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inconsideratekidney · 1 month ago

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10/9/24

hey guys,

something's wrong with my computer. it can barely run all my chrome tabs anymore like it used to. it still functions i suppose, but its very slow and doesn't charge with this one charger i have--my backup charger. i bring this one around so i don't have to bring my big one. the big one that is like my only dependable charger apparently. this backup charger works on my phone and my tablet, but my laptop just won't accept it as a charger for whatever reason. it's super cool and lights up when it's plugged into a power source. it's got 3 different offshoots for usb-c, lightning cable, and something else idk what it's called but it's like an hdmi-shaped version of the lightning cable sized one. anyway, who cares about all that. my laptop has not turned on while the cable is plugged in and it pisses me off so much. i wish my laptop would finally explode like it wants to so i can get a new one.

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im not really sure what kind of audience is actually reading my blogs. i know most don't keep up, cuz its a blog and no one wants to read about someones personal life go on and on, but it is very therapeutic for me. i honestly dgaf who reads it or doesn't. just that i have a place to put my thoughts. i would love feedback or any kind of response literally, like idc what, i like to have conversations with ppl so if u want to go ahead. ill try to stop asking, but i feel like ppl don't feel right doing it or are straight up just not reading any of this. who knows. womp womp.

speaking of which, the things i write about are the kinds of topics i want to talk about with ppl, but are the ones that ppl dont stay on for too long. what i mean to say is that i can bring something up and not have the time to say it all, or the interest of the other person to listen; wait; then let me finish my thoughts, and then actually want a response from them. i often find myself wanting someone to just listen to me go on and on, and most ppl can't stand that or can't stay on the same topic i want to talk about. if i ever do find myself with someone who will let me talk, i'm so conditioned to change the subject for fear that i'm bothering them and sub-consciously/consciously change the subject so i don't lose ppl in conversation.

i had no idea how to recruit "fans" or whatever lol. i had no idea who really wanted to read these blogs. i just find them fun--i'd like to think i'm funny sometimes and that people enjoy what i have to say, so that they can read into what i'm thinking about on their own time. i don't have to bother people with my existence in a conversation back and forth if they don't want to. if you can't stand my writing u can just click away. it's not a big deal. my whole thing is that if you really did want to respond, i'd be down to have a chat with you. i feel satisfied after getting this all out that i can decide to respond or not once i'm done because i've already gotten my thoughts out without being interrupted. you don't watch me type or see my edits, you only see the final product and that puts me at ease a bit. when i speak out loud, i typically say everything i'm thinking or not enough. often i say the wrong thing and people are quick to jump in and ask for clarification or even correct me. i'm not finished. many ppl aren't patient anymore and it's frustrating when my brain doesn't function the way most peoples brains do.

i think of something, then i think "why the hell did that pop into my head? what on earth is this related to?" trick question--its never related to anything most times. my brain just picks up on slight things in my environment and misconstrues them as something relevant to some memory and brings one up, or comes up with something new. i'd assume most people think like that. i just don't know how to explain that to ppl in conversation when were talking about one thing, or we're not talking at all and i just bring something up. that's when it makes sense to me. typically i think of everything at once so it's all relevant to me.

i like this shark. going in circles endlessly in one small space. he knows he can't go anywhere, but maybe he likes it. it's safe, reliable, and cushiony. i put the shark here for our entertainment, but i wont release him (cuz i will forget) but he shall remain happy or maybe he's hitting his head against the walls, thinking "when will she stop yapping" idk.

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im sweating like a madwoman. make it stoppppp. i was trying to experiment by not wearing deodorant/antiperspirant to see if it was all in my head and it is not. it's quite real and i hate it. i hate sweating so much. i don't sweat in my hands or back. just my armpits and private bits (it's really just my thighs lol). i wanna lose weight tbh. i hate my thighs rubbing together, it hurts when i'm wearing shorts and they just slide up and chafe. ugh i get so uncomfortable thinking about it. also my body just gets hot. it's just so annoying. i feel like this hyperhydrosis condition really spiked when i entered college. that's when i really noticed it first a least. my mom has it and i've been trying all different deodorants and antiperspirants with her, but i still sweat regardless. i think she said some work for her for a bit, but then don't again. i think lumē worked for her but just smells weird. who knows. maybe i'll try mens deodorant or antiperspirant. i don't want to throw out my current one cuz yk, money, but it ain't working...

idkkkkk.

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in the time i've written this, the charger still isn't working and even when i hold down the power button there's no response from my conputer to even tell me it's dead. i'm concerned but still couldn't care less. its not fanning bc i let it stop before it turned off. i think it just died and this charger isn't working. i sure hope it works when i get home tho. fuck this shit.

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this body positivity movement related to hair on women is progressing more i think. i haven't researched it or anything, but i notice more ppl than i did before who seem female presenting or have feminine features to have body hair and i love to see it. it's still very scarce, but this is only one place in the world. ofc my hometown there's like no one and my mother makes fun of me all the damn time, so i never forget it. i just wish it didn't look so bad. like i don't care about it cosmetically in the sense that women shouldn't have it cuz it looks bad or cuz its not feminine, but i just don't think it ever matches my outfits. it pisses me off kinda. i don't feel like i give off hairy vibes. maybe i do. those aren't the vibes i wanna put out there. but see in that mindset, i'm stereotyping myself and still have the same schema. "what they're wearing is weird that doesn't match what i assume their style is!" type shit. i don't enjoy this mindset and it comes along with other stereotypical, generalizing mindsets i still have from growing up and am still trying to eradicate, but dang its hard.

i also study peoples behavior and people watch to learn and copy whats socially acceptable. so believe me when i say, it's fucking hard having hairy legs when it's still not common everywhere i go. it's kind of a fucking nightmare sometimes. and i know i sound like "oh, woe is me!" and sometimes i do feel like that, but its because i don't see enough representation--thats another reason why i do it. my real reason is that i don't care to keep up with shaving and i don't want to do it bc i feel like i have to. i don't feel like i want to, so i just don't. if one day i wake up and feel like shaving, then damnit i will. but i don't need anyone's approval or advice on it. i'm angry bc of what my mother says to me, so this is mainly directed towards the comments she's made, and my father, hell, both of em. i'm not taking this outta thin air. there are ppl attacking me, it's my family...

that's the funny thing. i haven't gotten any backlash from a single other person. funny... if they keep it to themselves, wonderful! i honestly don't care what they think, but do care that they are being considerate.

anyshways, thats why i don't love socks that pull on the hair and why i feel awkward in tank tops and short shirts cuz i still haven't gotten over the socially different part yet. this is revolutionizing for me even if it isn't for anyone else.

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if you actually read everything so far, you're cool, but if you're at the end and readin this, you're still cool but u just don't know what i said. i'll sum it up for you-

tdlr (i hate myself):

- computer bout to shit itself

- i have social anxiety and am a clinical yapper

- computer still boutta die

- ahh scary! hair on woman!!

youre here now.

yipee!!

i'll try to post Tuesdays through Thursdays i have decided. try to check then if u can....

love yall,

kD :p

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chaifootsteps · 1 year ago

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Ok, if you want to not post this I'm ok with it. I'm the Nick anon

So Nick, well a lot of people speculate that the crap he's doing is staged and blah blah. Here's my beef, even if it was, why the hell would he do it? He's literally diminishing his health for money and views because he needs those clicks.

The reason I bring it up is because idk, I just have a gut feeling that maybe Viv is starting drama and this other crap so she gets the attention. She wants people to go click on her videos and get her the views. I even remember hearing how page views on a website someone operates can get them some extra cash too. She wants us to go look at her merch so she can get the views.

Now, the thing with Nick. I think Nick is very mentally ill. Why? Because he's been to the doctor for issues he's had for gaining weight. Even if that stuff is an act, just why? There was an video nick made that was called I think "Orlin ran away" and in this video nick drove places and found pictures Orlin drew for him. Honestly, some were so well done I was very impressed with Orlin's art skills and if they got someone to draw those they need a round of applause since I laughed. Why is he trying to troll his audience? He keeps saying they break up, orlin cheats, and the most dumbest things that I roll my eyes to the back of my head. Nick is so good at feeding his audience literally. He knows people won't turn away and will continue watching.

That's why I'm comparing him to Viv, but Nick is so much smarter than her. Nick knows the right buttons to push while Viv is running in the dark. She's in Japan right now, and yes she's documenting it like sharing pictures of where she goes, and she still makes the time to get into internet fights.

Ok sorry for ranting. I just feel like Viv is trying to troll and make people watch her more so she can literally monetize the attention.

As plausible as that seems, I don't think Vivzie's anywhere near clever or forward thinking enough to put on the kind of prolonged act Nick Avocado does. If you look back as far as her Deviantart days, you realize pretty quickly that this is who she's always been, with hauntingly little growth or change.

I think the biggest common denominator between Nick and Vivzie is that they're both addicts. Someone once said that Nick has an "addiction to food, views and meaning," and I think that's true for Vivzie too. More than the cash, maybe even more than the fame, she needs her fandom to assure her that she's as great as she believes she is and that nothing is her fault.

Nick's slowly killing himself for his audience. Vivzie needs to know that these people would praise her even if she killed someone else.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #actual blog post

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samd1o1 · 2 years ago

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Ableism In Renfield

Renfield is probably one of my new favorite movies I won't lie. I'm absolutely obsessed with it! But that doesn't mean it's perfect and that I can't have some complaints.

There's two main points I want to bring up;

Demonization of NPD, and Erasure

Ok so obvious TW for Ableism and Sanism!

1. Demonization of NPD:

I'm sure if you've seen the movie you know they basically use "narcissist" as a synonym for abuser. They call Dracula (Robert's abuser) a narcissist and it's the general term used by the support group.

NPD and other Cluster B disorders are often used as synonyms for abusers. Take for example the Amber/Johnny trial. Idc who you think actually was the abuser. What matters for this conversation is that Amber's disorder was used as LEGAL EVIDENCE that she is an abuser.

There's also a rise online of a term called "narcissistic abuse". Now fucking imagine if someone said they suffered from say idk "autistic abuse". That's disgusting right? Everything that is claimed under narcissistic abuse fits under emotional abuse!

Also do you want to know one of the main ways NPD ends up manifesting? FROM ABUSE. So not only is the movie demonizing NPD ableist it's also just alienating it's own target audience. It's an abuse survivors story for fucks sake!

If you want to call an abuser selfish then be my guest. But don't pull a real mental disorder into it just because you wanted to seem like a big boy who knows big words. Selfish is a perfect word for an abuser!

2. Erasure

This one is specifically about the character of Renfield. If you've never read Dracula let me fill you in on Renfield's part of the story.

Renfield is a patient in Dr. Seward's asylum. He has psychosis and bouts of mania and depression, highs and lows. He has these symptoms BEFORE Dracula ever interacts with him! In fact his symptoms just make it easier for Dracula to use him. (Like real life abuse wow).

Now I understand giving Renfield Jonathan Harker's backstory (the soliciter role) in fear of ableism (ironic lol). Asylum in the victorian era was torture (hell it was even worse in the book). (Also I think it's a reference to the 1931 movie).

But they still should have kept his mental illness. There are absolutely zero signs of any psychosis in Robert.

(Random side note, I really liked that deleted dance number because it was all in his head, should have kept it smh).

Anyway; it would have been really cool to have a protagonist/hero who had some of the most stigmatized mental illnesses/symptoms out there.

And in not giving Robert any of his symptoms he just comes out, well not Renfield.

This is just the Jonathan Harker movie. Robert is a bit awkward of a person but that's about it.

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Either way I still love this movie. As an abuse survivor who loves gothic horror and homosexual vampires it's fucking awesome. But these problems sure as hell bug me. (Bug get it?)

#Renfield 2023 #Renfield #Dracula #RM Renfield #Robert Montague Renfield #Neurodivergent #Mental Illness #Mentally Ill #Idk what tags to use ngl

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buttercupbread06 · 2 months ago

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honestly getting most of my notes on my vent blog is kind of messing with my sense of worth

it's not like im hurting myself more often for The Audience or anything. hell no. but now i feel a little less motivated to share things i actually love. im posting this on main because if i post a single more thing on the other blog and get 12 notes in 20 minutes im going to die.

im more than my mental illness. and the amount of times people have stuck with me just for how fucked up i am is not doing that statement any favors. good night i think it might be time to SH in public or smth idk man im so done.

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ironwoodprotectionsquad · 2 years ago

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Am I the only one who thinks the Cat deserved to ascend (ik he can't but idk make up deus ex machina that allows him to do so) more than Neo? Like Neo objectively did far worse things than Curious Cat. And Cat actually had a pretty good reason to he mad. He actually is a sad sympathetic character that was basically a victim of god brothers. But for some reason Neo gets a poetic ending where she just mary poppinses out of the story and main characters act like she was not torturing Ruby two episodes ago. While Curious Cat gets brutally killed off?? Like bro what???

Given the Curious Cat bullshit happening in the fndm right now it felt appropriate to find every ask about them and go through them all because I am tired. So fucking tired.

But honestly anon I was so so so hoping they would. I read the spoilers and saw the leek about what happened to curious and I was so hopeful it was wrong somehow but it unfortunately....wasn't. The curious cat really was made so sympathetic in the backstory section with the Blacksmith especially and it showed how hurt and broken they where with no way to deal with that pain and hurt and we're supposed to cheer when they are brutally murdered. Meanwhile the character that literally pushed Ruby to attempt suicide is allowed to be seen in sympathetic light and is framed narratively for the audience to feel bad for her and to be happy when she decides to ascend.

The uncomfortable implications we're getting is we're supposed to see the brothers as good and right because both of their victims (Ozpin and Curious) the narrative torments and hurts and beats down over and over and over again. Why? The brothers cause so much pain and suffering and yet the characters whom they caused the most suffering are framed over and over again as bad and wrong and deserving of what they got rather then the horror of what was done to them explored.

Their is also a massive amount of sexism in Curious vs. Neo that we can see happening over and over and over again even with CRWBY and how they describe the characters. The infamous character tier chart still makes me so mad with characters like James being sent to "Super hell" while Salem is significantly higher on the list because somehow she's not seen as being "directly" mean. The issue doesn't steam from the actual characters actions or backstories or reasons for said actions, all that matters is whether or not they're a uwu sad poor wittle girl who can't be blamed for her actions because she's just to uwu sad to be held accountable.

The amount of rage I feel every time I think about this is just through the fucking roof. Why does CRWBY get away with continually and repeatedly infantilizing woman and pretending they're to weak and sad or whatever other bullshit to actually have to face some fucking consequences for the sheer and utter bullshit they repeatedly pull.

Sorry sorry I know this is about Curious but damn their are just so many varying gross factors that pile up in regards to the shows decision on their treatment and deciding that being eaten alive is somehow a fate....anyone deserves. But CRWBY has made it crystal fucking clear that if you are neurodivergent or mentally ill and aren't a hot girl the narrative will magically cure of those problems you deserve every second of the suffering you're put through and that is disturbing.

#RWDE #TW Suicide #Suicide TW #Sexism in RWBY #Ableism in RWBY #Fuck RT

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4th-make-quail · 2 years ago

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Salamander’s Big Ol’ Resident Evil Fic Archive

since we just had re4r, i figured it’s a good time to pimp out my resident evil fic! only recently knocked off my most prolific fandom spot by ffxiv (and that was entirely sart and basch’s fault LOL), although admittedly most of the fic is drabbles. what can i say, i was Having A Phase

Chris/Wesker

Addicted to You

Summary: Plain, out-and-out PWP. Table!sex, as it happens. Not much else to say! Tags: explicit Notes: first of a series of little fic challenges i set myself!

please (don't) wake me from this dream

Summary: Chris/Wesker, tentacle-porn. Or: what happened that one time in that volcano. Or did it? Tags: double drabble, tentacles, explicit Notes: one of my most popular RE fics, bizarrely enough for a double drabble lol. Anyway i really need to write more chris/wesker tentacle action

Steel Syndrome

Summary: Knife!porn drabble. Tags: drabble, knife porn, explicit Notes: holy fuck, this was written to commemorate the fuckyeahweskerxchris blog getting TEN WHOLE FOLLOWERS!! don’t remember why i stopped running that blog, it is lost to the mists of time

Like a Drug

Summary: STARS Alpha team get word of an illegal drugs deal going down somewhere in Raccoon City, but not everything goes as planned. Tags: explicit Notes: stakeouts! Injured Chris! Ill-advised fucking while injured (my speciality)!!

In the House of Flies

Summary: Knife!porn drabble. Tags: drabble, mature Notes: listen to deftones!!! I’m still correct about this song for these two :3c

Let It Burn

Summary: bottom Wesker! Tags: drabble, explicit Notes: it’s not all drabbles guys, i promise

Sketch

Summary: labcoat drabble! Tags: drabble, mature Notes: honestly… not all drabbles….

Second Skin

Summary: glove kink drabble! Tags: drabble, mature Notes: gloves… good…

Conduit

Summary: hypothermia drabble. Tags: drabble, hypothermia, general audiences Notes: bitches love huddling for warmth!! It’s me i’m bitches

Gunoil

Summary: The maintenance of one's weapon is important. Tags: gun porn, mature Notes: guns!! forearms!!! and we have an actual summary again lol

Unloaded Barrel

Summary: At the end of the week, Chris just wants to spend some time with Wesker. Unfortunately, paperwork has a habit of getting in the way. Well not this time. Tags: gun porn, fluff, explicit Notes: hey look more bottom Wesker!! Getting fucked with a gun!! ayooooo

Point of No Return

Summary: Chris wakes up back in time, before the mansion incident ever happens and boy is that ever fucked up. In which it's Barry's birthday, there are too many shots, and Chris has no goddamn clue what he's meant to do with all this knowledge that's haunting the hell outta him. Tags: alternate universe - time travel, fluff, happy ending, explicit Notes: my actual most popular resident evil fic! And, in fact, my most popular fic by kudos, even beating out one of the r76 fics i wrote lmao, wonders will never cease! I like this one - i think i actually started plotting a sequel but it never went anywhere. oops

Leon/Krauser

Appetite

Summary: Sieges are fucking boring. Tags: double drabble, explicit Notes: listen, i was going through a drabble phase ok!! Also this one has one of the most baffling comments i ever received lmao, only rivalled by the even more baffling one in Point of No Return!

Deadly Promises

Summary: Present tense knife fight Tags: double drabble, mature Notes: bitches love knife fights!!!!! it’s me i’m bitches once again

Wire in the Bone

Summary: knife sex drabble Tags: drabble, knife porn, explicit Notes: okay i REALLY need to write a full length knifeporn drabble with these two holy shit i’m sorry guys lmao

Not a Jungle

Summary: It's not a jungle. Not this time, but the damp heat reminds Leon of South America. Tags: knifeplay, explicit Notes: bottom!!! Krauser!!!!!! AYOOOOO

Jake/Sherry

On Bets and Their Consequences

Summary: Jake makes a foolish bet, and Sherry takes him up on it. Tags: mature Notes: shake, my beloved….. and hilariously one of like idk, three??? m/f fics i've ever written

All Bets Are On

Summary: Sequel to On Bets and Their Consequences - Jake loses the bet with Sherry and now has to pay her price. Tags: cross dressing, explicit Notes: i don’t even know about these two, don’t ask me!!

Parker/Raymond

A Little Different

Summary: Complete PWP - Parker and Raymond fuck for the first time. Things are... a little different. Tags: sounding, explicit Notes: the first actual fic in the tag and i still can’t believe there’s only 12 fics for these two?! TWELVE?! and ofc me being me, it had to be an obscure/unpopular kink for an even more unpopular ship LOL. play revelations, y’all!!!

Jill-Centric

Fading Entity - a gen drabble about Jill and the P30

Between Disgust and Desire - The P30 takes more from her than she has to give, and replaces it with that which she never wanted. Another gen drabble but can be interpreted as one-sided Wesker love on Jill’s side

#resident evil #chrisker #metaltango #shake #parker x raymond #jill valentine #quailfic

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devondespresso · 1 year ago

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Why would they bring back love triangle just to make jancy endgame it doesn't make sense to me

basically just to bring that will-they-wont-they tension back. to me, a lot of things happen in this show because they want it, and season 4 is they're big darkest hour right before the big final season so they want the audience to be unsure of the outcome. a red herring subplot if you will.

for the characters and in-world logic, it doesn't make sense, but we've seen that what makes sense doesn't matter nearly as much as what they want to happen. for example: eddies death, by all internal world logic, makes no fucking sense. We watch steve survive the same attack without any medical attention aside from some shirt fabric around his waist while Eddie had like 3 layers of clothes that for some fucking reason nobody thought to zip up. Eddie died not because its the only possible outcome for him but because they wanted to give dustin a gut punch but steves character is more difficult to kill because of how much hes survived and how deeply interwoven he is in the story now. not enough time in the writers room kinda problem

another more broad one: season 3, specifically scoops troop stuff. teenagers are literally tortured, and steve realistically probably would've died from second impact syndrome because he decided to t-bone somebody while probably concussed. but season 3 is supposed to be the silly season, and they like the other plotlines and want their tones to be serious most of the time, so the comic relief duo Dustin and Steve are sentenced to shenanigans with their new funny friends, despite those shenanigans including kidnapping drugging and torture. you're supposed to laugh at steves uss butterscotch speech. why? because someone had to be comic relief to get the tone they wanted, even if it makes more sense for that entire plot to be the heaviest based on material and internal logic

plus they seem to just. like Jonathan more in general. its a common thing in extra source material and even in the show for characters to be hung up on how awful steve used to be, but in season 2 and onward some characters just straight up forget Jonathan took those pictures of nancy. Tommy for example, calls him 'the freaks brother' when talking to steve in the shower, as if he hadn't already talked to Jonathan and only sees him as the creep that took photos of them. but instead he's Will's brother, because Jonathan's the 'correct' answer. hes not like other girls, he's weird and doesn't like people and listens to different music. his 'i don't like most people, he's in the vast majority' line in season 1 isn't framed as something thats hurting him or that he needs to work through. its just his cool and different perspective, even if a bit cynical. Steve is the 'other girls', hes pretty and sporty and was the symbol of highschool hierarchy, even if he's had the most dynamic arc out of any character. hell the reason his character is so dynamic is from joes influence and his headcanons about how this meanie jock thinks and why he does stuff

also the fact that they didn't think to make stancy explicitly break up before jancy boned in s2, and they didn't hold back making jancys kiss the most romantic/payoffy moment they could

but hey, i could be totally wrong here. im new to predicting what happens in shows and mostly i just see where the authors hand comes down to mess around in the universes they create. i think the duffers like jancy better, so they'll make them endgame, and i feel like they definitely have moments where they want a certain tension and have to fuck with the internal logic to make it happen.

if stancy does become endgame, well ill be mostly annoyed because that means i lost a bet with my coworker lol, but id be surprised because it'd mean they're changed their opinions about the characters and kinda left Jonathan without a subplot. maybe they just kill him idk

#asks #stranger things

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surpriserose · 3 years ago

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Chris can u fancast how Hollywood would cast RGU

Jesus christ is this payback for boyfriends posting im sorry ill never do it again

God okay rgu has a pretty big cast and im gonna be ignoring some characters but only like people from the black rose arc sorry mikage and ljke all the minor characters </3 but still this is gonna be long and terrible and ouughhhh >:(

Okay first things first this is Hollywood this shit takes place in LA now and everyones been whitewashed to hell and back since im going the ghost in the shell slash death note light *TURNER* route im so sorry

Utena tenjou, now utena Turner (no relation to light) is gonna be fucking haliee steinfeld because oughhhh it causes me the most amount of pain and i honestly feel like you couldnt pay her to kiss another woman

Anthy himemiya, now called annie hemingway to not confuse american audiences, is played by priyanka Chopra because they remember anthy is indian but not that shes you know dark skinned

Touga kiryuu, now called tony kerrigan, has to be god whats that dude from to all the boys ive loved before? Noah centineo who is painfully miscast because no one understands touga who is now just genuinely utenas love interest probably

Nanami Kiryuu, now fuckinggggg ouuygghh nancy kerrigan or something, is played by jojo siwa who honestly could probably pull it off i believe in her but not with the script and director who probably make nanami unrecognizable. Because its jojo siwa she gets some new original character to have a blink and you miss it gay kiss with

Saionji kyouichi, now god fucking sean cooper or some shit, is now entirely comic relief so anthy and utena can have #girlpower moments that dont work AT ALL so hes probably like fuckign idk one of the jonas brothers the one who was in jumanji he was pretty good actually

Miki kaoru, now mickey kelly i guess, idk hes like tom holland in a bad wig being his best uwu soft boi

Juri Arisugawa, now julie armstrong, is fucking ahhhhh im running out of hip young actors im gonna have to start looking up the euphoria cast list juris uhhh dove Cameron i think that fits in that it doesnt. Juris also straight shiori doesnt exist her new love interest is ruka/ryan played by uhhhh cole sprouse lets dip into riverdale

Hmmm i think thats everyone except akio? Im gonna be vague on akio since you dont know who he is but

Akio is now aaron Hemingway annies brother and hes played but rahul kohli who is the dude whos way too good for this project and honestly i think he could do it but again akio is unrecognizable hes just anthys supportive but hilarously overbearing older brother

Other things that cause me pain aside from casting:

Utena isnt butch anymore she dresses like a Hollywood tomboy and probably gets a feminine makeover at some point and sticks with it

No one is lgbt except nanami and even then plus they probably make a few jokes about anthy and utena looking like a couple and its really homophobic

Idk the rose bride is now the equivalent of a prom queen and everyones competing to get anthy as their date or something but then anthy and utena start competing to be the rose bride

And because its unrecognizable as rgu utena and anthy both become rose brides and its the climax of the movie where theyre like ...women...dont have..to fight each other....we're all rose brides probably with some mean girls references

It closes on utena and touga kissing and probably idk anthy and saionji kissing and the rest of the couples

Olivia rodrigo makes a cameo as like the prom singer or something and does an english pop cover of rinbu revolution that is also unrecognizable

People online get mad if you ship this version of anthy and utena because theyre straight

#Rgu #Sku #Ask to tag #You need to come back to this once yoj finish itll be so so much more painful #Was encouraged to tag this to make everyone suffer so #utena tenjou #anthy himemiya #touga kiryuu #nanami kiryuu #saionji kyouichi #miki kaoru #juri arisugawa

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allthingskakashi · 4 years ago

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• Bells and Balls •

[ Kakashi x Reader ]

Tags : NSFW, Smut

Words : 4.8k

A/n: I wrote over 4k words just to get some dick.

Okay sbsbajash idk I'd been working on this for like a whole week and i couldn't concentrate on anything unless i finished this lmao so here it is whatever, I can't drag this around anymore. Uhhh hope you like it I'm still not very good at writing smut im sorry. This takes place in the post Anbu and pre team 7 era and Kakashi’s a bit of an asshole but you know you still love him. This is also a little similar to my other fic ‘Yearning’ but here you get the s e x and i’m sorry if the characterization is bad, i put more focus on making it hot i guess ok ill shut up now i hope you like it

You give the sheet of paper in your hand one final glance, and look around the room. There’s a long line behind you and you’re surrounded by your fellow jounins, each here to submit their respective lists.

You were extremely happy with the performance of your team and didn’t have to think twice before passing them. You had no doubt that they would make wonderful shinobi. You looked forward to teaching and guiding them, and judging by the chatter around you, most other jounins had passed their teams too.

The trouble, however, remains with Kakashi Hatake.

A few weeks ago, you had all been named squad leaders and put in charge of a squad, and today was your very first day with your assigned teams. As instructed, each of you conducted a test for the genin and depending upon whether they passed or failed, the final list would be announced.

No one till date had ever passed Kakashi Hatake's infamous test, and everyone was sure that no one would this year either. Most genin trembled in fear of him, being aware of his strict methods.

And as it happens, at this moment, this infamous man is right in front you, standing with his back hunched forward as he hands his paper in to the woman behind the desk.

You wait for your turn, your eyes fixating on the red symbol on his vest as you wonder, ruefully, about the fate of the students he must have failed this time.

You take a step forward as he turns around, having submitted his paper, and the line moves up behind you.

Kakashi peeks briefly at your paper as he passes, letting out an audible scoff at the list in your hand before walking on ahead, hands tucked in his pockets.

You’re momentarily confused by this sudden act, but something is already starting to boil up inside you. You aren’t exactly known for being placid, nor for sitting by and allowing people to give you crap. Your eyebrows furrow as you hastily thrust your sheet onto the desk, before making your way to follow after him.

“Do you have a problem?” you call to his back as a few heads turn towards you.

He stops, taking his time turning back to look at you, half lidded eyes looking as indifferent as always.

His demeanour pushes you further to the edge and you take a few steps closer, craning your neck to meet his eyes, waiting for an answer.

“Well?”

He peers down at you unfazed, completely oblivious to the audience around you, as if they are not even there.

“You’re too soft”, he shrugs. “You don’t know how the shinobi world works” he says bluntly, piercing you with his unwavering gaze.

You glare back at him, your mouth twitching with the sled of retorts forming at the back of your tongue.

“Who gave you the right to—"

But he’s already turning away from you, your eyes meeting with the red symbol of his vest once again.

“Hey don’t you fucking walk away from me!” you yell, going forward to stop him, but he saunters on ahead without turning back; his scent lingering in the air as you stand there, watching his figure disappear slowly along the hallway, your fury seething inside you.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

--------------------------------------------------

“Thank you! This is just what I needed.” you chime, digging into the hot bowl of ramen in front of you, your mouth salivating just at the look of it.

You take a big mouthful, revelling in the immediate burst of flavours on your tongue.

“Mmmm.” You moan, “You’ve outdone yourself, Ayame!”

The young girl smiles at you in delight, proceeding to serve you another helping.

You take another blissful bite, closing your eyes to relish the moment.

The streets are quiet around you except for the faint chirp of crickets, as is expected at this hour of the night. It must be past midnight by now, you’re not exactly sure.

You had been tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. For some reason, the encounter with Kakashi from earlier today had you feeling bitter and edgy. You hated that he was in your head, you didn’t understand why. It wasn’t like you to be this bothered by some mindless comments from someone. You’d had altercations before, worse ones, but they were never enough to steal away your night’s sleep.

And yet, this time…

You had to do something to take the edge off, ideally punch him in the face, but since that was not the plausible choice, you settled for the next best thing. Going for a run and treating yourself to your favourite comfort food later.

So here you are now, out at night all by yourself. The Ichiraku shop was still open, bless the lords.

You slurp some of the soup from the bowl and let out a loud smack of your lips.

You can feel your spirits lifting, and you’re glad for it. He wasn’t in your head after all, you were just having a bad day, that’s all.

You shift your focus back to the bowl in front of you, moaning and slurping as you go.

“Whoa there, Get a room.”

The sudden interruption of the familiar voice makes you stop cold.

Are you fucking kidding me?

You look up from your bowl, turning your head around to see none other than Kakashi Hatake, standing smug in all his glory.

The strange pang of bitterness is back in the depths of your stomach and you resist the urge to punch that smug look off his face.

“Ah, if it isn’t Kakashi Hatake, the all-knowing wisenheimer.” you say, your tone snide. “Say, don’t you have somewhere else to be? Some genin to fail?”

He comes around to take a seat on the stool beside you, a smirk evident through his mask, almost as if he’s enjoying this.

“I’ve already failed them” he smiles sweetly at you. “Worked up quite an appetite too.” He says, looking away from you to place his order.

You notice as Ayame notes his order down, the distinct shade of pink that tinges her cheeks as does, before turning away and disappearing into the supplies room at the back of the shop.

Ugh. What is with this guy? Why is it so….

You don’t realise you’re staring at him until he looks back at you, raising a questioning eyebrow. You supress your startlement at being caught, pretending as if you’d meant to be glaring at him.

“What the hell are you even doing out here so late?” you spurt, trying to sound irritated but it comes out sounding almost…concerned?

Thankfully, he doesn’t notice. “I could ask you the same.”

You look away, unwilling to answer. You were out here to get him out of your head, and now here you are, sitting beside him in a ramen shop while the entire village sleeps.

It almost feels like you’re the only two people in the world. The feeling makes something churn inside your stomach.

You dab your mouth with your napkin, before swivelling on the stool to face him. You look at him intently, studying his features. He stares back at you, as if waiting for you to say something.

“Why?” you ask, catching him off guard with it.

“Why what?”

“Why does no one pass your test? What’s so difficult about it?” you ask, gaze fixated on him. You expect him to look uncomfortable but he just shrugs.

“Why do you want to know?”

“I’m curious” you reply truthfully, watching him smirk at your answer.

You hate it when he smirks, how his face looks when he’s being cocky.

Ugh.

He swivels in his chair now, turning his body towards you. “Is that so?”, he says through the smirk, resting his elbow on the counter and leaning in.

You don’t know why, but something about his tone and the way he leans in makes it difficult for you to breathe all of a sudden.

But you’re not one to be fazed.

“Yes” you reply, refusing to let yourself crumple under his gaze. Your voice comes out sounding hoarse, and you clear your throat.

He smirks wider at your reply and stretches the next words out.

“If you’re so curious…Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

Your heart thuds like clapper clanging against a bell. You resist the urge to gulp.

Was it this hot when I left the house?

You clear your throat again. “I don’t have the time to take part in your stupid games”

The smirk is adamant on his lips, his gaze unnerving.

He breathes, “Do you not have the time…or do you not have the balls?”

His tone is challenging. Or inviting. Or both, you’re not really sure, you’re not thinking straight anymore.

Your jacket is too hot against your skin, you writhe beneath the thick material.

Sliding off the stool, you walk slowly towards him, erasing the space in between you bit by bit with each step, until your bodies are a few inches away from touching. Your eyes bore into each other’s as if in silent battle. It’s your turn to smirk now.

“Training Grounds in 20 mins” you whisper. Despite the hitch in your breath, your voice is clear. “Don’t be late.”

You walk past him without breaking your gaze, brushing your shoulder against his arm as you walk by, perhaps a little harder than necessary, leaving Kakashi to stare after you.

--------------------------------------------------

You sit on the damp grass with your back against a tree, waiting. Your jacket lies in a puddle beside you.

You count the weapons in your bag, you hadn’t exactly come out prepared for a fight tonight. Two kunai knives, that’s all.

Would that be enough to take down the copy ninja? You hope so. There’s no way you’re letting him win. It’s time someone taught him a lesson and you would love to be that someone. The nerve of him…to actually challenge you.

He really needs to get a life. But then, here you are too…

Why am I here? What am I even doing?

You close your eyes and tilt your head back against the hard bark, your eyebrows furrowing the way they always do when you’re deep in thought.

Back at the shop… the way he spoke…the look in his eyes— God, Stop. Stop it.

Who the fuck cares about the look in his eyes?

Not me.

It’s okay. I’m good.

We’re here to teach this asshole a lesson. An asshole, that’s what he is. Insufferable and stupid and smug and ridiculously ho— horrible. Ridiculously horrible.

You take a deep breath, opening your eyes and standing up so fast that it makes your head dizzy for a brief second. You start walking around, jerking your arms and legs, stretching your neck, even slapping yourself a few times on the face to make yourself focus.

Yes, I need to focus. The lack of sleep is getting to me.

You crouch down to tighten your shoelaces, before getting up and starting some stretching exercises. Gotta loosen the muscles, make sure you have full flexibility. After all, taking on Kakashi Hatake all by yourself is probably not going to be a piece of cake.

You look down to check your attire: running shorts and a tank top, not fully ideal but it’ll do.

You’re bent over, in the midst of doing rotating toe touches when your eyes fall upon a silhouette far ahead, nearing closer and closer. You pause, standing up straight with your hands on your hips as the figure walks slowly towards you, a faint jingling noise ringing through the air, as Kakashi finally comes near enough for you to make out his face in the dim light.

“Late as always” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

Kakashi stands a few feet away from you, holding something in one hand, other hand inside his pocket. He’s not wearing his jacket anymore either, you observe.

“Sorry, had to go get this” he says, holding up what looks like two small bells with strings attached.

You squint at it, coming closer to get a better look. “What the hell is that?”

“Bells”, he smiles. “That’s the test. You have to get these bells from me. You can use any attack you want but… since you’re not a genin, I’ll raise the stakes a little higher for you. You cannot use ninjutsu or genjustu. It has to be purely physical attacks. You have till dawn.”

This little fucker. He knows taijutsu is not my strong point.

But fine. If that’s how he wants to play this, so be it. I’m taking him down one way or another.

“Dawn?” you chuckle, fixing him with your gaze. “I don’t need till dawn” you sneer, coming forward with a kick aimed to his head. He blocks it just as you’re about to make contact, grasping your ankle in his strong hold.

“I didn’t say start yet” he says through a smirk, letting go of your foot.

You take a few steps backwards, glowering at him as he ties the bells to a loop on his trousers. They hang over his thighs with a jingle, silver metal glimmering in the moonlight.

He looks back up at you, eyes twinkling with an unusual sparkle.

There’s that look again…

“Go” he commands, his body tensing up into a defensive stance immediately, ready for you.

You fix your gaze on the shiny metal of your goal and hurl yourself forward, your arms meeting each other’s in blows and defences. You throw a few kicks to his stomach, making him tumble but not enough to knock him out.

You shift your stance, before directing another punch to his face; he deflects it, sniggering.

Okay okay okay, I’m not focusing. I need to focus.

You take a deep breath.

Kakashi stands waiting, his features emanating pure amusement.

You feel a restlessness brewing within you, a strange energy buzzing through your veins. You’d been itching to punch him in the face and now’s your chance.

You watch him, mentally calculating all your options. His silver hair shines like moonbeams in the dark.

FOCUS.

Drawing a kunai from your bag, you lunge forward, distracting him with a kick to the head as your kunai slashes through the air, just about to cut across the strings when— your hand is caught in his grasp, a ‘slap!’ cutting through the air as his palm clasps around your wrist.

He bores into you, your wrist held firmly in his hand as he turns you around swiftly, gripping both your wrists at the back.

You feel the muscles of his chest against your body as he comes closer, the metal bells hanging over his leg brushing against your fingertips behind you.

You wriggle your hands, trying to break free but it’s in vain. His grip is firm, slender fingers digging into your skin as he leans into your ears, his warm breath tickling your skin.

“Not so fast” he whispers, his lips almost brushing the top of your ears.

The words send a shudder through your spine. You feel the black sky closing in on you, there’s a hum springing through your veins.

He loosens his grip as your hands fall, the kunai held limply in your hand. You turn around, your heart skipping a beat at how close he is to you. You feel your resolve weakening.

No.

Stop.

Your hand flies to the collar of his shirt, the other hand holding the kunai to his throat as you push him backwards with your body, your eyes blazing into his.

Keeping the kunai at his throat, you lower your other hand slowly, brushing it down his chest, his muscles taut under your hand. You trail your hand down along the line of his sternum, down the firmness of his stomach and further down, your fingers lightly caressing the bulge of his trousers before they almost make contact with the bells alongside, right there, just a flick away—

so close—

Before your wrist is caught in a sudden, fast clutch again.

His grip is much stronger this time, unyielding, hungry. Your bones ache beneath his hold.

You watch something ignite in his eyes as his shoulders rise and fall in rhythm to your heaves. You suddenly realise how out of breath you are.

In the flash of a moment, Kakashi grips your kunai holding hand, holding it away from his throat as he pushes you, the weight of his body pressing onto yours as your feet scrape along the ground, stumbling backwards till your back slams against a tree, the force making your body jolt. The kunai slips from your hand.

His arms pin you defenceless against the tree, his gaze holding you hostage, burning through your skin.

The touch of his skin against yours feels alien. When was the last time you felt the warmth of someone’s skin? You cannot recall.

He’s so close to you, you cannot see anything beyond him.

In the dark, under the moonlight, the edges of his face look softened.

A wind passes by, the sound of rustling leaves filling through the silence. A volcano erupts within you.

Now.

You gulp. Up this close, you can make out the outline of his mouth.

Now.

Your lips press into Kakashi’s in a desperate lurch, your neck straining to meet him as far as his grip on you allows. Your heart explodes like firecrackers inside your chest as your tongue pushes against the cloth of his mask, demanding to be let in.

You feel his grip loosen around your wrists as the mask is off and he reciprocates, his lips on yours, his hand gripping your chin up as his tongue moves in fervent swirls inside your mouth.

A thousand questions swarm inside your head, buzzing but you’re not being controlled by your head anymore. You can feel the thud of his chest against your own.

He trails his hand down to your throat, holding you in place, other hand exploring every edge and curve of your body before it snakes down the waistband of your shorts, down the elastic of your underwear.

You gasp, arching your back as you feel the touch of his long fingers down there, moaning helplessly into his mouth as he rubs along your wet entrance in rapid strokes.

Your head is a dizzy mess of jumbled emotions as yearning overpowers your senses, your previous resolve weakening into a mushy puddle with every stroke and thrum of his fingers inside you.

He pulls away from your mouth to leave sloppy kisses down your neck, his tongue painting patterns along your skin as you catch a glimpse of his face and you see it— his face, glowing under the moonlight. And you realise.

He’s…beautiful.

An overwhelming ache breaks through your senses, creating a frenzied whirlwind of passion and agony in your mind. Your detestation for him crumbles into pieces underneath the weight of your desire, as you realise…

You don’t hate him.

You never did.

Not even close.

Not even a little bit.

Not even at all.

You pull his face up to meet your lips again, planting urgent kisses on his mouth as your hands tease the hem of his shirt. His fingers slip out of you and you can feel the wetness of your panties, soaked through with arousal.

“Kakashi…” you whisper in pleasure as he looms over you, your foreheads touching, out of breath and heaving with exhilaration. His eyes burn with the same passion that you feel inside.

“We can’t…shouldn’t…here…people...” you mutter in struggled breaths, as he plants another kiss to your lips, the sparks from it fogging your mind

“Since when do you care about people?” he whispers against your ear, his raspy voice enough to strip you off of all your remaining sense and judgement.

You pull his shirt over his head in one swift motion, throwing it to the ground beside as he follows, taking off your shirt and then unhooking your bra, tossing both away as his hands reach for you in hungry clutches.

His hands caress your breasts, pressing them and pulling on your hardened nipples, his mouth following soon after. His lips lock around them, sucking hard as you bury your face into his broad shoulders, biting lightly to keep yourself from screaming.

You sink your fingers into his hair, tugging softly as his mouth moves in a wet trail further down your body, strands of his hair tickling your stomach as he goes, his hands tugging your panties, sliding them down the curves of your hips.

Your heart thuds in your ears as Kakashi sits crouching in front of you, parting your legs. He looks up at you, as if asking for your permission, and you give it to him by pulling the back of his head closer between your legs.

He puts your right leg over his shoulder, spreading you for him, his other hand clutching the back of your left thigh as his mouth teases you down there.

The tip of his tongue flicks at your entrance, before it finds your weakest spot, and you feel your body shuddering, barely able to keep your balance.

You tug at his hair harder as his tongue moves skilfully inside you, fingers rubbing your swollen clit simultaneously. You feel every nerve ending in your body come alive as you moan out his name “K-Kakashi…” through trembling lips.

Your insides shudder and a deep moan forms at the back of your throat, threatening to escape as Kakashi puts his hand over your mouth, before pulling you down on top of him with a sudden tug.

You come down with a thud on his thighs, your body jolting with the force as you watch him in front of you, the copy ninja… bare bodied and heaving in front of your eyes.

Who would have thought…

You straddle him, admiring his unclad torso, before pushing his shoulders down with your hands, making him lie back on the grass as you stoop over him. His eyes are fixated on you, pure pleasure making itself known on his face.

He really is beautiful.

You bend forward, your mouth exploring the smoothness of the skin on his chest, as a strange cold feeling down there distracts you.

You look down, squinting in the dark to find yourself sitting on two glimmering metal balls placed over his thigh.

The bells.

A thrill runs through your nerves as you smirk, glancing up at him.

He’s noticed it too.

His eyes return the same sparkle of mischief as yours as he lies still, waiting.

You press your hands down on his chest, locking your gaze with his as you position yourself over the bells, tilting your head back as you move back and forth over them.

The cold metal of the bells rubs against you, sending tremors through your entire body.

Your gaze at Kakashi again, watching him squirm at the sight of you, his hands twitching to feel your skin.

You keep your eyes on him as you slide down slightly on his thigh, tugging his trousers down as you go. Your hands find the base of his cock as you allow yourself to admire his throbbing length.

He leans his head back on the grass and you feel him getting harder in your hands.

Forming your hand into a fist around him, you move it up and down along his shaft in slow steady strokes, leaning down to bring your mouth closer to his tip, before swirling your tongue in circles around his skin.

His hips tremble as he clutches onto the grass, writhing.

Your lips clasp around his cock, mouth slurping up and down his length, taking your time sliding down to the base and back up, your hands following suit.

You tease him, switching between the tip of your tongue and your whole mouth, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through him.

He quivers and you sit back up, bending forward over his face and pressing your lips on his. A groan from his mouth erupts inside yours as he clutches your hips.

His hands guide your hips back and forth over his length, your lips trembling as he slips into you, his cock finally inside you, pushing into you, filling you as deep as you can be filled.

A new rush of pleasure burns through your senses, your insides stretching as you move your hips around him, back and forth and then in circles.

“A-a-ah...mm…yeah…”, your muffled moans cut through the depths of the forest in the silence of the night.

Kakashi breathes your name, the eruption of your name from his lips enough to send you to a frenzy, filling your heart with drunken fervour.

You moan his name back in reply, hopping up and down on him as his arm snakes behind your waist and he flips you over in a sudden, swift movement, the weight of his body falling over you now.

You arch your back, pushing your hips up to meet his, unwilling to break away even for a second.

You want him so, so bad.

The pointy peaks of grass underneath poke your skin, your nails digging into his back as he nibbles on your neck, thrusting deep, deep into you.

You feel the familiar shudder from earlier again, your mind getting clouded with waves of pleasure coursing through you. Kakashi’s grunts quaver in your ear as you feel his hips jerk in tune to yours.

There’s a tantalizing jolt of ecstasy through your body as you scream out, your quivering voice matching his grunts as you both put a hand over the other’s mouth, your muffled moans melting into each other’s skin. He quivers inside you for a final time before you feel him slipping out of you, as hot wet cum trickles along the insides of your thighs, dripping into the dewy grass beneath.

Droplets of sweat from his hair drips down on you, tasting salty in your mouth. You heave together in exhaustion as he plops down on you, before rolling to the side.

You lie on your back panting, your entire body damp with sweat.

Languor threatens to take over you as you struggle to keep your eyes open, looking up into the night sky.

You see a firefly glowing above your head. You lift a lazy hand to reach it, but it flies away far above, becoming one with the twinkling stars in the sky.

Soft sounds of Kakashi’s breath echo beside you, his foot still touching yours lightly as the both of you lie heaving under the stars.

He turns his head to look at you and you can feel his eyes on you as you try, with all the fibres in your body, to not look back at him.

You know you won’t be able to hold yourself together any longer if you do.

He extends a hand towards you. “That was…”

“Sshhh… Shut up” you say in a slumberous whisper, moving closer into his arm, putting your own around him, your head buried into chest as you feel your eyes getting heavy…not able to stay awake anymore. You feel Kakashi envelope you in his arms, the warmth from his skin against the cold air lulling you to sleep, your mind becoming foggy as you close your eyes, slowly drifting off somewhere far, far away…

--------------------------------------------------

Your eyes open to the chirping of birds perched on the branches above, rays of morning light casting a rosy glow in the horizon.

You watch the half light in the distance, rubbing your eyes, smiling to yourself.

The night had taken with it the black clouds of denial fogging your mind, your heart is as clear as day now.

You turn your head just in time to see Kakashi opening his eyes, his eyes puffy, imprints of grass marking his soft cheek.

You smile at him as he looks at you, lips curled into a sleepy smile. “Good morning” he yawns, tapping over his mouth with his palm.

“I won.”

“Hmm?” he asks groggily, eyes still adjusting to the light.

You hold up the two small bells in front of him, they jingle over his face.

He chuckles. “I don’t think so. It’s past dawn”

“I took them off before. I won.”

He laughs again, his face lighting up in a way you’d never seen before. He looks even more beautiful in the daylight.

“In all fairness y/n, there are no losers here.”

You laugh along with him now, reaching across and smoothening the imprints on his cheek, keeping your hand there, cupping his cheek.

“So, I passed?” you ask, looking at him, inching closer.

He looks back at you, with the same look from earlier in his eyes.

But you’re not turning yourself blind to it anymore.

“Top of the class” he laughs, pulling you closer, nuzzling your nose with his before pressing his lips into yours.

Notes :-

Did I quote 10 Things I Hate About You on a Kakashi Smut?

Yes, yes i did.

#kakashi #kakashi fanfiction #kakashi x reader #kakashi smut #kakashi x reader smut #naruto #naruto fanfiction #naruto x reader #kakashi fanfic #kakashi x reader fluff

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spikedru · 2 years ago

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hey i wanted to ask! bc i remember you saying how you felt about spuffy but you hadn't rewatched s7 yet. did that affect how you saw them at all? also if you're okay answering, what do you think of seeing red? I've recently begun to think of it as. kind of out of character. like i know spuffy was downward spiraling but it kind of felt like seeing red was "what should we have happen so that things get super bad and spike goes and gets a soul" and not actually something that spike would. have really done? idk. I'm not a spuffy fan but i do think things about that episode

i still havent actually rewatched s7 lol i had been rewatching s6 back in march last year but stopped right before riley showed up again and didnt get around to picking it back up haha. ill probably think about doing a full series rewatch and liveblog after i graduate college (so sometime during the summer) and actually try to get through to the end

that being said i have not actually sat down and rewatched seeing red since the first time i watched the series. so. almost a decade ? at this point ? if thats any indication of how i feel about that episode. it has been a while. its on par with the body in terms of episodes that i never really want to rewatch (though for completely different reasons, obviously) more thoughts below

the way i tend to view seeing red is that of poorly thought through shock value writing. i agree with you in that it feels like a writers decision to have the worst thing happen in order to motivate spike to seek his soul, and not something that feels correct to the character. already by that point you have spike reflecting on their tryst and realizing the way things were was not making either of them truly happy, so it would not take that much prodding for him to realize something had to change. there are other ways to get spike to his breaking point without having to subject buffy to sexual violence. even though their relationship was volatile and played with gray areas of consent, i never got the impression that spike would truly violate buffy's consent. i think writing in an attempted rape affects the way the audience views them on a much deeper level than the writers were expecting. because, a lot of the trauma that buffy endures through the show, while very real to her, has a fantasy element that places a layer of separation from the audience. most people cannot understand the despair of having to send your boyfriend to actual Hell, or the betrayal of being ripped from actual Heaven by your friends. but there are members of the audience who do know the terror and betrayal of sexual violence by their partner. so i think that aspect wasnt taken into serious enough account when deciding to have your main characters love interest and general audience favorite do something so realistically deplorable. thats why i think it was mainly a shock value decision rather than based in any way the character would actually act. not even to mention the fact like. most everyone else in the production hating having to film it and james marsters has said because of SR he will never do a scene like that ever again he hated it that much.

from the refresher ive seen of s7 (from people gifsets and spuffy scenes and meta about spike, the soul, and buffy etc) i wish we had got more of a buildup to a true spuffy reconciliation. there is so much happening in s7. so much that a lot tends to get lost or not as much time focused on in order to get to the very end. i do really think that buffy was incredibly moved and touched by spikes decision to get his soul back. personally i think the choice to get the soul is more impactful than the soul itself, as it demonstrates how remorseful spike is over the AR and his willingness to atone for it without expecting anything in return. and how buffy recognizes that and thats why shes able to forgive him and let him back into her life. but because there are only 22 episodes to fit plot into the reconciliation happens just. a little too quick. i had wished that. idk. it happened over 2ish seasons? so we see spike struggling to reconcile with his soul just a lil bit longer and him settling with it and buffy seeing that struggle while still wanting him around. idk. a lot of my problems with s7 come from pacing issues. while i have my problems with s7 as a whole, i do generally like the spuffy progression in it, even if i wanted it to take a lil longer. in all of buffys past relationships, there are things that happened that make her believe that she is somehow responsible for her partners turning bad, or thinking she is somehow lesser for being with them. but learning that spike got his soul back for her, something she views as essential and good, it shocks her that she could inspire someone to change that much for the betterment of themselves. and because of that she can truly trust him enough to love him completely.

so like long story short i hate that seeing red involved sexual violence and i wish there had been some other way to get to the point of spike realizing he needs to change, but considering the way s7 went i dont think it changes my perspective on their relationship that much. i think spike and buffy are one of the most interesting relationships on the show just by how much they change themselves and each other by being in their lives, and thats why im so invested in them

#very sorrry if this is rambly or doesnt make sense but i hope i answered your question !#asks #seeing red /

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bleachbleachbleach · 2 years ago

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Please, I would like to see your bingo card for the greatest adjutant, Abarai Renji.

@whipplefilter:

ALT

They are soooooo cool looking: Self explanatory. Renji just looks cool, whether he’s a skrunkly little howler monkey or flashing the most ludicrous drip that could only ever look good on him, or when he’s covered in blood, or sleeping in a warehouse in the middle of a blood war. Best-dressed in all of Soul Society, and also Karakura, and Hueco Mundo, and Hell.

They’re deeper than they seem: Like the Ukitake and Kyouraku one, I waffled on whether to choose this one or not, because I think Renji is exactly as deep as the text suggests he is. There is plenty of depth right there on the page. But I think about how Renji might come across to general audiences who don’t have weird Tumblr hyperfixation illnesses of the brain—like, what impression my mom would come away with if she were to watch random episodes of Bleach on TV—and that version of Renji is a less interesting Renji, if perhaps an easy one to end up with.

A bit ago I ended up on a Reddit thread (after Googling "when was the Quincy genocide?"—as one does) that was a bunch of people complaining about how… useless??? Renji???? was???? (Well, they were complaining about both Renji and Hitsugaya, but this post is about Renji.) I mean, I disagree, but I was fascinated by what the thread’s frames of reference were, and what assumptions they were built on. It was a very different world from the one that floats around in my head. It had a lot to do with kill counts and win/lose ratios. I don’t say this because I don’t care about the fighting element of Bleach (I like the fighting quite a bit). But I also feel like if you don’t die, and no one else dies, then that counts as a win for a shinigami. They’re fighting monsters, not participating in some kind of sports tournament. XP Even irrespective of that, though, Renji is easily one of the most capable and dependable out of all of these fuckers, both because he has a giant bone snake AND because he’s "deeper than he seems." Aggressive and quick-acting, yes, but also kind of a planner? He clearly thinks about all of these things a lot. He thinks a lot about both bone snake things and about things in general. And he has about 80% of all the interpersonal skills in the entire Gotei. He has character depth and roster depth.

Didn’t Get Enough Screen Time: Okay Renji probably got a lot of screen time, but I feel like we could have done with more, right? Always more. He is in my Top 5 Favorite Characters, which obviously means I’m completely unbiased when it comes to how much Renji I think should exist. Where’s my filler episode about Renji instituting the 6th Division Caper Chart, where’s the futsal episode (don’t you dare @ me, Episode 132), and idk, I would have loved to have seen him have more interesting things to do in the Hueco Mundo arc. That was a great arc for Rukia, Orihime, and Ichigo, but I don’t really remember what anyone else got to do (minus Byakuya, but I attach that to Rukia). I mean, Renji looked good in a travel cloak, so there’s that. But if that arc lacked for something it was probably in excellent and plentiful Renji content, I guess? For comparison, please bear in mind exactly how many chapters we spent on that ELEPHANT ARRANCAR GUY.

I want to carry them in a handbag like a tiny dog: FORTY YEARS.

@ippoddity

They are So Cool Looking/If They Were Real I Would be Afraid/Why Do They Look Like That: We all know Renji looks cool. 90% of the time, he’s the one bringing the swag. He looks awesome, and honestly I think he knows it. At the same time, you have to admit he looks terrifying. He is 6’2”, built like a brick wall, has flaming red hair, and intimidating tattoos. He also works as the equivalent of a Soul Society cop. If I were to just meet this guy on the street, I’d be afraid. This also brings up the age old question — why does he look like that. What’s with the tattoos that he is so proud of, but also very sensitive about? I’ve seen lots of head canons about Renji’s tattoos and I think they’re all very fun to consider. (But also lol consider that maybe the tattoos are something that happens every time Renji gets drunk. It’s like a series of low inhibition decisions are just being displayed for the world to see, but deep down he never would’ve gotten them if some part of him didn’t also think they were awesome.)

They’re Deeper Than They Seem: I’m a bit conflicted on this, because I don’t necessarily think Renji is any deeper than he is presented in the series. Which is not to say he doesn’t have plenty of depth. But I also think this because I have spent a long long long time thinking about Renji and picking apart his every appearance, and I don’t think most people have spent quite so much time doing so. During my first brush with Bleach, Renji was one of my favorite characters, but it was because he looked cool and acted flashy and beat people up. He has a freakin awesome zanpakuto that’s a skeleton snake! It wasn’t until this time around that I began to appreciate Renji for his thoughtfulness, leadership skills, and friendship. I’ve mentioned this before, but one of my favorite Renji moments is when he has the group do an old-fashioned team chant in Hueco Mundo. It’s so defining for how conceive of him, and why I think there’s a lot more to him than initially meets the eye.

They’re Like a Blorbo/They Didn’t Get Enough Screen Time: Look, I love Renji. He’s definitely in my Top 5 Characters. I might even go so far as to say Top 3? I spend a lot of my idle time thinking about him just because. And we have plenty of Renji screen time, but I could always do with more. Like, I would love to see more about how he spent his time in 11th. Or, as whipplefilter said FUTSAL EPISODE.

Free Space: I’d love to learn more about his relationship with Byakuya. Because at the time story starts, Renji has been Byakuya’s vice captain for what, a month? And even by the end of the series, it’s barely been a couple of years. In the shinigami scheme of things, that is a relatively new relationship (consider how long Yamamoto and Sasakibe were working together). I’ve seen quite a lot of fic that touches on how Renji’s presence influences Byakuya, but how much does Byakuya influence Renji? Certainly Byakuya has influenced Renji quite a bit from afar (in fact Byakuya was a major contributor in Renji’s life trajectory for 40yrs), but that was more Renji’s conception of Byakuya. Now that Renji works with real flesh-and-blood Byakuya, what’s changed?

They Work Better as Part of a Dynamic: Don’t get me wrong, I think Renji stands his own perfectly well as an individual agent. To be honest, his fighting style and zanpakutou type don’t really lend themselves all that well to group fighting. BUT, I love Renji in a team. Hueco Mundo Team Chant. Renji’s futsal team. I really love the Ishida & Renji vs Szayelaporro fight because of the teamwork involved. These two barely know each other, but they make it work (largely because of Renji, I think). Now imagine what Renji and Byakuya could look like 5-10yrs down the line. I still think Hitsugaya and Matsumoto are Captain/Vice-Captain Teamwork #goals, but I’d love to imagine a future where Byakuya and Renji have conceived of some kind of Senbonzakura/Zabimaru bone-snake/cherry blossom tornado or something.

#please know we tried so hard to keep these short #there was trying to be had #it didn't work out so well #abarai renji #ask games #bingo card meme #no brain just bleach

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wizzycore · 3 years ago

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the thing about karamelle is that it tries to have 2 separate plots going on at once and it fails. the Cabal plotline (the disappearance of the Old One) and the Corporate plotline (the strikes and unions and propaganda and whatnot). The plots are so utterly disconnected. You can explain one without even mentioning the other. as a young author, i can tell you: that is BAD WRITING. Things need to connect. Plotlines must be weaved together like rope, not simply placed side by side like hay.

like, at least Zafaria's individual plot (finding the missing students) connects to the overall plot of Arc 2 (stopping morganthe), because Morganthe actively split the students up and kidnapped the Prince to recover something that'd aid her in her own goals. As you quest through the world you slowly discover how deep her influence runs, and slowly piece together her plot. It builds her as a villain, albeit only subtly.

oh yeah for sure like this is mad well written, (your ask i mean) i just really fucking hate zafaria because im a hater. im sorry to morganthe im just a little hater. idk something about fighting the elephant guy a billion times and also the weird way zafaria gets treated by the narrative (whitely) just makes me not like it.

see heres the thing i actually had a BETTER time there in zafaria than im having so far here. also thank you everybody for being very courteous about not spoiling the dip-end of karamelle for me! i appreciate u all very much for being careful.

anywho, you're exactly right! hell i didn't even think about how much the two plots do not mesh at all i was too busy burning with rage about the way yw was absolutely just jerked around thruout it so far.

OH, yeah, so! LOOOONG rant below. ill just cap it under a read below. here we go.

soooo MY personal gripe with the writing of karamelle so far is just....... it both assumes the player is extremely smart and extremely stupid -- things that have been explained by characters (example - GRETA) in one moment is immediately ignored for the next 20 quests because the story assumes you didn't read it, and makes the wizard look like a total idiot. but THEN, because we no longer have the anchor of a narrator (which, though it doesn't, in my heart makes this feel sooo much messier), we're left to try and divulge information from so many unreliable narrators, so often that we're left with genuinely Nothing to work with in EITHER plot. I *really* wanted to be a part of both plots! I gave them both such a chance! And the old one/cabal plot TRIES to be a faux-murder mystery, but it doesn't follow up on that because it drunkenly falls into the unionizing plot (i.e the frankly obnoxious half-truths that von trap seems obsessed with dropping before leaving) instead of delivering meanful information to the player!!!!!

there was one moment where i genuinely said, "okay, yw cannot be doing this, are we hypnotized right now?" and my friend said, "no, but i appreciate your leaps to try and make this make sense", and then seconds later we heard a piece of dialogue that genuinely made them think "no, maybe you're right". i just. god. this world seems like it had such good BONES, is the thing!

i think another place where this paradoxical player is smart/player is stupid blunder occurs is in actually just the delivery of the themes of the unionization plot. every post ive seen so far seems to talk about this the most LOL. like........ the themes could NOT be more hamfisted. its sort of as though they expected that the market they were writing for in arc 1 had to suddenly digest themes with a level of complexity that the audience for arc 3 was used to. except arc 1 writing was literally more complex than this.

ACTUALLY, i take that back. the writing in karamelle IS complex -- but i mean that INCREDIBLY derogatorily. the writing is complex because its convoluted, because we're handfed so many dead-ends and lies in the haste to try and MAKE the player understand that this is a propaganda driven society (DESPITE the fact that in the past "propaganda" such as the old one existing in the first place or, say, grandfather spider being real (stretch) were true) that the story just handwaves away from the INCREDIBLY obvious, child-media level of obvious, themes and tries to direct the player towards some bullshit they won't need 10 levels from then, just in an ATTEMPT at complexity.

not to stan empryea, but im going to compare really quickly to the nimbus section of empryea. nimbus has the same bones as karamelle does. two groups, both giving false information, interfering and fucking with the player at every moment. but from the MOMENT you enter nimbus you can feel somethings off (and, actually, we in my discord server were somewhat dissatisfied with how long it took to uncover what we had already figured out) (and secondly, it's less in your face than karamelle. good lord.) and the buildup is TANGIBLE. the discovery of clues as to what happened to sparck and his parents, what side people are truly on, and what their plans are, are CONSISTENT. they are SOMEWHAT SUBTLE. and they build up to something EMOTIONAL and IMPORTANT to the PLAYER (bat!! the chains!!). nimbus does, admittedly, do its share of thinking the player is stupid -- but it doesn't IMPEDE the story. the red herrings given are distracting but in a way that makes sense narratively.

AND!!!! the themes of the effects of militarism, the conflict between science and religion or magic, the themes of blood and what that means, they aren't as CRAMMED down the players throat. you are free to interpret the events, to understand them and what they mean underneath the setting, and most importantly to understand what they mean for the player!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUGHHH!!!! and the only time they fail at this is sacrificing complexity for comedy (niles) (but its funny so it gets a pass).

karamelle, i gotta say, takes all the minor flaws of the nimbus storyline and cranks them up to ten, and then adds a couple more on for good measure.

and (my last rant point) karamelle just. Isn't Enjoyable. Even if you look past all of the story blunders, even if you look past the age old "ah, the first world of any arc isn't necessarily going to be perfect", even if you look past the INCREDIBLY crammed in theme conveying.... karamelle isnt fun!!!!! the (as my dnd dm friend says) railroading is a constant frustration, the locations are dreary (purposeful, yes, but to push a point the audience ALREADY UNDERSTANDS!!!!!), and it feels as though you can take no action that counts whatsoever. your hand is dragged by von trap more than your hand has ever been dragged before. all of the folktale and fairytale references are simple headnods at most and never incorporated very much into the story, and the locations that are fun to look at you never stay in very long.

i understand that the story is meant to be heavy, but the khrysalis storyline is said to be the heaviest one ever executed, and yet you feel engaged and BOPPING to the storybeats all the way through. (well, if you can get through all of the quests.) (luckily, in a pure force of hyperfixation, i stayed engaged and boppin the whole time). and, i realize that this may be a reaction to what fans felt were what they liked least about, say, mellori -- the excessive comical relief. well, in karamelle, i feel as though they struggled to find a middle point. not just in comedy but in immersion, in creativity, and in the level of enjoyment the average player might have.

soooo. yeah.

#w101 #wizard101 #karamelle spoilers #long post

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estrellami-1 · 3 years ago

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Hi Sam!

The more years that passes, the more I keep believing this idea that Hollywood is intentionally making bad decisions regarding movies with main non-cis/POC/LGBT

Like why is it that in the past (like 1980s-2000s) there are good movies with diverse main characters that are praised but nowadays, people criticize such movies as being token, SJW etc. ???

Like even if we blame the scriptwriters, wouldn't there be a bunch of people who comment on the script if it's good or not???

I'm so frustrated at seeing comic and non comic fans criticize too harshly when it comes to MCU movies :/

Them:

Valkyrie being the queen of new Asgard??? There is surely an agenda here!!!

Me: uhh... Well, Thor wasn't the kind of prince that sat on a throne and solved his people's issue. Like the one time I can remember he was acting as the ruler was during Thor: Ragnarok when he saved Asgardians and tried to find a new home. Before that, it was Odin and Loki disguised as Odin, and even Frigga (from the very little i can remember.... I think?), Post Ragnarok??? He descended into depression (understandable with the things that happened to him which the Endgame...... Made fun of that in the most rude way :/) and from the looks of it, Valkyrie was fixing the problems that came with settling down on a new planet.

Them:

Female Thor? You see this??? They are replacing the male heroes to make a soulless copy of them but female!!

Me:

Okay, nobody likes to copy a character with a few changes such as changing their gender or sexuality BUT nobody is going to ignore Thor! It just gives us an insight into a girl who has Thor's powers. What's wrong with that? He already has three movies! Cinema is not the same as comics where the actors stay the same age, where you can produce many Thor works along side other alternative Thors as if money grows on a tree or the movie can be made as easily as a comic issue in two months or something! ://

Spiderman trilogy (MCU) had the most horrible script. From the erasure of Aunt May's character as nothing other than Irresponsible Guardian who is constantly hit on by men :/

The erasure of Captain America: winter soldier by showing Tony giving a kid a satellite that can search your information and kill you if the owner choses to do so :/

Erasing Peter's struggles as a working class who tries to balance his life, relationship, secrets and money issues :/

Spiderman's plot in NWH was messy as hell (it just fixed some of the issues that we had with him in previous movies such as him getting help most of the time and doesn't struggle with money). From Aunt May's illogical actions to the "fixing villains" solution that unsettled me (idk if it just me but it was unsettling to see them getting fixed without their consent. I get it, some of them suffered from mental illness and such people in extreme conditions don't want to get treated, it's the defence mechanism talking but some others such as Electro, Sandman and Lizard don't have the same issue as Doc Oc or Green Goblin sooooo it gave me some abuse vibes). Yet, this movie made billions because at the end of the day somethings can make or break a movie such as:

Nostalgia, Advertisement, social media (especially YouTube critics) where people get easily influenced and thus decide to whether see a movie or not.

Which is pretty funny and at the same time stupid to me ://

I hate YouTube critics the most because thousands of people see their videos and it does impact the movie's box office ://

Some of them are like "ehh... It was bad, I regret spending my money on it, don't see it because of this and that"

Then proceeds to see a movie more than two times for the "I want to analyse the movie in the best way". The same mentality goes to audiences :/

They are like: let us not see Eternals (movie) because some of the critics said it was the worst, my money needs to be spend wisely (proceeds to see Endgame, CA:CW, Spiderman:NWH several times without a care about the money)

Sorry it turned into a very looooong rant but I couldn't help myself. Such mindset and issues are really hurting the diversity representations and in return, it will hurt their reviews and box office.

What do you think about these issues??

Hello friend!

Please let me preface by saying I’m not black; I’m a white-passing Hispanic, so I’ve had what’s felt like representation my whole life. My best friend put it perfectly: Pepa in Encanto was the first white Hispanic I’ve seen in a movie, and it was exhilarating to see that kind of representation. With that, though, please take my response with a grain of salt; I’m not an expert on race in media, nor is it even my minor; I’m simply a person trying to do their best. I hope not to offend anyone, and if I do, please let me know; it’s never my intention.

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know what counts as a “good” movie anymore; in my book, “good” means “it was entertaining and held my attention.” Can all movies use more representation? Sure! And some do great (I’m thinking the recently-released Single All the Way on Netflix). I don’t know that the Hollywood execs are consciously making bad decisions so much as they aren’t consciously making good ones. They’re upper middle class, white, etc. They’ve always had representation, and they always will. It’s part of that privilege that they don’t know they have, because it’s never something they think about. That’s why Black Panther was revolutionary. I’m hesitant to automatically think the worst of people, and I’d rather think they’re unintentionally being idiots than consciously being dicks.

I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean about movies from the 80s to the 2000s being criticized today; I haven’t seen that. Yes, all movies have their critics, and if all you’re hearing is hate from those critics, then you’re going to believe that’s all that’s being said about those movies. If you can provide evidence, I’d be more than happy to look into it! As it is, though, I’m afraid I’m not very well-versed in that particular issue.

I haven’t heard much hate about Valkyrie being Queen of Asgard, or a female Thor, and the little I did hear seemed to be squashed relatively quickly by the ever-growing crowd of feminists (and lesbians, and bisexuals, and… well, you get it) who are excited to see these women in positions of power. Again, if all you ever hear are the critics’ hate, that’s all you’re going to believe is being said.

Respectfully, I’m not going to get into the Spider-Man debate. I understand there are people who hated the movies and who probably hate Tom Holland for “stealing” Peter Parker; there are also people for whom Tom’s Spider-Man is their favorite. This is a minefield that I’m not comfortable stepping into. Same goes with CA:CW as far as you’re talking about with Spider-Man’s intro.

Here’s where I’m at with YouTube critics (and all critics in general): if you don’t want to listen to them, you don’t have to. Venom got an awful rating, yet everyone I know who saw it said they loved it. Critics are looking for things that may not be there. They can tell you all they want not to go watch this movie because x, y, and z, but you’re the one with your own money and your own control over it. You don’t have to listen to them. Go see the movie if you want; if you like it, say it! Prove the critics wrong. Critics aren’t the end-all, be-all for movies. They’re people, just like you and me, and people can be wrong.

Here’s an example: I was talking to my best friend about Eternals. She said “oh, yeah, I saw it. I didn’t like it at all.” She did mention something about a sex scene (I haven’t seen the movie yet) and that, more than anything, made me hesitant to see it; because regardless of how she feels about it, she knows I’m probably going to see it anyways. (I may not now, because sex isn’t always a good thing for me and she knows that, which is why she said it.) Notice how she didn’t try to dissuade me; she simply said she didn’t like it, then “hey, if you do see it, be careful; there’s a sex scene in the beginning, kind of a long one, and I know how you are about that.” I said “okay, thanks, I might try it on a day when sex is better for me. Thanks for the warning!” And that was it. You can have the same conversations with critics, even if they are one-sided. As I said before, critics can’t physically hold you and your money captive. If you want to see it, screw the critics and go see it. Either it’s a waste of seven bucks, or you love it. But you’ll never know until you go see it.

I definitely believe race, gender and sexuality—or the lack thereof—in media is an issue. But I also know there’s nothing that I can really do. I can tell everyone I know to go see Black Panther, and to buy it when it comes out on DVD. I can tell them not to do the same for another movie. I can yell it from the rooftops all I want, but at the end of the day, the only person I’m talking to is myself. I’ve found that people typically ignore what others are saying about movies or video games or whatever until they try it for themselves. They may agree with the critic that it was awful, but for entirely different reasons!

We, as people, each have our own unique schema; our little blend of life that’s unique to us and only us. No one else is going to feel exactly the way you do about certain things because they don’t have your schema. Their schema might mean they hate the idea of a new Spider-Man; my schema might mean I love the idea, but can’t fathom the idea of yet another iteration of dark and gloomy Batman. We’re all different, and the only person we can decide for is ourselves. Other people may be able to sway our opinions, but that’s only if we let them.

I hope this helped; I definitely jumped up on my soapbox regarding that last point! If there’s anything you don’t agree with, or would like to discuss further, let me know! ❤️

#Sam’s soapbox #asks #my asks #media discourse #marvel

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