#like i understand maybe its plot related like hes not meant to be in hell so he doesnt have a personalized torture chamber but still. STILL

[montypng]

watched dead boy detectives recently and the show has been simmering in my brain in the most frustrating way. like its not bad its not a bad show. but for all the elements where i was like YES!! YES!!! i also thought i could have done this better. AUUGHH!!!!!!! AUGHH

[bobbydagen24]

I've said it before, and I'll say again and keep saying it until the fandom finally acknowledges this glaring plot hole. If Poppy didn't remember Viva, Branch shouldn't have remembered BroZone. he was a baby. It was said over and over again that he was a baby. I don't care if Poppy was implied to be younger than Branch was when their respective siblings disappeared, THEY WERE BOTH BABIES!!!

And I've seen the whole "we they're trolls and they work differently, just look at Tiny Diamond" argument, and I'll tell you why this doesn't have much merit. TD is a Glitter Troll, and it seems that Glitter Trolls have different biologies and customs than your average Pop Troll. Tiny came out of his egg singing and dancing, with full comprehension of the world around him. Branch in the flashback acted like a naive little kid/a literal baby, and Poppy also acted like an infant when they were shown as babies. And as you can tell, neither are Glitter Trolls. So I firmly believe that Branch could not have possibly remembered BZ as he did in the movies, and they would either be a blur or completely forgotten. The only way he could have possibly remembered is if he had a photographic memory of some kind, because otherwise, it would make no sense for him to remember BZ. Honestly, it was kind of cruel od DreamWorks to have Branch remember losing his brothers and have Poppy not remember losing her sister, and really shows how much they love to traumatize and bully Branch.

What are your thoughts on this?

I feel it is meant to be as simple as Branch being an older baby due to just overall being Bigger than Poppy was and capable of slightly more cohesive speech.

not to mention his adorable Big Head 😭😭😭😭 and like you said Tiny I think is meant to be an exception either due to being a glitter Troll or just due to being a Rare instance of a Baby coming out the Egg already capable of talking and walking and even driving.

like I agree it is somewhat cruel by the writers having Branch Remember his Brothers while Poppy forgot about Viva and got to live in Blissful ignorance for all these years.

if anything her remembering her sister and like her dad thinking she'd died in the escape could have maybe been a neat little bit of background for Poppy's character imo.

what I mean is if beneath her overly posotive demeanour she'd actually had a bit of past damage herself that she preferred to forget actually giving her and Branch something more to relate over.

Hell if this had been the case it'd actually make her earlier attitude towards Branch's negative feelings towards his Brothers more understandable and forgivable.

since she'd have for all she'd known lost a sibling forever hence why she'd be convinced that there wasn't a problem too big that Branch couldn't fix with his brothers to have another chance with them.

that'd make her reasons more understandable imo than simply her being suddenly insecure over growing up a happy single child with a supportive parent.

and thus blatantly ignoring justified grievances from Branch even tho before the wedding she was the one trying to get him to open up to her about his negative feelings of upset.

but hey that's the writers for you they can be cruel when it comes to Branch here's Hoping they don't add anything else to his backstory in the future.

like maybe his parents died on his Birthday when he was a baby or maybe after his Grandma died he was placed in a Troll foster home and was abused their for years before finally going off on his own to build his Bunker.

I swear its a good thing these films are meant for kids otherwise who knows what sort of messed up stuff they'd write into his backstory next 😅😅😅😅 they gotta give that Angst to someone else next like Bro zone or Poppy or maybe even Bridget or Gristle just anyone who isn't Branch.

[kitcat992]

AhhhhhhhhHHHHHh, can I nerd gush about this story? I love to nerd gush about this story 😭

Identity Within, Chapter 7: Something Tried and True

“But Pep, she’s…she’s always been there for me,” Tony admitted, honestly. “Always. Once I knew, I…I just knew.”

It was Peter’s turn to nod, and he did it twice as much as Tony before him — a feat, all things considered. So rapid and shaky that it was a surprise his head didn’t roll right off his shoulders.

Despite his eagerness, Tony’s eyebrows furrowed somewhat warily — the skepticism in his own explanation evident in his tight expression.

“Get it?” he asked, doubtfully.

Still, Peter kept nodding. And he meant it, each bounce becoming more genuine than the last.

“Yeah, I-I think I get it.”

There was little Peter had to lie about these days — and boy did it feel great having that burden off his shoulders. There was no reason to keep his secret identity of Spider-Man from his friends or family; not to mention having an entire superhero team watching his back meant he’d be safe from others finding out.

Hell, the most sneaking around he had to do lately was only when he wanted to pull some childish prank on Sam and Bucky — who never failed to start the trouble that Peter insisted he had no choice but end, like the responsible do-gooder he was.

And ever since everything that happened in Wakanda, Peter felt like he could be one-hundred percent honest with Mr. Stark, no matter the subject at hand. It was a openness he hadn’t felt with anyone since…

Well, ever.

It seemed the kinship he and Mr. Stark had developed was one nothing could compare to.

So there was no reason to lie. And he didn’t. Bit by bit, Peter was really starting to feel like he was understanding things.

Maybe that’s what growing up felt like.

—————

I have LOVED writing Peter through this journey of his for the last 3 books. Seriously, it's been a goddamn treat. Because, for me, it really feels like we've gotten to see him grow and mature through everything that's happened. It gives me that feeling of what Spider-Man: Homecoming set out to do, with a sorta Ultimate: Spider-Man vibe that implied we'd get to see Peter Parker struggle with the growing pains that come with...well, growing up.

I thought about that a lot when I outlined the plot of the Identity Saga — not even knowing this would actually play out the way it has, and to that I say bless every single reader who has given it life to go on this long. I really wanted to take that moment with Peter in the hotel room with Ned, jumping on the bed and bouncing around, whining like the literal 15 year old child he was that he WAS grown up! He could be trusted by Mr. Stark! He wasn't a kid, gosh darn it!

I loved it. Because as a grown woman who easily remembers acting the very same way, at the same exact age...well, every teenager thinks they understand the whole world. In reality, they've yet to even see what the world looks like.

When I gave each character a development goal to achieve by the end of the series, the one I wanted to see most from Peter — one of our main characters — was "grow up by realizing growing up happens on its own." We're gunna see SO much of that in Identity Within.

Peter's arc is really the foundation to the whole series once you read it at completion. It's something else I love so much about this series — it's been fantastic as a WIP, and easily digestible in the installments written over time. But I really look forward to the completion date, when I can sit back and read the entire beast from the first prologue. A lot of these ongoing subplots start way back in the first book, and it's really been such a joy to watch what started as a blank canvas form into a painting.

Anyway. To wrap up my ramblings, I totally understand what you're saying. I love that inner thought of Peter's, because I think it's something we can all relate to as human beings. We've all thought we knew it all at some point or another, we all thought "this is it, I'm a grown up, I got my shit locked." Then something throws us right off our feet and we're left shaking and trembling like the child we really are. Growing up is hard, and I've discovered in life not everyone actually does it. We age, but not everyone grows up. Because it's hard, it's painful, and some folks don't allow themselves to go through that struggle to get to the other side.

When I think about all that's happened in my life since starting this series....Jesus Christ, it would need a series of its own. I'm so glad to hear that this little fic of wonders has done something for you, though. That's all I could ever ask for.

I look forward to see you at the end of the journey ❤️

@kitcat992

I totally forgot which chapter (and book) this came from but I really resonate with it. Obviously enough to write it down.

These last couple years have been hard and I had done some growing up myself. Overcame a lot of stuff too. But your series has been a huge rock, my love for spiderman and Marvel. I know it's silly but I fell in love with these characters and I can't watch a Marvel movie without thinking about your work (which is cannon in my head). I just wanna say thank you for all your dedication and hard work, much love! 💕💕

[sneezemonster15]

I am new to Naruto fandom. Even newer to SNS fandom. I observed the shipping wars, and frankly, participated in it a couple of times. Just to see what it's all about. And I have come to one conclusion.

It's bonkers how far one will go to convince oneself about one's shipping whether it makes sense or not. At the end of the day, it becomes not really about the content itself, but one's comprehension and understanding of content. Which helps me understand why SS, NH, or NS stans exist. Their projection (which it certainly is) almost seems delusional and definitely inconsistent with the content itself.

When I first started watching Naruto, I wasn't aware of Naruto fandom. I am a cinephile and I am used to analysing content involuntarily while I am watching it. I wasn't expecting much from Naruto, I definitely underestimated it and wasn't expecting any emotional impact given it was shonen and I am very hard to please (yes, I am a film elitist). But as I kept watching it, I had to grudgingly change my opinion. By the time I reached Shippuden, I could tell that I was almost fevered with excitement and looking forward to more emotional impact.

I didn't watch it with any romantic lens, I was mostly interested in the fighting sequences initially. Hell, that's all I was expecting from a shonen show about ninjas. But at the end of vote 1, I was like, hmmm. What?? This was so emotionally wracking. Are they really just rivals, or friends? Now, I am a fully fledged cinephile and have watched a lot (a. Lot.) of LGBTQ films, given my interest in shows about emotional and sexual repression. And throughout my first watch of the first part, I kept picking up on the subtle sns moments without actively thinking about them. I was really into the story and wanted to see what will happen next. But at the end of vote 1, I had to stop and think, wait what, are they in love with each other? They are definitely not just friends. Or rivals. The language of their interaction in vote 1 is so fraught with underlying currents of repressed emotions that it just made the cinephile in me ask, what am I watching exactly? Like isn't it shonen (I am also relatively new to anime/manga) where gay relationships are a strict nono? Like why does it have all the tropes of repressed homosexuality in men, just like all the films I had seen. The way Naruto and Sasuke constantly gravitate to each other, their interactions at times feel like a borderline attempt at just staying close to each other, their violent, strong feelings and devotion for each other (land of waves arc) and then denial of those feelings (after the land of waves arc), their contant physical fights for no apparent reason, Sasuke goading Naruto for no apparent reason especially when Sasuke is not the type to talk without reason which had been made abundantly clear. Sometimes, it literally felt like he was flirting with Naruto (during the chuunin exams) while rejecting Sakura. Sasuke constantly appears to be caring and attentive towards Naruto while treating Sakura like trash. This was even acknowledged by Naruto who asks Sasuke to be nicer to Sakura. But Sasuke doesn't even think about it. He instead flirts (?) with Naruto. It made me think, why did the writer choose to do that? Why make it clear that in hierarchy, Sasuke keeps Naruto much higher than Sakura, so early in the show (when there hasn't been so much development either, we were mostly shown how they keep fighting and arguing with each other)? If they are supposed to just be comrades or friends, why pinpoint this? Why use this trope at all if it's about friendship, especially in a show that can't include a gay relationship.

And this kept happening consistently. The writer made the interaction between Sasuke and Naruto to be major turning points in the plot. Vote 1 fight made it clear to me that there was something more going on, but I didn't want to be presumptuous, so I kept it on the side and kept watching.

After watching Shippuden, I was convinced that none of it, was accidental. The writer painstakingly wrote a gay love story and was even obvious about it in a very clever way. Like he fucking got away with writing a gay love story in shonen. I know Naruto is basically a kids' show meant for entertainment purposes, but it touched so many important, dark and adult themes. I knew that it would be difficult for the writer to actually give a proper conclusion to these themes because they really aren't that black and white or even appropriate for children. So I wasn't surprised that he couldn't actually show peace being achieved after the war arc or slavery abolished in Hyuuga clan.

But one thing I was sure of. He wanted to show a gay love story, maybe out of a twisted sense of humor, I don't know. But that's what he did. He could not have made it clearer. He flagrantly used all the related tropes, visuals, sound, dialogues, hell the story. The fucking story...

He was so shrewd about it too. He made it so that people can take away whatever they wanted to take away from it as long as there was some plausible deniability about things that weren't made clear in the show itself. That fucking minx! But he knew that anyone who watches shit carefully, will be able to see what he actually did. He knew that at least some of us will be able to connect the dots. He went out of his way to make sure we connect the dots. There is no other way to explain why Sasuke repeatedly kept asking Naruto why he cared for him so much. There's no other way to explain why he concluded everything with the dialogue where Naruto explains that he hurts when Sasuke does. There's no other way to explain why that affected Sasuke to such an extent. Kishimoto went out of his way, like seriously, to tell the audience that they are Not just 'friends'. He basically used this friend thing with so much saturation and intent in such a twisted way that he made it into something else entirely. In that sense, the concept of 'friend' changed its meaning. Like you can try, but you can't change my mind about it.

Whether I approve it or not, but my takeaway from content depends mostly on the content itself. I do believe that more often than not, the simplest explanation is the right one. And this applies to the phenomenon of Naruto as well. Of course, as a viewer, I can't ignore that my suspension of belief relies on my own understanding of the external world and how I perceive visual language. But that is something that happens anyway, in tandem with consuming the content, while I was pretty much consistently objective about it.

I believe I have a pretty good understanding of how cinematic language works, and I know every creative or narrative choice has a reason and meaning behind it. Absolutely None of it is random. Cinematic language may not be universal in terms of styles, but all the styles definitely have a common ground. And any creator worth his salt knows it, he knows how his content will be perceived and what it is exactly that he wants to show or say. Do not delude yourself that it was accidental or on a whim.

I know for a fact that Kishomoto wanted to show a gay love story. I know for a fact that he wanted to show that Sasuke has feelings for Naruto and he knows it. He also wanted to show that Sasuke not only had feelings for Naruto but also knew that he couldn't show them openly. He wanted to show that Naruto has feelings for Sasuke as well but is confused and naive, like he is about so many other things. He wanted to show us that Sasuke is not into Sakura, that he doesn't even respect her. Any enthusiast of visual/cinematic language and narrative can tell all the above things without going into headcanon or deluded explanations (like SS, NH stans), with just on the basis of content they consumed.

At the end of the day, I don't ship SNS because it's in my head. I was forced to see and believe SNS by the creator. Not forced literally but forced to notice and acknowledge the emphasis and meaning of the twisted/manipulative ways of the creator.

Kishimoto, hats off to you, you sly bastard. You succeeded in trolling people endlessly, you had a lot of fun pitting people against each other, didn't you? Hahahahaha. Well, I call your bluff/or non bluff in this case since you obviously knew what you were doing.

[makeste]

so let’s talk about the new bak-u-go stuff

hey guys, so long story short, I took all of the bak-u-go stuff out of my weekly liveblog/recap post, and put it into its own separate post so that it didn’t take over the recap completely. so this is my big “all of my thoughts about the second OFA user’s vestige in chapter 304” post, basically.

my opinion going into the chapter

okay so without mincing words, my very controversial stance on this theory going in was more or less, “yes, I do think that maybe that Bakugou-shaped shadow who looks exactly like Bakugou could, in fact, be Bakugou.” not only that, but it strikes me as much more feasible than the alternatives, “Bakugou’s ancestor who looks exactly like him was the second user of OFA for some reason, and Horikoshi keeps hiding his face because... we don’t really know”, or “this is just some random guy with spiky hair, and again his face is being hidden just because.”

like, there is some reason we’re not allowed to know what he looks like, especially at this point. and writing-wise, there are really only three possible explanations for this. (1) it’s a red herring meant to trick us for some reason, (2) his character design hasn’t been completed yet, or (3) something about this character’s appearance is a spoiler, and the reveal is supposed to be a surprise.

regarding (1), I actually think this is the case with the Third. clearly he is not Kirishima as some had speculated. he doesn’t appear to be familiar at all. so if that’s the case, why is his face also being hidden? my theory is that it’s simply to lampshade the fact that the Second is being hidden as well. if Second was the only vestige whose face we couldn’t see, it would be beyond obvious at that point that he was someone familiar to us. having another vestige doing the same weird stuff makes him stand out slightly less.

anyways though, as far as Second himself being a red herring, I guess he could be. but a red herring for what? not to say it isn’t possible, but I don’t really see what the purpose would be.

regarding (2), this is a remote possibility, but imo it would be pretty uncharacteristic of Horikoshi. plus by this point he’s had more than enough time to flesh the design out. all of the other vestige character designs are completed, and we’ve seen all of Second and Third except their fronts and faces by this point. so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say this isn’t the reason.

which leaves (3): this character’s identity is important in some way, and is being purposely kept secret. this to me implies that it must be someone we know (because otherwise it wouldn’t be a spoiler). which basically means that no matter what, the possibilities are about to get weird.

my thoughts on the new “evidence” in the chapter

first off, my biggest impression is that there really isn’t much new evidence at all either way lol. but okay, let’s review what we got.

I’m ignoring Third at this point because I honestly have no idea who he is. he may very well be someone we haven’t met yet, so I don’t think there’s much point in speculating. so let’s focus on Second instead.

the hair

first off, his hair isn’t quite right to be Bakugou’s. it’s darker than Bakugou’s hair usually is, at least in the close-up, and also the hair on the nape of his neck doesn’t quite look right; it’s got more of an undercut vibe than Bakugou’s usually does. Bakugou’s hair is usually more out-of-control dandelion puff from the back.

so yeah, I’m not sold by this image. though on the other hand, I will say that as far as the argument that his hair is too dark, that’s undermined by the wide angle panel right before the close-up in which his hair isn’t colored in at all.

so yeah, it could just be something about the lighting in the close-up. also, the RHA scan seems to have upped the contrast a bit more than the original image.

here it doesn’t seem to be quite as dark compared to the wall he’s standing against. I could be wrong, though; we’ll get a better idea when the official version is released in a couple days.

but overall the style of the hair seems more off to me than the color. on the whole, I’m not really convinced either way here, so I’ll move on.

the rest of him

okay so first off, obviously this is not Bakugou’s current hero costume in any way, shape or form. honestly my first thought was “what is Shippuuden-era Naruto doing here in the OFA Mystical Space Land” lol. so yeah, no idea what that’s all about.

however he does have gauntlets! so this is definitely someone with some sort of arm or hands-related quirk. and Kacchan does have a new gauntlet design that we’ll see in movie 3, so it’s not outside the realm of possibility that these could be another new design along those lines. that said, these are clearly not his current big ugly grenade-style gauntlets.

last but not least, this person seems older than Bakugou, which for me makes me considerably less enthused about the possibilities here, since I’m a weirdo who likes the idea of a timeskip even less than most people seem to like the idea of time travel, lol. then again there really isn’t much here to support that “he seems older” statement; that’s just the general vibe I get from him, idk.

I will say though that he has Kacchan’s same triangle-shaped torso with the same broad shoulders and upper back tapering down into a more slender build. that stuck out to me right away when I looked at this image. but he really does give off Naruto vibes as well lol, like I can’t unsee it sob.

anyway, and last but not least,

the hidden faces

because so far most of the attention seems to be on their appearances. but those aside, this chapter introduces a very interesting question that this mystery will have to address one way or the other. namely, why are these two vestiges turned around and not interacting with the others?

“so that we can’t see their faces, duh” -- no, I get that, lol. but let’s talk in-story explanation now. why are they huddled in the time-out corner not moving or speaking? what could possibly be the reason for that. we can see them clearly enough, so we know that they’re “unlocked” and fully formed in that sense. All Might’s vestige is the only one that’s not yet visible, and supposedly that’s because he was quirkless?? and so he didn’t have a quirk factor that could be passed down through OFA initially. though I didn’t quite understand all of that part tbh.

but so then what’s the deal with these two losers? are they just antisocial or what? OFA First says that the vestige souls which were chilling out inside of OFA gradually gained the ability to take a physical form as OFA grew more powerful. and these two clearly have taken a physical form. so then why don’t they talk? there are only a few explanations for this that I can see.

(1) it could be that these guys are still alive, just like All Might (who doesn’t seem to be able to speak either, although the other vestiges can communicate with him in other ways).

(2) or, these guys are purposely hiding from Deku for some reason. (or at least, hiding as best as they can in this weird little rock slab floating in space.)

that’s it. if anyone else can think of more possibilities let me know because I’ve been sitting here racking my brain lol. this is all I can come up with. and honestly, either of these explanations would be suspicious as hell, theory-wise. if these two vestiges are still alive, that almost guarantees time travel right there. and if it’s simply that they’re hiding themselves from Deku, then that begs the question of why. which, again, leads us back to “they’re familiar, and Deku would recognize them.” (though that last bit goes against what I was saying earlier about the Third, doesn’t it. honestly I’m just spitballing here now, I haven’t really thought this all out too thoroughly.)

soooo... yeah. that’s pretty much where I’m at. nothing about this seems to make any more sense than it did a chapter ago tbh. though I will end this post by addressing one more thing, just cuz.

“this theory is dumb and makes no sense”

the correct statement to make here isn’t “this makes no sense”; it’s “we don’t know what’s going on yet.” if and when we finally get an explanation, then we can start making judgments about how much sense it does or doesn’t make. but until then we have nothing to base that verdict on.

same thing with “it’s dumb” -- look, “I hate time travel plots because they rarely work” is a valid opinion. but “rarely” isn’t the same thing as “never.” there are good time travel plots out there. idk why everyone keeps rolling with the assumption that this is going to be some cliche plot hole-filled science fiction bs narrative with a tragic ending. we have literally nothing to base that on. we have no answers and a whole lot of questions, is what we have.

maybe it will be disproven! or maybe it won’t, and it will be exactly as awful as everyone thinks and it will ruin the manga entirely. or maybe it will actually be really cool. we don’t know yet. that’s my one and only conclusion here -- that we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. but then again I guess it wouldn’t be BnHA fandom if we didn’t. anyway so thus concludes my post.

[jerepars]

Back again lol. Even though the writing just hasn’t been the best this season, I’m not really that mad about the way they’ve portrayed Jeresa. Just looking at this logically, I feel that they gave us 5x02 as our Jeresa episode early on and there really was a lot of sweet moments. Now, inevitably we had to have angst in between. But it’s been constantly cemented that James is in love with Teresa, and strongly implied that she loves him too. They can’t just build that up and leave it unresolved. Plus, with TV shows in general, a couple being together early on in the series just leaves it open for unnecessary conflict and the ship just loses its intrigue. If they give us the Jeresa ending we’re hoping for then it makes sense to have not got them together any episode earlier than the final 2. And despite everything, I think the writers have been a hell of a lot better than others in keeping their ship alive and not causing a irredeemable issue between them. I probably shouldn’t defend them before seeing the next two episodes, but I am hopeful. All that being said, there most definitely should have been more scenes and dialogue between them. We should’ve had a Tony moment between them (I’m so mad about this, especially since the writers acted like it was such a pivotal part of the season and then only showed Pote’s ‘grief’). I’m very sorry for rambling, just wanted to hear your take.

Oh, yes hello, back again, I see. Your ask made me sigh because I think it opens me up to be honest and critical of this season’s writing, and that kind of opinion may not always be favored around here, and also because it requires a response of essay length. But I’ll do it for you, anon, I will. Okay. So you want my take on the portrayal of Jeresa in season 5. Here we go. After the jump:

Let me preempt this by saying the show isn’t too serious (try and tell me this is still a serious show after the kerfuffle that season 5 has been), so you shouldn’t take this too seriously either. I have an opinion but I’m just…me. I encourage everyone to stick to their guns about what they feel about QOTS; what you like about it, what you love about it, what gets you excited, what you think has been done well, what is worthy of praise, etc. etc. etc. I go in pretty hard on the show in the next several (LOL, yes, really) paragraphs. But I am in no way the ultimate authority on all things QOTS.

I don’t think Jeresa would have unnecessary conflict and I don’t think the good ship Jeresa would lose its intrigue. In lieu of conflict, we’ve gotten…*crickets* nothing. No conversations of real value, no meaningful exchange of ideas, no arguments, nothing. If anything, the conflict between Teresa and James that is necessary had been absent. In seasons 1-3, there were always disagreements between Teresa and James. There was never a point reached where it created too much conflict, or unnecessary conflict. It created tension, which is like the very essence of Jeresa, and it showed the dynamic they have that made so many of us fall hard for Jeresa as our ship, as our OTP. I don’t think making them a couple or having them together early on in the season would create unnecessary conflict. I think it could’ve created different conflict than what we’ve seen before, and wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing, to have seen them evolve and deal with each other in ways we haven’t seen before?

So, related to what I said about different conflict, as far as intrigue goes…I don’t think presenting Jeresa as a couple or in a relationship would ever make them flat or boring. When I think back to season 3, when we got Jeresa in 3x05 and 3x09, I wish we’d been offered the chance to see them succeed and see what happened with them if they tried. Like I said, it’d be a different kind of conflict, a different kind of challenge for them to face and have to face together. That sounds so opposite of lacking intrigue to me, anon. That’s a side of Jeresa I would have loved to see.

You’ve pointed out that, in general, on TV shows, getting a couple together too early usually means doom and gloom and failure for them. One of my favorite shows ever was Veronica Mars, the first two seasons especially. When the showrunner, Rob Thomas, has talked about the first kiss Logan and Veronica have, he refers to it as being earned. For QOTS, and for Jeresa, I really felt that when they shared their first kiss in 3x05. It took so much and they went through so much to get to that moment. It was earned. So, with that idea—of the earned kiss, of the earned get together, of the earned relationship—in mind, to me, there is no point in season 5 that would have been too early for Jeresa.

Talking about TV shows and how they usually go in general leads me to my next point: as a viewer, is that what I want and is that what I should expect, to be given more of what’s typical? Maybe the writers and critics and people much smarter than me will tell me it’s my fault, I’m the fool, for wanting to critically engage in media that’s not meant to be consumed that way. Maybe I’m just supposed to accept and enjoy and be happy with what I’m given. No one claimed this wasn’t going to be typical. So okay. It’s on me. It’s my bad. But here’s the thing. If I’m supposed to accept and enjoy and love this as it is…well, give me something to love. I’m not asking for a revolution or anything life-changing here, just something I can appreciate (and this season, in my opinion, has really lacked things that I can hold on to and appreciate). So as for typical TV…I’m not down with merely accepting that because things usually go a certain way, that’s how they always have to go.

Why do Jeresa have to fail if they got together earlier in the season? Why is it so out of the realm of possibility that they might succeed together? Are they so emotionally stunted, do they lack so much compassion and understanding of each other that it would be impossible for them to listen and move forward together? What if they could discuss their issues, tell each other how they feel, stop hiding, and try? Who says there wouldn’t be angst and tension between them as they try to work through their issues? What if they’re actually supposed to be together and it would make them stronger—individually and as a couple?

Now, forget everything I just said. LOL. Let’s say we have to go by TV in general and typical TV rules. Let’s assume if Jeresa got together early on, then we’d see them struggle and fall apart and break up. Fine. Okay.

Here’s how Jeresa could have played out after the first two episodes:

5x03 banging honeymoon phase, probably

5x04 arguments and frustration with each other as T embraces being the white queen

5x05 J finds out about T’s coke usage and has to walk away from the relationship because he can’t stand to be complicit and stand idly by while she destroys herself

5x06 classic Jeresa angst and tension

5x07 KG’s death leads to T’s breaking point and J is there to support her

5x08 honesty hour, where it’s made clear that these two mean so much to one another and they’re running out of time to let each other know that, so they tell each other

5x09 one last united mission + they hatch the plan to get out and be free + a farewell with the promise and intent to see each other in another life

5x10 reunion in another life

Are these all headcanons? Of course they’re headcanons. Of course I would never expect the show to go exactly how I thought it would or with my own ideas. My point is that if they would’ve gotten together early on and we’d been given a glimpse of what that would be like, even if they failed, it doesn’t mean it would’ve been impossible for them to ever find themselves together again before season’s end.

“There’s not enough time,” the writers said. “It’s an action packed season,” the writers said. Okay. Why? There was enough time to spend on backstory of minor insignificant characters. There was enough time to introduce characters, tell us a bit about them, only to see them dead by the end of the episode. There was enough time to focus on Kote’s story, over multiple episodes, with not just a baby plot but a kidnapping one as well. So why? Why was there no time for Jeresa? Forget about them getting together and kissing and sex. If that was what it was (and it was) they wanted us to not have, then fine. Some of my favorite Jeresa moments were in the first two seasons, when Jeresa getting together was very much not a thing, when tension was high. So if it was just the portrayal of them not being together, if we still got the scenes of tension and them having no choice but to communicate, that would be completely fine. Like I said, I know I’m never going to get exactly what I want, my headcanons are mine, so that’s okay. Oh. But…no. Oh no. There was not even enough time for Jeresa to have more than short, throwaway, blink-and-you’ll-miss it conversations? Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“It’s a Teresa-centric season,” Dailyn claimed. Like I’ve said before, James is a big part of Teresa’s journey and story. If you’re going to have a Teresa-centric season, it’s hard to accomplish that without shedding more light on James and Jeresa. This isn’t a Teresa-centric season. This has become the Kote show. Teresa is the main character but her journey has been pushed aside, diminished, and downplayed in order to make way for Kote ultrasounds and Pote grunting and Kelly Anne thinking “positive” and hopeful that Marcel will come to a party at the safe house. Instead of getting conversations that would offer insight into Teresa’s relationships with those in her family, we got an extended deep dive into the most chemistry-lacking relationship we’ve ever seen on the show. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“It’s Queen of the South, not Jeresa of the South,” the writers will insist. If by that they mean it’s Kote of the South. Imagine for a second that it actually was a Teresa-centric season but they were adamant about keeping James in this minor capacity. Okay. It would still be different than it is now because we’d be in tune with Teresa. We would’ve gotten a glimpse into her thought process. Was this not, at some point, meant to be a story about a strong woman? I can even extend that question to Kelly Anne. Was this not, at some point, meant to be a story about strong women? Then why do we keep seeing them make asinine decisions? Why are their most extreme actions in reaction to what the men have done?

Moreover, if this show is about the people in the cartel, in Teresa’s inner circle, rather than just the Kote side plot becoming the main plot, there’s no way this is the James we would be getting. James, our beloved reluctant assassin…who we know nothing about. He can’t even get a backstory on a show on which he is supposedly one of the main characters. Five minutes—five seconds—couldn’t even be spared on James and how he came to be who he is, how he got where he is. But Isidro Navarro? By all means, I need to hear his life story. Who’s Isidro Navarro, you ask? Right. Exactly. Apparently we don’t deserve backstory and explanation and conversation and introspection from our protagonists. But a character who is there for ten minutes or less on a single episode and will never be heard from again in any significant manner? Of course he needs his screen time. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“This is not a romance show,” the makers of season 5 said. Honestly? Fuck that noise. Fuck that sentiment. Fuck that ignorance. When has Jeresa ever been about romance? Where do the people who make this show get off saying something like that as if we are so stupid we don’t know that? A romance story and a love story are not the same thing. Jeresa is love. God forbid Jeresa ever experience love within a successful relationship. God forbid Teresa and James ever become mature enough to use love as strength rather than weakness. But pile on all the Kote. Focus on them and emphasize how Teresa and James can barely even look at each other. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

So now here we are, on the cusp of 5x09. We got a spoiler in the last promo trailer. We know, after 7 episodes since their last conversation that actually meant something, after the writers missed the mark and didn’t have Jeresa interact in a way that was significant and necessary over the course of the season, that there is at least one kiss. They might even have a conversation. They might even share more than one kiss that leads to more (but also, don’t be surprised if we get a mere few seconds of a kiss and nothing more before fade to black). This is going to make us so happy because finally, finally, they’re giving us what we wanted. And then what? What does it mean if those things are true? Is everything forgiven? Is the instant gratification of seeing our ship sail for a scene or two enough? Does it make up for the character assassination of the characters we love? If we somehow get the ending we want, or at least one close to it, is it even believable anymore? Is what has been broken all season so easily fixed?

Listen, I already know the counter argument. I’m going to be told I’m crazy, that Teresa has to be on her own, that it wouldn’t be interesting, that it would diminish the payoff for Teresa and Jeresa in the end. I get it. Typical TV rules, right? We have to go with what people know, what they’re used to. But what have we gotten, really, to preserve these ‘rules’ for TV in general? Teresa has been dumbed down and is now lacking a lot of the intuition and street smarts she had before. She makes bad decision after bad decision and she doesn’t see what’s coming. The actions she takes are in reaction to those bad decisions. James hates so much of what he’s been made to do but for some reason he keeps going along and carrying out Teresa’s orders; he’ll just stew over it quietly in a corner without saying anything. Teresa and James don’t talk to each other, at least not about anything important, and when they do talk, they give each other heart eyes but never scratch the surface—how could they when they talk for like 10 seconds at a time? So. Has this been a good portrayal of Jeresa? You tell me. If it’s fine with everyone else, then I guess it’s fine. I’m probably the wrong person to ask.

[incorrect-quotes-from-she-ra]

Morning! I hope you don't mind if i give you yet another She-Ra thought I'm too damn lazy to post on my own. Also, it's long again. I WILL find that character limit some day.

So, we know the way Shadow Weaver raised Adora resulted, among other issues, in her being selfless to the point of self-sacrifice, which came to a climax in the Heart's failsafe business.

And it's been suggested that this was basically intentional on Shadow Weaver's part. Basically, selflessness is a very beneficial quality for others to have. My theory is that <b>her plan for Adora had always been specifically for her to someday use the failsafe and release all magic</b>.

(i will admit i am also curious how formatting works in this app. thank you for your help with these experiments)

So, evidence. Let's start with her name. I know this is a remake and they were stuck with the existing names, but there's a scene where Scorpia complains about it ("yeah i GET it, everyone LOVES you"), which constitutes the writers acknowledging its meaning, which makes me think it's fair game to analyze.

First, I'm obviously assuming Shadow Weaver choose it, as part of her ongoing parenting plan. It's also possible it was her original First One-given name, we don't know. Neither quite works because either she or Light Hope should have had some issues knowing what the name was and they clearly knew automatically. Really the entire series is weird in that everyone communicates with everyone else way too easily, and i will definitely rant about that someday.

For now let it stand that Shadow Weaver is the parent figure, it makes the most sense for her to pick the name, both in-universe and narratively, so i shall assume so by default. I have two things to say about that choice.

First, as we all have noticed, most of the princesses have names ending in -a. All of them, if you count "Glimma". It's never said to be intentional, but it would make sense. And then IF such a tradition exists among Etheria's royalty, it's not unreasonable for Shadow Weaver, a notable and moderately respected member of the land of knowledge, to know about it.

And then if she knew, of course she would take it into consideration when looking for names. Admittedly it's a little weird with the anti-Princess propaganda that the Horde has, but she doesn't really need to explain or justify this. Hordak has a very [i]laissez-faire[/i] attitude, and everyone else she clearly doesn't care about.

And if she knew or suspected that the princesses' powers were related to the Heart of Etheria, which i will argue for later, then giving her a princessy name is also adequately ironic.

The second name bit is that Scorpia clearly knows some Latin, but not enough. True, <em>adorare</em> means to worship and/or to love, but Latin verbs are more complex than that. _Adora_ specifically is 3rd person singular present indicative active. The translation would be "she loves".

Names aside, i want to talk about how they (we) learned about the Heart of Etheria. Castaspella doesn't know what to do, Shadow Weaver suggests they take a road trip to research, which she's reticent about but concedes is probably the best use of her time, and they find success. We don't know how long it took them, but i had the distinct impression that it wasn't very long.

Naturally, I'm suggesting Shadow Weaver knew all along, and led Castaspella on the trip to have an excuse for the inevitable "how do you know?". Also tricked her into thinking it was /her/ discovery, and maybe even that she was succeeding where Shadow Weaver had failed before, if necessary.

That's why she's so excited to share their results with everybody, and Shadow Weaver cuts her off, apparently just to antagonize her for fun, but I'm suggesting it was also because for her this is the culmination of a decades-long plan, and she wants to Get On With It.

It's also interesting that there was a mural depicting the Spell of Obtainment in the hallway leading to the failsafe. It was a reminder of Shadow Weaver's past, and an opportunity for her to show she regrets her results but doesn't repent from her choices, which i quite like actually. But I'm also saying that, meta-textually, it was a signal that she'd been there before, literally.

And then there is the potential in-universe connection, since we don't know what exactly the spell was meant to be obtaining. Power, for sure, and from what happened we're probably meant to assume it's tapping into some sort of demonic entity or dimension.

Fair enough, except that it never comes up again. And it's kind of a big plot point that Etheria is isolated from the rest of the cosmos, which may or may not conflict with it having a contactable "hell". Meanwhile there's the Heart of Etheria Project collecting all that magic, which Mara's allies (and their descendants) would know something about, have access to at least one backdoor to, and may well have tried to tap into its power at some point.

And then what went wrong may well be one of the defense mechanisms of the Project, though I'm admittedly veering into unfounded speculation.

So, a rough timeline. Light Spinner was always motivated to excel and craved power. She was probably always envied the princesses, who command greater magic than most sorcerers with apparently none of the study and practice.

She took to researching everything she could that might lead to power, eventually discovering the chamber with the failsafe, and presumably other information left by Mara's Friends, either in other chambers or in documents she's since removed. She would have learned a lot of things from this.

As i suggested, i believe she knew there's some connection between the princesses at large and the Heart of Etheria. Incidentally, i don't know exactly what that connection is, and in particular whether princesses were created by the Project or an existing phenomenon that the First Ones co-opted. But it doesn't matter, exactly.

What's important is that there's clearly a connection, more specifically a control system for the princesses and their magic, which is presumably related to how Shadow Weaver was able to tap into the Black Garnet's power. With Hordak's help, obviously, since she clearly believed it when he claimed he could cut her off at will, but he's later shown to have basically no understanding of First Ones' tech, so the knowledge must have come from her.

For the record, i would guess she thinks princesses are artificial, empowered both magically and politically to keep the planet in check, and that they would be depowered once the failsafe was fired. I also think that may be true, actually, since it almost happened when Entrapta was messing with the system, and if i recall none of them were shown to use any magic after Adora did fire it, while she clearly used Perfuma's power. But anyways!

Back to what Shadow Weaver learned, she would know some of what the failsafe does, namely disrupt the system that's hoarding most of the planet's magic, thereby spreading magic to all (most notably her), and some of how to use it, and the fact that she couldn't do so and hope to live, and some of the criteria for who can. That part is important.

But first, she also learned the Spell of Obtainment, deemed it more likely but didn't think she could do it herself, despaired of getting help until she thought Hordak's rise to fame would give her #casus belli#, lost her patience when the Mystacor leadership disagreed, etc etc etc. Pretty uncontroversial in this part, i think.

After she'd joined the Horde, when Hordak showed up with baby Adora and wanted to lump her with the rest of the orphans they have, Shadow Weaver pleaded to have her get special treatment. She even said that she's special, and it couldn't have been her leadership skills or good heart, since she didn't have either yet. It's heavily implied she could recognize her as a First One, but it's not clear why she would care, since they were known for leaving behind advanced technology, which a baby also doesn't have. Unless, of course, she knew there are devices only a First One could use, and maybe has plans related to that.

So I'm pretty sure she learned the criteria that the failsafe requires, devised some spell or technique to check people for them that she pretty much used all the time, just in case, and was very surprised when a newborn tested positive. She was also surprised when Hordak made her personally responsible for the raising of the kid, but her reaction is pretty much "ok, that could work, i guess".

Also also, i suspect she can read First One script. Not perfectly like Adora, but better than Bow's parents probably. Mostly because when she puts Adora's hand on the crystal and says "i think you know the password", that seems like a very transparent attempt to pretend she knows it too when she doesn't. But that seems irresponsible at such a crucial moment, she and Castaspella should really have researched it earlier. Or at least her line there should have been "you can read this, right?" or somesuch.

So I'm thinking it's a double bluff, hoping everybody assumes she doesn't know so she doesn't have to reveal how and why she knows, again.

And that's all i have, i think? This is not nearly as well laid out as i would like. But then, nothing ever is, right?

Also it's not even close to morning anymore. Thank you if you even got this far, and have a good evening!

hi!!! this took me a while to answer, i'm so sorry about that <3

i'm very low on energy today so i cannot summon up the brain energy to respond properly to this, as much as i want to, i'm really sorry for that as well

i love this theory!! it actually fits in really well with canon and makes, like, a LOT of sense now that i think about it. i definitely wouldn't have thought of this on my own, so thank you for sharing this with me!! :D

[thegreatestofheck]

Little Village {Finale?}＊Outer Banks＊

find the other seven parts here!

word count - a lot but not too many warnings - Swearing, fighting, that whole deal synopsis -  An unwanted person shows their face and everything changes.  tagging -  @apoguecalledjj @ijustreallylovethem @deathcompass @lolitstiana @jxpiter-sxturn @parkerpetertingle @diverrdown , @ponyboys-sunsets, @outerbanksbro, @alexandracheers, @x-lulu a/n - I think there might only be one more chapter after this depending on how this goes down, so that’s exciting. Also, thank you to @raesficrecs for giving me the motivation to finish this chapter. I’m sorry to everyone else that it has taken this long. Also, I wanted to let everyone know that it has been a little bit over a year since the start of this story which makes June now 19 and all of the Pogues 18 or older. Just so ya know. Also, after this chapter, if you want to do requests of what you’d like to see from June and the Pogues, let me know! Because I think this is the end of the plot that I had planned. Okay, back to the story. 

“Okay, the two of you have got to knock it off.” 

This was the fifth week in a row that the dinner table had been silent save for the brief crying of Eleanor. June and JJ sat on opposite ends of the table as far away from each other as possible. John B sat somewhere in the middle, eating his soup with a scowl on his face. But he had enough. 

“I don’t know what the hell is going on between the two of you and, frankly, I don’t care. But you are really bumming me out.” 

JJ scoffed, his eyes fixed on his bowl of soup as he obnoxiously sipped from his spoon. John B looked to June, who rolled her eyes and picked up her bowl of soup and made for the nursery.

“Dude, what did you do?” John B asked his friend.

JJ just shrugged.

June leaned over the crib, smiling as she waved a stuffed giraffe over Eleanor. The Little Pogue grinned, quiet laughs coming from her as she stretched up her hands for the plushie.

“My sweet girl,” June mused, reaching toward her daughter and stroking her cheek with a finger. “What would I do without you?”

Life carried on.

JJ stayed away. He was barely ever at the Chateau when June was. She knew that he was over sometimes when she wasn’t around, to talk to John B or to see Eleanor. Part of June wanted to ban him from her property entirely, but that felt cruel. She knew how much Eleanor meant to him, and taking that joy away from him for her own mistakes didn’t feel right.

She spent a lot of her time at Kie’s house with Sarah and Eleanor. They tried hanging out at the Cameron abode, but June felt tense every time she saw Rafe. He always kept his distance, but June struggled to trust him, even if she was working on forgiving him.

The day that Sarah finally told John B that Rafe had come back, June cried in the bathroom for an hour. John B was as stubborn as she was. And he hated Rafe more than most everyone else except maybe Pope and Sarah. June was barely surviving without JJ. She couldn’t handle losing Sarah as well. It felt as though her little village was falling apart and there was nothing she could do to hold it together.

John was angry. He was hurt. He was scared. But he loved Sarah more than he hated Rafe. He held her hand as she cried. He forgave her for not telling him sooner. He kissed her forehead and told her that he wasn’t going anywhere.

June knew he wasn’t going to the Cameron house as long as Rafe lived under the roof. He had a hard enough time having lived there himself for a while.

Knowing that she wasn’t about to lose another one of her friends, June could finally breathe again.

After John B told her everything that had happened with Sarah, he saw the distant look in June’s eyes and reached across the table to grab her hand.

“What’s wrong?” he asked her.

“It’s nothing.” She smiled at him. “I’m just glad you and Sarah are working through it.”

John B knew his sister. He could read her like a book. Something was very much the matter. But she was as stubborn as a mule and she wouldn’t budge once she had decided on something. And June had decided that nothing was wrong.

~~~

The Heywards invited the Routledge’s over every week for a family dinner. Sitting at a table that didnt wobble with food that wasn’t heated up in the microwave was always nice. But June liked the company more than anything else.

Two parents, her brother, one of her best friends, and her baby. It felt like family.

They laughed, talked about their days, made jokes, teased Pope.

This week, John B left early. Kie was helping him study for a test he had that week.

Pope took June out to the back where they had set up a rundown basketball hoop. June had never been coordinated athletically. She failed miserably at anything sports related. But Pope liked to help teach her.

They stood out in the cold while Mrs and Mr Heyward coddled Eleanor.

June huffed in irritation as she tossed the ball, missing the basket entirely but hitting the backboard.

“What’s on your mind?” Pope asked, making a perfect basket.

“How much I suck at this,” June said.

Pope would have laughed if he hadn’t been so worried about her.

“What’s really going on?” He asked and tucked his ball under his arm so she couldn’t throw it again.

She looked at him with pinched eyebrows.

“Nothing.”

“I don’t appreciate being lied to, June.”

“I’m not lying-“

“You’re very clearly lying to me.”

June made a face that looked like she was sucking on a lemon. She finally sighed.

“JJ brought a girl into the house,” she said finally.

“Isn’t that against the rules?” Pope passed her the ball.

June bounced it against the ground and nodded her head.

“So you revoked his Eleanor pro ledges?”

“More like I revoked his me privledges.”

“Ah.”

June threw the ball and missed again. A glare settled on her brow as she went to retrieve the ball.

“Is it the rule breaking you’re upset about or the fact that there was another girl in the house?”

“What’s the difference?”

“One is you being protective of Eleanor and one is being protective of you.”

June paused, looking at Pope with her scowl. But he didn’t back down.

“I’m not following.”

“You don’t want girls in the house because that’s strangers you don’t know hanging around your baby. Understandable. You also don’t want girls around because you know the only reason JJ does it is to shove your face in the fact that it’s not you.”

June threw the ball again, but this was anger. She hurled it at the backboard as hard as she could and watched as it hit the ground.

“There it is again.” Her words were quiet because she was afraid if she let herself talk any louder, she would be screaming.

“There what is?”

She whirled around to face Pope, her eyes cold as steel.

“Everyone thinking they know me. You, Kie, Sarah, Rafe. You think you have me figured out.”

Pope didn’t say anything, but his face spoke volumes.

“You think if I was in love with JJ I’d be the first to know it?” Pope raised his eyebrows almost in shock but June didn’t see it as she turned in an angry circle. “I wouldn’t need everyone going around telling me how I feel!”

With her back to him, June was able to let out a heavy sigh, calming her nerves.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”

“No worries,” Pope said. “Maybe it’s not that we know better than you, but maybe we’re seeing things from a perspective you’re not.”

June turned around slowly, hands on her hips.

“You really think I’m in love with JJ?”

“I think you need him.” Pope picked the ball of the ground. “And I know he needs you.”

He tossed the ball June’s way before heading back toward the house. June caught the ball with a heavy breath. She stared at it in her hands for a few moments. Looking up at the basket, she absently threw the ball and turned to follow Pope.

She didn’t see the ball go through the basket.

~~~

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” June said, a little louder than she meant to.

The little old lady she was trying to serve coffee too looked up at her.

“What’s wrong, dear?” The woman asked, not mentioning the fact that her normally very sweet waitress just swore.

June couldn’t tear her eyes away from the car that had just parked in the parking lot. She knew that car. Its license plate number was seared into her head, the sound of the plastic die clanking together already echoing through June’s head. 

“I’m going to send another waitress to serve you, Phyllis, okay?” June said. Even as she spoke, June didn’t take her eyes off of the car, or the person sitting in the front seat. 

“Oh, um-” 

“Kay, thanks.” 

June spun around and almost ran for the counter. She gently grabbed hold of another waitress’ arm and pointed toward Phyllis, who stared after her with a concerned look in her eyes. 

“June, you okay?” The waitress, Cedar, asked. 

“Just peachy.” 

June glanced behind her as the bell of the diner rang. She swallowed a yelp as she ducked and scurried for the kitchen, where she hoped her manager would be. 

David saw her practically hiding behind a pile of dirty pots and raised an eyebrow. 

“What are you doing back here, Routledge?” 

“David!” June stood up straighter and shot a glance out to the house, where a man was beginning to pace around, looking for someone. “I need to take the rest of the day off.” 

“What?” 

“I’m feeling-” June faked a cough. “Ill.” 

“June, you worked while eight months pregnant. I don’t think you’d want me to send you home over a cough. What’s going on?” 

June scowled, but glanced back out toward the man. He didn’t look a day older than when she had last seen him, a little more than a year ago now. She ground her teeth together before looking back at David. 

“My ex,” she said, nodding toward the man. “Fred.” 

“Eleanor’s father?” David sounded purely shocked as he snapped his head around to catch a look at Fred. 

“He’s not her father,” June snapped, before realizing the tone she was taking with the man she was currently begging to let her off work. “Dave, I just-“

“You don’t have to explain anything, Routledge. We’re pretty light today. Take the day off.”

June let out a steadying breath and nodded her head.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

June grabbed her things from her cubby before making for the back door as quickly as possible. Hurrying across the parking lot, she forced herself to keep her gaze on her car. She just had to reach her car.

“June!”

She startled, gasping as she tightened her hands around her keys, but she didn’t turn around.

He said her name just like he always had; irritated, as if she was always rubbing him the wrong way.

June was 17 when she met Fred. He was a Kook and he promised to help her and John B out with DCS until she turned 18 and could take care of the both of them. Fred was 26. She thought she owed him something when she turned 18. Next thing she knew, she was pregnant and he was throwing her out to the street.

June didn’t cry over him. She had never been attached to him. But she was afraid of him. Part of wondered if he would come back to try and claim Eleanor as his own. He was on and off Kildare for business trips and it appeared he had just returned.

“June, I know you can hear me.” June kept walking, refusing to even acknowledge that he was there. “Damn it, June,”

She heard him walk closer to her. She thought about booking it, but she didn’t want to show him fear. She didn’t want him to have that satisfaction. So, she let him get closer. She let him run after her.

Fred grabbed her by the wrist and she spun around to face him. She hadn’t seen him in over a year, yet he already looked much older.

“What do you want?” she asked, curling her hand into a fist in her pocket.

“I want to talk to you.”

“Do you now?”

“June-“

“Dont ‘June’ me. I’m not a child, Fred. Not anymore.”

The muscles in Fred’s jaw tightened as he stared down at her.

“I want to see my kid.”

June let out a bitter laugh.

“You...you’re not serious right now.” From the unchanging look in his eyes, June could tell he was. “You don’t even know your own child’s sex, why in the world would I let you anywhere near us?”

“I have every right, as the father-“

“I’m not having this conversation in the diner parking lot,” June said and put up a hand to cut him off. “Your not seeing my child, ever. Goodbye.”

She turned toward her car.

“June, don’t walk away from me!”

She did.

As soon as she was safe in the car and the doors locked, June pulled out her phone. She barely looked at it as she pulled out of the parking lot, but as she glanced down, she realized that the only person she could think to call was JJ. He’d want to hear that Fred had come back. He’d want to meet her at the Chateau to keep her and Eleanor safe.

The line was ringing before June could stop herself

But JJ wasn’t talking to her. JJ wanted nothing to do with her.

After two rings, June hung up.

She considered calling John B, but she didn’t want her brother to get arrested for a real murder, which is what would happen if she told him that Fred had showed up at her workplace. She found herself calling Kie, her throat thick as she tried to calm the shaking of her hands by squeezing the wheel until her knuckles were white.

“Hey, June, whats up?”

“Fred showed up at work today.”

“You’re shitting me!”

“Nope. I’m going to pick El up from the Heywards, would you mind meeting me back home? I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

“Of course. I’ll be there.”

“Thank you.”

June knew that Kie would have a thousand more questions that she didn’t want to answer, so she hung up and threw her phone into the passenger seat.

All the way to the Heywards, her heart pounded against her ribcage. She had nightmares about Fred coming to reclaim Eleanor, of endless custody battles, of all the dirt on her family that Fred could dig up.

Just the thought brought terrified tears to June’s eyes. Breathing became difficult, as if someone was squeezing her chest. If she lost Eleanor, June wasn’t sure what she would do. She would just die, she supposed. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to suck in breaths that just wouldn’t go down. With her arms shaking, she pulled over to the side of the road until she found a way to calm down.

June shut her eyes, placing both of her hands against her chest. She breathed heavy, shaking breaths in through her nose as she tried to slow her sobbing. She had friends in high places now. The Cameron’s would take care of her. The Carreras would too. The Heywards would do anything to help her. Everything would be okay. She just needed Eleanor in her arms. Then everything would be okay.

Pulling back onto the road, June wiped away her tears and set her sights on the Heyward household.

Mrs. Heyward asked a few questions when June pulled up five hours early to pick up Eleanor. June answered them shortly as she plucked Eleanor off the ground and held her tight to her chest. The girl was almost six months old. Half a year. She was still so small.

June tried not to cry again right there in front of Mrs. Heyward. These would be tears of relief as Eleanor cooed and babbled, knotting June’s hair inbetween her fingers.

“My dear, are you okay?” Mrs. Heyward asked.

June finally looked at her, eyes classy, and she nodded.

“It’s just been a long day. Do you mind if I take her home early?”

“Not at all.”

The two packed up Eleanor’s things and Mrs. Heyward helped June pack of all into her car.

“You know, girl, if there’s anything you need, you just have to ask.”

June buckled Eleanor into her car seat before looking back at her friend.

“I know. Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

June could finally breathe as she drove back to the Chateau, knowing that Eleanor was in the back seat just behind her. Every few seconds, she would glance in the mirror, just to make sure she was still there. Eleanor babbled to herself, looking out the window as she shook a small giraffe.

Finally back home, June took no time to pull Eleanor from her car seat, abandoning everything else. She just wanted to get inside, to feel safe. Once Kie was there, maybe she would go out to retrieve it all, but all she needed now was Eleanor.

The small girl didn’t even seem to notice her mother’s frantic mood as she clicked her tongue and pulled one June’s necklace.

June was half way to the porch when the front door opened and out stepped Fred.

She let out another gasp and turned her body, shielding Eleanor from him.

“It’s a girl,” Fred said, almost teary eyed.

“Stay back,” June said.

Fred took a step toward them and June took a step back. Eleanor stopped making sound, finally seeming to realize that something was wrong.

“She’s beautiful.”

He took another step.

“I said stay back!”

Eleanor let out a quiet cry at her mother’s harsh tone. June wanted to tell her that it’d be alright, but she refused to tear her steel glare away from Fred. She was afraid he would leap if she looked away for even a second.

“I just want to talk, June, and to see our daughter.” Fred took a few more steps, but fear held June where she was.

“My daughter.”

Fred let out a heavy sigh and lowered his head. 

“Why-” 

“You left me,” June said, her voice low and suddenly full of tears. “I needed you and you left me.” 

“You didn’t love me.” 

“I was a kid!” Eleanor let out a quiet cry and June held her tighter. “You left. You left me alone.” 

“And I’m back now. That should count for something.” 

“You can’t reap what you didn’t sow, Fred.” 

Fred’s soft, almost mournful look hardened into something fouler. He took one, two steps toward her. 

“June!” 

She whipped her head around just in time to see JJ running toward her. A smile started to spread across her face, but it fell quickly. She was already in one fight, she couldn’t handle another. 

JJ slowed to a stop in front of her, resting one of his hands on the back of Eleanor’s head before brushing the back of his fingers against June’s cheek as if to check and make sure they were both alright. 

“What are you doing here?” June asked him a low voice. 

“You called.” 

There was almost a ‘duh’ sound to his tone, as if she should expect nothing less from him. 

“And you came?” 

“I’ll always come when you call.” 

“I understand,” Fred said with a bitter scoff, drawing both JJ and June’s attention back to him. 

JJ stepped in front of June on instinct, standing between her and Fred. 

“What?” June snapped, her scowl returning to her face. 

“This is why you won’t let me back into your life? Your screwing your brother’s best friend?”

JJ tensed, his hands clenching, his jaw tightened, the muscles on his arms bulging. But he stayed where he was. June kept her eyes glued on Fred. She could smell a fight brewing. JJ would defend her, as he always did. 

“Get the hell out of here, man,” JJ said. His words were strong, unafraid. June remembered when he told her how terrified of his dad he was, how he couldn’t even look him in the eye most of the time. He had told her once that it made him feel like a coward, like a scared little boy. 

She hadn’t ever seen him that way. He had always been the first one to defend his friends, to defend his family. Even if it meant getting his knuckles bloody. He didn’t care about the consequences. 

June saw no trace of a scared little boy now, his ocean blue eyes a calm tempest waiting to explode. 

Fred didn’t even look at JJ, his own piercing gaze fixed on June and only June. 

“You know, even when we were together, I always thought you were low. You were too easy. I knew you’d shag anyone that gave you the time of day, but he’s low, even for you.” Fred’s words were venom, sinking deep into her skin, paralyzing her. 

“Don’t talk about him like that,” June said, but her voice shook, betraying the fear that made her stiff. 

Fred laughed. He was laughing at her. Laughing because she was afraid. 

“I can still help you. Get you and the baby out of this dirty house, away from your dirty friends. She can still have a good life,” Fred told her, his tone becoming soft again. 

June glanced at the house behind Fred, with it’s popped out nails and it’s torn mattresses and it’s dusty bookshelves. She looked at Fred’s new shoes, his shiny rolex, his perfectly styled hair. June glanced down at Eleanor, the light of her life, her sun against the darkened sky. 

“You know she’s better off with me,” Fred said. Tears sprang into June’s eyes. “You don’t want her ending up like you.” 

Like a dog let off it’s leash, JJ lunged forward suddenly, letting out a cry of rage. June’s eyes widened as she cradled Eleanor’s head to her chest. She watched JJ cross the yards in a few strides, landing a solid punch against Fred’s jaw before Fred even saw him coming. 

It wasn’t until JJ hit him again that June felt Fred’s spell on her fade. She turned from the fight, holding Eleanor close, and she ran. 

June ran back toward the car as fast as her legs could take her. Eleanor cried as June’s feet thundered against the ground, the sounds of skin hitting skin trailing off behind her. 

Once June was safe by the car, she threw open the door and set Eleanor inside the car seat. For just a second, she let herself glance back toward the fight. Fred had JJ up against the wall of the Chateau, an arm across his chest. JJ’s lip was already bleeding. They were both breathing heavily. 

June buckled Eleanor into the car seat, closed the door, and slid into the front seat. 

She sat there, with her hands on the wheel, breathing heavily. She should drive away, get Eleanor somewhere safe. But she looked out of her window and Fred was pounding JJ’s face in. 

JJ, who had held her hand while she gave birth. 

JJ, who hummed Eleanor to sleep when June was too exhausted to stand. 

JJ, who remembered her birthday even when June didn’t. 

JJ, who defended her honor by any means necessary. 

JJ, who came to her whenever she called, no matter how mad at her he was. 

June threw open the door, slamming it shut, and locked the car. She tucked the keys into her pocket and ran back toward JJ as fast as her legs could take her. 

JJ never once left her when she needed him. She was not about to let him down now. 

June hurled herself into Fred with as much force as she could muster, knocking him off his feet and away from JJ. She and Fred hit the ground at the same time JJ did. June rolled through the leaves, the wind knocked out of her. JJ staggered to his feet and grabbed hold of Fred, but he had recovered quickly. He gave JJ one good punch, and he toppled to the ground. 

June forced herself onto her feet and stepped between Fred and JJ just as Fred swung a harsh right hook. June yelped as his fist collided with her cheek. Her head spun as she hit the ground a second time. Vision blurring, all she could see was the world tilting as Fred bent down to pick something out of the leaves. 

The keys. 

“No!” June reached out with her hand and grabbed hold of Fred’s ankle just as he started for the car. 

Fred tripped and fell over, his forehead hitting the hard ground. He tugged on his leg in an attempt to free himself, but June dug her fingernails into his skin like claws. Even through his $900 pants, he could feel the sting of her grip. She clawed her way to a better grip on his calf. He kicked at her, hitting her shoulder, but she didn’t let go. 

Another car pulled up into the Chateau front yard. 

“June!” Kie jumped out of the front seat almost before the car was fully stopped. 

“The keys!” June cried out. “Eleanor....the car!” 

It didn’t take Kie long to figure out what was going on as June clambered over Fred. She tore the keys from his hand, ignoring his shouts of protest. She forced her aching body onto her feet and ran to meet her friend. 

“What’s going on?” Kie asked, glancing back at Fred as he tried to push himself out of the dirt. 

“Take Eleanor to Heyward’s,” June said, pressing the keys into her hand. “I’ll meet you there.” 

“But, June-” 

“Go!” 

June turned toward the house and Kie ran toward the car without any more protesting as JJ managed to get to his feet and drag Fred back into the dirt. 

“She’s not your daughter,” Fred said through the blood in his teeth. “She’s mine.” 

“You weren’t there when June was throwing up every morning,” JJ seethed, grabbing the man’s shirt and pulling him upward. “I was.” 

JJ landed a punch against his face. 

“You weren’t there the day that Eleanor was born. I was.” 

Another punch. 

“You weren’t there on the nights that June couldn’t sleep. I was.” 

Fred tried to scurry away, but JJ held him tight. 

“You haven’t changed a single diaper, read her a single book, taught her a single thing. I have.” 

JJ raised his fist to hit Fred again, but before he could, June stepped out through the front door. 

Both he and Fred turned to look at her as she cocked her shiny new shotgun. 

JJ’s lips parted in surprise as June pointed the barrel at Fred, whose eyes went wide. 

“Where did you-” 

“I’ve had men break into my house to try and kill my friends,” June said before JJ could finish his question. “This might have been useful then. It’s proving useful now.” 

JJ let go of Fred’s bloody shirt and Fred slid his hands into the air as June slowly stepped forward, her target fixed on him. 

“June-” 

“You get off my property and you never come back, you hear?” June said as she took one step down the porch stairs. “I don’t want to see your face, I don’t want to hear your name.” 

She stepped down the stairs until she was on solid ground. JJ backed away slowly, hands up like Fred’s were. She must have had a look in her eye because JJ looked almost...afraid of her. 

“If I hear of you coming anywhere near my daughter, I will not hesitate to pull this trigger, do you hear me?” Her voice was low, but it no longer shook. Her hands were steady, her gaze fixed. She knew her aim would be true and so did Fred. 

“Eleanor deserves a father,” Fred said. 

June’s eyes blazed red hot and she took a few dangerous steps toward him, thundering like the clouds above and he scurried away from her. 

“Don’t say her name,” June growled. A final warning. “Eleanor has me. And she has a family. A better family than you could ever provide. Now, get. The. Hell. Off. Of. My. Land.” 

Fred glanced over at JJ, who must not have given him what he wanted because Fred pushed himself to his feet and scrambled off toward wherever it was he hid his car. 

As soon as he was out of sight, June lay the gun on the ground and pulled out her phone. Kie was on speed dial. 

“Kie?”

“June! Are you okay? Is JJ-” 

“We’re fine. We’re okay. Eleanor?” 

JJ walked up beside June, his face a mess of blood and dirt, but there was concern in his eyes. June looked up at him, her heart pounding in her chest. 

“She’s asleep already.” June let out a breath of relief and so, it seemed, did JJ. “I’m half way to Heyward’s. Do you want me to turn around?” 

“No, no. I’m going to clean JJ up and then we’ll meet you there.” 

“Okay.” Kie was silent a moment. “Are you sure you’re okay, Jue?” 

June let out another heavy breath and nodded her head. 

“I am. Shoot me a text when you get there.” 

“Will do. I love you.” 

“Love you too, Babes.” 

June hung up the phone and shoved it back into her pocket. She felt the far too familiar sting of tears and pressed her hands against her nose to block them out. She had spent too much of today crying already. She didn’t even know what she should be crying about. 

JJ put a hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. June closed her eyes, almost unable to see the mess that was his face. 

“Come here,” he said, his voice soft and quiet as he pulled her in for a hug. 

JJ’s hugs were usually the bone-crushing kind. He had a tendency to wrap his arms around someone’s waist and squeeze them until there was no more breath left in their lungs. June was used to that kind of hug. But this was gentle. He put his arms around her neck, folding her into him. June kept her eyes closed, kept her hands pressed to her nose, but she rested her forehead against his chest. And they just stood there. For a few moments, they just stood. 

Until June got to comfortable with the smell of his cologne and the way he smelled like the salt waves and the sandy beaches. Until she remembered that the last time they spoke, they were screaming at each other. 

She pulled herself out of his embrace and felt a sudden chill run up her spine, as if all the warmth had just been drained from her body. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” she said, not looking at JJ as she turned to walk into the Chateau. 

She knelt in front of him as he sat on the edge of his bed, dabbing a wet towel against his knuckles. The air was so thick from all the things they never talked about, they could have cut it with a knife. Both of them knew that the last time they were in this room was the last time that they had spoken, that JJ had been trying to tell June how he felt and she had run away from him. They both knew it, they were both thinking it, but they never said anything. 

“I think you’re all patched up,” June said finally, the first words spoken since they at down. She stood and smiled at him as best as she could. 

“Your turn,” he said. 

“What?”

“You’ve got a pretty nice shiner there, Jue.” 

“I think I can take care of a shiner, J,” she told him, an easy, teasing tone on her voice. 

But JJ didn’t seem to be joking. 

“Let me take care of you for once.” 

Her playful smile fell. 

“You’ve always taken care of me,” she said. 

JJ lifted his hand toward hers. He hesitated for a moment, recoiling his fingers, before stretching them out again and taking her hand. June stiffened, but JJ finally relaxed. He stood and silently maneuvered her to the side of the bed where he had just been sitting. 

She sat down, breath caught in her throat, heart beating out of control. JJ knelt onto the ground, just as she had been doing and picked up the cream that she had just been lathering his skin with. To get closer to her, he pushed her knees apart just a little, and settled between her legs. June’s throat swelled even tighter, painfully aware of how close to her he was sitting. He pressed gentle, calloused fingers to her cheek, where the skin had split and a bruise was starting to form. 

June winced and he froze, his beautiful blue eyes meeting hers. 

“Did I hurt you?” He asked, words quiet. 

“Never.” 

JJ’s eyes dropped from her eyes to her lips before coming back up. June couldn’t help but do the same. He let his hand lower from her face to rest against her thigh. He was drawn to her, like a moth to a flame and he didn’t care how badly he’d be burned for it. 

June couldn’t help it either. She let her legs spread just enough so he could lean in closer, but she was almost unaware that she was doing it. 

“JJ,” she breathed. 

It was supposed to be a warning, her telling him one last time that this was a mistake. But it came out like begging. She heard in her own voice how desperate she was for his lips against hers, for his heart in her hands. 

She closed the distance between them, pressing her lips against his. She had always imagined his lips would feel scratchy and dry from all the time spent in the salt and the sun. But they were soft. Chapped, but soft. 

She could feel him hesitate and she wondered if she should pull away, but then he leaned into her even further, even harder, knocking her almost off balance and back into the bad. June lifted her hands to her face to keep herself steady, to keep his lips against hers. JJ’s hands were on her hips, pulling her in closer. 

He pounded against her senses like the waves against the shore. He was everywhere. She could taste sea on his tongue. She could smell the sand in his hair. She could hear the raggedness of his breath. She could feel his skin beneath her nails, his hands clawing at her hips. And even with her eyes closed, she could see the man he was kneeling in front of her.

But it was over all too soon. 

JJ pulled away, turning his face to the side. June’s heart dropped into her stomach. She struggled for breath as she watched him. She closed her parted lips, bringing her hand up to her face for just a moment. 

“I-I’m sorry.” June stood and stepped away from him, his hands falling away from her. “I shouldn’t have....I-I’m sorry.” 

She ran a hand through her hair, her cheeks flushed from embarrassment and shame. She’d really done it this time. She’d completely ruined her relationship with one of the people she loved the most. 

June wasn’t sure what to do with herself. She turned toward the door, then back to JJ, wondering if she should grab the cream that was left abandoned beside him, then decided against it and turned back toward the door. 

“It’s not you,” he said, still not looking at her. 

June froze. She glanced at him, but his gaze was fixed on the ground as he sat back. 

“I mean, it is you,” he said again and finally looked at her. 

It was like taking a thousand daggers to the heart. She would have rathered Fred punch her in the face a hundred more times then see the look in his eyes as he said those words. 

“JJ, I-” 

“Because I know that’s not what you want.” JJ pushed himself to his feet, wiping his palms against his jeans. He kept himself where he was, a good few feet away from her. “Maybe it’s something I want, but I know you don’t and I don’t want you to feel like you have to anything you don’t want to.” 

June breathed in deeply through her nose, finally beginning to understand. 

“Maybe...maybe it is what I want.” 

JJ gave his head a slight shake. 

“Don’t say something you don’t mean,” he said.

“I-” She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. “There were so many times I wanted to tell you, but I just couldn’t.” 

“Tell me what, June?” 

From the way he spoke, he already knew what she was going to say. 

“I’m just so scared of losing you.” 

“Tell me what?” 

“It feels like everyone that I...everyone that I love is taken from me. El was almost taken from me today and I-” 

She stopped, letting her eyes find JJ’s. He stood there, his body on edge. As if waiting for her to say one thing, just one thing. She just had to have to courage to say it. 

“I love you, JJ,” she said. “Of course I love you.” 

He took no time crossing the room and closing the distance between them. He put her face in his hands and dipped his head down to capture her lips in his once again. She put her hand over his, rolling forward onto her toes so she could reach him better.

His kisses trailed from her lips across her cheek and to her jaw, lifting her chin ever so gently to nip at the skin of her neck.

“I love you,” he whispered against her skin, sealing it with a kiss. 

June couldn’t help but smile, especially as he returned his lips to hers. 

He knotted his hands in her hair, needing to be consumed by every piece of her. June pulled him closer by his shirt until there was nothing but atoms between them. 

And nothing would separate them again. 

~~~

By the time they got the Heyward’s, everyone else had arrived. Kie filled them in on what she knew and, little as it was, it was enough to keep everyone satisfied. They didn’t ask June questions as she walked through the door, an especially cheery JJ on her heels. John B stood from his chair and wrapped her in a tight hug, holding her for a few seconds. She in turn wrapped her arms around his waist, more than happy to hold her baby brother for a few moments. 

“I swear I’ll kill him,” John B whispered to June as JJ sat around with the others to begin recounting the story. 

“Fred or JJ?” June teased. 

“Depends.” 

John B kept his arm around her shoulders even as she pulled away from the hug to find her daughter. Eleanor was sleeping peacefully in Sarah’s arms, who rocked back and forth and hummed a quiet song. 

“Do you want her?” Sarah asked quietly. 

“You hold her,” June said, settling in beside Sarah. “I can admire from afar.” 

She looked over at JJ, who was half way through his dramatic rendition of him beating Fred’s ass. Pope laughed, Kie scolded, Mrs. Heyward tried not to smile, Mr. Heyward scowled. Sarah kept cooing at baby Eleanor, who didn’t appear disturbed by the commotion going on around her. June tucked her finger into Eleanor’s blanket, feeling her tiny hands grab hold. John B, who sat on the side of the couch, leaned down and pressed a kiss against June’s head. 

“Love you, Junebird,” he whispered. 

“Love you too, Bird,” she replied. 

They say it takes a village to raise a baby. Whoever they are, they might be right. But June didn’t have a large village, an overly wealthy village, or a village of perfect, spotless people. She had just a little village. It was a little broken and a little messed up, but it was her village. 

And she wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: Episode 3

First of all, wow. When I decided to post those online, I was expecting that they would be read by two people, both of whom I personally know. It was in equal part surprising and terrifying that so many of you ventured here. Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it. 

Episode 3 is probably my favourite case. It’s not perfectly strung together, there is little actual investigative work in it, but it’s a beautiful story of boundless love and devotion, which echoes through the relationship between our protagonists

Professor Shen is looking at some materials that are looking suspiciously like research into something supernatural, when Zhang Ruonan makes an appearance at his office, claiming that she is absolutely fine, while clearly being very far away from fine. This is something Shen Wei can certainly relate to, because he is the king of hiding his ailments from others. 

Zhu Hong’s one-sided affection for Zhao Yunlan starts to show already in this episode:  while he has the cold, she nags him to take care of himself, shoves tissues into his hands, and presses him to drink his meds. It’s easy to imagine even this early on that she will be the woman drunk dialling him one day. 

I know this could be seen as straightbaiting, but I honestly thing that the actual purpose it serves in the show is the opposite; I’ll talk more about it when we get there.

Zhao Yunlan spends a lot of this episode in Shen Wei’s office, starting with this scene, in which is obviously flexing. Not only does he sneeze all over the office, he goes to eat Shen Wei’s cake after specifically being told not to eat it.  He also takes his opportunity to mix questioning with flirting, as is his usual way. He keeps eye contact while spooning cake into his mouth, as he explains, jovially, that another mysterious death on his campus cannot possibly be a coincidence. And, to be fair, he is not really wrong. We are meant to believe that this is all set in motion by Zhu Jiu, aka the least scary villain in the history of villainy, and an owner of your staple baby goth wig. I will not mention him again until the plot makes it impossible for me not to do so. 

Zhang Ruonan comes in, and Zhao Yunlan introduces himself as Shen Wei’s good friend. Which is half-way between a flex and an act of kindness. On one hand, he could have said he was from the police - which would be absolutely true - and risk tarnishing the professor’s good name. On the other hand, he could probably look less pleased with himself. Shen Wei, at the very least, looks neither grateful, nor amused. 

Zhao Yunlan asks her if she new the victim and she looks incredibly shifty as she flees. He is right to think that something is up, and he correctly assumes trauma, rather than guilt. We can now start to see that he is very very good at reading people. It must be equal parts thrilling and disconcerting for him to have met something who he decisively cannot read. Shen Wei vouches for the woman, partly, surely, because his Hei Pao Shi sense is tingling, letting him know that someone is eavesdropping. 

Despite feeling uneasy, Shen Wei still offers Guo Changcheng, who is left to collect various paperwork from his desk, a little smile. He has a reason to like Xiao Guo, of course: he was the one to see the young man’s kindness and understanding, and he is already growing protective of him, way before he will start seeing members of the special unit as his people. This reminds me of how many months later, he will subtly, but decisively stop a barrage of verbal abuse against Xiao Guo by dropping a pair of chopsticks. 

Zhao Yunlan is taking Xiao Guo with him on the case rather than anyone else, partly, supposedly, because of Guo Changcheng’s familial connections. The young man looks more sure of himself, asking correct questions, dutifully records answers. He also tries to look after his Chief by asking him to go home and rest. He does phrase it badly, but Zhao Yunlan has a thing against his own health and well-being, so he reacts extra poorly.

Soon after, Zhao Yunlan’s at Shen Wei’s office yet again, as Shen Wei tries his best to ignore him, in the hope that he… well, maybe not goes away, but does not ask him anything that will require him lying. Instead, Zhao Yunlan is asking Shen Wei why he is bad at reading people, which is a very strange thing to ask. Shen Wei answers his question with a question, “Will seeing through people really lessen the hurt and disappointment?” Adding, “Many tragedies were destined from the beginning”. He looks well.. like this as he says it. 

This is loaded. On first glance, it’s a pretty good set-up to the way this story will unfold, as a tragedy of two individuals who let their devotion to each other nearly ruin each other’s life. A fragile human and a dangerous powered Undergroundian: what else is that, but a tragedy, waiting to happen? But this story - this one right in front of us - will not end tragically, at least not for the two people it enters around. It could do so, but it will not. Maybe, this truly is the first hint that this entire narrative, so carefully set up from the very first time Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei meet, is destined to be a tragedy. Moreover, that it must be one, for some cosmic reason. 

(… I apologise while I go have a little cry in the corner. Damn you, Guardian, why do you make me hurt so much?)

Da Qing inexplicably morphs from black cat to a human in white t-shirt while doing night shadowing, and promptly falls asleep on patrol. Why is he being sent to stake anyone out? He is least suitable for it.  He is literally a cat. He sleeps 16 hours a day. 

Surprisingly, when pressed, Zhang Ruonan comes clean very easily, revealing that she was a victim of the three students she failed (two of which are already dead and one one standing right next to them), who lured her out at night, which left her vulnerable to be attacked. Zhao Yunlan listens to this story, and instead of… oh I don’t know, perhaps asking her the identity of the third student, leaves to go find that out for himself. It is heavily implied that he does it on purpose, which is definitely not okay.  

Moreover, he goes and... asks Shen Wei. This makes me suspect that he’s not really thinking with his head at this point. As he does so, he is brandishing a letter opener. 

Shen Wei is looking even less impressed with him than he did during their last few conversations. 

Zhao Yunlan is a little bit flippant when it comes to students’ lives this episode. And yes, they have done something really quite horrible to another human being, but that's not a very good excuse to let the last of them just die. As it happens, the situation Yunlan created - perhaps on purpose - did lure out Zhao Ruonan’s murder girlfriend, but it also cost a student his life. Which is far from ideal, but is somehow never even mentioned. Instead of being aghast, he sits on the table as he goes into full interrogation mode. (As he will continue to do a lot. Sometimes he crouches on tables instead. There is no further point here, apart from: I like this character quirk. It’s a nice character quirk.)

He brings some of his team in at this point, and asks Zhu Hong to continue interrogation. It would be a nice gesture is he did not interject two questions in. 

“How do you regard your relationship with Wang Yike?”

“We are family.”

They are definitely, decisively not going for sisterly bond here. Which is kind of incredible. This is one of the moments the amorphous being that show is looks at the censors, wiggles its battered low budget eyebrows at them, and then proceeds to flip them off. Well done, Guardian. 

Wang Yike calls Zhang Ruonan, saying there is one more victim she needs to take care of, and Lin Jing traces the call back to campus. Zhao Yunlan, who did not even bat an eyelid at a dead student earlier, now looks decisively worried  

“Oh no. Professor Shen.” 

The only reason Shen Wei is attacked is jealousy. Wang Yike does not know this of course, but trying to kill him is a bad move, because a) he has long ago given his heart away, and is definitely not interested; b) this is probably the only thing she could do to make the man on the case very very upset; c) Shen Wei’s immune to her powers. 

“Someone like you will never understand what she means to me!” Wang Yike shouts eventually. “As long as I can protect her, my life has worth!” And, even as Wang Yike has no way of knowing it, these are the words that ultimately save both her and her loved one. Because Shen Wei does in fact understand what Zhang Ruonan means to her. His own endless and ultimately self-destructive devotion is his main driving force.

Shen Wei pretends to be hurt, again, which earns him a half-hug from the object of his devotion. If Zhao Yunlan does notice that Shen Wei should really come out of this attack grey haired and dead, and not just mildly inconvenienced, he chooses not to say anything. 

Worried about her murder girlfriend, Zhang Ruonan rushes in and accidentally touches her. Zhao Yunlan Freaks The Hell Out. Shen Wei does, too, but in his own, reserved, way. They are both emotionally invested in those two people, although for very different reasons: Shen Wei is acutely feeling resonance of his own past in their story, and Zhao Yunlan, I think, wants to fix it, he wants to be able to make it better. Instead, Shen Wei fixes it for him, turning the tide on this tragedy, and giving it a happy ending. He heals Zhang Ruonan right in front of the officers of SID, albeit with much subtlety. (“Have someone saved her right under our noses?” Zhu Hong will snort the very same evening, and she will be 100% correct.)

Shen Wei also lets Wang Yike go despite the undeniable fact that she did kill three people. Here, he is looking at the picture of this human/Undergroundian couple, surviving despite all odds, and touches his only reminder that Kunlun really was in his life. 

He then burns the picture as the only evidence that Wang Yike was not punished by him for her crimes. 

In the end, Guo Chengcheng is making first of his many diary notes about the events, recounting a conversation between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan we had not witnessed, in which Shen Wei mentioned a relationship based on devotion that can last a thousand years, and Zhao Yunlan called such a relationship “guarding”. Finally, Guo Changcheng hopes that he can become a guardian of all. 

And this is making me think that this absolutely should be a set-up for him becoming a wick of the guardian lantern, as per every single other decision that was made prior to the last two episodes. Right? This is a perfect foreshadowing, and mentioning it here, so early in the show would not make any sense if it were a deliberate subversion. So, was Guo Changcheng meant to become the wick after all before... what, some rewrites happened? What made the final episode be what it was in the end?

(This is a genuine question by that way, if anyone has any insight on the matter.)

The episode would end here, if this was a western show, with a familiar monster of the week structure, but it does not. At least, the way it ends is reminiscent of a cliffhanger, with Zhao Yunlan catching Shen Wei in a middle of a crime scene, and looking betrayed. 

Next episode: Lynchian Nightmare, aka people without faces. 

PS.

I did not have a seamless way to stick this in anywhere but... Shen Wei’s technological ineptness at the max: he does not know how to use a Polaroid camera. Help him, he is so lost.

——

Second point of housekeeping to say a few things: 

I don’t think I will be consistent with certain things being transliterated versus translated. I am more likely to use Hei Pao Shi rather than Black Cloak Envoy (because the later reminds me of Tuxedo Mask, which makes me inwardly giggle every time) but at the same time I am also more likely to use Underground/Undergroundian rather than Dixing/Dixingren. I am more likely to use Xiao rather than Little, but have called Chu Old rather than Lao before. I hope that’s not grating, but do tell me if it is

My recaps are Shen Wei-heavy. I have no real explanation for this, apart from.. I like Shen Wei. 

I realise that there will definitely be things here that are head canon and speculation rather than flat observations; this show is a work of fiction and a work of art, which cannot be interpreted objectively. If you have alternate takes on anything I write in the future, let me know! 

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 256 “Tokushirou’s number one”

So we get a new chapter in which…

…yeah, Usami gets friendzones but as he’s happy about it and honestly, his relationship with Tsurumi wasn’t what I would call normal.... well, I guess this is all well and good.

So we resume from where we started.

After Usami got shoot by Ogata’s bullet he falls back and right down the stairs while Ogata gets a clip of bullets and recharges his rifle as fast as he can.

However, by the time he can approach the stairs and shoot again Usami has understood he has lost the upper hand and had escaped, leaving a trail of blood behind himself.

Usami’s wound his serious, as he’s bleeding profusely, panting and sweating and looking fatigued. Evidently Ogata has hit a blood vessel.

Knowing this could kill him and that he’s no more in shape to face Ogata, Usami decides he doesn’t have anymore the time to worry about Hyakunosuke (yes, he still calls him just by name, I wonder what kind of relation they used to have before all this mess) and that he has to hurry pass the skins and the info he collected to Tsurumi.

It took him a bullet that almost killed him to rearrange his priorities and understand his petty grudges weren’t so relevant after all.

Meanwhile, outside, Ueji is giving the firefighters hell by tugging the water pump and causing one to risk falling from the stairs. He also has knocked unconscious a firefighter and then begins to climb on their stairs, confusing all the remaining firefighters.

I guess the firefighters are really devoted to save lives so they couldn’t start waving those stairs really hard when he’s high enough and cause him to crash on the ground, possibly where the fire is. Pity.

Back to Usami, he has left the building and has spotted one of the carriages of the firefighters, and, more importantly, the horses attached to it which would grant him a fast escape.

At the same time we see again a scene from chap 255, the one in which Sugimoto tosses Ostrog off a window, remarking than rather than worrying about who gave birth to him he should have worried about what he lived for. This means this scene is happening at the same time as that one but it’s also a veiled remark to Usami who has dismissed Ogata as the mere son of a prostitute and ended up getting shoot by him… though I’ll say more than worrying about what Ogata lived for he should have worried about what Ogata could do.

But whatever, let’s go on.

Sugimoto tosses Ostrog out of the window, Ogata notices him falling and, below him, Usami running away on a horse.

I’m surprised Ushiyama, who was right below that window, didn’t seem to notice Usami because it’s true he was turned toward the building but he should have heard the horse running but whatever, it’s not relevant.

Ogata aims at Usami, saying that if Usami is really concerned about being or not a cheap piece he can discover the truth watching Tsurumi’s expression at his funeral.

Now, Noda does a really clever thing here.

With a clever trick of panels seems to depict Ogata as having a chance to shoot Sugimoto through the window.

Maybe he does. Maybe he does not.

Actually not only it’s unclear if Ogata could see Sugimoto as the inside of the place isn’t exactly well light but Sugimoto has moved away already from the broken window and is near the close window above Usami.

Now… there’s something that puzzles me though and that is how, when Ogata shoot, Usami wasn’t visible anymore, as if he had already turned the corner, something that’s easily noticeable when we place the panel prior to Ogata shooting that was on page 8 and the panel in which Ogata shoots on page 9.

See? Usami has turned the corner and therefore is not visible anymore.

This makes me wonder if it’s possible Ogata’s bullet actually hit him because it went through the broken window and then out of the closed window (the one near which Sugimoto was standing) and, from it, through Usami.

This would mean that the panels showing the windows above Usami and near which Sugimoto is don’t actually aim to draw our attention on Sugimoto, who’s actually leaving the frame but on the window at which Ogata is, visible through it.

This would be an hellishly impressive shoot because Ogata basically hit Usami without even seeing him (or even more impressive if he could actually see him through those two windows), and what’s worse would alert Sugimoto of Ogata’s position there.

I doubt Sugimoto would realize Ogata shoot Usami and not him which probably would send him in another drunken rampage as we shouldn’t forget Sugimoto is drunk.

I’m not sure though, the scene will be probably cleared up in the next chapter.

Anyway Ogata’s bullet hits Usami perfectly. I think it went through his spine as Usami falls from the horse like a broken doll, his legs completely limp.

Luckily for him he falls in Tsurumi’s arms as Tsurumi coincidentally got there right in that moment, allowing Usami to see his beloved first lieutenant for his last few moments.

Meanwhile Ogata, who has no doubts he had hit the mark, has moved away from the window and thanking Usami as he believed killing Usami completed him as a sniper. As he says so he removes the bandages that were covering his face to reveal… not a scar or an empty eye socked but a new right eye. It immediately turns out it’s a glass one though, as it escapes his eye socket.

I guess Hijikata paid for it as Ogata seemed to be bankrupted when he got in Hokkaido. Ogata, still in a great mood, grabs it and will likely place it back.

I guess he wore the bandages as a personal way to tell himself he was an incomplete sniper and now that he feels he’s complete he removed them.

To all whose who wondered yes, it’s possible to remove an eye without leaving a huge scar as it’s easy enough to pop out an eye from its socket. I don’t encourage you to try doing it though.

Back to Usami he hands out the copy he stole to Kadokura and tries to say something to Tsurumi about Kadokura.

I’m not sure if he manages and we just don’t get to hear it or Tsurumi cut him out. We’ll see.

Tsurumi, slipping into the Niigata dialect, praises him (Tsurumi and Usami are both from Niigata). It’s worth to mention that vol 23 changed all the dialogues in the Tsurumi/Usami flashback so that the two of them were always talking in Niigata dialect. This, along with the ironic fact that vol 23 got Usami on its cover, ties this chapter to that flashback and explains the conclusion of their story.

At the praise Usami raises his hand toward Tsurumi, placing his little finger against his mouth. Tsurumi takes it in and bites it off.

It’s the second time Tsurumi bites off a finger, the first being with Wada but, back then he spat it in Wada’s face (is Noda also about to bring back Wada’s death into the plot?).

Now instead he implied he swallowed it (although no swallowing sound onomatopoeia is present) claiming this way the two of them will be together forever and that, like this ‘Tokishige-kun’ will live inside him forever (Tokishige-kun being how Tsurumi used to call him in the flashback) as his number one… friend.

‘Kore de watashitachi ha issho-ra suke. Tokishige-kun wa watashi no naka de ichiban no tomo to shite iki tsudzuken dare.’

これで私たちは一緒らすけ。時重くんは私の中で一番の友として生き続けんだれ

“With this we're together. Tokishige-kun will continue to live in me as my number 1 friend.”

So yeah, Usami has been deeply friendzoned.

Well, actually ‘tomo’ (友) can also mean “companion”, “comrade” and, interesting enough, it seems that the word ‘uruwashiki tomo’ (麗しき友 “beautiful friend”) was speculated to refer to an homosexual relation in the past (though it’s currently not sure) so the word ‘tomo’ could give the impression of being something more than a friend to a Japanese person.

But whatever, I honestly don’t think Tsurumi had romantic feelings for Usami, he’s just using pretty words to put him at ease in his last moments.

Usami relies in the romance of the moment saying it makes him so happy he’s going to cum… because Usami is a man who knows what to do in romantic moments… as he does so he calls Tsurumi just ‘Tokushirou-san’ (篤四郎さん) as he used to do in the flashback.

Tsurumi than takes the pose of the ‘Pietà’ (“Piety”; 1498–1499), a work of Renaissance sculpture by Michelangelo Buonarroti, housed in St. Peter's Basilica, Vatican City (which is beautiful but even more awesome up close, I can confirm as I went to see it and I recommend everyone to do the same), taking for himself the pose of the Virgin Mary while Usami is meant to be Jesus.

Please, let me shudder in horror at the idea… although Tsurumi likes to present himself as the Virgin which is highly ironic considering the whole discussion about immaculate conception taking place in the previous chapters. Is this Noda’s way to say that in a way it’s Tsurumi who gave birth to the Usami we know?

Does Tsurumi genuinely mourn Usami, whom he, after all, knew from when Usami was a child, in a time in which Tsurumi possibly was more emotionally stable?

In short, is Usami more than a cheap piece, as he longed for or Usami is feeding him another of his sweet lies because he has his men around and they’ve to think he cares about them?

Everything is possible as we should remember there’s another little finger Tsurumi took, and that one is the little finger of his wife. He apparently didn’t ate it but kept it with himself and she and little Olga are depicted as the reason why he became the way he is. So if he wanted to be one with someone I would expect him to wish to be one with them.

On another side, Japanese at the time differentiated the relationship they had with their wife with the relationship they could have with their male ‘friends’ so maybe Tsurumi might want to keep both.

I don’t know but I’m honestly skeptical about Tsurumi genuinely caring for Usami and it’s interesting how the last panel shows Tsurumi’s face completely in the dark as he moves close to Usami’s face, which is not smiling anymore. Is Usami dead already or he can still see? We’ll probably discover in the next chapter as Ueji interrupt the scene.

He managed to climb up a tall chimney and is calling everyone’s attention on himself… which would make this the perfect moment to shoot him. Ogata please, if you would? Vasily, you too, do something useful, please.

Anyway the chapter ends here.

Some last words of the pinky eating scene.

In Japanese the pinky is ‘koyubi’ (小指) the “little finger” and it’s a finger with interesting meanings.

The Japanese raises it to mean they’re talking about their girlfriend for example.

You’re probably also familiar with ‘Yubitsume’ (指詰め "finger shortening"), the Japanese ritual to atone for offenses to another, a way to be punished or to show sincere apology and remorse to another, by means of amputating portions of one's own little finger. That’s because the little finger was important in order to keep a good grip on the katana so losing it or part of it was a considerable weakness.

You might have heard also of ‘yubikiri’ (指切り, "finger cut-off"), the Japanese version of pinky swearing, often additionally confirmed with the vow ‘Yubikiri genman, uso tsuitara hari senbon nomasu’ (指切り拳万、嘘ついたら針千本呑ます “Finger cut-off, ten thousand fist-punchings, whoever lies has to swallow a thousand needles.”).

There are also sources that suggest the term pinky swear traces its history back to the early 1600s to mid-1800s. During this time, prostitutes were rumored to cut off their pinkies to give to customers they like. This grand yet bloody gesture signifies that they have developed affections for the customer and are willing to take their lives for them… which would basically compare Usami to a prostitute.

But there’s also a more romantic meaning to the pinky and that’s that how the ‘unmei no akaī ito’ (運命の赤い糸 “red thread of fate”) which is supposed to be an invisible red cord tied around the finger of those that are destined to meet one another in a certain situation as they are “their true love” is meant to be tied to the pinky.

You’ve probably read the notes the scanlators put at the end of the chapter so you are aware already of what ‘Honekami’ (骨噛み “Chewing the bone”) is and how it was practiced in Niigata. Now you also know why Usami might have wanted to encourage Tsurumi to bite away that particular finger and it wasn’t just a coincidental choice... and why being friendzoned might not feel so bad to him.

Well, that’s all for the chapter.

In the next we will probably discover what Ueji has to say, if Ogata really shoot Usami through the window Sugimoto was near to and therefore got his full attention and maybe if Tsurumi really cared for Usami and if Usami managed to deliver Kadokura’s secret… or if Ogata will discover it.

We’ll see.

Anyway with this chapter Usami leaves the cast.

He’s the third relevant character to leave the cast, after Kiroranke and Ienaga.

While he didn’t grow up to be a good person, but he actually went uninged as Ostrog, in a way I’m still sad for the little kid with light in his eyes that didn’t get to grow up as a normal person but got so wrapped up in his crush for Tsurumi he ended up murdering his best friend in jealous rage and then never managed to recover his mental sanity. Usami never managed to let go of his obsession, he only became worse.

It’s sad exactly because it could happen and it ruins a life forever.

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

Carla’s CL Route: A Shin Fan’s Thoughts and Feelings

I have such mixed feelings on this route but I’m going to try and relay them as articulately as I can. Obligatory warning, this post contains massive spoilers for CL (mainly Carla’s route but i’m going to mention some of the other routes too). Now without further ado:

Before I delve into any of the issues I had with this route, let’s start with what I liked. Firstly, I think it’s safe to say that Carla hands down deals with the situation the best after he gets his memories back compared to the other routes I’ve played (Shin’s, Shu’s and Laito’s) and I would be very surprised if any of the other characters are able to handle things as well as he did (although admittedly that’s partly because he’s just so much more powerful than everyone else). I did like that the writers were able to show off how capable he can be, while still bringing up stuff like how it isn’t good at cleaning or cooking.

I liked the plot point about Carla being able to live without Endzeit if they stayed in the miniature garden as I thought it was an interesting concept.

I found it very interesting that Subaru was the only other character to regain his memories in this route, especially given that Carla actually played a role in his LE route which wasn’t the case for any of the other Sakamaki brothers in LE. I can’t help but wonder if the writers have them as a brotp when considering that they were also paired together in the Versus IV CDs. Regardless, I did enjoy seeing their interactions in Carla’s CL route.

The scenes between Carla and Yui after Carla gets his memory back are great and I’m sure Carla fans will have a field day with them.

Now, lets move onto to the issues I personally have with this route.

Because Carla is shown to be so capable, I never really felt fearful for the characters. In contrast, in Shin, Shu and Laito’s routes they all had moments of genuine peril outside of the bad endings, which meant I felt really concerned and was drawn into the story. Carla’s route however, went something like this: Oh no, how are they going to deal with this unexpected development? Ah wait, he solved it in an instant, as expected of Carla I suppose. Oh no, how are they going to deal with this other unexpected situation? Ah no nevermind, he dealt with it right away again... and so on.

This might just be personal preference, but in my opinion if you really want people to get invested in a story, there needs to be some element of risk for the characters (even if you know there’s going to be a good ending). If you take that away, even though the fluffy bits with Carla and Yui were lovely, every time we got to one of the more plot-orientated parts of the story, I’d start to get invested only for there to be no pay off as there never really seemed to be much of a problem in the first place. This is why you have to be a bit careful when coming up with characters to make sure that they have some sort of weakness, otherwise the audience knows they’re going to be fine whatever.

Yes Carla is undoubtedly the strongest of the boys when Karl’s powers aren’t involved (and especially when Endzeit is removed from the picture) but I still feel like there should have been something. We came a little close with Shin getting close to being killed by the Scarlet family but Carla took care of it so easily that it just felt a bit... I don’t know, flat maybe?

And now onto my biggest bugbear of the route: how they handled things with Shin. 

First things first, I am fully aware that I am incredibly biased here and Carla fans, you may see no issues with this route at all and honestly, good on you, I’m glad you enjoyed it, but hopefully after the end of this post you’ll at least understand why I was a little upset.

Things started off really well on this front, I loved the scene where Carla starts to remember things, Shin cuts his arm and then says that seeing Carla kneeling in front of him makes him feel frustrated for some reason. I was pleased when Carla and Yui went to rescue Shin (and by extension Ruki) when they were being attacked by the Scarlet family and the angst when Carla and Yui saw Shin treating Ruki as his big brother. But it then just... went nowhere (well in the Euphoria ending anyway, I’ll get onto that Labyrinth ending later).

The writers threw in some token lines from Shin in chapter 15 sure, but did he get his memories back before they returned to the real world? No. Did we get any sort of scene between Shin and Carla after Shin had gotten his memories back? No. In the route to achieve the Euphoria ending could Shin have stopped existing from about chapter 12 onwards and it wouldn’t have changed anything? Honestly, yes. 

I genuinely don’t think this would have bothered me so much had it not been for two things: 1) how much of a big deal trying to return Carla’s memories was in Shin’s route (although I would never have really expected anything else) and 2) the fact that all of this Shin and Carla angst was dangled in front of my nose only for there to be no pay off whatsoever.

I know this route is meant to ultimately be about Carla and Yui, not Carla and Shin’s brotherly relationship but I can’t help but feel cheated that the little Carla and Shin content we did get never amounted to anything. There was no heated discussion/argument between the two of them, there was no exciting climax where Shin tried to kill Carla because he still had his fake memories. Hell, we didn’t even get a token scene at the end where the brothers finally both had their memories back; Shin was unconscious for the conversation with Socrates and then he never comes up again.

My main point here is that I don’t think it was a good decision to include all these bits about Shin being important to Carla and then to not do anything with it in the climax of the good ending.

I acknowledge that there was no big climax in Laito’s route with the triplets either but at the very least Kanato and Ayato got their memories back and made sure that Shu and Reiji didn’t kill Subaru while Laito and Yui were trying to find a way out of the miniature garden. Shin didn’t even do that much.

Now as for labyrinth ending, oh boy where do I even begin. Putting aside the fact that Shin getting infected with Endzeit is literally the one thing I never want to happen in the franchise, I wasn’t a fan of it at all. Part of my reason for not being a fan of this ending comes back to my point about Shin playing such a small role in the Euphoria ending version of chapter 15 that he could have been replaced by a mop and I don’t think anyone would have noticed. 

However my biggest issue is that we get no information on what’s actually happened to him in that ending.

For anyone unfamiliar with that ending, in the Labyrinth version of chapter 15 Shin tries to kill Yui before they reach the church (as he still hasn’t got his memories back) but Carla protects her and gets stabbed. Shin gets covered in Carla’s blood and because his wounds from earlier in the route haven’t healed yet, they suspect he’s gotten infect with Endzeit. As a result, Yui and Carla decide to stay in the miniature garden where time is effectively frozen rather than return to the real world and have Shin potentially die from Endzeit.

The actual ending is just Yui and Carla talking about whether they’ve made the right decision. They say Shin hasn’t shown any signs of Endzeit but did he get his memory back? Are they just keeping him locked in the dungeons so he doesn’t try to murder them both? Who knows.

I can’t help but feel that it was very unfair to have Shin used as a bad ending plot device and then cut him out of that ending too. 

Also I am calling complete bullshit on that line about Carla being able to suppress his symptoms. I get that Rejet are probably trying to hint to his DF ending where Yui’s blood is magically able to hold off Endzeit symptoms (which was retconed for LE but might be thing again now apparently?) but then why was there any hesitation from Yui over going back to the real world versus staying with Carla in the minature garden??? Like this makes no sense at all. Either Carla is dying from Endzeit or he isn’t, you can’t pick and choose within the route itself depending on what’s convenient.

Anyway I’m starting to rant which isn’t good, so I’ll bring an end to this post here. 

Do I think the route has its good points? Yes, absolutely, I think Carla fans who enjoy his softer side will have a great time playing it. Do I personally have some very specific problems with it which are likely related to the identity of my favorite character? Again, yes.

Anyway I’d be interested to know if anyone agrees with me or if I am just a Shin-obsessed mad woman. I’m going to go and listen to one of Shin’s drama CDs or something while I go and calm down. Hope you’re having a good day and thanks for reading :)

[ikuzeminna]

Why I love Gundam Wing and hate Frozen Teardrop

With Frozen Teardrop being the first new thing released in the Gundam Wing universe in ages, I feel I should make my stance on it clear, seeing as I’ve read (and by now thankfully forgotten) a large chunk of it.

So, what do I like about Gundam Wing? I can say without lying, almost everything. I like the story, the characters, the themes, the designs and the music. I like its humor, its subtlety, the fact that everyone plays a role and that there's no definite bad guy (nor good one for that matter). I like its dynamics and how you can view it any way you want, e.g. the Gundam pilots being heroes or plain murderers. And I like that you can and even must dig to understand things. The whole composition really works for me.

And what's best is that this entire composition makes Gundam Wing more; it makes it unique. I grew up with classics like Dragonball and Sailor Moon, the forefathers of the 'Idiot Hero' archetype for both males and females. Even to this day you see series featuring these types of main characters. Classic scenario of a naive yet pure kid growing up to become the savior of the world. We've all seen that.

It's why Gundam Wing is so special to me. It has a completely atypical setup and there's absolutely no stereotype I can apply to any character, no matter what TV Tropes may say. Heero is hardly your typical hero, is he? Heck, Heero is hardly a typical anything. What's more, Gundam Wing doesn't follow the 'growing stronger' plotline that, for example, the original MS Gundam or Seed series used. No, Gundam Wing starts out with fully trained soldiers who can kick your butt from episode 1 and will kill you without qualms if the situation requires it. (That's not to say that the characters don't grow, it's the physical growth and capabilities I'm talking about.) What's truly surprising about that is the age of the characters. This is another important point. Gundam Wing and realism. Many times I hear that GW is realistic. I'm sorry but no. Teens fighting against armies isn't realistic. Teens leading said armies isn't either. Neither is bending steel bars, nor surviving jumping off cliffs or blowing up your suit, nor successfully back-flipping from a motorbike onto a clothesline, nor becoming the Queen of the World as a teen, nor stealing a MS carrier plus suit at the age of ten, nor walking around with bazookas at the age of ten nor what have you. It's safe to say that Gundam Wing lacks any sense of realism. But it does not lack logic.

Realism never was Gundam Wing's aim to begin with. The way I see it, it's not just the plot or circumstances that prove this, but also the "inhumanity" of the characters. Would a real person with a similar background as Heero, Duo or Trowa really exhibit such selflessness or noble-mindedness as them and risk his life for strangers by fighting a war that could end in their death? I don't think so. Would anyone as sheltered as Relena give up her lifestyle, have the guts to go against the world's armed rulers with just words and put her life on the line for the sake of others? Hard to believe.

And that's it. One of the things that contributes to Gundam Wing's uniquity and is therefore a, if not the, defining trait of the series, is that it doesn't tell the story about angst-riddled terrorists and princesses, but a tale of heroes. The characters are ridiculously noble, strong, selfless, courageous, determined, make the impossible possible and still retain a certain purity, despite having gone through hell and back. It's what makes them so awesome. It's what makes the series so awesome. Duo isn't badass because he fights in the war. He's badass because he fights "so that no one else will have to" and when you see what he went through, you can only say "wow". Lady Une killed Relena's father and when Relena is given the opportunity to take revenge, she declines, saying there's been enough bloodshed. That's role model material there. Something that is sorely lacking in a lot of shows nowadays. And something that a lot of people seem to miss the point of (I'm referring to those that call the pilots wussies for not killing in EW).

All of this is the reason I hate Frozen Teardrop with a passion. Forget the nonsensical, recycled plot or the billion clones of everyone or the terrible mobile suit names like Snow White or Merciless Fairies. Forget Treize getting French’d by his mom or the Zero System being a digital cat or Relena’s grandfather being a disgusting ephebophile. That stuff is messed up and random and dumb and I have no idea what was wrong with the author at the time to write this.

It’s also that he completely destroys the essence of the original series, making every single characters whine about some drama and the never ending “woe is me” monologue I had to wade through every chapter.

Let’s take Duo, for example. He woke up one morning and decided to become an irresponsible, gold-digging bastard. To get Hilde’s money, he agreed to her terms to cut his braid off and get a “proper” name, just to buy himself a motorbike with their joined assets. Then he inherited a church plus orphanage, which Hilde got stuck with, too, being his wife, and when she asked him how to fund the orphanage, Sumizawa wants me to believe that Duo freaking Maxwell was just “Eh, whatever, leave them to it. I’m out” before taking off? Excuse me, what???

I’ve had discussions with people about this and there were statements that maybe more people just need to learn how actual manic depressives and people with PTSD act in relation to Duo's development in Frozen Teardrop. I've noticed a tendency for people to want to apply realism to Gundam Wing, especially in fanfics, but as I said before, Gundam Wing and realism don't have anything to do with each other. So why should I apply it?

What I expect from anything featuring Gundam Wing's characters is the same "heroic" behavior that was displayed in the series. Sure, the pilots each had a mental burden to carry but it wasn't what defined them. For example, Trowa's insecurity about not having a name or yearning for a home never became the main focus unlike his endless selflessness. And Heero's bitterness about the colonies' betrayal was well hidden under his joining the Treize faction to be able to keep retaliating against OZ. A noble deed to fight on but was it really necessary for him to go for the missions with the lowest chance of survival?

As I said, Gundam Wing is unique because it is atypical. That encompasses pretty much everything; you have bloody murderers in the role of the 'heroes', noble, honorable 'bad guys' who value life and the ever flashy Gundams that can't even begin to compare to non-flashy Relena's influence and importance to the plot. So why on earth should I go along with Duo and Wufei bickering like kids, like characters from five million other series do? I want my uniquity. I'm not saying that it isn't a possible outcome for Duo and Wufei to become bitter and bicker and argue and not be able to stand each other when they become adults. But considering those two could get along splendidly, it's a letdown. Duo and Wufei are very much alike; they both lost people important to them twice, they both fight partly out of revenge and their loss has had the biggest impact on shaping them into what they are in the series, unlike the other pilots. Heck, they both wear their respective culture's colors for mourning. Despite that, their personalities (or ways of dealing) are exact opposites. It's enough to make for a more interesting relationship dynamic between them than what was done in Frozen Teardrop and a lot of Gundam Wing fanfics.

Heero's regression is the same. He was frozen because J said something to the extent of "a guy like him would be needed in the future". How J is even alive is another point of unnecessary addition. But what would a guy like Heero be needed for? Killing, apparently.

Way to ignore the ending of Endless Waltz.

I guess it's partly my wish for Heero and everyone else to live a well-deserved 'happily ever after' which makes me have such a knee jerk reaction to all the drama. That and the fact that there was nowhere near as much drama in Gundam Wing. Nor sap, nor stereotyping, nor "realism". >_>

This grated on my nerves, which was why I dropped Frozen Teardrop like a hot potato and haven’t bothered since. This novel does not only fail on a general level with all the random, messed up crap and terrible pacing, it also fails to satisfy the Gundam Wing fan in me because Sumizawa, the very head writer of the show, also ignored major character traits on top of everything else. Why would Catherine, who stated that she hates war and did everything she could to keep Trowa from fighting, train his clone to become a soldier? Why would Duo become that deadbeat I described above?

Being the sole writer of Frozen Teardrop meant he could take as many creative liberties as he wanted. But in the end, he took too many, which in turn resulted in so many inconsistencies with the series that Frozen Teardrop now takes place in an alternate universe, in which not the series but the manga Glory of Losers takes place. Which is the sole reason I’m not bothered by Frozen Teardrop’s existence anymore.

There were some good passages in the novel, it wasn’t all bad. The battles with the new characters were exciting at times, I’ll be honest, but even those couldn’t be called genuinely good because of the carbon copies deal. There is always some blemish. Like Heero’s proposal to Relena. I’ve seen fans of the pairing rejoice at the scene. Alas, I’m not one of them because frankly, the characters in the novel hardly resemble the original ones. So I don’t care.

As the head writer of the show I had expected him to treat the source material with more care and not run it over with retcons and meaningless additions. Best example being everything surrounding Odin. The world could've definitely done without him being Heero's father. Or freaking Trant being related to him.

But again, alternate universe so who cares.

[therewrites]

We Are Who We Are Overall Thoughts *spoilers*

This review will be discussing briefly some of the episodes so far, so SPOILERS

So I started watching the HBO original series, We Are Who We Are, and I am conflicted. When I initially watched it, the dialogue made it hard for me to enjoy it so I stopped. Then after a couple of weeks after its airing, I thought, what the hell? And this time, I was pleasantly surprised. I always maintain the belief that pilot episodes are either boring, messy, or just bad so I try to push past it in order to get to the good shit. The pilot for We Are Who We Are was...I’m not sure how to explain...different? It certainly wasn’t bad and it made an impression on me, but this show as a whole is hard to limit by just a few words. It’s really something that you should watch and experience yourself.

It was only after the first 3 episodes that I began to understand the tone and mood that Luca Guadagnino was trying to convey. A lot of the time, the dialogue is abrupt and choppy and can make no sense. It can be frustrating, especially when you have two characters that aren’t communicating effectively. But I think that was the point. Guadagnino is a very realistic director, he captures the most realistic elements in a film. A lot of the conversations between characters is meant to emulate real life. Like, what the hell do you say when a conversation becomes awkward? Well, nothing sometimes.

While Guadagnino’s typical cinematography may suggest whimsy, in WAWWA’s case the small structured and synthetic model of the military base is juxtaposed to the very concrete characters. When I started to view the show less as simply a televised airing of fictional characters and problems, and instead looked at them as people, I began to really enjoy it. 

Take the main character of Fraser, played by Jack Dylan Grazer. Fraser is meant to be seen as an extremely complex and troubled kid, but the difference between him and every other teen in a coming-of-age drama is that he isn’t polished. His drinking and drug habit isn’t framed as romantic or beautiful, in fact most of the time it’s portrayed as his weakness of sorts. In the first episode, Fraser has one of his mothers drive him home after getting pretty wasted and Luca graces us with a direct shot of him throwing up. And before that, Fraser is stumbling on a bridge when he drunkenly falls and cuts his face. Everything the character does is messy, uncoordinated, yet extremely real and relatable. Hell, in one shot you can clearly see him do a Naruto run!

Caitlin/Harper is a character that I enjoyed watching, as well. Jordan Seamon did a fantastic job and I really connected with their character. Initially we see Caitlin as this mysterious girl, and in the pilot we are meant to assume that their relationship with Fraser is supposed to develop into a romantic one. This is not the case as it seems that Caitlin is trying to come to terms with who they are. The biggest shift in Caitlin’s character isn’t their friendship with Fraser but probably when they get their period. 

This was a moment that even I related to, even though I am cis when I first got my period I didn’t tell my mom until the day after. The possible confusion and shift in their reality that Caitlin felt was only heightened with the conflict of their boyfriend wanting to be more physically intimate, and Fraser’s eventual discover of Harper. I would have like to see exactly why Fraser seemed drawn to Caitlin. I’m assuming viewers were supposed to think that Fraser is attracted to her, or something. But both Caitlin/Harper and Fraser are queer coded and their respective sexualities are alluded to not being straight. It would’ve made their standing as platonic friends more clear if this had been established stronger. 

I definitely think the writer could have devoted more time to giving certain characters proper conversations. It would’ve given more development to certain characters and better context for things. However even without that, there is a lot that the audience is showed that can’t be told through dialogue. The power struggle between Sarah and Richard being one. So far, there hasn’t been any explanation as to why they have a such a volatile relationship other than Richard being a homophobe. 

Through deeper inspection, I was able to interpret it as: Richard may heavily resent the fact the Sarah was promoted to Colonel and not him. It is never made clear who has the better credentials, Sarah or Richard, but assuming that she was the one promoted it is a safe guess. This may be highlighted by the fact that Sarah is a women, and also gay. Even before episode 7, it was clear that Richard did not respect her authority. I also interpreted it as Richard being upset that and openly gay women was promoted instead of him, a black man. 

Of course this is just based on my own personal knowledge of how the U.S. military can be towards people of color and LGBTQ+. Regardless, the competitive tension between two parents is palpable without needing dialogue to explain.  

When conflict happens, I can kind of figure out which characters are going to react and which one’s will stay silent. I think the show is trying to accomplish a drastically realistic and raw series. It took me while to adjust to it, but by maybe the 2nd or 3rd episode, it starts to grow on you. Despite not liking a good majority of the characters, I was very surprised by how invested I was in them. 

Like, Danny is my least favorite character because he displays very abusive and explosive tendencies, and doesn’t seem to care about the world around him. However, getting glimpses into his character and seeing how Richard ignores him for Caitlin/Harper, his suicidal thoughts, and how he is trying to reclaim his cultural and religious background makes me empathize with him. 

Even though I hate his character, I can see that he is struggling. I appreciate the way that this show freely shows dark skinned black boys dealing with mental health issues, and personal development. Rarely are issues like suicide talked about in the black community, so seeing Danny talk about it and Craig offering(admittedly poor)comfort was touching. This is a general vibe that I get from nearly all the characters on WAWWA. I also appreciated the how Danny is actively trying to convert to Islam. In shows, rarely is Islam ever portrayed in a positive manner. Especially when female characters are shown to be struggling with their religion, Islam is shown as this barrier that prevents them from living life. Hopefully it goes without saying that the “taking off the hijab” as a way to show that a female character is “liberated” is overplayed and does not offer any respect to the countless Muslim women who choose to wear hijabs. 

Now I think the pacing of some of the storylines could have been handled a bit more gracefully. Like how we jump from Fraser and Harper being kind of enemies(not really but you know what I mean), to just them hanging out in Richard’s boat was jarring. I would have at least liked to see the scene of them talking on the rocks at the beach. It would’ve given more insight on Caitlin/Harper’s character and also on Fraser too. Also how quickly Maggie and Lu(Jennifer but I love the name Lubaba, it’s my aunt’s name)jump into a physical affair. I just would have liked to see a build up of tension between all these characters but I don’t think this entirely ruins the plot. 

I was very iffy when I learned that the show would be focusing on trans identity and gender and sexuality, but not actually hire a trans male actor. I was afraid that the show would completely botch the experiences of being transgender, and honestly I don’t have the authority to speak on whether or not this affects the quality of the show. I am cisgender, and only can empathize with this particular situation as much as I can. But I would like to hear to the opinion of someone who is trans and elaborate on the ways that they did/didn’t like Jordan Kristine Seamón’s portrayal. 

Now at the time I’m writing this, the season finale has yet to come out. But I’d also like to briefly discuss the most recent episode and how it developed Jonathan and Fraser’s relationship. I was VERY worried that Guadagnino was going to take their relationship in the direction of inappropriate. While nearly all the depictions of Jonathan and his actions have been trough Fraser’s pov, it didn’t stop me from side-eyeing some of the interactions they shared. Of course after it was mentioned that Jonathan was supposed to be in his late 20s, nearing 30 I was immediately uncomfortable with the very flirty behavior he exhibited. 

So when the scene of Fraser going up to his apartment after Craig’s death, I was very on edge. If Guadagnino had gone the extra mile to show an even larger age gap then I would’ve been pissed. While I enjoyed Call Me By Your Name, the implication that sexual relationships between barely legal teenagers and adults well into their 20s was sensual is something that I see as very weird now that I’m older. So seeing Jonathan as the object of Fraser’s affections made me extremely warry. 

And honestly, I’m still surprised that the scene even happened in its entirety. I’m sure that Jack was not in any danger of being exploited but there were definitely points while watching I thought, what the fuck is going on? I was very worried that it would escalate, but I was happy to see that Fraser was the one who stopped it from going further.  It made sense to me that this scene took so many liberties to be as graphic as possible without being too graphic, in order to show why a situation like that would be scary and confusing for Fraser. It wasn’t lost to me that Marta and Jonathan were the one’s initiating all the sexual advances. They held all the power in that scenario, even more so because Fraser is younger and has the tendencies to not make the best decisions. Though it seemed that Fraser was trying, he knew that the situation was fucked up.

I’d like to hear what JDG felt and thought doing this scene. What was his character’s thought process?

I’ve seen a lot of people compare the show heavily to CMBYN, which is fine. Besides certain cinematic parallels that people pointed out, I don’t see the clear comparison. CMBYN is more of a love story and it’s more polished than WAWWA. Now when I say tat, I don’t mean it as a negative. Rather, We Are Who We is obviously more devoted to realism and its characters. I appreciate the inclusion of more LGBTQ+ people and black main characters with development, something that CMBYN lacked. And for some people who didn’t like the show based solely on the fact that it wasn’t a CMBYN tv show, I suggest just going into it with no expectations and enjoy the mess. 

And I’d also like to take a moment to commend Jack Dylan Grazer for his job in We Are Who We Are. All of the main cast are amazing actors and actresses and did a really good job bringing their characters to life. Though, I had always associated JDG with supporting roles that, while highlighted his acting talent, only put him in a one-dimensional light. As good as It 2017 was, JDG’s role of Eddie is only meant to be seen as a comic relief. In WAWWA, I was able to forget that he was teen actor, Jack Dylan Grazer, and really see him as Fraser. It’s worth mentioning that in a GQ interview, Grazer also mentioned how this role made him reevaluate is approach to acting. 

And after reading an interview he did with a Interview Germany, with him saying he spent months in Italy reading the script and trying to perfectly craft this character, I was immensely impressed. I hope that he knows that all his hard work payed off and made a really dynamic and interesting character. I really hope that in the future JDG continues with more mature or multi-dimensional roles because he displayed that he has the talent to do so. Him being so young makes me optimistic in knowing that he is definitely going places in his career. I also hope that there will be a season 2 of WAWWA because despite having hour long episodes, the show still felt way too short. There is a lot about Fraser’s character, and all the others’ characters, that I want more information and analysis on.

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette did not sign up for this pt2

forgot to post this before i passed out last night. part one here ao3 here

It was almost four years into being Ladybug when the Justice League made contact.

In that time, she and Chat had built the miraculous team and they both knew each members identities, but swore them all to not seek out one another’s identity. (Though Alya was Alya and had Carapaced figured out on his first outing… convincing her not to reveal that to him took a bit. The girl was determined, but Marinette follows Fu’s rules to the letter (as much as she can) and that meant Secrets Stay Secret damnit.)

Not contacting the JL themselves was partially due to some fallout the Mayor and Parisian government with a (dissolved) Justice League’s branch. It was well before her team’s time. Something about collateral damage and if her miraculous could fix damage dealt by JL members or not playing some role in that too.

She decided it was a good thing when two years later she found a fucking dagger with a large bouquet on her balcony. It became a regular occurrence for special occasions—birthday, winter holidays and on Easter (she didn’t even know why on that one. Her parents aren’t Catholic. Maybe Murder Robin was, or thought she was?). She would just find some weapon with flowers somewhere in her room. She had no fucking clue what Murder Robin (Alya found articles where the ‘new’ Robin was cited as likely having killed multiple people in Gotham and just, yikes) or his friends or even her father (Fucking Batman, the Ghost of Gotham) might have meant by leaving it, but it was clear they had her address, knew which room was hers, and could do a lot of damage if she toed the line. She wasn’t testing any of those ‘no contact rules’ after that.

Hiding a dagger and various other weapons (so many knives and throwing stars) from Maman by giving it to Fu and later passing it off as an eccentric gift from him to her for always helping him out was… an adventure when Fu was still Master Fu. She hopes Murder Robin doesn’t find out about that bit. She has no clue how he or his family (not hers, hers are in Paris with her. Hers at least tried to talk to her, tried to listen and did make time for her. His family? Complete strangers she may share DNA with.)

She (logically) should be terrified that Murder Robin knows her alias and secret identity are the same person; if he’s really one of the world’s greatest detectives’ kids, why wouldn’t he know? Batman must have known for years—why else would Murder Robin be able to find her? the DNA scan was in a closed match system to just Paris. And she knew there was no way Goddamn Batman, Ghost of Gotham, would hang around Paris long enough to get dragged into the system for him to have a ping.

He just did not want anything to do with her or her city’s trouble since it wasn’t his. She wasn’t his. Wasn’t wanted by him. That was fine—he has enough to worry about in his hell city.

Sending Murder Robin out to do his dirty work?

Not fine.

Her team and her were… managing the Hawkmoth situation. Keeping it from spilling out of Paris since Startrain. Goo-guy managed to give them a break—people can grab akuma that aren’t meant for them and become much weaker akuma than if the akuma reached its target. Same with the few that could grab an akuma in the air. It meant when akuma went out, some citizens were willing to bear Hawkmoth’s wrath for a bit—even groups taking turns sometimes—to prevent someone from getting akumatized until Ladybug could purify the akuma or Chat Noir could destroy it.

And for akuma battles, well, she has more than just her and Chat, Luck (Creation) and Destruction. Viperion gave them multiple chances to change costly choices in battle. Bunnix fixed the ones that Viperion couldn’t. All oversized opponents fell to Ryuko and her mastery of the elements, even if she can’t always make it thanks to different schools and tight schedules. Miss Sting was chosen by Marinette—Aurore was easy to lean on for news team reports and media appearances that Ladybug and Chat Noir don’t have the time or energy for. Plus, Aurored needed the anger management, so win-win. Don’t even get her started on Pegasus or King Monkey always being ready at a moment’s notice and how they both started joining Nino and Alya’s parkour dates that have morphed into group hangouts in last two years. Seriously—if she knew where she needed to be, Max was ready to answer her call. If she knew more chaos would work as a distraction, long live King Monkey, the Great Distractor.

Then there’s her emotional support in the field (besides her chaton), Carapace. He’s a great shield in battle, good with civilians and quick to defend. He’s also big on mental health (something their team sorely needed). How Nino managed to get turtle headphones, Marinette doesn’t know. She does know she nicks them from him regularly as Ladybug for team hangouts and when she needs to clam down on patrol.

Then there is her civilian bestie, the one who convinced her to stay as Ladybug, Alya Cesaire, aka Rena Rogue and the Ladyblogger. Rena Rouge is by and far one of her favorites to talk about potential Hawkmoths with, and work out akuma prevention techniques with. In the battlefield she was one of the first to strike (even if that’s not how she should be using the flute, Marinette has no room for judgment given how she uses all of her Lucky Charms.) Alya always posted and circulated anti-akuma tips and altered the Ladyblog to have each icon for known miraculous mean something.

Marinette was nothing but supportive of her friend, even if the blog is a behemoth to maintain and resulted in Alya retiring as her Deputy (Rose took over gleefully as Deputy). She liked that the Ladybug was for news, and the Cat for if an attack is ongoing. The Butterfly tracks akuma sightings before an attack, and was a bit on the nose in her opinion, but it’s effectively mapped out areas where Hawkmoth’s lair is or has an opening, giving them an area to investigate and patrol more heavily. The Turtle offered guided meditation videos and yoga sessions (somehow always on-going), while the Fox was for group chats and various akuma-related support groups. The Peacock offered mental health resources, and was constantly growing. The Bee was for self defense videos and sat next to Dragon for akuma survival tips. The Snake was one of her personal favorites, advice on calming down with guided breathing if someone feels close to being akumatized, and she’d used it herself more than once. The Horse was the one she’s the least familiar with, for shelter routes that she never used. The Monkey held a number of fun distractions, videos and memes uploaded by her followers with art and songs, and was overall very light hearted.

Marinette is proud of her team.

Though it doesn’t mean there aren’t days she’s waiting for it all to unravel, or for an Older Bunnix to appear again and tell her they have to undo the day Marinette’s identities were compromised. But that is a always an apocalypse event option only. Chat Blanc still haunts Marinette’s nightmares, and Alix’s too. the Princess Justice timeline haunts Alix since she lived it in real time, but it’s Adiren’s nightmare come to life in multiple other akuma attacks. Apparently if Marinette is akumatized, she brings about a second Reign of Terror so encompassing, it made Robespierre’s look like a child’s drawing of what a reign 

It was during another Syren event when things went from workable to a slow boiling unbearable. All but Alix were transformed and fighting minions to clear a path for Ladybug to get to the main akuma.

Imagine her frustration when Aquaman and Aqualad appeared behind her while she was scouting on the outskirts, and both refused to make any eye contact, practically kneeling in water to her and making themselves a target. When they should be able to read the room and see that the battlefield isn’t the place for this.

“Oh Great Paschalítsa” Aquaman began, “I understand your hesitance in this matter, given the Miraculous and Atlantis’ history,” Aquaman continued as she dodged yet another minion further ahead and kept working her way to where the akuma was, ignoring his speech. “But I ask that you do not sink—”

Marinette gave up on her current task to ensure there wasn’t some international incident of Ladybug letting Aquaman be captured by akumas or something. She’d never head the end of it if she didn’t.

But now they were surrounded. Aqualad at least kept his attention on the task at hand (re: keeping minions from spotting her) as they all worked out a way to escape, even if he wasn’t looking anywhere near her. Apparently Aquaman got the message (finally) and did the same as his sidekick(?) after Aqualad made a few gestures she wasn’t paying attention to. She does have an akuma item to break and akuma to catch and purify.

The pair did manage to act as decent bodyguards and distractions while she worked out the kid’s item and how it connected to their fixation—no swimming until their grades up meant all of their gear but a whistle was taken away. One Lucky Charm and convoluted plot that merged fighting in 3-D, a pair of scissors and a lot off kicking off underwater buildings later, and Paris was back to normal.

She managed it without talking to Aquaman once. She could give quick directions to Aqualad without toeing the line—he wasn’t part of the Justice League and was known to operate in the ocean alone when Aquaman wasn’t there.

“Great Paschalítsa,” Aquaman began and Marinette wanted him to go off and leave her alone. Him and Aqualad. “As king of Atalntis, I humbly offer my aide in whatever has caused you and the great Mávri Gáta to show yourselves to the world.”

What was with all this formal speech? Marinette thought they knew French, or well, Alya mentioned it said they did in their bio, but it clearly wasn’t the kind her class used for projects. And Marinette was exhausted, frustrated, and now did not have a good and convenient target for her rage (re: akuma that drowned Paris) and well…

Well, she blew up. A bit. But can you blame her?

They wouldn’t take the hint. (Silence means Fuck Off).

“Look,” Marinette whirled on them, ignoring her team’s shock and not even going in for the celebratory ‘Pound it’.  “I told Murder Robin—“ the pair winces at the that wording. Good. They knew who she meant then.

“—that I won’t get involved with anything involving our dad.”

She didn’t miss the sharp intakes from her team. Chat knew, only due to a freak out over being left a freaking sword one time and she panicked, okay?

“And I meant it. Just because Batman felt guilty or something,” She doubted it. Ghost of Gotham doesn’t feel anything and can apparently take out entire buildings on occasion. (Even if she was pretty sure that was someone filling in for him, she wouldn’t discount it either.) “That Doesn’t mean I’m going to change my mind on the matter—My team has got this. And we don’t need a handout four years too late.”

They had to. Fu was gone (For three months now. Three months Marinette held the weight of being The Guardian on her shoulders alone. She had to have this. She wouldn’t trust random elements sent by Mr. ‘I accept my murderous son and ignore the one in constant peril that blew herself up twice to save Paris.’  

“Bug out.”

She knew her team would have questions, but Chat could answer them for now and Miss Sting would be able to handle any questions if any the media tried anything. Bright side of having the main Miraculous Team journalist as Rena with a determined hacker Pegasus; if it was personal to the team, the pair made sure it was never there.

--

Later at JL HQ

Aquaman walked up to Batman once the meeting was over. Batman knew the man had something on his mind and that it was related to himself—why else would he keep looking at him during the meeting? Whatever was troubling the Atlantian, Bruce could only hope it wasn’t emotions. That was really, really not his department… Jonn was much better with issues like that.

“Batman, may I have a word?”

Batman nodded, quick to follow the other out into a more private room.

“It has come to my attention that your daughter and you have a, uh, tricky relationship.”

Batman raised an eyebrow, as his relationship with Cass was doing well… he thought. Maybe he should visit her more? She was doing fine on her own and was always warm to him when he visited her in China on her missions against the Triad. Perhaps he should see if she was open to working with him on a case on that, or see if she wanted to come to Gotham again.

“And I don’t mean to judge here,” Aqua man continued, obviously nervous. “But uh, apparently your current Robin is well aware of her existence.”

Batman raised an eyebrow under the cowl. “Black Bat and Robin are close.”

The way Aquaman’s face contorted indicated nothing good. “Your other daughter.” The man paused, waiting for Batman to understand. “Ladybug.”

Bruce… Bruce froze. “I don’t have another daughter.” Not to his knowledge.

Aquaman ran a hand through his hair. “Well apparently ‘Murder Robin’ has met her,” Aquaman said with air quotes of all things. “Years ago.”

Bruce felt his heart stop. Damian’s… adjustment into the family had not been easy. And a few years ago Damian was much more… willing to do things against the Batcode, things that had him thriving in the League of Assassins. Things that changed a person. Things he’d need to ask this Ladybug—his daughter, another surprise child—about.

“And given that a Ladybug being active has always been a sign of a potential apocalypse—“

Batman’s red flags began flashing. Hard. His child was in danger and fighting a potential apocalypse event. Without his help. Without Batman’s resources.

“I assume Ladybug is a mantel.” Bruce hoped she had a mentor, someone to ease her into hero-work.

“Yes.” Aquaman looked… hesitant then. “Were it not for one Ladybug’s mercy, my people would have died when Atlantis was sunk by her equal, the Black Cat’s user. It seems this time they’re allies this time, against the Butterfly—I, Batman, are you alright?”

Bruce was not okay, at all. There is an ongoing apocalypse event, a daughter he never met stopping it (how old was she? Was she Damian’s age or older? Younger? He didn’t want her to have to live with this life, but she was and was doing so without him, without his help, without someone he knew she could lean on for support) and apparently his youngest son was well aware of this and did nothing to help. Did not even tell him.

He was going to have words with Damian.

“Excuse me.” Batman turned to leave. He has a son to interrogate, research to do, and a daughter to find (beg forgiveness for not getting to her sooner, and help her) on top of the usual workload. A Bat’s work is never done.

Wonder Woman who stopped him while he was reeling with this information, her grip too solid on his arm, and unlikely to break.

“It is not wise to rush in.” She began, appealing to reason in the hopes of keeping a panicked “Batdad” from making the situation worse. “From what Aquaman has told us, she does not welcome your involvement,” she said slowly, hoping it would sink in. “The Ladybug Miraculous has always been an agent of creation, of healing.” Diana hoped that would set her friend’s mind at ease. Ladybugs were notorious for their battle prowess and strategies, yes, but first and foremost their duty was to undo damage. “Ladybug herself will have much on her shoulders if her role is anything like my mother’s when she was among the Chosen, and adding yourself to the equation before her adversary is defeated will only serve to distract her from her goal.”

Batman remained tense, but didn’t struggle against Wonder Woman’s grasp. Good.

Green Lantern was the next to approach, as planned. “So why don’t you focus on your family in Gotham before rushing into meeting this kid,” Green Lantern—no, Hal suggested. “We’ll work on finding out what’s causing this possible apocalypse. You get your house in order.”

Bruce heard the words that weren’t said. Find out what your ex-assassin son did your demi-god daughter and make sure he doesn’t screw up anything further.

“That is not—“

“Batman.” Wonder Woman squeezed his arm. “This is not a suggestion.”

Cold curled in Bruce's stomach. His daughter was in danger, fighting against a potential apocalypse, and he was told to sit this one out. When it was personal. (His daughter who he needed to meet, to learn about, to see what made her tick and work out how to help her wherever she might need it. His daughter who he had lost years with.)

(They were ordering him to lose more time with her.)

“You are benched from League activities until this is sorted out.” Wonder Woman continued, as though she hadn’t just gutted Bruce. “I will take lead on Ladybug’s case. My people have much experience with her and the Black Cat as allies.” It was Diana that was smiling then. “Perhaps Mother’s connection will convince her to allow our aide.”

Green Lantern nodded along. “And when I’m not with you guys, well, GL core is in charge of keeping things not-apocalypse-y across the universe and keeping it from spiraling. And Miraculous tend to like the whole Balance thing, so it shouldn’t be too much for me to help out every now and then with them too.”

Bruce twitched where he was. He wasn’t going to win this. Not by a long shot.

But they were taking Aquaman and a Green Lantern. Granted, at least it wasn’t Guy. But a Lantern. Over him. When it involves his family.

He had to get his house in order quickly.

--

Damian would say he was quite pleased with himself that day. He managed to decide the type of weapon that would help his sister defend herself against others best, given her profession as a seamstress, he was annoyed he hadn’t thought of it sooner. Selecting the type of needle to give her, and to ensure they could be used for fabrics to give her a reason to carry them on her person, was crucial however.

She had rejected his other offerings thus far, though he could hardly blame her. This would be his seventh attempt. He did hear it was a lucky number from somewhere… and he had gotten better since his last attempts at understanding the type of person she showed herself to be and the type of person she wished to be seen as.

The Swiss dagger on his first attempt was too bulky and not hidden enough for a style of fighting she should strive to cultivate. His second attempt was an ear dagger which were easier to use and she could add additional force with her thumb. He thought it was better protection for her, and it was small enough this time to be kept in her purse. Much better than his first attempt. Only from her pictures he knew it wasn’t ever in her purse.

He had failed to find her an acceptable apology gift that offered her the protection she needed. The third was when he moved to a larger blade, hoping the thin rapier could be hidden well enough as decorative or as a fancier fencing tool than standard. It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility given her closeness to an Olympic level fencer and this ‘Adrien Agreste’ who often partnered with Tsurugi. He was glad she had taken to displaying it at the least, though Adrien claiming to have given it to her left a bad taste in his mouth.

His sister wished to not have it known she had her own weapons then, he could handle that. His fourth attempt was  going to be a butterfly knife but given legal restrictions that he had come to realize she would follow (as idiotic as they were) he changed it to a classic Swiss knife. He did see this carried on her person on occasion, but not often. He looked into more easily concealed knives and gifted her a ballpoint pen knife—it looked like a pen and he made sure to customize it to resemble the pens in her room (he took a sample for reference) and did see her often carrying that one, though by active attempt or chance he couldn’t gather. He decided she would need a long range item next, and gifted her a small variety of throwing stars (and a knife or two, she seemed to favor possible close combat weapons of those he gave her). He noticed that none of these were carried on her person (he may have bugged them with trackers to figure out her preference) and they rarely left her room.

That was why he concluded that this time needles that she could use for sewing or battle were his best bet. Finding a way to walk that line was proving challenging.

Father came in while he was making his selection. He did find it odd Father hadn’t mentioned her to the rest of the family, but it could be that he wished her a more peaceful life. Damian would not disrespect his father’s wishes by bringing her up.

“Damian, we need to talk.”

Damian furrowed his brow, running over what could warrant that tone. He came up empty.

Father did move closer and see he was looking at needles this time. And showed surprised.

“For Okhti Al Kobra,” Damian stated, hoping his father wouldn’t be upset at him recognizing her. He knew now it was better for her to be apart from them, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do what he could to help her protect herself. His older sister deserved better.

Father did freeze at that.

Had Damian displeased him? (He wouldn’t… wouldn’t send him to back. Damian knew that. But that look… it brought back the boy that wondered when he’d be tossed aside by the Great Batman for no longer being a good solider.)

“Father? I know you don’t like to speak of her but.”

“You, you’re getting her needles?” it was a question. He didn’t get why.

“Yes, my last presents seemed inadequate. She has taken to the penknife, but only sometimes. She keeps the Swiss on her sometimes too—haven’t you been keeping an eye on her social media? She posts a disgusting amount. I figured given the boutique it wouldn’t be unacceptable for her to carry needles on her as a weapon and tool in the future, should anyone else discover our connection.”

Bruce stared Damian, waiting for him to finish.

“She does keep the flowers I left her, though she does react oddly. The first time she was very pale.” Looking back, it was likely fear. She was a civilian after all… “However I believe she has come to accept that even with distance, she is still a Bat by blood and as such, should remain vigilant.” Damian hoped his report was adequate.

“She… how old is she?” Father’s tone was softer then. but the question didn’t make any sense.

“Father, you should know how old she is.” Damian waited for the man to respond.

He didn’t.

Damian furrowed his brow. “Father, you do know who she is, right?”

“Ladybug.”

Damian blinked at that. He had no idea who that was, but he knew an alias when he heard one. “She’s a civilian—when did she—”

“Damian.” He stilled at that. “How old is she?”

Damian straightened then. “She was twelve and a half when we first met. She will be sixteen in two weeks.” Damian glanced at his abandoned screen. “She enjoys design.”

“Her, her name.” His father looked… lost.

“I, we don’t revel secret identities?” Damian was a bit lost. Father should know of his sister. They were only two years apart. She was from before his father’s training became serious. He should know of her, at least. And if he didn’t, wasn’t it a betrayal to her if he revealed who she was without her permission? Whenever he tried to visit, she was always elsewhere, and he couldn’t very well show up as Damian Wayne. That would reveal the family and she didn’t need to know that. Didn’t need that burden.

“She knows she’s my daughter.” Father sounded…desperate.

“She knows she is Batman’s. I didn’t reveal your identity, or the family’s.”

“I…”

Damian took a deep breath. He didn’t want to betray his family. Or further hurt his older sister. “I believe that we should speak to her before discussing her identity. It… it should be her choice.”

Father looked pained at that.

“I assume you don’t…” No, father would not know how the first meeting went… right?

Father said nothing before leaving.

Damian wondered if he should visit her sooner. He eyed his cart and got her a set of weaponry needles, knitting, and a set made for seamstresses with small hands. He hoped these were to her liking. Perhaps he should add white heather (Protection) and purple hyacinth (I’m sorry) in addition to the zinnias…. Or just give her two with the zinnias mixed between them, as Damian reasoned the heather and hyacinth wouldn’t looks the best together. Yellow (daily remembrance) and scarlet (constancy) zinnias with heather (protection) and some greenery should be fine, and purple hyacinth (I’m sorry) mixed with magenta (lasting affection) white (goodness) and perhaps a white daffodil (stay as sweet as you are) with a filler of some sort would work well. She accepted his apologies (albeit in flowers) before, and he hoped he had proven he was paying enough attention to her for her to see that he meant it.

He was glad he hadn’t killed her that day.

Now he had research to do to help his sister.

He missed Brown as she slipped out. And completely missed finding out she was messaging Todd, Drake and Cassandra the news: there was a missing Bat into design, goes by Ladybug, and Bruce has no clue what her identity is.

Cass didn’t send anything in response.

Jason stated he would find her before Tim.

Stephanie was just excited for another girl in the group. Little sister in need of help? Count her in—being Spoiler versus being Batgirl was a world of difference. Having a team made it easier, and it shouldn’t be too hard to convince the girl to give it a shot, right?

--

Thanks for waiting. part three here

tags: @heldtogetherbysafetypins @laurcad123 @raisuke06

debating which bat will find her first (in person), so feel free to state any preferences, and thanks for the comments and kudos--it really does help with working this idea out.

[aotopmha]

Notes on chapter 132, based on translations that are out.

-I like how Annie is written out on the character level. The chapter goes into detail considering her character motivations so far and why she decides to stay behind.

One thing I've noticed is people reducing Annie's character to her relationship with Armin now that it exists at all. It's like a knee-jerk reaction every time a female character ends up having a relationship with a male character. I understand it, stories tend to do that and I feel like the romantic element for Annie's and Armin's relationship is kind of out of nowhere myself, but this and the previous chapter clearly explore that Annie is tired of fighting after all of the fighting she has done and I think it makes sense for her as an individual character. It has nothing to do with Armin. Her main scenes in this chapter were actually with Mikasa and Reiner. It's a strange hyper-focus to me, I guess. It happens with Mikasa, too. You've got basically a good chunk of an arc focusing on the relationship between her and Armin with Eren doing his own thing (both Trost and Shiganshina), but she still only cares about Eren, I guess.

This is actually the first time Annie has considered her feelings and what she wants and that's good progress for a character that hates herself.

That said, having her back after 90 or so chapters and not having her actions matter that much here is wierd. The most I see as her plot importance right now is knocking sense into Reiner. I've seen people write the ship crew off already, but I can't help but feel they still might end up having more time and relevance because of paths or some other unforeseen circumstances. I think Gabi and Falco are in a similar situation, as well. If they don't, I think I will have a problem with Annie's involvement in the plot, but I think on a character level she's been handled just fine, even really solidly.

-I like that Floch dies with strong convictions and good intentions in mind. This is the most interesting aspect of Eren and the Yeagerists to me. They are doing this because they want to protect their country and people they love.

While people generally consider fascism as completely evil because of it's horrible methodology (as we also see in this series), the reason why it catches on during times of crisis is because it provides a clear and well-defined perspective within the chaos of the crisis and part of that is the element of saving the people (country) you love. This is a really important element of fascism and the reason why I'd rather not Eren be reduced to the standard villain, but still retain his nuance by the end. Evil is just as human and comes from just as human places as good and for us to not make the same mistakes, it is best to understand the mistakes on a human level and then learn from them, not just brush them off.

-I like Hange's death. It incorporates elements from both, Erwin's and Armin's, sacrifice. She went out there to make all of the deaths mean something and dedicated her heart one last time, which carried on Erwin's will till the end. The final scene of her among everyone is a wonderful callback to the soldiers who have followed the Survey Corps commanders around on their journey, from Erwin standing on the corpses of his comerades to both Erwin and Hange looking at their faces. It's good pathos in my eyes.

I think her farewell scene with Levi was really good for just how well it conveyed their relationship in a couple of gestures.

I've seen the final scene actually considered real and not symbolic of a job well done for Hange for the situation she was handed (which is what I think its narrative purpose was), which I personally think is one of the dumbest ideas I've seen around about the chapter because I think this is a pretty typical trope in war stories and AoT itself has used this stuff before at various points, with, as said, all the scenes with Erwin and Hange seeing their comerades.

But we also see stuff like Jean imagining him and the group of trainees being eaten by Titans before joining the Survey Corps just to convey a state of mind.

Erwin was not actually standing on those corpses, folks. It's all thematic imagery just like all of the animal stuff here and there. Hell, the people Hange knows less even have their backs turned to her.

If it is meant to be literal, it is extremely uncharacteristic of the story, but I feel if you know anything about visual storytelling and visual storytelling tropes, this is pretty typical.

I know there is also contention about Hange being the one to go out there and delay the Titans, but I don't think any of them would be able to do as much as Hange did alone here.

Onyakapon is obviously needed to fly the plane.

Reiner and Pieck would be pretty much useless in their Titan forms and we don't even know if Pieck can actually use the 3DMG, which is the more smarter option here to use over her tiny Titan form.

Connie and Jean going out there has nothing to do with their position in the story and their character arcs, while Hange is the one carrying the weight of the responsibility. Can you also really imagine Connie or Jean having the same competency taking down Titans as Hange, someone who has been doing it far longer than any of them?

Maybe Armin and Mikasa could. But that might leave the possibility of getting through to Eren off the table. I think what people also forget is that Eren still felt guilty when fighting them. Everyone Eren knows facing him might actually be a tactical advantage.

Hange does have a connection with Eren, but most of the group has a much stronger one with him than her.

Finally, there is Levi, who can't even stand up properly. I don't think he is fit enough to even hold off one Titan and as a result they would all be dead.

Outside of this group is also Annie, Yelena, Kiyomi and the two kids and only Annie feels the one equipped enough to take the distraction role.

But ultimately I think it's a thing of principle and character perspective.

Reiner and Annie can use the 3DMG in fairly skilled ways (they are higher ranked among the 104th), they have regenerative abilities and they are in a fairly good physical condition (though also probably much more exhausted than Hange). I think you could spin their character stories to fit this situation if you really wanted. Either of them could've gone to sacrifice themselves for the group to get away.

But Hange is the leader so she thinks she should take the responsibility. She straight-up says that she hasn't been a very efficent leader, so she views this as a redemption of sorts. Armin even offers to go instead of her.

You could paint it as plot convinience and be done with it, but just like Levi's decision to not inject Erwin, I think it makes sense on a character level and what Hange's character struggle has been about in this arc, even if it's not the most "logical" decision.

The other element that has contention related to Hange is that she passed the position of commander over to Armin.

In any other position, I would agree it to be Jean, but considering the context of going to fight Eren, I think Armin is fine and this to me is supported by the reasons Hange gives to appoint Armin as the commander.

Hange says that she appoints Armin because of his insight and courage.

The small detail that even if he's falling to pieces emotionally, he never actually runs away might be useful in the confrontation with Eren. Maybe he'll be overwhelmed and indecisive at points, which is why Jean could be more fitting, but ultimately he ends up at least facing the issue throughout however much turmoil.

While his ability to see the world through a more nuanced light and willingness to cooperate is not only a thematic way to contrast Eren and Armin (the former being stuck in his own perspective and the latter being willing to talk), his reasonings and wake-up calls might get through to Eren much more strongly because they have done so before, in Trost and in Shiganshina.

In any other situation I'd pick Jean, but here I think Armin is better or at the very least also a good option. It's not completely unreasonable.

I do not think this means any of the arcs of the characters are thrown under the bus. I feel everyone on the plane will get closure to their arcs. I think Jean's leadership ability will become relevant. I think Reiner's desire to be a hero will become relevant. I think Pieck's desire to fulfill her responsibility as a warrior will become relevant. I even think Connie's desire to kill Zeke will become relevant and finally so will Armin's and Mikasa's connection with Eren.

I'm much more worried about Zeke and Historia.

I think Historia is essential to make the thematic backbone of the story work. She's the first one among the Reiss to step up and break it. Why would she attempt to break the cycle by playing into it? I think Historia got another perspective of whatever Eren saw and might be working against that. Sadly it probably still involved letting Eren start the rumbling, but perhaps she found a way for it not to go all the way.

We know the oath of the First King is not actually a thing now because Ymir refused to comply, so who says Historia and paths Ymir can't have an encounter.

As a final note, I like the moment with Mikasa and Annie from Mikasa's perspective. The story opted to have Mikasa gain a more healthy perspective on Eren rather than complete independence from him and that can happen. You can go the independence route, but I think this works, too.

Relationships can change for the better and they can change for the worse.

All of this said, I think most of the content was nicely substantial and made sense, but that isn't the main issue I have with this chapter.

I think it has a pacing problem. Some scenes are just fine, but I feel some are a little too quick to have as much impact as I'd like them to have. Mainly Floch's and Hange's death scenes. The point behind them is good, but I think just a couple more pages of breathing room would've made this good chapter a great one.

I do think the anime giving this chapter just a little bit more time could definitely make it great and improve on the other ones where pace bothers me.

[littleeyesofpallas]

Okay so maybe making a big long post just as a lead up to this was too dramatic and I’ve hyped myself up for nothing, but here we go...

I think the Hollows are actually a natural reincarnation process that the Shinigami disrupt by slaying Hollows.

That has a lot of implications that I’m trying hard not to try(and fail) to wrestle all at once....  But at the broadest level of context: Kubo pretty frequently references Buddhist myth and cosmology, in particular some of the Naraka, which are a little more specific than generically deity figures like Enma or Guanyin, showing that he is specifically familiar with the Buddhist penance cycle of reincarnation where bad karma is basically worked off by living and dying lifetimes in different rings of afterlife, being reborn more pure each time, until becoming human again.

Note that it’s the souls of evil humans, even after they’ve become Hollows, that specifically go to hell.  That’s why Zanpakutou only “purify” Hollows, and not actually kill them, because the Hollow’s aren’t actually innately bad people.  And we do briefly touch back on this with Zommari’s dying rant.

And of the characters that we can infer are/were introduced as Vastlord, they do all share a kind of innocence: Ulquiorra is clearly the model of the silhouette of the Vastlord in exposition when explaining the 3 Menos Grande levels, and his overall character arc shows him as being the most sympathetic of the Espada.  We see Wonderweiss’ creation and his humanoid size and shape as a Hollow, we see his distinctly childlike (if eerily so) demeanor, and Tousen calls him “Pure.”  Nel appears as distinctly childlike, with unusual status outside the ranks of Aizen’s army, and is foreshadowed to be much more powerful that she appears (and the twist we do get for that wasn’t remotely satisfying, but I’ll get to that later...).

I think as the Menos Grande change forms as they eat more human souls and other Hollows, they become not just more humanoid in shape, but more human-like in moral quality as well.  The Vastlord have never threatened Soul Society or even the human world before, despite their immense power level, because they have no intention to; and they are difficult to find because they are actively avoiding conflict and hiding because they don’t want to fight.  This particular attitude is reflected in Nelliel, Ulquiorra, and Starrk, where they all have a kind of default position of non-violence, and even when they do fight they do so with minimal investment or enjoyment.

And Zommari’s dying protests about the Shingami, and his praise of Aizen in relation to it, as well as Aissingler’s dying words about Hollows being born from fear and drawn to Aizen for his defiance of the fear of death further lend to the idea that Hollows, as ghosts of the dead consumed by the negative emotions surrounding their own deaths, ultimately just want to be alive again.

Under these terms, Nel, Ulquiorra, and Wonderweiss I think were all meant to be Vastolords when they were introduced —the intent behind Starrk is harder to place because of how early yet little he appeared before any real information was given to us— and all share the trait of being essentially “good,” albeit dangerously powerful, people.

I think the original plan with Nel (if there even was real “plan” at all) wasn’t actually for her to be a “former Espada” I think Kubo was going to reveal her as one of the coveted Vastlords and make her one of his new Espada, alongside the likes of Wonderweiss.  I think Kubo salvaged part of that plot to put into the awkward round 2-of-3 of the Nnoitra fight, and that what we got was just what a hastily truncated version of that whole dynamic looked like.  (The entire delay on bringing up the two of them makes the eventual confrontation seem like an afterthought.  The reveal itself seems like nonsense and requires way too much exposition just to justify.  The transformation itself isn’t actually explained.  The fight doesn’t even go anywhere or forward the plot.  And the transformation back isn’t explained either.)

So, on this basis, Nnoitra being been sent to track down Vastlords and senselessly slaughtering hollows in the process was something i think Kubo wanted from an early point, but that was also back when looking for the Vastolord was still an actual plot hook. (Consider that by the time the Nel fight was happening, it hadn’t been mentioned in forever and never would again either.  So, if it wasn’t wrapping up the Vastlord plot, and wasn’t developing it toward anything, why bring it up?  Because it wasn’t written with the future plot in mind, it was written with the past plot in mind.)

But in his mix of arrogance and insecurity Nnoitra wouldn’t bring any Vastolord back to Aizen, he’d strike them down so they couldn’t be made into Arrancar that would be more powerful than him. And you can see how this idea and what we actually got share all that same basic shapes of character dynamic and even plot beats(as crudely outlined in the assortment of Nnoitra’s dying memories), even within the context of different narratives.

But Aizen’s plans also clearly meant to make use of Orihime’s Rejection powers, though we never really learned how. One hinted at option was that his method of forcing the Hougyoku out of hibernation was damaging it, and that he intended to have Orihime undo that damage. Or alternatively to have her just undo the sealing process that forced the Hougyoku into hibernation in the first place.  Either way, putting the full power Hougyoku in his hands before the projected deadline of “Winter” that Soul Society was planning for.

But another consideration in that he could have had her Reject the imperfect Arrancar process of Mock-Arrancar like I assume Nel was meant to be, like Starrk was (I assume unintentionally) shown to be, and like Ulquiorra was kind of established as out of core continuity, so that he could remake them more completely with the Hougyoku.

I think this is where Nel’s adult form was actually going to come from, (rather than randomly turning into a woman and then given an even less explained transformation into a child in the first place) and also why Kubo had a second Resurreccion for Ulquiorra fully prepared as a design (remember he only used his first resurreccion for like 2 chapters before busting out Segunda Etapa) and yet never bothered with an in-world explanation for what or why it even was.

Speaking of Ulquiorra, I don’t feel like I have a lot to add about his particular character development.  It didn’t quite have what I’d call a “satisfying” conclusion, but it seems like we got most of what Kubo was aiming for from him: that he’s kind of the ideal model of an Arrancar, an empty vessel —A creature without a heart given human awareness— slowly being filled up with emotional understanding as he watches Orihime never give up on her friends.  Even without a more dramatic turning point for it, plot wise, he did basically complete his process, at the very last minute, of being won over.

Going back to the Nel part of this rewrite: If Aizen had Orihime revert her to a Vastlord so he could make her into a more powerful Arrancar himself, while the plot development would inevitably have a menacing tone to it, there’d be the fun exploitable loophole where, because Orihime’s powers are abstract and not time based, reverting Nel from a Mock-Arrancar to a Hollow wouldn’t actually erase any of her memories or experiences, so she’d still be fundamentally good and herself and loyal to Ichigo.

So to bring this back around to pt.1 of this big rant, if the Winter War scenario had been able to play out under these circumstances, it would stand to reason that when Aizen arrives with the Perfect Espada, taking the Gotei 13 by surprise and overpowering them completely the first “twist” of the climactic battle would’ve been the Visored —with complete training Ichigo— would arrive to fight Aizen, and subsequently reveal that they aren’t actually allies with Soul Society just because they’re also fighting Aizen, they steal the Hougyoku for themselves, Orihime tries to spring her Rejection plan into action before it’s too late, and the new shuffle leaves Ichigo and Orihime and their personal circle of innately good Arrancar, against (at least some of...) the Visored.

And I honestly I kind of figure that Tousen’s whole science-experiment hybrid form was something that Shinji probably would’ve wound up with instead, with about the same heel-face-turn tone as Ginjou stealing Ichigo’s Fullbring.  Which would’ve just ended with Aizen taking the Hougyoku back, probably gloating about his experiments, and then just roll right into his god form ascension, not actually all that dissimilar to what we wound up with anyway.

I don’t really know that there was a coherent conclusion to this.  it started with wanting to get the Vastlord and Arrancars as good guys thing, and collecting the surrounding evidence and logic for that, but talking about kinda necessitated outlining its function in the broader plot and themes, which meant my headcanon... so here we are.... but I dunno what else to get into about this whole thing without just derailing into a whole other offshoot of rants... so I guess we’re done here.  for now...