#like idk it's weird that there's this idea that women will like not wear makeup etc to attract men

[murderballadeer]

i need to get off instagram i just saw someone say not having a skincare routine makes you a pick me

[artdcnaldson]

UGH ok twist my arm i guess!!!! as a little treat!!!! dr donaldson <3

so gynecologist art, yall, doctor donaldson. cat and i were in the dms TRUST. so art decides that he should probably have a backup plan, just in case tennis doesnt work out after college. he doesnt expect to actually need it because his tennis is going great, hes on track to go pro very soon. but JUST in case, he decides to use his good grades to study some kind of medicine. initially he had thought some kind of sports medicine, if nothing else then it would be good knowledge for himself down the line.

but after his grandma passes (not of a stroke) and he hears his family discussing how if only her gynecologist had paid better attention and taken her serious she might have lived longer (idk anything about medicine but probably some kind of cancer yknow?). anyway he sees that a his motivation and picks gynecology as his field. patrick absolutely teases him to death over it, "you're gonna be a pussy doctor? what so you just get to look at naked chicks all day? i'd quit tennis for that too". again he's not really expecting to need it, so he doesnt take it too hard. but he's kind of obviously the only guy in the course, and the girls all think he's kind of weird for wanting to pursue a field of medicine that isnt relevant to him. but after him telling the story about his grandmother they all coo and comfort him that its okey and they understand.

he does well in all his classes because he does truly find it interesting and wants to do his best to help women. but as he's getting ready to go pro, he has an accident on the court, as he's going to return a long ball he twists his ankle and takes a bad fall. his recovery is good, but his ankle will never be as it was before, and his chances of the big tennis dream slowly dies. and ultimately he's just unwilling to spend his life as a struggling tennis player, when he could be making a real difference.

now that he has his own practice he likes to tell that story to his new patients, especially the ones who seem tense with the fact that he's a man, who will be examining their most private area. it does well to ease their minds. hes been doing this for many years now, he enjoys the work, and the women who come to him are happy with his work. his patients are typically slightly older women, as they're not as phased by a male gynecologist, whereas most younger women arent as comfortable with the idea. he doesnt mind that, in fact he understands perfectly. honestly hes grateful for it, he fears the day he might have a patient whos just a bit too attractive and he'll have to struggle to keep his cool.

that day unfortunately comes sooner than he had hoped. its your first appointment with him after having him recommended by a friend, you had contacted him and told him how you were very unhappy with your current doctor and wanted to try something else. not having had a male doctor before, except like your dentist, youre very nervous for the appointment. not knowing what to expect from it, or how seriously he will take your issues. out of nervous habit youve gotten ready for the appointment as if it were a date rather than a clinical exam. showered, shaved, cute panties, hair and makeup done. its all totally unnecessary, but the moment you see him for the first time you thank the divine for looking your absolute best. GOD hes so hot. far too hot to be a doctor. lets just say that he wears scrubs because theyre so sexy, and they truly are criminally flattering on him. he sits on his chair, typing away as youre lead into the room by an assistant. as soon as he looks up and asks you to have a seat with him, you both know youre screwed. the tension is immediately noticeable as you discuss your reason for coming in, just a routine check because your last doctor wouldnt do it thorough enough and didnt listen enough to your issues.

he leaves the room while you strip off and leave your clothes in a neat little pile, panties clearly on top in the hope that he'll see them and think theyre cute. and he does, in fact his eyes keep fluttering to them as hes getting ready for the exam. he has to adjust his chair a little lower in the hopes that you cant see that he's getting hard. meanwhile youre going from soaking to sopping wet as you watch him put on the latex gloves, snapping them against his wrist.

he can tell that you're tense, but as its your first appointment with a male gynecologist, he assumes thats the reason, and not the fact that youre mortifyingly wet. he tries to calm your nerves by telling you what he'll be doing, he sits right in front of you on his chair and tells you how first he'll examine externally, just checking for anything irregular. then an internal exam with the same purpose, and then finally a physical exam where he will just have to feel your tummy as well as your pelvis to ensure everything is as it should be. totally routine stuff, nothing out of the ordinary, if anything hes far more attentive and careful to make sure youre comfortable. but the way hes saying it, his voice and the way he's looking at you has you clenching your thighs shut and trying to keep yourself from making a puddle on the table.

as he gathers his tools he asks you to place your legs in the stirrups, he sees you struggling a little to get your right leg properly in place, he gently grabs your leg and helps you place it properly. goosebumps cover you leg as he pulls his hand away again. you can feel how wet you are as youre not totally exposed to him, dripping wet, youve been less wet when hooking up with people. this is just from interacting with him briefly, really its embarrassing. hes so sweet asking if everythings alright, and if he can do anything to help you relax. and after squeezing your eyes shut and holding your breath for a second you finally get out that you just feel like youre really wet, and youre not youre not sure why, this doesnt usually happen. hes so sweet, trying to reassure you, telling you its perfectly normal. its a natural response from your body, if anything its a sign that youre healthy!

hes not lying, he really does mean what hes saying, it is good and it is normal. but hes never seen anyone be quite this wet during an appointment in his office. youre soaked, its practically dripping onto the table and forming a puddle. if he was sporting a semi under the table he might have referred you to a different doctor. but youre so pretty he cant help himself.

he really does try his best to stay professional and not let his attraction crack through and distract from his work. but fuck youre so tight around his latex covered fingers when hes doing the exam. and you only squeeze down tighter when he tries to reassure you, tell you youre doing good. its making it hard for him to focus on the task at hand. it takes everything in him to keep his hands from drifting and moving to find those sweet spots inside of you. he doesnt have to deprive himself for long tho as he accidentally brushed against your gspot. his cheeks turn bright pink as he hears a tiny moan escape your lips. and youd been so good at keeping them in the whole time too. but this one couldnt be contained. he stays good, doesnt say anything, just carries on with his work. but he almost lets out a moan of his own as he sees the ring of cream gathered around his gloved fingers.

he takes his work very seriously and he doesnt take the idea of losing his medical license due to malpractice lightly, so he wouldnt be just giving in to his urges. his resolve breaking doent come lightly, its a big deal to him. he goes home that day and jerks off in the shower while thinking about you, he knows exactly what your pussy looks like, what it feels like, how soaking wet you got for him. he cums again in his bed and humps his mattress while dreaming about you. he wakes up and decided he needs to see you again. asks his assistant to set up another appointment with you. when he asks what for, he stutters and says something about needing to do some tests just to be sure of something. hes lying, obviously, but he needs to see you again. he cant stop thinking about your tight little cunt...

-🐞

ladybug your mind amazes me... <3

He can't risk medical malpractice, and he really is a good doctor, he loves his work, he wants to help people. And he's really never, ever reacted this way to a patient before, but god, he can't get you out of his mind.

So maybe he schedules a follow up for a week later. Maybe his heart is racing and his palms sweat when he walks into the examination room and sees you in the little fabric gown, hands in your lap, worrying your lip between your teeth.

He feels like a nervous teenager on a first date, not a fucking healthcare professional.

He listens to you speak about your concerns, walks through your test results from the week prior. Everything looks good, he says. Nothing felt abnormal, your body is working just how it's supposed to. Do you have any questions for me?

You shake your head, sweet and shy, aching for an excuse to get his hands on you again, but running low on things you can ask for.

[certifiedsexed]

hi hi hi ik this isn't really a sex ed question but it's a queer question and i'm too afraid to google it. what exactly makes someone butch? i've been told i can't be butch cause my face/body are too feminine but i think your identity being dictated by how you were born is kind of bullshit in the queer community. i've got raggedy as hell short hair, i've never worn makeup a day in my life, and 90% of what i wear is a tanktop, shorts, and boots, the only thing differentiating me from butches i've seen recognized as such are that i'm kinda waifish and have a girly face. maybe it's mannerisms? i'll be the first to admit i'm upbeat but the idea that butches can't be cheerful also seems dumb. idk, i'm worried i'm overthinking this. i don't want to take t but i'd have been born less girly if i had a choice. i just can't tell if i'm inserting myself where i don't belong or if i've happened to meet a lot of people with weird ideas around queer women. your insight is appreciated oh certifiedsexed

Hi! Actually, information about sexualities and the like fall under sex education! Thanks for asking me!

Let me be clear, there isn't a list of categories you have to meet to be butch. It doesn't have to do with your body or personality.

The "butch" label is about a queer (or generally gay) connection to masculinity and/or a queer/gay presentation of masculinity: it's very common [and was born] in the lesbian/sapphic community but you can hear it thrown around in the general gay community as well, especially in older corners.

It's not a sexuality, though it can be a gender.

There are social aspects to the identity, specifically in the sapphic/lesbian community. It has very deep roots and a lot of associations that change depending on where you're from but the important part is that gay/queer connection to masculinity. The way you look/act doesn't really matter.

You're correct on the second option, it sounds like you've just met some people who have some weird ideas about queer women and identities associated with them.

The best person to learn about being butch is butch folks, so if you're looking to learn more about it, you should look up some writings and/or media created by butches! [I can provide some resources, if you're interested. <3]

Hope this helps! If you have anymore questions, let me know! <3

[hard--headed--woman]

im also goldstar/never even kissed a man but it doesn't seem fair to me to blanket call anyone who's recently came out/slept with men in the past straight. I believe she has a gf currently? But either way I can understand how living in a conservative/religious small town would make it easier to stay with your bf you aren't attracted to but are attached to for other reasons (companionship, friendship etc) than when you move away and can be more yourself. Do I know if she's a lesbian or if she will end up figuring out she's bi or whatever, I have no clue. But it seems pretty hurtful to think her attraction isn't genuine. Maybe I'm too sympathetic bc I'm feminine looking (although I don't wear makeup or shave) and so I know most people don't immediately think of me as gay, even though I could never even imagine finding a man attractive but idk. I honestly would more likely believe Chappell is gay and was closeted than some self ID lesbians who say stuff like well yeah I'm attracted to men everyone can see when a man's handsome I just don't want to go further. I have never understood attraction to even conventionally attractive/celebrity men so that is more weird to me than like. Staying in a relationship because you're attached and they've been a part of your life for years vs genuinely being attracted.

Jesus I am so SICK of people like you sending me asks like these. When will you people ever STOP defending fakebians and understand that no, no matter how homophobic her family is, a lesbian would not willingly spend YEARS sleeping with a man ??? For real leave me alone and go defend lesbophobes elsewhere if you really have so little pride

She isn’t a lesbian. That's it. Everyone who disagrees is a homophobe on top of being an absolute idiot. Even if she's from a homophobic backround, and we don't even know if she is, she still spent years sleeping with her ex, she spent years singing about sex with men, she is obsessed with her ex and talks about him all the time, she is obsessed with men in general and only talks about them, she sings, dances and talks for the male gaze, and she decided to call herself a lesbian only because she hates men and thinks they're bad at sex. Since when is that lesbianism ? No matter how homophobic her family is and no matter how hard she's struggling with internalized homophobia, a lesbian would absolutely never do this.

I don't care if it's hurftul. I don't think she's attracted to women at all, and even if she is, then she's just another homophobic bisexual. Also, I don't understand how it has anything to do with you being feminine looking, lol. Do you think that's why I say Chappell is straight ? I would call her straight even if she was as masculine as Rocky Balboa.

"it's easier to stay with your bf you aren't attracted to" then why dating him in the first place ? Plus I don't think a lesbian could sleep with a man for years, no matter what. Do you have any idea how traumatizing that would be ? And above all, WHY would a lesbian do that ? Also, in Roan's case, she is so obsessed with her ex that even if you believe a lesbian can date a man (stupid thing to believe), it's still very very obvious that she was attracted to him. A lesbian wouldn't obsess over a guy that way.

Anyway, a real lesbian would never start dating a man at all, let alone stay with him for years. If you really are a lesbian, let me give you an advice : stop protecting fakebians. They're not on your side. They're helping TRAs and conservative homophobes. You're working against all lesbians when you defend people like Roan.

[darklcy]

☆ 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧! 𝐀𝐎𝐓 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ☆

this has been in the drafts for a long, long time and i haven’t posted aot in a while, so enjoy :) | also i feel like some of these may be ooc but this was fun to write! just keep in mind this is how i think they’d act in a modern setting, ofc minus the war & trauma

attack on titan masterlist

𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍

skips class to vape

smokes to thundercat & nirvana

flannels flannels flannels

naturally you steal them. acts coy when you do.

“you didn’t steal it, i just let you wear it and didn’t say anything when you went home with it.”

i feel like he’d be into meditating. idk why. like someone said he should do it so now he does a quick 5-min guided meditation every morning

showers with his chain on and gets green neck

doodles on his converse and yours

writes “hi :)” on your homework, journals, notes, etc during class

has a minecraft server w jean, connie and armin

claims he’s not scared of games like outlast or silent hill but everyone knows he’s lying

ends up hiding behind you in haunted houses

LOVES DRIVE THRUS/FAST FOOD. sonic & in n out specifically

toddler sense of humor, like finds things falling over funny (y’all remember the video of the piece of bread falling over-)

doesn’t know how to work pinterest

leans over people’s shoulders to look at their phones

tried getting his cartilage pierced but it got infected

has a few tattoos on his wrists and bicep

will bite you impulsively

𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍

you mean my bf

so this boy DOES know how to work pinterest, and has so many boards

one of them is filled w future pets he wants & another one includes house ideas with you :3

is the best language learner and knows french, spanish, and german

can’t watch gory shows like squid game or the walking dead, but enjoys psychological horrors like black swan

has a billion playlists with like 6 songs each

your playlist is titled “lovey” bc i said so

has maybe one lobe piercing. but only one

he goes so hard to TV girl and mac demarco, but also loves singers like sza & jack stauber

LUVS SMOOTHIES

downloaded bumble only for the fun of it once but immediately deleted it when someone liked him

bounces his leg and picks his nails

best. skin. ever. has a good skin care regime

drives a silver toyota prius 

super into journaling & drawing :>

such a gentle bf, but lives for gossip

you text him, “you will NOT believe what i just heard.” and he drops everything he’s doing to respond

coffee dates!!!

you two have a stardew farm together with a dog and a bunch of chickens and cows

his favorite character is crobus

i love him very much

𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐀𝐒𝐀

hardcore alison from breakfast club vibes

secretly into girl kpop groups

but loves hardcore women, like björk & poppy

definitely owns a lot of platform shoes: has like three pairs of demonias

shaves her brows to draw them on 

loves online shopping from aliexpress & etsy

into weird chunky jewelry!! has a necklace with a heavy cat pendant & a pair of eyeball earrings

loves to do your makeup! if you don’t wear a lot daily, she’ll do something for special outings like concerts or even for fun she’ll ask you to let her do it :3

has a tiktok specifically for ootds

favorite foods include spicy ramen, mediterranean meals & ice cream

i feel like she’d be in art class! she’d draw you random portraits or cute versions of you two to put in her scrapbook

oh yeah i also feel like she’d have a scrapbook!!! and keeps a lot of mementos from your dates/hangouts

when you come over, you, her and eren play mario kart

no doubt a spiritual girly: maybe not super into spells but has a tarot deck and a few oracle decks as well as a beautiful incense burner

you two go to goth clubs cuz yeah

her lipstick gets on you all the time

dressed up as lydia deetz one year for halloween

makes rings and necklaces and gives them to you, and she debates on opening an etsy shop

— hope you enjoyed!

[chainmail-butch]

Idk idk idk its late and im not sober butlike. Theres cis butches, nonbinary butches, genderqueer/blur the line butches, transmasc butches... so your blog was the first time I saw transfem btuch talked about and I was like thank fucking god. OF COURSE there's trans women who are btuch this just rounds everything out so nicely and its great. I am so glad theres trans butches in this world and it genuinely makes me feel so much more validated as a transmasc btuch and i love in general when trans women have a funky gender thing going on cuz im just like oh so you're like a girl but not exactly and you're masc but in like a dyke way so what youre saying is you're jsut like me fr. Btw

I also feel weird and torn about your post about trans women treating your gender weirdest cuz I have a freind who transitioned and went stealth years before I met her and she used to be so weird about me being masc like she sent me ARTICLES. Fucking articles about how btucues should wear women's clothes and a bit of makeup so they look better and it was so annoying and when I found out she was trans and came into that during like 2013 I was like ohhhhhh someone had instilled this idea that you must conform to a specific look to be worth having around and you thoguht you were doing me a favor (she grew out of it though so we're gucci, I kinda just called her weird for saying those things so i think she worked thorough it herself) and sometimes the stuff you say reminds me of that idk maybe there's a word for the internalized something or other ?

Sorry if this isn't comprehensible im a little high and I cant read it over because its too many words so sorry have a good night! or morning! Or something I think

Thank you so much for sending this ask, I was going through it last night and this meant a lot to me.

I think a lot of it (gender non-conformity/Issues with masculinity in those who claim womanhood) is rooted in misogyny, and I think the internalized something or other here is internalized Misogyny/Lesbophobia/Transphobia.

A lot of people are visibly upset when a big butch dyke walks onto the scene even if they themselves don't understand why. I think its the same or similar to the gut reaction that people get when they encounter trans women. Which is why, I imagine, your friend thought she was being helpful.

I hope you had a chill night

[hyperbolicpurple]

In addition to that, it's probably worth being a little extra sensitive re: body hair in particular because it's different from other aspects of gender nonconformity in how it relates to people's psychology. Body hair is considered 'dirty' while shaving is 'clean' and 'dirty' things activate disgust psychology like nothing else. People can be disapproving, angry, etc about women 'dressing like men' and not wearing makeup and so on, but there isn't quite the same level of reflexive disgust for those practices as there is for not shaving, especially if you are otherwise at least somewhat feminine.

It used to be kind of a semi-popular (incorrect) Thing That Was Known that people who were sort of in the middle of gender conformity/nonconformity, with some mix of masculine and feminine presentation, were treated with the most scorn and alienation, more than people of any gender who were 'clearly' masculine or feminine. That idea isn't as popular as it used to be (or at least I don't see it very much anymore--could be my circles, IDK) and we know it's not generally true--in the research on the topic, mistreatment of all kinds like job discrimination, IPV, etc scales linearly with gender nonconformity, and this belief doesn't make much sense out of common practices like the "three-article rule"--but I think it's quite possible that women mixing body hair with e.g. dresses, makeup, jewelry, etc might have been the origin of it?

There's something about that particular combo, mixing "dirty" body hair with femininity, which is so closely associated with cleanliness, that causes people to sometimes be extremely, extremely weird. I feel extremely weird about it, and it's probably, IDK, maybe 60% of the reason I don't wear dresses or skirts.

[bonyassfish]

I wonder how much the 2013-2016 culture around makeup and femininity pushed my gender stuff back in the closet. Everyone was saying basically if you don’t like makeup and feminine stuff it MUST be because of internalized misogyny. And if you just said “yeah but it’s not for me” people would make fun of you. “I’m not like other girls”/“pick me”, the idea being any deviations from the cishetero ideal of femininity must be because you’re just trying to downgrade other girls or make guys like you. It feels like a legitimate issue (some women using misogyny to benefit themselves) gave way to those terms literally just meaning “outside the norm”. Hell, even manic pixie dream girl was a term used to describe a film phenomenon and now people throw it at girls who they decide are too weird.

And idk, I think that left me in a spot where I did try to force myself to be in it. I tried to fulfill the ideal picture of femininity. I tried to wear makeup. I tried to get into the color pink. Surely the only reason I didn’t like those things was that I had to work out my internalized misogyny?

Nope, turns out I’m just a transmasc/butch/nonbinary person who feels a million times more comfortable presenting masc. and I knew that already, at a very young age (though I didn’t have the words), that I just wasn’t feminine. Adults would call me a tomboy and laugh and say I’d grow out of it soon. As if me maturing into an adult meant that I’d naturally gravitate toward feminine presentation. But I didn’t!

Idk what the point of this rant is except that I want to go back my 18-year-old self and say “hey, you can just be butch/masc. it’s ok. You’re not a bad feminist because you don’t know how to do eyeliner”

[rei-does-stuff]

no but LITERALLY the other day I saw that stupid terfy post comparing women wearing makeup to hijabi women and I was like “what in the fresh fucking hell” it’s so weird how obsessed they are with policing how different women choose to dress, for whatever reasons they do it. I don’t understand how they can call themselves “feminists” while also implying that women covering their hair for religious reasons is “oppressing themselves for the male gaze” like can we take away the phrase “male gaze” from these dinkuses for like, idk, forever???? do they even know that religious head coverings in Islam are for Allah (PBUH)? I know I’m not an expert on Islam but seriously they can’t even be bothered to know the bare minimum of any culture or religion other than their own before mocking it.

and I hate how their go to is “oh those third world countries are oppressing women with their backwards Brown culture” and you can tell that’s basically what they’re saying because we all know they would never criticize the Christian fascism that’s taking over western countries, but the second people are oppressed by a religion that’s associated with brown people they alstart squawking like chickens with their ducking heads cut off.

it’s like… the act of choosing to wear a hijab IS NOT FUCKING OPPRESSION!!! AND YOU CAN TALK ABOYT THE ISSUES FACED BY MUSLIM WOMEN WITHOUT BEING FUCKING RACIST!!!!! idk, as someone whose number one focus in study in school is intersectional social theory, it just bothers me to no end how these fascist women will see a white American male senator literally ban human rights and overtly state his religion as a cause, and say nothing about it, but when a Muslim does the same thing it’s all “SAVE THE POOR BROWN WOMEN” and ik you know more about this than I do from your own perspective im just rambling about this because you’re like the only person I can ramble about this kind of stuff to since you agree and understand it. sorry if it sounds like I’m being preachy your post just reminded me of some of the shit I’ve seen and I’m just like “cool cool cool these women are totally not overt right-wing white supremacists, nope, not at all nope no way” /s

anyways ur Muslim lesboy swag is off the charts you should be given free reign to slaughter any terfs in ur vicinity /lh

OOOH BOY LILY I WAS FUMING WHEN I READ THIS BC I HATE RACIST TERFS SO MUCHH MANN (nothing against you tho dw :)!)

[I saw that stupid terfy post comparing women wearing makeup to hijabi women] dude I see that all the time and I fucking hate it bc they are NOT the same thing at all. It all comes back to them thinking that hijabs are something the patriarch created when like. No. Sure it’s been used that way occasionally but it’s not as common as they make it out to be they intentionally misrepresent it to make Muslims and hijabs look bad and it’s so infuriating.

[implying that women covering their hair for religious reasons is “oppressing themselves for the male gaze”]

GOD THIS ONE I REALLY DISLIKE bc its so clear they have no idea WHY people wear hijabs. And especially since most people who say this are white and Christian (or atheists which might be worse imo) they’re coming at this from that point of view so they have NO idea what they’re talking about when it comes to that.

[they can’t even be bothered to know the bare minimum of any culture or religion other than their own before mocking it.]

It’s because they see as Muslim as either scary terrorist or poor innocent women who need be to saved for their evil religion and country by white people, really fucking gross

[and I hate how their go to is “oh those third world countries are oppressing women with their backwards Brown culture”]

God yea, they really need to calm their white savior complex for ONCE that would be greatt

Also they claim arab countries are backwards when they don’t know shit abt them, it’s awful

Especially what you said about them never criticizing Christianity for similar views, its only bad when the “evil” brown people do it apparently. Racists fuckers.

[it’s like… the act of choosing to wear a hijab IS NOT FUCKING OPPRESSION!!! AND YOU CAN TALK ABOYT THE ISSUES FACED BY MUSLIM WOMEN WITHOUT BEING FUCKING RACIST!!!!!]

Honestly if you’re not muslim or aren’t from said countries where the issue is prevalent I’m not gonna listen to a word you fucking say bc half of the time it’ll be misinformed and or REALLY racist, yk???

Anyways no worry you weren’t being preachy! This gave me a good excuse to rant too!!

Thank you btw, my lesboy swag is indeed off the charts :)

[overtlydinosaurian]

Saw a comic about the trans experience of learning (and struggling) to wear makeup. I don't wear makeup, I also struggled with a similar feeling of "ong how is everyone else so good at it" especially when you feel you need it so I'm not touching on that-

But I do feel odd about the throwaway line "I'm mourning the childhood I never got to have."

Idk, it always rubs me the wrong way to see this argument, probably for 2 main reasons:

1.) i feel like it glorifies and exalts this idea of teenhood and puberty (particularly female puberty!) And that anything past that is less-than, when in real life that's just not the case and just feeds into ageism and the idea that women are in their prime when they're 18. Lol. I also have a personal peeve by the Disney-ification of aging ("What even is teenhood without sneaking out, kissing, learning who you are, some huge inner realization, etc.).

2.) "mourning a childhood I didn't have." You did have a childhood. You had a teenhood. You spent it differently. I was sick all my teens, surgeries yearly and too sick to be independent and test boundaries. I'm not mourning what I didn't do, I'm trying to make up for it all now that I have it figured out. That isn't so say you can't sometimes mourn how it could have been different, but rather the weird mindset you see specifically about aging, about teenhood, and even more specifically teen girlhood as if it's this magical inclusive experience where you learn to be a woman and love yourself. You literally did have a teenhood, you were a teenager who went to school and experienced something.

tl;dr I saw a comic mourning the loss of a gendered teenhood. Got upset once again because I feel everyone treats teenhood, especially teen girlhood, as a storybook experience that often doesn't actually exist, and then stands to support ageism later down the line.

[andytheaspec]

heyyy you should drop that essay on tswift n her lyricism

Ok so I've always disliked Taylor Swift but only recently been able to put it into words anyways rant incoming on choice/liberal feminism, the Madonna and the whore complex, pick me girls (and how a lot of people hating them are also misogynist), the idea that straight women are somehow less straight than straight men (it sounds weird but it happens), and a whole bunch of other stuff about Pollution Queen

Warning for any Swifties about to send anon hate: I'm an ex swiftie. I'm not your enemy. I'm not attacking you. I'm just asking you to think critically about some of her lyrics. I'm not making fun of her for having mostly teen girls as fans (what I'm also accused of doing when I criticize the Twilight franchise, but that's another rant)

Ok immediately I would recommend this article as a jumping off point and to sorta explain my pov

Let's start with the pick-me vibes of a lot of her early work

This paragraph is a disclaimer. While tswift receives a lot of flack for being a pick-me, a lot of that is misogyny. People (yes women are people and do this to) use the fact that they only hate a specific type of girl to hide the fact that they hate girls. (Ex: hating white girls is just using anti-racism to hate girls)

Ooh boy. Ok so I'm mainly gonna focus on the prechorus of You Belong With Me here but I could break down the entire song but I won't for the sake of brevity. The lyrics to the prechorus are:

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers Dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

Athletic women have always been under pressure to be feminine lest they be accused of being lesbians (as a queer person who was accused of the sin of lesbianism for daring to have a pixie cut and play softball, I can promise girls weren't afraid of this because we're homophobic, but because everyone else is homophobic) and then swift is making fun of girls for this, yet I know that if her proverbial soulmate dated a masculine softball player she'd say he's blind and she clearly doesn't like men

She claims to be idk more athletic/ one of the boys just because she wears tshirts and doesn't play a "feminine" sport. But at the same time she's much less athletic than the cheerleader.

Why wouldn't a boy want a girl who watches sports instead of a girl who actually participates in games? /Sarcasm

She also leans into the Madonna/whore complex quite a bit. The Madonna/whore complex (which will now be abbreviated to m/w c (oh god it's a math equation)) is basically when the Boy is dating a whore when he really belongs with the unconventionally beautiful (only because she wears glasses) Madonna. Taylor is obviously always cast as the Madonna in this scene. Her lyrics always villainize the whore in this scene as well.

And on to my thesis

Draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man

This is liberal feminism at its finest. Pretending to be feminist and revolutionary while simultaneously doing exactly what the patriarchy wants. Men aren't intimidated by good eyeliner. Makeup is not a feminist action, and portraying it as such works against feminism. I'm not saying that women who wear makeup are inherently anti feminist, just that makeup isn't a feminist action. Taylor pretends this line is feminist, but it's really just another brand of internalized misogyny. That's what her entire brand is. Internalized misogyny packages as feminism.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

I've never put an once of make-up on my face in my life and I feel like I'm a minority. Does it make me ugly? Is it a necessity to be considered pretty? Have I missed something, am I proper woman... These questions feel silly spoken (or written) aloud but I kinda catch myself thinking them everytime someone talk about their make-up and I get 'oh that is true, women do that, everyday in society' am I doing something wrong (with my life, but that's a broader subject and always debattable lol). Sorry for the rant I have no idea where I was going with this

hahah no worries, idk what sparked this but you're def welcome to drop your rants in my inbox. in no way does not wearing makeup make you ugly. there is def a beauty standard that's very persistent about women and makeup. i think discourse and actions around it have shifted in the past years to a place where people do makeup for the sake of doing it, bc it makes them feel pretty, or weird, or funky, or it's just fun. i like that, since makeup to me feels like another way of modifying/enhancing my features, like with my tattoos and clothes. gotta be honest, it isn't every day that i feel like going outside without makeup on, bc ive been raised on those beauty standards and i "know" people will notice. (if i arrive at work without makeup ppl will ask me if im tired or sick, so.) luckily, as ive been growing a bit older and wiser, ive learned to like my face without makeup again. i only started after hs bc i was going through an intense emo phase and black eyeliner was a must lol. i still wear makeup in that same way. it's to show im part of that subculture in a way. but. no matter how much i like makeup, i do wish no one in the entire world ever felt like they had to wear it. it fucking sucks that a lot of people don't go outside without a full face of makeup, as if their natural skin isnt good enough.

but yeah. this is a whole fucking can of worms. i hope that everyone who uses makeup does it for the sole purpose of pleasing themselves. you just keep doing your thing and it's always, always good enough.

[sugar-konpeito]

i seem to miss a lot of the idea when people on this site talk about traditional gender roles. they talk about it like an all-encompassing thing that affects everyone kinda the same way. like with men being in charge and stuff ig?? but both sides of my family are run by women and the head of house has always been a woman

a lot of the women i was raised by were quite "masculine" too ig,, not wearing makeup or dresses, being muscular/big, having deep voices, doing physical labor, being emotionally cold, ect.

everyone had to be tough in my family, boys and girls. being dainty or girly was made fun of. not by the men, by the women. idk it's atypical or something so i don't understand other people's perception of family gender roles😭

like my whole life, when a man told others what to do i would think "who does he think he is?" and would feel weird about it. it's because i didn't see men in charge in my family. i've realized now that that's how most people view women who are assertive or in positions of authority!

anyways i stay not understanding things

[dopesotherstuff]

That is so gender

When I say my gender is “female but IDK what the hell I’m doing” it’s for two reasons:

1: My relationship with being a woman is not a “celebration of the divine feminine” so much as it’s a giant pain in the ass that I don’t feel intimately connected with, but don’t reject either.*

2: Being “acceptably feminine” in presentation is impossible for me due to various neuro, sensory and balance issues, and lack of money. It also seems incredibly pointless given the amount of effort, discomfort and expense involved and the lack of any real payoff for someone like me. I’m already ostracized by a stunning number of people for being autistic and not being conventionally attractive, and getting a makeover I can’t even afford absolutely will not change that.**

Elaborations below the cut...

*It’s less “I am woman hear me roar” and more a combination of “oh, okay, my body’s got boobs and a uterus this time around” and “WHAT THE FUCK why is all of this so hard”.

I don’t identify with being male, and I’m not unhappy with having a biologically female body--I’m just unhappy with all the stupid shit I have to deal with as a result. Periods. PCOS. Living in fear of getting pregnant. The insane social expectations. The shitty, uncomfortable clothing. The various dangers. The medical prejudice. The social pressure to limit our interests and pursuits to what’s “acceptably feminine”. The sheer number of men who refuse to think of and treat us like actual human beings (and then wonder why we won’t date them). The attacks on our rights. And so on, and so on.

My soul, my inner self, isn’t defined by my sex or my gender. My physical and social experience of life is heavily affected by them, but the rest of me is just sitting back going “this is all very weird and some of it sucks.”

**Performing femininity is this great weird mystery to me (yay autism) that I can’t do well at all due to so much of the performance being physically uncomfortable (yay sensory issues). I also can’t identify at all with anyone who considers activities like getting their eyelashes dyed or their pubic hair ripped out (CRINGE) to be “self-care”.

I can’t do high heels either. Some women look at six inch stiletto heels by some designer and go “I would die for those shoes”. Me and my balance issues go “I would die IN those shoes”. Also the idea of exposing too much of my round little hobbit body or wearing anything too tight makes me super uncomfortable.

And all of it seems so fucking unnecessary. The performance of femininity feels alien to me, and contrived. It’s like something society made up to busy women with shit that doesn’t matter instead of our having more time and energy to get important things done or just enjoy ourselves. In addition, making myself up, showing cleavage, wearing ankle-breakers and all that won’t make me more confident, because I’ll be self-conscious and physically miserable the whole time.

I don’t feel prettier in lipstick; I feel ridiculous, and even more self-conscious. And also like my lips are coated in axle grease. And it feels pointless, too. Even if I did up a full face of makeup perfectly it wouldn’t “make up for” enough in the eyes of those who care about such things. It’s still my fat, plain potato self, only now with red lips and sparkly eyelids. It doesn’t improve how people treat me, or make me more comfortable in public, so why bother with it except maybe when I have to dress up anyway? 

So not only am I bad at performing femininity and made terribly uncomfortable by it, I just don’t see the point. Or the point outside of the massive social pressure for us to put on the performance, and the ostracism we face if we don’t conform.

I’m rejected by most people anyway for being autistic and not conventionally attractive, so trying to be ultra-feminine would not gain me social acceptance. In fact, it would offer little reward, if any, especially compared to the cost in time, effort, discomfort, distraction and sometimes, physical risk.

I have no control over other people’s prejudices, and there’s an overwhelming number of people out there who look down on me for things I can’t control either. Putting myself through severe discomfort to satisfy other people’s idea of what a woman should look like doesn’t protect me from social ostracism, even if I could do it right, so why try?

Besides, it often feels like doing so would be pandering to the same assholes who treat me like a lunatic if I infodump or stim in public. It honestly feels like a lot of people out there are just looking for any excuse to reject someone, whether it’s their dress size, what they do with their hands while talking, or whether their fingernails have the right color of lacquer on them. Stupid, ridiculous, petty reasons. But it happens all the time, and I will never understand why.

I’m clean, fairly well-groomed, and usually comfortably dressed in something clean and decent-looking, like a long cotton skirt. I’ll wear something nicer for special occasions, and maybe even endure some lipstick. If that isn’t “feminine” enough for someone, well...they can go fuck themselves. Nobody asked them to play conformity police in my life.

So yeah, that’s the whole explanation of my weird relationship with femininity and its performance. I hope it made some kind of sense.

[desistancejourney]

Ok I'm just going to clarify some things here. First and foremost, this is NOT me saying bisexual women with a preference for women are fake or "really a lesbian", it's this particular rhetoric that I'm responding to and I think a lot of us know what I'm talking about. For the "men don't take care of themselves as well as women" thing, @kova-luu 's reply to this post said it really well: "Idk where the other commenters live but almost every man I meet reaches my grooming standards for women. Shower regularly, don't wear any makeup, don't wear jewelry, wear practical clothes, don't put particular effort in their style, don't style or dye their hair. Maybe you just have misogynistic standards for women, and in a misogynistic society most women reach them but men don't because they're allowed to exist comfortably. It just sounds weird to me. (I'm a lesbian)". I think that explained it really well, better than I could. I swear it sometimes comes down to "yes, you've noticed women often wear make up and men don't" and that's petty much it. I'm not sure where this idea that all men are smelly monsters thing came from? Sure, maybe some are, but it's not like, a universal thing that we all know? This also relates to my second point, though, because I think there's a kind of comphet thing where some women are like "oh yeah I'd TOTALLY be attracted to men if they weren't so gross all the time and put extensive time and effort into their appearance all the time like women are pressured to do." Like, okay, but normal dudes don't do this, and people who are attracted to men are attracted to normal dudes. If you genuinely would jump the bones of that gorgeous celebrity man you have a crush on if given the opportunity, more power to you and have fun. But if you find regular, everyday women attractive and never or hardly ever find regular, everyday men attractive, that may be a sign? "But nobody finds them attractive because they're gross!" They do, I promise you they do. It was a shock to me, too, but that's because I'M GAY. And look, it goes without saying that you know yourself better than I do, but I think it's worth asking the question "how do I feel about the average men and women I come across in my daily life?"

I'll say it: "I'm a bisexual woman but women in general are SO MUCH more attractive than pretty much every man, they're SO BEAUTIFUL 😍 🤩 ". Stop it. You're talking about the aesthetics of femininity, which is not the same as WOMEN. That, or you're just gay and you only like women. People who are actually attracted to men, even the bisexual ones, don't feel this way.

[liannelara-dracula]

Hi Liannelara, do you think you can do a moodboard/segment about what prostitution is like in Tokyo Ghoul? Like the aspects of it and maybe what female characters have a capacity of it or whatever? Just like whatever you see. And if you can make hcs or just general notes on it I’d really love to know. Thanks, you’re tg writings are amazing.

Hi Love, Yes, of course, I'm glad you asked this bc I think it's important. I'm going to make general hcs on here and just tell you what I think. If anyone wants to contribute with the post, by all means, go ahead. Or if you have some information that you'd like to add don't hesitate to tell me. Thank you for requesting love. -Liannelara

———————

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

———————

anyways let us get to the main points.

so this is just an idea, assumption, and theory of mine and a friend's (I bet others have thought this too) that prostitution definitely exists for female ghouls.

the reason I think this is because of some of the women's attire, now I know that sounds silly, but do ya'll remember Nutcracker?

yes, that chick that licked Mutsuki's cheek.

so I mean if wearing lingerie in public doesn't spell prostitution (or at least possible prostitution) then idk what does. (spoiler alert she actually is a prostitute)

Plus, if I recall, in the manga we see Itori appear in a nightgown or really a babydoll dress in public? (I believe it was her. Forgive me if I'm wrong)

So I am the attire makes me question just a little bit.

But I mean people are free to wear what they want but in Japan idk how far that stretches so I am going to assume that if someone wears that over there they might be considered a prostitute?

Oh speaking of which, just like you asked I think the females capable of being in the prostitution business are: well, obviously Mayu (Nutcracker). I mean is there even a point to begin, I think you can understand my reasoning for mentioning her, yes?

Itori, so of you might be shocked but she runs a bar, and like hell she wouldn't have a speakeasy or some dollhouse underground for just ghoul clients or something.

Roma, I know it sounds a little weird but she's so twisted I see it. and I mean she has like a nymphet/innocent kinda vibe. And you know some dudes find that hot and have some strange kink for it? so I see this.

Rize, she would because she needs to get what she wants right? Plus who knows it might be one of her only ways to survive and hide if need be. Since she knows so many people, and if you notice men have a lot of vendetta towards her, sooooo.

Eto, she not one, she just probably owns a dollhouse.

Okay so let me just say that as a female ghoul, what kind of job can you get with no degree needed and still appear human? Plus what’s a job that brings money to them that they can use in order to live? See, exactly my point so I wouldn’t be surprised if some female ghouls would have this lifestyle.

Like maybe in their mind this is one of the only ways they can get around you know?

Now the photos represent the obvious things of prostitution, pretty makeup, high heels, stripper poles, and money.

I mean I think the photos say a lot tbh.

I don't want to be too in-depth with it.

But I would say all this stuff is very hidden or possibly underground bc no one knows about these kinds of places except ghouls.

So it's kept under wraps and the CCG doesn't know it exists or at least not everyone knows of it.

I think a lot of female ghouls have probably thought of this option if they didn't have parents or just had it tough in life.

So reverting to this lifestyle may have seemed like it was all they could do, especially if some may have been born into it bc of their mothers.

I will say that some don't want to be there and they probably hate the idea of selling their body.

Some locations might be above ground so human clients (that are twisted in the head) have interaction but they have no idea who they're even around.

anyways that's all I have, hope it makes sense. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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