#like its one of the best tracks on the before ofc its gonna win

[synthshenanigans]

Next Round :D

-Vote for what you think is more underrated but also what you still like a lot-

Also! Fun fact, Dad 3 is the oldest video he's uploaded on Chonny Jash! The song is totally a very serious song, one of the most heartwretching songs he's covered.

Its likely you haven't heard it, so have at it here if you'd like.

[RB for more votes if ye'd like]

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Behind Closed Doors

Keanu Reeves x OFC (A/n- And now, I shall make it complicated)

Masterlist

Warnings- Jealousy

Chapter 2 All In a Long Weekend

Saturday

That Saturday morning, breakfast had been done a tad earlier than usual, and afterwards, Emma had stayed back in the kitchen, packing a picnic while Keanu oversaw the children as they got ready for the day's beach trip. Matt and Poppy had been raving about their trip to Malibu for the past two weeks, asking every night before bed if they'd still be going. Each time, Emma had assured them that unless it rained, they were certainly going.

"You look excited," an older woman came up beside Emma, setting down some sodas into the cooler, just as Emma continued preparing sandwiches for the container that was set to be packed into the woven basket. She and Zelda, despite the fifteen or so years between them had become fast friends, always eager to help each other out when possible. The older woman was also sometimes keen of giving Emma little snippets of advice that she thought my be helpful; never go into Keanu's office when he had the door shut, don't give the kids ice pops inside and possibly the one that had saved her the most trouble, always check the allergy list that Keanu had stuck to the fridge before making the kids something new.

Beaming absently at her comment, Emma carried on with her task, making cheese and turkey sandwiches; a favorite among Keanu and his kids, "I am, it's been a while since I've been to the beach, and even if I'm still working, it's gonna be fun." Closing up the Tupperware, Emma set it in the basket, moving on to prepping snacks, just as Zelda started on some frozen treats for the sizable cooler. In retrospect, it might have seemed like a lot, but when you were having a day trip with kids, it was best to prepare for anything. "Plus, it'll be nice to spend some time together, just the four of us."

Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, Zelda paused for a minute, "Five dear," she corrected, a little shocked when Emma didn't understand what she meant.

Certainly, Keanu must have told her!

But really, he hadn't.

Just as Zelda was about to explain though, the sound of the front door opening and shutting, followed by a very loud, and an annoyingly exuberant; "Darling!" After that, it wasn't long before the sound of heels clicking against the floor drew nearer, and out of the long hallway emerged a woman, tall, blonde and just as famous as Keanu.

"Sweet-" Upon seeing the pair, the Miranda Riley, former Victoria Secret model and world famous actress, stopped in her tracks, scrunching her perfectly straight nose as if she'd smelt something terrible, "Oh," her made up face fell, "Its you; Zora and…….the new one."

A little annoyed by her obviously snooty behavior, Emma opened her mouth to speak up, "Actually it's-" Though, when Zelda grabbed her arm, squeezing warningly, she shut up immediately, sealing her lips tightly.

Though, it didn't really seem like any of it greatly affected Miranda, especially when Keanu jogged into the room from the other hall, still bare foot while his worn out t-shirt was soaked at the front, probably from herding the twins into a bath. "Mandy," he grinned, and Emma swore it was stiff and forced. Maybe it was just her imagination though, cause with barely any hesitation, Keanu was taking the woman in his arms, holding her in a more than friendly hug before planting a lengthy kiss on her deep, ruby lips, one of his hands reaching up to cup her face.

The world seemed to slow down as the entire scene unfolded before her; the way he held her, looked at her when they pulled away to speak. A soft, pained gasp seeped past her lips and Emma wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting when Miranda walked into the house, but she did know that the last thing she’d predicted was that it would hurt so much. Her lungs were set ablaze and a similar sensation prickled at her eyes. Rage, betrayal, jealousy, Emma couldn’t tell which it was, but she did know that she wanted to run out of the room and not have to face Keanu for the rest of the day. Hell, maybe even the rest of the month.

Slowly, as if she were just coming up from being submerged in an ice cold bath, Emma brought herself back to the moment, raising her gaze when Keanu sought to introduce them, “Mandy, you remember I told you about Emma, our new nanny.” That was what she was, the nanny; the woman who took care of his kids, nothing more. Even if quieter moments had suggested otherwise. The tension, the long stares and innocent touches that thrilled her nerves, they meant nothing to Keanu. “And Em, this is my girlfriend, Mandy.” Well that didn’t feel like a bullet to the chest at all.

“It’s nice to meet you,” the smile that she plastered on her face was probably the hardest one she’d ever managed, and when Emma offered her hand, it wasn’t difficult to miss the flash of disgust that crossed Miranda’s pale features. Never meet your heroes, they said. For as long as Emma had known herself, Miranda had been an icon in the fashion world, she was well connected, and had set most of the trends that Emma had her friends had desperately wanted to mimic in their teens. It was her, among other inspiring names in the fashion world that had prompted Emma to go to a design institute and not a conventional college. But right then, she might have been happier going back to a time where she’d never crossed paths with Miranda.

Hesitating before offering Emma a toothy, winning grin, Miranda took her hand, shaking quickly over the counter before letting it go again, “Mmm, yes, it's…….nice to meet you too, Emily.”

“Emma,” she corrected, having to bite her tongue so she wouldn’t say anything more. The last thing she’d want was to lose her job after telling off her boss’s out of touch bitch of a girlfriend.

“Right,” Miranda appraised her look, a bright blue sundress, raising an impressed brow, probably only complimenting her to appease Keanu, “Cute dress.”

Before Emma could speak up, Keanu interjected, “She looks lovely doesn’t she? Made it herself,” he didn’t seem remotely aware of the heaviness in the room, or the way Miranda clenched her jaw when another slew of praises for Emma left his lips, “She’s so talented, Poppy is already roping her into making princess dresses for Halloween,” he chuckled, shaking in his head.

After another minute spent gritting her teeth, Miranda sought to change the topic, clearly having had her fill of Keanu’s pride in his nanny, “Where are the little ones anyway? It's nearly ten, we’re going to be late.”

With that, Emma’s head snapped towards Zelda, who'd opted to finish the cooler and snacks in silence, so she wouldn’t have to endure any of the painstaking conversation, “She’s going?” She whispered when Keanu and Miranda weren’t looking, eyes wide and frenzied.

“Yeah,” she nodded, barely looking as Emma when she followed her to the fridge, while Keanu and Miranda spoke, or rather, canoodled in hushed tones, "I feel like I should have told you he has a girlfriend," Zelda paused, just after reaching for a half filled carton of strawberries.

"Ya think?" Emma hissed, glancing backwards at the couple, feeling her heart pinch at how lovey dovey they were. She could have sworn there was something between herself and Keanu. "How hard was it to say 'Hey Em, you know our boss has this girlfriend, and she's like, a total bitch.' What the hell does he even see in her anyway?"

"She's tall and gorgeous?" Zelda shrugged casually, "Look, I don't get it either, but he loves her, they've been together for almost two years and I think she's convinced him to go public by the end of this year." Her face fell at Emma's troubled expression, reaching out to rub her shoulder sympathetically, "I see the way you look at him, and if there's something between you two, then……and I don't mean this harshly at all, maybe you need to back down. Miranda, she's……she's not someone you want to mess with," sighing deeply, Zelda peered over to see if they were being overheard, "She gets what she wants, and right now, she wants Keanu and you don't want to be in her way."

Gritting her teeth, Emma pulled away harshly, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about," she squared her shoulders, "There's nothing between Keanu and I," maybe she was getting more defensive than she needed to be, but Emma didn't care. "I'm gonna go finish getting the twins ready," she announced loudly, stalking out of the room and down the hall, and hopefully, leaving behind whatever she'd started to feel for her boss.

As it turned out, Matt and Poppy had all but put their clothes on over their swimsuits, and they were so excited about going, that they got into their little summery outfits without fuss. Afterwards, tiny feet clad in colorful sandals, they raced each other downstairs, leaving Emma to collect their bags before she headed down.

She was walking towards the stairs, backpacks in hands, really just minding her own business, having just started to calm down after the whole Keanu/Miranda fiasco, when, just as she neared the door of Keanu's home office, she heard it. He was deep in conversation, and had unknowingly left the door just a sliver open, enough for her to catch on to some juicy bits. "I know mom," he sounded exasperated, and when she dared to peek in, Emma found that his back was to her, as he stood facing the window, one hand stuffed into the pocket of his jeans, "But I'm not getting any younger, what do you want me to do? Wait till I'm sixty?" He sighed heavily, shaking his head, "Matt and Poppy need a mother, and Miranda……" he trailed off, listening intently to what his mother had to say. Leaning closer, Emma wished she could be privy to the other end of the call, aching to hear what his mother thought about the succubus that he called a girlfriend. But alas, she'd have to settle for whatever she got.

After a few minutes had passed, Keanu spoke again, turning around, leaving Emma to dash for cover, though still within earshot. For a minute, she held her breath, awaiting the moment where Keanu would poke his head out the door and catch her eavesdropping. But it never came, and instead, he continued, "I think I'm going to do it tomorrow night, we're going to dinner, and the nanny will watch the kids. I have the ring already. I think she might like it."

Ring?

The sirens in Emma's head were going off so loudly that she barely registered his tone, the absence of excitement or joy, things that were usually there when someone was smitten enough to propose. There was too much going on in her head; the irrational fear of never having a chance with Keanu, the more rational fear that Miranda might become her boss too. Tuning out the rest of the conversation, not caring to hear anymore, Emma dragged herself towards the stairs, slinking down towards the kitchen, where she found Zelda entertaining the children.

“Everything okay?” She probed when Emma placed the bags on the counter, next to the cooler and picnic basket, her features still crestfallen.

“Yeah,” she mustered up a smile, inching closer to her friend, her voice dropping an octave, “I think Keanu’s going to propose to Miranda, like tomorrow night.”

“What?” Zelda’s eyes went wide, her jaw hanging slack, and she almost dropped the dishes she had just started putting into the cupboards, “How do you know that, did he tell you?”

“Tell her what?” Speak of the devil. Miranda startled them both, and for a second, Emma was worried that she’d overheard their conversation, though that too was short lived.

“Everyone ready?” Keanu strode into the room, and though Emma wanted to meet his gaze, she restrained herself, not even trying to respond, just going over to gather some of their things, her teary smile faltering when the kids excitedly started following her to the car.

At some point, Miranda had eased Keanu away from where they’d set up their picnic on the beach, urging him into a walk even though the kids had pleaded with him to stay and help them build sandcastles. Emma had taken his place, helping them with their little construction project, highly aware of how upset Poppy still was. “You okay Pop?”

The girl frowned, using her fragile fingers to sweep some hair out of her face, “I wish daddy would have stayed and built it with us,” she mumbled, dumping another bucket of sand to create segment of the castle, though doing it so harshly that the new section just crumbled, “He always leaves when aunt Mandy comes around.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” even if she didn’t like Miranda, if she was going to be Matt and Poppy’s step mother, Emma couldn’t go around bad mouthing her to them, “I’m sure he still spends time with you. And aunt Miranda seems really like you two.”

“Not as much as you,” that was Matt, his expression skewed by his dark mane falling over his face, “She’s always telling us to be quiet. And she’s so boring,” he stressed, lurching forward, only half interested in ranting about Miranda, still very invested in their sandcastle, “She almost made dad stop my swimming lessons.”

“What?” That time, it was a struggle to keep her annoyance at bay. Even if it was just one side, even if Matt couldn’t possibly know the entire truth, it was still enough to rile Emma up. How dare she? Matt was the best on his team! Taking a breath, Emma knew it was time to shift the conversation, and cheer the twins up before she said something that she’d regret, “You know what? Why don’t we give this a break? We can go to the water, have a splash war!”

“Yeah!” They jumped up immediately, barely giving Emma a minute to shimmy out of her sundress, revealing her simple, floral bikini before joining them in the water. It didn’t take long to lift their spirits, and before long, Matt and Poppy were teaming up to out splash Emma. Their gleeful giggles were music to her ears and she adored seeing their wide grins. They’d waited almost a month for that trip, they deserved to enjoy as much as they could, even if Miranda was going to take up most of Keanu’s time.

They probably spent hours past noon in the water, and not once did anyone’s smile falter. Emma gave them ice pops, and insisted that they have some water once or twice, though each time, they accepted without fuss, and she couldn’t tell if was the sugar from their snacks, or just how immersed they were in the games, but even when Keanu and Miranda returned near sunset, they didn’t show signs of tire.

“You guys having all the fun without me?” Keanu let go of Miranda’s hand, standing where the water would wash over his feet, pulling the sand back as it receded.

A pang of anger flared inside of her, making Emma want to remind Keanu that he was the one that left, but she suppressed it. A fight wouldn’t solve anything. She was so caught up in being annoyed with Keanu, that she hadn't noticed how dark his gaze had grown when his eyes fell on her, kneeling in the water, rivulets rolling off her tan skin, the top of her bathing suit pressing her breasts together, a generous amount of her cleavage spilling out voluptuously. “Well why don’t you join in?” She made herself laugh, and while Emma was hardly as much of an actor as the two A listers before her, she’d liked to think she managed pretty well.

“Sounds great,” he didn’t even seem to notice Emma’s irritation, bubbling beneath the surface. In a flash, he was pulling off his t-shirt, tossing it to the sand, getting into water wearing just his swim trunks, and as he drew closer, his cheerful tone faltered, probably realizing that being in the water with her wasn’t going to do him any favors, “Do you guys wanna play chicken fight?” Keanu turned to his kids, only to be met with excited nods, “And maybe Mandy wants to play too?” He turned to her, eyes somewhat hopeful, “And we can let Em have a break,” swallowing thickly.

“Oh, I…..” Miranda seemed perfectly out of her element, smoothing a hand over her stylish, white sundress, and then pushing up the dark tinted sunglasses, which formerly guarded crystal green orbs. It took a minute, but eventually, she conjured up a tight grin, “Chicken fight isn’t really my kind of game,” she laughed nonchalantly, “Besides, the water will ruin my hair. You should let Emily play, childish nonsense seems right up her alley.”

Subduing the urge to roll her eyes and fire a few obscenities towards Miranda, Emma took a breath, gazing between Keanu, who’d gone cold, and Miranda who’s wicked mirth was reflected in her defiant smile, “Like I said this morning, it’s just Emma. And that’s fine, I actually love childish nonsense, its way more fun than sitting on the sand like a……” stuck up bitch, “Boring grown up.”

Amused with her half hearted insult, Matt laughed loudly, while Poppy just giggled, already trying to get up on Emma’s shoulders. Fuming, Miranda turned on her heel, stomping off towards the mat, and it wasn’t long before the rest of them had forgotten the almost-spat, getting on with their game.

Monday

As usual, Emma was up early, preparing breakfast for everyone. It was just past seven am, and since Mondays didn’t promise cartoon reruns, the kids weren’t up yet. Instead, Zelda had come in earlier than usual, saying that she wanted to get a head start on the housework, but really just looking to gossip. They were in the kitchen together, preparing for hash browns, eggs and bacon, working over quiet chatter, “So…” Zelda nudged Emma’s shoulder with her own.

“So?” Emma chuckled, nudging her back, the comfy cotton of her robe brushing against the sleeve of Zelda’s shirt. She knew exactly what her friend was seeking, but truthfully, she didn’t know how Keanu’s proposal had gone. All she knew was that they’d left for dinner around seven, leaving her to make something for Matt and Poppy, and hadn’t returned until the twins had fallen asleep and Emma had stolen away to her room.

“So, is the wicked witch of the west coast going to be out new boss or not?” Zelda teased, continuing with helping Emma shred some potatoes.

“Honestly-” Emma cut herself off when Keanu walked in, sans shirt and with low riding sweat pants. His hair was a mess, and his good morning was punctuated by a tired yawn. "Good morning Keanu," both women greeted in unison, sharing a look.

They both wanted to know so badly that the itch was almost physical, but it wasn't like they could simply ask. With their one question would come a dozen more from Keanu. Though, as faith would have it, the truth they were seeking wasn't far behind a still half asleep Mr. Reeves.

"Darling," an all too familiar voice purred, shuffling into the kitchen, her blonde hair held up in a loose ponytail and her elegant frame wrapped up in fine satin. Unlike Keanu, Miranda didn't even bother with pleasantries, going straight over to where he stood at the integrated refrigerator, holding him in a hug from behind, strategically angling her left hand so the large rock on her finger would be on full display.

"Still wanna know?" Emma whispered near Zelda's ear, their heads almost touching.

Scoffing, Zelda seemed caught between a sarcastic smirk and a frown, "Not any more."

And because the world was such a cruel place and open wounds would be pointless without a little salt, Miranda abruptly turned to them. "Ladies! Have you two seen my ring?" Without warning she thrust her hand towards them, making the engagement ring on her finger hard to avoid, "Gorgeous right? Keke loves to spoil me," her words were perfectly gag worthy and Emma was finding it difficult to keep down the half cup of coffee she'd had. It wasn't like she was opposed to love or affection or anything, she'd really liked to think of herself as well adjusted in that way, but during the one weekend she'd spent around Miranda, her affections for Keanu always seemed so dramatic that it was nothing short of an elaborate farce.

Yet, it wasn't like she had much of a choice when it came to going forward and having to endure it. Jobs in the fashion world were hard to come by and freelancing would hardly be enough to cover living expenses. So, alas, she'd have to put up with Miranda for a quite while to come. "Don't worry Emily," Emma hadn't even realized she'd zoned out until Miranda called her by the wrong name, for probably the dozenth time. At her next words, Miranda's voice dropped below what Keanu could hear, and there was a wicked glimmer in her gaze, "You're pretty enough, I'm sure you can trick a man into buying you a nice ring. Might not be as many carats, but you'll manage."

That little quip was definitely pay back for Saturday. Fuming, Emma longed to just let her have it, but she was growing so versed in holding her tongue that she did again, deciding right then and there that as much as she loved the kids, she was wholly willing to take the next sustaining job as long as Miranda was in the picture.

*****

Tagging- @harrisongslimited @magnificentclodpiebanana @keandrews @greenmanalishi @rdjloverxxx @danceoftwowolves @planetkt @wheretheriversrunintothesea

[neocrush]

flirting w chenle on knowing bros seems like it'll be a wild ride HAHA i love the concept~~

thank u so much for sending in an ask 🥰

lezgeddit

flirting with chenle on knowing bros

you were a member of a girl group with 6 members

you being the youngest ofc

that day you were filming a variety show

knowing bros

and you LOVED that show

mainly bc heechul’s in it

and he’s hilarious asf

and bc he’s dating your senior

anyways u were told ur group wasn’t the only guest they had for the episode

the only info u received was that it was a boy group

part of you hoped it was nct dream

you had developed a tiny your leader would say giant crush on a certain chinese member

renjun

jk no its one and only zhong chenle

you had watched previous variety shows w nct dream in it

and he never failed to amaze you

his personality, voice, charm, and screaming never failed to put a smile on your face

the only interaction you had was during boom era

you had just debuted and both ur group and dream were nominated for first place on a music show

after winning, the boys of dream congratulated ur group in the hallways

“you guys just debuted? that’s so impressive wow” the blonde one, jeno exclaimed

you swore you saw ur leader blush a little

“congratulations~ i can’t lie and say ur song sucks” haechan — you recognized — chuckled

renjun started singing ur groups title track and the boys started dancing along to the chorus

both groups shared a laugh and just overall had a great time

it was great

with all the pressure both groups got from their big companies, it was nice to just laugh everything off once in a while

until ur managers called you to return to the dorms

and their manager called theirs

as it was you, chenle, and jisung’s curfew

you said ur goodbyes and as u were leaving

chenle accidentally bumped on ur shoulder

u gasped from the sudden feeling of ur bare shoulder in contact with his denim jacket

“oh my gosh i’m so sorry! ah~ you okay?” he said

eyebrows furrowed in the cutest way possible as he was worried

u blushed and got lost in his eyes

then u came back to reality as u shook ur head

“ah yes.. i-i’m fine.. sunbaenim” you bowed as he was technically ur senior

“oh okay that’s a relief. by the way, just call me chenle oppa. sunbaenim’s too formal, don’t you think?”

“o-oppa..?” you questioned while tilting ur head

“y-you don’t have to if it makes u uncomfortable!” he blushed, regretting what he just said

“no it’s okay. i think it’s cute. bye chenle oppa!” you giggled as you waved at him and left to go to your managers car.

he smiled to himself for a good minute until jaemin called him to get into the car

damn jyp why u gotta have a stupid three year dating ban

was all the orange-haired boy could think of

fast forward ur group had ur first comeback already n dream came back w ridin

as you were both promoting at the same time, the chances were very likely they’d be the other group on the episode

filming started and there you were w ur groupmates w ur school uniforms on

u wore a white sweater and a white dress shirt underneath with a short plaid skirt that had a matching tie hanging around your collar

after introductions and a conversation w the cast

a knock was heard from the door on ur left

a blue haired boy walked in confidently

na jaemin????

and so came the rest of dream

OH FRICK CHENLE’S HERE

ACT NATURAL

ur group moved a little to the right to make room for the boys as they walked to the desk where all the guests would introduce themselves

they did their greeting which u memorized in ur head

a bunch of conversations and segment went by

until the cast introduced a new one

it was called flutter my heart

cheesy

but cute

the challenge was easy

one person had to use a machine that would detect their heartbeat

and the other would have to try their best to make the opposing player’s heartbeat go faster than usual

u were divided into two teams

ur group vs dream

duh

laughter was everywhere as some of ur groupmates try flirt w dream and vice versa

starting with ur visual cringing at hyucks aegyo

and then ur leader making jeno lose in a second by winking at him

renjun serenading ur main vocalist

which turned into a duet

ur japanese member reciting anime lines

in which jaemin fell hard for

not in a dirty way no

then jisung calling ur oldest “noona”

in which she cringed

poor sungie lost :(

then as if the writers knew about ur crush on him

u were paired w him

it was ur turn to make his heart flutter

were u nervous? duh.

but were u gonna take advantage of the situation to flirt with ur crush of 3 months? absolutely.

so they put the detector on his chest and you had 5 minutes to make this boi go loco

u were bold and went for his hands

ur tiny fingers intertwined with his slender ones

even without looking at the machine

u could tell his heartbeat was going one million miles per hour

u were only holding his hands and his ears were already red asf

“oppa~ you’re so cute when you’re flustered~” you say with sparkling eyes

if ur hands in his didnt already kill him, then ur intense eye contact would

u let go of him hands as you crashed ur body in his and placed your arms on his shoulders

“oppa have you eaten today?” you innocently asked

“i-i.. n-no..” he couldn’t even breathe steadily

u smirked at his cute reaction

u reached for his hands once again, bodies still inches apart

“me too” you pouted

“should we go out then? just the two of us?” you stared at his fully red face

“pleaseeee” you pouted

chenle swore he was mentally melting inside

“she’s so competitive!” jisung yelled in the background

you couldn’t hear him tho, u were too busy thinking of ur next move

“20 seconds left!” heechul reminded

“oppa am i pretty?” u rhetorically asked

the taller boy opened his mouth to say yes, looking for revenge

but before his plan could succeed you placed a finger on his lips

“don’t say anything. just kiss me if your answer if yes.” you calmly said

you were exploding inside tho

ur members were screaming

some cringing

some actually enjoying it

they never knew this side of their maknae

“i guess so~” he muttered, enough for u to hear

u were taken aback by his answer in a good way as u suddenly blushed

he inched his face closer to yours and—

“TIMES UP!” heechul exclaimed

“woahhh i think you won that one” your groups visual said in shocked

you laughed as you turn back to ur members to see their reactions

ur gaze returned to chenle as he was still as red as a tomato

dreamies teasing him more than ever

although you didn’t win

curse u jeno why tf does ur heart beat so fast

chenle still couldn’t stop thinking about what happened

filming ended and you went to your waiting rooms to change back

you were at the women’s bathroom as you were fixing ur hair, looking at the mirror

you had tucked out ur shirt that was previously tucked in and slowly you unbuttoned the lower buttons that were super tight

“hey,” a lower voice called out

“pervert!” you exclaimed without knowing who it was as you covered ur lower stomach

for all you could know it could be a creepy staff member

he raised his arms in defense

“ah it’s just you chenle oppa”

u released ur hands from ur body

chenle’s eyes couldn’t help but land on ur abs

ears getting red again as he looked back into ur eyes

“i gotta go soon so i’ll make this short”

u tilted ur head as a sign to listen

“i don’t know if u were being serious or if it was just for the sake of the show but u should eat. it’s 3pm fill ur stomach. wouldn’t want u starving” he smiled as he handed you a block of chewing gum with pink wrapping paper around it

“ur so cheesy oppa” you blushed “but thank you”

wide smiled were exchanged as you bid your goodbyes

eh why not eat it now, i’m in the mood for something sweet

you unwrapped the hot pink paper

as you were about to pop the tiny block in ur mouth

u spotted something written on the paper with what seemed like a black sharpie

you’re so cute. wanna have rappoki some time in myeongdong? -lele oppa

ur whole face was as red as renjuns in mfal

but not as red as when u turned the paper around to see

text or call me whenever you can. don’t wanna lose a gem like you. xxx-xxx-xxx (my number if u were wondering lol)

you chuckled as you read that and the last little message

i’d wait all three years if it meant getting papa park jinyoung’s approval

he really was one of a kind

zhong chenle.

[bakugoukatsuki-rising]

So I have a prediction for what is to come in the next few chapters. And it just makes the most sense to me. ( I'm an artist, not a writer, so don't judge me)

So, GT is prolly gonna tell the teachers that Shiguraki has some way of tracking Deku and that he needs to leave ASAP before the LoV come looking for him again. And ofc since he's in a hospital with a shit ton of injured people and heros, not the best place to be. So *if* Deku isnt awake by now, they make plans to move him, Shoto, Endeavor, maybe Hawks to an undisclosed location where they'll be treated and far away from everyone else in case the villains come back. They'll probably move the kids somewhere else too. Bakugou ofc says "Fuck no! Wherever Deku goes, I go!" Hopefully, AM and Aizawa will let him come.

So they get to a new location, Deku wakes up, we get our BKDK talk. Then AFO is suddenly on the TV like "Hey Deku, we know where you are, but we're gonna let you come to us. Give up OFA and we "might" let people live. (Maybe they have his mom hostage or some shit idk.)

Being the dumbass self-sacrificing person he is, he agrees to turn himself over. But nOT BEFORE GIVING KAACHAN A SMOOCH (or something) TRANSFERRING OFA TO HIM INSTEAD! Then knocks him out or smth so he goes alone.

He's got a bit of it left (like how AM was after he transferred it to Deku) so AFO "thinks" he's got it.

Meanwhile, Bakugou is PISSED, as per usual and rightfully so. I mean he already almost died for the damn nerd once already. Class 1A catches up to him and are like "Where's Deku? We cant let him go, he'll be killed!" And Bakugou says ".....wait. I got an idea that just might work."

Cut back to Deku VS LoV.

Deku is about to "give up" OFA when Class 1A busts down the door: WHATS UP FUCKERS!

AFO: ha! What's a bunch of teenaged fledgling heroes going to do? You'll never defeat me!

Shiguraki: you mean "us"?

AFO: I know what I said.

Bakugou: how about a bunch of teenaged fledgling heroes supercharged with OFA?

*cue Avengers theme*

AFO, LoV, and Deku: excuse me, wHAT?

Bakugou: its called "One for ALL" right?

Class 1A: we ate his hair. It was really gross and weird. ;v;

Deku: ....... Fuck it. makes sense to me!

(Bakugou shares a bit of OFA with his class, like how Deku did with Kaachan in the movie. So AFO doesn't know who's actually got it. Is it Deku? Is it Bakugou? Is it Mineta? HE'LL NEVER KNOW!)

And then they fight, hero's win, Deku gets OFA back, the day is saved by class 1A, Bkdk kiss, roll credits.

The End.

Epilogue: BKDK happily married pro hero duo, bc its what we deserve. 😌

Ooooooooooh how compelling 👀👀👀

[anestheticrage]

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰👽 and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately. 

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho. 

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️��💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi-   and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F   W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏  defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself. 

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got: 

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H) 

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

   - everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

   - the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

   - make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊). 

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..." 

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs 

Yours Truly, 

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘 

[elaphaemourra]

🖊 + Any of them ~

Hooooo this is a fckn, You Have Given Me Too Much Power. I have So Many Words.

Gonna be real tho, this is gonna be a Big Thing about Mita bc I have a fckn AU where he's the Outlander and I have some FEELINGS ABOUT THIS. Bc he's part of my main continuity as an adjacent player to the IA and BH storylines, sharing agent crew/other random shit with Phaeyla for the IA stuff (he got Vector and Scorpio, Phae got the rest) and serving as Another sidequest generator for Jeni in the BH line (I give Jeni so many nerds to keep track of whoops).

(THIS IS ALREADY LONG, AND I'M ABOUT 8 PARAGRAPHS IN, SO IT'S GETTING A READ MORE WHILE I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT IT)

Uh, TL;DR, Mita is handling being Commander about This Well:

OK SO in NORMAL canon he goes with Lana and Koth to go fetch the Outlander (who I decided is actually one of Zal's apprentices, a Voss named Thera-nal, until Zal fckn goes 'no fuck this. I have ghost experience. Gimme the emperor u don't have to deal with this urself' and steals Valk from her bc Good Inquisidad Takes On The Oof Ghost For His Kid) and then gets fckn Ditched on Zakuul. Like straight up that whole 'get the outlander on the ship, Vaylin is 3 meters away FUCK FUCK FUCK' thing, he pushes Thera-nal on and then the ship takes off. Without him. And he does a dive off the platform bc he's like 'nah' @ Vaylin and knows he can survive a Really Long Fall. It's all very dramatic, very ciffhangery. I'm still writing the next chapter beyond that in Left Behind.

He ends up fckn, roughing it on Zakuul, gets himself a sort-of job posing as an assassination droid in a gladiator ring (bc i'm a NERD for gladiator shit), grows up, gains some confidence. Knife baby gets a grow up and a glow up. It's awesome.

BUT. BUT I HAVE AN AU WHERE HE'S THE OUTLANDER. AND IT'S AN EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF WHY HE SHOULD NEVER BE IN CHARGE OF ANYTHING EVER.

He and Lana don't like each other. It's a Thing. They can put their differences aside for the sake of Professionalism or when they give each other the 'r u seeing this shit' Look when someone else is being Stupid in both their opinions, but they don't like each other (this is true in the normal canon as well, they're very antagonistic to each other, it's a little silly how petty it is but it's Fun). Despite this, and their tendencies to piss each other off on purpose, Mita thinks she's the most tolerable of the initial Pile of People. The Conflict between Koth and Senya was A Lot for him to handle, and he doesn't do Leadership Positions very well. About an hour after they picked Senya up, he was already out of patience.

The constant arguing got to him SO FAST, it ran him out of patience and Fucks so quickly, he started getting real snippy. By the time they got to asylum he was throwing around threats to people who couldn't keep their Shit to themselves. He TRIED to do good things, to pull together enough patience and good will to be Benevolent in his actions, but as his patience fell apart, so did basically everything else good. Mita getting Tora was a whole Thing where he did the Nice Thing by making her apologize to Vik and when she talked back he turned around and drew a knife on her, told her to keep her mouth shut if she was going to complain because he WOULD kill her, and he DIDN'T need an engineer/mechanic THAT much. That he'd use her corpse as payment for the next batch of cargo, which, MITA. WHAT THE FUCK, MAN.

He started falling into MUCH older patterns of thinking, refusing to take any action that was Any risk to himself. It's a thought process he had before he got shoved full of implants, before he realized that he could be a Better Person and started being a rebellious little shit in Intelligence and taking risks that helped Other People instead of just being single-mindedly focused on his own self-preservation.

He's falling back into it, which is BRUTAL because he's making more and more devastating choices, and where he saved people by shutting down that reactor on the First blip of Zakuul, before he ran out of Patience and Fear, and he did Good Lightsided Things to Help People, he just went off with Kaliyo to blow the absolute shit out of that whole thing, and where he used to be like 'shit, we need to make things Better', now he's started talking about Vengeance. Which uh. Does me a Concern about Knife Baby.

Basically none of the advisors actually LIKE him. At best, Senya and him have a solid enough mutual understanding of Work Vs Free Time between them, but she's also Pissed that he keeps taking the Big Death Options and fucking over her citizens. Theron's basically constantly giving him the Pensive Side-Eye because of how consistently Freaky Mita has become. Their first interaction was Prickly at best, and Mita hasn't gained any more patience.

Ofc, Mita and Lana just Don't get along, but they at least vibe on the level of 'i am So Done with everyone here' and she's pulled him aside more than once to get him to cool off a little. Though mostly she pawned him off on HK, when the droid was still aroujd, so she's at least Done Something for his mental state, and he liked that droid enough for talking with him being Relaxing. Kind of.

He's a volatile Commander who Can and Will pull people who irritate him aside to threaten them with mortal or bodily harm, or yeet a datapad at the wall for that Big Sound, or just punch a wall while he's got gauntlets on, to get everyone to Shut Up and Pay Attention so he can yell at them for not keeping their Interpersonal Shit out of the war room and out of his presence. He's basically single-handedly driving the Alliance into the ground, driving it forwards through pure force of will and by making people scared enough to work together without Complaining, hoping that Arcann will give before he or the Alliance do.

He's refused every offer by Valkorion for Everything, and right now that's his saving grace.

Koth bounced, furious with Mita and Kaliyo's 'let's blow this bitch up' thing, and Mita's little circle of people he Actually Likes has uh, maybe Not the greatest influences among them. His inner circle is Kaliyo, Scorpio, Tora (which surprised me, but they are Remarkably chill with each other for people whose introduction was Humiliation and Death Threats, like, a 'they'd vibe and drink in a dark corner together' sort of deal), and Even More Surprising, Aric Jorgan.

Completely separate from the Alliance Advisory Squad, Jorgan seems to be REALLY good for Mita. He's just kinda, it's Working Out. Mita's doing Nicer Shit when Jorgan's around. I'm not sure if it's just, the lack of Shit-Stirrers, the comfort and familiarity of military company, Jorgan's 'ur not the boss of me' thing back in the swamps on Zakuul, or what. But Mita's doing Good Shit when that rad cat man's around. Hell, it might be that he just doesn't want to disappoint his new friend. But like, they're actually a STELLAR team friendship-wise. Mita's actually Relaxed enough to get shit done efficiently, do LIGHTSIDED SHIT, and he basically ONLY brings Jorgan when he goes raiding star fortresses. Kaliyo and Scorpio are higher up on Mita's 'would send out alone' list, but only because he worked with Kaliyo when he and Phaeyla got assigned to each other, and Scorpio was HIS team member.

Even with that though, Mita's reputation among Alliance personnel isn't a Kind one. He's terrifying, volatile and quick to snap at anyone and everyone who gets on his nerves. People avoid him in the halls unless they Absolutely Need Him, and there's ABSOLUTELY a network of people you can ask as a 'where's the Commander now' if you really need to spend the day Avoiding Him.

He's also leaned Heavily into the aesthetic of Big Scary. Dressed like a Sith all in black and white and grey (and a Republic insignia on his belt just for the added cognitive dissonance that gives him), with a Delightfully Menacing Helmet that makes him nigh unreadable. The voice modulation is something he Knows how to use to make himself more intimidating, and he knows how to hold himself to make Pointed Silence into something that can cause fear. He really leaned into that 'scaring people into working for you' thing, which isn't sustainable, and he KNOWS it isn't, but he's hoping to get shit done fast enough that it won't MATTER how unsustainable that type of leadership is.

He's Stressed and Tired and Angry, and he's going down a deep dark hole. He needs to be fckn, sat down and Confronted about where he's going because he MADE that choice to be better, on BALMORRA. It cost him his free will, his autonomy, and his identity. He was PHYSICALLY unable to say his own name without his upper body motor function locking up, for a long time, because it was part of the programming of his implants. He gave Everything up to be Better, and it took so much to get those things back, and now he's squandering it all by falling back into who he used to be.

He needs some Time to Chill The Fuck Out, an Intervention for what he's doing with himself, and a goddam nap.

Knife Baby is Stressed Out. He's the Team Medic. He was never designed to be In Charge, and it took its toll Very Quickly, and it's devolved into something Brutal and Unsustainable. Which is why this is an AU, and why my Canon Commander for the timeline is Zal.

Zal's a good leader, good under pressure, patient and fair almost to a fault, and a good person.

Mita can't handle the strain, and he KNOWS it. But he's doing it anyways, and will drag the people around him down with him if it means he'll win in the end. And in the mean time, he's frustrated, volatile, and Not Very Fun To Be Around.

[shirtlesssammy]

1x13: Route 666

Then:

Moody Male Modeling Sons of Bitches

Now:

On a lonely stretch of road in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, a man in a sedan is aggressively pursued by a Racist Ghost Truck™. The Racist Ghost Truck™ seems to just disappear and the man continues on his way --until the Racist Ghost Truck™ is RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. 

The Racist Ghost Truck™ chases the man off the road … and disappears. 

At the local Gas-n-Sip generic gas station, Sam’s looking at old school paper maps to track their next case when Dean tells him they’re taking a detour to Missouri. He got a call from “an” “old” “friend” that her father was killed.

On the drive, Sam ribs Dean in a most delightful way. He wants to know the nature of this friendship. Her name’s Cassie (OOOO00000OOOOO), they dated for a couple of weeks, and she knows what Sam and Dean do because Dean told her. That boy is so soft. It breaks my fucking heart. 

Sam and Dean arrive at the Cape Girardeau newspaper, where Cazzie Cassie and her father’s friend are getting told what they can and cannot put in the paper. Ugh, it seems her father isn’t the only victim to die on that stretch of road. 

Cassie turns to find Sam and Dean (and much like a more recent and beloved Cas in season 12) she doesn’t seem to register that Sam is there at all and sighs, “Dean.” Sam’s smirk watching them together says it all. 

For Sam Knows™ Science:

This hardcore Destiel stan has a soft spot for Cassie right now. 

That night at Cassie’s mom’s house, she fills the brothers in on what’s been happening. Her dad has been seeing the Racist Ghost Truck™; there were tracks leading right to where her father’s car went off the road, and the first person killed was her father’s best friend. Cassie’s skeptical of what Sam and Dean do but she needs their help. 

<Insert another Racist Ghost Truck™ murder>

Cassie’s father’s friend is the latest victim. Cassie’s at the scene of the crime arguing with the mayor. She wants the stretch of road closed. She makes it clear that if the victims were white, the road would be closed. (Uh, sadly, yeah.) 

Later, at their motel, Sam decides to rib Dean a little more about his relationship with Cassie. MY GOD IS IT FUN. Dean, ofc, wants to drop this nonsense, but Sam, please continue. 

The brothers head out to investigate as insurance agents (DEAN, bby, knot your tie just a tad neater plz). They ask some guys about the Racist Ghost Truck™ and surprise, surprise, the black guy’s heard of it. The Racist Ghost Truck™  goes way back to the 1960s it seems. 

The boys put it together that they’re dealing with a Racist Ghost Truck™ and Dean agrees to go talk to Cassie. Sam suggests he also talk to her about the “serious unfinished business” between them as well. Dean admits that things were pretty serious with her. Sam just stares. 

Dean gets defensive and Sam realizes that Dean loved her. He was in love with Cassie but he dumped her. Dean doesn’t deny a thing. Sam realizes that she dumped him. OUCH. “Get in the car.” Classic Dean “I’m NOT going to talk about it” Winchester. (See 10x05 for further explanation.)

That night, Dean shows up at Cassie’s. They awkwardly talk, plastered to opposing pillars in the living room. 

Cassie calls Dean out on his emotional constipation. Dean calls her out on dumping him when he was open with her. AND OMG, Cassie dumped him because she thought he was going to dump her.

CUE MAKE OUT TIME. 

CUE MORE THAN MAKE OUT TIME.

CUE ME BEING MAD THAT I’M WATCHING THIS ON NETFLIX AND THE MUSIC IS NOT RIGHT. 

(LBR, for narrative symmetry, we’ll need Dean in a similar scene with another “Cas” in season 15 to finish the show, right?) 

The mayor is hanging out on the dreaded stretch of road looking at some killer blueprints. He seems pretty pleased with himself and heads to his car. Before he can even get in his car, the Racist Ghost Truck™ runs him off the road. 

Post-coital Dean and Cassie are enjoying a moment. (Natasha: what this episode lacks in plot has always been made up for me by these two #soft)

For This is a Rare Scene Science:

Cassie hints they could have a second chance. Dean says that he’s still involved with his “dad’s work.” Interrupting Moose interrupts their peaceful moment. 

Dean meets Sam on a suddenly snowy day (shakes fist at Vancouver) to investigate the Mayor’s death. The guy was crushed - as though by a large vehicle - but there were no tracks. 

At the newspaper office, Cassie and Dean sip hot beverages together and nestle in front of the warm glow of a cathode ray computer monitor.

Sam calls with property record information. The property where the Mayor died used to belong to someone named Dorian. Dorian went missing in the sixties, around the time of the first string of murders. As soon as the Mayor bought the property, he bulldozed the old house that was on it. Mysteriously. 

Dean and Cassie check the news; the first killing happened the day after the Dorian house got flattened. 

Cassie gets home and wanders her house pensively, when the lights begin to flicker. Outside the Racist Ghost Truck™ revs its engines. This ghost is just the fucking worst. It terrorizes Cassie, who calls Dean. 

Cut to a little while later and a debrief in the living room. Sam asks Cassie’s mom about her husband’s sighting of the truck before he died. She prevaricates but Dean presses her, telling her that Cassie’s life is on the line. HER LIFE, LADY! He can’t date her if she’s dead, okay?

Mrs. Robinson pins Cyrus Dorian as the owner of the truck. But he couldn’t have run anybody over...he died over 40 years ago. Dean, always so quick, catches the error. Dorian was reported missing, not dead. 

Cassie’s mom immediately confesses. When they were young, Dorian was jealous of her relationship with her soon-to-be husband Martin. Black men started to “disappear.” (I tell her that her relationship with her husband had nothing to do with this guy being a racist, murdering shit-bag.) When she and Martin got married, they decided to skip the church last minute and elope instead. The church was set on fire that day, killing a bunch of kids. Not too long after that, Dorian attacked Martin and would have killed him, except Martin got the upper hand and killed him instead. 

Dean, I love you but you are a fool for this next question: “Why didn’t you call the cops?” Mrs. Robinson schools him with her glare. 

Martin and two of his friends put Dorian into the truck and pushed the whole thing into the swamp. When the then-deputy (now the Mayor) discovered their secret, he buried it because he also knew all the murders that Dorian had committed.

Outside, Sam talks to Dean about what EVEN is his life investigating a case like this? They hang a lampshade on the premise of a killer ghost truck, before moving on to talking about how to stop the ghost. They’ll need to dig up Dorian’s body and burn it. 

Cassie heads outside. Her mom’s asleep and she is ready to kick some dead racist ass! Dean orders her to stay at home, though, because Dean is NO FUN. They kiss. Sam clears his throat in an obnoxious fashion. Witness Interrupting!Sam coming into his power, friends!

At the Dorian property, Dean drives a bulldozer and they drag the truck out of the swamp. The guys pull out the body, salt and burn it, and call it done. In the distance the ghost truck revs its engine. 

Dean recognizes the situation for the perfect opportunity for a drag race that it is, and tells Sam to figure out a way to burn the sopping wet (real) truck. Meanwhile, he’s gonna lead ghost truck on a merry chase through the countryside. 

Cue exciting chase music! 

It’s not looking good for our Dean, when Sam directs him to a very particular spot he’s found on the map. The truck revs its engines and drives straight for Dean, disappearing into mist as soon as it hits stone barriers on either side of the Impala. It turns out that Sam directed Dean to the old, burnt out church in hopes that the hallowed ground would destroy the spirit. Luckily, Sam’s hunch was right! Job done. 

Cassie and Dean bid farewell at the waterfront. Dean wonders if their separation could be a little less permanent and GUYS if I weren’t so invested in Dean/Cas for season 15 then I’d totally go for Dean/Cassie as a surprise comeback. (I like sassy Cassie. Imagine...journalist turned hunter because she KNOWS TOO MUCH.) Cassie’s not feeling it, though, or at least she doesn’t think they can make it work. It’s goodbye for realsies, now. With one last kiss, they part ways. 

(Sam doesn’t interrupt! Somebody give him an award.)

They drive off and reflect on the top takeaway of this episode: Cassie’s great. “You meet someone like her,” Sam ponders. “Doesn't it make you wonder if it's worth it? Putting everything else on hold? Doing what we do?” Whoa, it’s almost like this is a central thesis statement of the entire series. Now, add a pinch of “someone who knows the life” and you got yourself a winning recipe!

Dean avoids the question, slipping on sunglasses and settling down for a little shut-eye while Sam drives them to their next case.

_______________________________

Maximum Quoterdrive:

I'm a little skeptical about this...ghost stuff

We'll be working things out when we're ninety

Occasionally I miss boring

_______________________________

[hellimagines]

18 Months (Epilogue Headcanons) — Michael Langdon

Here is the official final part of 18 Months. It’s been a journey.

After Michael proposes to you, the two of you sneak off to the oh-to familiar bed down the hall

Gallant sleeps on the couch with earplugs, blasting music he hasn’t gotten to listen to in almost two years, and catching up on all the things he ‘missed’

(Its all fake celebrity news and fashion trends at this point, the universe trying to fill in the blanks Michael left behind)

The wedding is planned for Halloween of next year- all three of you need time to get accustomed to life once again (and you discreetly wanna be able to invite some of the homies from Murder House, but to do so, you’ve gotta convince everyone to make amends)

Gallant takes over the salon in full, putting his name on the front of the building with encouragement from you

You’re the one to keep him sober and on track, wanting to prove Evie wrong in the after life

Michael rebuilds The Cooperative, but it’s different this time, because he knows better than to destroy the world

The Cooperative is now a sort of... hit-man agency for assholes in power (🙄🙄). Michael and you use The Cooperative to weed out everyone that could potentially cause the apocalypse, now that you know exactly what will happen if it does happen. You’re basically Angels of Merch but low key and won’t admit it (Gallant stays out of that bullshit)

You, Michael, and Gallant get into so many fucking fights about where you’ll live (but everyone agrees no on Hawthorne). You wanna live in Murder House so you can rekindle everyone and it’s a total aesthetic. Gallant wants to live in his Nana’s mansion because ‘it’s fucking huge Y/N!!! You’re being d u m b, pack your bags and let’s go’. Michael wants Mead’s small house but he also wants Robichaux’s bc it’s in New Orleans and means a lot to him (sentimental fuck).

You guys rock paper scissor for it (“Don’t use your guys’ magic or I’ll fucking cry”)

You choose rock, Gallant chooses scissors, and Michael chooses paper

It’s hell for the whole day

Until finally you manage to sit everyone down over dinner and explain to them why you think Murder House is the best option (“Y/N it’s called murder house you’re fucking trippin”)

Despite all the comments, side eyes, huffs, scoffs, and groans... you win. You all decide to finally leave The Ritz and move into Murder House- But the boys still keep the deeds to their respective homes, and you Robichaux.

Moving into MH is... a hassle to say the least. The second Michael steps foot through the door, Tate is there (Gallant fucking screams “WHY DOES HE HAVE MY FACE”)

Tate and Michael get in a yelling match that you’re trying to referee, until finally, you just kinda... scream. It scares Michael so bad bc he thinks you’re hurt, and he body checks Tate out of the way (Tate doesn’t think you’re half bad)

Things are tense and awkward the first few days (Gallant nearly refuses to pee bc “y/n they’re gonna watch” and you refuse to shower bc “Michael they’re gonna watch” and Michael has a headache)

But within a month, things are alright. You’ve befriended Rose and Tate right off the bat (respectively told Constance to “get fucked”) and caught Nora up to speed on today’s events. Everyone is #shook she likes you

Gallant hates Chad, never says why, but just know that he does. He prefers Violet and Vivian, and the occasional Ben (“I’m a slut for Harmon’s I guess” “guess I’m a slut for Langdons then. What’s Michael a slut for?” “You, red eyeshadow, and wearing his fuCKING SHOES IN THE HOUSE”)

Michael doesn’t let you get a job even tho you tried to physically fight him over it once. Instead, you become his partner with The Cooperative shenanigans and organize most of the hits

Everybody thinks you’re in a poly relationship with Gallant and Michael (none of you correct them except Michael sometimes bc he’s confused about what that is)

By the time October rolls around, you’re shaking 24/7 (“I didn’t think I was actually gonna get married” “you said yes did you mean no” “nO! I love you and I wanna get married I just...” “I’ll be right here, don’t worry” “I’d sure fucking hope so”)

Your wedding dress is red (Constance screams) with black rose decals (pretty similar to The Outpost dress, but not quite)

Michael’s suit is red, too, with a black tie (“you wear black suits everyday, switch it up for her” “what do you know Gallant” “fashion that’s what you fucking punk”)

Gallant wears white with a red tie (Constance screams)

Gallant is the best man, obviously, and Madelyn is the maid of honor (she survived the apocalypse... Hannah is nowhere to be seen)

Jeff and Mutt beg on their knees to stand at the alter, so Michael lets them. You let Tate, Rose, and Ben stand on at the alter (read: forced)

The wedding is held at Gallant’s mansion, because it’s the biggest house to your guys’ name with the largest backyard

Somehow

Someway

You and Michael had grown a name-to-fame in the year leading up to the wedding

The place is packed and there’s celebrities (Gallant knows half of them, and you wanna faint bc “oh my god is that Harry styles?????? Michael is that Harry styles?????” “U gonna leave me for him?” “I fucking might” “then no, it’s not”)

The wedding goes smooth as fuck (shockingly). The Satanic Church members are in attendance (with an oath not to call Michael Satan and keep that shit under wraps), certain Murder House tenants (“I don’t wanna carpool”), and of course, Gallant’s celebrity bitches

Gallant does yours AND Michael’s hair, and it’s truly spectacular

You and Michael make your own vows, and don’t have a priest (confuses ppl but they don’t care bc the food is g r e a t and the aesthetic is perfect for pictures)

Gallant cries his eyes out. Madelyn looks proud as fuck. Jeff and Mutt look smug (especially Jeff. If he talks to anyone that night it’s “I’m the reason they’re married. Don’t forget that”)

Even though you’re now legally (Y/N) Langdon, and no longer have Foxx anywhere near your name, Michael still calls you that on the daily

You get a tattoo of a fox on your shoulder for his birthday, with ‘don’t tell me what to do’ scrawled on the bottom

Gallant goes with you to get it down, and he and Tate are the only ones who know about it, because nobody else in the house can keep a secret AND Tate helped draw the fox (it’s a typical red fox, but on a red and black backdrop that kinda looks like a moon [“Jesus get a new color scheme y/n” “suck my ass Tate you look like that bitch from blues clues”] but the fox has one (e/c) eye and one blue, and tiny horns poking out of his head)

For Michael’s birthday, you go to Ms. Mead’s home so you can be alone

Michael is sat patiently on the bed, tapping his bare thigh while watching you strip down

“I have a present”

“You are my present some c’m here”

“No, look”

You turn around slowly, exposing your shoulder. It’s in the spot Michael always rests his head when he holds onto your hips

Michael is off the bed in a second, rushing over to you. He traces the design carefully, like he’s afraid it’ll smudge even tho it’s weeks old (grumpasaurus-Rex sometimes during those weeks when you wouldn’t take your shirt off)

Michael is speechless, and you can feel your blush running from your cheeks to your neck

“It’s fucking beautiful”

“You think so?”

Michael doesn’t respond. He just kisses the tattoo before grabbing onto you and tossing you to the bed

And that, is the end of Langfox’s journey (with Gallant ofc). I tried to tie up as many things as possible, but my askbox is always open for questions, concerns, thoughts, or just love💕🖤❤️ Also, this was written on my phone, so I’m sorry if it looks weird.

[bthump]

What do you think the odds are of Casca sacrificing Moonlight Boy like you've been hoping?

oof, idk

not completely terrible? I keep calling it a longshot hail mary hope but honestly I think a lot of the especially recent foreshadowing is pointing in that direction tbf.

Like I have my theory that the behelit is Casca’s and it’s about to open due to her Eclipse memories despair and whatnot, and I still think that’s overall a v strong theory. Fate, all those questions about whether Guts is carrying the behelit for someone, Skull Knight planning shit and using Guts and co, the suggestions that he’s in cahoots with Danann, Danann acting shady (Guts get lost Casca’s scared of you vs here Casca put on this dress and go see Guts right now), our recent lesson on dragon roads and spirit trees, tbh Flowers of Distant Days also imo foreshadows SK using Guts, little details like the fact that Elfhelm has used the power of human sacrifice as magic b4 lol (that wickerman), and ofc the familiar visual representation of Casca’s despair:

So the next two questions are: who is Casca’s sacrifice and will she go through with it?

And I think if the behelit does open, the odds are actually very high that the sacrifice will be fetus/MB and not Farnese. My #1 reason for saying this is the fact that the fetus represented her thorn-covered despair-ridden (fragile human) heart in her dreamscape. Like imo that’s pretty damn indicative.

Plus as the… shard of herself closest to the Eclipse it also seems to represent her trauma, which yk, that’s pretty common for sacrifices. Person you loved the most and hated the most, and all. And parent/child sacrifices are the most common from what we’ve seen lol.

There’s also this:

The MB first appears right after a chapter full of foreshadowing and ominous warnings. This moment is Guts watching Casca acting all motherly and shit and brooding over SK’s warning about her wishes. A lot of people seem to take this as foreshadowing that Casca is going to prioritize a baby over revenge but like… Guts wants this. Idt this is Guts fretting over Casca’s motherly instincts because he doesn’t want kids or whatever lol, imo this is Guts seeing a ray of hope for the future and wondering if it’ll be snuffed out.

Further suggested by:

She couldn’t cope with her experience, so what will she do when he forces her sanity back? This is ominous in an active, dark way that a fixation on a magic baby just isn’t likely to follow through on imo.

There’s also the werebaby thing, and if that’s what’s actually happening then presumably MB is on his way to Elfhelm right around when Casca woke up. I mean timing that dumbass reveal after Casca’s screaming cliffhanger? Hm. And handily that fucking werebaby shit means it’s now less likely that MB is going to show up and soothe Casca’s despair through her maternal instincts, which was one of my original fears, and more likely that it’s just gonna add to her despair, assuming the ridiculous truth is revealed. (Speaking of “the person you loved the most and hated the most” lmao. Like yeah, that’s so on the nose it’s comedic, but everything about werebaby is an absurd comedy so.)

As for whether she’ll actually go through with the sacrifice or whether she’ll refuse or be interrupted by plot, that’s unfortunately dicier.

On the pro side you have “what will she do?” Meaning she should do something, not fail to do something. You have all the foreshadowing re: Guts losing himself to the armour for a while, which he needs a catalyst for. I can’t think of anything more well-suited for that than Casca, the symbol of his humanity, essentially sacrificing his hope for the future (and incidentally the very thing that likely keeps saving him from the armour), becoming a monster, and (I guess) Griffith suddenly appearing lmao. And there’s the fact that Casca becoming a monster would be an extremely convenient way for Miura to avoid writing a realistic v traumatized woman while not bypassing or underselling her trauma.

And structurally we’re at the point where something tragic has to happen to fuck things up and drive things forward and finally deliver on the assloads of ominous foreshadowing that Guts is willfully ignoring.

On the con side you have Farnese’s hope that her friendship with Casca will be enough and tbf there’s an arc’s worth of development behind that. And something someone else does could be what causes Guts to succumb to the armour - like learning SK has betrayed him or something maybe.

And this whole werebaby situation is a double-edged sword in regards to this theory.

On one hand it’s timely, like I mentioned above, and it’s an indication that MB is going to be present for whatever shit’s about to go down, and probably in a way that makes things worse rather than better. Sacrificing the kid would also get the story back on what at least I consider its track, rather than fully derailing it into wacky magic baby world.

But on the other hand, let’s be real here: it’s so fucking ridiculous and bizarre that it almost feels like it has to be the new centrepiece of the plot. Go big or go home. As wildly weird as it is to completely derail three relationships that have more than enough build up to carry the plot all on their own, one can argue it’s even weirder to introduce a magic werebaby that completely derails those relationships only to neutralize it a couple chapters later.

Like if Miura’s willing to go that fucking stupid, then yeah I’m completely willing to believe he’d commit to it and make Casca’s new conflict the fact that her rapist periodically transforms into her magic child. Why not? Werebaby has dissolved all the faith I had in his ability as a writer. I no longer have that intrinsic belief that Berserk will ultimately make sense, resolve in a satisfying way, and generally work as a whole to fall back on lol.

So anyway, all that said, let’s just lay out the possibilities:

1. Casca does not sacrifice MB, maybe I’m entirely wrong about everything or maybe she turns down the offer/plot happens and she doesn’t get a chance. The fact that Griffith transforms into a baby every full moon is the new big plot point and character motivation. Story’s functionally over, everyone go home.

2. Casca does not sacrifice MB, the fact that Griffith transforms into a baby every full moon is a new big plot point, and will probably be the central issue of Casca’s narrative, but it won’t significantly alter Guts and Griffith’s relationship. Griffith’s feelings for Guts are still real and gonna bite him, Guts will still focus more on Griffith than the werebaby thing, Casca’s narrative is gonna suck like a black hole, everything’s gonna be weird. This would be incredibly awkward and horrifically bad writing, but honestly I feel like this might actually be the most probable option lol. I mean I’ve always acknowledged that fetus is probably a factor in Griffith saving Casca even while arguing it’s irrelevant to most of Griff’s feelings, I just didn’t think its relevance would end up being this silly lol.

3. Casca does sacrifice MB, this essentially cures Griffith of his infanthropy, and the original hint of babality we saw at the Hill of Swords essentially existed to set up hopeful expectations of Griffith’s ~big weakness~ before climatically dashing them when everything goes wrong for Our Heroes. Moment of hilarious triumph for Griff, low point for Guts and co.

4. Casca does sacrifice MB, this negates the werebaby thing but still affects Griffith negatively in another way - maybe ironically he’s a sacrifice himself now which causes problems for him, or handily negates the apostle worship effect for Casca. And/or because of this sacrifice Elfhelm succeeds in some plan of their own and maybe fucks up both Guts and co and Griffith, or idk, something. This makes werebaby potentially relevant enough to (theoretically) justify its existence as more than just a weird ass bait and switch/plot point to get both Griffith and MB to Elfhelm lol, while also not actually focusing on Griffith being a werebaby as a major plot point. Win/win.

It’s like… I think it’s pretty likely that the behelit will open for Casca and if that happens I think it’s pretty likely that MB will be the sacrificial offering, and if that happens I think it’s pretty likely Casca will say yes, and if that happens I think it’s pretty likely that we’ll be saved from werebaby. But that’s a lot of hope resting on hope, especially when the odds recently got a lot higher that I’m just totally on a completely different wavelength than Miura lol.

Anyway ty for asking. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst I guess.