#like im on meds now so i can enjoy things like being productive snd eating and sleeping and seeing a nice tree and such
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explodes and dies and blows up and perishes
#vent#i think ive lost the ability to have fun#like im on meds now so i can enjoy things like being productive snd eating and sleeping and seeing a nice tree and such#but nothing has felt fun in like 2 years#i also have no money and i want to turn transparent or become a sheet of paper or get shrunk down really small like an ant#i dont like to talk about any of it because it feels worthless. i dont like to ask for help because i dont deserve it.#i dont like to show that i’m not having fun because it’s boring and unpleasant. i don’t like to show that i’m not ok bc it upsets others.#i want to do things that i know i should be having fun with and not have it feel like a chore#like another checkbox to tick in order to succeed at surviving another day without hurting anyone more than i do by existing period
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