#like in the majority of cases these arent ppl ur reasoning with

[weather-phenomenon]

i feel like many ppl miss the bigger picture tht u who identify as an individual religious person who is progressive n an ally or queer etc doesnt change the fact tht the institution of religion n the leaders n the ones who are actually making the rules hate me n want me dead n u arent reforming shit by going [insert religion] for queer rights woohoo that isnt to say it makes u less queer or tht u cant find a space in the queer community etc etc but at the end of the day you are just quite frankly supporting n upholding the ideologies of the enemy

[mejomonster]

Huai dao: 1 i hope Sheng Yao dates KING OF ACTING SHU JIU (who is secretly Hei Xiazi from dmbj i am standing by that)

2 i do think sheng yao and su junzi (and the conflict of su junzi being married) situation aspects was somewhat worked into the 3 persom situation of fei du/luo wenzhou/tao ran in modu. The characters are different, and modu is way more intense about it (all 3 of the modu people have way more trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms and Intensities to them than sheng yao or su junzi so far). But the fun ideas played with are definitely sparks of excitement during Huai Dao, and i can see why they were worked in modu.

3 i want more jiang hu backstory! Idk about shen yexi having ptsd, as he (as far as i know) had a support network of friend coworkers and has been using fairly normal coping mechanisms for stress that arent like causing any major issues for him. But i do think jiang hu (based on hints so far) has either some childhood trauma or actual past-work trauma. The childhood trauma theory: if this is like modu, then the cases may parallel one or both leads mental states. In that case: jiang hu had a childhood where he was expected to be perfect and fell short/felt guilty, or perhaps he was a victim to something and seeked to appease them to feel in control (like 2nd huai dao case). Which could be adult work trauma and could be very broad frankly: it could instead be that he had an old workplace where his mistakes led to something bad for someone (maybe patients or coworkers) so he took on an unfair amount of guilt he put on himself (or someone im authority blamed him and he believed them in that it was his fault), or he felt so out of control (in any kind of abusive workplace tbh) that he ended up guilty abd scared of Following Orders or Protocol or Superiors and failing to help who he intended (both a corrupt workplace or even just a run of the mill police one/societally normalized stressful workplace) couldve caused it.

I tried to word it before and went on a tangent so im going to try and just quick state what i hope comes across clearly. So i think priest doesnt use mental health terms particularly well in Huai Dao. It gets better in later novels of priests novels (modu handles terms better - including parts where things arent named, which is sometimes more realistic of trauma and levels of it and depression and anxiety and just how like the range of how we cope and what messes us up is vastly different and results in different ways for people, and what deeply affects one person may make no result in another). But in Huai Dao because of specific term labelling, and it being on perpetrators of harm, it can fall into a kind of reinforcing certain ideas - which is my biggest warning if you read. The actual portrayal of characters feels realistic TO each individual characters cirmstances and feels reasonably realistic. So i think priesr doesnt let it affect actual portrayals. But atuff like say a criminal having ocd but no one on the investigation team having ocd... you know. Its like if you have 1 gay character in a story and theyre a villai. Its fine to do a gay villain, but if its ur only gay character then readers as a whole may just reinforce their belief 'gay people are bad' unless you have some other neutrally or well treated gay character to reinforce that your story is not intending to say all X are bad. Idk if that makes sense? (Like... again modu compares childhood abuse cases, in fact a variety from Fei Du and the Su girl forced to harm otjers as children and what theyre like older, to zhang donglai with an absent dad and his own fucked family issues, to various side characters... and because theres people who turn out all kinds of ways, and fei du is a lead wr root for, theres never the feeling of the story seeming to indicare people abused as children are 'bad.' Instead the story just more broadly is showing how things could turn out varyingly, and how a wide spectrum of ppl have lived through that kind of trauma). I think huai dao if it leaned less on labelling terms might have worked better, or some side or main chqracters having similar mental health issues that the writing paints as people we root for or feel sympathy toward like victims. So like. Mm a weak spot for sure. Expected to run into it in tjis genre, its not an uncommon flaw in many a crime novel or show. But it is something to be aware of. while i think if a main cjaracter eventually does reveal they have mental health issues is may help lessen the kind of abrasiveness currently. But qho knows. This is a problem widespread in stories.

I think the characters tjemselves function as you expect ppl to in their situation. So as realistic characters things feel not illogical or so unrealistic it drives me up a wall. But yeah the terms and a bit of the selection of who has what background has some not ideal choices.

[epitomereally]

22, 30, 48 for the fanfic ask meme! <3

the fanfic ask meme! thanks @gracerene, always happy & excited to talk writing :)

22: describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

omg what a question! Okay, so I’ve always started out with a one sentence premise that inspires me. For ‘A Case of You’, I was listening to River by Joni Mitchell and thought of Harry & Draco breaking up at Christmas. For my current wip, I thought of Draco being invited to the Burrow from Christmas right after the War (both of these are Christmas inspirations, though neither really end up being a Christmas story!). From there, it just flows—why would Harry and Draco break up at Christmas? Where would Draco go after breaking up? Why would he return to England?

I work forward & backward, and normally end up with a pretty good idea of the major beats of the story before writing (though these end up changing throughout the process) & have super long, disorganized notes documents where I write down/order a basic outline. I then write semi-chronologically, but also just write the scene that inspires me that day! I really try to vomit it all out, without going back to edit while writing, & refine/cut/add in missing scenes or character motivation etc, during editing, which can go more or less smoothly. Really excited to edit my current wip NOT on a fest timeline lol.

30: most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.

I wouldn’t say I have any good quotable quotes about writing (one of my 2023 goals: read more books about writing craft!), so I’m going to leave you with a quote from a @wistfulrat post about drarry:

hey rmr in scaredy cat when draco says “I should be able to deserve a boyfriend who loves me, and you should be able to resent me—both at the same time. You deserve that.” and then a little later it’s “You have to give up your right to resent me,” he said. “Okay,” said Harry, easily.

and doesnt that make u insane when ur reading a fic that truly gets this dynamic (seefin’s wild, lettered’s by the grace etc.) bc ppl arent owed resolutions or closure or forgiveness and yet!! there is something fundamentally surprising and kind when u get them. i love that shit gimme 75 more fics like that

This lives in my mind rent-free when I write drarry & what I find so compelling about drarry: what is forgiveness?, what is being “good enough” for someone?, what is “redemption”?, etc. This is always why I gravitate towards reading & writing drarry that doesn't make anything easy in their relationship—the love they can find for each other is hard-won.

48: do you reread your own stories? 

NOT YET (beyond editing), but absolutely plan to because I AM writing the stories that I like to read and that's so fun & one reason I love doing this :)

[twiintaurus]

Reblogging again cuz I was thinking abt this again and like… what’s frustrating abt this is that yeah we never fucking moved and at least in my family’s case, we’ve been here since before it was even Mexico much less the US. But Mexicans from Mexico don’t consider us actual Mexicans but we’re still culturally Mexican. It’s not like we’ve completely assimilated to yt American culture (the only reasons it did happen at all was out of survival). And so now we’ve kind of created our own regional cultures but when you tell people you’re tejano and nuevo mexicano they either don’t know what you’re talking about or say some shit like “so ur just Mexican?” but tHEN YOU SAY YOURE MEXICAN AND PPL TELL YOU YOU ARENT CUZ YOU ARENT FROM MEXICO.

And then there’s the whole conversation about being indigenous but not everyone has access to those roots especially depending how far back they go. And even those of us who can connect to that part of our culture, we’re still raised in Mexican culture. It’s just a huge mess.

The constant identity crisis the Mexican diaspora goes through specifically in the south/southwest/west US is absolutely insane and a majority of the time it’s from other people deciding for us what we are.

The more I think about it the more and more bizarre it becomes to me that Mexicans born in California, Texas, and the Southwestern United States are considered "diaspora"

I understand why we're considered as such, but it's also just — bizarre

[ghostofcitrus]

more gender crisis bc i need somewhere to document this shit and also if u wanna read and say smth that’s cool too 🥺 fair warning it’s kinda longgg. but there’s a tl;dr and i tried to make the paragraphs short so it’s easy to read and i sorted the thoughts by paragraphs

ok so when i see a girl or group of girls or smth i, for the most part, am like yeah same. i have the same lived experience and like yeah u look cool and i relate in a lot of ways.

but like i also feel the same w non-binary ppl. i see agender ppl and i’m like oh nice that sounds like how i want to live MY life!! i get jelous. i saw a gender ambiguous person the other day and i thouvht i was going to lose my mind i was like AKSJSHJSJSNS Y O U. I WANT TO BE YOU. i talked to them i was like 😭😭i love your hair😭😭 and it was so compelling just seeing them i got my hair cut later that week. i like it.

and i cut my hair and i’m like y e s. and i’ve always wanted a very small/flat chest and have planned on getting a breast reduction (meaning i want basically no tits. i’m like a DDD rn. and i’m short and have a baby face so that’s like. very noticeable. pain.) ASAP. but i like dress and being seen as a girl? but i also want to be non binary, but it feels like something im striving for. i don’t feel like i’m there. i feel like i WANT to be there but i just keep hitting roadblocks.

when i think about OTHER girls, i’m like yeah. i relate to that. but when i think about myself. fully isolated. i want to present like a feminine agender person. i am connected to my girlhood. girl, sister, girlfriend, daughter... all of them accurately describe me. but i also like person, sibling, partner, child.

i like femininity. i like being seen like that. and being seen as a girl is cool and fine. but i don’t feel like it accurately describes all of me. but i’m like scared??

i want to be a “girl” in the way that when u look at me ur like ... is that a girl? my face i like lmao. it’s round and feminine. cool lol. my body.... i wish with like all my heart i woke up one day w/o titties or major curves. but i’ve literally work so hard to accept and like myself in my body. YEARS of forcing myself to look in the mirror and compliment myself. deconstructing fatphobia was a big part of it. but in my head. with no mirrors around. i think of myself as less curvy. a small fame, but not really curvy. much more neutral features. i forget what i actually look like. but when i do look in the mirror now i’m like she’s pretty. i like how she looks. nice. but it doesn’t really feel like me. but i feel cool. it’s like nice makeup that’s someone else chose for u and never comes off. like yes. that’s nice. but... it’s not like “me”. i feel like that about most of my features. but i’ve grown up in them. i don’t hate them. i think they look pretty and i feel confident enough like this. and after all the work i’ve done to get to this mindset... it’s just not what i want.

i think part of what’s messing with me is i’m automatically more comfortable with other girls/afabs, like we just share experiences and i can generally understand how they socialize. guys like,.. not so much. but most of my actual friends have ended up being guys. but im naturally wary of guys. and most around me end up being fucking republicans anyways. and another part of what’s getting to me is when i’m going about my life, i enjoy being stereotypically feminine. like i like to be taken care of, feel small , that bs. maybe it’s internalized misogyny that i feel like the only way i can be that is as a girl.

i also think i just have no idea what it would really feel like to go about the world non-binary. like i just want to keep blending into the background. i don’t want to be that noticeably different, i’m already autistic.

i think it’s also weird bc since middle school have been having periodic gender crisises but they always end in me just getting embarrassed, finding transmeds on the internet and also getting embarresed, not wanting to stop being feminine, or deciding it��s just not worth it.

and i think another thing is, i’ve always felt more connected to girls, but always on the outskirts of that, but that might just be because i’m autistic. but like i’m feminine in the sense that i like dresses. and being taken care of that and that shit. girls tend to really fucking irk me a lot of the times. i don’t really feel “connected” to them, more like “stuck” with them but making the best of it. some are pretty cool :) tbh it’s mostly just other autistic or queer girls i vibe with. other than that.. i struggle a lot to feel connected.

speaking of being autistic.... i’m realizing a lot of what i’m feeling is similar to how i felt when i first started to consider that i was autistic. when i was alone or in a space i was totally comfy in, i felt very confident that i was autistic. but when i was around people, i was like no i’m definitely not. and even now. i know i mask whenever i’m not alone. but i’m literally so fucking used to it it’s not hard at all. it hardly feels like a mask. just a different version of me. not the most authentic, but it’s how i operate around others. so whatever. not what i like per say. but in most cases, i can deal with it and still be perfectly happy (ish). this is exactly how i feel about all of this gender shit.

but i think part of my hesitancy to identify like this is i’ve never met ppl irl who identify as non-binary. that wouldn’t be a group for me to find and relate to and be comfortable with, i’d just be the different one. and i’m already different. and people don’t really get neopronouns and that shit.

ok and i’m anxious about my boyfriend as well. he’s a straight guy, idk how he’d feel about me being non binary. but i don’t want to sacrifice our relationship, so it’d be fine, because i also like my name and pronouns now. i like the shortened version of my name better tbh but i think my name sounds cool. mostly because saying it is a vocal stim for me, same with my partners name fore some reason. i just think they’re good names. they feel good to hear and say. and i’ve always been described that way and i’m like yeah that’s me.

i like dresses. feminine clothes? yes pleaseee. i like how girl are generally the ones who get taken care of. i like feeling small and dainty. i like being silly and cute. but like ... silly and cute arent like “girl things”?? but idk.

but i like “girl”. not “ladies” or “woman”. that feels too much like “female” and the only time i feel like i relate to that at all is in very specific situations. i’m feminine. i like that. i wish i could be feminine in an androgynous way tho????????

TL;DR: closing thoughts. if i were the only person on earth and i could do whatever i wanted like magically. i would change my appearance to look like my picrew... but like for an ex think Crona from Soul Eater of Ed from Cowboy Bebop. both of them are androgynous but when i see both of them i’m like they’re kinda feminine too! like that’s what i want to look like. i’d probably go by Citrus and neopronouns and maybe she/her (they’re fine but i feel like i’m lying about being non binary when i use them). ya know. how i want to be. but in reality. i am scared of that. it sounds like a lot of work and a big change that i could probably never really achieve. i also hate change. and constantly explaining shit.

also do cis people PINE over this shit the way i am? i’ve done this multiple times for years. not consistently bc tbh i have other shit i need to spend energy on but when i’m not pouring energy into somewhere else i tend to circle back to this. maybe that’s a sign that i’m right.

[seoafin]

BYE I WAS IMMERSED WITH GENSHIN’s STORY PLOT (AND THE FANARTS ON MY TL) WHICH WAS ALSO DROPPED EARLIER THIS MORNING AND FORGOT ABT JJK FOR A SPLIT SEVONDSJJSJEJ

but anyways ,, jjk 145// the more i write abt it, the more i’ll sound incoherent, this is ur last warning to ignore this 🧍‍♂️(1)

the one who is based on avalokitesvara (i’ll start calling it them as kannon from now) that i mentioned was actually brain (out of ppl) 😭😭

kenjaku (羂索) is shorten from "不空羂索観音 (fukukenjakukannon)" ,, they existed b4 the heian period... older then sukuna ?? suggested that brain is at least 1k years old... hsjsjjsjs

fukukenjakukannon, a manifestation of the buddhist god of mercy and compassion,, perhaps of some interest is that the fukukenjaku shares some kanji with gojou's infinite void followed by kanjis for trap & rope, with kannon directly referring to an all-knowing/overseeing divine existence. it rly does seem that kenjaku, tengen, and gojou's fates have all been strongly interwined throughout history,, kannon has been perceived as both male and female depending on the portrayal and the region, not unlike jjk's kenjaku switching bodies and genders over the course of time (kamo vs kaori vs getou)

some associations with kannon may be relevant to jjk. namely, as yuki mentions, salvation ,, kannon is a deity to serve his subjects, and resolve their suffering by eliminating its source,,, in which case, i think kenjaku's goal may possibly not be too far off from geto’s ,,,,, he may think that he is saving a group that is enduring greater suffering than any other. whether that is shamans, cursed spirits, or sth else entirely is up for debate. given his persistence over the millenia, and the likelihood of spreading suffering worldwide through a universal tengen merger, it's more than likely that he has a very personal motive. note that under his plan it is specifically the evil of a human that would spread and destroy all of humankind connected through tengen

this is an interesting contrast to sukuna, who is much more whimsical and far less calculated. i think the clash between these 2 in the past will have strong relevance for the future,,, on the other hand, since kannon has historically manifested in response to the suffering of various beings, it may be that the feelings of cursed spirits as a whole have led to kenjaku's existence. he could very well be a curse born from curses, instead of from humans.

okay now what i'm really excited abt: the relationship between kenjaku and the 6 eyes. 1 of the functions of kannon is to protect the 6 realms of rebirth/the 6 paths. u may already be familiar with this buddhist concept as it has been referenced in a variety of animanga (notably it is a major plot point of naruto, it's mukuro's ability in KHR, etc.). there's strong reason to believe this concept also has connections to the gojou 6 eyes ability. i think if we get to learn more abt the 6 eyes, i may be able to speak more on this point.

(as a side note here, i’ll mention that there’s an association between kannon and the protection of aborted children, perhaps relating to og kamo and the death paintings)

at the very least, we know that kenjaku and the 6 eyes are in opposition, and i'm speculating that the gojou bloodline is the true manifestation of a protective deity, at least for the humans, and kenjaku's goals are antithetical to that,,, perhaps, as yuki kind of suggested, taking the name kenjaku is a joke of sorts. if sukuna is malevolence incarnate, kenjaku is mercilesness,,

i think some of the core concepts being explored by the tengen storyline are that of form and existence. gojou satoru, tengen, kenjaku, and eventually the star plasma vessels are existences that transcend the norm,,, toji on the other hand, is the only example of the opposite. an existence that shouldn't have ever existed, in a sense. kenjaku seemed to have used that to his advantage in his manipulation of the events in hidden inventory,,, but it also leads me to believe that only a similar anomaly could undo the new destiny he's setting up for himself.

geto was the perfect piece to set kenjaku up for success in conducting a merger and putting this culling game into motion. geto's path has led to this outcome,,, in which case, an apt parallel as we have known all along is that gojou's path should lead to the counter-outcome: megumi, yuuta, and especially yuuji— these 3 will be the key to unravelling kenjaku's plan.

also tengen said that kenjaku’s objective is to send all the ppl in jpn to higan or turning all non shamans into one but he doesnt have enough cursed energy to do that,,, i did say that yuuji’s birthday took place in the 4th solar term where a part of a week long celebration haru no higan (higan 彼岸→other shore, buddhist pārāmitā), when ppl would honour the dead and sweep ancestral tombs took place,,,

so theres this buddhist mantra, called the “heart sutra” and the last verse of the sutra is,,

there are many sutras in buddhism, but the most well-known among them is probably the Heart Sutra,, altho it depends on the sect (of buddhism), the heart sutra is often read at funerals and memorial services, so even if,, and for some reason the sutra is often associated to kannon even in the utube thumbnail 👁👁 if u search up prajnaparamita sutra,,

heart sutra has the meaning of "an important teaching to reach the state of enlightenment by the power to see through the truth and essence." which is based on the idea of ​​"void" as this important teaching,, the sutra tells us what we shld do to be free from the suffering of this world and live in peace,, in the heart sutra, the idea of ​​"void" is especially important.

buddhism can be broadly divided into theravada and mahayana buddhism,,,,

theravada is a teaching that only some ppl (those who practice buddhism with strict lifestyle like the monks) reach the state of enlightenment, while mahayana is a teaching that all ppl (some who practice Buddhism) can reach enlightment even if u dont practice anything related to the religion,,, the idea of ​​the void has the idea of ​​not being caught up in individual things and not being obsessed with it, and the idea of ​​heart sutra belongs to the category of mahayana buddhism

"void" does not mean "empty" but "no substance (no fixed shape)". the sutra also states that "everything keeps changing" and "although it keeps changing, the essence (core) of things remains the same."

for eg, the idea is, "i am me, no matter how old i am,, my appearance and various abilities deteriorate, how I am evaluated by others, whether i feel good or bad."

in other words,,, it’s a teaching to be aware of the essence without being caught up in the phenomenon of change.

"void" means "no substance (no fixed shape)", which means that u don't have to be obsessed with things or get caught up in one value.

eg, the reason why diamonds are beautiful is that diamonds arent beautiful from the beginning, but that humans decide that they’re beautiful,,, and that each person has a fixed evaluation of the movement of their hearts that they feel is beautiful. but thats not always the case right?

the last verse goes like this :

“Therefore, Prajna Paramita is known as the most divine mantra,

the great enlightening mantra,

the utmost mantra,

the incomparable mantra,

destroyer of all suffering!

Since what is true is not in vain, listen to the mantra of the Prajna Paramita– it goes like this:

GATE GATE PARA GATE PARASAM GATE BODHI SVAHA!”

the translation of the last line is: “going, going, going on beyond, always going on beyond, always becoming buddha.”

quoted from a web here : “it suggests movement toward awakening. It expresses the enlightenment of a buddha as an unfolding process, rather than a steady state. It puts us in the hopeful position of one who may not have arrived, but who may be on the way. The destination may not be an end, but the journey itself.

As appealing as this translation is, it is by no means the only one. When you do an Internet search for the terms “Heart Sutra” or “Prajna Paramita” you get numerous references. At these various pages you will find several different translations of the mantra. These include:

* Gone, gone, gone beyond, gone altogether beyond. Oh what an awakening! All hail!

* Gone, gone, gone beyond altogether beyond, Awakening, fulfilled!

* Gone, gone, gone to the Other Shore, attained the Other Shore having never left.

* Gone, gone, totally gone, totally completely gone, enlightened, so be it.

* “Oh, you have done! You have done! You have completely crossed the margin. This is Enlightenment! Congratulations!” “

the irony though of toji dying thinking that he should've stuck his principles but actually having ridiculous impact on the world,, this also puts a new spin on the "look upon the flesh of one who is free" (afaik it was left untranslated on his cover page when he invade dagon’s domain) and the implication is imo,,, the more cursed energy, the more restrictions and so in a way humanity goes into a devolution the more cursed energy there is because they will be bound even more tightly to the cycle than before,, which is the irony of the kenjaku & bodhisattva linkage

toji had a heavenly restriction and has zero cursed energy, which is an anomaly that is his own, which makes me wonder what he would've been like if he had an expressed technique,,, but it's the zero cursed energy part, that uniqueness, that makes him powerful in canon

im rly curious how having cursed power automatically seems to lock u into a binding,,, which is seemingly fate. the shaman world rly operates entirely on rules,, where this is because of tengen's barriers or the origin of techniques being more commonplace im not sure

i used to think CTs came abt when individual sorcerers made pacts with supernatural beings etc but now im not sure,, despite leaning hard on shinto and buddhist frameworks there isnt much overt indication over what is and is not a real power in canon,,, like we have mahoraga but are bodhisattvas assumed to be real and exist? or as figures of belief, are they and other figures of shinto mythology, all just cursed spirits in the end?

but that tengen is linked with the proliferation of 6 eyes and star plasma vessel, makes me start wondering how and why tengen started this whole barrier thing,, like yes jpn has a ton of cursed spirits but was it before or after the barrier i can't remember now

maybe Kenjaku was messing around too much back then,, i like how sukuna also maybe had very lil to do with this and is possibly going to interfere as a wild card once more. is the idea to use him as a hail mary so u convey more ppl to the other side all at once? unless kenjaku thinks sukuna is the person who got closest to the next evolution of humankind and is actually a fan 🥴

but yeah if sukuna and megumi can remake the world together can they just hit the reset button so tengen isn't somehow this massive jungian collective unconscious? is sukuna going to accidentally save the world lol,,, i didn't care for fate themes before since it felt like akutami hadn't wholly committed to it as a theme,,, but fate and collective responsibility/influence on the individual just became a much bigger theme

also the mind/body/soul thing with tengen,,, when is that idea coming back

so tengen and sukuna are so far the only ppl who have said to have evolved into curses, whereas kenjaku still seems to be a shaman, as well as angel. what catalyzes that??

also how tf are the cursed weapons made i have questions,, just putting it out here but i actually thought that if toji, presumably, didnt rebel and defected from the clan,,, what are the chances of zenin thinking of turning him into a cursed weapon lol

,,, does being a cursed spirit mean u are bound even more tightly to fate? or do u escape because u are no longer a human bound by ur technique and u are instead just energy that keeps cycling over and over.....cursed energy rly just karma with strength mechanics???

why did gojou get rid of the black rope only for yuuta go to find more??? seems contradictory,, like...did he exorcise sth in that couple years gap?? or were there other reasons? or is HE the one scared since he also hid the inverted spear of heaven,,, makes me wonder how common knowledge all these mechanics actually are

trying to wrap my head around potential megumi learned helplessness or not being able to work through his own problems, or if it's this weird backward wishing that he didn't HAVE to deal with problems if he didn't HAVE to do these things and there were simple solutions,,, like i don't think he's exactly lazy bc he seems to do a lot of work behind the scenes, but there's a certain stasis to him, a wishing not to know. i wonder if he was ever given the "u are a child and I'm the adult" speech nanami gave yuuji

nanami, qifrey and maybe reigen are the adult/ mentor figures i wish was/ is in my life orz

i think it's kind of funny how 145 is like suddenly christianity! this manga is just abt the many ways people seek freedom and want to be delivered,,,

but im not going to talk abt it 😔 — i only have lil to no knowledge abt it other than the lil trivias my friends dropped time to time whenever we’re having a discourse abt religion suddenly lmao and im not a big fan of talking abt things idk abt bc i’ll just look stupid otherwise LMAO

its interesting to note that christian have this uh for a lack of better way to describe it, higher power which can grant u eternal salvation or damnation while buddhism is just fending for urself in pursuit of enlightment ,,, while buddhism also have beings like devas/ deities it just means that 1) if ur born as one, u must have done a good deed sometime in one of ur previous lives,, 2) u just have a ridiculous long life span but yes u’ll eventually die again and rebirth as sth depending on ur actions,,, that goes for living in gods, demi-gods, humans, animals, hungry ghosts or hells realms

this is completely unrelated but,, my mother used to blast the heart sutra frequently in my house back then and the only thing i catch is the “gate gate parasamgate bodhi svaha” which i used ,, whenever i see sth..that is supposed to be unseen

theres this time i stayed behind in cram school for an exam,, i purposely took a another path from my usual one to clear my head (but im still familiar) and i saw this guy standing on the side road and the only thing that went thru my mind back them was “why is he not moving? is he waiting for someone? is he lost or sth,, the main road is just 6 foot away tho lol”

it was until i keep looking at each house that i finally notice that the spot he stood on is not even a ground lvl asphalt,, it’s a fucking sewer which means that he’s actually floating 😭😭 i just jogged and say sth along the line “wow today, ma is cooking hotpot for dinner (i actually have no idea what she plans to cook everyday) i dont want to eat it cold,, so i better hurry up” out loud while chanting the verse in my head

theres also this time me and a friend were sitting on my motorcycle after getting our late night food run until a particular smell and when we stay silent, a woman is singing on the branch right above us that we dipped right away and i almost catch a ticket for speeding all the while thinking abt that verse💀

i dont mind seeing one of “them” but i do have a problem with them following me back home and end up haunting my house for some period of time,, that one or sth ghost who slam things around and giggle in the middle of the night is enough for me to deal with 😀

now im off crying abt genshin (again) now and i’ll go back to sleep afterwards,,, ALSO I LOVE WITCH HATE ATALIERJSJEJEJ- 🐱 (2)

you literally brought up THE SAME EXACT QUESTIONS I HAVE!!! like why would gojo send yuuta to find more of the rope if he destroyed it in the first place?? unless he destroyed it in the heat of the battle with miguel during the prequel but it didn’t look like that. also i saw on twitter kenjaku might not even be a male?? apparently when referring to kenjaku, tengen didn’t use gendered pronouns. im also super curious as to how the six eyes, star plasma vessel (riko...), tengen, and kenjaku are all entwined because kenjaku’s plan was a long time coming, even though he was foiled two times already.

this reminds me of the heavenly restrictions because im still so confused about what exactly it is!! is it something a person is born with or is it something that is placed on a baby by another person??

you brought up fate too and i think that’s such an interesting concept like with akutami making more and more references to the heian era and the “golden age of sorcery” in the end I feel like everything led up to this moment. the existence of cursed energy too just feels like this “endless cycle of fate” which makes sense considering this theme also kinda aligns with yuuji’s birth which was pre planned. idk...this whole thing is suddenly feeling so much more insidious than we may have originally thought.

the sudden christianity mention is a pretty odd choice on akutami’s part but a lot of ppl (including me) are speculating that hana is going to be a harbinger of doom or something. once again is she even japanese?? the western concept of angels have never been particularly altruistic either.

unfortunately gojo has always been treating megumi like an adult so i don’t think he was ever given the “you are a child” talk from gojo. we can see it in their first meeting too. when their conversation takes a turn to serious, it becomes a conversation is from one adult to another. gojo also seems like the type to pile even more responsibility onto megumi because gojo isn’t responsible, so megumi had to pick up that slack.

i agree with you. i think sukuna is literally a wild card LMAO he does what he wants when he wants and that’s in. i don’t even think you can have a contingency plan for sukuna because he’s just that unpredictable!!!

nanami, qifrey and MAYBE reigen LSDNFKJFKN....reigen beats gojo by far though so i’ll give reigen that (that's not saying much tho tbh 😭) reigen's still sexy as hell tho 😁

also you mentioned khr!! khr is one of my favorite mangas of all time....although amano akira cannot write women despite being one khr still holds a very special place in my heart. i had no idea mukuro was influenced by kannon (to be fair i was like 14) but then again...mukuro’s eyes....i can’t believe our tastes in animanga are the same....bestie our taste>>>

HELLO???? YOU’RE RUNNING INTO SUPERNATURAL CREATURES LIKE THAT??? also motorcycles!! now im like 80% sure you're in SEA somewhere, bc as someone who lived in a SEA country for 3 years and went to school in a haunted building I feel you LMAO

[littlebabycrybtch]

i dont wanna ruin ppls fun or w/e but i just,,,,,,, anybody else honestly getting tired of seeing character coding essays. bc like. ppl will write some analysis on how a character is ‘coded’ as a minority and then their examples literally just boil down to 100% personal headcanons revolving around stereotypes, baiting, or just literally making something out of nothing. like. i am not personally gonna Celebrate that?? and im not gonna give some random privileged creator my praise for any one of those things???

idk hot take but.... imo? coding isnt. even good. its not a diversity positive thing to ‘’’code’’’ a character. frankly most of the time a character isnt even fucking coded as anything, but even when thats truly the case, its not rly. representation. its half assed, its a cop out decision. it should be like. a last resort for when you Cant represent a trait, like if ur fighting censorship or smth. otherwise................ whats the point of it dude. im rly not trying to be black or white abt it but. minority rep is not the place for requiring ‘analysis’. just represent the fucking trait. if you want people to think your character is a certain thing... blatantly make them the thing. you dont make majorities play guessing games with their rep, why should i let you play me like that. i dont want your symbolism or ‘’’’’’coding’’’’’’. to me its insulting, demeaning, and does nothing for me. and thats just talking about when coding posts end up being Reasonable, 9 times out of 10... its downright eyeroll worthy. now ofc, however you choose to relate to characters is 100% fine, and you viewing their traits as relatable to your through your own minority lens is valid analysis! but its kinda inexcusable to ignore the social harm it causes to just. literally out loud pretend that blatantly coincidental or even Malicious character choices are actually intentional, and that this vague intention would mean anything truly progressive anyways, especially when once again, most of these ‘coding’ essays are written about stereotypes and baiting. coding at this point seems to be just... a fancy word for ‘a headcanon with a little extra analysis to fantasize that this was the truth all along, yaaay everybody agree with me’.

in other words.... if you try to tell me one more time about how this quirky character is autism coded, or this male character who one time said he doesnt like sports is gay coded, i am gonna fucking scream. lmao dude. no they arent. thats not real. they arent for me. they dont represent me. they were probably written by an abled cishet who isnt thinking about me at all, so im sorry, but its just too much to ask for me to pretend with you. i refuse to lower my standards that fucking far. i will Not clap for that, i will Not fake that this means anything to me just bc you want me to. and if its actually supposed to be that way, well tbh the concept would probably offend me bc based on the points given it sounds like absolute garbage rep anyways. smh. like its fine when you see stuff that way, but thats a fuckign HEADCANON ok, stop using stereotypes and baiting as examples of ANYTHING positive or realistic, and pls just go back to writing HEADCANON analysis essays instead of implying this sort of shit is intentional and progressive, unless you have CLEAR evidence thats fucking real and makes sense!! im sorry to be harsh but it makes me wanna pull my hair out lmao. idk, have fun, but pls stop and think about how it affects other minorities (and if you’re one, remember the people in your group besides yourself) when you leap from ‘this is what i think for self related reasons’, and ‘this is what i am going to publicly claim is the truth’. theres a big difference in headcanon vs coding conversations, and the problem is its way more harmful if you fuck ‘coding’ up the way a Lot of people have been.

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[dreadintensifies]

sorry you feel that way but setting a line is gatekeeping! its a "line" (gate) telling people u must be this or else u dont qualify. consider how wild it is to think u personally get to define how dysphoric someone should be before theyre trans. bc no matter how "low" your bar may be, its still there. also there will always be those im ur community with more reqs and a higher bar. the only way to not have trans ppl jumping through hoops to conform is for there to not be any hoops to jump through

unfortunately this is anon so i cant reply directly or privately, but in my personal opinion (once again this is my own thoughts and feelings, and i only speak for myself. dont twist my words.) then maybe there should be some amount of gatekeeping. listen its rare but there have been reported cases of someone transitioning before they were sure and it caused major dysphoria and was expansive and painful emotionally, physically, and sexually (sexually as in sexuality as in gender, physical sex, and sexual interests). okay my friend put this in a really good way so ima just quote her "no i mean i agree, i was having a conversation the other day about people who abuse labels and minimize others' struggles

like it's not up to me to decide whether or not someone is or is not trans or gay or anything, but using the label for the sake of using it waters down the real problems people face"

in my own words

""i cant choose the line but there is one and people need to consider it and how they treat it" kinda thing. you and i cant choose whos trans or not, but there still needs to be awareness of what is trans and what isnt so people dont use the label incorrectly and cause more issues for those suffering"

basically instead of forcefully telling people they arent trans (since. ya know. im not an asshole *cough at the person who called me a cunt and scum bc of this post*) make sure people are aware that there is a definition of trans. that dysphoria is important to, at the very least, knowing that you are trans (you as in yourself. as in the dysphoria or releif of dysphoria that made one realize they are trans) and that there is a line between trans and cis, and that there is a line between gender and sex, gender and social norms, gender and sexuality. not forcing people out of the trans community, but making sure they know what it means to be trans (there is a definition for a reason water it down too much and suddenly tomboys are trans and trans people arent aowed to transition at all bc it could be a phase) and make sure they know its okay to experiment, people are there to help them figure it out, and most importantly that trans is not the only option. not the only reality. so so so many people on tumblr slap the label of trans on everything and anything. a 12 yr old girl feels disconnect from social femininity but connect with her own sexuality? oh shes trans says tumblr. what we need to say is, this is what sexuality means, this is what gender is, this is how society treats it, this is what might be happening but also this.

is this making more sense? not gatekeeping as in forcefully keeping people out. but telling people what the gate is, what it means to be inside it, what it means to be outside it, and how their actions can impact others.

a real life issue for many trans people isnt gatekeeping. its the aggression from society who resfuses to learn bc tumblr makes it so hard to learn, so complex and difficult.

[mithliya]

i dont know why ur bringing up the chromosomes, people don't have a third type of chromosomes? there's no like.. Z chromosome for example, ppl have XXY, XXXY, XY, XX, etc but those arent.. a third sex??? like ultimately you were just wrong in claiming that stating theres only two sexes is inaccurate i dont know where you got that jk rowling advocates any form of conversion therapy. im by no means a fan of hers nor do i think shes perfect, theres a lot of stuff shes said and done that i DO take issue with, but her statements on this issue didnt say anywhere that people should be forced to be gender-conforming, nothing about removing the option of transition from everyone, nor has she conflated sex with gender (in fact i read her emphasise the difference several times), and her concerns with people pushing transition onto gender non-conforming and dysphoric children are also reasonable considering multiple studies have found a huge portion of those kids grow up to be non-trans gay adults, thus pushing transition on children when theyre more often than not going to overcome their dysphoria without major medical intervention such as providing them with blockers, hormones, or even surgeries (in rare cases) is messed up. especially when we know that countries like iran literally do use push transition onto gay people, and that transition was forced onto gay people historically as a 'punishment'. someone expressing "hey maybe we shouldnt be using medical interventions for every child diagnosed with dysphoria when studies found that is unnecessary in most cases" is a pretty decent stance considering all that ive mentioned. beyond that i dont know what you could be on about when u say she advocates for conversion therapy as ive seen her state the exact opposite, which is that she opposes and takes issue with conversion therapy. i dont know if maybe you read what she had to say and got a completely different message or if youve read something i havent but .. everything ive read doesnt match up w what youre saying here.

JK Rowling and “Radical Feminism”

I’ve only been back on this blog for a day, but I can avoid this topic no longer. Those of you who are following me or the hashtags on my account, I’m sure are aware of the scandal that has “recently” occurred with JK Rowling. Recently being in quotations, because if you dig a little deeper, she’s always perpetuated points of view which have undertones of bigotry; it’s only now that she’s decided to be a bit more open about them.

We’ll start at the beginning. Harry Potter. Admittedly, I read these books when I was incredibly young, so in the first readthrough, my only thoughts of Hermoine Granger were, “wow, she’s kind of annoying”. Looking back, wasn’t that the whole point? To make the female lead as completely obnoxious as humanly possible? To perpetuate the idea that she would eventually need to be saved by a straight, white, cis, male? These novels were no different than any novel written by a male author. They perpetuate the exact same stereotypes, and they end with a straight white cis male coming to save the day.

The only character in Harry Potter who is explicitly stated to be diverse is an Asian character. Rowling names this character “Cho Chang”. I don’t think I need to go into why that’s stereotypical. You’re all smart enough to figure that one out. Years writing the novels, she came back and tried to claim that Dumbledore was gay and Hermoine was black, but that was only after facing backlash for the lack of diversity in her novels. If this was true, she would have pushed for a black actress to portray Hermoine in the films.

Flash forward to 2017. Rowling begins liking some tweets alleging that trans women are “men in dresses”. At the time, her spokesperson said that she pressed the like button by accident.

2019. She chimes into a hashtag defending a researcher (Maya Forstater) who makes similar claims. Forstater claimed that there were only two biological sexes (which is scientifically inaccurate, and also disregards the difference between sex and gender). Rowling used this hashtag to make transphobic remarks.

And 2020. Rowling comes back and plays victim. Claims that those of us using the term “TERF” (trans exclusionary radical feminist) are using a slur and being mysoginistic. She makes claims that are not from viable sources, and cherry picks quotes from viable sources that seem to defend her position. However, if you read the whole source and take it for what it is, the science does not back her. Rowling continues to claim that trans women and non-binary individuals don’t experience the levels of oppression that cis-women face, thus, “explaining” why she doesn’t believe trans women belong in feminist views.

The view that women exist to make babies is inherently patriarchal. Furthermore, it’s transphobic and ableist. Women are not baby-makers. Not all women menstruate, and not all who menstruate are women.

Feminism is intersectional. It includes trans-women, women of color, disabled women, non-binary individuals. It includes all women.

In conclusion, JK Rowling is a TERF.

[trickstarbrave]

some of yall...... get rly weird w kids dating. obv their are lines that can be crossed, upperclassman should stay away from fucking freshman, if ur 17 theres no reason ur partner should be 14/15 (I saw fuckign 18 year old seniors datin 14 year old freshman and EVERYONE thought it was fuckin nasty and i wish someone stopped his ass), and you shouldnt have sex as a minor and no older partner should ever tell you to do so. 

but being in college does not automatically make u more mature. some college kids still live w their parents (i knew a BUNCH of community college kids who did), some college kids are still dependent on their parents, not even half of college kids can drive and have a car, sure a lot of them focus on buying their own groceries and have to get their own asses up to class but i can tell you certainly college freshmen are fucking disasters and really are just high school kids but nervous as all hell and dont figure out what the fuck theyre doing until half way thru sophomore year at the earliest. 

if someone is in late high school and the other has just started college they arent necessarily worlds apart in terms of maturity to just date. no i dont think anyone in college should go to a high school, thats weird (unless u like work there. i kno teachers aids and cafeteria workers who have worked at high schools while going to college) but like.... if someone is 18 and in hs and another is 18 and in college......... it isnt a predatory relationship by virtue of college. i 100% can assure you underclassman in college are still fucking children. you can spot em a mile a way. i have more in common with my classmates who have children than i do 18 year olds. i had more in common with high schoolers when i was an underclassman. i dated my partner when he was a couple of years older than me (we didnt have a sexual relationship until i was in college) and he skipped a grade, still lived w his parents, was dependent on them for years, and still doesn’t know how to drive. if you’re measure our maturity in “can buy groceries alone, can drive a car, and lives alone” i was more ‘mature’ than him despite being younger.

but my point here is what makes a relationship super predatory isnt even being able to drive a car or living alone or paying bills. high school students can pay rent and drive a car and have a job and i dont think an adult my age should be fucking around with them. no i dont mean to call anyone who was 16-17 and had an 18 year old sexually abusing them is a liar (THEY ARENT. minors STILL CANT CONSENT TO SEX, if your force your younger partner to have sex w u/take pictures/role play sexual shit with u ur a monster plain and simple). i dont mean to say an 18 year old can date a fucking 30 year old or above and that not be kind of predatory. what im saying is some of yall get rly weird and say shit like “two 18 year olds shouldnt be in a relationship unless theyre both in high school in which case its predatory and borderline pedophilia, bc one is an ‘adult’ and the other is a complete ‘child’”. the ages of 16-19 are weird. theyre the true teenage years where you’re certainly not a ‘real adult’ and also not a complete child. having a relationship w another kid in that age group within 2 years of u doesnt automatically make the older party member a pedophile by virtue of dating them. because an 18 year old college student has more in common with their 17 year old hs partner who is literally preparing to go to college themselves, taking tests to go to college, and applying for colleges while picking out a major. especially its not predatory if they both knew each other in high school. 

this isnt a hard and fast rule like i said. this is a weird age where a relationship can easily be sketchy or it can not be. but acting like you can accurately measure “maturity” at this age is a laugh. i remember being that age and from 16-19 and whether it was in high school or going to college it was a wreck. i still had no idea what i was doing, no idea about the ‘real world’, had trouble understanding how to meal plan and got nervous buying gas. im 22 now and i barely qualify as a ‘mature adult’ and i know for a fact 18 year olds do not magically become more nature when they enter college. if you said “i dont think a 16 y/o and an 18 y/o should date” id say fine. but sometimes u gotta chill out and i say this as a csa victim. ive seen multiple ppl go thru sexual abuse at that age too. i will say ppl take sexual abuse less seriously at that age by far and its such a shame. but u cant magically determine ‘maturity’ like that. and u gotta stop hyper fixating on the ages of hypothetical kids dating or kids’ relationships in media when they arent that far apart in age or maturity. like dial it back. remember u probably werent magically fucking mature the second u graduated hs or got ur drivers license. kno theres lots of mature adults who live at home and dont got a license who shouldnt be dating 17 y/os bc theyre fucking mentally mature adults who dont have the same types of relationships as hs kids or kids coming out of hs. chill a bit and think abt other shit 

[survivorindia]

Disturbing Patrons with my Mental Breakdown- Kendall (Episode 8)

Okay, soooo. I'm pretty sure all of the returnees threw the challenge RIGHT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW in order to vote out the minority newbies... Aka me.... So, I'm pretty pissed off as it's evident that I'm the only one who actually TRIED at this challenge, when I clearly shouldn't have because I'm extremely sick with strep and should be sleeping all day. SOOO, that was a huge waste of my time and I'm pretty pissed about it... But it's fine, bitches. Satan will see you in hell <3 :*

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WE JUST THREW THE CHALLENGE. I have never thrown a challenge before and that was terrifying. If this backfires on me i'm gonna look like a moron but I have good faith. Hopefully bye bye Ruben, Worst case scenario bye bye Casey, Worst-Worst case scenario bye bye allies, and Worst-Worst-Worst case scenario bye bye Jordan

i definitely picked my tribe with the intention of screwing someone over. i think things have revealed themselves nicely on where loyalties still lie, and while one or two people might think they're in the driver's seat, i'm in a good position to shift the gears without them noticing. and that means their car will crash and we all die. hehe.  i'm prepared to make a move if we lose immunity, but im not letting that happen. i want to win this one just so i can be safe one more round. figure things out a little more. let tea spill. but i'm not going to let myself make the same mistakes and spill my guts to anyone willing to listen. i'll keep information to myself. i know i'm on the bottom of the returnees alliance and probably the newbies one, too. but i'm content for right now, because ultimately the returnees will start to fall. we'll be picked off one by one. dom wants to throw immunity, and sometimes its not a bad idea to do that, but this round, it needs to not happen. ruben will likely go home but i dont think he trusted me in the first place, so it's his time. sorry.

i'll take his position if he does. lexi needs a #2 and its between robin and myself. i respect robin bc they were there for me when i had no one else there for me. i feel like i've known them for years, but we just met and thats powerful. i have a powerful bond to this person. they're important to me. but this is also a game and i know my competition when i see it. if they have to go at my expense of making it another day, i'll do it.  idk if im still a villain or if im becoming a hero. i think that's up for determination. 

LOOOL WILD TRIBAL. BUH-BYE, JULIA. GLAD I DIDN'T SEE YOU AHAHAHAAAAA

This is oh so sweet. If everything goes well, bye bye, Ruben! This one's for Johnny.

Can i just say........ HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU JAIDEN FUCK YOU DOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY FUCK SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE JULIA LEFT. Lets get down to brief overview and how i feel about it  1) Julia gets voted off.....SO MAD 2) Alex, Dom, Jaiden are in clear alliance of three, split the tribes up so everyones pair is separated...so basically...jordan and I are gone, casey and ash, ruben and lexi ...u get the point. 3) They put me on a tribe to fuck me over...im gone when they make these tribes and I come back to the ugliest tribe ever. Jaiden. Robin. Dom. Lexi. Alexis. Ashley and I. Now Ash and I are just sitting there like.................................i – i- this plan is so obvious??!?!? and do those three boys think its not obvious their together and they did this on purpose to FUCK ME OVER!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! um why u so obsessed with me BACK OFF 4) Ashley calls me at work during the comp and TELLS ME DOM IS TRYING TO THROW THE COMPITITION..................to say that the reason hes doing that is to save casey....thats right CASEY. YA RIGHT DOM FUCK OFF WHO DO U THINK WE ARE..........................now lets talk about this because ...................bitch u really want to try me!?! I know those three boys arent as stupid as their moves are coming off!?!? but do they think this is believable!?!?!? Seriously? Im kinda confused because a) They vote julia equalling in jordan and i coming full force on them.....like if ur gonna go for the two headed snake ....dont go for its tail? Sorry but julia was just a number. Jordan and I are the ones who game talk together and as much as i hate playing with him...i love playing with him if that makes any sense. b) you want to throw a competition...to what? To get me out? um....do you underestimate jordan , kendall and I? Yea were on two different tribes but its clearly obvious im fucked over. As if they wouldnt throw this comp.  5) We win immunity....and you would think the way ppl were acting was as if we lost. But it was so obvious everyone of them threw that and im PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [7:00:19 PM] jaiden: that's fucking bullshit [7:00:24 PM] jaiden: I went back and CORRECTED myself [7:00:26 PM] jaiden: i'm pissed [7:00:36 PM] jaiden: I'm glad we won but FUCK. THAT. [7:09:57 PM] Sarah: ARENT U HA;PPPYYY [7:10:00 PM] Sarah: YUHJGEDSXF [7:10:08 PM] jaiden: that would've been sooooooo bad sarah [7:10:19 PM] jaiden: I would've felt like SHIT if we had to go to tribal all because I made a simple mistake ............Jaiden................You had the lowest score on our tribe. And you think i didnt know I was going if we lost?.... “Simple mistake” mhm HUNTY I BELIEVE U FOR SURE Now its kinda obvious what dom is doing and honestly......................................fuck u wtf do u think ur doing being a better player than me? I cant wait till i vote ur ass out. Please take it as a compliment Actually...wait  no fuck u binch face motherfuck i hate u anyways so i was thinking that if we lost immunity ...i could come up with a plan. Jordan gives me the idol, it will be publicly shared, Jaiden will immediately come to me freaking out because hes being a fake ass, asking if jordan gave me the idol...I will tell him (in confidence HAHHAHAHAHAHA) that jordan gave me a fake one and that i only did it so people are scared to vote me out. He'll tell dom so they dont switch votes on Ashley. Then when I get majority votes ill idol out my votes, ashley puts one vote on me, i put one vote on dom so it ties. So if dom plays his idol it will be WASTED ANYWAYS. But if they split votes then ill be safe who cares if ashley goes home. Because im safe and in f13!!!!!!!!!! and hopefully merge happens soon so i can stop doing this. But its ok bc im gonna pray kendall and jordan throw the next comp. Honestly I love Kendall so much I want a f2 with her now that Julia is gone. So watch out for that in the future. http://i.imgur.com/D8kFHyf.gif DONT MESS WITH ME I WILL SELL MY SOUL JUST TO MAKE SURE I MAKE MERGE

Candle added Jordan Pines to this conversation.  From: Candle Jordan you know I adore you Sent on: 2:10 pm  From: Jordan Pines oh no Sent on: 2:10 pm  From: Candle But if you want to make a group chat, do it yourself Sent on: 2:10 pm From: Candle From: Jordan Pines hahahaha Sent on: 2:10 pm From: Jordan Pines this callout XDDDDDD Sent on: 2:10 pm  I couldn't have said that better myself Sent From: Candle Kay well I’ve made my point so get off my lawn you damn youngings Sent on: 2:11 pm Candle has removed Jordan Pines from this conversation Candle has removed Gavin from this conversation  AYYYYYYYE. YES. KENDALL. YES.

I hate getting lied to at Tribal Councils, but Julia left which is actually a good thing and kind of my fault oops. It's Kendall all over again in Malaysia. 

 But yeah, things got messy but I got to pick my tribe for the tribe swap. Jaiden and I got on call and decided we were going to split everyone up (Sarah/Jordan, Ruben/Lexi, Casey/Dom), so that's really fun and exciting. It'll be neat to see how everything goes with the pairs being split. Gavin and I are still together which is sweet. 

 I'm pissed about the vote count at Tribal. Jaiden ruined my no vote streak, but at least he did it on Day 87 for me not getting votes, which is my favorite number. 

I haven't been having fun in India and I never really knew why. It wasn't as though I was losing, it wasn't as though I was in any danger. I was just bored... it felt like something was missing, aside from my soul. So I had a heart to heart with myself over a cup of coffee. I went up to me and said "Me, what's wrong? I've been acting sadder then I usually am, what's wrong egg?" I simply gave myself a shrug and sadly responded "I dunno, I really want to have fun but something is missing... it feels like I am going through the motions," I gave myself a sad sigh. "Oh me, what am I going to with I? How am I going to win a game that I don't have the will to even play," It was at this time I was politely, but sternly, asked to leave by the Starbuck's Barista because I was "disturbing patrons with my mental breakdown," Which was bullshit by the way, I've had like 6 mental breakdown and they are not nearly as tame as me talking to myself. And so, as I argued with the barista and as threatened to call the cops, I had a realization. I have been experiencing the human emotion known as 'pouting'. I have given up because I felt like I had no opportunity to get to the end, that I was either going to get dragged as a goat or voted pre merge. But I have things I can use to my advantage. I don't have to lie down and play dead. If I just pretend to be a good little soldier until merge, reconvene with Sarah and some others, I could do something incredible. For now I just need to play nice. I have decided to stick with my allies. Not because I suddenly grew a brain. Not because I felt some sort of kinship with them or 'friendship'. It's just the best thing I can do Here is an elaboratation on my reasoning the form of a chart: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qPAkC4IhbNWgE2II29QqNaQFR1rgckfBEK_yKCOat5A/edit?usp=sharing 

Oh right, I almost forgot to mention during my ego maniacal ramblings. We are going to probably through the challenge to save Sarah (For strictly strategic purposes... I promise). I say probably because nothing has been confirmed. TBH if we lose, even if it is unintentionally, I'm about 80% sure Jordan Pines will claim that he meant to do it. Welp that's a common side effect of working with a narcissist. What are you gonna do?

Okay so FUCK this tribe swap. I am literally stuck on a tribe of people I have like never even spoken to, that is my fault of course, but damn how did I get so unlucky? Jaiden says he chose me because I am good in challenges and that I am a nice person, I mean that is nice and all but I am now separated from Gavin, Jordan, Alex, literally anyone who I actually liked and was hoping to really get to work with. This counting challenge is also a goddamn mess. Dom has gotten us like -25,000 points already ON PURPOSE. He tells me he likes me and isn't coming after me, but that leaves only two other returnees on our tribe that he could go after; Jaiden and Sarah. Sarah is kind of certain that Jaiden and Dom are working together, which kind of goes against the whole "newbies vs. villains" thing they are trying to start. But who knows. I can only hope the guys on the other tribe will also try throwing some challenges to give Sarah and I a chance over here on this tribe. They don't want newbies to have majority either.

Jaiden picked me to be on his tribe so that was perfect because I really did not want to be on the other tribe. Lexi spoke to me a bit and let me know that Ruben talked highly of me and how she was fond of me for that reason Robin's nice Jaiden's cool and we've both wanted to be on the same tribe for quite a while now so that finally happened Ashley rarely ever speaks to me and forgets to reply constantly Sarah only now started talking to me a bit more since she believes she's in the minority and Jordan probably said she could flip me Dom is a bit suspicious at times but I believe he trusts me and that he wants to take the newbies far I lost it again last night after the results, I should have done my confessional then but everyone already assumes I'm already crazy so maybe we'll save that for later. I feel a bit more calm now but last night I wanted to request tribal and still do sort of but I don’t think it’s possible. I wish I threw the challenge since I hate when the other tribe gets what they want and I don’t want Ruben to go. I like this Lexi, Robin, Dom group going on so I am hoping to solidify that soon and I think they assume it’s newbies vs returnees still. I’m hoping that by some miracle, a returnee gets voted out and apparently Dom just handed Ruben an idol. I believe Jordan assumes I’m closest with him still and that’s why Sarah has been trying to talk to me more lmao! I like Jordan so we'll see where that goes but he's controlling a huge part of the game as of now. Sarah should have tried a bit earlier to speak to me because now it seems like desperation, but I’ll keep playing this middle role, it amuses me. Sarah said she only really talks to Ashley so that's nothing new since I assumed she was close with her from that returnee alliance before the swap. Here’s to hoping the next challenge is something easily thrown so we can finally say goodbye to Sarah or Ashley :)

That was honestly a messy challenge result. I don't necessarily blame anyone for throwing though. I didn't know I was in the negatives so I'm sure everyone probably made mistakes they didn't catch. I'm worried for Ruben. He's the only one from my old alliance on the other tribe. Dom gave him his idol though so he'll hopefully be safe. On another note, I've been talking to the other Lexi. To be honest, if started off because I confused her for lexi my ally. We're getting along pretty well. She's definitely someone I'd like to work with in the future. Jaiden's also pretty cool so I have my bases covered once we go to tribal