#like i was goin mental dude like do you not see?? THE VISION

[penne-cillin]

TUMBLR USER KIMABUTCH DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID. IM ILL RN IM LOSING MY MIND

[writes about Jesus but it’s actually about being trans] [writes about being trans but it’s actually about Jesus]

[twistedastrology]

🪐 my take on the outer planets 🪐

---------------------------------------------------

saturn is constantly given a bad rap just because it does its job- saturn's placement in your chart isn't always a bad thing- it can signify difficulties in that area of your life, yes, but it can also tell you what you have unwavering resolve in (especially if you're saturn ruled or saturn is positively aspected)

for example, my saturn is in my 1st house in leo (cancer rising) and I've seen people say that saturn in the 1st house can indicate a fear of growing old or being lonely, whatever- my personal experience with this placement is, ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you i am fucking petrified of losing myself- losing my mind, losing who i am and dying early are my worst fears (dreams in which im dying are NOT the best ive ever had 😮‍💨)

but as a result of this, i know myself SO well. i do think saturn in the 1st house can indicate issues with finding yourself IF it's afflicted, which mine isn't (thank god 💔💔💔)

im also very scared of growing out of touch with the world around me- dont get me wrong, i love being a hermit, but if im ever that old man that can't understand trends or whatever and is overly cynical of younger generations... dawg- take me the fuck out 😕

uranus i LOOOOVEEEEE and i think it stands for so much more than just rebellion- my uranus has a LOT of power in my chart (so does my neptune but they're in mutual reception 😮‍💨) because my moon is cusped (1° pisces, but i feel both pisces and aquarius influence 💔), and it and my mercury im pretty sure are why i think backwards as fuck- (fun fact, my mercury is FIRMLY direct but it likes to act like it's in retrograde 💔💔💔💔)

but!! more interestingly, i have a very specific mental process where whenever im goin thru it, i cant stay goin thru it for a while- if my brain is fucked up for a little too long and i start getting pissed about it, my uranus takes over and legitimately propels me through the pain in almost an instant. i could be going through something for weeks and once i start getting pissed about it or legitimately bored of it, the next day it's like nothing ever happened BUT i still learned from it

ofc I have to do something to trigger that effect, which is where my mars in cancer comes in and i do a workout to tap into the physical catharsis and BOOM, go to bed and wake up the next day a new man 🙏🙏🙏 god bless 🙏🙏🙏

neptune Ok i am not entirely sure what made whoever said neptune is the higher octave of venus think that but I've never been able to see it. this might be controversial as hell but neptune is the higher octave of the moon to me and jupiter is the higher octave of venus. THAT BEING SAID-

neptune is an absolutely fascinating planet to me lately and im not sure why- i do have a couple transit aspects with it right now but ive wanted to write about it literally all day now- U KNOW i might love it so much bc it's in my 8th house actually that would make sense- ANYWAY-

neptune to me is the source of all the visions from god i get, especially my creative ones- (source: it came to me in a vision from god.) the moon is a very creative placement in my opinion (i have a WILDLY different idea of the moon that i can go over in another post), so neptune follows a similar current, but neptune is higher creativity, higher emotion, etc- it's the planet of spirituality and the absolute depths of our subconscious, like to the point of past lives, that's the kinda shit neptune fucks with

but because it's also the higher octave of the moon, to me it can absolutely represent addictions and vices, everything garbage- personally, my neptune isn't very afflicted at all but i also have a major lack of earth in my chart so i Do find myself experiencing classic neptune-based paranoia sometimes- fuck dude i went neurotic for a week at one point, that was some serious neptune delusion- But my uranus/saturn pulled me back from it, because like i said, saturn makes me petrified of losing myself, so those two joined forces like "ya this shit ain't cool actually take it out back and shoot it"

i might make a post on specifically neptune stuff soon and/or right after this bc the hyperfixation is hyperfixating 💔💔

pluto i FUCK with because it's such a soul searchy planet (my 8th house is very active so ofc i fuck with pluto) in the darkest ways and i love that shit- jonathan davis has his pluto in a fucking mastery degree (29° virgo) and i am to this day like 😦 over it- and it makes SO much sense for him to have PLUTO of all planets in a mastery degree- and i have mine in 26° sag so like im not that far behind... 💔

but dude that's mastery of some SERIOUS transformative powers- that's mastery of the wildly darker shit in life and that is so fucking tight to me- i value that kinda stuff more than anything dude- probably why korn is my fav band (been listening to them as i write this 😭😭)

one thing abt pluto that i DONT agree with tho, and this is more of a scorpio thing BUT i know everyone loves to say scorpios are the sexy signs but dawg... it's cancers... i swear 2 god it's cancers- i will write an entire fucking post on cancers and why i HATE everyone's interpretations of them bc everyone's like "cnanncers are cRYBbaueiis and tHyeyre the most emOtIknal siGnsns 💔💔💔" Bro. Bro. Bro dont do me like that for the love of god. that shit made me hate my rising sign for SO long and also not relate to it!!!! then i started doin my own research and found out "Oh fuck nvm im totally a cancer"

BUT if you look at pluto like the actual God- nowhere in his mythology (that I read anyway- i could be wrong i dont wanna act like i know everything) does it say anything abt him ruling over sex or sumn like that- but everyone says pluto rules over sex!!!!!! Where!!!!!!!!!!! dawg they said he was a god of abundance bc he ruled over the underworld and gems and stuff were found underground 😭😭😭

i do think pluto fucks with taboo shit though But back in the ye olden days when astrology was being developed, sex was not taboo at all, that's a new development that i think uranus fucks with more because uranus is a very future focused planet in my humble opinion

i could definitely keep writing but i think this is already a novel SO- to specify tho, this is all my opinion of the planets, ive read PLEEEEEENTY of books and stuff so by no means do i not know how this shit works, but my uranus makes me rip everything apart and make my own take so 💔

[darling-i-read-it]

Aww, I love how you wrote the proposal headcanon, it was so lovely!! 😍 Could you write hc about them comforting their s/o from nightmares, please? 🥺 Sorry for bothering again, but I love your writing. Also you captured Vinc and Lester so well.

dude I’m so glad you liked the last one! this is the kind of thing that I read on tumblr and was always a little intimidated by it cause everyone who does it is so good so i’m so glad you liked the last one enough to want another one! I hope you enjoy! also this prompt my beloved  

Michael Myers

- you woke up with a gasp and Michael woke up at the sound of you waking him almost instantly

- he looked at you as you caught your breath from the dream

- you looked over at him and jumped that he was so close which surprised him 

- you had gotten pretty used to him showing up in random places without making a noise

- he cocked his head to the side and after you finally calmed down some you told him about the dream

- in it, he had almost killed you when he was busy killing everyone, because he didn’t recognize you 

- he felt a very faint stab of guilt in his chest; he didn’t want you to think that he would kill you or hurt you at all for that matter

- he wrapped his arm under your legs and lifted you up to sit on his lap

- he put his arms around you tightly, trying to convey to you that you would not ever be hurt by him

- you understood what he was trying to say and nuzzled your head in his neck

- you sat like that for a while and eventually fell back asleep in his arms

Jason Voorhees

- Jason was already awake when you got up

- he had just returned to the cabin and was about to settle in for sleep, just taking his mask off and setting it on the bedside table when you gasped and woke up, frantically touching your chest 

- it surprised him and he did jump just a tad

 - then he realized that you were scared; he recognized fear in someones eyes easily

- he quickly got on the bed but the sudden movement made you jump and he had to slow down

- he put his hand on your arm and gave you a look of concern 

- you told him about the dream you had, that you had gotten lost in the woods and hadn’t been able to get back to the cabin, that Jason hadn’t been able to find you

- that sounded like a nightmare to him alright

- he gingerly held your hands and wanted to hug you so tight that it might make you burst but he didn’t because it looked like you could use the space 

- you ended up hugging him though and he hugged you back so the world couldn’t hurt you 

- he didn’t let you go into the woods for the next week 

Bo Sinclair

- you woke up slowly, the feeling of the dream still washing over you and leaving a pit in your stomach 

- you had a dream that Bo had broken up with you only for him to leave and die before you could ever get his reasoning 

- you couldn’t remember how he had died but it left a terrible feeling in your heart that caused you to sit up and turn over to him 

- he was sound asleep and you didn’t want to wake him up but your movement woke him up anyway 

- he looked up at you, confused and brows furrowed

- ‘Everything good doll?” 

- you wanted to tell him that it was, that he should just go back to bed but you shook your head before you could do that

- you told him about your dream and tried to make it seem better than it was but he could tell how much it had hurt you

- he sat up and hugged you tightly, kissing you gently and looking you in the eyes

- “You’re stuck with me. I ain’t goin anywhere” he promised 

- you sat up for a moment longer just talking to get your mind off of it

- it was a very rare show of Bo’s kindness that was there, just buried deep inside him 

Vincent Sinclair

- Vincent wasn’t in the room when you woke up which did cause you to go into more of a panic than if he was in the room

- you had a much too vivid dream of him being murdered, some person who’s face you couldn’t see stabbing him again and again while you were left helpless

- you got out of bed to go and find him, trying to hold in the tears that were coming quickly 

- you found him where you thought you would find him; with his wax figures 

- he was making a new one that he thought you would particularly like 

- he was startled at the sound of you coming in but when he saw how distraught you were he felt instantly bad that he hadn’t come to bed with you 

- he quickly rushed over and wrapped his arms around you, giving you a very concerned look

- you told him about the dream you had and he again, mentally kicked himself that he wasn’t there to help you the second you woke up

- he hugged you tightly and ran his hands through your hair 

- he didn’t speak much but he thought it would be the appropriate time, just to whisper to you how much he loved you, slowly and hopefully to help 

- it did help and you were moved at his choice to speak to you in that moment

- he let you stay with him because you didn’t want to go back to bed so soon 

Lester Sinclair

- Lester was dead asleep when you woke up from a nightmare

- you were crying, but silently, because you were trying your best not to wake him up beside you

- it had been about him, that one of the people he lured in to Ambrose had finally snapped and gotten to him before his brothers could get to them

- he only noticed you were sitting up when he turned and tried to wrap and arm around you but couldn’t because you weren’t laying down

- he opened his eyes slowly and rubbed them as his vision focused on you 

- you were facing forward so he could only see half of your face but he could tell you were crying

- he put his elbows underneath him to prop him up to see you better and grabbed your arm which caused you to jump

- groggy, he asked you what was wrong

- you told him in few words that you had had a nightmare where he died and his eyes went wide 

- he sat up all the way and wrapped his arms around you, rocking you back and forth, giving you sloppy kisses on your cheek

- “I’m not going anywhere sugar” he promised and after a new minutes, it did help calm you down knowing he was right there and perfectly fine

[stevie-kd]

Whumptober 2020

Day 5: “Where Do You Think You’re Going?”

On the Run | Failed Escape | Rescue

::Some villains trap Kirishima and use him as a test dummy for a quirk-enhancing drug. They make a monstrous discovery...

••••••••••••

“Crap, crap, crap, crap!”

Kirishima’s head whipped around in every direction, but there was no escape. He was trapped, the only way out being the way he’d come, which was now blocked off by the gang of thugs he’d lured here.

Stupid, rookie mistake. He ran right into an alley while trying to lead the villains away from the crowded area, only to meet a dead end of tall brick walls. There was no hope in climbing over them, no way through.

At least there were no civilians around. No one to get hurt.

No heroes either, to his dismay. Normally he would’ve been fine in a situation like this, but he’d used up his quirk in a previous fight only minutes before he and Suneater ran into these guys.

“Uh oh, kid,” said the villain with an impossibly long neck. “Looks like you’re outnumbered. And if my eyes don’t deceive me, your quirk ain’t holdin’ up so well.”

Crap! What do I do? What do I do?? he thought frantically. He was up four to one, no sign of Fat Gum or Suneater coming to his rescue. These guys were huge, and there was no beating them in a fight without his quirk.

He was screwed.

One of the other villains, this one with flaming blue hair, laughed from his belly, “He looks like he’s about to wet himself!”

Okay, ouch. That only managed to piss Kirishima off, and he felt a new wave of adrenaline rush through him. He hardened his skin, but he knew it wouldn’t last long. He surged forward, planning to take these guys out as fast as possible.

It didn’t last more than a few punches. He felt one of the villain’s fists connect with his cheek, the force of it rattling through his brain. He fell back onto his rear end, scrambling to get away from another hit. A few more like that and he’d be out of commission.

The tallest of the men stepped forward, but the other with a wickedly long goatee stopped him with a hand to the chest. “C’mon, guys. Kid can’t even activate his quirk.”

The one with the long neck pulled a gun from his back pocket, and Kirishima’s heart nearly stopped beating. The man smiled wickedly. “How about we help him out?”

Huh?

“Oh, this is gonna be entertaining,” said the tall villain.

No one made any attempts to stop him as he aimed the gun for Kirishima and fired.

The bullet struck the hero-in-training on the shoulder. The pain was intense, but it wasn’t what he’d expected. It didn’t pass through like he’d imagined a bullet at nearly point blank range would, but instead lodged into his skin. He quickly reached up and yanked it out, finding a needle at the tip.

They’d injected him with something. Shit, they injected him with some foreign drug!

If he hadn’t been panicking before, he definitely was now. He remembered the time Suneater had been shot with a similar gun filled with quirk-dampening bullets. Could this be anything like that time? That wouldn’t make sense. Kirishima couldn’t use his quirk now as it was. This was something else.

He jumped to his feet, immediately woozy. The world started to shift around him unnaturally, warping and twisting and wrong wrong wrong.

He felt his skin go rigid as it hardened against his will. His entire body hardened and it didn’t stop. He felt himself go Unbreakable, go beyond that. His body was changing, expanding, growing until he stood a foot taller than any of the villains.

“Kid’s a total monster, dude,” said the man with flaming hair. His expression was twisted into a smile, impressed with their work. “This is gonna be the perfect distraction.”

Kirishima tried to speak, to ask what they’d done to him, but all that escaped his mouth was a series of harsh, cracked sounds. Even his tongue had hardened under the drug’s effects.

He tried to take a step forward, but he wasn’t accustomed to such a large, heavy body and it sent him right to the ground. The men all stepped back, laughing hysterically.

“Come on, guys,” said the man with the goatee. He was wiping a tear from his eye after laughing so hard. “We’d better get out of here before the cops show up.”

“Let’s go find a good spot to watch the show.”

“Man, I wonder if they’ll even recognize him.”

They all darted out of the alleyway, leaving Kirishima behind. He pushed himself back to his feet, taking an unsteady step forward, then another. He barreled out into the street, into daylight where people could see him, and all hell broke loose.

A woman screamed at the sight of him. A car swerved to avoid him as he stumbled around, dazed, confused and terrified. He cried out for help, but instead it sounded like a roar that ripped through his throat. Bystanders on the sidewalks fled in horror.

Kirishima continued up the street, searching desperately for Suneater. He’d recognize Red Riot, right?

Instead he found himself up against Kamui Woods. The hero swung in using his branches, dropping ten feet in front of Kirishima.

“You’re done terrorizing these civilians, villain!” the hero stated. “I suggest you back down now before things get ugly.”

Before things get ugly?!

Kirishima shook his head, hoping Woods would understand he wasn’t looking for a fight, but the action only resulted in disorienting the teenager more. His vision tunneled, his ears rang, and he toppled into a parked vehicle, crushing it.

Branches wrapped around his body, trapping his arms against him. They travelled down to secure his legs, and he fell onto his side heavily, cracking the cement ground.

“I’M NOT A VILLAIN! I’M NOT A VILLAIN!” he tried to tell him, but his voice just wasn’t his own. He truly sounded like a monster.

“Hey, calm down!” Kamui Woods was saying from somewhere off to his left. “We can’t understand you. Slow down. Use your words.”

Kirishima couldn’t breathe. He was panicking. What if he was stuck in this body forever?! He’d been turned into a monster and no one recognized him and he couldn’t speak and they thought he was a villain and he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight, couldn’t—

He effectively burst through the branches, freeing himself. Before Woods could trap him in another flurry of branches, Kirishima climbed to his feet and ran in the other direction. He needed to get away, find somewhere quiet where he could figure this out.

He barreled down the street, vision tunneling dangerously, looking for anywhere he could hide, any escape route he could take. There was nothing big enough for him to hide behind, nowhere without onlookers to give him away.

If he could just make it back to UA. It wasn’t far from here, only six blocks! He could make that, right?

He made it five blocks before Fat Gum appeared from around a street corner, blocking his route back to the school. “Hey, big guy! Where do ya think you’re goin’?”

“Fat Gum!” he cried. His voice came out a crackle of unintelligible sounds.

Suneater appeared beside him. “Stop, villain! Hey, wait—!”

Kirishima didn’t wait. He bolted past the two, neither trying to stop him much to his surprise. When he looked back at them, they were hot on his tail, probably having just overcome their temporary stupor.

Kirishima stumbled into the side of a building as he tried to round a corner, crumbling a hefty chunk of the brick wall. Crap, he was messing everything up! He was going to get arrested for destruction, let alone fleeing the scene and evading heroes!

He burst through UA’s gates, no alarms blaring because thankfully he remembered to grab his student pass! He was practically home free!

And there was Bakugou, Midoriya and a few others crossing the lawn not thirty yards away. They must have just finished the training they’d been working on together, trying out some new special moves. Bakugou was walking ahead while Midoriya chattered on about something behind him. Then the blond looked Kirishima’s way.

Kirishima froze. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t want his boyfriend to see him this way. He was a monster, and it’d hurt too much if Bakugou didn’t recognize him. He wanted to curl into a ball and hide.

Bakugou dropped his bag and started running at him. “Kirishima!” Bakugou called out. Kirishima panicked—didn’t know what to do—so he stood there, utterly frozen, and started to cry.

It was so unmanly, but he was scared to death he was going to be stuck as this monster the rest of his life. Bakugou wouldn’t want to be with some giant freak with sharp ridges for skin who couldn’t even say his own name.

“Red Riot!” called Fat Gum behind him. He didn’t turn to look, but he was sure Suneater was with him. Great, all the people he admired most were witnessing him a crying mess.

At least they knew it was him and didn’t think some monster had infiltrated the school again. Everyone circled him, the rest of the class joining Bakugou’s side, unsure what to do about their monstrous classmate in front of them.

“Kirishima…” Bakugou breathed. He stepped forward, approaching Kirishima slowly. “What the hell happened?”

Kirishima yelled, “Stop! Don’t come any closer!” but no one understood. They couldn’t understand. Even if he could speak properly, he was crying too hard to make sense.

Bakugou continued forward until he stood feet away from the hulking monster that was his boyfriend. “Shitty Hair...”

“Bakugou, don’t get any closer!” yelled Cementoss, who was just approaching the group. “He could be dangerous.”

“We don’t know his mental state,” Fat Gum backed the teacher up. “I know Red usually wouldn’t hurt a fly, but we don’t really know what we’re dealing with here.”

“It’s okay,” Bakugou said, not to the heroes but to his boyfriend, his best friend. He held an arm out, his fingers brushing the sharp, rigid skin. “I don’t know what happened, but it’ll be okay, Kirishima. Crying is manly too.”

Kirishima fell to his knees, an absolute mess of sobs. Even at this level, he was still taller than Bakugou, but that didn’t seem to bother the blond. He grabbed Kirishima’s massive hand and held it up, rubbing smooth circles against his palm, cutting his own soft hands against Kirishima’s hard edges.

“It’ll be okay, Ei,” he continued in the softest voice Kirishima had ever heard from him. “You’ll be fine. Promise.”

Then Kirishima felt it, like a spasm jerk through his body. His skin hurt and his brain went foggy and he felt so suddenly weightless. Bakugou got taller—no, he got smaller as he shrank back to his normal size.

His body felt like jelly and his legs wouldn’t support him, as light as he was versus moments ago. Bakugou had to catch him before he went crashing down.

He clung to Bakugou’s shirt, trying desperately to hold himself up, but he was just too weak after such an exhausting ordeal.

“Glad to have you back,” Bakugou smiled down at the boy in his arms.

Kirishima wanted to kiss him so bad, but he knew it wasn’t the right time or place. He could barely keep his eyes open as it was.

“Red! You’re okay?” Fat Gum asked from his other side. “What happened?”

“I-I’m fine,” he managed, voice gravelly and raw. His throat hurt, still felt like there was a marble lodged in it from crying so hard. “Those villains… they shot me… with some quirk-enhancing bullets.”

Cementoss and Fat Gum shared a look. The two pros would have to report this, and Kirishima would have to give a statement to the police.

After he got some rest. As his eyes drifted shut, he reminded himself to tell Bakugou how fucking lucky he was to have him as soon as he woke up.

••••••••••••

I hate this but I also love this ?? I had a lot of fun writing this but it’s weird and it could’ve been written a lot better if I didn’t rush so bad. I’m almost two days late! And I have yet to write today’s prompts and there’s only two hours left of the day! Grrrr !

I have days 6 & 7 already planned out, I just have to write em. I think they’ll be rather short fics, so I apologize now. It’s the only way I can catch up! Haha

Read previous day here

Read next day here

[chicago-reeed]

Detroit Evolution

So

These are some notes that I took while I watched DE for the first time. It’s a lot. Like, six pages, a lot. I decided I should probably spare everyone’s dashboards and put it under a cut.

Warning: overuse of the fuck word because I am a dramatic little shit who gets overwhelmed easily

- Alright here we go. I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared to go through this hhhhh

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY I NUT

- fuck he smellin the flowers good

- “hey tin can :P” “good morning gavin :P”

- I’m actually fucking crying IVE HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMES JUST TO BREATHE AND IM ONLY AT 1:25

- FUCK ITS 1:27 AND HES FIXING HIS COLLAR HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH THIS WHEN MY VISION IS BLURRY WITH TEARS

- “I don’t need to breathe” BAZINGA

- *slaps my face repeatedly* keep it together bitch

- “I like the way you look<3” aaaaaaaaannd here I go again

- HAHAHA HE WAS DAYDREAMING SAME NINES SAME

- oh god oh god witty banter WITTY BANTER I CANT FUNCTION

- C H R I S  IM SCREAMING

- detective motha fuckin chris I don’t need to see any more I got what I came for

- Honestly all they need to do to calm down the protestors is get nines out there so he can say “please stop you’re being very mean >:/“ and they would probably just go home ngl

- “I’ve never been intimidated by people who hate androids” OH MY GOD NINES WITH THE BAZINGA’S TODAY WHAT A LEGEND

- can I just say the white jacket is such a power move I can’t believe nines invented fashion

- Gavin bein soft and reaching back for Nines in the crowd🥺homygod

- Gavin “no one calls him plastic but ME” Reed

- The only time I will support police brutality™️

- Gavin is so OP we stan

- Nines “you raise a fist, then I get PISSED😡” RK900

- “y’all have a nice day” Protect Detective Chris Miller at all costs

- Nines sees Gavin’s scars as charming PUT ME TO DEATH

- ADA OH LORD SHES STUNNING IM SOBBING

- Okay I need to pause and breathe again the cinematography got me chokin

- Uh ooohhh someone is jeeaaalouus😛

- Nines really said “no worry fam I’ll airdrop the case files to u”

- Ada: *exists*

- me: I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

- HA GAV DEFINITELY JEALOUS RIP

- And nines back at it again with the sass I AM LIVING

- Chris and Gavin’s reactions to Nines imitating Ada is the best thing I’ve seen all year

- “I can do your voice too” HIS FACE IMDBDHDJKDJD CRYIGGGSBSN

- oh ;-; shit Michael really finna make me cri

- God damn the intro credits are so beautiful

- TINAAAAAAA BABYYYYY

- Real coffee hours with the sharktreuse mug🦈

- “our boy” SHIT IM CRYING AGAIN

- Tina knows Gavin was absolutely feral before Nines appeared at the DPD

- Half An Asshole squad please stand up we ride at dawn

- Gavin with the knockoff timbs WE STAN😎

- maybe “thank god, I hate you, you love me, move your feet, oop” will be our always

- I’m living for the whole “criminal minds” vibe goin on here

- Bruh Gavin got the hook-ups fr fr

- ❤️WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER WITTY BANTER W❤️

- The level of reed900 is staggering

- I’ve had to pause and breathe so many times it’s pathetic I’m not even 15 mins in

- GAVIN SAID mwah<3🖕IM FUCKING DIED

- 850% godt damn Nines got that IOS 50 update

- NINES PUT CHRIS’ PROMOTION PARTY IN THE CALENDAR WHAT A GOOD DAD

- maybe “our calendar” will be our always

- Chris “wingman of the year” Miller

- Who’s that Pokémon??? It’s JEALOUS GAV

- The way Nines said “I don’t feel anything for her.” I see you bud

- insecure Gavin needing reassurance™️

- Im fucking dying I fucking died bro BRO WE ALL KNOW WHO YOURE TALKING ABOUT, NINES, WE ALL KNOW

- Asexual Nines FTW👊😤👏👏👏❤️He gives zero fucks of ANY kind

- AN ANGEL HAS APPEARED WITH A GLOWY BLUE SCARF

- BREAKING NEWS: affection-starved Gavin™️ is literally begging for love

- GAVIN REED STOP BEING MEAN TO GAVIN REED OR ELSE

- “But there’s much more to admire about you than to detest, I think.”<333

- JJ not being suspicious at all nope no way Jose

- Lazzo has said two words and I love him already

- I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of COPS before🤔🤔🤔

- We all know Nines secretly wants to wear those fun glasses

- “Officer I swear I’ve never seen that arm in my life, it’s my friend’s he just asked me to hold it for him, Android arm what android arm heh”

- “Like robot arms, not gun arms.” You’re doing great sweetie🥰

- HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH HAND TOUCH H

- Chris “the interrogator” Miller😎

- THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

- soft n sleepy gav™️ is soft n sleepy

- FUCKING SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT IVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GAV IN A SLEEVELESS SWEATSHIRT FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT’S REAL IM

- You can wear my😋😘sweeaatshiiiirt😝😁🤗 (I’m sorry I had to)

- inconspicuous loving glances™️

- #GiveAndroidsFuckinHealthcare2K20

- AAAHHHHHHHH I CANTT BREAF

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- INCONSPICUOUS LOVING GLANCES™️

- Gavin has not slept in 80 years

- He really said “I’m fine” BITCH

- Bed time for brats™️ no later than 8:30pm

- hell yeah sleepover time

- “stop lookin at my insides n shit” I want that on a t shirt

- ANDROID DREAMS

- Nines is so soft I might die

- But he’s somehow equally suave as fuck how is this fair

- Oh my god dream!gavin is like Nines’ conscious this is so presh

- “What do you think Gavin was gonna say?” nsndJSKDOFIWKDBDNDNSJDBBDJDJDJDNDJXJNDIFUIFIEKWN HES STILL THINKING ABOUT THEIR CONVO

- dream!gavin you sly dog

- “To have this. Out there.” DONT FUCK WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT THIS INNER-MONOLOGUE FLUFF IS SO SWEET

- Nines being insecure™️

- Listen to dream!gavin, Nines, he has big brain

- The fact that Nines subconsciously KNOWS that irl!Gav “just wants someone that doesn’t hate him” but he’s STILL like alas, I can never be what gavin needs :’(

- nu babie don’t be sad🥺

- oh my god they’re both train wrecks protect them at all cost

- c r i p e s❤️the reed900 hurt/comfort we all needed

- FUCK

- Concerned boyfriends™️

- Maybe “I’m fine” will be our always

- GAV🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔💔💔💔

- Insecure boyfriends™️

- Nines “I’m not going to get any closer to Gavin because I can’t help him but also I want to cuddle with him because he had a nightmare” RK900

- did someone say  c a t

- dumb babie gav jus spoon the dumb android so you both feel better

- Me: *rubs evil hands together* aha here comes the angst

- cue tragic backstory

- oh

- tragic backstory indeed

- YES DAD!FOWLER WE LOVE

- Gavin is so desperate for anyone to care about him I’m crying tears

- SHIT IT’S CUDDLE TIME™️ NOW IM REALLY FUCKING CRYING

- Alexa this is so god damn sad play despacito

- YES

- HAND>HOLDING

- HEAD>ON>SHOULDER

- NINES’ SKIN RETRACTING WHERE THEIR HANDS ARE TOUCHING THIS IS LIKE EVERY REED900 STAN’S DREAM COME TRUE

- Oh shit it’s about to get domestic I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- YOU CAN WEAR MY😝💪SWEEAATSHIIIIIIRT🤪🔥🔥🔥 (I’m never letting the sleeveless sweatshirt thing go)

- Uh oh NO FUCK I’ve read enough fan fiction to know that this is where Gavin’s fucking trust issues kick in and he decides pushing nines away is safer than getting closer to him SHIT

- AND NINES GETS CONFUSED AND HURT

- AND THEN GAVIN GETS HURT

- I feel angst in this Chili’s tonight

- “I need you to leave” aaaaaaahhhhhhhh here come a whole different kind of tears

- frick dude that ouches

- Insert sad babie noises

- Oml the tension☠️poor Chris and Ada are like😑😑

- Chris could solve this case all by himself change my mind

- Gavin and Nines = (ò///-///ó)

- Chris = :D~oblivious~

- HELL YEAH PARTY TIME

- BEST WIVES TINA AND VALERIE AHHHH

- reed900 who??? I don’t know her. I only know ❤️valerina❤️

- I can’t believe Gavin and Nines invented angst

- I went and got blue gatorade just so I could pretend I was drinking thirium like Nines

- #DetectiveChen2K20

- real sad gavin hours

- Ruh roh Gavin bouta die from the ‘rona virus because rat man smokes hella

- CINEMATOGRAPHY CHEEEEECK HOLY SHIT

- my entire aesthetic in a single shot jfc

- Aaaaahhhh Nines trying to be a supportive bf just makes me ;-; [takes damage]

- HES ACCEPTED GAVIN AS MORE THAN A PARTNER🥺that, my friends, is what we call character development

- We stan the otp aggressively talking about their feelings

- “I’m not going anywhere.” FUCK™️

- SMOKE>FACE

- Aaaaand they’re back at square one. It’s cool it’s fine it’s all good we can work with this.

- Gavin: I don’t need you ò-ó

- Gavin: *immediately after Nines leaves* fuck ó-ò

- “It’s fine”™️

- I love Ada so much hhhhhh she said 🤨

- “Basic Instinct” TINA WITH THE HEAT OMG

- *nervous laugh* haha Ada sis maybe chill a little bit ha ha

- oh no I have a not good feeling

- ADA CHILL ADA CHILL

- WHY IS HE FOLLOWING HER INTO AN ALLEY AFTER THAT SKETCHY TALK

- AAA FUCK FUCK FUCJDJEMNSNDJDNXU FUCK I FUCKING KNEW IT FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK

- 😖x1000000

- Oh my god this is so fucking sad Alexa play The Sound of Silence

- Nines got fucked up and Gavin is CONCERNED

- aayyyyy bro Nines full on nakey

- Tina and Gavin sad bro huggin👊😔

- ADA HOW DARE YOU. HOW VERY DARE YOU.

- Uh oh Nines is fckn PISSED

- he MAD mad

- Tina speakin straight facts I love her

- WOOP GAVIN FINALLY ADMITTING HE NEEDS NINES

- f u c k  right in the heart

- I don’t want to attempt writing any notes at this moment because my thoughts are completely incoherent I am a MESS

- “I need you to come back, Nines.” DONT PLAY W ME LIKE THAT

- HAND HOLDING FTW

- Did Gavin really almost bring Nines back through the power of love I am SHAKING

- Dream!Gavin speaking truth as ALWAYS

- These damn flashbacks making me feel some type of way

- OH SHIT HE AWAKE

- that actually low key jump scared me

- God damn these sets are so fucking pro, I’m so happy

- REUNION

- Tina really say “Chris ;) ;) lets go get some ;) coffee ;) ;) ;) ;)”

- CHRIS’ REALIZATION FACE FUCKING LAID ME OUT I HAD TO PAUSE I WAS LAUGJINB SO HARD

- You Undead Asshole™️

- Gavin: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ ) fuck he actually heard me talk about my feelings n shit

- Nines: You literally told me you fucking needed me like five minutes ago

- Gavin: huh weird that doesn’t sound like me I actually hate you

- ooOOHHH  S H I T

- REALLY IS THIS REALLY HAPPENIGN

- woah shit sorry I blacked out for a second what happened

- MY POOR LITTLE FUCKING REED900 HEART IS EXPLODING AND IMPLODING AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME

- CAAAAAAAAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIIIGGHTT

- holy shit I actually gave myself a bloody fucking nose because I smacked my face too hard in excitement

- ❤️💘🧡💞💕💘💓💚💛💘💞💓💛💛💞💘❤️💚💘💜💕💖❤️❤️💕💓💗💘💖💚💝❤️

- FUCK

- “What dipshit programmed you to do that?” 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️FUCK

- My aunt came in and told me she heard me shouting then asked why I was crying

- HAHA FUCKING CHRIS IS MEEEE

- shit I need to like..,,,,physically recover from that

- whew okay break time is over let’s fucking go

- Nines in the cheeky turtleneck I SEE U

- #DETECTIVECHEN2K20

- Gavin: I’m ready to take this hoe DOWN

- Initiate protocol: SAVE ADA FROM HERSELF

- I could listen to Tina talk to dispatch for hours🥰❤️❤️❤️

- WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE TRENCH COAT WHITE T

- Gavin being hella concerned boyfriend™️

- FIGHT SCENE™️

- omfg that crowbar really went *CLANG* when it hit Ada’s steel fkn abs what a legend💪😎

- Hell yeah epic Nines gif moment

- no Ada don’t choke Gavin it only makes him stronger

- CHRIS THE MOTHER FUCKIN GOAT😎👏👏👏he really said “fuck ur monologue I’m here to get shit done”

- ADA QUEEN YOURE OKAY SWEETIE

- That character development godt damn

- I might be reaching but Gavin is now wearing a white/off-white shirt/gray that kINDA RESEMBLES DREAM!GAVIN’S SHIRT. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. THATS SYMBOLISM IF I EVER DID SEE IT.

- “buyer’s remorse, huh?”

- “I can’t be everything you need.”

- That awkward moment when you realize the person you were hiding your feelings from has also been hiding their feelings from you.

- “a year of that fuckin’...Ken Doll face smirkin’ at me every day” BE CUTER GAVIN, I DARE YOU.

- naked hand = love

- CHEEKY BASTARDS

- FUCK FUCK FUCK ME

- THAT WAS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL

- So my review of this film could be summed up by saying that I basically cried for an hour and fifteen minutes.

- Holy damn

[walker-journal]

Violet Vespers (POTW SOLO)

Summary: Adam goes to an old hangout to drink regrets away. A violet sky brings some old friends to visit. 

Note: The NPCs mentioned here may be ghosts from the POTW or hallucinations brought on by Adam’s unquiet mind and alcohol consumption. Adam is a highly unreliable narrator. 

NPCs: James (Human - Deceased) , Elias (Versipellis- Deceased), Iris (Siren-Deceased) , Benny (Redcap-Deceased)  

Content Warnings: Alcohal Abuse, Mental Instability, Possible Hallucinations, many allusions to violence, though there is none in the actual thread. 

“Give me my fucking hat!” 

Adam leaned back as Benny made another snatch at the stained baseball cap on his head, not knowing why he bothered to respond to a dead Fae who was just a figment of his alcohol-drenched imagination. 

But Adam had long since stopped wanting to think about things, about the future, about Winn. He’d just grabbed the strongest drinks he had and climbed an old water tower on the far side of town. Normally he’d call up some buddies for the usual high-rise drinking session, but honest Adam was too afraid of the dark thoughts rustling around in his head to trust himself around people who were breakable. 

He’d sat on top of the rusted metal towers and put back drink after drink as the hours deepened the sky into a never-ending void of violet. Unfamiliar stars looked down like curious stellar foreigners gawking at the motherfucking dumpster-fire going on below. Mist rose from the purple-refracting waves until there seemed to be no separation between the clouds and fog, extending together in a mistscape that made the water tower feel like an island in a sea of shifting grey. 

Many bottles in, some old friends stopped by to liven up the evening. 

Benny continued spastically rocking back and forth on the tower’s metal apex beside Adam, the Redcap lapsing back into an incomprehensible language that sounded like bone running over barbed wire. Ben looked to all appearances like a grade school boy who was a rabid Red Socks superfan. But Adam had seen ‘Benny’ could vivisect multiple police officers at once with nothing more than a Boy Scout knife and a smile. 

“Getting your hat back isn’t going to bring you back to life Benny,” pointed out a baritone voice over Adam’s right shoulder. The Hunter turned to see the brawny former teammate whose mediterranean handsomeness had drawn raised eyebrows even amongst those linebackers who assumed Elias was the gender of tree they liked to climb. But tonight the familiar silver dirk hilt-deep in Elias’ ribs proved more distracting then his fine-boned features. 

“God, Eli I …” 

Adam tore his thoughts from memories of searching for Elias after practice only to find a hulking lupine thing covered in split shreds of skin. Elias’ bisected face had still dangled in torn ribbons from the slick fur of the lycanthrope gaping maw as it gnawed on what was left of a referee under the bleachers. 

“Dude, you set me free,” Elias insisted quietly, the violaceous shadows from the setting sun casting deepening the chiseled bronze of his bare shoulders as they shrugged helplessly. “I was trapped in that thing.” 

Adam washed down the hard lump in his throat by taking another swig of something that burned all the way down. He’d wanted a cure for Elias, but his cursed teammate had posed too great a threat to everyone to delay grim necessity. “My friends deserve better than just a quick death.” 

The fog banks above them burst aside with the sound of wingbeats. A carnivorous angel  in leather descended toward Adam on the immense arched wings of an osprey. Adam knew she was just a hallucination...probably….but he swore he could have felt the breeze from Iris’ pinions and the landing impact of her clawed talons latching onto the water tower’s outer rim before they twisted into the shape of human feet. 

“What’s up bitches? You simps goin’ all teen soaps on the water tower? Very Dawson’s Creek, I dig it.” 

Iris moved with the brusque sensuality of someone for whom self-confidence was simply a state of being. Crowds had cheered for the Siren because that was just what prey did for a born predator. Iris had regarded them all imperious aloofness as if the stage were miles in the air and they mere scurrying rabbits running for cover. 

“He stole it! Stole my hat!” Benny clawed at his own bare head with frantic taloned fingers. 

“Well at least a fake fan didn’t shiv you with bronze backstage,” Iris sighed, running a hand familiarly through Adam’s hair as she settled down beside her killer, the black pits at the center of her yellow avian eyes widening in delight as Adam shivered convulsively at her touch. “Gimme a drink loverboy.” 

“You’re not real.” 

Hawk-like eyes rolled at this insistence before Iris simply wrenched the bottle from Adam’s hand. The rocker siren put down the high proof booze in just a few gulps that would’ve had a biker gang gasping for air. “What,” Iris demanded incredulously as she caught Adam’s flush-faced stare at the impossible. “Hey Huntard, do you...really...think you’re what ‘sane’ looks like?” Iris let out a derisive lilting laugh of birdsong at the notion. 

“Guess not,” Adam admitted as his world started to spin, the water tower seeming to turn like in his vision like a corroded carousel in the fog. 

More familiar figures showed up. A Lenan Sidhe girl he’d straggled in silence with a cold iron chain in a hushed library, a laughing Kelpe in the form a flirtatious cad with hair full of seaweed who reminisced about his and the Hunter’s last ride together, an overly curious Nogitsune whom Adam had killed within his own body, and so many more climbed the rickety water tower ladder to great their murderer as old friends. Soon Adam was laughing in welcome, red-faced and manic as faces from his nightmares joined in the revelry atop the water tower. 

But at last the guest honor showed, the face that’d been in Adam’s dreams every night since the sin that’d made made him just one more of these monsters. Calloused fingers closed over the final rung on the ladder as a guy in a shredded letterman jacket hefted himself on to the water tower’s roof. A familiar gentle blue gaze met Adam’s bloodshot eyes. 

“Heya James.” 

[theyearoftheking]

Book Thirty-Nine: The Green Mile

Hoooooly crap, y’all! This is the halfway point of this project: I’ve read thirty-nine books, and I have approximately thirty-nine more to go (depending what Steve releases before the end of the year). And honestly? If it wasn’t for COVID, and quarantine, and lots of time traveling (pre-COVID, of course); I wouldn’t have reached the halfway point. This probably would have turned into a two year project. But here we are, diving into The Green Mile!

Of all the Steve books, I dreaded re-reading The Green Mile the most. I had originally read it when it was first published, and it came out in chapters every few weeks. I’d breathlessly tear through a chapter, only to have to wait for the next one to be released. It was a pretty fun format, and I really wish I still had my original chapters. Oh well. 

But this time around, I didn’t think I was in the right head-space to read it, and the world sure as hell isn’t in the right head-space. The Green Mile was published in 1996, and takes place in 1932. It could very well have been set in our current climate. Just a few quotes for you...

“He got (his sentence) commuted mostly because he was white...”

“I think we have to be humane and generous to solve the race problem. But we have to remember that your negro will bite if he gets the chance, just like a mongrel dog will bite if he gets the chance and it crosses his mind to do so.” 

“John Coffey is a Negro, and in Trapingus County we’re awful particular about giving new trials to Negros...” 

NOTHING HAS FUCKING CHANGED SINCE 1932!! We are still hearing these same sentiments from people claiming, “I’m not a racist, but...” Our judicial system is still biased against POC, and the rate of incarceration for POC compared to whites is staggering. 

NOTHING HAS FUCKING CHANGED. And that’s the part that makes me the most sad. So, yeah, I wasn’t looking forward to cracking The Green Mile in our current climate. 

Few Steve books have touched me the way this one did. A fellow Constant Reader pointed out, “This is one of the only stories where he showcases the forces of good. We usually get ghosts and demons, but John Coffey may be the closest thing he has ever wrote of an angel...” Hot damn, Sam Beall, you’re not wrong. 

But in addition to forces of good, we’ve also got Percy Wetmore; who I feel is the nastiest Steve villain ever... he makes Randall Flagg and The Crimson King look like dudes who drink matcha lattes at a cat cafe, and compare notes on their polarized sunglasses. Percy Wetmore immediately activates my, “must kick hard in the junk” reflex. He. Is. The. Worst.

The Green Mile is told from the POV of Paul Edgecombe; a prison guard on “the green mile;” which is where convicted killers awaiting the death penalty are housed. “The green mile” refers to the long hallway inmates have to walk down to get to the electric chair.

 The story kicks off when John Coffey (like the drink but spelled different) is accused and found guilty of brutally raping and murdering two little blonde twin girls. He’s found on a riverbank, clutching their bodies, and crying, “I couldn’t help it, I tried to take it back, but it was too late...” 

So, Coffey makes his way onto The Mile, and shares space with Eduard Delacroix and his pet mouse Mr. Jingles; and William Wharton (Billy the Kid, or Wild Billy, depending on the day). Delacroix is French southern gentleman found guilty of murder, and then arson to hide the murder scene. He’s a bad guy... don’t get me wrong... but there’s something intensely likable about him. Maybe it’s the pet mouse he’s trained, maybe it’s his meek nature that Percy (another prison guard) takes advantage of... I don’t know. But you grow to like him, and the relationship he has with Mr. Jingles. Mr. Jingles randomly showed up one day, and the guards (except Percy) were all taken with him. After Percy attempts to smash him with a club, he takes to Delacroix and whispers in his ear that his name is Mr. Jingles. 

William Wharton is another story. He’s a wild card, who upon his arrival, promptly tries to strangle a prison guard. He also spits masticated Moon Pie at another guard. Sooo, he’s a lot of fun. 

The three of them live on the wing, and the first up for execution is Delacroix. Percy has a particular hatred of him, he claims he tried to grab his junk once. It didn’t happen... Del just got yanked along when he was in handcuffs and fell in Percy’s lap. The day before his execution, Percy thinks it might be fun to kill Mr. Jingles. Like I said... total fucking asshole. He stomps on him, and Del loses it. Mr. Jingles is the only thing he loves in the whole world... and maybe the only thing that loves him back. 

Thinking quickly, Coffey asks for Mr. Jingles little mousy body. Speaking of junk grabbing, he grabbed Paul and cured the UTI he had brewing for weeks. So, Paul is hopeful Coffey can use his miraculous healing abilities to do it again. And he does! Mr. Jingles lives!

But Percy’s not done being a scab on the balls of society. The night of Del’s execution, he tells him Mr. Jingles isn’t going to Mouseville like Paul promised he was (total lie- like telling kids a dog is going to live on a farm). And then, Percy doesn’t wet the sponge before placing it on Del’s head prior to his execution, so it’s horrible, painful and just horrible. So, Del is dead, Percy plays the, “I don’t know what happened!” card, and Mr. Jingles is gone. My heart. Of all the scenes in the book, I was dreading this one the most. 

Meanwhile, the prison warden, Hal Moores is struggling with the fact his wife Melinda has a massive brain tumor, and it’s starting to change her personality. He doesn’t know what to do. Paul thinks they should pack Coffey up, and take him out to the Moores’s house and have him heal Melinda. 

It’s a crazy idea, but it ends up working. The other prison guards drug Billy; and  put Percy in a straitjacket and throw him in the supply closet so he doesn’t notice anything is amiss. They tell him it’s payback for how Del’s death went down. So, they race out to see Hal and Melinda, and Coffey does his thing. They race back to the prison, and no one notices they’ve been gone. However, Coffey is in a bad way. This was much more healing than he’s used to doing, and he’s mentally and physically exhausted.

After they release Percy from the supply closet, Coffey grabs him and “kisses” him: which transfers the sick energy he got from Melinda into Percy. Percy then turns around, and shoots Wild Billy/Billy the Kid dead; and then becomes catatonic. 

He’s then carted off to the psych ward, which is too good for him. Fiery pits of hell would have been better. 

But wait!

Plot twist! Billy the Kid had briefly touched Coffey, and Coffey learned HE was the one who had killed the two little girls.  Paul puts this together as well, and tries to fight for Coffey’s release. He realizes Coffey’s words,  “I couldn’t help it, I tried to take it back, but it was too late...” were about his inability to heal the girls, not his guilt.

 When I had read the revelation the first time, I flew through the end, hoping and praying justice would be served, and Coffey wouldn’t be executed. Bad things didn’t happen to good people like John Coffey, right? Oh, how naive. There were A LOT of tears. 

But Coffey is at peace with his upcoming execution. He tells Paul, “I’m rightly tired of the pain I hear and feel, boss. I’m tired of bein on the road, lonely as a robin in the rain. Not ever havin no buddy to go on with or tell me where we’s comin from or goin to or why. I’m tired of people bein ugly to each other. It feels like pieces of glass in my head. I’m tired of all the times I’ve wanted to help and couldn’t. I’m tired of bein in the dark. Mostly it’s the pain. There’s too much...”

That right there makes me cry every damn time I read it. 

So, Coffey is executed, and life continues on; as it always seems to do. Paul is actually writing this story in his old age, at the  Georgia Pines nursing home. There’s an orderly there who’s just as evil as Percy, and he keeps trying to follow Paul on his daily walks outside. Where’s Paul going??? 

TO SEE MR. JINGLES!!! 

Yes! He’s still alive! It seems when Coffey healed people, it added onto their life expectancy. Mr. Jingles was still alive, and Paul was one hundred and four years old. But he knew his time was coming. He reflects on the loss of his beautiful wife, the people he knew on the Green Mile, the guards he worked with, and that mile seems LONG. 

Such a sad, beautiful end to an incredible work. This is another one I recommend to people who tell me they don’t like Stephen King. Try it... you’ll like it... when your heart is done breaking that is...

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 27

Total Dark Tower References: 38

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Needful Things: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Christine: D

The Tommyknockers: D-

Next is Desperation, which I know nothing about, other than it’s a real chonk of a book. 

Do me a favor, please? Stop being ugly to each other. Stop hurting gentle people like John Coffey. Please and thank you.

Until next time, Long Days & Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca

[crystalninjaphoenix]

The Day it Almost Ended

Septics Inverted

A JSE Fanfic

A little bit shorter than the other stories, but it’s a pretty simple one so eh. It started out as “what’s a normal day in this household like?” and then I threw the Pax Anti video in there because that needs an explanation in this AU. And, uh, yeah, that’s it. Stuff happens because of that

Read the intro story: Part One | Part Two

Various other AU-related stuff found here

Taglist: @evyptids​ @awkward-bullshit​ @watermelonsinmyattic​ @asunachinadoll @a-humble-narcissus @metautske​ @odysseus-is-best-boi​ @acuriousquail @beerecordings

Jack woke up with a pounding headache. For a moment, he tried to remember if there was a reason for that, but when he couldn’t come up with anything he gave up. Must just be a bad day. He groaned, and rolled over to look at the clock. It was nine-thirty. That meant it was time to get up. He sighed, then managed to pry himself away from his bed. He stumbled toward the dresser, grabbed some clothes, then considered taking a shower. He decided against it; he was too tired and the water would just wash out the color in his hair. After getting dressed he climbed down the stairs to the kitchen. And then he realized he could hear the shouting. Already? It was so early.

“Some of us have a personal life, unlike you, discount Punisher!”

“I have a personal life, bitch, I think the word you’re looking for is ‘limits,’ and in that case you’re the one lacking!”

“Well I’m fucking sorry that I want to do more with my life than jump around in spandex beating the shit out of criminals!”

“Do more with your life?! I’d say that—”

Jack walked into the kitchen, and everything immediately stopped. “Morning guys,” he yawned. “Glad to see we’re off to a fantastic start today.”

Nobody said anything. Jackie was standing by the toaster, glaring at Marvin, who was in turn standing behind the counter and glaring right back. Chase was sitting at the dining table, picking at his scrambled eggs. After an awkward silence, he looked up and said, “Hey Jack. Didja sleep well?”

“Yeah. I have a headache, though, so maybe I slept too long. Did someone make breakfast or is it a free-for-all?”

Chase pointed towards the fridge with his fork. “There’s still some leftover eggs from yesterday in there, but if you don’t want those you’re gonna have to fend for yourself.”

The toaster popped. Everyone jumped. The atmosphere in the room was way too tense for sudden noises. Jackie sighed, the plucked the two bagel halves out of the slots, then strolled over to the silverware drawer, grabbed a butter knife, grabbed some butter from the cupboard, and began applying said butter to the bagel. He did this all while not looking away from Marvin, who was standing still as a statue.

“You know what? I’m just gonna...grab some cereal.” Jack edged around the staring contest, quickly getting the box from the cupboard and some milk from the fridge before power-walking over to the table and sitting down next to Chase. “Where are the others?” he asked.

“Still asleep,” Chase explained.

“Yeah, I figured Schneep would be.” The doctor’s clinic was usually open all night, so his sleep schedule was pretty off. “But Jameson?”

“He was out late. You know that, uh...fuck I can’t remember what it’s called. The, like, police charity gala? He got an invitation and went.”

“Huh. Didn’t know he knew anyone in the police.”

“Apparently it’s a new thing.” Chase shrugged. He glanced over towards Jackie and Marvin. “Jesus, they’re still...hey, are you two losers goin’ to actually eat or are you too busy having a Mexican stand-off but with eyes?”

“Fuck off, Chase,” Marvin said automatically. “You know what? I have better things to do. See you guys later, unhopefully.” He turned and left.

“That’s not a word!” Jackie called after him, causing a flurry of purple sparks to shoot towards his head. He barely ducked in time.

“What is with you two?” Jack griped. “Why are you always about to tear each other’s throats out?”

Jackie sighed. “It’s just...he’s a dick, but he thinks I’m one.”

“Don’t worry about it, man.” Chase said. “It’s not like they’re out to murder each other or anything. It’s...well, maybe I should have done a personality assessment for potential roommates. They’re too different.” He shoved a bit of breakfast into his mouth before continuing. “Anyway, what were you planning on doing today? More recording, or do you want to go down to the shop with me?”

“Probably just the first thing.” Jack sighed. “But god, that’s gonna be hard with this headache.”

“You can do it, man! I believe you can power through it!”

“Thanks, dude.” Jack rubbed his head. “Guess I’ll have to, huh?”

“Yeah. But it’ll be okay. I promise.”

After a bit, Jack went back upstairs. Chase immediately turned to Jackie. “Dude, if you’re going to shout at Marvin, can you shout things that won’t clue Jack in?” he hissed.

“What? What did I say?”

“It was what you were about to say. You were like, ‘more out of life, I’ll say that’ and then you stopped when Jack came in and I just know if he hadn’t you were gonna end up mentioning Marvin’s...you know.”

“Oh, you mean murdering people and worse in the basement?!”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean!” Chase coughed, uncomfortable. “Look, I get it, Marvin’s...yeah...but Jack can’t find out! He’ll freak, and you know that! Plus, you’re giving Jameson extra work and he has a life outside of us. I don’t think it’s a good idea to piss him off when he could decide to leave at any time.”

Jackie thought about this, then sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. But if I have to listen to him brag about his ‘discoveries’ one more time...” He didn’t finish the threat, just clenched his fist like he was dramatically squashing a bug.

Chase rolled his eyes. “You don’t have this problem with Schneep,” he muttered.

“Th-that��that’s different! Henrik’s a doctor, we need him. And he’s all...well...y’know, so I can’t blame him. Plus, he doesn’t call me a no-good do-gooder under his breath every time he sees me.” Jackie took a bite out of his bagel. “I’m goin’ upstairs to check the web, text me if you need anything.”

Chase gave a little salute. “Will do, Mr. Boy Man.”

Jack took a break from recording around noon, coming back downstairs for a quick lunch before heading on to the next game. He passed Schneep and Jameson in the living room, the former curled up on a couch with headphones and his phone and the latter sitting in an armchair with a book. They weren’t talking, though for all he knew Jameson actually was but he was projecting to Schneep alone. Jack waved to them, but neither responded. That was okay. He made himself a quick sandwich/chips combo, ate fast, then went back upstairs.

“Jack! Wait a moment.”

Jack stopped where he was on the staircase, looking back down. “Yeah, doc?”

“You were not planning on going to the Pax this year, were you?”

“Uh...” Jack bit his lip, trying to remember. “No, I...I think I decided there was too much to do here, and travel was too hard.” He gripped the banister tightly. He was feeling dizzy all of a sudden, his vision going in spirals. “Anyway, why?”

“Well..” Schneep held his phone up for Jack to see. “...because there is now a video on your channel called ‘Pax Special Announcement/Surprise.’”

Jack felt his heart stop. “I...didn’t upload that. You don’t think...?”

“It is possible. I have not watched it yet. Do you want to join me?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’ll be good.” Jack climbed back down the stairs, settling on the couch next to Schneep, leaning over his shoulder to stare at the tiny screen of the phone.

The video started out...normal. Jack, or someone who looked like Jack, began by saying “Well hello there! Before we get right into this, I just want to come right out and say I won’t be going to Pax this year. I’m really sorry guys, but unfortunately life is...being a bitch right now...” A small giggle. “And I just can’t make it. There’s so much planning that you need to put into travelling, and I’m still sort of behind on videos from the time I was sick—”

“When was I sick?” Jack blurted out.

{Back in January.} Both Schneep and Jack startled at the mental interjection. They looked over to Jameson. {Don’t you remember? It was after that disturbing dream you had, right before Marvin strengthened the wards. You were bedridden for a week, it was horrible.}

“Oh. Yeah, uh, now I remember. Thanks, dude.”

The “Jack” onscreen was still talking. “—actually originally planned on going, and I filmed a speci-sp̵e͏ci̧a̕l̀ vide͏o͞ for you guys, to show there.” That glitch didn’t go unnoticed by Jack. “I figured it wouldn’t do anyone any good just sitting on my hard drive, so I might as well post it. But first, you guys have to do something. You know how much I love audience interaction, so what I need you to do is all take out your phones. Or, you know, your iPad, anything with a camera. I’ll just...wait a minute. This is—it’s kinda awkward, isn’t it? But you’re all ready now? Okay, so what you hav͟e͟ tó ̧d͢o iś—̢” The video was interrupted by a horrible, electronic breaking sound as the screen went black. But the visual came back, severely lowered in quality and lagging. “—place ̸yo̕ur̕ p̶h̡o̡ne̢ in͟ you̷r̕ ͝han̡d͝,̡ ̴an͝d̀ ͝j͏ust—” another glitch to black.

Jack glanced at Schneep, who only gave him a worried look. Then, the video returned, red and green pixels flashing across the screen, partially hiding images that...they looked familiar to Jack. Maybe he played games like that? But they seemed more real than anything. Then, black. Nothing except for a question, echoing. “A͡re you ̷th̢ere?” Jack found he was nodding. Why was he nodding?

And then he was there. His appearance was slightly different, more align with Jack’s than his own, most noticeable in the green hair and the lack of an eye-patch. But there was no mistaking the knife, or the bloody bandages around his neck. “Lo͢o̕k ͞a̵t you al͝l̴! ́J͏u͢st sittiņg͟ ͟t̴heŕe—y̷o̧u͝ t́ho̶u͢g̨ht it̵ wa͠s ov̶e̶r̛—no̶t͟ ̷w͝o̸rryi͏n͢g̨ a̵b̢o͝ùt ͞a͝ny̧t͏h̵i̵ng͝. Yòu a͝ll͞ t̢h͟ought I ̀wa̶s ̶gon͞e͡...̵b͢ut̡ I͏'͟ve b̨e̸e͡ń ḩere̴ this͡ ͏entire ̕t͡im͟e!͡ ̢Kee͏pi͢n̷g an��̶ e͏͖͖͉̗̞y͇̭̞͓̗̰͡è̫ ̮̥̜͖̞͕o̼̗̪̬̻̰̳̕n͖̥̫͍̫̝ ̤̣͟t͎hi͖̥̱n̡̻̞̭͉̲̱̖g̱̰̤̬̫̥ș̜. Yơu͢ s̀t̀opped̨ pa̡yi̵ng ̡a͢t̶te̡nti͟on!̕ We͡l̶l, I̧ ho͏pe yo͏u'ŕe̛ happ̸y. Ỳou ca̡n't͢ se͏e t́he͞ ̛s͠ig͞ǹs.̛ ̀Thręw m͢ȩ asidè! Did̶n't̴ r̡e̵ad͏ t͢he ͝warn͝i̸n̛gs.̸ I'm̨ ͞not g̷o̸ing̕—͠a̢n̷yw̢he̵r͝e̕!̷ ͡I̸'m̨ ͡alwa̢y͡s ͝the̶re, Aļ́w̨ą͠ys̶ Wa͠t̀͟c̵h͞͞in̴̡g.̀ They ca̶n̸'̛t͝ ̡get ri͢d ̧o͞f͞ m͟e.” One final cut, and...“E̕nj͏o̴y your ̴'v̀id̷e̢os͟.'̷” The words sounded bitter.

A few more seconds of dark silence, and then the video ended. Jack leaned back. “What...what does it mean?” he asked, a tremble in his voice.

“I think it is a warning.” Schneep turned off his phone. “To your viewers, saying he is still there, and to us, saying he can get inside the channel whenever he wants. He could make how many fake videos and ruin your life.”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Jack didn’t know where the words had come from. Yes, of course he would, he was a monster, he was a demon...and yet...he had the strangest, niggling feeling in the back of his mind.

{Jack, I think your eye friend wants your attention.}

“Wh—Sam!” Jack looked over to the tank in the corner of the room. They’d made it relatively recently, because he hadn’t really...trusted them with the secret of Sam’s existence. But he’d decided they were safe. So he told them. He couldn’t remember the actual moment he did so, but how else would they have found out about Sam?

Jack rushed over to the tank. Sam had been bonking on the lid, looking at him. “What is it, bud?” Sam wanted to see the video. “Well, Schneep can bring his phone over—” No, that wouldn’t work. He scared Sam. “C’mon, Sam, you gotta get over this.” Sam would not. They knew something was off, they didn’t like the way he looked at them. “Well, if you insist. Hang on, I’ll open the tank and you can come upstairs, I’ll show you on my computer.” Sam thought that was a good idea.

With a little effort, Jack pried the lid off the tank and Sam burst out in a spurt of green liquid. They immediately settled on Jack’s shoulder. “Comfortable?” They were. “Alright. Hang on, then.” Jack dashed upstairs. Jameson and Schneep watched him go in silence.

“How do they talk?” Schneep asked. “It has no mouth but Jack understands it just fine!”

{I’m...not quite sure, to be honest,} Jameson admitted. {If it’s a form of telepathy it’s not one I can detect. Jack just seems to know what Sam is feeling. They are definitely connected somehow.}

“Fascinating...” Schneep turned his phone back on, opening up the YouTube video again. “I think we will have to go over this with the others, yes?”

{Indeed.} Jameson stood up, then took Jack’s vacant spot on the couch. {I could feel a definite shift in Jack during that video. I believe Anti thought it would help jog his memory.}

“But how did he do this? How did he reach into Jack’s channel? And how did he change his appearance to match closer to Jack’s? Can he shift shape?”

{My good doctor, I think you need to calm down and focus on the more immediately problem. Jack cannot remember.}

“True, true...but someday I want to find the answers to these questions. And maybe I can answer my questions about Jack’s eye as well. Anyway, will you need to undo his mess?”

{Hmm...perhaps not. I’ll wait until the end of the day to see if there’s any lasting effect. But if there is...I think I may need to strengthen my approach, if one glitch’s video can break through it without too much difficulty.}

Jack was starting to get uneasy. After he showed Sam the video, he’d scrolled down through the comments, reading the viewers’ reactions. He thought he’d done something like this before...looking for the viewers freaking out in reaction to a video he posted. But when would that have happened? He was a gamer, he never uploaded anything this level of shocking. The closest it got was Halloween, but he’d been scared then because Anti was taking over...that...was how it went down, wasn’t it? He just couldn’t shake the feeling of the glitch over his shoulder, but not...in a hostile way...

Most of the comments were very typical. Along the lines of  “Aaaaaaah oh my god Anti is here!!! Aaaaaaa!!!” But there were a couple theories, comparing this sudden dropped video to the Halloween one, which had been built up.

Well, if he was looking for theories, he needed to be on a different website. On a whim, he switched over and searched up the jacksepticeye tab, scrolling through the results. Lots more of the “Ohmigodanti” reactions. He kept refreshing the search, looking for new...yeah, he definitely remembered doing this before. Only now there was Sam with him, instead of...but that wasn’t possible.

Then, he came across a post. Just a single question: “Does anyone else think that Anti isn’t, well, particularly evil?” Reading that, Jack felt...he didn’t know how he felt. Like he’d just remembered something, but there was nothing there. Most of the responses to the post were like “He possessed Jack and slit his throat, how is that not evil?” and that seemed the rational response...it was, wasn’t it? 

Boop. The sound of his text alert startled Jack out of his...whatever this was. He picked up his phone from where he’d dropped it on his desk and read the text from Chase: Dude, are you coming down for dinner or what?

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered to himself. “Sam, you ready to go back in the tank or do you want to hang around a bit more? I...miss hanging out with you. We don’t do it as much.” Sam missed it too, but they wanted to return to the tank. It was safe, and they didn’t think his friends were. “They’re fine, Sam. If they wanted to, like, murder me they would have done it by now.” Sam was worried about him. “...thanks, bud. I appreciate it, but everything is okay.” Sam wasn’t sure about that, but if Jack insisted.

Dinner was the only time when everyone was home and awake to eat at the same time, so it was usually an event. Jackie or Jameson usually cooked, and they all sat at the table and made (sometimes awkward) conversation. There wasn’t really a defined seating arrangement, but they all sort of fell into the same pattern. Jackie and Marvin sat as far away as possible from each other, Jack usually sat next to Chase, or sometimes Jameson or Jackie, Schneep usually sat near Jackie or occasionally Chase, and Jameson sat near Marvin. There were only so many ways to sit with those requirements.

It was spaghetti night, because neither Jackie nor Jameson felt like cooking and spaghetti was easy. Jack was hungry, but he couldn’t bring himself to do more than pick at the noodles. He had too many thoughts, and they all contradicted each other.

“You okay, Jack?” Jackie asked.

“Uh...yeah, I’m just...thinking.”

“About what?”

“Well...I don’t know.” Jack dropped the fork. “You all saw that video on the channel today?”

Everyone nodded. “Are you going to delete it?” Chase asked.

“Maybe. But...after watching it, I feel...” Jack put his head in his hands. “I feel...like I’m forgetting something. Or that something is wrong. And I keep thinking about Anti, and I think I have weird memories...and Sam is worried about me...”

“Okay, that’s cool.” Marvin didn’t seem to be paying attention. He kept glancing toward Jameson.

“Maybe your headache is just playing tricks on your brain, Jack!” Schneep suggested. “That is a thing that can happen if it is bad enough.”

“Really?” Jack was skeptical. He would know about that, wouldn’t he?

“I think you need to get your mind off things,” Marvin said. “Hey, Jameson and I are working on something, and we need a third person. You wanna help?”

“I...literally don’t know anything about magic.”

“Well, that’s okay. We just need you to observe what happens, take notes, tell us if you feel anything, like, psychically. Not too hard.”

“I don’t...” Jack paused. It wouldn’t hurt to help them out, would it? {No, it wouldn’t.} And it could help him forget this whole mess of a day...{it seemed like a good idea.} “Alright, if you insist. After dinner.”

And indeed, after they’d all finished Jack followed Marvin and Jameson down into the basement. The other three, stuck cleaning up, exchanged looks.

“You don’t think...this will have any side effects, do you?” Chase asked.

“I hope not,” Jackie muttered.

“What kind of side effects?” Schneep asked.

“I don’t know! Just!” Chase glared in the general direction of the basement door. “That’s my friend! And I don’t know if this new thing will work. Doesn’t it seem kind of risky to have two people doing the spell at the same time? Like, they’d distract each other?”

“I think it will be fine,” Schneep said dismissively. “Jameson is knowledgeable, and Marvin is very skilled. They will be fine together.”

“Well...I guess this is our best option,” Jackie said reluctantly. “Still never liked this whole...thing, but...”

“It will be fine.” Schneep’s voice left no room for argument. “You will see.”

Jack woke up with purple at the edges of his vision. It faded away. He wondered why that was, and then he forgot what he was wondering about. He felt great.

To his surprise, when he came downstairs to get something to eat before starting the day, everyone was awake. That was something he’d only seen maybe twice since joining the household. Schneep, Jameson, and Marvin were all in the living room, and Chase and Jackie were sitting at the table eating in the kitchen/dining room. “Is there an event or something?” he asked. “Why is everyone awake? Did all our sleep schedules just align?”

“Oh hi Jack!” Chase said. “You feeling alright?”

“Yeah, actually. Pretty good! I might do some VR games today, full of that energy.”

“Nice, dude. Here, I got you some toast.”

“Aw, thanks.” As he sat at the table, munching, he felt...like he was forgetting something. “Hey, uh, what day is it?”

“Friday,” Marvin called from the living room.

“Uh, actually I meant date. I think my phone’s off.”

“It’s the tenth of March,” Jackie said. “Why?”

“I just felt like there was...something I was supposed to be doing. But I think it must be because I’m not at Pax this year. I had my panel scheduled for today until I had to cancel it.”

Chase shrugged. “Well, unfortunately travel difficulties don’t just go away.”

“Yeah.” Jack finished off the toast. “I’m goin’ back up now. You guys know where to find me.” He disappeared up the stairs.

Everyone left collectively relaxed. “Either he is a better actor than he thought, or he really does not remember what happened the day before yesterday.” Schneep breathed a sigh or relief.

“And...you’re sure I’ll never have to do that again?” Marvin asked, turning to Jameson. “I have more important stuff to do with my day.”

{Relax, Marvin.} Jameson waved away his concern. {Now that the spell’s set in motion, it can run on its own energy. It just needs to be kicked into gear every week or so, and that is something I can do on my own.}

“Alright. Okay. Good, we’re all good.” Chase laughed nervously. “God, that was close. We almost lost him.”

Across the city, a screen was smashed. Then the smasher immediately regretted it. That security monitor was an important window into what the hell was going on in that house, he really needed to stop this.

Anti forced himself to breathe, the strange, steadying motion bringing him back down to earth. It was okay. He’d just adapt. First, he’d see if he could still reach Jack through the combination of the house’s wards and the mind spell, whichever spell it may be. Then, he’d get a new screen. Then, he’d figure out what, exactly, this new and improved method was. It was fine. It was fine. He just had to try again. Some of the keener fans were starting to catch on, though they still thought this was all a game. So that was a helpful thing that came out of this.

But still, it stung knowing he’d almost had him back.

[depressedgamerxx-blog]

Coffee and Mental breakdowns

Summary: It's 3 am and Scout is not have a good night, he's comforted by someone unexpected.

An: Hey guys! I thought it was about time I wrote something with Medic cuz I love him. This fic is also sorta like a stress reliever, in other words I'm projecting my own self experiences on poor Scout lol.

Words:1630 

Scout stared into the dark waves he created by stirring his spoon in his cup of coffee, watching as he created dark swirls with the bitter liquid.

A few drops splashed out onto the table, but Scout didn't pay them any mind. He would clean them up later. After a few more moments of his rhythmic stirring he reluctantly brought the cup up to his lips.

He always hated the taste of Coffee, it was always so bitter and it didn't matter how much sugar or cream he added.

He sipped the coffee and swallowed it with a grimace, for now he would just have to deal with the bitter taste. He didn't have anymore energy drinks so coffee was the only thing keeping him from passing out.

And he was certain that falling back to sleep was not what he wanted to do.

He rubbed his tired eyes, glancing at the clock on the microwave. 3 am flashed on the clock, creating a sort gentle glow of light, just enough to give Scout some sort of light source.

3 o'clock in the morning, In about 3 or 4 hours from now he would most likely be joined by Engineer or Sniper, and later the rest of the team.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. His normal uniform was replaced by his sleeping wear, which consisted of an over sized Red Sox baseball jersey and black basketball shorts. The only thing that remained were his wraps which he almost always kept on.

Always.

He rested his head atop his folded arms; blue-grey eyes wandered around the kitchen. A place he knew as well as the back of his hands having spent many breakfasts and meetings in the room.

He felt his eyes begin to sleep close and he sat up with a jerk, quickly reaching for his cup he downed the rest of the bitter coffee. Nearly choking on the bitter taste as it burned the back of his throat on the way down.

He sat the cup down on the table and wiped his mouth with the back of his bandaged hands. He knew he should be asleep, he knew it wasn't good for him to force himself to stay awake but he couldn't help it.

It didn't matter if he drank warm milk, it didn't matter how many sheep he counted. Every time he closed his eyes he wasn't met with the bliss relief of sleep. He was left with nothing but his own thoughts, his insecurities. And he hated it.

this wasn't the first time his thoughts had kept him awake, sometimes they would keep him awake for days on end. On those days he would give in on his exhaustion and ask Medic for something to help him sleep.

Scout didn't understand why this happened, but it was like a routine.

Some days he could look in the mirror and see this super cool guy who could do it all, but some days when he looked in the mirror, all he was was someone who just...wasn't good enough.

That, no matter what he did none of it would matter in the end. He was gonna die eventually, so what was the point of even trying? It was routine, fighting, dying, respawn, repeat. Eventually he just ended up feeling numb.

And on those days, he had to fake it. All of his stupid jokes and cocky attitude, his confidence. He had to fake all of it, and it always made him feel gross. Like he was lying to everyone, like he was just a big faker.

He blinked a few times to clear his vision which had blurred just a bit, and he considered getting another cup of coffee; but his stomach seemed to twist at the thought and he decided against it. Not wanting to make himself sick.

Instead he began to pick at his bandages, an old habit of his. He probably shouldn't do it because it messed up his wraps, but it distracted him.

Plus it was better than him picking at his skin.

He pulled a small string, causing the end of the bandage to unravel and fray. He sighed, now he'd probably have to get some new ones. Great.

"Having fun sitting alone in ze dark?"

Scout jumped a very un manly squeak sounded from his throat as he whipped around in his chair in surprise , nearly tumbling out of it.

Medic stood in the doorway of the kitchen, somewhat illuminated by the light of the microwave. He gave Scout a somewhat sheepish smile.

"Apologies! I didn't mean to scare you"

Scout relaxed slightly when he saw who it was, he let out an annoyed huff. Mainly embarrassed that the older man had snuck up on him.

"Geez dude gonna give me a fricken heart attack, how long 'ave ya been standin there anyway?"

Medic shrugged " Not to long, just long enough to watch you as you sit alone in ze dark"

In a few long strides he sat himself in a chair in front of the younger, resting his chin on his hand.

"So please do tell me vhat bothers you"

Scout blinked in surprise, slightly a taken back by the Doctor's sudden interest in his well-being "

"Wha...What da hell makes ya think sumthins wrong wit me?"

Medic rose a brow "Vell, for starters it iz three in ze morning and you are drinking coffee. Plus your expression isn't exactly cheerful"

Scout sputtered slightly, narrowing his eyes.

"Y-Yeah, well you're up too aren't ya?"

Medic shrugged "Vell yes, but I waz finishing up some vork. And I vaz heading to bed, you however look like you plan to spend ze rest of ze night here. So please.."

He leaned forward slightly " Tell me, vhat bothers you? "

Scout scowled at him, before he sighed. Shoulders slumping in defeat, he mentally cursed the older man and his ability to read people so well.

"It's..It's just...nothing...really, I'm just....being stupid"

He gave an awkward chuckle, squirming in his seat under the doctors gaze.

He swallowed thickly.

"I..just uh...I've just been havin a rough night ya know?"

Medic gave a sympathetic hum " And vhy iz zhat? "

Scout shrugged, looking down at this bandaged hands. Clenching and unclenching them into fists.

"Hey, you uh..remember awhile ago when ya found those..things under my wraps?"

The doctor's eyes widened slightly in surprise, sitting upright his gaze turned serious.

"Vhy...Yes Scout..I do"

Scout glanced up to meet the doctors gaze almost shyly.

"And uh..remember how ya told me that I could always talk ta ya it I needed too..?"

Medics gaze softened as he smiled at the younger man sitting across from him, placing a hand over the others smaller bandaged one.

"Of course Scout, you can tell me anything."

"And you promise won't tell anyone nuthin?"

"I promise"

Scout took a deep shaky breath.

"I..I don't know man, it's just been one of those night ya know? I just couldn't sleep and every time I tried my mind just kept sending all these negative thoughts to my brain man"

"What kind of thought Scout?" Medic inquired gently .

Scout half heartedly shrugged his shoulders, he hated talking about this stuff. Or more so that he was terrible at expression his thoughts and shit.

"I don't know, like just bad thoughts ya know? Like how I'm not good enough or how I'm gonna die alone a-and how everything gonna leave and shit and how I'm nothin but an annoyin brat and..and"

Scouts rambling was cut off by his voice cracking, struggling to swallow last the lump that was steadily growing in his throat he choked back a sob. He brought a fist up to his mouth and bite on it, turning away.

Fuck Fuck Fuck, why the fuck was he crying for? He wasn't some little kid! Yet here he was gettin all emotional shit, in front of fuckin Medic of all people.

"I-Im sorry Man, I just -" his breath hitched as more tears sprang to his eyes, threatening to spill over.

Suddenly next thing he knew he found his face being pressed in the familiar white lab coat as Medic, who had made his way to Scouts side of the table while he had been speaking, wrapped his arms around the runners smaller body. Gently pressing the boys face into his shoulder.

"Shhh, it's alright Klein. Go ahead and cry, it vill be good for you. You'll feel better afterwards."

Scout choked out a sob, clutching at the man's shirt he buried his face in his shoulder. His own shoulders shaking as he sobbed. Medic gently rubbed the boys back.

"Shhh Shhh easy Das Kind, I am here " Medic cooed softly.

"I-It just fuckin hurts man! A-And I'm just so fuckin tired"

" I know kleiner hase I know"

Medic continued to coo softly in both English and German while Scout continued to cry into his shoulder. After awhile Scout pulled away sniffing and rubbing his now red eyes. Face flushed slightly from embarrassment.

He rubbed the back of his neck "T-Thanks man" he mumbled.

Medic smiled at him, gently patting his cheek.

"See! I told you, you would feel better "

Scout laughed slightly "Heh, yeah...sorry bout messin up your shirt"

He stood, saving the younger man off.

"It's nothing, it's just a shirt after all"

Pulling the younger to stand he began pushing him gently towards the door.

"Now! Time for bed, might as Well gets some sleep vhile you can"

Scout rolled his eyes "Alright Alright Ma, I'm freakin goin"

He made his way to leave but paused in the doorway.

"Hey uh, goodnight Doc"

Medic smiled at him .

"Goodnight Scout"

[decimusquartus]

Thanos the Rad Titan - Blast IT, not THEM! (Chapter 10)

Chapter 1 or  ( Part One )    Chapter 2 or   (Part Two) Chapter 3  or (Part Three) Chapter 4 or (Part Four)   Chapter 5 or here

Chapter 6 or here Chapter 7 or here  Chapter 8 or here

Chapter 9 or here

That’s me (and also here)

So, we’re at the starting line. There’s so much tension coming, going and colliding,  feels like there’s going to be the birth of one new universe. Or we’re all just going to implode, dragged by our very own charged emotional baggage and high stakes.

Thanos keeps tinkering with the thrusters and booster engines. I'm feeding off the noise.

‘You think we can outrun this guy? ‘Cause to me, he’s the type of guy who’s fast enough to make parcels look like time units.’

‘Whelp, if I were you, I would let me think and charge these thrusters to maximum capacity. All you need to worry about is keeping me on board, because if we lose, I shall grand your head to my parasites as their new toy.’

‘Wow, aren’t you motivational,’ I grovel, doing lunges and stretches. I practice some manoeuvres with my own board and then I hear Thanos’s begrudging roar of impatience.

‘Let’s race!’

‘This one will be remembered,’ Silver Surfer says, crouching and looking bullet-like.  

‘You got that right,’ I growl, getting on Thanos’s board once more. I take a deep breath and try to get into some kind of racing mentality. ‘It’s now or never. Let’s just rev up, pump up and blast this.’

I try doing some meaningful breathing, hoping to purge myself of stress and extra tension but it’s no good. I’m hooked on the board.

Navvir says he’ll shoot a flare and when it dies out, we’re off.

The Silver Surfer fires his shot and it travels brilliantly around the planet. It keeps going until it’s no more, its energy spent.

Just like that we’re off.

I guess from behind we must be rockin' the whole flare look, like Navvir’s flare, ‘cause damnit we are blazin’ fast. I fashion my telekinetic control to be thin and webbed tightly all over the board.

‘Come on,’ I growl as Space Kahuna takes the lead. The more I push, the more it grows on me: an emotion of burning up, like there are wicks coming out of each one of my pores and slowly, painstakingly, they catching fire.

I keep my head down and try to maintain stability and smoothness. Even though I’m used to sudden speed bursts and the device Thanos had given me is fruitful protection, after that second burst, I’m experiencing this whole thing of skin peeling-off.

‘First turn. Hold on, Titan,’ I growl through gritting teeth as I sharply force that turn. We cut Silver and take the lead. Adrenaline’s blasting all the way up to my ears.

‘If the next corner is as sharp as this, we’ll chop that planet’s moon in half,’ Thanos says and I shoot him a feeling glance.

He’s actually leaning, looking hungry and be on the pray for the victory.

‘You’re enjoyin’ this, ain’t you?’ I grovel, pushing me and the board some more. His cape is flapping, highlighting him with a slow-motion finale, as its tips pierced the gravity/atmosphere bubble. I stretch my head forward, in my mind looking like that figurehead of a ship.

Silver dashes to our side, leaving one continuous trail of nigh-endless energy. Thanos roars and I fell the whole board shaking and rippling as we go in another speed blast.

‘Second turn. Here we go.’

Sure, Thanos would kill me but his? Right there? The worlds are hurried blurs that I wouldn’t see but still, in my head it’s kind of encouragement to keep going.

‘One more planet and the asteroid field till we taste victory,’ Thanos howls with some timbre blooming in his voice, which I could identify as joy.

'Sure, no stress,' I growled, kissing my teeth.

My heart keeps pushing itself and I’m pretty sure that my pupils are dilating to limits never reached before. My body’s getting that feeling like an eyeball that hasn’t blinked for a long time. Tenderness is slowly growing to rawness and then in a piercing physical pain, as I snarl to push some more for an extra thrust, with Thanos blasting plasma fire from his fist, for even more speed.

After the second turn, we are leading. My hair get a gradual feeling of sparks are shooting out of it. When Silver reaches us, once again I take a breath long enough to be a world’s atmosphere. I force the board to one great side-glide and push us more.

I don’t want to glance at my own hands. Even through the soft fabric of my hoodie’s sleeves I can see the veins throbbing and convulsing. My nails have rocketing sensation to their end, like they are about to shoot off. Whatever is coursing through me isn’t really blood any more. It boils and churns like lava, trying to break free and cover me in it. But then its searing undefinable energy erupts, instantaneous combustion, with an unstoppable flow to it. Like there’s nothing more than telekinetic energy left in me.

I scream as we are closing in the asteroid field. Silver Surfer and Polka-dress are right by our side.  I can barely afford turning but I am seeing that I’m giving Surfer a run for his power.

‘This is it, Thanos. You game?’

‘Are you talking to me, Thanos, or to yourself?’ the speeding juggernaut behind me muses.

It’s the big final push. I give everything I have. Energy bursts all over my face, hands and toes. That´s all. I experience what feels like a star dying right in my very heart. I’m going nova. Superkinetic mind you, but nova nonetheless.

Yeah when I wake up my senses are raw, painful and searing me worse than my worse leg day so far, matched with some broken bones from skating.

‘What’s happenin’?’ I stammer as my vision keeps adjusting into that big blue blur right in front of me.

‘Earth. Is this Earth? Where am I?’

I’m hungry. I mean in space, everyone can hear my stomach-rumbles.

‘We’re on your Moon.’

Thanos’s voice brings some painful memories back. I shiver, thinking that eruption from before.

‘Did we win?’

‘No.’ Thanos scoffs. ‘You passed out, destroying half of the asteroid field.’

‘Cool. Smashin’ stuff in space with my mindpower. This is goin’ into m CV and personal statement, by the way.’

‘Dawn, the Silver Surfer’s human, took some pictures with your phone. To remember this.’ He tosses me my phone.

I grab it and go through them, seeing them having fun and me passed out.

‘Hold up! How did you get the password to my phone?’

‘Telepathy,’ he replies tapping his skull and I’ve never felt more terrified. ‘There is something I need to tell you, whelp.’

‘Yeah?’

‘I shall not kill you.’

Yeah, I’d be really excited about this, but I have a migraine the size of Hulk’s biceps and I am calling it a day.

‘Cool. Care to tell me why?’ I ask and go hopping around on some low-gravity moon dust.

‘Because you have shown me the potential to maybe beat the same name as the Mad Titan.’

‘I’m tellin’ you dude. You should change it to the Rad Titan. You raced the Silver Surfer on a board. If that’s not rad then I don’t know what is.’ I approach him and see him standing up.

‘Thanos the Lesser Titan, I shall tell you that you have the powers, that you are on the right pathway of thinking and you are trying to learn more for these humanity sciences.’ Thanos comes up to me and instructs me carefully, like he’s bequeathing wisdom or something.

‘Well, creative writing is my dream. Also, I know it sounds weird, but do you mind bein’ a reference for my Master’s application?’

‘You want me to be your reference?’ Thanos tilts his head, casting his gaze on Earth.

‘You can monitor my education. But I’m really heavy on developing homicidal and annihilating tendencies or feelings in the future.’

‘Puh!’ Thanos scoffs. ‘You’ll get around. You’re a Thanos.’

‘The Lesser Titan, mind you. So, you’ll be droppin’ me home?’

‘Sure. But you cannot keep the board. And if you tell anyone what happened, I shall destroy you.’ He doesn’t need to gimme a show of potential death that he’ll rain down on me.

‘Come on. I matched you in battle. This has to go in my CV.’

‘And if they don’t accept you, I’m coming down on Earth.’

‘Ah, that’s actually sweet. And awfully alarming. I will mention it to them though.’ I shrug. I manage a smile before the teleportation bring me at my flat’s balcony.

I look around and just embrace that warmth down to my beaten bones and skin full of welts.

‘Alright. Wi-fi. Post pictures. Sleep of some days. Then maybe go skateboarding.’

I actually hover my loser, beaten-across-some-galaxy-ass to my bed and sleep.

Thanos the Mad Titan (or Rad Titan to me) wasn’t that bad. Take the word of Thanos, the Lesser Titan for it.