#i dont like to show that i’m not having fun because it’s boring and unpleasant. i don’t like to show that i’m not ok bc it upsets others.

[endcant]

explodes and dies and blows up and perishes

[angeloncewas]

yeah i totally agree with what you said about satire and schlatt basically taking the easy way out. it seems like since that video he's kinda eased back from doing that shit, either bc the backlash or bc his friends have started verbally calling him out on it, both to his face and through making comments about him on stream (comments as in like saying they dont agree with what he did and saying they thought that video was terrible, not like them shading him or whatever ajsksk) which is good but also i wouldnt be surprised if something like that video happened again just bc like. it is his career and at this point he has to know what his larger fanbase is like to an extent, which means he also knows those terrible fucking jokes will make him money. i dont like that, but im also not gonna sit around and pretend like i cant see the fucking obvious, ya know? from what ive seen of him when he's not putting on a show for his main channel, or when he isnt around people who both encourage and enable his bad behavior (not saying this to shift blame, ive just noticed how he goes from making actually funny jokes that are harmless or, at most, a pretty obvious example of him poking fun at shitty people, at least imo, to like. straight up just being offensive when he's with people like swagger, miz, etc. vs ted, charlie and so on), he seems like a pretty good guy and its pretty clear to me that he doesnt hold the same views as the character he plays up for his main channel but that doesnt change the fact that his audience is now full of the worst kinds of people and that is how he makes money.

as someone who, again, watched idubbbz, as well as filthyfrank, they both stated they were playing characters and they didnt agree with the shit they were joking about, joji especially, but them saying that isnt very well known by even their own fanbase who just watches their main channel stuff, bc the one video where joji made that explicitly clear what he was doing, he later deleted for people harassing him in the comments (it was an old ass video where he basically said that playing those characters was giving him literal health problems, specifically stress induced seizures, and his comments were so bad that he never made an ooc video on his main channel again) and the one video i can think of where ian explicitly said he was playing a character was like an hour long podcast with h3, which most people dont even wanna watch bc it is a painfully uncomfortable one hour, considering the fact that they are supposed to be friends. besides that, the only other time they were really out of character was in vlogs with maxmoefoe, and they still did their offensive bits from time to time bc it was still going up on youtube, even if it wasnt their main channel. compare that to schlatt who has, as far as i know, never explicitly said he's playing a character, and the closest he has gotten to saying that was in some weekly slap video that i cant remember the title of bc all those videos kinda blend together if im being honest. like they definitely show a different, better side of him, but they are also all really short videos with only gameplay to watch and he never even promotes the channel, so its not like the shitty people watching him are like "hm time to take some time out of my day to go watch big man schlatt give people advice and be a genuine person for once", right?

idk. schlatt is just such a weird person for me bc like. he is a big comfort for me, i really do enjoy his content when he's not making bad stabs at satire (bc sometimes he does it right!! but a lot of the time, at least recently, he has just missed the mark entirely, to the point where it feels like he wasnt even trying to hit the mark at all), but he is also so uncomfortable to watch sometimes just bc he seems to either not know where the line is, or thinks crossing it is okay bc its him playing a character and that's not fun to watch as a minority who often ends up being apart of that "punchline".

that aside tho...yes, unfortunately idubbbz does still make content (and i say unfortunately bc it is not very good) though it seems like he is very slow to upload and last i checked, the views arent too great, but ive seen worse. probably the only thing that could bring back his views at this point would be a content cop, but like a year or so back he said he has no plans of continuing the series bc he finds it boring now, which is fair enough. i dont really keep up with him anymore, but as far as i know, he just got married to anisa and he streams on twitch sometimes, besides that the dude is a mystery to me!

—🦷 (also im sorry if this is formatted weird, for whatever reason tumblr has indented each of my paragraphs with one of those grey line thingys and it wont let me remove it. if it doesnt show up in the actual ask then ignore this!)

This is kind of old now (sorry), but I still wanted to respond because I really appreciate your perspective :)

> I always wonder how people not involved in the fandom view Schlatt. Because wasn't there this thing about Hasan genuinely thinking that he was conservative? And like he obviously doesn't now, but does that not impact how he sees him and his content? I don't mean to dictate friendships - of course - I'm just curious as to the impact of having that audience from an outsider pov. I remember being shocked what that thing happened with the pdp fan, but I later found that many people weren't because they knew the nature of the audience he cultivated; maybe I'm just stupid, I had no idea. (Not that Schlatt and pdp are the same, it's just a loose comparison.)

> No one should face harassment, but I doubt Joji deleting that video helped his case. (I mean ig it worked out in the long term considering everything that happened with his music, but yk.) I'm very sorry for the health problems he faced with the characters themselves though. I don't know much about him but that sounds awful.

> I have thoughts on The Weekly Slap, but I think they make me sound bitter and don't add much so just know that they're there ajfdkjdf. I will say that he doesn't seem like "Jschlatt" in them, and moreso just a guy. I know that he quit it for a number of reasons and one of them was not being comfortable with that kind of connection in relation to his increasing fame, but honestly I think his complete dislodgement from his fanbase isn't healthy either.

> I mean, I get it. I've watched a lot of content from a lot of people - ranging from kind of unpleasant to very unsavory - and it's kind of a weird feeling with YouTube and Twitch stuff. Idk it's like - when I go to the grocery store, I'm not wondering if the guy checking my things out is a racist. When I see a commercial, I don't wonder if that guy advertising chicken nuggets is a secret creep. But with content creation of this kind, it's just a weird thought in the back of my mind. I don't know if this makes sense lmao

> Weird that Idubbz finds content cop "boring." I guess the formula is kind of stale and half of the content was the edge, but it seems like the kind of thing that'd be perfect to capitalize off of around now. Cool that he got married... I think. I mean if he's happy ???

> Don't mind the formatting, and sorry to respond like WAY past when this conversation was relevant T_T. I read it right away but the timing got off with actually being able to type stuff out.

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom ch.2

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with wife @firstofficertightpants

The place actually happened to be like, right on the edge of Little Homeworld. Outside had full glass windows, tall, that reached the ceiling. Inside the lighting was dim, and a bit smokey. You figured it looked alright enough to head in, and gave the bouncer your ID. He nodded and you walked in. It smelt of cigars, and of cinnamon, and it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. A pretty woman in a low-cut red dress was playing the piano on the stage, and it was some contemporary jazz piece. The low murmur of people talking filled the air in between the swells of music, and the place actually seemed busy with people and even gems enjoying themselves. You liked the vibe. It was.. comfortable. At ease. You looked over at the bar, rather than any of the tables, and saw a spot near the end. Perfect. Right by the bathroom. You headed over and plopped down on the stool. There were three empty at the end, so you took the one in the middle, which had the best view of the stage from back here.

While waiting for the bartender to come back down this side, you took the chance to look  at the people around you. A couple familiar faces.. small town you know? And some new ones. New gems too. You can see Mr. Fryman sitting at a table with Kofi and Nanefua, and they look like they’re playing poker. You try not to snicker since Kofi looks absolutely blasted, and Mr. Fryman is cursing up a storm because Nanefua is clearly winning. You see her wink at Mr. Fryman. You suspect a rigged game.

Your phone chimes a couple times. You pull it out of your bag, and check to see who’s bothering you. Ah. The group chat.

    Alex: ughhh you guys my gmas killing me

    Alex: no seriously mexico fucking blows rn 

    Alex: i cant step outside without feeling like my balls are melting off my body

    Alex: and my brother won’t stop listening to the book of mormon soundtrack

    Alex: im going insane

Your friends are so melodramatic. You type out a couple of replies.

    Y/N: You should be used to mexican summers by now, you go every year.

    Y/N: And for the record, your brother is valid. Book of Mormon slaps.

    Alex: what the fuck youre supposed to be on my side u ass

    Alex: i thought our special thing was wicked. OUR SPECIAL THING, Y/N

    Y/N: I’m allowed to like multiple things. Including musicals. 

    Alex: never. fuck you. also what are you even doing rn come play minecraft with me

    Y/N: Yeah as much as I’d like to, I can’t.

“Y/N! So you finally came to see what this place is all about! What can I get ya?” you hear a familiar voice ask. Turning around to face the voice, you see Bismuth wearing her usual overalls and a rather nice looking bow tie. 

“Hey Bis, how’s it going? I like what you’ve done with the place. It’s nice. And uh, I’ll just take a hard cider for now.” You smile at her and set your phone down for a minute.

“Thank you! After we finished Little Homeworld, I had to find something else to focus on in my down time.” She explains while grabbing your drink from the fridge under her side of the bar, and opens it. “So tell me,” She sits the drink in front of you and leans on the counter. “What brings you out here today?”

You take a rather long sip from your drink before meeting the large gems eyes. On the stage, a tall, beardy man replaces the woman that just finished her piece. He immediately starts this jaunty, irish tune. He’s singing loudly, and it’s not bad. A couple of people are clapping to the tune.

“I just really needed to get out.” You replied, taking another sip from your drink. “I was kinda hoping I’d meet someone new, maybe get another friend to hang out with, since my friends wanted to ditch me this summer.” As you’re saying this, more people join the clapping. It’s getting a bit rowdy. “Or maybe at least get drunk enough to forget how lonely I feel.” You add, shrugging. 

“Well, I can supply the drinks, and at least a bit of company.” Bismuth winks, and turns to the patron 6 seats up waving her over. 

You check your phone again, and there’s more from Alex. AND Harper? She must still have phone service wherever she’s at.     Alex: what are u fuckin doin that so important that u cant play minecraft with ur best friend

    Harper: yeah, Y/N. the heck. Also alex, get lost, she’s MY best friend bitch

    Alex: u had ur chances but u left us so we’re a duo now. u can go

    Harper: excuse me!? I WILL end you.

    Y/N: Oh my god, chill. I’m just out right now, so I can’t okay? 

    Y/N: And nice of you to join us, Harper.

    Harper: fuck you I miss you okay. And I miss constant wifi :(

    Alex: OUT!? What do you mean OUT. its night. u play games with ME during this time

    Alex: for real what the fuck are you doing

    Harper: yeah, you don’t go out without us. Wtf are you doing?

    Y/N: I’m at a bar!!     Alex: WHAT

    Alex: dont tell me its the one place that just opened

    Alex: Y/N do NOT betray me you TOLD ME you were gonna go with me!!

    Y/N: I was. But I was also bored and you’re both gone, soooo. 

    Alex: wow

    Alex: i cant believe youve done this to me

    Harper: hmmm. ;)

    Harper: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ;)

    Y/N: What.

    Harper: you tryin to find girls again? 

    Harper: like that one time you went to empire city just to peruse the mall?

    Alex: LMAOOOOO

    Y/N: No.

    Alex: LMAOOOO Y/N GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND A GF LOLL

    Y/N: I’m not trying to find a girlfriend you fucks. Christ.

    Y/N: Also Alex, you’re one to talk. You can’t KEEP a girlfriend.

    Alex: ur just mad i have a passionate and intimate relationship w/ my hand

    Y/N: And it will probably stay that way. 

    Y/N: Besides, so far, no one cute here. So it’s a bust.

    Harper: a bust. Lmfao u just outed yourself :)

    Y/N: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

You put your phone down before seeing whatever Alex attempts to reply back with. It sounds like the current boisterous song is coming to a close, and really, most of the people here are clapping along with this guy. It’s fun. And despite the playful ribbing from your shit-talking friends, you’re starting to have a nice time. You finish your drink, and nod over to Bismuth who catches your eye and nods back. You look over onto the stage, the man having cleared the piano, and see Lapis wiping down the piano and seat. Guess he spilled his drink while playing. Lapis, unlike Bismuth, actually dressed up a bit for the job. Her hair was pulled in a cute, small bun, and she was wearing what looks like a tailored tux with no jacket. The vest fit her quite well. She seemed.. happy. Good for her.

No one had taken up the stage again yet, but the place was still lively with chatter. You see someone out of the corner of your eye move towards the stage, but Bismuth comes over again so you tear your gaze away. 

“Another cider? Or do you want something else this time, Y/N? She asks, cleaning a glass with a rag, and moves on to the next one. 

“Ehh, yeah, give me another cider.” You say as you pull out your phone again. Bismuth sets down the drink in front of you.

    Harper: what a goddamn disaster. she got that from me i think

    Alex: no, youre both disasters separately

    Y/N: Fuck you guys. Give me a break.

You hear the piano start to play again, and someone pulling the mic forward. You look up to see pink hair.. And someone kind of familiar. She’s wearing black slacks, a white collared shirt, and suspenders. The shirt is partially open, and you see part of a pink gem showing through on her chest. It looks like she’s got mascara running down her face. 

And then.. she starts to sing. 

It’s lovely. It’s slow and a bit sad, but she seems to be enjoying herself. She’s definitely done this before. Quite a few of the people around quiet down some, so you can hear her pretty clearly. You drink some, and text your friends.

    Y/N: Guys, I lied. There’s a cute gem here who can sing.

    Alex: holy fuk

    Alex: what

    Y/N: She looks kind of familiar though? I can’t quite place it though.

    Harper: dude theres like near 100 gems now in little homeworld lol

    Harper: you’ve probs seen most in passing? :P

    Alex: are you serious Y/N? cant flirt with human women so u turn to aliens? lmfao

    Y/N: Ohhhhh my god. Die.

The gem on stage sings the chorus with gusto - man she’s really getting into this. You’re kind of taken a bit with her performance. It just pulls you. But also.. She really seems familiar now and it’s bothering you.

    Y/N: No I’m serious she seems really familiar and not in that In Passing kind of way.

    Harper: what does she look like?

    Alex: yeah a description would be nice 

    Harper: TAKE A PIC

    Alex: holy shit YES 

    Y/N: I can’t take a pic. She’s too far away, it’ll be blurry.

    Alex: literally just zoom in lord almighty

    Y/N: Okay. Hold on a sec.

You turn on your camera app, and face the stage. Looks like the gem is actually finishing up her song. Perfect, you’ll snap a pic once she stands up. She finishes, and most of the people are clapping for her. You zoom in, and it’s grainy, but decent enough to make out most of her. You snap the pic.

The flash was on.

A couple people turn to look at you, and you try turning away quickly, horrified, and see the gem looking in your direction before walking off into the crowd of people. You cannot imagine a worse scenario. 

    Y/N: FUCK FUCCCCKKKKKK.

    Y/N: (image sent)

    Y/N: I GOT YOUR FUCKING PIC BUT THE FLASH IS ON.

    Y/N: I’M PRETTY SURE SHE SAW THAT IT WAS ME THAT TOOK THE PIC.

With shaking hands, you take another sip of your drink and wait for a reply. Why is life like this.

    Harper: uh.

    Harper: ummm.

    Alex: wait

    Alex: one fucking second

    Y/N: WHY ARE NONE OF YOU CARING ABOUT MY PLIGHT. 

    Y/N: I’M TRYING NOT TO COMBUST ON THE SPOT HERE.

    Alex: shut up for one second

    Alex: harper isnt that

    Harper: uhh. yeah i think so.

    Y/N: WHAT!? WHO IS IT. WHY DOES THAT MATTER AT THIS POINT.

    Alex: lmao i cant believe i have to tell u this

    Alex: bitch do u remember that shit that happened last summer

    Alex: where half the town almost died from that gem shit

    Alex: that’s her     Alex: that’s the bitch who almost killed like, the entire planet

    Harper: you know that night your dad almost died??

As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now. 

[missnctyukhei]

Never have I ever

pairing: mark lee x reader

genre/warnings: smut, angst

word count: 2.1k

a/n: English is not my native language and I first dare to write in English. So please forgive me any mistakes, I know my grammar is not perfect. I still hope that the story is readable. I thought to write several parts. but let's see ...

„Ok it’s late. I should go to bed. We see us on Monday!“ 

You and Mark were the last people sitting at the table.

You've been working with the team and Mark on a new project for weeks. The work was now completed and to celebrate the day, the manager invited the whole team for dinner. After the breakup with Lucas, this was the first night you could laugh again. How much you have missed being able to think freely, without getting a stab in the heart every time.

„Should we go home too?”, ask Mark and looked up to you with his puppy eyes. You knew that he didn’t want to go home yet. The mood was good, the alcohol level high and it was still too early to end the evening.

„You can come to me! I'm sure that I have something to drink at home.” You didn’t want to end this evening so abruptly. It was the first night you felt good and not thinking about Lucas all the time. Mark didn’t think long and agreed. He was not ready to go home, back to the dorm, where he had to share a room.

„Ok, then let’s go!” With a big grin you reach for your bag and you both make your way to the next taxi.

Your apartment was small but cozy. It consisted mainly of one room and this was equipped with a kitchen and a large bed. Most of the time you spent anyway at work. From the fridge, you get two bottles of soju and you both go to the bed. It was the only seat that offered in your apartment.

“Let's play a game!" You suggested. You were afraid that this situation could have been unpleasant. You have never been alone with Mark. It has always been a team or Lucas around you two. But you always liked Mark, he was funny and a good friend.

“I would like to play Never have I ever. I have never played this before.” He confessed and clasped his bottle with both hands. It did not surprise you, because SM had a strict regulation and Mark was in it for most of his puberty.

"Ok, should I start?" You asked him and he nodded silently.

"Well, I start with a simple question. Never have I ever used Tinder.” Neither you nor Mark took a sip. However, Mark seemed quite surprised.

“Really? I thought you were using Tinder.” You've thought about it a couple of times and installed the app, but somehow you never managed to sign up.

"Well, when I came to Korea, I soon got to know Lucas - after we break up … I mean …. it's too early..." Your voice became fragile at the end of the sentence. You didn’t want to talk anymore. It was just quiet between you two. Mark saw that the thought of Lucas hurt you.

"Do you miss him sometimes?" He asked in a soft voice. It hurt him to see you like this. You always had a lot of fun together and he was always happy when Lucas take you with him.

"Today was the first day I didn’t think of him every second," your voice was so silent that it was barely audible. But Mark understood every single word. Your sight were lowered and there he was again, the pain in your heart. You had successfully drowned him with alcohol all day. And now it felt like everything was coming up at once. The whole barrage of pain and emotions gathered in your throat that made you sick. You tried to swallow everything, but it hurt incredibly.

“Y/N, I just want you to know that I didn’t like Lucas behavior, I think he made a big mistake. He is stupid to hurt someone like you.” He meant it well and his words meant a lot to you, but you didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore.

"Let's keep playing. It's your turn!" It was a good distraction, as Mark already considered his next question.

“Never have I ever lied to my parents.” “Oh come on…this question is lame. You should ask something, which may be unpleasant to someone.” It was his first game, but you didn’t want it to get boring. Mark nodded and started thinking again. After a few seconds he remembered a question.

“Never have I ever had sex in the same room where someone else was sleeping.” You briefly watch Mark, who did not raise his bottle. After a short deep breath, you take a sip.

“Lucas and Kun shared a room. If we had always waited until we were alone in the dorm, we would never have sex.” You had to grin as you thought of the times you sneaked into the apartment to at least see Lucas for a few hours. It was the good times when you cuddled up to him under the covers and just wanted to feel his skin on yours.

"I bet Kun was not always sleeping." Mark said with a laugh. You put your palms on your forehead and scream with a laugh: "Ahhh I don’t want to think about it."

“Ok, my turn again. Never have I ever sex on an airplane.” You both looked at each other but nobody took a sip. You had to admit that the question was not good. Mark was still quite young and probably not quite so experienced.

Mark was back on the turn. “Never have I ever done it with someone more than twice my age.” Mark did not move, but you knew you had to drink again.

“I experimented a bit” You said and took a sip of your soju. Your bottle was already half empty and Mark still had no sip.

“Let's come up with something good. I would like to drink again.” Mark laughed, pointing to his bottle.

“Hmmm….okay…let me think. Never have I ever received a road head.” To be honest, you were too drunk to ask more creative questions. For the last rounds, you had to drink so much that you had to lure Mark with simple questions. It was time he had to catch up to get to the same level.

After asking the question, you look at him, but he didn’t move. He didn’t touch any of his fingers, he did not even pay attention to the bottle. It had become so quiet suddenly that it made you a little uncomfortable.

“Really? You got never ever a head?” When you said these words, you were not sure if you just did make the situation even more uncomfortable. He blushed but didn’t say anything. The situation was clearly awkward and you didn’t know what to do next. It would have made the most sense, just pretend that nothing had happened. But the alcohol in your blood does not let you make logical conclusions.

“Wow…Sorry…I mean…A guy in your position…I mean, I thought you were the type for the girl to do everything…”

“It's not that I'm inexperienced. I just have a lot to do. Dance training, singing lessons, performances, there is not much time for girls.” You knew he wanted to minimize his inexperience because he was embarrassed. But you knew also under what kind of pressure the idols are. After all, you've been working at SM for two years, and you've been dating Lucas for almost a year. You know exactly how everything works. The private life is given little space to the idols, and they usually use this free time to spend it with their family.

“Should I do it?”, you ask in a soft voice and look at him with big eyes.

“What?” Mark started to laugh nervously. He didn’t know if the idea was good or bad. On the one hand Lucas was his friend and he would betray him. But then he was also interested. He always found you beautiful, kept wondering always how you would look naked, but when Lucas expressed interest in you, his desire had been eliminated.

Slowly, you lean forward closer to Mark. You place your palms between his legs. Your lips were nearing his ear. Mark got goose bumps all over his body. “I can give you your first head and believe me, you will never forget it.”

Mark had to swallow and he already feel his middle was getting harder. You pushed him soft into the sheets. You slowly pull up his shirt and planted a few kisses down his torso. Mark moaned and his hips twisting slightly. You placed you hand against his length, still in his sweatpants. He moaned again und you press a wet kiss under his belly button. You pushed slowly his sweatpants and boxers down. You’re eyes widened slightly at how hard he was already. Slowly you became impatient too.

You gently lick his tip. It was slightly salty but not unpleasant. You licked across his head and then back from the root to his tip. Your motion was smooth and his hips pushed with no control. Your tongue circulate a little bit on his tip, which was still salty.

“Y/N” He moaned.

“Put it…. Put it in your mouth…Please…” He was desperate. Never ever gave someone so much attention to his best part. You had to grin, you liked how desperate he begged for your mouth. But you didn’t want to keep him waiting too long and so you opened wide and sucked him slowly inside. Your head go up and down and his skin moved with your movements. He put his hands on his hipbones. But his fingers kept cramping in his palm. He just dont not know where to place it.

You let him pop out of your mouth and licked his vein that ran on the underside of his cock. Then you took him back inside and listened to the whimpers he made. He was cursing, but you didn’t understand everything exactly. Anyway, you were to focused to attempt his cursing. It drives Mark crazy seeing you take his cook into your mouth. Your lips stretching around him as you take him deeper and deeper. Then you took your free hand to press it on his lower stomach, while the other massage his now strained balls. 

Mark bite his under lip and threw his head back. He enjoyed every single touch and so he thrust upward.  You know exactly that he was almost over the edge. His breath was deep and his hip twitched with every touch.

All your energy was focused on his cock now. You taking him as far as you could.

“Y/N…I’m close” You knew that exactly and you gave him a sultry look while your mouth was still around his cook.

He let out a cry before he squeezed his eyes. His seed coating your tongue. But before you swallow it, you stick out your tongue again and show him his load. You swallowed his release, before you lay beside him.

“Wow…I mean…You were…” Mark didn’t find his words.

"I told you that you will not forget it." You grin widely and were a little proud of yourself. It pushed your self-esteem to get such a confirmation.

“Can you do me a favor?” Asked Mark and turned to your side. His cock was now covert again with his sweatpants. You looked up at him in surprise, but you secretly already knew what he would ask you.

“Lucas does not need to know that, right?" Mark looked at you with his big puppy eyes. He was worried, after all, he had to work with Lucas and they were friends.

"He will not hear it from me," you said with a tortured smile. Anyway, the conversations with Lucas were limited to the bare minimum.

“Thank you! Not only that you will not say anything. But just what you did, just now…"He smiled and looked deep into your eyes. There was real gratitude in him and it pleased you that you could at least make one person happy.

[alittleranting]

Yoonseok (Sope) Fanfic

So yeah hey see who had this on her laptop for almost a month and forgot to post it... So here you go, boo. @mysticalkpopper

You hear the rain pouring outside. Great.. really great, it's raining... What am I gonna do now? You'd planned to meet with your best friend Namjoon to have a BBQ. His little brother Jungkook and his best friend Taehyung also wanted to join you. But the guys were whining about the rain and cancelled it. Now you're just sitting in your living room, starring out of the window and whining yourself.. You let out a deep sigh and fall onto your sofa. You closed your eyes and think about that party you read about on a flyer. Initially you didn't wanted to go but it's your best option at this point. At least something you could look forward to. You decided to call your sister, maybe she has some time to come over. You dial her number: "Dawon?"

"Hey Hoseok, what's up?" "The guys cancelled and now I'm bored... Wanna come over?" "Sorry, but no I have to work the late shift today.. " "How come? You never have the late shift, unless..." "Bingo. My coworker bailed out because he wanted to go to a stupid party." "I actually thought of going to on myself..." "Mh ok, have fun then. Listen I have to go back to work but tomorrow I'll come over ok?" "Sure, see ya." "Bye." Dawon ended the call and you put your phone back on the coffee table. Another deep sigh leaves your mouth. You get up and drag yourself into the bathroom. A hot shower is probably the right thing with that unpleasant weather. After you finished you waddle to your bedroom. Still naked you stay in front of your closet. The hell should I wear? I have just too many clothes.. Yikes. Ripped jeans, a green button shirt and your new Balenciaga shoes probably will do it. It was still pretty early so you just put on your clothes and sat back down on your sofa. You scrolled through social media when you get a text from Namjoon.

"Hey Hobi what are you doing?" "Nothing really. I dressed up and think of going to that big party later. U?" "I went to a friend because he wanted my advice on his clothes. Guess he wants to go to the same party. But his type of clothes really aren't my style so I cant really say anything...." "Haha need my help?" "Technically yes but I can't just take pictures of him and send them to you.." "I mean TECHNICALLY you could." "Hobi you know I don't do stuff like that!" "Yeah yeah I get it. Then have fun playing dress up." "Thanks...."

Pfft.. Joon can play dress up with someone but won't grill a fucking steak with me. Guess I have to life with a fake ass bitch as my best friend. AND then he doesn't even send me pictures of that boy. Like come on maybe he has a cute ass.. I WANNA SEE!!!! Damn lucky noone can read your mind.. Your dramatic ass would be so embarrassed.

You take a look on your watch. In a while you could start walking to the location. You would still be one of the first there but then you can get a seat at the bar. You went into the bathroom to put on light make up and check yourself out for the last time. Grabbing your wallet, phone and keys you leave your apartment. You let google maps guide you too your destination and to your suprise there already is a queue. Nontheless you didn't have to wait long. You show your ID to the bouncer and get to enter the club. The room is huge and just a few people stand there in groups and are talking. The music isn't really loud yet so the atmosphere is rather relaxed. Just as planned you got a seat at the bar. You settled in and ordered a beer. After your third beer the club was pretty full, all those people were enjoying themselfs but you sat there alone. You started regretting coming on your own but after today you didn't wanted to mope anymore. Hesitantly you scoot down from the bar stool and make your way to the dance floor. As you start moving with the rhythm you feel you're in your element and lose yourself in the music. You don't even know for how long you danced when your bladder practicly screams at you. You drank six beer by now and your tolernace isn't high at all so you're pretty dizzy and waver to the restroom. Once you're there you look in the mirror. "Wow I look tousled." "Nah, you look pretty cute." A guy you didn't know showed up behind you and playfully slapped your ass while winking at you. He scared the shit out of you and you almost wet yourself. At the pissoir you bump into the guy next to you and murmer a 'Sorry' to him while making eye contact but your eyes didn't stay up there. They wander down to his dick. Mh not bad. Maybe a little small but definitly average.. I could make that work! The dude next to you eyes you. He's clearly uncomfortable with you checking him out BUT you couldn't care less right now. Finally relieved you go and wash your hand. You leave the restroom but not without checking yourself out a last time and fixing your hair. You decide it's better to take it slow so you return to the bar, take a seat again and order a glass of water to clear your mind. Moments later the barkeeper gives you your water and presents you 2 shots along side. "I DIDN'T ORDER SHOTS!" The bartender points to the other side of the bar. You follow his direction and see a young woman. Your eyes meet and she smiles gently at you. Not knowing what you should do you nod to her in appreciation and take a sip of your water. You listen to the music for a while but nothing they're playing at the moment sounds familiar to you. Suddenly you feel a hand on your shoulder, as you turn around it's the pretty girl. "Don't you like liquor?" "WHAT?" "DON'T YOU LIKE LIQUOR?" She pointed to the shots that still set next to your glass. "I DO BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET SUPER DRUNK." "YOU DON'T SEEM REALLY SOBER TO ME." She laughed and took both shots in her hand, handing you one. She clinks the glasses and downs her shot. You follow her. "I'M HOSEOK." "NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M YEEUN." She held out her hand and you shook it. "THANKS FOR THE DRINK. Do you wANNA DANCE?" "DANCE?" "YEAH. YOU WANNA?" You got up and looked at her curious. She shrugged her shoulders and followed you into the dancing crowd. You two had some fun dancing together but at some point she started grinding against you. You try backing up a bit but get shoved into her by the jumping people around you. Yeeun gets really touchy and you feel uneasy. "LISTEN YOU'RE CUTE BUT YOU'RE NOT QUITE... MY TYPE." "I'M CUTE?" Her eyes shimmer and it seems like she wanted to kiss you but you step back and push her gently aside. You rush away from the crowd into the restroom and lock yourself into a cabine. Damn that was weid.I never really attract women so how the hell did that happen!? You take a deep breath and left the room just to see Yeeun waiting in the doorframe for you. "Why you ran away? Wanted to lure me into the restroom? Naughty." "Listen! I don't like girls ok?" "Wait what?" "I'm gay!" "Eum..." Her face turned really red and she left without saying anything else. Puh.. that was awkward... Am I always that weird with people? No, that's not possible, right? I can't recall ever having such a problem with a guy. As you were cought up in your thoughts something else came to your mind. Yeeun spreed the idea in you to also look for someone. You already saw some cute boys and if it wasn't for your bladder you could have been the pray of the guy in the restroom, maybe you can find him again. Walking through the mass you scan the people for someone who seems like a nice match for tonight. After a while you felt like sobering up so you thought getting back to the bar was the best shot for now. You felt like wasting your time, sure you had had some fun but suddenly lying in bed and watching an episode of Adventure Time sounds very temping. You emtied your forth glass and decide that it's time for you to go home. Once again you move through the people heading for the door but before you could reach it a guy walks in. He's wearing  tight leather pants and a cute crop top revealing a belly button piercing which matches his earings. He's really cute and the first thing that comes to your mind is: "DIBS!" The guy you were reffering to looks at you with a mixture of suprise and pride. Just then you realized that you didn't thought but spoke it out loud. Your cheeks got flashing red. You wanted to leave the scenery so badly but the guy you dibsed still stood there blockig your way. You ran as fast as possible into the crowed aiming for the restroom to lock you up. You were panicking and the first person you thought of was Namjoon, you needed his help. You figet with your phone needing quite some time to unlock it and finding Namjoons chat. Guess I wasn't sobering up, just thirsty for more liquor. I'm drunk as hell. "Namjoon!!!!!!!!" "I fked up!1!!!!" "Im rlly druk n I yelled dibs at that hot guy that entrt the club.........." "Help!!!!!!!!!!!!" Namjoon didn't take long to reply. After seeing a dozend of cry-laughing smileys he actually send a text message. "Calm down, everything's alright. Yoongi just texted me literally the same, bragging about the fact that his outfit was hot and that some random dude yelled dibs at him." "YOU KNOW HIM!?!????!" "Yes I know him. I told you I helped a friend with his outfit for a night out. That was him. Just talk to him. You can even say that you know me or do you want me to text him for you?" "NO!! Pls dont! Ill tak to him." "OK, have fun, Hobi. And just so you know it: He's gay and on the hunt. ;D" You put your phone away and lean against the closed door. You close your eyes and try to foces. What should I say? How can.. Your thoughts got disturbed by a knocking on the door. "You in there?" "Wh-who's there?" "The guy you just dibsed. Wanna collect your price?" Not thinking twice you rip open the door and just look at the guy who's named Yoongi. "What?" "I mean you called dibs, you look good, so here I am." You still don't move and just look at him with wide eyes. Yoongi sighs and grabs your hand, you don't resist and move along with him to the bar. You refuse to drink more liquor but Yoongi downs 3 shots. "By the way I'm Yoongi." "I know, Namjoon told me about you." "Huh? You know him?" "He's my best friend." "Ahhh you're Hoseok." "He told you about me?" "Of course.  Although I'm hurt he never introduced us." "Mh maybe he had his resons. Do you dance?" "No." "But-" "I said no." "Why so stern?" "I- I can't dance." "Have you seen all those people? You really call that dancing? That's just body wiggling." You show him your bright, heart shaped smile and laugh about your own words. Yoongi just smiles at you with gentle eyes. "You know, you seem like a fun guy. Maybe it would be ok to try dancing with you." This time you're the one grabing Yoongi's hand and nevigate him to the dance floor. You start moving your body once again to the rhythm not taking your eyes of Yoongi who just stands there awkwardly. You grab his hand and spin him around until he's laughing. He sounds cute. You put your hands on Yoongis waist because he was dizzy and stumbling all over the place. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" "YES. Yes." He seemed to relax beause he started dancing again on his own and you joined him. After a while you grew confident and searched for more body contact. You scoot closer to him and lay your arms around him grinding against his ass. Suddenly you stopped your movement having a deja vu. Just as you wanted to make some space between you two you realize that he leaned into your embrace and moves along side with you. Probably wondering why you stopped moving Yoongi turned around and looked at you with a puzzled expression. You scan his facial features, the soft lips that form a pout, his dark eyes that search for an answer regarding your behavior, the cute nose, his heavy but decent looking make up. You didn't know what came over you but you cupped his face and pressed your lips against his. Yoongi widened his eyes but he didn't pull away. He slung his arms around your neck and traces his tounge over your lips searching for access. You part your lips and let your tounge play with his, due to the alcohol he tastes sweet and bitter at the same time. Lost in each other you just stand there kissing each other. Your hands wander down and grab his ass which feels squishy although he's wearing those tight pants. Yoongi suddenly breaks the kiss. "LET'S GO." With that he starts walking towards the exit and you trail behind him. Once you two are outside Yoongi reconnect your lips. In a short break he whispers into your ear: "Your place or mine?" "Ehm..." Fuck... fuck fuck FUCK. Should I go home with him? Or take him with me? Should I even at all!? I know I wanted to 'hunt' but know that it's at that point I'm not sure. Should I? Your head was spinning. All those thoughts rush through your head and the fresh air just makes everything spin even more. "Hey, are you alright?" "No, I don't feel so good." "Damn should I call you a cab?" "No no it's fine, I'll walk home." "Are you sure?" "Ye-" You couldn't finish your sentence because you vomited. "Sorry.. I can't take alcohol well." "I see..." Yoongi moved away some steps and pulled out his phone. "Hey Joon it's me. You think you could pick up Hobi? He's pretty drunk and I don't want to put him into a cab. - Yes? - OK. - Alright, I'll wait. - Yes, see ya." "OK, Namjoonie is gonna pick you up." "As I heared... Thank you." "No problem." Yoongi trudges around in a circle, repeatedly blowing air in and out of his right cheek. After what felt like eternity Namjoon arrived and put you into the car. "Thanks for looking after him, Yoongs. Should I take you home?" "Nah, I'm fine. I guess I just go back into the club." "OK, see ya." "Bye."

You see Yoongi vanish into the building while you try to smile at Namjoon but it came of more as a sad grin. Namjoon took a deep breath and shook his head. "What were you thinking Hobi? You know you don't take alcohol well.." "I know..." "You're lucky Yoongi knows me, who knows what could have happend." "I know..." He sighs and manoveurs you onto the backseat. You plomp down and curl into a ball. Namjoon gets into the drivers seat and brings you home. Once at your doorstep he pulls your keys out of your backpocket and even brings you to your bedroom. "Can I leave you alone or should I stay with you?" "No it's fine. I'll just lay down and sleep." You let yourself fall face forward into the mattress. You feel how Namjoon takes off your shoes and throws a blanket over you. "I wait until you fall asleep." "Thanks Joonie." "Of course." The bed bunks down beside you and you feel his hand caressing your back and ruffling your hair. Immediately you drift into a deep slumber. When you wake up the next day you take a look at the clock. It's the middle of the day and you kind of want to turn around and sleep some more but you're grossed out by your own smell. Alcohol, sweat and smoke - the holy trinity of a clubs smell. You rise your heavy feeling body from the bed and undress, on your way to the bathroom you grab a fresh pair of boxers and a cozy sweater. Finally under the shower you start to relax. The warm water pouring over your body seems to wash away your sever headache. At least a little bit of it. Now that your head is somewhat clearer you start to think of the previous night. You face palm yourself and lean against the cool tiles behind you. Oh god what the fuck did I do last night... I have to ask Namjoon for Yoongis number so I can apologize or maybe I just should make sure to never see him again so I can't embarrass myself even more.. You finish your shower, quickly dress up and your first instict is to call your sister. "Dawon, where are you?" "I'm on my way to you. Why, do you need anything?" "No. I'm just... stressed." "Tell me, I can hear it in your voice. But I have to rumble some myself so prepare some tea, it's gonna be a long ted talk!" "Oh- ok." Before you knew it she already hung up. You made the tea and didn't have to wait any longer for her to knock. You ripped open the door and fall into her arms, hugging her tight. "Dawooooon... I messed up big times... It's so embarrassing." "Stop whining. When you're like this I almost forget I'm younger then you." "But -" "No but. Just sit on yours and drink your tea. I give you some time to calm down. In the meanwhile just listen to me because otherwise I'm going crazy because of my coworker! I mean yeah he's pretty funny when you know him and he sometimes is a real weirdo but boy.. oh boy you have no fucking clue how annoying he can be. If something happened to him he's going to talk about it FOREVER. If it was something bad he pouts all day and whines about it and if it was something positive he's going to brag about it. But the worst is if both happend. Like something good tuning bad. For example today he was just sitting in the corner not really working saying he was "too upset" because this really cute guy from yesterday messed up or some shit. I didn't even listen. If Yoongi continues like this I'm seriously going to kill him." "Yoongi!?" "Yeah Yoongi, my coworker. Do you know him?" "No. Nononono. NO! Just no." "Hobi what the hell is your problem?" "That's the guy from yesterday.." "What do you mean?" "I'm the one who messed up. I'm the dude he's talking about!" "Wait WHAT?" "I told you I wanted to go to that party and he -Damn it makes sense you even told me your coworker wanted to go to that party..." "Oh god what happened?" "I kinda made out with him, wanted to take him home and vomited in front of him..." "No you didn't." "Yes I did." "Oh my fucking god." "Yup.." "But look at the bright side. You at least made enough of an impression to him so he whines about it to me." "I really don't see anything positive about that." "Didn't you listen to me earlier? He called you cute and was sad that that happened because he really wanted to go home with you." "You think so?" "Yes. Because, like I said, he wouldn't shut up about it." "And now?" "What do you mean 'and now'? You'll fucking talk to him and grab that ass." "Dawon! What the fuck?" "What? I'm maybe younger then you but I'm not an innocent child. Shocking news: I already had sex." "Dawoooon... I know that but I honestly don't wanna think about it." "God, I'll give you his number and you text him." "I don't want to." "Why? You just wanna handle it as a failed flirt? You know the chances of meeting him again aren't that small." "OK... Give me his number. I'll think about it." "Good." Dawon gave you Yoongis number, you drank your now cold tea and talked a little more. The day went by fast and it was already evening again. You texted Namjoon also asking him for advice how to handle the situation but he also just suggested you to talk it out or actually ignore it and hope to never meet him again. You spend the night thinking a lot before you go to sleep.

Almost a whole week past since the night you were out and you still hadn't texted Yoongi. Dawon as well as everyone else around you who by now knew about it teased you. You were almost sure at this point even Yoongi had heared about your stupid behavior. You just came home from work and sat infront of your food. You took your phone out, opened the still empty chat with Yoongi and started typing. "Hi here is Hoseok, the guy from the party last week." You paused and read the sentence again and again, the deleted it. No that sounds stupid... You start typing again. "Hello, I don't know if you remember me but I'm the dude who wanted to fuck you and RUINED IT BECAUSE I FUCKING VOMITED!!!!!!!!!" Yeah really subtile.. definitly perfect.. Damn what should I say.. You deleted it again and took a deep breath. "Hi here is Hoseok. I got your number from my sister, Dawon. Seems like you guys are working together. I wanted to apologize for fucking up. I really can't handle alcohol well. Would be awsome if we could meet up again. Sober this time." You hit send so you wouldn't overthink everything again although you regreted it instantly. OK, now we have to wait and hope for the best. Almost immeditaly your phone was vibrating. "Took you long enough to text me. If you want we can meet up. Mh Dawon.. now that I think about t you two do look very similar. Where do you wanna meet?" OK his text was kinda rude and all over the place but sure... I don't know where.. how about the when? "Yeah I guess we do. I don't have a special place in mind but let's start with the fact when we could meet up." "How about right now?" "OK?" "Good. Meet me in 2 hours at the new mall in the city center." OK.. ok.. okokok don't panic you can do that! Yes you can. I just need to change my clothes. You ran into your bedroom, throughing your working clothes into a corner and standing there once again with a puzzled look, not knowing what to wear. You look for almost 30 minutes before you go with shorts and an oversized white shirt that you tuck in in the front. Before you rush out you put tennis socks, a cap and some random shoes on and grab your essentials. oyu arrive just in time and see Yoongi already standing there at the front door. He seems even smaller then the last time because he's wearing a wide hoodie and skinny, ripped jeans. If he wouldn't have looked into your direction you almost wouldn't have recognized him because the bucket hat he's wearing covers almost his entire face. You approach him with a big smile but he doesn't react. he just sips from the coffee he's holding. "Hi?" "Hey." "I just wanted to say sorry again. I was gross." "It's fine. Shit happens." Yoongi waves his hand, symbolizing you should follow him, what you do. You goes inside the huge building. "My coffee is almost empty. Do you mind if we go grab a new one?" "No sure." You weren't familiar with the building therefore you just trailed behind Yoongi. Both of you didn't say anything. You got nervouse because you asked for this meet up but now it's just kinda awkward. Lost in your thoughts you bump into Yoongi who came to an holt. "Watch your step." "Oh yeah sorry." You look into his face and you think you see him smile a little while he shakes his head in disbeliefe. He orders an Iced Americano while you just grab a bottle of Sprite from the little fridge. Yoongie pays for both your drinks and trails off again. You murmer a thank you and follow him silently. Yoongi walked to a little bench and set down. You two just set there sipping from your beverage. Almost 20 minutes pass when you finally say something. "Soo... Why did you want to meet here if we're just sitting around? Wouldn't a café been more effective?" "Mh. I like the coffee here. I don't visit places I'm not familiar with." "But at some point this place also was unknown to you, wasn't it?" "Mh yeah." "See so you do had to try it first. Wanna be crazy and actually go around the mall?" "You mean strolling around and buying useless stuff? No thanks." "Oh come on." You stood up and held your hand out. When Yoongi wouldn't take it you took his hand yourself and interwind your fingers. "Come on grandpa. Let's have some fun." Yoongi didn't answer but he didn't seem to complain either. When you looked at him to find out what his mood was you saw him starring at the floor. He was trying to shield his face with his hat to hide the fact he was smiling. You thought it was so adorable that he's that shy. After searching for a while you found a little store that had decor and accessoires. You dragged Yoongi inside and let go of his hand to rummage through the shelves. On a little stand in one corner there was a little pink plastice crown, you grabed it and got back to Yoongi. You snatched his hat away and replaced it with the crown. He glared at you and made his infamous pout that Dawon told you about. You couldn't help it but melt. You cup his face and coe at him. "Oh my life you're sooo cute." At a loss of words Yoongi got all shy and blushed like furious. Not thinking about it you kissed him straight away. He melted into your embrance and slung his arms around you. You two got down from cloud 9 when you heared someone behind you. "Ew damn faggots, kissing where everyone can see it. Disgusting." Yoongi looked shocked and didn't seem to dare saying something. You on the other side grew brave when you're angry. "Your face is also disgusting and nontheless do you walk around in public were everyone can see you. So as long as you don't walk around with a paperbag on your head, I'm gonna kiss whoever wherever I want." Grabing Yoongis hand again you turn around and stumb away. You aimed for the exit when Yoongi suddenly stopped you. As you turnt around you  saw him pointing to the top of his head. Just then you realized he was still wearing the crown and neither of you payed for it. Luckily there seemed no price tag to be on it or something that could have activated the alarm of the store. You just stood there not knowing what to do when Yoongi started laughing. You hadn't heared him laugh so far and it was contagious. "Damn ok, I give up. You're right I should try new stuff more often. That was fun. I mean did you see the face of that dude? He didn't expect that comeback tho. Damn Hoseok you're cool." Now you're the blushing one and you just smile at him. Yoongi stepped unexpectedly close to you and almsot whispered to you. "Say, do you want to continue were we left off?" "Are you seriously asking that? Of course!" "Then let me ask again: Your place or mine?" "I live almost an hour away from here so probably your place." "I actually also live quite far away.." "Mh.. up to some more new things?" "What do you mean?" You looked around for your destination and quickly found it. "Just follow me." You didn't expect it but Yoongi willingly took your hand in his and interwind your fingers again. He was blushing a little bit and you wanted to kiss him so badly that you hurry to get to the area where the toilets are. You go in the one for disabled people because it's a single stall and further away from the main area then the normal ones. Once both of you were inside and the door was lockes you pin Yoongi against the wall and kis him passionatly. His lips are increadible soft and his body pressed against yours feels just too good. You put one of your legs between his to fixate him in that position but Yoongi uses the opportunity to grind himself on your leg. While your lips were still connected soft moans slip past his mouth. As he was stimulating hisself you feel your own lenght hardening. Seeing Yoongi enjoying himself turns you on. You let one hand wander down to cup his ass while you slide the other on up his hoodie andplay with his nipples. It takes only a few flicks to make him fully moan. He then drops down on the floor pulling your pants down with one swift move, revealing your throbing cock.  He pumps his hand up and down and licks over the tip of your dick. Soon enough he replaces his hands with his mouth, sucking you off. "Oh fuck, You're really good." You press his head down and rock your hips forth and back. Yoongi seemed to be encouraged because he bobbs his head even faster on your dick. You were lost in the feeling of his warm and wet mouth around you when Yoongi pulled away. He slid his own pants down. "Please fuck me!" He doesn't have to ask you twice for that. You lift him up and place him on the sink. You shove two fingers in his mouth. "Lube them." While Yoongi sucks on your fingers and lets his tounge play around your fingertips you stroke his little cock.Once your fingers were wet enough you glide both of them into his ass. He grabs onto your arms and inhales deeply. You scissor his ass open, you wanted to be rough with him but not too harsh. Soon Yoongis insides were clenching around your fingers in the hope for more. That's when you replace your fingers with your cock. Yoongi moaned loud and arched his back when you entered him. You placed a hand on his mouth and hold his other hand while you push your whole lenght in. Once you were fully burried inside him you slowly start moving. Fully out and back in. You want him to feel every inch of you filling him up. After a few more thrusts Yoongi closed his legs behind you pushing you deeper. "God dammit, stop teasing and fuck me already!" "As you wish, your majesty." Yoongi was flustered but didn't take down his crown. You kissed him to keep him muffled while your hips thrust into him fast and deep. Yoongi pulls at your hair to keep you as close as possible, enjoying your embrance. The small room fills with hot air and both of you start sweating. Longing for better excess you decide to put Yoongi down and shove him face forward into the wall; fucking him from behind. You play with his niplles and watch his small penis twitch with every delecate touch of yours. You feel the tention building up inside you, so you place your arm around his waist  pulling him closer and holding him by his throat pushing his head onto your shoulder while you increase your pace. You can see Yoongis eyes roling back into his head and nothing more then a pleasured whimmer escapes his mouth. You grunt into his ear. "Do you like being fucked like that little prince?" Because Yoongi didn't answer you stopped your movement. He's being needy and trys to move on his own but you hold im thight in place. "Answer me." You place a sweet kiss on his forhead. "Yes. Yes, I love how you fuck me. Please don't stop!" Satisfied with his words you pick up your speed and thrust relentlessly into Yoongi until you come inside him. His warm walls milk your cok and he himself came almost untouched. Yoongi made a mess on the tiles infront of him. He turns around kisses you eagerly. "Wow, we definitly need to do that again in the future." "We can repeat that as often as you want. I would glady fuck your fine ass again." Feeling playful you wink at him and show him a bright smile. Yoongi hits you soft and laughs himself. "You're an idiot." "If you agree  on seeing me more often, I may be your idiot someday." "Mh.. you know, I actually kinda like the idea of that."

[scuttleboat]

So an update on me!

Well, some great stuff happened this month that has kept me very busy IRL, and that has paired with my avoidance of fandom in a way to make me seem like I jumped off the planet. So here's a summary:

The 100 final weeks happen at the same time as my last month in university.

I'm preparing for my school to end, doing career prep, and applying for jobs

I watch ep 10 of t100 and have a gut reaction that I'm not FEELING everything that's going down like I was at the start of the season.

I basically don't watch ep 11

I get sort of spoiled for ep 11 but whatever, we knew it was cannibalkru. I hear Clarke stuff I really DONT want and I'm like "oh god I don't actually want to watch that, it doesn't sound fun." Also apparently there is no deeper unveiled Bellamy-is-still-complex plan, there's just a generic "hero now" version of him that's boring.

I don't watch ep 12. Now I'm two eps behind. I actually don't really know what happens in ep 12 except a fight or something between two women that I hate the sound of and resent knowing exists even in distant abstract. God do I not want want any of what I hear about. Kane gets eaten, maybe dies? I wish I still cared about Kane but honestly the last time I did was 2+ years ago.

Finale week. Also the week before finals week. I am still on social media (kind of) but I go off bc I know I am not gonna see the final episode today. I do see a screenshot but I don't trust it.

I take Tumblr and Twitter off my mobile home screen and don't open them, don't look at messages.

Days pass. I am, technically, 3 episodes behind. But now watching 3 hours of tv I surely won't like becomes this huge, DAUNTING task. It's so much easier to do IRL stuff. I need to do it anyway. It's good motivation!

I keep adding "Watch the 100" to my phone calendar and then keep moving it to the next day.

The only chat I'm in gets 2000+ messages in the first week. I get messages on Tumblr that I don't read bc I am pretty sure they will be like "what did you think of X spoiler" and for some reason I'm still holding onto this don't-spoil-myself thing.

OTOH, my email inbox is suspiciously empty of fanfic alerts from AO3. That's really the most damning thing, you know? It means that people who write regular little canon ficlets aren't writing. It means that not exactly does *bad* things happen to my OTP (that is fic fodder), but that fic writers are dispirited by the show and aren't being INSPIRED to write.

So now some things are piling up:

I would have to watch 11, 12, and 13 to get caught up. That's 120+ minutes of probably-unpleasant television.

I already know that it has characters I love doing specific things that make my stomach turn and make me actively resent the show

I know my fellow shippers hate it, or just feel depressed

I know many people who AREN'T bellarke shippers also hate it

I know they basically end the world again (or something??) and just like, WHY

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO REPEAT, IT'S SO PUNISHING AND BORING

I have actual, real world motive to not be on social media because I'm working really hard to get gainful employment in my chosen field and that keeps me mega busy.

SCENARIO:

IF I want to be on Tumblr/fandom THEN I will be spoiled.

IF I want to avoid being spoiled, THEN a) I can watch the ending, b) I can avoid social media.

IF I watch the ending THEN I probably will be disappointed

OPTIONS:

a) watch the ending

b) spoil the ending

c) avoid social media until I get a job and then deal with (a).

FOR NOW, I'M GOING OPTION C.

Option (c) has the added benefit of actually being good for my real life. However, it also means I've been really absent from a lot of my social fandom relationships. Sorry about that.

If you want to contact me:

Reply to this post. TBH I am not reading my PMs because, again, spoilers. And I'm not on my dash or activity page. I'll answer PMs in a month or two.

Please don't talk about the season finale bc if you've made it this far you know that I'm clearly trying to engage with that on my own timeline and I do want to be somewhat unspoiled, as much as I can.

In other news, I have a second bachelor degree! Whoo hoo! This time it's OF SCIENCE.

That's right bitches, arts AND sciences. I straddle the academic divide. I can do all your jobs. 🤓😎 Hope y'all are having a good summer.

[ghostcrows]

Skee Possum Ghostcrows’s analysis of the film Lady Bird which i watched in my english class and want to talk about to someone starts Now. nobody asked and i delivered ;)

it’s not like i think it was super groundbreaking or anything but it just made me think. films that make you go hmm

will tag as long post but i am not putting it under a cut sorry

first i’ll talk about things i didn’t like because i like to end on positive notes

cons:

- very straight. very heterosexual. there’s a gay guy in it and he’s actually treated fairly well, though we don’t delve deep into his story, but watching lady bird go to town on guys was an unpleasant experience that luckily the screen being too dark saved me from the worst of

i understand WHY they did it, it’s a coming of age sort of story, she’s learning and leaning into her sexuality, that’s fine, but i’m hopelessly heterophobic so i can’t help but detract points for this

- the ending was way too abrupt....i didn’t expect to see lady bird’s entire life story unfold but i feel like we needed at least a scene or two more to end on a note that didn’t feel so lacking...i kind of get it though like not everything is perfect loose-ends tied and we don’t get to see everything all the time but...it felt lacking.

- i don’t like that she went back to using the name christine. maybe it’s just the transed in me but i thought her asserting this name, this identity that she carved for herself, was really cool, and i can see how it might be considered her being “ashamed” of her name or her trying to be someone she isn’t, but....it was clearly special to her. it just. it would have been more powerful, i think, to me at least, for her to keep the name lady bird. it’s an interesting name

- speaking of her name, we never really get to know why she goes by lady bird. maybe i missed something, but i don’t think we do. i would have liked to know what significance that name had to her. maybe it was like, the dream of flying far away like a bird, that sort of thing, how birds symbolize freedom and all that. maybe that’s part of why she went back, when she realized her town wasn’t all bad. but still. just personally i think she shouldn’t have gone back to christine

neutral things:

- it was kind of weird how she was talking to that guy at a party about not believing in god. i kind of got the impression that the catholic church had made her disillusioned. it’s not necessarily bad that she still had faith (or seemed to based on that conversation), it’s just strange. maybe that was to show how she was thinking back on and regretting being so cold to her surroundings? still.

- not so 2000′s it’s sickeningly in your face but it was just 2000′s enough lmao. like, the bell bottom jeans and the flip phones and just the all around vibe...yeah

- i felt kind of bad watching lady bird leave julie to try and get in with jenna and kyle and their crowd. she didn’t seem like the type to do something like that. i can kind of understand though, peer pressure and all. and she went back in the end, so she did learn her lesson, which is good

- sometimes she would start to make a point to her mom or the church like she was stickin it to em, like the abortion assembly, but then she swerved and ended it weird. like she had us in the first half i’m not gonna lie lmfao

good things/noteworthy things:

- i thought the shots were pretty good. i mean, i don’t know a lot about the technical aspects of film (despite spending two years of high school in AVTF) but it just looked good, the colors looked good, they made sacramento look really gorgeous. which really made you ask, why does she hate it here of all places? “wrong side of the tracks” my ass...

but see, i can still understand that. i think that, when you find yourself in a bad position in life, when you’re going through a rough time, you tend to lash out on your surroundings. i did that myself with my own hometown. sometimes i still do. i think it’s a boring, stagnant place and on my worst days i think it’s a literal hellhole. but it’s not, really. i’m the hellhole. the hellhole is me. and that’s why it was a shock for her when she went to new york and kind of just did the same reckless things she was doing before. it doesn’t matter where you go, you can’t escape your problems just by moving to a different place. you can’t leave your brain in your hometown and fly a hundred miles away and be happy. you have to work on you first. a change of scenery might help but ultimately, you gotta fix you

- i found it contradictory to me in that it was really relatable while also being pretty unrelatable. when i look at lady bird as a character, i see myself. but not all of myself. not even myself as i am now. more like a piece of myself. a piece thats still in me but that largely got left behind in high school. which makes sense bc thats where she is during the course of the film

i found it relatable in just, the ways they showed the audience the experience of being an adolescent afab person. not completely, but in a lot of ways. i saw my ninth and tenth grade cis girl self a lot. 

what was unrelatable was mostly the way that while i sat around and daydreamed about being this rebellious teenager sticking it to the world, she actually went out and did it. it’s like seeing an image of who i might have been, had i acted out on my desires. and i’m not saying i wish i had done that or that i’m glad i didn’t. it’s just an observation more than anything. it’s like, my wild girl self if she had “flourished” (if you can call it that, and yeah she wasnt TOTALLY wild but like. the amount of wild, the amount of fun and rebellious that i’d wanted to be then)

- the way they talk about sex is very real, which i like. it’s funny and not too prudish or too vulgar (though i dont really have standards for too vulgar lmao). that was just cool

- i’m glad that danny was a character. yeah he was just a side dude and they didn’t touch on him being gay in depth but they didn’t really need to? like. i’m just glad it was the way it was. he didn’t die or get punished or have everyone turn against him, he just upset lady bird because he was pretty much cheating and her feelings for him had been more real than his for her. she tried to use it as an insult briefly but i don’t think it was out of real animosity, just being hurt because she’d felt betrayed. and when he broke down and cried and she stood there and held him that almost made me tear up in class oops

- this is a big huge one. the way lady bird and her mother’s relationship operated was so. SO fucking resonant with me. and i wish it wasn’t. it’s like looking in a mirror and hating what you see. i’m glad i saw it, but i hate that it’s true to me too. y’know?

the way her mother is constantly overly criticizing and making comments towards her and lady bird tries to defend herself or come back at her, the way she subtly (or overtly) suggests that lady bird will never amount to anything great and she should just settle for mediocrity

the way her mom refuses to speak to her when she’s begging her to just say something, anything to her

the way her mom acts when she takes her to the airport

the way she shames her for being financially dependent on her and assumes that she’s ungrateful when she’s just. frustrated with the situation (i understand why her mom feels that way, i understand why MY mom feels that way. but you still can’t make your kid feel like shit for costing so much to raise when they didn’t ask to be born lmao...) the scene where she says “give me a number. give me a number so when i get rich i’ll pay you back and more and never have to speak to you again” and her mom’s reply that she’ll probably never get that far? that was so real it KILLED me. that was EXACTLY something that would happen between me and my mom

and oh . ohhhhhh my god. when she’s in the changing rooms and her mom can’t come up with a nice thing to say about her dresses...and lady bird says “do you like me”

“lady bird, i love you”

“yeah....but...do you like me.”

and her mom had nothing to say

that was PAINFUL. PAINFUL...because that’s...the way i feel with my mom too

- the way that financial stress can bring emotional turmoil to an entire family was really resonant as well, which ties into that last part. i could understand her parents’ struggles and sympathize with them, but i still leaned towards siding with lady bird because while yeah she was kind of extra sometimes, and she tried to act like she was one of the rich kids bc she was ashamed, and i get how that would hurt her parents....overall she was just. frustrated with the situation. frustrated with her relationship with her mother, frustrated with her school, afraid she might not get where she wants to be, CONSTANTLY discouraged by her family and told to aim lower....whatsa girl ta do yknow?

- i loved that lady bird went to prom with julie. it was really sweet. and it’s a reach and a half but bisexual lady bird confirmed

- i think ultimately its good that she kind of realized, oh...yknow...maybe its not the town i hated. i think i actually quite like my hometown. it was just my situation. and there’s a lot about sacramento that i can appreciate. i think that was good. BUT i don’t think it should end with her going back and settling just because she made that realization. you can come to that conclusion that maybe things weren’t so bad with the place you lived, without giving up completely and moving back home. i don’t like the implication that she was wrong to want more, wrong to change her name, wrong to try and carve a place and a name for herself in the world. i don’t like the idea that her family was right all along. and it doesn’t end outright saying that, it ends super abruptly and is up to interpretation, but i really like to think she made it in new york. or at least that she made it somewhere. and that maybe her relationship with her mom got better with time. it’s what i hope for me and my mom too

and i think that’s it. thanks for listening if you liked this video smash that like button smash that subscribe button and hit the little bell so you never miss a notification. until next time!

[cawwriting]

Demons and Coffee SFW

((A big thank you to @demigosh for their commission, this was so much fun to write! this was a flash commission and i still have 4 spots open so pm me for details!)

For any good story to be told it is suggested to have a protagonist, someone who throughout some personal downfall betters themselves and becomes some sort of heroine type figure- a character that the unknowing audience could possibly look up to and even admire. However why does every story need this? The answer is they dont, my fantastical labyrinth of words surely will not. However, we will have a boy, he will remain unnamed for the sake of remaining ambiguous and debatably headache inducing. Said boy looks tired, as if his eyelids are permanently fixed to the halfway point in his eyes, and his lips look ancient as if they were never made to open, they are dry like mystical ruins covered by dunes of sand.His hair however changes the game, his hair completely flips the game over and destroys it. His hair is like that flavour of lollipop- what was it? Blue raspberry? That's not a fucking flavour and his hair can't possibly be this colour- but it is and will continue to be. His cheeks contrast his chapped lips and lidded eyes by showing a nice rosey color, it was the only way to show he could be considered alive. If it weren't for the color in his cheeks you may believe he were among the living dead in which his society holds many of and which his mind held zero of.

While his mind did not hold the living dead it did hold an animated evil, something never meant to inhabit this boy. Now i will introduce to you a girl, also unnamed for reasons semi-identical to the boy- well not really. Her name is secret even to me and the only person living who even knows the syllables of her title is the boy from before. However, let's take a moment to note the girl’s characteristics- though only the boy can actually see the blinding rainbow vomit of color which is of the female variety. Her hair is just as fake in coloration except hers is real, the shoulder length bubblegum pink has lovely curls in random spots, the curves and edges almost absolutely were artificial. A horn slides from the upper middle part of her forehead and her sharp teeth murmur whispers of death to anything caught between them. Her ears pointed out like branches from a tree, catching breezes of noise in them.

Onto the story, the gorgeous tapestry painted by my typing fingers, the forced meeting of a boy and a boy, of which was made possible by a cherry blossom colored demon who will continue to reign unnamed. A spilled coffee and an unusually perky apology from a boy who never speaks. A date. Enough of this! Its story time! Buckle in kiddos it's gonna get gay.

~

A boy walks down a broken sidewalk covered in crunchy leaves, each step calling out in sound and smell. The wind held a soft remembrance of sun, warmth mixing with the cool air to gently prick the skin on his rosey cheeks and dull features. He cleared his throat, walking along with one hand slid into his jacket pocket and the other holding a latte from his local cafe- he had just taken his leave from this place and was getting ready to go straight back home and hop onto the internet for his daily dose of indirect social interaction. However he had this pain in his head, one he knew all too well was not a headache- and then he saw her- the headache faded and he sighed in a frustration that showed he was well enough tired of her antics and shenanigans. The girl. The demon. “Heyyy!!!” Her voice was high pitched and not all that unpleasant for the normal ear- though no one else could hear her. However, this voice for the boy was nails on chalkboard, fork to plate if i must. He tried pretending she wasn't just floating circled around him and begging to be noticed. Eventually his anger got the best of him and he halted his steps, glaring daggers at the girlish figure who had stopped her cycle of rotations to listen to what he had to say, seeming almost giddy for his words. “Shut. up. Leave me alone.” He grumbled quietly, wanting to seem normal at least in public, speaking to her outright in front of others could get him admitted and that wouldn't end well for him or his demon.

Her face sinks and she whined out like a child who didn't get their way, arms crossing tightly over her chest as she now hovered in front of his face. “I'm bored!!!! I want to have some fun! You never leave your stupid house! Come on let's do something!” She insisted excitedly, nearly bouncing up and down as her craving for excitement grew. She turned upside down showing off her toothy grin and flicked his nose, earning a hand swat and a heavier look of annoyance. “No.” was all he had to say on the matter.  He then pushed past her and started walking again, her left behind a moment before finally she caught up to what he said and hurried after him. “But, but-” She started, only for him to cut her off. “No-”

He glanced his eyes down at the foliage covered concrete so he could speak to her quietly without anyone else noticing he was, he felt he needed to be discreet. He swallowed back to wet his dry throat and then also ducked his tounge from his mouth a moment to wet his lips before speaking. “Look- I don't need any excitement, raising a cat and babysitting you is far more than enough excitement fo-” She looked as if she was about to cut him off so he cut his eyes at her as to make sure she stayed quiet before he noticed she listened. She was quiet, but her lips had split into a long devious grin, her arms crossing again and she looked away. He looked up and raised an eyebrow, “Wha-” That was when he crashed into someone- god she planned this didn't she. He fell back onto his ass, squeaking out as hot coffee spilled onto both him and the poor victim of his Demon’s spite.

“I was going to tell you to watch out.. Hehe… but it seems you didn't want me to interrupt!!!” She was laughing pretty hard now though it was only annoying to the one person that could hear her- god she sounded like a hyena. He did his best to ignore the demon and scrambled to his feet to help the other male up. He was wearing a green apron with a name tag that read ‘James’ and all around them on the ground was soil and most likely ruined flowers drenched in coffee. The boy’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment and he grabbed his hand to help James to his feet, spitting out apologies faster than a woodchipper spits out scraps. “I am so sorry i really should have been watching where i was going oh no your flowers are ruined coffee cant be good for them oh no i'm so-” He got cut off by the florist. “Its okay, I have more- it was just a silly accident.”

James, the florist, gave a smile to the boy to make sure he knew that all was forgiven. He just seemed so genuine, light sandy hair floating in the breeze and freckled cheeks easily warmed by the little sun there was. The boy was silent, swallowing down any more apology he had to throw as a girl slid up behind him and giggled, sliding arms over his shoulder. “Get his number, come on, come on, come on!!!” it was the demon. Ugh.  He wa frozen for a moment, worrying James who tilted his head and asked if he were okay. James’ words snapped the boy from his frozen state and caused him to start rummaging through his book bag for napkins. “Here! I-uh I have napkins!!” He spouted, pulling a handful out only to have the torrent wind swipe them from his fingertips and within moments having them out of sight. “Uh Uh-” He was freezing up again, coffee growing cold on his body and making him shiver, god this was hard and his demon was not making it any easier- she was bouncing around him and cheering like a cheerleader that he should date James and how he should at least get his number. She loved shipping him with strangers and this had to be a scene out of one of her fanfictions she enjoyed so much.

He was ruining his chance and she was angry about it, something needed to be done before he lost his chance with the rather cute florist. She didn't do this often because it exhausted both her and the boy but hell! Drastic times call for drastic measures and if this wasn't a drastic time then what was? She slid into his body and his eyes glowed pink for a moment as she took over control, once she had control though she got him to smile and help the florist pick up the other things that he had dropped. He kept him rather quiet but much more relaxed as he walked with James to his flower shop so they could both clean up and get warm. It wouldn't be long until they were laughing about the mishap and introducing themselves to one another. And by the tie she decided her time in the body was up the boy held a ripped piece of paper, a corner from a receipt perhaps?  With James’ number on it.

She wouldn't release control of his body though until they were finally back in his small apartment, him immediately collapsing onto his bed and groaning out in pain. Possession was never a pleasant experience for either of them. She was doubled over across the room from him, whimpering softly before yawning- she then realized just how tired she was and decided to go back to being unseen, causing him a light headache that lasted about thirty seconds, By the time he was recovered she wasn't present for him to yell at. He believed her shipping antics and possession were completely unwarranted, sure the man had been cute but he most likely was straight or already was taken. How embarrassing. He wished he could remember just what was said, but he was just left with a slip of paper with some numbers on it.

He made his way out of bed and threw off his book back, jacket, and soiled shirt, leaving him in a partially dry tank top- in which he worked over to his desk to plop down and open up his laptop. Ooh a notification! The boy wonders if it is one of his three internet friends but when he finally arrives at the notifications source he is disappointed to find it is not. It's not a message but a friend request.

[James Hareild is has sent you a friend request accept?]

He groaned quietly but couldn't be rude, this guy probably really got hit on today by your possessed body. And after a day like this rejecting the friend request and just pushing today aside may not be an option. He would have to talk to ‘her’ later about this crazy invasion of privacy and boundaries. Oh well let's get this over with.

[James Hareild is now your friend]

Now that there is nothing more to do he closes his laptop and glances around his dim room, it was messy with food bags on the stained carpet and none of his clothing was even close to being in the closet. Was this becoming an unhealthy lifestyle? Yes. Does he care? No. This is something he has grown used to, there was no one to actually impress, he had no friends to show his ‘sweet crib’ to so why keep it tidy? Or at least this was his thinking on the matter. God a nap sounds good, even if his bed is covered in crumpled papers and discarded clothing, he decided a nap is what he will get. He is on his way, stepping to bed when the familiar ache in his head showed that ‘she’ was in his home again and visible. “Yes?” He called out, not seeming the happiest with her right now.

Her smile grew big and sharp again as she plopped down on the edge of the bed to look up at him, she seemed completely recharged, the opposite of himself. “Wellll!!! I thought you may want to know you have a date Saturday! You'll meet the flower boy at that silly cafe you like so much!” Her voice was just as excited as when they were walking down the concrete slabs earlier that morning- it was late afternoon now. The boy however was not amused and would not be amused, he refused to find any of this as a positive toward his normal routine. He liked the pattern he had made for himself and this random ‘ship possession’ was highly intrusive. “I can't go.” He said simply, causing her to pout and huff like a child. “What!!! And why not?!” She squeaked, seeming genuinely offended by this progression of events.

He rolled his eyes and decided he would play along at least for the moment, “I haven't even called him yet, why would I  go on a date with him? “ he then got serious, joking time was over and he focused his look on her. “I don't even know what was said while you were possessing me- which was highly uncalled for by the way!”He was scolding now and she just seemed to be sitting there and taking all of it with a grain of salt, almost as if she were proud of herself, or maybe self-important. She then stood and sauntered up to him, swaying her hips as a more serious look settled into her bright and usually energetic eyes. “Well… if you found a way to rid yourself of life and give me your soul we wouldn't have this predicament would we?” Her voice instead of the streaky glass it sounded like was smooth and echoed in the room, causing the lights to flash around him.

This all would scare someone who wasn't used to it, but he had accidentally summoned this demon many years ago and this behavior was nothing new for him. He merely crossed his arms and raised a brow- “Are you done yet? These theatrics aren't really your style and they don't fit you at all” His voice was just as smooth in a mocking kind of way but it had  no echo and did not cause electrical anomalies. She in reaction to this began laughing and laughing before wiping a tear away from her eye and nodding, “Yeah haha, you're right i guess.” And with that and a slight head pain she was gone again. He rolled his eyes and slid his pants down, then laying on top of his covers and deciding to get some rest, she would surely continue to torment him tomorrow until he agreed to go on the date so he knew sleep would be for the best. His eyes slid closed and finally rest consumed his consciousness.

[gaarfielf]

my list of lupin movies ive watched for the sake of keeping track and making sure i dont rewatch some

Castle of Cagliostro (10)

favourite Lupin movie of all time. Fantastic art, cast, plot, everything.

Blood Seal: Eternal Mermaid (8.5)

Really good animation and really interesting plot. Another ‘Lupin has to babysit’ movie but it was treated in such a way that set it apart from other ones. He gives her a lot of good advice and overall I really enjoyed this one even if it’s kind of underrated.

Burning Memory - Tokyo Crisis (8.5)

Surprisingly good like I wasn’t expecting a 90′s Lupin movie to come for me like this but the animation is really solid and the movie itself was really funny. I also liked that Maria and Zenigata weren’t a thing like that cleared my pores.

The Bloodspray of Ishikawa Goemon (8)

The animation is fucking stellar but there were odd gaps in the movie that were really inactive. I liked the two subplots going on though like they were both interesting.

Bye Bye Lady Liberty (8)

The classic convoluted subplots worked well here tbh and the Goemon romance stuff was gunshot noise gunshot noise cash register noise. The animation had this weird glow to it but it was (almost) the 90s lol

Hemingway Papers (8)

They really got me with Goemon and Jigen going against each other and Lupin being in a relationship with someone aside from Fujiko (a relationship that was genuinely romantic) was actually pretty well done. That whole bit at the end with the karaoke machine? Amazing

Return the Treasure (7)

Another one that was really close to being perfect. The only loose ends was that the “treasure” wasn’t really explained very well (but i mean, the lead up to it was very good) and i could’ve done with more scenes with the whole gang (it seemed like there was a lot of times where it was lupin jigen and fujiko or lupin goemon and fujiko, but not enough of all of them together)

From Siberia With Love (7) 

The usual amount of humour and action from a Lupin III film and the art is pretty standard. Goemon got a few nice quotes in and Fujiko talked to a woman. Could’ve done without Rasputin but thats just me.

Elusiveness of the Fog (7)

Lupin offering Goemon to the princess was kinda funny and I actually really liked OG Mamo (not the short freak) being revitilized bc his episode in the original series was really entertaining. The history of where they were was a little wonky but I’ll give it to them this time.

Pilot Film (7)

That shit was wild i liked how jigen was introduced as the gunman and then beat the shit out of 3 police officers with his bare hands. also goemon i guess dedicates his life to killing lupin so thats fun, like he’s on zenigata’s side i guess. could’ve done with fujiko making an expression at any given time but yknow what? it was funny and it was only 12 minutes long

Another Page (7)

Surprisingly not that bad. To summarize the film as a whole I’d say: it could have been worse. The plot made sense which is more than i can say about most lupin movies and they stuck to two subplots that were both interesting and meshed pretty good by the end. And the two lady characters that got introduced didn’t betray anybody AND didn’t die.

Farewell to Nostradamus (6.5)

The animation was pretty good and I liked the whole ‘we gotta protect this kid’ thing but I always mix up this one and Bye Bye Liberty Crisis like this movie is it’s less interesting twin. Both of them have kids they need to protect but Bye Bye Liberty Crisis was just better. I feel like this one had a really good ending but aside from that the movie wasn’t that memorable for me.

Fuma Conspiracy (6.5)

i liked Goemon being in a relationship bc it was really sweet, i just wish there wouldve been a better balance of romance to plot. Also terrible voice actors but that just affected my enjoyment not really the plot or anything relevant.

Sweet Lost Night (6)

I like time shenanigans and my only two critiques are the inconsistent art quality and they seemed really hesitant to embrace time skipping. Like “he’s limited to twice before he becomes brain dead” was a little bit of a small window. If anything they missed out on a good opportunity for a classic lupin montage of him time skipping way too often. Maybe if they changed it to “you skip time every 12 hours, to every 6 hours, to every 3 hours, etc” until he stops existing?? like that seems more in line with a lupin plot not to mention a little more suspenseful.

Dead or Alive (6)

The new art style is kind of neat and didn’t really affect the personality of the characters like I thought it would. The plot itself was complicated and hard to follow but I mean, it wasn’t awful. Nothing I really hated and nothing I loved.

Jigen Daisuke’s Gravestone (6)

Handsome Jigen was cool but tcm i’m begging you to drink your Respect Women Juice. Also Goemon wasn’t in this one what the fuck was up with that. Lupin looked like a crispy toenail in the new art style but again the animation is gucci so I can’t really complain on that front.

Napoleon's Dictionary (6)

Reminded me a lot of Mamo except with more respect in women. Just kidding Fujiko was kind of a crapshoot in the end and the ending was more or less just. cut off?? like they crashed into the ocean after lupin ruined zenigatas marriage and the credits started rolling. it was weird bc it had a lot going but i guess they ran out of time for a proper ending?

Mystery of Mamo (6)

Respect Women Juice needed and also why was Goemon purple. The pros to this movie was the overall aesthetic being really attractive BUT the plot was sketchy and didn’t make a lot of sense. The only remarkable scene I remember is Jigen shooting the can by Lupin’s feet like I wish that emotion would’ve carried through the film and not ended there.

Red vs Green (5)

Really good animation, no fucking idea what happened in this film.

Walther P-38: Island of Assassins (5)

They missed an opportunity to be a little more psychological and the lady of the week dying was meh but I will say the plot stayed on course like they didnt try to do too much at once like they tend to do. I wish they would’ve delved more into lupin’s past with the doctor because that seemed kind of random but the more lethal, edgy plot was handled decently. I’ll probably forget this one in a week tbh.

Dragon of Doom (5)

I like learning more about Goemon but his girlfriend was really distracting and uneccessary. Like, if you want to introduce Goemon’s childhood friend sure its whatever but she only showed up to either threaten lupin or flirt with Goemon. And it was very obvious she was going to betray him so all her build up was pointless. I will say though, the plot was pretty cool which was surprising.

Voyage to Danger (4)

tcm I’m begging you to let Jigen talk to a woman and not have it be like ‘this is Jigens girlfriend now’. Sometimes women be talking and they aren’t thirsting for a man triple their age. It just be like that sometimes. Thats literally all I remember about this film.

First Contact (4)

I remember being excited for this like ‘oh wow their first ever meeting’ and i s2g this film was boring. And also a giant plothole. With no real redeeming qualities. I don’t even remember the animation being that good.

Columbus Files (4)

This film was at least funny bad but my hand to god I’d never watch it again. This is the first time I’ve ever watched a movie and had to watch the dub bc the sub was boring me to death. It was just... so bad... Especially when you’ve seen Wings of Death like this ain’t the Fujiko I know please leave.

Seven Days Rhapsody (3)

The comedy in this one was so weirdly incorporated and featured another really good ‘here’s Jigen’s dead girlfriend’ that i just could not care less about and then finished off with this what like 13 year old girl asking to be Lupin’s girlfriend? fuck outta here. The ONLY good part was Goemon slapping Lupin across the face.

Alcatraz Connection (2.5)

Really, really boring. The content wasn’t necessarily bad but they had 4 subplots going on that were equally uninteresting and some scenes went on for so so so long. It deadass took me 5 hours to watch this movie bc i kept pausing to do literally anything else. The art was unpleasant and by the time they got the treasure i didn’t really care anymore. Not to mention the plot was way too complicated and tin-foil hat for my liking.

Missed by a Dollar (2.5)

Made very little sense and in general was really annoying. Between Goemon being a born again Christian and the plot briefly derailing so Lupin could establish an oil company it was like can we pick something to focus on? By the end of the movie I was like wait when did they get the broach? What does the broach do again? And then he gives it to someone random and its like??

Gold of Babylon (2)

This one if the definition of being cursed and Pink Jacket deserved so much better than this nonsense. Like Lupin III isn’t known for its coherence, sure, but this movie had absolutely no structure. Upon finishing the film I was trying to remember anything that just happened and my brain refused. It kept the good cartoonish animation but god at what cost.

Angel Tactics (2)

TCM PLEASE DRINK YOUR RESPECT WOMEN JUICE. The art was just. Stunningly bad. Bad to the degree where about a minute thirty in I already regretted starting it. Not to mention the classic “we don’t actually wanna draw this part so we’re gonna jam cgi in here”. Also the most awkward use of “hey heres 3 women hey heres 3 men lets shove them together”.

Harimao’s Treasure (2)

nazis and transphobia which was extremely unfortunate considering the opening was actually one of the stronger ones I’ve seen from Lupin but immediately after the villain was introduced the quality of the film dropped about 90% and i wanted to die for the entire last half of the film. if they had changed the villain it would’ve solved 90 of their problems.

Twilight Gemini (2)

this was one of the only films in the entire lupin series where i was rooting for lupin to fucking perish. not only was goemon only in this film for 26 seconds, jigen was there for about 30 seconds and im not entirely sure if fujiko was there at all. not to be that guy but when they make lupin to be the most intolerable piece of shit in the world for this movie, don’t give him all the screen time. having to stare at this asshole for an hour and a half was exhausting.

Princess of the Breeze (2)

How a movie where Jigen has to carry a baby around in one of those funny baby-carriers turned out this fucking goddawful I have no explanation for. This movie was like an AU where all these other characters no one cares about happen to exist in the same universe as lupin. and when lupin does show up, i want him dead. Just horrifically boring and lazy art mixed with bad cgi. The only upside is that it isn’t Return of the Magician.

Return of the Magician (1)

I’m giving it a 1 on the principle that this wasn’t even a movie. It was a little less than an hour long and my god i’ve never seen a film so full of pad-time that if i can be so bold, there was more pad time than plot. What little plot they had made absolutely no sense and the art used cgi in the most bizarre and ugly ways. i’m pretty sure the credits played twice at the end. if there was a world record for lowest budget in a film, Return of the Magician would win hands down.

[hbrascend-blog]

There’s that project you’ve left on the backburner — the one with the deadline that’s growing uncomfortably near. And there’s the client whose phone call you really should return — the one that does nothing but complain and eat up your valuable time. Wait, weren’t you going to try to go to the gym more often this year?

Can you imagine how much less guilt, stress, and frustration you would feel if you could somehow just make yourself do the things you don’t want to do when you are actually supposed to do them? Not to mention how much happier and more effective you would be?

The good news (and its very good news) is that you can get better about not putting things off, if you use the right strategy. Figuring out which strategy to use depends on why you are procrastinating in the first place:

Reason #1 You are putting something off because you are afraid you will screw it up.

Solution: Adopt a “prevention focus.”

There are two ways to look at any task. You can do something because you see it as a way to end up better off than you are now — as an achievement or accomplishment. As in, if I complete this project successfully I will impress my boss, or if I work out regularly I will look amazing. Psychologists call this a promotion focus — and research shows that when you have one, you are motivated by the thought of making gains, and work best when you feel eager and optimistic. Sounds good, doesn’t it? Well, if you are afraid you will screw up on the task in question, this is not the focus for you. Anxiety and doubt undermine promotion motivation, leaving you less likely to take any action at all.

What you need is a way of looking at what you need to do that isn’t undermined by doubt — ideally, one that thrives on it. When you have a prevention focus, instead of thinking about how you can end up better off, you see the task as a way to hang on to what you’ve already got — to avoid loss. For the prevention-focused, successfully completing a project is a way to keep your boss from being angry or thinking less of you. Working out regularly is a way to not “let yourself go.” Decades of research, which I describe in my book Focus, shows that prevention motivation is actually enhanced by anxiety about what might go wrong. When you are focused on avoiding loss, it becomes clear that the only way to get out of danger is to take immediate action. The more worried you are, the faster you are out of the gate.

I know this doesn’t sound like a barrel of laughs, particularly if you are usually more the promotion-minded type, but there is probably no better way to get over your anxiety about screwing up than to give some serious thought to all the dire consequences of doing nothing at all. Go on, scare the pants off yourself. It feels awful, but it works.

Reason #2 You are putting something off because you don’t “feel” like doing it.

Solution: Make like Spock and ignore your feelings. They’re getting in your way.

In his excellent book The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking, Oliver Burkeman points out that much of the time, when we say things like “I just can’t get out of bed early in the morning, ” or “I just can’t get myself to exercise,” what we really mean is that we can’t get ourselves to feel like doing these things. After all, no one is tying you to your bed every morning. Intimidating bouncers aren’t blocking the entrance to your gym. Physically, nothing is stopping you — you just don’t feel like it. But as Burkeman asks, “Who says you need to wait until you ‘feel like’ doing something in order to start doing it?”

Think about that for a minute, because it’s really important. Somewhere along the way, we’ve all bought into the idea — without consciously realizing it — that to be motivated and effective we need to feel like we want to take action. We need to be eager to do so. I really don’t know why we believe this, because it is 100% nonsense. Yes, on some level you need to be committed to what you are doing — you need to want to see the project finished, or get healthier, or get an earlier start to your day. But you don’t need to feel like doing it.

In fact, as Burkeman points out, many of the most prolific artists, writers, and innovators have become so in part because of their reliance on work routines that forced them to put in a certain number of hours a day, no matter how uninspired (or, in many instances, hungover) they might have felt. Burkeman reminds us of renowned artist Chuck Close’s observation that “Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up and get to work.”

So if you are sitting there, putting something off because you don’t feel like it, remember that you don’t actually need to feel like it. There is nothing stopping you.

Reason #3 You are putting something off because it’s hard, boring, or otherwise unpleasant.

Solution: Use if-then planning.

Too often, we try to solve this particular problem with sheer will: Next time, I will make myself start working on this sooner. Of course, if we actually had the willpower to do that, we would never put it off in the first place. Studies show that people routinely overestimate their capacity for self-control, and rely on it too often to keep them out of hot water.

Do yourself a favor, and embrace the fact that your willpower is limited, and that it may not always be up to the challenge of getting you to do things you find difficult, tedious, or otherwise awful. Instead, use if-then planning to get the job done.

Making an if-then plan is more than just deciding what specific steps you need to take to complete a project — it’s also deciding where and when you will take them.

If it is 2pm, then I will stop what I’m doing and start work on the report Bob asked for.

If my boss doesn’t mention my request for a raise at our meeting, then I will bring it up again before the meeting ends.

By deciding in advance exactly what you’re going to do, and when and where you’re going to do it, there’s no deliberating when the time comes. No do I really have to do this now?, or can this wait till later? or maybe I should do something else instead. It’s when we deliberate that willpower becomes necessary to make the tough choice. But if-then plans dramatically reduce the demands placed on your willpower, by ensuring that you’ve made the right decision way ahead of the critical moment. In fact, if-then planning has been shown in over 200 studies to increase rates of goal attainment and productivity by 200%-300% on average.

I realize that the three strategies I’m offering you — thinking about the consequences of failure, ignoring your feelings, and engaging in detailed planning — don’t sound as fun as advice like “Follow your passion!” or “Stay positive!” But they have the decided advantage of actually being effective — which, as it happens, is exactly what you’ll be if you use them.

Originally published at www.hbrascend.in.