt and your curves. you checked the clock and it was 30 MINUTES UNTIL 1 so you finished up by brushing your hair and adding on a spritz of peach scented perfume. “Hopefully this impresses him.”

the cafe you guys agreed to meet at was only a short walk away from your apartment. you were almost at the cafe when you noticed the time again and it was already 10 MINUTES PAST 1! you were so scared that he thought you stood him up but as you got closer, you noticed a cute boy sitting by himself outside. you stared at his backside for a little, unsure if this was your mystery boy. so you messaged him on the app

Y: heeeey are you the one sitting alone outside with a tan shirt and some ripped black jeans?

your phone lit up with the answer to your question: “yes”

as you looked up again, you noticed the stranger you were staring at had stood up and was looking right into your eyes. once you locked eyes, he grinned the biggest smile you’d ever seen and he chuckled.

“Hi there!! L/n, right? Nice to meet ya, I’m Nishinoya Yuu. Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person!! Do you want anything from the cafe? I’m buying”

You were kind of shocked by his beautiful smile and his spiky hair. It took you a while to respond as you tried to take in the wonderful sight in front of you. He was simply breath taking. You could tell he was the athletic type by the way his shirt hung onto his broad, toned shoulders.

“Ummm... L/n? Are you okay? Do you want any coffee or sweets from the cafe?”

“OH, oh my god, I’m so sorry! I got distracted..” you said as you looked away from him, getting redder by the second. you hadn’t even noticed his compliment or the way he kept eyeing you up and down and licking his lips. “Yeah, I’d love to get a coffee, if you don’t mind. Please..”

His eyes snapped back up to yours. “Awesome, I’ll go order inside. You can just sit your pretty little self here while I do that. Don’t run away! I’ll be right back!”

now that you had some time to reflect on what the heck just happened.. you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t believe that he was real and so goddamn gorgeous. His little tuft of blonde hair at the front of his head was so cute and his smile.. goddamn. the way he looked at you.. and his friendly demeanor. it was all so much to take in. you didn’t really know how to react. as soon as you had relaxed, you tensed back up as he came back and sat down with you.

“Here’s your coffee hot and ready just for you, hun”

“Thank you so much Nishinoya” you blushed a bit as your mouth pronounced his name

“Hey, just call me Noya! Or Yuu...”

“On a first name basis already?”

“Only if you want to..”

you giggled as you noticed that he was getting bright pink too. “Okay, Yuu.”

as soon as you said his first name, his eyes lit up and that bright pink hue on his face soon turned into a passionate red

“Soooo..” you said as you tried to break up the silence.. “what do you do? do you go to school?”

“Yeah! I’m going to start going to Sendai University in the fall! I’m going to be playing on the volleyball team! How about you?”

“No way.. I’m gonna go there too! I guess I’ll be seeing you around probably. And wow! Volleyball huh? That’s hot.”

when you said that last part, Noya almost spat out his coffee. you laughed at the look on his face. he was blushing so much he couldn’t keep still. you were almost afraid he would just run away from you and never come back.

He just tried to regain his composure and laughed. “You really got me there oh my god i almost choked. But yeah I can’t wait to play again.”

The rest of the afternoon you guys talked about everything from anime to your favorite season, to your least favorite horror movie. The more you two bonded over common interests, the more he let his wild side out. He became more rambunctious and fiery and this did things to you, to say the least. you checked your phone to check the time and it was already 6:45 pm. You had no clue as to when the sun had started setting, but it didn’t matter because you hadn’t felt this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart in a while. it felt so nice. you didn’t want it to end. but then noya interrupted your thought by saying,

“Hey, (y/n)..” you two were on a first name basis already and it was just the first date. “it’s getting pretty late and I have to go home and help out my family with some stuff. I hope you don’t mind. Sorry! But we can definitely go out again if you want. i know i sure do..”

“Yes, of course! I totally get it. But first can I get your number?” you look away as you say this because this was the first time you’ve ever asked a guy for their number.

you two exchange phone numbers and hug goodbye. you let the hug linger for a little longer than you should and plant a quick soft peck on his cheek and say,

“I can’t wait to see you again, Yuu.”

He just smiles and replies, “Me too, Y/n. I’ll see you again soon, babe.”

You freeze up and don’t know what to say as he walks away. you think to yourself, “did he really just call me babe?”

#liberolove writes #nishinoya yuu #nishinoya #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya yuu x reader #lblv.nishinoya

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softbiker · 5 years ago

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Bucky Barnes Oneshot

Warnings: a couple of bad words

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary: After being injured on a mission, Bucky winds up spending a day with the Avengers newest recruit. Bucky x Reader

A/N: This is my submission for @nacho-bucky ‘s writing challenge! My prompt was ‘the smell of freshly baked bread’. As a side note, I drank a whole pot of coffee yesterday and wrote this in one afternoon, so it’s also unedited :) As always, let me know what you think!

By the time the quinjet is an hour out from New York, Bucky Barnes is in an irredeemably foul mood.

Breaking up terror cells in Germany was supposed to be an easy mission - in and out, with the practiced ease of their well-oiled strike team. Really, they took the mission to spare German special forces the trouble...that, and a potential connection to an old Red Room contact of Natasha’s. With their “dream team” (Sam’s words, not Bucky’s) of Cap, Bucky, Sam, and Natasha, this should have been a light op, a scrimmage, Nerf ball.

Turns out superheroing is a contact sport, and they’ve got the bombs and broken ribs to prove it. A train station, a decoy, and an explosive device Natasha failed to disarm. With Sam coordinating civilian evacuation, there had only been a couple dozen injuries, but the suspect had slipped away, leaving them bruised and empty-handed.

Bucky had taken a brutal hit as he pulled Nat to safety, and now he is curled in his seat on the jet, metal hand holding his ribcage. He watches Steve scowl in the cockpit, jaw unflinchingly tight as he goes over the mission in his head. The captain doesn’t know how to let things go - never has, never will. Sam is actually piloting the quinjet, making unreturned small talk about a basketball game he went to last weekend. Natasha sits across from Bucky, a Stark tablet in her hands, dissecting bomb schematics and diagrams of diffusion techniques. There’s a little scab of dried blood on her bottom lip that she pokes at with her tongue, red brows lowered in concentration.

Bucky is exhausted - his hair smells like dust and smoke, his mouth is tangy and dry. There’s dried sweat underneath his uniform and he itches and his feet are hot in his boots and his ribs really fucking hurt. He lets his head fall back against the seat, and wishes they were home already.

**********

She pops her head up over the back of the couch when she hears them. What a sight they make: Bucky, propped up on Steve’s shoulder, Natasha dust-covered and buried in her tablet, Sam still sweaty and tugging at the harness on his suit. She still smiles, tentative but kind.

“Hi guys.” She lifts her fingers in a little wave. “Everyone okay?”

Bucky grunts in response; Natasha says nothing, making a beeline for her room and a shower. Sam, without doubt the most talkative person on the team, props himself on a stool and blows a harsh breath past his lips.

“We’re alright, yeah,” he sighed. “Barnes is a little beat up but he’ll get over it - he’s just dramatic.”

“Fuck you, too, Wilson.” Bucky flips Sam off over his shoulder as they hobble towards the elevators.

She winces, not yet used to their harsh banter.

“Hey man, be nice in front of the rookie, alright?” Sam hollers, mock-offended. “You’re creating a hostile work environment!”

Steve chuckles a little at that, jostling Bucky’s tender ribs, which makes him scowl at his best friend.

“Bucky is a hostile work environment,” Steve deadpans. They’ve reached the elevator, and shuffle inside, turning to face the common room. Bucky catches the rookie’s eyes as she giggles behind her hand.

“She’s fine,” he rolls his eyes, sparing a wink for the rookie. “When I make it hostile, bird brain, you’ll know.”

The elevator doors close, and he leans on Steve a little heavier, and jabs his elbow into Steve’s stomach.

“Thanks a lot for that, by the way,” he huffs.

“What?” Steve feigns innocence, and very poorly. “Didn’t know you were so worried about making a good impression on the rookie.”

“I’m - I’m not.”

“Uh huh.”

“Shut up.”

They meet Dr. Banner in the medical wing where his lab adjoins the clinic; Sam had messaged him half an hour ago that they were inbound with a broken supersoldier, and Bruce had taken the liberty of setting up some of his supplies. Of all the doctors on staff, Bucky favored Dr. Banner - he was mild and soft-spoken enough to not trigger Bucky’s anxiety, in spite of the needles and IV drips and the snapping of latex gloves.

An X-ray and some bandages later, Bucky is removed from the active duty list for two weeks.

“Even with your advanced healing factor, I wanna be careful with this,” Bruce says, taking off his glasses to scratch the side of his nose. “I mean, your medical history is a little blurry, to say the least - and with all the shit HYDRA pulled, who knows what kind of stress your bones have been through before.” He taps away on his tablet, notifying FRIDAY and the admin system to remove Bucky from the roster. “In the meantime, take it easy - no missions, no training, no lifting weights. Probably avoid the motorcycle, too. I’ll check on them again in two weeks, and we’ll go from there.”

Steve is nodding - he never leaves Bucky by himself in medical - and crosses his arms. Neither of them have changed out of their uniforms yet, and in this sterile observation room, Bucky can finally smell the layers of grime and sweat clinging to them. His nose wrinkles when he gets a little whiff of himself, feeling bad for the nurse who bandaged his ribs.

“Oh I almost forgot -” Bruce turns around and reaches for something on his lab bench. A little blue bottle, full of round white pills. “Here. I developed these for the two of you - since you metabolize normal painkillers so quickly, I figured we might need something that would work in the event you sustain heavy injuries which…well, seemed likely. Take 2 every 4 hours, okay?”

His metal fingers grip the little bottle, rattling the tablets inside.

“Sure thing, doc.”

**********

She lifts the hem of her shirt, wiping at the sweat on her forehead, and leans against the wall of the gym. Her breath comes in short pants as her chest heaves, trying to cool down from her last bout with Agent Romanoff.

“Heads up.”

Her hands barely make it up in time to catch the flying water bottle headed for her face.

“Good catch,” Romanoff smirks a little. She’s sweating, too, but in a way that’s decidedly more sexy, little red curls hanging by her face. She looks fresh from a Pilates class, not a suicide workout - the rookie can feel the heat of her own face, the sweat drenching her clothes, and knows she’s not nearly as glowing as her trainer.

“You did really good today,” Romanoff continues. She keeps saying to call her “Natasha” but that is so hard to do with a woman so intimidating her alias is one of the world’s deadliest animals. “Really good. You’ve shown tons of improvement since we started. I’m going to recommend we start letting you shadow on missions in a couple more weeks.”

“Wow, really?” Her face lit up in spite of her exhaustion.

“Sure.” Natasha smiles. “I know it’s gotten a little boring, having you go through all of this.”

“Boring” was an understatement. Despite having a few years of experience under her belt - well, according to Tony Stark, vigilantism barely counts as “experience” - the rookie was assigned to a training program for her first couple of months on the team.

“Too much of a risk to put you in the field right away,” Stark had rattled off, handing her forms to sign and an official t-shirt (‘Look Mom! I’m an Avenger!’) and a tablet with a map of the compound. “Legal says we can avoid liability issues with a training program before we gradually phase you in, and I’m inclined to agree, so! Welcome to the team, but not officially!”

Her days consisted of early morning workouts, followed by combat and tactical training with Black Widow herself, and then...well, not much. There was research, of course, and she stayed on top of the intelligence briefings with the rest of the team. She went to meetings and official dinners and unofficial karaoke nights, but the rest of her time was mostly her own. Frankly, she was chomping at the bit to get back out there, in the action. Helping people.

“Well, hopefully it’ll pay off,” she sighs, giving Agent Romanoff an exhausted smile. “I wouldn’t want to be the weak link on the team.”

“You won’t be, believe me,” Natasha shakes her head. With a glance at her watch, she picks up her own water bottle and heads for the door. “Now I’ve gotta run, Skype meeting with Fury in 5. I’ll see you later, Rookie!”

**********

Bucky Barnes was feeling good.

Like, damn good.

Like, ‘Banner should label his controlled substances’ good.

Thing is, post-HYDRA and post-fugitive and post-cognitive reconstruction therapy, Bucky was more mentally okay than he had been in decades. He had the occasional rough day, and he definitely wasn’t perfect by any means, but with the shrinks that Stark had on retainer, he was getting better at dealing with it all. His physical health, however, was more of a moving target. In spite of receiving a bastardized supersoldier serum, he had been pumped full of so much other shit and gone through so much physical stress that his body had fundamentally shifted equilibrium. Multiple appointments with Dr. Cho and Shuri revealed that his chronic pain may never fully heal - if it did, it would be a very gradual process. Normal painkillers in reasonable doses did nothing for him, so Bucky settled in to his discomfort, carrying it the way he carried his knives and his scars - always.

24 hours into his medical leave, a few doses of pills down, and he couldn’t feel a single ounce of pain in his body - he shifted his awareness to each part of himself, like that guided meditation thing Wanda did sometimes, and he couldn’t find the pain, not even lurking behind the muscle and metal. He might be a little miffed at being off the active duty roster, but if his whole vacation is going to feel like this? Well, he doesn’t mind to let Steve handle the next threat to world peace.

With his schedule suddenly wide open, Bucky wonders what he’ll do with his day. He can’t remember the last time he truly had nothing to do - it’s an exciting prospect. So he lets himself ease through his morning, sleeping in, long hot shower, slipping on those plush Black Widow pajama pants Nat gave him as a gag gift. He knows everyone else will have had their breakfast and moved on to morning briefings and training drills by now, and he wanders down to the kitchen in the hopes that they’ve left him some coffee.

He sees her there, perched on a stool at the island and frowning at the tablet in her hand. There’s a little scrunch to her nose when she does that, he notices.

“Good morning,” he says softly, trying and failing not to startle her.

“Oh, hey Bucky,” she smiles, watches him round the island to the coffee pot on the counter. “I didn’t see you there.”

“S’okay. I’m quiet.”

“You didn’t get tapped for the recovery mission? They’re going after your suspect from Berlin again, I think.”

“Oh, I’m off missions for two weeks.” He turns, giant ‘Don’t forget to be awesome’ mug gripped in his metal hand. “Banner’s orders. You didn’t hear about my smashed ribs?”

“Oh no, I guess not - are you okay?” Suddenly she’s concerned, and a little sheepish. “Sorry, I’m still a little out of the loop I guess.”

He feels guilty for that - she’s eager, bright, kind, a brilliant recruit. But it can take a while before you’re ‘in’ with the team. Not because they exclude her, but, well - a group made up of outsiders has a hard time adding new faces to the mix.

“Don’t apologize. Not your fault.” Bucky digs around in a jar on the counter for a few sugar packets, dumping them into his mug. “Anyways, I’m off the roster for now. Gotta figure out something to do with myself, I guess.”

Her smile is slow, ducked under pretty lashes - he really needs to stop noticing these things.

“Would you - I mean, you can hang out with me if you want?” She chews on her lip. “I’m done for today - my training with Natasha ended early and they didn’t need me in on the briefing so…”

The rookie was lonely - he could see that, anyone could. The fact is, between their own training and missions, it had been a little hard for the team to spend very much time with her. Bucky himself was often a bit of a loner in his free time, preferring to hole up in his room with books and movies rather than go out for drinks or another karaoke night. And yet, he found himself feeling eager at the thought of spending a relaxing day with the new recruit, getting to know her a little, hearing that funny little laugh through her nose.

“Sounds great, Rookie - what did ya have in mind?”

**********

“Okay, I just wanna go on the record and say I called it. I called it!” She’s grinning. “I knew you would love this.”

“Well, hey, in my defense, I’ve never hated beautiful women.”

She just rolls her eyes, kicks her feet out to rest on the coffee table in front of them. There’s a pile of DVD’s, all hers, laying across the surface, picked through and ranked in order of what was most important for Bucky to see. His film education was obviously lacking, considering he missed out on 70 years of movies, and didn’t even know what he liked anymore, so he was content to let her pick. After raiding the kitchen for an array of snacks, they settled in, opposite ends of the same couch with a bowl of popcorn and dark chocolate M&M’s between them.

Approximately 20 minutes into the movie, Steve appears, just passing through for an apple from the fridge. He stops in his tracks behind the couch, the crunch of the fruit in his mouth just above their heads.

“What is this?” he says around his mouthful. If his Ma could see him now, Bucky thinks.

“It’s called ‘How to Marry a Millionaire’ - came out in 1953,” she answers, smiling over her shoulder at him. “It’s one of my favorites honestly.”

“That’s - that’s Lauren Bacall!” Steve perks up, smacking Bucky’s shoulder.

“Yeah, punk,” Bucky rolls his eyes. “Betty Grable’s in it, too.”

“No shit!” Steve is grinning now, and he gives the rookie a conspiratorial look. “Y’know, Bucky used to have her pin-up poster. The one in the white bathing suit? Had it in his suitcase when he shipped out.”

“Oh, really?” She’s looking at him now, eyes sparkling at the rosy blush climbing up Bucky’s cheeks. “Betty Grable, huh?”

He clears his throat. “Well, everybody had that picture, I mean...it’s famous for a reason. All the boys had ‘em.”

“No, no, I get that,” she shrugs. “I just had you pegged as more the Rita Hayworth type, that’s all.”

It takes him back for a second, Steve too, that she knows these starlets, that they could’ve been having this same conversation 75 years ago. He can see that look in Steve’s eyes, sly and knowing as they slide towards him. Bucky works his mouth, tries to control his smile.

“Well, nothing wrong with her either,” he drawls, spreading his arms along the back of the couch. “But did you see Grable’s legs?”

“I just thought you might’ve had a thing for redheads!” she laughs.

“They’re alright, I guess - now Dugan on the other hand…”

Neither of them notices Steve leave the room, tossing the apple in his hand and a huge dopey grin on his face.

**********

“Tell me again what the recipe says?”

“One cup of pumpkin puree.”

“Oh - shit, I thought you said one can.”

She smacks her forehead. “No wonder the batter is so goopy!” She rolls her eyes playfully. “You’re trying to ruin my bread, Barnes.”

“I swear I’m not, doll - it was an accident.”

“Okay, new plan - we just make a double batch since the can has two cups in it.”

She shuffles around behind him, grabbing her flour and sugar and sour cream and other ingredients, hands flurrying to measure and fix the dough. It’s mid-afternoon now, a couple of movies down, and they (she) decided they needed to get in the fall spirit by baking a ridiculous amount of...breads. The banana bread is already in the oven, the pumpkin will be on its way as soon as she fixes his mistake, and a blueberry bread (made from muffin mix) is next on the list.

“But...what’s so special about making it into breads?” He had asked, causing her to look at him like an idiot.

“Ask me that again after you try them, Bucky.”

So he shut up and cracked eggs and sifted flour, stirring when her arm got tired. He was already regretting his words now that the smell of the banana bread was drifting towards him from the ovens, and he had to admit the pumpkin and cinnamon from her bowl was making his stomach growl. With all the bowls and measuring cups laying around, they were making enough sweet breads to feed an army, but hey - the Avengers are practically a small army of their own. And besides, Bucky intends on taking an entire loaf - baker’s privilege.

He decides that he likes watching her work, bouncing around the kitchen, some oldies playlist on the speakers, her tongue poking out between her lips. She’s got her sweater sleeves pushed up over her elbows - he had to help with that, after she got dough on them. This song is good, too, and he wants to ask her who wrote it-

“Are you gonna stand there staring at me, or are you gonna help?” she quips over her shoulder. He has no idea when he last smiled so much.

“You’re the boss, Rookie.”

**********

She’s got her feet in his lap now, and they haven’t said a word in an hour, and Bucky doesn’t even remember taking his last dose or two of his pain pills but he doesn’t feel a goddamn thing.

There’s a huge book in her lap, Stephen King - a favorite, he’s learned.

“I read at least one of his books every year in October,” she tells him. “You know, to get ready for spooky season.”

“Spooky season? What the hell is that?”

“You know, Halloween time!” she smacks his arm. “It’s Halloween first, Buck, you gotta get in the spirit.”

“I’m -” he sputters, face drawn in the most adorably confused look. “Halloween first?”

She hands him a book of his own and now here they are - he’s 20 pages into The Shining, but he’s stopped paying attention because she’s yawning behind her book and her eyes are fluttering shut, and it shouldn’t be as distracting as it is.

He forces his eyes down to his own page, to Jack Torrance and haunted hotels, but they’re drawn back up when her book finally drops the rest of the way to her lap. Her head slumps sideways onto the back of the couch, mouth open just a little. He draws the blanket down around her feet and tucks it in a little tighter, but other than that, doesn’t move a muscle. He’s just fine right here, thank you.

He’s sinking in again, driving up the twisting mountain road to the Overlook, when his phone buzzes in his pocket. Carefully - in the way highly trained superspies can be careful - he lifts his hips up and pulls his phone from his pocket, managing not to dislodge her feet or wake her up. She merely sighs in her sleep, nuzzling her face into the couch pillow. A text notification from team group message lights up the screen.

It’s Natasha. A photo, a photo which she somehow managed to take without him knowing, of him and the rookie, practically snuggling on the couch and reading together. Her legs are propped over his lap, and Bucky’s eyes are staring straight at her over the top of his book. Nat has captioned the photo: “looks like Barnes found a good nurse.”

He snorts a little. Natalia. Glances up at her, still sleeping, and tilts his phone upwards a few degrees and snaps a picture to send back.

“She sleeps on the job” he types, thumbs still slow on the phone keyboard. Instantly, his phone starts buzzing with more texts from the team, but he mutes it and lays his phone on the coffee table. He doesn’t feel like talking now. Well, talking to them.

“Hey...Rookie,” he whispers, reaching out and shaking her shoulder a little. She hums in her sleep, but makes no other move.

“Rookie, I gotta ask you something.” He wiggles her leg a little, shaking her feet in his lap, and whispers her name. He’s rewarded with her eyes fluttering open, her mouth drawn down in a pout at being woken up.

“Whatisit,” she sighs, still slumped into the cushions. He clears his throat. Here goes nothing.

“So, there’s a charity gala for the Stark Foundation coming up next weekend,” he starts bravely. “And - and the whole team is going anyway, so I know you’re gonna be there, but - well, maybe you would consider going...with me?” Courage runs out, and his brain backpedals. “I mean, just as a friend?”

She huffs. “I can’t believe you woke me up for that.”

“Oh.” He looks down, hair falling in his eyes. “So...you don’t want to go with me?”

“Of course I’ll go with you, Barnes,” she sighs. “Now shush. I was napping”

His face hurts from the stretch in his cheeks when he smiles. He’s gonna give Bruce those pain meds back.

#nachobuckychallenge #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader fic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #marvel #marvel fic

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bringingglory · 4 years ago

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catch up!

tagged by the mightiest of megs @megthemighty ily queen <3

Three Ships: royai (yeah its been 6 months since i watched fmab, no i am still not over them, no i will never be over them), zelink (all zelinks good but im thinking esp about botw zelink), iwaoi (watched haikyuu a few weeks ago and WOW iwaoi brainrot is real. its about the *pinching fingers emoji* childhood best friends, also i love it when one person is a clown (oikawa) and the other is level-headed (iwaizumi), it’s a great dynamic)

Last Song I Listened To: alsdjfhaskljdf magic by one direction, idk why but its been popping up a lot on tiktok lately and hearing it transported me back to middle school and nostalgia etc etc anyway magic is lowkey a BANGER

Currently Watching: the fate: winx saga on netflix akljdflakjsdf i watched winx club when i was a kid and i LOVED IT and then i saw that there was going to be an edgy gritty darker teen reboot of winx club and i was like “this is going to be a disaster, i have to watch it” so im currently hate watching it with my roommates and it is, in fact, a disaster. no teenager acts like whatever the fuck they’re doing in the show (”i saw you creeping on my insta last night” is a real quote from the show), and also kind of fucked up that they white-washed 2 characters and removed one, also added an unnecessary love triangle and girls hating each other for no reason but WHATEVER!!! at least its funny. also i started watching jujutsu kaisen a lil while ago and its so fun! v engaging and funny and also sad, pog/10 anime

Currently Reading: These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong! its like a romeo and juliet retelling set in 1920s shanghai and im loving it!!! 1. bc its set in china 2. its fucking??? childhood friends (ish) to lovers to exes and enemies (and then probably back to lovers!!!) 3. the cais and montagovs are rival gangs??? how cool is that??? also reading Women of the Fertile Crescent bc i started like 1289761283 different poetry anthologies last fall but have been going back and forth between them so im trying to focus on one poetry anthology before i go onto another one. and yeah, women of the fertile crescent fucks, the poems are so beautiful, pog/10 again

How’s it going? hahaha at the risk of oversharing on the internet (which no one has ever done on the internet before im sure, least of all me), the semester’s starting to creep up on me more and more and ive been getting more anxious, like im starting to fall back into the old habits last semester that made me a cold, nervous, constantly nauseous never-ending working machine, but at least i recognize them this time!!! so i can halt them before they sink their shitty little claws into my brain, and im trying to pick apart my mindset and stop the thought processes that tell me im always running out of time, and im also trying to remind myself that i objectively do have enough time for things and i will get things done even if im not thinking about them 24/7 akjdhfklajsdf i mean i also had a midterm last week which sucked ass and probably contributed to these feelings, but i dont have another midterm until the next 2 weeks! so im trying to relax for now and enjoy my time in the present :)

tagging @firewoodfigs @meridianheroine @notkorras @tophbeifong and anyone else who wants to join in! absolutely no pressure :)

#about me #tag game

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 5 years ago

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Kindred Spirit (Taehyung X You) (ONESHOT)

A/N: The full version of the Taehyung fanfic, but I changed it a little from the preview I posted. Hope its okay 😘 also, im not sure whats an "er of their marriage" means exactly? But i take it their life after marriage? Ill make an epilogue of that soon! 😘

"Ive been an idol for years Y/N and you have never once come to see me perform? Dont you know people would die for all the free passes and tickets I left for you?!" Her bestfriend grumbles, hands crossed over his chest, his pout over an inch long.

Y/N laughs.

"Thats why I said you should give it to someone else thats actually have time to go watch you,"

"But you are my best friend. BESTFRIEND Y/N. How is is possible you never once saw me perform? And you dont even know any of my bandmates? How is that possible??" Yoongi keeps on grumbling in disbelief.

"Well.. Min Yoongi. I can give you an answer. Because I'm busy with real life okay. You know my appa wants me to take over soon. You know I dont do it on purpose right?" Y/N pouts, hoping if shes cute enough, or looks guilty enough Yoongi would actually forgive her.

"Nope. Your puppy face wont cut it this time,"

Damn.

"You are coming. And if I dont see you cheering your ass off tomorrow night, front row, our friendship is over. Over I say!"

And thats is why Y/N is running and pushing through the excited crowd of boys and girls in the stadium, trying to find her section. She made it! She almost didnt, but almost didnt matter. Shes here now. All dressed in her work clothes, with what is supposed to be called an Army Bomb in her hand, something that her secretary shoved in her bag earlier, saying its a must have for an Army. She dont even know what an Army is!

As the show starts, Y/N jumps to the music, smiling proudly everytime Yoongi make an appearance. She has heard him rapped before, but she never seen him this charismatic. Its as if the man on stage is not even the dorky Yoongi she has known for years. And his band members... wow. All so talented, all so good looking.

As the concert ended, Y/N makes her way backstage, flashing the pass Yoongi gave her and make her way through series of dressing room, trying to find the one where the boys are in.

"Must be this one," she followed the door that has the most sound and lights to find the boys chatting, congratulating each other. "Uh, Yoongi?" Y/N calls out softly, feeling awkward. Is she even supposed to be here?

"Oh you are here. God, cant believe you actually made it!" Yoongi rushed over and gave her a tight hug. "Wait, I'll introduce you to the others, but I need to change my pants first. Wait here, dont move!" Before she could say anything, Yoongi has already ran off.

"Uh.. okay. Ill stay here I guess," she moved herself timidly to a corner and stands awkwardly, hoping no one would notice her. But wishes dont always come true.

"Hey, uh..." a guy, a very handsome guy, who Y/N recognizes as one of Yoongi's band members, but cant be sure who, approached her.

"Uh.. yes? A-am I not supposed to be here? Im sorry. Im just waiting for Y-"

"Oh, no. I just want to ask you. Wheres the bathroom?"

"Huh?" Y/N looks at the guy curiously. Is he for real? He had a three day back to back concert here and today is the third day. And he doesnt know where the bathroom is? And he is asking... her? Y/N laughs before answering. So weird.

"Uh.. I-"

Smack.

"You know very well where the bathroom is you idiot. What are you talking about?" Yoongi who just came back smacked the guy's head.

"Ouchhh, hyunggg," he pouted, rubbing his head.

"Serves you right. Thats the worse and most cringy pick up line ever!"

"Hyunggggg, shut upppp," the guy eyed Y/N shyly and glares at his hyung and turn his attention back on her. "S-sorry. I just wanted to talk to you but I dont want to scare you off," he grins sheepishly.

"Oh, its okay. Im not a stalker. I'm here because Yoongs invited me. I'm Y/N," she hands out her hand for a handshake. "And no, I dont know where the bathroom is," she giggles.

Yoongi rolls his eye and smacks his forehead at the lame attempt of flirting the younger man is doing.

"Hi Y/N. I'm Taehyung," he grips her hand and shakes it. "Kim Taehyung. And I'm the guy you will be having coffee with tonight," he grins.

/////

"Okay, so do you have a boyfriend?"

"No appa, I dont," Y/N sighs, frustrated.

"Then uh.... do you not like men? I mean, Im okay with that sweetheart, as long as you are happy..."

Y/N smile a little. Her appa is the most adorable man ever existed.

"Appa, no!" She giggles.

"Okay, okay. Im just asking. You know I will support you always princess," her appa smile and she can see a small sigh of relieve. "Then what is it sweetheart? Why are you so against this marriage with Hyun Dae?"

"Well, for one, I think arranged marriage is so old school appa," she pouts. "We are not living in the 60s or 20s or whatever year you and eomma are from,"

"How old do you think we are? The 20s?!" Her appa laughs. "Arranged marriage is not so bad you know,"

"Its not bad at all. I actually found the love of my life," her eomma gets up from the couch and link arms with her husband. "Although he is quite annoying at first," she laughs. Y/N's appa leans and kiss the top of her mothers head.

"Its the best decision ever," he smiles.

Y/N roll her eyes. It is well known between their family, friends and community that her parents are as in love as ever. They were from two wealthy family, arranged to be married, and lucky for them, they were each other soulmates.

"Appa, eomma, just because you two are lucky doesnt mean everyone is,"

"But sweetheart, Hyun Dae is everything a man can be. Hes very kind, smart, hes taking over his appa's business, he loves animals, arts, kids. Everything that you like. And plus, you two are quite close too. Why are you so against it?"

Y/N sighs.

"I dont know. Maybe a little part of me wants that traditional love story you know? To fall madly in love with someone and then get married?" She sighs and lays her head on her elbow. Her parents look at each other before her eomma approached her slowly, stroking her hair slowly.

"Sweetheart... are you in love with someone?"

"Well..." Y/N scratched her neck, avoiding their intrusive eyes. Her lips immediately curl into a small smile as an image immediately pops inside her head. Boxy smile, deep voice, always happy, positive outlook on everything. The one guy who made her deeply fall in love.

"Oh my dear, who is it? Why didnt you tell us?" Her eomma smile widely, clapping her hand in excitement.

"Well.. its uh.. because I dont know if he feels the same way..."

"Have you told him yet? Whoever this lucky person is?" Her appa take a step closer to her, smiling. His princess' happiness is everything to him.

"N-no. Not yet. I dont know. Should I?"

"You should sweetheart. Or how else would he know? And he most definitely feels the same way,"

"Do you think so appa?"

"I know so," he smiles. "Who in the world wouldnt fall in love with you sweetheart?"

Y/N smiles. Her parents are the best.

"Then I'll tell him. I'll tell him tomorrow,"

/////

"I like you Taehyung,"

A few moments past without either one saying anything. The air that pricks her skins feels colder. But nothing is colder that Taehyung's stare that is emotionless in front of her right now.

"Uh.. what? I heard you wrong I think," he laughs awkwardly.

"I... like you Taehyung,"

"Well, I like you too. Of course. You are one of my closest friends," Taehyung smiles. Y/N feels her heart suffocating but still puts on a brave face. Maybe he dont understand what she meant. Taehyung can be oblivious sometimes.

"I like you Taehyung," Y/N says it much clearer this time. "I.. love you. I love you Kim Taehyung. Like for real,"

"Listen..," he sighs after a few moment of silence. "I'm really flattered that you uh.. have feelings for me. And I know we have developed some degree of friendship, but... you thats what you are... just a friend," he looks at her with his deep gaze. "Yoongi's hyung friend to be exact,"

"Yoongi's friend?" Y/N looks at him, eyes filled with confusion. "After all this time. Is that all I am to you Tae? Your hyung's friend?"

"You know what I mean Y/N. You know how we met-"

"Yeah, I know how we met Tae.. but I though after all these time and moments we had..."

"That I would think of you as more? That I would fall in love with you?" Taehyung sighs. "I'm sorry if you felt like I lead you on. Thats just me. I'm just friendly. Im this way with everyone. But come on Y/N. Look at the facts. How can I be with you? I'm a worldstar, and you are well... you,"

Y/N felt like Taehyung just stabbed hee heart a million times. What does he mean that shes just.. her? Whats so wrong about being her?

"I enjoy our friendship, our interaction Y/N, but no more than that. And I am sorry to say that I am in a relationship. We havent gone public yet, but we are planning to, by this week,"

"I-in a relationship? With who Tae? A-and you didnt even bother to tell me? After all the time we spent together?" Y/N feels like screaming, but she knows she has no right to do so. All she can do is hold in her tears that can easily burst at any time.

"I think you know her," he smiles. Oblivious to the pain that Y/N is feeling. "Oraia. The new idol,"

"Oraia?" Oh Y/N knows the girl perfectly well. Pretty, fashionable, great at singing, dancing. Any guy would kill to have her. Including Taehyung it seems.

"I-I have to know Tae. W-why her? H-how?" Y/N managed to choked out her question.

"Oraia is the perfect girl for me," Taehyung smile at the thoughts of her, proving how in love he is, making Y/N's heart breaks even more. "An idol, beautiful, talented, shes basically the female version of me. So I'm sorry, but you..." Taehyung stops, trying to find the right word to describe what hes saying. "You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

"You are not a worldstar when I met you. You are not that like this when I met you," Y/N said softly, holding in tears. "We are not that much different from each other Tae,"

Taehyung gave a sad smile, no, a pity smile, before standing up, ready to leave.

"You can think whatever you want Y/N. But if you ever think we can be together..." he sighs and looks at her and gave her another pity smile. "If only things were different. In another world, maybe we would have been together.Goodbye Y/N,"

/////

Y/N closes her eyes, tears rolling down both her cheeks, already mixed together with the pouring rain as she walks home. Maybe the rain will wash away her feelings for Taehyung. Her stupid feelings for Taehyung. Different world? Taehyung's world is what she wanted to avoid her whole life. Glitz, glamour, fame, riches... Y/N cries out as loud as her heart wanted, thankful no one can hear her in the heavy rain. Shes just not enough for him. Thats the real reason. And she will never be for Kim Taehyung.

Days passed and Y/N has been locked up in her room ever since that disasterous day. Her parents have given up trying to find out what happen and finally left her alone.

And this week is finally the week Y/N dread the most. All the entertainment news, magazines, gossip websites are buzzing with the announcement that has just been made all week.

Y/N looks at the glossy pictures of the scattered tabloids in front of her again. The intimate pictures getting blurry as her eyes gets wetter. Taehyung's voice replayed in her brain like a broken record.

"An idol, beautiful, talented, shes basically the female version of me. So I'm sorry, but you..." Taehyung stops, trying to find the right word to describe what hes saying. "You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

With a deep breath, she crumples the pages that reflects the beautiful relationship that is Taehyung and Oraia, wipe her eyes and walked downstairs to where her parents are drinking tea, enjoying their evening in their luxurious lounge.

"Oh Y/N. You are finally out. How are you feeling honey? Want to join us sweetheart?" Her mother looked up from the magazine shes reading and smile, her father the same, offering her a seat besides them.

"N-no. Thanks though. And I feel better," she gave a small smile. "Eomma, appa, I have something to tell you guys," she said, heart beating fast.

"What is it honey?"

"Appa, eomma, I have thought it through. I agree to your proposal. I agree with the arranged marriage to Hyun Dae,"

Her parents looks at each other, surprised.

"Sweetheart, are you sure? You dont have to rush into this. You should take your time and think i-"

"No appa. I am sure this time," she gave a smile, hoping it would convince them. "I want to marry Hyun Dae. I think he and I will make a very happy marriage,"

"W-well.." her eomma looks unsure. "Okay.. then,"

"If you are sure sweetheart. Then we will start setting it up," her appa stood up and hugs her. "Just know that we both love you so much and want nothing but your happiness,"

Y/N nods slowly, tears brimming in her eyes, softly she whispers,

"Me too appa, me too..,"

/////

Tupp. Tupp.

Y/N looks over the sliding door that opens up to her huge balcony. What is that sound? Panicking, she grab the first thing she can reach, a hairbrush, and walk slowly to the glass sliding door.

Tupp. Tupp.

The sound continue. Taking a deep breath she bravely slides open the door.

"Ouchhh," she rubs her head. "What the hell?" She looks around to find what hit her. "A pebble?"

"Oh no, did I hit you?" A voice called out. Y/N looks over the balcony.

"Hyun Dae? What are you doing here? Its 2am!"

"I, uh.. I want to talk to you," he grins.

"Theres this thing call a telephone you know? Or a front door? Havent use one of those?" She glares and Hyun Dae laughs.

"Sorry. I just thought this Romeo and Juliet shit is romantic you know?" He laughs and Y/N rolls her eyes. "Can you come down? Lets take a walk in your garden,"

"Come down from here? Like Rapunzel?!"

Hyun Dae laughs. "Oh my god, how are you so adorable? Of course not! Use the front door silly,"

Y/N giggles. "Okay. Be right there,"

A few minutes later, they were strolling in Y/N's family flower garden, inhaling the fresh night air.

"So? What is it you want to talk about that cant wait until daylight?"

"Well," Hyun Dae stop walking and pull her hand, sitting her down on the stone bench. "I just want to do it properly and formally," he smiles and kneels down in front of her, holding her hand.

Y/N looks at him, both nervous and confused.

"Y/N, you dont know how truly happy, grateful, excited, speechless, ecstatic I am that you agreed to marry me. I have been in love with you since forever," he smiles and blush slightly. "And I know this is just an arranged marriage to you, and you dont love me. But right here, right now, I promise you, that I will make you the happiest girl alive, that I will love you despite everything and anything, and everything you wish for princess, is my command,"

Y/N feels her heart beats faster.

"L/N Y/N, will you marry me and make me the luckiest man ever lived?"

Without a doubt, without a single second of hesitation, she nodded.

"Yes, yes, definitely yes,"

/////

"You look distracted. Whats wrong?" Yoongi glance at Taehyung whos just staring blankly at his mirror as they are changing and cleaning up their makeup.

"Uh... nothing hyung," Taehyung quickly pretends to clean up his things.

"Its not nothing. You have been distracted for a few weeks now. I didnt want to say anything because I thought you would snap out of it but its just getting worse,"

"Its really nothing hyung!" Taehyung snaps and plop down on his chair, sighing. Yoongi shrugs and decide to give him some space. "Err.. hyung?"

"Yeah?"

"Why..uh... why doesnt Y/N come over to our shows anymore?" Taehyung finally open up his mouth to ask. Since that first time they met, she has always been around, cheering for them, right at the front row. But after her confession, he didnt see her anymore. Yeah, he felt bad about what he said and he tried calling, texting, video calling.. but nothing. Shes totally ignoring him. He wanted to meet her at her house, or her work place, until he realized he didnt know where to go. In fact, he didnt know anything about her. All the time they hung out, he only always talk about him. His life, his problems. Him. As if its that interesting. He sighs again.

Yoongi side eyed him.

"Is that what disturbing you? Y/N?"

"N-no. Im just curious,"

"Oh, okay then. Then the answer is, I dont want to tell you," Yoongi picks up his stuff and walk off.

Of course. Of course his hyung knows. Yoongi and Y/N are best friends afterall. Taehyung sighs. Well, maybe he deserves this. But still... he doesnt want to admit it to anybody, even himself, but deep down, he miss her. Really miss her.

/////

"Okay guys, lets go. We need to get ready," Namjoom clap his hands as a way to make his members make their way to the dressing room. Its awards season finally, and they need to get ready for their stage. Taehyung makes his way with his hyung to the back of the stage, wishing for all this to be over soon. He really wants to just rest his head.

As he was putting on the final touches he turns to the door and saw Y/N standing there, all dressed in a beautiful gown, fit for an award show. His first thought is, wow, and the second is that his eyes are playing tricks on him. But as Y/N makes her way inside and hugs Yoongi, he knows this is reality. Taehyung smiles. He cant help it. Did Yoongi told her about what he said a few days back and now shes here to see him?

Taehyung walks over the moment he gets the chance to get her alone.

"Hey," Taehyung smiles.

"Um.. hey," Y/N smiles awkwardly.

"So, why are you here? You miss me or something? Or are you stalking me?" He laughs.

"No, I'm actually h-"

"Hey baby, there you are. The crew said you went in first," A handsome guy, and obviously a chaebol makes his way to them, giving Y/N a kiss on the cheek and hugging her waist.

"Hi babe," she smiles. "Yeah, I went in to see Yoongi. Its time you meet my mysterious bestie,"

Taehyung was silenced, eyeing the man up and down. Baby? Cheek kissing? Waist hugging? Who is this guy?

"Oh is this Yoongi?" He smiles and held out a hand. Taehyung took it reluctantly.

"Oh no no. This is Kim Taehyung. Hes uh... Yoongi's band member,"

Yoongi's band member? Thats all he is??

"Oh okay. Hi, I'm Hyun Dae," he smiles and shakes Taehyung's hand before hugging Y/N's waist again. Taehyung felt like pulling off his arm, and he dont know why he felt that way.

"Lets go meet Yoongi," Y/N smiles and bows to him and move over to Yoongi, leaving Taehyung still staring at them. Once Yoongi and Hyun Dae are caught up in a conversation, Taehyung immediatly grab Y/N by the elbow and drag her to the side.

"Ouchh. What the hell Tae?!"

"Are you seriously this petty?" Taehyung scoffs.

"Petty?? What are you even talking about?"

"Fine, I rejected you. So now you are bringing this... this... stuck up someone here for what? To show me that you have moved on? To make me jealous?" Taehyung scoffs again. "As if,"

"What?!" Y/N looks at him in disbelief. "God Taehyung, you are so full of yourself! Hes not stuck up! And I'm not here for you!"

"Yeah right," Taehyung smile sarcastically. "So, hyung told you I asked and the next show you brought a man over? Please Y/N, have some pride,"

"What are you even talking about? Yoongs never talked about you. At all! Im here becaus-"

"Oh Taehyung, you have already met," his manager interrupted the conversation and bows to Y/N as Hyun Dae join her side. "Okay guys, gather round. I think all of you must already know about The Empire. As you know, their company owns and organized all show events in Korea and is one of the biggest in the music industry, among others. The president cant make it, so his daughter is here instead. And she and her fiancee just wants to meet all the artists her tonight to express their gratitude,"

Y/N and Hyun Dae bows and smiles to everyone as Taehyung stands frozen in place, the only thing he can hear is 'fiance'. Y/N is... engaged?

And... shes an heir?

"You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

Yeah, they are worlds apart. He was right. But the truth is, Taehyung is the one whos way beneath her.

/////

"Lets go, lets go peopleeee," Namjoon clapped his hands a sign for them to get moving. Taehyung and the rest of the members climbed up their black van, still yawning from having to wake up early in the morning. They are off to another country for a month for their variety show shoot. A special content, the management said. Something to do with their new sponsors. Taehyung never really pay attention to all the boring details, all he knows is, he will do what he is asked to do, no question asked.

But as they land and making their way out from their private plane, Taehyung, still half asleep, need to take a double take when he saw Y/N and her fiance at the arrivals, standing atound with the crew, their luggage all around them.

"H-hyung?" He nervously tapped Yoongi's shoulder.

"What?" Yoongi grumbled, still cranky from being awaken from his beauty sleep on the plane.

"Are my eyes playing tricks on me or is that uh... Y/N?" Taehyung really wished he has gone crazy. Thats he is seeing things. That Yoongi will look at him funny and tell him theres no Y/N. And Yoongi did look at him funny, but his answer is totally not what hes expecting.

"Dont you know? Her father's company is our new sponsor for the show and they are here to monitor the shoot,"

Taehyung stopped in his tracks. He dont know why the news startled him. It shouldnt be affecting him at all. Right? Even he dont understand what he is feeling as he looked over to Y/N and Hyun Dae smiling at each other. Anger? Sadness? Happy? He cant be sure. But one thing he knows for sure, its going to be one hell of a month.

/////

"So... you arent going to tell me that you are engaged?" Taehyung jogged lightly, to catch up with Y/N whom he saw is taking a morning walk from his hotel roon window. They have free schedule for the first day and what luck, the first thing he saw this morning is Y/N, alone. Without that stupid chaebol.

"Oh, uh hi Taehyung," Y/N, startled at his presence, give a small smile and a polite bow.

"Hi Y/N," he smile. Honestly, he missed her. Well, they were pretty close before. As friends. Yes, of course as friends and nothing more! Taehyung reminded himself. "But seriously, you are never going to tell me you are engaged?"

"Do I have to?" Y/N raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I'm not even sure if I'm your friend or yoongis friend or whatever, you know? And I dont think you be interested to know anyway," she picked up her pace but Taehyung managed to catch up.

"What do you mean?! Of course I wanna know! And of course we are friends! And you didnt think to tell me that you father own half of Korea's music industry?" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, you never ask. And I'm not one to go around telling people my family history Tae," she shrugged. "Afterall, why would a worldstar want to know about someone who is from a different world than him, right?"

Okay, he deserved that.

"Okay, Y/N, look," he pull her hand, stopping her from walking. "I am sorry about what I said that day. I dont know what I was thinking. I was startled by your confession. To be honest, the months I spent without seeing you at all, well... I missed you. I miss you, okay?"

Y/N sighed. Why is he doing this to her? Her heart is still recovering. Still trying to erased every love she felt for him.

"We are going to spend a whole month working together. Stuck in a small island. Why dont we be friends again? Hmm?" He made his famous puppy eyes, blinking his eyes rapidly, lips pouting. "Pleaaaase? Taetae is sorrryy,"

Y/N tried to keep a sttaight face but burst out laughing. She can never say no to that face.

"Fine Tae. You know I cant resist that stupid face," she laughs.

"So, friends?" Taehyung held out a hand and Y/N shakes it.

"Of course, friends,"

As he shakes her hand, smiling ear to ear, Taehyung realized, he had never felt this happy, and it scared him.

/////

They might have rekindled their friendship, but Taehyung couldnt get even 10 minutes alone with her without being disturbed by Yoongi or Hyun Dae, and its pissing him off. Worse, he have to watch all the romantic moments between the two love birds, and trust him, Hyun Dae is really not afraid to show his affection, its making him wants to throw up.

Suprising Y/N with flowers on set, setting up a special candle light dinner when the whole crew is eating, suddenly gets on stage in the middle of dinner and sing her a song. And that motherfucker can even play a guitar and he look damn good playing it too. Taehyung swore all the girls there are swooning over him. But what he hates most is all the admiring whispers.

"Y/N is so lucky"

"Hyun Dae is the perfect guy"

"I wish I was Y/N"

Urghhh. Annoying.

It also doesnt help that his relationship with Oraia has gone stale. Yeah, they text everyday, call each other every night. But nothing she says interest him. Taehyung mostly tune out whatever shes saying during their phone calls, eyes focusing on what Y/N is doing. The way she laughs when she talks to someone, her clusmy ways of doing things, her passion while working. All that is more interesting to him than his own girlfriend. His supppsedly perfect, beautiful, girlfriend.

It must be the island. He hasnt seen Oraia for almost a month now, and hes stuck here for all that time. Of course it will put a strain on his relationship. Yes, that must be it.

But as his heart bubbles with jealousy as he watches Y/N and Hyun Dae running around the beach, Hyun Dae catching Y/N by the waist and lift her up to kiss her, Taehyung knows for sure, that it is definitely not it.

/////

Taehyung tossed and turned for hours and after eventually still failing to fall asleep, he decide to take a walk by the beach. The moon is out and the breeze is welcoming. Its a good night to walk and collect his thoughts.

As he walked slowly along the beach, the cool air blowing his hair, he saw a figure sitting alone by the beach, eyes closed, enjoying the midnight breeze. Taehyung immediately smile.

Y/N.

"Hey," he approached her slowly and smile.

"Oh, Tae. Hi," she smiled back. "What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I cant sleep. What about you? Isnt it dangerous for a pretty girl to be alone so late at night?" He smile.

Y/N laughs.

"Its a private island Tae. I think its kinda safe. And you know I usually cant sleep and the sound of the ocean calms me down,"

Taehyung does know that. Back to the days when they use to spend so much time together, they always sit by the beach and talked. Well, usually, he will be the one who do the talking, because all he cares about is himself. And his problems. And Y/N always listen. To all his weird ramblings, his peculiar thoughts that people usually laugh at. Even Oraia sometimes makes fun of him. But Y/N listen to them all. Understand him even. Why didnt he realized that before?

"Well... can I join you?"

"Of course. Have a seat," she patted down the spot besides her and Taehyung makes himself comfortable. They talked and talked, laughter filled up the night air and Taehyung cant seem to care about anything else other than that moment.

"Oh god, my tummy is hurting from laughing so much," Y/N said, still giggling from what Taehyung said. "I forgot how funny and weird you are Taetaeee,"

Taehyung smile and looked at her, staring deeply at her laughing face.

"Its nice,"

"What is?" Y/N who has stopped laughing, asked him, confused.

"Hearing you call me Taetae again," he smile, making Y/N blushed.

"W-well, that is your name,"

"Yeah, yeah. It is," Taehyung smile, still staring at her. "Y/N? Are you happy?"

"Right now? Yeah I am. We have been laughing for hours Tae. Of course Im happy. Whats wrong with you?" Y/N giggles, trying to toned down the awkwardness shes starting to feel.

"No. I mean, are you happy? Like really happy? With Hyun Dae? Does he makes you happy?"

"H-hyun Dae?" Y/N was taken aback from the sudden question. "Uhh, of course I am, hes my fiance, of course he makes me happy Tae,"

"Really? Then why did you stutter?" Taehyung still looks at her, straight into her eyes with his sharp gaze.

"I- I did not stutter! Whats wrong with you Tae? You are being weird. But not normal weird," Y/N starts to dust off the sand off her, preparing to get up. "Its getting late. We should go in,"

Taehyung grab her hands, standing up with her.

"Do you love him? Do you love Hyun Dae?"

"Why are you asking me that Tae? You are being weird!" Y/N tries to shake off his grip but he held on tighter.

"Answer the question Y/N. Do you love him?"

"Hyun Dae is amazing! He cares for me. He loves me. He knows what I like, sweet, romantic, p-"

"But do you love him?"

"I-I," Y/N stuttered. "I dont need to answer that!" Y/N tries to pull her hand again but to no avail.

"You cant answer it because you dont love him. And you cant lie to me," Taehyung smile.

"You are crazy. Let my hand go Tae," Y/N insisted. "It has nothing to do with you!"

"But it does Y/N. It does, because you dont love him. Because you love me," Taehyung state matter of factly. "You always did and you always will Y/N,"

Y/N was speechless, shocked, surprised, that Taehyung would bring it up again. Tears starts to sting her eyes. She has never felt more hummiliated. Is Taehyung making fun of her? Of her feelings? She thought they were friends again. Why is he doing this to her?

"Just let me go!"

"I cant, and I wont,"

"Why?!" Y/N is crying now. She dont understand why Taehyung is being this way. "To hummiliate me even more? To make fun of my feelings for you?"

"What? No!" Taehyung cant believe Y/N would think of him to be that cruel. But maybe he deserved it. "Because I love you Y/N!" Taehyung pull her hands, making her fall into his arms and he immediately cup her face and captured her lips with hers. The kiss has never felt more electricfying. Taehyung felt goosebump all over his body, he hears fireworks went off everywhere. And right at that moment, he knows that hes in love.

But the moment only last for a split second when Y/N, tears already spilled down her cheeks pushed him away hard and slapped him across the face.

"Get away from me Kim Taehyung!"

Was the last word she screamed out before she ran away into the darkness.

/////

Taehyung almost went crazy trying to finish the rest of the shooting. After that fateful night, Y/N took the earliest flight home the next morning, leaving Taehyung with no way to contact her at all. No reply to his texts or his calls and he cant even get away from his stupid schedule to find her at home. He was lost.

Its the very first time in his life that he has seen things so clearly. He is in love with Y/N. And she left him being so lost.

It also doesnt help that after Taehyung told Oraia that he wants to break up, his crazy ex girlfriend bombared his calls, his texts, his friends, even his manager with texts begging to take her back. She even went so far as to include the media, giving sad interviews, crying her eyes out. Taehyung wondered how he didnt notice how crazy Oraia is. Maybe its true what they said, love is blind. But what they had isnt love. It never was. They both know they got together just because they seemed to look perfect for each other. Thats not love, and Oraia is just mad that shes no longer one half of the industry perfect couple.

/////

"Hey Tae?" Yoongi knocks on his hotel room, peeking his head. Theres still a week left of shooting, but Taehyung's heart is no where in it. All he wanted to do is to go back home, find Y/N and begged for her forgiveness until she takes her back. Hes going to convince her that he loves her. He really do. And not because he pity her, or because hes jealous of her relationship with Hyun Dae, but because he just realized it now. That from that moment he asked her where the bathroom is, hes already in love. Y/N has already caught his eyes, and heart from that first night at the concert, but he is too busy chasing his fame and title to realized it.

And now it might be too late.

Taehyung might have already lost the love of his life, forever.

"Yeah hyung?" Yoongi make his way in and sit on Taehyung's bed.

"Did something happen between you and Y/N? Did she going back home early has anything to do with you?"

Taehyung looked at his hyung with tired eyes. No longer bother to pretend or curious why his hyung us asking.

I told her I love her...." Taehyung said, tears stinging his eyes at the memory. "And she thinks I'm just playing her,"

Yoongi sighed.

"Are you?"

Taehyung sits up and hugs a pillow, looking at Yoongi with teary eyes.

"No hyung. Of course not. I really do love her. I love her so much. Im just too stupid to realized it then," he sniffles. "And now, I have to wait until this stupid shoot is over to win her back hyung, because shes not answering my calls or my texts. And I swear hyung, I will do everything to win her back from that Hyun Dae,"

Yoongi sighs again, looking away before looking back at the younger man.

"Tae... Y/N is getting married today. She suddenly said she wants to get married as soon as possible, doesnt matter if its a small wedding. She just wants to get married. Today,"

Taehyung looked at his hyung, eyes widen, not believing what hes hearing.

"I-I have to go hyung," he suddenly gets up.

"Go where Tae? What are you doing?"

Taehyung grabs his bag, not thinking anymore.

"To stop the wedding hyung, to win back the love of my life,"

/////

Y/N looks at her reflection in the mirror. Even with last minute preparations, her mother managed to do everything perfectly. Her dress, her makeup, her hair, her flowers, even her dressing room is perfect. Y/N smile to her reflection. But she knows its only superficial. Its a smile she puts on to convince everyone, to convince herself, that shes making the right decision. The right choice.

That shes happy.

And she know Hyun Dae will make her happy.

He have to.

"Dont marry him,"

Y/N turns around to find Kim Taehyung by the door. His hair a mess, shirt crumpled, eyes bloodshot from crying.

"T-Tae..."

"Dont marry him Y/N," he move closer to her. "Dont do it. Please. Please Y/N,"

"Taehyung, what are you doing here?" Y/N feel tears prickling her eyes. Why is he here. Why now? Why today?

"To tell you I love you Y/N," Taehyung sniffles and take her hand. "T-to tell you to not marry him. Dont marry him Y/N,"

"I-I cant Tae," Y/N shakes her head. "Hyun Dae deserves all the happiness in the world. He treats me so good Tae,"

"Then what about you? You deserve happiness too. Happiness with me Y/N,"

Y/N close her eyes and shakes her head. Why is Taehyung telling her all the things shes dying to hear before? But its all too late now. Too late.

"Marry me Y/N. Marry me. And I'll make you the happiest woman in the world. Marry me," Taehyung sobs and kneel down on his knees, begging, hand still holding hers.

Y/N starts to shake, trying to hold in her tears but it rolled out anyway, flooding her face.

"D-dont do this to me Tae. You dont love me. You dont. You dont!"

"I love you Y/N. I love you I love you I love you! I know I realized it too late. And thats my mistake. But I swear to you, that I'll spend forever making it up to you," Taehyung begs desperately. He cant lose her. He cant! "Please. Please, dont marry him Y/N. Please..."

Y/N closes her eyes. Tears rolling down her face, no intention of stopping. She wanted to say yes. God, how she wanted to say yes. How easy it would be. To be with the man he love. The man he had dreamed of. But she cant. Its not fair to Hyun Dae. And its not fair to her. To her heart that Taehyung has broken to pieces.

"Im sorry Taehyung... I cant," Y/N let go of his hand, tears dropping on the floor, wetting her beautiful white dress.

Taehyung felt like his whole world shattered to pieces. Thats it. Just two words. "I cant" and he lost her. He lost the love of his life.

After felt like an eternity, he stood up, face still wet with tears but a smile on his face.

"You look beautiful Y/N," he smile. "You always do.

Y/N sobs hard, her whole body shakes.

"Be happy Y/N. Hes an idiot if he dont take care of you. If he hurt you like I do. Hes an absolute idiot," Taehyung smile and carressed her face softly. "Be happy my princess. And when the time comes, come back to me. I'll always be waiting Y/N, because you are my true love, and we will always find our way back to each other,"

Taehyung placed a long, deep kiss on her forehead, eyes closed as tears flows down, knowing he has lost the love of his life, trying to savor the feel of her in his memories.

"I love you Y/N. And I'll wait for you, forever," he smile one last time as he turns around and walk away, leaving Y/N drenched in her tears.

/////

5 YEARS LATER

"Woohoooo, last concert for this tour guys, good job!" The members high five each other as they make their way into the dressing room backstage. Taehyung laughs and make his way into his own personal room, exhausted from a show well done.

"Hi, do you know where the bathroom is?"

Taehyung stopped in his track at the sound of the voice. A voice so familiar. A voice that haunts his dream for years. A voice that he never forgets.

He looks up, and there she is. Smiling at him.

"Y-Y/N?"

Y/N nods, giggling.

"Y/N?!" Taehyung runs to her and engulf her in a hug. "I am not dreaming am I? A-are you really here?"

Y/N giggles again.

"Its me Tae. Real life me. Im real,"

"W-why? H-how?"

"Well, if Im not mistaken, 5 years ago, someone told me that we will always find our way back to each other. And that he will wait for me, forever. Im just checking if he still keeps his promise," Y/N grins.

Taehyung hugs her tight.

"You dont know how I dream of this day every single day Y/N. How I waited to see you again. To feel you again. To hear your voice again," Taehyung hugs her, not letting go.

"Ive come back Taehyung. Ive come back to you,"

Taehyung cant believe this is happening. Then he remembered something. And although its something hes dreading to ask, he knows he has to know.

"H-Hyun Dae?"

Y/N smile at his nervous state. She has never seen someone so adorable. God, shes just so in love with him.

"We were never married Tae. When you came that day... everything changed. I didnt marry him. I couldnt. Not when I know my heart belongs to you. And Hyun Dae... he knows it too. And he loves me enough to let me find my own happiness,"

"W-what?"

"Im sorry it took so long. But I need to find myself. To really understand my feelings, your feelings... but Im here now, Taehyung... if you still want me..."

Taehyung grins.

"Is that even a question my love?"

Y/N giggles at the way he calls her.

"I love you Y/N. Since that first night we met. I have been yours. Im sorry for hurting you. Im sorry for my mistakes. Im sorry fo-"

"Shhhh," she puts a finger on his lips. "It doesnt matter anymore Tae. All of it doesnt matter anymore," she smile. "Im here now. You are here now. And I, I love you Kim Taehyung,"

Taehyung grins. Such word has never felt so sweet. He felt happiness bubbling inside his chest. And in the first time in 5 years, he really mean it.

"I love you Y/N, my love, my soulmate,"

"I love you Taehyung. You really had me at bathroom," she giggles.

"Oh shut up," Taehyung laughs and lifts her up, wrapping her legs around him. "Just shut up and kiss me. Just kiss me baby,"

And she really did.

#bts #bangtan boys #bangtan seonyeondan #bts fiction #bts fanfic #kim taehyung #bts v #taehyung scenario #taehyung angst #taehyung fiction #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop scenario #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst

92 notes · View notes

thomothysdoodles · 4 years ago

Note

1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 17, 18, 20, 23, 26, 17, 28, 31, 32, 35, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67,, 68, 69, 70, 71, 73, 74, 75, 85, 86, 87, 88, 90, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 98

I am so sorry, I literally have no idea what came over me

Wow Lulu you really said ‘let’s ask this bitch EVERYTHING’. I love it tho lmao. Since it’s long imma put it under the cut tho

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“A pleasure to have in class, a bit lost in their mind, if they committed and focused more they’d excell but they settle for good grades”

From elementary to high school lol

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I like soda cans

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Somewhere between tomboy and grunge I think

8. Movies or tv shows?

Tv shows

9. Favorite smell in the summer?

Sunscreen and freshly baked bread

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day?

A cup of milk with some cereal or biscuits. For the past month I’ve been following the keto diet tho, and I usually are some ricotta with peanut butter for breakfast

12. Name of your favorite playlist?

“Sad but vibing” lol

14. Favorite non chocolate candy?

Strawberry lollipops

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black vans pair, I bought em in August but the left one already got a hole on the front 😤

18. Ideal weather?

Cloudy but not too windy or cold. I just don’t like the sunlight in my face

20. Preferred place to write?

On my phone’s notes app lol, I’ve got almost two thousand notes in here

23. Strange habits?

I hide stuff in my room with no apparent reason. I’ve got money stashed around my room in four different points lol

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Given the chance, I like to race with my bike to get some refreshing wind

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Cozy up in a blanket and watch some tv

28. Five songs to describe you.

Karma— AJR

Ultimately— Khai Dreams

Putting a spin on Slow Dancing in the Dark— egg

Mars— YungBlud

Gotta be a Reason— Alec Benjamin

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Black jeans, black sturdy boots, and a silly little hoodie lmao

32. Top five favorite vines?

‘DONT FUCK WITH ME, IVE GOT THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE— AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’

‘Let me see what you have!’ ‘A KNIFE!’ ‘NO!!!’

‘Hey bro, what do you wanna eat?’ (‘The souuuls of my enemies’) ‘A bagel’ (‘NOOO’) ‘..two bagels.’

FR E SH A VOCA DO

‘Two shots of vodka..’ *pours half a bottle of vodka*

35. Average time you fall asleep?

I am terrible at this. I love sleeping but I also love feeling ✨ unbothered ✨ doing whatever I want in the middle of the night. So, never before 3am usually

37. Suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea?

Tea

40. Weirdest thing to happen at your school?

I dunno how weird it is, but I always found peculiar that there were cigarette butts on the ceiling of the bathrooms. Like, seven feet tall ceilings. How did those cigs get there??

41. Last person you texted?

My best friend to tell her that my sister found a way to let me watch supernatural on American Netflix >:3c

42. Jacket pockets or pant pockets?

Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie and/or jean jacket

44. Favorite scent for soap?

I dunno. Talcum powder I think

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Superhero

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Tee and boxers. Sometimes socks too

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Umh. Clementines maybe. Easy to peel, sweet but also not, sometimes with seeds.. and some people loathe the little white stripes they have and they spend hours peeling those away

49. What saying or quote do you live by?

“Like any / unloved thing, I don’t know if I’m real /when I’m not being touched.” —Natalie Wee

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

My best friends always make me wheeze, it can be the stupidest dumbest thing ever, I’m really fucking easy to amuse lol

51. current stresses?

My driver license my driver license my driver license my driver license my driver license my d

52. Favorite font?

I have no idea. This one? Lol

53. What is the current state of your hands?

Good. I just cut my nails, I really wanna put some nail polish but my dad comes back home tomorrow and he always looks me weird when I put it

55. Favorite fairy tail?

The little mermaid

56. Favorite tradition?

A tradition I have with my friends is that when we celebrate someone’s birthday, we go to the thrift shop and buy them stupid stuff to wear or put on. On my birthday a couple days ago I had to wear playboy bunny ears and a black glittery bow tie lol. Once I bought my best friend a tiny pirate hat, and for another my friend took a boa with pink feathers lol

57. The 3 biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Mmmh

I’m having a hard time with my parents since I dropped out of uni but I think I’m starting to overcome it finally

When my parents were about to divorce and in was dreading the idea of moving from this city

That time in middle school I spent a couple weeks at the hospital to run a bunch of neurological tests

58. Four talents you’re proud having?

I’m pretty good at multitasking

It’s very difficult to enrage me (yes I consider it a talent)

I can juggle lol

I can read in moving cars/trains etc without getting sick :D

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“What the f—“

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/ etc?

“Happiness isn't in the having. It's just in the being. It's in just saying it.” Aka Castiel’s love confession (OF COURSE I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING DESTIEL RELATED)

62. Seven characters you relate to?

No specific order:

Dean Winchester

Eric Derekson

Jake Peralta

Doug Eiffel (👀)

Tony Stark

Klaus Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves

63. Five songs that would play in your club?

Anything from P!ATD

Bang!— AJR

Natural— Imagine Dragons

Anything from Set It Off

Maniac— Conan Gray

64. Favorite website from your childhood?

I didn’t use computers in my childhood lol

66. Favorite flower(s)?

Fresias 💕

67. Good luck charms?

I used to keep in my pocket a little hazelnut my dad gave me once telling me that it was a good luck charm. I took it away tho. I dunno, maybe my rings

68. Worst flavor of any food of drink you’ve ever tried?

I have to admit I never tasted it, but the smell of truffle literally makes me gag, so that

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Apparently your love language is both the one you give AND want love, and also the one you most lacked growing up. So. Mull that over.

70. Left or right handed?

Rightie

71. Least favorite pattern?

Holey ones. Make my sight go double

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an Advil of ibuprofen?

A seven I guess. I usually try to sleep off anything I have, I hate to take medicines, and loathe to call the doctor lol

75. When did you lose your first tooth?

Around.. six I think?

85. Fairy tails or mythology?

Mythology forever

86. Cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies 🍪

87. Your greatest fear?

That the other shoe will drop and I’ll be alone and lonely

88. Your greatest wish?

To have enough stubbornness to do what I wish to do without getting demoralized so easily

90. Luckiest mistake?

Me and one of my best friends got to know each other through other common friends, and once they both couldn’t come and we ended up spending the day together. We had lots of fun, but we also got drunk and I lost my mcfreaking watch lmao

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Lamps

94. Favorite season?

Winter ❄️

95. Favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr! (And the music one. And the podcasts one. And— jk lol)

#ask thomothy personal stuff!#lulu chaos incarnation #not a doodle #I had to think long and hard for some of these questions

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huntsman-ash · 4 years ago

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LiveThoughts: RWBY V8E6

Second attempt at this since last time Chrome just DIED for no reason...

Im going to put literally the entire thing with Cinder under one note; Called it.

Its a great set of stuff, sure, but it doesnt relaly tell us anything we didnt already know about Cinder, and I personally feel it doesnt really explain why she turned out the way she did. I feel like we’ve had another weird twist of the situation again...M+K? Coronas fault? Who knows. Either way, this section isnt great by my taste and I kinda skipped most of it.

Few things to note though; Apperently in Mistral scrubbing by hand is still more viable floor cleaning tech than using Dust.

The wind vane on the roof has the Rooster Teeth symbols rooster on it.

The hotel Cinder is bought by is named the Glass Unicorn, fittingly enough for...several reasons.

The coffees behind the stepsisters when we first see them are the animated versions of the real life stuff RT put out just before this season went live.

No one seems to notice the fact cinder has orange eyes. I wonder if weird eye colors are just a THING in Remnant?

The control collar/shock thing is incredibly inefficient in design, since it doesnt actually hold on to her very well. A more effective brace/choker design would have worked better.

The song that goes on during all of this is...kind of obvious and a little bland? Fitting for younger Cinder I guess.

Mmm. Random greasy huntsman.

I guess in Atlas its fine to laugh at struggling teenagers?

Im going to assume there’s a 3+ year gap here where she gets older, cause she stops being smol and gets closer to how we see her now.

Also even here, in Atlas...really? The most effective way to clean these carpeted floors is to have a TEENAGER SCRUB THEM BY HAND?

How do you scrub...I assume its carpet anyway?

And how you tell civilians are lame in Atlas; they are impressed...by a sword. Just a sword. A boring, half-cut sword. Losers.

I assume this would be Cinder’s semblance manifesting. Also note on the desk; “we do not serve faunus”. Well THAT doesnt surprise me.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Get fucked Cinder. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

I dont even feel pity for her, this is funny to me. Also the fact that this kind of shit aCTUALLY EXISTS is...amusing to me. Like, really? So I guess indentured servitude is a thing in Remnant too.

And this is why Cinder likes to use swords. Really. Wow. LAMEO.

Huh. Dual maces. Interesting. Thats a prety cool weapon. Looks like they open up too. Bet he could bash some skulls with that.

“Hurting them isnt going to make your life any better”. Um, excuse me? I think hurting them is the very best thing to do in this situation. At least, for the moment anyway.

Huh. So she’s ten at this point? Even as a child, shes older than she looks.

And training montage. Huh. Or at least I assume it is. I get the feeling being able to go where you want too and do what you want too is the main reason Hunters exist. There must be crazy tight immigration laws...or, maybe, its just that traveling between kingdoms is stupid dangerous cause of Grimm. I think the latter is most likely considering every form of public transit extra-kingdom we’ve seen (even between cities, see Argus Limited) has some kind of defensive weaponry. Limited and ineffective, for th emost part oddly.

So you can take the exam at 18. Okay cool. Pre-that must be prep school. Wonder what happens if you wash out? Also I like how this dude is just “yeah, 7 years of training, we got this.”

I think this is the first time we’ve seen the other side of the moon. Or at least, the proper other side...bloody hell I STILL dont know how all those piesces are still held in place, the thing looks like it should start yeeting bolides at Remnant.

Better still we see it MOVE, rotate in time to the passing of years. So it literally does rotate on its own axis, and more importantly, unlike OUR moon, its NOT tidally locked. We only ever see the same side of our moon. REmnants rotates MUCH faster. Also it doesnt seem to have phases like ours does. I’ll check on why that is.

Well at least we have an explanation for why Cinders so damn good at fighting people. Trained by an Atlas Huntsman.

Also as a note the device is quite literally just an electrical Dust crystal attached to a necklace. Things the most inefficent torture device Ive ever fucking seen.

Wonder how often they have to change the crystal.

And there goes the moon rotating again.

I like how NO ONE comment on the blade going missing and that guy never came back for it. I guess he must have just bought a new one.

I get the very distinct feeling they wont just let her go honestly, permission or not.

AWWW WE DONT EVEN GET TO SEE CINDER MURDER THE SISTERS. Also no blood. Odd. Good kill on the stepmother though. Oh, that NECK CRACK. I like how all the bitch can do is try and shock Cinder, like, uh...adrenaline up? SHE HAS A SWORD? MAYBE FIGHT BACK?

Hah. Weak ass fuckin Atlas people. Also the clock going off in the back ground twelve times. How fitting. Welcome to midnight.

Also shes kind of glowing here cause the room is dark, and I find it amusing this is probably the last time she wears white.

And THERES the Cinder we know

Sick ass music, cool. Also THAT is an interesting semblance...I guess he turns himself to metal? Also DAMN his aura broke after THAT? Hes a Huntsman...ah who cares. Again probably in Cinders memory more than anything. Which at this point is probably about as reliable as a coked up hookers.

SHANKED. Sucker. You shoulda seen THAT one coming.

And thats all it took to get the shock collar off. Lol.

So what happened to the hotel? Did they just...write it off? I mean four people got murdered in there...

And now we’re back on the whale. HOW THE SCREAMING FUCK DID CINDER JUST...

Wow. She just got up after eating that blast. Fucking plot armor.

Merc making the hard calls honestly. Im actually gonna watch all of this now which is nice because I want to know whats happening in the real world. PITY MORE THAN HALF THE EPISODE WAS THIS FUCKING FILLER.

I like how Cinder just...goes quiet the moment she realizes shes lost Mercury. Not that he was USEFUL mind you but if I had to guess she liked being the boss. But now shes...basically back where she started.

So the whale is basically a ship. It has a bridge. Probably Salems throne room.

Man, Oscars literally just RTs punching bag this season isnt he? Literally in this case.

His clothes are still scortched too which I find interesting. The black eyes also staying. Auras not back up then? Aura repair and regen seems...werid half the time. Like RT does what they want with it.

Ah so someone finally says it...but at the same time what exactly does Salem have to fear? If she cant fight the whole world...what could they do? Maybe overwhelming her? It...Im having a hard time putting the “she cant be stopped” with “shes afraid of fighting all of Remnant”.

Somethings missing here. I know it.

The sound of the “door” opening reminds me of the Flood doors in High Charity in Halo 3s Cortana. Fleshy twisting.

Mention from Hazel, but AGAIN...no details. I guess if you nail down how she can do stuff its harder to write?

Glad someone made a comment on the futility of the Hunter academies.

I really hate how Salems giving us creepy mommy shades.

Hmm. So yeah the bridge IS the throne room/command deck. I like how Neo doesnt give a fuck is just casually kneeling.

Ah okay THATS why he grabbed the scroll.

Heh. Interesting. How exactly does this work I wonder.

...Why does Salem have a ring. Has she always had that ring?

Neo looking at the Hound like “oh, I could ride this thing”.

Oh cool the Ace Ops. And they’re arguing, shocker. Sounds like Elm doesnt trust tech either. No shock there. Idiot.

Atlas elite. Yeah, right.

Huh, is this a Manta with landing gear? I guess they do have them...seems kind of silly to have them so high up though. I guess thats what the thing under the door is for, so they can deploy a ramp. Man, I really dont like Atlas’s airship design.

Hare needs some fuckin suppresants.

Annnnddd...here we go, things go straight to hell. I was warned of this. I am going to try and not be mad...but from what Ive heard the incomptence of the military in this particular section is astronomical.

Huh. So...Grimm can be convirted into a rock-punching liquid? Interesting. Has that always been a thing or... Also why the fuck are you jsut standing there in awe, go kill the fucking thing! Fucking Specialists.

...that is all it took to get through Atlas’s shield? THAT?

I also love how no one does anything. Ironwoods like “wait what the fuck”. Come on bro.

And...thats the Atlas navy. Everyone. Two lasers. One of which missed. Remind me again what exactly these things are used to shoot?

Wait, no, that took down part of it, and then the rest is, surprise, hitting the soft rock on the outside.

THERE goes the shield.

Hang on a second, how long have those giant squid things been there?

And...what. The whale just approaches, nothing happens? You’ve got 12 fucking ships there, shoot the fucking thing.

Again, WHY IS NO ONE DOING ANYTHING?

Oh, it just beach-headed. Okay fine, whatever.

Im not really worried.

Lets see how RT makes this WORSE though...

And thats this weeks episode.

#rwby #rwby v8 #spoilers #rwby spoilers

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iamthelostsundrop · 5 years ago

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A Thousand Years (Tomura Shigaraki X Reader)

A/N: Hey y’all! Wow, I didn’t expect the first story to do so well! I have another one for you. Grab your tissues because it...its kinda depressing. Hope you Ike it and that these altered song fics become more of a regular thing for me!

Warning: Mentions of attempted suicide. One mention of someone being beaten. Death. Shigaraki is also a little OOC in this but idc

Words: 2145

🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️

Time never really made sense to you. Things always either changed or stayed the same. People grow and people die. But not you. You’d been around for a long time. You learned pretty quickly that you had stopped aging when your body stopped maturing and changing, around the time you were 21. You tried to be normal, act like everyone else. You finished college and got a job like everyone else whose quirks weren’t suited to hero work. You and your high school lover got married. You and him had a few children together. It was a good life. Then when you paused and looked at your husband one day, he was old. He was slowing and you were still as agile and young as you were when you were 21, despite your age being in the 60’s now. You saw the love of your life slipping away. You held his hand when he died. You held your children’s hands as they died if you could.

Time passed and you did your best to stay in the background. Not to make connections. Your grandchildren’s grandchildren were graduating from college and you were the same. You started to notice trends in humanity; their violence, their greed and lust for power. You wanted nothing to do with it. Soon you escalated your avoidance into moving as far away from people as you possibly could. You saw it all over the next few hundred years. Life and death, birth and burial. People stopped visiting you. You witnessed the fall of society. Once great cities crumbled and turned to dust. And yet you could not die. You’d tried. Every conceivable way to end someone’s life, you tried it. You tried to end your isolation and seemingly endless life. But your attempts were in vain. Water in your lungs dried. Wounds that should have been fatal closed up and blood replenish itself. Poison tasted sweet and went down easily but never fulfilled its goal. You refused to eat or drink but your body would never waste away. Soon you gave up all hope of ever finding everlasting peace and seeing the afterlife.

Ten thousand years. You had been alive for ten thousand years. Humanity had moved on, after nearly destroying each other with their technology. It was as if time had rewound to the dark ages, with the relics of the past scattered like ruins all over. Humans returned to living in castles with kings and queens who possessed powerful quirks ruling the others. Animals had evolved back into creatures of prey and predators. Strange creatures only seen at the dawn of time and in children’s storybooks began appearing and populating the places man did not. But they let you be. All had been silent in your forest until one warm evening.

A sudden and unexpected knock shattered your serenity. You looked up from the table, almost not believing it. Then it happened again. Three knocks followed by a quiet voice, almost like a nervous whisper.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

The legs of your chair scraped across the dirt floor and you walked over to the door, opening it a crack. There stood a tall man with hunched shoulders. His face was hidden by a hood so that all you could see the tangled mess of what appeared to either be white or very light blue hair.

“Is this the home of the witch of the woods?” his question caught you off guard. Witch? What was he talking about? You were no witch.

“I’ll ask you again. Are you the Witch who calls these woods your domain?”

“I am no witch,” You said, almost indignantly. “But yes I call this wood my home. Who are you?” Without warning the young man dropped to his knees. He lowered his hood and he looked up at you with startlingly red eyes.

“My name is Shigaraki. Tomura Shigaraki. I come here to humbly ask for shelter from you.” You let the door open fully to look at the man before you.

“I don’t understand. Why do you seek shelter from me?”

“Other men fear these woods and the wild creatures that are in it. I...” He hesitated before continuing. “I Need a place to keep out of their sight. Please M’lady.”

Time had always passed so slowly for you, but the past three weeks had been very different from what you were used to. Tomura was Quiet but extremely helpful around the house; gathering ingredients for dinner, cleaning and generally just being there. It had been so long since you had had anyone around it was almost comforting to have another person around again. One evening after he had set up a fire, you asked him to sit by you on the couch.

“Tell me the stories about me, Tomura.” you said looking at the young man curiously. It had been about five thousand years since you been around humans and you were curious what they had evolved or devolved into.

“All the stories are different. One tells of an old hag that kidnaps children. Another says you’re a catlike creature as old as the oldest trees in the forest. The most common one is that you are one of the old gods, living among us in secret until you decide to tell the other gods it is time for judgment and end humanity.” You couldn’t help but argh out loud at the last one.

“And what do you think now you have met me?”

He was silent for a few moments.

“I believe you are a very quiet, very sad, and very beautiful woman who has seen too many bad things happen and you simply got tired of seeing it. So, you moved out here to be alone with the hope that you would never have to see anyone you love get hurt again.” You were silent. He was right. Everything he had said was correct. You hadn’t noticed that he had moved closer to you.

“Do you know what my quirk is?” The air was thick around the pair of you as you looked into his eyes. “Do you know why I isolate myself?” Before you could continue your words were cut off by his lips pressing to yours. You melted into him, eyes closed and your mind lost in the moment. For the first time in your life, time stood still. A gloved hand caressed your cheek, warm and comforting. You had been with another person before but this time was unlike an other before. Your bodies felt like they were made for the other, like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly. Pure bliss.From that point on, things were better. You hadn’t felt this kind of peace since your first lifetime. You watched him do work in the woods, you watched him hunt and start the fire in the evenings. Seasons passed and it was mid winter before you asked him something that had been on your mind for some time.

“Why do you wear gloves?” He was taken aback by the abruptness of the question and how out of the blue it was.

“My power is very destructive.” Humans hadn’t use the term quirk In thousands of years. “I don’t wish to lose control or absentmindedly hurt anything or anyone.” You furrowed your brows.

“Tomura, my love, you know of my past and of my power. Why do you stay silent about yours?” You could see him tense at the subject.

“I. I don’t want to discuss it.”

“Why not?”

“(Y/N), please. Drop the subject.” He turned and looked to you, eyes pleading. He didn’t want to have you look at him like everyone else did. You nodded, going into the kitchen to finish dinner. Tomura disappeared into the woods that evening and did not return that night.

He did not return for six days. Six days you waited on the porch with bated breath, jumping at every sound and sleeping on the couch by the fire. When he did return, you threw your arms around him in tears.

“I was so worried you’d been killed.” he held you close, letting your fear and worries wash away in his comforting warmth

.“It’s time to tell you everything.” he said with a shaky whisper. He sat you down on the couch before removing one of his gloves. He picked up an apple off the table and held it between his thumb and forefinger. As he spoke, he slowly added another finger holding the apple.

“My power is dangerous. Ive told you this before. I call it the power of decay.” When he said this, his fifth finger touched the apple and it withered into dust that settled on the table in a neat pile.

“It manifested when I was about four. Other kids had exciting or helpful powers like flight or the ability to weird flames, mine turned things to dust. I was made to feel ashamed. Told that I would never do anything good in my life with a power like this. I tried to fit in, I wore the gloves because they were specially made to keep my power hidden and handled. Things were fine until I...” he hesitated and looked into your eyes. They gave him the courage to continue.

“The three days before I found your home in these woods, I lost control. A man accused me of touching his daughter and began to beat me in the square. No one would help despite my pleads of innocence and shouts for help. They watched this man beat me within an inch of my life before I grabbed his arm, without my glove. I didn’t mean to kill him I just wanted him to stop. I ran home, took a bag of provisions and went into the woods where I knew they wouldn’t follow me. I had heard the tales of you hiding in the woods and I knew one way or another you would help me.”

The silence that followed was heavy. The man you’d grown to love wouldn’t me your eyes. You took him by the hand that was gloved and gave it a squeeze.

“You have a brave soul and a heart like a lion, Tomura Shigaraki. And I love you. Nothing you can say or do will ever change that.”

And that was it. You had a love again. Someone to spend their life with. You were happy for many years. You were careful to not have children but that didn’t mean you weren’t intimate. Your favorite part of your evenings was when you were chest to chest with him, so close you couldn’t tell where one person ended and the other began. Years passed and then, like it always did, time began to show on your lover but not on you. Soon his handsome face became aged and withered, while yours stayed fresh and young. He became sick one winter and you knew your time was short. You kneeled beside him and smiled with tears in your eyes.

“Don’t be sad, my love.” he said, voice creaking like a tree about to fall. “You’ll fall in love again.” You shake your head, letting the tears spill finally.

“No, I don’t want you to leave me, Tomura.” Your hand gripped his tightly, afraid to let go. Your eyes met his and in an instant, you knew what you wanted. You knew what you needed to do. You slowly held both of his hands in front of you. Slowly but deliberately you slipped off his gloves. Seeing and understanding what you meant to do, Shigaraki tried to pull away.

“(Y/N). Love please don’t. You’ll die.” That’s when you smile.

“Then I'll be with you.” You both knew he was dying. You had lived for hundreds of thousands of years, and you couldn’t imagine a day where you didn’t have him. He stopped fighting and looked you in your (Y/E/C) eyes. As he took one of his last breaths. He held up his hand to you.

“Daring, don’t be afraid.” You whispered, “I’ll see you soon my love.” And with those last words, you laced your fingers with his and closed your eyes.

Dying didn’t hurt like you thought it would. It was peaceful. Like falling asleep. A warmth enveloped your body as you turned to dust in his hands. A bright loving light overcame your senses and blinded you, but only for a second. When you opened your eyes again, you were in a warm field of wildflowers. The sun shone above you without a cloud in the sky. A hundred yards away was a large oak territory with a swing swaying in the spring breeze. A young man with white, or was it light blue hair stood waiting. Waiting for you with a smile on his face. You were finally home.

#may be triggering #tw suicude #tw death #bnha tomura #shigaraki tomura #boku no hero academia shigaraki #mha #bmha #my hero academia #tw beating #tomura shigaraki #mystories

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brunhiddensmusings · 5 years ago

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year in review of parenting

thought i would try and record a few prime interactions ive had with my kids so i remember them as my 3 daughters are just so out there - daughter says shes interested in becoming an animator so i have to line up a list of animations on youtube i know were made by one person, including ‘no evil’ by betsy lee, dingo doodles sips and the karaoke of doom, ‘witches on tinder’, and piemations as examples of the kind of thing one person can reasonably do with a lot of dedication and if you pay close attention you can see how each of the animations are done differently - explaining what skaa was, twice - spending time at gamestop just discussion how some funko pops make sense and some are super dumb. makes sense funko pop would be one of the main characters of a movie thats well loved, dumb ones would be the same but for a movie literally nobody likes but funko pops were released before the movie was so they will never sell, or having 40+ differnt versions of rick and another 50 of morty. even having 15+ different batmans doesnt make sense because given the choice do you want orange batman or classic batman? - no i cannot go to your school to beat up the kid who was mean to you. i mean technically im physically able to but thats not the point - explaining what the music style ‘scat’ is and why its unrelated to the same word used to mean ‘wild animal poop’ - i dont know how to explain to you who freddie mercury is because were in a car and i cant show you a youtube of bohemian rhapsody while im driving - explaining why i am irritated at the kid friendly versions of classic horror monsters, they dont get it so i have to go into detail a- is the wolfman scary? like just a dude thats hairy? no. no he is not. however imagine that someone you know, and you dont know who, may at some point in time turn into a ravenous monster who will attack their friends ruthlessly, its already happened at least once so everyone is on edge wondering who it is. however, secretly it is you that is the monster, living in fear that you could loose control and kill the ones you love most b- the frankenstins monster, just a big green dude with bolts in his neck? scary? no, hes just a larger zombie basically. however imagine someone at college going nutty and then starts to raid the morgue, the cemetery, butcher shops, and surgery wards at hospitals for the human parts he stitches together into a rude parody of a human being and brings it to life. but it doesnt stop there, because he abandoned this new creature that thing now stalks him out of revenge, one by one killing everyone they know - the kids now understand why the majority of the classic monsters are supposed to be scary as balls - explaining COPPA to them because several youtubers we watch together have started loudly announcing ‘not for children’, at which they unprompted start complaining about a youtuber called ‘ryans world’ where a very annoying screaming child tells everyone to buy shit and is repeatedly recommended to them by the algorithm because it knows theyre kids. i should have taken that as a warning so i wasnt surprised at just how much ‘ryans world’ merchandise was in stores this year, like ye gods theres more of it then there was starwars and harry potter merch combined he has his own cereal which is apparently frootloops and disturbing plush animals. we agreed its weird when on his merch theres four different characters but the pink cat girl looks like she was made by someone different then the others because shes got way better detail - explain to kids that ‘green eggs and ham’ was made on a dare, which requires me to recite the whole thing for them to count that there are exactly 50 different words 5 year old- “wheres my sister” me- “in the bathroom, why” 5 year old- “imma hug her” me- “nn.... wow youre - 14 year old in the bathroom- “GAAH!” me- “-fast” - i can do a perfect impression of the ‘huhuhuhuh’ sound sans undertale makes - its been 3 years of me using the phrase ‘sans undertale’ specifically and my daughter who has spent the last 3 years dressing like him and listening to his music hasnt caught on that the way im phrasing it is in fact a joke - kids accidentally stumble uppon a history meme i was part of and i have to explain thats a thing i do - explain to kids what the emu war was - explain to kids who rasputin was - explain to the kids what the problem with hitler was, given the 11 year old is supposed to only get this in the school curriculum this next year i can understand why she was shocked. 14 year old was also shocked becuase she is in the between part of ‘we briefly touched on that war’ and ‘okay now that you are old enough we can explain how shoving people into ovens works’ - they asked, they really did, and only then do i realize that despite it being something everyone should definitely be aware of... figuring out how old and how to explain it really is a tricky matter cause ho-damn most adults get queasy when you explain it and im sure those kids had bad dreams for a week - theyre also aware of the trump concentration camps and were able to draw the connections real quick - pun contest - kid asks me to acquire a daft punk song for her so i can put it on her mp3 player, i have never heard of this song despite her spending 5 minutes describing it and how their eyes are freaky. have to explain to her that when i was about her age daft punk released an entire movie made of music videos. we have to show each other different daft punk videos to understand each other - no, daft punk are the robots, not the blue eye people. literally nobody knows what they look like under the helmets they even show up to music award shows wearing them. the helmets can actually make words and emotes theyre really rad songs we have erupted into together - spooky scary skeletons - narwhals narwhals - another irish drinking song - hubba hubba zoot zoot

#dad things #year in review #dorks

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citialiin · 5 years ago

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GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER. at 1 AM when hopefully everyone is asleep

tagged by ; @atomicglass thank u!!! tagging: well like every1 i kno got tagged. @spokenleaf. get at it.

1. FIRST NAME: basil basil basil basil basil basil basil

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: i have been sad for ten years

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: i think big/pointy noses are cute

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: COCO ICHIBANYA VEGETABLE CURRY W/ CHEESE AND VEGETABLE CROQUETTE (LARGE RICE)

5. A FOOD YOU HATE: meat

6. GUILTY PLEASURE: stories about chimpanzees hurting humans

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: sweatshirt and sweatpants cuz shits cold rn

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: ive been dating da same girl for almost 4 years and before that i dated a guy for 3 years i never intend for long lasting relationships I am just a flawless human being and people grovel to be in my presence

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: kms needed to start taking art seriously in like high school instead of midway through college im so behind compared to a lot of other animation students wow this is such a depressing question im just really sad im sad and i roleplay on tumblr what do you want from me

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: no touch me i HURT u ... i tend to show my affection by drawing people things and talking to them.

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: what we do in the shadows / mad max...this resurfaced a memory where i watched the lorax OBSESSIVELY in early high school cuz i was in love with the once-ler i mean i watched that movie prolly 50+ times

12. FAVORITE BOOK: aztec by gary jennings

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: cabbage

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]: wowwwww ziggy x thomas (blossomingbeelzebug) um i guess mercy overwatch x moira overwatch is really good?

15. PIE OR CAKE: cake unless its apple pie

16. FAVORITE SCENT: squeeze a lemon into my nose

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH: hehehehehe jemaine clement ..... or david bowie maybe i dont kno i dont think i would date him he’s kind of Freakay ....... dr*w r*usch .... ooo mmm gggg tee hee hee

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: i want to go back to japan but Being Real for a second going there as a chinese person sucks because the racism is like Palpable. imo i was treated nicer when i just spoke english and people thought i was ambiguous asian american but people treated me with a much colder demeanor when my mom would speak chinese or tagalog to me. chinese tourists do suck ass though so maybe i deserve it.

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: introverb

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY: in sophomore (?ish) year of high school i decided i was done being scared of things so i would literally watch liveleak/best gore videos or go on those like 4chan “rekt” threads to desensitize myself to gore. so now i am not afraid of anything but jumpscares still make me pee myself

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID: android because im poor

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: if i start playing overwatch a lot it means im really depressed (hence why ive played overwatch at least once a week since it came out and i dont evne have fun im just sad) but i play binding of isaac and cookie run on my phone lollll im such a child

23. DREAM JOB: i would be happy being a story artist at any animation studio for features or TV. but if you really want to get me egotistical my dream job would be to be a showrunner for an animated television series even if i acknowledge that will likely never happen

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: buy some cocoichibanya curry

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: who tf spends time hating fictional people

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: HETALIA LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL homestuck uhhhh dangan ronpa idk i kind of stopped being involved in fandom things after mid high school. once-ler fandom (RIP)

#ooc #talking about myself is cathartic like getting leeches put on my face to suck out the excess bad vibes

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onepunchmiss · 5 years ago

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OPM S2e11 Live Blog

“The Varieties of Pride”

I left work an hour early just to watch the episode sooner and of COURSE I GOT STUCK IN TRAFFIC FOR AN HOUR because the universe BE LIKE THAT. But guys holy shit this is the second to last episode of the season. So much shit is about to go down. I’m eerily calm and concerning myself soooo uh without further ado I’mma WATCH

As always I’m watching from the perspective of someone up to date on the manga and web comic!

Ok so we’re picking up exactly where we left off, but I mean how could we not, really? And Garou still looks beautiful and I still cri evr tim KEK Glasses looks SO out of place like his fists arent even raised when everyone else is pointing a weapon ar Garou like dude?? Every time Garou laughs I gain a year of life btw, also god damn he’s really drawn SO WELL here, pls pls pls treat Genos with the same respect my bby boy pls

“Where are the S class heroes” oh dear be careful what you wish for…………………. asdfghjkl “any kid who heard you would be so let down” IDK GAROU ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT. ARE YOU. ohohohOH OH OH THE STAIRCASE!!! THE CRUEL STAIRCASE!! AH ok opening theme who it gon b this week

ASDFGHJKL A CHIBI GAROU IN THE OPENING IM IN LOVE

Oh no these flashbacks are going to be heartbreaking, but at the same time I cant not see a bunch of Geryuganshoops asdfghjkl ohhh oh no Garou no Garou is literally me I was that child this is personal and it hurts stopppp I just wanted Wile E Coyote to catch road runner once JUST ONCE I was SO that kid im- also what the hell kind of show is ‘Justice man’ why does the monster sound so sympathetic like, IM JUST TRYING TO STOP OCEAN POLLUTION TOO yall fuck just Justice Fire Kick me to the face too i guess

AAAAAAAAA IM SCREAMING GO MY BOY KICK ASS THIS IS LIKE THE EXACT MOMENT WHERE GAROU OFFICIALLY EARNED MY COMPLETE RESPECT IN THE FIRST PLACE THEY THINK THEY GOT HIM AND HES JUST LIKE WELL ACTUALLY FUCK YOU IMMA POWER UP BITCH AND I AM LIVING SEEING IT IN MOTION MY BOY asdfghjkl”like im not allowed to have one? talk about discrimination” son I love you THIS IS AMAZING THIS WHOLE THING IS AMAZING

BEHOLD the exact moment u shit ur metal pants, fool

IM JUST SCREAMING THIS WHOLE TIME I DONT HAVE WORDS THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ANIMATION IVE SEEN ALL SEASON JC STAFF DOESNT SUCK THEY JUST POURED 100% OF THEIR TIME INTO THIS FIGHT

WHOAH calm the fuck down there smiley face man?? I’m SO GLAD they made him look crazy a bit cause I honestly didn’t even notice him just nonchalantly suggest to kill him the first read through, holy shit fuck ?????

THIS IS JUST SO GOOD IM SCREAMING HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO SCREENSHOT EVERY SINGLE FRAME ITS ALL SO GOOD

WHAT IS THIS

A GLASSES FLASHBACK

I THOUGHT IT WAS AN OMAKE OR???

WHAT IS THIS

WHAT

OH MY GOD HIS VOICE?? IM,,, BABY NO AND SAITAMA??????????? WHAT THE FUCK AM I WITNESSING RIGHT NOW

AND THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT LIMITS ST O P

SADFHGJKLKJMHNGBFVCXCVBRGHNTYMJ<KUMJYNTBRVECWRVTBYUMIKMYNTBRVECVBTNYUMIYNTBRVECVRBTNYUM

I CANT BELIEVE THEY PUT THAT IN THERE WHAT THE SHIT FUCK

OH GOD

I THINK IM GONNA LITERALLY CRY THIS SCENE GETS ME EVERY TIME I READ IT LIKE I JUST REREAD IT THIS MORNING BUT-----

oh no its happening. im crying ok oh dear lord

I just…. love him so much … holy shit… ah the laugh, +1 more year life, and again oh no im becomming immortal ahhhh

ASDFGHJKL FUCK “YOU GOT ISSUES BROTHER” GODDAMNIT U READ MY MIND GAROU PLS

Oh my god. The voice sound effect here. just everything about this. Oh my god. I’m so shook holy shit shit ----- ‘Oh your still alive’ WELL ILL TELL U WHAT I AM LIVING RN SO YEAH oh no and Garous little slightly heartbroken hand gesture as Tareo screams and runs and then he just starts limping away gasping for water and then

ASDFGHUJIKL GENOS

WAIT CAN SOMEONE GIVE GAROU WATER FIRST THO

I DONT KNOW IF IM EXCITED OR HEARTBROKEN RIGHT NOW HELP the MUSIC is so INTENSE and GENOS LOOKS SO COOL IM SO FULL OF EMOTIONS AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IS CONFLICTING OH NO

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT THIS ANIMATION HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD EVEN THE STILLS OF THE SMEAR FRAMES LOOK FUKKIN AMAZING GOD DAMNIT

wow ok saitama and king right ok gonna pause and give my heartrate a second to come down holy shit. I’m gonna watch and rewatch this episode 2000000 times I know it oh my god. phew. ok. ok. moving on

Saitama just keeling over and SCREAMING is me 24/7 HOLY- omg I’m dying thank you opm for being a glorious mix of BADASS and PEAK COMEDY ASDFGHJKL WHAT IS THAT FACE SAITAMA this is so good. How long have they been there playing games anyway?? Aww King being concerned for Genos’s safety thats so sweet?? Also Saitama worrying very subtly I love them so much I cri

AH THERE GOES MY HEART RATE AGAIN OK asdfghjkl THE watchdog Man movements!!! LOOK!! SO !! COOL!! Ouch ok I love seeing Garou smile but not while pinned to a tree like that no nope I dont like it not one bit oh no

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THERE IT IS THERE IT IS THERE IT IS THERE IT IS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ohhey its flowey undertale

ASDFGHJKL OK Genos looks so cool I just IM so GLAD im just so happy I cant Also IM LOVING ANIME GAROU WITH THE RED its just SO GOOD phew phew asdfghjk just EVERY SINGLE SHOT OF GAROU IS SO PERFECT EVERY. SINGLE. ONE

BANG ASDFGHJKL BANG OH MY GOD I WAS SO CAUGHT UP I FORGOT wtf this music is so funky i love it??? Holy crap???

This looks soo good I am alive I am living is this the thrill of life ?? ? Oh my god. This music is killing me this is so intense, I don’t want it to end here. Bang is also drawn SO BEAUTIFULLY here everyone in the whole episode is WAIT

WAIT

I DO NOT REMEMBER THIS FLASH BACK

THIS IS NEW

OH NO

ASDFGHJKL GODDAMNIT SOURFACE

One, Murata, JC, why did you do that. that was cruel. It hurts. i wasn't prepared. I mean im never prepared but like ESPECIALLY not for that just tear my heart out just tear it out i dont even need it please just JUST

oh no, you cant end the episode like that

please come back

wh-what about my favorite dopey bird man

please

wha

what am I looking at what is this end card “The wiping of the disciple’s butt” is that really how thats translated?? What a fukkin roller coaster

So this was by far my favorite episode of the season to date. I know a lot of people were worried about the animation quality and just overall quality JC staff has been putting out thus far, but I think it’s clear why the rest of the season has been average majority of the time. They spent. All the time. And budget. on. This. Episode. Every Character looked beautiful. The animation was fluid, not too blurry, not too flashy, well paced, and with high quality art. I just. Oh my god. I’m in denial right now that the season only has One episode left. Just 24 minutes more. Until WHO KNOWS when. Whos gonna cry with me next week? pls im gonna need like 100 shoulders my weak heart. ahh shitttttt

Side Note: DID YALL HEAR ABOUT THE OPM GAME COMING OUT??? I swear I JUST had a conversation with @joyandeggs last week about how they could make a game and what it should/could/would entail, AND LO, I HAVE BEEN BLESSED

June 2019 is a BLESSED month for me regarding OPM the past few weeks have been an OVERLOAD

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 6 years ago

Text

A Safe Mistake (Part 3)

Summary: The reader gets some good news at the hospital but has a slight falling out with Dean...

Masterlist

Pairing: Nanny!Dean x Single parent!reader

Word Count: 4,700ish

Warnings: language

The drive to the hospital was the longest of your life despite being only five minutes from work. You found the ER quickly and ran up to the nurses station, getting in the elevator once you knew which floor to head to. You barely stepped outside of it before you saw a few people standing outside a room and you rushed over.

“Y/N-”

“Quiet,” you snapped at Dean, Dean shrinking away from the doctor and nurse he’d been with, quickly moving away to a bench further down the hall. “I’m Ethan’s mom. Is he-”

“He’s okay, a few bumps and bruises. X-ray just finished with him and he came back clean. Another nurse is with him in the playroom,” said the doctor. “Sara, would you go get Ethan for me? He won’t need to be admitted.”

“Thank you,” you said, the nurse leaving.

“We’re hoping that possibly you could convince Mr. Winchester to allow us to look at him,” said the doctor. You turned your head, noticing the ruffled clothes and scrapes all over. He was holding his shoulder but kept his eyes on the ground. “He claims he’s alright but he’s showing signs of a dislocated shoulder and other possible injuries, possibly bruised or fractured ribs.”

“The hospital said it was an accident on the phone,” you said.

“Yes. Mr. Winchester said he and Ethan were playing hide and seek. Ethan appeared to lean up against the second floor railing as Mr. Winchester was coming up the stairs and the railing broke away. Mr. Winchester caught Ethan and the two fell down the stairs together, Mr. Winchester taking the brunt of the impact,” he said.

“The railing?” you said.

“Mr. Winchester has spoken to an officer and protection services. An officer was sent to your home and you may end up speaking to one yourself but the story seems to check out,” he said.

“Thank you,” you said, spotting Ethan down the hall. He looked fine, like he’d had a day of rough playing maybe but he was a kid and those happened. You picked him up in a big hug, sighing as he gave one back. “Want to go home, buddy?”

“Is Dean okay?” he asked.

“Can I take him?” you asked the doctor, getting a nod. “Let’s go home.”

Ethan asked again as you headed down the hall, walking past Dean as Ethan tried to get his attention.

“Dean,” you said, his head lifting up. You had to pause for a moment, his whole face so heartbroken, barely able to look you in the eye. “Get checked out by the doctor.”

“Yes, mam.”

When you got home you had to speak to an officer who turned out to have been a construction worker previously, showing you where the railing in the home had not been installed properly and it was likely that it was only a matter of time and any person could have gone over. He gave you the number of a guy that would come out and put in a new one for you and he could guarantee it’d be done right. You thanked him and tried to pick up the area as best you could, banning Ethan from going upstairs without you for the time being.

After a quick dinner and a change, you called up Heather a few streets over and asked if she’d watch Ethan for a few hours. You needed to speak to Dean and Ethan didn’t need to be around for that.

Back at the hospital, you found out Dean was admitted for the night, getting a room number and heading off to see him. He was picking at the IV in his arm when you rattled your knuckles on his door, face blank for a second as he recognized you, swallowing hard.

“Is Ethan okay? They wouldn’t tell me anything,” said Dean quietly. You stepped inside and walked over beside his bed, pulling his hand away from the needle he was poking at.

“He’s fine,” you said, Dean giving a small nod.

“I can come get my car tomorrow,” he said.

“It’s okay,” you said.

“I think I left my lunch pail in the house. You can just chuck it in the car,” said Dean. You raised an eyebrow, Dean looking away. “I know I’m fired.”

“Wow,” you said, grabbing a chair and taking a seat, giving him a sad smile. “I came here to apologize to you and you’re the one acting like you did something wrong.”

“He got hurt because of me,” said Dean.

“He got a few bruises, ones the kid doesn’t even care about and that he gets every day he plays. If you hadn’t been there and caught him, he could have broken bones, hit his head...the point is you got hurt so he didn’t. Again. No one had any idea that was going to happen and I don’t blame you for it. I’m sorry I snapped and assumed it was something you did. That was so horribly wrong of me to do and the first question you asked wasn’t about you, it was if he was alright and I will never assume you would ever put him in danger again. I’m so sorry I did that to you. You’ve been nothing but kind and gentle with him and with me. I guess I really am the rich bitch you probably think I am,” you said, looking down at your lap.

“I forgive you,” said Dean softly. “I’ve never thought you were a rich bitch either. You got scared and it’s okay. I was scared too and he’s not even mine. I can’t imagine what was going through your head.”

“It’s not an excuse,” you said. Dean shrugged and winced, leaning his head back against the pillow. “Probably shouldn’t do that.”

“Yeah. Thankfully it’s not broken,” said Dean. “Listen, I don’t think they’re letting me out of here until the morning so you probably have to get Ethan to daycare but I can pick him up.”

“No, you’re taking tomorrow off,” you said.

“No, I’m not,” said Dean.

“Yeah, you are,” you said. “I got Ethan. You take care of yourself.”

“I’m not taking a day off my third week,” he said.

“Dean. Take it off. I’ll manage,” you said. “Or I’ll kick your ass.”

“Fine but I will be there Monday.”

“Yeah, we’ll see, Dean.”

Friday Night

“Mommy,” said Ethan from the backseat of the car. “Where’s Dean’s house again?”

“He lives in an apartment on the other side of town, kiddo. We lived in one when you were a baby,” you said, turning down a street and finding his complex, driving around until you found the right numbered building. You pulled into an empty parking space, grabbing the bag from the passenger seat. Ethan had undone his seatbelt and climbed out by the time you got around the car, holding his own little bag. He shut his door and walked up to the sidewalk, waiting for you. “He’s in number 2 so this one right here.”

Ethan walked down the second path to a door, reaching his hand up and ringing the doorbell a few times. A light flicked on above you, the door cracking open, Dean answering with messed up hair and in a pair of sweats.

“Y/N?” asked Dean, glancing down when Ethan held up his bag. “Well hey dude. How’re you feeling?”

“Good. Mommy said you got hurt so we made you a get better bag,” he said. Dean smiled and took the bag from him, awwing when he pulled out a picture Ethan drew at daycare and one of his stuffed animals. “You can keep him.”

“Thanks, Ethan,” said Dean, kneeling down slowly, letting Ethan give him a careful hug. “I’ll be feeling better in no time now.”

“We made dinner too if you’re in the mood,” you said, Dean getting up with your help, nodding. You handed the bag over, Dean opening his door more, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“Well you guys drove all the way over, might as well have some company while I eat. If you aren’t busy that is,” he said. You shook your head, Dean moving aside, showing Ethan and you where you could leave your shoes and coats, walking through a small family room and setting the bag down on a kitchen table. You looked around, spotting a dark empty bathroom and bedroom but not much else. “I know. It’s small.”

“It’s nice,” you said.

“It’s an old dump,” said Dean with a smile. “But it’s clean.”

You ushered Ethan to the kitchen and a chair, Dean stepping into the small galley kitchen and pulling out three plates from a cupboard, carrying them to the table as you started to dish up some food. You didn’t say much as you ate, Ethan and Dean chatting away like they always did, Dean making sure Ethan had been listening to you about staying away from the stairs until they were fixed.

“I think I got some ice cream if you want,” said Dean when you’d finished. You helped put some leftovers away in his fridge, finding it full of microwave dinners. You let Ethan have a small bowl, Dean struggling to empty his garbage in the meantime. You stepped over and helped him pull it out, Dean sighing when you put in a fresh bag. “Thanks.”

“S’no problem,” you said, setting the bag near the front door, stopping to look at a few pictures on the wall. “Is that your little brother?”

“Sammy? Yeah,” said Dean, Sam in graduation robes, Dean with a big smile and arm around him. “He used to live here on and off until about last year. He moved in with his fiance.”

“Both of you lived here?” you asked, Dean nodding.

“Yeah. It’s been us for awhile. A few different places. This one was pretty good,” said Dean. You nodded, not wanting to ask any questions, Dean chuckling as he sat down on the couch. “It’s okay. I know I grew up a little funny.”

“I’m just surprised it fell on you to help your brother out. Are your parents strict with money?” you asked, Dean smirking. “Sorry. I knew I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s okay. My mom died in a house fire when I was really little. Sam doesn’t even remember her, he was just a baby,” said Dean.

“I’m so sorry,” you said.

“It was a long time ago. Our dad did his best but we ended up moving around a lot, never had much money. He got sick when I was 17. We didn’t have anyone else and we wound up in the system for a few months until I turned 18 and I got kicked out. I got custody of Sam as fast as I could, a job, a place for us to stay. I was raising him most of my life anyways. It wasn’t that hard,” said Dean.

“Sounds incredibly hard,” you said.

“It’s really hard to be a dad to your little brother when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing,” said Dean with a sad laugh. “We fought a lot when he was a teenager. Things got easier once he went to college and came back, realized I was just doing the best I could for us. We’re pretty close.”

“I thought I had a sob story being the single young mom over here but you got me beat,” you said, Dean laughing. “This isn’t my place to say this so tell me screw myself if you want but...Sam’s what, 24? You don’t have to live so paycheck to paycheck so he doesn’t have loans, Dean. I’m sure Sam will survive if you take a little of your extra income for yourself.”

“I know. We actually-” said Dean, cutting himself off when the door opened, a tall man walking inside, looking at you and Dean, glancing over to see Ethan eating the last of his ice cream in the kitchen. “I thought you had to get back to study.”

“Figured I’d drive back Sunday night since you needed help,” said Sam, giving you a smile. “I didn’t know Dean had a girlfriend.”

“No!” said Dean, instantly standing up, wincing at the pain in his shoulder. “This is my boss and her son. They made me dinner.”

“Oh,” said Sam. “That’s very sweet of you.”

“Well it’s the least I could do,” you said, Sam tilting his head, Dean shaking his own. “Dean does so much for us and he did stop Ethan from getting hurt.”

“At the garage?” asked Sam.

“No, as my nanny,” you said, Sam’s face dropping as he stared at Dean.

“A what?” said Sam. “You’re a nanny? You said you got a promotion at the garage!”

“...I got a new job, so what?” said Dean.

“You lied to me about where the extra money for school came from for starters,” said Sam. “You take care of a kid all day now?”

“Yeah,” said Dean with a shrug, closing his eyes and hissing. “I like it. I really do Sam.”

“Excuse us for just a minute,” said Sam, grabbing Dean’s good arm and dragging him into the bedroom. You went over to Ethan and cleaned up his bowl, knowing you were about to get kicked out any second. You were slipping on your shoes and coats when the door opened, Sam exiting and Dean behind.

“Everything all good?” you asked.

“Mhm,” said Sam, heading past you and out the front door, Dean sighing as he left.

“Thanks for letting us join you for dinner,” you said.

“Thanks for making it. You didn’t have to do that,” said Dean.

“It was no problem,” you said, glancing at the door. “You really okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine, Y/N. You guys better head home. It’s getting close to little dude’s bedtime,” said Dean.

“Give us a call if you need something,” you said.

“Sure. I’ll do that.”

Dean came back to work bright and early Monday morning. He was moving more at a regular speed again and Ethan understood he had to be careful with Dean for a few more weeks. Your railing was installed that day, nice and secure now. Dean seemed withdrawn though, the conversation not flowing as easily as normal between the two of you. You let it slide until that Friday night and Dean was slipping on his boots to head home.

“If there’s anything you want to talk to me about, Dean, you can,” you said, Dean picking up his jacket. “You seem different this week.”

“Just having a bad week,” said Dean quietly. “Nothing you did. It’s my fault.”

“I don’t really think it is,” you said.

“Ethan’s in bed. You don’t have to pretend to care, Y/N,” said Dean.

“Excuse me?” you shot back, Dean sighing.

“I’m sorry. I am. I’m just really tired,” said Dean.

“I know I’m your boss but I care about you too, Dean. Not just because Ethan likes you either,” you said. “Stick around for a minute so we can talk.”

“About what?” he asked.

“Whatever’s bothering you,” you said. Dean stared at you, debating it before he kicked off his boots and set his jacket down, following you down the hall to your family room. He sat down on the couch and you went to the kitchen, grabbing him a beer.

“Thanks,” he said when you gave it over, Dean tapping his fingers against the side as you sat down with your own. “I’m sorry.”

“God, I don’t think you know what that word is supposed to be used for you say it so much,” you said.

“I got in big fight with Sam last Friday after you guys left. He thinks I’m childish and that I think he can’t take care of himself,” said Dean. “He doesn’t understand I’m only trying to help him.”

“Okay, when Ethan breaks a rule, what do you do with him?” you asked.

“I sit him down, ask why he did it and then explain why the rule is there and how what he did breaks that rule and why it’s wrong,” said Dean.

“The first thing you do is ask for his perspective,” you said. “Did you get Sam’s perspective on this whole thing? Or even ask for it?”

“Sam’s not breaking rules though,” said Dean.

“Sam’s a grown man and I don’t know for sure what he’s thinking but it’s probably something along the lines of he thinks you still view him as a child that needs protecting,” you said.

“I’ll never apologize for protecting my baby brother,” said Dean.

“It’s okay that you want to protect him. I think what Sam has a problem with is he thinks you’re hurting yourself to help him and he’s an adult now. He doesn’t want you to do that for him anymore,” you said.

“Do you think I’m hurting myself?” asked Dean.

“I think you have a big heart and put other people before yourself,” you said.

“Exactly, Sam’s wrong,” said Dean.

“No, he isn’t. Neither of you are. You’re just...I think you had to act like a father to Sam and it’s hard for you to see that Sam doesn’t need that from you now. He just needs a big brother,” you said.

“You’re really wise for a chick that’s younger than me,” he said.

“I’m like a few months younger, dork,” you said, Dean smiling a little. “Oh? He smiles again? We missed those around here.”

“Well I’m still going to help him with tuition but I guess I don’t have to give him all the extra money. Maybe just most of it,” said Dean with a smirk.

“Hey, it’s a start,” you said, sipping on your drink, leaning back into the cushions. “Oh, that was a mistake.”

“Your couch is much comfier than mine,” he said, closing his as well. You were both quiet for a few long moments, your eyes eventually opening to see Dean slumped over, breathing slowly. You thought about waking him up but decided he’d probably lost a lot of sleep during the week over Sam and him crashing there wasn’t a big problem.

You woke up Saturday morning with a stretch and grabbed Ethan from his room, the both of you heading downstairs in your pajamas for cartoons and breakfast. Dean was still passed out on the couch where you left him, Ethan walking over and staring at him. You heard Dean jump when he woke up, Dean looking around.

“Ethan, you know that’s creepy, right?” said Dean, shaking his head.

“Try having it happen in the middle of the night,” you said, Ethan climbing up on the couch.

“Did you sleepover?” asked Ethan, Dean rubbing his eyes.

“I think so,” said Dean, looking back at you. Ethan grabbed the remote and turned on his show, Dean sitting up more, nodding his head. “You a batman guy or superman guy?”

“Batman, duh,” said Ethan.

“I knew there was a reason I liked you kid,” he said, ruffling Ethan’s hair. They talked about superheroes for a few minutes as you made up pancakes, delivering a few plates to them over the back of the couch. “I’m pretty sure it’s my job to make you food, not the other way around.”

“Just eat, Winchester,” you said, messing up both of their hair, bringing over your own plate after a minute, sitting on the other side of Ethan.

“Mommy,” said Ethan during a commercial. “Are you sure Dean’s not your boyfriend?”

“Ethan,” you said, his face dropping. “I told you the answer is no.”

“But in class-”

“I don’t care what your friend in daycare’s mom does with her boyfriend and her family. Dean is not my boyfriend, understand?” you said. Ethan nodded slowly, focusing back on the TV. “Hey. Just because Dean isn’t my boyfriend doesn’t mean he isn’t part of our family.”

You weren’t entirely sure why you said that, especially when Dean was literally sitting right on the other side of Ethan. He certainly wasn’t a stranger and he was as close as a friend but…

You stood up and grabbed the plates, ditching them in the kitchen before you jogged upstairs. Sure, Dean was a great employee but he was your employee still. He was great with Ethan and he was certainly the kind of male role model you’d always hoped for him to have. He was protective but sweet and he was a little bit flirty but that was his demeanor and-

“Y/N,” said Dean, knocking on your bedroom door. You pulled it open fast and he stood their fidgeting.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t...I mean...what I meant to say…” you kept starting, cutting yourself as you watched his face. He stared at you, eyes drifting down to your lips. He was moving before you really saw it happening, going almost all the way and somehow your body was moving without you, meeting him the rest of the way. The kiss lasted only a second before you broke apart, Dean blinking a few times.

A million thoughts flashed through your mind but only one caught your attention.

What you thought were nerves over the whole nanny thing was so obviously clear now. You’d had a crush and it’d only been getting stronger over the past month.

“I…” said Dean, your hand resting on his arm. You pulled him into your bedroom and kicked the door shut, leaning up to get another kiss, Dean putting more confidence behind this one. Again he pulled away much too quickly and you felt your cheeks begin to burn.

“I’m sorry,” you said. Dean shook his head.

“Don’t be,” he said, a small smile on his face. “I did it first.”

“Um…” you said, shifting on your feet, staring at him. He put a hand on your shoulder that made you still, moving it up to cup your cheek, positive he could feel the heat in them.

“Whatever you want is okay with me,” he said.

“Kind of a cop out if you think about it,” you said.

“Well you are the one in charge,” he said.

“I’m not going to tell you how to feel, Dean,” you said.

“I think I made it pretty clear how I feel.”

“I think I did too.”

“So where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know,” you said, closing your eyes. “It feels like an abuse of power or some crap.”

“How about I go back downstairs and clean up and you get dressed and I’ll be gone by the time you’re done. Monday I’ll come to work like normal and I can go back to just being the nanny,” he said.

“Why did you kiss me?” you asked.

“I know how crappy I felt last night and you made it better. I never feel better when someone tries,” he said. “Then you and Ethan brought over a care package for me when you so didn’t have to and you feel like a friend that cares. Then my heart about stopped when Ethan fell and they wouldn’t tell me a damn thing and I was mortified not because I thought I’d get in trouble but because I thought he was hurt with like a head problem or something. I really care about him and you. I guess I was never good at that part of the job.”

“But why-”

“Because I like you. It feels like we come from different worlds almost but then it feels like you know the right thing to say or do better than anyone I’ve ever met. You’re not this workaholic mom I thought you’d be when I started. You just want to spend more time with your son and be a good mom and finding a good person like that is so incredibly hard. I spend most of my week with you guys and it’s getting harder to stop those feelings from growing,” said Dean. “Why did you-”

“I like you. My son likes you. You have changed our lives from takeout and my son asking every night if mommy’s okay to quality time together and I just feel happier and you do stuff you don’t have to like check the locks at night and I was actually really glad you stayed over last night and-”

“Y/N,” said Dean with a smile. “Don’t freak out on me.”

“Sorry,” you said, putting your hand over his still on your face, Dean staring at you. “I like you.”

“I like you,” he said. “I feel like there’s a but in there though.”

“I pay you. You’re my employee. I’m not...it feels wrong to...I’m gonna feel shitty either way when you leave this room,” you said.

“What if we figured out a way to make it work?” he asked. “I could always stop being a nanny, go back to my old job. Sam made it clear he doesn’t want money from me anymore.”

“Yeah but that’s not fair to Ethan or you,” you said.

“No offense but I took this job for the extra money for Sam. I don’t need it,” said Dean. “You’ve seen my place. I don’t need much to get by.”

“I still need to hire a nanny for Ethan and we don’t even know if this is going to work,” you said.

“I’d like to try,” said Dean.

“Me too,” you said.

“Okay then. I have a solution that might work out for all of us,” said Dean.

“How so?” you asked.

“Well, my old job, I used to go in early and I’d get out at 3. I know Ethan’s daycare has pickups open until 3:15 and it’s right by the garage. I could super easily pick him up and hang out like we do now until you get home,” he said. “You don’t need a nanny and all that extra money can go towards his college fund or retirement. A lot of stuff doesn’t have to change and I wouldn’t be your employee anymore.”

“No,” you said, shaking your head.

“It could-”

“I said no,” you said. “We’re...we’re acting like a pair of stupid lovestruck teenagers. We are adults and-”

“You just said you wanted to try,” said Dean.

“I’m not having you change your whole freaking life again for a possible chance at a relationship,” you said. “It’s reckless and-”

“Maybe you’re right,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “Kissing you was a mistake and I will not make it again.”

He flung open the bedroom door and was down the stairs and outside before you could even realize what you’d done.

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #one shot #dean winchester x reader #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #dean fanfiction #dean reader insert #supernatural reader insert #spn reader insert #au #single parent au #dean au #nanny!dean #dean one shot

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pinkpoundcake · 6 years ago

Text

DESERT DEVIL

CH. 5 FROM THE MEADOW

All Might/ Reader as Female OC

NSFW AU

7K+ Words

Here we go! Finally. I had to pause and do quite a bit of research for this one. I’m pretty happy with the chapter, but I’ll go back and catch some mistakes later! I’ve been coloring in PS and typing on GoogleDocs all day so my eyes are tired and won’t catch much. We’ll be taking off from here. I’ll warn that there’s no smut in this chapter, but you can anticipate some for the next. It was just out of place, sorry, lmao.

I’m not sure of the next time I’ll be updating, but you can anticipate sometime next week. Thank you if you stop by! All Chapters are in my desert devil tag.

“You may not like this, but you all have to understand! It's for the best.”

The crowd erupted into irritated chatter and groans. This was one of those stressful downsides to using your quirk in this way. It would be easier for you to be the conduit for translation, if so many different kinds of minds weren't giving you so much feedback. Speaker, you, all the joined hands in the crowd. All the joined hands in the crowd, you, the speaker. So many different minds you had to help understand.

Your eyebrows tensed hard enough for muscles to spasm beneath your horns. You were bearing a lot of stress, and your main client, the mayor, hadn't picked up on that yet. His little, white paw was still clutched around your first two fingers while you kneeled down on the soap box next to him. Aizawa had taken your other hand, and then his other hand was linked to the next person. Like one big, unhappy pow-wow. Now, the Mayor, he was so eager to console his constituents, you didn't have the heart to tell him his time was almost up.

“How is that any fair?!” Your eyes were clamped closed. You recognized that voice, but you didn't have the head-space to pin a face. High and kind of whiny. That was probably one of the Inn keeper's daughters.

“The raised fee for violating curfew is incentive, my friends! For all of you to reconsider breaking this protective law. Two hours after sundown, we expect everyone to be locked up, or at least within the bounds of town!” Mayor Nezu responded in his usual chipper tone. His beady black eyes drifted over the crowd of grubby, exasperated faces.

“A majority of these deaths were discovered far out of the edge of town, you see! And by the fees we've collected these long days and nights, some of you have not taken the previous encouragement seriously!” The Mayor spoke more sternly, though he was still smiling. “If you follow the law, you won't have to pay a hundred pieces, and you won't be ripped apart! How lovely is that!”

“So what are y'all gonna do with all of them extra coins, huh?!” You knew who that was without having to open your eyes. It was this young, plucky fella who always loitered outside the general store eyeing women patrons in their nicest dresses on Sundays. The purple gumdrop always liked to inform you that he didn't mind being around too tall fillies like you, and that always made you wonder where in the goddamn his mother and manners were.

“As always,” Mayor Nezu paused “these fees will be added to our tax well for railroad imports and provisions from Tucson. Public works projects, as well, that will improve our water storage for the future. The budget is always available for a gander at City Hall! I might look like a rat, but I'm no thief, ahahahaha!” You would laugh, too, if you could. He was easy to trust, but the Mayor was strange…

“Please, please, any other q-,” the Mayor blinked with surprise as you yanked your hand away and broke the chain. That was all you could handle. You needed a rest if you still had to hold Sheriff Todoroki's hand for the last portion of the itinerary.

Ah...well, alright. They were going to have a brief recess.

II.

The pounding in your head had subsided a portion. You were glad most folks were distracted with chattering amongst themselves in groups while they allowed you to rest up at the stone edge of the empty, town fountain. You were supposed to let Deputy Aizawa know when you were ready to translate again, which should probably be soon. You didn’t know what time it was, but you could feel the sun rising up higher over your head. It was nice for a little while, but now the bright beams were making your horns uncomfortably hot.

Off to your left, you sensed someone’s shadow sweep over. You thought they were someone in a passing group of gossip, but they stepped a little closer and draped something soft over your head. Your eyes ached, but you cracked one open to see who’d come to pester you. You already had an idea of who it was. “I didn’t think the sun was helping.” Yagi stabbed his cane in the dirt, and then sank down next to you. You heard distinct popping from the joints of his knees. He grunted his same, endearing grunt. This was his usual spot, wasn’t it?

“Thank you. It wasn’t.” You muttered. He understood you couldn’t sound as delighted to see him as you wanted. You sighed and brought his yellow shawl up higher to cover up your forehead and a portion of your eyes. It wasn’t medicine, but it felt and smelled nice.

“I don’t have too much time to talk.” “I understand.” Yagi crossed both of his big, rough palms over the handle of his cane, and then rested his chin over his knuckles. He leaned far and set his eyes on wads of familiar and unfamiliar people still discussing the first half of this morning’s meeting.

“Dove,” Yagi didn’t turn his head, but you could feel his eyes roll back in your direction “are you going to be alright?”

“After a few days of rest, I’ll be fine. I promise.” Yagi’s hands were beneath his chin, so you touched and rubbed his side instead to assure him. Maybe this was a little taboo, but no one was paying attention. He was resisting the urge to move closer. You’d never touched him before, not that he could remember. There was a wonderful heat and softness from your fingers that penetrated the thinned fabric of his shirt, and swept each scarred rib. He felt soothed ( oh yes, he was nervous) , but his intention was for him to comfort you, not the other way around.

“Togo.”

You, almost a little too hastily, tugged yourself from Yagi’s side. As if nothing strange had happened, you stood to your feet, and then gave the older fellow his shawl back. You didn’t know when Deputy Aizawa had approached, or how long the sneaky son of a gun had been standing there. By the look on his face, you could tell he had a certain amount of judgement and disbelief for the both of you. He didn’t have any comment, thankfully. Yagi wouldn’t look him in the eye. “I’m ready now.” You cleared your throat. Time to hold Mr. Boss-So-Roki’s hand.

III.

Ah, so you and I aren’t going to see eye to eye, boy?

It was a sick joke from a man who had no real eyes. Yagi had ripped them out from the sockets years prior when his heart was broken, and thirsty for revenge. He didn’t regret it. Men who didn’t respect this precious land didn’t deserve to ever take in its beauty.

“You smell like shit, you old fuck.” Yagi loathed to spit acid like a snake, but he deserved every shred of hate contained in his young body on that day.

The Gambler smelled like what he was made of: dirty money and brimstone and mosquito water.

What a nasty bark, you dog!

You look out of sorts, pup. Could it be that arrow you still have there? Here...let me help you pull that out.

He had liked where Yagi was. Leg mangled. Curled up on the side of the trail like road kill. The vultures were waiting; circling the sun like the grim reaper spun his scythe. That’s what the boy was after all! An animal pretending to be a righteous man.

“DON’T YOU PUT YOUR FILTHY HANDS ON ME.”

And then Yagi was screaming in agony. The Gambler pulled the arrow out nice’n slow, making sure to twist and turn the carved bone of the head into the most sensitive, spewn places. He didn’t like all the mess on his new, priceless equipment, so he found it proper to smear the blood off on Yagi’s already red, enraged face.

Shut up.

Listen very well, dog. Maybe your body can’t die here, but I hope this lesson breaks your spirit like you broke all of my bones. In stature, it was certain that The Gambler had never healed right. His body was twisted and gnarled like the lichon.

Yagi did what he had to do after the whole gruesome ordeal was over. He never, ever wanted to kill another man of his own will after that day. Uh huh…

So, did his spirit ever heal right?

It hurt his heart to try and answer.

IV.

He hated to dream. They weren’t fair. You were supposed to be able to alter your dreams; be whatever you want and do whatever you want. These were all memories he couldn’t do a thing to change. Perhaps he should have been grateful he woke up still clean, and in his own bed this morning. But at what cost…

He needed to stop thinking about it. Yagi had roped up Bell wrong for the second time since he started packing. He rubbed his mule’s neck and she affectionately bumped him on the shoulder with her nose. He didn’t like bringing her so far out from home, because she was his friend, but he had things he had to do as usual. He was going to meet you after he had his student come to watch his property for the two or three weeks you’d be gone. You needed to arrange your own trustworthy house sitter before you both began your long journey.

Yagi had been worried about you the days after the meeting, more than he should have been worried for himself. There was a lot now to consider. He was well aware that you were both lying to each other by omission. You wanted him to track the Devil. If you hadn’t taken the belt buckle back, he probably would have forgotten not to put it on. He hadn’t told you where you were both going for his part of the deal, either, or why he needed you to read. He had advised you on what to pack, and how long you’d be gone, and you just followed the instruction without question.

Did you really trust him that much? You were both traveling alone. In secret. You were lucky law enforcement only patrolled for law breakers, and didn’t go door to door every night. They couldn’t pay enough for all of that.

When he was finally able to meet you, the crown of the sun was starting to peek over the hard, flat line of the horizon. The sky was split in soft streaks of pink and orange. Pretty. There was no wind for haze. The air was still and cool. If only it could stay like this.

“Are you sure you have everything?” Yagi asked you while fixing the girth that strapped his mule to his small, travel cart. He came up to her mouth and made sure the secures there weren’t too tight. She made a quiet, but shrill sound through her nostrils. “I know you don’t like the bit. Be quiet.” The scolding was affectionate and punctuated with a kiss on her nose.

“Yes, and Kissy’s the same way. I think he tolerates it.” He wasn’t raised for riding, but he handled it well enough. Besides, he was the only horse you had.

You were sure you had all you needed. You had rolled up some provisions and plenty of water into your BaBa’s old saddle bags. You really hoped with your combined items, it was all enough. Traveling made you excited and nervous. You hadn’t been outside of town in years. You both had terrible timing, and would probably be in a heap of trouble for giving no notice of leave when you got back. Still, a potentially dangerous journey. And you’d both be alone.

“They all tolerate a lot.” Yagi shrugged his shoulders and sat up on the seat of his cart. “Let’s get moving, quickly!” He boisterously thumped his closed fist over his chest since neither of you had a rally drum or trumpet.

You wondered if the Devil would lurk the canyon. The thought of you both running into him in the dead of night, or the beast ravaging your camp made your heart jump up somewhere in your gullet. Yagi must have understood that risk, and he was still taking you to read whatever it was he wanted you to read. You could in fact translate language if you could touch the surface, but it’d been a long while since you’d done so. Most things of importance were printed in English, and a lot of folks couldn’t read no how, so they didn’t bother you.

“Yagi, do you mind telling me where we’re going?” You asked him after mounting. He took off his big brimmed vaquero hat and flipped it upside down. You could see some of your own wool stuck beneath the cap, but what interested you the most was what was embroidered to the underside: a map of the entire valley. Some parts of the thread were old and dirty, but other portions still retained the vibrancy of being freshly stabbed through. You were a little mystified.

”Up north east.” You expected Yagi to produce a compass, but he didn’t. He knew exactly where to go. He’d never been lost before.

“You’ll see, Dove. I won’t lead you astray.” He made a little beat on his chest again and grinned.

“Well...alright. I’m trusting you, sir.” You squeezed Kissy with your heels.

Yee haw! You were both off.

Yagi was puffing out smoke and steam through his nose at the sight of you. His heart was a rumbling, rolling train and he hadn’t finished pounding in all the tracks. The sun was setting in the distance. Vibrant hues from that sweet goodbye highlighted every plump curve of your naked body. When you turned in the water’s edge and brought your toned arms up above your head, your outlines rippled and writhed in a fog. You shook out your tail like a tambourine, and glistening droplets whipped around your figure.

His dry tongue lolled from the corner of his mouth. Clamoring on all fours, he was clawing the dirt and sand to make it to your mirage. You smiled at him with all your front teeth, and your pretty eyes, and then beckoned him closer with your long fingers. You were emerging from the pool; prowling to meet him halfway. Everywhere your hands and knees touched turned a luscious green.

Almost there… Come here, Come into me, Yagi.

The sun fully disappeared behind the mountains, and the storm clouds swarmed. He was stabbed with daggers of lightning. His big body and hands were all over your soft, fuzzy hide in a monstrous flash. He was pulling your legs apart because now he was long and strong for you. You clamped his waist, clawed his back, and called him by his real name while he was pumping his piston. With his rain and wind and thunder, and your good green earth, he had you. That's right, with your back down in paradise.

Just like he promised.

VI.

“UGH,” Yagi rubbed the faint cut left behind on his forehead. It stung. He had woke with a jolt and hit the side of the rocky perch he’d chosen for the night. You didn’t have a tent, so he let you have his to yourself. A woman, ugh...ow...needed her privacy. He smeared pebbled and already clotting blood on his sleeve. He hadn’t changed his stance on his own dreams.

He was glad you were paces away. It had to be that way. His excuse this time, was that he needed to be a look out for raiders and bandits. That was one thing, but really, he didn’t know when his body was going to change. Dangerous games. Dangerous thoughts. Dangerous dreams. Yagi glanced down at the personal tent pitched in his trousers. Uh...no, he wouldn’t have wanted you to see him like this.

He’d wait to calm down, water the horse and mule, and then wake you. You’d both been traveling for three days, and you had two days of long, hot, dry, travel left.

VII.

When you both finally made it to your destination, the sun was preparing to rise. Yagi was adamant about wanting to push through the night. You had taken such a long break in the afternoon, that it bled into the evening. You had wanted to go back to sleep so badly. You almost fell off of Kissy’s back twice. Yagi, while flustered and spooked, offered to change his mind on the urgency, but you told him it was alright. You just needed to wake up and put up. You were both on a tight schedule.

The clouds were rolling overhead and you wondered (hoped) that they would block the sun or consider banding together for some traveling rain, but they didn't. The trip had gone relatively pain free, it almost made you paranoid. You had to suffer somewhere, and you hoped the continued drought was it.

“Not too much further,” Yagi pushed up his hat and revealed a smile that gave the rising sun a run for its money. For a man who hadn't been sleeping much, he seemed awfully chipper. Dear lady, you had no idea how full of nostalgia he was. The familiar change in terrain gifted him fond and not so fond memories.

“Is that…” you covered a yawn “is that it?” You squinted through the sleepy tears in the corners of your eyes. In the morning haze, you could pick out blocky structures built into the side of a rock face. At another gander, you noticed some fencing holding in several huddled, sheared sheep. Thatched houses peppered the land on the other side of livestock pens and dry, unharvested crops . It didn’t look like a big, busy town, but it was certainly a settlement. It wasn’t too far off from the murky edges of the Colorado River, and the sight of that provided you even more relief. You didn’t know if you had enough water on hand to make it back to Struggler.

“This is it.” Yagi whipped the reins in his excitement and urged his mule on. She wheezed and groaned with some protest, but picked up her pace. You clicked your tongue and bumped Kissy with your heal so he could match speed. You were both kicking up a trail of dust behind you. Being somewhere new made you nervous, but the energy Yagi radiated made you feel more sure. He had his smile on full beam, belting out something incomprehensible at the top of his lungs with your mounts’ hoof-beats. That almost made you pull your draft to a hard halt. Nothing was wrong. No one was coming after the both of you, and he certainly wasn’t hurt. He was going to see his old friend again.

VIII.

There were plenty of times in your life where you felt a little out of sorts. You didn’t feel awkward exactly, just a touch shy. There was a small crowd gathering around Yagi as some reservation dwellers came to properly greet him, or see what the commotion was about. Some natives looked a little on edge, or as unsure as you did, but then the older fellow Yagi was so focused on, finished greeting the sunrise, and then approached. You figured he was probably somewhat in charge, because everyone politely made way for him, or minded themselves and went back to their early tasks. “Aa,” he was grinning from ear to ear just like Yagi was “how are you, my friend? This is a surprise!”

“I’m...well.” Yagi rubbed his neck, and then removed his hat to return the politeness.

“You made quite some noise on the way here! We were worried about a bandits,” the older man’s eyes were wrinkling around the tanned, weathered corners. He was very tall, though not nearly as tall as Yagi, and wore working clothes like the cowboys who traveled far yonder from Texas. You were amazed at the length of his graying hair. It fell behind him in a long cord, and was wrapped up in a braid with bright, crossing threads. He had a lovely, boxy, woven pattern in his shawl that you couldn’t help but eye up, too. Following the loop of his cover, there was a long scar that crossed his neck, and zig zagged down until it was hidden beneath the collar of his shirt. You knew better than to rubber neck that. Didn’t want to be rude.

You felt him sense your wondering eyes, and take a reserved look at you after allowing Yagi to exchange a bow. You were trying and failing to hide behind your big horse. His friend from another land had no one else for company, just you. His bushy brows rose. You assumed your appearance probably surprised, or tickled him. You were used to that, but he was actually assuming something else.

“Aa, this is your wife, Yagi?”

“No, no!” Yagi awkwardly laughed. “This is…” He trailed, trying to think of something that didn’t sound quite as suspicious. “My friend. I brought her here to translate something, if your clan will allow it. We won’t stay for too long, I promise.”

The fellow’s jaw slackened. He brought his hand to his chin. He looked between Yagi, who was anticipating an answer, and then you who were waiting for the same. You came all this way. You hoped that you wouldn’t get turned away and the journey would be for nothing. Whatever Yagi wanted you to read must have been important, or private, if you had to formally ask permission.

“You want to see the old messages? Don’t you?” The other man hummed.

“Yes, I...think it will help me understand.” Yagi had lowered his voice without meaning to.

“Understand what?” You cleared your throat. They were both looking at each other like there was some kind of secret afoot. If you were translating, you were going to know eventually, right? Yagi’s friend frowned at him. This young woman didn’t know? It wasn’t his place to tell you either. It was his request to offer a yes, or a no. “I’m looking to know a little more about this land’s past,” Yagi dug his cane into sand between the toes of his boots. He leaned on it a little, and then brought his still carted mule in closer with his other hand. “There’s some very old language here that a lot of Mustang’s family can’t completely read anymore. His family has been here for quite some time, many many many years,” he had turned his head in your direction while he dropped you this hint “so I’m hoping to find some warnings or helpful superstitions.”

Ah! Now you understood...sort of. You wondered what Yagi’s interest in the past was, apart from solving the mystery of the Devil, but you didn’t know him well enough to poke and prod that business just yet. Yet. It did make sense, though. More sense than what you were reading. The Devil roamed this land in particular. Should probably consult who’d been here the longest.

“You’re a scholar, young ma’am?” Mustang asked while directing you both to come into the shade and relieve your mounts. By appearances, he wouldn’t have pegged you for someone familiar with his ancient heritage, but then again, when he’d met Yagi, he was quite skeptical of what a stranger would know, too.

“No, sir, it’s my Gift. I can translate speaking and writing if I touch or focus.” You held up your palm to illustrate. His eyes lit up and he clapped his hands once, then twice.

“You’re both blessed with two gifts, then!” Mustang was smiling again. “If you can understand, we will need to accompany you to record. We would like to remember the past, and hopefully our friend here will find what he’s looking for.” Hearing about your gift looked like it was truly a delight, and that made you feel pretty damn special.

“Oh, of course, I don’t mind. I’d be happy to help as long as I get time to rest.” You were trying to wrap your head around something, but Mustang was ushering you both along to where you and Yagi could set up your tent and tether your animals. He trusted Yagi heavily, so he trusted you, if Yagi also considered you a friend in such a sensitive affair. He was already talking about giving word to his family and friends to prepare a hardy meal for Yagi’s return, and then some other things you didn’t quite catch.

You slipped back into your shy sort of self while the two fellows talked on middle ground. You were unloading some items from the saddle bags, and then in the next moment, Yagi was ushered off somewhere else. You got Kissy and Bell somewhere comfortable and in the shade at a stable near to your allotted portion of the settlement. You were thinking about how...different Yagi seemed here while you were watching from afar. He towered over their hosts, readily available to offer his help, or carry things to and fro, even on his bad leg. He cracked jokes with them, and his smile had yet to really let up. He was louder, more open, though he still minded his manners. You were almost a little envious, but you understood. Yagi and Mustang, and some of his siblings have probably known him for years. You wanted to know him like that, too, but for now, you liked that he called you his friend.

After a while of settling, they were picking out sheep for a meal in the dry wood pen paces over. They did ask you if you minded, which you found a little funny. No one here had an appearance Gift that covered their whole body quite like you, so it was the first thing anyone noticed.

Uh, sheep...lamb. You’d never had it before, and didn’t want to try. So, they offered steer, but you had to decline that, too. It just felt weird. Like unofficial cannibalism even though you only looked like an animal. “My father is a bull, and my mother is an alpaca.” You used your other gift to join hands and inform your hosts before you and Yagi had split.

You got plenty of requests to touch your hair. You were used to that, too. You came out of some of your shyness to allow some touches. It was so white, they said, whiter than bones. And soft without needing to wash it so many times. Did you shear it? Well, of course you did. It grew too fast not to. Do you trade it? Absolutely, let’s bargain.

You spurred an impromptu trading crowd without meaning to. Everyone watched in wonder as you cut off a cottony wad with your pocket knife, and a new patch of wool readily grew in its place. You had bread, and ground corn, and beads, and one young fellow who was very keen about you staying here with him if you were looking for a partner. You remembered you brought some melons full of seeds along, so you topped off that flurry with a big, beautifully loomed blanket on your arm.

When Yagi found you again, he was trying to hide a laugh behind his hand. There you were at your tent, corralling all of your new treasures and spoils. You were a tradeswoman anywhere, weren’t you?

IX.

“Yagi?” The world was dark and silent. It was hard to sleep while you were so far from your cot back at home. The canvas edges of your borrowed tent quivered with the rustle of the wind. It was kind of cold, so you were glad you had your new blanket, and some of the blankets that Yagi had given you. You did that idiot thing were you didn’t bring your own. You were afraid of losing, or messing one up. Every blanket you had was special. Even your new one.

“Yagi?” You whispered again. You could barely see his dark outline on the other side of the thick fabric. He didn’t snore, so you could never tell when he had gone to sleep.

“Yagi?” You tried one more time. Maybe he was asleep? Better not bother him. But finally he stirred. He rolled over to his other side in the dark, and then poked his head through the opening. He looked exhausted in the eyes, and full by the temporary pudge in his belly. “Are you alright?” Yagi mumbled.

You were okay, just stressed in a certain kinda way. And paranoid. You lied awake with your heart heavy with anxiousness waiting to hear it; the hiss… “I..Would you…” You stammered, heart picking up a beat now that you actually had to ask your question. “Do you think it’d be alright if you were here? If you stayed in here with me?”

Your question woke him. You could see his eyes had brightened. He held that expression while he considered his answer. There were plenty of reasons for him to decline, but oh...you were making that worried little face. He knew you were hoping that he’d say yes, so he did, and dragged the rest of himself inside. He stretched out long legs that barely fit on the inside and rested somewhere on the other side of you.

“Thank you.” You couldn’t ask him to move any closer, though you really, really wanted him to. You wanted his pleasant scent fresh and not just wafting your nose from his blankets. And you wanted him to wrap his arms around you and maybe pat you over the head right between the horns like he did from time to time. Oh good glory, would you listen to yourself? Go the hell to sleep.

Should you be touching this? It felt like you shouldn’t have been touching this. The rock surface Mustang had lead you to on horseback was high up. It took you a quarter hour to climb, and another quarter to catch your breath. Yagi had to climb after you with his head craned to the side so he wouldn’t be looking up your bare legs while your clothes were tied out of the way.You were glad the goat in you didn’t mind, otherwise this traverse would be difficult.

You were expecting writing, but you could read the cluster of rock carvings just fine. You squinted while activating your Gift. Things didn’t come together right away. It’d been so long since you’d used it this way. After another try, you finally started to understand.

A majority of the drawings and glyphs were just entrees. A documentation of the days passed. On this day, the men on horseback arrived. On this day we left to travel elsewhere. On this day the canyon was taken with floods. It wasn’t what Yagi was looking for, but Mustang was recording everything on some dried skin as you moved along.

And then, as the carvings grew older, you read out some stories. You could feel a headache brewing behind your eyes, but by now the intrigue had struck you harder, and you wanted to press on and know more.

The spider woman who taught the weaving. This one was hard to read, it was overlapped with other carvings, but Mustang told you that he was already very familiar with the tale.

The warrior with the heart of a bear. He was drawn robustly with his club leading his people to victory in a battle.

The winding serpent that made the river. It slithered and slunk down the entire length of the race face, splitting into other stories and recordings.

The story of good the meadow where the soil was fair and water plenty.

The Oasis on the other side of the sun, and her warrior protector. To you this one read the same, but it felt important. There was a buzz in your fingertips and the cogwheels in your thick skull got to turning.

You’d stopped relying the info without knowing, too. You had gone silent as the symbols stacked in your mind and made a structured narrative before your eyes. The Oasis’ protector became something beyond being a man, chasing off imps on horseback swinging their knives and shooting their guns and bringing their greed. The spirit of mother earth entered the crown of his head and made him undying. And when his job was done, and he had to leave to return to the other world, the will of the earth entered the heart of a worthy someone else, and it would be that way for forever and ever.

“Dove?” Yagi touched your shoulder. You grabbed on to him to keep from falling over and hitting your head. You blinked a few times to call yourself back to this realm. Both men were staring at you with concern in their eyes.

“You said you wanted to know something about the land? This,” you let go of the hold on your Gift so you could actually think and respond. “This one talks about the Oasis.”

XI.

“I’m glad that you’re all doing well. Very glad.” The flickering light from the dying fire fluttered over the contours of Yagi’s face. He rubbed the bags beneath his eyes, and then rubbed the skin of his arm. It was faint, but he could feel the itch and tingle; the urge to be his other self. He should have been asleep, but he couldn’t. He had even more to think about now.

“It’s because of you, you know.” Mustang took his seat with the grunt of a grouchy old man, though he held none of that in him. “If you had not come for us, we would have had to leave. We’re always going to be grateful. But now, what about you? You don’t look like you’ve been well, Friend.”

“I haven’t healed.” Yagi thumbed through his book. He’d copied what Mustang had scribbled from your readings in his own personal book; one of the ones he kept hidden beneath his bed. It was all in Japanese, since his English on paper still wasn’t the best. He’d been reading it over and over again since you returned to the settlement. It was too dark to read it now, even with the stars out.

“It doesn’t look like you have. How is your leg? And your chest?” Mustang placed his hand on his belly.

“I need to use a cane most days. Sometimes I spit up blood, but I’m still living, and that’s all I can ask for. I tend to horses’ feet now. I’m no longer in the mines.” Yagi tucked his book away in his shawl.

“Is it…?” Mustang’s eyes hastily darted over to where you were supposedly sleeping. Your eyes were closed, and your full lips gently parted with your gentle breathing. You wrapped yourself up in your new blanket, and the young weaver you bought it from couldn’t have been more flattered by how much you adored it.

“I always thought that you would have your own clan, Tall One. Young women always liked you.” He lifted his arm and flexed it as he reminisced on the old days when they were chasing off blue coats.

Yagi huffed through his nose, and then dryly laughed. “So did I, but time’s gotten away from me.” His eyes fell on you briefly. He was already asking a lot from you. The last thing on his mind was courting (even though it was absolutely one of the first things on his mind). He couldn’t let himself fall prey to whims.

“It’s not too late to not be lonely.” Mustang shook his head. “You might want to, before a younger man with more horses and more silver comes along to bargain for her hand. I can see that you like her. Your eyes are very bad at hiding your spirit.”

Yagi scrunched his nose and screwed up his expression. “I would like to, but I don’t want to hurt her. Mustang...I must tell you something.” He relaxed his face and turned on the log he sat on to properly look his old friend in the eye. There was a heaviness that settled in the pit of his chest.

Mustang held up his hand. “I’ve heard of the Desert Walker from the traders.” His brows were drawn up tight. The bags beneath his eyes were rimmed in red as the fire was on its last log. “The Desert Dweller. Desert Devil. Canyon Demon. Valley Eater. I’ve heard many, many names. We can speak of it, but there’s something else much more important that I must tell you.”

Much more important than his murdering spree?

“Toshinori,” Mustang drew in a breath “I am glad, and grieved that you’re here, because now I must tell you something I know you don’t want to hear.”

“What..what is it?” Yagi’s feet were cold in his boots. Coldness had settled over his forehead and shoulders. The muscles in all of his limbs were crawling and twitching with sheer instinct.

“You know how we’ve struggled here. How we’ve had to fight. How we almost had nothing.” Mustang bit the inside of his cheek. His bottom lip wrinkled and puckered as this news left a foul taste in his mouth and nostrils.

“Yes, I know.” They’d accepted him. His master had accepted him when he came to this side of the world with nothing but his nose, and the will to work.

“They want to bring the railroad through here. They don’t ask, they just take and assume you’ll show your belly. I smelled something in the air one day, and then a ghost appeared to me early in the morning bring in all of his evil.”

No…

No, it couldn’t be.

“I saw him die, Toshinori. I saw you slay him with my own two eyes, and the eyes I keep behind me.” He touched the closed lids hidden deep beneath his hair with his palm. “But I saw him again, and he made me my family an offer that tempted and troubled me.”

Yagi couldn’t respond if he wanted. His jaw was tensed so tightly that his temple twitched and his teeth ached. All of his tanned knuckles were white.

“He’s like a twisted root. No right arm, and walks with a cane just like you do, friend. He has money like these white men now, they think he’s one of them. He offered my family supplies, and protection if I allowed him to rip this land apart. I refused, and he simply took his leave. I think this troubles me the most.”

You had been awake and listening for a while now. You fought your instinct to adjust your position, but you remained still and kept your breathing slow. You were glad you didn’t snore. That would have been hard to fake. What were they talking about? Or rather, who?

Yagi took deep breaths through his flared nostrils. Just the mention of Him set his blood on fire. His stench wasn’t in the air tonight, but it was burned into his most vivid memories. Dirty money, and brimstone, and worm water, and rotting. A thief, a cheater, a liar, and a gambler. The real demon of the desert had no heart, and no real eyes, and he thought he could own anything like he boasted he could own anything, anyone, and any Gift.

“Perhaps, old friend, there’s still work to be done.”

He still had a promise to keep. To do what this world asks of him in return. And then maybe, just maybe he could keep the promise he made to you.

“I think...I think so.” Yagi rubbed the writhing out of his arms and the prickle from the pores of his scalp. He had to try and hold it in, but he was angry. After all the blood and guts, and the skin of his teeth; putting his body on the line. Adaka’i was still carrying on his business.

And Yagi wondered what business it was. Somewhere in the desert…

XII.

The fire was gone.The world was dark and quiet again on the other side of your closed eyes. There were no hushed voices to listen to, just a bunch of sheep who should have been sleeping, too. So, you crawled back on the inside of Yagi’s tent to dream before you had to head back to Struggler tomorrow. Your head was so heavy and tired. Tired from growing all of that wool, tired from showing off the shapes you could make with your horns, tired from doing all of that reading, tired from doing all of that thinking.

Could you really call this dreaming, though? This was just shameless hoping and wishing. You still wanted Yagi to hold you, and pat your head, and tell you that you were silly. He wasn’t far from where you were, not physically. He came to rest beside you in the tent after Mustang and his little wife had wished him goodnight.

You hoped and wished that he’d bring you up to his chest and let you sleep with your faces close. You hoped and wished that he’d fancy giving you a kiss, too. And you hoped and wished he’d kiss you in places the Devil kissed you. Your body opened your eyes for you before you could get too carried away in that distant land. You were greeted with the dark, and the slow rise and fall of Yagi’s long, bony side.

The Devil...whoever he really was. You wondered if he was looking for you, or if you should even be thinking of him. What were you supposed to think of him? A lover? A monster? A murderer? A demon to sit on your chest? Or a vengeful spirit? You couldn’t have them both, and one stallion was stronger than the other, you knew that for sure. If you were with Yagi, would the Devil finish the job? You just didn’t know. You shouldn’t have been thinking about it now. You were just making your headache worse.

Or maybe you should have. You read for Yagi, sweet, handsome, Yagi, and now it was his part of the bargain.

Without thinking (you were good at that), you pushed yourself up from where you lay and crawled over to Yagi. His breathing changed, so you knew he was awake, but he didn’t move. You were holding your breath as you relocated yourself up against his back. Your cheek pressed against his shoulder. It was kind of hard, like you were expecting, but he was warm and he always smelled crisp. You were almost blue, expecting him to turn over and ask you what you were doing at any moment, but he still didn’t move.

You felt him relax. He was asleep again, and so were you curled up close like a house cat behind him.

#all might #toshinori yagi #all might x reader #DESERT DEVIL

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swayinghummingbirds · 6 years ago

Text

i feel like i need to blog more stuff out of me to research my own thoughts ignore me or help me either is welcomed.

so like i was diagnosed with mdd , panic/anxiety disorder so i know how it goes and how it feels and all that jazz. used to be on medication and not for almost two years. i can usually cope well since while i was on medication ifound many ways to do so. but now ive come across season affective disorder and i gotta say i am not a fucking fan. i cant bring myself to do the coping mechanisms because im fucking cold and there is no sun ever.

this time last year i felt the exact same way and almost moved back to fl but didnt want to give up on tn yet. but im wondering is it maybe time to give up on it? i have no family here. and my family is expanding and growing without me. which makes it worse.

ive been where i am for almost a year now and its been good. but there are no sidewalks like anywhere? im so tired of sharing walls. sure, its a townhouse and its pretty big and two floors and fire place but my neighbors are so annoying and for some reason in tennessee so many people think its absolutely okay to let their dogs out with leashes?

knoxville is a really cool city and ive loved living here but idk if i can stand the winter. and its just a mild winter, idk how yall in the north handle it. i see now why when i moved abck to pa for 8 months my mom had it by the time march came around and we moved back to fl.

a part of me feels like i might even just get bored with where i am after a certain amount of time considering how i was brought up. i have moved 17 times, which is wild for a child. probably why i have a hard time making friends too.

tried leaving work yesterday after i got my list done (usually isnt a problem for my manager but the ass. manager always fights me with it). i told him three times i already had 2 1/2 hours of overtime and ill be leaving when im finished but bitch never listens to me and acts like he didnt hear me say it to his damn face.Usually i ask just to be polite and make sure but this time im telling him. kind of snapped on him because the day before i just cried all fucking day and had that feeling in my stomach and felt the same way when i woke up. old me would have called out, one because the position i was in was easily fillable but now im actually needed so i go to do my job and if i get done early that means im working my ass off and sweating like a pig to get done three hours early. (and the girl who does the work on the two days im off never gets the shit down or sets the room or anything up in order to have a good morning because the whole thing is very time sensitive and its very frustrating. also she called out like three times this week and made my week shittier than it needed to be.) like bitch no that doesnt mean i want to stay and help with other things after exerting so much energy that i dont even have in myself to begin with. so anyways i cried and then the manager came and talked to me and was understanding because he is aware of my mental health issues and i forgot steve- the ass manager (assistant manager , but also ass because he can be an ass) was not aware. so all in all i talked to my manager and told him and he was very supportive and then i went to apologize to steve and he reassured me i was valued and adored here which was nice. and i had to basically tell him if im trying to leave early it usually means because im feeling like a crazy bitch whos on the break of a mental breakdown so. quit fighting me.

so anyways.

even if i did move back fl ive finally gotten myself where i wanted to be in my job but i guess if it was meant to be the universe will take care of it just like it did when we moved here.

a week before almost moving back to fl my grandparents came to visit and we were in crossville, which is the half way point from here to where we were living at the time and i was like hey lets try knoxville and the next day we went to look at apartments and as we were looking this place went up for rent almost as if the universe here, ask and you shall receive. because i was only looking at places that was in between the three stores that we could have possibly transferred to because i had no idea which one it was going to be i just new it was going to happen. and then when trying to transfer we my fiancees assistant manager knew the manager at this store here and said that he would take both of us and needed help in the area i wanted to be in and i was like wow amazing its all working out. and it did and it was great and then it got cold. and then holidays came. and birthdays came. and i ive learned so much about myself and i feel like yes i needed this part of my life. and now im not sure if istill need it.

we have a vision of owning a little home a nice big plot of land near the mountains with a spring and creek on site with woods around. if we kept it up and really searched when the time came yeah im feel like we could find it. but what if i still feel this way when were there? then weve bought a home and it would be harder to get rid of. i have a vision of my own business with yoga. i find myself in capable of moving between the months of decemeber and march. then what. even when i get on to the mat i cant get into the flow.

and what if we move back to fl. would he resent me for giving up on our dreams? will i be tired of people demanding my time and energy? will i bitch about the heat all the time and the fact that neighbros are every where? probably, yes, yes, and yes.

but will i resent him for not moving back to spend our lives with our families? will i resent myself for not listening to the feeling in my stomach? or would i resent myself if i did listen to that feeling and gave up on the mountainous dreams.

i know we would welcomed back with opened arms and i know not many would miss us here.

the mountains are beautiful and so mystical when there. i wonder how it would be to live there. i always end up feeling so creeped out at some point of hikes because i feel like something is watching us, and i know there is, there is always is whether its and animal or a spirit. but sometimes those spirits, or beings, are just so strong of a force. what if we bought a property with one of those that wouldnt be able to make peace with us? i always imagined if we ended up with a property with strong entities then we would make peace and ring singing bowls and plant luscious plants for them. but what if they hate it all. and what if our neighbors down the street end up being cannabilistic cult people? what if some animal tried to maul my dog (which already happens frequently, shes a chihuahua everything is out to get her). what if something happens at oak ridge? i had no idea i was living next to a giant nuclear power plant thing.

but then its like okay what if theres a giant hurricane that tears my house down (i had a tree fall on my house during matthew which is one reason why we left) or the storm sturge sweeps my house away. trey is scared of tsunamis, not that one has happened there probably ever, idk but it is a weird fear of his. surprisingly tornados do happen in tn too.

and a day like today, where trey is working all day and i have the day off. there isnt much to do. its cold out so i cant sit on my patio for a few hours like i would in the summer. i dont like to go shopping. i dont have a friend to hang out with, which is my own fault people im really not a big people person. i have hung out with a couple a few tiems, and idk ij ust would rather not. but if i were in fl i could go hang out with my brother, or treys sister, or the few friends i have there. or go to the beach and sit on my own, because its not fucking weird to sit alone there and usually you dont have to worry about getting mugged. i cant go to the parks here on my own. i cant take my dog for walks around here because there are no side walks and people just look shady af everywhere.

when i went to visit for my brothers wedding in october i realized how i did not appriciate the plant life naturally around all year round when i lived there for 11 years. i guess mostly because it wasnt until two years ago that i really got in to plants but omg i cant stop imagining what our yard would look like if we were in aplace where things could just be outside all year round. i would take cuttings of my plants andjust put them every where have my own little tropical paradise in my front and back yard.

i know this all is really sounding one sided atm but this time last year i was having the exact same visions and the exact same thoughts. and i thought about how what if my brother has kids and im up here well hello here we are now and thats happening. i feel like i need to be there. theres even a house for sale on the same street as him and all i could was fantasize what i would do to the house and how i would baby sit for them and be able to see my dog that i left with him because ultimately she was is but we co owned her together and just to be there. and be with my mom. shes living in orland with her boyfriend and i feel like the fact shes goingt o be a grandmother might sway him into moving closer, she hates the city and i imagine shes just as depressed as i am to be away and to be in a city where you dont feel safe to go outside alone. we are creatures of nature and both pisces and very sensitive to everything.

and what if trey and i have a baby at some point? we have no one here to help us. i was thinkg about how our wedding date is a year and like two months away and i have no one here to help me plan. and for a long itme i always imagined myself getting married at this place called sugar mill gardens, a botanical garden that i had always loved in my home town there. when trey and i got together we would pokemon go there and take clippings, and i still have those plants today. but then this new vision came where we would get married on our future property. i feel like we are still a long way away from buying a house here though. idk if we would be there in time. and since we went back in october all i can think about is getting married in sugar mill. he reproposed to me when we were there and that was so sweet and just made me want to be there instead for it.

this is very long but these are my constant thoughts that all happen at once and it feels nice to get them out to piece them together and not feel so overwhelmed with all them at one time in layers upon layers of thoughts. sometimes my vision even goes out and i dissociate and just work blurred vision cross eyed for ten minutes, who knows maybe its an hour. im back there by myself for eight hours a day idk.

#v long #nothing to see here #sorry for clogging your dash #idk how to break it

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