#like i was sliding towards keeping my hair a little longer in part because i am not immune to societal pressures unfortch.

[jacksoldsideblog]

I feel like a shorn sheep this is great

[lukesaprince]

Rich Part 21

Summary: Neighbour/Older!Harry. The truth is revealed and extenuating circumstances lead to y/n spilling the beans about her and Harry.

Warning: HELLA SMUT!! Daddy!kink, oral (f receiving), dirty talk (degradation and praise ofc), spanking, spitting kink, creampie, mentions of death (specifically a child) and grieving, poor mental health.

Word count: 17k+

Author's note: I recommend reading Part 20 before this one as it's a direct continuation! Part 22 already has 7k words written so I PROMISE you won't have to wait a month to read more of my babies. Enjoy 😚😚

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“Please… Daddy.”

“Good girl.”

His mouth slotted with yours like the final puzzle piece. Smooth and effortless, melting into you while his hand moved from your neck to grab onto your hair. He was simultaneously protecting your head from the door and tugging right at the root of your pretty hair. 

The sting had you whimpering into his mouth, hands through his hair and over his chest and just everywhere while you reached up on your tippy toes to kiss back harder. You quite liked feeling smaller than him and Harry loved being bigger than you. Taller than you. Pressing his full body weight into you until all you could feel was him. 

“I don’t… I don’t have much time.” You murmured into his mouth, gasping as the kiss broke and he let his mouth skirt over your jaw. You always did have a sensitive neck. It was a sweet spot for you and Harry knew that. At this point he had memorised all your erogenous zones and the little things he did that turned you on and considered himself an expert in how to take advantage of it. 

He was always learning new things about you. Every day he found new details about you and fell deeper in love because of it. 

“You do.” His smirk curled against your jaw and focused one hand on your hair to tug your head back while the other squeezed over your waist. 

“I really don’t. My parents will see my car and wonder where I am. They’d be offended I saw you before them.” 

“I think they’d be a little more than offended if they knew what you were doing here. Wouldn’t they, darling?” 

Your gasp got caught in your throat, muffled by a moan when he bared his teeth against your neck. His mouth cushioned lower, tracing over what felt like every single inch of your bare skin. 

“Probably.” You just hummed in response, letting your eyes flutter closed while you relaxed into the feeling of his soft, wet tongue over your neck. 

“What would they say if they knew you called me Daddy, hm? Bet your mother would faint, wouldn’t she? Her darling little y/n.” Harry pulled away so you could watch the way his lips wrapped around each syllable. He pressed his hand over your throat again, keeping you pinned there as he undid the bow of your sweatpants. “Come on, baby. Tell me what she’d say.” 

You didn’t think he’d want a response to that when it sounded so rhetorical. More like a tease than something he wanted you to respond back to. 

“I don’t know. I don’t even want to-” the words got stuck in your throat when you felt his nimble fingers slide along the waistband of your sweatpants. He smirked at your reaction, scanning every inch of your face while languidly stroking your lower belly. “-to think about it. It's mortifying.” 

His eye contact was making you want to pass the fuck out and when his fingers found the band of your underwear you nearly did. You had missed this. The cat and mouse game. The teasing. Though it usually took a lot longer than the time you had. 

“It’s not mortifying when you’re doing it, though. Is it, baby?” He cocked his head, maintaining eye contact as he started to trace over your underwear down towards your clit. You shook your head quickly, grabbing onto his forearms. 

“Words.” He warned. 

“No. No it isn’t.”

“Feels quite… good. Doesn’t it?” He pressed right over your clit, rubbing purposed circles. The friction of your underwear was driving you crazy. But you wanted more and you were a little conscious of the time. 

“You know it does.”

“I know.” He smirked, leaning in to kiss your neck again. “I make you feel good. Don’t I?”

The questions were making your head spin. “Yes… yes.”

The friction suddenly disappeared from your clit, but just as you were about to make a noise of disdain, his hands were hoisting your legs up around his waist and he was carrying you through the house to his dining room. He set you down on the edge of the table, reaching in to kiss you deeply just long enough to have you gasping and tugging at his hair.

The kiss broke and his mouth trailed down your neck again. You made a pretty little whimpering sound that had Harry smirking against your skin while he worked on removing your pants properly. 

“I love when you do that…” he groaned, nimble fingers sliding along the waistband of your sweats, tucking into them and your underwear at the same time before very easily pulling them down under your ass until they fell to your ankles. The cool air hit your clit instantly, sending a chill down your spine and the tension of your legs that only increased when Harry continued to talk dirty to you. “When you whimper all pretty for me… ‘s my favourite thing in the world. Never takes long either. Could just kiss you and you’d moan for me. Isn’t that right?” 

His question hung heavy in the hair but all you could focus on was the sight of him dropping to his knees before you to help guide your feet out of the bottom half of your clothing. 

“Uhuh.” You agreed haphazardly, sweeping your hand through his hair at the first touch of his lips against your knee. He kissed down your calf until that ankle was out of your pants then switched sides to do the other, this time kissing up from your ankle to your knee to the sensitive skin of your thigh.

“Why don’t I give you something proper to moan about, hm? Would you like that, pretty girl?” Harry let his lips brush against your skin while his hands ran up and down your legs, running his thumbs over your knees like he was about to pry your legs open and dive right in.

Every touch had you breathing heavier, already getting worked up just from a few little kisses. It didn’t help that you were already on edge from his earlier teasing and knowing that things would get a little rougher than usual only made you needier.

Sex always was a bit rougher when ‘daddy’ came into play. Harry took on the role in full force and took full control of the scene. He usually spanked you more, grabbed you more, fucked you harder. Fuck… you hoped he’d spit in your mouth too, maybe smack his ringed fingers over your clit. You could ask for it of course and he’d happily oblige (with a bit of teasing and degradation to accompany your request of course), but it was so much hotter when he just did it. When he owned you and treated you like a hole to use. 

“Yes.” You nodded eagerly, tugging his hair a little harder. He smirked and nipped at your thigh, grabbing your calves to pull you forward until your legs widened to fit him between them. Grabbing your face suddenly, he squeezed your cheeks roughly until you whined in pain. 

“Where are your manners, huh? I thought I taught you better than that.” He tutted, maintaining eye contact while he spit suddenly on the fingers on his other hand before reaching between your bodies to find your clit. Harry didn’t want to stop looking at your pretty eyes for a single second. The moment he found your clit he tapped against it roughly, making your back arch at the repeated sting of his fingers. His saliva only made it hurt more and yet you found yourself loving every second of it. 

“Shit.” You cursed, clutching onto his shoulders. The sting had your toes curling, knees dug into either side of his hips in an attempt to curb the ache. “Shit.”

“If you’re a good girl, y/n, you’ll get treated nicely. Don’t you know what happens if you’re not, hm?” He smirked, pressing his palm to your clit while sliding two fingers down through your labia. You were soaked, already dripping for him to do something. Anything. He circled his fingers over your entrance, pressing just enough to make that delicious whimper echo around his kitchen before he dragged them back up to your clit. “Or has it been that long since I put your attitude in check?”

Jesus fucking Christ. 

Harry repeated the same movements, torturously dragging up and down… up and down from your clit to your entrance without doing anything remotely close to satisfying. 

“‘M sorry. I’m sorry Daddy. I got… fuck” you cursed when he nudged over your clit again. It was just a game now, a sadistic little game to see how wet he could get you without actually giving much pleasure. “Excited.”

“Excited? Or selfish?” He cocked his head, grinding his palm to your clit while squeezing your face a little harder. “Being needy doesn’t give you an excuse to be ill mannered.”

“You’re right. I’m-I’m sorry. I’ll do anything. I’ll be good. I promise.” The words came out as a hushed whimper of strung together desperation. Harry was loving every second of it. 

“Yeah? You wanna be a good girl for me?”

“Yes. Please, Daddy.”

“Gonna let me do anything I want?”

“Anything. Anything.”

His cock stirred at the thought of being able to do anything to you. To have complete control over you. Of course, you truly had the power in the situation, but he loved that you chose to let him take the reigns. 

“Open your mouth.”

Harry slid his hand down to your jaw to give you space to move your mouth and as soon as you did, your lips parted just wide enough for him to spit right on your tongue. The sight was obscene. Your tongue sticking out to catch his saliva, his mark, his ownership. Your eyes were all glazed and pretty and you looked happy to take whatever he gave you. You were happy. 

He just couldn’t help himself, really. Couldn’t stop himself from getting a taste of your pretty mouth. It would’ve felt wrong not. You were his girl after all. His love. Kissing you was part of the job. 

Harry was quick to dart out and clasp his lips with yours, slipping his tongue into your mouth so he could rub his saliva over your tongue with his own. It was feral. Sloppy in the best way possible. He slid his tongue against yours, spreading his spit and the new saliva from your kiss everywhere.

You loved when he kissed you sloppy. When it was way too inappropriate for outside eyes. Something just for you. While his tongue told you exactly how he felt about you, he grabbed onto your hips and pulled you forward until you slid off the table, landing on your unsteady feet. 

“Take this off, yeah? Let me see how pretty you are.” He murmured, breaking the kiss just enough to speak while tugging upwards at the end of your t shirt.

You quickly obeyed and ripped your t shirt off, letting it land on the floor without care. You didn’t bother putting a bra on when you left Lucy’s, not when you were just going home and seeing Harry quickly - or at least you thought it would be quick - so you were left bare. Now you were grateful that you decided to do that, especially from the dark-eyed reaction you gained from your bare breasts being exposed to your lover.

“Fuck baby. Got the prettiest tits ever.” Harry cursed, palming over your exposed breasts while he connected your mouths again.

Your hands found home in his hair, reciprocating happily to his enthusiastic kissing. It was such a power imbalance being completely naked while he was still fully clothed. The anxious part of you hated it and felt so… small. Exposed. The bigger part of you, the one that got off on being submissive and degraded frothed over it. There was no feeling like his fully clothed body against your fully bare one, other than skin to skin contact of course.

That was your favourite.

“Driving me fucking crazy like this.” Harry murmured again, keeping one hand on your breast while the other trailed upwards to the little pearl necklace permanently fixtured on your neck. You only took it off to shower, otherwise it never left your body. You couldn’t bare to part from it because it was a constant reminder of Harry. Like he was always with you.

And you happened to love how possessive he became when his eyes landed on the little string of pearls. How they darkened ever so slightly. When you were in public it turned into a kiss or his hand squeezing your hand or waist, like it triggered some obsessive reaction. You weren’t sure if he caught onto the fact that the necklace somehow pavloved physical touch, but you did.

Sometimes you liked to draw attention to it on purpose to tease him, not that he knew he was being teased. When you were talking you might brush your hair away from your neck or fiddle with the pearls to draw his eyes there. It was fun. A game you were winning even if he didn’t know he was participating.

“And this…” He hooked his finger into the necklace, tugging it gently while simultaneously tugging at your bottom lip, releasing it with a pop. “You’ve got no idea how sexy you look with nothing on but this.”

“I never take it off…” You sighed.

“I know. I love you more for it.” He mused, nipping on your neck. “If that’s even possible.” Your head lulled back when he ran his hands down over your body again, landing on your hips where he quickly spun you around to face the table and pressed himself against you. “Love how soft you are too…” He complimented, pressing spongey kisses along your shoulder. 

You braced yourself against the table, letting yourself be pushed down flat against it by a gentle hand on the middle of your back.

“How you feel in my hands… my mouth…”

His mouth replaced his hand, trailing down until he was crouched behind you. God the sight of you was driving him crazy. 

Running his hands over your ass, he pressed a kiss to one of your cheeks, dragging his bottom lip against your skin as he released before kissing over to your other cheek. Then he spread you wide, eliciting a gasp when he spanked you and groaned at the way your skin rippled then spread you open again. 

“My tongue…” 

And then you felt it. His hot tongue met your clit, swiping through your labia right to your tight ring of muscles where he decided to focus his attention. Harry was aware you two didn’t have all the time in the world, but he just couldn’t compromise on his favourite thing. Tasting you. 

Your flavour, your scent, how wet you got. Like silky honey dripping down his throat and coating his lips. He was obsessed with it. Which is why he let himself a few moments of flicking his tongue against your ass before he moved down to one of his favourite parts of you. That pretty little clit. 

Your moans were like music to his ears. An array of whimpers and whines, pleaded whispers of his name and his honorific. There was nothing like hearing the moan of his name, even moreso when he was being your ‘Daddy’. You were much more pliant, more responsive. He wasn’t sure if it was your submission kicking in more than usual or because your kink was being stroked the entire time. 

Either way, he was reaping the benefits. 

You were so hot and sweet and were wiggling like a fucking worm in his grip. He had to hold onto your hips harder to keep you still, but that didn’t stop your clenching and trembling when he sucked particularly hard on your clit or fucked his tongue inside you. 

So fucking responsive.

“God, you taste so fucking sweet, baby. My favourite meal in the world.” He praised, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking a little rougher than usual just so you’d cry out for him.

“Please. Please.” You begged, forehead pressed against the table.

“What?” Harry mused, sliding his tongue toward your entrance and pressing it there. You clenched on impact and he could feel it at the tip of his tongue. All he could think about now was getting inside you. God, he was so hard. So painfully hard. 

“Need you. Please, Daddy. Need your cock so bad.” You begged clearly this time, needing to be filled more than anything. 

“Yeah? Need it bad, do you?” Harry stood up, kissing your cheek on the way up before he was ridding himself of his clothing. He was already hot and worked up and he knew that the moment his cock touched you he’d be sweating all over. Besides… he wanted to feel you. He wanted to press his chest into your back and feel your thighs against his.

He craved the intimacy of skin to skin like nothing else.

“Yes. Fuck. Yes.” You sighed, nearly screaming in relief when you felt the tip of his cock bump against your clit. 

“I’ll give it to you baby…” He soothed, dragging his tip through your folds to collect your wetness over his cock. “I’ve got you…” His tip pressed against your entrance and you swore you could’ve cried when he slowly pushed in. “Shit.”

“Fuck.”

He stretched you slowly, torturously, like he wanted you to feel every inch of his cock. Every vein and ridge and the way he got slowly wider at the base. It wasn’t something you’d feel when he was fucking you roughly, but God it was all you could feel now. The stretch, the ache, the way your knees buckled when his hand pressed into your lower back to keep you still.

And then the slow, tortuous teasing ended and without any warning he drew his hips back and slammed back into you in a way that had your lungs losing all their breath. His hands were firm on your hips, fingers dug tightly so there was this constant ache that seemed to reach its way straight to your soul. 

And you fucking loved it. Every bruising thrust, every snapping sound, the way Harry moaned and cursed, telling you exactly how much he liked it. He never was shy from making sounds of pleasure and it was one of the things that made sex with him so hot. 

“You’re so tight. Shit, baby. Always so fucking tight around me.”

“Oh God. Harry!” 

“Wrong name, sweetheart.” He reprimanded with a heavy spank on your ass, the snapping sound echoing throughout the room. “Say the right one. Say it.” 

“Daddy.” You moaned pathetically, earning another spank right on the other cheek. The sting was the most satisfying sort of burn, a pain that lingered and ached but only made everything so much better. It fuelled your pleasure, contributing to the orgasm you had been waiting for twice now. 

It didn’t take long to reach it. Not when he had already teased you with his mouth and fingers and now was fucking you so damn good you could barely breathe. Harry didn’t stop once you rode through your orgasm, no, he took it as an opportunity to give you barely ten seconds of rest and flip you around so you were lying flat on the table. He was nestled back in you before you knew it, in a single fluid thrust that had you crying out from sheer sensitivity. 

He didn’t seem to care, or he did but just liked to see the way the tears streamed down your face. And you were okay. He knew you were okay because he checked in with you in that ten seconds of rest, making sure you were green before he flipped you over to fuck you how he wanted. 

And fuck. This was how he wanted you. 

“You just take it so fucking well, don’t you sweetheart? Always squeeze around my cock so tight.” Harry uttered through gritted teeth, fingers achingly squeezed into your cheeks while his eyes remained glued to where you two were connected.

Harry always loved fucking you from behind. The heart shape of your ass, the way he could see all your pretty holes and how you clenched around him, the way he could get his cock inside you deeper than other positions… how he could grab your hips and fuck you hard, bruising your insides and out. He liked being able to spank your pretty ass and thumb at your tight ring of muscles and he especially liked spreading your cheeks and burying his face between them. 

But nothing compared to watching your face. The way your eyes would roll back into your head, how they’d flutter and close when something felt especially good. The scrunch of your nose and furrow of your brow and the way your mouth would part in a whimper when something hurt a little too good. The way your jaw would clench and slack and how dazed your eyes got when he wrapped his hand around your throat.

He loved watching the effect he had on you. Your face showed him how good he was making you feel in a way your body didn’t and it became a little game to him on how to get you to make certain facial expressions. 

Mostly though… he liked watching your eyes gloss over the harder he fucked you, the meaner he was. He loved to watch you slip into an ultimate state of submission and pleasure. 

“Daddy…” You moaned, unable to come up with anything in reply to him. You were already too far gone. 

“I know.” He sympathised. “Shit baby, you feel so fucking good. So good. Got the best pussy, you do.” 

There was nothing like having a man moan for you. When they whimpered for you, praised you.

“Love your cock.” The words tumbled out without real thought, “feels so good. Always need it so bad.”

Shit. You didn’t talk dirty very often, not that Harry minded. He liked to watch your reactions when he uttered total filth. But Jesus… when you said anything remotely sexual like that, that you loved his cock? For a moment he feared he was going to prematurely cum before he made you finish for the second time. 

“I love when you talk dirty to me, baby, but you’re gonna need to stop if you want me to keep fucking you.”

You let out a choked laugh at his words, loving how one small compliment had him stilling for a second to collect himself. You clenched on purpose, gasping with a smile when he pinched your cheeks a little harder. 

“Spit in my mouth.”

Now you were just fucking with him. Through the haze of your pussy being completely destroyed by him, you still managed to tease him and be a fucking brat. 

“God, you’re fucking filthy today.” He gritted, cocking his head while sliding his hand down your jaw to the top of your throat so he could tuck his thumb into your mouth. “Open up.”

Your lips parted instantly, earning a pleased ‘good girl’ in return that had you happy as anything. “Stick your tongue out.” Again, you followed his instruction instantly, whimpering when his fingers dug into the sides of your neck with purpose. “That’s it. Good girl.”

It all happened so fast. The praise. The hammering of his hips against yours. The woozy pleasure feeling clouding your brain like a drug. All of it. And then it happened. Harry collected the saliva in his mouth and spat it all over your tongue, watching with sick satisfaction as your saliva slid down to the back of your throat. He groaned loudly and leaned in to kiss you fiercely, picking up the pace against your hips in a way that had tears trailing down your face. 

It was so good. So so fucking good. It felt like your whole body was on fire. Every square of your body was pressed against his and when he fucked you particularly hard, the dining table scraped across his gorgeous wooden flooring. Harry didn’t give two fucks about his scratched floors, if anything he liked the thought of always looking at a constant reminder that you were his. 

“Can’t believe what a little slut you’re being tonight.” He grinned, palming over your breast and pinching your nipple until you cried out and arched against him. “You fucking love my spit, don’t you? That’s why you asked for it. Because you love being my filthy little slut.”

Filthy little slut. God you loved when he was a little mean to you. A lot mean sometimes too. 

“Uhuh. Love it so much.” You nodded enthusiastically, well, as enthusiastically as you could after an orgasm and his cock so deep inside you, you swore you felt it in your throat. 

“Yeah? Take some more than. Since you want it so fucking bad.” He spat into your mouth again, using two fingers to roughly spread it over your tongue. He pushed them back, laughing when you suddenly gagged around his fingertips. “Aw, poor baby can’t even handle my fingers, hm? How do you manage my cock then if you can’t even take two fingers down your throat?” 

He grabbed your neck this time and pushed you back until you were lying down on the table before grabbing your ankles to hike them on your shoulder. 

Yeah… a lot mean was fucking hot. 

“Harry.” You protested, covering your face with both hands. 

Your whole body was heating up from how mean he was being. Maybe even a little shy at how much you liked it. It shouldn’t have been a surprise anymore that you liked it, not when you two had so much practice with it. Yet you still found yourself getting nervous when he looked at you a certain way or said a certain thing. You rather liked it like that. You never wanted to lose the butterflies. The romance. The big pile of mush you turned into when he degraded you and used you. 

“Don’t start being shy now, Angel. You know you like it.” He smirked, reaching forward to grab your hands from your face. He interlaced your fingers, drawing your hands down to rest on your belly so he could look at you. “Wanna look at you, baby. You’ve got the prettiest face. Look so gorgeous like this.”

Every word seemed to be egging you on, drawing you closer to the inevitable ecstasy that would flood through your core. The angle was so intense, so deep you knew that if he pressed on your belly, his cock would press through. 

“Oh god. I’m… shit. I’m so close.” You moaned, squeezing his hands and digging your heels into his shoulders. 

“Give it to me, baby. Tell me what you need.”

“My… my clit.”

Harry kept one hand intertwined with yours while the other moved down to your clit. He rubbed purposed circles over your bundle of nerves, delivering such perfect pressure it barely took a murmured ‘I love you’ for that wave of white hot pleasure to rush over you. His thrusts stilled at the feeling of you clenching around him and he was quick to widen your legs and fold over you so he could lazily slot your lips together. 

With a curse and a pretty whimper into your mouth that had your head spinning, Harry thrust once, twice, three final times until you felt his hot cum fill you up. His body was so heavy over yours, your sticky bodies pressed and joined together. You wrapped your legs and arms around him, wanting to keep him as close as possible to you. 

“God, that was so good.” He murmured, tucking his forehead into the crook of your neck.

“Agreed. I’ve missed that” you whispered, panting slightly as you ran your fingers through his hair. 

“Me too. Fuck.” He propped himself up over you, pushing your hair back from your face. “Are you okay?”

You smiled and let out a small laugh, tipping your head up so you could kiss him. “I’m more than okay. Two orgasms equals a happy girl.” 

“And what does three make you?” He grinned. 

“An even happier girl, possibly a tired girl.” You smiled, reaching your arms above your head to arch your back in a stretch. He shook his head and stood back straight, scanning his eyes over the light sheen of sweat on your pretty skin. 

“And you’re not tired now?” Harry raised his brow, looking down at your pussy to watch himself pull out. He did so slowly, careful not to hurt you and was completely mesmerised by the trail of cum that followed his cock. 

“Fuck.” You whispered, feeling an ache when he fully pulled out of you. “Of course I’m tired. A little sore too. I think I’m gonna sleep like a baby tonight.”

“Mh. Me too. Wish we could sleep together.” He replied, eyes glued to his cum slowly dripping out of you. “I don't think I’ll ever get over how hot it is to see you like this.”

“Mmh.” You agreed, propping yourself up on your elbows to look at his cock covered in your cream. “I always thought creampies were overrated before you. Now… I love it.” Your eyes flickered back to Harry, who was already looking right at you with this dark look that made you want to climb all over him again. “I like feeling it later… even if it’s a little gross to sit in cold cum.”

Harry scrunched his nose up at that, “You could’ve made that so much sexier, y/n. Now when you go home I’ll be thinking of stale cum.”

“I didn’t call it stale! I said ‘cold’.” 

“Like that’s any better?” He laughed, leaning in to kiss you. “I’ll grab you some water and a towel, okay? Stay here.” 

“Like I’d go anywhere, I’ll drip stale cum all over your floor.” You shot back as he was already walking into his kitchen. You loved his ass. It was just so cute half the time you had this temptation to just whack it but you knew he’d hate it and probably retaliate ten times worse. 

There was something so sexy about him walking around stark naked without a care in the world. He had such confidence in his body and himself that he really didn’t care. You weren’t as confident as he was in that department but being with him had definitely made you more confident in your skin. 

“It’s already on my table, y/n. The floor won’t make much difference.”

You clenched up immediately at that comment, trying to stop more of his cum from dripping out of you. “Yeah… we’ve got to sanitise this. We eat here.” You scrunched your nose and sat up to look at the spot between your legs, finding his cum already dripped onto the table. 

“Baby I’d sanitise the entire house if it meant I got to fuck you anywhere and everywhere.” He smirked, coming back with a big glass of water and a damp tea towel. He had already cleaned himself up and was quick to crouch down before you to clean you up as well. You didn’t get very nervous about the cleanup anymore. Harry had wiped you clean and taken care of you dozens of times. 

“Thank you.” You smiled, grabbing the glass from where he had put it on the table beside you. “Your bed’s next. When we have more time.”

“I still can’t believe we haven’t christened my bed yet. It feels wrong.” He murmured, watching you 

shakily bring the glass to your lips while he grabbed your underwear from the pile of clothes on the floor and dragged them up your legs.

“I know. I’ve missed your bed. It’s a lot comfier than mine, more space too.” You had this little mischievous grin playing on your lips, one that Harry found incredibly sexy. 

You were still breathing a little heavily and managed to finish half the glass by the time you lifted your hips and Harry adjusted your underwear back in place. You attempted to set the glass down on the table beside you but before you could, he stood up and stopped you with a finger pushing the cup up towards you.

“Ah. All of it.” He tutted, looking at you expectedly until you brought the cup up to your mouth again. He maintained eye contact with you, one hand rubbing over your bare thigh while he kept a single finger underneath your glass. It was firm enough to tell you to keep drinking, but not enough so you wouldn’t be able to move the glass on your own. “Good girl… that’s it, drink all of it. Atta girl.”

You loved being fucked rough and dirty and since you two decided not to use condoms, your favourite thing was being pumped full of his cum, even more so when he degraded you when it happened. Like he just did barely two minutes ago. But there was something even better about the aftercare. His sweet tone, his commanding and caring nature as he got you water and a snack. All of it. 

And the praise. Somehow it was so much sexier when you two were post-sex, even more so when it was casual. A nonchalant ‘good girl’ when you did something he asked or a loving ‘I’m so proud of you’ when you got a good grade or finished an assignment. His atta girl at finishing your water nearly made you drop to your shaky knees and get him nice and hard again with your mouth. 

He said the words like they were nothing then moved on, not really caring that you were like a frozen deer at the first sign of praise. “I happen to like your bed. It’s cosy.”

“Yeah…” you breathed, “cosy and next to a thin wall where even adjusting in my bed can be heard by next door.”

“You don’t think they’d like hearing you call me ‘Daddy’?” He grinned, putting his sweatpants on and grabbing your t shirt to help put that on you too. You’ll definitely have to shower the second you walk into your house. There’s just no way you don’t smell like a sex club. 

“No, I don’t think so.” You finished the very last sip of your water, making sure there wasn’t a single drop left in the glass. Once it was all gone, Harry grabbed it from you and placed it down on the table out of the way, tipping your head up with a gentle finger under your chin while his thumb rubbed over the leftover wetness around your mouth from your drink.

“Thank you.” You whispered, kissing his thumb.

Harry smiled softly and guided your mouth to his for a single, deep, core-clenching kiss. It felt like a kiss that was promising so much more and even though you just had your fill, literally, it didn’t make you any less insatiable for him. There was just something about Harry dominating… truly dominating that turned you into a horny little rabbit. 

You wouldn’t be surprised if Harry called you that one day. It felt like the less you saw each other, the more insatiable you became. With the last couple of weeks being so busy, each time you’ve seen each other had been takeaway or a quick dinner and quick - but good - sex. You didn’t have proper time together and while fucking until the morning sounded and felt like a good idea in the moment, when you both woke up and Harry had his long commute to work or you had a day full of classes it became a regret.

Well, not a regret per se. You’d never regret sleeping with him. Ever. But you both complained about being tired the entire day to each other. More you than him since you loved to complain about everything and now Harry was fortunate enough to be the one to hear it all. It was worth it, but it was hard.

You couldn’t take every weekend, or even every second weekend off work to spend time with Harry because you needed money and he couldn’t ‘work from home’ to spend time with you. Driving so much took it out of both of you too so it was always easier if he stayed the night. Things would change once your parents knew and you had a bit more freedom… but you had a feeling they wouldn’t be totally happy with you spending nights with him instead of them.

And next door to top it all off.

Your anxious feelings didn’t help the situation either, but even with that little hiccup, you had missed time. Time where you two could just explore each other's bodies and try new things, go multiple rounds without the stress of your responsibilities. You had that before you two started dating so you knew that the changes to your sex life were mostly your fault. Or because of your situation. 

If you lived closer things would be a lot easier. But that was also life and you two were figuring out what worked for you and now to manage it all. Ideally, once you were finished with university, maybe you two would move in with each other or at the very least you’d want to live much closer to him. 

It was still so early into your relationship and you didn’t want to jump too far… but being full of his cum made your brain a little dizzy and romantic. Suddenly you were ready to forget your birth control and let him fuck a baby in you so you could be at home with him all the time. As a fantasy of course. 

Which is why your post-sex horny brain took a few seconds longer to process the next words out of his mouth. 

“Hey, um. I need to tell you something.” He whispered, forehead pressed against yours. He slid his hand along your cheek to cup your face, letting his fingertips comb through your hair a little. 

“Hm?” you asked, brows furrowing when you read the nervous look in his eyes. Your stomach dropped suddenly and that anxious gut feeling felt more rampant than ever. “What is it?”

“I have to go back to London.” 

“Oh, okay.” You were a little taken aback. Harry hadn’t mentioned any trips or work events or anything recently. The timing of it right after the phone call too felt a bit unnerving. You just hoped everything was okay. “When?”

“Just over a month.” He murmured, feeling that steady beat of anxiety claw at his throat. Harry hated that he had to ruin such a good moment, such a pleasurable, romantic experience to talk about this. He wasn’t sure how you’d react and it scared the hell out of him. 

“Wow, that’s short notice.” You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, threading your fingers casually into his hair. “Is it… family? Or work or?”

“Family. I…” he swallowed thickly, hugging his arms around you. “It’s my sister’s birthday. Everyone’s going to be there.”

“That’s great.” You smiled, relieved that it wasn’t something horrible. That he was okay. “That’ll be such a nice trip, Harry. Did you saw them last year when you went over?”

Harry didn’t speak about them a lot. He didn’t not speak about them and when they came up he always had something to say, but it also wasn’t a topic he brought up by himself. He spoke about his travels quite often, but even that topic hadn’t come up in a while. You were a little glad actually because you didn’t really want to think about him going away for so long. The thought of him in Italy looking all gorgeous and tanned without you made you violently ill. 

Harry shook his head and sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I haven’t been completely honest with you about my family.”

And there it was. 

“What do you mean?” You asked softly, trying not to jump to any conclusions. Whatever it was had to be deeply personal and you knew that. 

After the very brief mention of his nephew passing, you two hadn’t spoken about it once. You wanted to ask but it never felt like the right time and after that phone call, the last thing you wanted to do was make him think you were pressuring him into talking. 

And now to learn there was more… 

“Well… you know how I told you about my nephew?” You nodded, “When he died… it was right around the time I was meant to move here. The timing was so fucked. My flight had been booked for months and it was scheduled for the week after the funeral. Everything was packed and ready to go and my job was due to start only a few days after I landed in Melbourne…”

“That must’ve been so hard, Harry. I can’t imagine having to leave everyone so close to his passing.”

“It gets worse, y/n.” He shook his head, looking down at the floor. “When Harry Jr died, it really fucked me up. I already wasn’t in the best mental state because of my ex, even if I thought I was fine, and I couldn’t handle it.” You weren’t exactly sure where he was going with it. It was clear he did something, but what? “Harry Jr was like my own kid. Him and Lola were everything to me but he was just… like my twin. Lola and I were close but it didn’t compare to the bond Harry and I had. Losing him was… the worst thing that has ever happened to me and as fucked as it was and still is, I couldn’t handle it.”

Harry was starting to get worked up. His words were becoming a little shaky and you could feel how tense he became. He was holding onto you so tight and yet he was avoiding looking at you. He was scared to hear how you were going to react and he was having a hard time finding the words to explain what he had done. 

Practicing with Max did nothing to help. He had told people before and been faced with his actions for years so it wasn’t a new discussion to have. But telling you, the love of his life, how he betrayed and destroyed his family only to keep himself distanced because he was a coward was the hardest it had ever been.  

“Everyone grieves differently, Harry. It would’ve been hard for everyone.” You tried to soothe, combing through his hair. 

“I changed my flight to the day of the funeral.” He just went and said it, immediately feeling your fingers stop in his hair and how you seemed to pull your body back from his. You didn’t mean to do it, but you were a little shocked. “I spent days breaking down and feeling the most depressed I had ever been. The idea of going to that funeral and seeing the small coffin… I couldn’t do it.” He stepped back from you, running his hands through his hair. He was shaking, his throat aching with how hard he was willing away the tears. His eyes were stinging and he didn’t want to face you as he explained the rest of the story, even when you slipped off the table and whispered his name, stepping forward to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“I skipped the funeral without telling anyone and I flew here to start my new life.” He paused, swallowing thickly, “I left her, y/n. I left my only sister on the worst day of her life because I couldn’t handle it. She lost her son and I left. I left!” The words came out in an angry spit and his shoulders seemed to widen and slump forward like he was holding back immense rage. At himself. “We fought and she said she’d never forgive me again, fuck I can’t forgive myself. I don’t even want to.”

You were a little thrown off balance, to be honest. You never expected him to say any of that and to hide it from you for so long. But you couldn’t be upset either. He made a terrible mistake and you could see how badly it was eating him up. Harry was a proud person and very rarely doubted himself or his actions, yet you knew he was so ashamed in himself for what he did. It was hard to see. 

“Harry…” You tried to get him to turn around with a little squeeze of his shoulder but he shrugged it off. 

“My mum hated me, Gemma hated me, Andy hated me. Everyone hated me and I deserved it. I’ve skipped every Christmas since because I couldn’t face it and because I was a coward. I’m still a coward. I’ve sent letters and texts and tried to call her and I’ve never been able to see her face to face because I’m scared. I’ve never been able to push myself to that next step because I keep thinking it’s too late. That she’ll never forgive me.” 

You could see how devastated he was about it and how angry he was at himself. And you understood it. He had spent nearly five years away from his family, beating himself up because of a huge mistake he made. And it was huge. You weren’t going to dispel that. You weren’t even sure that if you were in Gemma’s place, you’d ever get over something like that. 

But Harry has also changed a lot. You imagined Harry Jr’s death changed him for the worse. Since the moment you met him, he always was a selfish, narcissistic person. It was never a secret that he lived his life for himself and cared about money and his job over anything else and maybe Harry Jr’s death had something to do with that. But since knowing him he’s made so many improvements to himself. He’s completely turned around to try and be an honest and good person.

The things he did for you and put himself through to protect you wouldn’t be done by just anyone. He had so much love in him and had proved that time and time again. He was attentive and caring and so generous. You were starting to think that he always was that person but was torturing himself for so long because of the mistakes he had made that it was easier to keep people at an arm's length.

After knowing him deeper though, you knew that his family meant a lot to him. He spoke to his mum at least twice a week and looked after her financially too. She was a young mum and had already been retired for nearly 10 years because of the way Harry invested his money and the success he had in all his different ventures. Being able to retire a parent when you’re barely 30 and live your own life in such an extravagant way is a massive achievement. 

Which is why you were just so shocked he hadn’t visited Gemma in person yet to try and mend things. How did it take so long for him to finally make the decision to go back to the UK and mend things with her, at least you assumed that’s why he wanted to go to her birthday. You assumed the phone call with his mum had something to do with it too. 

You weren’t really sure what to make of it or what to say. You loved him and were always going to love him and it hurt to know that he had been in a mental place so low and so far gone that he hurt his only sibling this badly. He was suffering with his own grief and unable to cope that badly that his sister, the mother of his nephew had to mourn the loss of her son and her brother all at the same time.

It was awful all around. 

“Harry. Turn around, please.” You coaxed gently, giving his shoulder another little squeeze. He inhaled a shaky breath and slowly turned around, showing you his reddened eyes and puffy nose. “Come here.” You guided, grabbing his hand to pull him towards the couch so you two could sit and talk about it properly. He remained silent while you took his hands in yours, trying to find the right words to support him. 

“What you did was wrong…” His expression seemed to fall even further, complete despair in his eyes. “But you don’t need me to tell you that.” You softened your expression, reaching up to cup his face in both hands. “You’ve been torturing yourself because of this for years and I get it. I can’t put myself in your shoes or even Gemma’s shoes because I don’t have siblings and I don’t have nieces or nephews but I understand loss and I understand family. Everyone grieves differently but the one constant in our lives is our family. I don’t think it’s too late to make up for it.”

“You don’t mean that.” He whispered, scanning your face. “Why don’t you hate me? I fucked up.” 

“You did and I won’t excuse what you did. But you were in a horrible part of your life and yeah, the right thing to do was go to the funeral, but you made your choice and you’ve lived with the consequences already. You have changed and grown so much since we started dating, Harry, and I can see the difference it’s making in your life. All you can do now is try and show Gemma you’ve changed. That you’re better.” 

Harry said nothing for a moment and swallowed the lump in his throat, “I’ve tried to go home to her for years and every time I get close, I see how happy they are without me and it stops me. There was one Summer I even made it to the front gate and saw Gemma and Lola through the window. They looked so happy. Lola was so big and Gemma looked at peace. I didn’t want to destroy that.”

“Don’t you think she’d be happier knowing she had her brother back?” You asked softly, dropping your hands from his face to grab his hands instead.

“I don’t know.” He admitted, “My mum has been trying to get me to go back for a long time, always trying to convince me that everyone missed me. That Gemma missed me. I never went because I was thinking about myself instead of her. It was easier for me to stay away than confront what I did. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to be that person.” 

He sounded so determined and he was. He always appreciated your honesty and you kept him accountable time and time again but you did it in a way that still supported him. You listened to him fully and offered support and advice. You didn’t act like he was a monster. He hoped that you felt like that on the inside too.

“Is that what the phone call was about? Her birthday?” 

Harry nodded. “My mum has been hounding me about it for months. When the call happened I wasn’t ready to tell you because I was scared I’d lose you. Really fucking scared. I know it upset you, baby, and I’m so sorry.” He squeezed your hands, bringing them up to his mouth to kiss your knuckles. “I didn’t mean to lie. I didn’t want to. I hope I haven’t lost you because I was ashamed.”

“You haven’t.” You smiled, squeezing his hands. “You haven't. I was upset at the time, but I didn’t want to press you because you’re allowed to have things that are just yours... I knew you’d tell me when you were ready.” You reached up to cup his cheek, watching the way he nuzzled into your touch, eyes fluttering closed at the comfort he felt. “I don’t think you’re that person anymore, Harry. I think Gemma would appreciate the work you’ve put into yourself to become a better person.”

“You think so?” He whispered, scanning your face with his eyes. 

You nodded. “I think it’ll take time. I honestly don’t know how things will work out because I don’t know her, but I know you and I know you’ll do everything you can to fix things with her. You’re her brother, Harry.”

“I love you,” Harry murmured, sliding his hand into the hair at the nape of your neck to draw you in for a kiss. This wasn’t the end of this conversation by any means. You had questions and you hoped that he’d be a lot more open about his family now. This was such an intense, deep-rooted issue. If he wanted to talk about it more, which you hoped he did, it wouldn’t happen in one night. 

The kiss deepened ever so slightly, ending with a little run of his tongue against your bottom lip while he rested his forehead against yours. “Will you come with me?” 

“What? Where? To London?” You blinked, a little surprised at his sudden request. 

He nodded, tightening his hand in your hair just a little. It wasn’t to hurt you, just to feel you. “I don’t know if I can do it by myself. I want you there.”

“Harry-” you tried to interrupt, but it was like he felt your hesitation before you even said anything. 

“I can show you my hometown, my house. You can meet my mum, maybe even Gemma. I just… I don’t want to leave you. I want you to come with me.”  

This felt like something he needed to do by himself. It happened before he even knew you and was such an important step in his life. Family is family and it would almost feel like an intrusion to be there when he’d be sorting through so much history. 

“Harry…” you sighed, leaning back. “I want nothing more than to support you but I have school. I don’t know if I can take time off and I’ve still got this trip planned at the end of the year with my friends. Money wise too… it’s a lot and it’s so soon.”

“You wouldn’t have to pay for a thing, y/n. I’d never let you do that.” His voice turned lower just a touch like he was almost reprimanding you for even suggesting he’d let you pay for a single thing. “And I think it might even align with your semester break, at least some of it anyway. Even if you flew in later and met me there? We could travel. I could take you to my house in Italy.” He was trying so hard to convince you but by the look on your face, it wasn’t working. 

“It’s not just that, Harry.” You chuckled at his attempts to convince you, which actually were quite appealing. “I love you and the idea of Italy and seeing where you grew up is so… amazing but I think this is something you need to do by yourself. There is so much history there and so much you need to work through. I don’t know if it’s a good idea for me to go.” 

“I want you to come.” He coaxed, pecking you quickly. God when he had that almost pouty look on his face and murmured so sweetly… you’d agree to anything. “You can do your own thing. You’ve always wanted to go to London. There’s so much to do and you can do whatever you want. As long as I get to see you at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Have you in my bed every night.” Now the thought of that was extremely appealing. “Just think about it. Please.” 

“I’ll think about it.” You compromised, smiling softly. 

“Thank you.” He kissed you again before wrapping his arms around you to draw you into his chest. Both of you knew you had to head home, but it wasn’t the right time for you to leave. You couldn’t. 

You spent the next hour or so just wrapped in his arms, then him wrapped in yours. He opened up a little more about Gemma and his extended family and he already seemed so much more open to speak about them. You could tell this was something that weighed heavy on him for a long time. 

Archie made his way from outside at some point too, bringing in a trail of dust and leaves that broke the tension in the room and let you and Harry distract yourselves by bathing him. He had been running a muck outside the entire time, obsessively playing with a new toy Harry bought him. He was so engrossed in it, that he didn’t even know you came over. 

That was probably a good idea since you and Harry spent a lot of your time together naked. You swear Archie had PTSD from Harry’s instruction to go to his bed.

It was late by the time you peeled yourself from Harry, not wanting to leave but knowing you had to. He didn’t want you to leave either but you promised to come over before you left in the morning. He was tempted to come home with you and you had a feeling he might drive back in his own car so he could spend the night with you, or even the day before driving back in the night. 

It was times like these where you hated that your parents didn’t know about him. After learning everything, maybe it was time. 

“Hey, baby.” Your mum greeted, hugging you the moment you walked into your kitchen. 

“Hi.” You smiled, hugging her back. “Hey, Dad.”

“Hey, pumpkin.” He hugged you next, kissing your forehead before returning to the pot he was stirring on the stove. 

“Sorry I took forever, I was catching up with Harry then Archie ended up dragging dirt through the house so I stayed to help him clean up.” You explained, hoping she bought the excuse. There was this expression on her face that just told you she didn’t believe you, but she didn’t say anything about it so you decided to leave it and not say too much. Otherwise, she’d really know something was up if you started waffling. 

“It’s nice you two have stayed so close.” There was something about the way she focused on the word ‘close’, but she had a glass of wine in hand and always liked to read into things when she got a bit tipsy. You hoped you were just being a little paranoid. “You think he’ll give you your job back over your semester break?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. I might just plan my shifts at the cafe so I can be here for a couple of days then at mine for a couple of days. I don’t want to cut my shifts at the cafe completely.”

“Mh.” She agreed, “think about it. You know I like having you around.”

“I know. I like being here too.” You smiled, “I’m going to shower and get changed quickly. I’ll be right back.”

“Alright. Don’t be too long.” She called after you. 

“I won’t!”

The night continued as it always did. Dinner, a glass of wine, an update on your week of uni and your night out with your friends (sans Harry, of course). Then Dad went to his office to do some quotes and your mum and you wound up on the couch watching The Real Housewives. Another couple glasses of wine was involved, but it was a Saturday night and you had nowhere to be tomorrow except home. 

Perfect.

Until your mum paused the show while you got up to get a snack and when you returned, she had no plans of playing it again. She had this look on her face, like she was getting ready to announce something really big or ask you an invasive question. 

It was the latter.

“Are you okay?” You asked, landing on the couch with a heavy seat. The wine slowly infused in your body, making you feel like a heavy lump of bones. You were getting to the point where one more sip of wine would knock you out and your pillow was calling your name.

“I need to ask you something.” She shifted on the couch, sitting cross legged while facing you. She still had her glass of wine in hand, eyeing it like she had a nervous tick.

“Okay…” you looked at her a little funny, taking a sip of wine. 

“Are you sleeping with Harry?” At her words, your eyes widened and the wine suddenly travelled down the wrong hole. You coughed repeatedly and Mum was quick to lean forward to tap your back until your coughing subsided. “Our neighbour, Harry.”

“Thanks for the clarification, Mum, but I only know one Harry.” You coughed, rubbing the sore spot over your chest. “Why are you asking me this?”

“Just answer the question. Is it true?”

Shit. What were you even meant to do? You didn’t want to lie about it because the truth would always come out, but you also weren’t ready to talk about it. You had this whole speech planned and all these things you wanted to say when you brought it up to her and now that she was the one asking you about it, there was nothing in your head.  

You felt bombarded by it. But maybe it was better to tell her first before your dad found out. At least this way you could explain everything and diffuse any worries so when he found out, your mum would be on your side. And you knew she would be. Or hopeful at best. Maybe not at first, but all she wanted was your happiness and if Harry made you happy, she’d support you with it.  

Your parents had always told you that they didn’t care what you did with your life as long as you were happy, healthy and safe. They’d support you if it truly was what you wanted. When they said that they were talking about work, not dating your neighbour, but it still applied. 

It would be a shock to them and you knew that, but no one was getting hurt and you were happier than you had ever been. You knew they’d understand. Eventually anyway. 

“Um…” you trailed off, looking away briefly. “Yes? But we’re not sleeping together, we’re… we’re dating.” Even though you could tell she wasn’t surprised, the look of pure disappointment on her face expressed exactly how she felt. She didn’t want you to say yes. “I was going to tell you.” You jumped in again before she replied, wanting to get as much out as possible before she gave her opinion. “I swear. I wanted to tell you and Dad both at the same time so you two wouldn’t get all weird with each other if one of you knew first.”

“Oh god, y/n!” Mum pinched the bridge of her nose. She took a heavy sip of wine before continuing like it would somehow make the news easier to bear. “I had a feeling you were going to say that. I prayed that you weren’t and yet here we are.”

“You knew? How?”

“I didn’t know, but I kind of worked it out. You've been a little giddier than usual. Always looking at your phone and you’re always going over there when you come to visit. He's been different too. Less broody and secretive and he's been getting a dogsitter for Archie for a lot more overnights than usual. Mother’s know these things, y/n. So… explain. How did it start?”

Was it seriously that obvious? When she put it like that, it kind of was obvious that you were seeing someone. She wasn't particularly upset by it, but her tone wasn't overly jovial either. She was calm. Calm was good.

Though it could've been the wine making her more relaxed.

“I guess we kind of got closer as I dogsat Archie. We’d always talk for ages and we had that weekly dinner, which you knew about. Then one day… I don’t know. Things changed.” You averted eye contact, feeling a blush graze your cheeks at the memory of the first time you two slept together. 

“You were sleeping together?” You nodded silently, knowing that she’d be able to tell if you were lying. “When?”

“What?”

“When was the first time?”

“Mum.” You protested, “you don’t need to know that.”

“I do, actually because now that I know it happened, I need to know when it started.”

“Yes but-”

“So when was the first time, y/n?”

You clearly weren't getting out of this one.

“...A few weeks before his birthday, I guess.”

“A few weeks before his birthday.” She repeated to herself, “so you were dogsitting for him and having dinner with him for weeks and what? You two were just sleeping together each time just like that? All those times you came home ‘late’, you were sleeping with him? Right next door? Have you slept with him here?”

“Mum, stop!” You whined, hating how she seemed to be spiralling about the fact you had sex. 

Her questions were practically spitfire and if you didn't stop her now, she'd continue and her questions would get way more invasive. She always was like that when she drank. Nosy and more brazen than usual. Dad always said it was because she was pretty that she got away with the way she ran her mouth when she drank.

Mum was harmless, but God if there was even a smidge of a secret hanging around she'd find out and talk about it to anyone and everyone.

She knew you weren’t a virgin and while you didn’t share every detail of your sex life, she knew you had slept with a couple of guys. You were always open and honest with her to an extent because you valued her advice, especially when your heart got involved and you ended up getting hurt. But right now you didn’t want to hear her fears or her spiralling bout the fact you had sex next door when you knew she and Dad had sex only two rooms away from you. If it were up to her, she’d know every detail about every aspect of your life.

You understood it to an extent and you practically did share everything with her. But seriously. Boundaries. 

“I love you but it’s none of your business. I don’t ask when you and dad have sex because that’s disgusting so don’t ask me!” 

“Fine. Fine. You’re right.” She let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes, “Just tell me you’re still on birth control and we can move on.”

“Yes. I am.”

“Good because I swear to God, y/n, if you come home pregnant...”

“Mum!”

“I had to say it, okay? It’s my job as a mother. Now continue.”

“It wasn’t serious at first and neither-” you paused to give her a warning glance when it looked like she was going to make another comment about your sex life. She only rolled her eyes and sipped her wine again, attentively listening to you talk, “neither of us wanted a relationship and I always said to you too that it didn’t interest me but he somehow managed to change my mind about it all. He didn't mean to and he was further away from commitment than I was... but the longer it went on, the more we realised that it was more than just casual." You let out a sigh, "I didn’t want to like him mum, I didn’t. There were problems and he had problems and I knew it was stupid to fall for someone who lived his whole life single and selfish but things changed and kept changing. He changed.”

The whole time you spoke, she actively listened. She didn’t try to interrupt or even make any weird noises of indignation that your dad definitely would. She just listened and processed it. You appreciated that. 

“It wasn’t an easy beginning to our relationship because we had a lot of differences and he… he hurt me really bad. I almost told you back then too because he broke my heart. Really bad.” Your voice broke slightly, feeling that same break in your heart that you did at the very beginning.

“Y/n.” She soothed, placing her hand on yours over your knee. “You could’ve told me back then, y’know. I would’ve been there for you. I'm a little hurt you didn't trust me enough to come talk to me about this.”

“It's not about trust, mum. You know I trust you. Everything was just so complicated and I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t really think we’d get back together, anyway, so I didn’t want to start something and have you storm to his house to tell him off for no reason when I thought it was over.”

“I would’ve done that. I can still do that for you, if you want?” She smiled, sipping her wine again.

“No, don't," You rolled your eyes, laughing softly. “We worked things out and… well we never looked back. Before we ended our casual relationship so badly, Harry was really complicated and secretive and God sometimes I wanted to strangle him. But when we got back together… he changed everything for me, mum. He worked on himself and is still working on himself and honestly, I’m probably the happiest I’ve ever been. He treats me so so well and he spoils me and loves me everyday and-”

“He loves you?” She interrupted, “as in you loves you.”

You nodded.

“And you love him back?”

You took an extra moment to respond to her, not really sure where she was going with her comments. “I do. I know I do.”

“y/n…” She sighed. You could feel the change in the air. How her active listening turned to disappointment and a hope that your relationship would end before it properly started. “I honestly thought that you were just dating and having fun and he was buying you nice things, but love? I have no doubt you feel that way towards him but isn’t it too soon?”

“I just know, mum. I had no control over it and I never meant for it to happen but it did and… and I’m happy. I’m so happy with him and even with the distance and everything else, we’re making it work.”

“But how? He’s not too much younger than your dad and I and he’s got no kids, has never been married? Everyone knows he’s had his fun and sleeps with whoever he wants, what’s to say he doesn’t still want that? And then there’s the opposite. What if he’s finally done with being a bachelor and wants to settle and have kids before he gets too old? Is that what you want? Because I know it’s not.” She gave you this look and crossed her arms over her chest, like she already knew what your answer would be.

She seemed to know all your answers tonight.

“Of course I don’t want that. Not now anyway. But he doesn’t want that and he doesn’t want to sleep around either.” 

“So you two haven’t spoken about settling down?” She fired back, already knowing that you had. Your mum was the best reader of people and relationships, probably because she stuck her nose in everyone's business and knew all the ways they failed.

“I mean we have but not for now. Like… just so we both know that this isn’t a short term kind of thing.”

“Y/n, baby. You are so young. So young and gorgeous and smart.” She soothed, leaning forward to cup your face and run her hands over your hair. “You have your whole life in front of you and the whole world at your fingertips. Why are you settling down with someone who’s already experienced everything? Would you not rather explore the world with someone who hasn’t seen it over and over again?”

“Mum, I can still do everything I want to do when I’m with him." You exasperated, brushing her hands off you. "I can travel and work overseas if I want and I still see my friends and do everything normal. Being in a relationship doesn’t stop that and if anything, Harry’s position makes it easier. He’s stable financially and is happy to slow down and do what I want. It’s not that he doesn’t get a say, but he’s got the freedom and wants to experience everything with me. It may not seem like it, but he’s got a lot of firsts too, mum. Trust me, I’ve thought about it all.”

“Look, I don’t know him very well.” She sighed, settling back against the couch. “He’s been living next door for nearly five years and I couldn’t even tell you what footy team he supports, but he’s always been polite and charming. All I can do is go off that and what you tell me and if you’re telling me you’re happy then… I guess I’m happy too. I just don’t want you to get hurt, y/n. By anyone.”

“I know. I don’t want that either but I promise you’ll love him like I do. You’ll see why he means so much to me. You and dad.” You smiled, reaching for her hand and giving it a squeeze.

“I hope so.” She smiled back, squeezing your hand in return. “So tell me more. Tell me everything.”

The next few hours were spent practically debriefing your entire relationship. You kept the bigger problems private as she simply wouldn’t understand the Ethan situation, but you told her everything else you two had been through. If it had something to do with Ethan, you twisted the story a little but for the most part, it was an amazing chat.

You loved your mum more than anything and to actually sit there and talk about Harry so freely and honestly and have her engage properly was the best feeling ever. She freely gave advice (even when you didn’t want it) but you were happy with that. You didn’t have a lot of boy problems so actually having someone to talk about with her was everything to you. It made you hopeful for the future of your relationship with Harry and took so much weight off your shoulders.

It was liberating.

“Oh god…” mum wheezed, her laughter coming to a stop as she finished off her final glass of wine for the evening. “I’m too drunk right now but in the morning we’ll brainstorm how to get back at chatty Cathy across the road. She can never ever keep her mouth shut. That woman.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Your brows furrowed and that happy, calm energy you had somehow dissipated into thin air. 

“Tracey? The only reason I asked you if you were seeing Harry was because Tracey’s been hinting at it for weeks. I thought I told you.”

“No… you didn’t.”

Your mind was suddenly twisting and turning. After everything you had been through with her and Ethan and even just the shit between you and Harry, she still wouldn’t leave you alone. You had done nothing to her and left her alone since you moved out for school and yet she still had to run her mouth off about you? You just didn’t get it. 

Harry had recordings over her admitting to lying to you and you had photos of her cheating and she knew that and still decided to try and get some attention her way? Nope. Not on your fucking watch. 

You were over it. You were over being the target of people who you had nothing to do with. Who only wanted to use you to get money or for some other stupid fucking reason that meant nothing in real life. You were done. So if she was going to run her big fat mouth about you, then you were going to do it right back and you were going to hit her where it hurt the most. Her family.

//

It was only a couple of days later when the truth came out. You weren’t trying to hide it from Harry but it also wasn’t exactly a conversation you wanted to have over the phone. He got called into work for some client emergency on Sunday which ruined his plan to come spend the day and/or night with you. Then neither of you could see the other until Tuesday as he planned to work from home on Wednesday. 

You were glad that his quiet days seemed to align with yours because it meant you could spend more time together. Even if you were both busy working or doing uni work, just being in his presence was enough to make you happy. And now that your mum knew about you two… it was only a matter of time before you could start spending nights at his house too.

“Baby?” You heard Harry’s voice echo through your apartment, easily being heard in the shower due to your thin walls. 

“In here.” You yelled back, scrubbing your nails through your scalp to rinse out the remaining conditioner. Harry accidentally went home with your keypass after going on his morning run the last time he stayed over. He kept it in his shorts pocket so he wouldn’t wake you and it wound up in his bags somehow, hence his ability to enter your place without you needing to go downstairs and get him. He wasn’t really meant to have them, but it was only for a couple of days and Maeve had your spares so you could still get in and out easily.

“Can I come in?” He asked a moment later, knocking on the bathroom door. 

“Yeah.”

Wordlessly, he opened the door and let himself in, scanning your naked body from head to toe. You were facing the wall with your eyes closed, head tilted back so the water was streaming down your hair. Gorgeous. He had been craving you all day. It was just one of those days where it was shit after shit and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed with you and just be wrapped in your arms. 

“Can I join you?” Harry asked softly, itching to jump in the hot water with you. He was already loosening his tie. Before entering your bathroom he took off his jacket and shoes so he was ready to let the rest of his clothes fall to the ground without care. You always had showers extremely hot and now that the weather was cooling down, Harry quite liked the sauna it left behind in the bathroom. He didn’t particularly enjoy it when it was 30° outside but he never let that stop him from getting in a shower with you.

“Of course, you can.” You smiled, still facing away from him. You always felt a little vulnerable being in a shower with him. Even though he had seen your body plenty of times, there was still something so sacred and personal about getting clean. You were glad you had already washed yourself before he came in because the last thing you needed him to see was you plucking out one of your long hairs from your underarms or ass. 

“I wasn’t sure what time you’d be here.” You hummed, feeling the slide of his cold bare hands along your hips as he joined you in the shower.

“Yeah, I had to work late. ‘M sorry to keep you waiting.” He murmured, kissing your shoulder while wrapping his arms fully around you. You sighed into the touch, tilting your head back to welcome the feeling of his body around yours. He snuggled against you, proper bear-hugging you while digging his forehead into the crook of your neck. 

“It’s okay. Maeve dragged me to a late Pilates class so I had to wash my hair. I swear I sweat like two litres every time.” You laughed softly, “I would’ve waited for you. I like being at the door to greet you.”

“I like having you greet me too.” He kissed your neck softly, “did you have fun at Pilates? I haven’t been for a while.”

“I liked it. It was a beginner class so no handstands or anything like you do but I’m sore already. ” You teased, turning around slowly to face him. He kept your body close, immediately kissing you once your faces were in line. “We should go together sometime. I’ve been trying to get Jay to go but he keeps blowing me off.” You offered, immediately sensing that something was off with him. 

“I’d like that.” He murmured, pressing his lips against yours again. Harry was craving your comfort. He didn’t want to start anything or get too riled up, he just loved the warmth that spread through his chest when his mouth melted into yours. It could be a peck, a pash, a full snogging session. It didn’t matter. 

You combed your fingers through his hair, pushing it away from his face. “How was your day?”

“Shit. Just one of those days, y’know.” Harry replied, pressing your foreheads together before kissing you again. “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too. Do you want to talk about it?” You slowly eased your bodies around so he was facing the water instead of you. He shook his head and let his eyes flutter closed as the hot water streamed over his head. You pushed his hair back from his face, kissing his chest. “Okay.” When Harry wanted to talk he’d willingly do so, so you weren’t going to push him. Sometimes work was just shit and you got that. He’d probably talk about it later once he decompressed and relaxed. “You want me to wash your hair?”  

A smile grew on his face at your offer and he tipped his head down to look at you. Harry loved having his hair played with and his scalp scratched. He was like a cat. Sometimes he’d just lay there with his head on your lap for hours while you played with his hair. You first found it out during sex because he liked the pain, especially when his head was between your thighs so it only made sense he’d like it out of the bedroom too. 

“You sure?”

You nodded and reached up on your tippy toes to kiss him. “Turn around.” 

He pecked your mouth gently as a thank you then turned around to face the water. Wordlessly, you grabbed your shampoo and squeezed some onto your hands, rubbing them together to emulsify before you brought them to his scalp. 

Harry moaned as you massaged his scalp, using your nails to scratch as you went. “That feels good.” 

“Good.” You hummed, happy to look at the expanse of his back. His back muscles were incredible. 

It sometimes amazed you how fit he was, but with his daily runs and intense personal training sessions he somehow managed to squeeze into his routine, it really was no wonder that he looked the way he did. He worked his ass off to be as fit as he was and to stay that way and it all paid off because his physique was better than any boy your age.

You joined him in a personal training session once and you had no doubt any of the boys you had been with in the past would fail halfway through. Would you say you participated in said session? No. You were lugged over his shoulders so he could use your weight to do squats though. 

“Are we okay?” Harry asked suddenly, voice soft. 

“Of course we are.” You replied instantly. “Why wouldn’t we be?” You continued rubbing circles on his scalp, massaging him to make it more pleasurable and relaxing. Your arms were already starting to ache a little, but it was worth it. 

“I’m just making sure.” 

“I love you, Harry. Nothing will change that.” You murmured, running your hands down from his scalp to massage his neck and over his shoulder. He echoed the sentiment, voice just audible over the water as your lips created the trail for your hands to follow; over his neck and the expanse of his shoulders, down to the middle of his back and as low as you could go without bending. 

The tension was slowly leaving his body. Tense muscles melting and relaxing, his tense shoulders slumping until he was heavy on his feet. He was completely pliant to your touch and you couldn’t wait to wrap your arms around him and cuddle in bed. Part of you even wanted to skip dinner and head straight to bed.

“Rinse it, H.” You whispered, kissing a little freckle on his back before pulling back to give him space to turn around. He started scrubbing the shampoo out while you prepared his conditioner, rubbing it through your hands so it covered all your fingers. 

“Y’know something interesting did happen today. It was quite a spectacle in the neighbourhood.” Harry mused, already feeling better just by your touch and loving words. He stayed facing towards you to catch your reaction, which was as easy to read as ever. 

“What?” You froze for a split second while reaching to thread the conditioner through his hair, already knowing exactly what he was talking about. 

“Tracey was kicked out. Unfortunately I was already on my way to work but she was crying so loud everyone on the street was watching. Apparently, he found out she was cheating on him. You know anything about that?” He had this look of knowing on his face and it was like he knew that you had something to do with it. 

Shit. 

“About that…” you smiled sheepishly, putting your hands down to let the conditioner sit in his hair. 

“I knew it!” He accused, laughing while squeezing your hips. “What did you do?”

“Okay, but you can’t be mad.” You laughed, poking his chest. “I was going to tell you tonight, okay?” 

“Mad? Why would I be mad?” His brows knitted together, “I’m sure whatever you did had good reasoning behind it.”

“Well, yeah she’s a cunt but it’s not that.” Harry laughed loudly at your comment and you could feel his mood being lifted like steam dissipating in the air. You had such a fucking mouth on you sometimes. He loved it. “When I got home after we had that talk, everything was normal until my mum and I were watching TV after dinner. She said she had to talk about something and then just flat-out asked me if you and I were sleeping together! Like it was nothing.” 

“Shit.” His eyes widened, “And what did you tell her?”

“I told her the… truth.” You were a little nervous to tell him. A lot nervous actually. You knew he was ready to tell your parents whenever you were, but it felt wrong to have that conversation without him. But you couldn’t exactly call him or go over to his house after he just told you about his nephew. That would’ve been all sorts of fucked. Your mum knowing about you two dating meant nothing compared to what he was going through. 

“You did?”

“Yes. I’m really sorry.” You rushed out. “I wanted you to know when I was going to do it but I couldn’t lie to her when she was straight out asking me the question.”

“And you thought I’d be mad?” He scoffed, laughing softly while tucking your hair behind your ear. “Baby, the only way I’d be mad is if you were pressured into doing something you weren’t ready for. Were you okay having that conversation with her? I know… I know you weren’t ready to tell your parents yet.”

“Harry she asked me because Tracey was talking shit. After everything, everything we went through and all the fucked up shit she did and she still can’t leave me alone. I’ve done nothing to her.”

That manipulative cunt. 

Harry didn’t like to use that word very often. Other than the obvious use when he was trying to degrade you. But there was simply no other word in the English language that summed up who Tracey was. Desperate? Yes. Annoying? Just the sound of her breathing had Harry gritting his teeth. But the only word that truly encompassed everything about her was cunt.

He had no idea that her being kicked out was because she was causing problems again. He assumed it had something to do with you because you were cheeky and sneaky at times, but he didn’t expect this. After everything that happened, he thought you guys were done with her. 

“What the fuck? Fucking hell, y/n. Why didn’t you tell me?” He was getting a little frustrated at you now and you could see it in his expression. You just grabbed his hair and tilted his hair back, forcing his hair back under the water to rinse the conditioner out. Even though he was annoyed you didn’t tell him, he was still pliant to your touch and it took very minimal effort to maneuver his head. 

“Because we just spoke about your family and my drama literally doesn’t matter compared to what you’re going through. I didn’t want to bother you and then I didn’t want to tell you over the phone.”

“Of course it matters.” He scoffed, “You shouldn’t have to deal with this shit by yourself. I thought she was dealt with, but clearly not. How long have you known?”

“I found out when my mum asked me about us. I had no idea anything was happening before that.”

“So… what? Tracey’s been running her mouth?”

“Basically.” You sighed, still running your fingers through his hair to get rid of the last bits of conditioner. “She hasn’t said anything directly, but she’s been making comments and saying random things that makes people think that we’re sleeping together. At least that’s what my mum said.”

“I don’t get why she’s doing this.” He sighed, “You’ve moved out and we’ve left her alone after everything that happened. She’s got no reason to come after us again.”

“Like I said, she’s a cunt.” Your words came out matter-of-factly, eliciting a roll of Harry’s eyes. “She’s probably bored and thinks that it’s easy to use me to have her fun because I’m not there to defend myself.”

“Bullshit. I’m there to defend you. Why isn’t she scared of me?” Harry scoffed, eliciting a laugh in response.

“Harry she’s obsessed with you and even if you blackmailed her and stomped all over her old wrinkly heart, she still wants you.”

“I didn’t stomp over anything. And I’m taking your old wrinkly statement as an insult.”

“Yeah right. You love being the ripe age of 39. ‘I get sexier with age, y/n’.” You quoted, attempting to mimic his low raspy accent. He raised a brow and immediately went for your sensitive spots, squeezing your waist with light twinkling fingers in an attempt to tickle you. “Stop!” You squealed, hitting his hands away. “Stop it Harry!”

“Admit I get sexier as I age. Admit it.” He threw back, wrapping one arm around your waist while using the other to tickle you. 

“I hate you!” You tried to push his hand off, laughing and wiggling and squealing all at the same time. It didn’t help that you two were still very much naked. “Whatever. You’re sexier as you age.”

The tickling stopped instantly and Harry had this smug grin on his face, happy that he beat you. “Thank you.”

“You’re a child.” You rolled your eyes.

“Come on. Finish the story.” He laughed softly, looping his arms around your waist. 

“I don’t even know what I was up to before your ego got bruised.”

He chose to ignore that statement. “You were explaining how obsessed Tracey is with me.”

“Oh, right. She’s obsessed with you so obviously she won’t be scared and she’s not threatened by me. She really didn’t think that I’d retaliate in any way even if I told her I would and now look at her. I think I handled it pretty fucking perfectly.” You announced proudly. 

It felt a little evil to be so happy over someone elses pain. You had ruined Tracey’s life and yet you were satisfied. It felt justified. In the beginning you never wanted to use your threats against her. You just wanted to be left alone, even if that meant sitting on evidence that she was having an affair. Now though… you felt worse about keeping it a secret than using it to get back at her.

“I’d say so.” Harry laughed. “How did it all happen?”

“She goes to pilates on Sundays so I waited until she was gone and went over to speak with Oscar. All I did was tell the truth and show him one of the photos of her and Ethan. I felt really bad for him, actually. He believed me even before I showed him a photo but he still wanted to see it, probably for proof so he doesn’t have to pay her out.” 

“Well shit.” Harry laughed, quickly turning you both around so you got some of the hot water. “He clearly didn’t take it well.”

You shook your head. “No. I could tell he was trying not to cry. I feel like I should’ve told him earlier.” You looked away for a moment, “it feels wrong to use one persons tragedy to get back at someone else. Like this is probably the worst thing to ever happen to him and I used it to get back at her. He doesn’t deserve that. Neither do his kids.”

“I know. The truth had to come out some way, though. It always does. Don’t blame yourself too much for it just because you benefited from it in some way. ” He grabbed your chin gently, guiding you to look back at him. “How did your mum react when you told her about us, anyway?” 

You were glad he was switching back to your mum because you really didn’t want to dwell to much on Tracey of all people. Or the shittiness you felt. 

“She already knew before Tracey started talking about us. She had this look on her face like she was waiting for me to outright say it.” 

“Wow. Really?”

“Yeah… she said it was mother’s intuition or whatever. I’m surprised she waited this long to say something about it, to be honest. She usually can’t keep her mouth shut and she already had a glass of wine when we spoke about it.”

Harry smiled at your comment, smoothing his hands over your back. “Was she upset about it? What did she say?”

“We spoke about it for a long time. She wasn’t upset but not thrilled either. I told her how happy I am and a little bit about our relationship so far and she seemed happy that it’s going well, but she’s still worried. I think she’s worried about the age gap and… well, your reputation. She doesn’t want me to get hurt.” 

You didn’t really want to go through the entire conversation with him. Nothing bad happened but it also felt like something that just you and your mum needed to know about. She gave you a lot of advice that made you feel lucky to have someone like her in your life. She was concerned but she actually listened to you, even when the conversation went a little wild, she listened to you and shared her own opinion as well. It went as well as you could’ve hoped. 

“My reputation as in…”

“Your one night stands. Obviously, I assured her that she didn’t have to worry about it. She thinks you’re charming but I think that also scares her. You’re the first real relationship I’ve had and it’s not exactly conventional and… I don’t know.” You sighed, looking away for a moment, “She said that she hoped my first love would be someone my age, that I’d date more before feeling so strongly about someone.”

Harry didn’t like the sound of that. So far, your mum’s concerns were valid ones and ones he expected. He never thought it would be easy or something your parents would understand right away and he prepared himself for that. They weren’t much older than him so navigating his relationship with them and you would take time. 

But he didn’t like the way those words came out of your mouth. That your mum hoped your first love was someone else and that you had more experience with other people before settling down. You two weren’t exactly planning for a baby or anything, it had barely been four months, and neither of you put any expectations on your relationship. You were young and he never imagined himself as the marrying type so you both just wanted to date and love each other and see how things evolved.

But you were still in it for the long haul with each other. This wasn’t a short term arrangement or something casual. You two loved each other. 

For Harry, he had already experienced heartbreak in all forms and he had grown from that. The Harry that survived his very first love was a completely different person to now. It wasn’t the only thing that shaped him to be the man he was today, but it contributed a lot to his life. He was at a point in his life now where meeting you and falling in love with you had completely changed how he thought his life would go.

He wanted to settle down with you. He couldn’t picture a future without you in it and you made it very clear that you loved him more than anything and you wanted to have that future with him. 

But you didn’t have what Harry had. You didn’t have years of making mistakes and meeting people and exploring yourself. Of figuring out who you are and what you want in life. You can do that with a partner and Harry knew he could show you the world and provide experiences you might not have if you were by yourself, but if you took the romance and his undying love for you out of the equation, would he encourage you to give your all to him? 

If it were anyone else, he’d tell them to keep their options open and grab any opportunities given to them. Was he holding you back from that?

“Do you wish you did? Have more relationships before me?” He solemnly asked, brows knitted together while he waited your reaction. 

That was a hard question to answer. But you had no regrets in dating Harry and that’s all that mattered. “In some ways, yes. I wish I had more experience in how to navigate even being in a relationship. But mostly no. There’s no one else I’d want to share my firsts with. In a lot of ways, you’re my first everything and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.” You cupped his face, running your thumbs under his cheeks. “Loving you is the happiest I’ve ever been and hopefully now, the people we love will be part of that too.”

Harry’s gaze softened and time seemed to still around you two. Having this conversation in such a vulnerable place like a shower only added to the intimacy of it all. You had a way of knocking the air out of his lungs. It happened with a look or a sigh, your gorgeous smile. And it definitely happened when you said things like this. 

“I want to give you the world, y/n. I want to give you everything you want. You tell me and it’s yours.” He murmured, gazing deep in your eyes.

“I just want you.” You whispered, “It’s all I’ve ever wanted, really.”

His eyes flickered between yours as he tipped his head forward to rest his forehead against yours. His wet hair dripped down your cheek, running down your jaw and neck, all the way until it joined the water at your feet. “I just want you too. Always.” 

You smiled and pulled his mouth down towards you, pressing your body against his to get impossibly closer to him. He wrapped his arms fully around you, squeezing you against him so every inch of your pretty soft skin melted into his. Your mouths blended into one, lips brushing together in a slow languid kiss. 

His tongue slid across your bottom lip and you freely gave him access to your mouth so he could slip in and run his tongue against yours. God, everything about it was so sexy. The steam clouding over you both, how good your wet bodies felt pressed together… the way his cock started to harden against your thigh, unable to spring up in that way you loved due to how close you two were. 

“I think…” You gasped, breaking free to run your mouth over his jaw. “You should finish your shower…” You pressed kisses in a path towards his ear, kissing his lobe once you got there before playfully tugging at it between your teeth. Harry whimpered in your ear, reaching down to squeeze your ass in both hands. “...and join me in bed.”

With that, you kissed his neck then unwrapped yourself from his arms, smirking as you slid past him to grab your towel. His hand snapped out suddenly, clasping around your wrist. “Don’t go.”

Harry looked like a starved man. His chest was heaving, cock heavy and hard between his legs and his lips all red and puffy from your kisses. You would’ve fucked him right there if shower sex didn’t scare the hell out of you. 

“I’ll get you a towel.” You blew him a little kiss, ignoring the crazed look in his eyes and walking away. Oh did you love a tease. 

It wasn’t long before Harry had you pinned to your bed, grinding his hips in slow deliberate strokes. Your entire love making was just that, making love. It was slow and deep, full of so many kisses you could barely breathe. His body was pressed heavy on top of you and he made sure you felt every inch of him that you could. Every inch of his cock, every inch of his heavy muscle and soft sweaty skin.

The window above your bed was still open, a clear view of the moon above your heads. It was a view you two decided was worth putting your pillows down by your feet when you were finished so you could lay the opposite direction and look outside. You had a nice view of the water, though it was particularly dark outside and the moon was so bright it took your entire process. 

“I still can’t believe she knows.” Harry murmured, looking up from where his head rested on your chest.

“Who?” You whispered, missing the context of his comment, “My mum?” 

“Mmh.” he nodded, looking down to where your hands were joined and resting on your stomach. “It feels… good. I don’t know how to explain it, but it feels like we’re moving onto the next step.”

“I feel the same. I feel better knowing she’s supportive. I had a feeling she would be, but it’s nice knowing I’ve got her on my side when we tell my dad.”

“Mmh.” He hummed in agreement, looking at the string of pearls around your neck. You put them back on after the shower and he found himself mesmerised by the way they twinkled under the moon light. “y’know I told my mum I was seeing someone. After our weekend away.”

“You did?” you frowned slightly.

“I didn’t say anything too personal or anything because we were keeping it quiet.” He assured, sensing the slight panic in your voice. “But I wanted her to know I have someone in my life who makes me happy.” 

You smiled, that slight beat of worry completely gone. “What did you tell her about me?”

“Not much. Just your name and that you’re studying. I didn’t want to show her any photos without asking you. She gets a bit excited and I knew if I sent her something she’d tell everyone about it.” He rolled his eyes, but you could tell by his tone that he loved that quality about her. Pausing, he looked from the moon to you. “I think you’d like her.”

“She sounds like my type of gal.” You grinned, “I’m excited to meet her.” 

“I think she’d cry if you said that. Happy tears of course.” 

You laughed softly, swiping your fingers through his hair. It had dried down after the shower and your activities and became all fluffy and dishevelled. You loved it in its natural state.

“Would you like to meet her?” Harry asked suddenly, his voice soft so only you could hear it. There was no one in your apartment but you yet the moment was so intimate and quiet, he didn’t want to ruin it. “We could facetime?” He looked up at you, expression hopeful for your response. 

“Harry I’d love that.” 

“Really?” His eyes widened ever so slightly, like he was surprised you’d agree. “You would?”

“Of course I would.” You assured, smiling while dancing your fingers across his jaw. “Set it up. Whenever suits her.” 

“Okay.” He grinned, reaching up to kiss you quickly before settling back down on your chest to look out at the moon, “I will.”

It felt so right and natural to take this next step. There were nerves about it, of course, and you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t scared that Anne wouldn’t like you or that you’d make a fool out of yourself. But you knew a decent amount about her and even if you didn’t, you knew you’d love her simply based off the fact you loved Harry. That was enough. 

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[distorted59]

A Week In San Francisco pt.2

summary: after sharing a heated kiss the night before, James and y/n are a little on edge when they visit the beach.

pairing: Kill 'Em All!James x fem!reader

warnings: nsfw/smut, fingering, handjob, unprotected sex, p in v, james likes to beg a little, cute lil' aftercare in the end

word count: 3344

A/N: sorry it took a while! honestly took me longer than expected lol. hope you enjoy it, babes! xo

part 1

✪

The fact that she even got a few hours of sleep is a fucking miracle itself. The butterflies in her stomach almost made it impossible to fall asleep. 

But, here she is. Sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in her hand. She’s wearing a beach-sundress and a simple bikini underneath. And honestly, she’s really excited to go to the beach. 

Kirk shuffles into the kitchen, wearing his glasses and his hair is messy. His favorite ‘Dracula’ t-shirt is completely wrinkled and slightly raised, showing his belly. 

“Morning,” y/n grins. “I see you slept very well?”

"Mhm." Kirk kisses the top of her head and yawns. 

He goes over to the counter and pours himself a cup of coffee, he is a bit wobbly but he can still keep his balance. He goes to sit down next to y/n and smiles at her.

“How did you sleep? Did everything go okay last night?” 

She almost chokes on her coffee, but luckily she doesn’t. A slight blush creeps on her face. Y/n quickly puts out her cigarette in the ashtray in front of her and tries to hide her blush with a smile. 

“Yeah, I slept fine!” She assures him. 

"Great." Kirk moves his hand through his hair. “You know, James told me he spoke to you last night.”

“He did?” She looks into his eyes. “What did he say?” 

“That he told you we’re going to the beach today!” Kirk grins excitedly. “I see you’re all ready to go!” 

Y/n breathes out slowly through her nose. It would be kinda dumb to immediately tell a guy you kissed his sister, right? But, hey. Anything can happen with these guys. 

“Yeah, you know I love going to the beach!” 

They sit in a comfortable silence for a bit, sipping their coffee and enjoying the morning sun that is shining through the kitchen window. 

Until that is interrupted by a fucking war cry.

“Cliff! I swear to god, man! I claimed the bathroom first!” 

“You’re too slow, Hetfield!”     

Lars walks into the kitchen rolling his eyes, “Morning, guys.” He opens the refrigerator and grabs a carton of orange juice. “How did your first night in the Metallica Mansion treat you, y/n?” 

“It treated me wonderfully, thank you.” 

“Great!” He smiles. “That’s really good to hear.”

Later on, Cliff walks in with a big grin on his face. He sits down next to Kirk and looks at y/n and her cigs. “Good morning, can I?” 

“Morning! ‘Course you can.” She slides the pack towards him and he lights one. Cliff thanks her and shoots her a wink, y/n nods back and grins. 

“Dude, are you flirting with my baby sister?” Kirk leans back in his chair and raises his brows.

“Me? Oh, I wouldn’t dare.” Cliff grins, “Can’t say I’m speaking for everyone, though…” 

“Morning everybody!” James walks in, unusually cheerful for this time of the day. “Is there still some coffee left?” 

“Yeah,” Kirk says. “Over on the counter”

“Thanks, dude!” He grabs a mug and pours himself some, leaning against the counter and eying y/n curiously. 

It’s almost like she can feel it, because she turns around and smiles at James. She holds up her mug. “James?” Her voice is sickly sweet, oh yeah, today is going to be that type of day. “Could you pour me another one?”

His eyes almost popped out of his skull, he hadn’t even really noticed what she was wearing. The way she’s looking and talking to him is making James weak at the knees. 

“Y-yeah, of course!" He takes the mug from her hands and shakily pours the coffee in, trying not to spill. 

The other guys are talking about what they're planning on doing at the beach today. Kirk and Lars are arguing over something and Cliff doesn’t know what conversation he wants to keep up with. 

“Here you go.” He decides to sit next to her this time and puts on his best charms. 

“Thank you!” She grins. 

“So,” James starts. “Did you sleep okay, sweetheart?” 

Her heart skips a beat at the nickname and she looks at him without breaking eye contact.

“I slept great. How about you, sweetheart?” she grins playfully. 

“Me too, me too.” He looks into her eyes, not saying anything else. 

The argument between Kirk and Lars has quieted down and one of them lets out a cough.

“So, is everyone ready to go?” Lars speaks up. 

“Yes, more than ready.” Kirk eyes James and y/n suspiciously. “Let's get moving.” 

Everyone gets ready and grabs their stuff; towels, sunscreen, and beer. You know, the essentials. 

It’s a short walk to the beach, but the morning heat isn’t really working with them. James keeps trying to walk next to y/n, but Kirk doesn’t allow it. everytime James tries to pick up his pace, Kirk closes the gap between him and his sister. 

“What are you doing, dude?” y/n raises her brows at Kirk. 

“Just walking next to you, is that a problem?” He nudges her shoulder.

“No, but…” She starts.

“Good, we’re almost there.” Kirk cuts her off and smiles. 

They arrive at the beach and find a good spot, putting their towels down and enjoying the warm sun on their already tanned skin. 

Y/n takes off her dress and sits down on her towel, all of the boys take a quick glance at her and sit down as well. Kirk glares at the three, but doesn’t say anything. 

“Aw, man!” Kirk groans in annoyance. “We forgot the radio!” 

“What? No way, I definitely grabbed it before we left!” Cliff frowns and looks around. 

“Well, It’s not here.” Lars sighs. “We’ll go grab it.” He grabs Kirk’s arm and drags him along. 

Kirk protests and looks over at y/n, who is grinning at her brother and gives him a small wave. 

“Why do I have to come along?” He whines, but walks with Lars anyway. 

Y/n lays down and shuts her eyes. Feeling some movement beside her, she holds her hand in front of her face so that the sun won't bother her eyes, and looks up.

“Can I lay next to you?” James asks. 

“Of course!” She tries to hide her excitement. 

“Thanks, sweetheart.” He grins and lays down. 

Cliff starts laughing and lights another cigarette. He sits up and cracks open a beer. “You’re welcome, guys.” 

Both James and y/n turn to look at Cliff with confusion, this only makes him laugh more. 

“What?” He grins. “You got a little more freedom with Kirk gone, right?” 

“Dude, what the hell are you talking about?” James raises his brows.

“The radio, I hid it under my bed.” 

Y/n starts laughing too, she nudges James and hands him a bottle of sunscreen. “Could you get my back?”

“Yeah!” James' eyes widen and so does his smile. "Definitely!" 

She turns around and loosens her top, making sure he gets every inch of her back. James puts some lotion in his hands and starts putting it on her back, squeezing every curve. 

“I still don’t get the radio thing.” He whispers. 

“Babe, he’s buying us some time.”

“Babe?” James grins. “Time for… oh, oh.”

His hands go a little lower, they slide over her waist and his fingers go down to  her waist. He goes back to her shoulders and he gets closer to her ear. 

“Could you put your arms up for me, babe?”  He whispers. 

She complies as she simply can’t answer him. She wanted to reply with a snarky comeback, but she couldn't. His voice sending shivers down her spine, she can feel his breath against her hair. 

“There we go.” James gives the back of her neck a slight squeeze and his hands slide down her sides. He slowly caresses the side of her breasts and then quickly goes to her back, tying her bikini back up. “You’re all set, gorgeous.”

“Thanks.” She breathes out. Holy fucking shit, his hands feel good. 

He lays down on his stomach and scoots a little closer to her, his fingers playing with the back of her top. 

“Or do you want me to keep going?” He whispers. “I could if you let me.”

“Where are you getting all this confidence from?” She looks into his eyes, trying to read him. 

James smiles and his hand wanders lower, sliding to the side of her bikini bottom. 

“I finally figured out what I want.” 

“And that is?”

“You, y/n. I need you.” He looks at her lips. “The way your lips felt on mine is driving me crazy.” 

“Hm, you are a good kisser.” y/n smiles and turns to lay on her side. 

“So are you, baby.” He slides his hand over her waist and he stops at her hips.

For a moment, they just stare at each other, he leans closer to her face. James’ weaves his fingers between the fabric of her bottoms, his gaze wandering as he admires her curves. 

“Careful there, big guy.” She whispers, teasing him with a smirk. “We don’t want to give all these people a show here, do we?”

She glances at some beachgoers who are watching them fool around. She feels his eyes on her and turns to face him, raising an eyebrow flirtatiously.

“Hm, I don’t care.” James grins, leaning closer to her. “Please, I want you.”

“Don’t you think you need some too?” y/n grabs the sunscreen and holds it up, a mischievous smile on her face. “I wouldn't want you to get sunburned, baby” 

“Oh, you’re mean.” he groans. 

“So, you don’t want it?” She raises her brows.  

“I want… something.” James looks at her through his bangs. “Please?” 

She chuckles and lays down on her stomach again. The sun warming her skin and the waves crashing on the beach almost lull her to sleep. James huffs beside her and lays on his back. His hand creeps over her arm, tracing small circles over her soft skin. 

After a while of enjoying the sun and each other's company, Lars and Kirk finally show up with the radio.

“There you are, what the hell took you so long?” Cliff speaks up.

“Why’d you hide it under your bed, dude?” Kirk huffs, wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand. 

“Dude, what?” Cliff tries to hide his smile. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, brother.”

The three bicker about the radio and y/n smiles, slowly closing her eyes again. The soft static of the radio and the crashing waves are really calming. She sighs softly and dozes off. 

Y/n wakes up a little while later, not knowing how much time has passed. Her back feels a little sore and she immediately winces, she still got burned. She looks over at James, who also fell asleep and gasps. 

“James!” She shakes him slightly. 

"Mhm?" He opens his eyes. “Yeah?” 

His entire chest and stomach are red, along with his face. This idiot didn’t apply any sunscreen at all. 

“Dude! You got burned!” Lars yells. “Like, bad!” 

“What?” James moves towards Lars and winces. “Ow, fuck! that burns.” 

“Yeah, no shit.” y/n sighs. “You are so fucking stubborn.” 

“It’s gonna hurt even more in the morning.” Kirk grimaces and looks at his sister. “You’re back looks fucked up too, sis.”

Y/n nods her head at Kirk. She stands up and puts on her dress, grabbing her stuff. 

“You have to get out of the sun, James.” She says. “I have some Aloe vera lotion in my bag at the house, you can use it.” 

James' eyes widen as he looks up at her, is this actually happening? 

“Are you going with him?” Kirk raises his brows.

“Yes, I am.” 

James doesn’t even speak, he is too busy grabbing his stuff. He’s almost like a madman, trying to find his shirt. 

“Okay,” Kirk kisses the side of her head. “Be careful.” He gives her a knowing look and squeezes her shoulder. 

“Ow!” She winces. “Kirk, that hurts!” 

“Sorry!” He chuckles. 

She walks away and nudges her head, motioning James to follow her. He doesn’t waste any time and runs after her. Lars throws him the keys to the house.

“Have fun, fuckers!” Lars yells after them.

“Dude!” Kirk groans and throws his shirt at Lars. “Please don’t!” 

James and y/n walk home together, the walk back almost seems slower than it was before. Their hands dangerously close to each other, every time their fingers brush they share a look. He shoots her a quick and excited smile and she returns it. 

James tries to unlock the front door but his hands are too shaky, eventually he gets the key in and opens it. 

“It’s in my room, come on.” She grabs his hand and pulls him down the hallway.

They both walk into her room and she pushes him to the mattress. “Sit.” 

James obliges and takes his shirt off, slightly uncomfortable with the feeling of the fabric against his sensitive skin. 

Y/n finds the lotion from her bag and walks closer to him, crawling onto the mattress and pushing him on his back. “Can I sit?” she motions to his lap.

James nods his head so hard it almost falls off. “Fuck yes, you can.” 

She smirks and straddles him, both of them letting out a quiet gasp. She can feel him hardening in his shorts and he can feel her heat. 

“Mmh” She hums softly and starts to put the lotion on his chest. 

“Ah!” He gasps. “That’s cold, y/n!” 

She giggles and continues to take care of his sunburn. Her hands slide over his chest, softly squeezing her fingers into his shoulders. James looks up at her with nothing but love in his eyes, he squeezes her hips making her moan softly. 

“Do that again.” James whispers. 

She grins and leans down to kiss his chest, making her way up to his neck. He lets out a growl and leans up, smashing his lips onto hers. She kisses him back passionately and smiles into the kiss. James’ grip on her hips tighten as he flips her around, laying her on her back. 

“James!” She gasps. “My back, remember?” 

“Don’t worry, baby.” He whispers. “I’ll take care of you.” 

He rubs the inside of her thighs and he goes a little higher, feeling how drenched her cunt already is. 

“You’re already so wet for me, baby.” He smiles and starts kissing her neck. “Gonna make you feel so good.”

“James, please…” She looks up at him, begging for him to stop teasing. 

“What? I have to prepare my girl, don’t I?” He smirks. 

She pushes him back and takes off her dress, along with her bikini top. James takes off his shorts, his cock springing free, begging for some attention. 

“Hmm, so pretty, baby.” He mutters, his eyes not leaving her breasts. “Fuck, you look perfect.”

James leaves another trail of kisses down her neck and breasts, his fingers playing with the hem of her bottoms. His other hand touching and squeezing her breast, while leaning up to kiss her lips hungrily. 

“Can I take these off, baby?” James whispers against her lips. 

“Yes, Fuck. Yes, you can.” y/n’s breath hitches in her throat. She looks up at James, her eyes glossy and her lips parted. 

He slides them off, desperate to feel her cunt around his cock. James slides his hand down her belly and starts to run circles on her clit. She gasps and reaches for his cock, starting with slow and agonizing strokes. 

“Fuck, you really like to play mean.” James stifles a moan and rubs his fingers over her folds. 

“Don’t hold your moans in, baby.” She pouts. “Wanna hear you too.” 

Y/n starts stroking him a bit faster, she feels her hand getting covered in his pre-cum. 

“Ah! ngh- Fuck!” James lets out the moan that has been stuck in his throat. “mhm! y/n… gonna… gonna prep you for me, okay?” 

She nods and kisses him again, moaning into the kiss as he slowly slides a finger into her drenching cunt. He starts finger-fucking her at a steady pace, the room is filled with sloppy wet noises and their moans. 

He adds another finger and goes faster, curling up his index and middle finger to hit the right spot. 

“Fuck, James!” She moans. “Your fingers… they… feel so good!” 

“Yeah? You like how I work my hands on you, baby?” He groans and goes faster. y/n’s hand starts tightening around his cock. 

“If you keep squeezin’ me like that, I’m not gonna last long.” James chuckles and leans down to kiss her again.

“Baby, ‘m close, please!” She moans and lets go of his cock.

“Cum on my fingers, baby.” He curls his fingers deeper into her and feels her cunt squeeze around them. All he can think about is how her pussy is gonna feel around his cock.

“Fuck!” y/n cums all over his fingers, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. 

James pulls his fingers out and sticks one of them into his mouth, tasting her juices. He lets out a delighted moan and sticks his other finger in her mouth. She sucks it clean without a single thought, looking up at him through her lashes. 

“Wanna be inside you…” He mumbles. “Please?” His face gets a little more flushed. 

“It’s cute that you ask so nicely.” She smiles up at him and guides his cock to her drenched pussy. “You gonna fuck me good, baby?”

“Mhm.” He slides his cock over her folds. “Gonna fuck you so good, baby.” 

He slowly pushes it inside of her and starts bucking his hips into her. Y/n cries out in pleasure, he’s hitting all the right spots. James leans down to kiss her again and thrusts a little faster. 

“Fuck!” James whines. “Been wanting to feel this pussy for so long!” He almost starts crying with how good it feels, how good she’s making him feel.

“James…” She moans “Keep going like that, please!” 

“I will, baby. I will.”

She doesn’t feel the sunburn on her back anymore, she only feels the incredible amount of pleasure James is giving her. She wraps her legs around his waist which makes James pound into her even harder. 

“Gettin’ close, baby.” James whispers against her neck. “I’m gonna need to pull out.” 

She just nods, she doesn’t care what he does to her. She just wants to cum around his cock. 

His thrusts are getting sloppier, meaning he’s gonna cum soon. He lets out some more strained moans and whimpers. 

“Gonna… gonna cum.” He pants.

“Me too, baby.” y/n whimpers.

He makes her cum, her stomach exploding with pleasure. She’s almost seeing stars with how hard she’s squeezing her eyes shut. James lets out a grunt and quickly pulls out, finishing all over her stomach. He keeps fucking his fist to ride out his high. 

“Shit…” James breathes heavily. 

“Yeah…” Her chest moves up and down, trying to calm down from the pure ecstacy sensation.

“I’m sorry for the mess.” James has a stupid grin on his face, but that can’t hide the tremendous blush which reappears on his face. “Let me clean you up.”

He grabs one of the beach towels that were scattered on the floor and starts wiping her stomach. He throws the towel on the ground and lays down on her chest. 

“You were amazing, baby.” y/n smiles and kisses him tiredly. 

“So, were you, babe.” James smiles into the kiss. 

They lay in each other's arms for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence between them. He has pulled her into his arms and they are softly caressing each other. 

“Can I sleep here with you tonight?” He whispers.

“What do you think, baby?” She giggles. “You just screwed me silly, of course you can.” 

[genshinluvr]

Keep Your Voice Down

Pairings: Al Haitham x Isekai'd!Reader

Summary: Al Haitham fucks you on the Grand Sage's desk at House of Daena. You tried your best to keep your voice down, but the feeling of Al Haitham hammering your insides with his fat cock makes it hard for you to keep your mouth shut.

Note: This is part of my ongoing Isekai'd!Reader series. Any individual character mini-fics are part of the Isekai'd!Reader series ^^ The mini-fics is made to give each man a decent amount of screen time compared to the stories that are much longer and can be posted at any time within less than 5k words. As previously stated in my other smuts, the smuts that I type out do lean toward female!reader/afab!reader. I do use gender-neutral pronouns unless stated otherwise. It's been a while since I've written smut, so this is just to test out the waters since it has been months since I have published smut. Minors, DO NOT INTERACT! Anyway, I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Horribly written smut, public sex, slight exhibitionism, sex on a desk, hair pulling, Al Haitham spitting in your mouth, light choking, slight voyeurism

You don’t know how you ended up in this position; the last thing you remember is Al Haitham showing you the Grand Sage’s office that sits at the very top of House of Daena. Al Haitham greeted you while you were studying and offered to show you what the Grand Sage’s office looked like because he knew you were curious about it and had asked him and Kaveh a few times.

When the two of you took the elevator up to the Grand Sage’s office, standing side by side. The Grand Sage’s office is bigger than you had expected it to be. Not only was the office big, but it was also quite spacious. Despite it being a big office with bookshelves towering over you two, it feels a little bit empty. You remembered Al Haitham wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close to his chest when the both of you approached the Grand Sage’s desk.

“We’re not going to get into trouble, are we?” You ask, looking up at Al Haitham as he tilts your head up and leans down. You close your eyes and feel his lips brush against yours, his right hand caressing your face.

Al Haitham whispers, “We won’t get caught as long as you keep your voice down.” Al Haitham closes the distance between you two.

Your surroundings become blurry afterward, and you find yourself propped up on the Grand Sage’s desk. Your arms are trembling beneath you; both of your hands are planted on the wooden desk, and sweat trickles down your face and splatters on the Grand Sage’s desk. A small whimper escapes from your lips as you shut your eyes tightly, biting down on your lips as you try to refrain from letting out a single sound. The feeling of Al Haitham’s cock sliding in and out of your entrance makes your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“Remember to keep your voice down. You don’t want to get caught now, do you?” Al Haitham murmurs into your ears, wrapping his left arm around your waist while his right-hand pulls you close to him.

You let out an audible gasp when Al Haitham sends a powerful thrust into your heat. You clench your jaws, and your arms collapse underneath you. Al Haitham’s hands make their way up to your hair; he weaves his hands into the strands of your hair and pulls your hair back while continuously thrusting his cock into you. 

You whimper softly and claw at the wooden table. “We’re going to get caught, Al Haitham,” you whine softly. Your body jerks with each thrust. You feel the tip of Al Haitham’s cock kiss your cervix, causing you to wince and let out a choked gasp. 

Al Haitham chuckles and reaches for your neck, pulling your head back and pressing his lips against your temple. “The only time we’ll get caught is if you don’t keep your voice down,” Al Haitham murmurs into your ears.

“I-I’m trying to keep my voice down! But—” Your sentence is cut off when Al Haitham thrusts deeply into your entrance. Your hands fly up to grab Al Haitham’s biceps, digging your nails into his arms. “Fuck,” you breathed.

Al Haitham snorts. “But what?” Al Haitham smirks. He grabs onto your chin and turns your head to the side, and gazes into your eyes with a teasing smile on his face. Al Haitham continues to ram his thick cock into your warm cavern, pressing his hips against your ass. Al Haitham tugs on your hair to grab your attention; you look up at him, eyes glazed over, your mouth agape, your tongue lolled out of your mouth. 

“Aw, look at you. You’re so drunk on my cock that you can’t even speak,” Al Haitham mocks, pouting down at you. You take deep gulps of air and squeeze your eyes shut when you feel embarrassment prick at you. You open your mouth to reply, but Al Haitham quickly pulls his dick out of you and forces you to lie down on the Grand Sage’s desk. Al Haitham spreads your legs open and rubs his cock between your legs, coating them in your slick before penetrating your hole again. 

You squeal loudly when he enters back into your wet heat, balls deep inside of you. 

Al Haitham covers your mouth with his left hand before hissing, “I told you to keep your voice down! I don’t care how far up we are in House of Daena; people are going to hear us if you can’t keep quiet.”

You huff and wrap your legs around his slim waist, pulling him closer to you to the point where his hips are pressing up against your open legs. “We wouldn’t get caught in the act if we did this at the estate instead,” You grumble. 

A deep grunt gets caught in your throat when Al Haitham slams his hip against your hips, the mushroom tip of his cock kissing your g-spot. Your eyes shut tightly, and every time Al Haitham plunges his cock in and out of you, stars dance behind your eyelids. Al Haitham’s hands slide up to your neck and lightly squeeze them, cutting off your air supply.

“Open your mouth,” Al Haitham orders, clenching his jaws and thrusting into your core with each word.

You whimper and open your mouth reluctantly. Al Haitham leans down and gathers his saliva before spitting into your mouth. He closes your mouth with the hand that was lightly choking you. You stare up at Al Haitham with glazed-over eyes while his spit remains in your mouth.

“Swallow,” Al Haitham instructs.

You gulp down Al Haitham’s saliva and open your mouth, sticking your tongue out to show that you swallowed his saliva. Al Haitham smirks and presses his lips on your forehead. Al Haitham rests both of his arms over your shoulders, pressing his chest against yours (technically, his chest is on your face, but close enough), rutting his hips against yours. 

With each roll of his hips, his pubic bone rubs against your bundle of nerves, making you jolt in his arms, and your walls clench around his thick cock. You bite down on your lips until you taste copper; you tighten your legs around Al Haitham’s waist and begin moving along with him. Al Haitham reaches down and begins to rub the swollen and throbbing spongy tissue, pinching and rolling them between his thumb and index finger.

You jolt beneath Al Haitham, clawing at his biceps and arms as you get closer and closer to your climax. The knot in your lower stomach is about to break at any moment as Al Haitham drills his dick into your entrance. You squeeze your eyes shut and shake him frantically, “Al Haitham, I’m cumming!” You whisper loudly, the pitch of your voice getting higher.

“Cum for me, sweetheart. Cum around my cock,” Al Haitham growls. Al Haitham clenches his jaws and slams his cock into you over and over, relishing in the feeling of your tight spongey walls squeezing around his cock. 

You let out a breathless gasp, back arching, your head is thrown back against the desk, and the tight knot that was once in your lower stomach suddenly breaks. You cum around Al Haitham’s cock, biting down on his shoulders to muffle your screams. Al Haitham lets out a deep groan, shooting his hot, thick, creamy cum deep inside of you. Al Haitham takes a deep breath and collapses on top of you without removing his cock from your entrance, plugging in your and his cum.

“You were supposed to keep your voice down, Al Haitham,” you whisper, poking his large biceps lightly with a tired grin on your face.

Al Haitham snorts and rolls his eyes, scratching your head lightly. He lifts himself off of you slightly and gazes down at you with a soft look on his face. Al Haitham brushes the strands of your hair away from your sweaty forehead and tucks them behind your ears.

“How are you feeling?” Al Haitham asks softly, twirling a piece of your hair around his finger.

You hesitate for a moment and give him a smile. “Full and sore,” you reply, earning a snort from Al Haitham.

Al Haitham rolls his eyes. “Oh, please. I was going easy on you,” He reaches down and pinches your cheeks lightly. 

Your eyes widen, and you prop yourself up on the Grand Sage’s desk. “That was you going easy on me?!” You ask, looking at Al Haitham incredulously. 

Al Haitham nods. “That is correct.”

Before you can say anything else, Al Haitham slowly pulls his softening cock out from your entrance. Both of you groan and let out shaky breaths. You pull your pants and underwear up while Al Haitham tucks his dick back into his underwear and zips up his pants. You adjust your Akademiya uniform and hop off the table. Your legs suddenly feel like jello, making you collapse into Al Haitham’s arms.

“Oh? It looks like I went hard on you after all,” Al Haitham hums, looking down at you with an amused look on his face, smiling down at you, his eyebrow quirked up. 

“You two are disgusting,” A voice interrupts you and Al Haitham.

Your and Al Haitham’s head snap towards the direction where the voice is coming from; you and Al Haitham’s eyes land on Kaveh standing where the elevator is, his arms over his chest with a prominent scowl on his face.

“How long have you been standing there?” Al Haitham raises his eyebrows at the flustered and disgusted blond man.

Kaveh shudders and dramatically gags. “I’ve been here long enough to be traumatized by what I have just witnessed,” Kaveh says, his nose scrunching up and pinching the bridge of his nose. You and Al Haitham say anything after Kaveh’s response. You couldn’t help but notice the growing issue in Kaveh’s pants and the growing discomfort from the blond man. Maybe you and Al Haitham should have kept your voices down and have sex somewhere that isn’t public and where anyone could walk in at any moment.

Note: Yeah, idk how to feel about this smut. It has been a while, and I'm a bit rusty on writing smut. So, apologies if it's not as decent as my past smuts; I'm hoping to write smut very soon (Crave 5, pretty much) because it has been a few months since the fourth part of Crave with Ayato and Thoma. The mini-fics will be posted here and there when I get the chance to make and post them! Just a heads up, not all of them will contain smut. Unless you want me to make a smut series? 👀🤔 Anyway, I'm not entirely sure if I'll be tagging people in the mini-fics... If you guys want to be tagged, I can do that! ^^ I'll be making a new taglist form very soon since it's officially my winter break :> For my new and returning readers, I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

Read more of my works on my Masterlist | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^

[megxplryxb]

Minors DNI...

Not my gif!

Warnings: Mentions of sex, heavy flirting

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Imagine....Robin dragging you to one of Steve's stupid parties and it’s honestly the last place you want to be, having already had to endure 8 hours in Family Video with him that day. Steve’s already in the corner of his kitchen, looking like a million dollars, talking to some blonde you recognise from the video store and you hate how it’s bothering you that she has her well manicured hands on his biceps but you grit your teeth, grabbing a drink and downing it quickly (your first of several that night). Of course it’s all part of Steve’s big plan to make you jealous, cause he’s really only got eyes for one girl. But you’re too damn stubborn to admit that you might actually like your handsome coworker because you didn't want to be one of those stupid girls that fell for Steve The fucking Hair Harrington....

When Steve grows bored of the lingering looks you've been exchanging all night, getting tired of pretending the guys lining up to make their move on you weren't irritating him, he walks toward you, a confident smirk across his face as he lifts his arm over your head to lean on the wall, closing you in.

You try your best to look displeased in his presence but when he boldly presses his body against yours, telling you just how pretty you look in your little red dress, you know instantly you're done for, cause you couldn't keep pretending that you didn't want to fuck Steve Harrington's brains out.

“So, princess, what exactly do you suggest we do about this sexual tension between us?” He whispers so causally in your ear and you're cursing at the way he has your thighs clenching just from how he was looking at you. Like you were the only person in the room.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Harrington." You reply, smiling sweetly, as Steve bites the corner of his bottom lip, grinning.

"So those hot little denim shorts you wore to work today weren't for my benefit? Like you didn't knock over those tapes on purpose so you could bend over in front of me, sweetheart..." He teases, stealing a little moan from you as his fingers begin to dance on the bare skin of your backless dress and you weren't sure how much longer you could stand not kissing him.

"Liked what you saw, Stevie?" You ask boldly, knowing it wasn't the alcohol setting your skin on fire now. It was all down to him.

"I think you already know the answer to that, sweetheart. But if you want me to admit it, then yeah, got me hard as a fuckin' rock."

"Did you touch yourself thinking about it?" You whisper in his ear, tugging at his shirt, his lips trailing the exposed skin of your collarbone, slowly moving his fingers from your hip, sliding them down your thigh but stopping just as he hears your breath hitch.

"Did you?" He smirks, letting his hand fall back to his side again and he can't help but grin when he sees the disappointment spreading across your face at the lack of friction between you.

"No more games, princess, you know I want you and I know you want me, even if it kills you to admit it.... So, I'm gonna go upstairs and if you want me to show you just exactly what I wanted to do to you earlier, you'll follow me there in five minutes." Steve instructs, leaving you standing there hot and needy for more.

It didn't take you five minutes to make your decision but fuck, work was going to be totally awkward on Monday.......

[otakubimbo]

YOU ARE MY SUN

Pairing: Dazai Osamu x f!Reader Warnings: Self Harm, Talks of Violence. Suggestive but no actual depiction. Talk of Death

After a long mission for the Armed Detective Agency, you come back and are questioning what kind of person you are. As a former member of the port mafia, the things you have done are unspeakable but are you able to change? Your former partner in crime seems to be having an easier time changing than you, why is that?

Sticky Note: this is my first BSD fic, so i hope yall like it.

masterlist

The Armed Detective Agency was your last stop after completing your mission. It took longer than expected with you being your biggest setback. You never thought that being on the side of the righteous would be harder than your previous lifestyle. Sometimes, you didn’t even know if you were capable of being good, everything you did was mainly a façade of the person you wished you could be. Only one person ever believed in your ability to be a good person, but that person was long and gone. That’s why you were here now, riding up on this elevator to deliver your completed report of your mission trying to be the better person he wanted you to be.

“Honey, I’m home.” You boast, your practiced smile plastered on your face a bit strained. Before you could even make another poor joke, Kunikida started yelling at you. The vein in his head already exceeding a point that you knew was painful, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose.

His rant begins, “Where have you been Kai?!” questioning about your whereabouts. The mission that you were on was a dangerous one, which is really the only mission that you go on but hadn’t been heard from in a month, all communication went silent, and he just knew you were dead finally. Ranpo told him and everyone else that you were just fine. It’s not that he wanted you dead, it’s just that you were known for your recklessness and lived as if you could not die. But if you did die, maybe that would be enough to repent for your sins.

This was the usual speech that he gives, goes in one of your ears and out the other. It was a little more aggressive than usual which made your attention even more divided, especially since something caught your eye. There seemed to be a new agent, a white-haired kid, who looked a bit too innocent to be here.

“Who’s the kid?” You ask, cutting Kunikida off mid-sentence which made the vein in his head pulsate from your lack of attentiveness. He was trying to explain the importance of keeping up communication and keeping track of your whereabouts for safety reasons.

He groans, rubbing his hand on his face. Kunikida should have known that you weren’t really listening to him, what else should he expect?

“That’s Atsushi, Dazai recruited him.” He mumbles pushing his glasses up on his face, you truly exhausted the poor man. Between you and Dazai, you were sure you both took at minimum 10 years off his lifespan.

“Interesting,” you think shoving the completed reports at the man in front of you. Were you a pain in the ass? Yes, but you get the job done. “everything’s in there” you mention casually as you walk towards this Atsushi, you had to find out why Dazai recruited him, that wasn’t really his style.

 “Hey kid” you call out to the white-haired boy; he looks up at you nervously. The kid knew that you were obviously part of the agency because you wouldn’t be here unless. There was also a photo of you and Dazai that Atsushi once spotted in Dazai’s otherwise empty wallet. It was a picture of Oda, you, Dazai, and reluctantly Ango that Dazai folded cutting off the other two men.

“Uhm hi. I’m Atsushi.” He says with a slight bow. Cute, how formal.

“Names Kai. I heard you were recruited by Dazai. Do you happen to know where he is right now?” You ask seemingly innocently.

“No, I haven’t seen him all day. He does have me doing his paperwork though.” Atsushi complains a bit, showing the papers to you. This information made you grin, if he was getting this kid to do his paperwork that meant he wasn’t coming around for a while. Now you had more than enough time to interrogate him, grabbing a chair and sliding it in front of his desk. You grab the paperwork from his hands, tossing it on your own desk.

“So, how did you get into the agency?” You ask in a sing-song voice, head tilting at him. Atsushi immediately got flustered and it was hilarious to you. He really didn’t look like the kind of kid that Dazai would have recruited, he seemed so sweet and a bit innocent.

“Stop messing with him, Kai” Kunikida scolds you while you roll your eyes at him turning back in response.

“Dang, I can’t get to know the kid? You make it seem like I’m as bad as Dazai.”

“Objectively, you’re worse.” He responds and you wince at his words dramatically.

“You wound me. You really do. Words hurt!” You say while grasping your chest in fake pain. He just scoffs and walks off. “Anyways,” your attention back to the kid in front of you. “Now go on, don’t leave out a single detail.” You command with a smile on your face.

Atsushi tells you everything that happened to him since meeting Dazai. As he spoke, you could tell why Dazai recruited him. The kid reminded you of someone you both used to love, it warmed you a bit. You could tell he had such a kind heart and had been through too much unlike his last protégé. Even though you knew Dazai for so long, longer than anyone else at the agency of course before he even had the idea to join back when he was a completely different person. So much has changed since then, honestly, those were simpler times back then, but all things change.

Just as Atsushi was finishing his tale, the devil himself walked in, Dazai.

“Oi, loser” You call out to him as he walks through the doorway. When his eyes land on you, they immediately turn into big saucers and the puppy dog face has been activated.

“Kai, you’re back and without telling me” He whines as he scuttles over to where you’re sitting. With a laugh, you stand up and push your pointer finger into his head.

“Yeah, my phone broke like ages ago BUT now I must make my leave.” You turn away from him to sit on the open windowsill. This just gets a pout from him; you knew he was just messing around.  This was his outside personality, not the real him.

“Oh, and before I go,” You remark, pointing your head towards Atsushi, “Nice pick on the kid. I like him” and with that, you fall back out of the window, pulling a surprised exclaim from the white-haired boy in question as he rushed to the window just in time to see you land perfectly on the ground. You looked up to see his exasperated face which made you laugh, waving at him before leaving to go home.

“Isn’t she fun?’ Dazai asks, hands in his pockets.

“Why hasn’t anyone mentioned her before?” The boy questioned back, relieved that you were okay.

“She does a lot of outside missions, barely ever here. Just slipped my mind I guess.” He shrugged, now noticing the unfinished paperwork on his desk. He groaned, knowing that it was your doing that his work wasn’t finished for him.

“But you have a picture of the two of you in your wallet.”  

“We used to work together before coming to the agency” The man replied casually, as if anyone but the two of you knew the type of work you did before here.

“Oh” was all that Atsushi responded with, he knew he wasn’t going to get a straight answer out of Dazai about where they used to work or about the two of y’all relationship.

The relationship the two of you had was complicated, to say the least. Back in the port mafia days, it was you and Oda, he was what you would consider the love of your life. He was the only person who you thought ever saw any good in you, considering your ability most people just saw you as a tool, a powerful tool. But when you were with Oda, he made you feel hope that you were more than that. Now that he was gone, you had to try to believe that in yourself. This was the same with Dazai, Oda saw what was good in him too even if he didn’t see it like he did.

After Oda’s death, you were a complete wreck, and it was no surprise that Dazai was the same. There were many nights that you both would drink together and wake up drunk. But that was no way to live, Oda didn’t want you two to live that way.  That’s how both of you ended up at the agency, ended up getting closer and closer every day, holding on to the secrets and pain of the past.

In your apartment, you washed off the memories of your mission. The struggles you have been facing, swirling down the drain with the water. This mission wasn’t hard at all, skill-wise. The issue that you were experiencing was control, it felt like you were slipping. Things were getting so much harder for you, your instincts kicking in when they shoulder, the muscle memory fighting against what you aren’t anymore. It was making you sloppy, it was making you unsafe, there was too much going on through your mind to be as effective as you should be.

The shower did make you feel better, but you needed a drink and it needed to be strong. Dressed in a casual outfit, a tan tank top, black cargo pants, and the usual black trench coat that Dazai got you, off you went to your favorite hole in the wall.

“Kai” Your local bartender greets you by name since you are a regular. You raise your hand back in greeting, your usual happiness gone for your regular melancholy state. Luckily for you and as always, there wasn’t anyone in your favorite corner of the shabby spot, sinking right in the booth knowing your usual would be brought to you.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, Kai” The server comments, placing your drink in front of you a rum old fashion. Before answering, you grab your drink and down it even though it’s meant to be sipped.

“Yeah, been gone.” You huff placing the now empty glass down, you needed that.

“And stressed” She mentioned picking up your glass, “I’ll bring you another.”

You just hum in response, now being left alone with thoughts of the warm sensation of alcohol raising your body temperature slightly. As you wait for your next drink, your eyes close while you rest your head on the back of the booth. The weight of the world felt as if it was on your chest, crushing you from the thought of your past and present. Your hand moves reflexively to your wrist, snapping the band around it to give yourself some relief better than any other alternative. Maybe for once, you would take Dazai up on his other for a double suicide. What was the point anymore anyway? Before you could have another deprecating thought, a hand slides onto your wrist stopping the snapping. There was only one person it could be the man who had just crossed your mind.

“Yes, Dazai?” You ask not even bothering to open your eyes yet.

“If you wanted to harm yourself, we could always do a double suicide.” He suggests in the joking manner he always does, but this makes you open your eyes sitting up.

“Sure. Let's do it.” You say earnestly, looking him deep into his eyes and the look he gives you back almost makes you falter. The look was so soft, so sad, it was the same look Oda used to give you which almost brought tears to your eyes. Luckily, Dazai had brought your next with him when he came to sit, and you grabbed it averting your eyes and taking another chug ushering for another to be brought to you.

“Tell me how your mission went and then we will,” he says casually, taking a sip of his own drink. You go back to snapping the band around your wrist before you speak.

“It went fine” Another snap comes with that falsehood, and you knew he didn’t believe but usually he didn’t push. Today must have been different.

“And yet here you are, back to old habits after having no contact for almost a month.” He took another sip from his drink, sliding his other hand on your wrist to stop you. His touch was so gentle and calming, he had only been this way with you a few times, times like this one. You were silenced by his touch, waiting for your next drink to come before you spoke again. Luckily for you, this time you brought three drinks. The bar could tell this was going to be the kind of night, and you nodded gratefully as the server walked away.

“It’s just….” You speak softly, feeling his hands hold onto your wrist as if supporting you. You start on your first drink before you continue. “Do you ever think that maybe Oda was wrong? That I don’t have the capability of being a good person? “You finally look back at him, to see if you can read his gaze. His expression was unreadable to you, almost as if he was confused by your question. The masks you both usually wear fall at this moment, it’s as if only you two were there.

“Sometimes, it just feels like I’m going to slip back into staining my hands. It’s so hard Osamu, it’s hard.” You confess, using his given name that rarely comes out of your own mouth, and his hand slides from your wrist to set itself in your palm.

“I know”

“Do you? It feels like it’s coming so easy for you. You brought Atsushi on, you saved him.” You grip his hand as it is sitting on your palm.

“We repent in different ways. This is one of mine”

That relieved you in some way, there was sincerity in his eyes and words. He was doing things in his own way but that didn’t mean it was any easier for him. It almost brought a tear to your eye, maybe you weren’t a monster that couldn’t change.

“Maybe,” you remark, taking another sip of your drink, releasing your hand from his when you realize they are still entangled. This was one of those moments you and Dazai have been having more frequently. The touches came from often, the walls breaking down between the two of you, there was safety in each other.

“You know the wrong I’ve done but Oda believed in you just as much as he believed in me. That we could both be better people than we were. He loved you.”

“The silly man sure did.” You scoff looking down into your drink, a tear falling into the almost empty glass. You down the rest of it without a second thought, moving on to the next.

“Ya know, he used to say that I was the sun. All the good he was able to do was a reflection of me, even if he was in the port mafia. He said that I was so bright that there was a reason for him to be better, to be kind.”  Your hands gripped the glass in front of you, tears threatening yet again to spill as your grip tightened on the glass. The glass shattered under the pressure of your grip, cutting deep into your hand.

“Fuck” the curse leaves your lips, not even pulling back from the shattered glass just turning your palms up. Your mind instinctively went to using your ability to stop time to clean up the mess so no one would notice but you feel Dazais hand around your wrist stopping you. He doesn’t say anything, just starts picking up the glass for you. No words were spoken between the two of you as he cleaned it up before grabbing your arm and taking you out of the bar. The silence lingered between the both of you as he walked you home, glass still in your palms burning from the intrusion and the alcohol but you enjoyed the pain better than feeling anything else.

Once at your apartment, Dazai doesn’t even let you attempt to fumble through your coat for your key, sliding his hand in the inner pocket to take the item out for himself and opening your door. He ushered you inside to your own place, placing you on your bed and making you sit down. There has yet to be a word spoken between the two of you as he gets the first aid kit that you keep in your bathroom out. His fingers work diligently, gently pulling the glass out of your hands making sure not to embed them any further into your skin. As he finishes wrapping your hand up, he takes them into his own looking up at you from his position on the floor.

“He was right you know” his voice barely above a whisper. You look at him confused about what he means. “You really are the sun.”

At that moment, you were now aware of the fact that Dazai still had your hands in his and you froze. A slightly shocked expression marks your face, but you stay silent because what are you supposed to say at this moment?

“You worry so much about trying to be a better person, bad people don’t worry about things like that.” A small smile threatens to appear on his lips as he speaks. “You’re not like me, no matter what I do, I will always be who I am.”

Your brow furrows, replacing his hold on your hands with yours on him, joining his position on the floor. “That’s not true and you know it. You’ve changed Osamu, you have. I see it in you every day. I see it in the way that you are so much gentler now. You care for people. You care for me.” The passion in your voice makes him more upset than it seems, which just confuses you even more.

“And there lies the problem. That’s what makes me a terrible man, a man who isn’t capable of change because I do care about you. What good person falls in love with their dead friend's girlfriend? I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling that and then the one person I fall for is you of all people.” He confesses, scoffing inwardly. You were completely taken aback by his sudden words, but you knew they were true. The two of you have gotten so close, leaning on each other, supporting each other, caring for each other.  There was no denying that you also were slowly thawing to his warmth, the drunken nights turning into mornings waking up to him, the worry for his safety while you were away, you had gotten so used to it being the two of you. It was you and him; him and you. Without even thinking, you grab his face making it face you.

“I will always love Oda, I will. But….” You hesitate but the looks in his eyes, the real look in his eyes gives you a bit of confidence, he was here with you not far off in his own mind. “But I love you Osamu Dazai, I do. You are also my sun; I want to be better for him and for you.”

For the first time ever, you have surprised him. He was surprised by your confession just as much as you were surprised by him. Now to surprise him even more, you smash your lips onto his, not releasing his face from your hands. The shock of you kissing him, quickly went away as his arms forcefully wrap around your back pulling you closer to him.

You were the first one to pull away, looking at his face with watery eyes.

“Make me yours Osamu.”

And make you his, he did. Several times.

The next morning, the two of you walked into the agency together which wasn’t an unusual occurrence but once Ranpo saw the two of you, he smirked.

“Ugh FINALLY” The man exclaims throwing his hands in the air. “You owe me Kunikida” Ranpo says pointing his lollipop at him. Kunikida looks up at Ranpo and then at you and Dazai coming in together.

“No way! How do you even know?!? They literally just walked in like they normally do.” Kunikida yells back.

“What is going on?” You ask, arms crossed because of course these idiots were up to something.

“I bet that you two would get together before the end of the year, but Kunikida said Dazai was too dumb to make it happen.”

You almost start snort laughing at how hilarious that was trying to hold it back, especially the shocked and offended look on Dazais face.

“Kunikida, I’m hurt. Truly I am! Do you think I’m unlovable?!” Dazai whines at the blonde.

“Absolutely I do,” Kunikida replies matter-of-factly. You couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“You are very lovable Osamu.” You giggle before placing a kiss on his nose. An innocent contrast to the debauchery of last night.

“Confirmed. Pay up.” Ranpo hand is held out to Kunikida who begrudgingly pays up. It was a lot of money, which meant he had 0 faith in your coupling. The bickering about the exchange starts up again between Dazai and Kunikida at the amount of money. You smile to yourself, enjoying the scene as you sit at your desk. Maybe you could have some of this happiness and be the sun.

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

Mini Arthur smut because I can

Requests will be filled i promise its just been stressful the past few weeks and busy as all hell

But have some crumbs to hold you over.

Warnings: smut, arthur being arthur, female reader, minors DNI

Arthur's fingertips glide easily across your skin despite their calloused texture.

Gently, almost feather like touch against you, almost as though he was afraid to hurt you.

His hand slowly comes over your bare stomach and he pulls you tightly to his naked chest, kissing the crook of your neck, and you feel him smile against your skin.

"You're absoulutely stunnin' Darlin', everyday I wake up next to ya I thank my lucky stars I got you."

Your face burns and you smile as you twist to kiss him.

A more handsome man you've never seen. The stubble across his face framed it beautifully, a face nearly sculpted by the gods themselves.

A crooked nose that did nothing but offer more character to his rough and tumble exterior.

Beautiful blondish brown hair that was thick, and usually soft, granted it was clean, settled atop his head. An abundance of it, he wouldn't have to worry about going bald anytime soon.

You kiss his jaw and turn to face forwards again, feeling his lingering touch against your waist.

You can't honestly think of a better way to spend your morning other than curled up close to him, as bare as the day you were born, feeling the warmth roll off his chest in waves.

He kisses your shoulder, still mumbling compliments under his breath, and before you had even registered his hand moving, you felt it against your inner thigh as he made his way towards the most sensitive part of you.

"Oh Arthur," you smile and lean your head back a little as he gently dips a finger into you, taking his time, going slowly. "This early?"

"Mhm...it's you Darlin', if I could I'd have you under me all the time."

"Well, I've got an idea..." you sigh, and then gently find his dick beneath the sheets.

You help guide him to your entrance, and when he's settled there you press your hand firmly against his hip to keep him from moving.

"It's called cockwarming." You mumble. "This way we can be close, but we don't have to move, we can just, be here...at least, as long as you can hold out without moving that is."

Arthur snorts, and his hand finds its way up your torso, landing on your neck. He guides your head, and kisses you on the lips.

"I can stay here as long as I need to, you'll know when I'm desperate to move."

"Until then, can we just cuddle?" You question.

"Mhmm...course."

His arm slides back to your stomach and you allow yourself to feel all of his, his chest against your back, his arm around your waist, his thighs against yours, and his dick settled inside you, unmoving, yet you were content.

It wouldn't take much longer of this, before the two of you were passed out again in each other's arms.

[360iris]

tu promesa de adorarme | marc spector x reader (ft. steven grant)

This is just a good, fluffy time! The title is a line from the song ‘La Mentira’ by Luis Miguel, and translates to “your promise to worship me” —Although the song is a little sadder than this is 🫢🤭 Thank you for requesting, @welcometostayingawake !!

When he enters the apartment it is blanketed in a blue tinted darkness. The blinds and curtains closed tightly, not allowing even an ounce of light into the space.

The door clicks shut behind him, his keys clinking sharply as they slide into the middle of the ceramic bowl placed by the entrance for easy access.

The old wooden floor boards creak under the weight of his shoes as he proceeds further, making a perfect beeline towards the bed even before his eyes can adjust to the lack of lighting. But sure enough, you were still where he’d left you this morning— one lump, protruding from underneath the dark blue duvet.

Crouching down beside the mattress, Marc extends a hand out to rest atop of your head, the only part of you that poked out from your cotton cocoon.

“We’re home.” He speaks softly, not aiming to alarm you in any way. Only, as he goes to massage your scalp at the root, he’s met with a handful of damp hair.

It’s wholly disconcerting, causing him to turn the bedside lamp on in a prompt, hurried motion. His knuckles bumping against the metal stand a few times before he finally manages to turn it on.

Awarded a warm cone of visibility, he pulls the blanket back to find that you’re sleeping.

He finds you curled into yourself. Dressed in only a white bathrobe with the cheap heating pad you neglected to upgrade from even when you’d had the funds, pressed to your stomach.

“Well that was a bit of a fright, wasn’t it?” Steven remarks, releasing a heavy sigh. Shoulders relaxing as he watches you breathe evenly as you slept, finding the furrowed tilt in your brows quite funny.

“She’s going to be the death of me.“ Marc nods, rolling his eyes from pure exasperation. Running a hand through his hair before adjusting the blanket he’d all but flung off your form in his brief state of panic.

“Oh, I’d hope not. I’d like to live a smidge longer, if that’s okay with you.” Steven remarks pointedly, earning himself a sigh of quiet indignation in response.

Patting down the material, Marc reaches up to smooth your hair again with tentative fingers.

Coaxing you awake as he massaged the strands at the nape of your neck, working his hand through as one would pet a kitten. And distantly, he thinks to himself that you’re not all that far off from being one— especially during weeks like this.

When your eyes finally flutter open, he can’t help but smile at the way you squint from the light.

“We’re home.” He repeats, even though the first time he’d announced himself it’d fallen on deaf ears.

“Hi.” Is all he can get out of you as you’re drawn into a laborious yawn. Though he finds you’re still willing to nuzzle your cheek into his open palm when he moves to cup it.

“Hi.” He greets back unnecessarily, lips pulled into a fond smile. “Do you want to tell me why your hair’s wet?”

“Was cramping really bad all day, thought an epsom salt bath would help.” Your voice is still thick from sleep and he watches amusedly as you attempt to force yourself into full alertness in vain.

”And did it?” He asks, unable to keep himself from pressing a kiss against your forehead.

“Not really.” Comes out a surprised giggle when he dips his head down to kiss your throat. “It’s why I couldn’t bother to dry my hair, or find a change of clothes.”

“Come on, let’s get you sorted out then.” He speaks into the hair at the back your left ear. All but folding himself over you, but you can’t find the wherewithal to care because he’s warm and smells nice, as always.

“No.” You detest weakly, allowing your fingers to tangle in his dark curls. “My stomach hurts and I bleed through every pair of pajama pants I put on. I’m over it! I just want the week to be over with. This is miserable, Marc.”

“Yes.” He mimics, drawing out the vowel to mirror your theatrics. His voice reverberating against your neck as he spoke. “And I didn’t say you had to do it all. I’ll set up the dressing area, have the space heater get it warm so you can dry off. I can’t have you laying around the apartment like a damp rat.”

The laugh that rushes past your lips is abrupt, your hands freeing themselves so you could push him back. “You asshole! Did you really just call me a rat? Really, Marc?” And he’s already wearing a wide grin, like he was expecting this exact reaction.

“Okay, yeah. I love it when my life partner calls me a rodent to my face. It’s not like my skeletal lining is in the process of shedding while my hormones literally rewrite my DNA—”

“Uh, you know. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know a lot about periods, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works.” He interrupts, squinting his eyes as he shakes his head. “At all.”

“Whatever!” You yell mid laugh, trying to force yourself to look severe. “You need to stop making me laugh, it’s messing with my cerebral cortex.”

“That’s your brain. Not your stomach, Einstein.” He snorts, rolling his eyes as he moves to stand, giving your thigh a quick pat. “Anyway let’s get to shaking, Ratatouille.”

“His name’s Remy, Einstein!”

“Whatever.” He remarks, heading off, already leaving you better than you were.

[fawnandshadows]

How You Get The Girl: Bonus Scene

Helloooo Lovelies!!

So, this is incredibly embarrassing on my part, but I accidentally uploaded the wrong chapter for last week's update ..... Somehow I skipped a chapter and I posted Chapter 21 instead of Chapter 20. I realize I could just skip this and move on and no one would know, BUT I really like this scene and I wanted to share!! I updated AO3, so that the story is in it's intended order <3.

This scene takes place before the events of Chapter 20.

“Is this ok?” Elain asked, spinning in a way that caused her yellow sundress to fan out around her. Her strappy sandals sliding over the hardwood floor and her arms extended to keep herself steady. 

Azriel smiled down at her, his eyes light and full of affection as she twirled in front of him. 

“It’s perfect, El.” Azriel said softly, and Elain's heart squeezed in her chest. 

“You never called me that before.” Elain said, stopping herself as the world continued to spin around her. 

His hands found her hips to steady her even though she was no longer moving, and absentmindedly Elain’s hand floated up to land on Azriel’s shoulders. The heels on her sandals putting their lips closer together. 

His brow furrowed as he asked, “Really?” Elain nodded in confirmation, leaning closer to him. “Do you like it?” 

“Yes,” Elain said, her cheeks plumping from her smile. “Very much so.” 

Azriel tightened his grip on her hips in a flirtatious squeeze, the corner of his eyes creasing as he grinned down at her.

“You still won’t say where you’re going?” Feyre asked from the kitchen, Nyx propped on her hip as she gazed at them with a happy, cupid like smile. 

“It’s a surprise.” Azriel called back, not taking his eyes off of Elain. 

“Mor knows.” Feyre said in a tone that would have been petulant if not for the giddiness in her voice. 

Azriel rolled his eyes and dropped his hands from Elain’s hips.

“Mor needed to know.”  Azriel said, taking a step back from Elain. Elain found herself taking a step forward, as if being pulled from a string connecting them. She didn't even think about it, but Azriel noticed. His eyebrow raised and his grin shifted into something more mischievous. 

He had been doing that a lot lately. 

Smiling. Grinning. Smirking. 

It warmed something deep within her, knowing that they were all directed towards her. 

“Are you taking me to your super secret tattoo shop? Am I finally getting my heart?”

Azriel leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. 

“Not yet, babe.” 

Elain felt her brows furrow. 

“Soon?” Elain pouted, a pout which was quickly kissed away by Azriel. 

“Very,” He said against her lips before pulling back. His dark curls falling over his forehead and Elain fought the urge to push them out of his eyes. And then she remembered she didn’t have to fight anymore. “And I don’t have a shop. I make house calls.” 

Her fingers ran through his curls to push his hair back, but as soon as she pulled her hand away the curls fell back in exactly the same position. 

“I love your hair.” Elain admitted. 

“I love it when you touch my hair,” Azriel said in an even voice, but his tone turned darker and headier as he continued. “Especially when you really grip it.” 

Her heart flopped to her stomach. 

Elain’s fingers slipped through the belt loops on Azriel’s jeans, inadvertently pulling their bodies together. 

“I was thinking,” Elain said softly, “And feel free to say no, but what if we went to the lake house with Feyre? Like, it’s probably stupid because it negates the entire conversation we had with them, but I was just thinking it might be nice to go because then we can be alone-alone. We can do that here, but there’s always going to be paparazzi and reporters and always looking over our shoulders. We aren’t public by any means, but if we go to the lakehouse, then we can do so much without fear of being seen. Paddle boarding, or we can take the boat out, maybe even go to those cute little shops. It’ll be like a romantic getaway for us. Feyre will be training most of the time, and-and—” 

Elain found herself being cut off as Azriel’s lips pressed delicately and confidently onto hers. 

“Yes.” Azriel replied.

“Yes?” Elain asked, clearing away her brain fog. 

“I’ll go anywhere with you.” 

Heat flushed through her body, and an uneven smile formed at her lips. 

“You mean it?” Elain asked, peering up at him. 

Azriel cocked his head to the side, his curls sliding over his brown forehead. 

“There’s not a place on Earth you could go where I wouldn’t follow, Elain.” He said seriously, his eyes darkening with intensity. 

“Because I’m your girlfriend?”’ 

“Because you’re you,” Azriel leaned his forehead against hers. “And for some reason you decided you wanted to be my girlfriend.”  

Elain grinned broadly at his words. 

Happiness lighting up inside of her. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and said, “You’re my boyfriend.” Her fingers twisting the curls at the base of his neck. 

Azriel opened his mouth to respond, but a knock sounded from the front door, and the two begrudgingly tore themselves apart. 

Azriel opened the door and stepped away as Mor bounded inside. 

“Good Morning,” Mor said brightly. “Who’s ready to—” her words cut off as she watched Elain wrap her arms around Azriel’s waist, and then her eyes followed the way Azriel leaned one strong arm over Elain’s shoulders. “Wha-at…” 

“Oh, um, we’re together.” Elain said brightly, cheeks flushed. 

“Boyfriend, Girlfriend!” Feyre piped up from the kitchen. 

“And you’re alive?” Mor asked, looking at Azriel. “Rhys didn’t kill you?” 

Elain felt Azriel tense in her arms.

“No,” Elain said firmly. “And everyone has promised to be supportive, and it would mean the world to me if you would support us as well, but if you don’t,” Elain took a deep breath, filling her lungs with air before slowly exhaling. “Then I’ll request a new bodyguard. I-I don’t want someone around us that won’t be there for us. Or someone that will be silently judging us.”

Mor blinked in surprise. 

“Of course,” Mor said, a touch of hurt in her voice. “I want you to be happy. Both of you.” Her brown eyes bounced between the two of them.  

Elain nodded her head once, and then twice for good measure. 

“Good,” Elain looked up at Azriel. “Then I’m ready for our date.” 

She leaned up to press her lips to Azriel’s. The kiss was broken by Elain’s smile — She felt her favorite bucket hat being placed on top of her head. 

Azriel must have grabbed it from the hooks next to the door without her realizing it. 

“I’ll make sure to tell Rhys about your new plans! For Rosehall!” Feyre called after them as they started to file out the open door. 

“Thank you.” Elain said and waved goodbye to her sister, excited for what the day held in store for her. For what Azriel had planned. 

-----

AN: Hehe, I hoped you liked it!!! Since someone (not naming names) messed up the publication order there will be another update tomorrow!!

-----

tagging: @123moiaussi @fuckmelifesucks @thefangirlofhp @sakurakittypeach @nikethestatue @tswaney17 @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @feyredarlinq @duskwhisperer @nyxreads @rinadragomir @secretpuppyflower @captainbrucebanner @ultadverb @irisesforelain @shedoessoshedoes  @magnolia-blossom87 @sheenabeene @nivem565  @casuallivi @rhysiedarling @elain99-blog @athena-85 @swankii-art-teacher @reverie-tales @jujugirlfrombookstore @shadowflorecita @shy-violet-soul @thisloveseternal

[kingsofeverything]

1k words of harry’s pov after Louis leaves at the end of tshu PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!

lol yayyyyyyyyyy i think i've posted part of this before but maybe just the email. i hope i didn't post the whole thing. it's called the drum beats out of time:

If he drives straight back to the flat, he could be in bed by midnight, but he doesn’t. Harry backs his car out of the garage bay, sits there with it still in reverse and watches as the door is slowly lowered until it’s fully closed. Even then, he doesn’t head down the drive toward the road for another minute or two, and when he eventually leaves, he turns right instead of left and wanders around aimlessly, driving until he’s low on gas before he goes home. 

It’s a little after one in the morning when Harry finally gets the key to turn in the lock and he stumbles inside the empty flat, but he isn’t tired, or is too keyed up to sleep, probably. Still, he walks back to the bedroom, pulling his clothes off on his way through the dark flat. Harry feels around on the top of his dresser and finds his laptop, settles onto the bed with it, figuring he’ll distract himself for the next little bit before two o’clock. He just wants to stay awake until Louis leaves, as if his being awake and aware makes a difference. As if he’ll feel Louis’ absence more acutely once he’s no longer in this time.

He opens Netflix, but ignores it in favor of checking his email. There’s a short message from Zayn, telling Harry to keep in touch, and reassuring him that Louis will make it to 2023 just fine. Which he can’t know, and Zayn admits as much, but he says he has a good feeling about it. Harry’ll reply to Zayn’s email later, maybe in the morning or maybe in a few days. When he’s not feeling as raw as he is tonight. 

Harry clicks over to Netflix and watches the pilot episode of Friends, something he’s seen dozens of times and doesn’t have to focus on or keep up with, something he can pretend to watch while he zones out and thinks of Louis and watches the minutes pass on the digital clock in the bottom right corner of his laptop screen. At one fifty-nine, Harry closes out Netflix and stares at the clock. His heartbeat gets incrementally faster, and when the numbers change to read two o’clock, Harry gasps involuntarily and his stomach flips almost violently as he thinks of Louis being taken away from him. Because that’s how he sees it, even if it’s nowhere near the truth. For the next few minutes, Harry continues to watch the clock, and when it’s five after two, he bites his lip and closes his eyes, letting the few tears he has left roll down his cheeks. 

Blinking to clear his vision, Harry stretches his fingers, then opens a new email message. 

To: futurelou

Subject: hi

You’re probably in 2023 already, which is totally fucking with my head. I miss you so much and you just left a few minutes ago. I hope the trip wasn’t bad or uncomfortable…….. Sounds like you’re on a train or something instead of traveling through a wormhole into the future. Idk why I’m emailing you other than I thought of you (haven’t stopped thinking of you, actually) and wanted to talk to you, so here I am. Now that you’re not here to distract me, I’m going to buckle down and figure out what I’m going to do at uni. Eventually. I love you. 

Always yours,

Harry

————

“It’s fucking raining. Shocking, I know,” Harry says, phone wedges between his ear and his shoulder, fiddling with the key in the door, and finally locking it through sheer force of will. At least that’s something he won’t have to deal with in London—wishing for Louis to be there every single time he tries to lock or unlock the goddamn flat. 

Harry hurries to his car and slides behind the wheel, but rushing doesn’t do a damn thing because he’s absolutely soaked. The ends of his hair are dripping rainwater onto his already wet clothes. He wipes his phone dry on the upholstery of the passenger seat, pulls his hair aside with one hand and squeezes some of the water out before twisting it up into a bun and asking, “How is he?”

“I don’t know,” Zayn answers quietly. “It’s not like we talk. He comes to work, he stays late, we avoid each other, and repeat.”

Harry sighs. “I just miss him.”

“I know, mate. I, um… I do too. It’s weird. Listen, when you have time, I want to talk to you about the stabilization of the wormhole.”

“What about?”

“Nothing now. And no big rush. Just when you get settled with your sister, give me a ring?”

“Not sure what you think I can help with. I mean, I’ve got Louis’ notes, but…”

Zayn clicks his tongue and Harry rolls his eyes, knowing what comes next. “It’s nothing to do with Louis’ notes. Want to bounce some ideas around in that curly head of yours. And, Harry, please think it over. You’d be such an asset. You already are.”

Harry scoffs. “I’m not even starting uni until September, if then, and I told you I’m not strong in maths. I don’t see the point in studying physics if I can’t handle—”

“I might know a guy who can tutor you. Just think about it. And let’s Skype soon. Yeah?”

“Yeah, alright.” Harry looks at their old flat through the rain battering the windshield, turns on the wipers and watches them swish back and forth. He mutters, “Wish you could give him my love or something.”

Zayn laughs and says, “He’d kick my arse. How about… send me some of his tea. I’ll sneak it into the break room. It’ll be like a secret gift from you to him.”

Harry smiles, but then his eyes begin to water and he bites his lip and nods, even though Zayn can’t see him. He takes a breath and tries to keep his voice steady. “Thanks, Z. Get some sleep. It’s late there.”

“I’m off tomorrow, so no worries. Safe travels, mate. Anything I can do, just let me know.”

Harry hangs up and sets his phone in the cup holder, rubs his eyes with the cuff of his flannel shirt, and checks the rearview mirror before backing into the road and taking off. It’s still dark out, the sun won’t be up for a few hours, and the roads in Donny are dead quiet. A stark difference from what he knows he’ll find in London, especially since he’s due to arrive at his sister’s sometime around half-nine. 

The repetitive whirring sound of his tires spinning on the street is almost hypnotizing, so Harry clicks on his radio and flips to his most recently made and most listened to playlist and sings along to all of the sad songs that somehow seem to lessen the ache of missing Louis. 

Eleven weeks down, two hundred forty-nine to go. 

[essayofthoughts]

DVD Commentary ask game, from "A Whisper On My Shoulder"! --

“They’ve been naughty,” Gren says. “He told me. I won’t be naughty; I’ll be good.”

There’s such a childish certainty to his words. It makes some part of Percy twist in upset: he remembers Ludwig saying similarly, hoping desperately that if they were good, if they answered the questions, they would be let out of the cells, only bad people go in the cells-

Cass’ presence slides firmly between his thoughts and he pulls himself back into the present. As they watch, the golden-eyed child’s hand falls on Gren’s shoulder. The look the two share is easy to understand, that of an older child to the younger, let me deal with this. As they watch Gren nods and takes the book to return it to a shelf; the golden-eyed child hopping down from his chair and- changing.

He’s tall, as the- the illusion or shapeshifting or whatever it is, fades away. Tall and lean, lean enough it seems odd that he can so easily bear the weight of the burnished golden breastplate, though perhaps that’s a visual illusion with the long, dead-straight fall of black hair, stretching an already narrow face to look longer. He’s a proud, pale face, a narrow nose, shockingly dark eyes given the almost glowing gold of his child-form, a jaw a little wider that quite suits his face, but it suits the expression of annoyed disgust he’s wearing as he steps forward.

It’s only then, as he takes that step closer, that they see the chains, stretching from the breastplate to the necks of four of the children cleaning.

No wonder they can’t leave, Percy thinks. No wonder Mirrell was so sceptical they could do anything.

“Leave,” the eerie man says smoothly. “This is a place for children and happiness, not for-” and he gestures towards them with a long, golden-armoured arm “-grown adults like yourselves. You don’t belong here.”

“Nor do the children you’ve kidnapped,” Vax replies. “They belong with their parents, with their friends-”

“And what of those without parents?” the man asks. “Without friends.” He reaches out a hand to one of the chained children, his gauntleted hand gently caressing back wavy brown curls. He looks them over one by one. “Some of them have no place to go. At least here they are housed and clothed and fed.”

“And what about when you get bored of them?” Vex asks. “When they’re not happy or when they’re not children anymore?” She waves at the children toiling around them, hardly playing or happy, at Gren, warily staying away from the discussion. “When they’re not what you think they should be? What happens then?”

“Why, they are let free of course.” The man says it with such ease that Percy knows it to be a lie. “I wouldn’t keep them here any more than I mean to keep you here. Look, I’ll even give you a gift to send you on your way. I have plenty of fascinating books about all kinds of topics - wouldn’t you like to know about the powers of the Palestone? The limitations of undeath? Gods of secrets and the secrets they hold? There’s so much you might make use of - I could give you any book you wish.”

Keyleth and Vax are stubborn in refusal, Pike too, and Grog beside her is simply disinterested. Vex is interested though, at the least curious about the worth of such tomes, and he sees Tiberius’ face alight at the mere mention of one of his beloved artefacts.

“And what if,” Percy bites out, trying to keep his voice as steady as he possibly can, “The book I wish is a book that I print on the skin I flay from your back?”

--

I cheated and did more than 500 words :3c

Oh! So I was very much aiming for the kind of real life abuse you can see in cases with a significant power/experience differential, and the way in which abused kids or the abused party in any relationship can find a way to rationalise what was done, be that to them or another. Like. Gren's words are meant to be really uncomfortable, because by rationalising away the Dread Emperor's treatment of the other kids he is setting up the potential for his own self-rationalisation of it later - and kind of revealing the intrinsic authoritarianism of a monarchy, even if led by the best and best intentioned of people.

The Dread Emperor's depiction I was very much trying to invoke some of Michael Jackson's appearance? Because the cast describe the Dread Emperor as "Evil Michael Jackson". And, in some photos, Michael Jackson had a very wide but sharp jaw, and it's a very striking look! Meanwhile Percy, with his taste for aesthetics, gets judgemental because... he would.

The Dread Emperor's little speech and justification to VM is again the rationalisations of an abuser - and also trying to catch them off guard so he can, one way or another, remove them. It's also set up for other things! The Palestone is one of the artefacts Tiberius was after, the limitations of undeath is both relevant to Cass in this AU and a sneaking hint at the next things he offers - knowledge of gods of secrets and the secrets they hold, AKA Vecna.

But of course, Percy's gotta Percy and have a one-liner - that one is taken directly from the clipshow of some of their homegames and I have no idea if this was the context, but it's context that felt like it'd fit to me.

Send me ~500 words from a fanfic I've written and I'll give DVD Commentary-esque explanation of why I wrote it like that

[sabraeal]

to all the ghost still standing in this room, Chapter 2

[Read on AO3]

Written for @kirayaykimura for her birthday! Starting this got pushed back SO MANY TIMES due to bingo, and so when I finally got to it and asked if she had a last minute change in request...she finally admitted she wanted more liliwon 🤣 It’s been a nice little break from the months of frantic obiyuki writing!

A king must act decisively. Kyesook had told him that, back when they were simply Yuhon’s heir and the boy his supporters had trusted to mold him. Barely six years his senior, he’d given his lessons with all the airs of a priest reciting a sacred truths. But a king must also be cautious. And above all else-- even now his expectations weigh heavy on him --he must be in control.

Control, ha. Soowon marvels at the trembling wrist in his grip; at the thick, mottled skin now streaked by the pale band of his fingers, silvered like long-healed scars instead of shackles. A pulse throbs against his fingertips, slippery with rage and thwarted wrath, but there’s no fear in his eyes, no sense of how close he’s come to death.

Not yet, at least.

“As much as the lady might annoy...”  His grip tightens, just a hair, but his tone never strays from pointed civility. “Striking a woman is unnecessary.”

“Annoy?” Ah, of course. A man’s fist might quiver inches from the delicate bridge of An Lili’s nose, but that’s the stone that change’s the river’s course. “This man shakes a poor woman down in the middle of the streets, but I’m annoying for trying to--”

“Shake her down?” The man’s eyes bulge in their sockets, no longer a blade but a bullfrog belching its complaints to a ripple that’s splashed too close. “This girl is getting in the way of my business--”

“Your illegal business.” Lili surges toward him, heedless of the danger she so narrowly avoided. “I don’t think Kouren is going around, letting men like you issue permits--”

If she keeps this up, she might well win this argument by default, if only because the man’s died of apoplexy. “What do you know if it, you little--”

“I think you will find--” it’s in his softest, most dulcet tones that Soowon speaks, smile stretching his lips like a rack does a skin “--that denying this young woman’s wishes might cause more problems for you than it solves.”

He might be slender where this man is meaty, calm where he seethes, but when Soowon looms head and shoulders over him, bones groaning in his grasp, the man finally recognizes him the same way a rabbit recognizes a fox in the brush: as the superior being that cradles both his life and his death in its grip.

One that squeezes a little tighter as he says, “I speak, of course, from experience.”

Those bulging eyes no longer fix to Lili, no; they swing back to him, trembling like the rest of his squat body. Soowon, for his part, tries to find no pleasure in it. He fails of course. Ah, what his old minder might make of this mess? Nothing that would earn that man’s sparing praise, that’s for certain.

“F-fine then.” That man’s lips may flap but all that falls from them is this false bravado, useless save as a salve to his own pride. “Guess she can have her way, if it’s so important to her.”

“How kind.” Soowon’s grip springs open, sudden as a trap. The man stumbles, catching himself on his back foot. “Your graciousness will not be forgotten.”

There’s a threat in those soft words, hidden beneath the cushion of civility. A cleverer scoundrel would take it, a lesson learned about what a fair man might hide behind his sweet smile, but this one-- this one cradles his wrist against his chest and spits, “But if she gets in my way again...”

It is the work of a single step to slide between them, to break the furious path of his glare.

“That won’t be a problem. Or at least--” his voice drops to his chest, eyes falling open from their squint “--you better hope it is not.”

He’s impossible, that’s the problem here. When Lili left camp-- hours ago now, coaxing the most biddable mare in their entourage with the dried fruits she smuggled into her skirts during breakfast-- Soowon had still been in his tent. Sleeping, she assumed, or sulking if he couldn’t bring himself to have regular, basic needs like all the rest of those lesser mortals. He was still supposed to be doing that now, only inside that terrible darkened cage that passed for a palanquin.

And instead he’s-- he’s here. Haunting her heroic moment. Just swooping in and handling things when she definitely didn’t ask him to. Sure, he’s got that scumbag already scurrying into the gutters where he belongs, but he’s stooped over the woman too, wearing that stupid smile of his, the kind he squints into so no one notices it doesn’t reach his eyes.

A slender hand slips out from beneath the gleaming white of his robe, and oh, he’s stealing her rescue, too! Here she is, the one who bothered to step in to begin with, but that poor woman is all eyes for that beanpole, flushed and stammering as he guides her to her feet. Which is something Lili would have been happy to do, as soon as her own legs quit trembling. Just a few minutes and she would have been the one to gallantly offer her hand, the one to dust off the woman’s dirty knees. But instead--

Instead it’s Soowon fussing over her, offering with his stupid voice-- not even his real one, but the one he uses to come off as gentle and inoffensive, for all the good it does him-- to take her home. And it’s to him she clings even as her she insists he’s done enough.

Shameless, that’s what he is. Doesn’t even bother to look sorry when he finally glances her way either. Oh no, for her, he’s smug. Bastard.

Well, he’s not going to have the satisfaction of floating over here and pulling that angel act on her, oh no. Lili storms over to him first, legs stronger with every stomp, and demands, “What on earth are you doing here?”

Oh, he smiles and simpers for all the smallfolk, playing benevolent savior, but for her-- for her there’s no squint, no pretense that he’s doing anything but looking down on her when he says, “Saving you, it seems.”

“You?” It’s stupid that he’s so tall; if he’s going to be so obnoxious, she should at least be able to put her hands around his throat without having to jump. “Saving me?”

It’s ridiculous. Absurd, even. And worse yet, terrible, because if she’s being generous-- which she shouldn’t be; he doesn’t deserve it-- it might even be true.

That insufferable smile widens when he reaches out for her, and she means to duck, to sidestep, to do something if only to keep him from acting whatever way he likes, but--

But she’s frozen instead, breath caught up in her lungs as his fingers graze past her ears, disrupting the flyaway hairs that always gather just there no matter what Tetora does. A shiver traces down her spine, trembling her already weak knees, and it’s-- it’s nothing. Only that he never gets this close to anyone, not on purpose, so it feels...different. Weird.

That is, until her hood tumbles over her eyes, leaving her with only slash of his smirk in her vision. “Yes. Like always.”

She wrestles with the fabric until it sits properly back from her face, sputtering and spitting but never quite forming words. Always. The gall of him. “Where’s your babysitter?”

His eyebrows lift, two elegant questions over the still seas of his eyes. “Where is yours?”

Lili scowls; it’s not until her palms prickle that she even realizes she’s clenched her fists. “I don’t need one! I can take care of myself just fine.”

He doesn’t even bother to open his mouth, just pointedly glances at where she’d stood, too stupid to see a punch coming, and-- and--

“I can!” A hit like that would hardly kill her. “But now that you’re here, Joodoh is going to be tearing across the whole countryside to find--”

Funny, she wouldn’t have though his spindly hands it could fit so perfectly over her mouth. Or that his grip could bite so harshly into her wrist.

She glares up at him, ready to give him a piece of her mind, muffled or not, and finds a smile that is all teeth.

“Why don’t we move this discussion to a more amenable location?” he asks, and oh, it’s phrased like a suggestion, but every twitch of his eyes says, you’re making a scene.

Ha. If he thinks this is a scene, she’d be happy to show him what it looks like when she does a whole production--

Until she follows the quick flick of his eyes, gaze quickly drawn to the gleam of pauldrons, to the tooled leather insignia branded across the chest of more than a few men now lingering at the edge of the market, watching them. 

With a quick catch of her breath, his hand peels away. “Come.” He tugs at her wrist. “This way.”

“All right.” Lili slips like water from his fingers, one moment solid under his grip, and the next idling behind him in the alley, arms-crossed. “What are you doing here, really?”

Ah well, it’s fine enough; he hadn’t thought she would allow him to lead her this far from the market, let alone to somewhere properly secluded. “I might ask you the same thing.”

“Ugh, yeah you could,” she huffs, hands flailing wildly beside her already listing hood. “Or you could just answer the question like a normal person!”

He blinks at her, stymied. That’s hardly a standard he’s ever been expected to aspire to. Exceptional, certainly; superior might as well go without saying; but normal...?

“Fine!” Her head flings back with a groan, and ah, that explains how it keeps falling. “I’m here because Lady Lili only gets to see flower gardens and tapestries and maybe a decorative pond or two. And that’s fine or whatever, but Yona isn’t going to care about whether or not the castle’s lilies are growing well this year. For that matter, neither do I!”

His mouth opens, only to find that there’s nothing to say. “Ah...hm.”

“And also you’re horrible to travel with,” she continues, quite unnecessarily. “That’s a big part of it.”

“Well.” There’s a half dozen idiosyncrasies he could lay at her door as well, a litany of habits that could make even the most pious of the priesthood rethink temperance, but what comes out is a stilted, “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“So...there.” Her fluttering hands finally perch on her hips, ready to take flight with a single shift in the wind of her moods. “Your turn now.”

It would be simple to answer; he had prepared a response to that very question before he even left camp. Not the truth-- no one liked that, no matter what they said-- but the sort of regal humility expected of a cousin to the crown. I wanted to see the people of this land with my own two eyes, he would say, gaze fixed to the middle distance, properly melancholic. The care my cousin shows our people has taught me to seek its like wherever I go.

But as pretty as the words are, as melodic a cadence as he had composed to cradle them, it feels...inadequate. Lili may not speak to him with eloquence, but she is earnest, the way he had once been with...

Ah. An uncomfortable thought.

“The last time I was here, I came with an army at my back.” An invader, hoping to subdue a weakened rival with an application of suitable force. “I have to admit I was...curious. About what may remain after...everything.”

About what they might say about King Soowon, the man who failed where Princess Yona flew. Ah, Empress Yona, now.

The answer had been surprisingly little. He’s not sure what would have been worse: for his name being synonymous as their oppressor, or the fact that his gambit left so little mark that few remember it.

“It’s so different now, isn’t it?” The tightness around Lili’s eyes eases, the whole of her face softening as she skims the streets. “There’s scars where Kai and the nadai carved them, but...”

“I expected more,” he agrees. “A testament to Kouren’s leadership.”

“Oh?” One of her narrow brows quirk, too interested. “Is that so? Do you find that an attractive trait in an ally, or--?”

“Don’t start,” he grumbles, tucking his hands into his sleeves. “It’s insulting enough that Yona has tried to dress this up as a...a diplomatic mission, I don’t need this from you too.”

“But it is a diplomatic mission.” For once he wishes An Lili was a better liar; then he wouldn’t have to suffer her subterfuge. “Kouka has to send someone to the coronation, and who better than Yona’s own cousin, a--”

“An usurper and kin-killer.” His teeth ache as he strains his well-earned titles through them. “And though my lovely cousin would never admit it, I am a superfluous and inconvenient member of the royal family. She might well have spared me her mercy and killed me instead, the reception might have been kinder.”

For all that it’s true, Lili scowls at him, as if he’s a disappointment. “Yona has spent the past two years trying to involve you in every aspect of Kouka’s governance. She made you the Sky Advisor! You can’t really think sending you here to--”

“Woo a queen who has every reason to hate me?” For all her hot air, Lili deflates. Ah, so they had not thought he would figure out this portion of their plan until it was already well underway. “Yona would never be so rude as to suggest it outright, but I’m sure it would put her most at ease if I found Xing so diverting I never return to Kouka.”

Lili unleashes a groan so weary it practically creaks. “She would like you to be happy, instead of just...haunting your end of the castle and finding new ways to make yourself miserable.”

“Haunting.”

Her sharp little finger stings where it prods his chest. “You’ve spooked several servants, mister. Surprising we can still get people to go clean down that way when they’re all spun up about restless spirits wandering the halls.”

Soowon smooths the dimple she leaves in the fabric. “This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

“You said it, Yona’s too nice to tell you the stuff you need to hear.” Her mouth gives an insufferable little twist. “Like that you need to go out and get some fresh air.”

“And you’re...not.” It’s not a question. He has met her, after all. It’s one of the most tolerable things about her.

One of her slim shoulders lift, unconcerned. “Someone has to.”

“How...” He lets a few possibilities roll around on his tongue, savoring each one. “Considerate.”

“Listen, if you’re so concerned about why Yona chose you for this party--” her tone implies heavily that he shouldn’t be “--you’re a royal, like you said. It’s an honor for people to host you. Fussing over you makes them feel important. And the fact that Yona’s letting them do it makes her seem magnanimous.”

His eyes narrow. “I see. And the fact that I am the highest ranking unattached member of the imperial court...”

“Fine,” she sighs. “Yeah, if by some cosmic coincidence you somehow fell wildly in love with one of Yona’s staunchest allies and the strongest queen of her vassal countries, I’m sure she wouldn’t be mad about it.”

The only queen of her vassal countries. His breath whistles out through his nose. At least it’s a more flattering option than Mei-nyan. “How optimistic of her, considering how the last time I was in Xing, its first princess was calling for my head.”

“That’s Yona for you. Now...” Lili cranes her neck, peering around his side to-- ah, to his pockets. “Are those rice cakes?”

Ha. He had quite forgotten those were there. “Is there a reason you are asking?”

A grin splits her face as she threads her arm through his, all teeth. “Because if you’re going to show me around this place, you’re gonna have to share them.”

[indecentpause]

Find the Word

tagged by @catchingbigfish to find stars, hedge, justify, written, and question. thank!

as always, from The Black & Blues :)

cw: suggestive, food

stars:

Austin slams his hands on the table so hard your glasses shake.

“Oh, fuck yeah!” he shouts.

“Dude,” Kris hisses through his teeth.

Austin turns bright red. Since you met him, he’s started growing out a beard, and while he keeps it relatively close cropped, it looks good on him.

All your male friends are so good looking, fuck.

He leans in and repeats with a whisper, “Fuck yeah.”

You and Danny look over at Kris and Sara.

“Are you looking for rhythm guitar?” Sara asks. “I think that’s where I’m most comfortable.”

“That’s perfect,” Danny grins.

Kris takes a little longer to respond. He’s majoring in philosophy, with the intention to become a college professor, so he’s the busiest of all of you. Tons of readings and papers and research and debate.

“I think I could manage it,” he finally says. His mouth twists and he rolls his eyes to one side in thought. “I’d have to budget my time really well. But as long as you’re cool with me only making two practices a week, I could make it happen.”

You perk up, your whole body thrumming with excitement. You barely even notice Danny’s leg shifting away.

“Yes, yes, fuck yes!” you laugh, whacking your hands on the table, because you can’t sit still, it’s too exciting, you’re about to combust with joy.

“I’ve made some flyers.” Danny pulls one out of his bookbag and slides it into the middle of the table. “You wanna look over them and let me know if you want anything changed? This is just a mockup so I’ve only printed the one.”

You spend the rest of the afternoon going over the design and the ad and what you’re going to call your band. None of you are sure if you should wait until you’ve held auditions and everyone is together. But you all start scribbling down ideas on the back of the mockup flyer, and not for the first time do you thank your lucky stars for this opportunity. You got out. You’re free. And you’re not going to blow it.

hedge nudge:

Morgan is tall, though not as tall as Josephine or Austin, and he’s thin and waiflike like you are. His hair is the same color and texture, and if he had green eyes and glasses, he could pass for your brother, or even your twin. He grins when he sees you and says brightly, “Hey, look at us! We match!”

You laugh a little. Josephine nudges his arm and turns toward the five of you.

“Sorry if we’re late,” she says. “We–”

“You’re not,” Sara assures them. “We’re just early because we live on campus. No worries.”

Josephine’s shoulders relax and she smiles, relieved. “We were just hoping to be here before you so we didn’t have to abject you to our warming up.”

“We’re all musicians, too,” Danny says. “It’s okay. We get it.”

justify explain:

When they return to the table, Morgan says, “I was just asking Jaisyn if he wants to come to some of our practices. I think we’re off to a good start, but could help to have some outside ears that know about music, too, you know?”

“Absolutely!” you say again. “We’re going to practice on Monday and Wednesday evenings. Sometimes we're gonna try to sneak in a Friday if Morgan has the day off.”

“I’m a server, so I work evenings,” he explains. “And Fridays and weekends are our busiest. I’ve talked to a couple of coworkers, though, and some of them said they’re willing to switch shifts with me occasionally if I need a Friday or Saturday for a show. That’s when tips are best, so convincing them was pretty easy.”

“Nice,” Sara grins. “I’m glad you can work that out. Kris also said he can get the occasional Tuesday or Thursday off, but he’s already extremely part time, so it’s hard to get any extra days off.”

“We can work with that,” Jaisyn says. “I’ll keep an eye out for venues and you can let me know when you’re ready to start booking.”

“What kind of pay are you looking for?” Sara asks. “Because for a lot of us the only reason we’re here is because of scholarships or our parents, and most of us don’t have a lot of money. And we can’t ask you to do something like that for free.”

“You can give me a cut of whatever you earn each show, maybe?” he says. “Honestly, I’m not looking for a job. I’ve always just really wanted to work with musicians writing music. I’m fine on money, so I would even be okay with trading favors or work. Like if one of you can fix my bike, that alone would be a huge help.”

“Oh, I can do that,” you offer. “Probably, depending on what the issue is. I can look at it, at least.”

Jaisyn grins. “If you can, consider it your payment for this sheet music. If not, we’ll figure something out.”

written:

Thank God it’s Wednesday so you have band practice. Your brain is about to melt out of your ears.

You take the last half hour before practice to play around with your guitar. You’ve written about twelve songs between all of you and Jaisyn, so you’re still playing a few covers at every show. You’d like to be all original.

You sing about music and partying and thinly veiled metaphors for masturbation and smoking weed. You have a couple songs about video games and old movies and TV shows.

But you don't sing about relationships. You're not ready to be out and it feels disingenuous to sing about an imaginary woman you'll never fall in love with. Sure, Danny could sing those, if you ever decide to write one. But it feels weird, knowing Sara and Austin and Kris are aroace and you and Morgan are gay. And Josephine can’t really sing besides backup since she’s on brass, and she’s not out either, anyway.

Nobody else really has any skin in it, to play love songs. And for that you’re grateful. You just want to have fun.

question:

This time, Frankie opens the door. She smiles brightly at you and steps to the side as she says, “Hi, Meara! It’s good to see you; it’s been a while! How are–”

But she stops abruptly and her face creases with worry as you stumble inside.

“I haven’t been sleeping well. And I’m having some trouble with school,” you admit.

“Oh, Meara, I’m sorry,” she says. “Here, come in.” She closes the door behind you and calls to Josselin in the kitchen, “Meara’s here!”

“Oh!” Josselin pops his head out and says, “I’m just finishing the last of the dishes, I’ll be right there. Sit down wherever you want.”

Frankie hovers over you like an anxious mother hen. “Is there anything I can get for you? Do you want something to drink? Have you eaten? We have some leftover pad thai. We got it without the scrambled egg because Josselin doesn’t like the texture. I could heat it up for you?”

You gently grab her wrist and she pauses. “I’m okay,” you say. “Don’t worry yourself about me.”

“That doesn’t answer any of my questions.”

“Feed him something!” Josselin says, entering the living room as he dries his hands on his jeans. “He hasn’t been eating enough.”

tagging @theliteraryluggage @thatswhereiwanttobe @siarven @magic-is-something-we-create @kaiusvnoir to find the words up, down, top, bottom, left, and right!

[halechief]

five times kissed w my Whole Chest dawg

NOVEMBER 2018. 

if i had my life to live over again, i’d take more chances. i’d want more passion in my life. less fear and more risk. he’s stretched out again, propped on one elbow as he lays facing the board between them, and while it’s been a bit since he’d said it, and while the interim had been filled with a brief foray into the spark notes of shoeless joe jackson, the words had yet to unstick from her brain. she’s still sitting up, wrapped in hotel sheets dragged from the mattress, the hardwood beneath the rug they’re sat on becoming a little more apparent and unforgiving the longer they’re there. he’d played freed a few turns ago, and after she’d played breathe, and fined, and steal, they’re all but out of tiles. he takes the bag in hand and shakes the last two out into his palm while she watches, and keeps watching  -  attentive to his features when he blows out a breath and says you got me, and attentive to the placement of his fingers when his hand lifts to adjust his glasses on his face. he catches her looking and doesn’t say anything, and when she slowly unfurls her tucked legs and moves toward him, a knee dragging over the board, he simply rolls to his back to accommodate her as she settles astride his hips. 

there’s the skittering sound of the wooden tiles scattering over the board, some of them making it past the edge of the rug and tinking onto the floor - one gets trapped under her knee, but she hardly registers the sharp jut of it into the bone because she’s leaned down to cover his mouth with her own, tasting wine when she parts his lips with her tongue. it’s not especially graceful, just like it hadn’t been before the game, and for some reason as his hands paw around for the overlap of the sheet to bare her, her own question from before comes rolling through her brain : what do you mean, not a love story at all? 

he finds the edge and drags it open without a shred of gentility or hesitation, his hands finding her hips and guiding her to rock against him as both of hers slide into his hair. one pulls, and the nails of the other scrape the back of his neck, and when she bites his lip, she swallows the groan that spills past his teeth and between her own. an overturned wine glass rolls in a lazy half circle beside them, and when he shifts to put her under him, the blind swipe of his arm to clear the floor for her sends it spinning off under the bed. 

DECEMBER 2019

she’s standing in the residency, fiddling with something in her hand as she gazes out the window into the courtyard below. lights are twinkling in the distance, everything done up big for the holiday season both outside and in - part of her thinks it’s meant to be some kind of diversion, a slightly gauche overcorrection of tone after her brush with death. joyful and triumphant, or some similar bullshit nonsense. it’s christmas eve, and though she’d known she’d be seeing him eventually, claire is surprised to hear him coming in now, just a little past eleven. she glances back to find his hands tucking into his pockets after the door falls closed, and he paces unhurriedly toward her, painted dully in the muted gold light shining in through the window. claire executes a little half - turn on the spot just as he’s coming to a stall behind, looking down at her. “ i thought you were going to midnight mass? “ i was. he doesn’t elaborate, choosing instead to raise a hand and trace a finger over her shoulder and down her arm, so she tilts her head, questioning.  i wanted to see you. he says it with a slight shrug, finishing his trail down her arm and bringing his fingers to circle her wrist. he lifts her closed hand between them, the other raising to push the dark sleeve of her sweater a little further up her arm. a moment later, he’s bending to press his lips to her pulse. 

“ god won’t mind? “  she thinks he's rolled his eyes, but her view of them isn't clear enough to tell. i’ll say a hail mary later. her answering laugh is little more than a breath, attention rapt on what little of his expression is afforded to her sight.  “ tell me, phillip . . .  what’s the point of religion if you can just ask, and be forgiven? “ i didn’t say i’d be forgiven. his eyes flicker to catch hers, and she knows he can feel the quickening thud of her heartbeat under his smile where it spreads against her skin. he straightens after holding her gaze for a moment, and then it drops to watch the path of his own touch as it smooths back up over her forearm, thumb pressing into her curled fingers to coax her fist open between them. 

there’s a pause, while he looks down at the battered rosary laying in her palm, and she can’t quite read his reaction. it’s a long moment, between seeing and speaking, but finally he asks :  feeling repentant yourself, or asking a favor?  “ neither. just thinking about you. “ ( he nods, seeming a little more ruminative than before, and she thinks of how he’d told her he’d been given it for his first holy communion. how he’d said : it's been sort of a good luck charm, really, and maybe that's not exactly encouraging but -- just something to hold onto. until you feel better. she wonders if he’d drawn any sort of conclusion from her negligence to return it to him. )

anything i’d wanna hear? she notes the telltale twinge of boston in the word wanna as he takes the beaded string into his own hand, appearing to weigh it in his palm.  “ plenty. “  claire moves to pluck it back from him, but his fingers close on hers, and when she stills as suggested, he instead wraps the length of the rosary around her wrist, dropping the cross through the loop of the neck and tugging it taut to let it hang from her. maybe i should go ahead and say that hail mary now. 

the look he gives her then is searing when it comes, long fingers grasping her jaw as he bends the distance between them and kisses her hard. 

NOVEMBER 2020

a threshold has been crossed between them, and for all the tension that it has released, there seems to be a new tension of a different kind ready to rise up and replace it. they all walk a tightrope, and while she beams in the photo ops day after day and delivers smooth snippets of perfectly inoffensive speechcraft without seeming to break a sweat, the effect is not inconsequential. it’s possible that inoffensive is not the right word. there are plenty of people that take offense to her, from what she says to what she wears, and any little item that registers in between. it is beyond her capacity to care, most days, fox and breitbart and whomever else can say whatever it is they please, as far as she’s inclined to care. a little offense is healthy. so, when carroll claps her on the shoulder before he leaves the situation room and says you’re looking more yourself here lately, big dog, she tries to remember that, herself. a little offense is healthy.  

she makes her way back to the residency and on the way she tries to divest herself of the little bit of resentment that is threatening ( it is not quite realized yet ) to try and take up space in her mind. it’s the idea of being defined again by anything or anyone other than herself, being affected enough by another person ( or the lack of them ) that it could turn her on her edge. 

claire does not need the disclaimer that she receives from scott to know that phillip is already there, but he offers it nonetheless despite the fact that the scent of garlic and wine has already given his presence away. her thanks is wordless, known to scott only by the curl of her lips and the dip of her head before she opens the door and closes it quietly behind her. there’s no rush to join him just yet, and it’s not out of any further consideration of carroll’s remark, but rather ritual. she walks to the room, steps out of her heels, removes her earrings and her watch, the bracelet on her opposite wrist. or she tries to, rather - the clasp of the last is caught, and she is still bothering with it when she makes her way to the kitchen. phillip turns to greet her, and he’s in the middle of doing so when she comes to a stop beside him at the stove and wordlessly proffers her wrist, looking up at him just as he looks down, his fingers instantly falling to the clasp. he’s telling her what’s on the menu, and she glances dutifully toward the pan, and back to him as he manages to unhook her, and the faint chill of metal slithers over her skin, one end of the bracelet pinched between his thumb and forefinger until he lets it dribble into the center of her upturned palm. 

a threshold has been crossed between them, she can tell because he’s talking about dinner, and next she’ll ask about his day, and he will ask about hers, the moments that they did not spend in a room together or already brief one another on over text. she can tell, because it is all very domestic and natural, because it would have been more strange to have come up and found the kitchen standing empty than it could ever be to find him in it. ( how many times had she stood in this kitchen before him and left it in shards, cutting her own hands on the edges she’d been broken into again, and again, and again. )

she places the bracelet on the counter and takes his hand, overturning it to slide her thumbs across his palm a few times in a kneading motion, before she bends to press her lips to the center of it. 

you're looking more yourself, here, lately. suddenly she can't remember why she'd been offended.

SEPTEMBER 2021 

“ no, don't. “  they are both surprised, she thinks, when the direction comes. it isn't a direction, though, really, so much as it is a plea : one that disrupts the energy that has been hanging by a thread between them, a precipice she'd carefully toed the edge of all night. in the space of a breath, the questioning look in his eyes becomes concern, and he straightens from the slow dip he'd begun in order to find his knees, and rather than grasping her upper arms like she thinks he wants to, his hands simply hover by them, like he's unsure of what the boundary is - unsure whether she wants to be touched. ( or, she reasons, whether this is just another portion of the game she’s been playing with him from the moment he’d come back. from the moment he’d said you’re my parallel line, and she’d been terrified by the depth of desire she’d felt, for that to be true. she’s been exacting. burned once and not inclined to be again, and suddenly it all feels pointless and performative and such a fucking waste of time. )  her hand slackens, and the end of his tie unwinds from her fist to lay like a dead thing across the palm of her hand, the tension released but the fabric wrinkled. ruined. she stares down at it for a long moment, and slowly the rigidity of her posture begins to soften ( she feels it, then, his hands coming to rest at her upper arms. he's going to say something, she knows it, and so she rushes to beat him to it. ) “ i don't want to do this anymore. i just want you. “

she doesn’t have to be looking at him to register the impact of the words, or to know that he understands what she means when she says it. “ you can leave me. or hurt me, or - change your mind. i don’t want to do this anymore. i just . . . want you “

the instinct to bleed fealty from him until she could see it, define it, wear it on her hands, had never actually returned to her the way she had felt it in the beginning.  SHE LACKED CONVICTION,  and more than a month spent engaging in a poor imitation of an earlier game where she had been in control has only affirmed to her that she is not, anymore. and moreover, that she does not want to be. 

his arms wrap her shoulders and he pulls her to him, lips finding the top of her head as she drops her forehead against his chest. i’m not leaving you. i won’t change my mind. you’re mine and i’m yours and that’s all there is to it.

JUNE 2022

no fuckin’ way is that a real word.  “ you are such a sore loser. “  there’s no pause where they wait to see if the other will laugh, they both just do and it mingles together and it sounds right, and this time they’re sitting at the table in what used to be the other bedroom, but is now a very elegant dining room. it’s very rarely used, but when it is, it is usually for this purpose, with her sitting at the head and him at her right, typically with some sort of board between them, or cards on the table. right now the subject of discussion is the word caziques stretched across the bottom edge of the scrabble board, earning an ( admittedly ) somewhat pitiless, but still impressive two triple word scores, and a double letter score, to boot.  “ look it up. “  it’s not even worth it.  the look on her face says : because you know i’m right, without the need for her to actually voice it and he drags a hand over the bottom half of his face, leaning back in the chair a little petulant. his other hand is still resting on the table and after a beat it overturns in a gesture that reads as a shrug. fine. beat the hell outta me with a word i have never heard you say once in your life.  “ that argument gets more and more transparent every time you use it, phillip. you’re embarrassing yourself. “ 

the last part comes out in a sigh, spoken as she raises from her seat to move and settle herself across his lap, arms coming to circle his shoulders just as his come to entrap her waist. the brush of her lips is brief and conciliatory, given to his temple just above the arm of his glasses. “ you wanna do a puzzle or something? it’s a lot less competition, if you need to soothe that . . . enormous ego of yours. “ there’s a pause, and he twists a little, taking a good long look at her from where his head has tipped against the back of the chair. you talk a lot of shit, madam president.

she’s not expecting it, not really, and so he knocks the breath from her a little when his grip suddenly tightens, fingers digging into her waist as he stands, and sets her on the table’s edge in the same motion. it puts them at a considerable height disparity, and so it makes sense that his index finger would tuck under her chin and guide her gaze to him, ( as if there were anything else she’d be looking at, ) and when he says you’re gonna be a lot nicer to me tonight. starting now, with his thumb tracing the bottom curve of her lip, she doesn’t bother hiding the spread of her smile. 

“ i can do that. “

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Living Our Lives

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Summary: Five wanted to see more of the world than he got to when he was working for the Commission and living during the apocalypse. So as soon as he was able to, Viktor took him on as many vacations as he could. Warnings: PTSD flashbacks, triggered panic attacks, and mentions of canon-typical violence Word Count: 3,209 Ship(s): Five Hargreeves/Viktor Hargreeves

Archive link!

A/N: So I specifically chose to write them being in a national/state park because I love being in them and writing them in a car is very boring (car rides are always boring for me because I have to sleep through them to avoid being sick). The events of this fic are also something that happened to me in real life, which was another reason I decided to write this for this prompt. I hope you guys enjoy it! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone &lt;3

fresh starts - road trip - getting back together/mutual pining - "make me" - acceptance - fairytale AU

Viktor woke to the sound of the waves crashing against the sandy pebble-ridden beach outside of their hotel room. They weren’t exactly water-front, but it was a five minute walk even at low tide to be standing directly in the ocean. The sound traveled well over the beach and the small grassy area that led up to the hotel, twisting through half-open window in the bathroom and then filling the room with the repetitive sound.

When he finally managed to pry his eyes open from where he had been sleeping, he looked over the room again. It was still cloudy outside from the rainstorm that they had the day before, but Viktor liked it like that. They had been on the road for almost a week at this point and he was already feeling nostalgic and home sick for the east coast.

The room that he and his husband had booked for the three days that they were going to be visiting attractions in the area was plain and a little outdated. The TV locked away in the entertainment center only hooked up to the little DVD player underneath it and didn’t have cable, though that wasn’t something they were worried about since they had each other to keep them busy. There was no minifridge, so all of the things that they had bought to eat where being kept cold in their cooler with a chunk of dry ice that they had bought from a convenience store in town. The beds were comfortable, with a thick quilt on the top of the sheets instead of the oversized comforters. The shower and faucet had outdated fixtures and it took a lot to get them to go to the right temperature but they always got there eventually.

Overall, everything in the little motel room was a somewhat scuffed up (like the table and desk near the sliding glass doors out the back of their room) but it was clean and homey. It was a nice break from all of the high-end hotels that they had been staying at while traveling through the bigger cities to get to the more desolate part of the country where they were going to be staying for longer. While those hotels technically had higher quality items, it always felt specifically like they were in someone else’s house and they couldn’t never really get comfortable.

“Good morning,” Five’s gruff voice mumbled as the taller man pressed a kiss to Viktor’s hair.

Viktor rolled over in the bed so that he was facing towards his husband and away from the door and the ocean. “Good morning, Five. How did you sleep?”

“I always sleep well when I know you’re here, my love,” Five murmured as he leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a kiss. Viktor let out a small hum and returned the sign of affection. He knew that his husband had probably had a couple of nightmares and spent at least an hour awake trying to calm himself down from them, but they were both doing so much better. They had been through so much in such a short time that they were going to be struggling with PTSD and nightmares for a while, but they had each other so they knew that they could handle it.

“Mm,” Viktor hummed. He buried his cold nose into the crook of Five’s neck for just a moment before the other man let out a grunt and pushed him away. Viktor rolled back to where he had been laying before and laughed, his eyes crinkling at the sides. 

Five moved so that his hands were on either side of Viktor’s shoulders and he was towering over the other man. “You sneak,” he laughed before he lowered himself down enough that he could kiss Viktor. The smaller man giggled as his husband’s entire body encompassed him so that he had the steady, breathing pressure on top of him.

They laid like that for a little while longer before they decided that they had to get up for the day. Five traveled down to the small area just off of the check-in desk that had a couple vending machines and then some breakfast offerings. The motel wasn’t like a standard hotel with a hot breakfast, but rather they had several different single-serving cereals, oatmeals, fruits, and pre-packaged baked goods available for the guests to come and get from six to ten in the morning.

Viktor stayed behind in their room so that he could ready their lunches. They were spending three days in the town that they were in and they were only on the second, so they didn’t need to pack the entire cooler. When they were doing activities they both tried to pack nonperishables or things that would be fine to sit out in the heat for a little while until they got around to eating them.

Once Five returned with their breakfast, they cuddled together on the bed while eating and listening to the sound of the waves rolling in. Viktor had unlocked their back door now that they were awake, so they were also getting the lovely smell of the ocean and fresh air flooding in from the outside. After a lifetime of scrambling to get back to each other and making sure that they could stay with each other, it was nice to have a quiet moment like this.

They finished eating and then packed up everything that they would need for their adventures before they got into the car. Five had managed to get the 1950s stingray that he had wanted when they were in the third apocalypse, even if that was only something that he had wanted back then because of the hormones flowing through his teenage-aged body. It was a car that they kept in incredibly good condition but loved to bring with them on their adventures.

Viktor was practically vibrating in his seat as they turned away from all of the buildings and cars of the town and into the lush wilderness. They had been coming to see quite a few things, including a couple of tourist-traps that they knew existed only to steal their money but were still fun to go and ogle at. The main thing that they had stopped in this specific town to go see, however, was the redwoods. There were several state and national parks littered down the coast line of Oregon and California, but the one that they were going to visit today was only a half hour drive away from their hotel. 

The highway had been built down the middle of the grand trees, which meant that they didn’t have to pay an entry fee the same way that they had for Lassen Vista Park and Yosemite National Park earlier in their trip. Of course, they’d be making a stop by the visitor’s center so that they could donate to the upkeep of the park after their hikes.

They pulled into one of the parking areas and removed themselves from the car. Five was digging through their bag to make sure that they had bug repellent, plenty of water, and the food that Viktor had packed. The other man was sitting on the hood of the car with his shirt off as he rubbed sunscreen into every spare inch of skin that he could.

“People are ogling at you, my love,” Five mumbled as he glanced up to see some of the other people sharing their parking space staring directly at his partner’s mostly-naked form.

“They can look all they want, because they’re never going to be able to even touch me,” Viktor chuckled as he turned his head up so that he was looking towards his partner.

“Oh? And why is that?” Five asked. He set the bag down so that it was leaning up against the car and then walked over to his husband. He placed his hands on either of Viktor’s hips and dragged him forward so that the smaller man was practically in his lap.

“Mostly because I’m all yours,” Viktor replied as a cat-like grin spread over his face. He put one of his sunscreen-slick hands on the back of Five’s neck and then nearly dragged him down so that they could kiss.

Five didn’t mind as he was going to have to put some of the protective material on himself once Viktor had finished with it. The ex-assassin had spent his entire life in the apocalypse trying to find a way to cover as much of his skin as possible without overheating so that he could avoid sunburn, there was no way that he was going to pass up the opportunity to never have to go through something like that ever again.

They broke apart from the kiss a few minutes later after Five knew that everyone would have looked away from them. “Damn straight. You’re mine,” he leaned down and bit over the hickey that he had put on Viktor’s neck last night despite the sour taste that coated his tongue thanks to the sunscreen.

“You’re a dork,” Viktor informed him with another quick kiss to the lips. The duo then quickly wrapped up what they were doing so that they could get started on their hike. Five finished packing the bag and then sunscreening himself while Viktor secured the backpack over his shoulders. Throughout the day they would switch out who had it, and Viktor had decided that he was going to take the first shift.

They began down the trail hand-in-hand while staring up at the huge trees that surrounded them. Sticks and roots stopped them from staring directly up at the huge fern-like leaves that wove together to create a beautiful, shady canopy. There was plenty to see at the ground-level as well. Old animal prints from when humans weren’t on the path during the off season and at night had been near permanently secured into the mud. Sorrel was hiding from the sun where the branches and leaves above allowed the bright light to cascade down onto the earth. Several of the fallen redwoods also gave way to new life, supporting clones that were just beginning their stretch up towards the sky.

There weren’t very many people on the hike that they were on, but still quite a few. They hadn’t chosen one of the ADA paths so that they wouldn’t run into people with strollers, since those ones tended to be the most family and small child friendly as well. The path that they were on was relatively flat but very long and required the ability to walk up a couple of steps when they got to the middle. It was harder than a light stroll as the smaller loops supported, but not as hard as some of the more adventures hikes that took all day. Viktor wanted to be able to do a small loop in each part of the park if they had time, and Five was dedicated to making that happen.

They walked down the path, stopping a couple of times to enjoy the birdcall or identify one of the smaller critters that they could see scuttling through the underbrush towards wherever it was that they were going. They were happy, they were at peace, especially since they were with each other.

Of course, since they were Hargreeves through-and-through, that wasn’t going to last for long.

They had just rounded part of the path so that they were being looped back to the entrance when a crisp, clear cracking sound rang through the entire forest. It silenced all of the noise from the cars a half mile away from them and the buzzing of the critters and insects that called the forest their home. 

Instinctively, Viktor harnessed some of the sharp sound so that his body began to glow with the raw force of his power. His head turning widely in circles as he tried to figure out where it had come from, his mind immediately assuming that it had been a firework or explosion. Five, on the other hand, was convinced that it had been a gunshot. He reached out so that he was holding tightly to Viktor’s shoulder just incase he needed to teleport himself and his husband away. The only reason that he hadn’t reflexively used his powers was because of how out of the habit he had gotten in their half decade of safe married life.

The cracking that followed afterwards let them know that what they had heard was not a firework or a gunshot, but rather a tree breaking down the middle.

Viktor grasped Five’s hand and quickly tugged them further down the path so that they could get away from the trees. His head was swirling in either direction as he tried to figure out where it was that the sound was coming from. The way that it echoed throughout the entire forest made it incredibly hard to pin-point where the tree was breaking and where they had to go to be able to avoid it.

Both of them could feel nothing but fear coursing through them as images of having their lives cut short by one of the huge trees that they had been so adoring of only moments prior flashed through both of their minds. The trees around them felt too ancient and magical to come crashing down like they were.

The smaller of the two men toppled back over a root so that he was flailing, his hands and arms pinwheeling before he tumbled down onto the packed earth of the path. Five’s attention was snapped away from where he was staring at the tree coming down a fourth of a mile away from them and back down to his husband.

“Viktor, are you okay?” he asked as he knelt down beside the other man so that he could make sure that he was okay. Flashes of their previous adventures, moments when they were both this scared and creating new traumas, were rushing through his mind as quickly as they could. It wasn’t something that he particularly wanted to be happening but he knew that it also wasn’t something that he got to stop just because he didn’t want it.

He didn’t reply for a while longer as he stared at where the tree had fallen. Leaves and dust rose up from the ground in a huge cloud due to the force that the redwood had come down with. Viktor could see shards of wood that had splintered off from where half of the tree had come down while the other half remained upright.

“Shit, that was so scary,” he whispered as he brought his hand up to his forehead. He was quivering slightly as the adrenaline in his system began to ease up and left his muscles exhausted. 

Five let out a near-hysterical laugh. He had been through a lot, including a couple of buildings falling down as he scrambled to get out of them, but this had still managed to shock him. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Viktor’s mouth to try and reassure him that it was okay. “Certainly wasn’t what I was expecting to happen today.”

The smaller man let out a jerky laugh. He tilted his forehead forward so that it was resting on Five’s shoulder. “I love you, you know that?”

“I would certainly hope so, otherwise being married to me for this long is going to be rather embarrassing for the both of us,” he chuckled. He pressed another kiss to the top of Viktor’s head and then helped his husband up.

The other people that had been hiking along their trail when the tree had fallen were also rather shaken up. They were talking amongst themselves and pointing out towards the brand new, splintered boards of red wood. Before anyone had a chance to venture off of the trail to see what had happened, several rangers appeared. One of them roped off the edge with bright yellow tape to prevent any of them from being able to walk to the fallen tree without stepping over the barrier.

The other rangers walked through the path, carefully picking their way around the sorrel and ferns so that they could reach the tree and examine all the damage. The one remaining park worker turned around and then said, “I know that was scary but we’ve got it handled! Thank you all for your cooperation, please stay on the path. Out this way is a lot of poison oak and wildlife that should be left to the professionals to deal with.”

“Makes sense,” Viktor mumbled. He picked himself up from the ground and then brushed the dirt and crunched leaves off of his pants. He then ran a shaky hand through his hair and turned towards his husband. “I know that it wasn’t the plan for today but I think we should just go back to the hotel and try to calm down from this.”

Five’s mouth flickered down into a frown. He reached down so that he could tilt his husband’s face up towards him. “Vik, remember what Dr. Kelly said. We can’t let a small bad part of the experience make us stop from doing something that we were planning on and looking forward to. That’s what happened the last time we went on a roadtrip and we both felt extremely disappointed by it.”

“I don’t want to push you any further if you feel triggered, though,” he mumbled. He turned his head down as much as he could with the hand still underneath his chin. “I knew that there was a chance that a couple of trees could come down while we were here. I did a lot of research about it and the ground has been so dry that several redwoods have already come down on the roads and stuff. None in this area, so I thought that it would be fine.”

“Viktor,” Five stopped his ramble before he could continue to send himself into a deeper spiral of shame. “You did all the research that you needed to and then made an educated decision with the information that you had. You didn’t bring us here knowing for certain that there would be something triggering for us both. I also know how desperately you wanted to come here. I mean, you’ve wanted to visit this park for years now. The worst has basically already happened, so let’s keep going with our plan, yeah?”

The ex-superhero let out a small laugh. He tilted his head into Five’s hold so that they were still close together. “You know what, you’re right. Let’s go enjoy the rest of our vacation, okay? We don’t need to let one thing ruin everything else for us.”

Five leaned down and pressed a kiss to his husband’s mouth before they started back down the path so that they could continue the rest of their day. They were a little bit jumpier than they would have been had the tree not fell, but they were still having a wonderful time with each other.

[watchmegetobsessed]

THE SUN WILL RISE (part 6)

A/N: here we are, last part of this little series! i hope you guys enjoyed it, i did, and now im excited to work on the next story!

PAIRING: College!Long-hair!Harry X Reader

WORD COUNT: 5.8k

SERIES MASTERPOST | SUPPORT ME!

It’s been only a few weeks since the last time you saw Harry, but it feels like a decade has passed since you said goodbye at the airport. Now you’re on your way to pick him up and you can’t wait to see him again, to feel his arms around you, kiss his lips… You never thought you could miss someone this much, but here you are.

The arriving terminal is full of people when you arrive and check the board to see that Harry’s plane just landed, so he could be here any moment. You lean against a pillar and stare at the exit, your heart jumping in your chest every time someone walks out who resembles him even the slightest.

And then it’s finally him.

He looks just like when you parted ways in December, his hair is let down, he’s wearing a black hoodie and a pair of black jeans, carrying a sports bag on one shoulder as he stops in his tracks, his gaze roaming through the crowd until they find you.

You move towards each other at the same time, pushing past waiting relatives and loved ones before finally meeting halfway. You throw your arms around his neck and practically smash against him, he catches you just in time, his bag sliding off of his shoulder and landing on the floor with a thump as he holds you in his embrace.

“Hi baby,” he murmurs, kissing the side of your head.

“Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to live together just when we started dating,” you mumble against his neck, making him laugh.

“I’m guessing you missed me.”

You just nod and hold him a little longer before leaning back just enough so he can kiss you. He takes his time savoring your lips, his hands holding your face as if he had some kind of treasure in his palms. You used to frown at couples who made out at public places but now you’ve gladly become one of them. 

The ride to the resort is over an hour, but it’s just some extra time you can spend alone with Harry. You try to hold him a briefing about the key characters of the family, who he should be watching out for (basically everyone) and who are the safe people (maybe your aunt Cecilia on her better days). He listens carefully and nods along, keeps telling you there’s nothing to worry about, but you know better than that.

“You haven’t met my family, Harry,” you groan, when he repeats the same thing.

“I met your sister,” he cheekily replies.

“But she… she could be fine. And she was alone, she’s different when the whole family is around.”

“Y/N, it’s gonna be fine. I can handle it.”

“I’m serious, Harry. My dad can… he can easily say the most hurtful thing and not even realize it.”

“Okay, I’m a big boy, I can handle that,” he chuckles and reaching over he gives your thigh a squeeze.

“Alright,” you sigh and then add with a chuckle: “Big boy.”

Even though you told Harry in advance that the whole thing is gonna be unreasonably over the top, his eyes widen when he sees the luxury resort that was rented out just for the wedding. Of course, everything is paid by your father, because his favorite daughter deserves only the best.

Grabbing his bag from the trunk of the car you head inside, hands clasped together and you’re silently praying you don’t run into anyone before you could reach your room, but it seems like the gods have turned their back on you. Just as you walk into the lounge, you’re met with your father and one of his partners that obviously needed to be invited to the wedding to keep up the good partnership and make it look like they are friends, when in real life, they would both push each other to the sharks if they had the chance.

“Fuck,” you breathe out when your father notices you right away and seemingly excuses himself from the conversation. “Brace yourself,” you hiss to Harry.

He gives your hand a squeeze before your dad walks up to the two of you, not even trying to hide the way he is examining the man standing beside you.

“Hey dad, this is Harry, my boyfriend,” you speak up, not as confidently as you wanted to, but it’s too late now. “Harry, this is my father, James.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir,” Harry holds his hand out. Your dad glimpses down at it before finally taking it and giving it a shake. 

“Harry, I finally get to see Y/N’s mysterious plus one, huh!”

His words alone would be normal, but there is just something in the way he said them that makes you shiver. The cold gaze he is shooting Harry before letting go of his head, you just know he is already taking the poor boy apart in his head. 

“Not so mysterious anymore,” Harry smiles at him politely. 

“No, definitely not,” your dad agrees.

“We’ll see you later at dinner, dad. Harry must be tired from all the traveling.”

“Sure. Please dress properly for dinner,” he adds, clearly referring to his simple outfit. You just take Harry’s hand and pull him towards the elevators, feeling your dad’s burning gaze on the back of your head until the elevator doors close finally.

“He is…” Harry starts, looking for the right words. “He is surely something,” he ends up saying and the two of you just laugh at his wording. 

“You’re right about that, yeah.”

You have just a few short hours before dinner that you spend making up for the time you spent apart and then taking a walk to look around the luxurious resort that truly looks like a winter wonderland. The staff is already dressing up the place for the big day tomorrow, fairy lights and white and silver decoration hanging from every corner with a hint of light blue. 

Harry doesn’t comment on it, but you know what he is thinking: that this is all just so over the top, way too much for a wedding. You agree. Even if you weren’t the blacksheep of your family and you got treated the same way as your sister, you wouldn’t want your wedding to be like this.

More like an intimate little event somewhere hidden, but special, only with your loved ones. No business partners or work related people. You never understood how your dad can mix work and his private life so much. 

There’s a massive sunroom in the back of the building, watching over the snowy mountains in the distance, that’s where you settle for a bit before heading back to the room to get ready for dinner.

“I told my mum about you,” Harry speaks up, breaking the momentary comfortable silence.

“You did?” you ask with genuine surprise. You’ve been officially dating for just about a month and you spent weeks apart from that, you weren’t expecting him to tell his family about you.

“Of course. She knows me too well, she would have noticed that something happened, so I went ahead and told her about us,” he grins at you.

“And… what did you say?”

“In case you want to know if I shared our past and the deal we made, I didn’t. She knew I moved in with a friend when I had to leave the dorm and I told her that probably living together brought us together. Which is not entirely a lie,” he chuckles.

“Right,” you let out a small chuckle as well. 

You’re tempted to ask him about what his mother had to say about you or the relationship, but you don’t want to look too eager or anxious. However, Harry knows you well enough to figure out what’s on your mind.

“She is thrilled to meet you as soon as possible,” he tells you softly.

“Really?” You breathe out.

“Of course. She wants to meet the girl who makes her son so happy.”

Your nervous thoughts turn into heat in your chest that spreads up on your neck to your ears and cheeks. He seemingly never fails to make you feel so cared for like never before. 

Leaning closer you press your lips against his, kissing him as your response when words fail to come to your tongue.

“Wow, look at these young lovers!”

Your sister’s voice snaps you out of the moment and when you pull back you see her approaching the two of you with Gabriel by her side. You and Harry stand up to greet them, Harry kisses Alice on the cheeks and then shakes hands with Gabriel.

“Nice to see you again,” Harry smiles at your sister politely, one arm coming to curl around your waist effortlessly, but you see that Alice notices the movement right away, a small smile playing on her lips.

“I’m glad you’re here too. Y/N has been moping around without you all winter break.”

“Hey!” you protest, though she is right.

“What? I saw you checking your phone every ten minutes to see if Harry has texted you,” she outs you without hesitation. “Y/N, I want to discuss something with you about the ceremony, can I steal you for a moment?”

“Oh, sure.”

“Gabe, why don’t you show Harry the sports center downstairs?” Alice suggests, clearly wanting to get some alone time with you.

“Sure,” he nods. “Do you play anything?...” he asks as the two of them walk away.

“What’s up with the ceremony?” you ask, worried that something might have come up.

“Nothing, just wanted to ask you something without the guys around. Tell me, when did you and Harry get together?” 

You freeze at her question, but then manage to recover and act like nothing happened.

“What do you mean? I told you we started dating–”

“No, I don’t want the little story you made up. I know it was all fake when I visited you, but now it’s genuine. When did the change happen?”

You open your mouth a few times just to close it, unsure what to say or how to react. 

“How… how did you know?” you ask at last

“Please, the two of you were so awkward when I visited, clearly not a real couple. But I could tell you both had feelings for each other, so I decided to wait till you figure it out yourself. That kiss at brunch though…” she chuckles, fanning herself with her hands. “That was hot.”

“Yeah, it’s a shame we barely talked for weeks after that,” you mumble under your breath.

“But it seems like it all played out well in the end,” she smiles at you. “You look good together. That guy is wrapped around your finger.”

“You think so?” 

“Absolutely,” she smirks. “I can see it in the way he looks at you. I’m glad you finally found each other.”

“Me too,” you nod with a soft smile. 

Harry is your rock during dinner that evening. He is such a natural, meeting all these new people and charming them with his confidence. You’re in awe how he can easily chat with basically anyone. 

The only person who seems skeptical about him is your dad. You catch him staring at your boyfriend several times during dinner and the look on his face is just not too pleasant. It’s kind of the same you usually get from him, you’re just not sure how Harry earned it when he’s been amazing all evening.

“So, Harry, what do you study?” your dad asks at one point.

“Graphics design, sir,” he answers and you swear you see the disappointment in your dad’s eyes at his response. 

“And what do you plan to do with such a degree?”

“Well, I think I have plenty of options. I’m really interested in doing digital illustrations though, I’ve actually designed a few book covers, maybe I might continue doing that.”

“So, no solid plan after graduation?”

“Dad,” you plead quietly. He is obviously trying to shame Harry and his studies and plans or the lack of them in this case, when it’s completely fine that he doesn’t have his future planned entirely. 

He gives you a piercing look as if it was a warning for you not to get involved. Harry’s hand finds your knee under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze to let you know he’s got it.

“I have plenty of plans, sir. But I don’t want to restrict myself to just one while I’m still not done with my studies.”

You’re amazed how he can stay so calm and collected, there’s not one ounce of irritation in his tone. 

Your dad doesn’t say a word, just lifts his nose up and then turns to talk to someone else, a clear sign that he felt like he couldn’t control the conversation the way he wanted. Pride fills your chest, knowing that Harry could stand his ground against him and he didn’t let your father intimidate him.

Leaning closer you press a tiny kiss to his cheek, which earns you a smile as he glances at you.

“What was that for?” he quietly asks.

“For being so amazing,” you murmur back, his smile stretching even wider. 

Dinner seems to never end, but when it’s finally time to retreat and get some rest before the big day tomorrow, you’re aching to finally be alone with Harry. When you get into the elevator you’re already eyeing him with lust, but not just in a sexual sense. The way he dealt with your family, especially your dad tonight, how he didn’t let anything or anyone get a rise of him, he remained calm and patient, even in moments when you could feel the hair standing up on your back.

���Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks with a chuckle and you swear you see him blushing. “Is there something on my face?” he jokes.

“Yeah,” you nod and moving closer you place a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, his hand coming to rest on your lower back out of instinct. “This was on your face,” you giggle.

“Mm, put it back,” he teases you, making you laugh, but you obey and move to kiss him again, this time on his lips. 

You walk to your room, hand in hand, feeling like a giddy teenager, a tired sigh slipping through your lips when you finally walk inside and the door locks behind you. You’ve been dreading this moment of the evening, especially because you’re wearing a matching underwear set you bought just for tonight. You knew it’s gonna be a challenging evening, so you thought you’d end it on a better note.

“Would you mind unzipping my dress?” you bashfully ask, turning your back to him.

“Sure,” he mumbles and you don’t miss the way the corners of his mouth curl up.

You lift your hair up to give him access to the zipper, which he pulls down slowly before brushing the straps off your shoulders, letting the dress bunch around your waist before you push it further down so it pools at your feet. His hands find your waist and move to your stomach as he pulls you into his embrace from behind, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear.

“You had this on all evening?” he murmurs, before kissing the soft spot underneath your ear. You tilt your head to the side to give him more access and he eagerly peppers the curve of your neck with soft kisses. 

“Wanted to surprise you,” you hum with your eyes closed, giving yourself over to the sensation. “Though you might need something extra after tonight.”

“I might need this extra every night,” he chuckles against your heated skin before his hands get a hold of your hips and he turns you around so he can finally kiss you. 

Soon enough, his dress shirt and pants come undone and thrown to the floor as you fall to the neatly made bed, limbs tangled together while your kisses never stop. Feeling confident, you push him so he lies on his back on the mattress and you get on top of him, the sight of his exposed chest in front of you burns into your mind forever. Leaning down you capture his lips in a sweet kiss.

“Thank you,” you whisper against his pink lips.

“For what?” 

“For… everything. I couldn’t do this without you.”

He exhales through his nose, one hand coming to cup your jaw as he runs his thumb over your cheek, looking deep into your eyes.

“You definitely could. Don’t belittle yourself, Y/N. You’re capable of so many amazing things. But I’m glad I could be here to support you.”

Turning your head you kiss into the palm of his hand, every time Harry does or says something that’s proof of how much he cares about you, part of you doesn't even know how to process it, because you haven’t experienced anything like this before. 

His hand moves to the back of your neck and pulls you down so your lips touch, but he doesn’t kiss you just yet, holding your gaze. You can feel his chest rising and falling underneath you and you’re pressed against him so tight that you feel his heart hammering in his chest. You’re just about to ask him if everything is alright when he speaks up at last.

“I love you.”

The words sink right into your chest, wrap around your heart and burn into it while they also echo in your mind, on repeat. You move back, just enough so you can look him in the eyes easily, his pupil is dilated as he stares back at you, lips parted. 

“Do you mean it?” you ask in a whisper.

“Of course,” he breathes out, brushing your hair out of your face before taking your face in his hands. “You’re an easy person to love, Y/N. I hope I can make you believe that soon.”

With wobbling lips you lean down and kiss him with everything you can’t say out loud. You know you feel the same way about him, but you need more time to be able to say it, so you tell him without words this time.

And he gets the message. Loud and clear and the way he kisses you back reassures you about it.

“Okay, are you ready?” you call out from the bathroom, nervously smoothing your hand over the soft fabric of your dress.

“Have been for like… twenty minutes!” Harry teases you from outside with a chuckle. You wanted a big reveal for your bridesmaid dress, because it’s the only aspect of the wedding you’ve been looking forward to. Alice has excellent taste and she made sure the dresses are flattering to everyone, so it fits you perfectly, emphasizing your best features.

“Alright, alright. I’m coming!” you announce before taking a deep breath and opening the door. 

You walk out, Harry is sitting on the edge of the double bed, already dressed in his black suit pants paired with a blue shirt, the sleeves rolled up to flaunt his tattooed arms, his hair in a neat bun at the back of his head. He looks insanely hot and you’re already having a hard time not throwing yourself at him.

Harry looks up as you step out of the bathroom, holding the long skirt of the dress with one hand before letting go of it as you stop in front of him, nervously showing your outfit to him. His eyes scan over your body, several times, with his lips parted and the look on his face mirrors an expression of someone who just found the biggest treasure in the world.

“Woah,” he breathes out at last, standing from the bed holding his hands out as if he was afraid to touch you. Pride fills your chest and you give him a twirl to show him the whole look and he is drinking up every drop of it. 

“Do you like it?” you ask, biting into your bottom lip. 

“I fucking love it,” he groans before his hands finally grip your hips to pull you against him. “You look beautiful, baby,” he murmurs before kissing you.

Since last night, you’ve been in a bubble of joy, the wedding, your family and everything that’s been weighing down on your shoulders stopped existing inside the walls of your room. Harry’s confession and the passionate night you spent together after has brought you blinding bliss, ignoring anything that’s beyond him.

“You look amazing too,” you smile at him, running your hands over his arms, up to his broad shoulders. “Let’s get this over with,” you sigh before stealing one last kiss.

Luckily, your sister doesn’t turn into a bridezilla, she is actually taking it so well, making it easier for everyone else around her. You keep going back and forth between her and Harry before the ceremony, even though Harry reassures you every time that he is fine on his own, you shouldn’t worry about him. Honestly, you just don’t want him to run into your dad and have to deal with him on his own, though he is pretty busy himself, pretending like the wedding is just as much about him as it is about Alice.

The ceremony is beautiful, the back of the room where the altar is has floor to ceiling windows that look out on the mountains. It truly is a winter wonderland. However all you can look at is Harry, who keeps staring back at you, as if you were in the center of the attention. As your sister and Gabe exchange their vows, you share a secret, intimate moment with Harry too with just smiles and looks, but it says more than words can.

When the ceremony is over you’re quick to make your way to Harry, planning to stay by his side for the rest of the evening. 

“You were supposed to look at the bride and groom, did you forget?” you tease him, as you lace your fingers together and head to the ballroom where the reception is going to be held.

“I found someone else I liked better,” he smirks cheekily, before pressing a kiss to the side of your head and your stomach is somersaulting from his words.

Everything is going as planned, you’re even having a good time and what you enjoy the most is when you get to introduce Harry to people. Finally, you’re not the sad little single sister, you’re glowing with Harry by your side. 

You eat and drink, dance and have a blast finally. You do more of the dancing, the DJ is playing amazing songs, Harry is always eager to have you in his arms whether it’s an upbeat or slow song. He is a great dancer as you learn it and you gladly stay on the dancefloor with him until your feet start hurting from the high heels.

“Let’s have a break,” you giggle, dragging him back to your table.

“Want another drink?” 

“Yeah, that sounds great,” you smile at him, plopping down to your chair. He leans down and kisses you shortly before heading over to the open bar. 

Your sixth sense kicks in before you even see your dad sitting down beside you. The hair on your arms stands up and your blissful mood is gone in an instant. 

“Stop this parade, this is not a nightclub.”

“W-what?” you ask, turning to face him, but he is not even looking at you.

“This Harry guy… He is not the right fit for the family.”

“Why would you say that?” His words are like punches in your stomach and you feel your confidence crumbling.

“He’s got very little plans and even those are bullshit. You’re gonna be a lawyer, you can’t choose just anyone, we have a reputation to keep up.”

“Dad…” you breathe out, so many things are crowding your mind as you try to process what’s happening. 

“I don’t want to see him after the wedding. You’re better off without him, he would just keep you back.”

You’re seeing red. Like never before.

It’s one thing for him to destroy you and make you believe you’re worth nothing. You’re used to that and you can deal with it. But for him to talk like this about Harry? That does not sit right with you. He doesn’t know him, he just judges him based on some ridiculous assumptions he made after having one short conversation with him. 

“Don’t talk about him like that,” you speak up, your voice coming out stronger and more confident than you expected, but you guess that’s what rage is doing to you. Seemingly you surprise your dad with your reply, he looks at you with an expression you’ve never seen before, a mixture of disbelief, anger and confusion. 

“What did you just say?” he grits his teeth, shooting you a death glare.

“I said, don’t talk about him like that! You don’t even know him! But still, he is an amazing person and I’m lucky someone like him wants to be with me. Harry is caring and inspiring and he treats his loved ones with so much respect. But what do you know about that, am I right?” you snap and you just know this is the moment when the dam has broken and you won’t stop until you unload everything that’s piled up throughout the years. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he growls, clearly irritated by your behavior. From the corner of your eyes you can see Harry approaching the two of you with the drinks in hands, but he is quick to realize something is happening.

“It means that you never treated me like you love me. Like a father should treat his daughter. You put me through hell, trying to turn me into my own sister and nothing I did was enough for you, but I swallowed it all, just wanted to please you. Because that’s what children do, they want to see their parents be proud of them, though you never showed an ounce of that to me. It’s fine, I will eventually get over that. But I will not let you talk like this about him. He showed me that I’m more than just a burden, which I am to you. I know I always have been.”

Harry places the drinks on the table as you stand up from the table, already knowing you’ll have to leave as soon as possible after you’re done talking.

“You know what? You always said I should do things that take me ahead and make me succeed. I finally figured out what would help me do that,” you chuckle bitterly. “I just need to get myself away from you and live my own life. Thanks for nothing, dad.”

When you turn around to storm away you see that Alice was standing close enough to hear what you just said. She is staring back at you with guilt and when she opens her mouth to say something you just shake your head and march out with Harry following you right behind.

The farther you get from the ballroom the more the adrenaline wears out of your system and reality sets back in, your actions finally sinking into your consciousness. 

All the things you just told your father. All the pent up feelings and hurt that just snapped right out of you. It comes down crashing on you and in a blink of an eye, you can barely breathe.

Harry notices as panic takes over you and when you take a turn towards your room he grabs you by your shoulders and pulls you to the side.

“Hey, hey! Y/N, look at me,” he tells you, slouching enough so his gaze is in line with yours that is now filled with tears. “Baby, look at me. Why are you crying?”

“I-I don’t… Harry, what did I do?” you wheeze, your chest heaving crazily as you lean against the wall.

“You stood up for me and yourself! You did amazing, okay? Nothing to panic about.”

“B-But my d-dad… The things I-I said… He will never talk to me again.”

“If that’s what happens, it’s not your fault. He treated you horribly all your life, made you feel like nothing. You did what should have been done a long time ago, Y/N. No one deserves to be treated like this, especially not by a parent.”

He takes your face in his hands and wipes your cheeks with his thumbs, urging you to look him in the eyes.

“The guilt you’re feeling is because of all the mistreating you had to go through growing up. You were conditioned to want to please your parents at all cost, even if it takes your own happiness. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself, Y/N.”

You can only nod, gulping your tears back as you try to calm yourself down. Harry stays with you the whole time, pulling you into his embrace and giving you the support you always needed. 

“Harry?” you breathe out, looking up at him again.

“Yeah?”

“What’s gonna happen now?” you ask in a weak voice. “What if… What if I never see my family again? If they never speak to me again? What will happen after this?” you voice your fears and questions.

“I’ll tell you what will happen, alright?” he speaks to you softly. “The sun will rise. Tomorrow and the day after and so on. Life will go on and you’ll learn to live your own life without wanting to please the people who are not worthy of your time. And I will be there with you the whole time, okay? We will figure it all out.”

His words slowly sink in and you nod. All you care about is to have Harry with you on this new journey you’re going on, wherever it takes you. 

“Okay,” you whisper. Harry leans down and brushes a soft kiss to your lips. When you pull back you look him in the eyes and say the words that've been forming on the tip of your tongue. “I love you.”

Harry stares back at you in awe, the corners of his mouth curling up as he holds your face in his palms like you’re made of glass.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he kisses you softly. “Now, I think it’s time to leave, alright? Let’s pack our bags and find a flight back home.”

“Home?” you ask, looking up at him.

“Yeah,” he nods, smiling. “Home, where we live together and where you truly belong.”

You change from your fancy clothes and start packing up the room, while you’re looking for the earliest flight you can take. Luckily, there is one in two hours so you’re planning to make it to catch that.

Then there’s a knock on the door. You look at Harry with panic.

“Do you think it’s him?” you ask in a whisper.

“I don’t know.”

“Y/N? It’s me, Alice,” you sister calls out from the other side of the door. At first you feel relief, but then you realize that you literally just walked out of her wedding reception.

Rushing to the door you open it and find her standing there in her white dress, a concerned look on her face.

“Alice…” you breathe out, not sure what to say. Luckily, she knows.

“It’s okay. I understand. I’m not mad that you’re leaving,” she reassures you with a sad smile. “I just… I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize?” you ask and then realize that she is still out in the hallway, so you step aside and let her walk in.

“I heard what you told dad and… I feel so bad, Y/N.”

“You didn’t do it.”

“I know, but I witnessed it and never said anything. I never stood up for you. I was a horrible sister, I should have taken your side, but I didn’t do anything.”

“You always had your fair share of pressure on you, Alice. I don’t blame you,” you softly tell her.

“But I do blame myself. So I’m sorry and… I hope you don’t want to cut me out too.”

“Of course not,” you breathe out, hugging her to reassure her you’re fine. “Is dad mad?” you ask, rubbing your face with your hand when you move back.

“Oh, he is vivid!” she chuckles, wiping off the tears that escaped her eyes. “He is fuming about how disrespectful you are, but I told him to just drink a shot and relax,” she snorts.

“He is famous for knowing how to relax,” you laugh. 

“Do you think he won’t want to see me? Like, ever?”

“I don’t know. He is so unpredictable…” she sighs looking around. “You’re leaving now?”

“Yes, we found a flight back home. I’m sorry I’m leaving in the middle of your wedding, but I just… I can’t stay here any longer.”

“It’s okay, I get it,” she shakes her head. “Just promise you won’t shut me out.”

“I promise.”

You hug one more time before Alice moves over to Harry who’s been quietly packing up. She stands in front of him and he looks at her patiently.

“Take good care of her, Harry,” she pleads and he nods right away.

“Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Alice stays for a few more minutes, but then she needs to go back, after all, it’s her wedding that’s happening. She is the only one who comes to your room until you leave. It’s bittersweet, knowing that your dad didn’t realize the weight of your words and now he is letting you leave, just like that. But you also feel free in a way. You most likely need time to process it, but you know you’re heading into the right direction.

The flight is delayed, so it’s the middle of the night by the time you get to board. Every time you feel your anxiety growing, Harry just simply takes your hand and squeezes it to let you know you’re not alone. Sitting by the window you smile when you realize that Harry has fallen asleep, his head on your shoulder, one hand on your knee. You press a soft kiss to the crown of his head, careful not to wake him up before turning towards the window.

As the plane is flying above the fluffy clouds, the sky is starting to light up, the sun rising as a new day is starting. You can’t help but smile, thinking at what Harry told you, because, of course, he was right. 

And today is the first day of your new life that you’ll share with him, leaving your past behind.

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