#like idk actually use his social media to make a profile people can like?

[releaseholiday]

[gayferrari]

we as a community need to get more rpf-y about the fact that charles' girlfriend's name is alex

I see your vision. However EYE am more interested in the fact that in a certain light she looks like she and Carlos could be related.

Long answer: this ask sent me down a bit of a thought spiral about how F1 fandom in general deals with IRL significant others, as opposed to other sports RPF fandoms I've lurked in, so you get an actual essay, sorry.

I think it's interesting how F1 fic writers tend to just ignore irl partners, way more than other sports fandoms. You know how the tag “AU: no girlfriend / no wives” gets A Lot of mileage elsewhere? In F1 it's hardly ever used, because wags are simply excluded by default. The only ships that sometimes remember partners exist (include them or deliberately write around them) are ships involving guys like Seb or Nico whose relationships are a big part of their lives and are probably harder to just push to the side.

By contrast, the younger crop of drivers have a big social media presence that's almost impossible to ignore BUT does not include their actual irl partners because it's all work mandated PR, so these men's F1 personas make it very easy to paint them as single. Even if their broader public personas (outside of F1) are very high profile and often includes very public relationships and friendships — it's not like they keep their relationships lowkey, you know? But people just choose not to dig into those layers of lore, probably simply because the stuff we get through team PR videos and grill the grid already gives us a lot to work with.

IDK, I just find it fascinating! I bet many people don't even notice, but TO ME it's kinda glaring how often everyone in fic is single because imo it's such a fundamental component of the elite athlete lifestyle how these guys always have someone to come home to (and do some emotional labour for them). It doesn't have to be their actual irl girlfriends — many people draw the RPF line at including semi-famous partners, and that's a totally understandable stance — but there aren't even that many OC girlfriends. It is something that stands out to me compared to, idk, hockey RPF to make the most obvious comparison.

HAVING SAID ALL THAT. Yeah, I'd actually be very interested in more fics where Charles has a girlfriend. Again, it doesn't have to be a fictional version of his actual rl girlfriend, it can just be an OC with a different name. BUT, Charles's whole serial monogamy thing is actually a really big part of his personality that I think fandom misses out on, because HE is the one who's assigned the role of girlfriend in most ships he's involved in. You know, the omegafication of Charles... I get why it's a popular trend, I've written it myself and enjoy reading it. But I think there are interesting things to be done, characterisation wise, drawing on the fact that irl he's very much A Dude, and also a serious relationship kinda guy, and a very basic kinda straight guy who yearns for three children by age 35. Like... I think taking THAT kind of man and giving him a sexuality crisis is an avenue full of potential that the fandom could explore more.

tldr: I fully respect people's decision NOT to engage with significant others in RPF but also I think it has potential if you're inclined to go that way! so yea I agree RPF fandom could and should do more with Charles having a girlfriend even if people choose not to RPF *this* specific girlfriend.

[venaue]

- Social Media (in my TWST AU) -

this is rly short cz im procrastinating finishing my oc profiles rn... oops edit after i finished: wow i lied MY BAD i did not anticipate this... ahahahaha...

any notes (do i call it that?) would mean the world even a like will make me very happy (pls im desperate.... i did not do all this yapping for nothing... /lh /nsrs) ok first section :sparkles: Magicam :sparkles:

in my au i sorta think of magicam like insta (obviously) except there's like two main sections obviously there's the insta bit which is just . insta . yk photo based and shit

then there's also a section that's essentially just twitter like as in text based posts and twitter type shenanigans and stuff

(think of it like threads but if people actually used threads as much as they used instagram and it was like integrated into the instagram experience and culture and stuff)

therefore insta-type posts and twitter-type posts can exist simultaneously and everyone wins (that's why everyone only talks abt magicam cuz its got EVERYTHING in one) wow!!!!!!!!! ok next section... a twst equivalent of discord... it doesn't have a name idk whether to keep it as discord or not... imagine i call it magicord... /hj ok so i just came up with this idea as im writing this so we're winging it

but essentially its like a main chat system integrated into most games where essentially you login to all games through this account and your username stays the same

it also integrates into in game chat systems and shit

but it also works like discord as its own platform and you can make servers and group chats and shit too

if you add someone in a game it goes straight to their account so like you don't have separate accounts its just all one :3

that's why gloomurai and muscle_red are always the same yk like ur friends list instantly transfers no matter what game u play handy right :333 last section!!!! [ how this is relevant in my au !! ]

im so so so very sorry theres no context for any of the oc stuff i swear ill get the profiles done soon...

ok this is purely for me to yap about my ocs and canon rn so uh yea

idia (gloomurai) lilia (muscle_red) yuuto (infinitelygrey)* & mace (chainflailed) have a group chat and a server and are usually active in them almost every day. they often play games together , idia and mace carry, lilia has fun (though does his part - competitive ass), and yuuto... yuutos trying his best... he'll bite u if u tell him he's doing worse than the rest of them though

yuuto & kiyuu share a magicam page with ramshackle dorm branding n shit (@/snowyruins)**, and they both have a sign off (yuutos is yu & kiyuu's is ki) kiyuu does most of the posts, whether its of himself, or ramshackle's 'cleaning progress' or him exploring outside of their dorm yuuto pitches in once in a blue moon to post dumb memes and/or reply in the middle of kiyuu's conversations to make fun of people ;p or alternatively just a really shitty doodle of someone to embarrass them aros has a magicam account that's decently famous because of his family, though he rarely uses it except to promote his families business yuuto posts his art under a magicam acc also called @/infinitelygrey (he has to resist the urge to draw his friends schoolmates since its anon) *this is a reference... if u get it ill marry you (/j ill just be very happy) **this one i can actually explain right since since yu + ki = yuki and yuki = snow and ramshackle means like 'state of disrepair' so its basically like ruins right right right right??! ok thats all i can think of rn.... i did way too much yapping holy shit i can feel my braincells melting... stay tuned for another one of these regarding a different topic sometime soon??? i have too much brainrot >;3 im actually kinda rly nervous to post this idk why but yolo ig...

[cpopjukebox]

Hi! Just wanted to say thank you for this blog. I'm a Chinese American daughter of immigrants, and I've had a really hard time connecting with my cultural roots, partially because my only way of looking for recommendations and whatnot for Chinese media is through my parents... So there's not much that I find that's Chinese that I actually like. And when I try to look up stuff on the internet usually it's Japanese or Korean stuff that's recommended to me, since media-wise anime and kpop have much more international reach. So it was really exciting to me to find a collection of chinese music that's more recent and thus more likely to be to my taste than to my parents'. Idk if you're Chinese or just someone who's a fan of Chinese music, but either way I just wanted to say thank you.

Hi Anon!,

Ahh thank you for sending this - I know what you mean as I found it pretty difficult at first too, it's hard to know where to start. Especially as I'm not Chinese but I'm learning the language so I wanted to listen to some songs to help me improve. This is how I generally find new songs:

Douyin/weibo/xiaohongshu/bilibili (music being used in social media videos).

Also douyin has a top music tracks chart in the app.

Cdrama soundtracks my beloved! 🫶

Make a playlist on spotify (or equvalent) and look at the recommended songs.

Look at artist profile on spotify and check the 'people also listen to' section.

Useful search terms on spotify/youtube etc - cpop, mandopop, cdrama, gufeng, gangtai, plus different dialects.

Actually now I'm trying to find older songs out of curiosity but struggling XD.

I hope you can have an easier time connecting with your cultural roots too. I follow @dmdiaspora and I think they may have a discord group as they mention a server in the pinned post. If you're a danmei fan you might find a group of people with similar experiences there.

Thanks so much for the ask!

(∩^o^)⊃━☆

[chuuyasporkie]

Omg you replied back :0 I thought you are inactive here :(

Hi I'm anon, your ao3 fan hehe but I'm shy...for now 👉🏻👈🏻. For now means I don't have the courage to leave comments under your works yet. Yeah, I'm a silent reader but usually this shyness is only during my early journey of reading any author's works that I just found. But!!!!! I will leave comments one day bc I will!!! Like I always did for all the authors before. But for now, I want to say it here. I LOVE YOUR AO3 WORKS SO MUCH OH GOD 😭😭😭😭 You've such a way with your words I really enjoyed my reading and your stories on SKK. oh god the first time I finished reading that one long SKK fic, I immediately subscribed you bc I want to read ALL your works bc I think, whatever idea you write, I'll enjoy them nonetheless! Right now I'm reading your latest fic abt how Chuuya will redo his actions now that he's thrown into the past. I'm so looking forward for more!! Can't wait to read and explore everything >,< It will take a lot of time I know but I will wait patiently. Focus on your irl okay! Just never give up on any idea on your SKK fics bc pls remember that there will be someone else waiting and adore every brilliant thoughts you pour on your writings even if that someone is just only one person!!! (yeah that one person is ME, I'M ONE OF YOUR DEDICATED FANS 😭)

Oh my god I'm blabbering too much! Anyways, to answer your question, if you have a bit of free time to consume your time by interacting with any SKK or BSD fans through an interactive social media, I recommend you to create an account. I asked this bc some writers prefer to tell their schedules on their works or share their work processes or promote their fics through twitter. I checked your ao3 profile and saw you shared your Tumblr account and I felt relieved bc at least you provided something for me to reach you. I'm not active at all here but at least I can interact with you through this ask. Bc idk why, whenever I find any good writers, I feel the urge to stay connected and soon, after I overcome my temporary-introvert-self, I wanted to connect with them through a social media account, preferably on twitter bc I'm quite active there. But no pressure to you though! I don't want to stress or force you, I just shared my opinion so if you think it's time to create a twitter account, do tell me through your author's note in fics okay!

alright. alrightalrightalright. so. you basically made me completely insane by sending me this and i want you to take responsibility for this RIGHT NOW BY COMING HERE AND LETTING ME KISS YOU A BIG FAT FOREHEAD KISS. NON-NEGOTIABLE.

i love you. i love you, i love you, i love you. i respect your wish to be anonymous, and to be shy (i’m plenty shy myself, so hey, it’s all good) but the fact that you felt the need to express your love for my fics ANYWAYS? DESPITE THAT? that’s a love language. that’s actually detrimental to my already off-the-charts delusion, and all i can do is sit behind my useless screen, smile extremely big like some clown, and say thank you. thank you for loving my work, thank you for giving it so much affection, and thank you for the motivation and support that readers like you unknowingly give me.

i would like to go on a small tangent⸺when i was writing I’DAY(WMHAMN), which was my first work ever, i was in a bad place mentally, (and perhaps that’s why i did the angst so well, ahem 😭) and it took a toll on me to continue writing chapters because at one point i HATED that fic, but it was the readers consistently telling me how much they loved it and how much they’re looking forward to the next chapter that really made it possible for me to finish it. you readers should NEVER underestimate your power, because your feedback is sometimes the only thing that keeps us going, so. simply. thank you. thank you SO INCREDIBLY MUCH, for speaking out and giving me another reason to keep writing, and for simply MAKING ME DAY, and i’m going to keep writing just for people like you, and i’m going to give it the best i have so you can keep loving it! 🤍

i am just a little guy writing fics and i am completely mundane and sort of a loser bc we all have a little bit of loserim in us if we’re ao3 users, but i will keep this message in my heart for years to come. know that you’re loved, know that you’re remembered, know that you absolutely made me crazy with this.

and since you’ve asked so politely, i’ll look into making a twt account. i don’t think i’ll be very active, but i don’t see the harm in making one anyway! promise i’ll let you guys know once i make one 🥰

HERE’S MR. CAT GIVING YOU A FLOWER FROM MY SIDE! ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU, MY BELOVED <3 💕💖💗💞🥰

p.s.⸺ don’t hesitate to give me a name (ANY name) so i can dedicate a chapter to you 💌 i love doing that for my readers so. do so at once if you can! much love, always, always, always.

[bonjeacon-peakdeak]

So, instead of DMing, I'm gonna personally write in this reblog in case anyone else might've been concerned about Andrew's opinions on Sam's art "concerns". She only ever mentioned other artists just because she had gotten the opinions of other people first before dumping the question on Andrew, it was a nice little detail to hide behind. But really she was selfishly concerned with her own piece, and just particularly didn't like Red's (badassassassin) Raphiera art being on streamily. Like, HATED it. Wouldn't shut up in DMs and in public about her disdain for the art. A lot of it was a mixture of my own opinions on Red, since me and Sam were close at the time, but that didn't mean I was ever going to use that as an excuse to contact Andrew to get rid of it? It's a.. pattern with her. It was like this with the social media manager incident, and this streamily incident. She doesn't like something, gathers the opinions of others, and then tries to approach with these opinions thinking it's enough to get her way.

Me, personally, I just didn't like the ship, and just thought Raphlep art would've been a better ship to advertise. And that I also just have a lot of criticisms about Red's connections (that they are aware I have this opinion on and its geniuenly not a big deal lol) so like, I'll live? I moved on because you can just have an opinion and continuing to go about your day? But she just HAS to do something about it. The fact she had the audacity to use "lack of advertisement" as an excuse to scream about her own jealousy on her print not being posted "enough" and how badly she'd wanted this print removed- I couldn't take her side at all hfhfhf

Ok uh, the point of me reblogging- just some insight on how Andrew responded. Because these DMs aren't edited, they come straight from Sam (she gave them to me expecting me to be on her side) I deliberately asked for none of Andrew's replies to be shown as he prefers to not have DMs shown. So, I'll respect that, while summarizing his response, because the "goodbye" wasn't his actual response to all that she wrote LOL

To sum it up, he described to not take things so personal, because the advertising he did of the art is just whatever streamily instructed him to do. And I can personally attest to that, as I have notifications on for his profile, so I know when he posts. He's posted for each print at least once or twice, mostly in his story. He's just some guy, he ain't a social media manager, and even though he has one, like he said, he's just doing what streamily instructs him to do. He was very respectful and apologetic to Sam for feeling the way she did, but he respectfully asked to no longer continue the topic because she was (obv) overstepping a boundary. And she is! She has no right to be dictating what he should post. He's a very intelligent man, and so are us bg3 fans- we can tell the difference between giving someone a criticism vs someone using emotional manipulation to try to get something done. The fact she began to talk worse to him after his initial plea to leave the topic alone, he STILL kept decorum, while still voicing to her that she is continuing to break a boundary he set. So, convo died off there, as yall can see.

Sam is so adamant on wanting ALL the Dms to be shown because I toooootally edited them/sarcasm, but geniuenly I'm glad Andrew doesn't want DMs shown because reading these two reply to each other was so upsetting. Idk how someone can speak so rudely- Andrew was giving her more than one chance to just drop it.

So, yeah, I promise yall, Andrew doesn't hate artists or anything. This wasn't exactly a rumor, but prior to me n my friends pushing Sam and her circle off their platforms for racism and creepiness, some people who she def reached out to had raised concerns to me about "Andrew being weird about artists" and such. He ain't. He LOVES art, he LOVES the bg3 artists, he always makes sure to credit artists and ask permission before using art for anything. And, I guess to the detriment of Sam, he isn't going to have a favorite artist. Or, well, it wasn't her at least LOL.

Ok it's 5am, back to night-owling (sorry if things don't make sense, I can't spell and I just word vomit a lot)

TLDR; Andrew responded to her concerns: he was only doing what Streamily asked him to do, and he was sorry that he hurt her from doing... nothing wrong, but was polite about her concerns nonetheless. Was STILL polite even as she grew more aggressive.

Your daily reminder that no matter how much you love a voice actors work. They. Are. Not. Your. Friends.

They do not owe you Jack shit!

Where is this coming from? Another parasocial freak came out of the woodwork and began harassing Andrew Wincott. Carrying on about his social media manager and him sharing artwork on his social media of a Raphael & Jaheira ship art that was honestly beautifully done. Me personally I ship jaheira with minthara but I digress.

To the person who did this. And I know for a fact you’ll see this.

You, and other delusional fuckheads who behave like you are the reason why artists distance themselves from fandoms.

Andrew loves interacting with the fan base, as do all the other VAs. But freaks like you often frighten them away and ruin it for everybody but especially the actor themselves. They become uncomfortable, afraid, irritated and remove themselves from the space.

Leave him alone. In fact, leave any and every Va alone. He is not your friend, he will never love you romantically and no doubt your behaviours left a foul taste in his mouth.

He is a human being. Not an object of your deluded fantasies.

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Social media

Which social media platforms I think the Vikings (and a few Saxons) would use most in modern times.

Ragnar

tiktok

takes ‘dilf’ as a compliment

ubbe begs him to stop

the one time aslaug and lagertha checked his fyp, they were instantly traumatized

uses tiktok as a coping mechanism

Bjorn

Tinder

my man is just constantly swiping right

this has gotten hm into trouble before

no, Bjorn, changing your gender to female so you can bait astrid lesbians is not okay

Ubbe

facebook

probably in a group with a bunch of moms

regularly comments on lagertha’s posts

actually posts some good advice

tries to keep his dignity when his facebook friends find out about ragnar’s tiktok

Hvitserk

snapchat

uses it as a dating app

honestly, his snapscore is probably higher than yours

he needs to keep track of his friends, nights out and hook-ups somehow

Sigurd

spotify

this guy has taste

too many playlists though

one may be titled ‘fuck off ivar’

stalks everyone’s spotify

Ivar

tumblr, and you can’t change my mind

king of shitposting

has about a thousand sideblogs

all of them are successful

kind of problematic

but only bc he’s right

everything is sarcastic

Gyda

pinterest

has the best boards

occasionally gets one of ivar’s tumblr posts on her recommended, saves them as support

has a cottagecore board

may start to look at ao3 more when she gets older

Lagertha

facebook

posts bad pictures of her children

bjorn begs her to stop

she makes an alter-ego tinder profile of bjorn with her photos

a lot of people recognize him

Astrid

everything

gets herself in trouble almost every day

she’s still a queen though

mostly instagram, and has a fairly nice feed too

gets doxxed though

Aslaug

twitter

she’s the queen of twitter, tbh

tweets about ivar or harbard mostly

will expose your tea

Athelstan

tumblr

this man IS the science side of tumblr

only has one blog

that should be citable in doctor’s thesis

rarely shitposts

Floki

reddit

didn’t use any social media but then he found out about r/christianity

the biggest troll

has at least 45 banned accounts by now

he can’t help it

starts an instagram dedicated to helga

Helga

also pinterest

has a board for recipes and stuff

the sweetest person, as always; posts the best recipes

adores gyda’s boards

might use Life360 for some time, but gives up on it very quickly

Harald

Tinder, Bumble,...

he tries

doesn’t know how to text without being creepy

eventually swallows his pride and goes to bjorn

things go uphill from there

Halfdan

discord

idk, just feeling it

likes to talk to his friends and tries to convince bjorn to try it

texts a minor by accident (nothing sexual though!)

finds out it’s one of Rollo’s kids

they conspire against Rollo together

Rollo

Life360

but like, passively

Gisla told him to install it bc he has no regard for his own safety

complains that his own children don’t even use Life360

“well, your children don’t get themselves waterboarded by their relatives on a regular basis”

this settles it

got banned from twitter at some point

Judith

Life360

not for Alfred, he’s her most responsible child

but for ecbert

sometimes she’ll wake up in the middle of the night with the knowledge that ecbert is doing something illegal

checks Life360

ecbert is in another country by that time

poor her

talks about her struggles with gisla

Ecbert

twitter

tweets about everything

also insults his lords (co-workers?)

no shame

gets cancelled at least once a month

Alfred

also Life360

also for Ecbert

but sometimes, he’ll be on Ivar’s tumblr, commenting something sarcastic on every post he can find

[lo-frequency]

Bakusquad + Todoroki Pet Headcanons!

Just some hc’s of what pets I think the boys would have and how they’d treat them. This is definitely a crack post 💀

Bakugou

-A bulldog, named Killer. Killer the Great Explosion Murder Dog to be exact.

-He’s an all white bulldog with a little spike collar around his neck. The alternative is a collar with a fake grenade attached, usually used when Bakugou takes him out in public.

-Killer also has a harness with the little flare attachments on each side like on Bakugou’s mask.

-Despite his name (and what Bakugou wants you to believe), Killer is as sweet as they come. “C’mere, Killer!” Bakugou calls him, smacking his leg and you’re expecting this absolute menace to come charging down the hall. Instead, Killer’s stocky self comes trotting out of Bakugou’s room with his tongue hanging out of his mouth and his lil’ tail nub wagging.

-Bakugou’s like “I’ve been training him to be an attack dog” and Killer only runs like a few feet from the house before stopping, opting to lay down and roll over for a belly rub.

-Don’t be fooled by all his tough talk, Bakugou most certainly spoils Killer, that’s exactly why he’s so lazy. His days consist of begging for treats and pretending not to understand Bakugou’s instructions. Not to mention that he has a big, memory foam dog bed, gets fed real food, and Katsuki takes him for 2 walks a day, everyday.

-Pats him roughly, but Killer is one of those dogs who likes slaps on the butt so he doesn’t mind lol. They play rough too, and at any given time Bakugou can be found rolling around the floor, play wrestling with Killer.

-Imagine if he posted tiktoks of Killer and people started trolling him like “Killer is slow, my dog can run faster than him” “Killer is overweight” “He can’t even run down the street”

-Bakugou truly believes Killer can do everything he says about him, and gets offended if you even insinuate otherwise. He would get mad at all the haters in the comments, clapping back at them like “I know you’re not talking with that lil’ rat dog in your profile pic” and he’d challenge them to races in the local dog parks so he can defend Killer’s reputation 💀. Well, one person actually accepted so now Bakugou has to train Killer for his first race.

-And then when he posts videos of him and Killer exercising, people are like “You’re pushing him too hard” “Poor Killer” “Stop forcing him to exercise” He just can’t win 🤷🏾‍♀️.

-Denki comes over and exposes him like “Killer’s been training alright, training his jaws” while filming Bakugou passing Killer food under the table.

-“Where’s Killer?” “He’s training in the pool right now.” “In the pool? Dude, you know bulldogs can’t swim, right?” “Well my Killer swims all the time!” And his friends rush to his backyard to see Killer lazily paddling around Bakugou’s pool with a floaty fitted on his little body lol.

-Killer loves him some Katsuki. He would be so clingy with him, following him everywhere he goes in the house, to the point where Bakugou has almost tripped over Killer several times. He has to close the door or put a baby gate up so he won’t interrupt him and all you hear in the background is Killer howling at the door.

-Killer fan cams, lmaoo

-Katsuki goes live and all people are asking about is Killer, and all the donations are “Killer’s Treat Fund” “Feed Killer on Camera” “Give him a belly rub”

-Bakugou never should’ve showed Killer on social media, it’s his account now 💀

Todoroki

-I can see Shoto with beta fish, but he wouldn’t know that you can’t put two males in the same tank.

-So one day, he comes home from work and sees that one of his fish is,,,not alive.

-Shoto quickly puts two and two together after seeing that the other beta fish is a little injured too, and he is absolutely horrified.

-After he cleans up the mess, he just looks at the survivor fish. Shoto can’t help but feel contempt toward him. He’s a murderer, he killed his other fish.

-From then on, Shoto does not like the survivor fish. He still takes care of him, but out of duty as his owner, only 😒.

-People on social media ask him what his fish’s name is. “He doesn’t have a name.”

-And then he makes a post like “Some of you have asked me why my fish doesn’t have a name. It’s because I don’t like him. He’s a murderer.” (Y’all, please 💀)

-People start calling him Killer Fish and Bakugou comments that there can only be one Killer, and that’s his dog.

Kirishima

-A turtle. He’d have one of those turtles with the raised horns/spikes on its shell and his name would be Tank.

-So Kiri thinks Tank the Turtle is the toughest little dude around, and often posts videos of him swimming or walking around outside.

-He’s like “You know, I think he’s faster than most turtles.” “How do you know that?” He shrugs, watching Tank with a grin “I can just tell, I mean look at him, he’s going!” And Tank is chugging along the ground at a good .002 mph.

-He’d have Tank on his back as he does push ups or on his chest as he lifts weights. “What number are we on Tank? 100? Alright, 100 more to go!”

-Kiri would make videos of Tank doing tricks, like knocking down a wall of tiny styrofoam bricks or climbing over a little ramp he made. He’s cheering for him the whole time, and he gets a treat after. “That was so manly, Tank!! Good boy!”

-Yes, a turtle can be manly too.

Denki

-A guinea pig, mostly blonde except a little black mark on her head, just like Denki. And you guessed it…he named her Pikachu.

-Denki is enamored with her for the first couple days, carrying her everywhere with him and constantly posting her on his social media. He couldn’t wait to get home from work so he could play with her and feed her little bits of lettuce.

-She seems to adore him too, hardly moving when he pets her so she can maximize his attention as much as possible, and jumping on his lap whenever he takes her out of the cage.

-He holds her up to the camera like “What can I say? The ladies love me. Isn’t that right, Pikachu?”

-She’s so cute that he doesn’t question how her cage seems to pop open by itself sometimes, or how she sometimes nios at his fingers if he holds her for too long.

-The unfortunate truth is that Pikachu cannot stand Denki 💀. Idk what he did, maybe it’s the way he smells, maybe it’s his voice, idk, but she is trying her best to stay away from him.

-The cage doesn’t pop open by itself, Pikachu has figured out how to escape, so now Denki regularly comes home to an empty cage and he has to track her down to put her back.

-“Day 3 of missing Pikachu. This is what come home to everyday, guys” and he flips the camera to show bits of food and guinea pig droppings scattered all over the place. Her little squeaks haunt him at night, but he knows he won’t be able to find her.

-He has such a hard time finding her, and he swears she teases him by squeaking nearby, then running somewhere he can’t get her.

-He’s on live and people try to give him advice but none of it works. Pikachu rushes past the screen behind him and they tell him to look. Denki abandons his live to chase after Pikachu and you just hear crashing and yelling in the background.

-When he comes back, he’s in his ‘fried’ mode and people are like wtf happened 💀

-He managed to put her back in the cage, but he had to end the live early.

(Can y’all imagine being jealous of a guinea pig? 😔) Thanks for tuning in! :)

[ratmonky]

Out of Body Experience

Word Count: 4.9K

Warnings: semi-public

AO3 Link

[You matched with Maru!]

[Send Maru a message!]

Maru: Hey.

(username): hiii!!

Maru: You look cute in your pictures on your profile.

(username): omg you think so?? i’m really happy!! i thought you had a rlly cool bio,,, i guess i did the right choice to like your bio

Maru: Thanks. I was surprised to get a notification that we matched. You’re way out of my league.

(username): don’t say that maruuu~ i bet you look handsome irl

Maru: I don’t.

(username): hmm, wanna prove it?? >.<

Maru: I don’t know.

(username): don’t be shy!! ur bio said you lived in kyoto, wanna meet up this saturday?

Maru: You’ll be disappointed.

(username): i promise i won’t!!! i like meeting new ppl!!! besides if we didn’t click we can still be friends?? i feel like you and i will be close no matter what!!

Maru: Are you sure? We just met.

(username): yep!!! come ooooonnnnn it’ll be fun to hang out!!

Maru: Fine.

(username): yay!!! let’s meet in front of the train station!! ahh i’m so excitedddd i can’t waittt TwT

Maru: Me too.

(username): <3

[Maru: <3………….. (send)]

Kokichi paused and deleted the message.

Maru: See you.

~~~

Kokichi’s first impression of you was that you were naive and careless. You wanted to meet up with him without any hesitation, what if he was someone who could harm you?

He stared at his screen and at your pictures.

You were gorgeous, he had never seen someone as pretty as you. On top of all that you wanted to meet him.

It made him feel special, wanted even.

~~~

When a notification sound filled his ears, Kokichi immediately checked if it was from you.

(username): maruuuuu!!!! i missed u  ))):

He stared at the message and read it three times but didn’t quite understand why you would miss him.

Maru: What?

(username): i thought you’d text me but u didn’t,,, i couldn’t sleep cuz i was thinking about u

Maru: I didn’t think you wanted me to text you.

(username): )):

Maru: ?

(username): )))):

Maru: (:

(username): (((((:

Maru: You’re childish aren’t you?

(username): what about it q;

Maru: Nothing. How old are you anyway?

(username): old enough to drinkkkk!!!

Maru: Me too. Which Jujutsu college are you going to?

(username): ohh, hehe… i dropped out cuz it wasn’t my thing

Maru: That’s irresponsible. Did you drop because you couldn’t keep up with your curse classes or was it for some other reason?

(username): maruuuu stop talking about jujutsu with meee!!!

Maru: Then what should we talk about?

(username): about our date >.<

Maru: Date?

(username): did u forget already )):

Maru: Forget what?

(username): our date on saturday )):

Maru: That’s a date?

(username): TwT ur making me sad maru

Maru: I don’t understand it, we just said we’d meet up.

(username): this is a dating website for ppl like us ///:

Maru: You want to date me?

(username): idk anymore,,, seems like ur a heartbreaker and i feel like u don’t feel a connection between us as i do

Maru: Wait! Don’t jump to conclusions all by yourself! You don’t even know what I look like, how can you be so sure that you want to date me?

(username): i mean,,, we matched for a reason,,, i liked ur bio and wanted to get to know u better is that bad??

Maru: No. No, it isn’t. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm new to this sort of stuff.

(username): apology accepted!!!! ahhhh ur so cute,,, i can’t wait to meet u

Maru: Same here.

~~~

His classmates knew something was up. Robotic demeanor was gone and instead, it was actually a part of himself as Kokichi that was showing through.

“Mechamaru looks happy nowadays,” Kamo noted.

“It’s relieving that he shows us a softer side of himself,” Miwa added. “Makes me feel happy for him.”

“I wonder what caused him to become this way.” Kamo was talking to himself but Todo took it upon himself to answer.

“He has finally found himself a Takada-chan.” Todo grinned. “Reminds me, I never asked him what his type of woman is.”

There was a moment of silence before Todo walked out into the campus garden to make his way towards Mechamaru.

Mechamaru didn’t notice his presence as he was watering the flowers.

“Yo.”

“Todo. Did you need something?”

“What’s your type of woman?”

Caught off guard, Mechamaru dropped the watering can. “I… I think someone who’s kind and cheerful.” Someone who’s submissive.

“Like I guessed.” Todo held his chin between the knuckle of his forefinger and thumb as he hummed thoughtfully. “You’re as lifeless as your puppet.”

~~~

What did that suppose to mean?

Kokichi was just telling the truth.

Right?

~~~

Days passed until Friday came.

Kokichi talked to you almost every day and whenever he could. He seemed to enjoy your company more than he thought he would when the two of you first matched.

He woke up to your messages and went to sleep only after he texted you goodnight.

Today, he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his ribcage, he could hear his own pulse when it got too quiet and it was dead silent in his hideout… as always.

All he could think about was your date tomorrow. He had made sure to dress up Mechamaru nicely for the occasion and checked the weather report thrice so the date wouldn’t be ruined because of anything out of his control.

There was still something that made him extremely anxious. What if you didn’t like him? What if everything went terribly and you blocked his number?

He needed something to distract him from these negative thoughts.

Maru: Hey.

(username): maruuuu!!!! what r u doin??

Maru: Going to sleep soon, I think.

(username): without me (;

Maru: Never.

(username): i’m blushing

Maru: How are you?

(username): fine, i'm doing skincare tonight to get ready for our date!!

Maru: About that...

(username): ....

(username): are you going to cancel our date?

Maru: No! I’m just anxious about it.

(username): good cuz i’d block u

Maru: I don’t think you would.

(username): you don’t know me

Maru: Because you never told me about yourself.

(username): ^-^; haha yeah,,, so,,, what would you like to know?

Maru: Everything.

Without even noticing the passing time, Kokichi chatted with you until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore.

He learned everything about you. From the earliest memory, you could recall about your first interaction with a cursed spirit to your latest obsession with an online game about cute animals.

His eyelids were getting heavier, he texted you goodnight and how he was excited to meet you tomorrow.

When he closed his eyes, this time he managed to fall asleep.

~~~

You pressed your phone to your chest and kicked at your sheets. The excitement was eating you up, the butterflies in your stomach wouldn’t calm down either. All because of someone you met online a couple of days ago.

It wasn’t something new to you to meet up with people you met online but this felt a lot different.

Previous times, you had used different dating apps or social media websites to make friends but this was the first time you had used a dating website specifically for people who knew the existence of curses.

Jujutsu sorcerers often found it hard to find someone they could click with because of their field of work but this website had risen up to popularity from day one. Your old classmates from your jujutsu college wouldn’t shut up about it so you gave it a go after their insisting.

Maru was one of the first people you matched with on the website. In his profile, he had written about how he wanted to find someone he could be himself with and date them.

That’s why tomorrow, you had to be on your best behavior so he could be himself around you.

~~~

You were twenty minutes early.

It wasn’t your intention to arrive this early but whether it be the excitement to meet up with Maru or not wanting to make him wait if your train was late-

Wait, those were all connected.

Letting out a sigh, you checked your phone. Yep, still twenty minutes. Once you put it back in your purse, your eyes scouted around the station. There weren’t any empty spaces for you to sit so you were standing by a meeting point next to the maps, hoping Maru would see you.

Although you didn’t know what he looked like, you had put effort into how you looked today so you could impress him. Deep inside, you hoped he would take notice of your appearance and compliment you but some men were just too dense.

From the way he had started texting you, he gave you the impression that he was one of those stoic and dense men but as you started to get to know him better, he turned out to be quite a friendly person. Very talkative and caring.

You pressed a hand on your cheek, you were burning up. Geez, were you really blushing this much because of him?

When you told your friends about this date, they had told you not to have too many expectations about Maru. They believed you were being catfished but it wasn’t possible, you didn’t want to meet him because of his appearance after all.

“Um, excuse me-”

Startled, you lifted your head to stare at a… robot?

You stepped away from its way, thinking that you were standing in front of its charging station or something. How long had it been since you had gone out? Had robots already taken over? Or was this one of those public pranks?

The robot was staring at you even after you moved away.

“(username)?”

You lifted your gaze and looked at the robot with wide eyes. “M-M-Maru?”

It nodded, “Mechamaru.”

No, it wasn’t a robot. You could sense cursed energy oozing from it. More like a cursed doll. Nevertheless, you were speechless.

There was a long pause before you spoke. “Ah, I...” You looked around as if you were searching for an exit and anxiously clutching on your purse.

Great, you were going to make up an excuse and go away. Just like he thought you would.

“I thought I was going to meet you, not a puppet.”

“I’m here,” he said, static sizzling noise coming from him was like nails on a chalkboard. “I just can’t be physically here because of my condition.”

“You could’ve told me about it first… ahh, sorry.” You sounded more annoyed than you would have liked but quickly covered it up by bowing your head to greet him. “Nevermind, I’m (name).”

“Are we going to use real names?”

“Well, I’m not gonna call you Megaman.” There was a smile.

“Mechamaru,” he corrected. After a short silence, he added, “Kokichi.”

“Nice to meet you Kokichi, I hope we can get along well.” You bowed yet again.

“Why are you being so formal?”

“It’s cuz…” You pointed at him.

“What?”

“Well…” You used both hands to gesture his whole body.

“If you say it’s because I’m a robot or anything similar to that, I’ll go home.” He sounded serious, or maybe it was because of the static.

You pouted and leaned forward on your tiptoes, “If I can’t even joke around then I’ll go home.”

“I thought you were looking forward to our date.” When you blushed at his words he spoke again. “You look cuter than your pictures.”

“Ahh, you really think so?” You started walking and he followed after you.

“I do.” He was keeping a large space between the two of you, whenever you tried to walk closer to him, he would move away but now when you were caught in the station with the crowd who were going home after work hours, you had to stay close to him.

You were being pushed against Kokichi thanks to the crowd trying to walk out of the station and he didn’t complain about it. Kokichi didn’t look at you, he thought about the things he read on the internet instead.

‘If you want your date to consider you as manly, you have to invest yourself to talk to her.’

“Your dress looks cute.” Kokichi came up with ‘the compliment her outfit’ route, he had seen men flirt before, he could do it too.

He stared down for a moment to see your reaction.

Bingo!

You smiled brighter than the sun, you played with your hair to give him a playful answer. “Thank you, I wore this just for our date.” Your eyes shined with small sparkles in them. “I really like your collar.” You pointed at his face, not too close, hesitant to invade his personal space. I’m here with his puppet not him, you reminded yourself.

“Thanks.”

When the two of you finally exited the station, you walked alongside him.

“Where to?” He nonchalantly asked while you were looking around the streets.

“What about karaoke?” You gave him an inviting smile, “It’d be fun.”

“Whatever you say.” He wasn’t sure which way you were taking. There was the main street and Kyoto's red-light district, of course, he knew you wouldn’t be going there. “Which street are we going for?”

You pointed to your right, “The main street, there is a karaoke place I know.” Your smile altered when you noticed how this time when you walked together to cross the street, it was close, your shoulder touched his fake biceps.

“I’m not good at singing for obvious reasons.” Back in his bathtub, Kokichi said it in a joking manner but thanks to the cursed puppet, it sounded a lot as if he was annoyed about the idea of going into karaoke. He bit his tongue and cringed, waiting for your reaction.

“You can still try, can’t you?” You gave him the best puppy eyes you could. “For me?”

Kokichi blushed but you weren’t able to see it through Mechamaru. “Y-yeah.”

“Oh, I didn’t know robots could stutter.”

“I didn’t stutter and I’m not a robot. This is a cursed puppet and sometimes the commands I give are interrupted, that’s why I-”

“You’re so easy to tease just as I guessed!”

Kokichi covered his mouth with his hand, watching you giggle at him through his screen.

“Here it is.” Pointing at a sign, you grabbed his arm and dragged him with you.

While you were showing him the prices, he was busy staring down at your shirt. He could… he could see your cleavage.

“The menu says they serve alcohol at this hour! Ahh, the prices are cheaper than the last time too! We can share the tab-” You stopped yourself from talking. Silence brought him out of his trance. “Oops, sorry. You can’t eat or drink through Megaman, right?”

“Mechamaru,” he corrected. “No, I can’t… But it’s on me anyway.”

“You’ll pay?” Your eyes sparkled brighter than the stars. Your pouting lips and hand on his chest didn’t help.

Kokichi looked away, blushing. “Y-yeah.”

“Y-you’re the best!” Mocking his stuttering, you offered him a cute smile. Then you went on to drag him inside while telling him about how this place was the best karaoke place in Kyoto because they served desserts and your favorite cocktail. All the while renting a room for the two of you.

“Would you like to share with others?” The employee asked.

“No.” Your answer was instantaneous.

Behind the register, the employee stared at Kokichi and down at you. It was easy to tell he thought the two of you were a mismatch. “Your room is to the left, you can order through the smart tablet. Have fun.”

“Thanks,” you said before walking past the register. When Kokichi caught up with you, you turned around. “Did you see the way he stared? So lame!”

“Well, anyone would have stared if they saw a pretty girl next to a robot.”

“So, you’re accepting you’re a robot?” You grinned, opening the door to the private room.

“That’s not what I meant!” He didn’t know what he was expecting. From the way you texted, he should have known you were this childish and unable to have a serious conversation.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing.” He closed the door behind him as you were ordering as many drinks as you could. Once he noticed you were about to order the entire menu, he barely managed to stop you by taking the smart tablet away from your hands. “Hey, I’m not rich!”

“It’s cheap, trust me!” You pouted your lips again, reaching for the smart tablet he was holding above your head.

His stare found the menu and froze. It was cheaper than he had thought like you said. He had never been somewhere like this, nobody could blame him for it.

“Sorry, I didn’t notice,” he said as he handed the device back to you.

“I was showing you the menu earlier, you weren’t listening, were you?” Your smile widened, eyes squinting knowingly.

“I was listening! You’re talking way too much, I can’t keep up!”

You crossed your legs, continuing to add stuff to your order.

It got quiet.

Realizing what he had said was rude, he apologized.

“It doesn’t sound genuine.”

“It’s because I’m talking through a puppet.”

“Exactly.”

You weren’t looking at him. Putting the tablet aside, you leaned back on the soft cushions. The mood had changed. When you weren’t talking, it was too quiet.

Decidedly, he walked over to the karaoke machine and grabbed two microphones. He sat next to you, placing one of the microphones next to you as he reached for the tablet.

There were way too many songs in the system and he knew none of them.

Scrolling further, he found Takada-chan’s songs.

“You like Takada-chan?” you asked, noticing how he had stopped scrolling.

“No,” he replied. “My friend-” Was he really his friend? “My friend likes her, he won’t stop talking about her and all.”

“I like her,” you said. “I’ve been to her meet and greets many times but they’re always ruined by some buff dude who has the most tickets. He’s always at the events, kinda creepy but seems like he supports her. He once beat up some guy who insulted her.”

Kokichi didn’t say anything. He didn’t want that guy to be the icebreaker on his date.

“Creepy,” he uttered before putting the tablet on your lap. “You should sing, I don’t know any of these songs.”

“None of them?” You raised a brow.

“None.”

“You’re so boring,” you murmured, clicking on the first song you saw.

The loud music filled the room and his hideout. You tapped on the microphone, “Check, one, two. Kokichi is sooooo boring!”

Your laughter was the next thing that filled his hideout. He chuckled but it came out as a static noise through Mechamaru.

While you were singing, the same employee came with two trays full of drinks and snacks, he left them on the table before leaving immediately. None of you paid any mind as you were changing the lyrics to tease Kokichi.

“Are those really the lyrics?” he asked.

“Yep!”

Another giggle.

Too cute.

Very cute.

He watched you stop singing for a brief moment to chug down your third drink. Your cheeks were flushed red from the booze and your neck was sweaty, you kept fanning your hand towards your face.

His gaze focused on a particular sweat droplet on your neck and idly watched as it drizzled down to your cleavage before disappearing under the fabric of your dress.

Kokichi tried focusing on something else but he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from you. Every single thing you did was seductive. When you bit onto a small rice cake or the way your lips closed around the straw of your drink and how your cheeks hollowed when you tried sucking the last bits of your cocktail in your mouth.

The last drop had to be when you grabbed an ice cube from your drink and held it over the skin of your chest.

His hand pressed on his lower half. He was thankful he wasn’t physically there or he would have been labeled as a pervert. Under the soothing medical liquid, he had a problem you didn’t need to see.

You weren’t singing anymore but the music was playing nonetheless to suppress the silence as Kokichi was practically undressing you with his eyes.

“Heyyy, Kokichi~” you slurred, sitting closer to him. “You’re being too quiet!”

Taken aback, he spoke. “I’m not sure what to say?”

“Just talk…” you whined, putting a hand on his knee.

Oh, how he wished he could feel the warmth of your hand.

“Or better… Sing!” You held a microphone up to his face.

“I can’t sing,” he reminded.

“You said, you’d sing for meee~”

He blushed, taking the microphone from your hand. “I don’t know the lyrics.”

“It’s on the screen.”

Yes, the lyrics were on the screen.

He felt embarrassed, this was stupid. He wasn’t even actually in the room with you but he felt so nervous. His actual hands were shaking as he gulped.

When he started singing, you started laughing.

The static made it sound like he was an actual robot. Yet, Kokichi didn’t stop despite how tone-deaf his voice was coming through Mechamaru. He wanted to make sure you were having fun but the music stopped.

Both of you stared at the notification on the tablet, asking if you wanted to add another hour to your stay.

Had it already been an hour? Time was going fast when you two were having fun.

You looked at Kokichi.

He pressed to accept.

The music continued playing.

This time, Kokichi didn’t sing. The two of you started chatting about everything and anything until there was a lull in the conversation.

“Lemme see your hand,” you said, reaching your own towards him. He slowly placed his hand on your open one and you compared the size. “Wow, your hand is hugee, is your real hand this big?”

Funny, if not absurd. You were on a date with a puppet but you were getting turned on.

“It's the same size as my own hand.” His gaze dropped to his actual body. “At least one of them.”

“Can you feel that?” You intertwined your fingers with his.

“No.” He wasn’t looking and he didn’t need to look. The depressing realization that he was always going to watch people behind a screen and in this damn bathtub was starting to sink in once again.

“Can you feel this?” You were giggling.

“I told you, I can’t feel-” His breathing stopped at the sight of you pressing his hand on your breast.

“I wanna meet you, Kokichi~” Smiling enticingly, you sat closer to him. “It’s no fun when I can’t see if you’re blushing right now.” Your hand over his hand moved on your breast, the supple flesh jiggled under the front of your dress. “Are you blushing right now?”

“I am.” His answer was instant.

“You know,” you started, putting your free hand on his thigh and lifting your leg up on the cushion to face him. “I got all dressed up ‘cause I wanted you to lose your composure. You sounded so uptight and stoic. I wanted to see you lose it.” Tilting your head, you puckered your lips. “But you didn’t even come to our date.”

“I did.”

“Megaman did.”

“Mechamaru.”

“I wanted Kokichi to come.” You pulled his hand away from your breast and led it down to your stomach and even lower. “I wish you were here so you could feel how wet I am.”

“(name),” he said. “I can’t feel my fingers through Mechamaru.”

“Mm?” You placed his hand under the skirt of your dress. “But I can feel them.”

Kokichi’s actual hand started shaking in excitement as Mechamaru’s fingers brushed against your panties.

“Can’t I meet you?” Your voice was faint compared to the music but he heard it. “I wanna meet you.”

“You’ll be disappointed, I don’t look… normal.”

“You don’t look normal right now either.” Biting your lip, you moved against his hand. A soft gasp left your lips. “Yet, I’m so turned on right now.”

There were a thousand different thoughts invading his mind but Kokichi felt like he was hypnotized by your hips.

“Kokichiii, move your fingers,” you whined softly, your eyes hazy with lust.

“I need to see them,” he said. Back in his room, his own hand was pressing down on his growing erection. “Or I may move them wrong.”

“Pervert~” you teased, lifting the skirt of your dress up.

He didn’t say anything, instead focused his attention on your soaked panties. How long had you been this wet? From the moment you two rented the room or-

“Kokichi.” Your needy voice brought him out of his dirty thoughts. “You don’t have a cock under your pants, do you?” Your hand pressed against Mechamaru’s groin.

For the first time in his life, Kokichi felt his entire body jolt. Your vulgar way of asking was enough to get him rock hard. “No-”

“What a waste.” Sulking, you retrieved your hand. “But are you hard right now?”

“I… I am.”

A dangerous glint sparkled through your eyes. “If only you were here… I’d make you feel sooo good.”

Mechamaru’s fingers pressed against your clothed folds before moving along them. A soft moan left your lips and you balanced yourself on your hands.

“I look like a freak-”

“You keep saying that.” Your hips moved against his hand. “As if that matters to me.”

Mechamaru slid your panties to the side and spread your folds with two of his fingers, he carefully watched as wet strands connecting them together broke apart. Kokichi’s own hand was pumping his cock.

“What are you doing right now, Kokichi?”

“I’m putting a finger inside.” He inserted one of his fingers inside you.

“No, what are you really doing?” You bit your lip.

“I’m… I’m jerking off.”

Satisfied with his answer, you crossed a leg over his to settle on his lap with your back against his chest. Spreading your legs wider, you allowed him a better view of your wet pussy. Mechamaru’s digits slid inside as Kokichi moved his hand along the length of his cock.

Mechamaru’s other hand went to cup your breast over your shirt, making a moan escape your lips.

His fingers were reaching deeper than your own fingers ever could. The digits moved in a scissoring motion and curled against your gummy walls, pressing against the spot that made your vision blurry.

“Kokichi,” gasping, you squirmed on his lap, your back arched when his thumb grazed over your clit. “I wanna kiss you so bad.”

Kokichi’s hand tightened around the tip of his cock, he pulled the sensitive skin down to expose the pink tip and massaged it using his thumb. When his hand started moving along his cock again, the device helping him talk through Mechamaru picked up the clicking sound rather than the medical fluid splashing.

You moaned at the realization of what you were hearing.

The feeling of the metallic firm fingers stroking your clit made your hips buck against his hand. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, panting, you pressed your thighs together.

Mechamaru’s hand on your chest moved down on your thigh to hold you in place as his fingers inside your pussy started to vibrate. The sudden pleasure made you scream but the loud music concealed it.

Kokichi couldn’t breathe normally, his pulse had gone haywire as his hand was moving hastily around his cock while Mechamaru’s digits were messing you up.

“S-s-s-stop!” Your voice broke into a moan.

“Do you really want me to stop?” He barely managed to ask, his hand wouldn’t stop.

You shook your head rapidly, biting your lip.

Your walls clenched around the digits, sucking them in deeper. Kokichi’s own hand was moving faster than his heartbeat. His tongue lolled out of his mouth and his shoulders tensed.

He was close.

From the way you were shaking, he could say the same thing for you.

So, when Mechamaru pushed his digits further inside, the vibration got stronger and stronger until your legs shook. The pleasure that was building in your gut suddenly got released, shaking you to your core.

Kokichi followed suit, his cock spurted thick clumps of cum and they landed on his stomach, his bandages absorbed his seed.

By the time he caught his breath, he realized you were still on his lap.

Mechamaru had gone limp as he had gotten distracted because of his orgasm. He revived the cursed doll while you were trying to fix your dress.

You wanted to say something but you couldn’t find something to say.

To your rescue, the music stopped.

The tablet had the same notification from before. Informing you that the second hour had ended and if you wanted to rent the room for one more hour.

Kokichi leaned forward and pressed on the tablet to end the session.

“We’re leaving already?” you pouted your lips.

“You said you wanted to meet me.”

Kokichi watched as the brightest smile he had ever seen formed on your face.

After he paid the tab the two of you exited the building as he held you up with one hand because your legs weren’t functioning properly.

“The employee behind the register noticed your wobbly legs,” Kokichi said.

“You think so?” you whispered, cheeks and ears colored in bright red.

“He was looking, so, yes.”

“You kinda went overboard by using Megaman’s vibrator hands.” Your giggle filled his ears and he smiled to himself.

“It’s Mechamaru.”

[duuhrayliegh]

social media

warnings: none? maybe a smidgen of language? fluffy bucky, bad description of dancing? idk, there really isn’t anything in this one to be warned about it just super wholesome

word count: 2437 

a/n: okay so this came out longer than i meant it to, but i’m not mad at it. there’s mention of he/they pronouns and gender identity, if i didn’t do the subject justice please let me know. also tiktok mentions and all creators are tagged accordingly so please go appreciate their wonderfulness :) 

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open!! 

if you want to know where these characters are coming from, check out the other parts! you don’t have to read them in any particular order!

ray’s m.list

******************************

Being from the 1940’s, Bucky didn’t have much education in the world of smartphones and social media. When he came out of cryo in Wakanda, Shuri wasted no time showing him the ways of the iPhone. Honestly, he was stunned because there were so many things you could do with it. So much information was available at the touch of his fingers.

Shuri taught him the ins and outs of the phone. He had gotten pretty good at it, if he did say so himself. She had just begun to teach Bucky about social media when Steve pulled him back to the Big Apple. When he returned to New York, he was able to easily contact Steve, who was not as proficient as Bucky was. So when he met the fantastical group of four friends, they began to teach him. This was one of those things that they were incredibly excited to teach Bucky about.

“So you don’t have an account on anything?” Freddie held his hand out for Bucky’s phone.

“No, I have one on something. I think Instant Graham? My friend set it up for me, but she never taught me how to use it.” Freddie smiled and shook his head, dark curls bouncing back and forth.

“It’s Instagram, bubs and that’s a good jumping off point.” He opened the black iPhone and swiped through the pages on the homescreen. Coming across the sunset colored icon, he hovered his finger over it. The screen changed, opening to a white screen with the words, WELCOME to INSTAGRAM, whitewolf. Bucky smiled at the name displayed and Freddie scrunched his brows.

“What is a White Wolf?”

“I’m the White Wolf. It’s Wakandan. We can change it if we need to.” Freddie looked over at Bucky and saw the happiness on his face at the name.

“No, it’s good we can leave it.” He clicked on the profile button in the bottom right corner of the screen. “Okay, so this is your personal profile.” In the top left corner whitewolf was written with a little arrow next to it facing downward. Freddie opened the edit profile section.

“Do you have a favorite picture of yourself? You have to set a profile picture so people know that it’s you.” Bucky nodded in understanding, and then took his phone back to scroll through his pictures. He didn’t have many, just the ones that he took recently. There was hardly any of just him, but he eventually found one he deemed good enough.

“Alright, now what do you want to put in your bio?” Shrugging his shoulders, Bucky leaned back into Cassie’s plush couch.

“What does yours say?” Freddie pulled his own phone out of his pocket. The pale lilac color seemed to shine through the clear case that it wore. Opening his own Instagram, Freddie leaned the phone towards Bucky.

|| he/they || activist || va te faire voir ||

“What does ‘he slash they’ mean?”

“Oh, those are my pronouns.” Freddie received a head tilt from Bucky, so he decided to elaborate. “So, I identify as a non-binary who is comfortable with you using he/him pronouns or they/them pronouns. If you’re talking about me to someone else, you can say ‘he is at the store,’ or ‘they are at the store.’” Bucky nodded, still a bit confused on the subject.

“When do you use each one? Like is there a certain time that you say he and him and another time for they and them?” Bucky was trying to get some clarification on the topic.

“Not necessarily. Usually, when you’re first talking to someone, it’s common practice nowadays to use they/them pronouns so as to not misgender anyone. I know it probably sounds a bit excessive and a small bit over sensitive to you, but to a queer or non-binary person it makes a whole hell of a lot of difference when someone tries to be inclusive.”

“Okay, so like if I just meet someone on the street, I should use the they/them pronouns until told otherwise?”

“Yeah, absolutely. Do you want to include your pronouns in your bio?” Bucky smiled and nodded, happy with himself that he was able to understand that so well.

“So, what does it mean to be non-binary and still use the he/him pronouns? Don’t those two contradict each other?”

“Not really. Gender is a spectrum, as is sexuality, but for someone to identify as non-binary and use he/they pronouns, means that I feel that not everything about manhood accurately describes my truth. On that same hand, I still do identify as a male.”

“Right, right.” Throughout Freddie’s lesson about gender identity, he was able to finish Bucky’s profile and begin to follow the three girls. After clicking the blue follow button on all three of the girls profiles, the group chat between them started blowing up, that was a new phrase Bucky learned last week.

Evie: um, i just got the weirdest insta notif

Penny: me too???

Cassie: I did too.

Cassie: Wait, who is Bucky with right now?

Evie: DANG IT FREDERICK I WANTED TO HELP HIM SET IT UP

Bucky: My name isn’t Frederick, Evie

Incoming Call from Evie

“What do you want, spaz?” Freddie answered on speakerphone. An indignant scoff  came from the other end.

“I thought we were all going to help him with that, Frederick.”

“Um, I don’t remember us talking about that.” He laughed as the door to Cassie’s apartment opened, allowing Penny to walk in and smile at the two men on the couch. “Also, when were we going to have time to do that with you being at school and all?”

“We were going to wait until the weekend!”

“Eves, you’ve been saying that for the past like three weeks.”

“Oh my gosh, fine.” Her end of the phone got real quiet, “I’ll be home in like ten minutes. I call dibs on helping him set up a TikTok.” Three beeps signalled to the room that Evie had hung up the phone. Bucky turned to Penny and began to ask about her day.

“Ya know, the usual. Rude customers, bratty co-workers, life’s a dream at the bank.” She slipped out of her nude heels and made her way to the sofa. “What have you boys been up to?”

“We have been setting Buck up with some social media and learning about gender identity and respecting pronouns.” Freddie said proudly as he handed Bucky his phone back.

“Sick! Which ones did you do?”

“All the classics, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook just for PR though because hardly anyone uses it anymore.”

“Right, and can’t do TikTok until Evie gets here. Um, did you set up a Spotify for him?” Bucky recognized the name and the memories of Shuri helping him floated in his head.

“Oh, I have one of those. That was actually the first thing that Shuri helped me set up whenever I got this thing.” He opened the app quickly to prove what he was saying. Penny smiled and gave a small thumbs up. “I do have one question.” The two of them gave Bucky their undivided attention. “What is a TikTok?”

“Right, so it’s just short videos. It’s really pretty cool and a really good way to waste time.” Freddie answered while pulling up his own page on the app.

“Yeah, and the thing that shows you videos is curated to your tastes because it’s based on your likes and people you follow.”

“I’m almost positive that Evie is going to teach you a dance and do a TikTok with you, if you agree to it.” Penny laughed at the thought of Bucky doing one of the dances that she saw on her For You page. The door to the apartment swung open a second time, revealing a winded Evie.

She dropped her school bag on the floor, hunching over while gripping the side of the granite countertop. Evie held a finger up and the group on the couch waited for her to speak.

“I ran--” deep inhale, “I ran from the subway.” Another deep breath as she lifted her upper half, stretching out her back with her hands on the back of her hips. “You haven’t done TikTok yet right?”

“No, your Highness, we haven’t done TikTok.” She smiled big and then plopped herself on Bucky’s left side. She thrust her hand toward him, wiggling her fingers. Bucky cautiously placed his phone in the center of her palm.

“This is going to be good. Okay so since your name on Instagram is whitewolf, we can’t use that for TikTok. It’s gotta be something snappy.”

“I don’t know, I think you can use the same one for both, Eve.” Penny remarked as Evie downloaded TikTok onto Bucky’s phone.

“Well, of course you can, but we’re not going to.” She giggled as the app opened. She looked over at Bucky with wrinkled brows. “Do you have any nicknames?”

“Um, Bucky is my nickname.” He said in a duh tone.

“Well, obviously, but do you have any other ones? Like, what do your friends call you?”

“Bucky or Buck, I don’t really have nicknames.” Evie groaned and threw her head back.

“Okay, well let’s think. You’re a Sergeant. Your real name is James Buchanan Barnes. Superhero name is Winter Soldier or White Wolf. You have a metal arm.”

“You’re literally just stating facts, Evie.” Freddie said from the other side of Bucky, who was nodding along in confirmation to Evie’s statements.

“I know! I’m processing. What about vibraniumjames?”

“That’s disgusting.” “Mm, yeah that’s a no from me.” Penny and Freddie talked at the same time.

“metallicsergeant? jamesbby? Any of those tickle our fancy?”

“The first one isn’t terrible, but it’s not great. Why don’t you just use whitewolf like his Instagram? Or you could do iambuckybarnes.”

“Yeah, I’m with Freddie. I like whitewolf or iambuckybarnes, it’s simple. And I am the White Wolf, so yeah.” Bucky said to a disgruntled Evie.

“Oh my gosh, fine. We can always change it later, but this is fine for now.” She set up his profile, making it match the other ones that Freddie had made. Once she was finished with her work, she turned to Bucky and smiled big again. “Now, I can teach you a dance and if you’re cool with it we can post it on your profile.” Bucky shook his head and pulled himself off of the comfy couch beneath him.

“If we’re going to do this, we need to do it right, so don’t hold back on me.” He smiled as Evie squealed in excitement.

“You know, my school friends were just dying to see the day that you got social media.” This statement confused Bucky.

“And why would that be?” Evie laughed as she scrolled through her TikTok feed, searching for the right dance to do with Bucky.

“Well, for one, they think you’re hot and they’re thirsty hoes.” She clicked on the original dance video, showing the screen to Bucky. “And, for two, they love you. Everyone does.” Bucky shook his head at that. He did too many bad things for everyone to love him.

“Hey, remember what we talked about?” Penny said from across the room. “We don’t downgrade our progress. Most of the general public is more forgiving than we give them credit for.” Bucky nodded then focused his attention on the video.

“This is Cardi B’s song Up. People on TikTok have made a challenge of doing this dance to the song. I think it originated with a girl named Mya Nicole. Anyway! We’re going to do this one, if you’re up for it.” Bucky looked at Evie with one brow quirked. There was so much shaking in this. Nonetheless, he shrugged his shoulders., it clearly was making Evie happy so he wasn’t going to take that away.

“Sickening! Okay, let’s start learning it.” It took a good hour and a half to help Bucky move his body in the way that the dance required. By the time they were ready to start filming the actual video, Cassie had walked in.

“What is happening here?” A large smile spread across her face as she watched Bucky and Evie practice one last time. A breathless Evie turned to Cassie.

“Bucky agreed to do the Cardi B Up dance with me.” She then turned to Bucky, “You ready to do this for real?” The tall man beside her shook his head while laughing.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” From the safety of the couch, Freddie, Penny and Cassie were watching the scene before them unfold. Both Bucky and Evie jumped into frame, with their legs spread wide. Throwing their fists in front of them and then behind their legs in time with the music. Bringing their hands above their head to clap and then jumping again, throwing just one hand up at a time.

Shifting to the side, the pair brought the leg closest to the camera up to their waist while hitting it back down with their fist. They both remained facing sideways as they shook the leg they just hit and ran their hands down their torso. The pair did another vertical jump, bringing their knees up to their fists. Once their feet hit the floor, they folded at the waist, slamming their palms flat on the ground.

Smiles were plastered on both their faces as they finished out the dance, knees bent, bouncing their legs back and forth while tossing their hands above their heads. Loud laughter rang out from the three friends in the living room as Bucky and Evie dropped to their butts. The video ended with Bucky and Evie yelling at the other three in the room.

“You’re definitely going to go viral with that one, Buck!”

“Like an infection?” He asked with wide eyes of concern, more peels of laughter rang out.

“No, like famous, lots of people are going to see it.” That relieved and scared Bucky at the same time. He wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it, but he knows that his friends wouldn’t steer him wrong.

“Now we can caption it something cute!” Evie breathed out as she leaned over the couch next to Cassie, who was now curled up beneath a fluffy white blanket.

“Don’t forget to tag the original creator, I hate it when people don’t do that.”

The video was posted with the caption,

iambuckybarnes: am i doing the tiktok right realpokemonevie? dance cr: theemyanicole

And it wasn’t long after posting that Bucky got a call from Steve that he needed to come into the tower.

***************************

@mishaandthebrits

[mermaidsirennikita]

Thoughts on the Armie developments? I gotta say I am suprised that by the looks of it he's been completely shut out from Hollywood. Those men rarely face any actual consequences and start working again, albeit with a lower profile then before. And maybe he's just biding his time for a comeback but idk with him it feels different.

As someone who's worked with timeshare owners in the past (not for timeshare companies, mind you--never that) if he's actually selling timeshare that makes total sense. Timeshare salespeople are fucking sharks, and for the top earners it can be very lucrative... But it's a total scam too, which requires preying upon people who are often older and not savvy. So. Makes sense for Armie!

I think Armie is going to try for a comeback, but tbh the fact that everyone knows that he's working a "real job", and an embarrassing one too, is a big hit. Oof. I think the issues he's facing are:

A) Audiences weren't checking for him, and Hollywood was beginning to realize that he wasn't going to "happen" as his scandal occurred. There was that "hit piece" on Buzzfeed years ago (which was dead fucking on, I hope she got some apologies for the people who flamed her for writing it), and I think it spoke to the truth of him. He came from a wealthy family, so he had the ability to bide his time and keep trying it. But ultimately, his good looks are very bland and unremarkable (a less conventional looking man with an "it factor" will make it in Hollywood before a conventionally attractive man without it--see Adam Driver) and he's not that talented. Very... whatever. He'd been a lead for a couple of different franchise-starting flops (the Lone Ranger, The Man from U.N.C.L.E). His upcoming projects at the time the scandal broke were a Netflix adaptation of a book that was previously adapted into a legendary movie (Rebecca) in which!!! Armie!!! Was taking the role previously played by!!! Laurence FUCKING Olivier!!!! So that was never going to be good and was clearly going to invite critique even without the scandal. Then there was Death on the Nile, which was a big ensemble where he wouldn't be the biggest draw. The clock was ticking.

B) His family has, supposedly, cut him off. I wouldn't be surprised if they're floating him some cash still, but clearly he's still gotta hustle for a buck. Imo, if he hadn't had support and connections beforehand, he would've dropped off sooner in Hollywood. Now that they're gone, he doesn't have the ability to keep cracking like he used to.

The thing is that he's not a disgraced legend like Depp and it wasn't a mildly embarrassing scandal. There was abuse... There was sexual deviancy~... there was cannibalism. Like. You really don't have a lot of scandals to compare this to. I'm not saying it's the worst one EVER EVER, but like. Who else had a cannibalism scandal? There's gotta be someone, but not anyone in the social media age.

[peeterparkr]

perennial;tom holland|thirteen.

chapter thirteen: heleniums

↳ flower meaning: comfort.

chapter summary: ‘very Tom and y/n’

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: Cherry, angst, fluff if you squint, smut (?, idk if there was any it’d be after the *), this hurts, but...rollercoaster

word count: 12.3K

SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE THE CHAPTER:

masterlist & profiles  

no social media 

previous chapter next chapter   perennial masterlist.

perfidy  ( series masterlist)

wanna be tagged?

Hi, I’m back, super hard chapter to write, honestly. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, happy new year. 

There were, with certainty, and exactly, three things Tom had regretted the most from that night, which, had they been avoided, he would’ve not had this mess. 

That night, not being y/n’s birthday, but the night before he slept with Cherry. It had led to the next day, and the next night, and to this mess. 

Tom had been confused, that is to say, he can’t be blamed for being confused. What had been something very, very innocent had turned into his worst nightmare. The background on his head was the peculiar reasoning behind the big decision that led to his first regret. 

The day before he slept with Cherry Tom had read the script. Not all of it, just part of it. Again, the part which had led to his broken heart. Tom regretted doing that, because the mind is such a dark place when it wants to be. Our minds are our biggest enemy, because who else knows what hurts the most than ourselves. 

Because Tom knew that the words written on that script hadn’t come from nothing. It’s what bothered him the most, is that every single word written there was completely and utterly true. 

He had been a monster. 

He regretted that, but we already knew that. 

He then had read over and over y/n’s last letter. Her telling him it was him, and no one else. Then why had she left? Why had he let her go? There was his mind telling him, being reasonable, telling him she’d left for the script, because she had. But then there was that one thought flying through his mind. She’d left and fall in love with Tim. She had once, why not twice? Y/N was vulnerable, and vulnerable hearts are easy to shape. Ghost haunting Tom’s mind, fearing he’d be buried deep in y/n’s mind. How much can a heart take? How many wounds until it finally dies. 

A flower can only bloom when it’s watered. 

He knew she’d end up forgetting him, that’s what the script said. But the letter said they’d be infinite. Would they? How many pieces were left out of the puzzle, making it unsolvable. Was she trying to get over him? 

Did he have to move on? He’d said that. She’d said that. Because it had made no sense why she left so suddenly when he’d needed her the most, to take her home and just listen to her, like she was an old song. She’d left when Tom had needed her the most,when he needed to make sure that they were supposed to love each other, to make sure he was the one. 

The second thing he’d regretted that night had been answering Cherry’s call, and accepting her offer to go out for a drink. He had been well aware of her flirting. And he’d give in because it felt like a cheap love , and he couldn’t afford for more at time, and it was easy, so unbelievable easy. Like she was giving in to him, without any ‘buts’. Without any built in walls, without any prejudice. 

He would’ve never known that he was so stupid. 

Tom had been lying when he said he hadn’t seen the next night coming. Because he’d made the decision the night before, at that one pub, with the warm beer that gave no entertainment, listening to a laugh that sounded like hers, some pair of eyes that if you tried hard enough, you could see hers. Someone so close, so near hear. And after a few more drinks, familiarity is what we all need. The hearts make the eyes see what we want to see. And if your mind is wild enough, he could pretend it was her. 

The third thing he regretted from that night, it had been leaning over to kiss Cherry, thinking that the alcohol would blind him enough to make him believe her lips were y/n’s. But when it’s not hers, then you’ll never be satisfied. 

He hadn’t been, but the lips had been welcoming. It had been him. He knew that. He’d fallen under the spell that Cherry was. 

Cherry, honestly, was a dark omen with raving hope. Tom had been a victim. Because Cherry had known what she was doing. 

But Cherry had also fallen under the lie that Tom was. Cherry, deep in her heart had known that y/n, her cousin, whom she barely knew, had something to do with Tom. She couldn’t map what, she knew they were enemies. Was there something else? He had shown up with flowers. 

Y/N when asked by Cherry, had once said only a fool would fall for Tom. 

And Cherry had been such a fool. Cherry, just like Tom, had gone through a heartbreak. An awful one, the one that makes you think that you’re not supposed to love. Cherry, had heard y/n say heartbreaks can be felt, and she agreed. Her ex girlfriend had broken up with her because she’d decided that Cherry just ‘wasn’t what she wanted’ Cherry wasn’t ‘enough to make her happy’. 

‘Cherry, you’re a season, and I need a year.’ 

It hurts. Cherry had known about it, how she was like a flower, only blooming every now and then. Not all year long. Cherry, most people said, was someone who people used, for a night. She’d known it long enough. Though Cherry is now the villain in our story, she can’t be blamed. Hearts are never easy, and hearts are vulnerable. 

And vulnerable hearts are easy to be shaped. Everyone thought Cherry was perfect, she’d hear it said, by other people, ‘oh, you’re the kind of girl that steals every glance in the room’, ‘you’re the one girl everyone wished they were’. Yet, she was never loved. 

So when Tom, trying to search for something so familiar to the one he loved, he’d made Cherry believe that she could be loved. 

She had tried not to, at first, but when Tom had kissed her that night, with those eyes he gave to y/n, but only with hopes of trying to find y/n there. And Tom hadn’t been disappointed, and he had kissed Cherry again and again. 

And while Tom was trying to find what he was looking for, not finding it, Cherry had found the one thing she’d searched for, her entire life, someone who wasn’t getting tired, someone who asked for more. 

Complicated. 

Cherry had heard it then, how Tom had left. And she was left again with those thoughts in her mind, what had she done wrong? 

James had come and told her he was forbidden territory, that Tom and y/n had a lot of story, that Cherry couldn’t go there. That she couldn’t go to Tom because he was forbidden. But how could he be? Her secret in a crowded room, how easily had she fallen for him, because he was oh, so easy to love. 

She remember the night he’d kissed her, first silence, no patience. How desperate the kiss had been, and how the whole world had stopped, because he kissed her like he loved her. 

He didn’t, but Cherry didn’t know that. Because it’s easier to believe that he wanted to take off her dress, to kiss her soul. It didn’t make sense, and she’d hidden under the lie that it’d be a rebound, a mutual agreement, but how hard had she tried to keep her hands to herself because she only wanted his hands to touch her. 

And she’d dream about him, all night long. If he’d kissed her that way, it meant he had feelings, too, right? 

What a fool Cherry had been, used as a ploy. He’d come the very next day, and there were his lips again, on her. So desperate for her. 

But Tom knew that though he had tried to kiss her like she was y/n, she wasn’t. But who wouldn’t fall for someone who is kissing you like your the love of their life? 

People can’t be replaced, we are all unique, and Tom had only realized it after Cherry’s hair was against his neck, after mistaking pleasure for passion, and after confusing lust with love. 

Problem was Tom hadn’t told Cherry, not exactly. He’d said the wrong words. 

Maybe Tom did regret a fourth thing, saying those words. “It’s the most similar thing that it’s to love, but one can’t pretend enough.” 

Cherry hadn’t understood the meaning behind that sentence. She thought he meant he loved her, while he, actually told her it wasn’t enough to be love. 

Then, gone. Gone. 

And then, y/n’s birthday had come around, and he was there, it was her time, because y/n and Cherry aren’t so different. They both wanted a fairytale. She had, indisputably, and after been told a lie, she had so foolishly tried to look for Tom. 

Love blinds us and makes us see what we want to see, and she hadn’t seen Tom and y/n. She’d seen y/n and Tim, and she’d seen Tom here and there, not with her. And she’d told her cousin, how she was deeply, madly in love with Tom and couldn’t get him out of his head. 

James had said: “you’re drunk, Cherry, dear, you can’t be in love.” 

Who was James to tell her her feelings were not hers? And she’d heard it again, from that one guy, Josh, ‘how she was the prettiest that night’, yet he’d kissed Emma. He had heard it from Tim, ‘you look stunning’, yet his eyes had been on y/n. 

And she’d been rejected, just when she’d kissed Tom, how he’d run to y/n.  Leaving Cherry, confused and heartbroken and not feeling enough, because though she’d given Tom everything, she still was not… enough. 

It had been a rough night. To everyone, really. The moment y/n had left the club, it had seemed things had turned out to be worse than imagined. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” and that sort of questions had rained over Cherry. “Tom’s y/n’s boyfriend!” 

“He is dating your cousin!” 

“You’re a slut!” 

Was she? 

Maybe she was. 

And she had reached for Tom, and she’d found him, right outside the bar, with a hand on his waist, and the other one pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes, tired, pale and sad. 

“Tom-?” She’d said, with fear. 

Tom had flinched hearing her voice. 

Tom knew he was to blame for a lot of things. 

But not this one. Not this particular one. 

Sure, he had been angry at the statement Timothée had made but he hadn’t really known anything. As far as he could recall the events that had gone through quickly, he didn’t even remember when Cherry had approached him, honestly he was too drunk and too busy staring at y/n. 

Cherry had said something to him, she wanted to talk. She said she really wanted to talk. He didn’t. 

“Tom?” She’d asked, again. 

“What?” He had snapped. “Can’t you--Can’t--Why did you do this?” He sounded desperate, angry, hurt, enraged. 

“I… didn’t know-” 

“You didn’t know?” He asked. “You didn’t know that I’m dating-Or was dating or whatever… you didn’t know that your cousin--- you didn’t know she’s the love of my life?” 

“I didn’t,” she snapped. 

James had walked over. “You knew.” 

“I didn’t,” Cherry said, or she’d chosen not to acknowledge she did know. When you’re in love you can become the most stupid, selfish and stubborn you can be. 

“Still why-would you do this?” Tom asked. “Fuck now-Now she’ll think-Fuck, I don’t even know what she thinks.” 

Cherry watched him. She had fucked up, and judging by how everyone was coming out just to yell at her, and Tom. 

Cherry had been drunk, honestly. Everyone had been, and maybe that had been the only courage she had needed. She’d seen Timothée approaching Tom, they were yelling at each other, Tim had pushed Tom, but Tom had easily pushed him off, harder. Yelling, cursing. James trying to separate them, were they fighting? Cherry couldn’t figure out whose fist had gone to whose face. Emma still asking why she’d done it. Sam asked about it. 

Cherry was feeling sick, and she felt like she was about to vomit.  Being asked about it, over and over and over. Why she’d done it, why had she been such a bad cousin, a slut, or whatever they were saying. How Emma kept yelling at her. 

No, she wasn’t going to vomit, but Cherry wished that what had come out of her mouth had been that instead. “Because I love him!” Cherry had said. 

And suddenly the chaos ceased. And then, Cherry knew, the blame was on Tom now. No one dares to question a woman in love. Because of course, if she was in love with him, it had been something Tom had done. 

Tom hadn’t answered. He only looked at her as if asking her how she dared to be in love with him, as if he didn’t believe her.  He had only cursed to himself, he was defeated. 

He didn’t care for her, not right now. But he did feel guilty. Because Tom had been the one to listen to her heartache. 

Cherry and Tom were not so different, either. How they both feared they were not right for the person you could love. 

It’s stupid, to think that. But Tom didn’t know how to apologize to her, but honestly, he thought Cherry would get it. He hoped she did. 

He had told her, how he had had his heart broken by someone who knew how to hurt him on his open wounds , and yet she hadn’t used the one weapon to create a new one. 

Why hadnt Cherry connected the dots? Was it not too obvious that Tom’s heart belonged to y/n? Was it not expressed enough? Did his eyes stutter when seeing y/n?

Tom had only pushed Tim before getting into a car, James had gone with him. 

“Are you going to kill me?” Tom had snapped. 

“No,” James said. “I saw what happened.” 

Tom only clenched his jaw, he was stressed, angry. “I didn’t—I swear I— I wasn’t—“

“I know.”

“And now she left—“

James nodded. “With Harry.” 

Tom thought he had already erased his fears with Harry. There was that thought in his head, quietly still roaming around, loud enough but tender to be just a faint sound. Could y/n catch feelings for Harry? Because when one is vulnerable, the head can easily be molded, and shaped. He’d learned that with Cherry, he knew that’s why y/n fell in love with Tim and there was that possibility. What if this was just the only straw y/n needed? 

And why was he even thinking about that? He’d broken her heart and there was no possible way of solving this, this had been the worst outcome from all the possible scenarios that could’ve gone down, this had been the one horrible ending to y/n’s birthday. 

“Before you freak out,” James interrupted Tom’s thoughts as soon as they’d arrived to the flower shop, where Tom thought y/n would be. “It’s the best thing that could’ve happened to you.” 

“She’s not here, fuck it,” Tom said, stressed out. Had she gone home? He ordered another car. 

“Her leaving with Harry,” James said. “He’s the only one she opens up to.” 

Tom sighed. “I don’t know,” he said, staring at his phone. 

“Harry will be able to calm her, they are best friends and they haven’t-talked in a while,” James said. 

“They have, they’ve texted,” Tom snapped, knowing damn well his brother had been in touch. 

“They’re not going to fall in love,” James said. 

Tom gulped down, “How do you know that? What if-what if she’s supposed-I-” 

“Stop fucking sabotaging yourself.” 

“I-” 

“She loves you,” James said. “That’s the least fucking thing you should be worrying about, you broke her heart, she just bloody saw you kissing another woman who happens to be our own cousin, you realize that, right?” 

“Yeah-yeah-But I didn’t-” 

“I know, Tom, but she knows the background, it wasn’t the kiss, it’s what the kiss meant, y/n had been avoiding this long enough and the glass just broke down, alright?” 

Tom only cracked his fingers, one by one, nervously listening to him. “I fucked up.” 

“Yeah, you did, so let’s-” 

“Should I-call her?” 

“That’s up to you,” James said. “Why are we even here?” 

“I thought she’d be here,” Tom admitted. “The flowers calm her down,” he said. “I-I dunno, I-- she wouldn’t go back home-I mean to her place, because- or would she? If she did then--” 

“No, because then she’d face Timothée and I’m sure Harry wouldn’t let her,” James said. 

“And she wouldn’t go to my place-” Tom was shaking, but it wasn’t cold, yet he was freezing. 

“You can ask Harry,” James suggested. 

Tom knew, in his heart, that he shouldn’t call, as James had said, Y/N could only completely open with Harry, he knew that, when it came to Harry, y/n didn’t have any second guessing or she didn’t stop and think, she just blurted everything out, and maybe that’s what she needed, to let it out, calm down. 

Besides, he knew that she wouldn’t answer if he dared to call. 

James didn’t know what to tell him either, it’s not that he was on Tom’s side. James was always team y/n, but James was so bloody empathetic to Tom, they were best friends and honestly, he knew Tom didn’t mean any wrong. Besides, James had learned from Tom that he was not so bad for y/n, so similar in some ways, different enough to always have an argument but realize that they were both so incredibly similar that it was what bothered them when children, ‘how dare my enemy agree with me’, and Tom had a weak heart, not like y/n’s who could have multiple rocks thrown at her heart and she’d be fine, but Tom’s heart would break so easily, James also remembered Tom had said, a while ago, when younger, to him:“Y/N looks like the type of girl you never forget, you can’t get over her, never move on. Like that one heartbreak time can’t heal.” 

How many years had gone by since y/n had broken Tom’s heart and he probably hadn’t healed? 

And James had seen Tom, how incredibly anxious and worried he was about y/n’s birthday being perfect, and how he had, against his will, invited Timmy, because he knew that not inviting him would make y/n mad. And how he’d chosen every little aspect thinking of her.

James had underestimated Tom, and y/n. Y/N did seem to let go so easily when she was around Tom, probably because they’d seen each other’s worst and now they wanted to be the best versions of themselves. 

James had seen that. 

But Tom was so, so bloody scared of screwing up, and he kept being haunted by his actions. Tom was so sure he’d fuck up, but not this way. Not in a way that was, though partly, not entirely his fault. 

“Or—what if you call her?” Said Tom, knowing she might answer him instead. With a sort of plan to take away the phone and try and talk to her with hopes of not being hung up. 

James did, and y/n didn’t answer.

Tom did ask Harry, only to know if she was with him, and if they were safe. That’s all he needed to know for now. 

He finally decided to go home, knowing that calling her was a big risk and that she wouldn’t answer and if she did what would he say?

James had asked Clark and Sam to find elsewhere to stay. James was anxious that Clark would get scared and run away from the mess his family and friends were. 

James had tried to reach for y/n. But then he realized that a friend needed him that night. 

“What am I supposed to say now?”

“That you’re sorry for starters, tell her the truth?” James suggested matter-of-factly. 

“She’s going to think that I had feelings for Cherry,” Tom said. 

“And she did have feelings for you,” James stated. 

Tom scrunched his nose. “I didn’t know that, but is that-?”

“Your fault?” James shrugged. “Dunno. Depends.” 

“I didn’t do anything thinking she’d fall in love,” he admitted. “I-I-I thought it was clear it was--She even said it herself,” Tom said. “This is a rebound, yes, not my proudest moment and I regret doing that but-” 

James shrugged. “Honestly, Tom, you have to tell her the truth, that’s it.” 

Tom sighed, eyes closed as he shook his head. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen-” 

James only watched him. 

“I’m-” Tom took a deep breath. “I… And here goes, I hurt her again, I’m just-How can I be so stupid to keep hurting her, how did I let this happen? I… can’t be what she wrote there, I was supposed to change or give some backstory or try and mend it. It’s like- We are not going to make it. And now I hurt wounds that hadn’t been healed, I don’t know what I’m saying, it’s like the more I’m talking the more I try to mend it the less I understand the more I hurt her.” 

James kept quiet, knowing Tom needed to talk. 

“How can I hurt her so much when I love her? And yet more plan wrecked and she’s going to tell me she wants me out of her life and I don’t know what’s different from last time?” 

“That you want to solve it.” 

“I always wanted to, yet I ended up hurting her again.” 

Tom was in misery, all night, trying to find the right words he’d say. Guilt was killing him, and he saw something very familiar, he saw how Tom and y/n weren’t that  James watched Tom, and he saw someone who really was trying. James wanted to call y/n, and he wanted to know how she was doing, but he knew that he’d get no answer from her. How was she doing? 

Probably not better than Tom, who at some point had left James alone, to only remain quiet in his room. James was sure Tom was crying but he knew he didn’t want to be seen crying. 

It was a long story, between Tom and y/n, and though James didn’t understand it, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to figure it out. What happened with them that they were so drawn to each other? Did the happiness really outshine the bad moments enough to forget it? Why did they love each other so much? Because James knew why he loved Clark, but Tom and y/n? Who were they when nobody was watching them. 

Tom was never one to shut everyone out, Tom was never quiet so who was this Tom, thinking to himself, quietly, sadly. He’d never seen him like this. 

James thought Tom was preparing for a heartbreak, one he would be guilted for. James also wanted to suggest he call her, but he didn’t know what was right with y/n. He felt guilty for not calling his sister, and he only texted Harry, who told her she was as fine as she could be. 

The next morning, Tom had woken up-or maybe he was still awake from the night before, he probably hadn’t slept. James had heard him talk to Harry. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take a shower and I’ll go talk to her.” 

Then Tom had called Sam, who wasn’t happy with any situation. 

James had called Clark. 

“I’m sorry you were in this mess,” he said. 

Clarke sighed. “It’s alright, I mean--” 

“How bad was it after I left?” 

“Let’s say there was a--plot twist,” Clark said. 

“Plot twist?” 

“You’ll have to deal with later, but--” 

Someone was knocking on the door. 

“I’m sorry-- someone is here,” James said. 

And there, he saw y/n, the most broken he’d ever seen her. He had expected her to cry and sink to the floor immediately. She didn’t. 

And she had yelled and she was angry, desperate. He’d never seen her so decided before. Without any hesitation she rushed past James. The woman had enough anger and decision, so James feared she’d kill Tom. 

“I’ve seen his fucking dick James, I don’t bloody care!” Y/N had burst into the bathroom, only to find a lonely and broke Tom that was trying to soothe his mind under the hot water, James had tried to stop her but she’d slammed the door shut. 

“Y/N!” Tom could only say with surprise. 

“What is wrong with you?” She asked, with anger as Tom turned the shower off and quickly reached for his towel. “No, seriously, what is wrong with you? And you didn’t call!” She yelled once again. 

Tom could see how she was wearing the dress from last night, her makeup was very messy, and so was her hair, the princess that once stood on a dance floor was a broken girl with a bouquet of yellow flowers

“Y/N I’m—“He tried to speak as he walked out of the shower, covering himself with the towel, water still streaming down his body. 

“You slept with her, Tom!” She yelled. “And here are your bloody yellow flowers!” She’d thrown them at him, sloppily. “And why��What are you going to do? Was it your plan again? Is this a prank? Like last time?  Is that what you’re going to say that I’m not your type and that you’d never dare someone like me and that this was all a prank and I should’ve seen it coming?” Her voice was loud but sounded broken, trying so hard not to break.”Why—why didn’t you call?” She spoke quickly and loud. 

“No, no, y/n, please calm down I didn’t mean for this to happen!” Tom said. This wasn’t how it wasn’t supposed to go. But honestly, Tom didn’t know it actually was supposed to go. 

“Oh, that fixes everything!” She snapped. 

“No, I-” Tom closed his eyes. “No, no, I’m sorry.” 

“If you are—Please tell me it was not a prank please—and you didn’t—“She wasn’t speaking coherently. She couldn’t speak, for that matter, he could see her struggle as she was breaking down, trying to fight the tears from falling down. “Please, please tell me it wasn’t all a prank like you did after that club night-” 

“No, y/n, y/n,” and he would have to follow James’ advice to remain calm, he approached her and gently took her hands. “No, I’m sorry—“ 

“Tell me—“

“It’s not a prank,” he said. “I love you, it’s not a prank this is not Rome.” 

That’s what she needed to listen to. 

She was still angry, but she leaned against the bathroom wall, defeated. She didn’t look at him. She caught her breath, slowly, looking up at the ceiling, 

“Please, y/n, look at me, it was not a prank, I love you,  it was a mistake, very—stupid mistake.” 

“You kissed her.”

“I—didn’t,” Tom said. “Please, look at me.”

She did. Slowly looked up to see him, her eyes were surrounded by bags and they were puffy and red. She’d been crying all night. 

“I’m sorry,” and he meant it. 

She looked away, she seemed furious. 

“Talk to me, please-”

.“You kissed—“

“I didn’t kiss her—She kissed me. I know, it doesn’t-But, please look at me, y/n, I’m—there’s a lot to talk but I didn’t kiss her. Please—look at me.” 

She looked again “I’m looking at you but I can’t see you—“she sounded tired, but not from her lack of sleep, tired from him. “Why didn’t—why didn’t you call?” She repeated, she wasn’t stopping the tears now. 

Tom felt so heartbroken only from watching her.“Would you’ve answered?” He asked as he tried, slowly to clean up her tears. 

“You didn’t call,” she stated, voice breaking. 

Tom had made a mistake by not calling, he knew that now. 

“I know, I regret it now,” he admitted. “I—just didn’t know what I was supposed to say.” 

“That you’re—“

“I am sorry, I know, you don’t believe how much I regret everything but you have to know that I didn’t kiss her last night, but I know being sorry isn’t enough.” 

She seemed as if she had a million things to tell him but couldn’t come around to say them, the words shaking and fading as soon as she opened her mouth. She crossed her arms and looked away. “Please tell me she’s not here—” she spoke as if her words were stabbing her, hurting her. “I know you wouldn’t be stupid enough to have her here, but please tell me she isn’t.” 

“What? Why would she?” 

She glared, “dunno,she’s not at her mother’s.” 

“You thought she’d be here?” Tom asked. 

Y/n didn’t know how to answer. “I knew she wasn’t but had to make sure.” 

She knew, at least. Tom thought. 

“I’m sorry,” Tom said. 

She didn’t say anything, but finally let the quiet tears slowly stream down her face, Tom couldn’t look her in the eye, not with this guilt. 

He took a deep breath. “Look I need—I need to get dressed alright? I was taking a shower and I was going to look for you. Harry told me you’d be at the hotel.” 

She looked away. “Yeah I’m not anymore I came here.” 

“Yeah. I can see that.” 

She only looked up at him. 

“Why did you come?” He asked, only then noticing she was still wearing the necklace he’d given her. 

“Because I—I don’t know—Because you didn’t call and I-” 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and took a deep breath. 

She only tried to avoid his gaze. 

“I’m going to get dressed,” he said, calmly. “Uh-do you—want to take a shower too? Borrow some clothes? Or do you want to talk right now?” 

“No—I guess—I need a shower.” 

Soon enough she was in the shower and Tom was dressed, he bumped into James as he walked out of his room. 

“She’s going to breakup with me,” Tom said. Because he knew she would, honestly he didn’t expect any less. He deserved that… But did he? 

“I thought she was going to murder you,” James admitted, but judiging by Tom’s look, he regretted it right away. “Bad time to joke—” He cleared his throat. “Look, she came here okay? Knowing y/n, it’s a first, she is never the first to ask for something face to face, she usually writes a letter and—” 

Tom sighed. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” 

“I’ll go out with Clark and Sam all day, I—look, you fucked up before but I know this—” 

Tom squinted. “Why did she have to kiss me? Why did this all have to blow up before we could even talk-” 

“Look I don’t know, I—no, I do know why she kissed you,” James stated. “And you know it too and you have to tell that to y/n.” 

“How am I supposed to tell her that she is in love with me? She’ll freak out and say I’m in love with her.” 

“Probably,” James agreed. “But you have to remain calm, even when she yells, listen to her she’s in her right.” 

“Yeah.” 

“And just to calm you down, she came here to you, not to Tim alright? That’s an advantage,” James reminded him. 

Tom hadn’t thought about Tim, and that thought hadn’t gone to his head. But now, it would linger. Not that it mattered but-”How do I know he hasn’t called her?” Tom asked. 

“Because she went to Harry and your brother wouldn’t let her do that not because of you but because it would’ve been stupid,” James stated. 

“What do I say?” 

“The truth, for starters and don’t—Dont bring the Tim thing up,” James said. 

“Yeah, I know.” 

James left, knowing a storm would be coming to that place. 

Tom didn’t know what to do, or wait, how had they postponed the fight like this, not only today but since he’d arrived. How and why had she avoided it? And why hadn’t he told her? He should’ve. 

She had to make sure that Cherry wasn’t there, she’d said it: I don’t think she is. Did she trust him? He hoped she did. 

Tom wished for patience, how hard he had tried not to explode and burst back the Tim thing. It seemed like y/n had tried hard not to explode. 

Though this was hard, Tom knew in his heart that this was both of them either trying to work it our or finally giving up completely. The latter option being so terrifying. Lost in his thoughts. But he knew that the stray and venomous thoughts were not going to get him anywhere, maybe a whirlwind. 

Eventually, y/n had walked out, dressed with his clothes, a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, as she dried her hair with the towel. She seemed so calm. Terrifyingly calm. 

“Thanks for--For the clothes,” were the only words she’d said. 

Tom only watched her. “I’m sorry.” 

“I know… I knew.” She knew? “I’m sorry I came in yelling like a crazy person,” she apologized. 

“You’re in all your right,” he nodded. 

“No, I’m not,” she sighed before walking over to sit beside,he only watched her. 

“You knew,” Tom said. Knowing what her words from before meant. 

“Yeah,” she sighed.

“Who--How did you--?” 

She bit her lip, and shrugged. “I know you,” she admitted. “And she posted a picture, she--Posted several pictures of you guys together.” 

“But you assumed-” 

“No, I saw that one picture with you kissing her cheek, and I knew,” she gulped. 

“How?” 

“The way you looked at her?” Y/N’s voice was shattering, her eyes had began to water down. “I-” 

“I don’t-” 

“You looked at her the same way you looked at me, and-” She was tearing down, trying to avoid and ignore she was. 

“I didn’t-” 

“You did,” she gulped down. 

He had, for that matter. But not for the reasons she thought. 

“I slept with her,” he admitted. “But-” 

“But?” 

“But it didn’t mean anything.” 

“She’s in love with you,” y/n stated. How did she know? How in this world? “It means something.” 

“How-?” 

She shrugged. “I happen to be an expert on knowing how it feels to love you and not being reciprocated.” 

Tom took a deep breath. 

“You’re not easy to love,” y/n said, standing up. “Contrary to popular belief and how easy it seems I do it, you’re not easy to love, you’re so…”She couldn’t finish her sentence. “So I could see her, last night, she looked like such a damn fool, and she-She’s an idiot, for falling for you, no one in their right mind would fall for you, guess it’s a family thing,” she poisoned, as she sat back on the bed, near the headstand, crossing her arms. “But--” 

“I don’t have any feelings for her,” Tom said, still at the edge, not facing her. 

“Yeah, I know, but it still is my cousin you decided to sleep with,” y/n said with venom. “You fucking slept with her  and then you kiss her on my birthday right fucking in front of me.”

“She kissed me.” 

“And then you let me go, you didn’t even explain anything you didn’t try to stop me, you just stood there…. and then you didn’t call and I can’t believe I let you break my heart again I can’t--” She was running out of breath, though he could hear her anger, her voice was calm. That was scared. “I don’t want to beg for your love, Tom, I don’t want to be broken again and I don’t want to say goodbye again.” 

“I don’t want to-either.” 

She glared at him. “How was it?” 

“What?” Tom turned to see her. 

“Was she good?” 

Tom blinked. “I— don’t—understand.” 

“Answer me, good? How many times did you-?” 

“Just once,” Tom answered. He tried to crawl to her but she stood up, arms crossed. 

“And how was it?” She asked with poison, her words stabbing Tom. 

He didn’t know how he was supposed to answer. “I don’t even know I was thinking about you the whole time.” 

“Oh,” she scoffed. “How refreshing, you were thinking of me while making love to my cousin,” she snaked. 

“It was a mistake,” he said. “I didn’t-”

“Ah, yeah, you tripped and your dick fell into her,” she snapped. “A mistake.” 

Tom heard it, he closed his eyes. “It didn’t mean anything.” 

“Sex has to mean something,” she said. 

“No it doesn’t,” Tom snapped. 

“It does.” 

“Fine if it does it means I broke her heart because I did the one thing she hates about people,” Tom snapped. “I used her to try to get you out of my mind and it only- 

She clicked her tongue. “Made it worse, buddy.” 

He plopped on the bed stressed. “Can we please talk about this?” 

“Well, go on, tell me, everything,” she pleaded, arms crossed. 

“What?” 

“What happened with her.”

“You want to know what happened with Cherry? Tom asked.

She nodded. “Don’t spare any detail. You said you wanted to talk.” 

 What would he tell her? The truth. 

And so he did. So he told her, from the very first moment he met Cherry, how clueless she was. And how heartbroken he was but how Cherry, being clueless was the only damn thing he needed. Someone who didn’t judge him, someone who didn’t know any of the drama. Not about the script.  Not about y/n and Tom. How Tom could take a breath, and how he found a friend that would ease his mind. How he had searched for y/n in every face but failed to do so. A distraction he needed, and that it had presented itself. How Cherry had been a friend, a friend that didn’t feel like anything more. How Tom did have some sort of feelings. Not love, but he cared for her. 

How Cherry did flirt. How he didn’t. At first. 

Y/N didn't show any reaction, still quiet. No yelling, no eyebrows furrowed, just listening.  Cold staring. 

But Tom continued, connecting the stories he’d already told her about how he missed her, and how much he wanted to call and how he always tried to not think about her. How he had been heartbroken, and how her most than anyone should understand how broken hearts leads us to do something stupid. But how it was because he missed her, how he’d gotten used to her lips, and how he missed waking up beside her. To the night he decided to kiss her. 

“Why did you kiss her?” She finally interrupted. “The first time.” 

“I thought— I—I would— I don’t know what I thought, I… No, I do know, I do know why I kissed her,”  he sighed. “This is going to sound so stupid.” 

“Try me.” 

“I—well—It might make you feel worse.”

She took a deep breath. “Go on.” 

“I—you left, y/n, to get over me,” he explained. “You—“

“What?” 

“I—“ he looked over in his drawers. “You give me this letter and then you left— you said—“

“Yes I know, I meant every single word there—“

“And I was hurt okay? You left and you were living with Tim.” 

“Is that why—?”

“No,” he said, “it wasnt—I just missed you so much—I felt—how you’re feeling right now.” 

She finally snapped out of her calmness. “How I am—no, no, you don’t understand what I’m feeling,” she growled. “Not even half of it, you broke my heart and I—I” she stood up and walked around the room. “And this was the first time I was hoping—I thought you wouldn’t and then you just—I didn’t come here to get over you, it was never like that, I gave myself time to heal so I could love you without any hard feelings and without any—So I could love you completely but then—I knew it just from that one picture I knew you had slept with her, because the eyes—-They way you were fucking looking at her.”

“I know, It’s the way I look at you alright?” 

“I know, I fucking know, don’t you think I was heartbroken?” She asked. 

“I thought that if I looked at her that way eventually I would move one—“

She took a deep breath before asking, “and why did you want to move on?”

Because he thought she would, for starters. But he wouldn’t bring Tim up. No, he couldn’t 

“I didn’t—I—I didn’t—I never felt anything, I—searched for you?” He continued. 

She scoffed. “With my cousin Tom? Was that the most familiar thing?”

Yeah, he heard it. It was so stupid. 

He sighed. “I’m not proud of it.”

“Well I hope you aren’t—You don’t get it, I was ready to—call you that day, the day I found out,” she gulped and sat back down, far from him not facing him, “I was doing better, and I wanted to call you so we could—try again and I remember going back to social media and I was—going to call you alright? See how you were doing,” she spoke quietly. “And I saw the picture and then I knew it—no one had to tell me, and then it was days and days going on and I tried to move on and the sky was just grey, no silver moon suns, I couldn’t sleep I couldn’t feel anything I just felt insignificant and like an idiot because—“

“I didn’t love her,” Tom said. 

“It’s not only that Tom, whatever you did, whatever you said...whatever you—you made her fall for you,” y/n said. “Because you looked at her—You looked at her like you—looked at me and I—“

“No, I didn’t mean it,” Tom said before rushing over to her side, trying to reach for her hand. She snapped it away. 

“Oh, and that fixes everything,” she rolled her eyes. “All good now, you slept with her but you didn’t mean it!” She stood up. 

“I slept with her because I couldn’t call you,” he explained. 

“You couldn’t hold your dick for five seconds?” She hissed. 

“You—look I’m not trying to—You also slept with Tim,” he stated. Finally throwing the bomb at her.knowing he shouldn’t have but he couldn’t hold it anymore. She blinked, watching him. “No one told me,” Tom answered the question he knew was going through her mind. “No one had to, at first. I assumed you had, and then he confirmed it. But did you?” 

“I did,” she said. Now the blame was not entirely on Tom. But he hadn’t brought it up because of that. 

“I’m not trying to blame you for it,” Tom said. “This is not a war, y/n, I’m just—I am pretty sure the reason you slept with him isn’t as far as the reason as to why I slept with Cherry.” 

She remained quiet.

“I slept with Cherry because I was lonely and I couldn’t find you, I thought that by pretending it was you, it would eventually be you but I was wrong because she’s not near you, and it’s not in her. It’s on me because I am deeply in love with you,” he explained. “My heart felt extremely lonely, and I thought that by pretending to love someone only for one night it would make it feel less pain, I was wrong, it hurt even more.” 

“He told you,” she said. 

“Last night yeah, but but but—I didn’t-“

She shut her eyes closed. “Is that why you—fucking kissed her?“

“I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me,” Tom reminded her. “This is not a war, y/n.” 

“You keep saying she’s the one to kiss you, but I remember clearly that I told you a kiss is always asked, at least with a glance,” she recalled. 

“I didn’t want to kiss her, and I’m sure you saw me push her off.” 

Y/N didn’t say anything. She only paced around the room again, her hands crossed above her chest, barefoot and silent trails. Tom watched her, wanting to know what the hell was going through her mind. She always seemed to always have a thought, usually they were dreams untold and secrets waiting to be whispered. Not now. He knew her mind was slowly deciding whether or not to destroy each other. 

Tom hoped they both had the same mentality. This is not a war, and it seemed to be like that. 

“You’re saying,” she started. “That you didn’t want to kiss her even after Tim told you we slept together.”

“Yes.” 

“You’re saying you didn’t do it to get back at me.” 

“I didn’t do it because—“

“Because you felt guilty,” she ended his sentence but not with what he wanted to say. 

“No, because I don’t want this to be another battle in a war where neither of us wants to win, because we both know it shouldn’t be a war.” 

She stared at him, she wanted to believe him. 

“I did sleep with him,” she stated. “Days after I knew you’d slept with Cherry,” she said. 

Tom felt a punch right into his throat, knowing he would be unable to word out his pain. 

“And I—he had been flirting, we both know he’s in love with me,” she sat beside Tom. “He usually knows how to mend my heart when it’s broken, and I am well aware of that, and—That’s what I needed, someone who would love me, because I felt like shit and he made me feel loved,” she gulped. “That’s the difference, you searched for someone you could love and I searched for someone who could love me.” 

Neither of them said anything.  Both of them assimilating, being careful enough of their words. 

“It’s only fair to ask this question,” Tom said after a while. 

Y/N only glanced. 

“Was he good?” Tom questioned with poison, getting an eye roll from y/n. 

“You see, the reason I asked that question wasn’t the same reason as why you’re asking it,” she pointed out. 

He shrugged. “What was your reason exactly?”

“I don’t want this to be a fight between us,” she continued. 

“What is this, then?” 

“It’s us against the problem, not you against me, Thomas,” she fumed. 

He nodded, “are we finally on that page, then?” 

Y/N didn’t know how to answer. She didn’t know how to handle him, not that he had to be handled but the situation was tarnishing her heart. She had, however, learned well enough that this wasn’t supposed to be them fighting and fighting. She’d thought about it, and though she was enraged, she wanted to solve it. It wasn’t a matter of what, it was a matter of how. The incomprehensible thoughts in her head were roaring too loud for her taste, but her heart, though hurt, wanted to try to get through with this. 

He had remained calm, too, so it didn’t matter for her. 

“Well, I am,” she said. “Or-I don’t, I just don’t know-” 

He watched her. “What do you want?” 

“It’s not simple, Tom, I’m heartbroken but I understand it but then again, of all people it was my cousin, and I don’t-I just showed that I am still not over the whole prank thing.” 

Tom looked away. 

“And I don’t want to go over that, you know? We’ve grown, we’ve-Yes, we’ve broken each other’s hearts, yes, we were idiots, we know that, but we also had feelings for each other--You were my first crush, first kiss, first love, first broken heart, and I don’t know, my reason tells me to let go, but-” 

“But your heart?” 

“My heart doesn’t know, part of it wants to leave and just give up on everything because god knows I can’t have another heartbreak and the other half--very stupid half believes in us.” 

“I believe in us.” 

“I’m not sure I do, look at us,” she sighed. “And I’m angry and I’m-” 

“May I just- we were not together while-” 

“Don’t bring that up,” she quickly interrupted. “No, we weren’t together but--It’s--It’s my cousin! You know what, I’m leaving I can’t-” She headed to the door, but Tom quickly followed after. 

“No, no, let’s talk about this, please,” he said, taking her hands trying to stop her. 

She stopped and turn around. “What can we even talk about this, Tom? We slept with other people who-” 

“We weren’t together,” he said. “You told me to move on-” 

“I didn’t, Tom!” She retorted. “I didn’t, you were the one to say you wanted to see other people, you were the one to suggest moving on.” 

“You left.” 

“I didn’t leave to get away from you,” she said. “You know that, I knew I had to be away, from you, from Harry- and you-” 

“You left with Tim.” 

“No, I didn’t, besides, I didn’t--” 

“Cherry means nothing,” he said. 

“She meant enough to jeopardize us,” she stated. 

He sighed. “I didn’t think there would be us again.” 

Y/N stayed quiet. She knew what he meant. But somehow didn’t know if he meant it by then or if he meant it now. She was tired, though they hadn’t talked as much, it was… exhausting, draining, going over this yet again.

“I know—That’s why I had to go search for someone else’s love because I thought I didn’t have yours anymore,” she said.

“I-well,” she coughed. “I’m not-I don’t think you understand why I’m angry.” 

“I think I do-” 

“No, you don’t, it’s not-that it was her, though yes, she’s my cousin, you really… couldn’t have fucked up more when choosing a rebound,” she said. “It’s--the fact that you thought you could replace me, the fact that you wanted to move on so quickly and I’m not--It’s not the fact that I didn’t want to move on, it’s just that-- You thought she could be me, and--” 

He shook his head. “I wasn’t trying to-” 

“No, you were,” she said, her eyes were tearing down and though he was trying to stop himself from crying, he let some tears fall down too, quietly. 

“I was an idiot,” he said. “But I didn’t think I’d be replacing you--Only a fool would think you’re replaceable.” 

She took a deep breath, avoiding his gaze. “I think that’s what I’ve been--What I’ve always tried to tell you, with… Timothée,” she said, no nicknames needed to be used. “It’s… though I… It’s never been him,” she said. 

“I never used him to replace you, though he was a good distraction, and I needed to… feel… Not replaceable.” She crossed her arms. “However, I’m still pissed off it was my cousin.” 

“Had it been anyone else—?” 

“Don’t go there,” she warned. “It would’ve been just as bad considering the situation. It makes it worse, yes, but you—Looked at her the way you looked at me,” she emphasized. 

He sighed. 

“Yeah, it’s not the same,” she pointed out. “Though I know that had I slept with anyone else you wouldn’t have cared as much.” 

Tom clenched his jaw but nodded defeated. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“Do you want me to explain—?”

“No, I don't need any details, I know enough,” he ranted. “However—I can see you didn’t go to him.” 

“I didn’t.” Y/N didn’t want to go over the details.

“I—have to be honest, kinda got into a fight with him last night,” Tom confessed. 

“I know, Emma told me, and she told me he was okay, that you only pushed him away,” she explained. “I didn’t ask any further but I didn’t ask you because I knew you’d be okay.” 

Tom stayed quiet, not knowing how to proceed. 

“Can we get out of this one?” He asked. 

“Dunno,” she admitted. “ I just know I still love you with every piece of my heart.” 

“I love you, too,” he admitted quietly. 

“I need a break,” She stated. Without any other warning. 

Tom didn’t like the idea, she could tell as he closed his eyes and took her hands. “No, no please, I--If we take another break then it’ll be definitive and-” 

“No I meant—a break from fighting I just—I have a headache I can’t,” she pushed his hands away and walked back. “I just-” She walked past him and headed to the kitchen. She hadn’t lied, she did have a headache, probably from the slight hangover and the lack of sleep, and added the stress and her heartache. It wasn’t her best ime. 

Tom  only followed after her, quietly watching as she poured herself a glass of water. It felt quiet. It was but it felt even more quiet. Y/N went through all the scenarios not sure which was the worst. They all hurt, some more than others. She wished she could erase every thought in her head. 

Tom opened the fridge, there was still cake that remained from two nights before, when they were still better. He took it out, and without thinking about it, he took out two plates, serving each a slice. She gave him a silent thanks, and then, they both remained on opposite sides of the kitchen. 

Though y/n usually found his hoodies warm, her skin was freezing. There had never been that much space between them though they were only feet apart. Because, though it was even what they’d done, they both knew that there was not much to do. Y/N would love to snap her fingers, hide all her pain and kiss him. To assure him that she loved him as much, wondering if their broken pieces of love was enough. 

“Where’s James?” Y/N asked, hating the sound of the cutlery hitting the plates. 

Tom looked up, “He left, he’d spend the day with Clark and Sam.” 

“So he’s on your side,” y/n pointed out. “Though there’s not really a side here.” 

“He’s not on my side.” 

She shrugged. “He said you had an awful night.” 

“I did but, so did you.” 

“Yeah.” 

He watched her. “In any case my brother is on your side.” 

She looked down at the cake. “He is.” 

Tom let out a dry chuckle. “Hey, I thought there were no sides.” 

“No, but he is on my side,” she said. 

Tom only scoffed. 

“I feel sorry for him actually, I think he was just leaving to go home to sleep and I made him stay up all night with me,” she admitted. 

“Yeah but it’s you so he doesn’t mind,” Tom said. 

She shrugged. “Emma kissed Josh,” she mentioned. 

“She did?” Tom blinked. “Wow, that must have hurt him.” 

Y/N only watched him with irony. 

“I mean,” Tom closed his eyes. 

“No, I know, but yeah, he was,” y/n commented. “I feel bad, I crushed his m&m’s.” 

He chuckled. “What?” 

“I-well, we had some m&m’s and I… crushed them,” she admitted with a tired, half smile. 

“Why?” 

“I was having a breakdown alright?” She chuckled. “And he went all ‘I wanted m&m’s” 

Tom took a deep breath. “Should get him some.” 

She gulped and saw Tom hadn’t eaten anything either, they were just pushing around the cake. 

Tom watched her, too, still noticing how she hadn’t taken off the ballerina hanging from her neck, and maybe it was the only sign he needed, he left the plate on the kitchen island and walked over, standing right beside her, leaning against the counter. Their arms were against each other’s, and eventually her head fell against him. He didn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms around her, she gave in to his touch, slowly and then hugged him back. Snuggling to get some kind of warmth. 

“You looked pretty last night,” he pointed out. 

She crooked into his neck. “You mentioned it.”

Tom glanced down. “I—yeah, I did.” 

Quiet again. He took a deep breath, and held her close again, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Do you hate me?” He asked. 

“No, that’s the weird thing,” she said, letting him go and taking her spot back beside him. “I can’t  hate you.” 

He grimaced. 

“Being angry doesn’t make me love you any less,” she said. “Do you hate me?” 

“No. I could never. I love you.” 

She bit her lip. “Are we really--?” 

He turned to her. “What?” 

“Or are we just being stubborn enough to not want to give up?” She asked. “I… don’t know.” 

“I don’t want to lose you and the thought of it scares me enough,” he gulped. “And I… Before I run out of time to say the things I want to, I just need you to know that I’d choose you, though there are no other options, it all comes back to you.” 

Her eyes brightened up, just slightly. “It’s hard, Tom, I don’t know, but I don’t want to give up, but-” 

“I know,” Tom looked at her. 

It was so unbelievably hard. What if this was really their last time, that’s what they were both thinking but neither had the courage to ask it out loud. Love is so cruel. 

“Yet after everything, I’ve never loved anyone like I’ve loved you,” y/n said, mostly to herself. “And I am sorry I left in the first place.” 

“No, you had to, we had to…” He sighed. “We both made questionable things.” 

She didn’t want to break up with him. She didn’t want her days to run out of breath again, to see the streets full of garbage and she didn’t want to water any flowers that he hadn’t given her. And she wondered if they’d dare to call it off yet again life would find a way to bring them back together. 

“I don’t want to go back to… that feeling, when we were apart,” she finally said it out loud. She wouldn’t regret saying it, right? “Nightless and sunless days, and how time never stopped or it never kept going, it was just eternal… numbness.” 

Tom blinked, watching her. 

“But I also,” she sighed. “I don’t want this pain.” 

“Were you expecting it?” 

“What?” 

“The heartbreak?”

“I wasn’t, maybe that’s why it hit that hard… I guess I… Maybe I did, I just postponed it, thought that if I ignored it for long enough it would disappear.” 

“What will happen, then?” 

“I don’t know, these are relentless times, for now, try and haunt for reasons to make me believe I am still alive,” she gulped. “It sounds so dramatic but last night I just…” She felt that pain across her chest again. “I thought I had stopped breathing I…And it wasn’t the kiss really.” 

“What was it?” 

“The fact I remembered you had slept with her,” she said. “And that picture—“

He bit his lip, “I didn’t… You are the love of my life.” 

She chuckled softly to herself. “See? People only say that when they’re apologizing.” 

He sighed. “But-” 

“But you are mine, too,” she admitted. “Better or for worse.”

She didn’t know where he had gotten the courage to do it, but he had finally leaned over to kiss her. And it wasn’t idyllic, it wasn’t a happy kiss, but it was the reminder they needed, as if the kiss was only to remind why it was worth trying again. Y/N knew she was being an idiot, honestly. 

But only another fool would stop kissing him, and so she didn’t stop, because she knew this could be the last time. Tom probably thought so, too. Knowing about a last kiss can make it last longer and can make them both never letting go. Y/N just needed one last reminder than though her heart was aching and it had finally been ripped apart, she still had to believe that he loved her. Because he’d said it, right? And he was proving it to her with each kiss, caressing her cheeks, cupping her face, so delicately and so passionately. 

He didn’t want to let go, either. His hands went to her waist, pulling her as close as he could. Their lips were going so, very slowly. He pulled away once, only for her to keep kissing his chin, cheeks and finally his lips, so slowly, her arms around his neck. Neither of them were desperate, each stroke was measured, taking their time. As if they were dawdling and postponing the thoughts in their minds. Soothing their most probable goodbye. 

Y/N kissed him as if they were going to be infinite. As if no matter what would happen, they’d always be there. The kissing started to seem careless at some point, as if it didn’t matter how they were kissing anymore, it just mattered to have their lips connected, getting sloppier as his hands travelled under her-his sweatshirt to touch her skin, so cold. His hands landed on her waist. 

“You’re cold,” he pointed out in between kisses. 

She only pulled away, as if only then she realized what they were doing. He didn’t stop, his lips kept trailing its way all over her face, small, slow and soft kisses sweet enough for her to close her eyes. Gentle pecks, trying to gently cover each and every spot on her face. Y/n knew Tom had never been good with his words, he was more of actions, always being impulsive, and this showed it, his tender lips against her skin was his way of apologizing, of making her feel loved. 

However she had to back away. She had to be rational, she couldn’t let him just kiss her and forget about everything. 

She did back away. Because her mind couldn’t stop. It kept going back to him. To Cherry. And even to Tim. The latter being as if asking why she had done it herself. 

And she only tried to untangle herself from his grasp, he didn’t force it. He understood as she slowly walked her way back to his room. A place where she felt safer than in the kitchen. Not sure why. 

He stopped her mid-halfway, his chocolate eyes begging her again, pleading for an apology. Y/n couldn’t help it, his eyes were her biggest addiction. And so she gave in to him again, because though she loved using words and she knew it was her most powerful weapon, this was no battle, and so she’d kiss him to speak her truth. 

He slowly pressed her against the wall, his fingers traced her figure, sides, top and bottom, gently as if trying to memorize her shape, but as if his fingers already knew the path. Her breath halted as his lips brushed against her neck, soothing her cold body. He pressed his whole body against hers, and his hands found their way back inside her hoodie, fingers firmly pressing against her waist, threading lightly. She felt like they could be infinite if they tried to, if they wanted to. And just for that moment as his lips were finding their way back to hers, she forgot about her pain. 

His lips were meant to be with hers. There was no other way to say it. 

Somehow he managed to get her to his room, she was uncertain if she should keep kissing him. But there's something about each kiss that made them both not want to stop. Y/N had closed the door, though, Y/N felt like this was the last time. Did he think it was too and was that why he was being so delicate?

Pining for each other as he gently laid her down, he looked at her the way someone looked at the sky at night, as if he had first seen the stars for the very first time and was wondered by her. They were sharing a secret, they both knew. 

Desire was beyond his eyes as his hand travelled from her covered ankle, shriveling through her legs up all the way to her covered chest. She longed for his skin to be once against hers. But he was taking his time, trying to make sure she knew she was the only one he wanted to kiss. He then proceeded to take the same path with his lips as if he had meticulously painted it before. Placing soft pecks or running his lips against the covered skin. Y/N closed her eyes, as an inescapable  soothing pleasure washed her, not lust, his gentle poke sprinkling her with delight. 

He finally glanced up to her, his thumb gently rubbing circles on her cheek, his eyes linking with her, his eyelashes going up and down, pouring directly at her lips, her eyes. 

“I love you,” he stated, not expecting an answer back, as if it was merely an observation he was making to himself. One of those thoughts that escapes the mouth and dares to be said out loud.

“I love you,” he said again, now less as an observation but as a reminder to him, as if he was scolding himself. 

Her hands went to his face, brushing his cheeks. She wanted to say it back, too, but something stopped her. 

But she was thinking about it, she knew that. She felt it. 

But her heart didn’t want her to say it, as if saying it would be a sin. Why was she letting him kiss her? She could stop him. 

She didn’t want to stop him, that is. But her mind was so loud she could barely focus, and she didn’t have to focus.  

But then again, he was part of her own skin, her faith, her—everything. And though she knew this could be a mistake, it could be the last time and she wanted to make it last. Something to remember because they didn’t have anything to cling to. 

She waited for him, like the moon waits for the night, as his thumb then caressed her lips, preparing them only to tamper them with his. It was no secret that each kiss he gave her was unique but he had kissed her like never before. 

*

Though it was so familiar, the way she knew what he was going to do next as his hands went down to toy with the hem of her hoodie, shyly asking for permission just to go beneath it. But slowly he was pulling it up, with her help and then proceeded to take off his. Though slow they were both desperate to be against each other’s skin, the clothes burdened them and they both slowly decided to take them off, they looked better on the floor anyway. 

Y/N didn’t feel cold anymore though she was bare, only with her underwear  as Tom repeated what he’d done before, kissing his way from her thighs to her neck, burying himself there. She tried to turn him around so she could kiss him just as fine but he didn’t let her, his hand searched for hers as he linked them. 

She finally managed to push and roll him, now it was she’d time to memorize his own body, her fingers tickled him as she sat on top of him to watch him, they gently brushed against his stomach, his chest, barely even touching, just a tender grasp. His hands landed on her waist as he watched her, her hands exploring his body, all the way to his arms, he only gulped watching her as she felt the bulge grow beneath her, she hummed a chuckled before bending down to get his lips back to hers, delayed movements as she grinded against him, his hands went down to cup her ass, helping her rock and he bucked his hips to her. 

They had absolutely no hurry though their bodies were indicating the exact opposite, hiding their gentle moan against each kiss. 

“I love you,” she finally had whispered to him, but it sounded more like a goodbye that Tom didn’t want to hear yet. 

With his hands now going to her back, he turned her around, him on top as he reached to the nearest drawer. 

The unspoken words they both hid were agonizing but they knew they had to be kept unspoken. 

For now, at least. 

As he opened the drawer y/n could see the inside of it. She caught a glimpse of the letter she’d given him. But he finally found the condom and wrapped it on the hard that his boxers had been no help on hiding. 

Y/N only watched him position himself as he then looked up asking for a sort of permission, she only bit her lip as she tuck her hands behind her and finally took off her bra, he licked his lips and tooka deep breath, staring at the ballerina necklace in between each breast, he teased her with the tip and she arched her back. 

She bit her bottom lip, he slowly inserted into her, she let out a gasp with fascination as he filled her up, her hands landed on his back bringing him to her, nails digging crescent moons on him, he closed his eyes, throwing his head back. 

He draped her breasts with his hands before slowly rocking against her, their breaths fanning against the other, but it lingered and she wrapped her legs against him, toes curling with each  very move as she bucked herself against him, not holding back any moan and now as he sloppily tried to kiss her, not getting it and just lazily pecking her chin, her neck, sucking gently. Hands gliding up and down. She managed to get a grip of him as she bit his lower lip, so intoxicated by each other it’s almost pathetic. 

And their horrible thoughts had finally ceased—for a bit because they only needed each other, knowing that though what had happened had angered them, they belonged to each other, tangled into one, with sloppy kisses and messy movements, hearing their moaning as if they were a melody they could never get tired of. Soft grunts, struggling to keep any other kind of thought as they’re washed with pleasure. 

Thrust after thrust, lackadaisical at points where they’re not even caring, finger pressed to each other, vibrating each time, impossible for y/n to keep still as he drove in each time deeper. Hands still gentle but he is burning intensely against her, her irregular movements against his hip drive her close to the edge. 

He even had to clench to the headboard to get a steadier rhythm, but his other hand deliberately made sure that no part of her body remained untouched. The friction on each movement made y/n moan his name breathily. 

Tom groaned at his name and went in deeper, saying her name, in a faint whisper, fearing he’d run out of chances to say it again, and then his tongue connected with her flesh. 

“I can’t lose you,” he confessed breathily, tainted with love, finally saying what they’d both been thinking the whole time, but proud enough and—probably horny enough not to say it. 

The only response she can give him is a truthful “I love you, so much.” Because there was nothing more to it. She wasn’t sure if they were going to lose each other. “I don’t want to lose you,” she sentenced. Because that was another fact. 

Somehow that makes them go faster and more desperate, his hand stretching to go over where he needs him to be. Gasps, groans, grunts and moans combined with other words of praise to each other, senseless confessions of love that are enough to keep them going. 

Y/N didn't even realize with what push she finally reached her high, but with pleasure he kept going as she had let out a bright moan that had perfectly spelled his name. He followed after not so long, crashing against her one last time before he had to stop and not twitch against her, not pulling out as he plopped above her. Chests shimmering with sweat as they’re synchronizing their breathing, halt panting as she finds a hand through his hair, curling up with sweat. He finally pulled out and plopped right beside her. 

**

It gave her time to think then, right beside each other, quietly hearing each other breathing, covered in each other sweat. He pulled her close to him as her hand landed on his chest. She kept her lips pressed against him still, and his own lips were pecking her forehead. 

Neither of them wanted to say anything because they both knew that talking would lead to somewhere where they didn’t  want to go. Because talking had been all they've done before that and there had been no “I love you”s and there was no “I don’t want to lose you.” Talking meant they did want to lose each other and talking meant they still were angry. 

But they had to. And y/n was there, confused as how easily she gave up to him, hours ago she was crying and yelling, and her heart still ached but she was still sure she couldn’t keep herself from him. Plus, there was the fact he was directing her script. The one film she had dreamed of and now was a nightmare. What was she supposed to do? 

End the relationship? 

Weren’t they supposed to be infinite? 

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[writingtoforgetreality]

Too Close To Home (Malcolm Bright x Reader)

Request: Hi! I'd like to request a Malcolm Bright x reader or OFC story. Malcolm and the reader know each other since a few years. The reader has grown up in an abusive family and also has anxiety. They spend more time together cuz of a case. When the reader gets into danger, Malcolm saves her. He guides her home afterwards. First he doesn't want to come in but then they spend the night together (smutty or not, whatever you prefer). Afterwards they experience the most peaceful sleep they've had in ages :) (by @angelicastiel), [Prodigal Son-Masterlist]

Summary: Another case you & your team got to work on. This time, though, the backstory of the killer hit a bit too close to home. Still, you wanted to get the job done & arrest the murderer. There would have been a better, less dangerous way, but you could not change your actions anymore. And maybe you got something out of it. Something you had been wanting for the longest time.

Words: 3,827

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, angst, language, probably spoilers for season 2, father figure!Gil, little kidnapping situation, talks of murder (I mean, it’s Prodigal Son), first time writing for Prodigal Son (even though I do feel kinda confident writing for it, idk…let me know what you think)

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Being part of Gil Arroyo’s team was a dream coming true. Your years in college were spent working your ass off in order to end up in a job like that. Not only did Gil give you a place to work, he also took you under his wing. Talking about your past was something you dreaded but somehow you found yourself opening up to him. He knew about your parents & could tell when things started becoming too much for you. Throughout your time at the NYPD, you got closer with your team. Dani & JT had become your best friends. Malcolm, on the other hand, had been a different case. While the two of you sure were friendly with one another, you slowly developed a little crush on the profiler. Who were you kidding? You had the biggest crush, it was kind of embarrassing. Especially because Dani & JT teased the living hell out of you. Luckily, Gil had yet to notice. You did not want to bring private business into your job.

This case had been a tough one. Not only that but it hit too close to home for your liking. The killer you had been looking for left you a letter at the crime scene. It was a man who had been abused by his parents when he was younger. In that letter, he explained why he did what he did. Like, yeah, you came from an abusive household, too, but you were not running around, murdering a what looked like innocent man. Like, chill a bit. Gil pulled you a few feet away from the scene after you all had finished reading. This left Dani, JT & Edrisa alone with looking for more details. Malcolm was still nowhere to be found, even though all of you had tried calling him a couple of times.

“Maybe you should sit this one out.” Gil’s hand was on your shoulder, keeping you an arm’s distance away to take a look at your face. He knew right away that you were thinking about your own parents & sometimes things could be messy if private stuff got mixed up with work stuff. Again the reason why you kept your feelings for Malcolm at bay.

“Gil.” you sighed. “I’ll be fine. Besides, you guys need me.” Gil hated to admit it but you were right. The team was lost without you & nobody knew if your killer was planning another crime while you were inspecting this scene. A voice interrupted your conversation & both, you & Gil, looked at where it was coming from. Would you look at that. Malcolm, everyone. Fashionably late, as always. Why did he have to look so good though? Ugh…

“I heard there was another murder? What have we got?” Malcolm, being his usual self when it came to crime scenes, directed his questions at both of you.

“You would know if you decided to show up sooner.” Gil gave him a tight lipped smile & you could hear the sarcasm in his statement. Yeah, nobody could ever stay mad at Malcolm for a long time. Except maybe JT. But he seemed like he was just pissed off by whatever Malcolm did. That was why they were such great friends.

“The guy left us a letter, kind gesture, right? Edrisa should have it.” your arms crossed over your chest to hide how bad your hands were shaking. The action did not go unnoticed by Malcolm, though. He could tell you were uncomfortable. Your anxiety seemed even worse than usually. It was not like you ever opened up to Malcolm about your struggles. You had found it hard to talk about your feelings, even when you talked to Gil. But since Gil had become some sort of father figure to you, you found it a little easier to open up to him. The thing was that Malcolm was working even when he was not working. Which meant that he was profiling others even outside of work. It was not hard to notice your trembling hands, your bouncing legs, your struggle to keep eye contact. He could tell that your anxiety was bad. Most days, you hid it rather well, he had to give you that. A normal person would have never noticed anything wrong with your behavior. Malcolm, though, knew better & while he did not know what had happened to you in the past, he knew you were struggling nevertheless. But he could worry about you another time, for now, he had to focus on the crime scene.

As Malcolm walked over to where Edrisa was standing, you pulled at Gil’s hand, motioning him to follow you. Edrisa handed over the letter & explained briefly what they had found so far. You knew what was about to come. As did everyone else, so you quieted down & let the profiler do his job.

“Our dear murderer wrote the letter after he killed James here. The ink is too fresh & some of the letters are smudged. The printer in the office was still running when you got here, right?” this earned him a nod from Edrisa. “No fingerprints, though, he was smart enough to wear gloves. Which brings me to my assumption that he had planned this long beforehand. The bruises show that he was strangled & while we still have to wait for the autopsy, I’m almost entirely sure that he was killed because of that. I believe the stab wounds were caused after he died. The way his words were written sounds way too passionate for an accident. No, this guy, he was enjoying it. If it were an accident, he would have left the scene way sooner. But he took the time to type a letter & print it, to complete his mission by laying it right on top of our victim’s chest.” Malcolm finished & looked around to find everyone rolling their eyes except for you. Whenever he started rambling & piecing evidence together, you simply stood there mesmerized. This time was not different. His eyes met yours & he shot you a little smile which you copied.

“Anything else you wanna tell us? Like, why you’re way too excited about this entire thing?” JT spoke up. You gave him a little slap & chuckled.

“Don’t act like it’s something new.” laughing when you looked at his face.

“Okay, guys. Wrap it up here, we need to continue this at the precinct.” Gil’s authority voice came through & you all knew better than to mess with him.

Malcolm, Dani & JT were already in one of the offices when you & Gil came in. Usually, you asked Gil to take you everywhere, mostly because you got rather shaky during cases & you did not trust yourself enough to drive on your own. Gil told you he did not mind at all.

“Found anything useful?” you asked when you entered & looked over JT’s shoulder to make out what he was doing on his laptop. Malcolm stood at the front of the room, right in front of the whiteboard & was too busy sorting his thoughts to even notice you. Dani told you that they had no luck just yet & soon you found yourself helping them with research, something you were incredibly good at. Gil had left for a while but when he got back, he brought each of you a cup of coffee, knowing it was bound to be a long night without much rest. Being the stubborn person that you were, you declined his request of you calling it a night & heading back home. You were onto something & could not stop right now. Gil let the topic die down with a long sigh. The five of you spent the entire night looking for clues & connections & by the time the sun started rising, you had a plan filed out to catch the killer.

After hours of research, mostly from you, you found out that the victim had very wealthy parents. Parents who loved their kid like nothing else. Parents who would do anything for their kid. Checking his social media profiles, you could tell that he was not silent about his wealth or the love he felt for his parents. “Enough to get our killer started.” Malcolm had said. It took you a while but after checking James’ classmates, you had a suspect & after checking his social media accounts, you knew where you had to go to catch him. Sometimes, things could be so easy, so clear to see. Probably a bad idea to expect you were right with everything but you had a good feeling. Yet, you could not quite understand how someone could kill just because of envy. Just because they did not have what someone else did.

Your suspect spent almost all of his evenings in a local pub, not too far away from the precinct. It was a small pup, not a lot of people, but since it was Friday, you expected it to be filled tonight.

“Why does (Y/N) have to be bait again?” Malcolm asked after discussing the plan yet another time.

“Because she looks more like a guest of a pub like that. You would be out of place, so would Dani & JT.” Gil reasoned. He did not like the idea either but it was probably the best shot they had.

“Right, because if I make an effort I can actually look like an alcoholic. Is that what you’re saying?” despite your chuckle, you found yourself growing more & more nervous. Malcolm noticed right away, didn’t comment on it though.

“What I’m saying is that we all want this asshole locked up & I don’t want you to look like an alcoholic. I want you to go there as if you just got done with work for the day. Take a seat at the bar. We’ll be connected with you this entire time, we’ll hear your conversation. Wait a little & if he doesn’t approach you then you will. Understood?” Gil looked around the room, kept his focus on you, though, & when you nodded he told you all to head off & get this party started.

 “You’re nervous.” you flinched when you heard a voice beside you. Malcolm. Of course.

“I’m not. Just preparing myself.” you did not mean to sound this harsh but he did not really pay attention to that.

“So your shaking hands are a form of preparation?” he teased but you could not focus on his way of calming you right now. Your anxious mind was killing you.

“Look, Mal, I need to go, okay? We’ll talk later.” & before he even had the chance to answer, you were sprinting off.

Ordering a strong drink at the bar in the hopes of it calming your nerves, you tried acting as if you did go out every night. In fact, you were highly uncomfortable. Crowds made your anxiety act up & pubs were usually worse. Drunk people wanting to get laid or whatever. It just was not your world. Anyway, you had better things to focus on. Your suspect had already walked up to the bar & took, much to your dismay, a seat too far away from you to start an actual conversation. Quickly informing your team, an idea popped into your head. He would start taking an interest in you if you got him to grow envious. So without overthinking, you grabbed your phone from your purse & pretended dialing someone.

“Hi mom! How are you?” as much as it hurt saying those words, you felt accomplished when you noticed the suspect’s eyes on you. “Great, as always! We still on for lunch tomorrow?...Perfect! Actually, I wanted to thank you for the purse you got me! I found the package earlier today, you are crazy. That’s way too much.” if it were not for your job at the NYPD, you would make one hell of an actor. Deep down, your heart was breaking a little more with each word you said. “Oh? I’m your favorite daughter? I’m your only daughter, mom, but thanks.” you gave a genuine, or at least you hoped it sounded genuine, laugh & continued. The man had already made his way over to you & took the empty seat next to you. You had him, not fully but almost. Just keep going, you thought to yourself. “Tell dad I miss him, too! I’ll make sure to meet up with him soon. A much needed father-daughter weekend. It has been too long…Alright, I love you too, bye.” you ended your call & placed the phone back into your purse. Gil would kill you after you finished this case. Once again you were improvising but at least it got you here, sitting next to a possible killer. Possible killer? No, you knew it was him. He made it rather obvious after that fake phone call. Thinking about what you had just said on the phone got cut short by the man beside you speaking up.

“Sounds like a nice mom.” a drink in his hand, his gaze not focused on you but on the liquid in his glass.

“Oh, she’s the best. I’m lucky to have her. Same goes for my dad.” these words hurt so bad & if you were not so focused on arresting this asshole you would have started breaking down right in the middle of this bar.

“I’m Enrico, by the way.” he held out his hand for you to shake which you did.

“(Y/N).” faking another smile at him, you were surprised that your silly plan actually seemed to work. This dude was desperate. And it made him extremely dangerous.

“(Y/N), wanna head out & catch some fresh air? This pub is filling up.” he placed money on the counter, paying for not only his but also your drink. Thanking him, you got up. When his hand grabbed yours, you slightly flinched but did not pull away. The thought of your team waiting outside with handcuffs made you breathe easier. Arriving outside did not exactly put your mind at ease. Where was your team? Just when you wanted to turn around, you felt a strong grip around your waist & a cloth being held in front of your nose & mouth. There was not even enough time to scream before you were met with darkness.

Loud voices woke you up. A gunshot. Shit, why could you not move? Where the fuck were you? Looking down at your wrists, you saw them being chained tightly to a chair. Suddenly, a person was kneeling in front of you & you were surprised to find Gil helping you out of the chains. His mouth was moving but your heartbeat was too loud to make out any other noises.

“Have you got him?” Gil rolled his eyes at your question but soon after, nodded. This could have ended badly for you & he was just happy to see you alive & breathing.

“You hurt?” this time his voice was more serious. He looked you over but besides the bruises on your wrists, you seemed fine. Shaking your head no was enough for him to drop it for now.

“That was stupid, (Y/N). We could’ve walked in there & just arrested him in that damn pub. Why did you think it was a good idea to start this whole pretending thing?”

“Could we please not do this today, Gil? I’m tired.” you felt ashamed, embarrassed that you did not handle the situation better. Usually, you were way more careful when it came to other cases. You could not even tell why you thought you needed to act out an entire scene. It felt like the right decision at the time.

“Malcolm? Come over here.” Gil decided to let you rest for tonight but he sure as hell would teach you a lesson tomorrow. He could not have another person risking everything & acting irresponsible. He already had Malcolm. No need to have another one like him.

“(Y/N)? Oh, thank God.” Malcolm came jogging over to where you & Gil were. A small smile started forming, signaling that you were fine.

“Take her home with you. She shouldn’t be alone tonight.” & with that he left you & Malcolm alone.

Two hands came into view & you let yourself be pulled up into a standing position. Malcolm still held onto you since your legs were on the verge of giving out. After a few seconds, though, you felt steady enough & thanked him for helping you. Without another word, he took your hand in his & dragged you outside to his car. Any other day, you would have blushed like crazy but your exhaustion was overpowering your crush. Malcolm opened the passenger side for you & helped you in. Then, he got around to the driver’s side. His body turned towards you & when you noticed that the car still had not been started, you found Malcolm staring at you. Your eyebrows shot up in confusion. After a long pause & a deep breath of his, Malcolm’s voice broke the silence in the car.

“That was-“

“Stupid, I know. Gil already told me.” usually, you would have sounded sarcastic but tonight, you did not have the strength to try & act like you were fine. Because if you were honest, everything that had happened got you thinking. Not that you could have died but everything that had happened with your parents. How awful they treated you. How abusive they were. Not trying to start another conversation, Malcolm started the engine & drove up to his apartment. Gil’s order, after all. Though, he had to admit that he liked the idea of you being close to him. Hell, he could have lost you today. He could have lost you & you still had no idea about his feelings for you. Simply because he was too much of a coward when push came to shove.

The car ride was silent & the tension could have been cut with a knife. Once or twice you almost started talking, wanting to explain yourself. Why you were so exhausted. It was not the first time you got close to death but it was certainly the first time where your past came catching up. Each time, though, you chickened out.

“I’m sorry.” it was you who spoke up first when you entered Malcolm’s apartment.

“What for?” Malcolm turned his focus back to you.

“I made this case unnecessarily hard for you guys. I should’ve handled it better. It’s just…this thing with this fake phone call, it was…fuck, how do I say this?” the last part you mumbled to yourself but when Malcolm spoke up again, you knew he had heard you.

“It’s okay. Gil told me about your parents. I get it, I do. I probably would’ve done the same thing & then it would’ve been you & Gil telling me I was stupid.” you chuckled lightly & Malcolm was happy that you were not mad at him for knowing about your past. He had been aware of your struggles before, now he could finally tell where they were coming from.

Strangely, you felt a weight lifted off your shoulders, now that Malcolm knew. At least you knew he would never judge you, he had his own…familial issues after all. Tears started forming in your eyes & you tried blinking them away angrily, frustrated that you were losing it now even though the situation had been dealt with.

“Come here.” Malcolm opened his arms & you gladly accepted the invitation. Throwing yourself onto him like your life depended on it. His arms wrapped strongly around you. Not in an uncomfortable way, more like in a comforting way. The two of you simply stood in the middle of his apartment, not saying anything, he let you cry it all out & in that moment, it was all you needed.

“Thank you. Sorry for messing up your shirt.” a quiet laugh escaped you. It was not much but it was a good start.

“It’s no problem, really. Here, I’ll bring you some clothes to sleep in, I’m sure you don’t wanna sleep in work clothes?” Malcolm opened one of his drawers & grabbed a basic t-shirt & some sweatpants. Not much but definitely way more comfortable than what you were wearing right now. This was not your first time being at Malcolm’s home so you helped yourself & moved into his bathroom to take a quick shower & change into his clothes. It only took you about ten minutes, you were craving sleep.

“You can take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.” Malcolm was setting up his couch to sleep on when you came out of the bathroom.

“Nope, forget it. I wont let you take that couch.” you argued.

“Hey, it’s a comfortable couch!” he defended his way too expensive piece of furniture.

“What about your restraints?”

“Don’t need them when you’re around.” Malcolm let slip without much thought. Only when you tilted your head & raised your eyebrows did he realize what he had just said. “I mean…I don’t know. I’m usually much calmer when I’m with you.” It was funny to see Malcolm trying to explain himself. He was embarrassed but you were putting a stop to it right away.

“Okay, so I guess it would help even more when you’re right next to me, am I right? Your bed is big enough, Mal.” your sweet smile was convincing enough & soon you found yourself laying on one side of the bed while Malcolm was occupying the other.

For a few minutes, neither of you moved or said anything. The silence was not uncomfortable, the situation was still new for the both of you. Yet, you knew what you wanted. What you needed. So you grabbed one of Malcolm’s hands, turned around & let his arm fall around your waist. This action caught him off guard but he relaxed into the new position quickly. While the both of you still had not confessed, this felt like a step into the right direction. You felt safe in his embrace & knew you could be your true self with him. No hiding whatsoever. That thought made you smile. Exhaustion soon took over but the last words you heard before falling into a peaceful slumber were: Sleep well, (Y/N). I’ve got you. Afterwards, he pressed a light kiss on your shoulder & fell asleep himself. Tonight, your struggles could be forgotten. At least for a few hours until morning came around. Then, you still had enough time to deal with whatever was happening between you & Malcolm. Tomorrow, you could deal with your past some more. But right now, all you wanted was to have a peaceful night & Malcolm could give you just that.

Published (03/25/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @fandom-queen67, @cons-tit-ution, @where-thesundoesntshine, @itsanemu0101, @chill-fangirl, @angelnyx, @octopus5555, @the-unknown-fan-girl (thanks for your support <3 - sorry if I tagged you mistakenly/please let me know if I did)

[jung-koook]

i know that on twitter you need like a manager or company to vouch for you now. but i'm still confused cause sometimes people who are unknown are verified. you also need proof that you are you. or that you get high engagements you have to have logged more than once in last 6 months. not have any violations of any rules (no giving out private info on anyone including you, no fights on twitter, no spam ect ect) not have been suspended for 12 hours, 7 days or more. that you've been mentioned in articles or are googleable. you can not be some kind of fan account whether updates or just normal. and have to have a public account at the time you apply for it. (once you have it you can go priv) you can lose the badge so easily though. as easy as taking a social media hiatus for 6 months. or breaking twitter rules if extreme they will immediately remove your account and if you act up more they'll ban you.

instagram i googled it idk the exact rules i never tried on instagram. but basically Your account must represent a real person, registered business or entity. ... Only one account per person Your account must be public and have a bio, profile photo and at least one post. and you need to give them a government i'd to prove you're you or your business is yours you need to prove youre a popular search and that you've been mentioned in multiple news articles idk the other rules. (weird i once saw someone with 900 followers had a verified check) (when i googled it they say those rules are relatively new so idk what old ones are)

but on spotify i hear it's relatively easy. all you need is access to spotify for artists you don't need to reach any milestones anymore (it was 250 followers) they said you'll use a personal to edit the verified one. you just need to make it through artist page i don't have the links but ive stumbled across it once by accident. they say then you or your management team (which is what i think bts uses) can edit it make playlist post playlist change images ect ect. they say you don't lose the verified or take it away even if you don't use it. so the fact that account is no longer verified tells me all i need to know about it. that it's been proven fake by spotify. which means actual jungkook may have a harder time getting verified now unless bighit/hybe does it for him directly even then might be a little push back unless there's direct communication on whoever does the verifying and high ups of spotify and his company and their high ups and probably quite a bit of proof of jungkook and his company being who they are.. him himself? it'll be difficult.

this is really annoying omg spotify needs to change the way they are verifying the accounts there NOW. i heard that you can pay to have your account verified on instagram. and when you pay for it you get the verified account really fast.

[formulatrash]

As a journalist what do you think the solution to the Lewis press questions vs everyone else’s press questions? Just because he has once again been asked about the Osaka situation and while I understand that’s because he’s far more vocal about these issues than anyone else while the other drivers were posting about BLM they still weren’t asked about it so I feel like it is an actual issue.

aiiii I am so tired and have been so busy I have not done any asks for ages but ok yeah this one is timely (and matches one from earlier that I'm gonna kinda answer here too)

I think with the Osaka thing it is more of a fair question, because Lewis had tweeted in support of her and none of the other drivers had. So in that sense, I think he had declared he was interested in having the conversation and had opinions to contribute to it. Of course, as a fellow athlete of colour, he's got an opinion that it's interesting to listen to about some of Osaka's experiences and a platform on which he can choose to share it.

Where, to me, it gets weirder is when he's eg: asked about Palestine. Is Lewis Palestinian? No. He himself has publicly admitted not knowing very much about it at all and needing to educate himself before he commented. Aside from being able to say "hey turns out we really don't get much information about this, so it's good to educate yourself" he can't really provide much insight.

Great that he then went on to support the Palestinian cause. However, in the context of that conflict he is Literally Just Some Guy. It's absolutely nowhere near his areas of expertise or experience and any attempt to link it to them would be straight-up bizarre, if not tasteless. (if Palestinian people wanted to draw their own parallels, that's different)

But there is, unquestionably, a thing where people want Lewis - because he engages with some causes - to be the moral compass for F1 on every matter, regardless of whether it's something he's likely to have insight to give on.

I work in a relatively political championship. All our drivers are expected to be able to speak about climate change, by default of being in Formula E. If one couldn't come up with an answer on it you'd be a bit like "err, have you, err, noticed where you are?"

Let's take the example of Lucas (di Grassi) who isn't shy at all of getting political or indeed philosophical on his social media. Because of that, he's an easy person to ask about things that he's tweeted about - or, idk, I find it easy to talk to him about these things. Whether it's being like "oi Lucas what is with the Bolsonaro support" or concerns about the future of mobility.

Some of that's because I find Lucas extremely easy to talk to but also because he quite openly states those as potential discussion topics. Do some of those involve vulnerabilities specific to Lucas? Yes, of course; when he talks about Brazilian politics and I'm asking him about it, I'm the gormless European prodding at something I have a very dim understanding of and am very uneducated about.

On that level, however, I at least am never asking him fundamental questions about his right to be allowed to express his opinion. It will never be "Lucas said he cared about the Amazon but he didn't say anything about the great Pacific plastic island" or whatever. Some of its his lower profile and a lot of its that if he isn’t fundamentally exposing a lot of people in sports - and the wider world - as bigoted then the pearl-clutching desire to find a reason what he’s saying isn’t true is much less.

When Lewis expresses an opinion, like about Osaka, people whatabout it completely to try and invalidate his genuine expertise. Oh he only cares about Osaka but - and this was a comment I yote into the sun off RaceFans earlier - he ~never cares about white athlete's mental health.~ Aside from being manifestly rubbish (he has publicly supported and been reported to support by them multiple white F1 drivers in bad times - George, Lando and of course Pierre) it's a huge disconnect from allowing him to speak on an issue he has important things to contribute on by invalidating his

Now, some of the people asking Lewis about an issue like Palestine are asking genuinely, to plead with him to use his platform to raise awareness. But other people are playing a gotcha moment, to try and claim he's only pretending to care about one cause because he's not as informed about another.

Those people aren't interested in listening to the information he can give because it makes them uncomfortable. They're also not actually interested in any of the other causes they're insisting Hamilton should be caring about ~for balance~ as though he's a 24/7 news channel just for having reported his own engagement with some causes.

Should we be asking drivers about any of this unless they have something useful to contribute? Absolutely not. They're literally just some people and like, pretty uneducated people about most of these things, for the most part. But it's hard to explain that nuance, that they're welcome to talk when they want to but you can't force them to have an answer to every issue like they're fighting AOC's battles (also unfair) not out on track.

I hope that makes some sort of sense.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

PLEASE post your deh dream concepts

thank you for enabling me queen

OKAY first of all, I think it would have worked better as a straight play instead of a musical! there are moments, like 'sincerely, me' for example, where the singing just cheapens the moment. like, that song is a fun little bop! that they're...singing about fabricating a dead child's emails in order to lie to his family? lmfao it just Doesn't sit right imo. don't worry, I'm gonna work Ben Platt singing into it tho, just hang on.

Second- there was a show Daniel Radcliffe did on broadway about social media privacy a few years ago, and I remember it was interactive, the audience all logged onto a specific wifi network and used their phones during the show, it was cool! Dear Evan Hansen like....Tries to involve social media commentary but it just kinda gives up on it. like, they flash some fake profiles with a projector, and briefly shows Alana dramatizing what Evan told her online, but that's pretty much it??? I think it would have been super cool and unique to work the audience into the story like that. like...when I was in high school our school had a specific facebook page where people could anonymously compliment other students? and I know other schools have had similar things like that. they could set up a site that's supposed to be the school's media along those lines, and have the audience post on it (regarding the events of the plot) and have it read out during the show. maybe it'll even effect the climax if we wanna get fancy- some audiences might be more sympathetic to Evan while others want him to have harsher consequences! who knows! I just feel like the musical really dropped this whole 'how can we Connect' message it was going for and it'd be really cool to see it used better

Third- okay so. the letter writing thing. like, that IS an actual therapy thing but it's a bit...weird? I feel like most therapists recommend journaling over that also it feels kinda mean lmao 'no one will talk to me all day so I have to write to myself' ksjddklf. and Evan doesn't really...have much of a personality? like, he has an anxiety disorder, he's ashamed of his home life, he likes trees. that's kinda...it? like despite going on a complex arc he's not a very fleshed out character, it's weird. and since ben platt legally has to sing- I propose Evan likes song writing. it's something that's a little more relatable than the tree thing, and it also just adds to him lol. his 'I Need To Escape This Town' energy = he wants to be a musician. it'll show he's good with words when writing them down- which helps him fabricate the emails with Connor. Zoe's in band, so it gives the two of them something to bond over that doesn't involve Connor. maybe the letter itself was a weirdly formatted song he was working on, or maybe the therapist thought he'd like the letter thing bc of songwriting- but we can see it progress trough the show, like Alana wants him to write and perform a song about Connor and the Murphy's think that'll be so sweet! or maybe when he finally fesses up he writes a song about the whole mess and posts it online or something to that effect. I just think it'd be nice.

(also hi literally why is his therapist not a character??? feel like that's someone who might have a lot to say about the situation lmfao)

Four- focus more on Evan's suicidal thoughts??? omg like the big reveal they had was good but it was never like. revealed to anyone around him and overall just kinda passed over in the grand scheme of the plot like. bro. the show is supposed to be about this kid's mental health

I think...straight play, social media interactive, and then Evan's secret DOES get exposed- whether by people finding holes, the murphy's exposing him, or Evan cracking by himself, something like that. the 'one year later' part at the end, Evan posts a video explaining his side of the story and sings a song dedicated to Connor (maybe a little you will be found rework?). those are my biggest ideas anyway. the show holds a powerful story but I just feel like tweaking it would make it so much better idk