#like it's lowkey mentioned but it's definitely there
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taeyongdoyoung · 3 days ago
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poison
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summary: tasting the king's meals for poison is a great honour to be bestowed on you. but poison is not the only thing you're interested in tasting... paring: king!haechan x maid!reader genre: royalty!au, romance, drama, smut warnings: reader has anxiety, food-tasting, mentions of poison, hierarchical system, rich guy/poor girl trope, shitty ex jaemin (sorry boo 💞), evil uncle trope, threats, mentions of blood, insecurities, crying, pet names, lots of kissing, inexperienced reader, lowkey corruption kink, fingering, handjob, cum-eating, loss of virginity, unprotected sex author's note: the plot is loosely inspired by some historical kdramas and the folk of the air trilogy 🥰 also, there are some references to nct songs in bold bc it's me, duh word count: 4.8k
Your life as a maid in the royal palace is pretty boring. You wake up, you prepare meals in the kitchen, you wash clothes, you clean rooms, you sneak a piece of stale bread if you find any (if you're lucky even some cheese), you go to sleep, repeat. Every day is the same. No drama, no adventure, nothing out of the ordinary. You don't like it but it's all you can do so you can send some money to your poor family.
That is until on one random day you are summoned to the king's chambers immediately, the other maids saying it is of utmost importance. You are panicking. Did you do something wrong? You try to attend to your duties with all the care and attention to detail possible. Will you be scolded or worse, punished, for some mistake you cannot place? You try to calm your rapidly beating heart, as you enter the king's room.
Looking down nervously, you bow deeply, not able to think of anything else to say, rather than mumbling a weak "Your Majesty".
"Relax, I'm not going to kill you," king Haechan says in his signature deep voice.
His words do little to ease your mind and your hands are still shaking.
"I've been told by my most trusted counsellor that I have many enemies and cases of poisoned aristocrats have been increasing. So, after discussing it in great detail, he advised me to look for a food taster. Someone I could count on not to betray me," the king explains.
"With all due respect, Your Majesty, but w-why me?" you ask meekly.
"You know my counsellor Jaemin, don't you? I believe you two were once…intimate. He said you could definitely be trusted. And I trust him with my life, so…"
Your damn ex Jaemin…You can't tell if him recommending you to the king as a potential food taster is a compliment or a curse. After all, you could literally die from poison. But then again, what can you do? You can't exactly disobey the king's direct command. At the end of the day, he bestowed a great honour on you. Anyone else would be jumping with joy. Anyone else but you.
"Your Majesty, I'm not denying you, of course. It's just that…I'm the only source of income for my poor parents. I can't bear to think of them all on their own."
"You have my word. Should anything happen to you…your parents will be well taken care of," the king promises and there is so much compassion and sincerity in his voice, you have no choice but to believe him.
"Very well, then. I'll try all your meals before you," you vow solemnly.
"Splendid," the king claps his hands.
That is how your boring days at the royal palace come to an abrupt end. You try the first couple of meals anxiously and with little appetite. Your stomach hurts from nervousness and not because there is any poison in the food. As time goes by, the food-tasting process becomes second nature to you. Eventually, you convince yourself that the chances of actual poison are low and you begin to enjoy your daily interactions with the king.
"What do we have for lunch today, my sweetest treasure?" the king asks. You like how he addresses you. As if you are genuinely important to him. As if it would pain him if he lost you. It's a kind gesture to distract you from the reality of how replacable you are.
"Your favourite, Your Majesty. Kimchi jjigae," you respond politely.
"Yesss, it's gonna be a great day!" the king squeals happily like a little boy.
It is an unwelcome reminder of how young he actually is. Unwelcome because you cannot imagine how difficult it must be for him. Enemies lurking at every corner, having all this power and responsibilities…and no one to share them with.
After you try the kimchi jjigae and check its safety, the king begins eating excitedly.
"You know that not all poisons kick in immediately, right?" you know it's rude to interrupt him but you cannot help yourself. "There is still a chance that we both get poisoned but the symptoms appear later."
"I know, but…" the king sighs, his mouth still full. Once he finishes chewing, he finishes his sentence. "It's still a precaution. At least Jaemin seems to think so."
You roll your eyes at the mention of your ex.
"Did you not end things on good terms?" the king is curious.
"We just…had lots of differences. Jaemin, being from a higher social class, said that I was just a way to pass the time. That he didn't see any future for us…That he would never marry me."
"Ouch," the king keeps chewing his favourite food. "I mean, it's technically true you belong to different worlds, but he could have said it more nicely."
"Do you trust his judgement? I'm not talking about relationships. Just…on the topic of poisons and stuff," you need to know.
"I suppose. We've known each other for so long, it'd be silly not to trust him."
"May I make a suggestion?" you inquire. "I know I'm not as qualified as Jaemin, but it's still worth taking other people's opinions into consideration."
"Sure," the king shrugs. "What did you have in mind?"
"If there are so many cases of aristocrats being poisoned, why don't you try taking a little poison each day to build an immunity? I've heard this method is quite common in other kingdoms."
"Where did you learn that?" the king asks you suspiciously.
"I read it in a book somewhere."
"You can read? No offense."
"None taken. When I'm done with my maid duties, I sneak into the royal library sometimes. Don't tell the king," you joke.
"Your secret's safe with me," the king laughs.
Time passes in the same old way. Cleaning, cooking and food-tasting. Repeat. One evening, the king summons you again.
You are about to take a bite from the food before him when he unexpectedly grabs your wrist and stops you.
"I don't want you to do that anymore," he murmurs.
"What?"
"I've started taking a little poison each day to build an immunity, like you advised me to. So far, I've been doing alright. And…I just think it's unfair, alright? What if you actually die?" the king whispers, as if the thought is so unbearable to him he can't even say it. "I can't lose you. I…trust you too much."
He trusts you? The thought is so bizarre in a flattering way your heart hurts upon hearing his sincerity.
"Are you planning to find another food-taster, then?" the very question is painful to you. Despite the potential danger, you don't want to be replaced. You want to keep being his person.
The king shakes his head.
"No life is worth more than mine. I'm not doing that outdated thing anymore."
"Of course, your life is worth the most! You are the king!" you exclaim passionately, pulling the food towards you.
"You think I don't know that?" he whisper-shouts, taking the food once again. "You think I don't wake up each morning wishing things were different?"
What…what is he on about? Why would he wish he wasn't the king?
"I'm not sure I follow," you say quietly.
"It's fine. I don't understand myself. Just…don't tell anyone, okay? Not even Jaemin. Let everyone believe you're still tasting my food and come at the allotted times as usual."
The not even Jaemin part shocks you. Does he no longer trust him as he once did? What is going on?!
"As you wish, Your Majesty," you respond, not even thinking of disobeying him. As confusing as everything is, you need him to trust you. More than you've needed anything else in your life.
"Oh and…one more thing. You should call me Haechan. When we're alone, that is."
"Uhm, okay. Haechan?"
"Yes, sweetheart?" he tilts his head cutely.
"Nothing, just trying it out," you chuckle.
Haechan laughs warmly and starts eating calmly.
"I can't tell if you're brave or reckless," you tease him.
"Perhaps both," he shrugs.
One Monday, your worst fear comes true. As you are preparing Haechan's meal, you are faced with his uncle. You've never been a fan of him for some unknown reason, but now you know your suspicions were completely justified.
"Give me the meal," he orders and you are so terrified, you do as he asks.
He pulls a vial out of his pocket and pours it on top of the food nonchalantly, mixing it well with a spoon, so that it doesn't show.
"Say a word to the king and you parents are dead," he threatens.
"What do you know about my parents?" you ask boldly. Foolishly, even.
After Haechan's uncle says the names of your parents and the exact location of their home, you realize he isn't bluffing. What are you going to do?
As you enter Haechan's chambers, you realize you can't do it.
"Ooh, this looks delicious," Haechan is about to put the food into his mouth when you rudely push the spoon away from him, spilling the food all over the ground.
"It's super cold and totally unappetizing," you exclaim the first thing that comes to mind.
Haechan eyes you weirdly but doesn't scold you.
"Have this, instead," you pull a sweet pastry from your pocket, knowing it's safe.
Haechan shrugs, not caring about what he's given.
"So yummy," he smiles happily, not suspecting a thing.
If you tell him, your parents are dead. If you don't, he's dead. Sooner or later.
When his evil uncle questions you later, you lie through your teeth that the king wasn't hungry and tossed the food away in an angry fit. Miraculously, his uncle believes that.
Similar things happen throughout the week. On Tuesday, you eat the food meant for Haechan yourself, hoping that the self-poisoning you've been doing in secret with the help of your apothecary friend Renjun will be plenty of protection and that you'll survive this extra dose of poison. On Wednesday, you explain to Haechan that the food was made with old ingredients and give him a piece of bread and some cheese you've set aside. On Thursday, you once again make a mess and spill the meal, pretending it was a clumsy accident. On Friday, you tell Haechan that you saw a cockroach in the food. Very far-fetched but it somehow works?! On Saturday, you go as far as lying to Haechan that you were so hungry you ate his food in the corridor.
Not once does he question you or get angry. His evil uncle, however, is becoming more and more agitated.
On Sunday, the uncle has had enough of your failed attempts to poison the king. And he shows you something that makes your blood run cold.
Two chopped-off fingers that he claims belong to your parents.
"If you fail again, it'll be their entire hands next time. And then, their heads. Choose wisely," he threatens cruelly.
You seem to be at an impasse.
As you are once more left alone with Haechan, you debate what to do. You are running out of ideas. Haechan's spoon is approaching his mouth eagerly. After all, he's been eating nothing but bread and random snacks all week. Your mind goes blank. If he eats that, he'll surely die. If he doesn't, your parents might die. It's an impossible situation. But you are greedy. Greedy to save both his life and your parents'.
"Stop," you cry out.
Haechan's hand freezes mid-air. It's now or never.
"I have betrayed you, Your Majesty, please kill me," you drop to your knees desperately.
"I told you to call me Haechan," he rolls his eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Your uncle has been trying to kill you," you blurt out. "He's been putting poison in your meals for the past week. I kept trying to come up with ridiculous reasons to prevent you from eating it but…he's been threatening my parents. Today he showed me two chopped-off fingers and said the next time I fail to poison you, it'll be their hands and the final time, their heads, but…I can't do this."
"Can't do what?" Haechan asks you to clarify.
"I can't poison you," you admit, eyes filled with tears. Even though your parents' lives are in grave danger, losing Haechan would hurt just as much.
"Could have just said that from the beginning instead of feeding me bread for a week," Haechan teases.
"You believe me?" you inquire nervously. Only now does the gravity of the situation strike you. What if he'd chosen to side with his uncle and executed you for treason?
"Jaemin's been warning me about my uncle plotting against me for a while now. I thought it was just his paranoia, but…I'm inclined to believe you and Jaemin."
"Over your own flesh and blood?" you are pleasantly surprised.
"Blood doesn't necessarily make you family," Haechan shrugs. "Okay, here's the plan. We'll sneak out of the palace and go find your parents. We'll make sure they go somewhere my uncle won't be able to find them."
You nod numbly, amazed at how quick he's thinking and finding a way out of this situation.
"Then, we'll return to the palace and make my uncle regret ever trying to mess with us."
"Us?" you repeat.
"Yeah, us," Haechan confirms. "We're in this together, no?"
"Hell yeah!" you reply, infected by his enthusiasm to find a solution.
Once you dress up with cloaks and daggers, Haechan leads you through a secret tunnel hidden behind the royal library that takes you both out of the palace.
"Don't tell anyone about this," Haechan whispers in your ear, his hand on your lower back, making you gasp for air.
"Who am I gonna tell? The king?" you joke to distract him from how affected you are by his gentle touch.
"Yeah, he should never know about this," Haechan chuckles in the dark and kisses you on the lips, taking you by surprise. You…he…what?!
You wrap your arms around his neck, desperate for the way he grounds you and makes you believe it will all be alright, you'll find a way out of this mess. Together.
He is the one to initiate the kiss but sadly, he is also the one to end it as abruptly as it started.
"As much as I'm enjoying the taste of your lips, we have to get to your parents and make sure they're okay."
"Right, right," you agree. He's more concerned about your parents than you, which speaks volumes about his noble character.
You resist the urge to swoon and try to focus on the task at hand.
Once you get to your parents' place, you are happily amazed to find all their fingers intact! That bastard was bluffing!~But the question remains…whose fingers were that?!
"You'll have to go to another town," you explain impatiently. "Haechan has some trusted friends who'll take you in."
"H-haechan?" your mom repeats in shock upon hearing you call the king by his first name.
"Uhh," you look to Haechan nervously for a way to explain. You know he told you to only call him that when it's the two of you but it just slipped so naturally…
"It's okay," he reassures you. "Your daughter has saved my life on multiple occasions. Making sure you two are fine is the least I could do."
"You are too kind, Your Majesty," your dad is even more stunned by Haechan's gentle demeanour.
"Just returning the favour. Your daughter's irreplaceable."
Oh. You wonder if he truly believes that or is simply trying to ease your parents' worries.
Soon enough, you parents are travelling to Haechan's friends and you and the king are riding back to the palace.
Immediately, he summons a court meeting and gives the order for his uncle to be brought to justice in front of all the aristocrats. His uncle is struggling to escape the guards' arms and screaming treason. But Jaemin's and your account of the uncle's actions are enough to convince the people of the truth. Eventually, other aristocrats start speaking up of suspicious things Haechan's uncle has done or said like threatening them or their family in an attempt to take the throne. In no time, the uncle is imprisoned.
"You should have just killed him," Jaemin tells Haechan quietly. "He would have done the same to you."
"I do things differently," Haechan replies. "If you were king, you'd understand."
Jaemin shrugs.
"Lucky for me, I'll never know what that's like."
Haechan rolls his eyes, trusting that his friend has no such ambitions and is happy with his life as a counsellor.
Even with the threat of Haechan's uncle behind bars, he still continues to take little doses of poison to build an immunity. You don't tell him but you do the same, carrying on with food-tasting his meals before him. You value your life, sure. But you value his more.
One random Tuesday, Haechan summons you to his chambers. But the hour does not indicate food-bringing activities. Just like the first time, you are overwhelmed by a strange sense of anxiety. Even though you've known him for so long and have been through so much together, it still unnerves you, being alone with him. You don't know if things would be different if he weren't king. Perhaps not. There is just something about Haechan that makes your knees tremble in the best way possible.
"You've asked to see me, Your Majesty?" you mumble.
"When will you get rid of that annoying habit? It's just me…Haechan," he reminds you needlessly.
"I know, but you're still the king."
"That sounds so detached," Haechan groans. "But I'm hoping what I have to say will convince you to only call my name. Not just when we're alone."
"What are you saying?" you're beyond confused.
"Marry me. Become the queen of my kingdom," he pleads, taking your hand in his.
"But…you can't," you whisper in shock, reminded of how adamant Jaemin was. And if the distance between your place in society and Jaemin's was big…then, the distance between your and Haechan's worlds seems far more insurmountable.
"I can," Haechan looks more determined than anything to do this.
"People will talk…They won't be happy."
"Fuck people," Haechan scoffs. "Will you have me or not?"
"Of course, I will, Haechan," you cry out. "You've shown me more kindness and understanding than anyone in my life."
"You do know I'll give you anything you desire?" Haechan speaks softly. "As long as you're by my side, as you have been so far."
"You do know I don't want anything, right? Even if you weren't king, I'd choose you in any universe."
"Are you serious?" Haechan smiles in disbelief, the idea so foreign to him.
"Of course I am," you insist. "Even if you were a poor bard singing in taverns."
"Hm. I do love singing," Haechan smirks and kisses you.
And gods, his lips are sweeter than any meal you've tasted and every poison you've consumed. You could never get enough.
Your wedding day finally arrives. Shockingly, people are more accepting of your union than you anticipated, because they take your food-taster position in consideration and how valiantly you exposed Haechan's evil uncle. Your parents, as well, are happy to see you and Haechan together.
However, there is one person who is against.
"Is that why you broke up with me? Aiming high, I see," Jaemin snickers rudely once you are out of Haechan's sight for a brief moment at the wedding afterparty.
"I broke up with you because you said I was just a way to pass the time and you see no future for us. If you think I'm with Haechan because of his crown, you're even more foolish than I thought," you scoff.
"Oh, really?" Jaemin raises his eyebrows. "So, you're saying if Haechan lost his title as king, you'd still be with him?"
"Yes, I would. But the fact you're even talking about that can be considered treason by some."
"You know I'm loyal to Haechan. But do you honestly think you're good enough for him? You could never satisfy him. He'll grow tired of you, you'll see. You're so fucking…cold," Jaemin hisses.
His words sting more than when he implied you were with Haechan because of his power. It is true that you are not experienced. Even though you were with Jaemin for a while, you two never…went all the way. You were perhaps far too romantic but you wanted to save it for your wedding night.
"Well, lucky for you, you'll never get to feel how warm I can be," you say with a self-assured smile. "Now, piss off and let me enjoy my wedding."
Jaemin rolls his eyes and seemingly has nothing else to say, leaving you alone.
Why did he have to say all that stuff? You know it's not entirely true, but it still sucks. Jaemin was the one who ended what you two had with his cruel words. It's just that you were the only one brave enough to finally call it quits. And you're glad you did. He may be bitter now but he'll eventually find someone better suited for his character. As for you…you were perfectly happy with Haechan. And you wouldn't let Jaemin ruin your special day.
Eventually, the guests started leaving one by one and it was time for your wedding night. To say you are nervous would be an understatement. Your hands are shaking more badly than the first time you were summoned to Haechan's chambers. You are aware that he's a good person who will treat you right…but he's still your king and that fact is intimidating enough to make you tremble with anticipation.
"Good evening, my lovely wife," Haechan enters your (gods, this is insane) now shared room.
Your mind completely blanks and you have no idea what to say. So, you just start crying.
Haechan immediately rushes to you, embracing you and kneeling next to you.
"What's wrong? What did I do?"
"N-nothing," you manage. "It's not your f-fault."
"What is it?" he asks again. "Did Jaemin say anything?"
"How did you know?" you blink furiously to clear your vision from the tears.
"He's not over you yet, is he? It's obvious from the way he looks at you. And me. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's still as objective as he can be when giving me advice, but…he sometimes stares at me as if I stole his dinner. Not that you're dinner. You're obviously much more important than that and uh…I really should stop talking, shouldn't I?"
You laugh, pleasantly distracted by his ramblings.
"You're good. And he did say some stuff implying I was a gold digger, but…frankly, I don't care about his opinion."
"I'm gonna kill him," Haechan gets up but you are quick enough to grab his wrist.
"No, please, stay. Let him think what he wishes. I only care about what your opinion of me."
"Darling, I am perfectly confident you did not marry me because of my title."
"I know. I'm not talking about that. I mean…I'm just nervous I won't be able to please you. I've never done this before," you explain nervously.
"You and Jaemin never…?" Haechan waves his hand in the air meaningfully.
"I wanted to wait till my wedding night. So, um, here we are, I guess."
"Oh, my angel," Haechan places a hand on your cheek. "You don't have to worry about that. Just, relax, and let me take care of you."
"No, no. Teach me. I'll do anything you say, just…guide me, please?" you plead him, looking up at him, your eyes still moist with tears.
"Okay," Haechan agrees easily. "Take off your clothes."
You gulp anxiously and start unbuttoning your wedding dress. Why is it so hard? Why are there so many freaking buttons?
"Gods, you're trembling," Haechan points out the obvious and his impatience takes over. He removes your hands from your dress and finishes the remaining buttons himself. You are grateful for his help, but you still feel like a total failure for not being able to complete one simple task.
"I'm s-sorry," you pout.
"Don't apologize," Haechan shakes his head. "Can I touch you?"
You nod and he caresses you with his pretty fingers. It feels so sticky and weird but…weird good. Definitely good.
"You're so cute, you know that?"
"N-no, stop," you disagree, chuckling.
"Stop what? Stop doing this?" Haechan teases you but continues his motions, because he sees how much you're enjoying it.
"Stop calling me cute," you elaborate.
"You're so not cute," Haechan obliges jokingly. "That was a lie, by the way."
You laugh again, not just because of his words, but because the things he's doing with his hands make you feel so amazing you can't hold it in.
"You like that, my pretty wife? You like being touched by your husband?" Haechan talks you through it.
"Yes! So much! You have no idea!" you scream as you fall apart under him.
"I think I do," he smirks proudly and lets you ride it out. Then, he takes his fingers out…and licks them clean. Your eyes widen in shock. You've never imagined such a sight possible. The king of the country just did…THAT to you. And against all reason, you're still breathing.
"Show me how to do this to you," you beg, wanting to make him feel as good as you.
"It won't be the same," Haechan giggles. "But I'll give the best of me."
He takes off his clothes hurriedly, extremely excited to teach you everything he knows. You are amazed to see him in his full glory. His golden skin radiates in the dimlit room.
"You look incredible," you gasp.
Haechan tilts his head to the side, his cheeks turning red.
"May I touch you?" you ask reverently, still in awe of his sun-like beauty.
"We're married. Of course you can," Haechan reminds you sweetly and guides your hand, showing you all the way he likes to be touched, telling you what feels good and what doesn't (though everything you do feels good for him but he won't tell you just yet).
You do your best to follow his instructions and soon enough become bold enough to start experimenting yourself. He is enjoying it judging by the expressions on his heavenly pretty face.
"You're so hard. Isn't it uncomfortable?" you inquire, genuinely curious.
"It kinda is. But it's also a good thing. It means I'm really into you."
"The way when you touch me and I'm drippin' and it's kinda strange but also feels nice?" you try to explain the logic in your own terms.
"Exactly that way. You're a quick study," Haechan praises you.
"I just have a very good teacher," you compliment him in return and kiss him deeply, your hand still stroking him.
Soon enough, his release comes and you marvel at how much of it there is. You gather some of it with your finger and lick it, just like he had done with you.
"Fuck. You don't have to do that," Haechan moans.
"But you did it? Isn't it okay?" you blink innocently.
"It's not that it isn't okay. Just saying, you don't have to. I bet it tastes weird."
"No, it's not weird," you shake your head adamantly. "I mean, it's you, so I think it tastes sweet."
"Better than poison?" Haechan teases.
"Definitely better," you agree without thinking.
"I know you've been tasting my meals even when I told you to stop," Haechan blurts out all of a sudden.
"You knew?" you whisper in shock.
"I felt so bad but I didn't mention it because I knew no matter what I said, you'd keep doing it."
"You thought correctly," you sigh. "But you don't have to feel bad. I'm also taking little doses of poison each day, so I'll be fine. We'll both be fine, I'll make sure of it."
Haechan kisses you again, gripping your hair firmly, but gently at the same time.
"Remind me again what did I do to deserve you?"
"Did the Sun ever do anything but shine to make the Earth revolve around it?" you smile fondly.
"You're saying I'm your Sun?" Haechan presses his forehead against yours.
"Provided I'm your Earth," you respond.
"Well, did you know the fate of the Earth is to be consumed by the Sun?" Haechan informs you with a sweet voice but sombre expression.
"Consume me, then," you gladly consent and he slides inside of you all too smoothly.
Earth and Sun, moving together as one. Two entirely different worlds and yet…you belong with each other.
"You're too sweet for me," you murmur, chasing his lips once more.
"You've had too much poison your taste buds are off," Haechan jests.
"Maybe so," you grin. "I should probably drink more of you as an antidote."
"I'm counting on it, my beloved wife."
The End
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mead-iocre · 2 days ago
Note
https://x.com/ocarattinii/status/1872268014135234989?s=46&t=ZlLK7ZQfB1vY6Jj94ICPRg
brat!r sends alexia this saying she wants one
omgggg cutie
alexia actually brought up the topic of having kids early on. at first the thought of kids scared brat!reader (mind you she's a lot younger than alexia so having the topic brought so early on in their relationship lowkey terrifed her because she wasn't thinking that far ahead. but alexia is. she's a lot older and to her, asking these questions early on in the relationship manages expectations and saves heartbreak in the long-run.
nowadays, it's not so scary. it's actually something to look forward to. whereas before, brat!reader would blank out at the mere mention of kids, but now she's got a secret list of baby names in her phone (alexia doesn't even know about it)
brat!reader would definitely swoon every time she sees alexia interacting with kids. eventhough she knows its still early to think about having kids, she knows she wants them with alexia.
brat!reader would definitely send like this to alexia like: we'd make cute kids
alexia: of course we would. what do you want for dinner?
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blackynsupremacy · 3 days ago
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BEING THUGNIFICENT’S
NERDY GIRLFRIEND
HEADCANONS
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pairing: thugnificent/otis jenkins x black!fem!reader
fandom: the boondocks (2005-2014)
summary: thugnificent wouldn’t be the type to easily settle down with anyone, but through your relationship, you shifted his perspective on many things.
contains: based on this request, fluff, comedy, swearing, use of the n-word, romance.
• if one could paint an image of the phrase “opposites attract”, best believe that you and thug would be the inspiration and the vision.
• thug was outgoing, flirtatious, confident, sometimes narcissistic and obnoxious, but he was real when it came it down to it. he had no shame about anything.
• no shame about his upbringing, no shame about his music, and definitely no shame about his personal life.
• he was the typical famous star that had surplus money and women flocking around. it was a fling here and a fling there.
• never a true, committed relationship.
• that all changed when he moved to woodcrest and met you.
• everyone greeted him with open arms—well, almost everyone.
• you were different from the rest of the women he met.
• you were cordial and polite, but a bit reserved. you didn’t really talk to him unless you had to.
• you heard his song “eff grandad” and you found it to be so funny.
• you didn’t throw yourself at thug and that had him piqued.
• he tried to get to know you by inviting you to a party at his mansion, but you suggested a different place. it wasn’t his style for a woman to tell him what to do.
• instead, you invited him to your favorite arcade and pizza spot across town.
• it was lowkey, so that no paparazzi would flash him.
• when it comes to any type of video games, you were competitive.
• “ahh, shit! you tryna make sure a nigga lose, huh? i got something for yo’ ass.” he’d tease as you competed in mortal kombat, maneuvering the controls to unleash an impressive power move.
• “hell, yeah! watch this.”
• you get your lick back when you pull a fatality on that man.
• he was shocked!
• you were talking all kinds of shit—which he found to be sexy. he thought you were just this shy homebody, but there’s a bad ass bitch in there.
• at that moment, thug had to lock you down.
• one time you were helping him out with his hair and you wanted to watch inuyasha while you did so.
• thug tried to ask questions, but you shushed him, so you could focus.
• he didn’t really understand it, so he just watched and it all clicked.
• “hold up, hold up! you tryna tell me that dog ass nigga is really a playa’? this man really wanted an alive and dead bitch. that’s some freaky shit. i respect it though—ow!”
• you thwacked his face with a comb at that statement.
• you introduced him to naruto.
• “so if that little blonde nigga become the hokage? is he gonna get all the hoes in his village?”
• dragon ball z is definitely his favorite. it’s a staple for him.
• he also likes sailor moon, but he sure as hell won’t tell you that.
• sometimes, you both binge watch, he’d invite the lethal interjection crew over to watch, or he’d do it alone.
• depending on the show, he prefers sub over dub.
• he loves to hear you spew facts and theories. he even has his own.
• sometimes you’d have debates on certain characters. ya’ll once had an argument on who could kick the most ass between superman and batman.
• got him so heated he literally made an unreleased diss track about superman.
• he spoils you with merchandise! if you even mention interest in a character, show, game, or comic, he’s going to buy stuff that’s related to it.
• hell, he even gets stuff for himself.
• he gets jealous when you simp over your fictional crushes.
• it cracks you up because you reassure him there’s no competition, it’s all for fun.
• “thuggie, don’t act like that. stop acting like you weren’t tripping over storm from x-men.”
• you clocked that tea really quick.
• he finds it sexy when you cosplay his fictional crushes.
• “hell yeah, baby! turn around for thugnificent, goddamn!”
• you like to spend quiet time with him by reading a manga or comic.
• it calms him when you guys watch studio ghibli movies.
• your best vacation spots are london, japan, universal studios, and disney world.
• you would randomly quote lines or make references, he’d just go along with it.
• he’d make references in his bars while in the studio.
• you’d be the first to listen and he’d respectfully ask for your feedback only, no one else’s!
• overall, he loves you and digs your overall vibe.
• you’re his nerd and he’s your thug.
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verycoolusername1 · 10 hours ago
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You Laugh Exactly The Same
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Summary: Everyone is back home for the holidays. It feels nothing has changed(if you take away the years)
Platonic!hughes brothers x reader, one mention of Nico Hischier x reader(jokingly) and mention of Quinn hughes x reader(once again a joke)
Bonus Track of the fruitcake masterlist - Holidays
A/N: My first platonic fic, how we feeling?? And why is this song lowkey kinda sad
Also, I didn't know how to end it, so sorry if the endings weird!!!
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You were an honorary sibling in the hughes household. You practically grew up with them. They were your chosen family.
You shut your car door, suitcase in hand. As you smiled at the sight in front of you. The lake house, you've been coming here since your college days. Time flies when you're having fun it seems.
You were about to open the door when it opened for you, Luke, on the other side with the biggest grin on his face.
"Y/N's here!" He called out to his family before capturing you in a bone crushing hug.
Jack ran to the door, Quinn following behind.
"Dude, get off. You're crushing them." Jack tried to pull Luke off of you.
"Both of you are gonna crush them if you keep acting like that." Quinn smiled at the scene in front of him.
"Quinn's right. Off both of you." Ellen ordered.
Their arms were off you instantly at her words. You chuckled slightly.
"Barely got through the door, and you're already trying to kill me." You grinned as you moved towards your room.
The boys minus Quinn(for the moment) went after you.
"Are you two just gonna follow me around like a lost puppy the whole time?" You asked, turning around.
"We missed you in Jersey. Quinn got you all to himself this season." Luke grumbled.
"I was only there for work." You rolled your eyes.
"Well, it still doesn't make me feel better." Jack groaned as he flopped on the bed.
"Yeah, like, who knows what you could have done together!" Luke's face scrunched up in disgust. "Actually, don't think about that... ew."
"I'm choosing to ignore that because we're all friends here, and well, you know... Quinn's not my type." You put your clothes in the closet.
"Thank god!" Luke sighed.
Jack immediately perked up. "That's not true! Remember when we were fourteen and your baby crush on him?"
Your face flushed in embarrassment. "That was a long time ago!"
"Seems like the baby crush didn't go away." Luke mumbles.
"Alright, both of you, out right now." You dismissed them.
Jack and Luke laughed at your reaction before leaving the room, proud with themselves.
You continue to get settled in, satisfied with the progress.
"I thought I told you guys to leave me alone." You said, not bothering to look up.
Quinn chuckled. "You haven't told me anything at all, actually."
"Shit, sorry." You apologized. "Thought you were Jack and Luke."
Quinn leaned on the wall in amusement. "Well, I'm sure whatever they did can be redeemed."
You laughed at his words. "Yeah, I'm sure they'll just gladly accept doing everything for me the whole break."
"Well, I'd be glad to do that." Quinn immediately responds in a mumble.
You looked at him. "What did you say?"
"Oh uh nothing just you know gonna be lots of work for that." Quinn lied. "Maybe try the next best thing?"
"Oo hmm definitely letting me hookup with their captain, kinda hot don't you think?" You asked.
Quinn rolled his eyes. "Well, I'm not into guys, so I can't give you an exact opinion, but... he looks nice for his age. I don't know."
"You guys are literally the same age!" You chuckled.
Quinn chuckled alongside you. "Yeah, yeah, whatever... Are you coming down for the bonfire tonight or going to bed early?"
"Wouldn't miss seeing Jack getting caught on fire for the world." You yawned slightly as you nodded your head.
Quinn grinned at your words as he held out his hand for you to take. You did, of course.
The two of you went downstairs to the porch where Jack and Luke sat, Jim and Ellen leaving early with promises to come back early tomorrow.
"There you two are, we were dying out here." Jack exaggerates.
Luke nods in agreement. "You left us unsupervised!"
You shook your head as you sat down. "You both are adults and are or past 21."
"Let's be real. You and Quinn are the adults here." Luke said, Jack heavily agreeing.
Quinn merely shrugged. "It's the older sibling in us."
"You're only a couple months older than me, Y/n, not much to go off of." Jack nudged you.
You nudged him back. "I still think it's quite far."
Jack rolled his eyes as Luke and Quinn laughed at the interaction.
"Honestly, I'm surprised you two kept the fire alive." Quinn spoke up.
You chuckled slightly. "It's uh, you know, a survival instinct. Jack knows a lot about that."
Jack groaned. "That was one time!"
You burst out laughing at his words. "Probably the best day of my life."
Luke chuckled slightly before his eyes widened.
"We should make smores." Luke says. Quinn hummed in agreement.
It was moments like this with the boys that you loved the most, seeing them not having a care in the world and just enjoying themselves... even if it's at your own expense but nonetheless you loved them.
Many more laughs and smores were shared throughout the night, and you wouldn't have it any other way.
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mochiajclayne · 5 months ago
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Can't stop giggling on the headcanon of Bartolomeo and Cavendish arguing about Law being a potential partner for Luffy. Bartolomeo is against the idea solely on the premise that he can't stand Trafalgar's guts but Cavendish reiterates that Law is hopelessly whipped with the way he's willing to die with Luffy if the inevitable happened way back in Dressrosa. The entire Straw Hat Grand Fleet is so done with them. LMAO.
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intricate-ritualz · 23 days ago
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i love how CONLANA is the one deh ship that has been explicitly confirmed as canon to a deh actor. in published writing too! good for them, good for them
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yan-short-for-bryan · 1 month ago
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[concept] ayano trying to “matchmake” (arrest) mida rana
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Ayano: Trust me, this will benefit all of us. Akademi gets one less predator and we get known for ‘bringing justice’.
Ayano: All you have to do is ask her for extra tutoring after school, and hide this audio recorder in your bag.
Toga: Right…
Ayano: …
Ayano: I’ve also seen her getting a bit too personal with some of the underclassmen…
Toga: Huh?
Ayano: Hazu didn’t look too comfortable with her putting her hands all over his face…
Toga: You mean…
Toga: Dammit. Fine, ill do it..
Ayano: Really?
Toga: Really. You should’ve mentioned that you’ve actually witnessed her doing something sooner, you know?
Ayano: Mhm..
Ayano: We’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll tell you the details after class.
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anachronistic-falsehood · 28 days ago
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i wanna write a book like i have all the fucking characters figured out and everything but i always feel. so fucking awkward writing about original characters. so i wanna write it in a weird way but i don't think literally anyone would like it at all ever. like i kinda wanna write it as like a fake dnd game transcript bc that would be fun to write but literally who would even. read it. head in hands
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buggbuzz · 1 year ago
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my gender is like meat leaf i think. boy materials in the structure of girl. like im a girl made out of boy things but not in a transman way like i like being female im just. a girl-leaning boygirl. maybe??
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#u dont understand ive been insisting to all of my friends for like 6 years that im NOT a trans man#i cannot be proven wrong at this point i'll lose it#and anyways im not actually a guy#im definitely a girl just like. a type of girl that scientists haven't discovered yet#and that sounds like a joke but im soooo fucking serious#im a fucking student geneticist dude#i think theres some autosomal gene (or probably multiple) that regulate gender in convoluted ways#probably linked and i think there's probably multiple types of fem and masc genders not to mention non fem OR masc genders#codominant? incomplete dominance? is it different on different scales?#its a completely possible and furthermore plausible concept like from my perspective it'd be really weird if gender genetics weren't a thing#i think theyve already lowkey been proven to be a thing cause of that paper comparing trans brains to cis brains#& finding a link where trans men had a certain section that was the same as cis men#and that same section in trans women was the same in cis women#its an OLD study too#anyways i want to research this one day but i also dont because i dont trust humanity with that information#but if i found proof that it exists maybe it could seriously back trans people with scientific evidence#not that they should fucking NEED it testimony should be fucking good enough#ive been bio obsessed since i was born and im a natural skeptic#but when i was 11 i asked a trans person i knew like 2 fucking questions and they answered me and i was like 'yeah this makes sense'#figured anything that didnt make sense was just something i didnt understand yet#and now that im older and in college level biology and genetics classes i know i was right#it would be really really weird if trans people didnt exist did you know that? all the kinds too like nb genderfluid agender genderq demi#i dont fucking care it makes SENSE#'nonbinary' was a good term to adopt because it really just fits perfectly#nothing in biology is ever ever ever truly binary especially not a neurological and psychological phenomenon#especially not in a species with a brain so overly complex and tangled up like HOMO SAPIENS??#are you kidding?? the fact that we even have a concept of art and music let alone have talents and passions for them is proof alone dude#that shit doesn't help us survive its a modified version of pattern recognition and uncanny valley#combine that shit with the fact that intersex people exist?? like#nonbinary gender is literally the combination of intersexuality and human neurology
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guinevereslancelot · 5 days ago
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starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....
#i planned to try to find something small enough that i could easily carry around concealed then take it out if he got something for me#but the thing i got ened up being a bit too big for that lol#im gonna bring a big bag of gifts for all my friends maybe and then it won't be weird idk#by some miracle my mom showed me a bag of emergency gifts for the girlies and i was like cool im taking all of them tonight 😂#which was not what she intended lol#but im gonna do it#if i had time i would have gotten him something different but its good enough#he mentioned a book he hadn't read last night so would have been cool the got him that but its too late its a music hat now#if he even got me anything idk#but he specifically told me he was last minute christmas shopping so idk#i am over analyzing this for sure tho#anyway most unrealistic part of christmas romance movies is they're not anxious wondering whether to gift or not to gift#also im lowkey scared abt new years 😳#not that i wouldn't like to kiss him probably but i already have a hard time looking at him without blushing 😂#so that would make it 10000x worse lmao#also idk if i want to kiss him JUST bc its new years instead of waiting for the right moment to just happen? idk i dont wanna rush things#its not for sure we'll be together at midnight on new years idk what his plans are#but we'll see#anyway things are going well but moving faster than expected 😅#also not 100% sure i'm seeing him tonight and def not tomorrow so that might take the gift pressure off but idk#waiting to hear back abt tonight#😐😐😐#also idk why we waited until we were both on break from work to do stuff bc honestly every time we've met it's been after work hours anyway#however it allows us to stay up later than on work nights which is nice#he didn't leave my house until after 11 last night lol#anyway trying hard not to get swept up in all this while its new but fr im like oh this is what it's supposed to feel like 🥺#never been in love before every relationship i've had was awk and forced was starting to think maybe im just not capable of love#but literally cuddling on the couch watching it's a wonderful life last night i was like hm i'm definitely capable of love actually#not saying im actually there yet but it would be soooo easy to fall for this guy which is p scary actually#esp bc im not sure it would work for other reasons
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creativity-deficient · 5 months ago
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Soooo what are y’all’s hcs on the Tweak family 🤔🤔🤔
#lowkey I like to hc it as a generational trauma type of thing for Mr Tweak#I feel like Richard was a LOT like Tweek when he was little#very anxious and unsure of himself#he mentions in the gnomes episode I believe that his business has been going on 30 years#and was passed down to him by his father by his father before him#growing up I think that he too was given a lot of this coffee by his father#and over the years he was conditioned and manipulated into accepting this as the norm#in hopes that he would one day take over the business#when he was finally old enough his father shared the family recipe with him and at that point he had pretty much been brainwashed#I think he sees a lot of his younger self in tweek which is why he’s so condescending towards him and so determined to steer him down the#same path. Repeating the cycle and all that#and when Tweek is old enough he plans on sharing the family’s secret as his father did with him#MRS Tweak on the other hand is an interesting one#we know so little about her but I feel like her personality also says a lot about her#she’s definitely better than Mr Tweak but she’s still very complacent and neglectful#I think what stands out to me the most about her though is the way her personality can completely switch up at times#most of the time she has this eerily calm almost docile personality#but other times she’s a LOT more attentive and caring#yk like a normal mom#COMPLETELY different from how she usually acts#but the episode that gets me the most is “Gnomes#where she actively goes against Richard’s attempt to manipulate the kids and use them for business ventures#yet this is the same mom that actively poisons her son? presumably for the business??#like it doesn’t make sense to me#I’ve seen someone suggest that Richard has been drugging her too#and BOY would that be a twist#definitely would explain the sudden shift in personality#i definitely think it would be interesting if she was in the dark about a lot of this too#not using this as an excuse as I still do think she is SOMEWHAT negligent on her own but I do think it could explain some things#south park
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radioisntdead · 5 months ago
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Accidentally stumbled onto the dark side of Tumblr again, DEAR GRACE SOME FOLKS NEED INTENSE THERAPY, or need to stop doing drugs, maybe both, my eyes, my poor, poor eyes, I need a holy water and bleach combo
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Also I should watch gravity falls again
#I also stumbled upon the extremely delulu side by accident#no idea if its ragebait or what but someone was just like EXTREMELY AGAINST ALASTOR IN ANY SHIP#which is valid you have your own opinion I respect that BUT THEY LITERALLY SAID ITS BECAUSE ALASTOR HIMSELF TOLD THEM?#Alastor is a fictional character and HE BETTER STAY THAT WAY#reminded me of those creepypasta kids who would pretend that Slenderman was real and be edgy#I was friends with one of those#they were... not the healthiest friendship like I'm not super traumatized by them but they definitely left a mark#took me like two years to not jump at the mention of their name#it's like 5 am for me rn I gotta get up in a couple to babysit children which is fitting because todays fic is a daycare au fic thats very#wholesome and I'm having fun writing it IT HEALS THE SCARS#i want corn bread again#my mom makes this really good cheddar cheese cornbread and it's tasty#she also makes like this honey one which is just corn bread with honey drizzled on it and popped into the air fryer#I'm also lowkey craving this casserole I made once with corn bread#I forgot what it's called but it had ground beef+ taco seasoning mixed with like vegetables and a TON of cheese and#it's just so TASTY i love it#like my all time favorite casserole#speaking of casseroles i can't wait for thanksgiving to roll around#I'm allergic to rice but theres this cheese rice and broccoli casserole that gets made#I sometimes sneak a bite#I'm not like deathly allergic I just break out in hives like with tomatoes#OO PLUS THANKSGIVIN' TURKEY my dad makes like a GREAT gravy to go with it#I look forward to it every year#and I'm from the south so we also have sweet potatoes mashed potatoes with marshmallows and cinnamon roasted on the top#and depending if my moms side is visiting we GET PUERTO RICAN FOOD#my mom makes the best food ever#i remember I had macaroons and me and moony were sneakily eating them in the kitchen because they were just for us#and my younger cousin walked in like “Ph macaroons! i want one” and I#without missing a beat just told him “Sure but their pumpkin spice flavored” and he left#it wasn't pumpkin spice it was mango I jsut didn't want to share with him Because the macarons were a reward I need to sleep now goodbye
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the-kneesbees · 7 months ago
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uggh I'm gonna cry
#i lowkey miss when i had no friends 😭#i got invited to my friends birthday party and i really really didnt want to go#cause theres like 10 other people going and i vaguely know 2 of them#and theyre all kinda mean#like in the way your friends are mean where its clearly a joke#but im not friends with any of them-#qnd like in any other circumstance it would be fine#but its a POOL party#and there was no chace i was putting on a bathing suit and swimming#but i also was not ready to deal with being the weirdo who doesnt swim at a pool party#like i was really dreading this party#so i made some lame excuse#which is technically true#my brother DID break q bone today and my parents ARE being dramatic and i AM gonna have to wait on him#but thats not q good reason not to go#i was just really freaking out about this party#and its prob not a big deal and she definitely doesn't care as much as i think#but i feel so bad for being flaky#plus i already feel like a couple people there dont like me#so if my friend mentions why i didnt go theyre gonna think its a dumb excuse#i should have made something up but i had already said yes cause i couldnt think of anything#and then my parents wrre at the hospital for a really long time so i didnt know what exactly was happening#and i did genuinely think when i texted her that it was more serious and there would be no chance they could take me#qlso they both have stuff to do tomorrow (party day)#and i am actually gonna end up being the one helping him get water and stuff#but it just feels like such a lame excuse#idk#its just when im with these people (the ones going that im not friends with)#i constantly feel like i hace something to prove or theyll think im weird#and its so stressful
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nobodybetterlookatme · 1 month ago
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How's it going with your coworker??!!
I'm still so fucking soft and that's really all I've got for today lmao
#not snz#i did the whole 'feel how cold my hands are' thing and it fucking worked like??#but my hands are actual legit always fucking freezing so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#BUT i held his hand half the time and fuck i didn’t know people's hand could feel that nice#like once again I'm touch starved to the point i hardly know how to give a proper hug bc i almost never give/receive them#so anything would probably feel good lmao#but like his hands are so warm and they're not at all soft but they are super gentle?? idk it's weird#i might’ve thought a little too hard about it hskaksk we're gonna have to move on lmao#mainly we just talked a lot as always and he was an asshole but he's also so sweet???? like it's crazy#OH and there was one point he like put his arm on the seat behind me so it wasn’t quite around me but it was a little bit#like please why do i want that so bad lmao normally I'm afraid of people doing anything like that to me#hugged him before we left too and 😩#the way i wanna hold him and pet his hair so bad is wild lmao like i just cannot stop being pathetic#like i fr need to stop thinking about it ahskaksksl that's my coworker#and i was talking to the other girlies while we were walking back to our cars and gossiping and catching up#and i mentioned hanging out with my partner to which they were both like 👀 and i had to convince them that it wasn't a date lmao#but they both agreed with me that it can't be a date if nobody says it's a date so it was still Not A Date#yay for women LMAO#However they did say it didn't sound quite platonic either so they're still 👀 ahskamksla#and they've been joking about me and this guy for a hot minute now so they're double 👀 lmao#the other medic always said he's got a soft spot for me and that just kinda makes me 🥰 ya know#but also why do i lowkey feel sick about the thought of him actually being into me lmao like is thay normal#maybe sick isn't the right word but i feel something and it's not exactly pleasant but it's definitely not bad#maybe it's just the cramps LMAO idk#anyway i just feel kinda weird but it's not a bad weird so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#again it's not like this is ever gonna go anywhere so i don't think i need to try too hard to figure it out lmao#anyway I'm cold and tired and wanna go to bed now lmao i can barely keep my eyes open to make this post#idk how coherent this is gonna be so I'm just gonna hope for the best lmao#partner posting
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bandsanitizer · 3 months ago
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arolesbianism · 4 months ago
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I need to make a new pmd story right now or I'll explode
#rat rambles#someone I follow made some pmd ocs based on one of their pokerogue runs and Im just sitting here like why didnt I do that first fuck#I have three guys Ive been using in literally every run (because theyre my only tier 3 shinies lol) and I wanna make them ocs sooo bad#I might end up doing it but I mostly am just unsure because Id have to make some tough decisions when it comes to their designs#mainly if I stick closer to the actual colors used for the shinies or make my own pallets for them#on the one hand I Do like the colors used for them but on the other hand I wouldn't actually want this story to be too pokerogue inspired#so like Id feel bad using the pokerogue shinies for a story that ultimately has little to nothing to do with it#second biggest issue is that one of them is a golurk and god I dont wanna draw that#also one of them is a pyukumuku and thats fine by me but it does necessitate some creativity#the other two are an eevee and leavanny#although Id definitely have the eevee evolve into flareon since my best runs with him were when he was one#now tbf those also happened to be the runs I got multilense on him (one of them I got two on him) and he was able to stunlock anything#slower than him to death with bites and steal all their items with covet#Im so glad they switched eevee's passive to pick up it makes my life so much easier#simple wasnt Terrible but it was hard to use well since most of its evolutions arent strong or defensive enough to utilize it well#tbf I didnt try very hard since leavanny is my default sweeper and he learns sword dance#but eevee does make for good support early on at least even if it takes good rng for it to hold up well late game#tbf leavanny should also be in that camp but its simply built different (gets sharpness as a passive)#golurk is the real one that falls off hard tho unfortunately#which sucks because it's terrible early game and good for like five seconds mid game and then mostly terrible late game#I say mostly because god does my boy hard carry me through the final boss every time#generally a decently built leavanny with stone axe can cleave through 90% of the game but bestie gets hard countered by the final boss#I will say tho that Ive enjoyed using pyukymuku Way more than I thought I would its lowkey highkey saved my ass more time than I can count#its soooo important in pokerogue to have a stalling pokemon because youre inevitably going to need one#oh yeah I forgot to mention that eevee isnt one of the tier three shinies but my boy is the lesser of two evils amongs my tier two shinies#the other is goldeen. which I have also used in a huge chunk of my runs. it was the second shiny I got.#that guy tormented me so bad I was sitting here having to convince myself that the seaking carry was real#every now and then I get to use a better water type and I feel a surge of emotion as I remember what it feels like to use a good water type#and then I sigh and go back to seaking since I need my luck score maxxed out and I dont have space for my other tier two shines because#theyre both 5 costs
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