#like it’s not even hard to just translate them literally. they’re just plain non culture-specific mandarin

[ashinaisshin]

– If the rulers of our nation were cast by the wayside, then it wouldn’t be long until chaos ensued. I had no intention of letting their dreams disrupt my life. – By that, you mean your life working as the Akademiya’s Scribe? – Precisely.

[nellynee]

Three Caballeros headcanons

classic, very gay edition

The timeline for Saludos Amigos is unclear, but it’s canon that Donald is a recognizable celebrity at this time. That being said, I put this at Donald vacationing on his first bit of real leave from the navy. His celebrity status being very new and small in the states but much larger outside of it. 

In terms of say, Ducktales, this puts his Navel career as a source of pride, Acting and performance as a passion he pursues, and the everyday jobs he tends to loose due to luck his actual income after the Navy.

Early timeline inspired by the small design changes in Jose between the two movies, making him a juvenile of his species at the time. Approximately their early twenties. 

White feathered Panchito. Twin? Tan? Or brighter juvenile feathers?

Jose will protest all day that he isn’t actually a scam artist. He simply aids tourists in finding the most entertaining of distractions and they willingly gift him in compensation. Sometimes they’re passed out when it happens.

Jose and Donald actually met as a mix of the movie and the comic. Jose was planning on making Donald his next target, but after realizing it was the REAL Donald Duck, quickly changes his mind... or rather, goes out of his way to make sure Donald has good memories at least. 

That being said, he’s never actually paid for a drink in his entire life, and certainly never plans to

Jose finds Donald enchanting. Jose, he loves Brazil, and Donald doesn’t treat his home like some exotic diversion. He immerses himself into every experience completely, and Jose finds Donald’s sense of cultural wonder flattering where it should be annoying.

Jose immediately starts to flirt with Donald and Donald just figures that’s the way the guy is??? He flirts with literally everything? 

There is one night early in the trip they don’t talk about. Donald can become a sad drunk and Jose comforted him the only way he knew how. If Jose had known they would become actual friends, he would not have done it. Both are sure the other doesn’t remember.

Of the three, Panchito is the vocals, Jose the instrumentals, and Donald the dancer.

Jose is always ready to dance the Samba with Donald 

ALWAYS

Jose ends up in Mexico when Donald heads back towards the states at the end of his vacation. His debts at the time mean it’s probably better to skip town for a while, and with Donald to pay for his meals why not?

Jose and Panchito meet like in the comics after Donald returns home (for those who don’t know, Jose attempts to seduce a woman Panchito is courting. A series of one upmanship happens, in which Jose uses empty boast and tricks to try and get rid of Panchito, and Panchito, knowing Jose is a dirty crook, attempts to rat him out. It culminates in a horse race, which Jose wins, only for the woman to have eloped at the end)

(edit: I’ve had questions about the comic I’m referring, and you can actually find said comic here. There are other interpretations as well. I’m under the impression that the famous silver hunt is a first meeting, though I’ve never actually found it in it’s entirety to make sure. I love the idea of that one, but I have my own reasons for this one.)

They HATE each other at first. Panchito, on his honor, can not allow this scoundrel to con hard working people out of their belongings and fallows Jose around the country exposing his lies. Jose can not live like this.

After several failed attempts to shake the rooster, Jose opts for his next best weapon, his charisma

He may not know the local scene like back home, but he can smell a good time from a mile away, all he has to do is figure out what Panchito wants.

Fortunately for him, Panchito is as much a party animal as Jose is. 

(It opens up the doors, but what REALLY convinces Panchito is Jose’s sense of honor. For all that he will never work, Jose does not take anything not freely given to him, be it money, possessions, women, and on one very memorable occasion, even food. Panchito, he is a sharp bird, he watches, he sees. It is the small kindnesses that convinces him to give Jose a chance)

Jose doesn’t consider Panchito anything more than a slightly more convenient annoyance until a series of adventures through the desert left him living only because of Panchito’s actions. Only then does he realize Panchito is genuine. (and oh no, what a feeling that was)

It’s a wonder how much they really have in common and get along when both of them are trying. 

Panchito prefers the wide open plains, and Jose, the bustling cities, but Panchito finds adventure wherever, and Jose learns to love it, if for no other reason than loosing track of time, keeping busy, and the rush

Panchito 100% does not believe that Jose knows THE Donald Duck.

Panchito is later 100% amazed that Jose knows THE Donald Duck

This is the Greatest day of Panchito’s life

(and the rest is history. Seriously. That whole week is one long blackout for all three of them)

That being said, the first time Donald and Jose dance the samba together (really, REALLY together. They are often dancing in the same space, spinning around each other, half formed moves to the tune for the joy of it. Once a day if Jose can get his way. But on that day the beat is quick and the drums made their blood boil) Panchito knew he was in trouble.

They spend several years traveling together. First on Donald’s dime. As money goes thin, they stay in spaces longer, living on what Panchito can work up on a few days or going out to help him with some bounty or other, hopping from stranger to stranger on the goodwill of Donald’s fame, earning money busking and gain quite the fallowing. 

They never really establish a relationship, in the monogamous sense, but they do develop a commitment to each other. They all become so openly affectionate there is no question about it in any of them. They come to love each other openly and without reservation, but they will often fight over women as well. As time goes by it goes from a real source of feuding for them to a joke and a sense of competition. 

There’s no reason for them to break up really. Donald starts to miss his family around the same time Panchito starts to feel the need for home and some roots for just a while. Jose has saved some money and is dreadfully homestick

That’s what he tells them at least. His good friends have triggered a very embarrassing urge for... domesticity (yes, I do mean he becomes hormonal. All the sunlight and good food will do that) He needs time time to himself.

This is about the time Donald gets the boys. They had never intended it to be permanent, but they had some good years, and they stay in touch.

Donald’s self esteem issues are harder to fight through the mail, but they sure do try. 

(non timeline related headcanons)

Jose prefers expensive booze, cheap cigars, and free women, in any order 

Of the three, Panchito holds his liquor best, and Donald the worst. 

Panchito and Jose just... they love how much Donald loves their mother countries so much. 

I’d put something here about how much Panchito and Jose respect Donald and think him just a wonderful person to look up to but that’s comic canon.

The first time Donald and Panchito see Jose in casual jeans and t-shirt they nearly have a heart attack

The “turning his umbrella into various musical instruments” thing is a parlor trick. He’s a parrot with a LOT of instruments in his vocal repertoire. He’s surprised no one has caught on by now.

When it comes to marriage, Donald is canonically terrified of domestic monogamy and find the idea emasculating. Jose is even less inclined, but less out of fear and more that he would prefer less to chain him down. He would be willing to marry a pretty girl for her money, but probably couldn’t be convinced to stay around. Panchito is most attracted to the idea of a stable home and a big family, but latter comes to understand he doesn’t necessarily need a wife and children with so many lovers and nephews. 

Panchito and Jose are the COOLEST uncles. 

Panchito loves children, is bombatious and rowdy, and has guns, The triplets love him.

Jose has no idea what to do with them. He defaults to his charismatic facade and comes off as cool but also he’s never allowed to watch them alone (”They are nearly grown boys Donal’ they must learn to smoke sometime!)

Daisy: “Oh Donald doesn’t dance, he’s to clumsy for that and frankly it’s like pulling teeth” Jose, ten feet away, dancing a quite passionate samba with Donald and trying to convince him to run away with him

Yes they do know other dances, but the samba, aaaah the samba, how Jose loves the Samba

Panchito will sing love songs for them to dance to as an inside joke

Everyone has all three speaking spanish as their go to middle language but from day one Jose has insisted on speaking predominately Portuguese and then translating for himself over the years in close quarters they all pick up so much listening to them in conversations must be a nightmare.

Everyone in the fandom splits the cooking but Panchito is a traveling cowboy who lives of what he hunts and buys and Jose’s house doesn’t even seem to have a kitchen and he parties every night and Donald is the canonical amazing cook. The triplets grow up on some interesting recipes. 

Panchito is openly affectionate in a platonic sense, always hugging and touching the other two, but preferred a certain degree of affection to be between only lovers unless prompted otherwise. Jose will make out in the middle of a town square if you get him worked up enough and will let him. Donald will never initiate anything but he’s just... so happy when it happens.

In the sense of TTC movie, the second and third gift in reality are plane tickets. Its the first time they’re all together in years.

Aaaaaan it’s late so that’s all I got for now. Feel free to ask any more specifics, I got a million of them!