#like i'm supposed to like this just because the actors are together? no. try harder. try at all!

[lecoindecachou]

Now that the actors appear to have broken up, can we finally admit that Harvey and Roz were the most boring pointless couple on this show or

[incorrect-junji-ito]

Uzumaki episode 1 review

So I found the time to watch the new episode today, and I have some thoughts.

Spoiler warning for those who haven't seen it yet.

First of all, the animation looks amazing. The black-and-white really benefits the atmosphere, and it imitates Ito's style well. The rotoscope animation is very smooth and does a good job of giving the characters a good range of expressions. It's easy to tell that the animators put a lot of work into the art and animation. I liked how they added little details like Kirie blinking her eyes trying to move her eyes independently when Shuichi talked about his father doing so.

The voice actors did a great job too. The voices fit the characters, and everyone did a good job of portraying the emotions the characters were feeling. Especially Mrs. Saito, who delivered some fantastic screams of horror.

Then there's the pacing. Since it is a four-episode series, it's only natural that they had to fit in a lot in each episode. So having the first episode cover chapter 1, the first half of chapter 2, chapter 3, and the beginning of chapter 8 was a choice I think was smart. One of the biggest criticisms I've seen of the Uzumaki manga is that it's too episodic and that characters seem to forget the horrors they've seen every new chapter (which is debatable but not the point of this post), having multiple things happen in one episode gives the series a bigger sense of urgency. And I liked the choice of Azami taking the bus to Mr. Saito's funeral. It shows her manipulative nature by appearing kind to Kirie, when it was an excuse to see Shuichi.

Though personally, I think some scenes went by too quickly, but I suppose it's harder to linger on a shot and let the horror really sink in in an anime, especially when you're limited to four episodes. I wish we had more episodes so we could let more scenes sink in, however, because Uzumaki has some nice quiet moments that I really enjoy.

And because the series is limited to four episodes, we do miss out on some details that I really enjoy from the manga. Like how in the manga Azami rents an apartment in Kurouzu-cho so she can harass Shuichi at night and bang on his door. A lot of Azami's behavior just wasn't adapted. And the scene of Mr. Saito getting violent towards his wife when she threw away his spiral collection was sadly lost, too.

And little details like Mr. Saito telling Kirie that Shuichi's not home when she comes to deliver the bowl to him, or Kirie and Shuichi calling each other about Azami and Okada. Those are very small details, but they tell a lot about Kirie and Shuichi's relationship. They inform us that Kirie and Shuichi spend a lot of time together and they're used to visiting each other, and that they're open and communicate clearly with each other. And I really miss the scene of Kirie telling Azami to stop bothering Shuichi and to back off from her boyfriend.

A detail that I understand they changed is that Azami first sees Shuichi when she goes with Kirie to meet him at the train station. It's pretty natural, since in that scene, Azami is just going to the train station to get home. And since Mrs. Saito's not dead yet, it makes sense that Shuichi's not reclusive yet and is still taking the train home from school.

For all the differences from the manga, I'm enjoying the anime so far. I'm excited for what they do for the rest of the series.

[chirpsythismorning]

Do you think there's a possibility that they might straight-up cancel ST because of the strike?

Because of the strike? No.

The only way ST would end before it was supposed to, is if the world was literally ending, or Netflix took a huge hit somehow and lost all their investors or something? Even in that case I think they would go out with a bang and invest all of their money and resources into a final season of ST tbh lmao

This does make me think about how the WGA is not encouraging the public to unsubscribe to Netflix or other streamers (yet), as a way to support the strike. I think it could be in part leverage they are saving for later, because maybe that's something they can encourage people to do if the strike is going past like the 3+ month point? It's also been said that Netflix wants to up their prices again for their plans, but with the strike going on, many are speculating that it would be too much of a risk for them to increase prices rn. If they did, say in the summer at some point, that would be a great time for the writers to tell the public to unsubscribe, because the impact would be massive since so many are already unsubscribing anyways, writers getting paid horrendously could have the potential to be the final push for subscribers already ready to call it quits.

But it also could honestly be because they don't want to totally ruin the relationship with their employer, who ideally they still want to work for when this is all over. Hurting Netflix financially with intent, is where it might get into nasty territory for future collaborations together.

This is also why I think the production for ST all around is fairly quiet. They themselves cannot do too much bc they are SOOO tied to Netflix, quite frankly they are Netflix. There's a reason they're not posting pictures together out during the strike, there's a reason all of the million dollar actors are being pretty quiet. Because when filming inevitably starts back up again and ST5 is being promoted and released, they're going to be back to praising Netflix for all they do for them. And spoiling that relationship, by going too far, might make things, at the very least, awkward in the future, or at the worst, well I don't really want to think of hypotheticals for that.

I think all they could do at this time, is have the Duffer's themselves speak out in support of the strike, disclosing that they will not begin filming ST5 until a deal is made for the writers. And so they did that, and now all they can do is wait and stay pretty quiet hoping it goes well. THIS is why they're out here trying to hint at it subtely to get fans involved. In that context the byler sign is actually quite hilarious, bc it is potentially a big spoiler and therefore a fuck you to netflix, but bc it was posted on tumblr and no one really takes us seriously, it's gone under most of the audiences radar. Like I'm pretty sure there has been zero official reporting on it, whereas the Steve one did get that. Though that one was, again also from a writers account sneakily. So there is definitely this feeling that subtlety might be their only option rn.

Otherwise when it comes to the strike in general, we've got SAG AFTRA potentially joining in, which means now you've got actors striking. And then potentially even DGA joining. Directors are a lot harder to pin point in terms of their potential support, though in this day in age, I think they have a lot more in common with being exploited just like their writers/talent do. Not saying that plenty of high paid directors aren't in kahoots with studios, but also, the honest ones want a good environment for their productions and I doubt they would want everyone below the line hating them (and it being rightfully deserved).

Shawn Levy is a big name director, with both ST and Deadpool under his belt. It's likely he would support a directors strike, and others among him could as well. There's only been one DGA strike in our history and I guess it lasted like 3 hrs, bc that's how fast the studios were willing to make a deal to get the directors back... So directors have a lot of power to put a stop to this hold out by the studios. Not only that, but writers, actors and directors have never in our history had a strike all at one time. We'll have to wait and see.

For a rough timeline of what is to come:

May 17th: SAG agreed to allow its members to vote on a strike authorization. SAG represents 170,000 members roughly, so that's a lot of people in the industry making that choice to potentially stop filming to strike in order to fight for a fair deal themselves. Right now, it seems like there is a lot of support from SAG saying that they will be voting yes.

June 7th: SAG will begin negotiations with AMPTP.

June 30th: The current SAG contract with AMPTP will expire. If negotiations between the TV/Theatrical negotiating committee and the AMPTP are unsuccessful, the National Board may declare a strike. The current DGA contract is also set to expire that same day as the SAG. This would essentially be like May 1st with the writers strike all over again. If a deal isn't reached on June 30th, a strike could begin on July 1st.

It's possible a deal with the writers and studios could be reached before then, especially if they are preparing for the other two to strike and make deals as well. They might have no choice but to get their shit together sooner than later while that is happening.

But who knows. In a worst case scenario neither SAG nor the DGA would strike and it could go longer without more support. The support right now from the public is also good, but it will need to continue full force and not dwindle if we want to see things get resolved sooner than later.

Very cautiously optimistic rn, but prepared for anything to change.

[softquietsteadylove]

Kingo is trying to make Gil jealous to see if he cares about Thena and uses some interesting methods.

For the fake wedding one!

"Please, Thena?"

She looked up at Kingo, "I don't understand why you need me for it."

"Because Makkari and Sersi both said no, and I have to send in this video of me by today!" Kingo pleaded with her, pressing his hands together and wobbling his lip.

"What about Ajak?"

"I don't wanna dance with my mom!" Kingo faked sobbing, although it still did nothing to move Thena in his favour, "plus, she's way too busy and I'm way too scared to ask her. I'm pretty sure she'll break out the chancla on me."

Thena had already seen what the threat of la chancla could do for keeping her children (plus Kingo) in line. The woman clearly had mastered her weapon of choice. Thena sighed, "it's just a video of you dancing?"

"Yes!" Kingo bounced with glee, "and I know all the steps and everything. All you have to do is sway and follow my lead--and look like you're in love with me!"

Thena rolled her eyes but stood from her patio chair, "I'll try."

"That's all I ask," he grinned at her, holding his hand out like a true gentleman. "There isn't any sound for it either, so I can talk you through things too."

She had no idea how these things worked for an actor of Kingo's level, but if he had to send in a video of himself dancing with no music, who was she to question it?

Besides, Gil was busy making croissants - or something - so it wasn't as if she had anything better to do with her time.

"Madame," Kingo schmoozed as he pulled her into position with him. His expression screamed a rich and entitled dandy, or whatever his character would be for this project. But it was definitely Kingo saying, "is it okay if I put my hand on your waist?"

Thena shrugged. She hadn't known Kingo for long, but there was something undeniably unthreatening about him, at least to her. Maybe it was the same warmth Gil and the rest of the family exuded. Or maybe it was the complete lack of physical interest he had in her. It was a refreshing break from most of the creeps at work back home.

Kingo began trotting them around in boxes within circles. He was surprisingly skilled with his dancing, leading her smoothly. "Hey, you're not so bad at this."

Thena wasn't convinced by the flattery, "don't be fooled, it's not as if I'm going to be able to do this on my own."

"Are you ready?" he asked more quietly, his face coming closer as their twirling slowed down to a gentle swaying from side to side. "For your first dance?"

Thena gulped, "I...suppose."

"Have you guys had lessons for it?" Kingo asked, the side of his head hovering close to the side of hers. "I heard some people do that."

If she had known about this more than a few weeks in advance, she might have considered it. "Gil said he didn't want to worry about stuff like that, and I'm inclined to agree."

"Well, you can consider this kinda like practice, right?" Kingo chuckled, his hand squeezing hers faintly.

"I suppose so," she murmured, not really thinking of Kingo as he swayed them to some imaginary beat. He was tall, maybe even a little taller than Gil. But he wasn't as warm, and his muscles were harder--more wiry. Gil's felt so natural on his frame, as if he had been born with them. Every time she felt them close to her, it was reassuring.

"I gotta admit," Kingo nearly whispered this part, bringing his head even closer to hers for it. "I was a little surprised when Gil told us about this shotgun wedding."

Thena held her breath.

"He's not really the impulsive type, and between you and me," he paused to snicker, "Ajak asked me if I thought he had, uh, knocked you up, as it were."

Honestly, it was a fair assumption on poor Ajak's part.

"But you guys seem really happy," Kingo concluded with a lighter tone. He pulled his head away so he could look at her as he said it, but they were so physically close her eyes blurred a little to really look at him. "I'm glad you found each other."

Thena turned her head, preferring to stare into/just barely over his shoulder rather than be nose to nose with her cousin-to-be. A breeze rushed around them and she felt the warmth in her cheeks. "I couldn't find anyone better than Gil."

Of all the lies she had told since arriving here with Gil, this was true.

"Okay," Kingo whispered, giving her waist a squeeze, "i have to dip you now. Have you ever done one?"

"No," she hissed at him, but he was already picking up speed and twirling her around again.

"It's okay, just relax and let me hold you as I lean you back," he continued to grin like that was so easily done. "Just trust me."

There was only one person in the world she trusted like that.

"Kingo, wait," she bit her lip, more nerves building up as Kingo spun her again. He wrapped his arm around the back of her shoulders, half lowering her down with her eyes squeezed shut like he was dangling her off a cliff.

"Kingo!"

"Oh, hey Gil," he smiled, still holding Thena in one arm and spreading the other for dramatic effect. "We-"

"Let go of her!"

Thena opened her eyes when a different set of hands grasped her shoulders. She was pulled up to stand properly again, and rather than Kingo's deep purple t-shirt, she was met with Gil's green sweater, and the scent of his aftershave.

"What the hell are you doing, man!" Gil barked at him, holding Thena to his chest as if Kingo had been about to feed her to the wolves.

"Sorry Gil, I needed help recording a dance for my next audition tape," Kingo laughed through his excuse, carefully avoiding the gravity Gil brought to the situation. "Thena was the only one free."

Gil's hand moved from Thena's shoulders to the small of her back, trailing down with a light touch, "you're doing stuff like this an awful lot, lately."

"Like what?" Kingo shrugged. If Gil wanted his answers, he was going to have to come out and say it.

"Gil," Thena interrupted before the two could really get their tempers up and flaring. She pressed her hand into the divet of chest between his pecs, "it's okay. He asked me to help, and I said I would."

Gil sighed, clearly wanting to stay angry at Kingo, even as she tried to talk him out of it. He was still holding her. "I know, Thena, but that's not-"

"It's good practice, right?"

Both men looked at her, shocked by her sudden outburst. Gil tilted his head at her, "practice for what?"

"Well," she sighed, feeling the warmth in her cheeks re-emerge. "We'll have to...right? After...the wedding?"

Gil blushed faintly, and she could see in real time as he realised that he too would be required to execute a very romantic first dance with her in front of the rest of his family. "Oh."

Thena nodded, her own embarrassment worsening as Gil's added to it. "So, I agreed because I figured I could take all the practice I could get."

"Uh, well," Gil floundered, looking between Thena, sheepish in the crook of his elbow, and Kingo, who had his arms crossed at him with a petulant expression. His anger fizzled out and he gave Kingo a miserable little look, "sorry."

"I should think so," Kingo turned his nose up, although they could both see him grinning, lavishing in the drama of the moment. He held up his hands as he moved to side step them. "Never mind old Kingo, just trying to help-"

Gil grasped Kingo's sleeve before he could move on completely. He looked him in the eye, still holding Thena in his other arm. "I know you don't mean anything by it. But...it's the woman I love, Kingo. I need to know you really understand that."

Thena stayed silent through the exchange between brothers. Gil said it in a very convincing way (and her stomach was still in knots).

Kingo looked at Gil, and then at the hand grasping at him. He removed his grip before bumping his knuckles against Gil's gently. "I do, man. I really do--I wouldn't do anything to get in the way of that."

Then what was all this?

Kingo continued into the house, completely unbothered by the little scuffle.

Gil looked at her again, frowning, "sorry. A-Are you--I didn't mean to..."

She smiled, though. Fake-fiance or not, everything Gil did was out of sweetness. At least with her, it was. She nodded, "it's okay, Gil. You know he doesn't mean any harm."

"I know," he sighed, looking like a puppy getting a scolding. She had to laugh, tipping his chin back up (but it didn't stop him from pouting). "I just...I feel like every time I've got a good thing going for me, Kingo swoops in and--he doesn't mean to. I know he doesn't, but let's just say that when we all went to camp together, the girls weren't really asking him to pass their numbers on to me."

"Aw, poor Gilgamesh," Thena pursed her lips at him. He did roll his eyes, but he was smiling again! "You were a diamond in the rough--just needed more time for people to see your brilliance."

He smiled as she un-rumpled his sweater from when he came out in a huff. He was still holding her. "So, dance practice?"

"Hm," she hummed, not really wanting to dwell on it any more than they already had. "I admit I was intrigued by the idea that he could help."

"Well," Gil said quietly, still holding her waist and now grasping her other hand in his, "I'm here now. And I'm the one you're gonna be dancing with, right?"

He was. Thena drew in a breath as Gil started moving them. It was a little less smooth than Kingo had been, clearly a basic step he had learned some time in their youth.

"I probably need some practice myself," he mumbled, some of his usual shyness returning as he moved her hand his side up his chest to his shoulder.

"I-" she cut herself off before she could say something stupid, looking away from his deep brown eyes to stare into his chest instead, "I didn't want to interrupt you."

"Interrupt me anytime, Thena," he corrected her immediately, swaying them a little more easily the longer they maintained their proximity. "Especially for something like this."

She leaned closer, loosening as if their shared body heat were melting frost at her joints. "You're not half bad at this."

"Well," Gil smiled against her cheek, "I better get half good before our wedding, huh?"

[showyoumyfavoriteobsession]

long-ass tl post below. i'm not trying to start shit i'm just venting bc i've been thinking about this episode for like 12 hours today lol

man. anyway. there were definitely good moments in the finale but I was just so disappointed by the execution of almost all of the storylines' conclusions.

I want to start off that I'm not particularly broken up by any of the ships we thought would happen not happening in and of themselves, but the way we got jerked around this season for all of these storylines to have no real resolution is really frustrating.

The Roy/Keeley/Jamie triangle is a big one for me. We spent all of this season developing all of their characters individually, focused on Roy and Jamie becoming friends (which was great and one of the strongest parts of the season!), and then we wrap it up with... a literal fistfight and shitty, sexist pronouncements of ownership? Taking the foundations of their relationships, the things they've been working on for three seasons - trust, communication, accountability - and just throwing it out the window? And for what?

The Beard/Jane thing makes me absolutely furious. This is the plot thread that makes this finale feel the most rushed and shoehorned, as if they were planning to go somewhere else and just didn't have time. What was the fucking point of Beard After Hours if they were heading towards this shit the whole time

(I do think that montage at the end was supposed to be a dream, but Beard leaving the plane for Jane wasn't!! And if Ted was imagining Beard and Jane being happy together forever that's still pretty fucked up!!)

What was the fucking point of the Zava storyline. What was the fucking point of the Jack storyline. What was the fucking point of the Shandy storyline. What was the fucking point of the Tish storyline. What was the fucking point of Trent's book

(i edited that above bullet like three times while writing the rest of this post because i kept remembering other storylines that went nowhere lol)

Ted himself was giving absolutely nothing during this episode. I thought he was being quiet and reserved because he was bottling up to have a breakdown of some kind towards the end, but he just seemed... empty. Even his final speech to the team felt distant. I couldn't tell if he was conflicted about leaving, happy about leaving... I get the future was supposed to be ambiguous, but I couldn't even tell if he would ever want to go back to Richmond for a visit.

It's been pointed out before (and I agree) that the actor playing Henry is... not the best. He's very flat in a lot of the emotional scenes that he's in, and it made it harder to believe that he really missed Ted that much, especially in 3x08, which was probably supposed to be an important link in that storyline. But I can't blame him for everything - there hasn't been a lot in the script for him, so Dottie's "your son misses you" last week felt kind of unearned. And Ted's reaction to it last week felt real! But then there's barely anything in this episode that makes it feel like he's actually excited to see his son again. (When Henry was coming to visit in season 1, he was tracking the plane! He was chatting about it to Beard and Nate and Rebecca! In this episode we got one text of a gif.) If Ted's story was actually about the sacrifices of being a parent, why don't we get one (1) scene expressing that?

Nate. I really really really wanted to like Nate's storyline this season and the conclusion still kind of pissed me off. It was really that all the important parts were offscreen in this episode - did he choose to be a (assistant) kit man again or was he demoted? How did the team welcome him back? What was Ted and his reunion like? The only good thing was Nick Mohammed's acting - his apology to Ted just instantly made me start crying - but it was like a 2-minute scene! We couldn't have cut that stupid K/J/R scene for more closure on Nate?? There's something to him being back in the same place but more secure in himself, but we didn't actually get to see him choose it in any real way.

I was a big Ted/Rebecca fan in the earlier seasons, but I truly would have fine with them being completely platonic, and by the middle of this season, I was thinking they probably would be. Unfortunately, by this episode they don't even feel like friends anymore. Again, Ted is just doing absolutely nothing during their scene in the stands, and barely anything more at the airport scene. Where's the trust? The openness? And again, all the hints, the misdirects, the biscuits with the boss, the army men... and for what? To barely look each other in the eye, to leave with no promise that they'll ever see each other again?

Again, I do think the montage towards the end was a dream, but Rebecca reuniting with the Dutch guy felt like another really sloppy ending. We didn't spend an entire episode with them specifically not learning each other's names for them to suddenly be soulmates

Overall, I felt like this season varied in quality pretty drastically from episode to episode. I do think part of it was that they wrote seasons 1 and 2 back-to-back before any of it was released, and then this season was written after the huge response to the first two seasons. The rest of this is pure speculation, but I've thought a couple times this season that it felt a little "tryhard", like they were suddenly self-conscious of the goofiness and earnestness of the show but still wanted to do it. And now it feels like all of that led to last-minute rewrites, plots getting shifted around due to audience reactions, and maybe some marvel-style spoiler avoidance (that thing where whenever something leaks/gets guessed, they just change the script to something else to 'preserve the surprise' even if it makes no sense). It's fine when this show is predictable! The first two seasons were still fun when they were predictable!! It seems a little bit like this season was left open-ended in case they decide to do another season or something, but they did the rest of the show such a disservice by doing this that I'm not that interested in anything else they want to say past this point. This whole season, all the plot threads that went nowhere, I still trusted that the writers had a plan to tie it all together in the end because they've done it before, and this is what we got.

There's a place for ambiguity, but when everything is left ambiguous it's just sloppy. If we weren't sure where Ted's mind was at OR Roy/Keeley/Jamie was still up in the air OR Nate's future was uncertain OR Rebecca had maybe found a healthy relationship... any of those would have been fine, but when you have all of them unresolved it feels like no one wanted to commit to actually ending the thing.

whew. anyway. it's just such a bummer when a show you've gotten invested in shoots itself in the foot like this. this post is already too long but i'm going to end with the moments i did like:

I actually liked (most of) the opening scene, it made me laugh maybe more than anything else. I had just convinced myself that no, they're never actually going to have a canonical throuple on this show, and then I really thought for a second that they just plunked Ted/Rebecca/Beard down in front of us with no warning lol

Colin! I'm happy he got his happy ending.

Frankly, my general disinterest in Trent and, to a lesser extent, Colin, really stemmed from the fandom valorization of them from the very first season. It felt like (and I think it was, at least for a while!) that very Tumblr thing of "paying vastly more attention to conventionally attractive white men in very minor roles than any women or people of color that have actual storylines". But they had really good storylines this season - some of the better ones - and I really enjoyed them as written! I just still find their fandoms kind of annoying.

The scenes with Jamie and Roy (before they go to Keeley's) were mostly really lovely. I think that's been the strongest subplot of this season, and it's been a real joy to watch.

(i just realized 'joy' could be a ship name for jamie/roy lmao)

In a general sense, I really like that a lot of the major characters did not end up in romantic relationships, because those aren't the most important journeys they went on. Obviously I have quibbles about the execution (and larger quibbles about the ones who did (see above)), but I love that as an overall message.

Roy going to therapy!! You absolutely love to see it!!!

i keep trying to think of other stuff and keep coming up with more stuff i'm irritated about and it's past midnight so i'm going to stop lol. definitely going to be sitting on this episode/show for a bit but. yeah

The return of the Believe sign. As I've said, I'm a sucker for some well-timed cheese, and that was a really sweet scene.

ETA: OH the diamond dogs scene was actually lovely!! It got so lost in the rest of this episode but it was the only part that attempted to address the actual themes of the show!

[ezrasageisajellyfish]

ok ik that I'm probably gonna get hate for this but I'm not like a huge fan of season 2 of heartstopper.

like don't get me wrong I loved the 1st season. it was the reason I got into the whole omniverse. but I kinda have mixed feelings about the second season (and yes ik I'm very late to this) so I'm autistic and I. can't really handle change and yes I do fully understand that everything can't be fully lined to the comics and has to be some changes because it's a fucking tv show. but there were some changes, mainly in the second season that like really bothered me and I'm just trying to see if it was just me or not.

i really kinda hated the extra stuff leading up to Elle and Tao getting together. like the whole "first date" thing literally almost made me wanna die. mainly cause I feel the books portrayed them getting together very well and it just wasn't needed.

on defense of the second season I will say that the Tara and Darcy extra scenes and lk storyline was amazing and very good. like the whole thing with Darcy's mom was incredible. and the after prom thing where they're playing that Taylor swift song was genius. (if u can't tell they're both some of my favorite characters) and I'm not just putting Elle and Tao down cause I don't like them as much. I absolutely adore Elle and her entire personality in the books and Tao in the books and show us just fucking adorable. and it wasn't the actors fault at all they did an amazing job. another defense for it was the acting. the acting for like 5× better than the 1st season in my opinion, especially the nick&Charlie kissing scenes those were 6× more like realistic and shit. another issue i have with it was the casting. like ik u can't get it absolutely correct I fully get that but they were givin a pretty good description of what each character was supposed to look like. and I'm not saying they did that with every character. the casting with Tara and Darcy was absolutely perfect. but with Elle mainly her description is very shown and ik I'm not in a casting department had to be absolutely perfect and shit but... they could have tried harder to find a trans egyptian actress. mainly cause ik that middle eastern representation is kinda hard to find and they only found a mixed girl to play her. no shade to Yasmin, she's fucking gorgeous I just would have liked for them to have that representation.

also I was kinda annoyed with the added Ben parts. BUT the scene where Charlie told Ben that he never gave his consent for Ben to kiss him was pretty cool and I give them a lot of credit for that. I am also a huge fucking Imogen fan and seeing her be the fucking bad bitch she is was amazing. I just didn't like when nick and Ben were paired up together BUT I did like when nick said that he literally fucking assaulted him and it was cool that they said that literally and didn't leave it as an inference. *tw rape (also unpopular opinion on the assault scene if nick hadn't been there I think it's safe to say that Ben woul have raped the little angel charlie) so that was good that he dad that but I felt those scenes just weren't needed. and yes once again I do know that the comics themselves can't make the entire show cause it just wouldn't be long enough BUT almost all the season 2 episodes where like 10-15 minutes longer than any season 1 episodes. so....

also I didn't think that elle going to art college was like needed. like I didn't feel that that extra drama was needed in the show. oh I almost forgot to say this I absolutely hate the prom scene with all of my heart. EXCEPT the very not straight Sahar and Imogen scene when Imogen is kinda staring at her like Sahar is the best thing in the world (wich she is). but I hate the costumes for prom. like Charlie's made me want to scream into a pillow. and Tara's could have been 7× better. but it just wasn't super nessasary in general

also sorry if my spelling is absolute shit I can't spell to save my life

[thecoolestfreakyouknow]

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The dumbest thing is if they wanted to claim "realistic" then how in the hell did the other couple which were cute but the definition of puppy love end up together and get married and baekdo didn't like pick a lane, the ending reeked of edgy bittersweet ending because it's the cool thing to do, sad endings aren't synonymous with good writing, sad endings don't make a show/movie better. The fake pseudo intellectualism is hilarious, acting like they're somehow above a happy ending and writing a sad ending filled with plot holes and inconsistencies from the characters. How is it that so many people who make television just do not understand what people actually want. Also screw them for not giving us Yi Jin and what's happening to him, Hee do wasn't the only main character here so she's married and sort of content although it seems she's still kinda in love with him and regretful, what about my boy, I loved him so much and I wanted to know he was happy even if they weren't together, I wanted to see him lead a good life like wtf did these writers smoke I am so mad. Honestly in a time where real life is such absolute garbage and we seem to be heading towards annihilation, having something that is supposed to bring you comfort just devastate you and leave you angry and sad for a long time is not it and it's not just 2521 this is a trend with Korean media and western media where they try to be subversive and shock us completely missing the point. I'm tired...

fucking solidarity to whoever sent this to me anon!!

For all we know, Yijin could be in space, taming lions, dead and buried, married with 16 kids.... like can we have some fucking information, please? Is he happy at all, or is he still pining for her? Does he think of her, like she thinks of him? There were so many loose ends. I hate how this ending implies that as soon as you hit 25 you can't contact your teen friends anymore and your life is over. For many people, life actually begins when they get to this age - being a teenager can be hell, and it's not always like the romanticised "youth" narrative. Who is Min-chae's dad? Who is Hee-do's husband? Why is he absent, a characteristic that made her break up with the love of her life, but she marries a man who does the same thing? Where does that lead us? Exactly where we began (but NOT different this time), which is no story at all.

I totally get your point about happy endings being this icky thing TV writers have to avoid now. At this point, it does feel condescending. It wouldn't be so bad if that was the story from the start but 2521 NEVER felt like that to me. There were hints that things don't last forever, which is standard for growing up, but it doesn't automatically mean that you have to leave EVERYTHING you loved about being that age behind. You can still have your partners and your friends, you can still go places and meet up. It's harder because you all have careers but it IS possible. They all act like they're going to die tomorrow and never see each other. I'm sorry, but that was not where you were leading with the most fantastic build up of 14 episodes. It is sad to grow up but it is NOT the end!

Wow, I thought I had nothing to add here but apparently I did. Thanks for sending this to me. It's nice to know I'm not alone!

56 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

#4

When the writer had Hee Do say that she and Yijin were only lovers in the good times, not the bad times, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I still don’t understand how you can misread your OWN themes and messages. Is that what you smoke? You smoke crack? Their ENTIRE relationship has been them taking turns to pull each other out of the abyss. That was how this show started - the IMF crisis hurt them in different ways and they saved each other. They support each other long distance with phone messages. They support their careers and stand up for each other when they needed it. And you are breaking up in the hour of need, something your relationship was FOUNDED on. Perseverance in dark times my ass.

123 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#3

I love the creative scene transitions in Business Proposal. They also add similar stuff in the scenes themselves from cgi, sound effects, and original camerawork all the way to editing, which really makes the entire experience a fun time. I love that the stereotypical drama that the characters like and is playing in the background often is used to make meta commentary that both allows you to laugh at and be invested in the actual narrative. It's like a wink wink nudge nudge, "it's ok to enjoy this" hug. It's all tropes all the way down in this town and it knows it, asking you to hop in and enjoy the ride with them. There's nothing wrong with tropes if you execute them well.

124 notes - Posted April 2, 2022

#2

I've seen numerous people defend the 2521 finale for typical snobby reasons - "just because you didn't get what you wanted, you're upset". First off, as if kdramas aren't known for plot twists and unexpected happy endings. It's not dumb or weak for people to hope for it, especially because the tone of the show was like that throughout 13 episodes. It's not a stretch to assume that tone would continue until the end. It just wasn't able to stick the landing and drastically changed tone, pacing and characterisation, shocking everyone who followed the outline the show had already drawn out before those final episodes. It jumped from A to H to Z without much forethought and never filled in the glaring gaps. As a writer, you shouldn't punish viewers for caring, and you should never punish them for reading the writing on the wall.

Romantic relationships aside, the entire cast's adult lives are a depressing vision of a bleak future. This is in direct and startling contrast to the strength of bonds built up through hours of well crafted screenwriting, directing, acting, and so on. They don't hang out, they don't call or talk - something "realistic" adults actually do. Hee Do spends the final moments of a nostalgic, hopeful text pining away after her youth, where she was clearly happier than she is as an adult, friendless and isolated. We don't even see what happened to everyone else, so we can only assume the others do not fare much better. The threads opened for their futures (as each character had a lovely side story) are not followed through. "Realistically" (people love this word when it comes to fiction) adult life can be, and is, better than youth in different ways. The passions and ambitions you have as a teenager don't disappear when you reach a certain age - you can act on them now. So it is horrifically bleak to have them all give up and condemn themselves to suffering until they die, regretting and reliving a very short period of their long lives. While the rest of the drama did romanticise youth, it should've followed through on its established tone and romanticised adulthood as well. The core of the show itself was ambition (for careers, family, friends), hope and perseverance, and holding each other up in dark times - something it completely abandons in those final hours.

And that is why watchers are frustrated, angry, and upset, at what was one of the best television shows on air.

267 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

IN CONCLUSION. NEVER LOVE ANYTHING.

292 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rowdyhughesy]

Can you hear my mind ✰ Jack Hughes

It’s hard to explain masterlist

Content warning: this fic contains content of the struggles that come with ADHD, mentions of anger and sadness. This is made to spread awareness about disorders not to romanticise it. If this is something that may be triggering do not read.

“Is ADHD even a real thing?”

“Are you sure you're not just restless or bored?”

“Can you just stay still?”

“Can you please shut up?”

It's questions and words I've heard my whole life, even before they first gave me on paper that I have this neurodevelopment disorder.

Four letters that tell me why I feel different from everybody else. Why nothing ever seems to fit, like all the puzzle pieces in my brain aren't made to form this whole complete picture.

Like when your headphones get messed up in this ball of tangled cords and frustration when you can't separate them.

A simple description of how I can't separate my brain, what I'm feeling and thinking at any moment. How my body never stays still. There's always a knee bouncing, fingers wringing together or eyes blinking repeatedly. A constant burst of excess energy that I can't contain.

Jack doesn't move his gaze or say anything as we're laying on the light beige couch in our living room, tv playing this new show we started watching and the actors voices filling the silent space. He's too focused on watching it to pay attention to how my eye is twitching, how I keep rubbing my eyes like I'm tired and half asleep or touching my hair.

He's used to it by now. The fiddling, noises from when I move around, mumbling to myself. At least I thought he hadn't noticed until one of his hands lays atop of mine.

Almost immediately I start playing with his fingers. It's a trick he figured out early on. That if he gives me something to touch I can focus my energy on that, one thing to focus on and feel instead of everything all at once.

I glance over at him from the corner of my eye but he's still focused on the tv. A small smile tugging on the corner of his lips that tells me he knows I'm watching him. A small squeeze to my hand that's in his. A wordless confirmation that he knows what I needed. It's like he's developed this sixth sense when it comes to me.

It should be nothing, it is nothing. But inside it feels like this big dark thing that's eating me alive. Maybe it's the stress, lack of sleep or just my brain feeling like it's about to short circuit.

It's my own nails digging into my palms as I pace back and forth in our bedroom, ragged breathing and squinting my eyes in a desperate attempt at calming down. Trying to push it away, deeper and deeper I always do, everything to not let it take over.

Barely even knowing what it is that's got me here. It could be the laundry I've been procrastinating that feels like it's laughing at me. The clean dishes yet to be unloaded because I got distracted from doing and then just never did.

It could be the irritation at myself for not being capable of functioning like everyone I know. Seeing how they do these daily tasks like it's no big deal. Like it's easy. Just like breathing or sleeping. Easy.

It's harder now that Jack is away on a roadie for two weeks. Nobody there to take the pressure of by picking up the things I forget. Like when I leave the fridge door open or forgot to put the orange juice back. I can't even remember when he's supposed to be back. I can't remember how long he's been gone for.

I press the palm of my hands against my eyes, fingertips scratching at my hair trying to push the anger away. Deeper, harder until I think I might pass out from trying to hold it in.

And then it feels like the bomb inside finally explodes. A frustrated scream tumbles out of my lungs and I grab the nearest thing -which happens to be a throw pillow- chucking it at the wall. It hits with a loud thud before it falls on the floor. Grabbing another pillow I continue to throw them at the wall, everything to get the feelings out without breaking anything or causing harm.

I haven't even heard the sound of keys jiggling in the front door, hockey bag and suitcase placed on the floor. Jack kicking his shoes off in the hallway and hanging his jacket on one of the hooks. I don't hear anything but the sound of my own blood coursing through my body and heartbeat in my ears. Not until I finally sit down on the ground, head bent down between my knees and arms covering my skull.

'Baby.' Jacks voice isn't scared, more worried than anything as he creaks the bedroom door open. Sticking his head in from behind it, watching me sitting hunched over on the floor. He takes in the pillows on the floor and the sound of my shaky breathing.

Shuffling over the floor he slowly sits down next to me. He doesn't reach out to touch me. Knows it's the last thing I want right now. 'Are you angry?' I stay silent, throat raw and dry from the scream I previously let out. Strained. 'Whatever it is that became too much, I'm here now.' Softly he rubs circles on the bare skin of my arm that isn't covered by my T-shirt. 'I'll take care of it. You don't have to think about it.'

I only lift my head from its hiding place under my arms, scoot closer until my side is pressed against his and rest my head on his shoulder. Jack wraps one of his arms around my shoulders. Thumb rubbing circles on my arm as he presses a kiss on my forehead.

'I missed you.' My voice is scratchy and I have to clear my throat in the middle of the sentence to make myself sound clearer. He leans his cheek against the top of my head. I can feel the warmth of his skin on mine. 'I missed you too baby.'

Neither of us say anything. I wonder if he can hear the hurricane inside my bones. The sound of thunder, rain and harsh wind.

Jack is the first one to speak up. ‘I know I’ll never fully understand what it’s like. The things you feel and think and experience everyday.’ He inhales deeply before he continues. Eyes staring at the pillows still on the floor. ‘But I’ll always be here to make it easier, take some of the weight off.’

Most people don’t have the luxury of having someone that understands, somebody to help when the cords get bundled up. Untangle every knot and smooth out the bumps. That let me feel the emotions when I need to scream, remind me of things I’ve forgotten and just be there.

‘I love you Jack, thank you for always understanding.’

���For you Y/N I’ll never stop trying to understand.’

[lutawolf]

Taking Kinnporsche Notes

I'm re-watching the episodes in order to give my perspective on the colors. While doing so, I'm noticing things that I want to take note of that isn't lighting or color related. So I'm just going to put it here and update it through out the day. Update: It got too long so I'm going to have to make a new blog every time and just attach a link. There is just no way.

Something that I want to keep in the back of my mind, is just how easily Kinn leaves his body guards during the shoot out. He really gives off the impression that he has a strong self survival instinct. I mean yes, Big told him to go but Kinn didn't even hesitate.

Kinn saves Porsche from being shot and then grabs him to have them run together. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think this is instant love but I think this speaks to Kinn's either hidden self or his honor code. If it's honor code is it because he still owes Porsche? Or is it because Porsche doesn't work for him yet so therefor isn't expendable because he didn't agree to that.

When Porsche goes to take Kinn's watch he notices Kinn's ring. He pauses and there is a clear sense of recognition.

There is a point when they are at the bar and Kinn is telling him to come or the bar gets trashed. Porsche goes for a bottle. Not to drink but clearly a bar fight move (don't ask me how I know that) but then he re-thinks. He also knows he is going to get jumped but there is no fight other than to say oh! Okay he struggles a little but clearly he isn't trying. He originally thought Kinn was here for the watch but that's not it so he wants to know what Kinn wants.

Porsche's uncle says "calm down and talk to me nicely, I'm your uncle" @luckydragon10 pointed out that this is due to Porsche dropping honorific. Then Porsche says "That's exactly why I haven't crushed you" his uncle doesn't say anything else to this. To me this indicates it's a fact that they both recognize. I think Porsche down plays his abilities a lot but the uncle knows the truth.

Additional information given by @moerusai Huge shout out and thank you because it's really helpful information. "Porsche was using very rude pronouns with his uncle in that moment. (In any typical Asian household, he would get straight up slapped for speaking to his seniors like that 😬)" "But he dropped it and used honorifics again when he said "Leave." I totally missed this next one so I won't be surprised if others did too. "Porsche also uses the Rude™️ pronouns with Kinn, which triggers Big and "You can't talk to Boss Kinn like that."

Somehow Mafia Dad knows Porsche's abilities. He is setting up his son to have someone he can trust and rely on. He loves his son very much and plans on him taking over. He isn't going to hand him over to a fool.

One of the things that points to Porsche's skills in fighting. At least to me anyways, is him actively trying not hurt someone. When fighting Kinn's body guards, he is careful. He doesn't really attack fighting until Kinn and Kinn asked for it. Otherwise he puts a foot up but doesn't connect, he ducks, he shoves, and he pants. That's a lot harder to do than just making the decision to connect. It involves thinking while fighting as apposed to repetition.

Kinn's friends say that Porsche looks like just his type. Which we know isn't true in the books. I don't think there would be much choice in saying this though unless they went with a different actor cause Apo pretty. That's Kinn's type, pretty. You can't unpretty Apo. It's just not possible.

I think that when Kinn is dressing Porsche and he looks at him in the mirror and appears startled. It's because this is when he recognized his attraction to Porsche. Again not feelings, not love, but attraction.

Did anybody notice in the scene with the kid that Porsche did not beat him up. He ducked and dodged. He did not hurt the kid as so many people have implied.

I'm curious about the choking scene. Is it supposed to be coincidence that he knows exactly how to correctly choke and how long to hold it? BTS show that Apo taught Miles how to correctly choke. If you look he is choking from the sides versus pushing into the front part of the throat. Side choking not only keeps you from putting pressure on vulnerable areas but it also allows you to feel the pulse.

[userholland]

i saw your announcement and came to ask asap. can you like do a hurt/comfort blurb where reader and tom get into an argument and he goes to sleep in a different place and like he forgets to say i love you but he always says i love you so reader gets upset and they try to make up????? tysm i really love your writing

pairing－ tom holland x fem!reader [hurt/comfort au]

contains－ plain angst, privilege snooty kids, poor communication, sweet and comforting ending (like y'all know gotta go your own way in hsm. its like that. mwah)

word count－ 1k

masterlist | blurb requests open! (nsfw + fluff)

Ironically, it was stressful dating a celebrity (especially one you grew up with from the start). It wasn't only hard to watch the man you love taking on the fame but adjusting to what felt like a new lifestyle.

Sometimes, you wish you could flashback to regular nights without the constant paranoia that a camera was over your shoulder or some celebrity friend would call last minute about a party invite. As exciting as it was for Tom, he didn't realize it had taken a toll on you as well and you'd reach your limit tonight.

The night started out glamorous and grand because Tom's new friends asked him to come to a new bar, supposedly it's going to take off and all so, Tom should pay his mind to it. Suggesting that he could stay in with you after his long day on set, he insisted on going still.

Now, you didn't have a problem with him wanting to do what he wants, you loved going out together, but the people he surrounded himself with weren't favorable. They were loud, entitled, and fresh to Hollywood, coming off as snooty, although you admitted it could be that this is just new to you and you weren't around your "normal" friends.

As much as you wanted to keep on a smile the whole night, it became harder with every word you had to listen to. Tom was having fun, at least to your eyes he was, extending his overtired feeling just to socialize, but you didn't understand most of the conversations since they were clearly about acting.

Just as you wanted to start a new conversation, Angela, his co-star, drunkenly giggled as she asked what you were working on. When answering that you weren't an actor, she acted as if you were a nerd joining the cool kids' table. There was something so condescending about her answer that it boiled your blood.

"I'm gonna go." You blatantly said, not taking the treatment. You tossed your napkin on your chair before leaving toward the exit.

Tom quickly got up, following right behind you and he gently grabbed your wrist right when you got past the entrance, "Where are you going?"

"Home, or back to the apartment." You spat, pulling your arm back.

"Why? We were having a good time-"

"You. You were having a good time. Those people are awful, and I don't care what you say, I just won't take that." You tell him, wanting to scoff at his ignorance.

"C'mon, you're being a bit dramatic." He stated.

"Dramatic? You're all dramatic. Laughing about your camera angles and exposé... whatever that is. You guys sound a bit insufferable. This isn't like you at all."

A few people passing stared at you two arguing so, Tom guided you toward the alley where you could get more privacy and could only hope no one was taking a video or picture.

"Y/N-"

"No, I'm not gonna stay. Frankly, I don't want to be here. I was hoping we got to go back to London and just... feel normal for a few days, but you insisted on hanging out with these kinds of people who hurt my feelings for not being famous. When's the last time you called your friends anyways? It's like... you're a different person."

Tom, offended, rolled his eyes at your comment, "Okay, let's just settle this in the morning and just put on a nice smile and go back in there."

"No, I just can't be here right now." You said, and he pulled back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I wanna leave. Are you coming with me or not?" You ask him as if it was a question, but his hesitation with silence following didn't comfort you, "Tom?"

He clenched his jaw, his heart thudding against his chest, "No, I'm not leaving."

You scoff, "Then don't bother coming back if you want to sit around with a bunch of people who only care about your career and not you."

After you turned around to head to the apartment, Tom gulped as he wanted to mutter your name. He so badly could give in, saying he's sorry and that he loved you, but he was so angry that he didn't want to speak it out of a place it shouldn't come from the unsettling stress he felt. It wasn't fair to make him choose, but at the same time, it seemed like a no-brainer. You didn't want to lose each other. Just as he wanted to say "i love you" across the street, you did too, but instead, you two went your separate ways.

－ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

In the morning, Tom's eyes ached as if someone punched him deep in his sockets. The dryness under his eyes was unbearable and he only felt pain in his neck and back from how uncomfortable his friend's couch was all night.

You weren't doing so hot either. Leaning over the bed to avoid the pillow and sheets where his cologne lingered, constantly replaying the moment in your head and wishing you hadn't made him choose. You were emotional but so cruel to him with less than a valid explanation.

Both of you fucked up, and it had to be said.

Just as you reached for your phone, there was a knock at the door. As you rolled out of bed, feeling like you were coming down from a cold, you went to the front door and opened it to see Tom standing there with tired, red eyes.

"About last night-"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." You told him.

He nodded, "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have just left you... especially without saying 'I love you'." Tom gulped.

"Me too..." You trailed, "Me too."

Without hesitating, the two of you embraced a tight hug as if you'd been apart for years. It wasn't the worst fight you had, but one that you decided to leave each other's sides after vowing to never do that to one another.

"I love you so much." He said against your ear, still hugging you.

"I love you so much too." You whimpered.

He kissed your forehead, not letting you go to make up for the time you were apart. Dramatic as it seemed, you both realized how much you truly adored each other and how special your love was.

[joealwyndaily]

Joe Alwyn interview with Arena HOMME+

Lenny Abrahamson: In Conversations with Friends your character, Nick, is an actor. And there's a scene where Frances asks him about his work and Nick says that the thing he likes about acting, as opposed to real life, is 'knowing what to say, what comes next.' Is there anything in this that chimes with your own relationship with what you do?

Joe Alwyn: I find that very hard to answer, so thanks for starting there Lenny!... But I guess one: it means I don't have to be myself, and two, it means I do get to be myself! That sounds really unclear, I know, but what I mean is I like playing other people because you get to step out of your own shoes, and there's a part of me that has always liked that removal. But at the same time, in pretending to be someone else, in totally unrelated and ridiculous circumstances, there's an odd kind of catharsis. You can funnel yourself through other people and express things that you might otherwise put a lid on and bury as 'you'. And so there can be this great feeling of release. Jesus, I don't know if that makes any sense?? But with my character Nick... Well, I don't think it's as crippling for me, Joe, as it is for Nick, with regards to knowing what to say, or what comes next. I certainly like the structure of the job in general, once you have it. A few months of knowing where you're going to be and what you're going to work on, that's a nice luxury before the panic of not knowing what's next kicks in.

LA: After a day's filming, can you let it go or do you rethink and critique what you've done? How do you get along with yourself when you're working?

JA: I'm British, so I think it's in my nature to second-guess and rethink what I've done. I'd love to have a bit more of that American self-belief, but it just seems to built into our bones to question everything we do. I do it more at the start of a shoot when I'm still finding my feet and wondering why on earth I've been trusted to do the job. It gets easier as it goes on, but I suppose I'm harder on myself more often than kind, which is something I'm trying to work on and change. I feel like working on this show taught me a huge amount. And to be clear, I had so, so much fun making this. It was a dream job and in many ways I could not have been happier. I feel ridiculously lucky. So, thank you, Lenny...

LA: Do you remember how you felt when you first read Conversations with Friends? What excited you about it? Now that you've seen what we made together, do you think we've captured the things you admired about the book?

JA: I loved it when I read it. I loved how human they all were, Sally's characters. And I loved how it was funny and moving and extraordinary and had these huge shifts but actually always in quite a subtle way. It just felt very real. I've not seen all of our episodes yet but I do think we held onto those qualities. At least I hope we have. And really that starts with you, Lenny! The way that you approached the material, you seem to interrogate every line and moment in such detail, looking at all the possibilities of what each beat could be. Your knack for building a world that just feels really, really genuine — complex and intricate and alive and subtle — is amazing. It's there in a lot of your work — obviously most recently in Normal People. An attention to detail (without ever being overbearing) that creates these very real worlds and people, and watching how you track each of us within that�� it's incredible to see. I also think that to accept the complexity of what Sally is talking about you have to see both positives and negatives in all the characters. It's not as simple as having good and bad. There's a joy in accepting the complexity of it all, and so you can't really ever know exactly who you're fully ‘rooting’ for. There can't be an outright villain or anything. I think that feels well done here.  it's messy and complicated in the right way.

LA: Forgive me for this, but what's it like being so handsome? I promise this is a straight up and very serious question!

JA: If it helps, I'm incredibly stupid.

LA: One of the great pleasures for me in making this show was watching how you and the other actors formed such strong bonds and how much fun you had. How would you describe the dynamic between you all?

JA: We got lucky there! When you spend five months with a group of people you cross your fingers that you'll get along. And we all really did. We were shooting in a time of partial lockdown, so we had no choice but to hang out with each other on the weekends. Luckily, everyone just clicked. And I think that really fed into the work on screen too. we all weirdly morphed into our characters a bit but maybe that's inevitable. It was great though — it was a job, but it was also a really special life experience with a special group. We'd be filming on the beach in Croatia during the week, only to all go back to the same spot at the weekend. It was just so much fun.

LA: Most of your big scenes are with the wonderful Alison Oliver who plays Frances. How was it working with her?

JA: It's incredible that this is her first role out of drama school. She's wonderful in the show. I don't think that there could have been a better Frances. She brings so much to the role and worked so hard, and you could see that each day on set. Beyond her being so talented, she was just the most joyful, genuinely excited person to have around; completely positive and willing to jump in and try anything. It was inspiring to see that positivity and enthusiasm each day.

LA: What was it like playing a middle-class South Dubliner? How did you work on the accent and get a sense of that very specific world?

JA: I remember you when I chatting right after being cast and wondering whether we wanted to do this British or Irish. the South Dublin voice we landed on isn't too far from home, really. In some ways I find that trickier, when there isn't a huge departure from how you normally sound. It really is quite light and almost anglicized. We also decided that this was someone who had spent a number of years in London, and was married to a Brit… so his accent was at a place where it come a lot softer than it could be. I listen to a lot of people like Andrew Scott and Tom Vaughn-Lawlor, worked a lot with the wonderful coaches — Neil Swain and Judith McSpadden — and luckily, you and Ed [Guiney] we're never too far out of earshot! I didn't want it too twangy, which I noticed it can sometimes be. That didn't feel right for Nick. It was useful talking to you about that very particular world and upbringing. And although in some ways it's very different, it was useful to get a flavour of some of those types of schools and boys and backgrounds from What Richard Did.

LA: I think it's hard for people in our industry who gets a lot of attention not to let it go to their heads. You manage to be open, generous and kind to everyone that you're working with. How do you guard against becoming disconnected from other people?

JA: Well, thanks for saying that but I make sure my days include plenty of crippling insecurity, impostor syndrome, and self-doubt. Plus, I'm awful to people behind their backs! No, I guess because why wouldn't you be? it makes me frustrated, the rare times that you see people treat others unkindly on set. Who do you think you are?! I don't know. you don't see it often, and I'm lucky that I've never worked with a real tyrant, but I've seen flavours of that kind of behaviour and it doesn't help anyone. I honestly think I'd find it harder to work if I ostracized myself from people in that way. it's also literally our job to stay very connected and empathize with others… not to disconnect altogether and stand on some higher ground.

LA: Now that you worked with me, does it feel like you've peaked? Joking aside — I'm not joking — who are the film makers you'd be most excited to collaborate with?

JA: During these past few months that you've been in postproduction, I finally managed to process and (just about) come to terms with the fact that you were indeed my peak, my everything, my summit. My perfect pint of Guinness on a warm, sunny day. Where do I go from here? In all honesty, I have an overly long list of people I'd love to work with. Brace yourself… Off the top of my head… Chloé Zhao, Rob Eggers, Sean Durkin, Lynne Ramsey, the Coens, Luca Guadagnino, Debra Granik, Eliza Hittman, PTA, Francis Lee, Barry Jenkins, Martin McDonagh, Guillermo Del Toro, Chris Nolan, Andrea Arnold, Ruben Östlund, László Nemes, Greta Gerwig, Craig Gillespie… Okay enough! But it goes on…

LA: I love The Souvenir Part 2. Joanna Hogg is a brilliant filmmaker with a particular way of working with script. How was that experience for you?

JA: I loved being a part of that film! Joanna doesn't, to my knowledge, ever give a script to the actors, so everything is improvised. You have no idea what the full story is, and only a few directions are given as to the shape of the scene. I found the improvisation scary but oddly liberating, and really refreshing. There's nowhere to hide. You can't not listen to whoever you're talking to. There is no incoming queue. It feels real and alive. And Joanna will curate the scene after each take, honing in on the bits that worked well. I only popped in for a couple of days on the film but I'm so happy to have been a part of it and I'd love to work with Joanna again. Yes, she's a brilliant filmmaker.

LA: Now that we are close to broadcasting the show, do you feel nervous about how it will be received, particularly in light of the success of Normal People?

JA: I don't think it's hit me at the people will actually see it. it still feels like we're in this bubble of making it, maybe because the turn around was so fast and we only finished a few months ago… or maybe because it was created in the pandemic. Inevitably, as with anything, there are nerves about people seeing it. I do feel that it's very different to normal people though. it shares similar qualities, but it does feel very much its own thing. it isn't 'Normal People Part II,’ and I think that separation helps. I'm happy that people will see the show soon. I hope it will at least spark some conversations… with… well, I don't know, perhaps, their friends? Alright, enough for me! thanks so much for taking the time to ask me these questions, Lenny. I appreciate it. See you soon for a pint.  

[credit]

[ravs6709]

Won't You Shine With Me (Oh Distant Star Of Mine)- Hekster, Kam, Marelliana, Fedex

Act 1. Act 2 (here). Act 3. Act 4. Act 5. Act 6.

Or read on ao3 here!

Word count: 4.7k words

Act 2 to my revue starlight au! If you haven't read act 1 yet, make sure you do that! And okay, I say all those ships, but act 2 has focus on hekster and kam, the other two will get their turn in the later acts

Fun fact, this was going to be a oneshot, but then it was getting long so since i was already splitting into acts, i decided to post each act separately

Again, I know very little of theatre lol, I'm just vibing here.

Warnings: censored swearing, brief mention of drowning that isn't too serious but warning anyway

•~•~•~•~•~•

ACT 2

SCENE 1

"Punishment?" Stina gasped, jolting up.

Her heart pounded wildly, almost terrified, before realizing that she was in her room.

"Are you okay?" Linh asked from the other side of the room, awake, but in bed. "That startled me."

"It's nothing," Stina replied.

She had no memory of getting into bed. So was it seriously just one long dream? Well, a dream made more sense than an alicorn being real, and Foxfire having secret duels in its basement that allowed people to magically transform into outfits that looked like something Stina would see in a cartoon.

(It was more realistic than Sophie Foster being back in her life.)

...there was a suitcase in the room. The suitcase that belonged to Sophie. The pillow beside her was also warm.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Linh asked.

"Yeah," she breathed, retaking in the events that had happened the night before. Well, if an alicorn was real, then maybe it was the reason she woke up in bed. "Where's Sophie?"

"She went for a walk. You're having her room here?"

"Uh, yeah. I probably should have asked you in advance..."

Linh smiled. "It's fine! I don't mind."

Stina nodded. "Thank you."

She quickly got herself changed so she could go look for Sophie. She let her off last night, but she needed answers. She ran around the school, but didn't find her. She figured that she'd just see her in class, then. Sophie was sitting at her desk, and the moment Stina opened her mouth to talk to her, Mr. Forkle walked in. 

Of course.

Classes were extra lively this time, and Stina didn't have the idle time to chat with Sophie. It wasn't like she was completely avoiding her, because she was present when they were with other people. Sophie even struck a few, mildly awkward conversations with her during lunch. Never alone, never in a place that Stina could ask her about the revue yesterday.

 When Stina and Tam were paired together to practice another dance, Tam was a lot more aggressive in his movements, and she could barely keep up with him.

"Hey Bangs Boy, calm yourself!" Keefe said from the sidelines.

If she hadn't known hadn't known better, she probably would have said something similar to him. But she did know, and she wasn't in the mood to deal with an angry Tam. Especially when she was the cause for it.

"The revues were supposed to be duels," Tam whispered, "why did you interfere?"

"Silveny never stopped me, and I thought that I needed to act. Is there any other reason that I have?"

"Do you even know what you're getting yourself into?"

"No, but I'm trying to get Sophie to explain it to me."

"You're saying you never got an email?"

"An email?"

Tam sighed, "Oh, for f*cks sake. You were never even meant to be here, were you?"

"I don't think so."

"It's not like you can opt out now."

"Okay," she said. She figured that she'd have to try harder now too.

"You can't opt out of acting now, now that you're giving yourself to the stage."

"I think I get that much." 

She'd said she'd quit, she could have just left the two of them alone to fight each other, but she didn't. In the end, she really was an actor, even towards herself, huh?

SCENE 2

"You should quit the auditions," Sophie told her.

"What?" Was she serious? The idea of being the Top Star, of shining so bright, Sophie was telling her to drop out? "Tam told me you can't opt out."

"Who told him that?" Sophie asked.

"I trust his opinions more than most of of the people in the school." She shrugged. "Why should I quit when I've just started?"

"Because you want to quit acting, because you have a fading glimmer that won't make it in these revues."

"What do you know?" Stina snapped. "People get irritated and say whatever all the time. How do you know if I wasn't doing the exact same thing? You haven't seen me in ten years, what do you know about my skills and my 'glimmer?' I'll shine as bright as I want to! I'd say that you're the type of person who who would never discourage someone from following their passion, from doing what they think is right, but what do I know about you, Sophie Foster?"

Not for the first time in two days, she found herself to be the biggest fool, to think that things would stay the same. That they'd carry on from where they'd left off. She was stupid to think that Sophie cared about their promise as much as she did. What did she even know about Sophie? So much time was enough to change one's personality.

"I finally have the opportunity to be on the same stage as you, and you want me to quit?" Stina asked, her voice wavering so much more than she wanted it to.

Sophie flinched. Good, feel just as devastated as she felt right now. Look just as shattered as the relationship that they shared.

"That's not what I meant at all—"

"Well that's certainly what it sounds like! I came all this way, I begged my parents to enroll me in a crap ton of different lessons when they just wanted me to help them take care of the business, I worked my *ss off so I could get myself into Foxfire—which has a stupidly low acceptance rate, not that it matters to you, since you have your stupidly bright 'glimmer'—I came here because of you, and now you're telling me to quit. Tell me, what the hell does this sound like?"

"I don't want you to quit acting," Sophie whispered, tugging on an eyelash. Apparently she kept at that habit, and Stina suppressed the urge to tug her hand like she would in the past. "I want you to quit the revues."

Quit the revues, with its bright lights and grand stage, with its challenge to sing and dance and fight, where Stina had actually shone brighter than someone else for once, had beat Tam when he was better than her in every aspect? "If I quit now, how can I call myself an actor? How could I continue to stand on a stage knowing that I had ran from it?"

"Quit the revues, for my sake—for the sake of our promise," was all Sophie replied.

Stina stilled, because that was the first time that Sophie was referring to it. "You're so stubborn," she muttered, turning away with a huff.

Her phone rang.

SCENE 3

Tam took a deep breath, then continued on. Step, step, point of the toe, spin around, repeat again. The room was silent save for the sound of his light humming. He glided around the room with the ease that came from years and years of practice, but it wasn't enough. Never had been enough. It needed to be enough.

"So, Stina?" Someone asked, and Tam tripped over his feet.

A hand wrapped around his waist and another grabbed his hand as he was spun around, turning his embarrassing fall into a dip.

 As a stage performer, he had to be used to people being handsy with him, but most people didn't touch him when he wasn't performing. There was one person though, who had the audacity to do something like that. A person with ice blue eyes and an infuriating smirk.

"What are you doing here?" Tam asked.

"I came here to see you," Keefe replied, his eyes shining as he leaned them both lower. "So, Stina?"

When Keefe let him up, he immediately shifted so that he led, twirling Keefe and then dipping him. "It doesn't matter. I lost."

"If it doesn't matter, why are you scowling?"

Spinning and twirling, making use of the entire room as they moved, they alternated between leading and following.

"You tell me," Tam quipped. "Did you come here just to bother me?"

Keefe laughed. "About Stina? Not really. In general, yeah."

"I hate it when you do that," Tam said, setting the pace to be a little faster, a little less forgiving.

"Do what?"

"Be so casual about the revues. Find it enjoyable to disrupt my practice."

"Am I disrupting you when we're dancing here together?" Keefe asked, something indecipherable about his voice.

Step, step, rotate, push against each other. "In this case, no. But you don't do this for practice, for yourself. You just... do what you want."

"Are you still mad at me that I got one of the lead roles in Keeper of the Lost Cities instead of you?"

"No." It was a half-lie. The role of the Empath wasn't the problem, it was that he lost to Keefe. Kept losing to Keefe. But he wouldn't understand that, when he kept glowing and shining and casting most of the others into the shadows. The only two who shone brighter than him were Fitz and Biana, the Vacker siblings, and two of Keefe's best friends, so losing to them didn't matter as much to Keefe.

The worst part of it was that Keefe hardly tried. All that glow was completely natural, completely innate. Tam had the natural talent too, but it would always be frustrating to see someone hardly try and consistently do better than you. Then again, he wasn't alone in that part; seeing Dex and Marella lift their heads and glare at the Vackers. Those two could compete with the two stars; Keefe was the star that Tam wanted to outshine.

(He honestly couldn't even figure out why he was so fixated on this, why he had been fixated on this for nearly a year now. He wasn't even the hardest worker in the group, he didn't care about winning as much as some of the others did.

So why, why did this matter to him?)

"You're no fun when you won't even talk back to me," Keefe muttered.

Tam opened his mouth to reply, but then two phones rang, playing out the same ringtone, when he knew that they used different ones.

"Well, looks like we're both going down there today. You think we'll go against each other?" Keefe asked.

Tam smirked. "I hope so."

SCENE 4

"Millions of stars twinkle in the sky, Yet only few will catch your eye. I am Foxfire student, Tam Song! I'll outshine everyone!" Tam unsheathed his sword.

"What a speech, did you practice?" Keefe asked, and a spotlight flashed on him, where he was standing on a platform high up on the stage.

"The brightest, coolest stars are the ones that you see, Through song and dance will I gleam, I am Foxfire student, Keefe Sencen! I won't let you beat me, Tam!" A soft shing of a sword being unsheathed could be heard.

"You can't make fun of my speech with what you've said," Tam told him, staring up at him.

He stomped on the ground and a pillar grew from the stage, elevating him so that he was now on Keefe's level.

"Swirling and whirling the world goes round, The star shines above it all, waiting for the one to be crowned."

☆ REVUE OF CONTENTION☆

Round and round and round, they circled each other as they both sang, pillars supporting their every step. The pillars that held their previous steps would crumble into ash. Circle and circle, slowly approach each other, slowly reach the centre of the stage. When they reached the centre, a large platform formed under their feet, enough space for them to truly start their fight.

"A single bright light won't stand out much, Who'll catch the star's attention, that star is our judge."

Tam sang, charging forward, carefully tracing his feet in movements he had practiced for so long. Step, step, turn, slash. Slid the blade down Keefe's until they were no longer clashing, pretended to stagger so that Keefe would try and take the moment for himself, only for Tam to strike. Movements with the sword weren't ones that he was able to practice, but just partnering with Keefe for exercising and practicing the techniques that would be used on stage were enough for him to figure out his habits, the way he moved.

He ducked, swinging his sword in an upward arc, the aiguillette in sight, and his sword was about to cut it—

Clank! Metal clashed against metal, and Tam was shoved down.

"The two lights travel on the same wavelength, You're not the only one to know the other's weakness and strength."

Keefe slashed at him as he sang, and Tam could barely find a moment to get himself to stand up. He was edged towards the end of the platform. Keefe smirked at him, and he had the urge to really hit him. Instead, he let himself fall, let his vision of the stage catch him so he could regain his footing. He climbed up and up again, put himself back on even footing with Keefe.

"Do tell me what is it that you seek? That you would climb here to this peak?"

Swords clashed against each other again.

"Shouldn't you know the answer to your question? (I should know the answer) I thought you knew me enough to grasp my intention. (I thought I knew you enough)"

Each attack was blocked and parried, each clash louder than the previous.

"You know, I've always hated you."

Tam thought that the words had slipped from his mouth, but instead, they came from Keefe.

"I hate, I hate, I hate..."

"I mean, you already knew that. You already knew that I find you and your face irritating. You already knew it's why I come and bother you."

"You should know that I feel the same way too," Tam replied.

"I hate, I hate, I hate..."

"You act too familiar with me, you're always distracting me solely to be annoying. Beating me in this isn't enough for you to partake in the revues," Tam said. "I'm here because I want to be the 'Top Star', what about you?"

"Am I not allowed to want to be the 'Top Star' too?"

"Since when did you care about something like that? Don't tell me that it's because of me."

Their feet kept moving as they fought, a familiar pattern that the two of them had danced dozens of times.

"And what if it was?" Keefe asked, putting a surprising amount of strength into their next clash.

Tam stumbled back. "Annoying me wouldn't mean that much to you. It would mean that you don't care about winning, it would be solely about me, and Silveny would have never let down here if it were about that."

"Maybe I hate you that much. Maybe I'm here because I want you to lose, and then I can have you watch as I win. Ever think of that, Bangs Boy? It's not like you know me that well that you can say otherwise."

"I hate you," Tam said. "I hate you."

"I hate, I hate, I hate..."

He hated his infuriating, cocky personality, he hated his ice blue eyes and hair that shone like sunlight, especially under the stage, hated his annoying smirk that made his heart beat faster, hated his words and his talent that only made him want to act better.

"I hate what that bright light of yours does to me. I hate that it's only there for me to see."

Sparks flew from the force they clashed swords with. Tam could feel his heart pumping, and he had never felt so alive on the stage where the spotlights pointed at the two of them.

"I've never wanted anything in my life more, Than to shine brighter than I have before. I hate that I need you there to watch as I soar."

"What were you like before I knew you?" Tam asked him. "What were you like that me not knowing that matters?"

"Fitz used to walk a block over to my house and drag me out of bed every morning. I'd get to school and then I'd ditch as many classes as possible. I only enrolled here because Daddy Dearest was being a piece of sh*t as always and he wanted me to go into acting, but I agreed because it meant I got to live here."

"Sounds a lot like Linh and I, then," Tam commented.

"Don't say that," Keefe snapped. "I hate you, remember that. I came to this damn academy, and then I met you and you became my roommate. Next thing I knew, I was getting out of bed on my own, and I was going to class on time consistently. I could've been doing what I always did, ditch and do whatever I wanted, but for some f*cking reason, the thing I wanted to do was be with you! I hate your stupid bangs and your attitude but I keep coming back to you. I hate it. I could've spent my afternoons playing pranks on people, but instead I practice with you. I hate it."

"We'll clash swords and dance as we fight and compare, I'll shine bright for as long as you're there."

They moved closer and closer and they were right in each other's faces, then backed away for space. The platform beneath them started crumbling, but the stage  was giving them a new platform, suspended by two ropes. They fought and chased each other from one platform to the next. They ran across the stage, taking hold of the ropes and swinging over and under, revolving around each other in a way that was natural.

"I used to hate the stage," Keefe continued, "but I think I'm learning to love it."

"Because of me."

"Don't get so full of yourself, it's not only about you. You think Silveny would've let me down here if it were about that?" He echoed Tam's earlier words. "But you certainly make me want to try when I never did before."

Faster and faster they swung, and Tam realized that he was being met with the true force of Keefe's brilliance. Tam couldn't help but be in awe of this Keefe, this Keefe who never showed this to anyone in the past, and Tam was the first to witness this glow, this shine, this blinding light.

Shing!

A button flew in the air and two swords were dropped, Tam lost hold of the rope he was swinging from but was caught by an arm on the waist by Keefe, who was smiling a smile filled with unbridled glee. Tam's heart skipped a beat, and he couldn't even flee from this proximity. He was overly conscious of the fact that their legs were touching—skin to skin, because they both wore those skirts.

"You're beautiful when you're like this," he blurted breathlessly, his words slipping out before his brain could even think of them.

"I'm always beautiful," Keefe corrected, "it's part of my charm."

Tam scowled, not deigning him a response. He was right, but he didn't need that big of an ego boost.

Winning this revue was enough of one.

They finally descended to the ground, and Keefe set him down, his knees wobbling at the lack of support on his waist.

A spotlight shone down on Keefe, shining in his yellow outfit, a red jacket hanging over his shoulder. "Position Zero!" he declared, stabbing the ground with his sword. "I am Keefe Sencen!"

"Audition three! Over!" Silveny announced. "Keefe win!"

The curtains closed, hiding them from the audience's point of view.

"Well, that was intense," Keefe said. "Bangs Boy, you need a hand?"

Keefe offered his hand and Tam took it; in fact, he went several steps further and cupped Keefe's cheek with his other hand. He leaned forward.

"This isn't over, I'll beat you next time we compete."

He pulled away just enough to see irritation flash in those eyes of his. "Oh, for f*ck's sake."

And then Keefe kissed him. Tam froze in shock, then pulled him closer, closer, closer, melting into it, pouring in that still pent up passion he felt into it. One of them might have sighed into the kiss, but that was irrelevant, he was kissing Keefe.

"Some hatred this is," Keefe murmured against his lips. "You're right, this isn't over."

Tam pulled him closer again to shut him up. Again and again, until they grew more chaste, breathless.

"Of course I'm right," Tam said finally, taking amusement in the annoyed scrunch of Keefe's face. "Whatever this is—whatever we are to each other, it doesn't change that we are on the stage."

"Yeah, so don't expect me to go easy on you, Tam."

"Likewise, Keefe."

SCENE 5

Stina walked back into the elevator. The ringtone had startled her, but after seeing the icon of an alicorn spinning, she understood what that ringtone meant. She arrived in the underground theatre just in time to see the curtains close—was there another revue happening just now?—and then open again to show a blank stage.

"On this colourful stage of light and dark, I shine like a shooting star! Reborn, I am Foxfire student, Stina Heks! A dazzling night sky will be created!"

A new spotlight shone where her opponent stood.

"This stage made of hopes and dreams to pursue, Is not a place for the listless and those who don't value, Standing here, I am Foxfire student, Linh Song! I love the stage too much to lose here!"

Stina froze. "Linh?"

She almost asked 'what are you doing here?' but realized that if Tam was part of this, she should have expected that Linh would be too.

"I really like you, Stina," Linh said, idly twirling a light blue quarterstaff in her hand that matched her outfit. "I don't have anything against you, personally."

"Is this because I beat Tam yesterday?" she asked.

Linh smiled. "It'd be easy to think that it's as simple as that, wouldn't it? I'm aware of what happened yesterday, and I know why you won. Whether it was against Tam or Keefe or Biana, the result wouldn't have changed, nor would my reaction now be different."

Stina had only known her for a year, but she knew her enough to recognize the inflection of her voice when she was angry. "What do you mean?"

A loud whirring sounded from above, and Stina moved back just in time to avoid a massive downpour of water that nearly fell on her head, continuously pouring, getting her boots wet.

"We're stage performers, we give ourselves to the stage. Every joy, every sorrow, every bit of rage."

Small platforms appeared and Linh ascended them. Stina stood still, confused, until she realized that the water was rising.

"Won't this just drain off the stage and affect our—hypothetical—audience?" Stina asked.

Linh didn't reply, instead continuing what she was singing.

"I've worked hard for years to try and climb to the top, And Iwon't have it to hear that you'll stop!"

☆ REVUE OF CONVICTION ☆

Oh, Stina understood everything now. "Linh," she called out, hopping onto a platform.

"You think that I would have climbed up here for nothing, You think that in my heart I lack the yearning and loving."

Maybe she didn't love the stage as much as Linh did, but she still had the passion. She was here.

"You lack the conviction to make it through the revues."

"Then why am I here to see it through?"

"You're not here because you love the stage," Linh told her, and irritation flowed through her veins, she went for the attack. "You're here because you made a promise with Sophie."

"Is that what you think it is?"

"No," she blocked her axe with the staff, pushing it aside, nearly knocking her into the steadily rising water. Apparently it did not drain off the stage. "I'm sure that is the case. I won't stop you from quitting, I'm your friend, and I'll support you through your decision. But you threw yourself into the revues without knowing what you're getting yourself into, not because of the stage, but because Sophie's here. You saw Sophie about to lose to Tam, and you jumped in."

"Take away that special someone, and what are you left with?"

"If Sophie didn't come here, would you have just transferred yourself to the production group? Would you have given up?"

"No," Stina answered. But honestly... she wasn't entirely sure of the answer.

"Take away that promise, and what are you left with? (What am I left with?) What are you left with? (What am I left with?) What are you left with if you lack the passion to be on stage?"

"Stina Heks, are you an actor or not?"

She opened her mouth to answer the question, only to be knocked into the water. She sank and the world moved in slow motion, falling, falling, Linh's singing growing quieter.

"If you truly love the stage, then you must show it!"

The words jolted her to reality, that she was drowning. She was sinking, falling, gaining distance from the star that she needed to grasp. Did she love the stage? It started with Sophie, started with the promise, but she could have chosen to break the promise, they were both five, it wouldn't have meant much. Especially after they separated a month later.

Or she could have just not made the promise in the first place. It may had been Sophie who introduced her to theatre, but it was Stina who was in awe, it was Stina who first made the promise.

That promise was in the foreground of her mind the entire time, but Stina Heks was not a person who did things half-heartedly.

She began swimming through this water, but had to drop the axe because it was too heavy. She reached the surface, but the nearest platform was too far away.

Something nudged her hand, and she instinctively grabbed it. It was the staff that Linh used, and now Linh was using it to drag her to the platform that she was sitting on.

"Linh," she said in between breaths. "What the f*ck was that?"

She smiled sweetly. "You weren't going to drown, it was all special effects. That's how the stage works, remember? It was all just a test of your conviction. And to me, you've passed."

She ripped off the golden button that she wore, tossing it to the now-draining water.

"Position Zero," Linh said, jabbing the ground. "This is Linh Song!"

"Audition four! Over!" Silveny announced. "Linh win!"

The curtains closed.

"An—an act?" Stina asked, confused but dragging herself to lay on the platform.

"We're stage performers, are we not? We act out the roles that are necessary to play. I wanted to see how much the stage meant to you, and if it didn't mean anything, you'd continue sinking until you reached the bottom."

"So you were pretending the entire time?"

She hummed. "Not entirely. You saying you wanted to quit did make me upset, though, as I said, I would've supported you if you did choose to do so. I just wouldn't be able to bear it if you quit when you didn't want to. It was a little cathartic, if I had to be honest."

Stina took that all in. The revue yesterday was simple—just jump in there and save Sophie. This one was much more methodical and it scared the crap out of her.

"Do you think it's wrong if Sophie is my greatest motivator?" Stina asked, looking up at the ceiling that was really, really high up.

"I don't think it's wrong," Linh replied, "I think Tam and Keefe are doing the same thing. It's... complicated to explain."

"Definitely." It was more of a reminder to remember that she was not just a follower, not someone to be strung along by the promise, but that she needed to show the conviction required to grasp the star, to fulfil the promise. That was what she understood. "Will the other revues be more like this?" Stina asked. If they were, she really needed to be careful.

"Who's to say? This is my first. We all have things we're aiming for, and different ways we plan to achieve it. We have different ideals, different visions for the stage we want to create for ourselves."

"You're terrifying," Stina said, turning to look at her. "That was terrifying."

Linh smiled. "Thank you."

☆ LEADERBOARD ☆

1. — Fitz Vacker

2. — Biana Vacker

3. — Keefe Sencen

4. — Tam Song

5. — Linh Song

6. — Marella Redek

7. — Dex Dizznee

8. — Sophie Foster

9. — Stina Heks

☆                               ☆

•~•~•~•~•~•

Kotlc taglist: @keefeinnit @my-swan-song @impostertamsong @subrosasteath

Want to be added/removed from the kotlc taglist? Just let me know!

[machinegunbun]

UnConventional Bakers [Pete]

Requested? no

word count? 1.7k

TW? None

A/n: it’s like 80% dialogue bc it’s supposed to be a tv show. whadder ya gonna do

The props department did a wonderful job this season, comedy inspired props sprinkled about the set. Mic stands ended in lollipops, rice krispy stools covered in modeling chocolate, Comedians stood at every station, patiently awaiting directions. 

Conventional Bakers was finally ready for shooting its first season. It was a show about famous people coming together on a baking show and competing. It would have everyone from singers to actors or, in this case, comedians. Every season would be inspired by the careers of the people competing.

“On this season of UnConventional Bakers we are joined by,” the camera took turns panning to each comedian as you said their name. 

“Kevin Hart, Pete Davidson, Adam Sandler and…” you paused for dramatic effect “Fluffy!!!”

The comedians protest coming fast after 

Why’d he get all the excitement?” Adam asks

“Yeah, i’m literally your fiance what the fuck.” Pete adds, laughing “I don’t like that, i don’t like that shit. I got my eye on you Gabriel.”

“Don’t hate me cause I'm beautiful.” Fluffy replies

“Bakers! Comedians, whatever,” you call out, trying to regain their attention, Pete playfully mumbled but returned his attention “if you want a chance at winning you will have to pay attention.”

“Got it, go. No wait… yeah okay, go.” Adam interrupts, causing you to bite back a smile. This would be a long shoot

“For tonight's challenge, you’re in for a treat. Because it’s only the first round, we’ll take it easy on you and allow teams.” muted murmurs fell over the room as they decided who would be on whose team, “Tonight we will be making the one thing a comedian couldn’t live without.” Your co-star, Nicole Byers, continues.

“Weed.” Pete guesses,

“No, their audience.”

“Oh, speak for yourself.” 

“You will be making your very own audience cupcakes. When we say go you will head to your baking stations where you will find step by step instructions on how to make your audience, along with photo references and the clock will begin counting down.” You say

“Go, go, go! What are you waiting for?!” Nicole rushes, you take your seat as they make their way to the respective stations. The teams ended up being Pete and Kevin, Gabe and Adam.

Things were going pretty smoothly, the comedians racing back and forth from the ingredients to their stations as things began starting up. As you look around, you see Pete and Kevin looking confused as they stare at the instructions.

“Something wrong, sweety?” you ask

“No, all good over here. Thanks for asking.” Gabe pipes up, you laugh and make your way over to Pete

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I shouldn’t have dropped out of college.”

“How come? What's wrong?”

“I need ⅔   a cup, but there’s not a ⅔  measurement cup.” he says

“Well, if you need ⅔  but there's not one, you just take two--” 

“Don’t patronize me. I got it.” Kevin cuts you off in the middle of explaining, grabbing two handfuls of flour and throwing it in the mixer “There, that should work.” 

You sigh, making your way over to the other stations to check on how everyone else was doing. Adam was doing well, which wasn’t a surprise considering he’s a father and probably does some baking at home.

“Gabe, how are you doing?” 

“Not good, I’m used to eating cake and not making it.”

“Oh hush, you’re doing fine!” You encourage, leaning forward to whisper to him “Kevin just measured flour with his hands, so I think you’ll be okay.”

“Guys, I think they’re talking about you.” Adam yells

“Yeah, I know.” Pete laughs.

“That's okay, cause you know what? Haters gonna hate.” Kevin yells

After making your rounds you sat back down, turning to face a laughing Nicole.

“That wasn’t sugar, that was salt.” She barely squeaks out “They’re gonna be so gross” you nod and laugh along, all but excited for the dishes that would soon be in front of you.

“On that note, can we get some water?” You call out to the team behind you

“And a medic?” Nicole adds

“And a mathematician. You understand this shit?” Pete says

“What? Basic measurements? Yeah baby, I do.” 

Before you knew it the timer had gone off and the cupcakes were sat in front of you. 

“So, these are what your audience were supposed to look like, and this is what they do look like.” Nicole says, vaguely gesturing to the cupcakes

“We- we uh, we took some creative liberties.” Pete says through a laugh

“Well, let’s see what it tastes like.” you say, grabbing one from the crowd and cheersing it with Nicole’s

“Might as well get this over with.” she says, making a clink noise with her mouth, as she does there's another noise too. The rock hard exteriors made a clunk noise. Your jaw dropped as you made eye contact with Nicole, not believing what had just happened

“Wait.” you say, grabbing another and throwing it at the ground with all the force you could muster. It cracked directly in half, crumbs flying across the floor.

“Pete!” you yell, an amused smile painted across your face. Pete laughs, covering his face 

“I have no idea what happened.”he says, picking up the cupcake from the floor

“This is my passion, how did you fuck up this hard?!”

“I have no fucking idea.” he laughs, crumbling it up in his hand.

“I guess we still have to taste it.” you say, grabbing another and cracking a piece off on the table, handing one to Nicole. When you bite down there's an audible crunch that makes everyone in the room wince. You can’t help the expression that overcomes your face as the taste hits your tongue, looking over to Nicole to confirm it wasn’t just you. It wasn’t.

You attempt to open your water, your hand slipping again and again until Pete walks over and opens it for you, feeding you the water as he apologizes through his laughter. It took you a minute of held back gags to recompose yourself, but when you finally did you said,

“Your BLEEP is sweeter than this.” You say, deeply preferring it over the burnt, salty, crunchy thing in front of you.

“Really?” Pete asks, laughing and when you nod your head it only makes him laugh harder.

“Pete, you fucked up Pete.” Kevin says. 

“Dont throw this on him, you’re the one who wouldn’t listen.” You say, looking over to Nicole who had resorted to licking the icing off the cupcake

“Look at what you’ve done to this poor lady. You should be ashamed. It’s gotta be a zero from me” You laugh, more than ready to move on.

“You know what, the icing wasn’t bad,” They began to fight over who had made the icing. “I don’t care, just promise to never do that again. Adam, Gabe, before I take a bite you have to promise me it won’t be like that.” Nicole says, dead serious. They shake their head, letting out little reassurances while choking down their laughter. You take a deep breath before lifting the cupcake to your mouth and taking a small test bite, surely traumatized. 

To your delight, it was actually very good. You smiled and nodded, taking another bite as Kevin and Pete groaned, knowing they’d surely lost.

“I feel like theirs was so bad we can’t even celebrate.” Adam says.

“Yeah, i don’t think we need to add insult to injury by announcing the winners of this round. On to the next?!” You cheer, preparing to announce what would come next.

“For your next challenge, we will be making cupriphon- cupcakeriphones- Okay, the name hasn’t been completely sorted out yet, cupcake microphones!” You announce

“Yes! And because we felt bad for the loser, that’s just in the script so i had to say it, i don’t actually feel bad for you that was disgusting. Because we felt bad for the loser, we decided to give them a leg up. If you look at the stations, two of them have buttons. They’re called the happy heckler buttons and when you press them a timer will be set and either Y/N or myself will go yell encouragement to your teammates until it goes off.” Nicole says

“Awhh, so sweet. Ready? Set? Go!” You yell, watching them scatter to try to find a station.

“Ay, stay back this is mine.” Fluffy says to Adam, haphazardly wielding a knife, momentarily fighting over a station before Nicole reminds them the timer is counting down. They take a look at their ingredients before rushing over to the storage space and grabbing what they need.

You’d managed to get to the decorating stage with little to no issues when you hear Kevin yelling, “Pete! I need your help, I need those long legs pete.” straining to grab something from the top shelf

“Hold on, one second.” He says, glancing back momentarily as he tried to finish decorating.

“Oh shit, you’re already decorating?” Kevin asks as Pete hands him what he needed before walking back to his station.

“Yeah, catch up.” Pete says

“Okay, i’ll catch up, if that's what you want.” Kevin says, slamming his button down in a melodramatic act of sabotage.

Nicole yells in excitement, ready for some action, running over to distract Pete.

“You dick! I thought we were friends.” he says, slamming his own button. You run over, making sure to get in Kevins face as you encourage him, giving him slaps on the back and shaking his shoulders. Things had gotten very chaotic, very fast.

When the four minutes were over you left Kevin’s station for Pete’s, hanging out with him as his cupcakes cooked in the oven. He was bent over in a hug with you, small kisses being pressed to each others lips.

“Doing so good baby.” you mumble, fingers tangled in his hair. Usually you didn’t like PDA, but you had made an exception today because it had been a long shoot and you missed him.

“Way better than last time.” He confirms, remembering last time they had burnt and opting to check the oven.

“Look at that! This aint fair, Pete’s sleepin with the judges!” Kevin yells, making everyone laugh

“You could be too, Kevin.” Nicole winks

“Nicole, you’re both married.” You remind them

“Hey, that's show business baby.” Kevin jokes

When it all came to an end, Adam ended up winning and it was a surprise.. To no one. He was the only one even kind of equipped to win and he rode that all the way to the finish line.

[shiny-jr]

hi ^^ maybe orchid, sage, and palm tree for the get-to-know-me ask game? xoxo

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

-> Oh god, okay hear me out, it's not really an official song but it's like a remix. I just mentioned in the last ask how I look forward to seeing a character called Namor, who's supposed to be the antagonist in the next Marvel movie Black Panther 2. I've ranted about it before too. So the first look they dropped for it was during Comic Con like two weeks ago. And in the mini trailer was a remix combining the song "No Woman, No Cry" by Bob Marley covered by Tems and "Alright" by Kendrick Lamar. It was never a remix I expected to hear, but it works so well together? I feel that it's really fitting considering there will likely be more powerful female protagonists and it captures the loss of the character T'Challa, which is probably where the movie will start off. It hits harder when you remember that the actor who played T'Challa, Chadwick Boseman, passed away two years ago and it really impacted many people. It feels like the beginning of the song is not only talking about T'Challa but about Chadwick too. So I feel like when both songs say the lyrics "Everything's gonna be alright"/"We gonna be alright," it's assuring the audience that everything will be alright despite the loss, in a way it may be like a means of comforting from the producers and cast to the fans.

sage ⇢ what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

-> Well, fiction. I try to admire paintings and art but I judge harshly and tend to skim over them. I don't like poetry because it's usually short, usually about things that don't interest me in the slightest, and I was always assigned to analyze them in high school and I loathed doing that. I do like to listen to music, but again, I'm picky with music too and I tend to like the weird songs. Statues are cool actually, especially the really detailed marble ones, but it's nothing actually "touching." I think fiction stands out more to me, probably because I'm more used to it and if you're skilled enough, you can actually portray emotions and perhaps even make readers feel something. But again, you have to be skilled to do so. Something I am not. But I've seen other writers on this platform who do have the ability to make me feel something for what they write.

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

-> Already answered!

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

The idea that we should consider the morality of the artist in all aspects (no matter how big or small the supposed transgression) has been growing aggressively, and it worries me.

I agree with you that we should consider how we contribute to financial gain if the issue warrants it. For example, I don’t pay for any further work from JK Rowling because I think her transphobic comments are dangerous. That said, I do watch the movies and read the books I already own.

The idea that you have to wholesale toss out anything created by someone you (or often other people pressuring you) deem morally wrong has a few troubling implications. Art is made by people, and people will always be flawed. So If that logic is followed to its most extreme conclusion, no art should be engaged with at all. There is no higher perfect being creating these things, and we all have our issues and blind spots.

I also dislike that people try to say art made by a disgraced artist is suddenly bad. Morality does not dictate artistic ability. I find this to be an unrealistic simplification tactic. It’s harder to parse through conflicted feelings when the work itself is still good and artistically valuable, but the artist has done horrible things.

This pressure to not be taken a certain way or accused of being morally wrong affects people who are currently creating, and I think it’s leading to blander, more sanitized art. Which is sad.

Anon 2

''how do you think army would react if any of the boys ever got caught up in a scandal like burning sun? (not to imply I think that's the case, more of a thought exercise) I'm seeing a lot of people saying that they can't believe big bang stans are still supporting senguri and that morals are more important than kpop but i would be willing to put money down that if anything similar ever came out about bts the fandom would, at least in part, stand behind them.''

Anon 3

''We really don't know the members and sometimes iam afraid of supporting them''

So, I added all these messages together because all of them touch on this main subject, which is the conflicting relationship and views we could have towards the artists we like. I definitely agree entirely with what the first anon said because art does have the ability to stand on its own and we shouldn't toss it aside, especially if it speaks to us on a personal level and also if there is artistic value to it. I have no respect for JK Rowling as well because of her transphobic comments, but the movies and the books have been part of my childhood and I still enjoy them. And when it comes to the movies, as I said in the previous ask that I answered, too many people have contributed to it, beginning with the actors, so those works do not belong only to Rowling.

But when it comes to K-Pop and idols, we have to shift the conversation a bit and we can focus on BTS here, so I can answer the other 2 anons as well. Trying to think of it in terms of separation is a bit harder in this case because many reasons why these people are liked is due to the way they expose themselves to their fans. I'm not saying we as outsiders really know them because we don't, but there is an emphasis on the public persona which comes across as very approachable. I hope I'm not misinterpreted here because I'm in no way saying they are fake, let's not reduce the entire issue to that. What I mean is that we all present ourselves in a certain way depending on situations and them as public figures even more. We don't get details about personal lives and they don't share a lot of things, but parts of their personalities are out there and that's why people like them so much. It's not just about artistry and their music. And because of that, we get tangled in this parasocial relationship which also brings out the fear that the 3rd anon has. What if something bad comes to the surface at some point and as a fan I spent so much time liking and supporting this person? Was I a fool all this time? We would feel a sense of betrayal. These are normal feelings, especially when one invests their time in this. We don't really know them and this is ok. You got to go with your instinct and make judgments based on what you are able to see. If it turns out that one of them or more are not the kind of people whom you would align morally and that's your criteria, then this is a matter of acceptance from your part and a sign to move on and stop supporting them and a sign of someone being disingenuous and that's on them. Also, we should remember that people change and evolve throughout their lives, influenced by a number of reasons that stay in the personal lane and we are not privy to that part.

And to address the possible reaction to a similar scandal like The Burning Sun, I think there will be various reactions. Fans who will defend the person from the beginning, without waiting for more information, fans who will try to understand the situation before reaching a conclusion. Then you also have those who will still support the person no matter what and those who will not. This is all a question of morals here and everyone has their own compass. You can stop supporting and liking a guy if he did something bad and still like his voice or some of his songs. But it will be harder to separate his work as an artist from him as an individual because of the reasons I stated above.

[losille2000]

The Swan, Chapter 6

TITLE: The Swan CHAPTER NUMBER: 6/? AUTHOR: Losille2000 WHICH Tom/CHARACTER: Actor!Tom GENRE: Romance/Drama FIC SUMMARY: Sequel to The Ugly Duckling. Astrid embarks on a two-week trip to London to serve as her sister’s maid of honor, hoping against all hope she might miraculously run into her Hawaiian mystery man. When her sister and soon-to-be brother-in-law drag her to a production of Hamlet to meet the groom’s best man, Astrid gets the shock of her life. The situation, though, is anything but perfect. RATING: M (sex, language) WARNINGS: None in this chapter. AUTHORS NOTES: So... what can I say? It's been a while. If you want the whole story, you can look through my blog or message me. I'm happy to answer. That said, it's been a good three years since I did any serious writing. My writing muscles need to build back up to what they were before. Please be kind... and let me know what you think. :D

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - ALSO ON AO3!

Chapter 6 - Flying the Coop

Regret.

Astrid regretted ever stomping up those stairs to Tom’s bedroom. She regretted challenging him to make a move. She regretted letting him have his way with her. In the moment, it seemed right. Maybe if they slept together again, they’d find an incompatibility, especially now that the air of tropical mystery had dissipated and left in its place two broken flesh-and-blood people.

How wrong could she have been?

Now it was amplified, deeper, hotter, engulfing.

Only two weeks for whatever this fire was to fizzle?

It wasn’t, as the Brits say, bloody likely.

And here she was, smack dab in the position she didn’t want to be in; no matter how tangentially her current association with her mother, the family business, and Hollywood was, being connected to Tom in this way presented too many problems to even consider at this point. And fucking him—

“Astrid, are you even listening to me?”

Astrid jumped from the intrusion, letting out a slight squeak. She blinked hard and turned in her spot to look at her sister, who stood in the middle of the furnished but unoccupied flat. “Sorry?”

“Are you okay?” Tilde asked. “You’ve been spacey after the dress shop— and I’m just worried.”

“You don’t need to worry.”

“Let me worry,” she begged. “Let me be the big sister I never got to be.”

Astrid laughed ruefully. If only she could actually talk with Tilde about Tom. She wouldn’t understand, or at the very least, it could pose some very difficult situations in the coming days with the wedding right around the corner. But, Astrid guessed, Tilde meant the other elephant in the room... Astrid being the elephant, and their mother being a Class A narcissist. Because there was absolutely no way Tilde would know about what had happened at Tom’s home...

“It’s too late for that, Tilde,” Astrid said. “You know I love you. I just— there’s no changing her.”

Tilde grumbled and glided over to the couch in the living room. She dropped down on top of the cushions, barely displacing the pillow stuffing with her slight ballet-formed frame. “I should have never allowed her to do all this. I should have done it on my own, it’s not like Jim and I are so hard up. But I thought...”

Astrid held up a hand to stop her sister and sat on the couch more gingerly than Tilde, measuredly, so as not to displace any stuffing in the overstuffed couch, either. Something her mother had taught her, after all: If you’re not going to put in effort to look like a lady, you can at least act like one.

God, even that memory still hurt, down to the marrow in her bones.

“But you did.” Astrid shrugged and laid her head on the back of the couch. There, she sighed.

The sisters sat in silence for some time, listening to Duchess rooting around the flat for something to chew on. When the pug found nothing, she eventually jumped up onto the couch and snuggled into Tilde’s lap.

Astrid cleared her throat. “It’s not all Mom, either. I’m just tired from jet lag and getting everything together for the house party.”

And sleeping with the Best Man. She was pretty sure she’d read a romance novel or a hundred about this situation once. Did that make her a cliché?

“Oh, I meant to ask,” Tilde interjected. “How did that go? Tom was a total tool last night and I was worried about today.”

Astrid licked her lips subconsciously; she could still taste the sugar left by a bite of tiramisu Tom had given to her on a fork. If she concentrated hard enough, she was sure she could still taste the salt of his skin mixed in with it. She could certainly feel the tight muscle in her thigh that pulled every time she shifted, from the way he’d bent it and held it firmly in place as he’d had his way with her.

Frankly, it was a miracle they’d accomplished anything after they ended up in bed. But, she supposed, that was the weirdest part about the whole afternoon. They got out of bed, dressed without speaking and just... worked on what they needed to for the party. There was no discussion. No arguing. Tom stayed a respectable distance from her; she wasn’t sure if she had really wanted him to do it again, over and over, until they were both exhausted. They ate lunch quietly, they got everything organized and packed into his Land Rover, then Tilde showed up and they bade farewell, like it was something they did every day.

Nothing more was said about Hawaii, or a relationship, or lies, or having this end in two weeks. He seemed to be ignoring the topics all together, likely in the misguided belief that if he didn’t bring it up, then everything was fine. She ignored them because discussing WHY she refused to become a true part of his life was too painful.

Astrid pursed her lips and closed her eyes again. Isn’t that what she told him she wanted, though? To feel worshipped and then go about their lives, like nothing happened? Ignore all the elephants and enjoy the sex. No emotion, only sex. He was just following her demands, his need too great to put the brakes on their interlude in his bed.

The problem was that she did want more with him. She wanted emotion and relationships and rainbows and butterflies. When she had thought of him as some wealthy businessman she might once again bump into while visiting London, this had been possible. She had, after all, imagined a reality over the last eighteen months that included falling in love with him and living a life together.

But he wasn’t a businessman. He was an actor. He ran in circles she just couldn’t stomach anymore.

“It was fine. We finished everything and packed it all into his Land Rover for the drive up to Cliveden,” Astrid finally said. “The costume deliveries will be there when we arrive.”

“This really has gotten out of control,” Tilde said. “Part of me just wants to run to the register office and get it over with.”

Astrid shook her head violently. “You do that, and I’ll flip the fuck out. I put too much work into this.”

Tilde laughed. “Scared you, huh?”

“I’m serious, Tilde,” Astrid said, lightly smacking her sister’s thigh. Duchess popped her head up, and thinking it was an invitation for her, came over to her aunt. Astrid cuddled the dog close to her chest, breathing in her freshly bathed fur.

“She likes you,” Tilde said.

Astrid kissed Duchess’ head. “Small children and dogs, apparently.”

Tilde chuckled softly before letting out a long sigh. “I bet she would really like it if her Aunt Astrid were around more.”

“Aunt Astrid is a teacher and never has any time,” she replied directly to Duchess. Duchess reached for the hand that had stopped petting her and touched it with her paw. Her imploring buggy pug eyes asked Aunt Astrid for more.

Tilde huffed, but said nothing more for a long time. Then she cleared her throat. “How do you like the flat, anyway?”

“It’s nice,” Astrid confirmed. In fact, it was nicer than “nice.” This flat looked like one of those staged ads in a real estate magazine with lots of recessed lighting, soft gray colors, top-of-the-line furnishings and a ton of space.

“We’re trying to decide if we’ll sell it or keep it as an investment property,” Tilde replied. “It’s kind of a pain in the ass as a rental property, though.”

Astrid nodded. “You could just give it to Dad’s company to manage.”

Not that doing so was a great option, either.

If Astrid saw her mother irregularly, she saw her father even less. After their separation, he spent time in Las Vegas developing a new casino concept and then, when Astrid graduated from UNLV, moved his business operations permanently back to Sweden. Still, though, the relationship with her father was better than it was with her mother, simply by virtue that he was never around and didn’t have an opportunity to find the weaknesses in her armor like her mother. Tilde rarely spoke about either parent, but Astrid was certain their relationship was similar.

Tilde sat up and turned to look at Astrid seriously. “Or you could move into it.”

“Excuse me?” Astrid said, her heart skipping a few beats, from a sudden surge of anxiety and... something else.

“I’m serious, Astrid,” she said. “We don’t see each other enough and I want to spend time with you and make up for all those years we were apart.”

This wasn’t just some passing fancy. Astrid could see that as plain as day on Tilde’s face. Her sister was determined to convince her to move to London. But for what? She had no support system other than Tilde and James... and her career... well, that was back in Las Vegas.

Not that Las Vegas itself was the most amazing place to live and work.

“I’d never see you anyway,” Astrid argued. “You’re always rehearsing, or preparing to rehearse, or performing. And god knows James is going to be busy doing whatever.”

“Yeah, about that...” Tilde said, trailing off quietly. She picked at the dog hair on her sweater for a few seconds, then slowly looked back at Astrid. “I’m retiring at the end of this season.”

“What?!”

Tilde shrugged. “James and I want a family, and if I wait until it’s a ‘good time,’ it’ll never happen because of our schedules. And really, it’s getting harder and harder to come back from injuries and such. I just... I need a long break from being a performing ballerina. I don’t have the fire I once had, the same will to fight for every goddamn role.”

Astrid simply nodded. This was huge news. Ballet was Tilde’s life. She’d been doing it since she was a little girl, had impeccable skill and training and talent for it. The joke was that Tilde had come out of the womb in pointe shoes.

Which wasn’t that far from the truth, really. As soon as their mother could, she’d gotten Tilde into dance with the best instructors money could buy. Their mother, the failed ballerina, always lived through them. Which explained why she did not like anything about Astrid— Astrid did not have anything that would benefit her.

“Have you told Mom yet?” Astrid asked.

Tilde shook her head. “Of course not! And listen to her prattle on about how I’m a failure and she gave me so much and I’m just a terrible person? No, thank you. I’ll wait until she is permanently back in LA before I tell her.”

Even though Tilde had not yet told anyone else, it somehow eased the tension in Astrid’s shoulders knowing that Tilde would be in their mother’s crosshairs for a change. Typically, that wasn’t the case; their parents always treated Tilde like the perfect golden child. Of course, Tilde had always been one of Astrid’s fiercest allies… when she could. However, since Tilde spent most of her life in London studying at the Royal Ballet from a very early age, support and camaraderie had been scarce. Now, though? Now it felt like she and Tilde could weather the storm together.

Tilde continued, “Yeah. I’m thinking about opening up a dance studio and then after the baby thing happens, if I still have the performing bug in me, then I’ll start guesting. But I’m just so excited to start having babies.”

Stopping the smile from forming on Astrid’s lips was impossible as she registered the excitement on Tilde’s face. Astrid felt the enthusiasm coming from Tilde’s corner of the couch. “I’m excited for you, Tilde.”

And she was. She truly was.

Tilde reached out and grabbed Astrid’s hand. “I’m serious, though, Astrid. We never had a great family growing up, and I see this as an opportunity to right the wrongs of the past and create the family we should have had growing up.”

“I don’t know, Til.”

“James and I have both talked about it a lot and we both agree.”

“Tilde, even if I did move here,” Astrid began, “I don’t know the first thing about teaching in England.”

Tilde nodded. “I know. But James’ parents are retired teachers. I’m sure they’d be willing to help you make heads or tails of it.”

Astrid pursed her lips and turned to stare at the dormant fireplace sitting in front of them. Duchess, who had not moved, made happy dog purr noises as Astrid massaged the tiny velvet triangles of her ears. To be fair to Tilde, Astrid had often thought of moving to London to be nearer to her, but she never thought it would happen or that Tilde would actually need or want her here. The fact that she was wanted made emotion spring to her eyes and prick at them until they watered.

But then, there was the other issue.

The really, super, ginormous issue that came in the shape of a devastatingly handsome British man she met on vacation. If she moved to London, she’d certainly be seeing him more. No clean break at the end of two weeks like she hoped.

“And, you know,” Tilde said, “London’s arts scene is stupendous. We have the hook-up. I thought you could get back into it. You can hardly do that in Las Vegas.”

Astrid snorted. “Tilde, that part of my life is over.”

“Why? You’re amazing. I remember the video you sent of your college production of Othello. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place.”

While Tilde’s appreciation for her talent warmed Astrid’s heart, it didn’t take away the sting of her mother’s actions. Astrid couldn’t even bring herself to discuss it with Tilde when it first happened, much less in the intervening eight years since the incidents that led to her total disavowal of all things acting related. Her silence on the matter, though, had finally come home to roost. First with Tilde telling Tom she was still an actor, and Tom calling her a liar because she told him she wanted nothing to do with it. And now, with Tilde staring her down imploringly. Tilde wanted answers just as much as Tom did, except for very different reasons.

Astrid could not force her suddenly leaden tongue to move in her mouth. Tilde would just have to live with not knowing the whole story, for now. Finally, she said, “If I move to London, I’m not going to be acting.”

“Well, I guess I’ll take that,” Tilde replied. “As long as you’ll still consider moving here to be with me.”

A knock at the front door startled them all, sending Duchess barking and wheezing to the door. The door opened and James popped his head inside. “Knock knock.”

“Come in!” Tilde sang back to him, jumped from her seat, and nearly leaped over the back of the couch to get to him like he was a cold glass of lemonade on a hot day. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him squarely. For a brief, possibly irrational, moment, Astrid was jealous of her sister and the relationship she had built with James.

Which wasn’t a great feeling to have if the plan was to spend more time with them. How could she uproot her entire life— leave her students and friends— and move halfway across the globe just to be consumed by the green-eyed monster?

“Babe,” Tilde said, “tell Astrid she needs to move to London.”

James laughed and turned to look at Astrid. “Astrid… you need to move to London.”

“Thank you!” Tilde pecked his cheek and pirouetted in place until she was facing away from him. She started walking back toward the bedroom. “Let me go get my purse and we can get going.”

When Tilde was gone, and the flat was mostly silent except for more of Duchess’ puggy wheezing as she calmed, James’ smile dropped into a stony seriousness. He stepped over to her and quietly murmured, “We would love to have you here, Astrid. But I understand if you don’t want to come. The decision has to be yours, and if you decide not to move, I will handle Tilde.”

Astrid was grateful for James’ level-headedness in the situation. In the short time she’d known the man, she found that he was a gifted reader of rooms. That was why he was so good with Tilde— a steady anchor in a turbulent sea. Clearly, he understood the anxiety twisting her stomach into knots.

She set a grateful hand on his arm and squeezed appreciatively. “Thanks, James.”

“And don’t let my association with Tom cloud your judgement,” James said.

Astrid withdrew her hand like he’d burned it. Her eyes snapped up to his, then focused outward on the rest of his features and body language. She didn’t know how he knew, but he did. Tom must have told James, despite that she asked him not to.

Unless Tom had told James last night…

“How do you...” She trailed off, turning her gaze and trying to hide her blush.

“He’s my best man for a reason. We tell each other everything,” James replied. “I had hoped that your work today would allow you some time to figure things out before more of this wedding commenced and caused a problem.”

Astrid gulped. “Does Tilde know?”

James shook his head silently.

“Good,” Astrid replied. Good for two reasons, really. The first, because it confirmed for her that the invitation to come to London wasn’t Tilde playing matchmaker. The second, because she still didn’t want anybody to know about it. “Wait… how much did he tell you?”

James stared back at her, a mischievous glint in his eyes and a slight curl at the corner of his mouth. “That would be breaking the Code.”

Her face now completely aflame, Astrid bent down and grabbed Duchess into her arms. She couldn’t even look at the man anymore without feeling embarrassed. Hopefully, it would pass quickly.

“Bad news!” Tilde called from the hallway as she came back into the room. Her thumbs moved rapidly over the screen of her iPhone. “Mother decided we needed an all hands on deck dinner tonight.”

Astrid groaned. “In addition to or replacing the one tomorrow night at Cliveden?”

“In addition to,” Tilde said. “Tom can’t make it tonight because he has the cast party, and Dad isn’t even in England yet, so that’ll be the official one. Tonight is probably just more nitpicking.”

“Do we have to?” Astrid whined.

Tilde sighed heavily and dropped her phone into her purse with agitation. “Strength in numbers, dear sister.”

Her sister's proclamation made the summons to dinner no better, but Astrid and James dutifully followed Tilde out of the flat and out to the car. The only saving grace was that Tom wouldn't be there. Astrid could focus on one problem, not two.