#like i'm in constant pain i have full right to complain and talk about it it's not like i'm being hella depressing or dark

[cosmicrot]

I think everyone ever who has tried to tone police, belittle, or complain about disabled and chronically ill people talking about our illnesses and pains.... should have to pay us 500 dollars for every dumbass comment they’ve ever made. 

[kirain]

I don't get people who say Gale just whines about Mystra all the time. Like do they not realize WHY? Do they not realize there's a perfectly understandable reason for it!?!

Yeah, I don't get it either. Every character "whines" about someone. Astarion whines about Cazador, especially during the second and third act. Lae'zel whines about pleasing Vlaakith, especially during the Crèche mission. Hell, she'll even betray you if you fail her persuasion checks. Shadowheart whines about Shar and snaps at you if you criticize her goddesses of darkness. Then, if you prove she's being used, she falls into a deep depression and still whines about Shar. Wyll whines about Mizora and she's a constant presence in his life, to the point that she'll park her abusive ass directly in your camp just to torment him. If you romance him, she sees everything. She watches you 👀. He has no privacy. I think Karlach might be the only companion who doesn't constantly whine about someone, but she does complain about her engine a lot.

But these aren't criticisms. They're absolutely, 100% justified. Astarion has every right to whine. Lae'zel has every right to whine. They all have every right to whine. I just want to emphasise the hypocrisy when it comes to how players judge Gale. Every character has a dark past looming over them, our chatty wizard included. If you get mad at him, it's only fair to keep the same energy for all the other companions, because they're in the exact same situation. They're trapped. They're victims. They're suffering. Of course it's going to be a major talking point, especially when there's a person/goddesses/devil responsible for that pain.

Honestly, I think the only people who get annoyed when Gale talks about Mystra are would-be romancers who get turned off when he doesn't immediately throw himself at their Tav's feet. Have you seen the somewhat viral video where a streamer drools over him, but goes full jealous mode when she sees him conjuring the image of Mystra in his palm? It's funny, but she acted like they were already a couple ... but at that point in the game Gale didn't even know she was interested! I'm certainly no expert, but isn't that how relationships work? It's pretty hard to find someone who doesn't have an ex, and he only talks about Mystra in a positive light before you express interest. He's insecure and he feels lost without her, but if you romance him it makes him realise how messed up their "relationship" was in the first place. It's a healing process, not a competition. He never compares you to Mystra in any way other than to say that you're better, and that's only if you ask.

Gale is also arguably the most romantic character out of the bunch, so I don't know why people get so upset. Mystra, much like Shar, Cazador, Mizora, etc., is a constant negative in Gale's life and the reason he's dying. She could remove the orb with ease but she won't, so of course he's going to "whine" about her. He feels guilty at first, then he feels used and angry, and by the end you can either convince him to become her Chosen again (which is entirely on you, though you remain his priority) or you can convince him to reject Mystra and leave the crown in the sea. The orb remains lodged in his chest, because Mystra's too petty to remove it, but it becomes completely inert. Either way, he's happy and he devotes himself entirely to you, not Mystra.

[strawberryblue-blog]

She's mine too —Mason Mount.

summary: annoying days of pregnancy with mason

warning: none. pregnancy, vomiting, discomfort.

words count: +1.5k

#SEXYNOTE: Merry belated Christmas and early happy new year y'all 💌 thanks for the support, i hope you are well. love youuuu 🩵

You hugged the toilet after spitting up all the dinner of the night between sobs, you sighed taking a big breath of air, feeling your stomach churning again. It was the fifth time you had gotten up to vomit in the night and you were really exhausted. For at least a week you had been feeling this way but in the last two days, it had gotten worse and you couldn't even feed yourself properly as you ended up vomiting.

Did your son or daughter hate you? It was practically thanks to you that he or she was coming into this world, and this is how he or she thanked you? By making you spit out everything you ate? By making you feel so fragile and silly at the same time? You wanted to stay cheerful, positive and full of energy but your baby was slowly consuming you. This was nothing like what you used to hear about pregnancies.

You had never been through anything before and it really scared you. The doctor had said it was normal as long as you had constant checkups and you just had to put up with it, even though it was very hard for you and especially for Mason. Sometimes he felt that what he was doing for you wasn't enough and he hated to see you suffer but it wasn't his fault and it would pass. You sighed whimpering a little, anyone would say you were exaggerating a little (and maybe you were) but you were really suffering. Since four months ago your body had changed, your fears had become constant, dizziness, mood swings, tiredness, breast pain, you had even become irritable. Sometimes you felt guilty but it was inevitable, the baby was running your life (Not really).

But you had no regrets.

Being a mother had been one of your dreams growing up, you used to say you wanted to be like your mother and you really hoped you would be for this child. You were discovering this whole new world and you have to admit you thought it would be something else, at least you had a great man by your side. Mason used to make your endless days, the best experience of your life. He would massage your feet, fulfill your every whim, pamper you and take care of you like you were a princess.

You couldn't complain, you were perfect together and starting a family with him was another one of your biggest dreams. Because you loved everything about him, about the relationship, the respect and love you had. Because you admired how strong and respectable he was and how he behaved with you, your family and friends. Because you were in love with him and that your son had him for a father, it was the biggest pride you could feel.

A hand on your back caressed you, pulling your hair back into a makeshift bun. Mason held your hair and calmed your nerves as he appeared behind you. You hated waking him up in the middle of the night with your retching, especially since you knew he'd have to get up early in the morning but Mason was always with you.

"Don't tease me like that" you laughed exhaustedly after a while. "That's the reason i'm here, puking up everything i ingest."

Mason hid a chuckle behind his smile, trying not to laugh at your funny comment because of the situation you were going through. But it was inevitable, even in misery you were saying funny things to him.

"You suggested doing it, honey. If you had stuck it out, we wouldn't be here," he replied, earning a pout from you.

And it was true. Maybe if they hadn't had too many drinks that night and you hadn't been so horny, nothing would have changed and you wouldn't have found yourself right now. But you wanted this as much as he did, because you were talking about this and about the future, and this was the future, you becoming parents.

After a while without nausea, Mason took you in his arms, slowly carrying you toward the bed. He handed you a glass of water and when you drank some, he helped you lie down on the soft sheets, arranging the pillows on your back to make you comfortable.

"I must look terrible" you whispered a little shaken. Your cheeks were red, your forehead sweaty and you sure looked gross right now. Mason quickly denied.

"You are the most beautiful woman in the world" he murmured with his eyes sparkling. "You'll bring our child, you could never look terrible" his fingers caressed your face. A smile appeared on your lips as he kissed your forehead softly.

He took his place beside you, resting his head on your belly as he wrapped his arms around you. One of his hands caressed the protruding bump, which was growing bigger and bigger every day. You didn't know the sex of the baby yet but everything was within the norm for a pregnancy, something you were grateful for, and they were supposed to have news about the baby by the next visit.

"Baby, leave mommy alone for a while, okay? She's mine too" he whispered towards her son or daughter, drawing a smile from you. Your fingers tangled in her hair, stroking her chestnut locks. Your chest overflowed with feelings seeing him there and your heart filled with happiness at the image.

Mason on top of his baby, caressing your skin with his warm fingers, his eyes shining in his wonderful gaze. The reason for your happiness in front of you, your whole world. Your eyes filled with tears and you try not to cry but you were sensitive, everything hit you double, more when it was about your son and your boyfriend.

You were both terrified, you weren't going to lie, but since the test had come back positive and after a few months of waiting, you were ready for what was to come. You had learned to love each other, you had each other, you trusted each other and you were walking on the same side. Everything had been easier, since you knew Mason, you were always supporting and loving each other.

"The boys want it to be a boy to teach him to play football but honestly i want it to be a girl" Mason whispered turning back to your chest, still her hand held on the baby, caressing it.

"Is that what you want?" you asked with a giggle. Mason nodded. "Even Summer would take care of her and teach her" you mentioned and your heart fluttered with love as you imagined your boyfriend's niece with your daughter or son.

Mason smiled hugely.

"I want a boy too, of course. But we'll have time to bring him along after the baby girl" he joked with a grimace. You laughed out loud.

You were excited for the arrival of their son or daughter, they were counting the days since they had found out and memories were piling up in their memories of this special time. The wait was going to be hard but it would definitely be worth it when you had him or her with you.

[romanarose]

For the Longest Time: Chloe's birth

Will Miller x fem!OC (Lorelei Giang)

Summary: Lorelei gives birth to their daughter

Warnings: Childbirth, typical Lore and WIll back and forth

Series MAsterlist (series is completed, will comtinue soon with Ben's story.)

Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist :Playlist

*************

She was going to fucking kill him.

Lorelei had told Will over and over again, she wasn't going to really need him for much with the birth. She'd assisted in hundreds of births, she knew the drill. She was going be fine. Everything was normal in her pregnancy, absolutely no cause for concern, and her epidural had kicked in. Her mom, of course, had words to say about getting an epidural but she didn't give a shit. Mirical of childbirth, the pain is worth it, natural, all that is fine and dandy if you're into it, but Lorelei just wanted her dughter here and painlessly as possible. It seemed Chloe Sen was not an axious to come, however, and took and extra 4 days past her due dare to cook to the perfect medium rare, Lorelei supossed.

Lorelei had been confined to paperwork by this point, her swollen ankles having caused issues the last month and now... well Frankly she was waddling. So, desk work and intake it was.

When her water finally broke, she was at work and called Will.

"Hey princess, everything okay?" Will answered, his mouth full of food. She heard Santi in the background, which explained the food; Laci was always feeding them.

"Yeah I'm fine, just my water broke."

"WHat?!"

"Yeah I'm going into labor, I need you to get my bag-"

"IM COMING RIGHT OVER"

She sighed, listening to him tell Laci and Santi it was time, and hearing Laci squeel in the background. "No, William, baby I'm fine but I need my to go bag-"

"I'll have Santi get it, I'm picking you up we have to go to a hospital!"

"William."

"Yeah?"

"I'm at work."

"I know, that's why I'm coming to get you-"

"Baby I work in a hospital."

She had Will run home seeing as he was a 5 minute drive from their house anyway, then get to the hospital where now they sat, contractions speeding up. Will was hovering and it was driving her nuts. His role was to put on her playlist: Buddy Holly, Ella Fitzgarald, the Shrangri-la's, Humphrey Englebert, all her favorites, and advocate for her that the birth plan was being followed. Other than that, she was certain she'd be fine.

Still, the constant talking, petting her, cooing at her like a baby and telling her how good she's doing was driving up insane.

"Breath in."

"Will"

"Breath out."

"William, I will start screaming."

"Well, at least scream when I say out."

That got a laugh out of her, she'd admit. But she still turned to him. "If you don't stop telling me what to do, I swear to god I will have you removed from this room."

She wouldn't do that to actually, and he knew that, but Will raised his hands, chuckling in defense. "Fine, fine. Just promise to breath."

Two hours later she was breathing alright. She was breathing as she screamed curses at him. "I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ARE NEVER FUCKING ME AGAIN! FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Why did she had to get knocked up by a fucking norse god? Kid's head was ripping her open. Jesus, why didn't she get an elective c-section. So many poor choices.

"I know Lorelei, I'm the worse. Tell me all about it." His even voice was something to latch onto through the pain. What the fuck was this without an epidural?

"YOU AND YOUR STUPID MASSIVE GENES!"

"Yes yes, definetly my fault. What else."

"YOUR SO FUCKING POLITE!"

"Women do complain about that aspect frequently. I'm working on it."

"I AM GOING TO CUT OFF YOUR DICK!"

There was a pause as she pushed, the head crowning.

"Princess?"

"WHAT?!?!?!?!"

His fingers grazed her knuckles, and she realized her nails were digging into her palms. She turned to him, looking at his handsome, beautiful face and soft blue eyes. God she got lucky to find someone who knows when to match her crazy and when to calm it. Imagine if she'd getting pregnant by Tyler? He'd probably be watching porn on his phone like she caught one baby daddy doing. "Can I hold your hand?"

Lorelei's lip quivered as she nodded. Will took her hand in his, squeezing for dear life as a big contraction hit. She liked hearing his voice praising her. She needed him, and always would, and for some reason that didn't scare her.

*

She was perfect. Born at an insane 9 pounds even, Chloe Sen Miller was the cutest little thing Lorelei had ever seen in her life. Lore and Will were squeezed onto the bed together, Will holding the baby after Lorelei had gotten her share. She laid her head on his shoulder, ready to nap. He had this. She trusted him.

"She's so small..." He murders, mesmerized by his daughter. Lorelei laughs.

"yeah to you. You didn't have to push her out."

Will turned to her at that, smiling fondly. "You were incredible."

"I know." She kissed his arm. "But thank you."

"I'll tell them to go home. I know they just wanna make sure you're okay, they aren't expecting to come in."

But Lorelei shook her head. "Bring them in." Then added. "Just a few minutes."

Soon, the room was filled with the people Lorelei had come to see as her family. Jana and Laci with matching baby bumps, both only a few months behind her. Laci clinged to Santi's hand, everyone allowing her the one chair in the room while Frankie tried to get another one for Jana, but Jana insisted she was fine. Laci was looking thinner than usual. The couple had to cut their honeymoon short when health problems arose, Laci dropping weight and experiencing complications. Her struggles clearly weighed on Santi, who looked tired but held his wife's hand tightly. She knew what they were thinking, worrying this moment might not come for them. Laci was on bedrest, only able to go easy places like coming here. Still, both smiled at the newst addition to their family's arival.

"She's so cute, Lorelei." Laci says in a soft voice, eyes wet.

Santi hugged Will, telling him so happy for them.

Frankie brought Rosie close to the bed, telling her to be careful as she looked at her first cousin. "You gotta be nice, babygirl. None of that rugrats Angelica nonsense."

"Hey!" Lorelei protested. "I loved Angelica!"

Jana told her that wasn't surprising.

Lorelei turned to Rosie. "In a few weeks, you can even hold her, okay? Get practice for being a baby sister."

Rosie beamed. "Did you know my mommy's having a baby?"

"Whaaaat! No way!"

Jana sees Ben lurking quietly behind them all, and pulls Rosie back.

Ben, Like Laci and Santi, looked thinner. His eyes had dark circles and his skin lost it's golden tone. No summer highlghts in his hair as usual. Will watched his brother, barely recognizable, and certainly not himself. Cameron arrived in 2 weeks, and Ben still didn't know.

"Benny? Do you wanna hold you niece?"

Despite barely being there, Ben nodded, looking with wonder at the bundle in his brothers arms raising up to him. Will watched Ben held her for the first time, taking him into his gentle care, the way he knew from years of holding Rosie, of helping take care of her when things were bad and Frankie was coked out... Ben's eyes filled with tears as he said hi to her.

"Chloe Sen, meet uncle Benny"

***

We gotta give Benny something to fight for <3 A reason to get better, to know he deserves better than Alice. Like Dolli said, he loves rosie ofc, but seeing his own blood, his brothers kid... has to give him something.

This came from a scene in my head I thought it'd be funy if lore is a work and were water breaks and Will is freaking out and shes like baby im fine im literally at a hospital rn

It is SO VERY Lorelei to think she can handle everything... but Will is there because even if she CAN doesn't mean she SHOULD. He's gonna take care of his girl (now girls)<3

@pimosworld @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @missdictatorme @poeedameronn @itspdameronthings @miraclesabound @babymills16 @rayslittlekitten @kirsteng42

[whataboutsimple]

The Defender AU

Ah, well, since you @murkystarlight @abugshapedeldritchbeing @sillysnaildraws asked so nicely, I'm gonna ramble about it a bit<3

The storyline stars a little bit before Romeo went power hungry, leaving some place fore characters to develop themselves.

At the very beginning Fred was planing to create some kind of a "weapon" in case something will happen, which Admins won't be able to handle on their own. So, what would be more efficient to create, than a human who holds absolute of admin powers?

Around this time he started to play with different mechanics of creating mobs, trying to find the closest to a human being. Deciding to stop on a Wither Skeleton, he have chosen to base the powers of Wither itself.

So, like that, he created a human form with a Nether Star as a heart and source of powers. Giving a piece of his own code, he manage to create something as close as possible to Admin's powers, making the star unnaturally bright blue.

Due to Binta being the closest human to him, he made the prototype looking a bit like her, with the very same appearance factors.

That's how "Protocol: defend" was brought in the world.

Since it was his first ever human like creation, he didn't manage to create him as a full adult, instead spawning someone between a child and a teen.

When Binta discovered this, she quickly almost adopted poor thing, playing the role of older sister and naming him Gabriel.

"But why Gabriel?"

"I don't know, it's suits him."

So, like that, our Warroir had two parts of his life: learning to be a weapon and learning to be a human.

The first one was handled by Fred, who taught him how to code things, spawn features, use effects and ect., but he noticed one small strange detail: meanwhile Gabriel could spawn block in a small amount without a problems, he managed to create.. let's say, bright blue figures with different shapes: circles, triangles, cubes. It looked almost like ice, but without e texture, completely blue, leaving a small amount of light around it and discarding every physical law that existed. It was unnaturally durable, almost like bedrock, even Fred couldn't destroy it with Admin's powers from the first try. And it also did lots of damage, even Gabriel wanted it too. He could've pierce mob with a spike and not deal any damage, or kill it altogether.

The second option was handled be Binta: she taught him how to speak properly, read, count. Though she quickly discovered, that unlike other kids, he was an incredible fast learner and it didn't took him too long to become smarter than she is in some disciplines. That's when she decided instead teach him some human emotions, like kindness, compassion, mercy. They spent a lot of time together gathering supplies, playing with animals, talking to people. Waffles, the chicken, was adopted by Gabriel.

But no matter how hard she tried, he couldn't feel a full spectrum of human emotions. He was Always emotionless, giving a smile only after analyzing everyone else is smiling, becoming sad only after analyzing that she is sad, not having any hunger, not complaining about any pain even though he could feel it, he could bleed.

So, few years before the fight between Admins, Fred learnt how to switch mods. The main problem of Gabriel's behavior was the fact that he was created to protect, to defend. He was supposed to be fearless, emotionless, go till the very end. Like that, Fred created a "Protocol: defend" mode, that was activating by these very words. When the mode was turned was, his brains were losing connection to his power, basically deleting the constant idea of defend, leaving it empty to fill with actual emotions.

That's how Gabriel, we all know, was created.

The day when Romeo killed Fred, during another calibration settings, Romeo actually interrupted him, which lead to incidental memory deletion. Right before Romeo got his hands on Gabriel, Fred managed to teleport him away.

That's how Old Order found him. Clueless young man with amnesia, but excellent fighting skills and knowledge.

Gabriel was always abnormally string and tough, dealing with damage most people would've already die from, being too elastic, fast, with incredible reaction speed. But it only helped them, didn't it?

—

Bonus facts:

Xara didn't know about Gabriel either, because Fred didn't know who to trust.

He still left message for her in the last few days before death.

To activate Gabriel's both powers and memory back, you need to say "Protocol: defend."

It'll actually be harder for the gang to stop Romeo, since they will need to find Gabriel first.

Romeo doesn't know, that Gabriel actually is a weapon. He thought he's one of Fred's people.

C. Block was very negative towards Gabriel, sending electroshocks each time he tried to touch it.

His blood in activated mode is blue, while it's blue-red when he's badly injured.

He sees Binta as his older sister, meanwhile Fred is more of a mentor, than a father.

I think that's all for now, a other silly AU for y'all:P

[no-passaran]

It annoys me very much how every so often again all the popular leftist blogs on this site regurgitate the same "we should not make space for feminism in leftist spaces" discourse. Usually it's some post saying that feminism is bourgeois, that it's a distraction from class analysis, that it promotes capitalism, or that it's simply unimportant because the elimination of social class will eliminate any problem that might exist related to gender. Today, the post I've seen was making fun of a hypothetical woman who gives money to NGOs working for women's economic development, and contraposing it to a hypothetical "male organizer who doesn't know what feminism or a pronoun is" because his work in labour rights for "all workers" has improved the lives of women, followed by a long tirade against liberal feminism refusing to mention that most feminism isn't like that. Sure, good job for the male organizer, but if he's refusing to understand how gender interacts with labour issues, his work will always fall short and find problems. Class, gender, race/ethnicity, migration status, being trans, and other elements are deeply interconnected, and working class women have specific needs that also need to be taken into account. And I don't even want to imagine what he must treat his female comrades like if he cares that little. Actually, I don't need to imagine because I've been seeing it for years.

Every time I see these posts it makes me loose my respect for the poster, because it shows that they don't know what they're talking about and that their leftism will be a self-centred "making things good for me and not looking at how my behaviour impacts and harms others, plus I still want a servant at home who works for me without getting paid", but also this is the reason many women quit leftist activism. Not only our needs for everyday life are ignored and called unimportant, but women in many leftist spaces often get treated like secretaries who should be silent and obedient, and humiliated when we bring up problems that we face.

None of these are problems unique to the left, this happens because the left is part of society, and society is patriarchal. But it's a leftism problem because many men in the left use specifically leftist-sounding wording to humiliate women and force them into submission, and it's also a leftism problem because so many girls and women who do so much work in our organizations have to end up leaving because their necessities aren't met and because the organisation keeps proving that it doesn't care about putting them in danger, excuses the behaviour of our male comrades who humiliate, sexually harass, and sometimes even rape their female comrades. I've seen all of this happen for years in offline activism, it's a well-known (and constant) problem for most girls and women who are organized. And it's annoying and painful to see this harmful and sexist behaviour be promoted in the name of "haha aren't women stupid complaining about things that affect over half of the human population every single day, that makes them the same as a capitalist" like ????? Do you think before you post????

Please, I'm begging everyone to read the article "Why misogynists make great informants: how gender violence on the left enables state violence in radical movements" by Courtney Desiree Morris. Read it paying full attention to it, and rethink how you behave and what you allow in your organisations.

[miss-starlet]

I cant help but ask for fem Felix punishment headcanons.. I’m so curious..

hope you’re having a good day btw! 🩷

♡Fem! Felix Punishment Headcanons♡

Aaa my first request! I'm so excited! I had way too much fun with one lol. I hope you are having a good day too cutie! 😊💕

Warnings: Mean Fem!Felix, punishments (hitting/slapping), edging, degradation

Word count: 500+

18+MDNI

♡ As I said in my mommy kink post, I definitely think it takes a lot to push Fem! Felix to the point of punishing you. Even if you ask her to punish you she still kinda hesitant.

♡ Fem! Felix is mean when you finally do push her to her breaking point.

♡ She will talk down to you, and tease you with her dirty words. She knows that she can get you wet easily with what she say.

"You like it when I stuff you full and deep? Of course you do baby. You nothing but a slut for this strap." She nods to herself "Yeah, nothing but my dirty little slut."

♡ Will alternating between giving you pleasure and pain. Whether that be sucking your clit to then pinching it to kissing your cheek before hitting it; she loves it. The way it causes you to moan and whine and shudder for her.

♡ I feel like she would take your orgasms away if you had been way too bratty.

♡ Would definitely be the type to say this hurt me more than it hurts you when she edges you (& definitely believes it 100%)

♡ When you are finally too stupid to do anything other than follow everything she says, and be her obedient baby again, she will finally let you come

~♡~

Throughout the entire day, all you've done is whine and complain about everything and anything. Fem!Felix had reached her breaking point, longing for a peaceful day off with you, but your constant griping was wearing on her.

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed your arm, and lead you forcefully into the bedroom.

"All day you have been nothing more than a little brat, and i won't tolerate it anymore."

"I haven't done anything." You said quite bratty. She brought her hand down to smack you, causing you to let out a small gasp.

"What was that?" Fem! Felix taunted, as she grabbed your chin to make you look at her. She placed kisses all over the area she hit, before pushing you down on the bed.

She pushed your skirt up and almost ripped your panties taking them off. Tiny hands coming up to push you legs apart, so she can dive right into your cunt. She licked and sucked at your clit. Your back arched, only being able to moan and whine her name.

She slapped your thigh hard making a cry leave your lips. She rubbed at skin she just slapped, smoothing the sting. "Poor baby, did that hurt?" She asked before bring her hand down harder.

"It hurts!" You whine out, panting. She just cooed and pinched your clit causing a pained moan slip from your parted lips. She kisses your thigh, before going back to sucking at your clit, with her hands making their way deep inside you.

Loudly you sob out, eyes closing shut. The mix of pain and pleasure was too much to handle. She pulls away from you. You open your eyes to see the sight of Fem!Felix smirking right up at you.

"Aw baby, did you think I was done with you?" She plants a kiss on your thigh before biting the spot.

"We have all night to make sure you turn back to my good little baby."

[try-and-try-and-try-again]

It sounds like you're going through a lot right now. I don't mean for this to sound rude but literally, what did you expect a psych ward to be like? Did you not do any reading or research into them before begging to be sent to one? It seems odd because you were so desperate to go and now that you're there you're complaining about it all. Acute psych wards are known to be really difficult places to be. They are not like ED treatment centres that, in comparison, are compassionate & try to tailor treatment to the needs of patients. I'm wondering what the purpose of your admission to the ward is. Respite? Treatment? It sounds a bit like you're not sure either. Perhaps this is something to figure out, then communicate to staff and advocate for yourself. If not you're going to get progressively worse as psych wards on their own are mostly about keeping people alive and keeping people from harming themselves and others. They are rarely about treatment (unless you advocate for this).

I don’t really know what I was expecting to be honest. I tried to do research about psych wards in this country but what I found was very limited. I knew it would be tough as it would be full of distressed people and the NHS is on its knees but I at least hoped there would be more of a treatment plan by now.

Maybe I shouldn’t be here. I don’t know. I read this message last night, then I broke down and went to tell the staff I wanted to discharge myself. Two patients asked what I was doing and then spent an hour trying to calm me down and talk me down from doing it so I haven’t. I also told my parents I wanted to self discharge and they said they wouldn’t take me back in this state so I don’t even know what I’d do if I did. Now I don’t know what to do.

I guess the purpose of this admission was respite for my family who were struggling to look after me and both the ED service and crisis team said I needed the admission so I went along for it. They said I’d be able to get my meds reviewed and changed and be monitored while I changed over but no such thing has been happening (it’s been weirdly hard trying to get a meds review in the community). I guess I also wanted an escape from reality. I’m exhausted and burnt out and hopeless. I’ve spent every day thinking about how to end my life. Sometimes I’ve acted, other times I’ve been overwhelmed by my huge fear of pain and ended up feeling angry, trapped by myself and like a horrible coward.

I’m sorry if I’ve been coming across as whiny and ungrateful for care in my posts. I’ve just been in need of a space to vent.

I just want to say I don’t know what EDUs you have been in but I have never in my experience found them to be compassionate. Nor have they ever tried to tailor things to my needs. Every time I was in one and expressed that I was not ok with the one-size-fits-all treatment regime they subjected me to the response was that I was being pathetic and I was sectioned so I would had no choice but to go along with it. (Having said that, some people did seem to get personalised treatment plans - their own meal plans and target BMIs, actual individual therapy, I don’t know how. I was sickeningly jealous of them). Those places were just as hellish as this one - alarms and all, or if not more so because of the constant threat of force feeding, lack of autonomy over my body, constant comparison with other patients etc. Just at least those places had weekly ward rounds so you knew what was happening, assigned you a key worker so you knew who to go to (even if they weren’t always in or were busy), and the timing of meds, obs and weighing were consistent.

[evelxtus]

I'm inlove with all your content! It's so cute and I cannot get enough. So I made an account to make a request!! What about a Vampire!Scaramouche x Fem!Reader smut? ;;; Only if you want to though! Now have a amazing day! >:D

Vampire!Scaramouche x Fem!Reader Smut.

Warnings: NSFW, Vulgar language, blood mention, fingering, vaginal penetration. Minors DNI.

Words: 1675.

Note: Thank you for your words. <3 I hope you like this as well, I'm not used to writing smut, but I tried my best. Thank you again for requesting. 😫💕

"Hello, is anyone home?" you asked lazily after knocking a few times on the wooden door. "Scaramouche... Tsk, what an idiot. Always believing himself to be the important one. He doesn't even open the door for me for being a simple huma-" You ranted about him as you turned on your heel, only to see the boy from whom you so kindly you spoke.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" even though this boy was more or less your height, a glance from him was enough to make your blood run cold. "Repeat it... I haven't heard you right." he insisted as he took a few threatening steps towards you.

The closer he got, the more you tried to get away. But you couldn't go very far: your back was already against the door.

"Apparently you are now dumb too. I asked you something, answer."

"I-I think you misunderstood. I wasn't talking about you." a nervous laugh left your lips, while your trembling hands felt the wood behind you. The boy laughed.

"As if there are many Scaramouches in the damn town. Are you an idiot? Or worse, do you think I'm an idiot?"

You shook your head quickly. You opened your mouth to apologize, but he stepped forward to speak again.

"Anyway, what are you doing here today? Well, it doesn't matter. Let me feed a little of you, okay?" the boy closed the distance that separated you quickly, with the aim of biting the skin of your neck as soon as possible, but your voice cut him off.

"No, wait!" The vampire rolled his eyes and moved a few inches apart to glance at you.

"Now what?"

"I came here... so you could turn me into a vampire..." the boy blinked several times, dumbfounded.

"WHAT" he spoke his words giving voice to his unpleasant surprise. "Na-ah. No. No way. My most reliable blood supply would be ruined if you convert."

You shrugged, to tell him that's the point.

"Let me taste you one more time, and I'll think about it. I'm particularly hungry and pissed off today." You didn't resist. Well, it would be the last time he would bite you, wouldn't it?

He pushed your hair back to reach your neck more easily, and you closed your eyes. You were already used to the pain from that boy's bites, which weren't very gentle. You felt how desperately he was sucking your blood, but something was wrong. This time he wouldn't stop, and his body was especially hot against yours despite always being ice cold.

You let out a tiny moan of pain as you tried to pull away.

"A-already... enough already." you complained. The boy finally stopped, not before running a finger over your wound.

He soaked his finger in your blood and showed it to you, without leaving your side. "Are you... are you going to deprive me of this... just because of a whim of yours?"

The words did not come out of your body. God, he was so close. Very, very close.

"Let me show you your taste. And reconsider your request." He licked his finger with your blood, even though it dripped down to the corner of his lips. With a brusque movement he put your lips together in an unexpected kiss.

He took his chance to introduce his tongue in your mouth, and thus feel yours. You felt the metallic taste of your own blood, just like the boy wanted.

He pulled away for a moment to breathe, and at the same time reached for his doorknob to open it. When he did it, you both fell on the floor inside the house causing a crash.

"Oww..." you put a hand on your head, a little dizzy. You came to yourself when you heard Scaramouche —who was in a pretty compromised position on you, he had his crotch on your thigh. And so you realized that he had an erection. "But what the hell are you doing?"

Your face was completely red, and Scaramouche was also quite flushed.

"I didn't think you were going to open the door!" you cleared up as you moved your leg up a bit, making it press against his cock over the fabric of his pants. A sigh left his lips, your eyes widened in surprise.

You moved your leg again.

"Fuck, stop it." the boy snorted, finally sitting up a bit to close the door. When he finished, he got on you again, this time you were the one who was at a disadvantage, because his knee was between your crotch.

Your heart raced even faster than before, knowing what might come next.

"Let's see who gets the last laugh, smartass." he put his knee right between your legs, lifting the pleats of your skirt.

This meant that the only thing separating your helpless throbbing entrance from him were your panties.

"You know what? Fuck it. I don't have the patience for this." After this hasty statement by the boy, you felt how the fabric of your panties was pulled aside, and the tips of the vampire's fingers began to touch your vaginal lips.

"A-ah... Scara-"

You were so embarrassed... Just with the kiss you had already gotten wet.

Well, imagine how he felt when he noticed how quickly you had caused his erection.

"Be quiet, little lamb..." he whispered. The boy bit his lower lip with a slight frown, tucking in two of his fingers suddenly. A gasping moan came from your throat.

"This is what happens when you try to laugh at me."

"Sorry, I-I won't do it anymore. Mmhh... ah... p-please..." your back arched at the constant movement of his fingers into the warmth of you.

"Please what? Are you begging me for more? You WILL have more."

His eyes looking down at you... made you have to look elsewhere. The boy really enjoyed seeing you embarrassed.

"No. Look at me. I'm the one who is giving you pleasure. What less than looking into my eyes while I do it."

His fingers would part when he reached deep inside you, like scissors. He pulled them out and showed you his fingers, which were joined by your fluids.

"Look at me." He ordered you. Without separating your eyes from his, he licked his fingers with your fluid.

"P-p-please..." you begged again, closing your eyes. Your breathing was so irregular... you couldn't even think clearly. Only the word "please" came out of your mouth continuously, afraid of asking for more, no matter how much you wanted it.

"Shhh..." the boy leaned on putting one of his hands on the side of your head, and with the other he lowered his pants and boxers, exposing his hard cock. "Your weakness... makes me so horny. You have no idea." his murmur made you open your eyes, knowing what would come next. "Are you ready? You better be." he warned you while he was taking his cock with one hand, which he started to move up and down a couple of times, that it was already lubricated with the precum that had already started to flow while he was masturbating.

You didn't say anything, you knew that your voice would come out shaky and it would only serve to make his expression and his words towards you become more mocking. You just spread your legs more for him.

"My little lamb giving herself all to me... I love it." He positioned the tip of his cock at your entrance and flexed his arm to reach your neck.

With his other hand he was holding your thigh, with enough force to leave small marks on your skin that disappeared within seconds.

Finally, with one swift movement, his full length had entered you. From a simple hip swing. His fingers made more pressure on his leg and a growl made you understand that he was feeling as much pleasure as you.

"Mhh... Oh fuck. I needed this..." he admitted. His slender fingers went up your thigh, lifting your skirt even more until it was over your abdomen, and thus having in plain sight how his cock entered your sex.

His movements were slow, but every time he entered you he did it with force, completely feeling your entire vaginal wall against his cock, enjoying each thrust as he had never done.

Gasps and sighs came from him, and his warm breath hit the skin of your collarbone and shoulder. You were trying hard not to be too loud, digging your nails into the boy's arm, but he didn't seem to complain.

You were both blinded by pleasure and the simple fact of feeling so close.

The boy stopped holding your leg to run his hand over your breasts, over your shirt, rubbing them and passing his fingers over them, he just wanted to stimulate you more anyway.

His hips movements became faster as he began to feel that he would reach the climax soon.

"S-shit, I'm going to come now." He said against your shoulder.

"M-me too... Ahhh... do it ..." you whimpered. You felt your legs trembling, announcing that you would soon reach orgasm.

The boy couldn't take it anymore. He bit your shoulder, without sinking his fangs and let out a celestial moan, while in one last thrust the warm fluid from him came out of his cock, filling you whole inside.

At the same time, the greatest pleasure also came to you, an explosion of emotions held for so long finally came out.

"Oh my god... oh my..." your chest rose and fell with difficulty, as did the boy's.

Managing to calm his breathing a bit, the boy brought his mouth close to your ear, with a sly smile.

"Now turn around."

Yeah... he wasn't done with his cute little lamb yet.

[sorryimananti-romantic]

Mist | Choi San | Chapter 1

Pairing: Choi San x OC (Seohyun)

Genre: supernatural (ghost), romance, high school

Trigger Warnings: paranormal, death mentions, violence

Words: 7.2k

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my original character and the story. I do not own any gifs or pictures used.

Full story on Wattpad (don’t spoil here if you read there too)

chapter directory

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Seohyun kicked a pebble with her boot, sending it flying in the air. The black cat following Seohyun meowed as it wandered between her legs, rubbing itself along her naked legs. Seohyun kicked another pebble, and the cat meowed louder.

"I know, I know," she said, sighing, "I shouldn't have helped him."

The cat's grey eyes twinkled and it jumped a little to keep pace with Seohyun. She adjusted her sunglasses with the tip of her finger and tucked her long hair behind her ears, keeping her eyes fixed to the ground in hopes of finding more pebbles that she could kick.

Seohyun's hands went to the straps of her school bag on her shoulders as she finally found one, and she smirked. "Hey kitty, I'm gonna kick this one real hard."

As if the cat understood, it sat near her to watch the scene. Seohyun aimed her foot, sending the pebble flying with full force as a short laugh escaped her. She waited for the satisfying sound of the pebble hitting something hard, but a wail of pain answered her instead.

"Oops," Seohyun grimaced as she motioned the cat to follow her, trying to flee before she was caught. However, luck was rarely on her side.

"It was you, right?" She heard a boyish voice call out. She sneaked a peek, seeing a group of colourful heads belonging to boys that grew larger and larger as more joined them.

"I thought I hit one? Why are there so many..." she muttered, then turned back, bowing her head in a quick apology and turning again to run away, almost tripping on the cat and it howled in pain before following her.

"Hey, stop!" She heard voices, and she just sped up. She had enough to worry about.

"Where are my ghost friends when I need them.." Seohyun muttered under her breath as she sped up, cursing mentally. She could hear steps draw closer by every second, and she finally turned abruptly, making the group of boys stop dead in their tracks, bumping at each other.

"I apologized, what do you all want now?"

"You never apologized," the blue haired one said.

"Why do you think I bowed? To thank you?" Seohyun retorted. The blonde snickered, earning a kick in his ribs from not one but two of them.

"We couldn't see from so far, at least apologize properly!"

"Alright, alright. Was it you who got hit?"

"No, it was-"

Seohyun sighed out loud. "What got you so worked up then, if it wasn't even you?"

"He's my friend?" The blue haired boy said, making it sound more like a question.

"I told you all not to make a fuss, it's not like she did it on purpose," Seohyun heard one of them say, and her eyes shifted towards the boy with black hair, the eyebrow slit further defining his sharp features. Indeed, he was hurt. There was a painful scratch where the pebble must have grazed his cheekbone.

"Ah, so it was you..." Seohyun bit her lip. She thought she should apologize properly, so she bowed properly this time, and got up. "I never meant to hurt anyone. I'm sorry."

His eyes burned holes in her even though she wore sunglasses. He pursed his lips, nodding. "It's okay, just be careful next time."

She nodded. "Can I go now?" She didn't wait for an answer and turned, motioning the cat to come along, who meowed.

"Wait!" The eyebrow-slit boy sat down on one knee, motioning the cat to come to him, who gladly obliged and Seohyun rolled her eyes. He smiled at the cat, rubbing its head and offering it a biscuit, which the cat graciously accepted, munching right into it.

"Do you even give your cat food? It's so thin."

"It's not mine," Seohyun said and the boy's head turned up to look at her, curiosity in his eyes obvious. "It followed you rather gladly."

Seohyun just shrugged, looking away from his gaze and observing the group now. They were all dressed in school uniform like her, but it looked like it was a different school. She internally smiled at the interesting mix that stood in front of her.

"San, let's go," she heard the red-head call out. San, she thought.

"I need to go now too." Seohyun said, waiting for the boy to stop playing with the cat.

The boy- San- got up and said, "You said it's not yours. Can I take it then?"

Seohyun almost said yes, but hesitated. It was true the cat was not hers, but at this point, she could call it hers, the way it always followed her around whenever she was out. She had rather grown attached to the constant presence of her black furry friend.

"Uhh, I mean you could, but..." she bit her lip as she looked back as if for help, and then turned back to the boy. "This cat is my only friend."

Seohyun hated how it had almost come as a whisper, but the boy looked like he understood as he nodded, taking a step back. "I'll see you around then," he smiled sweetly at the cat, who meowed at him.

Seohyun finally turned, not bothering to check if the cat followed her or that boy, San. She was too scared to check. But when she heard the cat meow and rub at her legs, she smiled in relief.

"I'll feed you more now, I promise," she smiled at the cat.

Meanwhile, San watched the odd pair walk away in the distance.

"So rude!" the blue haired boy said, and everyone laughed. San turned and shook his head. "Not my fault you decided to act like my parent, Hongjoong."

"Doesn't look like she's from our school, but isn't it the school near the place we usually go to eat dinner?" The blonde asked.

"Yeah, it looks like it. You're treating us to dinner there tomorrow. You remember, right Yeosang?"

"You're always hungry for food Wooyoung, how could I forget?" He answered.

The group started to walk their way, talking about their plans for dinner, but San couldn't stop thinking about the girl with the grey streaks in her hair, the girl who had no friends other than a black cat. He unconsciously shook his head, finally paying attention to his present.

----------

"I said I'm sorry!" Seohyun yelled, "Now you leave my hair, and I'll leave yours."

"You first," the woman replied.

"Together, okay? One, two, three- YOU! You lied!"

"You lied too!" The woman shouted, and pulled at Seohyun's hair, earning a satisfactory groan from her.

"It's not like you can feel pain! You're a freaking ghost!"

"Doesn't mean I'm not insulted," the woman smirked, "Alright, I'll leave you first, and you leave no more than a second after, otherwise I'll make sure you feel the pain you love." The woman let go of Seohyun's hair and Seohyun did so right after, taking quick steps backward as she massaged her head.

"Bitch..." she muttered, and the woman laughed out loud.

The woman- ghost- had been keeping Seohyun company for about two months now, occasionally popping out of nowhere and leaving just as abruptly. At first, Seohyun had tried to help her in some way, help her move on and come to terms with her sudden death by accident, but the young woman had quite a difficult death and she was the first of a kind- a ghost with amnesia. No memories of how she had died and why she hadn't moved on.

Seohyun had to admit that she had grown used to her presence. She often found herself narrating her uneventful day to her, just like today, when she had excessively complained how useless of a friend she was and how none of her ghost friends had ever done her a favour. Somehow that had turned into an argument and then to them resorting to pulling each other's hair our, except her ghost friend couldn't feel any pain since she was, well, a ghost. Dead.

"I mean," Seohyun continued, fiddling with her hair, "it would have saved me from embarrassment had you popped up and helped me out there."

"What could I have done?" The woman sat down on the pavement, the black cat gladly jumping on her lap as the woman ran her hands through her fur. "It's not like anyone else can see me."

"Hello? You could have made me disappear."

"You know it's not good for your health. Why do it unless absolutely, absolutely necessary?" The woman glared at her.

"YES! That was absolutely, absolutely necessary. There were 8 of them! I was alone!" Seohyun whined and the woman just ignored her.

"Unnie~" Seohyun sat down near her, and the woman slid away from her.

"I told you not to call me that. I have a name, and it's Jiwoo."

"How can I call you by your name? You're much older than me." Seohyun grinned.

"And that's why I don't help you. Because you're a stubborn one. Also, I'm pretty sure I'm not that old."

"That's rich coming from you," Seohyun retorted, ignoring the last remark, "I'm not the one refusing to move on just because I can't get enough of worldly pleasures."

"And that's my cue to leave you alone, like you always are. There's a reason you don't have friends, Seohyun." Jiwoo got up, putting the curled cat on the pavement.

"I do have friends-"

"I'm talking about human friends. Your sharp tongue and stubborn heart, it's about time you change that."

"I-" Before Seohyun could complete, Jiwoo disappeared. Seohyun sighed, her heart sinking a bit at her harsh but true words.

There was indeed a reason that she had no friends. And it wasn't her ability to see ghosts.

Seohyun pulled her knees to her chest, shutting her eyes. She wanted to disappear.

--------------

Senior year of high school was supposed to be tough, yes, but Seohyun had to face challenges other than academic ones.

And it wasn't just the fact that she had no social life at all; she only had a group of people she could interact with if need be, otherwise she was perfectly content on being on her own. She had no problem staying amused in her own company.

The problem was with Seohyun, though not directly. It was the problem that she could see and interact with some of the dead. And the dead made sure she got in trouble if she didn't hear their woes and skipped school to maybe find them something (or someone) they had an attachment to, or didn't take them to their loved ones immediately.

She had often tried to reason with them; she tried to explain that she was perfectly aware how bad they must have it, but she had it worse since she was still alive, and with life came unforeseen consequences, such as having to face her mother if they caused a scene (which they usually did), or if they tried to grab her attention by any means necessary, such as causing her desk to fall, her stuff to fly (where she would immediately have to either hold it or pretend to have thrown it).

She tried, oh she tried so hard to tell them to wait until she was free from school and then she would do whatever they asked her to, but no. Apparently whatever they wanted to do was more important than her school, her reputation (already in ruins), everything. There rarely was someone patient enough, and those she made sure she looked after properly. Like Jiwoo.

She wished Jiwoo was here so she could get rid of the old wrinkly man in front of her. She was trying to focus on her mathematics but it was hard to when a fat belly blocked her vision. And she couldn't even say anything out loud, so she just sent daggers through her eyes, the message in her eyes clear. But the old man just smirked, continuing to block her vision.

Seohyun sighed and turned the page of her notebook, scribbling in it, then turned the notebook to the ghost in front of her. The man was short so he didn't have to bend as he read what she had written.

"IF YOU COULD STOP PESTERING ME FOR A FEW MINUTES YOU WRINKLY OLD MAN I CAN'T FOCUS ON MATHS BECAUSE OF YOU"

The old man smirked, and Seohyun wished she could kick him somewhere he would surely feel pain even though ghosts couldn't feel pain. She was so absorbed in thinking of ways that she could make this ghost feel pain that she didn't notice him take her notebook and run away before she could snatch it back.

As soon as Seohyun noticed, she jerked in her seat, stopping herself from getting up and following him. He stopped a few feet away, teasingly coming closer and closer, the frown on Seohyun's face getting deeper and deeper until he stopped near the girl sitting in front of her, tore a page from her notebook and gave it back.

And then he did what she dreaded. He made a ball out of that paper, aimed at the teacher, taking one last look at the very satisfying horrified face of the girl who could see ghosts but refused to help them, and threw the paper ball at the teacher with considerable force, hitting him on his head.

The teacher turned, running his eyes across the classroom, not missing how everyone was glancing between the teacher and Seohyun, who folded her arms rather defensively, silently praying he wouldn't actually pick the paper ball. But the teacher bent down, and it so happened that he was also old, and a bit wrinkly, so when he read the scribbled message, his face went red.

"Who was it?!" The teacher pushed his glasses up his nose-bridge and watched as the students hesitantly pointed to Seohyun, who sank deeper into her chair, as if somehow a pit would open and swallow her.

"You meet me in my office after class." The teacher shook his head in disappointment and continued where he left.

Seohyun was given a warning, and it was her second. She had only one left before she would be kicked out of school (if something big happened, which usually did if she waited for the third warning) so she decided it was time for her to move on again.

And this time she dreaded. It was always a hassle to explain to her mom what had happened. Her mom knew she could see ghosts and when she was little, she had tried all sorts of methods, of almost all religions she could think of, hoping her only daughter would turn out normal, but she had failed. But now she liked to pretend that she had forgotten all about it, and when Seohyun told her she had gotten into trouble, she would silently nod and get her to change schools before something big happened and it got written in her school record.

So a few attempts from the old ghost trying to get her in trouble and a few days later, Seohyun was finally free of struggling. She changed schools. And tomorrow would be her first day, hopefully the last time she had to change schools before her senior year ended. Before high school ended.

Seohyun was still dressed in her old school's uniform when she went to her new school to submit her files and make sure everything was good before her first day. She had her baseball cap on this time, making sure she would hide most of her face since a lot of people would be staring at her. It was normal to stare when someone from another school came.

The black cat found her once again, following her as she walked to the building. Seohyun motioned the cat to stay and it obeyed, watching the girl walk into the building.

From a distance, San and his friends were watching the whole scene. They had recognized the girl not by her face, which was half-hidden anyway, but her cat and the grey streaks in her hair.

"Let's hope she doesn't attack you with a pebble again," Yunho snickered, and San smiled, his hand unconsciously going to the now faint scratch on his face.

"I'm not going to your rescue if that happens," Hongjoong said and Seonghwa chimed in, "Neither will I."

"I never asked you anyway..." San trailed off.

"The cat looks like it wants to escape," Jongho pointed his finger at the hoard of girls that gathered around the poor cat. "Poor cat."

"San, you should go bring the cat. It would recognize you," Mingi suggested and San considered. The cat was worth saving.

A few moments later, San was back with the cat in his arms. The cat did recognize him. He bought the cat to the boys, who lightly patted her one by one, taking turns so she wouldn't feel scared.

After about five minutes, the boys heard someone clear their throat right behind them. They turned to see it was that girl.

"Aren't you the same group from that day?" Seohyun wondered out loud.

"The cat was scared because people were gathering around her, so we brought her here," Yeosang said.

"That's... kind of you," Seohyun met eyes with each of them, and the boys got a proper look at her face for the first time without her glasses. She had light eyes. The shadows beneath her eyes were dark, which contrasted with her eyes rather strikingly.

"What were you doing here? You're not from our school," Wooyoung commented.

"Oh, I'll be joining from tomorrow..." Seohyun realized somehow she's ended up in the same school as the boys. "What class are you in?"

"Senior year, all of us," Wooyoung replied, and they didn't miss her groan.

"I'm guessing you're senior year too," Seonghwa asked, earning a nod of confirmation.

"How ironic. What if you end up in our class?" Yeosang wondered.

"God forbid," Seohyun shook her head, making them smile despite her remark. "Now, should I leave the cat here, or..."

"Does it have a name?" San asked, rubbing under the cat's chin.

"Uh, no actually," Seohyun faltered when she saw San give her a disappointed look, "I just call her kitty. You can give it a name if you want to."

"I'll think about it," San shifted his arms to hand the cat over to Seohyun, and she took it, placing the cat on her shoulders, waiting until she sat around her neck like she usually did.

"I guess I'll go now," she met eyes with San for the last time, noticing the mole on his eyelid. San nodded, and she muttered an awkward bye before walking past them, cursing at herself mentally for being so awkward with them.

"It's you who got me in trouble, you dumb cat," she muttered under her breath. The cat didn't even bother reply.

The boys watched her leave, and Yeosang finally spoke, "I have a feeling she'll be in our class now. Oh, how the tables have turned."

"Interesting," Jongho smiled, "Does San have a new friend now?"

"The cat? Sure." San smirked.

"Ah, let's see how that changes," Jongho retorted, smirking back.

---------------

Seohyun tried to calm her nerves as she looked at herself in the mirror of the girls' toilet in her new school.

The nerves always got the better of her whenever it was her first day at a school. It usually took her about three days to get comfortable with a new environment. Seohyun sighed as she wiped her sweaty palms on her black skirt, staring at her light brown eyes. She wished she could cover them with her sunglasses so she could avoid the excessive eye contact with humans and ghosts. Sadly, she couldn't do that in class.

She finally took a deep breath and somehow managed to make herself walk to the office, where she met her homeroom teacher, a middle-aged woman. She walked along with her to her class, and the teacher smiled warmly at her as she nudged her to come along.

They entered the class and watched as the boys and girls went back to sit at their seats, the room slowly falling silent. The teacher cleared her throat.

"Good morning class, we have a new student today. Please introduce yourself."

Seohyun, who had been looking down the entire time, finally gathered whatever courage she had and ran her eyes along the class as she finally spoke.

"Good morning, I am Lee Seohyun. I hope we can get along well."

"Alright, why don't you find yourself a seat?" The teacher said and Seohyun nodded, looking at the few empty seats and considering her choices.

Her first priority was to sit as far away as possible. Preferably by the window. There was one empty seat in the furthest row, but it was next to the seat by the window already occupied by someone-

It was one of those boys. She only knew San's name for now, and it was the blonde one. She quickly scanned her other options and decided this was the best for now.

As she made her way, she realized the 8 of them were all sitting around the empty seat that she was about to sit on. San was in front of her, the strawberry blonde on her other side, the rest around them too. She wondered if the seat belonged to one of their friends so she quietly asked the blonde, "Is this seat free?"

He shook his head and she internally sighed in relief as she settled herself, focusing on whatever the homeroom teacher said, trying not to stare holes at the back of San's head, until she left a few minutes later and she slumped back in her chair.

San finally turned, raising his brows, "What a coincidence."

Seohyun shrugged, straightening her skirt. "Ironic, really."

"Is there a reason you changed schools?" The blonde turned towards her, resting his head on his hand as he looked at her curiously.

"Uh," Seohyun hesitated as she tried to recall her excuse for every time someone asked her this, "for convenience. It's closer to home."

"That's an interesting reason to change school," he replied, earning a shrug.

"Maybe she doesn't want to tell you why exactly. Am I right?" San locked eyes with her, his smirk growing.

"Maybe," Seohyun teased back.

"How's your cat?" She heard someone call, and she looked at the black haired boy.

"It's not exactly mine, but it's fine. Probably."

"That's... reassuring. I'm Wooyoung by the way. This is Yeosang-" he pointed to the blonde next to her, "San, and that's Yunho next to you."

She looked at Yunho and he waved shyly. "That's Seonghwa," he pointed in front of him, and when Seohyun nodded, he continued, "The blueberry is Hongjoong, the red one is Jongho, and that's Mingi over there."

Seohyun nodded slowly, looking at them all slowly. "Yunho, Seonghwa, Hongjoong blueberry,-"

"I heard that!" Hongjoong shouted, turning around and making a pout at Seonghwa. Ignoring him, she continued, "San, Jongho in the front, then Mingi beside him, Wooyoung and Yeosang. I got it."

"You're quick," Yunho grinned. Seohyun wished she could tell him that it was because of the several hundred ghosts she had met and had promised never to forget their names.

"So the 8 of you are friends?" She asked, and San nodded. "Why was this seat in the middle empty then?"

"Mingi used to sit here but his eyesight got worse so he moved to the front."

"Well, that explains..."

Their teacher walked in, a man in his 30s, and she found out he was to be her math teacher. At least he's not old and wrinkly, she thought as she took out her notebook.

---------

The rest of her day was uneventful, except for the break when the boys asked if she wanted to join them but she didn't. She said she had to go to the office, but that was a lie. She wanted to take a breather.

When they left, she looked again at her options. She was already regretting sitting among the group of friends. She was going to be a disturbance to them, or something even worse. She didn't want them to think she was weird. Not yet.

She surprised herself at the thought. Why did she care? She had never cared before. But she told herself it was probably because she had a few encounters with them before and it would be weirder if they found out now. That she was strange. They'd probably stop talking to her very suddenly. That part always hurt her, which was why she always avoided making friends.

Seohyun shook her head and looked at the empty seat in the middle of the room. The spot was out of question. Being in the middle of the room meant she could be surprised from anywhere by those damned ghosts.

Then there was one in the very front with the wall. She could go there, but...

She felt more comfortable here. The spot was perfect. The problem was the boys. They were in for disappointment.

She saw some girls staring at her. They were probably considering if they should talk and make friends with her. But Seohyun was in no mood for friends, so she just put her head on the desk and closed her eyes.

She almost drifted to sleep when she heard someone put something on her desk. She got up and saw that it was San. "We figured you didn't have time for lunch, so."

Seohyun looked from the bread and juice to San, and back at the food presented to her. "Thank you, that's uh... very kind of you?" She looked at San and Yeosang, and they laughed shamelessly at her.

"You don't sound so happy," Yeosang commented and she shook her head, sipping at the juice to prove her point as she said, "No, actually I'm glad, but it wasn't necessary."

They just shook her head at her, smiling as they absorbed themselves in some discussion. Seohyun silently ate the bread, wishing she could disappear because she didn't even know how to thank people properly.

At that moment, Jiwoo the ghost appeared, and Seohyun muttered, "About freaking time."

Jiwoo laughed and said, "I see you're having a good day."

"And I don't expect you to ruin it, so please live up to my expectations for once," Seohyun hissed, keeping her voice as low as possible, but it still made Seonghwa look at her once before he focused back on his friends.

Seohyun sighed. She couldn't write in her notebook now because they would definitely see it. And she couldn't talk. So she just folded her arms as she slowly sipped on the juice while Jiwoo danced around the classroom.

As soon as the bell rang indicating the end of the day, Seohyun sighed in relief. The day was over without any incident. She slowly packed her bag, thinking about her promise to meet a new ghost after her school. It was a girl about her age, and thankfully she understood what school demanded of her, so she had promised to not disturb her.

"You look ready to go to your bed and fall right asleep," Yeosang commented.

"Tell me about it," Seohyun muttered, wearing her bag and making her way out of the class, the boys not far behind.

San watched Seohyun walk as if she was in a hurry but couldn't care less at the same time. She would speed up, then slow down again, and repeat.

"Are you in a hurry?" Wooyoung asked her, falling in step with her.

"Uh, not really. Just can't wait to get home," she said, but her voice didn't match what she said. She sounded the least excited to do that.

"Long day, huh?" Wooyoung said and she finally passed him a smile. "So you know no one at this school?"

"Well," she said, "I am new."

"Well, you can be our friend. Only if you want to."

She stopped in her track, making San almost bump in her, and she muttered a sorry to him as she continued walking again. San decided he would join them now.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"Not sure you'd like me as a friend."

"And why do you think that?" San looked at her curiously.

Seohyun sighed, "I'm... how do I put it? I don't think I need friends. But that sounds rude. I don't mean to sound rude, it's just... better if you all don't mind me. I'd only be a bother and make everyone uncomfortable."

"We don't mind. We weren't all friends from the beginning. The group grew larger with time."

"And why do you think you don't need friends?" San asked.

Seohyun looked at him, then looked away, trying to avoid his steel gaze. "Not the type of person anyone would like as a friend."

"We won't know until we try though," Wooyoung said and smiled at her, making Seohyun wonder why the world didn't have more Wooyoungs.

"No harm in trying, right?" Yunho, who was behind her, vouched in.

Seohyun stopped to look at the odd group of friends, who were all smiling cheekily.

"You sure, blueberry?" She asked Hongjoong, who gasped in surprise. Yunho laughed out loud.

"If you don't call me blueberry, then why not?"

"Blueberry." Seohyun said and turned to walk away, hearing everyone laugh and make fun of Hongjoong. She saw the familiar figure of the ghost she had decided to meet, and she motioned with her eyes to turn to their left.

The ghost understood and it waited for her to turn left too. Seohyun looked back once at the boys who were now a good few steps behind, and she turned left, hoping no one had seen her, saw the empty road and joined hands with the ghost. She felt the familiar feeling of her heart sinking and her stomach flipping as the ghost teleported her to where it wanted to go.

The boys, who did notice her turning left in a hurry, followed soon after, only to find a very empty road with no where she could have gone or hidden.

"She did turn left. Right?" Mingi asked.

"She did. Didn't she? Or am I losing it finally?" Jongho muttered.

"Maybe it wasn't her?" Wooyoung suggested.

"But it was her. The grey in her hair..." Yunho said. "Maybe she turned right?" He looked at his right, where a few students were walking too.

San had been watching her and he was very sure she had turned left. Where she had gone... was a mystery.

"Strange..."

---------------

"That's... horrible."

Seohyun stood in front of a small house, the white walls glaring back at her. The ghost, a young girl only her age, had just teleported her to an empty alley near this house, which belonged to her best friend. The ghost had just finished telling her how she had died; a road accident by a drunk driver. Since she had died an untimely death, she couldn't do anything about it except mourn over her own death.

"But... people who die in such accidents usually like to make sure justice is served, and get the perpetrator punished. Don't you wanna do that?"

"Oh, I did," the girl pushed her long black hair back, "my parents are doing a good job there, so I wanna let them continue. I don't... want them to know that I'm still here. They should find their peace with all this."

"Wow," Seohyun couldn't help but be amazed at how thoughtful this girl was, "that's very wise of you actually. So what are we doing here?"

"I checked on my friend, Chaeyoung, and it seems like she's not... doing well. I want to somehow let her know that I'm okay. I think that's when I'll be able to move on."

Seohyun, for once, felt actually sorry for the friend. She didn't have a best friend so she couldn't relate, but having someone like that in your life and so suddenly losing them... must be very sad.

"Okay, let's do this," Seohyun said, taking a deep breath and taking off her baseball cap off. She smoothened her uniform and finally rang the bell.

"What if someone else is home, and she creates a ruckus-"

"I checked, she's alone for now." The girl said, and again, she mentally applauded the girl for being so thoughtful.

"Hey, what was your name again? I mean how do I introduce-"

At that moment, a tall girl sporting a bob and puffy eyes fresh from crying opened the door.

"Hi," Seohyun said.

"Do I know you?" Chaeyeong asked.

"You don't, but I'm here to talk to you. I heard your friend recently passed away-" Seohyun paused when Chaeyoung rolled her eyes and attempted to shut the door at her face.

"Wait!" Seohyun said and Chaeyoung paused.

"My name is Soojin." The ghost finally said, and Seohyun looked at her once, catching her nervous stance before turning back to Chaeyoung.

"You might not believe it, but Soojin is here," Seohyun said, and Chaeyoung pursed her lips. "And I don't have all day, so I'll just prove it. Soojin told me some stuff only the two of you would know. How you had a crush on her brother for the longest time, how you want to meet your childhood best friend who's moved to the States, how-"

"Wait," Chaeyoung stepped out, "How- when did Soojin tell you this? Are you Soojin's friend?"

"My name is Seohyun. and I'm sure you've never heard of me from Soojin," Chaeyoung nodded and Seohyun continued, "Soojin is here. She hasn't been able to move on to the afterlife or whatever it is ahead because she can't stand seeing you in pain and blaming yourself because you invited her over to meet with you. She wants you to know that her parents are doing a great job at making sure the drunk driver gets punished, and she wants you to know it's not your fault."

Seohyun watched Chaeyoung's eyes fill with tears at that, and she put a hand in front of her mouth as tears fell, "She's really here?"

"Right here," Seohyun pointed towards where Soojin stood.

"Can't I see her?" Chaeyoung asked, "I want to see her one last time. If I can."

"I'm afraid not," Seohyun sighed, "I don't know if that's possible. But she can see you and hear you right now, just like me. So I'll leave you to say your last goodbye. You can call me when you're done, okay Soojin?"

Soojin nodded and Seohyun went into the little garden in the house to give them some space. She watched as Chaeyoung cried and spoke to her best friend for the last time, falling to her knees. Soojin couldn't touch her, but she patted her head and it was like Chaeyoung could actually feel it.

Seohyun looked up at the cloudy sky. For once, she wished it was sunnier.

After a few minutes, Soojin called out to Seohyun. She awkwardly patted Chaeyoung on the back, and Soojin started speaking as Seohyun told Chaeyoung that Soojin loved her, and yes, it was her who kept sticking their photo back at the wall to give her a sign, and she wanted Chaeyoung to stop talking to the walls because she won't be there to listen to her anymore and that would only make her look crazy (at which Chaeyoung laughed).

"I don't have a best friend, but you guys, you both had something special. And I'm saying this from my self, that I hope you cherish the bond you both had in your heart and really move on. Do what you want to, because life is short," Seohyun said and smiled.

"Thank you. I'll do my best," Chaeyoung wiped the last of her tears.

"She's going now," Seohyun said, "She wants you to smile so that's the last thing she sees."

Chaeyoung smiled as tears fell from her eyes, and Soojin said, "This fool. I told her to smile."

"Stop being so petty, Soojin, she is smiling!"

"What did she say?" Chaeyoung asked.

"She said she asked you to smile, not cry," Seohyun said and Chaeyoung burst out laughing.

Soojin thanked Seohyun for helping her, and she watched as she shut her eyes, and disappeared in an instant.

Seohyun sighed, and Chaeyoung understood. "Thank you, Seohyun. I hope we can meet again?"

"Oh, you don't have to do that," Seohyun shook her head, "I just hope you'll have a good life ahead."

"I feel bad for not doing anything for you, maybe I could take you for some coffee next time?"

"Well, actually," Seohyun looked around, "there is something you can do. Can you tell me where I am? And can you call me a taxi?"

-----------

It turned out Seohyun was actually quite a while from home, so Chaeyoung ended up paying for the taxi because she felt bad for Soojin being so thoughtless when she teleported her here (at which Seohyun admitted Soojin was one of the wisest ghosts she had encountered). About 40 minutes later, Seohyun decided to drop by at a food street, because she was starving.

Seohyun walked through the hustling street, various food carts lining the street, several restaurants and cafes amidst them. She decided jjajangmyeon would do, so she sat alone at the table in the street, waiting for her meal. She was too tired to look at her phone so she just watched the people walking and eating.

She wished Jiwoo was here. Better than having no company. She wouldn't admit it, but she had grown quite used to her company. Jiwoo still hadn't been able to recall her memories of who she was and how she died, and why she was still hanging around. So Seohyun had left her at it.

Seohyun was so lost thinking about Jiwoo that she didn't notice Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Mingi approaching her until they stopped right in front of her.

"Of all the places," Seohyun wondered out loud, not caring how it might sound to them.

"It seems like we were meant to meet today," Mingi said dramatically, and Hongjoong slapped his arm as he said, "It looks like you haven't gone home yet. Isn't it very late?"

Seohyun sat back in her chair, putting one leg on top of the other. "And what do you care?"

"Ah, so that's what you meant when you said people don't like to have you as a friend," Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa gasped at his friend as he scolded him, but stopped when Seohyun laughed out loud.

"Since you're here, are you gonna take a seat or will you be continuing to walk aimlessly?"

"I guess we'll take a seat," Mingi said, and they all sat and decided to order food first.

"Aren't you cold?" Seonghwa asked, as he noticed how Seohyun put her bag on her bare legs.

"I am. But I'm okay," she said, and Seonghwa shook his head as he started to take off his jacket. "Oh please, I'm okay, I'll feel really bad if you do this."

"Nonsense, this is an extra layer anyway," Seonghwa handed her the jacket and she realized it was true; he did have many layers on him. So Seohyun put his jacket on her legs, muttering a thank you.

"So what's your story?" Hongjoong asked, and Seohyun raised her brows as she said, "You first. I'll talk after I have some food."

"Alright then," Hongjoong said, and told her how they all had been classmates since elementary, with Seonghwa and Hongjoong being friends since that time, until Wooyoung and Yeosang who had also been friends joined, then one by one the group grew.

"Interesting," Seohyun said, "And the 8 of you... How do you get along peacefully? I can't even get along with one."

Mingi pfft-ed at her. "We aren't exactly saints ourselves, but with us being 8, it becomes hard to take anyone serious."

Seohyun scoffed, "So the reason you all get along so well is because you all don't take anyone serious."

"Basically, yes," Mingi answered proudly, and food was served. Seohyun hungrily dig in, and Seonghwa scolded her for eating so quick.

"So with Seonghwa as a mother figure of the group," Seohyun began, "I can imagine why there is peace among all of you."

"Ha. ha. Very funny," Seonghwa rolled his eyes but Hongjoong and Mingi laughed, agreeing with her as they said, "She's not wrong."

She watched them bicker back and forth and wondered if this could really work out. They seemed very tightly knit, and she felt like an intruder. She wasn't even sure if they would feel comfortable with her. Why had they even asked her to be their friend?

"It really does show. That you've been friends for a long time," Seohyun commented, fiddling with her noodles.

"It does, huh?" Mingi smiled at her.

"Can I ask you something?" Seohyun said, and they nodded, "Why did you ask me to be your friend? I mean, you guys look okay as you are now. You don't need an extra friend in this group of yours. So why ask, and why me?"

"Well, how do I put it..." Hongjoong wondered out loud.

"You've got good aim," Mingi said, and for a second, Seohyun was lost before she realized.

"I didn't do that on purpose!" Seohyun's eyes were wide, and Mingi told her that he, of course, was joking, But he winked right after, which made her wonder if that was actually one of the reasons.

"Our group needs a girl. There are too many boys." Seonghwa said, and Seohyun raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sure there's no lack of girls in your school."

"There isn't... but they are too... girly?" Hongjoong seemed to think how to put it, and Seohyun folded her arms.

"And what if I am girly too?" Seohyun countered.

"You're just the right amount of weird. Yeosang already clicked so well with you. San loves your cat. You sit in the middle of us. You have no friends. Now you can't avoid it."

"Wow, okay," Seohyun finished her noodles as she thought about what they had said. "And what if... we don't get along?" Seohyun asked.

"We're not exactly forcing you, are we?" Hongjoong asked and she nodded, "If you like to stay alone, then fine. But Wooyoung, it was his idea. And he really knows when a person needs a friend."

"Oh," Seohyun realized what he meant. She looked like she needed friends.

"Plus, we do get along well, don't you think?" Mingi smiled.

"Well, what can I say, except that you'll find me really weird. And okay, I can try. But one day, you're gonna wonder why you even thought we could be friends. You'll wish you'd never asked me."

The three of them stared at her. Seohyun stared back and once again, the three of them burst out laughing.

"We're already regretting. Was it so hard to make friends, Hongjoong?" Mingi asked.

"I don't even remember. Wow."

Seohyun couldn't help but laugh as she thought how it was gonna be. It was true. No one took anything serious.

Maybe they'll never find out about her ghost problems then.

Or maybe they'll never believe her.

----------

next

[flowerbloom-arts]

Omnishambles

Chapter 2

In which I wake up too early and find myself unbelievably miserable and alone, Moomin is being rude from his own issues and impatience, and Hodgkins talks longer than usual.

-

Prolog | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[Features Muddler, Hodgkins and Moomin. Full of angst (with a tiny bit of comedy). Around 4.5 k words long.]

🥀

I eventually woke up from a nightmare I couldn't remember and my bed felt a bit damp, likely because I was wearing my hot layered day clothes rather than the bathrobes I wear as pajamas. I blinked a few times because everything was an odd blueish darkness, I wasn't sure if it was something wrong with my eyes or mind or whatever thing that could cause this.

I sat up and rubbed my eyes thoroughly and looked up around me. Things were still dark but I could see the outline of the others sleeping on their beds…

It's… it's nighttime. I woke up in the middle of the night. Of course. Why would I think it was otherwise? I slept at, like, what? The afternoon or whatever it's called? I knew the sun was still up, I wasn't very good at knowing what certain times of day are called, or when they happen based on the position of the sun.

I observed a bit longer, not sure what to do at this time. Do I go back to sleep? No, I wasn't sleepy. Do I get out of bed? … Maybe? I might wake up the crew or mess something up though, they'd be so panicked to find I was gone from my bed as well. Then again I could also get some chores done, but I'm not sure if I'm in the mood to do chores… or if I'm really able to do them at all in fact… it… it doesn't hurt to try, does it? It doesn't hurt. It shouldn't. It won't. I could… I could do it.

I had to.

But first I had to stop feeling so hot, it's making me feel like I can't breathe, even my pillow seemed to have absorbed the sweat from my head. Are my clothes still on me? I can't see them on account of them also being as invisible as myself.

I searched around my chest for my coat's top button and got painfully reminded how much I despised my own body for how much it despises me. Like oh, of course I just couldn't be a normal man, no no, I had to be a clumsy biological mix up, a natural mistake! I had to be a muddled mess by birth and I had to go from a supposedly happy child – that's what Hodgkins told me I was, atleast – to a teenager who was too scared to get touched by anyone but his uncle lest the other person finds out and calls me a freak. I'm not even a complete Muddler. My father is… I don't know what to call him, nor do I remember what he looks like, but I think he's relatively close to Hodgkins, right? He has to be.

And that's why my eyes are weird and blue, that's why I'm freakishly tall, that's why I'm so sickly and full of pain all the time, that's why I'm so clumsy and dumb, hybrids like me tend to not come out too right. I can't hide my eyes, but at the very least I can hide my chest and my size. It didn't change the fact that my whole back and legs felt like heck to walk with but at least I could feel like I seemed acceptable to Joxter… oh and to think what everyone else would do if they knew two socially unacceptable men were in love! This is why we haven't told Moomin about it and we plan to never will… and I'm lucky to have an accepting uncle, even if he doesn't get romance…

It makes my skin crawl to think that fate has bestowed upon me a constant series of tantalizing conundrums where I'm only halfway acceptable in any aspect you look at. Whatever did I do to exist like this? Was it the fault of my parents? Did they do something wrong and I had to endure the punishment? It would make sense given everything that has happened to me… but… they wouldn't do something horrible enough for the punishment to be this bad, would it? They would never, so therefore I have to be the cause of it, there's simply no way justice would operate like that. Unless it isn't that bad and I'm being terribly ungrateful like I always am… I don't have a right to complain… this is why all of this should only ever stay in my head…

… what was I meant to do again? Ah yes, take off my coat. At least now I wouldn't have to deal with looking at myself and being reminded of everything aforementioned, I guess that's one upside I could take away from this.

I managed to find my invisible coat button and move it through the invisible hole. I did the same with my three over buttons and partially became free of the terrible heating it caused. I went ahead and took it off by my sleeves and dropped it on the bed.

Odd thing though, it faded into view, and the coat became invisible again, unlike me. Or at least I think it became visible, it's still difficult to see in the dark. I removed my scarf with the safety pin attached as well since it made my neck uncomfortably hot like that coat, the thing also came into view as I took it off from myself.

I moved my blanket aside and got out of bed, I almost stood up straight but my legs buckled into the crouching stance I taught them to stand in for a long time now. I turned to look at my bed, all messy and wrinkly from what I could perceive in the darkness. I considered for a good few seconds whether I should make my bed right then and there and even picked up my coat, but… uhm… y- you know what? It would be better if I had my coffee first and also waited until some sunshine could come through and my crew would be awake so I wouldn't be bothering them with my noise… yes. But wouldn't they also think I was being irresponsible and not looking after myself because I didn't make my bed…?

Actually, I should make a note explaining all of that! That way, they wouldn't be worried and they wouldn't think I was being dumb! And they'll think I was being considerate!! It's perfect!

I tiptoed from my bed to the little desk Hodgkins kept all his writing and drawing material at. I squatted down and opened one of the drawers carefully and felt my paw around to find some paper and pens.

Then I halted. Wouldn't this be considered stealing? Should it? … I'm… I'm sure Hodgkins will forgive me if I used just one piece of paper, right? Right…? I continued searching.

I found some paper at last, then the pen I found in another drawer. I got up from my squatting position and put the paper down on the desk. My eyes were adjusted to the darkness by now to see what I'm writing hopefully, so I put the pen to paper and wrote:

“ ”

… I said I wrote:

“ ”

… why isn't the pen writing anything? Is the ink run out?

“ ”

“ ”

“ ”

Maybe I should try a different pen-

“ ”

Why isn't it working??? Are all these pens broken!?

“ ”

What in Walter Hunt's name-!?

“ ”

… Does fate legitimately hate me?

“ ”

I'm done. This isn't working, I'm probably doing something wrong with these pens, but whatever, I can't seem to use any of them and I am too tired to figure it out now… I need my coffee.

I gave up and left the desk a mess of pens, I'd deal with it later, I thought. I almost forgot to put on my saucepan but thankfully I remembered before I left the sleeping quarters and ventured into the pantry.

I lit up the oil lamp hanging on the ceiling using a convenient long match close to the entrance and looked through the tin cupboard and tried looking for where the coffee tins were, maybe I should organize the pantry soon… I pulled one out and looked at the label;

Hills Bros Coffee™

The tin was red and had a little bearded old dude in a yellow dress drinking coffee on it, little texts at the sides of him said 'The Original Vacuum Pack' and 'Red Can Brand', the tin was unremarkable otherwise.

I was overcome with… hatred for this thing. The red shade of this cylinder mocked me somehow, it knew what I had been through and it made fun of me for it. I didn't know if it was brand loyalty, the fact I just lost my blue coffee tin just yesterday, or I simply hated the color red now, I simply knew I wanted to throw this tin can to the ground and crushed it under my foot, even if I didn't feel such a strong hatred for this kind of tin before, I hated it now and I wanted it out of my sight.

My paw shook with it in hand and I quickly slammed it back in place. Actually no, I slid it into the far back of the cupboard and picked up another, less offensive tin. It didn't matter what brand it was, I just didn't want it to be red.

Making coffee on this boat was absolutely hellish. Clean water was one thing but boiling it required patience I simply did not have at the time, so I settled for lukewarm coffee. I still felt tired and bad and terrible. And tired. And terrible…

Why did it have to be so bad? It would've been better if I just stayed in bed and not have to be frustrated going through all of that…

Nobody else even opened their eyes yet and I already had one of the worst mornings I can remember, the sun isn't up yet-

Oh, wait no, I peeked over to the entrance and I can see some sunshine coming through, Hodgkins and Moomin should be waking up now, early birds that they are. I took a quick sip of my coffee and dashed back down into the sleeping quarters with careful steps.

I gently placed the coffee on the desk and went to try and fix my bed but… then I lost motivation as soon as I picked up my coat.

I suddenly didn't want to fix my bed anymore. I lowered my paws and lost my grip. The coat fell back onto the bed and I felt like not doing anything. I fell quiet in my mind, and I sat down with my body taking up as little space as possible, waiting for everyone else to wake up. I should have cleaned up the desk… but I didn't.

The sun hit my uncle's eyes and he woke up slowly, I tensed up as he looked at my direction, squinting. He seemed confused for a second and then remembered yesterday, he groaned and got up, half disappointed that I'm still an issue they have to fix. He looked around and saw the mess I've made of the desk and my own bed, he then looked at my saucepan and tried to greet me very forgivingly; "Good morning," in a still sleepy tone.

He got up to survey the crime scene I had concocted while they were asleep, looking inside the empty coffee mug I left on the desk, then the paper and pens. He didn't seem all that bothered, or maybe he's wondering all sorts of things about how and why his desperate and poor little nephew would do this, one can't tell with this man.

He walked over to my bed and picked up the scarf curiously, then he asked my saucepan "Your clothes from yesterday?"

I nodded.

He took out the safety pin that held it in a loop and threw it on my bed and looked at my saucepan again. "Hold still, testing something," he said quietly and squatted in front of me. He put the scarf on me from behind my neck and let it hang on me for a bit.

The invisibility bled from the part of the scarf touching my neck down to the ends of it, it completely disappeared after a few moments, then he took it off of me and it faded back again.

Hodgkins looked at the scarf in his paws, he furrowed his brow and hummed. "Perhaps we should try clothes you haven't worn," he suggested.

Then we heard Moomin groan as he got up from his bed, he rubbed his eyes and saw us already awake. He seemed confused as well but then had the realization and scoffed, annoyed. He climbed out of bed and mumbled "Morning captain," to Hodgkins and then glanced at my saucepan with irritation "Muddler," he added with some disgust in his voice, or at least I'm pretty sure it was disgust.

"What did we discuss yesterday?" Hodgkins asked indignantly.

Moomin sighed and pinched the bridge between his eyes "Right, right, erm…" he looked up at my saucepan. "I'm sorry about yesterday, and… the rest of this whole boat trip… I'll make an effort to be nicer to you from now on." he said and Hodgkins only nodded in response.

He wasn't being sincere, was he? Hodgkins definitely told him to say that to me. He didn't like me one bit and I knew he didn't hide it. He thought I was everything I thought myself to be, which means it's probably true, right? That I was dumb and clumsy and worthless – that's one thing I knew we agreed on, I'm too scared to talk to him and find out what else he thinks.

"Anyway," Moomin continued and turned away with his paws behind his back. "I suppose we should have some breakfast soon, since Muddler is dealing with his…" he gestured vaguely towards me "Situation…" he completed and turned away again "I'll kindly take it upon myself to cook breakfast for the crew! I may not compare to Muddler when it comes to cooking in the eyes of some but I believe it to be the right thing to do in such a distressing time for the rest of you! … except the little Nibling, he doesn't seem too in touch with the tension of everything."

My heart sank into the mattress of my bed as I felt terrible for having someone else take over my duties, Joxter did promise me yesterday but hearing that moomin say it and knowing it's going to happen practically right now gives me an aching feeling in my stomach, or maybe it was the bad coffee from earlier…

Moomin made some oatmeal for breakfast. It was honestly strange having food given to me by a stranger. We didn't frequent restaurants or cafes very much, I wasn't used to having food handed to me by a practical stranger.

I sat on the floor at the corner between the doubled stairway, it was where my tin used to sit and I would eat whatever I could alone in there, but it's not there anymore. Yet I still sat there, staring at my food and trying my hardest to force myself to eat but I couldn't even make myself lift the spoon and dig into it. I sat pathetically for a while, and Moomin eventually noticed.

"Do you… not like oatmeal?" Moomin asked with concern.

I did like oatmeal, it was an alright breakfast most days and I wanted to say as much, but it's hard to tell if I should nod or shake my head at such a question; 'Yes I don't like oatmeal' and 'No I don't like oatmeal' are practically the same answer, how should I decide? I simply stared at him, not knowing how to respond otherwise.

Moomin was puzzled at my non-response and the realization hit him, it seemed he took it as me waiting for him to rephrase the question for a better response; "Ah, sorry, I meant do you like oatmeal?"

I nodded.

"Then why haven't you eaten it yet? Do you just not get hungry when you're invisible? Hodgkins explained part of it to me after we left the lower deck yesterday – since, well, I didn't know about it – but he said he doesn't know much about it either, so," Moomin explained.

I think I just didn't have an appetite, even if I should eat something right now. I didn't get to eat dinner yesterday either, I should be starving by now.

Moomin paused and looked down thoughtfully. "Oh it's going to be difficult having to ask just yes-or-no questions…" he mumbled and looked back at me "Er, are you hungry?"

I nodded.

"Do you want something else for breakfast?"

I shook my head. I shouldn't trouble him with preparing something else for me anyway.

"Then there shouldn't be an issue!" Moomin snapped "Back in my old orphanage my principal would make us eat the most bland boiled vegetables out of her garden, at the very least this oatmeal has some flavour!"

I shrunk into the corner and felt so terribly ungrateful at that moment, Moomin had it so bad for his childhood and what little I remembered of mine was decent enough. Hodgkins was good, Moomin's principal was awful, I shouldn't even be feeling so terrible all the time… gosh… I'm so dumb…

My paw shook as I tried to scoop up some of the oatmeal and it shook even more violently as I tried to shove it in my mouth. I felt Moomin's gaze on me and it pinned me to the wall. I couldn't do it. My head dropped low and I started crying. My tears escaped my eyes and stained the floorboards as they faded into visibility.

Moomin panicked "Are- are you crying!? Oh no, oh no no- Hodgkins is going to kill me and throw my body overboard if he finds out!" he exclaimed dramatically.

"Find out what?" Hodgkins' shadow loomed over Moomin, he was holding his bowl of breakfast and had an old coat over his shoulder.

Moomin squeaked and slammed his back against the knee wall of the stairs. "I am so sorry Hodgkins I didn't mean to-!"

"You made my nephew cry?" Hodgkins asked, noticing the tear stains on the floor.

Moomin started to gabble "He didn't eat his oatmeal and I asked him if he wanted something else and he didn't and I said he should just eat it and he started crying and-"

"Treat him gently next time," Hodgkins said sternly and kneeled down, he placed his bowl aside and reached in slowly for mine "It's okay, you don't have to eat right now…" he spoke softly to me, it nearly gave me whiplash at how quickly his tone managed to change. He picked up my bowl to leave it on the floor next to his. He picked up the coat from his shoulder and placed it on his arm.

"Come on, let's put this on you," he offered a paw to lift me and I obliged. He made me stand up straight and put the coat on me. I wore it insecurely, looking at Moomin's dumbfounded face staring up at the saucepan that reached above Hodgkins' shoulder, then I buckled back down to the height of his lower chest.

I crossed my arms and looked down, it was a midnight blue coat that I think Hodgkins wore but stopped wearing for some odd reason. It sat far too big on me, then again I was used to oversized clothing on myself.

Hodgkins waited in anticipation for it to disappear but it didn't. He patted my back, relieved, then he crouched down to pick up the bowls.

Moomin still stared at me and I wanted to hide in the corner away from him, I wanted to avoid him so badly, he didn't like me, he didn't. He hated me so much and only tolerates me because of Hodgkins. That's it. That's the relationship we have. I'm scared of him and he hates me and the only thing keeping us together on this wretched boat is my uncle who we both admire and cling onto. I hated the look in his eyes, I hated the way he looked at me, dumbfounded and afraid and scornfully.

We didn't know each other well, yet his lack of experience with me made his feelings toward me feel more genuine. The person I've become was unbearable, I thought, the other two clung onto the person I used to be, Moomin didn't know who I used to be, and he didn't like me.

And I wanted to avoid that reminder.

Hodgkins took a few steps to leave and halted, remembering that he should start caring about me himself, aswell. He looked at my saucepan, slightly embarrassed, and cleared his throat "Still want to eat this?" he asked, referring to the oatmeal.

I shook my head.

"Want something else?"

I shook my head again.

"Not hungry anymore?"

I nodded.

He looked at me with concern and lowered ears "If… when you're hungry later, just come up and tug my clothes, alright? Don't want you to starve."

I nodded, hesitantly.

Hodgkins had an untrusting look on his face and offered the bowls to Moomin "Take these below."

"Y- yes sir!" Moomin blurted out, took the bowls and ran off down the entrance.

We looked at him and then Hodgkins looked at my saucepan "Should give us some alone time, he gets oddly rude about my care for you."

Of course he did, he was in a padded sea shell at the door of a terrible orphanage, and of course he'd be attached to him, and of course he'd hate me for taking Hodgkins away from him.

Hodgkins sat down in the corner I was at and looked at me expectedly. I sat down next to him and he pulled me into a side hug, he looked down thoughtfully. "Been doing some thinking yesterday, about how I've been handling you under my care. Felt guilty about the whole thing," he said and paused, then continued with a sigh "To be frank, I always thought I'd be a terrible parent for you, you're much like your father and turns out your similarities didn't end at the positive aspects of your personalities. I'm always terrible at keeping my attention to more than one thing at a time, you know that, right?"

I nodded.

"Knew I should've had some second caretaker to take care of that, but I didn't, because I felt it had to be a mother figure and so I had to involve myself in romance, and I hated the thought of being in a romantic relationship. I just couldn't find anyone attractive or someone I want to be beyond friends with and romantic gestures always felt off or horrifying to me. This is not an excuse of course, I should have gotten you a second… better caretaker other than myself, or maybe I should've tried harder. I felt like I needed to prove something and I failed miserably, because you… I felt like… I ruined you, and I'm so afraid to lose you like I did my brother. He wasn't very happy either, even if like you he used to be happy, then a lot of things happened and he ended up… lost…"

There's that upset tone I didn't like hearing from him, he's taking it so hard on himself even though he did nothing wrong, he couldn't have done anything wrong… I hugged him from the side. He responded by looking down at my saucepan and feeling even more guilty as he continued.

"And I know… I know you'd say it's not my fault, that I didn't do anything, but my lack of doing anything for you is the problem, and I'm so sorry it had to come to this for me to apologize. You care so much and I couldn't possibly return it sufficiently, and you keep blaming yourself or hiding away when you should've kicked me into thinking about you more. I'm so sorry for nearly forgetting about you when we launched, for hiding away from the Hemulen and leaving you, for not helping you when Edward destroyed our home, for making you do any of this… for leaving you alone far too much…" he sniffed and rubbed his eyes, his voice started to get croaky from the tears and the sore throat he was developing for talking more than he's used to "I'm so sorry it took getting to this point for me to realize. Now we're stuck in the middle of nowhere and being at the mercy of the sea… I didn't… I don't…" Hodgkins stuttered, having difficulty in coming up with what to say next "I don't want you to misconstrued any of this and pin it on yourself, please. You've done it enough already and it doesn't help anyone or yourself, I want… need you to accept that what I've been doing was purely my fault and I should've done better, not the other way around, alright?"

… I hugged him a little tighter, I didn't want to hear any of this, I felt so bad for him, I didn't want to accept what he said, I didn't want him to feel bad for being the way he is. He held my arm and rubbed it with his thumb sadly.

"You keep hurting yourself over things that aren't your fault and I don't want you to continue like this. You're anything but a burden or a mistake and you deserve any amount of space that you need, not just the bare minimum…" he gulped and seemed hesitant to say something else "Please come to me for any reason as much as you need, you wouldn't bother me one bit and don't dare consider yourself a pest when you do, alright?"

It took a while for me to consider it, I didn't want any of that… I felt terrible for everything Hodgkins just said, I didn't think I'd make him feel any of that sort of way. Was I really hurting myself over nothing? Did I really deserve better…?

It was tiring to feel terrible all the time, I must admit, still, I felt like I deserved it, but… maybe. Maybe I could at least try. I nodded, and we both sat there quietly, perhaps feeling as if we took a step of sorts. It was… nice...

It was nice.

[liptonsbabe]

Chains of a family [B.W]

Bill Weasley x Grant! reader

Chapter 1,

Chapter 2,

Chapter 3,

Chapter 4,

Chapter 5, 

Chapter 6

Summary: The Weasley family have traditions about marriage and Bill has to respect them if he truly wants the reader become his wife. In the attempt to respect his family wishes the weasleys have to visit reader’s grandparent Tim Grant who has a lot of things to say

Word count: 5K TOO LONG I’M SO SORRY

Warnings: none(?

A/N: Hey! part 6 of this thing. I’m so sorry to update this late but it was a complicated chapter and the longest so far. I’ll try to make small chapters from now on and the wedding is aproching, you guys!! i’m sooo excited to publish that part but we have to wait a little more for that.

So, as i’ve said in the last chapter, i changed some things from de canon like Bill being attacked by Grayback and such. it’s just for the plot of this series ok? hope you don’t mind guys.

Anyways, like always, english not my mother language so pls let me know if somethings wrong. Enjoy!

Chapter 6: Your life is not enough

You needed a couple of weeks to fully recover, even if it meant having Bill on your back every hour and taking you away from your duties with the Order. The mission that Remus Lupin gave you had to wait until further notice, all for William's excessive concern about your wounds

The task of keeping you away was complicated, more so when the Death Eater attacks had gained strength that no one expected. The members of the order spent twenty-four hours a day on watch with no time for breaks, even Bill went three days without sleep until you, still recovering , left the room and dragged him back with you regardless of his constant complaining. Molly supported you in the decision - thank god - telling her son not to worry that the rest of the Order would keep their eyes fully opened and he could rest comfortably next to you

The drastic change in Mrs. Weasley's behavior confused you because there was no reason for it, but the relief helped make your recovery quicker and less painful. The healer who  you the morning after the accident with the Death Eaters took too long to close the wound as it was a curse wound and it needed a counter spell to heal properly, but not having one, he used other tactics and Dittany to help it heal. However, the help had come too late, and the scar was a throbbing fact that stung terribly when you made the slightest move. The healer said the burning and discomfort would go away with time, but the redness would stay forever. You thought that would be the last of your problems until you got your first glimpse of the result of the attack.

It was a disastrous thing, but it could have been much worse. You sighed as you looked at your disheveled image in the bathroom mirror. You had just taken a shower and Bill was still dressing in the bedroom. You took off the robe Ginny had given you a night before, watching the scar glisten across the valley of your breasts ending above your ribs. You sighed again, if you didn't consider yourself pretty before, at that moment you felt awful.

A new figure appeared in the reflection accompanied by a bright smile. William wore his white shirt tucked into his pants, his bow tie dangling from his collar and his suspenders placed perfectly flush against his shoulders. You smiled, looking at him through the mirror.

“Getting used to your dazzling new short hair?” You asked as you noticed Bill's nervous hand run over his head for the fifth time after the shower. Bill groaned, burying his face in your neck.

“I hate this style”

“And why did you cut it off, then?”

“Mom made me," he stated, tightening his hands around your waist, "She wants me to make a good impression, and for once I wanted to please her in something”

“Wow, your mom wanting to impress my family? That's new”

“Well, not every day you get to visit Lord Voldemort's brother," you gave him a bad look, smacking his hand, "Too soon for a joke, sorry”

You shook your head, escaping from Bill's embrace putting perfume behind your ear, on your wrists and neck. You gasped when a small drop of perfume touched your wound, reddening it. Your eyes lost in the scar again, knowing that even if your dress managed to cover most of it, the initial edges would be exposed like the body of a worm crawling through your clothes. Bill discovered your discontent. He hugged you again, running his fingertips over your sore skin as he kissed your bare shoulder. Maybe you couldn't see it, but for Bill you were perfect. Not just for the way you looked, but  the beautiful heart that, even if he didn't deserve it, you had given him without any qualms. You deserved to be appreciated by the rest of the world, not just by him.

“I love you. You know that, don't you?”

“Even with the scar?”

“With the scar even more. It shows how brave you are and you should be proud of it. You saved Mad-Eye”

“The others will see it”

“It's their problem, not yours. You're still the most beautiful woman in this world.

You smiled, stroking the short hair of the man behind you.

“Not as much as that”

“You're right. I stand corrected. You are the most beautiful woman in both worlds”

“William...”

“I'll help you get dressed," he said, noticing that you were blushing up to your ears. William smiled without understanding why a sweet comment could make you blush, but not the fact that he was looking at you naked from the waist up. He picked up the dress hanging on the dresser reaching over to help it over your head pulling it down gently so as not to hurt you. Then, he zipped up your back leaving a wet kiss on your neck.

Bill's false calm didn't go unnoticed by you. As you smoothed the folds of your dress you noticed the trembling in his hands and the way his feet drummed on the floor. He was playing with the zipper of your dress pulling it up and down, trying to calm his nerves

“Bill, it's not necessary to do this”

“It is!” He replied looking up. You turned to him, crossing your arms around his neck, "I want to respect the traditions, to do things right. I want to show everyone that we mean business. It's just that...”

“My grandfather scares you?”

“What? No” You raised an eyebrow “Okay, maybe a little”

“You don't need to talk to him. He'll understand”

“I want to”

You gave in to Bill's pout. A few days ago, just after he asked you to marry him, Arthur Weasley spoke to his son asking him how he would go about keeping the traditions of the family. Bill didn't seem to understand what he was referring to when his father explained that the Weasleys used to always, always, visit the bride's parents' home right after the engagement to ask for their approval. Offerings were usually brought in a show of respect and the parents in question would respond by offering dinner for the guests. Bill's eyes widened, was that a real tradition?, he didn't know, “why didn't you ever tell me about it!” he questioned his father in a shout. Arthur knew about his son's untimely ignorance, returning the accusation, “Would that have made any difference on your desire to have her as your wife?” Bill didn't have to think too hard. “Of course not!” he shouted and his father laughed, patting him on the shoulder. His son was brave and would have asked for his bride's hand even from Voldemort himself. Bill was lucky tho cause he only had to talk to the old alchemist Tim Grant.

Your grandfather was the only one in the family who seemed to be neutral in the war caused by his brother, but above all he was the person who loved you most as you had both been banished from the Grants for standing up for your own convictions. Maybe Tim wasn’t an active member of either side, however, the blood connection with his brother Tom Riddle sent shivers down the spines of those around him. The man isolated himself in the Galapagos islands dangerously close to a volcano, where he was sure his brother wouldn’t dare to look for him. The Weasleys, hearing the story from your lips didn’t understand why.

You used a portkey to get to your grandfather's house. Arthur had communicated with Tim hours earlier and the two of them managed to establish a connection undetected for the ministry thanks to  the old Grant's powerful magic and his skills as an alchemist.  You couldn't hide your excitement at seeing your grandfather again, which encouraged Bill's eagerness to formally introduce himself to his next.... grandfather-in-law?

“Well then, but you don't have to worry. Grandpa is a very understanding man”

“Yeah, I'm sure he is”

“Bill Weasley, who knew talking to an old man would make you so nervous?”

“Very funny” he rolled his eyes, gluing his forehead to yours “I just want him to like me, (Y/N)”

“He likes everyone”

“That doesn't make me feel any better.”

“It will when you talk to him and see there's nothing to be afraid of” You stood on your tiptoes cause even with your high heels you couldn't reach his height. You kissed his cheek, snatching a warm smile from him “He's not like the rest of my family”

“I didn't mean to imply that, I'm sorry”

“It's all right, I know you didn't mean it. Now let's go downstairs, your mother must be going crazy”

“As if she wasn't already”

You slapped his arm as you descended the stairs. You didn't want Molly to hear them and relive her recently dissipated discontent with you

The rest of the family were already near the portkey with their arms full of baskets with offerings for your grandpa and the twins carrying some strange ornaments. Bill's sister Ginny greeted you with a smile, handing one of the baskets to her older brother. Molly and Arthur approached their children, both hanging on the opposite arm dressed in their best sunday clothes to make a good impression. You smiled without waiting for Bill's mother to smile back.

After the accident at Little Whinging Molly's rudeness disappeared. Not that she accepted you with open arms, but she stopped making bad comments and avoided looking at you in a bad way. Bill didn't know what Mad-Eye said to his mother that night when he told everyone how you had saved him knowing how much he owed you, but Bill didn't understand the size of the changing till he saw his mother offer you a piece of litchi pie the night after the attack when you were recovering from the wound. It was not that big of a deal really, but it had left you with a permanent smile on your face.

It was Molly herself who had taken the initiative to encourage Bill to fulfill the family tradition. If a Grant was going to come into their home as their son's wife then she should do it the way they knew. Her first piece of advice to her son was cutting his hair to a normal length. Bill was horrified by his mother's words cause he knew she was taking advantage of the moment to make him suffer with his precious mane. He did it anyway, because there wasn't anything in the world he wouldn't do for you

It was a drastic change, but it was worth it. Molly saw your eyes sparkle at the sight of her son so changed, with his hair cut short and his beard shaved. Your fingers danced over his face appreciating the effort Molly, not yet convinced of your influence at home, had made for you. Molly stifled a smile, unaware even to herself, that you were slowly beginning to win her heart.

You touched the shuttle at the same time falling precipitously in the sand and Harry helped you up  with a smile. Then you walked straight appearing in front of a huge house that was sheltered by the foothills of the bubbling volcano on the other side of the island. The twins, like the rest of the family, let out an exclamation of astonishment as Ron, harried by the huge spiders hovering in the sand, ran for the door.

The smell of freshly cooked food escaped through the cracks in the door before it was opened. The twins' eyes widened as they recognized the delicious smell of cooked prawns and coconut sauce wafting over their heads. You knocked on the door three times, then stopped and resumed the knocking four more times. The Weasleys watched you, did you have a special code to communicate with each other?

"Come in" You gave way to them closing the door behind you and sealing it with an unknown spell. Bill waited for you at the threshold as his family was already making their way to the table where a very well dressed Tim Grant was waiting for them sitting in the main chair. Bill looked at him from his position, shaking “We still have time to run away” you joked “If you're not ready...”

“I am," he said confidently.

“Okay”

You both walked toward the dining room. Tim was greeting the rest of the family enthusiastically. Bill sighed. At least Tim seemed to get along with his parents, so that was good. They all filled a seat, with Tim occupying the head and Arthur the opposite end; Molly sat on Tim's right side and you sat on Mr. Weasley's right side. The twins, Ron, Harry and Ginny took the middle seats leaving Bill the only vacant spot on Tim's left side. Bill took a breath before taking the seat and receiving a curious look from the man.

“Ah, how wonderful is to have more people to fill the empty spaces! A table this big doesn't serve any purpose unless it's fully occupied, does it? That's what I always say!”

“Don't you usually get many visitors?” asked Molly, breaking the ice. Bill felt sweat trickle down his back. Tim guffawed, patting the back of Molly's hand on the table.

“I’m afraid so. I think that is cause I'm the only one crazy enough to live near an active volcano and my family's fame doesn't help me much either, I'm generally a lonely man. Most of the time it's frustrating, but I can deal with it. You are a big family from i can see, are they all yours, Arthur?”

“Only the redheads," he replied. You recognized in his tone of voice a slight pride “The other one is...”

“Harry Potter” Tim Grant's eyes sparkled with recognition. He looked at Harry with a smile, bowing his head to him in respect. Harry did the same “I know him. He's the guy who's been giving my brother headaches”

Tim's laughter echoed through the house being followed by the twins and you cleared your throat to get his attention. Tim spotted you from across the table waving his hand dismissively.

“Grandpa, please”

“A little joke to lighten the mood, my dear, oh, are these for me?” he questioned, bringing closer the baskets offered by the Weasleys resting on the table. Bill's basket was in front of him waiting to be properly delivered, so he stood up and did as he should. Tim Grant gladly received it, complimenting the selection they had made “What a cute boy, did you see him, dear,? he's gone red!”

You let out a chuckle, nodding at your grandfather's words. Bill's face was flushed as he returned to his spot and looked down at his hands. Tim guffawed again and banged the table.

“I appreciate the gifts, Arthur, I've never been part of a tradition like this before”

“It was important for my son and the rest of us to do it, to introduce ourselves properly”

“Sure! It's what a family with honor does. I'm not surprised. No, not at all. The Weasleys were in the book of the sacred twenty-eight for a long time until they were struck off the list. Tell me, that was quite a blow, wasn't it?”

“Not so much, my family has never cared about that sort of thing”

“Of course! It never did, I could see it up close. Did you know I was friends with your grandmother, Lysandra Yaxley?”

Arthur's eyes widened.

“Really?”

“Really. My family also once belonged to the most important pureblood families until I was born, of course. Lysandra and I became friends because her family also got kicked off the list when Cedrella, your mother, married your father Septimus Weasley. Even your grandfather Arcturus was removed from the Black family tree which was an embarrassment for him being that the ancestral Black family is too proud and such. Anyway, that's part of life, right? Creating new families, bringing people together...”

“Was your family always purebloods?” Fred asked. Tim shook his head

“It was. As I mentioned, before I made my appearance in this world”

“Why?”

Tim was suddenly silent. You scanned your grandfather's face waiting for an answer. Dinner plates flew in from the kitchen and positioned themselves at each guest's place setting while a huge chocolate fountain was set up in the center accompanied by a plate overflowing with assorted fruit. The baskets took a turn and took a place on your grandpa's shelves. Tim sighed, looking at the Weasleys asking to begin dinner.

“I’m the son of a witch, but not of a pure blood wizard”

“Don't you and Lord Voldemort share the same father?”

“Harry...”

”It's all right, Molly, I can answer that” Tim rubbed his chin, thinking “I understand your concern boy, being hide here doesn't make me ignorant to what's going on out there and I know better than anyone what you're going through. You need weapons against my brother and you do well. Tom is a big threat, a very big threat indeed. You're right, Tom and I don't share a father, but that doesn't make him any less my brother.

“I think we're straying from the subject that brought us here” mentioned Arthur feeling a sudden warmth. You supported him, but Tim continued to speak

“I was the son of Merope Gaunt and Aleister Grant. My father was a famous son, grandson and great-grandson of brilliant alchemists, and unsurprisingly he was one himself. Merope Gaunt was...  a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin and a Parselmouth. She had a brother named Morfin and my grandfather was Sorvolo Gaunt. My parents met when the Gaunts had just moved to Little Hangleton after their exile and needed a place to stay. They became the owners of a squalor ridden shack on the edge of town and well, my father was a young alchemist who lived near the Gaunt abode”

You sipped from your wine glass as you listened to your grandfather speak. Never, even with the rest of the family, had he ever struck such a chord as he was doing with the Weasleys. The truth was that you didn't understand why he was telling them all that, however, you weren’t interested in interrupting the story as you knew your grandfather had a purpose with him.

“Those of us who are dedicated to alchemy have never enjoyed an enviable reputation because our transmutation abilities are mostly underestimated by the things that magic in general can produce and it makes a science like alchemy reserved for muggles in their attempt to approach the power that the wizards possess. Personally I think there is something right about that, precisely cause the transmutation in the Muggle world is divided into subjects they taught in schools like chemistry or physics, but alchemy goes beyond that, it’s a connection between the wizard and the spirituality that each one possesses...” the man's gaze was lost in a place at the table, pausing the story. Harry settled back on the seat waiting for him to continue “But it's very difficult to erase the deep-rooted ideas about it, so the best is ignore that and continue doing what we believe is right. Anyway, ah! I got off topic, didn't I? Okay, okay, well my parents ended up meeting and my father fell in love with my mother as fast as my socks get cold at night, but that infatuation wasn’t well regarded by my uncle and even less by my grandfather, of course, for the fame of the alchemists at the time”

“So what happened?” you asked. Tim smiled at you, taking a bite of the rye bread on his plate.

“My mother was treated worse than a house- elf by her father and Morfin, so she decided to run away with my father to France where he had several alchemist friends who could protect them. The Gaunts might have been exiled, but they were still dangerous and to be honest I think my father was terribly afraid of uncle Morfin. They eventually made it to France, but they encountered an infamous muggle who tried to hurt my mother”

Everyone stopped eating to pay attention to Tim as he drank his third glass of wine. You thought that your grandfather wouldn't even be able to stand up by the end of the night.

“He was known as Gilles De Rais. He was a sadistic muggle who tried to become a wizard even though he wasn't born a wizard and used my father to tell him secrets of alchemy. One night they were having a conversation when my father revealed him that there were certain amounts of gold in people's bodies. Gold is a very valuable component, as you already know, so the man's greed didn’t take long to show itself and he questioned my dad how it could be obtained. My father told him that the only way to obtain the gold was by draining the blood and dividing it with a very complicated procedure, however, the gold of an ordinary adult was quite scarce. The real wealth was in the blood of children of no more than ten years old because they possessed a great amount of gold and other components that could be transmuted into riches. The muggle did so, and when he learned that my mother was a real witch, he wanted to know if golden blood ran through her veins, which would make him richer than he already was. My father refused, and decided to leave the place before he hurt us, because they knew she was already pregnant. The muggle went mad and unleashed in him a fury that spread throughout France”

The Weasley twins chorused an astonished murmur as the others moved up to the table so as not to miss a word of the story. You sent a glance at Bill as he hadn't stopped sweating and going over his words all evening.

"They wanted to go back to Little Hangleton but my uncle and grandfather were still in a rage waiting to see them arrive, so my father sent my mother alone while he found another place to stay as he could not expose her to the cold streets of France while on standby, so they had no choice but to leave her with her family avoiding revealing my existence to them. Uncle Morfin didn’t want my mother back, but my grandfather convinced him because they needed someone to take care of the house and their needs. Time passed, my father didn’t come back and I was born in the garden of the house while my mother watered the plants”

“My birth was a surprise to everyone because my mother knew how to hide me well until my father's arrival but, as that didn't happen, I couldn't stand it any longer and made my triumphant appearance on my grandfather's favorite bushes. Uncle Morfin was furious and even tried to get rid of me immediately, but my mother clung to me like a lioness.

“Really?”

“Really," he replied with a broad smile, "I think a part of her was still holding on to my father showing up at some point and getting us out of there, but again that didn't happen. Mom had to endure her brother and father's abuse for me and that's a debt I can never repay”

The whole table fell silent, thinking. Dinner continued as a heavy thunderstorm rumbled overhead, accompanying old Tim Grant's story as if it were yesterday. The man paused to eat and the others did the same with no desire to miss a word. Harry's eyes sparkled in wonder and Mr. Weasley's strong hand on yours helped to soothe your fervent anguish.

“I guess that's what mothers do, isn't it? Anyway, the years passed and I had to live under uncle Morfin's shadow and at the mercy of his growing wrath. When I turned five I started helping the market men with their chores in exchange for a couple of pounds which we had to exchange later for galleons and sickles to survive for two weeks. Mom helped bring money into the house, but it wasn't enough. Then, at seven, the Dream Messengers showed up one night telling me I was required to study at the Uagadou magical college in Africa so I couldn't refuse”

“Wait, Uagadou takes students from the age of seven?”

“Oh I see," the man settled back in his chair, wiping the corners of his lips with a napkin as he stared at Ron, "I forgot that the rest of the magical schools aren't very well known around here, are they? Well, yes, some schools take in very young students as is the case with Uagadou or the Japanese school. It depends a lot on the traditions in each region i guess, because in the African school they select only descendants of alchemists or who have had at least someone  in their bloodline whose spirituality helped them to become one. It wasn't all as easy as that, of course, because each student had to pass a test before having a permanent stay, but....

“What kind of test?” Harry questioned when dinner was over and they start dessert. The twins were the first to help themselves a piece of fruit, playing with the chocolate fountain in the center of the table.

“One that only wizards with alchemist ancestry could pass, Mr. Potter. I passed the test so I had no choice but to move to the castle immediately. I didn't want to leave my mother alone, but she convinced me to do it. Going to Uagadou was a great opportunity for me and for her cause it meant I could follow in my father's footsteps” Tim's face suddenly darkened as he pushed away the overflowing plate of fruit Molly offered him. He folded his hands on the table and thought for a long moment. The twins continued to play with the chocolate fountain but a fierce look from their mother made them stop. Then Tim Grant sighed, wiping the sweat from his brow with the handkerchief on his coat “I regret that decision to this day. I could have gone to Hogwarts like any other wizard, but I suppose my ambition got the better of me. Maybe... if I hadn't left Little Hangleton she never would have met Tom Riddle”

You tensed as you felt the pressure of Mr. Weasley's hand on yours a little too tightly. One glance at the others was enough to understand the dread the name struck their nerves. You even caught a glimpse of the hiss on Molly's lips and saw the sting in Harry's scar. Tim let out a chuckle, taking another drink from his wine glass.

“My brother’s father. I didn't hear from him until a couple of years later, when my mother wrote to me saying that uncle Morfin was in Azkaban and that my grandfather had died. She didn't give me many details, however, she did very vaguely mention the presence of a muggle who was quite striking to her. For better or worse, my mother was already forgetting my father, believing that he had abandoned her or, at worst, that he had dropped dead somewhere in France. I didn't believe the same, but it was logical that she got tired of waiting. I would never have grown tired, at least not having loved the way they did”

Your gaze rolled to meet Bill's eyes as he looked back at you. He smiled at you, causing you to blush. Then you both looked back at your grandpa who was sipping a new glass of wine.

“It was a couple more years before I stopped hearing from my family. Mom never wrote again and with uncle Morfin in Azkaban there was nothing that could be done. When I was eleven i returned to Little Hangleton only to find that my mother had married Tom Riddle, got pregnant and he had thrown her out on the street like a dog. She was left with nothing, unable to return to her father’s old house, and was forced to wander in the streets for months, until one rainy december night she went into labor in the middle of an alley. I helped her as much as I could, dragged her to the door of an orphanage where my mother no longer even had the strength to save the three of us. She had her wand in her hand, but she never used it. She gave up in front of me, the baby was born and asked me to name him after his father. She put him in my arms, the door of the orphanage opened, but mother had already died”

“Grandpa-”

“As you can understand, it's kind of hard for me to remember all that," Tim Grant's reddened eyes closed, choking back tears, "I was just a little kid taking care of a baby and I didn't do my best job of raising him. I was upset with my mother for a long time after she died, but I don't judge her now. After living an almost totally miserable life, my mother had no hope and not enough courage to make her want to keep trying, even for the sake of her newborn son. That decision had a considerably negative impact on Tom's psyche as he was growing up I suppose cause I had to go back to school and I couldn't take him with me, I would have! Of course I would have. I tried, but Tom wasn’t descended from any alchemist and there was nothing I could do about that. I tried, Merlin knows I did. I felt the need to leave him in that orphanage. I visited him whenever I could. For a year I went back and forth from continent to continent to see him, but that wasn't enough for Tom to grow up feeling loved. Orphanage life is hard, dear friends, we shouldn’t judge others too harshly, much less a lonely mother” Tim Grant's irritated eyes were fixed on Harry, reflecting deep pain “She was weakened by her long suffering and she never had Lily Evans’ courage. Everyone sacrifices for those they love in different ways, and my mother did it in her own way”

“Why didn't you ever talk about this?” you asked from across the table. Everyone looked at you “when dad asked you so-”

“Your father didn't need any more reasons to support Tom's follies” Tim shook his head “My brother is a very convincing person not only with his family members but with anyone who gets in the way of his plans. He has a very affiliated serpentine tongue, he inherited the gift of gab from our ancestors and your father grew up under his influence”

“We're very sorry for what you had to go through, Tim, but there's nothing that can be done about you-know-who and all that's left for us to do is to fight him”

“I understand, Arthur, but that doesn't stop me from blame myself. I did what I could, but an eleven-year-old can't take the place of his parents. When I graduated from school and wanted to take care of him Tom was already at Hogwarts and completely disappeared from everyone's eye," he lamented, scrunching his eyelids together, "That was the last time I saw him as the real Tom and not the ghastly grayish mass he is now”

The twins and Ron laughed at the comment and were immediately silenced by their father. Tim scrunched up his eyes, took a breath and let out a laugh looking around the room.

“Well, enough whining, that's not what you guys are here for, is it?” Bill, that had kept silent, denied when the man turned to see him, "What's done is done, and lamenting won't do any good, but I hope that what I've just told you will help you to see Tom's human side if he still has it, which I doubt it very much”

“Thank you, sir”

“You're welcome, Harry, dear, well? What was you wanted to tell me, my boy?”

Tim Grant turned his full body towards Bill, almost climbing up on the table fixing his huge opaque eyes on Bill's. Bill held his gaze noticing that the man was drunk since the beginning of the evening. He looked to you for help, but you were too busy watching Mrs. Weasley's reaction to hearing the reason for your visit.

“Come on, boy, don't be shy”

“I... well, I wanted to-”

“Oh, Arthur, your son is so cute!” he shouted as he squeezed Bill's cheeks. His brothers and Harry laughed and even Molly hid a mischievous smile by putting a piece of apricot in her mouth “Poor frightened boy. But, come on! I'm not going to make it harder for you, I know you're here to ask for my granddaughter's hand in marriage, aren't you?”

“Yes, that's right, sir”

“Well, that's a great gesture of you, but this is a job for (Y/N)’s parents”

“It is, but you understand that under such circumstances we couldn't pay a courtesy visit to the Death Eaters," Arthur interjected with an amused smile.

“Indeed”

“So...”.

“So..." repeated Tim. You sighed, "You love my granddaughter?

“Yes, sir”

“How much?”

“A lot”

“Are you going to protect her, take care of her, and love her?”

“With my life, sir”

“Your life is not enough for me, William” Tim smiled at him, tapping Bill's chin with one of his fingers “My granddaughter is still a Grant, descended from very powerful wizards. My hand will not tremble to revenge the suffering you put her through, am i being clear?”

“Y-yes, sir. Crystal clear”

“Good boy," he replied, patting his cheek. Then he turned to Molly, took her hand and kissed the back of it, giving her a beautiful smile. The woman blushed, but it didn't last long because the man turned to her husband and bowed his head in respect. Arthur pressed your hand on the table and also kissed the back of your hand, making a promise “Well, then. Arthur, your son has my blessing to marry my granddaughter”

Mr. Weasley raised his glass, offering it to Tim.

“Thank you, Tim. We promise to take care for (Y/N) as a member of our family”

“I hope so." The man rested his chin on his hands, watching the huge smile form on your lips and kissing Arthur's cheek. He turned to Molly lightly patting her shoulder offering her a sweet roll which she accepted with a giggle “It's nice to see you accepting my (Y/N) so well” Molly wrinkled her nose “Since who she is and coming from a family as complicated as ours...it was hard for me to believe that someone from the outside could fall in love with her someday. I always knew my little girl was different from everyone” Tim's brown irises clouded over. Molly fell silent “You could put her in a basket of rotten apples and she'd make them blossom, so I'm glad to hear you've taken her in as one of yours. Being a Grant is a very complicated task, i never had a problem with people speaking shit about me, i was never ashamed to be recognized as Lord Voldemort's brother, but my yoke should not fall on my granddaughter” Molly Weasley listened carefully “I have always been a faithful supporter of being judged individually and not by the others actions, that would be like punishing children for their parents mistakes, wouldn't it? That wouldn't be fair and it wouldn't make us any less guilty than my brother, isn't that what he’s doing? Punishing Muggle-born wizards just because they weren't born under Merlin's blessing? I like you, Molly, I know you understand.

A pain in her chest made her look down, embarrassed. But then Tim lifted her chin at just the right moment for her to catch the moment her son rose from his place to walk over to you and lock you in a breath-stealing hug. Arthur was at your side watching you and then his attention focused on his wife giving her a beaming smile, the kind she hadn't seen in a long time. Even the rest of their children had joined in the celebration and Harry rose to congratulate you while you and Bill happily sealed your engagement with a kiss. Tim moved Molly's chin towards him, their gazes colliding.

“Yes," Molly whispered, "I understand.

“Good” Tim let out a laugh, pulling away from Molly to toast. The woman watched you as she smiled thinly ”Then my story was useful somehow”

Tag list:

@purple-vodka-99

@vampirestrawberries​

@accio-remus-lupin

@pennyllanne

[iwantthemtostay]

I would like any and all morsels in the "Yeah. Yes." Scene from the royalty au

Thank you!! (I'm so relieved other people are also into "Yeah. Yes." because I was worried people might think it was a copout lol)

I'm pretty sure the idea of them sitting on a couch, Lexi bringing up the what if and him saying they couldn't but then 'yeah. yes.' and holding her hand is the reason I wrote this fic, lol. It would not let me go. Originally it was going to be inside, but then the rooftop garden came to me, and I think the visual for the original inside idea may have been slightly inspired by this Dan/Blair Gossip Girl scene which I only realised on seeing a gif of it recently.

To start with Fez coming up on the roof, he *is* a bit annoyed, but only because he's worried about Lexi as it's very unlike her not to be considerate and tell him what she's doing and then she apologises for that straight away and he has this rush of fondness for how caring she is to everyone.

Lexi remembering him sitting on the rooftop of his grandma's store has the same effect on him as him remembering she only wants her grandma's ring if she's really in love, they're both storing up every piece of information they learn about each other like little treasures not realising the other is doing the same

"Ion have so much, uh, bare skin." In the beginning of the fic Fez doesn't use slang around Lexi, he's very careful to speak like what he thinks a royal bodyguard should but as he grows more comfortable around her he starts slipping into it, especially when he is distracted by the fact he's talking about her bare skin (he's more attracted to Lexi in her Lexi clothes but this princess outfit really did it for him)

the stars feeling far away - constant, beautiful, eternal - who doesn't love a star motif? Lexi's ideal love feels far away and out of her grasp despite the fact he's right there

Lexi spilling the champagne was an excuse to get the glove off. I did play around with the idea of them holding hands with her glove on which I think would have maybe added to the forbidden feeling but @idontneedtobeforgiven was like 'they have to hold hands skin on skin' and this way it's more like the scene in the Age Of Innocence film (which I admittedly have not watched in full, I just loved the book and Edith Wharton felt perfect for Lexi's academic interest with all the themes of self-determination and fitting into a rigid way of upper class life)

she must sound like a poor little rich girl. I think Lexi really hates the idea of complaining about her life because she knows she has an insane amount of privilege but... yes she is living in the lap of luxury but it is not making her happy and she's putting a lot of pressure on herself. I think the relationship with Fez is a big source of support for her because he is around so much and is very much not interested in her as a princess or putting extra requests on her

What Cassie said earlier about Lexi liking being a perfect princess is in some ways true because she does want to do this right, but she's also a bit annoyed that she's always the perfectly behaved one so she has her moment where she almost pretends to be drunk so she can say what she wants to say

“Lexi.” It’s something like a plea, something almost pained. He does look away now. “We can’t…” While Lexi has acknowledged she's attracted to Fez to herself I don't think Fez has let himself think about it that way because this is his job and he can't risk a distraction that could put Lexi in danger. But when she asks him and asks him to imagine a different world of course he would? And he can't manage any more than "Yeah. Yes." because that would be to give away too much but the firmness of the Yes as opposed to just a Yeah which is sort of dreamy and tentative is very deliberate as he needs her to know that he would be interested in being with her in a world where he could be. The leaving his hand for her to hold is sort of to back this up and as a reassurance, but he doesn't want to take that step for her

A firework goes off in the distance and Fez stays and holds her hand. They've had their own metaphorical firework, and him staying is significant after her little Peyton Sawyer moment and also because he has had a lot of people leave and Lexi's own decisions to stay or leave are going to be a big part of the fic

fanfic writers: director's cut

[written-by-ariddletobesolved]

little prince.

For Helsa Week 2021, Day 1: Parenthood ♥️ @helsaweekmasterlist

Excerpt. It was a perfect day for him and his little family, just the three of them, together, and he couldn't ask for something more perfect than this precious moment.

Rating: G • Word Count: 1,355

The fic will soon be posted on AO3 and FFnet as per usual. It's already day 2, where I live, but nah, let me post this now cause I fell asleep and it's still 19 April somewhere in the globe. Also, the prequel of this fic will be posted soon cause it fits the prompt (Soulmates) so please stay tuned. Hope you like it! 💕

—

Hans knew this day would arrive, yet no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he would be fine, it was still something he dreaded most. He wasn't ready for such a responsibility, then he recalled his mother's words from the last letter: who ever is ready?

The Prince Consort had just adjourned a Council meeting and was on his way to pick up some flowers for his wife, when he saw Kai, the Queen's advisor, quickly walked towards him. A tall servant, dressed in her usual day uniform in Arendelle's signature colour, was trailing after the advisor. Hans flashed them a smile, which turned into a slight frown as he noticed the look of panic and shock on their faces.

"Your Highness." Kai and the servant bowed.

"Is there anything you'd like to say, Kai?" Hans raised an eyebrow.

Kai took a deep breath, as if he was trying to compose himself, before he spoke, "It's the Queen."

As soon as he heard those words, Hans began to think of the worst. What happened to Elsa? Are they going to be okay? Goodness, he could only wonder and hope for the best.

"Did something happen to her?"

"The Queen is in labour, Sir," the tall servant replied.

The news gave him heart palpitations, and he was too stunned to move. "Already? But the doctor said the baby wouldn't be due until the end of the month."

"Apparently, there's still a chance that the baby would be due sooner," Kai added, then made a gesture to let him walk first.

"Has the doctor been called?"

The advisor replied from beside him, "Yes, Sir. He is already there with the Queen."

"What about the Princess?"

The auburn haired Prince could only imagine the look of shock on his sister in law's face when she realised she might miss the birth of her nephew or niece. He wondered if she and Kristoff would cut their honeymoon short once they received the news.

"We've already sent a messenger to the inn they're staying in."

Hans nodded. "Thank you, Kai."

With every step he took towards their chamber, Hans couldn't help but worry. His soulmate, the love of his life, was looking radiant and well that morning. He didn't even hear any complaints from her about any pain, or how their baby kept her up all night. Then again, Elsa rarely complained and mostly kept everything to herself. Having been trained all her life to conceal her powers, it was a lesson that became a habit and stayed with her. 

Stopping before a white wooden double door with various patterns, he then grabbed the handle, before one of the servants stopped him.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but you're not allowed in."

"I'm the husband of the Queen, I have every right to be there," he stated firmly, masking his nerves behind the shades.

Not waiting for an approval, he pushed the door open. The moment he stepped in, Hans was greeted by the sight of his wife lying on the bed, back propped up by a few pillows and cushions behind her. He caught her weak smile, almost immediately, and it still bore the same warmth, despite the fact that she must be in so much pain.

"Elsa!"

In a brief second, Hans was already on his wife's side, holding her hand. He pressed a gentle kiss on her temple, then murmured some sweet nothings to her ear. From the look on her face and her ragged breathing, he could tell she was as nervous as he was. 

The elegant Queen of ice and snow, who usually concealed her emotions well from the world, was now looking disheveled and undone. Her platinum blonde hair was unkempt, sweats rolling down her forehead, and she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. Elsa allowed him to embrace her, as she turned to rest her head against his shoulder.

"Hans, what if," she paused, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Once she finally calmed down, she gazed into his emerald eyes, her free hand resting on her belly. "If something goes wrong—"

"Oh, please don't say that." Hans furrowed his eyebrows, not liking where the conversation might be heading to. "We have talked about this, Elsa."

"Yes, we have. But promise me, if it goes wrong and I can't make it, promise me that you will take care of our child and make sure they are loved." She choked back a sob. "Don't make the same mistake as our parents."

He knew the risks of childbirth. He had witnessed how one of his brothers slowly sank into madness after both his wife and their unborn child passed away. The past few months, the image had been haunting him until he picked up a pen and wrote to his mother back home, which was so out of character for him. But he didn't want to bother Elsa with his thoughts and fears, for she already had enough things on her plate. 

He held her cerulean gaze with honesty and love. Her soulmate. The one who had kept him grounded. The one who had conquered her own fears. Now she looked so scared. Although Hans knew she was a strong woman and what she was capable of, he understood her. What she needed at the moment was a reassurance.

"Elsa, hey," he gently called her, brushing back her hair and tucked it behind her ear. "I promise." Pressing languid kisses on her cheek, he came to rest his hand atop her hand that was resting on her belly. 

"It'll be alright, darling. You are strong, and you can do this, okay?"

Elsa nodded, blinking back the tears furiously. She tried to catch her breath, gripping his hand tightly. Her palm felt cold in his grasp, and Hans could only imagine how she was feeling.

"I will be here, holding you. We will get through this together, yeah?" He murmured. Nuzzling her hair, he murmured softly, "I got you, Elsa."

If only everything was easy and full of certainty.

—

The quietude felt so strange for them. After hours of constant screaming and crying in pain, the silence that was currently engulfing them almost felt too loud, but the Queen and the Prince Consort found it rather peaceful.

Hans sat on the bed with his back resting against the headrest. Smiling, He watched as the small bundle of joy fell asleep on his mother's chest. The small fingers curled in front of his face, and Hans couldn't help but observe his face closely. He beamed when he realised that his son inherited Westergaard's nose and hair colour.

His son. Their little prince.

Warmth filled his chest at that thought. It almost felt like a dream for him, how his world had changed so quickly. Two years ago, he was shipped to Arendelle to seduce the Crown Princess of Arendelle, who turned out to be his soulmate. Little did he know that he would grow to love her, and they would make it work together.

"A penny for your thoughts?" The gentle whisper woke him from his train of thoughts.

He turned to see Elsa smiled, her eyes blinking slowly as if she tried to fight the sleepiness. Leaning in, he captured her lips with his, the taste of her lips lingering for a while.

"I was just thinking about how lucky I am."

"Me too, actually," she said, before yawning.

At that sight, Hans tried to hold back his chuckle, especially when the baby had just fallen asleep.

"Get some sleep, darling." Lying on the bed to hold her, he then pressed another kiss on the top of her head. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"I love you," she murmured, eyes fluttering close.

"I love you too, Elsa." He gushed. "You and our little prince."

It was a perfect day for him and his little family, just the three of them, together. Glancing at the mother and son, his heart was full of happiness and warmth. He couldn't ask for something more perfect than this precious moment.

[youbloodymadgenius]

Min Skat (Ivar x reader)

A/N: This is for @maggiescarborough‘s and @gearhead66‘s birthdays 🎉 The truth is, I wanted to write two different fics but I had problems... As you may know, girls, I was on vacation. And the laptop I took with me was broken... So... I couldn’t write. I got home only 36 hours ago. That’s why I finally decided to write a single story, to share, for both of you. Hope you won’t mind. And since I know you both love fluff, then... fluff it is! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVELY WOMEN 💖 🌷 💖

As usual, thanks to my lifesaver, @inforapound, for beta reading it so quickly 🌻

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Min elskede: my love - Min skat: my treasure

the gif belongs to @ohbelllaciao

Summary: You’re pregnant, childish, cranky, hungry, moody and it’s the middle of the night. How’s Ivar going to react?

Warnings: soft, soft, soft Ivar and a lot of fluff.

Words: 2308

Hands on your lower back in a futile attempt to ease the shooting pain coursing through your spine, you slowly cross the room. The faint moonlight allows you to see that Ivar hasn't moved. Covered by many furs, lying on his side, his eyes are closed, his steady breathing just loud enough to hear. 

 You honestly resent him for sleeping peacefully when you haven't been able to for weeks. There are so many reasons for your sleepless nights: the constant need to empty your bladder, the feeling of choking as soon as you lie down, the midnight cravings, your inability to find a comfortable position in your shared bed, or the frantic kicks from the tiny human growing inside you as soon as you try to rest… You're exhausted. And mildly jealous.

Getting closer, you sink heavily onto the bed, releasing a deep sigh. Ivar immediately moves and groans, annoying you. He should know better and not dare to complain. "Ivar, don't expect me to apologize! I am warning you!" You hiss through clenched teeth, furrowing your brows. "Carry a baby for nine fucking moons and then, maybe, you'll be allowed to say something!"

 Sitting up, he grabs a candle and lights it before shifting next to you. 

 Looking at him, you see his big, sleepy blue eyes staring at you, bewilderment written all over his face. "Min elskede, are you all right? Is there anything I can do?" There's no annoyance or impatience in his voice, and his gentleness stirs you up. You love him so much… Forgotten, your previous anger is replaced by an emotional roller-coaster bringing tears to your eyes. 

 Since you don't answer, he gets closer to you, squeezing both your hands in one of his. "Y/N, min elskede, why did you get up? Tell me please."

Using his free hand, he gently fixes a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

 "I don't know…" Shrugging your shoulders, you try to explain. "I had… I was too hot. And then I had to… pee…" You blush. "And now I wish I'd grab something to eat. I'm hungry. And I'm cold." Snuggling into his arms, you can't help but pout. 

 Smiling at you, he kisses softly the tip of your nose before speaking firmly, grabbing and patting a fluffy pillow. "I'll take care of everything. Lie down, min elskede." You're too exhausted to fight back and just do as you're told. Rewarded by a soft kiss on your forehead, Ivar folds several furs onto you and you give him a little smile.

 You watch him as he throws himself onto the floor and starts crawling. The glorious sight of his nacked, chiseled chest is mesmerizing and painfully appealing. If you weren't so pregnant, you'd probably jump on him for a long and passionate lovemaking session. But here you are, huge and so weary that the simple thought of moving again exhausts you. Frustrated, you close your eyes, sighing heavily. 

 "I'll be right back, min elskede." Stopping at the doorway, Ivar gives you a last comforting smile and then disappears. You do know he'll come back with everything you could wish for, and undoubtedly more. 

 From the very beginning, Ivar has always been different around you. Nicer to you than to other people. Less prone to anger. You know it's because of the way you acted when you first met him. That night, for the first time in his life, he had been treated first as a human being, and not as a cripple. 

   He'd traveled all the way to Vestfold to ask your uncle, King Harald, for his support in his war against Lagertha. You, the illegitimate daughter of Halfdan the Black, the king's brother, lived most of the time further north with your mother, who had only been a one-night stand to your father. But once or twice a year, Harald invited you to Vestfold, usually for his own benefit.

 That time, the king had asked you – urged you – to seduce Ivar the Boneless, in order to strengthen their alliance. You didn't like being treated like a courtesan and had locked yourself in your room. It had taken all your father's forcefulness to convince you to come out. When you had eventually entered the hall, the feast in honor of the youngest Ragnarsson was in full swing. Dressed in a beautiful burgundy red dress offered to you by King Harald, you had caught everyone's attention but only had eyes for your uncle's special guest. Immediately captivated by his perfect facial features, you had felt as if you were drowning in his unimaginably blue eyes as soon you had looked into them, your heart skipping a beat. 

 Sitting next to your uncle, the chair to his left was free, reserved for you according to your father's words. Taking your seat nervously, you had wondered if he could hear the frantic heartbeat in your chest.  

 From that moment on, it was just the two of you. You weren't even sure the world kept spinning. For hours, Ivar and you had been talking, smiling at each other, his hand grabbing yours under the table, your fingers stroking his knuckles. 

You soon had realized that Ivar's reputation – a selfish, bloodthirsty and ruthless prince – only reflected part of the man he was: outstandingly intelligent, curious about everything, funny, smart and clever. He had asked you a lot of questions, wanted to know everything about you. You had told him about your village, about your mother's people, the Sami, and their peculiar customs. He had listened carefully, often asking you to clarify some details. He had been more reluctant to talk about his life, claiming that yours was much more exciting than his own, made of wars and blood. 

 When your completely drunk uncle had ended the feast, Ivar had put his hand on your forearm, tentatively offering to see you again the next day. Much to his surprise, you had agreed right away, a wide smile lighting up your face. And then a frown had crossed his face as he had lowered his head. "Y/N, I… There's something you need to know… "The panic was written all over his face. "I'm… not like everyone else." Swallowing, he had kept his head down.

 Of course he wasn't. He was different. He had won your heart in a matter of hours. What was the problem? Then, realization had hit you. Of course. Speaking softly, you had grabbed his hand. "I know absolutely everything I need to know about you, Ivar."

 Releasing a shaky breath, Ivar had shook his head. "No, you don't. You wouldn't have agreed to meet me again if you did. You wouldn't have agreed if you knew that I'm a cr—" Shushing him, one finger on his lips, one hand on his chin, you had forced him to look at you. "Ivar, I know your legs don't work. I knew all along. I knew when I sat next to you." He was bewildered and speechless. Shrugging, you had explained. "I don't care if you can't walk, Ivar, it doesn't matter. What matters though, it's what's there,” your hand had briefly grazed his chest, you had pointed at his heart, "and there,”  your index finger had  brushed his forehead as you had smiled once again. "So yes, I definitely want to meet you tomorrow." And then, your lips had audaciously found his, leaving him astounded.  

 You were already utterly in love. And so was he. That night, you spoke with your heart and Ivar believed you. And more importantly, from that night on, he trusted you, allowing himself to be soft and caring when it was just the two of you.  

  Abandoned to your memories, you sigh lovingly. Gods, this man is your everything and you love being the one with whom he's his true self. You know him like no one else does. And you see him for who he is. Not a king, not a cripple. Just a man; your man. Often stubborn, sometimes hot-tempered but always and unwaveringly loving. 

 Since you are with child, Ivar takes even greater care of you, his unexpected yet unfailing patience both surprizing and delighting you. Whether you're screaming, crying or sulking, he's always there, smiling, cheering you up, whatever the time of day or night. And no matter what you ask, he's always trying to meet all your needs, making a point of doing everything on his own. 

 Every night, since your first cravings many months ago, he brings you something to eat.

 Every day, he massages your tense shoulders and your aching back, and then rubs your swollen legs. 

 At all times, he wordlessly endures your mood swings and tantrums. 

 Every morning, he helps you get dressed before braiding your hair while whispering words of love for only you to hear. 

 And every day, you feel guilty.

 Since you're pregnant, you're not yourself. Most of the time you can't help it, but sometimes you realize what you're doing and blame yourself for treating your husband so poorly. 

 "Min elskede!" His voice pulls you out of your thoughts. 

 Pushing a heavy wooden tray in front of him, Ivar carefully crawls his way back.  From where you are, you can see on the tray two bowls and one plate, all full of delicacies. 

 When he's close enough, Ivar hands you the tray before pulling himself up on the bed, taking a seat right next to you. Helping you sit up, he places a large cushion behind your back, his knuckles grazing your cheek while his lips briefly find yours. 

 Looking down, you stare in wonder at what Ivar brought you. Once again, he thought of everything: various dried meats, goat cheese, those blueberries you love so much and those pickled herrings you usually hate but are mad about since you are with child. 

 Suddenly feeling self-conscious, you let out an embarrassed laugh. "Ivar, I don't deserve this…" Blinking a few times, you grab his hand. "I don't deserve you."

 He shakes his head, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "Min elskede, you made me a man, then a husband." He tenderly puts his free hand on your huge belly. "And soon, I'll become a father. It's more than I could have hoped for. Of course you deserve this. You deserve even more than this." Before you can say anything, Ivar pops a blueberry in your mouth. 

 Patiently waiting for you to finish eating, Ivar keeps a soothing hand over your shoulders, absentmindedly massaging them while pecking you on the cheek. As soon as you finish, he puts the tray on the nightstand, nodding appreciatively as he sees the cleared plates. 

 "Min elskede, it's far from dawn, you should try to get back to sleep." You nod getting lost in a yawn and lay down, rolling on your side with effort. Ivar lays down as well, facing you, his right hand brushing your belly.  

 "I love you, Ivar, I love you so much. You're a wonderful husband and you're going to be an amazing father." Sighing, you close your eyes for an instant. "You'll be a much better father than yours or mine ever was." Your voice is shaky and you can see uncertainty on Ivar's face.

 "I'll try, Y/N, I'll try really hard. I can promise that I'll do my best." His breath hitches as he grabs your hand, squeezing it. "But tell me… Tell me again…" He stops, eyes clearly watering. Swallowing, he winces before taking a deep breath. "Tell me… What are we going to do if the baby is… like me?"

 That's his greatest fear. You know your husband is terrified. The thought of him passing his condition – his curse, as he says – on to your kid gives him nightmares. Since you have been with child, he's done everything he can not to bother you with it. Yet, the closer it gets, the less he manages to hide his worries.

 A hand on his cheek, you give him a reassuring smile. "If the baby is like you, my king, we'll love them just as much. We'll be there for them at every step, and you can teach them everything you had to find out on your own. If the baby is like you, it will be their strength and we'll help them to make the most of it. And I promise you, Ivar, growing up, this child will have everything you didn’t." Eyes bathed in tears, Ivar sniffles as you grasp his hand, firmly putting it back on your belly. "However, because of those vigorous kicks…,” Ivar almost jumps, wide-eyed, as he feels something hitting his hand and you stifle a laugh, "… I strongly believe their legs will be perfectly healthy."

 Closing his eyes, Ivar enjoys feeling the blows against his palm, but frowns as you hiss in pain, one of them reaching your ribcage. 

 Sitting upright and adjusting his legs, he takes the fur off, tossing it to the side before pushing your nightgown up. He gently presses his hand on your belly, his fingers freely running over your skin, before lowering his head. "Min skat, I know you can't wait to see the world, and the truth is, I can't wait to meet you. But for now, please, let your beautiful mother sleep." Whether it's Ivar's voice, or his touch, it works and you can feel your baby calm down. Ivar inhales deeply. "My father once told me that happiness was nothing. He couldn't be more wrong. Your mother made me a happy man, which I thought was impossible. She and I, together, will teach you love and happiness…"

 As you struggle to hold back your tears, Ivar peppers light kisses all over your belly. "Go to sleep, baby…" He whispers… "Sleep, min skat."

 🛡⚔️🛡

@honestsycrets @lisinfleur @waiting4inspiration @saldelys @gearhead66 @readsalot73 @maggiescarborough @a-mess-of-fandoms @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @milkkygirls @ivarthebloodyking​ @fuckindiva​ @tgrrose​ @shannygoatgruff​ @xbellaxcarolinax​ @didiintheblog​ @zuxiezendler​

[yzkhr]

Third installment of the Love Language Miniseries

It might be OOC so please bear with me

Dedicated to the one who gave me this wonderful yet painful series idea @meitanteisachi!

-

Words of Affirmation- You get a thrill from receiving compliments and unexpected praise. You like it when others say they care about you or appreciate having you in their lives. You love feeling understood and receiving recognition for a job well done.

Shinichi trusts Ran a lot. But having a recent 'misunderstanding' along with being busy with his detective work and texting an apology yet receiving a slur of misspelled sentences with only the words 'Sonoko' and the name of a specific bar being decipherable, he can't help but worry and overthink.

(The name 'Kazuha' was readable as well and it did lessen his panic, but the reassurance he felt was nothing compared to Sonoko and her constant tricks that worsened when they became adults.)

Reaching the said bar on Rans' text message, he rushes inside and immediately dislikes the smell of mixed alcohols and smoke everywhere. Face indifferent, he passes through the dancing crowd and went straight to where he deduces his girlfriend to be.

Knowing Ran, she's not someone to go wild in such a tight place, nor does she appreciate the smell of cigarettes all over the dance floor. She would be somewhere comfortable and quiet enough to converse with Sonoko and Kazuha. Shinichi can't think of a better spot than the bartenders' counter.

And he was right.

There she was, in the middle of a familiar drinking blonde on her left and a brown haired woman on her right, reclined in her stool and mouthing words to her left side. Despite her back being the only thing he can see from where he's standing, he recognized it in an instant, having been familiar from the sight since childhood (her iconic hairstyle also helped).

Walking a little closer to be heard and putting his hands into his pockets, he calls out. "Ran."

The girls, save from the gulping heiress who ignores him, turns around and express the same visage upon seeing him. Rans' expression instantly change however, as her wide eyes and agape mouth closes and curls up into a smile.

"Shinichi!"

She stands up from her seat and walks over to him in an odd unbalanced manner. On a closer inspection, Shinichi noticed how her cheeks flushed a rather more healthy red than normal.

Raising an eyebrow, he opens his mouth to scold but his prepared reprimands die on his throat as Ran hugs him instead of just standing in front of him, her slender hands wrapped around his neck slowly, her feet tiptoeing as she concluded she wasn't tall enough to reach Shinichis' height.

He instinctively backs away from the unexpected warmth and weight, flustered and confused. Ran didn't even gave him the time to recover, leaning her head into the crook of his neck and sniffing it as he felt her sigh, successfully making his mind blank.

"You smell nice." she whispers, letting out a giggle as if entertained at her out of nowhere compliment while he stands there, frozen and left with no words to respond. Even after five years of being together, her effect on him stays consistent and powerful, similar to their first meeting.

Fortunately, he was brought out of his reverie by a familiar—not in a good way— smell of rum mixed into her natural sweet odor. From that, everything clicked. Her red face, wobbly walking and unexpected behavior finally made sense to him.

"You're drunk." he deduces as he looks down at his girlfriend who avoided eye contact by looking sideways and pouting, confirming her guilty.

"Sorry Kudo-kun," he redirects his gaze at the source of the voice, finding an apologetic Tooyama Kazuha. " We're the ones that invited her here and as you can see," her eyes went to Ran briefly before going back to him and continues sheepishly, "We kinda got carried away."

He expected the answer. After all, Ran rarely drinks, much less get drunk. She'd only really go all out when there's an important celebration or a really big problem, like a certain misunderstanding that may or may have not happened between the two of them.

"It's fine." he acquits as his eyes looks at anywhere but Kazuhas' green ones, unsure of how to ask. "Umm, did Ran told you anything concerning? Like if there's a huge problem or something?"

The Osakan woman's eyes widened and suspiciously travelled to Ran as if asking for permission, who in return tightened her grip around his neck to bring him down a little. Kazuha now seems to have an answer, glancing back at him.

"Nope, Ran-chan said nothing like that at all." with the way she puts up a tight lipped smile, it was obvious she was lying. "Besides, if there is an issue like that, why don't you ask her? I'm sure she'd tell you."

He wants to disagree, being aware of Rans' nature to he very considerate that she might dismiss the topic. But Shinichi really isn't fond of the idea of pressuring his bestfriends' girlfriend, so he didn't say anything. Besides, Kazuha was right, if there was anyone to ask about what is wrong, it would be his girlfriend.

"Yeah, you're right." he laughs and attempts to change the topic, not wanting to make the atmosphere awkward. "Anyways, it's pretty late. Want me to take you guys home?"

The brunette shakes her head and looks from behind. Shinichi follows her gaze, only to find Sonoko still on the counter and talking to someone on the phone. Her voice is so loud that it can mildly be heard from where they're standing.

"No thanks, it seems Sonoko-chan is already calling Makoto-kun to pick her up."

"It seems so," he now looks back to her. "How about you?"

"No need," she pulls out her phone, showing him her private chat with Hattori. "The ahou already texted he's on his way."

"And besides," Kazuha sends him a teasing look and an amused smile. "Even if we didn't have our boyfriends picking us up, you'll still get your hands full."

As if on cue, Shinichi was reminded of his girlfriend who's still clinging on to him, her constant breathing on his ear enough to make him go red, as if he's the one intoxicated.

He silently agrees to Kazuhas' statement.

-

Ran insists on walking home instead of getting a taxi. He protested but after being presented with the same adorable pleading look she always used on him back when he was Conan;wide eyes, pouty lips, and blushing cheeks, he was really left with no choice.

Now, they tread across the empty streets of Beika with the moon illuminating the area, Shinichi makes sure that his girlfriend doesn't trip from her quivering steps, choosing to carry her on his back, her arms hanging loosely around his neck while his hand secured on her thighs, assuring of no fall. The night serves peaceful, accompanied by a comfortable silence.

Until he decided to break it.

"Hey Ran--" he starts, wanting to ask her about the 'problem' he wasn't sure they're having, but was cut off by her instead.

"Ne, Shinichi?" her voice is a bit slurred but with his proximity, he heard it just fine. She seemed to have timed it when he decided to speak, deliberately avoid the questioning from him, concluding that something is wrong. He wanted to ignore her distraction and push further, but with Rans' current condition, he gives up and lets her get away.

"Hmm?"

"Did it hurt?" he stops walking in confusion at such a sudden question, prompting him to face her as she wears an innocent smile.

"What hurt?" he asks, not getting the point. It took him a few seconds to catch on to what her 'innocent smile' and question means, and he isn't exactly happy at the conclusion he got.

"Please no," he exclaims as she looks at him expectantly, really wanting to continue. he complains. "Isn't this supposed to be the other way around?"

A glare is all it took for him to know she's not giving up. However, Shinichi isn't going to comply so easily either.

"Let me guess, when I fell from heaven?" he teases her, ahead of the supposed pick up line she's about to say.

Instead of being angry however, Rans' smile widens more than before, not looking as innocent. "No."

Eyebrows furrowing in confusion he asks, "What?"

"When you fell for me."

He stares in disbelief. He had never expected such a cheesy pick up line to be even more cheesier than it already is and it honestly impresses him(in a bad way). Meanwhile, Ran looks way too proud of herself, a huge grin plastered on her face.

"Okay, you win." he states rather dejectedly and continues walking, wishing his surrender to be the end of her drunk flirting.

If he were to be completely honest, Shinichi somewhat expected Ran to do something crazy and uncharacteristic, since it isn't the first time for her to be this intoxicated. The last time, she sang random songs with the most intangible lyrics he had ever heard, her drunk singing voice comparable to his normal one. This time it's the same, only now it's sappy pick up lines instead of crappy lyrics( he isn't sure which one is worse).

"Shinichi," she starts again, and it was cue for Shinichi to pick up his pace to get home faster, and he did. But Ran is stubborn. She calls his name on repeat way too many times, that he has to stop and finally decides to listen.

"Alright, let's hear it and quickly take you home to your apartment because I'm already tired of this." he yields, defeated and weary. On the other hand, Rans' expression is the complete opposite, too cheerful and energetic like neon lights on a dark room.

"You know why you're tired?"

"Yeah because of your pick up--"

"Because you've been running through my mind all day long." she breaks into a laugh as he stops functioning, wondering how his girlfriend can be so witty and stupid at the same time whenever she drinks a lot more than usual.

He ponders if Kaito has something to do it. After all, there is no one better and worse at flirting with words than he is. Rans' are tolerable but maybe it's because he loves her so much that he does appreciate them, but they're still pretty bad.

He deadpans at her still cackling form just to express his emotions. "You know, other people will call you an idiot if they know you're doing this."

She pauses, her turn to be confused. "Just other people? What will you call me then?"

"My idiot who's doing this."

Her reaction is instantaneous. Her face blossomed a shade of crimson as she coughs, too taken aback while he tilts inwards, smirking at having to get back at her antics.

"That's not fair!" she whines, throwing daggers at him as she cough a little more.

"You started it." he yawns, the night catching on to him.

He really thought it was the end of it, but Ran always proves him wrong as she started once again. "Yeah, being good looking must be sooo tiring."

He really is impressed at how her mind can processed a mundane action and turn into a bad and cheesy pick up line. But he didn't become friends with the worst flirt in the world for nothing. Clearly not accepting defeat, he decides to play along. "Then you must be exhausted."

Her face turns into a blushing mess either from embarrassment or frustration or maybe even from both.

"Shinichi!"

And that's what they did until they got home. He truly was worried that there was something bothering Ran, but from the way she conversed and flirted with him(even though he's sure it's the alcohol talking), he was confident that if there was a problem, it isn't as bad as he expects it to be.

-

After an hour of throwing trashy jokes at each other, they finally made it to her apartment. He grabs the key he got from her earlier and opens the door, going straight to the sofa to put down his girlfriend.

Ran looks tired, eyes constantly blinking as she takes off her shoes, slower than it's supposed to be. She flops down on the couch, ready to doze off. Making sure she won't fall off, he strides into the kitchen to get some water.

Going back in the living room with a glass, he now finds her sitting instead of her laid down position a minute ago. She's dazed, eyes dead set on the table across as her brows intensely furrow as if trying to figure something out.

"Here you go," he sits down beside her, offering the water. He watches her drink it languidly, attentive to her every move. After finishing and putting it back on the table with a thud, Ran stands up, a hand on her throat.

"What's wrong?" he asks as the panic becomes visible on her visage, eyes roaming everywhere.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," as if on signal, she makes a strained sound while Shinichi rushes her inside the bathroom, certain that Ran won't appreciate walking into her living room with vomit all around it.

Upon reaching the toilet, Shinichi lets her bend over it and finally lets out everything she ate and drank that day as he soothes her back, stroking it back and forth. He also holds her hair up just make sure it doesn't get in the way.

"Are you okay?" he tilts his head in confusion as she turns around now done with her task, eyes watering slightly.

"I'm hungry." he sighs, having predicted it. He isn't the best at cooking, but letting his girl cook for herself while still being a bit visually impaired and losing her self balance every now and then sounds like the worst decision he can make in this situation.

"Fine. I'll make you something." hearing such words, Ran wipes her tears and beams at him. He leads her out of the restroom, leaving her on the couch and heading to the kitchen to cook at least a soup just to quench her hunger.

A few minutes passed and he comes back to a yawning Ran, with a hot and steamy soup laying in his hands. She offers him a drowsy smile, and he gives a knowing one in return.

"Here," he places the bowl on the table in front her and Ran takes it leisurely. She takes a chunk of food and blows at it, in the hopes of lessening the heat. Satisfied, she puts it on her mouth and makes a noise, glancing at him.

"It tastes good!" he chuckles and shakes his head in disapproval. "Thanks but, I'm pretty sure it only taste like that because you're drunk."

He leans in the wall as he watches her consume the soup with gusto, making his heart swell. When Ran finally eats half of it, he speaks out.

"Seriously, what made you drink so much like that?" despite the high chance that she won't answer, he still gives it a try.

After hearing no response, the detective sighs and looks away, deciding to let it slide and thinks that he'll just try again tomorrow.

But it looks like that he doesn't have to.

"It's Shinichi's fault." she said it so casually and quietly, but it didn't get pass his ears. Shock at the fact that she replied and at the specific retort, he looks back and stares at her.

"Eh?"

"It was Sonoko's little dare," she finishes the rest of the food without care and continues, "She told me how you're always so indifferent and said to make you blush or whatever. But, you you were so busy with the case that I didn't even had the chance and just gave up."

He was left dumbfounded. The events three days ago went back to him in a flash. All of Ran's little glances, her stuttering words, and even her hold on him before he left after taking her home finally made sense.

'That Sonoko!' he twitches his eyebrow in annoyance. He really should've seen that coming. If there was anyone this world who could think such an idea, it would be none other than their childhood friend.

He attempts to talk, but she beats him to it.

"But, now that I think about it, I really dont mind Shinichi being busy like that," she's now looking at him, a smile plastered on her blushing face, sign of still being under the influence of the alcohol. "After all, I really love Shinichi's face whenever he solves a case. Shinichi's eyes always lights up, like it's alive and burning. As if seeing a world no one else knows."

"Whenever Shinichi solves a case, he helps a lot of people. And it's amazing to know, that tons of people are alive right now—because of Shinichi." she rambles on, calling his name too many times as if she's only talking to herself, like he isn't standing right there at all to listen.

Her voice, despite being slurred holds honesty in them that didn't make the current condition of his heart any better as he's hearing her compliment him.

"I guess that just means, that I really love Shinichi." she laughs at her own words, finding such a revelation amusing.

Meanwhile, Shinichi stands there having only two things in his mind; that Ran is really drunk, and that he's just glad the dare is over. Because if it wasn't, with the way he feels his face burning right now, he was sure Ran would've absolutely won it.