#like im a substitute teacher whos been given a briefing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soggypotatoes · 2 years ago

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ugh ok so like

I dissociate a lot, have my whole life, but a few days ago I experienced a complete switch over for the first time and it's still ongoing

like. I had therapy that day and I walked in and was like. acting very normal, because I can do that, and she pretty quickly asked '...have we met before?' and I've seen her every day since then so we're trying to work it out

I honestly thought at first that I'd died and been reincarnated into a living body by accident... but after seeing her a few times and trying to figure out who I am I see what's happening. it was scary but I'm adapting. I don't think this will last much longer. apparently something extremely triggering happened on Sunday and I actually passed out and woke up like this. I'm ok though. this is happening to keep me ok. like I'm totally fine, not really stressed about things, except for the fact that I'm dealing with a lot of fatigue.

still not sure who I am or why this is happening. but there ya go.

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#she said im acting completely different lol #i thought i was doing great #at pretending #my friend noticed too and i didnt even see them in person #i messaged them that something weirds going on thats it #and they asked if id dissociated into a different part #like . howd they know that I've only messaged them like 3 times??#blue speaks #im afraid people will not understand or think im doing this to avoid accountability #for what? i dont know #its strange though i know exactly who everyone is but everyone feels like strangers #like im a substitute teacher whos been given a briefing #except i havent actually been a teacher before #im getting the hang of it though #ive been tagging things and posting like normal #practicing being the person im meant to be #i dont think this will last much longer thoufh #hopefully...#also i use he/him pronouns exclusively #also i dont reeeeally remember what happened but i remember passing out!#just blackness taking over me #not like falling asleep #though i did sleep for a while #i dunno man. im new here #my names not really blue btw i havent figured that out yet #i just like blue the colour #ALSO i dont like any of the clothes here looool #im going to kmart tomorrow to get different clothes #ah and if you see me irl i will be acting normal ive gotten better at it #and this might be over any day now we'll see

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