#like it's better than nothing but it's not the bible some people seems to think it is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gureumz · 1 year ago

Text

stained glass windows

rating: explicit

member: jungwon

notes: fem!reader, stepcest, dubcon, religious corruption, baby trapping (?), unholy use of scripture (sorry god), dom!jungwon, slight angst, mentions of death, step brother!jungwon, breeding, fingering, dirty talk, unprotected sex, jay has a cameo appearance lol

a/n: so this is an amalgamation of everything everyone requested for jungwon,,,reciting bible verses during sex? i got you. stepcest? no problem. baby trapping (this is 100% what i want and yes my wish is my command)? you bet. religious corruption? hell yeah. something super filthy and kinky? say no more. enjoy, hoes! love ya mwa (the bible verse here is 1 Corinthians 10:13 if you were curious)

sundays are your happy days.

a pretty dress, the stained glass windows, hushed chatter among the churchgoers—these were all the things you waited for at the end of the week.

your mother had always been proud of how involved you are in your faith, showering you with loving words before going to bed when you were little, calling you 'hers and God's favorite angel'. you'd smile and feel a sense of giddiness. God's favorite angel. can you believe it? you made sure to wear that as a badge of honor.

and then you grew up, went to a bigger school, met people who are different from you. even those who you knew were like you, devoted and obedient to their parents and God, seemed to have strayed down the path of parties, drinks, and the unthinkable. that is to say, premarital sex.

you never understood the appeal of it all. your faith and God were enough. you didn't need to participate in such acts to feel anything. you felt Him in every waking moment.

until there came a time when you were convinced He was gone altogether.

until sundays stopped becoming your happy days. every single day was void of any happiness.

your father passed suddenly, leaving you and your mother to fend for yourselves. you watched your mother grieve, grieved on your own, alone in your room. you went to school and saw the excitement in your peers' eyes, talking about a party here and buying drinks there.

you nearly caved. anything to take your mind off your dad.

but this was when your mother spent nearly every day at the church, despite it being mostly empty every day other than sundays. without anything better to do, you tagged along. and you started to feel Him again.

you knew God returned for real when your mother became friendly with a newcomer at church. a businessman who recently moved to your town, towing his son along.

mr. yang, as you later learned. he had a son.

jungwon.

jungwon wore an easy smile, deep dimples appearing every time he did. he shook your hand with a hesitant grip, palms smooth and soft. he had eyes that seemed to sparkle.

seasons changed, months grew into years, and your mother and mr. yang got married.

you saw the life return to your mother's face, easing her shoulders back, smoothing out the creases in her weathered face.

sundays became your happy days again, now that mr. yang and jungwon were in your lives.

---

jungwon is the poster child for the perfect sibling. or, at least that's what you think.

it's been a couple of years since your parents' wedding, and jungwon was nothing short of accommodating. he was kind, always letting you have first picks at whatever food your parents prepared, and offered to do things for you.

granted, it wasn't always like this. the two of you skirted around each other the first few weeks, both former only children, suddenly dealt with the fact that they had a sibling exactly their age. there was even a period of time when jungwon would bolt at the sight of you. though, you tried to not take this to heart.

but after all has been said and done, the two of you fell into a routine, becoming friends of some sort. eternal housemates.

"hurry up. this will be the second week we're late because you couldn't decide what dress to wear."

you turn, spotting jungwon poking his head through the door.

"sorry," you reply bashfully. "these people don't see me on weekdays anymore since i'm off at campus, so you can't really blame me for wanting to make an entrance on the one day they do see me."

jungwon quirks an eyebrow.

"since when did you care what they think?" jungwon questions, stepping fully into your room. he's wearing a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and crisp black pants.

you note that the watch he has on today makes him look particularly handsome.

you merely shrug. "i don't know. everyone at college dresses so nice and i thought i'd make an effort, too."

jungwon snorts. "everyone at college is a try-hard. it's a small-town liberal arts institution."

"hey, you're a student there, too," you point out, crossing your arms at jungwon.

you watch as he surveys your outfit, eyes slowly making your way down your body. you swallow, suddenly aware of how tight the yellow sundress feels. the fabric seems to dig at your armpits uncomfortably, and the hem is too short and—

"you look good," jungwon says, eyes meeting yours.

you breathe a sigh of relief.

"well, if you say so. i trust your word," you say, smoothing down your skirt.

you feel jungwon approach, circling an arm around your waist, ushering you towards the door.

"i am your brother. i think i'd know what would look good on you," jungwon points out with a wink.

---

the service goes by without a hitch. you participated as you always did, offered your prayers as you usually do. you thanked Him for another successful week of classes but also asking for you to ace your upcoming exams. it was all routine.

until your mother pulled you along, chirping excitedly about a new family that had moved to town and joined the church.

the parks.

a father, a mother, and their son who's a business major at some big-shot university a few towns over.

"i'm jay," the son said to you, reaching his hand towards you as his family introduced themselves to yours. you shook hands and you couldn't help the sudden heat that flooded your face and chest.

your hand still tingles with where he held on, even now on the car ride home

"that jay boy sure is cute," your mother says from the passenger seat. you turn to her, eyebrows raised.

"seems like he has a good head on his shoulders," your stepfather agrees. he looks at you through the rearview mirror.

"the kind of guy girls wanna marry."

you see your mother twist in her seat to give you a knowing look. you roll your eyes but the familiar warmth takes over your entire body again.

"i mean, i don't know. we just met him and his family," you point out, trying not to stutter. you turn to jungwon for backup but your brother has his back turned to you, his face angled toward the window.

"right, jungwon?" you try nonetheless.

"huh?" comes his clueless response. he looks at you and his face is crumpled in a frown. you're taken slightly aback.

before you can say anything, your mother speaks up.

"why don't you try and befriend him, jungwon? they said they only live on the next street over," your mother offers, unaware at how deep jungwon's frown has gotten in the seconds she said that sentence.

"i don't know," jungwon mumbles. "i can try, i guess."

you watch as jungwon turns back to the window, his hand balling into a fist on his lap. you decide not to pry, leaning your own head against the window beside you, watching the little houses in your neighborhood speed by.

---

you urge yourself to stop picking at your fingernails. but you can't help it, either. standing outside your brother's door, you're not sure what awaits you on the other side.

taking a deep breath, you decide to just get it over with. you're certain it's nothing. you're just concerned and you want to see how jungwon's doing.

you knock softly three times, waiting to hear jungwon's voice. after a few seconds, you hear a muffled, 'come in!'.

you push the door open a bit, taking a peek inside jungwon's room. he's sprawled on his bed, his phone in his hands as he scrolls through his screen. his eyes shift to you and he sits up.

"what's up?" jungwon asks as you let yourself in. you don't say anything until you're seated beside him on his bed.

"i didn't want to risk your wrath, so i wasn't sure if i should bring this up with you...," you begin, teeth worrying your lower lip.

jungwon raises a brow. "i don't know what you're talking about. but other than that, you know i can never get upset with you, right?"

you continue to bite down on your lip, unsure of what to say next.

"but you were upset today," you say after a few seconds. "in the car?"

jungwon's face morphs into mild recognition. he nods, finally understanding what you mean.

"oh, that," jungwon deadpans. "it's nothing."

"come on, you can tell me anything, remember?" you urge, pulling your legs up on jungwon's bed before crossing them. jungwon glances down as you do so but quickly averts his eyes back to your face.

"it's nothing, i swear. it's stupid and thinking back on it, it just seems like such a dumb thing to be mad about," jungwon explains, shifting closer to you.

you take his hand and you squeeze as jungwon threads his fingers through the gaps between yours.

your mother often remarked how the two of you seemed more like twins than regular siblings. mirror images of each other. the perfect balance. looking at jungwon now, you see what she meant.

"nothing you say would be stupid to me," you reply, voice soft as your thumb runs over the skin of jungwon's hand.

something flashes across jungwon's face and his eyes seem to trail over every part of you. your skin prickles as he stops right at your chest, pajama top showing the very tops of your breasts.

"i didn't like the way that jay guy was looking at you," jungwon finally admits, gaze returning to your face.

you look at jungwon quizzically. "what? how was he looking at me?"

"like he was undressing you with his eyes," jungwon complains. "he was practically flirting with you."

you laugh incredulously. "no, he wasn't. he said two words to me, wonie."

jungwon shakes his head. "i'm a man, too. i know how our brains and eyes work."

you stop for a second to ponder on jungwon's words. you can't deny the intensity of how jay seemed to be looking at you earlier and the way he held your hand so tight.

"so?" you retaliate. "he's cute. i don't mind."

you see jungwon's jaw clench, the muscles spasming under his skin. his lips press into a thin line and he pulls his hand back from your grasp.

"guys like that will only take advantage of you, _______," jungwon says, voice slow and deliberate.

your forehead creases. "how are you so sure?"

jungwon stares at you for a few moments. he reaches his hand out, cupping one side of your face in his palm. you gulp, your heart jumping at the contact.

"i just know. you trust me, right? i'm your brother, after all."

you nod.

your hand comes up to cover his that's on your face and the room seems to still. the steady hum of the ac fades away, the cicadas outside vanish, and the thumping of your own heart amplifies. jungwon is looking you square in the eye and you can't help but cower under his gaze.

just as jungwon makes a move to lean closer, a loud knock and your mother's voice rips the moment away.

"dinner's ready! come eat!"

jungwon pulls his hand back and you scramble off his bed. you hurriedly cross the room, flinging jungwon's bedroom door open and stepping out, not sparing another glance behind you.

---

you toss and turn that night.

your face still tingles from where jungwon touched you. your mind is reeling with so many thoughts, your imagination seemingly going into each and every unexplored direction.

you and jungwon grew close during the years you spent together since your parents got married. it was like becoming friends. you had to learn things about each other, know what makes the other tick. the two of you never shied away from showing who you truly are. you'd be living under the same roof for the most part, so what's the point in hiding, right?

and jungwon never hid his affection for you. brotherly hugs, encouraging pats on the back, kisses on your forehead. he told yu over and over again how happy he was that you were his sister. that you were the best sister.

and you never hid how much you needed jungwon, either. he taught you how to get home on the bus from college on the weekends. he helped you with any handiwork you required in your room. he gave you the ins and outs of the college cliques and clubs.

jungwon always told you he loves you. you always reached out to jungwon. neither was a secret.

so, what's making you so nervous?

before you can answer yourself, you hear the hinges of your door squeak as it opens. in the dim light of your room, you see a figure step through the doorway, startling you slightly.

"sorry, it's me," jungwon whispers. "i couldn't sleep."

you feel your heart quicken once more as you sit up, watching jungwon make his way to your bed. he plops down on the mattress and looks at you.

"mind if i crash here for a while?" jungwon asks quietly.

jungwon does this on some nights, reasoning the bouts of insomnia as he snuggles up to your side. half of the time he talks, telling you stories of what he did during the day, and the other half he spends holding you to his chest, fingers drawing patterns on your back.

on rare occasions, he asks you to turn away, pressing your back to his front. he sometimes rocks against you gently and whispers how much he loves you in your ear. you feel strange when he does this. but you never complain.

"sure," you reply, scooting to one side of the bed. jungwon moves to lay beside you, pulling the covers over him.

wordlessly, his hands find your hips, tugging you close. you let him, your own arms circling around jungwon's torso. he's warm and smells like fresh laundry. you don't hide the way you inhale his scent.

you stay like that for a few minutes and you almost think that jungwon has fallen asleep. but after a while, he pulls back slightly to look at you.

you meet his eyes, sharp shadows cast across jungwon's face from your night lamp situated on the other side of your room.

"stay away from jay," jungwon says. your mouth falls open in mild surprise.

"why?" you ask. jungwon sighs, cradling your face once more in his hand.

"he doesn't deserve you," jungwon responds, voice hardened with something you can't quite put your finger on.

jungwon's looking down at you and even in the darkened state of your room, you can see the seriousness in his expression. he's clearly still upset from earlier.

"but mom and dad seem to like him," you reason with a pout. jungwon lets out a 'tsk' grasping your face tighter.

you let out a whimper. jungwon was never this heavy-handed with you.

"but i don't like him," jungwon insists. "you need someone who knows you, who can do things for you, who loves you more than anything."

jungwon pushes you onto your back, his leg swinging over to plant his knee on your other side. he grabs at your wrists and presses them down, trapping you as he hovers over you, his face inches away from yours.

"you need me."

you gasp, unable to comprehend the words that had just left jungwon's mouth. you're given no time to work it out in your head because jungwon is kissing you, pressing his lips to yours. you protest, pushing against jungwon but he's too strong for you to fight back properly. he has you pinned down and there's nothing you can do.

"w-what are you doing?" you say as jungwon pulls away for a second. instead of answering, jungwon busies himself with your neck, nipping at your sensitive skin. you squirm and whine but jungwon doesn't let up.

"i love you," jungwon whispers in your ear.

you shiver.

"you love me, too, right?" jungwon questions as he looks at you. you blink away tears that have gathered in your eyes.

you're just so confused. what is he doing? what is happening?

"answer me, angel," jungwon urges gently. he leans down to kiss away at the tears streaming down the side of your face.

"i do," you return weakly.

"no no," jungwon tuts. "say it properly."

you sniffle as you feel more tears fill your eyes.

"i love you."

jungwon seems satisfied because he kisses you again, tongue running over the seam of your lips. you've never kissed anyone before and it feels so foreign, having jungwon's tongue licking into your mouth. but you follow what he does, parting your lips and moving your tongue with his.

jungwon groans, one of his hands letting go of your wrist to grab at your waist instead. he presses you to him and you feel something stiff against your thigh.

"you make me so hard, angel," jungwon groans. he grinds against your leg and you watch as his expression crumples into pleasure.

"t-this is wrong," you sob. "we're not supposed to do this."

and you do feel conflicted with it all. everything you've learned in church, everything you've read through His word, it all says that this is bad. that you should only lay with the man you love, the man you married.

oh, but you do love jungwon. you've loved him since the day you met him.

"do you want to stop?" jungwon asks, stilling above you. you continue to cry, your legs squeezing together as you feel wet heat pool in your underwear.

"God will forgive us, angel girl," jungwon coos, a hand dipping beneath your pajama top.

you mewl as you feel jungwon squeeze at one of your boobs.

"He knows how much we love each other, so he'll forgive us, don't you worry," jungwon reassures as he rolls your nipple between his fingers.

"then we'll make it up to Him with a cute little wedding at a faraway chapel," jungwon continues, his other hand tugging down your shorts and underwear.

you're breathing heavily now, head spinning as your whole body heats up. the ache between your legs grows stronger.

"then we'll have babies," jungwon says. "so many babies we'll be filling up our own pew at church."

you gasp as you feel jungwon's fingers press against your core, working on the nub that you've ever really encountered twice or thrice before, too scared to be condemned to hell if you continued to touch yourself.

"what if we have a baby now, huh?" jungwon asks, placing a chaste kiss to your temple. "make you a mommy so no one can take you from me."

you shake your head, initially appalled at his words, but the thought of carrying jungwon's child, it stirs something in you.

"no?" jungwon asks, voice hinting with playfulness. "you don't want it?"

you look up at jungwon, struggling to find the words to say. you want it but your conscience screams at you to refuse.

"i want it," you finally answer. "want to give you a baby."

"fuck," jungwon curses as the words leave your mouth. he hurriedly discards his shorts, eyes seemingly ablaze.

"yeah? gonna give your brother a baby?" jungwon taunts, fingers circling at your core again. you moan wantonly, a million different feelings coursing through your body.

jungwon pokes in one finger through your entrance and you nearly scream, unprepared for the strange sensation.

"sshhh," jungwon says, pressing down on your mouth with one hand. he adds a second finger in slowly and your back arches off the bed.

"look at you," jungwon says with a grin. "your body responds so well to me, huh, angel?"

you cry into jungwon's palm as you feel him pump his fingers in and out of you, curling them inside every time he pushes in. you feel a tightness in your belly and more wetness pooling out of you. your body jolts with every movement of jungwon's fingers.

"shit, i can't take this anymore," jungwon mutters, pulling his fingers out. you whine, hips involuntarily pushing up as they search for friction.

"i got you," jungwon says, taking his hand off your face. the room is filled with your soft sobs, a mix of the lingering guilt and the newfound pleasure.

jungwon strokes his shaft a few times and you watch with bated breath as he aligns himself between your legs. you feel him push against you and you start to cry even harder, fear of what's to come gripping you like no other.

jungwon pushes halfway in and any scream threatening to break free from your lips is muted by jungwon pressing his mouth to yours. you cry and cry and cry as jungwon keeps pushing in, burying himself to the hilt seconds later.

he stills, pulling away to let you breathe. you hiccup, the stretch between your legs equal parts painful and filling in the best way possible.

"s-so big," you sob. "c-can feel you in my belly."

jungwon groans, his hip snapping up involuntarily. you whine, biting down hard on your lip.

"yeah? can you feel me here?" jungwon asks, a large hand pressing down on your lower abdomen. he starts to move then, slowly pulling out then thrusting back in.

"yes!" you gasp. "yes, yes, it's so deep."

"God, angel, you sound so beautiful when you're being fucked," jungwon says, speeding up.

"recite to me your favorite bible verse," jungwon commands. you barely hear him with the way he's moving his hips against yours.

"w-what?" you mumble in a daze.

jungwon takes hold of your face, forcing you to look directly at him.

"your favorite bible verse, angel girl. let me hear your pretty voice."

you rack your brain for it. you should know it by heart, have it seared into your consciousness. but the way jungwon is taking you right at this moment wipes away nearly all thoughts of scripture.

"no temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man," you begin, trying to keep your voice steady as jungwon scrutinizes you, fingers still digging into your cheeks.

"God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability," you continue. jungwon smirks, nodding, urging you to go on.

you're about to speak when you feel jungwon's thumb press down on your sensitive nub. you cry out, the added sensation muddling your brain even further.

"go on," jungwon orders.

"b-but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to e-ndure it," you finish with a shaky breath.

"good job, angel," jungwon says, letting go of your face and leaning in to kiss you briefly on your forehead.

your head falls back against your pillow, your vision blurring as all you can feel is jungwon moving in and out of you. all you can think of is jungwon. all you ever need, right at this moment, is jungwon.

your brother. the man you love. the man you want to have all your babies with.

"so tight, so fucking tight," jungwon babbles, pushing your legs up so he can get a better angle. your lower half rises off the bed and jungwon fucks into you even harder, snapping his hips against your insides with a force that has you gripping onto your sheets for dear life.

jungwon continues on like this, sweat dripping down his forehead. any pain is gone now, replaced with a want, a need for some sort of release.

you don't know what compels you to talk, but you can't help the next words that come out of your mouth.

"p-please, jungwon. feels so good. w-wanna be a mommy, want it so bad. n-need it!"

jungwon seems to let himself go then, hips moving erratically, not caring if you're bent nearly in half, his grip on your thighs painful as his fingernails poke at your skin. it feels good, you think, your insides clenching and tingling at the sight of jungwon getting nearly animalistic with you.

it almost fills you with joy. knowing that he's only ever like this with you.

a few moments later, jungwon's hips start to stutter.

"gonna give you my babies, angel girl. i'm so close, so close to making you a mommy—fuck!"

the words from jungwon stop any coherent thought in your brain as a sort of euphoria takes over you, your whole body tightening up. jungwon completely stills, pressing himself in deeper. a warm feeling spreads from where he's sheathed inside you.

the two of you remain unmoving, panting as your minds catch up with your bodies. jungwon pulls out moments later, replacing his cock with his fingers. you protest weakly as jungwon moves his fingers shallowly in and out of you.

"i came so much, angel," jungwon says with a chuckle. he pulls his fingers out and shows you his fingers, coated with his milky white release.

"your belly's gonna be all swollen up in nine months, for sure," jungwon muses, pushing his fingers against your mouth. you part your lips hesitantly, licking at the saltiness.

"good girl," jungwon praises, pulling his hand away before kissing you sweetly.

"i love you," jungwon mumbles against your lips.

you hold his face steady, thumbs rubbing at his cheeks. you meld your lips together, the elation finally catching up to you.

there are no stained glass windows in your room, your body bare and void of pretty dresses, and the night is still and quiet.

it's still sunday. it's still your happy day.

"i love you, too," you say as you and jungwon share a smile.

#enhypen smut #enhypen scenarios #jungwon smut #jungwon scenarios #w: jungwon

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worldofkuro · 8 months ago

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Painted Smile

Painted Smile XXVII

<- Previous Chapter I Next Chapter ->

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: I won't lie, I'm proud of this chapter, it's better than the last one which I'm not completly satisfied with. I hope you will enjoy this chapter.

You gasped as your soul came back inside your body. You couldn’t help but feel fear sipping through your body, making you stand up quickly. You felt like something was coming toward you, at a racing speed.

You looked at your shadow which was frowning, staring at the entrance, her form being bigger and bigger, her growing presence overwhelming all the room. Your breathing was getting quicker and quicker, what was going on?

You tried to talk with Legba but you were too panicked to be able to summon a tangible link. You rushed into the kitchen as you felt another presence watching you. You took a knife and waited with your shadow at your side. It was snarling and growling, staying protectively near you.

You flinched when your shadow rushed toward something, making you freeze. You waited, your grip on the blade showing no sign of weakness. You waited before seeing your shadow coming back with its usual hideous smile. You tilted your eyes, you couldn’t feel the presence… What you could feel was…

“ Alastor?”

You went into the living room where Alastor’s shadow was looking around, everywhere. It stopped when it saw you and rushed toward you, caging you in its embrace with his horrific smile. You patted its head with a relieved smile.

“ Good boy…” You watched as it beamed before it latched toward your own shadow and both of them began their usual banter. You sat on the sofa, calming your nerves. If Alastor’s shadow was here, it certainly meant he felt something like you did. But it also meant Alice and Alyzée were alone without protection…

You called the two shadows to you which both went toward you, waiting for your commands. You tilted your head, crossing your arms against your chest, your finger tapping against your arms.

“ I don’t think I can manage to send my own shadow so far away from me, so you need to go back to Alice and Alyzée.” you said, sighing when you saw Alastor’s shadow fuzzing with anger, his smile dropping into a snarl. It moved toward you and wrapped its hand around your ankle, smiling once more. You pouted, it seemed like Alastor had decided that his priority would be you.

You looked at your shadow which was tugging Alastor’s shadow’s hair. Maybe you could try to send your own shadow..

“ Do you think you can protect our friends ?” you asked, ignoring Alastor’s shadow frown. Your shadow smiled hideously at you, nodding eagerly. You sended her to your friend and as soon as your shadow was out of your property, you fell on the sofa, your eyes closed.

You couldn’t move. It was a strange feeling, it was like you were watching from someone else's eyes. Your own body couldn’t move, you needed to be so concentrated to keep your shadow moving to Alice’s position. How could Alastor manage to do his daily life when his shadow was always attached to Alyzée or you?

You felt the Alastor’s shadow squeezed your ankle, like an encouraging gesture. If you could have, you would have smiled at it. It was oddly cute, it seemed like a more twisted version of Alastor when he was younger.

You looked through your shadow’s eyes which were already at Alice’s side. Your friends were talking with a woman about God. You tried to see if the man who watched you was around but it seemed like he was gone. Well, you panicked for nothing…

You looked at the lady, she was kind of cute, holding a Bible against her chest, explaining something to your friends. It’s when you saw Alice and Alyzée’s uncomfortable face that you decided to listen to what the lady was saying.

“ We must fight those people who go against God’s will. Some women fancies other women, how disgusting.”

Ah.

Well, that wasn’t a pleasant conversation at all. You looked around, maybe you could make something happen so the unpleasant lady would back off from your friends. You looked through your shadow eyes, looking around.

You didn’t want Alice to support the lady’s yapping more than she already indulged. You saw a group of men, chatting on the other side of the road, one holding a dog by his leash, but the dog was staring in your direction. The dog was wagging his tail lazily, seeming to look in your directions.

Could animals see the spirits ?

You asked your shadow to move toward the dog, wanting to test your theory and you smiled when the dog barked at your shadow, his tail wagging energetically. That was interesting information… You looked toward Alice and Alyzée, going back toward them as the two women were looking at the dog who was making noises.

You giggled but then froze when you saw the lady looking at you, seeming paler than she was a minute ago. She jerked her head toward the dog, before trying to come back to her discussion with your friends. Did… Did she see your shadow ? You needed to find out if she could see you, then you would know how to act.

You forced your shadow to approach the lady who clenched her Bible harder against her chest. You could feel your shadow smiling down on the poor woman, in its usual horrific way. You smirked when you saw the woman looking at your shadow.

You got her, now what should you do? Follow her or stay with your friends in case something happens?

You turned around when you heard a panting noise coming from behind you. You turned around and saw Victor, catching his breath as he looked at Alice and Alyzée with a tired smile.

“ Hha… Alastor… told me to fetch you.” Victor said to your friend with a friendly smile.

Once again, your husband was just… perfect with his timing.

The lady ran away from your friends who seemed shocked. You demanded your shadow to follow the woman which it gladly did. As your shadow was following the woman, you felt your own body getting tired. How exhausting that exercise was! How could Alastor manage it? The woman ran for ten minutes before going inside a building. You watched as your shadow followed her, seeming to have much fun.

The shadow entered the building, which seemed to be abandoned. It looked around, once again, its childish curiosity making it hard not to find it cute. It looked at a dirtied doll before going after the woman. You didn’t know where she went but it shouldn’t be hard to find her.

You could only hear noise and see when you were inside your shadow, so you were a little confused when it moved toward a room with excitement. You looked inside and saw a.. was that a lamb? Your shadow moved toward it, touching the dead animal with morbid fascination. What was a lamb doing here..? The room was dark, you couldn’t see anything but the lamb in the middle of the room. There was so much blood…

“ We got you.”

Your shadow turned around, snarling as a man was standing in front of the entrance of the room.

Fuck.

You commanded your shadow to attack the man. You didn’t want to lose this time, and furthermore, this man gave you the same vibes as the stalker who attacked you last time. You needed to see his face.

The man avoided your shadow attacks with strange precision. You let your shadow play with him, letting him get away before trying to reach for him once more, keeping an evil smile on its face. You were trying to see the man's face, but because of the cloat he was wearing it was even more difficult with the darkness in this room.

Wait… Didn’t he say.. We got you..?

You felt your shadow snarl in pain when you heard a feminine voice chanting something. You squint your eyes, trying to see where the voice was coming from. You watched as your shadow tried to run away but it seemed like it was caged between an invisible shield. You looked around and saw with incomprehension something on the floor, around your shadow making it impossible for it to run away. Was that..Salt?

You looked up when the man lit a candle making you capable of seeing around you. The walls around you were gray but you could see blood dripping on it. You frowned as your shadow tried to make itself bigger, snarling at the man in front of it, banging against the shield.

“ Oh lord, you were right…”

The voice came behind the man and then you saw the woman you were after. Her Bible was opened and she was looking at your shadow with disgust and fear. You could feel anger swirling inside your belly, how dared she look at you that way?

“ Yes, I saw her thanks to the Lord. We need to get rid of it.”

What was going on…? You looked as the woman began to read her bible, chanting something you couldn’t understand. You looked as your shadow began to snarl in pain, its body bending in awkward shape, its hand trying to keep the noise from coming inside its ears.

You felt helpless, you couldn’t do anything but watch as your shadow seemed to be burned alive. You didn’t know why, but you felt foreign energy going inside of you, you knew you were upset and yet you didn’t feel any emotion. The man watched as your shadow was hissing in pain with a satisfied smile.

You stared at the salt keeping your shadow caged. You could.. make it go away. It seemed like your shadow was the only thing being affected by the chanting. You closed your eyes, trying so hard to raise your hand. You could feel your own body in your house, moving like you were doing right here. Come on… Just a little push…

You wanted to use your telekinesis on the book or the salt, to break the barrier. You inhaled before energy busted out of you, making the woman fall backward and send the salt away, breaking the shield. You shouted in your mind at your shadow to run, to go back home at your side right now.

The man tried to keep your shadow but it snarled with pure fury, clawing at the man’s face before rushing out of the building, running back home.

You opened your eyes with difficulty, you needed to see your shadow. Was it okay..? You sat up slowly, Alastor’s shadow trying to help you with a worried frown. You looked around you and frowned when you saw furniture on the ground. Did you use your power near your shadow but also here…? You patted the shadow’s head before jerking your head to the door, seeing your shadow coming home, cuddling its arms against itself.

Alastor’s shadow rushed toward yours, looking at what was wrong with your shadow. You walked toward them, crouching in front of them. Your shadow looked like half of its face had been taken off. You grimaced as your shadow kept a frown on its face, even with Alastor’s shadow trying to cheer it up.

“ Let me heal you…”

You yelped when both of the shadows snarled at you with anger. You blinked at their reaction.

“ What? You don’t want me to heal you?”

“ And they are right, my love.”

You turned your face toward the door and smiled at Alastor who was clearly irritated. He walked toward your shadow and looked at its injury. You didn’t need him to talk to know he wanted to know what was going on. You told him everything that happened, watching as his body tensed as you explained what happened in the abandoned building.

“ Mhn..We need answers. Kalfu, come here.”

“ Papa Legba, would you please join us?”

You watched as the two spirits were leaning comfortably against the wall. Kalfu was smirking, it seemed like he was enjoying himself. Legba was looking at you with his usual warm expression. You stood up with Alastor and everyone went into the kitchen.

“ I have questions. Would you betray us?” Alastor asked, drinking the coffee you made him.

“ Alastor!”

“ No offense taken, little lady.” Papa Legba said with a genuine smile. “ What is a betrayal for you? If you are asking if I will give others an access to the spiritual realm, as long as they give me a sacrifice, I will.” You looked as Alastor’s smile twitched.

You frowned at his answer.

“ Then, if I fight against someone who works with you… How are we going to deal with it? Would you tell our secret to them?”

“ Why would I do that? I will give access to a spirit they want to work with, nothing more.” Legba tilted his head, watching you calmly. “ If you were to fight with someone I helped, I won’t intervene, it is only your control over your powers that will help you.”

“ But I know my wife is your protégée, right?” Alastor asked with his usual smile. You watched as Legba looked at Alastor, staying silent for a moment. What was a protégée exactly..? You asked your husband who explained it to you. “ A protégée my dear, is when a Spirit is fond of a human who tries to reach for them. Like a mentor student relationship. The spirit decided to be more present, without needing to ask for a sacrifice each time they are called depending on the situation.”

You beamed at Papa Legba who was looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

“ Am I your protégée ?” you asked with a big smile. You didn’t know why but you saw Legba as your grandpa and knowing he was watching over you was comforting. The spirit smiled, sighing before patting your head.

“ I guess you are.”

You smiled at Alastor who smirked at you. You looked at Kalfu who was looking in your direction when he felt your gaze on him. He smirked at you still trying after all those years to make you scared. You weren’t afraid of Kalfu anymore but you knew he could be so scary sometimes, so you didn’t want to push your luck.

“ Is Kalfu’s protégée Alastor?” you asked curiously. You flinched when Kalfu roared with a mocking laughter.

“ Ooh, yes he is. But unlike your sweet relationship with Legba, I won’t run to save Alastor’s life. He can save his own, if not, why would I be there? I can help him in other ways, but don’t call me for sweet things like saving his life. Isn't that why you are here, little missy?”

You looked at Alastor who nodded, smirking mockingly at Kalfu. You rolled your eyes, smiling a little. They must talk about your healing abilities…Talking about healing… You turned your head toward the two shadows and felt sad.

Your shadow was still unmoving even with Alastor’s shadow moving around it, tugging its hair and waiting to see if it would react. It seemed to be more worried each time your shadow wasn’t giving it a proper reaction.

“ How could my shadow be hurted like this?”

You looked at the three men in front of you. Now, you needed to understand what happened in that building. Legba crossed his arms after smoking, his pipe fuming in a smoothing way.

“ Well, you saw it yourself , didn’t you?”

“ What do you mean?” you asked, making a cold chocolate for you.

“It was an offering, aren’t you not used to seeing them now?” Alastor asked, stroking your cheeks. “ From what you told me, the lamb was an offering.” He looked at Legba who nodded. “ Was it for you?”

“I’m more of a rooster man. This offering wasn’t for me.”

You frowned, looking at Kalfu who smirked at you before shaking his head. It wasn’t for him either.

“ Well, they did have a Bible with them, so I’m not surprised either…” you mumbled, drinking your cold chocolate.

“ We can work with christianity.” Legba said with a small smile. You tilted your head, curiously but he didn’t say anything more. You looked as your husband took your hand, stroking your skin, deep in thoughts. You looked at Legba with a sad smile.

“ Can .. Can you heal my shadow..?”

Legba turned his gaze toward your shadow, still being taken care of by Alastor’s shadow. He stood up and walked toward them, smiling as Alastor’s shadow kept yours against its. Legba touched your shadow, a red energy coming off him. You closed your eyes as the light was getting too strong for you to be able to see what was going on.

After a minute, you blinked your eyes and you smiled as your shadow was moving everywhere, clearing happy to be painless once more. Alastor’s shadow was staring at it before tugging its hair once more and smiled when it saw your shadow running after him in the house. You sighed, relieved.

You thanked Legba who asked for a rooster in exchange, which you accepted.

“ Then, is it possible for them to work with angels?”

All heads turned toward Alastor. Angels…? You never thought they existed but now, it could be a possibility… Could you compare Papa Legba to an angel? You didn't know how to compare their power… Well, Legba told you the power was held in the person who asked a spirit, so maybe… With a good plan you could take someone who was working with an angel..? How complicated.

“ It is highly possible, even more so if they had a Bible with them.”

“ Mhn, It’s not my favorite hypothesis.” Laughed Kalfu with a smirk, looking at you with a knowing smile. Alastor stared at his spirit, his smile never faltering. “ Now, I have other things to do, if you excuse me.”

You looked as Kalfu vanished from his chair in a dark mist. You looked at Legba who smiled at you, asking you not to forget his rooster before walking away, vanishing behind a wall. You waited a few seconds before looking at Alastor who was sighing, his eyes closed.

You walked toward him and kissed his cheek which made him look at you.

“ Ahh, darling, do you want me to die younger because of stress?” He said as he tugged you on his laps, his arms around your waist. You tilted your head as he kept talking. “ I sended Victor to take care of the girl so you would go back home, and yet… You went into the big bad wolf’s mouth, not even planning something. I taught you better than that, right?” He purred, his lips against your cheek.

You smiled at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder.

“ I’m sorry. I was… too excited I think.”

Alastor hummed against your skin as he watched both of your shadows playing with each other. You smiled fondly at the view.

“ Don’t you think they acted like us when we were younger?” you giggled as Alastor’s shadow poked yours on its cheek, making it snarl at it.

“ I think the same… But they are deadlier.” Alastor gave you a sinister smile which made you shiver. You kissed his lips, humming as he kissed you back. You pushed your body against his, singing in bliss when you felt his nails digging into your skin. You whispered against his lips.

“ You don’t feel sick anymore..?”

“ I was not sick dear, I was just… tired.” he kissed you back before you could answer back, making you chuckle against his lips. You knew that Alastor and you would find those who dared disturbed the peace you created for yourself.

It’s been so long since you felt another predator was in New Orleans. But you would win, like always.

—-

You were with Alice, at her home.

It’s been two months since you discovered your new ‘enemies’. You didn’t expect it to put so much mental charge in your mind. You could feel their eyes on you on the street and yet you couldn’t find them. Fortunately, they didn’t show up and didn’t attack you, or Alastor or anyone else. Alastor and you went into the abandoned building, multiple times to search through every floor and you didn't find anything. It felt like they cleaned everything before vanishing.

You’ve been making yourself sick over this. It felt like the danger could happen any time. You were sleeping less, you had nausea and you were getting emotional with the lack of sleep. Sometimes you could cry because Alastor came later than usual and you thought he had been killed by the couple you couldn’t find in this bloody town.

Alastor, seeing your state getting worse, demanded you to stop caring about this and that he would handle it himself, but you shouted at him that you would never let him go alone against two persons that had power which you didn’t know anything about.

You knew Alastor was getting more worried about you, you could see it in his eyes even when he was smiling like usual. Sometimes it was scaring yourself how you would lose yourself to your nerves. This was the most difficult thing you've ever done.

Killing Alastor’s father was your first, but it was easy, it happened one night and it was gone, just like all your victims. You would track them down and kill them with Alastor by your side. Now, it felt like you were the prey, but unlike your previous victims, you knew you were being hunted.

You sighed, it’s been going on for two months and you didn’t discover anything, the only thing news was that Baron Samedi was coming to check on you more often. You wondered if Alastor asked him to… Well, when you asked him, Baron Samedi just smiled at you with a knowing look so you guessed it was Alastor’s doing.

“ Fuck it, I’m calling a doctor.”

You turned your head toward Alice, who had a nice small bum which made you smile. She was now six weeks pregnant. Pregnancy looked good on her… Wait, what did she say?

“ No, no need. I’m just… tired.” you sighed, lying on the couch, closing your eyes.

“ You’ve been in this state for more than two weeks. I’m calling our best doctor, don’t move.” She stood up and called her butler.

You didn’t know when you fell asleep but you woke up with a gasp when you felt a touch on your shoulder. You sighed when you saw Alice who was beaming at you with a doctor next to her. You knew she wouldn’t give up, she didn’t know you were using your power most of the time to watch if the couple that attacked you was around…

Well, let’s just let Alice win this time.

You let the doctor examine you and smirked when he told you seemed very tired. You stared at Alice, with a ‘ I told you so’ gaze. She just snapped her fingers, demanding that you keep your focus on the doctor.

You felt cold around you and frowned when you saw Baron Samedi behind the doctor, staring at him with an amused smile. You tilted your head and gasped when the spirit went inside the doctor's body, making the man faint.

Alice gasped as she touched the man’s shoulder.

“ Mister,are you okay?”

The doctor, which you knew was possessed by Baron Samedi, smiled at her. You could see his eyes were different, you wondered if Alice could see it…

“ I’m doing great. I’m here to tell you what kind of sickness Mrs.Sanglar is having.”

You frowned, was he joking with you? What was he doing–?

“ You are pregnant.”

…

“ What?” Alice and you said in unison.

“ Congratulations, you must be around nine or ten weeks pregnant.” Baron Samedi smiled.

You screamed with Alice, both of you panicking. You stood up, placing your hands on your belly, screaming at Alice who was helding your hands with hers, screaming with you. You needed to calm down, you needed to calm down ! It could be a bad joke of Baron Samedi.

“ Wait, Alice we can’t panic at the same time!” You shouted, trying to calm yourself. You needed to… to calm yourself.

“ You are right. I’m going to panic first, then it’s your turn.” said Alice before screaming, moving around the living room.

You looked at Baron Samedi, still possessing the doctor’s body.

“ Are you joking? It is a nasty joke?” you asked, your voice shaking.

“ No, I promise. It explained your nausea, your emotional state, you didn’t get your period not because of stress but because you are pregnant.”

You sat on the couch, your whole body shaking from excitement, fear and happiness. You were pregnant..? You were going to have a baby..? Alastor and you were going to have a baby…? Oh my God..

You gasped when Alice touched your shoulder.

“ I finished panicking, it's your turn.”

You screamed in joy and pure fear once more. Alice hugged you, being mindful of her belly, her eyes getting teary. You didn't know why you began to sob, hugging her against you. You were pregnant… Oh God, oh God!

You needed to see Alastor right now!

You took you things, already asking for someone to take you to Alastor work. Then you stopped yourself, Alice bumping against your back.

“ No, maybe I should do a surprise for him? But will he see it coming ? What do I do ? What if he doesn’t want children, we never really talk about it? Oh, I need to tell Marie, and my mother, and my father! Oh and–” you stopped talking when Alice put her finger on your lips with a genuine smile.

“ Sweetie, deep breath…”

You closed your eyes and did as she told you, calming yourself. You bit your lips, oh lord, you were pregnant… You opened your eyes, feeling something you never felt in your life. There was a life that was beginning to grow inside you..

“ Now, what do you want to do?” Asked Alice.

“ I want to see Alastor.” you said, your voice calmer than a minute ago.

Alice nodded with a smile and asked one of her drivers to drive you to Alastor’s workplace. You were bouncing on the seat, stroking your belly, still flat for now. You felt like you were in a maze, you felt light but also heavy.

You ran out of the car once it parked. You looked down as you saw your shadow looking at you curiously. You told it to stay silent, watching as it went back to its normal form.

“ Victor, is Alastor working?” you asked, panting, when you saw the man in the corridor. He looked at you with a welcoming smile before shaking his head.

“ He is inside but he finished working.”

You thanked him before entering Alastor’s office, and closed the door behind you. You watched as your husband was looking at you with a fond smile. You were breathing hard, which immediately made him stand up with a worried expression even if his smile was still present.

“ Well, darling, you look like you ran from something… or someone? Did you see them?” you smile as his eyes flashed red when he asked you if you ran into the catholic couple. You shook your head as you took his hand and placed it against your cheek.

“ No, no… I… I have good news. Well, I hope it’s going to be good news…”

You watched as Alastor looked at you, confused but let you speak. You kept your gaze on his face, taking his hand from your cheek to place it against your belly. He tilted his head, confused. He looked so cute like this.

“ I’m pregnant.”

You watched as his eyes widened and his smile dropped, making your heart clenched. Was he not happy..? You waited for him to talk, you knew he always needed to have time with his thoughts but right now you needed him to act right now.

You watched as he kneeled in front of you, staring at your belly with a mix of fascination and confusion. You let him touch your stomach with a soft smile, he looked like a kid again, when he discovered something he never expected to exist.

“ You… I’ve made you… pregnant?” he asked softly, lifting his head up to watch you. You chuckled as you stroke his cheeks, your voice soft.

“ Yes.. I’m carrying your child.”

“Our child.” he corrected you.

“ Yes… Our child.” You smiled at him, your eyes getting teary. He scooped you in his arms, laughing.

“ Who would have thought ! There is something… in your belly that we created together…” He stared at you in fascination. He seemed fascinated that you both created something that would be alive.

You kissed him softly and giggled when you felt his shadow touched your belly with curiosity. It was poking at your belly then it went to poked your shadow’s belly who let him do it. Alastor made you sit down before opening the door and asking Victor to bring you a cup of water.

You looked at your belly. You were creating life, after killing so many people. You smiled, in a few months, you would meet your baby, something you and Alastor’s love created.

You couldn’t wait.

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dreamgirlvibes · 5 months ago

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We live in a culture where we are told we can go find better and do better- thus isolating ourselves and repeating this cycle over and over after small disagreements and ego-driven battles. Only to find ourselves becoming a capsule of emotions, memories and soul ties left with nothing but a false hope. Yes, there are instances where you SHOULD remove yourself and disconnect from people and things that are truly detrimental to your life and well being. But every single time someone fails or doesn’t meet such high standards, we’d rather let go instead of giving grace. We would rather remove what could have been instead of thinking of our own triggered responses and actions. We end up selfishly choosing ourselves instead and left with only ourselves. Traumatized by what is called love but we never truly find it. Taught by instagram memes and twitter posts and led by their manifestations. Guided by the followers of God and not Himself. Walking around the earth with a pride so high that couldn’t be reached but expecting for people to climb our walls. Love used to last back then because people knew what it was to TRY. We hallmark this ‘’90’s’’ r&b era because deep down inside we all want to find a love that stays, a love that never quits, that is vulnerable and faithful. It’s not about the boy groups ‘’begging and pleading’’ for their women. It’s not about the r&b divas expressing their hearts outs and uplifting their men. It’s not even about a nostalgic feeling. It’s about the fact that that we all had examples and situations that made us BELIEVE that the kinda love we deserve is WORTH IT. Worth crying for, worth chasing, worth staying, worth giving and trying. We are now blind to that type of love. We all have our guns in our pockets and weapons ready to aim at any kind of instance that doesn’t deem to be perfect. We have traded healthy love for toxicity and eventually made toxicity a normal thing- so normal we are TERRIFIED to try. Scared to stay. Horrified to look so crazy, so dumb, to be open, to cry, to do, to feel that we’re slowly becoming numb to the idea of it. Some praise singleness as a form of healthiness to the point of normalcy. And not saying that being single is not normal, but it’s the projection we forget about. People’s projections have become our new will and we all then cycle it back and pass It along. Causing all of us to eventually feel like we can do so much better, be so much better, when in reality we don’t even realize that the real work is working on ourselves. Nothing changes if nobody changes. We point the finger at each other when the target should be our own lives. If only you and that person could call it truths and instead instantly erasing the memories and history you’ve built off a disagreement, y’all can find a solution- first by removing the ego and letting vulnerability take its place. However, in this generation, that almost seems like a scam. We have power words we use for people who make simple mistakes- calling their choices a disease and spreading awareness to what could have easily been an apology. We would rather categorize people by names then to understand their reasons. We would rather perceive someone for what we choose to believe instead of allowing that person to find solace in us. Because in this generation- love is merely a concept. It is just a partnership until the contract is broken and when it breaks, we can go find another partner than can fulfill our selfish needs. It is prideful, it is not kind, it envies, dishonors others, self seeking, easily angered, never trusts, delights in seeing evil after departure and eventually fails. EVERYTHING opposite of what the Bible describes to BE LOVE. So do not think it rare that we have an enemy who is seeking to remove this altogether. To keep us soaked up in this concept until we no loner have a fighting chance. To keep us ‘’cutting each other off’’ and ‘’blocking’’ each other altogether because we feel like there is SO MUCH better when in reality the better needs to be YOU. You are the change that the world needs.

If everyone looked at themselves before trying to find this love in everyone else- we will all be facing ourseves and getting hit with the fact that when you finally turn around- you will THEN truly see each other. We will then finally see LOVE for what it is.

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mylight-png · 1 year ago

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Hi I have a hot take after seeing too much TikTok bullshit.

Islam and Christianity are religions of appropriation.

This is something that bothered me for a while but specifically came to my attention after seeing a TikTok where someone made the joke that the Christian pride flag is just the colors of Joseph's coat, based on the musical about it.

And fine, maybe that is a little funny. But the story of Joseph and his coat isn't Christian. It was Jewish first. It's still Jewish. Fine, they believe in it too (because they originally broke off from Judaism) but to claim it's Christian like that just rubbed me the wrong way.

So so so many people claim that Prince Of Egypt is a Christian "Bible movie" except it isn't. Or at the very least, it shouldn't be. Because it isn't Christian, it's Jewish. The Christians weren't led out of Egypt by G-d's hand. It was us, the Jews.

I know I seem petty, these are just movies, just musicals, and to some they are just stories. But this removal of Judaism from originally Jewish texts feeds into a larger problem.

Why do Muslims and Christians care at all about Israel? About Jerusalem, specifically? It's because they took our Torah and made it their "old testament" and claim it is the root of their religion. They claim they have equal, if not greater at times, claim to the land they only care about because we care about it.

If these religions were not Abrahamic then they wouldn't give a crap about Moses or Israel or Joseph's coat.

Any claim that any of the stories (for lack of a better word) from the Torah are Muslim or Christian is appropriation. Sorry not sorry. They were Jewish first, are Jewish now, and will forever be Jewish.

Can people of other Abrahamic faiths believe in them? I don't give a shit, I won't tell them what to believe, it's their religion. But they have no right to claim those stories as their own. To believe them and to claim them is vastly different.

When sharing in a culture that isn't your own, it's generally acknowledged to be wrong if you say that it's now part of your culture. Because it isn't. It still belongs to the original culture you took it from.

And since they do believe in the Jewish texts and claim them as their own, they are appropriating Judaism.

Shortly after October 7th, when my mom was talking to a coworker about what was going on, her coworker lamented the safety of the sacred sites. She said nothing of my mom's family living there, even though she knew. She, as a Christian, felt more entitled to care about the "sacred sites" (sacred to them because the land was first sacred to us) than about the Jewish blood being spilled.

I've said it before, to them, Jewish blood is cheap. And this appropriation only serves to cheapen it further.

This appropriation and entitlement has been an issue throughout history. The Crusades, the taxes on Jews for not being Muslim, this repeated and continued oppression of Jews under the justification of the other two Abrahamic religions, it's because those other groups feel entitled to our heritage, because they believe they're the ones "doing it right" and say we're doing it wrong even though what they do has strayed so far from their origins that such a claim is absurd.

I do not think Christians and Muslims should convert to Judaism. We don't encourage conversion (we accept y'all, but we aren't a proselytizing religion, not meant to offend Jewish converts).

What I am saying, however, is that Muslims and Christians should back the hell off from any claim to anything within their religion that is originally Jewish. And yes, that includes their entitlement to Israel and Jerusalem, and any and all "Biblical" stories that originated in the Torah. Those aren't Muslim or Christian, they're Jewish.

Again, I don't give a shit what people believe or practice, but what I am saying is for people to start giving credit where credit is due, and to back off from claiming other people's cultures and religions as reasons for your own entitlement.

Hell, I'm not even saying that only Jews can live in Israel. Anyone can live there now and that's fine. The issue is more so when claims start that Israel is equally important to all of us, or that Jews have no claim to the land. First, you care about it only because we did, that's not equal importance. And second, whether you like it or not, Jews are from Judea. We always have been, are, and always will be indigenous to Israel.

So yeah. Back off. Believe and practice what you want, but back off of what was ours first.

...

If this gets too much hate I'll just delete it tbh. It's a hot take and I recognize that the truth isn't for everyone.

#jewish #jumblr #judaism #jew #opinion #oops angry rant

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fumifooms · 1 month ago

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Do you think Kui retconned Kabru and Rin as a couple? It seems so strange how Kabru treats her if he views her as a sister

Rin & Kabru relationship analysis

Skip to the keep reading cut if you only want my Kabru & Rin thoughts. Tldr of the preamble is that I don't think Kui retconned anything but I don't think Kabru and Rin were ever meant to end up as a couple, but that doesn't mean that there's no way anything deeper or more complex is happening here. Under the keep reading is my pretty full analysis of Rin & Kabru, which I'll still cover in my full Kabru party analysis eventually.

1) People do debate about wether or not Kui changed her approach to a lot of her characters halfway through the story, Kabru, Thistle and Chilchuck to name the biggest ones. I've heard it be an explanation for the shapeshifters even, that it's a meta joke on how characters' old behavior and appearances have now become out of character. I personally believe nothing has been retconned, that all the characters are coherent and, perhaps more importantly, that regardless of later intent the early writing makes the characters more interesting and layered. Not that the idea of there being or needing retcons has no merit at all, for example forest goblins are in-world common knowledge to be found on the second floor, but we also learn later that goblins is a slur against half-foots, and knowing Dunmeshi's philosophy about humanoid monsters it's odd that they never ever come up again if they exist. The anime -and iirc adventurer's bible- kept there being goblins on the second floor of the dungeon, so much like Thistle's early appearance I have to believe it's a part of canon that's not meant to be retconned, ie that's canon and accepted as such, with some degree of intent. We do know that the climax of the manga was going to happen differently with what Kui was planning in the earlier manga days, with demon king dunlord Laios, too. Regardless of all this, for better or worse we hae what we have now and we must take it all into account as the whole picture of the work's story, world and cast- starting to pick and choose what's actually canon from the canon story is just giving up and letting the world burn lol.

2) Kui is fearless when it comes to presenting us with complex layered relationships without feeling the need to explain themselves or offering full closure. Marcille canonically sees Falin as a friend. Laios' succubus was undebatably Marcille. Mickbell sees Kuro as family. Were the touden parents bad parents? Is Maizuru? Is Milsiril? Ambiguity in Dunmeshi's case is a feature and not a bug, and perhaps this short story of Kui's shows why she prefers not to cast moral judgement as a narrator on various acts and characters. There's this very neutral approach to her writing where the cast does its own thing and she just tells us what happens, and as I said closure isn't a given. I've talked about the matter of wether or not Chilchuck's wife accepts him back before, something that bothers and lingers for a lot of readers, but an example that haunts me is Mickbell and Kuro. It's explicitly stated that Mickbell continues to "still being worked hard by Mickbell" after canon, and though we have one hint of how it might get better with Kuro learning common slowly but surely, there's no 1) conclusions as to what their relationship is exactly and 2) discouraging or encouraging framing for it, there's chiding but ultimately wether the relationship is more healthy than it is unhealthy and more salvageable than unsalvageable and worth it isn't answered. What happens will happen, and we just have to come to an answer that satisfies us on our own :') Or hey, how Falin only starts finding herself at the post-canon! It offers a nice end to her arc in canon of having a very malleable unpresent identity, but it starts another of self-exploration growth that is left open-ended. So, it's not because a relationship feels wrong or unfinished that it wasn't well-written or intended.

3) Kui doesn't lie but characters can. Characters can be unaware of things or even wrong, even with their own feelings, like Chilchuck saying he doesn't care about the party etc etc, or more widely Marcille thinking orcs are scum, or people at large in Dunmeshi believing in a modified truth of history, a version of it without the demon. These can be wrong objectively, but furthermore they can be disproved by the text, the way that Dunmeshi shows us orcs can be communicated with and peaceful etc etc and every character's racism ends up narratively or implicitly discouraged and disproven, kobolds included. The story is told by us through the characters and their actions, so it's their flawed perspective and incomplete information we have.

So, okay. Relationships are very complex but Kui doesn't tell lies, there's no info or moments that really have been retconned. The reader is left to make their own interpretation of canon.

... OKAY LAST TANGENT but we have to acknowledge something about canon quick too: This is gonna sounds ironic considering what I said earlier but while all extras are made to be in-character they're not all canon to the storyline, so to speak. There are sort of three types of extra comics context I can think of, there are comics set in pre or post canon, like one about the way Marcille was welcomed into Laios' party, or Falin's answer to Toshiro's proposal, which we have no reason to not believed happened in the canon timeline. Daydream Hours extras are exceptions because they're usually looser than Adventurer's bible extras, for example the comic about Milsiril visiting Kabru has a "what if" phrasing to the blurb. Then there are extras set vaguely in time that if during canon could simply happen off-screen, like Chilchuck's extra about hearing the party members going to the bathroom, a lot of monster tidbits also fit into this, which again I have no reason to assume hasn't happened. But now we get to the last type, the one set at a precise moment in canon that is impossible. My go-to example is the tidbit about werewolves, it's set during the Laios vs Lycion fight with Kabru present, and those chapters in the story had quite tight plotting, it makes no sense to consider that extra within the reality of that moment, it breaks the tone and story continuity and timespan of the scene, it can't be canon to the canon storyline. This is to say that again, although in every extra the lore is correct and characters are in-character, some extras are not "canon" to the story's timeline and can't have happened. And since it happened with one extra, that didn't have anybdisclaimer of being different than any other, it does put other extras' canonity into question a bit too. Ultimately, what we get in the actual manga is above everything else in both relevance and credibility. This is about extra comics, but I don't call into question all the extra info through text we get in character blurbs and about the Dunmeshi world within the Adventurer's Bible at all, especially since it was spexifically made to inform us more about canon. This is all just something to keep in mind, when talking about Dunmeshi canon.

Okay, now. In terms of rin & Kabru's relationship, as for what we see of their relationship...

The quickest summary of how they see each other:

Rin's line reflects how she follows him out of worry, thinking that his ambitious manipulating ways will fail him and get him in trouble eventually, and how that worry is out of care and love. Kabru's line... Is more ambiguous, but we'll get into it.

We don't see Kabru and Rin interact a ton, but we do see her bring her up or think of her unprompted this time, which reveals a bit of how he sees her/feels about her and what his priorities are.

He "wants to help her get away somehow", and this out of what? Duty? Charity? Care? The companionship they once shared? Sympathy, knowing how it feels like to be under inadequate care by elves? Kabru is empathetic and wants good for people, cares about people and community, is rather concerned by the greater good instead of individualistic gain etc etc, so this attention isn't necessarily uncharacteristic on its own.

What makes their bond unique is the history between them.

It's implied they spent a lot of time together growing up, which led to Rin wanting to stick with him. Perhaps as some trauma-fueled-bond hero, but in her own words mostly because she's worried he'll get into trouble if he's left alone. She expicitly loves him romantically, started presumably before canon and presumably hasn't stopped by the end of it either.

We see his priorities here. It's notable that besides Rin being the sort of by default second most important kabru party character, she's also the one he thinks of first, understandably since he knows her best. Like above, he speaks very matter-of-factly and coldly about it though, and he seems surprisingly apathetic. It's not the thought of hostages that drives him to eat those monsters and keep strong, it's the thought of learning the mystery of dungeons and how to prevent Utaya tragedies

This moment below may seem like nothing, but it's also pretty telling of their dynamic:

Rin in the moment negatively assumes he's only frivolously interested in Namari, and although Kabru doesn't shut it down instantly with a "this isn't about personal interest" he does imply clearly with "friends" that his intent isn't to woo her (the fantranslation uses the word lovers instead iirc, so the original japanese word might be more revealing. Considering how Kabru sometimes teases Rin and provokes her jealousy on purpose like with the mermaids, it's not impossible the word was an euphemism). Rin ambiguously disbelieves this and/or disapproves. It does feel like Kabru keeps this sort of persona air when answering her, so it's not entirely hard to understand- it's true he was keeping his real reasons and intent secret: only later on does he give his party the "Laios party" spiel and mention Namari was part of it.

This can also be seen as an example of the chaperone "big sister" effect of her nagging, and of her recurring bad faith towards him. Rin chastises Kabru for behavior and stances that are understandable, like telling him he shouldn't just smile and gloss things over when being belittled, but she does have the habit of being easily jealous and lashing out because of it. But again, if you see it from her stance, your childhood friend always thinks he an handle everything alone and acts like he has the fate of the world resting solely on his shoulders, and he keeps shutting you out and leaving you to guess for his intentions, and being someone under his leadership on top of a friend makes this more alarming and frustrating. Loving him as you do, knowing him for as long as you have, you'd wish Kabru was open with you and that'd create frustration.

Yet despite everything there's trust here. There's familiarity and a degree of comfort, even when Kabru always refuses to fully open up. A promise from Kabru means something to her, it's worth something, she does trust his word and morals even when she knows he can be dishonest. She's used to Kabru, and through thick and thin she wants to be there to support him in his goals and look after him.

But below, his priorities are reaffirmed. He literally pushes her out of his way in that first page, to get to laios who represents his goals, and then figuratively by brushing her off. I think it's very interesting that the look her gives her feels alike to the look he gives Laios shortly before, those sort of empty eyes. They make me think it's his mask-on "business mode" look, and when it's a matter of business things have gotten serious and he will not entertain irrelevant matters. Like Rin's feelings. My first instinct's always been that his look at her meant a resounding "shut up", but it's true it could also easily be a "come on, catch up", especially since he goes on to explain that they mustn't have meant harm in the first place.

It's not only the look that's cold though, because you'll remember, "catching the culprits" was the promise Kabru made to her, the one she trusted that made her agree to their party's plan at all in the first place. Even though the phrasing wasn't precise on that front, by giving up on confronting or punishing Laios' party at all he's breaking his promise, and doing so very dismissively.

It's the distance of it, in how cold he is to her, how distant from him and pushed away by him she feels. It seems to say that yes, the teases he does are meaningless bones he throws at her, the moments they share are below him and below his goals, this is what's important to him and this is how Kabru wants to treat her when push comes to shove. With harsh chiding of his own and then calm explanations, as if while she's heartfelt with him he's indifferent with her.

Although, like how in the end he doesn't want to kill Laios despite it being the safe choice, there's much to say on wether or not he would actually throw her under the bus in the end even if cornered. He always steels himself for the worst, but he's also more talk than bite when it comes to truly being effortlessly ruthless and he prefers to find peaceful and humane solutions. In the end though, the hostage situation more or less tips the scale both ways, even if it'd be easy to say he was simply hiding his concern.

Okay and now to quicken things up this is where I start dividing interpretations as "good faith" as in believing Kabru's explanation that he has a strictly sisterly attachment to her, vs "bad faith" where there is potential for considering romantic interest on his end.

To start with the least questionable:

"We're talking about how cute your smile is, Rin." Good faith: He's complimenting his friend, wants her to not feel insecure, wants her to feel more confident and likeable desirable, because he's nice or because he cares about her. It does make her happy in the end, after all. Knowing it would, he might even have said it just to demonstrate his point to Mickbell with her reaction. Bad faith: You know she likes you, isn't this weird to go out of your way to say? He's not lying exactly, but they were moreso talking about her attitude around smiling, and he could just as easily have deflected or said "Oh, nothing much". Bringing up her appearance or how cute she is could also have made her self-conscious, she's not really the kind that likes public attention- but he knows her the best and it shows, after all. In the end, it doesn't sound like something you'd just tell someone you know pines after you that you want to turn down or discourage from pursuing you.

"When she furrows her brows, I assume she's smiling inside" is also weird to me. Sure she does have this weird situation with emoting going on, but claiming Rin is never angry is factually wrong and always dismissing that anger feels belittling. But this approach to reading Rin and interacting with her would explain why he always teases her, I suppose.

But this is kinda what I mean when I say they are close, in a way, the way he knows how she is with smiling, the way he's comfortable saying things like this to her despite not being someone you just have to interact with occasionally. There IS familiarity there IS intimacy, it's just odd and inconsistently applied.

Kissing her: Good faith: This is an urgent dangerous situation and kissing her is the quickest and most direct way to shut her up, which in his situation he does not have the luxury of time or ressources to think through solutions better. We don't fully know the details of incantation magic's workings, had he slapped his hand over her mouth maybe her lips could have continued moving and chanting so she could have still finished her spell, compared to kissing where it stop both lip movement and sounds from coming out. Plus, kissing her has the added effect of heavily shocking her. In a 'what if' bluray bonus comic Kabru's party faces shapeshifters and he suggests everyone get naked as a quick solution, so it is implied there too that physical intimacy and privacy aren't something he puts above practicality. Bad faith: Gag her. Hell, shove your finger down her throat. 'Master of human anatomy and psychology' here decided he had no other choice than kissing her. In that 'what if' extra I mentioned, Kabru did find another much less practical way to deal with the shapeshifters and went through with that instead, knowing no one would be happy getting naked. Also "It's too bad she looks like a monster", hello what? Neutral: Perhaps he chose, because either way in any case he did choose to, to kiss her precisely because he's mr. master of psychology, because knowing it was Rin he decided kissing was the best approach specifically because it's her, knowing it'd shock her etc etc, regardless of it being tactful or not or if it'd hurt her or even encourage her love for him.

"It's too bad she looks like a monster." Good faith: It's a neutral enough statement that he could mean a couple of different things with it, including wishing he could see her reaction better or speak with her more easily. If we go with the "I wish I wasn't kissing her as a fishman" angle, well, he really hates monsters to a traumatized degree so pseudoincest may be preferrable over monsterfucking. Fair enough. Bad faith: The fantranslation translates it as "it's a shame" instead of "it's too bad", which does lend itself to a less neutral reading, but wether that's reliable and telling or not would depend on the original japanese sentence of course. He could have meant "I wish she looked like anything else but a monster", but "I wish she (at least?) looked like herself when I kissed her" is the most direct interpretation, and then, well. That's pretty damning. To me it sort of feels odd that'd have been the phrasing if that was the case, especially since Kabru especially has noticeable reactions to monsters like shaking, horrified faces and dramatic thoughts. This is his internal thoughts and "Too bad she looks like a monster" feels very casual- the same type of casual that he has when deflecting not being interested in Namari to Rin, aka him being more playful. "I wish she looked like herself when I had to kiss her", like man. Okay. There's a lot of leeway you can give him but it's still odd.

Good faith: ??? I do struggle with this one. A friend of mine has the interpretation that this is an epic own of sorts, that by "always like this" Kabru meant "unable for me to hear you" so he likes not hearing what she says. Reardless, wether his assumption is accurate or not, Kabru is taunting/teasing when he says "look at me, not the mermaids", to what could have very well been just Rin noticing his staring and telling him to focus, and "You'd be cute if you were always like this", and like always he's very casual as he does it, says it like it's nothing, so it could mean nothing deeper. Bad faith: Why do you have to say any of this, what do you think it accomplishes, this counts as flirting in most books. It doesn't make her mood better, it doesn't shut her up, so I can only imagine Kabru simply enjoys doing this, it entertains him for one reason or another. Why do you keep calling her cute why is this a pattern that is forming. Neutral: Presumably, Rin is also unable to hear him since they all wear the earplugs. This would mean that beyond his gesturing, his words aren't meant for her to actually hear.

So.

My honest reaction:

Kabru what is this............. Huh. Kabru. What do you mean

The issue

It's less intimidating when analyzing each piece of interaction one by one to slowly form a wider picture, but it's still quite the puzzle. Because ultimately, what he feels for her aside, he is both pushing her away and encouraging her crush on him. He is both keeping her out and leading her on. He is both trying to keep a distance and throwing her bones to latch onto. And huh. Why though.

He's too socially savvy not to know Rin likes him right? Right? He even teases her about being jealous. He has to. He hassss to. And then obviously he has no intent of reciprocating. Especially since he's a huge flirt with anyone and Rin makes it clear she feels jealous.

Then, it feels kinda cruel...? You don't have to flirt, or taunt her because you know she likes you, and blow her off like that without ever having a serious talk. And like I said, shove your finger in there instead of kissing her. Did he do it because he prefers her being kissed over her puking? Was it out of pity? Throwing her crumbs of attention? Is him wanting her out of the elves' grasp just pity? Is it soooo easy for Kabru to tease her and kiss her despite having no feelings of his own, borderline mocking how deeply she loes him and what it means to her? Is doing all this "for her sake" too, like bringing her along was? Just. Free Rin. Free Rin of this.

In the end, what side of "does Kabru like Rin or not" you fall on pretty much depends on wether you favor a consistent "good faith" reading or a consistent "bad faith" reading, which impression you got while reading. But I hope I was able to show that both sides have reasons to think it and both are coherent interpretations of canon, neither are just being dense or difficult for the sake of it. A Kabru interpretation differs almost person to person. Personally I think the ambiguity itself is telling, which is why I usually land with a weird ambiguous situationship characterisation with them, they're a third secret thing and Kabru's feelings for her are complicated imo. He doesn't love her but he doesn't not love her etc. Dungeon Meshi largely lets the reader come up with their own interpretations of details, Kui herself said interpreting characters however is readers' freedom, and the story also avoids romance in general.

Although, there's debate as to wether he even leads her on at all, and personally I think it's pretty undeniable regardless of his intent, if anything even just going by effect.

All I can safely say is that this is not the behavior of someone smartly turning someone down.

Potential 'why's

BUT you could almost say he's purposefully trying to hurt her by being jokingly flirty and casual about it all, which could be to push her away and discourage her from pursuing him, wether it be for her sake or his own. It is a ship post, but I explore this stance a bit in my previous kabrin post if you're interested and unafraid of shippy brainstorming.

Or, inversely, maybe to him leading her on is a way to spare her feelings. Maybe he feels guilty about her liking him, or maybe he feels like he has to repay her somehow. Where his behavior when teasing her in early canon is rather provoking, most often I'd call his demeanor towards her placating if anything. We do see that Kabru prefers letting people down easy, except when shit is serious in the dungeon I guess, and he tries not to rattle people.

Personally, my favorite niche reading is I think it's his way of avoiding confrontation. He doesn't want to lose her, so he gives her just enough hope to hold onto so she'll keep following him, unknowing that Rin follows him out of a sense of duty of her own rather than romantic hope, because he always underestimates people's like of him like Laios does, assumes that people like him less than they seem because even when they do it's a version of him that's tailored to be likable. So he does this to keep the status quo going and keep her interested without having to reciprocate or commit.

I do think he also takes her for granted a bit. "Whenever she frowns I imagine it's a smile instead" what are you talking about. Like I said earlier, it feels weirdly dismissive and belittling to treat her anger as if it was something else, even assuming it to be joy- and there's merit to calling the anger Rin often shows a misdirected feeling, because yes, it's out of worry and care and love and she has a hard time emoting outside of a harsh-seeming scope etc, but is this what's going on here? His words leave me equally intrigued and concerned.

And like, her caring anger coupled by her nagging and scolding and looking after him unconditionally, I'm sure she does frustrate him sometimes and makes her feel stifled especially with his background at Milsiril's, making the big sister comparison understandable... ... BUT THEN WHY LEAD HER ON.

What he could feel

Okay so first of. "She sort of feels like how it'd be like to have a big sister" and "I see her as a sister, i strictly see her as if we shared family ties and she was the blood of my blood" are different. Kabru being like "Man, I wished she looked like herself when I had to kiss her" does not feel like a brother-sister thing to me, personally.

But hey, going with the opposite angle too- "She's like a sister to me" can be an easy shorthand to say "I care about you but i don't see you romantically or sexually at all" and it can be "you are deeply important to me and our bond would remain no matter the distance or time we are apart" and even "I can't imagine my life without you (no romo)". In many languages like french, the word soulmate instead literally translates as 'sister soul', as in a twin soul etc etc- a husband and a wife too are family. This is to say that both familial love and romantic love can run very deep, with a similar intensity just in a different nature, platonic or romantic. Kabru doesn't necessarily feel very strongly towards Rin even with the sister angle, but what i'm saying is that if it isn't just a catchphrase to let Rin down easy, wether something he would tell Rin or just something he tells himself, then it's not entirely out of the question Kabru would mix up the nature of that affection he feels for her. Maybe being childhood friends, he thinks it makes sense for it to be what he feels for her. I don't think this is necessarily farfetched because we see that Kabru neglects his own needs heavily for the sake of his goals, he doesn't recognizes or acknowledges his needs for social connections or things like sleeping, cooking and keeping his living quarters orderly. I think it's in character for him to dismiss outright that he could be in love with someone, and even for him to suppress it, because he can't let anything be more important to him than preventing more Utaya tragedies. If you subscribe to the idea that Kabru wanted to be Laios' friend at the back of his mind, this is in line with that.

Regardless of the "truth"/intent, I agree Kabru treating 'his sister' Rin the way he did in canon is really mega major weirdo of him though.

He sees her as a sister, or he believes he does. With a romantic angle, it could mean: Denial, repression, having a bond that feels as deep and immutable. Leading her on because: wanting her near but still pushing her away, being interested and scared to admit it, thinking he shouldn't let himself have this, not interested but still wanting the safety net of her.

Again with my own interpretation, I think he loves her the way one loves a safety net. What I and others may mean when we say that we think Kabru doesn't love her but he also doesn't not love her. I think this is why he's both taking her for granted and caring, dismissive and considerate, her "brother figure" but also the guy who will flirt with her without a second thought. A safety net the way one is comforted by a big sister mayhaps, who's disapproving yet always unconditionally there to help. But family and comfort are so closely tied together, it's unsurprising they get entangled sometimes, a lot of behaviors can be seen as both romantic and familial and it's just a matter of the facts and perspective because in the end what they are both is loving- and canonically, Rin loves Kabru romantically and Kabru cares for Rin like a sister.

Conclusion

I've said before that I think you can call them each other's best friend and that that's sad, and I stand by it. I think it's easy to argue that Rin is the one who knows Kabru best currently in his life, and the reverse is true for Kabru knowing Rin best. It's lonely, for both of them I think, Rin's kind of tough love is not working for him and Kabru is not filling Rin's emotional needs.

The reason why Kabru might feel like he has to get Rin out of the elves' grasp is because she has no one else, at least no one else that was deemed important enough to have been referred to or implied at all. And Rin calls him out for his shallow behavior and his unhealthy habits. They're close enough and weirding others around them enough that people like Mickbell notice when they heatedly do their song and dance and argue but hey, this is just another monday, and how Mickbell asumes she cleans his place up for him because that's what intuitively makes the most sense- it's the first thought, the most intuitive. Rin would do anything for Kabru and devotes herself to helping him, after all.

Reminder that this is the guy we're talking about:

I think her concern is worried tbh, he doesn't know what a DUST CLOTH is and he's pretty unhealthy, forgetting to eat and drinking to go to sleep, overworking himself. He'd easily work himself into an early grave. He neglects himself. I've said before in my Kuro x Kabru post that I think Kabru focuses so much on the bigger picture and saving the world that he forgets that he himself is important too, that he's truly special to some people, that he's even some people's hero, not just the world's, and I think to a degree it's good that Kabru has someone there to ground him and scold him when he's being thoughtless or overthinking, to try to show him that he's loved and valued, in her own way which he claims to understand so well like he does her smiles.

Kabru's a character where fan interpretations especially differ, he's hard to read when it comes to the details, so his relationship with Rin is very much a grey zone, especially when trying to precisely pin it down. I think though that it is a mistake to say that Rin isn't special to him in some shape or form.

I talk about human connections as a big theme of Dunmeshi sometimes, as this thing everyone needs but may deny themselves or deny that they do need and want, and Kabru and Rin are part of that theme, to me.

Post-canon, Rin and Kabru continue to see each other, presumably semi-regularly, which is an implication from an extra that we don't get with the other Kabru party members. They stay in touch, because what tied them together was never work but a personal tie.

This ask took long af to write up but it's gonna make my Kabru party analysis easier later yay. Little preview of the chart i made.

I'll remind that Mickbell and Kuro's relationship is also stated to be of a familial nature. Contradictions aren't always mistakes, people are made of them! Just like how ambiguity can be a narrative tool, complexity and dissonance can be a feature and not a bug.

#Ask #Spoilers #Dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Dungeon meshi #Kabru of utaya #Rinsha fana #Kabrin #Meta #Analysis #feel free to argue in my notes this is a very layered and subjective topic and i guess not everyone sees his behavior as flip flopping #just don't expect me to reply i feel like i was pretty extensive here #hm wait i should have swapped the red or green with the blue in my chart for colorblind folk i'm stupid #well i did again lose all my files with my ipad breaking so this is what we got ig...!#i need a smoke after this kabrin kabrin you are so wtf. (I do not smoke)#ask asked on the 14th #btw in my head after all is said and done here I do see them as just staying friends forever and mellowing out with time becoming normaler #the preamble is very much Fumi Rambles but not the second half so i won't tag ig. why do i take this so seriously #Kui did go out of her way to make Kabru weird about Rin. Narratively and behavioraly these did not need to happen

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kikitakite · 9 months ago

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@fantasyfictionfables

I was going to reblog some of your posts because I wanted to discuss your takes on Mystra, but then I found out you're a Christian conservative who hates gay people.

No gay person thinks their sexual orientation is their identity, but it's absolutely PART of their identity, just as being straight is part of yours. You can claim otherwise, but it determines who you might love and marry and that person will one day become a part of you and your identity. It's inevitable. As a wife and mother of three, you should know that better than anyone.

But people from groups like yours shame gay people for exploring that part of themselves and that's why Pride Month exists. Pride isn't "propaganda". It's about marginalized people showing the world they exist and they're not ashamed of it. Parades are also a great way for gay people to meet each other. My bestie met her wife at a march 15 years ago and they've been together ever since. It's beautiful. They have two happy, gorgeous children who wouldn't exist without Pride, because their moms never would've met.

Pride also raises money to help gay teens who've been cast out of their homes and gay refugees who've had to flee their country because being gay is illegal there. It also provides support for gay people who need medical help, therapy for abuse, suicide prevention and more. It's a safe space for people who are often discriminated against and even KILLED just for being who they are. So sorry that seems to bother you.

Your take isn't brave, it's just ignorant and hateful. You didn't have to write that post. Nothing provoked it. You just WANTED to to air your allegiances. And then you turned off comments and reblogs lmfao. For the majority of the year, gay people survive just like us straights. They go about their day and don't even mention being gay. You picked the one month in the entire year that's dedicated to them to complain about their existence and call them "deranged". And then you have the audacity to say you "bear no ill will" towards them? Bullshit.

I can only assume the word "pride" scares you because you're a Christian and it's a sin, am I right? Well here's something ironic: lust is also a sin, yet your entire blog not only consists of Gale thirst posts, but you're also stealing Tim Downie's voice to make audio clips using AI. Hmmm, I wonder if God would approve of a married woman posting NSFW content and using a man's voice for her hedonistic writings without his consent. 🤔

And by the way, as a veteran DnD player I can tell you right now that Mystra has done some absolutely VILE shit to her followers. She's not perfect. None of the gods in DnD are. They're flawed and often cruel. I've seen you compare Mystra and Gale to stories in the Bible, but that almost feels blasphemous. Mystra has a history of evil deeds. She orchestrated Elminster's rape, made sure he had kids and never told him about them. She turned Volo into an anchor without his knowledge. She tortured a peasant because he refused to sleep with her, then killed his wife and punished him for crying about it. And don't even get me started on the "daughters" she created. The third Mystra (who has Mystra and Mystryl's memories) is cruel to Gale as well and the game gives so much context for that. Plus ALL the companions agree she's unreasonable and tell Gale to reject her, and if he does it leads to one of his most satisfying endings. He's happy, he's a teacher, he marries tav and everyone approves. Your way of playing isn't the only right way and people aren't wrong for criticizing Mystra. There's plenty about her that deserves to be criticized, as is the case with every god in the pantheon.

Speaking of, I have nothing against Christians, but I do when they use their faith to shame people and act like total hypocrites.

#pride month #happy pride 🌈#homophobia #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #mystra #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #call out post #tw r4p3

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thepatristictradition · 7 months ago

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Your "Biblical World View" is just 19th Century Enlightenment Propaganda

Is it just me, or does everyone stroking their ego about how "Biblical" they are, and how "Bible-Believing" they are (protestants, always), always seem to never actually believe the Bible?

I think so many of the tumors growing on the back of Sola Scriptura (where is that in the Bible?) are a result of late enlightenment, materialist philosophies, built on a bedrock of a hermeneutics of suspicion.

I saw a horrific example of this when I read someone discount John John 8:7-11 because, "Well, that section of John wasn't written by John, actually. It was added by scribes, so you shouldn't take it as seriously." Like, what? If this is your take, do you just not believe in any of the Bible? If some part is less Divinely Inspired, if it is less the Word of God, how is any of the Bible to be believed?

This is very funny, please laugh.

What this does is create impossible win conditions verging on, "If Jesus didn't write the Bible with his own earthly hands and leave it on a table for John the Baptist (not Catholic) to copy by hand, then none of it is real." Do you see how stupid that is? It is very stupid, and also very much not the historical view of the Church.

Scripture is Divinely inspired and Inerrant. It is inspired by God and has no Errors. This does not mean all of Genesis as we have it now was written by Moses himself. But all the people who recorded it for him, translated it, recovered it, and edited it were divinely inspired, and their collective work is without error.

I don't care what kind of historiographic view you take on Gospel authorship-- I care that you actually believe in the Bible. This handwringing over, "oh, who really physically wrote xyz," is a product of actual Free Masons, no I am not kidding.

This is what singled-minded, scholarly fixations on the Bible will do to people, and this is exactly why the Church needs Tradition. Tradition is why we have the Bible in the first place-- you're welcome, by the way. Tradition teaches you how to interpret the Bible. It is nothing less than the height of hubris to assume you know better, you are more imbued with the Holy Spirit, and more worthy of interpreting the scriptures than men who knew the apostles personally.

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d1xonss · 5 months ago

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Desert Rose

Chapter 63 ~ Death's Deaf Ears

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 5

✧ Word Count : 5.9k

In this chapter ~ Grief was an odd thing, and it seemed to come when someone least expected it. As Rose mourned the loss of a girl who had truly touched her heart, she finds that the hits just keep on coming as yet another person falls victim to their fate.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ROSE POV *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Numb. That's all I felt. Utterly and painfully numb.

After Beth died right in front of my eyes, something changed. Losing her was something I never thought I would ever experience, but here I was, continuously living my life without her. I didn't know how I would move on from this; I didn't even know if I could move on. It seemed like the most impossible thing in the world. She was always this little light at the end of a very dark tunnel, so positive, happy, and having her ripped away from me was one of the hardest things I think I would ever have to experience.

Daryl kept his promise; we buried her. I couldn't stop crying as I watched the dirt being piled on top of her, nor could Maggie. I still could hardly look at her, feeling ashamed and guilty as if it were somehow my fault. All I remember was Glenn holding her tight as Gabriel said some words from the bible, a moment of silence following after he was done.

Although the silence wasn't exactly silent.

Maggie and I sobbed throughout the entire thing as the others around us let a few tears spill as well for the loss. I remember just staring at her grave and nothing else, thinking about the last moments I had with her. Though no amount of time would've ever been enough. I was so angry. She was the last person on earth that deserved to pass so cruelly, and I hoped to God that the bitch who killed her rotted in hell forever.

Her funeral was two weeks ago, but somehow that's all I could remember. I stopped paying attention to where we were going. I stopped attempting to eat much of anything. I stopped caring about everything as a whole. The only thing I found I started to do, was push people away. I didn't have the energy to talk...I didn't even have the energy to care.

I distanced myself from them every chance I got. To be completely honest I didn't know why I was doing it, I was just completely heartbroken, and it felt like it was the only way I could cope. Nobody could say or do anything to make the pain go away, or to make me feel better at all. I just followed them wherever they decided to go, not caring about which direction we went or where our final destination would land. I was just trying to survive.

The group talked about the difference between surviving and living one night around the fire that one long winter, and I think I was finally starting to understand what they meant. Living is actually enjoying the life and opportunities you're given, basking in it almost, but surviving is just...surviving. You're just moving, eating, and drinking to stay alive, not for a purpose. It was depressing but it was true.

Over time, everyone was starting to get the hint that I wanted to be left alone...well, everyone except Daryl. He could never seem to leave my side no matter what. Every time I would go off into the woods by myself to have some peace and quiet, he would wordlessly follow right behind me. He would offer me the rest of his food when he noticed I didn't eat much. He somehow was always clung to my side, worry only consuming him more every passing day when he looked at me.

Don't get me wrong, I loved this man more than anything in this world, but I didn't want him to be constantly hovering over me the way he was, and he sure as hell knew that. He knew how badly I wanted to be left alone, but he just wouldn't allow it as if he feared I would just walk right up to a walker and let it attack me. I wasn't suicidal by any means, even though it wouldn't be that mind blowing if I was. I just needed space, desperately wanting him to understand that.

But I never put up much of a fight whenever the familiar pattern occurred, because I knew if I did, I would absolutely lose it. With everything I was bottling up inside, I knew I would freak out on him, and that wasn't something he deserved. But holy shit was he testing my patience.

That's why when I overheard the group mention something about a place that Noah wanted to visit, his old neighborhood, I wordlessly got up to join them. It took them all a bit by surprise that I was willing to come along, but they didn't seem to question it as I figured they silently appreciated the extra hands to help out. But the truth was I just needed to get away.

It was as if I were constantly suffocating when I was here with the rest of the group. So, it felt like a breath of fresh air when we all finally piled into the car, silently heading towards the old sanctuary that Noah was so anxious to see.

I sat in the very back of the vehicle next to Glenn, briefly hearing the conversation Ty and Noah were having all the way up front as I stared off into space. Though their voices were too muffled to make out any clear kind of word. Leaning my head against the coolness of the window, my tired eyes watched the trees pass by in a flash with how fast we were moving.

Tears slipped from my eyes as they usually did, from the utter exhaustion and depressive feeling that constantly weighed me down, but I just subconsciously wiped them away as more came to fall down my cheeks. It had sadly become a regular habit that haunted me, not knowing anymore if I was crying because my body was begging for sleep, or if I was crying because of the crushing loss. Perhaps it was both.

These past couple weeks I've just been a complete mess of emotions all the time, and I was growing tired of seeing how everyone else looked at me. All I saw was nothing but pity in their eyes every damn time, and I hated it. I didn't want or need anyone to feel sorry for me, but they still did anyways, and I found I had to tell myself that it was something that I unfortunately couldn't control.

Glenn continuously kept subtly stealing glances at me every time I moved my hand up to wipe my cheeks, watching it happen from the corner of my eye. Not even needing to look over and see his face, I sensed his eyebrows were knitted together in concern. They always were.

His hand then hesitantly moved over toward me, landing gently on my knee as he gave it a light squeeze, trying to offer some sort of comfort. My eyes looked over to him, seeing him sending me a small, yet reassuring smile, but I only scooted further away from his touch.

My gaze panned back out the window, my head now turned completely away from him as I heard him sigh quietly in defeat. I didn't let it bother me though as I started to absentmindedly play with Beth's bracelet that was now on my wrist.

Looking down at the woven colorful strings, made me think of the very moment I gave it to her. It was during one of the nights we spent together talking for hours on end, remembering her mentioning how her friends used to make cheap friendship bracelets, and she missed old times like that. So, on the next run I went on, I made sure to keep an eye out for any kind of string so I could make her something special just like she had in the old world.

When I found the supplies and made it for her, she was absolutely overjoyed to see the bright strings tied together to make a colorful band just like the one she had in the past. It hit me then and there that she was one of the few people I would do just about anything for. Like hunting down that new guitar and teaching her more songs, or singing with her in front of the group just to make her happy, or making sure to take care of Judith when she needed a little break.

More tears pooled in my eyes at the thought of never doing anything special for her again. Never having the late night talks we used to share, or never hearing her sing ever again. I was going to miss her voice. She was such a pure soul, and now she was gone. Ripped away selfishly from all of us forever.

Sighing to myself, I wiped my eyes once again and tried to stop my emotions from spilling all over the place, wanting to gather myself as much as I could as to not let Glenn see me completely break down. Luckily the car coming to a halt snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked around to see that we had finally made it after the long drive.

We all climbed out of the car and I trailed behind everyone as they led the way, a machine gun held loosely in my hands. It was a longer walk through the trees before we finally came up to the gated neighborhood, Glenn being the first one to climb up and peer over to the inside. Though he only seemed to glance around the street on the other side for a moment or two, before looking back down towards us and shaking his head sadly.

For some reason, it didn't click in my mind back at the hospital what Rick was talking about when he mentioned Noah wanting to go home. But I understood now, wanting to get back to his community that he was once ripped away from, the family and friends that he thought were here waiting for him. But we all silently knew just by Glenn's action meant that none of them made it through something that happened recently.

Noah's eyes widened as the realization hit him like a bus, quickly limping over toward the opposite side of the guarded place, hopping over the edge to see for himself what was left inside. We all followed his lead quickly as we didn't know where he would go, rushing over the gate just as he was nearly jogging down the streets, desperately trying to see if anyone was left alive.

The kid didn't stop, not even when Rick called out for him quietly, only slowing down the second he saw a few dead bodies ahead lying on the concrete, along with a few walkers wandering around on the grass. He broke down completely and fell to the ground, starting to sob in the middle of the street at the loss of his people. My heart broke for him, knowing the feeling all too well when we all got separated back at the prison. Thinking your family is dead- or worse, knowing your family is dead, is just about the worst feeling in the entire world.

The walkers that were still lingering around the area suddenly began to take notice of the sobbing boy, their eyes then panning over to the rest of us in pure hunger and desperation. I watched as Michonne wordlessly took out her sword to take care of them before they could get any closer to us, but I stopped her with a wave of my hand.

"I got them." I muttered under my breath, taking out a few knives as they only inched closer.

Four of them managed to make their way over, spread out from each other, making it easier for me to take them on. I gripped the knife in my hand tightly before chucking it at one of their heads, watching it slowly fall to its knees before completely crashing onto the concrete below. I easily killed another, spinning around out of its reach right before it could grab me, kicking its leg out from under it before stabbing it in the back of the head.

I quickly retrieved my other knife from the dead walker's head, before stabbing the next one coming at me straight through its eye. Though with everything going on, my attention being drawn in too many different directions, I seemed to lose sight of the fourth. But right as that thought ran through my mind, familiar loud growls were heard from just behind my frame, giving me no chance to react.

In the split second I whipped around to face the monster, the steel of a sword was going straight through its head before it could sink its teeth into me, the blade almost poking me in the nose with how close it was to my face. The walker fell harshly to the ground by my boots when the weapon was retracked back, revealing Michonne huffing like she had to rush over to make it just in time.

I scoffed as I put my knives back in place around my hips, "I told you had it." I spoke stubbornly.

She looked slightly taken aback, "You had it, huh?" she asked, following me the moment I tried to walk away, "You got a death wish or something? I was helping you."

"Don't." I snapped, turning around to face her again, "I don't recall the last time I needed anyone's supervision, I'm fine."

She surprisingly wasn't frustrated at my snappy tone, her calmness never fading as she looked at me with the same damn pity I had been witnessing constantly. "You didn't need to take that on alone."

I silently knew the double meaning behind her words, and it just made me scoff, "I'm fine." I repeated before I continued to walk away.

But the more I began to think, the faster I got my second wind, turning around with a pointed finger in her direction, "You think I haven't noticed the way everyone's been staring at me lately? Like I'm so fragile or something that you have to tiptoe around me. But I'm the same exact person that's dealt with one loss after another...and this isn't any different."

I felt my face get hot with how much emotion was suddenly filling my voice, spinning around on my heel the second my sentence was finished so she wouldn't see me crumble. I knew she was just trying to help, but again, I didn't need people thinking that I was weak just because I lost somebody important.

My steps became slowly hesitant as I approached the group once more, seeing Noah in the same spot on the ground as he cried with his head in his hands. Though Rick saw me coming out of the corner of his eye, walking up to speak to me lowly.

"Listen, we're planning on picking through a few houses to gather up what we can. Try and get Noah back on his feet to come back with us...you good with that?"

I shrugged, "It doesn't matter."

"It does." he insisted.

I didn't bother to answer him as I just simply turned around to head into the few houses that were the closest to me, wanting to grab whatever was left inside before we were ultimately back on the road with the others. I hadn't brought my bag, but I could only assume there would be at least one in the houses I picked through, something to carry everything back. Rick called after me, but I just ignored him and kept going, itching to finally be alone for once in what felt like forever.

I walked up to the closest structure I saw and went in through the garage. I opened and shut the door loudly behind me to alert any potential walkers inside to make themselves known. But when I was only met with silence, I took that as my cue to head in deeper as I trucked up the stairs into the living room. Right away I spotted an old backpack hanging on a doorhandle, peeking inside to see if there was anything useful, but it was only a few crumpled folders and a poetry book. I scanned the cover, the title seeming to intrigue me a bit as I decided to keep it before slinging the bag over my shoulder to look for supplies.

I raided through the kitchen and was only met with one can of beans and two cans of corn left in the cabinets. Down the hall were a few extra rooms to pick through as I silently hoped to have a little more success. I checked out the bathroom first, wanting to see if there was some medication I could bring back. All I was met with were some empty pill bottles and some really expired tums, but I did a double take when I looked in the mirror.

It was safe to say I looked terrible. There were bags under my eyes that could carry someone's groceries, and the cuts on my cheek and neck were almost completely healed; but scarred like a mother fucker. Though I was silently thankful that whoever stitched me up at the hospital picked the stiches that dissolve on their own so I wouldn't have to worry about taking them out myself. That would've been a bitch to do.

I then headed toward the few bedrooms that had yet to be checked, finding the master didn't have much to offer other than a few clean shirts that I managed to take. Even the bathroom attached to the space hardly had anything at all, but I was lucky enough to find some tampons. Lord only knows how scarce those were. I put the box in my bag whilst I looked toward the remaining bedrooms, one looking to be a child's. There was clearly nothing worth taking from there which led me to the final room on the right, assuming it was a teenagers based on the decorations.

My eyes scanned to see the space was pretty clean, but my attention was immediately drawn to the object that sat tall on the twin bed. A guitar.

A lump formed in my throat as I looked at the instrument, biting the inside of my cheek to try to keep myself together. I felt my shoulders sag in defeat as I slowly lowered myself to sit on the ground, exhaling a shaky breath as I thought about the one girl that hadn't left my mind for one second in the passing weeks. She was everywhere. Everywhere I looked there would be some sort of sign that she was there with me.

The first night after she passed, I had to move away from the sleeping group because I couldn't stop sobbing, fearing I was being too loud. It was the only time I was able to sneak off without Daryl following close behind me, feeling as though I could actually get away. I didn't know if he did it on purpose or if he just didn't realize. But in the back of my mind, I knew that he was aware, he just wanted me to have a moment to mourn by myself.

I walked further into the woods as I tried desperately to pull myself back together, my head tilting up toward the sky in attempt to stop the waterfall of tears from falling. But that action caused me to catch a glimpse of a shooting star passing through the night sky, just like the first night I had grieved the loss of Hershel. It was like her own little sign of telling me that not only was she safe, but she was with her dad again. And it only made me cry harder.

After that, the signs just kept appearing over and over. Like a single flower blooming in the middle of a dead, yellow field. Or when I came across a tree with just the single letter B carved into the wood of the trunk. And now this guitar sitting before me, almost mocking me. She was everywhere I looked, and I didn't know whether to find comfort or sadness in that aspect.

My head then snapped up when I heard the sound of the door beside me creaking open, seeing Glenn standing there with a sorrowful look on his face. I mentally groaned that he was witnessing this yet again, looking away from him as I dried my eyes, feeling him come to sit down right beside me without uttering a word.

I didn't know if I wanted his company or not, but frankly my mind was too scrambled to even think about it for too long. So, I let him stay. He was silent for a while as I put myself together again, before his gaze landed on the one thing I kept glancing back to, hearing him sigh to himself in defeat.

"I miss her too."

"Stop." I cut him off, sniffling and pulling up my sleeves to help dry my cheeks.

He shook his head insistently, "Ro, you don't have to go through this alone, just let us help-"

"I'm still grieving." I breathed, now looking over at him, "Have you said any of this to Maggie? Have you even uttered a word to her about Beth?"

His silence spoke louder than my own voice did, and he didn't need to say a word for me to know the answer. "I didn't think so." I muttered.

Another long and loud silence passed as he truly didn't know what to say to me anymore. It made me think about how the hell we even got here, the losses we've taken only driving us further apart while we mourned in different ways.

"I'm sorry." he finally whispered, "I know how close you were with her, but-"

"No, no," I said, shaking my head, "But nothing. I was close with her, and then I lost her, and now I'm grieving...end of story."

"But you don't need to do it alone." he nearly pleaded.

I shook my head again in disbelief, "You don't get it." I let out a breathy, humorless laugh, "I was alone my whole life...I never got too close to anyone, and that's the only way I knew. I've never lost anybody like this before, not one this tragic. All of you can understand what it feels like to lose someone important...but I have no idea what it's like. This is all so new to me...losing someone I cherished so much. And...I need to figure it out on my own."

When I finally got the nerve to look him in the eye after spilling my heart out, there was a clear mist of tears glistening in his eyes at the feeling I described, easily sensing he wanted nothing more but to wrap me in a tight hug. But he didn't. He was scared it would only make me uncomfortable, push me away further, so he just stayed put as he thought about his next words carefully.

"Daryl slipped up one night...a long time ago about how, um..." he swallowed thickly, "About how you tried to run after Sophia died." he quietly admitted.

My eyes slightly widened as I made a mental note to kill Daryl later. "I just- I don't know...I guess I'm just making sure you don't run this time...because I can't lose you too, Ro."

His emotions were clear as day as he fully bared his soul to me it seemed like, my heart nearly shattering at the thought of him worrying that I would just disappear. I didn't want him to think that, I didn't want anyone to think that. I just needed to process all the emotions and difficulties for however long it took. I wasn't going to just run away, because the truth was, that would break me even more.

"I'm not going to run," I promised as I looked over at him sadly, "I'm staying right here...I just need some time...okay?"

He nodded slowly, "Okay..."

But the moment we were having, even if it was a small one, was completely cut short as the front door of the house opened and closed with a slam, followed by rushed footsteps until Rick suddenly appeared in the doorway, "Come on! Tyreese was bit!" he spoke in a panic.

Barely even processing the words he was saying, his franticness was all it took for me to jump to my feet and sprint behind the man to get out of the house as quickly as we could. My legs were moving faster and faster as my heart was harshly beating out of my chest. I didn't care how badly my lungs burned or how tired I felt from the lack of rest I'd been getting; I was determined to get to him. To save him.

We all rushed inside the house to find him in one of the bedrooms, laying on the floor and bleeding out profusely. All the color was drained from his face as he had a hazy look in his eye like he was about to pass out from the blood loss. Rick hurried over and pulled his arm out as far as he could, catching a glimpse of where the bite mark was embedded in his flesh. Though it didn't even look like the movement had affected him at all as he laid there almost limply.

Michonne quickly whipped out her sword and with one swipe, she was able to cut his limb clean off. I just stood there in shock, not being able to move or even breathe as I watched them slice his arm completely from his body. I told myself I'd save him, but I couldn't even do that. The scene was so gruesome and horrible, almost too much to even fathom right now.

Rick and Glenn didn't hesitate to find some kind of sheet to wrap around what was left of his arm to slow down the bleeding, before then hauling him up to help him out of the house, the man's weight resting heavily on their shoulders. I snapped out of my sudden trance as soon as they brushed passed me, not hesitating to follow them out of the house and back down towards the gate.

I kept up them as the two practically jogged with him in their grasp, the others just behind us as the gate was slowly coming into view, yet just out of reach. But we had to think fast, climbing back over wasn't exactly an option and the gate was chained shut, the sound of walkers now on the other side as they tried to claw their way in.

"We have to break the lock!" Rick yelled.

I nodded frantically, rushing over to fumble with the thick chains before they finally became loose enough to open up the large wooden doors, sending the walkers from the outside piling in toward us. I reached for my bow and started to fire arrows at the ones coming our way while Noah held Tyreese up and away from the chaos, trying to get him to keep his eyes open.

The rest of us fought off the corpses one by one so we could make our way through, needing to get him back to the car as fast as possible. We managed to kill them off within only seconds, Rick and Glenn quickly turning back to help him up as the rest of us ran ahead to make sure the area was clear. We booked it towards the car through the familiar route we took earlier, my eyes constantly darting back multiple times to see Ty still awake, yet barely conscious.

Killing a few more dead ones along the way, we eventually all picked him up one limb at a time while Noah directed us back to the vehicle just ahead of us. The pace we were once going was far too slow, and when we saw the amount of his blood staining the sheet that he held loosely, we knew we had to pick up the pace. I felt the sadness building as I tried to hold it together, shaking my head to try and prevent it from happening. He had to stay alive. I couldn't lose myself in my emotions if I wanted him to stay alive.

After what felt like ages, we finally made it to the van, pushing myself to get in first to help lower him onto the middle row so he would be laying down flat on his back. I held onto his legs while his head was resting on the opposite window, Glenn and Michonne quickly climbing over to get in the back. Rick ran around to the front as Noah got in the passenger seat and as soon as the kid closed the door with a slam, Rick floored it to race back to the others.

My chest rose and fell with every heavy breath, looking over at Tyreese's face to see his eyes start to grow heavy, my hand immediately tapping on his leg so he wouldn't pass out.

"Come on Ty, stay awake." I said, trying hard to hide the desperation in my voice.

He lazily opened his eyes once again and I sighed in relief, "We're getting closer, just hold on. You're going to be okay...you're going to be fine."

I kept lightly tapping his leg, praying that he would stay conscious as my other hand moved to now put more pressure on his gaping wound. The car swerved around back and forth aggressively, Rick trying to speed as fast as he could to make it back. I could hear Noah yelling the directions at him frantically, which ways to turn, but it all just ended up fuzzy in my mind, not being able to focus on anything as my mind spiraled.

My gaze shifted down once more to check on him again, but his eyes were now completely closed. I tried to keep calm as I saw his state, tapping on his leg a bit harder to get his eyes to flutter open again.

"Ty?" I asked.

He didn't flinch.

"Ty? Tyreese, open your eyes."

Rick's head spun around at the sound of my words, hearing him sigh dreadfully in defeat, but I didn't give up as I only shook him harder in the bumpiness of the car. "Tyreese you have to open your eyes. Open your eyes. Come on." I begged.

I felt the car begin to slow down to a stop and instinctively looked out the window to see we were pulled over onto the side of the road. Panic flooded through me, quickly hopping out of the car along with everyone else. They all pulled Tyreese out of the van, but he still stayed unresponsive, my eyes widening as I instantly pushed Noah and Glenn out of the way and got down on my knees next to him.

I leaned down to rest my ear against his chest, trying to listen for a heartbeat, but was met with nothing. No. He wasn't going to die. I quickly shot back up and folded my hands together, starting to firmly push over his heart to start CPR, mentally counting to thirty as I tuned everything else out.

"Rosie." I heard Rick's distant voice from behind me, but I ignored him.

I kept counting silently in my head, tilting his head up to breathe into his mouth twice before going back to push on his chest, counting again. I briefly heard them talking around me, but I couldn't bring myself to hear, focusing on him and him alone to try and keep him alive.

"Rose." Rick tried again, sadness filling his voice.

I ignored him once more as I aggressively pressed on Tyreese's chest again and again, before suddenly feeling his hand wrap around my arm in attempt to pull me back, "No." I snapped, ripping myself out of his hold to keep going.

I felt his hand pull me again, "No! Rick, no!" I yelled as I fought to get away from his grasp.

"Rose, come on." he spoke quietly.

His voice and protests meant nothing to me. I couldn't let him die. But both of his hands suddenly brought my arms back, pulling me away from his body, "No! I can save him! Please!" I screamed as I thrashed around to try and get out of his hold.

But he didn't let me go, slowly inching me further away from him, "I can save him! I can save him Rick, please!" I pleaded desperately as tears began to stream down my face once more.

He got down on his knees and held me back by my shoulders as I saw Michonne slowly walking over towards his head. "No! No, please don't! Let me save him!"

But my words only fell on deaths deaf ears, everyone around me sadly ignoring my protests as they all knew what needed to be done. I kept fighting, begging for them to listen to me, squirming harshly in Rick's arms as he tried to shush me.

"Don't look Rosie...don't look." he whispered right beside my ear, his arms squeezing me softly.

And before I could even bat an eye, Michonne quickly stabbed Tyreese in the head with her sword in one swift motion, squeezing her eyes shut as she listened to my sobs.

"No!" I yelled, watching his blood trickle down her weapon as my vison only blurred more with tears.

Rick gently pulled me closer to his chest as I continued to cry, whispering reassuring things that only I could hear, but I couldn't be bothered to listen. My eyes didn't stray away from Tyreese's dead body in front of me, feeling a fantom weight beginning to crush me at yet another person I couldn't save.

I mindlessly watched from a distance as Gabriel once again read from the bible at another dreadful funeral. Everyone around his grave was taking turns to scoop some dirt to cover him more and more, but I just couldn't force myself to do it. My eyes were puffy, my stomach churned as I felt like I could throw up with how much not only I've lost, but what we've all lost. I could see so clearly that everyone was holding on by a thread, and I was only finding myself closer to my own breaking point.

My eyes lingered on Sasha as she fiddled with the necklace that used to be around Tyreese's neck and brought it to her lips to kiss, the beanie he always wore being placed on the makeshift cross above where he would rest peacefully. It couldn't have been more devastating.

Looking up, I saw that Gabriel was finished and people were slowly starting to disperse after their silent goodbyes. Finding myself leaving as quickly as I could. Not because I wanted to, but because I could hardly stand to look at the scene any longer. My steps were slow and heavy as I began to walk back to the makeshift camp we had set up, but I quickly felt a presence lingering behind me. And I didn't need to turn around to know who it was, the sting of his eyes on me was all too familiar.

He wanted to say something to me, I could sense how desperately he was trying to find the right words. But the truth was, we hadn't uttered a thing to each other since Beth, and I silently knew he had no idea how to even approach me anymore. However, that was the least of my concerns. He was breathing, and that seemed to be all that mattered to me.

All I could focus on now, was surviving.

~ Thanks for reading! (Whew, this one was hard to get through just like the last. It really doesn't get easier does it?)

Taglist ~ @justareader95 @hayley1998 @ryoujoking @sipsthecoffee @winterassassin1804 @marsmallow433 @catlalice @writingstreetspirit @silentlysuffering @mystictf @remuslittlesister

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon the walking dead #daryl dixon x oc #daryl dixon twd #daryl dixon x original character #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl dixon #daryl twd #twd daryl #twd fanfiction #twd #norman reedus #norman reedus fanfiction #desert rose

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hillbillyoracle · 17 days ago

Note

I know you're probably busy but could you share more things that might seem like common knowledge about US religious fundamentalism that you feel don't get talked about enough?

I can't speak to religious fundamentalism generally. I can only speak to my experiences personally with Christian fundamentalism.

I also have trouble knowing what is and isn't common knowledge until it comes up in conversation.

I guess, given the wild responses I've gotten on that post, I want to inspire some nuance and empathy.

What I want people to know is that however you try to simplify Christian fundamentalism - these people are evil, they're heartless, etc - you will be wrong and you will not make a lick of progress.

So to preface what I'm about to say, I am trans and queer and realized it fairly early on. I also know that adults around me picked up on it before I fully did and were generally not accepting.

With that being said, I fucking loved church growing up.

My average week was going to church Sunday morning and then again for Sunday evening services. I would pretty much always go to Wednesday evening youth group and when Bible Bowl was in season, I usually had practice one evening a week with competitions every few Saturdays. Sometimes there were fellowship nights at restaurants in town or service projects with my youth group.

Some weekends there were conferences - usually about purity or some other aspect of fundie doctrine - and I'd load up in a van with a bunch of other people and get to stay overnight in some city hotel to go to them. In the summer, I usually went to anywhere between 2 and 5 church summer camps.

And I want to be clear here that I had many deep and moving spiritual experiences while with the churches that I attended (we moved some). I have so many lovely memories of being just so intensely present with this group of people I spent the better part of my non-school time with. One very directly wound up leading to my interest in Buddhism after I left which is my core spiritual path to this day. So there was very much something real to it.

The reasons I say this is because it was my world and nothing outside of it has come even close to the social, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs it filled for me. I've now spent about half my life outside of the church and I don't think there's been a day that's gone by where I haven't missed some aspect of my life in the church.

My experiences with the trans and queer community pale in comparison to what I was getting from the church. You can't understand how incredibly fulfilling it can be if you've never experienced it.

When people look at fundies and dehumanize them - call it a cult, call people sheep, call them evil, can't imagine why any human would so who ever would must not be human - they miss that there exists in these churches a critique of our communities that is incredibly valid: our communities just kind of suck.

There exist some exceptions but like what about the rest of us? Most of our communities - and I'm talking the ones we build on and offline, not just local - they don't have much programing, people are far more lackadaisical about showing up and putting in effort, people are very reactive and treat friends as disposable, very little is spent on deeper spiritual and intellectual topics. People are deeply lonely and for good reason.

When you're asking someone to leave these churches, you're often asking them to leave places where they are getting many more of their needs met than on the outside. And that is setting aside to ongoing displays of penance that so many people online especially demand when someone finally breaks away. You're asking them to do what's right for a lot less.

And I'm not saying that's wrong - I'm saying that's incredibly hard to do and you should honor how hard and complicated that is to do by not simplifying it or dehumanizing them as people.

Let complicated things be complicated.

Let complicated people be complicated.

I'm not sure if that's anything like what you were looking for but it's where my mind was at just now so I hope it's something.

#asks #answered asks

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ceo-of-catboys · 19 days ago

Text

Tsuki

tsuki bible under cut

Profile

First Name: Tsuki (月) Surname: Kotohi (縡烺) Gender: F Age: 17 Height: 182 cm (~6 ft) Birthday: November 1st Blood Type: B- Color: Persian Indigo (#32127a) A quiet but intense prisoner. Despite claiming indifference to the situation, she seems to be seeking your approval.

Voicelines

01: “Kotohi Tsuki... I'm seventeen, and I'm in high school... That's all.” 02: “A murderer... That's right. Some people must get their hands dirty for the betterment of the world...” 03: “I don't care about what you or anyone else thinks of what I did... I know that I'm in the right.” 04: “The right reasons, the right circumstances... Yes, such things are what we use to distinguish the forgivable from the filth. I don't dislike this place.” 05: “You're the warden here, so... You agree with me, don't you? Don't you?” ■■: “The world is better off... Without people like you...”

Personality

tsuki acts tough and like she doesn't care about anyone and anything, while constantly trying her hardest and caring deeply about everything. she wants approval from others more than anything, but believes she won't get it no matter what, so she acts indifferent and braces herself for rejection before it even happens. this leads to her coming off as an asshole (because she is one). she struggles a lot with social cues, and a lot of the time just doesn't know what to say so she doesn't say anything. her love language is being weird and saying nothing. she is, however, a great listener. and because of her aforementioned hunger for approval, the moment someone is nice to her she does a 180° into people pleaser so that she doesn't lose them. she's the world's biggest enabler if you're her friend. she will deem all those who upset you bad people, and we all know what she thinks of bad people (they should all die).

Ideology

tsuki has a very black-and-white view of morality; she believes that those who enjoy causing suffering are absolute evil, but at the same time believes that it's righteous to cause suffering to those people. she claims that she herself doesn't derive pleasure from it, and only does it because it's the right thing to do, because someone has to do it. in that sense, she deems herself selfless. all of that, though, is just how she justifies her own actions to herself. the truth is, she's an angry teenager who desperately wants to lash out at the world, but she thinks she should be better than that. she's created a lady justice persona to not have to admit that, just like the bullies she hates so much, she's arbitrarily choosing a group of people that is acceptable to oppress. tsuki dislikes herself; she doesn't think she has anything going for her. she can't act properly, she can't make friends, nobody seems to like her no matter what she does. that's why she wants to feel superior, to put herself on a moral high ground. if you were to take out her righteousness, all that would be left is an angry, pathetic girl. that's why she won't admit that she's deeply flawed. that's why she can't.

Story (+ Crime)

her family is composed of herself, her parents and her twin sister, asahi. they're middle class, but the parents are very emotionally neglectful due to focusing solely on their jobs, and so asahi turned to school peers to get affection/admiration. tsuki has undiagnosed autism which lead to her getting bullied and asahi used that to get in with the popular girls, telling them things about tsuki, some false some true, and making fun of her relentlessly. the bullying only got worse as they got older. even at home, the two of them barely talked, and when they did it was for the sake of their parents; truthfully, asahi never hated tsuki, and felt incredibly guilty for the way she treated her, but her desire for popularity was stronger. tsuki, though, absolutely despised asahi and everyone she associated with. on one night where their parents were out, asahi invited two of her closest friends and classmates over for a sleepover. tsuki spent most of the time hiding from them locked in her room, and late at night after it had gone quiet she ventured out and found them asleep in the living room. at this point she had been stewing for a while hearing them laugh and have fun while she was miserable so she was out of her mind angry and killed all three of them.

Misc Info

Name Meaning

縡 (koto) - breath, life 烺 (hi) - bright (said of fire) 月 (tsuki) - moon, month 縡 can be read as "sai" and 烺 can be read as "rou"; sairou (豺狼) means wolf, rapacious person, merciless and greedy person

Links

pinterest clothes board:

playlist:

Trivia

she's an expy of haruka and kotoko with a bit of muu

if she was into milgram, her favorite characters in trial 1 would be muu and kotoko, and in trial 2 they would be amane and kotoko (she would become a muu hater)

her first person pronouns are ore (when nervous/with strangers) and jibun (when relaxed/in private)

asahi (旭) means morning sun

her assigned emoji would be either 🌙 or 🐺, and the imagery i associate with her is a black sheep in wolf's clothing

she prefers to write her name with hiragana over kanji

her mcc types would be cool/needy/crybaby

her piercings are clip-ons

her hair is choppy at the back because it was cut by bullies

#oc: tsuki #expygram

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hatchetfield-omegaverse · 14 days ago

Text

Hail Petey, Full of Grace Chapter 3

Chapter 3; The Good Shepherd

AO3 LINK

Summary:

“Who says Jerry doesn't know?”

“Come on.” He almost laughs at her weak defense. “We both know that if Boy Jerry found out that I was, in your own words, preaching to the campers he'd have me back in solitary for the rest of camp.”

They've reached the Gomorrah Cabin by now, and Pete doesn't bother waiting for her answer before going inside and plopping down onto his bed. He expects Jeri to leave him, she probably has a million things to do around camp, but she doesn't. Instead she walks in and sits on the bed beside him.

“He really does care about you, you know?” She says after a moment. Pete doesn't bother hiding the snort she illicit. “I mean it. He cares about all his campers.”

“Well he has a funny way of showing it.”

A/N: And after taking a short break for the holidays we are back! This was originally going to be just one chapter, but I went feral and wrote 17k words, so I decided to break it into two chapters for an easier reading experience. I hope you'll enjoy!

Ted,

It feels silly writing you this letter. Calling you would be so much easier, but of course the Jerries don't allow any phone calls unless they're for ‘an actual emergency’. I don't know how calling my brother could increase the urge to masturbate but they're pretty insistent that it would, so we're stuck writing letters. Steph keeps joking that it makes her feel Amish.

The baby is doing well so far, Steph and I've started calling them Bean until we have a name picked. They decided they want to take martial arts like their uncle, and they keep practicing on my liver. Apparently they're the size of a butternut squash now (at least that's what that book Emma got me on baby development says) but I swear they feel bigger. The morning sickness finally stopped, thank god, and now they're on a mission to get me to drink as much chocolate milk as possible. Steph says they take after me.

Camp has been okay. There were some hiccups settling in the first week, but everything seems to be settling down now. The Jerries are every bit of crazy as you said they were, especially Boy Jerry. You'd think that stick he has shoved up his ass would be counterproductive to the whole ‘abstinent for life thing’, but I doubt he'll remove it anytime soon.

Girl Jeri is slightly better, I suppose. She just pities me I think, which is better than acting like my very existence is offensive. And she lets me skip any camp activities that are too physical for someone in my condition so that's a plus.

The rest of the campers are nice at least. Alice is at camp this year- I guess her mom decided to send her cause she kept sneaking out- so I know two people here. Well, three if you count Grace Chasity. She's in her element at camp, since she's probably the only person who genuinely enjoys the whole abstinence thing. I thought she was a lot before, but her antics at school have nothing on the stunts she's pulled at camp.

She's gotten really overbearing excited to help with the pregnancy too. She's already claimed herself as the baby's godmother. I can't even tell you how many Bible stories she's read to Bean. At least she's friendly though. I'd rather have Grace as a friend than an enemy.

She's also really worried about Bean being born out of wedlock, so much so that she's convinced the Jerries to hold a wedding for Steph and I during parents weekend. She's sending out invites to all the parents as I write this, so I'm sure your invitation will get there shortly. Honestly we almost said no to the wedding, but the look on Boy Jerry's face when he realized he'd have to let us share a cabin convinced us. Besides, I already know I want to spend my life with Steph, so it's not that crazy.

I can't wait to see you at parents weekend. There's so much I want to tell you, but its better if we speak in person. I lov I'll be glad to see you again. And even gladder to come home with Bean and Steph. See you in two weeks.

-Peter Spankoffski

“Last call for mail!”

Pete jumps at the sound and hurriedly stuffs his letter into an envelope, placing one of the camp's custom Camp Idontwannabang stamps (complete with a cross and dove) in the corner before rushing to the main building where a line of campers is already forming. He groans at the sight, knowing Bean is going to Hate™ waiting in that line just to mail a letter.

Still, there's nothing he can do about it: his letter needs to get mailed this week so he can tell Ted about the wedding before the invitation comes. So, already dreading the ache in his back this will cause, Pete gets in the back of the line. Well he tries to at least. But, just as he's gotten in the line, Grace comes running to the building holding a sack, a literal sack, of letters.

“Make way, I need to mail these wedding invitations. We don't want any of our parents not to have a gift for the parents of Christ, do we?” She says, elbowing her way to the front of the line. The other campers, to Pete's shock, let her cut past them without a single complaint. Then again, he supposed it wasn't that shocking that they'd let her do that. It was becoming very clear that Grace Chastity held all the real power at Camp Idontwannabang.

“Pete!” She spots him and runs over. “Why are you waiting in line?”

“I want to mail a letter?” He states, as if it isn't obvious. “To my brother, just to tell him about the wedding.”

Grace sighs, shaking her head at him as if he was dumb. Then, in a swift motion, she's adjusted her sack and grabbing his hand. “You still don't have to wait in the line.” She says as she pulls him forward, “You're carrying the Messiah, you go first.”

“Grace I don't think that's a go-”

“It's fine. Look, you said that the baby gets fussy when you're stuck in long lines right?” He nods at the question. “Then this is for the good of the baby. Now come on. Okay everybody, out of the way, mother- sorry- father of christ coming through.”

They're at the front of the line before Pete can say another word. “Here we go. I made one for everyone on your list, and all the parents coming to camp.” Grace says as she places the sack on the table. Then she reaches into a pocket and pulls out a baby blue envelope. “And this is for my parents. They'll be so excited for you.”

Boy Jerry looks at the pile and grimaces. “Don't you think that's a lot of invitations Grace? I doubt every parent needs to know about the wedding, they're visiting to check on their children after all.”

“Pardon my French Jerry but pish posh applesauce. Who wouldn't want the opportunity to see the parents of Christ get married? It's historic. Why, if I thought it was a good idea, I'd contact the news so they could televise it.”

Pete pales at the mention of the news. The last thing he needed was Day Reynolds and Donna Daggit reporting on his wedding. “Please don't contact the news, Grace.” He blurts.

“You don't want the news here, Peter?” Boy Jerry turns on him, his ever present smile turning almost predatory. “Why on Earth not? Don't you want people to know you're carrying Christ, S-man?”

“I…”, Pete swallows, trying to come up with an answer. Fuck, he should have just kept his mouth shut.

“It's for their safety, Jerry.” Grace cuts in before Pete can come up with an excuse. “Look at how King Herod pursued Jesus. And now the world is so much more connected than it was when Jesus was born. Imagine how many awful people would try to hurt the little Messiah if they found out now. So it's safer if Peter pretends he's having a regular baby, isn't that right Peter?”

“Yeah.” Pete nods, ever thankful for Grace's ability to use the Bible to justify anything. Really, it should concern him how good she is at that, but that's a problem for another day. “I want Bean to have a normal childhood, not one where they're hunted by strangers for being the second coming.”

“Exactly. I didn't even put that on the invitations.” Grace nods. Pete quietly thanks whatever god is listening that she left that off the invitations. God knows what Ted would say if he saw that . It's better if only certain people know for now.”

“Then why, if I might ask,” Jerry starts through gritted teeth, “did you tell everyone at camp? That's a lot of people to trust with your secret.”

“Well this is a godly camp, isn't it?” Pete counters, thinking on his feet. “I knew that none of you would want to see my baby hurt. Especially you, Boy Jerry. I mean, what kind of godly man would want to see a baby harmed? Let alone a baby that's the Messiah.”

Jerry nods in response, looking like he sucked on a lemon. Pete has to stop himself from laughing as he puts his envelope in the mail bag. “There we go, I wanted to personally invite my brother to the wedding.”

“Right.” Jerry nods, the vein in his head bulging. “Well if that's all you should get back to your afternoon activities.”

“Of course.” Grace says, voice as chipper as always, and drags Pete away. “See you at the evening sermon Boy Jerry!”

Pete waits until they're just out of earshot before breaking down into laughter. “Did you see his face?” He says between bouts of laughing. “I thought his head was going to explode when you mentioned King Herod.”

Grace watches for a minute before she's infected with his laughter, tears welling up in her eyes and clutching her sides from the force of it. They stand there like that for a moment, laughing in the middle of the Witchwood like a couple of fools. Pete's sure that anyone who saw them would think they were insane, but he honestly can't bring himself to stop.

“Thank you.” He says when he's finally able to stop laughing. “For defending me all these times. You've been a good friend, Grace.” The most shocking part is that he means it. Prior to camp he never would have considered Grace Chasity a friend, she was an acquaintance at best, but now?

She'd stuck her neck out for him multiple times now, gone to solitary for him (a fate that Grace clearly considered worse than prison). Even now, with the Jerries too afraid of another mutiny to actually punish him, Grace protected him every time Boy Jerry so much as implied that he was lying.

That had to make them friends right? Even if it was all based on a lie.

“Of course, Peter. I can't let Boy Jerry besmirch your or the baby's reputation.” Grace shakes her head. She goes quiet for a moment. Then, so softly Pete almost doesn't hear her, she speaks. “You know, I've known the Jerries my whole life. I looked up to them for staying abstinent as adults despite the pressure from society. Boy Jerry was the one who taught me that I need to control how I behave so others don't have lustful thoughts. But what they did: calling you a liar, locking you up, denying your baby as their savior. I can't believe that they would do that. I never thought of them as Pharisees.”

“Well,” he swallows, looking for something to comfort her with, “they might come around. People didn't believe Jesus at first, did they? He had to prove himself as the savior before he gained followers.” He says hoping his (poor) knowledge of the Bible won't fail him.

“I guess you're right. It's just disappointing.” Grace maneuvers around his bump to hug Pete. He returns the gesture, clearly she needs the comfort. “Thank you for showing me the truth. I'm glad God picked you to bring Christ back to Earth.”

“You're welcome, Grace.” He says, thankful she can't see his wince at the lie.

Part of him wants to move on, to change the subject to something less uncomfortable, but the sound of her saying, ‘ control how I behave’ keeps playing on his head on repeat. Grace had been taught that since she was a kid. All the campers here had been taught that. It was no wonder she was like that .

Pete's parents, Anna and Buster Spankoffski, had died before they'd gotten to have the talk with him, but they'd always made sure that he knew that no meant no. And Ted… Ted had stressed the importance of consent from the moment he'd adopted Pete, in his own Ted way of course. He could still remember the talks. ‘ Okay Petey, if anyone ever touches you and you don't want that, you knee them right in the dick. Understood?’

Grace never learned any of that from the church. But maybe that could change. She certainly trusted him, and the others trusted Grace. Pete's not sure what to say to her, but he knows he can't let this slide, not when he might have the power to change it. So, before he's even realized what he's doing, Pete opens his mouth and-

“Grace? You know that stuff Boy Jerry told you about controlling how you behave is wrong, right?”

Grace stares at him like he's grown a second head. “No, it's true. If I act like a harlot I’ll lead men to sin. I’d be no better than Lilith.”

“But that's not true. It's their job to control how they react.” Pete thinks back to all the Bible stories she'd told him so far, looking for any evidence. He's not as good as Grace at twisting the Bible to suit his needs though, so he comes up empty. “Doesn't Jesus say to pluck your eyes out if they cause you to sin?”

Grace nods. “Yea in, Matthew 5:29.”

“There you go then! Even Jesus doesn't think that. If someone looks at you with lust, that's not your fault, it's theirs.”

“But the Jerries are pastors. Why would they get that wrong?”

“They think I'm lying don't they? Maybe they're wrong about other things.”

Grace blinks once. Then twice. Pete can almost see the gears turning in your head. “You're sure?”

Pete nods. Time to go in for the kill. “God picked me to carry the Messiah right? That must count for something.”

“I guess you're right.” Grace nods. Then she goes silent and stays that way as they walk. Pete is just beginning to question if he's done something wrong when she finally speaks again. “I need to go back to my cabin. I'll see you later, Peter.”

Then, without another word, she's gone. Pete sighs as he watches her walk away. He watches her until she reaches her cabin, disappearing from sight. It's only when she's gone does turn and heads towards the lake, hoping he can find Steph. He can only hope he did the right thing.

It isn't until after dinner that Pete sees her again: the evening sermon has just ended, Boy Jerry having spent it warning the camp of the danger of deceivers. He'd pivoted away from his usual talks on the importance of abstinence as of late, instead choosing to focus on false prophets. He's never too direct of course, not wanting to incur Grace's wrath once more, but it's still obvious who Jerry means when he speaks.

Pete, for his part, is picking and choosing his battles and this isn't worth the effort. Besides, it's funnier watching Jerry fume when he doesn't react. So he pretends not to notice how Jerry looks at him every time he mentions snakes in the grass, or how every day less and less people are paying attention.

Luckily, it was the last sermon of the day, and Pete can spend the rest of the evening enjoying himself. So he's with Steph, sitting under an old oak tree, coming up with baby names.

“I'm not naming our child Eleanor, Pete.” Or well, trying to come up with names. They'd mostly been shooting down suggestions. Not that Pete was complaining, of course. He was just happy to spend some time with her.

“What's wrong with Eleanor? It means shining light, which is pretty and we can call her Ellie for short. And she can have Eleanor Roosevelt as a role model.”

Steph snorts. “So, you don't think I'm enough of a role model, is that what you're saying?”

Pete blanches. “No, I didn't mean that at all. I just meant-”

Steph presses her lips to his in a quick kiss, effectively stopping all thoughts. She pulls away, giggling, and shoves his shoulder playfully. “Dude, I'm just messing with you.”

He sighs in relief. “Oh thank god. I don't want you to think that I think you're a bad role model or something. You're amazing. It's just good to have multiple role models, you know?”

Steph smiles at him. “You're such a nerd, Spankoffski.” She says in lieu of an answer.

Pete can't help but laugh at that. “Maybe. But I'm your nerd.” He retorts.

“Damn right, you're mine.” She says with such ferocity that Pete has to look away to keep from blushing. Honestly it was rude of her, teasing him like that in abstinence camp of all places. Especially when she knows how his hormones have been lately.

“Okay. Back to names before I do something that gets me thrown in solitary again.” He says, trying to think of anything to cool his racing heartbeat down. Eventually he settles on Boy Jerry naked, and that seems to do it.

Steph laughs again. “Fine, but I swear once we're married…” She doesn't finish her sentence and Pete can only imagine the things she has planned. “What about Alexis?”

“Ehh, it's okay. I like Alexandria better though.” He says then, after checking that the coast is clear, lays his head on her lap. The counselors had been more lenient about letting them be alone since their engagement, but Pete doubts they'd let something like this slide. He already knows they'd consider his head way too close to her crotch.

“We can put it in the maybe list for now.” Steph says, reaching down to pet his hair. Pete sighs at the touch: Steph had always been a fan of resting her head in his lap and letting him play with her hair. Of course, she hadn't been able to do that since he'd started showing, the bump taking up too much room on his lap for her to feel comfortable. Never one to give up, she'd taken to reversing their roles, pulling his head into her lap and playing with his hair instead. He'd been against before, feeling awkward with that level of intimacy, but the first touch of her hands against his scalp. Her touch always seemed to relax him, his stress melting away under her careful ministrations until all that was left was them. Pete definitely understood why Steph loved it so much.

“What about Amelia?” He asks, closing his eyes. He could definitely fall asleep like this if he wasn't careful.

“I like Amelia but I feel like everyone would call her Mia, which I don't like.”

“Fair.” Pete says. “Remind me again why we need a girl's name again? I'm positive we're having a boy.”

“Because the doctor couldn't tell us for certain, remember?”

“Oh, right.” He'd gone in for one last appointment the week before camp, knowing that he wouldn't be able to make any more appointments over the summer. After giving him plenty of pamphlets on the signs of pre-eclampsia and making him promise to call if he felt the slightest big off, the OBGYN had given him one last sonogram in hopes of finding out the gender. It was all for naught though: Bean had kept their legs fully crossed the entire appointment, and no amount of coaxing could convince them to move. Eventually Pete had resigned himself to not knowing, but every fiber of his being screamed that he was having a boy.

“Besides, with our luck we'll plan for a boy and have a girl. It's better to be prepared.”

“Alright, alright, I concede. You're right.” Pete snorts. He wants to say more but before he can, his attention is caught by the large group coming towards him. “What the hell?” He mumbles as he sits up.

There's at least 10 people in the group, all girls, probably 12-17 if Pete had to guess, but that's not what catches his attention. No, instead it's Grace who catches his attention, leading the group with her Bible pressed firmly to her chest. She walks right Pete, the rest of the group stopping a few feet away, and looks him dead in the eye before speaking. “Tell them what you told me earlier.”

“What?” Steph asks.

“Tell them what you told me earlier.” She repeats herself. “About plucking your eyes out.”

Pete winces. Fuck. He pushed it too far and Grace realized he's a fraud. She's going to denounce him in front of everyone and he's going back to solitary for the reminder of camp. “Grace-”

“Please.” She cuts him off. Pete wants to tell her to forget it, but then he looks Grace in the eye and sees it. She's not staring at him in anger, or hurt, or betrayal. No, she's looking at him in desperation. “They want to know.”

“Okay.” He swallows. “Well Jesus said to pluck your eyes out if it'll prevent you from sinning. So that means that it's not your fault if someone looks at you in lust.”

“But Boy Jerry says that we'll tempt the guys if we're not careful. That’s why we have to wear swimsuits in the bathroom.” One of the younger girls, Pete thinks her name is Rachel, says in confusion.

“If looking at you tempts them then that's something they need to deal with. You just focus on yourself.”

“So our job is just to focus on our own path of abstinence? Not theirs?” Another girl asks.

“Yeah. Something like that.” He nods.

“I told you.” Grace says, turning towards the group. “Peter is being blessed with the teachings of the baby savior. We need to listen to him.”

He blinks. “I don't know if I would say blessed.” He tries to explain.

“But you are blessed.” Grace insists. “The baby must be communicating with you in the womb so you can teach us their wisdom. Oh Peter, you're so lucky to have such a holy experience.”

Steph looks at him in confusion but Pete just nods at her to just go with it. The last thing they need is to get caught in a lie.

“I guess I am lucky. Okay then,” he gestures for the others to sit, “what do you want to know?”

There's a barrage of voices speaking all at once, some louder than the others. “Girls!” Grace shouts, watching as they all quiet at her command. “One at a time please.”

There's a raise of hands and Pete eventually settles on one. She's one of the younger girls, wearing yellow overalls over her pink camp shirt and flowers braided into her hair. She speaks in a soft voice, body trembling as she does. “I started bleeding today. From down there.” She points at her legs. “But I'm not hurt. Is that the devil trying to punish me?”

“Oh sweetie, no.” His heart aches at the fear in her voice. “That's not the devil. That's just your period.”

“What's a period?” She asks.

Pete blinks. Surely she was old enough to get the talk. Why wouldn't her parents teach her what a period was. God, it was probably another purity thing. He bristles at the realization. Those assholes.

“Well it's a sign you're growing up. When you get old enough you have periods to tell you that you can have babies. And once a month, you'll have a period to tell you that you're not pregnant.”

She gasps. “But I don't want to have a baby yet.”

“It's okay. You won't have any until you're married.” Pete says hurriedly, hoping it'll reassure her. “There's a lot to it and I can explain more later, but why don't you go with Grace to get cleaned up and get a pad to absorb the blood, okay?”

She nods and Grace stands up, taking her back to the cabins. Pete waits for them to leave before turning back to the group. “Okay who's next.”

He spends the next two hours answering question after question. Most of them are puberty related, their parents too scared of tainting their purity to actually teach them about their bodies. Some are about relationships, and Pete is sure to emphasize that they can love (or not love) whoever they want. From what he's seen the church is accepting of gay relationships, but he's not risking it. He doesn't actually mention the topic of abstinence, not wanting to poke that wasp's nest quite yet. Maybe one day he'll tell them that having premarital sex isn't evil, when they trust him more. But today is not that day.

The girls soak up what he says like sponges, he even sees some of them taking notes. They're clearly desperate for a role model that isn't Boy Jerry and Pete is happy to provide that, even if he's not sure if he's a good one. He cares about actually educating them though, and that's more than he can't say about Jerry.

The group only breaks when they're called to head back to their cabins for the night. “Can we ask your more questions tomorrow Peter?” Another girl, Sarah asks.

He nods. “Of course. Same time, same place.” He looks at the group when it hits him. “And don't tell the Jerries about this okay? We've seen that they don't believe the way we do.”

They nod and, satisfied that they won't get in trouble for daring to ask questions, Pete sends them on their way. Eventually, it's just him and Steph again under the tree. “Sorry about that.” He apologizes with a smile. “I didn't mean for our evening to get interrupted.”

“It's fine. You were spreading your teachings to the masses.” Steph snorts. She stands up, offering a hand to him to do the same. “Let me walk you back to your cabin?”

“Of course.” He says, taking her hand. They make their way back to the Gomorrah Cabin slowly, neither in any hurry to end their night together. “Thank you for rolling with it. For a second I thought Grace was going to say I was lying.”

“She's definitely a true believer.” Steph says with a grin. “Which is good for us.”

“Yeah. I can't believe one joke turned into all this.”

“It's a lot.” Steph sighs. “But it keeps you safe so I don't care. I hated seeing that dick try to humiliate you.”

“I knew he would do it. But it's nice being untouchable.”

“It is. And you were pretty good back there. You could start your own religion if you wanted to.” Steph smirks.

He laughs at the joke. “Think it's a little late for that. Petei-ism seems to be getting popular. Maybe we can buy a church.”

“Good idea. You can't tax churches.” They both break out in laughter at that. “I mean it though. You're good with kids.”

“I'd hope so, I don't think Bean is going wait for us to become good with kids to be born.” He reaches out to hold her hand.

“Probably not.” She shrugs. “But you're better than all of their parents at least.”

“I can't believe anyone could teach their child that.” Pete groans. “That little girl had no idea what a period is. She thought that she was being punished! Punished!”

“It's awful.” Steph agrees.

“As long as Bean doesn't end up like that I will consider it a success.” Pete stops as the Gomorrah Cabin comes into view. It's a completely different sight than when he'd arrived. Girl Jeri had taken it upon herself to do small repairs that the cabin needed: she's replaced the wobbly steps, oiled the creaky door, and even painted the spots where the paint was chipped or peeling. It almost looked like a normal cabin, save for the sign with Gomorrah painted on it in big letters.

“Here we are.” Steph sighed as they walked to the door. “Your cabin.”

“It'll be our cabin soon.” He smiles. “I've already pushed the beds together.”

“Our cabin.” Steph repeats with a smile. “I can't wait.”

“Did you tell your dad?” Pete asks. He can't imagine Solomon being supportive of the wedding, judging by his reaction to Bean's existence.

“No. I'm just going to let Grace's invitation tell him, he'll take it better from someone else. And I really don't care. We're only in this position because of his stupid campaign and if he doesn't like it then tough shit.”

Pete laughs at her blunt words, falling more in love with her as she speaks. “Fair enough. I told Ted. He'll freak out and think we're being pressured if I don't say something.”

“At least he's supportive.” Steph sighs. “I hate my dad for doing this to you.”

“He's not doing anything to me. I'm here willingly.” Pete promises

Steph gives him a look. “We both know you wouldn't be here if he hadn't forced me to go.”

“Maybe.” Pete shrugs. “That doesn't matter though.”

“I still hate him.”

“I know.” Pete sighs. “You know, we'll be married. You could always move in with me and Ted after camp.”

“I could. And it would be good for Bean.” Steph smiles at the idea. “You sure you won't get sick of me?”

“Positive.” He smiles. A single firefly flies between them and, soon enough, there's an entire swarm of them around the cabin, illuminating the night as they dance around them. It looks like something from a romcom. Getting an idea, Pete pulls her as close as physically possible before pressing a kiss to her lips. It's one of the few they've shared since arriving at camp, and he's sure to pour all his love for her into it, knowing he probably won't get another chance to kiss her until their wedding.

“Good.” Steph breathes when they finally pull apart. Pete can't help but smile at how breathless he's left her, knowing he feels the exact same. “You know, I'm liking this marriage thing more and more everyday. I'm kinda glad Grace suggested it.”

“So am I.” Pete nods. He turns to open his cabin then pauses, a thought hitting him. “What about Grace? For a girl.”

There's a beat of silence before they both exclaim, “Absolutely not!”, simultaneously. Pete laughs at their syncing before continuing. “You're right. It's a bad idea.”

“It is.” Steph says. “Can you imagine what she'd do if she thought we were naming the ‘second coming of Christ’ after her? It would go to her head.”

“You're right.” Pete smiles. It isn't until a counselor orders Steph to go to her cabin that they exchange goodnights, and it's not until he sees her safely go in her cabin that Pete goes inside his own. He smiles as he shuts the door. This wedding was the best thing to ever happen to him.

“Oh Peter! Not like that!” Grace scolds as she takes his latest flower from him. “You need to fold it like this, that way they seams aren't visible.”

Or maybe the wedding would be the death of him.

With Parents Weekend fast approaching, preparations for the wedding had gone into full swing. Grace had taken over most of it, and Pete was more than happy to give her control. So for the most part, Grace had made all the decisions, only occasionally asking him or Steph for their input. So far she'd planned the food, music, and even seating arrangements without any problems. It was when it came to decorations that they hit a snafu: Grace wanted the wedding to have real decorations, the kind that they didn't have access to while at camp. She'd agonized over it for days before Pete, taking pity, suggested that they reuse what was available at camp. Grace had taken to the idea like a house on fire: lanterns were made into centerpieces, the baskets they wove filled with wedding programs she'd managed to print out. She even wanted to use the wallets they made as wedding favors.

The only thing missing was flowers. Pete was fine doing without and he knew Steph felt the same, but Grace was determined to give this wedding flowers. She'd already found several patches of wildflowers around the forest and was monitoring them to ensure they would be perfect for the big day. Still, it wasn't enough for Grace. She was just short of trying to smuggle in a florist when Girl Jeri had an idea.

She showed all the girls (and Pete) how to make flowers out of tissue paper and string them into garland. Grace had loved the idea and immediately roped everyone into making them with her. “Many hands make light work.” She'd stated at the time.

Which is how he ended up here: in an assembly line making tissue paper flowers. He and Steph made flower after flower while Grace strung them into the garlands. It was fine at first. The flowers were easy enough to make and between all the volunteers he didn't have to make that many flowers. He thought it would be fine. Of course he forgot one thing.

Grace Chastity has control issues.

Pete has to bite his tongue to keep from groaning as she demonstrates how to correctly fold the flower. It was at least the tenth time she'd done something like this, despite the fact that the flowers looked exactly the same no matter which way you folded them. He wonders briefly if she's always had such bad control issues, or if her newfound power at camp had brought them to light, before she hands him the ‘fixed’ flower with a saccharine smile.

“See? Doesn't it look so much better this way?”

“Yeah, Grace. It really does.” Pete deadpans. “I'll be sure to fold them that way from now on.”

“Good! Your wedding has to be perfect.” She claps her hands together in excitement at the thought. The action is enough to make Steph snort, her dark eyes twinkling as she shoots Pete a bemused smile. His lips stretch to match instantly. “Now where was I?”

She turns back towards her Bible and begins reading again. She did this a lot lately: picking a story about Jesus’ life as they worked and reading it aloud for Steph and Pete (not that either of them ever really listened). Apparently she wanted to make them experts in the Bible before Pete gave birth, that way she could teach the baby their purpose. He had no intentions of forcing religion on any of his future children, but Pete figured it was easier to just let Grace read than argue with her about it.

Today's story was about Mary and Joseph losing Jesus while traveling and finding him at a temple in a discussion with religious scholars. “Even as a child Jesus knew that he was holy!” Grace had said when she'd picked out the story. She seemed to think it was a good thing, yet all Pete could think about was Mary. How'd she'd spent three days searching for her son before she'd found him. Three days where she didn't know if her child was safe. The mere idea turns his blood to ice. It isn't until he feels a hard kick against his ribs that Pete remembers his baby is safe inside him. He's never been more grateful for bruised ribs.

“MAIL CALL!” A voice on the announcement speakers cuts Grace off in her story, and Pete can't help but feel grateful at the distraction.

“Oooh! Mommy said she was sending a care package this week!” Grace jumps up into a standing posting, almost running to the door. Steph wasn't far behind. Pete however, takes considerably longer getting up- you try jumping to your feet when you're 7 months pregnant- and by the time they've made it to the door he's only to his knees.

“W-wait up!” He calls weakly after them. “You know, some of us are making a human here!”

“Oh shit!” Steph rushes back to him, placing her hands around his waist. “Here, lean on me.”

Eventually, with her help, Pete's able to struggle to his feet. “Thanks,” he pants once he's properly standing, “I swear it gets harder every time I do that.”

He adjusts his shirt and watches out the corner of his eye as Steph worries her bottom lip with her teeth. It's honestly adorable and if Grace weren’t watching he would kiss her. “Probably because the baby knows you should be resting. You should go back to your bunk, I'll get any mail you have.”

“Are you sure?”

She nods and places a hand on his bump. “I can carry an extra package. Besides, I promised your brother I'd take care of you.”

“Ok ok, I'll go rest. But I promise I'm fine. It's just getting harder to move now that I'm showing like this.” Pete promises. In lieu of a kiss, Pete chooses to tuck a lock of Steph's hair behind her ear. “See you soon?”

“I'll be as fast as I can.”

The walk back to his cabin is one of the first times Pete's been alone since his release from solitary, everyone being too busy reading letters from their parents to focus on him. He's glad for the silence it provides, it's like he can hear himself think for the first time in so long. Ever the introvert, Pete had always enjoyed his alone time, and it was something that he'd missed while at camp. Whether it be a sermon, concerts, camp activities, or answering questions for the other campers, Pete was always surrounded by other people these days. It was nice to just listen to the uninterrupted sounds of nature: the wind blowing, the birds chirping, and-

“Peter!”

And the call of an overly perky camp counselor.

He groans as Girl Jeri walks up to him, her ever present sunshiny smile plastered to her face. She's holding a checklist in her hand, probably some kind of itinerary but Pete honestly doesn't care enough to ask.

“Mail's here.” She says. “Aren't you going to see if you got anything?”

“Steph said she'd check for me. I was going to rest in my cabin. After all, it's hard work carrying the Messiah.” Pete answers, making sure to really drive home that last bit. Can't let her think he was lying about it being immaculate (he totally was).

Jeri nods. “Right. I suppose that makes sense. Can I walk you to your cabin?”

Every part of Pete wants to say no, but he just nods instead. Better to stay in her good graces for now. “Okay. If you're not busy.” He says, praying she'll back out.

She doesn't, and next thing Pete knows he's walking with Girl Jeri, neither of them saying a word. Pete's once beloved silence now thick heavy between them. He desperately searches for any shred of a conversation, but it's all in vain. All he can do is hope that she'll say something to break the tension between them.

His hopes are answered when she turns to him. “How has the pregnancy been treating you?” She asks. Pete winces. Not a conversation he particularly wants to have with Girl Jeri but beggars be choosers.

“It's been okay. The morning sickness was pretty bad at first, but that calmed down before camp started.”

Jeri nods, never making eye contact with him. “That's good to hear. And the baby? They seem healthy?”

“Oh, yeah.” He nods, not wanting to divulge any more information than he has to. Like hell he would willingly tell one of the Jerries about Bean. Even if Girl Jeri wasn't as extreme. “They're really active.”

“Good. That's a good sign that they're healthy.” She smiles again, that cloyingly sweet, fake smile that drives Pete insane. It was dangerous, like when Boy Jerry smiled at him, but it was just so vacant of any real emotion. It reminds him of his mom showing him ‘The Stepford Wives’ for the first time: all those poor women turned into robots, fake smiles on their faces to hide their real emotions. And yet this time it's different. Pete swears for just a millisecond he can see something that looks like longing in Girl Jeri's eyes. Then, just as quickly as it came, it's gone and that overly perky expression is back. “You know, I've heard from one of the counselors that you've been tutoring some of the other campers in religion, is that so?”

Some of the campers was putting it lightly. He'd continued to have talks with the others every night since that first night, answering whatever questions they had about puberty and the like, and every night their numbers had grown. It had started with just girls attending, but soon enough the guys had joined them. Now they had a pretty mixed group of 20 or so campers, and Pete was sure that there would be more tonight.

Pete sighs, having known this talk was coming for a while. Truthfully, he's shocked it took this long for it to come out. Sure he told his group to keep their meetings a secret from the Jerries, but with their numbers it had to be hard to miss. If anything, he's glad that it's Girl Jeri who found out first. Boy Jerry would probably call it mutiny if he knew.

“I've been talking to some of the campers, yes.” He answers carefully. The last thing he needs is for the rest of camp to get punished because of him. “But I don't know if I'd call it tutoring. I'm just answering questions.”

“Yes, questions that require your ‘heavenly wisdom’.” Jeri says and if not for the coy smile on her lips Pete would think he was in trouble.

“Well I am carrying the child of God, so I suppose I'm getting some kind of wisdom via osmosis. Like I said, I just answer their questions.”

“Well your answers are getting popular. You have a bright future as a pastor.” Pete can't keep the grimace off of his face at the idea of him as a pastor. This was one thing: Grace was the main force behind their movement, and if Pete went along with her ideas to survive camp, then that was nobody's business but his own.

But standing in front of a church week after week? Preaching beliefs he doesn't have based on something he knew was a lie? He couldn't imagine doing that.

Maybe that was the difference between him and Boy Jerry: Boy Jerry would do anything for control, Pete just wanted to be left alone.

“I don't want to be a pastor.” He says definitively.

Jeri blinks at him, like she never comprehended that he wouldn't want to go into religion. “Well it's still nice to see you getting along with the other campers.” She says in a chipper voice.

“Would your Co-head Pastor agree with you if he knew?” Pete can't keep the venom out of his voice as he speaks.

“Who says Jerry doesn't know?”

“He really does care about you, you know?” She says after a moment. Pete doesn't bother hiding the snort she illicit. “I mean it. He cares about all his campers.”

“Well he has a funny way of showing it.” He lies back on the bed.

“Peter, he's just trying to look out for everyone.”

Pete sits back upright at her words, albeit with a bit of a struggle. “Look out for everyone? From the moment I came here, Jerry has been on a mission to humiliate me. How on Earth is that looking out for everyone?”

“Well you haven't made it easy on him, claiming that you're having the second coming of Christ.”

“Who says I'm not?” Pete retorts, unwilling to drop the charade for even a second.

“Peter-”

“And none of this would have ever come about if he hadn't tried to label me as a whore to the entire camp!” Pete says in frustration. “Do you know how humiliating that is?”

At his words Jeri goes still, staring at him with an expression that Pete can't read. Tears well in her eyes, and he's sure he's pushed it too far. It’s only for a moment though but then she schools her features. Then she blinks them away and speaks once more.

“I know his methods might seem strange but he just wants to keep everyone safe and on the path of the Lord.” Jeri answers, her voice strangely calm.

“And looking at a teen that you think made a mistake and making an example out of them is Godly?” He can't believe what she's saying. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Jesus all about forgiving sinners? That doesn't seem very forgiving to me.”

“He just wanted to show that there are real world consequences to having sex. There are benefits to being abstinent, religion aside. Aids, herpes, countless other STDs, not to mention teen pregnancy.” Pete bristles at the comment and Jeri is quick to back track. “I know you love your child, but Be honest with me. Would you have chosen to have them right before your senior year?”

“I did choose to have them right before my senior year.” Pete says, remembering the hours of talks with Steph over what they wanted to do, and then again. He knew the task he was taking on and he was doing it anyway. “I chose to carry God's child even though I'm still in high school.”

“Furthermore, he doesn't care about keeping people safe. He just wants to control them.” He stands up from the bed and starts pacing, anger rushing through his veins. “Boy Jerry, a supposed godly man, saw me and decided that I deserved to be humiliated. He tried to make me into the laughing stock of camp. And when I defended myself, he locked me in solitary for undermining his authority. I would probably still be locked up if not for Grace Chastity. There's a lot of men like that in the Bible, Girl Jeri, and I wouldn't use godly to describe any of them.”

Pete is left panting in the center of the cabin, his outburst having sapped most of his energy. Angrily, he looks to Jeri for a response, expecting her to justify the actions of her coworker. But she doesn't. She doesn't say anything. She simply stands up and walks over to Pete, placing her hand on his shoulder, and looks him dead in the eyes.

“Since we clearly can't come to an agreement, I'll leave. It's not worth stressing you or the baby.” Jeri says when she finally finally speaks. Then her gaze flits away from Pete to around the cabin, taking in its contents, before landing on the back corner of the room. “But I hope you realize how privileged you are. You get to be so brazen in your opinions because you've got a lot of support. Most people in your position aren't so lucky.” And for a moment Pete thinks she’s speaking from personal experience.

She looks back to Pete, nods, and turns for the door. But, just as she reaches the cabin's door, Jeri turns back to him once more. “I won't tell Boy Jerry about your meetings with the other campers. I think you're doing a good thing, and what he doesn't know won't hurt him.”

Then without another word she's outside, probably headed to set up for the evening bonfire, leaving Pete alone in his cabin with only one question on his mind:

What the actual fuck was her deal?

He still doesn't have an answer for said question when Steph walks in not even 10 minutes later as promised she's carrying two care packages, balanced so precariously that Pete has to get the door for her so she doesn't fall.

“Jesus, I swear your brother packed an actual elephant in here or something.” She jokes once she's sat the packages on the bed with a dramatic sigh. “It weighs twice as much as whatever my dad sent me, lucky.”

Pete wants to joke back, and wants to say that it's fine because Solomon Lauter probably wouldn't know what was interesting to teens if it hit him in the head. But his brain is still stuck on his conversation with Girl Jeri, so he doesn't respond, only staring at the spot in the corner where the counselor had kept looking.

“If there's any candy in there you better share it with me.” Steph jokes as she sits down beside him, kissing his cheek as she does so. It's only then that she notices his demeanor, frowning as she squeezes his hand. “Hey, what's wrong? Are you in pain? Is it the baby? Should we call a doctor? It's too soon for you to go into labor yet right?”

She's starting to panic now, placing her hands on his cheeks as if to check for a fever. The motion is enough to startle Pete from his trance. “Sorry I spaced out there.”

Steph sighs in relief “Jesus Christ you scared me. I thought something was wrong with Bean.”

“Sorry.” Pete mumbles. He hadn't wanted to worry her. Not when she's so on edge already.

“It's fine, Pete.” Steph promises. “What's wrong?”

“It's nothing.”

Steph raises an eyebrow and Pete can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. He's never been good at keeping secrets from her. Especially not since he realized he was pregnant. “You're a shitty liar, Spankoffski, you know that right? You were spaced out for like a solid 5 minutes. So spill. What's on your mind?”

“I don't want to worry you.” She's bound to freak out if she knows that he fought with Girl Jeri of all people. Everything is finally calming down now. The last thing he needs is to worry Steph.

“Well not knowing is worrying me.” She deadpans. “So talk or else I'll be forced to take drastic measures.”

He gasps in mock horror. “You wouldn't dare.”

“Oh I dare.” Steph grins. “Who would have thought the father of Christ would be so ticklish.”

Her hands reach ever so slowly towards him. “Talk, or else it's tickles for you.” She just reaches the hem of his shirt when he breaks.

“Okay okay, I give in.” Pete says, raising his hands in surrender.

“Good boy.” Steph says with a shit eating grin, and if those two words were enough to make Pete blush so heavily that his ears turned red, well that's a secret he'll take to his grave. “Now, spill, before the tickle monster comes back.”

“Okay. It's jus-” Pete takes a deep breath. Time to get it over with. Just rip it off like a bandaid. “Girl Jeri stopped by for a chat.”

“Girl Jeri?” Steph repeats incredulously. Yep, Pete can already hear the anger in her voice. “Shit, did she say something to you? I swear I'll-”

“It's fine.” He cuts her off. Better to finish his thoughts before she was too upset to hear him. “She asked me about our group talks every night and then we sorta argued about Boy Jerry.”

“She argued with you? That-”

“It's not like that. She just kept trying to say he just cares about everyone, which is a fucking lie.”

“Fuck, Pete.” Steph runs a hand through her hair. “What's her problem, arguing with a teenager when she's like what? 30? And waiting til you were alone to do it? I can't believe her.”

“It's fine. We kinda agreed to disagree in the end.”

“Agreed to disagree? Seriously? She picked a fight with you and she wants to agree to disagree?”

“Technically I think I picked the fight. I just kinda snapped.”

“Well she shouldn't have continued it. She's older, she's a counselor, not to mention you're pregnant and probably hormonal.”

“That's not even what's bothering me.” Pete sighs. “It's her whole… demeanor? I guess. One minute she's this ever chipper counselor and then she'll look at me and will almost cry. I don't get it.”

“Maybe she's just horrified to see a pregnant teen.” Steph jokes.

“Maybe.” Pete sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “It's just… Boy Jerry is a total dick, but at least I know where I stand with him. I never know what I'm getting with her.”

“Hey,” Steph says, lifting his chin so he's looking her in the eye, “you've got enough to worry about without adding in the problems of a random camp counselor. Just focus on you okay?”

Pete nods. “Yeah, you're right. It's not worth it.”

“It's not.” Steph agrees. Then she adds. “But if you want me to deal with her for arguing with you I will.”

“It's fine Steph. I'm over the fight already. Everything is going good right now, let's not push it.”

She eventually nods but, judging by her white knuckled grin on her shorts, Pete can tell she's still pissed. “You're right. It's not worth jeopardizing the wedding.”

“It's not.” Pete smiles at that. The pair sit there for a moment, content to enjoy the silence and each other's company.

“Speaking of weddings,” Steph says after a minute or two. She leans over and pushes the long forgotten package towards him. “There should be a letter from Ted in here.”

“Right. Hopefully he took the news well.” Pete nods as he struggles to open the package. Stupid camp and their stupid lack of scissors. Honestly, how did they expect anyone to cut through packing tape without scissors? The least they could do is open the tape ahead of time. Then again, Pete didn't trust the Jerries not to snoop through the mail, so maybe it was a blessing that it was still shut.

“How did your Dad react?” He asks as he struggles to peel the tape.

Steph shrugs. “About as expected. ‘I'll support the marriage since having a baby out of wedlock won't be good press but this changes nothing: you are still my daughter and I still expect you to act in a manner benefiting the mayor's daughter. Do not let this damage my campaign.’” She says in a bad imitation of Solomon's voice.

Pete laughs as he finally tears the last piece of tape off. “Sounds like your dad alright.”

“Tell me about it. I swear I think he forgot that children have their own personalities when he adopted me.”

Pete doesn't respond, too busy opening his own care package to do. Inside is a variety of items: clothes, candy, and bottle of lotion, but Pete ignores all of it for the yellow CRRP branded envelope. He snorts. Just like Ted to steal stationery from work rather than buy it himself. Without hesitation, he opens the letter and reads it aloud.

Pete

Paul says I should write a list of what's in the care package for you. Personally, I think it's a dumb idea, you can clearly see what I sent but this gets him off my back. There's some bigger clothes for you, a couple of new maternity bras (don't blame me if they don't fit it was already awkward trying to buy bras for my LITTLE BROTHER), some chocolate bars, a couple of your comic books, and a bottle of vitamin E lotion (Emma says it'll help with stretch marks).

I'm glad you and the baby are both okay. I was ready to wring Jerry's stupid neck with his own cross when he said I wasn't allowed to call you. He's still as much of a chode as he was when we were teenagers, I see. If you ever want to give him hell, just ask why he never pursued his rap career further. Or don't. He'll probably make you kneel on rice or something.

I heard they placed you in one of solitary cabin for privacy. Just like your brother. I spent the whole summer you were born in that room. If you look hard enough you'll probably find some of my old porn.

I got the wedding invitation from Grace. Almost had a heart attack when I opened it. I'd say next time warn me before you get engaged, but I'm guessing you don't want there to be a next time. I'll let you off the hook though since you technically tried to warn me. I bet Jerry almost had a stroke when he realized you getting married would mean you two could share a cabin. Would have fucking loved to see that.

Everyone back home misses you. Ruth and Max stop by all the time. Hell even Emma misses you. Apparently I've become her new least favorite customer now that you're gone so thanks for that. Think I'm getting extra spit in my chai now, not that I'm complaining.

Can't wait to see you for parents weekend. You better let me walk you down the aisle you little shit. And if you want to leave early just demand to call home. I'll come pick you up.

See you soon

Ted

PS Warning: Grandma Lorie is coming to the wedding. No, I couldn't stop her. Be prepared.

A/N: Next time, on Hail Petey, Full of Grace... will Ted punch Boy Jerry in the mouth, what is going on with Girl Jeri, and who is Grandma Lorie? Tune in next chapter to find out!

Seriously though, I hope you enjoyed this! I had way too much fun writing this chapter. Special shout out to my coauthors Pizza and Spoons for keeping me sane when I realized I hated the original draft and scrapped it. And shoutout to loveluck's hatchetfield server, without it this au wouldn't exist.

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