#like is being nice to me when I'm like a sickly little victorian child really all it takes to make my ovaries explode 😭

[nobodybetterlookatme]

My mom told me the other day that it was gonna seem like I was trying to date my friend if I payed for her ticket to a show, so maybe you should try and pay for his food and that’ll indicate your intentions lol 😅

LMAO fuck maybe I could try that 😂

[elis-blawg222]

November 18 - Monday

Hallooo everyonee!

Today I was struggling to stay awake and get ready for class, I was soooo tired. But I made it on time surprisingly so that's good! My classes went fine tbhhh, and nothing too interesting happened.

When I was taking my friend home from our classes like usual, she asked me if we could get McDonald's and honestly I was just looking for some excuse for what meal I had for the day, so I was like yeah sure. I got a diet coke (she paid actually lol), and then I went home after dropping her off.

I didn't know my step mom was gonna be off work today, but I brought in my empty cup and threw it away inside so at least there's proof I went to mcdonalds. I even told her I went with my friend and 'what I got.' Then I even took 2 pieces of her blueberry lemon loaf when I was going to school and I said "I'll tell you how good it is later." I ended up just giving it to my friend at school lol, but she said it was really good. I was a bit jealous, but it's not like I can't have it when she makes it another time, or it's not like I haven't had it before. If I really want it that bad I'll even make it myself LOL like it's ltrly fine.

Thennn while I was going back to school and through my afternoon class I was otp with Angel (YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY HIHIHI HIP HIP HOORAY)

Then I went homeee and I was otp with Angel (actually I still am), and I started making a food poll which was soso funnnnn. I'm still in the process of making it, it's gonna be pretty long so it'll probly take a bit, but it gives me smth to do when I'm having bad cravings plus it's smth I enjoy so it's good ^^

I went to archery practice just when Angel was going to sleep (sad face), and practice was rlly nice. I had a good time, I'm really happy I decided to do it again this year. It feels a lot different this year than last year and idk why, but it just feels so much more enjoyable.

When I was talking with my step mom earlier in the day I made sure to slip in that I wanted to ask my friend to go eat with me after practice since we haven't talked a lot at all since last school year. And she was like oh thats a good idea. So I asked my friend and took her to mcdonalds LOLLL and I just basically got her food and we talked for a bit before I took her home.

When I went home I just told my moms I got whatever my friend had actually gotten. Then my mom saw me drinking a monster and was like "less monsters and more calories"

um... excuse me..

And I was like "I literally don't know what you want from me I had 2 meals today, 2 mcdonalds"

and I did a funny/weird voice with it but likeee... I was being fr... (not rlly bc I was lying but you get the point)

And she was just like good or smth idk. also she like

pat my stomach....

...

dont do that.

ANDWHY DID MY DAD DO IT YESTERDAY NIGHT TOO. YOU GUYS. YALL ARE WEIRD STOP IT PLS.

And he omgg... guys. LMAO he was saying smth and was like "did you eat" or smth and I said yes, bc I did,,,, ltrly binged. And he was trying to get me to eat a tamale?? and I was like No I'm full I just ate so much

And he was like idk he made a face like he didn't believe me or smth and then he was like "You have to take her to the doctor" WHAT LMFAO HE SAID THAT BC I HAVENT BEEN EATING OR SMTH HE SAID LIKE THAT. BITCH I JUST ATE A PHAT PLATE AND 2 FUCKING CUPCAKES ECT ECT..

WHAT THE FUDSHVIGORJLGVAOG

anyways..

sobs. LMFAO

I'm 28 hours into my fast, I feel ltrly fine which is kindaaa.. invalidating? if I'm not on the verge of death feeling like a sickly little Victorian child when I'm fasting then I don't want it and obviously that means I'm not fucking starving enough and need to die-

OMG ALSO I FORGOTTT. this morning me and my step mom were talking right, and she was like "Eli, I just wanted to say I'm proud of you for going on your little health journey. It takes a lot of discipline that a lot of people don't have and they can't do it." "It takes a lot of discipline to not eat the food I put on the table." omg... guys. this was like... omg idk it just felt so good.

I'm watching coco rn (such a comfort movie <3), gonna go do some duolingo lessons

Total Cals: 0

Total Steps: 4.2k rn... *crashes out*

[maggotstrench]

Fuck I'm not a good writer but I am nothing if not Brave.

So I finished this drabble about Enoch's weird storage and Cailean's bewildering first week at work.

Uhhh

Contains: hiccups, and curing of hiccups, brief lizard mention, Enoch not being able to communicate with people tactfully

This is sfw but be gentle with me I'm new to this stuff it's different than drawing fr

Shibasaki was up on the ladder, working on some wiring. It was proving harder than average, he'd picked up a particularly nasty case of his hiccups some 10 minutes ago and they would not let up. They were loud and hard. He was honestly worried he might fall off the stupid ladder. Cailean sighed punctuated by a “-hEElk-” he sounded strangled. Luckily hewas nearly finished replacing the wires in this damn near ancient building.

It was a relatively lax day inside the archival building which probably meant it was a busy day in other parts of the university, Cail had only really seen one or two of the non-student employees hed met a week or so ago. There was one of the nice butch women, there were two butch women here: a wildly tall and thin girl who’d showed him a picture of her lizard, and the shorter heavier girl who’d asked if he'd ever seen a highland cow (he had) the latter was the one here. The other person here was the skinny man who had more glasses than face, he'd seemed alarmed to see cailean when he first arrived as a new maintenance man to the university.

“Who are you? What's going on? How'd you get here?” He'd asked back then, walking in a hard circle around Shibasaki as if taking stock of him. The confused Scotsman put his hands up and explained he'd just been hired which put a frown on the other man's face before he left muttering “new? New??” over and over under his breath.

Cailean frowned for a minute thinking about him, what was his name? He was so bad at names, he recalled it was something you'd name a sickly Victorian child… like Orville or Johann. He chuckled ,hiccupping early for it. Thought discarded the handyman slid his stripper into his tool belt, when he did so he was rattled to his core to see the skinny spectacled man from his mind palace standing at the base of the ladder looking at him without an expression, not unreadable but a complete lack thereof. He screamed despite himself，hand flying up to his mouth and the other gripping the ladder.

”OUH -hIGG’Up- oh my God -HIk- i-i mean Hello.. you..” he thought he would die just then but his hiccups remained unbothered hammering at his chest as he tried to catch his breath. The man at the end of his ladder tilted his head to the side.

“Paxton.” He stated dryly pushing his glasses up with his finger, Cailean noted the flush behind them, fuck it was kinda hot in this place? Shouldn't it be colder? For the records? To be ..cold??? He frowned.

“Come down from there. Follow me.” It wasn’t a request. The other man was already turned around as Shibasaki stumbled down his ladder. Paxton was probably leading him to some broken temperature thing if the pink on his neck was anything to go by.

“Is the ther -HUlck- sorry -HIGGip- the thermo -HUCKUp- s-stat-“

“Stop talking.” Paxton interrupted without looking at him. Cail shut his mouth, a little dejected as the other man led him to a comfy looking room with a couch and a table. He was confused, what was there to fix in here? He looked around now trying to muffle his hiccupping as he looked for what could be amiss. He was so focused he hardly noticed Paxton riffle through a cupboard and come back to push a jar of peanut butter into his hand.

“Do you have allergies?” his expression still had not changed despite Cailean’s obvious bewilderment at the question and action.

“N -HILK- no????” He looked at the jar and then the plastic spoon that were both now in his hands.

“What's thi-HIGG’Kup- why?“ the other man put his hands up to stop him.

“Youre h-“ Paxton looked past Cailean thinking for a second “you're hiccupping a lot. Stop talking and eat some of that stuff.” He turned around to start reorganizing the cabinets in the lounge.

cailean felt his face burn, this guy had heard him all the way at his desk? He unscrewed the lid on the peanut butter what kind of cure was putting something impossible to eat into your mouth and throat? He digressed, after all Paxton had gone through all this trouble to help him.

Cailean suddenly felt a pressure wash over him, what if it didn't work and he had to leave because everyone in the building hated him? And his body was ungrateful to his new pseudo coworkers?? hell he was sweating now and the nerves didn't do the case any favors. He stuck a spoonful into his mouth still hiccuping hard. It tasted good obviously it was fucking peanut butter of course it was good. Cailean breathed out through his nose as he watched Paxton move to rearrange the refrigerator. His stomach gave another lurch as he swallowed, hand to his chest. He waited for a second and then another.

“What the hell” he inspected the peanut butter jar for anything that could discern its hiccup interrupting properties this hadn't been one of his particularly rough cases but it still threw him off to be rid of it so easily. Paxton was pushing something else into his hand now, a water bottle.

“This is our lounge peanut butter. There's vinegar also, you can have this" he pointed to the water "but put the peanut butter back. It stays here so you can use it.” Paxton was as dry as ever but it didn't seem like he was annoyed. He seemed off though still.

“Thanks? Hey, why would I need vinegar?” He felt like he was taking lunatic pills today. The other man tilted his head again.

“Does the same thing as the peanut butter if the peanut butter doesn't work.” He stated, pulling the jar out of Cailean's hand. The handy man pulled the top of the water bottle off to remove the dryness out of his mouth.

“Hey, how do you know these are cures for hiccups? Why keep 'em on hand?” Cail was just making conversation now but for some reason this is where Paxton’s expression changed.

He looked like he'd been caught doing something wrong.

“I just do.” He said roughly. “It's nice to plan for emergencies in any case”

“I wouldn't call hiccups an emergency…”

Paxton was squirming a bit now

“I've got records to digitize, you know where the peanut butter is. Goodbye” he spun on his heel and left Cailean confused and disoriented but still grateful he supposed How was he supposed to let this guy know he got "hiccup emergencies” all the time and they usually didn't really budge. Cailean sighed and went to finish the wiring hiccup free.

[bonesandthebees]

Have a somewhat well overdue Christmas rant (plus my response to your reply, ofc) I'm happy you at least got to spend a little time with your family, I bet making the French toast was fun and that you did an amazing job, I also bet that being able to basic tasks again (whether it be making French toast or something else) feels great, and I hope you stop having the sickly victorian child cough soon, while you're at it, maybe drink some sickly victorian wife tea (that is if your throat hurts idk, if it does, I'm sorry) I'll keep the workshop thing in mind for the future, thank youuu As for the compliments I gave to your writing, you are very welcome, they are so deserved and, silly as this is, your soap opera blockmen rp fanfiction is where a large chunk of my inspiration was drawn from, so thank you for that <3 Speaking of your fics, the night before last I was with my aunt, my brother, and two of my cousins just driving to Walmart, but there was a bunch of bangers playing on the radio and it was raining and aaaaaahhhh the vibes dude, it reminded me of some parts of your fics, you capture little moments similar to this so well, good job there :) That was a bit off track but it's wtv, Christmas ramble time I got to see one of my tiny cousins on Christmas eve, I hadn't seen her in a long time, she's so adorable and I missed her sm hahah, I missed the aunt that's her mom too, so I'm glad I got to see her as well!! I got a guitar for Christmas, I am very excited to mess around with it I thought I had built up callouses on my fingers from playing violin for almost 2 years but no, my fingers were not prepared for the fucking havoc wreaked by these thick ass strings lmao, at least I haven't gotten blisters though, the most that happens is the familiar soreness and my fingertips turning purple, ofc. I have also been helping my little sister to learn some really basic songs on the keyboard she got, I'm going to develop arthritis in my fingers at this rate /j

Anyway, I hope the lingering sickness didn't make your Christmas very bad, and that you get over your cough soon!! Thank you for reading all of my silly ramblings

hello lotus anon! sorry I'm a bit late answering this I've been braindead

several weeks on and I'm still coughing though I think it is improving a tiny bit every day. I hate lingering coughs ughhhhhh. I'm still having plenty of tea though thank you <3

awww that's so sweet, I always try to capture those little domestic moments as best I can in my stories because I really think they're the kinds of moments we shouldn't let just slip by without recognizing how nice they are.

oh that's so lovely! I'm glad you got to see your tiny cousin and her aunt. it can be so nice reuniting with family sometimes during the holidays. right after christmas we had family fly out and I got to see the only cousin I have who is the same age as me when I haven't seen him since we were both like. 7 years old. so getting to know him again was very nice

ooooo a guitar that's so cool!! that's interesting that violin calluses don't translate to guitar strings, and also sounds unfortunately painful. I hope the learning has been going well for you though! manifesting strength for your fingers

I hope you had a lovely christmas yourself!

[snaggletoothedbastard]

rating insults my best friend has given me

because this was fun last time

you look like a five-year-old gremlin

in response to me telling him he looks like a 35-year-old man

i was not being serious, he looks more like he's in his mid twenties

but still, it was not much of an insult from me and then he comes out with this shit

i'm more offended by the idea that i look five years old than the idea that i look like a gremlin

i already know i look like a gremlin

6/10, it's probably the most creative height joke i've ever heard but not the most creative insult i've heard from this guy, i know he can do better

you walk like a drunk ape

now this is not one i've heard before

very true

the full sentence was "for someone who walks like a drunk ape you've got surprisingly good balance when you're kicking my punchbag"

so it's actually part of a compliment?

7/10, still not the most impressive but i like it

your arm is the size of an anorexic snake

in response to me showing him my bicep and asking how it looked

i then instantly pretended to punch him

he's not wrong though

he proceeded to flex his muscles and ask me how they looked so i said "like a fat snake"

4/10, it was amusing but the image of an anorexic snake makes me sad. i'm just imagining a literal noodle with a face

it really completes the tiny tim look

in response to me showing him my first cane like ten minutes after i bought it (i say first because last week i got a new one! and it's adjustable so i can make it exactly the right size!)

i was literally the james acaster meme (see one of my previous posts)

i was wearing a newsboy cap at the time which didn't help

i do happen to look like a sickly victorian child so i get it

9/10, probably the most creative out of these

i refuse to believe that you could win a game of pool without cheating

sir?? sir??? excuse me???

he once "won" a pool game against me by cheating

and by cheating i mean he got up on the table and used the cue like a fucking golf club

he was drunk

last week i actually won a pool game without cheating

and when i told him he said this

2/10, outrageous

and now...

rating compliments my best friend has given me

or just generally nice things he's said to me because i don't want the conclusion of this post to be that he's an asshole

you've got the voice of an angel

in response to me singing in front of him for the first time

a month or so later he told my crush that i had "an insane singing voice"

shoutout to him for being the best wingman

8/10, it's a little cheesy but i like it

numerous variations of "don't be sorry for being ill, we all love you anyway and we're happy to take care of you"

has been said several times throughout the summer because i got sick with vitamin d deficiency and have been getting the Symptoms(TM) a lot and feeling bad about it because it makes spending time together difficult

last time he said this to me i'd been drinking apple cider, which i found out the hard way is stronger than pear cider, and halfway through him saying this to me i felt extremely sick. kind of ironic

also i said it to him a few weeks ago because we'd planned to hang out at my house the morning after a night out but he messaged me saying he'd accidentally eaten gluten and was having a reaction so he had to go home, and he said he felt like a dick so i basically gave him the same advice he always gives me

9/10, wonderful advice and a good reminder, it's just a shame he had to say it so much

you're so sweet :)

nice and simple

he always says it after i give him anything that vaguely resembles advice

10/10, no notes, perfection

this poem's only mediocre because you wrote it, if it had been written by anyone else it would be amazing

now this one confused me for a second because it doesn't sound like a compliment

i'd just shown him a poem i'd written which wasn't bad but it wasn't as good as my other poems

basically he meant the poem was only mediocre by my standards because my poetry is good

but by anyone else's standards it would be really good

7/10 because it was confusing but once i understood it was very sweet

i didn't think anyone could love me until i met you

i can't

i can't handle this

so lovely but so sad, mate are you okay??

every time i feel insecure i remember that he said this and i just

10/10 i have no words

and bonus

apparently after i left a party early he drunkenly asked me if i was ok. twice. and had to be reminded by the others that i wasn't there.

in between bouts of violently throwing up <3

and that, my friends, is true love

10/10