#like if it's gonna be straight up fantasy or a bit more 'realistic' with like genetic mutations from their ancestors being fucking cannibal

[tecchan]

Mitsugi squatting everywhere is the only highlight of this damn game

[bread-tab]

okay random 4am rant time, don't take it too seriously, but: people need to recognize there's a difference between "bad worldbuilding" and "worldbuilding styles you personally don't like."

bad worldbuilding is, for example: internally inconsistent, bigoted, or something else that messes up the plot or characterization of the story itself. sloppy. careless.

things that are *not* bad worldbuilding:

minimalism.

i've been thinking about this in the first place because i saw a post about the Murderbot Diaries a while back (don't know who made it, don't care; this ain't personal) saying the worldbuilding in those books is bad and lazy. to me, as an avid sci-fi reader and writer, that is clearly not true. but i understood why they thought this. the series uses extremely minimalist worldbuilding which intentionally withholds a lot of detail, in a way that is consistent with the (nonhuman, robot, depressed robot) first-person POV. this could also be a feature of the author's writing style in general—i haven't read her other works—but i wouldn't bet too much on it.

the signature of intentional minimalism is that there *are* details about the speculative setting—they're just doled out very thoughtfully and sparingly. the intent is to leave you a little hungry for more. it's to make you think very carefully about the details you do have. this is best suited to stories that already have elements of psychological and/or mystery plot types. the worldbuilding you do see should still be believable, internally consistent, and have interesting implications if you think about it a bit. but you are for sure going to have to think harder to get it.

if you're not in the mood, i will concede, a minimalist style definitely comes off as a bit dry. if you are in the mood, it's relaxing.

whimsy.

this is a big one for sci-fi fans in particular. see: the constant debate about whether any particular story is "hard" or "soft" sci-fi, and whether soft sci-fi is bad, etc etc. but worldbuilding doesn't have to be realistic to be good. you're allowed to have Jedi and humanoid aliens and time travel in your sci-fi. you're allowed to have historical anachronisms and astrology and po-ta-toes in your fantasy. whether or not they're silly isn't the deciding factor on how "good" these worldbuilding elements really are.

the key thing is tonal consistency. you've got a serious high-fantasy setting with its own strict, un-Earth-like theology and magic system, and you throw Santa Claus in there? yeah, that's not gonna land well. but C.S. Lewis can get away with that in Narnia just fine. why? because the Chronicles of Narnia are whimsical children's stories with a strong Christian/Western mythological influence already, and their central conceit is a crossover between the mundane world and the magical world. of course Santa can cross over too. it's whimsical, but it's not actually random. (and if you ventured into straight-up comedy, you could get away with random too. as long as it's funny.)

the unreliable narrator.

i don't have a good example for this off the top of my head (maybe Murderbot again? idk, i'm sleepy, fill in your own) but i'll tell you how to recognize when this is done well.

by definition, an unreliable narrator has some key misconceptions about their own world. so how do you tell what's going on as a reader? how do you know the writer isn't equally confused?

you connect the dots. solve the puzzle. in practice this is similar to reading a minimalist setting—but instead of just sparse clues, you also have a boatload of red herrings. you can catch some of these misleading details by comparing them to your real-world knowledge and saying "wait, this doesn't add up." other times, the false clues intentionally trick you by subverting those real world expectations.

the trick is in the consequences. regardless of what the narrator says, their actions should still have logical consequences. there should be things going on that the POV character doesn't know about. the character will be forced to learn and adapt their narrative because of these shifting circumstances. you can catch them in a lie. the inconsistencies themselves tell a story.

...

i'm gonna stop myself there because this post is long and i oughtta be sleeping. just. this is a distinction worth making. is it really bad worldbuilding, or is it simply not the genre you're craving today? learn the difference for your own sake. you'll have an easier time realizing if a story is something you'll find enjoyable to read, regardless of its actual quality.

[eedenuwu]

oc-tober | my first few days

hello tumbo ler. i am kinda doing oc-tober this year, kinda not. i know my schedule (busy, hectic, hell) but i also know i like to procrastinate (these 3 pieces have consumed time that would've been better used for homework).

so, i'm gonna jump into it... the other 2 drawings and more info will be below the cut

day 1 | favorite oc

ok so i started off strong here... by that i mean i started with day 1!!! (on october 5). this is my favorite ever. i have never really info dumped about this one on the internet before... was gonna use this as a time to start but then deleted what i just wrote LOLL all u gotta know is that bro is stunning witterawy just look. also this oc is from the 1920s/30s/40s... most of the story i've got in my head takes place in the 30s tho 😻

day 5 | redesigned oc

see this is what i mean. i skipped from day 1 to day 5.. but this is an oc i made when i was like 12 (WAY TOO CLOSE TO 10 YEARS AGO) and he was an angsty little bugger... it used to be the case that he was a witch living on his own in a village that, like, hates him or whatever. (because he's a witch.) the townsfolk like rip his tongue out or whatever and then he couldn't speak anymore but still ran like some sort of fruit stand at some sort of market. then like the love of his life moved in and he lived happily ever after. (not true, the love of his life was a BOY so i think they both got killed.)

and wow!!! that's a lot for a 12/13 year old. i came across an OLDDD google doc that had a little bit about this guy in it. the story, as anything written by a 12/13yo, made like. extremely little sense.

so i redesigned bro in about 2022ish. gave him a name, and he's still a witch. he's still missing a tongue. the differences now include that he's AFAB, has a little friend in his head only (pictured. he is cursed) and has a twin brother now. his twin brother works as a knight and like... captured him for an insane bounty. i also gave him a little bit of plot armor... he's some sort of telepath now so he's able to get by without a tongue. instead of straight up fantasy ville, i've been doing a little research into the middle ages to figure out a more, like, realistic setting... as realistic as including supernatural things can be but believe me the story is making a lot more sense now than it did in 2015.

day 3 | old oc

so i drew this today. yes these are in order of when i drew them...

anyway in terms of when i made this one, he's not THAT old. he's a product of my highschool mind and appeared on MANY assignments as doodles.. so he was like, essentially, born in about 2016/17, but i consider him old because i haven't so much as thought about him since like 2020, MAYBEEE early 2021.

this is also making me realize i have a thing for FREAKS. every one of these ocs has something about them that makes them "less than human;" this guy's deal is that he's like.. half fish..

it sounded really cool in 2017 you have to understand this was the vibe of the time

anyway he essentially got scrapped for no better reason than i was just getting bored. like, the story i was developing for bro ALSO took place in the 1920s (dude let me tell u. prohibition era america is actually my roman empire. genuinely in every sense of the real meaning of that trend) but it was diverging too far from reality and sort of becoming an atla knockoff toward the end of my thoughts for it... so then bro at the top was born (girl on day 1) in august 2021 and the rest for this guy was history. such is the damning reality of the creative.

anyway, that's all. i have no idea if i'll keep this up, but some of the prompts have genuinely given me ideas to cure my art block (I HAVE NOT DRAWN SINCE JULYYYYY) so i'm hoping to have time for more 🥲

[axvwriter]

Hello!! I saw you reblogged the oc ask game, so I'd like to ask 🎵🕑💢💔🧭�� about Bobo, please! If that's too many, then just the ones you want to do!

🎵 What would your OCs favorite song(s) be?

🕑 What time does your OC generally wake up at?

💢 What's one thing that's sure to piss off your OC?

💔 Have they ever experienced heartbreak?

🧭How easily can they find their way? Do they get lost easily?

💡 What's an idea that they once had that made others go "That's not gonna work," but it still worked?

Thank you!

🎵What would Bobo's favorite song be?

I'd say it's the first song she heard from Baentu, which I give a little snippet in Baentu's ref. Gosh I still need to set something up before I feel like I can share Baentu. Which so far is mostly resting on me actually designing the man-eating beasts in the Mycelind Kingdom but I just haven't yet. (I think it's mostly because finding the refs I want takes longer now as I have to consider if what I'm looking at it ai-generated or not.)

I only have a few words of the song as I'm not musically-inclined. My idea being behind it that it's a heartbreak song but Baentu's aludes to it not really being one, just a bit of poking fun at love songs, break up songs, and such as Baentu's aroace. Don't know if I can actually get that idea across if I ever do attempt to write the lyrics. Which would be all I'd be able to do, I can only roughly read sheet music. I'm thinking it would be in the rock/metal genre with some screamo elements. (Keep in mind my grasp of music genres is kind of weak.)

Actually these two songs are what inspired/caused me to base what type of music Bobo likes. Sun Killer by Spiritbox and Promise by Voyager. (text links are to youtube videos)

🕑 What time does Bobo generally wake up at?

I actually still haven't figured out her schedule- I want to be wild and say 4 am but really I should plan out what her schedule usually looks like so I can have an actual answer.

Okay I penned up a rough idea of what her schedule could be and I hope it's not realistic and that I can fine-tune it because I have it suggesting to me that Bobo does wake up at 4am and goes to bed around 11pm. Which would be roughly 5 hours of sleep... which again we pulling into the fantasy/videogame logics as how can someone survive years of so little sleep? Adults are supposed to get at least 8 hours of sleep (unless they have lucky genetics) and anyone younger tends to need more sleep than that.

I know she's going to have several different schedules for different days too as I didn't cover international affairs, working out, fight practice, time to visit Baentu, and such. Actually I should try figuring out what all the government official positions would be and that might help me better fine-tune her schedules. I know I have ideas for their being councils to handle certain parts of the government.

Twst Bobo should take advantage of her situation and let herself get more sleep but she doesn't want to struggle with fixing her schedule if she ever does get back home. Plus she can use all the free time for studying (like geez Grim and MC must have terrible grades as surely it's like them skipping middle school and going straight to high school) and for getting to try things she never had time for before. Like woodcarving, painting, and with some outside encouragement, video games.

So uh, tldr: Bobo has a habit of waking up at 4 am.

💢 What's one thing that's sure to piss off Bobo?

Poking fun of the people from her kingdom. Trying to suggest that her kingdom isn't made up of humans or that they're all freaks. Along with just not taking the threats her kingdom faces all that seriously. Calling her a child, immature, someone incapable of running a kingdom. Also just disrespecting boundaries, whether that be her own or the others' around her. She's also a sore loser.

For example, Twst Bobo will snap if someone won't stop trying to touch her face. Most likely this type of provocation will cause her to physically lash out, whether that just be slapping a hand away or trying to squeeze someone's fingers with the idea to break them before snapping out of it. I know already that when it comes to VDC, Bobo cries out of anger that NRC loses. She's quite loyal so despite thinking the song Vil commissioned is generic and lame, that's her team! Bobo then holds a grudge against Neige, but I can't see her actually lashing out at him as he's depicted as so nice. So she'd probably just come off as grumpy in Neige's presence.

Basically Bobo has a temper that can flare up when it comes to pitting herself and those she cares about against something/someone else. Otherwise she tends to be able to keep it under control. If her temper breaks, she's usually able to reclaim control over herself rather quick. Usually she attempts to deal with her anger when she works out. Sometimes she gets way too invested in competitions and losing will upset her greatly.

💔 Have they ever experienced heartbreak?

Well I do have it planned than in her adult years that she'll probably have a few failed relationships, so I would think that counts? So she never really experienced any in her childhood. The closest she got in childhood was having a little kid crush on a rock-metal idol. Which of course didn't progress further than that. Though I suppose that just covers romantic heartbreak. I've usually only heard heartbreak when speaking of romantic feelings.

She was definitely heartbroken when her parents suddenly died when she was just eight-years-old. I think I have heard heartbreak being used in terms of familial bonds. Bobo had nightmares for quite a while when they died and actually couldn't sleep without a couple of plushies too. I haven't decided if the plushies are bats or goats. Eventually she did stop having nightmares but it took a little longer for her to no longer need the plushies to be able to fall asleep.

🧭 How easily can they find their way? Do they get lost easily?

That's a bit of a tough one to answer. Bobo does like to explore when she can, but she's grown up with tech that she's never had to worry about not having a signal. Tech that's set up to alert guards to her last location if it were to die or something were to go wrong. It's hard to say she can get lost when her kingdom's version of a phone/tablet can easily guide her back.

I do want to say she won't get lost all that easily as she has a rather great memory. So she takes notes of certain landmarks to give her a vague idea of the path she's taking and thus can backtrack if needed. Though if she were to fall somewhere with no easy way back up, then Bobo could possibly get lost. Especially easier for her to get lost if everything looks the same. With her eyesight, landmarks are usually certain glowing mushrooms and/or something that stands out in color.

💡 What's an idea that they once had that made others go "That's not gonna work," but it still worked?

I have several ideas and points for what Bobo's life may be like, mostly her childhood, but I haven't thought out too many specific stories. So I don't know if she's ever had a crazy plan that worked out. I feel like characters that are able to pull off wild stunts are usually ones that think outside of the box and/or not considered someone who thinks rationally/reasonably.

I'd like to think Bobo is quite reasonable. Even if she were to give an idea that causes others to doubt, she'd likely explain it until others can see what she sees. Also she likes to have others understand any of her plans so they can help correct any bits or give better ideas if they have them. If it is a wild idea that others may doubt, she might not even give others a chance to hear what the idea is.

Like the only one I can think of that counts would be the alt-route I wrote for Twst's Phantom Bride event. Bobo wasn't confident her idea would work, but she was certain that at the very least it could buy them all more time.

[findyourrp]

Heeelllloooo! I'm gonna get straight into this as I am both excited and a little anxious.

This is an extremely long shot, but I'm looking for a few things, namely a roleplay BASED on either Life After Beth or Grease. BEFORE YOU SCROLL; if you haven't watched either that's fine because I can either explain it or you don't even need to watch it because I can give a general idea of what I want. I'm not looking for a roleplay set in the universe but rather inspired by it, but if you want to do a Fandom rp on it I'm also happy to do that. Generally I just want romance, slice of life, angst!!! I've been writing action, fantasy and all that for so long, just need some lovin' for a bit!

- I am very open minded and I'd like to think I'm VERY friendly! I often do edits for my partners of both my character and theirs! Maybe even both together? Anyway! I also do spotify playlist and generally I'd like to think I show that I genuinely care for my roleplay partner and the roleplay.

- With that being said, I'd rather you not answer this if you believe you are way too dry or just don't like talking ooc, we won't mesh well!

- Another thing, I'm copy pasting this in several places but for the places that don't have an age limit, I'm specifically looking for 18+ people.

- Here's where some of you might just be driven away. I'm M, and while I would love to double up if necessary(my specialty mayhaps?), if not doubling up in almost any case I'd be playing a male character. I feel perfectly comfortable playing a female character but I'd want to use a guy.

- If what didn't drive you away was the former, this might do it for some of you. I do Oc x Oc, Oc x cc and cc x cc BUT there's conditions to the last two. I will not do oc x cc unless doubling up because I feel it is unfair for you to get what you wish for which is your desired CC and I nothing in return. Along with this, I only do cc x cc in double ups, meaning one side has to have oc action.

- For my side I'd like MxF or MxM only if the male is feminine. I'm NOT trying to fetichize a certain demographic of men, I simply have a preference for a certain style of clothing and/or femininity. However for your side? I'll play anyone and anything in any pairing. I'll happily be the girl of your dreams!

- I'm big on this one, I'll try and summarize because this ask is already long enough! I love character and worldbuilding. I gush about it and I'm pathetically enthused with the idea of the world being more than just our characters. Likelihood is, there'll be more than just our two (or four if doubling) characters!!

- I'm literate to novella, but I don't demand perfect grammar or 4k character responses. I only ask for a minimum of 500 characters(letters-?) Per response to give me enough to work with and enough to gush about.

- I'm patient! But! I'm looking for decently active partners that'll respond atleast..I dunno? 6 times a week? If you could do much more or everyday, hell that'd be lovely. I have a life too so trust I know shit can get hectic, but I'm not looking to rp once every 3 days for 10 minutes. If you get busy though? Let me know, I wont ditch you like that!!

- Realistic fcs!

Like this and I'll reach out! We'll be roleplaying and discussing on discord!!

.

[gradelstuff]

I’m interested in what you think of her interview. I’m disappointed about him not trying to send a message about society but I feel sorry for how difficult the last act must’ve been.

About this post

Ended up being a bit long, so I put my comments under a read more ahshs

I'm also disappointed!! It felt like a cop-out to say he's not trying to deliver any messages, possibly because the social themes he did show in the story didn't work out how he wanted it to. Or maybe he thought the fantasy-esque problems he created were getting a little too realistic and decided to cut it back.

Horikoshi also could've meant that he didn't intend to deliver a message at first, but delivering a message -to the society of MHA- is what ended up happening (not for RL though, ig). But that is an issue in itself, since so far Hori hasn't left any impactful messages in the MHA world at all (at least no messages from the villains, who imo tried to voice many important issues in current hero society).

I don't think Hori's statement absolves him of anything either way. Horikoshi put themes in his story that he had to deliver on, and he did it whether it was done well or not (depends on the reader's opinion tbh). With 2 chaps left we're just gonna have to wait to see how he wants to handle the MHA-verse and whatever message is left in it and we have to remember its totally unrelated to RL too dhajajk

.

Ngl, I felt kind of hollow when Horikoshi said he wanted to bring his readers to tears;; It made me remember Tomura, and I did not cry or get emotional when he 'died' in the series. I was mostly confused about what happened bc it happened so fast and out-of-nowhere. I still feel like that, which sucks.

Ofc there were many moments in the series that *did* leave me emotional, like Twice's death, but that moment w/Tomura currently stands out the most to me and that's what I thought about when I first read the interview snippets.

If Tomura really did "die," then his death should've been handled better. Same w/Toga if she's gone. Dabi and Spinner did rip me apart so far though

.

Also yeah I agree about how Act 3 must've been rough for Horikoshi. I'm glad he's almost done with the series. I complain a lot, but it's obvious he was tired during many parts of the manga and needed a break. One example is when there were a bunch of blank spaces during the AFO and Yoichi backstory. or literally him just killing off 3 major villains all in 1 single chapter.

Working 36 hours straight sounds like hell, and emotionally draining. It's gonna be sad when the series ends, but at this point people would want the series to end just so Horikoshi can finally get the rest that he seriously deseves. Also Hori's editors man,, i don't know if I can trust some of the ones he talks about if im honest. Not all of them sound like great ppl

.

Horikoshi: The person who reaches out to you and pats your shoulder and tells you it’ll be okay becomes the person who saves your life. So I think My Hero Academia might end somewhere like that.

This part reminded me of AM patting deku and bkg on the back,,, which did not make me happy,,, Idk if this was also a reference to Tomura (w/izuku),,, which also made me more unhappy sjfhdsjfds 💀

And also, by this logic, didn't AFO save Tenko by "patting him on the shoulder and telling him everything will be ok"? I'm serious, isn't AFO the first person who did this 'act of kindness' in the series 😭 AFO also pat ShigAFO's shoulder a lot and told him it would all work out while they were in the cave too 💀💀💀💀 i am just so done here man

[findroleplay]

Heeelllloooo! I'm gonna get straight into this as I am both excited and a little anxious.

This is an extremely long shot, but I'm looking for a few things, namely a roleplay BASED on either Life After Beth or Grease. BEFORE YOU SCROLL; if you haven't watched either that's fine because I can either explain it or you don't even need to watch it because I can give a general idea of what I want. If not I'll be deadass, I mostly just want a romance, comedy or drama roleplay. I'm not looking for a roleplay set in the universe but rather inspired by it, but if you want to do a Fandom rp on it I'm also happy to do that. Generally I just want romance, slice of life, angst!!! I've been writing action, fantasy and all that for so long, just need some lovin' for a bit!

- I am very open minded and I'd like to think I'm VERY friendly! I often do edits for my partners of both my character and theirs! Maybe even both together? Anyway! I also do spotify playlist and generally I'd like to think I show that I genuinely care for my roleplay partner and the roleplay.

- With that being said, I'd rather you not answer this if you believe you are way too dry or just don't like talking ooc, we won't mesh well!

- Another thing, I'm copy pasting this in several places but for the places that don't have an age limit, I'm specifically looking for 18+ people.

- Here's where some of you might just be driven away. I'm M, and while I would love to double up if necessary(my specialty mayhaps?), if not doubling up in almost any case I'd be playing a male character. I feel perfectly comfortable playing a female character but I'd want to use a guy.

- If what didn't drive you away was the former, this might do it for some of you. I do Oc x Oc, Oc x cc and cc x cc BUT there's conditions to the last two. I will not do oc x cc unless doubling up because I feel it is unfair for you to get what you wish for which is your desired CC and I nothing in return. Along with this, I only do cc x cc in double ups, meaning one side has to have oc action.

- For my side I'd like MxF or MxM only if the male is feminine. I'm NOT trying to fetichize a certain demographic of men, I simply have a preference for a certain style of clothing and/or femininity. However for your side? I'll play anyone and anything in any pairing. I'll happily be the girl of your dreams!

- I'm big on this one, I'll try and summarize because this ask is already long enough! I love character and worldbuilding. I gush about it and I'm pathetically enthused with the idea of the world being more than just our characters. Likelihood is, there'll be more than just our two (or four if doubling) characters!!

- I'm literate to novella, but I don't demand perfect grammar or 4k character responses. I only ask for a minimum of 500 characters(letters-?) Per response to give me enough to work with and enough to gush about.

- I'm patient! But! I'm looking for decently active partners that'll respond atleast..I dunno? 6 times a week? If you could do much more or everyday, hell that'd be lovely. I have a life too so trust I know shit can get hectic, but I'm not looking to rp once every 3 days for 10 minutes. If you get busy though? Let me know, I wont ditch you like that!!

- Realistic fcs!

Like this and I'll reach out! We'll be roleplaying and discussing on discord!!

_

[roleplay-today]

Heeelllloooo! I'm gonna get straight into this as I am both excited and a little anxious.

This is an extremely long shot, but I'm looking for a few things, namely a roleplay BASED on either Life After Beth or Grease. BEFORE YOU SCROLL; if you haven't watched either that's fine because I can either explain it or you don't even need to watch it because I can give a general idea of what I want. I'm not looking for a roleplay set in the universe but rather inspired by it, but if you want to do a Fandom rp on it I'm also happy to do that. Generally I just want romance, slice of life, angst!!! I've been writing action, fantasy and all that for so long, just need some lovin' for a bit!

- I am very open minded and I'd like to think I'm VERY friendly! I often do edits for my partners of both my character and theirs! Maybe even both together? Anyway! I also do spotify playlist and generally I'd like to think I show that I genuinely care for my roleplay partner and the roleplay.

- With that being said, I'd rather you not answer this if you believe you are way too dry or just don't like talking ooc, we won't mesh well!

- Another thing, I'm copy pasting this in several places but for the places that don't have an age limit, I'm specifically looking for 18+ people.

- Here's where some of you might just be driven away. I'm M, and while I would love to double up if necessary(my specialty mayhaps?), if not doubling up in almost any case I'd be playing a male character. I feel perfectly comfortable playing a female character but I'd want to use a guy.

- If what didn't drive you away was the former, this might do it for some of you. I do Oc x Oc, Oc x cc and cc x cc BUT there's conditions to the last two. I will not do oc x cc unless doubling up because I feel it is unfair for you to get what you wish for which is your desired CC and I nothing in return. Along with this, I only do cc x cc in double ups, meaning one side has to have oc action.

- For my side I'd like MxF or MxM only if the male is feminine. I'm NOT trying to fetichize a certain demographic of men, I simply have a preference for a certain style of clothing and/or femininity. However for your side? I'll play anyone and anything in any pairing. I'll happily be the girl of your dreams!

- I'm big on this one, I'll try and summarize because this ask is already long enough! I love character and worldbuilding. I gush about it and I'm pathetically enthused with the idea of the world being more than just our characters. Likelihood is, there'll be more than just our two (or four if doubling) characters!!

- I'm literate to novella, but I don't demand perfect grammar or 4k character responses. I only ask for a minimum of 500 characters(letters-?) Per response to give me enough to work with and enough to gush about.

- I'm patient! But! I'm looking for decently active partners that'll respond atleast..I dunno? 6 times a week? If you could do much more or everyday, hell that'd be lovely. I have a life too so trust I know shit can get hectic, but I'm not looking to rp once every 3 days for 10 minutes. If you get busy though? Let me know, I wont ditch you like that!!

- Realistic fcs!

Like this and I'll reach out! We'll be roleplaying and discussing on discord!!

[the-shiftshop]

With The Right Tools

Today is the day I, Calvin Gander, have finally gained my motivation to make art. I’ve been stranded in this quarantine for too long that I already did everything that I can think of in my house. I’ve been wanting to make sculptures again ever since I saw tons of available limestones in my garage, but I couldn’t find my old tools so I decided to buy online. I found came across these carving tools from a shop that sells a variety of products ranging from clothes to gadgets, and they even sell food online, although it seems like nobody had came across with this store yet and I couldn’t see any reviews. But anyway, I bought them and they just came in the mail today.

Without hesitation and in pure excitement, I ran to my art studio where I have already moved my limestones to. Removing the packaging, I was surprised to see that it came with its own toolbox, a wooden box generously detailed with fantasy-like carvings that are shaped like vines, dried land, and small silhouette of men. I opened the toolbox, pulled the tools out and immediately went to work.

I used the hammer and chisel to chip off the limestone to form a shape. I have already planned out what I will be making starting today. I wanted to challenge myself in making a detailed sculpture of a man.

Throughout the whole day, I formed the limestone to a specific pose. Surprisingly, it went much easier than I expected. The tools were good in making  specific grooves and curves. Although my project still looks rough, I was able to make the specific pose that I want. All I need now is to put on the details. Most of the time when I make sculptures, it would take me a week to finish, but doing this project has been somewhat easier, having that I haven’t done something this big before. I have done the pose in just one whole day. It’s probably my artistic side kicking in, or maybe because I was just super bored, but I guess I might need to rest for a bit as well.

I left the sculpture and called it a day, but I quickly went back to work immediately as soon as I woke up. I used the smaller tools to create noticeable and very accurate details on my sculpture. I gave my sculpture a ripped musculature. It’s privates were a tucked between its legs because of the pose, but I also focused on giving it very realistic features. On its face, I made it looks like he’s breathing in air though his nose with his eyes closed and his head falling back I added bulging lines on my sculpture to give his some realistic veins, then finally I smoothen the sculpture out and finally finished my project in just a day and a half.

I took a look at my creation. Satisfied. I felt so proud that I have created this masterpiece. I never had made art this detailed. The tools really is high quality. It almost seemed like the tools had a mind of their own. I might need to give the store a great review.

As soon as I turn around to get my phone, I heard a loud crack. I rushed back to my sculpture to check where it came from. I noticed a large crack forming on its cheeks.

“Oh no!” I rambled. I touched the crack in panic, only to cause it to spread.

A chip of limestone fell off and revealed a pale, flesh-like texture inside. Is that... skin?

The cracks grew bigger and they appeared in almost every part of the sculpture, on its legs, torso, and arms, before finally covering the whole thing. The limestone gave off and all fell out, but instead of my sculpture just disappearing into crumbs, like a skin of a snake, it revealed something else inside.

“Holy... shit...” I whispered under my breath. That’s a man. A real man inside my sculpture. I moved closer to it but with extreme caution. He’s breathing. I can see his chest move in every intake of air. Like my sculpture his eyes were closed, smiling as he bask under the light entering my open studio. I moved closer and his head moved forward to face me. His eyes opened and looked at me. He lowered his legs and sat on the podium properly. I got a glimpse of his flaccid shaft and hefty balls.

“Bath” He said, in a low but monotonous tone despite him smiling.

“Huh?” I stared in confusion.

He stood up in front of me, he was struggling to stand up so I took a hold of his body. He was heavy. He was also covered in powder which made my feel somewhat dry, but damn, have I never been this close to a naked man.

“Bath” He repeated as he try to take a step forward.

“Oh.” I guided him to the bathroom in my bedroom. I did all my best to not stare at his swinging package. When we arrived, I let him go in, but he didn’t budge.

“Come” He said, pulling me with him to the bathroom.

“N-No, I don’t..”

“Help.” He said, I sighed.

I went in the bathroom with him. I let him sat down on the toilet bowl for a while. I opened the shower and tested the water, but when I asked him to get in, he pointed on the bathtub. I once again sighed and turned the shower off. I started filling up the tub with water. The room was filled with nothing but the sound of gushing water on the tub. We were silent, but he was obviously staring at me. When I looked back, he pointed to me.

“Name?” He asked.

“Calvin.” I said, moving my eye away.

“Calvin...” He went quiet for a while, then he pointed at himself. “Name?” He asked again.

“You?” I asked.

“Yu?” He said, confused.

“No, you.” I explained, pointing at him, then went quiet when I realized that this was somewhat similar to that movie. “Oh. You want me to give you a name?”. He nodded.

“No. I’m not calling you Yu. I think Shawn is better.”

“Shawn...” He went quiet again.

The tub was finally full and he immediately stood up. I caught him in my arms before he accidentally take a fall, guided him to the tub and slowly help him sink into the water.

“Help” He said.

I lifted his head and help him position himself sitting on the tub. He wasn’t really moving that much in the bath. He was just staring at me, looking like he’s waiting for me to do something.

“Help” He repeated.

I stared at him in confusion, then I got what I meant.

“N-No! I’m not gonna bathe you-”

He grabbed my arm. He was strong, but after that strong grip, he carefully moved my hand into the water.

“Bathe” He said.

I had no choice. I poured out water on him with my hands, then rubbing the powder off his body. I was touching a stranger’s naked body. More importantly, I’m giving him a bath! I continued though, washing off powders off his head and shoulders. My hand went down to his thighs, carefully avoiding his shaft. Although submerged in water, I still had to rub off the powder on his skin. I also went in between his toes, then back to his upper body. I washed away the powder on his back, feeling his heavy breaths. I grabbed his hand and guided it to his crotch.

“You clean that.” I said, he followed.

After staring at him innocently rub his shaft and balls, I tried to get it off my system by patting  his shoulder.

“You’re done.” I said. He looked back at me.

“Done.” He followed.

I drained the water before helping him carefully stand up, making sure he wont slip. I helped him step out the tub and gave him a towel. Without letting him ask for help once more, I already started drying him off. I moved away and stared at his body.

Fuck, I’m getting a hard on just by looking at him. He was once just a lifeless sculpture, now he’s a real human, naked in my house, asked for me to bathe him, and now...

I walked out the bathroom. I need to calm down. I shouldn’t be overthinking these things. I might be dreaming right now. Come to think of it I just realized that maybe I was dreaming. This must be a dream for sure, but I really need to wake up by now.

Cutting me out of my thoughts, I felt two cold arms wrap around my hips then to my chest. 

“Thankful.” He whispered.

My cheeks are burning. My cock is hard. My heart is beating too fast and I don’t know what to do but to moan. His hug went tighter.

“Reward.” He said as I feel his hand move down to grab my hard on. He was licking my neck now. My legs almost gave up as I feel the extreme pleasure go through all parts of my body.

“Shawn- S-Stop.” I said.

He really did stop, he was stuck holding my bulge and his tongue out, touching my neck.

“Let me go!” I said.

He followed, standing straight behind my back. I moved away from him and stared at him from a short distance. He’s frowning like a kid, as if he did something bad to his parents. I popped my tongue and looked at him annoyed.

“Fine. Come here and touch me again.”

His eyes lit up and walked close to my once more. His hands moved inside my shirt with his tongue licking my neck once more.

“Wait!” I commanded. He moved away from me and looked at me. “Let’s take it slower, okay?” I said.

“Slower...” He processed, then went full slow-motion in moving his arms around my body.

I laughed. “No, not like that.” I made him stop again. “Let me do the moves, okay?”

“Okay” He said.

“First, let’s sit down on my bed.” I guided him on my bed. We sat down beside each other. “Look at me.” He followed.

I moved my face near his, still hesitating for a bit, but that didn’t last long as I dive in. I my left hand moved to the back of his head and I pulled him in for a kiss. He followed suit and opened his mouth for me and out tongues touched. My right hand moved up to meet his chest. Pinching his nipples time to time. He gave me satisfying moans whenever I do this. My right hand moved down and I felt his cock rising. I grabbed on it and started stroking him. I broke the kiss for a while and looked at his face as he moan.

“You might want to remove my clothes.” I said.

“Clothes.” He reached both of his hands to my shirt and removed them. I let go of his cock first to help him, then I went back to it. He started copying me. He touched my chest, massaging them well, then had his other hand down to my bulge. I removed my hands from him and undid my shorts, pulling them off both my legs.

I pulled him on top of me. Both of my hands on his butt, guiding him to grind his cock against mine through my underpants. He continued it by himself as I place both of my hands on his face to pull him in for a kiss once more. I removed my underpants and let my cock out. I guided his his butt above my waiting shaft, then finally I pushed in.

He didn’t flinch. Instead, he gave me a long satisfying moan. He broke our kiss and straightened his back. He pushed himself down to my cock and did the rest himself. I stroked his cock as he bounce up and down, teasing the tip of his cock with its own precum. He already had released a lot and its coating the head of his cock. We switched positions. He’s now lying on his back while I do the work on fucking his ass. I moved faster as I feel myself reach my climax.

“A-Ah, Shawn. I’m gonna cum!”

“Cum...”

I grunted and moaned as loud as I can and Shawn followed suit as we finally came together. He blew his huge load on his torso, then slowly it came to stop when it nearly coated all of it. I pulled out and lied down beside him.

“Thankful” He said.

“Me too.” I replied then went in for a kiss.

[barbenheimer-core]

AUDERE EST FACERE !

하나. chanel : part one — 1.3k words

Ahyeong stared at the green wormhole outside the restaurant window that looked like it had ripped through the walls of reality itself, tuning out the low hum of the piano and the incessant chatterings of her parents discussing stock prices with the company investors over glasses of fine wine and impeccable dining.

She blinked.

It was gone.

Maybe she shouldn't have pulled an all-nighter binging True Beauty on webtoon as a reward for finishing the end-of-term exams. Lack of sleep was leading her to have vivid hallucinations.

She set her sights on her waiting dish of panna cotta instead, picking up the gold dessert spoon and scooping up an acceptable amount of the cold dish before putting it in her mouth.

"Noona," her brother, Gilyeong nudged her side, briefly scrolling his phone's screen before turning it at her direction under the table, away from the eyes of the adults.

Ahyeong, slightly confused, looked down at his phone screen, only to snap her neck as fast she could the other way.

Aish, that kid, the girl cursed under her breath, always up to ruining her mind.

Gilyeong lowly chuckled at his sister's agitated state and continued reading his horror manhwa on a mobile-reading app.

She couldn't exactly remember when, but it had become a tradition of sorts among the siblings to share the most gruesome stills of creepy images they could find to incite a satisfactory — and sometimes, rather laughable — reaction from the other.

They had a whole rating system where the degree of their flinches would determine the amount of money they had to pay to each other. Though she had to add, Ahyeong was winning in that department.

While Gilyeong found such material more often than not as he was an avid reader of any and every horror comic he could get his hands on, Ahyeong was more partial to the films and movies, only occasionally dipping her toes into physical pages.

Although she found clips and images at a slower pace than he did due to mountains of schoolwork, her contributions were usually the most disturbing (and mentally scarring) of all the others, which three times out of ten resulted in Gilyeong damaging his voice box by the magnitude of his screams.

(The neighbor had to check in once because he had thought it was Ahyeong screaming bloody murder.)

It wasn't like Gilyeong held back either. Despite being twelve, the guy had a lot of nerve in him reading all sorts of body horror. She supposed it was their mum's fault for leaving him unsupervised in the comics section at the library and Ahyeong's own for not stopping the seven-year-old from tainting his eyes. He had looked genuinely fascinated with the grotesque drawings and she had thought that it would have been nice to have someone to discuss her interests with. Her friends were hesitant to delve into "nightmare fodder" as they had called it.

She sighed, blinking away the drowsiness in her eyes as she tried to focus on eating her dessert. She couldn't wait to go back to reading True Beauty.

The restaurant lobby was as extravagant as it could've been, with rich, dark colors and gold-silver accents on every corner.

Her parents were outside, seeing the investors off while Ahyeong and Gilyeong waited for them to pick her up.

It had been over twenty minutes and they still hadn't returned. She could've rested a bit. Ahyeong tapped her foot impatiently, wincing at the sting in her foot. Standing in her stilettos for so long was doing her no good other than causing pain to her toes.

"Yah, dongsaeng, I'm gonna take a power nap, wake me up when mum and dad arrive."

She got no sign of confirmation other than a slight glance her way, and with that, she finally sunk into the couch and removed her heels.

The couch felt like a cloud, and Ahyeong couldn't help the heavy feeling behind her eyelids as exhaustion finally took over her consciousness and her eyes slowly fluttered shut, unbeknownst to the green hole in reality that formed in front of her as soon as she did.

Turn.

Turn.

Turn.

Someone was reading a book. That was what she first thought as her sleepiness faded, waking up from her nap but still keeping her eyes closed.

Maybe her brother had sneaked a copy of a comic under their parents' noses and was reading it while they were away.

Why didn't he wake her up yet? They still hadn't returned?

She was feeling more refreshed than ever and that was only possible with a full eight hours of sleep. Had a power nap finally lived up to its name?

It also smelled different. Compared to the faint scent of lavender and roses that glided through the air in the restaurant lobby, the only thing Ahyeong could register now was the steaming smell of convenience store ramen as if it was right in front of her and a rather strange note of musk from someone sitting across from her.

She furrowed her brows.

Gilyeong never put on cologne or perfume, who was it?

Snapping her eyes open, Ahyeong stilled, looking at the Gucci-clad person reading a manhwa in front of her.

She blinked.

Huh? Lee Dongmin?

Looking down at herself, she noticed her obvious change in attire, wearing Chanel trainers instead of stilettos and wide-legged pants and a cream turtleneck in place of her grey chiffon dress.

Where was she?

Awareness flooded her system, and her eyes zoomed over her surroundings to see a place she never thought she would.

Prince Comics.

The haven of horror enthusiasts.

Ahyeong contemplated. So was she in a drama? True Beauty, no less.

. . . wow, she really had been sleep-deprived, hadn't she? So much so that her obsession with True Beauty ended up with her having this extremely realistic fantasy.

Smiling faintly, she got up, alerting Cha Eu— no, Lee Suho, who went back to reading when she went to browse the collections available in the store.

So, a character from the main cast and an almost endless collection of her favorite pastime hobby?

She never thought she'd thank sleep deprivation for giving her such a wonderful lucid dream.

Suho glanced over his book to look at the girl peering at the various volumes of Uzumaki on the Junji Ito shelves.

Judging by her appearance, which screamed wealthy, she was most definitely not from around here.

He didn't recall seeing her around school or the neighborhood either.

Strange, he thought as she pulled out a copy of Shiver and sifted through it, face completely straight and not flinching in the slightest, rather, an amused smile played on her lips.

"Oh? Ahyeong! Is that you?"

His mental analysis of the new girl broke when the bookstore owner entered the lounge with a face of vague recognition, and Suho hastily returned his eyes back to reading his comic as the girl — Ahyeong, as the owner had called her, turned around with equal startlement.

TURN.

What the-?

"Wangja-ssi, it's been a while," Ahyeong smiled at the shop owner, slipping the book back into the shelf.

"Wah, you've gotten even more pretty from the last time I saw you!" Wangja exclaimed, face alight with elation at the sight of one of his favorite customers back at his shop.

She'd never seen him aside from behind a screen, what'd he mean?

Ahyeong looked abashed at the sudden compliment why was she doing that? and smiled awkwardly.

"Well, I'm here now. Our family moved to Gangnam a few days ago." She had been living in Gangnam since she'd been born, what was she saying? Why couldn't she control her actions?

"Daebak, what about your schooling? It's the middle of the year, have you found a place?"

"Oh, yeah, about that," Ahyeong grinned. She looked at Suho, who was gulping down red ginseng and not paying attention to their conversation at all, trying to signal him of the weird situation of paralysis that she was in. Was this what usually happened in a lucid dream? Her gaze locked onto Wangja's.

"I'm transferring to Saebom."

HUH!?

Suho choked on his drink.

masterlist

© 2021 Alfia Sheikh, All Rights Reserved

[sinister-faye]

One thing that bugs me above anything else in games or movies. When we are in a fantastical new realm or planet. And their moon is just straight up a copy pasted image of our moon. Like you know. The thing you all know and learn about since we are about two. You can't fool me. I know what our moon looks like.

Examples: not to be like those YouTube click bait bitches but circled below are the parts of Luna(the name of our moon, real unique I know) that match with a counterpart.

Mario Odyssey. Zoomed in on this portion of the moon.

Gears of war, bonus for having two moons buuuut. Ya just rotated the moon 90° to the right and jacked up the brightness. I can do the same in a photo editor.

I just feel like with all the amazing custom artwork you can just make a moon. Or hell use some other moons. There are a lot of moons you could also just copy and paste a pic from. Here. I found one of Charon, Pluto's....moon? (Depending on who you ask)

Awesome. Before like 5 minutes ago I knew Pluto had a heart on it, but I didn't know much about this awesome moon with a little hat on top. What a lovely fantasy, scifi, alternate world moon ya got there. Make new moons. And using our moon as a way to hint that this is our world but different is pretty neat. But ya gotta be subtle about it. Or I'm gonna get on you about that.

Bonus rant:

Side moon bullshit that authors rarely take into account: our moon is kind of crazy unique if you look at the facts.

It is absurdly perfectly aligned to have a solar eclipse so ludicrously lined up. Like holy shit, our moon is just absolutely ideal for eclipses. Most other planets would just be little spots missing from the sun or just covering it for a while. To have the corona around it is pretty god-damned wild. Any closer and the halo ring would be larger. Any further the sub would just go out for a bit.

Tides. The moon is the reason we have tides at all. So elder scrolls Skyrim talking about riding with the tides is like. Bruv, there are 3 moons. Low Tide might not be for another year. And the mere existence of some of these moons can just fuckin go away, and come back on a whim. Let alone one moon literally being up to debate. That alone would wreak havoc on the environment. Since the elder scrolls is in a perpetual Schrodinger's superposition of realistic cause and effect and mega bullshit amazing magic that can just alter reality just cuz.

And lastly I am a sucker for life sustaining moons and dead planets, star wars get bonus points every time we get a moon location, though I feel like yavin 4 would have more reddish tones from reflecting of that gas giant. But whatevs. Episode 4 was more of an indie movie.

[artbivch]

hee hee, accidentally tabbed out and lost the original chain I was following but found this bad boy by baeby-tc

1. describe your tc’s physical appearance.

As tall as me-ish, blonde, white but that slightly tanned white from going outside a lot.

2. What was the first thing you’ve ever said to your tc?

Probably “Here”

3. is your tc single or taken? or are you unsure? and are you single or taken?

Single afaik. I wish I was single sometimes, but I’m not about to break up with anyone for a crush

4. is your tc more of the athletic type, the nerdy type or the artsy type?

A little bit of all without being a lot of any. I know some nerd things about him, and he likes the outdoors, but he doesn’t seem to be super in shape and he’s not as artsy as some of the faculty—thank god

5. if you and your tc were in high school together, do you think you’d be friends?

Maybe? I’m pretty good at befriending randos who are lonely and introverted, but I have to be put in a class with them first. If we took art together then it’s possible.

6. name one song that reminds you of your tc and explain why that song reminds you of them.

Rufus Wainwright “The Art Teacher”

Need I say more?

7. is your tc fashionable or are they more of the simple type? what is one outfit you’d love to see them wear?

He wears plaid button downs with a t shirt underneath almost exclusively. I wish he’d wear more formal wear sometimes but

8. would you be willing to become a teacher and teach your tc’s subject if it meant you two could be together?

Oh absolutely, before the revenge of the crush on him, I was actually in a dual major program of art and education. I dropped the education part halfway through because I decided I don’t want to go straight into teaching when I graduate. I want to be able to explore the world and not be shackled back into the public school system right out of the gate. But also I would accept a TA position in a heartbeat

9. does your tc drink or smoke?

Don’t know about smoking or how much he drinks, but he had a beer or a cider of some sort once.

10. name one item that is always on your tc’s desk.

I haven’t seen his desk because the bastard’s never in his office, but he usually has a pencil behind his ear.

11. has your tc ever done anything that has either thrown you off, annoyed you, angered you or bothered you in any way? if so, what did they do?

He has absolutely no control over the students in the studio and what’s worse is the student he tends to hover over because he’s one of those annoying “oh I’ve never drawn before but I’m basically a prodigy out of nowhere” people. I’m not even mad at the guy for being a favorite I’m just annoyed at the fact he has the audacity to make some of the most photo realistic art within a few hours max and then leaves the studio a mess. I want to clobber this guy but I know I’d immediately get on the bad side of my tc.

The kid deserves my foot up his ass tho

12. does your tc have any past jobs that you know of, before becoming a teacher?

No clue. He doesn’t talk much without being prompted and I’m too anxious to pry out those details without being worried he’d immediately notice how desperate I am

13. does your tc have kids or siblings? if so, how many?

Pretty sure no to kids, but yes to siblings? I think he has a brother.

14. are you taking your tc’s class next year?

Yep! He’ll be my teacher for the full year and I’m gonna try to slip into his summer course post-graduation

15. has your tc ever met your parents? if you were there, what was the meeting like?

Nope and unless fantasy casually breaks into reality, hopefully he never will.

16. has your tc ever given you detention? if so, what was it like?

no but he did once tell me I was using too much of the cleaner undiluted and four months later I still feel bad about it because it espensive ;-;

17. has your tc ever failed you? if so, how did you react? if not, how would you react?

This feels a little dramatic, I think the worst it’s been is I had to wait an hour and a half for him to show up in a van so I could get my camping supplies out.

18. what are your tc’s hobbies/interests? are they similar to yours?

He seems to enjoy physical arts (he made a comment once about why do digital art when you’ve got a pen and paper lmao), which I’m more of a fan of too. He also seems to be outdoorsy and a fan of nature, which I tend to admire from afar. But also I’m not one to hike alone so I don’t know if I’d be more into it with someone

19. have you ever spoken on the phone with your tc? what did you talk about?

no but I harassed him for taking his sweet time when he told me I had to rush to the meeting site if I wanted my camping stuff back

20. if you had your tc’s class during quarantine, what were your zoom calls like? if not, have you spoken to your tc since quarantine?

I didn’t have him during quarantine, but I’ve been in a group zoom call with him. A second teacher led pretty much all of the discussion and he just sorta stared at things behind the screen like a squirrel

21. if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go? what would you do?

We talkin fantasy or somewhat reality? Fantasy we goin’ to some cool foreign city and banging. Reality, I think I’d just like to go on another camping trip, except this time with maybe a few less people

22. does your tc have any nicknames for you?

No but he used to use my high school nickname because he thought it was funny when I told him. When he remembered the nickname (because there was a three year hiatus where I didn’t have him we’d just sometimes run into each other) he laughed at it again. It’s a pretty fun nickname lol

23. have you ever cried in front of your tc? why? how did they react?

No which is surprising because I cried today after seeing a really cute bee video

24. have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc?

No but I’ve recently learned we live within a few blocks of each other so *fingers crossed*

25. do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers?

I’ve seen him interact with some teachers and I know he’s friends with one that although I haven’t had him he seems rad. The other teachers are ones that are either pretty okay or ones that my friends have had and either 100% hated/loved with no in between. So that’s interesting. He seemed to idolize the teacher who was the old head of the department he shifted to like I did so we have that in common (although I had the privilege of learning under the old teacher for a couple years which was dope)

26. what does your tc’s voice sound like?

A little raspy. Not like smoker raspy, just like, aged.

27. do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher?

He’s not the most influential teacher I’ve had, but I really enjoy his style and methods. Plus he genuinely cares about the students even though he’s too introverted to show it most of the time.

28. does your tc prefer books, shows or movies?

Don’t know, he seems like a book guy and older media person

29. is your tc stern or easy going, in class?

Easy going to a fault. It’s great until people take advantage of it.

30. how would you describe you and your tc’s relationship?

Friendly, hopefully maybe even peers to an extent when I graduate? I’m super bad at keeping in touch so it’d rely on me involving myself in the community more and hoping we run into each other oops

31. do you address your tc by their first or last name?

First name, but everyone calls him by that

[akatsuki-shin]

Review: Scum Villain’s Self-saving System (SVSSS)

Notes:

(Very) long post ahead

Contains spoiler

This is my personal review and does not represent the entire audience, you are free to agree or not agree with what I’ve written here

Feel free to reply/send me a message if there are things you want to discuss

Summary:

SVSSS tells the story of Shen Yuan, an avid web novel reader - particularly the stallion genre - who died suddenly from food-related incident after having just finished reading a famous (yet controversial) web-novel "Proud Immortal Demon Way".

Upon his wake, he discovered that he had been transmigrated into the world of that very novel, moreover into the body of the story's most-hated scum villain, Shen Qingqiu.

In his previous life, Shen Yuan had frequently criticized the "Proud Immortal Demon Way" and its author, "Airplane Shooting towards the Sky", for he found the web novel full of wasted potentials. Now having been sent to live in that novel's story, a mysterious system assigned him with a mission to fix the very plot he had been denouncing - and of course, to save himself from the tragic end of the original Shen Qingqiu, who was fated to be mutilated into a human stick by the story's protagonist, Luo Binghe, his own disciple.

STORY: 7/10

I personally have not read a lot of "isekai" stories. However, what makes SVSSS interesting to me, compared to most transmigration stories I've seen in the past, is because the main character was not thrown into a completely strange, unknown world, but rather into the universe of a novel he had been closely following up until the very last second of his life.

And what's more? He does not have complete freedom in modifying the story however he wants, but supervised by a mysterious system that will reward him for correct decisions, and punish him for wrong choices - with being deported to his original world as the ultimate punishment should his points fall below the set limit (a.k.a. he would really lose his life because he is already dead in his original world).

The fact that Shen Yuan, now living as Shen Qingqiu, possessing complete knowledge of the original story, yet still unable to foresee what butterfly effect his actions will cause to the plot and characters is perhaps the most appealing aspect of this novel.

Shen Qingqiu in his previous life was no different than us - a normal, modern young man from the 21st century. His thoughts and opinions on the situation, the way he reacts on certain matters, his internal monologues are all realistic and easily relatable. It feels as if I myself have partly become Shen Qingqiu, as well, looking at how the story progresses from a first person point of view, because if I were to be in his shoes, I would probably react in the exact same way as a modern person thrown into an ancient fantasy world.

Nevertheless, this "omniscient reader" point of view is not without a flaw. Although Shen Qingqiu himself is gradually blending in, accepting his new life in the ancient cultivation world and no longer seeing the other characters as mere "fictional characters", because his mindset is that of a modern man, I find it difficult for myself as the reader to perceive the world of SVSSS as an actual, stand-alone world. Until the very last page of the story, I still feel like I'm looking at a fictional world, feeling detached to the universe and characters because I'm not "living" in it.

Another aspect that I think could've been improved is the romance development between Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe. I have full confidence that post-story Shen Qingqiu loves Luo Binghe with all his heart, but I seriously have no idea when and how he reached that point.

In the first half of the story, upon having accepted his new life as Shen Qingqiu, his feeling towards Luo Binghe is more like fondness and endearment. Perhaps he does like the character Luo Binghe, and considering that he, along with the rest of the web novel's readers, hated the original Shen Qingqiu to the core, of course he wants to treat Luo Binghe and the other characters better (otherwise, how could he save himself from that nightmarish fate as a human stick).

Later on, he learns of his mistake, how he could've made better decisions, and tried to understand Luo Binghe better, redeeming himself. Perhaps his love towards Luo Binghe began to grow along this path, but I honestly don't see it being told to me, as the reader. All of a sudden he is willing enough to "offer" himself to calm the maddened Luo Binghe. He's been proclaiming himself as a straight man all this time and never once did I see him agreeing with himself that he is going to accept his feelings for Luo Binghe. When I read this later part, I feel like I've just jumped over a huge chunk of development. Because up until that point, Shen Qingqiu still only gives me the feeling of a teacher who adores and cares for a special disciple of his.

All in all, if I were to summarized the plot, I think SVSSS is an interesting, curious story. The fact that Shen Qingqiu was tasked to fix the original novel's flaws makes me want to continue reading for as long as I can. What change is he going to make? What effect will be caused and what chain of events will follow? Furthermore, if you're looking for comedy, then you've come to the right place. With an internet-literate modern man experiencing living in an ancient, fantasy novel, Shen Qingqiu's reactions will never be boring to see. Even the banters and exchanges between characters are so realistic to the point that it is almost possible to imagine them visually.

Also, BingQiu is cute, I take no criticism.

CHARACTERS: 6/10

The distribution of that overall score of "6" is actually as follows:

3 --> Shen Qingqiu

1 --> Shen Jiu

1 --> Luo Binghe + Yue Qingyuan

0.5 --> Liu Qingge

0.5 --> Everybody else

Notice that in the previous section, I barely talk about any other character than Shen Qingqiu? It's not just because he is the main character, but because the other characters are seriously that un-interesting. In fact, I regret to say that personally, I think the characters are this novel's weakest point.

Or to be more precise, the characters' depth.

Shen Qingqiu by himself is a great character. He is calm, logical, knows when and where to put his "omniscient reader" knowledge to good use. He is effortlessly hilarious even if he himself doesn't realize it, but at the same time, despite the mountain of curses he often uses, he is still a good person at heart. I think he is the sole reason that the story could remain interesting until the very end.

But sometimes he is a bit too ideal, almost always having the correct solution and/or countermeasure to every situation even if the plot has changed massively from the original web novel that he knows. Especially when it turns out that he has discovered a way to revive himself after self-destructing at Huayue City, it makes his initially heartbreaking sacrifice less......touching. Because it feels as if he's been scheming this to be freed from the current ordeal, maybe to escape the system, as well.

Furthermore, no matter how much of an expert he was of the "Proud Immortal Demon Way" universe, he still just passed away and was transmigrated into a foreign world. Although the system initially banned him from being OOC, other than some panicky internal monologue, there was almost no trace of him looking distraught when being faced with the unthinkable situation.

Plus, Shen Yuan was different from Airplane Shooting towards the Sky who, even if he were to return to his original world, would have nobody waiting for him. The description of his family was pretty clear. Not only he comes from a well-off household, his family seems to be quite a happy and harmonious one (especially how he used to dote on his younger sister). How come there is not one single moment when he thinks about the family he has left behind and simply carries on with his new life as if nothing happened?

Now Luo Binghe, the second main lead and the one paired with Shen Qingqiu.

Before he fell into the Eternal Abyss, his character actually seems pretty solid. But post-darkening, I don't know why I can't get a good grasp of his character.

The "clingy, crybaby boyfriend" aspect is pretty clear, no complaint there (although the moments of his crying feels too comical for me). Other than that, I don't really feel the "powerful Demon Lord" vibe from him.

Yes, there are descriptions of how powerful he is, how frightening he can be. But it's just not solid enough for me. I understand that he is supposed to be a character with unstable mental, but there are simply not enough part where he is shown to be a proper, powerful Demon Lord because he keeps breaking down each and every single time. The "glass heart maiden" aspect isn't bad, but when it's used in an overly comical way, the character simply loses the charm he's supposed to have.

Even Yue Qingyuan, who's only a minor character, had such a strong charm that slaps you with the biggest plot twist in the whole story when it was revealed (to us, the readers) who he actually is.

Ironically, the original Luo Binghe (Bing-ge) was able to present the character's true image and complexity even if he only appear in less than 10% of the entire story.

And even more ironically, the original Shen Qingqiu a.k.a. Shen Jiu, is probably the most complex character to have ever existed in there (and he only appears in, what, a couple of extra chapters).

(You know what? If MXTX just goes with the original Luo Binghe x Shen Qingqiu, including all of their complexity, I think the development, conflict, and resolution could've been more deep and complex - but yeah, it ain't gonna be "Scum Villain's Self Saving System)

Liu Qingge is okay and actually quite lovable. It's just that I feel it's too easy for him to appear anytime, anywhere there is a problem, as if he's some easy way out.

Other than those I've mentioned above, I literally don't have anything to comment on the other characters because... I don't even know if there's anything to comment. They really come and go just like that and leave no big impression on me.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS: 6/10

This here is basically just some technical things that were a bit unfortunate, because if only they were improved, the story could've been better.

1. The story is clearly written from Shen Qingqiu's point of view, but it will suddenly switch to Luo Binghe's inner thoughts every now and then, making it inconsistent.

2. Description of time and environment. Sometimes it's really difficult to tell in what kind of place the scene is happening, whether it was day or night, whether the characters still remain in the same place or have move elsewhere. Transition when switching locations is also not described enough.

3. As much as I love the story, I feel like it's progressing too fast without any significant crisis. It just ends like that with no massive ordeal or mystery to be solved. I think this is related to Shen Qingqiu's "omniscient reader" point of view because it makes me feel like "hmm yeah, it's just another part of the story, they're going to go through this just fine"

Still, I understand that this is MXTX's first novel. In fact, most of the aforementioned issues (including the characters) have undergone immense improvement in her second novel (MDZS), so I don't think I have anything to worry about.

OVERALL SCORE: 6.3/10

It's worth to read, really. If you just want to enjoy a cool, funny, and cute "isekai" story, I can definitely recommend this. But don't expect some deep philosophical shit, because half of this novel is made of shitpost (I shit you not).

Moral of the story though?

See how market demand kills content creators' freedom and creativity.

Airplane Shooting towards the Sky, the author of the controversial stallion "Proud Immortal Demon Way" literally told Shen Qingqiu at the final chapter of the main story:

He's actually written deep, aesthetic stories before, but they were all unpopular. Only when he wrote this harem novel full of fan-service - disregarding plot depth, plot holes, cheap characterizations - did he finally gain popularity and was able to obtain sufficient income to feed himself.

He was grateful to Shen Qingqiu for "messing" up the plot of his novel, changing it into how it is now, because it allows everything he originally wanted to write - but couldn't - to come true.

In previous chapters, he also said that he actually wanted to make the original Shen Qingqiu into a three-dimensional, more complex characters, but the netizens didn't appreciate it and were complaining instead. Hence he was forced to make the original Shen Qingqiu into a plain old scum villain with no redeeming quality at all - even though in his original script, this character has a complex background that causes his current known personality.

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua might be talking about it in their usual, funny bantering, but who dares to say that this isn't an issue being faced by almost all content creators in the whole world?

How many content creators have been forced to sacrifice the creativity value and quality of their work in order to satisfy the taste of majority?

How many content creators have been made to revise their works by editors in order to fit into a certain agenda or market trend?

Unless you're a massively popular creator or a powerful individual, chances are you will never have the chance to create a content you truly want to make for a living.

In any case, there may be other authors who are better than MXTX in this world, but I love her works because despite the fictional content, the comedy, the silliness, etc, there are still at least one aspect that reflects the situation of the real, current world, and when you realize it, the realization can be quite a slap to the face like "hey, wait a minute, she's right you know?" See less

[findyourrp]

Heeelllloooo! I'm gonna get straight into this as I am both excited and a little anxious.

This is an extremely long shot, but I'm looking for a few things, namely a roleplay BASED on either Life After Beth or Grease. BEFORE YOU SCROLL; if you haven't watched either that's fine because I can either explain it or you don't even need to watch it because I can give a general idea of what I want. If not I'll be deadass, I mostly just want a romance, comedy or drama roleplay. I'm not looking for a roleplay set in the universe but rather inspired by it, but if you want to do a Fandom rp on it I'm also happy to do that. Generally I just want romance, slice of life, angst!!! I've been writing action, fantasy and all that for so long, just need some lovin' for a bit!

- I am very open minded and I'd like to think I'm VERY friendly! I often do edits for my partners of both my character and theirs! Maybe even both together? Anyway! I also do spotify playlist and generally I'd like to think I show that I genuinely care for my roleplay partner and the roleplay.

- With that being said, I'd rather you not answer this if you believe you are way too dry or just don't like talking ooc, we won't mesh well!

- Another thing, I'm copy pasting this in several places but for the places that don't have an age limit, I'm specifically looking for 18+ people.

- Here's where some of you might just be driven away. I'm M, and while I would love to double up if necessary(my specialty mayhaps?), if not doubling up in almost any case I'd be playing a male character. I feel perfectly comfortable playing a female character but I'd want to use a guy.

- If what didn't drive you away was the former, this might do it for some of you. I do Oc x Oc, Oc x cc and cc x cc BUT there's conditions to the last two. I will not do oc x cc unless doubling up because I feel it is unfair for you to get what you wish for which is your desired CC and I nothing in return. Along with this, I only do cc x cc in double ups, meaning one side has to have oc action.

- For my side I'd like MxF or MxM only if the male is feminine. I'm NOT trying to fetichize a certain demographic of men, I simply have a preference for a certain style of clothing and/or femininity. However for your side? I'll play anyone and anything in any pairing. I'll happily be the girl of your dreams!

- I'm big on this one, I'll try and summarize because this ask is already long enough! I love character and worldbuilding. I gush about it and I'm pathetically enthused with the idea of the world being more than just our characters. Likelihood is, there'll be more than just our two (or four if doubling) characters!!

- I'm literate to novella, but I don't demand perfect grammar or 4k character responses. I only ask for a minimum of 500 characters(letters-?) Per response to give me enough to work with and enough to gush about.

- I'm patient! But! I'm looking for decently active partners that'll respond atleast..I dunno? 6 times a week? If you could do much more or everyday, hell that'd be lovely. I have a life too so trust I know shit can get hectic, but I'm not looking to rp once every 3 days for 10 minutes. If you get busy though? Let me know, I wont ditch you like that!!

- Realistic fcs!

Like this and I'll reach out! We'll be roleplaying and discussing on discord!!

.

[365days365movies]

May 6, 2021: The Martian (2015) (Recap: Part One)

We’re leaving lo-fi sci-fi, people. Kind of.

I mentioned before that films like Her are what I define as “lo-fi sci-fi”, which is a category that I’ve kind of made up. Basically, it’s the science fiction version of low fantasy, meaning it contains science fiction themes contained within an otherwise contemporary setting. In the case of Her, Joaquin Phoenix’s character, along with many others, live in a world and setting basically like ours, but with technology advanced enough to generate AIs (like Siri) that are intelligent enough to actually ascend our reality. Because we live in a society.

You give me Joaquin Phoenix, I’m gonna make a Joker reference; it’s in the contract of my existence. Anyway, that is admittedly kind of broad, right? I mean, that has the capability of crossing over with a BUNCH of sci-fi genres and themes. And, considering that we’ve already seen magic, speculative technology, time travel, monsters, and artificial intelligence, we’ve already touched on quite a bit.

And with science fiction, the sky’s the limit. Literally. So, I think it behooves us to re-examine lo-fi sci-fi a little bit. Specifically, we should note that it can also be defined as an extension of currently existing technologies and possibilities. Writers would call this “speculative sci-fi”, assuming in this case that it’s set within the present or a near and attainable future. Her definitely fits in this category, as does Westworld. But, let’s crossover to another genre by speculating upon another possibility. And it begins with this man. Probably.

Hey, Elon, what’s up? Now, Mr. Musk here is a...controversial figure, for COMPLETELY understandable reasons. Instead of touch upon the man himself, I feel like touching upon one of his recent focuses: space travel. With SpaceX and the various upcoming space trips and journeys that they’re planning, Musk has made it clear that he plans to shoot to the Moon. Again, literally.

In fact, this full plan is to go even further than that, and to fuel potential commercial space flights in the future, which is admittedly very cool. And of course, if you’re going to shoot for the Moon...

Guys...guys, that’s Mars. THAT’S FUCKING MARS

Is that not amazing? We have sound and pictures from FUCKING MARS! THAT’S A DIFFERENT PLANET, GODDAMN IT! It’s cooler than I have the ability to properly express, but it IS goddamn cool. And this means that, easily within my lifetime, we could (and likely will) land on Mars. Which is amazing. God, I really want to see that happen.

And so, landing on Mars is BARELY science fiction, but since we haven’t yet done so...yeah, it’s fictional at the moment. And so, any film about landing on Mars falls within this category. Well...to an extent.

2000′s Mission to Mars, for example, was a Disney-funded film (to my IMMENSE surprise; and it’s based off of an old Disney World ride, WHAT), and a movie that I saw a LOT when I was a kid. I also barely remember it, to be honest. But that film is straight-up science fiction because of, well...aliens. The idea of Martians is, as far as we know it, fictional. And most fiction involving Mars includes these aliens somehow. Whether it’s DC Comics�� entire civilization of Martians, as seen in Justice League, Supergirl, or Young Justice...

...Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s heavily mythologized civilization, as seen in the Barsoom series of novels (and another Disney film)...

...Or one of the best Looney Tunes characters.

Mmm. Yes. Isn’t that lovely?

But, yeah, Mars and aliens go hand-in-hand in our media. So, to properly look at lo-fi science and speculative science fiction in relation to the Red Planet, we’ll need a movie that goes to the planet, and doesn’t touch upon the concept of aliens AT ALL.

Enter...Ridley Scott?

Yeah, the director of Legend, Alien, Thelma and Louise, Blade Runner, Gladiator. Also the director of Kingdom of Heaven, Prometheus, Exodus: Gods and Kings, and...ugh, 1492: Conquest of Paradise. I’ve talked about his mixed record before, in my Recap of Legend right here.

In 2014, he was brought on to adapt a book by Andy Weir called The Martian, which is a great book! I’ve listened to the audio book, and I whole-heartedly recommend doing that. And because of that, I am VERY MUCH looking forward to watching this film, especially seeing as it’s often called one of the best science fiction films made during that year, and was critically acclaimed then and now. It got seven Oscar nominations (although it won none of them), amongst other awards. So, enough navel-gazing, huh? The Martian!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

On Acidalia Plantitia, at the landing site of the Ares III mission, a group of scientists are gathering samples. These scientists are commander and geologist Melissa Lewis (Jessica Chastain), pilot Rick Martinez (Michael Pena), systems operator Beth Johanssen (Kate Mara), surgeon Chris Beck (Sebastian Stan), German chemist Alex Vogel (Aksel Hennie), and overly talkative botanist Mark Watney (Matt Damon). 

The group seems to have a good dynamic, but that dynamic is interrupted by a massive dust storm, which is large enough to cause the entire crew to evacuate. However, in the chaos of the dust storm, Mark is hit by debris and lost in the shuffle. Although Lewis goes back to find him, she can’t get to him before they need to leave, and Mark is believed dead. This is reported (pretty callously) by NASA Director Teddy Sanders (Jeff Daniels) to the press soon afterwards.

But of course, that wouldn’t be much of a movie, now would it? Mark’s alive! And Mark’s alone. With his suit damaged, and low on oxygen, he trudges back to headquarters, which is intact and still contains breathable oxygen. He gets inside, and realizes that he’s been stabbed in the abdomen by some debris. He removes it, and stitches up his own wound. Which is...god, it’s fucking BRUTAL just to think about, nevertheless watch.

Once he’s finished, he records a log for the future, if he doesn’t make it. It’s day 19 of the 31-day mission at this point, and Mark’s basically screwed. He needs lasting oxygen, water, and food, and he might need that for 4 years, when the next manned mission can come to the red planet. Additionally, he has absolutely no way to contact NASA, leaving him completely stranded. Another dust storm rolls in that night, and Mark looks over the belongings of his colleagues, packing them up for their eventual return. It’s somber, to say the least. However, Mark affirms that he’s determined not to die on the planet.

After doing the math, Mark should have enough food to last him for about 300 days, especially if he rations it. Until then, he’ll need to figure out how to grow his own food, on a planet where nothing grows. Which is, of course, going to be a difficult feat to accomplish. But Mark Watney’s a botanist with botany powers, and he’s gonna do it.

It’s day 31, and Mark’s brought in dirt from the outside, and uses the bio-waste from the crew’s stay there for a form of compost. After 5 days, mostly full of him watching Happy Days on TV and trying to farm, he realizes that he needs water, both for himself and for the soil. To do that, he goes chemical and decides to use hydrogen-laden rocket fuel, wood from Martinez’s belongings, and good old-fashioned fire to make water! And since hydrogen + oxygen = water, it should work. With a minor side-effect.

So, yeah, he blew himself up. As as he records a video log, the sound mixing makes itself impressively known by subtly and realistically generating a tinnitus sound. It’s VERY well-done, holy shit. Anyway, he makes a stable fire, and the place is soon covered in condensation, moistening the room and the soil successfully.

We get to day 54, and Mark’s planted leftover potatoes from the crew in order to grow them. And while he’s being mourned at a funeral on Earth, and in NASA, he’s seeing the fruits (or shoots) of his efforts.

Back on Earth, Mars Mission Director Vincent Kapoor (Chiwetel Ejiofor) is trying to convince Director Teddy to let him lobby for another Ares mission, despite the risk of bad press for the callousness of the proximity to Watney’s death. Meanwhile, satellite technician Mindy Park (Mackenzie Davis) looks down at the Ares III site, and realizes that the site has changed visually, meaning that Mark may actually be alive.

Shocked by this, she tells Kapoor, Teddy, and media director Annie Montrose (Kristen Wiig) about this, and they realize the absolute clusterfuck that this whole thing is. They can’t tell the other members of the Ares III crew about it, because it’d devastate them for the 10 months they have to get back to Earth, at the VERY least. They can’t tell the WORLD about this, because they just had a funeral for the guy, and they’d reveal that they left him stranded on Mars accidentally, destroying faith in the Mars Missions Program. And they can’t save Mark, who they’re sure will starve eventually. It’s a mess. And Kapoor also wonders what’s happening to Mark psychologically through all of this.

And yet, they reveal this to the world regardless, causing the clusterfuck reaction that they think it’s going to cause. But Mark’s busy on Mars, figuring out how to get to the site of the next Ares IV mission in 4 years, at the Schiaparelli crater about 50 days travel away. This is a struggle, as his Rover has only so much power and fuel, and he can only get more power by cutting out the heater is risking death by freezing. So, problems. However, he figures out a potential solution: radioactive isotopes! In a move that is, let’s face it, COMPLETELY INSANE, he digs up a radioactive generator from the ship in order to heat the ship.

On Earth, they try to figure out Mark’s moves, as well as how to resupply Ares IV sooner for Mark’s benefit. This is with the director of JPL, Bruce Ng (Benedict Wong), and the flight director of the ship Hermes, Mitch Henderson (Sean Bean), who insists that they tell the Ares II crew. They continue to monitor Mark, and note that he’s been travelling for 17 days in his Rover towards something. Kapoor figures it out, and flies to California.

See, Mark needs a way to contact NASA, and he believes that the way to do so is through Pathfinder, the first probe ever sent to Mars in 1997, lasting for 9 months since landing until they lost contact. Mark digs it up, and the people at JPL in California start their own efforts for contact. And despite communication being extremely rudimentary, initially limited to yes/no questions that use a still-frame camera, it fucking WORKS! WHOO!

To boost this communication hurdle, the two camps figure out a hexadecimal system for communication, allowing them to communicate using a circular table of numbers that represent an alphabet. That allows them to teach Mark to hack into the Rover, allowing it to piggyback off of its broadcast signal and send them messages via keyboard. Nice! Now that communication is reasonably possible, Mark’s able to ask how the crew is handling his death. But upon learning that they haven’t told him. He’s understandably a little goddamn enraged. And so, they FINALLY tell the Ares III crew about this.

The news breaks the crew, even though Mark continues to stress that he’s all right, and that it wasn’t their fault. Meanwhile, Mark’s able to survive for 912 days with his potato plants, and things improve with the help of technicians on Earth. They plan to launch a supply rocket to him in the next year, and things are looking fine! Unless, of course...something goes horribly HORRIBLY wrong.

Well...fuck. Good place to pause for Part Two, then?

[dgcatanisiri]

So... something kinda hit me abruptly and pushed me to feeling about ready to snap, so... Have a word vomit. Kinda feels like a greatest hits compilation of  my “another angry queer rant” tag, but I need to get it out, so...

I know I’ve been over plenty about how I don’t feel represented even when I have something with gay representation. How I’d give dozens of Dorians and Iron Bulls to get even one run of Inquisition that properly has my male Inquisitor romance Cullen. How when I look at Mass Effect - this franchise that I love - I can only see how much it hates me for being a gay man who dares to seek content for me. How godawful it is that Gil’s story, a story that is explicitly a story centered on a gay man and the difficulties he faces BECAUSE of being gay, was written by a straight person who ABSOLUTELY does not GET. IT. And how fandom as an entity sucks, because so often it feels like the attitude of the people in it comes across as telling me that my desire to be represented in my media somehow comes in second to celebrating the advances solely for women, that my needs as a queer MAN (the emphasis usually theirs) are less important, because I can still see myself AS A MAN in other characters throughout media.

But... That doesn’t change the fact that this is a very real, very tangible THING for me to grapple with. And sometimes it feels like no one ever, EVER talks about this.

I mean, my go-to example is that after Inquisition dropped, you could not say A WORD in criticism of Dorian without people jumping down your throat, chomping at the bit to call you a homophobe for it. No matter what reason - but ESPECIALLY if you thought he was “too stereotypical” - you got hit with that label. Even if you were gay yourself, it was just your “internalized homophobia” that made you dislike him, or even being biased against the people who genuinely do lean in to the stereotypes, don’t they deserve representation too?!

Well, yeah. It’s not like I was saying they don’t. But that it’s a stereotype means it’s often still in media, still often THERE. It’s not always good representation, but it’s something. Meanwhile for those of us who AREN’T? It just meant further exclusion from the narratives. A continuation of our invisibility.

And sure, one queer character cannot represent every queer person, one individual who embodies one letter of the alphabet soup cannot be everything to everyone under that individual label. But, again, it still means that I don’t get to see myself.

If media representation is a life preserver, then I’m getting pulled out to sea while the lifeguards are busy with people who are closer to them than I am. Which, you can call it triage, cast the widest net to hope to get the most people, but when you’re one of those who are not even able to grab on to the net and use it to pull yourself closer, it’s not helping. And, because they’re focused on those who have grabbed on to the net, your struggle continues to be ignored.

Worse, sometimes they aren’t factoring you in the net they’re throwing (yes, I’m aware my metaphor is getting increasingly strained, just work with me here) because they think you’re not in the trouble they think others are - if you can “pass” as cishet, if you can exist without actively fearing for your safety, if you are the kind of person who can walk down the street and not expect to be harassed because you “present” gay, then you’re not as in need as those people who can’t, who are going to be threatened for existing while visibly queer.

But the truth is that you’re still suffering. I’m not gonna get in to the whole oppression Olympics nature of it all, but there is an element that those of us who “pass” as being “straight-acting” (and, for the record, I think these terms are bogus and bullshit, but I’m using them for the sake of simplicity in getting my message across, because I’m stream of consciousnessing this post instead of going to bed so you’re getting babble and word vomit so that this isn’t playing on a loop as I try and sleep) suffer that... I’m not going to say that it makes it worse, but it does have this level of SOMETHING that is a unique pain that you aren’t going to find from the people who are visibly and noticeably queer at a glance - it’s not just isolation, because this is something that you end up not talking about because no one around you realizes that you are queer, but also this voice in the back of your mind that starts questioning “are you REALLY queer? Are you queer ENOUGH?”

And that’s why it hurts that little bit more, is that much more a twist of the knife, when I see these people who push the “joke” of like “why did they even HAVE male Shepard?” or “the only way to play is as Kassandra.” Because it does reinforce this idea - that there is this attitude of this thing, this character that I was seeing as representation doesn’t matter. So that I take strength in that character, well, that’s just me latching on to REPRESENTATION AS A MAN, and we’re not here to protect your fragile masculine ego.

When all I’m looking for is a queer man like I am.

And sometimes, I don’t even feel like the other queer men I can look to get it. Like, there was that time about a year ago that I looked up issues of queer men in video games, and the three videos I found all got an “...and NOPE!” reaction from me - the first argued in math about how “queer people are a small portion of the population, we can’t realistically expect to be represented equally,” even though we’re talking about FICTION, which is, by definition, NOT reality, the second was clearly a cishet who compared not being represented as a queer person to not being represented as a Swedish person, and then a third who first had a thumbnail on a video of “good and bad representation” and Kaidan was the example of bad (so a negative mark against this video to begin with, but I was desperate), only to lead with Dorian as a good example, which... *vague motion above and at the “dorian critical” tag* I staunchly disagree with this stance.

Like... I have to struggle to think of who my role models in being a queer man are. It’s not just who fits my story, but who do I look up to, who inspires me. And, admittedly, the luster for any personal hero seems to inevitable wear off at this point, I’m in my early thirties, and most of the media I consume will have characters who are my age or younger PERIOD, so my queer heroes would have to be people I’d consider either peers or even someone who I am older than...

But then, that’s kinda the thing about being queer period - we lost a generation to AIDS, and for those who followed that generation, we’ve had to live in this world where our heroes don’t exist like us, while trying to pave the way for those who come after us, and who can’t conceive of what it is like to age - as in “go from adulthood to middle age to elder,” not just the matter of growing up from childhood to adulthood - and so even as they’re the one who we want to give all of this to... It still means we suffer because no one is there to offer US that hand.

And yet, try to explain this to media creators, and you get ignored or even shut down. Like, I about a year ago, I directly replied to tweet from Patrick Weekes, explaining how Inquisition failed me, how all bi LIs actually HELP me feel more represented as a queer person than the mix of sexualities that BioWare on the whole has said that they intend to do (re: the difference of LIs in DA2 and Dragon Age Inquisition). It got no response, not even a like to indicate that it’d been read by them. I could form in my head the response I’d have inevitably gotten from David Gaider when he still had an active Tumblr of what would amount to, nicest, “we cannot please everyone, enough people were moved by Dorian’s story to make it worthwhile, sorry.” Given some of my cynicism, I can’t help but believe that it would also have come with a “sorry you feel that way.” Particularly considering some of the comments he’s made about Cullen and Kaidan as LIs, both of whom being characters I connect to more than others in their respective games...

And like... Gaider is a gay man. Weekes is nonbinary. But they are from that generation who view being able to exist openly as queer as a revolutionary statement, which... It’s a statement I want to make, sure, but it’s not a revolutionary one to me - “existence” is the bare minimum. To me, focusing on existence as a queer person is to say that the queer character must justify existing as queer in order to be a part of the narrative. But what is revolutionary to me is to give the queer person a story in the narrative that has NOTHING to do with their queerness.

Like... Fantasy world here, Inquisition drops with Cullen and Cassandra as same-sex exclusive LIs, while every other aspect of their stories are the same. Women can’t romance Cullen, Men can’t romance Cassandra. Other than that, we have Cullen with his addiction/redemption arc and Cassandra not just struggling with her faith but even getting the chance to be Divine. Yes, fandom would FLIP. THE FUCK. OUT. But here’s what it says - the things that these characters go through in the course of the game are not defined by their sexuality. Hell, with these characters specifically, you get characters with MASSIVE relevance to queer stories that AREN’T exclusive to being queer - addiction is a real issue in queer communities, given how many of our safe spaces are bars or clubs, places where alcohol (and thus alcohol abuse) is easily obtained, and, by extension, drugs as well. Meanwhile, there are SCORES of queer people who struggle with the question of faith in the wake of their queerness manifesting.

THAT is revolutionary. To take these stories that straight people get all the time, that certainly have meaning as queer stories for the queer audience... And yet, when they go to these (hypothetically) queer characters, it has that subtext without making the story ABOUT their queerness, while still making it clear that, in this version of things, they are queer - players couldn’t pretend that it’s only in some parallel universe that they are queer, they would only be attracted to the same sex PC. THAT is revolutionary.

Or, y’know, take it back beyond BioWare for a little bit here - all the characters I feel the most connection to emotionally in TV shows are straight. All these men who are my role models only ever get shown being involved with women. At most, they’ll get queerbaited as MAYBE being queer, if you just keep watching! Inevitably, of course, they are not queer by the end of the show - the closest to date is the debacle that is Supernatural.

Yeah, there’s representation for ya.

And then there are those who end up looking at what I see as thoroughly inadequate and... They’re happy. They praise it. They look at this thing that hurts me, that excludes me, that can, when I’m in the bad headspaces, even make me question myself... And they have found something they like with it.

Which, for the record, good for them, genuinely and sincerely, I really am glad that someone is getting something out of this, but... Well, see above: life preserver, isolation, “sorry you feel that way.” Everyone else is getting what they needed, but what about me? When does my representation get to appear? Why am I always being left, scrounging for the scraps of the scraps? Why does other peoples’ representation always seem to get shoved to the front of the line, leaving me languishing in the back.

That’s the real thing about all of those lines of “if you don’t like it, go make your own!” At this point, even if I did manage to get something in my to-write folder cleaned up and ready to go, in reality... How am I supposed to feel like anyone other than me WOULD proceed to read it? That the audience would exist? Because... no one seems to care about this audience. Hell, how would I get anyone to publish it if it is only going to appeal to me?

I feel on the margins of the margins, where no one really cares. Hell, even here in my own blog, I feel afraid of backlash - I’ve had the assholes show up in response to like little brief comments that are off-the-cuff rambles, not worded in a way that makes them a full, detailed accounting, and either take them as evidence that I, personally, represent all that is wrong with fandom at large, or that I am a target for their trolling. Because saying that “I find the jokes about male Shepard not mattering to be diminishing of me as a queer person, can we please stop this?” is somehow not just lesbophobic, but VIOLENTLY lesbophobic. Or that saying that I don’t care that bad things happen to a fictional species is somehow advocating for violence against actual women. Or even explicitly calling out BioWare for lovingly lingering the camera on Miranda’s ass is slutshaming her. And of course, there are the assholes who responded to me saying on the BioWare Twitter announcement post for the Legendary Edition that, if it didn’t have a full trilogy male Shepard/Kaidan romance, I wasn’t buying it, and proceeded to a) call me entitled for it (like, read a dictionary, the very fact that I have to call for this content that doesn’t exist in the game proper is the OPPOSITE of entitlement...), b) tell me that I “shouldn’t deny [myself] a great story just because it doesn’t have gay people in it” and c) just generally be homophobic. Even in rolling with it on the basis of “the trolls are gonna show up period if you make it clear that you care about something, especially if you are trying to get representation for some group that is in the minority... It gets exhausting. It can be harmful. It makes it clear that you’re not welcome, even when you’re supposedly united by the fact that you and these people supposedly love the same piece of media.

I mean, among those examples, I’ve given the statements that inspired those responses no tags other than my own organizational tags, but SOMEHOW they find me anyway, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I got accused of like being another White Gay™ with this post, that I simply want to center the conversation wholly on myself at the expense of all other intersections of queerness and other identities or something for saying all of this, even though this is, and it says so from the start, a vent post, which, by definition, is centered on myself because it’s about me and my experiences and emotions. *sigh*

Anyway...

And, y’know, when BioWare actively refuses to even ACKNOWLEDGE that the absence of a full trilogy M/M romance option is a bad thing, it just ends up saying that the trolls are actually the audience they’re willing to court. That Supernatural ending with a brothers only focus that doesn’t even allow Cas to be mentioned other than offhandedly while suppressing ANY kind of emotional fallout to his admission of love says that they don’t care about the queer people who at the very least the actor was trying to be respectful and representative of. That every piece of media that says that to have a queer person in it, their presence must be explained and justified is saying that there needs to be a REASON for queerness, a reason that is not “because people are queer, and queer people come in as many stripes as cishet people, and so media should reflect that spectrum just as much.”

Even when the numbers of queer characters in media goes up, it doesn’t really move the needle. And that’s not even getting to the difficulties when you are any mix-and-match combo under the queer umbrella, or any other identity that intersects to marginalize someone in our society. It just...

Y’know, it doesn’t feel like “it gets better.” Rather it just feels like being stuck in position, just with a changing backdrop. Sure, things look different by the end of the day, but that doesn’t change that you’re not getting anywhere.