#like if i were to rank my dream biases

[lqfiles]

your score that goal au is the best thing that happened in my life and im not even into jisung like that

YOU WANNA KNOW SOMETHING FUNNY i’m not even jisung biased like that either but istj happened and i was in a jisung brainrot moment and wanted to read smaus cos i was getting into those, but found out that most of them were on hiatus so i said EFF IT and now we’re here 🤗 anyways that’s so sweet bro i’m glad i’m luring you into the asteroid lifestyle, kinda 🫂

[femmeprincessjulia]

Ranking Cinderella Adaptations Based On How Much I Want The Dress

(In my own personal opinion, these are just the ones I like the best.)

10. Cinderella (2021) : Everyone's hated on this movie enough, so I'm just going to focus on the dress. In theory, I could see what they were going for. If it was just a fitted bustier, a hip-hugging skirt and a bustle, then I think it would have succeeded. But it's just underwhelming. That's all it is. Underwhelming. 3/10

9. Into The Woods (2014) : There's not much to talk about with this dress. I love the color choice, and I think the way it moves is pretty. But it just feels too simple. I know it's a dress that isn't crucial to the plot or anything, but it's still just a little too underwhelming. But I do think the sleeves are cute. 4/10

8. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018) : I think my issues with this dress are similar to my issues with Into The Woods. It just doesn't have the "wow" factor I'm searching for. It's a beautiful dress, and I would certainly wear it. But it just feels like the most generic Cinderella dress. Blue, sparkly, princess-y. Still cute though. 4/10

7. Another Cinderella Story (2008) : I'm a sucker for a red dress, and I truly adore this one. The neckline isn't my favorite, but I love the layering and the ruffles. It's such a daring take for a Cinderella dress, but it's something I would definitely wear. It looks like it would be fun to dance in. 6/10

6. Cinderella (1950) : Yes, it's a classic. It's simplistic, but so magical. The scene where her dress changes is one of my absolute favorites of all time. In this case, I love the simplicity. It really makes her stand out. I dreamed of this dress so much as a kid. 7/10

5. Ever After (1998) : Maybe I'm biased, because this is one of my favorite Cinderella adaptations, but I do adore this dress. While the time period is not my favorite in terms of silhouette, this dress still feels magical and dreamy. Empire waists and a slender fit aren't my type, but I would wear it simply to feel ethereal. I mean, the EMBROIDERY? The WINGS? All gorgeous and stunning. 8/10

4. A Cinderella Story (2004) : Yeah, it's a very simple dress. But it's absolutely breathtaking. I want to get married in this dress. Something about it is just so angelic. I feel like it should be paired with wings too. The femininity in this dress is something I truly adore. 8/10

3. Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997) : Is it costume-y? Yes. Is it made of two clashing materials? Yes. Would I sell my soul to the devil for the chance to wear this dress? Also yes. I don't care how cliché it is. The sweetheart neckline, the opera gloves, the little bustle in the back, it's all so cute and just feels like a little girl's princess dream. Plus, I love the shade of light blue. 9/10

2. The Slipper and the Rose (1976) : Shockingly, I haven't seen this film. But I truly should, because the costume design is absolutely gorgeous. It all takes inspiration from the rococo period. My bias takes hold again, it seems. Sure, it's a lot of frills and pink, but that's exactly what I look for in a dress. If I was going to a rococo ball, this is what I'd be wearing. 9/10

1. Cinderella (2015) : The almighty. The most beautiful dress to ever be created. The dress that lingers in my dreams. Nothing can surpass this dress. Words can't even describe how wonderful it is. I do believe this dress is the most magical of all. It is absolute perfection from head to toe. Scratch what I said earlier about getting married in Hillary Duff's dress. I'm getting married in Lily James' dress. 1000000/10

[katiekatdragon27]

People sleeping on this hypothetical tbh.

Oh, First King you grump and unaware old fart. You have no idea how scary and cool you look to these kids <33

Notes n stuff below cut:

I get all the jokes about FK being a zombie and evil n stuff, but like, not really?? He's just the FIRST KING OF THE GLADE that's all. He's probably been unjustly necromanced into today's world when he was just chilling with being dead. He would be the last thing from evil. Maybe kinda rude to other species, but that's normal for older people.

Idk, I just want grandpas in the world who actually want to help care and raise the next generation (cuz peepaw Polokus is doing daedally-shit)

Since I'm self-indulgent and biased to my own ideas, I had this silly idea that when FK was resurrected, he and Markus (the name for the Grand Minumus always hanging with Rayman for me), got into some arguments about just general stuff regarding the Glade and it's management. It might've gotten violent, and this got FK banished to the Livid Dead for a couple years, hanging out in the upper levels with Romeo, Shadi, and Goth (kinda).

When Big Mama found him there, she quickly brought him back to the surface and showed the Fairy Council. Betilla is very conflicted about him being back (cuz daddy issues), but she makes a decree that nothing harmful shall be bestowed upon him. So, he can do whatever without being sent back down to the Livid Dead.

Now, onto the school-related parts:

FK has a had a liking for kids ever since he was known as Aurthr Grandur (shameless The Sacred Dream plug sorry-not-sorry). So, when he was allowed back into the royal ranks, he began basically being everyone's royal babysitter when he wasn't listening in on Fairy Council meetings. That's where someone proposed for him to be a teacher, to which he took up the offer.

History has a tendency to be kinda skewed in the Glade, often neglecting the stuff predating Rayman and the rise of the Limbless race along with every other group in the Glade. Stuff that FK went through first-hand. He was not really vibing with the lack of diversity in the schooling.

As the magic school's history teacher, he always makes an effort to share all kind of history, not just Rayman's. This consists of every kind of creature in the Glade and of course his own. He even talks about the fairies as "kids" on occasion too. He is very well-liked amongst his students of all ages. Also, he doesn't give homework and does live-acting demonstrations of certain events with crazy swordsmanship, so bonus points there.

Many adults were wary about what they thought to be a nightmare teaching their kids but grew to appreciate him more b/c of his old-school "fuck around and find out" methods of teaching and discipline. Kids got better when in his class, which was something not that seen prior to him.

And in the background, he tutors students that show an interest in hand-to-hand combat. He loves seeing younger people actually using sharp weapons and learning the powerful method of channeling magic. He's an actually good PE teacher, I always thought those weren't real

Here is his full drip:

Enjoy the essay and have a good one fellas ✌️✌️✌️✌️

[11queensupreme11]

Hi Sweetie ❤️ Heard you were looking for some rankings, so here am I once again... Now that Bloodflood is on hold, let me gather my thoughts. How long can this get 😮‍💨...

First, the ranking based on the anime only:

1) Toji--> I know he's not part of the yanderes but hear me out THIS HOMELESS GROWN-ASS MAN HAS BEEN HAUNTING MY DREAMS, MY DAYS AND MY NIGHTS FOR ALMOST A YEAR, THIS IS NOT FUNNY ANYMOOOOOORE 😰.

2) Suguru--> Me trying my best not to cry seeing my all time favs not being included 🥲. Joke aside, really liked the fact he wanted to "mercy kill" Mizu cause he knew what it was like to be Satoru's prey. Really heartbreaking, my poor babies.

3) Choso--> Well... my type is hard working, muddy guy 😅. Finally we enter the yandere grounds 🥳. Fun Fact: Absolute first jjk man who stole my heart, seeing only 2min of him in season one.

4) Sukuna--> Me looking at my RoR Ranking with Shiva on top 👀💧. What can I say... Four-Armed Men=Best kind of Men, certified Monster-Lover here.

5) Yuuta--> My sweet cutie babyyyy 😭😭 made me scream when we saw him at the end of season 2 with his big ass weirdo eyes...

6) Satoru--> Well... I understand. He's like, bred to be perfect, but I never was any Gojosexual to be honest (all my homies love Toji-).

7) Megumi/Yuuji--> I love them as characters, really, but the ranking is mostly based on the HoRnY... they're adorable, but... not in a sexy kinda way?

8) Kashimo--> To be honest, like every character introduced during the Culling Games (the only exception being Gigami Chadguruma) , this one absolutely never impacted me in any kind of way. I'm utterly neutral about him. Nice buns tho.

That being said... oh boy, time for the Tsunami ranking!

(1) Megumi/Yuuji--> Look at my bois, how sweet they are😭. They climb at the top because I just reaally loved their interactions with Hime. They have yet to disappoint me, and I just feel they would treat her the "best" out of all the suitors. I could be wrong tho. Also the way you write Megumi😳, it made me realise the potential of HoRnY- Was wishing he would fu** her in front of Yuuta's camera-

(2) Sukuna--> I stayed up all night just to read your Shisui flashback. It may be my favorite segment of your story, how talented can you be? Ryomen Sukuna... he is the one who has the most reason to be obsessed with Mizuhime, he helps her with exorcism when Gojo puts her down, he has four arms 🤤... He could have been my favorite but to be honest, I feel like his ending would be the absolute worst for Mizuhime (being the King of Curses, the final antagonist etc...). And I just love her so very much, she needs at least one good ending 😭

(3) Choso--> Ok hear me out- I know I may be biased, we hadn't really seen him yet, but it seems he would be kinda like Yuuji. I think he could treat her well. And he's just so clueless, how cute🥺. I makes me wonder: would he be aware of Yuuji's love for Mizuhime? If so, would he try to be a good "big bro" and support his little brother, or would he be selfish and try to keep her for himself? (I think I already know the answer-)

(4) Satoru--> Like someone famous said: "Certified LoverBoy, Certified Ped******"! Maaaan, no wonder Hime wants him to stay in his box, he's so nasty🤣. Gross, disgusting, pathetic, obsessed, overpowered, terrifying... He's the worst, but he's so funny to read at the same time. Let's not even talk about his Heian counterpart... As I said, I never was a big fan of this character, but with all the Jjk fic I read, I can say your portrayal of Gojo is my favorite in all the FanficVerse. It may be the same with other characters, but especially for him. How dreadful, to be the object of obsession of the Strongest in the World... He is still at the bottom tho, we don't need this creep around Hime ever again.

(5) Kashimo--> I have no expectation with this one, as I've said earlier. The electricity power seems interesting, but honestly write him however you want. Seeing your blog he seems like a little shit too.

(6) YuUtA🤬--> Well... if you paid attention in the Pjo/RoR ranking, you already know where this is going. Don't you wonder, what's the point of the dual rankings anyway? I use this to compare how high can a character climb (Megumi/Yuuji, Loki) and how low can he fall. And man, HOW LOW DID YUUTA FALL. It breaks my heart because during the first part I was the biggest YuutaHime apologist. He has seen her fucked up family, he bought her books, plushies, he was sweeeet 😭... If he was a yandere "on his own", maybe I could have let it slide, but how can you go from "Damn Hime your relatives are a bunch of creepy weirdos" to "No u can't unfiance me uwu cause I'm ✨️Daddy's Special Boy in Law✨️" Do you know what happens when you do shit like that? I'm gonna tell you, you earn the [Whiny Little Bitch] stamp. Actually, maybe it was my fault. Shouldn't have put all my faith on the Panty Stealer to begin with. I may be harsher with him because, unlike Gojo or Sukuna, this kind of yandere is not cartoonish evil. The way he acts (manipulation, baby-trapping, forced union enabled by the relatives), it seems... way more realistic. It's not funny or entertaining, it's just... sad. I don't want my best girl to end up like the 2nd Sanyu. Not to say the way you wrote him is bad, it was the best to show us how much of a LOSER he is. My last words about him: I hope he dies in a meaningless way.

Well well well, that's quiet the long rant. I would like to have your thoughts about it. I know you're currently focused on Arsenic Blues (great last chapter btw, Nubby for life) but I really wanted to share with you my review about Tsunami. Really, your fics are the best stories I've read in a veryyy long time and it's the first time I ever interact with an author, so it means a lot to me. Hope you have a great day, week, month. U dropped this 👑

PS: Pls help me I'm gonna cry in non-english what's the difference between "tho", "though" and "thought"-

omg im so sorry, so "tho" is basically just a shorter way for me to type out "though" and it is not a real word, i'm just lazy LMAO i'm sorry!!!!

"though" is just another way of saying "despite the fact" and "however" -> "even though my mom was angry at me, we still went out to get ice cream!"

and "thought" has two meanings:

noun: an idea/opinion in your head -> "I had just had a thought!"

verb: the action of thinking -> "I thought my answer was wrong!"

NOW ONTO YOUR LIST

i was so shocked that gojo was ranked so high LMAO. I THOUGHT HIS NAME WOULD BE DEAD LAST!

though I can kinda get it since kashimo hasn't been introduced and he's kinda been... eh in the manga (sorry bro), BUT OMG YUTA IS LAST??? I wasn't expecting that. I thought he'd be second last with gojo as last 😂😂

but your explanation makes sense. yuta started out sooo cute (creepy though), and at first he was helping her with her dad....... only to become just like him.

and also "No u can't unfiance me uwu cause I'm ✨️Daddy's Special Boy in Law✨️" 😭😭😭😭😭

honestly, he might as well be calling susanoo "daddy" at this point with how much ass kissing he's been doing 😂😂😂

[s-i-n-i-s-i-n]

Carmen Sandiego

Outfit Ranking Season 2!!!

Here is a link to part 1

We will not rank the outfits that were already ranked in Season 1 and that also appear in Season 2. We will just look at them again because why not? Lets get them out of the way.

Dive suit Rate: Awesome

Mumbai outfit Rate: Sexy

Jammies Rate: Comfy

Red Hoodie Rate: Cool

Red Coat Rate: Hot!

Now that we have seen the already seen awesomeness. Let's get into it.

Number 7: Hospital gown!

...does it count?

I mean, quite unfortunate to be in a hospital. But at least they let her keep her makeup? Cmmon! Those lips are way too red to not be make up. The nurses were like: She's frozen but that doesn't mean she can't be glamorous.

Number 6: Training outfit.

Always protect the face. She will break yours while looking awesome.

Did you notice that triangles are a common thing on her clothes? Should we make a conspiracy theory about it?

Number 5: Russian outfit

A spectre is haunting Europe — the spectre of communism the Red Ghost! привет Comrade Carmen!

She looks fashionably warm!

Number 4: Model dress.

She looks great. Boob window and all. The slit on the skirt. But even more that that: She can fight in heels.

And throw them too. I see she has a thing for throwing shoes.

She looks nice! But if you ask me I prefer the Auction dress from season 1.

Ok now. The three first places!!! But before that, you know it: Three honorable mentions!

Honorable mention #1

The cutest baby ever. My goodness!

She was the best toddler pick pocketer. Probably the only one.

Honorable mention #2

Fashion's latest scream! A very elegant coat made out of... the remains of a glider. Kudos to Carmen for making the best out of an awful situation.

To this day I hate Chief for this. Hate her deeply. Carmen might forgive her but I do not.

Honorable mention #3

Carmen's dream hats. They are imported. They are here because that hat is so iconic it made its way into the subconscious world.

Third Place: Safari outfit.

Oh my glob. Can she look cuter than this? I know it doesn't appreciate here but she is wearing a red belt. Can not be a Carmen outfit without red. Nice very nice outfit. She looks super cool.

And my goodness, those legs!

Second place: Dubai Dress.

This one was difficult for me. I almost gave it the first place, because she looks so damn elegant and sexy! She has a cape, A CAPE! She looks like a woman that anyone would obey at the snap of her fingers.

And a hairdo! And the earrings! Little splashes of red.

Stunning! simply stunning.

First Place: Moto GP

I am biased. I love motorcycles. And I love Carmen. And Carmen in a motorcycle? What else could I ask for?

I may be cheating here because I´m counting the bike as part of the outfit. She looks super hot on a Ducati, sue me.

Look at her going! Vrroooom!!!

So fast. So skilled. So sexy. AAAAaaaahhh! Look at the technique! The counterbalance! She might not now how to drive a car but she surely knows how to ride.

Rock and Ride!

I made so many gifs and I am not sorry. Brrrrhaaaababababammmm! Rrrrev it girl!

Akira style! So good so good. Hoo baby, that's hot!

I'm just curious about where in VILE island could have she learned how to ride a bike. I'm not complaining though.

That's it folks. See you at Season 3 outfit ranking!

[canonically47]

post-DCAS character ranking

18. yul. the worst dsvc character to ever grace our screens. i should not have to explain myself for this, i feel like it goes without saying he's the worst of every cast ever

17. riya. a one-dimensional character who refuses to change. the only reason she's ranked higher than yul is because she's not racist which (virgil sanders voice) that CANNOT be where the bar is.

16. ashley. her entire development was becoming jake's friends and helping in a very small way to get tomjake together. she did nothing for herself, her entire character was just jake's bff and that goes to show how little ONC cares for their female characters

15. ally. the worst development of the season, with the most boring ending, with the least pay-off. how she made finale is beyond me

14. hunter. somehow higher than ally because he was funny

13. tess. higher than both of them but she just existed to me

12. tom. he existed and i still dislike him despite the finale desperately trying to make me not to.

11. connor. a whiny manbaby who achieved nothing this season, whose only role was being there for riya’s drama. genuinely, why did they bring him back if this was all they were going to do with him? only ranked this high because the others behind him are somehow worse or even more boring.

10. lake. similarly to tess, she also just existed. they brought her back just to nerf her like idiots. because guess what if the drama doesn't revolve around a mlm couple then it's not interesting to ONC!

9. miriam. poor queen how you have fallen. decent but deserved more

8. james. consistently funny and good, just wish he had more screentime. others rank higher than him because they actually got some type of development.

7. ellie. pains me to put her this low, she's one of my favorites ever, but i gotta do what i gotta do. she should've gotten better and more believable development. i dearly miss her season one self

6. aiden. he and jake were gay and i don't remember anything else that he did. only ranked this high because he made it far again, played fair, was super entertaining, and his VA is my all-time fav. sue me, i got biases.

5. fiore. she managed to not be ruined my baby <3 she escaped the bad writing so proud of her

4. gabby. it's okay gabby we all know in the better timeline you won the money and helped ellie pursue her dreams. you did your best. yes gabby we are all ignoring how weird the whole evil shadow realm you thing is. we love you too much to blame you for it. that's all ONC. you're innocent. we love you gabby we all say in unison

3. grett. i am sooo happy she got her development this season but by GOD did she need to get her justice earlier. she should've killed yul tbh

2. alec. he was at his worst mid-season, but fuck it, i'm biased and he actually bounced back. he was not likable from beginning to end, but he was a strong player with a consistent and (somewhat) believable character arc. in a better timeline, we got an alec - rosa-maria - grett finale and alec won.

jake. this will come as a shock to anyone who's followed me for a longer time/has seen my early reviews, and even to myself. i never expected myself to like jake as much as i did, but credit is due where credit is due: ONC did something with him this season. he got his development. he became a better person, outgrew his mistakes, befriended those that did him/he did wrong, forgave them and/or made it up to them, and he even got the guy in the end. never thought i'd say this, but jake is probably the best written character in this show, and will be one of the only characters or overall things i will miss about disventure camp seasons 1 & 3.

thank GOD it's over

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The First Doctor's Run

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and sometimes draw comics and cartoons.

So, I’ve made a discovery…Almost every episode of Classic Doctor Who is available FOR FREE on Tubi! You know what this means?!

“More people can watch the early beginnings of the most iconic sci-fi series of all time?”

That AND I can finally review Doctor Who as a whole!

I won’t lie, this has been something I’ve wanted to do for a WHILE. Either as a ranking of each Doctor or a ranking of their best episodes, I’ve been wanting to go in depth with this series for SO LONG. And since the odds are I WON’T become a writer for television like I’ve always dreamed, I might as well talk about my favorite TV shows! Starting with the son of a bitch who started it all: The First Doctor.

Here’s what I know about the First Doctor: Next to nothing. My experience with The Doctor as a whole started all the way with Number Nine, with the only taste of One being through that Christmas Special a few years back. He’s definitely more cynical and rude than present Doctors, but this is way back in his early beginnings. NO ONE knew what direction this character would take years later and just focussed on making an interesting character NOW. Er, then? Now? Then?

Eh, bibbly-bobbly.

The point is that I’m going to TRY and not be biased with One, look at him as if I were right there in 1963. Unfortunately, unlike everyone ELSE in the sixties, I don’t have access to all the episodes. During 1968-1978, most tapes that held Doctor Who episodes were reused for new film or deleted completely for space, leaving NINETY-SEVEN episodes erased from time forever and causing twenty-six serials either gone completely or incomplete. It’s basically what streaming services and studios are doing nowadays, but without pirating sites as a safety net to preserve the art from being COMPLETELY lost. Now, there are some audio tracks saved for commercial release that feature still images or commissioned animation, but that’s not the case for every episode, unfortunately. So things are going to get a little…weird for this review. For now, I’ll say that I’m going to stick to what’s on Tubi and improvise with what’s NOT on there. Also, I’m not going to go through every single episode. Just share my thoughts on each serial as a WHOLE, mainly because those practically add up to modern episodes anyway, just an hour or two longer.

Now, with that said, let’s take a step back in time as we discuss the first adventures with our first Doctor.

Decades Old Spoilers Below

THE SERIALS

We’ll begin by going in order of each serial, starting with his first adventure and ending with his last. Helps go through this journey together.

The Unearthly Child: Okay, full disclosure, this one’s NOT on Tubi, so I had to look it up through…other means. But to be fair, it’s not like I could just IGNORE The Doctor’s very first adventure. It’s here we see a sort of formula that still remains constant to this day. The Doctor meets new companions, they become shocked by how the TARDIS is bigger on the inside, they go to a place that’s filled with a temporary cast of disposable characters, and are forced to solve a problem for them or die trying. Of course, some things are different, and not just the inside of the TARDIS. The fact that The Doctor had a granddaughter was mind blowing and left me wondering what happened to her since she never showed up ONCE in the revival. And The Doctor was…surprisingly inactive despite being the titular character. He caused more problems than fixed them, like being the reason everyone was trapped in the Stone Age and later becoming the person who needed to be rescued. Honestly, Ian proved himself more as the leading man than The Doctor did throughout the whole ordeal, calling the shots and even being the one who came up with the plan that got them OUT of danger. Even when taking account that this was just the show starting out, it seems weird that the titular character isn’t the one who leads the group and is instead the whiney bitch that the others just tell themselves to ignore. As for the adventure, it’s pretty dull. Granted, you need to introduce audiences to the concept of time travel by showing them something easy to grasp like going back to the stone age. You gotta save weirder stuff for the future episodes. But the characters getting chased around by cavemen isn’t really that engaging, and it REALLY drags down a lot by part four where the conflict feels stretched out to meet the full twenty-three minutes. Overall, not that great of a first introduction but most of the best series of television rarely start off perfect. The question is if it makes me want to see more, and…it honestly doesn’t. If not for the knowledge of what the series would eventually become, I’m not sure WHY someone would stick around. But the Doctor Who fan in me is strong so I say we keep charging on.

The Daleks: The first encounter with The Daleks, the Doctor’s WORST enemies, and the serial is much better because of it. It’s actually interesting to see how these villains began with how simple they are to fight, the fact that they don’t INSTANTLY kill others they attack, and how they actually keep PRISONERS. And the serial does a great job at showing how they’re definite menaces to be feared, but not impossible to defeat, creating decent tension as the characters try to fight back literal killing machines. I also love how every character throughout the serial does something important, especially The Doctor who manages to do much more this time than whine and complain as he actually uses his intelligence to help his companions out of this troublesome situation. Although, he’s still the jackass that got them all trapped in this situation all for the sake of exploring a town that they know NOTHING about. There’s definite improvements to his character this time, but The Doctor being the cause for their current conflict is not one of them. And while we’re on complaints, this serial STILL feels like it stretches its adventure out for the sake of making the serial longer than it should be. There’s some definite excitement in the first half with our core four characters trying to escape the Daleks, but this serial still didn’t need to be seven gosh dang episodes long. I feel like there’s some meat to be cut out with making the Thals stand up for themselves, conceiving a plan of attack, and invading the Daleks’ base. Other than that, this is still a pretty decent serial filled with great tension from the Daleks and strong chemistry and dynamics between our core four. It’s definitely stronger than the last serial and a MUCH better introduction to the series. No wonder it’s the one that Tubi has.

The Edge of Destruction: A nice, short mystery where the first half does really well in making you feel as disoriented as the rest of the cast. There’s this solid unease where you’re not sure what’s going on and you’re left to pick up the pieces, bit by bit, to figure out what happened and if there’s anyone or anything responsible for this mess. Although, part two tends to fall a tad short because most of the clues we got were then explained to the audience and then given this big explanation that came out of left field because the biggest clue wasn’t revealed yet. So as a mystery, it definitely isn’t strong. Though, I do like how The Doctor is the one to figure things out and save the day in this serial. Sure, him being antagonistic towards the others wasn’t great but I enjoy how The Doctor has finally warmed up to his companions and that it’s implied that he no longer chooses to be suspicious of them. So while the mystery fell short, I can’t complain when it improves The Doctor’s character.

Marco Polo: Unavailable on Tubi due to the BBC deleting episodes. Yeah, unfortunately, this is our FIRST serial that can’t be seen in its entirety through official means…Though, no one said anything about using transcripts.

HAHA! Loophole! Because while I’m not going to steal audio-only episodes for the sake of reviews, who’s going to stop me from READING. It’s not stealing episodes if I’m just reading what happens! Although, unfortunately, it only gives me a PART of the picture. I won’t understand performances or fully grasp how characters look, but it’s no different from strictly LISTENING. There’s a lot that unfortunately goes missing when a visual media loses its visuals, and for a case like this it’s best to work with what we have. And what I have is the story pretty much described to me by someone else. It’s not preferable, but it IS what I can do for these times. Remember this every time a studio deletes episodes or entire shows off its platforms.

With that said, based on what I’ve read…Yeah, this one DRAGS. It’s The Doctor and company being forced to move from place to place and dealing with Marco Polo as they do. Doesn’t sound too bad, but each place they go to follows a specific formula: Someone does something Polo doesn’t like, he voices displeasure about it, The Doctor and others argue their case, Tegana points out how they’re actually evil, and Marco Polo, who flips from being reasonably cautious and unreasonably stupid, constantly tells them to get out of his face while still dragging them off to the next location. This goes on for SEVEN EPISODES, each one making the whole serial feel way too long and way too repetitive. I kept hoping this would be the end of the serial and we could move on to the next, only for it to KEEP. F**KING. GOING! It’s so dull that I needed TWO DAYS to read through the damn thing. But maybe that’s the problem: I had to READ it. There might be subtleties in the VISUAL performance that better conveys Marco’s personality, even if it DOES seem to flip/flop on paper. Plus, there are some things like the set designs and special effects that a transcript could gloss over and not properly convey. And there are SOME nice bits like The Doctor trying (and failing) to win the TARDIS back in a game of backgammon, which is all kinds of fun. And Susan made an endearing friendship with Ping-Cho. Those two are surprisingly adorable together and it’s nice to see Susan make a connection with someone her own age. Other than that, though, if this wasn’t that great of a story on paper, the original serial better have some MIND BLOWING execution to make it great. Otherwise, maybe fans aren’t losing much if this serial is lost to time.

The Keys of Marinus: A pretty clever idea with this one. The story for this serial is that The Doctor and his companions are out searching for the titular Keys of Marinus, presenting a story that’s a fetch-quest, with each episode dedicated to the characters finding one key. It’s smart because instead of stretching out one adventure to make the serial longer, it connects four adventures through this loose thread, keeping audience interest up as everyone tries to get out of the danger of the week. It’s fairly effective, filled with great moments like Barbara trying to save the core four from being brainwashed into mindless zombies, the entirety of “The Snows of Terror,” and The Doctor solving a murder. It’s all good fun, but not without some problems. An episode like “The Screaming Jungle” feels like it needs more time as there’s a lot of ideas that don't live up to its full potential or come out of nowhere. Like, a living jungle SOUNDS cool, but it only really comes into fruition until the end. There’s also the fact that the search for the last key feels stretched out because the writers didn’t realize soon enough that the finale for this serial was too short so they made the final hunt longer to compensate. But what bothers me the most is that The Doctor just…leaves the hunt just to spend time in a more civilized society. It works out for the murder mystery, but it also feels weird that the titular character bows out for two whole episodes, leaving his companions to do all of the work he neglects. Honestly, at this point, I’d say Ian should be the one the show is named after with how well he leads the party and even comes up with a clever plan to stop the big bads. And I know I keep harping on it, but why name the show Doctor Who when that same doctor hardly helps? Still, “The Keys of Marinus” is a fun serial that leads to solid short tales, even if there were some rough steps along the way.

The Aztecs: Oh, this one’s racist, isn’t it…? You know what? I’m as white as a ping-pong ball and have the patience of a goldfish to do proper research myself to make any judgments to decide something that I have no official standing on. So I won’t be the one to say what is and isn’t racist…Aside from the fact that those are obviously WHITE people playing the Aztecs.

But possible racism aside, this serial is more on the dull side. I do like this conflict between The Doctor and Barbara, where Barbara tries to change history for what she thinks is for the better (Which means changing the history and culture of Aztecs–Let’s not get into it) where The Doctor tries to convince her that there’s no way to change history. Future episodes continue to dive deep into the idea that history cannot be altered no matter what the characters want, and it’s interesting to see one of the first instances where the characters learn this the hard way. I also love how it ends on this idea that while they couldn’t change what happened, they still touched the lives of those they’ve made relationships with, meaning that it ALL wasn’t a loss. It’s a shining light of optimism within the tragedy that becomes a reoccuring theme through a lot of future episodes, and I love it each time. But other than that, this serial is another one that DRAGS. It’s just The Doctor and his companions screwing around with Aztecs for two hours while this boring subgroup conspired against them. It makes the whole serial feel like it’s running in place for too long, and I feel like if it cut out ONE episode or maybe shorten it down to two, the serial could be stronger for it. It’s also weird how Barbara is, like, a different person in this. Like, I get it, she’s acting like a goddess, but she seems TOO good at her performance, almost as if the writers wrote her as an ACTUAL goddess and not a character PRETENDING to be one. It feels off a lot of the time, and it’s just one more thing that makes this serial weak. Even though I like the idea of characters trying to fight hard to change history, that’s something done MUCH better in the future. It’s a charming first attempt, but not one I’m willing to revisit.

The Sensorites: A pretty…substandard serial. The titular Sensorites start off pretty scary and intimidating, being unlike anything the show has produced so far in this run. It presents a bit of uncanny horror for a good while…But then the serial reveals that they’re mostly peaceful creatures, aside from a few devious outliers, who actually need help. It’s a decent twist that also leads to The Doctor being the most active he’s ever been. The way he goes about finding a cure for this mysterious illness and taking charge in dealing with any dangerous Sensorite made it feel like, for the first time, he deserves to have the show named after him. I like it…but it doesn’t stop the serial feeling like it’s a little aimless at times, almost as if it’s drifting by for six episodes. We get some good stuff from it, but storywise it feels like we’re just bouncing from scene to scene as if the writers are making stuff up as they go and presenting coincidences that foil some villains’ plans. And then there’s this out of nowhere idea that this subgroup of humans lived under the Sensorites for so long, but there was never any indication of this and it’s presented in the VERY LAST episode, making it an almost pointless idea that went nowhere. I’m glad to see The Doctor become more  of a leading man, but I would have preferred it in a better, more coherent serial.

The Reign of Terror: MOST of the serial is intact…aside from two episodes. Meaning that it’s incomplete and not available on Tubi, so…ONTO THE TRANSCRIPT!

On paper, this whole thing seems like a drag. It starts interestingly enough with The Doctor being separated from his companions as they’re taken prisoner during the French Revolution. It leads to Ian, Barbara, and Susan trying to escape while The Doctor tries to reunite with them (instead of pissing off for half the serial), creating this situation where everyone’s putting in the work as they share the same goal. The problem is that, like the REST of the serials before, the characters fart around for too long just to stretch the story out to reach a goal. They will escape and then get recaptured for the sake of forced tension, and by the time Susan and Barbara were in prison again I just wanted the serial to come close to an end. Thankfully, by then, there were two episodes left, but it doesn’t change how it’s all two episodes too long. The only thing to catch my intrigue later was Barbara wishing they could help Robespierre from getting killed and The Doctor reminding her that they can’t change history. I still love an idea like that, but here, it happens near the very end and there’s barely enough time to appreciate it or dive deep into it. In fact, this could have been a great “Can’t mess with the past” episode, but it’s just…the characters trying to escape a situation and spending too long on it. The worst part is that this is the Season One finale, the time to go for broke, and it’s just…the same old thing with the same old problems as previous serials. Maybe it worked better visually or even through audio, but on paper it’s just as slow and boring as ever. Hopefully the next season starts big.

Planet of Giants: Huh. Guess it did. Just…literally.

Jokes aside, I am impressed with the set design in this serial. I can tell everyone worked so hard to set the scale, making you feel how small these characters are. Sure, you can tell exactly HOW it was done, but for the sixties this all must have been mind blowing work, especially for a TV show. As for the story, it’s…adequate. The characters are trying to prevent these two men from making an insecticide that could do more harm than good while also trying to find their way back to the TARDIS to reverse their size. It’s not the BIGGEST (ha) danger in the world and it’s something they could have stopped easily at normal size. If they focussed on growing again, they could have stopped the main evil prick within seconds, so the majority of the serial is just them messing around by trying to stop him while they’re an inch tall. And there’s also the fact that Barabara held the idiot ball throughout the serial, touching something in a lab when she shouldn’t have and keeping that information to herself for far too long. Like, WHY didn’t she tell the others she was infected with the insecticide? We never got an answer for that and it’s kind of frustrating as it adds unnecessary tension to a serial that doesn’t really need it. The characters trying to get big again is more than enough, we don’t need a nefarious plot about an insecticide gone wrong or one of the characters getting sick from it. But while the story definitely could use some improvements, the set design really does carry it, being an impressive visual display even if it’s for an inferior serial.

The Dalek Invasion of Earth: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, so THAT’S what happened to Susan…Anyways, the best way I could describe this serial is two steps forward and one step back. The cinematography is impressive, looking like a feature film at times with dynamic shots and cool ways that the camera follows the characters. BUT the direction seems to be all over the place. Most of the time, it’s fine, but then you get stuff like actors interrupting or talking over each other or moments where peripheral view is…not a thing. There’s even a part where a Dalek is looking RIGHT AT THE DOCTOR as it’s moving away…and it just continues moving onward as if nothing happened. It’s actually kind of hilarious at times. And speaking of the Daleks, this serial did a great job showcasing how threatening and evil they can really be. The twisted way they used humans as slaves to destroy a planet is sick and seeing how that broke the human mind and ruined their families proved that the Daleks are nothing to be messed with. The problem is that the serial shows how easily they can be messed with. Like, even if they doubt the intelligence of normal Earth people, it’s not a smart plan to have a way for them to escape their prison cell WITHIN THE CELL ITSELF! And how is it that they can blast away people no problem but struggle with the robot slaves they made? I don’t know how it’s possible, but this serial manages to make these tin salt shakers MORE and LESS terrifying. On the upside, our heroes are at least competent in this adventure. Much like the last encounter with the Daleks, everyone does something of value, only this time they’re all split up to accomplish their own task that actually helps the others in a way they wouldn’t expect. It DOES feel like some plot lines are a little aimless with some of our cast waffling about a little longer than they should, but it all leads to a great ending when they reunite once more. 

And, of course, there’s the sad departure of Susan. It’s performed well and does a decent job of making me FEEL a little sad when The Doctor allows Susan to leave so she can live a life of her own without being forced to travel everywhere with him. I liked it…though I do have issues with how the reason that she wants to leave is because she fell in love with a man she’s known for a few days. It’s part of the writing of the sixties, I know that, but it doesn’t change how WEIRD it feels that Susan is willing to give up everything she knows for someone she recently met. So while I enjoyed the scene, it felt very flawed, which is the same for the whole serial. I enjoyed it a lot, but there were a few imperfections here and there that made “The Dalek Invasion of Earth” a messy, albeit fun, serial.

The Rescue: This was a blessedly short serial. The big twist was fairly easy to figure out after Part One, and if this serial was stretched out for more than two parts it would hurt it significantly. We don’t need four parts of the characters farting around, picking up little clues, and then solving the big crisis within minutes. So having the story last for about two episodes leaves for a brief adventure that works well on its own while also introducing the audience to Vicki. And I’ll admit…I’m not too sure about Vicki in this serial. She comes across as a less competent Susan who cries more and doesn’t have the same intrigue Susan did as being The Doctor’s granddaughter. It’s obvious that she’s there as a replacement for the “The Young One” in the group and it doesn’t work for me. What DOES work is how The Doctor is presented, as he acts much more like The Doctor I know now. He’s active towards figuring out what’s going on, caring towards Vicki and consoling her when she needs it, and is the one to confront Bennett in the climax of the serial. I do like how it’s sort of a slow burn with The First Doctor, showing him eventually grow from the bitter old man who couldn’t care less about anyone else to a more kind and proactive character due to the adventures he went on with his companions and the people that they meet. I still say it was off to name the show after the guy who didn’t do much, but The Doctor’s slowly earning his role as the leading man and I enjoyed that this is one of the earlier starts of them becoming the hero we know now. So while this is a standard serial, it does give us one of the better presentations of The First Doctor.

The Romans: *INSERT DATED ROMAN EMPIRE JOKE HERE*

Anywho, this one’s pretty entertaining. There’s basically two sides of this serial’s story: The Doctor and Vicki hanging out with Nero and his hysterical nonsense and Ian and Barbara being stuck in the slave trade…Yeah, probably sounds like the tones would heavily clash with this one, but it surprisingly flows well. You laugh at the hijinks of The Doctor acting as a close friend towards Nero while feeling empathy for Barbara and Ian as they’re forced into the worst possible position in Rome. There’s even equal attention to both plotlines, making them balance each other out fairly well that leads to the serial feeling fast but fun. The only thing that drags it down is how it begins and ends. The cut between the TARDIS falling and The Doctor and Ian chilling out in Roman attire felt jarring. Same goes for the reveal that they willingly stayed in Rome for a whole month instead of focussing all attention on fixing the TARDIS. I suppose it would come across as a pleasant holiday, but then they say they’ve been hanging out in someone else’s house while they were away and that’s…odd. It’s odd that it worked out like that for a whole month. Same goes with the ending, where The Doctor feels giddy at causing the fire of Rome. Even for the First Doctor, it doesn’t seem right that they would take joy in causing such destruction and mayhem. But aside from the problems in the beginning and the end, everything in the middle of the serial offered great entertainment for a pleasant viewing for me.

The Web Planet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY EARS! For whatever bizarre reason or another, SOMEONE decided to give these giant ants the most ear-piercingly irritating sound for how they communicate. It was already grating by the first episode, yet they still thought it was a good idea to use the same sound, continuously, FOR SIX EPISODES! Halfway through the third, I genuinely considered skipping the rest of the serial entirely because I couldn’t STAND those f**king ants! Thankfully, I remembered that subtitles were a thing, so I just played the rest of the serial on mute and just read the subtitles. Trust me when I say that is the only way to make the damn thing watchable. And even then, it’s not that great of a serial anyways. It’s the characters helping these anthropomorphic bugs with slightly less annoying (but still pretty annoying) voices in a rebellion against the ants. I’m all about it, because screw those things, but it’s still a bog-standard adventure with some admittedly impressive costumes and effects for the time. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I couldn’t stand LISTENING to this episode, but I would have been completely fine if this was one of the few serials lost to time.

The Crusade: Speaking of which, HALF of this serial is missing and not on Tubi either. So ONTO THE TRANSCRIPTS (Gosh dang it…)

I think the problem with this serial is made clear with how it begins. We have new characters talking about political nonsense as if we, the audience, should already know the context of what they’re saying. Then when we’re introduced to the core four, they’re thrown into the middle of a battle with no proper set-up that their conflict of Barbara getting kidnapped happened so fast that it barely registers. This slow pace of boring politics with characters we don’t know and fast paced attempts of Barbara trying to escape her kidnappers remains throughout this whole serial. MAYBE it was handled better visually, but the way the serial constantly introduces new characters to discuss politics while The Doctor and his companions are barely there makes the whole thing feel like its priorities are disjointed. There should be more focus on Barbara trying to escape while the others go out to save her, but there’s so much attention on the politics and trying so hard to be historically accurate or whatever and it…doesn’t keep my interest. Not to mention that the constant new characters to keep track of as they steal attention is not all that entertaining and causes the whole serial to seem like it forgets who the show’s really about. I just wanted it all to end, as I feel like this is one of those serials that aren’t better on paper nor through execution.

The Space Museum: This one starts off pretty confusing, first intentionally and then unintentionally. I’m just as lost as the characters are, wondering what happened to them and what’s to come of it. It effectively puts me in the mindset the serial wants me to have, but then they give this explanation that just makes my brain hurt when I try to think about it too long and hard. Thankfully, the premise that the serial tries to sell is simple enough to shrug off the nonsense of time and relative dimension or whatever the hell. Basically, The Doctor and his companions saw a vision of what COULD BE their future, and the whole serial is them trying to make sure that never comes to be. It’s a solid premise that’s effectively tense in a lot of scenes as the characters seemingly get closer to what could be an inevitable future. Added with some fun moments of The Doctor being a giggly old goof as he screws with his enemies and it’s a fun time. The only weak part is this subplot involving the most ineffective rebellion I’ve ever seen, where it’s a miracle that they survived this long until they received help from Vicki of all characters. Though, even then, the subplot does well to show how independent Vicki can be in a situation AND adds to the theme that a person’s future can be changed if they changed the lives of others. It’s a decent message that helps make the serial a surprisingly good time. And yeah, that ending sting made me excited for the next one. Speaking of…

The Chase: This was…not what I was expecting. In the last two encounters with The Daleks, it was a big, tense adventure with the characters struggling to find a way to beat them. Here, it’s more like “The Keys of Marinus,” a collection of small adventures as the characters are chased through space and time as they try to escape The Daleks. It’s less of an epic adventure and more of a mixed bag of fun escapades and…awkward distractions. For example, watching the characters get stuck in a haunted house or fighting a robotic Doctor can be entertaining, but them interacting with this weird, underground civilization or this man from Alabama just drag it to a halt. Thankfully, the worst of it is only in the first half, making it a serial that starts slow but picks up momentum as things go on. There’s also some decent money put into this, having some impressive sets that change each episode, some crazy special effects for the sixties (the part where there’s two Doctors still looks good), and some creative camera angles that give a more cinematic feel. I dare say that this would be an impressively put together serial that is mostly fun despite some awkwardness.

But the real meat of this is that “The Chase” ends with the departure of Ian and Barbara. I will admit, the pacing upon their exit felt a bit too fast, with their decision to leave coming out of nowhere and their return home not giving us enough time to appreciate them appreciating Earth. Although, as weird as the pacing is, The Doctor’s heartbreak to see them go is well-acted and believable. You can tell that he’s less upset about the risk that comes with using The Daleks’ time machine and more upset about the idea that they want to leave in the first place. It’s odd that he feels more upset over two humans than his granddaughter, but this is still a moment that introduces the tragedy of The Doctor. They’re a character that’s always on the move, going from one part of the universe to the next and having to say goodbye to every friend and companion they ever make. They WANT to keep company, but know that their companion’s departure is always inevitable. Yet it breaks their heart just the same. I FEEL that tragedy here way more than with Susan, where The Doctor seemed more than willing to let her live her life. But with Ian and Barbara, these two humans who left an impact on him, they’ll stick with The Doctor’s heart for a long time.

The Time Meddler: The premise of this one is great. A time-traveler disguised as a monk is screwing with time to make himself the most important person in the universe. And The Doctor, being the biggest defender of time and space, tries to stop him. It’s a perfect idea that fits perfectly with who The Doctor is while giving him a true foil that he won’t have again until meeting The Master. It’s actually a ton of fun watching what’s basically the Beta Master trying to mess with history just for the pure selfish reasons of self-importance. And I do say that the serial perfectly captures that idea…by Part Four. Yeah, the majority of the first three parts are about hinting at what The Monk has been doing and padding out the runtime with characters screwing around in the woods or the monastery. By the time we get to Part Four, it does work well with the premise, having The Doctor and The Monk try and outsmart each other for victory with The Doctor, of course,  coming out on top. And I’ll admit that it was great seeing The Doctor take charge without someone else stealing the show as the leading man. What, do you think that the new guy STEVEN is going to take Ian’s place as the take-charge companion? Get the hell out of here…

But, yeah, while the first three parts DRAG, “The Time Meddler” at least ends on a high enough note where I say it was worth the watch. I’ll likely only return to that final episode instead of watching the whole thing, but what are you gonna do?

Galaxy 4: Unfortunately, this is another that’s been deleted from history. HOWEVER, it’s still on Tubi…Sort of. Because the audio logs are still intact, they had the whole serial reanimated by Digitoonz Media & Entertainment. And it’s…distracting. Not because the animation is bad. I mean, yeah, it’s not GREAT, but what’s distracting about it is that the animators tried their hardest to give this serial a cinematic feel, having grandiose backgrounds and doing things the actors and set designers wouldn’t be capable of doing. It’s entertaining to see, but leaves me questioning what the original episodes would have looked like. Because there is NO WAY this animation is an EXACT reenactment of what happens. But I’m not really complaining because there are some good stuff that comes from making this serial animated, like having all of Maaga’s forces exact copies of one another or actually seeing the destruction of the planet as Maaga is forced to watch it fall apart around her. I like a lot of this stuff, despite the distractions. As for the story, it feels blessedly quick, albeit simple. I saw the twist of Maaga and her weird ass clones being the real evil a mile away, but this WAS likely one of the first instances when a story presents the nice looking creatures as evil where the ugly looking ones are good. I can give it a little leeway for that, especially since “Galaxy 4” makes it clear that it’s MAAGA who’s the real villain whereas her clones are more or less drones following orders to appease their crooked master. There’s actually a bit of tragedy to the clones where they don’t get a chance to think on their own and do what their master says because it’s all they know. It effectively makes you feel bad for them as you also feel grateful that Maaga dies knowing it was all for nothing. And, again, it all goes by fairly quickly, making a serial that feels short and to the point. I couldn’t ask for better and I REALLY wish there were more lost episodes that were animated. Would have at least made for a more unique experience than reading transcripts to ones that are lost.

Mission to the Unknown: Speak of the devil! At least it’s only ONE episode…And a pretty decent one at that.

This is the first time where we don’t follow The Doctor or any of their companions, but instead some one-off characters. This would happen on occasion, with one of the most popular examples being the episode “Blink,” showing great tension as we watch these characters try to survive without a Doctor to save them. It’s no different here, as “Mission to the Unknown” features two men trying to warn the galaxy of a master plan of the Daleks, setting up a future serial while also standing well on its own for a quick adventure that ends in unfortunate death. It doesn’t give us enough time to really CARE about them, but that might have something to do with me reading it too fast. It’s still a solid episode that leaves one fearing for what’s to come later.

The Myth Makers: And another for the transcripts. Son of a bitch…

It’s not easy to tell strictly through text, but I think this is meant to be a more comedic adventure. In past serials like “Marco Polo” and “The Crusade,” they bore me by forcing in politics and dull characters, likely for the sake of “Historical accuracy.” Here, it’s The Doctor and his companions dealing with idiots on both sides of the Trojan War, with historical accuracy most definitely thrown out the window as people are more familiar with the version in Homer’s Odyssey. It is much more entertaining to see The Doctor try to appeal to the whims of a meathead like Odysseus and watching Priam and his family bicker about Cassandra and the legitimacy of her visions, rather than getting lost in the politics. It’s fun, but I’m curious if it’s meant to be. You have obvious comedic moments like Steven’s quickly failed rescue attempt and Menelaus wanting a drink after hearing The Doctor’s Trojan Horse plan, but the majority of the lines also don’t strike me as TOO humorous. That’s largely because the way an actor delivers a line versus how it’s written can give two different reactions, and it’s why READING the lines doesn’t leave as big of a comedic punch as hearing an actor say it in a funny way.

“Well, then listen to the audio versions.”

I’VE READ SO MANY TRANSCRIPTS AT THIS POINT! I’M IN TOO DEEP NOW!

But I will say that if the point WAS to make this adventure more comedic, then it makes the inevitable fall of Troy feel all the more tragic. I didn’t want the Trojans to die! They were FUNNY! And because they made me laugh a little, it hurt seeing them killed, even if I should have expected from the beginning.

One thing I didn’t expect, though, was that this was Vicki’s departure. Which I wouldn’t have minded if not for how it’s weirdly unceremoniously done. There’s no final goodbye and it feels like it breezes past The Doctor saying he’ll miss her. And her reasoning is just…dull. She leaves because she liked a boy, much like how SUSAN left. I guess there WAS a bit of foreshadowing given how Priam changes Vicki’s name to Cressida, a female character in retellings of the Trojan War who famously falls for Troilus. But even then, it still feels weak and even strange that Vicki would willingly choose to stay in a time she doesn’t live in for Troilus, a boy she knew for about two days. I know it’s something that just…happens back then in 60s fiction, but makes for an off addition to an already entertaining serial.

The Daleks’ Master Plan: SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, this is the LONGEST serial yet! Possibly the longest serial in the show’s history! And the weirdest part is that only three episodes of it still exist, which is crazy not only because of the length but also because it features The Daleks. Even back then, it’s pretty clear that The Daleks are the fan favorite villains of the series, with the writers inserting them in when they can. And you would think that major characters such as them would be more valuable to protect, but no. All we have are mostly audio logs…And transcripts for yours truly.

Which is a shame too, because…this is a frickin’ GOOD one! Quite possibly the best serial I’ve ever read yet! The plot is basically characters playing keep away from each other, chasing after this insanely impressive element that The Daleks want to use for another doomsday weapon. And I just loved that the second The Doctor saw The Daleks, he knew that they needed to be stopped. He wasn’t forced into it or was trying to survive The Daleks attacking first. After three whole adventures of dealing with them, The Doctor finally put two and two together to realize that The Daleks just existing is enough to know that nothing good can come from it. So he takes charge on an adventure that’s definitely a little too long but reads as incredibly grand. It’s sort of a repeat of “The Chase,” where The Doctor and company go from place to place, planet to planet, so they can avoid The Dalek’s capture, but there’s some things that make this serial stronger. For one, the stakes feel real this time, with characters who assist The Doctor and Steven on their journey getting killed unceremoniously or tragically. You’re given enough time with Bret, Katarina, and Sara that when they meet their end for the sake of saving the group, it makes you feel a little something. The whole serial comes to a close with this idea that while victory was met in the end, The Doctor and Steven still take a moment to reflect on the lives they lost to win. It really sets how grim and deadly this adventure was, showing characters could die whether they’re ones you care about or even enemies to The Doctor. Speaking of, this serial also works in giving more unique foes outside of STRICTLY The Daleks. You have Chen, an arrogant and egotistical dilweed who’s maniac drive to be ruler of the Universe and doing anything to get it makes you enjoy his untimely demise all the more. There’s even a surprise return of The Monk, who sets himself more as this pathetic failure of a villain as he stumbles constantly to one-up The Doctor only to be outsmarted every turn. Both mix things up well while also making it clear that The Daleks are the real threats as Chen and The Monk follow every command due to fearing for their safety. It helps make the serial feel like a more unique adventure compared to past ones with The Daleks, adding more life, energy, and intensity to it. The only time I was taken out of the whole thing was this random Christmas special that got inserted halfway through. It distracted from the plot way too long and was filled with jokes that were probably funny VISUALLY and maybe AUDIBLY, but not so much when you’re reading it…like I did. Still, that’s ONE episode in a twelve episode long serial. Being entertained with eleven out of twelve episodes is still a great feat that makes “The Daleks’ Master Plan” a masterclass serial. Now can we go back to actually WATCHING these episodes again?

The Massacre: Guess not…

And this one’s one of the worst, if not THE worst. “The Massacre” has the same problems as “The Crusade.” So much of this serial is focussing on the politics of the historical event taking place, watching these characters you barely give a shit about with the main cast you love getting pushed to the sidelines. Except that while “The Crusade” had the charming cast of THE DOCTOR, Ian, Barbara, and even Vicki, “The Massacre” focuses on Steven. And I’ll get into the specifics in a moment, but I do NOT care for Steven. So to have four episodes focusing on boring historical politics and a character I do not like, it’s pretty easy to pick up why I dislike this serial the most out of all of them. I’m not kidding when I say that the best part about it is the moment where it seemed like Steven was leaving. Before you say anything, it’s not because it gave me hope that Steven was gone for good…Okay, it’s partially because of that, but it’s mostly because of this moment where The Doctor reflects on the people in his life and how he misses them. He even corrects HIMSELF when getting Ian’s last name wrong, showing us that he cares enough to get it right now because he misses his friend. It’s a bittersweet moment that proves how much The Doctor loves each companion they’ve made, even the first few people they’ve met in this first life. It was beautiful…and then it got undercut immediately to introduce Dodo and shove Steven back in as he changed his mind. The one thing I liked about this serial, and it’s ruined by itself. Yeah, this one’s definitely the worst, and I’m not missing it.

The Ark: FINALLY, something I don’t have to READ!

“The Ark” surprised me for a second. I knew going in that it was a four-part-long serial, but by the time Part Two met its end I was confused. It seemed like the story was wrapping up as The Doctor and company cured a ship of the common cold and went off to a new adventure. Only for the TARDIS to appear in the same exact spot many years later with a new problem caused by their actions in the past. Already, I love this premise. We almost never return to the same place twice with The Doctor, where after they save people from this great threat they always head off, assuming everything is fine. This is the first time we actually see what happened to the people that The Doctor saved, only to find out something worse happened to them. It’s a solid premise with good enough execution. I like that this whole thing started with an accident. Dodo just happened to have a cold and didn’t expect the consequences that could come to a species that never experienced it. It puts The Doctor and company in a situation where you don’t BLAME them for what happened but you understand that they have to clean up this mess they caused. I also find it brilliant that the first half of the serial has The Doctor and his companions dealing with rouge Guardians and the second is rouge Monoids, giving this message that both parties aren’t innocent creatures and that peace can only be made when they learn to live together instead of treating one species as slaves. It’s a bit muddled as we don’t really see much of the extent that the Guardians treat the Monoids and how disrespected they are. It gives the idea that the creepy-looking creatures who look different are more at fault, especially since the human Guardians are the ones who assist The Doctor in both halves. There’s never any assistance from the Monoids, which makes it feel like peace might not be the best option. I wouldn’t harp on it if not for the fact that several serials back in “Galaxy 4,” we had the same message of “The ugly ones aren’t evil” with decent results. Still, the idea and meaning is clear as no one’s really, wholly good. Just could have used some cleaning up on showing the good side of the Monoids, making “The Ark” having a strong story ARC.

HAHAHA–Kill me. Next one!

The Celestial Toymaker: All but the last part of this serial is missing, so…onto the transcripts.

I mean it, kill me.

(I don’t actually mean it. Just…been doing this for a while)

This serial introduces The Toymaker, a character that would only reappear once more…fifty-seven years later with the incomparable Niel Patrick Harris playing the role. And speaking as someone who got introduced to this character through NPH doing random accents and a random ass dance sequence to “Spice Up Your Life,” I wasn’t sure what to expect from the version in the sixties. Turns out, while he’s not as bombastic and jovial as Niel Patrick Harris, The Toymaker is still the most unique villain that The Doctor and others have come across so far. The Doctor isn’t kidding when he says that The Toymaker loves using people as his playthings, sending out dolls, board games, playing cards, and all sorts of other traps to entertain himself with The Doctor and his companions. And while Steven and Dodo aren’t the best duo in the world,, they’re at least paired up with despicable and hilariously incompetent antagonists as The Toymaker sends out his toys against them. You’re entertained by them, but at the same time you feel bad for them when they fail because they’re all trapped souls captured by The Toymaker. Or are they? The serial cleverly keeps you guessing whether or not these toys were once people, leaving it up to interpretation on if it’s all a part of a trick he’s playing. It adds a bit of tragedy to the goofs and gags, which I certainly appreciate. Then you have The Doctor’s game with The Toymaker that adds intensity, as he’s trying his best to stall to win the game until Steven and Dodo find the TARDIS. And, sure, I would have loved MORE to actually SEE The Doctor beat The Toymaker in a battle of wits as opposed to watching Steven and Dodo going through a goofy, silly adventure, I’m not complaining too much for the end result. “The Celestial Toymaker” is still an incredibly entertaining serial that has every character working well together to survive and being competent as they win their own game. Although, I do have to call nonsense towards Fourteen in “The Giggle.” Saying that cheating is the last thing The Toymaker would do when that’s all he does in this serial…Nonsense.

The Gunfighters: This serial finds the characters in a wild, wild west adventure, and this one’s definitely meant to be a more entertaining ride rather than an epic adventure with huge stakes. You’ve got fun stuff like Steven being forced to sing at gunpoint, an outlaw playing dentist as he rips out The Doctor’s tooth, Dodo fainting as she attempts to hold a man at gunpoint, and British people trying to do western accents. It’s definitely a good time, but it also feels like the writers leaned too hard into this being a western. All the tropes and cliches seem present and it’s definitely enjoyable, but it doesn’t feel like a Doctor Who story. The characters are pretty much in the background as we follow the narrative threads of these outlaws and a sheriff. Sure, they’re entertaining as well and don’t make the serial drag like “The Crusade” and “The Massacre” did, but at the cost of abandoning who we really follow this series for: The Doctor and his companions. What’s crazy is that ten (eleven?) regenerations later, The Doctor would go on another wild west adventure, facing down a space robot playing bounty hunter as The Doctor protects a town that’s inexperienced with this kind of threat. Not only does that episode have a concept that works perfectly for this show but it makes the story revolve around The Doctor and his companions trying to save this town. In “The Gunfighters,” The Doctor and company are pretty much absent for most of the story, either being dragged along by characters with more narrative importance, or stepping out of the entire climax. And yes, there are instances when the show follows random characters for the entirety of a story, but that’s still done in a way that it feels like it matches the show. Like how in “Mission of the Unknown,” where we follow characters trying desperately to stop The Daleks. Goofy or intense sci-fi nonsense and seeing The Doctor and co. reacting to history is what makes Doctor Who one of the most engaging science fiction shows ever made. While a western can be entertaining, something like “The Gunfighters” tends to make you forget what show you’re watching.

The Savages: Deleted. And a shame too, because this is another good one. The concept of this civilized society using living people as an energy source is already chilling, and the serial does well in showing how messed up it is for the supposed Savages. Though, if this was written in Modern Doctor Who, I feel like  the results of this power draining would be MUCH darker. Especially if Steven Moffat wrote the episode (The sick bastard). As is, it’s still great with how they made the power draining as dark as it could be for the sixties, all while adding a classist message that still manages to work NOW with its themes of the high and mighty sucking the life of what they think is savage. I love it and I also adore how The Doctor quickly picked up on how sick this whole idea is, wanting to shut the whole thing down immediately. THAT’S The Doctor I know, and it’s pretty fun that what saved the day is their leader taking some of The Doctor’s essence. Even when temporarily beaten, The Doctor still wins.

It’s all pretty great, but do you wanna know what’s better? STEVEN! IS! GONE!

Again, I’ll get to WHY later, but I am so glad to see Steven go. He wasn’t really the best companion out there and it is pretty nice that in his last adventure with The Doctor it’s all about Steven finally learning how to be useful. It’s to better sell that he’d be a capable leader to these people and…under his leadership, they’d probably die, but I can take it. Seeing Steven gone makes me willing to accept any nonsense of making him a leader and it’s nice that the show lets him leave with dignity. Even with the worst companions, it’s great the show at least treats them as people and lets ones like Steven leave happy enough instead of injecting him out the airlock or something. His departure is very welcomed and makes this serial stand out a little higher.

The War Machines: The final serial available on Tubi, and it’s…alright? Yeah, I honestly have no strong feelings one way or the other towards this one. The premise itself is what I love to see in Doctor Who, as this machine meant to help humanity ends up wanting to conquer it, with The Doctor being a key factor in securing the victory only to become the machine’s downfall. It’s all decent enough, with actors doing well at portraying these disturbingly obedient human puppets and there being some impressive puppetry on display with WANTON’s war machines. But as decent as it all is, none of it really WOWED me. The techno babble that The Doctor used to explain how he outsmarted and bested the war machines lost me due to how convoluted it was. Same goes for how WANTON was able to hypnotize human beings. I don’t even know if it was ever explained because of how much non-scientific science was thrown in this entire serial. It’s the central part of this entire premise, and it makes little sense how a computer was able to hypnotize anyone, even if it was supposedly advanced.

Another thing that bothers me about this serial is that this is supposed to be Dodo’s exit. She’s out for half the adventure and doesn’t even get to say goodbye in person. She just takes a nap, lets her replacements do most of the work, and then she’s gone for good. It feels cheap and gives her the weakest exit out of any companion in this run. Possibly the weakest exit ever. It’s another little aspect that makes the serial not BAD but not outstanding, either.

The Smugglers: Not much to say about this one. Just a fast romp as The Doctor and his companions fend off pirates in their hunt for a legendary treasure. It drags a little bit and there’s a lot of flip-flopping in terms of certain characters’ loyalty, but it has some fun moments, like The Doctor outsmarting opponents and Ben and Polly proving their worth as companions fairly quickly. Not a spectacular adventure, but entertaining enough.

The Tenth Planet: Here it is. The final serial in the First Doctor’s run…And it’s incomplete.

Yeah, the final adventure with William Hartnell’s Doctor, and you can’t see it in its entirety. You can watch the first three parts, but the fourth? Not a chance. It’s quite disappointing and, you know what? If I could cheat with his first adventure, I can cheat with his last. Let’s use “other means” than Tubi to watch those first three episodes and read what happens next.

And I’ll just say…it’s ALMOST perfect. It has a STRONG premise, introducing the Cybermen, a longtime enemy of The Doctor. It was so fascinating to see how humanlike these monsters began, moving and speaking like everyday men just with a slight robotic lean to it. It actually makes the more robotic, emotionless Cybermen more chilling in the modern age as it now becomes clear that the Cybermen perfected their goal to be more robot than human. The serial also cleverly makes it where the Cybermen aren’t the ONLY threat. I truly love that the bitter and impulsive General Cutler is just as much of an antagonist as the Cybermen are, with his desire to kill them before they kill Earth being potentially more damaging if he ever got away with his plans. It goes along with a recurring theme of this show in the modern age where those who try to be the victor in an unnecessary war tend to destroy themselves. Cutler dies because he attracted Cybermen attention with the warhead and the Cybermen die because their planet burned up when they could have asked for assistance with their problem instead of destroying the Earth for survival. It’s handled really well, with Polly and Ben still continuing to be useful additions to the cast as they do all they can to stop both Cutler and the Cybermen. Mainly because they have to with The Doctor checking out for when things get their most deadly.

Speaking of, the one thing that holds the serial back is The First Doctor’s exit. This was his final adventure, and he doesn’t do much aside from telling people what to do and taking a nap. By the time his regeneration begins, it all goes by so fast that it feels like he’s being rushed out the door. In a way…he kind of is. Due to age catching up with him, William Hartnell was forced to leave the show because his memory problems and exhaustion were getting difficult to film around. So now they had to get him out of the show for his own good, all while making one last serial as a final goodbye to this actor. However, it doesn’t change how…off his farewell feels. He’s not the triumphant hero who stopped The Cybermen and he didn’t get any final words to make his goodbye feel haunting or bittersweet. Future Doctors got this chance, even ones who decided to leave on their own accord like David Tennant or Matt Smith. It’s actually kind of sad that William Hartnel didn’t get the same treatment and that the writers would only learn their lesson for FUTURE generations. His flawed departure is the one thing that holds back what is admittedly a well-made serial.

And that’s it. That’s the last adventure with The First Doctor. But before I talk about my overall thoughts with this man, I should first discuss some other characters. Characters who are important to any Doctor no matter WHO (haha) they are…

THE COMPANIONS

Doctor Who would not be the show that it is without the companions. They’re frequently the audience surrogates, experiencing new adventures alongside The Doctor while assisting them across space and time. One thing that Chris Chibnall did correctly is point out that the companions are the true power of The Doctor and are worth talking about within the same breath. However, it DOES get a little tricky on who’s considered a companion or not. And trust me when I say it’ll get trickier as time goes on. So, for the sake of sanity, I’ll say that a companion is a recurring character who travels with The Doctor in the TARDIS and is there for more than one episode (Or serial, in this case). With those rules that I’ll probably break in the future out of the way, let’s begin with each companion as they left us.

Susan: I have…complicated feelings towards Susan. She had great chemistry within the group, did well as the wide-eyed, naive child who was excited for everything, and I was truly sad to see her go…But while my heart was sad, my ears were eternally grateful.

Yeah, as sweet a character as Susan is, she wouldn’t. Stop. F**KING. SCREAMING. Every time danger happened, she would always go, “AH! AH! GRANDFATHER! IAN! BARBARA! AH-AH!” Everytime. And when Susan was part of the group, having fun with them, being just as silly as the others, THAT’S when Susan worked. She was “The Young One,” acting as someone who the others would look after but still treat with respect as they knew Susan was capable of so much more than SCREAMING. As a member of the group, Susan worked great. As someone who could face danger…Let’s just say that my ears will be bleeding less now that she’s gone.

Ian: It’s weird that a college professor has more of a hero’s heart than the titular character of our show, but I’m not entirely complaining. Ian was a solid companion, willing to take charge for the sake of the group and having some great interactions with The Doctor. You could tell he wanted to strangle the old man, but also enjoyed The Doctor’s company as they shared a similar spirit. They both consider themselves leaders of the party and find conflict when one has an idea they believe is better than the other’s. After a while, they learn to work together and you feel that trust they have thanks to them realizing they’re basically the same kind of men who want the same kind of things. It DOES tend to feel that Ian steals the show at times, but it doesn’t change how much of an entertaining and perhaps even inspiring character Ian can be. He went through so much for The Doctor and the others, being the hero that they need and being charming as hell when doing it.

Barbara: Barbara’s sort of the character that has a well-defined relationship with everyone in the TARDIS. She’s a supportive, motherly figure to Susan and Vicki, treating them with respect while calming them down during intense times. With Ian, she’s a good friend and ONLY a friend. I’m actually glad that she was never forced into a love-interest role with him. There were so many moments where that could have been a possibility with how often those two are paired together, but it’s nice that they remained as close friends who can rely and help one another when the time comes. Not every man and woman needs to end up dating in the end. As for how Barbara is with The Doctor, where Ian and The Doctor are the same in a goal-driven level, The Doctor and Barbara are the same through an INTELLECTUAL one. They often share the same kind of thoughts and curiosity for each adventure they go on, and when they argue, you can tell it’s between two people who are of the same mind but with different opinions. It’s done well and I appreciate seeing these two interact the most. I also appreciate that Barbara stood strong in the face of danger, being just as valuable of a helping hand as the others are and not being a damsel in distress. Sure, she was like that SOMETIMES, but for the sixties this was likely the most independent a woman could get on television. Barbara was a strong character, and likely my favorite amongst the original companions.

Vicki: I was very worried that Vicki was going to turn out to be Susan 2.0, and in a lot of ways, she is. She was very much the young one who was commonly paired up with The Doctor or Barbara as she oozed with childish naivety. Even her exit was nearly identical to Susan’s, except that Susan’s was handled better because The Doctor at least said goodbye. Still, while very similar to Susan, there were some things that I did like a little more with Vicki. For one, she didn’t scream as much…thank FRICK! And two, she was a bit more proactive. Instead of screaming for Ian, Barabara, and The Doctor, Vicki found solutions herself and was frequently the one who helped save the day. I appreciate that, as it helps set her apart more from Susan and gives fans a different kind of naive character that’s endearing in her OWN way. I will say that it feels weird that The Doctor treats Vicki with more respect than his actual GRANDDAUGHTER at times, but this one isn’t screaming too often, so I don’t blame him. Vicki’s a little too much the same, but in some ways, I’d definitely say she’s a bit of an improvement, as mean as it is to admit.

Katarina: Does she count? She doesn’t really go past a single serial…Aw, screw it. She traveled in the TARDIS and helped the group for some time. I’ll say she counts.

And there’s not much to say about Katarina. She was along for the ride for such a short time, not really given a chance to stand out between the young characters like Susan or Vicki. There is this bit of naivety due to her seeing technology for the first time and mistaking The Doctor as a god, but there’s not enough time to develop that idea further and show her capabilities. I will say, though, that she gets the DARKEST exit of any companion I’ve seen. It’s sudden and unceremonious, dying because of some stupid maniac trying to escape his personal Hell. What’s worse is that it’s left to interpretation as to whether or not her death was an accident. Because she was from the distant past and had no knowledge of technology or buttons, it’s unknown if she sacrificed herself to stop the others from going back to The Daleks or because she didn’t know what button opened the door. A character that got to see the universe for the first time, thinking she was a part of something perfect, only to die in an unpredictable circumstance. She had a short amount of time, but I’m with The Doctor. I hope she found that perfection.

Steven: I. Do. NOT care for Steven. It feels like the writers were trying to make him Ian’s replacement as the heroic figure that was often at odds with The Doctor. Except that Steven is very much NOT that. He’s more like this bumbling buffoon who caused more problems as he constantly needed to be rescued by The Doctor and even Vicki at times. The very SECOND that proves how useless he could be was during his introduction when he ran to get back his teddy bear during a grueling escape from The Daleks. You COULD make the argument that the writers wanted to slowly develop Steven into a more heroic character, but there was barely any progression with him constantly being the butt of every joke. The only time he felt useful was during his last appearance, which I can appreciate. Again, they let him leave with some dignity intact and I’m grateful that he and The Doctor left on good terms. The two of them had a lot of one-on-one times with Steven having a great amount of trust towards The Doctor despite the constant jabs The Doctor gave. The Doctor admires every companion he lets tag along, and I love that it’s no different with Steven, even if I was more glad to see him gone.

Dodo: I…am incredibly indifferent towards Dodo. I don’t HATE her, I guess I could say that. She never really made my ears bleed like Susan did, but, at the same time, she wasn’t really the most useful companion. Dodo was either a damsel for The Doctor to save or someone that CAUSED a problem instead of leading to a solution. In a way, she’s more of what I expected Vicki to be: A downgrade rather than an upgrade who never really got a chance to shine as a worthy member of the group. Even Steven seemed more proactive than her, and that is a crime. And I’m pretty sure even the writers weren’t sure what to do with her either, given how they just…kicked Dodo out of the series without any proper exit. If Steven could get a proper ending, then so could Dodo. Regardless, I wouldn’t exactly say I’m going to miss her. Not too much, anyway. I didn’t mind her existence in the show, but I won’t lose sleep with her being gone. Sorry.

Ben and Polly: Yeah, might as well lump these two together. They weren’t on this run for long, and I assume they’ll be more dynamic characters when we talk about Number Two. For now, I’ll say that they’re fairly useful, saving the day with cunning and bravery. I wish Ben was a LITTLE less whiny and Polly a lot less of a damsel, but who knows? Maybe they’ll improve with The Second Doctor.

But that’s enough with the companions. Let’s finally talk about the man who started it all…

THE DOCTOR

The Doctor, no matter the iteration, is one of my favorite fictional characters. I ADORE a character who solves problems through wit, prefers not to use violence but will if pushed to their limits, and is the kindest being in the universe who will also destroy you if you hurt anyone they love. The Doctor is a being of many contradictions, who’s personality may fluctuate throughout the generations but still, at their core, is a caring being who won’t let ANYTHING stop them from doing what’s right.

…So to see The Doctor start off as this old fart who constantly complains while everyone does everything, causes problems for others, and sometimes cowardly bends to the will of enemies was a definite SHOCK to the system. The Doctor did NOT start out as the nobel hero I know them now as. It was actually kind of frustrating to see him stand off to the side while Ian took charge of everything. THIS would be the person who defeated countless enemies all over the universe? The person who sets out to save lives and regrets the ones they lost? That all started with someone who purposely trapped him and his companions on a distant planet just so they could explore? I couldn’t believe it, but thankfully the writers knew this neat little trick to storytelling: Character development.

Slowly but surely, The First Doctor does become more and more like the character I now adore. He fought Daleks after knowing how dangerous they are, weeped for the friends he had to let go, and outsmarted enemies rather than overpower them. He even gained The Doctor’s silliness and sense of humor. Just look at his grin as he scared enemies off after pretending to be a Dalek. The man relished in the chaos he brought, and it was fun to see…Except when he got giddy for being the one who caused Rome to burn down to the ground. Still have no idea what that was about.

Now, things weren’t always perfect. The First Doctor, while improved over time, still never became the heroic badass I know him NOW as, relying on his companions to do most of the work while he’s off having his own fun. Still, that’s where him being the FIRST comes into play. I can absolutely buy that it would take a few regenerations before he became The Doctor I know and love. As is, I’ll say that The First Doctor is an interesting, albeit off-putting, look into what The Doctor USED to be. It wasn’t always good, but I had my fun and I’ll miss this goofy old man.

And with that, we close off The First Doctor’s run. Most of it was fun, a lot was more dull than I expected it to be, and there were both good and bad surprises given to me through this journey into The First Doctor's adventures. It was great to finally see how this show I love started out, and it’s only the beginning from here. Tune in next time when it’s out with the old and in with the…significantly less old as we talk about The Second Doctor’s run.

[tinimmyweek]

@jimmyjrsmusoems ranks Tina/Jimmy Jr. kisses (from worst to best...kinda?)

We are officially two weeks out from Tinimmy Week!!! (can you hear that??? me, screaming in the distance???) @babsvibes actually sent me an ask on my own blog about my favorite Tinimmy kisses, but we thought we might as well put it here instead. Obviously, this ranking is just MY opinion, and I would love to hear yours! (Also, if I forgot any...sue me!) Anyway....

10. "The Gene and Courtney Show" Season 6, Episode 7

Listen....while I love that he brought her a rose, I cannot handle the second-hand embarrassment I feel when I think about how Tina is wearing a diaper in this scene. Like...I know she's dressed as cupid, but it's all I can focus on!!! If she wasn't wearing one, I think I would rank this kiss higher.

9. "The Bob's Burgers Movie"

I feel like some of you might be shocked that I didn't put the movie kiss higher (I shocked myself with it when I was making this list), but there are just other ones that I like more! I do love the "Woah." "Yeah." afterwards, and I'm pretty sure I cried the first time I saw this scene in theaters lollll

8. "Every Which Way but Goose" Season 9, Episode 14

*giggles and kicks feet* <3 <3 <3

bonus :

7. "Pig Trouble in Little Tina" Season 10, Episode 4

I know that the first one is supposed to be part of Tina's dream, but they look so cute that I wanted to include it. The actual kiss in this scene is made for me by Zeke's "Oh hell yeah!" after and Jimmy Jr.'s dazed reaction. Also, these poor kids that aren't apart of the friend group were probably soooo confused

6. "UFO No You Didn't" Season 9, Episode 9

The way that she SPRINTS down the hall in this scene kills me, and I love Jimmy Jr.'s (and Jocelyn's) reactions after. If this wasn't immediately followed by THE Zekina kiss, it would probably be higher up on my list! (That's what I get for being a multi-shipper, oops)

5. "Gene it On" Season 4, Episode 20

THEY WERE ON A DATE!!!!!! HE LOVES IT WHEN SHE'S MEAN!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

4. "Ex Machtina" Season 7, Episode 8

Obviously, I'm biased...but this is arguably the best Tinimmy episode overall, and this kiss is just...magical??? Idk??? The fire in the back??? The vibes??? Also, I considered adding the scene where Jimmy Jr. kisses the robot while the entire family watches, but I can't watch that scene without physically recoiling, sooooo

3. "The Quirkducers" Season 7, Episode 6

THIS HAD NOOOOO RIGHT TO BE AS STEAMY AS IT IS. WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG???? THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST INTENSE KISS WE SEE FROM THEM AND THEY'RE DRESSED LIKE THAT!!!! I NEED TO KNOW HOW SHE TALKED HIM INTO THIS!!!!! WAS IT SPONTANEOUS??? HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FROND TO BREAK THEM UP??? I WANT TO KNOW SO BADLY

bonus angle :

2. "Sheesh! Cab, Bob?" Season 1, Episode 6

The first kiss!!! Honestly, this is the one I struggled to rank the most. I think they've had better ones since this, but there's something so special and nostalgic about this one??? I think part of it is that I love the window scene right before this. IDK!!!! <3

"Bob Actually" Season 7, Episode 9

Was there ever any doubt about which one would be #1??? I am never NOT thinking about the sky kiss. He planned this!!! For Valentine's Day!!!! FOR HER!!!! He was so excited about it!!!!! Also, Sky Kiss is my favorite Bob's Burgers song, so it gets extra points for that. The "Jimmy Jr. kisses Tiiiiiiiiiina" part scratches my brain just right. <3

(As a side note, after typing these all out, I realized that they kiss SO many times in season 7???? If you took out the Xmas episode, there would be three episodes in a row where they kiss. They need to bring that momentum back for me personally)

If you read this entire thing, just know that I am giving YOU a (virtual) kiss on the cheek <3 Happy almost Tinimmy week, I am so so excited to see what everyone comes up with!!!!

[slimeclimbtime]

RANKING SF9 TITLE TRACKS

disclaimer that this is for fun do not get offended i beg

1. Bibora i feel like this one's just a given. it's catchy, gets straight into the groove without any pauses, rides out very satisfyingly and everyone has even lines! dance is fun (am so mad we never got a dance practice for it), song sounds great—not generic, but not so experimental its offputting either. it's also a house song like come on you guys know i LOVE house music. the only thing that could've made this song better is if we got an ot9 version but alas. a girl can dream. 10/10 this is 100% my no 1 song on spotify

2. Now or Never a CLASSIC. moody and then gets right to the dancefloor. the dance really elevates this song—its SO smooth??? the chorus is iconic (hwiyoung lines too!!) and it ends really nicely as well, no crazy caveats or anything. this song made waves when it came out AS IT SHOULD!!

3. Don't Worry, Be Happy am i biased bc this was my first comeback with sf9 and the inseong promotions got me hooked? yes. but is this song bad? not even close. im so glad they didn't go with a ballad comeback bc even if this song is very chill and doesn't really leave that much of an impression its so happy and im glad sf9 kinda went back to a more lighthearted concept (like mamma mia and scream)

4. Tear Drop so sparkly so unique. love the motifs of tears and the sad sexy vibe we just get from the whole thing. the choreo is ICONIC (apu) and the fits this era were INSANE. the drop was very satisfying, loved how it bounced around in my ears.

5. Puzzle this one mightve been a miss to more people than i thought it would be, but honestly out of all the d flat minor titles that sf9 has an unusual abundance of, this one's my fav. choreo is sick, song gets stuck in my head easily (puzzling puzzling puzzling AAAA), just overall a fun, coasty song that doesn't feel too underwhelming

6. Enough one of the rare slow tempo tracks, this song caught me when it first came out. the autotune gives it so much character, and the dance is addicting and the chorus gets stuck in my head so easily LOL. i think this one mightve been slept on a little more by some but it deserved better

7. Fanfare this track is so weird but i like the melody LOL. the song def leans a little more on the experimental side of things. catch me saying "shh, uh, fanfare ullyeora" so many times. the way they pronounce fanfare is adorable too

8. Scream this song is so dirty and barely even hides it in the way that it seems innocuous on paper and then you actually pay attention for a bit and its way dirtier than expected. chorus didn't really get me, but the verses are my fav and i love the summer concept!

9. Mamma Mia this song is so cute that's all i really have to say. its so 2010s esque in vibes and song type, even if its taking inspiration from grease. dawon's hair was a tragedy but the song made up for it (also FUN HAIR COLORS)

10. Trauma the drop was a little underwhelming for me but i really liked the slow bass beat we had going on in this song :)

11. Summer Breeze the verses saved this song bc i don’t really like the chorus that much at all. the high note is really good tho

12. Good Guy putting good guy this low hurts, but their other songs are just so much stronger. choreo ate tho

13. O Sole Mio it's okay, also suffers from the underwhelming issue that trauma has. its a good song, but not exactly title track enough for me

14. Roar im an EDM nut and putting roar this low? a crime. but it feels like its missing some oomph for me

15. RPM on the other side of EDM nut, this song's drop is just... not doing it for me. the verses are great tho

16. Shine Together im not big on softer stuff so this is just a matter of taste

17. Easy Love same reasoning as shine together. its cute, but just not my thing

18. Savior im ngl idk if this even counts? but its also just underwhelming lol

[jonasiegenthaler]

hi! since the off season is dragging and i miss the devils - what are you favorite moments for each player (or select players) from this season, not just goals or plays but an interview, soundbite, off ice moment, anything

(missing pk big time because he always posted fun team content)

hiya anon, this was a fun one, thank you! this got, Long, so i'm gonna put it all under the cut (alphabetized, not ranked, and definitely not comprehensive)

kevin: 

not like one thing in particular but playing more regularly this season! especially the second half

yanking multiple guys around casually

this was more last season but there’s a bunch of guys in utica that, every time he goes over the boards for a shift, chant a call-and-response of “who’s out?” “bahls out!” and it is beautiful

nate: 

the video of him and johnny in seattle

this one of him nearly getting taken out by a football

also he’s seen the memes he loves the love

boqy: 

a lil cuddle, or two, or three

i’ve always said he’s the devils’ morgan frost so i’m just very glad he’s found some semblance of a role this season he’s very neat to me

bratter: 

hatty! 

big hat hat!

him and nico reaching milestones together talking about how special it was,

more cuddles

notably too cute to be good at chirping

gravy: 

carshield commercials - ïf you don’t call now, your wife should stop loving you.”

for some reason his goal in the oilers game early in the season stands out? keeping the winning streak alive!

smacking nico’s ass on a driveby

[30 seconds of uncomfortably polite staring as the sm admin waits for him to complete the heart]

dougie: 

the six flags promo, wild that that was this season it feels like ages ago. 

those few games where we kept going 4v3 in ot and dougie just kept scoring gwgs, iconic, showstopping. 

fully lifting bratter like a foot? off the ice? 

herding a flock of dudes 

signing off the camera with a “hi grandma”. 

floor time!

the movie re-enactments? wheres his oscar

haula: 

“this is where i want to be. this is my family” <3

single handedly bringing us timo.

getting hit with a chicken finger

facing the other way on the bench when we went to shootouts (one of us).

laughing curling up on the floor instant fetal position

nico: 

there’s. so much. because i’m nothing if not biased. 

“i’ve just got a good feeling” 

pumping up the crowd 

selke finalist! career high in goals, assists, points! 

being absolutely dominant in the rangers series. 

game 5 nico chants! 

[gestures vaguely at 1386 tag] 

having the time of his life with some kids toys

marner’s “i felt good until nico decided to take me for a walk” 

“siegyyyy! don’t worry everyone siegy is here!” <3 

“let’s not forget to have fun. stick together. whatever happens.” + all the pre/post game speeches during the playoffs. 

nate talking about how nico made him feel like he belonged + so much more

“he cares more about his teammates than probably does about himself”

timo facetiming him because he was anxious about the trade 

jack

“oh shit :d”

hatty!

devils win for hanukkah :) 

“yeah i knew that”

“those are quinn’s boys so--”

whatever him and pk were on at all-star weekend

“i want that record”

“we are off on our chemistry today, hey?”

looney tunes ass fall

[gestures vaguely again at 1386 tag]

nothing but respect for my lady byng finalist

the dance

all the hugs

luke

first goal! ot winner!

dream dinner guests: julius caesar and george washington + getting chirped about it by dawson

the entire exit interview, all of it - messy but working on it (lie, probably), doesn’t know what day it is, hasn’t retained a thought for more than 5 seconds, fidgety

marino

[looking at a children’s toy] look i’m not not saying this looks like a bong

him and gravy giggling after they pushed pally off the ice

dawson

the players tribune article

hatty!

setting the franchise record in consecutive games with a goal

the hair, it’s majestic

yegor

santagovich

a pet bird, named ham

throwing shit at sevo

messing with the camera lights during bratter’s interview

messing with tuna during his interview

vv

made friends with a bird :) 

consistently referring to himself as “the vitek”

every time akira makes a big save vitek gives huge taps over the board <3

[stygianheart]

inspired by your post asking for headcanons, i, in fact, do not have any to give you. i do come with questions tho!!

will koby like. ever get used to being around luffy? like one day he'll blush a bit less, in the very least. also is the easy and super red blush a koby thing or a koby-being-like-that-specifically-about-luffy thing?

ALSO UNRELATED TO THAT BUT is koby always in the verge of breaking down? after the chapter where he's (rightfully) very pissed and screams about the situation they're in, it got me thinking if it was not just what was happening that caused that reaction, but also weeks or more of constant stress he has to keep in check frequently, or else he'll snap just as bad/even worse as he did that day.

(when i say stress it's more like... beyond his profession? like not only about his job but other things too, as minimal as they are, that keep adding and make him have to keep a great hold of himself to not break.)

Even better, questions. I adore questions, it gets the rusty gears in my head moving.

*pulls up chair and desk* YAY NOW TIME TO ANSWER—

Fortunately for Koby, he will finally get used to being around Luffy. Might take a while, since they’ll have to meet up in secret, but one day, he won’t be a tomato every time he sees Luffy. Though personally, I feel like he’ll still blush a smidge whenever Luffy compliments him, which ties into the next question. Since it’s practically canon that Koby is an ex-crybaby, I like to think that he gets flustered by compliments from anyone quite easily, not just Luffy. However, him turning EXTREMELY red is a Luffy-Only reaction, one that Luffy probably likes a whole lot.

As for the second question: yes. Koby’s a young man of his pretty high status, so he feels like everything had to, while not being perfect, he as close to it as possible. He’s like a naturally stressed out and worried guy, and as the top ranking officer of his own ship, he has the weight of at least a couple dozen marines’ lives in his hands. He feels like it’s his duty to make sure that everyone on his ship is safe (hence him jumping off a cliff with a bomb in his hands.) But during this mission with the Straw-Hats, it’s a different type of pressure/stress. As we know, it’s been Koby’s dream to be a marine since god knows what age, Oda’s never told us. Yet he’s coming to face the harsh truth (once again) that his dream heroes (the Navy/Marines) aren’t as perfect as he grew up thinking they were: they’re corrupted and negligent to those of lower status, and rather biased. Koby, as a *cough* friend *cough* of Luffy, probably doesn’t completely understand why the Marinez hate him so much, and as the hours tick by, he’s only discovering worse things about the people he used to idolize. Which will likely lead to Koby confronting the higher-ups when all is said and done. Who knows. Maybe he’ll blackmail them into allying with Luffy.

Thank you SO MUCH for the ask!!!!!

[elizabeth-mitchells]

Could you rank some YJ death scenes in terms of how devastating/well written/impactful they were? Laura Lee, Jackie, Javi, Wilderness Baby, and Natalie?

OH? that's a great question omg let's see... okay this is tough. but one thing about some of those death is that they weren't exxactly That unexpected. but since you didn't mention shocking factor, i'll focus on more impactful and devastating (to ME btw)

Laura Lee. yes i'm very biased but listen... it's the first big death of the show, it certainly made a big impression i mean my girl literally blew up in the sky! and even though on s1 i wasn't as obsessed with LL as i am now it was SO devastating, and everyone's reactions... oof. also! as in impactful to the storyline, i think laura lee and her death are so understimated. the influence Ll and her loss had on lottie... and lottie then being the biggest influencer on wilderness stuff... gigantic impact if you ask me

Jackie. when i tell you that up until the very last second i had convinced myself that jackie would survive... but hey. it would Not be yellowjackets if jackie had survived. i know i just talked a lot about the importance of laura lee's death but i'd rather bring her back than jackie. that's how important jackie's death was. was it a shock? no, but i do think it was so well done and that we'll never be done analysing her character and her death

Javi. if i wasn't biased i'd choose this as my number one actually. and i said i wouldn't count if they were a surprise but fuck this was so surprising to me. like... they had just gotten him back! that whole episode, the card sequence, he was spared, then he didn't, going back to him finding the first queen card, that scene was so brutal. it had me on the edge of my seat and i hope the rest of the show is more like this actually

Wilderness baby. do i like that the whole thing was a dream? i don't know. i think the whole thing was a little too cruel for my liking. i appreciate that yellowjackets was like they didn't eat the baby :) but also they did :) and i still want to give sophie nelisse an emmy. that last scene... yeah this could be number one too

Natalie. 👏 she 👏 deserved 👏 better 👏 and i'm not forgiving them for this. too cruel for me but it left and even worse feeling. i do not like ittttt it makes me so saddddd please fix ittttt (though i do appreciate the dying moment in the plane thing)

(give me five ships, characters, or shows and I will rank them from my favorite to my least favorite.)

[commsroom]

OHOHOHOH i like this train of thought with car guy eiffel who always has a tiny screwdriver/one of those with interchangeable heads in his pocket eiffel going to engineering and screwing around with spare parts and fixing things when he needs to think eiffel who always has little metal bits and screws that hes messing with on his desk eiffel who makes little metal trinkets for his loved ones. he sits and rambles to hera about engines and different manufacturers and they design the perfect car together with her knowledge of the world and his brain for design and mechanics. im thinking very much kaylee from firefly who never understood people but somehow machines just talk to her and spring to life in her hands. doug eiffel who wanted to go to college for aerospace engineering and work for nasa but never went to college and picked up a job hauling scrap parts to pay for said college degree before he dropped out and ended up working as head mechanic and whose dreams of building space ships were reignited when cutter found him in prison. or, my saddest thought yet, eiffel already planning on building a car with his daughter for her sixteenth birthday before she was taken from him.

idk also brings new life to his relationship with hera as the ship and how no one else on the hephaestus was really fit to do big repairs, but if he had a background in mechanics he could understand her on ANOTHER level that the other crew members dont get

oh gosh, i really don't think he'd be into anything that complex! like - don't get me wrong, eiffel is smarter than people (including himself) give him credit for, but he's a handyman, not an engineer. he is like the model for undiagnosed adhd class clown; he got through high school because he tests remarkably well without ever studying, and that was just enough to keep him from failing on account of all the homework he didn't do. i fully believe that eiffel never went to college, and never intended to. he's unambitious, and i love that about him.

maxwell's got the genius mechanical aptitude, minkowski's got the hard work and dreams of spaceflight... eiffel's passion is radio. when i say he's a car guy, i don't think it's his thing like radio is his thing - he's just a guy with a head full of american pop culture biases, who likes tinkering with stuff, and who lists "monster trucks" as one of the top ten things he misses about earth. like - i feel bad that so much of this is me disagreeing with you, these are just very different things! eiffel's definitely got tools on hand, he keeps one of his tool bags by his bed, he likes building things out of spare parts - canonically, he's got a lot of technical know-how, but it's in a much more practical, hands-on way. i don't think he'd be telling hera about design, much less his own design concepts, as much as he'd be ranking his dream cars. and i do not think functionality factors in as much as "he thinks it's cool" and/or "they used that make and model in a movie that he liked."

and speaking of hera, honestly, like... eiffel's good with his hands! and he can follow her instructions and do repairs if necessary. but the kind of electronics eiffel works with are nowhere near as complex, and i don't think spaceship maintenance comes naturally to him - and it's certainly not something he wants to do!! and while it makes a pretty big difference whether we're talking general station maintenance vs. specifically hera's hardware here, i think the fact that he doesn't know how to navigate this stuff without her input is part of the reason she feels safe with him. he didn't even think about what "optical system" could mean. eiffel couldn't (intentionally) mess with hera's systems even if he wanted to. hera is so used to people who "understand" her in that way taking advantage of her; i think it's reassuring eiffel has no interest in it. he is a people person; hera's just a regular person to him.

but anyway. i think he was looking forward to teaching anne how to drive, and that would be a depressing note to leave this on, so. eiffel could not be an engineer, and i think even the thought of the work that would require would make him break out in hives, but he could be a mechanic, for whatever length of time it'd take him to get fired. and i think that would be hot. put him in another set of coveralls and get him greased up. that's what's really important.

[macisms]

my pre-rewatch personal enjoyment episode ranking for s16 bc. lists. everything between 3-7 is muddy though i can be swayed to think otherwise.

1. shoots - probably the best pacing of the season, the only episode where i feel every character felt complete. good episode for both the characters’ pasts and where they stand now wrt to their families. dog frank. mac and charlie’s legacy :)

2. inflates - still had a fairly good pacing and good division of screen-time between characters. fun character dynamics especially between frank and all the others. charlie “won” at the end. there was only one bed.

3. celebrity booze - before you yell at me hear me out. this is where my ranking starts to get silly and more personal. i love breaking bad i was excited for this episode to come out before i even watched iasip. mac was serving. charlie threw up nickels over some guy. however frank dee and charlie were sidelined hard. this episode isnt that great im just heavily biased because of braaron. if it was any other celebrity this would rank in the bottom half for sure.

4. bowling - lost points because the men vs women stuff was handled poorly. dennis should not have won that strength competition against the waitress. i could go on about how this episode failed at the actual competition and ways they could have improved. i loved all the side characters though. i liked mac charlie and frank in this ep but they were kind of useless to the plot. also dennis’ misogynist rants were too on the nose. good sibling lore though.

5. dtamhd - some of you are going to kill me for ranking this lower than celebrity booze which is deserved just remember that im hugely biased because of braaron. also because this was the only episode i had any expectations for, which you should never do with this show. plotwise pretty solid though parts of it did get repetitive (we get it, its the systems not the people). i wont lie though ill never like "it was all a dream" endings. also in general i dont enjoy watching episodes where the majority of the gang dont feature in general (part of the reason why i found mfhp boring too). also the gore. i loved the gore. you did so good sweetie.

6. fvr - the hysteria surrounding that episode was so fun but honestly i think the actual frank versus russia part is soo underdeveloped that it throws the episode off balance. also i didnt love the character writing, especially for mac, he was a little too cartoonishly stupid for me here. oh and unfortunately i had expectations for this one too (mac having a bf) so while the catfishing stuff was CRAZY it didnt fulfill my need to see mac be gay onscreen. please let him be gay onscreen. to me the episode is full of pieces that didnt quite fit together. why did dee disappear for the last few minutes. why was uncle jack there he was so useless and unfunny. the sinned system reveal and the dating sequence was awesome though.

7. cursed - i really need to rewatch this episode. none of the plotlines feel fleshed out enough so it all kind of blurs together. why was cricket involved? why was uncle jack there again someone needs to kill him fr. i liked mac's chase utley lore but other than that i feel like nothing actually happened this episode lol?

8. risk-e-rat - i just. cannot get past how nearly every scene is some iteration of "wow i dont like X, that's not how it was when we came here!". the characters barely did anything they just kept saying shit. this season has episodes that are so goddamn repetitive and this by far is the worst. it was boring. they didnt even fuck the rat. not even their criminal activities can make up for that.

[cherriegyuu]

Boys Planet - 1

Honestly, what a shit show. Were they competing to see who is the worst? Because this can’t be possible. One of the Masters said that the production team did a really good job at finding trainees, like where?

I’ll mention the battles and pick a favorite, then I’ll say my current top 9. This is not in order of preference, it’s just the order I remember them.

Burn it up – Wanna One

No one really stood out to me, the vocals where bad at some points. I can’t really choose one for this.

Danger – BTS

I really like how no one really knew this sing. No one knows dark era bts and I feel so especial because I do and that’s my second favorite album by them. Moving on... Both were kind of bad too. The i-land boy, I Chan (I think), he messed up baaaad, I was cringing while watching. Don’t remember much of G-Group tho be honest, so I would say that K-Group was better because SeungHwan did a great job with the little he had.

Aju Nice – Seventeen

I’m sad again, I didn’t like either performance, I feel like K-Group was slightly better because of their main vocalist was really good but the other boys was really not it, I do know that he was in bad condition but still… idk

Hot Sauce – NCT Dream

Let’s start with the fact that I hate this song, with passion, so I’m biased into hating the performances. So I say neither, tending a little bit to K-Group because Hanbini was sooo good

Love Me Right – Exo

This might seem impossible, but I really thought that Hui was gonna fuck this up for his team. He was trying too hard, too much. What he wanted to do didn’t match the song, at all. Though as whole K-Group was more consistent the performance, both vocally and dance wise, Jay’s high note was better, it fit the song better.

Kill This Love – Blackpink

This fight was unfair, K-Group didn’t stand a chance. They did a great job, Gun Wook worked them to be really powerful, with big movements but it was a lost battle. Keita really did a good job of putting this team together, he chose them for this song in specific. K-Group did their best but the result of obvious. I feel like this team should have won the Studio Choom and M!Countdown stage but it is what it is.

Back Door – Stray Kids

ha…. I am basic ass bitch sometimes... Ji Woong had one line and a dream, minimum effort, maximum achievement. The struggles Yujin went through also touched my heart. Tae Re is such a good vocalist. And the guy who was center, he did a good job too. I think it was funny how everyone was sort of trying to mimic Hyunjin’s facial expressions, both in K and G groups.

And here's my top time (against you're about to see how basic I am) .

This is my last vote. It had some changes since I started to vote because I didn't have a good top 9 in head. So yeah. I like how this looks, I feel like this could be a great group. Some of you may argue that it doesn't have many global trainees but if we have to be honest, once the final gets here, Koreans will vote for the Korean trainees only so we will get lucky to see even 3 global kids here.

And here's a not so popular opinion:

I WANT and HOPE mnet will manipulate the final group. Koreans vote with their ass and global fans vote for the meme kid.

Koreans made Lee Da Eul, who might have a sweet voice when singing in his tone but is terrible in every other way, 6th in the ranking (he dropped to 13th in the announcement that was made today and honestly that's still too high for him). And because of what? Cause he looked cute in his profile photo, one of the few who looked okay.

And global fans? Are even worse because they dont even vote for someone whos cute, they vote because "ah, hes funny". Their voting for Do Ha, a really nice boy if you ask me, but, much like Da Eul, can't really sing and can't really dance. And the other My House boy, the one in red, he also isn't good but keeps getting votes because he seem funny.

And we can argue that the industry needs to change, people have to sing in their key and so on, however for most boy groups, their main vocalist sings very high. Chen, Jungkook, Eunkwang, Jay B, Jongho, Sungmin, Taehyun, DK, Heesung they all sing very high. I can't even think of a main vocalist who couldn't reach those high notes. And the dancing, although I am the first to admit that 4th gen is too focused in dancing, needs to be good, it's one of the essences of kpop.

So mnet, manipulate away. Make me hate someone, make me love someone. Actually manipulate the results (in a way that people can't tell that it was manipulated, still having X1 war flashbacks). I don't care, I want a good group, whatever it takes

[trynadollsiesplay]

How I would have ended / Ranked Rainbow Vision

(disclaimer: I'm not trying to offend anyone. This is just my opinion. It basically doesn't mean anything. But this is what I like)

Rainbow Dream - Heroe

Bottom Barrel High - B.L.O.N.D...E

Rainbow Divas - Sparks Fly

Sabrina - My Heart Wants To Be A Star

Meena Fluer - Navaratna (All Eyes On Me)

Royal 3 - Spotlight

Harper Dune - Imma Git It Right Now

Kingsley Boys - Fire

Natasha Zima - Look by Natasha

Neon Shadow - Hope You're Not Afraid of The Dark

Note: I'm biased. (my extra thoughts and reasons are bellow, to help others understand my thinking process on my choices)

Explanation:

Neon Shadow - I like their song up until the chorus. It's pretty plain. And for Rainbow Vision... it seems like a bad choice of song. I mean, it's good for it's genre, but Rainbow Vision has too fashionable and high-end audience for a song like that to win. So... I also find it triggers my cptsd. But that's okay. It's not a bad song, just not one that would win my vote. I think that the beat isn't fast or slow enough, the backing music isn't iconic enough, and their stage presence isn't too good either. It isn't a head banger. But it has dance vibes, but the tempo is too slow and the lyrics aren't dance beat either. It's too strange. It's good, but it doesn't really work audience wise in my opponion. After rainbow vision I don't wanna listen to it again, soz.

Natasha Zima - the song sounds like an instrumental. Is there even versuses? I know there are, it just doesn't sound like it. I don't like that. I still think the song is catchy and enjoyable, but it's certainly not my favourite, and not something I'd pick to win. It's too 'one tone', too strong on the techno affects. I'm not sure I'd really, even... call it a song? I thought that as soon as they fixed it in the song writing class. I'm not sad to have missed out on seeing the end of the video, and I probably won't listen again now that rainbow vision is over.

Harper Dune - Didn't actually perform in rainbow vision, so I can't judge from visuals. She's basically an extra. But I know her song was popular, and she wouldn't have dropped out in my books. I think that was a mistake on the writers parts. But her song is catchy. Triggers my cptsd a bit. But it's catchy, got a strong message, and was well put together in my opinion. Would have scored fairly highly. It had the stage presence, but the stage vibes can't be told without the visuals of the performance. If the backing track was made a touch more techno less grunge-rock it could have won rainbow vision, in my pov. (also wanted this in top 3, after we'd heard it)

Kingsley Boys - Not as catchy as the rest of the songs. I also find the high pitch of the boys vocals weird. The instrumentals were plain. The car in the music video is iconic but not enough so to let it win. Not enough stage presnence, doesn't invoce the feelings needed to pull an audience back. Will only use it as dance music after rainbow vision, maybe after Look by Natasha. The moves are a bit weird, jerky and unrealistic. And I don't like how there's a back up singer in the group. Would have scored higher if he (in green) had a bit more spunk and stage presence too. The only gymnastics I want to see is like the Aquors song with the handspring moment. Not random moves and car flips. Unless you a boy in love with cars, I find this song and it's clip unappealing. (though it would have helped if we could have seen more stage less sabotage moments. Though the sabotage make it better, because it puts in tension. Just makes it hard to properly judge the songs vibes. They still aren't winner vibes though)

Spotlight - The actual song is plain, the instruments are plain, and the message isn't impactful. The dance is intricate, but it's also weird. From K-pop I've seen better, and I'm not even into Kpop. It's just pretty forgettable, tbh. Would have liked a more unique backing track too, it's a little too beat-heavy and techno (my favourite part is the harmony and techno mix at the start, which is sad to me). I could probably fall asleep to what they've got. Kingsley boys is better and I could say the same about them. This gets higher ranks for stage presences and voice mainly.

Navaratna - This song is one of my all time favourites. I'd listen to this song out of rainbow vision. I love how powerful it is. It has a strong message, the dancing is unique, strong, and powerful. Though in series it was used more as a plot element, which sucks. But, once again, doesn't seem like it would fit the Rainbow Vision audience. It probably wasn't the right song for this. And I think that their staging didn't reach the audience much. It was a spectacle, but not something felt by the rainbow vision audience. The backing sound track doesn't suit this concert or competition. That being said, I love it very dearly. (I wanted it in the top 3 😭)

Sabrina - Is hard to put in the top 3 because of her songs background music. It isn't quite enough techno. It's very nostalgic and deeps and it has high audience appeal and meaning, which can't be beat and is why it ranks highly. It gives me the feels. But, it's not modern enough to win a contest like Rainbow Vision.

Sparks Fly - it's powerful, iconic, the symphony of voices and the meaning of the song. It feels sincere. The audience feels it. This is a stage stopper. The only thing that could have been better is the animation quality and stage visuals. The song is perfect for rainbow vision. I wouldn't change it all. That being said, it's plain and forgettable. But that just means rainbow vision will gets lots of views and sell lots of discs and cds where you can watch it be epic again. Which is a marketing plus.

BLONDE - Has amazing stage appeal. Makes you wanna dance. Amazing stage prop use. The singers look like they want to be there. The music is electric pop but just enough to not be too over the top or dependant on electronics like Spotlight or Fire. The vocals are original and unique (they have a really nice vocal tone, quality and sound). The beat is catchy but not too badly so, and the glamour level matches that sought by the audience. The stages light and the story of the song reaches out. The songs meaning is also... it's pretty nice. Hair colour doesn't really matter. They're saying it's fun to be them, but everyone can be them, because you can do all the things they list and live that dream life if you really wanted to. So, I think the songs meaning is sort of amazing too. A memorial text to good times. The song is really iconic. I'm still salty we didn't get the end of the song without the auto tune going down. Not that it sounds bad without auto tune either. I think it still hits. I just was and am desperate to see it animated to the end (please).

Rainbow Divas - They're iconic. They have the right sound. Rock, but not. Their song is catchy. The meaning is amazing. It's memorable. The meaning hits even after rainbow vision. It's a song that would make you want to look up and remember the other rainbow vision songs. You could rock out to it, but you could also slow sway. The vocals are on fire. The vibe is glamorous enough for the audience, but also unique, and wild for the (shadow high) quirky babes in the audience. The backing track could be made better but it works as it is. I'd make them the winners of rainbow vision, no questions asked (but if you wanted to give them a music video with Spotlights extras and quality, I wouldn't be apposed to that either.)

I love all these songs. This is how I rank them and why.