#like idk if it's intentional but it just gives off the impression that people are making excuses. like lewis is some kind of unreachable

[roscoehamiltons]

i've been seeing people say "not everyone can be lewis" in response to what the drivers have been saying in the press conference and media, and what i don't understand is: why not? what's stopping them from speaking about different issues? why is it that lewis is expected and able to be well spoken about various issues in the paddock yet suddenly when it comes to other drivers it's 'oh well he's not lewis so that's the best they can do 🤷🏻‍♀️'

[chrissv4mp]

- I COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE —

chap 2 , love, chris — | — ...back — | — next...

summary: chris hangs around the plaza for a while, sneaking around the parking lot find your car and place a tracker on it. when you leave, chris knows this is all going according to plan, and you've fallen right into his trap.

pairing: stalker!chris sturniolo × singer!reader

warnings + topics: cursing, stalking, murder, weapons, blood, obsessive behavior, suggestive moments, breaking & entering, crying, arguments, chris is crazy, choking, drowning, first person, second person, etc. more than half of these topics are mentioned in later chapters.

author's note: hope u guys are enjoying this silly little story i made up in my head over the past few days. idk i just got a random boost of motivation & now here i am, writing about stalker!chris🤷‍♀️

author's note 2: yall are getting closer.......

word count: 3.5k

"i'm here around the clock,

i'm waiting on your block."

chris' eyes dart around the parking lot, leaning against his black bike that was still locked on a metal pole. his head turns downward, looking at the phone that sat on his shaky hand.

you haven't left yet. the red dot flashed over and over again, and suddenly, chris felt dizzy. stuffing his phone back into the pocket of his sweats, he leans against the pole, taking in the surrounding area.

multiple people were around, some girls making tiktoks by their cars and others chatting with some friends. his eyes didn't land on you until he looked back at the cafe you were at earlier.

your producers hand was on your wrist, dragging you behind him as he stomped his way to your car. chris almost laughed at how mad he was, it was like jamie had a crush on you.

chris' heart dropped, and now he felt sick. he hadn't seen jamie with you at the diner, but what if jamie did have a crush on you? a larger one than chris? what if you picked jamie over chris, your 'long-time' friend?

"this is what i'm talking about!" chris squinted his eyes, hearing only half of what the taller man was saying to you.

he wasn't allowed to speak to you like that, who does he think he is? chris couldn't stop the anger that washed over him for just a moment as he watched jamie continue to drag you.

there were gonna be marks left on your perfect skin, he needed to stop or else chris would something about it. and that's not exactly how he wanted to give off his second impression.

"jamie, would you just—hey! stop and talk to me for a second!" your voice is loud, almost yelling out into the open parking lot.

some people turn their heads, curious as to what was going on, but others mind their business and continue with their day. chris leaves the metal, creeping behind a car near where you and your producer stood.

jamie huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at you expectantly, "what do we need to talk about? there's nothing to say, y/n."

you bring your hands up to your head, rubbing your temples with your fingers. you can't even look at the blond right now, he always got like this whenever he was mad. he always shut down completely.

"if you could shut your fucking mouth and listen, that would be great." you bit back, eyes darkening as you stare at the blond.

chris lets out a quiet laugh this time, amused by your sudden anger at the boy. finally, you were doing something about jamie. from what the brunette bad seen, jamie always pushed you past point of no return. he also controlled you, and chris hated that. chris hated him.

jamie only scoffed, his ears picking up a quiet sound as his head turned in the direction of where it was coming from. his head turned back towards you, and he waited.

"listen, jamie. i love you, i really do, but you can't go crazy every time some stranger looks at me for even a second. i have fans, and million of people around the world know my name, it's not unlikely that people would stare." you sigh, an exasperated smile on your face.

the blond just sighs, listening intently as you continue, "just let me live a little, sometimes. i don't need you to protect me 24/7, i can assure you i'll be okay." you say softly, stepping to him as you look into his eyes.

chris feels another pang of jealousy in his heart, and he cringes at the way jamie stares down at you. his green, lovey eyes just make chris want to puke, that's supposed to be him!

"okay," the blond finally says, biting the inside of his cheek, "let's just get you home, alright? we'll talk about work over zoom tomorrow morning."

you smile widely, and chris blushes at your perfect teeth. why did you make him feel this way? why were you the only person who made him feel this way? it seemed like no other girl could compare to you.

he watched as you walked to your car, hand on jamie's shoulder. something fell from your pocket as you turned, and chris squinted his eyes in an effort to see it clearer.

it was a heart pendant, one that he saw regularly as he scrolled through your social media accounts every night. your dad gave it to you when were younger, and then he died in a car accident.

he remembers you writing about it in your captions, writing about how special it was and how much it was worth to you. there was even a song that you wrote about your dad, one of the lines mentioning the special pendant.

the brunette looks around, making sure you're in your car before running to grab the piece of jewelry and stuffing it into the pocket of his sweatpants.

chris scurries back to his bike, unlocking it from the pole as he keeps his eyes on your black suv. the growling sound of the engine starting almost made him flinch, and he quickly jumped on his bike as you pulled out of your parking space.

he didn't care to keep his distance, either, a mistake he made in the past that got him caught. but, bikers are always close to cars. he thinks. chris is still wearing the same black fresh love hoodie from earlier, not thinking to take it off before he began to peddle.

it was another awful mistake, but the car was higher up, and you couldn't see him in your mirrors. and plus, he needed something to cover his face or you would know it was him. he wasn't gonna take that chance.

the brunette thought carefully about his plan before he suggested that him and his brothers come to the plaza. he knew, by your recent instagram post, that you were here, and that's what got the plan started.

he didn't miss a beat, mapping it out and writing notes in a small notepad he kept hidden under his bed in that black box. he also wrote some letters, declaring his love to you but not actually signing it. every time he wrote the letters, he just signed, "love, c. :)" with the creepy smiley emoji.

there were millions of guys and girls who's names started with the letter c, so he wasn't worried when he actually started sending the letters a few months back, just before his 20th birthday. chris remembers writing about how much your music saved him and how he loved you a lot, just pouring all of his feelings out onto that sheet of paper.

he wasn't sure you got it until you had posted the note on your instagram story a week after his birthday, simply just typing a red heart emoji. that only added fuel to the fire, his obsession becoming stronger over the course of those few months, and now here he was, following you around on his bike.

"but please don't call the cops,

they'll make me stop,

and i just want to talk."

your car beeped as you pressed your keys, locking the doors before making your way down the sidewalk and up the porch stairs. you typed in the code, and you couldn't stop yourself from looking around.

there was a strange feeling in your gut that you couldn't shake, and it almost felt like someone was watching you. but nobody was. you couldn't see anybody.

looking back at the door, you opened it, quickly pushing yourself in and shutting the door. you didn't forget to lock it before going over to your curtains to close them. jamie had you on edge, filling your mind with the delusion that you had a stalker, and it was getting to you. slowly.

there was a large chance that someone was following you, stalking you. it happened to almost every celebrity, but it was never the same and somehow it always seemed to shock you how many different stalker stories people had.

your eyes move from the closed curtains to the pile of letters stacked on your coffee table. a shiver ran down your spine as you walked over, sitting down on the couch as you stared nervously at the pile in front of you.

your mail always consisted of fan letters, invitations to parties, and letters from your management and pr team, and you were always surprised when you read them. surprised was an understatement, actually. if you had to use a word to really describe it, you would pick terrified.

you were always terrified when you read letters that your fans had sent you. sure, some were nice and very kind, but once you got to the bottom of the pile, they got darker. some guy even sent you a strand of his hair, the words on the letter being written in dark red.. pen?

there were splatters of the ink all over the crumpled piece of paper, and you recount throwing up a lot that night. it wasn't pen, but you wouldn't have found that out if you didn't read the p.s. at the bottom.

you knew that should've been the first sign of a stalker, but you were younger back then and didn't really think about things like that. you were a dumb teenager living life, and you wouldn't blame yourself even now.

the doorbell rang, and you jumped at the sudden noise. you quickly got to your feet, glad that you wouldn't have to deal with your mail right now, but as you approached the door, that gut feeling came back.

there was a tall, dark silhouette standing on the other side of the wooden door. the figure was blurred due to the frosted windows on either side of the entrance. you continued walking, though, hands clenching into fists incase you needed to hit the person.

the person knocked, creating a catchy pattern before retracting their hand and waiting patiently. you finally reached the door, ready to punch the person as you opened the door.

when you looked up at the person, your face softened and you became less tense. your shoulders relaxed and so did your hands as you recognized the boy.

"hi," chris smiled warmly, toying with the hem of his beige t-shirt, "sorry to come in so suddenly."

you chuckled softly, eyes traveling down his body and catching sight of his black fresh love sweats. there was a small feeling of suspicion lingering in your mind, but you ignored it. chris would never stalk you. right?

"it's okay, i wasn't really doing anything. i just got home, actually." chris nodded, and before you could speak again, he pulled something out of his pocket and held it out in front of your face.

"i suppose this belongs to you?" he asks playfully, a sly smirk on his face as he dangles the pendant between the space of your two faces.

your eyes light up at the sight of the white, heart-shaped pendant hanging in front of your face, and you hold your hands out for chris to drop it there, "oh my gosh... chris—i... where did you find this?"

chris freezes. he didn't think about an explanation before walking up to your doorstep and knocking, "oh, uhm. well, i was just walking trevor and something caught his eye. it was on the sidewalk near that plaza a few blocks away. i let trev go home with my brothers and ran here."

"i thought it looked familiar, so i went on instagram, and what do you know? the first thing that pops up is a picture of you wearing it." his explanation doesn't sound fake, and chris himself would've believed it if he wasn't the one who spoke the words. this was a bad second impression, lying right to your face. he felt shitty now, and he couldn't shake the guilt.

"thank you, chris. seriously you don't know how much this means to me." you say again. you could thank him a million times and still feel like it wasn't enough.

the brunette boy just hums in response, a smile on his face as he stares at your beautiful e/c eyes. he always seems to get lost in them, even through the screen of his phone as he watches your interviews.

you move aside, beckoning chris to come in, "come in?"

chris bites his lip, eyes moving to look to his left. he left his bike lying in some bushes a few houses away, and his hoodie was also there, "i don't know.."

"oh, come on. i have pepsi." you smile, giggling as his eyes move in your direction again. he shrugs, a smile forming on his face as he steps through the door.

when chris enters your house, his eyes dart around the place. the things placed around show him a part of your personality, and he actually feels like he's getting somewhere this time. he's making progress with your relationship.

"take a seat, i'll get you a drink." you smile, catching a glimpse of his own as you pass by him and walk into the kitchen.

the first thing you do is open the fridge, looking around before grabbing two cans of the drink chris loves the most. as you walk back into the living room, he's waiting there on the couch.

his eyes are on your mail, entertained by the small stamps on the corners of the postcards. he got easily distracted, you knew that. maybe you watched too many videos of his and paid attention to him too much.

"here," you broke the silence, your voice gentle as you took a seat next to the boy, "your favorite."

chris chuckled, his cheeks heating up as he looked over at you. your lips were such a perfect shape, and they looked so soft. he just wished he could feel them on his someday, "thanks."

your mind begins to wander as chris opens the can, the cracking sound going unnoticed as you replayed the interaction with him just a few moments ago. you never told him your address, and it sure as hell wasn't on the internet, so... how did he know where you lived? you only just met the guy a few nights ago, and you can barely even remember anything you said to him at the diner.

"hey, how'd you find out where i live?" your voice was laced with suspicion yet again, and chris almost choked on the liquid he was about to swallow.

he covers it up with a cough, placing the can down onto the coffee table before turning to look at you, "i was just walking forward, honestly, going wherever my feet took me. then, when i turned the corner i saw you walking through the door."

chris knows it's not very believable, but it's not like he has any other normal explanation. okay, but seriously... wherever his feet took him?

the brunette just wanted to leave at this point, already so close to fumbling his plan and blowing his cover. he just hoped you would take the lame excuse.

there's still a look of confusion on your face, but it's subtle, almost like you really believe him. chris would frown if you weren't looking, were you really that gullible? anybody could take advantage of you at any time, and chris didn't like that.

your eyes scanned over the papers on your table again, and chris noticed you staring longer at one in particular. it was in a black envelope. it was in chris' black envelope.

"you're scared to open it." he thinks out loud, eyes drifting off and meeting your own nervous ones, "it's okay to be afraid, y/n, but you just have to face things in life to get over them."

chris won't forget the way you look at him in awe, a small smile on your face at his gentle, reassuring words. the brunette smiles right back at you, nodding his head toward the letter for you to grab it.

and you do just that, reaching out to grab the envelope and carefully opening it. you're slow with your movements, carefully peeling the flap off to make sure you don't rip it. the brunette learns something new about you every minute. literally every minute.

after you peel the paper fully off, you grab the card from inside of it and move the envelope out of the way.

chris doesn't lean over your shoulder, and you feel safe knowing that he respects your privacy. it just goes to show that his personality isn't an act for the camera.

"what's it say?" he finally speaks, and as you look over at him, he adds, "if you're comfortable telling me."

chris already knows. he only asked the question to find your thoughts about it, and how you would react to the words written.

your eyes go back to the letter, skimming over the words written in black pen. there's doodles all over the page, just as all the other ones sent from this anonymous person, c.

dear, y/n,

i saw your interview today, and you looked as beautiful as always. i loved the part where you spoke about the deeper meanings of the songs on your new album, it really gave me more of an understanding and made me feel more connected with the songs.

i feel like we're one in the same, you know? we have a lot in common, actually. if you didn't know, i'm also big in social media, so there's a hint on my actual identity. but enough about me, i just wanted to write to you again. you're the only person who truly understands me and i can't shake the feeling that we'd be perfect together.

there's a SUPER small chance of that happening, but a guy can dream. also, i hope u like my little doodles on these letters, i draw them while listening to your songs, and they're like little references to the titles! i just thought that was super cool (like u cause ur the coolest person ever like wtf??)

but yeah! i just wanted to pop in and tell u that you looked stunning in the interview and also that you're amazing. don't forget that. you are perfect in every way, shape, and form. yes, i'd still love u if u were a bug.

love, c. :)

— (p.s. i wrote this at like 2am but drew the pictures beforehand. like weeks beforehand.)

you smiled softly, blush creeping on your face as you giggled at the last sentence. you didn't even know the guy and he was already flirting with you. and you were falling for him!

"it's a letter from a few days ago, when i was on the late night show with jimmy kimmel. this guy is just complimenting me and saying he feels an even deeper connection with my songs now that i explained some of the meanings." you explain, head turning to look at chris as you let your hands fall into your lap.

chris nods, humming as his blue eyes meet yours again. he never missed a chance to make eye contact with you because it was only for a small amount of time, and it wasn't everyday that your eyes were on his. it was everyday that his eyes were on you, and yours were on someone else.

"there's a monkey," you smile, running your fingers across the oddly smooth piece of paper. chris would never consider himself an artist, but, hey, he did an amazing job drawing that cartoon monkey.

the brunette giggles along with you, leaning closer to your body and almost touching shoulders. this was probably the closest you've been ever since that picture you took together.

"monkeys are my favorite. i had a bunch of stuffed ones whenever i was younger, thrn our house burnt down, so." chris frowns as the memory of the house fire comes back to him, and you feel a rush of sympathy for the boy.

you reach a hand out to rest on his shoulder, rubbing it in an effort to comfort him, "i'm sorry chris. no one should have to experience that."

he only smiles at you, the look of sadness completely gone now. he can't let himself be vulnerable to you just yet. he has to wait until you're his, and he hates it.

"it's okay. that was such a long time ago, i shouldn't even be thinking about it anymore." he sighs, his smile growing even wider as he finally realizes that your hand is placed on his shoulder.

you tilt your head at the boy, a small frown still on your face. chris mirrors your expression, tilting his head in the same direction, "don't give me that look, it's like you're a sad dog. c'mon, you're gonna make me sad."

your lips curve into a smile at his words, shoving him softly at his playful tone, "okay, don't ever call me a sad dog again."

chris giggles, his cheeks heating up again as he stares at your beautiful face, "but dogs are cute, i love 'em."

blush creeps onto your face, and chris' eyes widen for only a second as he realizes what he just said.

"thanks." you tease, and chris hides his face in his hands out of embarrassment.

comment to be added to the taglist!

@livialifesblog @zayyluvz @1800-love-me @snowysosturn @mirioosos

@ladyy-whistle-d0wn @ginswife @spideylovin @dej4vhs @strnlxlqve

@joemamaaa42069 @fratbrochrisgf @slut4chriss @h3arts4harry @str4wberryk1ss3s

@riasturns @yurpppppy @nwlluvsturnsstars17 @asimp4chris @byneptunee

@ilove2021chris @freshloveforthefit @sturniologals @ifwdominicfike @sturnsdoll

@3lizaluvs @matt444nixi @nikki-starx @notmylaa11 @jetaimevous

@fionaheartswomen @sturni0l0 @sturniolofannn @sturniolofannnlmao @demzzz

@n3-vaeh @melanch0lybby

[staranghae]

better than the movies

summary. a new love blossoms between two people who could not be more different from each other. and no seungkwan, it is not because of your self-proclaimed 'stellar cupid skills', shut up!

pairing. cinephile! c.hs x bookworm! reader wc. 1.1k warnings. profanity, agggtm and its two sequels are movies in this. genre. crack, fluff, non-idol! au, intentional lowercase. a/n. this was requested by one of my very lovely moots and was a blast to write. @nonononranghaee hope you like it 🤍

you were browsing through the shelves of your local library looking for the sequel of the novel you had finished that afternoon.

you were growing increasingly desperate as you browsed shelf after shelf of the literature section but to no avail.

tired and miserable, you dragged yourself over to the librarian and asked her about the book,

"hello, do you have a copy of 'good girl, bad blood' by holly jackson?"

the librarian glances at you before going to her computer and looking through the library's online database. she turns to you with an apologetic smile before informing you the tragic news,

"i'm so sorry darling but someone checked it out just this morning."

your face visibly falls at her statement. the librarian, feeling a bit sorry for you, asks,

"i can put it on hold for you when it gets back if you'd like?"

you give her a somber smile before nodding your head.

you turn to leave but recall an incident that had taken place a few weeks ago at your place.

"seungkwan i swear to every god in the universe, if you don't give my book back i will suffocate you in your sleep, you sneaky little bitch!" you yell, chasing your best friend around your apartment as he maneuvers around your furniture, waving your book in the air.

he finally stops, standing on your futon while holding the book above his head and out of your reach.

"y/n listen. the deal is simple. agree to go on a blind date and i'll give you the book back. easy, right?"

you look at him incredulously before climbing on the futon and kicking him in the shin. not too hard, just enough so his knees would buckle. he immediately drops your book in favour of inspecting his now injured shin.

"this is what happens when you play with fire kwan. now i have a book to finish so get out!"

he mumbles something about 'stealing the sequel' before slamming your door shut on his way out.

you turn on your heel and go back to the librarian's desk. mustering up your courage, you ask her,

"may i know who checked it out? in case it's someone i know?"

she looks at you, a little confused, before turning to her computer. a few seconds later, she reads off of the screen,

"it seems a person by the name of 'boo seungkwan' has borrowed this book."

you chuckle under your breath, thank her, and storm out of the library furiously typing on your phone.

y/nie boo seungkwan!! when i fucking get you, its soo over for u. kwangerine y/n! what's got you like this at....2:13pm? y/nie idk kwan :| maybe it's the fact that you checked out the sequel to my book from the library:/ kwangerine ah so you found out :D welp, if you want it, come to heaven's cloud at 5:30 hehehe y/nie gremlin ass kwangerine :P

you sigh for what seems to be the millionth time today.

as you start walking towards your apartment, you make a mental note of everything you have to do today.

first, you have to pick up the laundry on the way to your apartment.

then, you have to go to heaven's cloud to murder seungkwan get your book back.

once back in your apartment, you decide to change before heading out to heaven's cloud. it wouldn't a very nice impression of you to go to your best friend's cafe clad in a concert tee and sweatpants.

you change into a dress and put on some light makeup before heading out.

the smell of coffee and vanilla envelops you as soon as you step into heaven's cloud cafe. you look around for seungkwan, but don't spot him.

but you DO spot his roommate, sitting in seungkwan's favourite spot holding your book, looking a bit...nervous?

you walk up to him and stand in front of him. when he doesn't notice you, you call him,

"vernon? did seungkwan send you?"

"y/n? you look...nice."

"thanks? you still haven't answered my question?"

he laughs a bit before gesturing for you to sit down. you sit in front of him as he starts to talk,

"so what happened is, i was watching the 'a good girl's guide to murder' movie right? seungkwan came in mumbling something about you being to engrossed in books to even have a social life."

you just roll your eyes at the perfect description of your best friend before telling him to continue.

"and then he looks at me and starts going off about how we're exactly like each other but also exact opposites."

"as in? what does that mean?"

"as in i wouldn't read a book to save my life and according to him, you would only watch a movie over your dead body. and-"

you interrupt him, knowing exactly where he was going with this.

"-and also. i'm a huge bookworm and you're a...movie connoisseur?"

he chuckles before answering you,

"well, the term is cinephile but yeah. a movie connoisseur of sorts."

"yeah whatever. and seungkwan thought it would be good idea to pull whatever he pulled and make this a date. am i right?"

he freezes up a bit before nodding slowly. you, on the other hand, did not know what to feel. had seungkwan done this because of how many times you had gushed to him whenever there was a opposites attract trope in your cheesy little romance novels, or had he finally figured out your yearlong crush on his extremely attractive roommate?

it is only after you finally look at vernon do you realise he had asked you a question. you smile sheepishly while asking him to repeat the question because you hadn't been paying attention.

he merely chuckles before repeating his question,

"were you not aware this was a date? because seungkwan told me you knew."

"nope. didn't have a clue."

"ah. you can leave if you want, i don't really mind."

you feel a pang of disappointment in your chest at his statement. you take a deep breath and work up the courage to ask him the one question you've been meaning to ask him for the past year.

"vernon. do you, perhaps, like me? like, romantically?'

vernon all but spits out his drink at your sudden question (or was it a confession?)

he regains his composure before answering you,

"yeah! i mean, yes uhm, i have liked you, for like, uhh a year at this point i think."

you audibly laugh at his stuttering and ask him the million dollar question.

"do you want this date to go on?"

sure, but only if we can go back to my place so i can tell you why the movie is better than the book."

"that is, quite literally, impossible but sure, also only if i can tell you, factually, that the book is always, and i mean always, better than the movies."

the two of you laugh at your statement and continue with the date. a few tables behind you guys, there was a very pleased human cupid sipping on his iced americano, eavesdropping on your guys' conversation every so often.

[awsugar]

speaking of questions that exercise very mcr specific muscles in your brain. i was perusing mychem tumblr the other day and came across a masterpost about the SS/mayo blog frerard lore (i’m aware frerard is not PC these days thanks obama). i’ve been a dedicated fan for over a decade now and my brain is an mcr lore bank but i had literally never heard of this. do you know about it and if you do what are your thoughts

omg yea. ss/mayo is crazy. and unfortunately a lot of it has been lost to time and its not even saved on wayback. theres some stuff thats convincing, theres some stuff thats not.

so like lets preface this by saying that the ft willz myspace? confirmed to be frank. and obviously the stuff posted on skeleton crew, those screenshots of ft willz works that look like theyre on burnt paper? yea so those are confirmed and those are real fully frank no questions.

i personally am a skeptic of other accounts that claim to be ft willz. like the tumblr? i do not think thats frank. and i think that came at a time when people had already really speculated or figured out that ft willz WAS frank. so like i think the tumblr is honestly just someone who was pretending to be frank and managed to sort of emulate his style but yea i don't think it's him. i think the reason some of the stuff hits so hard in a frerard sense is because that was intentional by the person writing it. you know.

anyway ss and mayo. there were two blogs on blogspot started in 2007 i believe that fans thought were frank and gerard. well it started with mayo (its-mayonaise.blogspot.com). that blog is still up and so are a lot of the posts but i think a lot of them have been deleted as well, and not saved anywhere on wayback. im sure theyre on someones hard drive out there but i haven't seen them. then a blog appeared called iamthemodernprometheus.blogspot.com. some of those posts are still up but most are gone. that was ss/sss/shitsubou shita/frank (allegedly). ss started interacting in the comments on mayo's blog. and i think i may have read some mayo blog posts back in the day but i haven't been able to find them to answer this one. i just remember when i joined the fandom most people thought it was gerard.

now here's a couple things of evidence. THIS is a blogspot comment thread where people who have saved some of ss' blog posts put them in the comments. and yes obviously it could be an elaborate hoax by two fans who were invested in frerard. but like these things were being posted as it HAPPENED. you know? idk i wasnt there in 2007. but 2007 was when the fanfic took off and we really informed a lot of our perception of what happened with frerard on things like ft willz/stuff that happened on stage/and a lot of these posts really fit into the timeline. i would recommend reading that because its kind of hard to believe its like. a teenager pretending to be frank. it really just SOUNDS like frank. and he's really writing blog posts. basically to gerard lol. it gives the impression that they were on tour together (projekt rev) and doing the Thing but like there was def tension going on behind the scenes and we already know that thats true. frank didn't like eliza and thought gerard was moving too fast, the imnotokay.net post came from someone in mcr's camp that ppl thought was frank (or maybe brian) and then tbh its happening again?? just months later? it makes complete sense that if frank thought gerard was moving too fast with eliza that he DEFINITELY thought he was moving too fast with lynz getting MARRIED to her backstage just a couple months? after breaking off his engagement with eliza. anyway just read the comments. its very easy to believe its frank.

and then the other peice of evidece i found in this reddit thread: x comment in particular by u/ReallyKapu. they say that they have always gone by Kapunua online and that they met frank at a lm show, gave him a hat with the inscription 'sss' inside and later on he thanked them for it on the blog.

sure enough:

from what i've read it seems like the blog was actually a community. there were people who followed it and made friends in the comment section. and it does seem implausible but it looks to me like frank saved all of his gifts from tour and then made this post specifically thanking people for them. the person who claims this is them also says that they don't think mayo is actually gerard but that frank thought it was.

and i've seen stuff saying that if it wasn't gerard it was probably someone close to the band because they had like information that was posted on the blog that wouldn't come readily available (or make sense) until the show the next day.

anyway, i wasn't there for this. i was on the forums and twitter and tumblr for a LOT of mcr history but this was a little before my time and i think if i had been there OR if the blogs had actually been preserved in some way that i might be able to form a better opinion. i think theres a lot of evidence for frank, not sure about gerard. but i won't claim that it's true either bc we really don't know and this one i don't think we ever will!

[crooked-wasteland]

I’m weirdly torn about Lite’s character arc.

On one hand, feminine rage (yes please), she’s the only one who understands Hell can BE A THREAT (sure, Charlie and Pentious are nice and all, but there are other people in Hell who are probably not well intentioned), she’s rightfully pissed that her role as second in command was overlooked for some (admittedly sweet) guy who doesn’t even wanna be here, and she’s rightfully upset that her sisters and best friend/man she loved were murdered in a job that she was authorized to do by the supposed good guys. She shouldn’t be seen as the bad guy for being convinced by others that what she was doing was right, and is upset when she’s told all her work, her allies, and Adam being killed meant nothing.

On the other hand, she’s being depicted as the bad guy. I’m not saying she needs to be sympathetic, 100% likable, uwu babey. But her pain and issues are being brushed aside to make her appear like the stereotypical “crazy bitch” who will probably be the villain of the season, or at least A villain. Not the antagonist, the VILLAIN. Her grief and valid opposition is more than likely going to be villainized, when in reality, she may be cold and sadistic, but I don’t this Lute is ultimately a bad person. She spent her existence fighting for what she was told is right by a holy figure. Not some cultist or priest who says God talks to them, but THE ACTUAL HIGH SERAPH. She was convinced angels don’t make mistakes, to the point she never questioned that in all her cruelty, if she was right or wrong. She believed she was right. If this were on Earth, on could compare this to crusaders or people who force conversions or kill anyone who doesn’t agree with their beliefs. But I don’t think that can really apply, because Lite isn’t human, she lives in HEAVAN. Religious asshole humans aren’t comparable to ANGELS who are familiar with THE SPEAKER FOR GOD HIMSELF. So her genuine belief she is doing good is understandable, but will probably be what makes her villainized. Or maybe it will be the fact she’s in mourning? Who knows! Viv will never skimp on presenting a woman as a villain for the flimsiest of reasons.

And on the other other hand. Yes, it suck a huge part of her motivation is her connection to a MAN (the first man, no less) who is a douchebag. But idk if that’s that big of an issue. For all her being sad her boss/love interest/a dude died, there’s also her being angry that her position as leader was passed over for some guy as well. I’m not saying it evens out, but maybe it does? Not to mention that even though Adam was a dick, he was more than just a man/asshole/boss/probably misogynist, he was also her friend, someone she looked up to as a leader, and still was comfortable enough to hang out with when not on the job. He called he names, but that might’ve been out of familiarity rather than genuine malice or sexism. Then again, Viv never really let us learn Jack shit about Adam as a person, other than CHARLIE GOOD, ADAM BAD. So while it is kind of iffy from one perspective for Lute’s arc to be connected to Adam, I don’t think it’s an issue of gender, and more of the fact that she meant something to him.

Sorry for the long ask, but what’re your thoughts?

I agree with pretty much all of this. I think she is an extremely compelling character and I think her deeper character reasons for being a real villain are solid. I even think the song itself is genuinely good at showing that Lite isn't only raging about some guy. The actual meat of her character is really well balanced on paper, and the song does a decent job of depicting that ...

Until it gets to Adam.

The issue is the poor pacing of the writers and how we never got to see Lute and Adam as much. Lute is extremely formal in most of the scenes in the early part of Hazbin. Calling Adam "sir" doesn't give the impression of "best friends", so she does come off as oddly obsessed, especially with the rushed "crazy bitch" routine as you pointed out. We don't actually have a strong foundation for their relationship. Additionally, the revival of Adam as a figment of Lute's imagination as she falls into some form of psychosis is just rather silly. I understand it's to give Lute someone to talk to, but it makes Adam as a love interest is the most important characterization.

I do completely agree with your points on Lute's character. She has excellent motivation, and a clear arc that I also think is worth the effort. It just suffers from weak world building and lazy shortcuts.

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 3

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Gif creds to @bestintheparsec

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.5K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

Sorry this took so long. Work :( But I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. :) Thanks for reading!

-Pedro's POV-

The warmth of the midday sun beamed through the window as Pedro glanced nervously at his watch. 12:55PM. Finally, he grabbed his laptop and lay down on his couch with a soft *flump*. He quickly typed in "The Jazz and AllyKat show" into the search engine and opened up the website for your interview, just in time for it to begin broadcasting live. He knew you wouldn't be visible, but he would be lying if he said he hadn't been waiting anxiously since they announced it two days ago.

He was interested in hearing more about you. Hearing your voice speaking instead of just singing. Hearing the passion and levels of expression you may portray. Do you have an accent? A high or low voice? A lisp or a stutter? A rasp? You were such a mystery to him and the world, yet your shared conversation over Instagram the other day was so heartfelt. He appreciated your candor and vulnerability, especially in show business.

He couldn't figure out why… but ever since he heard your song, he couldn't stop thinking about you. There was something about you that seemed to draw him in. He was impressed with your lyrics and swooned at your voice. That voice! But with everyone contemplating who you were and who you liked, Pedro didn't want to be another one of those people, making you feel pressured. But he was certainly curious. 

The video began and he listened intently, not wanting to miss a single word. When your voice chirped a hello to the interviewers and listeners, his heart skipped a beat. He swore it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. He was drawn to you and wanted to learn anything he could, so he listened, trying to keep his breathing as silent as possible to not miss it. Why am I feeling like this? We've only had one conversation. Why am I so drawn to her, especially when she's already in love with someone?… he interrogated himself.

The interview discussed your favorite color, animals, and books, which Pedro vowed to read as soon as he could get to a bookstore. You listed off your favorite films and shows. However, although you had a great taste in cinema, he couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that none of his roles were on your list. Clearly it's not you she loves, so you can put that out of your head now. He should feel relief, but instead he feels hollow at that realization.

When asked who your best friend is, you gush about your guy bff. You talk about how much you love him. How cute and sweet he is. Pedro can't help but feel a bit jealous of this guy who you love so much. But he listens on, his heart perking up and bubbling over when he hears you finally explain that your best friend is your dog.

Not only does she have a dog, but he's her best friend. And the way she talks about him is so…adorable, he thinks, gushing over your shared love of the fuzzy animals. He wonders what your dog's name and breed is, but you refuse to answer that question from the interviewers, for fear that someone may recognize his name and breed, tying him to you. The interviewers make a joke on your paranoia, which you ignore and Pedro scoffs at, their lack of understanding poking a protective instinct inside of him.

The conversation suddenly rolls into celebrity crushes and his chest tightens. But before they can ask you, he hears the air horn signaling the amount of viewers. Although he's disappointed to miss the potential answer you may have given, he also feels that strange protective feeling over you again, making him feel annoyed at the interviewers, knowing your desire for privacy. His thoughts only shift into a possessive manner for a millisecond before Ally proposes the possibility of your crush potentially listening to the show. His heart and emotions are on a bumpy roller coaster and he's practically jittery at the anticipation. He's leaning in to hear your answer when the door to his house barges open and a frustrated Oscar Isaac walks in, complaining in Spanish.

Startled, Pedro slams his laptop closed and flings it towards the coffee table, nearly spilling his drink. He yells questioningly, wondering why his best friend is barging into his home unannounced. Oscar is fully in the living room now, hands on his hips and ready to rant again. But before he has a chance to continue his argument with Pedro, he squints. His eyes look to the laptop, then to Pedro, now standing and looking frazzled after jolting up from the seat. He looks at Pedro's face again, eyebrow raised questioningly, and points to the laptop. "Were you watching porn?"

Pedro is dumbfounded, and if he wasn't on such high alert, he would've thought to lie and say he was watching porn. Instead he blurts "NO, I was not watching porn." It sounded like a lie. Oscar looks again from the laptop to Pedro, noticing his flushed cheeks and giving him a once over from head to toe, looking for any tells, other than the blush and the panic. "Yeah right, you slut. Let's see then."

Oscar reaches for the laptop, and Pedro grasps for it too, just a second behind. Too slow. Pedro argues "I wasn't. Not that it should matter, seeing as I'm in my own HOME… alone. Or should I say previously alone." Pedro throws his hands up in frustration. Oscar just laughs. "Okay let's see what you're so interested in then, that you don't even hear me knocking on your door or trying to contact you." He cracks open the computer.

"You're watching…an interview?" Oscar looks at Pedro, confused at why he would be so wigged out over a talk show. "I told you," Pedro replies, pointedly. Oscar glances back at the computer again, his brow suddenly relaxing and his lips turning into a mischievous smirk. "Ohh. I see… This is that girl you defended in your interview, huh? Someone got a little crush?" 

Pedro rolled his eyes and scoffed, trying to push away the warmth grazing his cheeks. "No. I don't have a crush. I was just looking for something to do and saw it pop up on my page…" Pedro rambled on, "plus it's just curious how much she's keeping a secret, you know? Everyone is wondering about these things." Oscar listened, amused, and Pedro continued. Please stop talking, Pedro thought to himself. "Plus I don't even know her. A crush? That's ridiculous."

"She doesn't know that guy in her song either and she managed a crush… and you defended it," Oscar said matter-of-factly. Pedro rolled his eyes, and Oscar continued. "Are you hoping her crush is on you?" 

Pedro sputtered out a quick answer. "Please. She sounds young... it's probably on someone like Harry Styles. Why would she have interest in an old man like me?" Oscar patted Pedro's shoulder. "You're too hard on yourself." Pedro ignored him and continued, "plus you know how I feel about relationships." 

"Yeah yeah…" Oscar continued in a mocking tone, hand pretending to be a sock puppet while he recited, "I don't have the time to properly grow a relationship, I don't want to get hurt, I'm focusing on my career…" Pedro ignored his mocking tone and simply agreed with the recitation. "Yes… now… Why did you feel the need to barge in here unexpectedly?"

"It wouldn't have been unexpected had you checked your messages. I texted you four times and even messaged your Instagram when I didn't get a reply," Oscar defended. 

"You know I'm not a texter," Pedro disputes.

"Yeah, no shit, abuelito. How many messages are unread on your phone? 600?" Oscar banters.

Pedro hastily defended himself. "No! I call them back! And abuelito!? Really?" He tuts. "You're not far behind me, pendejo. Plus you know I never check my Instagram messages either. I hardly even log on. You should've called me instead."

"I did. Twice. Anyway, I wanted to see if you were still available to watch the kids later. Buuuut, after not hearing back, I just decided to check on you. Glad to see you're alive, and clearly just distracted." Oscar wiggles his eyebrows.

Pedro crosses his arms, ignoring Oscar's last remark. "Yes, of course I'll watch the kids. Go enjoy yourselves!"

"Thanks P. You're the best… and I know I'm picking on you, but I just want you to be happy. I think if you like this girl you should try and talk to her. Dust off the cobwebs of your Instagram and actually message her or something."

I already have… Pedro thinks, running his thumb across his bottom lip. "Thanks, man."

Oscar left with a friendly pat on Pedro's shoulder. "See you later tonight then with the kids!"

Upon closing the door, Pedro sped over to his laptop again, hopeful that your interview hadn't ended yet. Fortunately for him, it was still recording. He hoped he hadn't missed anything.

The interviewer named Ally spoke. "Nice try. You know who we're trying to find out about. Has he, the man of your dreams and star of your lyrics, contacted you at all? Will we see a romance blooming?"

Pedro's heart pounded so loud he feared he would miss your answer. If she says yes… his mind entertains, not knowing the answer to the rest of that thought.

You spoke, hesitantly, and he felt the protective urge creep over him again. He wanted to know the answer but he hated hearing you uncomfortable . "I uh… I have received a lot of messages, some of them from celebrities."

He swallowed hard, his breath catching in his throat.

The interviewers replied excitedly. "Yeeeeaaaah?????"

There's a long pause. The silence is deafening, apart from the booming timpani of Pedro's heartbeat.

You answered, so softly he almost missed it. "Yes. We've talked."

He stopped breathing. 

"Did you tell him it was him? Did you admit you love him?"

"Absolutely not. It was just a nice conversation," you laughed.

We had a nice conversation…

"Will you tell us who he is? At least a description? An initial?" Jazzy asked, desperate for answers.

Ally chimed in "anything! We're starving here."

You giggled before answering. The most beautiful laugh he's ever heard. "I won't do that much, but I will say… he has brown curly hair... Gorgeous brown eyes… And he seems really funny and nice."

I have curly brown hair and brown eyes.. maybe it could be me, his heart offered the idea. I try my best to be funny and nice too.

It could also be Tom Holland. Or Dylan O'Brien. Or some other young actor, his self-doubt chimes in. But he also knew based on your eye color descriptor, that it wasn't Harry Styles, shutting down his earlier guess.

Ally lets out a huff. "That's a pretty broad answer but I guess it narrows out a few people.."

"Well we have another surprise. A way to narrow it down a little more…" Jazz proposes.

"Oh? What's that?" You replied. Pedro could hear the nervousness in your tone.

Jazz continued "I asked our tech to work his magic, and he managed to pull a list of our viewers during the highest number of people tuning in…"

Pedro's heart picked up speed.

"Then, since he's so good at working a computer, he was able to filter it further, running the names through the web and pulling out any celebrities. We have a list here and all you have to do is read through and say if he's on the list of viewers. The only ones who would know are the three of us. Of course if he's watching, he will also know if he's in the running or not."

You stuttered out, "o-okay.."

There was a long pause on your end while you read, and Jazz and Ally filled in the space with chatter.

Pedro sat, waiting nervously for your answer.

"Uhm… no. None of these names.." you finally answered.

His heart sank. It wasn't him. You didn't love him.

"That's disappointing," Ally answered. "I had really hoped he was listening. I'm sorry. I thought when we filtered through the viewers with our celebrity listener filter, we'd have some luck."

"It's okay.. he's probably busy or something.." you answered, though your disappointment was hard to hide. "Maybe he will listen later when he has time."

Pedro was logged in on his account. His name would've been on that list, and you just confirmed, without calling him out personally, that he wasn't the one you loved.

The interview soon ended and he closed his laptop with a sigh, flopping back onto his couch. He had hoped to message you and tell you he watched the video. But now he didn't see the point in it. You already knew he watched it, and you probably didn't care. He closed his eyes and eventually decided to try and ignore his feelings. You don't even know her. Don't be stupid. It's just a crush.. a stupid, hopeless crush..

Looking out the window, Pedro noticed the sun setting outside and glanced at the clock on his stove. Realizing Oscar would be back soon with the kids, he decided he needed to snap out of it. Put on a happy face before babysitting duty. He began straightening up the house and getting things ready before finally turning on a cartoon movie just in time for them to arrive. 

Oscar greeted him, and sat the kids in front of the movie. He knew his friend well enough to see through his smile and know he was upset about something. But he also could tell Pedro needed some space to sort things out in his mind first before he was ready to talk. So he left the kids with a profuse thank you, and headed out the door, leaving Pedro alone with his thoughts and two small bundles of energy.

Unbeknownst to Pedro, you looked through the list of celebrity viewers, scanning for his name. But thanks to his friend's intrusion, at the time that they filtered the list, he was disconnected from the live video. He wasn't on the list you saw.

Kept busy with the kids, it wasn't until they were back home with their parents that Pedro was forced to think about his feelings. Maybe he would still message you either way. You probably needed more friends and allies in this business, and he did enjoy talking to you, even if he wasn't the one you loved. If you didn't want to form a friendship with him back, that was fine too. But he would try. Still, his disappointment was settling in his heart. He didn't realize how much he was starting to care about you until you said he wasn't on that list.

So with the shared belief that neither of you cared about one another, you both went to bed, you both felt heavy in your hearts, and you both couldn't help but feel light tears spilling onto your cheeks as sleep eventually took over.

Equally unknown to you, he was watching, and he planned to watch it again when the video was posted, just to hear you talk a little bit longer. Just to learn more about you. Learn the tiny personality quirks he could pick out from your voice. Things that make you who you are, until maybe he could meet you in person. 

That's all for this chapter!! Thank you again for reading and let me know what you think.

Looking for the next chapter? Here!

Taglist: (Let me know if you want in!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson

[luffyvace]

Katsuki Bakugo x Shoto twin reader

These are for my good friend irl :) ENJOY!!

btw this is written with fem! Reader in mind. Yes I will likely do a male reader version dw 💗 (i don’t think it’ll have shoto twin reader)

So bakugo in a relationship huh? Not the first thing I’d think he’s into but hey, it’s already happened now! 🤷‍♀️

About kats and todo’s beef tho….

at the beginning I mean

katsuki isn’t the type of person to lump people in with your siblings or wtv

buttttt if you and shoto are similar/have similar personalities or interests he might somewhat dislike you at first

if not he doesn’t mind

but it’d especially tick him off if you and todo gang up on him in fights/arguments

but again he decides his opinion of you based off what you show him him or how you present yourself

which is why he didn’t remember most people’s names at the beginning of the show

bc he didn’t have anything to remember them by-

he may come up to you on some sunny callin you icy hot 2.0 n stuff but if you assert your dominance and show him you deserve respect then he lets go of that quickly

not out of fear but because katsuki doesn’t really pick on the people he respects

best jeanist is a great example of what I mean!

if your relation to todo is really similar however

he might find you a bit more annoying at first

he just thinks of you as the off brand version of todoroki until you give him a reason to respect you 😗

Although if your talking more mature kats when it’s like s4 around then he’s more likely to view you as your own person first time around

he also doesn’t do any of that crap anymore and doesn’t mind that you and todo are twins

he used to always mutter ‘your wretched brother’ this and that

but he cut that out

i mean unless you nipped it in the bun back then 🤪

and to do that you likely have to humble him

So after that phase is over nicknames can range from a shorter version of your name to aliases he/people have given you

like how shoto’s quirk is hot/cold so he calls him icy hot

But whatever he comes up with for you isn’t said with a bad intent by him, of course

And w/ cooking you already know his is FIRE 🔥🔥💥💥

like it’s canon this man can cook like 💃💃🕺👯‍♀️👯‍♀️

(that’s you dancing bc his food’s so good)

GET YOU A MAN LIKE KATSUKI. GET YOU A MAN THAT CAN COOK. 💥💥💥

he be using all types of seasoning so you KNOW it ain’t dry

especially if your a spicy food lover

like I feel he genuinely doesn’t get people who doesn’t like spicy food

he may think your a bit of a wimp..🤓

If you inherited endeavor’s fire quirk he finds it useful that you can lite his barbecues or make fire for cooking in the woods for example

he still heated that explosions don’t work 🤦‍♀️

but ngl he’d rather you than shoto sooo..🤷‍♀️

For love languages his is quality time, acts of service and a bit of gift giving

with quality time he likes to ice skate with you since (if you inherited the ice quirk) you can withstand the cold

He’d try to impress you by saying he’s not that cold (even with a coat on) but he actually is

why would he admit that tho

he’s actually cold don’t torture him by staying longer than you need to

(or do I ain’t gonna judge 😂)

kats likes challenges because it makes him feel accomplished once he completed them

So he likes to do freezer challenges!!

(basically it’s this challenge where you go into a walk in freezer and see who can last the longest—don’t try this at home I’ve only seen this on YouTube and idk if that’s the actual name)

and of course your immune to the cold so it’s easy for you

so if he beats you it’ll make him feel proud

don’t think that just bc your his girlfriend he doesn’t compete with you

there’s no way he’s seeing an opportunity to become the number 1 hero and not taking it to let his girlfriend be happy

don’t blame him who would……

when you first get into your relationship things might be a little awkward and you may or may not be a little intimidated by him

which if you are he feels sorta bad and he doesn’t want you to be

he doesn’t want people he cares about to think he’s some monster

if you were just come class b rubbish what does he care what you think?

but your his girlfriend and probably his first of course he cares what you think of him!

you likely address this early because he doesn’t like the feeling it gives him

so no worries :)

if you were never intimidated by him tho

its probably just awkward silence..

even more so if you were as aloof as todo was back in the first season

or if your just a quiet/socially awkward person

kats isn’t awkward he just doesn’t really know what to say either..

deeper in relationship tho!!

things are a lot less tense and more casual

a thing you do a lot is kinda just be sprawled in bed together doing your own thing

not necessarily cuddling but your both just comfy

you guys have picked up on your couple routines and habits and what not

so things have definitely smoothed over

thankfully

with baths kats prefers not to take them together

like he just doesn’t see the point

and it’s prob quicker separately

yeah no he’s not doing it

if you’ve been together for years by now, however

he might let you wash his hair

only cuz he likes the way you scrub/scratch his scalp

its relaxing

he still doesn’t wanna do it all the time tho

You two def always work out together

so at least that

he always makes sure you pack everything before going to train/work out

he’s more meticulous than you know and it annoys him when one of you forget something

“it’s fine katsuki just leave it!”

”no I’ll just go run and get it it’s fine!”

you might as well wait bc he just has to have this one thing

idk why

you guys take a good amount of water breaks and such but you go really hard core while your at it

He’s probably either silent or a yelling motivator..no in between

Your friends lowkey ship you guys

and tease you

mina tries to get you to do pranks on katsuki

mostly bc she gets more backlash if she does it

LOL

like little stupid pranks like drawing on his face or acting like your cheating 😊

THATS NOT A LITTLE PRANK BUT SHE TRIES TO CONVINCE YOU ANYWAY-

“give in to peer pressure!” >:(

Dont katsuki will explode

LITTERALLY-

ok my bad but I just had to put at least one bad joke in there..

💥💥

HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!

I had fun writing this and it didn’t take long at all :)

[artdcnaldson]

i do a lot of maladaptive daydreaming so i feel like a lot of the things i want to send are too elaborate to subject you to also idk how to write a prompt but i've been thinking thoughts about dodge mason...

and competing against him in bronc riding events. you've just moved to the area and you're good. impressively, frustratingly good. he's heard the old heads murmur about you: 18 years old, feisty little thing, giving some of these seasoned professionals a real run for their money.

dodge doesn't feel intimidated by you—so what if you've won a few local competitions? he's the best in the county. the state, even. he's humble about it, of course, but he's starting to run out of room on his trophy shelves. 

obviously, he's curious though. anyone would be. so he drives to a competition out of town. he’s casual about it, dressed in a black tshirt and jeans, lingers in the back of the crowd, hands in his pockets. he doesn’t know who to look for—no one ever mentioned your name or any physical characteristics (the latter is a bit shocking, really. you must be really damn good for the rodeo chauvinists to speak only on your skill). 

he figures it out the second he sees you on a horse. there’s something enchanting about the way you ride: graceful and confident, your pigtail braids flying through the air as the horse tries to buck you off of its back, a pearly grin on your face. you brush yourself off when you jump to the ground. you walk back around the gate and he finds himself making quite the effort not to stare while you shuck off your vest and remove your mouthguard. he’s not doing a great job, though. you finally catch him staring, his gaze way more intense than he probably intended. you cock your head and offer him an awkward smile and a small wave. 

he swallows when he realizes you’re approaching him. he was hoping you might’ve been walking toward the people behind him or making your way to the bleachers, but your eyes are locked with his as you stride toward him, kicking up dust with your bedazzled cowboy boots. he scans his eyes over your body—with the intention of sizing up the competition. Not to check you out. 

if he were checking you out though, the way your jeans hug your figure would make him sweat. you unbutton your shirt as you walk, the front panels falling away to reveal a dainty little tank top. your chest gleams with sweat and a shiny charm necklace bounces between your breasts. your cheeks, kissed by the sun, burn brighter with the exertion of the ride. you have to tilt your head back to keep eye contact with him. his mouth feels dry. 

“you’re dodge mason. you hold the county record,” you hold out a tiny hand and smile, warmer this time. he takes your hand and nods, wracking his brain for a better response. he’d always been a bit frugal with words, especially around strangers. he was a thinker. conversational skills were never a priority of his. 

however, there wasn’t much thought behind the “uh, yeah,” he finally offers. he scrunches his nose a bit at his own response. you wait a beat to make room for another sentence. he nods again and manages to add, “state too.” you pull your hand away. the third smile you give him is harder to read. 

rodeo is full of needle-dicked assholes. drunk on machismo, their egos enter the room before they do. you’ve met your fair share; they huff and puff and grumble obscenities when you beat them. you think dodge seems like one of them. you purse your lips and nod to yourself. 

“well, i just came over here to tell you that i’m coming for your records. i thought i’d be kind and warn you so you can prepare yourself to lose. most men don’t take too kindly to it,” you don’t give him any time to respond before you turn on your heel and walk away. he shoves his hands in his pockets and watches you go. he looks down at the ground where you stood and smiles to himself. huh. 

OOOOUUUGHGHGHHHH DODGE MASON IN MY INBOX <3 Also I'm a maladaptive daydreamer as well <3 twins <3

And he watches you at the next rodeo— not just during your event, but always. The way you offer smiles like it's nothing, how your clothes always sparkle in the Texas sun— bedazzled across the pockets of your jeans, sparkly rhinestoned cowboy boots, across your tits on your tanktop. It's like you know people are going to look at you, so you might as well give them something fun to see.

He must look like a fucking creep to everyone else— lingering and leering. You crouch down to talk to a little girl who was watching your event, smiling brightly, all sweet and friendly. The little girl hands you a horse plushie, which you try to refuse, but ultimately walk away with. You're nice to everyone you meet... until you spot Dodge.

"Are you stalking me?" The plush is still tucked safely in your arms as you look up at him, and he finds himself uncomfortably nervous to try his hand at conversation.

Dodge blanches, a bit. "No, I'm not st—" He swallows hard, tries to deflect. He had been spending his day following you around, kind of. "You nearly beat the county record."

His county record. You nod, mouth twisted to the side as you look at him. "Mhmm." You glance past him. "Did you need something?"

"Uh... no. Just wanted to tell you I was impressed."

It's meant to be a compliment, an olive branch to soothe... whatever it was that he had fucked up during that first conversation. Instead, your brows knit, and you scoff. "Oh, well, thank you, Dodge Mason. What would a girl like me do without your approval?"

You've heard all about Dodge. Well, rumors mostly. He didn't play well with others— unless they were buckle bunnies lingering around after his events. He wasn't there to make friends, or whatever. Which is fine. You didn't need to be friends with an egotistical, narcissistic dickhead, and you certainly weren't going to give him the satisfaction of letting him fuck you.

Even if he was incredibly talented, and attractive, and his cologne smelled really nice after being surrounded by horses and mud and sweat all afternoon.

"I think a girl like you would be just fine," he says, and you want to scowl at the flutter of something in the pit of your stomach. "Congratulations on the win."

He's competing in the next Rodeo you're at. You watch his event, eyes wide, almost mesmerized by his skill. He's not just good, he's effortless out there. He spots you, tips his hat, and you swear you feel the angry glares of five pretty girls all vying for his affection.

[ronearoundblindly]

🧙‍♀️- which witch is which: send someone kinks/tropes and some babes and let them synch them up

Tropes and kinks- Mob AU, A disaster that turns out good, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Masturbation, Finding your crush naked in bed, Cock worshipping.

Babes of choice-

Add more characters if you want!

Full disclosure: I would never pick Mob AU...but Lloyd would be the only character I could see it for.

Now, to the real options!!!

If you couldn't tell from the ask, this will not be a safe post for minors. Warnings for some smutty talk/innuendo.

Finding Steve Rogers naked in bed...

Hazard of wearing a skin-tight suit, Stevie much prefers to be naked at home (or just not working)--well, naked in a bedroom, minimally dressed everywhere else in a house/apartment/hotel room. He doesn't even mean it to be sexy; he just can't stand all the restriction all the time. Steve is most-often found laying face-down on the bed anyway, and no, not with the intention of showing off his ass. It's because he's "resting his eyes" like an old fart. (This, however, does not rule out some fooling around if you're into it. His eyes can rest while he blindly, yet deftly, gropes at your body.)

Joke about his tiny-Ts all you want, but that fabric is nothing compared to padding, leather, and kevlar.

Steve is also a secret whore for air conditioning. He is the reason that thermostat can go so low. He wants to be frozen to the point of needing all the fluffy, soft covers and you tucked up against him. People think the cold in general would be triggering for him, but that's mostly the combo of isolation, cold, and wet. Luckily, he doesn't need to give his muscles ice baths with the help of the serum.

Friend Andy Barber grows into more...

IDK, man, this guy is such a workaholic (hello, pot, meet kettle) that I see him finding a bond with a coworker or someone at least as dedicated to their work as he is. He's the type that tells himself he has no time for romance yet inadvertently spends long nights and some weekends 'working'--which he does, he does do all that work. Andy just, ya know, grows feelings as his understanding of the case grows...

Apropos of nothing, y'all know how lawyers love a good argument...and therefore a good speech...and therefore I present to you my theory that Andy fucking loves you to take over in bed and talk dirty. It's just a thought. Yeah. I think he'd be really into that.

Disaster Ari Levinson turns out good...

Best laid plans of big, dumb jocks and all, Ari doesn't necessarily think things through, so his shenanigans often escalate way too far, too fast. No one really knows how he's survived this long. He's an adrenaline junkie, and you bet your ass he wants to impress when he's interested in someone.

What he actually planned undoubtedly goes horribly wrong, but somehow you still end up safely pinned between his body and the danger he created, panting out your 'thank you' and 'what the fuck' in breaths Ari steals. He's a messy, passionate kisser who lives a messy, passionate life.

Bonus: Mutual Masturbation with this guy ⬇️

I would be ashamed of anyone needing me to explain why.

[Main Masterlist; 'Who Would' Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[pepperf]

Whilst I fully get tumblr's bias towards artists, I've been side-eyeing the whole Jonathan Yeo speculation--because yes, on the whole, people in the arts DO tend to be lefty, good people, etc, but it's not always the case. Official portraiture, in particular, tends to be the most Establishment-friendly of all the arts, attracting the kind of artists who are technically very talented, but who also have no inclination to rock the boat and are very happy to schmooze with those in power.

I know next to nothing about Jonathan Yeo, but on a little digging, I found:

He's the son of a Tory MP and is good friends with the Earl of Snowdon.

He's known for a painting of Tony "war criminal" Blair that made him look as tragic and sympathetic as possible.

He's also done chummy portraits of David "pigfucker" Cameron, Camilla (when she was still Duchess of Cornwall), Prince "massive racist" Philip, and Rupert Murdoch.

The notorious porn collage of George Bush was (allegedly) after a an official commission was approved and then withdrawn, so - fit of pique? Who knows. He also did a porn collage of Lucian Freud, which, given that he's often cited as Freud's natural successor in the world of big name British portrait artists, is a little rude.

On the other hand, if you know anything about Damian Hirst, you would know that he must have LOVED to be painted with his crotch in your face, looking like Henry VIII. Dude is a knob.

No one in Yeo's position is going to imply that a D-Day veteran is a war criminal. Just. Full stop. No.

Furthermore, his whole schtick seems to be to paint the background to match the outfit, in a kind of weird, matchy-matchy, interior decor style that I personally find meaningless.

Chas chose to wear his beloved Welsh Guards uniform, which is a lurid, bright red. Whatever else Yeo did, red was always going to be the dominant colour of that painting. The butterfly was apparently his idea, too, because he thinks he's some kind of eco-warrior.

Yes, Yeo has painted Malala Yousafzai, and Idris Elba, and Kristin Scott Thomas, and Baroness Doreen Lawrence, and lots of other worthy people, too - it's his job, he's a portraitist.

If you want my opinion, the impression that Chas is swimming in buckets of blood or burning in hellfire is something the artist did not intend. Don't ask me how he didn't look at it and think, hmm, that's a little on the nose - maybe he'd thought too much about colour theory, too, idk. Judging by his past history, he's probably enjoying the attention rather than being mortified. Or maybe that was partly the intention. Just don't give him too much credit for being intentionally subversive.

But absolutely do keep reading into that painting as the indictment of British royal power that it ought to be; it's pissing off both the royals and the royalists, and I hope it burns, every time Chas has to see it.

[shhrrroooommmmmyyyyyy]

S1: The Birb's Feelings

(pt 1.5 for episode 7 and 2 for season 2 idk when cause shit's crazy rn)

Stolas is one of the most morally controversial characters in the show. With the show revolving around Blitz's relationships, it's natural that the show gives us the most information about him because he is arguably Blitz's most complicated relationship at the moment (I'm not going to include Barbie bc we've literally only seen her for like 5 minutes in one episode which isn't enough information). I wanted to do a quick overview of how I perceive Stolas's feelings throughout the duration of the show in sort of a timeline format

~Episodes 1, 2, 5~

So, at first, it's obvious Stolas doesn't really think of Blitz too romantically and mostly sexually. Ok, completely sexually. However, there's a reason why that people often overlook sometimes. Stella openly said in the season 2 premiere that the only time him and her had sex was to have Octavia. Man's literally been deprived of anything enjoyably sexual his whole life. So when he finally does have sex that's enjoyable for the first time, he naturally wants more of it

As we all know, Stolas isn't the most self aware king (or should I say prince) out there (which is okay; he's still growing and developing as a character). The way he treats Blitz in these first few episodes sort of gives off sex toy vibes. Obviously, this is where Blitz gets that mindset from, that all he is is just a toy for Stolas

But after seeing what Stolas' true personality is now, I highly doubt Stolas knew exactly how he was treating Blitz during this time. Again, self awareness issues. Natural part of his character that, after watching Viv's writing since the Hazbin pilot first released (yeah og right here), I'm positive will be developed on later in the show. So hold your horses people, we're just now 2 episodes away from only being halfway through with the show. Give it time, it'll happen

Anyways, Stolas isn't a bad person (I'll fight anyone over this take, dont play). But he does the wrong things with the right intentions. He treated Blitz the way he did in these first few episodes because Blitz was the first person he's ever enjoyed having sex with. It's a big deal to him as it sort of "awakened" him. I think he was so happy about the sex after around 35 years of nothing, he didn't fully realize how he was treating Blitz in the process

*Not an excuse, but simply a possible explanation for his actions*

~Episode 6~

My favorite episode. Stolas shows up when I.M.P.'s sort of cornered by the agents and scares them shitless with his scawy big birb form. First he makes sure Blitz is okay, then he scolds him for getting caught. Almost like a mother who's mad but cares for their well-being (crying in ghostfuckers)

This may seem small to you guys, but for me this was when Stolas became my favorite character. Not only did this moment show he's more than just the cringy comedic horny relief, it also showed that he cared. Why would he ask if Blitz is okay if he didn't care about him? That has nothing to do with the book. If it got in possession of humans he could literally just kill them in like a second and take it back. Tbh (dont come after me pls) but before this episode I didn't like my first impression of Stolas. Despite the many takes calling the cringiness of his lines in the first few episodes "iconic", I hated it. It was just too much

And in this scene it's not just that he's asking in general, it's how gentle he's being with Blitz. Holding his face and speaking a bit softer with a caring expression on his face. I love it so much (aggghghhghghgahhaagh). I know his attitude changes after a few seconds, but still it was a nice moment that reshaped my perspective on his character for basically the rest of the show

*Like I said before I'l give episode 7 it's own post cause i'm too tired and there's so much to talk abt in that episode*

[peakyltd]

New Endings - Part 3

Part 3 | Tommy Shelby x reader

A/N: Well this is posted later than I intended but I was struggling with this one and after working a little bit too long on it, idk what to think of it anymore 🥲 Anyway, I hope you'll still like it!

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of injuries, mentions of domestic violence/abuse.

Word count: 5.4k

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART

Tommy held his aunt's displeased gaze, if her angry tone didn't already gave away how she felt, her eyes would for sure. "Did you forgot who her fiancé is? Who says we can trust her?"

"It's (Y/N), Pol." Tommy's toneless voice objected, not impressed by Polly's words. "You think people won't change? It’s our company that’s connected to the house, it’ll become a fucking target." She confuted.

Tommy had gathered Polly, Arthur, John and Michael for a family meeting in his office in Arrow House. He had enlightened them on the new situation and found details about David. Much doubt arose when he announced that (Y/N) stayed at the old family home, mostly from Polly who questioned her intentions or that from her fiancé.

“Ah c’mon Pol, d'you really think she’d try anythin'?” John turned in his chair to look at his aunt, his eyebrows furrowed. Not believing (Y/N) would have any intentions to screw them over.

“She won’t.” Tommy interrupted them as he leant back in his chair. He hadn't expect the backlash he just received, assuming they would all just accept it. The words of his aunt lingered in his head, maybe he was taking a risk but at the same time he didn’t believe (Y/N) would go against him. Not in the state he had found her in.

“She stays there. I’ll find her a home in the meantime.” He looked at each of his family members, a dominant look in his eyes, a sign that there was no room for negotiation. Something that didn’t work well on Polly. “You’re blinded, Thomas. Remember how it worked out for you the last time.”

Tommy clenched his jaw at her remark, annoyed that she brought up his late wife and the way she had lied to him. Despite the betrayal it didn’t stop him from loving her and forgiving her. Something Polly never did.

“I’m helping her so that bastard doesn’t kill her.”

Michael cleared his throat, the tension between Polly and Tommy was clearly palpable and it made him feel uncomfortable. “With who is David involved with?” He wondered, recalling the information Tommy gave them earlier. “I don’t know yet.”

“We’ll keep an eye on that bloody bastard, right Tom?” Arthur looked at his younger brother, showing him that he got his back. “We do.”

Polly shook her head. “Isn’t this place big enough?" She referred to Arrow House. "You have plenty of space for a guest.”

“She felt safe at Watery Lane.” Tommy directed his attention back to his aunt. Polly narrowed her eyes. “That’s what she tells you.”

Tommy sighed as he kept his gaze on her. “Thank you all for coming.” His brothers and cousin got up to leave the office together, unlike Polly, who remained in her chair with her arms crossed.

“You’re dismissed Pol, free to go.” He bossed her while he put his glasses on his nose and took a folder with documents from his desk.

“You wouldn’t let her stay here, do you?” Polly sneered at him. He looked up over his glasses. “I wouldn’t want to give off the wrong ideas now, do I?”

A humorless laugh fell off her lips. “Please, Thomas don’t-“ Tommy slammed the folder on the desk, making Polly slightly jump at the sudden noise. “Listen to me, eh?! She's no bad news. We’ll go see her tomorrow and you’ll see with your own bloody eyes what happened. I’m not fucking stupid Pol.”

Polly let the silence after Tommy's finished sentence surround them for a moment as she stood up. She walked over to his desk and leaned over it, pointing her finger in his face. “You don’t realize what you got yourself into.” Her eyes were boring into his, showing him that she meant it.

Rays of sunlight streamed trough the small gaps of the curtain, touching (Y/N)'s face in a kind way. The soft light slowly awoke her from her peaceful rest. She snuggled into the blanket as she opened her eyes, carefully taking in her surroundings. Her mind took her back to the events of the day before, just like it did during the night until exhaustion took her into it's arms and gave her the rest she so desperately needed.

The room felt safe and if she could, she would lock herself in there so she didn't have to worry about anyone. Unfortunately things weren't that easy and she had to prepare herself for her new future, something new and unknown.

She sat up and put the pillow against the metal bedframe. While she got comfortable, she looked around the room. It was exactly how she remembered it, the flower pattern on the wallpaper, the chair next to the bedside table and the tapestry that hung next to the bed. It was as if the younger versions of both her and Tommy could walk trough the door at any moment. The sigh that left her mouth was slow as she reminded herself of easier times.

She got up and changed into the dress that Tommy had left for her before opening the curtains. The sky had replaced the somber grey colors for a calm blue one, clouds were dappled here and there. Golden threads of the morning sun directly shined into the bedroom, a smile tugged on the corners of her lips as she looked outside. It felt as if this was nature's way to tell her that she made the right decision. Or well, she would like to believe it was.

She turned away from the window and left the room to make her way downstairs where she got herself a cup of tea. The kitchen didn't offer her the same safe feeling as Tommy's bedroom did, making her feel like some kind of intruder in a place where she shouldn't be.

She looked up at the clock on the wall, no idea on what to do next. Her belongings were not with her, she didn't dare to set a foot outside and she didn't know when or if Tommy came back today.

The sound of footsteps made her snap out of her thoughts as her heartbeat exceeded. "Good morning, love."

"Polly..." She breathed out the visitors name while she tried to keep her composure, knowing her voice had probably betrayed her already. She hadn't expect to see Tommy's aunt, at least not yet. "Good morning."

"It's been a while." The dark haired woman looked at her as a small smile played on her lips. While she eyed the younger woman in front of her, she let Tommy's words play trough her head again. He was convinced that they could trust (Y/N) however there was something that didn't sat right with her.

"It is." (Y/N) returned a small smile. "Would you like some tea? I just made some." She asked Polly, her hands trembled slightly while she put her cup on the table.

"I'll get it myself." Polly answered before taking off her coat and hanging it on the rack. "How have you been?"

"Well..." She let her hands rest on the back of a chair that stood by the table. "I'm alright."

"Alright?" Polly filled a cup and turned to face her. "If you were alright, I don't think you would be here." She pointed out while she sat down at the table. "I-"

"Please take a seat." Polly interrupted her, directing her with her eyes. Her gaze did not leave the woman in front of her until she sat down. "I heard you were engaged."

"I am. For a while actually." (Y/N) confirmed while she twisted the ring around her finger. She felt her palms getting sweaty, unable to tell why she felt so nervous all of sudden. Polly had always been good to her and they got along from the moment they had met.

Polly sipped on her tea, letting the silence linger for a while before she spoke up again. "You're living in London now?" (Y/N) nodded in response. "Yes." She wasn't able to stand the long silences Polly used after her answers. "It's been very different from what I was used to."

"Better?" The older woman asked her. (Y/N) shrugged. "In some ways."

"I think London is convenient for your fiancé's work, isn't it?" Polly's head was slightly tilted backwards as she looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, (Y/N) broke the eye contact and looked down at the table. "It is. Easier for the distribution of the car parts."

"I see." Polly noticed that the behavior of the woman in front of her was different, nothing like she had remembered. She noticed the bruises in her neck and on her arms, which she had tried to cover up with the dress she was wearing. Her confident appearance was replaced with fear and shame. "And now you're here."

(Y/N) felt Polly's gaze almost burning into her skin. Her questions made her wonder what else she knew about her life or David's. She just nodded, thinking about a way to tell her without making it too complicated for herself. "I couldn't take it anymore." Her voice was soft, almost too scared to admit it.

"Tommy told me." Polly's expression softened as she started to feel pity for her. "I didn't expect him to help me." (Y/N) dared to look up at her again as she heard a soft laugh coming from her mouth. "He's full of surprises lately."

The sound of the front door alerted both of them. She felt her body tense as she looked at the opening that led to the small hallway where a familiar man had showed up.

"Did I miss the tea party?" Tommy's low voice filled the room while he walked in, giving his aunt a stern look.

"You did." Polly shot back at him, unfazed by his attitude. "Very eager to come see her, eh?" He sneered, annoyed by the fact his aunt didn't listen to him. "I thought she'd like some company." Polly fake smiled at him, knowing exactly how to push his buttons.

Tommy took his cap off and put it on the table in front of him before sitting down. "Would you like some tea?" (Y/N) questioned, already getting up to get him some.

"No. I won't be here long." He leaned back in the chair, looking at her the way Polly did, waiting for her to sit back down. "Oh, okay." She sat back on her chair. "I guess you've already discussed a few things?" Tommy asked, referring to Polly's early visit.

"We did." Polly answered before drinking some of her tea. "Good." Tommy redirected his attention back to (Y/N). "We might have a house for you, it's not much but it's safe. You'll be able to move there in a few weeks."

"A house? Tommy..." While she was lost for words, she tried to let the new information sink in. Tommy took a wad of cash out of his pocket, shoving an amount of it, her way. "This is for food and clothes. Finn can get you some groceries." He assured her while glancing at his aunt who's dark eyes were almost burning holes into his skin. "And I'm sure Polly wouldn't mind to buy you a few dresses."

"No. No I can't take this." She pushed the money back to him. "You did enough already, I don't even know how I have to pay you back." She was taken aback by his gesture, it was way too much.

"You don't have to pay me back. Just take it." He shoved it back to her way, putting the rest of his money back in his pocket. "I know it's not the same as your belongings but this is what I can do for now."

"Oh no... Please don't worry about it. I'm... I just don't know what to say." It didn't felt right to take his money. She wasn't sure if it was because it came from Tommy or that things just went way too fast but either way it made her feel uncomfortable.

"You don't have to say anything. It's yours." He assured her while he got up, grabbing his cap off the table. (Y/N) looked up at him, shaking her head. "I can't-"

"You can." Tommy put his cap back on his head. "Can I at least invite you dinner for tonight? I can't just take it without doing anything back." She offered, it was the least she could do.

He looked at her in silence while blinking a few times. "If you insist." She nodded. "I insist. 7 PM? "

"I’ll see you tonight."

Plates were neatly put across from each other and the bottle of whiskey was already waiting to be opened. Food was almost finished and even though she was a bit late there was no need to hurry since there was still no sign of Tommy.

Knowing he was always on time, she started to worry. Maybe something had happened to him or maybe he changed his mind about the dinner. But if it was the last thing, he would’ve let her know. Right?

She cleaned her hands after she turned the stove off and peeked trough the window. The streets were pretty calm, except for a few people here and there but none of them was the one she was looking for. She decided to wait a little longer and sat down at the table, opening the book Polly had brought her, along with her new clothes and groceries.

It was a welcome distraction for the time she had to kill because much later than expected, Tommy finally entered the house.

She put her book down and looked up at him. "Is everything alright?" She asked him while he took off his cap and coat and sat down at the table. "Everything's alright." He looked at her when she gazed quickly over at the clock. "A little inconvenience at one of the factories." He added, addressing the fact why he was late.

An embarrassed feeling went trough her body when she noticed he caught her looking at the clock, not wanting to give him a feeling as if she was anxiously waiting for him. "Oh, no don't worry. I already thought that it had something to do with... business." She half lied, leaving out the fact that she was worried.

Tommy nodded as he observed her, noticing her new dress and the make up she was wearing. "I like the dress." He boldly told her, making her smile in response. "Thank you. I like it too, Polly got exactly what I wanted."

"I'm glad." He replied as he watched her get up. "You must be hungry." She assumed when she got his plate and took it to the stove. "I made roasted chicken and baked potatoes with cheese."

"It smells nice." He admitted while she put his plate back in front of him. She opened the bottle of whiskey and poured him a glass. "Thank you."

When she got herself a plate as well and had poured herself a glass of wine, she sat across from him. An uneasy feeling crept up on her, it felt weird to have dinner with him after everything that had happened. The only thing that made her feel better was that he didn't seemed as tensed as he was that morning.

"I hope you'll enjoy your meal." She politely smiled at him as she cut a piece of her chicken. "I think I will." He responded before taking a sip of his whiskey.

"Were you able to get some sleep last night?" Tommy wondered, he had noticed that she looked less exhausted than the evening prior. "Yes, a bit but enough to feel better than yesterday."

He nodded as he calmly ate his food. She eyed him carefully, becoming more aware of the things she had already seen in The Garrison. The tired look on his face and the lack of happiness in his eyes were a big contrast to what she had remembered. She thought back at the words he had said to her in the pub, their kiss and how she hit him after. She had felt a yearning to go back and undo what was done. What she did was equally as bad as the things David did.

"I'm sorry." She blurted out, earning a confused look from Tommy. "For what?"

She looked down at the table, feeling insecure under his intense stare. "Hitting you. You know... at The Garrison. After you-." She stammered, feeling stupid that she wasn't able to get out one proper sentence.

"It was very painful, y'know." He deadpanned. She looked up at him, a hint of guilt in her eyes until she realized he was joking. "I'm serious Tommy." He leant back and took a sip of his whiskey. "Me too, that ring hurts."

She parted her lips to speak up but didn't know what to say. A small smile appeared on his face. His attempts to be funny didn't gave her the chance to explain her feelings. "I felt really bad."

"Don't." He assured her, his way to ease her feelings. "You're not angry about it?" Tommy shook his head. "No, 'm not."

She was relieved that he wasn't mad about what she did although his short answers didn't gave her full satisfaction, wondering if he maybe didn't want to talk about it. While Tommy continued eating the food she made, she wondered if the silence had become a family thing since the conversation with Polly wasn't really flowing either. "So..." She awkwardly started, trying to bend the conversation into a different subject.. "How's the family been?"

"Good." He put the cutlery down. "Arthur got married, John became a father again, Ada and Finn are doing well." Her eyes widened in surprise. "Really?" She marveled with a small smile on her face. "That's great news."

"I guess it is." Tommy filled his glass with whiskey once more. His comment made her wonder what he meant but she decided to leave it. "Finn must've changed a lot."

"He did grew up, yeah."

"I remember I caught him smoking when he was just a little boy." She chuckled softly. "Probably wasn't the first and the last time." Tommy snorted lightly as the corner of his lips turned slightly upwards. He couldn't keep count on the numerous of times he had caught the young boy with a cigarette in his mouth.

(Y/N) shared a little more about her memories of the Shelby's as it seemed to be the easiest way to make a conversation with the one in front of her. While they finished their dinner and drank some more, he attentively listened to her stories.

"Well, I think I'll have to thank you for dinner, eh?" Tommy had turned his chair to look at her while she was doing the dishes. He had taken his suit jacket off, leaving him in his dress shirt and vest. "You're not staying for a drink?"

"I've already had a few." He stated as he saw how her lips turned into a smile. "I can get you a glass of water." Her witty comment made him think of the many she used to make all the time. "I'd rather not."

While she dried the last plate, she turned to look at him. "Then at least stay for one more?" She asked him. Despite their dinner starting off awkward, she ended up enjoying it and she wouldn't mind to chat a bit more. "Alright then."

Once she finished, they both moved to the small living room where they sat across from each other. The fireplace warmed the room and a few candles were spread trough the place, the flames glowing on their faces.

"The whole house is exactly like I remember it." She giggled, the wine had given her a little more confidence but also helped her to feel at ease. Tommy looked around, nodding his head slowly. "Not much has changed."

"It's weird to think about how it looks like time stood still while everyone's lives has changed so much." She concluded as her eyes fell on a picture of the three brothers, Tommy was no older than 19. Tommy's gaze moved to the picture before looking at her. "Everyone's lives or our lives?"

(Y/N) turned her head to meet his eyes and shrugged, not expecting his question as it seemed he wanted to keep a distance in every conversation that night. "Both, maybe." Tommy swirled his whiskey in his glass. "Do you think you'd be still living around here, if you didn't meet David?"

She thought about his question. "Maybe, yes. I don't think London is where I belong." She pulled her knees up and let her legs rest on the sofa she was sitting on. "It's too busy, I guess. The people are different as well."

"How did you meet him?" Tommy asked while he leaned his arms on the chair, curious about how she met him. "At a party, in a club. Also in London." She took a sip of her wine. "A friend invited me. He was there with a group of his friends and he came to the rescue when some Italian was bothering me." She smiled at the memory. "We hit it off pretty well and it turned out the Italian was friend of his who had a few too many drinks."

Tommy nodded once more, replaying the words in his head. This could be information that would help him find the missing link he was looking for, it confirmed his suspicion.

"For how long have you been engaged now?" He continued asking about her relationship. "6 months. He promised he'd do better so I said yes."

"But he didn't." He concluded. "No." She looked at the fireplace as she thought about the past few years. "For how long have you been married?"

"A few months." (Y/N) saw Tommy's eyes change, although his expression remained the same. "Did you love her?"

"I did." He sighed after he finished his whiskey. "Yeah.."

"I'm sorry Tommy." She immediately apologized. She didn't want her curiosity to be the reason behind a ruined night as it appeared to be a sensitive topic. He shook his head, his eyes finding hers again. "No, it's okay."

They both remained silent, thinking about their lives and how things could've ended so differently. (Y/N) decided to get up and get herself another glass of wine. She passed the chair where Tommy was sitting and gently took the glass out of his hand. Their fingers touched briefly, sending a kind of warm sensation trough his body. He looked up at her, her eyes meeting his as they locked their gaze for a moment. His electric blue eyes stared directly into hers, just like they had done many times before. A familiar feeling found it's way in her stomach before she looked away. "I'm- I'll get you a new one." She mumbled before making her way to the kitchen.

Her heart was beating faster as she leaned against the counter, not fully understanding what her body tried to tell her. While she took the time to get herself together, she decided to just blame it on the alcohol.

When she returned with their drinks, she found him smoking in his chair while he let his head rest on his other hand. His eyes were staring at the table. She stopped in front of him, getting his attention as he looked up. “Are you okay?” She asked before handing him his glass.

He blew smoke out of his mouth while he sat up. “I am.” Her hand found its way to his cheek as she gently stroked his skin with her thumb, a way to comfort him. Their eyes finding each other again while she continued. He had missed the genuine and gentle touches of solace. The contact of her skin on his, made him crave for more. Just as he wanted to lean into her touch, she pulled her hand away. Taking the comfort only she could give, with her.

She hadn’t expected to be so drawn to the urge to touch him. Usually she wouldn’t dare and she wasn’t even sure if he was okay with, although his intense stare almost assured her that she was doing something right. The increase of confidence from the alcohol was helping her more than she realized, it could be a good time to use it while it lasted.

“Can I ask you something?” She sat back on the sofa as she watched him finish his cigarette. “You can.”

“Did you mean it what you said? That the ring on my finger should’ve been yours?” Tommy blinked a few times before nodding slowly. “You know I did.”

“Then why did you let me go in the first place?” She let her fingers slide over the stem of her wineglass, the wait for his answer forming an unknown feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Because this life’s not a life where you belong. We'd be better off without each other.”

She remembered the countless arguments that started that last conversation which broke her heart. She didn’t want to give up on him, on them but he forced her to. He forced her out of his life as if it was nothing, as if she was nothing but just an erased memory.

She remembered the evening he told her it was for the best if they didn't saw each other anymore. It was for the best he said but in the end nothing turned out for the best.

She remembered how he told her how life was going to be from that moment, that she had no choice if she stayed but that the exact life within her choice, wasn’t one she belonged to. His words were harsh and his demeanor was cold, as if he didn’t want to understand her feelings or might as well pretended that he didn’t. Only to make it easier for himself.

She remembered how she called him a selfish bastard, how she hated him and how he just stared at her, saying nothing.

“You could’ve protected me and still let me live my own life.” Tommy shook his head as stubbed out his cigarette. “You hated how there were people always watching you, remember the many times you told me it was suffocating you? It only became worse after that, you wouldn’t be happy.”

She couldn’t deny the suffocating feeling it gave her, knowing that everywhere she went, there would be someone watching her. Good or bad, it didn’t matter. But she loved him deeply and a part of her didn't care anymore, as long as she could be with him. “I loved you, do you realize that?”

He sighed softly at her words before taking a sip of his drink. “You think I didn’t love you?”

“No… not the way you left me heartbroken with a shit explanation in the middle of the same fucking kitchen we just had our dinner in. If you really loved me, you would’ve listened to me but you never did.” Her words held the anger she had for years but still came out calmly. "And don't even get me started on how quick you fucking replaced me, that's not love."

Tommy clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing slightly. “I listened (Y/N). I always fucking listened but I knew it would never make you happy. I never would. And talking about replacing, eh? I fucking told you I didn't replace you. Have you forgotten how I went looking for you after you left?"

She scoffed as she listened to him. “Oh yeah, because you were so sorry. So sorry for yourself, that you ended up alone again." Her voice became louder, just like the anger within her. "If you really wanted to find me, you would. Just like a few weeks ago."

"You didn't want to be found." He defended, getting annoyed at her accusations. "Not after what you did, no."

He shook his head as he put his glass on the table, a little harsher than expected. “You wouldn’t be happy but I wanted you to be.” He pointed his finger at her. “I didn’t want to throw away the years we had and I didn’t want to break your fucking heart but I knew how much you loved your fucking freedom and I didn’t want to be the person that would take it away from you.”

She looked at him, his words hitting her in a way she didn’t expect. His voice was strong and determined. She wasn't sure if it was anger or not. “You were always that strong, independent woman. Always out there to do whatever you wanted. Who the fuck was I to take it away from you, eh? You know it would’ve made you unhappy. Love wouldn’t have changed that.”

“I still am.” Her words sounded soft as she disagreed with his statement. “What?” His eyebrows furrowed at her comment. “I’m still the same woman. You said were.”

“Please, have you looked…” Tommy didn’t finish his sentence, instead he took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. Her body tensed and her eyes narrowed as she waited for to finish his sentence. “Have I looked, what?”

“Have you looked at yourself?” He continued his abruptly stopped sentence. He sat up straight, his voice picking up the same tone as before. “You’re far from that. The woman I knew would’ve dared to yell in my face if I deserved it, she would speak up when no one else would and she wouldn’t take shit from anybody.”

(Y/N) gulped at his words, tears brimmed in her eyes as she kept his gaze, listening to the other things he had to say.

“The woman in front of me is a ghost of all of that. The spark in your eyes is gone and all I see is fear. You changed in the worst way and it’s because of him. He fucking ruined you (Y/N).”

She sniffled softly, as she tried not to break down in front him. He was right.

Tommy's eyes did not leave her frame. She tried to take a deep breath, ready to speak up but she couldn't. He moved to the edge of his seat to place a hand on her knee, squeezing it gently.

"You're nothing better." She choked on her words as she watched his thumb moving in patterns over her knee. "I would've ended up the same as I stayed with you." Of course he wasn't the same as David but her life wouldn't have looked much different than from what it did now.

Her mind took her back to David who told her so many times how much he loved her. Who always made it up to her after his outbursts, telling her how sorry he was and that he would do better. He did, even if it only lasted for a few days until he fell back in old patterns. Despite it all, she still loved him, or at least she thought she did. Perhaps it could be the fear speaking, that when she told herself she didn't, he'd come find her.

Tommy shook his head as he felt himself losing his temper. There were many people who held grudges against him and those also brought many accusations however being compared to David was something completely new.

"If you ended up the same, then please enlighten me on the last time I caused this." He grabbed her arm and lifted her sleeve a little harsher than intended, revealing her bruised arm.

She gasped and looked up at him with widened eyes. "Stop, Tommy." While he let go of her arm, she quickly pulled her sleeve down. "I never laid one single finger on you, now tell me again that I'm nothing better than that fucking bastard!" His voice was harsh and full of bitterness. "I don't understand why you keep fucking defending him while nothing like this looks like the love you've been desperately looking for."

She watched him get up and looked up as he towered over her. His words hitting her like he hoped they did, an attempt to wake her up and make her realize what she was doing.

"If you want to go back to him, then please go but remind yourself that if you stay with him, you'll end up six feet under within a year. And he wouldn't even be sorry."

Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think!

Taglist: @cyphah @kissforvoid @liter4ti

[fudanshipoe]

ranpo edogawa is autistic

a long analysis of ranpo's autistic traits (around 2k?? Idk it's long)

(there were meant to be wayyy more pics, including quotes from the novel, but I couldn't add more than 10 </3)

1) socialization

a) bluntness and literal thinking

Ranpo communicates in a very frank manner. He is always straight to the point in the way he talks and comes off as rude to the people around him. He’s self-aware of the fact that he does not act according to the social expectations of others and verbalizes this himself many times in the series. He does put others down for not being on his intellectual level, very frequently I will say, but that is not always his intention when pointing out the obvious to other people, and subsequently coming off as unintentionally rude. Along with this, he is a very chatty individual who goes on about his own findings in such a way that gives the impression that he always regards others with a flippant attitude, and while this is true to some degree due to his self pride, Ranpo does not always intend this to be the effect. Ranpo is not always aware of social cues relating to this, either. For example, there are many times when another character's words go straight over his head because he takes it at face value. Literal thinking is another autistic trait that he exhibits heavily in the series, and this goes beyond his ability to discern logical facts. Another point of his seeming social unawareness is his lack of understanding of other people. This is shown heavily within the Untold Origins light novel, Ranpo expresses throughout the novel that there is something everyone else gets that he does not, and that he is isolated from the rest of the world.

b) low empathy

Ranpo also has very low empathy. This is another common autistic trait, though it is just as probable for an autistic to be on the extreme opposite. One of Ranpo's most outwardly identifying traits is the flippant attitude he carries for others. Even his own personal motto is about himself, after all. So it's natural to assume he is just self-centered, but he isn't. Ranpo struggles to identify with other people's emotions. That is to say, his way of thinking is very literal, as I stated earlier. He struggles to conceptualize other people's emotions, but he expresses compassionate and cognitive empathy (desire to help and the desire to understand rather than what people typically think of “empathy” as, emotional empathy or feeling other people’s emotions). He voices himself that he isn't that great at sympathizing with people in the manga. At one point, before Atsushi joins the Agency, Ranpo weighs him as less important compared to the Agency because of his focus on protecting the Agency and his comrades, to which he does not recognize Atsushi as at this time. He does care about helping people, but Ranpo is more concerned with those close to him.

c) personal boundary issues

Ranpo struggles with recognizing boundaries with other people, both with personal space and his inability to conceptualize with others a lot of the time. In the Perfect Crime arc, he bluntly demands a lot from Mushitaro, something that he does often. Ranpo doesn't think about if he inconveniences others a lot. It isn't something that is a priority in his mind, or it goes over his head that he even is an inconvenience to people. It's another example of his not picking up on social cues.

He overall does not behave or think in a conventional way according to other people, and this is something that excludes him from the adult world in Untold Origins. He says how he isn't taken seriously by adults in the novel as well, something that is, like the rest of his experiences, is pretty common for autistic people for us not to be taken seriously. His friends and family at the Agency never demean Ranpo for any of his traits, though, and this support is extremely important.

2) sensory related issues and behaviors

Throughout the series, in the main manga and in the spinoffs, Ranpo expresses a struggle with bland food. He refuses to eat anything that does not have an intense flavor. Many autistic people will have restrictive eating habits, whether it is because of sensory reasons or otherwise. Some gravitate towards a bland palette because it offers a consistent expectation of an eating experience. Many others, like in what I speculate to be Ranpo's case, instead go for flavorful foods as a means of sensory seeking. I believe this is also a form of stimming for Ranpo, but I will go over that later on. He has some admittedly odd eating habits as well, such as weird pairings like Tecchou, and while it is likely meant to be a joke, it can be related to his other food habits.

Ranpo also seems to struggle with form-fitting clothes. He chooses baggier items for his everyday wear, which includes not wearing his tie or shirt correctly (he tucks it in the sides), and his big shorts. In this specific BSD:TOTL card he can also be interpreted as struggling with formal attire, too, because of his compliance only after being distracted with a sensory input, which in this case is food as per usual with him.

Stimming is essentially repetitive, sensory self soothing behavior. Every person seeks sensory stimuli to calm themself, but it's especially observable in many autistic folks and most commonly associated with neurodivergent people in general. Ranpo seems to be attracted to marbles from his ramune bottle, staring at them and rolling or holding them between his fingers. This could be taken as an example of visual and tactile stimming. Ranpo is almost always pictured eating some type of snack foods, or he opts for flavorful foods in his palette. This relates to his sensory issues, as I pointed out earlier, but it is also another way that many people seek out sensory stimulation, through oral fixations or for the taste. He is also shown with suckers a lot throughout the series, and I take this as Ranpo going for either the smooth texture of suckers or for that ease to have something to stimulate himself on hand. There are moments when Ranpo flaps his hands or arms when excited, or yet another example of possible tactile stimming.

3) comfort objects

Ranpo exhibits a dependency on Fukuzawa's glasses. Comfort objects are something common with autistic people, as the emotional attachment to an item could be related to security or other factors. He gets extremely upset when he is without his glasses, both because he needs them for his “ability”, but they also serve as an important reminder of Fukuzawa himself, who Ranpo values greatly. Ranpo doesn't care that it is a cheap pair of glasses. He values it because of its connection to his father figure. He has a meltdown whenever he is without it, or someone insists he doesn't need his glasses, like in Poe's Murder Mansion, when he gets upset towards Yosano.

4) meltdowns

His strong emotional reactions in moments like this are akin to that of autistic meltdowns, which outwardly appear to be oversized tantrums, but they aren't. Autistic meltdowns are an extreme involuntary physical response to stressors. One of the pivotal moments for Ranpo's character in the Untold Origins novel is his meltdown in the theater, which resulted from his ongoing frustration and isolation from the world around him, and this is a large part of many autistic experiences. This is one scene that personally got to me, as I have very similar feelings towards the world. It is one of the moments that was lost in the anime adaptation, as it shows the culmination of Ranpo's frustration and the moment where he finally breaks down. It does not have the same effect of conveying Ranpo's isolation and struggles. It is one of his biggest character moments, I would say, as it is the final precursor to Fukuzawa fully stepping in to guide Ranpo.

5) "childish nature"

Ranpo is dubbed as childish due to his stubborn behavior, his inability to do seemingly basic things, and his “self centered” attitude which is really his low empathy. He refuses to do anything that does not interest him, or that is outside of his comfort zone. He doesn't conduct his detective work in a traditional manner because it bores him, he negates the idea of having to handle things that don't interest him on his cases. Ranpo has a large lack of independence alongside this, in refusing to learn to do basic tasks, like his inability to navigate himself. He can't do basic tasks such as cooking or laundry either and relies on others to do them. Ranpo struggles to function independently, and relies heavily on others around him for support. His friends and family in the ADA never treat any of his traits as negative, they both indulge him and treat him as a normal person. He is allowed to exist as he is without judgment, at least in the Agency, just as the other members are.

6) aversion to change

Ranpo refuses to go outside of his comfort zone, as I stated before. There is rarely a point in the series where Ranpo goes out of his way to differ from his regular. He is insistent on the fact that he is a gifted detective despite being aware of reality. This is both in part due to his attachment to the idea and his inability to let go of the image he has resulting from his self expectations. He doesn't want anything to change in the way his comrades view him. Of course, this also connects to how he is so attached to the idea because it was the first way he was able to make sense of the world. He lashes out towards Yosano during a meltdown in Poe's Mansion, as mentioned earlier, due to her potentially challenging this idea.

7) restrictive and unconventional interests

While not every autistic person has a narrowed focus of interests, niche or ultimately odd interests are highly associated with autistic people. Ranpo fits into this very well, as evident by how he works. As established before, Ranpo has a tendency to reject anything outside of his scope of interest. He only handles the most gruesome of cases at the Agency or when he is needed specially for a case. His interest falls under an umbrella of the grotesque and weird. He only puts his full brain power on the main thing that matters to him, his detective work. While this is because of his position as the heart of the Agency with his abilities, Ranpo cannot apply himself to the same level on other things outside of this bubble, similar to how a lot of autsitic people have restricted interest expertise, it can take a lot of energy.

I do have more thoughts on this, but this about sums it up. Feel free to comment on it at all :3. This is just my personal thoughts on him, as I relate a lot to Ranpo

[dayfaresthenight]

Alex's Bio

Name: Alex Davis Alt Names: "Trollmaster". (LEL Get pwned xDDD)

Special Titles: Puppet, Old Friend. (for being a puppet he is pretty off-handed honestly, kinda weird but I don't mind haha)

Username: Trollmasterlol351

Nicknames: Troll, Alexy.

Chronological Age: 17

Age: 17 (juuust one more year!)

Pronouns: He/him

Sexuality: Bisexual

Gender: Cis Male

Species: Human, "Vessel" (i don't know what a vessel is LOL)

Disorders: Conduct Disorder, Chronic Nightmares. (what??? nightmares? i don't get nightmares!!! xD)

Physical Disabilities: Weakness in Left leg (Recovering!!!)

Religion: None. (I consider myself open-minded, though!) Grade: 12th

Lives in: [REDACTED] (I don't give out my location to strangers on the net xD), Also Daisys House! Languages: English, LEET SPEAK, Various Ciphers. (Marble Hornets taught me well!!!)

Height: 5'12 (I AM 6'0 I AM 6'0) Race: Paleish in Vessel, Cacussian in Real form (NOOO STOP LEAKING MY PERSONAL INFO WHOEVER YOU ARE DX) Ethnicity: English-American Accent: Rather Light and Chipper, although deepens when angry.

Powers: Exceptionally Emotionally Resilient, Respawning (In-Vessel Form, or When in Daisy's house in general), Memory Connections (Considering I'm always with the guy in armor when in here, I can see basically whatever he sees!) Weaknesses: Short Temper when Provoked, His Guilt, Killing his Puppeter. (...haha these people really are weird LOL)

Weapons: The nearest chair he can huck at someone, Linked Swords. (1v1 me on Sword fights on the heights i'd win 100% xD)

Alignment: Chaotic Good (I... Really do try my best, despite everything.)

Text Color: This!!!

Main Hobbies: Gaming, Collecting (pokemon cards!!!)

Favorite Food: PIZZA!!!!!! Favorite Flower: Daisys xD (daisys are pretty cool but in all seriousness I like sunflowers a lot too!!!)

Scent: Blueberry Bodyspray. (Gotta dress to impress!!!)

Handedness: Right-handed

Blood Color: Red

Awareness: VERY Aware [Effect: Positive] (...)

Birthday: January 23rd (THE BIG 18 IS COMING UP!!!!)

Theme:

Playlist:

Fun Facts: I am totally an elite haxer who was taught by 1x1x1x1x1x1x1x11 himself!!!!! Used an exploiting script once and thinks hes a hacker now. Actually pretty good at games, even if he overestimates himself 99% of the time.

Special Interests: Pokemon, Mario, Retro Games, Retro Internet. (RETRO IS THE BEST)

Stims: Fast Talking, Jumping Around.

Stimboard: WIP Moodboard: WIP Fashion Board: WIP Comfort Objects: His Old Gameboy Advance.

Family: Claire Davis (Mom!) Gregory Davis (Dad!)

Friends: DAISY! (Best friend), Courtney, (Close Friend), Jose (Friend), Everyone else in the Friend group (Friends!), Lancia (Friend)

Romance: N/A!!

Enemies: Zandeeee (Maybe? Idk, she doesn't seem to really like me), The NPCs (Most of them are just not really nice to her...), The Cultivator (That mushroom can rot in hell for what he did to my friend.)

Patrons: Ozymandias (He is the one who brought me here. I don't think he has good intentions, but I'm still grateful to him and stuff!)

Pets: Claire (my cat!!! I named it after my mom because she is cool xD)

Brief Personality: Alex is on the surface a very kind person. Energetic, and always pulling various pranks in an attempt to entertain and cheer up his friends. Whenever there's a chance to pull someone's leg, he'll be the first one doing it. Despite that though, Alex never tends to take his pranks too far- and is extremely supportive of his friends when they need it. He struggles a lot with his own emotions, and in general, isn't really good at conveying how he feels.

Alex is fiercely protective of those he cares about, and he will immediately throw himself into the line of fire just to protect them. He is very rebellious, and this often leads him into situations that are severely out of his weight class.

Brief Backstory: Alex is a relatively regular person, at least compared to most in this place. He was born in 1999 to his parents and grew up in a relatively middle-class lifestyle. Although his family had some hard times, he generally grew up well taken care of.

He discovered the internet and Roblox at a young age and immediately fell in love with it. He finally had a group of like-minded people who could tolerate his shenanigans, which made him quite happy. He never really had many friends growing up, so he deeply cherished this friend group.

One person, though, he latched onto more than the others, and that was Daisy. Daisy was always there to come on and play with him and was one of the few people Alex would settle down with and talk about stuff with. Someone, he didn't feel the need to impress or entertain.

Despite that though, he was rather oblivious to Daisy's own troubles, something that eats him up to this day. Maybe if he had just noticed sooner, maybe if he had just told his mom he was worried about her, maybe...

...But the past is the past. Everyone's gone their own ways, and Alex is starting to feel that loneliness that he thought he had escaped start to creep back in. The memories are coming back, and it's starting to haunt him.

Why can't he just forget? Why can't-

Knock knock.

...He opened up the front door...

"Would you like me to bring you to your friend?"

...

Maybe it's never too late to make amends, to... make things right.

[sashaisready]

Chapter Eight - She said stop

Bucky Barnes Mob AU x Femme Reader

You're hard at work in Pepper's Bakery when notorious mob boss James 'Bucky' Barnes darkens your doorway one typical afternoon, and life is never the same again.

Warnings: Drinking, some noncon kissing/groping with minor character

18+ - see Masterlist for full list of warnings

Chapter 9

Series Masterlist

It had been three weeks since the phone call and Bucky had not been back to the bakery since. Neither had any of his men.

You knew you should be relieved. You had been uncomfortable having such close association with a mob boss and being on the periphery of his world, you couldn't get used to being followed or having watchful eyes accompany you everywhere you went. You weren't confident schmoozing in high end restaurants or being someone's arm candy. This was a clean break, it was over.

But...you missed him. You didn't want to admit it to yourself, but you did. You missed looking up as he came in and finding his smile in the doorway. You missed the way he looked at you, gazing at you intently as you spoke to him. You missed the fluttering in your stomach when he joked with you, the jolt of electricity when you passed his card back and your hands grazed. You missed his shocking blue eyes, the way a single glance from them made you feel like a deer in headlights.

You had thought about texting him. But what would you say exactly?

Hey! I know I rejected you but can you come back to the bakery and flirt with me? 🙂

Hi! I'm sorry I said no to the date – I'm a big coward and I'm scared you'll think I'm unsophisticated and boring (and maybe slightly scared of your job? Idk) xx

I know you hate me and I get it but can you just come to my apartment for a few hours and lie on top of me?

You sighed as you adjusted the cake stands and began to wipe down the counter.

"That's it" Wanda snapped.

"What?" you asked.

"You. You haven't stopped moping and sighing since that call. And as you're not going to call him, we are going out tonight. No arguments" she said sternly.

You scoffed. "Out where? I'm not in the mood Wa-"

"I just said, no arguments" she interrupted, folding her arms. "You're going to put on a tiny dress and we're going to get drunk and dance and maybe hook you up with a hottie. This place is closed tomorrow for Pepper to do her audit so we don't need to get up for work - no excuses".

You roll your eyes, knowing full well she'll wear you down eventually so you might as well give in now and save yourself the bother.

"Fine..." you huff. "But you're buying the first round..."

"Good" she sang triumphantly. "Let's get you cheered up..."

*

Later that evening you strolled into a nightclub at Wanda's side. You liked dancing but clubbing wasn't really your scene, still - it felt good to be out and getting your mind off things. You were wearing a blue dress, one of your favourites. Not too revealing but it highlighted your best features and you felt good in it. You wore heels, they were a decent height – but still comfortable and not the ridiculous type you couldn't walk in. Wanda had styled your hair and you'd both gone to town on her impressive make-up collection, carefully accentuating your eyes and lips. You both drew a few admiring stares from men as you strolled in which caused Wanda to shoot you a wink.

You hadn't been here before, it was somewhere Wanda had heard about. It was busy – but not too packed. The atmosphere was lively and buzzing, a mixture of people dancing and splayed over the seating areas enjoying their drinks. There were a lot of handsome guys here, none quite as handsome as Bucky (you couldn't help but think), but still easy on the eye.

There was a VIP section in the far corner, roped off and protected by a couple of burly bouncers. You couldn't see much due to the angle of the seating (you supposed privacy was a VIP perk) but a throng of beautiful girls dressed up to the nines were being ushered inside.

"Drink?" Wanda shouted over the music as she gestured with her hand to her mouth.

You whipped back around to face her, nodding enthusiastically as she drags you over to the bar.

Wanda ordered two fruity cocktails, handing you one as she pulls out her purse to pay. You push her bag away from the bar.

"I'll get these" you said firmly, retrieving one of the hundreds from your own purse.

"I have built myself up something of a nest egg recently..." you wink.

Wanda laughs and takes her drink as you hand the money over to the bartender.

"Can you break this okay? Sorry..."

Working with cash yourself you know it can be a pain when someone gives you a large bill.

"No problem..." he laughs as he takes it from your hand.

You sip your drink eagerly as you lock eyes with him. You suddenly feel a flash of recognition, but can't place him. He had dark hair and glasses, and seemed to look back at you with the same hazy recollection as he handed over your change. Was he a customer? Maybe.

You were just about to ask if he ever went into the bakery when Wanda hurriedly pulled you to the dancefloor. The mystery man was suddenly forgotten as you followed her, stuffing the bills back into your purse.

Unnoticed by you, the barman watched as you disappeared into the crowd and hummed thoughtfully, then craned his neck to peer over at the VIP area.

Wanda was right, this was just what you needed. You were letting loose on the dancefloor, the alcohol sweeping away all of your inhibitions as you moved to the music with your best friend. Your mind began to clear and soon enough you weren't thinking of anything, no Bucky, no work, nothing. Only the song that was playing and the freedom that you felt in that moment.

You and Wanda took turns going to the bar over the next few hours, bringing back all manner of elaborate cocktails and shots as you slowly began to feel intoxicated. All on Bucky's dollar, of course. You weren't a lightweight by any means by hadn't drank like this in a long time. The bartender you recognised had been replaced with another, and you'd already forgotten his face as you enjoyed your night.

After some more dancing Wanda mouthed that she needed the bathroom and you nodded, asking if she wanted company. Just as you asked her - a cute blond guy appeared next to you, grinning and dancing close. He had a sweet smile, very all-American and clean cut. You smiled back at him.

Wanda's eyes flitted between you and the blond, then grinned and shook her head at you – implying she was fine to go by herself. She gave you a knowing look and shot off to the Ladies, leaving you alone with him.

The music was loud so he leaned over and spoke into your ear.

"You wanna dance?" he asked.

You turned to face him and nodded enthusiastically, he smiled and took your hand – and the two of you moved to the music for a few songs. Occasionally he gave you a little spin or dipped you, which made you giggle. His hand felt nice in yours and you allowed yourself to get swept up in the warmth of him, powered by the booze in your veins.

"I'm John, by the way. John Walker." he said into your ear.

You smiled, leaning to him and telling him your name.

"I think you're very pretty" he shouted over the music, just as the end of the song dropped out, meaning his voice carried loudly across the dancefloor. A few fellow clubbers turned to look at him, and you cackled as he hid his face in mock embarrassment.

"Thank-you" you replied bashfully.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked.

You nodded – but then realised you hadn't seen Wanda in a while. You surveyed the room for her as John went ahead of you to the bar.

You soon saw her curled up on a sofa with Vis, who must've shown up at some point while you were dancing. They were making out heavily as usual and you rolled your eyes, smiling. Wanda caught your eye and grinned at you, pointing at John and giving you a thumbs up. You rolled your eyes again, miming 'get a room' as Vis saw you and gave you a wave.

You chuckled at your friends' antics as you got to the bar. John had ordered you a gin and tonic and moved it in front of you as he paid. You furrowed your brows slightly, he hadn't asked what you wanted and you didn't really like gin much. You weren't a big fan of people making decisions for you without checking. Still, you didn't want to be rude so accepted it – giving him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, you were a bit tipsy and wanted to go with the flow.

John smiled at you as you sipped the drink. You smiled back, feeling a bit shy and unsure of what to say. The evening's beverages had gone to your head a bit, making you feel a bit unsteady on your feet.

"I meant what I said" he shouted over the music, leaning into you. His breath was hot on your ear and you realised he was slurring slightly. "You're really pretty".

You blush, smiling up at him. "Thanks, that's sweet of you".

Without warning he pins you against the wall of the club, shoving his tongue into your mouth and harshly groping your breast with his hand. The kiss is rough and sloppy, he tastes like stale beer. He misses your mouth initially so you end up with his saliva spotted across your cheek.

You gasp and roughly push him off of you.

"Hey! Stop, John!" you shout angrily, wiping your mouth and adjusting your bra where he had felt you up.

He rolls his eyes and moves in again. You move your head to face him and glare daggers at him.

"I said stop". 

He scoffs. "C'mon don't play hard to get, honey. You've been rubbing up against me on the dancefloor and you let me buy you a drink. We both want this".

Your jaw clenches as you feel your rage simmering.

"We were just dancing, I didn't sign a contract to do anything else. And I don't even like gin" you scold.

He laughs mockingly at you. "All girls like gin..."

You raise your shoulders in disbelief. The worst part was you had thought he was cute and probably would've made out with him eventually. But not like this. And not now he's behaved this way.

You roll your eyes and go to move away from him but he pushes your shoulder hard against the wall and tries to continue the kiss. You hit him, hard. The back of your hand strikes his cheek with a loud 'thwack!'. The sound rings out even over the loud music and he cries out, staring at you in disbelief.

"I said stop..." you repeat defiantly.

His eyes harden, he glares at you with fury and his face contorts into an ugly grimace. You feel your breath hitch as he bares his teeth.

"You little..."

But he halts as a gloved hand comes down hard on his shoulder and yanks him away. John is suddenly jerked backwards.

"She said stop..." warns a low voice.

"Who the fuck asked you-" John yells as he turns to face whoever dared touch him.

Both yours and John's faces fall as you realise who it is, but for slightly different reasons.

Bucky. 

[botanikos]

before i send this it isnt hate but criticism

so your stolas is good but its kinda annoying that you think your the best, tbh its like i'm reading the same 50 things i read on other stolases so its just all repetitive and ig itd be nice to see something different

also its good to have confidence but idk. you give off vibes that you think your THE stolas and better then other stolases and like you think your the character??? idk its offputting bc i wanted to follow and write with you but you just give off uppity vibes and its weird you think your stolas/THE stolas

your writing is good, dont get me wrong but maybe try to not be so uppity and bragging abt it/being stolas :/

I debated on whether or not to address this at all, but since it's a criticism and not hate-mail as specified, here we are. I'll be quite honest, I was not expecting something like this to come to me anytime soon.

If the impression I give is that I am The Stolas, I apologize. This is NOT the intention. That being said, I must politely disagree to some extent with this criticism. My friend, I am new to this fandom. Not role-playing or the community itself in general, but Stolas is a new character for me, and the fandom is still fresh (for me). I have actively AVOIDED interacting and following people without first being followed due to my anxiety. Even though I have promised myself that this would be (and is) just for fun.

I will say my portrayal is good. I'll even say great. But that does NOT make me better than anyone else, and it never will. I am an avid believer in diversity, variety, and kindness. To think there is someone here, watching my blog, thinking I view myself so highly is alarming. Even the people I have become mutuals with, I am still refusing to reach out to just yet, as I work on my writing for Stolas and through my own doubts. I am not Stolas. I am not the Stolas. I am Jude, an avid writer, enjoyer of media, and someone who has found a connection with Stolas. I am... Just a person here to have fun.

I won't say I'm a perfect person, I am very flawed! I make a lot of mistakes! But I STRIVE to provide a safe, inviting, and friendly space for people, be it for interactions or just as a potential friendship.

If this is going to be a continuous problem, I will have to find a means to continue writing without further involvement. For now, I will be cautious and take your words to heart (to some extent). ♡

I am alarmed and hurt that this message has found my inbox. I will be reconsidering my posting and approaches.

I sincerely apologize if I have made anyone feel as though I am unapproachable.