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justanothersquidblog · 1 year ago

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How do your agents skills compare to eachother?

OK SO

let's make a list of stats that'll be graded out of five stars.

Agility (This includes speed and like, ability to dodge and stuff. also maybe parkour if thats funny.)

Endurance (This includes durability for when they get hit, and like, how long they can last in a fight)

Strength (This includes physical like muscle strength and hand to hand combat, and also their general hand-to-hand combat prowess)

Handyness (This includes their ability to use multiple different weapons, their skills using them, or just technical work like inventing)

Wits (this includes how smart they are street wise)

Smarts (this includes how smart they are book wise)

Now lets get grading! I'll make this a read more since its long.

San - The Captain

Agility: 3/5 Is pretty average to say the least. Can do the dualie dodge roll with weapons that aren't dualies. (can't squid roll though..) Used to be more of a 4/5 back in their hayday but not bad considering their next skill's rating...

Endurance: 2/5 San used to be pretty damn tough and durable. But after being hit by the sanitization ooze, San's body and immune system weakened pretty severely.

Strength: 8/5 Despite our previous rating though, San is still horrifyingly powerful. San may have been a 10/5 back in Splatoon or before OE. An absolute demon. Isn't like, supernatural of course. You're not gonna see San pick up 14 wheelers like superman but like. Dude is strong. Dude can break bones. Dude picked up that slicey thing in Rise of the Mammalians. Yeah.

Handyness: 2.5/5 San's pretty meh with the other weapons? They're not great (which is why the minus 0.5) There's some clear favoritism with their trusty old hero shot that they refuse to fully depart from. It's their baby.

Wits: 4/5 They're pretty hip they're pretty cool they're pretty fresh. I hate that I said that. Thank Callie for that. But they've also matured and began to understand people now.

Smarts: 4.5/5 They're also pretty smart! Got through school. Knows how to do taxes. Thank Marie for that. But they're also quite tactical and can process logistical things better now.

Final Grade: San is a grade A glass cannon that can no longer be relied on during missions due to their lack of endurance/durability and roundedness with weapons but has shapened into a good enough leader to make up for their lack of on-the-battlefield-duties!

Yon - Agent 4

Agility: 4/5 Yon is very fast. And she's a dualie main so her dodging around is sorta a specialty. I think she could learn how to squid roll if she wanted to. But yeah! She's quick on her feet.

Endurance: 4/5 Yon is pretty durable! She can take a good amount of hits! But I think the weakest part of her is her confidence. If she has some doubt in her mind, she's prone to give in or give up easier.

Strength: 3.5/5 Yon used to be quite the wimp when she was younger due to primarily staying inside and studying! But moving out has given her lots of opportunities to stay fit and thanks to being an agent, get tough.

Handyness: 5/5 SHE HAS TO TEST.. SO MANY WEAPONS.. While Dualies are her preference, Yon is adept at pretty much every single weapon on the market thanks to Sheldon and Hachi's test requests. It makes her very reliable.

Wits: 2.8/5 While Yon has definitely become more cultured with modern society and trends, she's never fully gotten engrossed, even if she acts the part. She's a bit awkward and a bit naïve but we love her all the same.

Smarts: 4.5/5 Yon is very book smart. Not tactically like battle tactic wise but she's very book smart in terms of like, knowing how things work, math, science, like- things one can study for. This Squid knows how STOCKS works. Yay.

Final Grade: Yon is very well rounded, probably the most reliable agent in the Squidbeak Splatoon thanks to her even abilities, smarts, and her jack of all trades touch to using weapons. She has no plans on going up the ranks and no plans to outright pursue the Splatoon as her only job, but she's a very valuable member all the same.

Hachi - The Retired Agent 8

Agility: 3/5 While she could have probably ranked a 5 when she was in OE and parkouring with heels on, she's mellowed out and taken time off from that sort of intenseness.

Endurance: 5/5 Dude, Hachi is TOUGH. She is a fridge of a woman. You cannot shove her over if you tried. Her back may be pretty scarred from the tests but she is HARD to take down. She's been through hell and back and there's nothing much that can challenge her durability like that.

Strength: 4.5/5 While Hachi was pretty strong in OE she's become a VERY strong person thanks to working as pretty much a blacksmith for Ammoknights. She's beefy. She can pick up all her friends.

Handyness: 6/5 Like Yon she's very attuned to all weapons thanks to her experiences with testing them, although now it's more so because she makes those same weapons and has come to an even deeper understanding to them.

Wits: 3.5/5 She's pretty social all things considered. And she sorta got a very in depth crash course with society thanks to Pearl and Marina. They keep her up to date on EVERYTHING. So she's pretty fresh.

Smarts: 5/5 SHE MAKES WEAPONS SHE'S REAL SMART

Final Grade: Hachi is an absolute powerhouse. One woman army she is, with the highest amount of 5+/5 grades. But, she's retired from being an agent. So terrifying misadventures in [eggman voice] THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN are the only reason she'd be back and out on the field.

Neo - Agent 3

Agility: 4.5/5 Is the only member of the splatoon who can do the squid roll. I don't know why. I just think it'd be funny. Aside from that though, is very quick and very athletic.

Endurance: 4.5/5 This DUDE survived both SPACE AND THE DESERT. They're pretty tough! And her salmonid-like life style really tested his durability as an inkling.

Strength: 7.5/5 Like San, Neo possesses a very unnatural raw strength that powers them through her life. He's still got a ways to go compared to San, but their ferocious spirit carries her very far. I'd say Neo is much better at hand to hand combat than guns or rollers and whatnot though.

Handyness: 2.5/5 Like I said before, I think Neo is better at hand to hand combat than weaponry. Dude's stronger with claws than a gun, although, their introduction to more inkfish weaponry with ORCA's testing was picked up very quickly.

Wits: 2.5/5 If you wanted to know about Salmonid culture and street smarts there. Oh 5/5. But uh. Actual inkfish society? Uh.. taps tongue. They're a bit- well, she's at least pretty quick if it notices someones not being honest. Neo is NOT naïve. But they are very much a salmonid raised inkling.

Smarts: 2/5 Uh- she- uh- he- well- they uh- um. They can, count! They aren't DUMB! Let's be clear. They are NOT dumb. They just yknow, never, went to school.

Final Grade: Neo is a rising star in the squidbeak splatoon! Very physically skilled, like a mirror of squidbeak past- but has a lot of room to grow! Neo's still a rookie after all, and is figuring itself out.

#splatoon #splatoon oc #agent 3 #agent 8 #agent 4 #neo agent 3

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echantedtoon · 10 months ago

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Everyone Wants A Brother Like You Part 1 A Brother In A Different Way

Everyone wants a big brother, especially if it's one as caring and kind as Tanjiro. They all think so but it's too bad they can't have a brother like him-...Or can they actually in a different way?

(DISCLAIMERS!!: This is gonna be a little story based on the art by feshnie on deviantart and an au based on the same picture by @yuki2sksksk on Tumblr. It'll just be cute little Oneshots because honestly I think all these ships involving Nezuko are cute. Although Inosuke's route will be written up for interpretation as platonic or romantic. This is just an au I'm doing for fun so things aren't going to be cannon and might be ooc. All art shown with the Chapters (minus the coverart which is by Feshnie on DeviantArt) was either taken from the anime, from the Kimetsu No Yaiba/Kimetsu Gakuen mangas, or are sketches by Koyoharu Gotouge. I don't own demon slayer, the characters, art, etc. Demon Slayer/Art/etc. belongs to Koyoharu Gotouge.

Links to both content creators are below please support both artists and their own content.

Feshnie

https://www.deviantart.com/feshnie/art/BNHA-Brother-in-law-Tanjirou-818234170

@yuki2sksksk

https://www.tumblr.com/yuki2sksksk/718220290228961280/inspired-by-a-fan-art-i-saw-on-pinterest-sometime?source=share

Also everyone is alive because I said so. This takes place after battling Muzan for the final time and everyone is currently recovering.)

The beautiful morning sun gazed over the earth with a golden glow and cascaded through the window making the glass glow with a shine. The cherry blossoms outside swayed gently in the breeze as soft pink petals and perfect green leaves fell from their branches and floated down onto the ground outside of the Butterfly Mansion. Birds sang and fluttered about the breeze. The peaceful quiet settling in with the silent morning.

Until a flurry of giggles and squeals interrupted the air as three little girls ran past the window in play kicking up petals and leaves.

"Dammit! Can't they wait until later in the day to start playing!?"

The once silent room was alive with grumbles and groans of others waking in their beds. One in particular cursing the sun and turning around to plop back onto his stomach shoving a rather fluffy pillow over his head. However one of them was energetic enough to sit up and stretch out smiling at the window with a yawn and smile.

"Oh, come on. It's not that bad. It's a beautiful morning today!"

"HA!! I WAS AWAKE WAY BEFORE THE SUN WAS!! TAKE THAT YOU WIMPY FIREBALL!!"

"Would you be quiet?! Your yelling is worse than your snoring- OOP?!"

"HAHAHAHA!! TOO SLOW, MITENFU!!"

Red eyes turned over and sighed. Tanjiro had been hopeful it would be a nice morning before any training but it seemed like that wouldn't be the case. Inosuke had woken up in typical Inosuke fashion by yelling and declaring his righteous toughness over anything he randomly decided to challenge that day making Zenitsu yell back complaining. Unfortunately the blonde hadn't been fast enough to duck the incoming pillow their friend had thrown right at his face knocking Zenitsu back onto the bed.

"THAT'S UNCALLED FOR!!," the blonde furiously tore the pillow from his face sitting back up and pointing right back to him. "And it's Zenitsu! Got that?! You've known me for how long and you still can't get my name right?!"

"Oh, give it a rest both of you!! You're annoying as hell!!" Tanjiro looked next to him. Genya was still laying on his stomach and had the pillow over his head still. On his other side Muichiro blinked silently as his brain slowly became ungroggy to the world. "Next time I'm sleeping outside! At least the birds are quiet at night!"

"Says you!" Zenitsu dared to point at Genya next as the black haired boy glared at him from under the pillow. "You both snore so loud you can attract an army of demons from a hundred miles away!!"

"Guys." Tanjiro rose a hand to no avail.

"HUH?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN PENTA IS LOUDER THAN ME?!" In an instant Inosuke was standing on his bed pointing one hand at Zenitsu and one at Genya accusingly as both turned to now glare at him. "MY LUNGS ARE SO POWERFUL I CAN BEAT BOTH OF IN YELLING!!"

"Fucking hell. Can't you get my name right at least?"

"See?! I told you you're always getting everyone's names wrong!"

"I wasn't talking to you, Sunflower!!"

"Guys?" Tanjiro asked slightly louder as Zenitsu whipped back to Genya.

"SUNFLOWER!? DO I LOOK LIKE A PLANT TO YOU?!"

"No. At least plants are quiet." Genya finally allowed the pillow to fall from his annoyed face having given up on sleeping in that morning.

"At least sunflowers are nice to look at! You look like a piece of coal that got hacked up by a mangy cat!!"

"What the hell did you say to me, Blondie?!"

"HEY!! IM STILL LOUDER!!"

"WE WEREN'T TALKING TO YOU!!" "SHUT UP, PIGHEAD!!"

"GUYS!!" All at once the three of them stopped whipping around to stare at Tanjiro who gave a stern look back holding both hands up... before sighing allowing both his arms to plop back down to his sides. "Let's not fight. It's too early in the morning to fight like this."

Both Zenitsu and Genya looked at one another and scowled but otherwise didn't argue again much to Tanjiro's relief. Inosuke laughed loudly in triumph.

"HA!! That means I beat both of you in loudness!"

"You certainly do, Inosuke." Tanjiro smiled happily. "Let's all save the next contest for later."

"None of us were in a contest," Zenitsu mumbled under his breath but didn't start an argument again.

"Ok. Hey, Misthead. Where are you going?"

They all turned to Muichiro whom had just gotten up silently, tossed off the blankets, and walked off towards the bathhouse area. Rubbing his eyes and yawning as the others followed him with their heads.

"To get dressed. All of you are too noisy."

"Hey! That's not a bad idea!" Tanjiro smiled at him and quickly followed Muichiro's lead in tossing off the blankets and following after their friend. Making a motion at everyone else to follow. "Come on. Let's all go get breakfast! We'll feel better if we eat something."

More grumbling was had. Eventually one after one they followed after the cheerfully smiling boy. At least it would stop the grumbling and put everyone in a better mood and hopefully stop them all from fighting. Twenty minutes later and the whole group of them found themselves just outside the door leading to the garden. Shinobu had suggested they should get some fresh air while waiting for their food to be made but to in her own words-

"Mind your injuries. You're still healing from very serious injuries from a very serious battle. I'd hate to confine you all to bed."

Shinobu's threats were to be taken very seriously as experience has taught them. So they gathered just outside of the garden and watched the peaceful day go by. Not a single thing to be worried about now. Just then all and the peaceful morning air-

"TANJIRO!!" That was until three little girls came running right up to the red eyed boy looking almost worried.

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong!," one of the three girls spoke up smiling at him. "Nezuko just needs your help with getting firewood!"

"Oh! Of course! Where is she?"

Nezuko. Finally after so long she was human again. After so long and after so much stress and effort, his beloved sister was finally able to walk in the sunlight again and live out her life. Human. It's still as if he'd wake up one day and it'll all be a dream but it was his reality. One they had to keep.

Tanjiro scanned behind them but didn't see any signs of his sister. "Where is she?"

"Outside of the garden with Aoi." Another pointed to just outside the garden and near the treeline. "She's waiting for you."

"Alright then! I guess I better go help them." He turned a smile right back to his friends just as another new face appeared in the doorway behind them. "I'll be right back. Save me a bowl of udon when the food arrives. Alright?"

Then he left quickly leaving everyone else to wait standing there.

"WWWWHHHHAAAAA- Why didn't Nezuko-chan ask for my help?! As her future husband, don't I get some consideration from her?!"

"Oh put a sock in it, Sunflower!"

"What's going on?" A new voice asked as a boy the same age as Muichiro stepped out holding a broom in his hands looking confused.

"Senjuro," one of the girls greeted him. "Tanjiro's gone to help Nezuko and Ali with the firewood!"

"Oh." The flame haired boy smiled. "That's nice of him. Nezuko's lucky to have such a kind brother."

Muichiro glanced curiously at the other boy, a look of slight concern in his eyes. "Senjuro, how's Kyojuro?" Senjuro jumped and blinked taken aback in surprise at Muichiro of all people addressing him. But Muichiro only tilted his head further. "I heard as of lately he was still recovering from his battle wounds, but I have yet to see him around. How is he?"

Senjuro blinked again before sighing. "You mean despite the missing eye and hole in his stomach?" He nodded glumly. "He's ok. Not great but ok. Ms. Shinobu says he'll live but..I'm still worried about him." He looked uncomfortable to say the least and decided to change the subject. "How's your brother doing? Last I heard, Yuichiro's waiting for you at home right? I bet he'll be happy to see you again after so long!"

It was Muichiro's turn to frown with a hum. "I.. suppose so. It's been so long-"

"You two shrimps have brothers?," Genya questioned raising a brow and crossing his arms although not in a rude way, he looked more lightly surprised than anything."

"Why is that so surprising?" Genya paused as Muichiro pointed at him and uttered his next sentence. "Don't you also have a brother in the corps? I'm pretty sure it's Sanemi."

"Sanemi? Wasn't he the jerk who tried to kill Nezuko-chan?!" Zenitsu tossed another dirty look directed at the sweating Genya as Senjuro gave all three of them a look of alarm.

"He tried to do what?!"

"OH DROP THAT SUBJECT!! IT'S IN THE PAST!! Besides didn't you have a brother too or something that went into the final selection before you even did?" Genya half challenged half changed the subject to Zenitsu who flinched. HARD. "Yeah. He trained under the same master you did right? What was his name?....Kai or something like that."

Zenitsu stared wide eyed at them all.. before turning away with a quick sad look. "We weren't really brothers....I don't want to talk about it."

"I DON'T HAVE ANY BROTHERS!!" Of course Inosuke had to proudly and randomly yell it like it was something to be proud of.

A tense and awkward silence fell over the group as no one felt the urge to talk about their brothers or lack there of. A small cough was given to the group as they shuffled about...until the trio of girls looked at one another and the one with braids decided to change the subject.

"Nezuko-chan has a really cool brother," she said trying to lift the mood.

"Yes! Tanjiro's a really good brother! Nezuko is so lucky to have Tanjiro! I bet every wants a brother like him!," one of the other girls agreed making a small murmur of agreement pass through.

Yes...Nezuko was lucky to have such an amazing brother like Tanjiro. Anyone would be lucky to have a brother just like him. They all knew it... It's just a shame they couldn't have a brother like him, and Tanjiro wasn't related to them anyways. He was a really good friend however.

"Zenitsu, you're going to marry Nezuko-chan aren't you?" One of the girls asked curiously tugging gently on the blonde's sleeve careful to not jostle his still healing injuries.

Zenitsu was certainly surprised at the sudden question but still gave the girl a soft smile. "Yes, that's right!"

The middle girl who had asked the previous question hummed in thought and rubbed her chin. She was the only one who wore her hair down instead of in braids or pigtails. "But-...If you get married to Nezuko-chan, Tanjiro-san would be your brother-in-law wouldn't he?"

Zenitsu paused, blinked, before shrugging. "Well yeah. But that's not a problem with me. Do you want to know how our wedding will be?"

A silence had fell upon the others. Whatever else Zenitsu and the butterfly girls said was lost to the other four as at least of them went blank. Eyes wide open as a realization of what was said before them rang true in their heads.

"Tanjiro-san would be your BROTHER-in-law right?"

Right....

.... right-....

"WHAT'S A BROTHER-IN-LAW?!," Inosuke demanded looking confused by the term and three of his friends spacing off. "Can I fight it? I'll fight it and win!!"

"Calm down will you? Jeez! A brother-in-law is what you call a girl's brother when you start taking her out!"

Inosuke tilted his head at the blonde. "Are you saying I can get a brother just by taking out a girl?"

"Well...Yeah? I guess that's one way to put it. You weirdo."

"HA! The Great Inosuke then shall use this tactic from his underlings to extract this brother! If everyone else can get one then I will too!"

Zenitsu only deadpanned at him but couldn't get another word out as three familiar figures came around the corner. Aoi looking annoyed carrying a basket and the Kamado siblings. Tanjiro looked absolutely happy just carrying firewood joyfully and next to him just as joyful as her brother and more pretty was Nezuko. Laughing at something her brother said. Zenitsu instantly gushed out seeing her, Inosuke still proclaimed his soon to be victory, and meanwhile the three others remained silent. Staring. Idea swirling about in their heads taking glancing at one another

.... Maybe there actually was a way to gain a brother like him.

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nonobadcat · 2 years ago

Text

A real world AU Gothic Romance - part 1/3

Pairing: Ghost Shigaraki X Fem!Reader

Rating: Chapter one is PG-13. The other two chapters will be for readers 18+ only.

Content Warnings: Dead dog mention, cannon typical parricide

Eventual Kinks: Toys, V/oy, relations with a literal ghost

Chapter One Word Count: ~3k, Ao3 Mirror

Part 2 ---❤--- Part 3

Saturday October 15th, 2022

“So…?” gesturing like a vaudeville showman, you held out both hands towards your new house. “What do you think!? Great, right?”

Your best friend, Serenity, shoved her purple box-frame glasses up her wide, button nose and pursed her plush lips. Clicking her tongue, she curled her pointer finger into a loose coil of hair. Two tone sarcasm purred into her one word reply: “M-hmmm…”

Scratching the back of your neck, you glanced up at your new purchase just in time to watch one of the old tiles slip from the upper pitch of the dual-hipped roof. It bounced off the attic dormer, rolled past the mildew coated eaves, and slid across the mossy porch awning before tumbling a mere foot into the patchy, overgrown taxus bush.

You forced a smile and pointed to the ancient, untamed yew. “Well, at least the roots are strong.”

Serenity pinched the bridge of her nose. "Please tell me you didn't use the realtor's home inspector."

"Oh come on Ren-Ren," you laughed, waving her off. Your eyes rolled to the side as your smile fell by one tooth. "I mean… I checked the plumbing myself, so…"

Brown eyes narrowed at you as your voice trailed off. With a deep, motherly sigh, she squeezed your shoulder. "Listen, you know I love you, right?"

You nodded.

She hooked her thumb over her shoulder. "It's a dump."

"It's a historical home!" You protested, crossing your arms. "It has good bones!"

Serenity eyed up the dingy, chipping brick and sun bleached slate tiles before shaking her head. "How many square feet?"

You fanned your hand across your chest. "3.5k with an acre of property plus a full attic and root cellar."

She blinked. "Hold up. That's like $400k+ most places! I thought you said your budget was $220,000?"

You grinned. "Yeah, and this was only $130,000 including closing costs. Crazy, right?"

Your best friend did a double take, staring at the ramshackle Second Empire with renewed interest. "Well… at least that covers the roof and siding." She thumbed her chin and cocked her head. "You're sure this thing has indoor plumbing?"

You shoved her shoulder. "Don't be a dick."

Serenity snickered into her palm. "Okay, so aside from having a friggen 'root cellar' and all the curb appeal of a haunted house, what else is wrong with it?"

You pointed to the far edge of the property where a line of grizzled pines swayed in the autumn breeze. "Busiest train tracks in the greater metropolitan area."

She whistled. "That's gonna blow."

"Literally," you agreed, massaging your temples.

She elbowed you in the ribs. "Still quieter than living with your ex."

You grinned. "No kidding!" With a wave of your hand, you beckoned her around the side of the building. "Wanna see the cool part?"

"Your definition of 'cool' is sus."

You grabbed the sleeve of her caramel colored duffle coat and tugged. "Just come on!"

Across the clover riddled lawn, Serenity trudged behind you in her knee high, slouch boots. She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed to fight off the cool October wind. You pulled to a stop beside a massive old swamp oak and opened your purse. A wax coated paper sack appeared from the depths of your handbag. Scrawled in inky cursive were two words: "Doggone Delish".

You squatted low, and reached between tumbling roots. Gently brushing the leaf litter aside, you unveiled a carved piece of lichen encrusted soapstone. Time had worn the words smooth, but they were still legible.

"Mon: 1885?" Serenity murmured the text out loud before her eyes fanned wide. "Don't tell me that's a—"

You laid the oatmeal biscuit on the gravemarker and patted it fondly. "He was a Corgi. I found an old picture in one of the drawers." Rising to your feet, you brushed your hands on your jeans and grinned at her. "I always wanted a pet Corgi, and now I've got one."

Serenity eyed the long, dark branches of the towering giant above you. Their bare, grasping fingers crawled at the breeze. "Yeah well, hate to tell you this but your new dog is up the stump and fattening the squirrels by now."

You scoffed and flashed her a playful smile. "So? Ghost dogs are cheaper than live ones."

"Freak," she teased, kicking your heel.

You stuck out your tongue and wiggled your fingers at her.

A low rumble tumbled in on the wind. The train's whistle shrieked out in the distance. Serenity covered her ears and grimaced. You shrugged and pointed to the house. She nodded, trailing behind you.

When they spotted the biscuit upon the gravemarker, the pair of crimson eyes in the upstairs window wrinkled with delight.

After a brief climb up the sagging porch steps and a short war with the new latchkey, your party arrived in the entryway. Pastel grey and tar black tiles arranged in geometric patterns lay just before the lanky old staircase. To the right, sunlight streamed through the bay windows of the empty, blandly colored front parlor. As Serenity handed you her coat, she examined the silk rose print wallpaper of the foyer.

"The previous owners have all tried to renovate, but all of them had to stop the repairs before completion for some reason." You patted the yellowing flowers. "So a lot of it is still the original turn of the 20th century decor."

"Okay…" A puff of dust fluttered through the air as your companion tapped one of the old gas landliers in the entryway. With a grin, she turned to face you. "This place is kinda old-timey cool."

"Keep your shoes on," you told her, shuffling her coat onto the hanger. Tucking it into the cedar-lined hall closet, you toed the chipped porcelain tiles. "I haven't finished sweeping yet."

Serenity rolled her eyes. "Nobody’s got time to clean this much house by themselves!" She huffed and crossed her arms. "Why do you think my trunk looks like I scrubbed Mr. Clean’s bubbles?"

With a squeal of happiness, you flung your arms around her shoulders and crushed her against your chest. "Marry me, Ren-Ren."

"Keep that talk up and Marcus's paranoid self is gonna blow my phone up with his 'Baby, where you at?’-s," she laughed.

You released your friend and toed her boots. "You sure keep that boy under your heels."

"Mistress Ser knows what he likes,” she agreed, using the sleeve of her hubbie's hoodie to wipe the dust off the flecked glass of an old, gilded mirror. Tracing the ornate brass with the pad of her finger, she turned to you. “I’m loving this. Where’d you get it?”

“Came with the house.” You nodded to a cabriole legged, mahogany console just below the looking glass. Though the deep auburn shellac had silvered with sun damage, crystal knobs and burled wood spoke to its posh pedigree. A square shaped water ring in the dead center hinted at the old flower vase which must have once graced the hall. “Anything fabric was mouse eaten, but I saved the bedroom set.”

She wrinkled her nose. “You’re gonna sleep in some dead person’s bed? Gross.”

“Don’t make that face, Ren. I’m changing out the mattress.” You sighed. “Besides, this is legit heirloom stuff. When will I ever be able to afford fancy antiques on a my salary?”

Serenity patted your shoulder. “Long as you don’t go banging a ghost or something.”

You shoved her down the hall. “You're really gonna go putting those thoughts in my head?!”

“You love it,” she teased back, running her hand over the dusty glass shades of the wall bracket lamps. “Are these oil?”

You shook your head. “Natural gas with an open flame. The seller said they capped the lines years ago though. Apparently, they caused a huge house fire back in the day and killed everybody except the little boy who lived here. After that they switched to kerosene and candles.”

“Open flame?” Serenity pulled away from the light as if it had teeth. “Small wonder the place went up.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, cupping your elbows. “Sounds like the people who owned it in the forties tried to repair the damage to the gas when they added the electricity. Supposedly the lines were sound, but the gas never worked right. The flame was always going out, leaving the gas running unchecked. They think it was low pressure or something. It made them annoyed so they sold it.”

As you walked, your companion eyed the soaring twelve foot ceilings and ornate transoms above the massive box doorways. “Well duh. If you make your walls friggin fifty foot tall, of course you’re gonna have pressure problems!”

“Yeah, but the water pipes work fine,” you pointed out, grabbing the round brass handle to the empty parlor. Chantilly parquet floors creaked below your feet as you strolled to the old coal burning fireplace and rested a hand on the chipped marble mantle. In the center of the elaborate plaster medallion, a dusty teardrop crystal chandelier hung above your heads. You flipped the wall switch. The light flickered to life with a painful click, illuminating faded scarlet walls. “The electrician says the wiring is safe, but it still sounds sketch to me.”

“Like it’s grinding or something.” She pressed her ear to the peeling, geometric patterned paper before shaking her head. “Well, at least I don’t hear any bees. Marcus’s mom had them in her walls one summer and Memorial Day turned into a horror movie real fast.”

You strolled to the old pocket doors on the far wall and pushed them wide. Beyond the thick walls, worn stain and gouged wainscot welcomed guests to the formal dining room. Ready for eight, the solid mahogany table stool proudly on hand carved, reeded legs. Beside the bay windows, a matching buffet complete with a wide, oval mirror and rosewood inlays awaited crystal bottles filled with port and brandy. Between twin hall doors, the empty hutch cried out for platinum-edged bone china and silver candlesticks to fill the empty shelves encased in its diamond mutins.

“I had to strip the cushions from the chairs,” you explained, resting your hand on the glossy table. “But the wood cleaned up nice with some mineral spirits and paste wax.”

Serenity shot you an incredulous look. “You've been watching too much ‘This Old House’.”

“It’s only $10 a quart at the hardware store. Way cheaper than a new table.”

Your companion rolled her wrist and beconked you to her. “Show me your hands.”

You cringed, holding out dry, peeling fingers.

Her eye twitched. “That’s it. After we finish this tour, I’m gonna drag your scaley self to Sally's Beauty.” She ripped her phone out of her pocket, furiously thumbing the keyboard. When the signal lit up with one bar, she snarled. “If there even is one in this podunk town.”

You shrugged. “It’s a well water and septic world out here.”

Gripping her head, Serenity groaned. “I’m buying you a Brita filter. Asap.”

Heading down the long foyer, you made a sharp turn onto a narrow, walnut trimmed staircase. The dark, hand carved banister wobbled in your grip. You frowned at the loose fourth baluster. Not another one! Stupid Victorian hide glue! The original carpenter did some beautiful dovetail joinings but that stuff could not handle the humid summers in this area. More and more, the only dates you seemed to go on were with Norm Abram, Titebond and wood clamps. Now… the question was should you Amazon Prime some of the original stuff for authenticity’s sake or go with the stronger, cheaper wood glue you could get at Milton’s Hardware?

Cheaper probably. Considering the cost of Mansard roof repairs, cheaper was about what you could afford.

Leading her to the creaky upper hall, you bypassed the largest of four bedrooms on the south side of the house. Serenity paused, peaking through the crack in the old, tilted door frame. You shook your head and jerked your thumb down the landing.

“I got stuck in there last week. The house shifted so much over the years that it jams on humid days. I have to sand and rehang it before next summer.”

“Stuck? With cell service this bad?” She glanced out the far window at the long, overgrown expanse of forest which blocked any sight of your neighbors. A shiver rippled down her body. “Creepy.”

You paused, shaking hand rattling the old brass knob to the northern bedroom. “Tell me about it. I’ve left a crowbar and one of those fire escape ladders in there ever since.

Past the solid, double hip door sat a time capsule to the late nineteenth century. The original oak floors had yellowed with age but even the home inspector was impressed by their lack of seam gaps. Overlooking the front of the property, late 2000s double hung bay windows (a testament to the seller’s half-finished remodeling) encircled a small sitting area near the original coal burning fireplace. After hours of fighting with cast iron grating and a stubborn chimney flue, you’d managed to seal out the worst of the draft. The elegant brass chandelier surrendered its tarnish after two hours of polishing, leaving it capped with a luxurious glow every time the sun peeked through the gauzey Walmart curtains. Unlike the worn examples downstairs, dark wallpaper with golden peony blooms looked untouched by the years.

You flopped onto your new, plastic wrapped mattress and stretched your hands wide. “Behold! Antiquey expensive stuff!”

Serenity’s jaw dropped as she took in the six part, solid mahogany bedroom set. As lovely a red as the day it was made, each piece of satin smooth craftsmanship testified to its owner's fortune. Capped in gothic embellishments and trimmed with burr wood inlays, the queen sized bed looked more like a cathedral than a sleeping space. A marble topped, tiered dressing table with dangling pewter drawer pulls stood ready for silver backed, boar bristle hair brushes and ambergris scented perfumes. You could hide four bodies in the massive armoire. Deep dresser drawers would hold six full skirted walking costumes with ease. Loveliest of all, the free standing, body length mirror reflected your companion’s flabbergasted gawking.

She pointed to the tall, narrow door. “Ho-how’d they even get this stuff in this room?!”

You snickered, rising to your feet. “That era was all knockdown furniture,” you explained, turning the dressing table around. Tracing the dovetail seam between top and bottom, you tapped your temple. “Not like they wanted to haul all this stuff up the stairs anymore than we would.”

Serenity whistled. “Smart.”

“Oh! I almost forgot!” You dashed across the room to the six foot tall secretary desk and pulled down the writing table. In the center cubby, a luscious painting of olde English foxglove, Narcissus, and Lily of the Valley graced the Purpleheart inlays. You turned the small brass key in the latch and extracted a yellowed, black and white photograph of two children and a pudgy Pembroke Welsh Corgi. “Meet Mon, Tenko, and Hana Shimura.”

Your friend studied the picture. Hana, decked in high pigtails, stood solemnly in her dark pinafore and pristine, lacey apron. Tiny lips smashed in a thin line hinted at her efforts to control her smile. Under a messy flop of black hair, Tenko’s bright eyes gleamed with delight as he forced the Victorian portrait frown while clutching his new puppy.

“Hold up,” Serenity demanded, tapping the picture with her long, lavender nail. “Aren’t those Japanese names?”

You nodded, returning the old photo to its hiding spot. “I think so.”

She crossed her arms. “Japan had its borders forced open by Perry in 1854. We’re supposed to believe some super rich Japanese family just packed it up, moved to Gilded-Age America, learned the language, and built a mansion in the middle of Podunk, USA just a few decades later?” Jabbing an annoyed figure at the elaborate plasterwork around the chandelier, she added: “Possible, but unlikely much?”

You shrugged. “Deus ex machina?”

Serenity clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes. “I guess, but it’s a terrible one, even for a smutty fanfic.”

“Eh… it’s Halloween. Gotta get our fix somewhere,” you replied, kicking the cotton batting. “Help me get this on the bed?”

Bustling to your side, your companion tore through the thin plastic. “So… which one of the Shimuras burnt the house down?”

“I think it was the dad,” you explained, hefting the edge of the mattress above the bed frame. “Might have been rich, but rumor has it he was a perfectionist and family beater. According to the librarian, local gossip was that, after he killed the kid’s dog, the wife tried to take them and leave.”

Serenity grunted as she swung her side up and over. The mattress flopped into place with a woosh before sinking down into the platform base. “Yeah, bet a man like that doesn’t take too kindly to his favorite punching bags up and walking away.”

You scoffed. “Anyone who hurt Mon-chan deserves to burn.”

All at once, your hackles rose. Pricked ears caught the tail end of a distant cackle. You whipped around scanning the room.

“What’s up?”

Rubbing the back of your neck, you shook off the feeling like a wet dog. “N-nothing. Just swore I heard a…” Your voice trailed off as you fixed your gaze on the old looking glass before glancing to the window. “Weird…”

“Hey!” Serenity grabbed your shoulder. “Don’t be pulling that ‘I thought I saw something’ nonsense when I’ve gotta sleep here tonight!”

You laughed and threw up your hands in apology. “Sorry, sorry. Just caught a glint of sunlight in the mirror. That’s all.”

Inside the glass, body shaking with laughter, Tomura’s pale hand clamped tight over a skeletal grin.

Part II coming Saturday October 22nd, 2022

Taglist:

@THE-LADY-WRITES-WHAT @wonwoosbestbuddy @OCEON6 @dabisqueen @shig-a-shig-ah-ah @feral-creep @bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-loveuet-love @smilinghowever @imaginedheroine @CLOUDS-NO1-FAN @MOONTHECREATOR @HARLEYWRITESFANTASY @MANJIROSGIRL @vamperilous @MADDY-HAT @cakernofakers @builtd-different25 @kurtasim @shiggyniggy @koreluvsspring @smilee-spooks @beware-thecrow

@m0nim0ni @minnieplier-blog @blehitsriot @moonwad @saikis-seceretcoffeejelly @nainainairi @bakuhoe37 @un-deadinsomniac @nonominchan @utena-akashiya @molita111 @nekolover93 @pimp-in @slaughterbat777 @chxrryvibes @blackchemicals @coldsaladpiecop-blog @flamme-meuf2-shiggy @aphorditeslust @just-yer-average-key @rekoii @justnothingguys

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gustingirl · 3 years ago

Text

gvf headcanon | your first time

requests: Hello I was wondering if you could’ve do some head cannons for your first time. If your comfortable with that off course though please

warnings: smut (sam's a bit more descriptive so have this in mind)

josh.

i start with josh because i once wrote something about this, and i'm gonna bring it back. my assumption is he respects you deeply, and will literally never push you. yes, touch is essential for him, and we know in these boys' minds sex lives rent free. but it's you we're talking about, and he probably will wait for you as much as you need. when the moment comes, he will let you decide everything; when to start, when to stop, what you want to do. i'm not exactly talking about your very very first time, but he wants you to have a beautiful memory of your first time with him, and he will allow it by giving you the space and time you need (this way he will also be able to learn about the things you like and don't, and your limits too)

bringing back the scenario i once had, i imagine the night going like this: what having sex implies is getting naked. and that is not easy for anybody, as it wasn't easy for you. you had your own opinions on your body, and the idea of your boyfriend seeing you naked for the first time had you biting your nails with anxiety growing up. the moment had been settled so perfectly you barely even noticed, but the second josh tried taking a piece of clothing off, you pushed him slightly, feeling ashamed all of a sudden. he worried abruptly, afraid of having crossed a line. you reassured him he did nothing wrong, that it was your own thing. then josh had an idea; he would get naked first, so you could feel better about it yourself later. he took off all his clothes within seconds and sat in the bed, waiting for you to do the same thing. you took your own time, taking it piece by piece slowly. josh's eyes were filled with sparkles, as his mouth hung open. he was glancing at every part of your body in awe, as if he was staring at a masterpiece for the very first time. his expressions made you feel better, which hurried the process of getting naked. when you least expected it, josh reached out his hands to grab your body, getting on his knees as he kissed your legs and abdomen.

"god, you're so beautiful" you felt your soul leaving your body as josh's low voice echoed through the room. his hands were gripping your body like he could fall if he let go. you held his head against your body, letting his wet kisses cover your skin "you're a work of art, my love. you're my work of art, mine only" now his eyes were nailed on yours, and the sight of josh kneeling for you, with such an innocent yet hungry look on his eyes that was driving you insane with each second passed.

jake.

he's all about making you remember this night for the rest of your life. if he was lucky, this was not going to be the last time you two had sex. but, he wanted this night to be the top one, the one you would always bring back as a favorite memory. and he's all about making you feel good; forget about him, this night is only about you and making you feel satisfied.

the night started with a lovely but not so sofisticated dinner. something normal, sweet but chill. he had prepared good dishes and had served his best wine, not before decorating the room behind your back. he had invited you over, and had been nothing but pure sweetness, devoted to you and you only. you felt like royalty, letting him do all the work. when the dinner was over, he moved the glasses of wine to the couch so you could continue the conversation. as the mood had been already settled, he let his hand slid to your leg, caressing the skin and gripping every once in a while. his eyes were eating you out, hungry for you. it was evident he was no longer listening to you, and you felt like touching the sky right there. without much more introduction, you let him do his magic; it started with a kiss that soon turned passionate and eventually, clothes were taken off. once only underwear was left, jake requested to continue (and finish) in the bedroom. he kept on praising you, filling your body with love and kisses as he carried you to his bed.

"i'm gonna make you feel so good, baby" you murmured into your ear, making you moan from just those words "i'm gonna mark you up and you will literally never forget this night. i'll make you mine, my sweetheart. i'll make you mine" it felt like a movie, as jake put you down quite roughly, before climbing on top and starting the action.

sam.

why do i feel like, with sam, it wouldn't be as special? like he wouldn't exactly search for a perfect moment nor he would be desperate for it. like, if it happens, awesome. and when? it doesn't matter. where? not important at all. like sam would be ok with doing it whenever you feel like to but wouldn't exactly be waiting for the moment. i even feel like your first time would be out of horniness and adrenaline.

you know what? your first time was in his car. you had spent the entire fucking day just teasing each other with ass squishing, sneaky love bites, stolen kisses and more. you were spending the day with him and his friends, so these little criminal acts were just turning both of you on without being able to do much about it. when the night arrived, sam decided it was time to go home. never once you expected for him to be as horny as you were and, when he parked the car near your place, you couldn't help but climb to his lap, attacking him as punishment for the illegal touching he was doing in front of his friends. the moment came so sudden, you couldn't even process it, as sam was taking your top off and biting all over your chest. neither of you wanted to lose time, and he slid inside of you as fast as possible, driving you to ride him as you too attached your lips to his neck. it was over before you could think about it, as you two were too needy to hold it in more. however, you stayed in that place, with sam still deep inside you, processing what just happened.

"fuck, that was good" he exhaled, grabbing you by the back of your neck to bring you closer to him

"we just fucked" you commented, more to yourself than to him, as you too had been wanting to do it for a while

"wow, babe, thanks, i never noticed" he teased back, winning a soft slap from you, along with a cute laugh.

he laughed as well and kept you as close to him as possible, not wanting to let go and move on from this amazing yet spontaneous moment.

danny.

baby boy over here would be head over heels for you, and would definitely wait for you to make the first move. i feel like same thing as sam, he wouldn't be desperate to fuck. he prioritizes other things like first kiss, good dates, make you feel loved. like sex is definitely not something he's needing but he would be down for it the second you asked. also, and quite important, i feel like he would actually tell you, something like "i'm ready when you're ready".

so it went down like that. you had decided to travel during the weekend, a little getaway with your boyfriend. he knew you needed a break from the world and so, he let you decide where to go. you wanted the beach and the ocean so you found this little house near the shore. it was paradise; waking up to the sound of the ocean, the smell of sea salt and by your beautiful boyfriend. the first day consisted of swimming and sun bathing, but the night was something else. right as you had finished a quick dinner, you began making out, the sun dropping while you two were feeling each other's bodies. when you were needing for more, you let him know right away.

"i need you" you voiced with hunger evident in your tone, making danny pull away from your neck to lock eyes with you

"you sure? there's no hurry" he reassured, his hands still traveling around your body

"no, please, danny, i need you so badly"

that was all he needed to remove your clothes and his in seconds, to later proceed to make love to you in the most tender yet passionate way ever, making this moment the most memorable for you

#greta van fleet #greta van fleet headcanons #greta van fleet headcanon #greta van fleet x reader #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #jake kiszka #josh kiszka x reader #jake kiszka x reader #sam kiszka x reader #danny wagner x reader #gvf #.gvftxt #greta van fleet smut #josh kiszka smut #danny wagner smut #sam kiszka smut #jake kiszka smut

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takemebacktowheniwassane · 3 years ago

Conversation

Oh, Incorrect Quotes Generator

Alana: Anyone d-

Connor: Depressed?

Jared: Drained?

Evan: Dumb?

Alana: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

This one's a bit more?? Um?? Non-kid friendly TTvTT

Zoe: Guys, is having a penis fun?

Connor: It has its ups and downs.

Evan: It's gets a little hard sometimes.

Jared: IT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS!

Zoe: Jesus fuck, you guys.

Evan: You're a loose cannon, Jared.

Jared: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon, maybe. But a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Alana: I think you play by your own rules.

Zoe: No way, he thinks rules were meant to be broken.

Evan: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Jared: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Connor is the real loose cannon.

Connor: *Smashes a chair*

Evan, trying to convince Connor to join the group: You know... I just thought it'd be good to have someone to come along who's... strong!

Alana: And loud!

Zoe: And grumpy!

Jared: And oblivious to reality!

Connor:

Alana: What did you guys get in your yearbooks?

Zoe: 'Prettiest smile!' :)

Evan: 'Nicest personality!' :)

Jared: 'Most likely to start a bar fight.'

Connor: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one.'

Zoe: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Evan: Tubular AF!

Alana: Mood to the max!

Connor, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Jared, just as annoyed: If she breathes she's a square.

Evan: You KIDNAPPED Connor?! That's illegal!!

Jared: But Evan, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Connor, or destroying our dreams?

Evan: Kidnapping Connor, Jared!!

Zoe: Evan, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these people need you to inspire them!

Evan: What, to KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!

Zoe: To work together!

Evan: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!?!?

Jared: Evan, I thought we both agreed, a stoner is not a people.

Alana: Evan, stop! This isn't you! You've gone mad with power!

Evan: Well, of course I have.

Evan: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Evan: It's boring.

Evan: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--

Jared: What was that??

Evan: Remorse code.

Jared: I'm even angrier at you now.

Connor, high off his ass: I'm at least 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

Evan: But 10 times 0 is just 0.

Zoe: Then I guess the jokes on you, because he can't do math.

Jared: I can explain.

Evan: Can you?

Jared: If you give me 30 seconds to think of a lie.

Jared: If you were to vacuum up jello, it'd make a neat noise.

Evan: I beg to differ.

Jared: Then beg.

Jared: This is such a bad idea.

Evan: Then why are you coming along?

Jared: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this all goes terribly wrong.

Connor: *Accidentally hits Jared in the face*

Connor: *Can't decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry', and 'Are you okay'*

Connor: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY??

Evan: What is wrong with you?!

Evan: This is bothering me.

Jared: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Evan: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

Jared: You're the love of my life, and my best friend. I would do anything for you.

Evan: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Jared: Absolutely not.

Jared: I was arrested for being too cool.

Connor: The charges were dropped due to lack of supporting evidence.

Jared: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Evan: You and me.

Jared, tearing up: Okay.

Jared: God, give me patience.

Connor: I think you mean strength.

Jared: If God gave me strength, then you'd be double dead.

Connor: I prevented a murder today.

Alana: Really? How did you do that?

Connor: Self control.

Jared: I am not out of control! I am a law abiding citizen!

Evan: Name one law.

Jared: Don't kill people?

Evan: That one's on me. I set the bar too low.

Alana: Whaddaya call a fish with no eye?

Jared, not looking up from his phone: Myxine Circifrons.

Alana:

Alana: A fsh

Evan: I turned out perfectly fine!

Zoe: This morning you thought a ghost made your toast!

Evan: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN, Y O U DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN-

Jared: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE

Evan: Anything, honestly. But nerds especially.

Jared, desperately as Evan bleeds out: YOUR B L O O D TYPE

Evan: Oh! B positive.

Jared: DON'T TRY TO CHEER ME UP, JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Evan:

Evan: It's dark in here...

Jared: Don't worry dude, I've got this

Jared: *Stomps his foot on the ground*

Jared: *Heelies light up*

Evan: Treat spiders the way YOU want to be treated!

Jared: Killed without hesitation.

Alana & Evan, simultaneously: nO-

Miguel: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Connor: Okay?

Miguel: And make out during the scary parts.

Connor: The-

Connor: The scary parts-

Connor: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

Evan: Can you PLEASE be serious for 5 minutes??

Jared: My record is 4, but I think I can do it.

Evan: So that's my plan.

Jared: Are you fine with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.

Evan: Sure, go ahead.

Jared: It fucking sucks.

Evan: That's not constructive criticism.

Jared: Fuck.

Alana: We've got to work on your cursing.

Jared: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

Connor: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Evan: What did you do-?

Connor: A MISTAKE-

Larry, with his back turned: I've been expecting you.

Connor: How did you do that without turning around?

Larry: I'm gonna be honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Evan: How petty can you get??

Jared: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Jared: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Alana: Aren't you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Jared: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

Jared: May I sit there?

Evan: That's my lap.

Jared: That doesn't answer my question, Evan.

Jared: So.. are we flirting right now?

Connor: I'm LITERALLY stabbing you.

Jared:

Jared: That does not answer the question

Aftermath of the last one- lmfao-

Evan: I'm begging you, please go to the hospital-

Jared: Oh, i'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Jared: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Connor: Do you mean literally or figuratively?

Jared: The fact that I have to specify...

Evan: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Connor: Oh, you've been?

Evan: Once. In Monopoly.

Evan: Your right.

Jared: That's... an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Jared: Petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday.

Connor, high: Wednesay.

Jared: Not what I had in mind, but i'm flexible.

Alana: Man.. I only ever see you awake. Don't you ever shut down or stop running?

Jared: Oh, i'm always running.

Jared: The question is from what.

Evan: Top 30 reasons why Evan is super sorry! ..Number 5 might surprise you!

Jared: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!

#deh dearevanhansen evanhansendeh connormurphydeh jaredkleinmandeh alanabeckdeh migueldeh zoemurphydeh larrymurphydeh kleinsen #conman kleinphy incorrectquotes lol

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ultraclops · 4 years ago

Text

Semi-Live Blogging: Finale Time!

With reaction images this time!

Adoradad

TRAINING EXERCIIISE

Adorabat's practicing her screaming! Bet that's gonna come in handy later.

"Fneh!" Wow what an introduction Eugene

His design is like? Really cool?? He looks practically nothing like Adorabat tho. And why does he have a spade on his stomach instead of a heart??

Badgerclops drew him with a giant ass mustache lol.

Adorabat takes banjo lessons? More importantly, Eugene thought she was at a banjo lesson FOR 8 MONTHS?!

"She scares me" lol

Adorabat ran away from home? Why?

"I thought you were a ward of the state!" Remember when everyone thought Adorabat was an orphan? Yea.

"I thought you were my conscience!" Badgerclops...you've lived with Adorabat for a year...went to her school...AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A PIECE OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS?!

...why did Badgerclops use Adorabat as monster bait...

I expected to hate Eugene but he's actually really cute and interesting?? Aside from the fact he thinks Mao Mao & Badgerclops are criminals. Love to see him again sometime!

Wow her dad has a whole badass mansion!! Why doesn't she just stay there...

Oh...her mom died...that's why he's so protective of her and was so upset when she left. Also her mom looks amazing & I wanna see a flashback episode with her. For some reason I can imagine her sounding like a deeper version of Scoops?

Aww Adorabat's room is super cool! Also Eugene cracking the door for her asfgjkl

"Do you think that monsters attacking the city are gonna - wait, does that have peanut butter in it? " (Cuts to MM & BC eating ice cream while crying) That's a perfectly rational reaction to losing your adoptive daughter

"I can keep it together!" (Cut to Mao Mao trying and failing to shovel ice cream in his mouth with his helmet on) NSADGEDHAMADH

Wait a second. Mao's eating mint chocolate chip ice cream. ISN'T CHOCOLATE TOXIC TO CATS?!

"But you said I was part of the team!!" "Then you're...off the team."

Adorabat crying while showing Eugene the picture OUCH MY HEART...

"I used to go exploring in those caves with Mom all the time..." I'm guessing those are the caves from the promo?

"She wasn't afraid of anything!" " Well Adorabat definitely takes after her mother...

"And then one day, Sonara didn't come back with you." Ooh her name's Sonara!! Pretty!! I can't tell if they chose it cuz it sounds like Sonar or because it means "pleasant sounding"

Glad to see Adorabat's still a die-hard metal fan, even with Eugene

Oof Mao isn't taking this well at ALL if he's pretending Adorabat's molt is her...

OOH SHIT ADORABAT RAN OFF TO THE CAVES - wait a minute no she didn't. OH NO EUGENE WENT TO THE CAVES

Ooh there's Sonara's looking glass, bet that's gonna be important

Yay Adorabat saved her dad!

Damn Adorabat must be super traumatized after basically watching her mother die. No wonder she tried to murder Boba-Chan!

Oh the only way to stop the monster is by screaming!

(Mao Mao hears Adorabat scream) "ADORABAT?!" ADOPTIVE DAD POWERS ACTIVATE

Ooh her mother's figure appears over her when she says she's not afraid of anyone...maybe her spirit's inside of her or something?

REVENGE TIME BAYBEY

HOLY SHIT ADORABAT FUCKING MURDERED THAT THING

Eugene & Adorabat both apologized to each other I...

"You can't just leave without the most fearless member of the group!" YAAY ADORABAT'S BACK (Also how are we gonna explain to Eugene Adorabat's scared of the dark?)

"I'll mess 'em up real good! So good, their mommies and daddies won't be able to recognize them when I'm done..." Daaammmnnn...

"She scares me :)"

I wonder...is Sonara really dead? Or are they gonna pull a Kipo & have her still be alive but in a different form?

Badge-A-Fire explosion

Uhh...where is Badgerclops? And why is Mao Mao on the top bunk?!

Of course Badgerclops is petty enough to install a fake monster alarm on his laptop to wake Mao Mao and Adorabat up.

"This is a super-serious work meeting, as you can see by the fact that I haven't provided any snacks!" No snacks?! This must be a serious issue!! /s

"As you know, I am a creative genius. Sometimes there's so much natural creative genius that my brain overloads, and I enter a heightened state that I call 'Ultra Focus'..." Oh so basically like hyperfixation?

"...where I break into a creative sprint, inventing super-advanced technology at supernatural speeds, unparalleled by anyone in the entire field of science." Okay maybe only a LITTLE bit like hyperfixation...wait a second, IS THAT WHY BADGERCLOPS IS SO TIRED ALL THE TIME?!

Uhh did he get his arm stuck in the front door? HE TOOK THE AEROCYCLE?!

"...I forget everything the next morning." Remember my headcanon that Badgerclops represses his memories? Yea...

"Which is why it's not my fault and I don't think I should be criticized :D" TBH I screamed with laughter at this scene solely because of the expression he made

...HE GAVE THE SKY PIRATES THE GEM CELL?! I mean he clearly wasn't thinking right when he did it BUT STILL?!

"Oh hey, I told you I'd use that weird elevator thing!" Dude you LITERALLY used it in Ultraclops. What are you talking about.

"If the Sky Pirates had the Gem Cell, they would've used it already!" That is a fair point ngl.

Umm...did Badgerclops give Adorabat a BOMB?!

Tbh if my friend woke me up in the middle of the night with weird-looking eyes and handed me a timer while saying something about an explosion I would DEFINITELY not go back to sleep afterwards...

I'm sorry, IS THE WHOLE VALLEY GONNA BLOW UP?! WHAT THE HELL DID HE MAKE?!

Mao wiping Badgerclops' tears I'm

A paper towel dispenser? Well that's not that bad - IS THAT A GIANT PAIR OF PANTS?!

Ooh it's not a shock collar it's a translator!! That makes a bit more sense... "I HAVE NO REMORSE OR CONCEPT OF EMPATHY!" ...if the monster doesn't have remorse or empathy how does it know what those words mean...

Badgerclops keeps telling Mao Mao & Adorabat not to criticize him...hmm...I wonder who criticized his inventions that made him that way...*cough* HIS MOM *cough*

"Are all your inventions this weird?!" "YOU'RE WEIRD!!"

IM SORRY DID BADGERCLOPS BUILD A DANCING MACHINE INTO MAO MAO'S BONES?! HIS BONES?! AND HE MADE ADORABAT A SECOND MEGAPEG?!

What in the absolute hell is going on dgaadhdagdadga

Okay but when Badgerclops clutched his head and started shaking when Mao Mao asked why he made those things...I FELT THAT IN MY HEART I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL

Ngl this scene really hit home for me cuz that's how I act when I have a breakdown...

The timer went off but nothing blew up - WAIT, IS THAT A REPLICA OF MECHA HOSSORAFFASNAKEARANG?!

"Initializing Totally Humane Knockout Procedure." (Proceeds to slam the Sheriff's Dept. into the ground) ajdajdgdad

Ooh...ohh they're on some sort of water park...ride...thing??

"And if I didn't want us to get out, then I made sure we couldn't...with super-strong shoe things." But there isn't any on Adorabat, can't she just squeeze herself out?

Ooh I'm getting Pirates of the Caribbean vibes

There's the Gem Cell, it must be powering the ride! Also the robotic arm slaps Mao's hand the same way Mao slaps Badgerclops' hand in Flyaway skkkk

"My amazing creativity is finally gonna destroy us all..." "Hey, at least we'll be destroyed together!" Fair point, fair point

The shoosh returneth

"I always loved inventing." So he was an inventor ever since he was little? Daww.

YOUNG BC IS SO ADORABLE!! He has a lil medical patch instead of an eyepatch which is def more accurate to real life...but what's the vest for? Protection in case he falls? A pressure stim?

That figure's def his mom since they rejected his ideas & he mentions she was mean to him. Also the theory that his mom's a villain seems a bit stronger since they straight-up hand him a tool kid + a set of blueprints with no regard to his safety...

"Also there was a bunch of other kids at school and some other people throughout my life who mocked me relentlessly." THEN WHY'D YOU TELL ADORABAT YOU COULDN'T RELATE TO HER WHEN SHE SAID NO ONE WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND?! (Also I noticed literally all the kids are other badgers, so I'm assuming Badgerclops grew up sheltered like Mao Mao did.)

So the Ultra Focus is basically a really weird coping mechanism to deal with all the abuse and bullying he went through? Holy fuckkk

"They only made fun of you because they were jealous. Happened to me my whole life!" Umm...

"Even the dance chip I surgically implanted in your brain?" Excuse me the dance chip that you WHAT

"I love you-" HE SAID IT 💗💓💗💓

"I'm finally around people who love and understand me..."

Wait did the cannon misfire? DID IT BLOW A HOLE IN THE GROUND?!

OH HE ACTUALLY DID CREATE AN ANIMATRONIC BAND?! I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE!!

"Take it away, Boss Hosstritch!" (Distorted garbling)

Oof Mao caught all the water

"We hope you all enjoyed being Badgerclops' friend." 💞💕💞💕

Not that anyone cares but I noticed there's a picture of some of the Sweetypies on the monitors, meaning 1. Badgerclops tested it out using them first, or 2. Badgerclops just likes those Sweetypies for whatever reason. Tho that makes me wonder why he'd choose Pinky of all people...

THE SKY PIRATES WERE INSIDE THE ANIMATRONICS THE WHOLE TIME?! THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTE

Zing Your Heart Out

Why are they giving out rotten sushi??

"HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME EATING SOMETHING GROSSLY?!"

Ooh god Chester's gonna be super freaking annoying in this episode, I can feel it.

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!" BAYBEY

Jesus what a prick. GET HIM MAO MAO

Ngl that background's really pretty...

Oooh no the Ruby Pure Heart's being weird again. Ooh no.

FUCK YEA ROAST HIM BABY - Did Adorabat's eyes turn purple because the Ruby Pure Heart gave her powers?

Oh so the siren in Badgerclops' robo-arm is a backup monster alarm?

More Sky Pirates - and the Pure Heart's being weird again...

"I'd tell you but despite your height it'd go right over your HEAD!" Asdfgghjjk

"For someone with two brains, you're not very BRIGHT!" EVEN BETTER

Kevin said he was raising money for a school trip, then for a trip to the hospital...which one is he raising money for?!

"SILENCE PANCAKE, LEST YE BE BUTTERED"

OOH NO SHE ATTACKED MAO AND BC

"IT FEELS LIKE THE WEIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND PLANETS!!"

"One second, I'm getting mad, and the next thing you know-" Is she freaking possessed??

Wait, is the Pure Heart TALKING to Adorabat?! How?!

Cluckins you don't ask people what's wrong with their eyeballs...even if there is something wrong with their eyeballs

"I CAN'T FEEL MY SELF-RESPECT!!"

The pure 'oh shit' on Marion's face when Adorabat turns to her

Half of the people she insulted showed up to her party! Didn't that mean she loved them?!

Oh god not this bitch again - nvm, thanks Adorabat

"Taking over the castle and ruling Pure Heart Valley forever does sound nice..." This is starting to remind me of that one AU where Adorabat turns evil, becomes the ruler of the Sky Pirates, then convinces them to kill Snugglemagne and becomes the queen of Pure Heart...she isn't gonna kill Snugglemagne, is she?

What did Adorabat tell Snugglemagne?! I WANNA KNO

Why is Pinky stealing teeth...reminds me of this

NO BC DON'T EAT THE TEETH

"I...hate myself! Therefore, I'm invincible!" So the trick to not getting your ego destroyed...is to not have an ego. Sounds reasonable.

"Your bug platter, my king?" Genderfluid Adorabat rights

"Mao Mao, your head looks like a CROW!" (Mao Mao caws) IT WAS A LIE HE ISN'T A CAT HE WAS A CROW THIS WHOLE TIME-

"It looks like a half-melted ice cream cone!!" That is...a strange way to describe your own neck...

"Well, I'm...bad (◡‿◡)" Kinda weird that the canonically depressed character can't even cleverly insult himself

...why does Adorabat's skin smell like old cantaloupe

OH SHE IS POSSESSED!!

HOLY SHIT MAO WAS GONNA FUCKING MURDER ADORABAT TO SAVE THE KINGDOM?! THANK GOD HE SAW HER JOKE BOOK, HOLY SHIT

Positivity outweighs negativity!

"WHERE DOES A 800 POUND GORILLA SIT?!" "Where ever it wants!◝(⁰▿⁰)◜" Curse you for making me laugh...

OOH NO THE JOKEBOOK! - Wait nvm Mao remembers Adorabat's jokes!

I think the reason they used that joke is because it represents Mao Mao and Adorabat - Adorabat is blue, and she wants to be like Mao Mao, who wears red. What is BLUE, and smells like (is similar to) RED paint?

YAAAY HE BROKE HER FREE FROM MIND CONTROL!! And did BC get Thanos snapped in the background?

"Thank goodness you're alright! We almost..." Fucking murdered you? Yea

"Might we have our crown and kingdom back, yes?"

"Sorry for being such a monster today." "You're a monster everyday." Is that a joke because she was today's villain, a reference to Sleeper Sofa or foreshadowing?

I hope Mao Mao and Badgerclops decide to investigate what's up with the Heart in Season Two, cause I highly doubt they'll let Adorabat getting fucking possessed go under the radar.

The visual gag of Mao trying to stomp out his ice cream cone like a cigarette is perfect. This is peak comedy everyone else go home

WHOOP CHESTER'S ASS GUYS

Strange Bedfellows

"So, your name is Boss Hosstrich, but you're not actually the boss?" How long did it take him to realize that

JFC Mao & Orangusnake are REALLY hellbent on killing each other huh...at least the deputies and the other Sky Pirates have common sense.

Hahaha nice Dragon Ball Z reference - and they both got crushed by the monster! Lovely.

...did Mao seriously think he died and went to heaven?

So does Orangusnake breathe through Tanner or do they both breathe independently & Coby can feel when Tanner can't?

Dang those skeletons remind me of the Steven Universe Future episode Growing Pains. And why is Lucky inside of Orangusnake? "THAT WAS MY LUNCH, JERK!" Ooh that's why.

"They're full of these tiny, little cracks or, as they're known in the medical field, 'whoopsie-boo-boos'." AGSADGASGADGDASG

Damn their skeletons are just gonna freaking evaporate huh...

"The doctor said I was very brave :D"

Ooh shit the Deputies and the other Sky Pirates met at the same elevator, are they gonna fight - nevermind, they're still calling time.

JESUS CHRIST ARE MAO & ORANGUSNAKE EVER GONNA STOP?!

"You don't have the guts!" "I have a million guts." That is...mildly concerning

"Yeah, I wanted to be a baker, before I realized I liked hurting people so much." Then why doesn't she just like, help Muffins or something?

Tbh I thought Ratarang was holding a gun and I'm glad it was just a weirdly wrapped banana

CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME.

"Aww, y'all shouldn't have - this is empty." "Just like my heart when you injure yourself!!" He loves him sm...💓💓

"Why didn't you bring me weapons?!" "Because this is a hospital, and I'm a good boy (◡‿◡ )"

"I really feel like this could be a turning point in their relationship." (Mao and Orangusnake proceed to try and kill each other again) *sigh*

Ngl Mao & Orangusnake constantly repeating themselves is getting super annoying.

That hospital bed beeping is giving me flashbacks to all the times I went to the hospital for seizures...

"You know y'all could live like this, like, all the time if you didn't go around hurting people, right?" "Pssh! Tsk-tsk, boy. You know I gots to hurt people." Uhh you guys should really listen to Badgerclops he knows what tf he's talking about

UUhh, whose egg is that? "MAMA" ASGagddahDh

Of course they had to land in freaking CEMENT to realize that maybe they shouldn't kill each other

Did Mao just deflate like a ballo- oh nvm there he go.

Boneless Mao. Boneless Mao.

And Mao saved Orangusnake!! By...breaking every bone in his body somehow.

"I'm the kind of hero who wants to save you so I can fight you later...at the right time and place." Just gonna file this along with the credit score scene from Perfect Couple in the 'Orangumao' folder.

Is Badgerclops duct taping Mao to the stretcher? I mean, at least he won't move & hurt himself again but geez

Tbh Zing would’ve made a better finale than this ep. At least it had a sequel hook

#semi live blogging #semi-live blogging #//long post #// long post

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roswellroamer · 6 years ago

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Sperrgebeit Lodge (Springbok) SA to Keetmanshoop, Namibia. 4/21/19

We woke in our thatched roof bungalows after 7 to a crystal blue sky with no clouds. Greeted by the expansive horizon dotted with scrub and rocks with mountains close by. Even the pile of "Zamalik" cans from the previous nights social hour (OK, maybe 3) had been cleaned up. Continued "Western" vibe, aside from some of the vegetation you could easily mistake the scenery for parts of Arizona, for example. Barren and dramatic. Little did I know but it would be one even more barren with vegetation moving to the extremely sparse level during this day. Breakfast was prepared by the couple who run the lodge. Eggs cooked for you, bacon, sausage, the usual stuff but very good. Had to top the meal off with a "cook sister". A piece of some sort of honey or sweetened dough cooked and as I understand it is usually twisted. But these looked like small 2" human shaped dolls. Tonight there is barely Wi-Fi so I am unable to add pictures that would show this. But when I can upload pictures I will so as to give an image of this tasty treat.

We headed north toward the border and got there by 9 as it was about 118km up the road. Passed by a bunker from the Boer war with it's cannon still pointed towards the highway! There are still a lot of German (ancestry) residents and visitors here in this area. Schnitzel is a regular item on the menus. We had a relatively easy time on the SA side. The usual as per the border details from the Patagonia blog 👇👇👇. Three stops minimum, get your slip of paper stamped by police, customs, immigration and then pass. The Namibia border used to be an open border as from 1915 until 1990 Namibia (formerly South West Africa) was the de facto fifth province of SA. The Namibian dollar is tied 1:1 to the SA rand and in fact most all the change received in 🇳🇦 has been South African bills, not Namibian. This is a great area to visit for so many reasons. And on top of the natural beauty is an added bonus for Americans. The dollar is strong. It is over 14 rand to 1$. Lodging and food have seemed very reasonable. Tonight's steak (T-bone) with salad, and alcoholic drinks (multiple rounds for some) ended up costing us 200ZAR including tip. About $14. 🤗 But I'm getting ahead of myself... After we left the SA border which neglected to collect my paper slip with the diligently obtained stamps, we crossed the Oranje river into Namibia. All non-Namibian vehicles must pay a fee to enter. Since it was Easter Sunday there weren't many folks there and we couldn't have navigated the border much faster. Still it was slow taking about an hour to get everyone through. We got gas at an EnGen station just over the border with a Wimpy's inside and we planned our ride. Four of us were interested to take a 60 mile or so detour so as to visit the well known (at least in Namibia!) Fish River Canyon. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fish_River_Canyon

I was naturally in that group, so just under half our group turned left at a T junction on the unpaved road while the rest of the group rode ahead to the Canyon Roadhouse. We blasted through very well maintained gravel/dirt roads. Frankly even faster than we were running on the "tar". About 150Km/hr. At times even 190km/hr which is just nuts but for stretches these roads are in perfect shape. Of course everything you have is covered in dust from bikes ahead of you and cars/trucks passing you going the other direction. Often you are wishing for a slight wind shift to move the large dust clouds kicked up by our knobby tires ahead of you to clear the dust storm to one side or the other. When the crosswind disappears visibility can be cut to damn near zero. Caution must be exercised to avoid a surprise impact and even to stay in the tire tracks which are a bit more compressed and easier to navigate than the sandier piles in between the tracks and also in between the two lanes of travel. There was one persistent challenge today. In areas where rain would run over the road ( not terribly common in this part of the desert) there were buildups of deeper sand on the road. These would cause a squiggling maneuver between the two tires. When you're running 135km/hr and your bike starts to wiggle 6-10" side to side somewhat violently those of us not growing up on dirt get pretty nervous. I got less nervous as the day progressed mostly because I became keen to spot the telltale marks on the road and where they tended to be found in depressions. The Africa Twin seems to be a very versatile and comfortable bike, doing all I need on road and clearly extremely capable off road which is due to my observation of the guys on this ride, not from me! We made it to the pay station and bought our tickets then ran the final 10km to the rim. So worth it! Grand Canyon is deeper but this is almost as long and still very dramatic.

We have an early AM and big day tomorrow so I am gonna cut this a bit short. Rest of the day highlights included the following. Kitschy Canyon Roadhouse lunch including a loud Pandora's Box, milkshake, lots of old cars and trucks and gas pumps under thatch roofs. Coming to a river that caused one of our riders to go for a swim. That pic I was able to post 👆. The bottom of that river crossing was like glass covered in algae or moss. But no injuries and the bike was unscathed. Lovely stop complete with an assortment of long horned beasts in a zoo like enclosure and a scenic pool at the Maritz Lodge. Dinner under the thatched roof restaurant and sat outside for a while telling stories. After midnight, so good night! I got some crap from the SA guys watching me peck for two hours last night, but I still this it is worth it.

#namibia #motoadventure #advrider #southafrica #skullsinthedesert

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