#like i was surrounded by the same type of people my whole life
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confoundedman · 7 months ago
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tbh i’m very genuinely a burnt out former gifted kid (iq is a bullshit racist measure but trust me i’m up there) and like we never actually bullied special ed kids but only because we never even interacted with them. i’m not saying this as a good thing i mean that gifted programs are so fucked up, our classes were so isolated from the rest of the school, the culture and pressure and superiority complex it created was so fucking toxic. and racist!!! i mean my area wasn’t all white, actually majority east+south asian but u bet there were no latino or black people in my class. idk what most people mean when they say they’re former gifted kids tho bc my hometown is kinda Special (FUCK redmond wa), like i watched one of my friends (who got into a highly selective CS college in 10th grade, along with several other people i knew) have a breakdown over not being as good as another classmate who was doing university level physics research in 9th grade and rejected MIT for stanford (although i had three other friends go to MIT). my entire friend group was three grades ahead in math (minimum). tbh i still have no idea how “impressive” any of that is (if it’s impressive at all) bc my understanding of standards are so fucked. like for me “burnt out gifted kid” doesn’t even mean “boohoo i used to be good at things and now i’m not” but it’s more about the culture and ridiculously high expectations and academic pressure and now i’m basically failing out of college thanks to truly debilitating depression and adhd that i never learned how to deal with because i was smart enough to make up for it in grade school, and i don’t think college is for me but i never considered anything other than a high ranking university as an option thanks to the incredibly toxic environment that constantly shit on art majors, gap years, community college, etc., where everyone only did shit to build up their college resume and we all forgot how to have fun.
idk i wish arrogant white ppl hadn’t co-opted the term because it genuinely is a fucked up phenomenon, i recognize the sheer privilege in being labeled a gifted kid in the first place and having access to all those resources and shit, being able to worry about academics instead of money or whatever, but while it works for some people it can also really fuck you up, i am in such a worse place mentally than i would’ve been if i had just been in general ed somewhere else, and i have friends going through the same shit. also fucks you up socially because you live in such a bubble, i firmly believe in having a diverse group of friends and gifted programs create the exact opposite. idk i try not to publicly identify as a burnt out former gifted kid bc for the most part i agree with you and i don’t wanna come across as that kind of person lol, and i will say it really isn’t the biggest deal tbh, there’s so much worse shit to be dealing with. i hope this rant doesn’t come off as whiny or whatever it’s just something i think about a lot.
“Burnt out former gifted kid” auto translates to “former bully of special ed students” in my head automatically like autocorrect
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hello-sweetheart · 13 days ago
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You know that trope where Person A thinks Person B is just being nice but they’re actually flirting. What about the opposite? Person A misreading their behavior and being the only one falling impossibly in love.
Clumsy in Love Part 2
It’s hard to listen to Eddie talk about this guy the same way Steve wished he did about him. Eddie, already so full of life and words, doesn’t seem to need to take a breather between his praises.
“Can’t believe this guy is actually into me, did you see him? Oh my god!” He groans and smacks his palms against the steering wheel, literally bouncing in his seat.
The van swerves a bit to the left.
“He’s just my type, too. Those eyes, prettiest eyes that have ever graced human existence, and they were looking at me. Me! Wow! The darkest green— I don’t think there’s any precious stone that can compare actually.”
He beams at him and Steve’s traitorous heart still flutters like a wounded bird helplessly flapping its broken wing. Eddie is smiling so hard his cheeks must hurt, eyes crinkled at the corners and teeth on full display.
Steve will close his eyes at night and replay these words, pretending that this excitement and instant adoration is about him. That Eddie’s love-struck smile is for him.
“And, to top it off, he’s a geek. A fucking nerd. He actually knows DnD! What are the chances, Stevie? I’m no religious man, but an angel must have heard mine desperate pleas.”
His name is Adiel, Eddie’s perfect guy.
Steve spends that night feeling the need to cry, the hurt is right there at the base of his throat refusing to spill.
Steve kind of wishes he did, maybe letting everything out would leave him feeling empty instead impossibly full of heartache.
Adiel is blond, a dirty blonde that means he must’ve had light locks as a kid. Face slim and cheek bones prominent, but his features are soften by button nose. Maybe Eddie is right, he looks like the angels depicted in stained church windows, but whereas angels are depicted in white, Adiel wore exclusively black.
He wasn’t decorated in rings and chains like Ed, only a few silver piercings in his ears and a couple on his lips. But it was evident they had much in common, even just by looks. More than Steve could ever say about him and Eddie.
Over the next couple of weeks they share their music, intrinsically understanding what it means to one another.
Getting it.
Getting it the way that Steve never could, even with hours of Eddie breaking it down for him. Maybe Steve never understood, but he loved those moments shared between them. Wonders if Adiel cherishes those moments too. If he takes it for granted.
They share everything with each other and Steve hears every little detail gushed between sickly sweet sighs. He’s trying to be a good friend, to listen and share Eddie’s happiness, but something inside him grows bitter. Angry. He hates feeling this way.
“I met his friends already, they’re a really cool bunch. I really think you guys would get along. They know all the best spots for people like us. There’s a whole world out there, Stevie—“
Stevie. His breath stutters.
“Of people like us with places for us. We could take Robin and Vicky and be surrounded by people that won’t, that won’t think we’re… wrong. And who knows,” he nudges Steve’s side with a suggestive smile, “maybe you’ll meet the one there, huh Stevie?”
“Stop. Just, just stop!”
Steve doesn’t mean to yell. He just can’t take it anymore. Everything that has been building up inside him has reached a point where he just can’t. He pushes Eddie away from him who looks startled. Offended and bothered and confused.
“I don’t want to meet his friends, or least of all him. I don’t get it, okay! I thought—“
What did he think? That one day he would confess to Eddie or vice versa? That they’d kiss and go on double dates with Robin and Vicky? That he would fall asleep each night in love and loved? It seemed plausible at some point. That’s what hurts the most.
“Hey, Stevie—“
“Don’t call me that! You don’t get to call me that anymore.”
“What? Your name? You don’t want me to call you by your name?”
A bitter laugh, “yeah. My name from your mouth.”
“I, You’re not making any sense!”
Steve knows. He knows. But Stevie, Big boy, Ozzy… even his own name, can’t bear to hear them. Not from him. Can’t bare the way his heart squeezes.
Eddie’s looking at Steve with furrowed brows and down turned lips, standing still. Has Eddie ever been still before in his life?
Once. When he was still and pale and red. His chest gone quiet for the most terrifying seconds of Steve’s life.
Steve looks at him, his eyes burn. Steve’s breath from his own chest brought Eddie back to them. Eddie’s lungs still carry his desperation. His ribs healed but the cracks must still be there from the palm of his hands. He’s tasted Eddie’s blood before from his mouth—
He’s kissing him. Steve, dumb stupid in-love Steve, has his lips on Eddie’s once more, but this time they’re warm and full of life and his ringed hands are on him and,
They’re pushing him. Away.
“Eddie,” his sight is blurry, eyes hot, and breath stuttered. “I, it hurts. You with him. I can’t—I just can’t.
And Eddie looks, terrified, dark eyes searching Steve’s face. For what, he does not know. Sincerity, maybe. Truth. Maybe looking to see if he’s really shattered inside.
“I’m sorry, I… I didn’t…I don’t…”
And Steve?
Steve smiles. It’s watery and his lips quiver.
“I know.” And that’s the problem, isn’t it. It’s always the problem. “I know, Eddie. I’m sorry. It’s, it’s okay.”
Eddie leaves Steve there in the living room.
There’s still two cans of Coke half full on the coffee table but only one person left in the room.
Part one < 💛 > Part 3
Tagged: @bananahoneycomb @margaglitterdeath
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ncttytrack · 10 months ago
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"Not your type?" - l.hs (m)
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“Oh, Sweetheart.” He says and looks at you with a massive smirk, his hand never leaving your soft cheek. “I heard everything"
Summary: Your new summer job was great. The salary was great and the scenery was beautiful. But what made the job perfect, was your hot older co-worker Lee Heeseung, who you swear is not your type.
Genre: SMUT, Co-worker!Heeseung x reader.
Words: 3,7k+
Warnings: HardDomHeeseung, Heeseung is lowkey mean, chocking, creampie, lowkey size kink, degradation kink!!!, reader is lowkey a masochist...
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ☠︎︎♡︎☠︎ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙︎ ☠︎︎♡︎☠︎ ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ☠︎︎♡︎☠︎ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
You load dirty spoons and plates Into the dishwasher, sweat running down your neck. It was a hot summer day, and while the average person your age is down by the beach sunbathing, you are working at your new restaurant job. When you applied, you didn’t actually think you would get it, but here you are during your vacation from college. Not that you could really complain, it is a nice restaurant you are working at by the coast. It’s always sunny, you are surrounded by people wearing little to no clothing because of the hot weather, and the nearest sea is just about ten meters away from you. The perfect summer job for someone who is in a desperate need for money. 
But there is one thing that makes working there difficult. 
The first day on your job, your boss wanted an experienced college to help you out. For example, showing you how to load the dishwasher, the different courses on the menu, what you should do after the restaurant closes - and so on and so forth. What you didn’t know however, is that the man getting the “help the new coworker” mission, would be the hottest man you have ever seen in your life. 
Lee Heeseung.
When Heeseung showed you around on your first day, it felt like you became 16 again. Every time his eyes met yours your whole body would tingle, only being able to look into his eyes for 3 seconds before looking away. Every time he asked you a question, you became a stuttering mess trying to compose yourself. It was really difficult, and because you two always seemed to get the same shifts, you couldn’t avoid him either. Not that he seemed to complain, he probably loved the attention he got from you. That is what you at least internally tell yourself. 
You did however get close to some of the people working at the restaurant over the last two months, one of them being your now close friend Sunoo who was your age. That is what is peculiar about this working place, everyone is about the same age. Over the age of 17, but younger than 24. And because of the young staff, it wasn’t an unusual thing that people hooked up with each other. And the first time you heard about it from Sunoo, you couldn’t help it but get almost too excited.
“Are you serious!?'' You shout with a shocked expression, the food you chew almost flying out of your mouth. Sunoo laughs, putting a hand right in front of his mouth. “Yeah, it's true! And can you please whisper, we don’t want the others knowing what we are talking about”. You look at him with big eyes, before looking around making sure that people aren’t listening to your conversation. 
You lean in and begin to whisper. “Like who?” Sunoo leans in as well, right by your ear. “Which ones have hooked up with each other? Well where should I even start. Um, well there was this one time with Yujin and Jay, and oh! Yunjin and Hee-“ you cut him off abruptly, not wanting him to mention Heeseung. 
You lean back beside him, trying to act casual. “Yeah I get it, I get it, you don’t need to continue!” You look away from him, but Sunoo looks at you. “What, do you like Heeseung? Y/n…” He says and punches your shoulder playfully. Your face turns beet red, trying not to unveil the secret you so desperately have been hiding for the two months working here. 
“What do you mean? Heeseung? Nooo he is like, sooo not my type” You say trying to sound convincing. “Not your type?” Sunoo says, not convinced by your false statement. Instead of answering him, you look away and shake your head confidently. 
Sunoo suddenly smiles teasingly, grabbing your arm and leans in. Because of his sudden touch, you look at him surprised. He maybe leaned in a little too much, though he is so close that you can feel his breath tingling your neck.
“You know what I think?” He says slowly, making sure to pronounce every syllable, and looks at you with innocent eyes. You get nervous, not knowing what he is about to say and try to look away. “What?”
His smile gets bigger, and he continues while having a teasing pout on his lips. 
“I think that you want big, sexy, Heeseung to grab your tiny, little, fragile body, push it against the hard wall of the storage room and manhandle you with,“ he makes his voice lighter, trying to mimic yours “his, big, manly hands, and strong arms”
Your mouth gapes open and you begin to laugh nervously, hitting Sunoo playfully several times until he backs away from you. You shake your head. “No! No! It’s not true!”
He looks at you and laughs while hitting the table in front of you. “Are you serious? You are lyiiiing! That is totally what you want!” You shake your head “No! I promise I-“. 
Before you can continue defending yourself, you get interrupted by Sunoo rolling back his eyes. “OhmaGAWD, You are so BIG! Don’t stawp Heeseungie-“ 
Sunoo suddenly stops, and look away at someone standing in front of your table. You slowly look towards the same direction Sunoo is looking. You begin to internally panic. 
“Um I think your 30 minute lunch break is over”. 
It’s Heeseung. 
You and Sunoo look at each other. 
Omg, did he hear all that? 
Heeseung is looking at you two confused, did he interrupt something? 
“I mean, I need to get my lunch break too” Hee continues, looking down on the salad he picked out. He seemed…nervous? Before you could make this situation even more awkward, you and Sunoo quickly grab your dirty dishes and walk away trying to ignore Heeseung's intense gaze. 
You could hear Sunoos' quiet laughter beside you while walking away from Heeseung. You look at him.“Promise me to never do that again Sunoo! And why are you laughing!” You whisper-scream trying to sound intimidating. “What?” He laughes, “It was sooo funny!” 
You look at him with a worried expression. “But what if he heard everything?” 
“So what! Just wait until the next Friday-night shift you have with him, drink the last 30 minutes at closing, and see what happens!” 
You look at him, smiling. “Are you allowed to drink on the job?” Sunoo looks at you and grabs your shoulder. “I don’t know? But what I do know, is that amongst the older coworkers-“ he points his finger towards Heeseung and the others, “it’s a Friday-tradition, and if you want what I think you want…then you know what to do” He says and winks, walking away to help a customer. 
And here we are, the Friday night shift. It would be embarrassing to admit, but the night before you did a 3 hour long everything-shower. Every inch of your body was shaved, scrubbed and cleaned. You were partially oozing vanilla. You hope that if something happens he doesn’t acknowledge the small wound you got from shaving too enthusiastically. Even though you put on matching underwear, an inch of you silently hopes that nothing happens. What if something goes wrong? What if you do something wrong? You try not to get too anxious, afraid that the nervous sweating will smell more than the perfume you put on this morning.
The final customer walks out of the restaurant, and you look at the clock. It’s exactly 30 minutes before the shift ends, which means it’s cleaning and drinking time. 
“Is it your first time on a Friday-shift?” The voice behind you, surprises you, making you do a small jump out of fear while looking over your shoulder. Heeseung looked down on you with an amused expression. “Did I scare you? Sorry I didn’t mean it” You try to say anything, but the scary thought of you stuttering is enough for you to stay quiet. You tap your foot on the ground trying to fill out  the quiet atmosphere while looking away. 
Heeseung tilts his head, while biting his lips, trying to hold in his laughter. Why is she so cute? “Um… So..If you don’t know already, we have a tradition where we drink during cleaning so it makes it more fun. I mean, it is Friday soo” You look up at him again trying to act as if you don’t know about the “tradition” - as if Sunoo didn’t tell you a week before. “Oh, well, that sounds fun?” You answer. 
Heeseung looks at you with bright eyes, turns around and grabs two glasses of beer, probably around 50ml, and hands it to you. "Perfect! You drink beer, right?” He says and looks at you. To be honest beer is the least you want to drink right now, but not wanting to be a burden, you take the big glass. You press it against your mouth, looking up into his eyes, while swallowing a big gulp of beer. You feel the bitter drink hit your tastebuds. Heeseung takes a deep breath, looking at your lips while you swallow the beer. Does she know what she is doing? 
You put down the glass, it is already half empty. “It tastes better than what I imagined!” You say, feeling the courage entering your body with every second because of the alcohol. Before Heeseung can answer, you pick up the glass again, only for him to take it from you. You look up at him irritated “I think you might slow down on that, the beer is extra strong and we don’t want any…accidents”. Heeseung says, bringing his hand up, laying it on your cheek. His thumb strokes your top lip, swiping away foam left from the beer. Your breath hitches, and you stop moving. Heeseung's hand leaves your cheek, before walking away, leaving you with a beating heart. 
Your body is swaying to the music coming from the speaker Sunghoon brought from home. The Broom you are holding gets heavier, the alcohol making your body weaker every minute. You don’t really remember how much you drank. Was it two glasses? Maybe Three? You don’t really care. All the staff members working this shift seem to be having a great time. Jay and Sunghoon were singing their brains out while putting up chairs on the tables, and Jake leaned towards the wall, holding his drink while laughing at his friends. You try to look around for Heeseung, but you can’t see him anywhere. 
Suddenly you feel a hand on your shoulder, and you look back to see Heeseung looming over you. Why does he always sneak up on me like this? 
He looks at you with an innocent smile, pointing back at delivery boxes filled with vegetables and meat. “It seems like the food supplies are here, do you mind helping me load the boxes into the storage room?”  He says. The storage room? Omg the storage room! That’s where the hook-ups that Sunoo talked about happen! You look at him trying to calm yourself, hoping he didn’t notice your body reaction to the word ‘storage room’. You look at him, confident enough to talk back without stuttering. “It seems like I am done cleaning the floor, so I can help you” 
He looks down on you, grabs the broom from your hand and leans it against the nearest wall. “Well come on then”. He says, picking up two boxes, and walks away, signaling you to follow him. You do so, lifting a heavy box with vegetables in the process. 
The storage room is in the far back of the restaurant, and it’s now when it finally hits you that you two are completely alone. Even the others were too far away for you to hear, and only the music from the speaker was the sound reaching your eardrums. Trying to do your best, you turn around towards the shelves, stacking up cucumbers and carrots. 
While opening up the second bag a hand suddenly leans on the shelf in front of you. You already know who it was, but decide to look back anyway, thinking he needs to stack up this shelf as well. Heeseung is looking down on you, his other hand resting in his pocket before bringing it up and grabbing your chin - making you look up at him. You could smell the alcohol from his lips, and you were super close, only a few inches keeping you apart. “W-what are you doing?” You say almost pathetic, as if you already don’t know the answer. 
Heeseung lets out a small laugh and bites his lips. “I think you know, not that you should be complaining” You look at him confused, before realizing what he might mean. He looks at you and sighs, leaning down right beside your ear and whisper sensually. “I think you want big, sexy, Heeseung to grab your tiny, little, fragile body and push it against the hard wall of the storage room and manhandle you with his big, manly, hands and stroooong arms. Or isn’t that what Sunoo said?” You look back at him trying to object before feeling his hand leave your chin and meet your lower back, pushing you towards the shelves, making you drop the bag of cucumbers on the floor. He pushes his leg between yours, rubbing it against your core to tease you. 
You try not to let out a moan, bringing up your hand in front of your mouth to muffle the sound. “Don’t think you can hide those sweet sounds from me princess” Heeseung says and grabs both of your wrists and puts them above your head. His other hand is now playing with the hem of your shirt, slightly brushing against the side of your stomach. Too drunk by his touch, the only thing leaving your lips are your heavy breaths. Heeseung grabs your waist and pushes you harder down against his leg, making you grind on him. The sudden friction is making you moan, and you tilt your head back to lean on his shoulder. His hand now leaves your waist and unbutton your shorts, sliding his hand over your panties. 
A smirk forms on his lips when he can feel how soaked you are, and only from using his leg. He lightly touches your core with the tip of his fingers, making you let out a small hiss. Getting inpatient, he turns your body around making you face him and he let goes of your wrists. He grabs your shorts harshly, pulling them down with your panties in one go. You gasp by the sudden movement while Heeseung crouches down so he is eye-level with your core.
While licking his lips, he puts his finger between your folds. “Aww, baby, you are completely soaked already!” He says amused, trying to hold himself back so he doesn’t tear you apart then and there. Not wanting to wait anymore, you let out a small groan. “I know, I know, baby. Heeseungie is going to take care of you ok? Do you want that?” He says and looks up at you while rolling his head to the side, his fingers still lightly touching your folds. You desperately shake your head and down. To your surprise, he stands up and grabs your chin. “Use your words baby, only good girls get what they want.” You look at him with pleading eyes, hoping that he would spare you from the embarrassment. 
He suddenly slaps you hard against your check, making your gasp. “I said use your words y/n” he says, his soft voice not matching his hard demeanor. He grabs your chin harshly. “Hee, please, I really want you” He looks at you and shakes his head. “I’m not sure I understand, what do you want me to do baby?” 
You can’t take it anymore. Your whole body is aching for his touch, and the only thing you want right now is Heeseungs cock buried deep inside of you. You look up at him with tears in your eyes. “I want you to fuck me”
Heeseung wraps his hand harshly around the back of your neck, and pushes your head towards his, passionately kissing you. His tongue slides in your mouth while you feel his hand massaging your clit. You leave his lips, letting out a moan by the feeling of his rough hand pleasuring you. He takes off your shirt, not sparing a single second before unclipping your bra. He starts licking your nipple while his hand starts massaging the other. Cum is dripping down your leg and he kisses you down your stomach down your thigh. He drags his tongue against your leg to taste your cum, from your inner thigh up to your core, pushing his nose up to smell you. “Mm, baby, you smell so sweet”. 
You feel his tongue circling your clit, making your head fall back towards the hard shelf behind you. Your hands grab his soft hair, a feeling Heeseung can’t get enough of, he loves how good he makes you feel, and how weak you are for his touch. Wanting to bring it one step further, Heeseung pushes his tongue inside your soaked pussy, making sure to push it as far in as possible. His hands grab your thighs harshly for support, and you roll your eyes back at the feeling. You know his harsh touch is going to leave bruises tomorrow. Heeseung speeds up his pace, using his nose to touch your clit while his tongue is deep inside of you. You begin to feel a clump in your stomach, and by the way you are pulling Heeseungs hair he knows you are close.
But then, he stops. You look down on him, disappointed and confused. “Why did you stop? I was so clo-“, before you can finish your sentence, Heeseung stands up and turns your body around. He leans down towards your ear “Don’t think we are stopping yet”. His nose brushes against your neck. He takes a deep breath to take in your sweet vanilla scent, before sucking your neck - making sure to leave a bruise. You tilt your head back, feeling both pain and pleasure from his actions. 
He then stops, unbuckles his belt, and pulls down his pants, and that’s when you feel it.
You feel how his cock teases your wet fold and he is big, really big. At least 9 inches, if not more. Not wanting to wait anymore, You need to feel him inside of you,  you whine “Just fuck me already!”. He slaps your ass, leaving a red mark and making you shut up. “Eager now are we? Don’t forget who is in charge here”
Before you can talk back you feel his cook slowly entering your hole, making you let out a moan. His hands meet your waist, pulling you in on his cook deeper. He is so big that it is actually difficult to take all of him, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you begin to bleed because of his size. He is stretching you out completely. “Common princess you can do it”. He says between heavy breaths, encouraging you to take his length completely. “Oh god, you are so tight” He says, pushing the last part of his cock into your pussy. 
He waits a few seconds, so you can adjust his big size, before beginning to slowly slide his entire cock out of you. You look back at him, “Why did you take it ou-“ you say, before he harshly slams it back fast and deep into you. Your body slams on the shelves and you moan from the pain. You are not sure anymore if it is blood or cum sliding down your leg, but you don't care. The only thing you care about is the man behind you, pushing his deep length inside of you. Using you, for his pleasure, like his personal fuck toy. 
Heeseung grabs the front of your neck while he fucks Into your tight little pussy, tilting your head back so he can take over your mouth, and your tits are bouncing with his thrusts. He then stops kissing you, still holding your neck almost shocking you till your light headed. You From the feeling of his large cock ramming into you to his hand on your neck is almost too much for you to handle, and you begin to see black spots forming in front of your eyes as if you are going to pass out from pleasure. “Aww are you about to cum? Do you think Heeseungie should let you cum?” He teases you, not slowing down one bit. 
“Please Hee, please let me cum” You say desperately, trying to hold in your orgasm before Heeseung lets you cum. He fastens his pace and the before steady thrusts turns into sloppy, and you know he is about to cum soon as well. “You want me to fill you up with my cum baby, be my little cum slut?” Sweat is running down his back, and his hand leaves your neck and he instead grabs your waist to deepen his thrusts. 
It’s not long before you both cum, his filling you up and leaking out of you when he pulls out his length. You are breathing heavily, and you feel too weak to stand on your feet. You lean back on Heeseung, your whole body aching because of him, and he hugs you from behind, kissing your neck. You feel his naked sweaty chest on your back, you can’t believe how tal he is compared to you. 
“How much did you actually hear from mine and Sunoos' conversation?” You ask, breaking the silence, while turning around still leaning on his chest. He lets out a slight chuckle, one of his hands holding your waist, helping you stand, and the other grabs your shin. His thumb sliding across your bottom lip, playing with it, wanting to slide it into your mouth. 
“Oh, Sweetheart.” He says and looks at you with a massive smirk, his hand never leaving your soft cheek.
“I heard everything” 
The moment you slam your front door you pick up your phone from your pocket to call Sunoo. “Sunoo, you have NO idea what happened at the shift today”
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nolovelingers · 1 year ago
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hi omg i loved ur hcs for ethan landry as ur bf <333 do you think you could write something like that, but for tate langdon, please?
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TATE LANGDON AS YOUR BOYFRIEND ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧
ೄྀ࿐ requested ! ˊˎ-
headcanons — // cw ! : dark themes ,, obsessive tendencies,, nsfw !! similar to ethans i try to keep these as realistic as my silly little mind is able to think !! very toxic relationship 🌀 talk of self harm & smoking
——————————————————————————
 SFW !!
TATE LANGDON AS YOUR BOYFRIEND . . . is like meeting someone who’s not like anyone you’ve ever met. there are no duplicates, copies or a person even remotely similar to the dark eyed boy.
there’s always been something about his odd personality that has a strange charm to it. he’s always held himself up to his own standards and even back before the entire westfield high situation he’s been very picky about his living style and the people he surrounds himself with.
so therefore when he met you, the stilled silence to his violent tornado, it was as if everything else in the world dimmed and the spotlight shone to you.
he would never leave you alone. not when you move rooms, not if you try to have people over, not when you stormed into the backyard and sat under the flickering moon as you desperately grasped for alone time. not even when you go to the bathroom.
the second he came into your life and you allowed him to, privacy no longer existed. the only time he would ever leave was if he had his own emergency to partake to or if your guardian(s) were around.
at first it was cute, you couldn’t really deny the fact that having a boyfriend so attached to the hip and dependent made your heart flutter in some sort of way. but you quickly learned that even as dreamy as it sounds it’s not all that great.
if you run to the bathroom and lock yourself inside the langdon boy is fast to follow suite, confused on where or what you were running from until he watched you shut the restroom door and he slid his back against it; knees brought up to his chest as he patiently waited for you to come back out. and trust me, he will wait. doesn’t matter if it’s hours or even half of the day. he won’t move an inch.
you hardly invite friends over but the few times you do you’re fast to regret it. you tell him your friends coming over, hoping he’ll take the hint to leave, and he’ll only blankly stare at you; face devoid of any emotion as he mutters a gentle ‘oh’ before returning to looking through your collections of whatever it is you have an abundance of. maybe books, cd’s, vinyls, comics, posters, crystals/rocks, stuffed animals, funky socks or a hoard of animal bones; there’s nothing in your room tate hasnt gotten his hands on.
even after you alert him of the approaching company unless you plan on shoving him out or repeatedly asking him to leave he doesn’t plan on going anywhere. he’s terrible at reading social cues and you have to spell out the simplest things for him.
he’s quick to judge your friends, not one of them is good enough for you in his mind and he’ll be sure to voice that. sometimes even straight to their face; with a blank expression and no emotion behind his eyes. it doesn’t matter how close or how long you’ve known someone, could even be your whole life, they’re not good for you like he is.
he often says the most terrible and disgusting things about them to your face, judging you heavily for the people you hang around and making you feel insecure.
he is definitely the type to drive wedges in between all of your relationships. just with your friends at first but as the relationship furthers he begins to do the same to your family too.
obviously he can’t leave the house but if there was ever a time you ranted about someone you dislike, hurt your feelings or overall anything spoken poorly about them he would remember it till halloween and carefully map out their murder. i mean, you wanted them to die right? why else would you tell him about it?
tate is extremely oblivious to your emotions. he loves you so much and it’s clear to him you must be meant for each other. so no matter how you feel back, reciprocated or not tate would assume you liked him too. he refuses to be in the friend zone and throws a hissy fit if you ever even try.
as we all known he’s one of the prettiest criers out there and this is very useful when it comes to manipulating. he knows you have a weak spot for seeing his tears and now anytime you try to lecture him, kick him out or he feels as though you’re not understanding his (rather malicious) side of the story the tears are quick to fall. but the tricky thing here is that they are always real tears of sadness and regret; it’s just as though he’s reprogrammed himself to cry at any minor inconvenience.
his favorite cuddle position is spooning and he often likes to be the little spoon. no one in his life has ever cared for him enough (or at least in his eyes they haven’t), and when you have your arms securely around him, pulling him into you; it’s like heaven on earth. he feels so safe, warm and comforted. there are of course days where the rolls switch but there’s really no denying he prefers to be the one being spooned.
id definitely say he’s a sort of pathological liar and even when he doesn’t mean for it to happen lies fall from his mouth as easy as tears stream from his eyes. it could be about the stupidest shit or it could be actually serious as he tries to work his way out of a situation he’s actually at fault for.
this makes it really hard to trust him, because it’s eerily scary how easy it is for him to lie straight to your face with even blinking, or come up with excuses on the spot. i know people like to claim they’re usually good at picking up when people are lying to them but with tate it’s a huge challenge. he’s unnaturally good at it and doesn’t hesitate.
it’s not easy to pick up on his fibs in the moment but there are a few times you’re able to realize later on; as his stories don’t add up or he forgot his lie in the first place and comes up with a completely different one when asked the same question from before.
and even then once he gets caught; deny deny deny. you’re the one in the wrong for accusing him of something like that when he just has a poor memory and suddenly you’re the bad guy for pointing fingers even though you’re the one with evidence and he just throws out empty accusations.
if you smoke i think he’d love to break into your stash a lot, he didn’t use weed before his death but once you introduce him i see him as a sort of mini-stoner. he’ll use your stuff without even asking. he kind of contradicts himself in that way because for the most part when he was still living he thought people who smoked or drank were stupid, ruining their body. he looked down on them. when you’re dead though you cant really destroy your body and though he still doesn’t like drinking he’ll indulge in smoking.
if you do any sort of after school activity or club he’ll encourage you to quit, telling you how it’s all stupid and a waste of time that you could be spending together. if you refuse he’ll try to sabotage it for you the best he can while being confined to the house. maybe sending a nasty email to your teacher/coach or by ruining a uniform or equipment you use.
there’s definitely times when he’s asked you to drop out of highschool to which you immediately declined and there’s not really much else he could do about this nuisance.
langdon will put you onto his likes and interests, music or movies he has a taste for. he’ll try the stuff you like as well but he’s quick to judge and doesn’t do second thoughts or tries. if he doesn’t like it he won’t even pretend to and will harsh out negative reviews before you turn it off. and then he’ll act confused on why you suddenly stopped it but he’s very glad you did. he couldn’t stand it.
and because of this when you’re hanging out it’s all about what tate wants to do. the music he wants to play. the things he wants to talk about and the films he wants to watch.
jealousy is a major problem for him and the mention of really anyone, but especially if it’s a guy, will have his blood pumping and his head spinning.
to him, he only has you. it should be the same way around, he absolutely hates that you have and know other people that aren’t just him.
tw? — if you ever try to leave him he goes all out and puts on the most dramatic show you’ve literally ever seen. throwing himself against walls, screaming and crying his eyes out, burying his head in his knees and clutching at his hair while begging and pleading for you to stay. he doesn’t get angry at all but turns more pathetic and desperate as he clings onto you. lots of “ill do better”, “you can’t leave me”, “tell me what I did wrong” and “you’re all I have”’s leaving his lips. if this doesn’t work he’ll harm himself in front of you, smashing his head against the wall or even using a sharp tool to cut into his arm while only asking one thing. “is this what you want?”
tw? — it’s a very draining relationship and can impact your mental space a lot. if you self harm he will catch you eventually, whether it’s while in the act or the scars/scabs from after. he’ll grab your arm (not assuming that’s where you sh, just so he has a grip on you), asking you how you could be so selfish (which is his way of caring) and then asking you to cut him instead anytime you wanted to hurt yourself. this is obviously off putting and drives a wedge between you for a while, which he will trap you back by guilting you and apologizing. (even though he was completely serious when asking and still is.)
the blonde haired boy lives for your validation. he’s constantly asking for reassurance and pestering you with loads of questions. whether if it’s if you like his outfit to if you still had feelings for him or not.
he’s a huge listener than he is a talker and could sit for hours, happily criss crossed and a toothless and content smile on his face while you go on about every little detail of your day.
he’s definitely asked you to do his eyeliner before but would rather die (again) than have anything else applied to his skin. it would cripple his masculinity.
overall he’s very touchy, craving for any contact he can get with you. resting his head on your shoulder, holding hands, his hand on your thigh or pinkies intwined. he always has to be touching you in some way.
recommending books and songs are one of his all time favorite things to do and he does expect you to read or listen to all of his suggestions. he’ll ask you about it a few days later after initially suggesting it and will get upset if you still haven’t looked into it.
tate hardly gets angry, he’s very sensitive as we all know and most of the time it ends in his hysterical sobs; but when the fire inside him lights it’s terrifying.
if you weren’t the one to make him angry you’d usually be okay, he’d rant about it to you while you played with his hair; describing all of the horrendous ways he wanted to see the person or thing he’s mad at crash and burn. if he’s angry at you it’s like he moves on his own, putting you in a chokehold and slamming you against the wall, yelling and pointing fingers at you. pushing items off your desks/dressers/shelf’s and you make him go away; scared of him hurting you. he wouldn’t, not intentionally, but it was a very scary sight to see.
of course within hours he’d return, tears streaming down his face and begging on his knees for your forgiveness, arms latched around your legs as he sobbed into them and refused to let go until you forgave him.
as much as he loves you and wants you to be together forever, he would never purposefully go to the extent of killing you in the house so you could stay with him forever at the age you are. it sucks, he knows it sucks, but he does have a boundary set for that. he doesn’t want you stuck there for the rest of your life. he’s just hoping you’ll stay in that house with him willingly anyway. he’d let you go after crying his heart out for days, but he’d never let you forget him or move on. and being honest; he would probably start to regret the decision.
his love for you goes beyond words, it consumes him completely. he knows now his purpose. the day he died in that house and the years that passed waiting up to the day he met you.
he was made for loving you, in his own sick way. you are his entire heart.
NSFW !!
tate is a switch in the bedroom, but he’s so easy to dominate which makes him lead towards being more submissive. of course he’ll be in his dominant moods, there’s no doubt, but it’s laughable how easy it is to take control back over him.
he loves to overstimulate you, fucking you or relentlessly giving you head for hours, not giving you rest inbetween as you beg for him to stop through shattered moans.
(if you’re a female) — we all know about his mommy issues and he definitely incorporates that into the bedroom in some ways.
(if you’re a female) — he’s a tits man rather than ass and anytime you’re going at it your shirt has to be off, he doesn’t care what size breasts you have all he wants is to attach his mouth around your nipples and tease them with his tongue, sucking lightly before leaving hickeys all over them.
(if you’re a female) — he has the best fuck me eyes the worlds ever seen and when he’s bottoming he can’t stop himself from calling you ‘mama’.
he’s very kinky, and he has put on the infamous leather suit before to fuck you. it makes him feel more powerful, like he’s in control.
when he’s topping he’ll have one hand pinning one of your arms above your hand while using his other to interlace your fingers, crying into your neck with all the pleasure he’s feeling.
he’s not the greatest on cleaning up afterwords but he always snuggles you, cuddling up to you in a ball and resting his head soundly on your chest as his breathing slows and he drifts off.
but the most important thing to know — tate is godly at sex. he doesn’t have the most experience in the world but he definitely wasn’t a virgin by the time you met and he knows what he’s doing.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ a/n : thank you sm for requesting , made my day !! i hope that this is to your liking, i appreciate the compliment ab my ethan headcanon i tried my best <33. my inbox is open to all !!
started 08.06.23. finished 08.07.23.
©️nolovelingers 2023
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unholyhelbig · 1 year ago
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Natasha Romanoff x Reader with "Who did this to you?"
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Title: Hallway Meetings
Ship: Female!Reader x Natasha Romanoff
Wordcount: 2077
Warnings: Injuries, blood, bruising, mugging, Bad Grammar
[A/n: I haven't written Nat in awhile, so here is some hurt comfort!]
Main Masterlist | Read my stuff on AO3 | Leave Requests
By the time you made it back to your apartment, the adrenaline had sufficiently worn off. The rush of energy that kept the pain at bay was the only thing that made it possible for you to sit through the bus ride across the city, the lights were much too bright and blue, your head pounding. You pressed your fingers against your ribs on the ride home, each exhalation trembling.
Somewhere along the way, the bus came rolling to a stop and the man behind the wheel huffed out at you. “End of the line.”
You were the only one on the bus, and by that time, you were fighting sleep entirely. There was no one else on the bus, and you didn’t see the point in arguing with him. His eyes were tired and dark. Something told you he was having a worse day than you were.
With begrudging compliance, you walked the three blocks to your building. You had forgotten your coat, and by the time you made it to the entrance, there was a numbness to the fingers that you refused to realize until you typed your code in and felt what real warmth was for only a moment.
The lobby smelled damp, as it always did despite the dry winter that the city was experiencing. Sickly yellow lights changed the tile on the floor from beige to green, and you lamented the fact that the elevator that had been busted since your move-in date was still in the same condition.
Any other day, it wouldn’t’ bother you. But you let out an involuntary groan at the sight before making your way up the first flight of stairs, your fingers still pushed against the aching of your mid-section. You were certain that they were broken, or at the very least, bruised. It pained you to take a deep breath.
Two more flights of stairs and the excitement of the night had worn away entirely. Your whole body pulsed with pain, with fatigue and regret for not listening to your mother the million times she told you to be careful on your way home, to keep an eye on your surroundings.
It’s not you that I don’t trust, it’s other people. Her words echoed listlessly in your mind as you searched your pockets for your keys. The group of men who had jumped you must have snagged them too, or they were lost in the shuffle of things. Either way, you were locked out, and the damn was about to break.
“Come on,” You whispered, pressing your aching head against the cool wood of the door. You suppose you should be thinking whatever higher power was up there for letting you escape with your life, just not your cell phone. But right now, it all felt like a cruel joke.
You weren’t sure how long you lingered there, but it was long enough to slide down to the carpeted hallway and lean your head against the wall. It was much too late to call your landlord, even if you could. You were suddenly content to sleep the night off in the corridor. Concussion or not, unconsciousness called to you.
At some point, you’d drifted off to the buzzing sound of the overhead lights. When your neighbor approached, you didn’t’ make any attempt to unfold yourself at the sound of her soft footsteps. She had always been so courteous when she was home, making as little noise as possible, even when she arrived well into the night. This was no different.
She put her hand on your shoulder softly, it was a stark difference from the cold of the hallway, and you startled all the same, inhaling deeply and with enough haste to make you wince, a soft “ow,” escaping your lips.
Natasha was knelt down in front of you, an undeniable look of worry on her face. The two of you had been neighbors for over a year now, and you would be the last to admit that you wanted to get to know her better. She was quite elusive, and always kind. She was a mystery to you, and that made you all the more curious.
The two of you operated on the same schedule when she was home. You often ended up walking down to the mailboxes together, sharing in small talk. She was guarded at first, but the first time you had gotten her to open up, to laugh at a joke you couldn’t even recall, you knew that you wanted to hear that sound more than once.
Natasha would help you up the stairs with your groceries, despite your protests. You would help her learn how to cook something other than boxed mac and cheese. The two of you had shared a six-pack of beer during the buildings holiday block party on the roof, despite the cold. That night, Natasha had taught you how to peg a stop sign with a snowball, her aim impeccable.
The moments were few and far between, but they meant something to you both. You hadn’t seen her for about a month at this point and figured that she was traveling. There was no mention of what she did for work, and she seemed content not to tell you, just as you were content to let her do so in her own time. 
There was a suitcase next to her door, something you had never seen her with before. She was dressed in sweats, looking casual from a long day of travel. Her auburn hair was up in a loose bun, strands falling and framing her face. You couldn’t help but think that she was stunning.
Your face must have looked pretty banged up, because you could audibly hear her breath lodge in her throat. You hadn’t bothered calling the police, nor did you see much benefit in lingering in the spot that you’d been attacked. The only thought on your mind was getting back here, certainly not with the intention of seeing Natasha.
“Y/n,” her voice was gravelly. There was a coolness to her fingers that you wanted to lean into as she lifted your chin to get a better look at the pulsing feeling around your eye. You winced as her thumb moved against your busted lip, smearing away a streak of blood. “Who did this to you?”
Her voice was hard, almost with an edge of a threat on her tongue. You’d never heard her sound this way before. She was always soft, if not quiet in her calculations. Now, you saw worry and anger etched onto her beautiful features.
“Just some guys,” you said in an exhalation. “It’s not a big deal I got locked out.” 
The attempt to diffuse her worry was going poorly. Natasha frowned at you and released your chin. You struggled to voice your protests as Natasha eased her arm tightly around your center, pulling you to your feet. You saw stars, not quite sure if it was from her sudden closeness, or the exhaustive injuries.
Natasha was strong. She held you with little effort, even as you threatened to slump back down into your previous position. She unlocked her door, and you were welcomed with a warm darkness until she flicked on the light by the door.
Her home was modest, and understated. It overlooked a beautiful part of the city, the walls lined with novels that you’d otherwise be interested in. There were undertones of vanilla and tobacco, the same scent Natasha carried like a sword, your nose pressed against the small of her neck as she led you to the sofa and deposited you there.
Natasha vanished down the hallway. If her apartment mirrored yours, she would move towards the bathroom at the end of the hall. You nudged yourself up taller on the sofa, trying not to let your blood wick into its fabric. When She returned, she sheepishly shook a first-aide kit.
She set out her supplies and you groaned when you saw the bottle of iodine and cotton pads. She had done this before. Natasha worked with ease, she unscrewed the cap on the bottle before flipping it onto the pad, a sick brown liquid sopped into the surface. You could smell it from here, nose crinkling in response.
“Stop squirming, this will help.”
You highly doubted that, but all the same, let her work at the cut that was slit across your eyebrow. She dabbed the antiseptic and you refused to pull away. You knew that you would never try to get out of Natasha’s grasp. Her hand was warm and guiding. The sting eventually eased.
She asked, “Do you remember where you were when this happened?”
“Whoever they are, they’re long gone.”
You drew in a sharp breath when she nudged your ribs by accident. A discontent frown fell across her features. It wasn’t the same look of heated anger that dawned on her in the hallway. Instead, this was one of pure concern.
“We should really wrap that, you know? There’s no cure for broken ribs, but we can ease your suffering a bit with some plastic wrap.”
Before you could answer she put the iodine on the table and walked towards her kitchen. You watched her carefully. Each movement was calculated. “How do you know so much about this?”
“I’ve been put into some unsavory positions.” Natasha returned with a meager roll of cellophane. She stood, a pink color on her cheeks. “You’re going to have to take off your shirt.”
Now you were sputtering, mumbling a few things under your breath. The thrumming of your mid-section was enough for you to agree, even though your own cheeks heated up at the thought. She had a bit of a quirk to her lip, both eyebrows raised in amusement.
You got stuck halfway through, a twinge of pain shooting through your core. You must have winced, or Natasha could read the pain in your eyes because she mercifully helped you the rest of the way out. When she was done, the two of you were incredibly close, her breath warm on your skin, goosebumps coating every inch of your body.
A budding bruise stretched across your ribs, marring the tender flesh there. Natasha exhaled deeply, you felt the action everywhere. Her fingers moved across the deep smudges of brown and black and purple. Your mouth was suddenly dry as her forehead leaned against yours. She was quieter than usual.
“This shouldn’t have happened.” Natasha was knelt in front of you again, glowering as her soft touch soothed your aching. “I’ve spent my entire life making up for mistakes that I’ve made. Trying to stop the big bads of the world when… when horrible things happen everywhere, and the truth is, I can’t stop everything.”
“You don’t need to shoulder that responsibility, Natasha.” You mindlessly cupped her cheek and she sighed into the touch, her eyes closing for a moment of gratitude. “That’s not your job.”
“It is,” She swallowed hard “it is. And it pains me that you’re hurting like this. That I couldn’t protect you. All I’ve wanted to do since the moment I’ve met you is protect you from me, and seeing you like this, God, it shouldn’t’ have happened.”
She was crying, and you thumbed them away as she had done with your blood a few moments earlier. If there was any hesitancy in her emotion, it washed away with the simple gesture. Her nose brushed against yours, cold from the journey home.
Nat smelled of melted snow and you remembered the night on the rooftop. The way your elbows brushed together as you watched the lights over the city. You almost closed the distance then and there, but she’d pulled away, and you awkwardly downed another frothy beer before she threw a second snowball, nailing the stop sign where you had fallen short.
Now, it was her that leaned in. There was a slight nip of pain where your lip had split, but it eased slowly into pleasure. She tasted like hazelnut coffee from the airport, of an edge of mind. Your fingers traced her jaw. She sighed into the kiss, the most fragile sound in the world.
You broke the embrace regrettably, sucking air through your teeth “oh, ouch.”
“Sorry, I’m sorry” she chuckled softly, nudging her forehead with her own, touch dancing over your midsection. “We really should get you patched up.”
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softxsuki · 11 months ago
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Hey, hope you're doing great! Can i ask an urgent request, a jjk x fem reader where the reader is left in a vegetative state after a mission, all them seeing her for the first time in intensive care with multiple tubes going in and out of her while she was fighting for her life in a coma, and like when she wakes up she's clueless the first days, struggling to say what she wants or express any emotions because she's unable to talk (and move also) Hope it's not a burden to you <33
Megumi, Gojo, and Itadori With S/O Who's In A Coma After A Mission
| Pairings: Megumi x Fem!Reader, Gojo x Fem!Reader, Itadori x Fem!Reader | Genre: Hurt Comfort, Angst | Post-Type: Headcanons | Word Count: 1.07k |
Warnings: mentions of death (no one actually dies), past character deaths, despair, crying (in itadori's), reader in a coma
Note: Hello <3 Happy New Year. I actually really enjoyed writing this one. One of my fav jjk posts so far 0.0 hope you and anyone else that reads it also enjoys it! And I hope your situation with your family has improved <3
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Megumi:
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Megumi is in shock as soon as he finds out you’re in a coma after your recent mission
You had assured him you’d be okay, and in that moment, regret fills him for not pushing to be there with you
He’d already gone through this with Itadori years ago when he thought he was dead after that one mission they were on together, and now here you were clinging on to life, one of the most important people in his life
He was scared he’d never see you awake again, yet he remained calm on the outside, coming to the hospital to visit you everyday
You were in the same hospital as his sister, who was also in a coma, so he was also able to visit her more often while you were there
The two most important women in his life were practically lifeless on hospital beds, it killed him
However, hope filled him one day when he saw your fingers fidget and he immediately ran to get a doctor–you were waking up
Confusion fills you as soon as your eyes open, you can’t quite put together where you were, the last thing you remembered was fighting that powerful curse before everything went dark and now you were in a room surrounded by people in white coats
The doctors had just finished removing your breathing tube since you were finally stable and conscious 
Megumi feels his shoulders lighten as he sees your eyes open, you were alert, which was a good sign
He takes a seat beside you, the chair he’d been glued in since he found out you were in a coma and takes your hand to let you know he was there as the doctors started their examination on you to make sure you were doing well
The next few days are tough on you as you struggle to move or speak due to going so long without doing both of those things while in a coma, but Megumi is by your side the whole time helping you out
He spends his every waking moment by your side, taking care of you until you’re back to your normal self
Gojo:
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Like Megumi, Gojo is also worried of course, but that worry doesn’t show on the outside
Yet everyone around him knows something is wrong because he’s unusually quiet and doesn’t joke around anymore, he’s become very serious
He was the strongest in the world, yet couldn’t do one simple job and keep you safe? He was beyond disappointed in himself
There was so much responsibility on his shoulders that the elders threw on him, but they didn’t dare request him during these weeks while you were in a coma
Gojo was unstable and there was no telling what he’d do if anyone pushed him too far, so he spent his time visiting you, and continuing to teach and train his students, the only two things he could find the energy to do, but all solo missions were at a standstill
Even after you awaken, Gojo still isn’t himself, his attention is now fully on your recovery and making sure the doctors are doing their utmost best to make sure you recover fully
The thought that he was so close to losing you just like so many of his other friends and colleagues terrified him, he felt unworthy of his title of the strongest, but moving forward he’s even more protective of you after seeing how easy it was to almost lose you
So after you’re released from the hospital and sent back home, finally able to speak and move around again, Gojo is on high alert
He feels paranoid that something will happen to you again so he pushes back his missions and has the elders give them to other sorcerers in the meantime so he can watch over you
It kills you to see him this way so you’ll have to do your best to persuade him that you’ll be fine and safe, he can’t spend his whole life glued to your side, that’s no way for him to live
So it does take a while to persuade him to continue his work, but he makes sure to keep you heavily guarded while you’re still in recovery
It will take a while before he’s back to his usual self, just give him some time
Itadori:
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Itadori is probably the most visibly impacted one after hearing the news that you were in a coma after your latest mission
He’s another one who has lost countless people and felt responsible for not being strong enough to protect them, and now he couldn’t even protect you
He’s distraught, silent tears falling from his eyes as he makes a promise to exorcize the curse that did this to you
If he wasn’t by your side, he was out on the streets eliminating curse after curse, waiting for the moment he’d come across the curse that put your life in danger, he wouldn’t be going easy on it
It kills him to see all those tubes connected to your body, you looked so fragile, like any tiny gust of wind will have your heart monitor flat lining at any given moment, he was terrified 
He experienced too much loss already, if he lost you as well, he’d never recover
So when he receives a call from your doctor, he’s already running to the hospital before he even picks up the phone
You were awake
Tears of relief fall from his eyes when he sees for himself that you are in fact awake–your eyes on him as he enters your hospital room, eyes he thought he’d never see again
He collapses at your side, pulling you into his arms, almost scared that if he let go, he’d never see you again
The weeks of your recovery go smoothly with Itadori by your side though, he listens to everything the doctors say and helps you get back on your feet, literally
Walking became difficult for you, so he became your cane
Even talking hurt your throat, but he’d speak for you until your throat healed up andyou could speak again
He was incredibly attentive and caring during the next few weeks of your recovery and made a vow that nothing like this would ever happen to you again so long as he was alive and by your side
And that was a promise he’d keep forever
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Posted: 1/1/2024
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cl0wncakez · 3 months ago
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Say whatever you want about the black and white anime, but the one thing i will always stand by is that IRIS AND CILAN WERE NEVER PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!
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i did a full watch of the bw series a few weeks back, and the main 2 complaints i had about it were ash’s pokemon (he caught too many and most of them didn’t get enough screentime as a result) and team rocket (they were like barely there and didn’t even do the blasting off gag until the last season i think)
but for me the best parts of it were iris and cilan!!! i was kinda expecting them to be annoying cuz of all the hate they got, but i was pleasantly surprised at how enjoyable they were.
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first off, i am the number 1 iris defender. all the posts i see that complain about her say the same thing everytime: “all iris does is say that ash is a little kid!”
well, as someone who’s binged the entire unova anime in like a week and a half, i can say that there is so much more to her. but for one, she doesn’t even say that ash is a kid as often as you might think. she mostly says it in the first few episodes when she first met ash. for the rest of the series, she’ll occasionally say it in passing, but it is not her one defining trait. while there are a few instances where i thought that it wasn’t warranted, there are plenty more times where ash was being big dummy and deserved it.
what people seem to forget about iris is that at the start of ash’s unova journey, iris is practically a new trainer. her axew is at most only a few weeks old, and her excadrill, while strong, hasn’t battled for who knows how long after being brutally defeated by drayden’s haxorous, leaving it in a state of shock. so obviously, she isn’t going to be the most experienced trainer out there.
iris grew up in the village of dragons, which as the name suggests, is a village inhabited by various dragon type pokemon. having spent her whole life surrounded by dragon types, iris has made it her dream to become a dragon type master. while at the beginning of her journey, she’s just with her axew, she over time has several encounters with dragon type pokemon, all of which help her better understand how to communicate with dragon types.
in one episode, she helped a druddigon out from a trap set by team rocket, while everyone else assumed it was rampaging out of anger. in another, the gang were helping out at a pokemon daycare, and in it was a deino, who was extremely shy. it’s trainer hadn’t returned for days after they said they would (the trainer ended up getting lost in a cave) and it was beginning to refuse to eat due to its anxiety. and what did iris do? she stayed with the deino the whole night, helping it relax in a place it wasn’t familiar with. it’s episodes like these that show that she’s not a one dimensional character, and like the rest of ash’s companions, she has character development.
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but what helped fully flesh out her arc was when she caught her dragonite.
unlike axew, who was by her side from the beginning, she and dragonite did not get along immediately. dragonite was stubborn, wouldn’t listen to iris, and had its own way of battling. in order to become a dragon master, she would first have to understand dragonite. the trust that was built happened really slowly, but she did get there. by understanding a pokemon as troubled as her dragonite, iris would then be able to reach out and soothe her excadrill, making it confident enough to battle again, and help axew evolve after her journey with ash ended. and i think that was a solid way to end her arc until pokemon journeys, where offscreen, she fulfilled her dream as a dragon master and became the champion of unova.
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now onto cilan.
cilan doesn’t get hated on nearly as much as iris, he’s more or less just forgotten about. so while i was expecting to hate iris when i first started watching, i had zero expectations on cilan. and tbh, i think he’s my favorite traveling companion?? if not than at least top 3.
cilan is the oldest of three siblings, and he first met ash and iris when ash came to battle at the triplet’s restaurant/gym. usually, the challenger only battles one of them, but ash was the first person to want to challenge all 3 brothers. when it was cilan’s turn to battle, he assumed that he would win due to him having the type advantage (ash choosing to battle with oshawott against cilan’s pansage)
well, ash won. and a few episodes later, cilan asked if he could join ash on his journey. the reason cilan wanted to come along was because he saw a new side to pokemon battling that he wanted to better understand.
something about cilan is that while he is a gym leader, he doubles as a pokemon connoisseur. a connoisseur is someone who makes critical judgements in fine arts or matters of taste. for cilan, he analyzes the bond between trainer and pokemon. and during his battle with ash, he evaluated his and oshawotts bond based on their battle. and he dug INTO ash, almost outright insulting his capabilities as a trainer, due to his assumptions from ash using a water type against a pansage.
but the thing is, cilan was wrong. in the end, oshawott ended up winning with ash’s strategy and support.
he fully expected to win, and was given an entirely new perspective of battling after seeing ash pull through. like cooking, pokemon battles aren’t just about type advantage and throwing moves out. it’s about thinking outside the box and trusting your pokemon, which ash accomplished by having oshawott use its scallchop to deflect a bullet seed attack. wanting to become a better trainer and connoisseur, cilan tagged along to gain a new understanding between trainer and pokemon.
and outside of his arc, cilan is just a genuinely fun character!!! did you know that along with being a pokemon connoisseur, this man is also a fishing, cooking, detective, judge, and film connoisseur??? and he can cook!! (EDIT: people are mentioning that he is also a train connoisseur!!! sorry :( i forgor)
cilan is shown to be more composed with his emotions than the previous traveling partners ash had. he also plays a mediator role whenever ash and iris bicker. and remember, cilan is the oldest sibling of 3 triplets, so he’s likely had to play mediator countless times if his brothers ever argued. ash and iris also seem to have a sibling-like bond, so their clashing was probably similar to what cilan faced before with cress and chili.
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as i said, cilan is much more patient and gentleman-like. so the few moments where he genuinely loses his shit leaves a stronger impact.
the most notable example was with skyla, who instead of fulfilling her gym duties, played out battles in her head, and made her own judgements on if she could win a battle or not. this lead to challengers either being pushed away without a chance to battle, or given a gym badge without deserving it.
now cilan, who is a gym leader, sees this as a disgrace. it goes against everything a gym leader is supposed to do. skyla was lazy, arrogant, and wouldn’t do her job, which set him off. while he did lose against skyla, it was a big character moment to try and defend his honor as a gym leader.
overall, cilan is soooooo cool you guys don’t get him the way i do!!! i am the number 1 cilan fan!!!!
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i think the reason people complain about iris and cilan more than any other companions ash had is because they were different.
iris had a completely different goal than everyone before her, it was a complete 180. she had zero interest in contests or performing, her dragon master dream was brand new in the anime. additionally, her relationship with ash was more like siblings than best friends, which likely made some viewers think their bickering was annoying.
and cilan. poor guy didn’t even have a chance from the start. not after brock was around for like a billion seasons.
overall, the black and white anime does have its problems, as does every pokemon anime. but leave iris and cilan out of it THEY ARE INNOCENT PARTIES :(
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naturesapphic · 7 months ago
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Is it possible for a lady dimitrescu x reader where Alcina has a lover in the past before the cadou but died and years later she meets reincarnated reader when she saves reader from a crash (aircraft or vehicle etc.) and the three daughters meddling thinks that reader will be their new parent?
Reincarnated
Lady dimitrescu x fem!reader
Warnings: little bit of angst, cussing, fluff
- the crash was horrible, there was many cars involved and only few survived
- you were one of the survivors
- the ambulance and cops were surrounding the whole area
- you were in and out of consciousness
- when you came too, there was someone carrying you to the ambulance
- when you woke up, you were in a hospital bed with a tall woman standing over you with three people behind her
- she introduced herself as alcina dimitrescu and her three daughters were daniela, Cassandra, and bela dimitrescu
- for some reason those names and how they look looked so familiar to you
- the lady must have felt the same because she kept looking at you and was always with you
- you always did wonder why she saved you and not the other people, why did she care for stranger so much?
- after you got out of the hospital the lady and her three daughters wanted to keep in touch
- you agreed because she did save your life and they did seem very nice
- even though you had a gut feeling that you knew them, maybe from a past life or something
- it’s been around a year and you have developed feelings for the lady and has grown fond of her daughters as well
- when you left the hospital a year ago, she invited you to stay with her until you rested up
- you didn’t live far from her so you decided to take up on her offer and now you are living in her castle
- sometimes you overhear her daughters beg and meddle her about how the two of you need to get together
- you thought it was cute and actually wondered if alcina felt the same way you do
- so one night you came into her office and you told her the truth about how you feel about her and the deju vu feeling you’ve always had with her since the first time y’all met
- she was very understanding and had the same romantic feelings you have for her which made you relieved and so happy
- she even showed you a photo of her old lover which looked a lot like you and she explained that you may have been reincarnated and came back, that’s why you look the same and the extreme deju vu you’ve been having ever since you’ve met her
- you were shocked beyond belief and everything suddenly came back to you
- memories of you and her started flooding in and you starting sobbing which caused alcina to worry
- but you quickly reassured her that they were happy tears and that you were so happy that the universe brought you back together
- you both enveloped each other in a tight embrace and share many kisses that were lost throughout the years
- after the two of y’all shared a special moment, you both decided to go tell her daughters
- they were absolutely ecstatic and were so happy
- they knew they had a good feeling about you and told them that you died before the cadou and before they were born
- a few months later you got married and you had your wife and her children now with you
A/n: sorry anon that this took so long but I hope you enjoyed it and I hope the rest of y’all enjoy it too! Requests are still open for all of my characters including of course Rhea ripley/Demi Bennett. I have my own buy me a coffee page! You can give me a dollar and it will help. I also have some different commission types I will do so here's my page to look into it :) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/naturesapphic Requests are open for yeehaw!wanda, country!wanda, and any other southern variants of Wanda or Natasha! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y'all!
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shadesoflsk · 9 months ago
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Hiiii!!!! I have an idea! Imagine like getting married to leon/going through the whole process of wedding shopping etc with him. Also do you think he would cry at a wedding? I love your works sm you're so talented I hope you have a great day/night! 💗
leon kennedy x gn reader
Anon... You don't know how much I enjoy thinking about Leon getting married and all those sappy things. It's like you read my mind. And thank you so much ueueue. I'm glad you like my works. <3
I feel like Leon would act really calm and collected in front of you. Even cracking some jokes about not having anything planned out for the wedding. But Dear God that is far from the truth. 
But first, let’s talk about everything before the whole preparation. Leon would definitely struggle to get the right ring size for you. Acting smooth? Not in his dictionary. At first, he’d try it when both of you are ‘sleeping.’ He once read someone could get the exact size by wrapping a string around his partner’s finger.
He tried.
It was unsuccessful. 
You either shifted in your sleep or he couldn’t get the right angle to wrap the thin string.
Ultimately, he just asked you to try some rings, just for funsies… Of course. 
Now, after the exhausting task of buying the ring and actually asking you to marry him, he'd be delighted to start organizing the wedding.
At first, he'd try to brush it off by saying that both of you should go with the flow, not to stress over the wedding. But his old-ass would discover Pinterest and a new world was presented for him. His favorite late-night activity would be searching for wedding ideas and he takes his job very seriously.
Glasses and all, he’d hold his cell phone so close to his face for you not to notice him. Poor guy doesn’t know that you can see through the reflection of them. Usually, he’d leave all the decorations to you, even when you two decided to move in together since he lacks creativity. But a wedding involves two people, and that day is just as special for him as it is for you.
Eventually, he understands he doesn’t need to feel bashful. All of his life has been surrounded by destruction and violence, he may as well indulge in the domesticity and the tranquility of finally settling down with someone he loves.
Leon is a foodie, so his favorite appointments are the ones in which both of you have to try the dishes you want to serve at your wedding. Growing up, he didn’t get to eat home meals, and even when he first started the Police Academy most of his meals consisted of takeouts or food he’d prepare himself. So the mere task of devouring those plates for the sake of the wedding was a great excuse.
He wouldn’t wear a suit and you wouldn’t force him either. However, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t put some effort into how he looks. Part of the wedding planning included a visit to his most trusted barber! He’d definitely shave to look clean in the pictures, but his hair would remain the same.
Leon talks to you and shares his thoughts about the wedding reception. Flashy and showy types of settings aren’t his thing so he suggests going for a beach wedding. The suggestion soon turns into persuasion. He’d show you videos of people getting married on the beautiful Caribbean beaches, or some perfect attires for the beach.
“Oh, it seems that my phone is spying on me or something.” He glances a subtle look at you to see if you’re listening to him. By the tone of his voice, you already know what he is implying.
“Why is that?” And when you finally look at him, you see how his smiles get wider. Of course he got you.
“Because… YouTube won’t stop showing me beach wedding videos. How crazy it is, right?”
So, Leon’s pleas are heard and you decide to go for it. Although, something you both agree on is the fact that it needs to be private, just friends and family.
And yes, he definitely cries at the wedding. One thing he kept from his religious past is the vows, he promises you a future in which he is going to be next to you no matter what. So, in the middle of his speech, his voice would crack, a tiny bit. Clearing his throat he acts like nothing happened but everyone could notice how emotional he is.
Overall, Leon would be delighted to take this next step with you. The last thing he expected in his life was to find love in this messed-up world. And don’t get me started on how Leon would be as a husband because that man is husband material through and through! I’d write a whole essay just for him.
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sukifoof · 11 months ago
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HI WATCH OUT FOR UNDERTALE YELLOW SPOILERS . ANYWAY
watched the ut yellow neutral end and ohhh i am losing my MIND... just. thinking about how flowey is only willing to move on in the true pacifist route. the route where he sees kindness and a genuine want to help others in a human child. asriel died to save humans because of the people he was surrounded with. toriel asgore and chara are people who feel very strongly for those around them and he couldn't take human lives when the only human he knew was chara. a kid who cares enough about the people around them to sacrifice themself, just like the way his parents are.
flowey comments on toriel letting herself go because she cares so much and how we wouldn't have to feel so bad if we simply didn't care. his whole coping mechanism is distancing himself from others and Not Caring because if he allows himself to feel it'll just completely destroy him. he felt for the humans on the surface even when they were attacking him and the way he treats clover in neutral vs pacifist says a lot about his want to see good in others.
hes constantly pushing frisk to go with options that benefit everyone and while he worries about clover caring about those around him he seems to really appreciate it. at any moment he could just do whatever he wants with clover's life. the only route in which flowey allows them to make their own choices with their life is when they're being a good person and he just can't help but call them a friend because that's the type of person he's always wanted to be around. that's the type of person that's home to him!!
and i keep thinking about how he just couldn't let clover live out their life with toriel in the ruins. something something toriel trying to make up for feeling like she failed asriel and chara and flowey feeling replaced and clover being stuck in a small place for the rest of their life. i have thoughts on this that i don't know how to put into words but i'm not at all surprised flowey wasn't okay with that. of Course he wasn't. hes flowey. he has every issue ever. i think that allowing clover to live with toriel would make flowey feel like he really has to accept that he can't just go back to the past and he's not ready to come to terms with anything that's happened yet
flowey always insists he doesn't care and he can't feel as a result of his trauma but it's so clear from his regret and fondness for people who are compassionate that compassion is something he always strives for. even though he doesn't understand and can't understand it's always something he wants to see in others. it hurts to be compassionate and to love others and it's why he blocks it out but at the end of the day he's the same person who sacrificed himself and his sibling to save who knows how many people both in the underground and surface, and the same person who let go of what he believed to be the only way he could stay "himself" for the sake of freeing monsters.
he's such a fascinating character... his mind and heart are at war with each other and i love how undertale yellow goes into this with the way they portray how he reacts to clover's death in the pacifist route. "maybe you've earned your rest" and calling them a friend after trying to act tough... he really respects when others are truly kind despite what some might consider common sense. i don't know where i'm going with this anymore but i hope u guys get it. just imagine i am gripping ur shoulders and pointing at flowey frantically
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espresseo-cafe · 1 year ago
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life is still beautiful | johnny | ch.1
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genre: cappucino, romance, angst, university!au, dad!au, drama, slice of life
pairing: collegestudent!johnny x fem!reader
bean count: 4k
a/n: i’m so excited to be sharing this with you! it has been in the works since 2020 on and off and omg i can finally post this fanfic. this whole series has mentions of characters from different groups other than nct- red velvet, dreamcatcher, seventeen, sf9, etc to avoid confusion with people of the same name! note: this is only a work of fiction, it doesn’t reflect the artists’ personalities in any way.
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growing up, the continuous tingling feeling whenever you see your parents arguing at the end of your hallway always broke your heart. the raised voices, objects getting thrown around, and the banging of slammed doors against the doorframe deafened your ears. you remembered you had to knock on every single apartment on the floor; same, above, and below- to apologise the nuisance your parents caused. some with good hearts would understand out of pity for you, others would provoke to kick your family out of the building. so far, you’ve made it to several years without any notice from the landlord.
with that background, there weren’t any doubts that it affected the way you perceive everything in life. silence overpowered the joyous you like a large coat, it has been that way. the younger you wouldn’t understand the clash of your parents. the younger you wouldn’t know the problems they had. most importantly though, the younger you wouldn’t receive any love or support from them at all.
it was like you never existed.
as you hit the eighteenth mark, you’ve made the bold but practical decision to move out. the toxicity they emitted were too much for you to handle. with every penny or dime you’ve been saving everyday since you were twelve and some extra cash from various part time jobs since you were sixteen, you had your small carry on luggage packed and left first thing in the morning one summer. a dilemma kind of held you back whether to leave a note for your mom and dad, only deciding not to and tell them not to find you.
if there was anything you were blessed with even if you were put in a dire situation of a broken home, you had to pat yourself at the back for never failing your grades. just average and sometimes in the honorable mention’s list. thanks to that, you’ve secured a place at a university far from your family home.
and of course, choosing a location far off was more than intentional.
the first few months were a challenge, the surroundings took you sometime to familiarise. adjustment was never an issue though, running away from home was worth the change. as you expected, your parents didn’t bother to look for their only daughter. scoffing at the past, you realised it had almost been three years since you left.
making friends was easy too, to your surprise. known as the loner and depressed type in high school, you tried to change yourself a bit and managed to befriend a new crowd of people. of course, you were discerning on people who are worth to befriend, not the ones who’d waste your time. one of them being kim yoohyeon, who’s now your best friend and roommate.
“y/n, i’m going out to the store, want anything?” she asked while putting on a cardigan.
you hummed and rolled your eyes playfully, “hm, two packs of ramyeon and chips. you’re paying alright?” she threw a crumpled ball of tissue at you, gasping at the very direct response. “what? it’s two in the morning and i’m helping you pull an all-nighter for your fashion thesis due in two months and a half. i deserve a treat. be thankful i don’t have class tomorrow and that my part-time’s in the afternoon.”
“okay fine.” she dramatically slouched her shoulders down, “be back in a jiffy bub!”
as the door closed, you sighed and stretched your almost numbed body. yoohyeon’s project was half done, just needed a little more tweaking and you could say hello to a convenience store feast.
yoohyeon was the first person you met at orientation, she seemed to extract innocence at first glance. though as you got to know her, she was a meme in real life who possessed extreme talent in singing. you and her clicked, she had problems in her home but they were immediately managed. so she was all smiles from ear to ear. it was something you were envious of; to have a healthy relationship with parents, however, it wasn’t working with you at all.
sometimes you wondered how it felt like, to have someone love you like family. your aunts or uncles would message you to check on you, and whenever they brought your parents up, you shoved down the topic back to its grave. it’s dead conversation anyway. the latest update you heard from them was two years ago. they still lived in the same damned roof where they argued a lot, you wondered why they were still stuck to each other like glue. the only difference was that your dad worked the night shift while your mom on the mornings. so they probably never see each other eye to eye.
when they did though, all hell broke loose.
you were brushed off your thoughts when yoohyeon opened the door, “okay, here’s your food, time to pig out!”
“finally, i’m starving.” you had the hot water boiling before she arrived, immediately putting the ramyeon in the pot.
“so,” she started, opening a bag of potato chips.
“when are you planning to date? it’s been theee years since uni started and i’ve never seen you on dates before.”
you pressed your lips into a thin line, “not right now.”
“why not? you’re pretty, you can cook; you’re even taking an early childhood education course, specifically in special education.” she plopped one into her mouth and chewed shamelessly, “i bet you’re good with kids too.”
“so apparently that makes me an ideal girl?”
“an ideal girl worth to have!” she exclaimed, later reaching for your unlocked phone. “guess what, download this app and go have some fun.”
“if that’s tinder you’re planning on brainwashing me with, i’m not interested.” you joked, mixing the sauce and toppings with the now cooked noodles.
“you never know, it might work.” she singsonged.
you sighed, yoohyeon has been pushing you to date because she felt like you were like a hermit, always stuck in your own shell and would only go out if needed to. not that you were interested, you just wanted to get school done and make a stable living. love will come anyway.
she clicked on the app store and downloaded a trendy app named ‘love click’. “it’s an app solely made for university students within the state. kinda like tinder but you play anonymous with a made up nickname, no one will know how you look like.”
you raised a brow. “that’s dangerous than tinder, y’know?”
“this is different, they can detect fake accounts and do a facial recognition. anyway, once you put your actual photo and real age, it will automatically pair you with others similiar with yours; interests, and hobbies. then it will change your face to a random avatar if ever you do a video call.” she tapped away. “that’s how i met hwang minhyun.”
“eh, i still think it’s risky. besides, you just got lucky. you scored a hottie.” you slurped on the noodles. “i could never.”
“just try, you could always quit and they’ll never find you. and who knows? you might even receive the whole package.”
you sighed, “okay fine. i’ll do it just once, for you alright?” you finished the rest and threw the excess soup away. “i’m not doing any after that.”
“cool! all your details are in here already. let me know if someone messages you.” she gave you a playful wink before working on her project once again.
johnny stretched his limbs after a quick power nap, he haven’t had enough rest since he was on the clock 24/7. he turned to his side to check the time, sighing a relief when it was only 3pm. as if it was waiting for him to be awake, a text message from his mom appeared on the screen.
[ mom] : “don’t forget to eat, my dear john. you’ve got two mouths to feed ❤️”
johnny smiled at his mom’s reminder, he was relieved that the messages were reduced to a low, knowing how protective she was.
a loud thud on the floor made johnny stand on his feet and rush to the door next to his. his worried demeanor soon changed to a soft one when he saw a little smile beamed at him from the ground.
“youngmin-ah, what’re you doing on the floor? did you hurt yourself?”
the child just giggled, softening johnny’s heart every single he did so.
he remembered the night when the almost two year old came into his life. it was a rough beginning, but he managed himself and was proud how he actually did while still in school.
his friends were in full support of this unexpected scenario and would take turns in looking after the child while he worked the night shifts at a café. like any other people, his friends were in doubt at his decision of bringing him to lectures.
johnny again proved them wrong.
what surprised them wasn’t how the baby managed to be quiet in all of the classes, but how johnny effortlessly handled him if ever a fuss was made. kun recalled that in one of their exams in biology major, johnny had the baby cradled in one arm as the other wrote the quiz. the professor wanted to hold the baby boy while johnny did the exam, but young man refused to, saying that he could handle it. he wouldn’t want the baby crying in a stranger’s hold while everyone was so stressed for the exams. adding that the baby’s wails would be a distraction.
he became viral at the university page when a photo of him feeding youngmin a bottle of milk, that certain scenario made girls want him as a husband. sometimes they would stop by to say hello to him and the child.
“dada.” johnny smiled at title, the little toddler fiddling the bottle in his hand while his feet stretched up.
“seems like you’re alright.” he poked his nose, earning a giggle from the two year old. “i still have to check any injuries. say youngmin, your birthday’s coming up soon. what would you like?”
youngmin hummed, as if he understood the question clearly.
“well?”
“mama.”
johnny was caught off guard that he tickled the little toddler as he smiled. “buddy, you already have a mama though.” his phone dinged, indicating an incoming text message. “speaking of her, she just texted me.”
[ kim minji ]: sorry babe, couldn’t make it tonight for dinner. i got singing rehearsals.
[ johnny ]: it’s cool. how about tomorrow?
[ kim minji ]: i’ll see first, pretty busy.
he put his phone back into his pocket, sighing at the same excuse his girlfriend gave. he didn’t want to overthink but it had been like this for a while, he wondered if she had fallen out of love. shaking his head, he shrugged off the thought to the back of his mind.
youngmin turned his full body to the side before standing and climbed onto johnny’s kneeled figure, the bottle still in between his baby teeth. “mama, where?”
“she’s not coming home tonight. maybe some other time.” he ruffled youngmin’s soft hair, eyes closing due to exhaustion. but then the little toddler smiled and patted his cheek and johnny wrapped his arms around the little frame. “come on, let’s get you dinner, we’re having your favourite!”
“lasagna!” youngmin put arms up, and johnny could melt anytime.
“hey you said it perfectly this time! well done my so-“ he paused as his phone dinged, a snapchat notification from taeyong appeared on the screen. making the toddler tilt his head to why the young man stopped mid-sentence. “let’s go to wash your hands alright?”
while youngmin nodded then hopped away towards the bathroom, swiping to unlock his phone, a snap video that his said friend sent made his eyebrows meet in an ugly mood.
[ taeyongss ]: bro is that jiu? your mj?
it was his girlfriend giving a lap dance to someone he couldn’t seem to recognise due to the flashing lights, she was enjoying it and the shocking thing was, she wasn’t drunk at all.
kim minji, his girlfriend since senior high, had a few names labeled on her. one of them was jiu (pronounced as ji-yoo) a nickname everyone called her in school, being one of the main solos for the choir.
some of the juniors called her a pink princess because of her obsession with the said colour. owning almost everything in it.
and mj was a form of endearment that only johnny used. his expression changed from a smile to a frown, throwing his phone on the bed that it bounced off and landed on the ground; earning his phone a crack on the screen.
“dada?” youngmin peeked through the bedroom door. now it was him to hear the thudding sound. “happen?”
johnny jumped a little seeing the child standing by the door with a towel in his hands. “my phone fell. come on, let’s eat.”
lasagna was a favourite dish youngmin adored eversince he brought him to an italian restaurant. meatballs were a favourite too, but something about lasagna topped it. as youngmin was busy making his hands dirty, johnny called his mom at this hour, she was probably home by now.
“ah my love johnny! i’m glad you called, what is it?” her voice still bright and lively.
“um, i was wondering if i could drop youngmin off tonight?” he played with the fork. “taeyong messaged me and i think i need to have a drink and hang out for a bit.”
his mom’s soft laughter brought relief to his ears, “oh sure my dear, your dad and i could need some company. it’s been quiet around here since you’ve grown.”
johnny smiled at the reply, “great, we’ll be there in ten.”
“see you later.” she singsonged.
after dropping youngmin off, he made his way to the bar where his girlfriend was. everyone who met johnny knew that he could be reckless when someone crossed over the line, who knows what scene he’d make tonight?
“johnny.” taeyong called out after seeing him enter the bar, johnny walking towards the bar where his friend was stationed at. “please don’t make a scene. my boss let you off the hook the last time you broke loose.”
johnny’s eyes scanned the area, looking for mj before looking at back at taeyong. “don’t worry. i won’t. this johnny won’t do anything.”
“better keep your word. she’s by the corner over there.” taeyong pointed with his head, “she’s been here for the past three months. good thing i’m the only one from campus who has seen her. if anyone else did she’d lose her solo spot at the choir. so called ‘angel’, huh? no offense.”
“none taken, but thanks bro. see you later at the dorms.” johnny said, then he walked through partygoers, the blasting music was deafening so much he hated it.
“i know right? he’s such a sweetheart.” mj said to her friend as she patted the guy’s shoulder who she danced with earlier. “i’d love to-“
“mj.” johnny’s cold voice rung in her ears, sending shivers to her spine. what is he doing here? “i’m guessing rehearsals ended early or it never existed.”
“babe i-“
“ey johnny suh!” the guy seated next to her greeted him drunkenly, the more he looked closer in the dimmed light, his blood boiled. “haven’t seen you since you had a baby! minji has been great to me recently.”
it was his high school rival, takuya terada.
“we’ll catch up soon won’t we?” johnny said sarcastically. takuya wouldn’t know anyway, his vision probably already blurry to even comprehend a straight conversation. he looked at minji, who averted her gaze towards him as she rolled her eyes. “we need to talk, outside.”
he took her by the wrist and he didn’t care if he was hurting her. she hurt him first; for a while now actually. he just had to put up a front before he vent out when they exited the bar.
“what the hell, minji.” he threw his grip away, minji holding her wrist and tsk-ed at the attitude. “is that why you’ve been missing out lately? you were cheating on me with takuya?”
“missing out? johnny you’ve been missing out too!” she raised her voice, “i don’t know if you have noticed but it’s been straining on the both of us recently!”
“so your solution was to hang out with another guy when you could’ve voiced out to me about your feelings? mj, we’ve talked about this!” he wiped his face frustatingly. “i don’t think-“
“i don’t love you anymore, john.” she said blankly, her face didn’t emit any pain she felt, it was like she wanted it out there. “that’s why i’ve been ‘missing out’.”
“you don’t.. love me anymore?” johnny stood in shock, his voice shaking a little.
“i fell out of love. i’m sorry.. i’ve been planning to tell you but i couldn’t.” she hugged her arms. “i didn’t want to hurt you.”
“my gut feeling told me there was something up. i was hurt just thinking about it. i don’t know but somehow i knew it all along that you were out of it. i didn’t bring it up because i held onto hope and believed my guts were lying that you cheated on me.” he said, his hands rested on his hip. “turns out i was right.”
“i’m sorry.”
“save it. i’m not hurt at all. maybe i just had to come here to confirm if it were true. you can live with that guilt that you’ve broken me already before you even said anything. i’ll raise youngmin myself. we’re done.”
johnny walked away while the cold wind sliced through his cheeks. usually in a breakup, one would break down. him and minji dated since high school, and there were on and off arguments here and there. they would always make up through talking, but to be told that she was cheating on him by another person sure sucked. he’d rather find it out himself and vent out right then and there.
guess this timing was actually better. though he told minji he was broken, he was actually so much more than that. he expected to at least shed a tear, he didn’t, for youngmin’s sake. even though he felt like an elephant was lifted off his shoulders, his heart was anchored deep below.
he felt so heavy with betrayal that his heart ached so much in a way he didn’t expect.
he wanted to break down so bad.
the door swung open of his family home and youngmin screeched a high pitched tone loud enough to startle the old man beside him, who was reading a newspaper. “oh john’s back.”
“dada.” the little one ran towards him, hugging his long legs for a second before johnny picked him up. “back!”
johnny’s mood changed like a shooting star whenever youngmin’s in sight. “hey little buddy! i’m back, i had to meet a friend earlier.” he kissed his cheek, “were you good to granny bear and papa bear?”
“he was an angel, john!” his mom gave her son a quick peck on the cheek. “who knew you could raise him very well? plus singlehandly!”
“he got it from me, my dear.” his dad took the chance to say, “are your studies going well though?”
“still a dean’s lister, dad.” johnny’s ears tinted a light shade of pink.
“that, he got it from me.” his mom winked at his dad, who scoffed at the remark. “where’s minji? you haven’t brought her here for a while.” the look on johnny’s face was too readable that his mom knew in an instant.
“we broke up. she had another guy behind my back.”
the sudden snickers from his parents left him in question, were they laughing? “great ‘cause we didn’t really like her for you!”
“really?.. wait, what?” he asked in disbelief, “anyway, i broke it off and i kinda knew she was out of it already.”
“took you a while to realize it, john.” his father just sighed, “are you going to get a new one?”
“what? no.” johnny chuckled awkwardly, “anyway we’ll take our leave now.” johnny shook youngmin a little before his parents bid them a goodbye. he walked towards his car and buckled him up. “ready to go, buddy?”
“ready.” he wiped his eyes, sleep covering him very soon. “music please.”
“which one?” johnny asked as he set the rear mirror to get a good look at him, knowing well what youngmin was going to say.
“coldplay!” they said simultaneously.
“now that, you got it from me.” he laughed heartily while they made their way back to his shared apartment with taeyong, jungwoo, and kun.
the clinks of the apartment keys had the boys look up from their game on playstation. jungwoo sighing frustratedly when kun defeated him thrice in a row. “seriously? you’re cheating, kun hyung!”
kun stretched, “clearly not. you’re just a bad player.”
“could one of you dumbasses get the kimchi from the table?” taeyong shouted from the kitchen, only to be greeted with youngmin having the wanted side dish in his tiny hands. “see, youngmin just got here and he did a better job than you two!”
“it’s loud in here, damn.” johnny took his shoes off while youngmin had his phone in his hands.
kun sat on one of the couches, eating the kimchi fried rice taeyong just made. “so you met up with minji, how did the dinner go?”
taeyong nudged the younger boy, and jungwoo looked confused. johnny couldn’t blame the two, they didn’t know what actually happened. “these two lovebirds called it quits tonight.”
“what!?”
“yup.” johnny popped his lips, “takuya terada”
kun’s eyes widened, “like.. takuya from high school?”
“they suit each other anyway, the biggest flirts of ____ high.” jungwoo chewed on a kimbap. “no offense.”
“none taken, i feel relieved anyway.” he sat down spotting taeyong busy typing on his phone. “you still looking for girls on love click?”
“well yeah, someone should at least find me attractive.” he replied.
jungwoo snickered before choking on his food, “as if anyone would see your face through a filter system on the app. just what is the university thinking?”
“ha, wait until they see this handsome thing for real.” he turned to johnny, “bro you should try looking for new love, you’re in need of it right now, you know?” taeyong locked his phone to continue eating the almost midnight dinner.
“please, i’m still freshly ‘heartbroken’, don’t tempt me.” johnny rolled his eyes.
“mama.” youngmin shook the huge phone, a selfie of johnny and minji flashed the screen.
“not mama anymore.” he told him, then youngmin clicked on another app.
“mama.” he showed them the love click app; the color scheme of red and pink caught his attention. and johnny scrunched his brows, the other three smirking at each other.
“seems like he wants a new mama.” kun teased, earning a death glare from johnny. “what? that whole daddy look of yours is attractive to almost every girl in campus. just wife someone up already!”
shaking his head, he couldn’t believe the encouragement from his friend. “too soon my bros.” johnny chuckled, “maybe i’ll give it try after a few weeks or so.”
johnny sat by the bed while youngmin slept with his sausage pillow. now that he thought about it, the little boy hadn’t seen minji in months. it was obvious that he’d look for her. but what he didn’t get was that he showed love click; a dating app he didn’t remember installing.
“mama.” he recalled youngmin say.
he dimmed the lights and sat beside youngmin, patting his bottom gently as he drifted away into slumber, he too was getting sand in his eyes. he pressed his lips into a thin line, halfheartedly created an account just in case he really needed it.
“this is stupid.”
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taglist: @titanmaknae29 @joepomonerof @lovesuhng @studyingthemind @cheyehc
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ihopesocomic · 2 months ago
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Do you think bullying is considered a type of abuse? Does "bully redemption" trope can also be considered a abuser redemption? I can't like this kind of narrative at all. Not even "A Silent Voice " could convince me.
The thing is with bullying is that it is often committed by children and the overreaching fact is that hardly any adult is going to look back on their actions as a child/young adult and say yes, that totally was not cringe of me. This further compounded by the person's home life and/or if they're dealing with personal issues.
I was a pretty huge asshole as a kid and it's not like I mellowed out the moment I hit 18 either. I was dealing with a lot of stuff (i.e. such as undiagnosed autism/schizophrenia and psychologists refusing to take me seriously) and I dealt with it in a shitty manner by being this "edgy badass" online and just getting into online fights whenever I can because being deemed intimidating and scary online made up for the fact I was an insecure outcast offline.
I truly regret how I conducted myself back then. Regardless of what I was going through, nobody deserved to have to deal with me lashing out at them. It was also just embarrassing behaviour to boot.
But I do think bullying can certainly be counted as abuse and it certainly begets abusive tendencies (points to self, who was bullied throughout elementary and high school). But in that vain, I feel people respond to depictions of it in a manner that isn't exactly constructive and is borderline abusive itself, like the desire to outright commit assault or murder on said bully being depicted. lol
Because I also feel this question is also in reference to Rose and her behaviour and while I can't give much away on how we're going to handle her arc, I feel like people demanding she dies or whatever is just... Yeah, let's not. It's essentially 'I hope Vicious dies, particularly at the hands of her abuser' all over again.
It's clear Rose is growing up in a pretty unhealthy environment and is being groomed to take on a position of authority in said unhealthy environment.
I've seen the same kind of reception to irl children of cult leaders and the intent behind Rose's character is to deconstruct the fact that people - particularly children - are very much influenced by what surrounds them and will respond accordingly to it. We're social animals at the end of the day. Same goes for (anthropomorphic) lions. Not to mention what goes on in a cult that may seem alarming and disturbing to us is not necessarily the case for those within it... because they've been brainwashed into thinking it's OK. Rose is very much not exempt from this and her being groomed to become Queen by her father has only made things worse.
Anyway, my apologies, this thing got pretty long and also kinda personal and it probably also doesn't make a whole lot of sense but feeling that bullies cannot be redeemed? Totally get that. Responding to the depiction with unhealthy thoughts of child abuse or murder? I can't really get behind that. If there's room for growth and a chance for them to change rather than becoming outright established abusers as fully-fledged adults, I feel we should hope for that. - RJ
--
Like everything, it depends on how it's done. I don't know what A Silent Voice is, but some things are just too far past forgiveness or redemption. Cuz at that point its not "bullying", it's hazing. If it's teasing, or there's mutual sass happening, or heck even if one person thinks the other is bullying but it was a misunderstanding (Amity calling Luz a bully in The Owl House), and its not full on harassment, or stalking, I don't see the harm in allowing someone to better themselves and liking how they've changed, especially if they're young. And I don't see a problem with a friendship beginning at a place of conflict and grow into something strong and meaningful. I don't even think forgiveness of the bullying itself is a requirement to move on? Maybe I'm just old so I handle things differently than like a teenager would, but certain stuff just stops bothering you. People I'm still friends with to this day weren't exactly pleasant to me early on in our relationship or vice versa, but we never "forgave" the infraction and we've all just moved on because the infraction in question was never done again which is something I personally care more about. I've actually had someone from High school see me years later and apologize for how they treated me. It was just all water under the bridge at that point. But what I think about how things are handled in media is not the same thing as real people. What might not be a big deal to one person might be a big deal for someone else. Again bully redemption is something to be done with care and more often just excuses abuse which is gross. But I've seen it done right, but I wouldn't exactly call it commonplace. - Cat
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wh0refornikolailantsov · 2 years ago
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Better Late Than Never - Nikolai Lantsov
Summary: Nikolai returns to unexpected events regarding his brother and his childhood best friend.
Content Warnings: Vasily. No Beta/Proof Reading.
So I figured I posted 10 Tolya ones, I'm going to post one for my husband, the love of my life, the man of my dreams, by darling bastard prince, Nikolai.
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He hadn't changed. Not in the years he had been away. Nikolai still looked exactly the same. The same clever persona that he wore around those he built it for. The same balanced tone he had practiced for years before perfecting. That same damned smile that was far too mischievous to exist in this surrounding, these rooms filled with important people who barely knew how to do anything that mattered.
You had almost hoped that he would've changed, or he would've been different to what you remembered him being, because seeing him like this, the same as you remembered him, was the hardest thing you'd ever had to do. Your Nikolai, late to the party, in more ways than one.
Vasily was so quick to pull you over to greet him, all laughter and welcomes, you didn't get a chance to speak. Nikolai stared at you as his brother spoke, you guessed it was to do with the unnecessarily extravagant attire you were wearing which was very out of character, or why you were within any distance of Vasily by choice.
"Brother, I am guessing no one has told you the good news," Vasily's tone was joyful but in a calculated type of way that made Nikolai very nervous. He couldn't understand what you were doing here, he was glad to see you, but you had only ever been on the grounds because he had asked you to be, you had often said these walls felt too high and you felt trapped into a life you didn't need reminders of. So why were you here?
"We are short on good news these days, so please go ahead," Nikolai said trying to keep his eyes on his brother, stop them wandering back to you.
"Well, I am betrothed," Vasily gleamed, his gaze turned back to you and Nikolai suddenly understood with blinding clarity exactly why his brother was being so chipper. "Or should I say we we are betrothed?"
Nikolai didn't hear much of what Vasily has to say after that, he just gives small nods as his brother talks a while more, eyes continuously darted to you, trying to read the situation, you tried to avoid his gaze. You had missed Nikolai dearly, and in his absence so many things had spun out of control, you had done nothing but wish for his return, but now he had it filled you with a strange uncertainty, a fear you didn't recognize.
Finally Vasily was pulled away by a member of the court and for the first time, you were left alone with Nikolai. "I missed you Kolya," were the first words you could muster.
"He proposed," Nikolai met you with and you frowned. No niceties and cat and mouse with Nikolai, then again you shouldnt have been suprised, it was always like that with him. The Puppy Prince never expected you to play games with him, or so you'd always thought. But all his time away, you'd forgotten what such directness felt like. It would've been a relief, had the topic not been one of such burden.
"I wouldn't say proposed as such," you said lowering your voice, "it was more of a demand than a question."
"And you said yes?" Nikolai asked.
"I said nothing, I thought that be the safer option, safer than explaining how I dare turn down a prince," you explained.
"You'd be surprised how easily that comes to some," Nikolai gave you a grin, the type you remember from the years of back and forth with him, and for a moment you can forget where you are, and why, you can even forget the reason you're talking. But only for a moment.
"He took my silence as a yes, and I'm in no position to correct him," you raised your arms gently in a gesture to the whole room, "so here I am." The displeasure behind your perfectly practiced demeanour was clear to Nikolai now, as it always had been in all the years passed.
"This is not what you want," Nikolai said as if it could be a revelation of any kind and not some natural statement of fact.
"No Nikolai," you teased your voice dripping with the sarcasm that Nikolai himself was so fluent in, "I dream of nothing more than to be married to your boorish, pigheaded, wanton brother who sees me as not an equal or a companion or even a bride but as a simple toy to steal away from you. Please, let me be married faster."
In all their years of friendship, Vasily had envied Nikolai and you, the one thing that Vasily could not easily take and make his own. "Careful, love, that sounds treasonous," Nikolai says, the laughter in his voice but you sense the parts of him missing. The parts filled with concern for you.
"Please, charge me, and then I can be free of him, if only in death," you smiled, so forced, and Nikolai let the facade slip.
"You are truly so unhappy?" Nikolai asked.
"Can you imagine a world in which being with your brother could make me anything less than miserable?" You asked.
"I'm sorry," Nikolai managed, truly at a loss for what to do. "I know you never intended to marry."
This acknowledgement suprised you, not least of all because it wasn't true. "What do you mean?"
"Just that you had never once seemed interested in those who wished to court you, and if I remember there were plenty," Nikolai tried to brush it off but there was something else in his voice when he spoke. Jealousy?
"That had nothing to do with my desire to marry," you stated. "I wished to marry Nikolai. I wish still to marry. I just never was asked by someone whom I would want to be my husband. The men I would wish to marry, seemed to never care to ask."
Vasily beckoned you with a hand, and you sighed deep, knowing your limited time without him was quickly ending. But something you said struck Nikolai and you could see it on his face. You were marrying Vasily, and Nikolai would likely be returning to wherever he came from soon enough, and it would likely be another five years or so before you saw him again, if the war ever ended and the Darkling didn't slaughter you all. But maybe, being engaged to the prince was enough to make you hope for that outcome, a short marriage and impending death. The thought brought a chuckle to your lips even if it never made it out of your mouth.
What could go worse now? What damage was their truly left to do, so before you depart to your fiance across the room, you turn to Nikolai to speak again. "I had dreamt of becoming a Lantsov for a very long time, Kolya," you admitted to him, "but I never once as much as entertained the thought I could be marrying your brother."
Nikolai is left in what you might believe to be the only moment you've found him without words to say as you made your way to return to your husband-to-be's side.
Nikolai watched you go, beyond lost. In all these years, he had assumed all your back and forth, all the flirtation, it was a pastime for you. That you wore charm like he did, as an armour. He had always believed your fluttered eyelashes and your gentle dalliance and teasing were not based in anything real. He had dared not to think of it, because as much as a prince may get used to hearing 'yes.' He was only the second prince, and a bastard at that if the rumours were to be believed. Anything he could want his brother could easily take from him, and would. So he had never let himself wonder. If your feelings had been genuine he wanted them to be for him and not his title or his lineage or his prospects. And they had. They always had and he had not seen it.
And now Vasily had done what Nikolai had feared regardless, seeing through the forest and the trees to what was so obvious that he had not considered it.
You.
You who now stood, unable to alter your position and overwhelmingly desperate to be anywhere but where you are, besides his brother.
There is nothing in that moment Nikolai would not do to fix it.
He must fix it.
Update: Part 2
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thebadboyfanclub · 1 year ago
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I Will Wait (Aemond x Reader)
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This version of the song was the only I was able to finish and truly get in the spirit of combining the requests, hopefully you get the vibe of the whole slow burn and growing to trust type of hype and you don’t find my skill to turn a bit rusty, thank you for being patient. Also one of the requests was from @blue-serendipity I hope you like it and didn’t let you down
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The house Whent was relatively new in comparison to others, yet their correlation to house Strong kept them in a comfortable situation and helped them become a noble house, they resided in one of the biggest castles of Harrenhall, the walls of it were gigantic and most of the people in it considered themselves safe from all harm.
That is until Aemond Targaryen went mad, fire surrounded the city and all one could hear was the screams of agony of any man, woman, or child that was running for their lives, Aemond upon his fury had ignored the yellow flag with the nine bats as he broke into the castle and commanded for everyone to be killed, from the corner of his eye he saw two figures sprinting across the hall, instinctively he ran after them, it was a woman with auburn hair and a child.
“Stop”
He commanded, his voice booming through the castle, surprisingly the woman came to a halt in a few seconds he caught up to them though the woman still had her back turned to him.
“Turn”
The woman spun on her heel only to reveal something Aemond had given a battle to forget, the eyes that used to haunt his prepubescent mind, she looked the same except for the height and her figure, the same high cheekbones, same silk hair, same fire holding eyes the only difference was that those captivating hues were overflowing with tears, her lips pushed to a thin line and her chin quivered ever so slightly.
All the memories passed by his brain one after the other, how she helped him practice Valyrian, the first ride he ever took her on dragon back, her soft touch against his wound as she assisted with a balm the maesters had suggested would be helpful even though nothing could come close to how nurturing her grace was for his soul.
“(Y/n)?”
“Please, not my boy”
Her voice trembling and barely audible amongst the distant screams and curses, Aemond's gaze shifted from her to the young little man who was clinging onto her for dear life, he had her hair and her ever-defiant love if he was the only thing she could think about.
“I would not-“
He stopped himself from saying the rest, he had invaded her home, he had just passed dead bodies that were probably people she greeted every day, he had already caused her pain, and to say he wouldn’t hurt her was only going to be foolish.
“He is your son?”
“Yes, please my prince, let me escort him anywhere, I will not run… he is only 4”
“Prince Aemond!”
The guard interrupted, suddenly his face from a soft and confused expression switched to a coldness similar to the harshness of the winter's ice that they used to skate over the river when they were children, (y/n) clenched her boy's hand and prepared herself for the worst.
“Take them, they are our hostages, don’t kill them”
“No! Please! Let him be!”
“Mother!”
His yelling brought a certain uneasiness to Aemond, the scene that was unfolding in front of him was almost cruel, Aemond brushed it off as him being gracious, it was either that or instant death, a dungeon was better than an abstract result that is the strangers shadow.
Aemond instructed the guards to put the boy with his mother in one of the chambers that were previously occupied by the servants, locked of course, he figured it would be easier for her to consult her offspring if he had a bed to sleep on, even if it was uncomfortable.
(Y/n) had her entire life crumble beneath her feet in a matter of days, she had recently suffered through the death of the father of her child and now she was captured with her precious boy in a room, no clue of what could happen next, the uncertainty struck her airway though she did her best to cloak it with a smile and fairytales that helped the young boy drift into slumber, countless nights were spend with her head against her window, everything inside her screaming at her to break it, a side of her wanted to jump off but how could she leave her beloved boy behind.
Then came the question, why was he doing this? Why keep her? Was he merciful or was there a motive, Perhaps this was a scheme to gain power, but how?
“Has he fallen asleep?”
(Y/n) gasped at the sudden voice, Aemond had walked in for the first time in the room, partially he had stayed away at a loss for words, what was there to say? He had brought her here against her will and now what?
(Y/n) took her eyes off the floor and fixated them on his, he wasn’t wearing his eyepatch, it brought her a sense of familiarity to see the amethyst that decorated his lost eye, he used to take the eye patch off for most of the time they had spent together, (y/n) never asked why though she had been curious about it many times.
Aemond was grateful for her district nature, truthfully the act was his way of saying he trusted her, she never cringed or showed any type of emotion at the sight of his scar, quite the contrary she had been his only source of light, she had been the one to choose the amethyst “I think it will suit you” she had said with a smile and as passing as choosing a gown, (y/n) helped him view his mutilation as just a little mishap.
“Prince Aemond”
She spoke before she curtsied deeply, Aemond had to admit she was almost perfect at keeping her composure until someone gazed at her trembling hands, her voice was audible yet hushed in order to not wake the boy.
Silence fell between them, Aemond shifted from one foot to the other his mind scavenging on what he could do or how should he speak to her. She always made him nervous but not like this.
“What is his name?”
“Arthur”
“Your fathers' name”
“My father passed right before Arthur was born, I wanted to honor him, my husband was considerate enough to allow it”
“Generous of him wasn’t it?”
“It is not a matter to jest about”
That tongue of hers, “You have fire in you, daughter, you must master it or you will get burned” her father would always advise her, she had done her best to keep herself in a certain light still no one could prepare her for this type of scenario, it was similar to walking on a tight rope and this was her stumble.
Luckily, Aemond found it rather amusing, her little hiss brought a very toned-down giggle from the prince who kept his hands intertwined with one another in front of him, she was always smart and always had something to say no matter how much trouble it could have brought her.
“There you are, I was wondering if I had managed to just find someone that looked like you”
“You find this the right time to be sarcastic?”
“If we are fair there is no right time for that, especially not when the one that holds the keys to your room is talking to you”
“You are threatening me? That’s low Aemond”
“What else am I to do?”
“Free me, let us go Aemond and I swear we won't retaliate”
“I know you (y/n), you are not the one that will sit aside”
“So what’s your plan then? Keep me here forever?”
“In a way, yes, not how you picture it though”
“I do not picture anything, Aemond, please, let Arthur go, he doesn’t deserve this”
Aemond admired her selfless act of desperation, she wasn’t interested in negotiating her freedom, although when it came to her son she had no problem begging and pleading.
If he was honest he had to admit how much he had missed the sound of his name rolling off her tongue. Aemond had never put much thought into how his name sounded until it came from her lips, so elegant, smooth like honey, it was spoken like the best of compliments, even if it was just his name to him it brought goosebumps.
“Your son is safer in the red keep, one wrong move outside these walls could cost him his life”
“I would protect him”
“I know you would, who will protect you dear? Your husband has passed, you are on your own”
“I can do it”
Aemond took one step back, bathed by candlelight yet her spirit burned brighter than any type of candle, the way she raised her chin and squinted her eyes with perseverance, stubbornness ran through her veins.
“I know it is hard to understand my dear (y/n) but this is how I am protecting you, you know better than to step out alone with your son, they will eat you alive”
“Who’s they? Your supporters? Princess Rhaenyras supporters? This war was caused by your family and now I am doomed to this-“
“You are not doomed, I saved you, think (y/n), everyone knows that the lady of Harrenhall is now a widow, how long did you envision that it would take until men tried to jump over the walls or even worse, force you to remarry?”
“My son is the lord of Harrenhall, no one would dare-“
“You are foolish or way too optimistic and I don’t know which is worst”
“So what do you suggest? That I sit under your watch until when? Until I die?”
“No, I would never imprison you for your entire life”
Aemond was forcing himself into silence, his head ached from the torment that he had created for himself, wrapped under the iron spell of doubt, still when he gazed into those eyes, oh how he had missed her, her scent was enough to drive him into insanity, when he brought them to the castle his mother went wild, it was something she had thought about and now Aemond was willing to risk it all for (y/n).
“Accept Aegon as your king, declare that Harrenhall has fallen”
“It already has, last thing I saw was that you have turned my home into ash”
“And marry me”
(Y/n)s eyes grew wide at his audacity, how could he utter such a thing? He had invaded her home, taken her without her will, and her knees buckled after what he said,. Aemond's instinct was to catch her gently and wrap his arms around her, he felt her flesh grace his as her hands went over his to further support herself, slowly he sat her to the floor without ever leaving her from his grasp.
“Have you eaten today?”
“Yes, though your guards have not been generous”
“That is my fault, I did not inform them to feed you like guests”
“Cause we are not”
“You are, I- I- it sounds insane when I say I could have killed you, I did not, when I realized that it was you I just- I remembered the moments we shared”
“We had a few good moments I suppose”
“Remember the dance?”
“You had two left feet and you were so nervous”
It was a celebration, it was King Viserys name day and everyone that mattered was there, including house Whent, she looked splendid in that purple dress, she always favored the darker colors it was no surprise she chose such a thing, Aemond had stumbled over his words when it was time to ask her if she wished to dance, to make matters worst he tripped over his feet from being distracted by her smile.
They hadn’t exchanged a word during the entire time the dance lasted, their eyes spoke the same word as neither of them looked away, a string had been wrapped around their hearts and almost forced them to come together.
If there was anytime Aemond believed in fate it was when he met her, he was infatuated by everything about her, her laugh, her voice, her hair, the way she walked with her head high, how she liked to grace her fingers over the arm of a chair before she sat down, her weakness for peaches, even her fear of thunder he had found extremely adorable.
“Why did you marry him?”
“It was my father's wish”
“Did you love him?”
“He was kind and generous, he let me be after I did my duty and he was respectful, I… liked him and of course was grateful for his warm-hearted nature”
“I would have given you more, I can give you more, I can give you everything”
“You are a prince, I am not of your status”
“You are the lady of your town, you are a lady, even if you weren’t it wouldn’t matter, as long as I get to hold you”
“Aemond let us not speak of this, it is not the time nor the place”
“Fair enough, I shall leave you be my dear”
Aemond left a sweet kiss at the top of her hair while he sneakily took a nice whiff from her hair, it was the same sensation as stealing sweets from the baker before supper, sweet and the result made it worth it.
As he rose from the floor (y/n) stayed seated, contemplating what to do, the world was on her shoulders and she was shoved into walking on a rope, she always had a soft spot for Aemond, he had been the reason her adolescent heart beat erratically, if she could just turn back time perhaps everything could have been different.
“I will not pressure you into anything, I simply want to keep you safe and I even hope to make you happy one day, you shall be escorted into a different chamber on the morrow, this is not a proper home for you”
“Home, funny word”
Aemond pursed his lips at her remark, she was bitter and had every right to be however there was a part of him that yearned for her good graces, some would call him impatient if they saw how eager he was to earn a smile or a kind word off of her.
“We have plenty of time, I will wait, as long as you need my dear”
“I shall bid you goodnight, my prince”
“Sleep well, another day awaits you”
Requests are open!
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azsazz · 5 months ago
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💐 Dad!Az anon!!
Putting your message here so i can add a read more, but like i said earlier i don't have any words 😭😭 this is def one of the best asks ive ever gotten before and i'm so so so glad you love dad az as much as I do!!
ugh, i love and miss the babies so so much. and i love you too because this message made me feel so many things that i'm still blushing from reading this!!
yes, the kiddies will someday be developed as my OC's...i have plans :)))) 💙💙
Hi Kiers! I have returned, alas, and I have come with me and my complete brainrot. (I am crazy) Without further ado, here is everything I have to say about Daddy!Az and the rest of the Legion. Some might be complete brain rot, while the others fall in the middle or are actually (somewhat) legible literary analyses! just so you know, this is really long. i tried adding a read more button but I don't know if that's available for asks? i distinctly remember it being available... but it is what it is😔
One More: 🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦 SOME MIGHT SAY FIRST IS THE WORST BUT THIS FIRST ONESHOT TO START US OFF?? NOT THE WORST. FAR FROM IT, ACTUALLY. I don’t know if people say it enough, but I adore how you write smut. I have one emotion: 🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦
Family Dynamic: First, I love how your first thought was to go “Oh hell yeah! Daddy!Az! I should make a story about the birthorder of the children!” GOLDEN. your brain has veins with gold flowing through them. COMPLETELY and utterly ASTONISHING how they just come one after the other it’s hilarious?? im reeling😭 AND IRS SO CUTE HOW YOU INCLUDE LIKE LITTLE EXCERPTS OF DOMESTIC LIFE ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT’S SO ADORABLE. what gets me most, however, is the last few paragraphs. It’s like, it completely encompasses the reader’s (our) content and it’s so accurate and beautifully worded I can’t help but commend you for it. Plus, Cassian’s immediate “Oh No” gets me everytime😭😭
Keep Me Satisfied: “Going to fuck so many into you, love. A whole litter, I promise.” GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. 🫦 i literally HAVE NO WORDS?? I have no words! I literally have NO words besides the sentence “i HAVE NO WORDS”?? GOT ME FUCKED UP, GOT ME FUCKED OUT, GOT ME FUCKED???? HELLO??? HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU THE WAY YOU WRITE SPICE IS LIKE OTHERWORLDLY TYPE OF IMPRESSIVE?
Hush Little Baby: This is like throwing the first ever blanket I had as a baby straight at me. It’s so familiar, and warm, and It makes me nostalgic because I was once a baby too (weren’t we all?), and I had the same wide eyes Azriel observed in his own babe. This oneshot makes me so happy, & I can’t fully articulate it
Here’s To Tradition Kiers give us a goddamn break or a glass of water to wash down the sugar challenge FAILED MISERABLY i look at nyx, giddy, and wren and all i want to do is CRY and HOLD THEM. I CAN’T EVEN LIKE… I DON’t KNOW HOW TO….ARTICUATE…I WANT TO HOLD. they’re like so little:(((( and im :((( i :((
You Too: I love your writing so much. need I say more. if I do then uhh err rhow do I get my thoughts out what if I just sscream in text AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Can’t You See?: IM CRYINGGGG WREN:( he’s such a sweet, sweet boy and when i first started reading this series i was really excited to see how he’d grow up and it’s just. wow. seeing him so happy makes me so happy. your writing makes me so happy “The little boy even tries to show off his own shadows, “Just like my daddy’s!” He sees both Rhys and Cassian watching with their own fond smiles, silently agreeing with every loving word pouring from the little boy's mouth.” PAUSE. I NEED TO CRY
Concord: I really like how you emphasize the bat babies innocence here. Unlike their fathers, from what I remember because I find it truly hard to focus when i read and like to listen to audiobooks as an alternative, the bat babies have a more stable childhood. theyre surrounded by safe environments, and they see that their parents have these funky little markings on parts of their body and they want to have that too. they hear stories of promises and the like and they want that too. they want what the inner circle have and so they try to ensure they get it and it BACKFIRES ON THEM THEYRE SO:( I feel😞 and WRENNIE ASKING IF NYXIE AND GIDDY CAN STAY FOR SUPPER ?!!!!! I CRY.
come back: 😞😞😞i 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞love😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞the😞😞😞😞😞😞familyness😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞icryicryicry😞😞😞😞😞😞
Burning Man: Hi! You wound me with your writing sometimes. The utter devastation I feel whenever you write angst is inexplicable! There is truly nothing like it! I did like the comfort right after though. Dad!Az you are my roman empire😞
Promise: GET THE FUCK OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT I AM GOING TO CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IM SORRU ITS JUST SOMETIMES WHENEVER YOU WRITE ABT THE BABIES THEY’RE LIKE SO WONDERFULLY PORTRAYED.. l CRY I CRY I CRY ITS TAKING EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO HOLD BAZ RN
Summer Daze: I love how you give us a little peek into Mama’s relationship with the other women, Nes in particular!! i love Nes and i hold her close to my heart so this little peek made me really happy. Especially at how cute her relationship with Cas is, even if its just brushed over:((( its so cute!!!!!! And Azzy kissing Mama’s belly:( that’s so sweet and tender
Two is Better than one: I. LOVE SCENES LIKE THIS. Where a character is thanking and worshipping the person that’s giving them children, blessing them with new life—an extension of love and care; it’s just so intimate and i treasure it and you write it so well it near kills me to stop reading😭 I really really like that addition:(
Taciturn: Punchign wall.😭☹️☹️😭😞☹️😞☹️☹️😭☹️😞☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞 baz they will never make me hate u “How come knoxie doesnt cry like Malos does” HELPPPPPP☹️☹️☹️☹️ “Its okay mommy, i’ll talk for him!” can we get more baz n knox pls. pls. thats truly so sweet.
In the House love built: the way you write smut is so intimate sometimes, and it’s so loving and you encapsulate the bond between mates so well. you’re truly worthy of all the attention you’ve received on this platform
The Calm Beneath The Storm: ☹️ pleaaaase i love how the childrens bonds are so evident and well written too and i just.i just cant properly sayhow much comfort i find in series like this and i cant properly say how much comfort i find in writing like yours ure so good kiers omf
Cuddle Me In: Jax is like living tylenol in a baby im not joking . he fixes ALL my headaches. hes so adorbsicles no one speak to me at all i cry i cry i cry☹️😞☹️😞☹️ punchign. wall
The Rowdy Bunch: Azriel really knows how to man up huh god he’s so fine in rhis one miss kiers u made him sso fine
The HoneyCrisp Grove: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ARE YOU KIDDING ME THATS SO ADORABLE
Winter Wind: I just think it’s REALLY funny that you deliver honeycrisp grove and suddenly i get hit in the face with 💥BOOM ZUZU CRYING SO HARD HER VOICE IS HOARSE 💥BOOM MAMA GETTING STABBED BY A DISTANT RELATIVE 💥BOOM “help me” WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. do u drink your readers TEARS for breakfast (this is my way of saying this story is well written and perfect)
Sticking Together: UGHH THIS IS SO:((( I WOULD LOVE FOR AN EXTENSION ON THIS!! like just seeing the #boys and their journey throughout windhaven would be so sad but also such an exciting read?? I hope we get to see how their bond grew because of it, or how it was maintained:(( i really like this story!!
Snatched: Complete rollercoaster of emotions btw. A bunch of ups and downs and round and rounds and i came out dizzy and dazed and possibly bleeding internally. W Eris I love him in this you portray him so well🙏🙏 And also once again. BAZ AND KNOX. GOD. MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH WITH WARMTH.
No tricks, Just Treats: little knox is so precious to me. like he’s just so sweet. and also i remember you mentioning in the batbabies doc that wren, gideon, and nyx had the same dynamic as rhys, cas, and az so thejr costumes are a pretty good touch:D this is the perfect amount of fluff
In Ribbons:
“Baby, baby,” he begs, raising up as far as he can, voice lined with desperation and hazel eyes wide, “I didn’t mean to–” 🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦 HELLO
Unwrapped: “Zuzu and Jax must be on waking you and your mate duty as they’re already climbing up into your bed. Your oldest daughter, ever the determined one, uses all of her strength to pull herself up onto the plush bed, only slipping once.” ZUZU GET BEHIND ME ILL PROTECT YOU 🤺🤺🤺🤺 HUZZAH shes so cute . i love zuzu so much, shes such a sweetie:(( your stories are like huge rollercoasters tbh one moment az is wrapped in ribbons and then the next the kids are fighting over presents and im here for it!! AND ALSO JAX AND AMREN & jax and rhys mention wow. god i love them i love how you put in effort to establish dynamics not only between the family but between the extended family too!?!
Into The New: I LOVE ZUZ SOOSOSOSMUCH:( she triggers fond memories of my own childhood. The way more of her dynamic with the orher members of the inner circle is expanded on in this story is so so sweet. I LOVE scenes where young characters see love blossom between people and KNOW that its love and WANT it but also at the same time i recall seeing an ask where you mentioned if Zuzu ever had a mate she’d think of herself as unworthy which … which is making me connect dots🙏 im trying to connect dots here cuz I SEE THE VISION but im trying to see the TRUE EXTENT OF THE VISION
Here for You: the Zuzu Rules Shirts?? I love Uncle Rhys😭 he’s so real for that tho. toss me one and watch me wear it with pride ??? i love the little things you add into your stories thatninclude the dynamic between characters:(( and also Zuz here being so happy and fulfilled makes ME happy and fulfilled. shes MY BABY.
Between Me & You: “This one’s for all the Jax girlies” ME🙌 JAX IS MY BOY🙏🙏 but also Baz calling Jax “J” is so corny and brother-core!!! (i dunno how else to describe it but i love it) also Bryaxis and Jax⁉️ FRIENDSHIP⁉️🙏 IM ALL FOR IT and i love how we see remnants of Jax’s journey into being able to control his power:((( i hope we get to see more of him (and Knox and baz . i love knox and baz)sometime!
The SafeGuard: IM TELLING YOU IM CONNECTING THE DOTS⁉️🙏 read:. im tripping over protective father azriel and giggling like a complete fool
Warrior Status: I. LOVE. WHEN. YOU. WRITE. SCENES. LIKE. THIS. ITS SO… IRHFJDJD LIKE WHEN YOU GO MORE IN DEPTH INTO THE LORE AND HOW NEW GEN IS HANDLING THE BLOOD RITE AND HOW THEIR PARENTS TRAIN THEM FOR IT IS MAKING ME HRISIDOOD ITS MAKING ME SO HAPPY but also wow. wow um the tension here is real. i always expect a rollercoaster of emotions whenever i read your writing and yet im blown away every time. i love baz, he seems to be capable of more than even he knows, and i hineslty hope theres more content so we cannall see how he’s faring:)
About Last Night:
“If we get caught,” Gideon defends, before adding as an afterthought, eyebrows furrowed, “And she’s not my girlfriend.” LOUDDDD INCORRECT BUZZER❌❌❌❌❌ W W W WRONGGGGG WRONG. EVERYONE KNOWS‼️ i love how giddy is the one who suggests going to autumn primarily to see his girl. it’s very cassian core to me as much as cassian himself disapproves😭 and KNOX’S LITTLE ‘im sorry’ PLEAAASEE THATS SO FUNNY
Torrential: This was actually the first story I read about the batbabies:) I was like, “oh my gosh who is Knox? I didn’t know there was a book out for next gen………… “ i was like genuinely so confuzzled. and this was like a few weeks ago. i didnt even know rhat Knox was an oc but I had, and still have a raging crush on him😞 I truly hope that you take the next gen and turn them into full fledged original characters of yours, i’d love to see them developed to their full extent especially with the teaser i get in this fic. like hello? Knox? River Keeper?? Okay I see you!! THE WAY YOU PORTRAY KNOX HERE UGHHHHHHHHHH HE’S SO LIKE UGHHHHHHHHHH UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH😡😡😡 (positive)
“His lips pull high into a wicked smile. One side curls higher than the other and it’s the first imperfect thing you’ve noticed about him, yet it still makes your breath hitch.” woo that got me. that got me good. you’re excellent
Our Souls Are Stars & Mine Is Forever Yours: kiers your BEAUTIFUL BRAIN is BRAINING again. this is my favorite scoop of content for the batbabies. Maude & Giddy are truly so adorable, and you really did a good job at sparking chemistry between them both. Maude trying to calm Gideon down, Gideon leading Maude to the famous balcony I CRY. I WEEP. HEAD IN HANDS. I WAILLLL I WAIL IN JOY IM SO? YOURE SO GOOD AT WRITING KIERS HOLY FUCK?!?! YOU NEVER FAIL TO IMPRESS ME
to my heart: ouuuuu… okay i see you kiers….i love this oneshot, it’s like really sweet but in a quiet subtle way and i love it when oneshots are like that. Knox’s banter with Malos, knox waiting for a reply… Kiers genuinely bless your heart
Undercover: Jax, Knox, Baz. you will always be the number one’s of my heart. NOW THAT THAT IS DISCLOSED CAN I PLEASE SAY I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE CHARACTERS PINING. LIKE JAX THIS WHOLE ONESHOT IS JUST “grrrrrrrrrrrrr dont you notice me?? 😡😡” and “wait nevermind its not time yet☹️😞☹️” at the last second and hes just so cute in this oneshot but i feel so bad for him (can we get the batbabies dapping eachother up to commemorate the jax and knox interaction in this fic yall!?!)
Jax uses his powers at a party: Heehehehhehehehehehehhehehehe wowwwwwwwwwwww hes like protecting her from afar heheheheh i giggled
Jax finds out Knox’s mating bond has been found out: I LOVE THE CALL BACK TO THIS IN UNDERCOVER. I want to see how the whole family reacts to Knox’s mating bond in the future, hopefully!! It’d definitely be very chaotic, especially if it’s the whole family!!
Bryaxis calls Jax a friend: “There's this boy at my school. His name is Montauk. He always gives me trouble, pushing and shoving me, calling me names…" Jax trails off, his tiny hands clenching into fists, "But I've felt his true emotions, and he's just a sad, scared little boy too."” :((( the “too” at the end im inconsolable. I want to hold each and every one of your next gen characters. pls.
Uncle Cassian’s reaction to finding out Jax wants to be friends with Bryaxis: Cassian is my spirit animal. and i LOVE the way you portray him 😭 he’s so funny i feel like he’d bark if I told him he was my spirit animal
What if Zuzu had gotten her wings clipped at the Steppes? I CRY I CRY I CRY I CRY. UGHHH how you detail Azriel’s devastation and at the same time Zuzu’s acceptance TEARS THROUGH ME. Zuzu is such a strong character and theres nothing to thank for that other than your immaculate writing skills
Zuzu Gets a Cat but it loves Azriel the Most + Wren, Baz, and Zuzu work together to try and convince their parents to get a second cat: I wholeheartedly believe wren, baz, and zuzu were probably nicknamed the triple trouble primarlt because of their tendency to pull shit like this and i LOVE it its so funny. I love your writing sm
I don’t know if you can tell, but I have an actually very secure AND VERY!! NORMAL attachment to this series. And I don’t have anyone to thank but you for writing it and writing it so beautifully; you truly have a gift and I know that it will get you a bunch of amazing opportunities in the future, or even now. I can feel how much work and effort goes into your writing, and the fact that you share it is an honor in itself and I’m so glad to have stumbled across your blog. You are an amazing writer. I look forward to reading more of your writing, not just for Daddy!Az—although I’d love for more of him—but even without him, I’d still love every piece of yours. I honestly hope the next gen characters become characters you take under your wing and develop, I would love to see more of them and they’re such interesting characters already. They’re so cool. You’re really cool too, Kiers!! I hope you don’t mind it took so long to get back to you, I was balancing cleaning my apartment and binging your writing:D I don’t regret anything. Reading your writing feels like a reward after every hard day. I hope to see more of you on my dash, Kiers!!! Keep writing, with your skills and your beautiful mind—it’ll no doubt help you in the long run. You’re really cool:)
xoxo,
-💐 (the one from about a week ago)
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chernabogs · 1 year ago
Note
if you're still taking requests, can you maybe do "You're lucky you're cute" with either Malleus or Sebek? (and reader) You can choose one of them and have fun!!
Thank youuuu this is just a glorified excuse for me to info dump about etiquette with Fae interactions LMAO (also I need to work more on my Sebek down the line... my boy...I will write him soon)
CAVEATS
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Inc: Malleus, GN!Reader (referred to as Prefect once) Warnings: None! Except the ominous undercurrent of danger through words at the amusement of a Fae WC: 2.5k! Excerpt: Truthfully, many of the things he’s saying are things humans should know—but the crevice between the sharing of information from Fae to humans means many of the modern humans don’t.  He’s granting you a one up by doing this—at his own entertainment. 
People find it hard to speak of things with him sometimes. Exulansis, Malleus learns it’s called. A resignation to stop talking about an experience because the other cannot relate. When the other House wardens speak of motor vehicles, of vacations, of the latest tech and similar topics he finds his mind turning in circles as he puzzles over what that experience is like. What is a vacation to the Tropical Isles like? What benefits does a magic-powered vehicle have over a gas-consuming one? 
Perhaps he has a face when they speak of this. A furrow in his brow, a darkening of his gaze. He doesn’t mean it in hostility—it’s all coming from a purely clinical stance. He’s tried so many times just to get his older flip phone model to work that he’s entirely given up comprehending what this ‘widget’ is, or the benefits of ‘bio-metrics’, which sounds like some poison you’d feed someone in his opinion. 
Maybe this is why he finds somewhat of a solace in your company at times like this. Even though you seem to know all about most of the things the others speak of, you’re still clueless about the magic aspects, and that gives him something of a purpose—explaining those to you. 
“What if you mix it?” 
You’re lying back on the stones of a cottage that once stood proudly in the forest surrounding Night Raven College. It’s since been reduced to nothing more but a few bits of the foundation and a lot of rotting wood. He raises an incredulous eyebrow at your words. 
“No, I would not recommend combining any fire magic with any form of wind magic. Most think it would just blow the fire out, but you are more apt to end up with an inferno than a resolution. Fire magic is measurably different from your flint and stick type, after all.” His gaze travels over your form as your expression shifts to one of intense thought. It reminds him of the one he wears when speaking with Shroud about his broke phone (again)—and it feels wonderful to be on the receiving end. 
“Grim and Ace did that once, you know. Combined Grims fire with wind magic Ace summoned. I probably should have thought of that before asking you.” You sit up with a groan and rub your face. “What about water magic, then?” 
“It depends on if the mage has used a sub-spell when summoning their fire spell. If a sub-spell was used with the intent of permitting the flames to burn more intensely, such as an oil or metal, then the water would simply feed the flames more. Hence why it’s quite important to pay attention to what your opponent’s actions are.” You remind him a little of Sebek and Silver when they were younger and just trying to master their own magic. You have the same curious disposition—and frustration about things just not being concise. 
You give him another look as you pick up the book you had tossed aside earlier. When he had invited you for a walk with him, he hadn’t anticipated it becoming a late-night study session. It was a refreshing experience, though—an opportunity for a ‘school-life’ moment that Lilia always pushed him to have. Midnight cramming. 
“When fighting someone, aren’t there a whole ton of other things to worry about beyond whether a sub-spell was used or not?” You sigh as you begin flipping through the pages. He notes that your writing gets rather chaotic at some points, and figures these are the things you’re picking his brain over. 
“Not every incidence of magic is for combat purposes. Why, in Briar Valley, magic is used for the most basic of tasks—such as cooking. That ties in with the fire information I just disclosed, no?” His lips quirk into the faintest of smiles. “It would be in poor taste if the cooks at the Palace were to mix magic with the wrong sub-spell by mistake.” 
“Have you ever barbecued something before? It’s practically combat.” 
Barbecue. Malleus remembers the first time he tried grilled meat, when he was younger, and Lilia had enough with the raw diet the prince had been kept on for the majority. The food had tasted like charred wood and from that point on Malleus had deliberately minimized his requests for it. “I am… not experienced at the barbecue, no.” 
“The barbecue.” You repeat, glancing at him with a smirk. “So, Briar Valley doesn’t have any fun cookouts? No throwing something on the BBQ and having a night of it?” 
“This is getting off topic.” He stands from where he was sitting on the foundation next to you and waves a hand. “Perhaps you should return to your dorm and study there. We can reconvene another time.”
Your expression shifts to surprise and you’re quick to protest his words. “No, no, I’d rather we stay. Besides, I’m not going to do anything if I go back, and you’re probably not going to do anything if you go back, so…”
“So?” He repeats with a raised eyebrow as a bright grin appears on your face. 
“Is it not better to do something together then nothing on our own?” 
Ah, you’re trying to work a strange sort of logic to your argument here. His arms cross over his chest as he looks from where you sit and out to the dark woods that surround you. It’s a quiet night, with a few fireflies flashing amongst the trees that loom like dark figures just beyond. Their towering presence ignites a sense of occhiolism that has him moving just a few steps closer to you.  
“Do you desire my company so much? All I’ve done is give you answers to your homework woes.” He gives a pointed look to the pen and book you have in hand as a flash of embarrassment crosses your face. You shift uncomfortably and close the book. 
“Well, I do want to say thank you for all that you’ve done so far…” You mumble. Your comment strikes a thought in his mind as he observes you a bit closer. “I guess I don’t really need to keep bugging you with questions.” 
“Did I ever imply it was a bother?” He moves through the grass to sit back down next to you. The lack of sound that his motions make would be unsettling to most, but your blindness to the unusual and the strange makes you seem entirely unaffected. “Do not read things that aren’t there.” 
“I… sorry?” He can see you struggling a little to navigate the right thing to say, and this brings a sense of amusement to him. Your confusion about this discussion may be mean on his part, but it’s only temporary. 
Malleus may not know much in terms of technology, or the best place for a vacation, or whether a gas-car is a better deal—but he does know magic. And he is feeling rather playful this evening as he watches your panicked gaze dart around his features. 
“Do your studies incorporate learning of magical beings, by chance?” He begins to lay the foundations for his plan as your shoulders relax at his question. You hum and flip around the book. 
“I mean, vaguely? There’s a bit about dwarves, and elves, and a very small paragraph on the Fae… but not much else.”
He clicks his tongue as his pale fingers reach out to touch the edges of the pages. “Oh, that won’t do. You can be forgiven for not understanding magical spells should you ever visit Briar Valley, but to not understand the Fae? You might find yourself in conflict.”
Then he makes his expression light up. “I would feel terrible should that happen, knowing I could prevent it, so I ask now—would you like to know more about my species?” 
It’s like dangling a forbidden fruit in front of a starving soul. He rarely shares anything about himself or his thoughts, even though you’ve both been attending these walks together for a few weeks now. You close the book again and nod, and that’s all he needs you to do. “Sure, thank you!” 
Your politeness is quaint—but he knows such an approach may not last once he begins talking. He smiles a little more, and it’s an expression to hide how eager he feels about this.
“To begin, you may find that while all of us have a degree of pride, some of us are more prideful than others. You are very generous with your thankfulness and apologetic responses, and although I appreciate the words and the acts as I know they come from a place of good intent… this is not the case for all my kind.” He hums thoughtfully. “In fact, some may think your thanks imply that they are subservient or—even worse—that you are now in debt to them.” 
He pauses and lets his words linger as they run through your mind. Your eyes widen slightly. “Subservient? I don’t want anyone thinking that whenever I just say thanks.” 
“I know that, and so does Lilia, but that’s because we’ve interacted with humans a great deal. Some Fae have very little interaction, and with that, hold very old beliefs. One should simply be… cautious. Express gratitude for what they have done, but do not say thanks.” 
Malleus feels his amusement grow as your expression becomes solemn at his words. He takes it as a sign to continue as he taps his nails against his thigh. 
Truthfully, many of the things he’s saying are things humans should know—but the crevice between the sharing of information from Fae to humans means many of the modern humans don’t. 
He’s granting you a one up by doing this—at his own entertainment. 
“We also value honesty immensely. Have I ever lied to you?” He asks, and when you shake your head with confidence, he chuckles. “No, and so I would hope that sentiment would be reciprocated. Lying or deliberately keeping information from me is something I don’t appreciate, but I will not curse you over it like some may.” 
“This makes me feel like I’m in politics instead of a conversation,” you mumble, resting your chin in your palm. He hums and nods. 
“In a sense, it is like politics. Be cautious of what you say, and if you don’t know what to say, say nothing at all. The same applies to accepting gifts—both obvious and not. Accept what you trust, but if you have a bad feeling, decline and simply do so in a way that is not apologetic.” 
“How do I know if something is being given as a gift?” There’s concern in your tone as you ask this. It makes Malleus smile wider—a sharp flash of white fangs in the dark—and he shrugs. 
“You don’t always. For example, you were quick to accept my offer of this information, even though this information itself is a gift. But we have a rapport; I trust you, as you trust me.” He stops tapping his thigh. “It’s the same for how willing you and the others have been at granting me and Lilia your names. There’s a great deal of magic tied into a person's name.”
Malleus notes that flash of unease in your gaze again as you grip your book a bit tighter. Perhaps this is unsettling to you. Perhaps the reminder of just how different the two of you are is throwing you into a perilous loop; you became comfortable enough with him that you began to see him as equal, and the reminder that you aren’t is jarring. 
 He doesn’t want to scare you too terribly, though. This isn’t what these lures of information were meant to do. It was meant to amuse him with your expressions and awe at these simple rules of etiquette, but also to guarantee your safety if—well, when—he asks you delicately to visit Briar Valley soon. Plus, you are the one consistent person outside of his close family who has bothered to hold extended conversations with him. 
“What can you do with my name?” You ask slowly. It’s a valid question. What can he do with your name?
“Oh, one can do many things with a name. Take it as their own, bend it out of shape, lock it in a box or toss it into the sea. A Fae can wipe it from your mind and put it in their pocket should they be so inclined. They can make you do whatever it is they please.” Not that many would anymore. Perhaps in the days when humans and Fae were at war the notoriety of name-theft was known throughout the Valley, but in these recent days of languid peace, name-theft is more apt to find the Fae imprisoned than anything else. 
“And will you?” You ask, catching him off guard for a moment. When he looks at you again, you look nervous as you stare back. “Take my name, or anyone else's?” 
Malleus blinks slowly as he processes your words. Ah… maybe this has gone too far now. He softens his expression and watches as this mirrors on your own. Then he warms his smile to grant some reassurance as he laughs softly. “Oh, no, no. You have my name as well—we are equal, in a sense. I don’t have power over you or anyone else in this school beyond what any other mage may hold.” 
You exhale slowly and relax your shoulders. His words have put you at ease and this pleases him before your expression takes a sharp turn into a scowl.
“Thanks for instilling all this paranoia in me. You know, when I finally visit you in Briar Valley, I’m going to be triple thinking everything that comes out of my mouth now.” 
“When?” He jumps on that word really quick as his expression shifts to one of smug delight. He didn’t even need to push the topic—you just dove headfirst into it yourself. He hears you clear your throat loudly as you yank open your book again. 
“Don’t. I’m going to write this all down in the margins before I forget,” you grumble as he chuckles softly again. 
“Ah, you’re lucky you’re cute, Prefect.” He hums as he returns his attention to the treeline beyond. The fireflies continue to lazily flash in the night, and the silence of the forest brings a sense of peace. There’s solace in your company—and he looks forward to experiencing it more in the future. 
So long as you don’t agitate another Fae. He can’t help you with everything. 
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