#like its normal and to nate dogg it so is
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natemac you always amaze🥲
Favalanche Feud
How many hockey sticks does a player go through in a week?
You said 5. Not on the list at all.
Number one answer: 3
Number two: 4
Number three: 2
Number four answer only had one respondent, that was Nate: 9
*guffaws of disbelief yet full belief
#nine sticks in one week that's breaking at least one everyday with two broken on two of those seven days#your strength turns me on no doubt#as does the turmoil u hold within u#be still my heart#and you know he answered that so seriously and factually#like its normal and to nate dogg it so is#brad hunt#nathan mackinnon#colorado avalanche#NINE STICKS!
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The Recovery Plan | N. MacKinnon
Summary: Nathan and Y/N have a date planned, but a nasty cold gets in the way.
WC: 2K
CW: Sick fic! Bad communication, slight insecure reader, so the tiniest little bit of angst. Tooth rotting fluff, Nathan is a sweetheart. Confessions, swearing, lightly proofread. Let me know if I missed anything!
A/N: Hart trophy and best boyfriend award goes to this fella!
<><><><>
You let your phone ring and ring, then go silent, the third call coming through and going to voicemail.
One thing everyone knows, you, his teammates, the media, basically the whole hockey-enjoying public, is that Nathan MacKinnon is a health nut. Like, twenty-four hours a day, never shuts off kind of health nut. In the few months you had been exclusive, he had maybe three cheat days, and had never seen you sick. So when you woke up with chills, a fever, a cough, and a head stuffed to the brim with pressure, you decided to let Nate’s calls go to voicemail and curl up in your cocoon of blankets.
He was leaving in a few days for a long, important road trip, and you were not going to be the reason Nate couldn’t play. A cold was absolutely unacceptable to pass along to him. No amount of phone ringing or anything else could convince you otherwise. You would just have to instacart some NyQuil and some soup and tough it out solo. You were not going to bother him with your issues when he had much more important things to be worrying about.
The problem was, today was Nate’s off day, and the original plan was to meet up at your favorite cafe for a light lunch, then take a trip to Red Rocks. There was absolutely no way that was happening now. You hoped he would just assume you were tired and make his own rain check of the date. You didn’t let the thoughts swirl too long before falling asleep.
Nathan was completely and utterly worried.
You had never blown him off like this, not once in your year-ish long friendship or your few months of dating. He knew you always had your phone on you, and there really wasn’t a good reason to not have it. He was calling from the cafe, now 15 minutes past your arranged meet time. After dialing you about five times, he dialed Miles Wood instead, who happened to live in the same complex as you.
“Hey Dogg,” Woody answered, “what’s up man?”
“Hey, um, have you seen Y/N? I’ve called her a bunch, we were supposed to meet up but she isn’t picking up the phone.” Nate explained, hearing a faint hmm on the other end.
“I haven’t. I’m a ways out from home otherwise I would go check for you. Maybe she forgot?” Woody offered, secretly hoping it wasn’t that because of the awkwardness that would ensue if that was the case.
“Ok, I’ll go check on her. Thanks Woody.” He said, and hung up the phone after their goodbyes.
He threw on a cap and his sunglasses, making sure he had all of his essentials before locking up and getting in the car. You had given him a spare key in case of anything, so it was going to be no problem getting in. He just hoped for the best, but still assumed the worst secretly. He had a nasty habit of doing so sometimes.
Once he arrived at your complex, admittedly speeding a little to get there, he found your car still parked in its reserved spot. That was slightly relieving. He basically skidded into the guest spot and hopped out, locking up quickly. He chose to take the stairs up to your floor, deeming it faster than waiting in the lobby for the elevator. Your door was locked, understandably, the irrational thoughts slowly leaving his anxious mind. He slid the key into the lock, twisting and opening the door softly to a dark apartment.
Not a single light was on, the only light coming in from the window in the living space. It was very, very quiet, unusual for the space when you were in it. He loved how you lit up every room you graced. Things were tidy and normal, so no crazy robbery and kidnapping. He roamed around, looking for a sign from you in the kitchen, the living space, and the balcony, finding nothing.
Finally, he came to your bedroom, slowly twisting the handle in case you were inside, he didn’t want to startle you if you were. He noticed the black out curtains drawn, the room completely dark save for your salt lamp in the corner. Your floor was messy, tissues littering the ground and stacked high in the trash can. Your phone was on the nightstand, plugged in face down. Your bed was an absolute mountain of blankets unlike anything he had ever seen, just a tuft of your tangled hair sticking out the top on the pillow.
“Oh, baby.” He muttered to himself, a pang of guilt washing over him.
Now he understood. His girl was sick and sleeping while he was definitely ringing her phone off the hook. He stepped closer, trying to find you under all of that fabric. Your head was poking out onto your pillows, hair a mess and cheeks blazing red. You had a crumpled tissue in your hand. He stuck his hand out, running the back along your forehead. You were roasting under there, but he could feel your body shivering from the chills. You stirred, but didn’t wake.
He quickly stood straight, leaving you with a quiet click of the door. He locked up, dashing back down to the car and speeding to the local Walgreens. He filled his basket with all sorts of cold and flu necessities: medicine, cough drops, peppermint tea, your favorite Gatorade, a few of those crackable instant cold compresses, and a thermometer. He hoped no one would stop him in here, wanting to be as fast as he could. Luckily it didn’t appear that anyone knew or cared that he was there, shouting a thanks over his shoulder.
The next stop was Whole Foods, so he could grab some chicken noodle soup that was remarkably close to how his own mother made hers, when Nathan or his sister were sick as children. He threw in a sandwich for him to eat later, an extra couple of your favorite drinks and a chocolate croissant for you when you were feeling up to it. He checked himself out, making his way back to your apartment as quickly as he could. He walked back in with everything, trying to be as quiet as possible. He quickly set up a little tray of soup, medicine, and gatorade. He heated up some water in your kettle and steeped a couple of the tea bags. He cracked the cold compress and wrapped it in a paper towel before making his way back to your room.
He set the tray down on your desk, walking over to your window to crack it under the curtains, airing out the stuffy, overheated space. He checked the thermometer, making sure it was calibrated and working. Now he could finally sit down on the edge of your bed, and start the Nathan MacKinnon recovery plan.
He placed the thermometer on your forehead, dragging it across and down, 102.2F flashing back at him when it stopped thinking with a beep. That made him worried, more than anything else. He grabbed the cold compress, resting it on your forehead so, so softly. You stirred again, this time waking up. The throbbing pressure in your head had only gotten worse, the pain now rattling your jaw and your teeth. You were sweating under all of those blankets, but so impossibly cold at the same time. You groaned in pain before rolling over into a heavy mass that was dipping your side of the bed. Nate’s hand found your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek in feathery dashes.
“N-Nate?” Your voice coming out hoarse and patchy. “No, no you need to get out of here.”
“I’m not going anywhere, babe. You need to break this fever.” He said, his hand sliding down to brush over your shoulders.
“No, you can’t get sick because of me. You have so much to worry about right now, I’ll be fine.” You insisted, watching his face slide into a sad frown through sleepy, delirious vision. “I’m just gonna instacart s-some meds. Go home before you catch this.”
“I beat you to it already. I’m not leaving so you can stop trying to convince me.” He crouched down, “do you think you can sit up to take something?”
You nodded, gingerly sitting up, trying to keep the pain from getting any worse. The blankets slid down as you sat up against the head board, now noticing that you had slept until 3:30pm. You guys would have been enjoying the beauty of Red Rocks by now. Nate grabbed the tray of goodies from your desk, setting it down gently. He popped the two gel caps out of the package, silently asking for your hand before unscrewing the cap to the Gatorade.
“We need to keep you hydrated, so keep taking sips of that,” he mentioned, watching you weakly swallow the cold medicine. “I hope you like chicken noodle soup, it’s very good.”
He picked up the spoon, taking some and guided it to your lips, letting you take a few bites. It definitely helped to settle your stomach, but chewing was painful. You honestly had no strength for more than half of the little bowl of soup, so Nate picked it up and returned it to the desk, placing the Gatorade next to you again. This time, Nate rounded the bed, climbing in and grabbing the remote, earning little hoarse nonononono’s from you.
He didn’t listen, of course, just adjusting so your head was resting in his lap, pulling a couple of the endless blankets up over your shoulder. He laid his hand gently over the cold compress, keeping it in place, while he picked an easy watch kind of show. Finally he sent a text to Woody, letting him know you were ok and that they were going to have a sleepy day in. His hand found your head, dragging his fingers through the tangles so you wouldn’t have to brush a huge birds nest out of your hair when you were back on your feet.
“Nate, please go, I can’t even imagine getting you sick. You guys have h-hard division rival teams coming up, they need you more than-“ you tried to reason.
“I told you already that I’m not leaving. Your fever was pretty high, and you needed to eat and drink something. I’m here to support you, whatever that looks like, and today it looks like this.” He explained, calmly and softly like it was the easiest decision he had ever made, “plus, I’ve been with you the last two days, slept here, and I haven’t gotten sick. And if I do get sick, I’ll figure it out with the staff. I’ve done it before.”
“I ruined the whole day, and my body hurts, and I don’t want you to have to deal with me right now.” You said, your eyes beginning to mist up with frustrated tears, “please, I promise I can deal with it.”
He realized you had begun to cry softly, a couple of tears dripping onto his shorts, “oh baby, you didn’t ruin anything!” He turned your body so you were laying face up, his hands coming to brush away your tears, “Also, I’m not dealing with you, I want to be there for you when you’re struggling. I don’t want you to handle it by yourself. This is just what you do when you love someone.” He rambled, the words coming out quicker than he could think.
He… loves you?
That’s the first time either of you had said it. He had planned to take you on a nice date, give you flowers, wine and dine the hell out of you, before finally telling you he loved you. Of course he knew he loved you, so he gave up the momentary wave of apprehension and went with it. No time like the present, even if that present was stuck in bed with a brutal cold.
“You love me?” You asked, choking on the words a little bit.
“Yeah, I do.” He said, looking deep into your eyes for any sign of rejection, “and I want you to be ok, so rest. We can talk about it more when you’re ready to.”
You turned back towards the tv again, Nate grabbing the cold compress to put back on your head. You close your eyes, feeling sleep call you. Nate returned to carding his fingers through your hair, keeping a slow and steady pace. Every once in a while he would run the compress over your neck and shoulders, trying to cool your burning body. The meds were already helping to bring the fever down. He could feel your breath begin to even out against his leg.
“Nate?” You asked, almost too quiet to be heard.
“Hmm?” He hummed, leaning down to hear you better.
“I love you too.” You admitted, feeling his lips press into your head before sleep overtook you again.
<><><><>
:)
#nathan mackinnon#Nathan mackinnon imagine#Nathan mackinnon fic#nhl#nhl fic#nhl rpf#t’s imagines#colorado avalanche#colorado avalanche fic#avs fic#your honor I’m convinced he would actually do all of this#Nathan mackinnon x reader
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Friday Inspiration 298
“We put so much time and effort into making sure that people who are perceived as different understand what it would be like if they were normal. But we rarely ever do the opposite: Pushing those who see themselves as normal to understand what it would be like if they were different.” —Filmmaker James Robinson (video)
youtube
I somehow ended up searching for all the The New York Times Magazine “Letter of Recommendation” columns, dug up this one on “Collecting One Book,” and I’m so glad I did.
“Everyone has been creative at least once.” —Seth Godin (thanks, Abigail)
The Oatmeal on why it’s so hard for your brain to take a compliment
If you have not already seen this clip of Snoop Dogg commentating on Olympic events, please do yourself a favor and watch it
I can’t say I’ve pressed play on a Sublime track in many years, but I definitely got hooked on this history of the band on the 25th anniversary of their Sublime album, including this paragraph: “To understand Sublime is to understand the telepathy of Nowell, Gaugh, and Wilson, which is to understand the cultural dialect of Long Beach. And as Northside LBC historian Vince Staples once told me: to understand Long Beach is to recognize its diversity, as embodied by Sublime, Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg, Warren G, and Cameron Diaz all simultaneously attending Long Beach public high schools in the late ’80s. As the story goes, the future all-American Mary bought weed from a pre-Chronic Snoop at Long Beach Poly.”
I feel simultaneously personally attacked and validated by this satirical piece titled “Wow! This Woman Made a Terrible Meal For Herself”
—Brendan
The post Friday Inspiration 298 appeared first on Semi-Rad.com.
from Explore https://semi-rad.com/2021/08/friday-inspiration-298/ via http://www.rssmix.com/
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food4thot entry: 5
first things first, I gotta send a shout out to my OG joe budden. The nigga is a goat. I remember being like 12 years old, first trying weed listending to gangtsa party by him and nate dogg while playing saints row. shit was brazy.
one thing i had on my mind was the constant amount of niggas trying to use rap as a come up. normally i make fun of the irony of me using rap as a way to come up, mostly because i have a dope story and perspective on life, in my opinion and from what niggas tell me, but damn so many niggas sounding the same, fucking the same hoes, using the same beats which is their only saving grace with a candace to make up for all of it. idk, maybe its because im 20 years old trying to find my lane in music its hard to look at the big picture. i fuck with most rappers, besides post malone lmao, i guess im excited for the next wave//generation of niggas that inspire me.
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The 25 Best Songs About Butts: A Ranked Guide
New Post has been published on http://www.kickoffme.com/the-25-best-songs-about-butts-a-ranked-guide/
The 25 Best Songs About Butts: A Ranked Guide
The 25 Best Songs About Butts: A Ranked Guide
If we’ve learned one thing during the course of the last year or so, it’s that butts are back—and with them the resurrection of a the booty song. While some critics have commented that a healthy backside never really went anywhere, we respectfully disagree. To wit: There once was a time when Jennifer Lopez‘s most defining feature was her shapely butt.
Throughout the late ’90s and early 2000s, Lopez was an enigma in a world of stick-skinny models and actresses, causing critics and the public alike to gawk like she was some sort of mystical creature whose derriere was a thing of wonder. But somewhere around the mid-aughts, ultra-thin became the norm in Hollywood again, and it seemed that J.Lo’s booty went the way of Juicy tracksuits. Then in 2007 a girl named Kim Kardashian appeared on the scene, and the topic of celebrity butts was once again at the forefront.
Now, a decade later, it’s at an all-time high, with everyone in Hollywood tripping over themselves to prove that they have the biggest, roundest, sexiest ass. Even J.Lo’s back on the butt train, trying semi-desperately to steal back her title, having launched a not-subtle single called “Booty,” and promoted it with—what else?—a photo of her own backside.
MORE: Kim Kardashian Responds to Fans Who Say She Shaded Beauty Blogger Jackie Aina
But there’s a long history of moneymakers being idolized in song—from Queen’s 1976 hit “Fat-Bottomed Girls” to 1992’s defining ass anthem “Baby Got Back”—so we decided to do a deep-dive into music’s vast booty-themed catalog and come up with a ranking of the 25 best songs about butts.
25. “Anaconda” Nicki Minaj
When Nicki first appeared on the music scene, her rap skills were bananas (if you haven’t heard her ferocious verse in Kanye West‘s 2010 “Monster,” seek it out, stat), but it’s safe to say that her lyrics have declined. Not that we don’t love a good lettuce reference, but “he tossed my salad so good we be calling him romaine” is maybe less than brilliant.
24. “U and Dat” E-40 Ft. T-Pain and Khandi
Most of 2006 was spend tryna to get to yooouuuuuuuuuu and that booty.
23. “Shake That” by Eminem ft. Nate Dogg
There’s the stuff that made Eminem interesting, then there’s stuff like this. It’s a forgettable party track, but it gets points for featuring the ever-smooth Dogg (RIP.)
22. “Booty” Jennifer Lopez ft. Iggy Azalea
All the ingredients for a perfect pop song: Catchy, sexy, a little desperate.
21. “Salt Shaker” Ying Yang Twins Ft. Lil John and the East Side Boyz
God bless the Dirty South.
20. “Shake Your Rump” Beastie Boyz
If anyone doubts the inventiveness of the Beastie Boyz lyrics, Google this song.
19. “2 Much Booty (In da Pants),” Soundmaster T
If you were listening to pop radio in 1994, you’ve probably still got “DANCE! Too much booty in the pants!” in your head.
18. “Tush” Ghostface Killah Ft. Missy Elliot
If it sounds familiar, it’s because it was censored and played on the radio in 2003 as “Push.” Not surprising considering its crowning lyrics include “tush, tush, tush/Wanna slide in the bush, bush, bush?/I’m on top, you like push, push, push/Keep it low like shush, shush, shush.
17. “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” Trace Adkins
We realize this 2004 country track isn’t exactly good, per se, but we’d be remiss to not include it simply for the fact that its ringtone alone received more than 75,000 downloads and there’s a European compilation album built around various mixes of the song.
16. “Pull Over” Trina
Early-aughts rapper Trina was deemed “as nasty as Lil’ Kim used to be” when her album “Da Baddest Bitch” dropped in 2000, and this song pretty much proves it. Trina might have faded away after one album, but this jet ski-heavy video lives on.
15. “All About That Bass” Meghan Trainor
We know the retro-tinged earworm is about having a big ass, but it’s safe to say nobody knows what being all about bass really means. Let us help: “You know how the bass guitar in a song is like its ‘thickness,’ the ‘bottom’? I kind of related a body to that,” Trainor told Billboard. We assume that means the treble is a lightweight.
MORE: Definitive Proof That Jennifer Lopez Never Ages
14. “Low” Flo Rida
The song that sparked shorties everywhere to get ‘dem Apple Bottom jeans. And boots with the fur. And Reeboks with the strap.
13. “Culo” Pitbull ft. Lil John
Before Mr. Worldwide exclusively dressed like an extra from “Scarface,” he bopped around Miami in tank tops, bellowing “CULO!!!” Suffice it to say, you need not be a linguist to know what that means.
12. “Bubble Butt” Major Lazer ft. 2 Chainz, Bruno Mars, Tyga and Mystic
An all-star lineup spewing some of pop music’s most profound lyrics. Behold:
Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Turn around, stick it out, show the world what you got a Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Turn around, stick it out, show the world you got it!
11. “Big Ole Butt” LL Cool J
This story has everything: Milkshakes, the mall, shrimp and steak at Red Lobster, bamboo earrings, pipin’ hot pizza, and a hoe named Tina who has a BOB.
10. (Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty” KC and the Sunshine Band
This 1976 confection was considered controversial when it came out, thanks to randy lyrics that include “shake shake shake/shake shake shake/shake your booty.” A testament to its longevity: It’s still played at every catering hall wedding, ’70s theme party, and bar mitzvah in America.
9. “My Humps” The Black-Eyed Peas
Arguably the song that put Fergie’s lovely lady lumps on the map.
8. “Back Dat Ass Up” Juvenile
His name kind of says it all, but we still dig this 1998 banger.
7. “Bonita Applebum” A Tribe Called Quest
Granted, this classic isn’t about butts, per se, but we’re giving it a spot because of its title. And because it’s awesome.
6. “Ms. Fat Booty” Mos Def
Arguably the smoothest song about butts ever written.
5. “Fat Bottomed Girls” Queen
Freddie Mercury and the gang made waves with their 1976 celebration of curves.
4. “Bootylicious” Destiny’s Child
You know the story: This song’s immense popularity causes it to be added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2004.
3. “Rumpshaker” Wrex-n-Effects
As soon as people heard that first saxophone lick (sampled from 1972’s “Darkest Light” by Lafayette Afro Rock Band) they were hooked on 1992’s now-classic. Fun fact: The second verse was written by a young Pharrell Williams.
2. “Baby Got Back” Sir Mix-a-Lot
Oh. My. God Becky, we know this song normally ends up at number one on lists like these, and while it was groundbreaking in its own way, there’s no doubt it’s become a parody of itself, thanks to a Glee cover and an ad campaign for Charmin toilet paper that showcases an animated bear rocking out to the original song.
1. “The Thong Song” Sisqo
We herby declare this absolutely ridiculous song number one on our list, thanks to its creative use of strings (performed by violinist Bruce Dukov, believe it or not), it’s early-aughts benchmarks (Sisqo’s bleached hair, belly button tattoo, flowy all-white outfit, fingerless gloves on the beach), agile gymnastics moves, and the fact that the entire world was trumpeting “THONG-THA-THONG-THONG-THONG” with straight faces as we rung in the millennium.
Originally published January 2015. Updated June 2017.
June 29, 2017 10:38 pm (Source)
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The 25 Best Songs About Butts: A Ranked Guide
New Post has been published on http://www.kickoffme.com/the-25-best-songs-about-butts-a-ranked-guide/
The 25 Best Songs About Butts: A Ranked Guide
The 25 Best Songs About Butts: A Ranked Guide
If we’ve learned one thing during the course of the last year or so, it’s that butts are back—and with them the resurrection of a the booty song. While some critics have commented that a healthy backside never really went anywhere, we respectfully disagree. To wit: There once was a time when Jennifer Lopez‘s most defining feature was her shapely butt.
Throughout the late ’90s and early 2000s, Lopez was an enigma in a world of stick-skinny models and actresses, causing critics and the public alike to gawk like she was some sort of mystical creature whose derriere was a thing of wonder. But somewhere around the mid-aughts, ultra-thin became the norm in Hollywood again, and it seemed that J.Lo’s booty went the way of Juicy tracksuits. Then in 2007 a girl named Kim Kardashian appeared on the scene, and the topic of celebrity butts was once again at the forefront.
Now, a decade later, it’s at an all-time high, with everyone in Hollywood tripping over themselves to prove that they have the biggest, roundest, sexiest ass. Even J.Lo’s back on the butt train, trying semi-desperately to steal back her title, having launched a not-subtle single called “Booty,” and promoted it with—what else?—a photo of her own backside.
MORE: Kim Kardashian Responds to Fans Who Say She Shaded Beauty Blogger Jackie Aina
But there’s a long history of moneymakers being idolized in song—from Queen’s 1976 hit “Fat-Bottomed Girls” to 1992’s defining ass anthem “Baby Got Back”—so we decided to do a deep-dive into music’s vast booty-themed catalog and come up with a ranking of the 25 best songs about butts.
25. “Anaconda” Nicki Minaj
When Nicki first appeared on the music scene, her rap skills were bananas (if you haven’t heard her ferocious verse in Kanye West‘s 2010 “Monster,” seek it out, stat), but it’s safe to say that her lyrics have declined. Not that we don’t love a good lettuce reference, but “he tossed my salad so good we be calling him romaine” is maybe less than brilliant.
24. “U and Dat” E-40 Ft. T-Pain and Khandi
Most of 2006 was spend tryna to get to yooouuuuuuuuuu and that booty.
23. “Shake That” by Eminem ft. Nate Dogg
There’s the stuff that made Eminem interesting, then there’s stuff like this. It’s a forgettable party track, but it gets points for featuring the ever-smooth Dogg (RIP.)
22. “Booty” Jennifer Lopez ft. Iggy Azalea
All the ingredients for a perfect pop song: Catchy, sexy, a little desperate.
21. “Salt Shaker” Ying Yang Twins Ft. Lil John and the East Side Boyz
God bless the Dirty South.
20. “Shake Your Rump” Beastie Boyz
If anyone doubts the inventiveness of the Beastie Boyz lyrics, Google this song.
19. “2 Much Booty (In da Pants),” Soundmaster T
If you were listening to pop radio in 1994, you’ve probably still got “DANCE! Too much booty in the pants!” in your head.
18. “Tush” Ghostface Killah Ft. Missy Elliot
If it sounds familiar, it’s because it was censored and played on the radio in 2003 as “Push.” Not surprising considering its crowning lyrics include “tush, tush, tush/Wanna slide in the bush, bush, bush?/I’m on top, you like push, push, push/Keep it low like shush, shush, shush.
17. “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” Trace Adkins
We realize this 2004 country track isn’t exactly good, per se, but we’d be remiss to not include it simply for the fact that its ringtone alone received more than 75,000 downloads and there’s a European compilation album built around various mixes of the song.
16. “Pull Over” Trina
Early-aughts rapper Trina was deemed “as nasty as Lil’ Kim used to be” when her album “Da Baddest Bitch” dropped in 2000, and this song pretty much proves it. Trina might have faded away after one album, but this jet ski-heavy video lives on.
15. “All About That Bass” Meghan Trainor
We know the retro-tinged earworm is about having a big ass, but it’s safe to say nobody knows what being all about bass really means. Let us help: “You know how the bass guitar in a song is like its ‘thickness,’ the ‘bottom’? I kind of related a body to that,” Trainor told Billboard. We assume that means the treble is a lightweight.
MORE: Definitive Proof That Jennifer Lopez Never Ages
14. “Low” Flo Rida
The song that sparked shorties everywhere to get ‘dem Apple Bottom jeans. And boots with the fur. And Reeboks with the strap.
13. “Culo” Pitbull ft. Lil John
Before Mr. Worldwide exclusively dressed like an extra from “Scarface,” he bopped around Miami in tank tops, bellowing “CULO!!!” Suffice it to say, you need not be a linguist to know what that means.
12. “Bubble Butt” Major Lazer ft. 2 Chainz, Bruno Mars, Tyga and Mystic
An all-star lineup spewing some of pop music’s most profound lyrics. Behold:
Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Turn around, stick it out, show the world what you got a Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Bubble butt, bubble, bubble, bubble butt Turn around, stick it out, show the world you got it!
11. “Big Ole Butt” LL Cool J
This story has everything: Milkshakes, the mall, shrimp and steak at Red Lobster, bamboo earrings, pipin’ hot pizza, and a hoe named Tina who has a BOB.
10. (Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty” KC and the Sunshine Band
This 1976 confection was considered controversial when it came out, thanks to randy lyrics that include “shake shake shake/shake shake shake/shake your booty.” A testament to its longevity: It’s still played at every catering hall wedding, ’70s theme party, and bar mitzvah in America.
9. “My Humps” The Black-Eyed Peas
Arguably the song that put Fergie’s lovely lady lumps on the map.
8. “Back Dat Ass Up” Juvenile
His name kind of says it all, but we still dig this 1998 banger.
7. “Bonita Applebum” A Tribe Called Quest
Granted, this classic isn’t about butts, per se, but we’re giving it a spot because of its title. And because it’s awesome.
6. “Ms. Fat Booty” Mos Def
Arguably the smoothest song about butts ever written.
5. “Fat Bottomed Girls” Queen
Freddie Mercury and the gang made waves with their 1976 celebration of curves.
4. “Bootylicious” Destiny’s Child
You know the story: This song’s immense popularity causes it to be added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2004.
3. “Rumpshaker” Wrex-n-Effects
As soon as people heard that first saxophone lick (sampled from 1972’s “Darkest Light” by Lafayette Afro Rock Band) they were hooked on 1992’s now-classic. Fun fact: The second verse was written by a young Pharrell Williams.
2. “Baby Got Back” Sir Mix-a-Lot
Oh. My. God Becky, we know this song normally ends up at number one on lists like these, and while it was groundbreaking in its own way, there’s no doubt it’s become a parody of itself, thanks to a Glee cover and an ad campaign for Charmin toilet paper that showcases an animated bear rocking out to the original song.
1. “The Thong Song” Sisqo
We herby declare this absolutely ridiculous song number one on our list, thanks to its creative use of strings (performed by violinist Bruce Dukov, believe it or not), it’s early-aughts benchmarks (Sisqo’s bleached hair, belly button tattoo, flowy all-white outfit, fingerless gloves on the beach), agile gymnastics moves, and the fact that the entire world was trumpeting “THONG-THA-THONG-THONG-THONG” with straight faces as we rung in the millennium.
Originally published January 2015. Updated June 2017.
June 29, 2017 10:38 pm (Source)
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