#like i’m enjoying everything i’m doing. except ap lit i want to burn it

[mars-ipan]

the way that menstrual hormones and an anxiety disorder can combine is so fucking vile and cruel

[allthethingamabobs]

family sticks together, bruh

Notes: I was re-watching the Bay-verse movies and suddenly got irritated at the no last name thing at the end of the second one. April O'Neil was right there. Their ride-or-die, their badass older sister, their hogosha. So here's my first contribution to the TMNT fandom. I literally wrote this in half a day, so if you see any writing errors all I gotta say is...my bad. Enjoy the found family fluff!

Rating: G

Also on AO3.

April figured it all started with a package hastily stuffed in her mailbox. It was barely small enough to fit, wrapped in that tough paper-cardboard material, and took a few careful pulls to get out. She couldn’t recall ordering anything recently, so the least she could do was try not to destroy what was most likely her neighbor’s mail. But when she flipped it over for the addressee, she was surprised to see “Mikey O’Neil” on it.

April and her “childhood pets” had been reunited four months back now, and it continued to throw her life upside down. A happy upside down, though. Those two names together were doing a number on the loner habits she’d built up since her father’s death. Apparently, all it took was four mutant teenagers and their father to start breaking down those walls.

She snapped a photo of the package and sent it to Mikey as she walked up to her apartment. Her phone lit up with a video chat request seconds later. The boys were just like any other teens when there weren’t bad guys to fight—they loved texting (on their one-of-a-kind turtle phones), sending her snaps, and video chatting whenever they could. April supposed that 15 years alone in a sewer could make one a little starved for new attention, and she was always happy to talk.

One of Mikey’s eyes filled the screen first, and then his grinning face when he pulled back. “You got it!” he hollered.

There was a thump from somewhere behind him, and Leo yelled something about peace and quiet when meditating. Then all she could see was a blurry carapace as Mikey quickly escaped to some other part of the lair. “You got it!” he cheered again, down to a whisper-yell.

“Sure did,” she answered with a smile, while making sure her apartment door locked behind her. “A little heads up would be nice, though. People do steal packages.”

“Man, that would’ve been no bueno. It has my name on it and everything.”

She shrugged—it was New York, what could she say. “About that… Mikey O’Neil, huh?”

He brightened. “Yeah! Makes sense, right? You’ve always been family even if we got separated for like, way too long, and who wouldn’t want to be a badass O’Neil?”

“Hm.” Her smile was fond even as she bit her lip to keep herself from doing something dramatic like tearing up. “You make some excellent points.”

Mikey nodded, seemingly proud of his reasoning. “You get me, April. So when are you gonna come hang out?”

“Not until tomorrow at least.” She set the phone on the counter as she turned to mess with the oven dials. “I’ve got to eat, and then a grimy bathroom and donation boxes are calling my name.”

Two weeks ago, a great aunt she hadn’t talked to since her father’s funeral had passed away and apparently left her succession rights to a New York miracle: a rent-controlled apartment above a quiet antique store. It was a dated unit and still smelled a bit like old people, but she was making it work.

A whine came from her phone. “Aw, shell… Oh, hey! We could help! Four mutants and a human are better than one!”

“That’s sweet, Mikey, but I’ve got this.” Plus, she was starting to pick up the brother’s dynamics. That visit would devolve into complete chaos in no time, given the cluttered mess. There were a lot of breakable objects she was still in the process of either packing up or donating.

“Your loss, Ape. Guess we’ll see you tomorrow.” He got up close to the camera again and whispered dramatically, “You’ll bring the package, right?”

She snorted and leaned over so he could see her face. “Pinky swear.”

“I don’t have a pinky, so I’ll have to believe you. Bye, April!”

The screen went blank, and April had a glimpse of herself in the reflection. She had to admit… her smile looked a lot more genuine these days.

In work news, however, life had been a lot of sucking up to Bernadette and the team after getting her job back, so she didn’t get down to the lair until late in the evening. Entering through the water system wasn’t exactly ideal, so they’d built a biometric, heavily enforced door as an alternative. Leo spotted her first as she shoved her way in and waved from where he was cleaning his katanas.

The new lair seemed to change every time she visited—more light-up signs or beat-up furniture appearing—and she still felt a little guilty for being the reason behind the move. The guys had assured her that they didn’t blame her, and they were having fun with the tall ceilings and tunnels in the new space. Splinter had even claimed one to start a bonsai garden.

“Hey, April! How was your day?” Leo called, carefully setting his weapons aside to get up.

“Not too bad, mostly research on some detox craze—”

“April!?” There was a crash from the back where they had set up a gym area in an upper opening. Mikey came tumbling out, almost right on top of where Raph was exiting the lower tunnel, and he gracefully avoided retaliation. “You got the goods?”

Leo shot her a confused frown, and she answered with a fond “don’t ask” look before rummaging in her bag to pull it out. “Yes, Mikey, I have the goods.”

Mikey bounced over and pulled her into a quick, bone-crushing hug before taking the package out of her hands. He ripped into it and pulled out a gaudy gold chain that looked like it once belonged in a 2000’s music video.

“Bling, bling!” he crowed and threw the shell necklace off to be replaced.

“Wait a minute, is that what was so important you had to order it?” Donnie said as he and Raph joined the group. “That’s such a waste of money!”

“Some ninja you are,” Raph snorted. “You can see that ugly-ass chain from a mile away.”

Leo hummed at that and then frowned. “Mikey, did you even ask April if you could send that to her place before you ordered it?”

Said turtle shrugged. “I knew she wouldn’t mind.”

The others seemed to erupt at once.

“Except it’s an unknown package being sent to her place, especially with the Foot Clan knowing her association with us—”

“Even worse, it’s inconsiderate to just assume—”

“Even worse, Leo? What kind of bullshit is that—”

April was an only child (well, not so much anymore), so she wasn’t used to how quickly one small thing could turn into a full blown argument. If pushing got involved, then 6-foot mutant turtles or not, she would break up that fight—yup, there’s the shoving.

“Guys, GUYS!” April moved forward and intercepted the beginning of whatever as they all avoided bumping into her. “It’s fine. You can have stuff sent to my place, I don’t care. As long as I can get it down here.”

It took a little more convincing to assure them that no, they were not imposing on her, and then they seemed excited about this new opportunity. Apparently, they’d had to scout out addresses before and sneak the package away before the occupants realized. Obviously, this was much more convenient.

Steadily, they all started to order stuff online (with what money or credit card she had no idea) and have it sent to her place. Parts for Donnie, books for Leo, and though she only felt it through the packaging, yarn for Raph. At first, Mikey was the only one who used O’Neil for the address. Then something changed, and they all started to use it too. A package of tea addressed to Splinter O’Neil gave her a small laugh one day. Raph had been the last to address himself as O’Neil, always so stubborn, and seemed almost shy when she delivered it.

April knew she was very biased on this, having seen them as teeny-tiny babies, but her little-big brothers could be pretty adorable sometimes.

---

The last name thing had come up with Splinter one day as they sat in his quiet bonsai garden, enjoying some tea while the boys burned off energy around the rest of the lair.

“I don’t want to overstep any boundaries or anything, but I’ll admit it’s… nice. My dad was really all I had for family, so it was just us and then me for so long. It’s almost like this has all… I don’t know, come full-circle? If that makes sense?”

Splinter smiled and reached out to lay his hand on hers.

“I was not lying when I said I modeled my parenting after your father. One way or another, you both cared for this family, and you know we consider you a part of it.” April nodded, a little choked up, and grasped his hand. He’d said it himself, but she wasn’t ready to fully relive how Splinter felt so familiar, so comforting.

“Besides,” he continued with a chuckle. “Michelangelo has quite enjoyed having a last name, and I think the others were a bit hesitant before they saw that you didn’t mind.”

���Of course not, I’m all for it,” April laughed, wiping under her eyes. “Now there’s more than just me to make the O’Neil name proud.”

---

One other thing she had discovered about being a big sister to four trouble-prone teens: full names were extremely effective.

“Donatello O’Neil!” she shouted the second she stepped into the lair, and all movement ceased. Leo balanced on one foot, mid-throw, Raph was mid-swing across the lair, and Mikey had an orange soda titled towards his face, where it slowly dripped down his front.

A weak “Oh, shell” came from the direction of the lab, and she stormed over. A taunt from Mikey followed but was quickly cut off with a grunt. Donnie was hunched over his desk, head turned slightly to look up at April’s furious approach.

“Why the hell did I just find a tracker in not one but all of my jackets?” She reached into her pocket, grasped the tiny devices, and tossed them on the desk. “I almost had a panic attack thinking I was being tracked by someone else. You know that’s been one of my worst fears ever since the Shredder, and we’ve talked about privacy and emergency plans, Donnie. I have a panic button on my phone, and I gave you permission to track it when absolutely necessary.” She let out a frustrated huff, pointing at the trackers. “What. Are. These?”

He’d sputtered a bit and avoided her eyes as she spoke, but he finally looked up when she stood silent, waiting for an answer. His shoulders drooped, and he wheeled back from his desk to face her. Even sitting, Donnie was only slightly shorter than her.

“Contingency plan,” he finally bit out. “Phones are most likely the first thing a kidnapper would get rid of to avoid tracking.”

“Wh— kidnapper?” That caught her off guard, and the tension in her shoulders released a little. Was there a new danger she didn’t know about? “But who… Oh.”

Movement on his tablet drew her eye, and the footage there followed a shady van that looked very familiar.

The Foot Clan—because an organization that big could still survive with their leader in jail for a year now—had disabled her turtle-approved security system and ransacked her apartment a couple of weeks ago. The cameras from across the street told them that and how the intruders had missed April coming home by a mere 12 minutes. They had obviously been searching for something specific, and she eventually realized it must have been the box of notes from Project Renaissance. Luckily, they had been stored in the lair for safe keeping.

After coming home to that mess, April called Donnie right away and started packing up her necessities. All four of the turtles had met her at her usual sewer entrance, and they formed a tense detail on the trip back. She worked out-of-office that week as she laid low in the lair and waited for the all-clear while they doubled up her apartment’s security. Splinter and the boys were good about giving her space when she was working, but she could still feel the hovering and worry. The guys had been in and out more often, Splinter always had some tea ready for her, and she just knew there had been many hushed conversations out of earshot.

Sure, deadly henchmen being in her apartment had freaked her out, but it had really freaked out her new family. April held her own against all of the weird shit they got dragged into, but there were always reminders that she did not have a shell or ninja training; a sprained ankle, one small concussion, too many bruises to remember, and even a few less inches of hair when it got singed in an explosion.

She looked between the tablet and Donnie, but now he held his gaze steady. “The Foot know where you live, and you refuse to move. This was the best way for us to always be there when you need us.” His voice was even, calculated, but his hands were clasped tightly and one foot tapped insistently.

Oh, her sweet, overprotective boys. Under all that bullet-proof shell, they were all just teenagers who had five people in the world to call family, and they did not take that for granted.

April sighed and turned to sit against the desk, holding out one hand. Donnie took it and held on, grip tight. “It comes from a good place, Donnie, but you have to tell me about these things. Trust goes both ways, okay?”

Leo, Raph, and Mikey were hovering around the entrance to the lab, and she gave them all a stern look to reiterate her point. “I know I don’t have a shell, but I am scrappy, stubborn, and awesome at running in heels.”

“Way better than the Jurassic World chick,” Mikey piped up, and Raph lightly punched his arm.

“You’re damn right,” April answered, smiling at his effort to lighten the mood. “So I appreciate the worry, guys, but you need to talk to me. I worry, too. You might forget, but you’re not invincible.”

“Better off than you,” Raph grunted. This time Mikey punched him, not as lightly. “What, it’s true!”

April sighed. “Come on, Raph, you know muscle isn’t everything.”

“No,” he grumbled, “but you got us. Whether or not you like it, we can take the hard hits.”

“What he means to say,” Leo said, shoving Raph back with his shoulder, “is that we were worried, and we didn’t think you were taking the threat seriously enough.” Donnie’s hand gripped hers a little harder, and she looked back to see him nod in agreement. “We are sorry about the secrecy, though.”

April sighed. “Fair point. You know I love you guys,” they perked up at that, “but having back-up is kind of a new thing for me. It’s habit to go solo, and it’s habit for you four to be a team.”

She held out her other hand. Leo was closest, and he took it with some hesitation. “Still a learning process all around.”

Mikey eagerly grasped Leo’s other hand and then Raph’s, refusing to let go even as Raph gave a shake, so they were all joined. “Family sticks together, bruh.”

---

The O’Neils had been a thing for awhile now, but writing it down was very different to actually saying it outloud. Mikey had no trouble claiming his new last name, and had even dubbed some pizza monstrosity he concocted from as many toppings he could get as the “O’Neil Special.” For the others, it took some time to say it—at least when she was around to hear.

Eight months. Donnie had been talking a mile a minute about a phone meeting set up with an award-winning engineer currently teaching at NYU. He’d been given 30 minutes to ask her all the questions he wanted. April had kind of bullied Vern into setting it up with his new connections, and Donnie had asked her to be there for moral support. She assured him it was all going to go great and to just make the call already. His shoulders went rigid under her hands when the call connected. “Hi! Hello, uh, this is Donatello O’Neil, I got your number from Vern? The Falcon?” She squeezed his shoulders in comfort, grinning proudly for many reasons.

One year and 2 months. Raph had been playing a one-on-one basketball game with Donnie while April refereed. Even as the self-proclaimed muscles, Raph was agile, and he did a quick maneuver around Donnie to score a perfect 3-pointer. “And Raph O’Neil makes the shot!” he whooped, doing a quick victory dance. He didn’t seem to realize it, but April certainly did. She felt warm and fuzzy after that, so she let him get away with traveling a couple minutes later.

For Leo, it just hadn’t come up yet. Although, one day she’d been stress cleaning their mess of a kitchen, and opened one beat-up book in curiosity to see “Leonardo O’Neil” neatly written on the cover page. That was enough for her.

Then her amazing family had finally gotten the acknowledgement they so rightly deserved.

“To you, brothers. Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo.” Chief Vincent paused. “Last name?”

The guys all glanced her way, and April didn’t care if her eyes were a little watery at Leo’s answer. “O’Neil.”

[thesinglesjukebox]

LANA DEL REY - THE GREATEST

[7.71]

The discourse is lit...

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Lana Del Rey's embrace of decades-old American culture has always been a window into the present, so it's no surprise that her invocations of rock music and Dennis Wilson's deaths on "The Greatest" are signposts for our own inevitable demise. But even before she concludes the song with ruminations on California wildfires, Hawaii's false missile alert, and the possible necessity of colonizing Mars, you can sense the knowing dread in the midsong guitar solo and her affected vocalizing. She declares that she's "wasted" with poise and romantic longing, stretching the word out into a rallying cry; she intimates that debauchery is not just an expected response to contemporary anxieties, but an empowering action in times of seeming powerlessness. She channels that same depressing spirit in her semi-ironic delivery of the song's most memorable couplet -- "The culture is lit and I had a ball/I guess that I'm burned out after all" -- toying with its dual meaning to succinctly portray how escapism in end times isn't indecent behavior, but a necessary means toward survival and acceptance of one's fate. The sparse guitar strums and piano melodies that close out the song anticipate the somber eventuality that awaits us, but can that be much worse than right now? Worse than a time when "dancing with you" and "doing nothing" can be nostalgic pastimes due to never ending stress? Whatever the case, we'll collectively watch as it happens; it's the "live stream" that Lana hints at in the final line, and it'll be of cinematic proportions: "the greatest loss of them all." [9]

Joshua Copperman: "The culture is lit, and if this is it‚ I had a ball." This line is everything I hate about the aesthetics of this decade, but it IS the aesthetic of this decade, at least the latter half. Apart from rare, usually unintentional exceptions, something about 2010s voice-of-a-generation songs always felt pat, apparently because they had hope. We need songs for an age when everything is so overwhelming and impossible that there's nothing left to do but give up, give in, and bide your time until the flames -- the literal ones or the David Foster Wallace ones -- consume you too. (Who by fire, who by water vapor.) The cool, detached gloominess of "The Greatest" sends the opposite message to the one producer Jack Antonoff sent years ago; I don't want to get better, because there's no time left and no point. Lana was "doing nothing most of all," and that's why she's become the figurehead for this decade's music. Not Gaga. Not Beyonce. Not Lorde. Lana. Lana won the race to the bottom because she was there first; maybe a writer once took her sadness out of context, yet if someone said "I wish I was dead already" today, the response would not rise beyond a shrug of 'mood.' I don't even like this song that much as a song. It's slow and dreary, and that "culture is lit" line sounds hackneyed and pandering in its own way. But it's because of that artificiality that the line feels authentic, which was Lana's whole thing in the first place. Maybe I'm just bitter that she became so important when I wasn't looking. To paraphrase another, equally 2019 line, I hate to see it. Especially when I was so blind the whole time. [7]

Josh Buck: "I miss New York, and I Miss you. Me and my friends, we miss rock and roll." As Lana del Rey laments her Big Apple days, it feels like a lifetime since she was a Brooklyn Baby, singing Lou Reed with her boyfriend's band. She ventured out west to create an entire California fantasia and over a handful of albums, she built a cinematic version of the Golden State that was vibrant and full of endless sun and limitless romantic possibilities; even if it was all tinged with just a dab of noir-ish danger. It was a world as fully realized and teeming with mythology as a great novel. And "The Greatest" is where she watches it all burn down. "I'm facing the greatest loss of them all." California dreams are beautiful, until you have to wake up, so she sparks a cigarette and raises a glass to the ride. But if "The Greatest" is a moment of personal reflection, it's also a celebration. It's a toast to a new Greatest Generation. A generation that created and protested, that fucked and traveled and loved in spite of a planet threatening to burn them alive, and world leaders determined to end things even quicker. It's an anthem for thriving in the face of the apocalypse. It's my favorite single of 2019, and just thinking about it triggers a million competing emotions. If all somehow make it through this moment, we'll have one hell of a story, and a hell of a song to go with it. The culture is lit, but we had a ball. [10]

Michael Hong: A couple of cycles ago, that line probably would have drawn mass scorn from critics, but for now, it may very well be the lyric of the year. Part of that may be attributed to the way the culture has shifted their view on Lana Del Rey, but another part of it is that Lana sounds the most honest she's ever sounded. "The Greatest" is an ominous but sincere reflection of the current state of the world, and Lana no longer seems content with empty depictions of American touchstones. Lines like "I miss New York and I miss the music" still rely on those same symbols, but they now feel like lived experiences rather than empty nostalgic musings. Hell, Lana Del Rey even manages not only to make "me and my friends, we miss rock 'n' roll" work but sound like one of the most profound statements you've ever heard. Lana Del Rey's hushed vocals paired with the gauzy instrumental are quietly disarming, playing out like the cinematic zoom-out at the edge of the apocalypse. And if this is it, those final laments on the outro might be the greatest way to go out. [9]

Alfred Soto: She's not the greatest, nor does she think she's the greatest, so long as she thinks the "culture is lit" and she's "having a ball," whatever that means, but I suspect it means more than the guitar solo. Narcissism as plaint. [7]

Katherine St Asaph: The core Lana Del Rey problem is that she confuses narcotic with dramatic and droning with sweeping. "The Greatest" mitigates those faults a little, but only a little, and only by borrowing some faults from classic rock. The track also smothers what could have been a fine torch song in overproduction -- the culture can't be lit if you snuff it out with a million moles of echo. It shouldn't happen that I felt more genuine things about ghosts and missing things from a perfume newsletter than this. [4]

Ian Mathers: So here's the thing; I originally wrote about and scored this song before the more exhausting parts of the whole Lana Del Rey Conversation that engulfed Music Twitter last week had happened, and I was basically saying, yeah, the conversation is interesting and has some good points but I mostly receive the song outside of it and I just like that song (and generally do, with her singles). But then... it got worse. And between the artist herself showing her ass and all of the assorted takes, the thought of listening to any of LDR's music just got more and more enervating. Some would say it's unfair or incorrect to adjust my opinion of this song, or at least to admit that those events have, in fact, adjusted my opinion of the song. But I'm a guy who wrote a Master's thesis at least partly on the idea that the context around a work of art justifiably changes not only our aesthetic relationship to it but the ontological status of the work of art itself (which is not a physical thing, not even as data). The classical example is finding out, say, a painting is a forgery, but honestly this whole thing is a great example too. Doesn't make me outright dislike "The Greatest", but does legitimately move it from being a real bright spot to a song I enjoy that I need a bit of a break from. [7]

Stephen Eisermann: Hats off to Lana and Jack for really creating an atmosphere of nostalgia that you fall into the second you hit play. Lana's vocal is tender and understated, further reinforcing the sense of longing the track aims to create; but, hearing her sing the word "lit" and the Kanye West reference stand in stark contrast to that moody guitar lick and I... I just can't reconcile the two. [4]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Lana Del Rey is deeply aware of the fickleness of the music industry. On Born to Die, that manifested in her almost-trolling approach -- aggravating, almost-rap cadences, weird production choices, even weirder lyrical ones -- that wormed its way into the pop consciousness. For her middle three albums, she refashioned herself as a thinking person's pop star, working with more respectable (and more male) figures like Dan Aurebach and A$AP Rocky as a way of positioning herself as adjacent to prestige. The music was better but also more boring. Now, with Norman Fucking Rockwell!, she has cashed all the checks that a decade of practice and following the rules of pop earn you. "The Greatest" is a thesis statement for the album's ambition. It's not just the title -- although that is a helpful indicator. It's everything: the classic rock guitars and big drum fills, the nostalgia for doing nothing of the lyrics, the way she sings them. On "The Greatest," Lana sounds done. Not exhausted, but complete, as if she could walk away from this all and not miss a second's worth of sleep. It's a big damn classic rock song that's aware of how bombastic it sounds, and yet its self-awareness does not undercut its narrative and sonic heft. It's the kind of song you can't make without making a lot of worse songs that dance around the same topics. But here, where it really counts? Lana nails it. It's a buzzer-beater of a song, rattling around the rim four times before falling in -- all the sweeter in glory for the bumps on the road before it. It's likely not the last Lana Del Rey single we'll review, but if it is, it's a fitting send-off: in response to all the fickleness of the industry, Lana rewrites her story on her own terms, and makes it sing. [9]

Jackie Powell: Norman Fucking Rockwell started as such a fascinating paradox, but didn't really continue building and evolving on what made its first third so successful. "The Greatest" is lyrically relatable and sonically beautiful. Jack Antonoff, being the wizard that he is, finds a way to wean Lana Del Rey of her noir and whining tendencies. He overdubs her potential for a beautiful vocal pairing it with brighter arrangements. It's pellucid and mellow but not a snoozefest. But its placement on this album really sold the track short. NFR loaded its most compelling tracks at the top of the project. Del Rey placed "The Greatest" after "Fuck it I love you" in a double feature of a music video, which where it should have been placed on the album. In the visual, Del Rey floats around and almost above her surroundings contemplating what's next. The haunting but gorgeously comforting guitar solo brings the listener along with Lana herself back down to earth. Lyrically and through its soft piano, the outro is what gives this song its weight and a sense of profundity. Her cultural references which include Kanye West's physical and emotional transformation and David Bowie's "Life on Mars" allow us to reflect on what we've become. Lana Del Rey does that here and on almost every record. I just wish "The Greatest" was given the proper stage to achieve the status of its moniker. [6]

Joshua Lu: The majority of "The Greatest" feels unbound by time, as Lana Del Rey reuses Extremely American words that apply to the '80s as much as today: Long Beach, New York, the Beach Boys, rock 'n' roll. Only the outro plants the song firmly in the current year -- with mentions of Mars, Kanye, global warming, and that time Hawaii thought it was about to get bombed -- and with this passage of time, these signifiers bring no joy to Lana anymore. Her sprawling sense of nihilism seeps through in her languid voice and the turgid, psychedelic guitar as she laments how her generation's time is ticking away. Tempting as it is, I'm wary to read into this song as some kind of political statement, in part because the epochs that Lana fetishizes were also rather shitty, and also because I think Lana herself wouldn't prefer this reading, as it would play into that "p" word she, erm, has expressed adversity to. Maybe that's the song's trap, that despite how alluring it is to try to ascribe some deeper meaning, it's better to just do what the song does: sit back, observe, and mourn. [8]

Alex Clifton: Lana Del Rey has a beautiful and occasionally overwhelming voice. It's haunting but for me it can be like ingesting too much cake in one sitting -- extremely rich to the point where it feels exhausting to listen to more than one song at a time. Having said that, "The Greatest" is a song that works well with Del Rey's vocals. When the first pre-chorus hits -- "those nights were on fire, we couldn't get higher" -- her breathiness feels less like an affect but sadder and more wistful, the awareness that she'll never be able to get that life back again. It's a grandiose song, strings and languid piano and a chorus of a dozen Lanas sighing "if this is it, I'm signing off," but for once the grandiosity of the production fits the message. My issue with Del Rey's persona back in the Born to Die days was that I couldn't quite make out who she was under all the artifice, flower crowns and American flags. I know that's the appeal of artists like Del Rey, whose entire careers are built off of specific personas (despite what they claim to the contrary), but I don't deal well with facades that are built that tall. Arguments about personas and performativity in music can quickly dissolve into arguments about authenticity and how much that matters to the music, and I want to stress that I don't care about authenticity in the slightest -- I just like the moments where artists aren't invincible but human. In "The Greatest" those walls crumble down and Del Rey revels in her sadness in a way that hits close to the heart. She's vulnerable and mourning over a real love rather than a fantasy, and for once I feel like persona or no, I understand the appeal of Lana Del Rey. [8]

Vikram Joseph: At 2am this morning I found myself in the smoky bedroom of a guy I hadn't met until two hours earlier, half a bottle of red wine deep and still high off the fumes of the MUNA show I'd just been to, discussing the aesthetics of Lana Del Rey's music videos (as a kind of emotional foreplay, I guess?). It struck me that this, right there, was actually a pretty good representation of Lana's aesthetic -- unlikely moments that shimmer at the fringes of reality, a doomed romanticism that bleeds into a laconic, blissful sort of nihilism. There's so much heightened emotion (close to melodrama) in her music, and yet there's a simplicity too in what she craves -- men, bars, California, sun -- that Vice described as a "revolutionary pleasure." It feels like an extremely LDR move to draw a direct parallel between lost love and the end of the actual fucking world, but it's testament to her songwriting, those aesthetics that she's worked so hard on, and the spellbinding, crystalline production on "The Greatest" that she pulls it off so completely. From the opening bars -- dignified piano chords, soft-focus acoustic guitars and cinematic strings -- it feels like an elegy; I can't help but see the crumbling, sunlit edifice of a gorgeous building when I hear this song, especially during that billowing, washed-out guitar solo, or the slow nuclear decay of the outro. "The Greatest" feels like a culmination, and a kind of closure. It's a veteran of an iconic club scene reading the memoirs of her golden years out loud, or the last time two people who once loved each other ever speak, or a beach scene at the end of civilisation. Sonically and aesthetically, it sounds cast adrift in time, and that's why it's so effective. It's the end of the world as we know it -- I don't think Lana feels fine, exactly, but maybe there's a certain comfort in finally knowing for sure that it was all for nothing. [10]

Will Adams: Lana Del Rey made a career writing elegies to American culture, which is what makes "The Greatest" as moving as it is heartbreaking. The patriotism of "American" has turned bitter. The sprawling luxury of "Shades of Cool" has fizzled. The worries expressed in "Coachella -- Woodstock In My Mind" have been realized in twisted, terrifying ways. So it makes sense that, after a few minutes of misty-eyed farewells presented with a smile ("I had a ball"), it all collapses to rubble. The gleaming classic rock evaporates into three descending chords. This, it turns out, is the greatest loss of all. Not rock 'n' roll, not a past lover, not Long Beach, not Kanye West, but everything. In that final minute, the song sinks to the ocean floor, the flaming city fading from view, the monuments and culture blurring into nothing. Del Rey is gone, too, as there's nothing left to say. There is nothing except the brutal end. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[elisajdb]

Blood Moon

Story is inspired by fanart of Goku and Chichi during a Blood Full Moon drawn by @gokuist on her twitter account. Special thanks to @gokuist for permission to write this story based on her fan art.

Summary: On the night of the Super Blood Wolf Moon, Chichi deals with the affects the moon of the lunar eclipse has on her husband. Sexy times and a little smut ahead. 

Keep running!

 Don’t let him find you!

 I need to rest! My legs are gonna give out!

 There! A cave! Hide here!

Chichi ran in the cave. He couldn’t find her here. It wasn’t very deep but it was dark enough she could be hidden from him. The poundings got closer. Everything around her shook. Heart racing, Chichi remained pressed against the wall, wishing she could melt into it. The rocks in the cave shook, the wall in the cave shook. He was getting closer. Chichi held her breath as he came into view.

 Goku in his Oozaru form. Chichi never saw the Great Ape form in Saiyans until tonight. She didn’t expect it to happen! Tonight there was a lunar eclipse where the full moon turned red. Chichi was aware of the changes a Saiyan underwent when looking at the full moon. She enjoyed the affects but tonight was different. Goku saw the blood red moon and changed into a giant ape. He blew off the top of their home and sent Chichi running and screaming in the woods.

 Luckily their sons were away at their grandpa’s but even they should feel the rise in Ki and come to her rescue. She hoped. Chichi kept herself pressed against the cave’s wall as the large foot of Goku in his Oozaru form walked by. Chichi held her breath as his foot stood in front of the cave for a period of time. Chichi prayed it would move on. She hoped in his Great Ape form Goku couldn’t read her Ki.

 Finally, after what felt like hours Goku’s foot left the entrance of the cave. Chichi released the breath she held and slowly walked to the front of the cave. Goku was moving on. She can run from here to a safer place. Before she stepped out, the head of Oozaru Goku appeared at the mouth of the cave. It’s blood red eyes gleam and his mouth turned wicked at the visual of her.

 Chichi screamed and ran back in the cave. She was trapped! Goku was at the mouth of the cave and she was stuck in this cave with no exit! Aware Chichi was trapped, Goku reached his hand inside.

 Chichi shook her head as the giant monkey hand neared her. “No! No!” She screamed as Goku wrapped her body in his giant hand and pulled her out. “Let me go, Goku! Let me go!” Once out of the cave, Goku rose to full height showing Chichi how high above ground she was. “Oh, boy! Don’t let me go! Don’t let me go!”

 Goku opened the palm of his hand. Chichi flushed realizing as she laid in his palm, her legs were spread and her gown had rose over her hips. Chichi stood and pushed down her gown. “Goku, please put me down.”

 Goku didn’t listen. Goku used his a finger from his other hand and ripped her gown off. Chichi gasped as she stood before Goku naked. She covered one arm over her breasts while her other hand covered between her legs.

 “Why did you do that? Now I’m cold. I need clothes, Goku!” Goku wiggled his pinky. Black ropes of satin that were around his pinky slipped to ChiChi’s feet.

 Chichi looked at the bindings and felt a blush run up her cheeks. “We are not doing that! You’re not in your human form!” Goku pushed the ropes closer to her. “No! No, I won’t! You can’t make me.”

 Goku lift his hand up, raising his hand over his head and Chichi higher in the sky. Chichi screamed and grabbed a finger to keep her balance and hopefully not tumble off his hand. “All right! All right! I’ll do it!”

 Goku brought his hand down where it leveled at his chin. His nostrils flared at her, blowing a warm breeze on her. “Okay. Okay.” Chichi griped as she grabbed the bindings. Chichi wrapped the ropes of satin around her neck, her breasts and waist. “I really wish I hadn’t showed you that book.” She frowned at him. “I really don’t know what you’re planning, Goku. You’re too big for me now. Just release me.”

 Goku grabbed the remaining ropes that hung at ChiChi’s feet. He wrapped it around ChiChi’s arms securing her even tighter. He lift Chichi by the ropes dangling her thousands of feet above the ground.

 Chichi screamed, “Ahh! Goku, what are you doing?!! The ropes are thin. I can fall!”

 Chichi noticed Goku wasn’t listening as his mouth opened and he pulled her closer. ‘He’s gonna eat me!’ her mind screamed. “No! Goku! Don’t eat your wife!! I’m not tasty this way!”

 Goku didn’t listen as he stuck out his wet, salivating tongue and licked Chichi between her spread legs.

 Chichi’s eyes widen to the size of saucers as he licked her again. He was eating her but in a different way. Goku’s wet tongue licked her again reaching both her holes. Chichi’s eyes rolled back. Ooh. She shouldn’t be enjoying this but the way his tongue felt….

 “Ahhh…..” Chichi tried to focus. She had to get Goku to stop. Another lick. Oh, that felt good. The tip of his tongue poke inside licking and teasing her nub. “Goku! You were warned about the full moon!” ‘Oh, do that again please!’ “Let me go!” ‘Don’t let me go. Let me come! I’m almost---‘

Chichi’s eyes popped opened. She looked around cautious as she studied the room. She was home. She was in her bedroom. Her eyes closed in relief. It was a dream. No nightmare. Chichi rubbed a hand over her face. What a horrible nightmare!

 She dreamt Goku turned into an Oozaru when he looked at the full moon during a lunar eclipse. He chased her not to eat and kill her but to mate with her.

 What the….

 Chichi could feel it but she slipped a hand to her panties to be sure. She was soaking wet! I was turned on by that dream? Chichi looked behind her. Goku was still sleeping. If Goku woke up and smelled her this way….. She quickly jumped from the bed and dash into the bathroom. She stripped out of her clothes and jumped in the shower never minding the water was cold, causing her body to shiver before it warmed up. She scrubbed her body, soaping herself vigorously between her legs. Her mind was on the dream and the reason she had it.

 Maybe it’s a sign tonight isn’t a good idea. Maybe she should’ve said no to Goku yesterday.

 Chichi was very happy. After seven years, Goku was back home again laughing, bonding and catching up with his precious family he missed over these years. Chichi was happy Gohan could bond with his Dad again; happy Goten could finally know his Daddy. She was just happy to have her husband back and her family whole again.

 The television was on in the background to the morning news as the family ate breakfast. Chichi stood at the sink washing some of the morning dishes when Gohan approached with a handful of his, Goten’s and Goku’s dishes.

 “Stargazers, will have an interesting view for tomorrow night’s lunar eclipse which has been dubbed as a Super Blood Wolf Moon,” the morning news anchor reported as images of a previous lunar eclipse filled the screen. “The full moon tomorrow night is expected to turn a rusty shade of red.”

 Chichi nearly dropped the plates Gohan handed to her. “Are you okay, Mom?”

 “Oh….” Chichi recovered with a false smile. “I’m fine.” She placed the plates in the water. “It almost slipped.”

 “Oh, well, I’m gonna get ready for school.”

 Before Gohan left the room, Goten asked. “Gohan, what’s a Super Blood Wolf Moon?”

 Gohan stood in the doorway and thought for a moment. “Basically, it’s a lunar eclipse during the first full moon of the year. Since it will happen at night, the moon will look red like it’s bleeding.” He shrugged as he left. “I guess it’s interesting to watch.”

 “Oooh,” Goten lit up at the idea of the full moon being red. “Momma, can I stay up late tomorrow night to watch?”

 “It’ll be past your bedtime,” Chichi told her son. “You’ll fall asleep before the eclipse happen. Besides, it’s really boring.”

 “I won’t fall asleep,” Goten protested, “and it doesn’t sound boring.”

 “It’s boring, Goten,” Goku said keeping his eyes on Chichi. “Me and Mommy saw one a few years ago. It made us wanna go to sleep. Remember, Chichi?” It was a little white lie. Goku and Chichi never saw a lunar eclipse together. They saw full moons together but Goku felt he dropped enough hints to Chichi to get his point across.

 Chichi didn’t dare turn around. She knew that deeper tone in Goku’s voice and she knew how he looked when he talked that way. She couldn’t believe how bold he was to speak that way in front of their youngest son!

 “Oh,” Goten sounded disappointed. “I don’t want to see it if it will make me sleepy.”

 Goku laughed. “Maybe Mommy and I will see it tomorrow night. We’ll get some really good sleep if we do.”

 Chichi whipped around to Goku; her cheeks were burning. The way he said sleep wasn’t innocent at all! Thankfully, Goten happily ate his breakfast never noticing the lustful gaze Goku sent Chichi. “Goten, finish your breakfast and get ready for school.”

 “Okay, Momma.”

 Chichi cleared more of the breakfast dishes on the table. “Goku, finish your breakfast and stop talking about sleep.”

 But Goku wouldn’t let the topic go. He made a decision. He and Chichi will see the eclipse tomorrow night. “Goten, how would you and Gohan like to spend tomorrow with Grandpa?”

 Goten looked up from his breakfast. “Oh, is it time for Mommy’s day off?”

 “Mommy’s day off?” Goku repeated perplexed.

 “Once a month, Gohan and I always spend a day at Grandpa’s to give Mommy a day off from taking care of us. We haven’t done that since you came back, Daddy.”

 “Ohhhh,” Goku turned back to Chichi and sent her the most deliciously wicked smile. “Yes, it’s exactly like that except it’ll be Mommy and Daddy’s day off.”

 Goten jumped from his seat. “I’ll tell Gohan so he knows to pack when he gets home tonight.”

 “Go….” Chichi called for her son but Goten was gone, racing to tell Gohan the news. Chichi turned to scold Goku but the look in his eyes as he rose from his seat had Chichi swallowing hard. She stepped back until she was pressed against the sink. “Goku…” she tried to sound angry but the smoldering look Goku sent her melted her anger, “you know you can’t look at the full moon. You know what that does to you. It shifts your personality.”

 Goku placed both hands on the counter. He pressed himself against Chichi. He grinned as she shuddered against him. “You know I’ve gotten control of that. I have for years.”

 “A regular full moon yes but a lunar eclipse? A blood moon lunar eclipse?” Chichi shook her head. “It could affect you differently and it’s not something I wanna test out.”

 Goku rubbed himself against her; her nervousness aroused him. “Why not?”

 Chichi pushed against him, breaking contact. “Stop that,” she scolded him. “Gohan and Goten could walk in on us at any moment.”

 It was true but Goku was feeling playful. How far could they go before the boys came back? Chichi turned her back on him and resumed washing dishes. Goku stayed behind Chichi. He slipped a hand under Chichi’s dress and down the pants of her Cheongsam.

 Chichi gasped as Goku cupped her. “Goku…..ahhh.” He was stroking her. “The boys….”

 He stroke faster. “Answer my question. Maybe I’ll stop.”

 Maybe he’ll stop?! He was holding her hostage! Chichi gripped the counter and bit her lower lip. She tried to resist him but Goku kept caressing, stroking her folds and the sensitive nerve he mastered over the years with his fingers, his tongue and teeth. She was buckling under him. “I know how we….ooooo….used to be when the…. a little more….. the full moon took over you.” she involuntarily rocked against him. “I’m older now.” He pinched her and she bit her tongue. She couldn’t alert her sons. “I can’t do that anymore.”

 Goku chuckled. His wife was silly. “Ah, Chichi, you’re in better shape now. You can do more now than what we did then and we will tomorrow night.” He wasn’t backing away from this. Goku felt the Ki of their sons. They were still in their room but they should be almost done getting ready. He had to hurry. Goku raised his Ki, his hair stood up but it remained black while his eyes changed to teal. His fingers pulsed with energy. He touched Chichi’s sensitive nerve while whispering in her ear. “Now…come.”

 That touch of energy touching her most sensitive area was Chichi’s undoing. She gave in to his command, screaming while releasing herself on his busy hand. Chichi was still dazed while coming down from the high Goku gave her. Her body was not in control as she felt herself became a warm bundle in the crook of Goku’s arms. The sexual fog cleared from her mind as she felt Goku hard against her backside. She tried to breakaway but Goku tightened his hold on her.

 “The boys are coming,” he whispered. “Behave.”

 As predicted, Gohan and Goten entered the room. Chichi noticed Gohan looked puzzled while Goten looked concern.

 “I thought I heard Momma scream,” Goten said.

 Goku chuckled. “I was playing with Mommy.” His hands tickled Chichi’s waist causing her to yelp in response. “See?”

 Goten giggled. “Oh, yeah. Dad is brutal as the tickle monster.”

 Chichi noticed Gohan didn’t appear easily convinced but he was old enough to not say anything. He tugged Goten’s arm. “Come on, Goten. Let’s leave Mom and Dad alone and go to school.”

 Goten waved. “Bye, Momma. Bye Daddy! Go easy on Mom, Daddy.”

 Go easy on her Chichi snorted. Goku didn’t go easy on her in the kitchen, their bedroom or shower. She found herself saying yes to whatever Goku wanted including tomorrow night.

 With Gohan and Goten away at their grandfather’s, Goku and Chichi enjoyed their time alone. That morning Chichi confessed her worries to Goku about tonight which he brushed off with a laugh and assured her multiple times nothing bad will happen. Chichi relaxed to engage in a morning spar (something for Goku), a ride on Nimbus to the city for an afternoon movie (something for her) and shopping in an adult boutique for later (something for them). Chichi had her concerns about tonight but by evening decided her dream last night was only a dream playing with her fears.

 By eleven that night, Chichi looked out the window to see the full moon. When she checked the skies twenty minutes ago, she saw more than half the moon covered in red. Now it was a full blood red. Goku hadn’t looked at the moon; preferring to wait until the full eclipse happen to see the entire moon painted in a dusty red color.

 “Are you really that nervous?” Goku asked holding Chichi’s hand as they walked to the door.

 “Yes. You’ve never seen a red full moon before.”

 “But I’ve seen full moons. I have control.”

 “What about that one time?”

 “One time?”

Chichi frowned. How could Goku forget? “Gohan. He came to our door one night. You were irritated with him.”

 “I was so close, Chichi. I was right there,” he defended himself. “And Gohan knocked before I came.” He and Chichi were too loud that night that Gohan knocked on the door concerned. Goku sent Gohan away confusing the boy with his irritation. The next morning Goku apologized to Gohan. Thankfully his son accepted his odd behavior. In fact, he apologized to Goku saying it was foolish to knock on the door, thinking there was trouble when Goku was capable of taking care of himself and his Mom.

 “It’s different this time,” Goku promised as he opened the door. “He’s not here but why do you want us outside?”

 “Just in case my dream comes true and you changed into an Oozaru. I don’t want you wrecking our home.”

 “I need a tail for that,” Goku reminded her. “I don’t have one anymore.” Chichi still looked worried. Goku tried to ease Chichi’s worries with a kiss. Breaking away, he wrapped an arm around her and stared at the full moon.

 The eclipse was at its peak now. From what Chichi read, it will last an hour before the moon moves out of Earth’s shadow. Goku and Chichi stared at the crimson moon in awe.

 “There it is,” Chichi remarked after moments of silence. “It looks beautiful.”

 “Wow,” Goku murmured mesmerized. Staring at the full moon affected him as it always had before but Goku had control of it. Except this time something felt different. He didn’t feel like he will transform into an Oozaru but something was different. Still, he will go ahead with what he initially planned for Chichi. “It looks like the moon is bleeding.”

 Chichi kept her eyes on the moon; too nervous to look at Goku as she asked, “How do you feel?”

 Goku released Chichi. “I feel fine except….” Goku clutched his sides and crumpled to the ground in pain.

 “Goku!” Chichi called worriedly.

Chichi went to him but Goku stumbled forward growling as he put distance between himself and Chichi. He covered his hands over his face, snarling like an animal.

 “Oh, no!” Chichi worried this would happen. She knew Goku looking at the blood moon was a bad idea. Her dream tried to tell her but she didn’t listen. Chichi was split on what to do. Her mind told her to get inside and call Gohan but her heart told her she couldn’t leave Goku like this.

 She obeyed her heart rushing to Goku’s side. “Goku? Honey?” She shook him. “Fight the transformation. Fight it! Don’t change into an Oozaru!”

 Goku stopped snarling but his hands still covered his face. He broke away and turned his back on Chichi. Worried, scared, Chichi touched Goku’s shoulder. Her heart pounded so fast, she was scared it will burst from her chest; her palms were sweating. “Goku? Are you still you?” Goku dropped his hands from his face. Chichi braced herself for what she will see. Goku turned to Chichi growling and flashing sharp vampire like fangs in his mouth. Chichi screamed and ran towards the house. When she reached the door, she didn’t hear growling. She heard laughing.

 Chichi turned to see Goku lying on the grass and clutching his sides in laughter.

 He was laughing? She was worried all day, confessed her concerns about what could happen to him and he used it to mock her? Chichi stomped back to Goku and dropped to his side. Getting a closer look at her laughing husband, Chichi saw the fangs in Goku’s mouth were plastic. Feeling embarrassed and duped, Chichi’s blood boiled. She slapped his chest irritated. “That was not funny! I was scared you were changing into an Oozaru!”

 Goku was laughing so hard he was crying. “You should’ve seen your face, Chichi! It was so funny!”

 “It was not!” Chichi screamed and slapped him again.

 Lying on his back, Goku stared directly at the moon again. His laughter died and he drowned out Chichi’s yelling as he focused on the beauty of the blood moon. So pretty, Goku thought. So bright. Goku’s body suddenly stiffened as a familiar shudder washed over his body. Something felt different with him. He felt it when he initially looked at the eclipse. Now mesmerized at the moon’s red glow, he knew why he was feeling different and where. “Chichi…. something just happened.”

 Chichi rolled her eyes as she got on her feet. “Ha. Ha, Goku. I’m not falling for that again.” She left him and walked back to the house, still feeling humiliated.

 Goku got up and quickly followed after her. “No,” he tried to tell her. “I really feel different. I think…..I think…..”

 Chichi turned when she reached the door. She was ready to yell at him but his face told her he was serious. “What…..” she looked him over. He looked fine. Physically, he didn’t look different but something was wrong. “What is it?”

 A brown furry tail wrapped itself around Chichi’s wrist. Chichi’s eyes nearly bugged out of its socket. “Yo—you—your—“ Chichi went behind him and pulled his pants down slightly. She had to see it to be sure. “Your tail grew back!”

 Images of Chichi’s dream flashed in her mind. She stepped away from Goku. “You’re gonna change into an Oozaru!” She remembered what he did to her in that dream. “You’re gonna have sex with me with your tongue!” Chichi screamed. Chichi turned to run in the forest but Goku appeared before her in a flash.

 Chichi stepped back. She knew Goku could move fast. When he’s serious in a fight he would move too fast for her eyes but he was never this way to her. If she ran away, he’ll let her run a few feet before he gave chase but this time, he wasn’t letting her go anywhere. She turned attempting to run in the opposite direction but Goku appeared before her again.

 Goku’s tail wrapped around Chichi’s waist and pulled her so her body pressed against his. Chichi’s eyes widen feeling Goku’s arousal pressed against her. Her eyes slowly moved up to Goku’s. There was no mistaken the lust in his eyes or the hardness of his…

 “I don’t feel like I’m gonna change into an Oozaru,” his voice was deep, serious and void of any innocence, “but I do wanna fuck you. Badly.”

 “Don’t say that!” Chichi screamed. “We agreed to never say that word when we want intimacy!”

 “But that’s what I wanna do.” He rubbed against her. “I have this urge to pin your body against mine and drive into you with your voice screaming in my ear.”

 When a Saiyan’s sexual needs was awakened, one didn’t say no; one couldn’t say no. But Chichi will try. “We need to figure out why you have a tail again. Is it the eclipse? Is it permanent? Will it go away when---“ she was silenced with Goku’s lips pressed against hers.

 He kissed her as if he was starving! Whatever fight, whatever resistance Chichi had in her withered away like a snuffed flame as Goku’s tongue slid between her lips, licking, tasting her; her body sagged against his as she gave him full control. Goku gripped her hips; rubbed his straining shaft against her, rubbed his clothed chest against hers.

 Clothed? Oh, they had to get rid of that.

 Goku broke the kiss from Chichi. Chichi barely had time to catch her breath as Goku’s tail unfurled around her waist; her body was lifted and tossed over Goku’s shoulder as he carried her back in the house.

 They reached the bedroom in seconds. Chichi gulped as Goku removed his clothes; his body rippled with muscles; his presence was so commanding; his new tail flicked excitedly as he approached. She was mesmerized. Whatever he wanted, she couldn’t say no. She wouldn’t say no.

 Chichi shivered as Goku undressed her, discarding Chichi of her robe, revealing the sexy lingerie he picked out for her at the boutique underneath. He kissed and licked the skin of her neck. “You smell so good.” He nipped her skin as a hand massaged a breast. “Taste so good.” He pulled her gown over her head. Naked except for the sexy underwear, Goku licked his lips. “I can’t wait anymore.”

 He picked up Chichi and nearly tossed her on the bed. Chichi’s dazed look had him chuckling. He didn’t understand what was going on with him except he liked it! He was driven with mad lust. He knew he should question why his tail returned but he didn’t care. His mind and body was driven with needs he needed to satisfy.

 He pressed his hands at the foot of the bed and crawled over Chichi until he was even at her face. He could hear her heart racing, smell her tasty scent between her legs. His mouth watered. He needed her and he couldn’t wait. He settled his body over hers and pulled her lips in a slow, sensual kiss that quickly grew with hunger and need.

 Seduced by his kisses, Chichi’s hands roamed over his broad back and shoulders. She shivered feeling his muscles move under her hands, reminding her he was the strongest man on this planet, possibly the universe and he was hers; always and only hers.

 Breathing became impossible for Chichi so he pulled away. He kissed her until she was breathless. He covered a nipple with his lips, swirled his tongue around Chichi’s tiny bud and suckled it deeply in his mouth.

 “Goku!” Chichi’s breathy cry croon across the room. Her nails dug in his shoulders. Desire spread over her body as she felt herself coming undone by Goku’s tongue and hands. Her breasts swelled and nipples ached as Goku continued to feasts upon her breasts like a final meal. So many licks, kisses and bites. Her wet sex throbbed as Goku bit down on a nipple.

 “More,” her back arched into his mouth; her hips grind against his hard chest as she begged he continue. He obeyed kissing down her muscled stomach to her navel; his tongue circled the muscles, his teeth nipped at her skin.

 A sharp cry and husky moan escaped her lips. Goku’s biting could always drive her towards the edge. Goku lifted his head to give Chichi a devilish grin. So sneaky, so manipulative when he wanted to be. Goku knew exactly what he was doing to her and she enjoyed every minute of it.

 Pleasure consumed her as Goku descended to her covered sex. He had yet to remove her soak panties and she knew why. She smirked as Goku studied the new garment, licking tentatively and inhaling the mixed scents until he couldn’t wait anymore and bit down hard and ripped the undies with his teeth.

 Her edible undies.

 It was something they were both curious about when they saw it at the boutique. Goku, being the free spirit that he is, wanted to try it and Chichi could never say no to Goku when he made a request when it came to their intimacy.

 “So,” Chichi asked as Goku munched on her edible garment, “how is it?”

 “Caramel,” he swallowed and licked his lips, “combined with your sweet taste is my new favorite meal!”

 Chichi’s fingers dug into the sheets as Goku’s teeth ripped her the rest of her edible garment and his tongue slipped inside, coating his mouth and mixing Chichi’s taste with the sweet caramel in his mouth.  She was his meal as his tongue licked and sucked at her hardened sensitive nerve. Her legs clamped around him as he dove deeper inside her; her breath quicken with each flick of his tongue. “Ah! Deeper, Goku,” Chichi instructed. She panted as her fingers threaded his hair, massaging him, encouraging him. She was close, so close. “I need….I need……ohhh…”

 When his teeth gently scraped at her hardened clit, Chichi came hard, fisting her fingers in his hair. Her hips jerked off the bed as her body convulsed under him. Her body fell back against the bed with a soft thump. Her fingers drew lazy circles from her breasts to her stomach as she watch Goku continue to lick as she recovered.

“Goku…..” she tenderly massaged his head. “It’s my turn with your body.”

 Goku raised himself from her legs and licked his wet lips. He shook his head; the sly grin returned. “I wanna do something first; something I always wanted but couldn’t do.” Chichi’s confusion at what he wanted amused him. He rose so his straddled over her with his hardened penis at her wet folds. Chichi still looked confused until his tail slipped between her spread legs.

 Chichi sucked in air feeling Goku’s soft, furry appendage enter her, stretching her. She dug her nails in his arms as he found the right rhythm thrusting his tail in her while rubbing his hard penis against her. The more he thrust, the more his tail slipped in, the more his shaft rubbed against her sensitive folds, the more screams tore from her throat.

 Chichi couldn’t think. She could only feel; feel Goku thrust in her; feel Goku rubbed himself against in her. Sweet Kami, if he was doing this with her tail, what will he do when he stuck his hard rod in her? Her body shook under him as a second orgasm washed over her.

 Goku almost cracked feeling Chichi squeeze his tail but he gritted his teeth and fought down his own release. Drops of liquid oozed from him and landed on Chichi who gaze at him with heavy lidded eyes. He was panting as his tail slipped out of her.

 Goku meant to adjust himself before settling himself in Chichi when she surprised him by grabbing his tail. Dammit! He forgot his tail was always his weak spot! Goku grabbed the sheets and steady his body so he didn’t fall on Chichi. Chichi slide down a little further on the bed to make herself comfortable.

 “As I said,” Chichi gave him a gentle squeeze, “it’s my turn with your body.” Before he could ask what she planned to do, Chichi pulled the end of his tail in her mouth.

 “Chichi!” his body locked up, his breath left his lungs as warm pleasure consumed him. He couldn’t think, only focus and feel Chichi’s warm, wet tongue swirling around his tail. She was master over his body as he was master over hers. The urge to fight a strong opponent despite the danger and risks was a weakness of Goku’s but this, what Chichi was doing to him, what she meant to him was a weakness he kept hidden from the world; a weakness only she knew and exude over him in times like this.

 “Ah!” He cried out feeling Chichi rubbed the root of his tail at his backside, caressing and pinching while she continued to suck him until he couldn’t hold back anymore. “Damn!” he groaned as his shaft spurted spilling release on Chichi’s chest and stomach with some rolling onto the sheets. He dropped catching himself on his elbows so he didn’t fall completely on Chichi.

 Chichi pulled his tail out, smirking at Goku as he recovered. She was very pleased with herself. Goku mirrored her smirk as he settled on her. “This is why you are my wife,” he whispered as he dropped kisses on her face. “This is why I love you.” His mouth covered hers again with raw hunger. One of her legs rubbed against his as they kissed and touch each other until Goku was fully aroused again.

 “I need you inside me,” Chichi whispered, nibbling Goku’s ear as he adjusted himself. “I need to feel you.”

 Goku entered Chichi with one thrust, burying himself to the hilt. Chichi howled as her nails dug in his back again as Goku filled her. Her body stretched and she sighed at the wonderful sensations Goku stoke in her with each thrust. His body slapped hers, plunging deep and hard. Each thrust sank her deeper in the world of lust Goku created for them. “You like that….” He groaned as he pushed himself deeper.

 “Kami…Goku….” Chichi gasped at the sweet pummeling her body was receiving. She liked it! She liked it a lot!

 “No!” Goku growled, startling Chichi. “You only say my name!”

 As if punishing Chichi for her slip, he thrust faster which only fueled Chichi. The bed creaked and groaned as if pleading for its occupants to slow down. Chichi didn’t want Goku to slow down. She wanted him to keep going harder and faster inside her. Chichi was so glad her sons weren’t home. There was no way she could contain her screams with the way Goku pounded his body against hers. He looked possessed consume with satisfying the base needs of his body.

 To her shock, he pulled out and flipped Chichi on her hands and knees before plunging back in her. He gripped her hips, plunge deep and slammed his body against hers. There will be bruising from both their bodies when this was over.

 “Goku…. I can’t….I need to….” This was too much. The pleasure was too much. The more Goku rode her, the more she wanted to hold off her orgasm if only to enjoy this sweet pleasure a little more but her body didn’t obey. Instead it betrayed her exploding into the sweetest pleasure she imagined. As her body was consumed, she clench and squeeze Goku pulling him over the edge. She felt Goku bury down her shoulder, digging her skin with his sharp teeth as he growled his release. He gripped her hips as he poured his seed deep within her.

 Chichi’s legs crumpled under her as her body sagged to the soft sheets. Goku’s body nearly smothered hers as he sank with her. For several moments, neither moved; neither said anything as both succumbed to sleep.

 Goku woke up to find Chichi’s body curved against his. Her lovely scent teased his nose as she slept soundly against him. His lips turned up in a grin when he noticed one of his hands held onto Chichi’s breasts. His thumb played with a nipple until it hardened under his fingers. He pinch it, earning a moan and a slight jerk from Chichi as she slowly awakened.

 Chichi shuffled rolling on her side to face him. “Goku?” she yawned sleepily. She winced at the bright light coming from the window. It was morning already? “Did we fall asleep afterwards?”

 “I think so.” Goku rubbed the back of his head. “That’s not usually us. We usually get another round or two in.”

 Chichi chuckled as she rolled on all fours and stretched like a cat. “Mmm. Maybe we’re getting old.”

 Watching Chichi stretch her fit and limber body, Goku felt his lower body reacting. No. They weren’t old. Not yet, but something did happen last night. “I remember everything,” Goku told her. “No memory lapses.”

 Chichi sat up in bed facing Goku. “That’s good.” Chichi gasped as she recalled last night. She leaned over him to stare at his backside. “Goku.” She was stunned at what she saw or rather she didn’t see. “Your tail is gone.”

 “Wha….?” Goku reached behind him. Sure enough his tail wasn’t there. He felt the tail stub that’s been on his back for twenty years. “What happened to my tail?” he whined. This wasn’t fair. He was getting used to having his tail back and enjoying the advantages he got a taste of last night.

 Chichi pondered herself what happened to Goku. “Do you think it only came back because of the blood moon eclipse? You’ve seen other full moons before and nothing happened but this was different.”

 That was something to consider. He did feel differently this time than the other nights he saw the full moon. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe this means I can grow my tail back.”

 “It is a new body,” Chichi told him. “Your last body was destroyed when you blew up with Cell. Maybe when that Old Supreme Kai revived you, he revived everything from you including your tail but since you always assumed it was gone, you never thought it could return until the blood moon.”

 Goku considered Chichi’s words. It made a lot of sense. He grinned. With enough training, he could grow his tail back. It could be a permanent part of him instead of something that will only appear one night every few years.

 “Then again, it might not have anything to do with having a new body and it’s something that will only appear once during a blood moon.”

 “I hope not, Chichi,” Goku confessed. “I would hate to have my tail grow back every few years.”

 “Because you miss it?”

 “Well, yeah, but it would also mean I can only stick it in your butt every few years. It’s not fun waiting to do that. I always wanted to try it and I missed my shot last night.”

 A soft pillow slapped Goku’s face. Goku pushed the pillow aside to see Chichi walking away to the bathroom. “Honestly, Goku! Of all the things to say.”

 “What?” He whined as he jumped out of bed. He quickly followed after Chichi. “You suck my tail last night. Don’t act like you never thought about it.”

[ccjinxxandjake]

Done for You: 2

Chapter Title: I am Bulletproof

Author: Max

Word Count: 6,076

Warnings: Fluff, angst, smut, suicide, suicide notes, character death, minor character death, implied/referenced character death, original character death(s), temporary character death, past character death, near death experiences, child death, animal death, not really character death, possible character death, near death, slow burn, slow to update, slow romance, tags may change, rating may change

Rating: Teen audiences and up

Summary: A fanfiction based off of Wretched and Divine and Vale aka an overhaul of a fanfiction that I had been writing for a few years.

Main pairing: Undecided

Author’s Note: Don’t forget to comment because comments are what keep me going and make me want to continue writing. I do not get paid to write this and I could be using this time to study for my AP Government and Politics exam and all of my college courses (I’m a dual enrollment child). Comments are your way of giving me my “paycheck” and feedback on my writing so I can improve to actually earn a paycheck from this in the future. So please help me put by commenting, liking and reblogging this.

The warm California air hit my face as we drove into the city. My hair blew in the wind, hitting me in the face. CC and Ashley’s hair blew back and hit my noise as well. I smiled and looked at CC, who seemed to be having a grand time. Ashley seemed to be having a good time too. I smiled and danced in the backseat. Ashley looked in the rearview mirror and at me. I watched them sing along to the music and just be so carefree. These are the moments I held close to me. We didn’t get these moments very often. When we did, we clutched to them harder than normal people. We were just too damaged to not hold onto the good movements. CC had gone through an eating disorder and years of depression. He had been in and out of hospitals most of his life. Up until recently, he had spent a few years in an inpatient eating disorder ward, one controlled by F.E.A.R. He knew what kind of mind games F.E.A.R used on people. He knew what kind of tactics they used to make people submissive. CC was useful to all of us as Wild Ones. He knew what went down with the community that oppressed us. He had the best experience with them. Ashley also had experience with F.E.A.R but less of a first hand experience. Ashley’s parents worked for F.E.A.R and so did his grandparents. luckily, his grandparents had escaped and joined the first generation of Wild Ones. He was the only one who knew what went down with F.E.A.R and he allowed some more insight into F.E.A.R. He said that they were pretty terrible and were responsible for his parent’s car crash. We had very little evidence of that right now. We were sure we would get more evidence once Angie came back from her mission. She was supposed to be extracting more information about Ashley’s parents. Apparently there were some files on their deaths at F.E.A.R head quarters. I guess it was super important for Ashley to see them. He says that his parents death wasn’t an accident. That is was apart of a plan, a conspiracy. I was the only one who was very close to F.E.A.R but that was only by birth. But, I wasn’t useful for any sort of information. Andy said that the Wild Ones were the first people to find me and I believed him. I had no reason not to. I had no other memories proving him wrong. I never knew who my parents were and I hoped they weren’t that big in F.E.A.R but assuming I came out of a Shadow, they probably were. Either that or they were druggies, homeless or just couldn’t take care of me. I assumed that they were good people. I assumed they were able to give me a good life, whoever they are. Maybe I sound a bit too much like Annie but it’s the truth. I wanted them to be good people so badly. It only made sense, I was a good person so they had to be. Ashley finally pulled into the parking lot, parking the car as far away from the Target. He pulled off his clothes and motioned for us to get out of the car. I got out and held CC’s hand as we watched Ash clean out the car. Ash was always through with the cars we stole. He cleaned it down and stripped the VIN number. He looked at me and smiled lightly. Ash motioned for us to put our hoods up, we did, and we walked towards the entrance. “We’ll have to scope for a new car but that’ll be pretty easy. Don’t think many people are going to pay attention to us, at least I hope no one pays any attention to us.” People normally left their keys in their cars. It was Los Angeles but it wasn’t what it once used to be. It was said that Los Angeles was full of people who wanted to make it big in the industry. More and more people soon came their to start their careers. Skin thin models ran alongside purvey men looking for another child actor to feed off of. The downtown area had more of a suburban feel to it. All of the rockstars, actresses and models had either joined the Wild Ones or became mind controlled zombies of F.E.A.R. Work in LA had dried up and the whole city was revamped. It was still the health conscious city it always was, just with a more normal batch of people. It was safe and clean, perfect almost. F.E.A.R had done a good job at cleaning up cities, pulling out anyone who didn’t belong. The store was brightly lit with fluorescent lighting. The hum of them drowned out what little conversation was going on. CC went off in search of some candy while Ash and I went to the food aisles in search of actual food. We filled my pockets with frozen meals and whatever bread I could shove into my pockets. CC came back moments later with his pockets stuffed to the brim with candy. Ash shook his head and continued to stuff more reasonable food into my pockets. “He’s getting a little more handsy, don’t you think?” CC whispered in my ear, shooting a look at Ashely who was more concerned with actually getting food than focusing on our conversation. “Don’t think a guy like him could ever swing that way. Even if he did, I’m sure he’d try to knock Juliet out before he made a move on Andy.” I shot a look at Ashley as he pulled out some frozen pizzas. We could easily pull three hundred dollars worth of food out of here, but we would need a lot more than that to feed eleven people. “Nah, Andy isn’t an Ashley type as much as he likes to think that. We all know Andy would swing more for a Jinxx type anyhow. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were fucking right now.” CC kept an eye on Ashley and any cameras that were in place. “Okay, and? What does Andy’s type have to do with Ashley being all handsy?” I shot another look at Ashley and pulled out some frozen mashed potatoes. “Well, it seems like he’s putting out feelers. He’s trying to get you to make the first move, verbally at least. I bet you he actually likes you.” A heat creeped to my cheeks as I looked over at Ashley once more. “There’s no way in hell he actually likes me. If he did, it would be a risk to even ask me out. It would be an even bigger risk for me to ask him out. You both know where we stand. If we got together, all hell would break lose.” “Fuck Andy and his stupid rules. He shouldn’t be able to do that to you. He shouldn’t control you. Just because you’re an important asset doesn’t mean you can’t be a bit more relaxed sometimes,” CC looked up at the camera as it whirred a bit, zooming in on his face. Panic set in one his face as he looked down at us. My stomach dropped. I knew what he was going to say almost immediately. “We have to go, like right now. They got me.” We were fugitives of the law. Wild Ones were of course put on an immediate watch list because we were actively committing treason against our president. But there were a few other reasons they wanted us. Andy was an escaped CIA agent and Ashley’s parents were agents of F.E.A.R. CC was an escaped convict, wanted for some weird reason. We don’t even know what his original crime was. Jake was wanted for the most crimes. Jake was wanted for animal abuse and neglect, he used human insulin on a dog. He tried justifying it but to no avail. He was wanted for scamming people. He had a clothing line that he overpriced. Jake was also wanted for harassment. He bullied a little girl, told someone to kill themselves, constantly called people names and bullied his ex-girlfriend/fiancé with his own wife for no reason. Jake was still bullying his peers, which sucked because he would never listen to us. He created massive hype for a song that no one really enjoyed which incited a riot, so he was wanted for that. Jinxx was wanted for hacking and arson. He was also wanted for doxxing people, but that was for the FBI to handle and not the local police. Ashley perked to attention upon hearing CC’s words and grabbed my hand. He dragged me, a few frozen dinners falling out of my coat. I grabbed CC’s hand and dragged him along with me. I dashed along with Ash and CC, trying to keep up with their long legs. My shortness was good for everything except for running. I tried to keep up but I had to stop every so often for my legs to catch a break. Ash and CC got a car wired up while I took a break. We were about a block away from the Target now. I could hear police sirens wailing in the distance. They pulled the car up alongside me and I jumped onto the roof of the car. I smiled and tapped the front of the car for good luck. Ashley shook his head as I turned to look at him. CC smiled widely and I could only assume he was giggling at my antics. There was no way I would have time to get into the car with the police on our tail. As soon as Ashley started the car, the police rounded the corner. I smiled and hopped onto the top of the car. The police were on our tail now. I knew it wasn’t a good idea, standing on top of a car we had just stolen, but the police had never chased us before and I was on a high. The police didn’t say anything as we weaved in-between cars. I smiled and just let myself enjoy the ride. I giggled and looked at down at my boys. CC was screaming something about feeling free and Ashley was focused on the road. We pulled onto the freeway and I prayed to god that we would lose them. “Get off of the car, miss.” The crackling sound of the megaphone covered up some of the message but I could get the gist of it. I growled lightly and rolled my eyes. Was my face really that feminine? I looked down at Ashley and his eyes popped up to look at me. “If they say ‘miss’ one more time then you can go off on them, okay? If you go now, it’ll look a bit suspect. But the second time will look a bit less suspect. Plus, we have to wait until they start shooting. We need to get them off out tail, okay?” Ashley yelled up at me. I nodded, a pain growing in my hands as claws formed from my hands. The loud screech of nail on metal pierced the air. A burning pain came from my shoulder blades and I smiled. As much as I hated having wings, they came in handy sometimes. I latched on as Ashley began to erratically through the cars. “Miss, please get off the car.” The cop in the passenger side of the car pulled out a gun and started shooting, trying to pop a tire. I smiled, my cue to go absolutely batshit on them. I leapt off the car and flew into the air. My claws latched into the glass of the windshield. The cop in the passenger seat looked at me, terrified. The other cop seemed to think nothing was wrong. Good, I truly was only visible in this form to people who believed in demons. I guess the man was an atheist as most other people would believe in some sort of demon. A small smile appeared on my face. I turned and looked at Ashley, who was about half a mile away from us. I ripped off the windshield off and threw it onto the pavement beside me. I reached in and grabbed his throat, crushing it in one fatal squeeze. He didn’t even struggle with me. I reached over and killed the other cop the same way. He didn’t struggle much either, which was good. The car spun out of control and I reached in, grabbing the wheel. The other hand reached and flung the driver out of the window. I tossed the passenger out of the now open hole that once was the windshield. I gained control of the car, turned off the sirens and pulled up next to Ash and CC. Ash gave me a thumbs up and I gave him one back. I smiled and pulled off the highway, exit 120, and onto the desert. Ash followed close behind me. We pulled up towards our abandoned apartment building. Well not really abandoned, just forgotten about. It was way out of anyone’s reach and no one wanted to trek half an hour into the city almost every day or time they wanted food. Not many people wanted this kind of seclusion but the Wild Ones enjoyed the privacy. We didn’t want anyone butting into our business. “Think anyone followed us?” I asked, looking at Ash as I jumped out of the car. Ash smiled and shook his head. “Probably not, unless they put in an APB for all of us. I’m sure F.E.A.R soldiers are on their way though. We are all wanted and they scanned CC’s face. He can’t go out for a while, they’ll be searching for him.” Ashley looked over CC and scanned him for any injuries. He did the same to me and I did the same to him. We all looked relatively okay, but Juliet would have to check us out, she was the healer of the group. I nodded and looked down, heading inside. We passed a few normal people, those who wanted to just get away from the city. I smiled and headed up to our apartment. “What the hell was that, Max?” Andy stormed up to me, arms crossed in front of my chest. I rolled my eyes and looked at him. 
“It wasn’t all my fault. I wasn’t the one who was caught on camera.” I turned and pointed at CC. Ash rolled his eyes and looked at me. “Why do we have to throw CC under the bus?” Ash looked over at CC, he looked at me. Andy looked at me and smiled. “It’s the truth, he was the one who was caught on camera. He was the only one who kept looking directly at it.” I looked at Andy and sighed. “You were on TV. People saw you, Max.” Andy glared at me and sighed lightly. I just walked away. I wasn’t ready to deal with an angry Andy just yet. I waited in my bedroom. I didn’t know what I was waiting for, I never did. Yet, I was still waiting for something. The bedroom was just an old room with crumbling walls and possibly mold. I had tried to fix it up, with duct tape no less, but to no avail. It wasn’t supposed to be much though. We moved around a lot. F.E.A.R kept a lot of tabs on us. My bed wasn’t that much either. It was a little fold up twin bed. It had some hand me down sheets as well. There were holes and such from moths and wear. I sighed and flopped onto the thin mattress. It wasn’t much, but it was mine. A place away from everyone. All the yelling and all the other people. I was a bit of an introvert anyhow. I hated being around a lot of people and being around nine men and one genderfluid person, made me feel so drained. Sometimes I hated being around other people. “Max, what the hell is wrong with you? You probably got us tracked.” Andy stood in the doorway and looked at me. “It wasn’t my fucking fault, okay?” I turned over in my bed, facing away from him. I curled into the ratty teddy bear my adoptive dad had given me. “Was it really all CC’s fault? If you weren’t so hungry, you wouldn’t have gone on a raid. CC wouldn’t have gone with you and gotten caught, now would he?” He looked at me and all over my body. “Where’s Juliet? I think I’ve got some injuries or at least some minor ones.” I looked over at Andy and watched his face twist in disgust. “She should be in the basement doing god knows what.” Andy nodded in her general direction. I got up and moved lightly. I walked all the way downstairs and into Juliet’s lair. She wasn’t just a natural healer, she was a witch as well. But she never really did much with it. She normally kept to herself. Juliet kept to herself besides trying to fuck Andy. We let her be most of the time. Juliet never seemed to mind much either. She was just doing her thing and we let her be, she was okay. I looked down and frowned a bit as I opened the old wooden door. It creaked a bit as I opened it. Juliet was looking over some of her own books. Her face looked at me as I peaked in. “What do you want from me?” Her eyes scanned my body as I stepped further into the room. I smiled lightly, our relationship wasn’t all that good. Apparently I had stolen her man or something like that. “I just want you to check me for some injuries, see if you can do anything about the ones I have. I mean, that is if I have any.” I looked at her as I walked over to her workbench. I sat on the only open space and peeled off my shirt. The sooner I got out of here, the better. She looked at my chest. “I saw the chase, doesn’t seem like you would have any injuries, but I guess I’ll check you over.” She began looking me over for any wounds. It appeared as though I had none. “Yeah, Ashley was worried that we might have any injuries. Ones we couldn’t see, but I doubt it.” I looked her over and sighed, she was worryingly skinny. She probably hadn’t eaten in a few days. “Yeah, you were right. There are no injuries I can see. You’re pretty much okay.” She shooed me off and I got up, grabbing my shirt off the table and walked outside. It was such a good day outside, is I decided to head out and sit out for a bit. I grabbed a lawn chair and sat on it. Today was going to be super nice. It was already turning out to be a good day. I had gotten into a police chase and I had sustained no injuries. I was on cloud nine. I smiled and just let myself get a bit of a tan. I giggled and looked at Ashley, who was working on burning the cars. He was shirtless and only wearing a pair of boxers. I smiled and looked him over. He was a good looking guy, I wasn’t going to lie. Ashley looked the police car over, dropping the gasoline by his side. He made a line from the car to a spot a few yards back. I smiled and looked him over. He looked over his shoulder and looked at me. Ash winked and smiled lightly. I smiled and looked at him. I blushed lightly and looked down. I sat in the sun and smiled lightly. I felt the sun warm my already tan skin. Ashley started the fire and the car burst into a ball of flames. I smiled and the few people who were outside cheered. I smiled and he walked towards me. I giggled and smiled lightly as he sat down next to me. “Like the fire?” He looked at me and smiled lightly. I blushed and smiled as his hand brushed against mine. “I do, but are you sure that no one will find us here?” I looked at Ashley as he watched the fire. He looked at me, smirking lightly. “I don’t know. I don’t really care either. We need a change of place anyhow. Though, I’m not sure where we would go either.” I smiled and looked at him, shaking my head lightly. I knew that he knew that Andy would kill him if the police found us. Andy always said that Ashley would bring the cops to us. I always said that Andy’s dumbass would bring the cops to us. “Great, we don’t have a place to go if your dumbass brings the cops here.” Ashley laughed and looked at me. “I mean, I’ve scoped out a few places. They’re all nuclear fallout shelters. But I’m not sure it would hold us all.” We had like two hundred people in our little set of Wild Ones. Oddly enough, we were the smallest group. All the others had roughly five hundred to a thousand people. “I’m sure a few of them could just hold us for a bit while we find another place.” I looked at Ashley and smiled lightly. “Yeah, but with all of our equipment, I don’t think we could all fit.” Ashley’s hand brushed up against mine again. “We’ll figure it out as soon as we get raided, yeah?” I looked at him and smiled lightly. We laid back and stayed there for a bit. I smiled and looked at him. The sound of police sirens was nothing new. It was rare, but it happened often enough that it didn’t alert anyone. That was until the police sirens got closer. I stood up and looked over at the highway, which wasn’t too far away from where we were stationed. They began pulling off the highway, one by one, and slowed their speed. I knew there were no other complexes around us. All of them were destroyed except for this one. I looked at Ashley and he nodded, running inside. I headed inside as well, shoving past a few people. We all began panicking, freaking out. People ran past each other and were all groveling to get to their rooms to pack. I ran up to my room and began packing. “I heard the sirens, are they coming here?” Vinny asked, stopping in the doorway as people rushed past my room. I nodded hurriedly as I threw my bag over my shoulder. My teddy bear hung at my side as I turned a bit. He nodded and headed to his room. I ran down to the only room that actually looked like an actual apartment. I knocked at the door and sighed. The door swung open and I was face to face with my dad. “The police-“ My dad held up a hand to shush me and just nodded lightly. His eyes were filled with sadness as he walked to an old recliner. He waved me in and I sat down next to him. People were screaming and trying to get out as fast as possible before F.E.A.R began shooting up the place. I knew I didn’t have a lot of time with my own father. We wouldn’t have much time with each other. The police must have already been here by now, knocking the down the door. The receptionist would keep a few of them back for awhile. “I don’t think I can go on anymore. My body is getting too old. I can’t move around anymore. My body just won’t do it, it can’t do it anymore. I don’t think I can make this trip.” I looked down and nodded. Even if Juliet could heal him, I knew what was coming. His eyes were old and losing their color. His skin was sagging and his joints creaked with every movement. He would be too much of a liability if I took him with me. We had this agreement since I was a small child. If he ever got too old to be with the Wild Ones anymore, he would go down one final time. He would use the last of his powers to protect us. “I understand dad, but…I want you to know that I love you. You’ve been the best dad I have ever had. I can not thank you enough for all that you have done for me. You have given me the best childhood I could ever ask for. I know how much you have tried to give me a normal life. I appreciate you and all that you have done for me so much.” It wasn’t easy saying goodbye to him. He was all that I had known in life. The only male figure that wasn’t somehow corrupt. I loved him as much as a son could. “Thank you Maxwell. I love you so much too. I knew this time was coming and I think you knew it was coming too. But, in my final hour, I want to give you something.” I heard the screams of a few people as shots ran out. My heart beat faster as I looked around. My dad looked at me and nodded lightly as he smiled. He pulled all of his rings off of his fingers and put them into a small baggie. I smiled and looked down lightly. His rings were always something I coveted. Each one had the birthstones for each month and another one had my birthstones with the other two being my brothers birthstones. I never knew my brothers and looked at him. I smiled and looked at them as he reached over to give the bag to me. “Find your brothers, I haven’t been able to find them in my whole lifetime. I want you to do what I couldn’t do. Their mothers have a ring just like the one I gave to you. Three birthstones in one ring. They should be giving their sons the ring today. Please, wear the ring as a sign to your siblings that you are someone they can trust. Find them, as my final wish, find them. I want you to find your brothers and get them away from F.E.A.R and their teachings. They’ll be in a city and under F.E.A.R’s brainwashing.” I nodded and heard more shots ring out. I smiled and looked at him. It was a bittersweet feeling, knowing that he was giving these rings to me as a final wish. I looked at him and looked down lightly at the bag of rings. My dad shooed me out and nodded. “They’re under F.E.A.R’s control?” I asked and he held up a hand to shush me up. I looked down and sighed lightly. “We don’t have much time left. F.E.A.R’s agents will be here soon.” I looked down and sighed lightly. “C-can I at least get one final goodnight?” I asked, pulling out my phone to start recording a video of him. He nodded and began singing our favorite lullaby, an old African one that his mother had sung to him. He smiled and looked at me, saying I love you one last time. I stopped recording and smiled lightly. “Now go, I’ll fight them off. Go be safe, my little lovebug.” I nodded and got up, taking one final look at him. I gave him a kiss on the forehead and sighed. This would be the last time I would ever see them. I grabbed my teddy bear and left, running downstairs and into the line of fire. I knew Andy, Jinxx, Jake, CC and Ashley would be out in the desert already. I knew that they needed to be protected even more than what we would like to do. They were the most important. Tens of people were already dead. I looked down and sighed, looking over the bodies. Loads of them were still alive. Their bodies were twitching and moving lightly. I looked down and left a few of them behind. I couldn’t save them all. They were all friends of mine too, so leaving them was super hard. I looked down and sighed lightly. I moved towards the back of the apartment building. Hundreds, and I mean hundreds, of F.E.A.R agents were shooting at the remaining Wild Ones. If someone was wounded, they would arrest them and throw them into the back of the SWAT van they had brought. I looked down and stood behind them. If I got noticed, I would be hurt as well and I was ‘the chosen one’. Andy would kill me if I got caught by F.E.A.R with the rest of them. I sighed and looked down lightly as I watched my friends get slaughtered. I took a look at my father’s window. F.E.A.R agents burst into the room. My father stood with his back to the window. In a single, silent stroke a F.E.A.R agent put a bullet in his head. Blood splattered the window and I held back my screams. Tears threatened to spill but I held back. My dad’s body fell lifeless. An idea hit me like a bag of bricks as soon as I saw Andy from across the way. He was hiding with the others behind some bushes. There was a dead F.E.A.R agent next to me. I picked her up and dragged her back to a wall of bushes by the apartment building. I pulled on her outfit, it was a bit baggy but I didn’t care. I shoved my bag into her backpack. I also took my teddy bear and the rings my dad gave me into the bag as well. I grabbed her gun and walked back towards the SWAT van. I smiled and looked at the wounded people in the van. I didn’t want to the dramatic pull-back-the-mask-to-surprise-the-wounded trick but I was itching to have a hero moment. I turned and looked at them lightly. I shifted lightly. My head spun lightly. I had no idea had gone through me. I had just done gone through with impersonating a F.E.A.R solider, which was highly illegal. If I got caught, I had no idea what was going to happen to me. I heard of one guy getting sentenced to a concentration camp and he almost died. He's still in a coma to this day and I felt so bad for doing something that could possibly kill me. If all went well, I could possibly find my brothers. My stomach churned as I looked at my friends. None of them seemed to notice me. I sat in the back of the van and we rode for a few hours. I had no idea where we were going and it didn't look like any of the others seemed to know where we were going either. I looked at them and tried to make out who was with me. It looked like Vinny, Chris, Josh, Ricky, Ryan and Ghost seemed to make it on all safely. They sat in a long chained row across from me. As long as I knew where they were and that they were safe, I was okay. But there were a few faces I had names to but I wasn’t sure if the names I had actually matched to the faces I was seeing.   There was Jamie, a soft haired girl with bright eyes and a knack for staying out of trouble. She was the one we sent out when we didn’t want to be caught. She was more of a pawn to the Wild Ones than anything else. There was Ryan Ashley, a woman who I knew only through legends. Ryan Ashley was a tall, tattooed woman and she was apart of a long line of witches. Her bloodline drew all the way back to the Salem Witch Trials and beyond. She was decently powerful as well and never seemed to pass up the chance to show us her power. She was always making sure we all had protection charms and sigils all around whatever compound we decided to stay in. I wasn't sure that her magic worked this time. Either that or she thought we were safe enough to not warrant these kinds of protections. I wasn't going to blame the killing and capture of all two hundred Wild Ones all on her. I just wasn't in the mood to actually do anything about it. There was a woman with deep red hair who I only knew as Phoenix and the was more powerful than anyone I had ever seen. She was able to catch herself on fire and not get burned. Of course, Jinxx had that power but it was very subdued. I couldn't imagine him using it on the scale that Phoenix used. I had access to Hellfire but that was only if I worked up enough strength to do it. The whole Hellfire thing just wiped me out. But Phoenix, she was super special. She was just able to catch fire and spontaneously combust only to pull her charred remains back together over a short period of time. Those were the only faces I could actually The ride into the city, or wherever we were going, seemed shorter than what I expected. I didn't like it because that mean that they were close to where our compound was and they were just waiting for the right time to pound. They were watching us the entire time and I knew it. There was no doubt in my mind that they weren't watching us. I was sure that they were just waiting around until one of us showed our faces. Those fucking assholes! I couldn't wait to just..I don't know, start a revolution or something. But I had to restrain myself a bit. I couldn't tell them all just yet. The van stopped and the back doors opened up to a whole new compound. It was underground and not like what I expected. It was just as put together as out place, and that was saying something. It was covered in a layer of filth and dust. The only high tech thing about it was their campaigning. It was all a front. Well, as much of a front as a government funded religion could put up. All of their tech seemed to be at least a generation older than what we were working with and we were already two generations behind. The F.E.A.R soldiers came out and took the prisoners to their cells and I followed their lead, I was going to have to go undercover after all. I turned and looked at one of my friends, deciding that I would lead Josh to his cell. He was the only one I could trust to not blab to. Everyone else, I would have totally set off as soon as I grabbed hold of them. I followed the lead of the other soldiers and followed them down to a catacomb like jail. I turned and looked at Josh. He sneered at me and growled, fangs showing lightly.  I backed up and sighed lightly, still holding onto his arm. I knew how much Josh hated F.E.A.R agents. His whole kind was killed off by F.E.A.R agents. I was just another F.E.A.R agent to him and that kind of hurt. Though, I knew what I looked like to him. He looked at me as I tossed him into a cell with five other people and closed the door behind him.

[physicistdyke]

Voxman Teacher AU Ch 1

Notes: This is an AU where both Lord Boxman and Professor Venomus are teachers at a highschool. It’s meant to be a lot more realistic and slice of life then the show so some things are different. Venomus is not the tall purple snake boy he is, but probably a tall jewish boy now. Boxman has a prosthetic arm and glass eye from a collage accident. And all the other fun sci fy fantasy cool stuff will be translated as such. Hope you all enjoy!

"Jesus, how does a kid think like this?" Boxman mumbled to himself as he sits alone in his room grading quizzes. "I gotta switch to quia or something." He stands up from his desk and stretches, this had been the third lunch this week he's spent in his classroom, doing work. It hasn't been easy, teaching high school physics/technology and trying to go back to night school himself. Most days would be filled with coffee, algebra, and confused teens, like this one. He looks back down to the paper on his desk and gives a sigh. "Have any of these kids even had geometry yet?" The physics papers were the worst, maybe a small break would ease his mind. Besides, he had a freshman class next hour, he needs this. He walked through the science hall and turned into a “secret” (janitorial) passage to enter into the back of the teacher’s lounge without having to interact with anyone. Nice, Boxy. He gave a sigh of relief as he was in the cushy safe haven of soft drinks and occasional pastries. He made himself a coffee, and sat down on the 50 year old couch that had been purchased before even he had started working here. He gave a deep breath over his coffee, sometimes just a change of scenery was nice. "That stuff’s gonna kill you, Boxman." Boxman jumped a bit as he looked up to see the gym teacher, Ms. Carol, winking at him as she grabbed an electrolite-filled beverage. "Ugh, come on Carol, I'm just trying to relax" "And you think you're gonna relax with that? It's caffeine Boxy, that's not gonna do you no good!" She takes the towel from her shoulder and places it on the counter. "You know, I always offer an after school workout program for the faculty and it's quite popular!" Boxman gave a shudder at the thought of having to take PE again, gym clothes, gym locker rooms. Boxman rushed to think of an excuse. "Oh no, I'm sorry Carol, I have the classes I'm taking down at the university. I've been stumped with work." Nice, Boxy. Carol gave a laugh. "Alright Boxy, but one day you're gonna run outta excuses and then-” she went into a power stance, "-Push Up time!" Boxman was terrified and Carol could tell. She laughed and said "I'm just messing with you, you'd only do what you'd want to." "Alright, but social pressures would tell me that I'd have to do it, so..." Carol chuckled. "Touché, Boxman." She put the towel back over her shoulder and started to head out "See you soon!" "See you, Carol." he said as she walked out. He gave a relieved sigh, talking with Carol was, a workout in itself. He snuggled his way back into that perfect groove in the couch and started to enjoy his coffee. The period wouldn't be over for another, 30 minutes? And most teachers didn't have a prep this hour so he could enjoy his alone ti... the door opened again. Boxman gave an internal sigh. He looked up to see who was there and was thrown off when he saw before him new Biology teacher, Dr. Venomous. He had only ever seen him in a few meetings but had never been personally introduced. Venomous was, impressive to say the least. He was younger than himself, and had been able to get a doctorate. Not to mention he was,, aesthetically admirable. Boxman shuffled in his seat and straightened his back a bit. "Hello there, Venomous, was it?" He managed to get out. Venomous turned his head to him "Yes, hello, Mr. Boxman," Damn, he nearly forgot about his voice too. The man could melt Gallium with a voice that warm. Venomous headed for the Mr Coffee and filled his thermos. "Is this seat taken?" He asked as he approached the couch and gestured to the opposing corner. "N-no, not at all!" Boxman said, surprised by the sudden interaction. "Well, you know, I'm still pretty new here and I'd thought I should get to know some other adults in this place." He gave a smirk. "I honestly think I'll pop a blood vessel if I have one more conversation that includes anime, fidget spinners, or sarcasm." Boxman chuckled at the comment, oh had he been there. "I'm so sorry, usually the first few years here you get a lot of freshman classes. I think it's the collective way to see if a teacher can handle the education profession or not" Venomous smiled back. "Or nah, as they would say." They both gave a pained laugh at the bad and obscure meme humor of freshman. High schoolers in general. But particularly freshman who couldn't quite get the jokes right.

“Heh, well I'm glad you've finally found an adult to talk to.” Boxman said. It was strange, he usually didn't warm up to people this quick. “You teach, biology right? That's a fun subject”

Venomous settled into his cushion. “Yeah, but I wish I could could actually teach them the good stuff. Besides just telling them ‘the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell’, I mean come on. At least let me talk about ETP or something more than that.”

Boxman rolled his eyes, “I know right? I mean how do I get it across to them that vectors are going to be important if you want to learn about the really cool stuff. At least I have the AP class that's actually excited about physics and my tech shop classes.”

“You teach tech shop as well? What do you do in there?” Venomous asked, intrigued.

“Well, you know, it's a separate room, we share with the wood shop kids, but I teach more about circuity and metal working then the other mediums. It's only for upperclassman but all the kids who take it really tend to like it.” Boxman looked over from his coffee to see a beaming and curious biology teacher looking back at him.

“That sounds great! It's amazing they can have that at the high school level. I didn't even step into a lab with a good microscope until college.”

Boxman gave a soft laugh. “I'm glad you think that way.” He looked down at his watch. Still 20 minutes left to the hour,

“Would you like to see it?”

Venomous looked enthralled by the offer but returned to his calm demeanor. “That would be, very nice” he said blushing a bit, letting his nerdiness get the best of him.

They walked side by side down the open hall. Not a soul around except for them and the occasional kid going to the bathroom. Each class they walked past gave an insight onto a new subject and a new 30 set of kids bored to death by it. They reached the room at the end of the hall opposing the art room and Boxman took a key from his pocket. He unlocked the door, lead them both in, and then flicked a switch. Lights came on and a large ventilation fan started humming loudly.

“Sorry for the noise, it’s kinda set so that if you want the lights on and to work in here at all, you gotta have the fan on too.” Boxman said.

“It makes sense, safety you know.” Venomous commented as he looked down and smiled at the man.

Boxman gave a blush and looked to the floor “Hah! Yeah well I was actually the one who did the electric work for that and,, man you don’t know how many kids I get complaining.”

“I don’t think they’re old enough to see quality work when they see it.” Venomous gave a wink. Damn that man was smooth.

“Oh, oh yeah! Yesthankyou we can proceed with the tour!” He guided the taller man into the room further as he tried to hide the rouge he gained from that sick compliment he just received. He got more comfortable as he entered into his element. “Yep! We have everything here from mass blank blue prints to an industrial sized soldering iron! As long as the kid can show they can do something safely and have an idea, we let them go nuts!”

“Wow! That’s really cool how they can have an opportunity like that at such a young age!” He said as he admired the equipment around him. His eyes lit up with excitement, “IS THAT A 3D PRINTER?!?” He looked down to Boxman who was beaming at his own excitement. He gave a stifled cough and walked over. “Heh, why does it have the word ‘Jethro’ engraved onto it?”

“Oh, well after we got the printer, my AP design class decided we had to name it. You know how kids are with their creativity.”

Venom gave a snicker. “Hm, yep, it’s our job as the public school system to crush that.” he said jokingly to Boxman.

Boxman laughed “Hah! Yeah well this class found it particularly important and somehow decided on the name Jethro. So I real quick engraved it and he’s been Jethro ever since.”

“Charming.” Venomous said with a smile.

“Thank you!” Boxman said.

Venomous leaned back against a desk and looked at Boxman. Oh shit, is he checking me out? “I gotta ask, and if it’s not too rude,” Venomous made a motion pointing to his left arm and eye.

“OH! Yeah that,,” Boxman trailed off as he realized Mr. Hot Teacher was Not checking him out.

Venomous gave a panicked look “Oh I’m sorry if that was a sensitive topic! I was just cur-”

“No it’s ok! I’m willing to talk about it,” Boxman gave a laugh and leaned against a desk of his own. “You know I don’t even consider it most of the time unless I’m scaring freshman to follow lab safety procedures.” What the two men were referring to was the glass, mildly red tinted eye surrounded by burn scars, and a left hand made of a simple metal rig instead of flesh. “You see, it was my senior year of college, I was up late in the workshop finishing my final. While I was soldering I hadn’t realized some potassium had mixed in with my soder god knows how. And this particular invention was suppose to hold water, so when I filled it in to test and checked inside the cartridge to see what was making a sound… Well, the rest is chemistry.”

Venomous gave a shudder. “Jesus thats a lot, I’m so sorry, Mr. Boxman.”

Boxman looked up and gave a slight smile. “It’s really ok! It didn’t stop me from getting a degree in engineering or my teaching certificate! And please, call me Boxy.”

Venomous reddened a bit at the sweet genuineness of the man. Even though he was probably in his mid 40’s, and not the most conventionally attractive guy, he was still pretty damn cute. Venomous’ gay thoughts were cut off by an abrupt bell.

“Welp, heh, end of this period I guess. It’s been fantastic talking with you!” Boxman said as he started out the other door that lead to the science hall. Venomous followed to get to his own class.

“Yeah, it’s been great talking with, you.” Venomous trailed off as the two headed in separate directions. He had never felt so immediately felt comfortable with someone like that, and neither had Boxman. They both had the feeling though that this would lead to something great.