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#like im sure there’s probably some legal nonsense in the way of this but I will skirt around it
justanotherfanartist · 9 months
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if I ever become the creator of some really big hit series or creative work im gonna hire fanfiction writers of said thing to help me write the thing don’t let me forget guys hold me to it
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etheries1015 · 9 months
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I had sort of a crack idea of what would the non-human twst boys do if their crush or s/o was allergic to them? Savanaclaw and Octonivelle with like the fur allergy and seafood allergy. Maybe diasomnia’s s/o has some sort of fairy allergy? Sorry if this is too silly for you to write, it’s alright if you don’t 😭
I LOVE THIS BECAUSE I'VE HAD A SIMILAR THOUGHT i'm allergic to cats and i'm like...man what am I gonna do around Grim BUAHAHA...this is a great idea. Nothing is too silly to write my friend!
Non-human Twst boys reacting to a S/O who is allergic to them!
featuring: Savanaclaw and Octavinelle!
general warnings: gender neutral reader, not really proof read \
TW: None! just fluff. and allergies.
Leona
The first time you sneezed around him, they didn't know it was literally BECAUSE of him. This was until you two took a nap together for the first time, and when you woke up he saw your face...Oh, brother. Your eyes were puffy and red, congested, and your nose leaked like nobody's business. He genuinely felt bad about this, but wouldn't let you in on his true feelings/emotions. Without understanding the cause (though he had an inkling) he immediately took you to the doctor.
"They're allergic to me? What kind of shitty nonsense is that?!"
Leona invested in the most expensive of healthcare for you. Allergy pills and whatnot, because he wasn't about to sacrifice his lovely naps with his significant other. No amount of allergy is gonna stop him from getting what he wants, and that is your affection.
Ruggie
"Sooo...basically you're saying you're allergic to me? Cause' im part heyena?"
"It's a little more complicated than that. It's more like...animal dander? I guess?" You didn't seem to certain in your answer either, it was more or less a guess since...well, there wasn't half beast half human where you are from. You can only make an educated guess on why you're so allergic to him based off of the information you had back at home.
Ruggie is honestly so sad about this. He can't afford to get you any treatments or medical help with this, so you two just have to be careful. He does manage to get his hands on some special washing products (probably legally) and takes extra care of what he eats, and how clean he his. He's consistently brushing his hair and cleaning his ears.
"Man i'm such a simp. What's wrong with me?!" ...He isn't used to bending backward for people. But seeing you so sick around him, hurt him even more than his pride, so he of course would do anything to make sure you're as comfortable around him as possible. Ahh...the power of love <3
Jack
He gives me the "I must stay away from you for your own good," Type. Although this doesn't last very long. Jack is incredibly loyal, and he's far too attached to let you go. There's times where he would try and keep a distance (much to your annoyance), but when you began sneezing and itching your eyes you knew he was somewhere nearby. Jack is protective like that, but it pains his heart to see you so sick because of something he cannot control.
He does both a mix of what Ruggie and Leona does. He took up extra part-time jobs to afford good allergy medication for you, the entire works. Pills, eye drops, nasal sprays, breathing treatments...He also invests in high-quality shampoo and conditioner to help rid of his dander and hopefully reduce the amount of shedding he has.
With the amount of hair Jack has, he is CONSTANTLY brushing it and it is CONSTANTLY shedding. He does EVERYTHING under the sun to control this, all for you. Although... this is a partnership! You told him that a relationship goes two ways. You love him regardless of how itchy you may get, and you equally chip in to problem-solve.
You're both loyal to each other until the very end, no matter what trivial matters may get in your way <3
Azul
He knew before you two started dating that you had a severe allergy to seafood, so he made it a point to avoid you. But...that didn't stop YOU from coming to HIM. It was one of the things that drew him towards you, the way even though you were gaining a rash you would still wrap your arms around the back of him. Although it wasn't as bad in his human form, he was always terrified what would happen if he were to unleash his original form.
But worry not! We are talking about the literal king of potionology. He finds a remedy very quickly, and you trust him...a little too fast. He is astonished when he says;
"Take this...the second you drink this your allergies will be something of the past. But be warned-" You grabbed it out of his hand and chugged it. He stared at you with his jaw slacked open, his face turning a deep shade of hot red when you throw yourself onto Azul and place a big fat kiss against his cheek.
He imploded. But hey! his potion worked! He tried to get you to give him some sort of paypack, but you mentioned that your form of payment was in that kiss.
He now demands kisses every time he makes the potion for you <3 It's kind of a silent agreement. He just stares at you after you're done drinking it, and whenever you feign ignorance the point upon his lips is far too obvious.
Jade
The first time you broke out in hives, he remained completely calm. Jade is rather smart, and he understands your allergy must be because of his disposition as a mer-folk. Although in human form, he couldn't help but notice the way you would hide your rashes either behind makeup or by bulking clothing. He was amused by this for a moment, but when he saw it worsen he couldn't help but become worried.
"Why would you go so far for me? what do you gain by allowing yourself to become sick?" When you replied with a blush that you simply liked Jade, thus his shock soon turned into action. He excused himself for a few days to climb mountains and collect the most effective of flowers and medicinal remedies for allergies and put together a potion that you were able to take to alleviate your symptoms.
He isn't the vice house warden for nothing! His talents and magic prowess truly aided him, albeit in a way that was seemingly selfish. It was all worth it for you, though.
But he does use you as an example during a class project in potionology, having you stand up in front of the class while he compares your allergies before and after taking the potion.
He got a 100% in the project. And a Significant other. A win-win for everyone!
Floyd
Floyd is much smarter than he lets on. The moment he hugs you from behind and touches your arm, he notices the rash right away. He eyed it with a frown, and without saying anything he let go of you much to your dismay, leaving you to your lonesome for a few days on end.
You had to admit you missed Floyd, his silly jokes and way of talking, his unpredictable personality, and the attention he would often give y you. While sitting at the table during a free period, your head was propped up against your hand and a sad sigh escaping your lips.
"Ehhhh? Why is shrimpy sitting here all alone? Didya miss me?" A familiar voice teased as arms wrapped around you and something akin to a vegetable drink set in front of you. You gasped and smile up at the tall male, who wasn't wrapping his arms around you as you were used to, typically ignoring the itching of your rashes. He convinced you to drink what he sat in front of you, and although you eyed it with suspicion, you sighed and drank it in one gulp and tightly shut eyes.
Nothing happened. You turned to look over at Floyd, about to question the purpose of making you drink the (surprisingly tasty) smoothie-like liquid but were quickly interrupted by lips pressing against your own.
The kiss caught you off guard and you began to panic, talking about your allergy...before you realized that nothing was happening. No rash, no itchiness, nothing.
"Seeeee? It's a potion. I made Azul make it for me. Now I can touch you as much as I want," He smiled proudly. However he managed to convince Azul would forever be beyond you...
He forgets to give you the potion sometimes, only when you two are cuddling and a rash or itching pops up do the both of you realize it's time for a dose.
Ya'll are so silly for each other <3
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goblin-enjoyer · 10 months
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Normalize the tf2 mercs as being absolute genetic freaks of nature under the hood. Medic is crazy and we know he gets paid good so he’s probably got lots of bits in his bin if you know what I mean.
Pyro is straight up nonhuman. Pyro is a fire elemental that the Mann brothers have bound to a hazmat suit and medic made a real boy by giving them meat. Not making her a human body mind you, but rather every time he gets damaged, instead of bursting into flames meat forms around the wound and it bleeds instead of letting the inner crea tur out.how? Wizard. Moving on.
Soldier has massive lungs that make him 20% more louder. If he was smarter he could probably echolocate his way around. That or sound attacks idk he eats wizard pills he could have hollow bones for all I know. Sure he has hallow bones now for rocket jumping. Im the one typing I get to make nonsense on the fly.
Medic put pigeon dna in scout and that’s how he makes his trademark milk-like substance. How this happens you may ask? Scout saw medics doves have sex while getting his second Uber heart surgery and said “man I wish I could pick up chicks that well” and medic said “good idea I will help you with this” and then looked at the camera and smirked. The administrator does not spectate medics lab/operation room/dove breeding center anymore. Also scouts immune to radiation due to all the bonk he ingests, though sometimes he does become radioactive sometimes. 
We already know that demoman’s body creates alcohol and that he has a ghost eye, but did you know that if you shoot him with some sort of piercing explosive round he will combust into flames. I… I couldn’t really think of anything for demoman I don’t play him as much.
Engineer always wishes he could have kids, but doesn’t want to have sex. That and he removed most of his reproductive/unnecessary/extra/mid organs with machine parts like 30 years ago. So after the events of the games and comics where everyone is happy and junk, he teams up with medic to make himself some half robot half human half whatever dell conagher is at that point at time children. He asks if medic ever want kids he can do the same for him but he declines as at this point in time he has perfected the art of male impregnation.(on various ape parts) dell is a great father and yes I added this part because the whole humanized sentry thing that went around a while ago touched my heart because despite the words of almost every engineer main everywhere I get so attached to the sentries I build that I die a little bit inside every time I die and my buildings get sapped and I have to just watch as my babies get destroyed. I get too attached to my buildings to play engineer
Heavy doesn’t stop growing, similar to that of a reptile. His skin is as thick as a rhinos. He hibernates for a month in summer because I said so. He has accidentally killed/crushed medic before and is now eternally cautious when in bed with him. Medic doesn’t mind, he knows what he’s gotten himself into. Heavy can also talk to birds like a Disney princess. Medic didn’t add any bird parts for this to happen he just was always like this.
Sniper can dislocate every bone in his body and go through cracks that are at least the size of his head. He will use this to show up in the most unexpected places imaginable. Is legally classified as an tardigrade in some places due to his ability to be fine in almost any place (volcano,Arctic,sewer system, a walk in closet so large it took him 5 weeks to get out, space that one time). Can go up to a year without eating (the team found this out at the same time they figured out the space thing). Swallows things whole.
Spy can shift his flesh around to disguise as almost anything, keeps the mass and weight though. Breaths mostly through his skin so he doesn’t cough due to his decrepit lungs. Was hit by a car once. Doesn’t have anything to do with the subject matter of the tf2 mercs being freakish beings with human skin but I just wanted to include it here.
Medic. What isn’t medic? The only thing consistent with his biology is that he can regenerate somehow. He alters his body so much that it is roughly equivalent to 1 tyranid hive fleet and 2,million ork painboys.(the tf2 mercs would be more likely to work for the orks than to ever work for one of the human factions in 40k and I just needed to get that off my chest) This is how he manages to get away with all the things he’s done. Banned from this continent? Just become a new person who’s not banned from that continent and presto you’re good! The laws don’t account for the ship of Theseus!
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so you said that about ik's kidification you might end up writing the side characters in the future, and in the meantime, im here to share my headcanons bc its been engulfing my thoughts for days.
i personally think luke's reaction would be pretty funny because now ik, the only person in the devildom his size, is now Smol and Tiny and also very Babey. he is bluescreening, he does not know what to do. doesnt know how to answer her kid questions, so he'll pass her off to simeon.
simeon is signing adoption papers as we speak. he is like asmo in that he internally bluescreens so hard when he sees her. also takes her kid questions very seriously, and will carry her just about anywhere.
solomon is gonna be that fun uncle that lets you do stupid stuff and eat dirt or whatever, and just laughs in the face of chaos. (lucifer is losing his sanity). solomon responds in the most chaotic and nonsensical way to her questions, or he gets a mad scientist look in his eyes and is like "lets find out" (lucifer has now banned him from interacting with kid ik unsupervised. doesn't stop the man in the slightest. also dont tell anyone but he'd also put on magic shows for ik and would be a total show-off about it to her. anyone who finds out suddenly and mysteriously disappears)
i'll be sure to do some notes for the side characters with kidified ik, since it was so fun to write the brothers! since it'll probably be a week or two before then, though, allow me to address your own hcs real quick:
luke: definitely blue screens so hard as soon as he realises what's going on, but also would be v happy to like play and draw with ik!!also the more innocent of her kid questions he can manage, it's once she starts heading into either absurd or dread-inducing territory that he goes 'uuhhh actuALLY I THINK YOU SHOULD GO SEE SIMEON'. he bakes so many things for her and she says she loves absolutely everything and luke basically glows with pride
simeon: if he has not legally adopted this tiny child within twenty four hours he is GOING to blow something up. (good luck with that custody battle, buddy, you've got like five competitors). yes he is like asmo, he nearly bursts into tears nearly every time he lays eyes on her for the first few hours. oh and he is SO happy to like hold ik high up in the air and go "you're flying!!!" and then ik will spread her arms and go ''i'm flying!!!!' and now simeon's crying even harder
solomon: [lucifer voice] i am so damn tired. ik will ask him whether he could fly by tying a bunch of balloons to himself, and he'll immediately be hauling her off to the shop to buy 9383398 packets of party balloons like "LET'S FIND OUT!". lucifer has to physically restrain him at times while urgently yelling at beel to get ik out of there
also solomon gets such an ego trip from ik thinking literally any trick he does is the coolest thing ever. he's like "i pull THIS giant teddy bear from THIS tiny cup" and she goes "WOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOOHH" and solomon's internally going [punches air] 'i am the MAN'. he does a thing where he's like "ik you think i'm the coolest one right? right?" and ik replies "yeah!!" because he just gave her the giant teddy bear he magicked up, so solomon goes "and you like me best, right?" and ik just goes along with it like "yeah!!!!", and then solomon immediately calls everyone else like "GUESS WHAT IK JUST SAID"
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obeiii-mee · 4 years
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Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!
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This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)
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The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:
Lucifer:
-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived
-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable
-Not to mention all the treatment you would require
-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there
-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake
-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair
-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house
-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs
-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year
-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis
-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)
-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break
-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom
-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you
-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you
-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case
-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears
-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you
-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back
-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare
-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha
-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay
-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need
-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol
Mammon:
-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first
-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human
-“Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”
-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that
-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for
-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?
-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though
-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around
-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN
-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it
-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am
-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions
-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:
-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”
-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh
-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs
-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad
-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”
-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too
-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving
-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad
-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”
-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones
-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often
Levi:
-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom
-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year
-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot
-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often
-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you
-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him
-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”
-“The answer is no Leviathan.”
-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“
-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around
-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all
-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch
-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him
-Usually left out by other people, ignored even
-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself
-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking
-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’
-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)
-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !
-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven
-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans
-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being
-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure
-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol
-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it
-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-
-OK Levi, sit back down
-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything
-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room
-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe
Satan:
-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense
-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)
-He’s a smart boy, alright?
-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you
-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get
-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰🥰
-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way
-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)
-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help
-But in a subtle way...?
-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside
-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here
-He wants to know how your wheelchair works
-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before
-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself
-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like
-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon
-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain
-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish
-But when others purposefully try harming you?
-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage
-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings
-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything
-You’re strong and he knows this
-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you
-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing
Asmo:
-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life
-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way
-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time
-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around
-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual
-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get
-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go
-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously
-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you
-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together
-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”
-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes
-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room
-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day
-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times
-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not
-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life
-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries
-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career
-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)
-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(
Beel:
-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances
-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is
-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius
-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?
-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around
-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(
-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way
-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so
-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best
-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him
-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help
-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’
-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most
-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”
-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound
-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt
-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do
-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough
-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times
-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself
-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation
-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair
-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what
Belphie:
-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak
-It didn’t matter that you had a disability
-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him
-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first
-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs
-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all
-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby
-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer
-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you
-Do not let him push you around
-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls
-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off
-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that
-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole
-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him
-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not
-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer
-But he doesn’t care
-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there
-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD
-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over
-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”
-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”
-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often
-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house
-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌
———————————
Al~
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dessarious · 4 years
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Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt94
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Marinette could honestly say she hadn’t been this relaxed since before she became Ladybug. She was leaning against Chloe as they sat on the couch while Selina asked them and Luka questions about themselves. At least when she and Damian weren’t trading barbs. It was so… normal in a way. She didn’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing and outing herself. She wasn’t waiting for the next Akuma attack or worrying about keeping everyone around her calm so they weren’t the next victim. She wasn’t hiding anything from the people in this room and that made all the difference.
“Oh I assure you there is nothing more entertaining than watching Tim try and explain a cold case to the toaster at three in the morning.” Selina’s eyes were shining with repressed laughter but Damian rolled his eyes.
“If by entertaining you mean pathetic. But if that’s your gauge for entertaining I vote the time Todd shot himself because he was doing target practice and forgot to switch out his rubber bullets with live ammo.”
“I think I missed that one.”
“I still have the tape if you want to watch. Watching him fire off five rounds and then scream like a little girl as they come back at him is well worth the time.” Selina was still laughing when there was a knock at the door.
“It’s probably Daddy coming to lecture me about something.” Chloe sounded resigned and Marinette’s temper flared.
“I’ll handle it. He won’t risk pissing off Bruce Wayne’s fiance.” Selina jerked the door open before blinking in surprise at the person on the other side. “Can I help you?”
“I’m here to talk to Chloe.” Marinette looked at Chloe in confusion and saw a matching, slightly more pissed off, expression as she recognized Adrien’s voice. As far as she knew they hadn’t talked since Chloe transferred. When Selina looked back and raised an eyebrow Chloe hesitated before nodding. Marinette could feel the tension radiating off of her. Adrien stepped past the woman and stopped immediately. It was obvious he hadn’t expected so many people.
“What do you want Agreste?” The open hostility in her tone caused Marinette to wince. Even if it was his own actions that ultimately led to the rift she still felt bad that she was the focal point that made them both lose their oldest friend.
“Can we talk in private?” He wouldn’t look anyone in the eye and his tone was off. Chloe must have heard it too.
“Anything you have to say to me can be said in front of everyone here.” He looked like he was going to argue, but ended up letting out an irritated sigh.
“Fine. I need your help to get in contact with Ladybug.” Marinette tensed and she felt Chloe’s arms tighten around her.
“Absolutely not.” Adrien actually glared at her.
“Why do you want to contact Ladybug?” He transferred his glare to her and Marinette could feel a growl starting in Chloe’s chest. She pinched the other girl’s arm as a warning. She had no idea who Chat Noir had been and Marinette didn’t want to risk Adrien recognizing Plagg’s influence.
“It’s personal.” Marinette actually shuddered. She honestly didn’t think she could deal with him coming on to her without physically assaulting him at this point.
“If you won’t say what you want I’m not going to bother Ladybug about it. She’s got more than enough to deal with without your nonsense.” Chloe’s imperious tone was a front and Marinette studied Adrien as he pouted at the floor. It wasn’t what she expected though she couldn’t say exactly why.
“Look, I get that you all hate me because my father turned out to be Hawkmoth.”
“No one here hates you because of that Adrien.” She tried to make her voice gentle but she could hear the strain in it.
“No, we hate you because you are a self serving asshole with no real concept of empathy.” Everyone in the room frowned at Damian. He wasn’t wrong, it was just a bit hypocritical for him of all people to be pointing that out.
“I need to talk to Ladybug to see if she can help my mother. For some reason when Nathalie told her about my father she forgot to mention that my mother was never actually missing. She’s in a secret room, in a coma because of the Peafowl Miraculous. She only told me after she was certain Father wasn’t going to get out on bail.” He mumbled the words to the floor and just about everyone inhaled sharply at the information. Yeah, all she’d told them was that Gabriel was trying to get his wife back.
“So what, you think Ladybug will let you make the wish your father wanted?” Chloe sounded more confused than hostile at least.
“No. I’m well aware she won’t risk that. She might be able to help her though since it was a Miraculous that caused the damage. That or she might know someone who can. Either way I have to try.” He sounded so… lost. For all he’d made her life miserable, on both sides of the mask, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He’d lost everything.
“We’ll make sure your message gets to her.” Marinette felt Chloe tense behind her again and started rubbing soothing circles into her forearm. This was something she needed to do, and not for Adrien. The truth was that Mme. Agreste didn’t deserve to continue to suffer because of the things her husband or son did.
“Thank you. And Damian could you have your father contact me when it’s convenient?” Damian just scowled at him.
“Why?”
“My mother was never declared legally dead and she has her own shares in Gabriel. Given everything, if she wakes she’ll likely want to sell them. If she doesn’t they’ll go to me and I certainly don’t want anything to do with the company.”
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softer-ua · 4 years
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in regards to what you pointed out a few posts ago, ngl one of my least favorite fandom things is when they make Kaminari the Har Har Stupid Joking ADHD Bi Playboy Who Is Never Serious Trope. like, he's very smart, 'worst in ___ area of a UA course' is very impressive and I don't remember if it even said that or just that he was studying with some other students, worried about his grades overall, calls himself stupid with implied insecurities about it, and didn't think he was very smart compared to the other people in the course. quirk overuse makes him loopy, incoherent, and think everything's funny. and yeah, he's a bit of a flirt and made a few perverted comments and actions that he clearly didn't think through that well. I'm pretty sure he's not ever stated to be bi in the manga because it was written by a coward, so I think people should think more about why they're associating and pairing together the idea of "hot flirty playboy who if legally able would sleep with everyone he meets" with emphasis or joke in the captions of whatever the content is on him being bi. I don't think this is inherently bad, even put together, but the execution feels kind of :/ and shallow. and I mainly just wish they'd pause to consider if there's any reason (subconscious or intentional) why one of those makes them think about the other, and at the very least lean back to see if they're blatantly making those traits centric around each other and tweak how they're showing them a little. Part of this is also because it's basically his fanon sexuality, but then they stick together "oh he's bi and everyone thinks that" and "he's made flirty or perverted comments and actions in canon at some point" and then mentally exaggerate and have this Canon Image of him as *waves hand at above* and I don't think that's happening consciously in most cases but. again. Cookiecutter Bi Party Playboy Who's Made a Date Offer to Everyone In The Building. not a flirty Person or a Playboy who is bi and flirts with more than one genders
I myself headcanon him as adhd and while the exact sexuality depends on my mood I think of/have him as bi in a lot of my content, but it's the same thing with why non adhd people see how he acts and label "adhd!" Especially about comprehension speed and derpy acting and intelligence and attention span jokes/tropes. Again, not bad in and of itself, but the specific parts of his behavior that make them think he's adhd, or that they start making jokes about or Ha Ha ADHD'ing, or that they think is why we project ADHD on him, (which they aren't necessarily wrong about, but like right in a really disrespectful look at how funny this is oh look squirrel way that's only funny when adhd people are doing it and it isn't all mocking like that) when they see other people calling him adhd, are the wrong ones, I think, and it shows in their characterization of him.
I'm not saying that any of those traits are bad in a character, but as a queer adhd girl with very high annual test scores and Gifted Kid Intelligence but extremely poor grades, focus, and brain damage (admittedly nothing like his, it was a longterm passive thing that mainly just made me have a Lot of Really Bad headaches, and closest thing it did to me was make me sluggish and emotional on bad days and also techincally have the potential kill my language bit if left untreated or the surgery messed up, which it didn't, and it won't be a problem again. but even after explaining that it wasn't cancer or any sort of tumor, and after seeing it do very little at all to affect my behavior outside of irritability and performance, because y'know, constant migraines, gone after the surgery but this was before that, Certain People I Was Vaguely Kind Of Acquaintances With started to treat my like I was a fragile glass thing going to to drop dead and revive myself speaking like a comic relief cartoon crazy person at any moment which was. patronizing.) I've since had surgery for, the way the fandom combines them into stereotypes and portrays them really just rubs me the wrong way- "Flirty Bi(tm) Playboy" "Har Har ADHD Can't Focus Or Get Things After They're Explained To Him, He's Still Confused And An Idiot" "Stupid Person With Brain Damage Who Can't Take Care Of Or Think For Themself And Acts Stupid And Funny For People To Laugh At" which tbh is super ableist even and especially when people irl do fit that description, and also reminds me of the Autistic Person Freaking Out And Being Dramatic sense of humor. And I know it's not helped by canon, because it done for comic relief and to limit his powers, but explored more I think it as a limitation could have been used way more interestingly than canon did and also call me biased but that quirk induced brain frying sounds at least as concerning as Izuku's quirk's backlash.
And it's a shame!! Because he's so much more interesting than that! Instead, the fandom gives me the Cookicutter Funny Bi ADHD Flirt Who's An Idiot and I am sad about it.
tbh it reminds me of what happened to percy jackson, esp with the ADHD Idiot Trope thing. which sucks because apparently it originated in the author making up stories around characters like his adhd and dyslexic kid inspired by Greek myths to tell him after running out of actual myths because it was his special interest and he wanted more. and then the series got kind of all over the place and the fandom processed that the adhd and dyslexic main character who does dumb things sometimes but is very combat smart and great at strategizing and leading gets bad grades and has trouble focusing and has, y'know, adhd, and made him the ADHD Idiot and erased his Gifted Kid girl friend's traits and ADHD and dyslexia into No Nonsense Calls Him an Idiot And Thinks He's Stupid And Has To Tell Him What To Do And Manage His Life For Him and honestly that just kind of sucks and it reminds me of what happened to fandom Kaminari. and now that I think of it people have jirou like that around him a lot too.
im fine with you answering this publicly if you want or have something to add but probably tag as ableism and maybe a biphobia mention content warning for people who don't have the energy to deal with thinking about those kinds of negative things rn because I kind of Went Off About It
I love this! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences 💚(and double thank you for tag suggestions)💚
I couldn’t agree more that a lot of fandom has messed up Kami’s character, which is why I’ve kinda been posting more about him cause he’s just stuck in my head.
I think a lot of fandoms have trouble with characters like this, people have a hard time with duality in characters and fast/fun posts are easier to make if you flatten a character down.
The did it to Kami, they did it to Percy, they did it to Ron Weasley, they do it to Thor, the list goes on. If being the Smart One ™️ isn’t your thing and you can be goofy than you get pigeonholed into the idiot trope.
I feel for Kami a lot(probably because I have adhd/brain damage too)
It sucks when you’re smart but it’s not the traditional, measurable kind of smart(even if by national comparison Kami technically is).
I got terrible grades growing up, and I pretty much got the absolute lowest gpa you can get and still graduate. But absolutely no one would have known if I didn’t tell them, because I’m not dumb.
(It’s okay if you are “dumb”, I love me a head empty just vibes friend. You’re 100% valid, stil worthy of joining discussions, and should be listened to and taken seriously. This just isn’t about that tho)
I joke sometimes that I’m clever and witty but not smart, because that’s exactly what it feels like.
I have lots of thoughts and ideas that I think I articulate pretty well, I am excellent at finding the humor in things and expressing it in a way that’s funny to others too, and there is almost zero problems I can’t find a work around. And the people in my life love it, and they love to use it.
But eventually everyone in my life finds out that I’m not smart. They see the way I have to pause to Google how to calculate a tip, that I don’t know the name of all 50 states or even where to find them on a map, or I legitimately just can not spell (if you ever see a post where it looks like I used a weird word choice it’s probably because I tried 4 times and autocorrect+Google couldn’t help me and voice to text wasn’t an option)
No one ever questions my intelligence until they find out about my adhd and/or catch me struggling with it. After the mask comes off it’s like they can’t even hear me anymore, nothing I say could be true or matter because I’m now just the goofy accident prone spacy girl. My family literally calls me Spacy
And ya know what sometimes I just let people think that because it’s easier, it’s easier than explaining that I’m dyslexic and that I didn’t have a single geography/history clas until 10th grade and shocker the capital of Iowa doesn’t come up much by then. And it’s easier for me to laugh off losing my keys again than dwell on the fact that sometimes it feels like I’m losing my marbles.
And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if after this post I get a lot more “fact checkers” and push back on anything else I post.(not talking about people who want to genuinely engage,y’all are always welcome, I’m talking those people who don’t wanna look it up themselves but no longer trust me to know what I’m talking about)
Kami is a sweet brilliant boy. He’s in a nationally high ranking school, he loves the weather channel, he’s careful about his quirk that could easily hurt his friends in combat, he has a very high emotional intelligence level, he wears dorky shirts with electricity puns on them, and he pays attention to his friends and remembers a lot of little things about them.
He wants to be a hero and he takes that seriously, and the series has tried time and time again to tell y’all that smiling and laughter are an important part of that. Kami excels at this part! So what if his history grades don’t rival the top of the class, the top 5 students would struggle hard to do what Kami does.
Iida can’t relax, Momos rather shy, Todo struggles with social cues, Midoriya is canonically not funny, and jfc where to even begin with Katsuki. I’m certain they’ll all grow up to be excellent heros in their own right, but none of them are going to bring the level of joy and camaraderie that Denki can. You can’t test that into someone.
Kami also just notices people differently and has any easy way of joining in with them, he doesn’t struggle approaching Katsuki or Shinso. Sure he doesn’t hit the the nail on the head the same way Deku does but he’s the only one who has the guts and skills to try. Also he’s not that kinda friend, he’s not looking to a save these guys but pal around with them
I think Kami 100% realizes what a special case and tough nut to crack Bakugo is, I don’t think he’s just careless or too dumb realize his life’s at stake or whatever.
I think he’s purposely testing Bakugos boundaries all while trying to not be a threat to Katsukis actual ego and calling Bakugo out when he needs it in a way that not to serious. Kami knows how to be just goofy enough that he’s approachable. He’s also keyed in that the way to Bakugo is through Deku, meanwhile everyone else is stuck believing the opposite.
Kami also realized how important music is to Jiro and saw an opportunity to let her display her skills and combin the two worlds she lives, and he wasn’t afraid to get some back lash from her for it.
Like Deku Kami isn’t afraid to be uncomfortable. You really can’t teach that level of social ease, you can teach the posture and feed people a couple of lines but it’ll never hit the same. Funny approachable people have spent a lifetime learning the craft, usually out of necessity.
It’s actually what gives me the biggest adhd vibes from him, because adhd is (speculated to be) a dopamine deficiency disorder. People with adhd are constantly trying to raise their dopamine levels, and that means looking for praise and reward and nothing makes the human brain light up faster than postative human connections.
Adhd children struggle a lot with connecting with peers and often find making people laugh a fast way into people’s circles and makes it more likely people will overlook being interrupted or spaced out on.
Also adhd people are pretty much forced by their own brain structures to be genuine in all they do, low dopamine levels make it very hard to do things you don’t enjoy because there no promise of dopamine from the activity and you don’t have enough to spare, plus impulsiveness makes it really hard to not show when you do or don’t enjoy something.
I agree that Kami is also painted as overly perverted at times, he’s a little flirty but in a fun casual way but it’s not the foundation of his personality and it’s really mellowed out over the course of the series.
And while I subscribe to the bi hc from his interactions with Jiro and Shinso, we should all be very mindful that we don’t lump these characteristics together. The are separate facets of his personality that are not dependent on each other in anyway.
Kami deserves all the respect and love, I can’t wait to see our electric king again 🖤⚡️🖤
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at long last, spirit of justice gets its due and we have finished all the ace attorney games. i had fun! without further ado, my thoughts
- this was a MUCH better game than i thought it would be, coming off of dual destinies and a lot of people sighing about how not-as-good the 3ds ace attorneys are compared to their predecessors. it’s in the top half of the ranking list i’ll be putting together shortly, i’ll say that much.
- strangely i think this game is better when it’s not... following the plot. don’t get me wrong, there were bits here and there about the overarching Fuck The DC Act plot that the game is structured around that i liked a lot but cases 2 and 4, ostensibly the filler cases, are my favorite in the game, and actually some of my favorite cases in the whole series. the DLC case wasn’t bad either, though I don’t think it was as good as the one with the orca.
- of the cases that did deal with the DC Act plot, 1 was your typically uninteresting opening refresher case (although.... metal monk jesus is such good character design), 3 was very weirdly and nonsensically convoluted at times but had an ending that stuck with me and still sticks with me, and 5 is probably the overall best of them.
- if i’m not mistaken, case 3 marks the first time in ace attorney where someone who they thought was murdered actually committed suicide, and not the other way around. that struck me as very indicative of just how completely fucked the legal system is in khurain, that this is a tragedy on many different levels.
- as grating and annoying as politician was (no im not spelling his name the right way thats how little i care) i thought putting civil law into ace attorney was actually quite fun. going forward it’d be cool if they started including more cases like it, introduce some new defense attorneys instead of a constant stream of new prosecutors. after all, kristoph was a defense attorney, and he’s one of my favorites in the series.
- when datz revealed himself for the first time i thought to myself ‘if they end up killing him i’m going to be so SO sad’. they granted my wish but they took dhurke instead so i’m not sure what to feel. why can’t apollo have family, capcom?? why?
- uendo toneido is that one character that only appears in one case as a witness that i’m doomed to love way more than i should for the rest of my life. 
- nahyuta is my second least favorite of the prosecutors but i don’t feel like that’s his fault. it’s a shame that the nature of the final plot twists in case 5 precludes us seeing the REAL him for most of the game, i’d really like to just. know more about him when he’s not under ga’ran’s thumb. anecdotes from dhurke, who’s been estranged from him for some time, aren’t really indicative.
- controversial opinion but i like the idea of apollo staying in khurain with his brother for a while. opens up a lot of new Literary Possibilities like maybe apollo can have another game all to himself for once.
- when is aa7, capcom.
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sugaxjpg · 6 years
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02 | blank check; m
⤷ “Let me get this right, okay? You threw my name in as your fake girlfriend because you needed to prove yourself to your empty-headed friends, and now you need to fix it. Still,” you paused, raising your eyebrows, “your way of fixing is not to disclose it as a lie, but to cover it up with an even bigger and riskier one. Is that correct?”
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⤷ PART 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 |Co-written with @pantaemonium
✓ Couple: Jungkook x Reader | Fuckboy!AU & FakeDating!AU
✓ Filed under: smut, tragic comebacks
✓ Words:  8,048
Author’s Note: Hello, everyone! Before anything else, Laura and I would like to thank you all for the overwhelming support we’ve received for part one. We are beyond thrilled that you guys are liking this series as much as we are!! Without further ado, let’s get down to business (to defend the huns).
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“There is no way in hell I’m wearing this, you hear me?” you screamed against the phone for the third time in less than ten seconds. A high-pitched ding indicated the audio had been sent, and that was your signal to toss the device aside. Jungkook would not listen to it, like he had not listened to the other ten voice messages you had blessed his chatroom with.
The last message you had received from him had been short and dry, more of a user’s guide than a text. It exhibited his advanced SAT vocabulary and his outstanding talent to be concise. Lambda Kappa Pi. 11pm. Say you’re my girl and they’ll get you in. Good luck with the dress.
My girl, as if there was a dimension out of the multiverse you had been thrown into in which you would say such nonsense. My girl, your brain echoed, this time in his voice, that you imagined would be hoarse and whiny during sex. No, no, that was not an image you wanted in your mind.
“Hey, I’m Jungkook’s girl,” you spoke as you imagined yourself babbling at the entrance of the frat house, clad in that skin-tight little red dress. Imagination is a very powerful weapon to use against oneself, and it immediately transfigured you into a Legally Blonde character, one of the sweethearts from Delta Nu but with no rich daddy, no fake tanning, and no equilibrium to stand over the sky-challenging high-heels he had sent along with the dress.
You’d look far more like a clown that had just ran away from the circus, that’s for sure.
You clenched your jaw at the absurdity of that idea, ignoring the butterflies that begun dancing in your stomach. His girl. Stupid ass. You would never do something like th—
—Ding!
In a reflex, you practically threw yourself on your bed to reach for your phone, chest bubbling up with the ridiculous excuses that he could have sent back to you. Instead, however, what you were met with was a simple series of condescending texts:
Jungkook’s only neuron said: u’ll look great bby
Jungkook’s only neuron said: im getting heated just thinkin of u in that ;)
You said: You prick
You said: That dress doesn’t even cover my ass properly
Jungkook’s only neuron said: that was what i was hopin for
You groaned out loud as your eyes read his message, mind working faster than the quick progression of your thumbs against the screen — you better be ready for me to ruin you with the favor I have stored up, then, you texted back.
Jungkook’s response arrived all too soon. There was no physical time to toss the phone back onto the bed, to try the diminutive piece of clothing on and see if there was a way your boobs could survive without suffocating. As the notification blared through the speaker, you imagined him, expecting your reply by the phone, biting his nails. In your imagination, he was nervous, at least a bit; but Jungkook and his cohorts did not know nervousness, at least not when confronted to tests of women. They followed all those ludicrous bro-code-or-whatever-they-called-it rules; and making girls wait for their replies was in the book.
“Ruin or be ruined, that’s the world we live in,” you read out loud, trying to find in between the words Jungkook’s personal trademark. Unexpectedly, there was no baby. No typos. No superfluous exhibition of his very pompous personality. Had he asked for help? Perhaps Namjoon, the only one in the frat house with a functional brain. Maybe Yoongi, but it sounded way too contained to his taste.
“Quote your sources next time,” you typed rapidly, grinning all the way. “See you later, bby.”
Now Jungkook’s Only Neuron could type and ruminate over your odd response all he wanted. There would be no more texts until the party — except perhaps a picture or two of you in that dress, blurry and terribly illuminated. The ire of the gods would fall upon him when he tried to zoom in into your boobs only to find pixels. A taste of his own medicine, that was what you called this cruel stratagem.
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Now, there were only a limited number of things which could count as social humiliation for you. As mentioned aforetime, failing a ridiculously easy class or exposing your underwear were near the top of the list, alongside some awfully personal experiences, but you never thought there would be something to top all your expectations. Turns out that 90’s movies make a so called “makeover” to be something great and empowering when, in reality, it had to be the spiritual equivalent of intestinal cramps in the middle of a road trip. And yes, you had been through that. No further comment.
Maybe the movie director of your life was sadistic. Maybe that experience was karma for ruining poor Jungkook’s mental health earlier that day. Whatever it was, it was the new number one on your list of social humiliation. You could not claim you hadn’t gotten anything out of that night — but experiences make you grow, right?
You knew you had fucked up the second you walked up to the fraternity house — that stupidly large, greek-like mansion that pulsated under the progression of the awfully loud music — and saw a pair of underwear on the grass, lost amidst a sea of bottles and beer cans. And then a bra. And then an used cond— Jesus Christ! Were those kids acting out Animal Planet? There were limits. There had to be. Goodbye to your long lost purity.
To top it all off, it was cold. Not nice, chilly cold, but winter-is-here kind of Game of Thrones bullshit. The wind was like cold daggers against your skin, piercing your naked legs as you moved closer to the entrance door, benumbing your senses to the fullest extent. Whatever it was that you had in store for Jungkook, it had to be equally torturous to that walk of shame — the night had not even started, and you were already constructing an escape plan.
“Hey,” you said as you stopped in front of two athletes, crossing your arms before your figure — thank God for your common sense, since the leather jacket you wore both covered your insanely tight boobs and gave you a bit of heat. You wouldn’t have started a conversation with them if not absolutely necessary and, in that case, they were blocking the passage. “Excuse me, please.”
One of them turned to you with arched eyebrows, looking you up and down, “You seem familiar,” he mumbled, infecting the atmosphere with a terrible scent of alcohol. To be fair, you thought you knew him too, but did not want to get into friendly terms with any of them. “Whatcha’ doing here?”
Hell, here goes nothing, “Jungkook called me here.”
“Jungkook, who?” The other one — the travel-sized counterpart — laughed, hitting his friend’s shoulder in his drunken haze. “We know no Jungkook.”
They were still blocking the entrance, and you were not in the mood to commence an arrogant dissertation on why they did know the Jungkook you were referring to, and why was their ruse so evident. Shivering inside the leather jacket, you tried to find a way around the words he wanted so desperately to hear. “I am his friend,” you said.
The smaller of the two scoffed. “Jungkook has no friends.”
“I thought you knew no Jungkook,” you smirked, devilishly, but the brainless pair would not subside in their efforts to rip a confession out of your — literal — cold body. “For fucks sake. I am his girl. Jungkook’s. The one that gets to fuck him every night while you two try to resist the homoerotic dynamics you have seen yourselves trapped into. Now let me in, Tweedledee.”
“A straight-up bitch. Hot.” They murmured as you made your way into the hall. Inside, a myriad of bodies crammed the room, pressed against one another. Girls in short dresses and stressed boys trying to get their attention roamed around, red cup in hand. Their scent was sweetly rancid, a mixture of alcohol, sweat and pheromones you would not be able to stand for long without a drink in your hand.
No. Wait. Probably wouldn’t be the wisest of ideas to be intoxicated while pretending to be someone else’s girlfriend for the night. You got awfully sincere when you had alcohol, and the last thing you needed was to ruin your saved favor, especially after going through all the trouble you did. Next step would not be to drink away your disgust, as compelling as that seemed to be, but to find out your pathetically inadequate fake boyfriend.
Taking a deep breath, you skirted the overabundance of bodies as you made your way past the main living room, finding solace in a somewhat calm corner of the ambient. You leaned your back against the asperous wall, taking your phone out of your purse. Numb, your thumbs cried under the effort of unlocking the device and moving to his contact — that arrogant smile on that nauseatingly perfect display picture — to type your impatient messages:
You said: Hey, loser
You said: I’m here already
You said: Where can I find you?
You waited for a few seconds to see if he would get online, but nothing appeared on your screen. For a moment your mind wandered towards the possibility of it all being a prank, after all: to get you, a serious and stuff girl, in that outrageously small piece of red fabric would be a huge joke on itself, even more if he managed to show it off to his friends. If that was the case, you would transfer colleges. Not to be overdramatic or anything.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I told you to wear a jacket, baby girl.”
The second you raised your gaze, you came to regret your reckless decision — not in the cutesy, hesitant manner you were feeling aforetime, but in the this-was-a-horrible-idea-and-my-life-is-over type of shit. Not because you were in any sort of danger, but because you accepted the fact that you had absolutely no way to control yourself near the sheer sexual temptation that was Jeon Jungkook. Not like that.
In all his glory, the idiot looked the best he ever did. With his black hair slightly disheveled, parted almost in the middle, and eyes gleaming under the neon lights of the frat house, he looked like he had just stepped out of a photoshoot for Men’s Health. His team’s jacket — blue and white, with the symbol of your college — had its sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing the veins in his forearms; unbuttoned so it presented you with the v-cut shirt he wore underneath, grey. You could see the outlines of his fucking abs with that crap. Muscle pig. It was absurd. He should take it off.  
And of course, there were those fucking thighs. But you would not allow your gaze to fall under his waistline just yet. Yet.
A hum from his part interrupted your momentaneous fall into inferno, making you realize how quickly your heart started to beat. “You’re lucky you’re hot as fuck,” Jungkook acknowledged, his own eyes falling to your form, eyebrows slightly arched. “I always knew I had good taste for girlfriends.”
The silence between you was bubbling with an unspoken tension. Sexual, Cosmopolitan would have defined it as purely sexual. "Ten Easy Tips to Know if your Crush Wants you Too," or something of the sort would had been plastered all over the cover, where a barely-legal model would have judged you with doe-like eyes.
Jungkook's roseate tongue came out to wet his lips, to fill the void words had left behind with a heavy sigh. You wondered what those lips tasted like. Had you been asked to guess, you would have said cherry, or strawberry — although you were certain he had been drinking beer or, worse, cheap tequila shots.
The faux courage that had been motioning your body forward ever since you abandoned the dorms was now slipping in between your fingers as you reached for the hem of his jacket. "You look—" you started, but your mind went blank in a maelstrom of adjectives, amongst which you found barely no insults.
"—smoking hot?" Jungkook ventured. He was not mistaken, but still you scoffed. It the quintessence of your being, the endless sarcasm; you could not just abandon the truth of your nature for a boyfriend. A fake one, to top it all.
"I was going to say stereotyped, but hot also fits. I guess," index pressed against his chest, you leaned forward reducing the space between your bodies to naught. Air escaped in between his teeth when your lips caressed his ear with your murmurations. "What now, baby?" you mumbled, oblivious to his fingers as they traveled up your arm in a tender caress.
"Honestly?" the impish gleam of his eyes was a bad omen or, at least, the indication that you were not prepared in the slightest for what was to come. "I want to kiss the hell out of you, but not here."
For a second, you allowed yourself to forget that it was all an act. Without a second thought, you found yourself biting your lower lip in sheer desire. Lucky you, the boy would most likely think that was part of the fake love, and not your raging hormones coming out to say hello. “I would very much like that, yes,” you purred out against his skin, pressing your chest against his own. His heart was beating fast, but yours was no different. “Where to?”
Jungkook seemed to take a second to calm his nerves, clearing his mind from the impulses that flashed within his needs — if he were to be sincere, you two could forget that plan and just have a private place for yourselves, but there was a protocol to follow, his reputation at stake.  “Couch,” that word came out in a serpentine whisper, muffled as if had been verbalized miles underneath the sea. Against your waist, his palm held your skin in an almost protective manner — yet, both of you were holding back now.
You hummed in agreement. His scent was intoxicating you, the heat of his body was monopolizing your most logical of conceptualizations. “Take me whenever you need me,” you agreed as one of your hands slid down his chest — jesus, those fucking abs — and towards his own hand. You intertwined his fingers in his, loving that position a bit more than you probably should. “Should we?”
If he had said something in return, you did not hear it. Before you could control yourself any further, the boy was already guiding you past the chaotic ocean of exhilarated bodies, holding down to your hand as if it was his own version of salvation. Jungkook was lucky he was hot — very fucking hot, at that — otherwise you would have cracked another joke or two about how eager he appeared to be. Still, you were certain it would backfire.
“I see you want to put up a show,” was what you said instead, accompanying his harsh movements as the two of you arrived upon the center of the room — the heart of the party, if you could say that. From your peripheral vision, you could see splashes of blue and white moving around, signaling that more of his teammates were around. Classic show off. “Want everyone watching.”
“You have no clue, babe.” Jungkook turned around just in time so he could see the glimpses of lust coruscating inside your eyes. Bedroom eyes. Cute. “I want that jacket off.”
“No deal,” you told him promptly. With a groan, the boy threw himself on a beige couch nearby, sitting somewhat close to where another two jocks conversed vigorously, waving their red cups in the air like they were not half full. It was only a matter of seconds before they saw the two of you — more precisely you — and his pretty spectacle would finally begin. “Why do you want to expose your girlfriend like this?”
It was no problem. He could take it off himself.
As a response, Jungkook simply placed his hands on his thighs, signaling you that it would be your seat for the night — seems like you would be sitting in his lap, after all. “Come here, baby,” he requested. Okay, you would be lying through your teeth if you said that the place did not appear to be as inviting as possible. “Let me have a taste of you.”
To hell with it. If you were going to act it out, you might as well put up a show, and calm down your raging hormones as you did so.
And fuck, there were some things that 90s movies could never prepare you for. There was no scene, no soundtrack, no music video able to distract you from how firm his legs were as you sat down on top of them, dress slightly moving up your thighs. There was no director, no storyline that could guide your hands around his neck as you tilted your head and closed your eyes, falling to the absolute misery that was Jeon Jungkook. There was nothing in the entire world that could have made you pull away.
What a terrible fucking idea.
Jungkook groaned as soon as your lips met, quick to set the pace as a quick, needy, sloppy kiss. His hands, before so vacillating, now had traveled to your ass, where he squeezed your flesh, making you press down your hips against his, not letting it go for a second. You melted against his kiss, allowing yourself to sigh and moan against his mouth as his tongue encountered yours. Lacking places to hold onto, your hands moved to his cheeks, then to his hair, intertwining in his black locks and pulling on them.
Okay, there were things you regretted. You thought there was nothing capable of topping the preposterous plan of pretending to be Jungkook’s girlfriend, but that was because you had not reached that point of the night just yet. Because you had still not pulled away just enough so you could speak, caressing his lips with your own, speaking in a voice so filled with lust that you were surprised yourself. “Is that all you can do, kiddo?” you provoked him. “Come on, Jeon, is this how you treat your girl?”
He smirked. “Believe me, princess, there’s nothing I’d love more than treat you the way you deserve. Anything for you. But, you see, the audience is waiting and, as much as I would love to fuck you raw in this couch, I’d rather give the show I promised, and then renegotiate the initial clauses of our little contract,” then, a small pause, “if you are interested, of course.”
The boy was an idiot, or so you had thought: Jeon Jungkook, the dumbass that lets his dick make every essential decision, and doesn’t grasp even half of the references you throw at him. Apparently, that was not the case, and his intelligence was extensive only when he had to protect his pride and bring to term an important business. In other words, he wasn’t dumb, he wa just a selfish little prick.
Fingers sauntering up your thigh, Jungkook murmured in-between delicate kisses, and it made it impossible for you to deliver a witty remark. Every few words he would stop to taste your flesh with the tip of his tongue, and then nip it with his teeth. Lost in the feverish reverie of his tender caresses, you abandoned yourself to the feel of his kisses as his lips marked the path towards your jaw, your cheek. With a sigh falling from your swollen lips, you hoped to express the thirst he had incited, but he merely watched your reaction, diverted. Motherfucker. He knew what he was doing.
“For now,” he said against your ear, marking each word with a tap of his finger against your thigh. “This will have to do.” His thumb slid past the hem of your skirt and fuck, how you wished he were to continue his journey towards your underwear. There had been no specifications about that matter, but you had added your distinctive touch to the outfit. Jungkook did not know yet, but he would have loved to take that off you.
“I really think you can step up your game, Jungkook.” You looked around, biting your lips. None of the players around you were particularly interested in your little affair. Short skirts and exhibitionism were the daily bread of all those jocks. Luckily, that night no one had pulled out their dicks to measure them or start a peeing contest. Perhaps later in the night, when alcohol run freely through their bloodstream, eliminating their inhibition — or what was left of it, anyways. “This show of yours will impress no one.”
As if motioned by the fuel of a good challenge, Jungkook pounced over your lips. His touch was no longer delicate, contained, or meticulous, as it was before. Earlier, all he had wanted was to create a beautiful painting in which you, a girl that would have never had any interest for the jock in the class, was head over heels for him. He cared not about his audience, not anymore, as he could not bring himself to think of the friends he was supposed to impress. His only and most primal desire was to prove himself, to erase the disdainful sneer tainting those lips that were like nectar against his tongue.
You threw yourself off his lap and leaned your back against the arm of the sofa, being trapped between it and his large figure. In the impetus of his sudden adoration, you lost your hold on reality and allowed for him to overtake you, pressing his chest against your own. Jungkook’s hand in the small of your back cushioned your descents to the inferno of his hips pressed against yours, hands exploring your waist, and the curve of your breasts over the tight dress.
It was getting more and more difficult to come to your senses when all you could feel were his palms against your breasts, only to go down to your ass a second later. Your dress was being pulled upwards, your heart overtaken by the intoxicated by rhythm of the song as one of his legs moved in between yours, pressing down on your core — gradually at first, but then strong enough for you to moan loudly against his mouth. This kid was playing with fire. You loved it.
You were out of breath and out of mind when a voice called from the outside world, that universe of flashing comets and red asters circulating around your sweltering bodies. “Hey kid! Jungkook!” the unknown timbre insisted further and, before you could recognize it, Jungkook had pushed himself away from you to smile at a stranger. Whoever it was, you wanted him killed for interrupting your search for nirvana. “You know we have rooms for that kind of unholy shit. Leave all the exhibitionism for Jimin, he loves it.”
With a smirk, his victory became plastered across his douchebag face, “I got carried away, sorry,” Jungkook explained, lips shining with the remnants of your gloss. His hand was still against your waist, but he showed no shame when he winked in your direction, purposefully following your eyes as they grew darker — he was loving it. “Tastes like heaven, y’know?”
The other guy, whose name you could not quite recall, simply rolled his eyes at the out-of-character sentence, “Whatever you say, dude,” he mumbled underneath the music, unaffected by show you two had put up. Instead, his gaze seemed to be a bit lost in the remanent liquid that dwelled on the bottom of his red cup — poor kid was completely wasted. “Uh, by the way, before I forget. Namjoon has been looking for you for like two hours or whatever. He says, and I quote, that he wants to see it or he won’t believe it.”
Jungkook’s smile grew by a few millimeters, finding in that sentence the opportunity he needed. He didn’t need half of your GPA to understand what his friend was referring to, “Yeah, sure thing, man,” he answered. You were amazed how casually he was acting for someone who still had one hand holding tightly to your ass, but you could not claim you did not like it. In fact, he could strip you naked for all you cared, fake boyfriend or not. “Where is he, by the way?”
Chewing on his words for a second, the guy paused. His chocolate-colored eyes got lost in the horizon and, at last, you came to understand that he must have consumed something other than alcohol — hey, no judgement, you were not precisely the morally superior person in that conversation. “He was at the game room with the dudes. I don’t know if they’re still there.”
“Perfect,” Jungkook exclaimed, his palm squeezing your ass once again. Only then did you notice that, in the meantime, his shirt had rolled up a bit. Now you totally could see those abs you have always dreamt about and, good lord, they were even better than what you imagined. If you were not acting then, you would have cursed out his unnamed friend for interrupting that slack of paradise — but hell, the ghostly sensation of his lips on yours still got the best of you. Fucking prick. He was too powerful. “Thanks, Tae. You didn’t see anything.”
Tae… Taehyung. Oh, now you remembered. The kid who got high and ate pizza from the bottom of the pool in freshman year. Disgusting and slightly worrisome. You thought some memories could be left forgotten.
Taehyung suspired. “I did, though,” only then did his gaze navigate back to you, lingering on your face for a couple more seconds than necessary. You didn’t know if it were the drugs acting up, or if he was examining your artificially naive expression. “Hot choice of panties, by the way. Your ass looks great in lacy black. Cheers to that.”
“You have really good taste, buddy.” With a radiant smile, you agreed. Past the blur of weed and alcohol, Taehyung replicated the gesture, and raised his red cup in a giddy toast. Whether he was lauding the glorious roundness of your ass, or the intricate beauty of your one and only pair of expensive panties, you did not care. There was no use for shame within those walls, especially when your ass was indeed hot confined within the soft lace. “Imaginary cheers to that.”
It was a moment of amicable comradery, even though Taehyung was one shot away from becoming the buffon of the party. Around your waist, Jungkook’s fingers tightened but, before you could turn around to face his predictable displeasure, the moment ended, and you were presented with a luciferous smile.
“Noted. Thank you dude, see you around.” Jungkook screamed over the loud bass of a terrible remix of a very popular song you wished was shorter. The constant chit-chat developing around did not help communicate but, luckily, you were not required to hold a challenging conversation that night. With a peck in the lips and a light squeeze of your ass, Jungkook prompted you to move. It was strangely loving — for a jock, at least.
Once anew, he guided you through the crowd, a hand in your waist and the other buried deep in one of the pockets of his jacket. The picture was magazine-worthy. One of those blurry shots, taken with a Polaroid, that could had made it into the cover of an Indie album — even if Jungkook could have starred in an Abercrombie & Fitch ad, jacket and all.
“Where is that fucking game room?” The question felt extremely bitter against your tongue when you had to wipe someone else’s sweat off your arm. The party was heating up, and not in the good way. “Please tell me it isn’t some Fifty Shades of Grey shit.”
“Didn’t picture you as one of those.” Jungkook let go of your waist to interwine his fingers in yours. It was calming, the chilliness of his hand against your sweltering skin. “But no, here we never watched that. The dudes are, you know, more into anal compilations and shit like that— not me!” He rushed to say, hands up in a gesture of defeat. “Baby Jesus wouldn’t not approve.”
That was, by far, the weirdest conversation you’ve had in a long time.
“Pity, now that I thought we would make a great pair.” You sighed. “I guess I’ll have to find another hot dude to watch my kinky porn with.”
“I— sweet lord.” With shaky hands he massaged his cheeks. You were exhausting, even for him. Good. “We’ll discuss that later.” Jungkook opened one of the doors in the hallway, leading into a big space that was, precisely, only meant to game. “Now we have business to do.”
Biting down on your lower lip, you took a couple steps into the large area, absorbing its details. The first thing you noticed, as your company closed the door behind you two, was that it was soundproof — finally, a blessing for the night. As the excruciating buzzing in your ears still lingered, your hearing started to focus on the diverse conversations that dwelled beyond those closed doors. From what you could notice, there had to be around fifteen people in there — stereotypical jocks and cheerleaders, if you were to be quite honest — and they were mostly segregated into two smaller groups. One of which, you recognized, had the individual you two had been looking for.
Now, Kim Namjoon was a specimen of his own kind. You had no idea what kind of satanic pact had he resorted to, but it had been good enough to gift him the brain of a Harvard professor and the body of a professional athlete — all wrapped up in that team jacket, which suited him so dangerously well. You would be lying through clenched teeth if you were to say you had not checked him out at least once or twice during your shared Advanced Literature classes — but that was a secret that would be buried with you. Again, he was still one of those fraternity types, and blowing up their egos was as easy as blowing other, less christian areas.  
Again, you would be lying if you said you had not considered that either.
Jungkook’s arm found the curvature of your waist once again, making you fall back into your usual acting state. Next to you, the boy was smiling freely — not in a sympathetic manner, but in a I’m-getting-good-sex-tonight kind of smile. He could keep dreaming, for all you cared. “What’s up, Kim?” he cheered, guiding you around the grey couch. Considerably large, it was surrounded by two armchairs, forming a square-like shape in the center of the room. On the wall next to it, a baseball game was silenced on the LED screen. “Thought I wouldn’t see you tonight.”
Namjoon had his elbows resting on a marble table, seating on one of the tall benches that surrounded it. You were surprised he had even found empty space in there, since all you could see was a pandemonium of empty bottles and pizza boxes. “I should be one one saying that, Jeon.” The other jock smiled just as freely, exposing those dimples you had always found unbearably cute. He did not look at you for a second. “You are not one to vanish during a party. Did you get laid or something?”
“See, Namjoon, your friend Jungkook is trying to get laid tonight, but let’s see how that goes, right honey?” You butted in, to Namjoon’s dismay. Very delicately, like the Disney princess you were not. You sat on the couch, paying no mind to the many diverse types of stains dotting it. Kim Namjoon was not going to ignore you, like you were a nothing but a pretty decoration Jungkook carried around to show off — especially not when you could beat his non-existent genius ass any day during a debate. “Hi, Namjoon. Didn’t see you in class last Wednesday.”
“Hangover.” He explained, taking a bite off a chewy slice of cheese pizza. “I have to confess I am surprised. I thought you were joking when you said you two were—”
“—dating, yes. I’m a married man now, Namjoon. No more getting laid with just anybody.” Jungkook flopped by your side. His hand went immediately towards your naked knee, and there it stayed. Very subtle.
“What do you guys talk about?” Namjoon pried, impertinently. In his timbre you could perceive a hint of disbelief, and it was understandable. He had seen you in action, going after your debate opponents like a shark in bloody waters. Jungkook was, compared to the you he had witnessed, a kindergartener in nappies, and he simply couldn’t comprehend how the two of you could work together — or even compliment each other, honestly.
“Volleyball.” Jungkook said, with an enthusiasm that made your wry smile pathetic. “She loves volleyball.”
Namjoon crackled at the unexpectedly joyful response. “Never seen her in a game.”
“I’m more of a theoretical fan of — of the sports.” Eyes disappearing into the fakest smile, you tried to escape the trap Jungkook had thrown you into. Namjoon was correct. You had not set foot in a court ever since high-school, and even back then you had only done so because it was mandatory. “I have watched Haikyuu at least thrice. I’m an expert.”
“She’ll come to the next one.” Jungkook kissed your cheek, interrupting your excused before it was too late. The touch of his petal-like lips was, at the very least, pleasant. “We made a deal. She wears my jacket and I use the shortest pants I own for the game.”
Namjoon chuckled at the idea, still skeptical. You knew he would be a hard one to convince, since he usually saw through your bullshit — both in debates and in real life.  “Yeah, right,” was all that he managed to say, still dodging your gaze. Oh, you saw what he was doing. Sneaky motherfucker. Sly little snake. By avoiding you and focusing on your fake boyfriend, he was both pressing on the one easier to slip on the lie, and annoying you. He knew how you got when you were hot-headed and that was, once again, a recipe for disaster. “In all seriousness, weeaboo anime aside, what do you… theoretically like about volleyball?”
No eye contact still. Fair. Two could play that game.  
“Physics,” you answered within a heartbeat, almost surprising yourself by how naturally that  response came from in between your lips. Not necessarily a lie, too. But that was a long story. “I told you this already. Volleyball can be explained with high school-level of mechanics. Energy and work, force, projectile motion… You know the deal.”
Namjoon hummed, watching closely the line of cheese that dripped down his pizza. “Yeah, I know the deal,” he told you. He had not bought it. “And I know you know it too. My question is,” he paused, looking up to point at Jungkook. “Does he?”
Well, you just had to know it would backfire like that. Still, you barely had time to feel panic starting to germinate in your throat before Jungkook interrupted the conversation with flawless grace, “Not much, that is why she’s teaching me,” perfect. Simple. Fail proof. You could barely believe that the single neuron that inhabited his mind managed to make a synapsis with itself and come up with that. “Yo, man, why are you so defensive all of a sudden? You’re making my girl uncomfortable.”
My girl. You hated how much you liked that.
His friend hesitated for a second, chewing slowly on the piece of food. It didn’t seem like it was any good. In the very least, it was cold. “Yeah. My bad, dude. Bad week,” Namjoon was quick to apologize, which you did not believe for an instant. He was smarter than that, more arrogant than someone that would so fast admit to his own fault. “Guess I just can’t believe you managed to get a girl like Y/N. Life sucks sometimes.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you were the one who asked it, even if both of you were thinking it. It was your turn to try and not to get defensive, but it was getting harder and harder by the second. You crossed your legs, which induced for your red dress to slip up your legs. Namjoon followed the movement, and then his gaze was stuck. Oh. Maybe there was another reason for his lack of eye contact. “Don’t tell me that the great captain Kim Namjoon is suddenly jealous.”
He shrugged. “Call it whatever you want. But you do look hotter than ninety-five percent of the chicks I’ve seen all year,” and then, his next sentences were directed straight at Jungkook. “I don’t know if you had the chance to see it already, man, but she has a great taste for underwear.”
Ninety-five was a good percentile, but you were indeed hot in that dress. Namjoon trembled, almost imperceptibly, when you slid your legs over Jungkook’s lap, to cuddle against his chest. In all honesty, the posture was not comfortable, not in that dress. Had you been back in the dorm, in your PJ’s, the tale would have been completely different; but Namjoon’s expression was a poem — a terrible one, at that — and that was enough satisfaction for the moment.
When you sighed, Namjoon replicated it, in a long-drawled, cheese-scented exhalation. The sound he emitted was pitiful, but it helped you comprehend fully the frustration the poor boy was submitted to, and the ultimate reason behind his pizza binge. His was a severe case of blue balls, and you were the one and only cause it. Cute.
“Namjoon, if you really want to address my exquisite taste in underwear, you can tell me directly,” you said. A thread of cheese remained in precarious equilibrium in between his lower lip and his hand, as he struggled for once to follow your words. The genius had short-circuited over lacy panties and the grossest kind of PDA. Another achievement unlocked in the marvelous experience that was college. It would look beautiful in your curriculum, right beside your volunteer work. “Jungkook is more used to seeing me without it. He wouldn’t understand our fantastic taste.”
“Babe,” Jungkook whined, caressing your thigh to make you cognizant of his presence. “I do love your underwear—”
“—Scattered all over your bedroom.” You whispered in the most impish little voice. By the glance he returned, Jungkook had loved the image. Maybe it was just your imagination, maybe you were in character and your discerning was altered, but you could have sworn his dick had twitched at the thought. Interesting.
To drown his sorrow, Namjoon took yet another slice of pizza. The boy could eat. He was still munching his previous victim, and it was making you hungry. Jungkook was very hot and all, but he had not offered to get you a drink or something to eat. Chivalry was, indeed, dead. “Let me ask you a question, Y/N,” Namjoon murmured in-between greasy bites. “It’ll be easy. I promise.”
“I’m all ears.”
“What is it, exactly, what made you fall for our ace?” Namjoon inquired. It was an unexpected question. A cheerleader could have asked the same, waiting you to offer a bland response in the trite language all popular girls had long mastered like: his big, big eyes; his toothpaste commercial worthy smile, the humongous size of his — not his brain, that was for certain.
But it was not a cheerleader the one to make the question, but Namjoon. Out of all the athletes in the house, Namjoon was the only one you had ever exchanged more than a few words with. Interesting words. The kind that — put together in a coherent sentence — form conversation two functional adults can take pleasure in. “Does he read Whitman to make you sleep?” He pressed further.
Before you could think twice, the words were already departing from your lips. “He rants about your pep-talks, that’s enough to have me snoring in seconds.”
He scoffed. “Nice comeback, it’s a pity that you’ve been avoiding my question like the plague,” Namjoon said in what appeared to be a groan, patience starting to run thin. At last, he appeared to have finished eating his horniness away, for he dropped the last slice of pizza back in the box. “Let me rephrase that, then—”
Next to you, Jungkook fumbled on his seat. “—Namjoon, bro, that’s enough,” he said firmly, almost an order. From the way Namjoon’s eyebrows moved together into a frown, you could tell that such serious demeanor was also uncommon amongst his group of friends. Jungkook was only serious in two situations: during games, and when his white knight complex had been activated. You would guess that was the latter. “I know it’s hard to believe, all right? Even I don’t buy it sometimes. But this is exactly why we didn’t tell you guys earlier, I knew you’d have a blast interrogating my girlfriend. And this is not cool, alright? It’s not cool that you’re over here talking about her underwear and acting like you’d be a total catch compared to me. Fuck that shit, dude, don’t ruin the night for us just because you got some jealousy stuck up your ass.”
Silence. The other boy took a second, then two, to chew what was left on his mouth, closely analyzing his friend. You could see the wheels moving inside Namjoon’s brain and — unlike Jungkook — he had more than one synapsis to make. “Hey, fair enough,” he said. And then he started smiling. Actually smiling. Putting-the-Cheshire-Cat-To-Shame kind of smile. “What has gotten into you tonight, uh? Jesus. I’m just fucking with you, didn’t think you’d get this overprotective. That’s some serious shit you’ve gotten yourself into, Jeon.”
Jungkook seemed to take an instant to fully digest the unforeseen change of demeanor, then joined his friend in his laugh. “Bro, what the fuck? You were annoying as hell,” he was clearly puzzled, even if you could see sheer alleviation in that smile. Oh, honey. He was not acting over there, was he? Poor kid really took that to heart. “Get outta here with that interrogation bullshit, Sherlock Holmes.”
“Look at that, you already know one famous victorian character,” Namjoon sarcastically celebrated, turning back at you — still living in the apex of confusion. You should have stayed home and read a book, where men are predictable and fraternity athletes as just a ghost in your memory. “You’ve been a positive influence so far, Y/N, props to that. I’ve been trying to get him to at least watch the movies for ages.”
“He only agreed to watch it once I explained Iron Man featured in it.” Taking advantage of your fake-girlfriend privileges, you slid your hand under Jungkook’s shirt. Fingers dawdling over his warm skin, you delighted in the sensation of his muscles quivering under your touch. It would not be noticeable to Namjoon — although he was particularly sharp that night. Words encompassing your feathery caresses, you murmured into his ear. “I’m thirsty, babe.”
Namjoon looked away when you nuzzled Jungkook’s neck, to bury his jealousy under another pile of cheese.
“Do you want some beer?” Jungkook blinked twice, trying to decipher the sudden change in the inflections of your voice. It was no longer playful, teasing, but dripping something he could have only categorised as desire. Jungkook was dense, enough to miss the a very evident innuendo by a mile. “I can go get you something.”
“No, not that.” Your fingers treaded an undiscovered path towards the lines of his hips, and the hem of his pants. His brain had missed the memo, but his dick was extremely eager to catch up, and was now constricted against his belt. The moment he rose from the couch, the boner would be exposed, and it would give him the perfect opportunity to drag you away from the room and towards his bedroom. “Jungkook… Let’s go.”
“I need to go to the bathroom first.” He excused himself to Namjoon, who had decided to embrace his solitude by hugging the pizza box and returning his attention to the baseball game. His team was losing. Big night for Kim Namjoon.
Jungkook pecked your lips and scurried from below your body. The room was cold now that he had left, and Namjoon was not willing to talk.
“So… pizza, huh?” you said, fixing your clothes. The last thing our brave captain needed was to take another glimpse at your ass.
Namjoon stared into the screen, absorbed by the little figures moving around. It was hard to believe that someone like him could he find baseball so entrancing. “So…Jungkook, huh?”
There it was. Jealousy, in its rawest form. He would never be so explicit in front of Jungkook, they were friends after all, but with you Namjoon could say whatever thoughts crossed his mind. “You know Jungkook isn’t as stupid as he wants all of campus to believe. He might not be a genius like you, but he is smart. He’s just a little bit caught up in the popularity game,” you said. The words leaving your mouth surprised you. Kind words for Jeon Jungkook, what a night to be alive. “Don’t be so surprised, Namjoon.”
The baseball game was no longer as relevant, for Namjoon deigned to look at you. Browns knitted in incredulity, he dropped the last slice of pizza and cleaned his hands in the team jacket. Symbolically, it was not a good thing, but he was probably overdosing on cheese. “I’m not surprised. Maybe you like him, after all.”
“Maybe I do.” You confessed with a quick wink and a guilty smile. “He gives good head, too.”
“That’s too much information.” Namjoon was nauseated, but he would never say it aloud. There was also the possibility that it was not nausea the grimace transfiguring his cute face, but jealousy. “You should go get your boyfriend, though, I think he got lost in his own reflection or something.”
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Just like Namjoon had suggested, you followed Jungkook’s trail towards the bathroom. Trail, as in asking the couples making out in the hallway where the bathroom was. The first pair had not responded you, they were too busy sucking each other’s tongues to even form a coherent sentence. Titty in hand, the man in the second pair of lovers, explained where to find the bathroom — that was also known as the knocking shop.
To be fair, you knocked, but the music was too loud and the sound too timid. When you received no indication from Jungkook, you opened the door. At first you could not see past the outrageously pink sink. It was horrifyingly ugly. Jungkook rested against it, his forehead was pressed against the mirror, his warm exhalations creating beautiful designs over the reflective surface. One of his hands gripped tightly the sink, the veins of his arms visible, like rivers you had loved to explore through your fingertips. His other hand was trapped within the confines of his jeans, pressed against his dick. With every sigh and every moan, he would roll his hips against his hand, fucking himself into oblivion. All signs of arrogance vanished from his features when he was about to cum. Vulnerability looked so pretty on him.
You wished there was a joke you could crack, even if to yourself, that could serve as a coping mechanism to whatever the fuck you were being presented with. Still, nothing came out of your lips besides a loud, slightly horrified:
“What the actual fuck, Jungkook?”
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Text
The Blocklist: A essay (this is very long)
I know everyones sick of it at this point but I got shit to say so feel free to not read this absolute unit of a poorly written essay. The jjbablocklist divided their list into two different list now. One for creators and one for consumers/rebloggers and I cannot stress enough about how dumb that is since it shouldve been done since the beggining. Also, following alot of these artist and “consumers” of these medias, I noticed some of them are falsely accused, others while being minors. here’s why:
1. A lot of teens and young adults in the community like ships like GioMis, FuMis, NaraGio, MisTrish and plenty more and I know your singular shared braincell cannot handle the idea of 2-3 year age gaps not being pedophilia, but uh, newsflash for ya, THEY AINT. Legally, it is not a crime and that in america where the age of consent is 18, not in Italy where its 15 and not in Japan where its even less. Under the general United States Law, which is where I assume the list makers/defenders are mostly from, these ships are not classified as pedophilia or should be problematic and the ages of consent change to lower ages depending on state. The only way you can add these shippers for their “crimes” is if they promoted or created the interactions of these characters in a sexual or intimate manner whether they are aged up or not, which is still wack if their age is above that of the age of consent in writing/art and the fact that minors, in this case teenagers with the VA cast, are allowed to express themselves with people of their own age group in a sexual manner, real life kids do it all the time amongst themselves so why shouldnt people be able to create it, the whole ordeal is ridiculous imo BUT I can see how it makes a lot of people uncomfortable, a lot of it makes me uncomfortable too so we gotta make compromises somehow so absolutely no lewding the mafia lolis/ jojo lolis in general and if you do, tag it properly so it doesnt spread onto the basic hastags of characters and the show. If you dont you on the list.
2. Claim genderswapping/r63 is transphobic all you want but until I see clear and definitive proof of it being purposely made for that purpose then it’s absolutely ok. If someone makes it to offend someone then its wrong and they should be called out for it (which has never been the case in this fanbase as far as I cant tell) It’s creative, it allows people create new desings for characters or adjust current ones for cosplayers or other artist. Im sure one of your mods can relate, since the do the exact same thing as we do while not addressing a certaint character properly by their canon pronouns. Genderbending does not promote the attack or harrasement of the trans community and that is a fact unless its done by actual problematic artist like Sh*dbase and others, which is still a stretch because I dont think they’ve done it to target people or make fun of them but they are the popular problem icons. So get the actual transphobes on the list, aka those who created the content specifically to harras a specific person, or remove the catergory entirely. Its unnecessary and hypocritical.
— The rest of these are just things that bother a lot of people in the community so if you only cared about minors being on the list then you dont have to continue reading. —
Tumblr is infamously known to be a shitshow of a site where all you can find is problematic content. If you dont like this kind of content, why the hell are you here in the first place? There’s a lot of safer websites to use where like instagram, twitter, amino, facebook, and more. They have actual filters unlike tumblr and finding content you dont like is a lot harder unless you are purposefully looking for it, and even then it could be a challenge due to shadow bans or privatized accounts. Tumblr has none of that, everyone knows it, all of those who dont like it try to stay away from it or use it very scarcely. Why do you think that most of these “problematic” artist/creators/consumers are here? Tumblr has always been its own weird realm, trying to make it anything else goes against what it stand for.
You’re crimes make are literal nonsense sometimes because you include such obvious personal attacks like “Made a literal essay defending GioMis” and “All kinds of awful stuff” as crimes. You added a few account because they message you about how ridiculous the whole ordeal is and you take to findind the slightest bit of “evidence” that can aid you into making them look bad. You know thats not a good reason right?? Even if it were, yall are even more guilty for committing acts of Liable and Defamation and you are choosing to for those you incorrectly put on the list, invluding the minors! Let alone hypocrisy but yall are tired of hearing that one.
Dont add other fandoms into this mess. The Hetalia fandom has been dead for more than 5 years and it aint none of your buisness. It has nothing to do with Jojo. Unless you plan on making more blocklist for ALL fandoms then, goodluck, though make em better.
Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is a wonderful and yet problematic series, guess who’s fault it is... its Araki’s. Created a hilarious nazi character, nah its the fanbases fault for roleplaying such a funny character. Pedophilia and rape represented in Jojo and not treated seriously, nah its the fandoms fault for romanticizing it. Homophobia as character traits and degradation of women in Jojo, pfft nah f a n d o m s f a u l t for painting such “false” representations of the characters. Ah, but yall wont drop Jojo cuz that kid your trying to control media for wont drop it either. It is not your responsibility to create a childproof community when the show already has heavy themes. Its their caretakers/parents or the childs own responsibility.
I despise the argument “well Jojo is a 17+ only show so no kids allowed!” you might be right, but has that really ever stopped kids from doing anything?? It does the opposite, it creates a sense of overwhelming curiosity which leads to venturing unkown territory which they may or may not end up enjoying. The problem lies wether young teens are mature enough to watch it or not and judging by this whole fiasco, alot of the people, teens and adults, involved are not.
YOU ARE NOT JUDGE JURY AND EXECUTIONER AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO POLICE A MEDIA YOU DO NOT OWN OR TAKE RESPONSIBILITY INTO DOING IT FOR SOMEONE ELSE
I will give you this guys this, theres a few artist and creators that do belong there, very few as far as I could see and read into and some are missing since they are mostly on twitter instead of tumblr. But hey, I managed to find like 12 accounts that I probably wouldn’t like seeing the content of, and I found a lot of good accounts too. A hell of a lot more.
I know Im harsh and a total loser but y’all really gotta do some damage control and think ahead. Merely ignoring the fact that your movement cause a floodwave of hatred, deaththreats and suicide baiting is disgusting, adress it properly, dont condone it. Cuz Im yall wouldnt like 200+ messages of “Kill yourself you of lowlife degenerate. I dont like your the disgusting trash you like so I hope you rot in hell for the rest of your life” It isnt fun, a lot of people have received these, some are even worse and a lot dont even deserve it.
Run the list correctly, its a good idea, it could’ve been handled way better than this and you guys know it. This would’ve been great for 14 year old me not stumbling onto a lot of problematic ships when I first looked up Jojo and it can help many children in the community in the future, but you are ruiling out a majority of the fanbase with such vague and pointless rules as regular shipping and creative freedom. You are demonizing people who like basic shipping and different character desings, and that’ll scare them because they dont want tobe hated for something they like. Because a few biased opinions decided to rule out that what the kids liked is morally wrong and irredeemable. Cuz thats all I can see on the list with the exception of maybe a 12 people on the list. Thats all the rest of the JJBA community sees.
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seventeencelcius · 6 years
Text
Drunk! S.Coups
when joshua texted you at 2:15AM to pick up your deadass drunk boyfriend at the restaurant they had their celebratory dinner for their successful world tour the past month, you were this close to losing your shit
“hey sorry about it, but cheol just wouldn’t get in the taxi no matter how hard we tried, he insisted on seeing you. sorry sis-in-law :’)”
seungcheol was a heavyweight, having pretty strong alcohol tolerance and always drinking on your behalf if you ever lose in beer pong
one problem about him was that he always felt bad for those being punished, especially towards the younger ones whom he ‘raised’ since they were trainees so he had a very soft spot for the maknae line
considering that chan literally just turned legal and was probably playing drinking games for the first time in his life, he probably lost A LOT
that’s where your boyfriend came in, you assumed, helping chan to down the punishment shots on autopilot and ended up in this situation right now
thankfully, you had crashed earlier the night after kissing seungcheol goodbye and telling him to have fun so you weren’t exactly exhausted
maybe in your mind, you probably already  anticipated a situation like that would occur cause he was sometimes way too nice for his own good lol
but
you didn’t think the situation would get so out of hand after seeing the video joshua sent you of your boyfriend trying to cuddle up to a v uncomfortable jihoon and calling him your name
but literally pushing him away after said kiss on the cheek and gasping out loud “YOU’RE NOT MY BABY”
(jicheol fans be rioting im kidding)
no matter how drunk he was, he still wasn’t shy in showing affection
but at this point, you were more embarrassed over what he was doing than anything else that you wanted to drag him by the collar in case he sprouted any more nonsense to the boys
still, you gotta admit you were blushing at his ability to recognize you and telling you apart
by the time you reached the location, a very tired joshua and jeonghan sitting at a sidewalk greeted you and gestured towards a bench where your boyfriend was curled up
“we’ll help you to move him to your car but be careful yourself, he’s literally an affection monster.”
you chuckled and judging from looking from their dishevelled appearance, you knew they definitely weren’t lying
“cheol, can you wake up? let’s get you into my car okay?”
“i only want to see my girlllllll ... WOW am i seeing things?? aren’t you her??”
he literally collapsed into your arms right after that and you swore you would have fallen (for him again jk) had it not been the other two who help seungcheol by his arms
luckily for you, after he crashed into your
you drove both the boys back to their apartments and after insisting you could carry your boyfriend back yourself, you left because joshua and jeonghan looked like they lost 10 years of their life from taking care of your clingy significant other
“you are the most beautiful girl i have seen in my life.”
you turned after parking your car and seeing your boyfriend who just woke up looking at you with glassy eyes and a stare that threaten to melt your heart again
it seems when he got drunk, he was one emotional mess
you couldn’t say you hated it since he was literally being so darn cute that your heart couldn’t take it like wow he was making so soft for him if that was even possible
after heaving his shoulder over you, both of you managed to get back to your place in one piece
you left him on your bed and went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water instead of just plopping next to him and well, pass out from how the tiredness of carrying seungcheol
sure it was 3am but watching your drunk boyfriend was more amusing than the idea of sleeping since it was rare
especially when you could hear him mumbling the corniest things about you, making you grin even wider
he started pinching his cheeks and mumbled: “do you think i’m cute?”
“yes, you are -“
all of a sudden, he started winking and threw hearts at you as if he was on stage performing for his fans: “ofc i’m the cutest in seventeen, no, the whole wide world ~”
stiffing a laugh, you just couldn’t wait to make fun of your boyfriend tomorrow lmao
if you thought he was clingy irl from insisting to hold your hand to keep you warm when it was the summer or constantly trying to make you stay for an extra 10 more minutes in bed when you had work
however, this was ..... next level
“do you know who my baby is? she’s the most beautiful person in the whole wide WORLD!”
“you should look again, who am i hmm?”
he took your reply seriously as he squinted his eyes and before you knew it, he raised his arms and pulled you into an enormous hug
“IT’S YOU!! MY BABY!!! i thought i will never *sobs* see you again ....”
“CHEOL?? ARE YOU CRYING???”
as if something switched within him, he went from crying to giggling like a child receiving a toy on their birthday
“nonono call me cheollie ~ i like that more ehehe”
you were laughing so hard as you quickly reach out to your phone to record this incident
#blackmailmaterial
“even more than baby?”
“yeahhh wait nooooo, don’t make me choose. i just like hearing your voice, it could be anything.”
damn, choi seungcheol
even when he was drunk, he could sure make your heart beat a million times faster
as you ruffled his hair in bed, his eyes started dropping and soon enough, he was lightly snoring
you took that as your cue to switch off your recording
the lights went out following that and you could feel his presence coming closer to you and he pulled you to his chest
“you know i love you a lot right?”
the next morning, seungcheol woke up with what was possibly the worst hangover
but upon looking at who was curled up next to him, the memories from yesterday floated back and the hangover just disappeared in an instant
the headache clouding his head cleared up as you snuggled closer, inching to the warmth he radiated
at least he didn’t do anything stupid, well NOT stupid enough to warrant an arrest or anything
just very casually expressing his love for you, as usual
he ran his fingers through your hair, untangling some of the knots but the smile never leaving his face
he did felt guilty for making you take care of him at such an hour but in a way, he was grateful that someone cared for him that much
thankfully, all the stuff that left his lips yesterday was all true anyway
“i’m so lucky to have you, i’m never gonna stop saying that.”
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faunusrights · 6 years
Text
OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 9
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oh goody!
well this is it. the Date Chapter. the chapter, in which, the Date happens. lowkey im so fucking hype for this stupid goddamn chapter AAAAAAAAAAAA this is when the sexy got kicked up about seven notches and i know its gonna be a fucking twenty from here on out so LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO
“Is this your date, Ms. Fall?” he asked.
Cinder didn’t look away from Glynda. “Mhm.”
STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GODDAMN GATE WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A SECOND TO EVEN GATHER OURSELVES JUST STRAIGHT UP HUH!!!!!!!!! ‘is this your date’ im legally dead
What the fuck.
already im fucking THRIVING im so glad this chapter’s mood got encapsulated within the first ten seconds and im definitely gonna have to re-read this chapter for the full unannotated experience OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD IM SO READY
Glynda’s thoughts ricocheted inside her head like coins left in a dryer. A part of her couldn’t understand what was happening and disengaged. The rest of her, grasping for purchase in all this, reasoned that going with Cinder was better than staying here confused, alone, and utterly displaced.
glynda ‘i aint ever had a gf before’ goodwitch at her PEAK right here. like GOD shes gone from ‘cinder’s trying to murder me’ to ‘cinder just plopped me right into a date’ like CINDER. CINDER YR CHANGING GEARS SO FAST. YOU DIDNT EVEN SEND FLOWERS OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
is it because shes a u-haul lesbian or
Higher, Glynda realized the dress itself was backless, revealing the black tattoo she’d seen so often before, perfectly centered between sharp shoulder blades.
this gay energy is BONKERS, quite frankly??????? where did cinder get her dress from? why does she have it? did she buy it just for this fuckery? or will she pull the ‘i just had a this lil number laying around’ line????????? does she wanna seduce glynda to death?????? was this PLANNED OR DID SHE JUST DECIDE SHE WANTED A DATE AND WTH LIFE REALLY IS SHORT ON REMNANT THESE DAYS?????????? cinder fall please explain your workings to the class
maybe Glynda wasn’t the only one who’d become adept at reading her opponent.
👏 when 👏 will 👏 they 👏 kiss 👏 already 👏👏👏👏
me: this is a slowburn also me: if u assholes dont give me this in the next ten seconds-
“Unarmed? As if you could be so helpless.”
cinder’s style of flirting is just. commentating on a person’s deadliness. that’s IT it’s the only TRICK SHE HAS and its working, is the thing,
im reading the description of the table and remembering the shitpost and oh my god i have to draw this???? hell IS real!!!!!! COULDNT YALL JUST TOSS EM IN A PLAIN BOX,
Cinder eyed her from her bastion of dark cushions,
cinder, ass-deep in cushions: this is peak cuddle territory come and join me
Cinder, for her part, seemed delighted Glynda had noticed. Touching the pendant more gently than Glynda might have ever thought her capable of, Cinder said,  “Yours? You didn’t seem to mind parting with it.”
im still deeply enjoying this powermove the novelty NEVER wears off (and at risk of light spoilers i do enjoy its place in this story 👀)
Cinder let the necklace drop, settling against the swell of her bust once more,
/lightly coughs 👀👀👀
im losing my MIND at how gay this bit is i physically cannot HANDLE IT and if they even describe the meal once im gonna pop off cause i am. SO HUNGRY RN. AAAAAAAAAAAA
Cinder indicated a dish of lamb and vegetables, served on a bed of rice and drizzled in some sort of sauce.
SRY THIS ISNT GAY BUT OH MY GOD IM SO HUNGRY I WANNA E A T I T THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD UGHGHGHGHGHGH WHY DID THIS CHAPTER HAVE TO BE TODAY OF ALL THE DAYS,
Glynda cleared her throat, working out: “The Grimm.”
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like. GOD WE KNOW GLYNDA IS JUST SO FUNCTIONALLY BAD AT CONVERSATION BUT OF ALL THE THINGS glynda please just. just. stop thinking abt her sexy tattoos for a fifth of a second,
“You can control them.” A sedate blink. For all the world, Glynda might have just commented on the weather.
which is a faux pas for a date!!!!!!!!!!! at least tell her the DRESS IS SEXY WE ALL KNO WHATS WHAT YR THINKIN ABT
Glancing down as though it were being pointed out to her for the first time, Cinder shrugged and adjusted the end of the glove a little higher on her bicep. “And?” 
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a quick aside im enjoying how like... visually expressive cinder is in this remaster! i can see her facial expressions and her motions really clearly in my mind’s eye which is a fun little boon if only because i have to redraw this nonsense hjsgdfjhfksgd but cinder’s got a Good Face this time around! A QUALITY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You should know by now, there’s something about you that’s simply irresistible to Grimm.”
HERE COMES THE PLOT (and a single surviving line so far... this one sentence has survived all the world could throw at it... we stan)
Cinder straightened, and Glynda saw that this was what she’d been waiting for.
“It isn’t every day the great Glynda Goodwitch kneels before her adversary, is it?”
HELLO??????????????????????????? WHATS THIS WORDING????????? honestly tho for a second i thought she meant like. quite literally and i thought id missed some PROPER SHIT RIGHT THERE BUT YEAH WTH!!!!!!! C I N D E R
“You cheated. You can’t beat me on your own.”
yes glynda we gathered that yr a top
“Really, Glynda? Poison?” she sneered, something like offense simmering in her expression. “After all this?”
looks at the camera
anyway,
god im literally losing grasp of words to say because theres such a charged mood in this scene............. theyre brushing fingers............ trading jabs.......... im slurpin it up babey!!!!!!!! this rly is the BEST remaster of this whole scene it DESERVES this wordcount!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Beat you,” Cinder corrected. “And call it a point of pride.”
yes cinder we gathered yr a brat,
this dynamic is why this fic is so fuckign good when will winter have a swift return to add even more fuckery to this wild ride
Then, with a heavy-lidded look, Cinder found Glynda’s hand between them, the touch so sudden and daring that Glynda flinched. The fabric of those gloves was smooth against Glynda’s flesh, and for all that cruelty had marked every other instance of contact between them, Cinder was surprisingly gentle.
whomp there go my nuts
WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO MADE THE EXECUTIVE CHOICE TO ADD THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????????? im losing my BRAINCELLS
What she wasn’t ready for was for Cinder to guide her hand to her own throat and hold it there.
THERE IS IT THERE’S THE KINK IT’S BEEN SPOTTED
oh my GOD what even IS THIS WHO ADDED THIS SECTION WHO ALLOWED THIS TO COME TO P A S S WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO????????? HEWWO??????????
Now… Now Cinder interested her.
tbh how can i liveblog this? what commentary can i POSSIBLY add that we arent already all THINKING. we just launched into a level of hell so deep that lucifers gonna have to pull some goddamn tricks to follow us down here!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS SCENE! THIS MOMENT! IM SCREAMING
Glynda mirrored the expression back at him, and finally, he coughed, not making strong eye contact with either of them. He set their plate before them and hurried out without so much as a check-in.
i just KNEW that was gonna happen JHGDSFGJHKSDF he was gonna walk in on SMTHNG but i didnt think itd be CINDER’S CHOKING KINK,
okay i took a break and ate my weight in roast chicken and we’re back babey
Almost nervously, her fingers carded through her own dark hair, and there, among the locks, Glynda spotted a glimpse of something white, structured and ridged.
AND I AM INSTANTLY KNOCKED BACK UPON MY ASS 👈W👈H😨A👈T👈
It was easier to ignore the rest of it—whatever it was.
glynda you are a fool and a moron im withering into DUST
On no level had she expected those to be Glynda’s words.
then what... did she expect... well probably -- and rightly so -- ‘bitch WHAT ARE THOSE’ TBH
wait sorry i have to jump back because i forgot customary fingerguns on the most brazen bit of Shit yet:
Cinder was occupying herself with something else: the head of a dragon, perched over the door and staring down at the two of them with red, glossy eyes.
👈👈👈😎👈👈👈
okay BACK TO THE FIC
Fangs snapped together around the word.
aka back to me horni
/chanting TEETH! TEETH! TE
okay but the reason i doubled back to catch that fingergun is because we’re getting ass-deep into plot now!!!!!!!!!!! WITCHES AND DRAGONS BABEY......... HERE’S WHAT OFFAL HUNT IS ALL ABT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant rly drop more fingerguns than that because any astute reader will start realising the dots im shouting abt and honestly half the fun of this fic is the ride so >:3c
“Funny. I was sure he would have told you.”
that blow was so low i think cinder hit the concrete with that one
oh god theyre gonna get to the bit and i-
“Is that what all of this has been about? You called me here to remind me that I'm autistic?”
/SCREAMS
The words were delivered firmly, calmly, but Cinder’s response was the opposite, sudden upheaval seizing her. Her expression opened in something akin to panic. “Wh—no? What? No! That's not what I—”
/SCREAMS
oh my GOD CINDER YOU HAVE FUCKED UP LEGENDARILY!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD SHE WAS FELL ASS-FIRST ONTO A LANDMINE OH MY GOD
offal hunt v1 cinder: im totally in control and im playing glynda every step of the way
offal hunt v2 cinder: OH JESUS OH FUCK OH NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT-
Cinder seemed genuinely stressed now, speaking quicker as though trying to bury the last sixty seconds.
i knew this remaster would have sections that would blow me away but this bit really took the fcuking cake DGHSJFSJHFDG holy SHIT this is AMAZING
It was difficult to tell in the low light, but if Glynda wasn't mistaken, there was a bright flush of embarrassment coloring Cinder’s cheeks.
this is SUCH prime content hey remember in one of the early liveblogs that cinder would descend into full dork? WELL THE DESCENT CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pops bottles
“Cinder.” There was a very real line of threat in Glynda’s tone. “Don’t.”
oh this whole scene just keeps getting better i am LOVING this dynamic now!!!!!!! before it was all pretty one-sided so having the conversation rock back and forth is 👌👌👌
That Witch soul of yours—it was designed to void out everything but the prey before you. To be numb to all human emotion. To focus on the hunt and nothing else.
finally the fruit of 50% of my fingerguns COMES TO LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! PLOT PLOT PLOT
“This is bullshit.” Jabbing an accusing finger at Cinder, Glynda said, “You’re a liar. You’re a criminal!”
i LOVE glyndas pottymouth in this its such a good like... change from her being strict and formal and teachery and now shes full on gremlin huntress hell YES BABY!!!!!!!!!! GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“There’s all kinds of things I bet he never told you.” Cinder continued. “Did you know he was close to your predecessor? The Witch who came before you—they were inseparable.”
SRY IM LIKE STRUGGLIN TO COMMENTATE because so much of this like. speaking as an Old-Ass Reader this is like. a LOT! A LOT HAS CHANGED and yet,,,, stayed the same,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yall kids WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHAPTER LIKE................ 15 FOR THIS SHIT (but like. chapter 15 was different because this chapter used to be like chapter 7? so now everythings moved along so chapter 15 doesnt sound that impressive but trust me it was a different fic back then)
When they fell away, burnt and ruined, she could see Cinder’s bare arms for the first time. The red lines drawn across her skin sloped down the entire length of her arms, circling her elbows, carved into her wrists. They ended right at her hands, ensuring any long-sleeved garment would hide them. Every covered inch of her was filled like a canvas, like abstract art.
lets pause the fight scene for glynda to be gay!!!!! god im. okay look i said this earlier but im so glad we have more cinder like this tbh. the first version was rly lacking w/ cinder content until late-game when the plot sorta. got itself going? but now we’re eye-deep in this content i LOVE cinder i love this WEIRDO who is a HUGE LOSER and IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And Glynda could not dispel the fear that she had been telling the truth.
and after committing Some Amount In Damages, we’re at the end of the chapter!
okay so i really enjoyed this version SO MUCH MORE. everything abt it was polished and worked together so much better and it really needed the space to breathe in its own chapter. its been horny, gay, intense, hilarious, and way more in one chapter and its SO good this really is PEAK offal hunt!!!!!!!!!!!! good job diesel and kc but im still going to murder you both,
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tumblunni · 5 years
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Aaaagh i wanna MADDIMAN COSPLAY
I just woke up and for no reason was all MADDIMAN COSPLAY
I awaked full of GRAND DETERMINATION FOR THIS GOAL
How would i even pull off the hair tho?? Like friggin.. Latex mask technology?? Im thinking all complex shit about how to wire a squiggle and wrap it in rubber so it has some degree of swaying in the wind while i walk. And then i'd have to have like a push pin thing on the end to keep it from falling off, and stick it to one of those morphsuit masks in order to pull off an eyeless look, but how do i get one with custom two tone colours aaaa
And i'd have to do more wiring to pull off the high collar attachment to a labcoat. and it probably wouldnt be feasable to make the full IV stand accessory just cos i wouldnt wanna take up too much space and bump into people at the convention. But i could also try and do the rubber mask liquid stuff to make the heart? And stick a little clip on the back to make it attatch to my shirt in a way that i could still unclip to do goofy antics. Like itd be so fun to go around a con and be like 'watch me juggle my heart lol'
Also hmm how to make slippers that arent really slippers but actually have more heavy duty soles on the bottom for long convention walking, and some straps to make sure they dont slip off. And i'd probably have to do Knockoff Madds Time and turn the red cross pattern slightly sideways cos the whole stupid red cross foundation legal nonsense is rather heavy in britain and i dont wanna risk it even if its quite unlikely a charity legal representative would be at comic con. YOU NEVER KNOW
Actually maybe i'd be able to make actual yokai wibwobs if i learned all this complex mask technology...? THE ULTIMATE SQUIDGEY ROUND JIBANYANS
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sol1056 · 6 years
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a bunch more asks waiting their turns so politely
These are all various asks about the likelihood of a remake, a rewritten season, or a spinoff. 
1 could we get an alternate version 2 is a rewrite for S8 a viable option 3 would they change the ending for a spin-off 4 are single-episode edits possible for S8 5 will S7 reactions affect S8 6 how will DW get us to watch S8
Behind the cut.
With the shitstorm that vld became, would dreamworks ever take pity on us and remake some seasons of voltron that turned out like crap, or not even air, just release them as alternate versions on dvd? Im questioning the possibilities, not the probabilities, bc Im really not optimistic about that, I just wanna know if a show can do that and what would it take for the company to snap their fingers and be like "lets do it" (besides having money)
It’s not like frequent reboots don’t have precedent in other franchises; hell, comics do it on the regular. It’s also much cheaper to do a series of graphic novels or full novelizations geared towards an older audience. The problem there is that Dreamworks isn’t a comic book company or a publishing house; that part of the franchise would have to be farmed out to someone else. 
My guess --- if another remake is ever a possible option --- it’d be several years down the road. The first version would be set aside as, say, the Y-7 version for kids and family, and then you’d find a new angle for the next version. 
If DW got the impression there was a massive older crowd (say, 25-45) who would’ve eaten up a more mature, somewhat darker, version? Sure, why not try to grab that audience? I mean, look at the Castlevania series: it’s not pulling any punches on making clear it’s for adults. That would also require a different business model, since what adults like to buy for themselves is very different than what kids want. Skip the cake toppers, for starters. 
do you think given the reaction to VLD S7, is a rewrite for S8 a viable option? I feel the fandom is divided about the general reaction to S7. If JDS and M can just [focus on the fanbase segment] that liked it, why [bother trying to fix it for those] that didn't?
Given what I’ve been seeing in terms of data from the season... I think they aimed to please everyone and ended up pleasing no one. 
Pretty sure I’ve said something to this extent before: when you can’t please everyone, the answer isn’t to split the difference and piss everyone off. The answer is to pick your audience and give them the best damn story you can. The rest will sort itself out.
Let me put it this way: there are enough people who didn’t like S7 for the crummy animation, the OOC dialogue and actions, and the nonsensical storyline overloaded with a host of new characters that stole time from the actual protagonists. And there are also enough people who didn’t like S7 for queerbaiting the audience, killing off three out of four queer characters, and sidelining the one remaining queer character. There may be some overlap between those two sets, but taken together, those two sets are pretty much the dominant majority of the fan base. 
I don’t know if that makes a rewrite a viable option, but it should be making a few execs think twice about letting the EPs/staff carry on in the same direction. I mean, you want a series to end on a high note, not an ‘omg that had such potential but boy did it self-destruct in the last two seasons’ note.  
So if DW wants to do a Voltron spin-off, would they consider changing the ending to VLD to give Shiro the things he earned so this spin-off wouldn't be dead out of the water?
That would depend entirely on whether they’ve gotten the message that Shiro’s current status isn’t good enough for a significant part of the fanbase. If all they’re hearing (or all they choose to hear) is that it’s great to sideline one of their protagonists with no in-story explanation whatsoever, what’s to tell them there’s anything that needs addressing?  
Additionally, if the entirety of the issue is Shiro --- and everyone else is just fine, thanks --- I’m not sure that’d rate as enough to warrant changing so much. More likely any spin-off would start some X length of time between, and we’d get an implied intermediary backstory (or even a mild retcon), and go from there. 
Truth is, whomever gets the spin-off will (I really hope) be a better writer and not have to deal with intrusive newbie EPs. Even then, they’d be kinda limited on what they could do, given the spin-off does need to make sense placed against the first series. Then again, VLD hasn’t respected its own premise or continuity for the past few seasons, anyway. 
So I guess there’s always the option to start with an episode that retells VLD’s ending... Kinda awkward, but not unheard of, to basically retcon a previous series out of existence.  
I have no doubt DW is looking into what went wrong with this season. I know it might be a little to late to fix all of Season 8, but do you think they would have at least maybe the last few episodes changed to give a better ending to the show - or at least more respect to Shiro as a character?
Normally I’d say no. I mean, episode 1 should have characters making choices that in turn impact episode 2, and those choices prompt the events in episode 3... but that’s a logic VLD threw out the window somewhere between S3 and S4, and it’s only gotten worse since then. 
In which case, oh sure, why not? It wouldn’t make any less sense than what they’ve already got planned, if S7 is any indication. 
Could the reaction to season 7 cause any change the execs minds going into season 8? 
One problem: this is a Dreamworks production, but it’s not a DW-owned story. It’s a franchise: there are other players involved. There are the two guys who first butchered GoLion into Voltron, Toei whose story got that embutcherment, Netflix as the distributor, along with Playmates and Lion Forge and other contracted partners. There’s a lot more people at the table than just DW. 
It’s one thing for the EPs to say they messed up, and apologize. It’s quite another for Dreamworks to admit publicly their lousy (or nonexistent) oversight allowed the situation to happen. 
Legal would have apoplexy, for starters. What wins you a franchise is often showing you have the confidence (if not sheer chutzpah) that you can do this job justice like no other. And then you hit S7 and must admit you hired people who made a complete hash of it? 
If there’s anything that will cost the EPs any future roles of a similar position, it’s that they’ve put DW in a very uncomfortable position. Caught between a furious fanbase and overly-interested co-owners, someone --- or several someones --- are treading very lightly right now. They’re not going to forget the EPs are the ones who precipitated the whole mess. 
I think we are in a unique situation where the fact that the EPs were vocal about [changing] VLD ... could be a blessing for us & DW. [But we know it] was changed, & DW's part seems to be more negligence than direct fault like the EPs. So DW can drop it or fix it, and a rewrite would be worth us sticking around, while restoring DW's name.
Again, that depends on whether DW is in a position that they can do so. I assure you they’d throw the EPs under the bus at the first opportunity, because that’s how the corporate world works. So their failure to do so is either because they don’t see the EPs’ actions as untenable (as far as we know), or because doing so would expose DW corporate to greater retaliation from elsewhere. (It could also be part of the agreement that these particular EPs are in place for the duration of the series’ production, too. Sometimes that happens.) 
I still can’t get over the fact that the EPs were so blunt about having already had a script fully written when they asked to revise. From the Studio Mir leaks, we can guess at least some of the animation was already in production at least a year ago, or earlier. That’s a lot to redo. 
Here’s something that only just occurred to me, when I listed the co-partners in this franchise: the Koplar brothers. These are the geniuses who figured they didn’t need to know Japanese to make GoLion into an american production; turns out they were geniuses on some level ‘cause it was a hit, anyway. They went on to produce Voltron: Fleet of Doom (1986), Voltron: the Third Dimension (1998), and Voltron Force (2011). If there is anyone at the table who’d be likely to have nostalgia goggles, it’d be the Koplars. This has been their ongoing story in one way or another for over 30 years. 
Originally, the EPs said they weren’t tied to nostalgia; they weren’t going to redo the story as it was, but the story as they remembered. (I’d argue this actually indicates a stronger set of nostalgia goggles, but eh.) Their determination to get rid of Shiro has always felt like nostalgia goggles to me. Perhaps the Koplars were the greatest supporters of Keith as BP --- since that would respect the pattern they’ve followed, over and over, in all the iterations. 
Considering the Koplar’s somewhat litigious background over Voltron ownership, they may’ve had the ability to overrule. So... if you want to bench Shiro, you pitch your work with the execs who are most likely to agree with you. And if you can do that in the window between the previous VP of TV retiring and a brand-new external hire coming on as VP... welp, you got permission, and the new VP may’ve signed off, not realizing the impact. 
Which would put DW over a barrel, in some ways. If DW could’ve overruled their partners, the EPs never would’ve been able to make that end-run in the first place. 
How do u think DW will try to get us to watch s8? They & the EPs have shattered our trust and the show is so messy its almost unsalvageable. 
Stay to see X point's resolution? Yeah, we stayed many seasons for nothing, next. 
We have more rep? Ex. blonde girl is autistic... So we should be scared for her too??? 
There's more queer rep? Yeah, we heard that one already. 
Unless everyone responsible is fired and a new crew runs the next seasons?
I don’t know. I would hope the answer is ‘by giving us a story that makes sense, and creates closure for all the protagonists, and not just by making two of them emotional rewards for two other characters.’ 
At this point, there is only one thing that’s going to make Dreamworks change course: if the fallout from VLD impacts its other projects. If the majority of the VLD fanbase up and announced it would be boycotting She-Ra or Fast & Furious or Trollhunters on the grounds that DW screwed up so badly with VLD that it cannot be trusted... Then you’d see movement. If the PR got so bad from so many upset and angry VLD fans that major news outlets paid attention and started writing articles about the situation, that would also put a black mark beside Dreamworks’ name -- and then you’d see movement. 
With the VLD toys a failure (for whatever mismanaged reasons) and a financial model set entirely on toys, fixing VLD now would be throwing good money after bad. Unless, of course, there’s an impact beyond just this single series. 
Until Dreamworks can see the impact in some concrete sense, they have far more to lose from their partners than they have to gain from their fanbase. It’s just how it is, with corporations in late capitalism. 
You want to make an impact? You tell Dreamworks ahead of time, and then you follow through: pick a week and go silent. Nothing about VLD, here or on twitter or anywhere else. No reblogs on She-Ra updates. Ignore the podcasts. Don’t click on the articles. That stuff’ll be there when the week is over, after all. Show DW what it’s like when a fanbase checks out, by doing it. It’s a short-term boycott, but the reason groups do boycotts is because they work. 
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gracelandmp3 · 6 years
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if you're still looking for asks - who is/are your dnd character(s)?
BOY HOWDY DO I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT MY OCS also i dont think ive ever fully written them all out like this before i really have,,,,, lots huh
ok so my main bitch, who ive had for like ,,,, damn this frog game @torpidglory is running has been going for almost a year now thats wild - anyways her name is hadassa silverstone & shes a black dragonborn uhh,,,, failed revolutionary & priestess of the raven queen? mechanically shes a level 5 grave domain cleric w a criminal background and a Lot of issues - im kind of overhauling her right now in terms of like personality / rp stuff bc i know a lot about her backstory but i never really decided what kind of person she is? shes ,, the reluctant mom friend & she believes in fate and i think she tries to believe that most people have good in them & she should try to find it, but that kind of goes against her instincts (she grew up on and off the streets & was adjacent to the thieves guild, her dead twin brother was a member) so its something shes working on. she was a casual worshipper of the raven queen for most of her life and i think originally joined the temple as cover / to give her comrades access to a safehouse? but then over time she developed a really deep connection to the raven queen & now since the first thing she remembers after her whole backstory Nonsense which i dont have time to get into here went down is waking up in the temple, she really believes that her goddess has a plan for her & brought her back to life to achieve that. (sorry i think about hadassa a lot shes probably my favorite oc and i would die for her shes got a whole playlist which is a wip but like.. so u know how serious i am) 
then just continuing in order of when the games started we got ifrit kheferu, a tiefling sorcerer whos part of this dragon religion we made up?? narratively hes a favored soul but mechanically his sorcerous origin is phoenix bc i wanted to play an immolator but dnd doesnt super have that build so i improvised - anyways hes got a god complex & thinks hes a prophet & the dragons speak to him and also hes a pretentious nightmare twink..... hes heavily inspired by ephrim friendsatthetable and somebody else who i cant remember, hes only level 1 and we havent played this game in a Minute bc its a rotating dm west marches thing & i think im running the next oneshot (his full list of titles is the Reverend Ifrit Kheferu, Flame-touched, Lightbringer, Lesser Dauphin of the Coruscat of Thalia - formerly of the Marid, Third Flagship of clan Ifrit)
then we got Val, my bouncer paladin from the dungeon world game that my friend james is running - theyre a temple guard at the temple of the Lady, which we created during world gen as like.... a sanctuary for vice and stuff like that?? (weird things happen during the quiet year its a fun game lads) anyways the Lady is the goddess of thieves, luck, & protector of all those who use the roads so within the walls of the temple compound is kind of a combination hostel, casino, brothel, and marketplace? like generally the vibe of the Lady is that thing of where a bartender ends up being ur therapist, except that theyre a priest - so val is a bouncer, pretty much, but w a divine connection. theyre legally required to scam people in order to keep their quest boons. 
last but not least, brand new and untested, is ismene assam, tiefling swashbuckler rogue & first mate of the pirate ship la salope. she hates furbies, loves deals, and was gonna be my only non spellcasting character but, well, tieflings - her spells that she gets from her infernal legacy are like friends & charm person & stuff so i think she doesnt think of them as magic, just like,,, force of personality - i rolled on some tables from xanathars guide for backstory stuff and i think she was born in the city of dis and then moved around a lot growing up - one of her parents is a devil and she has some connection to nobility maybe?? i think she scammed her way into a court somewhere & ran off after getting engaged or married to a princeling im not entirely sure - again, untested. she cheats at cards, cant resist a bet, thinks she’s more or less unconnable, and shes gonna be EXTREMELY fun to play. her original concept was a gunslinger who’s just zoe from firefly but a tiefling, so theres still a bit of that in her? but shes changed a LOT since then
anyways i have a Problem and i play way too many divine classes
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sparatus · 7 years
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You probably knew I'd ask but… Teia for the OC Meme, please? Thank you! ❤️
i would’ve had this done like an hour ago but my wifi decided working is for squares
Full Name: aediteia epirian
Gender and Sexuality: it’s complicated cause of cultural stuff but as far as humans r concerned she’s a cis woman, and she’s pan
Pronouns: turian crestless pronouns, which translate to she/her for humans
Ethnicity/Species: turian
Birthplace and Birthdate: she was born on the citadel in 2106!!
Guilty Pleasures: cheesy romcoms, silly kids’ cartoons…. stuff that people generally don’t consider “appropriate” for a middle-aged Professional Reporter™ yknow
Phobias: abandonment, failure, she’s not a big fan of the wildnerness since she was brought up on a space station that’s literally five separate cities
What They Would Be Famous For: being the councilor’s wife and being a big-name reporter obv
What They Would Get Arrested For: NOTHING she’s a goody-two-shoes who’s actively terrified of doing anything bad enough to warrant legal attention
OC You Ship Them With: i guess ierian does sorta count as an oc at this point lol esp since bioware didn’t care enough to give him very much personality in the first place much less a full name
OC Most Likely To Murder Them: honestly who would want to kill teia…. she’s not bothering anybody she’s a nice lady
Favorite Movie/Book Genre: romance, spy movies, and she grew to love legal dramas because of ierian’s love for them
Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: despite being a sucker for romances. she Hates it when two romantic interests have no chemistry. if the romance is shoehorned she does Not like it. she also hates it when two characters start off absolutely loathing each other but by the end decide they’re in love Because The Plot Demands It. she’s very finicky about her romance nonsense is what im getting at
Talents and/or Powers: the power of sheer fucking adorableness she’s really charismatic i guess?? like not in a way that’s really obvious but in the sense that she’s good at making people listen to her
Why Someone Might Love Them: she’s an absolute sweetheart in general, very motherly and soft-hearted for a turian
Why Someone Might Hate Them: she can be a bit cowardly and anxious, and i’m sure there’s ppl who would whine about her being a cute pixie-like woman who likes traditionally “feminine” things
How They Change: she goes into basic training really shy and nervous and with really low self-esteem, but over the course of her life gradually becomes more confident and outgoing (while still being quick to retreat if she thinks somebody’s mad at her, because some things you can’t quite shake)
Why You Love Them: she is good and perfect and pure and a fairy fucking princess, also she’s one of my oldest m.e. ocs not involved with the eijalsen crew so i’ve had a long time to get attached to her
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