#like its a CHRONIC illness theyre not magically going to get better maybe if your classmate stayed home instead of giving viruses youd know

[bueris]

high key hate school sick leave policies like. I'm barely clinging to the edge of semi-consciousness what use will I be learning??? I feel like a train hit me fym I can only stay off if I throw up? this is why 3/4 of my school got covid

[hereticalapothecary]

On Vetting Companions

VET YOUR SPIRIT COMPANIONS. 

I’m loud about this because I’m passionate. I’ve made mistakes and I’ve seen some really horrible mistakes. This post is meant to teach anyone who wants to have a spirit companion how to vet a spirit that enters your space and asks to be a companion. 

This goes doubly for anyone who conjures or helps adopt out spirits or has a spirit refuge.

So, a spirit companion is essentially a lifelong friend. And as with making any friend, human or otherwise, you want to make sure of a few things: is this friend using me? Does this friend respect my boundaries? Does this friend respect my other friends and my space? Does this friend know people who will get me into trouble or will hurt me? In welcoming this friend, would I wind up running with a “bad crowd”? Are we compatible as far as personalities go? These are all things you’d want to know about a friend, and it goes doubly so for spirit companions. You know your limits and what you’re willing to accept. These kinds of questions are just the beginning when it comes to vetting a spirit for companionship. 

Where to start?

When I started learning about spirit companionship, I had no idea about vetting. That’s how I basically ended up with some very young spirits as a few of my first companions and had to go back and ask them questions about where they came from. Thankfully, since I have an honesty policy among my companions, they were able to tell me about themselves without much worry about whether or not they were being trutful. 

However, if youre meeting a spirit for the first time and vetting them for companionship, you have to be careful. You can’t rely on wards or other spirits. While it is good to get help and second opinions, you have to do the footwork yourself. You need to be able to read their energy and tell the difference between thoughtform and spirit. (More on this later.) You cannot rely on drugs or truth serums to give you accurate information Would you ask your potential new friend to take some drugs in order for you to evaluate if you want to be friends with them? Then don’t do it to a spirit. Plus, you may or may not have made a good or effective truth serum. Some spirits may have a resistance to the kind of magic you used for it. Some may take it and still be able to trick you by telling half truths or dodging certain topics. It may be true for them but it may not be the answer that you’re actually needing from them. 

Don’t rely on others or tools to do the hard work of vetting. 

Have banishing tools handy. Some spirits are clever enough to slip through even the strongest of wards in order to wreak havoc. Hell, I’ve come across spirits and entities that are strong enough to almost shatter my wards. Don’t assume your wards are working. Be extra thorough. 

What to know about the spirit:

I have a form that I use to interview spirits who want to be companions. Start with a list of house rules. If they’re serious about following house rules, they’ll agree. Make it clear that you’re willing to ask them to leave if they don’t meet your qualifications and standards. And if they still stick around, make it clear that youre willing to banish them. You’re essentially going into an interview. Set the tone so they know that this is something important and serious. 

Start with their name, pronouns, and age. Some may give you a nickname. Make sure you get their actual, true name. Using nicknames for your companions is fine! (I’d encourage it, especially if you want to post about them.) But it’s incredibly important that you build trust by knowing their name, especially if you have to kick them out later.

Follow up by asking more questions. Read their energy while you do so. Are you seeing any red flags? Hesitancies? You’ll want to know where they come from and why theyre even interested in companionship. Not every spirit who passes through your area is a spirit who wants companionship. Make sure that they have a good reason for being a companion. Ask about their species, especially if it’s a species you’ve never encountered before. (You’ll want to follow up on that. Some spirits are willing to lie about their species in order to make you think they’re cool or special or that you’re cool or special.) Ask about their families. Do they come from a place where spirits of their species are primarily solitary, or is there a family group setup? Why would they want to leave that for companionship? 

Ask about their ideal family size. Some spirits are shy or need a little extra attention and require a small spirit family size. Others like having a lot of other spirits around. This is important to know because if your spirit family size changes, you’re going to need to make sure the rest of your family is comfortable. Ask if they want to be bound to a vessel. Not every spirit does. Some have trauma related to bindings. Do not bind a spirit without their enthusiastic consent. And if you dont feel experienced enough to bind, don’t. A painful binding is far, far worse, and I’ve seen spirits with scars from badly done bindings. 

Ask about their likes and dislikes! What kinds of magic are they good at, if any? Do they have any sort of dietary restrictions or special preferences? What is their overall personality like? Are they seeking a romantic relationship or just a familial bond? (This is very important! You can say no to a spirit who wants romantic or sexual relationships with you.)

Here’s the thing/ Some spirits will put on their “interview clothes” so to speak. They aren’t lying, but perhaps they’re just not talking about flaws or problems they might have because they want you to say yes to companionship. Ask about their weaknesses. Follow up on these questions! Ask them again later to see if they are consistent. 

Health Checkup

You’ll want to do a health checkup. Any major scars or injuries? Any mental health problems? Any disabilities? Do they need a prosthetic? Do they have any parasites or major energy blockages? Are they sickly or have a chronic illness? You will want to know everything you can about their health, because you may not be equipped to help take care of a spirit who has a need that you can’t meet. You may already deal with depression and maybe you don’t want a spirit who has their own PTSD or have their own headmates. (Yes, spirits can have their own headmates. Being multiple is not just a human thing.) 

Birth control

Astral birth control exists. Please use it. 

No seriously, sometimes companions will find mates or have a one night stand. Ask how they feel about birth control. You don’t want to adopt a spirit and then find out that they’ve mated and now you’re not only responsible for one spirit, but all of their kids as well. Spirit midwives exist. Go ask them for birth control so that any babies that happen can at least be planned. Letting companions reproduce without caution is just downright irresponsible and often leads to neglect. 

Refernces

So you and your potential companion have made it this far! Now go ask for references. Talk to their community, visit where they come from. Does your sparkle rainbow dragon actually have a species named that, or is it just a bunch of regular dragonsand this one lied to be more impressive? Did they glamour themselves to look shinier? Are they actually a secret homophobe and their community knows it? Or is their community kind of racist? It’s okay to say no to a companion because you don’t want a homophobic/transphobic/racist companion. You can offer to teach them to be better, but you also don’t have to take on that responsibility. Put your investigator hat on. Talk to others who know them well and get other opinions and character references. 

Do it all again

You’ll then want to go back and interview them again. Have they been in a health treatment? How are they doing now? How have their answers changed? You’ll want to go back through and check on things again to see if things are still okay. 

Thoughtform vs Spirit

Honestly, it’s fine if some of your companions are thoughtforms. You’ll want to vet a thoughtform as thoroughly as you do any other spirit. But if you arent sure, it’s highly recommended that you learn how to tell the difference between thoughtform and spirit. It’s a difficult form of energy reading, but it does get easier with practice. Check the energy ties of the spirit. Not all bindings are bad, and not all energy ties are bad. But double and triple check them. You’ll want to make sure that you’re not projecting or someone hasn’t projected a thoughtform onto an already existing spirit. (Trust me, I’ve seen that happen and it isn’t pretty. The spirit underneath had been neglected since the thoughtform was having its needs met instead and was barely alive. Once the bindings on the thoughtform were undone, the thoughtform itself ceased to exist. Seriously. Check for things like this.) Learn to tell the difference between thoughtform and spirit. Thoughtforms can be fun companions, you’ll just want to know that they are a thoughtform. 

Social interactions

See how this potential companion works with your other companions. Are they socially adept? Do they get along well with others? Are there spirit types that they don’t get along with, and for waht reason? Does the spirit have personal social goals? Make sure that this potential companion can fit in with you/your family. 

But that sounds so intense!

Yes. It is. And it should be. Vetting needs to take place for at least three months. AT LEAST. And you need to do it consistently. If you’re not willing to do it that consistently every time, then maybe you should rethink your motives and if spirit companionship is right for you. You HAVE to be this thorough every time with every spirit who wants companionship. And frankly, this is the bare minimum. If you want to adopt from a spirit shop, check how long they vet their spirits. Honestly to me it’s almost a warning sign if lots of spirits are posted and adopted out quickly. Do they give you just a sentence or two about the spirit, or are there paragraphs of information about who this spirit is and where they come from and what they like? If the spirit you’ve adopted from a shop doesn’t have much more description than what’s already posted, the spirit hasn’t been vetted long enough and you’ll want to do this process yourself. Hell, vet the spirit shops themselves and see if you trust them. A good spirit shop is a lot more than just lots of “cool” or “new” spirits and a lot of popularity. Do they backtrack when they get criticism? Do they police their own behavior? Do they have an easily understood/accessible way to know their ethics? Do they vet on their own or do they rely on drugs or other spirits to vet potential companions? (If the answer is no to the previous question, then run. Stay away.)

If all this sounds like too much work for you, then take a step back. Review some of the basics of energy work. Practice your skills. Because seriously, a poorly vetted spirit can be downright dangerous if you’re not careful. Vetting is one of the most important aspects of spirit companionship, especially if you do shop work.