#like i'll be mean and call him pathetic when i'm trying to not let myself be overly emotional about the fictional man

[bhaalsdeepbat]

sometimes when people describe astarion as pathetic, they'll list all his more feminine characteristics rather than like

it's fucking pathetic of him to be mad if you save the gnomes, even if you understand why he disapproves it. It's still fucking pathetic. he's also extremely pathetic when he ascends and starts becoming more like Caz, but it's bc it's pathetic that the power goes to his head like that simply bc he would rather insulate himself with power than allow himself to face his past and overcome it.

not because he deserves nice things and finery.

[elliespassagerprincess]

house wife reader x mean ellie 👀 ellie works long hours on the weekdays and takes out all of her anger on her docile wife who cooks all her meals, does all of her laundry, cleans the entire house, and make sure ellie’s satisfied 24/7.

Satisfied - (ellie williams x housewife reader)

hi anon! mean ellie? hell yeah. I hope you don't mind, but I added my own twist. I hope you enjoy <3

Pairing: mean ellie x housewife fem!reader

requests are open, feel free to leave one!

HUGE warnings: toxic relationships, murder, gore, violence

Summary: in which you were the perfect housewife

authors note: I'm literally trying to empty out my request inbox, so be ready because there's a bunch of fics coming your way!

"so when last have you seen her?" The police officer asked as he sat across you.

"well she went out yesterday and she never came back"

you saw him look at you and Ellie's house as he was taking notes.

"Any arguments?"

"No"

once again you saw the pen write something on some paper. You wanted to know what exactly he was writing about.

What was talking him so long? You wanted him to fucking leave.

"Thank you for answering these questions, we'll call if we need anything else" the officer said as he stood up.

"Thank you for your hard work! Do I need to walk you out?" You asked with smile

"no, I'll show myself out" was all he said as he walked towards the front door.

As soon as he was out of sight you got up and ran to window to check if he was gone. You watched his car pull out the driveway, and you let out a sigh of relief.

fucking finally.

You ran to you and Ellie's shared room, and between heavy breathes you said "she almost caught us baby".

You walked towards the bed, where Ellie's decomposing body lay. Flies circled her body, her skin was pale and cold to the touch.

You put some of her hair behind her ear "it's ok now, they'll never catch us" you whispered

You loved Ellie. And you would anything for you. Anything including quitting your job and becoming her housewife.

In the beginning you hated it, staying home, cooking, cleaning. But when Ellie praised you, you fucking loved it.

And soon after you became the stereotypical housewife. Cute outfits, aprons that matched whatever you wore. You always woke up before her, to prepare her favorite breakfast. You cooked her dinner.

You fucking did everything.

The two of you were happy. Until Ellie got a promotion. She got more work, the pressure was getting worse for the poor girl.

Ellie came home late and most nights she barley even slept. You tried supporting your wife as best you could. You tried cleaning the house before she came come. You did all her laundry, you even chose her outfits most days.

But it was never enough for her.

One night you cooked Ellie's favorite meal. A prideful smile was on your lips as you put the plate in front of her.

This would cheer her up. You knew it would.

Ellie glanced down at the plate, and she looked back at you. The dark circles under her eyes looked even darker than they did yesterday.

"You are so fucking pathetic" she started.

"I work all fucking day to come to this shit? And look, this table is dusty" she added.

Ellie got up from where she was sitting and she threw the plate filled with food onto the floor. "You have cleaning to do, and don't fucking serve this shit again" she walked out of the dining room and you sat there mouth agape.

This was the first time she's ever said anything like that to you. You sobbed in the kitchen that night. You felt sick to your stomach.

Everything you did was for Ellie and for the first time she wasn't satisfied with you.

Your main mission in life became to serve. To serve her. But what do you do when the one you did everything for, wasn't satisfied?

The next morning you woke up bright and early, and you cooked Ellie a widespread of breakfast. Fruit salad, bacon, eggs pancakes and so much more decorated the table.

You heard the bedroom door open and you saw her walk out, she glanced at the table

"I'm not hungry" was all she said and she walked out the front door.

You were shattered.

Since that day everything you did was wrong.

You couldn't clean right.

Her fingers ran along the cupboard, and she looked at you with a frown.

"Can you not clean right? Should i get a maid? Because you cant do shit"

you couldn't do the laundry right.

you stood in the doorway watching Ellie fit on her suit. She looked herself in the mirror before she made eye contact with you.

"It's still wrinkled and there's a stain" she pointed out.

"fix it" was all she said before she threw the clothes on the floor.

You couldn't even cook right.

Ellie only had one spoon of her food before she pushed her plate to the side

"what's wrong?" you asked

"this is disgusting"

it hurts. Every insult Ellie hurled at you hurt.

You knew she was stressed but it didn't give her the right to take her stress out on you.

One night you tried talking to Ellie. But she didn't want to. She didn't have energy for this.

"Don't you have a house to clean? Oh wait you can't even do that right" she said through a chuckle.

You snapped.

You let out a scream as you grabbed the lamp on your side of the bed. You jumped onto the bed, and you shit her over and over again.

"I"

*hit

"am"

*hit

"the perfect"

*hit

"housewife" you yelled.

Blood littered the walls, and your hands. Heavy breathes left your mouth as you looked at the scene.

"Oh Ellie I'm sorry! This room is filthy! I'll clean it"

you scrubbed the walls, you changed the bedding and you gave her a bath.

Everything was back to normal. It was all clean.

You looked at her decomposing body. She looked peaceful and she wasn't being mean anymore.

This was the girl you fell in love with.

You gave her a kiss on the forehead before you muttered "its time for breakfast" and you left the room to start making your girl breakfast.

You weren't sure how long you were going to get away with this, but for the time being you were happy.

She was better dead anyway.

[gooobraghhh]

Very sheepishly submitting myself to your tumblr tboy anon harem.

I've never cum before, whenever I've tried to myself it's too much and I tense up, even with toys. I think you could make me, though.

I would love to be ridiculously crossed-- polishing off a mickey of vodka, questionably high content edible just starting to kick in-- while sitting in your lap and laying against you. I wouldn't be in any position to refuse any more weed you'd like to give me, and would happily smoke however much of a joint, or hit a pen a concerning amount of times.

Sober anxieties completely stifled as I lose any higher order of thinking- gradually beginning to pathetically rutt against one of your thighs, trying to grab and caress your tits, breathily whimpering with my face buried in your shoulder.

Obviously, you don't have to let me get what I want. I would be so pliant under your hands that I could easily be moved, maneuvered to wherever you want me to be (I might have to be at this point, it's questionable if I could stand on my own). I asked for it first, it wouldn't be taking advantage to just help me a little to get where I want.

Forced down to my knees, I might try to warn you that I've never sucked cock before, but I can't imagine it would be that coherent. It doesn't matter, anyway. You'd probably have to softly hit me to remind me to open my mouth, and after that you could use my throat as freely as you'd like.

It would be the same when you lay me down. Through hopelessly needly pleas, I might try and say something, but god knows what actually comes out of my mouth. I wouldn't have enough sense to be embarrassed about that, or having lost my pants some time ago, or how I've been leaking through my underwear. I definitely wouldn't have enough sense to be embarrassed about how (as soon as I'm freed from my boxers) I eagerly spread my legs for you. Honestly, that's about as much physical effort as I would be able to put in in my state.

Take me however you'd like, command me to call you whatever you want, and i'd gasp for mommy every time you ram into me- whimpering as you pull out to do it again and again. I would beg for you, unintelligibly babbling as I shake, whining that I was almost there and trying to convince you that I had been a good enough boy to deserve it. That you're so, so good, and I just want you to touch me. Even if you don't, just you readjusting my hips to fuck deeper into my cunt has me yelping and gripping your sheets.

A few more thrusts directly into my g spot and I'm panting and crying, tensing and jerking my hips against yours as I finally cum on your perfect cock. I'd fall limp against the mattress, and probably breathing for a moment before completely passing out.

It wouldn't make too much of a difference, though- I'm still throbbing around you, still a perfectly fine, tight hole. It's not like I would remember anything that happened while I was awake, and definitely not now. There would be no reason not to continue fucking me, no consequences for using me however you want as I pant and mewl beneath you.

It would be a waste *not* to cum deep inside me at least a few times. Maybe more than a few. Enough times that I when I wake up, confused and sick, I'll feel how hard I had been used. I'd still have cum trickling out of me, and know that I was a bitch for breeding.

Shame that I'll never know how hard I came for you, though

-🐏 (if that's not taken!! ⚓ If it is? He/him)

Sorry for the gooner novel. You don't have to post this btw I'm aware of how mf long and possibly weird it is LMAO. I'm not even into this mommy puppyboy shit fr (side eye) this blog just has me feeling some kinda way. Finishing assignments as repentance godbless

Well it’s clear you can’t make yourself cum because the desperation here is just immense. What a dirty fantasy you have. Sheepish is definitely a good way to describe you. I mean you sent me an ask apologizing for this one the next morning. But don’t worry, it’s okay. Some guys are just perverts like you. They can’t help it. Maybe finally cumming would help with your dirty mind, guess we’ll have to find out won’t we? I’ll make sure to get you all fucked up first since otherwise you’re clearly to much of an anxiety ridden mess. You probably do a lot better all strung out and usable

[shyve3]

Deacon Anaylsis

Once again, I'm joining the fandom in yet another post about character analysis! Idk how I feel about posting my fanart at the moment because it's all traditional art, but i'll get to posting that too...someday.

Please bear with me if you're a major Deacon simp like I am or just someone who likes reading character analyses, because it's so much longer than I expected. I have never written so much in my life, holy shit. (EDIT: I probably have. But this is 3000 words. so it's a lot!)

Also: everything I say in this post is just my interpretation of his character. I've littered a few headcanons here and there. And while some of this may sound harsh, I swear I'm not trying to demean him in any way. I love him because I relate to him, so half of this is me calling out my behavior as well, just indirectly :3

Let's start at the beginning.

We see Deacon as Chase's cousin, who's frankly an annoying, nerdy older brother figure in Chase's eyes. He's always *cough* studying *cough* and most definitely not reading hopeless-romantic-fairytale-books-where-there's-a-random-hero-saving-the-damsel-in-distress. I remember when I first saw him, I thought he was the most pathetic dude ever. In a good way of course. But, eventually my opinion of him built up to be a lot more complex.

We see a glimpse of his ACTUAL character in Chapter 10, when he first goes with Chase and Grandpa Ralph to meet Aunt Myra. His mom, Beth, is seen to be pretty strict towards Deacon. She immediately points out the fact that his shirt isn't tucked in and Deacon's dad immediately goes to ask Chase if he has a job before even saying HI! (Can we get a hi, hello, how are you doing???)

His parents are on the stricter side, and we can see how it affects him in many ways:

Deacon is always dressed in super "nerdy" clothes: button ups, slacks(?) if that's what you call them, plain sweaters. He doesn't really get to express himself to them, and his mom most probably still buys his clothes. (He's literally 20! A young adult!) Ouch.

He's scared to stand up to them for the right reasons. Even though his parents are kinda harsh on everyone Deacon doesn't really retaliate back. That type of strictness towards kids can make them a so-called loser who's extremely awkward and can't stand up for himself. It's evident with how Deacon reacts towards his parents, immediately getting shot down the second he tries to say anything.

Deacon working to be a doctor. Even though it's not what he wants, he goes along with their wishes. After all, people would kill to have as much money as his family. He is humble and grateful, which I think is so important in helper archetypes. He understands their reasoning, that they just want him to be successful, even if it goes against what he wants emotionally: freedom.

Even though Deacon HATES the fact that he's the helper, because it's what he's been doing his whole life, he is still on the journey to learn that being the helper isn't always the bad thing.

Helping others doesn't mean you can't be the hero: Deacon has this secret fantasy of being the hero and proving himself to people: it's why he always consumes media related to "saving" someone (like Ship of Sorrows or any other of his romance novels he reads.)

It kinda also ties into why he's such a hopeless romantic. While it seems funny how he's always dreaming of women and saving them and what-not, it reveals a big truth about his character:

He's pretty f'ing lonely. Most people who look for romantic partners in literally anyone (like Deacon idolizing every single GIRL he meets), are usually lonely. He just wants the comfort in knowing, "yay, I finally proved myself to someone!"

I truly believe that he's asexual or somewhere along the aro/ace spectrum for this reason. His "crushes" on women are truly because of his hero complex, idolizing saving them rather than real love. It's silly, but real. I think he's just experiencing a horrible case of limerence with any woman he meets. (That, and I NEVER see him crushing on real life women. We also don't get a chance to see him with women in real life, but ya know. Anyways, this is just a HC.)

When he first started going into books with Chase, he was extremely excited to be a part of something. His fantasy to prove himself the hero became true: for two seconds.

He feels like his role was a "lame sidekick." Bronze was kinda salty to Deacon's closed off attitude, leading to a little miscommunication between them. (As Punko confirmed, in Toffee Break he purposely sent Deacon into a story with an outfit that didn't include underwear. He must've been reallll salty!) Deacon constantly dodges his role, and he's not ready to be a helper, both in real life and in books.

Deacon's self-worth kinda gets worse when they first go into Toffee Break, getting into the way of his story-going adventures. I love how narratonin is such a journey that really relies on emotional intelligence. It's also the reason he struggles to make it through Toffee Break.

He hates when people point out how his help isn't enough and isn't working, even when it's the smallest indication or a tiny jab. Deacon and Chase start arguing about how Deacon's help wasn't "enough", and it digs at him worse than Chase expected. He's extremely sensitive.

"Toffee Break" stressed him out immensely because of the fact that he learned that he didn't actually know how to help out in the story. He struggled with the fact that this story was extremely counter-intuitive.

Usually, his help consisted of careful strategic planning, like what to say around his parents, making sure they are satisified with whatever he does or says, and also hiding the fact that he's not actually interested in the career path his parents chose for him...

Now, his help consists of adhering to the story and what the heroine does. He has to follow behind her (Chase, in this case), and whatever random path she goes down, something that he's never done.

Buddy makes a second dig at him after his squabble with Chase, saying "Guess no one needed your help", to which he says, "Yeah. Guess you're right." and leaves immediately after. While I love them as a duo, their indifference to each others' characters is what makes them so hard to get along with each other.

I talked about in my Buddy analysis how Buddy takes pride in his role as a villainess, something that probably took him months or even years of discipline. Even though he's closed-minded to "changing the story" like Deacon, what sets them apart is his passion for his archetype in stories. In the beginning, Deacon is inexperienced in embracing his role as a helper and it’s what holds him back. That combined with his lack of knowledge of deviating from the story (much like what Buddy suffered with) was double damage. It's one thing to not be able to deviate from the story, but you can make up for it with your passion to a role despite being "confined" to your role. That's something Deacon needs to learn to have.

After leaving the story, he confides in Bronze with how he's always had everything laid out for him by his parents (proving my point to what I said earlier: That type of parenting changes a kid forever. And he's stuck with a closed-off mindset.) After he comes back into the story, he's feeling a little better about his role, and he's able to realize that sometimes, the best thing to do in life is to wing it. After all, you don't get schooling on how to be the helper, sorry Deacon. While he felt like his life and attitude towards helping others was "laid out", he subconsciously learned how to help others in the way they wanted him to.

After this arc, Chase and Deacon bond a lot more over stories and how to go about hunting for narratonin. Deacon's helper role represents him a lot in real life, and he's the voice of reason to Chase's energetic and spontaneous personality. They balance each other out perfectly, spontaneity with reasoning. Basically, they're the perfect storybook duo with Deacon's book-smart and Chase's street-smarts blending together.

I'm pretty sure I saw this in another analysis, but I'm adding it as well because it's such a good point. (EDIT: I can't find who posted it. PLEASE comment so I can tag you...!)

Deacon plays an important role outside of stories as well. In Cinderella Boy, we get a lot of Chase's insights of his life and traits from, who else but DEACON! He's literally a storyteller.

In Dreams by Day, he tells Silver (and us) about Chase's projection habit, which is extremely hilarious. But it's also an indicator of his personality and his little quirks that "Deacon got used to."

He's also a BIG lore dropper for Chase's life. After all, how would we know about Chase's dad, his mom, his selflessness, his quirks and personality that make him a true heroine?

The two keys also play important roles to him outside of stories.

Bronze is essentially telling him all the time: "No Deacon. Being a helper doesn't mean you neglect your own needs to help others. It means putting yourself first and taking the time to reflect on what you really want and THEN throwing yourself at the oppurtunity to help others. And also, stop being a huge people pleaser. I'm salty enough to know that you're a helper because you feel the overwhelming urge to forget about your own needs because you've been taught to put others first." Also the way that Bronze jokes on Deacon's rigid and insecure perspective of things is also kinda funny. While Bronze is mainly joking, he's also saying: "Dude. Are you serious? You have a life and emotions too!"

Silver also helps him. While the heroine key wouldn't seem like the wise advisor, she's wise emotionally. She always looks on the bright side, and after Deacon tells her that "People fail all the time", she says that hoping and wishing sometimes is enough. Passion is enough for someone to succeed. She is optimistic and believes in everyone, much like Chase. these words make Deacon feel better about himself. Surrounded by Silver and Chase will do that to ya! Leave it to a key and your cousin who's also extremely right about believing in yourself to make your life a little brighter. I believe in ya, Deacon!

He goes through a little bit of a mishaps during the Sick Day arc, getting a little too carried away. Once again, he wants to be the hero, and what better way to do it in one of his storybooks? He's also kinda upset about the fact that he's "always working hard for someone else", basically stuck in a moment of self pity. And so, he thinks, extremely in-the-moment: "hey! I should be the hero right now!" and so he does what Chase does: deviates from the story.

Except, he doesn't make it work. With the helper, deviating from the story doesn't go the same way it does with the heroine. This isn't to say that Deacon shouldn't be deviating from the story: it's just more-so how he goes about it. With the helper key, deviating from the story is a lot more risky. You can deviate from the story, just make sure it works with the plot. (and no, don't try to change your role in the story when it’s not subconsciously happening…Sorry Deacon, it won't work.) With the heroine, she can deviate from the story because her role kinda depends on it. She GETS what she wants, because most fairytales and stories GIVE the heroine luck.

Deacon's hero complex got to him again. He followed his fantasies and it backfired, and it's why deviating from the story just in a frenzy of praying you can change your role doesn't work. (It's also extremely unexpected that Buddy has to be the hero of Sick Day, saving both Deacon and Chase. But that's a whole other spiel to go off of...Someone pick it up from here.)

Buddy starts to play a more important role in Deacon's life, something I'll continue to talk about later on in this anaylsis!

The most important lines are "Maybe for once, I wanted to be the hero!" and to which Buddy says, "A real hero takes on his role because he has to. Not because he wants to. There are times we must be the hero, and many times where we need to be a helper."

Basically, he's clowning on Deacon for glamorizing the role of a hero. The whole idea of the hero archetype of the media in general is fed into the magic-guy-saves-the-world, ignoring the fact that heroes do their role for a purpose, a REASON. Not to get a wish. Again, this is another thing he must come to understand. Deacon's a rational guy, but when it comes to proving himself to others, he's an idiot. Once again, his wretched hero complex!

Even after the entire Sick Day arc, he still wants to be put in the spotlight and looks for some way to prove that he's cooler or better in some way, which is kinda funny.

In All that Glitters, Deacon isn't too big of a focus but we can sorta see him piecing together the shift in Chase and Buddy's relationship.

Stargoth are getting closer, and he's kinda smart so he goes, "Wait a minute. Their relationship is mutual. But they're too dumb to realize it." and he senses that shift. With the advice he's been following all his life, which is to think "realistically", he tells Chase to be careful about telling and not telling Buddy things.

As much as they could just tell Buddy about Prunella, to make sure he doesn't get his feelings like he did when he found out about the helper key, Deacon realizes what's more important. He knows Ex-Libris would most probably punish Buddy for getting another key-holder for another key that went missing. Therefore, he encourages Chase not to tell him, but he feels extremely guilty for it.

Also another detail I didn't really talk and I just noticed as I went to read "All That Glitters" was how Deacon has an obsession with horses. Once again, he wants to "change" the horses with his heroic complex that he has despite having the helper key. (Funny, yet goes along with his character perfectly. He really is something.)

The Honor Among Thieves arc is another important aspect that also ties in with Stargoth and Deacon’s perspective of it. He SEES things. He sees stupidity and these dumb pining idiots fighting with each other. Being the voice of reason, he's absolutely fed up with their bickering and their antics at this point. It's also accidentally hypocritical of him:

He's always the guy to get carried away with fantasies of meeting fictional women who he proves himself to. Yet, when he sees Chase absolutely losing it at Buddy's *cough* *hotness* he is SO done. When it comes to Stargoth, Deacon's fitting into the role as a helper perfectly. C'mon! At least it's not a fictional character, DEACON! /j I don't blame him as a very sapphic Cinderella boy stan...

At the end of Honor Among Thieves, they manage to give the story its happy ending despite the crazy antics and curveballs thrown at them. Good job for Deacon being able to deviate from the story AND help Chase. It's a win-win!

He also essentially tells Chase at the end to not feel bad about the fact that they hid Prunella and Goldie from him, because they had reasons to. Even though they would hurt Buddy emotionally, they could physically keep him safe from what would happen if they DID tell Buddy. And of course, Chase goes to sniff the hoodie right after, saying "You ever feel really wrong even when you're doing the right thing?" *cough gay* *but also foreshadowing. Yikes, Deacon. You were right for directing Chase, but it backfired after he found out :(*

The Book of Deacon is the closest we get to seeing Deacon's perspective. And there's many things I have to say about that episode:

First, the dry texts he sends to his mom. He is so tired of being the helper, and while he's writing out the notecards for the stories? Ow, double damage. He's tired of being the helper once again, constantly shifting back and forth between feeling better about himself and his role as a helper, both in stories and in real life, to having it constantly shut down the next second. The texts with his mom confirm, once again, he feels pressured and forced to help other people. That definitely doesn't help him feel better about himself.

The fact that he TOOK the hero key to go into a book as a hero: he's trying so hard to change his path again, only to feel better about himself. His fantasies and desires to be a hero are what help him avoid the role of a helper...

It's also kinda insane as many people have noted that he immediately resorts to CRUSHING on silver in the book. Dude, that's a key! But it also plays into his stupidity and hopeless-romantic character. No, I'm not saying him NOT EVEN SNAPPING OUT OF IT AND ALMOST ASKING OUT A KEY was justified. Just that he is SO irrational when it comes to chasing after women (whether it be fictional or out of his league, like literally. Girl, that's a KEY!), completely forgetting about everything else. After all, it's why he's so unsuited to being a hero when he forces himself to be one.

He comes to the realization that he HATES being a hero. Now THIS is the first token of acceptance we see him getting towards the helper role. This is where he fully accepts his role. He doesn't really like having a set path for himself. While it's probably because of how he hates set paths, possibly hinting to him standing up for himself later on...

He decides to help Chase in Requiem of Blood and Moonlight (finally, and without any sorta self-doubt or worry.) First, he starts with taking him into the story, and a part of him is happy with seeing that Chase is happy with it as well. It's so adorable seeing Deacon actually accept his role, and it's so attractive I SWEAR! Like oh my gosh, he's finally loving himself more!

Buttt it kinda backfires when he disregards Deacon's info on the story and warnings altogether. His help and usual voice of reason is useless to Chase, who is a gay IDIOT (see, there's a pattern here: love fantasizing about relationships that you'll never have makes you stupid.) Now we're faced with the question: what is Deacon's role now?

And that's where Buddy steps in.

Deacon and Buddy bond with their mutual desire to end the story, and they do this by taking on other roles. Even though Buddy's the villainess, he won't hesitate to fit into other roles in the story, and ends up being kinda like the helper. "The keys can take advantage of certain...loopholes." Similarly, Deacon is kinda the hero of the story now, without it being forced. (See Deacon? You can't force yourself to be the hero! Now, you HAVE to be one :) )

Deacon unknowingly becomes the hero after fighting off the wolves when he's locked outside the castle in this arc.

He steps into the scene of Buddy and Chase trying to tackle down Lucifier in the book. It's a parallel to Honor Among Thieves where Deacon was the one helping.

This story is the first story where we see him bonding with Buddy and unknowingly being the Hero without boasting about it nor making a big deal out of it! I'm so impressed.

To sum it up, I think Deacon's a character with a big hero complex built on his insecurities and he's so keen on proving himself to others. His insecurities come from his parents and rigid mindset that you must be realistic even if it's not what you want. The fact that he's so insecure also makes him a hopeless romantic, searching for unattainable standards of romance. He has a hard time accepting the fact that he can help others while also making room for himself, but he's growing to stand up for himself, not just others. My guy is going places! He serves as a voice of reason to Chase, even though sometimes he has to be reasoned with...And his role in stories changes when he isn't busy wishing for it. And, he's extremely book smart, slowly building up street smarts with the help of Chase and Silver as well.

Anyway, that's all the anaylsis I have on him so far.

I can't wait to see what advice he'll have for Chase after Buddy found out about Prunella and the Hero Key.

I just know next arc is going to be ROUGH. Praying for everyone's mental stability! (Can't guarantee we'll get any though.)

[profound-bouquetbird]

Hi yes,i completely understand as to why someone might feel uncomfortable writing a fic abt jimmy in a romantic aspect,which is exactly why i asked for angst. ( I'm a sucker for angst )

I was asking for a scenario where the reader and jimmy had already been in an established relationship with Jimmy wayy prior than boarding on the tulpar, i was wondering that the reader has positive views on jimmy but after finding out what he did to anya the reader completely breaks down and loses every ounce of love/compassion/respect for jimmy. And how curly/swansea and daisuke would try to comfort the reader.

Jimmy tries to convince the reader to give him another chance but the reader rips him a new one,like just jimmy being pathetic and miserable like he deserves to be.

I've been sent requests and messages that everyone can't wait for this fic, now I'm scared I'm going to disappoint 😔

BUT WHO CARES, I'M STILL WRITING IT, RAAAHHHH 🦅💥💥🦅🦅🦅💥💥💥

Edit: I'm done with writing it and right as I was about to post it, I realized that I forgot to put the actual comfort in the fict... Yeahh....

Warnings: mentions/hinting of sexual assault, Daisuke and the reader having a parent/son relationship, mentions of paper cuts, mentions of guns, drug overdose, murder, blood, hurt/no comfort, not proofread

I looked at Jimmy in absolute horror. No tears, no sobbing, nothing left my lips. There was only one feeling remaining though...

Disgust.

He called out my name, and I couldn't stop the shiver of fear that rushed through me.

"Please... Let me explain."

Three days before boarding ᯓ★

"One year?!" I gasped out in disbelief, eyes widening in shock at the news my boyfriend just dropped. One year out in space? Why would he even accept that offer?!

"I know, I know... But we need the money." He breathed out, not looking so pleased with the outcome either.

I sighed, knowing that he was right. I relaxed back onto the couch, crossing my arms in disappointment.

One year without him here with me? No contact at all? I barely survived his last shipment, and that only lasted three months, and now I had to wait a year? they were asking too much. What do they even ship out?

"... I'm sorry." He breathed out, and his expression only made me feel worse.

"You don't have to apologize... It's your job." I sighed, a small smile on my face to reassure him. Sure, it would be a loonnngg year for me, but it was for the money, for our future... for us.

"I'll go start dinner for us... Okay?" He gave me a sad smile, walking over to me and resting a gentle hand on the back of my head, placing a light kiss to my temple as he made his way towards the kitchen.

I smirked, watching him walk off with a playful roll of my eyes.

"And by that I'm guessing you're ordering pizza?" I teased, causing him to let out a quick laugh before disappearing into the kitchen.

With him gone, I was now alone with my thoughts.

I mean- a whole year away from Earth? That's sure to leave some impact on both me and him.

... My saddened expression slowly started to fade as a thought crossed my mind.

What if I applied for the job with him?

A smile grew on my face, but I couldn't tell him now, it should be a surprise! Yes! Imagine his joy when he finds out I get to tag along with him, and for a whole year at that!

Oh, the overjoyed look on his face-

"You want plain peperoni again or do you want to switch it up for tonight?" I jumped a bit; my thoughts being interrupted as Jimmy yelled from the kitchen.

"Uh- Yeah! A peperoni will do!" I yelled back, smiling to myself. Maybe I should apply after dinner.

One week before boarding ᯓ★

I giggled to myself quietly as I watched Jimmy pack his bags. He always liked to pack early, says he has time to check everything and pack anything that's missing.

"Jimmy..." I dragged out his name, trying to contain my excited expression as I watched him.

"Yes, Y/n? I'm busy, I wouldn't want to miss anything." He mumbled out, rummaging through his things. My smile felt slightly, but I decided to shake that uneasy feeling away. He was just stressed.

"I've got some exciting news." I stated, my smile and excitement returning as he peaked at me over his shoulder and gave me a confused glance, "I applied as a Pony express nurse and... I got in!" I almost squeaked out in excitement, but... my excitement died down when he didn't return it.

He stayed in silence for a little while, still looking over his shoulder but not looking at me.

"... Why would you do that?" He asked me, his voice cold as he still didn't look at me. Did I... do something wrong?

"Well... I'm sure that us being apart would make both your journey and my stay would feel way longer than it was supposed to, so... I thought going with you would make both of our stays fly by faster." I stated sheepishly, now unsure of myself. I looked down at my hands, feeling an intense sense of guilt wash over me as the two of us stayed in silence.

I heard him sigh and his clothes ruffle, soft footsteps walking towards me and soon enough his arms were wrapped around me in a warm embrace.

"I'm sorry I reacted like that... I just didn't want you to get hurt." He mumbled into my hair, one of his hands resting on my lower back while the other ran through my hair.

Every ounce of dread faded away with those simple words, hugging him back with a smile on my face.

"... I should've told you earlier, I'm sorry too." I mumbled back. I felt his grip get a bit tighter, which made me feel comforted. He mumbled something underneath his breath that I couldn't comprehend, but I didn't question it.

Two months before the crash ᯓ★

Life on the ship was... Weird. I mean, I knew I was away from Earth, but it felt like we didn't even take off, which I guess is better than floating around.

Everyone on the ship was nice as well. Anya, my coworker was really sweet and really competitive when it came to boardgames, but she's been oddly quiet around my boyfriend, Jimmy... maybe because she found out he was my boyfriend she didn't want to seem like she was going to steal him away from me, which I find very sweet.

Daisuke was interesting. He was a bit nervous for the first few days, but I couldn't really do anything since he didn't really want to talk to anyone. He quickly opened up to us though, and it's always interesting to hear him talk, he does say some weird stuff sometimes though.

Swansea was the same as boarding day, acting very serious and only talking about work, but I sometimes get to hear a little about his past. He has a wife and two kids! How nice.

Curly was a nice captain, I don't see him nor talk to him often, but the times that I did he was nice.

And of course there was my boyfriend, Jimmy. He focuses on his work a lot, which is good don't get me wrong! But I sometimes want him to spend time with me or even visit me in the medical bay...

All of the relationships to the side, work wasn't really that hard. Everyone made sure to take care of themselves, Daisuke got hurt every once in a while, but even he knew not to waste supplies over something as little as a paper cut (I still sneak him my own band-aids every once in a while, though).

---

I smiled to myself as I read through the reports, Anya and I split the 'interrogation' part of the psych test, I was the one to deal with Daisuke since he was the only one to actually drag out the psych test with his little stories. Anya complained to me about it, so I offered to take the test instead of her.

I sat in the room with the young intern, finding myself actually interested in his stories. He somehow managed to find a story with every question that I asked... And when he didn't have an opportunity to rant about a story, he just extended his answer.

He was just done with his rant about how he managed to hit his pinkie toe when he was trying to pass a screwdriver to Swansea, hilarious really.

"Hm..." I hummed a bit, tapping my bottom lip with my pen as I inspected the questions. "... How would you say your relationships with the crewmembers are?" I read off the question, ticking it off the list for myself.

"Awh, absolutely great!" He began excitedly, and just as I thought he was going to leave it at that, he continued.

"Curly is an awesome captain! Sure, I don't see him often, but he's so cool! He always knows how to fix a problem.

Anya is sweet too, but I don't see her as often like I do you. While we're on the topic of you, you've also been pretty awesome, you didn't have to give me your band-aids though.

Swansea is rude, but he can be cool from time to time. I'm still proud that I managed to make him laugh the other day with one of my jokes. But he can tone it down on the yelling sometimes...

Jimmy is also pretty cool! Being a co-pilot must be really hard, and I appreciate that he's in the cockpit most of the time to make sure we don't crash. But he could come out every once in a while... Last time I saw him was a day or two ago when he visited Anya in the medbay though." My smile fell at that small comment, my writing stopping abruptly as I stared down at my notes for a moment.

Jimmy visited Anya. Why wouldn't he come to visit me? I mean- maybe he walked into the medbay to look for me and I wasn't there, even then why would he ask Anya where I was or at least wait for me to come back. So why did he leave the cockpit and not come to visit me first. I'm his damn partner!

Daisuke noticed my silence, his own happy expression turning awkward and on edge.

"Uh... Did I say something wrong?" He asked sheepishly, almost sinking into his seat while clutching the edges of his seat awkwardly.

"Oh... No, Daisuke. Don't worry, I just got lost in thought." I smiled warmly towards him. That small act made him relax. Jimmy is not important currently; I'll talk to him after the psych eval with Daisuke.

I looked back at the paper to see the rest of the questions, only to be surprised that we were done with the last one.

"Looks like we're done here." I sighed, setting down the papers on the small table. Daisuke let out an overexaggerated sigh of relief, slumping in his seat.

"Ugh, finally!" He chuckled, "I thought the questions were never gonna end!"

I chuckled at his antics, standing up from my seat and picking up the papers once more.

"I suggest you get back to work, don't want Swansea worrying now, do we?" I chuckled, opening the door and waiting for him to walk out.

"No! That's even worse! Please continue with the questions!" He whined, getting up and walking out despite his words, although with a bit of a slump.

I walked out right after him, closing the door right after walking out.

"Good luck." I sighed, watching him walk away to where Swansea supposedly was.

"You, too!" He yelled back, smiling brightly, waving goodbye while turning the corner.

I exhaled through my nose, making my way towards the medbay. You know what? I don't have time to argue with him right now about him visiting Anya, he always thinks he's in the right, so the argument won't really lead to anything.

A week before the crash ᯓ★

Anya looked... on edge recently.

She has been jumpier than before... Now that I think about it, I don't remember her being jumpy in the first week.

I did ask her if something was wrong and that she could talk to me if needed, but she just brushed me off and told me that she was fine. People deal with their problems in different ways, and I get that, but... I'm worried about her.

Right now, I was sitting on the kitchen counter, poking at my food a bit as I was lost in thought.

My thoughts were interrupted by footsteps. I turned around only to spot captain Curly. I smiled at the man, turning fully to greet him.

"Morning, captain." I smiled, "Came for some breakfast?" I asked, as if it wasn't already obvious. The man gave me a tired smile and walked to the kitchen, grabbing the already prepared meal like I had. Anya was kind enough to make us a plate each because I slept in and Curly doesn't come out of the cockpit often, same as Jimmy.

"Yup." He tiredly answered my question, sitting down beside me as he began eating. I observed his tired manors for a couple of seconds, giving him a sympathetic look.

"Need a nap, Curly?" I asked him, taking a bite of my own food as I waited for his response.

"Desperately, but it's not like I can." He sighed, the small smile on his face turning into a small frown. I furrowed my brows at his words.

"How so? Jimmy is there to take over when you're too tired, right?" I questioned, setting down my fork. He furrowed his brows, closing his eyes for a moment. He looked like he had been caught in a lie.

"It's not that... simple." He dragged out his words, which only made me even more confused.

"What do you mean?" I cautiously asked, eying him suspiciously. He exhaled through his nose, setting down his fork as well as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"He just... doesn't look like he's in the right place to maneuver the ship properly." He said, trying to end the conversation with that. But I didn't want to back out that easily.

"He's been in that cockpit almost 24/7 since we boarded. I don't understand how he couldn't control the ship properly." I tried to argue, getting a bit agitated. Why would he think my boyfriend was incompetent? He can take responsibility.

"Just... leave it to me, okay?" He sighed, obviously not wanting to argue, and I respect that.

"... Alright, captain. I trust you." I backed out, standing up to wash my dishes.

"Leave the dishes to me." Curly spoke up, standing up himself to wash his own dish, grabbing mine before I could protest. I smiled, mumbling a quick thank you before making my way towards the medbay.

Zero days before the crash ᯓ★

I was patching up another one of Daisuke's paper cuts. He claims that he doesn't know how to use a band-aid correctly, but I think he just wants to rant to me.

"I wonder what I'm missing back on earth..." He sighed after finishing his long rant about some hard level that he barely passed on his Gameboy.

"You'll be so far back on the trends." I chuckled, patting his paper cut to convince him that it was on correctly.

"Don't you worry about me; I'll easily catch up." He tried to flex his muscles for the dramatic effect. I rolled my eyes at that, patting his shoulder and standing up.

"Well, your injury is taken care of, you can head back to work-" I was interrupted by blaring red lights and alarms.

my heart dropped at that, looking around the room as if I was going to find the source. I looked back towards Daisuke to see his panicked expression.

"Stay here, I'll go look to see what's wrong-"

"Are you insane!? Don't go out, please!" Daisuke pleaded, clinging onto my uniform sleeve to make me stay. My heart ached at his desperate please.

But, then again, it could just be a fake alarm... But that also doesn't mean I should leave him alone-

The whole ship started to shake; the alarms started to blare more loudly and so did Daisuke.

He kept repeating "Oh my god!" and "Please, no!"

I clung to him tightly, covering his head as a sort of instinct as I pulled us down onto the floor. The things on the desk we were next to started to fall onto us and I covered Daisuke from everything. Everything moved and trashed around in the medbay and the only thing I could do is cling to him.

What was going on?

Two months after the crash ᯓ★

I sat next to Jimmy, trying to comfort him by resting my head on his shoulder and slowly petting the back of his hand with my thumb. But he was still tense, his expression looking permanently sour.

"... Talk to me, Jimmy. Please..." I tried to get him to open up. I heard him scoff and moments later he shoved me off of him.

"Fuck off, leave me alone." He grumbled, standing up and storming off. I didn't chase after him.

I let out a long exhale, pinching the bridge of my nose and resting my elbows on my knees. I understood why he would be on edge, I mean, one of his closest friends literally drove the ship into an asteroid, who wouldn't be upset?

But he could at least talk to me about it, I'm his partner after all.

"Are you okay?" I heard a soft voice behind me. I turned around to spot Anya. I put up a fake smile to comfort her though.

"I'm okay, Anya, really." I breathed out, straightening up my posture to mimic a confident look, although failing.

She gave me a pitiful look, taking a seat in the armchair next to me.

"... How have you been holding up?" I asked her after a couple of moments of silence. She was quiet for a little while, making me think it wasn't as well as I previously presumed. I mean- the ship crashed, and Curly is basically lacking skin and limbs but... she strong... Gosh, now I sound like a piece of shit when I really think about it.

"Poorly, I can't..." She closed her eyes, resting her head on the back of the couch. It felt like she was keeping something from me.

"... Nevermind." She muttered, standing up to walk away. I opened my mouth to call out to her, for her to tell me what she wanted, but I held back. Maybe it was better if I didn't know.

Four months after the crash ᯓ★

Everything and on the ship felt eerie.

Daisuke was quieter, which absolutely broke my heart. Anya looked weaker, she couldn't even glance towards Curly or his general direction. Swansea was getting absolutely drunk out of his mind on mouthwash. And Jimmy was... distant.

How could Curly even do this? The last time I talked to him he seemed completely fine, why would he change up so suddenly?

I heard a rough voice call out my name, I turned quickly to spot Swansea.

"Yes?" I hummed. The old man grabbed my forearm roughly.

"We need to talk." He stated, dragging me away from everyone in the main area. Jimmy gave the two of us a glare but stayed in his spot.

After the two of us were out of eyesight and earshot, Swansea let go of me. I was quick to massage the spot he grabbed, giving him a glare.

"There was no need to drag me." I grumbled. Swansea ignored my words and began to talk.

"I already talked to Anya about this beforehand, so this is mostly me telling you the plan." He pointed an accusing finger at me. I stayed quiet, waiting for him to begin talking as I massaged the spot he grabbed.

"There is only on cryogen pod left. And Anya and I agreed to give it to Daisuke." He stated. I gave him a look of confusion.

"I thought the room to the cryogen pods was completely blocked off by foam...?" I muttered in confusion. Why would he lie about something like that?

"I said that because Jimmy would've made it a big deal and it would've been a damn free for all in here." I was offended by his words, giving him a look of disbelief as I took a step back.

"Jimmy? Why would he do that?" I grumbled, making sure to keep my voice quiet. I didn't want him to hear, how offended and utterly hurt he would be if he heard Swansea's accusations.

"He- Never mind..." He gave up on an explanation, and I decided to not push it further. "What I'm trying to say is... We're saving the last pod for Daisuke." He said and I didn't protest, giving him a nod of approval and letting out a sigh of relief.

"Alright... but I should really tell Jimmy tha-"

"One word to him about this and you're dead." He grunted, pointing a finger to my chest before storming off.

I lightly massaged the area where he poked me, watching him walk away with a frown and furrowed brows as I composed myself in silence.

Why are they so against telling Jimmy, their now captain, about the cryogen pod? I don't understand...

---

I was panicking.

Daisuke and Jimmy were nowhere to be seen, Swansea also, and Anya had locked herself in the medicalbay.

"Anya, please open the door, talk to me!" I yelled at the door, my voice shaky and my breaths quick as I leaned against the door, staring at it like I was going to pass through it.

She called my name weakly, making me even more anxious than before.

"I'm... I'm so sorry." She sounded like she was crying, which only made my worries worsen.

"Sorry? You- you don't have anything to be sorry for, Anya. Please open the door for me." I laughed awkwardly, like when you're caught sneaking out by your parents and are trying to make up an excuse.

"Jimmy... he..." Her voice was weak, and the mention of my boyfriend's name made me swallow thickly, afraid of what she would say.

"He what, Anya, please... Say something." I whispered, caressing the door, pretending like I was comforting her.

"I didn't want to... He made me." She called out my name, "He forced me- I'm sorry, I really am..."

I was confused.

"Forced you? Anya, please unlock the door and we'll talk, I won't be mad. Whatever you say I'll understand." I tried talking to her, but she became unresponsive. It stayed like that for a little while before I began banging on her door.

"Anya? Anya please respond-" My blood ran cold as I heard an echoing scream come from within, but it wasn't Anya's... No... Please-

Before I could think of anything else, I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head, and everything went black.

One hour until Judgement ᯓ★

My eyes fluttered open, my breathing slow as I tried to remember what happened. I tried moving but I realized I was tied down onto something.

I blinked rapidly to get used to the new lighting, looking around to see where I was. I was in the common area, living room as Daisuke called it.

Speaking of him, where was he? I remember hearing something... He screamed, he got hurt

I squinted as I looked around rapidly, where was everyone?

"Daisuke? Anya? Jimmy? Swansea? Anyone! Can anyone hear me?!" I yelled, my voice raspy and my head throbbing. It was hard to adjust to the red lighting, but once it did, I tried looking for clues.

"Can anyone hear..." My voice trailed off as I spotted someone lying on the ground, it was heard to see who it was. I squinted and tried to focus.

"Daisuke?" I questioned, but the boy didn't budge.

"Daisuke! Don't fuck with me! Are you alright?" I yelled at him, tugging at my restraints. His lack of a response left me frustrated. I groaned, trashing around to try and loosen up the ropes a bit. Who would even tie me up in the first place?

I managed to loosen up the knots, finding them and untying them in the process. Whoever did tie me up sure didn't pay attention in whatever knot tying class they took.

I sat up straight, looking down to see I was tied up on the coffee table. I stretched a bit, finding the silence awful, but I continued.

I walked towards the laying boy cautiously, my eyes adjusting the closer I got and... Oh... Oh god-

"Daisuke..." I breathed out, eyes wide in horror as I stared at the interns split face.

I quickly ran towards him, crouching down as I didn't want to touch him, feeling like my filthy hands would ruin him.

"What... how-" Tears welled up in my eyes as I stared at the lifeless body of the intern. I looked back to where I was tied up, jumping and feeling petrified as I saw Swansea's limp body tied up in a chair, how had I not noticed him before?

I switched my gaze between the young intern and the older mechanic, not sure what to do. Is there even anything I can do? Daisuke's skull is literally split open and, by the looks of it, Swansea has two bullets in his head.

I stood up, legs shaking as I walked back, looking down the hall hesitantly and into the medical bay.

I slapped my hand to my mouth as I saw Anya, lifeless with blood seeping from her mouth from what I could see. Quiet sobs left my lips as I tried not falling to the ground. There was only one person who could've done this...

But... Jimmy would never do such a thing! Yes, he may seem a little cold and distant at times but that doesn't mean he's a murderer! He's my boyfriend, he's... he's supposed to be the good guy...

Who else could have done that though? What else could've done that? I looked back at Daisuke.

His head was open, I stated that multiple times... But with what? A pipe couldn't have done that, and the axe was in Swansea's care... Then that would explain him being tied up in a chair.

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense.

The harsh reaction I had when I told him I got the job, Anya's usual attitude falling when he was around, looking scared and over all staying quiet... Her words. It all made sense

Not only did he go on a killing spree, but he cheated, he forced himself onto Anya, he traumatized her. He didn't kill her, she killed herself because of him, and that was far worse.

The love I previously had for him seemed to just disappear at that moment, being replaced with guilt, anger.

I heard shuffling, my head snapping to see him.

I looked at Jimmy in absolute horror. No tears, no sobbing, nothing left my lips. There was only one feeling remaining though...

Disgust.

He called out my name, and I couldn't stop the shiver of fear that rushed through me.

"Please... Let me explain."

"Explain what?" I questioned, voice barely audible.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he stuttered, not knowing how to even start his sentence. Pathetic.

"I... I had to! Anya fucking killed herself because of a stupid depressive episode she had! Daisuke got injured in the vents while trying to save her, I tried to save him too, but he was badly injured and Swansea fucking killed him! I had to shoot Swansea in self-defense because he wanted to kill both of us. He tied you up and wanted to kill me because he wanted the cryogen pod all to himself! That was his plan all along! He wanted to leave all of us for dead." His excuses only made me hate him more.

Anya killing herself because of an episode? Swansea killing Daisuke because there was no hope? Him shooting Swansea in self-defense? His story had shitty plot holes, and even I could see that with the two minutes I had to look around.

"..." I stayed quiet, just staring at him in disbelief that he could make up such a statement. How many excuses and lies did he tell me while we were dating?

"... Baby, please-"

"Don't call me that." I hissed, cutting him off mid-sentence, I didn't want to hear any more excuses, any more pleas, nothing. "I'm done." He stared at me in confusion, but I could see his usual irritation growing.

"Done with what?" He hissed back, voice lower, brows knitting together in irritation.

"I'm done with you." I grumbled. I watched him as his grip on the gun got tighter. "I'm done with dealing with your temper tantrums, I'm done with being patient, I'm done with listening to your every order, and I'm done with your cheating."

"Cheating? What are you talking about-"

"I don't want to listen to your annoying voice anymore, Jimmy. I have tried time and time again to ignore your flaws, I tried to see the best in you, but I can't anymore." My heart was beating in my ears. From fear? From anger? I couldn't tell. "All this time while I was on the Tulpar- No, while I've been dating you, you have shown that you don't care about me, and I don't even know why I decided to stay with you for this long."

I could hear his angered breathing even from this far away, which made my fears worsen, but at this point I'd rather be shot than survive.

"Shoot me. I'd rather be dead than carry the burden that I chose to be with you." I mumbled, my voice quieter now as I gave him a challenging look.

The two of us were consumed by silence once more, the sparks of faulty wiring and his intense breathing giving me a sense of anticipation.

I watched him as he raised the gun, a look that I could only describe as disappointment resting on his face.

"You don't understand." He grumbled, the gun aimed at my head. I only glared at him, daring him to pull the trigger. "And I know you never will."

With that, I watched him pull the trigger the last thing I heard was a loud bang before my body hit the floor.

[killdozerrr]

hi there! :] i'm lilith, but most just call me lil or lily.

i'm 26, nonbinary and use any pronouns. i'm autistic, aspd, and the head of a system. only 2 or 3 alters use this blog to post (please feel free to ask questions about them if you are curious). 1 of them has his own blog

i am probably on your dni. i empathise with various serial killers and shooters. i post a lot of gore (including animal death) and nsfw, and am into some very fucked up shit (necrophilia, hybristophilia, mechanophilia, noncon, tortureporn, highly detailed guro, kidnapping to name a few). if that isn't what you like, then just block and move on. or feel free to leave a pathetic hate anon for me to laugh at. <3

i do have homicidal thoughts, and i will vent about them on here. this does not mean i will act on them, im simply just an unstable girl thing unable to seek the treatment i need so i cope by spilling my thoughts to random strangers on the web.

i do have a serial killer/cannibalistic alter. no i do not let him front frequently (but if he does he is one of those whom posts on the blog), esp if i am dealing with said homicidal ideation.

my alters are mostly "their own people" so to speak, some are fictive, others simply identify with fictional characters. @reapershi for example, is his own person, but heavily identifies with death the kid from soul eater so often uses his depiction to represent himself. i do have a stein alter, yes he's a fucking lunatic, yes he sometimes posts on the blog as well if i myself am not doing well. he is not harmful, however. lastly, i have a wolf boy alter, who heavily identifies with razor from genshin. he is the last alter who i allow to sometimes post on my blog. he's also his own person, but has the mentality of a feral child. he will usually only reblog photos of wolves when he is active. again, it is not common for these alters to be fronting, it does not happen all the time, only if im severely struggling with something. i have various other alters who have no interest in using tumblr too, but usually it's me at the front. just putting this here as clarification that i am not constantly switching like most did fakers tend to do. these alters are very real, i struggle very much with past trauma and my sense of identity, and i also wish the quirky "trend" of did would stop.

i do not tolerate racism, homophobia, nazism or bigotry. i do not condone these actions from any killers i may reblog or post about.

i do, however, condone the idea of natural selection. :]

likes (things i may reblog/post about frequently);; soul eater (stein my beloved), tcc (mainly serial killers (esp jeff <3), though sometimes i may reblog things about shooters), surrealism, psychology, cats, bunnies, nature, gothic style, halloween, music, gore, guro, nsfw topics, computers & older electronics

please feel free to send me dms or asks. i'm not great at talking, but i'll try to reciprocate regardless. :]

[hyuuukais]

.・゜-: ✧ :- FICTIONAL REALITY .・゜-: ✧ :-

pairing • bang chan x fem reader

synopsis • fiction or reality? y/n preferred the former, escaping into another world, escaping her problems. so what happens when reality takes that away from her; wiping her own story-in-progress off both her laptop and beloved usb? and what happens when she opens the door in the middle of a crisis to none other then the love interest of her novel... and he's holding her usb?

warnings • general, food mentions, minho implies he wants to kill someone lol, y/ns ex is possessive, y/n is called a freak and pathetic

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER FIVE • AFTER THE STORM (1.6k)

"Yeah, no."

Minho blinks at you, confused. "Why not?"

"Why not? Why- Min-" you slump down into your office chair, laptop light highlighting your frustrated features. "I've moved on! I'm over it!" Chan's words echo in your head. "The past is the past and should stay that way."

"Clearly something thinks you're a liar," he crosses his arms. "Other than me."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"You're clearly not over it! Why would you be?" He throws his arms up, looking at you directly. You avoid eye contact. "I wouldn't blame you if you weren't. That guy was seriously messed up."

"You don't know the half of it."

"So tell me."

Growing more irritated by the second, you push yourself up, looking up at Minho. Eyes meeting, he crosses his arms again, holding your glare just as intensely. There's something there- between you. Old tension, feelings of hurt and betrayal. No one knew you like he did, once upon a time, but could you ever get back to that?

Lightly, he brings a hand to your face, the other making its way up your arm, onto your shoulder. You sigh, leaning into the touch. Human connection never felt so good, so needed. He knew exactly how to make you give in.

"I'll tell you the basics," you say quietly, removing yourself from him. You choose to sit back in your chair, Minho getting comfortable on the couch.

"I always imagined myself getting married, having the best night of my life with the one I loved more than anything. I never thought it would be so scary," you begin, closing your eyes.

Images flood your mind; you in front of a floor-length mirror dressed in white, him behind you, pulling your hair back and breathing in your ear. He didn't have to say anything, just gave you that look. Clueless to your plan, he kisses your neck, whispering about how happy he was to finally have you forever. That if you broke this promise, something bad was sure to happen.

"You're mine," a shiver runs down your spine. "Only mine. Understand?"

Blinking back tears, you nod.

"Words, darling."

"Only yours," you whisper, and he smiles. "Always yours."

Pressing a final kiss to your temple, he leaves you alone in the dressing room. Finally, you let yourself break, falling onto your knees with a hand over your mouth to attempt to stifle your sobs. Makeup runs down your cheeks, and you can't breathe.

Someone steps into your room, lets out a gasp; they're by your side in an instant. Through your tears you can barely process Yeji trying to talk to you, trying to calm you down. Eventually your sobs lessen, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.

"Hyun's outside in the car when you're ready," she gives you a firm look. "Are you sure you want this?"

Her eyes are sad, knowing there may be a chance she'll never see you again. She was the only one who knew everything. Of course, you told Minho some stuff, mostly when he pressed you for an answer, but there were things you couldn't share. If you told him, he'd probably end up in jail.

"...then I left with Hyunjin."

Silence. Minho doesn't speak when you finish, just looks at you unblinking. You can't tell what he's thinking, but his fists are clenched at his sides. Shaking his head, he lets out a sharp breath.

"What?" You question. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that if I ever see that guy again, he's dead."

"...this is exactly why I never told you any of this." You can't help but laugh, and he stares at you harder. "As long as I'm here, neither of us should be seeing Yeonjun for a very long time."

Minho looks at you. "You said his name."

"Yeah..." You didn't even realize. "I guess I did."

Quiet settles between you two, less suffocating this time around. Sunlight peeks over the horizon, lighting up the room ever so slightly, and you realize just how tired you are. Yawning, you move over to the couch, draping your legs over Minho's lap. He makes a noise, pretending to shove you off, but you know he doesn't mind if it's you.

A few hours pass before you wake again, and the warmth of Minho is gone. Before you can wonder where he is, the smell of food wafts up the stairs- he's making breakfast. You stretch, wrap the blanket Minho must have put on your during the night around your shoulder, and head down.

"Morning sunshine," you yawn again as he scrapes the eggs onto a plate. "You literally have no food, so you better be happy with eggs again."

Waving him off, you sit, and he brings the plate over. This time, there's toast too, with the slightest bit of jam over it. He brings a matching plate over, sitting across from you this time. You think of last night, the heavy feeling in your chest seeing him again.

"You couldn't have used more jam?"

"No, actually, because like I said before you literally have no food," he rolls his eyes. "I used the rest up."

"We can go out today. Assess the damage of the storm." The eggs are hot, and you burn your tongue on an eager bite. Minho laughs at you. "Shut up." You make sure to blow on your next bite. "People usually are out helping others clear debris after a storm like that, but powerlines might be down more in town, so we have to be careful."

-

The roads are covered in bits of sticks and leaves, but the damage is surprisingly small. A branch fell onto a local shop, so most attention was focused there, allowing you and Minho to pass through nearly unnoticed.

Nearly.

"Oh, Y/n darling, who's your friend?" Mrs. Yang walks over to you slowly, her grandson close behind. "I've never seen him before. Are you new to town?"

"Ah-" Minho glances between you and the little old lady. "Just visiting."

"Well, you should come by sometime," she looks him up and down, a sly smile on her face. "Are you single?"

A blush spreads over Minho's cheeks. You stifle a laugh, he clears his throat, thoroughly embarrassed. Mrs. Yang spots his arm linked through yours.

"Oh! Y/n, you're not as lonely as I thought," she chuckles. Jeongin looks uncomfortable. "Although I thought you were with that boy over at the café... ah, I suppose I can be wrong sometimes." Your eyes grow wide when she winks at you. "I'll see you around, dear. My husband is over at the shop today doing small repairs, the stubborn old fool, so don't worry about coming in later. He really should call someone to do it for him..."

She mumbles the rest of her sentence, holding onto Jeongin for support as she walks away. You and Minho look at each other. This was definitely a great start to showing him around town. There were a lot of places closed up after the storm, so you couldn't show him much, but you stopped outside the little store you worked at.

"There's Mr. Yang," you say, pointing inside. "I don't know him very well, but he's a good boss I guess."

The one place you avoid is the café, but it looms ahead. Although you're sure Chan has probably forgotten about your little, ah, moment, it lingers in your mind. There was no reasonable explanation for his behaviour, or for the letter, or for your laptop becoming sentient, or-

"Helloooo, Earth to Y/n?" Minho grabs your hand, giving you a weird look. "There you are. I'm hungry."

"Hi hungry I'm-"

"Shut up." Letting go of your hand, he smacks your arm playfully. "The only place I can see nearby that seems to sell food is that guys café."

"That guy has a name," you roll your eyes. "I don't really want to go there..."

"Aren't you like.. a thing? Why wouldn't you want to go?

"We're not- we are not a thing!" You blush, looking away with a huff. "Whatever, fine, let's go."

Walking in, you order quickly and take a seat by the window looking out to the road. There's an unusual amount of people in here, but Chan is nowhere to be seen. Part of you wants to ask the young cashier where he is, but she's too busy. Your order takes a while to arrive, giving you and Minho lots of time to stew in awkward silence. It shouldn't be so weird still, him being here, but you could barely look at him right now.

"Here you go." The waiter brings your plates and drinks, then faces you directly. "Um, the manager- er- Chan, wanted to let you know he might not be able to see you for a while."

"Oh," you're surprised by the sudden comment. "Did he say why?"

"Something about being 'not all there'? I didn't push," they rub their arm anxiously. "Anyway, enjoy your food. It's on the house!"

"Hey wait- aaaand they're gone."

"Smells delicious." Minho takes a forkful, waving it in front of his nose.

"You're just not gonna even acknowledge what that kid said?" He shrugs. "Unbelievable."

"Y/n I can barely wrap my head around anything that's happened in the past 24 hours, forgive me if I let the waiter's weird message for you slide." He takes another bite. "Besides, is it really that weird? Maybe he's just freaked out by you. Chan, not the kid."

You freeze. Maybe he's just freaked out by you.

"Babe, you're a fucking freak," his words ring in your ears. "Seriously. You should be happy I choose to stay with you, 'cause otherwise, you'd be all on your own. Really a pathetic way to live, huh?"

And you can't breathe, fingers turning white by how hard you're gripping the cushion of your seat. But Minho doesn't notice, continuing to eat like he didn't just remind you of everything wrong with you.

●

notes • it is 6am and now that this is done, i'm going back to sleep

taglist • @yongbbokkie @chaeryred @tenebrisirae @toplinelix @chansdoll @amaranth-writing @3rachachoo @linosjureumi @thebrownemo @tfshouldidohere @channie-143

TAGLIST CLOSED ^^^blue means i can't tag you

[lovely-peace]

Ugly lies

Summary: Now that you are over, you wouldn't catch him hung up on somebody that he used to know.

Pairing: Sirius black x slytherin!reader

Warnings: toxic friendship, toxic relationship, insecurities, reader and sirius are ex lovers, not me writing another fic to this song, after just writing the other one-

Wanna know the whole story? This is only a parallelism of another story. It's called Loving Lies, of which the prologue is here reimagined from a different point of view. Wc: 2.4k

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over

"You're looking at him again."

I quickly lowered my gaze to my food. I poked at my food until I realized that I wasn't hungry at all. Phina sighed.

"This is getting pathetic. He wasn't even a good boyfriend, was he?" her voice sounded so distant.

"Why didn't you invite me go your game?" I asked him.

He looked away. "You wouldn't have liked it anyway."

I looked up again. There he was sitting. He was laughing with his friends, who were probably telling the best jokes in the universe. Unlike mine.

"Didn't he often just leave you alone? Didn't take care of you at parties?" Cassie quietly joined phina.

"Do you want to leave?" My voice was shaking as I stared up at him.

He sighned. "Told you you wouldn't like it. At least let me enjoy it."

My heart stopped for a moment when I thought of him. All the things he had done. But weren't we such a good match?

If only he had cared about me.

"He forgot my birthday." My voice didn't sound like me at all.

"Why are you that mad at me? What did I even do?" His voice was so so loud.

"Forget it." I hissed at him.

"So you know it's pathetic. Eat instead of looking at Sirius' lips."

But had me believing it was always something that I'd done

"Are you that indifferent to me, Sirius? At least look at me!" Why was I even talking to him? What was my goal?

Here I was, sitting in a party, throwing my self-esteem out the window again. A beggar woman. That was me.

"Please leave me alone." Sirius turned away from me, his drink almost spilling over.

"Why are you acting like this? I know I may have hurt you, but that doesn't mean I can't make it up to you!" my voice sounded pathetic.

Why was I like this? I was usually better than this, why was I begging like this?

"We're over. Let it go." His voice was getting harder and harder. "Go back to Whisky and tell her how much I sucked."

He looked at me with hardened eyes.

"But it's your fault we're apart."

My body shuddered. Something was breaking me from the inside and I wanted to cry.

"Are you serious?"

He snorted and looked away again. "You cheated on me." he reminded me, as he had so many times in the last few days.

"After you treated me like a decoration for weeks." I whispered and looked at the floor.

"What did you say?" his eyebrows drew together and I couldn't bear to look at him.

"Forget it." I hissed and disappeared to my friends.

After being bumped into by several people, I made it to Cassie and Phina who gave me disappointed looks.

"What?" I was irritated.

"You've got something there." Phina said, pointing to her cheek.

As I wiped my cheek, it was wet.

And I don't wanna live that way

"I'll let it go."

Cassie gave me a worried look. "That's what you said last time."

I shook my head. "I'll stick to it this time."

Phina yawned. "Heard it all before." She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Get a grip."

I wanted to punch her, but I refrained from doing so. Just lean back and enjoy the music. But I found it so hard to lose myself in the crowd.

"I'm going to whisky." I stood up. "She'll get lost otherwise."

"Yeah, yeah." Phina waved her hand at me. "Just don't get lost yourself."

I swayed around in the crowd while my eyes searched for the Hufflepuff girl. Did she miss me?

Probably not.

I walked slowly near the bar where I had left her last time. She never wanted to dance and at some point I had stopped trying to get her to.

But then I saw him. He was standing far too close to her. So close that she leaned back a little, as if she didn't like it.

Was this his way of getting revenge? Maybe.

In any case, I wouldn't put up with it.

"Sirius!!!" I shouted sounding like I saw him for the first time this evening. Good.

I ran towards them, trying to hug him, but he dodged me. But if he wanted to play this game, I could too.

"Could you please let go of me?" Sirius' eyes were narrowed as he looked at me and I did the face he always liked.

"You're so cold, Siri!" I said the horrible nickname before letting him go.

Sirius rolled his eyes in like he hated me. "I wonder where that comes from."

I tried to shake his look of. "Come on, Sirius, you can stop pretending to hate me. You know it was nothing serious with him!"

He snorted and wrinkled his nose. "I know it wasn't serious. You were making out with three other guys that week, and those are just the ones I know of."

What? How could he say this in front of her!

I glanced briefly at whisky, only to get a horrified look, then focused back on Sirius. "You broke my heart! You can't blame me for wanting to have some fun!" The words sounded pathetic.

"I don't know how much 'fun' you've had during our relationship, and honestly, I don't want to know." Sirius hisssd, turning away from me. To her.

"Where were we? Oh yes, preparing for the party! Yes, we had a lot of fun, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Have you danced yet?"

I snorted. "Oh, please, Whisky and dancing?" I felt the alcohol in my system. "Come on, stop pretending you're actually interested in her; it won't make me jealous!"

He didn't even turn around; he didn't find it necessary to look into my eyes. "Did I talk to you? No, I didn't. And unlike you, I don't talk to people just to use them, so shut up!"

I felt like vomiting as he spouted this lies. Lies, lies, lies. And to make it even worse he asked her again. "Have you danced yet?" She shook her head slowly and I couldn't stand looking at the scene before me. How she let him toy with her and me.

I could hear his devilish smile as he spoke, even though I was right behind him. "Would you like to dance with me?"

As he extended his hand towards her I sharply inhaled. "Sirius, you're acting ridiculous, don't you realize? I mean, why are you asking her when I'm right here-"

"CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I REALLY WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU??" his yelling breaking my mind, my thoughts and my voice.

And as I looked at my friend I couldn't keep the words inside of me.

"I hate you!" I screamed. Turning away and running from this sad, pathetic scene. From her lovingly gaze at him.

Reading into every word you say

I tried to pull myself together in the restroom like phina had told me. Crying about him? That really wasn't necessary! Wasn't it?

My hands were shaking as I tried to reapply my mascara.

And then she came in.

I cleared my throat and looked away from her in the mirror. "There you are. I thought I had lost my best friend to that wannabe Casanova."

I saw her looking at my face and starting to look unsure, almost a little angry. "I thought you were -" She started, but I tried laughing her voice away.

"Those crocodile tears I pulled out? They were just for show." I went for my make-up again to cover up my lies. I sighed playfully as I had done so many times before.

"But now I have to redo my eyeliner! Well, hopefully, he feels guilty now and comes begging for my forgiveness!" He won't.

"I thought you weren't feeling well. I thought you needed my help!" Her voice trembled almost as much as mine. But she really had no reason to. No, she had to like what was happening, didn't she?

"Come on, Whisky, it's not a big deal. I'm just trying to get back together with my ex-boyfriend; after all, he broke my heart!"

The words were so easy to say. Like I was following a script.

"And he's just as terrible. I mean, asking you to dance in front of me? He's trying to use you against me, that bastard! You should be much more upset about it!"

"I don't think-" She looked at the floor.

And I laughed.

Not because what she said wasn't true. No, rather because it was true.

"Please, Whisky, as if he ever really wants to have anything to do with you! He was a jerk to you from the moment we first met; you just don't interest him!"

I could see her slowly falling apart. I suppressed my pity and my gloating.

"Whisky, please don't cry again. I don't mean it in a mean way; I'm just being realistic." I wasn't being realistic at all. I was probably the bad girlfriend in the script.

When I heard her tears, I hugged her. "I just want to protect you. He will only take advantage of you. I don't want to see you hurt, especially not because of him. Isn't one broken heart because of Sirius enough?"

Something inside me turned as she nodded and cried in my arms. I hated comforting her now. To help her when she had nothing to cry about.

"Come on, that's enough crying now; you'll ruin my dress." I finally tried to push her weak little arms away.

After an infinitely long time, she let go of me and washed her face.

I took her arm as if to prove something. I didn't know what. "Come on, we can leave. By now, he should feel guilty enough."

And I went ahead. As I always did.

I just wanted to put the thoughts in my head to sleep. Switch off and live. But that was so hard.

"I really need a drink," I whispered to the girl who was clinging to me. She nodded like a doll.

James was sitting at the bar with Peter, discussing something. James smiled like he did before every 'prank'.

"Bartender!" I shouted, ready to play along.

"What can I get for our snake?" James asked with a sugary voice and a fake smile.

I didn't let his remark show. "Your humor is still in the basement, Potter."

"I think it's yours that's in the basement, considering you took that as a joke. I was quite serious." he retorted.

I placed my order and made my way to my friends. They were both sitting in the same place.

"It took you a long time." Cassie gave me that worried look again.

Phina gave me a little look and shook her head again. "You're lost again."

I was silent this time.

"She has your order." Cassie said and laughed when she saw Whisky standing there. I laughed along contrivedly and made my way back to her.

She smiled as she held out my lemonade. "Here."

The drink was a little darker than normal. And in this poor lighting in a party, that shouldn't have meant anything, but I knew James. And Sirius, too.

Their drink was a normal color. And it upset me. That disgustingly normal color.

And then I did it.

You said that you could let it go

"Omg, I just don't understand you! Your best friend is in there and you're out here laughing like nothing happened!" Suddenly he acted like he cared what I did. I would have loved to hit him.

"And here I thought you were following me to apologize." A lie. I never believed that.

Sirius took a sharp breath. "Are you even listening to me? Your friend was just humiliated in front of everyone, why don't you go in and see her?"

I took a deep breath and tried to sound strong.

"Just because something stupid happened to her, and she's hiding in the restroom, doesn't mean I should let it ruin my fun too. Fuck, if we hadn't swapped drinks on a whim, I'd have the green hair, right? I can be thankful for that; that would've been the worst!"

"What do you even like about me?" I asked him as a joke, but there was so much more to the question.

He laughed. "I loooove your hair."

His voice got louder. So unbearably loud. "Is it always just about you? Wait, I know it is, I've been with you long enough. You're one of the most selfish and narcissistic people I know! There's your reason why I don't want anything to do with you!"

I laughed like a psychopath.

"Now I'm the bad one? Oh please, Sirius, don't make a fool of yourself! I think we both know why her hair is now this disgusting green. You and your friends wanted to dye my hair because you know how much I care about it!"

I knew that would hurt him. Because it was about her. "Your actions have consequences, Sirius. You know you're to blame for her crying her eyes out in there."

But he didn't say anything in response. No, he just looked down and confirmed what I had known for so long.

My thoughts and feelings were all over the place and I wanted to puke.

The sharp bang afterwards woke me up. I slapped him. "Are you going to check on her now?" he said, so unbearably calm and composed.

"You know what, Sirius? Fuck you, seriously!" I spat out the words.

"Instead of apologizing to me for this prank, I'm now supposed to clean up your mess!"

"She has the green hair, not you. She's your friend; I don't think she wants to see me. Besides, it's the girls' restroom." Sirius said, almost accusingly.

"That's your problem. I don't have to cling to my friends all the time like a parasite; I'm allowed to have some fun too!"

I ran away from him. Away from her. From these so unfair people.

And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

"Stop staring at them." Phina's voice was so annoyed.

I poked at my food until I realized that I wasn't hungry at all. Phina sighed but didn't say anything.

My fork pierced a piece of chicken that I used to love to eat and now loathed. How did it come to this?

How did I let it come to this?

I looked up again. Looked at my former best friend, who was now sitting by his side.

And when I saw the sparkle in his eyes, I remembered.

"I don't love you." he had told me.

He never said anymore.

So it was no surprise that he didn't mourn me.

Yes, it wasn't even a surprise that he was now dating my former best friend.

[roadkillremi]

SEQUEL to - Please, Don't kill me, Mr.Ghostface

Randy Meeks x Fem!Reader

Masterlist Part 2 on Masterlist

Warnings : mentions Sex, language, mentions dying, mentions Killing, Reader has hallucinations (If I miss anything let me know)

I do NOT support killing

Summary : After the 1996 Woods borrow murders, will you move on? Attending college with some old friends and making new ones. Your past stalking you at times making everything difficult.

"Can you tell me what you were thinking when he was going to kill your friends?"

The clocked ticked loudly on the wall, you fidgeted picking your nails.

"Disgusted, trapped, with myself to be exact. If I didn't say anything I'd get hurt. If I did if get hurt. There's nothing I could do about it."

She nodded scrabbling on the notebook paper.

"And it's said you stabbed Billy Loomis 17 times. Is that correct?"

"I didn't count. I just... Did it. It was either that or die."

"I know."

"I don't wanna talk about Billy." You looked out the window not being able to face her.

"Let's talk about your visions then.".

You nodded still looking out the window with a soft gaze.

"I got a call from your Aunt. She said according to the teacher you started yelling in class. Cause you saw... Them.".

You nodded, "Yes."

"They're dead they can't hurt you."

"I know. But nightmares can't die."

She sighed, "You're suffering from PTSD, it's not strange to suffer after a traumatic event. Sydney, Randy, and Gale are doing fine. Sydneys getting through it maybe you can talk to her-"

"Sydney's rich and popular. She has the ability... To be loved easily."

"You don't know Sydney's life-"

"But I know mine!" You turned to her.

"Tell me about school."

"People look at me like I'm a zombie or something. I mean since someone died the exams aren't a big deal... People think I'm a killer... Ever since Gale... Did a short read of her upcoming book..."

"Self defense is not murder."

"Yes, I know! Still hurts. The only reason I got into college is because of being a victim. I don't even know what to major in."

"Don't you like movies? Major in directing."

"that's Randy's thing. I love movies, but I don't wanna make them."

"just come up with a list and think it through. How's your sleeping been?"

You looked down at your lap, "It's hard to sleep. I have bad dreams and wake up.".

"have you tried a-"

"Routine. Yes. Sometimes Randy spends the night."

She raised her eyebrow, "Not like that!".

"Mhm." She wrote something down.

"Do you think im a killer?" You looked at her deeply. She looked up at you and didn't speak for a moment.

"I think you're an angry child with a rough past seeking the love you didn't have."

"That wasn't my question."

"No, you're not a killer."

"You hesitated."

"This isn't about me. Its about you."

Silence filled the room back up again.

"I'm scared I'll kill again."

You folded your graphic tees into a box. Music played in the background as you packed up. The last week you've been packing for college. Surprisingly Sydney asked to be roommates, you said yes.

Your room was almost empty now, you sat on your bed.

"Finally running away from here?"

Billy appeared next to you, he leaned down to see your face.

"You're not real."

"I'm real to you."

You didn't look towards him, you closed your eyes trying to focus on breathing.

"You can't shut me out!" He yelled.

"Go away, Billy!" You yelled back. Your Aunt rushed in at the sound of you yelling.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just a nightmare." You stood up.

"Okay. Well Randy called, he's on his way. So get ready to pack up his car." She gave a pathetic smile and walked away. You sighed putting shoes on before taking boxes near the front door. Randy pulled up walking in the house, ever since the killing he seemed to peak. He had more muscle and wore shirts that showed it, he even grew out a small beard. He wasn't the only thing that change in the summer though.

People around you took note about how you seemed more free than usual. You got to dress in clothes without Billy saying you looked whorish. Not only that but you randy had sex, a lot. In his car, in your room, even at his work. There was of course close calls but nothing to serious. He got better at sex the more you two did it. Sometimes it was passionate and loving, others were more rough and animalistic.

"God, I'm not gonna have room for all this!" Randy exclaimed mentioning the boxes. You rolled your eyes, "It's everything, clothes, bedding, school supplies, all of it.".

Randy grabbed a box letting out a small huff. You patted his back, "you got this.".

"You better help that boy!" Your Aunt yelled out.

"Yeah!" Randy mocked smiling. You grabbed a box following him to the car. The trunk had all of Randy's bags stuffed into there. He placed the boxes in the back seat. You huffed back and forth between the car and the house.

"That's all of them!" You yelled out to Randy. He slammed the car door shut, "Thank God!" He cried over dramatically.

Your Aunt hugged you tightly sniffling, "Call when you can. Stay safe.".

"I will, I love you." You hugged her back tightly.

Months later

You banged on Randy's door, "Randy Meeks! Get your ass up!". He got drunk with his roommate, Paul last night. He called you slurring his words telling you how much he loves you. He opened the door, "Sorry, I was getting dress!".

"You look like shit." You laughed. His hair a bit messy and bags under his eyes.

"You look amazing too, darling" he said in a British accent.

You walked to class with him holding his hand. Some girls snickered at you as you passed them. Randy glanced at them, "What's their problem?".

"Don't worry about it. You know how some women are, don't grow out of the popularity in high school." You sighed.

"Pfft, yeah tell me about it." He said leaning close to your ear. His hot breath tickling the side of your face.

A frisbee passed by in front of you two, "Couldn't have caught it?! Dick.." some guy said running after it.

"See?" Randy gestured. You rolled your eyes, "Come on Mr.Meeks we have a film class to get to!".

"You know how I get when you call me that." He joked. You jokingly gave him a look, "You'll just have to rub it out in the bathroom.". He smiled hugging you from behind picking you up a bit.

"Or I could fuck you when Paul's gone"

You laughed tapping his arm to let you go. "Poor Paul needs a break from us pounding like dogs in there." You said walking into the building. Randy caught up with you, "Well this dogs ready to pounce.". He sprayed mouth spray in his mouth winking at you.

[resi4skz]

CODE 0325

Pairing: nonidol!Chan x fem!Reader

Synopsis: Y/N is on a tinder date but needs to be rescued.

Warnings: close proximity, fluff?, what even is this

"Uh huh, that's nice," I say, nodding with a fake smile as I make quick work with my hands, unzipping my bag from under the table.

"Yeah? You want to see my work? I'd love to take you," says the man, Tim, my tinder date. "Heck, I'd even sculpt you. You'd make a great subject."

Fuck me. Someone save me from this lunatic. "Would you excuse me for one second?" I quickly press my best friend, Lisa's number on the screen ans hold it to my ear.

After 3 rings, she picks up. "So how's tinder date going?"

"There's supposed to be a package coming at 3:25pm today for me."

"Oh, shit. Okay. Uh, okay." I hear her curse on the other line. "Fuck, Y/N, I can't come to you. I'll ask Channie for help. He's much closer to where you are."

I close my eyes, mentally cursing at myself. "Fine. Just be on the lookout, alright?"

I hang up and smile towards Tim. "Sorry about that."

"You know it's rude to use your phone on a date."

Who made him the police?

"I'm sorry but I run a bakery and there was this very important package that's supposed to come today."

"Uh huh," he sips on his drink. "You'd have no problem if I ask you to come back to my place. To see my projects."

Barf.

"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to decline." Time to get the fuck out of here.

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"What is it with you women? Is it because a man calls you pretty, you think you're high and mighty?"

I grab my cardigan and sling over my bag over my shoulder. "It's when guys like you think you own a woman on the first date? You're the least in my league." I turn on my heels to leave when a harsh grip on my arm stops me. "Ow! What the fuck? Let go!"

"You slut. Wearing that dress in front of me, you're asking for it," Tim snarls as I try to wriggle my arm free.

"Let. Her. Go."

We both freeze and turn towards the voice.

"Channie." I watch him walk over to me, his eyes on Tim. Those eyes that make a upside down crescent when he laughs. The same eyes that made me fall for him. He was wearing a white tanktop with a red flannel on top and jeans with white sneakers.

"This is none of your business," Tim snaps back.

"I'm about to be your business if you don't let go of my girl's arm," Channie snarls back. My cheeks grows warm at the sound of him calling me his girl.

"Your girl? She didn't mention she had a boyfriend," Tim replies, letting go of my arm.

"She does now," Channie answers back, taking my hand and turning to leave.

But the asshole had to open his mouth right as we got close to the exit. "Yeah. That's right. She's a slut anyway! How do you expect men to react when she dresses like that?"

"Fuck this," Channie mutters as he turns back, walks staright to the guy and punches him. Right in the nose, sending him on the floor. Out cold.

My jaw hangs open. Since when does Chan know how to box? He takes my hands again and we're out the restaurant. It isn't until we're near his studio when I let go of his hand, which makes him turn around. "I should go home."

"What? Why?"

"So I can crawl in my bed. And sleep."

"Y/N, it's 2 in the afternoon on a Friday."

"So?"

He lets out a sigh. "You're-"

"I'm what, Channie? Pathetic? A big loser? Because I already know that."

"Y/N, that's not what I-"

"I don't need anyone telling me what I already know, especially you."

"Would you for one second listen to me?!"

I flinch at his raised voice. "But it's true. I have the worst taste in men."

"Maybe you haven't found the right guy yet."

"Huh?" I blink. "What do you mean?"

"Have you ever felt that thrill or felt goosebumps with any of the men you've went on a date with?"

"No?"

He takes a step closer and I can almost get a whiff of his perfume. "You ever feel the need to grab him by the neck," his hand rests against the right side of my neck, his long and gentle fingers splayed, "and get the urge to kiss him?"

I shake my head. "Not even when he's this close," he gets a bit closer till I can feel his breath on my nose, "to you?"

I visbly gulp but shake my head. There are tons of goosebumps going through my body. "Not even when he does this?" He dips his head, tilting slightly as he leans in and places a gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth. But he lets go way too soon.

More. I need more. Fisting his shirt, I reel him back in. His hands immediately slide around my waist as our mouth play tango. He taste like mint and vanilla. My heart pounds in my chest as he lets out a soft moan, igniting our kiss into a passionate embrace. It was like time stood still, the world fading away around me. I slide my hands around his neck, our lips never leaving each other.

Each brush of his lips sent intoxicating waves through my veins. "Why haven't we done this before?" Chan pants when we finally come up for air.

I let out a breathy laugh. "I don't know. You're the one that kissed me."

"That's because I like you."

"Y-you do?" Am I dreaming?

"Yeah, ever since Lisa introduced us."

"What?" Shocked was an understatement but that's what I was feeling right now. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"You seem to forget I'm shy when it comes to these things."

"Channie, if you would've said something sooner, we wouldn't be in this situation. If you had told me, I wouldn't have gone on those dates."

His shoulders sag, and he groans closing his eyes. "You mean to tell me that all this time I would've had you?"

I giggle, booping his nose with my finger. "Yes."

He then takes my hand and starts walking the opposite direction.

"Wait, your studio is the other way!" I exclaim.

"I know."

"Where are we going?"

"To the only place where I can do something I've always wanted to do with you."

"Which is?"

His grip on my hand tightens, intertwining his fingers with mine. "My place."

A/N: heh. i need to be placed in a cell because i wanted to make this into a much more.... more...well yaknow 🙃

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

i've seen some other people do this, so let me share some songs that remind me of catradora.

Adora's POV:

“Her eyes and words are so icy

Oh but she burns

Like rum on the fire

Hot and fast and angry as she can be

I walk my days on a wire.”

[…]

The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine

Open hand or closed fist would be fine

Blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.”

— Cherry Wine, Hozier

•

“L-O-V-E damn 4 letters

You sugar-coat it with L-O-V-E every time

Selfish, I will never be enough

Even when I pour out all of myself for you.

[…]

As long as you love me

The good or the ugly

Everything is alright

It’s like you control me

Without you I’m lonely

But you don't feel the same.”

— Gunshot, KARD

•

“You said it was true love, but wouldn't that be hard?

You can't love anyone cause that would mean you had a heart

I tried you help you out, now I know that I can't

Cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand.

[…]

I used to think I was smart

But you've made me look so naive

The way you sold me for parts

As you sunk your teeth into me.”

— Vampire, Olivia Rodrigo

•

“You only think of yourself

As if that’s natural

I’ve been foolish enough to try to please you

It tortures me, keeping me lonely till the end.

[…]

I have to adjust to you

Every time, that’s okay

It repeats like this every day

If you're taking advantage of my kindness

There's something wrong with that.”

— Egotistic, MAMAMOO

•

“The stars, the moon

They have all been blown out

You've left me in the dark

No dawn, no day

I'm always in this twilight

In the shadow of your heart

[…]

I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map

And knew that somehow I could find my way back

Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too

So I stayed in the darkness with you.”

— Cosmic Love, Florence + The Machine

•

“Hey girl, wake up

There are better people out there

But even though he acts like that

There's still some good in him.

[…]

So foolish, I'm being manipulated

So stupid, should I break up or…?

This is the end, yes, bye bye

I want to say it but I can't

I'm frustrated but I'm stuck on you

I'm still into you.”

— TRAP, AAA (Misako & Chiaki)

(just replace “he” with “she”)

•

“I can’t stop, I found you

But feels like I’m the only one who feels this way, it makes me mad

I don’t understand

But hurting this much? I’m used to it

[…]

Don’t pity me, no, do as you always did

Because that’s you

Even if you break my heart

And spit out careless words

It’s only you for me.

[…]

I don’t want to be obvious

What if you think I’m weak?

I’m so pathetic, pathetic.”

— Love & Hate / Worthless, Moon Byul

•

“If it was for you I could

Pretend to be happy even when I was sad

If it was for you I could

Pretend to be strong even when I was hurting

[…]

Love you so bad

I molded a pretty lie for you

Love it's so mad

Try to erase myself and make me your doll.”

— Fake Love, BTS

•

“I’m falling endlessly

And you’re playing with me

You got me losing my mind, you intruder

It’s so dangerous I want it

Even if it costs all the pain.

[…]

Oh god, why are you leading me into temptation? Is it a call from hell?

Can’t stop, how am I going to escape from her?

The self-control you gave me has torn in pieces in the dark black hole

Can’t control myself, it’s like sugarcoated poison.”

— Oh My God, (G)I-DLE

•

“My sensitivity making me tense

Your honesty stabbing my heart

Why does this only apply to me? It’s too unfair

[…]

I’m not easy I hate that

I adjusted to you

I loved you more than me.”

— Easy, Wheein

Catra's POV:

“I'm breaking every rule

I want to keep tormenting you

[…]

Hate me as you want, I don't care

The more you break, the more you'll want me.

[…]

I swear I need you, my desires are growing

I’m playing with you like a kid

Hovering like your shadow and whispering to you

I’m your light and your darkness.”

— 28 Reasons, Kang Seulgi

•

“I don't want none, I just want you

If I can't have you, no one should

[…]

I might kill my ex, I still love him though

Rather be in hell than alone.

[…]

Now I'm in the basement, planning home invasion

Now you laying face-down, got me singing over a beat.”

— Kill Bill, SZA

•

“I’m creepin’ in your heart, babe

I’ll flip you over, break you down and swallow you up

I’ll steal you and indulge in you

I’m gonna mess you up

[…]

I’m a bit impatient

I’m not that gentle (I hated you)

But I want you

That’s right, my type

My heart doesn’t lie.”

— Monster, EXO

•

“You fuel my jealousy

Growing everyday

Following your shadow

I’m with you, in every breath you take.

[…]

Call me evil

I'll show you more

I get what I want,

but I can't get enough.”

— Propose, Dreamcatcher

[layce2015]

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)

When The Levee Breaks

Masterlist pt 1

Masterlist pt 2

"Okay. Let me out. This is not funny." Sam yells as we talk to him through the little barred window in the door. "Damn straight." Dean growls. "Dean, come on. This is crazy." Sam exclaims. "No. Not until you dry out." Dean said. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you and to (y/n). Just open the door." Sam said and I wrap my arms around myself. "You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. It's not your fault that you lied to us over and over again. I get it now. You couldn't help it." Dean said. 

"I'm not some junkie." Sam yells. "Really? I guess I've just imagined how strung out you've been lately." Dean accused. "You're actually trying to twist this into some kind of ridiculous drug intervention?" Sam asked, angrily. "If it smells like a duck." Dean said, shrugging.  "Dean, I'm not drinking the demon blood for kicks. I'm getting strong enough to kill Lilith." Sam said and I raise an intrigued eyebrow at this.

"Strong?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." Sam said.

"This is about as far away from strong as you can get. Try weak. Try desperate. Pathetic." Dean spat. "Killing Lilith is what matters. Or are you so busy being self-righteous you forgot about her?" Sam growls. "Oh, Lilith's gonna die. Bobby, (y/n) and I will kill her. But not with you." Dean informs. "You're not serious." Sam said, disbelieving. "Congrats, Sammy. You just bought yourself a benchwarmer seat to the apocalypse." Dean said.

"Dean, look—no, wait—" Sam said, quickly, but Dean shuts the window cover. "Come back here. Dean! Let me out of here! Dean! Let me out of here! Let me out! Dean!" Sam shouts as Dean walks away. I sigh and look over at the door for a few moments before I turn away from it while Sam continues to shout.

Bobby pours three glasses of whiskey and hands one to Dean then the other to me. "Stop! Stop!" We hear Sam shout and I frown and look down at the glass of whiskey. "How long is this gonna go on?" Dean asked Bobby  "Here, let me look it up in my demon-detox manual. Oh wait. No one ever wrote one. No telling how long it'll take. Hell, or if Sam will even live through it." Bobby said then the phone rings.

Bobby sighs and answers. "Hello." he answers then his face turns to annoyance and anger. "...Suck dirt and die, Rufus. You call me again, I'll kill you." he yells and hangs up. "What's up with Rufus?" I asked Bobby, curiously. "He knows." Bobby said then the phone rings again and he answers it. "I'm busy, you son of a bitch. This better be important." he said then his face turns to shock and fear.

"The news. The news ain't good." Bobby said as I had my laptop open and looking through some news stories. "This is what Rufus called about? Key West sees ten species go extinct." I said, pointing at the article on screen. "Yep. Plus Alaska. Fifteen-man fishing crew all stricken blind, cause unknown. New York, teacher goes postal, locks the door, kills exactly sixty-six kids. All this in a single day. I looked them up. There's no doubt about it. They're all seals. Breaking. Fast." Bobby said.

"How many are left?" Dean asked. "Who knows? Can't be many. Where the hell are your angel pals?" Bobby asked. "You tell me." Dean said, shrugging. "I'm just wondering." Bobby said, thinking. "What?" Dean asked.

"The apocalypse being nigh and all...is now really the right time to be having this little domestic drama of ours?" Bobby said. "What do you mean?" I asked him. "Well, I don't like this any more than you two do, but Sam can kill demons. He's got a shot at stopping Armageddon." Bobby said. "So what? Sacrifice Sam's life, his soul, for the greater good? Is that what you're saying? Times are bad, so let's use Sam as a nuclear warhead?" Dean asked him, angrily.

"Look, I know you hate me for suggesting it. I hate me for suggesting it. I love that boy like a son. All I'm saying is maybe he's here right now instead of on the battlefield because we love him too much." Bobby said and Dean sighs.

*3rd Person POV*

Dean stands in Bobby's salvage yard and looks around, frustrated, until Castiel appears. "Well, it's about time. I've been screaming myself hoarse out here for about two and a half hours now." Dean said, annoyed. "What do you want?" Castiel asked him. "You can start with what the hell happened in Illinois." Dean said.

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked. "Cut the crap. You were gonna tell me something." Dean growls as he walks up to him. "Well, nothing of import." Castiel said, shrugging. "You got ass-reamed in heaven but it was not of import?" Dean asked him, suspiciously. "Dean, I can't. I'm sorry. Get to the reason you really called me. It's about Sam, right?" Castiel asked.

"Can he do it? Kill Lilith, stop the apocalypse?" Dean asked Castiel. "Possibly, yes. But as you know, he'd have to take certain steps." Castiel said. "Crank up the hell-blood regimen." Dean said and Castiel nods. "Consuming the amount of blood it would take to kill Lilith would change your brother forever. Most likely, he would become the next creature that you would feel compelled to kill. And if you are wondering, since she has similar powers, it would mostly likely happen to (y/n) if she were to consume the blood as well." Castiel explains and Dean sighs.

"There's no reason this would have to come to pass, Dean. We believe it's you, Dean, not your brother nor your girlfriend. The only question for us is whether you're willing to accept it. Stand up and accept your role. You are the one who will stop it." Castiel said and Dean gives him a curious look.

"If I do this, Sammy doesn't have to?" Dean asked him. "If it gives you comfort to see it that way." Castiel said and Dean rolls his eyes. "God, you're a dick these days." He grumbles and he walks a few steps away and sighs.

"Fine, I'm in." he said. "You give yourself over wholly to the service of God and his angels?" Castiel asked. "Yeah, exactly." said Dean. "Say it." Castiel demands. "I give myself over wholly to serve God and you guys." Dean said, firmly. 

"You swear to follow his will and his word as swiftly and obediently as you did your own father's?" Castiel asked. "Yes, I swear." Dean said and Castiel nods a bit. "Now what?" Dean asked him. "Now you wait, and we call on you when it's time." Castiel said.

*(y/n)'s POV*

"Bobby! Dean! (Y/n)! Help! Hey! Hey! Guys! Guys! Help! Dean! (Y/n)!" Sam's voice screams while Bobby and I stare at Dean, shocked at what he just told us. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you willingly signed up to be the angels' bitch?" Bobby asked Dean, who gives him a look. "I'm sorry. You prefer sucker?" Bobby asked, sarcastically.

"After everything you said about them, now you trust them?" I asked Dean, suspiciously. "Come on, give me a little credit, (y/n). I've never trusted them less. I mean, they come on like shady politicians from planet Vulcan." Dean said.

"Then why in the hell did you—" Bobby started to ask but Dean talks over him. "Because what other option do I have? It's either trust the angels or let Sammy trust a demon?" Dean said and Bobby nods. "I see your point." I said and then we realized that it was strangely quite.

"You hear that?" Dean asked us. "Yeah, that's a little too much nothing." Bobby said and we hurry to the basement and open the window in the door. Sam is on the floor of the panic room, having a seizure.

"What if he's faking?" Dean asked and I turn to him. "You really think he would?" I asked him. "I think he'd do anything." Dean said but then Sam slams against the wall by an invisible force. "That ain't faking." Bobby said and we throw open the door and charge in to get Sam down and pin him to the cot.

"We're gonna have to tie him down for his own safety." Bobby said as he and I hold Sam down. I look over send see Dean standing, looking at his brother in horror. "Dean? You with us?" I asked him but he stands there, frozen. "Dean! Before he has another fit." Bobby said and Dean shakes his head. "Yeah, yeah. Let's just get it over with." He said and he comes over to us and helps us tie Sam down to the bed.

And I start to wonder if what we are doing is the right thing to do. If anything...I think we are making it worse on Sam.

Dean and I were standing in one of the spare bedrooms while Bobby was in the living room, I was pacing around the room. "I'm gonna ask one more time. Are we absolutely sure we're doing the right thing?" I asked Dean. "(Y/n), you saw what was happening to him down there. The demon blood is killing him." He said and I shake my head at this.

"No, it isn't. We are." I said. "What?" Dean asked me, disbelief, and I stop my pacing and stand before him. "I'm sorry. I can't bite my tongue any longer. We're killing him. Keeping him locked up down there. This cold-turkey thing isn't working. If—if he doesn't get what he needs, soon, Sam's not gonna last much longer." I said. "No. I'm not giving him demon blood. I won't do it." Dean said, firmly.

"And if he dies?" I asked him. "Then at least he dies human!" Dean shouts at me and I jump back a bit at this. "Dean, you don't mean that." I said. "I'm sorry, (y/n). It's just...I would die for him in a second, but I won't let him do this to himself. I can't. I guess I found my line. I won't let my brother turn into a monster." He said.

“What if he doesn’t?” I asked. “What?” Dean asked, confused. “What if he doesn’t become a monster? Sure, he’s been acting different lately but it’s still Sam in there.” I said. “He’s got demon blood in him!” Dean exclaimed. “So do I! Did you forget that?! Hell, what if…” I began to say. “Don’t say it!” Dean growled, shaking his head slightly in irritation. “What if I take some demon blood too?” I suggested.

“Shut up, (y/n)!” Dean yelled at me. “No! Listen to me! I can control it.” I yelled back. “Stop.” Dean commanded. “You’ll see nothing happens to me and…” I started to say, but was interrupted by Dean lunging forward and grabbing me by my upper arms.

“I can’t lose you too!” He shouted in my face and I stared back at him, speechless. The rage on Dean’s face loses it’s strength and he now looks broken. “I…I can’t.” He said, his voice breaking. He lowers his head, loosening his grip on my arms. “I’m not strong enough.” He admitted, tearfully. My heart shattered hearing the heartache in his voice and seeing the look of defeat in his eyes. “Dean.” I whispered, my eyes welling up with tears. 

“Please…just stop.” Dean pleaded, keeping his head lowered. I gently slip my arms free from his hands to pull him into a hug. Dean readily returns the hug, squeezing me tight and burying his face into my hair, like he was afraid to let me go. 

"Okay...I'm-I'm sorry...I-I-I just...I just wanted to help." I stammered to him, in a whisper, as we continue to hold each other, I run my hand up and down his back. Then I feel him holding me tighter to him. "You're not gonna lose me. I promise." I whispered as I bury my face into his chest then raised my left hand to his chest and fiddled with the amulet that always hung around his neck.

*3rd Person POV*

After arguing with his hallucinations, the cuffs on Sam's arms and legs snap open then the door opens. Sam sits up, staring; he knows he didn't do this. "Hello?" He calls out but no answer. He gets up and slips out the door.

"Someone here?" He calls out and, again, no answer. Sam hurries quietly out of the basement without noticing Castiel behind the stairs. From a distance, the angel closes and locks the panic room door.

Later, Castiel stands at a railing of the riverfront, looking over the water. The streetlights flicker and he turns to see Anna standing there. "What did you do?" She asked him, a bit of fear in her voice. "You shouldn't have come, Anna." Castiel said, flatly.

"Why would you let out Sam Winchester?" Anna asked him. "Those were my orders." Castiel said. "Orders? Cas, you saw him. He's drinking demon blood. It's so much worse than we thought. Dean was trying to stop him." Anna said. "You really shouldn't have come." Castiel said just as two angels appear on either side of Anna. White light illuminates Castiel; when it is gone, so are the other three angels.

Castiel turns back to the river, staring out at the water. "What did you do, Cas?" A voice demanded and he turns to see Ariel standing near him, her face full of anger. "Ariel." He greets, plainly. "What did you do?" She asked again, emphasizing each word with anger. "Like I told Anna, my orders." Castiel said and Ariel looks at him, concerned.

“You can’t fool me, Castiel.” She said, Castiel tilts his head slightly, in confusion. “I see it on your face, you regret following those orders.” She said, Castiel turns away so she can no longer see his face.

“I am an angel of the Lord.” Castiel said, as if that would change anything. “Do not talk as if you don’t have a mind of your own.” Ariel sneered, crossing her arms. “I serve heaven, I do not serve man.” Castiel growled, turning slightly to glare at her.

“If that was true, you would not have taken Jimmy Novak back as your vessel after he pleaded for you to let his daughter go.” Ariel pointed out, Castiel averts his gaze. “You regret letting Sam Winchester out. Regret breaking Dean Winchester’s trust. Regret turning Anna over.” Ariel listed off and Castiel’s closes his eyes, trying to shut her words out.

“I do not feel any regret. I am simply following my orders.” He said. “And you’re only doing that because you’re scared.” Ariel replied, Castiel goes quite unable to rebut such a statement.

"They really did a number on ya, didn't they?" Ariel said as she looks him as Castiel stands there in silence. "You shouldn't be here." Castiel said and Ariel sighs and shakes her head. "I'm very disappointed in you, Castiel." She said before she disappears, leaving Castiel alone as he starts to feel a twinge of guilt.

Sam begins to work on stealing a car when a gun cocks behind him. "Uh-uh, Sam. The only place you're going is back inside with me." Bobby said, gun aimed at him, as Sam turns to him. "No." Sam said, firmly. "Damn it, boy." Bobby growls.

"You won't shoot me, Bobby." Sam said. "Don't test me." Bobby said, his voice slightly shaking. "You won't do it. You can't do it." said Sam. "We're trying to help you, Sam." Bobby said then Sam takes hold of Bobbh's shotgun so that he can't aim anywhere but point-blank at Sam.

"Then shoot." Sam challenges and there was a long pause before Sam takes the gun and knocks Bobby down, then throws the gun on the ground and returns to hotwiring the car.

Once he does that, he drives off.

*(y/n)'s POV*

Bobby, Dean and I unlock and open the panic room door after Bobby told us that Sam got out and knocked him out. "How the hell did he get out?" I asked, confused. "Maybe he had help. Room full of busted devil's traps." Bobby said. "Demons? Ruby." Dean said, questioning. "That'd be my guess." Bobby said.

"How did she even touch the door?" I asked them. "You two think she's got the mojo?" Bobby asked us "I didn't think so. I don't know, man." Dean said as I shrug. "What difference does it make? How he got gone ain't as important as where he got gone to." Bobby said.

"Well, I'll tell you one thing. At this point I hope he's with Ruby." Dean said. "Why?" I asked him. "'Cause killing her's the next big item on my to-do list." He replied. "I thought you were on call for angel duty." Bobby questions. "I am on call. In my car, on my way to murder the bitch." Dean growls as he leaves the room and Bobby and I follow him.

"One thing." Bobby said and Dean stops and turns to him. "What?" He asked. "Sam don't wanna be found, which means he's gonna be damn near impossible to find." Bobby said. "Yeah, we'll see." Dean mutters.

"Police found my car. Abandoned in an alley in Jamestown, North Dakota." Bobby tells us after about a few hours of research. "He's switching up." Dean said, a bit impressed. "Any other cars stolen in Jamestown?" I asked Bobby. "Two. 1999 Honda Civic, blue. Nice and anonymous, like Sam likes." Bobby said.

"What was the other one?" Dean asked him. "White oh-five Escalade with custom rims. It's a neon sign." Bobby replied. "You're right. He'd never take that. Which is exactly what he did." Dean said. "You think?" Bobby asked. "I know that kid. All right, (y/n) and I'll head in that direction. You stay here, ride the police databases. We gotta find him quick." Dean said and he and I walk out of Bobby's house and get into the Impala.

We had been on the road for awhile when Dean's phone rings. He pulls it out of his pocket then hands it to me to answer as he focuses on driving. I look to see it was Bobby calling and I push the answer call and put the phone on speaker

"Cops found the Escalade in a ditch outside Elk River." Bobby said. "How far away are we?" I asked him. "A couple of hours. I pulled up a weather map, made some calls. There's a town not far from there, Cold Spring. Lighting up with demon sign." Bobby replied. "A good place to look." Dean said, determined.

"Hey, listen." Bobby said, quickly. "What?" Dean and I asked. "Us finding Sam? It's gotta be about getting him back, not pushing him away." Bobby said and it seemed more that this was for Dean than for me, even though I am pissed at Sam as well. "Right." Dean mutters. "I know you're mad, Dean. I understand. You got a right to be, but I'm just saying. Be good to him anyway. You gotta get through to him." Bobby said but Dean doesn't respond.

"(Y/n)..." Bobby said. "Yeah?" I said. "Please, keep the peace between these boys." Bobby pleads and I look over at Dean, who rolls his eyes, slightly, as he keeps them on the road. "I'll try, Bobby." I sighed then I hang up. 

We finally make it to the motel Sam was staying at and hide in the hallway. We looked around the corner and see Sam leaving a room. We watch him go then both of us enter the room, only to find Ruby inside.

She turns to us, surprised, then she begins to attack us and we do our best to fight her off until Sam comes in as I have ahold of Ruby and Dean starts to pull out the knife.

"No. Let her go. Just take it easy." Sam tells us as he pulls Dean away, grabs the knife out of his hand, then pulls me off of Ruby seconds later. "Well, it must've been some party you two had going, considering how hard you tried to keep us from crashing it. Well, solid try, but here we are." Dean said to him, angrily, as I go and stand next to him.

"Dean, I'm glad you two are here. Look. Let's just talk about this." Sam said. "Soon as she's dead, we can talk all you want." Dean growls then Sam turns to Ruby. "Ruby, get out of here." He tells her. "No, she's not going anywhere." Dean said but Ruby runs out and Sam watches her go.

"She's poison, Sam." Dean yells. "It's not what you think, Dean." Sam said. "Look what she did to you, Sam. I mean, she up and vanishes weeks at a time, leaves you cracking out for another hit—" I said to him, concerned. "She was looking for Lilith." Sam defends. "That is French for manipulating your ass ten ways from Sunday." Dean yells. "You're wrong, Dean." Sam said, firmly.

"Sam, you're lying to yourself. I just want you to be okay. You would do the same for me and for (y/n). You know you would." Dean yells. "Just listen." Sam said and he raises his hand then he realized he's still holding Ruby's knife that he took from Dean, and tosses the knife on the bed. "Just listen for a second. We got a lead on a demon close to Lilith. Come with us, guys. We'll do this together." Sam said.

"That sounds great. As long as it's you, me and (y/n). Demon bitch is a dealbreaker. You kiss her goodbye, we can go right now." Dean said but Sam shakes his head. "I can't." Sam said and Dean turns away, nodding. "Sam...you know this is crazy...." I said, trying to talk some sense into him. "(Y/n), I need her to help me kill Lilith. I know you and Dean can't wrap your heads around it, but maybe one day you guys will understand. I'm the only one who can do this, guys." Sam said and Dean turns back around.

"No, you're not the one who's gonna do this." Dean said and Sam scoffs. "Right, that's right, I forgot. The angels think it's you." He grumbles. "You don't think I can?" Dean asked him. "No. You can't. You're not strong enough. And neither is (y/n)." Sam growls and Dean glares at him.

"And who the hell are you?" He asked, angrily. "I'm being practical here. I'm doing what needs to be done." Sam yells. "Yeah? You're not gonna do a single damn thing." Dean said. "Stop bossing me around, Dean. Look. My whole life, you take the wheel, you call the shots, and I trust you because you are my brother. Now I'm asking you, for once, trust me." Sam pleads.

"No. You don't know what you're doing, Sam." Dean said. "Yes, I do." Sam said. "Then that's worse." Dean said, in a soft growl. "Why? Look, I'm telling you—" Sam started to say but Dean talks over him. "Because it's not something that you're doing, it's what you are! It means—" Dean said then he cuts himself off. "What?" Sam asked but Dean doesn't respond.

"No. Say it." Sam said as he has tears in his eyes. "It means you're a monster." Dean said and Sam nods. I bite my lips and tears roll down my cheeks when Sam punches Dean, making him go down hard. "SAM!" I shouted, shocked, as Dean gets back up, stares at Sam then Dean punches him.

"STOP!" I screamed and I go to stand in between them, holding my hands out to them. "Guys, stop, please!" I exclaimed. “Stay out of this.” Dean growled, grabbing me by my shoulders and pushing me out of the way. I lose my balance and fell onto the hardwood floor. I groaned at the now throbbing pain in my head, hearing things in the room break as boys fight. 

I forced myself up, in time to see Dean crash through the divider and land on the glass coffee table that breaks on impact. He hits the floor and doesn’t get up.  Sam pins him down, choking him. "You don't know me. You never did. And you never will." He growled as he continued to choking him.

I raise my hand up and Sam goes flying back then lands on the floor. I keep my hand out as I use my powers to hold Sam down, glaring at him, while walking towards him. He slowly starts to get up but I do my best to hold him back, but he looked like he was fighting against the wind. Then he holds his hand out and I felt a force push me back and I plant my feet firmly against the floor.

“Look at what you're doing! You’re hurting your own family! This isn’t you Sam, it’s the demon blood! C'mon, you're smarter than this!” I shouted at him. “How would you know? You’re too weak to take any. This is me. This is me taking control of my own life for once!” Sam growls then he thrusts his hand forward and I felt a powerful force throw me back and I hit the wall then slide down.

I groan as I land on my front and hear Sam walking. "You walk out that door, don't you ever come back." Dean yells and I raise my head and look at Sam, who stops at the door and turns back, then leaves.

@rach5ive @kitsun369 @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @ellie-andthemachine

[elgascreamslikehell]

Just because I'm spending whole day singing 'I wanna die wanna die' here's a little fluff from the top of my head

Still have no Idea of current rating system so pg? Like nothing cruel only fluff and mi-mi-mi

'You love Buck!'

Eddie knew. Like for a long time. And he means long time as years now. So that wasn't a surprise or anything. He just doesn't understand why it could possibly matter.

'Well, yes. So what's your point?'

Peppa stares at him with her special 'mi sobrino is an idiot' look.

'I spent so much time to find you a perfect date. What for?'

'Still have no idea what are you talking about, you was bored maybe?'

'Edmundo! You're in love with this nice boy. I'm fine with it, i just don't understand why did you keep it a secret? You know i love you and I'm always on your side'.

Eddie nodded. Well, he is in love... kinda. But still, what could anything about it possibly do with his dating life

'I haven't kept it a secret, i just don't understand why could it matter'

Peppa scoffed

'Fine. At least you tried to face the reality. Not in a right way but still. Let me find you a fine boy then, i have a friend, her nephew is really nice young man... And he's also pretty. Not as pretty as you of course.'

'Peppa, just stop. You really think i can't find somebody by myself? I just don't need anyone'

'Mijo, you need someone so bad it looks pathetic! So no arguing, I'll update you when you have a date!

Eddie exhaled. Arguing with her anyway was senseless, if she decided something nobody can stop her.

***

'And that's how i have a date tonight. With some random guy named Alberto, who in their right mind would name their child Alberto?!'

'My brother's name is Albert, so i can give you a list'

'It's not Alberto, this 'o' in the end is just...'

'Well, Edmundo... You just don't wanna go on this date. With the guy. Actually, congratulations, you came out so smoothly i didn't even get it on the first time. I'm so proud of you'

'That's not the point, but thanks, Hen. I just... I mean I'm grown up man, can i decide something in my private life alone?'

'From your previous experiences - no.'

'Thanks, Bobby. Really helpful. By the way, Buck, you're surprisingly quiet. Is everything alright?'

Everyone just turn to him

'Yes, I'm fine. I hope your date would be great. I'd really love to see you happy.'

'But i am happy?!'

Buck just nodded with so much of visible attitude that Eddie was ready to start defending his imaginary happiness. Bobby saved the day, of course.

'If you say so. Okay, team. Work is calling'

***

'Still don't wanna go?'

'Try to guess. Buck, do you need a lift?'

'Nah, I'm good, thanks, i have a ton of plans with one of my favourite persons today'

Everybody seem intrigued. Eddie exhaled loudly

'My son. He's taking Chris to the natural history museum. And i should go to some bar. Maybe i also want to go to the museum'

'You hate museums!'

'But i.. ok, fine. I hate museums so i should drink myself to the oblivion, nice'

'Well, actually no. You can just have a good time.'

'Yeah. When i come up with some sweet excuses why I'm not interested in this guy'

'You've never met him before!'

'So?'

This discussion is going nowhere

***

'Listen, i know you're getting ready for your big date...'

'Shut up and get to the point already'

Eddie puts him on speaker and threw away another shirt. He hates everything about this date but somehow he wants to look impressive. Why? What's wrong with him? Okay, this shirt is good. Buck loves it. But he's not dating Buck...

'I mean, did you know, the stairs in the museum are also... Historical?.. and slippery...'

'Chris?!'

Eddie dropped the tie he started to knot. Maybe it's for the best, who wears a tie to the bar, even if it's a fancy bar.

'O my god, no, of course not. Sorry if i scared you!'

'Buck. Back to business. Slippery stairs?'

'I sprained my ankle. It's not that bad but i was asking if you're fine i stay with Chris at your place instead? I'm not sure i can go further with museum walking. And Chris's pace'

'You shouldn't ask. Ever. Okay, I'll be there in...'

He opens uber app

'Thirty minutes or so. Are you sure you don't need ambulance?'

'I sprained my ankle, it's not that I'm dying! And what do you mean you'll be here? I can drive!'

'Yeah, sure. I'll be there anyway, so wait for me'

'But your date..'

'See you'

Eddie hung up, types quick message 'Sorry, i have an emergency' and called uber

***

'Well, it's not broken from the first glance but we're heading to the ER anyway. Give me the keys'

'I know it's not broken, i told you. So...'

'Buck, i can't recall asking you. Chris, go to the car. Did you have fun?'

'It was awesome, do you know T-rex and brachiosaurus have never met?!'

'Interesting. Give me my first aid kit please'

'What are you doing?!'

'Try to guess. Put on a tight bandage on your ankle. You're taking back seat to have your leg steady. Can you go or... nevermind'

Looking to the limping Buck was so unpleasant... And he moves so slowly! That Eddie has no choice other than carries him to the Jeep.

***

'I told you it's not broken!'

'And yet i wanna be sure. Okay, take your papers and let's go. Do you want to get some food on the way?'

'I can cook!'

'No you're not. You should keep your ankle in peace and comfort, so no kitchen work for you. I was thinking tacos. And a big bucket of ice cream'

'Sounds... Great, actually. But your date?'

'Forget it. Okay, you're so slow...'

'Don't you dare to carry me again! Edds, cut it! Put me down!'

Buck's laughs so lightly Eddie feels his heart melting. And even if he would never recover from that - he would never change this moment for anything.

***

'Why have we never watched Jurassic park before?'

'Well, i just thought as your museum experience wasn't so great... You can at least watch a movie about somebody with more problems? And now, Chris, it's time for bed!'

Chris yawned and headed to the bathroom with no arguing what was actually new for him. Or he was just really tired.

'It's your bed time also, Buck. But firstly you need to take another painkiller.'

Buck makes his special puppy eyes and smiles

'And then you get me another pillow here? For, you know, my ankle?'

'Why would i bring here pillows if you'd not be here?'

Buck freezes and his smile is literally vanished

'What do you mean?'

'I said. Bed time. Not couch time. We should have also checked your head cause you definitely lost your cognitive ability'

'..oh'

'Do you think you can manage the big journey to the bedroom or..'

'I can! It's not so bad, really, you saw that, doctor said tomorrow I'll be fine! Edds, please, don't carry me around anymore!'

Fuck Eddie loves his laugh. He loves everything about him.

And he forgot to call Peppa. Tomorrow, he'll do it tomorrow, anyway she already knew that he skipped the date, it doesn't matter when they could have an argue on that. Cause of course, Buck's ankle wasn't that bad. It wasn't a real emergency.

But to be fair... He has no regrets at all.

***

'Hey, Eddie! So, what's about your date night? Judging by your smile i can suspect it wasn't that bad?'

He smiles to Hen, taking the cup from her hands

'Actually...It was surprisingly good'

'Really? Which bar were you at?'

'No bars. We were at home, watching movie and eating ice cream. It was nice ice cream and actually i like Jurassic park.'

'Sounds.. cosy. But what's about this guy, do you like him?'

He paused for a second.

'I love him'

Chim whistled

'That's big! Maybe a little bit fast but...'

And here's Buck. It took him surprisingly long time to park that time. His ankle is fine - he still has a bandage but at least he is not limping anymore. And he even went to the loft to get his sketchers.

'Hey, guys! Oh, Eddie, you're already here. Sorry that I've ruined your date but I was thinking maybe we can watch second Jurassic park movie after shift? If you're not planning to give your date another chance, of course. Erhm. Guys? Why are you staring at me?'

Hen coughs

'Eddie was just telling us about his perfect date. With movie and ice cream....'

Chim nodded with enthusiasm till Eddie tries to drown himself in his cup

'Yap. Eddie said he loves the guy!'

'But..but he wasn't on date... I mean... Eddie?!'

'Mhm?'

'Why did you say that?'

'Cause, Evan, I'm not a liar?'

'Okay...'

Buck's face became red as the engine behind him

'We can talk after shift, if you'll be in a mood but really, Buck, there's nothing to discuss'

It's so obvious for him that there's a lot to discuss but Eddie looks at him in a strange way... And yes, this is not that kind of discussion he would like to share with the team.

***

They were in the changing room after the shift when Buck starts again

'Why didn't you tell that to me first?'

'Didn't tell you what? That i love you and i can't imagine my life without you? Maybe it's non of your business?!'

Buck chokes on air. How can he forget Eddie's main line of defence usually is attack?

'Why so?'

'Cause I don't want to ruin our friendship.'

'Than i ruin it myself!'

***

'How do you think, if they even remember we're still here?'

'I think you need to give them space.'

'Bobby?! When did you get here?'

'Five minutes ago. Hen, what are you filming?!'

'Family archive'

'No, you don't! Get yourself out of here now, that's an order!'

***

'I beg you not to. I'm sorry, Evan. I really don't want to lose you. Ever. So I'm fine with the friendship if you're capable of doing so, knowing... That'

'I don't want to be your friend'

Buck see how Eddie's face goes grey. Like small light in him just burnt out in a second.

'I understand. I'm really sorry'

'Shut up. I don't want to be your friend and i don't want you to be my friend. Only because i want you to be my life. I want you to be happy, i want to make you happy, i want watching movies with you, hell, i want to live my life with you. And see Chris growing up. I want all of this. With you. I just have no idea i even have a chance!'

Eddie smiles a little

'Why didn't you ask then?!'

'...I didn't want to ruin our friendship...'

Eddie starts laughing

'Ruin it for fuck sake!'

Actually Buck has been thinking of this for several hours straight. He thought of doing this for several years now but constantly thinks from the second Eddie carried him to the car. So it is surprisingly easy for him to push Eddie to the locker and kiss. And kiss. And again. Like he was trying to catch up on something. Based on Eddie's reaction - he was for it.

Buck opened his eyes when kiss is abruptly stopped and he heard applause. He turns his head just to see three smiley faces in a small door window.

And then door opens.

***

'So, mi niño, how was your date?'

'Great, Peppa. It was great.'

'And Alberto told me you've never shown up'

Peppa smiled.

'I'm so glad for you. And i really like Evan, you know?'

'I know.'

'And now i love him even more. Cause he makes you happy'

'He does'

Eddie smiles.

'He really does'

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Code Words: Bacon?

Hi, I absolutely loved your CodeWords fic! It had a good conclusion, but if you were to continue that verse I would definitely read it. Like if it was something like Roman and Janus go on a new mission/adventure or just some fluffy bonding with the agents we love in this fic. – creativia10

Read on Ao3 Masterlist

Warnings: nightmare, sleep paralysis, aliens/monsters

Pairings: none

Word Count: 5008

In an epilogue of sorts to the main story, Janus and Remus show Roman one of the training simulations.

    The worst part about waking up from a nightmare is how truly exhausted his body is.

Roman winces, still staring at the ceiling as he struggles to convince the dead weight that should be his limbs to at least move a little bit. But no matter what he tries, they refuse to do so much as twitch, thrumming with the same bone-weary ache that comes from being put through the Blender; when he first started training at the higher agents' level, they introduced him to the obstacle course that would serve as his qualifier. He almost ended up permanently paralyzed the first time something came at him too fast, and spent the next six months in various stages of pain and suffering until he was finally able to put the fucking thing in the rearview mirror.

Come on, you assholes, he bargains with his limbs as he just manages to roll from his side to his back, just let me fucking move!

But they don't, and so he doesn't.

Closing his eyes to muster up the courage to shift again only serves to reinvigorate the horrors living on the insides of his eyelids. He wrenches them open again, trying doggedly to stay awake until he can convince his body to move. The dark of his room presses closer as he tries to move just enough to where he's not actively restrained by his own stupid limbs.

The ball of fear in his chest doesn't deflate.

His fingers wiggle on one hand, then the other. Bit by bit, he reclaims the use of his arms, but that doesn't mean shit if his lower body won't get with the fucking program. He wriggles around for a bit like a truly pathetic worm until he can flop himself over to the bedside table and grope for his phone.

Logan picks up on the third ring.

"Roman? Little one, is everything alright?"

"How the fuck do you sound this 'wake right now?" he slurs against the wave of relief that threatens to send him back to the bed.

"It's a skill, I'm afraid, but what's the matter?"

The obvious concern lacing his words strikes Roman's chest. "I…it's stupid."

"It's gotten you to call me in the middle of the night," Logan corrects gently, "that's not nothing."

"It's just—never mind."

"Roman," Logan says, a touch firmer this time, "tell me what's the matter."

And suddenly he's eight years old again, in a room that's too big and too small, and he mumbles: "I had a nightmare."

"Oh, little one, I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like me to come over?"

His heart leaps. "You…you would?"

Logan's quiet for a moment before he sighs. "Roman, perhaps I haven't made myself clear over the past few months, but there is very little that I would not do to ensure your comfort. If having me there with you will help in this moment, then that is what I shall do."

"Okay," Roman mumbles around the lump in his throat, "I…um…can you come, please?"

"I'll be right there."

True to his word, it feels like scarcely any time at all before there's a soft knock on his door and Roman's fumbling to pull up the app on his phone to check that it's Logan and let him in. The door swings open with Logan's soft hello, it's only me, and then he's appearing from around the corner—

Roman blinks at the flannel shirt and pants as Logan comes to sit on the edge of the bed. He notices the look and the corner of his mouth quirks up.

"Never thought you'd see me in pajamas, did you?"

"To be honest, I don't think I really believed you sleep."

"Of course not, this is part of my ruse," Logan says immediately, gesturing to himself, "I'm told that most normal humans wear specific 'bed clothes' when they go unconscious, apparently it's quite the intricate ritual."

Roman manages a weak laugh and Logan chuckles too, before his voice gentles and he shifts a little closer.

"What can I do for you, little one," he asks too softly for Roman to keep the whimper inside his chest, "what do you need?"

"Can I have a hug?"

"Of course you can, come here," he murmurs and leans forward to tuck Roman into his arms. The smell of pine and cedar wafts into his nose as he buries his head in Logan's shoulder, clutching the back of his shirt. "There, is that alright?"

He nods and Logan hums, shifting a little bit so there's less of a strain on Roman's still non-functioning legs. The phantom pain still thuds in the back of his brain like a too-loud stereo system, making him whimper again and try to burrow closer to Logan. One of his hands rests at the small of Roman's back as his head turns.

"Are you hurting, little one?"

"'S just phantom pain."

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

He shifts a little more. "…yeah, it hurts a little. But I don't want pain meds," he says when Logan goes to pull away, "just—stay?"

Logan stops, to his credit, but he can feel the frown over his shoulder. "Why not, if I may ask?"

"It's more psychological than physical, at least that's what the doctor said. If I try and medicate it away, it makes it…it makes it worse the next time."

"Is there anything that does help?"

"Well, moving them helps, but I'm currently very stuck, so…"

Logan pulls back again, just enough to cup Roman's head so they can look at each other in the half-dark. "Do you want help?"

He opens and closes his mouth a few times. Something works at Logan's forehead before he makes Roman look at him properly.

"I am offering to help you because I care about you," he says, gently yet firmly, "and you are in pain and I wish to help you. This is not a trap, this is not something I will hold against you in the future. You are my charge and I will care for you as best I can."

"I know," Roman nearly whines, "I do, I promise, I just—my brain just fucking sucks."

"Hush, now," Logan soothes when Roman's fists clench, "it's alright, I know it's hard."

"Why is this so hard?"

"Brains are very good at pattern recognition," he explains, stroking his fingers through the hair at the back of Roman's head, "and it is very difficult for them to unlearn them. The brain acts as a muscle with a reflex; if it gets very used to doing something as a reaction to certain stimuli, it will continue to react in the same way until it is unlearned."

"You're too eloquent for this time of night," Roman mumbles, halfheartedly swatting his shoulder, "small-word me."

"I thought those were small words."

"Smaller words. Two syllables only."

Logan sighs in that fondly exasperated way but nods. "The brain is like a muscle."

"Okay."

"Muscles can have a reflex."

"Okay."

"It's very hard to stop a reflex."

"That's stupid."

"Well, I would argue that having reflexes at all is one of the evolutionary advantages that humans—" Roman glares at him and he cuts himself off with a sheepish cough— "the point I'm trying to make is that it's not your fault that you're having a difficult time, little one. You can be a little kinder to yourself over it."

"But that's hard."

"I know, little one, I know." He chucks Roman lightly under the chin. "But a good way to start is by letting others be kind to you."

"I don't have the brain to keep up with you in a debate right now," he says weakly, to which Logan only chuckles, "okay, okay, fine, you can help me."

Logan leans forward to kiss his forehead, which he swears he did on purpose so that Roman's hands would stutter and let him go long enough to slide further down the bed. "Can I take the covers off?"

"Mhm." Only for him to wince at how cold his legs feel, which only worsens the pain. "It's cold."

"I know, little one, I'm here to help. I'm going to walk you through a few physical therapy exercises that Medical had me do in the past, okay?"

"How are you gonna walk me through them when my legs don't work?"

Logan gives him a look and scribbles his fingers across Roman's right foot. Roman yelps, betrayed, and jerks his foot slightly away.

"Well," Logan says, slightly smug, "I think that's a promising start, don't you?"

"If you're just going to tickle me and call it 'helping,' then—"

"I won't," he says, softening immediately when he sees Roman's shoulders hunch, "I'm sorry, little one, that was mean."

"Yes, it was."

"I'm sorry." He takes Roman's ankle gently in hand. "I'll make it up to you, you have my word."

Slowly, Logan starts to bend and straighten Roman's leg, rotating his foot around his ankle, moving up to stretch out his hip too. He does the same with the other leg, working slowly and carefully so as not to strain his muscles. The ache ebbs and flows as Logan moves, still tingling in the very recesses of his brain as his legs slowly start to feel like legs and not useless sacks attached to him. Still, his breath hitches a few times when the pain decides to throb and Logan always stills, lowering his leg back to bed and waiting for Roman to nod that it's okay again.

"You're doing so well," he murmurs as he works, "so well."

"Thank you," Roman mumbles when he can actually move his legs a little bit again, "that's better."

Logan hums, sitting back near Roman's headboard again. When Roman leans closer, he lifts his arm and gathers him back in for a cuddle, kissing his temple and helping to tug the covers back over him. "Are you still cold?"

"Not really."

"That's good." His fingers card through the hair at the nape of his neck. "Do you wish to talk about it?"

"No."

"Alright."

"Wait, really?"

"I'm here for you, little one, if something I suggest will not help you, there is absolutely no obligation for you to do it."

"Why are you being like this now," Roman can't help but whisper, "you were so—so—so not this for so long, why are you doing this now?"

His head goes up and down as Logan sighs. "Believe me, little one, you have no idea how much I wish I could go back and change some of the things I've done, or how I chose to train you. I—in my own arrogance, I couldn't, or refused to see past yours, to see how hard you really were trying just to keep your head above water."

There's a pause, then Logan turns his head and his breath warms Roman's forehead.

"I thought I knew what was best for you," he says, a tremble in his voice, "and I helped deliver you to the hands of a monster. And for that, I will never forgive myself."

The words shoot a pang through Roman's chest. "Logan, you…you can't blame yourself for that."

"I can and I do, Roman. It was my job to make sure you were safe here, because that is the responsibility of a mentor, and I did not want—or perhaps I was just unwilling to admit that I didn't feel qualified to help you. I am aware," he says when Roman starts to say something, "that Michael was incredibly good at his job. I am aware that I cannot blame myself for the actions of others. But…look at me, little one."

Roman does and balks at the sight of Logan's tears. "Logan—"

"It was my fault that I was not honest with you that I didn't know how to help you," he says, his voice still remarkably clear, "and that I never made any effort to make sure that you knew that I was here to support you, no matter what."

And fuck it, Roman's crying now.

He throws himself at Logan's chest and Logan catches him, holding him as tightly as he can as he murmurs nonsense into Roman's hair. And maybe this really is better than he ever could have hoped for, because as Logan eventually coaxes him to lie back against the headboard, he clings to the flannel shirt with all his might and Logan comes with him, lying partly over him as though he's another blanket to shield him from the world.

There are far worse fates.

But tears have to run dry eventually because the human body has its limits, and when Roman sags against Logan's hold, he moves just enough to ensure Roman can still snuggle into his side and lies next to him. It's a different sort of exhaustion now, one that seeps far more into his chest and stomach than his limbs. He keeps a loose grip on Logan's sleeve as he nuzzles into the crook of his shoulder.

"Better?"

"Mhm."

"I'm glad." His hand cards through his hair again. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

There's a pause. Then: "Can you see if Janus is awake too?"

He can tell he's surprised him by the way Logan's hand falters, but after a moment he murmurs an affirmative and pulls away. Roman lets his eyes slip closed as the bright light from the screen illuminates the side of the bed. After another moment, he hears the telltale buzz of the phone beginning to ring and frowns. Logan shrugs—with the shoulder he isn't leaning on—and answers the call.

"You're on speaker, Janus, and Roman's here."

"Hey, sweetie," comes Janus's voice, "I heard you had a nightmare, are you okay?"

"Yeah," he mumbles, burying into Logan's side, "just…wanted to see if you were okay too."

"I'm alright, sweetie, I'm fine." They hear a muffled voice and Janus sighs. "Look, I'm going to put you on speaker too so Remus doesn't have to act as a cartoon Greek chorus."

Roman snickers as there's a fumbling from Janus's end of the call and then a clunk as the phone must be set down on the table.

"Can you still hear me?"

"Yeah. Hi, Remus."

"Hey, squirt. Welcome to the cool kid's club of not being able to sleep at night."

"Remus," he hears Janus scold, followed by a soft thwap and a muffled yelp, "ignore him, sweetie, he's a terrible influence."

"Okay, one of us started sneaking out of the dorms way earlier than the other, and I'll have you know that your disciplinary record starts much earlier than mine."

"Yeah, well, one of us had to go figure out how to mop up a bunch of green slime because the other one was laughing too hard to be useful to anyone, so there."

"And you know, I've never once heard you say thank you."

"For dousing me in green slime? No, you haven't, and you won't, because that's not something I would thank you for."

Roman chuckles as the two of them keep bickering, his eyes growing heavier and heavier. Logan sets the phone on the bed so he can still hear them, before coaxing Roman to lie back down properly. He drifts off to sleep with the three voices in his ear, laughing about some prank that had gone hilariously wrong.

***

    "I think he's asleep," Logan says over the phone and Janus immediately lowers his voice.

"Is he alright?"

"Exhausted, by the looks of it, and probably more than a little affected by some of the phantom pain still, but he's alright."

Remus grunts, taking another swig of his drink. "Has he had his follow-up with Psych yet?"

"It's at the end of the week."

"They really fucked him over with their booking shit, huh." He drums his fingers on the table. "Is he booked the rest of the week too?"

"No, not as far as I know."

"Might do him some good to get out and moving," Remus suggests, glancing at Janus, "just so he's not sitting in it."

"We have a sim mod coming up," Janus agrees, "it would be nice to do with a team."

"Why don't I see if Roman's up to breakfast with you two again tomorrow," Logan suggests, "then you can ask him?"

"Yeah, that works. Are you going to stay with him?"

"Yes. Don't worry, I'll look after him."

"Thanks, Logan." He hangs up and scrubs a hand over his face. "Well, we should probably get some sleep, then, huh?"

Remus huffs and finishes his drink. "Yeah, probably. Poor kid."

"Yeah."

"Nope," Remus says, pointing a finger at him, "none of that self-deprecating shit. Get that out of here. We've all been over this, now knock it off or I'll come in there with a crowbar."

Janus chuckles and waves him off, getting up slowly from the table and making his way over to the bed. After a moment, he feels the other side of the mattress sag as Remus joins him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he sighs, "just…you know."

"Yeah." The mattress shifts as Remus rolls onto his side. "You should probably change into something more comfortable to sleep in."

"So should you."

And so, neither of them moves, and they wake up the next morning with slightly bizarre marks from sleeping on things that aren't meant to be slept on, but they clean themselves up and go to meet Logan and Roman at the nearby diner. Roman looks a little tired when he sits in the booth, but he visibly brightens when he sees them walk in and scoots over to make room for Remus to sit next to him.

"Hey, squirt," Remus greets, ruffling his hair until Roman squawks, "what're you having?"

"Bacon, hashbrowns, pancakes. You?"

"That sounds great to me, I'll steal your bacon to go with my omelet."

"Hey!"

Remus winks as Janus rolls his eyes. "Ignore him, sweetie, he'll steal mine instead."

"Look, it's your own fault if you leave the plate right next to mine."

"Or you could order your own and we wouldn't have to deal with this." Remus swats a hand dismissively. "Fine, you can have my bacon, then—"

"Deal."

"—if you promise to give me the long-range flashlight in the sim later," he finishes smugly and watches Remus glare at him, "do we have a deal?"

"I'll order my own damn bacon, keep your paws off my flashlight."

"What flashlight?" Roman stage-whispers to Logan who shakes his head.

"They're talking about a combat training simulation. It's meant to help you refine your stealth skills, though from the sounds of it…"

"We don't use it the way you're supposed to use it," Janus confesses, "we use it to goof off and have fun."

Roman's eyes widen and Remus cackles. "Oh, yeah, we use it to practice stealth, alright, just not the kind they wanted us to."

"Wait, wait, wait, what kind is that?"

"Well, there's the leave-no-bodies-for-the-guards-to-notice stealth, and there's the leave-no-guards-to-notice-the-bodies stealth," Remus explains with a grin, "there's also the who-cares-fuck-it-we-ball stealth, which is my personal favorite."

"And also the least stealthy, look at that." Remus sticks his tongue out at him. "It's meant to be done in teams of four, but Remus and I normally do it just by ourselves."

"Since everyone else gets on our asses about 'not doing it right,' whatever that means."

"If you wanted," Janus continues, smiling as Roman laughs at Remus's disgusted expression, "you and Logan could do it with us. It doesn't count for anything, it's not something you're going to be tested on, it's just for fun."

Roman glances at Logan, who shrugs, before looking back at him. "Yeah, sure. Can we, um, can we eat first?"

"Sweetie, I'm not letting Remus near any sim until he's got at least three cups of coffee in him."

"Yeah, yeah, it was one time."

"Wait, what happened?"

Janus raises an eyebrow at Remus who groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Look, you mistake an old broom handle for a combat shotgun one time…"

They trade ridiculous stories throughout breakfast until Roman's grinning more than he is frowning. They walk back to the base two by two, Janus walking with Roman as Remus and Logan debate the technicalities of one specification that Janus apparently never bothered to look up. About halfway there, Roman shyly asks if he can hold on to Janus's sleeve and Janus simply tucks Roman's hand in his until they're all the way at the sim room.

"Alright," Remus says, snapping into a somewhat professional manner—at least as close as he gets when he's not on mission— "so the way this works is we're going to be dropped into an abandoned complex. There are going to be clickers in there—those are weird alien-looking motherfuckers that react to light and sound. We will be given something to accomplish while we're in there and we have to do and then make it to the extraction point. Very similar to a lot of video games except this one you actually get to fuck around in."

"How do we deal with the clickers?"

"You can bash 'em over the head with a hammer," Remus continues, taking one of the big melee hammers off the wall, "you can stab 'em with a spear or a knife, or you can shoot them. Shooting them will make noise and wake any others up that are in the area, so only do that as a last resort or if a bunch of them are running at you. There will be alarms inside as well, which will wake a bunch of them up, so that is the time to shoot."

"Are those our only choice of weapon?"

Janus catches Logan beaming with pride as Roman asks all the right questions as Remus walks him through gearing up, leaning close when the two of them have a moment.

"He's an incredible agent, Logan."

"I know," Logan murmurs back, "I can't wait for when he gets to run a sim like this solo."

"Oh, those two are going to be insufferable once Roman gets good at this, I know it."

"Oi, you two! Stop gossiping and get over here, we're ready for the drop."

Janus walks over as Remus secures Roman into the first of the drop pods, ruffling his hair again as Roman gives him the okay. He does Janus next, securing him in before making sure Logan's gear is all good to go.

"He's good at this," Roman mumbles and Janus glances over, "is he, like, is this his sim?"

"It might as well be, he runs it a lot even solo, which is meant to be impossible. He has fun with it, but he'll behave since it's your first run." Roman nods and reaches out. Janus squeezes his hand. "And if at any point you decide you're done, we'll end it. I promise."

The corner of Roman's mouth quirks up. "Should we have a code word that means we're done?"

"Sure," Janus chuckles, "what do should it be?"

Roman thinks for a moment, then smiles. "What about 'I want some bacon?'"

Janus laughs so loudly Remus looks over at him with a frown. He waves him off and nods at Roman. "That's perfect, sweetie."

"You have to use it too, if it gets too much."

"I will, don't you worry."

"Alright," Remus calls, clicking himself into a drop pod too, "let's do this shit."

The room's lights turn low and the drop pods begin to lower slowly into the simulation room proper. As soon as they emerge beneath the floor, Janus squints through the musty gloom of an old industrial prison complex, lit with flickering faraway lights and the eerie glow of something not-quite biological growing along some of the walls. The pods land and disengage with a soft hiss and immediately Remus is out, prowling along the floor until he's scanned their immediate area, returning to the group and beckoning them closer.

"Comm check," he says quietly and they all confirm their lines, "alright. On your wrist there's a map that shows how much of the place we've found. It also has the objective in the corner."

"We need to find the…stasis unit?" Roman glances around. "What does it look like?"

"We need to find a terminal and query it to figure out exactly what we're looking for. Janus and I have sentry turrets," he says, motioning to Janus, "those'll be helpful when we have to deal with alarms. Their fire isn't live, per se, but it will hurt you, so stay out of their range as much as possible when the clickers come. Logan, you've got the gooey globby stuff that slows 'em down, so we'll gum up the floors and doors if we need to. Roman? You've got the scanner."

Roman immediately checks the thing on his belt, squinting at the screen and turning slowly to get his bearings. "This says there's one about five meters that way."

"Any others?"

"Not that I can see."

"Alright, keep your eyes on that. We're gonna go look for a terminal first, okay?"

"We're following," Logan says, taking out his knife and a flashlight, "lead the way."

Remus glances at Janus and he nods, taking the rear position behind Logan. Roman follows Remus, calling out markers when they appear on the scanner. Remus navigates them through the dark halls until they come across an intersection where Roman says there's one right in front of them.

"You can see it, be quiet now, over there," Remus mutters, gesturing, "there, see?"

"Oh, fuck, that's horrifying. Wait, what are you doing?" he hisses when Remus flashes his light at it and it burbles. "I thought you said they were attracted to light and sound!"

"It's a duration thing more than a disturbance thing. You can flash and get away with seeing what's in the room without waking them up. If you ever think you're in trouble, crouch, don't move, you'll be fine."

"Okay."

"You wanna kill this one?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, it's on its own, the rest of us are right here, go on, squirt, you got this."

Despite Remus's assurances, Janus feels as nervous as he's sure Roman does, watching him reach for the massive hammer on his back and slowly approaching the clicker. His footsteps are near-silent, his breathing over the comms is a little heavy, but even. The clicker burbles as Roman gets right up next to it, then the hammer swings—

"Nice one, squirt," Remus says as the clicker falls to the ground, limp, "good job."

"That's it?"

"Yep. Now it does make some noise, so you gotta be a little careful, but for the most part, yeah, keep doing that and you're golden."

He catches a glimpse of Roman's proud little smile as they keep going. Sure enough, the rest of the sim runs pretty smoothly. Roman keeps up the work with the scanner, Logan can type faster than literally anyone he's ever run this sim with before, and Remus behaves. For the most part. There is one time where he goes to scout alone without them and they hear him muttering over the comms.

"I should not have committed to walking into this room by myself."

"You need some help?"

"Nah, nah, I got this. Ooh," they hear a moment later, "I have even more friends over here, awesome."

"If they react to light and sound," Roman whispers to Janus even though they're all on the same comms, "why is he talking?"

"Because he's Remus, sweetie, he does that."

"Hah, take that, you absolute pile of ballsacks," they hear a moment later before Remus reemerges, "okay, we're all good, we can go in there now."

Roman just gives him a look before looking down at the scanner and frowning. "Wait, what does a moving orange thing mean?"

Remus doesn't stiffen, but Janus can see the way his hands twitch on his flashlight. "Let me see?"

Roman holds it out and he sighs.

"That's a scout."

"What's a scout?"

"It moves around and has these long tentacle things that can detect stuff. Basically it's a huge fucking headache to deal with because it can sound alarms and draw a whole bunch of stuff to us."

"Uh-huh. Uh, so it's probably a bad thing that it's in the room we have to go in, right?"

"Yeah, it's not great, but we'll make it work. Stay close, everyone," Remus says as they head for the next door, "alright, let's do this."

Janus finds himself agreeing entirely with Roman's noise of disgust when he sees the scout for the first time, tentacles and all. Remus shepherds them around the very edge of the room, out of the way of most of the tentacles, until they're almost as the next door. Which, of course, is when the thing decides to turn and move straight for them.

"Can it see us?"

"No," Remus mutters, "only the light like the others."

"Can we kill it?"

"Not while its tentacles are out. Hey, what are you—"

Janus's heart leaps to his throat as Roman moves straight for it. "Roman!"

"I got this," Roman mutters, before he swings the hammer just as the scout starts to—

His eyes widen when the scout falls over, dead, and the complex is silent.

"Well," Remus says faintly, getting up as Roman scans the rest of the room, "you and I are going to have a lot of fun in some of the later levels."

"There are more levels?"

Janus can feel Remus grin as he claps Roman on the shoulder. "Oh, squirt, you ain't seen nothing yet."

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[rigelswrittingsquare]

my small human wheatley HC scenario

because I'm down BAD!!!!!!!!! RAH!!!!!!!!

- wheatley having an absolute PUPPY crush on you and finding the stupidest excuses to see you , him being stupidly down bad self just to confess in the end after a (time skip) few weeks

indulgent saansosnaKSNSHAHA, and not written very seriously

for gn readers!!

So you've caught his attention. HOUGH. Let's say you've been working around Aperture as a data logger or some other desk job, most preferably one that doesn't require a lot of talking, but his cubical is like right beside yours. It's basically like a drab monotone setting, classic crammed together offices under that gross florescent lighting

He's talked to you a few times, mostly small office talk, classic conversations by the water cooler, that stuff. GOD he talked a lot in those small moments. saying things like:

"Some brilliant water right here, it just... Quenches the thirst, like water should, you know." He's propped up his elbow on top of the water jug on top while drinking from those pathetic little paper cups, looks like he could just drop that thing with how bad his hand is shaking, and yet he STILL continues.

"Nothing like .. Aperture refreshments, like, seriously, it's some...er..." He drones off, before looking at your confused yet entertained expression, and trying a DIFFERENT approach than the pathetic water convo starter. bravo wheatley!

"...How's it going!"

Usually he can never get very far to talking to you without being told to go back to his cubical, so he's practically quaking in his own skin right now?

if you give him a nod or any positive affirmation? he lights up says things along the lines of:

"Brilliant! That's great to hear mate! Ah ..I mean. Good, good. That's good. Myself? Not doing too shabby, just small quarrels with Jerry here and there, no problem, no problem whatsoever."

however if you are feeling stressed out of not really your best?:

"Ah..Right, hmm..Right, I'll tell you what, at least you haven't spilled your coffee all over the desk, right?.... Don't look, no, don't look at my shirt, I still haven't gotten the stains out." He nervously chuckles, trying to cheer you up. there is a VERY prominent coffee stain plastered on the mid section of his shirt, it's.........it's something alright.

When the two of you part ways, and go back to your cubicles, he's absolutely anxious. we are talking about nervous leg bouncing, chewing on pencil erasers, tapping his hands against the desk, just absolutely ITCHING (hehe you get it like the chapter in portal called the itc * gets thrown off the stage * anyways) to see you again. His gaze drifts down to the gap that separates you and him, and gets an idea. He scrawls something on a piece of paper, before tearing off on his APERTURE BRANDED stick it note pad, and bending down to the floor to push it under the gap with his pencil, stretching to poke your leg with it to get your attention before sitting up in his chair

the note??? you ask?

"Lunch is in 30, can I buy you something? - Wheatley :]"

If you decide to go, oh he's DELIGHTED. definitely knocks on your door the MINUTE OF. NO LATER. and waits for you to come out

he's absolutely Smitten. with you, watching carefully as you point out what you want, and he gives it to you, maybe even splurges on a stale cafeteria cookie for the two of you, and finds a small break room for the two of you to chat

He doesn't care that you don't talk much, it makes you all the more interesting. What's stewing in that brain of yours? What mysterious oasis lays inside that noggin? He's going to crack that egg and find out, one ramble at a time.

He blabbers on about something, noticing you watching him, and he gets flustered, but continues blabbering nonetheless :

"Just thought of something, and quite honestly, it's bloody unnerving. You ever noticed them birds perched up on the lab equipment? Nasty critters, they are... Conniving....Bet they are plotting something ..something big.. nasty... But! But, but but... If you like birds, that's cool too, in all honesty it makes you seem cooler than you already are.. That is, if you even.. Like them critters."

He runs a hand through his hair, before sinking in his seat with relief of your laughter. So this makes him continue.

"But aside from them nasty.....Corvids, I'll tell you what, mate, these things are uhm..." He gestures towards the stale cookies, before clearing his throat. "Horrible. GOD awful. Quite honestly, I'm ashamed to have even given you that." oh he's pitiful. I love him so much

he would continue to do this for some amount of weeks, before working up the gall to finally ask you on a proper date. It started out as usual, him sliding the note under your cubical and buying your lunches, but this time, he takes you outside the office space, and onto the catwalks. He sits down, patting the spot beside him, before staring out into the abyss, just outside the guard rail.

"So.. Uhm.. Sorry about the change of scene, er, I figured it would be best if we found a little snug spot, hm?" He couldn't even look at you without thoughts of backing down plaguing his mind, so he continued on.

"Listen, I've been thinking for a while and uh.. We're good mates, yeah? We're office buddies, we get along, have a bit of banter, eat lunches together.. you listen to my absolute LUNACY, and.... My banter, which it's honestly maddening how you keep up- which is absolutely amazing! I'm glad I got you mate, really, I do." He glanced over at you, looking for any mutual understanding in your eyes, before continuing, looking away once more. god he's a mess

"Well I guess what I'm trying to get at is... More so propose, I guess in a sense, is that I wanted to know if.. you possibly... Wanted to be more than mates?" His eyes darted to your face, before looking away once more. "You just make my day, and..Even if I talk you up a bloody tree," he chuckled, running his hand through his hair again, before pushing up his glasses, facing you entirely. "I think I genuinely like you. Like. Like, like you, if you know what I mean. You don't gotta nod, you don't even gotta answer! Although that's most... preferable, I figure I should just... Y'know...out with it!"

when you accepted, oh he was happier than a kid who got turned loose in a candy store. had to absolutely PHYSICALLY restrain himself from squeezing you into a hug, if it wasn't for you eating your food, he would be more than happy to swoop you up into his arms. however one thing was for sure, he was definitely already calling you luv instead of mate.

it was you, and he didn't want to keep the two of you a secret.

after all, we are talking about you!! who would keep you a secret?

[wjforever]

Destroy me again. Chapter 8

I don't bother to get up. Instead, I put my feet on the bed, making myself comfortable. When Delalieu comes in, he looks at me for a few moments, but says nothing but "Sir."

"Prepare the documents for the "Brutus" project. Order a car to be prepared for me and gather the troops in the Quadrant, I will make a statement."

"Sir?"

"Do you have another words in your vocabulary?"

Hearing this question, he gets lost, bulges his eyes, stammers. "Yes… sir. Of course, sir. I'm sorry…"

"Sir," I interrupt, finishing the sentence for him. "I get it. What about my father?"

"He… He hasn't been in touch."

"Good. At least one good news for today. Give me a stronger painkiller and help me get dressed." He freezes, looks at me. 

"Lieutenant, this is an order. Not a request."

"Yes, sir… But sir… the medics…"

"Under my command. And their recommendations don't help to cope with the situation, which means I'll have to take matters into my own hands."

"Yes sir. Should I help you up?"

I hesitate for a couple of seconds. I don't know what would look more pathetic, my attempt to lift on my own, having a punctured lung and a practically useless right arm, or the use of my lieutenant's assistance. I decide that I couldn't avoid humiliation in any case, but the second option, at least, would be faster. So I extend my good arm forward, allowing the other person to help me bring myself to an upright position.

A white flash of light blinds me for a moment and I can barely restrain myself from throwing up immediately. 

"Sir, you're too pale and…" Delalieu's voice is surprisingly confident, almost insistent. 

"My clothes, lieutenant."

It's a humiliating feeling for a young and, a few hours ago, healthy person to feel so helpless. Yesterday you commanded hundreds of soldiers, and now you are not even able to get out of bed on your own and put on your own shirt. 

The dressing process is going fast. I'm sitting most of the time. An extra shot of painkiller does its job, making my body almost numb. I can hardly move myself, but at least I don't interfere with Delalieu doing his job. Like a dead man in a mortuary. Obedient and uncomplaining.

My plan is extremely simple. While Delalieu goes to get the documents, I will finish putting myself in order, and then I will choose the names of those who will be called traitors. Later I will speak to the soldiers and let them know that I'm alive. There will also be an announcement of enemies among our ranks. Their names will be announced immediately. This would be a rash move in my father's opinion, but it would save me from the risk that he would participate in the interrogation and learn too much. If they showed courage and start denying something, it wouldn't save them, given the dirt I have on them, but it would destroy my version of events.

Later I will go to the place where Juliette once again showed her abilities and try to get more information. I think that by this time, if not earlier, my father will already be at the headquarters. I will talk to him, trying to pretend that my injury wasn't as severe as my doctors say. Of course, he won't believe me, but I'll have to not look pathetic if I want him to trust  at least a little in what I'm saying.

What's next? I'll do everything I can in this situation. But a lot will depend on the father. If he gives me the opportunity to act, I will need to devote all my strength to finding Juliette, and also use my army and intelligence in the first place to hold off the rebels for as long as possible. Right now I need to maintain at least a shaky, but peace in the sector.

God willing, I will be able to get rid of my father, and I really hope to find Juliette. If Kent is with her, I'll kill him on the spot. His presence would only complicate the situation. Of course, she won't be happy about it, but she has already past the point when everything could have been settled in a more civilized way. Now we can only act from the position of strength. Although if she starts defending Kent in front of the father… I definitely need to get rid of my parent before I get her back.

"Tell me more about Kent's escape," I say as Delalieu ties my shoes.

"The soldiers arrived at Kent's location, but there was a hole in the wall. They couldn't describe exactly what it was like, but…"

"Doesn't matter. I'll see for myself. Is there anything else? They're all wounded. It can't be that there aren't some traces."

"Cart, sir."

"Cart?"

"Yes. A cart was found not far from that place. All stained with fresh blood. It seems that someone wounded was being transported on it."

"Hmm… Was it possible to get this cart through these doors?"

He freezes again, I feel his fear, I see his Adam's apple jerk down, and then back. 

"I... I'm not sure, sir…"

"So they didn't check it? Lord, do I really have to do everything myself? Okay, doesn't matter. Where does the trail lead next?"

"There are no more tracks there, sir."

"It doesn't happen that way. They couldn't have evaporated… if there was a lot of blood, there should be…" I trail off and Delalieu looks at me expectantly. "They had a car, right? They must have used it. Is there a car in Kent's house?"

"No…"

"Car tracks?"

"Sir…"

I want to shoot him.

"Order to find out all this before I go to the place."

"Yes, sir. Will be done." He finally feels joy and relief, because once again he has an assignment that he's able to carry out.

"Dismissed."

"Sir." 

With that Delalieu gives one short nod of his head and leaves me alone.

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