#like ive known for a long time that i wouldnt be able to keep working here forever bc of my like. condition

[liferetainsitssparkle]

OH YEAH yesterday at work my dept manager told me the guy who worked inventory last summer while online orders didnt have hours (insane because that dept is always absolutely choked with work) is coming back to us bc orders dont have hours again but im STILL on eight hour weeks it is 100% personal my store managers are all fucking babies who won't just fire me already

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Ah yes. The Big Charity Gala. One of the biggest in Gotham every year. Danny forgets the technical name for it. He's been so busy with the talons and the court of owls that the date has snuck up on him. He really should get a filter set up in wayne manor before they host such a big event.

But he knows his shenanigans are pushing Batman's limits. He doesn't want to break the poor guy, and while danny is confident his ghost powers could carry him through the manor without triggering its security, Bruce doesnt need to be more stressed out by finding more devices he doesnt trust in his own home days before a big event.

So, he'll ask red robin and spoiler to accompany him. That way, they'll know what he's doing every step of the way and be able to watch where he places each of the filters.

Mischief: so there's that Big Charity Gala coming up, that wayne manor is hosting?

Red robin: what about it?

Muichief: ive already identified wayne manor as an ecto hot spot. I'd like to set up some filters there before the party cause i think everyone who attends would benefit. But i dont want mr wayne thinking im another gotham rogue planning some dasdardly scheme, ya know?

Spoiler: i can already see that this is gonna be a hard sell.

Red robin: literally all you do is scheme.

Mischief: but they arent DASDARDLY schemes! My schemes cause maximum chaos and minimum damage.

Mischief: And mr wayne is too much of a golden retriever to be an entertaining target.

Mischief: and im pretty sure he's single handedly keeping gotham from falling into financial ruin with all the charity work he does. I dont want to interrupt that.

Spoiler: phhht, you had me at Big Charity Gala. Whatever your planning, i want in.

Red robin: fuck it. Im in too. Tell me everything, and we'll get you into wayne manor to set up.

This was all over chat of course, because danny didnt think he could call batman a golden retriever with a straight face. With that out of the way, he just had to get ready to actually *attend* the gala. Cant crash (affectionate) a party without attending, right?

It would be pretty interesting to see how many people show up, though. With half of gotham's elite arrested for connections to the Court, and half of the rest having long since flown the coop to escape arrest, it was probably a good thing that this charity event was known for being open invitation. Anyone up to the dress code and able to pay the entrance fee could attend.

Danny had free access to Pariah's coffers, so that wasnt an issue. He just had to pull out some earth-origin jewelry and give the stuff a bath in blood blossom extract to remove any lingering ecto-signature, then sell it in gotham's thriving black market for cash to pay the tailor and the entrance fee.

Shame that sam wouldnt make it in time. Danny enjoyed attending galas with her and all the games they played to keep themselves entertained.

Lady gotham had also given danny a pearl necklace with explicit instructions to give to bruce. He had it wrapped and signed from Lady Gotham because he didnt want to risk touching and accidentally tampering with that death echo. There was far too much love and protection wrapped up in those pearls which was desperate to reach their orphaned son. Martha deserved to have her dying message sent.

He still wasnt sure how to deliver the gift. He was half tempted to sneak it into bruce's office to find later, bat paranoia be damned.

Crack prompt: Danny has declared war on the curses in Gotham. He is armed with a water balloon gun, but the balloons are full of medical-grade ectoplasm. He targets any location, ghost, or liminal being tainted by curses and/or corrupted ecto - absolutely drenching them before yeeting off again.

This includes the Bats. Danny is smart about it, though. He lived in Gotham for several months before acting, so he could get the lay of the land. He also waits for patrol to be finished before hitting the Bats - he doesn't want to interrupt their Quest to Better Gotham (or be labeled an invader to their haunt).

One night, Danny happens upon Batman patrolling alone and waits for him to finish cleaning up a crime scene before hitting they guy with a half-clip of balloons. Batman gives chase, like he always does, and Danny runs, like he always does. He knows by now that, for whatever reason, Crime Alley is off limits to Batman. The whole alley just gives off "no (other) bats allowed" vibes.

Red hood is just more territorial. Whatever.

At any rate, Danny is enjoying the chase, using just enough ghost powers to stay ahead of batman, almost-but-not-quite taunting him. Crime Alley isn't too far, so instead of turning invisible around a corner like he usually does, he makes his way to the Alley to see if the no-trasspassing rule is enough to stop Batman mid-chase. He leaps across rooftops and weaves through fire escapes, ecto-balloon-gun bouncing by its strap against his back, until finally he's at the border, slightly tapping into flight to make the jump across a slightly wider road into the alley proper.

He turns around immediately, spotting Batman skulking on the rooftop on the other side of the road, stopping the chase and suit half-covered in healing ectoplasm.

"Sanctuary!" Danny yells, pumping his fists in the air from getting caught up in the exciting rush of adrenaline, "I claim sanctuary!"

"Who the fuck is claiming sanctuary in my territory?" Red Hood booms from almost directly behind Danny. He would have yeeted out of his own skin from surprise if he hadn't spent years honing his ghost-fighting instincts. As it was, Danny instead whirled around and emptied the clip of balloons into Hood, purely out of reflex.

Hood stood there, drenched in ecto like his fellow Bat one rooftop over, glaring murder at Danny with glowing eyes. But his haunt betrayed Hood's true emotions.

Surprise, concern, impressed, you-little-brat.

Danny booked it to the fire escape and turned invisible the second he was out of sight.

[hard--mode]

Here's the notes for everything that would happen up until the end of the story.... as far as I had it figured out. You'll notice things are a lot less fleshed out the later things go. That's a big reason why this never got finished. the longer I tried to keep the thing running, the more I realized I never had any idea what I wanted to actually DO with this story which made it pretty hard for me to keep up. it's hard to write a story you're trying to take seriously if all you really have are jokes, it turns out.

I haven't reread any of this or edited it at all so who knows what kind of notes I might have written in between things haha

P: so as i was saying about undyne-

C: who’s undyne?

Everyone freezes. Chara just walked right up to papyrus without being noticed. Paps freaks out for a sec before he pulls sans into a huddle. Chara frowns and tries to peek around.

~Montage of papyrus’s excitement and harder puzzles, death montage

~Junior jumble: its sudoku now

Chara’s doing puzzles and sees flowey spying. They shout him over

C: HEY! still following me, loser? Don’t you have anything better to do? (but they smile)

F: somebody’s gotta make sure you don’t get killed too much out here

Flowey pops up closer to them

C: nah, I’m fine! I’ve got that reset power!

F: not for long considering how much you use it (mumbles. Rolls eyes??) (some depiction of chara dying a lot in the bg)

C: by the way…. In the ruins you were telling me to use it… care to tell me more about it since you seem to know so much?

F: I-... uh… well you already know the most of it. It just resets you back to your last SAVE point like nothing happened. Only beings with a powerful SOUL can use it, so monsters with their weak souls can’t.

Chara stops their puzzle work and sits to even the heights: Can flowers?

F: what the heck are you-... oh, no no no. I’m different.

C: so you have the power too.

F: No! I mean-, i used to before you came around. Yeah.

C: so you’ve done resets. (urging him on)

F: yep.

Chara waits a while: ...thats all you have to say?

F: yep

Travel scenes from here on out depict chara and flowey together

Gauntlet:

Flowey remarks that he doesn't remember a save point being before it. Chara goes along and gets paps’ bit. He does to activate it

C: wait this isn't for real right? U can't be srs!!!

P: yeah I am, this is hard mode!

Just show chara repeatedly spawning at the save and running back in with flowey watching them

Then cut to the end chara on the other side of it panting and exhausted, papyrus shocked but also beaming

P: wow you did it!! I'm so proud of u human! I didn’t think you would actually be able to get through it--- I mean- drat! Foiled again! I'll get u one of these times!

Papyrus runs off and Chara watches him with a look of wonder in their eyes.

F: don’t get too excited. his pride is cheap, he’s proud of everyone and every thing

Chara grumbles and marches forward: whatever. I don’t hear you saying you’re proud of me, so why do I have to listen to what you have to say

F: You know, you’re gonna have to fight him soon. Didn’t sans say so? What are you going to do then, die over and over until you give up or are you going to try to murder him just like you did with Toriel? :)

C: I am not! I’m gonna talk him out of it and go right past him like everyone else. Who knows! Maybe he won’t even fight me because he’s that cool. Even if he does, he’s probably a wimp anyways.

F: I wouldn’t be so sure! I bet you don’t stand a chance.

C: shut up! Quit following me if you’re gonna be this useless.

Paps fight

As papyrus carries their body to the shed to rest. Opens on their vision returning and they see their hands hanging toward the ground.

C: why didn’t you kill me? You’re stronger than everyone else, you could easily do it. Why dont you finish me off so everyone can leave or whatever it is you need me to do? Why did you hold back?

P: OH! YOU’RE AWAKE!

C: you held back…

P: OF COURSE i DID! I COULD NEVER KILL YOU, YOU’RE MY-- I HOPE I’M NOT BEING TOO FORWARD, BUT I LIKE TO THINK OF YOU AS MY FRIEND! AND EVEN THOUGH WE DO NEED YOUR SOUL, YOU DESERVE A FIGHTING CHANCE TO DO… WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE TRYING TO DO.

Chara is too shocked and confused by the sentiment: I don’t… I don’t understand?

P: WHAT’S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT A FRIEND NOT KILLING YOU? HUMANS ARE SO STRANGE ...OH! I SEE NOW! THE REASON WHY YOU CARRY YOUR KNIFE LIKE THAT. IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE MORE AFRAID OF US MONSTERS THAN WE COULD EVER BE OF YOU!

He sets them down in the shed on the dog bed.

P: I’M SORRY, HUMAN! I WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU MORE WARNING IF I HAD KNOWN HOW YOU FELT.

C: then… does that mean you’re going to let me go?

P: ABSOLUTELY NOT! I ALREADY CALLED UNDYNE TO MEET ME SO SHE CAN TAKE YOU! AND YOU NEED TO REST NOW AFTER ALL THAT!

C: !! I-I don’t know who Undyne is, but I can’t do that. I’m in a hurry to get out of here.

P: HMM… IF YOU’RE IN A HURRY THEN… NO, NO YOU CAN’T! WE NEED YOUR SOUL, I CAN’T JUST LET YOU LEAVE. UNDYNE’S REALLY COOL TOO, YOU’LL LIKE HER!

C: No, I have to go.

P: AGH, WELL… I SUPPOSE IF YOU CAN GET PAST ME BEFORE I CAN CATCH YOU, THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO. BUT I WON’T GO EASY ON YOU!

Cut to chara walking toward waterfall, papyrus calling after them to come back and hang out sometime. They keep walking and mutter to themself: Sorry, but I’ll get out of here before that ever happens.

WATERFALL

They see monster kid and side eye sans as they charge in, hurriedly.

Chara keeps flowey around and asks him to read the words for him. FLowey says it’s not important at all to anything they’re doing. It’s just monster history junk that means nothing if chara’s trying to leave. Chara’s like shut up cmon help me out maybe there's clues. FLowey reads some history stuff in waterfall treating it like shit they already know

F: why do you care about all this garbage anyway?

C: I dunno, I guess it just sounds familiar. Like a story I heard a long time ago.

Chara stops suddenly and checks their phone. Flowey asks what’s up

C: i thought it rang… you didn’t hear-

The phone starts ringing. Papyrus is cheerfully on the other end and they walk and talk.

He tells them about how he heard so many horrible things about humans and the surface but chara was much nicer than he ever expected. Chara asks where he heard that and he says a flower told him. Chara covers the receiver and looks around for flowey, suspicions of him raised.

Montage w monster kid and umbrella

Chara falls from undyne’s spear attack and wakes up in the trash with flowey over them.

F: hey, wake up. I can tell you’re not dead so hurry up and get moving.

Chara’s kind of bummed: she killed me four times back there. And it wasn’t even a fight. I couldn’t talk her down or… i couldn’t even talk to her, I could barely see her.

F: what, are you giving up or something? You know she can kill you as much as she wants and you aren’t gonna die.

C: I know that! I know this is just like a game where you can keep on going but… it hurts. And it’s exhausting.

F: what will you do then? Sit here in this trash and do nothing?

C: *sigh* no. I’m just feeling down in the dumps.

They smile and get up.

As they’re walking out, they hear a click and someone to tell them to “hold it”

Mad dummys behind them and she just has a gun. Pointed directly at chara. She starts on her thing about the cousin and then blook saves the day.

Chara meets up with blook again. They go to where the snail races used to be. It’s all busted and unused

C: what’s this supposed to be…?

B: oh…. this used to be a snail farm…. And this was a race course…. For snails…. But a long time ago people started to call the races “insensitive” so we had to close them…. Sorry you can’t have any fun racing snails…

C: why was it insensitive…?

B: ...i’d… rather not talk about it………..

Timeskip

C: hey flowey! What’s up with this place and snails?

F:...i wouldnt know.

montage

After waterfall where undyne says how many souls they have

C: flowey… if they have 6 human souls, that means 6 others fell down and died here, so…

F: what?

C: i just- i mean you were the first one i met-

F: no, no, no, ive never killed anyone. You’re the only human i’ve seen since i woke up

Chara relaxes: ok. So you dont know anything about them.

F: no. i heard some things from toriel, not much. It’s too late to try asking her, but she’s seen all of them. She was there at the beginning even.

C: the beginning?

F: you know…. When humans started falling down here and monsters started killing them.

Chara goes silent in thought: wait… how… long has this been going on? How old is toriel?

F: dunno

Chara after having a rough time: it’s hard, but no matter what happens i can just keep trying. I’ll make it out of this! You believe in me right, flowey?

F: no i think you should give up.

Page/chapter ends there. Next is chara going up to fight undyne.

Open on a riff on the “long ago” cutscene that chara cuts off by saying they already know this story

Undyne screams SHUT UP!!! I’m doing my HEROIC MONOLOGUE!! Whatever, I bet you haven’t heard the part about the King and Queen’s human child who died of illness and their other son who was killed by the humans when he tried to return their body to the surface?!

C: No I think I heard that one too? Why are you telling me all this anyways??

U: because this is an UNSKIPPABLE CUTSCENE!! NYAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!

Chara’s getting their ass beat and on low hp: I’ll die in a hit or two. But that’s fine because I’ll just start this over. I’ll start from… where was the last save point…

A vision of them with flowey. Their eyes go red and the flashback cuts in between shots of them running from undyne

F: I think you should give up

Ch: what… give up?? I thought you were on my side with all the telling me to keep going and-and the hanging out with me?!

F: as if you had any other choice but to keep going! We both know you don’t.

C: so you’ve just been following this whole time waiting for me to give up and die, huh?! Why, are you trying to steal my soul just like everybody else?!?

F: it doesn’t matter how hard you try, you’re going to die! And die and die and die! You can reset as much as you want, it won’t change that! So what if I am waiting for you to give up? You’re the last thing keeping monsters trapped down here. If you give up, you’ll give everyone what they want!

C: I thought you wanted to help me?! I thought you were my friend!

F: I would never be friends with a human! You’re all nothing but killing machines!

C: I haven’t killed anyone!

F: You killed Toriel! No number of resets can change what you did! You’re a horrible, disgusting human just like all the others and everyone would be happier if you were dead!

Flowey could say something about dying down here is better than their inevitable death on the surface. Their death would at least be worth something. Mean something

Chara escapes the fight, undyne collapses, and they walk away. they tell themselves they won’t give up. They don’t need help, especially not from that dumb flower. They’ll live to spite him and everyone else who tries to kill them

Chara goes in and meets alphys and overall is p meh abt it bc bad mood. Alphys helping them through the underground makes them talk to themselves about how they dont need flowey, they can do this themself. Friends are no good.

hotland is as normal. probably figure out some indication of things not right. make the game seem broken bc they arent supposed to get so far like this

Chara meets with sans at mtt resort for food reluctantly. Lets him say his piece. After he’s done threatening to kill them chara says to his face that they really don’t like him.

Need some hubbub about them having to kill asgore to get out. Theyll be like yeah I know that (somehow)... oh but I need a plan… how will i come up with a plan..

Flowey finally appears to chara again just before they get to new home and tries to talk them out of leaving. Disparaging the surface and telling them they could live happily down here. Chara says no, it’s too hard because people are constantly hunting them down and being the last soul, no ones going to stop that. He says that he’s sorry for the way he was before

Chara smiles back, and then looks away: What you said before… about.. My inevitable death on the surface…

F: that was… don’t worry about that.

C: are you afraid of it?

F: well- yeah, it’s a dangerous place. Everyone knows that.

C: I’ve died a lot more times down here than I ever did up there.

A beat

C: you go back and forth a lot between talking about how I should stay down here because it’s better… but also if I die down here… everyone gets to go free… to the horrible, awful surface.

F: uh,, did I say all that…? I may have contradicted myself a little… I guess… in the end I just wanted an excuse for you to stay around. I really don’t want you to die.

C: so you did see me as a friend after all?

F: well…you reminded me of someone who was my friend. I wish we could have been friends.

C: Do you think… If I reset back to the beginning and did this again, if I said the right things… we could have been?

F: No… You could be as nice to me or as mean to me as you want. No matter how many times you reset, some things never change.

C: ...Did you ever… have to reset because you killed someone?

F: ……….once… and then I never reset ever again. The power to reset… makes you do bad things. It’s wrong. I had to stop because i knew… I’d make someone really upset if I kept messing around.

C: well, in that case… I guess I’ll just have to get the rest of the way out of here without any resets!

Flowey smiles: I dunno, keep one or two under your belt. You’re a pretty big klutz.

C: Thanks for helping me out of here, flowey. Even if you just did it because you were begged.

Can you imagine a more paranoid flowey who is less interested in attacking you and regaining the reset ability, but is pleased af that you have the reset ability because that means you can't die, and instead he spends the entire game trying to convince you that humanity is hopeless. That there is nothing on the surface world returning to. That it's safer, down here.

he's part of the reason why things are so much harder

he's the one that starts the rumors about the dangers of teh surface world

there's a definite sense of paranoia all across the board

When they approach new home, flowey appears one last time and grabs chara by the hand, telling them not to go. They can live in the underground, they’ve made a lot of friends here. Chara says that they have to go, they’ll find a way to get out without killing asgore. Flowey says that he tried to stop them, this is as far as he’ll go. This is goodbye. They bid their farewells and chara goes along, but flowey secretly follows them, much less detectable than ever before. It’s revealed when he’s hiding with the flowers.

Chara walks up to new home, regarding it as a vaguely familiar sight. They walk down the many halls knowing exactly where to go. The monsters speak as they go through the motions. They find a cookbook in the kitchen with a page for snail pie missing. Chara mumbles about already knowing the story and that they should all shut up. They walk more quickly to stay ahead of them. Then one mentions the snail pie and chara stops dead in their tracks. No that’s not how it happened- they stop, and take back off.

They are stopped by sans in the judgement hall, glaring at him.

S: well I had a whole speech to give ya, but you look like you’re in a hurry. You’re a weird kid, but you’re fine. The king’s up ahead.

OTHER alternative: chara realizes something’s wrong and runs back to get everyone, probably threatening to kill asgore to convince them to come quickly. Sans is avoided due to the mob approaching behind them “I heard the word that you’re on your way to kill the king.” c: are you here to stop me? “Nah. But you’d better have a good plan to back yourself up, kid. King’s up ahead”

They run up to asgore, no nonsense. Some time is taken to progress things. As they leave the throne room, flowey watches from the flowers, chara looks back to confirm he’s there.

Asgore draws up the souls, the fight is about to engage, before he can smash “MERCY” chara yells: ASRIEL. Get the souls.

Everything stops. Flowey is behind them, stunned and confused. Chara turns and asks him what he’s waiting for. Hurry up and take the souls before everyone else gets here. Nearly every last monster is coming, if he can become godlike and absorb them, it will be enough strength to break the barrier.

Flowey is confused, how do they know that? Chara tells him he did it before. Doesn’t he remember? Doesn’t he remember them?

Either flowey does it and something happens, or flowey waits too long and chaos erupts which gets them killed, and then chara and flowey have to meet up and workshop.

Final fight:

He probably says some shit about frisk and how he cant lose frisk again, chara must insist that theyre not frisk. When they say their name is chara, he hesitates for only a moment. Finally, when chara’s pinned and about to seriously die…

C: you remember it now too, don’t you? It took me a while, I couldn’t remember a thing until i started hearing your name around. You’re an all powerful god now, you should be able to remember it all better than me

A: shut up.

C: would frisk want us to fight like this?! Would frisk want you to kill your own sibling?!

A: c-.... You’re… you’re really chara?

He lets them go

They reach the conclusion that frisk messed with everything and put them here with no memories so they could do something frisk could never do. Frisk thinks they deserve to live, no matter how much the two may disagree. They have to play along. Asriel is a god and can use his powers to break the barrier and bring EVERYONE back to life so they can live together happily.

go to final fight and everyones already there, things are very confused, flowey takes the souls and things glitch out (screen phases between bosses) and chara realizes this isnt how things are supposed to be, tells asriel theyre sorry for their baggage but he doesnt understand bc he isnt theirs, and then they gotta find frisk somehow

OR... they realize things in the speech and don't go to fight asgore bc theyre finding flowey... they feign fighting asgore and then suddenly tell flowey to take the souls("Asriel! get the souls!" and thats the first time they call him by name)...? i like that a bit better. they start going on about crazy shit that makes roided out flowey kind of lose it at them which leads to them apologizing to their own asriel but then realizing they need to find frisk

but HOW do they find frisk

The end shows chara asriel and frisk hugging eachother, all alive and well. Then the two are “processing…” and remember that oh, theyve done some dark messed up stuff.

[projectshadovv]

Thoughts on shadamy? Or how you see the potential behind their dynamic? 🥺👉👈

gosh i havent thought that much about shadamy in awhile!! i was REALLLLY into it tho, just as much as i was into sonamy, like i honestly couldnt decide which i liked more.

(under read more cause once again i am Just Talk Talk Talk)

obviously now sonshadamy is the way

but ok well, i think i ship them more platonically firstofall (tho im not against romantically, we just haven't seen them together that many times? i would LOOOVE more interaction with them) and she'd be really good for helping him open up more about his thoughts and feelings, encourage him to be kind and thoughtful. people like to say that Sonic is a lot like Maria, and maybe they are similar!- Maria never got the chance to be adventurous or active though, and in SA2, Amy clearly reminded Shadow of Maria just as he was about to watch Earth be destroyed. She reminded and showed Shadow the actual meaning in Maria's words, what she wanted for Shadow and thats how he was able to save the world.

Amy's a really 'get into her feelings' kind of person and i can see her and Shadow having a few arguements and disagreements and lack of communication and understanding between them. It would def be really rocky at first (while Sonic on the other hand, just *understands* Shadow and leaves him be if needed, or confronts him directly and straight to the point). It would take a long time for Amy to really understand Shadow who's a closed door, and Amy's a open book and maybe that scares Shadow. He doesnt understand someone like her, who is so selfless and kind and lends a helping hand to anyone in need, and maybe he hates being on the other hand of that dynamic- he sees it as being weak, and Amy could teach him that theres bravery in kindness.

On a happier note tho, some activities i can see them enjoying together. Clearly Amy cant keep up with him in combat or speed, but she has a good endurance, and i can see her taking him out shopping or to local game arcades, or maybe help him with gardening. he grumbles and complains at the thought of being around people and doesnt like the center of attention but i think he'd think the experience is worth it

In battle, he'd be pretty annoyingly worried about Amy, she's not as strong or skilled as him and Sonic, or as elusive and cunning as Rouge- and you know, he wouldnt wanna lose someone close to him a second time, so he'd prob jump in front of Amy all the time and Amy would get soooo pissed off at him and theyd just get into a yelling match in the middle of the battlefield and everyone else is just face palming and its sooo awkward for everyone.

Finally, sonic who's known amy like his whole life, assures Shadow that shes more than capable of taking care of herself. Yes she was the damsel in distress in the past, but she's gotten stronger, not only for her friends but for herself and he's seen the improvement. it takes a lot of convincing to calm Shadow and so maybe he tries to work together more as a team with her. He's not used to that, so he'll still mess up and still try to get the most enemies defeated, but thats because he wants all the glory. it's still kinda annoying to Amy but he's trying i suppose!

Or maybe I'm giving Shadow too much credit, maybe he leaves Amy by herself TOO much, leaves her to fend for himself, refuses to work as a coordinated team. He's always worked alone, and when he doesn't its with Rouge, and its more like theyre fighting alone but together- if that makes sense. This irritates Amy cause 'arent we friends? friends look out for each other' and he'd be like, ive always been able to look out for myself' and she'll say 'yes but not all of us are Ultimate Lifeforms like you. What's all your power and strength for if not used to protect those who need you?' and once again she reminds him of Maria's promise. She's really good at humbling him and gently or harshly putting him back in his place depending on whats going on.

Amy of course finds herself stumped from time to time and goes to Rouge a lot for advice, to which Rouge is happy to help but says sometimes its best to leave things alone as she's learned to do when it comes to Shadow. Rouge is kinda relived too, now that Amy's trying to take over as some sort of caretaker for Shadow. Takes some of the stress out of the older girl's hair. Amy can't leave things alone though and just pushes and pushes Shadow until he snaps at her and lets her have it. It sucks but at least he's communicating. Again, Amys not one to back down and tells him that what he does hurts her and his friends. Shadow grumbles that he doesnt care but he doooes when it comes to Rouge and Amy, and eventually learns that to have the girls stop pestering him is to just *tell them* what hes thinking or feeling. He learns its just easier to do that than have them bothering him for days and days.

this is a lot of "amy makes shadow a better guy" so let me think of how Shadow helps Amy for once, okay so obvs i think he'd be up to sparring with her on a lower level to help her advance her skills. She becomes a much stronger fighter. Since she doesnt have the speed he or Sonic does, he teacher her to put all she has into her Piko Hammer, helps her go through rigorous training to better wield the weapon in a more convenient manner rather than just swinging her hammer around and wasting energy when it doesnt hit. He'll even rope Omega in who's more than happy to shoot a moving target. Amy will have to skillfully weave and dodge through it all, or use her hammer to block or deflect the projectiles.

I guess he'd tried to teach her to be more careful of the people she trusted, not to trust so easily and openly. But I think she'd be pretty adamant about it, after all, she trusted him pretty much as soon as she met Shadow, and when she met Omega (E 123 Gamma? sorry cant remember if theyre the same character), along with a bunch of other baddies. She's not afraid of getting hurt or being wrong or trying to be the try hard good guy, she cares more about giving second chances to those who want it. Shadow and Amy agree to disagree but its brought up when its relevant.

hopefully this is good enough?? idk the shadamy fanfics i read back in the day, Shadow was either a really emo guy in highschool or some guy in a gang or mafia, and along came amy this really preppy girl who'd bring him out of his shell and into the sunshine, until one day her life was in danger and he'd have to save her, and sonic was either the villian or some asshole jock kid who get jealous now that amy wasnt always on him, or it was shadow's dad LOL that was THE formula for shadamy fics back then.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

model citizen ricky horror x reader

+++++++++

college au

prompt: Character A sitting in a college 7am lecture and Character B sitting next to them pouring an energy drink into their coffee and says, "I'm going to die." (First interaction)

Song: pretty little distance by as it is

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @theoneandonlykymberlee @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @xyours-eternallyx

+++++++++

i walked into the room and huffed as i took my seat, reaching into my bag for my notebook and a pen. i hated having a 9am again and missed being able to sleep-in like i did last semester. this was the first day though and i was hopeful my mind would change about it as the course went on. it probably wouldnt though. i sat there, catching a few more students walk in as i looked down at my phone.

nothing was too exciting yet and the teacher hadnt even shown up. i was more-so ready for the new art class though. it was my major after all and i was pretty well known by the professors at this point. as i sat there, a loud clatter grabbed my attention, making me look to my right. there was sat a shorter, skinny kid, with long inky black hair tucked under a beanie. my eyes went wide as he cracked the monster in his hand open, pouring it into his half=full trenta cup from Starbucks. he looked over at me and smiled.

"im going to die."

he said in the most sure-fire tone before putting the lid back on the cup and chugging it. i sat there in horror staring at him.

"are you okay?"

i asked and he shrugged, looking at me over the top of the cup. he had the bluest eyes i had ever seen, even in the low light of the art room. i was a little start struck for a second before shaking myself out of my daze, watching him put the cup down against the desk with a thud.

"if i pass out during class just push me out of the way and ill figure something out later."

he said, turning forward. i went to say something just as the teacher walked in.

"y/n! good to see you back. we missed you last semester."

professor crane said, looking to the student teacher as he ducked behind him and paced quickly to the front desk. his gaze followed him too before he shrugged and turned back to me with a smile.

"whatever, im sure he missed you too. but either way its good to have you back in class and i look forward to seeing what you come up with for the showcase in march."

i nodded with a smile before he walked away to the front of the class, instructing everyone to take their seats.

"you come here often?"

i heard from the kid next to me, hearing him laugh to himself as he took another drink of his coffee/monster concoction.

"yes, actually. im an art major."

i said a little dumbfounded. he nodded.

"cool, im here for film."

i drew my brows.

"youre doing film?"

i asked and he winked at me, looking to Brian as he turned the projector on. i opened my mouth before closing it quickly, feeling a little more confused than before.

"alright, first things first. i only make a syllabus because administration says i have to. the schedule is shit and we will most likely be doing something completely different so i suggest you keep a planner or something to keep track of your assignments. secondly, i will get to it later but i want you to start thinking about your projects for the spring showcase in march. we have a few short months so after you learn the basics of form you will be instructed to sketch something in your own style and present it to the board."

my mind went in and out after that, trying to catch quick glances at the kid next to me without being suspicious. every time he moved i could feel my heart pulse, giving me anxiety that he could actually pass out or something.

"y/n, your partner for this project will be mr olson."

brian said, standing over me and looking between the two of us. i nodded with wide eyes as he moved to the two kids behind us.

"guess that means we have pretty high chances at getting an A."

he said, raising his cup in cheers. i looked down at the assignment sheet, grazing over it and groaning. we had to come up with a comic strip in different style parts; the first panel a base sketch, the second panel a hard sketch, the third panel color blocking, and so on. god this was gonna be a nightmare.

"you dont seem too enthused."

the kid said amused. i sent him a testing look.

"im not, ive done something similar before and you have to get every step just right or they take points off. and we have to prove what parts we did."

i said, rolling my eyes. i looked over to him, blinking as a camera flash went off. i drew my brows as he looked down at the screen on it.

"where did you even get that?"

i asked, trying to inspect him. he sent me a smile.

"i always keep it on me. im ricky by the way, and you look great."

he said amused and i breathed deeply.

"y/n."

i said, looking back to the paper.

"well y/n i think this is going to be a great partnership-"

"alright!"

brian called, cutting him off.

"you have your assignments. i have nothing else for you today so you are welcome to either stay here and work until class time is over or you can leave and work on it on your own time. i dont really care either way, just get it done."

i hummed to myself before stuffing my notebook and the assignment sheet into my bag and standing up. i caught a glimpse of ricky starting at me with wide eyes as i turned to leave.

"what are you doing?"

he asked and i looked between him and the door, pointing at it.

"leaving, its not due for another week."

i started off, hearing him shuffle around before chasing after me.

"hey wait! cant we like plan what we're doing or something?"

he asked and i shrugged, looking over to him as he tried to put his paper in his backpack and hold the camera and cup of coffee. i stopped, staring at him as he struggled. i rolled my eyes, taking the cup and the camera from him. he looked to me in shock and i raised my brows.

"get to it, i dont have all day."

i said and he finished what he was doing, zipping his bag up and slinging it over it shoulder. i handed him the cup and camera back and kept walking.

"so uh, what kind of thing did you have in mind for this project?"

he asked and i looked to the sky, squinting but trying to think as we made it outside.

"i dont know, maybe a ball of some kind?"

he raised a brow, shuffling his feet as he tried to keep up with my long strides.

"like masks and large dresses?"

he asked and i nodded, opening the door to dinging hall.

"something like that yeah."

he nodded as i led us to a table.

"that sounds cool, i could get behind that."

i sent him a knowing look.

"you seem like the kind of guy who would."

i said, pulling my sketchpad out. he raised a brow, sitting beside me.

"whats that supposed to mean?"

he asked and i sent him  a look.

"im assuming you like vampires, and the Edwardian thing usually goes hand in hand with that."

he sent me a nervous smile.

"is it that obvious?"

he asked, rubbing his hands against his pants. i nodded.

"thats okay though, cause i like them too. so much so that i have costumes already, we can pose for each other. i think youd look great in this."

i said, sliding my phone across the table to show him the outfit i had for it. i just hoped it would fit him.

"you seem like youve been planning this for a while."

he said through a laugh and i shrugged.

"i just like to feel fancy, the projects on the other hand kind of fall into my lap."

i said, flipping through a few pages in my book. he placed his hand on one before taking it from me and looking over it.

"this looks insane."

he said and i looked around awkwardly.

"in a good way?"

i asked, finding his gaze.

"oh! yeah! of course in a good way. it looks super cool. i see why you wanted to do the ball thing now."

he commented, noting the sketch i had done already that was similar. it is what i was used to after all. he set the book back down in front of me and sent me a wide smile, picking his camera up and taking another picture of me.

"why do you do that?"

i asked and he laughed.

"i need models for my art and i think now that we've met you would be a great subject."

i set him a look, trying to hide the blush creeping its way up my neck.

"you really think so?"

i asked bashfully and he nodded.

"oh yeah, absolutely. and now that we're partners i think it will give me ample opportunity to find a new muse. you wanna be a subject for a music video?"

i sat back, a little taken aback.

"you want me to do what?"

i asked and he laughed, putting the camera on the table.

"in about a month my band is gonna need some girls for a video but its cool if not. i can live with us just being art project partners."

i cleared my throat, rubbing my hands together under the table.

"how about we get through this first and ill get back to you on that?"

he smiled knowingly at me, raising his coffee to me in cheers.

"sounds like a plan to me."

[angeloncewas]

yeah i totally agree with what you said about satire and schlatt basically taking the easy way out. it seems like since that video he's kinda eased back from doing that shit, either bc the backlash or bc his friends have started verbally calling him out on it, both to his face and through making comments about him on stream (comments as in like saying they dont agree with what he did and saying they thought that video was terrible, not like them shading him or whatever ajsksk) which is good but also i wouldnt be surprised if something like that video happened again just bc like. it is his career and at this point he has to know what his larger fanbase is like to an extent, which means he also knows those terrible fucking jokes will make him money. i dont like that, but im also not gonna sit around and pretend like i cant see the fucking obvious, ya know? from what ive seen of him when he's not putting on a show for his main channel, or when he isnt around people who both encourage and enable his bad behavior (not saying this to shift blame, ive just noticed how he goes from making actually funny jokes that are harmless or, at most, a pretty obvious example of him poking fun at shitty people, at least imo, to like. straight up just being offensive when he's with people like swagger, miz, etc. vs ted, charlie and so on), he seems like a pretty good guy and its pretty clear to me that he doesnt hold the same views as the character he plays up for his main channel but that doesnt change the fact that his audience is now full of the worst kinds of people and that is how he makes money.

as someone who, again, watched idubbbz, as well as filthyfrank, they both stated they were playing characters and they didnt agree with the shit they were joking about, joji especially, but them saying that isnt very well known by even their own fanbase who just watches their main channel stuff, bc the one video where joji made that explicitly clear what he was doing, he later deleted for people harassing him in the comments (it was an old ass video where he basically said that playing those characters was giving him literal health problems, specifically stress induced seizures, and his comments were so bad that he never made an ooc video on his main channel again) and the one video i can think of where ian explicitly said he was playing a character was like an hour long podcast with h3, which most people dont even wanna watch bc it is a painfully uncomfortable one hour, considering the fact that they are supposed to be friends. besides that, the only other time they were really out of character was in vlogs with maxmoefoe, and they still did their offensive bits from time to time bc it was still going up on youtube, even if it wasnt their main channel. compare that to schlatt who has, as far as i know, never explicitly said he's playing a character, and the closest he has gotten to saying that was in some weekly slap video that i cant remember the title of bc all those videos kinda blend together if im being honest. like they definitely show a different, better side of him, but they are also all really short videos with only gameplay to watch and he never even promotes the channel, so its not like the shitty people watching him are like "hm time to take some time out of my day to go watch big man schlatt give people advice and be a genuine person for once", right?

idk. schlatt is just such a weird person for me bc like. he is a big comfort for me, i really do enjoy his content when he's not making bad stabs at satire (bc sometimes he does it right!! but a lot of the time, at least recently, he has just missed the mark entirely, to the point where it feels like he wasnt even trying to hit the mark at all), but he is also so uncomfortable to watch sometimes just bc he seems to either not know where the line is, or thinks crossing it is okay bc its him playing a character and that's not fun to watch as a minority who often ends up being apart of that "punchline".

that aside tho...yes, unfortunately idubbbz does still make content (and i say unfortunately bc it is not very good) though it seems like he is very slow to upload and last i checked, the views arent too great, but ive seen worse. probably the only thing that could bring back his views at this point would be a content cop, but like a year or so back he said he has no plans of continuing the series bc he finds it boring now, which is fair enough. i dont really keep up with him anymore, but as far as i know, he just got married to anisa and he streams on twitch sometimes, besides that the dude is a mystery to me!

—🦷 (also im sorry if this is formatted weird, for whatever reason tumblr has indented each of my paragraphs with one of those grey line thingys and it wont let me remove it. if it doesnt show up in the actual ask then ignore this!)

This is kind of old now (sorry), but I still wanted to respond because I really appreciate your perspective :)

> I always wonder how people not involved in the fandom view Schlatt. Because wasn't there this thing about Hasan genuinely thinking that he was conservative? And like he obviously doesn't now, but does that not impact how he sees him and his content? I don't mean to dictate friendships - of course - I'm just curious as to the impact of having that audience from an outsider pov. I remember being shocked what that thing happened with the pdp fan, but I later found that many people weren't because they knew the nature of the audience he cultivated; maybe I'm just stupid, I had no idea. (Not that Schlatt and pdp are the same, it's just a loose comparison.)

> No one should face harassment, but I doubt Joji deleting that video helped his case. (I mean ig it worked out in the long term considering everything that happened with his music, but yk.) I'm very sorry for the health problems he faced with the characters themselves though. I don't know much about him but that sounds awful.

> I have thoughts on The Weekly Slap, but I think they make me sound bitter and don't add much so just know that they're there ajfdkjdf. I will say that he doesn't seem like "Jschlatt" in them, and moreso just a guy. I know that he quit it for a number of reasons and one of them was not being comfortable with that kind of connection in relation to his increasing fame, but honestly I think his complete dislodgement from his fanbase isn't healthy either.

> I mean, I get it. I've watched a lot of content from a lot of people - ranging from kind of unpleasant to very unsavory - and it's kind of a weird feeling with YouTube and Twitch stuff. Idk it's like - when I go to the grocery store, I'm not wondering if the guy checking my things out is a racist. When I see a commercial, I don't wonder if that guy advertising chicken nuggets is a secret creep. But with content creation of this kind, it's just a weird thought in the back of my mind. I don't know if this makes sense lmao

> Weird that Idubbz finds content cop "boring." I guess the formula is kind of stale and half of the content was the edge, but it seems like the kind of thing that'd be perfect to capitalize off of around now. Cool that he got married... I think. I mean if he's happy ???

> Don't mind the formatting, and sorry to respond like WAY past when this conversation was relevant T_T. I read it right away but the timing got off with actually being able to type stuff out.

[adowbaldwin]

Baldwins Secret - part 10?

Diana took one last, longing look around the room, surrounded by historical figures she had only read about. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever invision herself walking amongst the men who shaped the Roman Empire, much less befriending Caesars daughter and Mark Anthonys sister. Who was also technically her sister in law.

She left the celebrations to walk along the gardens once more stopping briefly to ruffle Lucius head as he took Anthonys money in a game of back gammon, or rather the Ancient Roman version.

Her favourite part of the house was most certainly the entertaining room. Many nights she had spent watching Lucius as he demanded attention from everyone, taking all their money in gambling debts and doting on Antonia. He followed her with his eyes around the room, or acted like a lost puppy and trailed at her feet all the time.

Seeing him with his own children, especially his daughters answered the question as to why he had taken to Rebecca so easily, despite being a massive ass hat.

Julia came bounding down the hallway, arms flinging wide and embraced Diana "I am going to miss you, so much"

Diana felt sad, it was a shorter time here but just as hard to leave them behind as she had with those she came to love in 1590 "Not as much as i will miss you" one last rib crushing, air constricting hug and she left with her father.

One goodbye she did not want to say was to the children, and Antonia. God how she would miss little Cyrus waking her up every morning with cheese, sharing his own with her because "she was pretty".

"Our time has come to an end, sister" Antonias voice was tight, eyes glassy

She needed to know "if you can see your own future, why not change it?" It came off as more a desperate plea. Not only for the sake of her loosing a friend, but also Lucius' happiness laid with her.

She smiled, small tear working its way down her face as she cupped Dianas cheek "What will be, will be. Ive seen my end many times and i do not fear it"

Their hug, sisters in both witch craft and marriage was bitter sweet. Diana would never have otherwise known of her, this life without secretly snacking but now it was all ending. She loved getting to know her and him in this time but she had to leave it behind.

"Diana" Antonia whispered softly "please take care of him" she croaked

She nodded, tears slipping "Dont worry, i intend on hugging him everyday of my life. And ill make Rebecca do it too. He loves her"

They braced foreheads before pulling back and patting their wet faces "i have one favour to ask of you, before you go?" Antonia asked meekly

Diana nodded "anything, name it"

Present Day:

"This house, its just - omg" Phoebe squealed, it was a living time capsule "how has it lasted all those years?" She marvelled

Boudicca laughed "Oh my sweet it hasnt, father has it refurbished every so often. There is probably one pillar and a tile that is original" she smiled "its nice though, that he keeps it as is. Nothing like being able to return to your childhood home"

"Baldwin said he cant stay long, why?" She furrowed her brows in confusion. She had never seen him as content and happy as he had been the past few days

"The city is his home. He has rebuilt, built and financed everything from the Zoo to the tarmac but none of it shakes the ghosts" she lowered her tone, knowing if her father overheard he would not be too happy "everyone he has ever loved, everything he knew walked these halls. Its alot for a man that has bottled his emotions for 2000 years"

"I cant picture him married" she trailed off "or changing nappies"

Boudicca smiled "he cloth diapered our bums more then mother. He is the broodiest man in the world, even now. I think it is the only thing he hated about turning, not being able to churn out more children"

It was an odd notion, one Phoebe could not appreciate. Her mind wandered to the possibilities, how if in a different life she and Marcus could of had children in some alternate reality. Though not possible now, it wouldnt stop them from trying.

Her deep in thought, pensive walk was halted as the strongest scent of willowsap and honeysuckle flooded her senses. Dianas distinct mark was unmistakeable, filled with aromas Phoebe could not place, ancient wonderous things she had never known.

Boudicca made an appreciative noise "i had missed the scent of ladys mantle and frankincense" she turned abruptly, listening intently for Dianas heart beat "Come, she is in the livingroom"

[otterplusharchive]

rey! do you have any recs for kdramas? i have never watched any, but i like lovable characters and romance ? thank you in advance!

I DO IN FACT HAVE DRAMA RECS HII not all of these will be kdramas, but ill start with the kdramas ive watched and enjoyed and ill include all the warnings for them that i can remember off the top of my head and a brief synopsis for u!

kdramas-

1. weight lifting fairy kim bok joo

this was probably one of the first kdramas i saw people post about in like 2015 and i watched a little bit of it in 2016 but then only just got around to finishing it last year. the basic gist of it is its about a young sports college weight lifter, kim bok joo, centering around her navigating through her life and trying to figure out who she is and what she wants in life and what she wants to be. her romantic interest in the show is a swimmer and they have a sort of rivals to friends to lovers, he is SO in love with her and its adorable. i absolutely loved the side characters in this show theyre all so fun and kim bok joos best friends and weight lifting team are especially delightful. my main warning would be that this show addresses eating disorders and theres a lot of mention of both weight gain and weight loss, theres also a plot point early on where kim bok joo has a crush on her eventual love interests older brother but it gets resolved and the older brother literally goes "i didnt realize you had a crush on me and if i knew that i wouldnt have been so friendly with you, it would be completely innapropriate for us to be in a relationship". overall its a really sweet and emotional fun show but if you have issues with weight talk id skip this one

2. tale of the nine tailed

this one is really recent from last year and i didnt expect to be so hooked by it but boy howdy did i get attached to all the characters and the wild plot. it feels hard to explain the plot but basically a nine tailed fox named lee yeon is living in modern day seoul and is working for the underworld finding paranormal spirits/creatures/other rogue foxes that are causing havoc on the world, hes resigned himself to living this life while waiting for his girlfriend who died tragically 600 years ago to come back to life because he traded his status as a mountain god in order to ensure that her soul would one day be reincarnated. a plucky investigative journalist named nam ji ah figures out that hes not human and shenanagins ensue because she looks exactly like his dead girlfriend oooooo whatll happen. the plot beyond that gets really wild and its hard to explain and is easier to just watch. if u enjoy paranormal adventures this one is good. my one big complaint and issue with this is that the immortal mountain spirit meets his original girlfriend when shes a child and she continues to visit him off and on as she grows up which is Hm I Dont Like That! but thankfully the present time romance our female lead meets him when shes about 30 if im remembering right. also warnings for general fantasy violence, references to child abuse, animal death, and abandonment issues

3. extraordinary you

HUGE unreality warning for this. if you have issues with feeling unreal or have paranoia/delusions about not being a real person id avoid this one just because of its premise

ok i know i said tale of the nine tailed was a hard plot to explain but BOY extraordinary you is even HARDER to explain. because its so wild but so good. its about a girl who realizes that she is literally a side character in a comic book, and the story becomes her trying to change the story to save her character from dying but it becomes a lot more than that. the romance in this is literally tooth achingly sweet and the show itself is very pretty, i loved the side characters in this one and the show was engaging and interesting to watch it became really layered and meta. super reccomend this one honestly. my main issues/warnings that i can remember off the top of my head were just one character being the classic controlling boyfriend stereotype, bullying someone specifically for being poor, unreality like i mentioned before, and then at the very end there was this love interest for a side character who got reincarnated from a past piece of writing that they had been in and put in the comic but she was a student and he was the school cook which is weird but thankfully they like barely interact at all and theres no real romance he just like recognizes her and its barely a thing at the end of the show but its still weird

4. mystic pop up bar

big warning for suicide, sexual harrasment (which is framed as being bad and the guy whos harrassing the girl literally gets thrown off a roof)

i havent finished this one yet and thats mainly because im not emotionally ready because this one makes me soooo emotional. if you like found family this is a good one. its about a pop up bar run by a woman whos been tasked with solving the problems of a certain amount of people in order to atone for her crimes in the past before dying, shes able to enter the dreams of people and solve their issues using the information she gets in the dreams. paranormal shenanagins ensue, she acquires a son and a husband and it kills me its so fun and quirky and fun despite handling dark themes and peoples problems. also very sweet the found family murders me

5. kingdom (netflix original)

i literally am not going to be able to watch any other zombie media because kingdom and train to busan are the best pieces of zombie media ive ever seen. warnings for gore and violence and just general horror aspects.

i absolutely love this one its so thrilling and well done, i love the acting and the way that this show looks its absolutely gorgeous. a zombie plague breaks out in joseon period korea where the emperor has died and then was brought back to life by the queen and her father in a ploy to try and keep their family in political power, the crown prince must find answers. a lot more happens and its very dramatic and good i love the characters in this one

cdramas

1. the untamed. if you follow me and you havent watched the untamed im begging you to watch the untamed. literally one of the most beautiful stories ive experienced in my life i am not joking when i say i cried multiple times over it. the main characters are canonically gay in love and have a son together please watch the untamed. handles a lot of dark themes, heres a tw guide

2. the sleuth of the ming dynasty

this is another one i havent finished but its fun so far, very gay, found family, food, and solving murder mysteries during the ming dynasty

3. hikaru no go (also known as qi hun)

havent finished this one, there is some propaganda about hong kong in the first episode but as far as i know thats the only instance of something like that in the show

this ones about the game go and so far its very sweet and fun, local boy awakens a ghost who was a master of the game of go hundreds of years ago and eventually is persuaded to learn how to play go with the aid of the ghost. im really liking this one so far its very cute and i love the characters in it. if youve watched the untamed nie huaisangs actor ji li is in this one!

4. the legend of yunqian

this ones very short and on youtube, all the episodes are about 5 minutes long and its a lesbian time travel fantasy adventure with a happy ending! funny and cute

jdramas

1. cherry magic

please please please watch cherry magic. the premise sounds very much like a weird yaoi kind of thing but trust me on this. trust me. it is so heart warming and sweet and i was so emotional about it and the growth of the main character.

adachi gains the power to read peoples minds on his 30th birthday based off a urban legend that if youre a 30 year old virgin that youll become a wizard. after gaining this power he accidentally finds out that his extremely popular and handsome coworker has a crush on him, and shenanagins ensue along with adachi having blossoming feelings in return. this show was really refreshing in a lot of ways, adachi is a main character who like.. is unsure of himself and insecure in a very kind of realistic way, he closes himself off and is afraid to reach out to people and through the course of the show we see him slowly come out of his shell and realize that hes likeable and lovable and that people want to be around him and its so nice to see. my main complaint about this show is that i dont really like the background couple, but otherwise this is a very sweet and refreshing gay romance that has a happy ending!

some others that i myself havent seen but that ive seen people talk about a lot and that i want to watch eventually:

- the legend of fei (cdrama)

- the wolf (cdrama)

- gaurdian (cdrama, not the kdrama one called goblin)

- healer (kdrama, i did watch some of this one but it was in 2016 and i never finished it so i barely remember any of it but i do remember liking it)

- nobody knows (kdrama)

- its ok to not be ok (kdrama)

sorry this is so long but i hope youll be able to find a drama u enjoy!!

[g00by3]

i am genuinely such a bad person. down to my absolute core, i am absolutely awful. im so toxic and manipulative and always searching for attention. i need other ppls validation to feel good abt myself, otherwise i feel like nothing but a fraud. thats why i overshare so much, i need ppl to validate that what i went thru was bad otherwise what happened was nothing. im convinced im lying abt everything, i dont know whats real or not anymore. i could just be typing this into the void and just be tricking myself into thinking ppl care. any one of my countless attempts couldve worked, n i wouldnt necessarily know. anything i did before my death didnt matter, and whatever im doing now after my death doesnt matter either. i hold no meaning in life at this point. im just good to be hurt and hurt others. i do my best not to turn into any of the abusers, but deep down ik im just as rotten as them. i say things w/o thinking and w no second thought, i hurt others. i tell myself what im doing is bad n do everything in my power to change but it never lasts.

i keep filling my life w relationships (platonic, romantic/sexual, stronger familial bonds) and self-harm thru any number of means just to not feel as empty. but i still always feel empty. i make pathetic attempts at relapses and addictions and its the only time i feel alright abt myself. the only time i dont hate myself is when im hurting myself. i force myself into bad situations bc ik its what would make someone else happy, and act so impulsively. im constantly on the brink of cutting off all relationships and isolating myself from ppl i consider loved ones. ik it would be better for everyone but then who would give me that validation i so terribly need? i mute messages and chats bc i know ill snap at ppl one of these times. im constantly getting annoyed and irritated at other ppl showing me that they care for me or checking on me or claiming to love me. i dont know if any of these ppl mean anything to me honestly. i dont know if im actually capable of caring for another person and loving them unconditionally. someone says one thing that i cant process healthily, and suddenly im on edge around them and feel like i cant trust them. everyone is lying to me. they cant possibly care for me, im too bad of a person.

i deserve to hurt. i deserve all the pain ive received, i deserve even more. i wish it could just be an endless cycle of abuse so that way i actually have a meaning and a purpose. im nothing but a sick child right now, but ppl just love to hurt sick children like me. i have no value to myself, but maybe if im able to please someone else i wont hate myself so much. just maybe. i dont know what its like to love myself. there are times ill love one or two things abt myself but in the end, theres more things i despise than like even the slightest. im nothing but bitter and broken, i shouldnt hurt ppl like i do but all ive known is that hurting makes ppl feel valuable. is that how i show my love?

i cant get myself to care when ik i should. im either way too empathetic or show no empathy at all. as soon as someone else is struggling, i have to do everything i can to help. otherwise, whats the point? if i cant help others, why do i exist? but once their venting gets too repetitive or they dont listen to anything i say, i snap. i say things i shouldnt say to a struggling person. then i go and vent abt the same exhausting things, day in and day out, and always expect them to help me. i struggle and blame it on everyone but myself. im a god, and can do no wrong. i cant get better as long as someone else i love is struggling. i cant possibly be the "okay" one, i dont know what thats like. i dont know what being "okay" is like. i have to be the worst one, have the worst struggles and receive the most sympathy. ik its bad but i cant change it, no matter how hard ive tried.

ive done everything i can to get help. ive tried everything and nothing works. the only time i felt "alright" was during the times i was being hurt bc at least then i was pleasuring someone, making someone feel good. theres no hope anymore, im done trying. why do i even bother? i might as well give in, do every bad thing, cut everyone off, ruin any relationships i have, and damage myself even further. in the end it doesnt matter. ill die tragically at a young age (assuming i havent already died) due to myself but at least then it will be over. beyond my death it doesnt matter. i give up. once ppl know abt the things ill be doing, theyll leave me too. then i have freedom to hurt. hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt. hurting is all ik n i might as well reclaim it and do everything to myself. then ill have all the power. ill be the powerful one, not any of them. ill be god.

whats wrong w me?

[drangues]

You can’t see it but I’m pointing and saying that you’re the one who gets me because I also love cheesy stuff. Also I’ve been a nerd over Many things in the past- Mythology, geology, psychology, computers, characters in a franchise I don’t like but I love This One Person, etc. Have I stuck with any of these things long enough to be Smart and Cool and Know A Lot? Absolutely not. But my anxiety dictates that I’ll annoy anyways. (Nyanon, 1/6)

Putting my annoyingness aside, the ones that are your favorites aren’t basic!!! They had an impact on you that makes you cherish them, and that’s important! My Neighbor Totoro is probably one of the most well known (and therefore “basic”) films they’ve released, but it’s super important to me anyways. But yes, the two of them would look adorable in the Ghibli style,,, I can even imagine them just. Dressing up as Howl and Sophie for like, a convention or something, it’d be great. (Nyanon, 2/6)

And listen he has to be doing Something with books!!! He loves them, and I feel like he’d love being able to restore or take care of them in someway, even if they are inanimate objects and it makes him feel a bit silly for being so attached. If he isn’t doing restorations or bindings, then he’s definitely a librarian. Also!!! Imagine that Kyouka’s little familiar was a gift from Atsushi,, Maybe it’s Byakko??? Like, tiny striped kitty Byakko. (Nyanon, 3/6)

I think that’d be cute, but it’s been a while since I’ve been able to watch Kiki’s Delivery Service, so I might be a bit off on how that works. And! I like to imagine that, when he’s turned into a wolf, his ability doesn’t work? Because Reasons, so he and an equally fluffy Atsushi often curl around and on top of each other, it’s adorable. Also imagine Dazai’s frustrations with his new instincts. He keeps wanting to immediately run after anything that moves. (Nyanon, 4/6)

He can’t stop chasing his own tail when it pops up, in and out of wolf form? And he doesn’t know HOW Atsushi avoids growling and making noises at Every Little Thing that bothers him. It’s exhausting and Atsushi is just vining with all of it. Anyways, onto another Scenario Concept: Atsushi getting to try out new hobbies! Because at the orphanage, all he could really do was read, but now that he’s out, he can try all sorts of things, even if he doesn’t end up staying with it. (Nyanon, 5/6)

Cooking and baking? I think we’ve already discussed that he’d Love it. Creating artwork? Not really up his alley, but he really admires people who stick with it! Singing and playing music? He’s a bit too shy to do it in front of others, but he likes listening. Just. Atsushi being able to figure what he does and doesn’t like with the help of the people around him. (Nyanon, 6/6)

ill tell you as many times as you want that youre N O T annoying im having Beef with your anxiety m8 pull UP and thank you uwu, ive been told that theyre Basic so oftentimes ill say “i know it’s basic-” to save the person from having to remark something negative about the movies SMH and im glad you find comfort in Totoro uwuwu (godammit now i definitely wanna draw atsushi and dazai cosplayers in a convention dressed as sophie and howl AAAAAAA)

atsushi very much loves books!!! kyouka would probably be chilling on the rooftop of the book store, old radio that atsushi found beside her playing some music (yes atsushi also likes to collect Old stuff and vintage stuff as well) and then she just thinks “HMMM I WANNA GO ON MY WITCH ADVENTURE NEXT FULL MOON” (which is in tWO days) and as she goes to tell atsushi that atsushi almost messes up the book hes trying fix because hes in SHOCK “kyouka? what do you mean? what should i do about the movie tickets then?” “Cancel them! im going!” *cue staring in cluelessness before snapping back into reality and scrambling after an already packing kyouka*

(i imagine that kyouka is an orphan like atsushi but she knows that her family is a lineage of witches cus she became an orphan when she was like. seven or six so she KNOWS and when she started living with atsushi he just supported her and her traditions)

and then atsushi calls the small circle of friends they have and tells them that “hey!! kyouka is going in two days!!” and theyre like oH SHIT NO WAY REALLY (i imagine its koyo, yosano, fukuzawa and lucy are the people that are in their circle of friends that see kyouka off)

while byakko is atsushi and kyoukas Cat he definitely gives byakko to her as hes crying and saying that she needs to have a friend from home before she makes new ones and kyoukas like “ill be Back dont worRY-”

KENJI IS THE BOY SHE MEETS AT THE TOWN SHE SETTLES FOR AND THEY ARE CUTE AND FALL IN LOVE IM SORRY AAAA- i just ship them okay they would be very cute

and then later on that night when kyouka is gone and everyone went home atsushi closes the book shop but then Somebody walks in and its the WITCH and they C U  R S E him and he becomes OLD and hes like “i cant let everybody else see me like this” and FLEES to try and find whoever cursed him or however he can Lift this dumb curse cause he does not want kyouka to come home to change, he just wants her to comfortably come back and fall into her usual routines without much of a shock

and so he meets Dazais Moving Castle and i imagine chuuya being the angry calcifer and akutagawa being dazais quiet but Cant Say No underling (which is so CUTEEE) and they. its just. Yes. (chuuya is smitten but doesnt which is why he gives in to atsushi so fast that it surprises dazai) either way all that drama happens and now atsushi is back with a new boyfriend (read: husband), a same aged friend, and an angry former Flame which is Not what atsushi accepted but hey, kyouka is back with a heart filled with romance so she cant be too shocked at atsushi also being in love

sorry i went on a whole tangent there

anyways, werewolf dazai!!

dazai: how do you deal with this?

atsushi, dead serious: i ignore it like i ignore my hunger

dazai: 

(wait side note do you think atsushi would unconsciously do stuff he doesnt realise that he just,,,,Doesnt need to do anymore?? like for example he’ll be like “ah i cant i gotta do all of this torturous work before actually letting myself relax” and then he’ll realise wait,,,,i Can relax now,,,why wouldnt i be able to .What Do U Think Nyanon)

PIGGY BACKING OFF OF WHAT I SAID THAT REALISATION WILL PROBABLY MAKE ATSUSHI TRY OUT NEW HOBBIES ! ! ! AND IT’S JUST SO CUTE

[wickymicky]

wizones have always been clamoring for izone to be made a permanent group. ive always felt really bad, cause i knew it would never work that way, that’s not how the produce 101 system works and they wouldnt make an exception for izone. but like... actually? i feel like now more than ever... it could happen???

before the scandal there was a 0% chance of izone being made a permanent group. now though... i’d say maybe like a 30% chance? it’s not high, of course... but... think about it for a sec... 

there probably is no more “produce 101 system” anymore lol. they’re managed by a company that manages another group (OTR also has fromis 9), unlike ioi, wanna one, and x1 who were i believe managed by something called YMC which if i remember correctly was sort of just created to manage those groups. i’m not sure why OTR didnt manage x1? but in any case, the situation is different. unlike YMC, OTR has a permanent group, so that means they for sure have permanent staff. the infrastructure is there.

they arent even owned by mnet anymore right? they make no profit from them i think? and the companies that each of the members belong to... they might want to distance themselves from the scandal. especially companies like starship lol, since i think someone in a high ranking position was investigated and maybe even arrested? if izone disbands, how many of the companies will debut those members? a very likely scenario is that izone disbands, and all of them are dropped by / manage to leave their respective companies anyway. izone’s making a lot of money right now... but because of the narrative of them as a unit of twelve. would each respective trainee make a shitton of money for their companies if they debuted in separate groups later? im not sure. that certainly didnt happen with IOI... only two or three of the IOI members are having careers that could be considered “successful”. some of my favorites are the ones whose groups are on the nugu-er side, as you can tell by my url lol, but i’m just saying that if you’re a greedy CEO... is the prospect of having a weki meki or gugudan on your hands really that exciting? OTR might be making enough money that they could be able to successfully negotiate with the members’ companies and get their contracts, and maybe keep giving the companies who are the stingiest a cut or something, who knows lol. 

also, everglow and rocket punch have already debuted and are finding some success and recognition already. yena being added to everglow in a year and a half might not even be that big of a deal... it’s not like everglow is lacking in charismatic, well-liked members haha... yuehua doesnt need yena, and the controversy of adding her might be a risk they dont want to take. adding chaewon and/or eunbi to rocket punch as well... yeah, idk. a while ago i was all for it, cause i saw it as inevitable anyway, so i was just already thinking of them as future members. but now... who can be sure? especially with the groups carving out identities of their own. 

as i said, it’s possible that the members will leave their companies anyway (they certainly have pretty good cases to get out of their contracts lmao)... so even if izone doesnt continue as izone... the chance of them banding back together with at least 9 or 10 of the 12 members is pretty high. the japanese members are a big question mark, but we’ll see. 

if izone disbands, the backlash will be much, much larger than for any of the others. izone has already existed for longer than ioi was around, and by the time the disbandment would come, they’d be the longest running produce 101 group, so fans will have known them as a single unit for a lot longer. and during that long run... this scandal happened. as we’re seeing, wizones are more passionate than ever. i dont think companies would be scared off by backlash, but the opposite could be true... its possibly that OTR for instance might feel motivated by the demand. 

if this scandal hadnt happened, if the postponement hadnt happened, it wouldnt be possible at all. but now, it kind of is. it’s still unlikely, but the fact that there are plausible scenarios where something could lead to them staying together at all is a big deal. 

[kayl096]

So I've come to some realizations. And also still am confused about a lot. But anyways I'm going to share here because i dont really have anywhere else to.

I identify as androgyne. A lot of people have known me to be a transman so let me explain a bit. I'll try to keep organized but no promises.

I did really believe that i was a transman. It seemed to be the most fitting by definition and experience to describe what i feel and was actually something i could better explain to people.

Realistically though I've always felt this confusion within me of neutrality but also leaning way more masculine. I was often conflicted when seeing myself in the mirror, getting ready, introducing myself, presenting myself online or irl. I held a confusion for a long time of "Am i a very masculine girl or a feminine guy?" And for years drew a blank. It was pretty much with me my entire life as soon as i had any sense of self and a realization that i was different than the kids in school. People on the regular were coming over to me and asking if i was a boy or girl and i never really knew what to say.

The older i got the harder it got. It really got me one day when getting ready for school and realizing i was trying to look handsome not pretty. I was about 13 maybe.

I began openly identifying as queer/androgynous. It was the most comfortable i had ever been with myself. That lasted for a couple years.

Ever sense puberty started giving me a chest, i had wanted it to go away so badly. I was practicing "binding" in so many ways before i even knew what that meant. And this discomfort persisted even when at my most comfortable time of self expression.

At around age 15/16 i learned about transmen. I learned what it meant to transition, i learned about top surgery, i read and listened to stories i could relate to. I thought oh my gosh this is it! This is why i am the way i am! I came out as a transman.

At 18 i was able to start hormones and at 20 had top surgery.

I enjoyed certain changes from T and didnt like some as much that became more apparent as time went on. After a while i began questioning myself because i realized i didnt actually want to be an actual man. The choices i made for myself did alleviate dysphoria but there was a stopping point. I didnt want to go any further.

I found myself back in that neutral place. If i am not trans why would doing this help? If i was cis i wouldnt be so thankful for what transitioning did do to help me.

I came to the conclusion i am just very androgynous more masculine leaning. I did have dysphoria and i did what was necessary to help it. I transitioned to an androgynous body because that's who i am. But also realistically apart from my chest i never really hated my body and probably could've done without T except i was glad to not have such a squeaky voice and also look fit bc of body fat redistribution and the abiltiy to gain muscle easier.

Im trying to accept that and trying to figure out which pronouns to use but they all feel weird at this point.

And of course ive also been told i cant experience dysphoria without being binary trans. And i thought that too because it makes a lot more sense and would be a lot easier for me to be. But im just, not. I know what i feel and it's a feeling I've had for as long as i remember.

I havent told many people in my life because well, it's hard to explain and its not like a whole lot is gonna change so unless i decide strictly on 1 set of pronouns, i dont think I'll mention it to my fam. Im still me, i still wear mens clothing as always, and they went through a lot w me over all this already.

Right now i try to take every pronoun used by strangers as neutral. Theyre just words. And on a daily at work i get mixed pronouns so maybe hearing people say different things will help me figure out what's most comfortable.

[ladyboltontoyou]

Arthur Morgan x Reader: Ol’ Fashion Fingers

Ask: ahhh okay so the kinda gross idea! i was wondering if you could write something where the reader is on her period and arthur takes care of her, and i mean...we both know he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty and also...a bit of blood won’t gross him out right? so maybe...he takes care of her and later...works his magic fingers to makes her feel better? i know it’s probably very gross but my cramps are so extremely bad this month i’m dying i just need some arthur i LOVE your writing btw!

Warning: Fingering, period blood

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader

A/N: I am so sorry I took so long on this. Whoever sent in the ask, hope you enjoy! (Lmfao at the ‘say no more’ part at the end) Also, they didn’t have tampons or pads back then I don’t think so I used rags, since that’s what I remember women had to use before our ‘luxury’ items. 

“Kill me, put a bullet in my skull, please, it would be a mercy.” Your cramps this month were killing you. They hadn’t been this bad in years, not since you first started having them when you were very young.

“That bad?” Arthur asked as he chewed on a some of the candy Hosea had bought for you.

“You have no idea.” You sighed, watching him clean his gun. The two of you were sitting in a room at one of the Taverns in Valentine, you had rented out a room and bought special service to help ease the pain. Every thirty minutes a maid would bring you a fresh cold rag, a hot blanket, and some water. Karen had done it the last time she got her period and said it was one of the best things she’d ever spent money on. 

Arthur set his gun down on the dresser and made his way over to you, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside your feet. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do for you?”

You hummed and looked up, pretending to be deep in thought. “I don’t know… kiss me?” 

Arthur broke into a smile and leaned across you, giving you a quick kiss. “How was that?”

“I still hurt. Kiss me again.”

He kissed you again, longer this time and with more movement. When he pulled back he raised a brow, questioning silently.

“I think it’s working, but I can’t tell. Maybe you’re not trying hard enough.” You forced yourself into a sitting position, now face to face with the man. 

Arthur let out a sigh, not one of annoyance but rather amusement, and brought you in for another kiss. This time you caught him off guard and slipped your tongue in his mouth, bringing up a hand to run your fingers through his hair. His hat fell onto the ground but neither of you noticed. 

The kiss didn’t end as quickly as the others did. Even when he pulled the sheets off of your body your lips remained connected. Even when his hands slid up your legs and gave your thighs a squeeze. You only broke the kiss so you could take your pants off. They were your go-to that time of the month pair, they had holes in the knees and were black so if you had any sort of accident no one would be able to tell. 

You had changed your rag not too long ago so it wasn’t that bloody, thankfully. Even though Arthur had mentioned many times before that he had seen blood almost every day of his life, it wasn’t anything new or gross to him. Still, sometimes you felt a bit embarrassed. 

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” You reminded Arthur as he planted kisses along your neck while his hands squeezed your bare hips.

“Quit that. Lay down and relax, alright?” 

You nodded and laid back down flat on your back after you removed your button up shirt. Arthur hadn’t bothered removing any of his clothing since what he planned on doing didn’t involve him at all. Maybe afterward if what he had in mind didn’t hurt, but he couldn’t imagine anything bigger than a finger inside you would do anything other than cause more unnecessary pain.

He started with massaging your clit, working you up enough so you were shaking. Your little whimpers and moans were almost too much for him but he kept himself together and focused on you and you only. 

After a while of doing that he lightly trailed his fingers down your folds, teasing your entrance with feather-like touches. He kept his eyes on your face and searched for the slightest sign of discomfort, but he only found pleasure. You had your mouth slightly open, letting out quick puffs of air, and your eyes closed. 

“Don’t hesitate to stop me, you hear?” As if. After all the time you’d known Arthur, he still surprised you every day by how sweet he could be. You’d never find another man living as considerate, honest, and utterly selfless as Arthur Morgan.

“M’kay.” 

He looked at you for a few more seconds before he was satisfied that you were totally okay with everything. He then pushed one finger inside you, slow and only partial. Almost immediately he looked up to make sure you didn’t look like you were in any pain. You seemed fine, eyes still closed with your bottom lip between your teeth from anticipation.

You wished he would get on with it, you weren’t made of glass. But you knew he was just being careful, and plus, it wasn’t like you didn’t like when he teased you a little. In your experience, an orgasm always felt better after you had to work for it. 

When he was finally knuckle deep he tested out a gentle curl, knocking a moan out of you. “You alright girl?” He asked, his voice raw and husky, and stilled his movements. 

“Keep going.” 

He obliged and continued curling his fingers, making you forget about the pain going on inside you. You’d never actually fingered yourself whilst on your period, it would be too hard to hide the blood on your fingers if anyone walked in on you. You had settled for outside stimulation which usually eased your pain for a while, but this was a whole different feeling. It was as if you weren’t even on your period at all. No cramps, your spine didn’t ache and your legs weren’t sore to the touch. You didn’t even have a headache anymore.

It didn’t take you long to come. The feeling of his long thick fingers inside you coupled with the erotic image of him sitting fully clothes between your spread legs was too much to handle. Even if you wanted to prolong the whole thing you couldn’t, your orgasm came too sudden and fast for you to do anything about it. All you could do was let out a couple of swear words with his name thrown in a few times and came around his fingers.

Arthur was blown away, as he was every time he had the ‘privilege’, as he called it, to watch you come. “Jesus, woman.” Was all he could say.

You sat up with shaky arms, catching your breath as you ran your fingers through your hair. “That almost works better than morphine.” You joked and grabbed your shirt, slipping your arms through the sleeves but not bothering to button it back up.

“Speakin’a morphine, you should have some soon,” Arthur said as he watched you grab a new rag from the bedside table, wiping the cum and blood from your thighs before you handed it to the man beside you. “Unless the maid rode off with my money.”

“Oh, Arthur. You didn’t have to do that.” 

“Don’t ‘oh Arthur’ me.” He said as he wiped his fingers off, throwing the rag on the floor with the other one. “It was either that or cocaine, and you don’t need that right now. Last time you had some of that we couldn’t get you to sit down for ten minutes, you remember that?”

Shaking your head you laughed, getting one more rag to put in the pants you’d just slipped back on. “Yeah, I do.” You had chewed on far too many pieces of cocaine gum with the intention to get some work done around camp, but you ended up finishing all the chores within thirty minutes. So for the rest of the day, you were doing tasks that didn’t need to be done, such as over-hunting and fishing. The camp had to cook triple what they normally did every night so the food wouldn’t spoil. 

“I will admit, once you’re done with this whole bleeding thing it wouldn’t hurt to have you hunting again. You’re ‘bout the only one in camp besides me who can shoot anything without ruinin’ the meat.” 

You smiled at his compliment and laid back down, savoring the time you had left until the pain would kick back in. Hopefully, the morphine would get to you before then. “Thank you, Arthur. I feel much better now. You’re so good at that, I might start paying you to make me feel better instead of these maids.”

Arthur smiled and scooted up so he could lay down beside you. “Yeah, well, seeing you like that is all the payment I could ask for.” He kissed your cheek and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Oh yeah? Well, I think I’ve got some more to pay you.” 

Arthur held up his hand. “Don’t say nothin’ else.”

[legion1993]

3 little words: i Love You

A/n: this is for @thisismysecrethappyplace for her challenge! *sorry this took so long girl! but here it is... im so sorry i hope this fits with all the prompts and details. hope you enjoy it.

pairing: Barry Allen x Female!reader

reader’s personal sitch: bullied by family “friends” co workers

male main is: overprotective

sitch between mains: love letters

dialogue (quote): “i was just kinda hoping that you’d… y’know… fall in love with me…”

summery: its a surprise….

masterlist

this is how your life changed, it went from one of daily turmoil and unpleasentries to one where you received your happily ever after.  this is how it happened, this is how you discovered how much your best friend really cared about you. 

your daily routine included: 

waiting 10 minutes before getting out of bed to make sure your eyes were working first. 

after getting out of bed, going to the bathroom doing your hair and smiling at yourself in the mirror. 

then going to select your outfit, something comfortable yet pleasent on the eyes. 

once that was done, do some of your daily mobile game stuff. 

then walking out the door with your bag, shoes and sometimes a jacket.

then walking to work, of course with your music rocking away in your ears, you of course had already called Jitters coffee house placing the order for your morning coffee and of course your breakfast sandwich.

stopping in and picking it up, chatting a bit with the usual barista or whoever happened to be working at that particular time.

walking out of there carefully continuing your strut all the way to the CCPD, where for about 8 months now you had faithfully fulfilled the role of CSI, while your best friend Barry Allen was in acoma after being struck by lightning. 

your only wish was to have your best friend/overprotective partner in crime solving back by your side cause without him there, work was hell for you. 

for you were bullied and teased by pretty much everyone you worked with, everyone only bullied you if the captain or Barry or iris or Joe weren’t around.  this time none of them were around, instead you were teased as soon as you walked into the station, you practically had to run through the police station, up the stairs to your’s and Barry’s lab. 

you got in there placing the coffee and your sandwich on the nearby table you fell to the ground in tears…  all you could do was wish that Barry was there, but it was getting easier to do this day by day, just involved alot of crying and lots of alcohol. 

YN (to self): “Barry come back to me, please i need you!”

all you did was repeat that over and over… but someone else happened to stumble upon your little crying session… for now it was Iris West who happened to walk in your lab slowly….

thats of course when she heard what you were saying more clearly…

Iris: “YN…”

your head turned towards the friendly, familiar voice this made you come out of your on the floor stupper, get up and run into her familiar embrace. when she pulled back she started crying with a smile on her face. 

YN: “Iris, i know why i’m crying but why are you crying?”

Iris: “it’s Barry, he’s awake!”

YN: “he is… when? for how long? how? is he okay? Where?”

Iris: “he is fine, he is at Star Labs still they are just making sure he is healthy before they let him come home. Barry wanted me to tell you that he will be back soon. now want some company while you start your work?”

YN: “i wouldnt mind, it would keep the other noses out of where they don’t belong.”

Iris: “people still giving you a hard time?”

You just nodded you couldnt even form words about it, see what had been happening was you were always seen as the burden, the over bearing know it all, seen as the one thing stopping everyone around you from being able to live their lives… 

but when you started working at the CCPD after Barry fell into acoma your only thought was doing your job, however certain of Central city’s finest didnt think you had any business at all digging your nose into the cases as CCPD’s newest CSI… 

it was always worse, like going to school with Barry people would tease you and him, teasing you guys by saying that you guys looked closer than friends… well as much as that would be a nice thought you were just grateful once you and Barry graduated high school. 

but in the back of your mind, the only part of those memories that really stuck with you were the ones that included every single time Barry would drag you away from those bullies, everyone around you guys, sometimes it was almost like he was over protective of you. 

Barry a few times got his ass kicked just because he tried to avenge your feelings, because he was the only one who was able to see through your facade, he could see that all the teasing and bullying was tearing you apart…

But nothing else was said apart from the new kind of glow about you, Iris of course was thrilled, but she could see that all the pain and sorrow you had been surrounded with when she walked in the lab had all gone away. 

your main focus right then was on the fact that Barry was awake and alive and coming back soon. 

Iris: “so what case are you working on?”

YN: “something brand new the Captain texted me that he was gonna leave samples of stuff on my desk… in a box…”

you pick up the box of evidence and smile. now you were in happy-ish work mode. 

with your new outlook nothing could bring you down, well none except for them… in the ccpd there was a pair of men, they were the same jerks from when you and Barry were in high school. every single morning they walked well more like strided into your lab and began to bug you. 

bully 1: “hey YN what do you call a lab coat with stains?“ 

bully 2: "oh look its not a lab coat its a bitch thinking she can survive in a world where she does not belong.”

Bully 1: “and look she has a friend with her… i guess its a two for one special today…”

Bully 2: “which one do you want?”

Iris came closer to you, grabbing the mop where you grabbed the broom… 

Iris: “stay back or we will make you stay back…”

Bully 1: “well then make us… little bitches.”

those bullies just stood there and didnt move or anything but the second they started laughing both you and Iris set down the mop and the broom which in turn led to both you ladies walking up to those bullies and kicking them in the balls. then running off to talk to Captain Singh. 

when you and Iris got to the stair case like 2 hallways away from the lab, Iris spotted her father and figured she would let you talk to captain singh alone. 

Iris: “ill catch you later YN!”

Iris said once both you and her got down the stairs, it was your job to get into singhs office and tell him about the bullying that was going on within the precinct walls. 

you approached his door and knocked before opening. 

YN: “captain…”

Singh: “YN,  shut the door & come in please have a seat…”

you closed the door walking over to the chair to sit down… 

YN: “as you know since starting here i have developed a routine of mostly keeping to my work, or staying close to iris or joe or even you… well thats because alot of the precinct bullies and teases me… i mean lots of people do  but the precinct does because of Barry… they think i only took a job here cause i wanted to be close to him.. thats not it at all… i love my job, its in fact one of the only jobs where i have people to shield me from the teasing and the bullying… captain i know that you havent heard about this breakthrough news yet, not many people know about it but Iris was here this morning she told me that Barry is awake and coming back soon! the people looking after him just want to run a few more tests on him to make sure he is healthy before they release him.”

singh: “well we will be pleased and honored to have Mr. Allen back at his post and i’ll be counting on you to show barry the new protocols and things. but as to the bullying issue, i’ll make a formal announcement to the entire precinct to promote the new anti bullying law… henceforth, anyone found guilty of bullying another officer or member of the ccpd shall immediately be stripped of their rank, gun, badge and be discharged… how does that sound?”

You nod your head now having the thought of Barry, Barry how the hell would he react to hearing that since he got struck by lightning you fell prey to the bullying going on under the nose of the captain. 

Singh: “shall we go make this announcement to the entire precinct and after wards i’ll personally escort you back to your lab.”

YN: “thank you captain!”

you and singh walk out of his office, no one dared to touch you nor say anything cause of course you were walking to the staircase with the captain. at the top of the staircase you and Singh turned to face the rest of the precinct. 

Singh: “attention everyone, its come to my attention very recently that there has been bullying happening within the walls of my precinct. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE… henceforth anyone caught bullying another member of this precinct shall be stripped of their badge, their gun and be discharged from service to the CCPD. i want everyone to take note and report directly to me if there is any known bullying activity happening, names and badge numbers when you report it in. is that clear?”

everyone below agreed, then Singh turned away from you leading you back to your lab… 

Singh: “YN, i hope you know that no one will ever be able to take your position away from you… when Barry returns we will make sure to install key card access for your guys safety… but i’ll let you go back to work, and i’ll even let you take off early today. i’m sure you probably want to stop by and see Barry… or go back to your apartment and prepare to bring him home.”

at that moment before you could even say anything your phone started buzzing, it was a video chat request from Barry.. your face lit up, you turned your phone to show the captain, who bowed out gracefully. 

you went to sit at the desk full of boxes as you answered the call… 

YN: “Barry…”

Barry: “YN, looks like you are having fun!”

YN: “your ok… ive been so worried!”

Barry could just chuckle watching as you show him a huge stack of papers. 

Barry: “your worried, ive been worried. your surrounded by people who will stop at nothing to bully and torment you, who will stop at nothing but to make your life miserable. i just hope that you are gonna be able to survive till i can come back.”

YN: “when is that by the way? Iris said it would be a few days… please tell me it will be sooner than that.”

Barry: “ill be out as soon as i can! but tell me is the apartment still in tack… anyone else giving you a hard time?”

you turned your eyes towards the papers and instantly Barry knew that something was wrong… 

Barry: “is it the same idiots from high school.?”

thats when you broke down… you started crying… Barry’s only regret was that he couldnt be there to comfort you.

Barry: “as soon as i get out of this doctor office, i’ll come and i’ll save you. i promise!”

YN (sobbing): “i hope i’ll survive, the captain knows ive been getting bullied. i just hope that you are gonna be out of there soon! i really miss my roommate/best friend!”

Barry: “i miss you too… i know its been a rough few months, i also know you spent quite a few nights here right beside me, so thank you… it helped me to sub consciously keep fighting cause i knew i had something precious to come back too…”

YN: “please come back soon. i can’t express into enough words how much i miss having you around. this lab is too big for just one person. besides this work would go alot faster with another person.”

Barry laughed hearing you try to sweet talk him into coming back early. 

Barry: “well what are you working on now? cataloging or closing?”

YN: “cataloging, and its annoying cause Singh won’t ease up on how much work he is giving me… i have currently several boxes full of different cases, but alot of these have the csi listed as you, are signed with your signature, i haven’t been able to think about anything else since you got struck by lightning, i have forgotten to clean the apartment most days so now i’ve hired a maid service for us, for our apartment, i know there is nothing else i can possibly say right now that will make you come back any faster but i will say this, when you get back there will be alot of hugs & lots of dancing in the rain. like we did the night of our high school graduation.”

Barry: “lots of dancing in the rain definately. but i gotta go unfortunately the doctor wants to run more tests… physical tests but i’ll be out soon and then i’ll give you the biggest hug ever.”

You blew a kiss into the phone and watched the screen go black. the call ended, the overwhelming sense of happiness that you were feeling at that moment, was a lot better than what you had been feeling when you had been by yourself this morning. 

you finished cataloging 3 more files of paper and then made the effort to go check in with the captain before you left for the day. it was twilight when you left the station. 

of course you had taken your time with cataloging you might have even cataloged a bit more than you had hoped to do, but there was no shortage of good thoughts on your mind. 

now there had been alot of things on your mind before hand, you had so much more on your mind now. Barry was gonna be so surprised when he got back home. of course however when Barry would finally come home would be the first time in forever that you might actually want to tell him of your feelings or vise versa. 

you stopped to pick up some dinner but you couldnt keep your mind off the fact that Barry would soon be back by your side where he belonged.

meanwhile at star labs…

Barry: “how many more tests do we have to run? honestly i got a life to get back too.”

Caitlin: “you will be allowed to leave as soon as you perfect your control of your super speed. which if you complete this next simulation, you will hopefully have full control and be back home by tomorrow morning.”

Barry: “ugh, i have a girl that ive been in love with since we were in school together and i can’t survive the rest of my life, if i never have the courage to tell her how i really feel. look she has been bullied since we were in high school by these 2 idiots who now work in the ccpd. i hate the thought of her facing each day working with those 2 goons.”

Caitlin could only do so much more, so after 4 more hours of testing Barry’s abilities and vitals she realized that no matter what test she put him through, within those 4 hours he worked even harder and gained serious amounts of control over his abilities. 

Caitlin: “we are just about ready to send you home but there is something else that we would like you to do, we think you should become a hero…”

Barry: “i’ll think about it now can i please…”

thats when the star labs alarm went off… heading to the cortex, barry and caitlin met up with wells and cisco to find out the cause of the alarm. on the monitor it showed a dark barely lit alley with what looked to be a woman leaning scared against the wall with about 6 guys. 

Cisco: “im just about to pull up the audio footage…”

as soon as cisco pulled up the audio Barry took off in a black hoodie and red lightning.

in the alley

YN: “stay back leave me alone, one push of a button and this alley would be swarming with cops.”

attacker 1: “well then do it, it will make this more of a party…”

Attacker 3: “let see what she is wearing under neath that coat!”

but it was like a blur, a red, yellow blur of lightning a figure knocking away those goons before they could  surround you anymore. but you hadnt time to thank this blur before he disappeared…  for the rest of your walk home, there wasnt any noise that you heard on that walk home that didn’t make you shake…

quarter way from your apartment

it wasn’t till you arrived on the home stretch that a familiar shadow was sitting on the steps of your building’s entry way. 

Barry: “hey…”

Your brain didnt register the voice at first till their form stood and moved towards you, forcing you to stop dead in your tracks… your body already quivering, made your knees buckle from beneath you right then and there you dropped to your knees in fear… 

Barry having seen this, knowing what you went through knowing also that he couldnt say anything about what happened nor him saving you. but instead only walked a bit more till he was half visible in the street light.

you hadn’t stopped watching his form but yet still now standing right there, now under the street light your eyes now registered the voice to the figure now standing a few feet away.

YN: “Barry…”

you got up off the ground immediately and ran straight for his embrace, realizing that you were now starting to spout tears of joy…

Barry: “shh shh its okay…”

YN: “your home... but i thought...”

Barry: “they let me go early... so i got a taxi here and ive been waiting here for you to come home ever since...”

you pulled back to look at him and then went to the front door and opened it, letting both of you inside... Barry & you didn’t stop starring at eachother the entire way inside, it was nerve wrecking for both of you...

once in the apartment you had to turn away from Barry for a moment ashamed of the strewn case files everywhere.. 

Barry: “its like i never left... case files everywhere, take out on the counter.. dishes on the drying mat... let me guess the bed isnt made and the laundry is waiting to be folded...”

YN: “is it that obvious...”

Barry nodded but instantly went to work, putting trash in the trash and dishes in the cupboard... it really was like he never left... you removed your coat and your heels taking a sigh of relief... then going over to a small gift box with every single letter you had written for Barry since he had got struck by lightning.

Barry: “what ya got there...”

you brought the box over to Barry and handed it to him... 

YN: “i wrote you a letter one for every single day you were gone... they contain my thoughts, feelings, and wishes... also they tell you what happened while you were well in coma... just keep an open mind when you read them... im gonna go put on a face mask and get into something less work related... then maybe you can help me sort through these case files.”

Barry: “of course... i cant even imagine what kind of torment you went through when i was gone...”

You instantlly thought about what happened many numerous times, being sexualized and bullied and teased and pushed around. it didnt make being without barry easy but all you could do was tough it up... 

YN: “it was torture... and today wasnt much better i was chased and cornered in an alley on the way home, i was almost raped...”

you say as your walking towards the bedroom, upon hearing this though barry follows in suit, bringing his laundry bag and places it in the pile by the door. your sitting on the bed when he finally catches up to you. 

Barry: “what do you mean you almost got raped tonight?”

YN: “i mean i was walking home and i almost got raped in an alley a couple blocks away... but a red lightning blur saved me... i was able to escape... but im shaken beyond belief.”

Barry: “you are gonna be okay, now just relax... im not going anywhere...”

Barry got out of his sweater and took off his socks coming up behind you, he pulls you into his embrace and you sob uncontrollably against his chest, knowing that now he was home and you could finally rest easy.

both you and Barry now relaxing into a calm environment Barry looks at the box that he had put on his side of the bed... the box with all the letters you had written him... so with his free hand he opens the box, and begins to read the first letter...

YN (letter 1): “Barry, its been literally 24 hours since you got struck by lightning... i’m slowly getting into a different routine... one that right now till you wake up or even if you wake up.. ugh barry there are alot of things i wish i could have had the courage to tell you before but i guess telling you like this is better than not telling you at all... i love you Barry Allen... those bullies in school and at the precinct they were right to call us bf/gf... i know that you probably won’t feel the same but i hope this also doesn’t change our friendship... i really miss you... oh ya i did say precinct, Singh gave me a job as temp csi... just until we know more about whether or not you wake up...i hope you wake up soon... its gonna be torture without you around. love YN.”

Barry set that one aside to open the next one... 

YN (letter 2): “Barry, i cant take this... today i started a filing system of all the case files and stuff. i was handed a bunch of boxes and things today... of old cases and forensics that you had aparently signed off on... i still haven’t brought myself the courage to come see you yet... i know it may be foolish but i know if i come by i’ll cry. i cant do that... i’ve cried enough to last a life time between all the bullying and you being comatose, im trying to find a safe haven in anything familiar. anyway hope you come home soon. love YN.”

thats when Barry decided to stop reading for the night... he closed the box and put it on his nightstand. cuddling up still holding you he too fell into a deep slumber.

the next morning 

he woke as you did to the sound of an obnoxious buzzing, you knew it was your phone and thus moved to grab it off your nightstand, you answered it putting it on speaker.

YN: “yeah...”

Singh: “there is a case its fresh, and ripe still can you come down?”

YN: “yeah i can text me the address.”

thats when you hung up the call, knowing that your own demise would be showing up to work knowing that barry was home and not there with you... now Barry having heard your conversation  with singh got up and started getting into a clean shirt and packing his csi bag as well as yours. 

YN: “Barry what are you doing?”

Barry: “whats it look like.... im coming with you...”

You got up going behind the changing cover grabbing your capris and your fave halter with the built in bra...

YN: “dont you want to take it easy? i mean you only just spent your first night back last night...”

Barry: “when have you ever known me to take it easy?”

You stopped for a moment amidst putting on your shirt...

YN: “never... but thats not the point  you should relax...”

Barry: “no what i need to do is come with you and show those bullies that you are not to be messed with...”

you were grateful to barry for that, but you still were concerned... you finished getting dressed and came out from the cover going over to Barry giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

YN: “thank you for being so concerned for me... ill be ready to go in a few minutes...”

you went into the bathroom and started on your hair, like normal Barry came in behind you after you finished brushing the hair, Barry began to braid your hair, for he knew it was difficult with such long hair to self braid, so for as long as you could remember.

Barry: “almost ready to go?”

you pulled out your phone and opened the jitters app and this time ordered 2 cappuccinos with extra whip & Chocolate drizzle... you knew the order would be ready by the time you guys got there...

you put on your shoes and smiled wide as arm in arm you exited the apartment with Barry. it made you feel normal once more. walking down the street towards jitters, Barry walking in stride with you inside jitters everyone there was impressed. they started clapping. 

the waitress handed you and Barry the cappuccinos and that when your phone dinged it was Singh with the address. you showed it to Barry who walked ahead of you to open the door of Jitters and walk out the door with you.

Barry: “lets go and see this crime scene... its just up the block...”

approaching the crime scene, you and Barry flashed your badges. officers starred at you guys, some of them clapped and welcomed Barry back...

Singh: “so this is your daily surprise! welcome back Barry!”

Barry: “than you Captain... for also looking after YN while i was gone... i know i have alot to make up for but i hope i can start by helping sweep the area for clues.”

Singh: “well then ill leave my 2 best csi’s to their jobs and ill expet a detailed report on your findings...”

you and barry nod, beginning to survey the scene. you went after prints and a few other things. Barry took photos of the scene, there was alot of blood and torn off limbs. 

YN: “whatever did this must have enjoyed themselves?”

Barry: “must have but wha...”

Barry kneels down and sighs...

Barry: “YN come here and bring gloves with sample collectors.”

you brought over the gloves and sample collectors, but saw the horror before your eyes at what appeared to be shedded skin. you and Barry decided to contain as much of it as possible, for testing and further investigation.

YN: “it looks like someone shed this like a snake...”

Barry: “it does but lets collect all the other evidence and head to the lab, we need to start on this ASAP!”

YN: “i cant wait to start this with you... i look forward to it. lets go... wait till you see the new filing system that ive done with the lab...”

Barry smiles walking back and grabbing both of your bags and walking back to you grabbing both your pairs of gloves and throwing them in the trash both yo and barry get a heroes escort back to the station. 

walking inside you felt safe, those bullies who had bullied you day in and day out didnt dare to bother you then for it became immediately clear that they wouldnt be able to touch you.

you led Barry up the stairs to the lab so familiar to both of you now. it was Barry who spoke about how the lab looked.

Barry: “i assume that you made these organizational changes cause it would be easier for us!”

YN: “yep, is that ok?”

Barry: “yep, now lets start the analysis!”

you and barry working together analyzing evidence something you had only dreamed about for the passed 9 months. but something didnt seem right, something seemed off... 

you went over to the computer while barry was getting lunch and accessed the street cam from the alley where you were attacked, you cut the clip of who or whatever saved you but something was off, you didnt know what...

Barry came back with food and saw you looking at the blur photo, he then realized that if something wasnt said soon, you were gonna probably never believe him... 

this however is when things fell apart... the entire lab went dark, Barry tripped over a chair dropping your shared lunch, then a figure with a slight glow about them appeared behind you and whisked you out of the lab with you screaming and kicking but it didnt do any good. 

this left Barry very distraught, this was what he was afraid of...  he used his speed to leave out of the fire escape and ran to star labs.

Barry: “you guys think i should be a hero well here is my chance to find out if i can be one... my friend, the one i spoke to on the phone, the one that i saved from being raped in that alley, the one that wrote me a letter for every single day i was in acoma, the one who in her first letter admitted she loved me, she just got kidnapped from our work, from our office, i need to get her back...”

Cisco:  “i have just the thing that you can use to conceal your identity to save your girl.”

cisco pressed a button and revealed a red suit with a lightning bolt logo. 

Cisco: “it will not burn nor crisp, it will move with you and allow your electrical current through your body, as well as communicate with us here, and it will also..”

Caitlyn: “it will also allow us to monitor your vitals and health in battle, as well as it gives us the ability to shock resuscitate you should anything happen to knock you unconscious.”

Wells: “we will be right here if you need us mr allen. Now Run Barry Run!”

Barry runs in a flash of red and yellow lightning to the suit and back out the door. Cisco pinged your location sending it to Barry, who runs faster finding that he can’t help but feel somewhat responsible for this.

Barry: “hold on YN im coming.”

meanwhile

in an abandoned werehouse near the docks you were being dangled by a chain over a big cylinder of some sort of stinky liquid. one of the bullies from the precinct was standing above you he was glowing, then he stepped into the light.

YN: “you killed those people, you shedded your skin... what the hell do you want?”

Carl: “well thats simple, i want to mate... see did you know that a reptile needs to mate every spring and sometimes its with their own offspring... well your not my offspring but you will do for the mating ritual, just have to make you like me first.”

you screamed as he dove toward you and shredded your capri’s and then dove into the stinky liquid below. you were horrified you tried to climb the chain but it didnt work, it was about 10 minutes later when the bully Carl came out of the liquid. 

Carl walked off the platform and over to the control panel he swings the chain probably making himself hard on hearing you scream, but that was also the moment when he grabbed you mid swing and pinned you to the platform.

at that moment something else came onto the werehouse property... or rather someone, someone who just so happened to hear you scream...

Flash: “hey lizard breath let her go...”

Carl: “why should i take orders from a man dressed in spandex?”

Flash: “first, of all its leather and second, thats not how you treat a lady.”

carl  just went back to roaming his hands along your body and all Barry could see was red, he took a risk and ran up the ladder and bowled into carl, though doing that caused you to go flying.

the chain came loose you were starting to slowly descend towards the liquid below. this cause another scream to leave your mouth, Barry upon hearing this takes a running leap of faith, catching you mid air he lands by the entrance holding you in his arms. 

Flash: “are you alright?”

YN: “i knew you would come for me... yes im okay... a little disoriented but am okay... but find him, he cannot be allowed to escape justice.”

Flash: “dont worry he wont...”

flash sets you down on your feet and speeds back inside, you hear a couple distorted grunts and then a woosh comes passed you. suddenly the same blur that saved you from the alley way the other night was now standing right in front of you.

Flash: “ive sent a anonymous call to the ccpd, they are dispatching some officeers to collect him when they do they will take him to Belle Reeve cause clearly he needs psychological and physical attention. but ccpd will be here soon, is there some place i can take you?”

YN: “i left my stuff in my lab back at ccpd, there is a fire exit at the back of the building, you can get in through there, its on the second floor. plus my csi partner and best friend will be worried about me, he is a little over protective, you know he has that over protective demenor that just makes me swoon whenever he is around. i’m so sorry you probably dont want to hear about this.”

Flash: “its okay, i kinda know how you feel, but lets get you back to your lab... can i carry you?”

You nod your head feeling strange but yet it didnt occur to yoou till your vision started to blur... Barry noticed it right away his visible features flooding with concern.

Flash: “hold on, miss, miss...”

Barry ran all the way to Central City General, where he proceeded to run you inside placing you in the care of some nurses he carefully but yet a bit quickly explained what happened. you had your ID in your shirt and you happened to still have your badge around your neck... 

they knew exactly who you were... the nurses took charge of you, Barry however left his ccell number with them as an emergency contact for her... he then went and ran back to star labs where he dropped off the suit and ran back to ccpd...

Singh walked in to find Barry lying on the floor unconcious... Barry having only been like that a few moments woke up slowly to singh shaking him gently...

Barry: “captain YN was taken it was carl and...”

Singh: “we know we have carl in custody who keeps raving on about a red and yellow blur rescuing YN...”

thats of course when Barry’s phone rang... 

Barry: “Barry Allen...”

Nurse 1: “Mr Allen My Name is Niomi, i am calling from Centra City General in regards to a YN YLN she was brought in by a guy in a red leather suit anyway she has been tested for a positive for snake venom... we are working on a cure, but can you come down?”

Barry having heard this, his face swarmed with panic flooding his initial facials... 

Barry: “oh god ill be there as quickly as i can... does she need anything?”

Niomi: “we got her a change of clothes from the gift shop on the house, but we do need to see her medical card and verify a few things... but mostly i think she would love it if you were here.”

Barry: “ill be there soon, my police captain is coming as well. thank you.”

Barry and Singh were out the door  faster than a speeding bullet, Singh used the siren to bypass all the evening traffic, arriving at the hospital they parked and ran inside. 

Naiomi instantly recognized the worried look on Barry’s face.

Naomi: “you must be barry...”

Barry: “where is she? ill verify anything that needs, ill sign whatever needs just let me see her please...”

Singh placed a hand on Barry’s shoulder and smiled lightly...

Singh: “ill verify and sign papers and information for YN, Barry you should be at her side...”

Barry: “thank you captain.”

Singh walks up to the desk, while Barry is led by Naomi to the room where you were solely placed. Barry’s expression was written clear on his face, he was seeing you the way you had probably seen him when he fell into coma. 

Barry: “please tell me what you guys can do to fix this?”

Naomi: “We are mixing more of the cure as we speak, the cdc is set up here already we had a few other cases like YN so we have been manufacturing it all day... its only a few hours away from being done. not to worry Barry, we willl do everything in our power to cure her, so you can tell her you love her..”

Barry looked at Naomi shocked...

Barry: “how did you...?”

Naomi: “simple ive seen enough people with pent up feelings of love to know the look when i see it... believe me mr Allen she is gonna be fine.”

Barry: “am i allowed to crawl into the bed and cuddle her in my lap, i wont knock out any of the cords i just want to hold her...”

Naomi: “come remove your shoes and place them on the chair with your coat and bag, ill help you get comfortable holding her so we can still have access to her IV for administering the cure.”

Barry did as asked, crawling into the bed holding you as he did, Naomi placed a blanket over both of you and turned the light on low. she left the room, Barry placed his phone on the table beside the bed. 

Barry: “im so sorry YN... i should have used my abilities, you shouldnt have been taken, not when i know i could have saved you. come on YN wake up, baby...”

Barry was lost in holding you close that he soon lost track of time, for a few short hours had passed before Naomi came into the room, Barry looked up his eyes blood shot from his having been crying. Naomi walked over to the IV Bag and replaced the bag and nodded at Barry whose eyes lit up.

Barry: “thats the...”

Naomi: “yes thats the cure. we will know if it worked within a few hours, try to get some rest Barry, when she wakes she will tell you i’m sure.”

Barry watched Naomi leave the room and gently leaned down to kiss your forehead...

Barry: “please come back to me, i love you...”

Barry knew how to tell if you were awake, he leaned the bed back almost all the way before he allowed sleep to over take him. it had once more been several hours before Barry was felt you move in his arms. 

you had been awake for a little bit but didnt move till now cause you wanted to enjoy being in Barry’s grasp.

Barry: “your awake!”

YN: “shhh not so loud, ive got a bit of a headache.”

Barry kissed your forehead gently and you stayed in his arm till you moved slightly and felt the iv start to sting... Barry helped you press the call button and Naomi came in...

Naomi: “YN glad to see your awake, i’m Naomi ive been looking after you. what can i do for you?”

YN: “im pretty sure the iv isnt supposed to be stinging is it?”

Naomi comes over to take a look...

Naomi: “it got a little out of place not to worry ill take care of that... you both can continue your little conversation...”

Barry and you watched Naomi fix your iv and put a new bag on before she left, you had been able to tell for a while now that Barry had something to tell you...

YN: “spill Barry... what is it that you want to tell me?”

Barry: “what do you remember about what happened to you?”

you had to think about it while leaning your head closer to Barry’s chest, the flashes of last nights events came rushing back at you.

YN: “carl was the shedding monster, he scratched me, he tried to rape me... Barry it was awful...”

Barry: “anything else..?”

YN: “yes there was a man, in red, with lightning speed, he saved me before i could hit the acid or whatever was in that container. he had this look about him like he knew me... like he was somewhat protective of me... but of course no where near as protective as you are Barry. why do you ask?”

Barry: “what if i told you that when i got struck by lightning it changed me...”

you looked up at Barry almost flooded with concern before you realized that ya it wouldnt surprise you if it did.

YN: “Barry any traumatic experience such as getting poisoned or getting struck by lightning changes a person drastically...”

Barry breathed in slightly before speaking again.

Barry: “what if i told you that getting struck by lightning it gave me abilities... ones that would allow me to lets say save you from getting raped in an alleyway, or from getting turned into snake woman...”

YN: “what if i said that i heard what you said last night...”

Barry: “you heard me say what...”

YN: “that you should have used your abilities, that i shouldnt have been taken, i heard you call me baby, i also heard you say 3 more words to me. but before we get into that... why wouldnt you have told me that you were the person who saved me right off the hop...”

Barry: “cause i didnt know if it would change how you felt about me. i read 2 of your letters the night i came home. i know how you feel about me... for many years YN ive stood by your side as your best friend and i always well, i was just kinda hoping that you’d... well ya know... fall in love with me...”

you smile and reach up with your not iv’d arm and cup Barry’s face... the glow in his eyes was only ever seen one other time before this moment by you, that was the night of your guys high school graduation where you both shared a drunken quiet moment in the school garden.

anyway long story short, Barry leaned into your touch and smiled.

Barry: “i love you YN...”

the kissing began quite quickly...

[flamehairedwritings]

Cups

Characters: Chief Jim Hopper x Female Reader

Words: 1,661

Rating: M, 16+ ONLY

A/N: Hello! Welcome to Christmas Drabbles 2018! For the next seven days I’ll be posting a drabble every dang day with a festive theme. I hope you enjoy and happy holidays!

Summary: Based on the prompt ‘Character A and Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas Party’, by @alloftheprompts

MASTERLIST

CHRISTMAS DRABBLES 2018 MASTERLIST

Please don’t copy, steal or repost my work; credit does not count.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Oh, here we go.

“Excuse me?”

Arching an eyebrow, you place your hands on your hips as you turn to the source of the gruff voice.

Chief Jim Hopper looks at you incredulously, his hands also on his hips.

“What. The hell. Are you doing?” he repeats in that slow way that immediately makes you feel like a complete idiot.

Clenching your jaw, you raise your eyebrows. “What does it look like, Chief Hopper?”

“It looks like you’re hangin’ tinsel on the holding cells.”

“Oh, so your eyes do work.”

You turn back to your task, a hint of a smug smirk on your lips as you hear him exhale a long breath. You were always able to push your luck because what could he do? Fire you? Yeah, well, maybe, but on what grounds? Stating the truth?

Just try me, Hopper.

You were always just that little step ahead, and he hated it.

“You can’t hang tinsel on the holding cells.”

“Do please tell me why.”

You can practically hear his teeth grinding together. “That’s where we keep suspected or confirmed criminals. We can’t have it lookin’... Jolly.”

“Yes, we can.” You finish sticking two ends of tinsel together and step down from the chair.

And you leave your response at that.

Turning away from him, you move back to the box of decorations, rummaging through it for the multi-coloured lights you’d seen and fallen in love with earlier. Finding them, horrendously tangled, you thrust them in Hopper’s direction, not looking at him.

“Do something useful and untangle these.”

You hear that deep, irritating sigh of exasperation as he takes them and sits down heavily in the nearest chair, getting to work as he mutters under his breath.

If only he’d known Flo had also picked you to decorate the Station. He would have stayed right the hell away. Maybe even gone across to another state. Taken a whole damn week off so he didn’t have to see or think about you.

What he wouldn’t give for one day of relief.

“Come on, honey, come and dance.”

Smiling widely at Flo, you shake your head, your bell earrings tinkling with the motion. “No, I’m all right, thank you, Flo. Maybe after I’ve had a few more of these.” You raise your cup a little. “Then I’ll be able to dance like, oh, what did our delightful chief call it last year... A newborn foal with roller-skates on.” 

Flo tuts as she moves closer to your side. “Like he can dance any better. Oh, no, I mean, you are a good dancer, honey,” she swiftly continues when you arch an eyebrow. “Oh, you know what I mean. Oh, if only you two would get along, you have so much in common.”

You snort, raising your cup to your lips. “Yeah, well, he should apologise.”

“Can’t you just let it go and shake hands?”

“I’m not that big a person, Flo.”

It had been three years since you’d started. Three years since The Incident. Since... Since he’d... What had he said again... Urgh, you can’t remember the specifics but it was something incredibly patronising and you hadn’t just let it slide and it had snowballed from there and here you are today.

Staring across the office floor at him.

Your skin prickling in that way it always does when he’s near.

Your heart beating just that little bit faster.

Unable to stop staring at him.

“‘nother beer, Chief?”

Hopper lifts his gaze from his nearly empty bottle to the one Powell holds out to him.

“Yeah, thanks.” Setting the one in his hand down on the table, he accepts the fresh bottle, raising it to his lips for a sip. 

Powell stands at his side, gazing out at the cramped dance floor you had somehow made the space for, desks and chairs shoved aside.

“Hey, didn’t she wear that dress at the Thanksgiving party?”

Calvin Powell looks to his chief, then to you, then back to Hopper. “Yeah, I think so. Why?”

“Dunno, just...” Hopper shrugs, lifting the bottle to his lips again as he mumbles, “Make an effort, you know.”

Powell raises his eyebrows. “Says the guy who wears the same shirt to everything.”

“Yeah, but, you know... Women,” Hop finishes weakly, wincing slightly in instant regret.

Powell’s eyebrows rise even higher. “’Women’?”

Apparently relenting to the fact he has to commit to the words that somehow came out of his mouth, Hopper clears his throat and shrugs. “Yeah... Women.”

His officer stares at him. “Uh-huh. Women... Mystifying, aren’t they?”

“Mhm.”

“Annoying when you can’t figure ‘em out, isn’t it?” He watches Hopper stare at you, watching you converse with Flo.

“Mhm.”

“And it’s even more annoying when you wanna go over there, ask ‘em if you can get ‘em a drink and apologise for being a damn idiot all the time.”

“Mhm─” Hopper’s gaze flicks over to him, his eyes narrowing.

Powell shrugs.

Clearing his throat, Hopper opens his mouth, to say what he has no God damn clue, when his eyes find their way back to you and you’re heading into his office.

“What in the hell...” he mutters, irritation swiftly rising within him as he sets his bottle down and strides after you, leaving Powell staring after him.

“How can we have run out of cups already? Hopper was meant─ Well, there we go actually, Hopper was in charge, that’s how we have.” Exhaling a short breath of frustration, you then smile at Flo and pat her shoulder gently as you pass. “I’m gonna go and get some cups.”

Placing your cup down on the nearest desk, you round it and push through the small swing door leading to Hopper’s office. Opening the door, you head inside, not bothering to turn the light on.

Hopper being Hopper, he’d vehemently opposed you using his office as a decoration base but you’d ignored him and stored boxes in there when he hadn’t been looking. Which had actually been easy to do because he never looked. Not that you minded. One bit.

Surveying the array of boxes, you try and remember which ones the cups were in.

Oh, God, where the hell has he put them...

“What are you doing?”

You exhale a low, exasperated sound, opening the nearest box and starting to search through it. “Getting more cups, officer.”

“Did you not put enough out?”

“The drinks table was your jurisdiction, Hopper, it’s the only thing you got excited about. The most excited I’ve ever seen you, actually, I didn’t know it was possible.”

“I get excited about things.”

“Yeah, like what?”

“Knowing you’re not gonna be in.”

You snort.

Wait, what.

You hadn’t been able to help it. You’d snorted. And not a dismissive snort. An amused snort.

And neither of you know what to do.

So you both ignore it.

Clearing your throat and mercifully finding the cups, you pull them out, turn and move to the door, pushing the wrapped stack into Hopper’s hands as you pass him.

You’re so close to the door, so close to freedom and pretending that never happened, when Callahan appears in the doorway.

“Oh, shiiit, look who’s under the mistletoe!” he grins, dangling the fake arrangement above your head.

“Oh, God, never, Phil,” you reply, incredibly grateful for the distraction and trying so hard not to smile.

“Nah, c’mon, you two.”

“‘You tw─”

In taking a step back from Callahan, you meet a hard wall behind you. 

Not a wall.

A Hopper.

The Chief clears his throat. “No, Callahan.”

“Come on, just a lil’ peck.”

“Calla─”

“Smooch, smooch.”

“Phil─“

He raises the mistletoe higher. “I won’t let you pass and I reckon I could take you both on. Get in to the Christmas spirit, guys, c’mon.”

“Christ, fine,” you mutter.

You tilt your head back and lift your chin to kiss Hopper on the cheek to just get this over with... but he’s turned his head, too. 

Your lips meet his.

Gently.

Gently? 

God, you thought kissing Hopper would be uncoordinated, he’s a complete mess of a man, frankly, but this is... This is nice, no, wait, anyway, you don’t spend a lot of time thinking about kissing him so─

Your lips are still against his. You haven’t pulled back. And neither has he.

He seems to realise it the same moment you do.

Drawing your head back so quickly you almost strain a muscle, you stare at him as he stares at you.

Even Callahan goes quiet for once.

For a few seconds.

“Okay, who’s next!” he calls out as he turns and zones in on the next victim.

You and Hopper are still looking at each other.

Your cheeks feel warm and his mouth is open, like he’s fighting for something to say.

He finds it. “Right.”

“Right.”

“Okay.”

You want to kiss him again.

Oh, God.

Clearing your throat, you nod and turn away, start walking, pause in the doorway, and then clear your throat again.

“Put the cups on the table, Hopper.”

“Yep.”

Lifting your gaze, you find him still looking at you.

Oh, God.

“Okay, so I’ll─”

“Actually...”

You blink, slightly startled that he’s interrupted your attempt to leave this situation he should no doubt be also finding awkward. 

There’s something in his eyes, though, something that you can’t look away from.

“... I remember tellin’ you you couldn’t put all this shit in here.” He drops the stack of cups into a box beside him as he moves towards you, and you don’t move.

Standing before you, looking down at you, he reaches behind you and pushes the door shut.

Suddenly, pressed against him, your head leaning back against the door, you can name what’s lingering in his gaze.

Lust.

And you know he can see it in your eyes, too.

“What are you going to do about it, Chief?”

“Somethin’ I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged or removed in my future work!

Tagged: @persephone-divine, @billyrussosbutt, @davidkharboursex, @jobean12-blog, @warmbeardsandredwine, @mademoiselle-black, @scrunchinn, @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash, @divadinag, @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan, @deepsouth, @neganslittlebae, @ashphoenix105, @alahmorah, @daughterofthebrowncoats, @letsby, @tbkc, @kiwiphroot, @ashmely, @sistasarah-sallysaidso, @unicornsandgliiitter, @lucifer-in-leather, @fearandloathing-in-missouri, @heyjudeinthesky, @sleepylunarwolf, @ambeazyyy, @countryfire22, @sithlordslut, @mondsafari, @thejealousorchard, @norcula, @earinafae, @beltzboys2015-blog, @jinxiejenna, @justsimplevicky, @hellosupernaturaldoctor, @ginasellsbooks, @dwarvenbunnyears, @vale0413, @mrslydiaholden, @kimberliinabox, @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly, @allylupin, @cant-shake-this-feeling-off, @the-bitch-gotham-deserves, @warriorqueen1991, @thesurestthing, @zuni21798,  @quietlovelovely, @maddieisaboredable, @windinyoursnail, @happy-hopper, @yedi16, @negansdirtygirl22, @slipperywhenwetsstuff, @crushed-pink-petals, @madkskillz

[angrylizardjacket]

Holding Court In A Crown {Roger Taylor}

Sequel to And All The Queen’s Men {Roger Taylor}

A/N: 3630 words. Giselle is fun to write and I love her. Another article style, based off of many conversations between @ginghampearlsnsweettea and I. Let me know what you think.

[And All The Queen’s Men ‘verse masterpost]

HOLDING COURT IN A CROWN - GISELLE TAYLOR in conversation with Vogue UK about her fashion evolution through the decades. (Published June, 1991)

When stepping into the Taylor home, it becomes immediately apparent that this is a home in which public image has always been very important. Gold and Platinum albums alike line the front foyer, shining reminders of the achievements of both artists who reside here. It’s surprisingly modern, hardwood floors and large windows that allow light to stream in, though the house itself is smaller than one might expect. Giselle herself greets me in the front hall, looking carefully casual in a flattering, warm yellow summer dress, that hits just above her knees, and a pair of matching yellow slip on shoes.

I’m lead through the house, past closed doors, one of which I’m told is a personal recording studio, into a open-planned kitchen-dining area. It’s a strange marriage of two aesthetics, no pun intended, the German-inspired open planned living with the dark counters, appliances, and features that make the space feel a little smaller, though it comes together to make something modern and chic, and perfectly suited to both Giselle and her husband’s images.

“Roger’s with the girls,” she tells me, referring to her daughters, pouring us both a glass of water in some of the fanciest crystal glasses I’ve ever seen, “not that he wouldn’t jump at the chance to talk about his “fashion choices”,” her air quotes, not mine, “but I thought I’d spare you the half hour argument about the wine stain, and all the other, sundry fashion choices of mine that he likes to take credit for.”

Giselle herself admits that she’s always been very fortunate in terms of fashion, “I mean, I look good in everything,” though there’s an air of self deprecation about it, “Actually, I’ve had a certain liberty with my work attire that not a lot of people have, unless you’re in the entertainment industry.” What began with a rented cocktail dress bloomed into one of the most influential fashion timelines of the 70s and 80s.

Beginning her career in an establishment modeled after American prohibition-era speakeasies, Giselle started off wearing cocktail dresses rented from the pub itself. “I actually did start off as a waitress, but for that you just had to provide your own black pants and white top, you know, wait-staff attire.” When the pub’s regular singer leaves, Giselle auditions to be her replacement, “they were just grateful I could fit into her dress, I could lipsync for all they cared.” Except, as well all know, Giselle can sing, and begun to make a name for herself in the community that frequented the pub.

Pulling out a polaroid of herself and music industry giant Ray Forrester, she shows me the only proof she has of the dress that started it all. It’s a rather ill-fitting, wine-coloured, sateen slip dress, it looks cheap, and according to Giselle, “it itched like crazy, it was cleaned once a week, and I was just glad that I was the only singer, some of the members of the jazz band had interchangeable costumes.” We both shudder at that, and she puts the photo on the counter.

As soon as she was given some modicum of control over her wardrobe, she took full advantage of it. Without a coherent aesthetic solidified by the release of her first album, Giselle admits she used the tour for Velvet Roses to experiment with both fabrics and styles. I personally have always favoured the midnight blue, velvet bouffant-style dress she wore during her stops in Belfast and Paris, but she goes on to praise the white, silk slip dress she had during her stop in West Berlin.

“Silk! Oh the silk, I dream about that dress sometimes,” she laughs a little, and now that we’ve begun to discuss her tour outfits, she leads me upstairs, “at the time it was the most comfortable thing I’d worn… ever; being able to work, to perform in something so luxury? It was a blessing.”

Her closet, at least the closet she stores her tour garments in, is separate from her bedroom, and locked. She’s got the key in her pocket, prepared, of course, for the interview, and as we step in I can hear the hum of a dehumidifier, and feel the chill of the air conditioning.

“It’s my one real extravagance.” As she turns on the lights, we’re greeted to the sight of a room, approximately four meters deep and half as wide, lined with railings that are practically stuffed with garment bags of varying sizes, and the end of the little room has a built in area for her jewel toned and bejewelled shoes alike. Three mannequins pose in the ample amount of space in the centre of the room, each wearing one of her most iconic outfits.

Each section of the racks around the side are carefully labelled by year, and it takes only a moment for Giselle to go through the section labelled 1971 before she’s pulling that same white dress from a garment bag. It still looks pristine, and when she offers for me to feel it, I understand what she’s saying.

“I’ve always tried to keep a very high standard in term of the materials I wear,” it was the first part of her aesthetic identity that was formed. “I’d never really had access to luxury on this scale before; I’d lived in sweaters and jeans for most of my [university] days; I was one of those girls in the little skirts and beaded tops at clubs- I lived my life in gogo boots every weekend of my first year.” Apparently she still has her favourite pair in the back of her personal closet, but seems hesitant to show me.

When asked what prompted her aesthetic shift, she reveals her passion for luxury stage-wear was only part of the decision. “I’d go on stage in silk pyjamas like Hugh Hefner if I could, but it’s not my brand.” Forrester was a big motivating force behind her solidification as the picture of elegance.

We get to the first of the mannequin dresses now, the fitted, black, off the shoulder cocktail dress, shining with sequins and beads, a perfect frozen reminder of her performance on Top of the Pops. To see it in person, still pristine, I get hit with just a hint of nostalgia, as does Giselle herself it seems. Marvelling at it with arms crossed over her chest, I’m granted a closer look at what was quite possibly the most iconic outfit of the 1972 lineup on the hit British musical program. The gloves themselves are more intricate than first imagined; what was assumed to just be red glitter is actually hand stitched, red sequins from the tips of the finger all the way to the wrist where it fades to chunky, red glitter, glued on and somehow width standing the test of time, to then dissolve into fine and sparsely scattered red glitter from the mid-forearm to the elbow. The beads and sequins on the dress itself are affixed with barely noticeable, shiny red thread, that gives the dress dimension up close. Giselle cites Gothic Romanticism as an inspiration to add depth to her jazz-bar persona, as well as the theatrics of musical theatre, going so far as to called the dress the ‘Merry Murderess’ despite the fact that the musical Chicago premiered almost three years after the dress’ initial debut.

Despite this look being regarded as one of her classics, and therefore setting the standard for her public image for the years to come, there’s no denying that Giselle didn’t enjoy experimenting with her outfits.

“I’ve never technically worn pants on stage,” as we move further into the room, she begins to pull various garment bags from the racks seemingly at random, “skirts, skorts, shorts - which some might argue are close enough - dresses, and even full jumpsuits, but never actual pants; I’ve always been worried that they were too masculinising for my act.” Moving on to the rack labeled 1975, she pulls out a particularly slim bag, and from it she pulls a pair of shorts made of what looks like liquid gold, but I know is made of velvet, with suspenders to match. It hangs over a sheer, flowing, cream crop-top with bell sleeves.

This outfit is cited as the first time she had deviated from her skirts and dresses, though the outfit itself is still exquisite and has an air of regality. “I was in Phoenix in ‘74 when I wore this; I’d had it included in my repertoire for the Hand Held Heart tour in case it became especially hot,  which, being Arizona in the summertime, it was.” It’s here we start to see the influence of other artists bleed into her work; the occasional feathery flamboyance borrowed from Elton John, the avant-garde pattern and makeup work popularised by David Bow, and of course, the extravagance and glitz of Queen’s Freddie Mercury.

“You always have to specify that it’s [Freddie Mercury],” she’s very serious on this point, holding up her iconic, short, incredibly sheer white, long-sleeved fitted dress, marbled with red sequins to protect her modesty. It’s reminiscent of the red and white shorts Mercury had been known to favour on tours. “The others, while, yes, they could be well dressed on occasion, [Roger Taylor]’s lime green jeans aside, they never had the flair or audacity that Freddie had to be truly influential.”

After recording a cover of Queen’s Jesus for her third album, Giselle entered into an unofficial partnership with the band, which she tells me included a collaboration with Mercury himself on their costumes.

“I’d spent a long time trying to merge my style and my musical origins with modern aesthetics; I worked very closely with a designer, since it’s not technically my strong suit.” She pauses for a moment, and we make our way to the mannequins again, this time to the second, a floor-length, evening-gown style dress in lilac, capped sleeves, looking as though it’s tie-dyed with blackcurrant glass beads instead of fabric dye. “Getting to collaborate with the band was easy enough; I did talk with [Jim Beach] regarding the use of the song, but he ultimately he ruled that it was up to them, and so once that connection was established, I actually asked Freddie to help me with some tour outfit designs.”

People often assume Giselle is referring to her team contacting Queen’s lawyer, but she goes on record now to explain that it’s not true. “I’m a lawyer, my own lawyer, and I also work for several big-name bands in the music industry today. EMI picked me up halfway through my final year, but I still continued to go to [university], and I did actually intern under (sic) [Beach] while writing my second album. “ I’m assured that she had just regular suits in her personal closet; three, in grey, black, and cream, well fitted, ‘but not why you’re here’ she adds with a self-deprecating smile.

The lavender and blackberry dress was one designed by Mercury himself, the pale lavender representative of elegance and femininity, while the darker blackcurrant is used to bring depth to the dress the same way Giselle’s unwavering, calculated persona brings depth to her performances. It was Mercury’s idea to interweave the two in the tie-dyed style, keeping Giselle’s traditional aesthetic through the glass beads and the cut of the dress.

As we continue along the timeline, it’s clear to see the effect Mercury had on Giselle’s stage wardrobe, the use of geometric patterns coupled with bold colours, and more glitter and sequins than you can shake a stick at becoming more prominent throughout the late 70s, somehow still managing to keep in line with her traditional aesthetic simultaneously.

“I refuse to wear print.” She’s adamant about it when the possibility of wearing a garment like Mercury’s vest with his cats painted on it comes up. “Geometric doesn’t count; the texture in my wardrobe is always going to be,” she pauses for a moment, searching for the right word, fingers brushing through the fur of the fur-cuffs of a long-sleeved purple velvet number, “diegetic.” She settles on, and it’s clear what she means; patterns on her clothes are always wrought through beads or diamonds or fur or other things attached. “It’s the reason I have it locked, [Lilith Taylor, 7] has left the ‘indiscriminately grabbing things that feel nice’ stage a few years ago, but Rosie [Rosemary Taylor, 4] is just at the tail end of it. They’ll have free reign of this place one day,” she looks around at the fashion legacy she has built for herself, she wears an expression of pride, though it’s more focused on her daughters than the clothes themselves, “but for now I want to keep choking hazards and expensive furs out of danger.”

Around the very end of the 70s to the beginning of the 80s we see a return to form, with the resurgence of her form-fitted cocktail dresses. “There was a lot of change happening in my life at that time, and as much as I enjoy experimenting with my looks, it helped me feel secure to know I was in what was objectively my strong suit, pun not intended.”  According to her, she’d just begun seeing Roger Taylor, and she used her fashion choices to exercise control in her life that she felt she was losing.

“My private life has always been very private, now here I am with the man who trashes drum kits and throws TVs out window; I was so afraid that every time people took a photo of me, or even looked at me, they’d think I was compromising my morals or integrity - which I’m not, and I wasn’t then.” She quickly clarifies. “Our personal history is not void because of where we are now, but Roger and I have also changed as people, and we’re allowed to have our feelings change. I’m honestly a little offended people think I we would have gone through all we did for mere publicity.”

Speaking of Roger, I’m a little surprised her wedding dress isn’t one of those on the mannequins, but I understand her choice, and we’ll certainly get to that soon. Her wedding dress sits at the back of one of the racks, carefully distant from any of the year labels. As she removes it from the garment bag, she gives it a softly nostalgic smile, brushing the fabric gently. “This should really go in my own closet.” It’s unlike most of her other outfits here, such a pale cream it’s almost white, floor-length and sleeveless with a Roman-inspired cinched waist topped with what I hesitate to even call ruffles, their drapings so loose it’s reminiscent of curled hair rather than a traditional ruffle. The material is so soft and light that even on a hanger it looks a little ethereal. It’s simple, elegant, and the very sight of it brings joy to her face.

“’81.” The year is surprising, as is the revelation she shares about how they celebrated their tenth anniversary a few months prior. Putting the dress away, we move to the early eighties, and it’s almost cyclical the way we’re brought back to the ‘Merry Murderess’ aesthetic with the lineup from her ‘The Bend Before The Break’ tour. 

“Everyone and their mother seems to have read the article [All The Queen’s Men, Rolling Stone, 1985] and figured out I was in a shaky place at the time; it’s again about having that modicum (sic) of control. Part of me reverted to portraying myself in the way when I felt like I was at the height of control in my relationships and career. It’s a pretty aesthetic,” she gently pulls a velvet, wine-coloured cocktail dress from the rack, giving it a gentle pat, “it made my stage presence feel good, honestly.” It doesn’t sound bitter, but she puts the dress back. 

Apologising for a moment, she explains the large gap between ‘82 and ‘84, with her Finally, Sunlight tour. “After coming home from the [The Bend Before The Break] tour, I took some time to myself; I was, of course, still writing, but I couldn’t really perform or make any big public appearances after like, July in ‘83, because I was quite pregnant, and, again, I’m a private person.” The Finally, Sunlight tour is known for two things, Giselle wearing gold, silver, and copper, in any and every way she could, and the Atlanta Breakdown.

“I wore metallics because Finally, Sunshine is about my baby girls, and they are so precious to me.” As was made clear in the Rolling Stone article, Giselle and Roger lost one of their twin daughters to illness in Autumn of 1984, though Lilith survived, it took a devastating toll on the couple. Moving past that, we’re finally brought to the crown jewel of the collection; her Live Aid dress.

It’s almost the antithesis to the ‘Merry Murderess’, though it shares a similar neckline and off-the-shoulder style. The Live Aid dress, which Giselle calls ‘Queen Midas’ for reasons I’ll get into later, has a white, crushed velvet bodice with an inbuilt corset, and basque waistline. Beneath the waist is a enough layers of thin and flowing georgette to become completely opaque, like a waterfall from the waistline, the colours fading from a bright, sunshine yellow at the hip, to a rich, sunset orange by the knee, and finally to a smokey, warm-toned charcoal where it brushes the ground, with gold jewels dotted around the bottom and creeping almost to the knee in some sporadic places, reminiscent of embers in a fire. Her gloves are white velvet, and just like with the first of her most iconic outfits, it’s gold sequinned fading to actual glitter and diamonds. 

“I took a hard look at where I was and what I had achieved, and... whether or not I can help it, I effect people, through my music, my actions, through what I wear, and can be a double edged sword. Sometimes it can hurt, or I can hurt others by saying or doing the wrong thing, but sometimes I find myself wanting for nothing; everything I’ve held close has turned to gold. I wanted to show that, to be able to be a part of something that gives back to the world where it’s given me so much.”

With all her most well-known outfits having been covered, there’s one more that comes to the top of my head; the jacket of 1980. The tabloids had a field day with her choice of wardrobe as she stepped out of a car with the rest of Queen wearing a salmon and green floral, double breasted suit jacket, with silver buttons and silver stilettos, with sheer, thigh high white socks held up by a garter belt, hair fashionably messy, but makeup pristine. The deviation from her usual pristine image had shocked both paparazzi and public alike, however the daring outfit had quickly been lauded as one of her best, many publications who ran photos even citing it as the entertainment industry’s hottest innovative look of the decade. Even since it has stood the test of time, and has been attributed to the rise of patterned and bold suit jacket purchases by men and women alike, with the outfit have been cited as inspiration for more than one celebrity’s red carpet look. 

Now, however, something, possibly amusement, possibly annoyance, crosses her face, and she tells me it’s not here. The jacket is Mercury’s. “We were on our way to a party being hosted by [Elton John], and I’d only been with Rog for a few months at this point; so we’re in the back of the limo with the other [members of Queen] and Roger’s spilled his wine on my nice, white cocktail dress.” It seems like a bittersweet memory, and she reminds me of her earlier comment about the ‘wine stain argument’. “In hindsight, everything worked out, but at the time I was absolutely livid; very nearly killed him in that backseat. Poor [John Deacon] literally had to drag me off of him. [It] took both him and Freddie to hold me back when Roger got out once we arrived, and they had the driver circle the block again so I could change into Freddie’s jacket, which he so kindly lent to me.”

From her tone, and her following comments about how her husband likes to bring it up, it seems as though it’s a well worn argument of how Roger Taylor enjoys taking credit for the look, though Giselle doesn’t seem like she enjoys giving him the satisfaction.

“My image has always been about how much I can control what people see of me, and to have that control taken away by a careless action, it really hurt. A man like Roger, in the entertainment industry, is never going to face the kind of scrutiny that I do, it’s the reason you’re here at all, talking to me about fashion rather than say, how difficult it is to be a practicing lawyer in the music industry while raising two beautiful daughters. And I still write music on occasion. But people remember what you show them, how you present yourself; my tour wardrobe is a reflection of the persona I let interact with the world, and it’s beautiful, and a legacy that will probably outlive me to some extent. 

“Do I regret any of my fashion choices? I don’t really have the liberty to, do I? And either way, they’re part of the reason I’m where I am today; I made a niche for myself that was built initially on my aesthetic, if I’m being generous, so I suppose I’ll always be grateful to it.”