#like im straight up not gonna find em sorry

[dorkszn]

COME AND GET THAT + logan howlett

SYNP — being home for the summer from school isn’t so bad. it isn’t so bad until your motorcycle stops working. and your dad tells you to call over the man that inspired you to get the bike in the first place and the closest one who could fix it, his best friend and your longtime crush, logan.

WARNINGS — masc reader, age gap ( no duh ), reader’s dad is kinda a dick, subbot reader, oral, petnames, logan’s a little mean, slight degradation, kitchen sex, hair pulling, eventual smut, porn with plot | 3.4K ( im sorry 😭 )

PART TWO ( coming soon )

Summertime. It’s such a wonderful time. You get out of school and can drive back to your hometown. You see your parents and siblings and get to flop onto the mattress of your old childhood bedroom.

But your favorite part? Getting to see your dad’s best friend, Logan. Who seems only to be getting hotter and hotter with each passing year. Only maybe you’re just getting more worked up and shy with every year that passes because each summer you can barely stand to look him in the eye or be alone in a room with him.

You’ve been home for about a week or two by this point, getting back into the comfort and schedule of your hometown life. Luckily but also somehow unfortunately, you have yet to see Logan since you returned. Hell, he probably doesn’t even know you’re home.

So imagine your surprise when you’re standing outside of your parent’s house with your dad, examining your sleek motorcycle that just wouldn’t start. You know how to do basic motorcycle care that of course, Logan taught you. He was the one who inspired and motivated you to get the damn bike anyways. So why were you surprised when your dad suggested calling him?

“Guess I’ll give Logan a call and see if he’s busy. He should know how to fix it,” your father says in a small sigh as he stands up straight.

“Wait, call Logan?” You repeat even though you know it’s dumb question and that you were just nervous to see him again since winter break.

“Yeah, Logan, you got a problem with that or something, squirt?” Your father responds slightly mockingly as he repeats your obviously odd question. You just grumble slightly under your breath.

“No, dad, just… go ahead and call em’,” you say in a sigh as the two of you stalk back towards the house. After that, it only takes half an hour before the inevitable and you see that familiar pickup pull into your driveway.

You reluctantly trail behind your dad like a clingy pup instead of a grown man to go greet Logan. You don’t miss the way he smirks with his signature cigar between his lips as he very slowly drags his eyes on your body.

“And when was I gonna find out my favorite college kid was home?” Logan asks gruffly, plucking the cigar from his lips with an outlet of smoke. His voice damn near sends shivers down your spine everytime you hear it.

You just opt for shrugging and giving him a casual smile. “Find out when you find out, I guess,” you say and of course, he lets out that little chuckle and snort that you love so much.

Logan puts his calloused, large hand out for you to greet him correctly only for him to grab your hand and pull you into him. You can’t help the small, very unmanly yelp that leaves you when he grabs you so suddenly. The smell of him hitting you so quick it damn near makes your mind spin. Cigars and ash and wood and leather and just him. Gosh, it almost drives you so crazy you barely notice the light headlock he put you in.

When you do finally notice, it definitely does not help the flare of heat in the pit of your stomach. You try to brush it off, tugging at his incredibly strong and veiny biceps with a small grin to pry him off of you. Finally, he releases you and you can’t help but take in a relieved breath.

“Still as much of a little shit as ever, kid,” Logan taunts, placing his cigar back between his lips. Lips that you wanted to feel on yours so bad. “You sure you ain’t getting smaller with each year?”

You roll your eyes for the second time that night. He knew you weren’t getting smaller. It just seemed like he was getting bigger even at his grown age. And damn, is he big. 6 feet 2 inches and 205 pounds of pure muscle. “Yeah, I’m sure, Logan,” you end up mumbling in response as you stuff your hands in your pockets.

Logan just chuckles again. “Yeah, okay,” he responds sarcastically. With another puff of smoke, he looks to your father then your bike. “So, what’s the problem, Bub?” He inquires.

You trail your father as he walks Logan over to your motorcycle. The same model he recommended years ago. You barely listen as your father explains the situation to his best friend, your eyes stuck to the man in the red flannel.

“Looks like you just need an oil change, kid. And your fuel filters clogged,” Logan says in a small grunt as he stands from his kneeling position next to your bike.

“Damn, squirt, you can’t tell when you need an oil change?” Your dad questions, pinching the bridge of his nose. You frown slightly and your brows furrow.

“I just didn’t notice, okay?” You grumble in reply.

Your father sighs before looking back at Logan. “Could ya fix it, Howlett?” Your father questions, folding his arms over his chest.

“Oh yeah, could change the oil if the kid wants. The fuel filter, on the other hand, you’re gonna have to replace the part. I’m assuming you don’t just got one layin’ around here,” Logan explains and he dusts his palms off.

“Perfect. Time for the kid to learn to do something for himself,” your father says with a grin of mock-approval. Oh, how you wish your mother was here instead. Logan just lets out a small chuckle that seems just a little bit forced. “Well, I gotta head off to work. Help Logan out, will ya? Get him whatever he needs or asks for.” Your father sighs to you.

He’s going to leave? The two of you? Alone? Does he actually want you to pass away? “Yeah, dad, I got it,” you say to cover up the way your heart almost immediately started racing. Then it was only minutes later before you were watching your father pull out of your driveway and zip down the street, leaving just you and Logan.

Logan turns to you and damn you could almost feel the way he looked at you. You nervously pull your eyes away from the street and to Logan who offers you his usual smirk when you look at him. “Get me your old man’s box, will ya?” He requests.

“Yeah, sure,” you murmur before turning and walking back towards the house to get your dad’s toolbox. And are you being paranoid or is he definitely watching you walk away?

You eventually come back with your dad’s toolbox in hand. Logan turns to you when he hears your footsteps despite them being damn near silent. He’s always so astute and aware. It scares you and somehow turns you on at the same time.

“Atta boy,” Logan says as he takes the box from you and holds it like it weighs nothing more than a bottle of water. “Thanks, kid.”

Atta boy. Gosh, what would you give to hear him say that again. “Yeah, no problem,” you respond. You can’t help but watch him for a few minutes before turning and walking back towards the house. Your father would definitely force you to stay and watch Logan so you could “actually do something right.” But thankfully and also unfortunately, he isn’t there and Logan could care less.

And for the next 45 minutes, you spend your time inside trying to distract yourself from the man outside. The man you were home alone with. You leave the door ajar just in case he needs anything which of course he doesn’t. He’s just that good, right?

You lean against your kitchen counter, feeding your cat, James, a blonde cat who is somehow more accident prone than you are, blueberries. Your mind is practically running on autopilot out of boredom. But you’re acutely aware of the sound of the front door opening and shutting. As well as the heavy footsteps coming towards the kitchen.

Logan turns the corner, his flannel gone, leaving him in just a tanktop and jeans. A tanktop that practically put all of him on display. The muscles and veins in his arms, the firmness of his chest. Specifically that vein on his right biceps that runs all the way down to his forearm.

There’s a few oil marks staining his skin, on his neck and arms and chest. A little on his cheek. How the hell did he get that dirty? Hell, not like you’d know. You hardly touch the inside of that motorcycle, willingly.

His dog tags hanging perfectly in between his pecs. How you would love to trade places with those things right now. “S’all done, Bub,” Logan tells you as he steps further into the kitchen.

“Right, yeah, thanks,” you say, reluctantly stopping your ogling to grab him a water from the fridge. Logan flicks his hands as he finishes washing them and takes the water from you. He leans against the counter across from you.

“How’s college treatin’ ya?” He inquires, watching as you feed James another piece of fruit.

“It’s okay, nothing special. I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice school but it’s not like it’s Ivy League or anything,” you answer in a small shrug as you pop a blueberry into your own mouth. Logan can’t help but watch your lips and throat as you do so. His eyes shamelessly trained on you.

“Well atleast you got somethin’ going for ya,” Logan murmurs, finally looking away as he folds his arms over his chest. “Got a boyfriend waiting there too?” He asks. You give him a look. He chuckles. “Or a girlfriend.” Logan adds.

You just roll your eyes which contrasts the smile on your face. “Answers no to both,” you answer, watching James pluck the blueberry from your fingers. And Logan feels a little too happy to see that little smile on your face again.

“Really?” Logan replies, raising a brow in response. “Those little college kids to stupid to see what’s in front of em’ or something?”

You look over to him and see his little eyebrow raise, a quiet snort leaving you. “I don’t know. I just don’t talk to people like that. Hard to be seen when you’re acting invisible, y’know?” You say nonchalantly.

“Gotta put yourself out there one day, Bub,” Logan sighs. “Can’t keep comin’ back to this place and just hoping for it.” You watch him as he speaks and you can’t help the way your eyes repeatedly drop down to the soot on his muscles. You gotta get those stains off before you go nuts.

“It’s more of a choice than anything,” you tell him as you turn and grab a clean rag from one of the lower cabinets. Logan’s sharp eyes follow you as you move around the kitchen. “People there just don’t really “impress” me.” You add as you wet the rag with warm water.

“Oh, boys there ain’t good enough for you, huh?” Logan questions teasingly, that grin returning to his face. You step in front of him and hold out the damp rag to him. Logan silently gestures to his skin in response.

You swallow and suddenly, your heart is beating a million beats a minute. Your eyes fall from his to his chest and neck as you slowly reach the rag to his skin. “Nah,” you finally answer lowly as you begin to gently scrub at his skin. “All the way in university and still ain’t mature enough.” You mutter, watching the oil stains fade away under the rag.

Logan’s eyes are low as he looks down at you, his eyes trained on your face and lips as you speak and wipe him down. “Oh right, not mature enough f’ya,” Logan murmurs. “Need an older guy to take care of you… don’t ya?”

Your hand pauses on his chest and your eyes move back up to his. A swirl of desire and need mixing in his dark eyes. His gaze alone almost makes you shutter. “Yeah… think I do,” I say in a slightly hoarse whisper.

Not knowing what else to do, you let out a barely there breath and raise the rag, going to swipe at some of the stains on his cheeks. Your heart almost stops in your chest when he grabs your wrist instead. His other hand comes up to grab your jaw, forcing you to keep your eyes on him.

“And what would your old man think about that, huh?” Logan questions lowly, his breath fanning your lips. You part your lips to answer but your words get caught in Logan’s rough lips. Your whole body tenses up for a moment before immediately melting into him.

You let him hold you, you let him push you back into the other counter behind you. You let him slip his tongue into your mouth, the taste of his earlier cigar still lingering. But it only serves to make you weaker. You groan into his mouth as his large hand suddenly slips from your wrist to your crotch, squeezing you through your sweatpants.

“School got you all pent up, yeah?” Logan asks in a huff of a breath as he just barely pulls away from your lips. Once again, he steals your lips before you can answer. Palming you through your sweatpants while his tongue explores every inch of your mouth.

He’s not wrong. It’s been just you and your hand for months now. And somehow Logan just barely touching you through your sweats is better than any night of you fucking your fist.

You can’t help but whine into his mouth when he pulls away, his hand running over your hips and waist instead. But the feeling of him pressing himself against you in his jeans quickly silences your whines. His half-erect cock grinding against your as he rolls his hips. Logan pulls back in a low groan, a thin shiny string of saliva connecting your kiss-swollen lips.

“Been thinking ‘bout you since winter, Bub. Y’know that? Pretty ass been on my mind for fucking months,” Logan says to you in a heavy breath as he swipes his thumb over your bottom lip. You just look up at him, still in slight shock at it all but your mind falling prey to the pleasure and want.

“What? You wanna do something about that?” You question quietly, your voice not matching your smug and suggestive words.

Logan smirks down at you a bit. “Damn right,” he answers, his hand on your chin shifting to your hair as he grabs a fistful of it and tilts your head to the side. His hips rolling against your again as he sinks his teeth into neck. His name falling from your lips in a whimper.

Your hand subconsciously falls to his belt, weakly trying to still his hips against yours which of course doesn’t work. Logan pulls his teeth from your neck while simultaneously guiding your hand down from his belt to the growing bulge in his jeans.

“Feel that, pretty boy? Feel what you’re doing t’me?” Logan mutters against your bruising skin. And you do feel him. A lot of him. It made you lose your breath further while shooting sparks of further arousal to your gut. “Wanna help me out, Bub? Little favor for changin’ your oil?” He requests as he sucks at your flesh, hungrily and greedily.

You move almost immediately to your knees. Breath shaking as he backs up just a bit to look down at you. A devilish grin covering his face. “Well, aren’t you just an obedient little thing,” he comments as one of his hands finds his belt, the other still in your hair.

Your heart pounding in your ears as you watch his belt unbuckle, as he unbuttons his jeans and zips them down. Your mouth damn-near watering as he tugs down his pants and boxers just enough for his dick to spring free. And oh, your jaw is going to be aching for hours.

“Look at you, all cock-thirsty. Nobody been givin’ you any attention, huh?” Logan says as he pumps himself a few times, gently guiding your head to his already leaking tip. He doesn’t have to ask before you part your lips. Maybe it was a little pathetic how quickly you dropped for him. But you couldn’t care less at the moment.

You let him sit himself on your tongue and he just basks in the view. A bit of his pre dripping onto the pink muscle. That sight alone pushed him further, pushing his hips forward until he was almost buried in your throat to the hilt. “Damn, pretty boy, you done this before or something?” Logan groans before he’s moving.

His hand in your hair keeping your head still as he begins fucking your throat. You try to keep the tears from glossing up in your eyes as he hits the back of your throat but you can’t. He doesn’t mind.

“Fuck, how has nobody claimed this perfect throat yet? Taking me so fucking well,” Logan grunts, staring right down into your glossy eyes. You let out a choked whimper around him in reply, the vibrations of the sound going straight to Logan’s cock, making his eyes fall shut as he sucks in a sharp breath. “Right, can’t answer with your mouth full of dick, can you?”

Another muffled whimper which results in him tugging on your hair. “Guess your old man was wrong, huh?” Logan pants over the sound of his balls lewdly hitting your chin, a mix of his pre and your own drool slicking the skin. “You did learn to do somethin’ useful. Damn good cock-sucker.”

Your hands hold onto his thighs as he repeatedly stuffs your face to the hilt, his fat tip kissing the back of your throat. Your nails dig into his skin through his jeans only for his eyes to roll in response. A hoarse and gruff “oh fuck” slipping through his teeth. “Been doing this for those college boys? That how you brought your little grade back up?” Logan questions roughly as he looks down to you.

Such a pretty sight you are. Eyes watering, lashes glistening, mouth full, and your lips a wet mess of your fluids.

“Mmm,” your denial doesn’t leave as words, just muffled choked sounds. A small smirk grows on Logan’s face.

“No? Ain’t that a shocker. You’d— shit— you’d make some good fucking money. Sucking cock for cash, clearly doesn't take much to get you to anyways,” Logan says, almost taunting you with his words. Taunting how fast you got on your knees for him.

You can only respond by pressing your tongue flaccid against his cock, feeling his veins pulse over the muscle. Only for him to tug on your hair when you swirl your tongue over his tip. “Fine by me,” Logan says, his voice breaking into a breathy moan. “Pretty little throat is all mine.”

You feel your own hard-on twitch in your pants at that. The idea of being all his. Even if it’s just for the summers and winters. Logan doesn’t miss the way you take him in more greedily, the way you keep letting him glide across your tongue, the way your breathing just barely steadies when you finally find a rhythm.

“Yeah? You like that idea, Bub? Being all mine?” Logan says strained, the snap of his hips growing sloppy and stuttering. All you can do is let out a muffled groan around him, staring up at him with your big eyes as the tears finally slip over. They only worsen their streams as Logan pushes your head down, giving you hardly any room to breathe as his cock twitches and he cums down your throat.

He doesn’t let you go until you’re digging your nails into his thighs again and he finally lets go of your hair. You pull away and practically gasp for the breath you lost. Coughing and heaving and sniffling as dribbles of his release rolling down your chin, followed by your tears.

“You okay down there, Bub? Too much?” Logan asks as he chases his own breath.

“No, no, i—i'm okay,” you manage to get out as you wipe at the tears and your slick chin. Logan’s low eyes drop to the tent in your sweatpants between your legs. His eyes then pull back up to yours.

“What time does your old man get off?”

[shotmrmiller]

Ahhhh frothing at the mouth over ghost spotting you on a set. 

Adjusting the belt snugly around your waist, you position your hands and lower your head beneath the bar. Glancing down, you shift your feet until you find a stable, even stance. You point your chin to the ceiling and push— lifting the bar a couple of inches. 

Then put it back down. It’s heavy. Real heavy. Doable but you��ll need a spot. 

The shell of your ears prickle, and the increased blood flow to your muscles from the vasodilator in your pre-workout is giving you a pump. The time to push your limits is now.

Turning to look at your choices, you see him. He’s huge. Big biceps, wide strong back, and tree trunks for quads— wearing a half-face skull mask. Unapproachable. And the people currently in the gym are few. So it’s either him or the older folk lifting lightweight dumbbells.

As you approach, you patiently wait for him to complete his leg extension set. Catching his attention, you greet him with a friendly wave and a polite smile. He removes one of his headphones and looks at you expectantly.

“Hi, sorry to bother you, but uh— could you spot me,” and point over your shoulder, “over at the squat rack?” 

He nods so you jog away, back to your machine, and go through the motions of prepping for your exercise. Tightening your belt, you regulate your breathing when suddenly two thick tatted arms encase you from over your shoulders and they grab onto your squat bar— before centering it on the hooks with a grunt. 

Your cheeks are on fire. That noise he just made is gonna haunt you in your dreams. Clapping your hands, you shake off your inappropriate thoughts and focus. Setting your feet under the bar, half squat under it and align the bar on your upper back. Gripping the bar as narrowly as possible, you widen your stance and lift. 

Standing as straight up as you can without locking your knees, you inhale and start to lower— your thighs are visibly shaking from the sheer weight of the bar. Once you reach the dip of your squat, you exhale and push off with a soft grunt. Then it feels like you stall— and at that, you feel his body heat close to your back— his large body spooning yours. You think about bailing when his massive hands wrap around your entire waist and push up slightly, giving you the little help you need.

As you get back up to the starting position, his hands continue to hold you steady as you step forward to re-rack the bar. You loosen the belt and hunch over, hands on your knees—letting out long, slow exhales. A gentle tap to your mid back grabs your attention and you look up to your spotter.

“I barely helped, that was all you, love,” he says with a deep baritone voice.

His voice alone makes you blush but his accent will be the reason your panties end up having a wet spot on them. Damn.

He raises his fist towards you to bump, and you tap your knuckles against his a little too eagerly. 

“Name’s Simon. If you ever need a spot again, just let me know. And if you’re hungry, I know this one breakfast place we can go to. My treat.” and you nod enthusiastically.

You wonder if telling him that you can cook him breakfast back at your place is too forward of you.

A/N: Im gonna write the other boys for this i NEED ALL OF EM AS MY SPOTTERS.

[braxlrose]

CAN WE GET THEM BILL NSFW HC PLS 🙏🙏 LOADS OF EM’ TOO. TY MA 🫶

SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG 😭😭

(MY ENGLISCH IS SO BAD IN THIS OMG IM SO SORRY 😭)

I'm a full on believer that this man loves everything.

Titties, ass, thighs etc.

I don't really think he likes one more than the other, he loves them all and whatever he can get he'll take it 😍

The first time you two did it was super fucking awkward

Yall didn't know wtf you were doing but you ended up getting the hang of it and it was really sweet

Yall know what aftercare is? Bill is the actual defintion of it.

See ^^^ 😇

He will clean you off (if you guys didn't use a condom), make you a bath, light fucking candles and all that shit, wash your body, hair, (ik bros got the best shampoo and conditioner), and once yall are out he'll kiss your entire body

Get you snacks

Water soda juice

Whatever you want, he'll find a way to get it

He's a really intimate guy so he doesn't like the thought of just falling asleep after and not giving you any reassurance

I feel like he really likes any position where he can see your face aka missionary, mating press, legs over his shoulders, up against a wall, cowgirl, etc.

He just loves seeing your facial expressions

Plus it's harder to hide your moans if your not face down in a pillow 🤭

Unless he's super horny

He takes his time with you

He'll kiss you what feels like forever before moving down to your neck to fill it up with hickies

And then once he's finally done he'll lay on top of you and suck your nipples

Bonus points if you have piercings there

And he does all this shit with his hands

Grazing them lightly up and down your body to make you shiver

He'll give you like a million hickies on your stomach and boobs

He also definitely does the thing where you make a heart of hickies

Like I said, HE LOVES taking his time with you

Also

HE DOES THE KNEE THING

bros a big ass mfn tease

ima be upfront

he's a little asshole

Backtracking a bit to making out is when he does it, and right when you start humping your dumb little cunt against him is when he stops

cuz he's a fckn asshole

Loves hearing you whine

It makes his dick so hard

And I think we all know he's got a big dick

So he likes to prep you a ton before putting it in bc he doesn't want to actually hurt you

He's eats you out like his life depends on it

And he actually doesn't understand guys who don't like going down on girls

Like full on straight guys who don't like doing it? Makes NO sense to him bc he loves it

He loves toying with you little clit and the way you grip his hair as he shoves his tongue out of your dumb little hole

You've got hair down there?

He doesn't care

Pussy is pussy and he'll take what he can get bc he loves it

He also feels bad if you've sucked him off and he hasn't done anything yet

He believes in equal balance between you two

ON THAT TOPIC

If he's sitting on the edge of the bed while you suck him off, he's gripping the sheets like his life depends on it

Unless you're going too slow

Then his grab your hair and face fuck you until he cums 😍

As long as your okay w/ that

He doesn't want to do anything your not okay with

Which means the first couple times you guys had sex he was asking like a billion questions

"Is this okay?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Do you want me to pull out?"

"Did that hurt?!"

"Are you positive your okay?"

"Are you sure"

"If you want to stop we can"

You're gonna have to shut him up, even though it's super sweet 🥰

If you guys are ever trying anything new, he always makes sure you're okay with it and even while in the middle of something he makes sure your okay, just in case you wanna stop

SHOWER FUCKING 🗣🗣🗣

It's so good

It'll usually start out w/ you two washing eachothers body and then either one of you or both of you get horny asf and just end up making out with his dick pounding you like the world will stop spinning if he stops

And since yall are already in the shower, there's already some aftercare done for him

He said in an interview once (I don't remember which one) but he likes girls who are a challenge so he really likes brats

I don't think he'd be like a hard dom or anything, (I could never see him as one) but he does like putting you in your place sometimes

But he doesn't like power dynamics with sex, he gets grossed out by that kind of stuff

He doesn't like feeling like he's got power over you or can manipulate you or something

That makes him sick

But he does like brats and I stand by that 🙍🏻‍♀️

Anyways

Sit. On. His. Face.

He loves it

"But I'll crush you" bro does not care AT ALL.

69ing is a must sometimes

Sucking his dick while he fucks you with his tongue? He'll cum so quick you guys

Which brings me to riding him

He loves it so good

As much as he likes being a top, having you on top of him just using him to cum makes him cum.

You just look so fucking good on top of him he can't help it

OMG SUCK HIM OFF IN AN INTERVIEW???

I can just imagine him trying to hide his face and moans while talking

Him bringing his hand under the table to put on top of your head and bob your head up and down his dick

He'll start coughing like fucking crazy if you accidentally gag on his dick

He likes the adrenaline of getting caught, but to actually get caught?

Nah he'd die on the spot.

now ik some people will disagree with me on this, but I don't think he'd wanna share you with tom

Ik some people headcanon he would, but like I said before he's a very intimate person and wants to be the only one seeing your body

ANYWAYS HOPE YOU ENJOYED ❤❤❤ LEMME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE POOKS 😘

[suryp]

Date: unknown

Year: inconsequential

Region: central Tartyryn straight

The snow crunches beneath our feet, the wind howls like the devil, and while we all show fear, I've reason to think my brothers know not that we walk over a frozen sea, more than 30 metres deep with fish heavier than our entire platoon. I doubt my commander knows, either, but that suits our real mission just fine.

The mission. Ha. Everyone knows the only safe spots for a town are off shore, we've already done the math, there's nothing out here worth finding.

Good thing Commander Reijean is such a greedy fuck, then.

"HALT!"

Thats him right there. Most would say he just wants to prove himself, but I know better. All humans hide their worst traits, tone 'em down for the public. We're all worse than we seem on the outside.

"..."

"whats out their c-"

"shut your trap private, I won't have my skill split be-"

*Crack*

"Mission complete, I suppose"

In an instant, Clark pulled out the rifle on his back. it was cheap shit, like all the gear for this trip was, but He's among the best "weapons guys" I've ever met.

Fortunately, the gun jams, and he vanishes into the blizzard.

"Clark? Buddy? Clark? Clark!"

"Circular formation, weapons up, we are-"

"...Commander?"

Just a few more to go. Our platoon used to be larger, but wandering for days on end through an empty void of ice and snow will take its toll. Just a few weeks ago, we might've won this fight.

Good thing banshees are smart, then.

"SpLit up!"

"Commander?"

"Split Up!"

"h- He's right. we're no more than a larger target like this."

"Just gotta find the right time for it."

Sabotage wasn't the plan, and it leaves a bad taste, but there's nothing for it.

"Now."

"..."

"..."

*Cr'Ack*

"..."

*Crunch*

"..."

And finally, a blood curdling scream cut short, by a few extra holes in the lungs.

I stand up, spread my arms wide, and make myself the most clear and easy target I can."

-...-

Two hours later

The blizzard dies, I see my siblings dead in the snow. Three have a mulch of bone and Metal shards, alongside frozen blood, in place of their heads. Commander has a crushed neck. Charlie's kevlar is punched through, frozen blood all along his chest.

There's a sixth carcass, some ornitherian, I think, though it's hard to tell considering how much was eaten. The ribs are gone, and only Two and a half legs remain.

I begin to walk off. A meal, even the frozen remains of a hippogriff corpse, is the last thing I d-

*crunch*

"..."

"you not fight me. why?"

"..."

"all humans try to kill us. take sea from us. take tyk'yk from us."

"...take egg from us."

"..."

"you not fight. why?"

-

alright thats a wrap! The official intro to Fisher and the Flame and the world of... well, I suppose she doesn't have a real name yet but hey, we can make this work.

for a bit of context regarding appearances, if you need that, "Ornithere" and "Hippogriff" refer to pterosaurian animals, most similar to (and heavily based on) Trollman's "Cuvier's Isle" a small spec one-shot. It does not refer to the serinean animals of the same name.

Banshee are a bit easier to describe, being a rough combination of Utahraptor osstramaysi and a Leopard Seal, very similar to @tales-of-kaimere's *Updated* xuul design, along with the Adzakoordu and the White Cockatrice, as well as the Tamakai.

The narrator, Jake Fisher, is getting a drawing, by someone who appreciates men far more than I.

now go read about kaimere on Keenan Taylors twitter, bluesky, deviantart, and youtube channel, along with trollman's various sickass works on the same websites.

-

edits: minor word changes, removal of unneeded dashes, and Commander is now cishet, because killing the first queer confirmed in story feels a bit too rude.

Reijean is still his name tho, since there has to some reason this unit was sent out.

also added a new tag. sorry y'all.

(im just gonna use the most extreme and broad tags that, since im exceedingly apathetic but do want to tag things correctly)

[liaximagines]

Could I request Midori x gn reader, like where he has a soft spot for the reader? Well as ‘soft’ as Midori could really get,, thank you!!!

SOU 'MIDORI' HIYORI HAVING SOFT SPOT FOR HIS S/O

👗So at the very start let's settle a small little thing. Midori HAS a heart, just a cold one, but he's able to be soft once some bond is between the two of you.

👗I feel like he was spoiled rotten by "mamadori" (nickname i use for his mother LOL) when he was little and overall very loved by her. Same goes towards her, he ADORES his mom. In conclusion, if Sou were supposed to be soft to you, you'd probably remind him of his mother a bit!

👗Now let's get straight to the point. Midori's behavior won't change completely, he'll still tease you, lovingly bully you or play some silly pranks on you, BUT he'll have more mercy for you than for the others he "bully".

👗If you two move in together, expect him to be ALL over you. Sou might follow you around yours place like a lost puppy hdshs. His hands will probably hold your waist, hip etc. so you "won't get lost" in your own home ofc.🙄🙄

👗In public, Hiyori might hold your hand as you walk around together! On fancy dinner dates, once he slides his hand under the table, he might even trail his fingers over your leg gently.🤭 (Just to see ya flustered tho..)

👗If you're feeling down don't expect him to do much shit..he's kinda bad at cheering people up lmao. BUUT if he's feeling genuine enough, he'll sit down next to you, rub your back ond go like "Oh you poor thing..Worry less now! Life's gonna just get worse tomorrow ahaha!" So uh yeah lol.

👗If someone's talking shit about you, Sou's already getting ready to give 'em a consent form. He down bad for you frr.( off topic but I'd piss my pants tbh if a lettuce head bitch walked up to me and was like "do you know the asu naro vow?!??!?!" but hey at least hes cunty and hot)

👗If ya'll sleepin' together, he'll cuddle you like a teddy bear. Wherever and how you turn in your sleep, Sou will find a way to cuddle you just how he likes it. ^^

👗He may not seem like the type to enjoy being given orders to, but when it's you, HOHO HE LOVE IT!! Lettuce haired bitch will give you princess/prince treatment if you order him to.(Might even use ma'am/sir if you want ;3)

👗BUYS.YOU.GIFTS. From spoiled to spoiling. Name a thing, he'll get it. Midori's rich anyway so why not. Even if you not ask him to, he'll buy you clothes he thinks you would look good in. Makes you do a fashion show for him lmao.

👗Did I mention he loves to touch you???(ANY WAY POSSIBLE LOLL) Like hear me out, this man will pat your head everyday, not to mention that he kisses your cheek everytime before he leaves to work. While sitting next to each other he rubs your knuckles with his finger tips etc. So yeah, physical man lol(IN BED TOO JK JK)

HIIIIII, IM SORRY FOR NOT BEING ACTIVE BUT I WAS LAZY ASF LAST WEEKS LOLLL. BUUT IM GETTING SOME FREE TIME SOON SO I WILL POST MORE OFTENN. TYY FOR REQUEST YTTD CUZ I LOVE THESE REQUESTS<3 LOVE YOU!!🫶💙

[guardian5tiger3]

Mental health

+Advice & guidance from spirit

Pick a group tarot reading + channeled messages

*I may upload more groups in a new post later on.

Options

1

2 3

4 5

Group one

You guys seem to be the avoidant types more or less. This could show as you straight up trying to hide from your problems. You guys may have heavy resting periods most likely due to depression. This could make you guys stagnant in life and possibly hold onto things that do not serve you and or make you feel secure but that keeps you in an almost unhealthy comfort zone. This may show up as bad character. For a lot of you it seems that in some way your family has had expectations for you that which you feel you are not able to fulfill. You may feel lesser about yourself because of this and you are lacking individuality, or personal freedom to be yourself in some specific area(s). Im getting it's because you were made to feel like you can't be yourselves in these ways. So real talk. Spirit's advice. If you're already into this term then spirit is saying do shadow work, and what I mean by that is you need to go within yourself and identify problems like these, and you need to want to help yourself get better and do that so you can feel better , because life is not worth sitting around feeling less than. You guys really need to nurture yourselves, step up, take risks, go outside of your comfort zone because even though that seems tough it is well worth it when you come out of it on the other side of doing so. You guys I'm being told you all need to focus on treating yourself the way every good human like yourselves deserves to be treated, dignity, respect, and being told and believing that you do deserve good things and to be yourself. I'm really getting you guys should put more work into self care whatever that means for you. You guys if you aren't confident you need to build yourself up, take risks. Someone specific needs to try dyeing their hair. You need to embrace yourself for who you really are, understand that you're beautiful, and you are a gift to the world. There are other people out there who will appreciate you for exactly who you are. And even if some random asshole judges you, fuck em. Carry that attitude maybe. Peace loved ones. I heard that from California girls 😂so one or some of you like that song?? Okkk 💚 good talk guys.

Group two

* I can sense some of you who are going to pick this it doesn't resonate, so sorry for picking Luna and misleading you, but please read some of this to make sure..

I feel like you guys don't know what it's like to be healed in the way that you should be. Like it doesn't even seem appealing so why even try? You guys. You need to think about this. You feel that way because you do not know what it's like. I feel your pain is deep. Some of you this isn't at base level mental illness this is trauma. Straight up. I feel a lot of you feel unworthy. Some of you don't know peace and you can't find it within yourself. A lot of you might not even notice this about yourselves but you're just holding on. To your sanity , you're holding onto trauma, stress, negative ideas put in your mind, whatever it might be. I'm not gonna lie this is a long healing process and I get that it's a big struggle. Some of you do work and try and it doesn't even feel like it makes that much of a difference. I feel like if that's the case you're not digging deep enough into what's really wrong. A lot of you find it easy to act happy so you don't get the help you need even from a therapist. This is self sabotage in a way. You need to at least let your guard down for yourself. Someone I channeled struggles to relax your muscles when you lay in bed. This is serious. I'm getting some of you feel that if you found true love it would almost cure you and they would take this all away. No. And even if it came in now it would not be true love and you all already know why at least deep down. You need to learn to stand on your own and be truly ok. So you guys even have me concerned. But good news. Spirit came through with some good advice and I even doubted they could do it this well. Well let me tell you all what you can do. You all must tap into the energy of love. You need to feel. I mean truly feel everything that you feel. I can feel you guys have love in your hearts. If you listen to that , every single answer is there. Anything you could possibly need an answer for , it's in your heart. As a healer myself , and I feel some of you are skeptical, but I have healed myself from horrible horrible traumas. At a lot of points this was all I could do and it's the only thing that could have possibly worked. Listen you guys you need to get serious about this. You need to be aware and catch yourself with every negative though, feeling, emotion, and you need to then tap into the energy of love and in your heart you already know what's wrong or right and you need to correct it. You need to nurture yourself. You need to think about what's wrong and you need to tell yourself things like that wasn't right it wasn't here's why , work things out in your head and be honest with yourself. And when it comes to grieving and negative emotions. You can't run away or they will stay unhealed. You need to feel them , be very brave and feel them, that is the truest , rawest for of strength. And trust me . They will eventually go away. I have been through some of the worst things and if you want to know seriously you can ask but there things I'm not going to speak about in caution of people sensitive to the topics but this was the only way to get better for me. Some of you of course can take psychedelics because I feel some few of you thinking about it and I need to tell you if you're doing it to heal you need to make sure that's what you're doing when you're doing that. Like go within. Think and feel ok. Don't just let yourself end up dicking around. Don't worry guys. I see you getting better. Not just at the very way end of healing but every major step I see you all feeling more relieved and more balanced within yourselves. It's going to take time. Please understand it's worth it. Another thing to note is if you're feeling like giving up understand the least you can do is take into account all of the other people that have gone through similar things, and if nothing else motivates you maybe true love can , so think , maybe you can help even one person like yourself and be the hero. Be strong guys. I love y'all. ☮️

Group three

You guys seem overwhelmed maybe overburdened and a lot of you might speak of this like yeah I got this this and that going on and plus mental health issues. So I'm saying you guys also recognize and feel that weighing you down. Ok. Well I got yall. I feel like I need to feel my heart for this reading so you guys I think you need to allow yourself time to feel things. Some of you can meditate but I mostly mean just feel all the feelings and emotions you have and feel your bodies , basically practicing mindfulness about yourselves. I'm getting for a lot of you the more organized you have everything the better you will feel. This could be school or work stuff , or stuff in your home, for someone in picking up on makeup for real. But it will definitely make you feel a lot better I'm really getting that. I'm getting that a lot of you guys aren't balancing out different parts of your lives as well as you should be. Some of you work too much. A lot of you might be like well I can't help that but here's what you can definitely do. You can remind yourself to be more calm and practice self care while you are working. You will then have more fun in your free time and won't feel as exhausted . Okay for some a vacation is needed even if it's down the street to a hotel or literally a day at a beach or lake . Also I'm picking up somebody should go to the theatre and watch a movie. Yep. But overall you guys need to go somewhere that will basically bring you some type of amusement or joy or something. I'm picking up on someone who wears their earbuds or headphones a lot. I love music it's my favorite thing in life but if you guys spent some more time working on your present, real reality Infront of you and shaping it how you want to be. For instance observe and decorate your bedroom , Idk. You will therefore enjoy it more and not feel the need to hide. That doesn't mean stop listening to music worst case scenario buy a speaker but I'm saying this because I'm being told you're using the earbuds as a form of escapism and that's not going to help you longterm.

I also see some of you having to manual do so much in your lives I don't know what I could possibly use as an example for this but it's like you're moving brick after brick and in reality like why the fuck are the bricks there in the first place??!you guys this couldn't be made more clear you guys just have to ask the right people or persons for help. You might need to bring some problems to somebody's attention because they shouldnt even be problems especially if this is a work matter but regardless of where it's happening this is true ok. So anyway for a lot of you some energy is taking form you and you need to learn to cut energies off from taking from you when they shouldn't be. Some of you feel like nobody will care or maybe believe you, and that's so not true but you need to speak really loud and really clearly about what's going on , if that resonates with you. Some of you need lights or more lights for a room. Fairy lights are always good :). This smiley face is horrifyingly funny so Im leaving it. Some of you need to laugh. Come on and break the ego you don't gotta be so serious.for some of you you still don't feel like this is going to solve what's going on, spirit is saying this is a matter of going withing and finding out what you feeling you're missing. This very well could tie into a destiny thing, and I personally don't like to give destiny readings cause... That'll mess it up. So it's up to you guys on this epic quest to find the missing piece of your heart. Ok I'm done. You guys have a purpose in life you maybeee don't expect but you're gonna go for it. Even if it's just a side quest. Alright you guys go enjoy a cup of coffee or tea or something maybe a good book or a movie and I hope this resonates and it helps. xxo💗💗💚

Group four

I'm already getting a lot about inner child. One thing I will say is I'm channeling that your inner demons are like your inner child it is just super out of control but we all started as children so hopefully that makes these things less scary in a way. physiologically yeah there are a lot of ways depending on the issues that you know it requires comparable types of nurturing. You guys definitely want to be free but being in that energy I see something blocking you forward in actually seeing something in an og pokemon game with ash getting blocked .if what I'm picking up on is how some of you guys see the world and your lives that's so badass. Nerds. Lol ok anyway. I'm being told to give you the advice to look at this like a video game. If you're being blocked it's because you're being faced with a challenge and you need to overcome that and you will also probably level up right. You guys are super dreamy like I don't know. You guys must be nerds cause I'm being told to guide you through emotional and mental healing in a rational way. I also see the universe giving you things like level ups or tokens or whatever like in any video game at the appropriate times ,so you must have manifested this because I do this too sometimes when I'm anxious at work I choose to look at it like it's a video game. That's crazy. So the universe operates for you accordingly. This group is teaching me a thing or two bout how things work. Some of you might struggle with anxiety though and you then at those times need to remember to bring it down to earth and breath in really deep a good few times as long as you can breathe in. I really just want to tell you guys people might judge you and make you think negative things about yourself and tell you even maybe that there's something wrong with you but there isn't. There's nothing wrong with you guys. But when it comes to whatever pain your feeling or whatever you're going through you can't hide from it or push it down forever. If you guys want a bright future you need to level up to where you're ready to walk into that. And that might mean facing yourself , which is the toughest battle of all if you ask me. But there will never be a stronger warrior than the one who comes out of that fully intact and better than before. Just remember what you're fighting for whatever that may be, if it's love or justice or peace , or to make evil disappear completely. Whatever it could be.im getting for a lot of you you are on some type of high horse though because of what ever happened in the past probably, but when you're alone you do need be real and honest with yourself and let your guard down. If any of you feel sad a lot it's because you have a big heart. It's a sign of something. You should try to figure out what around you might be making you feel like that that isn't right because it's your heart telling you something isn't as it should be. You guys are strong enough for anything that comes your way . Trust me.

Group five

I feel a lot of love towards you guys a lot for you guys your guides are here and they all wanted me to sit for a minute in peace and silence before doing this reading specifically after doing the other ones.

You guys need to refresh your minds a bit. I'm feeling for some you need to sort of change your trajectory a bit. I'm feeling like your ego selves are assuring you you're in the right direction somehow but there's something you're overlooking that you need to pay attention to.

I'm getting a lot of stress for a lot of you. It kind of feels like some of you guys you keep going and going and you're not moving in the right way or direction or something im getting what you're supposed to be looking at is going to feel a lot easier if you do turn in the direction it's in and go down that path. A lot of you guys for some reason are feeling resistant towards this for some reason it's almost like you're in some level of denial.maybe whatever y'all have been doing seems desirable and you don't want to change and I understand that cause I can feel the energy but in some way it's almost like stepping out of your comfort zone or taking a risk for something better and I understand it's hard to make sacrifices like that but I hope you take this advice to give it a try because just trying this is not going to be as life and death as your brain is making it out to be. You still have problems on the path you've been on and this other direction is offering you solutions. I just have a friend an almost identical reading to this and I bet you're here!! Love you ! I want you guys if this resonates to take comfort in that there's multiple of you going through this and I feel in my heart somehow you are all connected and Im feeling it's a lot of heart connection . I feel though that I'm going to break this into having a second part for a specific group of you so continue to make sure if this resonates or not

I keep hearing you guys are nearing the end of something. It seems that you guys are in some way resisting this ending or at least kind of sabotaging it in some way but you don't realize that this needs to take place in order for your desired future to come in. A lot of you guys I'm seeing should look into how to be more disciplined with your subconscious mind. This has been playing a major role as to why some of you have been in whatever more negative energies or stagnancies you've been in. Some of you need to learn how to not be defensive towards good things that come your way and this ties a lot into psychology I think if any of you feel inclined to look into that maybe. For some reason every ending is a bad one to some of you and blessings are scary. This is all about healing ,my friends. My phone is dying so I'm going to go. I wish you all well

[martynsimp69]

HEY! as the second round of the mcytblr sexyman bracket settles in i wanted to take the time to thank everyone that turned out for #saintsweep in the first round. genuinely don’t know how any of this happened, but i was rly touched by the outpouring of support and positivity and enthusiasm from everyone who was willing to commit to the bit. (33%!!! 33!!!! A WHOLE THIRD!!!! 2206 PEOPLE!!!) 

i wanna thank specifically zloy and the bracket team for being good sports about the whole thing -- the nomination started as a joke, but it was from a place of genuine excitement and goodwill, and i’m glad we all got to have fun with it. sorry for not actually fitting the “yt” part of the mcyt sexyman tournament LOL. 

but, speaking of. i’d joked about making a minecraft video if i won when i first saw the nominations, but after everything that happened here in round one i’m probably gonna do it even tho i lost. i feel like i owe it to everyone who turned out and got really invested and also really confused about who this gay little tv was and why they couldn’t find him anywhere (SORRY ABOUT THAT). 

SO!!! one of the things i wanted to do with the potential video was possibly a bit of a q&a; about me/saint, darkwoods smp, the bracket, lore, builds, whatever, idk!! but i figured, y’know, if anyone has questions they wanna ask feel free to send em my way, either in replies to this post or just straight in my askbox, anon or otherwise. 

anyways!! thank you all again for everything -- i appreciate being allowed to take this whole thing and run with it as much as i have. it was surreal and hilarious and overwhelming and i am going to be riding the high for weeks. the bragging rights i got from this are insane. im putting official mcytblr sexyman nominee on my resume. godbless. 

here is a little saint i doodled at work today while i watched the percentages on the poll tick up. love u guys forever 📺

[hanasnx]

heyyy do you have any advice on how to write smut cause its sooo difficult for me *cries in virgin*

ur like one of my fav smutty writers and idk if you have any tips 😭

first off thank u very much i appreciate that :)

this isnt the first time ive been asked for writing tips so im gonna give a lot of info. youre bound to find something useful in this mess

im so sorry but one of my solutions to giving myself confidence in smut-writing was to literally fuck and fuck a lot

after losing my virginity it still wasnt enough experience tbh. so i gave myself room to explore my sexuality and was privileged enough to do it with a partner that encouraged that growth. that experience of fucking sure didnt hinder my smut-writing ability if you know what i mean ;0 but everything else about writing i learned from years of practice. ive been writing since i was in elementary school like id come home from fourth grade and read and write on quotev klsdjfsfj smut writing skills came later post puberty

when i tried writing smut as a virgin i genuinely couldn’t get past the build up. i was fantastic at writing the build up, it was the actual sex part that was hard bcos even tho i had done enough research (i read a lot of porn) it didn’t instill me with enough confidence that i could write it correctly, and so i never did. however! i sure wish i’d committed to it more, so let me see if i can write out some tips that would’ve helped me in the past

(this is just how i write smut, im by no means an expert)

my timeline

the way i write smut is pretty formulaic so i’ll break it down:

hook line ⟹ settings ⟹ build-up ⟹ foreplay ⟹ sex ⟹ ending

☥ hook line. maybe: a dialogue piece to kickstart; an ambiguous line that reels you in; an exciting action. i dont like starting my story with the name/pronouns of a character doing something boring. i.e. “you were getting ready for the day…” idk it’s not the worst thing in the world and we've all done it but just writing out what i try to avoid.

☥ build up is key to me. i have such a hard time reading and writing porn with no plot. i’ll do it sometimes if i like the writer enough, but i rarely write smut without the build up bcos i feel like that’s where the juice is. its whats fun and what you get to play around with bcos the actual sex part of the fic is pretty predictable.

focus on what’s said and unsaid in dialogue between characters. focus on the emotion each of them are feeling and how that emotion manifests into body language.

⟹ dirty talk is not for everyone, but god i love it. literally get nasty with it, this is your writing and we’re all just readin it. build anticipation using dirty talk, make filthy promises, make threats. make your characters talk about the nasty shit they wanna do to each other.

imagine someone you really wanna fuck, imagine the things youd do to them if you had the chance,,, write it into your characters.

☥ foreplay. goes hand in hand with dirty talk, its where the touching starts. decide how you want to play it. who gets oral, who gets fingered. both? one of them? neither and they just go straight to fucking?? i like foreplay, but if youre writing a “quickie” scenario then it may not be in the cards.

lets say it is in the cards tho. so some things to remember:

⟹ foreplay gets the dicks hard. when dicks get hard they leak pre-cum. balls have like no cushion and theyre soft and have little sacks in em that move around. the skin of this genital is often described as velvety bcos its soft. ive honestly never had sex with an uncircumcised penis so i have no idea if there’s a difference between how they feel.

foreplay makes the pussies loose and wet. the inside can be lumpy. it can be ridged or smooth. it can be all kinds of flesh colors like brown and pink.

without the foreplay (which can be verbal communication, or touching of the body or genitals) its a little painful for afabs bcos theyre too tight or too dry. and a flaccid dick is a little unpredictable to try to fit in.

⟹ afabs can have multiple orgasms, amabs are less lucky. afabs can cum and squirt multiple times, amabs can cum multiple times.

⟹ genitals get really sensitive after cumming though. so if you write someone finishing, write out how they might need some time before they finish again or start fucking, or that they get overstimulated getting touched still after they came and that sensitivity is a little uncomfortable.

⟹ the head of the penis is the most sensitive and that’s what makes it cum/orgasm. clits on pussies are the most sensitive and its what makes cum/orgasms happen. its very difficult if not impossible to achieve orgasm (if youve got a pussy) through penetration alone without clit stimulation

⟹ you can cum/squirt and not have an orgasm

☥ sex

⟹ changing positions can change angles and hit new pleasurable spots inside pussies.

⟹ probably write a couple different positions during the sex part, just to keep things fresh.

⟹ sprinkle in dirty talk to prolong the sex scene and to avoid sounding repetitive because if youre writing p in v it’s pretty standard to thrust over and over again until youre done. its a lot less glamorous when you spell it out like that, so you gotta add shit to make the sex scene more enjoyable to the reader whos not actively experience the sex.

☥ ending. i usually end the one shot after the fucking is done.

the smut tips

☥ think back to a time you were really turned on. from a show, from a book, something someone said to you, your own sex life, porn you really liked,,, take inspiration from it. use it and channel that own arousal within you.

if youve got a dirty fantasy and it gets you so hot and bothered thinking about it, write that.

if youve got a partner that fucks you crazy good and supplies you with inspo for dialogue or for settings or for scenarios, write that too. theres been a whole bunch on my blog that was inspired by my boyfriend. not everything, but enough to mention it.

also! another thing that people underestimate is the inspiration you take from other blogs. like mine for example, if you like my stuff take inspo from it. study my writing style and you’ll see all kinds of little tips in subtext id never be able to list for you. i do that with other blogs, i dont copy them but i definitely learn little things i like from them and incorporate it into my writing for a more cohesive story. if i take an idea though i ask for their permission & credit them.

☥ the most important tip i can give you is be as self indulgent as possible. youre wasting time worrying about other people. “will they like this? will people think im weird? what if they think im weird for writing this?” fuck that noise. warn accordingly, and go ham. your self indulgence is your best friend. it’ll guide you through all those dirty things you want to say or do to someone, let it take root and write what excites you. chances are you will find your people, and your fic will be set apart bcos it’s so specific to you that people will be drawn to that. and if theyre not? it ends up not being popular? it doesnt matter! because you had fun writing it right? fuck yea u did

☥ the types of words you use are so important. words that invoke a certain emotion or sexy feeling. its difficult to explain but i try my hardest to use “beautiful language” paired with dirty, disgusting, cacophonous language. marry them together so you can convey whether youre “love-making” or “fucking”. i dont like words that dont look or sound good in my head. like when you paint, you probably use colors you like looking at to create the entire picture on the canvas that’s beautiful. so pick out paints that are pleasing to the eyes. the bold ones and the soft ones.

examples of words i dont use cos i hate the way they sound and the way they look: “vagina” and “penis” LMAO

even “butt” isnt a word i like to use. i’ll almost always use “ass” or “backside”

⟹ the smut writer’s dictionary

☥ i keep comedy out of it for the most part, ive never really seem humor added positively into a smut that added to the experience. its usually physical humor stuff like the characters bumping heads or stubbing their toe or something its just cringy to me idk. if i add comedy (i am not good at writing comedy)i put it before the smut. and if you must have some sort of lightheartedness id keep it casual, light, and personal. like an inside joke or something tongue in cheek. you dont have to hide your deepest desires behind humor , you can be serious

☥ your pain tolerance is heightened so run with that. get spanked its fun

more important tips i love and stand by:

☥ call backs are important to me. it’s like if you have something in the future of your fic to be used, try to incorporate it in some small way in your establishing settings or build up. but it’s not as important to others as it is to me. an example would be in my one shot “talk huttese to me”, at the end anakin fucks reader on the tool table. at the very beginning of the fic, when i had reader taking in the surroundings of the “garage bay”, she scanned the drawer stack where she set his broth she brought him, and the tool table he’d later fuck her on. its kinda like,,, foreshadowing (i think?). you’re setting up your reader to be like “?? i wonder why the author thought it would be important to mention the tool table.. wonder if anakin fucks her on it later.” but even if your readers dont react that way, i still think it ties things together nicely

☥ try to write 15-20 mins uninterrupted. create a ritual. i use the bathroom, refill my water, grab a fun drink like sweet tea, put on a silent youtube video (like my ahsoka star wars lofi live i love so much), listen to a playlist of music (preferably music you havent heard before so it can fade into the background. maybe even cultivate a playlist for the vibe youre going for in your story, aids greatly in creating an atmosphere in your writing if youre translating the music in your ears), and turn your phones notifications off (ofc i leave on notifs for calls in case of emergencies, but i can answer my friends’ texts after my writing session). set a timer so you dont have to keep checking the time.

☥ don’t stop in the middle of your storytelling to check the thesaurus or dictionary. write out whatever word/phrase first came to mind and highlight it to come back to later to alter or replace it completely. you’re interrupted your creative flow and its difficult to come back to it when youre checking the thesaurus every five seconds. this hack was crucial to my ability to stay on task i promise you

☥ avoid sounding repetitive by using the same words close together. you’ll create a fuller story by adding to your vocabulary using the thesaurus.

☥ avoid listing actions, break them up with adverbs at the start of your sentences if you must, or description of things or the place your character is in, or explain the emotion your character is feeling or what that emotion is causing within your character. starting sentences over and over again with the character’s name or pronoun breaks up the flow for the reader.

☥ really try to finish your works in progress even if you think its bad, the challenge of it will help you practice and learn to overcome your own mind trying to hold you back

☥ if you dont like the direction your fic is going,,, and youre experiencing writer’s block:: cross out the most recent bit and take it in a new direction. “oh but indy!! i really have a certain goal in mind!!” great, find another way to get to it because youre blocking yourself from finishing this forcing yourself into a non entertaining corner. switch it up! challenge yourself. “but indy!! i really liked what i had for this scene!!” yea but youre blocked right? youre not writing anything else for this scene and you cant, right? if you like what you have for this scene (an action, a dialogue piece youre proud of, a plot twist) save it! use it for a different piece !

hope this helps you and others!

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

so how does jesses metal ability work i know it has to do with changing the shape of naginata so is the ability to warp metal by channeling his powers through it and if it is why does it need to 2 crystals im sorry if that was explained in his powers post but i cant find that

Jesse's Powers Post | Naginata Plans | Naginata Forms post

Soooo I was gonna save the explanation for when we actually get to the point where Jesse get the weapon, buuuut...

TL;DR; Yes, Jesse's Effect of Metal is his ability to shift his Naginata into different forms. Jesse's weapon needs a Blue Crystal to stop the Chronosteel in his Naginata from ripping out his Elemental Power. He doesn't necessarily need two crystals for this, just one ultimately, but the two pieces of crystal happen to make it easier for Jesse to channel his element through Metal (think of it like a power amplifier, in this very specific case)

Anyway, long answer!

Jesse struggles with finding his "Effect of Metal" because, pre-Full Potential, the only way he can use his powers is by channeling through another Element. And...he never could quite do that with a piece of metal, lol

He tells this to Kai and co. one day, along with his desires for his own weapon, which gives Kai the inspiration for his extra credit assignment (which he and the other ninja are assigned in the next chapter heyo)

Kai talks it over with Karlof (who Kai still doesn't know is an EM because he's so stressed the signs are going over his head), but knows he's open to speak about the Elements, and asks if there's a metal compatible with elemental power. Karlof reveals the rumored existence of Chronosteel, though ofc mentions how rare it is, how hard it is to work with, and the risk of stripping a person of their elemental power. Karlof has the connections to get Kai some, but Kai still has to solve the issue of "ripping out an EM's powers" (and what weapon he wants to make out of it to begin with)

The solution comes when Wu (upon his return) introduces the Blue Crystals to the group (thanks to Mystake), and gives each of the Ninja one. And Kai, out of the kindness of his heart, realizes that this might be the perfect counterbalance to the Chronosteel for Jesse (and it is, since this is also the same way Chen's Staff works —double future parallels here, heyo)

The reason there's two crystals is because it's actually one crystal divided into two. Kai does this for ~the aesthetic~, but it also has the added benefit of making it twice as easy for Jesse to move his powers through the metal (as he can channel them from one crystal to another to enable a form-change faster), with also adding the ability for him to straight up divide the weapons into two parts should he so desire.

And specifics for each of the forms is detailed in the third post-link above! :3

[valentine-writes]

be a valentino, just for you

[ tws + notes: no tws, fluff, what if i told u reader had that DAWG in em, ur jus a lil charmer! ]

↳ ft. the glamrocks + sundrop/sun & moondrop/moon

「 gn! reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

author's note: reader flirting w/ the animatronics. unparalleled charisma. look at you go u flirt!!!!!! (*´꒳`*) unedited and still Not Serious becuz i like goofin off <;3 i had to search up "cute pick up lines" for this. thoroughly embarrassed but. shhh. we stay silly :3 also why are u rizzin up tha robots?!!.??, /lh

GLAMROCK CHICA headcanons:

▸ she's completely unphased im gonna b real w/ u,,,, if ur goal was 2 fluster her u failed!!! i am sorry!!!! :(

▸ her reaction isn't really to get all blushy and shy– itz to giggle and tell you how absolutely adorable u are!! shez all like "oh my gosh u rly are jus the sweetest!!" as u try desperately to convey how u feel,,, i dont think she's oblivious!! jus that she's more casual abt this kinda stuff

▸ loveeesss cheesy pickup lines tho. she'll be thinking abt it all day if u decide to use one on her. mainly becuz she thinks they r silly and adorbz (LIKE YOU!!!!)

▸ if you use pickup lines often w/ her, eventually, she's gonna wanna do the same!!

unexpectedly one day she just goes "wait! wait wait, i got one for you too– ahem... i think i need to go to parts and services to fix my eyes– i can't seem to take them off of you!"

more hcs under the cut!!

GLAMROCK FREDDY headcanons:

▸ letz get this straight. this guy is a professional. he will very nicely and gently pretend to not notice your comments if you decide to flirt when he's doin his job. he is desperately trying not to have reaction

▸ however– if you guys are alone, if the plex has closed, etc, etc– bro. you got him blushing and giggling and shii,,, i think itz a little funnee :] u jus catch him off guard all the time with it.

▸ "i'm very flattered you'd say that" all while overheating. he may collapse. please spare his heart. he has not even the slightest idea on how to react to your charm

▸ really, he does find it endearing and enjoys how bold you are. he just can't seem to find a way to react other than luvstruck!!!! u got him wrapped around ur finger

ROXANNE WOLF headcanons:

▸ ok this goes two wayz. she scoffs at you and goes "yeah ofc u love me" OR.,,...,.. she gets all flustered and nervous

▸ i feel like the first few times you flirted w/ her, she managed to played it off cool. maybe a cocky remark, a little smirk, brushes it off– no big deal to her at all!!!

▸ hah. wrong. you've got her in her charging chamber thinking abt the thingz you've told her. animatronic equivalent of lying awake in bed Thinking,,,, when she realizes ur Genuine abt ur feelings... she jus,, like,.,. EXPOLIDOEJEODKEKZ

▸ that iz when she getz all shy!!!! like "ok, ok, shut up..." and shes looking away all nervy. always secretly worried ur jus messing w/ her– but reassure her otherwise in a genuine manner and she's. well. probably short circuiting.

give her a bit. she'll be able to communicate her feelings eventually (´u｀;) ?

MONTGOMERY GATOR headcanons:

▸ trust u were NOT tha first one 2 flirt if u caught his eye like that,,, maybe he's a little more subtle in the start. but the minute u pick up the clues and flirt back?? he iz so Caught Offguard

▸ HEZ USED TO BEING THE ONE WHO FLIRTS. NOT THE ONE WHO GETS FLIRTED WITH. he winks at you, you shoot one back– he freezes and immediately Walks Away like ok,,, no confronting the Feelings just felt there ig,.,..,

▸ your charisma has him shaken. he's considerably good at keeping calm abt ur little exchanges until he's alone in his green room thinking abt what you've said,,, wondering if u were bein earnest

▸ i feel like he often uses flirting as a way of like,, disguising his feelings as jus goofing off but,, once you two are Finally done beating around the bush w/ each other i fear you two would become insufferable to anyone else who is in the same room as you /j he getz a lot more emotionally open 2 u ^_^

SUN headcanons:

▸ if he already didn't know what to do with himeself and his feeling towards u,,, he iz DOUBLE confused now. never quite knows how to react to you.

▸ of course NEVER when he's working. no. nuh uh. but if it's jus the two of you and you decide to flirt,,, hhhnnghehehdb,,,, he iz jus SWOONING. heads over heels for REALSIES. will have his faceplate spinning as he giggles, thinking abt you and what u say

▸ i think he'd actually burst into tears if u were jus messin w/ him. just. instant sobbing on the ground. he's never met anyone with such a captivating personality– nor has he actually ever been flirted with

▸ always wishes he was jus as smooth as you. tries to flirt back but messes up the delivery and ends up making a fool outta himself A FOOL FOR YOU

MOON headcanons:

▸ makes you stand in the corner to reflect on your actions. i wanna say slash jay,,, but. well. anyways..

▸ moon does not do well with this. not at all. will tell you to knock it off or just shush you. he acts like he doesn't got time 4 ur antics he does and acts like if you stopped he wouldn't care he,,, might??.,..,. no one is ever this friendly or nice to him,,

▸ eventually, he just seems to ignore ur flirtatious actions and words completely. he's definitely not Unfazed though,,.,.. it'll be thinking of whether u really mean what you've been tellin him. worried to make a fool of himself LIKE SUN so it's easier for him to assume ur jus kiddin around

▸ if you ever choose to look him in the eye and tell him that you sincerely mean everything u say though?? yeah he's. he's gonna need a moment. terrible at processing Every Emotion He'll Start To Feel if that happens

[skullbowz]

Not my usual type of posts.

Everything below consists of drama and whatever that happened earlier today

Convinced adults are the most childish and immature people to exist. Especially the ones in the tumblr - creepypasta/slenderverse community ! If you have a problem with a discord server run and operated by TEENAGERS I don’t think it’s the best n smartest idea to drag it onto tumblr, esp since the problem had been long resolved. Just for that I’m being petty and posting about it 🤷

My server is not a bad place. So let’s have a small run through, shall we?? :3

What was said in the general chat right before the person dipped. The full thing didn’t fit on screen but at the top it said “im just gonna leave this here and i'll probably get kicked or banned for it but” (word for word copy n pasted.)

1) the whole point of reaching out to higher ups in server is for them to HEAR YOU OUT. All my mods including me did so and would’ve done in a more appropriate manner IF this person hadn’t done it in a general chat, when clearly it should’ve been discussed privately with me or any one of my mods.

Also it’s apart of the RULES might I add. The LAST rule right before u grab the role to access my server.

PSA this whole thing conjured up bc of an argument that was about slur usage in my server.

This is what irks me the most!!!

- being an adult, being diagnosed, and having experienced someone with an diagnosed disorder does not make you special. I’m glad you and your family are more privileged and have been able to receive real diagnosis and help from medical professionals but that isn’t a case for many. Especially when it comes to minors. Not being diagnosed, and esp being a teenager w mental illness doesn’t make us any less vulnerable then people who have gotten the change to be diagnosed and what-not. Also don’t use ur sister as leverage 😭😭 fake claiming aint cute either babess xP ! “(not accusing anyone here but I’ve experienced it like 4 times.)” is basically implying u believe the people in my server w dissociative disorders like DID OSDD PDID and etc are fakin’ it

SLUR USAGE IN MY SERVER

- this is what essentially caused the issue, because this person started a debate over people using slurs in my server. I was in school at the time this whole happened and only experienced the aftermath but based on the chats I had read and what my mods said in my absence; YES RECLAIMABLE SLURS ARE ALLOWED TO AN EXTENT. — slurs that can be reclaimed by the person using it are allowed to be thrown around moderately and only in joking-friendly mannerisms. If you’re uncomfortable with that then you either ignore em in the server or leave. There was NO NEED to start a issue that lasted several hours.

BOT PURPOSES — TUPPERBOX AND PLURAL.

My server is not a roleplay server and I have made that HEAVILY clear. It’s a creepypasta hang-out which is safe for Systems, IRLs, fiction/otherkins, therians, and other fictotypes. It’s stated in the rules that TUPPERBOX AND PLURAL IS NOT INTENDED FOR RP.

There are more roleplay creepypasta / slenderverse servers out there then just general discussion/hang out ones. I promise if you want to find a RP server to use TB in there are plenty out there. So sorry that MY SERVER RULES state that u can’t rp in there and can’t use either bots for roleplay intentions, esp tupper. Plural is SYSTEMS ONLY.

—

No one was targeting this person for being autistic or an adult. The person they got in a debate/fight w was not a mod either and both parties had gotten in trouble as far as I’m concerned. The person in these screenshots had left my server on their own account and me as the owner and other mods hadnt reacted badly or criticized them for their paragraph. We suggested that next time they pull a ticket like the RULES ELABORATED ON.

Thought everything was dandy and done w. I don’t like drama esp when it leads back to me, until they apparently went straight to tumblr and posted about it, which my mod had came across the post and called them out for before they deleted it.

Not a call-out post. I wanted to clear some air. Please do not go attacking this person or annoying my friend about everything bc I don’t wanna continue dragging on petty drama that shouldn’t have even happened in the first place! My server is inherently not that bad of a place. It’s less toxic and more safe than most places. It only gets bad when people start shit up. I have a rule in place stating (quote on quote)

“Please don’t spam chats with media or copypastas!! Besides the established rules; make sure you respect people’s boundaries. Do not bring drama into this server nor start shit up whatsoever!! People who purposely act problematic will be banned. this is especially important in the CONFESSIONS CHANNEL. I don’t want debates or politics in here either :p this is a CRP and slenderverse server for a reason.”

Anyways thnx 2 whoever reads this - esp the people that had seen those posts.

English isn’t my first language. I’m sorry if anything is worded weirdly or my grammar is wrong . . . :D

[kaguya-muneuji]

OH I HAD A FUCKING CRESCENDO IDEA (FOR THISE WHO SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW :tm: ITS OUR ENSTARS RP GROUP EHEH)

MAGICAL GIRL AU

imagine

CRESCENDO but something like Yuki Yuna is a Hero which i TOTALLY forced you to watch

the heros are the members of the “hero club” or some sort of idolistic club and they go around and sing and dance for everyone else but the main premise of the club is to find sacrifices worthy for “god”—whoever that may be. So when Crescendo’s first mission begins, they freak out.

Kiyama, although excited, has never been beyond this side of the world. Where the gods lay. His flower may be something like… a sunflower, and his weapon being a polaram or breakers or something like that. something with high mobility.

Miharu is given something like. a daisy maybe? (wasnt able to find anything on masking) and their weapon is maybe something defense-related.

Kirina’s flower is a white lily. Since Kirina expresses herself through dance her weapon might be something like a fan or some sort of leg brace based on kicking

Sato’s flower is a lilac, since Sato (i think) values family and close bonds. maybe their weapon is something based on chanting and bringing things together— like the vines itsuki has

Katsu’s flower is a Strelitzia since they symbolize a free spirit. Maybe Katsu’s weapon is a straight up electric guitar or a gun of some sorr

Shion’s flower is a white rose, my gay ass loves to focus on shion’s split between her unit and crescendo, since she can only focus on one after the events of ykyk.

Anyways with these, this idol group is tasked with the duty of protecting the world against the “Vertexes” or the wrath of the gods against humanity.

Hehe what do you think so far?

HI. I GO INSANE OVER CRESCENDO. HIIIIIIII I LOVE THEM SO MUCH DID U GUYS KNOW THAT. ANYWAY I WROTE A LOT IT GOT A BIT LONG SO. MORE RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT ^_^

@twowink @lycanthian @shards-of-brilliance @crooked-corvid hope u dont mind me tagging yall but its ur lil guys (gender neutral)

also im sorry i never got around to watching it o7 i think i accidentally closed the tab for it while doing a tab cleanup KLJHFKJSHDKFJ

also FUCK YEAH . MIHARU WITH DEFENSE. GOD. IM INSANE ABOUT THAT. IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED THEM TO BE LIKE . A PROTECTOR OF SORTS. YKNO . LIKE THEYRE CHILL BUT THEYLL ALWAYS HAVE UR BACK AND AOUR(ITDIFYGSDLIFUGSDFLKJG they have a shield and they most definitely have a helmet that they sometimes wear because im all for the "masking" and "putting on a different face" thing they have going on (if this is how you learn about this then. there u go! altho it seems i alr told you about it mostly . yeah i think i did say somehting about that) anyway. miharu sooo has paladin vibes. hgrhgh

i think kiyama (or katsu) should have gauntlets. they deserve to punch people. altho an entire electric guitar is SICKKK anyway kiyama probably would have Some armor (probably leather) on his upper body bc . hes gonna be in the middle of all these weapons ykno. he needs to be at least somewhat flexible and light on his feet right? hm. i dunno . kiyama and katsu are difficult to think about for this. katsu definitely has some lightning effects going on. That will stay.

SHION. I DIE IMMEDIATELY. OAURGHHRGHGRHGJHRGJRHG ourhg. she'd be probably one of the ones dealing dmg too. give em a sword ^_^ classic fighter. also im putting them in a skirt u cant STOP ME. oh if u havent caught on EVERYONE IS GETTING SOME ARMOR. YOU CANT STOP ME. magical girls outfits with just frills and fabric be damned. I NEED TO PUT SOME METAL ON THEM I NEED TO MAKE THEM KNIGHTS (no not en.stars knights sorryy still love them tho ^_^) GOD. IM INSANE. MAGICAL KNIGHTS WITH FLOWERS??!?!?? OUHGHHHH

heheh ok time for kiri~~ she definitely has high mobility!! aaa implementing her dancing ability into her fighting style!!!!! i think shed try to learn how to fight using a halberd at first but she finds it awkward to move around with and then she (or sm1 else helps) comes up with the idea to do what shes used to: dancing. if shes so used to moving gracefully without holding heavy things then why doesnt she just. do that ? !!!! anyway im putting her hair into a high ponytail as we speak. although im having difficulty in imagining her in armor. ill work on that.

satoo waaaa so theirs would kinda be like. immobilizing enemies? kinda?? ough interestingggggg i think their armor would be relatively light (like kiyamas) but im thinking maybeee . ok i lost the thoughts dammit its hard to think about things for sato too :((

tldr i need to draw them all. specifically i need miharu in flowy fabric and armor. with flowers. and a shield. FUCK now im thinking about hades im sorry (i am crazy ok)

[acaciapines]

If you’re still doing songs - song 69 and 138?

im always up to do em lets GO! i'll put both above the cut n then talk below :)

69. It’s Called: Freefall – Rainbow Kitten Surprise

king misses his mom. he misses his sister. he misses his aunt and his grandparents and mari trying to pin him down and luz letting him crawl under her covers and eda hugging him when he grabbed for her and firefly chirping good morning and good night and throwing out her wings to keep him safe.

“kiiiiiiiiing,” the collector whines, flipping upside-down through the air. “you’re so boring, what is your problem?”

“just tired,” king says. it’s hard to look at the collector straight-on. the thoughts that surround him are a messy array, and barely any of them are his, the way they are for anybody else: it’s a weird conglomerate of old thoughts like those that drift through the sky, but so packed together he can’t make anything out. it’s a beach of golden sand the collector runs through, leaving kicked-up grit in his awake.

“naw, c’mon,” they needle, landing right in front of him. “you’ve been tired forever. be fun!”

he misses his family so bad he’s sure it’s a wound spilling out of him. how can’t the collector see that?

“okay,” king says, “fine. let’s play.”

138. Habits – Genevieve Stokes

ask anybody: edalyn-owlbert clawthorne was never planning to have kids.

never really interested her. not the settling-down part, not the needing to keep another living creature alive part, not the having to be a good influence, gag. nah. kids were never going to be her thing, and so she never sought them out.

and then the little buggers found her.

well. she’s technically the one who stumbled across king, the owl beast’s faltering flight into that abandoned ruin he was living in, but king was the one who followed them both and refused to be left behind. plus, that stone-monster was going to kill him. eda wasn’t a fan of kids, but she didn’t want to leave them for dead, either.

looking back she’s pretty sure the owl beast was laughing at her.

laughed even harder when she took in luz. you’re an apprentice, kid, eda had told her, and the girl had squealed, and her daemon had sat there on her shoulder with her tiny chest puffed out, and something in eda knew this was going to be a permanent thing.

oh well. at least she skipped the changing diapers phase of things.

Discussion

for the first one: oh! hey! this one is relevant to for the future which im writing right NOW! ive been thinking a lot recently about how kings gonna be Doing in that entire like, 2-3 months he's basically on his own with the collector, because i'll be expanding out from what was shown in the show, and just...god. poor kid.

its terrifying! im a collector lover but even i'll admit he is Not great with king, especilly towards the start, and thats not going anywhere--king misses his family and the collector has been on his own for so LONG, and has this sense of entitlement to kings time + space. why does everyone else get a lifelong friend with them since birth? the collector wants that! and if they werent born with it they'll find a friend then! like KING!

its just a LOT. it makes for fun writing though kdnfkgdfg king doesnt hate the collector but oh boy is he not actually friends with them.

this one also makes it pretty obvious what im doing in regards to king being a titan lol but ive decided not to talk so explicitly about that unless im asked a question in which i cant speak around it. i gotta keep some of my secrets!

for the second one: MOM EDA MY BELOVED sorry i literally love that trope so much okay. its so so fun to write. eda really tripped and fell into parenthood like ah shit now ive got to be responsible for HOW MANY of these guys now? two? three? am i supposed to count mari and luz as one or two because based on the day that is a WILDLY different answer.

but yeah <3 its also made even more funny that firefly knew 100% what she was getting into. this was a massive shock to eda, but firefly's been a mom from the start!

also ooooh got that owlbert mention huh wonder what that is about...wonder what my owlbert secrets might be....if he shows up at all....hmmmm...

[echovale052]

All caught up with the Corollary @frenchiefitzhere and lemme just say Eliza was ready to fight Carol the second she messes with the lil baby randi…. (Rant below sorry in advance)

-Eliza is Neighbor

-Beaumont/Beau (for short) is Conservator/Cricket

-when I say Eliza was/is ready to fight Carol I mean me….

-I hate and can’t get enough of Carol she’s the epitome of the magnificent bastard trope and every single episode with her has me on the edge of my seat (she’s so fun to listen to but the sun girl-bosses to close to her sometimes… but she can’t throw the sun against a wall and threaten it)

-Margot you beautiful dumbass STOP (stop with the self sacrifice and stop flirting with Lori she’s gonna smack someone)

-Hays… I’m watching em- (they’re on Aspen’s stupid list, and they’re on mine)

- I’m still highly on the fence about Cricket but that MFer been through some shit…

-*Collective Carol Trauma*

- Eliza has a tendency to give the mom glare when anyone mentions Randi (girlie is so worried… don’t fuck with the mama bear…Carol)

- Neighbor from the beginning has been cool (to top it off they’re an engineer?? As a nerd Im not saying I have a favorite listener but-)

-Aspen and her wife are my favorite people hello?? Margo is like Aspen’s work kid and it’s beautiful :D

-Eliza’s kid is named Laurel. Dina likes to tell her bedtime stories.

-They way Neighbor’s heart broke when they heard about Randi and Cricket… (Frenchie straight up stabbed my heart with a screwdriver)

-Dina!! Baby bean!! She deserves to find zephyn… I will fight someone for her.

[ma1dita]

okok catching up on troubleverse WHEWW and i have the perffff song for them, paired with the lyrics verse-for-verse and me screaming shrilly LMAOOO.

but this song is sosososo perf, like everything abt it from the lyrics to the singer's erratically paced singing to the general unhinged vibes and. IT SHARES A NAME WITH THE ENTIRE SERIES TOO OMG-- 'partner in crime' by madilyn mei!! i haven't listened to my folk indie queen for a hot minute but i had to pull it out from the dusty archive of my skull for u 😗😗

When you're gone I feel alone again / The voices cannot hold my hand / They keep me company at very best / Distract me from my loneliness

insanity mention?? dionysus the god of mania?? HELLOOOO CAN THOU HEAR ME [rattling at the bars of containment]

Maybe I'm just an anomaly / Even my demons have their families / Truly something must be wrong with me / To need you as much as I do

smth must be wrong with trouble to need luke as much as she does and vice versa smth smth okay like. i think the whole thing abt him being trouble's ESA from buddy system is saying enough 😭😭

I was never meant to win / [... maniacal laughing] SHUT UP!

THE LAUGHING AND THE MUTED SHUT UP HERE JUST GETS ME. straight chills, ik it didnt happen but during love like a blister if trouble screamed at the other counselors out of rage and the campers heard it the way it sounded in the song UGH. I WAS NEVER MEANT TO WIN. THEY DON'T EVER WIN BC LUKE HAS BEEN DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE OMFG.

Here's the reigns / Take ahold of me / Please don't let me go / You do the talking / Sew up my mouth if I can't keep it closed

BUDDY SYSTEM CODED when they're on the road trip bc the image just comes to mind instantly, like if they see questioning adults luke has to do the sweet talking bc trouble is lowkey a pro yapper and can't keep her mouth shut at all. AND 'here's the reigns take ahold of me' NO WORDS no words at all just vibes bc wdym. i just think that luke being vulnerable to trouble and talking abt his mom as if he were giving her the reigns to his personal life ermm.

Run for it / I'll keep em occupied for you / Cause I love you, I love you so

SOMEBODYS ANGEL SAVE ME SOMEBODYS ANGEL SAVE ME. trouble stepping into the battle with ladon to save luke, 'run for it i'll keep [LADON] occupied cause i love you i love so' I AM SICK. SOMEONE MAKE ME SOME CONGEE UGHHH.

I'm 'bout to die / Yet the only thing I find i'm worried about is you / Something tells me you aren't coming / Guess that I'm truly doomed

i saw ur synopsis of asking for trouble like. he's dying and the only thing he can think abt. is trouble??? r u kidding me? and then trouble supposedly pleading his case with the olympians in the as above so below synopsis DONT TELL ME that trouble is gonna be too late for luke and so he dies thinking that she still hates him (based off what im assuming from the when the curtains close synopsis, 'all strings r cut' WDYM??)

I overhear your brain when it's close to mine / Oh, I know that we're not the same / My heart's on the line / I'm just a pawn in your game / Not your partner in crime

JO THEY R SUPPOSED TO BE PARTNERS IN CRIME HELLO. solipsism c'mere i just wanna talk bc drunk!trouble seeing luke from a different timeline and KNOWING HE'S REALLY THERE BUT IT ISNT HIM = 'i overhear your brain when it's close to mine / oh, i know that we're not the same' THEY ARE ON DIFFERENT WAVELENGTHS IN THE MOST LITERAL SENSE POSSIBLE WITH TIME in this essay i will--

You're slowly killing me / Taking your- (I was never meant to win)

luke to kronos, the titan is slowing killing him from the inside out the longer he's possessing luke. HE WAS NEVER MEANT TO WIN UGH. i need to put maddie and u in affectionate jail bc ASDFGHJKL goodbye i am finished. troubleverse is sososoo evil, like this is srsly what everyone else feels when they read jubi bc if it is i am so sorry for everything.

to conclude jo, ily but i also am gobsmacked with my mouth hanging wide open and catching flies bc this whole thing is unbe-fucking-lieveable. the way u built their whole ass relationship from the ground up and swung a baseball bat into it like ok i need to take a business month to process this for reasons known and unknown, my bags r packed up at the airport, who cares abt my chem grade, it is sabbatical time WHEWW

THEOOOOO IM SCREAMING UNTIL MY HEAD EXPLODES THE SONG REC IS SO GOOD??? how tf did i miss that

i am so happy that you made the troubleverse part of your day it is an honor to have you connect the dots from your perspective and see how everything is playing out!! you in my brain ill make you congee BAHAH you've been the only one to put some of the dots together for the final arc (or at least voice it, thank you for being brave) and i will neither confirm nor deny but your analysis is pretty spot on for someone who binge read it today thank you so much!!

study for chem no rest for the weak >:( love youu

[presumenothing]

assorted translation notes on the novel opening sprinkled with peanut gallery comments (or possibly vice versa, idk):

yes that is a cluedo reference in the case title i couldn't stop myself and i'm not sorry

"…of the sixth month": not july, because this is in lunar calendar

"lucky pattern lotus parlour": ok i spent like at least One Whole Minute considering whether or not to talk myself out of this one. still didn't, still not sorry, alliteration funny

"bingshan town": could also be pingshan, flip a coin

anyway li lianhua arriving in their main street with his wholeass house like. it's Free Real Estate

"town god/local shrine": original term here is 土地庙 for the record. anyway who's gonna write the crackfic where li lianhua wakes up one morning in some random town to find that the locals have set up an entire shrine offering right outside complete with massive incense burner and all

wait hang on li lianhua was spring cleaning for TEN DAYS STRAIGHT??

"surname Li, named Lianhua": if anyone has come up with a better way of rendering 姓李，叫莲花 please tell me because i haven't

pov you're swiping through tinder when suddenly one of the profiles is just like Jianghu's #1 Most Very Mystery every biodata field is We Just Don't Know, Man and the pic is a badly circled cryptid sighting (idk i don't use tinder)

(li lianhua voice) "excuse you i didn't do two things i just did the same thing twice. technically speaking"

"lifelong learner": well Actually what the results for 皓首穷经 kept insisting on giving me was "hoary head" but i didn't go with that, so there but for the grace of me goeth you, shi wenjue

im sorry but the true utter crack au where he picked 李乌龟 instead (because yknow. turtle. house and all) and we are forced to live with the consequences

yunhe my dude you should've just bought a roomba instead of wasting your money on that incense and letter paper

"precious softwood": specifically nanmu, which (to collective unsurprise) was also used for shipbuilding, among other things

just........ the sheer over-the-top hercule poirot short story energy of this entire intro part, really

"king of hell": none other than 阎罗王 ofc

"a sound of dismay": he straight up "aiya"s here. i just could not figure out how to work it in for the life of me

"dust and sawdust": curse this stupid language that made both of these words contain dust this sounds So Awful

it has been 0 days since li lianhua last said "ah" (the counter never moves past zero)

toss em eggs, bystanders, we believe in you

(cheng yunhe walking in) you live like this??

"could only work with what he had, dead or otherwise": the original actually invokes 死马当活马医 (a saying which Literally means "treat a dead horse as a live one"), blast the english language for not having an equivalent

fang duobing's intro paragraphs? 10/10 sheer hilarity no notes

....why is "commit robbery"" up there on the list next to "plant crops"

"melancholic young master": 多愁公子 (he's got 99 worries and somehow li lianhua is all 100 of them)

how HAS fang duobing known li lianhua for literally just as long as he's been in the jianghu tho

ok three crackfic proposals in one post is a bit much even for me but. the one where li lianhua keeps accidentally digging up non-dead people/lost treasure/unmentionable secrets when actually he just wanted to borrow some onions for tonight's soup. honest

(this may possibly just be canon)

aaaand fifty taels, welp